#ben barnes blurb

[shh-shh-secretagent]

rip James Potter & Sirius Black you would of loved the Mamma Mia! movies ✊😔

[jj-5656]

Illuminated With; Sirius Black

A/N: Hello again! I know I’m on a James kick atm, but I wrote this in my notes ages ago with Sirius in mind, and it only seemed right to keep it as his. Besides, Sirius is undoubtedly a girl dad, nothing can be said to change my mind. Also, the names of the Black family follow the stars and constellations as many of you know, so if you find the girls’ names unique, that’s why. I really just want to give these characters a happy ending. So this is all absolutely canon in my mind. Anyways, enjoy! 

T/W: Slight, slight mentions of childhood abuse and details of injury. This one is on the shorter side, shockingly. NOT PROOFREAD YET. 

          “It’s her teething Lill’s” you shush your six month old between sentences, “it’s been much worse than what I remember from Nova and Maia.

“Poor thing, Harry had a lot of trouble too.” Lilly is solemn on the other line, you can hear water running from yet another load of dishes. “Hun, would you please-” she’s interrupted with an onload of kisses, giggling the whole time.

“Hi, James.” You smile fondly at his antics, hearing them cease on the other side.

“Whose been preoccupying my lovely wife the past hour? I’m not fond of sharing, you know.”

“She was my best friend first, Prongs.”

“Well Pads was my best friend first.”

“Touché, Potter.” You rummage through the freezer for another teething ring, turning on your heel in realization. “It’s quiet in my house.” You mutter, mostly to yourself.

“Too quiet.” Lilly finishes, any parent aware of it’s meaning.

Just then, your two older daughters waddle into the room. Tiny bodies swamped in ties and suit jackets belonging to their father. Each wearing a pair of his dress shoes on the wrong foot.

“Merlin, they really do grow up so fast. I have two businesswomen in my house.” The girls trip over their own feet, giggling the whole way to the kitchen and smiling big for your camera.

“Take pictures, y/n! I want to see the babies!” James shouts on the other end of the line, no doubt hovering over his wife with excitement. “Lill’s, why don’t we try for another? They have us beat by a landslide!”

“We’re wildly outnumbered, James. Besides, Sirius practically makes a fourth child.”

“Fourth child?” Sirius holds his bike helmet against his waist, kicking off his boots in the mud room before entering. “Is this how I find out you’re pregnant again?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Harry, sweetheart. Don’t touch that-” there’s a clatter on their end, what sounds like, from your unfortunate experience, a drink spill. Harry begins to cry, and there’s immediate cooing from James in the background. “Merlin, I’ll have to catch up with you later. Maybe a visit to the park tomorrow, or some tea at the house?”

“Sounds lovely, the girls miss Harry dearly.”

“Hear that, Harry? Your cousins want to see you.” This calms the distant crying, and there’s a small shout of excitement from Prongs, eager for another round of tea parties.

“Talk to you later, Lill’s. Love you.”

“Love you!” The line drops, and you can give your full attention to the scene going on in front of you. Sirius scans the room in a feigned panic, looking behind couch cushions and cupboard cabinets in search of your daughters.

“Sweetheart, we’ve lost the children!” He shakes your shoulders, pressing a kiss to Ophelia’s head as she drools on her teething ring.

“I’m sure they’re around somewhere.” And, of course, the five and two year old are stood right at your feet, overcome with laughter. Sirius crouched to get to their level, grabbing each one of their hands.

“Young ladies, you must help me find my daughters! Merlin, how could I live a life with only one of my three princesses?”

“We’re right here, daddy.” Maia assures through a mouthful of thumb. Nova frowns, not wanting to blow the cover of what she believes is an effective disguise.

Your husband is still in his biking outfit, never having rid himself of the dangerous hobby. It took a lot of convincing, but you’ve managed to compromise on the motorcycle. You’ve come to understand it’s an outlet for him, a sense of freedom and adventure he needed so badly as a kid, that sometimes still lingers in adulthood. You run your fingers through his dampened, messy locks. Unsurprisingly, even helmet hair looks good on Sirius Black.

