#because regardless of his origins he's STILL FUCKING WORKING CLASS IN THE HERE AND NOW!!!!

[theorderofthetriad]

"We must assume [X] about character, it makes the most sense (to me) that that's canonical, if you assume anything otherwise you are wrong*!"

*morally!

can we PLEASE fucking stop this????

[one-way-dream]

Nights of Future Past (One-Shot)

Rating: Teen+

Words: 8100+

Media: Danganronpa, Super Danganronpa 2,

Characters/Pairings: Hajime Hinata/Nagito Komaeda, Hajime Hinata, Nagito Komaeda, Makoto Naegi

Tags: Post-Island Mode, Hurt/Comfort, Complicated Feelings, Mutual Pining, Reminiscing, First Kiss, Internal Conflict, Light Angst, Depression

Warnings: Suicidal Ideation

Chapter: 1/1

Link to the original work

AO3 Summary/Except:

Things aren't the same after waking up from the Neo World Program, even after their rehabilitation. The truth weighs on them both heavily, and Hajime finds out firsthand just how deep the trenches run.

--

Hajime walks into Nagito's home finds him passed out on the ground. (Based on artwork)

Author's Notes:

only losers write speedrun-write entire fics at 6am for fun without their glasses (and wondering why the screen looks blurry) while waiting for their prof to show up to their group presentation for an Entire Hour only for the prof to not show up at all and all the group members leave without having a goddamn clue on what to do. its me im losers.

i wrote this fic two semesters ago and decided to polish it up a little (<- skimmed over it) because i didn’t like it very much and still don't but said ‘eh fuck it we ball’ and am publishing it now before i forget it exists. which has happened a few times.

Hajime hears the rustling of papers before he sees him, but that doesn’t keep the headache from creeping into his mind.

Although he shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t feel that way about seeing Makoto, especially with all that the man has done for him, regardless of Hajime’s… personal bitterness. But more often than not, the latter would only be sent over to give Hajime some “additional tasks” on Byakuya’s word.

Because of course it was Byakuya working them all like dogs, and of course Makoto was kind enough to trust in his judgement wholeheartedly.

A long sigh escapes him before he finally lifts his head to peer over the cubicle wall, not bothering to hide when Makoto already had his desk number memorized, as he looks for the familiar strands of light brown hair navigating through the office partitions. The sight of them inching and bobbing closer with each step almost reminds him of a shark, and truthfully, he’d laugh a little at the thought if there weren’t fumes coming out of his ears from exhaustion.

And eventually, the rustling gets louder.

Alright, deep breaths, Hajime reminds himself. There’s only a few more hours in the workday anyway, so the task would either have to be a short one or one he’d take care of first thing in the morning.

Poor Makoto generally didn’t have the heart to ask Hajime to work overtime; no, for those cases, Byakuya played his cards straight and asked Kyouko to be the messenger instead. Iron gaze and icy tone for every last soul she came across except Makoto, Byakuya, and the other survivors – she was one of the few members of the Future Foundation that both captivated and genuinely frightened Hajime by her presence alone, and Togami Byakuya knew exactly how effective she was at ‘convincing’ people.

Then again, Hajime could say the same for a lot of the girls in his class. Charming, but absolutely goddamn terrifying.

“Ah, Hinata-kun! I’m so glad you’re still here.” Makoto’s frame popped in from around the corner of his cubicle, balancing a stack of worn-out folders and fighting to keep them from slipping out of his arms. The shorter man beamed at Hajime despite the struggle, and the latter reciprocated because despite the dread pinching at him for an additional workload, he at least liked Makoto as a person. Mostly.

A loose folder finally won against his efforts, the contents spilling all over the dusty carpet in sheets of white and finely printed black ink. Makoto froze, as if he wasn’t expecting the outcome before his shoulders slumped in defeat. He let out a groan that sounded more like a childish whine.

Meanwhile, Hajime had to bite his tongue to not chuckle at his comical misery, and instead started wordlessly picking up the sheets during Makoto’s moment of frustration, making the other snap out of his state and scramble to the floor to help with his one free hand.

“Oh, you really don’t have to do that,” He frantically picked at the few documents that remained scattered, sighing quietly when five fluttered right out of his hands like a cruel magic trick and onto the floor again, "But thank you so much.” Makoto’s face pulled into an embarrassed smile, cheeks a little tinted as he chanced a glance at the other to gauge his reaction, “I’m sorry for making such a mess…”

Hajime looked up and gave him a small and polite smile. “Don’t worry about it, you were carrying a lot anyway. Just leave the folders on my desk for now so you can rest your arms at least.”

Makoto nodded, getting back on his feet quickly and carefully stepping over the spilled documents while ensuring nothing else would fall from his arms and burden Hajime. The stack came down on his desk with a heavy thump, huffing out the distinct smell of brand-new printer paper, making Makoto cringe at how the force of it flung a paperclip off the edge of Hajime's desk. He quickly pounced to catch it before spinning around to help with the last of the papers, only to find Hajime already standing with all the papers neatly tucked into the binder, running a hand through his messy brown hair to tame it a little.

“Jeez… sorry about that. Thanks a lot, Hinata-kun.” His shame grew a little more, the red flush crawling up to the tips of his ears as he shyly rubbed his neck, unable to meet the other’s eyes, “I guess I’m just a little unlucky today!”

Hajime’s breath caught in his throat at the last word; an uncomfortable feeling prickling under the collar of his white dress shirt. Suddenly, it was his turn to vehemently avoid eye contact with Makoto.

“Speaking of luck, that’s actually who I wanted to talk to you about!”

Shit.

Hajime wondered if it was too late to pretend that he didn’t hear that – maybe make an excuse to go to the washroom or wiggle out from under his office cubicle like some hyperactive preschooler. Given that his desk was all the way at the back of the fifth floor and near the fire escape, there wasn’t really any way he could inconspicuously slip out and—

And Makoto’s lips were already starting to move again.

“The thing is, that. Um. Komaeda-kun left pretty early today.” Makoto had a look of concern plastered all over his face, but Hajime only looked on, feeling himself unintentionally boring holes into the other with his gaze, “And, well, it’s not like he’s slacking off or anything, because he did finish all his assigned work before leaving, but…”  

“But what?” Hajime tried and failed to leave the irritation out of his voice, feeling a prick of guilt when Makoto’s frame flinched at his tone. He really should show some restraint with the person he considered his boss. After all, it wasn’t like there was anyone else that’d willingly employ a war criminal who helped cause the apocalypse, let alone be kind to them.

“I’m just— I’m just a bit worried about him.” Makoto thoughtfully crossed his arms and leaned against his desk carefully, trying not to put his full body weight on it, although Hajime doubted he weighed enough to even make it creak, “I’m not worried about him slipping into despair again or anything, but it feels like he’s… deteriorating a little? Sometimes I catch him falling asleep at his desk or staring out a window without realizing that I’m there, but that's pretty rare for someone as diligent as him.” His eyebrows furrowed, a rare frown on his expression as he looked away from Hajime, opting for an empty cubicle like it was the most interesting thing in the room.

So, while the irritation drained from him, a knot formed in his stomach at the other’s words instead.

“I’m not asking you to check up on him or anything, Hinata-kun, but I was wondering if you knew what was wrong.” Makoto’s right hand nervously fidgeted with the tip of his black and grey striped tie as he forced himself to make eye contact again, as Hajime smothered the unfamiliar voice picking at the back of his skull droning about how distastefully boring the young man looked. Said man finally met his eyes with an unfamiliar intensity; green on green and red. “After all, you are his partner, aren’t you?”

Hajime swallowed thickly under Makoto’s near-pleading gaze.

It was true that they were partners during field work and even office work a lot of the time, mostly due to the fact that by some miracle, they worked really damn well together. They complemented each other.

The nature of their actual relationship, however, was a whole different case.

Half the time Hajime couldn’t tell what was going on in his head – hell, half the time Hajime was convinced that even during field work, Nagito wouldn’t hesitate to make things more ‘interesting’ if their goals didn’t exactly align. Even at the cost of his own safety, and as a result, their safety – because Hajime wasn’t going to leave ‘trash like him to stew and rot in compost for extra fertilizer’ like he insisted sometimes, even if Hajime did get snappy enough to consider it.

The only reason they hadn’t run into any issues was purely in-thanks to their obligations to the Future Foundation and their strict mission guidelines and procedures.

Nothing more, and nothing less.

So no, he couldn’t meet Makoto’s gaze with confidence. Only a pitiful expression plastered on his face that felt more like an excuse rather than an actual apology. If he’d been partnered up with someone who didn’t hate his guts, maybe he’d have an answer for the other man.

But something changed between him and Nagito ever since they woke up from the rehabilitation program, and Hajime didn’t have the answers for it.

“I’m… sorry, Naegi. I really don’t know what’s up with him.” His hands clenched into fists in his coat pocket, feeling his exhaustion slowly catch up to him. Makoto let out a small, resigned sigh but gathered himself much better than Hajime could give him credit for.

He watched with a mix of surprise and amusement as the shorter man reached his arm upwards to awkwardly pat Hajime’s left shoulder, which should have been a comforting gesture, but Makoto picked up on the embarrassment at their height difference quick enough to retract his arm and slip into a casual demeanor. Very smooth. But, well, it wasn’t like Hajime didn’t embarrass himself half the time.

“It’s alright. I just wanted to ask you just in case,” he carefully looked at Hajime, words a little slow, maybe a little deliberate, as he tried to study his expression for the slightest spark of recognition. “That’s all I really wanted to ask.”

Makoto let a small smile play on his face instead, stepping away from the other to pry the rest of the folders off of Hajime’s semi-cluttered desk. His eyes briefly scanned over it, guiltily taking in all the stacks of paperwork and decorations that littered the desk in a way that was oddly pleasing and organized at a second glance. He’d always known that Hajime was a hard worker; it always showed in his work habits and in the way he’d stay just a little longer to finish up against Makoto’s well wishes for rest, but he’d never quite noticed just how… popular he was.

If it were anyone else, all those gifts might be considered a safety hazard, but Makoto trusted Hajime enough to be responsible with his desk decorations. From small handmade trinkets to miniature plushies, it was clear that they were all bits and pieces of a beloved person; someone who everyone trusted and thought of fondly – and Makoto truly couldn’t ask for more.

His eyes drifted and landed on what looked like a handmade wooden carving in the shape of a small clover painted emerald-green, tacked onto the cubicle wall, and tucked away between a miniature mech and his monitor – obscured as if it were for his eyes only, like he didn’t want others to know it existed, and it would’ve been the case if Makoto hadn’t leaned over the way he did. A small grin came up on his face before he could help it, thinking that maybe those two would be just fine after all.

Just as his classmates trusted him, he would also place his trust in Hajime to do the right thing for his partner, even if he’d be scolded for his naivety.

But really, he mused, that “naivety” could also be considered hope.

“Guess I’m off for the day then, goodnight! Oh, and… I’ll let Byakuya-kun know that you left early because you were feeling sick.” Makoto winked at the other, clutching the papers closer to his chest as he scurried away before Hajime’s confusion could wear off.

A sigh left Makoto like a silent prayer, with only a whisper under his breath.

“Hang in there, Hinata-kun.”  

-x-

His relationship with Nagito was… special, to say the least.

If it wasn’t his condescending words and a cold shoulder behind a plastic smile, it was them butting heads over trivial nonsense.

Thoughts about the lucky man often stirred in Hajime’s mind, winding around his brain like a steel wire and often pulling with a jerk sharp enough to cut when he least expected it. He could pinpoint a few reasons why it hurt him to think about the current state of their relationship but kicking those thoughts under the rug had always been the easier option. It had always been the less infuriatingly frustrating one.

He didn’t need the extra headache of someone like him tampering with his brain. Picking him apart and laying him bare for all he was worth – or rather, what he wasn’t worth. Especially not when Hajime had already learned the truth about how he let others tear him apart for the sake of artificial talent.

It was… still hard to digest.

But he would come to live with it. That’s what he decided.

Because if he doesn't— if Hajime Hinata doesn't come to terms with his choices, he doesn't know how he'll be able to live with himself. And… he has to live. He has to because Makoto and the others fought for them. He has to live, no matter how he really feels, right? There's no real death wish behind his teeth, unless disappearing under mysterious circumstances counts, but living feels like—

…Well, his feelings on the matter just aren't relevant anymore. Not when he has a debt to repay.

A dreary and boring life after giving up his body to escape a very similar kind of dreary and boring life. Except now he had a significantly higher price to pay; one that he’d do anything to give up for those few days of rehabilitation in the program.

It was rather telling that he hadn’t changed when it came to how easy it still was to ‘give up’ parts of his life. But when Hajime really thought about it, it was clear what was truly worth sacrificing. Maybe it was cowardice, or maybe he just longed to feel the nurturing warmth of the sun on his skin again.

His gaze drifted up to the reddened sky as soon as he stepped out of the building – the colour ebbing away into a violet hue with each passing month filled Hajime with a strange sense of hope despite everything; like it was an anchor on reality and fact that time wasn’t just stagnant, even if it felt like it. Everything was changing, for better or for worse.

Hajime pulled his mask up to the bridge of his nose, clutching the leather strap of his shoulder bag a little closer to his body as he started through the city, sidestepping the stray rubble, and keeping a firm foot on the uneven dirt path.

The city was still in shambles; there was no other way of putting it. Broken walls, shattered glass, metal shrapnel and grotesque decay strewn over every ruined inch of the city. Piles of bodies used to replace the flower beds at the side of the road, but the Future Foundation had made it a priority to deal with them first – both out of respect for their families and for the health of everyone still alive.

Identifying the bodies and matching them to names on the registry had been one of the first jobs Hajime and Nagito were assigned aside from their usual patrol, and he could safely say that he never wanted to be assigned to such a task ever again. Nothing had been as difficult as matching bodies to names, and names to whatever remained of their grief-stricken families.

His focus went back on the path ahead of him, the route to his new residence became something his body could follow on autopilot while mangled structures caught in his peripheral vision. Buildings that once housed entire families and warm bodies had the life forcefully ripped out of them, now merely empty rooms and corridors littered with nothing but filth and frags and debris – the aftermath of devastation at the hands of despair.

The feeling of guilt and loss settled back in his throat like acid, humorously thinking about how perhaps the chemicals resting on Tsumiki’s workbench that he’d catch himself pensively staring at far too long would feel similar on his esophagus, but he’d push those feelings down like always. It was hard to trust himself nowadays, and it was even harder not to let Nagito’s scorn and backhanded insults get to him; between the push and pull of trying to believe in himself and knowing that things would never go back to the way they were, there was no way he’d feel anything but exhausted.

The thought that he’d be significantly worse, or rather dead, without the program terrified him – but being plunged into a world drenched in darkness that they were responsible for without warning was nothing short of suffocating anyway.  

Hajime tugged down on his mask to take a deep breath, instantly regretting it when the smog-filled air struck his lungs and had him doubling over in a coughing fit. With tears prickling at his eyes, he could just barely make out the outline of his apartment building just around the corner, picking up his pace a little despite there being no pressure besides the ache in his chest – something other than the smoke lingering in his lungs.  

He was heading home. He should head home; he should head straight to the fifth floor of their residential building without thinking twice about the fourth.

The sound of leather shoes clicked against the glazed ceramic tiles as he stepped into the barren but clean lobby, the residential building being one of the few places actively maintained, as he quickly ripped off his face mask to let clean air soothe him in shaky breaths. Hajime had forgotten how hard it was to breathe the polluted air if you weren’t adjusted for it. After a whole day in a moderately clean and controlled office building, his body didn’t take kindly to sudden changes.

Or maybe those were all just excuses, and maybe breathing in that foul air brought back memories of despair he would rather not have resurfaced. Memories of days past that he would never long for.

Hajime stepped into the elevator and jabbed at ‘four’ without thinking too hard about it.

-x-

The last time he checked, the wristwatch on Hajime’s right hand read twelve ‘o’ clock, and he knew for a fact that Nagito was neither a heavy sleeper nor an early one.

So why was it taking so damn long for the door to open?

He knew that this feeling wasn’t worry, not in the way that it once would’ve been, but he’d be damned before he let the other weigh him down and get in his way when it came to work. Checking up on him would at least calm down the frustration prickling within him; it’d clear things up for Makoto’s sake – after all, he was the one who insinuated that he should check up on Nagito, wasn’t he?

Hajime felt the annoyance bubble within him before the nervousness kicked in, raising his hand to knock a little harder for the sixth time in a row, because he was nothing if not persistent. It isn’t until a silver glint catches his attention from the corner of his eye that he stops in his tracks, suddenly remembering about the spare key under the doormat. It isn’t particularly inconspicuous, but Hajime still remembers it anyway from the night he had to carry the other home, drunk out of his mind.

Sometimes his mind wanders back to that day, but he doesn’t think about the way Nagito didn’t take his eyes off of him for most of the night. He doesn’t think about the way it made his heart stutter and chest burn to have his face so close, warm breath lingering by his ear for not-so-secret whispers – not when things went right back to how they used to be the next morning. A thin deceiving smile and verbal kicks below his belt that were better than Nagito’s usual lashes, but they were kicks, nonetheless.

The corner of the tacky-looking entrance mat is lifted to expose the house key – clean and free of dirt despite being under a mat, but it was typical of the other man to clean each and every corner spotless. It was one of the few things that hadn’t changed since the Neo World Program, as vague but warm memories of Nagito’s cottage filled his head, the smell of fresh linen and household cleaning products still sticking to his mind. The memory of childishly rolling around in Nagito’s bed while they chatted between chores also lingers, although he'd rather it didn't.

He turns the key over in his palm and slides it into the keyhole, feeling his pulse thrum harder in his skull than anywhere else as the key twists.

But the key turned without a click; the door was already unlocked.

Hajime sucks in a sharp breath. Something was amiss, and he couldn’t stand the way it felt.

His left hand reached for the cold metal of the door handle, carefully swinging it open as he steeled himself.

And almost immediately, Hajime was hit with the overwhelming scent of stale citrus as his eyes adjusted to the darkness of Nagito’s living room. He could just barely make out shapes on the ground before him, the light from the hallway pouring in around his cast shadow. It wasn’t until his senses fully adjusted that he saw the state of the room, a sharp breath inhaled through his teeth from the shock of it.  

“What… the hell...?”

Nagito’s passed out body laying before him, on his side and unmoving on the wooden floor of his living room – around him were familiar looking yellow and blue striped drink cans; some stacked, others crumpled or dented, and a single tipped-over can by the leg of the chabudai, a translucent blue liquid spilled out of it in a small but sticky looking dried puddle.

Nothing in this room apart from the half empty bookshelf and the person sprawled out on the ground in front of him was reminiscent of the Nagito he once knew. A peculiar but kind person, who did strange things and spoke of even stranger ideas, but his presence was always warm and comforting. It was always one that was interesting, one that was welcome, one that he would willingly seek out even.

But now the potted plants that he would’ve nurtured with the utmost care back in the program stood by the windowsill withered and dry, gathering dust in the hazy florid moonlight. The books he wouldn’t keep out for more than a day on his desk were strewn carelessly across every surface besides his unmade bed with fitted sheets unraveled.

He always knew that things would never be the same, but now he was certain that the difference ran deeper than he’d imagined. Or perhaps he never really knew the boy to begin with.

With caution lining his every action, he stepped into the room as the uninvited guest he knew he’d always be.

“I… really didn’t take you for the sort to be messy,” Hajime’s face pulled into a frown as he felt himself finally exhale with those words, taking in the room one last time with something like concern settling deep in the back of his mind. He pushed further into the apartment, stepping over empty cans and littered stray work documents until his feet stood mere inches from the other’s head. Perhaps it’s a bit of a personal space violation, but somehow Hajime didn’t think that’d be the other’s first concern. At most he’d probably just be annoying enough to scold him for being rude and not leaving his shoes by the entryway.

“Komaeda, come on. Get off the floor already,” He spoke while looking down at the man in nothing but work pants and a thin loose tee-shirt, Hajime’s own tired and low voice the only sound in the apartment besides the steady hum of the old air conditioner, “Wake up.”

A few seconds passed painfully still. Nothing.

That was… unusual.

“…Komaeda?”

He waits a minute, and then another, before he calls his name again. And then again. Hajime crouches down to the floor, hand reaching out to shake the other’s bare arm, even though he wasn’t a heavy sleeper.

The second his left hand meets flesh he has to fight back the shiver that courses through him in a way he’d never felt before, panic violently striking his chest in its place and knocking the air out of it for a moment because when his left hand meets flesh it’s cold – it’s not supposed to be this cold. Breathing doesn’t feel as easy as it did moments ago when his heart started pounding in his ears. Irrational thoughts fill his head like someone just opened the floodgates. He didn’t even think he could hear the other’s voice in this state with how loud his pulse was.

“K-Komaeda?” He doesn’t bother to hide the overwhelming anxiety creeping into his voice when he jostles the other’s arm, shaking his limp body with it, inching closer to him on his knees, “H-hey… wake up…”

He knows Nagito’s body is cold, but he’s never this cold. He knows that he’s not a heavy sleeper. He knows these things for a fact.

If nothing else, even if whatever had been between them was nothing more than a pleasant daydream that only Hajime begrudgingly held dear between the two of them, he hadn’t forgotten the night they laid side by side on the beach so they could watch the sunset and sunrise together; he hadn’t forgotten the way they’d barely touched yet he could still feel some warmth from the boy next to him. Or that the sound of seagulls squawking overhead were enough to make him bolt upright just as his consciousness started to drift, sudden enough to make them both stare at each other before doubling over in laughter in realization—

“Komaeda—” He cries, outright cries his name when the memory makes his heart ache unbearably.

The fear claws up higher in his chest until it takes hold of his windpipe; he can’t see the mess of white hair as clearly anymore when his vision begins to blur.

Please.

Please, please, please—

Hajime barely registers the feeling of muscle tensing under his grip, but it’s enough to shock him still.

“…Mrmph…?”

For those few moments, he could barely breathe, second guessing himself with every passing moment whether he’d imagined the muffled sound.

All he can do is stare at the form in front of him, slowly but surely unfurling from his position, an arm leisurely splayed out behind him before the rest of him follows by the turn of his hip. When his back touches the cold floor, Hajime even picks up on the way Nagito recoils at the contact. And slowly but surely, as the panic drained from Hajime’s body and got replaced with the burn of embarrassment, Nagito’s eyes fluttered open.

Grey-green met his own eyes with a lopsided and lazy grin, but it was one that was practiced, it was one that wasn’t quite authentic. Nothing was out of place for the other, as usual – and it was only Hajime that ever felt an ocean’s worth of difference between them. His throat suddenly feels far too dry, and the tears that threatened to spill were growing colder on his lower lashes with every passing moment.

“Oh… Hinata-kun, good morning!” Words slurred together but remained light and chipper, as if nothing were amiss; like Hajime hadn’t just been bordering on a breakdown and like whatever the hell was going on in this room wasn’t really happening, “May I ask why you are in my room?”

And Hajime hates the overwhelming feeling of relief that floods through his body, despite seeing how nonchalant he is. He hates how he can never be honest about it with the other without feeling like he’d get ridiculed or dismissed – not anymore at least. It’d be easier to wordlessly blink the mistiness out of his eyes before the other could catch him, but at the sight of the other’s widened eyes, Hajime could tell that he already knew.

“…Hinata-kun?” Nagito lifted his head off the hardwood a few inches without moving the rest of his body to see better, almost disbelieving, before his eyes narrowed again in recognition. Hajime looked away in irritation, face burning like he was being made fun of without a single word being said, “Hahah… were you really that concerned over little old me that you started tearing up?”

God, unintentional or not, the arrogance in his voice really pissed him off.

“Shut up,” He hissed, the aftershocks of his cooling panic making him even more flustered. He wants to blame the smell of citrus for overloading his senses, for making his eyes burn and water. He doesn’t have an explanation for his incessant heart rate besides shame and something else, but the other didn’t need to know that. “Y-you were passed out like you were practically in a coma.”

“Ah… haha… that’s a little like… ‘Koma’, right…?” He melted against him, forehead pressed against Hajime’s knees as his head settled back on the floor with a soft thump, giggling deliriously like it was the funniest joke he’d heard all week; and given their pathetically average daily life, it might as well have been.

But that didn’t mean he had to dignify that with a response, merely narrowing his eyes at the man who was already silent again, staring back up at him with fox-like eyes drowsy with sleep and the curve of a sly smile on his face.

“I came here to check up on you. I would’ve waited for you outside, but you weren’t answering the door.”

“Oh?” The smile grows wider as he drawls out the word, like he’s baiting the other into a trap door, “And was there a special reason for checking up on me all of a sudden? I thought the Ultimate Despai— I mean, the Ultimate Hope, — would be busier than checking up on someone like me.”

Those words don’t sting anymore; and he doesn’t know if he should be grateful or not. For a moment, Hajime contemplates telling the truth, maybe speaking his mind for once, or rather his heart. That it wasn’t just Makoto who noticed how differently he was behaving, and he wanted to know why, but even he wasn’t sure he could trust something as fragile as vulnerability.

He can’t find it in himself to bother with something like that.

“Naegi sent me.”

And Hajime doesn’t catch the way Nagito’s smile falters for half a second, but he does see it strained moments later – lips pressed into a thin line, and it’s no better than plastic when he whispers, “I see…”

A few moments of silence passed before they realized that none of this was going anywhere, that the floor was very cold and very hard and very uncomfortable, and Komaeda Nagito would make absolutely no move to extricate himself from it anytime soon in his sluggish state.

Hajime huffed, shrugging his work jacket off his shoulders, before throwing it on Nagito’s body carelessly. He quietly relishes the jolt and muffled yelp when the jacket collar smacks him across the face, taking relief in the fact that the man couldn’t see the satisfied grin he wore.

Bringing himself lower and looping his arms under the other’s frame, he carefully pried the other’s body off the floor with ease and pulled him closer to his chest, getting another small noise of surprise but none of the resistance he expected. He was practically putty in his arms, and he tried not to think about how cold Nagito’s body still felt, or how irritated he felt at his lack of care.  

“Why are you like this?” Hajime huffed, ignoring the other’s squirms either in an attempt to get comfortable or break free, “What happened to you, anyway?” And why are you so damn cold?

The other’s head tilts curiously, and he must’ve read the brunette’s mind when his next words were, “If my body bothers Hinata-kun that much, maybe he should warm me up?”

His heart couldn’t possibly beat any faster in his chest.

An awkward cough into his shoulder, before sharply nudging the other with his arm, “I’m trying to, but do you mind not phrasing things like that?”

Only to be met with an innocent but devious smile, one that clearly asked, ‘Like what?’

“Whatever.” He mumbles, “So why did you feel so cold anyway? I felt like I was touching a corpse.”

“That’s funny.” Nagito suddenly shifts, a sharp look in his eyes, “Between the two of us, I was certain that you were the one with the least amount of experience touching dead bodies.”

“I…” There’s hesitation, but a clear answer in Hajime’s mind, “Maybe I don’t. But I’m sure he does.” He doesn’t know why he says it, but it slips out nonetheless.

The silence that settles between them lapses into a difficult understanding, layers upon layers of tragedy and loss and despair digging their claws into the moment where it should have been just the two of them. It’s a silence that Hajime still has no idea what to make of when he sees five different emotions flicker behind Nagito’s eyes; each one too momentary to grasp, to decipher – it’s still far too fragile for them to pick apart. It had to remain unspoken. At least for now.

But the expression he finally settles on, even if it was meant to be passive, is one that startles Hajime. If he didn’t know any better, then he’d say that it reads dangerously close to acceptance when he sees a smile that feels significantly less artificial than all the ones before it.

Hajime almost laughs, because only Komaeda Nagito could listen to him admit to his other self very likely committing murder and smile in the face of that fact.

“Also, hmm… perhaps the air conditioning made me feel colder? My shirt? The floor?” The change in topic is less than graceful, it’s jarring even, but Hajime can’t find it in himself to care, instead focusing on the jacket button the other idly fiddled with as he spoke, “It could be many things, but if I had to gander a guess, I would say that I was just relaxed from all the drinks – it’s a change for once.” He quietly adds, “It… helps me.”

“It helps you?” Hajime asks, confused, “How exactly?”

“My, I would’ve thought that you of all people would know. We are quite similar, aren’t we?” Nagito’s lips twist into a stony expression, one that Hajime was familiar with by now but was no less affected by, “It helps me sleep – it helps me stay asleep. And it blocks this world out for longer. Maybe one day it’ll finally do the trick and shut me out for good, but… haha, who knows? I might need something stronger!”

A difficult beat passes through them, making the air feel heavier. Or maybe Hajime was just imagining things now that the real meaning behind Nagito’s words hit him full force. It was ironic, really – even now he still found similarities between them, even after all that’s been said and done. Even after everything has fallen apart.

“Don’t weigh me down at work…” It’s a scalding whisper that escapes Hajime, as if he was afraid to say anything in response in the first place, “You’re my partner.”

“Ah, so Hinata-kun is here just for work isn’t he? And here I thought he was beginning to care about scum like me.”

“…That’s a little unfair, isn’t it?” Hajime says a little louder than before, clenching his jaw as he looks down at Nagito with a carefree expression, “How could you possibly expect someone to care when you make them feel like they’re—” A groan leaves him instead of words, frustrated and tired, “Nothing. Never mind.”

Hajime adjusts himself back onto his feet, still holding onto the other man as he hoists the both of them up, carrying Nagito in his arms as carefully as possible despite the startled noise that sprung from him. Nagito quickly surrenders and melts into the touch, leaning into the warmth of Hajime’s chest and arms as he walks them back to the unmade bed.

He takes a seat beside Nagito on the mattress as soon as he sets him down, observing the contemplative look on his partner’s face and the way he indiscreetly shuffles closer so that their sides would touch. The air conditioning stops rattling pathetically for the first time since he arrived, and the true silence is deafening, maddening even. The hazy light coming in through the dusty windows was an unkind reminder of where they are and who they are. It isn’t long before Nagito finally shifts to face Hajime and breaks the tense silence.  

“Hinata-kun… do you hate me?”

The question catches him off guard and by the throat, nearly knocking the voice out of him. He could laugh. He could seriously laugh – he wished he could stop thinking about Nagito.

“I'd like to ask you the same.”

“Hmm… you’re right.” A hand on his chin and a thoughtful expression that grates on Hajime’s nerves, “I really should hate you, shouldn’t I?”

Hajime felt the irritation flare into anger, even though he should be used to it because it was Nagito he was dealing with. Why even ask? Why bring it up? Just to rub it in his face that things will never go back to the way they used to be when they were friends? Like the Neo World Program was nothing but a dream of play-pretend to him?

He wanted to tell him off for good just this once; shove his body right back onto the cold hardwood floor, and let him kindly know that, no, he shouldn’t feel compelled to hate anyone. Especially not the person meant to be his partner, even if they did only tolerate each other at most anyway.

But Hajime was still there, in his room and holding him in his arms to carry him up to his bed at one o’ clock in the morning. And now, strangely enough, the man who was hellbent on reminding Hajime of ‘his place in the world’ looked at him as if he were the only one left.

“It’s strange. I really should hate you, Hinata-kun. But I can’t bring myself to, even after learning everything about you.”

His body stills for a moment, not fully registering the words Nagito just said, apart from the fact that they felt completely wrong to him.

Felt completely wrong, completely out of touch compared to the way they’ve treated each other since waking up.

Their relationship that was once a friendship close enough to call each other by their first names laced with something unspoken led to this – led to whatever the hell this was, starting from lashing out at each other day after day to scorning words between brief glances that were reminiscent of days past. Like digging into healing gashes just to say that they were alive and undeserving of it, but for what? Just to live out the rest of their lives in misery?

A scoff wanted to leave him, maybe say something out of spite just to get those conflicting feelings out of his system. The slight huff of irritation Hajime let out instead didn’t do much to quell the butterflies in his stomach, and maybe he felt a little pathetic about admitting that.

“Hinata-kun is mad at me…”

Obviously, his brain hisses, but it’s harder to say that when Nagito looks at him like that. As if he genuinely cares about him.

“N-no, I… Look, I’m not mad. Just lie down, will you?”

Nagito looks at him like a child being told to go to bed, but nods all the same, adjusting himself on the bed so that he's still able to cling to Hajime’s waist even while lying down.

The other pats Nagito’s arm twice, nudging him to let go. Nagito only held on tighter, like he was all that kept him afloat.

“Where are you going?”

“I thought I’d tidy up your room a bi—” Hajime suddenly realizes what he said, body twisting back to face the other, “What do you mean, ‘where am I going’? Did you want me to stick around longer?”

“I-I understand if you don’t want to be around trash like me but—”

“Stop that. What do you really want?” Hajime growls, annoyance once again seeping into his voice, “Spit it out, Komaeda.”

Nagito doesn’t answer, and Hajime senses his patience trickling out of him. It’s only when he stands up that Nagito immediately tackles him at the waist to anchor him back down, nearly falling off the bed before Hajime catches him.

“What the hell are you doing?!”

The man doesn’t say anything for another beat, before he squeezes even harder, frame shaking as a trembling voice comes out of him, “You still didn’t answer my question.”

Hajime bites his lip.

“Do you hate me?” He asks quietly, something like fear in his voice even though Hajime knows neither of them should care either way. They really shouldn’t, but Nagito persists, “Do you hate me for all that I’ve done? All that I’ve said?”

He was angry – he was. He’d always feel irritated or worn out or upset or hurt after bickering. And sometimes even livid.

But… did that really mean that he hated him?

“I…”

Wasn’t it simply frustration? Bitterness for the lack of understanding, bitterness for the loss of warmth between them? Could that really be called hatred for the boy– the man in front of him?

“…I don’t.”

Nagito smiles, “I’m so glad…”

Neither of them makes any attempt to move from their position, the smell of citrus in the air assimilated into Hajime’s system and clinging to his clothes with how long he’s been here, probably. Or maybe it was just Nagito’s scent that clung to his body. He doesn’t mind it as much as he initially thought.

“It's so lonely here, Hinata-kun. The sun doesn’t reach me anymore. I haven’t felt it in so long, so I’m glad.” His voice trails off into a whisper, fragile and fond.

Huh?

His eyebrows furrow as he looks up from Nagito, gaze going directly to the windows. Sure enough, he could see the darkest part of the evening sky through the buildings around his apartment. Even if his window wasn’t directly east facing, there would at least be some sunlight in the day.

“That… doesn’t make any sense.” Hajime looks down at him in confusion, “You would get at least some sunlight in your room. I know it’s not as frequent given the smog in the sky but—”

A giggle tore out of the man who suddenly draped his arms around his neck, head pressing against his chest, and they could feel each other’s rhythm; for Hajime, it was Nagito’s childish laughter. For Nagito, it was Hajime’s unsteady heartbeat.

“You may be warm, but you’re not very bright, are you?”

…Of course.

Of course, Nagito would find some way to insult him as usual. The irritation pricked at his chest again, despite it being duller than all the times before, because why did he ever even expect anything to change? Why did he ever have any hope that they would go back to the way they used to be?

Although it really couldn’t anymore.

Not when the other’s arms pulled him down closer, and especially not when Nagito’s lips met him halfway and were suddenly on his own, warm, and just a little needy. Hajime sucks in a sharp breath through his nose from the shock of it all.

Hajime's mind then slows to a crawl, pulse rabbiting in his chest fervently despite him, not even realizing when his lips started moving on their own against Nagito’s. His right hand finds its way into Nagito’s messy and soft white hair, and he’s already melting into him, like nothing had ever changed between them.

Slow. Gentle. Unusually sweet.

The other pulls away an inch, and Hajime desperately wants to chase after that warmth before he catches the look in his eyes.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I… know I don’t deserve this, but I made a mistake. I made a grave mistake by pushing you away.” Nagito whispers with his lips barely grazing the other man’s, voice wavering like he was afraid to shatter whatever remained between them, “If I wanted things to change… would you let me ask for something so selfish, Hinata-kun?”

Hajime’s mind couldn’t process anything but the tearful look in Nagito’s eyes, the depths of his loneliness that seemed never-ending – an abyss with no end in sight but the reflection of Hajime in his eyes. A man who was no different than the one who was pouring his heart out in front of him, except he wasn’t nearly as brave.

“The other night, I had a dream about the two of us. Of the time we were on the beach together and fell asleep beside each other, even though our cottages were nearby,” He laughed, eyes twinkling, “We even asked Usami for permission just in case, but she was already overjoyed at the thought of two classmates bonding in the name of hope.”

Nagito leans his head against his shoulder, speaking quietly, “Hinata-kun, I don’t think you know how many times I’ve had that dream. And how many times I’ve pushed it away. What I thought was hatred was… anger. Anger at you. Anger at the world. Anger at despair. Anger at myself. I don’t know why it took me so long to realize that you were only ever looking towards the future. Even though it’s hard. I… mistook your self-acceptance for dismissal and maybe I was… jealous. Jealous of the way you could move forward like that.

Hajime’s breath hitches at his confession.

“But it’s such a lonely feeling, and I don’t know if I can bear to be alone anymore, even if I—even if I deserve it.”

“I wasn’t sure if you would stay even after I’d said all that earlier but…” Nagito pulls away from his shoulder, looking straight into his eyes in a way that makes him freeze in place, “You really are full of hope, Hinata-kun. Even as a reserve course student.” And there’s no bite this time when Nagito smiles at him, stares into his eyes with something like affection. It’s earth-shattering just how far the pendulum swings in the opposite direction when those same words aren’t full of vitriol.

“Will you stay?”

Hajime felt his heart leap into his throat a third time.

One day he wanted to lay on this very mattress with Nagito, side by side in their work clothes maybe, looking up at the patchy and water-stained white ceiling as if it were a sky draped with stars.

