#belle was never abused once by the beast in the movie. he was really just a jerk

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

People who say that Beauty and the Beast (1991) endorses Stockholm Syndrome and domestic abuse have very grossly missed the entire point of the story.

[elsaismycat]

Descendants and Marauders

My sister just forced me to see all three descendants movies, which got me thinking about the marauders and gang, and who would be their disney parents. So here are my head canons:

(In descendants, all the villains have been banished to an Isle, the Isle of the lost, where all the villains and Villain Kids (VKs) now live. The good people live in Auradon, where Belle and the Beast have been voted king and queen over everyone. Their son, Ben, shall shortly take over as king, and as his first proclamation, four children of the Isle gets a chance to live in Auradon, away from their parents)

James - he would be the equivalent of Ben, meaning he would be the prince, later king, of Auradon. But instead of having Belle and the Beast as parents (and them being king and queen), it is Snow White and her prince that are the Queen and King of Auradon and James’ parents. James is the reason that the VKs (only two in the first round) are coming to Auradon, and he feels like they should all get second chances, as they are not their parents

Remus - son of Belle and the Beast. He has inherited some of his fathers characteristics, and therefore sometimes turns into a beast. Remus has a hard time dealing with this (as his father never becomes a beast anymore, and kind of resents Remus for the memories he brings up when he turns). Remus feels like he too should be banished to the Isle with the Villains.

Sirius - Child of Maleficent. Part of the first round of children leaving the Isle, leaves Regulus behind. Sirius becomes friends with James quickly, and James promises that Sirius will never have to go back to his parents. Falls in love with the mysterious boy Remus, and perhaps they can learn something from each other about good and evil. 

Peter - Fairy godmother’s son. Old friend with James, but feels left out when James creates new friends with the VKs. They are evil after all, and he is good. Should you really trust the kids of Villains? But he too, comes around, perhaps after he himself becomes a bit of a villain and realising that second chances are for everyone.

Lily - Child of Anna and Kristoff. Dates James briefly, before they both realise they are no good match. Looks up to her aunt, Elsa, a lot as a strong independent role model. After James, she has no wish to fall in love (but then she meets Mary...)

Marlene - Mulan’s daughter. She, James and Peter are childhood friends, and they got to know Lily and Remus in school. Is hesitant to the V.K. at first, just as Peter, but soon becomes good friends with both Sirius and Mary.

Mary - Queen of Hearts’ daughter and childhood friends with Sirius. People think they are dating. Joins him in being the first two VKs to leave the Isle. Just as Sirius she quickly befriends James and Lily, who are very kind, while it takes a while to befriend Marlene, but once they do, nothing can separate the new friends. She and Lily are friends to lovers.

Regulus - Is also the child of Maleficent. When Sirius leaves, Regulus feels left behind with their abusive parents. He gets the chance in the second round of VKs leaving the Isle, and while Sirius went to Auradon with the mindset of finding a better future, Regulus wants to destroy and take over Auradon, both because it is the land that took Sirius from him, and because it would make his mother proud. Arriving in Auradon, he is not the little scared boy Sirius remembers leaving behind. Regulus meets James, who he hates, because he is the one that took Sirius from him. He enchants James to fall in love with him, to be able to use James to destroy Auradon and everything Sirius loves, and make his mother proud. However, instead Regulus falls in love with James, and the enchantment on James quickly stops working (without Regulus knowing), but James then falls in love for real instead (think Ben and Mal). 

Dorcas - Hades daughter. Enemies to lovers with Marlene, who while she now accepts Sirius and Mary, does not trust this new round of VKs. Dorcas, as one of Regulus’ best friends (but you would never hear him say it or accept it), also hates Auradon and everything it stands for, however, she leaves that mindset behind quicker than Regulus. 

Evan - child of Hans (from frozen). Grew up expected to be the perfect prince like his father, being able to take over the kingdom of Auradon one day. However, together with Regulus, Dorcas and Barty, he likes to wreak havoc on the isle, which his father does not agree with, as Hans feels like they are not real villains but rather princes (while Hans definitely is and behaves like a villain)

Barty - child of captain Hook. Together with Evan and Dorcas, part of Regulus’ new friends after Sirius left. They all join Regulus in the second round of VKs coming to Auradon. He and Evan become a couple during their time in Auradon (I would headcanon the Isle as more homophobic, but in perfect Auradon, you can date whoever. Takes a while for both to get rid of the internalized homophobia and get their shit together)

Pandora - child of Aurora, but is homeschooled by Flora, Fauna and Merryweather. Becomes Regulus’ first friend in Auradon (and Dorcas, Evan and Barty’s) and the first of the ‘good’ that they all trust. 

Of course, everyone gets their happily ever after <3

[princesssarisa]

"Beauty and the Beast" and romantic love

Not too long ago, I read some remarks comparing Disney's Beauty and the Beast to the original tale – I already don't remember where – and arguing, as so many feminist critics do, that the original tale sends better messages to girls than the Disney version does. But this one made an argument I had never heard before.

This critic complained that not only Disney's version, but virtually all modern adaptations of the tale make Beauty/Belle's character arc revolve around falling in love with the Beast, when in Madame de Villeneuve's original story, Beauty doesn't fall in love with the Beast. She learns to love him platonically and realizes that he has the qualities that make a good husband; this critic argued that the difference between this arc and "falling in love" is essential. Villeneuve's Beauty falls in love with the handsome Prince in her dreams; her ongoing reluctance to marry the Beast despite all his positive qualities stems not only from his appearance, but from her romantic attraction to "another" man. Even after she realizes how much she cares for the Beast when he nearly dies and at long last agrees to marry him, in the original story she still remembers her love for the Prince and feels torn. (In this version the Beast doesn't instantly transform when she agrees to marry him, but only transforms the next morning after they chastely share a bed for the first time.) When the Beast changes back into the Prince, Beauty is effectively rewarded for choosing the worthy Beast over the dream figure she loves by having the Beast turn out to be her beloved.

The whole point, this critic argued, is that romantic love alone isn't a good basis for marriage. When deciding whether or not to accept a marriage proposal, a woman shouldn't just ask herself "Am I in love with him?" but first and foremost should ask herself "Is he a good person? Is he kind and gentle? Does he treat me with respect? Is he generous? Is he unselfish? Is he loyal?" The point of the original tale (they argued) is that Beauty learns to recognize the qualities of a good husband in the Beast, even though she doesn't have romantic feelings for him, and comes to realize that these matter more than her romantic feelings for the Prince. This critic argued that modern retellings like Disney's, which have Beauty/Belle fall in love with the Beast, strip the tale of its most important message.

That's an interesting perspective and one I never considered before. But do I agree with it it? I don't think so.

In the Disney version, at least, the message of "what makes a good husband or romantic partner" is still very present. Belle isn't just swept away by animal attraction (no pun intended) to the Beast! The importance of the Beast's kindness, gentleness, respect, generosity, and selflessness is made extremely clear! The only two differences from the original tale in that regard are that (a) the Beast learns those qualities thanks to Belle's presence instead of showing them from the start, and (b) Belle falls romantically in love with the Beast for those qualities, rather than learning to choose them over "another" man's good looks and courtly charms. It still sends just the right message to girls about what to look for in a partner! (And please don't respond by saying "The movie romanticizes abusers" – Belle can't stand the Beast when he behaves badly and only learns to love him after he becomes kind. But that's a different subject altogether.)

Besides, even if Villeneuve's original version is, in a way, against marrying "for love," consider its context! The original tale is an allegory for arranged marriage. It was written for 18th century French girls who would have no say in who they married, to prepare them to share their lives with men they almost certainly wouldn't love romantically. If Villeneuve really meant to teach her readers to view friendship and mutual respect as the ideal basis for marriage, not romantic love, while giving them the hope that once friendship and respect are established, romantic love can follow... well, she had practical reasons for doing so. Marrying "for love" simply wasn't an option for her young female readers and she wrote the story as a direct response to that fact.

Modern retellings of the tale generally have nothing to do with arranged marriage. Not should they, because in the Western world at least, most of the target audience will choose their own spouses, if they get married at all. While of course the message about the qualities of an ideal romantic partner is still as relevant as ever, I don't see any problem whatsoever with showing Beauty/Belle falling in love with the Beast for those qualities, rather than choosing to marry him out of platonic friendship and respect, then being rewarded with the reveal that he's actually the romantic suitor from her dreams. If she falls in love with him for all the right reasons, as Disney's Belle does, then how could anyone think the story encourages girls just to choose their partners based on superficial attraction?

Of course, it's so popular nowadays to argue that famous love stories "aren't really love stories." Especially among certain "feminists," who talk as if it's dangerous for girls to see any fictional female character have romantic feelings for a male character or be motivated by emotion and not pragmatism in any way. We see this with all the various anti-romance takes on Romeo and Juliet ("It's a satire," "It's a cautionary tale against teenage passion," "It's a trashy, immature play from before Shakespeare became a good writer," etc.), and in discussions of other love stories and fairy tales too. So I suppose it's not surprising that "Beauty and the Beast wasn't meant as a love story and most adaptations are bad for girls because they get it wrong" is an argument that exists. Personally, though, I can't bring myself to agree with it.

@ariel-seagull-wings, @superkingofpriderock, @themousefromfantasyland, @the-blue-fairie, @faintingheroine

[ihopesocomic]

I respect your opinion on BATB. Personally, though, I didn't entirely enjoy it; I just felt disturbed about Belle falling in love with the person (turned into a beast) who kidnapped her father and only freed him if he could have Belle. I know Disney tried to tell their audience to never judge a book by its cover, but the Beast was awful for the first half (at least). I know he was depressed, but mental illness doesn't justify abuse. At all. (1/2)

I think there's too many overanalytical reviews of Disney Renaissance movies LOL I would rewatch it with a clear mind, because you'll notice a few things. The Beast wasn't depressed or mentally ill in any other capacity. He was just an awful person, for all intents and purposes. And nobody really excuses his actions, most people, save for Belle, feel threatened by him losing his temper. She's basically the only one who tells him off and he very much deserves it.

It's important to consider that Belle only started being nice to the Beast after he saved her life, and that was STILL only after a consideration of possibly leaving him in the snow to die. She also only started liking him when he was showing genuine respect for her, (and by extension those around him) and taking genuine interest in her interests. Her reactions to him are more gradual than you think, and it only happens once HE turns a corner and changes for the better.

Beast even let her go because he loved her and he didn't care about breaking the curse at that point even tho that's what everyone was wanting him to do. And it didn't matter that he let her go or not, because at that point she didn't love him (or else the curse would've been broken right there) Belle didn't express any interest in returning to the Beast until impending doom ala angry mob was a thing. And at that point she cared enough about him to not see him get killed. Belle's love for the Beast wasn't even reciprocated until the very end of the movie. (Heck she doesn't even marry him at the end LOL)

Another thing to keep in mind is that its only like an 80 minute movie. While many months pass in the movie, it doesn't always feel like much time as passed. But I would give it another chance. - Cat

[variousqueerthings]

Daniel LaRusso: A Queer Feminine Fairytale Analysis Part Two of Three

Part 1

Part 3

6. Sexual Awakenings part 1: Love, Obsession, & Size Differences

[Insert that post talking about the creators making sure that Daniel’s antagonists were much bigger than him so that the audience would sympathise, spawning 10000 size kink fics]

I’m sure this won’t awaken anything in Daniel

Corporate wants you to find the difference between these two pictures

The hallmark of feminine fairytales tends to be growing into womanhood, with all those symbolic sexual under/overtones, searching for a prince, encountering monsters (or evil stepmothers), on the surface tending to be quite passive/reactive, but actually being about young girls and women getting out of their environment and choosing to tussle with those deep, dark desires – monsters. They’ve got to function within the limitations of power that they have – escaping an abusive situation through marriage, chasing forbidden desires under the guise of duress, asking questions about sexuality through things like symbolic plucking (flowers) or consumption (fruit) or pricking (needles), etc.

Daniel isn’t striking out to find his fortune or win a girl or a kingdom Like A Man, he’s not a threat to Silver, who – like Jareth in Labyrinth – is in control for almost the whole of the narrative, he’s not actually able to do much more than react until he makes the decision to stop training, and even then he’s immediately ganged up on and assaulted, needing to be saved by Miyagi while he stands and watches, bloodied and bruised. 

Daniel’s journey in the third movie is to be forced into an impossible situation, seduced by Silver, and then prove that whatever violence Silver did to him isn’t enough to destroy him. It is incredibly similar to Sarah’s in Labyrinth, who by the end declares: “you have no power over me,” and that’s her winning moment. Not strength, not wits, not a direct fight, (although Daniel does fight Barnes and gets beat up again – only winning in in the end by taking him by surprise, unlike in TKK1 or TKK2 where you could argue that he proves himself to be a capable physical opponent to Johnny and Chozen), but by declaring that whatever power was held over her is now void.

Daniel’s narrative isn’t satisfying in the same way, because the dynamic of Silver and Daniel only accidentally emulates this - it’s not an intention on the side of the film-makers.