“What, where are you?” It even gets you laughing, the melodramatics as he whips his head around the room, utterly confused. Maia slips out her (fathers) jacket, engulfing him in a hug. “Oh, my sweet girl! Where were you?” He lifts her shirt so her belly shows, blowing raspberries into the soft skin as she squeals. “Wait a minute now.” As if he’s put all the pieces together, Sirius tugs off your oldest daughters jacket, gasping at the reveal. He lunges for her, but she’s quick, bolting off down the hall and screaming the whole way.

“What are we gonna do with them, Lia?” You use her bib to wipe the dribble off her chin, overcome with absolute adoration when she beams brightly through her ring, as if she’s understood you. Little white bumps, peeks of oncoming teeth, protruding from her gums.

********

He’s wrestling Nova into her pajamas when you notice. The undeniable wince that flashes across his face when her foot kicks against his rib cage. 

You’re in the nursery across the hall, swaying Ophelia to sleep in hopes to spend time with your older two before their bed time. Sirius recovers quickly, sending you that award-winning smile he’s utilized to get out of any trouble your entire relationship. Pretty privilege works hard, but not hard enough. 

When your youngest settles down, Maia insists on hot chocolate and an episode of Bluey. An accidental the four of you have stumbled upon the past week. Admittedly, the children’s show has even you and your husband hooked. The girls settle on the couch with their assortment of blankets and favorite stuffed animals, hair still damp from the night’s bath. Sirius stalks into the kitchen, watching as you stir the pot of steaming milk on the stove. 

“Would you mind grabbing the cocoa? I can’t reach it on that top shelf.” He’s instant in his obedience, allowing you to finally scope what’s caused him injury. When his shirt rides up and exposes his toned stomach, a flash of deep purple spreads against his skin. You lower the stoves’ heat, wordlessly approaching him. 

“Eager, are we?” He’s got the audacity to crack a joke, unable to push your searching hands away with their swiftness. Pulling up the fabric of his white pajama shirt and exposing the developing bruise. 

“Sirius.” You’re stifling, voice heavy with anger but low enough so the girls enamored with the television can’t hear. 

“Baby, I promise it’s really noth-” He’s interrupted by his own whine when you press into the tender skin, clutching your wrist tightly with no real ill-will. You rip away from his grasp, appalled. 

“That fucking bike.” 

“It was a small spill, honest! I forgot the protection spell because Remus called and-” 

“I’m not interested in a single excuse, Sirius.” His name sounds sour on your lips, his heart twingeing with guilt and hurt. He hates when you use it like that, the usual sweet and soft sound of it far from use. 

“I may be a little out of practice with the healing charms, but-”

“No, Sirius, This is not something magic can fix. You lied to me.” 

“I didn’t lie.” Hie eyes narrow, voice taught in defense. “I just didn’t tell you. Because I knew this would happen.” He presses his lips together, realizing he’s just sorely hammered the nail to the fucking coffin. Your brows shoot up in bewilderment, almost amused with his valor. 

“What would happen? I get right-effing pissed because you’ve been this reckless?” Sometimes you wish he’d yell. But he hasn’t, probably never will. He promised forever ago to never let your children see what he had to, make you feel the way he did all those years ago. It took a long time, for you to be able to argue and not raise your voice at him. The first time he flinched was enough to eternally eradicate the option in your mind. 

“I forgot! I simply forgot one time, love. Don’t you think you’re overreacting just a bit, considering it was just a little spill and I’m fine?” The latter comes out a little frustrated, and he regrets the words as soon as they leave his mouth. You snatch a dish towel from the counter, rubbing at an invisible stain in a scattered frenzy. 

“Overreacting? You think I’m overreacting?” You ever think what that conversation would look like for me, Sirius? If you took more than just a ‘little spill’ without the charms and I-” You falter, sick. “And I had to sit our girls down and tell them you-” You stop yourself completely, outright nauseated at the thought. Sirius takes a step forward, any frustration crumbling as soon as he notices your eyes get glossy. You put an arm out, skin singing with anger and hurt. He listens, instead of you he clutches the countertop, knuckles white with need. 

