#been at it since January how many have I managed to finish? two.

[kamiversee]

➶-͙˚ ༘✶ 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙁*𝘾𝙆 𝙇𝙄𝙎𝙏

✧.* CHAPTER 41 || The Cute Bartender

[ { SYPNOSIS } ] ➤ A tale in which Gojo Satoru blackmails you into seducing a list of people to clear his debt. Sounds easy enough, right?

[ { CHAPTER CONTENT } ] ➤ language, very cute fluff, & teasing.

[ { WORD COUNT } ] ➤ 3.6k

[ { PAIRINGS } ] ➤ jjk men x f!reader. gojo x f!reader. geto x f!reader. toji x f!reader. choso x f!reader. sukuna x f!reader. nanami x f!reader.

[ [ chapters mlist } ]

——YOUR QUESTION REMAINS unanswered for quite some time. To constantly weigh out your options of who would be a better lover for you is going to take time.

But, as of right now, even if you wanted to choose Gojo over Choso, he's already made it clear he's not allowing that. He doesn't think he's good for you and, in case you forgot, you're technically supposed to hate him.

That being said, your choice is already made for you.

But none of that is important right now. You were allowed a break until the semester began again but, since your university's winter break was a span of two, almost three months, you were honestly ready to finish the list by late January.

Even though you said you were taking a break from the men, you still kept in contact with them. You'd text Choso on some days but he'd often scold you about how you wanted a break, which only made you want to talk to him more.

Then, you even had your phone calls with Gojo which consisted of him doing the same damn thing-- pestering you by saying 'As much as I love listening to you talk, sweets, you're supposed to be taking a break from me' which, was just as sweet as the messages Choso would send.

Yeah, you were definitely falling for both of them in your own way and nothing could stop that. Even so, you were ready to get back to the list.

There was one name left. You couldn't believe it. As of now, you were laid out on your bed, your delicate fingers curled around a pen as you went down the list of yours. Reading over each name reminded you of your experiences with them, whether it was good or bad, and you were surprised you finally made it this far.

At one point, you doubted you could even do this. So many lessons have been learned, so many personalities and so many situations have been experienced. It's almost, emphasis on almost, beautiful when you think back on it.

To go from a broke and regular college student to one whose life is filled with drama, good (for the most part) sex, and men who've somehow managed to fall for you. It's the kinda thing you never imagined for yourself.

Just one semester ago, you were worried about even landing a job and now look at you; you've managed the money from Gojo better than ever so you're truly set for quite some time.

With a sigh, you place the pen down beside your journal and trace your fingers over the final name; Nanami Kento. Once you sleep with him it's over. It's almost bittersweet to think about.

As you stare at your journal, you think you have a plan for it once the list is complete. A plan that you've talked to Gojo about and he's agreed to-- the two of you are going to burn the list.

Neither of you want any physical evidence of it so you think burning it once it's complete will prove to be a nice way to say goodbye to the memories that come with the list. Nowhere in your text messages or his do you two discuss the list explicitly, just in case someone were ever to go through your devices, and the only time it's been talked about aside from in person is over phone calls.

But, you're not worrying about that getting out. Someone would have to dig really deep to find the recordings of you and Gojo's phone calls. Like, to the police deep to find them. Or hacking your cell. But, you have no reason to worry about that, right? Gojo said he's not involved in anything illegal and you trust him (to some extent).

So again, it's bittersweet to think about this list finally coming to an end. It was like a game you had to play and knowing that the end credits were about to roll soon just made you feel odd inside. Yeah, you wanted it to end but as it was actually happening, it was like leaving a chapter of your life behind.

After all, you'll never be able to undo what's been done. You can't go back and change who you've slept with or how.

So, with that final little thought, you sigh again and then shut your journal. Getting up to put it away in its locked drawer compartment, you wonder what it'll be like to finally meet Nanami.

You have a good feeling about him.

And no, not one of those good feelings that result in disaster but, an actual good feeling. Something about the thought of this tall, blonde, and sexy man whose facial expression holds a stupidly attractive seriousness at all times just makes you feel calm.

You feel like you're going to be dealing with someone so mature that it'll ease your mind, kind of like how your mind was at ease when you first met Choso.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ .　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

And you had every right to be in good spirits about meeting Nanami because the man did, in fact, turn out to be one of the best and lightest experiences for you.

Despite how difficult he may seem, Nanami is just a man you couldn't catch at the right time. That was the only reason why you ever considered him to be 'hard' to seduce. And no, it's not some magical effect you had that made your efforts work, it was this genuine and raw connection that formed when you met him.

It was surely a night to be remembered.

A simple pair of black heels lightly clacked against the floor as you walked with your head held high into that damned nightclub-- the same nightclub in which you couldn't run into Nanami at the right time for the longest. This night was different though, as you had arrived before him for once.

It wasn't planned or anything but, your arrival to the building was before he'd gotten there. The dress you wore to accompany the heels on your feet was just as simple and was shaded in the same color; black. It was moderately tight-fitting and hugged your body just right.

Unlike some of your past dresses, it didn't make you feel like you were going all out and you thought you blended in nicely with everyone else that was there. Around your neck was that same necklace Gojo gifted to you on Christmas as you never really had the heart to leave home without it on.

Your excuse for wearing it all the time was because it was really pretty. It had nothing to do with Gojo of course. Or at least, that's what you tell yourself anyway.

Making your way to the bar, you took a seat in an area you knew Nanami to typically sit at and then you scouted the area for either him or the cute brown-haired friend he's always with. Finding nothing and no one, you sigh and decide to order a drink.

After which, you gave yourself thirty minutes before you'd leave and try again in another two weeks. You didn't even tell Gojo you were starting back up on the list yet so it's not like there was any pressure for you to seduce Nanami tonight, maybe that's what made everything so different.

Your nails tapped across the bar as you waited and at some point, you even made conversation with the cheeky bartender. The thing about this bartender is that you've seen him talk to Nanami plenty of times and you're pretty sure they're friends.

He had this really cute face and pretty brown eyes that made you feel safe in a strange way. Every time you see him he's got this beanie on top of his head and his clothes are always baggy, something you saw his manager scold him about a few times at one point.

Either way, today was your first time actually talking to him and you learn that his name is Ino Takuma and that he actually recognizes you, having paid attention to the few times you've been there.

"Are you waiting on someone, beautiful?" Ino had questioned you.

Oh yeah, and he's also been complimenting you nonstop from the moment you two began talking. It's in a friendly way, you think. It doesn't seem like he's flirting, just being kind, which you like.

You smiled at the man, "Is it that obvious?"

He makes this silly face in thought and you note how expressive he is. "Hmmmm, I mean for me, yeah. But that's only because I see you come here around the same time every two weeks."

"Yeah?" You meet his eyes with a smile on your face and he holds the eye contact for at least five seconds before he looks away. He's adorable. "So, you've really been paying attention to me all this time?" You ask before going to take another sip of your preferred drink of the night.

Ino laughs and the sound is so joyful it almost heals something in you. "I mean, nooo..." He drags out, smiling through his words before he shrugs, "I pay attention to everyone. And plus, how could I forget a pretty face like yours?"

You're still staring at him and you don't think you've ever paid attention to how much someone avoids eye contact before dealing with Choso. After that man, it's so obvious to you now when someone gets nervous to look you in the eye for too long.

"Is that a compliment, Ino?" You ask softly, the use of his name making his ears flush a cute shade of pink.

He clears his throat and wipes down a part of the nearby counter. There are not that many people at the bar tonight so that gave him the leisure to speak to you. "...Yeah," Ino replies, trying to focus on his small task instead of your eyes gazing at his face.

You hum. "Thank you," You say before moving to rest your chin in the palm of your hand as you rest your elbow on the bar.

Ino finishes his little task and then places the cloth he used elsewhere, finally looking at you now that your eyes have gone elsewhere, "He'll be here soon, by the way."

You blink and your eyes flick up to Ino's face, confused by his words, "Who?"

He flashes that friendly smile at you, "Nanami."

You're not sure if you should pretend not to know who Nanami is or if you should ask how Ino knows you're waiting on the man. For now, you swallow, "Nanami?"

Ino moves his hand up and over his head a bit, "He's like this tall, blonde," The brown-haired male gestures toward his eyes, "Wears these funky glasses sometimes?"

You bat your eyelashes at him in confusion, "Okay... Why uh, why're you telling me he'll be here soon?"

"You know him, don't you?" Ino asks, his thin and well-kept brows furrowing a bit as he innocently tilts his head.

"I know of him, I suppose," You answer vaguely, "But, why'd you think I know him?"

His shoulders raised a bit, "Cause' he asked me about you."

You swallow the sudden nervous lump in your throat, "H-He asked about me? Why? When?"

Ino chuckles at the worry in your face. To him, it just seemed like you were nervous in a shy sort of way, "He just asked me if you came here any other times. Like, times when he's not here."

"Why?" You ask.

"I dunno'," Ino shrugs casually, "I think you caught his attention." He adds on with a little wink.

Your lips pull into a straight line, "I highly doubt that."

"Why? You're pretty," Ino compliments yet again.

"Thanks but I've seen Nanami enough times to know that I have not caught his attention. Trust me, I know how men operate when their attention is caught." You scoff as you glance over to the dance floor and watch some of the people there.

Ino doesn't seem to understand what exactly you mean by that and his brows furrow, "You caught my attention, and yet this is my first time talking to you." He points out.

Almost naturally, as if you'd grown accustomed to flirting, your gaze trails back over to the cute bartender and you smirk, words slipping out of your mouth without thought, "I've caught your attention? How so?" You ask, unintentionally adding a sultriness to your tone.

He gulps and his eyes avoid yours yet again, "I mean you are an attractive woman. S-So I just mean it in that you catch more people's eye than you think. A-And uh, y'know, not everyone's gonna approach you first because sometimes attractive people make others nervous..." He stammers out.

He's so ridiculously nervous and it's the cutest thing. You lift your head from your hand and cross your arms over the counter, leaning forward a little and your chest unknowingly growing more visible as you do so, "Am I making you nervous right now, Ino?" You whisper.

Okay, now you're purposefully teasing him.

He chuckles, kinda awkwardly, "N-No? Pfft... I'm not nervous. Y-You-," He clears his throat, "You're not making me nervous."

You raise but a single brow and keep your gaze on him, "You can't even look me in the eyes while we talk."

Ino suddenly looks at you, meeting your unwavering gaze and sweating a bit. "I'm lookin' at you now."

You stare long and hard, right into those brow irises of his and he tries to stare back but, he can't help but glance to the left or right for a split second before trying to keep his eyes on yours.

A slow and taunting smile spreads across your features, "Barely." You point out.

He rolls his eyes and sighs, "Whatever. I wasn't nervous I'm jus' not good with eye contact."

You tilt your head at him and narrow your eyes, "That's not true."

"Eh?" Ino's brows push together, "How are you gonna' tell me..." He says with a pout.

You giggle, "You manage eye contact with everyone else just fine."

He moves for a nearby empty glass someone's placed down, and glances at you as he does so, "So you've been paying attention to me, then?"