When Miyagi tells Daniel that he has strong roots, when he tells him not to lose to fear and Daniel wins over Barnes (in an almost fairytale-esque set of events), on paper he’s defeated whatever hold Terry Silver has over him. In the film itself though, Daniel never defeats Silver (which will likely be confirmed once he returns in Season Four). Daniel cannot simply say “you have no power over me,” and see Silver shattered into glass shards. 

The film is a contradiction: It wants to be a masculine sports film, but it exists in the same realm as Goblin Kings seducing young girls with the promise of: “Just fear me, love me, do as I say, and I will be your slave.” Unlike Sarah, Daniel doesn’t claim the power that’s been promised to him on his own terms. His subtextually sexual awakening is so corrupted that all he can do is pretend it never happened.

Still, Daniel proves in the film that his strength is not in his fists. It’s in his praying to the bonsai tree that’s healed despite a violent boy brutally tearing it in two.

These looks on Daniel and Silver though?

So why does Silver become obsessed with him? What’s up with all those red outfits (that he doesn’t wear in Cobra Kai)? What does the temptation reveal about Daniel? How does it recontextualise TKK1 and TKK2? Is Daniel bisexual? (yes).

Ah, beach-Daniel, in your red hoodie and your cut-off jorts. Iconic hot-girl summer vibes. 

If you didn’t want me over-analysing this, you shouldn’t have put him in so many red outfits and then have this man leering at him like he wants to eat him alive.

Surface-level it’s not hard to read into a Dude Story: Masculine power fantasies are about strength in a very direct way. Fighting, control, suaveness – and if you’re not the most traditionally masculine of guys, asserting dominance through being a good lover or intelligent or overcoming that unmanliness in some way through beating the bully or convincing the hot girl to go out with you, levelling up in coolness. Being A Man. It’s not too dissimilar from Daniel’s arc in the first movie, if you watch it without taking later events into account, although Daniel is never interested in proving himself as a man, and more in making Miyagi proud. Still, he does win and gain respect, and arguably “get the girl,” although Ali’s interest in him was never dependent on the fight.

7. Sexual Awakenings Part 2: Sexual Assault, Liberation, and Queerness

Feminine power fantasies are often about sex. Metaphorically. More accurately it’s “owning sexuality.” Even more accurately: “Freedom.” They also inhabit a fluid space in which empowerment through monstrous desires and non-consent can happen at the same time. And on top of that, many of these “fantasies” are actually being written by men, so whose fantasy is it really? A lot of them are based in oral traditions so presumably they were originally from the mouths of women, even if modern iterations (starting with Grimm’s collections) are filtered through cis men’s perspectives.

All of that being acknowledged: In Angela Carter’s “The Company Of Wolves,” Red Riding Hood unambiguously sleeps with the wolf. Belle discovers her freedom from expectations and unsuitable suitors (and in some versions, evil stepsisters) by falling in love with a Beast (the original novel was written by a woman, the 18th century Gabrielle-Suzanne Barbot de Villeneuve). Jareth informs Sarah of his obsessive devotion to her in Labyrinth. To lean into horror for a moment – Buffy is stalked and eventually has relationships with both Angel and Spike, Lucy in Coppola’s Dracula (which I have mixed feelings about) is raped by the werewolf and Mina is stalked by Dracula, The Creature Of The Black Lagoon kidnaps Kay (the lead’s girlfriend) – subverted in both The Shape Of Water in which Eliza forms a consensual relationship with the amphibious sea-god and in the short-lived horror series Swamp Thing, in which the connection is purposefully framed as seductive…

and in The Karate Kid Part Three Daniel LaRusso punches a board until his hands bleed because an attractive, older man tells him to and in this moment he gives in to what he (thinks he) wants.

Not all of those examples are equal. Some are consensual, some are hinted as abusive and/or stalkery, all of them have large age gaps, and a few are outright non-consensual.

But they’re all fantasies.

They’re all power-fantasies.

Except for Daniel, because he’s a man and the idea that being obsessed (lusted) over by an older man who keeps you in his thrall, specifically because you tickle his fancy for whatever reason, because you’re beautiful, breakable, different – could in any way be considered empowering is a difficult concept to wrap your head around. It doesn’t contain that “but I’m a good girl, I’d never go off the path and pluck flowers if a bad wolf told me to, honest,” societal context or the social context of rape culture. It’s closest comparison is closeted (perhaps even unknown until that point) queer identity.

There have recently been some comparisons of Daniel LaRusso to Bruce Bechdel in Funhome (and everyone who says that Ralph Macchio ought to play him in the upcoming movie: you’re right and I’m just not going to enjoy it as much without him). I’ve written a post about Sam being the heir to his legacy and trauma, specifically as a queercoded man. It’s not dissimilar to the plot of Funhome in a lot of ways.

The other interesting source that’s been going around in connection with Daniel is the essay “The Rape of James Bond,” which discusses the use of sexual assault as a plot device for women and not for men: “About one in every 33 men [in the US] is raped. … [your statistically average, real life man] … doesn’t have a horde of enemies explicitly dedicated to destroying him. He doesn’t routinely get abducted, and tied up. Facing a megalomaniac psychopath gloating over causing him pain […] is not the average man’s average day at the office.” That last bit is just a descriptor of Terry Silver, (although I take issue at the blasé use of psychopath).

The two part youtube essay  Sexual Assault of Men Played for Laughs posits that there is nothing more de-masculinising than the threat of sexual assault and therefore any narrative that features this “rightfully” must mock any man who has been a victim or who fears being a victim of sexual assault. It is feminising. There is nothing more humiliating – and therefore unheroic – than a man dealing with sexual assault.

So what do we feel when we see an attractive young man being put into a vulnerable position by an older man? A trope associated with female characters, a trope that is considered unpalatable for men (see reactions that happened when the hint of sexual assault was introduced in Skyfall).

Was it the fact that he was being threatened, or the fact that James’ next line is: “what makes you think this is my first time?”

Some thoughts added by @mimsyaf​ are around the idea of safety in how a lot of cis women might relate to this narrative through Daniel’s eyes. He’s not a woman, he has – societally – more power than a girl or woman would have, which makes this a different watch to, say, if Danielle were to go through the same narrative. Daniel doesn’t carry that baggage of rape culture, or of the male gaze that you might find in a similar scenario of Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Christine in Phantom of the Opera (and once more the age differences between these characters and the men who love/lust over them are substantial), which makes the narrative “safer” to engage with.

I agree with that, although as a transmasc person I also come at it differently. I specifically like to headcanon Daniel as a trans guy and find his fraught interactions with masculinity through his own non-toxic lens relatable, as well as the way other boys and men react to it – also I think Terry Silver is hot. I know there are people who write Terry Silver with female OCs, which is also a form of empowerment.

On the flipside putting Daniel in this space runs a risk of fetishising him as a queer youth who is either Innocent and Pure, or a bisexual stereotype that deserves to be assaulted for not being a real man. After all, Real Straight Men don’t run the risk of sexual assault.

 Alas, the road to empowerment never did run smooth. 

The comparisons between the way Daniel is treated by the text and how female characters are often treated in texts are undoubtedly there. Through Ralph Macchio and TIG’s casting and the direction and acting, but also within the text itself. 

It might not be with the same purpose as Neo’s symbolically trans journey, but it puts the whole narrative that Daniel’s going through from TKK1 under a different light than if there had only been one movie that ended on a triumphant sports win and a girlfriend.

Johnny’s masculinity and the use of tears as liberation, now that’s a whole other analysis….

[ot3]

if u dont mind me asking what did u think of belle? i enjoyed it overall and im a fan of all of mamoru hosodas works, but i felt like belle was a bit too...disjointed? or something? it felt like a bit too many ideas mashed into one movie. it was very beautiful tho and i love the soundtrack

EDIT: OOPS THIS PUBLISHED BEFORE I WAS DONE. it was fun and cute but overall not the greatest storytelling. below the cut in case anyone cares about spoilers for this movie

i i really enjoyed suzu as a character and thought the stuff about her mom hit really well but everything about the child abuse arc didnt really make any sense. like they make such a big deal of her going there to 'help' these kids but they don't actually show us how she helped them, it seems she just went there, protected them once, and left. for a movie that went out if its way to tell us that there had been intervention in the past that never actually stopped the the father's abuse, they sure didn't bother telling us what suzu did that was actually different.the movie did not actually have anything to say about child abuse so i don't think it should have brought it up.

having a movie that's a really well done piece about grief and then throwing in some abused children your protagonist can help for character development is just poor writing. here's some potential ways i think this movie could have been cleaner

- make the beast luka. we were really rooting for this to be the case pretty much the whole time because it would have been really good. like the perfect popular girl who suzu modeled her persona after having this secret darker side and needing someone like suzu to help her. that would have been great narrative symmetry and also had some fun gay undertones

- make the beast her dad. there was one brief point during the movie where i thought this could be a case and all the weird romantic stuff was kind of a red herring. i think if you made it have much less of the romantic undertones that's hit really well and be a good twist on/callback to other beauty and the beast retellings, where the whole reason that belle goes to stay in the beast's castle is to protect her father. he's grieving the loss of his wife and in some ways, his daughter. his attempts to look after and care for his daughter in the real world are falling short so it'd be interesting to see a twist where the thing that brings them closer is her having to care for him in this virtual reality

- make the beast the child her mother died saving. obviously we're supposed to understand that she comes to understand her mother's sacrifice through her actions here, but i think it falls a bit short because the child abuse angle that gets thrown in here muddies the water. if it was the same child, who, after being saved from the river, ended up in an abusive household, i think the abuse elements would make more sense as just an extension of that earlier precarity rather than as a whole new narrative element. i think a situation where she saves this girl again and then only afterwards realizes its the same girl would help tie things togethr really well.

[mediocre--writing]

i know we always talk about billy easily submitting to his dad but imagine this:

-

neil is charismatic, that must be where billy gets it, because he has the whole town fooled. nobody sees the demonic beast hiding under human flesh.

neil knows all the neighbors by name. he treats the custodian as he treats his boss. he offers help to old ladies with groceries and helps them cross the street.

people wonder why billy seems to glare at his father and disobey him so often; for how good a man neil is, it’s astonishing how resentful billy is of him.

billy will snark back in public, blatantly roll his eyes, flip him the bird when he’s not looking (and leave it up long enough for him to see when he turns).

the party thinks he’s an asshole who hates everyone. steve can’t believe the amount of disrespect he gives his dad. nancy and jonathan are floored at the vulgar words he speaks about him with, how he talks about him to his face.

max is more sympathetic than ever. how neil is so well known and widely liked by the people of hawkins and how nobody would ever even begin to believe a word of the truth billy could tell.

it’s almost like there’s nothing to be done. because as awful as neil is, there’s some days when billy won’t shut his mouth. and it gets him into trouble.

he’s spiteful and vindictive and vulgar when they shout at each other, but once billy is shoved against the wall, it’s a 50/50 chance he’s gonna fight back.

some days he can’t be bothered. is sick and tired of his own life, he lets the one ‘warning’ hit be enough.

other days he shoves back. he always gets shoved harder after. he’ll rile neil up to the point of maximum damage, but it’s so easy to get him angry it’s almost funny.

billy wishes, every time he gets hit, that some random townsperson would just walk into their living room. or kitchen. or billy’s bedroom. or, on one occasion, their back yard.

nobody sees billy hargrove: victim of abuse. they see billy hargrove: hates the nicest man in town. it’s ridiculous and billy can’t stand it.

he’s almost 18 now. he’s sick of hawkins and ready to leave and go anywhere but where his dad is.

but he wants one last joyride on the anger express. maybe ruin a reputation in the process.

so he acts out one day, while they’re walking down the sidewalk from a store max and susan had wanted to look at before grocery shopping.

billy knows how to get under neil’s skin. it’s one of the things he prides himself in knowing well.

he makes an off handed comment about how shitty it is that he’s being dragged into family outings. “we aren’t even a family,” he’ll say.

neil will give him a look. one that says he’s gonna get it when they’re home. where nobody can see who neil really is.

then billy brings up his mother, how she was so much better than neil could ever be. “she made the right decision to leave you,” he snickers as he watches neil’s fists clench.

a myriad of comments follow. ones about how neil is gonna lose another wife. ones about how he still can’t get billy into place. ones about how awful it must be to enjoy hating children.

there’s one more thing that he’s depending on to be the final fuse to make neil explode, right in broad daylight. bringing in the one thing neil hates most in life: “it’s too bad you’ve got a faggot for a son, huh?” billy says, just loud enough to be almost heard by the old lady walking a few steps in front of them.

when neil’s mustache curls into a pained grimace, billy knows he’s won. knows that he’s got the upper hand of the situation, even if he’s gonna get hit for it.

knows, right when the name “william,” comes out, threatening as ever, that he has won.

so he adds fuel to the fire. “do you think red or pink lipstick would look better with my complexion?” just to see the extra line that forms above neil’s eyebrows.

neil stops walking. turns to look at billy. they’re still in the middle of the sidewalk, max and susan a few feet away, stopped as well. max looks like she wants the floor to swallow her whole.

