#because those i can barely read ...

[beargregor]

wait i'm curious, what makes you say that gregor doesn't like everyone else (if i read that post right)? just curious since i've never seen anyone else say that

i don't necessarily think gregor dislikes everyone else at lcb but i do think that gregor is an incredibly petty person that isn't nearly as close to the rest of the sinners and even outright dislikes some of them cough cough rodya cough cough which a lot of people just Refuse to see because he's as much of a doormat as he is. there's several examples i could get into to try and prove my point however i'll just focus on what i personally think to be the biggest ones.

additionally, this is going to be kind of long, so i'm adding a read more. read more! read it. sorry for being so wordy. i have several diseases.

Pt1. gregor is the type to try and get along at least decently with everyone, especially if he gets a good first impression from them.

this is less a point in favor of gregor's distance w/ the rest of the sinners and more just a contributing factor to it. once again there's several examples i could point to here but i think the most in your face one happened in canto I with yuri, as several people have pointed out. even before gregor comes clean about growing attached to her as quickly as he did because she reminds him of his sister, we get this interaction.

i'll go ahead and make the disclaimer now that i don't necessarily think gregor is the most reliable of narrators, especially when it comes to his feelings and interactions with most people, but from the way he acts when the topic of yuri comes up (and the way we still see him act even all the way up to c7, nearly a whole year after yuri's death) i don't see reason to question his sentiment here. gregor immediately got that aya and yuri were close, potentially even taking note of their traded belts, and went out of his way to get something nice for yuri despite hardly knowing her.

i feel like a lot of people have forgotten as much, especially since it's been so long since c1, but gregor actually spent a good bit of season 1 doing the exact same thing with the other sinners! gregor reads a connection between him and ishmael pretty quickly despite getting off to a rocky start

mostly because gregor can tell that ishmael is pretty sardonic in a very similar way to him. there's been multiple instances where ishmael and gregor have essentially expressed the same sentiment at different moments, most notably gregor's little argument after ishmael got shot with a decay ampule in c4

and ishmael's response to pilot talking about self-sacrifice in c5

i could go ahead and pull up more examples, but in general pm has gone out of their way to show us that gregor and ishmael are pretty similar, so it makes sense for gregor to assume that they're friends, right?

this will be pushpin 1. keep note of this for Later.

ishmael's only the first sinner we see gregor trying to do this with in s1, we also see him try it out with heathcliff, sinclair, and ryoushuu

he's tried to get along with charon, being one of very few sinners that we've seen actually try to establish a connection with her at all

even rodya, despite my insistence that gregor doesn't like her nearly as much as the fandom thinks he does

all of these seem pretty fine and dandy, right? sure it frequently leans towards self-degradation, micromanaging, and commiseration, but gregor can at least be pretty chummy with most of the sinners, can't he?

Pt2. hell's chicken was more than just comic relief guys please

i'm fully aware that this is quite the hot take, but i think hell's chicken deserves a lot more credit for character writing than the fandom gives it. hell's chicken gave us foreshadowing for several events, such as the donqui bloodfiend reveal

heathcliff's distortion in c6 (as well as hong lu's highly speculated distortion at some point in the future)

and ryoushuu and sinclair's continued connection by making him the odd one out on her team

which, hey! that implies something about gregor's odd one out, don quixote, too, doesn't it? yes. yes it does. that's pushpin 2. keep note of that for later.

speaking of pushpins, hey! that's pushpin 1!

splitting into teams is one of the major events in hell's chicken, and most of the sinner's choices are either motivated by very little, backhanded, or motivated primarily by not wanting to be on the opposite leader's side. i didn't include all of the picks, just because i feel like including most of them already gets this across, but i think gregor took one major thing from this: most of the sinners, when push comes to shove, will only side with gregor when they refuse to or can't take his opponent's side.

now, don't get me wrong, i'm fully aware that this is primarily intended to be comedic relief, but when gregor is being described as having his trust broken by ishmael or nearly crying because no one on his team properly sided with him for him, i feel like it's pretty fair to read into this.

something that i think is pretty important to remember in conjunction with this is that we know that gregor is the type to hold a grudge, both from his general attitude towards the G corp soldiers in c1 as well as his continued distaste for vergilius

even beyond the splitting into teams of hell's chicken, the sinners have given gregor plenty of reasons to feel bitter. i feel like this is something people have noticed but haven't really put a finger on, but it's kind of wild just how often the rest of the sinners make gregor the butt of the joke

and sure, we could argue that a fair few of these aren't really made with any ill intent. quite a bit of it could have been meant as harmless teasing, but with gregor being more sensitive than most, it coming from nearly all sides, and as often as it does? yeah, i think he's prone to taking it a bit personally.