Just like he’d seen with the other before in the program; sea salt and the mild annoyance of sand prickling against their backs and unrestrained laughter and long talks of constellations and even longer tranquil silences between stolen glances.

Just like the night he realized how he felt about the lucky boy.

There was a hesitancy, a fear that came with it regardless of his resolve – a regret that the other would wake up to, and a rejection Hajime wouldn’t be able to stomach. He was only human after all.

But he saw a newfound spark in Nagito’s eyes that drew him in. A fragment of their solace from days of warm breezes, painted bright blue and so unlike the sky they’d opened their eyes to.

Eyes full of something unspoken, and it was something Hajime really wanted to find out.  

“Next time.” He whispered, warm hands squeezing cold ones reassuringly when Nagito’s expression falters, before he could retreat, “If you truly don’t regret this, and… if things can change, then next time.”

There’s a slow nod and a smile; a shy but mutual motion to lace their scarred and imperfect fingers together like they were meant to fit together regardless, and the room that once felt empty feels full of light. And for the first time in a long time, Nagito has hope in his heart again.

“I’ll see you in the morning, Nagito,” Hajime smiles at him, heartfelt and free for the first time since he woke up, “We’ll clean up together, yeah?”

Just like the hope Hajime had taught him about in the program, the one that he awakened; the hope that dwelled in Nagito all along.

[carriedreamerxx]

As I write my original works with my research tabs open and ready for reference once again I realize - good God I overdid it again. Hummmmm

Oh well - hello random government agent assigned to my search history - I am so very sorry you got the shortest straw.

Bugs aren't *that* scary 😂

Huh, maybe my own phobia will get better the more I purposely scare myself with these things - you never knowwwwww.

In all seriousness : Do not look at my search history if you are insect phobic right now.

Buzz.

NOTE: Ladybugs are assholes

Excerpt of CHaSM: Book 1 - "Here we go again"

****

Evelyn didn't say much usually, truth be told the woman barely spoke at all, choosing only to at times catch the eyes of her female companion and from that quiet interaction apparently an entire conversation was to be had with eyebrows and varying sizes of pupils and twitches of the mouth. Ah, one of theseb- right Adam would just have to give them privacy then and focus on someone else.

It was rude to "eavesdrop" after all....even if Evie - err Evelyn did seem a bit...flustered?

Hm, interesting, that wasn't a - oh my god why me go away(!)- flustered either - Adam was err... unfortunately ( or fortunately) quite familiar with the latter.

Zari nodded sagely just then, with an affirmative, mmhm, before her own dark eyes flitted over to him and - aw shit he was caught- that little nurse with a bite was going to chew him out later and fuck man, when Zari was pissed at you it was just like being scolded by both your fifth grade teacher and a damn drill sergeant.

Ugh, his life was going to be hell. Kyle threw him a sympathetic glance but also made no moves to rescue Adam from his predicament.

Traitor.

See if Adam smoothed over the next couples spat when Collin vents to him on patrol later.

Footsteps interrupted him and a shadow loomed and...oh.

That would do it.

"Mr. Caputo I presume? I hear you were part of the security detail last night- can you tell me how a restricted area was left open for a civilian to wander in?" Crisp. Polite.

But seething .

Second Class Science officer Noah Harrison* stared down on Adam like a gnat he was about to crush in his fingers and the developing black and blue splosh around his right eye probably didn't help Adam's case.

Noah...had always kind of been a bit of a... Peacock honestly. He was not going to like the fact his face was "blemished" because Adam had been well... A moron.

(again)

So being the man with common sense ( no really he was - don't listen to the haters ) - he gave the officer a smart salute.

"yes sir - I have absolutely no idea what happened I was on the midnight shift I had only just clocked in two minutes before the incident occurred therefore this is not my fault - sir!" He beamed.

Not a hundred percent a lie...

But not enough to fool this particular science officer because oh had that eyebrow had begun to twitch.

"Sir." Both men paused, Noah especially seemed to stiffen at Evie's approach. "It really wasn't his fault, I got turned around, this place is huge, I haven't gotten my bearings yet." She hugged her arm, still bandaged. "Adam was just trying to help me get back." "

Noah frowned more, "And why, Miss Noire were you even out at that hour?"

"Because I prefer the night. It's quiet. Sorry it won't happen again, just don't chew Adam out he didn't do anything wrong, the door was already open when he found me anyway."

"You're sure?"

"Do I look like the type to go poking around restricted areas for fun?" She countered.

"...no." Noah mumbled before puffing his shoulders, "Regardless, Miss Noire- I have to ask that you stay away from restricted areas from now on, they are...off limits for a reason!"

"Well maybe whoever designed this glorified sardine can should have thought of that before putting a door so close to the damm library!"

"Gee you think." Adam muttered but he was ignored. Rude but story of his life.

The standoff was on and all the setting needed was a piece of tumbleweed to drift past the two of them as they continued just glaring at each other.

Then again, he also didn't exist at the moment, oh no the whole world had melted away, leaving nothing but the young woman currently glaring at Noah Harrison* with that frigid "Evie" stare that had clearly frozen the man in place.

"You...have a point." The officer finally mumbled again before clearing his throat. "Right well... Mr. Caputo while your methods were unorthodox they got the job done so I won't be telling the Captain about this."

Adam jumped, "Wait you're not?!"

"I don't see a reason to, it was a close call but it was also entirely at the fault of the ship and whoever was last down there, they didn't follow safety protocol." He scowled. "Which I will take care of right now, excuse me." His voice lowered and Adam felt the hairs at the back of his neck stand up though the firm grip on his arm kept him from tumbling down like a dope though, at least he could be petrified with dignity. Huh for being a terrifying stick in the mud at least Noah wasn't a jerk. Good to know.

Satisfied Adam wasn't going to end up up a sad puddle on the ground Noah turned to Evie now.

"Miss Noire, I'm glad to see you unhurt." He murmured. "But next time you find you've lost your way around the sardine can... Come find me instead. Unlike Mr. Caputo, I have a sense of direction." He nodded in her direction before turning on his heel and just striding away.

Okay never mind he's still a jackass.

Didn't matter though, oh Adam saw that pretty clearly in that moment.

And tch...

Here we go again...

***

Notes:

*: Harrison is a placeholder last name

[raibebe]

Love Is On Air

Genre: fluff & smut Words: 8.722 Prompt: radio host Johnny x secret admirer female reader Warnings: soft dom Johnny, oral (f receiving), safe sex, dirty talk

A/N: Finally: My entry for the February event of my lovely network @neosmutcollective​. This is totally not the fic I planned on writing. In fact this was started way later after I realized I was never going to finish my original fic on time. Not that this one is on time... Special thanks to everyone who sent our lovely DJs some music recommendations @sly-merlin​, @moonctzeny​, @lenaluvs​, @lucas-wongs​, @burtonized​ and to @ncteaxhoe​ who helped me figure out this idea. I hope you enjoy this even though it’s wayyy too late.

You hurried home to your apartment after your last class of the day that was horrifically late because of whoever had fucked up your schedule this semester. Panting heavily, you busted into your room and threw your jacket and backpack somewhere onto your couch, diving straight for your laptop that was perched on your desk. Cursing the old thing, you waited for agonizing minutes until it had booted up and your browser was open. You quickly opened the familiar page of your university’s campus radio just in time to hear the familiar voice saying: “Hi I’m John-D, welcome to NCT Night Night.” After that both hosts chuckled lowly before Jaehyun spoke: “Tonight we’ll read some of the letters you wrote us over the week again and we will try our best to help you out with whatever problems you throw our way.” “Exactly. Right after we play this song that was suggested by evangelie_99 over on our Twitter, it’s Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County and she said that she loves our show. We’re glad you like it so much, darling. This one is for you,” Johnny softly said before the soft tunes of the song filled your little one-room apartment.

Sighing, you leaned back in your chair, carelessly toeing your shoes off. Listening to NCT Night Night was your escape at night from the stress that classes brought you. The two DJs that were on air every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday were your favorites though. Not only did they have great chemistry but they both could be incredibly funny as well as soothe all your nerves with their calming voices – especially Johnny or John-D as he was called on their show. You might have developed a slightly embarrassing crush on the fratboy with a heart as sweet as his voice from what you knew about him from his radio shows and your shared classes. Since they had started their weekly segment where they would read out letters that students could send them, you had gathered the courage to send Johnny little messages about how you were crushing on him and it had quickly become a running gag on the show. Jaehyun would tease Johnny about it every week while Johnny kept insisting that his secret admirer should just talk to him. But how could you do that? Johnny was everything one could want in a boyfriend. Not only was he ridiculously tall and devastatingly handsome but he was also smart, always seemingly staying on top of his classes and he also went to the gym regularly if his thirst traps on his Instagram stories were anything to go by. When he wasn’t giving out advice in a gentle voice on their radio program, he was out partying with his frat brothers on the weekends more often than not complaining about headaches on their Sunday show. How could you just walk up to him and talk to him? Right. You couldn’t. So you had to resign to sending him anonymous love letters through his radio show.

“Welcome back, hi,” Johnny chuckled once the song had gently faded out and you couldn’t help but giggle along. “That was Pluto Projector by Rex Orange County,” Jaehyun tried to stay on script but you could almost hear the grin on his face because of Johnny’s antics, “If you want your song to play on today’s show, please suggest something over on our Twitter with the hashtag,” Jaehyun paused momentarily and let out a dramatic sigh before continuing, “hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin.” Jaehyun hadn’t even read the whole hashtag out loud when Johnny was already bursting out in laughter and how could you not laugh along with his melodic laughter. “I swear to god I am never letting you choose hashtags for our show ever again,” Jaehyun groaned while Johnny sounded like he was still dying in the background. “Don’t be mean to me Jaehyunie,” he whined and even though today’s episode was not viewable, you could vividly imagine how he was pouting. While the two friends were busy bickering and talking about what they had done since their last show, you pulled up your own Twitter to send a recommendation in.

“Aaaah, I see we’re already getting plenty of suggestions. Sly-merlin suggested us Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato – a great song – and added ‘I wish John-D would actually play me like a violin.” After a potent silence, Johnny broke out in laughter again. “And this is why you won’t choose any more hashtags,” Jaehyun groaned again. “Baby,” Johnny rasped into his mic and even though you weren’t wearing headphones, it sent tingles down your spine, “Just come to our frat party on Friday and I’ll see what I can do.” “Stop plugging our parties on the radio,” Jaehyun scolded the elder, the slap audible over the radio, “Also sly-merlin has to stand in line. You still have your number one admirer who has sent in a letter yet again.” “She still hasn’t come up to me,” Johnny shared, “I can only keep up my chastity for so long. I am saving myself for this girl.” You know he was joking but you were just a simple woman and even in your secluded home, you felt heat rising to your cheeks, your thumbs stopping on your keyboard where you had typed out your song recommendation. Both DJs shared a quiet laugh before Jaehyun asked: “And you really don’t know who she is?” “I really don’t man,” his friend sighed, “Like I have my suspicions because she has to be in my major if she sees me in class that often. That or she’s a stalker which I do not want to think about. But for real, hit me up. I’ll take you out for a coffee.” “Now everyone is going to come up to you and claim that they’re her.” “I’ll take that risk,” Johnny laughed, “Maybe I’ll finally meet the love of my life and settle down.” At that Jaehyun snorted loudly. “The woman that can make you settle down gets free coffee for like a month from me.” “Watch me have a wife and kids at 25 Jae, just to spite you,” his friend snorted, “But up until then, let’s play sly-merlin’s song recommendation: Sexy Dirty Love by Demi Lovato.”

While the song was playing, you finished up your own tweet and hit post before you grabbed your bag that you had carelessly thrown away before to get out your notes. You actually had to start a project for one of the classes you and Johnny actually did share. The professor had announced that he would announce the pairings for a group project tomorrow and you didn’t want to seem like an actual idiot if your group would decide to already meet up and discuss after class. So while you listened to your favorite DJs discuss the questions and worries of whoever had sent them to their email address, you worked through the notes you had taken over the last couple of weeks, trying your best to organize them to remember the key points.

“Oh John-D, I have a very special letter here,” Jaehyun said, waving the paper in front of the microphone so it would pick up the wiggling noises. “What could that be?” Johnny asked with over-exaggerated interest. “It’s from your secret admirer, John-D. So I think you should read it out.” Just like every time, they read your letter, your heart began beating faster and faster in your chest until you were sure, it would break free from your ribcage. “Okay, here I go,” Johnny announced while Jaehyun was playing the same cheesy music he always played when they were reading your letters, “Happy Thursday, John-D. The weekend is almost in reach, keep up the energy for the last day of classes! – she’s so sweet, I’m holding up alright – One of my professors will announce the pairings he made for a group project soon and I am nervous. I don’t have many friends in the course and I’m praying that I will get good group mates I can work well with.” “Oooh, I get that struggle,” Jaehyun interrupted, “I once had to work with a bunch of stoners and ended up doing all the work for a presentation that made up 30 percent of my grade. Worst experience of my life, would not recommend. But we’re wishing you all the luck.” “But you know what’s more interesting about this story?” Johnny tuned in, “Coincidentally my professor for my literature class is assigning our group projects tomorrow as well. Say, my sweet admirer, are you perhaps in the same literature class as me?” In your otherwise silent room, the panicked squeak you let out was loud even to your ears. There was no way Johnny could figure out who you were, there were probably at least 20 more girls with a crush on him in that class alone, so you were safe. “Oooh, so maybe she’s a lit major so that’s why she’s writing love letters.” “Could be but lots of people from different majors are taking that class,” Johnny argued, “Anyways, back to her letter. But I won’t let that disturb me! I will be doing my best regardless! – That’s the spirit – I’ll work through my notes as I listen to your honey voice so I can be prepared. I’m glad you don’t do viewable radios on Thursday’s or else I wouldn’t be able to get anything done, you’re just too distracting John-D,” at that Jaehyun let out a fake gag while Johnny just giggled softly, “Thank you secret admirer, I do clean up quite nicely if I do say so myself. – On last Sunday’s episode you melted my heart when you hid in your hoodie for half the show. – God that was the worst hangover I had in a looong while, I was so miserable.”

“You should have seen him at home,” Jaehyun laughed, “I had to physically drag his whole 180-something-centimeters body first into the shower, then into the car and into the station. He is the biggest crybaby when he’s hungover.” “Don’t expose me like that, Jaehyunie,” Johnny whined loudly, “I was dared to drink a bunch of tequila and my mother didn’t raise neither a quitter nor a coward.” “No, but clearly an idiot,” the younger DJ laughed his deep laugh. “Let me read my love letter in peace,” the other grumbled, “I couldn’t follow for half the show because I was so focused on watching you. Not in a creepy way of course! – Of course not,” Johnny chuckled, “I hope you finished that essay you had to work on after the show in time and still had some time to relax. – I did, don’t worry.” That you already knew when Johnny had handed in his essay in another class you two shared just before you had handed in yours and he had thrown you a little smile that had kept you going through the whole day. “Take care of yourself and keep smiling your beautiful smile, I look forward to seeing you again on Sunday or in classes. And fighting to Jae-D as well of course! – I look forward to hearing from you again, secret admirer. I bet your group project will go just fine, don’t worry too much. If anyone is mean to you, just expose them here and we’ll fight them for you.” “Love that she acknowledged me in one sentence as well,” Jaehyun grumbled, cutting off the cheesy music abruptly. “You’re just jealous you don’t have a sweet admirer who sends you cute messages,” the other teased his friend. “Yeah, yeah, shut up and put that letter in the box under your bed.” “It’s in my sock drawer, thank you very much.”

Giggling, you listened to the two friends bicker, your chest warm with a feeling you were scared to put a name on. “Anyways, I think it’s time for another music recommendation you can still send in via our lovely hashtag JohnDplaymelikeaviolin. This one is from lenaluvies and she says: Please play Hurts So Good by Astrid S thank you. No, thank you for sending something in darling. This one’s for you,” Johnny announced and you couldn’t help but laugh a little pained laugh. That song title hit a little too close to home for your liking. The rest of the radio show went by smoothly and Johnny and Jaehyun tried to help a handful of more students with their problems that couldn’t be more diverse. From a boy who had fallen in love with his best friend which had send him into an identity crisis over to a girl who was failing her classes because she claimed the professor hated her to a freshman who wanted to apply for a fraternity but was scared because of the rumors surrounding them which the DJs quickly debunked since they both were in the same fraternity. In the end they had to cut themselves short, asking their viewers to vote on a poll they would make if people wanted a whole Tuesday episode surrounding fraternities.

“So.” “So,” Johnny copied his friend. “We’re almost at the end of our time with you guys. We couldn’t get through all of your submissions but we hope our team picked a few good ones and at least some of you could get some advice.” “As always you’re free to send us your own stories to our e-mail JohnJaeNNN@NCTU.com to get some advice next Thursday from your favorite DJs: John-D.” “And Jae-D. Every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday on your campus radio on 127mHz. On NCT-“ “Night Night,” they said their ending together and just like every night with them, you said goodnight to your computer screen, closing the tab which draped your little apartment in silence. Sighing loudly, you looked over your notes that needed a little more work if you wanted to make a good first impression on your fellow students tomorrow. Because you couldn’t stand the silence, you opened your Spotify to play the NCT Night Night playlist Johnny and Jaehyun had made with the songs that had been recommended to them, still missing the new additions from tonight.

The next morning found you in your literature class, sitting two rows behind Johnny, staring at the back of his head while doodling on your paper rather than taking notes on whatever the professor was saying. If you were to let your eyes wander, you’d see that almost everyone in the big room was paying as much or even less attention as you were; the students in different states of excitement and anxiety over the group projects he had yet to announce. “I’m sorry professor,” Johnny’s voice suddenly cut through the room, “I’m sure you have already noticed that no one is paying attention to whatever you’re trying to teach us right now. Could you please just announce the groups for the project?” That moment you swore you would be able to hear a pin drop until your eccentric professor chuckled lowly. “I like you, Suh. I was waiting for someone to mention it,” he spoke, getting the dreaded list out of his bag, “Listen closely now, you’ll be assigned in groups of four and each group will get a specific novel to work on. Deadline will be by the end of the semester and your individual paper combined with the group presentation will make up 40% of your final grade.” That made a bunch of people, including you, gasp out loudly. A group project with this much credit to your final grade was always dreaded. “I don’t want to hear any complaints, that’s how it’s always been. Now listen carefully, I won’t repeat myself but the list will be hung on our blackboard as well.” With that being said, the professor began listing names and novels in the most monotone voice he could muster. To say you were basically vibrating off of your seat was an understatement when he got further and further down the list and neither yours nor Johnny’s name had been called yet. “And lastly, an all-time favorite: Romeo and Juliet.” You didn’t even register anything else after the professor had announced that the group featured both Johnny and you along with two other students you didn’t know. Your brain was reduced to static noise while everyone else was getting up around you to pick up the books that had already been stacked in a corner, probably by a poor TA. Only when a person bumped into you, you broke from your stupor to quickly pick up your stuff as well to hurry down to steps to where a crowd of students had already gathered.

Luckily Johnny towered over most of the other students and you could easily spot him and the rest of your group that were two other boys you didn’t recognize. “Hey, you’re the last one we were missing,” Johnny smiled and handed you over your copy of the book. “Y... Yeah, sorry for making you wait,” you stuttered, clutching the small book tightly in your hands. “No big deal,” Johnny played it off, “Do any of you have any more classes today?” When everyone declined, you all agreed that you should get a head start on your project as it would be hard to make a good project out of such an overused love story. While walking over to the student center to decide on a concept, conversation flowed easily between the four of you even though you were still really nervous to be around Johnny. God, you really hoped he didn’t think you were stupid or something just because you were nervous.

The little study session went by in a blur and only further confirmed that you were so whipped for Johnny it wasn’t even funny anymore. You found yourself attentively listening to all of his ideas and laughing at every of his stupid little jokes and only mildly spacing out while looking at Johnny when the others were discussing ideas which had led to one or two mildly embarrassing situations where you would lose track of what you were actually discussing, your mind blank of any input when they asked for your opinion.

Soon you found yourself parting ways with your groupmates, leaving you and Johnny alone because his frat house and your little apartment were located in the same general direction. “Anything fun you’re doing this evening?” Johnny asked, trying to make some light conversation to fill the silence. “No, I’ll just binge watch some shows maybe or listen to the campus radio,” you shrugged it off. While today’s show wasn’t your favorite, you quite liked the DJs soft and gentle voice. “You listen to the campus radio? I have a show on there,” Johnny smiled. “I like listening to you and Jaehyun,” you confessed, trying to fight the heat that was licking at your cheeks. “Oh.” “You seem surprised.” “Yeah, it kind of still seems weird that people enjoy listening to Jae and me rambling for hours on end. You know with him it just feels like I’m hanging out with my brother rather than work.” “Your voices are really soothing, you know,” you tried to explain what you were feeling when listing to them, “And your friendship is kind of adorable. Like we can feel how much you care about each other and you always genuinely try to help your listeners without making fun of them.” For a while Johnny didn’t say anything and you thought you had fucked it up, that he thought you were weird now. “Thank you,” he suddenly said. “Huh?” “It means a lot hearing that. We do lurk on Twitter to see what people think of our show but hearing it like this is something else entirely.” “It’s nothing,” you mused, playfully hitting his arm, “No need to get this soft.” “Hey,” he laughed, “I’ll have you know that I am 180 centimeters of walking softness despite what people might say about me.” Smiling softly you caught his eyes for the first time since you two had started walking and the way his honey eyes were smiling back at you momentarily took your breath away.

“I- My room is right around here, sooooo,” you stuttered. “It was nice working with you. Even though you were spacing out half the time,” Johnny teased, “Thinking about a special someone?” You. The word sat on the tip of your tongue, the low light of the afternoon sun making you bolder than you actually were and Johnny just made you feel incredibly comfortable. “No... No- I- I’m single.” “A crush then?” “Something like that,” you mumbled, your fingers nervously playing with the hem of your jacket. “Talk to him. Or her. Or them,” Johnny advised. “I really can’t,” you sighed, “He doesn’t even know I exist.” “Well you don’t need to confess your undying love for him,” he laughed, not knowing he was the boy in question, “Just you know. Casually talk to him. Get to know him.” “I’ll try?” “Is that a question?” “Yeah?” “Have more confidence in yourself,” he gently nudged you, “You’re nice and very easy to talk to.” “Nice... Wow.” “Shut up,” he laughed, “I usually give better compliments but I have yet to get to know you better.” “Would you... Would you even want that?” “Sure,” Johnny shrugged and your heart skipped a couple of beats, “I have to get going or everybody will already be drunk when I arrive. So... I’ll see you in class? And you’ll hear me on Sunday?” “Yeah sure. Don’t drink too much or you will be miserable all show like last week,” you giggled. “Don’t remind me,” he groaned, “I’m never going to drink tequila on a Saturday ever again.” “Goodbye Johnny,” you smiled, really liking how his name sounded when you said it out loud. “Bye,” he waved before going his way.

Once you were sure he was out of hearing distance, you let out a little happy squeak and jumped up and down excitedly. You did it. You had actually done it. You had talked to your crush. And managed to not make a complete fool out of yourself in front of him. Which was a win in your books. A huge win. With a little spring in your steps, you stepped by one of your favorite pizza places to treat yourself before heading home where you spend your evening daydreaming about none other than Johnny while watching reruns of old dramas.

“Hi, I’m Jae-D.” “And I am John-D. Welcome to NCT-“ “Night Night.” “John-D.” “Yes, Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled. “It’s Thursday again which means it’s time to tend to our listener’s worries,” Jaehyun read off of the script, not getting distracted by his friend’s antics, “And today is a very special episode.” “Special?” Jaehyun barely repressed to roll his eyes at his friend’s over-exaggerated acting before continuing: “Yes, since tomorrow is a day off for all students, we have decided to make this episode extra lengthy and-“ he shortly stopped to flash the camera a peace sign, “Viewable despite it being Thursday.” “Do we look okay?” Johnny laughed, checking himself out in the video that was playing on one of their monitors. “Aaaaah, the comments say we look good tonight, thank you,” Jaehyun mused.

And they really did. Not that either of them had to do a whole lot to look good but today they were both wearing white button-downs with their sleeves rolled up to expose their forearms. Jaehyun had even gone so far as to put on some fake glasses. “And if you’re following us on our Twitter you also already know that this week it’s all about love on our campus radio and our show today is no exception,” Johnny read his part of the script. “Today John-D and Jae-D are Loveholics, trying our very best to help you with your problems surrounding love,” Jaehyun completed, “You can send in song recommendations through the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic just like taryn1026 did – I hope I said that right – but they recommended Paris in the Rain by Lauv to set the mood for today.”

The soft tunes of the song made you relax a little into your sofa where you had chosen to watch today’s episode of NCT Night Night. You had to say that you were kind of nervous for today’s episode. Just like every week you had written your letter to Johnny, telling him about your week and cheering him on for your group project. At this point it should have been pretty obvious just who exactly you were and judging by how Johnny was acting towards you, his flirting leaving you flustered after your study sessions and your group mates mildly annoyed, he seemed to already have put together the pieces. But yesterday while writing your letter you had felt extra bold (and maybe also extra riled up and horny from Johnny’s shameless flirting) and had written him a message that should confirm all his suspicions and would hopefully lead him straight to you and into your bed. But until the end of the show or at least until they read your letter, which you really hoped they did today as well, you had to wait sitting in your apartment, for once not in comfortable clothes but in a nice shirt and pants.

“That was Paris in the Rain by Lauv, recommended to us by taryn1026 through our Twitter with the hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Johnny’s raspy voice filled your apartment when he leaned close to the mic, “Jae-D are you ready to make some love happen?” “I already had my love juice,” Jaehyun answered, showing his pink Starbucks drink to the camera, “And my reading glasses are on.” As to prove his point, he hiked his glasses up his nose before scratching his eye through the holes in the frame, making both DJs chuckle. For the next hour Johnny and Jaehyun tried to solve several relationship dramas as well as a very tricky friends-with-benefits situation and telling a boy to break up with his cheating girlfriend which had been a rather heartbreaking discussion. “So after this,” Jaehyun sighed, “Let’s play another song recommendation. Burtonized has sent in a very fitting song, I hope you all don’t mind a little Korean: It’s God Damn by I.M – a song about heartbreak.”

While the foreign song was playing, the two DJs stretched their backs and sipped on their respective drinks: Jaehyun still on his pink sugar concoction and Johnny already on his second iced Americano. Jaehyun must have found something funny on his phone, nudging his friend to look at him but Johnny was busy typing away on his own, only acknowledging his friend after he had typed his message. Just after that, your own phone buzzed with a message, showing Johnny’s name on the screen.

From: Johnny Are you watching our show?

To: Johnny Sure, you look good today

From: Johnny Make sure to listen closely ;)

“That was God Damn by I.M suggested by burtonized over our Twitter hashtag JohnJaeLoveholic,” Jaehyun’s smooth voice tore you from your spiraling thoughts about the winking face Johnny had sent. “Sadly our show is coming to an end even with our extended airtime.” “But John-D a very important letter is still missing before we close our show. Dare I say it could be the highlight of our show,” Jaehyun joked, already playing the cheesy music he was always playing when Johnny would read your letters. “You’re right Jae-D my lovely secret admirer has sent in another letter,” Johnny mused, arranging himself so he could read the printed out letter while being as close as possible to the mic for it to pick up the rasp in his voice, “Happy Thursday John-D, I hope your week has been more exciting than mine. I have just been going from class to class without much thought, the only high points are my group meetings for the group project we have to hand in soon – That seems very familiar, baby – But since today is all about love, I’ll tell you about a little problem I have: – get your love juice ready, Jae – There is this boy in my group. And boy isn’t really the right word to describe him, he’s a man really,” at that Johnny couldn’t hold back a low chuckle, “I’m sorry, I’ll be serious – And he is flirting with me. Has been for a couple of weeks now. And it has gotten to the point where our groupmates are kind of annoyed at us. He has also walked me home a couple of times but he never so much as touched me. At this point I am so frustrated with him. Is he just playing with me? Or is his mouth bigger than his actions actually are? He has been riling me up all day today and I was ready to let him have his way with me but he only wished me goodnight and left again, leaving me to deal with what he had done all by myself – oh wow, I,” Johnny stuttered, sharing a gaze with his friend who was only barely repressing his laughter, “Wow, okay, I hope we’re in the good for reading this out and it’s late enough,” clearing his voice and raking a hand through his hair, Johnny continued, “John-D I hope this man hears what he has done to me and will deal with the consequences of his actions. Would you play Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL for me? Just in case this letter hasn’t gotten my point across? – Y... Yeah sure, darling. We’ll play that once our show is over.”

“So John-D,” Jaehyun grinned while loudly slurping on his ‘love juice’, “What would you advice your secret admirer to do about this problem?” “Well if I were her,” Johnny started, his gaze going straight to the camera where he knew you were watching and it felt like he was looking straight into your soul, “I’d wait for him. I’m pretty sure he can prove that his actions speak even louder than his words.” For a while it was quiet between the two DJs, safe for Jaehyun’s obnoxiously loud slurping noises but even if they would have been saying anything, you weren’t sure if you could have comprehended any words with how furiously your heart was beating. “Anyways,” Jaehyun eventually broke the silence once he was sure there was nothing left in his ‘love juice’, “I’m afraid that was it for tonight. This has been your extra lengthy episode of Jae-D and John-D and we will leave you with this wonderful song recommendation: Animal by Jin Yosef and RIELL. If you’ve liked today’s show, we’re here every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday night on your campus radio on 127mHz to listen to all of your worries on NCT-“ “Night Night,” Johnny joined in and they both waved into the camera as your song of choice started playing. The video stream didn’t cut off immediately, showing the boys gathering their things and if your eyes weren’t betraying you, you swore you saw Johnny tense up when the song turned a little more explicit. The two DJs waved to the camera one last time before the stream cut off, leaving the screen of your laptop dark.

That was when it dawned on you what you had done. Shit. With how Johnny had sounded, you probably had about fifteen to twenty minutes until he would be at your doorstep. Oh god. Shit. Taking a couple of deep breaths, you tried to ground yourself before hurriedly closing your laptop and cleaning everything that seemed messy in your little one-room apartment. That was until you heard a knock on your door.

With shaky hands, you slowly opened the door and while you knew who would be standing on the other side, you weren’t ready for how he was going to look like: Johnny was leaning against the doorway casually with his arms crossed over his chest so the tight button-down he was wearing would strain over the planes of his chest muscles but what really reeled you in was how dark his eyes looked when he raked them over your body. “Good evening miss,” he drawled. “Hi,” you breathed. “Tell me what you want so I’m not misinterpreting any of this,” Johnny all but growled, one of his hands coming up to cup your face. “I want you to have me.” If you thought his eyes were dark before, they turned into bottomless black orbs once the words had left your lips. “You don’t know what you’re asking for, baby.” “Please,” you whimpered and that seemed to break Johnny’s resolve as he pulled you close to him and all but crashed his lips into yours. The kiss wasn’t delicate in any way, shape or form with how Johnny was licking into your mouth the second a moan left your lips. His tongue was intertwining with yours messily and in no time both of you were panting into each other’s mouths. “Inside. Now,” you rasped. “All with due time,” Johnny chuckled but let you pull him into your apartment, slamming the door shut to crowd you against it, one of his strong thighs slipping between your legs like it belonged there, “If you’re a good girl and listen well, I’ll give you anything you want.” “Fuck,” you cursed before slamming your lips together again, a new neediness bleeding into the kiss as you tugged on the longer strands of hair at the back of Johnny’s neck which made him growl lowly. “Anything off-limits?” Johnny breathed into your skin as he kissed down your neck to suck a mark there while his hands were busy pulling your shirt from your pants so he could rake them over your naked skin. “Just,” you had to cut yourself off with a moan, “Don’t be mean to me.” “Never,” he promised, “You’ll be my pillow princess.” His sweet words were in stark contrast to how hard his hands were gripping your hips and how his teeth were grazing over your neck that must be littered with marks already. “Take me to bed,” you heaved breathlessly, positive your legs would give out if it wasn’t for Johnny holding you up.

Listening to your demand, he slowly started walking you backwards towards your bed until the two of you were toppling down on top of the covers, his lips never leaving your skin. Whoever had spread the rumors about Johnny being a great lover had been absolutely right, he knew just how to touch you to have you gasping for air and judging by the grin on his lips he hadn’t even started yet. “Please,” you whimpered, arching into his touch, not exactly sure what exactly you were asking for but Johnny seemed to know all the better when he freed you from your top and pants to leave you in your matching lace set while he was still fully clothed in his by now wrinkled button-up and pants. “All for me?” He chuckled and pressed a kiss right between the valley of your breasts, his big hands cupping the soft flesh to squeeze it gently. “Have me,” you gasped out and you could feel the growl he let out vibrating where you were pressed together. “I’m going to ruin you,” Johnny promised, pulling down the cups of your bra to wrap his plush lips around one of your nipples to tease the soft nub until it hardened under his ministrations, sending waves of pleasure down your spine and straight to your core where you could feel your wetness starting to seep into the fabric of your panties. “Johnny,” you mewled and arched into his every touch, his calloused fingertips setting your skin alight when he let them travel down your body to tease over your lower stomach. As if by reflex, you let your thighs fall open for him to finally touch you where you needed him the most. “Such a good girl,” he smiled, blowing cold air over your spit-slicked nipple to watch you squirm beneath him. Your remark got stuck in your throat when he finally cupped you through your panties, feeling how damp the fabric had already become. “Naughty,” he chuckled, his eyes never leaving your face as he circled your clit through the fabric, watching your eyes fluttering shut when his gaze became too intense.

“Johnny,” you sighed, forgetting all other words except for his name. “Relax, princess,” he rasped and kissed his way down your body, leaving love bites on the sensitive skin of your stomach and thighs that shook with anticipation. If you’d say you hadn’t dreamed about his lips on you like this, you would lie and you weren’t going to miss the sight of this for nothing. Fighting back the fog that had started to cloud your mind, you forced your eyes open to look down to where he had settled between your open thighs to find him staring right back at you. “Good girl,” he praised you again before pressing a kiss over your clothed sex that made your head fall back already, the anticipation of what was to come making you push up your hips which made Johnny chuckle lowly. He didn’t leave you any time to feel embarrassed by how needy you were when he hooked your panties to the side unceremoniously and licked a broad stripe up your center, tasting your arousal. “Oh fuck,” you breathed out, your hands flying down to tangle them in the long strands of his hair. Johnny worked his tongue in slow and clever strokes, leaving your mind reeling with pleasure and taking his time to take you apart piece by piece, not even paying attention to your leaking center or your aching clit. But when he did wrap his lips around your clit to gently suck on the nub, your mind almost went numb with how intense his touch was, your thighs clamping shut around him. To make it even worse, he started humming around you while prying your thighs back open, holding you down with his large hands. You felt your orgasm approach almost embarrassingly fast now that he was altering between teasing your clit with his tongue, lips and even his teeth and fucking your velvety walls with his tongue, setting your nerve endings on fire. “Johnny I’m close,” you warned him but instead of slowing down, he stretched his jaw wide to press his tongue further into you, his nose bumping into your clit in the process and with the combined sensation and his doubled effort, it took no time for your first orgasm of the night to wash over you, a scream of his name leaving your lips as you shook through it, your mind going equally as numb as your legs.

When you came back to it, Johnny had straightened up between your legs and he was grinning down at you while he was unbuttoning his shirt, his face still shiny with your arousal. “That was the first one,” he spoke darkly. “Come here,” you whined, making grabby hands for him until he took pity on you and covered your body with his before connecting your lips in a bruising kiss. You could still taste yourself on his lips but that somehow just made it even hotter.

“Want you inside me,” you panted against his lips when Johnny broke the kiss in favor of raking his teeth over your racing pulse. “Yeah?” He rasped and ground his hips down into yours, making you feel him strain against the fabric of his pants. “Need it,” you moaned at the sweet friction. “Think you can take me?” He laughed as he leaned back on his hunches to pop open the button of his pants, pulling down the zipper agonizingly slow. With wide eyes you watched him push his pants down his narrow hips, leaving him in just his navy boxers that showed the sizable imprint of his hard cock, the fabric against the head dark from where he had leaked precum. Chuckling, he stroked over the outline and just the sight alone made your mouth water. “Show me,” you breathed, spreading your thighs so he could see your needy core, clenching around nothing. “Hmm,” he hummed, dragging one of his fingers that wasn’t preoccupied with teasing himself through the mess of arousal and his saliva between your legs, only barely dipping it into you to feel the muscles trying to suck him inside. “Don’t tease me,” you whined high in your throat. “But I like seeing you squirm,” Johnny grinned but took mercy on you and sunk his finger into you up to the knuckle, gently pumping it inside you. Still sensitive from how intense your last orgasm had been, you were torn between pulling away and wanting more but Johnny made the decision for you when he pulled his finger out, wiping your arousal onto your thigh.

“Eyes on me,” he commanded and finally freed his cock from his briefs. “Fuck.” The curse left your lips without even noticing at the sight of his flushed cock, too heavy to properly stand up against his toned abs. The tip was tinted red and shiny with precum that Johnny generously spread down that whole length, his eyes not leaving yours as you watched him lazily jerk himself. “Like what you see?” You eagerly nodded your head. “Want it inside me.” “Yeah? Show me.”

Throwing all caution out of the window, you quickly sucked two of your fingers between your lips before guiding them to your weeping core to slip them inside you, letting out an over-exaggerated moan as you crooked them. “Oh you’re so naughty, baby,” Johnny groaned, squeezing the base of his cock tightly as he watched you fingering yourself and if you had even one coherent thought left in your head, you’d have the decency to be embarrassed because of how intensely he was staring. “It’s not enough,” you pouted, pulling your fingers free and spreading them to look at the slick covering them, “I’m so wet for you.” “Such a dirty mouth,” he groaned, quickly grabbing his pants to fish a condom from his wallet to roll over his hard length. “Please, Johnny,” you hiccupped, winding your legs around his waist to pull him closer to you. “Sssh, princess,” he soothed you, running his hands over your torso before bending down to press tender kisses to your stomach, “I’ll take care of you.” “Please kiss me.”

