#being autistic is interesting

[archerbeans]

So, I finally watched the Archer finale..

WARNING. SPOILERS AHEAD FOR INTO THE COLD!!!

So, Archer has come to an end. Its a lot for me to process, this is a hard one for me, the past 6 months have been exclusively Archer for me, I've fallen so far for a fictional character. I'm going to try my absolute best to collect all of my thoughts in one post for this. I'll try not to spoiler too much. But I think this is necessary for me so I can help process this loss for me.

To say I'm happy is an understatement. I'm beyond relieved and grateful we got the proper Archer ending this show so badly deserved. The season 14 finale was a disgrace, and the way it could have ended would have been tragic. This show ending is tragic enough, but thats just my view on it. Hyperfixations are hard ya'll.

I think the way they ended the plot for this show was very cleverly done. While I don't think Adam Reed would have went in this direction, I'm still satisfied with what the writers did. Seeing everyone band together was wonderful, and there were a couple twists I wasn't expecting at all, but it goes without saying, nothing can be perfect.

Some initial thoughts, pros and cons if you may, but not really.

The growth the characters go through is really really cool to see, notably Archer. When he says he doesn't need to know who his father is, that's a huge milestone and a step towards some emotional maturity. Sterling has so much trauma and is overall a very impulsive character, but letting him have his moments of clarity is always nice to see. There is a good balance between his impulses and realizing that his actions have consequences. I don't think there was any way Slater could have been saved in the end anyways.

There was no main focus on any specific character. Every main reoccurring role in the show got their own moments in this finale, which I am super grateful for. Season 14 had a hard time dedicating specific episodes to certain characters like in the earlier seasons, so this finale did a great job at giving everyone a bit of spotlight.

Focusing on the main characters instead of random one off characters was super cool and something I appreciate as well. Katya, Barry, and Slater were all characters who made the biggest impacts on the show by far, not to mention they're also fan favourites. But seeing Rip Riley was super exciting as well!

The early season throwbacks!! In the elevator shaft you can see the old ISIS sign and an old Cherlene album :3 If there was anything else I probably missed it as there was a lot of clutter, but I always get so so excited when there's early season callbacks. It shows that's the writers really do care about these characters and their stories. I was happy to see Milton!! Milton supremacy!!

The ode to Malory was wonderful, I'm so so happy they did that. Lana's speech at the end was a good way to wrap everything up for the crew.

There isn't much to say negatively, these aren't necessarily things that make this finale bad, just things that made me sad and were a surprise to me that I'm not sure how I feel. This is completely opinion biased and you can disagree all you want!

Slater dying. I'm really sad that one of my favourites ended up dying. I loved the very erotic moments between Slater and Archer and their initial fight was really intense and fun. But seeing Slater die wasn't really all that satisfying for me, except it allowed Archer to grow more and let go of some of that trauma. RIP Slater </3 You were a son of a bitch

Morphing Barry and Katya.. This is a weird one for me. I'm not sure how I feel about this at all. I guess the only fun thing I can say about this is that we got some fun classic enemies to lovers. I dont particularly LOVE that trope, but with making Katya a antagonist, it was quite the choice.

The settings.. I think it was fitting to have some of the settings back in Russia, but Rio was quite the random choice. There was a lot going on and at one point I kind of got confused as to where everyone was at one point, in one scene they're at the Agency, the next they're in a safe house, the next they're in some other random area, that was a bit hard to follow, but a lot happened in an hour, and there was a lot going on. The title "Into the Cold" was clever. Also I hated the whole crypto thing. That genuinely felt like a cheap cop out for some plot holes. Cyril doesn't seem like the type of person to be interested in crypto as one would figure he'd be pretty knowledgeable on how that stuff is shitty. If Lana saw those mines you know she would lose her mind LOL

Overall, I am happy with how things were wrapped up. I was very worried near the end because we hadn't seen AJ at ALL, or had any mention of her, so seeing the scene at the end with her and Sterling made me really happy, knowing that Archer kept in contact with Lana but not anybody else really stung, but Sterling saying he "hates goodbyes" really stuck with me after this finale finished. Saying goodbye to this show is not easy whatsoever, I have such a strong connection with these characters and cast, and my love for Cheryl is eternal. Its hard for neurotypical people to fully understand, and this is a grieving process for me, but I have the support and friends to help me through this, and I will always have these guys around, since I can rewatch this show as many times as I want. I will continue to make content and hopefully start writing more maybe. This world is so expansive and so many things can be done as it falls on the line of realism, slice of life, and science fiction. I love everything this show had to offer, and I'm so grateful for the dedication and work that went into this show.