Pt3. yes i do still think gregor was the third most important character in canto VII you guys gotta hear me out okay

of course, all of this leads up to the bit of the story i highlighted, doesn't it? c7? i totally get why people haven't really picked up on all the gregor things i did in it, seeing as they were mostly not *directly* said about him or by him.

personally, i think that gregor's distaste for talking about himself on any serious level and thus leading to him getting sort of "sidelined" narratively (which i take issue with that claim, but still. it's effective for getting what i mean across atm) is supposed to lead players to take a deeper look at the times gregor gets held up to other characters and compare and contrast what's being said about them by the matchup. as i showed earlier with his immediate latching onto ishmael, i think this is something gregor himself is at least partially aware of too.

so, that begs the question, who was gregor compared to in canto VII that makes me think it's one of the most critical pieces in understanding his character?

really, i'd like to avoid getting too lost in the analysis of this canto specifically, since i'd like to do a proper post about this later, but i figure i can bury the lede a little before doing it properly.

c7 features several characters being made to perform in sansón's play, acting out the relevant backstory for this segment of the plot. a lot of these characters have rather direct, degrading reasons for playing the roles they do.

outis, a character with an inflated ego who wants her journey to have a purpose, is made to play an aimlessly wandering villager with a single line.

hong lu and ryoushuu, two characters for whom families and the expectations placed upon them are likely going to play a major role, are made to play bloodfiends.

rodya, a character who resents her lot in life and is constantly shown to be eager to leave her destitution behind her and become someone special, is made to play a helpless villager that's too poor to even offer any money to the hero that saves her.

heathcliff, a character that has spent most of his life getting dehumanized by comparing him to beastly animals, is made to play a literal bear whose sole purpose in the plot is to get beat up and then quickly left by the wayside.

sinclair, a character that has two opposed parties essentially treating him as a macguffin to procure for their side, is made to play the character who was arguably the catalyst for this entire canto, not to mention playing a decently major role in ruina.

our star don quixote is made to play her father, the first kindred, but there's someone by their side the entire time, isn't there? don quixote's dear, steadfastly loyal companion. a character which don quixote has tasked themself with getting to come out of their shell?

hello again, pushpin 2.

gregor has been made to play our unreachable star, sancho. someone had to, of course. you can't really tell a story without it's main character, now can you?

now, i should once again give a disclaimer. i am not trying to say that i think adapting what happens to donqui/sancho in c7 to gregor is the road pm is going to take here, not only would that toe a bit past the line of foreshadowing, but it'd also just amount to rehashing that plotline again, which i don't think would make for a particularly exciting story.

what i DO think is that we can take a lot of the things that are said to either directly be the case for sancho and use them to inform how we see gregor.

and god, does playing sancho have some fucking implications for our favorite ossan archetype.

starting off, the earliest moment we get to see of sancho is quite literally her just waiting for death to take her in a pile of ashes.

which, i should remind everyone, is actually pretty damn close to what happens to gregor's literary counterpart at the end of the metamorphosis. gregor samsa experiences one final breaking point that pushes him over the edge and makes him decide to just wait for starvation to take him.

gregor and sancho both consider themselves to no longer be human, something which sancho goes out of her way to highlight repeatedly throughout the canto and gregor is quick to get defensive on her behalf for when outis starts really tearing into her

sancho spends quite a lot of this story denying herself the joys of community and friendship, despite knowing that, even with the rest of the sinners frequently making jokes at her expense and outright insulting her, they were things that she desperately craved.

and, while this is getting into my "outis is a red herring meant to distract us from gregor's eventual betrayal" theorizing, i also think it's worth noting for this discussion that sancho's fellow kindreds, her family, all seem to be under the impression that she dislikes them and ultimately her departure was an act of betrayal

and that, despite gregor being one of LCB's resident mood makers and attempted conflict de-escalators, one of the sinners that's most prone to making appeals to the bonds they've all forged together, only him and faust remained silent during everyone's speech

so yeah, i think there's quite a lot of little details and hints building up to the reveal that gregor's not quite as fond of everyone as he presents himself to be. i do think a lot of this ultimately comes down to gregor getting in the way of his own happiness, similarly to donqui, particularly because he's been frequently portrayed as something of a self fulfilling prophecy, especially by giving him as many christ allegories as they have by way of priest and garden of thorns. gregor is convinced that the rest of the sinners don't like him because he's not convinced anyone could like him, so he convinces himself that he hates them because why should he care if someone that he hates hates him too?

a lot of this ultimately ties back to my personal interpretation of what happens in the metamorphosis as well as my own theories regarding all the times gregor has made weird callbacks and references to lobcorp and ruina, but yeah. i think about this guy and his deeper characterization a fairly normal amount, i think.

to end this off i'll highlight one of my favorite little "gregor is fucking seething and trying so hard to keep it cool" moments, in the credits CG for c7 we see rodya teasing him by drawing a little horse on his window and actively pointing and laughing at it, which gregor really doesn't seem all too pleased about.

i personally think this ties into the other cruel part of sansón forcing gregor to play rocinante, which is the more literal "he's actually just straight up playing rocinante" side of things. gregor was quite literally made to play something less than human, less than even animal really, as he was reduced to nothing more than the shoes don quixote wore as she got to play the leading role. sansón directly makes jokes about gregor being nothing more than shoes in the play twice, which adds to this reading, i think.

this, imo, really plays into the adaptation of the metamorphosis! i've seen a lot of readings for the book that posit that, despite being the protagonist, gregor samsa can't really be considered the main character due to nearly everything he experiences in it being used to further his family's character development at his expense, which i think fits nicely with limbus gregor seemingly having the most said about him through indirect means by holding him up to other characters. also it's rodya carelessly making fun of His Big Major Insecurities™ again like she did in c1 which i always find fun. rodya i love you but god you're the worst.