“well, you know, when i become a drag queen, i’ll have to look good, right?” billy asks his father, and it’s like he’s lost control over his own mouth. “so what’ll it be, dad? pink or red?”

and maybe the alarm bells and flashing red lights in billy’s head should have stopped him from talking. maybe he should have let this grocery trip be about getting weekly groceries.

but something about how he could see his fathers breathing speed up and his face turn so pink it’s almost purple, it’s fun.

with the added addition of seeing some of max’s little friends leaving the theatre at that moment.

right when the boys notice max, neil lunges for billy.

the old lady that had been steps in front of them has turned to see what the thud behind her was, only to see neil holding billy by his collar and his neck, shoved against a brick wall, billy’s toes barely touching the floor.

for being in such a compromising position, billy shouldn’t look as smug as he does when the old lady drops her purse with a gasp or when he sees max’s friends’ faces contort with fear. or when he sees harrington exit the movie theatre as well.

it happens quickly, the fight. billy thinks his brain went black and acted on instinct, he doesn’t remember a thing.

but the bystanders see it all. how close neil leans in to sneer something in billy’s face. how billy laughs, then lifts a knee to hit neil where it hurts.

how he stumbles enough for billy to get on his own two feet.

there’s a quick moment where neither moves, then neil rams into billy, but billy keeps his balance well, planted feet and all, and shoved neil back.

within the next minute, they’re both on the floor and alternating who’s got the upper hand. they’re decently matched as opponents, but neil has the upper hand. he’s taken billy down so many times he knows just how to bring him down physically, like how billy can destroy neil with words.

max and susan are backed up another few yards, susan holding max behind her, but not saying a thing. both are too shocked. this has never happened in public.

the party are watching from across the road, and steve feels like he should do something, because neil just slammed billys head into the cement. and he can’t really tell from how far they are, but billy’s nose is sure to be broken.

“call hopper,” steve instructs the party as he moves to walk across the street.

dustin grabs his arm before he can move far. “billy beat you once before, and now there’s like two of him, steve!”

steve walks over anyway. billy had been straddling neil prior, pushing a finger into his shoulder, before being slammed back to the ground.

there’s many different slurs being spewed from neil’s mouth, many of which change steve’s perception of billy entirely, but that’s not important now.

steve gets to where susan and max are when neil gets a grip on billy’s dangly dagger earring and pulls until it rips out of billy’s ear.

susan is staring, horrified at the scene, and max has shoved her face into the pink cardigan her mother wore, peeking out every moment or so.

when she spots steve, she doesn’t feel relived like she hoped she might, she just feels worse. more people don’t need to be involved.

“max, the party’s over there if you wanna...” steve suggests, motioning over his shoulder where the boys are crowded around a pay phone.

max pulls susan along with her across the road, glancing back at steve, who doesn’t seem to know what to do either.

what is he supposed to do? it’s not like dustin was wrong, steve’s never won a fight on his own.

luckily, right as he sees neil stand up and literally stomp as hard as he could on billy’s elbow, backwards, he hears a siren.

sees hopper’s cruiser pull around the corner and feels like a weight is both equally being lifted off his chest and being pushed down heavier.

neil is standing above billy, a few scrapes and forming bruises, ruffled clothes and a tear in the polo he was wearing, but nothing more damaged than his ego.

billy, on the other hand, is laying face down on the concrete, elbow bending in a way that is not natural and half his face covered in blood from both his nose and his ear.

neil looks only mildly frightened by hoppers appearance, and something about it rests uneasy with steve.

steve feels like he’s having an out of body experience as things happen. like he’s only there to observe, which he kinda is, but it’s hazy.

susan comes back, along with the boys following a shaken up max.

another cop, steve thinks it’s callahan, tries to wake billy up, because at some point neil had rendered him unconscious.

neil looks calm while this happens. he has an almost proud air about him as he watches a man try to wake up his son that he’d beaten so bad, he’d passed out.

it makes steve sick.

it also makes steve wonder if this were a semi common occurrence.

billy is driven to the hospital, mostly because his nose is crooked, his ear is still bleeding, and his elbow is most definitely facing the wrong direction, but they also think he may have cracked a rib or two.

neil is driven off in a cop car, callahan’s, while hopper stays to take stories.

it’s news to steve when susan and max share that this has happened multiple times, just never to such a detrimental state.

max recalls the first time that she’d met billy, he’d been wearing a cast on his arm and refused to tell her how he broke it.

steve sees billy in his head. sees the bruises on billy’s back when they’d play shirts and skins and how he’d chalked it up to a childish fight or a fun night with a girl.

sees how billy would favor his left leg for two weeks during basketball, and only wear sweats, but steve had noticed bruising around his right ankle when he’d change his shoes.

sees how billy seems to have insanely good intuition to when people are behind him or when he’s in a crowded place, always on the lookout.

sees, not justification, but a reason behind the way billy acts.

steve can’t imagine, even if his dad was like neil hargrove, having enough nerve to hit him back. even speak rudely towards him.

he recalls all the times he’d seen billy talk shit about his dad or snark at him in public. now he sees them as acts of bravery and defiance from an abuser rather than impolite and hateful towards a parent.

billy’s been fighting this whole time. and he’s been on the right side of the fight.

[heavensturtle]

Day 18: Father

A short fic for day eighteen of the YOI 20+ Club’s Daily Art Challenge! - - -

TW: Non-graphic depictions of child abuse. They happen right at the beginning and then it’s over, so jump to ‘The third time’ if you want to skip it.

Note: This is not my only headcanon about Victor’s past. I have too many. Maybe if the movie ever comes out I can find out if any of them are even close to the truth…

- - -

The first time Victor’s father hits him, Victor cries. But then his mother is there with a a wet cloth and promises that it won’t happen again, and he believes her. He lets her wipe at his tears until he’s grown calm again.

The second time Victor’s father hits him, his mother cries, and his father calls her things Victor has no reference for but which sound unpleasant. When it becomes clear that they’ve forgotten about him in all the yelling he retreats to his bedroom, climbs into the space between his bed and the wall, and starts working on his Beauty and the Beast coloring book. He falls asleep there, curled up on top of a picture of Belle in a blue and gold ball gown.

The third time, Victor’s mother packs his coloring books, his toothbrush, and a spare change of clothes in his backpack and drops him off at the rink with a smile and a promise to see him later.

Victor never sees her again.

Yakov, the surly, recently-divorced head coach, takes him home after practice. And then Victor just… stays there.

It’s too quiet in Yakov’s house. The stairs don’t creak, the cabinets don’t squeak when Victor opens them. And at night, when there’s supposed to be the sounds of people laughing and drinking in the kitchen, there’s just the humming of the refrigerator.

Victor starts having nightmares, so when the neighbors move Yakov takes in their old poodle, Kobuchin. Kobuchin is the same size as Victor and the two of them sit on the floor and lean against each other, shoulder to shoulder, while Victor jabbers to Yakov in the evenings, or lie sprawled one on top of the other while Victor draws elaborate costume designs for future skating competitions.

Yakov makes sure Victor eats every day, drives him to school and to the rink. Kobuchin is there for Victor to hug when he’s excited and licks Victor’s face until he wakes up when Victor whimpers in his sleep. Together, they fumble through the responsibility of raising Victor.

Kobuchin dies too soon. For half a year Victor refuses to even look at another dog, and then one day he comes home to find a poodle puppy waiting for him and cries while Yakov awkwardly pats him on the shoulder. The next year he takes Makkachin with him to the skater dorms, and the year after that to the apartment he buys after two consecutive medals during his senior debut land him a lucrative sponsorship deal.

Here’s what Victor learns: dogs are better than people. Makka licks his chin and whines to go out when Victor lies still for too many hours, and snuggles close when Victor shivers. He doesn’t get mad at Victor for not wanting to go out when seeing other people is the last thing he wants to do. He also doesn’t get mad at Victor for coming home at six in the morning after deciding that staying in will make him more insane than going out. He never once rolls his eyes at Victor no matter how ridiculous the fears Victor shares.

Yakov’s great, the best, really, but he doesn’t comfort Victor when he falls. He’ll never tell Victor that he loves him. He accepts Victor’s hugs with magnanimity, but only rarely hugs back. Victor teases, prods, laughs at his red-faced rants, anything to make him act less like a coach and more like family. Or even like a friend. But Yakov is stern, and Yakov never relents.

The one time Victor sees Yakov crack, sees a flash of the father he could have been, Victor isn’t even trying for it. He’s kissing Yakov farewell before getting on his one-way flight to Fukuoka when Yakov, in a rare moment of vulnerability, begs Victor to stay. For just a moment he doesn’t sound stern, or even angry. He sounds scared. Like he’s afraid of losing Victor.

Too little, too late, Victor thinks. He pastes on his best fake smile and waves cheerfully as he boards the plane to Japan.

[popculturebuffet]

House of Mouse: Max’s Embarrassing Date Review

Hello House Mouses and welcome back to the house of mouse. Another comission by Kev and my second House of Mouse for the valentine’s season. This time we’re not tackling a Valentine’s Episode necesarily, but a romantic one all the same as fan faviorite couple Max and Roxanne finally go on a date.  I always liked Max. Even as a kid when I wasn’t the biggest fan of “A Goofy Movie”, didn’t like the darker patches like the principals office scene or the Pete Hot tub scene.. though in hindsight both had legit greviances with Max... it just dosen’t make either less terrible as the principal still told an innocnet man who wasn’t responsible for what his kid did and was trying his best that his son was going to become a crminal because of one stupid but mostly harmless prank, and Pete.. is just an abusive, unlikeable and unlovable ass in both Goof Troop and Goofy Movie, and I hate how he treats his son, don’t blame his wife for leaving him or taking their daughter and dog, and am really sad he got custody of PJ somehow. And for the record this isn’t ALL petes, just this version. The rest are fine and just the right level of asshole. 

Point is despite my problems with the first film, I had none with the second and even now I like it due to having some really good ideas and concepts while also being gloirously rediclous due to the loveably dated X-Games element. While I do have a spot in my heart for the Dana Hill and Shaun Fleming versions, especially the latter once upon a christmas is awesome, Jason Marsden’s version is the best by the mile having the right amount of ego mixed with self doubt to make him likeable enough to brook him being an ass to his dad a lot. He’s a good character.. and it baffles me Disney NEVER uses him nowadays. No really, the last time he showed up was in twice upon a christmas and no one liked that because he was dating someone who wasn’t Roxanne just to rehash the same plot they’d already rehashed better in Extremley Goofy Movie. I REALLY need to rewatch that one. Hmm.... gonna see if I can squeeze that one into May or later in April. That’s for another time. 

But yeah while he’s at one of the disney parks, that’s it. The character just .. vanished, and hasn’t been brought back in any way shape or form. Though I could see either a Disney Plus reboot of goof troop or a goofy movie with max having his own kids. That could be intresting. Also bring Roxanne back as weirdly this episode i’m reviewing, a goofy movie and now her ducktales cameo are her ONLY apperances. 

Seriously I get she’s not the most fleshed out.. but then flesh her out. Like Max she’s crminally underused and while I get her absence as a character in the sequel, the plot really didn’t need her, he still could’ve been dating her off screen. Though clearly the two worked things out and tried again as this episode came out AFTER extremely did. But did this episode work out? Join me under the cut to find out. 

As i’ve decided is my standard for House of Mouse Episodes, shorts first, then wraparound, then Mickey Mouse live sex celebration. Though I will say i’ve picked up there are two kinds of formats for the show: They either use two of the longer Mouseworks shorts or just one close to 11 minute short, a medium one, and one of the little two minute segments. There might be a break from this in the future, we shall see but for now those ar ethe two standards. This time we have two longer shorts. 

Pluto’s Penthouse Sweet: 

I’ve mentioned in the past I dont’ really get why Pluto is part of Disney’s sensational six along with Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Goofy and Daisy. And I stand by that: While he’s had his own cartoons they just aren’t as entertaining and creative as MIckey’s or hilarous and relatable as Donald and Goofy’s. He’s just an average cartoon dog. He works fine in tandem with Mickey, but on his own he’s just nothing and his spot should be taken by pete, who while not a goodie all the time, again the goof troop version needs to step on a rake and fall into a well.. somehow. i didn’t think my insult through. Point is pete is better.  And this short isn’t BAD .. but to me it’s what some fans THINK the disney shorts are: Bland, maybe one or two good jokes but almost nothing new or intresting. As I found out last year, that’s far from the case, as a lot of the Donald shorts are still hilarious today and a lot of the mickey shorts are shockingly creative, like Thru The Mirorr where he goes .. well thru the mirror into a wonderland like world where all the inanaimate objects are alive and he can shrink and what not via astral projection, or Mickey’s Mechanical Man, which I sadly didn’t know about when I did the MIckey Birthday Special and for some reason isn’t on disne plus. In it Mickey creates a robot and has it box a monsterous looking gorillia. 