Dropping his elbows next to your head to support his weight, he covered your body with his and caught your lips in a kiss much too tender for your current situation, taking his time to explore your mouth until you were perfectly pliant beneath him. “Tell me if it hurts,” he whispered into the small space between you while he snaked a hand between your bodies to guide his cock to your core. When the head slipped in without much resistance, both of you let out twin moans of pleasure. Painstakingly slowly Johnny pushed inside you, centimeter by centimeter until his hips were flush to yours. “Breathe, princess,” he reminded you because you indeed had held your breath and had buried your nails in his biceps. “Shit, you’re big,” you cursed. “So I’ve been told,” Johnny chuckled and peppered your face and neck with little kisses while he slowly ground his hips so you could get used to him inside you.

“Move,” you demanded after a while.   “What’s the magic word baby?” He grinned. “Please, Johnny,” you whimpered, clenching down on him. “Once more.” “Don’t make me beg.” “But you sound so pretty when you do,” he chuckled, only barely moving his hips. “Johnny please,” you whined, trying your best to move on his cock on your own but the angle was just not working out. “Oh, you want to do the work?” “I want you to move,” you groaned, pawing at his chest.

“But I think you’d look so pretty riding my cock,” Johnny rasped and in one fluid movement, he had sat up and pulled you onto his lap. Shit, it felt like he was even deeper now. “Come on, princess.” Whining, you wound your arms around his shoulders and pulled your legs beneath you so you could lift your hips up to make his cock smoothly slide out, the friction just right before you slowly dropped back down again, earning you an appreciative groan from Johnny. “That’s right, baby,” he praised you as you slowly found a comfortable pace, swiveling your hips until the angle was just right. Tightening the grip you had on his shoulders to use it as leverage, you began riding him in earnest, impaling yourself on his cock over and over again until your head was spinning and your thighs started to burn. “Come on, doll,” Johnny grinned, catching one of your nipples between his lips. Whining, you rolled your hips faster until your thighs began shaking. “Need help?” He just grinned, his big hands holding onto your hips to help you move up and down his cock at a steadier pace. “Please Johnny,” you hiccupped, hiding your face in his neck to ground yourself, “Please fuck me.” “Am I not doing just that?” He chuckled, filthily grinding his cock inside you. “Do it right,” you panted into his skin, “Fuck me like you mean it.”

“Then get on your hands and knees for me, baby.” He didn’t have to tell you twice, it was almost comical how quickly you obeyed his command and arched your back for him. “Hmm, that’s it,” he praised you, tracing the curve of your spine with his hands until he reached the space between your shoulder blades where he gently pushed down to make you arch even further. “So good and pliant for me, just waiting to be filled.” “Please,” you just whined again, past the point of caring about how pathetic you sounded, begging for his cock. “Say it baby,” he demanded, slapping his cock against your wet folds. “Please fuck me Johnny. Please. I want your cock inside me so badly. Want you to fuck me until I can’t even remember my own name anymore. Please I need it. I-“ your frantic rambling got cut off by the surprised moan leaving your lips as he thrust into you without any warning. “Don’t hold back baby,” Johnny rasped before gripping your hips tightly to finally fuck you in earnest, the sound of skin slapping together loud in the otherwise silent room. “God, your ass looks amazing,” he moaned, burying himself in your tight heat over and over again, mesmerized by how his cock was glistening in the low light and how easily your body opened up for him, “You’re basically made to take my cock.” You could only mewl at his dirty words and fist the sheets tightly in your hands as you tried to meet his thrusts as best as you could while you felt like you got your soul fucked right out of you.

“Feels so good,” you slurred when you felt the familiar knot in your stomach ready to snap, clenching around Johnny’s cock. “God baby, if you keep clenching like that I’m gonna cum,” Johnny cursed, grabbing you by the neck to pull you up against his chest, the pace of his hips only getting faster. “Please Johnny. Want it inside,” you whined, letting him use your body how he wanted to relish in the low moans he let out. “You want me to fill you up baby?” “Want it so bad, Johnny,” you mewled. “Then cum for me. Cum on my cock and I’ll give you anything you want.��� And oh god. You had never thought that the strained sound of a couple of words could be enough to actually trip you over the edge but the rasp in Johnny’s voice had you falling apart in his arms, your orgasm ripping through you so hard it had your thighs shaking. “Such a good girl,” Johnny praised you before he let out a low guttural moan and fucked into you once – then twice – before his hips came to a halt, emptying his cum inside the condom.

For a while you two just panted loudly before Johnny gently laid you back down onto the mattress, chuckling lowly when you whined at the loss of his cock. “Shit,” you giggled while he quickly got rid of the condom, throwing it in the general direction of your trashcan. So tender you could have missed it, Johnny pressed a row of kisses down your spine until he reached the swell of your ass. “Cuddle me,” you pouted, making grabby hands at him. “We’re sweaty, princess,” he laughed but gave in when you kept pouting. “I don’t care,” you whined, fitting your head beneath his, wrapping your arms and legs around his body to cling to him like a koala. “You’re cute,” he smiled, pressing his lips to your forehead.

“For how long did you know?” “Know what?” Johnny asked, clearly confused. “That I was your secret admirer.” “I didn’t.” “It was so obvious,” you groaned. “Okay maybe I got a hunch after we started that group project. But you never said anything.” “What was I supposed to say? Oh Johnny, by the way, I’m the one who has been writing you cringey love letters for like half a year already. Please go out with me?” That made Johnny laugh, the sound melodic in the quiet of your room. “I would have said yes, you know?” He spoke lowly, “I’ll miss your letters.” “What makes you think I will stop writing them?” “Because you can tell me all that stuff in person now when we go on dates.” “We’ll go on dates?” “That’s what people do when they like each other, princess,” Johnny chuckled, “And I really like you. Both as my secret admirer and my classmate.” “Oh my god stop,” you whined, hiding your hot face in his chest, feeling shy all of a sudden while Johnny was just laughing.

“I like you too,” you eventually mumbled once it had gotten quiet again. “I figured,” he teased you. “I changed my mind,” you immediately shot back, rising from where you were cuddled into his chest but every other protest died on your tongue when you saw his dreamy expression, his honey eyes finding yours and completely ignoring the fact that you were still very much naked. “Date me,” he said. “Okay,” you answered, easily meeting his lips in a sweet kiss that wouldn’t be the last one you two shared tonight.

“Hello and welcome back, that was Middle Of The Night by Monsta X, suggested to us by raibebe through our Twitter with the hashtag JonJaeLoveTalk. We’re your DJ’s John-D.” “And Jae-D on NCT Night Night. Hello again to all of our listeners. John-D.” “Yes Jae-D,” Johnny chuckled, leaning back in his chair. “Something is off today. I looked through our mail and there was no letter from your secret admirer.” “Oh really,” he feigned surprise. “Either they didn’t send anything in or our director got sick of the pining.” “I can calm you right back down Jae-D,” Johnny smiled, “Because she simply doesn’t need to send any more letters. I finally found her.” “No way. For real? And you didn’t tell me? I have to find out through our radio show? Friendship is dead,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically and you couldn’t help but chuckle. “Jae-D you know you’ll always be the number one in my heart, you know that.” At that Jaehyun let out fake gagging noises that made both friends chuckle.

“No but for real. I finally found her and asked her out. It’s going great so yeah,” Johnny shrugged, “In case you’re listening baby: I’m dropping by later and bring sushi.” “This is so domestic already,” Jaehyun sighed dramatically, “Where is my secret admirer?” “Maybe you could find love as well if you stopped acting like the textbook example of a frat boy.” “What is that even supposed to mean?”

Smiling, you leaned back on your sofa and listened to your boyfriend bickering with his best friend. Boyfriend. That sounded good even though it still felt unreal. Love Letters weren’t dead after all it seemed.

[earthstellar]

oh god here we go: I’m spending my lunch hour analysing meg-ratch-ops

Original post here for context! 

@trashytransformerstrash​  #Megop this Megaratch that#can’t y’all see they’re just a failed polycule even tho op and ratch are still together#Megs is bitter about it

Honestly, now that I’m thinking about this a little more seriously (and it’s not like 5 AM lol), you’re 100% right

Their dynamic could easily be read, if one is so inclined lmao, as Megs remaining hurt by Orion’s perceived betrayal of their originally shared ideals and sense of camaraderie as well as the perceived rejection of Megatron himself as a product of his upbringing and forced lifestyle during his formative years

a love so strong the Cybertronian government was bent on destroying it: how to emotionally engage with your not-boyfriend so hard that you accidentally unionise your entire city-state, and your union goes so hard that you accidentally do a whole revolution

part one: at the podium

The big deviation in their relationship was essentially depicted in Exodus, when Megatron plans to address the Council directly, his first and possibly only ever chance in his lifetime to do so, an unbelievable opportunity for both him personally as well as his entire conceptual social movement--

--and Orion steps up and takes over, out of an explicitly stated sense that the Council won’t listen to Megatron owing to his self-presentation and the way he speaks and his reputation

(instead of letting Megatron have the chance to prove the Council wrong, Orion with all the best intentions intervenes before anything can proceed further, as the gallery of Council spectators starts to turn a little hostile and god I can absolutely see how this would piss off Megatron so fucking bad)

because to Megatron, Orion is essentially a middle class, fairly secure mech from a metropolitan city, essentially the capital polity of their world, and yes while Orion has the looks and the eloquence and the insider knowledge of how to talk to Council tier upper class people, that’s not the point of any of this

and to Orion, he’s simply trying to help Megatron’s point get across to the people who need to hear it, who will have the political and cultural power to make the necessary changes-- because Orion doesn’t fully grasp that the Council has no interest in hearing any of this from anyone, regardless of class or background or how smoothly and “correctly” it is objectively stated

the Council has a few key members who are just barely receptive enough to Orion closing out what was really Megatron’s speech to dole out a specific punishment task as opposed to just executing Orion or whatever else

but like, holy shit, it reminds me so much of every time I’ve gotten a chance to speak about trans healthcare concerns at medical schools and inevitably some fucking middle-upper class doofus jumps in and feels the need to re-package everything in a way that is sanitised for the ears of people who actually do fucking need to hear the actual severity and seriousness of these issues and how it impacts people and giving them a sanitised upper class veneer version of the content does nothing to impart the seriousness of any of it so none of them fucking learn or internalise anything RAAAAGH

part two: critical to consider, Megs originally just wanted to get a decent hourly wage 

Megatron did not originally want to escalate, nor was that his plan at any point until AFTER people started rioting of their own volition and AFTER Orion botched his podium opportunity with the Council-- at which point he embraced the vibes

it was Orion who essentially suggested a more formalised/legal approach by encouraging Megatron to try engaging through more official pathways to reach an audience with planetary authority, as he saw that there was at least potential to improve things now that Megatron had rallied a sizable number of the total working class population collectively

Megatron, up until discussing things with Orion and inviting him to come over to Kaon to experience the lived daily conditions of his people, did not ever plan to do any of this bullshit

his confidence in approaching the Council was based heavily on the support of his inner circle, which was primarily Soundwave and Orion at the time

Orion, while well intentioned and wanting the same end results from all of this, had zero real experience or understanding of two critical things:

1) the severity of how worn down and enraged the working class bots were

2) the severity of how little the Council actually cared about any of it

From Orion’s point of view, Megatron’s semi-celebrity status was an intentional thing, a popularity play, building a platform with revolutionary goals-- But Megatron’s popularity was not intentional, and was in fact generated by both his own need to speak up out of desperation combined with the unexpected mass response of others in the same or similar social positions.

His actual public platform, the gladiatorial rings, was shit he didn’t want anything to do with in the first place. He was forced into it, and chose out of exhaustion and desperation and rage to make that platform into something he could use himself, instead of constantly being a show animal for rich people to bet on every round 

Megatron, on the other hand, had all the lived experience necessary to speak to these societal and cultural issues, but his comfort was largely within the limits of that lived experience;

I used to live in a tent in a trailer park when I was in high school for a couple years, for an idea of my background lmao, and I’ve also had to have dinner in the actual UK Parliament in Westminster with actual government people and actually have to talk to them about serious shit

I promise you, I FULLY UNDERSTAND how fucking stressed out Megatron had to be standing in that fucking Council hall once he finally got there 

and from his point of view, Orion encouraged this; his trustworthy, good, sweet Orion who represented a previously unknown hope that perhaps there were other middle and upper class bots like Orion that could be reasonable if only they had the chance to see someone like him speak the truth, inform them of the conditions so many others had been suffering for so long 

and then Orion steps up to the podium 

and it all melts away into another middle class bot speaking to things they don’t understand, putting a pretty middle class face on a working class struggle for the optics of it all, another political ploy between the middle and upper class, devoid of the voice and physicality of those harmed the most by ongoing oppression 

and then Orion becomes Optimus, and isn’t that some fucking shit, from Megatron’s point of view? 

Optimus then surrounds himself with these well-off, middle and upper class bots, makes their filthy rich capital city-state his base to defend as things continue to spiral out of hand, 

and at that point, why not? fuck it, there’s no hope for these people 

nothing left to break but their chains. 

then Optimus has the nerve to get mad and seemingly attempt to de-rail everything, destroying the hope for change, after having proven in Megatron’s mind that none of these fuckers could ever be trusted-- Not even Orion? 

Optimus, falling back on his most familiar social caste relations, surrounds himself with career soldiers--military people who worked for the same fucking oppressive government they had both stood against-- and high caste people like Towers bots and a fucking world class surgeon? 

from Megatron’s point of view here, it is 100% time to start Googling every single one of these Autobot fuckers and determine who, exactly, his not-boyfriend is probably closest with. 

because that person is surely fascinating, and enraging-- he likely feels as though he’s been replaced. 

here we gooo: Ratchet time 

but like, no wonder Ratchet in particular would become a particular interest of Megatron’s, out of the cohort Optimus has gathered around himself

because who is more upper class than a Chief Medical Officer? who was more important in Cybertronian society than those privileged enough to ever reach high office in any role, especially in any scientific fields (which are mentioned at least once in canon materials as providing a particularly notably high class/caste ranking)

and I have no doubt that Megs looked into Ratchet’s personal history, because anyone that close to Optimus is likely of great interest

and oh! 

look!

it turns out the good doctor was originally from the middle of fucking nowhere 

no civilisation, no privilege, Ratchet pre-dates most of the infrastructure of Iacon altogether 

it is fascinating, how someone who literally had to traverse the planet and ask to be educated and ask to be given work, is seemingly fine with participating in a broken and class stratified society 

(yes, Ratchet is a medic, and to not participate in that society would mean not being able to help people--- we know Ratchet treated less well-off bots as well as anyone else, but in public, he was decorated. venerated. very well off, himself.) 

it is enraging, as proof that those who are “grandfathered” in have no worries, their positions are secured because they helped to create their positions in the first place 

it is spark-wrenching, to imagine that someone with such a background could, in Megatron’s eyes, be processor-washed into spouting the same hateful rhetoric (even if it was just for show) in order to keep their position, even considering the unique aspects of medical work and ethics under such a system-- well, it hardly matters if it was for show, because if that is all anyone ever sees, it may as well have been genuine, as far as Megatron is likely concerned. 

but he sees similar rage in Ratchet. 

Ratchet is the one bot out of Optimus’ remaining team members which reminds him the most of himself. 

there’s a real fire there, a real drive to do what needs to be done to make things right, to make things good, to make things better, to care about the wellbeing of those less off, of those who are hurting 

and that appeals to Megatron as much as it does to Optimus 

the medic fills that personality type for Optimus, fills the gap Megatron left behind in ways that are more palatable, more appropriate, better expressed-- according to Optimus, from Megatron’s view of things 

-----

I gotta to back to work now, a lot of this is just me talking bullshit and I have no time to read over or edit any of this but I’m 100% on board with this fuckery lmaooooo

[itsclydebitches]

People wanted the early volumes to be re animated. They got their wish it seems. At least the first volume it seems.

My sense at the moment is that we've deliberately been shown only a small, small chunk of the series. Basically, everything taking place in the first 1-2 episodes that deliberately mirror (no mirror-verse puns intended) the original show before we get into AU territory. So it might not but an early volume(s) reanimation so much as a early episode(s) reanimation with subtle nods towards the different timeline — did Yang ever confront Weiss like that? I can't remember — before things really take a turn.

Okay, now pardon me, anon, but I'm going to use your ask to throw out random observations because I'm too lazy to make another post lol.

I like the animation style well enough so far, with the exception of everyone’s eyes. Ngl they kind of freak me out but, you know, presumed dark AU so maybe that’s a good thing for the tone of the story? At least on my end.

The combat also looks good. Ruby’s scythe skills generated a “Nice, nice” but Weiss, like, THROWING the boarbatusk? There’s a hard-hitting intensity in the visuals here that, despite Monty's stellar choreography, the original animation lacks just due to constraints.

BEAR GRIMM

I like that Ruby is speaking to Summer a lot in the trailer. It helps establish a strong tie between them and keeps her motivation—becoming a huntress to follow in her mother’s footsteps—at the forefront, rather than just mentioning it in passing. If this AU takes the time to add onto what we got in the original timelime, something I'd most like to see is Summer development.

It’s so funny having all the girls’ original, basic personalities distilled into a trailer because it’s like: Ruby [very serious]—'I won’t disappoint you, Mom.’ Weiss [very serious]—‘I have a responsibility as heir to the Schnee corporation.’ Blake [very serious]—‘The world is not a fairy tale.’ Yang [vibrating at the speed of light]—‘Oh my fucking god I LOVE MY SISTER’

Whether anything comes of it or not, I like Weiss’ “You’ve done nothing to earn your position” superimposed over her fight against the knight, implying that she doesn’t just think she deserves the leadership role by virtue of being a Schnee, but because she underwent a difficult trial set by her father to get here. It’s a slightly different spin that adds depth to Weiss beyond just being an arrogant know-it-all. Why does Ruby get to be leader when she worked so hard to be here, etc.? The idea of Ruby getting by more on raw talent than work effort—crazy impressive scythe skills she seems to have easily picked up, let into Beacon early, made leader, doesn’t like paying attention in class, etc.—was never explored, but could be a cool angle here.

Weiss also appears a lot more hurt by Ruby calling her “bossy” than she was in the initial show. Of course, that could be largely due to the different animation style, but still. Regardless, it (again) gives us a slightly different reading of Weiss’ character and her relationship with Ruby. Whiterose shippers getting fed tonight.

As is the freezerburn crowd.

“This is about novice girls” oh god slap that on Volume 8 as the tagline.

Funny that the subtitles give Ozpin’s well known “I would not consider your appointment to leader to be one of them” without explaining what “them” is. That is, one of his many mistakes.

More importantly: HE’S BACK. It’s okay, Oz, you can keep your creepy eyes. I’m just glad to see you.

Also...

possibly I’m being very stupid by asking this but what… is this? Salem is talking about dust when it’s shown so I assume it’s dust-related, but it looks kinda fantasy banana-ish? Did a piece of Jaune’s hair fall out? I feel like this is just a matter of me being too tired to think straight but idk I was #confused.

Cool that the music cuts out and the glass of the screen shatters during the credits, like the normality/reality of the original RWBY universe (even as a webseries — now it's an anime) really has been breached. Weiss sees her counterpart, though notably not in the alternate outfit shown on the website. From the back they appear to be identical.

So yeah, we still don’t really know what’s going on. As said, first few episodes (mostly) retelling RT's RWBY before a sudden divergence? That seems the most likely at this point. I do wish we'd gotten some sense of what the AU aspects will be — it's not really a "RWBY: Ice Queendom" trailer is it? It's a "RWBY: Reboot" trailer with the fandom simply knowing better — but given that the early volumes are my favorite, even if this wasn't the case of an AU I'd still be interested in the content.

[greenninjagal-blog]

The Rumor Mill Game (pt4)

I swear I didn’t forget about this au. This chapter is just....long.

Welcome back to this mess of an au :) If you need a refresher, you can find Part Three [here!] Or if you’re new check out the first part [here!]

Summary: Logan is...dealing with the fallout of him and his coworker, Remus, having created a rumor about them being married and now apparently having a kid except not because Logan screamed at the top of his lungs that Virgil wasn’t his kid. His boss has a different definition for what “dealing” actually means. 

Words: 8292 (Holy shit remember when this au was 2k words)

Read on Ao3 || My General Writing Masterlist

When Logan had seen his boss after he made Virgil cry, he hadn’t expected it to end up like this.

Granted when he hadn’t exactly been expecting anything. He hadn’t been looking ahead, hadn’t been making plans, hadn’t been thinking at all. Which was most likely how he ended up outside the bar in the first place. 

Logan could, of course, count the number of times he had been drunk on one hand. College had been a time for experimenting, and of course for his twenty-first birthday his friends at the time had been insistent that he needed to imbibe an unholy amount of alcohol in one night. They had turned it into an experiment, where Logan documented exactly what he was feeling after each drink and he still had the notes in his desk at home, despite the fact that his handwriting had become illegible after the fifth drink and someone had spilled an orange soda based tonic on the third page. The notes themselves were worthless, but they served as a memoir to people who he no longer associated with and a younger version of himself who had still been learning.

And Logan did have a soft spot for that imbecile: Twenty-one-year-old Logan Ackroyd who still believed in the goodness of people and who wanted to change the world and who could fall in lov--

Logan pitied him-- that kid he used to be-- which he was certain that his younger self would be indignant about. Logan always did hate when people pitied him. Those emotions had rarely ever been genuine, rarely ever been helpful, rarely been productive. What was he to do about people feeling bad for him? About others being disappointed? About others making assumptions about him and how he felt?

He didn’t need pity, and he didn’t want it. Not when he got rejected to his first three colleges, not when flunked that English class and had to pay to retake it the next year, not when he had bought that ring and gotten down on one knee and made a whole carefully edited speech and--

And he’s not nearly drunk enough to deal with these types of thoughts. Or any thoughts for that matter. Wouldn’t it just be great to stop thinking? 

Then he wouldn’t have to remember the looks on his coworkers faces when he storming into the office less than fifteen minutes after initially leaving for lunch and demanded that Beatrice turn in her overdue spreadsheets in twenty minutes or he’d have her fired before slamming his office door hard enough to crack that frosted glass, or the look on Remus- fucking- Prince’s face when he tried to act like everything that had happened was not his fault and that Logan had taken the game to far by himself without any sort of prompting from Remus, or the look on Virgil’s face when Logan lost his self control.

Like an idiot. Like an asshole. Like someone who doesn’t think before he acts.

Like someone who should be alone for the rest of his life, because he can’t seem to get a hold of those useless emotions of his. 

And Logan wanted so very badly to blame Remus Prince for this whole endeavor, the whole production, the whole catastrophe. He wanted to say that without Remus he never would have gotten that angry, wouldn’t have had that conversation, wouldn’t have even gotten Thai today. 

Logan wanted to say that, but really it's his own fault. If he had just dismissed Remus’s rumor in the beginning, if he had just told Jen and Quin that his personal business was his own, if he had just ignored the urge to get coffee and finished the spreadsheets without getting up that last night.

His fourth finger itched around the base, the area where that little silver ring had been sitting for less than a day. It was ridiculous, utterly ridiculous, because Logan had never worn a ring before and now suddenly the absence of it caused his skin to crawl in a most unpleasant, unproductive way. 

Distantly Logan realized that by gifting Remus such a wonderful present, he had also thrown away four hundred dollars. And perhaps ironically Logan noted that he feels annoyed about it-- four hundred dollars had been sitting in a pocket of a dress jacket in the corner of his office for over nine months and he had tossed it aside in a fit of impulsive anger.

Logan had not been hurting for money recently, with how decently he was paid, and the amount of overtime he worked, and how little time he had taken off since that disastrous night.

But perhaps he might have been able to return it to the jewelers and weathered the terrible, awful pitying looks they would give him when he requested about their refund policy or a location where he might be able to sell it himself. It was a ring that was worth four hundred dollars and he had given it to Remus, and isn’t it funny that that’s farther than he got with the one for whom the ring had been originally intended?

And as Logan downed his next rum and coke of the night, he hoped that Remus found a better use for it. Newton knows it hadn't done any good for Logan. 

(Its stupid, Logan knew, to blame a ring for the way that he had screeched “He’s not and never will be our son!” Its stupid, Logan knew, to blame a ring for the way that Remus had hummed mischievously “I think I enjoy being fake-married to you, Logan." Its stupid, Logan knew, to blame a ring for the the way his last partner had said “We should see other people”. Its stupid, stupid, stupid--)

“Hmmm,” A voice behind him said, “I thought I would find you here!”

Logan didn’t realize he had closed his eyes until he heard the voice and felt every atom in his body figuratively threaten to combust. He wasn’t drunk enough to be thinking about him, and he most certainly wasn’t drunk enough to turn and look at the incessantly, perky man that had decided to sit down next to him.

Logan waved at the bartender and ordered another rum and coke and watched his freshly emptied glass disappear like the handful of others he didn’t bother to keep count of.

“And I’ll have two waters, please!” Patton Hart added with one of his peppy, happy, insufferable laughs, before turning to face Logan. “Hiya, Lo! It's been so long since we’ve seen each other!”

“Not long enough,” Logan disagreed, with a rueful smile that should very clearly, very precisely detail how much he does not want company at the current moment. “Don’t you have things to be doing tonight, Mr. Hart?”

Patton hummed, pressing his lips together as he thought-- a monumental task for someone like him, surely. Logan was partially convinced that if he removed his glasses he might be able to see the squirrels beginning to run on that rusted wheel in the other man’s brain. If Logan was of a less logical mind he might even be brazen enough to call this the first time Patton had used his brain all week.

“Well,” Patton said, carefully settling himself on the stool next to Logan. “I was graciously informed by my son that he would be enjoying the perks of being a teenager with no bedtime tonight and along with where exactly I could shove my homemade lasagna.” He laughed lightly, “Kids, these days! He really does keep me on my toes!” 

Logan did his best not to roll his eyes. “I do not know the whereabouts of your son, Mr. Hart.”

“Patton,” He said easily, “And I’m not here for my son. I’m here for you, Logan.”

“If this is about the glass in my door, you are very capable of taking that out of my paycheck.” Logan told him.

The bartender placed Logan’s new rum and coke in front of him and he reached for it almost immediately, only stopping when Patton’s hand landed on his forearm.

“Mr. Hart--”

“Patton,” Patton corrected with that smile that Logan suspected was the worst thing in the world. Worse than Virgil’s blank expression when he told them to get out, worse than Remus’s smug one when he suggested that Logan did indeed enjoy the ability to manipulate his coworkers, worse than Beatrice faulty excel sheets, than broken glass of his door, than a ring he never wanted to see again and yet he still felt like it was missing from his finger.

“Mr. Hart,” Logan said again, “I am going to get horrifically drunk tonight, and I will be calling out sick tomorrow, regardless of what you say. So my advice to you is, say anything of importance now, before I am too incoherent to register and respond accordingly.”

“That doesn’t sound too smart there, kiddo!” Patton said, like he was any older than Logan was.

“I do not feel like being smart right now,” Logan said snippily. Because being smart involved thinking, and Logan had done quite enough thinking for the day. He was tired of thinking, tired of memories, tired of the lump in his chest that had formed during his lunch break and hadn’t dissolved in the eight hours since. He was tired.

“Would you like me to be smart for you?” Patton asked.

Ah.

Yes, Logan remembered suddenly with just a few words why he hated Patton Hart so much. Why he hated those too-wide brown eyes, those stupid freckles, that soft smile. Why he hated the way that Patton had tracked him down despite the fact that he had turned off his phone, the way that Patton had ordered two waters, the way that he hadn’t taken off his jacket. The way that he had taken out his keys and put them on the bar counter between them and Logan could pick out his own house key from the jumbled mess of bits and bobs.

“I heard something pretty interesting today,” Patton said, when Logan didn’t reply because he was too busy remembering why he hated Patton so much.

“Please don’t pretend like you didn’t know about my so-called affair before I did.” Logan snapped. “Honestly, Patton!” Logan dropped his arm from the glass and instead pressed his knuckles to his forehead. “Playing dumb about your own company is my least favroite thing about you.”

“I thought you hated my laugh the most.” Patton looked at him, letting the smile slip into something more serious.

“I hate everything about you.” 

“Pay for the drinks, Lo.” Patton told him, “And I’ll take you home. We can have some of my lasagna and watch a space documentary, like we’re twenty years old again.” 

Logan hated Patton and hated the way his chest ached at the offer. His knuckles bore into the side of his head, jabbing the frame of his own glasses into this temple. He hated the way that Patton was looking at him, soft and sweet and naive.

He hated the way his fingers itched to take Patton’s hand and go home.

“And after all that,” Patton continued so lightly, “You can tell me all about how Remus Prince got under your skin.”

 Logan’s hand slammed on the counter, so suddenly he surprised himself. Patton, however, didn’t flinch, didn’t even blink, didn’t react other than to hold that smile. 

“I am not drunk enough to be talking about Remus Prince,” Logan spat. “Especially not to you, Patton.”

Patton was quiet and at first, Logan really had thought that he had won something-- he thought that perhaps Patton would grant him mercy and let him drown his sorrows alone and miserable in a bar until he forgot his own name. But Patton was too good of a friend and Logan really should hate him less for that.

“You know,” Patton said with a cold type of humor that doused Logan with awareness. Bad awareness. The type of awareness that sunk it’s metaphorical claws into Logan’s chest and pierced straight through his heart before Patton finished what he was saying. “I think….yeah that does sound familiar. Do you remember the last time you said you weren’t drunk enough to tell me something?”

Logan did.

Logan couldn’t forget if he tried. 

And he had tried so very hard for so very long-- except that Remus Prince had waltzed into Logan’s life, had called him a Robot, had smirked at him and run their coworkers around like cattle with pretty little words. Except that Remus Prince had gotten bored and decided that the only logical next course of action was to mess with Logan’s personal life. 

Except that Remus Prince had played along with the rumor game, and smiled at him, and kissed him, and---

And Logan had started thinking---

And Logan’s mouth had started moving--

And Virgil face had--

Logan reached for the glass in front of him, reaching for the cool ice and the spritzy carbonation and the burn of the rum.  

Patton watched him, blinking in the long, slow, dumb way of his that had fooled just about every person that he had come in contact with. With the goofy smile and the habit of deliberately misunderstanding key phrases and making puns and jokes when things were tense, it was hard to see him as anything other than a rich son who became CEO via thinly veiled nepotism. 

Logan knocked back the drink, blinking back the burn behind his eyes that were from the alcohol and definitely not from the lump in his throat that had started dissolving.

He didn’t want to close his eyes, because he knew what he would see when he did: a nice suit, a fancy dinner, a walk to the bridge dotted with fairy lights of all things. He’d see that stupid ring, that stupid face, that stupid end of the night that everyone had told him would be nice, and perfect, and everything he would ever want! 

And he didn’t want to think about how it had not been nice or perfect or anything either of them had ever wanted!

He didn’t want to think about how years ago he had come to a bar just like this, and tried to get so drunk he could pretend that it hadn’t happened, and Patton had shown up then and offered him a job and--

“He wants to go by Janus now,” Patton said, picking up one of the waters and taking a sip.

Logan squinted at him and tried not to be happy about the distraction from his own thoughts, “Who?”

“My son,” Patton said, like it was obvious he had switched back to a neutral topic. “He told me earlier during our phone call he wants to go by Janus, now. He said he’s hated the name Dante for forever. Can you believe it, Lo?”

Logan couldn’t actually. Because he had known Patton since they themselves were teenagers, since before Patton had brought up how empty being a CEO was without anyone to come home too, since Patton had first invited him to Sunday brunch and introduced him to the child he called “son”. Logan had babysat Dante when Patton had business trips and Dante had always been proud of himself, of his better-than-the-status-quo lifestyle, of his name that held power and prestige and weight.

Dante had been practicing saying his name in the mirror since before his voice cracked. Dante Hart, future CEO. Dante Hart, son of Patton Hart. Dante Hart. 

“He’s a teenager,” Logan said, “He’s rebelling.”

“Maybe so!” Patton laughed, and it dwindled down to something that was easier felt in the air than definable in terms Logan was familiar with, “Gosh, I love him so much, Lo. My baby! He’s growing up so fast now! The other day he told me he had a boyfriend. He’s at that stage where he doesn’t want me to help him anymore!”

And despite the buffoon having not had a single drop of alcohol, Patton was tearing up. Logan gritted his teeth at the implications of a weepy, teary, so-full-of-emotions Patton. He had spent enough time in college trying to console him as he figured out the whole “Why does it always have to be about sex? Why can’t I just love hugging someone, Lo? Why does everyone make me feel so broken?” Logan hadn’t been any good back then, and he definitely hadn’t gotten better with time. 

After that disaster with the last guy, Logan had decided that feeling things, frivolous things, emotion-like things, were not something he was into anymore.

Logan learned from his mistakes, after all.

Even the mistakes that started with “R” and ended in a $400 ring being thrown away.

“Is that why you’re here, Mr. Hart?” Logan asked, in that way of his that told even Patton with his squirrel run brain that it wasn’t actually a question at all. “You can’t baby your son anymore so you’ve moved on to the next best thing?”

Patton stuck his tongue in his cheek and set his water back down. “Patton.” He stressed. “And I’m not here to baby you, Logan. I’m here to be your friend.”

He said “friend” like it was a word in the dictionary Logan didn’t know. It was infuriating: the insinuation that Logan had never cracked open a dictionary before, that he was so unknowledgeable about the concept of a friend that Patton was about to show him the online Oxford dictionary definition, like someone who played dumb all day and peppered his windows with sticky notes in the shape of a game of Frogger knew more about something than Logan who had clawed his way up from nothing and was constantly needing to prove how he earned his position.

Patton nudged the second water in Logan’s direction.

Logan stared at it, at the condensation on the glass, at the ice cubes, at the refraction of the low lights from the bar counter. He stared at it like it was a portal back through time that would allow him to slam some sense into poor, pitiful twenty-one-years-old Logan before he let himself fall in Love.

Before he bought a ring or stopped taking days off unless Patton tromped down to his office himself. Before Remus Prince borrowed his cup and before Logan got it in his head that he was serving revenge rather than idiocracy. Before he let himself think too little and say too much and hurt a kid that had never deserved to be upset before in his life.

“If my son wants to be called Janus, I’ll call him that,” Patton says softly. “Because even if it doesn’t make sense to me, it means something to him. And even if my friend is struggling with emotions that don’t make sense to me, I’m still gonna try to help him, Lo.”

Patton ducked his head just a little, just enough that he managed to catch Logan’s strategically averted gaze and make something out of it: a swell of guilt, a sense of hope, a pinch of safety and unadulterated kindness.

His throat was dry, but it was the type of dry that couldn’t be fixed with a glass of water.

“I made a kid cry,” Logan said, because self loathing is a coat he had thought he’d outgrown but he can still fit his arms in the sleeves.

Patton nodded. “Yeah, I heard about that.” He sipped his water. “I think we all have at one point or another.”

“See, the distinct difference that you are missing here, Patton, is that you are a father.” Logan snapped, “And your son will cry at the drop of a hat if he thinks he can get something out of it. And you would never harm a child! Not for any reason in the entire world!”

“And you would?”

“I did.” Logan felt himself sink into the chair, sink like an anchor in the ocean, sink like the floor below him had turned into a blackhole. “I did, I did it. What type of person does that make me?”

“I hate to break it to you, Lo,” Patton said, as kindly as he could, which Logan knew was truly, sickenly nice. He wanted to choke on the sentiment but he found that he couldn’t quite make his chest hurt the way he wanted it too when it came to Patton’s pity.

 “But that just means you’re a normal person.” Patton smiled dumbly, tilting his head and shrugging. “Everyone says things they don’t mean sometimes.”

“You don’t.”

“I do,” Patton countered gently, “Like when I hired Beatrice before realizing that she had lied about knowing how to use Excel.”

“Fuck, Beatrice,” Logan agreed, because if he closed his eyes too hard he thought he might still see grid patterns as much as he might see Virgil’s hurt expression and he hated it so much. So much. 

“I also told-- Janus once that I would get him anything he wanted for his birthday, and he asked for a snake.” Patton shuddered, almost comically, “And you saw how that turned out.”

“I’ve always been impressed with his ability to sneak things into the school buildings,” Logan sighed. “I doubt anyone has ever forgotten that Show-and-Tell.”

Patton chuckled quietly. It was almost lost in the buzz of the other patrons in the bar. He drew a smiley face in the condensation on his glass and Logan reached over to wipe it away, like he had done a hundred seventeen times since college.

“So….Lasagna?” Patton offered. “We can make some garlic bread too.”

“I regret ever meeting you,” Logan said, even as he picked up the keys on the counter between them. He wished that Patton didn’t look so self satisfied, so pleased, so smug when the words tumbled from his lips, but Patton had never been one to pertain to the wishes and whims of Logan like that.

Settling his tab was quick; a pile of bills from his wallet that he didn’t actually check, but decided the bartender deserved anyway and then Patton linked their elbows together so that Logan couldn’t walk off the way that he used to when he would agree with Patton just to get him to shut up. Logan snagged Patton’s glasses from his head and fogged them up with his breath, before taking on the tedious task of cleaning the fingerprints off the lens meticulously while walking in a wobbling straight line. 

Patton laughed like silver bells and it alone brightened the entire street with a type of magic that Logan had long since given up on trying to scientifically explain. The poet in him that Logan had buried under Calculus classes and Statistics courses and a Business degree and only let out when the alcohol out weighed the blood in his system, whispered that it was because it was Patton and his aloofness, and his kindness, and his generosity that never made any sense, and wasn’t that reason enough for the universe to lighten up?