“Love.” He says it gentle, slick with sweetness, hoping to ease the situation if at all possible. “I just forgot, I’m so sorry. If you want me to get rid of the bike-”

“It’s not about the bike, Siri.” You shake your head, forlorn chuckle passing your lips. “You cannot be careless like that. You can’t be reckless anymore. We have babies; they need you. I need you.” It’s a whisper at best, voice cracking with the strain in your throat as you contain your conflicting emotions. 

“I know, I know, baby. I need you too. It was stupid, really stupid.”

“Moronic, thoughtless, daft-”

“Every bad adjective in the book, yeah?” Your head involuntarily perks at his words. What you said to him the first time you met...

 ***********

You were studying in the library when the notorious bachelor of a fifth year approached you. He’d flirted, shamelessly at that. And you hadn’t given him even the slightest time of day. 

“I know you, Sirius Black. You’re that womanizer Gryffindor.”

“So I’m famous amongst you witches then?”

“Something like that.” You clutch your quill in hand, responding to his mischievous smirk with an unamused grimace.

“So what, you won’t give any guy with a reputation a chance? C’mon love, every good bookworm knows you don’t judge one by it’s cover.” He drums a ring-adorned set of fingers against your textbook, whilst you do little to veil the rolling of your eyes. 

“I’m not daft, every witch in Hogwarts knows better than to give the likes of you an opportunity. Charming, evasive, fleeting-”

“Fleeting,” he clutches his chest, lips falling into a pout. “Beautiful stranger, you wound me.” He slides his arms over the table, leaning down so his head is much closer to yours. Hopeful brown eyes searching yours for any signs of surrender. You match his energy, looming over so that the gap between you is even smaller. unrelenting in your distasteful glare. 

“You’re every bad adjective in the book, Sirius Black.”

*********

He smiles. That soft, effortless grin that pulls you out of your daydream and at your heart just as it had when you were kids. Visions of potion classes and laughter-filled common rooms flood your senses. You blink, hard, pushing away the urge to allow yourself to be enveloped in his embrace. “Would you bring them their drinks? It’s almost their bedtime.”

“Baby-” 

“If you read them their story and get them down I’ll finish up in here.” Alluding to the array of dishes in the sink and other remnants of dinner scattered around the kitchen. 

“I could use my favorite girl to help-”

“Sirius, please.” The way his name escapes your lips sends another pang to his chest. Disappointed, strained, exhausted, and worst of all...Wounded. He studies you for a few more moments, deep brown eyes searching your features for any signs of surrender. Tongue brushing over his lips before he bows his head. Collecting the steaming mugs and headed toward the couch without another word. 

************

“Have we finally agreed on a book?” Sirius wipes off the excess toothpaste from the sink of your daughter’s bathroom before he enters the colorful bedroom. 

“Will you tell us one of yours, daddy?” The two stare hopeful at their father, well aware the puppy eyes will reward them with exactly what they want. He tosses them both into one bed, heart warming at the giggles that ensue. If you were here, you’d chastise him half-heartedly for riling them up at bedtime. 

“Alright then,” He slides in next to them, allowing them to shuffle into his sides. “Once upon a time-” Theres a chorus of groans as he pretends to be confused. 

“A real story, dad.” Your oldest shoves at his chest, cheeks rosy with amusement despite the annoyance. 

“This is a real story! The one with the princess and the dragon-” 

“No, a good one! Like how you met mummy!” 

“With the shapes in the sky!” Your toddler chimes in, words muffled between her thumb. Sirius gently pulls the appendage from her mouth with a pointed look, his meek attempt to break her habit. 

“Alright, alright. we’ll do the one where I met mummy.” 

**********

There’s soft voices from the girl’s room as you head upstairs, slightly annoyed to know they’re awake past their bedtime. Your husband’s enchanting voice pulls you out of it, feet taking you to the bedroom down the hall subconsciously. A blue-hued light trickles into the corridor, coming more clear when you push open the door. Your girls are huddled around their father, eyes illuminated with astonishment as they observe the array of holograph-like shapes dancing across the ceiling. Sirius flicks his wand in hand every now and then to keep the spell ongoing during his story. 