[toniodarling]

I just bought RE2 and why does Leon refuse to look you in the eyes when you turn the camera. Is he scared of eye contact or somethiyn

[juniper-clan]

I somehow ended up having a dream about JuniperClan, that the next moon was Shiningpaw's warrior ceremony, but you were using longer, more old-timey sentences that were using a lot of metaphors and a tad confusing to read. As it went on, multiple panels would show Amberbranch in a panic/shock, and then it was slowly revealed that a snake had snuck into camp during the ceremony. Nobody besides Amberbranch noticed it, and he leapt to protect Shiningpaw from being bit, and ended up dying from the venom. And I vividly remember my last thoughts before waking up being "oh this isn't gonna be good for Heronstar".

So I deeply hope my dream doesn't come true haha

[whatudottu]

I want to hold your hand I don't want to hurt you

More of @fiestylittlebeetle's Malether propaganda they have been parasitising off my brain especially now that I've drawn then once have more hand language *grins*

[princeof-flowers]

UGHHHHHHHH

Currently writing a fic that's basically just- "Emmrich has reached a level of besotted fool that even he can't handle because Rook gives him a hug and kiss every morning and night, and often gives him flowers and just thinking about that gets him hard and makes him pre because he's imagining married life already Send Help".

Like??? There's not even any dialog really it's just Emmrich being like- "he gives me kisses and hugs every day and gifts me flowers and alchemical ingredients 🥺🥺🥺" and fantasizing about being married to him and waking up next to him every morning like DAMN. Emmrich you got it bad. You're down horrendous.

[acid-waste]

I'm so mad actually I can't believe some people took this scene in chapter 3 and turned it into a who's right about their grief when the scene in chapter 4 literally has ivypool saying I don't mean to make it all about me- haven't thought much about how dovewing is handling her own grief- people read chapter 3 and to me it seems as if chapter 4 doesn't even exist and the rest of what ivypool says in chapter three after saying this doesn't as well

“Dovewing, I’m truly sorry that Rowankit died. But losing a sickly kit—a kit you’ll be reunited with in StarClan one day—is different from losing a full-grown cat who was just coming into her own as a warrior. A cat who doesn’t exist anywhere—who is just gone.”

ignored this and what was said and called it a day

[transhetanybodys]

It's funny how Sweeney Todd almost exclusively kills men and it's *not* a feminist thing, it's literally just that men are the ones who see barbers. Of course you could probably get some deeper analysis out of the fact that he mostly kills men, but it's not a feminist thing even though his wife and daughter were horrifically abused by a man and his friend/lover of convenience Mrs. Lovett's husband clearly wasn't great (at least in the movie? I haven't seen the play in a while.) Once I saw a fundraiser for a version of the story where he and Mrs. Lovett are specifically going after male abusers and that could be cool, I hope that got off the ground.

[vikvampir3]

Tfw when I realize I’ve known this whole time my dazai and general bsd hyperfixation was self destructive and I kinda don’t care

[calamitoustide]

new ship unlocked?

[anarchopuppy]

I need at least another $25 to pay my phone bill in a couple days (and that'd leave me no money left for food, let alone rent next month). I'm still unemployed and paralyzed by one of the worst mental health spirals of my life. Anything helps, if you can spare it

This is my ko-fi. Venmo and paypal available by private request. Love y'all

[ancha-aus]

Gifted Drabble - NewAgeAU - Required Feelings

Hey @spotaus !! As promised! A little thingie :3 As always. No worries about it being canon canon or not hahah. the end choice is up to you ;)

So Spot and I were talking about Killer and his story and it got me thinking about something we already established would happen and happened.

Mostly Killer's interest in Ccino. Because with everything going on with Killer? That makes that so much more interesting. Especially because Killer is still figuring out who he is after everything and Ccino is pretty much a social chameleon.

You guys ready? So here are some drabbles on pretty much a normal average day for Killer since coming to the castle!

Warnings: unhealthy relationships. slight sexual harrassment (not by the guys in focus but done by a background character.)

Also this got a... bit longer than planned... woops. i schemed too hard.

*--------------------------------------*

The last two months had been... strange.

Don't misunderstand. the training? brutal. But so good.

Killer never knew that it could be... fun to move and exercise.

He is so used to only running when he is running from the guards. He is so used to fighting only being adrenaline filled movements to keep the guards back so his best friend- ... so Chara could escape.

He is used to having to tug himself in tight places to hide. places that are uncomfortable.

Training with Nightmare is strange and difficult but fun.

The first time they sparred though?

Well... Killer is never afraid obviously. Chara said that being afraid is useless. But as Killer had stoof ready Nightmare had stopped. Tilted his skull at him and shaking his skull.