Of course, your eyes have hardly left his. It's fun teasing someone like this, "A bit, yeah."

Ino moves with the empty glass to place it with other dirty ones, humming a little nervously, "Oh..." As he does so. Then, you watch him pick up a clean glass and move to make a new drink right in front of you.

"Is that okay?" You murmur. Your voice has this purposeful flirtiness to it and it does not go unnoticed, "Am I allowed to pay attention to you, Ino?"

He gulps, "Course' you can."

Your eyes drop to the glass in his hands as he pours alcohol into it and you smirk, "Ino..."

His gaze flicks to your face for a moment, "H-Hm?"

"You're shaking." You point out.

Ino nearly fumbles the glass in his hand entirely and you watch him miss the cup for a moment, a bit of the liquid he'd been pouring trickling onto his hand and then the floor, "Shit," He curses.

You chuckle slightly at first, earning a little pouty glare from the man.

Then as he goes to clean up you hear him mumbling to you, "That's not funny..."

Your chuckling proceeds to elevate into genuine laughter, "Yeah it is," You snicker, "You're adorable, holy fuck."

Ino's face is a little red as your words hit his ears and he drops down to clean the mess on the floor. After which, he pops right back into your line of vision, seeing you still laughing at him and pouting yet again.

"I am not 'adorable'," Ino grumbles.

You giggle, "Yes, you are."

He shakes his head and sighs in this sassy kinda way, "Am' not."

"Are too," You argue.

His eyes meet yours and despite being embarrassed, he's got a little smile back on his face, "Nuh-uh."

You nod, “Yuh-huh."

Ino then rolls his eyes, still smiling, before he puts all the items he had in his hands down to the side. You then watch one hand drop down into his pocket before his phone is pulled out. Ino unlocks the device and then places it in front of you, sliding it closer to you with an empty contact slot on the screen.

"Put your number in here," He sighs, smoothly requesting your contact info like it's nothing.

You raise a brow, "Are you asking for it or are you demanding it?"

Those almost innocent brown eyes of his trail over to yours and he holds eye contact for a longer moment, "I'm asking. I like talking to you so, can I get your number?"

"Hmmm..." You hum playfully, purposefully taking your time to answer, "Is this to be friends or something more?"

He's still looking you in the eyes, "Uh, friends? I'm not sure I could even handle a woman like you."

You raise a brow.

"I mean that in a good way," Ino clarifies.

You shrug and move to enter your number in his phone, "Thanks. I was only asking that 'cause I uh..."

He tilts his head and watches your fingers tap across his screen, "...Have a lot going on?"

"Something like that, yeah." You answer before you finish adding your info and then slide the phone back to him.

He picks up his cell and pockets it before shrugging, "I see, well, if this makes you feel any better, I always try to get people's numbers after a nice conversation with them."

You frown playfully, "Aw, so I'm not special?"

Again, he's flustered, "W-Well, I mean you are b-but I just-"

"Ino," You snicker, "I'm just teasing you, relax."

He rolls his eyes again and sighs, "You're driving me crazy."

For one last time, you tilt your head and give him this flirtatious look, "Am I?"

Ino looks at your expression and gulps, "Yes ma'am."

Okay, is it weird that a part of you wishes he was on the list too? Holy shit is teasing this man fun. Even so, you've got enough men to worry about in your life and you don't need to add to that.

You chuckle and your expression returns to something more platonic, "Alright, I'll stop then."

"Please," Ino begs quietly in a joking manner.

That makes you laugh again and this time, he laughs along with you. Then, you watch him go back to preparing that drink from earlier and he does it flawlessly this time, his nerves calmed after you stop all your teasing.

As the drink is finished, you sip on yours and then a pleasant smell slithers into your nose. It's cologne, a strong but ridiculously pleasant scent filling your nostrils. You blink a few times as you take in what you're smelling and for a second, you wonder if it's coming from Ino because he got kinda close as the drink he prepared was placed next to you.

Your question is answered within the next second though because you hear a voice that accompanies the scent. A deep, sexy, and soothing voice that makes your posture straighten due to how surprisingly close to you it is.

Nothing more than a simple, "Thank you," Was voiced but even so, it was extremely attractive.

Then, you curiously turn to where the voice came from, which was to your right, and you're met with your last target; Nanami Kento.

There he was, in the flesh, right next to you. Like, literally sitting in the barstool next to yours. And that drink Ino made? Yeah, it was his. Your eyes were all over the man, drinking in his features shamelessly.

The man seemed to be more muscular than you thought he was as the blue button-up shirt he wore clung to his body so delectably. The sleeves were rolled up near his elbows and you could see how muscular his arm was, veins decorating his skin as they became visible from his elbow and down.

The shirt was just hugging his body and you couldn't help but stare. Then, for a moment you look down at his pants. He wore these khakis that were just as fucking tight as his shirt and you swear you didn't mean to look at his crotch but because of the way he sat it was like your eyes were there before you even rendered it.

God, his pants hugged his thighs and you just drink in the way his hips push up slightly as he adjusts the way he sits. Holy fuck, you had to force your eyes up because you swore you could see his manhood, or at least imagine what he's hiding beneath those clothes of his.

So, your eyes went back up to areas more respectable to look at, such as his shirt, which you noticed he had enough buttons undone to reveal a teasing amount of his chest. His collarbone was so sharp and defined and you could only imagine the rest of his body.

Then, you trailed up just a bit more to his neck, then his jaw which was sharp as fuck, to his defined cheekbones, and then his eyes-

And shit.

He was already looking at you.

GOJO SATORU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

GETO SUGURU ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

TOJI FUSHIGURO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢

KAMO CHOSO ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙈𝙚𝙙𝙞𝙪𝙢 / 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

ZEN'IN NAOYA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙀𝙭𝙩𝙧𝙚𝙢𝙚𝙡𝙮 𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮

ITADORI SUKUNA ✔︎ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙎𝙚𝙢𝙞-𝙀𝙖𝙨𝙮???

NANAMI KENTO ☐ 𝘛𝘳𝘶𝘦 𝘋𝘪𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘶𝘭𝘵𝘺: 𝙃𝙖𝙧𝙙

mlist || previous chapt || next chpt

[canirove]

Friends, lovers... and an orange | Chapter 1

Summary: Since the day Adele was born, people had told her she was destined to fall in love with Mason. Their mothers, supermodels Elizabeth Turlingon and Toni Mount, had been best friends since they were teenagers, and according to everyone, it just meant to be. But after 25 years, nothing of the sort had happened. Nothing, until some photos and a big secret changed it all. 

Author’s note: And after almost two years since I started writing this story... it is finally live! 😅 You are lucky my perfectionist self doesn't allow me to post anything that isn't finished, because you would have have been waiting for an ending for ages, and I hate that 🙈 This is a friends to lovers story inspired by all those conspiracy theories about a couple not being able to be together because their evil management team don't allow them to, but with a twist. I hope you like it, and as always, thank you for reading! 💜

Next chapter

Masterlist

Elizabeth Turlington and Antonia "Toni" Mount had been two of the most famous models in the 90's. They both got to be on Vogue covers all over the world, walked for the best designers, and became the face of the most important brands in fashion. They were, what you call, supermodels.

Best friends since they met during a casting when they were just 16 years old, Elizabeth and Toni became inseparable, and their private lives kind of followed the same path. They both got engaged and married the same year, and their first kids were born just a few months apart. First Mason, in January, and then Adele in July.

The media had gone crazy about it, saying that they were going to fall in love and get married because they were destined to be together due to their mothers being best friends. But almost 25 years later, nothing like that had really happened.

Mason, Toni's son, had decided to follow his mother's steps and become a model. Unlike many others, he had chosen to start from the bottom, doing castings like everyone else. He had wanted to make a career due to his talent and not because of his last name (he had taken his mother’s instead of his father’s as an homage), and he had managed to do it. Mason was now considered one of the most successful male models, his face basically being everywhere. Brands were fighting to have him on their campaigns, all the designers wanted him on their shows, and your party was nothing if he wasn't attending. He was THE one.

Meanwhile, Adele had chosen a quiet life. Everyone had always told her that she had gotten the best of her parents, her mother's looks and her father's brain, but she had never been interested in modeling. She had focused on her studies and going to uni, and the only thing related to that world that she liked was photography, which also was the thing that she and Mason enjoyed doing together the most. 

Growing up they weren't super close, they were just... friends. They had never been attached to the hip like people expected them to be. That, had actually been their little brothers' case. But their relationship would completely change every time there was a camera involved. 

When Adele turned eleven, her dad gifted her her first proper camera, and Mason was as fascinated by it as she was. They spent the day learning how to use it, and after getting the hang of it, their days would consist in going outside and taking photos of each other or anything they saw. A tree, a rock, the sunset... It didn't matter. They would be gone for hours, though for them time flew by.

As they grew older and busy with their own lives, they started to see each other less often, but the couple of weeks in the summer they spent together with their families were a must, and both of them would bring their cameras and go out to explore. 

"These photos are stunning, Adele" Toni said. 

"Thank you" she smiled.

"What about mine?" Mason asked.

"Lovely too, darling. But she has something you don't have."

"Thank you, mum" he said, rolling his eyes. "Though I agree. Addie here is the talented one."

"Thank you" she replied, Mason putting an arm around her shoulders and hugging her. 

Addie. That had been his nickname for her since they were kids, and everyone else in their families had picked it too. Addie and Mase, something you could still see carved on a tree in her grandmother's garden. They were twelve when they did it, and she almost killed them when she saw it.

"You know, I've been thinking and... Why don't you take the photos for my 50th birthday party?" Toni said. "I was looking for someone, but why pay a stranger when I have you?"

"That's a wonderful idea!" Elizabeth said. "Now you won't have an excuse to not attend."

"You weren't coming?"

"I... I'm just busy with..." Adele mumbled.

"With nothing. You just finished your degree and still don't know what to do next" her mum said. "She'll be there."

"Wonderful!" Toni smiled.

"It'll be a small thing, you will be fine" Mason said. "And if you need help to run away or hide, you can always count on me" he winked.

"Thank you, Mase" Adele smiled.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

Flashforward to Toni's birthday party. The small thing, wasn't small. At all. Adele had already taken photos of over fifty people and more were arriving, and by the time she was done with the photocall, her memory card was full.

"How is it going?"

"Shit, Mase. You scared me" she laughed.

"Sorry" he smiled, that cute dimple of his showing.

"I'm lucky I brought several memory cards with me. A small thing, you said?"

"Yeah… You know my mum" Mason replied, scratching the back of his head. "Do you want to have a drink or something before going back to it?"

"Sure" Adele said. "Just let me put my camera somewhere safe."

Once they were done with that drink, it was time to go back to work, and she filled two more memory cards before Mason went looking for her again. But she just couldn't stop taking photos of all the guests and what they were wearing, of them dancing, talking, drinking, laughing... They all were captivating.

"Mum wants you with us for the cake."

"What? And who will be taking the photos?" Adele asked.

"I don't know" Mason shrugged. "But she wants you there with us and your parents."