It was drizzling outside, scattered raindrops and dark heavy clouds that whispered of a thunderstorm later. Patton skipped, Logan rolled his eyes and let himself be dragged towards the familiar pale blue punch buggy. It was the same exact car from their college time together, if one ignored the frankenstein replacements of just about every single component in it. Patton clung to the car the same way he had clung to the delusion of Logan being a good friend; sticking close through every breakdown, excusing every letdown, and spending far too much money on it when economically it would have been more beneficial to just let them go.

A wave of self loathing wrapped over Logan again when he pulled on the car door. Patton was genuinely a good person, a good friend. He was stupid at times and he made decisions that made Logan was to strangle him, but he cared so much more than other people. He offered fourth and fifth chances when Logan would have stone-walled his offender at one. 

Not to mention, he had come out in the rain to find Logan specifically, probably traversing through three other bars to find the one that Logan had chosen to be his misery echo chamber.

By some sort of lucky happenstance, Logan had originally walked far enough to hail a taxi  to get to this bar, leaving his car in the safety of the parking garage where Patton’s company paid a nice sum for security. Logan had tried to argue about that expense with him back in the day, but Patton had pulled out a picture of his toothy grinning son-- Janus-- and said “Lo!! What if my son comes to visit when he learns to drive?! I don’t want to worry about him getting attacked in the parking garage!” 

Logan had brutally pointed out that his son would never visit him during work, and so far he had been correct in that assessment, but that didn’t stop him from feeling the slightest bit guilty about his bluntness even so much time later.

Patton had always looked for the best in people, had more strength than most of humanity, had more hope in happy endings that Logan had trust in fact and numbers.

“Is your son okay with me calling him Janus? I’m unsure of etiquette on this. Should I wait until he tells me his preference or should I just make the switch and not bring it up to him?” Logan asked with a sigh as Patton pulled out of the parking spot and set them towards Patton’s house on the other side of town. Unobstructed and following the driving laws, it would only take them about fifteen minutes, and yet Logan wondered about the possibility of Patton having Advil in the car.

The back of his head was already aching from the days events: banging his head on the keyboard all morning leading up to his disastrous lunch date, Remus, Virgil, squinting at spreadsheets until he couldn’t make out the numbers anymore, and the of course stumbling his way to the bar and dealing with Patton.

Patton giggled. “Oh yeah! I asked him earlier if it was okay to tell you. He said he wanted you to call him Janus now. He also said to tell you, you can take a hike.”

Knowing Janus, it was probably something more volatile than “taking a hike”. Most likely it had been something that might have required him to put a full five dollars in the swear jar that they kept on the counter next to the cookie jar. Not that it would matter much. Logan had stayed over at their house dozens of times and every single time he had come across Janus taking that money back out of that swear jar.

As far as Logan was aware, the swear jar had never actually been full. Patton must have noticed at some point-- probably that very first time Janus had taken the money back out-- but he was irritating insistent that he play dumb about it. Thus, Janus continued to swear in excess, Patton continued to make him put money in a swear jar for no real reason, and Logan continued to never understand either of them.

The radio in Patton’s car had been broken fifteen times since Patton had gotten it, but Logan assumed from the silence of the drive that it was now sixteen. He rested his elbow on the window and watched the drizzle turn into a steady rain and the windshield wipers flutter across their vision to occasionally bring them clarity.

The night life was somewhat dreary. The driving pace was slow, and they hit every single stop light in the city because that was just Logan’s luck. There were a few people running around in the rain: a family with a small child who was jumping in every slowly forming puddle on the sidewalk, a couple sharing an umbrella walking so close together they appeared as if to be one misshapen form, a group of friends chatting outside a 24 hour dinner in raincoats, and a few smokers huddled under an alcove with embers burning just enough for Logan to make out their forms through the downpour. 

Logan realized almost immediately that the pit in his stomach was much more bearable if he instead focused on the raindrops on the window that are much easier to look at, much less representing something that Logan had always expected he might one day have, much less accusatory in wondering what is wrong with him that he can’t act like a normal human being, this isn’t working, who wants to marry a robot like you--

That was the reason why he wasn’t expecting the sudden jerk of the car coming to a hard stop at a yellow light that they absolutely could have made. 

“PATTON!” Logan yelled.

The car behind them blared it’s horn and Logan rubbed his neck and reset his glasses from the sudden movement, ready to question what exactly Patton thought he was doing, because truly of all the things Logan was not in the mood for, this was one of them. 

Except that before Logan could get any words out, Patton had put the car in park and whipped off his seatbelt to kick open his door. A wave of rain came pouring into the car as the man threw himself from the driver's seat like there was something wrong with the car, and for a second Logan entertained the absurd idea that they were going to blow up.

Which truly, would have just been a fitting end to his horrific day.

“Patton!” Logan hissed, grabbing after the other’s coat to pull him back inside before the rain soaked into the seats. “Get back in th--”

The other man ignored him, frantically waving to someone in the rain. “REMUS!! MR. PRINCE!! OVER HERE!!”

If Logan knew slightly less about human biology he might have been inclined to say that his heart jumped straight to his throat and climbed its way up his esophagus to strangle him. He wouldn’t have recognized the figure on the street corner on his own: Remus Prince was wearing a black leather jacket and jeans with holes in the knees. He was soaked to the bone, without an umbrella, and his usual bouncy brown curls were matted to his head, as if he had been walking out in the rain for much longer than the rain had been sweeping through the city.

He was standing with the smokers under their minimal tarp, although he, himself, was without a cigarette at all. When he turned at the call of his name, there was only confusion and exhaustion in his face. None of the smugness, or the ego, or the energy that he usually had.

Logan didn’t know why that bothered him. He was hurting from earlier; that was good. 

After all, it was Remus’s ridiculous game that he had dragged everyone else into. 

((Logan’s finger itched and he dug his nails into his skin so deeply he was afraid to glance down in case there was blood pouring off hands.))

Remus ventured out to meet them, dodging across the lanes of traffic without a care in the world, or perhaps with a death wish. Remus didn’t seem particularly like he would mind getting run over by the way that he opened the back door, climbed in, and shook the excess water out in the interior of the car like some type of undomesticated dog. 

“Is this a kidnapping?” He asked, rain dripping down his face. “A murder? Do I get to know your name before you dismember me, cutie?”

Patton laughed joyfully, even as Logan felt his face screw up at the sound of Remus calling their boss “cutie”. It was beyond unprofessional, even if Remus was apparently unaware that his career hinged entirely on not insulting Patton. It took a lot to make Patton angry enough to fire someone-- his patience was the best and worst thing about him, as Logan had been reminded every time they interacted-- but once Remus crossed that line, not even a cockroach like him would be able to drag himself out of the metaphorical wasteland Patton would make out of his life.

Cutie, honestly. Who calls anyone they’ve just met cutie. Logan could understand Remus having called him Lovebug and Lolo, but cutie? 

For Patton?

Patton climbed back into the car, snapping on his seatbelt and managed to get out of park at the very same moment as the light turned green. He wiped his sleeve along his glasses, and brightly said, “I’m Patton! And you already know Logie here!”

“Logie?” Remus repeated, sitting back against the seat taking in Logan for the first time. “Oh shi--”

“Do not call me that,” Logan said. “Patton, you can drop me off at the next corner. I will walk home.”

“Don’t be silly!” Patton said, in the same tone that he had used during their college days to coax Logan into driving him to the nearest grocery store after he had successfully managed to pull two all nighters in a row. Logan hated that tone, and Patton knew that well.

“If you do not stop the car, I will throw myself from it while it is still moving.”

“I can get out, actually!” Remus said far too loud for the small car. Logan resisted the urge to turn around and scowl at him. Surely, his pea-sized brain had managed to figure out that he was the point of contention here and that his best move would be to shut up, so why had he decided to open his mouth? “I need to get home anyway. Big day tomorrow and everything.”

“Oh?” Patton said delightedly because Logan would not ever play into subject changes willingly. “What’s tomorrow?”

“I’m getting fired,” Remus said with a nonchalant shrug.

Patton blinked for a moment-- his squirrel-run brain jamming at the sudden twist of the words because whatever he was expecting from his visitor it was not that. Logan resisted the urge to reach over and give him a shake at the shoulders: of course he wouldn’t be able to expect anything with Remus Prince. The man was insufferable and illogical and he wrought chaos for fun. 

With everything that had happened, did Patton really think that there was an exaggeration in there?

Remus wanted attention. And he said whatever he needed to in order to get it: a fake affair, a fake divorce, a fake child-- Of course he would say he was getting fired tomorrow if it got Patton to have to use all of his meager brain cells to figure out how serious he was.

“Is that something to celebrate, Mr. Prince?” Logan cut in coldly. “Getting fired?”

“And here I thought that you would be happy, Ackroyd,” Remus said. “Unless you think you’re going to miss me.”

“If only I would be so lucky,” Logan said, digging his phone from his pocket, and turning it back on. The screen was blindingly bright and Logan’s eyes ached just glancing at it in the corner of his vision. “Patton, pull over. I am not doing this tonight. Or tomorrow. Or ever again.”

“I’m not going to let you walk home after however many rum and cokes you had, Logan.”

“Patton,” Logan snarled. “If you continue to treat me like you treat your son, I will tender my resignation tonight. Pull over now.”

Patton opened his mouth, but whatever he was going to say was swallowed up in Remus’s empty voice speaking. 

“You went drinking?”

“Do not talk to me, Mr. Prince.”

“You’re not even yelling.”

Logan wasn’t sure what that was supposed to mean, which may have irritated him more than the fact that he was so insistent about continuing to talk when Logan was liable to push the car to crash and kill all three of them. Remus was already staring at him, his expression dark and serious in the passing car lights and somehow Logan thought that he looked vulnerable. 

Logan gritted his teeth as his headache pulsed behind his eyes. 

“Shut up,” he said. “And put on your seat belt.”

“Or what? You’ll divorce me?” Remus pushed forward between the seats until he was just a few inches from Logan’s own face, grinning with all his teeth. It was at once the same smile that Logan had catalogued through every week of working with him and also something completely foreign.

Remus had pulled him into a kiss earlier that morning, and Logan remembered the taste of pickles on his lips just as well as the smirk he kept as Logan walked away. But this expression is somehow inverted, somehow shifted, somehow a weapon more than a challenge.

“Boys,” Patton said. “Please don’t fight in my car!”

“If you did not want us to fight, why did you invite him in this car?” Logan asked. “You, of all people, know my opinions on--”

“Logan, you’re drunk.”

“What does that have to do with this?!” Logan bit out. He glared at his phone: there were three missed calls from Patton and a handful of text messages from him that Logan couldn’t actually read in the combination of the bright phone light and darkness around them. His eyes were blurry even with his glasses on and the frustration of not being able to read only heightened as he made out the notification for his email which meant that Beatrice had managed to finish her work (allowing Logan to be able to go fix it) or that news of him yelling at a child made it around the office and now he was going to harassed by them as well.

All because of Remus Prince’s inability to shut up. 

 Patton threw a hand out and grabbed Logan’s phone from his hand and carelessly tossed it over both their shoulders to Remus.

“Patton!” Logan hissed, rubbing the irritated tears from his eyes. “Remus, give it back!”

Remus, however, was just staring at the phone in his lap like it was some type of bomb. Logan’s phone locked itself and the screen went dark, and still Remus sat inhumanely still in the seat, staring at it, with a type of blank expression that Logan oftentimes related to their coworkers when Logan asked them to perform any sort of math without a calculator.

“Remus,” Logan said again.

Remus jerked at the sound of his voice, snapping out of whatever fit the phone had put him in almost meekly-- if Logan could describe anything Remus did as meekly without it being a blatant falsehood. “Meekly” itself had never seemed to be a word in Remus’s vocabulary which was another irritating fact about him that made Logan break out in figurative hives.

Logan knew how Remus was.

He knew Remus.

It didn’t matter that he had never talked to Remus before today, that his thinly veiled contempt for his coworkers kept him from being willing to stand in their presence more than he was being paid to, that this fake affair was the first stupid relationship of any kind he had gotten outside of Patton and his son since his last boyfriend had dumped him on the night he was going to propose and hadn’t he thought he’d known him too? Isn’t that what led to all this? 

It didn’t matter. 

Logan was smarter, now. Logan was better now. Logan was--

“I don’t…” Remus said, trailing off as he stared at the messages popping up on Logan’s phone and Logan wondered why it felt like his lungs had shrunk right in his chest. “I don’t think you should be reading these right now.”

“He definitely should not!” Patton said, with a very convincing amount of forced happiness. “Hold that for him will you, Remus? Oh and why do you think you’re going to get fired tomorrow?”

Remus looked up at Logan and then at Patton and then back at Logan, like Logan was supposed to know what that meant in addition to every other stupid look he’d given Logan all evening. Logan shoved his glasses up to his hairline and rubbed his aching eyes, and yet somehow that still didn’t fix the pounding in his head or the exhaustion hollowing out his bones. It also didn’t make Remus disappear from the backseat, which was equally annoying, even though Logan hadn’t truly thought he was a shared apparition for him and Patton.

“You didn’t mention anything about today to your… what are you a fuck buddy?” Remus said.

And Patton laughed. 

Logan grabbed the door handle and yanked on it, but of course the ridiculous safety locks were engaged, and Logan had spent far too many sober years getting locked in this car to try to puzzle out the broken locking system in order to drunkenly throw himself out of the car. He was not in the habit of wishing for miracles, or even believing in deities, but he imagined that some powerful entity was finding ruining Logan’s life to be semi enjoyable.

“See this is why I can’t fire him!” Patton said through giggles and Logan thought maybe he was being addressed for this. Patton met Remus’s gaze through the rearview mirror and shook the last bit of water from his damp hair. “You make everything so entertaining!”

“What?”

Logan grit his teeth and yanked on the door handle again. “Remus, meet Mr. Hart, the CEO and your boss. Also put on your seatbelt.”

Remus blinked at them both, leaning between the seats and definitely not putting on his seatbelt. Logan counted backward from ten, reminding himself that one of the hiring requirements for Patton’s company has always been must be the stupid beyond belief. He’d known for a while that his coworkers were idiots on a good day, hazards to his health on bad ones, and yet somehow in the whirlwind of the day he’s had, Logan had forgotten that Remus counted as a coworker still.

“I’m not… getting fired?” Remus said, acting much like a computer after being turned on. “Why do you know my name then?”

Patton shrugged, flicking on his blinker to change lanes before the next light. “You have interesting ideas for your advertising strategy! Of course I would know your name! I’m sorry about vetoing that last one. I know Logan liked it, but I wanted to stick to the family-as-a-whole angle.”

“Patton,” Logan warned with an edge.

“Logan liked…?” Remus echoed, before turning towards Logan with a look of bewilderment that annoyed Logan far more than it had any right to. “You actually look at my shit?”

“Put on your seatbelt, Remus,” he said, because wasn’t it obvious that Logan looked at his things? Before the whole Robot incident Logan hadn’t had a problem with Remus at all: he was effective and efficient and the rumors were irritating but below him to indulge in. Before Remus had dragged him figuratively kicking and screaming into this mess, Logan approved the budgets that came with the projects Remus created.

He still did that, just with more anger than before. Petty feelings for Remus himself aside, his work was objectively good. 

Logan knew that about him.

“So!” Patton said over both of them, with his signature grin that Logan suspected he would still be wearing even if Logan decided to kill him right now. It must be the by-product of being controlled by rodents running on a wheel. “How was your volunteer work Remus?”

Remus froze in the back seat, going unnaturally still again. “Are you some kind of stalker-- uh sir?”

“Will you knock that off?” Logan snapped, which only made Remus’s shoulders jump straight to his ears. “And put on your seatbelt.”

“Just curious!” Patton said, ignoring Logan entirely. “Darlene is a good friend of mine! I make sure to send monthly donations to the organization since I don’t have a lot of free time to jump over and help.”

Remus didn’t say anything to that. He swallowed audibly and leaned back against the seat, dragging fingers through his wet hair and then tucked his arms in his own armpits. Logan pressed a palm to his forehead watching the street lights bend from behind his eyelids because that was easier than staring at Remus act like Patton was trying to pull his teeth out.

“You actually do volunteer work?” Logan said. “You don’t seem like the type.”

“Ha,” Remus said without any inflection. Logan thought that was the quietest that he had ever been. Where was that stupid ass smirk? Where was the stubbornness that pushed back against everything? Where was that loud voice and that confidence?

“Put on your seatbelt,” Logan said again.

“Why do you care if I wear the belt or not?”

“Remus put on your seatbelt or, so help me Newton, I will climb back there and put it on for you, myself!”

The air simmered from the acid in his tone, making the silence figurative chafe against his ribs. Remus stared at him, blinking slowly, with the street lights casting roving shadows on his face. His dark eyes were just so-- so--

Logan dug his nails into his palm. Why was it Remus Prince could make him feel like this? What gave him the right?

“It’s okay!” Patton said, setting the car to park. “We’re here anyway!”

Logan reached up and pulled his glasses back onto his face properly, but it still took him a moment to realize that they were near a bunch of townhouses, double parked outside one that Logan had considered moving into all those years ago when he had first been looking for an apartment for after college.

Remus too, apparently needed a moment to recognize the area. “We… are at my apartment? Holy shit, you are a stalker.”

Patton giggled, flashing Remus with his blinding smile and reached back to pick up Logan’s phone from his hands. “Thank you so much, kiddo! We’ll wait until you get inside all safe and sound, and I’ll see you tomorrow!”

“You will not,” Logan said. “Tomorrow you have a business deal two hours away to complete and if you miss it--”

Patton stretched back in his seat and let out a hugely exaggerated yawn. “But they’re so boring! Maybe I should bring Janus with me. He always makes my business deals entertaining. I love when he sets his snake on people. He looks so happy and he laughs and--”

Logan squeezed his eyes closed and recited the first twenty digits of pi in his head to keep from grabbing Patton’s squirrel run brain and slamming it into the steering wheel.

“Homicide is wrong,” Logan said.

“I’ll help you vouch for insanity,” Remus said. “I mean, tied together through a murder, and possibly hiding a body is much more juicy than a fake marriage that’s falling apart. We’d be the talk of the office.”

“They would not find any body that I hid,” Logan said. “Nobody would.”

Remus opened his mouth to say something more, but whatever it is he decided against it. Instead he slid over the seats and kicked open the door right behind Logan and stepped out into the night air.

“Thanks for the ride, Mr. Hart, sir,” he said, strangely formal, then squinted and added, “Daddy?” 

“I’m not firing you, Remus,” Patton said. “No matter what you call me!”

Logan ran his tongue over his teeth counting each and every one. Remus looked at him but ultimately finally adhered to that whole shutting up thing. He closed the door to Patton’s blue punch buggy and started towards the door to the apartments.

“Oh,” Remus said, and turned back at the last second. He knocked his knuckles on Logan’s window a few inches from where Logan’s gaze fixed itself on a light. Patton apparently knew more about what to do than Logan because he pressed the window lowering button and Remus reached his entire arm into the window to drop a small object right into Logan’s lap.

Logan caught it mainly due to reaction rather than skill and his skin tingled at the familiar item. Even in the dark, Logan’s fingers roll over the shape of the ring that had always reminded him of the worst day of his life. It was still warm from being in Remus’s pocket.

“I think that should stay with you,” Remus said, like it wasn’t a big deal at all. “You know… for the next boytoy you take to your sex dungeon or whatever nerds like you do on weekends.”

And then he turned around and fled towards the apartment building. Patton turned off the hazard lights and slipped back into traffic and Logan wondered if he would be polite enough to not comment if Logan started crying right then and there.

His throat felt swollen, his tongue too big for his mouth, and the headache thrummmmmmed painfully. 

Logan knew Remus Prince.

“You know that Remus Prince isn’t gonna be like him,” Patton said to fill the silence.

“Remus Prince isn’t like anyone.” Logan didn’t whine. To whine would be unbecoming. And childish. And embarrassing.

So Logan didn’t whine and Patton mercifully didn't call him out on his not-whining.

And neither of them mention the choked tone that Logan had for the rest of the night.

When Logan had seen his boss after he made Virgil cry, he hadn’t expected it to end up with him clutching that ring like a lifeline, but as he ran his fingers around the rim, he wondered if it had fit on Remus’s finger at all.

(Part Five)

[imonthinice]

The Criminal Psychology Majors, Jason Todd x Fem!Reader Part 2/?

Word Count: 2k

Author’s Note: Y/N - your name, A/N - any name (your best friend’s name)

Warnings: Swearing, no beta bitch we die like Jason Todd

Welcome Back! I have, once again, written more of Jason Todd because he’s a fucking teddy bear and I love him.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10) (Part 11) (Part 12) (Part 13) (Part 14) (Part 15) (Part 16) (Part 17) (Part 18) (Part 19) (Part 20)

Y/N and Jason both returned from that date feeling all giddy about each other, but trying their dammed-est to not let their hopes get too high about the other. However, that was extremely, extremely hard for Jason to do with family like Dick in his life. It’s like coming home to a hopeless romantic of a shipper as a nosey bitch. Lovingly, of course. No one’s like Dick.

“So, Y/N?” Dick asked Jason immediately as he entered the Manor.

“Yeah, what about her?”

“So, many questions: Was that a date? If no, will there be a date? Is there going to be a second date? Do you like her? Do you think we’ll like her? Does she know you’re Bruce Wayne’s son?” Dick rambled at his little brother.

“Okay hold on god damn, yes it was a date, yes there will be a second, yeah I think she’s cool and I like her, slow your roll Circus Boy, I don’t know when she’ll meet you lot, I don’t think she knows who I am, she’s from Metropolis, so I don’t think she knows the Waynes well.” Jason answered Dick with confidence.

“So you like her!” Steph mocked as she entered the hallway, probably heard her brothers talking about Y/N, so she wanted in on it. Somehow she had evaded Jason’s gaze though, so she startled him immensely.

“Jeez, how many of you will scare me today? And yeah, dumbass, I like her. But I’m doing this magical thing called ‘Not getting my god damn hopes up about her since it’s only the first date’ you hopeless romantic fucks.” Jason barked at them.

“Yeah, but you love us.” Dick said.

“That might be true, but your meddling is only going to cause chaos, Dick and Steph.”

“What about my meddling, Jay?” Bruce asked. Once again, he had heard the talking about Jason’s new crush and decided he’d parent the boy on his girl. Jason jumped out of his skin, because, he had once again, not seen Bruce enter the hallway despite his best efforts to not get startled again.

“You, are going to give me a heart attack.”

“Looks like this girl let your guard down.”

“Can we just go on patrol and stop badgering me?” Jason muttered under his breath.

“Nope!” Barbara exclaimed. Clearly, there’s a pattern with Waynes escaping Jason’s attempts to not get startled today, “We’re still going to badger you, Jay,” Barbara finished.

---------------------------------------

When Y/N made her way back to A/N, she couldn’t help but turn her radio as loud as she could and try to take the longer journey back home. Pieces of quiet and tranquility always surprised and drew her in. Like a good book on a Sunday morning before the rest of the bustling city of Gotham or Metropolis awoke itself. If New York never sleeps, she thought, then what the hell do Gotham and Metropolis call themselves. She laughed.

There were a few good things about Gotham, like the people you’d meet on the street at 4am were some of the weirdest but kindest people you’d ever know. It’s like the city radiated off of the energy of the people in it, and in spite of the villains constantly hitting the city with their worst, somehow everyone never let it get to them. It was admirable. Metropolis was the same in that avenue, but it didn’t feel like the cold Gotham streets.

Y/N thought Jason was one of the kinder people she had met in her travels and classes. And she never thought that she’d meet someone she liked this much in her criminal psychology class of all places, but hey, the universe had different pen strokes for her.

She went and parked her car in the driveway of the rental house she and A/N shared. Only the two of them shared it, but if either of them lost their jobs, they’d be looking for another roommate immediately. Pulling out her bag which was full of notes written by Jason, the original notes written by her, and binders upon binders of criminal cases she was looking into at the time, she would get out of her car and begin walking to her door.

Of course, like most people, she would kick off her heels the minute she walked through the doors of the house, to which, A/N paused her music and went to go question Y/N about Jason.

“So, you know how this works, babes, lay it on me, how’s hottie? Is he kind?” A/N pondered.

“He’s so kind, he paid the printing fees for my notes and rewrote all of them, I guess it’s a system for us now. I write the notes in class while he tries to take it all in, we meet up, and he rewrites them all and pays the printing fee.”

“He paid the fee?! At that college?” A/N said, completely shocked.

“Is that shocking?”

“Well, the printing fees are so fucking expensive, hun. Mans must have daddy’s money to do that.”

“Really? Well regardless money doesn’t matter, he’s kind and I can make a name for myself if I graduate at the top of my class.” She said, fully believing this. Smart woman. She knew she could do it.

“I believe in you, do you have homework tonight? I can make dinner for you so you can study.” A/N offered.

“Nah, I’m just going to go file my notes and shower, I’ll come join you and help after.”

“Well, don’t drown.” A/N joked.

“Do you know how much effort that would take?” She laughed as she walked towards her room, once she got there she pulled out her papers and began the slow filing process of them into her desk.

About 2 minutes into this, she got a text:

Hey stranger.

If someone had a heart monitor hooked up to her, they could have bet their last penny on her heart skipping a beat. 

Hey Jason. She sent back.

I had a fun time today with you, do you want to do the same thing tomorrow, I could use your fast writing skills to get by in classes. And I just like talking to you. What do you say?

She thought. Maybe something legit is here, hopefully I’m not just used for notes. She worried about that, since she was just a tad insecure about him. He was pretty. She knew she was a looker, sure. But he was something more.

I would love to go on another budget date with you.

Budget? Actually yeah, I guess it is budget lol. Maybe next time I’ll actually take you out to lunch like I said I would.

I, honestly, completely forgot you said you’d take me to lunch, I was just having fun as we were talking.

Me too. You’re a hoot.

A hoot? That’s a book nerd statement if I’ve ever heard one. She joked. She didn’t actually know if he was a book nerd at this time, but they had been joking the entire time when she was filing her notes. She was no where near done filing her notes, Jason was a distraction from that, it wasn’t that important, she would end up finishing it later. She just liked some semblance of organization so she didn’t have to put it off.

I’ll have you know I’ve probably read more books than you.

Well book nerds are cute.

Eventually the messages from Jason and Y/N started slowing, Y/N assumed he was tired or working so she took her chance to file her notes and start running her shower.

Sorry Y/N, this has been fun but I’m going to get really sparse with replies, I got work to do.

That’s fine! Where do you work, by the way?

And she got into the shower. Halfway through her shower her phone pinged, she assumed Jason was texting back, so when she finished her shower, before she even got her towel on, she decided to answer him:

I work at Wayne Enterprises with my dad. It’s quite fun.  He had said.

Oh! I’ve heard the owner of Wayne Enterprises is a lovely man, have you met him? She asked him back.

And within an instant, he answered.

He’s my dad, so yeah.

You’re the Jason Todd? Heir to the Wayne Manor and Wayne Enterprises? She started thinking back on what A/N had said. Yep, she thought, Daddy’s money indeed. She started to slip into her pajamas, which were literally a mess and not put together, because this is the real world, not every girl has matching sets, when he answered:

I hope that doesn’t change much, Y/N.

Explains the camera I saw but didn’t mention, and that’s about it.

You saw the cameras? Damn it. I tried to shield you, they may have pictured us together, sorry.

Worth it for a lovely date. I’ve seen worse, my mum works with Clark Kent, who I guess you probably know since he’s Bruce’s best friend, and the paparazzi loves to take Clark’s picture.

Oh yeah, Uncle Clark. Yeah, the pap love him. You get used to it. I guess you somewhat know my family lol.

Nah, that’s about all I know. Wasn’t really interested in drama about you lot because it’s just not my business. Probably not a shared ideal with the general public.

She finished getting dressed and went to go cook with A/N, and share the news.

----------------------------------

“Girl! You were right about daddy’s money oh my god,” Y/N said when she entered the kitchen.

“Go on,” A/N urged.

“You know Jason Todd? Guess what. That’s hottie from Crim Psych 101.”

“Are you serious? That’s insane. You’re probably plastered across the internet right now for that date,” A/N laughed, “are you scared to date a famous man?” She asked.

“No, he’s really sweet and if this gets serious, I can just block out the flashes.”

The two of them laughed and started cooking. A/N was Latina, so, of course, she was in charge to cook most nights. But Y/N made killer desserts and pizza. Tonight was fajitas, so Y/N kind of sat bat and let A/N do her thing. Trying to know more so one day A/N wouldn’t have to do all the work, Y/N went onto the internet and the first thing she saw?

Globally Revered Son of a Millionaire, Jason Todd, out on a DATE with a Mystery Girl?

Like clockwork, Jason answered:

I guess I have a lot to teach you, and I hope you haven’t been on the internet recently.

I have. Globally Revered Son of a Millionaire. She texted back.

Fuck those damn tabloids. He said, she couldn’t help but agree, the paparazzi seem like they’re very invested in stories that aren’t theirs to tell.

Can’t agree with you more. We should put on a show for them tomorrow, actually give them something to write about.

I like your thinking.

You’ve opened up a lot today.

Is it your turn now?

What do you want to know? You asked him before turning to A/N.

“Tabloids talk too much,” you sneered at her.

“Cat should get their tongue and choke on it,” she finished, “did you at least look cute in their pics?” she asked.

“Somehow. Wasn’t even posing,” Y/N finished.

“Well, food’s done, are you still hungry?”

“Always.”

--------------------------------------

Jason turned to his brother, Dick, Nightwing, and said, 

“She knows now.”

“That you’re rich?” he asked.

“Yeah, I guess I have to be more wary of her now,” he sighed, “I hope she’s not in it for the Wayne fortune.”

“Doubt she is if she agreed the tabloids can suck it, Red Hood.”

“I pray you’re right.”

He then drew his guns and fired at the ground underneath their laest venture into crime-fighting. This was gonna be one hell of a ride Y/N embarked on, not even knowing what she was getting into.

[lovely-jily]

"well my legs are jello, so i'd have to disagree"

ok this definitely is no where close to my best writing, i originally wrote it when i was like 15 and i didn't want to start over so i did a shitty revision job. regardless, please enjoy this slightly shitty fic :)

"Alright, everyone. Let's take a shot to start us off," Sirius held up the bottle of firewhisky. It was another Friday night, and tonight the James and Lily got their friends together for a classic game of truth or dare. However, in their version, you take a shot of firewhisky for every dare, and for every truth, a person drinks a little bit of veritaserum, the truth potion. It was brewed by Remus and Sirius (who were quite brilliant if they actually applied themselves to their work), and the ingredients were stolen by none other than Mary and Marlene. James had offered to go with Lily to do it under the cloak, but Lily swore she would never go under that thing with him. Sirius managed to bewitch the potion so that it only lasted a couple minutes, just long enough to answer the truth.

It was the middle of their sixth year, and Lily and James had gotten to the point where they got along quite well, both stubborn and oblivious enough to refuse to think about the apparent tension and feelings between them. Lily was refusing to admit that she was attracted to the git, much less falling for him, and James didn't think that she would ever like him in that way. Regardless, everyone knew that they were bound to get together, and when they did, it would be a historically firey moment.

The group did as they were told, passing the bottle around the circle and taking small swigs. James tried to ignore how Lily's skin glowed in the firelight, and Lily tried to ignore how James's hands looked with the bottle in them.

"First off- James," Sirius faced the boy, who messed up his hair as per usual, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," James said dauntingly, leaning towards Sirius and smirking.

"Okay. Kiss Dorcus," Sirius said, handing James the bottle.

James took a swift swig, and Lily felt both his and Dorcus's nervous eyes on her. Set in her ways of defiance, Lily gave the subtlest of nods to Dorcus to give her permission and then tried her hardest to fight off the feelings of jealousy as James's hand reached Dorcus's cheek, kissing her softly. After a couple seconds, James pulled away and looked again at Lily, whose face seemed a little too red for someone who "wasn't interested in the slightest for a single date, you insufferable twat." Regardless, James smirked at the idea that Lily didn't seem to like him kissing other girls. Maybe his friends were a bit right after all...

"I've just about kissed everyone here now," James said pridefully. Of course, he was proud of something like that.

"Of course you have" Lily rolled her eyes, feeling the slight buzz of firewhisky.

"Yeah, we kissed one time," Sirius smirked as the boys laughed, "It was last year after a gaome. Best day of my life."

"And we accidentally kissed, so I don't think it even counts," Peter ran a hand through his blond hair.

"He came out of nowhere for ours. I was giving him an answer, and suddenly his lips were on mine," Remus shrugged, a soft smirk on his face.

"I got excited. We had been working on a figured out a terribly difficult problem in Arithmancy," James said, a happy smile on his face. James was many things: annoying, obnoxious, prideful, but one thing that Lily really admired about him was how much he loved all of his friends. He was insanely loyal and treated them like family. She knew he would die for them, and Lily couldn't help but wonder what it would be like to be someone that James would die for.

"Yeah, I'm a super good kisser in case anyone was wondering," James joked as he looked at Lily, who failed miserably at hiding her blush.

"I think it's your turn to ask," Lily said, trying to fight the intense attraction she felt at that moment. As if it didn't keep her up at night and distracted during her classes...

"Alright. Truth or dare, Lily," James said, winking at her, "I can think of a few good dares."

"Looks like I'll have to pick truth then," Lily said, rolling her eyes.

"You're no fun," Mary elbowed her gently.

Everyone laughed, Lily included. She then sighed, grabbed the bottle of veritaserum and took a shot, the honey tasting liquid burning her throat slightly.

"Who's the most attractive one here?" James asked after she swallowed, Besides Pete, of course."

"Oh James, we all know I'm the prettiest here," said a very offended looking Sirius.

"James," Lily sputtered out uncontrollably and then immediately blushed.

Everyone had a physical reaction to what she said, whether it was Marlene's giggle, Sirius's gregarious laughter, or Mary's "Oh, shit!" Everyone was shocked at the sound of James's name coming from her mouth, including Lily herself. James was smirking, his suspicions slightly confirmed. While this didn't mean that she liked him, per se, it at least told that she enjoyed looking at him a little bit. That was a step in the right direction.

"Shit," she said, still blushing, "You're never gonna let me forget that I told you how hot you are."

This got a loud roar from everyone, and James smiled wide, "What can I say, Evans, I can't help it. You know it's quite difficult being this sexy all the time. Don't even get me started on everyone who just uses me for my insanely hot bod-"

"Shut up," she said, glaring at him, the veritaserum was beginning to wear off, but not before her following sentence, "Just because you are insanely attractive does not mean that I like you at all. You're still insanely difficult to be around."

"Well, you admitted you're attracted to me so I think we should give you veritaserum more often," James winked at her.

"Alright, let's keep this moving," Peter said, clearly as over this situation as Lily was.

Lily inhaled and then looked at Mary, "Truth or dare?"

"Hmm, I think we have far too much sexual tension in this room for me to be comfortable doing a dare, so," Mary smiled, "I pick truth for my own dignity."

"You're boring," Marlene snickered as everyone laughed.

"I'd rather be boring than have to snog any of these idiots."

"That's rude," Remus said, trying to hide his smirk as he and the rest of the boys tried their best to show their offence. The looks of pouting and hurt went right over Mary and Lily's head, though.

Lily and Mary giggled as she asked her if Mary had ever had a sex dream about anyone. Mary laughed, saying that she, Sirius, and Dorcus had a threesome in her dreams the other night. Sirius shuddered, saying that there were "too many boobs" involved.

After a few more rounds, Sirius was dared to snog Lily.

So that is how she ended up straddling Sirius on the couch, giggling like a maniac. She was feeling slightly tipsy, and something in her was excited at the idea of maybe making James a little jealous.

"Can I be honest with you?" Sirius whispered in her ear.

"Of course, Pads," She smiled. While Sirius was just as obnoxious as James was, she honestly enjoyed his company. She had gotten to know him as he usually hung out with Remus as they worked on Prefect paperwork. He had a sweet side that he rarely showed.

"Clearly, I don't even like women. I'm only doing this in hopes that you and James stop dancing around each other and just fuck or something," He smirked, still whispering.

Lily glanced over at James, who was biting his lips, scowling slightly. So he was jealous already, and they hadn't even kissed yet. Good to know.

"I doubt that this will work if that's what you're trying to achieve," She looked at him.

He shrugged, "Worth a shot. Besides, I have a theory that we're the best kissers here, so how about we find out?"

"Sounds great to me," She said as she leaned in, her lips softly to his. Sirius's hand found its way to her lower back, the other on her jaw. She felt his tongue tap her bottom lip, and she copied his motion, her hands entangled in his hair.

His hands traced down her spine and on her waist as she pulled him closer. He kissed down her jaw and neck, and she caught a glimpse of James halfway across the room, frowning and looking at his hands. While Lily was kissing Sirius, all she could think about was his best friend. About how it would feel to run her hands through his hair and down his back. How his stubble would feel against her skin. She imagined his hands on her body-

This was ridiculous. Lily forced herself to focus on what was happening currently instead of daydreaming about that idiot.

Sirius's lips returned to her's, and she felt his grip tighten as the kiss turned more passionate. He moved his hand down her waist and to her bare thigh, touching and squeezing as he went. She moved her hands from his hair to his ears and jaw, feeling as they rhythmically moved together, tongues slightly teasing here and there. He kept one hand on her thigh and then moved the other from her waist to her butt, squeezing softly and then back up to her thigh, causing a laugh from both of them.

"Did you like that?" Lily asked, smirking.

"You got quite the ass, Evans," Sirius giggled.