How has Mickey piloting this thing but giant sized against various kaiju been a thing yet? And if it has someone tell me. Seriously with all the comics and animated series how. I’d even settle for a Wonderful World of Mickey Mouse episode. Just bring this guy back. Point is there was far more invetnion than it seemed.. at least at first as it slowly died out as they went by the late 50′s. But Pluto just seemed even in their hayday like your standard pet gets into antics thing without the creative slapstick of tom and jerry or the likeablity of sylvester who never could get that asshole Tweety Bird. This is just weak sauce and whiel I could forgive the older shorts, as their from another time and likely lead to say Tom and Jerry... I can’t forgive this which was made probably in 1998 and released in 1999 originally. Comedy had evolved a LOT by that point and unlike the Goofy how to shorts, which are a format that is immortal and still evolved to match the times and felt fresh, these just feel stale and boring and like the last Pluto short I covered this one was a chore to sit through though not nearly AS bad. 

Still though the premise is about the same, Pluto’s left to his own devices, and finds a female dog, though in this case she’s VERY intrested in him. I”m also not entirley convinced she’s a dog, but instead one of Jumba’s experiments and that Lilo and Stitch later had to journey to.. wherever these shorts take place to fetch him. Or more likely the house of mouse. I mean Proud Family, Recess, American Dragon Jake Long and Kim Possible all take place int hat universe, why can’t house of mouse? Also tell me you wouldn’t watch an avengers style team consisting of Kim, Ron, Jake, Penny, Probably TJ, Lilo, Stitch and Donald Duck. If you wouldn’t i’d call you a liar because you would be. 

Seriously the eyes give her away.... just look at them. Very experimenty. But before Pluto can do it like they do on the discovery channel he has to get past the guard dog.. though how he does produces the one great gag of the short, as he BUILDS A GIANT, TROJAN HORSE ESQUE PLUTO OUT OF JUNK. Just holy shit that’s awesome> It gets him inside, only for him to find his lady friend is a bit TOO affectionate and he has to escape, he does so, and MIckey wonders if he missed him etc lame button. This short was a vacuum of comedy outside of GIANT PLUTO. Seriously where’s my disney giant mecha series. YOu have five main characters, and Pluto among with MANY, MANY side characters, frmo scrooge to the boys to hopefully Della, to even possibly pete and mortimer who could have their own mech against the heroes but maybe join them in the last episode. Maybe max and pj could have some, have a father vs son thing with PJ and Pete. I”m just saying, i’d watch it. I know my nieces would watch it. I know my nephews would watch it. Greenlight it. Or i’ll make it.. somehow. 

How to Ride a Bike: Speaking of the How To Shorts, as usual for the House of Mouse era ones.. this was awesome, pretty much what you’d expect, some goofy, pardon the pun, gags about goofy riding a bike and then a fun climax of him in a bike race. Not a ton to add, other than that hamster bike above is genius. Just needs some tweaking. Really funny, really simple, and really good as you’d expect from a good Goofy Short. Easily the best part of the episode. 

Max’s Embarrassing Date: So this was a disapointment. Like i’d try to be nice.. but I had high hopes given this brought Roxanne back, and while the premise was stock maybe they’d do something funny with with it. 

But no the plot is pretty standard, very predictable and fairly obnoxious. Max has a date with Roxanne, and is playing it cool and what not, but is worried his dad will find out.. which he somehow did offscreen. Probably Clarabelle.. I mean they do go out sometimes in this one, wouldn’t surprise me. 

So Max pleads with the rest of the HOM staff to keep him away because he fears his dad will overdo things, which.. is fair and one of the few things I like> He dosen’t want him to overdo it on the mood because this is well.. a first date. He dosen’t want to pressure her or himself and just wants it to be nice and calm. The problem is it’s framed like him once again being embarassed by his dad and having to learn better.

At this point we’d had TWO movies do this already, one of which was only two years old at the time of this episode. This plot is stale as old toast even if it dind’t have goofy in it. And the twist is predictable: the HOM crew end up also overdoing it: Minnie comments on how cute they are and wants candles brought, Daisy gets them a bigger table forgetting how dates work,t hough we do get a great gag of hte 7 dwarves stacked, and Mickey while having .. some.. gopher? I honestly can’t tell who it was, usually i’m better at the cameos. Speaking of which they also have a runner of beast going on a date with Cruella Devile. 

I mean is he cheating on his wife? Is she holding his wife hostage? Is this before belle because we see a post transfomratoin beast too so maybe the House of Mouse is an intersection of space and time? That’s.. actually the most resonable answer I can think of honestly and when i’m focusing more on how the hell your gag works than how funny it is, you clearly failed somewhere along the line. 

Point is Mickey puts his good friend in a pothole, and not only calls max little max, which while an understnadably close family thing to do is still embarassing, but also takes pictures while their eating the spagetthi.. which i’m 100% sure was Huey’s idea nad had Mickey not interrupted, would’ve been tied up down the middle for a lady and the tramp thing. It’s his signature move. Well that and having a panic attack. That’s also one of mine the others being lettterkenny refrences and sex jokes about disney characters.  But yeah this just.. dosen’t work. Them being as embarassing? that’d be fine.. if they weren’t wholly unsympathetic for not only keeping their friend from WELL INTEITONEDLY trying to help his son on his date, something his son shold have no problem with since ROXANNE’S MET HIM. AND IS FINE WITH HIM. AND NEVER CARED ABOUT YOU BEING HIS SON LIKE THE DICKHEADS AT SCHOOL. MINUS BOBBY WHO YOUR FRIENDS WITH FOR SOME REASON. My point is this plot bothers me a lot, and it makes the mickey crew come off like assholes for doing this to thier friend instead of just talking to him like a person. Especially since only ONE of them is a parent and Conviently donald is mostly absent. Likely because he realized this was going to end badly and just agreed to tie the spagetthi like huey taught him to keep his involvment in this shit show and gaslighting his best friend to a minimum. 

Eventually Mickey takes things a step too far and has Sebastian almost sing kiss the girl. Max cuts him off though yelling that he just wants them to back off, he just wants them to relax and he TOLD them this, which makes them come off worse as they KNEW he didn’t want this and did it anyway and never apologize becaue apparently the first rule of house of mouse is never apologize for anything, huh huh. Goofy naturally steps in, tells them off and agrees to serve them and Roxanne finds him entertaining and gives him a nose kiss for being a good dad. He’s a good guy that Goof.  Roxanne then whispers something in max’s ear at the end of the date... which gives him an audible erection. No really. And given his age is vauge here I’m suddenly super duper uncomfortable so let’s move on. 

So max tells them she liked it and wants to come back.. 100% sure that wasn’t what she said but what she said isn’t fit to print and you’ve seen what i’ve said and what I put in the we’ll be right back. Point is he’s happy, though Mickey says we’ll try to make it extra special next time. Mickey.. did you do a space mountain’s worth of pills and cokea nd just forget the entire evening? Did you take some of those hangover roofies/ Why would you do that? Was that pete’s new plan to steal the house of mouse? To drug you guys and make you forget you already paid the rent? Did PJ stop him? Inquiring me wants to know. 

Final Thoughts: Yeah this wasn’t a very good episode. Roxanne is wasted despite having a suitable replacment Roxanne voice in Grey Delise, with no real depth just to rehash the plot of the first and second goofy movies. And this one didn’t have an inexpilicable beatnik cafe, PJ getting laid and finally being happy for once, a standard college fraternity plot  surgeically infused with an out of nowhere obession with xtreme sports that was nowhere in the first film, Goofy in an afro, Goofy finding love, That disco sequence, and a climax in which Goofy carries Brad Garret out of a fire, then Brad Garret probably kills the villian of the film who certainly deserved it. My points are this episode was an underwhelming rehash only saved by some good shippy moments and a good goofy short. It was weak, not all that funny, and not all that intersting.  My other point is that an extremley goofy movie is awesome and also kinda insane and I love it for that. I’m glad I saw this one but i’m really disapointed in how bleh it was. Next time I visit the house of mouse is.. actually in a few days as Pete Does a One Man Show. So yeah already 100% better just by having THAT musical number in it, see you then and if not, there’s always another rainbow. 

[dani-luminae]

Please tell me your thoughts about the Enchantress from Beauty and the Beast? Honestly I never really thought of her at all. Even in the 2017 version she was just kind of there.

Okay I am not a very Enchantress-positive person. I get that she’s kinda necessary to the story for Beauty and the Beast to even happen at all, but otherwise, I don’t like her. (In the canon versions, at least; what I’ve made of her in various stories of mine is a bit of a different matter.)

In the original animated one, it can be inferred from the wording of the curse in the prologue and the lyrics of “Be Our Guest” that the Enchantress cursed an eleven-year-old boy. He’s 11! Now I know that the portrayal in the stained-glass portraits in the beginning and then the prince’s portrait itself don’t match this, but I can’t set that aside; the prince’s young age was also later confirmed in the Christmas special that they did. This woman cursed an eleven-year-old for not wanting to let her into his castle. Where are his parents? Did they teach him “stranger danger”? Maybe that’s actually what’s happening here and he’s just being a scared kid!

In the remake... I’m actually a little more angry at her in the remake for a couple reasons. I’m glad they aged up the prince to make it a bit clearer that this guy needed to be taught a lesson, as he’s clearly a young man this time, more capable of understanding his awful choices. But the enchantress basically breaks into the castle to offer him a rose (that, it’s been pointed out, was possibly/probably taken from his own garden.) Now I’m not saying this warrants his laughter and meanness towards her in the following scene (and I could only manage to watch this movie once because I disliked it so much) but it sure puts her in a much less sympathetic light. There’s also her reasoning behind cursing the servants, which is that they never stood up to the king while he was abusing the prince. Which, I mean, it sucks that they couldn’t, but HE’S THE KING AND THEY’RE SERVANTS, their depending on him for jobs and livelihoods so it’s not like they can waltz up to the dude and say “stop it” without major repercussions. (For the record, I’m not saying that this lets them off the hook. I’m saying that I believe the situation has more nuances than just “the servants let it happen and were somehow fine with it.”) The Enchantress also cursed two traveling musicians who had nothing to do with the situation except happen to be doing their jobs at something they were hired to do (I mean Garderobe and Cadenza). Also CHIP IS A LITERAL CHILD. To top it all off, she erases the outside world’s memories. So how on earth is anyone supposed to come to the castle to break the spell if they don’t remember anyone in the castle or know that it’s there?

In short, I think they (perhaps accidentally) made her even worse in the remake. Then they kept her around, and for what? She saved Maurice… once? How nice of her, I guess? And then… she gets to break the spell, by undoing it herself. Not our heroine, Belle. Belle fails. The enchantress just decides to lift the curse, I guess, because she’s convinced that Beast has changed his ways… when she hasn’t even seen him once throughout the whole movie once she was done cursing him. So, the enchantress is the hero by basically undoing the problem she solved in the first place.

TL; DR: She’s an unnecessary character past the curse, to me. She’s here and gone in the animated one and fine, I don’t care about her any more. In the 2017, the expansion of her was unnecessary and unneeded. I’m sorry this got so rant-y.

I have varying versions of her throughout my stories, some actually good and some of them terribly bad, but as for the canon versions, I care very little for either enchantress.

[queeruma]

pastelbatfandoms replied to your post “Unpopular opinion: (ignore if you're not taking them anymore) It's not...”

How are Ben's parents abusive? I think out of all the Aurodon kids,Audrey has the most abusive.

I’m like a week late replying to this, I’m so sorry!

So, I agree with you that Audrey’s grandmother is Terrible with a capital T, (’and perhaps I have owed you one, too’ biTCH HOW ABOUT APOLOGISING TO YOUR OWN GRANDAUGHTER FIRST????), but I would say Ben’s parents... well, even if you don’t want to use the word abusive, I’d say they’ve cultivated a pretty unhealthy relationship with their son, and they don’t treat him well.

I wrote about the way Beast treats him here, if you’d like to read about that in more detail, and admittedly I’d say Beast treats him worse than Belle does. However, that post is based on the first book, not on the films, so I’ll talk more about those now - and in the films, I’d say Beast and Belle are pretty much equal in how terribly they treat their son.

First film:

Ben is 16 years old. Why, exactly, is he becoming king (high king? emperor? disney im begging you to sort out your shit)? We see that he’s in school with at least a few other students who will also, presumably, take over their respective countries at some point, being their parents’ direct heirs. But neither Audrey nor Chad seem even close to becoming the leaders of their... nations? states?

If Ben were in the UK, where I live, he wouldn’t even be taking his A-Levels yet. He’s in no way old enough to handle the responsibility of running a country, let alone an empire-type situation. There doesn’t seem to be anything wrong with Beast or Belle, and I refuse to take tradition as the excuse, considering the United States/Kingdom of Auradon has only been established for twenty years. They’ve only had one king! And it’s Beast, who also didn’t become king at 16, so there’s literally no reason for Ben to be taking over now, except that Beast and Belle want him to. This is so fucking irresponsible - and unfair of them to place that pressure onto a literal child. Beast calls him a baby in the very first scene!

Then, we have the infamous family day scene. Beast and Belle give their son absolutely no support when things start going wrong, even though Leah is behaving egregiously towards children who are under their care, and in the end they blame Ben for everything that’s gone wrong, and walk away, leaving him alone.