"Ok" she sighed. She hated being in front of the camera unless it was Mason the one behind it. Somehow, he always knew how to make her feel comfortable. "By the way, who was that girl you were talking to earlier?" Adele had been drawn to her the moment they had crossed paths. She had the most beautiful black hair she had ever seen, and after taking a few snaps of her, she saw her talking with Mason. Or flirting, to be more precise.

"We were on a shoot together a couple of weeks ago. She's nice."

"And she fancies you."

"What? Nah. She's just a work colleague, nothing else."

"If you say so... But what about that other girl? The one you were seen with the other day, the singer."

"Addie, are you interrogating me about my love life?" Mason laughed.

"No, I was just... It doesn't matter."

"I'm going on dates but I'm not dating anyone. Got what you wanted?" he smirked.

"That's not why I asked. I…"

"Mason, Adele. C'mon!" her mum called after them. "It's almost cake time!"

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

By the end of the night, Adele had five memory cards full of photos, her feet hurt like hell, and she was slightly tipsy. 

"Do you think your mum will mind if I don't have the photos ready right away? I think it will take me days to go through all of them and edit them."

"Yeah, don't worry. Take your time" Mason said while helping her pack her camera. "And if you need an extra pair of hands and eyes, just call me. I'm free for the next few days."

"Thank you, Mase" she smiled. 

"Do you want me to accompany you home?"

“There is no need. But if you could wait with me outside until my uber comes..."

"Of course. And we could share it if you don't mind. I'm going back to my place instead of my parents."

"Worried your mum may not allow you to sleep until lunch time?" Adele chuckled.

"Exactly" he smiled.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Why is that car taking so long?" 

"I wish I knew" Adele yawned.

"Tired?"

"Very" she said, resting her head on Mason's shoulder. "And a bit cold too."

"Come here" he said, putting an arm around her shoulders and pulling her closer to him. It was something he had been doing since they were kids, and it felt natural, familiar… comforting. 

"You smell really good tonight. What perfume are you wearing?"

"Can't tell you, it isn't out yet."

"A new campaign?"

"Yep. You'll get tired of seeing my face everywhere.”

"Of seeing your face everywhere again, you mean" Adele teased him. "But congratulations, Mase. A perfume contract is huge!"

"It is, yes. And I'm really proud of this one. I actually helped pick some of the ingredients."

"You did? That's amazing! Let me smell you again."

"Ok" Mason laughed, moving his head so she could do it better.

"Oranges. Of course you had to pick oranges."

"They are my fave, and yours too” he smiled. “And they remind me of that trip to Italy, the one where we ate the best pizza ever at the beach."

"Oh my God, that pizza was so good… Now you are making me hungry!”

"Maybe we could stop to eat some on our way home. If the uber ever..."

"There it is" Adele chuckled when the car stopped in front of them. "Should we stop at Giorgio's?"

"You know the way to my heart, Addie" Mason smiled while opening the car's door for her.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Addie… Addie, wake up. Ad… Adele!"

"What" she mumbled, slowly opening her eyes. 

"Something has happened, Addie. Look" her friend Jourdan said, literally putting her phone in her nose.

"I'm not that blind, you know" she complained while picking it. "What is this?"

"This was published this morning. Is... Is it true? Did you...?"

"Did I..." she said, her eyes finally adjusting to the light and being able to read what was on the screen. "Mason Mount and Adele Turlington caught kissing! The couple was seen outside Toni Mount's birthday party sharing confidences, laughing and getting cosy before leaving together in the same car." "What the fuck?"

"Addie, are you dating Mason? I thought you didn't like him like that" Jourdan said.

"What? No! I'm not dating him and I didn't kiss him!"

"Then why does it totally look like it?"

"It was the angle! I was just smelling his neck!"

"You what?" her friend laughed.

"It's a long story. But I didn't kiss him!"

"Well, the whole world thinks you did. And people are going nuts about it."

"Wonderful. That's just wonderful" Adele sighed. 

Knowing how much people wanted them to be together, she and Mason had always been careful around each other to try to not start any rumours. But that night, they had let their guard down, the idea that there could be paparazzis still waiting outside never crossing their minds. And now, what they had always feared, could have started.

[pastafossa]

The last day of 2023.

And holy shit has it been a chaotic ride, one which you all shared with me, or that's what it feels like!

The Major Moments:

Feb: Cato's cancer diagnosis and discovery of weird mutated cells that likely won't be explained until after he passes away. He's still with me, fortunately! No idea how much time he has left but I'm grateful for every second

April: a small leak in my dining room ceiling turned into a bigger leak which turned into a massive hole in the ceiling, at least it wasn't winter???

May: DD Born Again Photos give us all a goddamn heart attack

May: I FUCKING REACH MY OVERALL 1,000,000 WORD COUNT ON AO3. 🎊 🎉 🎊 Next stop is 1mill for TRT!

June: Went to my first con since Covid! Drove all the way down to Philly to see Charlie Cox, WHICH WAS FUCKING AMAZING, HE HELD THE RED THREAD FOR OUR PHOTO, MY FANFIC DREAMS HAVE COME TRUE, AND I TOLD HIM WHAT DD MEANS TO ME AND HE WAS SO NICE I COULD CRY

June: At that same con, I finally FINALLY got to meet my bff @wonderlandmind4 in person after many many many late nights of chatting, and we just CLICKED like we'd been friends for years, which I should have expected, but still! And then I got to meet a bunch of my readers, too! Best con experience EVER

July: enter Whoops Covid Finally Got Me After 3 Years But Charlie Was Worth It ™

July: Finally dusted off my draft of Pasta's First Dark Fic cause even if my brain was too fuzzy to write, I figured I could edit a bit. And I did! And was pretty happy with the results!

August: Shit Now There's A Long Covid Heart Issue And I Can't Be Seen Until Late November Thanks Covid ®

August: leak in the garage leads to me losing about 65% of all the beautiful, special woods pieces I'd gathered over the course of six years for carving. Within a week I am gifted a huge bin of wood from a kind soul at my local witchy shop

Sept: TRT's 6th anniversary!

Nov: I was slowly getting back into the swing of things, doing a bit of writing in between learning to manage whatever was going on with my heart (which we'll hopefully figure out in January when I get all the results of testing in Jan)

Early Dec, and the worst week of my life: mom got sick. Within one day she went from not feeling good to needing an ambulance. By the next day, she was in the ICU - flu induced double pneumonia that was interfering with her breathing and heart issues. And with one more day, she was put into an induced coma and ventilated, without any of us sure if she'd pull through. They told us she'd likely be under for two weeks, potentially longer even if she made it. The amount of messages and supportive comments I got from all of you, the talks I had with @wonderlandmind4 and @shouldbestudying41, just the general sense of having a community to help me means more than I can ever say as you all helped me through that terrible, horrible moment, even if it was just gently messaging me to remind me to try to eat.

Mid Dec: against ALL odds, Mom was off the ventilator in a week. By week 2, she was out of the ICU. By week 3? Off to the physical rehab center. She was there a grand total of 1 week before she was allowed to come home to finish her recovery. Early December was the worst moment of my life, and yet it was also bookended by the best Christmas of my life even if it was spent at the rehab center, because I got to have my mama back, and hug her and tell her I loved her and make jokes, and now she's home and we've been watching Christmas movies and eating grilled cheeses, and as far as I'm concerned, that's what the holiday is to me: not presents and snow and lights, but this moment, this time with her. 'In all the places you find love, it feels like Christmas.'

In just a few hours for me, it'll be 2024. I have no idea what to expect going forward, or even what to plan for, much less a resolution. I know I want to get back to TRT when mom's a bit better (she still needs a lot of help, understandably). I know there are wood carvings I want make; friends I want to visit; witchy events at my local shop I want to go to. But other than that... who knows? If I'm lucky, things will be calmer than this past year. But even if they aren't, at least I know I have dear friends, all of you, and my family, including Pasta Mama, to help me through it.

Goodbye, 2023. Hello, 2024.

[thatpaintedpony]

It’s Christmas so it’s time for the 2023 year in review. This is going to be a rollercoaster so strap in.

We kicked off 2023 with a trail ride down to our neighbour’s place to ride on her lovely arena, and needless to say Sky took it all in her stride, though she was a little wide eyed when she met their many, many, many blood hounds. It was, however, extremely hot, and we both came home drenched in sweat and ready for a shower.

We had, of course, been preparing for our Novice debut for nearly 12 months now so we were also starting to work with a bit of elementary stuff, working slowly on our laterals and developing our walk to canters. January at work was deeply miserable, as my excellent manager had left and I was left in a job I hated, surrounded by people I didn’t like, plus I wasn’t allowed to work from home which made riding a bit miserable. Still, we plugged along through January.

I once more rode at the MARC Unofficial comp and did another two Unofficial Novice tests, with one scoring 73%! Unofficial scores are never a good indication of where you are realistically, but it’s always nice to see that score starting with a 7. Then, finally, FINALLY at the end of January, we competed in our FIRST Official Novice test at Bowral Dressage Club, more than 8 months later than intended. We had one more error (broke to canter in the lengthen trot) but otherwise put in two very solid tests and scored 64% for both, and placed 2nd and 4rd. Not bad for our first official comp! It seemed the curse was finally broken!

In February, it was off to South Australia to see Mum and Dad, during which time I went on a hot and rather random trail ride on a standardbred out the back of some random lady’s paddock, enjoyed some beach time, and went for a lot of dog walks. We did get excellent weather for  change which was nice!

The end of summer brought a boon of blackberries, since our property at Gunning is rank with them and even as annoying as having a property full of noxious weeds is, at least these ones have berries.

We also started preparing for our Novice Freestyle, which was supposed to be debuted at the Festival last year, but never got finished due to the broken hand. This meant a few trips out to a local arena to get the timing right, which we also used to start to develop our elementary work a bit more.

In March it was off to Melbourne to meet my delightful cousin and her new hubby, back from London to visit the family, and Mum and I had an excellent time exploring some museums while we were there.

We had another solid official Novice at ACTDA in March, with 64% and 65%, keeping our scores fairly consistent. We probably could have done better but Sky decided to do a choose your own adventure test so was anticipating pretty badly. In March we also tried our hand at hacking, and did excellently, though it was revoltingly hot, and landed Champion Led Pinto and Reserve Champion Led Warmblood, and picked up a ribbon in almost all our classes.

April rolled around, and with it, Dressage in the Bush. We camped out at Bendick Murrell Showgrounds, and competed in the AOR Novice Championship and the Novice Freestyle. Our Freestyle went well and we won (after a bit of a snafu with the scores) and we placed 3rd and 6th in the Championship, only JUST missing out on Reserve Champion due to an error of course in our first test. But Sky was absolutely exemplary the whole time and I was SO proud of how well we went.

We also won a lesson with the amazing Susan Elekessy, who has become our eyes on the ground, helping us pick up little things that Peter can’t see through the Pivo. She was very complimentary towards Sky, as well, which is always nice.