They walked back to the circle, both still laughing. James wouldn't meet her eye, as the fire next to him was suddenly the most interesting thing in the room.

"I was too sober for that," Lily smiled and took another swig of the drink.

"Agreed," Sirius said as she handed him the bottle and took a drink. As he exhaled, he turned to James, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare," he said, looking a little annoyed still. While he didn't like what Sirius did, he knew that it was an attempt to get him to act on his feelings with Lily.

"Take off Lily's shirt," Sirius said, smirking before adding, "But do it as seductively as you can."

The group giggled and gasped while Lily's whole body heated up, "why am I getting brought into all of these?"

"You can say no," Dorcus took another shot of firewhisky.

"Well, I didn't say that I didn't want to," Lily mumbled slightly and stood up. She watched James take another shot and then walk over to her, swallowing to try to hide his nervousness.

"How about this," he grabbed her biceps and guided her to the corner of the room. Her back hit the wall, and their faces were close, less than an inch apart, and the smell of firewhisky and cologne filled Lily's nostrils. Feeling his hot breath on her lips made her feel things she both wanted and didn't want at the same time. Lily focused her eyes on the table in front of her. This was where she usually sat to do her homework or Prefect paperwork.

"This place seems familiar, doesn't it?" James whispered as his cold hands traced her biceps, making her hot skin even hotter. Although he was doing well covering it, his hands were shaking slightly. The only thing separating skin on skin contact was a small, thin layer of Lily's shirt sleeve, rolled to the elbows like James's.

Lily looked up at the ceiling. He was too much of a temptation, and looking at him, particularly his lips, would make her want for him grow exponentially, and it was already hard enough to fight her feelings off without inhaling his cologne and breath.

"This is where I do my Prefect paperwork with Remus."

"Right. And here's my plan," James said, still whispering as he moved his mouth to her ear, causing chills to cascade down her body, "From now on, every time you sit down to do your work, you'll look at the exact spot that I made you want me."

Lily swallowed as she moved her head straight forward, inhaling as his hands moved to her waist and hooked in the belt loops of her skirt, "How do you know that I'd want you? Or that this memory could possibly hinder my focus on my work?" she asked.

"Because now, every time you sit down to work here, you'll start to think of me instead," he rubbed his nose behind her ear as he slowly untucked her shirt, "and I think it's my turn to act as a distraction now."

Her breath hitched as he moved his hands onto her bare waist. They were calloused and traced their way from her stomach to her lower back repeatedly.

"Also," he added, inhaling and bringing his face in front of hers again, his voice dropping its seductive tone, "I'm sorry."

"S-sorry?" Lily sputtered. It was harder and harder to remember how to breathe normally, how to think. She knew he was right, partly. Lately, whenever she looked at him, she was starting to realize how he had matured. How much he cared about people and how much she admired him. She hated change, and perhaps that's why she hated how she felt about him. He was already enough of a distraction, and so this moment was only going to make it worse.

He brought his hands out from under her shirt to her hips. She was fighting to not reflect how she was feeling inside, fighting to keep herself from closing her eyes and biting her lip, to release under his grasp or run her hands over his body. She was fighting the instinct to release her head back and exhale harshly.

"I don't want you to feel objectified. I would rather do something like this at a time where we both wanted it," James said, moving his head to the crook of her shoulder and then to her ear again, "when it's not really forced."

"Well," Lily bit her lip. She was caving. James knew how to tease a girl, "Who says I don't want this?"

She didn't have much time to wonder if that was a good or bad decision to say what she just said. She felt James stop breathing on her ear before the corners of his mouth turned up slightly. He brought his lips to her ear and whispered, "I knew it."

He softly nibbled her ear, moving a hand up to her hair, moving it out of the way as he started planting small butterfly kisses down her neck. She tightly gripped her skirt, forcing her hands to stay stuck to her side.

"Evans," his kisses turned longer, more passionate, and his hand was on her neck, gripping her hair and the other on her waist. She closed her eyes, fought to breathe and then bit her mouth shut, "You're a bit tense."

"O-oh?" She stuttered as his hand moved from her hair to her jaw.

He nibbled the skin at the bottom of her neck, near the front of her shirt.

"And we haven't even gotten close to what the dare was actually about."

She had forgotten entirely about the dare. She also had forgotten there was a small group across the room; it felt like they were the only two people left in the world. She often felt that way with James.

Her hands were clinging to her skirt for dear life, knowing that if they were released for a second, they would be tangled in his brown curls.

"Well, this is just-" She inhaled every few words, "This is just basic- basic human instinct."

James moved his hand from her hip to her bare waist again, squeezing softly and making her fists clench tighter, "Oh, for sure. nothing else."

She closed her eyes and inhaled sharply as he moved his mouth to the top button, undoing it with his teeth and then kissing her chest. He rubbed his nose up her neck as she felt his hot breath breathe against her ear.

"Fuck it," she said, releasing her skirt and bringing her hands to his muscular shoulders, feeling one of the many benefits that quidditch brought James. She really didn't stand a chance resisting him in the first place and honestly felt proud that she had pushed through for that long.

"Hh, hey," he whispered and nibbled her ear again, making her shudder in his grasp. He snaked his hand from her waist over the top of her shirt and undid the second button, "I think we should play this more often."

"I'm sure you do," Lily ran a hand to his messy hair, grabbing a fist full and then released after a second. Her fingers played with his curls while the other moved to his broad back.

He kissed down her neck again, softly nibbling here and there as he made his way to the third button. As his arms moved to her shoulders, he again undid the button with his teeth, "I also haven't done this before, so I hope you know that I'm feeling pretty proud of myself."

"You're pretty talkative," Lily replied. The third button was undone, and he kissed the top of her cleavage, making her instinctively grip his shirt and hair.

"And you're pretty hot," he brought his face close to hers, and they looked at each other. They were both sticky with sweat and had pink faces that showed how quite excited they were. Lily's lip was in between her teeth, and she brought her hand out of his hair and to his neck.

"You're a bit tense, Potter," she joked as she felt his arm muscles, feeling how nervous he actually was, although she found it quite cute.

"Well, my legs are jello, so I would have to say that I disagree," James said, smiling. He brought his face back to behind her ear. His hands found their way to her neck and thigh, softly massaging each.

Lily chuckled as he ducked down, kissing her chest and undoing another button, but instead of bringing his mouth to her skin, which was more cleavage, he moved on to the next, crouching down slightly. She brought her hands to his hair, both of them getting tangled in his messy brown mop. She figured that since her bra was beginning to be exposed, he wanted to stay as respectful as possible. Her stomach felt a flutter at that thought. He respected her enough to not use her for her body... While that shouldn't be such the big deal that it was, she still smiled at it.

He moved his way down, undoing every button as he went. As he reached the bottom, he brought both of his hands to her waist, making her breath hitch as his cold skin touched her sticky skin. He planted a small kiss just above her belly button, then slowly straightened up, eyes closed as his nose and forehead never broke contact with her skin.

When his face was close to hers, she moved her hands from his hair to his neck. His lips were parted slightly, and her lips tingled as his hot breath hit them.

"Lily," he breathed softly.

Her breath hitched, and her stomach twisted when he said her name. This was a normal reaction when he called her by her first name anyway, as it was more sincere; however, when he said her name like that...

"Y-Yes?" she responded, closing her eyes. Her fingers softly played with his hair.

"You are so beautiful."

The moment those words breathed onto Lily's lips, it felt like everything stopped. Time, her intense heartbeat, her breathing. The only thing she could do was smile softly and put one of her hands on his cheek. His hands felt up her bare skin, over her bra and chest before going over her shoulders, sliding under her shirt. Finally sliding her shirt off her shoulders and arms and onto the floor.

She moved her head into the crease of his neck, not surprised at her feeling of disappointment, "I guess we need to return to everyone else now."

"Oh yeah," he said, wrapping his arms around her, "I completely forgot about them."

[bxngchxn]

mr. big shot || s. changbin

characters:  seo changbin + female reader

words: 3.2k

genre:  smut, some fluff, angst if you squint

warnings: dom!Changbin, brat!reader, slight degradation, orgasm denial, oral (both parties giving + receiving), unprotected penitrative sex (use protection always!), general hard dom themes, Changbin is kinda conceited at first but it’ll be ok don’t worry

This is a piece of fiction and is not suitable for anyone UNDER THE AGE OF 18.

summary: You run into the hot shot producer on campus at a frat party, who seems to take a liking to you, the only person who doesn’t care.

You don’t even like frat parties.

The LED lights that are somehow always a dark blue, the more than slightly used furniture that has no doubt been passed down a generation or two, not to mention the obnoxious antics of drunk, stressed college kids? Not your thing. In fact, the only reason why you were here was because of your roommate Rose, who had her eye on Bang Chan, a member of the frat who’s kitchen you were currently sitting in. By yourself, with a drink in hand. It isn’t even good alcohol, either; just some sad excuse of an Amaretto Sour that was not even giving you a nice buzz.

It’s around midnight at this point, and the party is in full swing. Couches in the living room were pushed against the walls to ensure ample room for dancing, sweaty bodies clinging to each other and grinding to the beat playing out of the speakers set up in the main room. You look around the room and you see a few people you recognize from your classes, but most remain unfamiliar to you.

ADK (Alpha Delta Kappa) was one of, if not the biggest (and most popular) frat on campus. Their parties were always crowded, mixing top 40s hits with some original music that the music production majors of the house compose themselves. The parties almost always ended up lasting until sunrise, and you can only take pity on their neighbors, who have to deal with the noise so late into the night.

You, however, had no intention for staying that long. Getting annoyed, you pushed your way through the sea of people in search of Rose, to let her know you were going home. As you walk through the crowd, finally spotting your roommate and heading her way, someone grabs you by the arm and spins you around to face them.

“Can I help you?” you ask, attitude through the roof as if someone thought they could just grab you like that. “Well, you sure seem to be in a hurry. I’m just trying to keep you company,” the man says with a charming (read: aggravating) smile. You look up at him in annoyance and also confusion. You’re pretty sure you’ve never seen this guy in your life.

He looked to be one of those snobby rich kids; his hair dyed silver and styled oh-so-perfectly, complemented by a button down that you could clearly tell was designer. His shoulders were broad, and his skin a glowing tan that actually would’ve made him look like the sun itself, if his smile wasn’t so kniving.

“I’m..sorry, do I know you?” You ask, and his expression goes from smug to shocked in under three seconds. 

“You don’t know who I am?” He asks, unconvinced. You couldn’t believe the arrogance coming from this guy. Who even is he?

 “Yeah, I have no idea who you are. Sorry, maybe you mistook me for someone else.” you say. You try to leave, but his grip is still on your wrist, and you’re forced to turn back round. Wanting nothing more than to clock the man standing in front of you, you huff and give him a piercing glare. “Let go of me,” you insist.

 He smirks and let’s go of your wrist, but for some reason the look he’s giving you makes you freeze on the spot. “My name is Changbin. Give me one dance sweetheart, that’s all I’m asking,” he says, his eyes never leaving yours.

Changbin...you were racking your brain trying to figure out why that name sounded so familiar to you. And then it hit you.

Seo Changbin is a member of AKD, and a friend of Chan’s. You figured he must be the Spear B that everyone on campus raves about, and now you know where his cocky demeanor is coming from. Girls and guys alike fall for all 3 members of 3racha. You had never met Changbin before, so it was no surprise you didn’t recognize him right away. Up until now, he was almost like a piece of folklore; everyone had a story about him but you were pretty sure he didn’t exist.

This would be a bad idea. Giving into him. You knew it would be. But regardless, he was attractive, and it doesn’t hurt to have a little fun every once in a while, right?

He watched your resolve slowly crumble as he stuck out his hand. Taking it, he pulls you onto the dance floor (well...the spot of the living room that was turned into one anyway) and doesn’t hesitate to turn you around, feeling your back come into contact with his broad chest.

There’s an upbeat pop song playing through the DJ speakers, and you start to sway your hips along to the beat while trying to distract yourself from the arousal that's starting to creep in as you feel Changbin’s arms snake around your waist, pushing your hips against his. “I’m Y/N, by the way,” you say, remembering that you hadn’t even told him your name. 

You can feel his breath ghosting against your neck as he brings his mouth to your ear. “So, Y/N,” he asks, “you really didn’t recognize me did you?” he asked, the feign hurt in his tone making you roll your eyes. “You know, you’re not all that special Mr. Big Shot,” you say, chuckling under your breath.

“Hmm and how can you say that? This is the first time we’ve met, doll. Can’t think you’d know everything about me just yet.” he says, and the use of the nickname sets you on fire. His hips have started moving to match your own, and you would be lying if the pressure you were starting to feel on your lower back didn’t spur you on to tease him a little, moving your hips away from him now and again only to have him pull you right back, turning you around to face him this time.

 “Aaanddd where do you think you’re going?” He laughs, and you roll your eyes at him. “Does it look like I’m going anywhere?” you say as you start moving your hips again.

“Better lose the attitude baby, it’s gonna get you in trouble if you’re not careful,” he says, his eyes darkening as you wind your arms around his neck. “Will it now? No offense, but I don’t think you’ll be able to do much damage,” you say, although you can feel yourself breaking already as you have less than innocent thoughts running through your mind.

“Is that a challenge I hear?” he questions, raising an eyebrow at your antics. “Does it sound like one?” you snap back, anticipating his next move.

Before you know it, Changbin’s lips are on your neck, his grip tightening on your waist exponentially. “Just remember: you asked for it.” he says against your ear as he pulls you from the living room and down the hallway of the AKD house.

Once Changbin has you in his room, door locked, it’s game on. He immediately pushes you against the bedroom door and begins his attack on your neck once again. You want to keep your composure; make him think that you’re not that easy to break, wanting to make him work for it, but the way he moves his lips up your neck and finally to your lips is already making you want to surrender and let him have his way with you. He bites your bottom lip, asking for entrance which you immediately grant him. Kissing Changbin was different. It was red hot and every movement was making the knot of excitement in your stomach tighten.

His hands slip under your shirt, and the feeling of them on your bare skin has you letting out the tiniest whimper. He pulls away from your lips with a smirk. “There it is..I know you’re starting to break baby, why don’t you just be good for me and do as you’re told, huh?” He teases, lifting your shirt up to touch more of your skin. “Not a chance,” you tell him, although your voice is already sounding breathy. You move to touch him over his jeans, his cock already hard.

Changbin groans quietly and moves to grip your hair. He pulls your head back harshly, and laughs at the expression of pleasure on your face. “All I had to do was use a little force and you’re putty in my hands, baby.. I knew it. You like being bossed around don’t you?” He says, fingers moving under your skirt. “Answer me, slut.” He says, pulling your hair once more for good measure. “Yes sir,” you gasp, feeling every ounce of brat you had in you leaving your body.

 “That’s more like it,” he says, releasing your hair. “On your knees,” he orders, pushing your shoulders downward.

You immediately oblige, looking up at him with wide eyes as you undo his belt and pop the button of his jeans. Pulling his cock out from his underwear, you’re pleased with what you see. Changbin is surprisingly well endowed; long and rather thick, and you can’t help but imagine what he’ll feel like in your mouth.

Grabbing the base of his cock, you give kitten licks to the head, pink and enticing. You hear Changbin groan and you make eye contact with him. “Stop teasing doll, you won’t like the outcome,” he growls, and that’s enough for you to take him as far into your mouth as you can, tip hitting the back of your throat.

 You make sure to run your tongue along the underside of his cock, tracing the vein and making sure he feels you on every inch of him. You start off a steady pace, Changbin’s fingers pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail. You suddenly relax your throat and take all of him, gagging slightly as he slides down your throat. “Jesus Christ,” the man says as he feels your throat around him. “You’re so good at this,” he says breathily and the praise spurs you to continue.

 Before you even get the chance, Changbin is setting the pace, fucking into your throat. Tears stream down your face at the roughness of it all, but the moan you let out around his dick lets Changbin know that you’re doing just fine.

Pulling you off of his cock, he sighs. “As much as I would love to cum down that pretty throat of yours, doll, I have other plans.” He says, picking you up and immediately making his way to his bed, laying you down on the soft pillows rather roughly. He’s over you in an instant, taking your shirt off as well as his own, and letting his eyes roam over your chest and the pretty pink lace that adorns you.

“Hm, pink. It’s cute.” he says quietly and you blush, the compliment soft in contrast to the situation. You take a second to admire him, and it was just what you had imagined. Tan skin, muscles flexing as he’s moving over you. He lets his lips wander your collarbone, taking the skin into his mouth and sucking a dark purple spot that will definitely leave you thinking about him for days to come.

Taking one of your breasts in his hand, he enjoys the feeling of the lace under his hands. You arch your back slightly as he takes the nipple in between his fingers, twisting and pulling until it’s hard. He does the same to the other, and you almost want to start begging. It seems like he can read your mind as he moves you to sit up so he can take your bra off for you. He gets it in one try, and you’re not surprised. Once the piece of fabric is removed he replaces his fingers with his mouth, circling his tongue around your nipple and biting on it teasingly.

His kisses start trailing down your abdomen, sucking random marks into your skin that you know will end up bruising. You buck your hips up instinctively, silently begging for him to just touch you. Placing a hand on your stomach to hold your hips down, Changbin settles in between your legs, leaving kisses on your inner thighs as he pushes your skirt up. 

“Changbin,” you breathe, hoping he’ll just get the hint. “Yes, doll? What is it?” he says, opting to just take your skirt off, revealing the matching panties underneath. You lay there, refusing to beg and trying to hold onto whatever resolve you had left. “I won’t know what you want unless you use your words, baby. Come on,” he says, continuing the kisses on your thighs, fingers playing with the elastic of your underwear. Huffing, you finally give in.

“Please Changbin, I need you” you begin to beg, and he looks up at you. The look on his face set your insides on fire, you don’t even mind the embarrassment you feel in the pit of your stomach as you beg for him. 

 “You need me? Need me where, baby? Here?” he says, his lips moving closer to your core but not where you truly want them. “Need your tongue on my clit. Please,” you ask quietly and he finally pulls your panties down, throwing them somewhere. “I don’t know doll, doesn’t sound like you really want it,” he chuckles, and your cheeks go red as you realize just what he wants to hear.

“Please Changbin, I need your tongue so bad. I promise I will be so good..just..just please,” you basically whine the latter half of the sentence, hoping it’ll get your point across.

 “Now, was that so bad?” He says and finally licks a stripe up your clit, you moan out loud at the sensation, finally getting what you want.

Changbin is relentless, lips and tongue moving in a way that you have never experienced before. Switching from flat licks against your heat to small kitten licks against your clit. You can feel the knot in your core tighten impossibly tight, and you almost can’t take it anymore.

Changbin knows your close, and pulls away from your pussy. His lips are glistening and he looks up at you with a smile when he hears you whine. “Please Changbin don’t st-stop,” you say, feeling sad as your high ebbs away slowly. “Mm I don’t know if you deserve it, you need to be punished for how bratty you were acting earlier..you realize that acting up means punishments, don’t you doll?” He says, fingers tracing patterns into your thighs, moving closer to your core to tease you even further. 

“Yes sir I understand.” You say, just hoping that he’ll eventually give you what you want.

“Good. Now, you’re not allowed to come until I tell you to. Understood?” He says, moving back to your clit. “I understand sir,” you say, throwing your head back as his tongue finally comes into contact with your core again.

Changbin edges you two, maybe three more times after that. Honestly, you stopped counting, just trying to focus on every ounce of pleasure that he’s giving you. It was truly torture. The only thoughts in your head were him, him, him, and you knew he was set on making sure that wasn’t going to change any time soon. 

At this point he already has two fingers inside of you, and you’re sure you’re going to explode until Changbin slows his ministrations at the last moment, edging you for the fourth time. He trails his fingers to your mouth. “Open,” he says and you immediately comply, cleaning his fingers off and sucking on them once for good measure.

“Are you ready for me, baby?” he asks, taking his jeans and underwear off, leaving the both of you completely naked. You nod your head furiously. “What’s your color doll? I need to make sure you’re okay with this,” he says as he runs the head of his cock through your folds. 

“Green, Sir fuck, just plea-” your sentence is cut off with a moan as Changbin finally pushes himself into you, going slowly to let you adjust. Once he’s bottomed out he leans forward to capture your lips in a kiss. Once the slight sting of the stretch has dissipated, the fire igniting in you grows stronger and you move your hips, signaling to him that you’re okay.

Changbin pulls all the way out and slams back in, your eyes rolling into the back of your head almost instantly. The drag of his cock against your walls is enough to have you seeing stars, finally satiating all of your desires. He sets a rough and steady pace, and it’s hard to keep yourself together. The room is filled with a mix of sounds; skin slapping against each other, your breathy whines and a grunt from Changbin every so often.

“Look at you doll, taking me so well. You were really made for my cock weren’t you? All mine to ruin and destroy.” he says in your ear, one hand going around your throat and applying slight pressure. It’s bringing you closer to the edge and Changbin knows it, snaking his free hand down to your body to rub harsh circles on your clit. “Go ahead baby, cum for me, let the whole house know who’s making you feel this good” He says as his pace quickens.

His permission was all you needed, the knot coiling tight and finally breaking. Your vision goes white, and your legs are shaking as your orgasm finally washes over you, stronger than ever due to the four denied orgasms you’ve already had tonight. 

“Oh my god, Changbin,” you repeat over and over, riding out your high as he continues his rough pace. He was getting close too, the feeling of you contracting around his cock bringing him to the edge. He pulls out and flips you around, helping you get to your hands and knees before he inserts himself in you once again, the new position letting him fuck you harder than before.

“I’m almost there baby, you think you can cum for me one more time?” he says with a grunt. You’re still sensitive from your first orgasm and you can definitely feel a second one approaching, babbling nonsense as Changbin starts to lose control. His thrusts become more erratic, and his hand is around your throat again, pulling you close to him as he fucks you into the mattress.

Your second orgasm washes over you and the only thing you know how to say is his name. The feeling of your own orgasm finally pushes him over the edge too, groaning as he spills into you and helps you both ride out your highs. Once you’ve calmed down he pulls out of you, and you both fall to the mattress.

Changbin pulls you into his arms, bringing your back against his chest, just how it was when you first met him earlier in the night.

 “That, was…” you say, “Amazing.” Changbin finishes your sentence for you and it makes you giggle. Snuggling into you a little closer, you hear him laugh under his breath.

“I know this is a little backwards, but I was wondering if you’d let me take you to dinner tomorrow,” he says hesitantly.

 You turn around in his hold and place a gentle kiss to his cheek. “I..would love that, Changbin.” you say right before you succumb to the desire to sleep. The last thing you remember is a kiss on your forehead.

Your dreams seem to be filled with him, and when you wake up the next morning, seeing him bathed in the soft morning light, you feel content for the first time in a long time. And you welcome the change.

Maybe Seo Changbin is all that special, and then some.

taglist: @dom--minnie @sparklemin @minholuvs @hanflix @mochinnie @moonlit-lixie @formidxble @chaangbin @jisungiesbunnie @es-kay-zee @jinned

[beann-e]

Far Off Crushes

Mattsukawa Drabble pt.2 ( click here for part 1 )

I’m not sure why this took me so long sorry for the wait !!

“ uh — so what do we do now “

“ the fuck if I know “

Your body shook as he made eye contact with you almost trying to see if something had happened in your last class for you to become an asshole like this out of no where

He smiled softly when you looked away and shook your head causing your face to light up in confusion.

Today had not gone like you planned at all.

You originally planned to end your day walking out of school with your best friend mattsukawa while he preached to you about your beauty and how much he adored you maybe even stopping and buying you some flowers on the way home

but for some reason you found yourself still stuck in your last class with a tall male, blonde striped hair, and a horrible attitude staring down at you “ I did my part right I asked you out so “

your eyebrows furrowed as you cut him off “ so “

He shook his head at your remark “ so why are you acting like a prick right now ? “

your face morphed into annoyance looking away from him to try to calm down he hadn’t done anything wrong but you needed something—someone to blame something to say that you weren’t at fault for all these unexpected mistakes that popped up in your plan “ so”

“ so don’t you also have to do some shit too ? A part to play ? why the hell am I doing all the work here “

you sighed you knew this was gonna be hard you weren’t sure how your personality’s had meshed together so well earlier.

All you knew is that for some reason right now he was annoying you because one he wasn’t mattsukawa and two he wasn’t mattsukawa

“ let’s just —let’s go home ok “

“ finally a good fucking idea —getting tired of just standing here“ he nodded slowly as he sipped the milk box he held in his hand.

He was honestly a bit more confused than you were he thought it was normal to be nice to your crush but if it was then why did it seem like you two had suddenly traded personality’s. You the asshole he really didn’t want to be around and him the submissive schoolgirl. He thought it would be better if he didn’t come on too strong , limited his cursing , and talked to you regularly but that clearly wasn’t working.

now he was shitting his pants at the fact that he would have to actually talk to you and then on top of that work up the courage to curse at you someone he only found himself wanting to spoil.

“ you have to move out of the door way first “ your face went deadpanned looking up at your new ‘boyfriend’ who jumped in his shoes moving over as far away from you and the door as he could causing you to scream out “ not that far you ditz I don’t have fleas“

he scoffed walking behind you your bodies heading for the exit as you stopped at the door him running right into your back holding your shoulders so you didn’t fall over from the impact

His eyes widening when you didn’t move to open it “ uh “ his eyes roamed over your face his own morphed in pure confusion why would you just stop in front of the door after just telling him not too long ago to move away from doors.

“ the fuck are you doing “

you growled “ your suppose to open the door for me ‘boyfriend’ “

“ w-what “

“ it’s gentlemanly y’know “ you looked to the door sadly “ and mattsukawa used to do it for me “

“ one i swear you just made that word up the fucks gentlemanly and two ok —what do I do with that information “ his eyebrows came together in a furrow as he looked down on you visibly confused “ you do know i’m not going to do everything that your perfectly capable of doing on your own just because we’re dating now right ? “

you felt your body flame as you pushed the door open by yourself the boy behind you racing to keep up with you. Screaming profanities as every door you opened smacked him in the face because you only opened it enough to let yourself through.

“ god such an— “ his mouth snapped shut as you turned around and drilled your stare into the side of his face.

The quiet air swirling around between you two the wind howling before you heard his voice become softer.

your mind slowing when you finally landed on a thought that’s been stuck in your head since he showed up at your last class earlier ‘ wheres the smart alec asshole from the hallway —why’s he acting so —so sweet ‘

“ psst “

your head turned to look his way before turning back around “ hey y/n “ you groaned giving him just a little bit of your attention

“ look “ his hand came down on your shoulder patting you gently as you followed his finger that was outstretched to point at the animal across from you two “ a puppy “

your face lit up in excitement as he stared down on your child like state his heart beating rapidly when his gaze finally fell to your eyes that were gleaming with interest.

His own darting around your face as if stuck in a trance watching as the wind comb over your features your smile one he wanted to see all the time.

‘ they like what I like ‘

His mouth flying open without his permission “ so pret—puppy— let’s go see the puppy “

“ wh-what no we can’t ju— “

“ let’s go see the puppy “ you jumped he obviously wasn’t one to take no for an answer and that was clear when his offer seemed to turn into more of a demand than a request you nodded as if he could see you his body already across the schoolyard and making it’s way to the park.

Your mouth moving to scream out stop when you saw him touch the dog without permission his hand already coming onto the top of the dogs head softly “ hey you cant ju— “

His face never changed as he pulled back the finger that the dog bit only to smile at the red that moved across his skin and fell to the grass. Holding out his hand showing where he’d been hurt. Eyes coming up to look at the owner “ shots ? “

the owner shaking their head as they spoke “ knew he could fend for himself so I let cha’ do it “

your ‘boyfriend’ smiled as he stood “ he’s got a little spark — like em “ he turned back to look at you before he squatted again hands on his knees “ come ‘ ere “

you looked at the boy in confusion before you looked to the owner “ come on “ you glared at the male that sat next to the dog before following him letting out a small apology to the owner that went unheard as he paid more attention to his phone instead of the two high schoolers that were attacking his dog with their hands.

You moved to sit on the grass staring at the dog in front of you that just stared back your eyes never leaving his. The two of you almost having a conversation through your eyes.

A loud laugh rippling from the ground up and through your body “ the fuck are you doing ? “ the boy beside you screamed both the dog and yourself turning to stare him down “ what are you ? having a staring contest with — with the dog ? “ he busted out laughing as he thought back to your behavior a couple minutes ago

“ here look this is you “ he moved to stare at the small animal before you two. His eyes hard and serious as he tried to stop the laugh that threatened to leave his lips

He wouldn’t stop staring until he heard you laug—

“ oh god shutup “ you laughed causing him to relax and finally let himself laugh when he felt your hands outstretch and push him over to the ground “ it’s not like he can talk or anything how else are we suppose to y’know communicate “

“pet him you doof “ he smiled as he looked to the dog in front you flailing his hand towards the animal as he spoke “ pet him y/n he’ll respond better to a nice person like yourself than he did me “

your eyebrows creased before you nibbled your bottom lip “ swear it “

he smiled softly before holding out his pinky to you. Your eyes widening at the childish motion before laughing softly reaching out your own and wrapping it around his

“ swear it “ he spoke loud enough for you to hear but soft enough for you to hear he meant every word he said regardless of the sharp edge and bass his voice held

you felt the nerves in your body electrify before a hand inched it’s way across the grass ghosting over your own hand feeling your hesitation “ may I “

you nodded as he took your hand in his own squeezing lightly to calm your jumpy fingers before he guided you to the dog his hand wrapped around yours as he directed it up and down—guiding it softly around the puppy’s fur. Your mouth quirking up in a small smile when the dog whimpered in approval and turned over on its belly “he’s — he’s cute “

the owner turned to look between you and the boy that sat next to you “ yeah he’s a friends actually “

you nodded “ your friend has great taste“

he smiled “ yeah I like to think so— actually thinking about him right now he’s got quite the eye for pretty things “

you and the taller boy next to you spoke at the same time both of your eyes on two different thing when speaking “ yeah “

you moved to stand up as you made eye contact with your boyfriend who nodded in understanding before he led you back to the street to walk you home.

the mood created by the dog left behind and now traded for a dry and quiet one as you two walked a distance away from each other you playing with your hands as he pushed his own deeper in his pockets

“ hey look “ you gulped heavily at his voice forgetting how deep and heavy it was “ look— I — i’m not like mattsukawa I know it I understand it “ he nodded to himself trying to get it in his head “ I don’t think i’ll ever be on that level personally and — well physically“

you listened not turning around so that you didn’t make him nervous “ but “ his voice went hard “ I can try I can try to be what you want me to be — who — who you want me to be if you just —just give me a chance—please I— “

your eyes widened as you moved to speak causing him to realize that he was just begging in the middle of the street his hands sweaty while gripping at his backpack straps “no—no just “ he sighed “ just leave it alone this shit got way too fucking emotional too quick “

“ but why “

he grunted “ didn’t I just say leave it the fuck alone “

“ but I don’t wanna “

“ you don’t listen “ he rolled his eyes “ kinda hot kinda “ he dropped his voice to a whisper “ pisses me off “

“ mm “ his eyes darted to yours before looking away

“ look your good ok “ your voice croaked out making his brain swirl as he listened to you speak letting you melt away all his doubts “ i’m sorry i’ve been a little bit of an asshole “

“ a litt— “ he laughed before coughing “ uh yes i’m sorry you’ve been really um wonderful y/n“ he coughed again fixing his uniform before following after you

“ it’s just today didn’t go how I expected at all and now i’m just i’m here with a guy I don’t even really know and I can’t help but be a little pissed off that I lost my best friend and crush all in one day — I just —don’t think I blame you or I’m upset or pissed at you just“ you looked to the ground “ just a really crappy day “

“ yeah no I totally understand “ he took a big gulp as he loooked to you his body finally stopping and taking a deep breath “ y-y/n can — can I — I have something to te— “

“ hey wanna come in “ you put the key in your door flinging it open smiling back at the male not hearing anything he’d just siad “ ‘ rents aren’t home and I — “

you shook your head “ I kinda don’t wanna be alone think i’m gonna cry or spazz if I am “

he looked around the street before turning around and staring at the floor face made up in a state of confusion “ o-oh we’re at your — your house “ his eyes went into shock realizing what he got himself into he didn’t think this far ahead “ the place where you eat , study an—“

“ what the fuck are you a reporter why are you out here telling every single neighbor i have what i do in my house “

he smiled softly before accepting the invite waking in and putting his shoes to the side after taking them off

“ sooo this is where you live “ his eyes glanced over towards a wall—-every wall trying to figure out what kind of person you were or even trying to figure out how he’d gotten this far he assumed you would’ve called the whole dating thing off

He wanted to savor this moment before you cut all connection with him. He just wanted one day of doing nothing but spending his time hanging out with his crush maybe then they would finally notice him as the nice kid and not just the asshole from school who screams and sulks in corners

“ ha you say that like you’ve been interested in it forever—do houses really bring you this much joy —what are you an aspiring housewife?“

“ no I just — well I do have something to tel— “

“ god I can’t believe I confessed today “ his face dropped before it hardened him following you while you ran through your house and plopped down belly first on your bed

“ I never thought this would’ve happened I mean look i’m sitting here with you for christ sakes —i assumed i would never see you again“

he moved to sit next to you grabbing your feet hesitantly and laying them across his lap “ I-is there something wrong with me”

“ no no no I just “ you sighed into your pillow “ I just don’t know you “

“ would you y’know like to know “

your brain stopped working at his question —did you wanna get to know this new person next to you ? “ if you don’t wanna know that’s cool I just I know a lot about you and you don’t know about m— “

“ hey can you tell me how you know so much about me “

“ I— I um ? “ he looked away from your back and looked to your room door “ maybe after you find out a little bit more about me “

“ fine “ you huffed “ but you don’t deserve to look into my pretty eyes until you tell me “

your voice dropping into a flirty tone eyebrows wiggling into your pillow as if the male next to you could see them “ their pretty you may just fall in love — so I really suggest just telling me “

he laughed “ no I know — I know but uh I don’t wanna tell you and freak you out because you don’t know me yet—that’d be weird “

you groaned out a small “ fine “ as he shifted uncomfortably in his space looking for a little bit of comfort. He was seriously really surprised he even made it this far he didn’t want to screw up now

“ ok so uh my names kentaro you can call me—“

“ ken “

“ fuc—i mean um sure —i was uh thinking the same thing“ his eyebrows furrowed trying to get used to the new name “ I play on the volleyball team hence why you saw me in the hallway on my way there and fell on me with your extremely heavy body may i add “

“ hey “ you screamed pushing out your foot from his hold and kicking him in his side causing him to laugh and rub at it softly while he spoke

“ yeah and I— I like dogs or animals really “ he smiled to himself hands moving to play with your socks still searching for that comfort he tended to ramble when he was comfortable. Most people assumed he was quiet and reserved but the truth is he just didn’t feel comfortable enough to talk to anyone no one made him want to speak

well no one except you and you made him want to simply because he couldn’t understand you instead of pushing you away like other people he wanted to learn more about you and if that meant breaking down his wall and outside persona god he would do it so fast “ their um sweet and fun and I like that they keep to themselves y’know—their never asking me to do things or yelling at me they just “ he sighed “ chill “

he smiled wider looking at your floor “ did you know my nickname on the team is mad dog “ he scoffed “ honestly used to hate it until I went to the dog park one day I tend to go to calm my nerves —I should bring you one day actually i would love to bring you one day—first date maybe? no wait we’re not really dati— but uh there was a lady there and she yelled out ‘ mad dog ‘ “

he shook his head at the words that just spilled from his mouth silently begging himself to stop he didn’t wanna scare you off

“ so I turned my head and said yeah only to get cut off by a dog barking and running into her arms that day —‘ts weird but for some reason it made me a bit more confident in my nickname not just because of the dog that would be stupid but because I seen how something I thought was made to make fun of me could one day turn into something with love behind it “

he sighed “ that was a horrible explanation—I mean I used to think they were doing it because they were assholes but as time went by I noticed they just really dug giving out nicknames and I was lucky enough to have one—that wasn’t just straight up demeaning like shittykawa “

he smiled softly while his hand traced up from your socks to your legs playing drums on them “ I hope one day i’ll have someone who’ll say the nickname with just as much love as that lady did — the dog they— they seemed so happy and I — I wanna feel it too y’know “

he felt his hands going sweaty and pulled them back off of you not wanting to scare you “ sorry I — I tend to ramble if i’m comfortable because I don— “

“ don’t talk much around people “

“ y-yeah how’d you “

“ same—feels nice to finally get it out huh and just talk without being rude to everyone—when’s the last time you had a proper conversation like this “ you smiled softly your head now turned to look at him body moving to sit next to him both your legs hanging off the side of your bed “ ken your really passionate with your words “

“ oh — oh I am ? “

“ do you show the volley guys this side of you or “

“ yeah right and risk being called soft why the hel— “

“ then why’d you show it to me “ your eyes moved to look into his you were honestly confused you two barely knew each other youd just technically met today as far as you knew. so why did he feel so comfortable of course you were happy for him to finally say what felt like was sitting on his chest for years but

“ kentaro “ his eyes snapped away from their place on your lips with a slight hum “ why did you — why do you feel so comfortable with me “

“ because I — I “ his eyebrows furrowed “ because y/n I love y—” his body jolted when he heard a knock on the front door causing him to ramble “ BECAUSE I LOVE KNOCKING “

your eyes widened at his outburst shaking your head and standing “ fuck I um — I enjoy knocking a lot y’know how it just — it just uh y’know goes knock knock —really cleanses the soul “

you laughed uncomfortably before you left the room him following quietly behind you watching your body slowly get closer and closer to the door “ who is it “ you screamed making your through the house

“ hey babe it’s issei “

“ issei “ you screamed happily kentaros body shaking in fear his mind racing with thoughts and hands sweating like crazy his eyes on the brink of tears.