If you read this far for some reason, thanks for reading.

[xitsensunmoon]

My first ever comic con! And first cosplay too. Of course it's gonna be my boy :] Ramblings about the process are under the cut(Let me know if?? You would want me to elaborate with process images for any of the steps?)

The costume took me forever to make, as I've never done any machine sewing, sculpting, fabric dying or spray painting before but learning all of these was so fucking fun!! I never realised just how many different skills go into making a cosplay but it was so worth it!!!

Almost all of the clothes(except the hat) were purchased first as bases, but all of the detailing was added by me. All of the fabric used was originally just scraps that I was given for free so I needed to learn how to dye and dye all of the stars, they were originally white.

The sewing machine was its own beast that brought me tons of frustration from the lack of skill and knowledge (it was devastating to find out that 95% of fuck ups were my fault and not the machine's lmao). But as a result, a hat sewn from scratch, all of the fur trims, embroidery on the corset, stars and the collar(which is very hard to see on the pictures unfortunately) was all added manually. The stars and the stripes(on the back of the cape) were attached using heat-and-bond adhesive (I WISH I knew about such thing just when I started working on this. It would save me so much time and nerves.)

Then I found out about polymorph(mouldable plastic) and it has become the next thing I wanted to learn, to sculpt the claws and the fangs(yes, they're handmade jfksjs). The claws I then primed and painted in trillion coats because I wasn't satisfied with the colour of the spray paint. The fangs I moulded to my own teeth and then stained with tea to match the colour of my teeth :)c

As for makeup, I used Mehron Paradise water activated paints. At first I wanted to try to save money and bought myself Snazaroo instead, which unfortunately turned out to be a waste. Snazaroo didn't hold on my face for longer than 2 hours, cracking and peeling awfully. Mehron on the other hand survived 11 hours of me smiling, talking, emoting and such and didn't even crease at the smile lines(I'm actually shocked about that). It obviously works like any other makeup which means your skin texture and wrinkles won't go anywhere but Mehron's elasticity pleasantly surprised me. It did obviously smear from sweat and saliva(if you're eating and licking your lips) but if you don't touch the skin it just dries again, self setting. But if it's dry it's fully smear-proof. Highly recommend!

And last but not least, I've decided against painting my hands as it was very risky that I will stain everything I touch at the smallest hint of sweat. So instead I got myself gloves-tights(? Not sure how they're called but it's made from the same fabric as tights) and painted them with normal acrylic paint(did you know you could dye fabric with acrylic paint? I personally didn't), then heat set with an iron and voilà, they're reusable, my hands are not stained after an exhausting day and I don't stain everything I touch. It worked wonderfully which honestly was a surprise as I was really sceptical that acrylic paint will somehow stay in place.

I think this whole thing took me minimum of 6 months with big-big breaks for my school and life in general. But I'm really proud! This project taught me so many new skills and I couldn't have been happier about learning new knowledge, even if it sucked to fail in the meantime.

Everyone at the con was really nice and gave me a large confidence boost even tho it was my first time and I had no idea what I was doing. Taking photos with other people was really awkward/new for me as I hate cameras so I really had no idea how to pose/behave in front of one. But that's okay I think. This whole experience definitely made me want to do this again, so I think that will come with experience. Thank you for reading this far, hope you enjoyed this little summary :)

[ejbuckley]

i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again, being autistic is like playing a board game without knowing any of the rules.

[tam--lin]

The thing is, you don’t have to have a diagnoses to make simple “unmasking” changes that make your life easier. You don’t even have to self-diagnose! You are not appropriating anyone’s culture or struggles or hijacking anyone’s movement by allowing yourself to sway in line at the grocery store or buying a weighted blanket or using study or household hacks intended for people with ADHD. If you start favoring the needs that make your brain and body unique over the arbitrary norms of society, you’ll be better off, and you’ll be expanding the norms. It’s a win/win.

[catmask]

it is insane how normal i am medicated like. you mean this was an option the whole time. what

[finally-got-a-diagnosis]

Black Autistic Culture is people not believing you're autistic while also critiquing you on everything you said that was "disrespectful" and "rude" as well as telling you to learn how to talk right.