After the excitement of Dressage in the Bush, a certain SOMEONE (looking at you Lexi) conned me into entering Elementary at the HDC Festival. I figured it would be a good opportunity to see how we would go, how solid our Elem work was. Afterall, we had most of the main movements alright, though our travers was less good. Due to a wedding, I wasn’t able to compete AOR, so I found myself riding my first ever elementary tests in an OPEN CHAMPIONSHIP. No pressure, right? And yet somehow my magical unicorn Sky managed to not only not embarrass us, but to PLACE 6th in the 3.2 with 65%, which ALSO qualified us for States. Insane! We also got 2nd in the Novice Freestyle. Unfortunately the big week and competing elementary meant that by the time we got to our Novice championship, Sky was exhausted, so while we put in decent tests we didn’t manage to place against the Open horses. Still, it was amazing to finally make it to the Festival that I worked so hard to help organise, to actually be able to ride with my amazing friends.

Post Festival, I finally started a new job at ANU, transferring from the Digital Literacy team back into the Library, taking on the role of Information Access and Training Officer, which was a HUGE step in improving my attitude towards work. I love my new manager and my new team, and I’m having so much fun being back as a librarian.

Peer Pressure struck once again, and I found myself entered at States in both Novice and Elementary. With not a lot of time between the Festival and States, I trekked out to Wagga to try and get one more ride at Elementary in before States. We did the 2.3 and the 3.3. We had some hefty mistakes in the 3.3 and ended with 62.8%. Even better, we cracked 70% at Novice for the first time in an Official test which is an excellent benchmark!

Before States I went back to South Australia to surprise Dad for his birthday. Little did I know, it would be the last time I saw him outside of hospital.

Then it was States again. On paper, it wasn’t the most successful Championship we’ve been to. We scored 57% in the 3.3 which was one of our worst ever scores, and 61% in the 3.2, which put us mid field in both tests, which considering these were our 6th and 7th ever Elem tests I was still pretty pleased with, however it did show that Sky was getting a bit scrambled about the simple changes. Then in the novice, again, she was tired, scoring 63% and 64% in the two tests with some silly mistakes. So no ribbons, but the fact that we were even competing at States in at two levels when before Sky the thought of competing at states AT ALL was far out of reach, so I’m still proud to have been there, and we were mid-field in all our tests so definitely not at the bottom!

We took some time off competing while we addressed the issues that had arisen in rushing our Elem start, namely that for a while we were entirely unable to trot, and could ONLY do walk to canters and canter walks. It was a whole thing. So we stepped it back to Novice while we addressed that.

In September, my dad unexpectedly went into hospital with severe pneumonia, among other things. I rushed down to Royal Adelaide hospital to be with him, and stayed for a week as he slowly recovered. He seemed to be getting better, so I came home. I competed at ACTDA in Novice, in a howling gale. Her tests were tense, but obedient, and we got 63% and 64% (at least we’re consistent).  

Then, a week later, Dad passed away in the ICU at Royal Adelaide Hospital. It has been the most devastating thing that has ever happened to me.

I came home and tried to pick up my life again.

In November, my bestest for the restest and I decided to start a Podcast, revisiting our terrible writing from when we were teens, in an effort to try and create some sort of platform since apparently that’s what you have to do to publish a book these days.

Finally, it was time for the Canberra Classic. The big local championship that I missed last year due to Sky’s endless seedy toe. I was tough, being the first time I’d competed since Dad died. He was always so invested in my competitions. It was hot, and windy, but Sky put in two lovely tests. We got slammed in the first with 62% for having her poll too low, but scored 69% in the second test to place 5th AOR. If we’d competed Open we’d have been second! Still, I can’t complain about a 69% so was extremely happy, and we got to take home a shiny ribbon.

On the 18th of November we said goodbye to Dad with a wake at one of his old haunts in Balmain, spreading his ashes off Darling Street wharf. I was reminded how truly beautiful the friendships I’ve made are with the support of my amazing pals. I wish they could have met him.

Sky and I came 4th in the AOR Novice Horse of the Year rankings, and I was awarded a Bronze performance medal at ACTDA.

And so we have rolled onto the end of the year, starting to reintroduce our elementary work, getting stronger and ready to start competing at Elementary next year.

Then, approximately 10 minutes before leaving to fly to SA again, I bought a new towing car, a 2010 Mitsubishi Pajero. Hopefully it’s excellent, and I can pass my trusty Prado on to a new owner!

This Christmas is a little bit sadder. A little bit emptier. There were no power tools under the tree this year. Less beers in the fridge. The weather is crap and somehow appropriate. I wish you were here, Dad. Merry Christmas.

[mercuryswonderland]

Hello, again ✨💚⚰️🩷

I wanted to post my first tcoaal fanfic ✨🩷 it's from January and i plan to write more!

Part 1 of my TALES FROM THE GRAVES series.

I hope you like it 😊 I'll leave the ao3 link as well: https://archiveofourown.org/works/53360599

Summary:

On a rainy day, Andrew Graves realized his new favorite thing is looking after a sick Ashley.

In sickness, in health

💚⚰️🩷✨💚⚰️🩷✨💚⚰️🩷✨💚⚰️🩷✨

It was raining heavily outside. Dark clouds obscuring the ever-gloomy dusky woods, as thick mist surrounded the trees. Andrew appreciated the view as he finished his last cigarette of the day.

Reminiscing in the horrible events from last week was oddly calming to him. Once he crossed that line of eliminating his own parents, he crossed yet another by offering them to a demon, consuming them and discarding the remains to the ocean. It was wrong, it was illegal. But it felt right. He felt lighter than he has ever felt before.

He felt free.

He was content when he managed to find an old wooden cabin, located not too far away from the village. Thankfully, the rent was actually affordable. So affordable in fact, he thought he was being scammed. Fortunately, the owner was a gentle old man, who happened to be in the mood to help two lost souls, wandering through these unforgiving hostile lands. It was odd the old man didn’t pry about their lives, nor did he ask many questions at all in fact. Which was good in his eyes. He could get used to the quiet life.

Though, it was calm. Way too calm.

That’s when he decided to search for the cause of his nightmares. The one who makes him do these unspeakable things. The one who makes him mad and black out with rage and more.

The one he loved most.

Ashley Graves. While beautiful, is a rollercoaster of influence that can’t be left alone for too long. Andrew knew that very well, though he appreciates every second he can get, alone.

He entered the small cabin, greeted by a familiar, comfortable warmth. The cabin had an old fireplace that was very much appreciated during the cold days of the frosty winter. The fresh scent of petrichor from outside and the warm, cozy living room, made him sleepy.

He searched for his one and only favorite set of pink eyes, and found her sitting on a chair, looking outside the window. She was frowning, and appeared lost in her own silly dark mind of thoughts. Thinking was rare for her, so that was something of a pleasant surprise. Ever since they ran away to this cabin, she had been using that brain of hers. A new hobby, perhaps. Though it came a little late, he’d say.

He decided to stop admiring her from the doorway, and slowly made his way toward her.

“Hey, what’s gotten into you, lately?” He inquired, tracing his index finger over her neck. He leaned over her, giving her the affection he had been more open about giving her now that they weren’t being constantly monitored anymore.

She slightly shivered by his light touch, and adjusted her posture, while looking at him.

“Oh, A-Andrew, hey. How are you?” She asked, shifting against him. “The weather is shit today, huh? But that’s fine, I guess.” She said with a bored tune and waved her head. Andrew noticed that she was beginning to waver, her head moving a little too easily from side to side, as if she couldn’t balance her head on her own shoulders. She was beginning to slump forward, which prompted him to reach out to catch her.

“Hey! Be careful.” He said, holding onto her. Ashley leaned back, her head falling onto his shoulder. She left it there. Wordlessly, he pressed the back of his hand to her forehead, and winced audibly at the heat he felt.

“Yep, you’re sick.” He declared. Though he didn’t stop holding her. “You definitely have a fever.” He helped her stand up, hearing a mumble here and there. Though what she said next, he couldn’t even muster the energy to be surprised about it.

“Heh, Are you calling your sister hot?” The insufferable little sister she was, asked with her usual smile. Though wavering because of her illness. All he did was sigh in return. “Well, thank you, I guess. Big brother~.” Ashley smiled weakly at him. Though she didn’t protest at all to his help. The combination of her teasing and her letting him take care of her like this only made him want to help her more.

Ever since they both saw that vision, he’s been noticing that she’s been trying to get closer to him, and get on his good side. Though, for anyone else that would be a task easier said than done. But by virtue of their shared blood, he’s been letting her attempts chip away at him little by little.

She sat on the ample bed as he covered her in blankets. Andrew took her temperature with the thermometer and asked what she was feeling.

“So, let me restate this again just so you get it through that sick skull of yours.” She muttered something back, probably some kind of weak insult. “You have a fever, headache, and a sore throat. Not to mention you’re absolutely feeling weak.”

He remembered from back then how he used to take care of Ashley when they were kids. While their parents worked, and while they didn’t take the time to pay much attention to them. Fortunately, he remembered what their mother taught him, about what basic medicine and precautions he should take if he ever got sick.

One of the very few rare occasions she ever showed an ounce of care…

Shaking the thought of their dead mother from his mind, he returned his attention to Ashley.

“Yep. It’s been a while since I got sick. Maybe the starvation screwed me up real bad. Am I going to die? I can’t die, you’ll wander around, looking for hussies!” Ashley spat her dramatical nonsense once more, as she saw Andrew deeply in sight and covering his face in slight irritation.

“Ashley, let’s not start with your shit right now. You’re sick, and the more I have to hear your mouth the greater chance you get me sick too. So here, take this medicine and stay here while I prepare you something.” The tone of his voice was frustrated, it helped masked the fact that he was really worried about her.

“Dumbass…” Ashley muttered, though she obeyed as he grabbed a pill from the cabinet and a cup of water, swallowed when he poured it in her mouth for her.

Satisfied with her cooperation, he went to the small kitchen and prepared something for them both. It was time for dinner, after all, and Ashley needed some food in her body now more than ever. He approached the counter and opened a recipe book. The same one he used at their parent's home. He chose to bring it, in case Ashley would get creative with her newfound taste in taboo meat. He thought he should be worried about these bizarre thoughts, but he was content in the fact that he didn’t care at all.

“This will do. Easy and fast.” He decided, settling on a recipe of soup. It will fill their stomach and it goes well on rainy days.

While he waited for the soup to be ready, he hummed an unknown melody, as his mind started wandering off.

👁️

*Years ago*

He was around ten years old, watching some cartoons on the TV, when he heard Leyley complaining in their shared room. He sighed and went to check on her. She was sitting on his bed, sniffing and hugging her precious green bunny plushie.

“What’s wrong, Leyley? You’re extra noisy today.” He sat with her and rubbed her back, affectionately.

“*sniffs* I’m dying, Andy!! I think my head is melting and I feel dizzy.” She complained loudly, and was as exaggerated and over dramatic as usual. Though even as she said that, she couldn’t help but hug him tightly.

He’s not surprised at all and returned the embrace, appreciating the sweet moment. He wasn’t sure if she had high fever, let alone if there was anything useful in their damned apartment, so he had no other option but to call their mother.

“Listen, Leyley. I’m going to call mom. You can stay in my bed if you want, I'll take care of you, okay?”. He saw her whipping her small tears and nodded, as she snuggled in his bed, cuddling her plushie.

He might or might not have felt jealous over a plushie…

Right?