Second movie:

They just fuck off. Their 16-17 year old son is trying to juggle managing an entire... country? empire? continent? while being a full time student and apparently also making a full tour of Auradon and making press appearances. Could he possibly need any help? Nah, time for a six month long cruise. When they do eventually come back, and something is off with Ben and Mal’s relationship, they immediately go to Mal, without taking a moment to speak to Ben about why he’s acting the way he is. From the audience’s perspective, this seems fine, since we know Uma’s probably done something to Ben. But from their perspective? Who cares about understanding their son, better make sure we comfort Mal, who is already surrounded by friends, first. (this is not me saying that Mal doesn’t deserve comfort in this scene. she’s having a super awful time. I’m just pointing out that they never seem to be in their son’s corner.)

Third Movie:

Oh good god, where do I even begin with the third film? The first scene we see them, they seem... fine. They congratulate Mal on her engagement, Belle makes some comment about finally having a daughter, Beast says well done to his son - I don’t think Belle says anything to Ben at all? Idk, it’s easy to read this charitably and say that Ben’s obviously already discussed this with them a lot, therefore there’s no reason for them to focus on him now. Mal is our main character, so we get to see their interactions with her. This is fine.

Then, the scene where Mal decides the barrier needs to be closed.

(A real-life image of me sitting through this fucking scene.)

First of all, Beast, Belle and Fairy Godmother have themselves positioned as a solid line opposite Ben. They’re literally opposing him right from the beginning. Beast instantly takes this condescending tone, as if Ben hasn’t realised that Hades almost escaping is not a great thing.

Once Ben has received his text? call? whatever that was about the crown and sceptre having being stolen, and Beast and Belle aren’t getting the reaction they want from him - Beast instantly accuses Uma of the theft and Ben defends her - they immediately turn to Mal, putting the weight of the decision on her, even though at this point she doesn’t have the authority to make the decisions. She’s engaged to the king, sure, but she’s basically just an 18 year old girl who’s just graduated high school. The second she gives them an answer they like - to close the barrier for good - they turn back to Ben and nod at him as if to say ‘see? even your girlfriend knows trying to do the right thing by those kids is a stupid idea’. The only time in this scene when Ben gets a chance to speak his mind is when he and Mal are having their conversation, away from the adults.

After Mal has done her best to talk Ben into it, Beast steps forward, and it’s here that I noticed - all the way through this film, he refers to Ben as son. Maybe that’s just meant to be a sign of affection, but in this context at least I can’t help interpreting it as Beast, at least subconsciously, trying to place Ben back into the dynamic where he has authority - father and son - rather than acknowledging Ben as the king, and therefore the one with the power to make the final choice.

And of course, we have the moment with Hades, where he refuses to move and growls, even though Hades has done nothing to warrant any kind of threat. Then, in the final scene, he objects even when it’s clear Mal and Ben are on the same page about opening the barrier. His behaviour speaks of a man who can’t handle letting go of control of any situation - and people who refuse to give up control don’t typically make great parents.

Now

I can’t say any of the behaviours I’ve listed here, like, individually depict abusive actions? But I can say that even without the books, which cast Beast (and therefore Belle, since she’s letting all this go on without speaking up) in a pretty damn negative light, when you put all of this together it’s possible to come up with a very sinister interpretation. And because these are the people who came up with, implemented, and tried to keep the idea of the Isle, I think interpreting their actions as less than just bad-parents-who-are-trying-their-best is pretty justified.

So, my interpretation is as follows:

Beast and Belle are placing their son onto the throne so young because they know he’s going to take over at some point, and if they throw him into it when he’s young, unsure of himself, and swamped with other work, he’ll depend far more on them to help him make decisions. They want to stay in control even once they’ve officially stepped down. They don’t help him during the first film because they want him doubting himself and his choices. They leave in D2 because it doesn’t really matter to them whether he’s doing okay as king or not. And by the end of D2/beginning of D3, they’ve realised Ben isn’t going to be manipulated as easily as they wanted him to, and they’ve moved on to Mal. I’ll just remind you of this:

hmmmm, Beast has been teaching Mal how to lead and it just so happens that in D3 she’s far more sympathetic to his way of thinking than she was at the end of D2. Wonder how that could have happened?

Mal, who after D1 is unsure of her place in Auradon, and no longer has the relationship with her mother that she originally depended on to guide her, is now perfectly placed to be manipulated herself, and therefore help them manipulate their son.

I know that’s just one interpretation but seriously??? When do we ever see a really genuine, happy moment between Ben and his parents where they don’t at some point cast doubt on something he does, except that one time his father congratulated him on getting engaged (to a girl he approves of)? Even at the end of D1, when Mal attempts to apologise to them outside the cathedral, Beast immediately places the focus back on Ben and his decisions - ‘I told Ben this wasn’t going to be easy’.

I guess what I’m trying to say is like... the films never take the time to properly establish that Ben has a good relationship with his parents, and so their whole relationship in the films, especially when you add the material from the first book, just ends up feeling super creepy and honestly, pretty cruel. It’s just conflict conflict conflict, without any material to properly contrast it. I don’t think Beast and Belle are in any way good people in this universe, and I certainly don’t believe they’re good parents.

[newtshairdryer]

Thoughts on Descendants 3 as I watch it for the 8th time and pause to look at everybody all the time

- When Ben and Mal are walking out before the proposal, Audrey is slow clapping and it’s hilarious

-Chad seems genuinely happy to see them together but Audrey rains on his parade

-Please look at Chad’s face to the side after Ben gets on his knee his overdramatic gaping mouth is SENDING ME

-Why do they make Belle and the Beast kiss beside each other’s cheeks like a french greeting? For real though they’re Belle and the Beast...they should be kissing in celebration .-.

-Right after the Carlos/Beast chest bump there’s an extra in the background of Bal just having a blast popping bubbles

-Speaking of the bubbles I have no clue where they’re coming from

- Dude in the background when Audrey says ”What is wrong with you people?” bein shady AF to her

-That one girl in the wheelchair that has been in every single movie needs a name cause we all just refer to her as that one girl in the wheelchair lol

-Mal has her own purple fucking limo and she’s not even royalty yet

-Their money is so vibrantly coloured

-Those cards Celia fan out are definitely, well, a fan. They’re all attached- she’s not even holding onto some of them lol

-Mal resting her chin on Ben’s shoulder to watch him and Celia in the limo. soft

-The scenes in the limo make Ben look really big and awkward because they’re all shoved into a small space and he’s in the middle where the smallest person usually goes...but he’s the biggest person XD

-The barrier takes forever to close and there are a ton of people right there, why has no one attempted to just jump through it yet lol

-What if Hades put his hand through the barrier and it just like...cut it off LMFAO now THAT would have been entertaining 

-Hades literally makes himself roll one more time as he’s pushed back. Like there’s no more momentum and you can see he should stop but he makes himself do another somersault and it’s so obvious lol

-I know it’s been said before but the lack of security in the museum is just lazy AF writing. They didn’t even try to make it realistic it’s way too easy to just waltz in and take anything. Apparently the wand is the only thing worthy of an alarm

-Also why is there not even glass around the scepter to even attempt to discourage people from taking it? Even when the museum is OPEN someone could yank it out and start spelling shit up.

-Ben’s phone rings and he hangs it up less than a second after he picked it up- it doesn’t even show him barely looking at it. How on earth did he have time to see a message about the stolen items- let alone the fact it was a phone call ring...not a text ping

- OK WAIT IF UMA IS ON THE LOOSE AND HE TALKED ABOUT BETTER SECURITY SERIOUSLY WHY ON EARTH IS THE MUSEUM SECURITY SO NON EXISTENT??? IN BOTH THE FIRST MOVIE AND THIS ONE THEIR LACK OF SECURITY IS SUCH A GLARINGLY OBVIOUS THING WHY IS IT NON EXISTENT IT MAKES NO SENSE

-Why are the former King and Queen of Auradon and the current reigning King turning to the not yet Queen for all the advice about evil like it’s her responsibility. They don’t even attempt to brainstorm the vast amount of other ideas. And why on earth can’t she just suggest uh...literal guards by the barrier when it opens for them? Like if they paid people on the isle to guard the barrier so other isle people didn’t try to get out it would help a ton. There are so many other solutions other than closing the barrier completely (and then getting rid of it completely??)

-Does anyone else notice that like...50% of Ben’s screen time is him staring in shock/disbelief at things with literally no other expression for entire scenes? Cause I noticed it the first time around

-My favourite outfit in this whole movie for Mal is this light purple dress she has on when talking about closing the barrier for the first time with Ben’s parents and Evie. She is SO GORGEOUS in it. I’m actually not a fan of the leather suit she wears for the rest of the movie cause I don’t feel it fits with her hairstyle- mainly once it starts to go blue

-I just realized Mal’s hair literally goes from pretty much just purple to lots of blue mixed in. I guess it’s cool cause it’s like she gets power from the ember but I honestly prefer her brighter purple hair. My favourite hairstyle was her bangs she looked like an actual goddess in the 2nd movie

-I think everyone was thinking Dude got into Jane’s cake (despite the very neatly cut corner)

-I honestly love Mal’s face when Audrey shows up with the crown and scepter and her whole new gettup like “What on earth is this chick doing”

-I reiterate “what on earth is this chick doing” as Audrey goes to...sniff? the scepter?

-I wAnT tO bE dAnGeRoUS

-Audrey through a cupcake on the ground. So evil

-Honestly I’m sorry but Audrey talking all angsty to the people at Jane’s party is really cringey. Her lines are just...hhhhhhhhh (you mindless little drones in particular just seems weird the way she says it)

-How on earth does Audrey not see Jane get in the lake...she’s literally right there in full view

-OK so not ALL magic doesn’t work on the Isle, according to Celia only evil magic doesn’t work- so yes Maleficent is still a lizard cause Mal’s spell wasn’t an evil one

-Even with her massive platform shoes Mal is so much shorter than Hades she is yelling at him but having to look way up she’s adorable

- Hades “LET’S DANCE” - proceeds to shake a tambourine, slap his butt with it and stick his tongue out. ok then

-Why did I never notice Mal shake the tambourine at him angrily and then throw it lmao

-WHERE IS THE WIND COMING FROM IN THIS SONG (I will touch back on random wind that shouldn’t be there later on too)

-Mal should say thank you for the ember...imo

-”If it gets wet it’s game over” thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat’s what she said

-Mal’s walking away from Haes up those stairs? That booty thicc (only thing I really like about that outfit) 

-Girl has a zipper down her butt. She can unzip her ass cheeks

-I’m glad the jewelry in this movie is no longer plastic like Ben’s ring and his burger king crown

-“You’ll what? Marry them?” OK I am not a big fan of the plot or Audrey’s temper tantrum but  if that isn’t the best fucking burn in this whole franchise then idk what is

-gUYS CELIA IS NOT THE ACTRESS SHE IS SUPPOSE TO BE IN AN ENTIRE MAIN SHOT??? WTF? HOW HAS NO ONE POINTED THIS OUT?? SHE’S A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON WHEN THEY’RE WALKING OUT OF THE GATE TOWARDS THE BARRIER ON THE ISLE AND THEN THE NEXT SHOT IT’S BACK TO THE PROPER ACTRESS. BUT IT’S VERY OBVIOUS

-I AM GAY AS SHIT FOR UMA OK SHE IS ABSOLUTE PEAK AESTHETIC AND I WOULD LET HER CHOKE ME WITH HER BRAIDS 

-I deserve some compensation for my muscles...what does that even mean???

-Are we suppose to know who Hannah is?

-”Says you and that’s suppose to mean someth’n to me?” Ok maybe I’m just a flaming bisexual for Uma but why was that line delivery so smooth

-Audrey is abusing Chad. She threw a glass bowl at him and is literally shoving him around and yelling at him while accusing him of knowing things and not telling her. And it’s played for laughs. Descendants you have a lot of good things that are socially woke but this ain’t it man. Chad may have been a douche but he doesn’t deserve abuse. (rhyme oof)

- Why is Dude advertising that he gives great cuddles? Who is that directed at? Why is that line in there? Alright then

-How is Uma the only one that noticed the massive scratches on the wall and the literal painting slashed in half

-Mkay we get it Audrey you’re evil thanks for the random laugh

-The knight in front of them literally clanged as it moved and it’s RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM how did nobody but Harry see it move. This entire movie is me asking why something happened because honestly so much of it just doesn’t make sense but I still love the movie lmao

-Out numbered 1 to 50? How did this girl graduate lol

-I still say What The Fuck Is Happening every time Mal makes the Knights dance. It’s just the most random, out of the blue thing to do

-Mal literally licks her lip and gives Evie the most sultry look as Evie dips down and is singing the end of Night Falls. I’m not a Mevie shipper but it’s the most bedroom eyes I’ve ever seen

-Evie is an absolute ray of sunshine and deserves all the things

-Harry is genuinely flattered at Evie’s compliment about his accent he starts to smile. Dude acts like a complete player and then gets happy when someone gives him a genuine compliment lol

-Jay and Gil are adorable

-Gil is just adorable on his own

-Doug is in way too comfortable of a position to not have already been on the ground sleeping/resting. Which begs the question of why he was just on the ground sleeping like that

-Doug’s long hair and ponytail and complete lack of style are some of my biggest pet peeves in this movie. He doesn’t just look out of place next to Evie, but next to literally everyone else. He looked pretty good in the last two, why such a drastic change that literally nobody asked for or wanted lol

-I seriously can’t take Evie and Doug seriously in this movie just because of his hair. It’s just so unattractive I’m sorry not sorry

- I do enjoy the sense of urgency and time that the movie has as Mal tries to keep moving. Uma and her being like “just kiss him already” is fun

-They could have shot Audrey looking at them through the scepter in a different way...the way it’s just the same close up shot every time she’s looking at it with her hair blowing in the non-existent wind just adds to how cheesy her whole performance is (not her fault, director and writers fault)

-Mal should have kissed Ben when they reunited. 0 reason not to. She was super worried about him and finally reunited with him and she also LOOKED like she wanted to kiss him. Girl was super into that beard. 