He could not let mattsukawa in if he let you open that door his chances were over. He felt the whole world slow— he felt his whole world get closer and closer to the thing that would only destroy them feet moving faster than he’d ever thought possible

“ fuck “ he screamed “ people just — I keep getting interrupted “ he huffed “ I-i’m trying and trying and I “

“ k-ken “ you spoke causing him to look up and notice that he had somehow made his way in front of you his back to the hallway leading to the door and blocking It from your view “ what are you tal— “

“ please just — just shutup “ he cringed at his word use he’d been trying all day to be nicer around you he couldn’t ruin it now “ no don’t shutup never shut up just — god fuck — holy shit “

“ t-the big threes “

he laughed “ y/n please i’ve — ive — i’m in love with you “ he spat out quickly and harshly making it feel more like a threat than a good thing.

His words turning into a giant spitball as he stared at the floor arms outstretched “ i’ve been in love with you since first grade and if you wanna count kindergarten I swear I loved the way you nibbled on your crayons “

he shook silently “ middle school started it all I was gonna con— confess but you — you were too focused you liked school at that time and I didn’t wanna be an asshole and ruin it—or even make you sacrifice your grades—in elementary god I was sucha prick but a dumb prick I was an idiot I didn’t understand why I felt the way I felt—it pissed me off so I broke your color pencil “

he was on the verge of tears causing you to soften when you thought back to the angry guy you met in the hallway earlier “ I replaced it I swear I ran to the bucket and tried my best to find a red but I couldn’t it was so hard all the crayons were broken and — and I tried y/n but I couldn’t so I took tape and glue and tried to rebuild it and left it at your desk and it was so worth it to see 3rd grade you showing everyone your cool new pencil “

He took a quick breath before starting again “ and then — then high school came and god fuck highschool that’s when you met that asshole and he — I — I — he knew I liked you it was almost obvious to anybody on that fucking team if they looked closely enough “

he shook his head to the floor as if sitting through his thoughts “ everything mattsukawa did or gave you for your birthday was my doing I was the one texting the group chat and reminding them that it was coming up — every time he took you out for lunch dinner whatever the fuck he did that was all me — I paid —i took you out not him “ he felt his rage seeping out

“ he stole all my ideas for you away from me and then earlier actually tried to steal you from me in my fucking face the nerve of that shitty asshole— “ he scoffed his anger boiling inside and staring to pour over

“all you’ve been doing is talking about him while I have the fattest fucking crush on you and it — it hurts “ his voice was going hoarse body tensing at the knocking that never seemed to stop only pressing harder into his head making him spill everything “ I became an asshole in high school and I — I knew you wouldn’t want me I knew I had no chance so I left you alone but that doesn’t mean I stopped liking you I still did I still do — when I saw you in that hallway earlier I thought it was fate “

he laughed “ and I don’t even believe in that bullshit much less believe that you’ll like me after I show i’m not the tough asshole I pretend to be “ his heart broke “but I do I fucking love you — I don’t know how else to say it how else to make you feel it but I love you — I love you y/n l/— “

his body relaxed and fell into happiness when his eyes slowly dropped and noticed your lips on his.

‘ how long have they been there’

Eyebrows coming together before his hands ghosted around your waist his mind telling him not to smile so he didn’t break the kiss but at the same time telling him to kiss back so he also didn’t break the kiss and trust he never wanted to break the kiss

and oh god he forget that he was suppose to close his eyes he’d dreamed about this for so long so why— why did it feel so different now that it was happening is it because your real is it because that assholes knocking on the door outside waiting to get in.

Is it because he can say that this situation perfectly describes how mattsukawas trying so desperately to get inside your heart but he’s already there stealing the job from an asshole like him yeah that’s it

“ you dick stop smiling “ you pulled back and spoke against his lips

“ I—- I can’t help it your just so “

“ you should’ve told me sooner “

“ I didn’t think you would accep— “

“ no you asshole “ you punched him in his chest causing him to grab hold of it “ that you were the reason why my rose was two different colors in 3rd grade “ you laughed to yourself “ the crayon you gave me was cool yeah but it was orange not red —you gave me the wrong crayon back asshat”

“ I-i’m sorry we can make another one “

your heart warmed “yeah — let’s make that our second date ok “

“ h- huh when was our first “

you scoffed “ as long as you’ve liked me I thought you would’ve remembered every little thing we’ve done together “

his face crinkled into confusion “ i’m sorry I “

“ in middle school we were science lab partners “ you smiled softly “ we dissected a frog together remember“

“ you— you remember “ he laughed “ and how you were cutting it open while I was screaming my head off like a chick “

“ how could I forget “

“ so you knew me this whole time “

“ mm I know the sweet guy that’s standing in front of me right now pouring his heart out to me yeah “ you paused to look up at him “ if your asking if I know the asshole who curses every other word and is just a straight prick to people as a facade then no I will continue to forget him “

he brought his face close to yours his breath tickling your lips “ may I “

“ you ma—- “ his lips locked on yours again causing you to gasp and finally tune out the knocking swirling around your house “ you gonna get that “ he looked to the side “ if you want him to come in he ca- “

“ no I wanna be with you “

he smirked to himself “ then tell the asshole your busy “ he picked you up bridal style your voice loud causing the knocking to stop so the person could listen “ hey douchebag i’m with “ your eyes came to rest on kentaros “ i’m with my boyfriend “

you smiled as he moved to speak “ yeah and he says the only dick allowed in here is his own so give us some alone time yeah so they can fall in love again “ his eyes locking with yours meaning everything he said “ the right way this time “

[missyasf]

Game Of Hearts

| 3 |  

↳ Summary: Your life is in monotonous tones of grey, day in, day out. Nothing matters besides your sister, the only thing you remember is seeing fireworks before waking up to Tokyo abandoned . Soon enough you are properly introduced to the deadly Borderlands where you must fight for your life in Games to survive. When things can’t possibly get worse soon division arises and rivalries are made. No matter what though, you are constantly plagued by a blonde who, no matter how hard you try, just can’t seem to go too far without.

↳ Pairing: Chishiya/Reader

↳ Genre: Angst, smut, thriller

Word Count: 9.5k

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Trigger Warning: ⚠️ much like the manga/Netflix adaptation this will be a dark fic which includes mentions of prostitution, attempted murder, child ab*se, sexual harassment, heavy grief and attempted suic*de among other things. Additional warnings will be added for chapters when triggers are brought up. Please read with caution if these are triggers for you or just skip all together! 

3rd Day Sojourn 

“Looks like we got a smartass here don’t we?” 

You felt torn on whether to intervene or not. Chishiya, was by no means a hero or a prince charming. You didn’t need to know him to know he was going to be the last person to save you out of good will. Not like you needed saving regardless but you couldn’t help but wonder what his motive was. 

Chishiya still had that cold smirk on his face, as if extremely amused at the furious Niragi you had held him up by the jacket, even face to face he not once had a change in expression, as if he just genuinely didn’t care about whatever Niragi felt. 

“Probably because I am smarter than you.” Chishiya lifted his chin a little a devious icy smile on his lips like he was getting a rise out of the way Niragi simmered and growled at him, his hands tightening around his jacket and you were briefly worried if Chishiya didn’t shut up that he was going to be beat into a pulp. No matter how smart he was, he couldn’t outwit his way from getting throat punched. Although...you wouldn’t deny a secret part of you would find that mildly funny. You also wanted to throat punch him on certain occasions. 

“I believe that’s enough Niragi.” Everyone paused at the sight of someone new arriving, Ryu had gotten out of the pool to stand next to you and Hiroko as he whispered, “That’s number three, Kuzuryuu. He often keeps everyone in their place when Hatter isn’t around.” 

Niragi stuck his tongue as he began to cackle, letting go of Chishiya. Breathing in relief you relaxed a little as everyone did the same. Just within a split second though you could hardly comprehend the sight of Niragi immediately decking Chishiya right across the jaw who was knocked off balance. People were already intervening as you stood there gaping. You didn’t think Niragi would actually punch him. 

You had thought Chishiya’s expression would’ve changed but much to your disbelief it was as if he was even more settled into his resolve, grabbing his jaw as a viscous smile appeared on his lips, spitting out blood as he goaded, “So you agree then? Anyone with half a brain would be able to reply instead of resort to violence.” 

Did this man really wanna die on his first day in the Beach? 

Niragi was pulled away and back to his group with steam practically pouring out of his ears, attempting to get back to Chishiya before he was yanked back by perhaps the most physically intimidating man you had ever seen, “That’s number 2, Agni, the leader of the militant sect.” Hiroko clarified to you but it fell on deaf ears as you hurried over to Chishiya, now feeling immensely bad that regardless of his intentions he was hurt for what? Gloating? Was his ego truly that big, “God are you insane!?” You cried out in a whisper kneeling down, your maternal instincts on overdrive as you grabbed his face immediately checking for any bruising. 

Chishiya almost like a cat that didn’t want to be touched pulled away from your grip unappreciative, “I don’t like annoying or stupid people.” He replied immediately, his eyes leering ungratefully, “And he was ruining a perfectly good day for me. If you think I’d care for someone like you then you’re more delusional then you look. Besides it’s just blood, it’ll go stop.” 

Ouch.

You rolled your eyes at him deciding to not take his words to heart though a tiny part of you wondered if he only said that due to the conversation you both had last night. Or maybe he just really didn’t care. Regardless it didn’t matter, “He had a fucking rifle!” You whispered angrily, “I get it, we aren’t best friends but I don’t wanna see you get shot you asshole.” 

“We aren’t friends at all,” Chishiya replied coolly, his eyes analytical and calculating, his gaze like ice that glared you down as if you were his new target for a reason unknown, “We aren’t even acquaintances. We’re just strangers and I’d prefer to keep it that way. I don’t need your concern or care, so stay out of my way.” 

You felt thoroughly indignant at his words as you clenched your jaw, “You know what? I doubt you’ve ever had anyone care for you and I can see why. I hope he hits you harder next time you jerk.” This man drove you utterly insane! And you couldn’t even understand why. Chishiya was so cold and for no reason…! 

Walking back to your pool chair you snatched your shorts, “Y/n…! Y/n! Are you okay!?” Nanami hurried to your side, you had forgotten all about your sister being in full range of the horror show she had just finished watching between you and Niragi. Probably too scared to try and intervene and you didn’t blame her. Had it been anyone else besides your sister in your shoes you would’ve kept to yourself as well. 

“I’m fine, I’d say you should check on Chishiya but apparently he doesn’t need anybody!” You flailed your arms before plopping down on the seat still mad, “What a…! A…! Pathetic, bitter way to live! He’s so conceited!” You curled your fists as you pulled your shorts up before buttoning them as you grabbed your sheer cover up jacket. 

Nanami frowned as she grabbed her hands, “Well…” You whipped around in anger, silently staring at her, just daring her to try and come up with some excuse for this guy. Nanami, was a soft hearted person, she never wanted to judge a book by it’s cover and always gave the benefit of the doubt. You admired that about her, but you sometimes wished she was a bit more….realistic with people, “I’m sure he’ll come around.” She decided to not pursue her original words as she offered a weak smile. 

“You can deal with that if you want, but I’m done with him. Anytime I try to be relatively nice, I just get spit in the face.” Huffing you crossed your arms, “I’m going on a walk.” And true to your words you did, you needed to be by yourself for a while to clear your head after what had all transpired just minutes ago. 

“Originally I helped run a ranch but I wanted to see all the sights so I moved out of my pops and came here to the city!” The music was loud in here and so many people were dancing, makeshift stripper poles had been made and honestly. You understood the Beach was supposed to be an escape, but that didn’t make it a bit of a pathetic sight to see people attempting to swing around and accidentally break it. Multiple times. 

You were currently sat at the table with Akari, Hiroko and Ryu everyone having a fairly good time and the longer you talked to Hiroko the less intimidating she became, “I don’t really remember much to be honest,” Akari scratched her head as she hummed, “Just that after I finished putting groceries up I saw fireworks out of my window.”

You straightened up in curiosity, you had seen the same thing! “Yeah we all did,” You slumped at Ryu’s words as he frowned, “Nobody can remember anything after seeing them except waking up here in the Borderlands.”

“What were you guys before this…?” You asked, not wanting to linger for long on just where you were, in a city that was a replica of Tokyo with only a handful of what? A hundred people, maybe a little more? You didn’t have the mindset right now to even try and grasp what was going on or what had happened. 

“I was a lawyer,” Hiroko answered first, her expression clearly proud and you’d imagine why, this meant she was older than you! “I did quite a bit of traveling around and dabbled in attorney work for awhile...That’s what my dad wanted me to go in as,” She rolled her eyes, “But I found I’m better at building a case.” 

Somehow...you weren’t surprised, you smiled regardless wrapping your arms around yourself, the more you talked to them the more comfortable you began to feel, “One morning I was late to getting to the courthouse and this idiot ended up spilling coffee on me,” Hiroko’s words may have been harsh but she looked Ryu with the softest expression you had ever seen her wear.

Obvious fondness in her eyes, “It was by chance he did that I like to think it was by fate I ended up meeting him again except he was behind the counter at the coffeeshop I always went too.” 

Ryu’s cheeks dusted pink as he gave an awkward smile, “I worked evening shifts but got switched over to mornings, best decision I ever made! I’m currently in my last year of college for being an art curator!” 

“A cure what now?” Akari cocked her head to the side and for some reason the three of you busted out laughing at her as she parted her lips, “Hey don’t laugh! I’m being serious! Is that some kind of professional coffee maker?” 

You closed your eyes giggling as you shook your head, “What about you Y/n? What were you before all of this?” You paused for a second at Hiroko’s question as the table quieted down, suddenly your memory swiped back to the night of the fireworks. What happened at work, how you were supposed to go to class the next day. How your night ended early.

“Ah…” You rubbed the back of your neck as you sheepishly smiled, unsure of where to even begin. It wasn’t that...you were ashamed of your work you just- felt often misunderstood by people. Anytime you said you were a sex worker you either recieved wild looks and suddenly you were treated lowly or people- men in particular would begin to send you uncomfortable innuendo’s. 

 “Ah…! Y/n!” You straightened up at the muffled screech that sounded like your sister as your eyes shot around the room only to find Nanami fumbling towards you with a whine, suddenly hiding behind you as you frowned standing up, “Good! Good! I’m glad you’re here!” She chuckled nervously as your expression contorted. 

“Where is that bitch!?” 

Oh...why did this seem vaguely familiar, “What did you do?” You hissed as you turned to Nanami as she rubbed her neck sheepishly only for you to whirl back around again at the sight of a raging woman, the most notable feature her breasts nearly spilling from her loose bikini top as she pointed an accusing finger at your sister, “Why don’t you stop being a slut trying to get with MY boyfriend and take it up with me!” 

“Nanami!” You hissed as she cowered behind you, her lips tugging into a pout as she poked both her pointer fingers together with a frown. You had an obligation as a big sister to at least try to defend her before feeding her to the wolves, “Maybe you should give that energy to your boyfriend...Wasn’t he the one supposed to stay loyal?” You raised your brows as you spoke. 

You shrieked as you ducked down, a beer bottle flying above you as the girl raged on. 

“That’s Kokona, resident miss possessive.” Hiroko leaned back in her seat as she sipped her drink, obviously this wasn’t too odd of a sight as she shrugged, “You might wanna run.” 

You brows raised at her words only to see Kokona gathering three other men around as Hiroko snorted, “She’s got a whole pack of guys willing to do her bidding.” 

“Y/n…!” Nanami whined, grabbing your arm as you watched the three men approach, you looked between Nanami and them as your lips parted in a half sincere apology. 

“...Sorry Nami that's what happens when you try to sleep with someone's boyfriend!” You shoved past her as you heard her yelling at you as she split off on the other side of the room. People did nothing to effort to try and move out of your way as you shoved between them, ducking down as weaved through the crowd in hopes of attempting to lose them, you really didn’t want this to become a reputation for you and your sister. 

Diving into a booth seat you felt the stares of two men as you offered an awkward smile, “Don’t mind me, I’m just trying to not get killed…” You offered a quirked smile as you grabbed the long island tea off the table, tipping it towards them as they all bubbled out cheers as you took a long sip, your eyes carefully watching over the crowd as you spot the one guy that must’ve been sent after you. 

After all you weren’t the one that Kokona wanted to kill, it was a pretty common occurrence you had experienced except...at least the woman before wasn't psychotic enough to actually try to kill you. You supposed the Borderlands were different. Very different. 

“Hey you should totally hang with us! We got your back babe.” You looked up at the dorky grin of the man you had sat next to your lying figure, which you were trying to use the table as coverage, “No extra cost needed beside a good laugh!”

You offered a weak smile, “I’m Y/n!” You introduced, endeared at the oddly innocent smile on his face as you awkwardly shifted, “My sister tried to sleep with someone's boyfriend and I somehow got dragged into it.” 

“Kokona’s a mean one,” The guy across the table hiccuped as he lifted his glass, “I’d stay away from her if I were.” You lifted up onto your elbows as you glanced up at him, his eyes heavily dilated before you realized he had obviously been as high as a kite and drinking...No wonder they looked so out of it. 

Watching the three men rally back together you quickly pressed back against the seats as you closed your eyes, “Yeah, I can tell...Is she like this with everyone....?” You grabbed the glass once more for another sip, needing something to take the edge off of this whole day. If your sister wasn’t so horny you wouldn’t be in this position right now!

“Nah, mainly girls.” The one beside you waved a hand, “She’s pretty cool otherwise, a little ruthless though. She gloats about her speciality being hearts a lot so she thinks it makes her automatically superior since most of us are spades or clubs players.” 

Sitting up a little you tilted your head in confusion, holding the drink you now claimed as yours as you drank it once more, “Specialty? Are venues specified towards…? What? A certain type of suit?” 

“No! No! Nothing like that, specialty just means what you naturally have a knack for! All games are still random at each venue,” The guy beside you sloshed his drink, obviously semi drunk himself as he explained, “That's why Hatter sends a team of four or three where each person has a specialty in each suit- except there isn’t a lot of hearts player, because we haven’t really encountered any…” 

Jiggling your drink you looked down at the ice that was slowly melting as you hummed, “Okay that makes sense.” You nodded remembering Hatter mentioning this was well, it would only be natural that the longer you survived you’d have a preference for a suit. 

“Hey aren’t you new?” The guy across the table pointed a sluggish finger at you, “Shouldn’t you be a little more...freaked out…?” 

You offered a weak smile as you glanced away, “Oftentimes in traumatic situations hysteria doesn’t always hit first, it’s likely that my psyche is still in shock and hasn’t fully processed what I’ve seen the past day…” The guy across the table squinted his eyes as he nodded with his lips parted as if in awe at your words, “It’s a mental thing,” You waved at your head, “To try and keep the psychological state of my mind in one piece.” 

You wouldn’t deny, there was a certain part of you that felt numb to everything and a smaller part of yourself wondered how you could intake all this information without going hysterical. But...the way you saw it was if this was your reality now, there was nothing you could do to change it. It was better you just got as much information as you could and try your best to adapt if you were going to live on. 

Glancing out over the crowd you noticed the men had disappeared once again as you offered both the guys a smile, “Thanks for letting me stay! But I’d better get going.” You gave a small nod, getting up as you held the glass, looking down at it as you frowned...You really hoped this wasn’t laced with anything or else it was going to be a very long night. 

Pushing through the crowd you couldn’t find Nanami anywhere but you did spot the girl you had sent three guys after you both like a fucking dog. Squeezing the glass you took a long drink as you approached her, “Kokona,” You called out with a smile as you waved, her eyes sharp as she immediately glared you down, “Listen…” You approached her with an easy smile, “I’m not here to make enemies, my sister is young and she probably didn’t realize it was your boyfriend…But like I said, you don’t really want a guy like that around…”

“Listen here you walmart knock off barbie,” Kokona pointed a sharp nail at you making your lips part a little in surprise at just how aggressive she was, “I don’t give a fuck. I don’t have the time or patience, here of all places. I’m sure you understand right?” She offered a gritty smile, “So tell that bitchy little sister of yours to stay out of my sight if she doesn’t want her hair ripped out.” 

Pressing your tongue to your cheek you looked away for a second before down at your drink...Well, she asked for it. 

You without a second thought held the drink up before splashing it all over her, “Say what you want about me I don’t give a fuck,” You stepped closer to her as you offered a gritty smile of your own, “But don’t ever say anything about my sister. I’m sure I’ll see you later.” You waved a hand as you turned around, walking back to the table where Akari, Ryu and Hiroko looked like they were all preparing to duck for cover at the show Kokona had put on for them unknowingly.

Setting the glass down at the table you collapsed in your chair as you whined, “Why are women so unfriendly here!?” 

Hiroko snorted as she shrugged, obviously not bugged like you were about it, “In this world it’s either kill or be killed, a lot of people don’t have time for niceties anymore. You’ll get used to it. Besides, Kokona is just a bitch to everyone. Don’t take it so personal.” She shrugged, “While you and Nanami were getting chased down we were talking…” 

You frowned as you looked up at all three of them as Akari smacked the table, “We should all go out for a game tonight! I know! I know, counterproductive especially with our visa’s stocked for the next few days but I think it’d be fun!” 

“Fun!?” The three of them paused as you sat up in your seat, looking at them all like they were insane because they obviously had to be, “Fun!?” You repeated again with even more emphasis, “Guys…! You- you could die!” 

“We could die just trying to breath here,” Hiroko scoffed as she shrugged, nonpulsed at your reaction as she picked her nails, ‘Besides you don’t have to go, I get it. We were all like this when we were new too. But I figured we’d make a good team logically. My speciality is diamond, Ryu’s is clubs and we just found out Akari is spades. And we have you, our wild card to figure out what you’re good at. It’s unlikely we’d die. By statistics at least.” 

You rubbed your neck, feeling a little more at ease with Hiroko’s rationality as you mumbled, “Well what about Nanami…?” Your eyes washed over the crowd, finally spotting your sister against the wall sipping something trying to act like there weren't three guys after her. 

“I doubt you’d want her to go?” Hiroko raised her brows, “Besides she still has three days left on her visa, she’ll be fine. Again, I’m not gonna pressure you into going, if all you’re gonna do is panic you probably will get lynched.” 

Her words made you puff your chest a little as you looked back to Nanami before back to the table, well...if they all had a strong suit then why not? “Alright, I’m in!” Who knows when you’d get the opportunity again to get more days on your visa in a considerably safe group. 

“I get it you’re like a walking model but seriously?” Hiroko leaned against the bathroom wall as she sighed picking at her nails, “You weren’t even in a full bikini.” 

“This has nothing to do with vanity and everything to do with comfort!” You called back, pulling up the loose sweatpants, “I’m not going to possibly go into a game that makes me run while wearing swimwear, I don’t hate myself that much!” You pulled the loose t-shirt over your head before pulling out the maroon jacket as you walked out, stuffing your swim attire in the bag. You had been at the venue for the past five minutes now, having not crossed the threshold but you still have time before it closed. 

“How many people have showed up?” You asked as you stood next to Hiroko who dropped her hand as she looked at you rolling her eyes as she sighed, standing up as you both walked to where Akari and Ryu were discussing the possibilities of what the game would be tonight. 

“Eh, like four? Maybe? I think that guy you know is in there.” Hiroko shrugged casually, “Looks like a good setup for a spades game, they typically have a bigger group number.” 

“What?” Your brows furrowed, what guy? Your mind drew a blank briefly as Ryu stretched out with a nod.

“Well if we’re all ready to go then let's head inside it’s almost six.” Ryu nodded once more as everyone followed behind him, you tossed your bag against the wall, it’s not like you had to be worried about anyone stealing in this climate. Your heartbeat picked up as you crossed the threshold. 

Noticing indeed four other people here before your lips parted and your face screwed into irritation, “Really!?” You muttered under your breath, immediately turning away from the familiar white hood as you stubbornly crossed your arms, “Hiroko why didn’t you say it was him!?” You hissed a whisper to her. 

Hiroko looked between you and Chishiya who was on his phone, earbuds in and ignoring the outside world before she tried to hold a laugh, “Did you two fuck or something?” You immediately flailed at her words making both her and Akari start laughing at both your misery and anger as you glared at her in unappreciation. 

“You think i’d fuck someone like him!?” You hissed out, “No, he's a total jerk! I…! Why can’t I go anywhere without him showing up!” You groaned as you crossed your arms, “Whatever, maybe he’ll get his guts ripped out tonight.” 

“Ouch, that’s a little harsh.” Ryu frowned, innocent as ever as he held his hands together, before offering a cute smile, “I’m sure he’ll come around, we’re all a part of the beach after all.” You sourly crossed your arms as you looked at the clock, striking six just in time for you to get tonight started with whatever death trap awaited.” 

Somehow, you doubt Chishiya held any loyalty to any of you at all just because you all slept in the same hotel…

The TV on the wall lit up as everyone's attention turned to it, obviously nobody was new here tonight as no one spoke to each other.

Game

Difficulty: 3♡ 

“A heart's game?” Ryu mumbled, his brows furrowed as he looked between you all as you gave a little shrug, your face twisted in concern as you wrapped your arms around yourself, “Well at least it’s a low difficulty! I’m sure it won’t be too hard to solve!” 

“The game you will be participating in is Blind Man's Bluff. Everyone will be required to wear a blindfold for one minute where the tagger will pass their tag off,” The screen depicted a faceless man passing quite literally a name tag off to one sitting down “Tags pertain to who is a player and who is the tagger. You will have twenty minutes to complete the game. It’s a Game ‘Clear’ if the tagger is discovered before the end of the last round, it’s a Game Over for the players if the tagger remains undiscovered.” 

Rules:

After each tagging sequence players will remain seated to take off their blindfold and find out if they have been selected as the tagger.

Blindfolds must be worn and kept on for the whole minute during the tagging sequence or it’s a Game Over.

Violence against other players is strictly prohibited and will result in a Game Over.

Players must remain seated for the whole time period of the tagging sequence or it’s a Game Over.

Game Clear conditions: If the players find out who the tagger is before the time runs out or it’s a Game Over for all players.

Tension had risen in the air a little as you felt your throat become dry, everyone immediately looked at each other somewhat suspiciously as the doors opened to the school gym, it was dark and empty outside of eleven chairs lined in a circle, all backs facing each other. 

“It could be worse.” Hiroko whispered to you as everyone grabbed a blindfold off the table that stood off in the distance, “As long as we just keep passing the tagger off to someone else we should be fine.” 

“Unless one of us gets picked by the end?” You quirked a brow as you rubbed the back of your neck, chances of that happening was one in ten but still, “I don’t like those odds Hiroko.” 

Hiroko only snorted as you both walked up, grabbing a blindfold as your eyes darted to the tags that laid out. Your brows furrowed at the stuffed bear with a blindfold on, his name tag ‘Rikku’ that took up his whole stomach, grabbing a tag as you turned back to face Hiroko.

“All we have to do is get a confession out of the tagger, it can’t be that hard.” Hiroko shrugged as she grabbed her blindfold as you puffed a breath of air, you hadn’t known her for long and despite knowing she was a lawyer before all of this...it was just still hard to imagine unless she was pressuring. Not exactly your method of going about stuff like this. 

Walking to a chair towards the left side of the room you sat down, crossing your legs as you looked up at the two clocks, one at twenty minutes that began ticking away and another holding at one minute. 

Looking towards your left your gaze immediately snapped back forward as your lips curled a little at the insufferable sight of blonde hair who made no effort to try and speak to you. 

Was he just sitting here purposely to annoy you? Because if you got tagger you would most definitely put it on him next. 

“The one minute for the tagging sequence getting ready to begin, blindfolds on.” 

Putting on your blindfold you tied it in a loose knot as you relaxed back into your chair, not being the tagger was perhaps the boring part of this game, the whole minute passed by and you briefly felt something press against your blindfold before it left. 

“Blinds off. Ten second cool down starts now.” Taking off your blindfold you flipped it over only to find the tag player stuck on it, attached magnetically as you pulled it off, proceeding to wait the ten seconds before the scoreboard went off and everyone stood up. 

“Maybe we should start easy and just show who has a name tag?” Ryu coughed a little as he scuffed his shoe against the ground, rubbing his neck as he frowned, everyone, as if it was possible, became all the more tense. 

You looked around at all the blindfolds that were being held, “I don’t think that will work, we've most likely all been provided a nametag, the only odd man out is the one with tagger. But they’ve most likely hidden it. All we can do is just take a guess of who it could be.” 

Nobody spoke for a moment making Hiroko heave a sigh as she cracked her neck, “Alright I’ll do it, I’m used to this in court. What about you!” She suddenly pointed to a shorter girl who had been fiddling with her skirt, suddenly jumping at the accusation. 

“What!? I’m- I’m not the tagger!” She squeaked out, nervousness suddenly on her expression and many of the wolves of the group were definitely preying on her right now as Hiroko puffed a breath crossing her arms. 

“Then why do you look so nervous?” She raised an accusing brow, making you shift in your spot, crossing your arms, you couldn’t agree with Hiroko’s approach to this that was just stoking fire to an already stressful atmosphere where everyone was quickly beginning to pin the blame on each other. 

You could only stand there and watch as everyone began to argue as you pinched the bridge of your nose, “We’re never gonna get anything solved if we go about it like this.” You muttered to yourself as you sighed.

“If you’re that confident in doing better then you should assert yourself more.” 

You turned to Chishiya who was also standing not quite close enough for you to say he was next to you, but close enough. Your eyes squinted into a glare as you spoke, “Right and how do I know you’re not the tagger?” 

“Because I would’ve tagged you next if I was.” Chishiya shrugged casually making you clench your fists as you let out a noise of irritation, you hated that…! Annoying smirk of his! Despite not knowing him for long you could get the idea he obviously got off on annoying you and it only fueled your irritation that much more. 

“The feelings are mutual, stranger.” You hissed as you crossed your arms, “And I’ll have you know I am not going to insert myself into...that!” You waved your hand at the sight of two of the men now shouting at each other, the taller one immediately grabbing the other by the shirt, “Because at that point you’ll just be accused with any sort of logic.” 

You puffed a breath as you wrapped your jacket around yourself, “And besides, this chaos is a great scapegoat for the real tagger to just sit back and watch everyone pick each other off-” You paused as you turned to Chishiya as you silently berated yourself, why were you even rambling to this guy!? He was a total jerk and you were not about to let go of this morning where you were only trying to help, “Why are you even talking to me? Didn’t you want us to...what? Stay strangers?” 

“I’m...not talking to you?” He raised his brows, his lips quirking into an infuriating half smile as if he had a point making your lips pucker together and your jaw clench in effort to try and keep your obvious anger to a minimum, “It’s not my fault you won’t shut up.” He had the audacity to shrug. 

You couldn’t help but stomp your foot as you glared at him, “You know what!? I get the feeling if you didn’t care you would’ve gone and sulked in the corner the whole game. In fact, I bet you like listening to me ramble. After all the whole day and a half I’ve known you that's all you do other than instigate unnecessary fights!” 

Chishiya’s gaze narrowed a little and you watched his body coil a little away from you at your words, “In what world would you think I care to listen to you?” His lips twitched into cruel smirk as he spoke, “Besides your irrational anger and blabbering, you don’t have an ounce of sense or logic in your body. You're probably best suited for hearts because all you do is spill emotion.” 

“That is not what hearts are about!” You retaliated as you threw your hands even more frustrated, “Why are you so defensive the moment I say anything in relation to you possibly not being some emotionless humanoid!? I get it,” You flailed your arms as you spoke louder, “I was a total dick for comparing you to a sociopath! Okay? I can admit that, and usually I can understand where people are coming from but- but you!? I genuinely don’t get you! At all! One moment you wanna pretend like everything's cool between us and then the next you wanna act like a total asshole! And that’s not cool!” 

Chishiya had looked away from you heaving a loud sigh making you stomp your foot again, here you were exerting all of your emotion into him and he really…! 

Your fists curling only to realize just how silent it was...you turned to look at the crowd of people who all had stopped fighting and...Oh...you felt your face become hot as you wrapped your arms around yourself in embarrassment...Were you really that loud…

“If you and your boyfriend are done arguing we have more important things to solve!” A man pointed a finger at you with a hiss making you curl away, your ears burning at his words as you snapped back, “He is not my boyfriend! Besides you aren’t getting anything done just yelling at each other,” You turned away from Chishiya now unable to even look him in the eyes at the moment, “The real question is who has been silent up until now? The tagger would obviously sit back and watch because why would they insert themselves when you’re doing a great job at killing time.” 

“The one minute for the tagging sequence getting ready to begin, blindfolds on.” 

Clenching your jaw you sat in your chair as everyone proceeded to do the same, it was now silent as you put on your blindfold, now angry and not even at the game. You wasted your whole time, not even arguing with Chishiya which somehow made you feel even more angry. 

It was like talking to a wall.

Crossing your legs you curled up against yourself, mad just...Why were you even mad? You shouldn’t be letting someone like this get under your skin. You briefly wondered why it bothered you so much. Come to think of it, you supposed it was for the exact reason you said. 

Chishiya, puzzled you to no end and you had never experienced that with someone, ever. You couldn’t figure out what he was thinking nor find an understanding as to why he was so back and forth with you. Maybe it was your misinterpretation? But...You shook your head a little despite your gaze darkened from the blindfold, it wasn’t that. 

It was obvious, for whatever reason, he was holding himself back, From what? You didn’t know, but for now…

“Blinds off. Ten second cool down starts now.” 

Pulling off your blindfold you looked at it, the same tag remaining of Player on it. You needed to focus on finding out who the tagger was, really this was like a game of hot potato, chances of the tagger getting killed was just as high as all the players dying, and who would want to take that chance? 

Maybe some, you stood up after the scoreboard went off and the original clock resumed as you turned around facing everyone to judge their reactions, Hiroko and Ryu were the same and so was Akari to your knowledge. Your eyes briefly flickered to Chishiya who had remained seated, his hands in his pockets, he also...You doubted yourself briefly, you couldn’t rule him out. 

“Who here wasn’t talking last round?” You asked, looking around at everyone, who obviously everyone immediately began speaking much to your frustration, you couldn’t expect someone to answer honestly which only meant...Puffing a breath, “Alright, how about this, let’s all trace a conversation with one person we talked too last round.” 

...You’d just have to manipulate the tagger into confessing

First you’d need to trace who was absolutely not the tagger and narrow it from there, “I’ll go first as an example since everyone seemed to hear last round,” You looked away briefly, a somewhat awkward smile on your lips, “I was talking to Chishiya about why he’s such an asshole. You don’t need his confirmation given everyone saw it, but typically you’d need someone to vouch for you in order to confirm you were talking. Now to those that didn’t talk, it doesn’t make them guilty, just more suspect.” 

“Me and Ryu were talking to each other about who the possible tagger was.” Hiroko spoke up, pulling a hand around Ryu’s waist who looked a little flush as he nodded, semi shy as you nodded yourself. That answer wasn’t too surprising. 

“Well I was talkin’ to this fine gentleman here about how I wasn’t the tagger.” Akari waved a hand to the guy beside her, who still leered but nodded in confirmation which cleared the both of them. You had hoped...this would keep civil, but as everyone went around, there was bound to be some who just genuinely didn’t remember because they were arguing with everyone, and those who were lying…

Which meant by this deduction things were narrowed down, for most people the chance of being found out you were the tagger is too stressful to be worth possibly being the only one to live in the end, thus handing it off, which meant there was...what? One in third chance each round the tagger was someone new? There were a few people you had to suspect that could have held the tagger without giving it up. 

The guy towards the middle who was very strangely calm during all of this with very empty looking eyes, and then there was the other man more towards you left who had been calmly de-escalating the situation but you didn’t miss the undertones of manipulation. It was one in third chance they could be holding it. Which meant you’d need to make sure they weren’t.

Walking over you stood more near Hiroko and Ryu as you watched two guys begin arguing again, “Every time I think we’ve made progress, it always ends up getting disturbed.” 

“Well that is the way of the world.” You kept a straight expression at the man who offered a smile that looked so unnatural to his empty eyes, you couldn’t help but feel a bit creeped out at how...insanely calm he was. You could get a sense of tension from at least Chishiya, granted it was most likely from you. 

“I’m Y/n,” You introduced, “Sense we should all be working together I figured it’d be best we at least learn each other's names.” You offered a sweet smile as you wrapped your jacket around yourself in effort to try and look unsuspecting. 

“I see how much anger you have inside you know? It’s quite obvious, from the way you lash out at others when you don’t get the response you want to the way you feel entitled to everyone's feelings, that’s not good for your health you know?” Your lips parted a little at his words, not even offended because...while he was right in some ways...he was very wrong in others, “But I understand your nature is tedious and complex, for all we not the same way?” Okay...this guy was definitely a psychopath, “I’m Sunato Banda, pleased to meet you.” He offered another smile. 

Empty eyes, disturbingly calm demeanor, even with your lives on the line he wasn’t disturbed at all, it wasn’t that he didn’t care. He just wasn’t affected, at all, like this could be a walk in the park for him. 

Psychopath, definitely. 

You’d need to be careful if tagger got in his possession otherwise he’d lie straight through his teeth and he’d never blink twice about it and you and everyone else would be unsuspecting about it.

“Well, us humans are very complex,” You nodded offering yet another smile making effort to look almost starstruck at his very poor deduction skills, again, somewhat correct, otherwise wrong. Afterall, how could someone who feels no remorse, truly understand the complexity of human nature? “Do you by any chance know who the tagger would be?” 

You’d need to make yourself look weak, pliable, if you were to get any use out of this guy, all he knew was how to do was take advantage of people, obviously, Banda offered a sly smile as he looked out over the room, his eyes washing over everyone, “Him,” He pointed a finger, “He keeps adjusting his coat as if he has something placed in there that’s uncomfortable.” 