He took the phone and dialed a phone number, mentally praying to whoever God or Demon that might’ve been listening, that their mom would answer. Thankfully, she did but he didn’t miss the sound of her exasperated sigh.

“What is it, Andrew? Is it her again?” Their mom’s coldness, as she referred to his sister as “her” instead of “Ashley” really showed how much - or rather how little - she cared for her.

“Hey, mom…can you bring some medicine afterwork?” Andy asked, with a hint of worry in his voice. “I think Leyley is sick, but I don't know what to do.”

His mother sighed and shook her head. Instantly finding doubt in his claim. “Are you sure she isn’t just putting on an act? That child always finds ways to waste my time.” She paused for a moment, leaving Andy’s resentment towards her own mother to grow each passing second.

“If she’s really sick, it’ll be a problem for me later. I’m certain I left some medicine secured on a white box, inside the bathroom’s cabinet. Take it and give her-”

Andy was taking notes of his mother’s instructions, making sure nothing escaped him, until she stopped explaining. She hated to repeat herself, so he only had the one chance to catch her advice.

“Then, I'll be getting back to work. I won’t be able to come home early, nor will your father. There’s something to prepare dinner in the fridge. You’re diligent and smart, so I’m sure you’ll figure out how to make something as easy as soup,right? it’s nothing to you.”

Andy said nothing, as the awkward silence filled the room, and his mother finished the call. “.....Take care, Andrew. I’m sorry.”

She always says sorry. Why does she even bother?

Ever since that day, Andy made sure to take good care of Leyley. Not wanting her to feel like she wasn’t worth being taken care of. It was the least she deserved for being his sister.

👁️

Andrew dozed off from his thoughts, almost feeling nostalgic. The smell of the soup made his stomach grumble as he hurried to serve two portions on the new bowls he and Ashley bought while shopping, a couple days ago. He set the freshly served soup on the tray and carefully walked to the room.

Ashley was waiting for him. He noticed her tired eyes focused on the tray and her face relaxed. He also noticed her body sightled gained weight. It was a good sign, telling him their days of starvation are in the past now.

“Beautiful.” He thought, as he carefully sat on the bed, next to her. He handed her the tray with her soup, as he took his to enjoy the meal.

“What took you so long? Were you daydreaming or something? My stomach screams and you leave poor Ashley all alone. Woe is me, I’m surrounded by deceivers!” Mocked Ashley, though it lacked the usual venom she could portray, likely thanks to the sore throat.

She was easier to deal with when she was sick and reliant on him, at least.

“Just eat the damn soup before it gets cold, Ashley. I made this for you.” Said Andrew, not in the mood to follow her complaints right now.

A comfortable aura surrounded them, as they enjoyed the sound of rain and the fireplace kept them warm. They started to eat.

Not even three minutes passed, as he looked at Ashley taking sipping her soup, (hoping she would like it), and saw as a single tear drop slipped down her porcelain face and a small smile appeared.

Another thing he found beautiful.

“What’s wrong, Ley- Ashley? Is the soup too hot?” He gently dried her tears and he cupped her face with his right hand.

“N-no, it’s just…. I just remembered one time I was pretty sick and you took care of me, exactly like this. With soup like this. Only you cared for me, when no one else did. Not even our fucking parents…. and yet, i still freak out of you leaving me behind, I’m…” She sniffled, unable to finish what she wanted to say.

Andrew thought the fever was making her emotional. He let the urge to kiss her forehead overtake his mind, despite her fever too. It calmed her down a little. But not enough, evidently, when she grabbed his collar to pull him and bury her face into his neck, muffling her sobs.

“I’m aware I've been spacing out lately, and I hate it as much as you but… after everything we’ve been through, I guess I'm starting to crumble. Ugh, this sucks. You’re the one supposed to be a soft gooey marshmallow.” She tried to lighten the mood with her mocking.

But only childish sobs could be heard.

“Ashley, for the thousandth time, I'm not going to leave you alone. I chose you. I care for you, more than any other being in this fucking planet. If i didn’t, i wouldn’t be trying to comfort you. Please, look at me.” He took her face with both hands and looked her deeply in her eyes. Forest green met sunset rose as if trying to communicate with their souls.

“T-then….can you kiss me?” She hesitantly asked.

“Kiss you… you want me to kiss you, on your lips?” He asked, as a slight blush tinted his face. “You really are sick aren’t you? Sick in the head…”

“Yes, Andrew. I want you to kiss me on the lips.” She said, not rising to his bait like she usually would. “Is that much to ask from your poor dying sister? Kiss me, I want it.” She said, slightly irritated he didn’t immediately accept her command. Perhaps Andy is really gone and Andrew’s was what's left.

A minute passed as he deeply sighed, thinking about his next move. In truth, he'd been considering the vision they both saw, but it wasn’t the time for that. Tonight, he wanted to take care of her.

And so he did.

Without thinking about the consequences for the moment, he closed the gap between them and kissed her gently. For him, who had kissed countless times, it was as easy as breathing, but he knew that for Ashley, it was far more special.

He let her savor the moment, as her trembling hands wrapped behind his neck and both closed their eyes. It was a simple, soft kiss, yet held sentimental value to them.

One step away from the vision.

At that moment, he didn’t think too much about it. He already crossed many lines.

Once separated, he saw Ashley, smiling as brightly as ever. He knows she can manipulate him easily. But for the first time in a while, he felt like he was doing it on his own will.

The devil spoke.

“Kiss me more. Give me more of you. Heal me.” She spoke in a sweet manner, as her pink eyes focused on him, forgetting the steaming soup on the bed.

Andrew indulged, embracing her and giving her a deeper kiss, this time filled with unspoken promises of something far more pleasant. She happily accepted everything from him, melting in his touch, as two starved animals.

A couple days later, Ashley was revitalized and full of energy!

Andrew, however…..might need another bowl of soup, as he got the cold for kissing Ashley, many, many times.

Oh well!

Fin(?) ✨

[mirjam-writes]

What about you? What writing are you happy about this year?? Is there anything you want to brag about?

Happy Yule, solstice, Christmas, Festivus, (belated) Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and Doctor Who Day! And anything else you might celebrate, or happy Monday if you don’t!

Thank you so so much for asking 🧡🧡

This was quite a writing year for me. I wrote only four stories, but I'm quite proud of all of them. To Love Somebody was my first foray in rare pairs. An angsty backstory for Shadwell, and what made him the way he is. It has an hopeful ending, and I'm quite proud of the structure, and how much I managed to squeeze into the small word count. Girls Just Wanna Have Fun is a short and wholesome outsider pov story I wrote for an event. I was surprised how much people liked it! It was also my first attempt on present tense, which continued in A Stable Relationship, one of my FTH stories for this year (the second one will probably be a bit late, and be completed in January). I had fun writing it, and it turned out to be a good one, and the only one of these oneshots that was Explicit. It was set in horse riding world.

The reason why I wrote only three oneshots, and why my second FTH piece is late, was of course my favourite story of all time: Be Still My Soul trilogy. A human AU story set in the sad moments of Finnish history.

Despite the class differences, landowner Azirafel Fjäll and sawmill worker Anton Crowley have been friends since childhood. The Great War rages over Europe and the Empire of Russia is in the firm grip of a revolution. The echoes of these fateful events carry over to the Grand Duchy of Finland, vaguely sauntering towards independence. Azirafel and Crowley find themselves on the opposite sides of a conflict that will eventually lead to a bitter civil war, tearing the country apart.

Is there a possibility for them to find their own side, or will this be the end of their budding love story?

I started writing the third part in January, and finished it just before S2 aired in July. It finished posting in October, and it's now complete and done, though I'm still commissioning art for it. This story took over my life for over two years, and it's my baby. I've had such a hard time to let go of it! It also has its own blog @be-still-my-soul-fanfic where I posted dozens of posts about historical and cultural facts. The story is written in a way you don't need to know anything of the Finnish history beforehand (my American betas made sure of that). It's a lovestory, not a history lesson, BUT if you want to learn more, there's a lot of extra info available 😅

I think it's the best story I've ever written (and probably ever will). Many readers have agreed, but it's angsty with very heavy themes until the happy ending, so it's not for everyone and I think posting it just when S2 aired cut some of the potential readers. The third part of the trilogy is now five kudos shy of 100 kudos, and I'm hoping it could get past that milestone before new years. 😂 So yeah, my own personal favourite gets the least interaction of them all. Oh well.

I'm gonna sound a bit self-absorbed, but I'm proud I finished it and it turned out even better than I hoped. My dream would be to print a physical copy or to record a podfic of that, but both might be a bit too much work.

For the next year I have two zine fics to finish, and I have applied to a third one. I have one event fic in the works as well, but the FTH story will be the one I'll concentrate until it's done. It's an oneshot human AU which somehow grew limbs and now it's 7.6k words and nowhere near done 😱 That's my holiday project.

Thank you for asking!! I was so delighted to get a chance to ramble myself 🧡 There's never enough chances for writers to gush about their own work because it always feels a bit self centered. That's why I like to wander around Tumblr and give people the perfect excuse to do that! Peek at the #writer's favourites tag if you want to see other fanfic writers sharing their favourites! And feel free to use the tag yourself if I forgot to ask someone (I was very much not organised when going through the blogs and I'm not good at matching blog names with writer names 😅)

I hope you'll have a magnificent new year 🧡

[manonamora-if]

Retrospective 2024 (4)

Last one!

As teased in the infographic, My resolution this year stays unchanged from last year's:

Get things off my desk and shelf it for good.

I want to continue completing and fixing older projects, so I can shelf it for good (like I did Goncharov Escapes! this year, and DOL-OS). But, since I added a bunch of title on my itch page, there are a few more to the pile compared to last year that needs fixing (or finishing) - at least DOL-OS is done :D The goal: Harcourt (MelS want to finish it, but it's still him dependent), The Roads not Taken (I dropped the ball on that one at the end of last year), An Eggcellent Preparation (samesies), and Exquisite Cadaver or P-Rix - Space Trucker.

I won't even try to promise I won't make new games (large or tiny), because last year made it obvious there is no stopping me. I planned last year to participate in a few comps... and ended up doing two dozens. So... At least, I won't participate in the big comps (IFComp/SpringThing) because the ideas I have for them need at least another year to make it happen... I do want to try to make it to one parser-focused comp again (either TALJ or ParserComp) and try out Moiki or DonjonFI. I'm only 7-9 games away to have 1 title/year alive...

Below the cut has more detailed expectations for some titles. Like last year, no real timeline on what will be done when - this year has shown me that life likes to throw stones at schedules... Announcements will also be whenever, because I make things on a whim :P I will try to have a better announcement schedule for updates however.

Oh! one more resolution: continue to do word crimes ~ obviously!

The trials and Tribulations of Edward Harcourt

While I've been working on the final edits of Chapter 5, MelS promised to be hard at work on Chapter 6 this following semester, which is the final chapter. From mid-January onward, he should have a clearer schedule IRL to set himself some time to write.

We hope to be done with the edits and coding of Ch6 this year.