[flimsy-roost]

Falin Touden is an example of the manic pixie dreamgirlification of autistic girls

the same traits that made Shuro actively resent Laios (strength in noticing details, specific unusual interests, weak social skills, propensity to daydream/get lost in thought) made him fall in love with Falin because they were repackaged in a cute girl

[robininthewindow]

“Autistic sniper” “autistic engine”’”autistic medic” BIYCH THEYRE ALL AUTISTIC!!!!!

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Autistic and ‘Needing to be Right’

Neurodivergent_lou

[a-place-to-exist]

not all autistic behaviors need to be talked about as a problem but sometimes i do feel like my niche and restrained interests isolate me from the world. sometimes i do feel like it’s a problem. i’m not interested in the world around me. i only like and get excited about very specific things that i can’t share with everyone. it makes me sad

[fumifooms]

Kaka compilation

Because everyone is sleeping on him. Witness his greatness!! First two Kaka colored icons were colored by me, lineart by Ryoko Kui though!

Kaka & Kiki are kinda like Laios & Falin… Kaka being stoic and giving repressed energy like early Laios, Kiki being cryptic and always smiling and kinda soft-looking. Autism siblings 2, ostracized and othered as kids and have a deep bond due to sticking together through it all, though unlike with Laios their parents are very loving so Kaka developed family as a big value more than Laios (bc asides for Falin Laios doesn’t care much about it).

In the gnome festival comic you can see Kaka is more emotive than he seems! Full with a :3 face, and he’s the one crying at the end. He’s insecure about his legs and being tall… It really got to him. Conceal don’t feel. In the gnome festival comic you also see him sensing others’ gaze on him and that something is off unlike Kiki, again Laios-like in the way that judgement from others gets to him more than her.

[555bunnies]

Something about being a girl and a bunny and other related things

[riverrunscold]

Death Note plot really is just an autistic person who's constantly masking vs an autistic person who has never masked in his life

also ryuk's there

[dragonagitator]

We REALLY need more fanfics that explore this side of Gale.

But, like, in a smutty way.

Please.

[lord-squiggletits]

I think the key component to my personal reading of post-Delphi Pharma is that he's trying to be a horrible person on purpose. Not "on purpose" in the way that people have free will to exercise their own choices, but in that Pharma's "mad doctor" persona is a performance he puts on to deliberately embrace how much everyone else hates him. Basically, if people already think you're a "bad Autobot" and a horrible doctor who just kills his patients for fun, why try to prove otherwise to people who have already made up their minds about you? Just fully embrace the fact that people see you as an asshole. Don't try to change their minds. Don't plead for their forgiveness or understanding. Just stop caring. If you're going to be remembered as a monster, you might as well be a memorable monster, and eke as much pleasure and hedonism as you can out of it before karma catches up to you and you inevitably crash and burn.

I mean, I guess you could just go the route of "Oh, Pharma was always a fucked up creepy guy and Delphi was just him taking the mask off," but I really don't like that interpretation because, for one, it feels really wrong to take a character like Pharma becoming evil under duress and going, "Oh well clearly he did the things he did because he was evil all along," as if somehow Pharma breaking under blackmail/torture/threat of horrible death was a sign of him having poor moral character. As opposed to, you know, suffering under the very real threat of horrible death for himself and everyone he cares about while being manipulated by a guy who specializes in psychological torture.

The second reason is that it just doesn't make sense to write Pharma as having been evil all along. I mean...

Occam's Razor says that the best argument is the one with the simplest explanation. Doesn't it make way more sense to take Pharma's appearances in flashbacks, his friendship with Ratchet, his stunning medical accomplishments, and the few we see of him speaking kindly/sympathetically (or in the least charitable interpretation, at least professionally) towards his patients and conclude "This guy was just a normal person, if exceptionally talented." Taking all of these flashback appearances at face value and assuming Pharma was being genuine/honest is a way simpler and more logical explanation than trying to argue that Pharma for the past 4 million years was just faking being a good doctor/person. I mean, it's possible within the realm of headcanon, but the fact is Pharma's appearances in the story are so brief that there simply wasn't room in the story for there to be some sort of secret conspiracy/hidden manipulation behind why Pharma acted the way he did in the past.