-Leave some room for Jesus lmao 

-I’m just bitter cause the only kiss we get this whole movie is from kinda far away and is short. We’ve also never seen them share a sweet kiss in private- they’re always on display....maybe it’s a kink lol

-Ben and Mal holding hands while trying to sneak around <3

-Sophia’s acting when Evie is upset is on point. This whole scene is one of the only really good ones where everyone is rightfully upset with Mal. 

-Mal has had to sing about her feelings in every movie lmao

-Why...does the dragon look like it has a low frame rate? It looks choppy

-Audrey just, once again, doesn’t look menacing. She’s just like...waving a stick around and making mean faces

-”I owe you an apology” says everyone but...no one actually says “I’m sorry” lol

- Ben is just “aw yiss speak human rights to me baby” at Mal during the engagement party

- Beast: “We can’t do that.” I AGREE

-Taking the barrier down with no screening for the villains is a bad bad bad bad idea but it’s a happy disney universe so everything is fine - ugh

-UNSAFE BRIDGE!!1!!1 I’m waiting for someone to fall off- just once, please

-Mal and Uma jumping up and down when they kmeetis the cutest fucking thing on earth

-Ben needs a different thing to dance in, his suit is so stiff

-Harry and Audrey? Hmmmm I’m not opposed but I’m also not feelin it

-Were those people just...waiting there with an already built dragon?

-Ben likes to hip thrust in every movie, no lie

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi! Can you recommend some Final Problem Johnlock fics?

Hi Nonny!

Ahhh, okay so I haven’t really read very many fics dealing specifically with TFP, but the ones I do know of are fics on my MFL list or consider TFP as “canon”. So here’s what I have for you; please lovelies, if you know of any of your own, let us know!

THE FINAL PROBLEM is CANON

See also:

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its

Post S4 / S4 Fix Its Pt. 2

S3 / TAB / S4 [FIX IT] Fics (March 2019)

Post S4 Fics Masterpost

There’s Always Three of Us by Itsallfine (T, 1,765 w., 1 Ch. || S4 Fix It Fic/Post TFP, Parentlock / Rosie, Angelo’s, First Kiss, January 29, Love Declarations) – Sherlock takes John and Rosie out to Angelo’s and gets a chance to correct the biggest mistake of his life.

The In-Between by blueink3 (M, 10,679 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff and Angst, H/C, Parentlock, Fix-It Fic, Canon Compliantish) – Beginning in a Chinese restaurant and ending at the bottom of a well, what about the moments we didn’t see?

Dropping the Act by jadztone (T, 27,258 w., 10 Ch. || Parentlock, Fake Relationship, Mary’s Family, Post-S4, Cuddling & Snuggling, Bed Sharing, Pining, Christmas) – Sherlock and John are quite happy living together with Rosie in Baker St. They might be even happier if they didn’t act towards each other like their love is only platonic. Mycroft brings troubling news in the form of Mary’s parents wanting to know just what their grandchild’s home life is like. The boys decide to spend Christmas pretending like they are in love in order to seem more like a “normal” family. It’s easy enough to pretend when all you’re doing is dropping the act.

Another Auld Lang Syne by DiscordantWords (M, 30,234 w., 31 Ch. || Post S4, Mutual Pining, Alternating POV, Introspection, Parentlock, Christmas, New Year’s, First Kiss, Past Drug Use, Angst with Happy Ending, Drinking, Sherlock Whump) – There had been years of missed chances.

(Never) Turn Your Back to the Sea by DiscordantWords (M, 39,968 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4 Fix It || Grief / Mourning, Victor Trevor, Friendship, Sherlock is Not Okay, Nightmares/Flashbacks/Panic Attacks, Parentlock, Pining Sherlock, Angst with Happy Ending, John Comes Home) – Baker Street is very much the same. Only different. And Sherlock is just trying not to drown.

The Pieces That Fall to Earth by Itsallfine (M, 49,513 w., 84 Ch. || S4 Fix-It, Epistolary, Love Confessions, Slow Burn, Parentlock, Past Abuse, Coming Out, Internalized Homophobia, Questioning Sexuality, Mental Health Issues / Therapy, Angst, Happy Ending) – John and Sherlock have hit rock bottom, but with all their armor stripped away, they can finally speak honestly, seek healing, and find the truths that matter most. An epistolary post-s4 fix-it fic. Now complete.(This fic is rated T except for one very clearly marked and easily skippable chapter, which is rated M.) Part 1 of The Pieces that Fall to Earth

The Book of Silence by SilentAuror (E, 60,056 w., 2 Ch. || S4 Fix It / Post S4, Virgin Sherlock, Rosie / Parentlock, Domesticity, Fluff, Praise Kink, Sex Toys, First Person POV) – As spring blooms in London, John and Sherlock begin to take new cases and cautiously negotiate this new phase of life with John living at Baker Street again. Despite how well it’s all going, John struggles to forgive himself for the way he treated Sherlock following Mary’s death as well as trying to figure out how to finally put his long-time feelings for Sherlock into words. Part 1 of The Book of Silence/Rosa Felicia

The Bells of King’s College by SilentAuror (E, 64,019 w., 5 Ch. || Post-S4, Missed Opportunities, Angst with Happy Ending, Fake Relationship, Case Fic, John POV, Jealous John, John in Denial, Travelling / Holidays, Virgin Sherlock, Wedding Proposals) – It’s only been two weeks since Eurus Holmes disrupted their lives when Mycroft sends John and Sherlock to Cambridge to pose as an engaged couple at a wedding show in the hopes of solving six unsolved deaths…

MARKED FOR LATER

Evermore by SosoHolmesWatson (G, 2,068 w., 1 Ch. || Post-S4, Parentlock, Beauty and the Beast, Love Confessions, Disney Songs, Oblivious John, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Pining Sherlock) – For the past years, John and Sherlock have lived at Baker Street again, raising Rosie together–as friends and nothing more. Ever since the little girl has watched her first Disney movie, she is obsessed with princesses. When John comes home one day, he finds his friend and his daughter in the middle of a reenactment of her current favourite. Part 1 of the Made of Music series

A One-Track Life by JennLynn77 (E, 13,526 w., 7 Ch. || Post S4/TFP, Parentlock, Est. Rel., Medical Procedures, Anal, Cuddling/Snuggling, Bed Sharing, Surgery, Physical Therapy, Retirement, Sherlock Whump, Caring John, Bottomlock, Endearments, Drug Addiction, Triggers) – A medical situation threatens to derail the plans Sherlock had for his life with John and Rosie.

Easier With You by addicted2hugh, FinAmour (E, 13,865 w., 2 Ch. || Post S4, Est. Rel., Parentlock, Insecure Sherlock, Fluff and Smut, Bottomlock, Vulnerable Sherlock, Sherlock’s Past, Porn with Feelings, Pillow Fights, Idiots in Love, Caring John, Light Angst, Frottage, POV Third Person John, Blow Jobs, Purple Shirt of Sex) – Sherlock smiles slightly, his forehead coming to rest on John’s, and he lets out a tiny sigh. “It’s not myself I worry about, John.” “I know,” John says, his nose brushing against Sherlock’s. “And I will support any decision you make. But Rosie is going to be happy with you no matter what. You truly are her hero, you know that?” Sherlock exhales a small laugh. “Am I?” “That’s not even a question that needs answered, Sherlock. She’s amazed by you.”

Kintsugi by distantstarlight (E, 14,772 w., 1 Ch. || Post S4, Emotional Hurt / Comfort, Regret / Remorse, Loneliness, Separation, Drug Use, Healing, Protective John, Sad Sherlock, Dev. Rel., Complicated Relationships, Love, Angst) – Sherlock Holmes becomes estranged from the man he had once considered his best friend after John lets him down horribly in public. It seems that the world’s only consulting detective will be on his own once again…or will he?

fulfilling for other people Series by missselene (E, 19,140 w. across 4 works || Post S4, Pining Sherlock, Virgin Sherlock, Oblivious John, Unrequited Love, UST/RST, Bath Sex, Internalized Homophobia, First Kiss/Time, Making Love, Tender Sex, Vocal Sherlock, Caring John, Angst and Fluff) – When Sherlock decides to act on John’s advice regarding romantic entanglements, the results are far from what John expected.

WHISPER TO ME by chrysanthemumsies (T, 20,598 w., 3 Ch. || Post S4, Fluff, Parentlock, Mutual Pining, Music, Sherlock Plays Guitar, Love Confessions, Light Angst, Romance, First Kiss) - Following the events of S4, Sherlock and John try and fit back into their old life as carefully as they can, all while their feelings threaten to bubble to the surface. Or: Sherlock picks up playing the guitar. John falls more and more in love with every passing day.

Home Is by glenien (E, 21,786 w., 2 Ch. || S4 Fix-It / Post S4, Eventual Happy Ending, Parentlock, Emotional Baggage, First Kiss, Domesticity, Fluff) – While 221B is still under construction, Sherlock stays with Rosie and John.

Here Comes The Sun by JennLynn77 (E, 32,126 w., 15 Ch. || Post S4/TFP, John Whump, Caring Sherlock, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friends to Lovers, Emotional Sex, First Time, Virgin Sherlock, Switchlock, Cuddling/Snuggling, Surgery/Injury Recovery, Endearments, Anal, Hand Jobs, Porn with Feels) – John suffers an injury and needs surgery. Sherlock, and those around him, help John recover. Along the way, John and Sherlock realise what they mean to each other, and what they’ve had together all this time.

A Change of Heart by SosoHolmesWatson (E, 65,436 w., 20 Ch. || Post-S4 / Canon Compliant, Jealous Sherlock, Past Abuse, Parentlock, Dev. Rel., Idiots in Love, Suicidal Sherlock, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Mollstrade, Coming Out, Love Confessions, Big Brother Mycroft, John’s Childhood, POV Alternating, First Kiss/Time, Virgin Sherlock, Hand Jobs) – After all they have been through, after all the heartbreak and desolation, John and Sherlock want to make their way back to each other, still convinced that friendship is all that can exist between them. Will there be a change of heart? Part 1 of the The Pains of Growing series

Kintsukuroi by sussexbound (E, 91,823 w., 20 Ch. || S4 Compliant / Post-TLD, Grief / Mourning, PTSD, Internalized Homophobia, Therapy, Past Abuse, Alcohol Abuse, Nightmares, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Anxiety, Bed Sharing, Love Confessions, Cuddling, Suicidal Ideation, Masturbation, Minor Character Death, Sexting, Frottage, Inexperienced Sherlock, Rimming / Anal / BJ’s) – “I love you.” Sherlock sees the words hit John with almost physical force. He reels back a little, jaw twitching and eyes filling. “I love you,” he repeats, a little softer, a little more gentle, as earnest as he possibly can. Because they’ve been teetering on the brink of this thing for years, and it had become painfully obvious over the last few months that they were at a tipping point. This had to happen. Now it has. Now they can see where they end up. The tears in John’s eyes spill over, and he wipes at them angrily. “Do you even know what that means?”  

The Lost Special: Family Matters (As Do Relationships) by ShirleyCarlton   (M, 115,279+ w., 33/38 Ch. || WiP || S4 Fix It Fic, Unreliable Narrator, John’s Mind Bungalow, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending) – WORK IN PROGRESS – Sherrinford is not really the name of some high security prison. That was just a figment of John’s frantic coma dream. And Eurus is not actually Sherlock’s sister. That’s just something random she said to John before shooting him. Sherlock and John were never actually estranged. That was just their act to cover up what really happened to Mary – or Rosamund Moran, as her real name has turned out to be. Sherlock does have a secret sibling, though, and his name is Sherrinford. After finally eliminating Moran – though in a rather dramatically different way than they had envisioned – and exposing the truth about Eurus, John encourages Sherlock to delve into his past and to find out whether the reasons to keep Sherrinford away from Sherlock were the right ones, and to discover what really happened in 1981. Along the way, Sherlock and John gradually, finally, stop keeping each other at a distance, and eventually become a proper family of their own.