When Ch6 is cleared, we will do one final sweep at the earlier chapters to ensure the writing style is consistent, rebalance variables and puzzles, as well as making it compatible with as many screens as possible (especially for maps). Solutions for puzzles (mazes and such) will get a special log on itch too.

La Petite Mort

The game is "technically" complete already, but I spotted a few typos here and there that could be taken out, one theme is eh... really not as pretty as I had wanted it (the "PJ theme"), and I've been wondering if I could add a few more rooms or interactions (with the animals especially).

I'm aiming for a March-April update. Though it should have been done last November already...

The Roads not Taken

I've mentioned my plan for this project the past few months (before I got distracted with other projects), which is to fix the parser mechanic (to follow a bit more the conventions and fix the frictions of the game), include the missing content from the SpringThing version (Codex and Endings), and potentially have a hypertext version (links to click) for accessibility.

I would like to be done with this before summer at the latest - by March at the earliest.

Entre-d'oeufs coquilles - An Eggscellent Preparation

A bug or two needs fixing in this game (the AEP version) - how the box is used/eggs are handled -> for the ending - as well as a bunch of typos (a small re-write may be needed).

As AEP is the most recent version, with more content, I will need to translate the updated/fixed version back to French (EdOC).

I would also like to include more pixel art for each "room". I do not know yet I would manage that, but we will see!

I think there isn't much to fix that an update before the summer could be doable.

Exquisite Cadaver

That ball-n-chain project that's been dragged around for the past year, poor game... At least, I've given up on a French version.

The same amount of rounds is missing from the playable version (21), with no real progress made last year. All rounds are at least drafted in some fashion, though not all the endings are.

A sane planning for this would be to do an update every 3-4 rounds until the game is complete. I will try to achieve this.

If I could reach the half-way mark by the summer and complete the game by the end of the year, this would be great!

P-Rix - Space Trucker

This game can't stay in this current state! I have a rough draft of the mechanic and enough bits of writing to make a coherent update with some touch-up. I know how to end the game (the "good" ending), with even an option for further "storylines" after that first delivery is complete. I even have the "stops" on planets or ships all clear in my head (RNG babyyy).

I will probably focus on this project in the second half of 2024.

Crimson Rose & White Lily

With the hiatus getting closer to a two-year one... an update is long overdue. I may break an update in multiple ones:

fixing the main story code

adding Scene 5 (needs to be written properly)

adding Scene 2 variation

fixing the Codex

including Bonus content (may be a separate "game")

I would like to have the first point done in the first half of the year, and the second... well in the second half. If the Muse is in my corner it might happen sooner, but she hasn't been here all last year, so who knows at this point...

I miss writing Razac y'all...

SugarCube Templates

Even if I've done all the "coding" templates I had wanted to do for a while, I have a handful more visual templates in my drafts (different shapes!).

Having tried all "main" Twine formats, I've been itching at making templates for Harlowe and Chapbook. Either doing a Harlowe/Chapbook version of the template already done, or just making completely new one.

Expect some to be added to itch (when I get bored/frustrated with my projects).

Other projects

If there is time/energy left in me, I would like to take a crack at:

Finishing The Dinner, with all the remaining courses and the planned final choice. Also styling it in Harlowe properly.

Finishing the OG planned story for In the Blink of an Eye, which was supposed to last "a week" in the story (instead of 2 days) and have more consequences/endings.

Finishing The Rye in the Dark City, which is missing 2 acts: the interrogation of the different peeps and the "closing" the case. A bit of re-write in the first act might be needed.

Finishing Don't Press the Button (not really IF). I want to make it work in both keyboard and mouse... If I can manage it, then it's just a matter of moving the element around the page, changing colour, and randomise whether to click or not. JavaScript/jQuery is required however ;-;

Fixing The Thick Table Tavern: first the bar (group bottles, add new ones + new recipes), then the Arcade Mode (there's a bug I've been meaning to fix for one mode + add difficulty), then the Story Mode (essentially do a re-haul + add more storylets + the main client(s) of the run).

Remastering SPS Iron Hammer - a.k.a. re-writing it, adding the whole escape mechanic, re-coding the whole thing...

I don't think I would be able to do ALL of this - with the amount of time/effort some of these projects would required, it would probably be impossible by myself. And I should probably focus on CRWL instead if I have time/effort left 😂

Other... other

I'm going to continue organising small comps and jams this year, both with @seedcomp-if (which will run all year now - 8 months of Planting, 3 months of Sprouting, 1 month of voting), and @neointeractives (8-10 jams/year).

I will probably participate in a handful of the jams I've either organised, or small program-focused jams (like with ink/bitsy), but avoid the "big" ones this year (even if the SpringThing was fun!). There are also a handful of other jams I've had my eyes on, so we will see if I can manage... Expect more short silliness on this side.

A thing I will continue doing will be playing IF games still. I have 15 games left in the IFComp (with one being an absolute beast) and want to take a crack at old comp entries (IFComp, SpringThing, and the others), especially the French ones. Reviewing takes a while, but it's a good practice to think about the positives and negative of games - and take these lessons for my own projects. Expect more at @manonamora-if-reviews (or on the IFDB).

Aaaaannnnd that's it!

That's more than enough to keep me entertained for this year. ... which may potentially be the last one in a while where I will have any free time. I am certain of one thing for next year (2025): there will be a lot of change happening IRL, which will for sure mean less time to do any fun thing (not just making IF). Probably long periods of time where I will be completely offline too. This year might be the last where I have a consistent presence online. I really want to make the most of it!

[chellyfishing]

apparently i have read seven books already this year, mostly because i have been too tired to do basically anything else (plus january is typically a strong reading month for me, for whatever reason). anyway that sounds like a little more than it is, since two were finishing up my locked tomb reread and two were under 100 pages (poems and essays by mary oliver and, uh, bunnicula, which i read while lying in the tub at 4 am trying to manage pain). the first non-locked tomb book i read was a far wilder magic, which is actually a book i have a LOT of thoughts on that i might get into eventually (still loved it tho! love allison saft’s prose!!) but mostly i wanted to tell you about the two romcoms i read!

i’m really so pleased with both of these books because they are apparently the first romance books i’ve ever given 5/5 stars too (unless you count kings rising, but that’s literally the only other one). i did notice that both of these are ya, which means there’s no sex in either, not even a fade to black, it just doesn’t happen over the course of the story, and i genuinely don’t know if that played a role. i kinda don’t think it did, bc my next-favorite romance book, all the feels, does have graphic sex scenes, but the reason i rated it a little below 5 had more to do with some of the writing choices in other places. SO i dunno! just something to ponder. onto the books!

the first is highly suspicious and unfairly cute by talia hibbert. this is actually my first talia hibbert, who has written a bunch of really well-loved adult romances. i’m looking forward to reading more from here because i loved her writing! it’s so full of charm and personality and literal lols. it doesn’t get boring because the narrative voice(s) are so engaging. the characters are so good in this. the main male character, brad, is also important to me because he’s very casually bisexual and also has OCD (i don’t have OCD but i have fifty other anxiety disorders in a trenchcoat and am somewhat OCD-adjacent, so a lot of his worries and intrusive thoughts really hit!). and our female lead, celine, is a fat girl, but that never ever ever comes up as a pejorative. brad constantly remarks on how beautiful she is and celine herself has a frankly enviable amount of self-confidence. and of course, both of them are black, as seen on the cover. this book truly is unfairly cute. i was rooting for the couple but i was also rooting for all the little friendships they made along the way. just a really good time.

the second one was the borrow-a-boyfriend club by page powars. this book is very ouran-coded, in that our main boy sort of accidentally joins what it is not called but very clearly is a high school host club. the boys are even sorted by Type with a capital T. more importantly this book is the purest definition of trans and queer joy. our boy noah is doing his best to “prove” he’s a boy at his new school to avoid all the little “accidents” and “slip-ups” that drove him from his last school, and it is sad to see him struggle to feel confident in his identity, but the more he’s affirmed the more his joy comes through. he’s got a very dogged personality that is so endearing. genuinely just a very lovable main character to follow. i would have liked to get to know the other characters in the club a little more but this is a pretty short book (under 300 pages) and i feel like for the length of the book we actually do get a pretty good amount of them. and they were lovable too! every time they were nice to noah and he became more embedded in this little friend group/family the happier i felt. our love interest is an absolute disaster but it was in such a quintessentially teenage boy way, especially given his upbringing. such a fun, funny (so many more literal lols) little story about male friendship and queerness and transness and boys and happiness. honestly if “ouran but in ann arbor and haruhi is actually a trans boy” sounds like a good time, do not hesitate!!

[lavenderandlaurel]

year in progress: january

january was rough, ngl. as usual I have taken on too many responsibilities in addition to work and I really felt it towards the end of this month. really really hoping things will settle down after two particular side projects are done, and to that end I finished drafts of both things which I now need to edit and send out. trying, as much as possible, not to let my anxiety/guilt about being or feeling behind get in the way of, yknow, actually doing the things.

I also really felt the lack of in-person community I have out here. I've been here not quite three months, and I know these things take (a lot of) time, but a lot of the attempts I made to meet people were somewhat less than successful. (synagogue: no one is my age and everyone wants to talk about how rabidly pro-israel they are all the time! book club: rancid vibes! chinese club: first time was great but the second week was exclusively assholes! meetup dinners: relentlessly heteronormative) I'm celebrating the fact that I gave these things a try, though, and I will give them all a few more chances before I reevaluate.

work-wise, I am mostly manufacturing my own stress. I continue to be amazed with how chill my coworkers are (at least in my department) and how...not-evil management is. part of it is the shift to nonprofit from corporate, but that's definitely not the only thing. I can see myself being at this job a long time if I can just figure out how to live here (just that). having a car will make that easier, but I made zero progress saving for that this month because of stupid external circumstances that are hopefully resolved.

some good things this month:

watched (and rewatched, lol) the bear, which is such excellent catharsis and chicago nostalgia

started a couch-to-barbell program and went to the bouldering gym several times. getting closer to my pre-move climbing levels (moving from v2s to v3s)

got approval and funding to go to my field's big conference

wrote a fair amount, including work on a WIP I've had since december 2022

cooked some delicious new stuff!

made plans to take an actual, real vacation in march

rediscovered some great albums that have been my soundtrack of late: ezra furman's perpetual motion people, sufjan steven's illinois, cheekface's emphatically no., the mountain goats' getting into knives, and vampire weekend's contra

[linguenuvolose]

2024 goals - January progress

Looking back I've honestly been doing super well with my goals this month! I'm very proud! It's small steps but they are making me feel good and like I prioritize things that I value which ultimately is what I want. I've been feeling calmer in life this month, that the avalanche of life changes is slowing dow finally which feels so good! I have however also had a lot of doubts and sadness and stress so it's a lot of both. Currently I'm feeling scarred but happy but stressed but calm. All over the place insomma.

Goals progress under the cut because if there's one thing my linguist ass likes to do it's saying words.

Get back into a reading routine

I have read a bit this month but nothing extraordinary. I don't know if I should do some kind of discipline thing like I have to read on my way to work every day for a week, just to see what happens. I think that could work because I do enjoy reading but I fall out of habit with it.