Killer had been terrified he had failed. Was his stance wrong? Was he not in the right defences postion? what did he do wrong? Please... He can do better.

Nightmar ehad walked over to him and looked at him calmly before saying that he wouldn't hurt him.

Killer had been frozen in place. because he knew that of course. Killer knows there is no use to training by hurting him. He learned that. Nightmare forced him to stop trianing and taking breaks at the start when he noticed that Killer was pushing himself to far. another difference from chara...

Nightmare had pretty much told him that his body didn't seem to agree with Killer. so that they would go back to Killer attacking him and Nightmare just blocking.

They haven't tried to spar yet since.

Killer sighs as he just wanders the halls. It is his thing at the moment.

When he isn't training, eating or sleeping. He likes to wander the grounds and area. explore a bit. Lay in the grass nad think about Ccino.

Sigh...

Ccino...

Killer is still unsure what to do with these... things he feels. He knows what this is of course. A stupid childish crush. Chara told him about them before. That people get stupid when they have tiny crushes. Especially when it is on someone that is way out of their league.

Killer had nobbed because it made sense. Chara would never have someone being out of their league. More that Chara was out of the league the other person was in.

So here he is... having a little crush on someone who is unobtainable.

Which Killer had known since the start so why did his stupid soul decide on this?

But... at the same time...

Killer looks outside as his mind wanders... His soul shifitng from the target to the more normal soul shape. Could you blame him? Ccino is... Ccino. He is so smart and everywhere and always so controlled and just always knows what to do and who is who...

Killer watches the forest in the distance and sighs wishfully... It would be easy.. especially now that he has a bit of gold... Tehy could get on one of the few horses together. and just ride off into the forest. They would keep going until they found a city where they could hide... Ccino and him. Just them...

He leans against the stone and smiles. Killer could show Ccino everything he knows from living in the city. How to get food where and how to dodge people. Ccino would be there for him. Help him and be nice and just... be there.

"Hello Killer."

Killer shotos upright and turns quickly. Only to come face to face with Ccino. Well not face to face as Ccino is a bit shorter but it is close.

Killer feels his body warm up slightly as he coughs to clear his throat of nothing but stupid nerves "Ccino! I didn't hear you." he grins "You sure you aren't a trained spy or guard yourself?"

Ccino tilts his skull and looks slightly amused "Very sure. I think i would notice the training for one." He looks around and looks through the window for a moment "I saw that you were just standing here and was wondering if something was wrong." and Ccino waits.

Oh gods what does he say? that he was just staring outside and thinking about the future they could ahve if they just made a break for it? that is not going to fly. oh fuck why are his hands sweaty.

Killer shrugs as he grins "Me thinking? You should know by now that i never think!" oh please just end him. what is he doing?!

Ccino frowns slightly before shaking his skull. Killer would feel bad about it but he has a tiny smile! That is something! that is something amazing!

Ccino looks back at him and frowns "Are you okay?"

Killer jsut... blinks at him... him... okay? of course he is okay? "Why wouldn't i be okay?"

Ccino keeps frowing as he just looks at him "Because your soul is a little... woobly... I was wondering if you are okay." he looks a lot stricter "If you aren't okay or feeling alright you need to tell us."

Killer however is... well he isn't NOT listening because how can he not listen to him? But Killer is sligthly panicking. of course his soul is woobly. Because his stupid soul is feeling stupid feelings about Ccino which just get worse when Ccino is here and what does he even say?! Wait! distract and redirect! Easy!

killer grins "Checking out my soul? You should take me on a date first."

WRONG DIRECTION! DIFFERENT DIRECTION! DON'T REDIRECT INTO THAT DIRECTION!

Ccino doesn't even blink at his very poor attempt at a flirt "Killer. I am being serious. Are you feeling okay? If you are sick you need to take time to rest and heal before anything else."

Killer snorts nad shrugs "Euh. I would be fine anyway. The king would probably hate me skipping training for something as stupid as me not feeling okay."

Ccino frowns at him "Killer... I know for sure that our king would much prefer you taking your time to heal and feel okay over you hurting yourself or getting sicker by pushing yourself too far."

Killer snorts as he mutters wiht a shrug "You jsut think that because you have priveledges..." which Killer immediantly regrets. it sounded like an insult or rude or whatever it is called.

Ccino shakes his skull as he mutters "No it is..." he sighs as he rubs his skull for a moment before focussing on him again. "Killer. I can assure you. I swear and promise. our king would not react poorly to hearing you are not feeling well." and he gives him this tiny tiny smile.

Killer feels weird and he has so many impulses and thoughts he doens't even know what to do at the moment. his body is unsure and killer jsut stays put as he looks to the side wiht a shrug.

Ccino watches him for a moment but doesn't push further. Instead he just nods as if Killer made any type of sense as he looks down the hall "Were you going to get dinner? it is about time for it."

Killer takes the out wiht both hands as he answers "I was going into that direction." and if he wasn't before he is now!

Ccino nods "Then we can walk together." he starts to turn and looks at him.