Radioactive Trees In A Red Forest by Maribor_Petrichor (E, 280,251 w., 73 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Post-S4, Suicidal Ideations, Alcohol / Rx Drug Abuse, Coming Out / Bisexual John, Seizures, Past/Referenced/Implied Child Abuse, Hallucinations, Rehab, Celibacy, Sobriety / Relapse, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers, Grief/Mourning, Psychological Trauma, Nice /Not Anti-Mary, John’s POV, Parentlock, First Time, Angst, Switchlock, Angst with Happy Ending) – John Watson is what happens when a man can no longer see a reason to go on. John Watson is what happens when a man starts to let go. “It is what it is.” John Watson is what happens when what “it is” becomes too much to bear. This is a story of the life, death, and resurrection of John Hamish Watson.

[coll2mitts]

#65 Beauty and the Beast (2017)

I’m burning through my Disney+ subscription, and instead of this forever cursing my drafts section until I work my way through the other lower movies on this list, you’re getting this one now.

Beauty and the Beast was my favorite Disney movie as a child.  Belle was smart, she read a lot, and she was a bit of an outcast, which were my only identifiers as a wee lass (other than being obnoxious and constantly having tangled hair).  I'm going to bet that this movie is the reason so many girls my age went through a Paris phase in their tween years.  I did take 3 years of high school French that I have almost no memory of.  

The original's animation is gorgeous, the songs by Alan Menken and Howard Ashman are iconic, and the romance between two people who learn how to trust and support each other... it's probably the reason why I've stayed in terrible relationships for way too long.  My father took me to see this movie in theaters when I was 6, and it is the first movie I remember crying during out of sadness.  There I was, while the Beast was dying, trying to hide the fact tears were streaming down my face because I didn't want my dad to see I was crying and not take me to see another movie again.  When they adapted it for Broadway, I listened to that soundtrack over and over...  "Home" was my favorite song, and the end still makes me cry like a 6-year-old.  It's perfect.

I had attempted to watch this remake once before.  I hated it so much I started drinking, and then peaced out so hard when Lumiere started moving that I had to watch Moana to normalize myself.  Visually, this movie is what happens when the Uncanny Valley turns into the fucking Grand Canyon.  Little did I know that this movie gets worse... much worse... as it goes on, and that Stephen Chbosky, the author and director of The Perks of Being a Wallflower made it this way.  A man who wrote one of my most beloved novels and movie adaptations helped in creating this narrative monstrosity, and that, out of all of this, was the deepest cut of all.

I'm not rehashing the plot, because I have too much to say about why this remake shouldn't exist, and I’m going to guess you’ve either seen the movie or are familiar with this almost 300-year-old story.  It took the source material and just murdered it in its attempts to update it.  I'm going to start positive and work toward the biggest issue I had with it, because I'm currently writing angry and that never turns out well for me.

Things I liked:

This may be controversial, but I did like Josh Gad's performance as LeFou.  I'm not saying what LeFou did made any sense (he suddenly was upset Gaston was making things up again?), but as an actor, Josh Gad was working with what he had, and I think he owned it.

Chip's introduction to Maurice - I actually paused the movie because I was laughing so hard.

The piano playing the funeral march when it tackled LeFou.

When Mrs. Potts said Chip smelled good when he turned back into a little boy.  It was a cute little detail.

The guillotine joke in "Be Our Guest" and the Les Miserables barricade reference.

I actually thought Cogsworth was adorable for being a CGI nightmare.  I don't know how much of my opinion of this was influenced by the voice of Ian McKellan.

I really liked the costumes, except for Belle's gown, which was definitely a downgrade.  Micarah articulated the issues with it perfectly.

Celine Dion singing the credits song was a nice homage to her cover of "Beauty and the Beast", although it sucks she's associated with this nightmare of a remake.

Little quibbles:

Whatever they did to Emma Watson’s voice made her sound like a robot.

Almost all the CGI, especially the Beast, was completely unsettling.  The wardrobe was the worst of it, holy shit.

They went out of their way to explain plot holes like "Why don't the villagers remember the castle?" or “Why is it snowing when it looks like the middle of summer in the village?” or "How did Belle get the Beast up on that horse?" when none of that really matters to the overall narrative.

The reaction to Belle teaching a little girl how to read was unbelievably eye-roll inducing.  Lindsay Ellis' video on this is so fucking good, watch it now - You don't have to read the rest of my ramblings if you do. #beastforshe

Ariana Grande slurring her way through "Beauty and the Beast".

It was nice to see Maurice updated from a manic inventor to a level-headed, sweet, competent, reserved man who treats his daughter like an equal.  Clock-maker Maurice that actually takes care of Belle reads better to me, and I like how they had him wander into the garden to get a rose for her - it's a nice callback to the original story.  The problem with doing this, however, is it negates the "crazy old Maurice" narrative that plays heavily into why the villagers don't believe his tale of the Beast in the first place.  If Kevin Kline, a put-together man (up until this point), wandered into the tavern looking disheveled and conveying a story about his daughter being kidnapped, I'd be like, "Shit, Maurice, what did you see?!".  But instead, the story goes out of its way to put him at the mercy of Gaston, and shoehorn in an attempted murder plot to really turn everyone against him - it's bizarre.

Medium quibbles:

Gaston went from being a well-liked, athletically inclined dude to a literal predator and murderer.  Belle was a beautiful status symbol in the original movie, but she becomes literal game to Gaston in the remake, as he refers to her as prey, or something to be hunted.  When Maurice gets in-between him and Belle, Gaston punches him in the face and leaves him out in the forest to be eaten by wolves?!  What does this add to the story?!  Gaston wasn't right for Belle because he wasn't kind and didn't intellectually stimulate her, but that nuance is wasted on the remake, turning him into a full-blown vengeful villain that will literally kill Belle's family to get what he wants.

The first time Belle is brought to her room, there is this long panning shot showing off how nice it is, and she comments, in wonder, how she thinks its beautiful.  They had the fucking nerve to play “Home” in the background of this scene, completely ignoring the original context of the song is sadness and despair.  But go off, I guess...

The Big Enchilada:

This is where my notes went from eh????? to WHAT THE FUCK, so be prepared.  How someone with enough emotional maturity to write Perks can make the Beast into such an abusive asshole is so fucking beyond me, I'm still trying to process it.

Beauty and the Beast is a romance at heart, which you would never know by watching this movie, as Belle and the Beast have so little chemistry it's painful.  This might be because the Beast is abusive to Belle at every turn in the beginning, making the pivot from enemies to lovers so completely unbelievable it's shocking.  The remake is already at a deficit as the CGI Beast is terrifying, in contrast with the cartoon, which has the ability to make the Beast cuddly with big eyes and an expressive face.  But they still decide to take all of the Beast's inner conflict out of the remake, remove his agency completely out of the relationship with Belle, and make him supremely unlikable in every interaction they have together.

There are a few scenes that illustrate this, starting with the dinner invitation scene:

In the original, the Beast sees the pain he's inflicted by pulling Belle away from her father, and offers her a tour of the castle and a bedroom instead of a prison cell.  He also invites her to dine with him, although he could have gone about it wayyyy better.  He confides in his staff that she is beautiful, and he realizes she can break the spell, but he doesn't know how to appeal to her.  His staff give him tips on how to be charming and not so intimidating.  He is receptive, but overwhelmed, because he hasn't had to interact with any other human in years.  When he discovers she doesn't plan on eating with him, his anger takes over because she refused his hospitality, and he's a king, so how dare she?  The staff try to help him appear genteel, cause again, HE expressed interest in being appealing to her.  When this doesn't immediately work, he throws a massive tantrum and tells them not to feed her.  When he looks at Belle later in the mirror, he hears the direct result of his actions as Belle is ranting to the wardrobe.  He laments she'll never see him as a human because his actions have pushed her away.

In the remake, it's not the Beast’s idea to give Belle a room, or to invite her to dinner - it is his staff's intervening that puts him in that situation in the first place.  He doesn't even want to get to know her because she's a daughter of a thief, and that's somehow below his current social status of recluse animal/human hybrid.  His staff persuade him to give Belle a chance as they're all invested in breaking the spell because they'll turn into furniture if they don't!  They give him tips to manipulate her into opening the door, he tries it, it fails spectacularly, he gets angry and he leaves - but not before calling his staff idiots...  I appreciate he's not as physically violent in this version, but he just acts like he couldn’t be bothered with Belle.  He does spy on her from the mirror, but she looks bewildered.  He doesn't know if she's lonely, or missing her father, or what...  There's no indication that how he treated her in that moment has pushed her further away.  Then he just stares at the rose like, "Well, shit, this ticking time bomb is still ticking!".  It's completely self-focused.

Oh, and then Mrs. Potts tries to handwave the Beast’s behavior away with, "People say a lot of things in anger.  It is our choice whether or not to listen," which, excuse me, WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK DOES THAT MEAN?!  You are in charge of how to interpret someone's actions, and you could just choose to ignore when they are being abusive??  I CAN'T.  She also tries to gaslight Belle into seeing how great the Beast is when Belle has had zero positive interactions with the dude since she's been there.  The wardrobe brings it up in the original, but this is after he's offered Belle a room and invited her to dinner himself, not by his staff...

The west wing scene and the Beast turning into less of a dick:

In the original, the Beast himself tells Belle not to go to the west wing.  Her curiosity brings her there, because she wants to understand more about him and what he is hiding.  She's invading his space knowing full well that she is invading his space.  When she is discovered, she's about to fuck around with something that is literally tied with the Beast's livelihood.  His anger is disproportionate, but justified, and you see that he immediately regrets his reaction after she runs away from him.  That’s why he goes after her.  Belle watches him risk his life to save her even though she broke a promise to him, so she decides to repay the favor by bringing him back.  They fight while she's trying to clean his wound, and they're both right in their perspectives, but the Beast acknowledges that yes, his temper got the best of him - he realized that the moment she bolted.  Belle then rewards his selfless act by thanking him, which sets his entire transformation in motion.  

He gives her the library because he expresses interest in doing something to make her happy, and he vocalizes he's falling in love with her.  He's delighted by her reaction.  During the ballroom scene, the way he looks at her, you can see he absolutely adores her.  He asks, "Are you happy here with me?" because he loves her, and her well-being is the most important thing.

In the remake, the staff tell Belle not to got to the west wing because it's a storage area.  She wanders over there anyway, for whatever fucking reason, and takes a glance at the rose behind the glass.  The Beast finds her looking at it and gets mad at her, even though he never told her not to visit him in the west wing, and she didn't fuck around with the rose.  When she runs away, he doesn't even look like he cares.  There is no reason for him to go after her, and there is no reason for her to help him back to the castle other than the plot told them to do it.  She doesn't help him with his wounds, and the staff are the ones to thank her for returning him.  She even asks the staff why the fuck they care about him, because he's such an asshole.  They justify his behavior because he had a cruel father, and damn themselves to his fate because they didn't stop a literal monarch from raising his son.  Belle continues to take care of him because she pities him?  He repays her kindness by insulting her taste in literature.

He doesn't even show her the library because he knows she likes books, he does it because he wants her to read "better" books.  Then he makes one joke about not reading Greek and THAT IS WHAT MAKES BELLE SWOON.  THE FUCKING GREEK BOOK JOKE.  I mean, I sort of get it, I fell in love with my ex because he made a bread pun, but he hadn't been continually abusive to me up until that point.  Belle starts to read out loud to him, and that's supposed to be the event that incentives the Beast to be better?  Even while Belle is singing about how much he's changed (he hasn't), he throws a boulder of snow in her face. The cherry on top of this sundae is his stoic question after they dance, "It's foolish, I suppose, for a creature like me to hope that one day he might earn your affection?" which not only sounds like complement fishing, it is primarily motivated by breaking the curse!  Only after she gives an indifferent answer does he ask if she'd be happy at the castle.

Oh god, and the death scene is cut off in the middle because we have to watch 2 minutes of the staff members permanently turning into furniture, which, like, I wouldn't think they'd want to castrate the emotional climax of the movie, but this whole thing is an exercise on how to fuck something already good up.

This movie fails so spectacularly at this basic love story, I can't begin to justify its existence.  I wouldn't recommend this to anybody.  If you want to watch new Alan Menkin content, watch Galavant, because this movie just pissed me off.

It was bold of Disney to end it with a beastiality joke, though.

[amethxxt]

My thoughts on D3

It took me so long to finally write this, I don’t know why. But let’s get started.

First, all I wanna say is that I liked the movie, I thought it was good but as always, there are a lot of things that should/shouldn’t have happened and that we need to talk about.

I wanna start saying that VK Day wasn’t really important in my opinion. Dizzy had received an invitation at the end of D2 so we knew she would be coming, but why, WHY, the whole application thing happened? VK Day happened ONCE, and it doesn’t really have a reason to happen. They could’ve kept sending invitations to the VKs they wanted.

The whole VK Day thing is so, so wrong and it didn’t make sense in the movie.

Getting out of and abusive place with abusive people shouldn’t be turned into a contest;

Do you think all of the kids would be able to fill out an application? That all of the parents would let their kids participate?;

What about people who don’t know how to write/read and what about babies and little kids?;

When the Cour Four announce which kids were chosen, it was so weird to see the VKs cheering and clapping, never looking disappointed, sad or angry. I know I would feel terrible if I hadn’t been chosen. And how was everyone suddenly in love with the Core Four when in the last movie they said they weren’t really welcome on the isle?