Meet friends at least once a month (= get better at reaching out, would be cool to reach out to people I never really knew but always found cool too!)

I've honestly hung out with a lot of friends! One I reached out to and it was so nice to catch up and it felt normal and like no time had passed. He also said he was happy I had reached out and that we should try to meet again soon. I got to meet one of my boyfriend's friends and she was super cool and fun! And then I was invited to a birthday party with some friends that I hadn't seen since summer. It was good to reconnect with them and it feels like it makes the first step to reaching out to them again less daunting. I was also very proud of myself because I managed to buy a gift without freaking out which is a huge thing for me! I also already have 2-3 hangouts planned for February. I want to be careful though to not plan too much because I kinda did this time last year and it sent me into a panic so I have to balance just chilling some weekends too.

Do the damn exercises for my back :( (possibly start going to the gym or join a sport of some kind (I would love to do salsa or boxing))

I haven't been great at doing my exercises at all (I've done them maybe 2-3 times all month...) and my back has been hurting more/in a different way so I should get on that. I've gone to two salsa classes so far though! I'm so happy I signed up for the course! I don't know that it's necessarily doing anything for my back but I get to move one hour a week. I'm trying actively to have fun and enjoy moving my body so it's nice! I do think group classes are good for me. Like if I would've been like let me start going to the gym I'm not convinced that I would do it consistently. I'm thinking maybe I should find some other class once this salsa one is over..?

Get better at Portuguese (I find it so difficult to define a level because what is my level now even?)

I haven't worked super hard on this but I listened to a few episodes of Respondendo em voz alta one week. I also searched for some kinda indie music and made a playlist. I think I did some Duolingo but now I've downloaded Busuu again so I'm working through that again. I actually finished that whole course when I kinda speedran in back in August but there are so many things I don't remember so I want to do it more properly now. I want to find a way to practice what I learn better so that I actually retain it but it's difficult.

Get my license (my permit expires in a year so I kinda have to)

I had one lesson.... It went super well and it felt good but it's kinda just the thing of finding available times. For February a goal is to make my boyfriend do the course thing so I can drive with him. I should also start studying the theory honestly. It's time I think

Get back into the habit of going on walks

I went for one walk last Saturday when the weather was beautiful! This goal I think is honestly more of a "how many hours of sun is there in a day" than anything else. Of course I don't feel tempted to go for a walk in my low-key unsafe neighborhood at 8 pm when it has been dark for 4 hours and it's -5 c you know.

Go to the theatre more (youth discount my beloved) and also to some museums!

I haven't but I started following some theaters and museums on Instagram to keep a bit more up to date with their program and hopefully get inspired to go to stuff that interest me! I did go to a poetry event, a concert and a movie so I got some culture!

Improve my sleeping schedule

I've added this goal later because like second week of the year I said to myself it's not cute to always sleep too little anymore. And then I kinda just... had a mindset change, said to myself girl you should start going to bed earlier and now I sometimes do. Which is huge compared to before. I've noticed that often if I start preparing for bed earlier I expand the time and like start cleaning the kitchen and stuff so I don't necessarily sleep earlier but I think it's still good I start slowing down and rewind earlier. I still never ever sleep 8 hours on a workday but maybe bit by bit I will get there.

[hannaswritingblog]

'Not the One' | Gotham ficlet

Requested by anon [x/x] | requests are open!

Word count: 1.1k

Also available on AO3 [here]

Summary: Even though you come from completely different worlds, you were noticed but Bruce Wayne and asked to be his girlfriend. When you're at your happiest, things take a bitter turn after you get stood up on a date.

A/N: I know, I know. I kept everyone waiting awfully long. This one was sitting on my to-do list since the end of January and a lot has happened since then, but it doesn't really justify the wait. I absolutely love how patient the person requesting was and I hope I was able to make it up to you with this finished work.

It’s one of the weirdest feelings in the world when you’ve known someone for what feels like forever only to realize they’re a complete stranger, the stranger that they’ve always been, a person you don’t know at all.

It becomes even worse when you get stood up on a date, which is definitely a hard pill to swallow on its own, by the very same person. The trust that you were starting to build turns to dust within seconds.

Being a citizen of Gotham by birth, you’ve been hearing about the Wayne family since you can remember. This also meant recognizing Bruce, noticing him when he accompanied his parents during public events, instantly knowing who he was when you happened to pass him on the street.

Beyond the rare occasions when you passed each other in public while growing up, you’ve never really had a chance to get to know Bruce better. It probably shouldn’t surprise you, after all your family wasn’t a part of the same circles as the Waynes. Everything changed when both you and Bruce became frequent visitors to the Sirens nightclub.

It was never really clear why he turned his attention to you specifically, but you definitely felt flattered when Bruce Wayne himself asked if you’d agree to be his girlfriend. You had no idea why he would want you specifically to be his partner, but any doubts that could come with it weren’t strong enough to beat how flattered and excited you were. Even if you’ve never really strived to go up in the city hierarchy, you just couldn’t pass up this one chance.

Accepting Bruce’s courtship turns out to be a good decision as you quickly build what seems like a deep bond. It’s harder and harder to go even a day without seeing him and you feel more and more free to be yourself with him.

This was meant to be one of your ‘special’ meetings. You often go out to crowded places like clubs, but sometimes you also see each other one on one, and this was supposed to be one of the latter. Bruce has chosen a fancy restaurant you’ve never been to before; you two decided to meet at your destination and take your date from there.

You’ve been awfully long before realizing Bruce probably won’t show up at all. Showing up early yourself didn’t help, although it’s something you could blame the long wait on, but when you look at your watch and see it’s already 6:35 and you were supposed to meet at 6:00, you know it’s not worth your time anymore.

Mad at both Bruce for playing you and yourself for trusting him, you decide to spend a fun evening anyway, even if only by yourself. You opt for the safe option: the Sirens. You don’t know too many other places anyway (besides the places Bruce introduced you to and where you don’t always feel like you belong), while spending some good time there is a sure thing.

Your attitude changes the second you enter the club. It’s painfully obvious there is one person in there that managed to make themself a center of attention and it doesn’t take long to notice that this person is the boy that was supposed to meet you earlier, the one and only Bruce Wayne.

You spot him in the middle of a crowd on the dance floor, with a drink in his hand. Without hesitation, you approach him and ask:

‘What are you doing here?’

For a split second Bruce seems surprised to see you, but he quickly regains his cool.

‘No, what are you doing here?’ he asks back.

‘Trying to have fun on this beautiful evening, after my boyfriend decided to stand me up.’

You get interrupted by a girl approaching Bruce. She leaves a kiss on his lips, which he returns. You can’t help but let out a grunt of disgust and roll your eyes.

‘Hey, who is she?’ she asks him, pointing at you.

‘Oh, it’s no one, sweetie.’

It’s slowly starting to be too much for you. You scoff and turn around, trying to walk away from the conversation. At the exit Bruce catches up with you and says:

‘Why do you have to make a scene, Y/N? Get over yourself.’

‘Oh, I need to get over myself? You could’ve just been honest with me if you wanted to avoid a scene, instead of leading me on, making me feel I’m special.’

‘Look around, Y/N. Did you really think you’re special to me? With all those girls I can have… maybe you’re just not the one I want to be seeing right now.’

‘Yeah. And you’re not the one I want to waste my time on.’

You know your comeback probably didn’t do him much harm. You’re not there to see his reaction – you immediately turn around and leave the club – but you can clearly visualize how he shrugs his shoulders and goes back to his friends and his new girlfriend.

You stop right outside the club to take a deep breath and calm down a bit. It takes you a moment to realize someone has followed you out of the Sirens. When you turn around, you see Selina Kyle, one of the club co-owners and, as you have always suspected, Bruce’s friend.

‘It’s okay, you probably won’t see me here anymore,’ you say, annoyed and sure she wanted to ask you not to come back to the club after the fuss you made.

‘No, no! I didn’t mean to make you think that. You’re always welcome here. I just want to talk.’

You stop in your tracks. You must admit, this is the only thing that crosses your mind.

‘Oh. So, what do you want to talk about?’

‘Sorry for asking, but… are you the girl Bruce was supposed to meet tonight?’

‘Yes, it must be me. How do you know he was supposed to meet anyone?’

‘I might have overheard him brag about it. Don’t worry too much about what happened though. It’s not really him.’

‘What do you mean it’s not him?’

‘I don’t know,’ she says with a shrug, ‘but he’s been like that for a while and it just… doesn’t feel like him. And I’ve been by his side for quite some time now, so I think I know what I’m talking about. Maybe it’ll pass.’

‘Sure,’ you respond, wiping a single tear from your cheek. ‘Thank you.’

‘Of course.’

She disappears inside the club and you start walking home, trying to forget about Bruce and whatever was between you. It’s going to be a long process, of course, you know that very well, but since there’s nothing more to come out of your relationship, you might as well try.

[aliteraryprincess]

February 2023 Wrap Up

God this month has been awful. I had my qualifying exam (take two), so I basically just wasn’t able to do anything else. Barely any reading, barely any blogging, barely any YouTube videos. Honestly, I’m shocked I actually managed one thing in each category. But I’ve passed, and I never have to do that awfulness again. And now I’m officially a PhD candidate! (as opposed to a student). And I get a raise!

Books Read: 4

I finally finished Jane Eyre. How this reread took a month is beyond me. But naturally it was my favorite. For new reads, my favorite is Snow & Rose, which was a lovely retelling of “Snow White and Rose Red.” And all of the books I read were good, so there are no least favorites. Thank goodness. I don’t think I could stand a month where I barely got to read AND some of the books were crap. Starred titles are audiobooks and ones marked with ® are rereads.

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Brontë - 5 stars ® 

Frankenstein by Mary Shelley - 4 stars ® 

Snow & Rose by Emily Winfield Martin - 4 stars

Nocturne by Alyssa Wees - 4 stars   

On Tumblr:

At least I managed to post a quote and a list?

January 2023 Wrap Up

Book Quotes: Snow & Rose by Emily Winfield Martin

aliteraryprincess’ Book Chain

On the Blog:

There’s one review here, and you know what, that’s better than about half of last year. So I’ll take it.

Book Review: Nocturne by Alyssa Wees

On YouTube:

And for the first time since I started my channel, I just haven’t posted many videos. I’ve been too exhausted and stressed to film. Hopefully that will change in March. 

January Wrap Up - 5 books!

Bookshelf Tour: General Fiction & Poetry

[ben-learns-smth]

(telling people to answer their own questions is such a fun idea and I might steal it tbh) anyway! How about questions 2 (I re-read so much compared to the total number of books I read because the brain likes familiarity, what can you do), 4 (I guess I'm kind of discovering E.M. Forster right now (who never came up in my entire English degree??), but most of the books were by authors I already knew) and 14?

2) did you reread anything? what?

the lady astronaut series, priory of the orange tree for funsies & technically the bone season (but idk if I count the revised anniversay edition as a reread) ! I'm a bit surprised, usually I also reread a lot, at least one or two faves for emotional support. I still count a book for my reading goal as long as it's been at least 1 year since I read it last

4) Did you discover any new authors that you love this year?