Killer feels his hadns get sweaty again. the impulse to hold the other. to just wrap his arms around the other and never let go. The need to pull him back and away. The other need to just sit with him and stare.

He can not be near him now. Ccino is offlimits and Killer is a mess.

Killer finds his voice "You know... now that i think about it... dinner? yeah... i dunno. Not exactly hungry... maybe you have apoint about me not feeling well. I am going back to my room and rest."

Ccino frowns at him but once again nods "okay. If you still feel ill tomorrow just tell one of the maids okay? Take it easy and try to get some sleep." and ccino walks away. towards the area to get food.

Killer rushes back to his room and falls on the bed. He groans long and loud. Why is he like this? why is this so hard and weird and strange?

Why does he never want it to stop.

Even so Killer jsut lays in the bed. feeling his soul slowly calm down from the racing pace it had been going. slowly it calms a calm pace and Killer thinks he slept for a bit.

Killer wakes up of course. He is hungry.

Ugh. this is what he gets for lying and skipping dinner.

Killer groans as he sits upright... he hopes there is some stuff still in the kitchen for him to raid and-

something in here smells delicious?!

Killer looks around and finds a plate of food on his nightstand. It is mashed potatoes with some greenery in it... hotchpotch? with something that looks like a large meatball and there is a tiny note.

Killer takes the note and reads it. It is ccino. telling him to take it easy and that he left him a meal for when he feels hungry.

Killer takes the plate. and while the food isn't hot anymore it is still warm. He takes a careful bite. but instead of chewing or swallowing he just waits and feels.

He enver realy had meals with intent before. Killer was never in a position to get those. And most restaurants places he took food from hadn't had a chef that cared enough to put intent in.

THe cooks here put a lot of intent in the food. Of nourishment mostly. the want that they feel good.

Killer didn't feel it right away so he doesn't think the normal cook made it. especially because it was chicken planned for dinner today.

He feels it.

It is weak and so light but it is there. Care. soft care from a magic that killer hadn't felt fully before. But the same care he could see shinign through Ccino's eye lights.

It feels like the magic... holds him. but not like guards grabbed him before. but softer and gentle and if he can break.

Killer only finishes his bite onces he absorbed every last bit the intent. He looks down adn ignores the fact that the goop from his sockets are dripping. that the goop is way more watery than normal.

-----

There are a lot of cats out in the castle.

Killer at first hadn't understood why.

Killer knew the church for nim used the animals as sacrifices. That he had...

Killer however also knew that Nightmare is very against sacrifices. If he learned anything in his four months here it was that. Nightmare hates everything that relates him back to his mother.

The news that nim and ngihtamre had been related... well... Killer will admit he had been looking back on those old fantasies or running away wiht a certain someone much more seriously.

But nightmare hated the old ways. He looked at them with disgust each time they were brought up and tried to make sure no situation happened where they woudl be needed. Killer is unsure what nightmare will do once something needs to happen that require those very things.

Maybe Nightmare will just keep refusing to do it. He seems to be very set on doing that.

Either way.

Cats.

So many of them.

Killer right now stands in a hallway. staring at a very sassy little grey with brown spots creature. The cat looks completely unimpressed with Killer.

Killer... hadn't tried to pet the cats yet. He had been... unsure...

Killer knows what he did. What he has done to these very creatures. The pain he caused their brothers and sisters before. Killer had the feelign the cats knew too. That they knew he was a terrible person who hurt those like them before.

Killer still really wants to go that direciton though... He has training with nightmare and nightmare and him had finally moved unto to sparing and Killer found it fun. He wanted to get all the time to spar that he could.

Killer stares down at the tiny creature "come on bud... I really need to go that direction."

The little grey and brown spotted cat looks unimpressed at him before rolling unto his back. showing that forbidden tummy.

Killer may never have petted a cat but he knows that is a trap. Killer shakes his skull "Can't do buddy... I know you will attack me."

The cat just does a slow blink at Killer. The picture of perfect innocence as he lays there. His eyes seeming to say 'why won't you pet me? aren't i cute? and don't i look soft?'

Killer slowly crouches down near the cat "I mean it bud. I need to go the direction you are blocking. Can you please move?" his hands slowly nears the cat. his hand is shaking lightly.

The cat makes that little mrp noise as he nuzzles the floor. wiggling in place.

Killer ligthly touches the cats side-

and the cat snaps to grab his hand with his little claws and bites it.

Killer yelps "ow! Hey! No fair!" the cat already let go and stands at the end of the hall. Looking very proud of himself before throtting off.

Killer glares as he jumps up "hey no wait!" he knows the library is there and Killer doesn't want the cat to start clawing stuf in there. the library is nightmare's pride and joy! he rushes after the cat "Hey! come back here!"

It takes amoment but he finds the cat and grins "There you are Bite!"

and amused voice "Bite?"

Killer turns around and Ccino is right by his side. Looking intrigued as he looks between Killer and the cat he had finally managed the corner.

Killer blinks and searches for the words "Yeah... Bite.. because he bites."