I just can't help but look at things like Pharma's friendship with Ratchet (himself a good person and usually a fine judge of character) and the fact that even post-Delphi, pretty much every single mention of Pharma comes with some mention of "He was a good doctor for most of his life" or "He was making major headways in research [before he started killing patients]" which implies that even the Autobots themselves see Pharma's villainy as a recent turn in his life compared to how for "most of his life" he "used to be" a good doctor.

And although Pharma doesn't know this, we as the readers (and even other characters like Rung) know about Aequitas technology and the fact that it actually works, so... if Pharma really was an unrepentant murderer, why couldn't he get through the forcefield too? The Aequitas forcefield doesn't require that a person be completely morally pure and free of wrongdoing or else how could Tyrest get through, just that they feel a sense of inner peace and lack feelings of guilt. Pharma has murdered and tortured people by this point, and put on quite a campy and theatrical show of how much he sees it as a fun game, so why then can he not get through?

It circles back to my headcanon at the start of this post that the "mad doctor" persona is just that-- a persona. Delphi/post-Delphi Pharma's laughing madman personality is just so far removed from every flashback we saw of him and everything we can infer based on how other people see/saw him before that, to me, the mad doctor act is (at least in large part, if not fully) a persona that Pharma puts on to put his villainy in the forefront.

To avoid an overly simplistic/ableist take, I don't think Tarn tortured Pharma into turning crazy. To me, it's more like the constant pressure of death by horrific torture, the feeling of martyrdom as Pharma kept secret that he was the only one standing between Delphi and annihilation, the physical isolation of Messatine as well as the emotional separation from Ratchet, being forced to violate his medical oaths (pretty much the only thing Pharma's entire life has been about), etc. All of that combined traumatized Pharma to the point that the only way he could avoid cracking was to just stop caring about all of it. Because at least then, even if he's still murdering patients to save Delphi from a group of sadistic freaks, Pharma doesn't have to feel guilty and sick about doing it. As opposed to the alternatives, which were probably either going off the deep end and killing himself to escape, or confessing to what he did and getting jailed for it.

In that light, Pharma becoming a mad doctor makes sense. It avoids the bad writing tropes of "oh this character who was good his entire life was actually just evil and really good at hiding it" as well as "oh he got tortured and went crazy that's why he's so random and silly and killing people, he's crazy" and instead frames Pharma's evil as something he was forced into, to the point where in order to avoid a full psychological breakdown and keep defending Delphi, he just had to stop caring about the sanctity of life or about what other people might think of him.

Then, of course, the actual Delphi episode happens, and Pharma's own lifelong best friend Ratchet basically spits in his face and sees him as nothing more than a crazy murderer who went rogue from being a good Autobot. Then Pharma gets his hands cut off and left to die on Messatine. At that point, Pharma has not only been mentally/emotionally broken into losing his feelings of compassion, he's received the message loud and clear: He is alone. Everyone hates him. Not even his own best friend likes him any more. No one even cared enough about him to check if he actually died or not. He will only ever be remembered as a doctor who went insane and killed his patients.

So in the light of 1. Having all of your redeeming qualities be squeezed out of you one by one for the sake of survival and 2. Having your reputation and all of your positive relationships be destroyed and 3. People only know/care about you as "that doctor who became evil and killed his patients" rather than the millions of years of good service that came before.

What else is there to do but internalize the fact that you'll forever be seen as a monster and a freak, and embrace it? People already see you as a murderer for that blackmail deal you did, so why not become an actual murderer and just start killing people on a whim? People already see you as an irredeemable monster who puts a stain on the Autobot name, so why beg for their forgiveness when you could just shun them back? You've already become a murderer, a traitor, and a horrible doctor, so what's a few more evil acts added to the pile? It's not like anyone will ever forgive you or love you ever again.

Why care? Why try to hold on to your principles of compassion, kindness, medical ethics, when an entire lifetime of being a good person did nothing to save you from blackmail and then abandonment? Why put yourself through the emotional agony of feeling lonely, guilty, miserable, when you could just... stop caring, and not hurt any more?

[larphis]

As an adhd person I just want to say that I love every autistic person on this website.

You guys are literally the best fandom archivers out there. I’m so serious.

If you are new in just about any fandom search for the one autistic person whose special interest your newfound fandom is and it’ll be like you just met god at a nightclub.

You guys are too powerful and I thank you for your service from the bottom of my heart.