I found lots of new authors and will make sure to check out any new releases to see if they're one hit wonders for me or if I want to find more! a lot of it was debut stuff though so I gotta be patient...

two authors whose work I looked for a bit more already are biba oskar nass for german poetry & essays and daniel schreiber for german literary essays

14) what books do you want to finish before the year is over?

my current read alte sorten (halfway through, I definitely will manage that thanks to my commute) and as many of my physical tbr shelf as possible before I have to switch to ebooks after my top surgery in january (apparently holding a book and turning pages is hard in the first weeks of recovery </3). funnily enough most of those are about trans and (gender)queer topics: pageboy (elliot page), before we were trans (kit heyam), to be seen - queer lives 1900-1950

[liu-anhuaming]

2022 Reading Recap and 2023 Reading Goals

Happy New Year y’all! I love collecting little stats about my reading through the year, so I wanted to actually take those data and make a post, since I don’t talk too much about my general reading outside of how many Chinese books I’ve read.

So let’s get started!

2022 In Review

2022 was a great year in terms of reading. Last month I shared a not-yet complete journal spread where I made charts of all my reading stats, so first here’s the finished version:

Now, to write out the important bits for those of you who don’t want to zoom in and try to parse my handwriting.

My reading goal for 2022 was 50 books. I read 75 books in total. 40 of those were in English, and 35 were in Chinese. I read the most books in May (14, mostly manga iirc), and the least in October (2). I averaged about 6 books per month.

I read a total of 21,849 pages. I read the most pages in January (3,208) and, once again, the least in October (511). That’s an average of 1,821 pages per month. The books I read averaged about 291 pages each.

My average rating was 3.75 stars. I had 14 books rated 5 stars, but my most common rating was 4 stars (I gave 45 books 4 stars last year). I had no 1 star reads, only two 2 star reads, and just nine 3 star reads. There were 5 books I didn’t rate for various reasons. The fact that I had so many 4 and 5 star reviews tells me I managed to read a lot of books I really enjoyed this year.

2023 Goals

So I’ve set a couple pretty basic, loose reading goals for this new year. Here’s what they are:

Read at least 60 books total: For the past few years, my reading goal has been a consistent 50 books, but I want to raise it this year. In 2021 I read 59 books, and last year I read 75, so I think I shouldn’t struggle too hard to reach this new goal.

Read at least 20 Chinese books: I actually read over 30 Chinese books last year, so this goal of 20 should be fairly easy to achieve. However, I do want to make this a fairly easy goal for me to reach, because I do have a rather horrific number of unread English books on my shelves, and I would like to dedicate some more time to working through those. So, I’m going to aim low on the off chance that I end up spending more time with English books in 2023.

Read more nonfiction: Pretty self-explanatory. It is only in recent years that I’ve started to read more nonfiction, and I’ve been trying to change that. I’ve got a couple excellent candidates on my shelves, so hopefully this one won’t be too hard.

Get back into audiobooks: in 2021 I spent a lot of time listening to audiobooks as I did embroidery, but I sort of fell out of that habit this past year. I want to change that. I have the Libby app on my phone, but I need to get my library card sorted out so I can access it again. 

Read the brick that is Les Miserables, and the much less substantial Moby Dick: I’ve been playing with the idea of reading these two books for a while, but I never actually did it. For Les Mis, I didn’t have any particular reason for not reading it. I just never got around to it I guess. As for Moby Dick, my brother suggested it to me, and ever since that one time he said a book I recommended to him “wasn’t real literature” (yes he’s an English major) I refuse to take book recs from him seriously (yes I know this is slightly petty). But then! I was browsing reviews of Moby Dick and saw a particularly amusing one-star review, and decided that I would, in fact, like to give it a try.

That’s all I’ve got in terms of goals, so here’s to another year of excellent books!

[parcequecestnotreprojeeeet]

Hi, it’s me, Fanfic Anon #2. After the comment from the Anon about Manette earlier, and thinking still about all their interviews at the beginning of January, I wrote this piece.

She smiled softly when she saw him standing off to the side of his office, staring out the window after the interview. She knew he wasn’t as okay as he seemed afterwards, knew her sensitive husband, contrary to popular belief, felt things very deeply, especially when it comes to the people he loves.

She knew the answer to what his biggest fear was before the man had even finished asking him the question, after all, she still remembers how inconsolable he was for weeks after his beloved grandmother passed. She was at a loss for what to do, she had never seen another human being in that much pain. She felt like her heart had been torn in two just watching him grieve.

So she wasn’t surprised when he teared up when they asked if he still missed her - of course he did, every single day. That kind of loss doesn’t just go away, a fact she knew first hand probably better than most, the loss of her sister and her family, her niece, her parents, her brother - they all left holes in her heart too. Just like Manette did.

She owed that woman a lot - not just for accepting her and loving her when it seemed like no one else in the world did, but for everything she did to raise her beloved husband. Unlike a lot of women who were threatened by the other important female figures in their partner’s lives, the female parental figures, especially when that partner would spend hours on the phone with them every night before joining them in bed, Brigitte only ever felt gratitude for Manette. And now, a grandmother herself, she understood deeply what that bond was, what it meant. Truth be told, a small part of her hoped that her grandchildren would think and speak as fondly of their Mamie one day as her husband still speaks about his Manette.

Walking into the room, she softly mused, "she would be so proud of you, mon cœur."

"How did you know I was thinking about her?" he asked, slightly stunned.

"You forget how well I know you. How long I’ve known you."

"Mhmm," he hummed non-committally in response.

"Wherever she is right now, I know she’s been watching you closely, cheering you on every step of the way," she smiled as she looped her arms around his waist, resting her head on his shoulder since he hadn’t turned around.

"Well how many people get to say their grandkid is the President?"

"That’s not why, and you know it," she rebuked lightly. "Although, of course she’s proud you’re here in this office, proud of what you’ve done for this country, what you have done for the world, what you will continue to do.

"But what I know she’s proudest of is the man that you’ve become. How you are so wise, and kind, and loving; how you are the best husband, father, grandfather to our family; how you are the best friend I could have ever hoped to have had; how you have never lost who you are despite everything around you that could cause just that.

"You know, she always told me, ‘Brigitte, he’s going to be something special one day.’ And I would laugh and then agree with her, before she would say ‘but you know that won’t change anything.’ And it hasn’t."

"You’ve never told me that."

"There’s a lot she told me I haven’t told you," she told him, before laughing at the speed he turned around to look at her. "Just like there were things she told you that you’ve never told me. She was so kind to me, she loved me as if I was one of her own - and I’ve never forgotten that."

"She did love you, Brigitte. She told me once I had finally introduced you two, ‘you’re right, Manu. She is special.’ She had never called anyone special before."

"I’m just glad she accepted me, I know she was your red line like my children were mine -"

"I never had any doubts about it," he smiled before saying more seriously, "she’d be really proud of you too. Everything you’ve done -"

"She’d mainly be happy I manage to keep you fed and on a somewhat normal sleep schedule," she demurred.

"Chérie, do I really need to have this conversation with you again? You’re extraordinary. What you have done as a teacher, as a Premiere Dame, as head of these charities - there’s no one else on this Earth like you."

"How did I get so lucky?" she asked, bring her hand up to slowly stroke his face.

"I don’t know. I ask myself that question every day." They stood there for a moment in the silence, taking in each other’s company as they both were in their own thoughts before he continued, "thank you. I think I needed to hear that today."

She kissed him softly, lovingly in reply.

Hellooo fanfic Anon #2! ❤️

I actually think about this quite often... how she never got to see her grandkid become president. How proud she would be of him. How happy he would be to have her by his side on such important day. But unfortunately, that’s just how life works. And she’s still there every day with him, on his heart. So yes, this one really touched me ❤️

Thank you so much, Fanfic Anon #2! ❤️❤️❤️

[keikigoodbetter]

....howdy, everyone! Looooong time no see 😅😅

I’m sitting in my room right now, waiting as a friend drives over to spend the last few hours of 2022 with me, and I thought I’d try to put down a few of my thoughts as I reflect on the year. It’s been a while since I checked in for real with y’all and for that I am very sorry. (fwiw I dropped contact with quite a few folks irl too, so it wasn’t just you lol)

2022 repeatedly hit my blindside and hit it HARD. I spent a lot of the year in reaction-mode as surprises both good and bad kept coming at me fast; this year had some of the worst lows of my life, but also some of the best highs. It was overwhelming, to say the least.

At the risk of being too personal, here’s an overview of some of My Notable 2022 Moments:

Start the year about 8 months into a really good headspace, to the point where my psychiatrist agrees that if I’m still A-ok by springtime then I can likely step off my antidepressants!!

Help move my Grandma out of her home and into a memory care facility

Have surgery

May 7: Go dancing with friends I haven’t seen in years, to celebrate being alive and together and that I’ve finally finished my degree

May 10: Find out my parents have filed for divorce and will be selling my childhood home, that our family build by hand, by the end of the summer

May 14: GRADUATE COLLEGE!

May 15: One of my best friends goes in for surgery because her pain-management implant is no longer functional. There are complications and she needs 3 more surgeries before the month is over

Return to martial arts after years away

Help babysit the very sweet toddler-age child of someone I went to gradeschool with. (Have an existential breakdown about how old I suddenly am and how unlikely it is at this point that I’ll get to be a mom)

All summer: help clear out my Grandma’s things from her house, move my dad’s things to his new house, move the rest of our family’s things to my mom’s new house, and do repairs and cleaning at our old house

Have to start reminding myself again to get out of bed and eat and not walk into traffic

A best friend flies in from out-of-state to go with me to a disco night

See the Colorado Avalanche Stanley Cup Championship Parade!

Make a great costume and go to the Renaissance Festival in drag

Officially move out of our house; August and September are time soup

A friend from college that I’ve dearly missed moves back to Colorado

SEE MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE LIVE

My brother gets injured

Our house sells

TWO of my job applications that I was really excited for pan out and I’m asked to interview for both of them. The one I like better calls and offers me the position within 3 days! I’m going to start part-time at the local library in January!!! 😭😆

I spend an amazing afternoon with a friend on a maybe-a-date... 👀

I see many friends and family and have a wonderful holiday season

  ....Realize I might feel ok again soon

 (and, as usual, I also saw a lot of great concerts this year!)

....WHEW. Like I said, it was A Lot All The Time. Sorry to overshare 😅  but I just - idk - I feel like I need to write it down somewhere so there’s a record of all the shit that I experienced in the last 12 months. And I feel like some of you are my legit friends and might care about some of these developments? lol idk 😅 sorry if that’s presumptuous.

Anyways, all this to say that I know I’m not particularly an outlier and that most people have crazy things happen all the time. That’s life! But I hope that if you had a rough year (like me), that things turn around for you soon (also like me?). There is always the promise of something wonderful happening just as much as there is the risk of something terrible; and I think growing up is learning to balance the threat of those two extremes without falling down for too long when a new circumstance hits you.

I grew so much in the last year and for the first time in a long time I’m actually excited about what the future might look like for me! 2023 will be hard and full of new challenges, but I think I’ll be ok. And I think you all will be, too.

💖💖💖

All of my love, forever and ever,

C.