Ccino hums as he looks at the cat. He easily walks by Killer's side and killer tries not to shiver when their sides brush adn touch. Ccino crouches down and lets the cat sniff his hand for a moment. Ccino titls his skull as Bite just starts headbutting his hand and arm.

Waht a traitor.

Ccino chuckles as he picks Bite up and Bite purrs loudly and Killer swears the cat is staring at him smuggly

Ccino hums as he pets the cats "Sorry she bit you. cats need to learn not to see hands as toys. I think she thought you were trying to play with her."

Killer blinks "Her?"

Ccino nods "Yeah. Bite is a girl."

Oh gods please don't tell Killer that he officially named one of the cats and the name is BITE.

Killer rubs his hand "You sure it was just playing?"

Ccino nods "should be... did she do damage?" he frowns slightly.

Killer blinks and checks himself. No. no damage. huh. he shakes his skull "Nah. she didn't do damage... aside from emotional damage that is."

Ccino snorts and nods "Tehy are good at that. Well. I will take this little trouble maker in that case. You good luck at your training. Take the path behind the armour stand. It will take you right to the triaing area and you wn't be ridiculous late." and ccino opens his arms to let Bite jump out.

Killer shakes his skull "wait i euh... how come all the cats like you so much? are they yours?" he does remember the direction for later.

Ccino tilts his skull "They aren't mine. tehy are all strays... i guess they just like this place and see it as safe." a bit of a guilty smile "I do feed them however... which isn't helping the cat situation."

Killer snorts "must take a lot of money to pay for." maybe he can help a bit? share the costs?

Ccino shakes his skull wiht a smile "doesn't cost me anything. Ngihtmare just makes sure there are supplies for them in the castle." at the shocked look ccino smiles a bit softer "He knows I like them. So our king makes sure that they cna stay." he pets the feline by his feet "And what can i say? they are amazing pest control."

Killer laughs and nods "I can imagine. So how did you get them all to like you cat whisperer?"

Ccino looks amused but must be in a good mood as he decides to share his wisdom "Getting a cat to like you is easy. You just need to respect their boundaries and learn their language."

Killer fucking knew it! Killer grins "You can talk to them?"

Ccino blinks and looks a bit sheepish "oh no i can't. I meant... their body language. Cats communicate a lot with body language. Learn to read that a bit and you will know what a cat is annoyed or wants to be left alone. Then you respect their limits. if you are calm a cat is more likely to like you. and if you let a cat leave when it wants to they are more likely to return to you."

Killer gives a slow nod. huh..

Ccino nods "Etiher way. you got training that started like five minutes ago. Use the pathway i pointed out. See you around Killer." and he turns and leaves.

He turns the corner and Killer rushes after him to say thank you but- he is gone... Ccino must have used one of those pathways that the servants all use.

Bite is still by his side. she is looking at him with the most unimpressed look that Killer has ever seen on a cat.

Killer huffs and crosses his arms "What? it isn't like you would know how to trat a crush."

Bite clearly disagrees as she licks her paw before rubbing herself against his leg before throtting off. Looking confident and happy.

Killer sighs before jumping. shit his training! He rushes towards the armour stands and finds the servants path easily enough as he rushes towards the training room.

------

Killer is not sure if he even wants to be here.

Here, being, this stupid council get together thing.

Killer isn't even sure what it was. Just that there are a bunch of council members and old nobels. Something soemthing about it still being from Nim's time or something and Nightmare needing to deal with it.

Nightmare had asked if Killer had wanted to be there. Get a better feel for what normal guard duty was. So he could better understand why his duty was so much different.

Killer figured that it would be helpful. He had been here for six months now. a full half year. and while his training to be a Knight was progressing nicely he didn't know why it was special.

Nightmare had asked if he wanted to rotate with the guard for a while. to better understand their positions and jobs so he could see why his was different?

Killer had agreed.

and it was so different. His private room for one. but also the special training. the fact tha tnightmare would speka to him one on one and ask for his opinions and thoughts.

Being a knight... being a knigh was kinda like beign a personal guard and advisor in one go. It was a honour. and Killer jsut kinda.. stumbled into it.

Killer hadn't even been seriously concidering the job for the first three months he had been here! But then he got curious and figured he could stay and watcha bit longer. just a tiny bit couldn't hurt.

ccino walks by his row of guards and each guard quickly grabs some of the tiny snacks he offers. Ccino stops by a guard that doesn't grab one and gives thema look. the guard notices and eats the snack before ccinoe moves on. Killer grins at him as he grabs his snack and he gets agrin in return before ccino rushes of to take care of the other guards.

it also helps that ccino is here.

Killer is still unsure how ccino is just head of the house and not nightmare's main advisor and right hand. ccino is smart and clearly the most loyal of everyone in the kingdom. How could nightmare only let ccino be head of the house? sure it is a big role but killer doens't think it holds enough respect... but maybe that is just him.

Killer watches the nobel man and woman do their thing. he watches as advisors lean clsoe together to mutter and scheme. mmh. killer will have to point that out later to nightmare. make sure he noticed and knows there may be something brewing with those.