“She sent me letters almost every day after we met in the library. Said I was the most charming, handsome wizard in the whole school.” He amuses even himself with the fib-riddled retelling. Satisfied with his own jesting delusions. 

“That’s definitely not how I remember it.” You add from the doorway, all three heads snapping toward you at the interjection. You giggle at their unison, how much your daughter’s mannerisms resemble that of their father. Heart swelling impossibly bigger when the visions above tenfold when Sirius sees you, hears your laugh. 

“You’re making them glow louder, mommy!” Maia shouts, both you and your husband smile fondly at her error of words. 

“She tends to have that effect on me, Dove.” His words are directed toward your daughter, but his eyes are on you. It’s truly a wonder, how after all these years Sirius Black still manages to give you butterflies. 

“Did dad forget to add the time he tried to ask me to the Yule ball in front of all our friends and ended up making it storm in the Great Hall?” 

“It was supposed to be snow, a Slytherin tampered with my spell!”

“Spoilers!” Nova shouts, covering her ears. You both laugh as you make your way toward the bed. Shooting a half-hearted glare at Sirius when he opens his arms and legs for you to sit with him. 

“It’s the only way you’ll fit.” He shrugs, doing little to conceal his need for affection. You give in, under three pairs of hopeful eyes. Carefully, you slip into the bed with them, scooting so you can put your back to Sirius’ chest. He releases a sigh, undoubtedly overcome with relief. 

The girls adjust themselves so they’re nestled on wither side of the pair of you, arguing over what apparition is the brightest when Sirius nudges the top of your head with his chin, a silent ask to look at him. Using his thumb and pointer finger on your jaw to have you face him. 

“I’ll never forget again.” He whispers so only you can hear, sincerity and emotion heavy in his tone. “I’m not going anywhere, my love. I promise.” You study his face, admiring his handsome features with a soft smile. Pressing a kiss to his cheek in wordless response. Mimicking your daughters, you look up at the ceiling so as to not let him see the moisture pricking at your eyes. He nudges at your jaw again, encapturing you in a real kiss. Cementing his promise. 

“Gross, no more!” Nova pushes at her father’s chest, but he insists, aiming to tease the lot of you as he deepens the embrace. 

“It’s making the lights too loud!” Maia covers her eyes, shielding them from the holographs. 

You finally manage to pull away, squinting at the oncoming change in lighting along with your daughters. 

“Siri, they’re right. Relax, I can barely see.” You attempt to push away the attack of kisses to your face and neck. The girls squealing to add to the chaos as Sirius pulls all of you impossibly closer. Managing to bunch together on the un-accommodating mattress. 

“What? I can’t love my girls this much? Is it such a crime to love you all?” A chorus of yelps ensue in response to his incessant pecks. All of you wincing when sounds of the baby’s crying erupt from the nursery. You’re about to hurry off the bed by instinct when a strong grip stops you. 

“I’ll get her, she needs to hear this story anyway.” Sirius scrambles from the bed like a giddy kid, eager to hold your youngest despite her only having been down an hour.  But not before blowing rasberries into your daughters cheek’s, ignoring their shouts in protest. He captures you in another kiss too, as if he’ll be gone any longer than thirty seconds. 

It’s no wonder Sirius is the brightest star in the night sky. 

[castlecult]

𝐝𝐚𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 : 𝐟𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐱

pairing : billy russo x fem!reader

warnings : +18, penetrative sex ( p in v ), not proofread lmao

event : kinktober 2022

“you okay?” he asked while positioning between your legs. “mhmh,” you nodded slowly, smiling timidly. you watched billy push up your skirt and then remove your panties, he pushed them away and smiled at you, kissing your nose.