You followed his line of sight to what looked like a business man in a suit and bowler hat, he did in fact, look quite nervous, “And why not call him out?” You asked, tilting your head exaggerated as you brimmed with curiosity. 

Banda turned to face you, a bright smile on his face as he closed his eyes, “Well I personally hope he’ll tag me next, I quite enjoy seeing a large build up in bodies.” 

..Oh...oh wow…

You gave a small nod, forcing a smile as you held yourself before excusing yourself from him, well, at least it definitely wasn’t him for now. Otherwise you’d be in trouble right now. And now you had a prime suspect. Some could overthink that and argue that perhaps he was lying just to get you off his trail. But personally? There was no way it’d be him, he wouldn’t do something like that. You got the feeling Banda, was a simple man. 

You turned to find the two guys from before who were tussling suddenly growl, one throwing a punch and before he could even fully hit the guy a deep red laser broke through the ceiling, you were frozen for a half a second at the sight of it shooting through the top of his head. Everyone was quiet as they looked down at the sight of a now dead body. 

Right...that was a rule, violence was prohibited. 

“The one minute for the tagging sequence getting ready to begin, blindfolds on.” 

You scurried back to your seat, sitting down as you pulled up your blindfold, “It’s that guy wearing the dumb bowler hat.” Your head looked towards you left despite not being able to see, Chishiya’s voice was quiet as he spoke, “While you were busy wasting time, I watched the real tagger- that school girl place it in his back pocket.” 

“The tagger can do that during the round?” You whispered back perplexed at the idea, how could you have missed that? Unless...she placed it right as you approached Banda? Thus him seeing the man realize he had been tagged and now nervously adjusting himself?

“There aren't any rules stating otherwise, makes it fair game.” Chishiya replied, he immediately quieted at the sound of footsteps tapping on the floor, they were definitely on your side of the ring. Your breath hitched a little at feeling something press against your forehead. Oh shit before the sound of footsteps walked away. 

“We just need to watch for him next round.” Chishiya spoke once more as you leaned back in your seat, trying to find a reason for why you just felt what you did. 

“Blinds off. Ten second cool down starts now. Final round will be next round” 

You hurriedly took yours off as you flipped it over looking down at it, 

Tagger

Motherfucker. 

You quickly grabbed it off, at first trying to push it into your pocket only to realize they were fake. God you hated women’s clothing, your eyes shot to the clock that only had five seconds left, with nowhere to put it you shoved it down your bra as you collected yourself. Okay you...you could make this work. 

But now you were presented with a plethora of options. You honestly didn’t think it would be passed off to you. But now...you...you could keep it...You stood up as the scoreboard went off, but...Everyone else would die. Or...you could confess and you’d die. These options were not great. Next round was the last round, so if you gave it up...you’d be reassuring someone’s victory. 

You stood next to Chishiya as his eyes kept with the man from before with the bowler hat, “He might have gotten it passed back to him.” His eyes narrowed a little onto the guy. 

Do you find a way to discreetly tell him? Or would that also count as a confession…? It wouldn’t be a confession if you made yourself suspect. But...you couldn’t honestly trust Chishiya, not after his unstable display of distrust in you. 

“He could be,” You replied, leaning in a little as you watched him, he appeared relieved once more, he was the one freaked out about this after all...you felt a brief wave of guilt inside you at what your mind had suddenly come up with. 

With Chishiya’s suspect still on the man, all you needed to do was plant it back on him and pressure a confession out of him next round. 

You were very much going to hell after this. 

“He was the one that started accusing last round too and made someone die,” You hummed as you stuffed your hands in your pocket, “That guy also thought it was him. He’s definitely good at reading people,” You thought back to the way he tried to read you, which was somewhat accurate, but people like you and him, you couldn’t always accurately read each other. Except you weren’t insane like him, “At this point we don’t have much to lose.” 

You could see the cogs turning in Chishiya’s head as he stared menacingly at the man who looked at him and jolted a little at such an intense stare, “If I were the tagger by this point,” You were treading on very thin ice at the moment, “I’d keep it just for myself, instead passing it off. He’s gone this far without anyone really pressuring him. It’d be the smartest move by now.” 

“Then we’ll settle on him.” Chishiya replied, his gaze cold as he glared down at the man who mindlessly fixed his tie, trying to look cool despite being intimidated, clearly. He had a weak mentality, if you couldn’t break him next round, Chishiya most definitely would. 

“The one minute for the tagging sequence getting ready to begin, blindfolds on.” 

You supposed he was good for something even when you couldn’t trust him. 

Sitting down in your chair you put your blindfold on and waited a second before taking it back off, standing back up as you carefully stepped as quietly as you could, pulling the Tagger out of your bra before you walked over to the man who had just tagged you before pressing it against his blindfold, you watched his lips quiver as he let out a quiet, “Please…!” 

Your expression went cold as you turned around, glancing at the clock before you walked away and sat back down in your chair, putting your blindfold back on as you waited for the announcer once more. 

“Blinds off. Ten second cool down starts now. Final round.” 

You took the blindfold off, looking down feeling content at the Player tag as you stood up along with Chishiya who’s eyes went between you and the man before he pushed his hands back into his pockets, “If you’re all done pointing fingers and wasting time,” His gaze became a little more cool as he spoke, “Then we should go ahead and show who the real tagger is.” 

Both you and Chishiya glanced at the man who was now looking insanely nervous, sweat dripping down his neck and if this wasn’t life or death, you would’ve felt a little bad...Some parts of you still did, but it was either all of you or just him. 

“He does look pretty nervous.” Hiroko narrowed her eyes on him and from this moment forward you knew it was game over for him, quite literally. With all three of you there was no way he’d survive, crossing your arms you lifted your chin a little, “Say, weren’t you the one who got really defensive when the finger got pointed at you last round?” 

“I’m…!” He flailed a little, wiping his brow with his hand as he suddenly pointed an accusing finger at you, “It’s her you want! She’s a manipulative bitch!” You pressed your hand against your chest in fake hurt as you raised your brows, “She’s the one pitting everyone against me when she’s really the tagger. She’s going to leave you all to die.” 

The majority of eyes fled to you as you shrugged, “Why would I do that when I could just give it to you?” You gave a wickedly sweet smile as you giggled a little, “And watch it all go down. I mean, you must be agreeing now?” You raised your brows as you goaded, “About being the tagger?” 

“I…!” He struggled with his words, now glaring at you as you raised your brows once more as you shook your head, “I…! Now you’re just doing this on purpose! Trying to get into everyone's head and make everyone die! Can’t- can’t you see what she’s doing!” He cried out as he backed away from everyone. 

“I dunno’ you seem pretty guilty to me.” Akari shrugged as she poked her tongue into her cheek, not looking the least bit remorseful for the guy as she leaned her weight onto one side. 

“I get it,” You shrugged as you laughed a little, “You’re probably that kinda guy who’s never really stood up for himself, you probably got bullied as a kid and let yourself get run over by people all the time, even now, and now in desperation you attempt to hold your own and yet...” You tilted your head with a frown as you mocked, “You still can’t do anything right. I guess that goes to show, that people like you just never have a spine. If you can’t assert yourself now with your life on the line, you might as well die now. Because let’s face it, people like you only end in two ways, either spineless pathetic existence or you become the abuser out of a sick need to regain what you lost as a kid.” 

Reverse psychology, worked in the most simplistic ways. 

That seemed to get him to snap, you watched his eyes dilate and pure unfurled rage cross his expression as he shrieked, “Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! You know nothing about my life! You know nothing about me! And because I’m the tagger I’ll get to watch all you pathetic people die! Who’s in control now!?” 

It’s a shame he couldn’t take control of his life in any other circumstance. 

Everyone paused and even he himself paused at the realization, his eyes welled with tears that made something deep in your heart lurch, your eyes squinting a little as your expression wilted a little as the red laser broke through the roof shooting him straight through the top of his head. His body crumpling to the ground. 

‘Game Cleared’

Everyone was still for a moment before you looked down at the blindfold and then to your hands, the memory hazy yet the memory of red staining them still so clear as you felt ringing in your ears and your vision blur for a moment as you let the fabric slip through your fingers. Running a hand through your hair you wrapped your arms around your jacket as you walked past the body, briefly looking at the once timid man who obviously let others run his life.

“Sorry.” You whispered quietly as you stepped over the corpse, “Come on, let’s go. I don’t wanna stay around here.” You looked towards the other three who nodded, also looking semi apprehensive as well. 

Now that the moment was over, the cruel reality was back to remind you that you just gaslit someone into admitting their own suicide. It was hard to not feel innately disgusted with yourself despite your reasoning that you and all of your friends would’ve died if you had. Still, what you did was okay. You were supposed to help people like him, not encourage them to snap. 

If you didn’t feel conflicted before you certainly felt conflicted now, looking at the register you ignored the visa print as you grabbed the playing card off the table. 

And as if mocking, this was only a three of hearts. You couldn’t imagine what higher level games looked like with this. You’d definitely need to be careful in the future, “Y/n! Come on, let’s go!” You looked behind at Hiroko nodding towards the exit. 

“You guys go on, I’ll catch up later.” You looked down at the card again, Hiroko frowned at your figure, wanting to say something but she understood, the first few days of the Borderlands were never easy. With that, she left. Besides you needed to get changed before you headed for the beach again. 

Walking out of the exit you grabbed your bag that was, just as you anticipated, still against the wall, leaning down you opened it up as you began digging through to try and find your bathing suit top. Stuffing the card inside you furrowed your brows, why did the electricity have to go out so soon? 

“You could’ve kept the tagger and won but you didn’t. Why?” 

You paused your search at the sound of Chishiya’s voice, sounding like he was- not interrogating you but definitely investigating. You resumed once more as you shrugged, “I could’ve.” You agreed, and it did cross your mind after all, “I thought about it,” You admitted right after as you pulled out the swimsuit top, “But maybe to some degree you were right,” You stood up as you turned to face him, “I am spilling emotion constantly. And if there was a chance I could’ve saved all of us in turn for one? It didn’t seem like that big of a reach to do really…” You looked away from him as you grabbed your neck, feeling a bit sheepish, “It was by chance you had spotted him before and it was by luck that I was given tagger for the last round. I knew all you needed was just mutual confirmation in your assessment before initiating the end.” 

You sighed as you looked down at the elastic material in your hand as you frowned, “For what it’s worth, I would’ve probably done it to him regardless of whether he had been the tagger or not. It doesn’t take much to break the weakest link. That’s probably the saddest part to be honest.” 

You grabbed your backpack off the ground as you looked up at Chishiya before back towards the entrance where others slowly began to filter out, “I doubt he even realized the trap I set him up for,” You smiled wryly as you shook your head, “People are so easy to mislead, I forget sometimes, the power that can hold.” 

You turned around, intending to go change, “What were you before all of this?” You looked back at Chishiya, his gaze cool as ever and his eyes scanning over you as if in search for an answer that didn’t exist. Briefly your heart jumped in nervousness, did you dare tell the truth? 

Laughing you let out a sigh what was the use in hiding in this world? There were no laws and honestly, who could judge you? “I was a prostitute.” You looked away, feeling somewhat bashful as you awkwardly rubbed your neck, you could tell that was not what Chishiya had been expecting you to say.

 “Oh…!” Your lips parted suddenly feeling even more stupid at the realization that was not what he meant by his question, “You...You probably meant what I’m majoring in...sorry. Uh-” You gave him an apologetic smile that was more out of your sake of humiliation as assuming. Clearing your throat you turned back over your shoulder as you gave him one last look, holding up the three of hearts as you answered, “I’m a major in psychology ♡ ” 

[janiedean]

if you ever wrote that rant about grrm making jon his chosen one deconstruction i'd be very happy to read it 👀

hello anon sorry for the lateness but here we go *deep breath*

sssooo, I had once ranted about it though not mentioning the thing I mentioned in those tags so lemme see if I can find the op and like... cp the main argument and amend it bc it was long, but okay so I found it, original anon asked me: why is Jon considered to be one of the most special characters grrm created? Why is he not the typical hero of fantasy books?, my original answer was here if anyone wants to go there but basically lemme just cp the first part making it shorter and then I'm adding:

first thing, the Typical Post-Tolkien Chosen One With A Shitty Life Before He Finds Out He Is Chosen™ character (I’m saying post-tolkien because every fantasy writer in existence who copies tolkien thinks that lotr went like that and instead it didn’t) usually goes through the following steps: his life sucks up until the beginning of the series, his family generally hates him/her or doesn’t appreciate them or abuses them or anyway doesn’t make their life easier and they’ve never known any different, but *something* never quite worked right and they always knew something was missing in their life, they just didn’t know why. suddenly someone who knows they were Chosen™ shows up and tells them that they’re actually Special because of this this and that and they have a quest to go on to save the world or something. our hero/heroine obviously is finally validated and while their quest is hard and full of hardships and maybe they lose a few friends along the way, finding out that they were Chosen gives their life meaning, they usually find love/friends/everything they didn’t have before until they fulfill the Prophecy™ and live more or less happily ever after, possibly after hooking up with the Person Of Their Dreams with whom they had UST up until the last twenty pages of the book. basically: being Chosen™ in regular fantasy novels is a good thing because suddenly you’re special and all the crap you suffered acquires a new meaning and in the end it made your life better.

jon snow is a complete overhaul of about everything in this sense because

instead of having a family who hates him he has a family who actually mostly loves him, and with ned it’s arguably so much that he risks royal treason by keeping him hidden from his *best friend* - sure, there’s cat and peripherally sansa, but his issues stem from the fact that he feels lesser because he’s a bastard (as far as he knows) and it’s a *class* issue, not a *my family hates me* issue not counting catelyn obv but that's what gives him freudian issues more on that in the emended part later

no one actually knows that he’s Chosen™ - like mel could get there and probably will and someone will put two and two together when his parentage comes out in the open, but he doesn’t have a gandalf or mentor who shows him The Way Towards His Quest

so instead of going from ‘my life sucks but I’m going on a quest which is gonna be a+’ he actively chooses to leave a fairly decent situation (a household he knows, siblings who love him - ned actually hoped he’d become robb’s counselor or right hand man or something from what we can gather) because he feels like he has to prove he’s better than his name and goes to the Crappiest Place In Westeros. like idk if people grasp it, but the wall is basically a prison and at the ripe age of fourteen he decides that it’s totally a good and honorable choice (his only choice actually) to go defend the realm in the freezing cold along with a bunch of criminals/derelicts/rejects of society

at which point he makes friends among said rejects and let’s remember that it’s the point where he actually has to do his first an only privilege when donal noye made him go like hey you were brought up with nobles these ppl are here because they stole bread, and that helps making him more into the person he is rn but like your tyopical fantasy hero who has had a shitty life doesn’t usually have to acknowledge that other people might have had it worse

then he goes on the Quest where he finds his first One True Love, and that’s where it turns even worse because usually the quest is where things start to go right for the Hero™, instead for jon they start to go wronger, because first he has to go undercover which pretty much tests most of his belief/code system, he falls in love with a girl he has to betray, half of his friends and his lord commander die along the way, while he’s off doing his thing winterfell gets taken/burned and robb dies when jon openly stated that he also was going to the wall to defend his family and keep them safe (yeaaah worked out real well), when he goes back to the wall he has to fight the people he lived with for months, the woman he loves dies in his arms and he can’t do anything about it and he’s aware it couldn’t have gone any other way, people put defending the wall on him and then put his loyalty in question, when stannis shows up with a legitimization (which is everything he ever wanted) he refuses because he doesn’t want to accidentally steal his siblings’s inheritance (which was what cat was so worried about hahaha) and actively chooses the crappy defending the realm life all over again. also in all this time his being Chosen™ hasn’t manifested or helped him in any way whatsoever - actually all his honor-moral code related baggage is what  moral dilemmas come from that. like, your usual chosen hero™ would always take the right decision and it all turns out good eventually, jon takes the morally right decision and it all turns SOUR eventually

at this point he finally gets elected LC, thanks to his friends also pitching in, which is about the one fantasy hero™ thing that’s happened for now. should be good, yes?

lol no, because he ends up with THAT hellish responsibility at sixteen, since he thinks that he has absolutely to be even better than that now and he has very specific notions about how you should lead and he knows he has to take unpopular decisions/decisions that he doesn’t necessarily like, he ends up either having to send his friends away forreal (sam) or detaching from them (pyp/grenn/the likes) and when as far as he knows he learns that his sister is married to ramsay he can’t do anything about it

never mind that it’s the same situation as when he had to pick the watch or robb in book one - he went there to defend his family and now being there actually prevents him from helping them in person. ops. meanwhile he’s trying to implement a new vision of things which is modern and smart and actually makes sense because why fighting the wildlings when you have ZOMBIES coming. your usual Chosen One™ would get people to approve just because he’s the Chosen One

instead jon gets stabbed to death - okay, that was also because he wanted to go get arya but it was the last straw, people were pissed over the wildlings plan first and foremost

so basically he’s gone through all the Chosen One™ steps but in reverse - he loses his family which did love him instead of finding another one that makes the first pale in comparison, he does find a new one who loves him but has to alienate most of its members for responsibility reasons as a consequence of what should have been the crowning achievement of his life choices (which eventually is NOT one), he falls in love and they don’t drag the UST forever but they never get a chance to be together without small print in between, he chooses the admittedly most masochistic life he could for his family as well and half of them die and he can’t do a thing for the other half, every other mentor-like figure he runs into after ned dies, instead of finding validation he ends up having to isolate himself and on top of everything HE STILL DOESN’T FUCKING KNOW HE’S THE CHOSEN ONE™

so instead of his life going better the more he learns stuff and matures as a person, he gets murdered. by the people he trusts and who were supposed to be his new family. haha?

never mind that when he finds out he’s the Chosen One™ it won’t bring him closure because all he ever wanted was being full stark like his father/siblings and then bam he’s going to find out his father’s actually targaryen and what does that even mean to him?

on top of that being AA will just be a pain because I don’t believe for a second he’s not going to get leftover ptsd and who the hell is gonna help him deal with it? or how is he ever getting over his *brothers* murdering him? and people are going to ask stuff of him all over again and he’s gonna have to go slay a mythical monster and if I know grrm it’s not gonna be fun, pretty or cathartic FOR HIM

on top of that, Chosen Hero™ fulfills the prophecy and gets a realm to rule and everyone lives happily ever after. money is that if jon does get that realm (and I think he is because he has the best claim if he's legitimate and most likely it'll turn out he was on the targ side but ROBB also legitimized him so he has double the legitimization), he’s going to hate every second of it and he’ll take it because a) duty, b) literally no one else is available, and like this guy didn’t want to rule a realm or be a king or anything he just wanted to be a stark, and instead he’s going to have to after all that shit thanks to Magical And Noble Heritage he hadn’t even known he had and probably didn’t even want up to that point because since when jon wanted to be a targ? yeah since never

obviously I hope he manages to be somewhat happy regardless because the alternative is too miserable, but basically being a Chosen Hero™ is what makes jon’s life worse rather than better and the fact that hew went through all the regular self-discovery journey for the fantasy hero list doesn’t mean he’s not flipping that over in his sl. the fact that he stayed a decent person more or less throughout it and that he hasn’t turned into a bitter asshole also doesn’t change the main point XD

tldr: jon snow is not a typical fantasy hero because he deconstructs that trope into tiny little bits same as robb deconstructed the arthurian flawless king hero trope

now ^^^^^ THAT was what I originally wrote for that meta but adding on to what I said in those tags

okay so... there is a certain tendency to also make the chosen one™ special in the sense that he's kind of goals - good looking, rich or set to inherit, gallant, takes the initiative, he's like.. social or anyway immediately makes friends etc and all that jazz which jon... doesn't really fit

like jon is an introvert who immediately makes friends just with outcasts and his siblings also bc he feels like one but he's hardly a social butterfly and charms everyone wherever he walks by

I mean ffs says all that the only person he charmed in that sense is stannis who is the literal only person in charge in the books who is more introvert than him and has worse communication issues and appreciates ppl going straight to the point

on top of that in the book he looks like ned.... and arya looks like ned and ned isn't described as being particularly handsome that was brandon so he's not even like... I mean kit h. is v. pretty and I think he was a good choice for the role and I'll die on the hill that he was born to play that character and he did it well but book!jon doesn't have that kinda pretty face so the concept that he's the HOT alternative to anyone to me is kind of iffy bc he's not

he's shit at social interactions and at PR which is why robb and him would have been a key winning ticket like he has a better idea of the larger picture but robb would have actually made sure ppl didn't turn against them bc he actually was good at that but like he doesn't go around rallying armies in his name does he

the one time he's been with a girl it was ygritte and like he courted her without realizing it and then she had to pursue him and he barely knew wtf to do on top of the fact that they slept with ghost in the middle of them like a sword which..... is.... I mean sleeping with the sword in the middle was a thing to make sure the maiden stayed a maiden and he's the one who is like i CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH HER EVEN IF I WANT TO BECAUSE I'M TECHNICALLY SPYING ON THEM like... he's not... gallant-knight coded

never mind that the moment they do the do she basically does everything until he decides to try the oral which I mean... isn't exactly alphadominatingmale out of jon which is not a given with the trope he's supposed to represent like he's not smooth he's not suave he's like WHAT THE FUCK when ygritte tells him he has a pretty face bc most likely no one else told him that and he like... doesn't pursue people like that in general which is also not exactly 100% what that trope usually goes for

we can add that he has a lot of passive-aggressive little shit sarcasm in him that they didn't let him go for in the show but like... usually chosen heroes™ don't think what he thinks about selyse in general

we can also add that he's not automatically above being better than his position like... he doesn't take winterfell bc ygritte is dead but he did think he'd have taken the deal sansa or not if stannis had said he could marry her and not val and if she wasn't dead, he basically went off the rails at the dude he was fighting with thinking about robb telling him that he couldn't be lord of wf because he was a bastard and he's absolutely not in the frame of mind of 'well I was born a bastard who cares it doesn't define me'

he's obsessed to the point of unhealthy with actually being defined by it which is why he was better off with the wildlings aka the only idiots in the realm who don't gaf about that

and that's like... I mean usually if chosen ones™ have parental issues it's like 'you were an orphan and raised by asses who weren't your parents but your parents loved you and you'll find out at some point and you'll be happier for it and make your own family', jon is like... he has the mommy freudian issues of the century bc of how cat treated him, on the other side he's obsessed with living up to ned's/his father's name and he hates that it makes him not-belonging or that he feels like he doesn't even if he does with his siblings, and at the same time when the truth about it comes out he's going to get the cold shower of the century bc like - he's spent all that time thinking BUT DID MY MOTHER WANT ME WHO WAS MY MOTHER and he's going to find out of who it was and how he was born and honestly considering that lyanna most likely did regret running with rhaegar the moment he finds that out and that she died birthing him how is he going to feel? - also he spends his life wanting to live up to his 'father's' name aka ned aka someone known to be honorable to a fault and then it turns out his bio father is... the dude who started that entire rebellion not doing a very honorable thing? - also if jon*erys is a thing idt that he'd take 'I fell in love with my aunt' so nonchalantly as he did in the show tldr: he's never gonna get over his parental issues in a short time and when that particular brick hits him in the face it won't be pretty

like the entire point of jon is that he goes through all the chosenone™ cursus honorum as we'd call it in high school when studying latin but each step that means smth good for the usual chosenone™ to him is something bad, being one is not going to make his life better and throughout the entire thing he does not fit that stereotype when it comes to look, personality, basic traits and familial history and like hell he's going to have the happy ending tied up with the bow - like I think he gets a bittersweet one and eventually goes off with the wildlings bc he belongs there after being jon snow first of his name (bc like hell he's not reclaiming his bastard background at the end of this entire mess I'm eating my hat if he doesn't) after splitting the seven realms and fixing things but that's hardly the neat happy ending the chosenone™ usually gets so that's my two cents

... christ this was long *raises hands*

[ethereal-bang]

Mr. Big Shot

REQUESTS: OPEN 

Characters: Seo Changbin + Female Reader

Words: 3.2k (I got carried away lol) 

Type: Smut, some fluff, angst if you squint

Warnings: dom!Changbin, brat!reader, slight degradation, orgasm denial, oral (both parties giving + receiving), unprotected penitrative sex (use protection always!), general hard dom themes, Changbin is kinda conceited at first but it’ll be ok don’t worry 

This is a piece of fiction and is not suitable for anyone UNDER THE AGE OF 18. 

Summary: You run into the hot shot producer on campus at a frat party, who seems to take a liking to you, the only person who doesn’t care. 

________________________________________________________________

You don’t even like frat parties.

The LED lights that are somehow always a dark blue, the more than slightly used furniture that has no doubt been passed down a generation or two, not to mention the obnoxious antics of drunk, stressed college kids? Not your thing. In fact, the only reason why you were here was because of your roommate Rose, who had her eye on Bang Chan, a member of the frat who’s kitchen you were currently sitting in. By yourself, with a drink in hand. It isn’t even good alcohol, either; just some sad excuse of an Amaretto Sour that was not even giving you a nice buzz. 

It’s around midnight at this point, and the party is in full swing. Couches in the living room were pushed against the walls to ensure ample room for dancing, sweaty bodies clinging to each other and grinding to the beat playing out of the speakers set up in the main room. You look around the room and you see a few people you recognize from your classes, but most remain unfamiliar to you. 

ADK (Alpha Delta Kappa) was one of, if not the biggest (and most popular) frat on campus. Their parties were always crowded, mixing top 40s hits with some original music that the music production majors of the house compose themselves. The parties almost always ended up lasting until sunrise, and you can only take pity on their neighbors, who have to deal with the noise so late into the night.

You, however, had no intention for staying that long. Getting annoyed, you pushed your way through the sea of people in search of Rose, to let her know you were going home. As you walk through the crowd, finally spotting your roommate and heading her way, someone grabs you by the arm and spins you around to face them.

“Can I help you?” you ask, attitude through the roof as if someone thought they could just grab you like that. “Well, you sure seem to be in a hurry. I’m just trying to keep you company,” the man says with a charming (read: aggravating) smile. You look up at him in annoyance and also confusion. You’re pretty sure you’ve never seen this guy in your life.

He looked to be one of those snobby rich kids; his hair dyed silver and styled oh-so-perfectly, complemented by a button down that you could clearly tell was designer. His shoulders were broad, and his skin a glowing tan that actually would’ve made him look like the sun itself, if his smile wasn’t so smug.

“I’m..sorry, do I know you?” You ask, and his expression goes from smug to shocked in under three seconds. “You don’t know who I am?” He asks, unconvinced. “Yeah, I have no idea who you are. Sorry, maybe you mistook me for someone else.” you say. You try to leave, but his grip is still on your wrist, and you’re forced to turn back round. Wanting nothing more than to clock the man standing in front of you, you huff and give him a piercing glare. “Let go of me,” you insist. He smirks and let’s go of your wrist, but for some reason the look he’s giving you makes you freeze on the spot. “My name is Changbin. Give me one dance sweetheart, that’s all I’m asking,” he says, his eyes never leaving yours. 

Changbin...you were racking your brain trying to figure out why that name sounded so familiar to you. And then it hit you.

Seo Changbin is a member of AKD, and a friend of Chan’s. You figured he must be the Spear B that everyone on campus raves about, and now you know where his cocky demeanor is coming from. Girls and guys alike fall for all 3 members of 3racha. You had never met Changbin before, so it was no surprise you didn’t recognize him right away. Up until now, he was almost like a piece of folklore; everyone had a story about him but you were pretty sure he didn’t exist. 

This would be a bad idea. Giving into him. You knew it would be. But regardless, he was attractive, and it doesn’t hurt to have a little fun every once in a while, right?

He watched your resolve slowly crumble as he stuck out his hand. Taking it, he pulls you onto the dance floor (well...the spot of the living room that was turned into one anyway) and doesn’t hesitate to turn you around, feeling your back come into contact with his broad chest. 

There’s an upbeat pop song playing through the DJ speakers, and you start to sway your hips along to the beat while trying to distract yourself from the arousal that's starting to creep in as you feel Changbin’s arms snake around your waist, pushing your hips against his. “I’m Y/N, by the way,” you say, remembering that you hadn’t even told him your name. You can feel his breath ghosting against your neck as he brings his mouth to your ear. “So, Y/N,” he asks, “you really didn’t recognize me did you?” he asked, the feign hurt in his tone making you roll your eyes. “You know, you’re not all that special Mr. Big Shot,” you say, chuckling under your breath.

“Hmm and how can you say that? This is the first time we’ve met, doll. Can’t think you’d know everything about me just yet.” he says, and the use of the nickname sets you on fire. His hips have started moving to match your own, and you would be lying if the pressure you were starting to feel on your lower back didn’t spur you on to tease him a little, moving your hips away from him now and again only to have him pull you right back, turning you around to face him this time. “Aaanddd where do you think you’re going?” He laughs, and you roll your eyes at him. “Does it look like I’m going anywhere?” you say as you start moving your hips again. 

“Better lose the attitude baby, it’s gonna get you in trouble if you’re not careful,” he says, his eyes darkening as you wind your arms around his neck. “Will it now? No offense, but I don’t think you’ll be able to do much damage,” you say, although you can feel yourself breaking already as you have less than innocent thoughts running through your mind. 

“Is that a challenge I hear?” he questions, raising an eyebrow at your antics. “Does it sound like one?” you snap back, anticipating his next move.

Before you know it, Changbin’s lips are on your neck, his grip tightening on your waist exponentially. “Just remember: you asked for it.” he says against your ear as he pulls you from the living room and down the hallway of the AKD house. 

Once Changbin has you in his room, door locked, it’s game on. He immediately pushes you against the bedroom door and begins his attack on your neck once again. You want to keep your composure; make him think that you’re not that easy to break, wanting to make him work for it, but the way he moves his lips up your neck and finally to your lips is already making you want to surrender and let him have his way with you. He bites your bottom lip, asking for entrance which you immediately grant him. Kissing Changbin was different. It was red hot and every movement was making the knot of excitement in your stomach tighten. 

His hands slip under your shirt, and the feeling of them on your bare skin has you letting out the tiniest whimper. He pulls away from your lips with a smirk. “There it is..I know you’re starting to break baby, why don’t you just be good for me and do as you’re told, huh?” He teases, lifting your shirt up to touch more of your skin. “Not a chance,” you tell him, although your voice is already sounding breathy. You move to touch him over his jeans, his cock already hard. 

Changbin groans quietly and moves to grip your hair. He pulls your head back harshly, and laughs at the expression of pleasure on your face. “All I had to do was use a little force and you’re putty in my hands, baby.. I knew it. You like being bossed around don’t you?” He says, fingers moving under your skirt. “Answer me, slut.” He says, pulling your hair once more for good measure. “Yes sir,” you gasp, feeling every ounce of brat you had in you leaving your body. “That’s more like it,” he says, releasing your hair. “On your knees,” he orders, pushing your shoulders downward.

You immediately oblige, looking up at him with wide eyes as you undo his belt and pop the button of his jeans. Pulling his cock out from his underwear, you’re pleased with what you see. Changbin is surprisingly well endowed; long and rather thick, and you can’t help but imagine what he’ll feel like in your mouth. 

Grabbing the base of his cock, you give kitten licks to the head, pink and enticing. You hear Changbin groan and you make eye contact with him. “Stop teasing doll, you won’t like the outcome,” he growls, and that’s enough for you to take him as far into your mouth as you can, tip hitting the back of your throat. You make sure to run your tongue along the underside of his cock, tracing the vein and making sure he feels you on every inch of him. You start off a steady pace, Changbin’s fingers pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail. You suddenly relax your throat and take all of him, gagging slightly as he slides down your throat. “Jesus Christ,” the man says as he feels your throat around him. “You’re so good at this,” he says breathily and the praise spurs you to continue. Before you even get the chance, Changbin is setting the pace, fucking into your throat. Tears stream down your face at the roughness of it all, but the moan you let out around his dick lets Changbin know that you’re doing just fine.

Pulling you off of his cock, he sighs. “As much as I would love to cum down that pretty throat of yours, doll, I have other plans.” He says, picking you up and immediately making his way to his bed, laying you down on the soft pillows rather roughly. He’s over you in an instant, taking your shirt off as well as his own, and letting his eyes roam over your chest and the pretty pink lace that adorns you. “Hm, pink. It’s cute.” he says quietly and you blush, the compliment soft in contrast to the situation. You take a second to admire him, and it was just what you had imagined. Tan skin, muscles flexing as he’s moving over you. He lets his lips wander your collarbone, taking the skin into his mouth and sucking a dark purple spot that will definitely leave you thinking about him for days to come.

Taking one of your breasts in his hand, he enjoys the feeling of the lace under his hands. You arch your back slightly as he takes the nipple in between his fingers, twisting and pulling until it’s hard. He does the same to the other, and you almost want to start begging. It seems like he can read your mind as he moves you to sit up so he can take your bra off for you. He gets it in one try, and you’re not surprised. Once the piece of fabric is removed he replaces his fingers with his mouth, circling his tongue around your nipple and biting on it teasingly.

His kisses start trailing down your abdomen, sucking random marks into your skin that you know will end up bruising. You buck your hips up instinctively, silently begging for him to just touch you. Placing a hand on your stomach to hold your hips down, Changbin settles in between your legs, leaving kisses on your inner thighs as he pushes your skirt up. “Changbin,” you breathe, hoping he’ll just get the hint. “Yes, doll? What is it?” he says, opting to just take your skirt off, revealing the matching panties underneath. You lay there, refusing to beg and trying to hold onto whatever resolve you had left. “I won’t know what you want unless you use your words, baby. Come on,” he says, continuing the kisses on your thighs, fingers playing with the elastic of your underwear. Huffing, you finally give in.

“Please Changbin, I need you” you begin to beg, and he looks up at you. “You need me? Need me where, baby? Here?” he says, his lips moving closer to your core but not where you truly want them. “Need your tongue on my clit. Please,” you ask quietly and he finally pulls your panties down, throwing them somewhere. “I don’t know doll, doesn’t sound like you really want it,” he chuckles, and your cheeks go red as you realize just what he wants to hear.

“Please Changbin, I need your tongue so bad. I promise I will be so good..just..just please,” you basically whine the latter half of the sentence, hoping it’ll get your point across. “Now, was that so bad?” He says and finally licks a stripe up your clit, you moan out loud at the sensation, finally getting what you want. 

Changbin is relentless, lips and tongue moving in a way that you have never experienced before. Switching from flat licks against your heat to small kitten licks against your clit. You can feel the knot in your core tighten impossibly tight, and you almost can’t take it anymore.

Changbin knows your close, and pulls away from your pussy. His lips are glistening and he looks up at you with a smile when he hears you whine. “Please Changbin don’t st-stop,” you say, feeling sad as your high ebbs away slowly. “Mm I don’t know if you deserve it, you need to be punished for how bratty you were acting earlier..you realize that acting up means punishments, don’t you doll?” He says, fingers tracing patterns into your thighs, moving closer to your core to tease you even further. “Yes sir I understand.” You say, just hoping that he’ll eventually give you what you want.

“Good. Now, you’re not allowed to come until I tell you to. Understood?” He says, moving back to your clit. “I understand sir,” you say, throwing your head back as his tongue finally comes into contact with your core again.

Changbin edges you two, maybe three more times after that. Honestly, you stopped counting, just trying to focus on every ounce of pleasure that he’s giving you. It was truly torture. The only thoughts in your head were him, him, him, and you knew he was set on making sure that wasn’t going to change any time soon. At this point he already has two fingers inside of you, and you’re sure you’re going to explode until Changbin slows his ministrations at the last moment, edging you for the fourth time. He trails his fingers to your mouth. “Open,” he says and you immediately comply, cleaning his fingers off and sucking on them once for good measure.

“Are you ready for me, baby?” he asks, taking his jeans and underwear off, leaving the both of you completely naked. You nod your head furiously. “What’s your color doll? I need to make sure you’re okay with this,” he says as he runs the head of his cock through your folds. “Green, Sir fuck, just plea-” your sentence is cut off with a moan as Changbin finally pushes himself into you, going slowly to let you adjust. Once he’s bottomed out he leans forward to capture your lips in a kiss. Once the slight sting of the stretch has dissipated, the fire igniting in you grows stronger and you move your hips, signaling to him that you’re okay.

Changbin pulls all the way out and slams back in, your eyes rolling into the back of your head almost instantly. The drag of his cock against your walls is enough to have you seeing stars, finally satiating all of your desires. He sets a rough and steady pace, and it’s hard to keep yourself together. The room is filled with a mix of sounds; skin slapping against each other, your breathy whines and a grunt from Changbin every so often.

“Look at you doll, taking me so well. You were really made for my cock weren’t you? All mine to ruin and destroy.” he says in your ear, one hand going around your throat and applying slight pressure. It’s bringing you closer to the edge and Changbin knows it, snaking his free hand down to your body to rub harsh circles on your clit. “Go ahead baby, cum for me, let the whole house know who’s making you feel this good” He says as his pace quickens. 

His permission was all you needed, the knot coiling tight and finally breaking. Your vision goes white, and your legs are shaking as your orgasm finally washes over you, stronger than ever due to the four denied orgasms you’ve already had tonight. “Oh my god, Changbin,” you repeat over and over, riding out your high as he continues his rough pace. He was getting close too, the feeling of you contracting around his cock bringing him to the edge. He pulls out and flips you around, helping you get to your hands and knees before he inserts himself in you once again, the new position letting him fuck you harder than before. 

“I’m almost there baby, you think you can cum for me one more time?” he says with a grunt. You’re still sensitive from your first orgasm and you can definitely feel a second one approaching, babbling nonsense as Changbin starts to lose control. His thrusts become more erratic, and his hand is around your throat again, pulling you close to him as he fucks you into the mattress. 