Killer still doens't get why Nightmare doesn't just fire them all. He is the king. he can do that. but someting about not wanting people to revolt or something. taking it step by step to clean it all out.

Euh. Not his job. at least not until he is a full knight.

For now he watches for trouble for Nightmare but everything seems fine... So his sight wanders to Ccino as he weaves through the crowds wiht a practise ease.

Killer is always enchanted by Ccino just. moving with ease and confidence. The way he knows how to move and never bump into anyone. How he gracefully dodges any hands or people stepping back.

Killer still watches of course as Ccino makes his way around the crowd. And he is reasonable near Killer, and Nightmare for that matter as Killer is positioned closest to him, when it happens.

Some nobel person Killer doesn't know who he is or why he is important and he doens't care. Reaches out and grabs Ccino right by the spine and rubs it.

Killer feels his hand for a fist as he moves his hand towards where his knife is stashed.

Ccino manages to twist free, which cna't be comfortable with how he was grabbed and manages to make space "Excuse. I didn't realise i was that close."

Killer has his knife in hand.

The nobel man smirks "If it isn't the pretty skeleton! I must say it is refreshing to still see you here! pretty as always." he looks him up and down and Killer gets ready. There isn't a straight line but Killer could be there within seconds.

"One of the better things of Nim! giving you your job for us all to have something pretty to stare at." the man laughs.

Ccino has a iron hold on his own face as he remains calm "The old king's name should not be spoken. As our own king rules now."

the man smirks before frowning "Though you have let yourself go! Already much fatter than before. such a shame and waste of a pretty face. Though I am sure it would still be fun to have a night together. Especially if we invite some of my business partners-"

And Ngihtmare is there. He grabs the nobel man and throws him across the hall into the wall. Killer can hear bones break and crack form his place.

People gasp and move towards his side but Killer isn't paying attention to that. He seems to be the only one who watches their king and ccino.

Nightmare looks beyond furious. His tentacles are all posed and sharp. ready to strike. He lowers himself and it reminds Killer of the big cats. How they get ready to strike.

A hand on Nightmare's shoulder.

Nightmare turns with a glare but meets ccino's unflinching face. Ccino just shakes his skull at Nightmare.

Ngihtmare breathes heavily and killer cna feel the rage in the air. Is he the only one who notices? because he is already getting sensitive to their king?

Nightmare glances back to the man on the ground and ccino shake shis skull agian. He straightens his spine, killer can see the pitch of pain on his face and nightmare clearly does to as his rage just increases. Ccino shoots him another look. He striaghtens his spine and stands still before looking pointedly atnightmare.

Ngihtmare pants but stands up striaght.

Ccino nods and rolls hsi shoudlers before relaxing them both. Killer can see his hand is still slightly shaking but he forms a fist and forces it still.

Nightmare breaths and his shoulders relax and wiht it his tentacles unsharpen.

Ccino raises a hand and waves it by his face. when his face has gone by his face turned from his frown to a neutral face.

Nightmare takes another deep breath but his face calms down.

Ccino nods and takes a few steps back. his arms and hands hidden behind his back but killer can see them shake slightly.

Ngihtmare walks over ot the nobels "As you should know by now. I do not take kindly to those who dare to threaten those who fall under my employment. I employ them in in trade for their service I keep them safe and comfortable. Yet you dare to enter my home, on my invitation, and threaten those around us? Those who work hard to ensure you have a pleasant evening? you will be removed and stripped of your title. Leave." he waves his hand and returns to his throne but on the way he stops by Killer.

Killer stands ready.

Nightmare mutters "Get Ccino to the healer. You are to make sure he gets there safely and gets to his room safely where he can rest." he eyes the knife that killer still has in his hand and looks appreciative of it. before schooling is face again and nodding. Not once mentioning that he saw the weapon which is very much not part of the normal guard equipment.

Killer nods and bows "Of course my king." and he rushes to ccino's side with a cheerful grin. hiding his own rage under easy company.

He will make sure ccino is fine. Then... when killer earned his right as knight and when he is allowed solo trips... he will make a special trip to the nobel.

after all. if he doesn't have hands he can never make a grab to anyone ever again.

-----

Killer sighs as he pets the cat in his lap. eight months. eight months since his life changed twice over. first wiht chara leaving him behind. abandoning him. and then him taking the deal with nightmare.

So muhc had changed. He had changed.

Killer pets the cat sleeping peacefully in his lap. It is still so strange. That he is still here. He hadn't... he never wanted... it hadn't been the plan to stay.

But after a while. Leaving seemed even worse of an idea.

Killer just dind't like the idea of leaving anymore.

Just until he uncovers the secrets.

Just until he satisfies his curiosity.

Just until he is over his crush.

All three misions failed.

But instead of feeling like it is time to cut his losses and move on. Killer just continues to want to stay here.

Killer sighs as he leans agianst the wall.

very soft steps and Killer grins as he looks over. Ccino turns to corner and tilts his skull at him "Well don't you look cozy." he takes a glance and smiles "I see Bite finally stopped attacking your hand every second."