“lemme know if you’re uncomfortable,” he said before pulling down his pants, freeing his hard cock. “i just want you,” you slipped towards his body, parted your legs and grabbed his hip.

billy moved his fingers to your center, spreading your wetness while circling your clit, making you squirm under his body. you lifted your hips from the cold floor, feeling yourself growing more and more excited. spreading your wetness on his length, he enjoyed the sensation for a few seconds while a low moan escaped his parted lips.

billy finally slipped inside you, making you moan and squirm. he waited for a moment, letting you adjust. you circled his neck with your arms, pulling him towards you. he got the hint and started thrusting into you, you kissed his lips and moaned into his mouth.

your hands ended up into his hair, grabbing and pulling it. billy groaned against your parted lips, seeking his release. his cock repeatedly hit the spot inside you that made you see stars. “fuck!” billy grabbed your neck, holding you while trying to keep the same rhythm.

you felt yourself growing more and more close to your orgasm, the squelching sound coming from your bodies connected became more louder. “b-billy…” you arched your back, your nails scratching his back. you reached your peak before him and almost passed out from the intensity of the orgasm.

slowly, billy let go of your neck and found himself on his knees. he pulled you closer, your backside pulled up from the floor. he kept thrusting his hips, you knew he was getting close too. billy focused his sight on your chest, enjoying your breasts moving up and down thanks to his movements.

his hands grabbed your hips and held you tightly. he finally came, releasing his seed inside your warm core while moaning deeply. his thrust slowed down while you clenched around his cock, milking him until the stimulation became too much for the both of you and he slipped out.

“oh my god,” you muttered before meeting his eyes. he was smirking down at you, before glancing at your pussy. he pushed his cum inside you again with two of his fingers, making you moan. “don’t want to make a mess on the floor, do you?” he chuckled lowly before leaning forward to kiss you, your hand caressing his cheek softly.

an : hello !! i know i’m super duper late but better late than never right? i’m not sure about writing for the other days bc i end up hating whatever i write so um, yeah … a tiny feedback would be appreciated i guess <3 thank you sm for reading !!

kinktober tag list : @alexxavicry @romanoffswebs-blog @withakindheartx

[wintersoldierslover]

my fic recs masterlist

---

Bucky Barnes:

all bucky barnes

headcanon  -  blurb  -  one-shot  -  series - two-parter

40s  -  The Winter Soldier  -  Avenger  -  TFATWS

dbf!bucky  -  brother’s bff  -  bff’s brother

neighbour  -  housewife reader

lumberjack  -  firefighter  -  bodyguard

priest bucky  -  college

football player  -  hockey player  -  boxer

professor  -  teacher  -  librarian/bookshop

coffee shop  -  soulmate  -  royal

other AUs  -  taboo

moodboard  -  deactivated:(

---

Stranger Things characters:

all eddie munson  -  all steve harrington

eddie and steve (x reader)

billy hargrove  -  jason carver  -  mike wheeler

dmitri enzo antonov  -  jim hopper

robin buckley  -  nancy wheeler

---

Outer Banks Characters:

all Rafe Cameron

all JJ Maybank

Rafe Cameron and JJ Maybank (x reader)

Pope Heyward  -  Topper Thorton

John B.  -  Sarah Cameron

Kiara Carrera

---

Marvel characters:

Wanda Maximoff  -  Kate Bishop

Natasha Romanoff  -  Yelena Belova

Peter Parker  -  Pietro Maximoff

Steve Rogers  -  Stephen Strange

Frank Castle  -  Matt Murdock 

Moon knight  -  Steven Grant

Joaqín Torres - Clint Barton

Loki Laufeyson  -  Druig

Eddie Brock  -  Miles Morales

Miguel O’hara  -  Hobie Brown

---

Harry Potter characters:

Sirius Black  -  Remus Lupin 

James Potter  -  Poly!Marauders

Lily potter  -  Cedric Diggory

George Weasley  -  Fred Weasley

Severus Snape  -  Tom Riddle

Draco Malfoy

---

Avatar (James Cameron) charachters:

neteyam  -  aonung  -  lo’ak

rotxo  -  kiri  -  spider

jake sully  -  neytiri  -  tsu’tey

tonowari  -  ronal  -  colonel quaritch

---

Top Gun chracters:

Fanboy  -  Hangman  -  Rooster  -  Bob

Iceman

---

Wednesday characters:

Xavier Thorpe  -  Ajax Petropolus

Wednesday Addams  -  Divina

---

Bridgerton characters:

Anthony Bridgerton  -  Benedict Bridgerton

Colin Bridgerton

---

Criminal Minds characters:

Spencer Reid  -  Aaron Hotchner

Derek Morgan

---

The Last of Us characters:

Joel Miller  -  Ellie Williams

Abby Anderson

---

The Devil All The Time characters:

Tommy Matson  -  Lee Bodecker

---

Uncharted characters:

Nate Drake  -  Sam Drake

---

Euphoria characters:

Elliot (Euphoria)  -  Fezco

---

On My Block characters:

Mario Martinez  -  Oscar Diaz

---

Modern Family characters:

Luke Dunphy  -  Alex Dunphy

---

Ted Lasso:

Roy Kent  -  Jamie Tartt

---

NHL players:

Matthew Ktachuk  -  Trevor Zegras

Nolan Patrick  -  Tyler Seguin

---

Actors:

Sebastian Stan  -  Joseph Quinn

Jamie Campbell Bower  -  Danny Ramirez

Drew Starkey  -  Rudy Pankow

Ben Hardy  -  Bella Ramsey

Jenna Ortega

---

Miscellaneous characters:

Eli ‘Hawk’ Moskowitz  -  Marcus Baker

Rodrick Heffley  -  Hunter Sylvester

Lloyd Hansen  -  Ari Levinson

Nick Fowler  -  Tangerine

Rhett Abbott  -  Hayden ‘Harvard Hottie’

Colin (Not Okay)  -  Min Ho (Xo, Kitty)

Ash (No Exit)  -  James Maguire (Derry Girls)

Jake Peralta  -  Nick Miller  -  Brian O’conner

Anakin Skywalker  -  Bruno Madrigal

Tadashi Hamada  -  Kakashi Hatake

---

Miscellaneous real people:

Billie Eilish  -  AEW Hook

---

*Updated whenever there’s a new character <3

[lazyjellyfish300]

masterlist pt 2 ⚡︎ ☁︎ | masterlist pt 1

-MINORS DNI, I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR THE MEDIA YOU CONSUME.

- REBLOGS/COMMENTS/RECOMMENDING MY WORK IS MUCH APPRECIATED.

masterlist below the cut

(check masterlist pt 1 for writings prior to 7/25/24)

-Most of my reader POVS are FEM or AFAB, sorry. Since I am a cis female that is the pov I feel I can write the most accurately. I try to do gender neutral whenever possible.

-I describe curvy body parts.

-I try to exclude reader's appearance as much as possible except clothing. Tattoos or piercings are sometimes applied.

-I have religious trauma and sometimes my negative opinions of organized religion show up in my writing. If that is not your cup of tea, please do not read.

-My rating system is my humble opinion & might not be totally correct, read at your own risk. I'm self indulgent with my writing the vast majority of the time.

🌶️-suggestive 🌶️🌶️-moderate smut

🌶️🌶️🌶️-very smutty 💖-fluff 💔-angst 🔥-slow burn/smut doesn't happen right away

-last updated: 9/21/24

miguel o'hara (atsv) x reader

-love that doesn't make it into the bedroom-drabble thought 🌶️

-jacuzzi drabble-nsfw smutty thot 🌶️🌶️

-the aftermath - fluff drabble hc about the morning after your one night stand 🌶️💖

-fluff thought 💖

-smutty thot 🌶️🌶️

-putting his hands in your pockets-quick thought 💖

-dinnery party drabble 🌶️💖

-miguel's act of service for you-quick thought 💖

-the color red-🌶️💖 Miguel learns to love his eye color thanks to you short blurb

-miguel needs glasses -fluffy blurb 💖

-miguel sleep hcs 💖

-miguel likes your fall candles-autumn drabble 💖

-your fall decorations start to grow on Miguel-autumn short fluff 💖

-eloping with him -short fluff 💖

-would've been you-angstober request 💔🌶️🌶️

peter b. parker (atsv) x reader

-love that doesn't make it into the bedroom-drabble thought 🌶️

-smut thot 🌶️

-marry me honey-proposing to you during sex 🌶️🌶️🌶️💖

-peter washes the dishes-drabble 💖🌶️

-a horror movie night with him-flufftober piece💖🌶️

nanami kento (jjk) x reader

-he's just your boss- you're kento's assistant. you realize you're in love with him. 💖