Moving on, there’s Ben proposing to Mal. All I can’t think of is that maybe it’s too soon? I mean, D2 was about Mal not feeling like herself, like she didn’t belong to Auradon and not being able to handle being Lady of the Court but in D3 she’s totally okay with being Queen? But alright, let’s do this for the sake of the plot.

We see the new VKs and omg they are adorable, the twins are the custest and Dizzy and Celia’s friendship, I’m here for it.

Uma. My savior, my soulmate, the love of my life. She was gorgeous and Harry was so in love with her, no one can tell me otherwise. They finally showed her true intentions (we knew them already but people needed to finally see SHE ISN’T A VILLAIN). All she wants is for all the kids to be free at once and not having to wait god knows how long for that to happen.

Now talking about Mal and Uma’s friendship...

Yeah okay, sure, the scenes were good, we saw more of Uma and all that, but... Do you really think it would be that easy? The girl bullied you for 7 years and betrays you 3 times. But after one day together all is forgiven? 

That’s what Disney needs to understand: you can be mad at people if they deserve it, you don’t need to forgive them if they don’t deserve it. Your feelings are valid and forgiveness takes time. They showed this with Maya and her dad in Girl Meet World, so why not in Descendants? Some kinds of forgiveness don’t come so easily.

To forgive someone, that person has to say they’re sorry. Mal never says she’s sorry for what she’s done to Uma. Mal and Ben don’t say they’re sorry for what they did to Audrey. The only person who hears Mal say “I’m sorry” is Evie. 

When Mal decides to close the barrier forever they don’t have a meeting about it. What Ben says suddenly doesn’t matter and there is no council and Evie (the king’s counselor) isn’t there to say what she thinks. Mal, Belle, Beast and Fairy Godmother agree with it and that’s it.

I saw a post here that made me realise that if they closed the barrier forever, they would basically kill everyone there since there wouldn’t be food. What. The, Fuck. Mal.

What else does she have to do for people finally realise she is selfish. It doesn’t matter if Mal’s your favorite character, she has flaws and she is so, so selfish. If you think that she was the selfless hero for deciding to bring the barrier down at the end, please, that was that was the bare minimum.

If you wanna talk about a selfless hero, how about Uma? The girl who had been free since D2 and was still trying to find a way to free the VKs, the girl who helped the Cour Four save Auradon because that place was their only hope. And the girl who was willing to go back to an abusive place, knowing she would never get out, so she could protect it, giving up her freedom.

But, yeah, I guess Mal’s the hero.

Now let’s talk about Hades. Ah, Hades. Mal’s daddy.

I knew, you knew, everyone knew. But I had a little hope it wouldn’t be true. I’m gonne be honest, yeah, the scenes were cute, I’m sure the song is gonna get stuck in my head at some point but I don’t think I’ll ever completely like the idea.

Because I can’t get over the fact that this was lazy writing. Now, I’m far from the best writer in the world but the books told us Mal’s dad was a human. Since D1 there was no evidence that Mal was related to Hades. No blue hair, no blue flames, nothing, zero.

Suddenly, she knows he is her father and Evie knows too. What? I thought that the least they could do was Mal finding out that her father is Hades but the fact that she already knew makes no sense. She knew and never tried to see if she had any power like his? If they had given us any kind of hint it would be better. Like, during her fight with Uma at the Cotillion, when she turns into a dragon, what if the fire was blue? There would theories about it.

But there was nothing, which means they had no plans of Hades being Mal’s father and just decided that would be good when she needed the ember. Come on Disney, there wasn’t any other way for them to get the ember? The VKs couldn’t just steal it? After the barrier is down he helps Audrey and yay, party.

He didn’t have to be her father for the story to work. But they want Mal to be powerful, they want her to be the best character, so why not make her the child of a god?

Here are some other things I think about the movie:

Audrey was amazing. If you think she didn’t have the right to be upset, you’ve watched it wrong. Go back to D1 and do it again;

Her grandmother is the worst, she says she’s sorry to Mal but doesn’t say it to her own granddaughter after she hurted her feelings and put so much pressure on her;

Ben’s crown still looks like plastic. Why didn’t they change that? And the CGI of the dragon, omg. It’s never perfect but it was worse than D1 and D2;

We should’ve seen more of Jay, Carlos and Evie. 

Gil is my baby, I love and will protect him. He’s precious.

The huma moments, thank you Disney.

But why imply that Audrey and Harry are something else at the very end? People just need one second to forget about all the hugs and cute moments Harry and Uma had;

Queen Of Mean if the best song and no one can change my mind;

Also, Celia is Uma’s Dizzy and no one can change my mind;

I missed Lonnie and they could’ve done something with her like they did with Audrey calling Chad in D2;

Dr. Facilier and Celia were adorable.

The tribute to Cameron was beautiful and it made me cry. I miss him.  (https://thecameronboycefoundation.networkforgood.com/)

I thinks that’s it for now. Like I said, I liked the movie but we need to talk about these things. If you’ve read this, I hope you liked it.

[i-say-vol-you-say-tron]

How to Write Romance by Someone Who Has No Idea What They’re Doing

Hi. I’m Lilly, and I run this garbage heap of a blog. I’ve decided to start a series of tips on tropes I’ve come across in books and movies, and I would appreciate it if you could send requests on what you want to hear about. There is a slight mention of rape and abuse, as some people still think these are valid romantic tropes, but that should be all for warnings. Thank you!

Reminder that tumblr doesn’t like the word f*ck, so it’s censored. No funny business in the comments.

ALL THESE TROPES, REGARDLESS OF WHAT THEY ARE REFERRED TO, ARE MEANT TO APPLY TO ALL GENDERS AND SEXUALITIES. ANYBODY CAN BE A GOOD PERSON, AND ANYONE CAN BE A PIECE OF SHIT.

(Trigger warning) Abuse/Rape

Note: I do not condone abuse or rape in any situation. I do not excuse it whether it was done by a man or a woman. However, I recognize that this is a thing that happens to real people and is also used in fictional works. This is not a proper resource for writing abuse/rape victims, and I encourage you to do further research on this topic if you wish to write about it.

Do Not: Have the character afflicted give their abuser “a chance to change their ways”. Not one single chance. Chances lead to abuse happening more than once, letting the cycle repeat. Stop it. Don’t use rape as shock value. Don’t have the rape victim fall in love with their rapist. It’s disgusting and demeaning to those who are actual rape victims.

Do: Have your character afflicted identify that they’re being abused - whether physically, emotionally, or mentally. Have them get out of the situation as soon as they can. Let your character deal with the trauma. Have them flinch, get panic attacks, be afraid to enter a relationship. Use their past abuse as a motive for them to work for a better life for themselves.

Stockholm Syndrome (aka “abductor/abductee” or “master/slave”)

Do Not: There are mainly don’ts for this, and do I really need to say why? Denying someone human rights is not okay. Treating someone as an object is not okay. Forcing someone to love you is not okay. I would usually just advise to ignore this trope altogether, but I actually have two ways of this trope done correctly (so read the do’s before commenting)

Do: Two examples of how to do this right are “Beauty and the Beast” and “The Ancient Magus’ Bride”. Neither woman in these stories is treated like an object, abused, or had their freedom taken away. Belle from BatB is allowed to roam the castle, use its library, and request food and drink whenever she wants. Chise from TAMB sold herself into slavery and was bought by someone who not only treated her as an equal, but used every resource at his disposal to help prolong her life. Both of these women are treated with equality, respect, and their feelings developed naturally and not by force.

Amnesia

Do Not: Have someone manipulate the amnesiac’s memories/feelings. This is forcing romantic opinions on someone who has probably just gone through something traumatic. If you do choose to have someone manipulate the amnesiac, make it clear that they are the antagonist and not the love interest. Do not have someone pretend to be in a romantic relationship with them prior to their accident. This is emotional manipulation.

Do: If the amnesiac had a relationship prior to this accident, have them go slow. Have them be aware of the situation and attempt to be helpful. Have them realize the protagonist might be uncomfortable if they were to start acting as a couple right away.

Blackmail (“Date me or else”)

Just don’t. It’s creepy and weird and legitamtely terrifying. Feel free to use it for drama, but not for romance.

Enemies to Lovers (or hero/villain)

Do Not: Have them be abusive. Abuse is not cute. It is not justified in any situation, no matter how much you hate someone. Even if you claim to love them, that doesn’t justify hurting them in any way, shape, or form.

Do: Have them realize that they might not hate each other. Slowly construct a healthy relationship. Start with having three tentatively work together. Have them harmlessly tease each other until they realize the other isn’t as bad as they thought.

Boy Hates Girl (“He’s mean to you because he loves you”/“Boys will be boys”)

Do Not: Let the bully have romantic attention. Something like this is a gateway to abusive relationships. If you allow someone to show their “love” by hurting someone, then you are failing at showing them how to deal with feelings in a healthy way. The bully doesn’t learn how to express their feelings properly and the victim doesn’t learn that this kind of relationship is toxic and wrong.

Do: Have the victim fall for someone that treats them write. Make sure this new person is genuinely kind and helpful, and that they are someone who doesn’t use the bully’s actions as a fear tactic.

Celibate (“I choose not to fall in love.....except with that one person”)

Do Not: Have someone pressure the celibate into being in a relationship. They made a vow, they chose what they want to do with their life. Respect that choice and move on.

Do: Have the celibate develop close platonic relationships with those around them. Use this trope to focus on character development rather than romance.

Long Distance Relationship

Do Not: Use this for drama. Do not have one partner accuse the other of cheating while they are away. Do not have them actually cheat while their partner is away. I suggest to avoid this trope unless you have a valid, well-written reason for keeping the characters apart. Alternatively, you could use the long distance aspect as a reason for two characters to break up, due to the idea that they’re drifting apart over the distance, but stay away from unfaithfulness as it’s tired and overdone.

Do: Have them be lovey-dovey despite not having seen each other in ages. Have them still be engaged in their relationship no matter how little time they spent together. Have them dote on each other because they won’t be able to stay for long. Have them book a flight only to see the other for a few hours before heading back to where they came from.

Love at First Sight/True Love/Soulmates

Do Not: Have them fall in love immediately. Sounds weird, but relationships take time. Mirror real life. You wouldn’t marry someone you just met (eat your heart out Disney). Even people in arranged marriages take time to know the other person and make sure they actually like them and they’re not a piece of shit.

Do: Have them spend time with each other. Have them learn each other’s interests and likes. Have them become friends before starting a romance.

Cheating (just read before commenting)

Do Not: Have the protagonist find their “true love” by cheating on their partner. It’s not dangerous and sexy, it’s immoral and wrong.

Do: Have the protagonist be cheated on. Want to reveal that a side character is a piece of shit? Now you know how to do that. If your protagonist falls in love with someone else, have them let down their current partner easily. At least have them think things through before breaking it off, or even have them realize it’s just a stupid crush and that they should stay with their current partner.

Love Triangle

Do Not: Just don’t. It’s been done to death. Let it die. It’s also weird. “Hey I like two people and I can’t choose. Fight over me.” Like wtf? If someone did that to me, I’d be out of there in an instance. Have fun with the other person, because I’m never talking to you again.

Do: Write a healthy poly relationship instead. Don’t like it, I don’t care. This is my list.

Fridge (“My partner is dead and I’m on a mission to avenge them”)

Do Not: Have them fall in love after being immediately introduced to the love interest. They just lost someone they loved - they don’t need a replacement. Don’t have your live interest try to seduce them or pressure them.

Do: Have them fall in love.....later. Much later. Like “Book Two” later. Let them grieve. Let them mourn. Give them time to heal.

The Nice Guy

This is the person that is absolutely terrible, but still believes they’re entitled to date people because they’re “such a nice guy”. Someone literally juust died because of this, so please stop using it as a romantic thing.

Do Not: Make this person the love interest.

Do: Make this person an antagonist/villain/random annoyance. An example of this done right is the movie Megamind.

The Age Gap

There are different variations of this trope, so I’m going to list all the versions I can think of:

Do Not: ⁃ Pedophile: Have an adult character date someone who is a minor. This includes minors who “look/act mature for their age”. It’s still illegal you sickos. This also included teenagers putting advances on people older than them. ⁃ Immortal/mortal: 300+ monster dating an eighteen year old (I’m looking at you Twilight)

Do: ⁃ They’re both young, but consenting, legal, and a few years apart (ex. 18 + 19/20) ⁃ Both are consenting, legal, but are older adults with a larger gap (ex. someone in their 30s and someone in their 40s)

Opposites Attract

Do Not: Have one person invested in the relationship and one person doing f*ck all. An example of this would be two roommates. You wouldn’t want one doing all the housework while the other sits on their ass and does absolutely nothing. “Opposites attract” means personality traits, not willingness to be in a relationship. It also means don’t do “ugly vs pretty”, “plain vs interesting”, etc.

Do: Have their personality traits vary. Have one be organized and the other scatterbrained. Have one like chocolate and the other vanilla. Have them argue over what type of music is better. Have them differ on little things.

Please send me requests on what you want me to do next!