Killer snorts "nah." he raises his bites covered hand "She just got tired." and he goes back to petting her.

Ccino nods as he walks over "How is your training doing?"

Killer nods "good." and that is the problem. because it is going well. Nightmare told him as much. Killer would soon have his first mission and he is worried.

What if he can't do it?

what if he can do it but doens't want to?

what is he can do it. does it. but dind't want to do it?

is the loyalty he feels... for nightmare? or for the idea that he has to be loyal.

He isn't sure.

Ccino nods "that is good." he tilts his skull at him "excited to be a full knight?"

Killer is feeling ballsy today. reckless even. Killer grins at ccino "What if i don't want to be a knight?"

Ccino doens't flinch and instead tilts his skull "I mean... you would ahve spend a long time training for soemthing you didn't want... so i figured you would have realised earlier."

Killer shrugs "waht if i did? but ust wanted more training?"

Ccino looks a thim and shrugs "I don't believe that. I think you want to be a knight."

Killer glares "And what makes you think that?"

Ccino smiles atiny bit "emotions and intent. If you hadn't wanted it. you wouldn't have tried so hard and made progress this quickly."

Killer blinks and looks forwards "What if i just believed it is what i wanted?"

Ccino shrugs "They yuo have to make a carreer switch."

Killer snorts "Oh yeah. Nightmare is going to be fine with that." he rolls his eyes.

Ccino lokos amused "Yes out king." he stresses the title "Will be fine wiht that."

Killer shoots him a look "oh come on! I knew there is more going on over him just being your king and you just being a loyal servant."

Ccino looks forwards wiht a tiny smile "I have no idea what you are talking about. Only those most trusted by the king would know personal affairs of the king." and he grins.

Killer looks amused "Okay. what if i just become knight to learn all the secrets. and then when i am saticfied i will just leave." he knows he is looking at him smugly.

Ccino tilts his skull amused "Relaly now? When you figure out all the secrets?"

Killer nods "indeed."

Ccino laughs "good luck with that." and he starts walking away.

Killer tilts his skull at him "What is that suposed to mean?!"

Ccino stops and glances backwards "You are a smart cookie. you will figure it out." and he turns around the corner.

At this point Killer knows better than to try and follow ccino. He will be gone before Killer can even get to the corner. probbaly on the other side of the castle already.

Killer keeps forgetting to ask him how he does it.

....

euh.

He will eventually ask him... Maybe...

after all...

He will only leave once he learns all the secrets...

So maybe keeping one or two in tact is a great idea...

You know...

Just because he is curious. And no other reason at all.

[shy-sapphic-ace]

Guys should I write a Dracula musical. Should I???

[pergaminaa]

Just some points on my modern au:

Both Dorian and Manon are from old money families (it’s how they met it was during an exclusive event)

Dorian hates it lowkey he wants freedom and to do as he pleases so he skips as many of these events as he can. But he also knows that if he leaves and Hollin gets in charge… their family would be over because his brother will ruin everything. So he stays around for the sake of his family.

Manon is the opposite. She is always present and taking charge of things in hopes that it would appease her grandmother. But just like everything else she does, it’s never good enough.

She’s a perfectionist who always needs to be in control otherwise she starts falling apart.

She was raised on the notion that emotions are a weakness, and she wouldn’t dare bring shame on her grandmother by being emotional. So from a young age she learned to suppress her emotions and carry on.

She is what her teachers would call ‘academically gifted’ but the truth is, she spent many hours studying and skipping sleep in order to be the top student at her school. Even when she was burnt out (she usually spends summer break studying for the next school year before it starts) she keeps going. Result? Getting a final score of 99.7% caused her to have a breakdown because how was she so careless as to lose that .3%? Her grandmother wasn’t too happy with her score, and she made that very clear.

She’s just so emotionally repressed and very anxious but she’s so good at hiding it no one can tell anything is amiss. Because when Manon is having a breakdown, she does so privately behind closed doors.

She has attachment issues and she’s very emotionality dependent on her dog. Abraxos is her rock and she has no idea what she’d do without him.

Those attachment issues? (Thanks to grandmother’s emotional and mental abuse) Manon often ends up with awful/toxic men just because they’re giving her the right attention that makes her easily want to be with them thinking it is ‘right’ and honestly just doesn’t think much of it (Asterin notices tho and she and Sorrel are always ready to interfere).

She doesn’t have much faith in men anymore. One night stands are way better than a steady relationship and so she swore off dating. All she needs is Abraxos anyway.

[hopecomesbacktolife]

thinking of rereading the entirety of HoME again. for my health

[gothteddiesdotcom]

I think that part of what like. kills me about the whole media literacy and critical thinking aspect of enjoying media these days is that people refuse to like. contextualize that

A. Bad media can still hold significant meaning to people

B. Media made for a demographic you aren’t apart of is not inherently bad media

C. Media made for and consumed by the opposite demographic is not inherently shallow or flawed nor is it above criticism for its media tropes either.

[icewindandboringhorror]

Pictures and things