-love that doesn't make it into the bedroom-drabble thought 🌶️

-rainy night in the farmhouse-drabble 🌶️💖

-ill take care of us both -your husband cheering you up after you lose your job 💖🌶️

-making love in the barn-self indulgent drabble 🌶️🌶️💖

-eating chocolate chip cookies pregnancy cravings drabble 💖

-his watch 💖🌶️

-smut thought 🌶️🌶️

-lying by the river drabble 💖

-waking up after a shower drabble 💖🌶️

-stay asleep to see you 💔🌶️🌶️ angsty dark piece about your grief after Shibuya that ends in tragedy

-threesome with Kento and Kusakabe drabble 🌶️🌶️🌶️

-kento x kusakabe x you smut drabble 🌶️🌶️

-rating the thunder -fluffy drabble 💖

-nanami kento as a boy dad 💖 HCs

-fingering you drabble 🌶️🌶️💖

-kento x shiu x you smut thought 🌶️🌶️🌶️

shiu kong(jjk) x reader

-smoking during sex thought drabble 🌶️🌶️

-your wedding and honeymoon-brief smutty fluff 🌶️🌶️💖

-the aquarium-first meeting with him 💖

-he comforts you over losing your first husband- angst with comfort snippet 💔💖

-kento x shiu x you smut thought 🌶️🌶️🌶️

atsuya kusakabe (jjk) x reader

-he likes your curves -brief thought drabble 🌶️🌶️💖

-just a man- he visits you the night of Shibuya 🌶️🌶️🌶️💔

ben reilly (atsv) x reader

-late night cravings - getting ice cream+ food with him in the middle of the night 💖

𖥧 𓂃 ♥︎ ᨒ

©lazyjellyfish300 Please do not copy / plagiarize / edit / translate / feed into AI any of my work / content! Ok with reposts to other sites/fic lists but you MUST CREDIT ME. Thank you !! 𖤣𖥧

[marvelmusing]

Okokok so that little IAL blurb got me thinking…..

Imagine if the reader sees Aleksander in sweatpants and that turns her on for some reason (Ben Barnes in sweats? Yes please) and she just climbs him like a tree 😂🥵🥵

Imagine sitting at the former war table, still wearing your sleeping clothes and feeling half asleep as you begin to tuck into your breakfast.

While you’re pouring your tea, you hear the sound of Aleksander rousing himself from bed, sheets rustling as he pushes the covers aside, and you’re glad he’s had the opportunity to sleep in this morning.

As you’re swallowing down a mouthful of your drink, Aleksander appears in the doorway and you promptly choke on your tea.

Now in the midst of summer, the two of you have been sleeping in only your underwear, wearing smooth silk robes whenever you want to sit before or after sleep. But this morning Aleksander has forgone his robe, leaving him in only the pair of dark sweatpants that he had commissioned as a surprise for you - a small reminder of your old world.

He leans his shoulder against the door frame, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as amusement sparkles in his eyes. Warmth flushes over your cheeks and his smirk turns boyish as he observes your reaction.

“Good morning, my love,” he says smoothly.

Clearing your throat, you place your cup down in its saucer, porcelain rattling lightly. Aleksander watches you intently as you keep your eyes lowered.

“G’morning, Sasha.”

Pushing himself away from the door frame, he strolls leisurely towards you. As he stands beside you, he hooks a finger under your chin, guiding your gaze up over his bare chest to meet his dark eyes. His eyelids are lowered as he looks down at you, his lips parting as the corner of his mouth twitches with a knowing smile. In an instant, you’re mirroring his smile, slipping your arms around his waist.

The sound of his breath catching sends a thrill through you as you nuzzle your nose over his stomach. Tilting your head back, you meet his dark gaze as you trail a line of kisses above the line of his waistband. Aleksander bites down on his lower lip, breathing out a small laugh at the sight of you looking so pleased with yourself.