Your second orgasm washes over you and the only thing you know how to say is his name. The feeling of your own orgasm finally pushes him over the edge too, groaning as he spills into you and helps you both ride out your highs. Once you’ve calmed down he pulls out of you, and you both fall to the mattress. 

Changbin pulls you into his arms, bringing your back against his chest, just how it was when you first met him earlier in the night. “That, was…” you say,  “Amazing.” Changbin finishes your sentence for you and it makes you giggle. Snuggling into you a little closer, you hear him laugh under his breath.

“I know this is a little backwards, but I was wondering if you’d let me take you to dinner tomorrow,” he says hesitantly. You turn around in his hold and place a gentle kiss to his cheek. “I..would love that, Changbin.” you say right before you succumb to the desire to sleep. The last thing you remember is a kiss on your forehead.

Your dreams seem to be filled with him, and when you wake up the next morning, seeing him bathed in the soft morning light, you feel content for the first time in a long time. And you welcome the change. 

Maybe Seo Changbin is all that special, and then some.

[sunflowerstalks]

Maybe If Remus Had a Plan in the First Place This Fic Would Have Had a Name, Too

Remus is Remus, Roman is tired, and there’s a cat, too. Expected chaos ensues.

This is my gift for Pigeon, @the-pigeon, for @sanderssidesgiftxchange! I hope you enjoy your gift, and i hope your holidays were and continue to go well! Also, happy new year!! :D

word count: 2125

rating: teen and up (for slight language/innuendo)

content warnings: slight innuendo/language typical of remus, hair pulling as a stim, descriptions of bad things happening to animals (as an intrusive thought, it is dealt with accordingly), slight anxiety attack/sensory overload moment

relationships: platonic sides (all of em) with brotherly roman&remus focus, implied/background romantic roman/virgil and romantic patton/remus but it’s pretty subtle

characters: roman, remus, virgil, patton, logan, janus, c!thomas (meaning both character!thomas and cat!thomas asfhjakfh)

additional tags: high school au, punk au, heist fic, like slight conflict and then mostly fluff and comfort. also, side note, cain and abel are the twins’ cats sdhjgdskfh

“Remus.”

“Roman.”

A beat.

“Any chance you could explain… any of this?” Roman gestures wildly to the pile of metal scraps, receipts, the feral cat, and assorted other trinkets strewn across the sidewalk in front of Remus, before crossing his arms and impatiently awaiting an answer without his usual air of, well, put-together-ness.

“Well, I’d actually gotten around to finally cleaning my wallet, when—”

“The cat, Remus! Whose cat is this? Why do you have it? Why is it surrounded by trash?” Roman’s voice increased in both volume and shrillness as he went on, hands reaching unconsciously to tug at his hair.

“Hey, don’t do that shit,” Remus tugged at the cuffed jean at Roman’s ankle for emphasis, “Anyways, like I was saying, I was cleaning my wallet when I remembered that I was like, eighty assignments behind in anatomy, so I figured I could do some cool art or somethin’ with a cat! For… extra credit or something.” Remus faltered for a moment, “In all honesty, I didn’t think I’d get this far.” He had thought getting the cat would be the hard part, so now he was stuck in the swing of success without a direction to turn. Roman, however, was still stuck on the small details (in Remus’ humble opinion).

Roman took a deep breath, muttering something that sounded a lot like a prayer for forgiveness, before looking down at his brother yet again.

“Remus.”

“Yes, brother dearest?”

“Whose cat is this?”

“Do you want the honest answer?”

Roman looked moments away from manslaughter, yet managed to nod anyways. Remus’ face broke into a shit-eating grin;

“I have no fucking clue.”

---

“Let me get this straight—”

A chorus of ‘good luck with that’s and similar sentiments echoed Logan’s statement, much to his chagrin.

“Okay. Redo.”

“You can’t just say ‘redo’ IRL, Lo,” Virgil chuckled, not even bothering to look up from his phone—he had already checked out from the drama, but stayed for the simple pleasure of experiencing the familiar banter—and in fear of being called to the dean’s office for cutting class. Mostly the latter.

“And I would argue that you cannot say ‘IRL’ in a verbal conversation, yet here we are,” Logan paused for emphasis, adjusted his necklaces for the umpteenth time, and smoothed his hands over the table again before continuing, “Regardless. The situation that you—and I mean you two,” he gestured to the twins, “there is hardly a ‘we’ fault-wise here—have gotten into, is one of... feline larceny, without a known victim? Is that correct?” Remus nodded sheepishly—or as sheepish as his wolfish features could get, all teeth and eyes—while Roman just stewed in rage. Remus’ backpack laid halfway zipped on the lab table, and every once in a while a pink nose and whiskers would find its way into the light before being shoved back by a flurry of hands, aware of what yet another detention would mean for the twins. They couldn’t all just skip, though—they learned that the hard way from the last time one of Roman and Remus’ harebrained schemes had made its way from “a slight nuisance” to “an unignorable thorn in everyone’s side that also somehow ends with arson.” So, they had some past experience in handling the, well, experience that the twins brought along with their company—but they normally had at least a lead to work with.

“How,” Janus started, massaging his temples despite only just then contributing to the wreck of a conversation that their art class had devolved into, “do you steal a cat, and not know who from?” Remus just shrugged.

“It wasn’t intentional. I needed a cat, a guy had a cat, I didn’t ask questions. Was I supposed to?” Remus asked, eyebrows drawn together—normally, he’d be a sarcastic shit that would drive the group insane on (some level of) purpose, but now he just seemed genuinely afraid—of the consequences of his own actions, but, still—progress. Logan opened his mouth to offer his advice, but was silenced by the jarring ring of the bell. He sighed. This was going to be a long day of way more stress than he was qualified for—the twins were going to owe him another stick and poke if he had any say in the matter.

---

Remus must have been a wonderful, wonderful man in his past life. He had to have been. Because, somehow, by some good grace, he managed to make it through another two classes on his own, and to lunch in one piece, with a living cat by his side—well, in his backpack, but the merit stands. Logan could honestly say he was impressed—not that he would tell him that, though. Nevertheless, the six friends reconvened at lunch—still without a direction to turn.

“I could just put him back where I found him,” Remus started, attempting to break the icy silence at the table with a jackhammer as always.

“Do you even know where that is?” Roman scoffed, incredulous.

“Well, no, but I could get close.”

“This isn’t helping,” Logan interjected, “How about you bring it to a shelter? One nearby where you found it?” The table nodded in general agreement, but Remus only frowned.

“But that isn’t where I got it from. What if it has an owner? What if the closest shelter isn’t a no-kill shelter, and we go to all the trouble of saving the cat only for the fucks at the shelter to hurt it?” Remus’ pace picked up with his heart rate—despite only having this cat for maybe six hours, if anything happened to it, Remus had a pretty good idea of what he’d end up doing.

“We can check for that, can’t we, Lo?” Patton chimed in, placing a calming, steady hand on Remus’ shoulder, which sunk, relieved, at the touch.

“Possibly. But, regardless, it isn’t Remus’ cat. Our priority is to get it back to its original owner, if it has one,” Logan pointed out, “If that isn’t possible, then we need to reevaluate our plan, come up with another, and settle for a different goal.”

“Have we at any point today even actually had a plan?” Virgil snickered, ever the pessimist—it wasn’t like he was really helping as he was, once again, staring at his phone.

“Well, it’s not like you’ve done much besides stare at your phone today, edgelord,” Remus snarked, though it came out as more of a mumble—his face was pressed into the table, and his eyes were on the cat in the bag.

“You’re gonna have to get better nicknames, Dukey, we’re all edgelords here,” Janus deadpanned, smudging an unhealthy amount of eyeshadow around his eyes while Virgil and Remus argued over their respective contributions.

“Okay, can you, my brother,” Roman pointed to Remus, whose teeth clacked with how fast he shut up, ”and you, my boyfriend,” he pointed to Virgil, who could only look the smallest bit abashed,  “calm all the way down? Stop arguing, holy shit—” Roman took another breath, relishing the silence that had fallen over the table before pushing on, “—how about we all go, together, and fix this shit? I mean, what could go wrong?”

---

The answer was a lot. A fucking lot could go wrong when six seventeen-year-olds tried to coordinate anything, let alone an amateur heist.

Remus managed to get through the rest of the school day without much incident, but the rest of them were not so lucky, managing to receive a grand total of three detentions and six failed tests from lunch to the end of seventh period between the five of them. The teens recounted the horror stories of sixth period; Patton gesturing wildly from the driver's seat, Remus sat quietly (for maybe the second time in his life) in the passenger seat, and the remaining accomplices squished together in the back seat (which would fit three people at most for any group that wasn’t them). Also in the back seat was the cat, who had been dubbed “Thomas” for the time being—he was sat in Janus’ lap, curled up around an abandoned ball of yarn that had been left under one of the seats. The car ride across town would have been incredibly tense and unbearably long without the feline, and for that, Remus was grateful—even if he still had a sinking feeling of guilt swirling in his stomach.

---

           After a surprisingly uneventful car ride (except for the stop at a drive through for a morale boost (Patton’s words) of coffees and drinks which ended, after a rather nasty pothole, with a massive stain on the roof of the car), the party settled into the waiting room at the—no-kill, Remus triple checked—animal shelter. There weren’t enough chairs, so the group made more of a pile around Thomas, some of them standing, and the others sitting both on chairs and the floor. Juxtaposed with the sterile white of the walls, they stood out like the emo cousins that they basically were. Remus bounced his leg, up, down, up, down, over and over. He kept knocking his knee against Janus’, which jostled Thomas every time he did.

“Sorry,” Remus mumbled, trying to focus on holding still.  But it itched in the back of his brain, guilt and stress and fault and all the wonderful, terrible feelings churning, over and over. The clock behind the desk was too loud, and Remus couldn’t do anything about it because they wouldn’t even have to be here if not for him. So he kept his mouth shut and tried not to cry—for all of two minutes, because that was when Janus decided that he had had enough, and shoved a ball of fur into his arms. For a moment, Remus was terrified he was going to fuck it up, hurting Thomas or himself or causing some other inevitable disaster, but Thomas just pushed his warm face into Remus’ palm, and suddenly, somehow the only thing Remus could feel was loved. He choked out a wet laugh, unable to contain the bubbling build-up of emotions that had been brewing since he first saw Thomas that morning. His friends all looked at him, concerned at first, but all they could do was coo at Remus being the softest they had ever seen him. He sniffed, and gave them all a watery smile.

“Thanks, guys.”

“Sincerity? In my brother? It’s more likely than you think!” Roman teased, poking his brother in the arm. Remus stuck his tongue out at him, and the teens devolved into familiarity, playful taunts and sincere joy, waiting to be called back for Thomas’ check up.

---

While the veterinarian had been momentarily taken aback at the request for all six visitors to be in the room during the appointment, she also hadn’t seen a reason to say no at the time. Thus, once again, like the clowns they were, they piled into the room and crowded around the table, Thomas at the heart of it all—confoundingly calm given the situation, at least to the onlookers.

The veterinarian introduced herself to each of them, and began examining the cat for any injuries, microchips, or anything out of place.

“He seems to be healthy, no broken bones or infections…” The doctor said, reaching for a handheld device, “If he’s microchipped, and I’m able to reach the owner, you boys will be off the hook, okay?” Remus cringed, but nodded—he needed to remember that Thomas wasn’t his before he got hurt. She ran the scanner over Thomas’ back, and hummed.

“I’m… actually not finding anything. You said he was lost?”

“I don’t know for sure,” Remus confessed, “I found him on the street, so he could be a stray.”

“It seems he was a very lucky one, for sure. Most cats his age are incredibly susceptible to outside bacteria—finding you guys likely saved his life.” Remus’ eyes widened, and his hand reached for Thomas almost instinctively.

“You said that he doesn’t have an owner?”

“Not that I can determine, no. Did he have a collar, any sort of identification?”

Remus shook his head.

“Well, there are two options in the meantime; we can hold on to him, and put him up for adoption through our services, or you could adopt him. He needs to be immunized and neutered, first, but where he ends up is up to you guys.” Remus thought to himself for a moment.

“Hey, Roman. How mad do you think Mom would be if we brought Cain and Abel home a new friend?”

---

The answer? Not mad enough to outweigh her happiness at Remus’ smile with Thomas in his arms. And even though he didn’t end up getting the extra credit in anatomy, Remus’ circle of best friends grew by one, so he thinks he did alright in the end.

[aizawaskittenwhore]

internal affairs

pairing: shota aizawa x poc!reader

words: 5.6k (LMFAOOOO I GOT CARRIED AWAY ENJOY) lowercase vv intentional

warnings/kinks: alcohol, swearing, degradation, praise, spit if you squint, breeding kink???ish sorta kinda yeah, begging, use of the pet name kitten, bondage, caught while masturbating

synopsis: aizawa thinks sex is generally a waste of time and energy. after finding you, (his close friend and coworker) in a...compromising position one night when he’s returning something to your dorm, he learns some information that has him wanting to waste some time with you..and energy. ;)

a/n: it’s been forever since i’ve written smut let alone with a poc reader so go easy on me LMFAOOOO

nsfw below the cut, let’s get it!

shota aizawa could, honestly, live without sex.

he just didn’t see the necessity of it, all the exhaustion and sweat just for a sudden rush of dopamine that lasts all of a minute before the stickiness sets in. before exhaustion settles over every muscle and renders you immobile, confined to the infamous postcoital wet spot while you make plans to wash your sheets—

as soon as you can regain control of the burn in your lungs, that is.

in between teaching during the day, patrolling in the evenings while still managing to grade papers, establishing lesson plans, taking care of his cat yuki and occasionally having to watch over his more “at-risk” students (cough midoriya cough) sex just didn’t take enough priority in his life for him to be interested in it. his right hand did the job just fine most nights, and he didn’t see the need to involve another person when it came to something he was more than proficient at handling by himself. he had no shame in the way he chose to live his life, it was practical and didn’t interfere with any of his responsibilities; a perfect setup.

at least, until he told you this same information over drinks one friday.

“please say you’re joking.” you chuckle, brows aloft in amusement. your fingertips dance along the rim of your shot glass before you raise it to your lips, the bitter and potent sake you ordered beginning to blossom warmly across your cheeks. “i’m serious. the hell would i gain from having some complete stranger try to learn how to please me when i can just do it myself?” aizawa queries, index finger and thumb taking residence along the upper neck of his beer bottle, grimacing harshly as he takes another swig. “i always get this shit every time we come here, and every time it’s always terrible.” he sets the bottle to his left, reaching for a shot glass instead to wash down the acrid taste. the bar is moderately populated today, with other pros scattered among tables and booths while engrossed in their own conversations; the background noise serving as the perfect buffer for the x-rated nature of your conversation.

you normally hate drinking after work, it always made you sluggish for the rest of the night, but aizawa owed you a favor after you took on the grading process of 1-a’s exams while he went out on patrol a few nights ago. he hadn’t wanted to ask so much of you as you were already training class 1-b and doing presentations for general studies that week, but after seeing the state of exhaustion the man was in you’d insisted, suggesting he get the bill next time the two of you hung out to make up for it. “but don’t you get tired of it? you know....masturbating?” you pry, right hand coming up to make a crude jerking motion to emphasize your point. “ i mean...you already know what you like, and the quickest way to get yourself there. there’s no exploration, no variety, you don’t get to really try anything new.” a teasing smile already settled across your lips.

aizawa falters for a moment, mouth pulled into a tight stance that signals his contemplation. head low, shoulders hunched, appearing to deeply ponder your question and how to answer it. you worry, for a moment, that you may have overstepped in your attempt to get a rise out of your quiet friend. however, worry soon liquifies into a fierce heat as a low chuckle rattles through him; shota glancing up at you through rebellious strands of hair that, regardless of his quirk, never seem to stay in place. “and what, y/n , would you happen to know about sexual exploration?” he shoots back, two slender fingers and a calloused thumb sending another shot down his throat with ease.

you flush, all your nerves on high alert as his rich, onyx irises seem to detect the growing arousal settling between your thighs, pleased at the reaction his question emitted. “i-i’m just saying that it’s got to get boring sometimes...just doing the same old routine whenever you’re in the mood!” you stutter, clearing your throat after you choke on the last syllable of your sentence. “that wasn’t my question.” he remarks, eyes slicing through any attempt at keeping your composure, yet you don’t budge.

“well, if you just have to know aizawa -“ you drag out the final consonant to mock his inquisitive nature, before continuing your tangent, “-sex doesn’t always have to be about the orgasm. i mean sure, it’s a pretty fucking fun part of it, don’t get me wrong, but it’s the foreplay, the newness of being with someone you haven’t been with before that really just...ties it all together. figuring out what they like, having them explore what you like, letting them take you in new and different ways...” you trail off, a blush now having settled across your cheeks, albeit impossible to clock thanks to the deep brown reach of your skin complexion.

“it’s worth the effort, is what i’m sayin’. you never know, you might like things that you didn’t think you would...like getting tied up or spit on or something..” you finish, now feeling his gaze settle over you like a blanket fresh out of the dryer. you quickly busy yourself with thanking your bartender as she slides you the tab, trying checking out the damage so you wouldn’t have to make eye contact with aizawa after that very honest admission. he quickly swipes the little book from your reach, depositing the black card inside with minimal resistance and returning the tab to its original position with a “don’t. i owe you, remember?”

damned cat-like reflexes.

fuck pro-hero training.

fuck the growing amount of slick saturating (and ruining) the simple maroon panties you’d chosen when getting ready for work today.

and most of all, fuck shota aizawa for being able to make your blood run hot by paying a fucking tab and giving you a look or two.

“right. thanks, by the way. but if i can’t get up for that meeting nezu’s holding tomorrow, i’m blaming you.” you’re hoping a bit of humor will distract you from the way your body is overheating from being within such close proximity to him, and the way your core is pulsing around nothing as if it were fiending for his presence. “not my fault you’re a lightweight, so blame me all you want sweetheart.” shota dryly rebounds, a mirthful smile on his face in response to the way you roll your eyes and suck your teeth, flipping him off.

“if you wanted to fuck me, you could’ve just asked.”

you’d pale, if you could.

your jaw collapses, eyelashes batting double time while you struggle to process what the fuck just came out of his mouth. six seconds go by before you begin babbling, voicing your opposition to his prior statement with phrases such as “wait wait wait, what did you sayyyy?” and ”bye because that didn’t even come out my mouth i-“

while he just...laughs. he finds your attempts to clarify your alleged non-existent sexual attraction to him hilarious, and even mentions that he finds it adorable as the two of you begin to make your way back to the teachers’ dorms. he holds the door open for you as you head inside, chuckling to himself as you continue to playfully curse him out while you walk to the women’s side of the building.

that was seven hours ago.

it’s currently 12:47am, and you’re struggling to catch even a wink of shuteye. you’re starting to regret having that sake earlier, since alcohol always fucks with your sleep schedule, but that isn’t what’s keeping you up tonight.

no, no, that would happen to be the unprofessional and honestly straight up shameful thoughts you’re having about your friend and coworker, shota. vivid images of those slender fingers sliding into you one by one, each one filling you more than the last, float past your lids every time you close your eyes. daydreams of his tongue on your clit, tracing patterns into the sensitive nerves while he calls you his good girl, his kitten, his slut, hands forcing your thighs apart as they shake from each and every time you cum around those devilish lips of his. fantasies of his capture weapon binding your hands behind you, fingers dangling helplessly while his hand rests on the small of your back to serve as leverage for each and every time he slides in. face pressed into the mattress as he fucks into you slowly, not wanting to give you the satisfaction of having him so deep so quickly. voice hoarse, tone pleading when you beg him to take you deeper, harder, promising to take it like a good girl would if he would just keep hitting that spot that makes your toes curl, yes right there, fuck-

you flip your pillow over in an attempt to cool the sweltering heat below the waistband of your panties, but it’s no luck. you should've been asleep two hours ago. staring hopelessly at the ceiling, lost in your mind as you watch the streetlights’ beams flicker through your window, streams of light disturbed by nearby tree branches. right hand slowly sliding down your body, from your breasts to the curves of your waist before settling right on the top of your panties. your fingers begin to flutter above your dripping core.

‘this is wrong. i shouldn’t do this.’ you chide yourself, but your body has already made up it’s mind.

and soon a cord wound so tightly within your body it could suffocate you...snaps.

the tip of your middle finger dips down to your pussy to collect the slick gathered there, and you groan at the sheer amount of it.

he really got you fucked up.

thinking of how he would tease, you circle your throbbing clit, touch feather light to the point where it feels like borderline torture. middle finger and ring finger conjoined to shallowly dip inside you once, twice, then three times before filling you completely.

but it’s not enough.

it’s not him.

you sigh at the way the tips brush against your g-spot, beckoning them forward until you physically arch into your hand as though it were connected to the subject of your little self love session.

“fuck...”

shota’s pov

he’d taken a short break from his current grading session to stretch, and grab a small snack when he noticed it.

you’d left your id tag with him when you’d turned in for the evening, as the two of you had used his id to get on to school grounds since your hands were full with your work bag, your purse, and takeout from the bar. he must have forgotten to give it back to you after you asked him to hold it, he was too busy admiring how cute you looked while trying to prove you didn’t want to fuck him.

not that he would mind if you did, of course.

he’d developed something of a crush on you over the past few weeks since you’d been working more closely together as hero course teachers, and he got to know you outside of a strictly work environment.

you’re funny, intelligent, clever (which is a turn on for him since he needs someone he can bounce off of), and it doesn’t hurt that you’re easy on the eyes.

really, really easy on the eyes. fuck.

he scratched the back of his neck as he felt the familiar flush begin to creep up his face, hoping the pain would will away the consistent hard-on he got whenever he focused too much on your smile, or the way your shoulders shake when you laugh, or the curve of your hips and how they look like they would be a perfect fit for his vice grip as he eased you onto his dick, looking you right in the eyes before drilling up into you. eyes shimmering with such pretty tears from how sensitive she was, neck littered with marks from his earlier ministrations, voice shaky as she begged him to fill her, pump her full of every last drop cause she’s been so so good-

‘damn it shota. just go give her the fucking tag, she’ll need it tomorrow morning.’ he snapped internally, looking at his tented black sweats with dismay. it took everything within him not to make a sly comment on how getting himself off is never boring when it’s to a different fantasy of you each time, but if there’s nothing else he prided himself upon, it was his self discipline.

forcing himself to remember the time he caught hizashi shaving his left testacle and only the left one to make his erection less obvious, he grabbed her id and his own, and made his way to the women’s wing of the hero course dorms. it was old school, men weren’t allowed on the women’s side and vice versa on campus, however with this being the hero course some were granted special admin privileges should there ever be an emergency.

he happened to be one of them.

making quick work of finding your room, he leaned against the threshold, left arm poised to knock when he heard a soft hiss. a little rustling, and another sound, indiscernible thanks to your door.

“fuck...”

body stiffening at the swear, he paused, wondering if maybe you had been hurt or perhaps injured. it was in his nature to, despite his sarcastic and faux-apathetic disposition, be a hero no matter what. using what little force he could in an attempt to not frighten a possible intruder or make a bad situation worse, shota silently swung your door open and scanned the room for any possible threats.

he didn’t find any.

instead he found you, lacy black panties around your left ankle as you curled your middle and ring finger inside of you, moans bubbling out of your throat with a hand twisting and pinching your pretty brown nipples as you went. still completely unaware of his presence you sigh before letting out the prettiest and neediest little whine that went straight to his dick.

“mm...shota..please baby~“ you keen, fingers quickening their pace inside of your pussy, the streetlights from the nearby sidewalk casting a copper toned glean on the strings of slick connecting your fingers to the soaked paradise that was between your thighs. he freezes, thinking you’ve noticed his presence when it hits him-

you were fucking your fingers as if they were his own.

you’d said his name.

you wanted to fuck him just as badly as he wanted to fuck you.

and despite being a pro and having been in life threatening situations, instances where he’s had to make split second decisions without worrying whether they were right or not....here he has absolutely no idea what to do. he feels dirty, watching you in such a...compromising situation. even though you just said his name with about two-

now three-

-soaked fingers sliding in and out of your cunt, he knows he shouldn’t be here. out of respect for you, he takes about two steps backwards and tries to leave the room as silently as he came in, willing the universe to just let him have this as a pleasant memory for when he gets into bed tonight. but, like most times in his 31 years of existence, he can never get a moment of peace.

so he manages to trip over your shoes from earlier right as he was about to hit the hallway.

oh, and drops the id tags, of course.

y/n’s pov

the noise sends a chill through each and every nerve of your body, eyes firing open only to be greeted with the sight of a very flustered aizawa vehemently cursing out a pair of your boots, two id tags pooled at his feet. “what the fuck?!” digits wrenched from your body and hands clawing for your duvet in a last ditch attempt to preserve what little modesty you had left. “i- i just came to give you your id, and i heard you swear so i thought you might’ve been hurt or something, i didn’t see anything!” aizawa spat apprehensively, while simultaneously cursing his dick for choosing this particular moment to get incredibly aroused, and thanking himself for tucking his erection into his waistband earlier before he’d walked over in case he ended up talking to you. “oh my god. oh..my god i am so fucking sorry i-i know it was wrong and i totally understand if you don’t wanna be friends anymore just please don’t tell nezu i really really love this job-“ you begin to wail, teardrops nestling into your waterline before finally pooling over and breaking you, causing you to cry even more.

“i’m not mad at you y/n.” aizawa coos softly.

“-and i know i crossed so many lines and it’s selfish for me to ask that of you but i don’t know what i would do without UA-“

“y/n.” he calls, sitting beside you on the pillow soft mattress, his capture weapon pooling to the floor and briefly reminding him he’d brought it with him to begin with.

“-and if i’m being honest i’ve had a crush on you for forever and i was just too much of a coward to come and tell you myself so instead of being a woman about it i kept having these fantasies and i’m so fucking sorry aizawa-“

“shota. call me shota.” he tilts your chin up with his right hand so he can see your pretty brown orbs swimming in tears, before taking his left hand and thumbing away the still-wet tear tracks. you blink away your tears, brows furrowing in confusion at why he’s not angry, why you’re not packing up your dorm and turning in your letter of resignation right now. “it sounded so pretty when you’d said it earlier, why stop now?” he murmurs, those powerful ebony eyes taking you in by the gallon, half lidded as he looks you up and down.

so he did see everything.

and he wasn’t mad.

and you swear on everything you love that you just saw his length twitch through those black sweats, so he definitely shared the same sentiment.

“s-so you’re sure you’re not mad?” you sniffle, hands reaching to cover his as you lean into his lithe form, needing to feel his warm and comforting embrace. “positive.” he looks down at the way you’re nuzzled into his chest, arms shifting so that they’re wrapped around your back as you let out a sigh of relief. he softly taps you after a few minutes, needing to shift to a more comfortable position as his dick is pressing into his stomach this way, and it’s only making him firmer.

“can...can i kiss you?” he asks gingerly, heart fluttering at the way your eyes meet his and your head slowly nods, fingers fumbling to find his hand so you can hold it. his lips slot against yours, moving tenderly at first before the kiss begins to increase in intensity, your tongue moving fluidly with his, pulling away only to breathe before diving back into one another.

“those pretty lips taste so sweet...makes me wonder if you’re sweet all over, hm?”

you preen at the compliment, body craving his touch, his energy, his undulations, everything about him.

“tell me you don’t want this, and we’ll stop.” he mutters against your neck, soft kisses quickly turning to him sucking marks into your collarbone. it drove him insane, watching the reddish purple hues blossom across your skin mingling with the mocha of the rest of your body.

you didn’t have any intention on stopping though.

not for a fucking second.

“please...need you so bad.” you sigh close to his ear, taking his earlobe between your teeth and dipping a hand between the two of you to paw at his throbbing length. that seemed to do the trick just fine, his pulse spiking before he flipped the two of you with a quickness you’d only seen him use in battle. hands reaching for the nape of his neck as he tugged his shirt over his head, you watched in awe; you’d known sho was fit as he patrolled nightly, along with the consistent training he’d engaged in with his students. you just didn’t expect a simple long sleeve sweater to give way to toned abdominals, slender yet powerful arms in addition to a thick black happy trail that dipped below his waistband.

it wasn’t until he’d tugged down the lace covering your slit, (so hard it ripped), that you realized just how much he craved you. gazing at your core intently he spread you apart with his middle and forefinger, eyes nearly rolling out of his head with how you were dripping so much for him. you tried to shift your hips in an effort to get him to do something, anything, but that was shut down with a hand forcing your right thigh outwards and spreading you even wider.

“no no. keep them spread. let me watch you try to keep them open while you’re shaking...let me watch you fall apart..” he demands, head diving between your thighs to lap at your aching clit like a man starved. your legs rise only to settle on his shoulders, ankles crossed behind his head while your toes curl in euphoria. there were men before him, but none of them ever took care of you like this, never looked you in the eyes as their fingers started to curl in just the right places, never sighed in content at your taste as their eyes rolled back. never pried themselves away from your cunt just to add a pornographic amount of spit to your southernmost lips, strings of saliva connecting your twitching hole to his deliciously long tongue.

shota was unlike any man you had ever met before.

and that was what made him so intoxicating.

“ah..s-shota, please-” you whine, sensing your climax within reach. “please what, kitty? i won’t know if you don’t tell me.” he remarks, dipping back down to suck harshly at your swollen bud as he adds a third finger, length throbbing at the way you arch into his tongue. “m-make me-ah-make me...feel good...please sho” you stutter, face burning. “mm. i thought i was already making you feel good love? unless...there’s something else you want..” he trails off, smirking. your thighs are quivering now, muscles burning as you strain to keep them from crushing shota’s head, although with the way he’s devouring your pussy whole right now he doesn’t seem to mind one bit.

“i need you..to make me cum..” you whimper, winding a few fingers into his unruly mane of hair while your other hand settles above your mouth, trying to hide the obvious embarrassment on your face from being so exposed.

“well why didn’t you say so baby? after all, you did exactly what i told you to, and good girls get whatever they ask for.” he grins before working double time to bring you to the edge, hero stamina and strength coming out in full force with the way his fingers never cease in their abuse on your g-spot, refusing to quit until your thighs finally tighten around his head and your breath catches. his tongue replaces his fingers and you briefly pout at the slight change in fullness, but it doesn’t matter the second he coils his tongue upwards and rubs into your sensitive bud at a steady pace. you cum all over his face, and you never thought you’d see such a typically serious and stoic man look so...elated, a permanent beam stuck to him with superglue as he swallows as much of your essence as he can. chest heaving, body weightless, you sit up.

you gently coax him back up your body, shota’s arms caging you to your bed as you kiss him deeply, fingers fumbling to palm him through his sweats. “s’ my turn...wanna show you how much i like you..”

he nods, opting to trade places with you whilst helping you slide his sweats and boxers down his thighs, length springing up in anticipation. you’d had a inkling of how big he was from small glances on occasion, but you didn’t account for a solid eight and a half inches down your esophagus. his dick was pretty, a few veins running up and down the length of it, and tip just as pink as his kiss-swollen lips. the only thing that intimidated you was how thick it was. but you’d cross that bridge when it came to it.

saliva floods your mouth and you grasp his dick at the base, eyes wide as you track a bead of precum rolling it’s way down his tip before licking it up in one long hot stripe. “hm. tastes good.” you giggle, eyes locking with his before you relax your jaw and swallow as much of him as you can comfortably fit in your mouth, a shot of electricity running through you when shota lets out a deep throaty groan. “fuck...such a good fucking girl. you look so pretty like this.” shota sighs, left hand working it’s way through your coils and tightening its grip, but never pushing. he lets you work at your own pace, his own cheeks flushing when you interrupt the bobbing motion you had set to coyly circle your slick tongue around his tip. your mouth is hot and slick, encapsulating his dick in a velvety vacuum seal while you work him over and over; you haven’t had an insane amount of experience, but you’re observant of what motions garner positive reactions. it’s a combination so dangerous that it has shota’s right hand grappling your comforter for stability, breath quickening as he wonders how the hell he’s managed to last this long.

“you’re gonna suck me dry kitty...” he moans.

at least until you take not one, but both hands, add an amount of spit so copious it’s obscene, and begin to stroke his length slowly and effortlessly whilst maintaining eye contact.

with that little stunt, you’ve officially opened pandora’s box. and there’s no closing it now.

“come here.” aizawa commands, sitting up straighter to pull your hips into his, and before you know it you’re on your stomach, wrists pinned to your black sheets by agile hands. “if you wanna stop here tell me now baby.” he croons in your ear, feather light kisses pressed into your shoulder. “we can watch a movie, cuddle, whatever you’re comfortable with. but if we keep going like this-”

his length presses into your ass and a shiver shoots down your spine.

“-i can’t promise you i won’t ruin you y/n. fuck you full of my cum, pounding into you until i leave you drooling and sloppy just for me, have you scream my name so loud even the League knows who you belong to. you’d be all mine. my pretty kitty. is that what you want?” shota asks, one of his calloused hands sliding down the curves of your body to grip at the soft, tender skin of your ass.

“shota.....please. it’s all i want, just take me already-“ you sob, voice gathering in your throat. a sensual chuckle, and then you feel it: inch after inch slipping into your tight warm walls, the stretch causing your eyes to brim with tears born from more pleasure than actual pain.

“ah! you’re stretching me out so much...” you keen, eyelashes fluttering in ecstasy. “aw kitty...i haven’t even started yet.” shota teases, stretching to his right to grab his capture weapon, and bringing both your wrists behind you. “now..you’ve been so good for me tonight, i think you deserve a reward. earlier, i believe you mentioned something about being tied up?” he binds your arms, leaving your digits to flail helplessly right above the small of your back, where his hand has now come to rest.

“f-fuck me! please...i’m tired of waiting- i just wanna be yours!” you beg, hips jolting back in impatience and need, your pussy throbbing at the sensation of his tip nudging the deepest parts of you. “so fucking needy. i’ll give you exactly what you’re craving sweetheart.” he smirks, before dragging his hips as far back as he can, length retreating from your warm walls before slamming right back in. one hand on your shoulders to keep your face pressed into your pillows, the other taking reign on your hips as a guide to rut against you. your back arches so deliciously for him, ass jiggling on every thrust as he watches your body impale itself on his length. he’s so deep, his tip consistently ramming into your cervix over and over and over; your body is so overwhelmed and so needy, so full but not full enough. it’s too much, but you want more. “fill me up sho! i want it— i need it so bad” you cry, tears spilling over and staining your pillowcase. “wouldn’t you love that, having me fill this pretty pussy up with all my cum hm?” “no wonder you’re moaning for me like a whore, you want everyone to know who’s doing this to you.” shota pants, quickening his pace. “yes! i’m yours all yours!” you moan, pussy throbbing at his fierce pace, you can feel the sweat gathering between your body and the sheets but you don’t care. you use the leverage from your shoulders to push back onto him, chasing your high.

“that’s it, come on, fuck me back. come on kitty it’s your dick after all~” he breathes, grinning at the way you’re drooling and how your eyes are rolling at the way he’s fucking you.

“fuck, you must really wanna cum again hm? such a greedy, slutty girl” you nod, head spinning as he tightens your restraints and strokes into you as deep as he can. you feel the familiar quivering of your legs, a tell tale sign you’re close to cumming. “sho—ah!-sho please! i wanna cum please i’m so close-“ you plead, voice unsteady. “well since you asked so nicely...of course kitty” he acquiesces, a hand slithering between your folds to softly rub your clit while he drills into you, and your body nearly self destructs. “f-fuck! ah—thank you shota, oh god, mmm you’re so good to me” you babble, body floating through space as he rubs you through your orgasm.

and once again, the ball is in his court. you shudder, head leaning over your shoulder with lidded eyes to try and look at aizawa. his hair is down now, and a deep blush has taken residence across his cheeks, chest heaving as sweat glistens on his chest and slowly drips down his toned stomach. he hasn’t stopped fucking you, but this time his rhythm’s gotten sloppy, and his teeth have sunken into his bottom lip so hard you think he’ll pierce through it.

he’s close, and you want every last drop.

“make me take it shota—show me what you do to good girls~” you purr, eyes widening when he loosens your restraints and turns you over, and practically folds you in half. your ankles are by your ears now as he pounds into you, and everything is so much deeper than before. your pussy tightens at the new angle, and you feel another orgasm beneath the surface, though you don’t know if you can take it. “it’s too much! i can’t take it—“ you whine, tits jiggling as he swoops down and paws at one, making you cry out. “yes you can baby, just one more, come on make me proud just give me one fucking more” he growls, the heat of his order hot against your ear. “god i’m gonna paint these slutty little walls white—gonna fill you up so good” he moans, shota’s dirty confession egging you on as your fingers toy with your achingly sensitive bundle of nerves. “that’s it. play with it, show me how you do it when i’m not there-“ and that slick fucking comment is what sends you tumbling off the edge for your third time tonight. “fuck! i’m gonna cum—i’m gonna make you all mine, all for me” you grin before raking your nails up and down his back to encourage him. “give it to me, i don’t wanna have anyone else kiss me without knowing what you taste like~” and soon hot spurts of cum paint your insides and flood you with a warm, thick feeling. shota immediately crashes his lips onto yours, holding you tightly. you can’t really explain the current state of your emotions, but you feel full, and content. meanwhile the current object of your affection is nuzzled into your neck, peppering kisses over all the love bites he’d inflicted earlier as a means of apology, though you didn’t mind.

it would be a pain in the ass to cover up tomorrow, but you could always just wear a scarf or a turtleneck to compensate due to the colder weather. it wasn’t until the two of you had cleaned up and rehydrated that he spoke: “by the way, i like you too. and have. for a while now. just in case that wasn’t clear.” he stated, arms wrapped around your middle as he began to doze off.

“you know you probably should’ve led with that-“

“shut up.”

so yeah, shota aizawa could live without sex.

question is: why the hell would he want to, when you’re here?