“Anything on the agenda today, General?” you ask coyly.

He threads his hand through your hair, huffing out a laugh at your question, which sends a shiver down your spine.

“Nothing that can’t be rescheduled.”

Humming in satisfaction, you hook your fingers under the waistband of his sweatpants, skimming your knuckles over his skin as you smile victoriously up at him.

“Good.”

[rae-gar-targaryen]

Blurb Requests are OPEN!

Starting now through Monday, June 19, send me some prompts and I’ll write a five to ten sentence blurb based on it! Help me shake the rust off on my writing (and write for a few new characters!)

You can either: Send me any NSFW headcanon you have, and I’ll write a blurb. 

Or -- send me a prompt from THIS list, and I’ll write a five-sentence blurb. 

Or -- send me a word to build the blurb around. Any word you can think of. The more evocative the better!

Any super-cute scenario you like? Send it! (NSFW is OK, but not required!) 

Who I’ll write for: 

TASM!Peter Parker (Andrew Garfield)

Any of the TGM characters (Rooster, Fanboy, Javy, Phoenix, Hangman, Payback, and Bob)

Fanboy x Cielo specific requests

Kendall Roy, Stewy Hosseini (Succession)

EZ Reyes, Angel Reyes, or Coco Cruz (Mayans MC) 

Jamie Tartt, Dani Rojas, or Roy Kent (Ted Lasso) 

Any Danny Ramirez character (Fanboy, Joaquin Torres, Ash, Gabe, etc.) 

Any Ben Barnes character (The Darkling, Billy Russo, etc.) 

Joel Miller and Tommy Miller (TLOU) 

Cassian Andor (SW)

John Wick

Don’t see your fav up here? Just ask! If I can write it, I’ll give it a go! 

Tagging some lovelies: @withahappyrefrain @joaquinwhorres @mxgyver @mortwig @joannasteez @inklore @gretagerwigsmuse @arctvrvs @spiderispunk @bobfloydsbabe @ryebecca @petcr3 @its-gita-time   @drew-garfi @phoenixhalliwell @ohmagawd-life @flightlessangelwings

[cathygeha]

REVIEW

Death in the Details by Katie Tietjen

With a mother who loved dollhouses, had more than one of her own, and took me to see a famous one in Chicago AND a father who loved mysteries, suspense, and crime stories – How could I not read this book? Finding out this is based on a real person who made miniatures to solve murders and teach the skill to others is just an additional bonus. I am hoping this will be a series but haven’t found out yet if it will or not.

The setting is a small town in Vermont just after the end of WWII. Mable “Maple” Bishop finds out she has less to fall back on than she thought and will need to earn a living. Little does she know that her hobby of creating miniature dollhouses might lead to a very interesting future.

An argument overheard, a murder scene stumbled onto, and realizing she sees what others have not, she recreates the murder scene in a miniature “nutshell”. She then uses her mental skills, legal knowledge, her husband’s medical books and her belief in justice and finding the truth to the best advantage and uncovers more than she or anyone else thought she would.

This story reminded me of stories I had heard about the scrimping and saving, rationing, donating items needed for the war effort, victory gardens, loss, and other issues that were real when my parents were young. I felt a part of the story and loved meeting characters that I hope will show up in a future book. Will Maple and Ben continue to spend time together in his hardware shop? Will Charlotte have more children? Will Kenny grow into his own and perhaps take over the sheriff’s department from his uncle?

This had some darkness to it with the mention of verbal and physical abuse, black market smuggling, murder, fraud and other crimes but it also talked of purpose, joy, and moving forward in a positive manner even when times are not easy.

I am glad I read this book and would recommend it to those who enjoy historical fiction and cozy mysteries.

Thank you to NetGalley and Crooked Lane for the ARC – This is my honest review.

4-5 Stars

BLURB

Inspired by the real life Frances Lee Glessner and featuring a whip-smart, intrepid sleuth in post-WWII Vermont. Maple Bishop is ready to put WWII and the grief of losing her husband Bill behind her. But when she discovers that Bill left her penniless, Maple realizes she could lose her Vermont home next and sets out to make money the only way she knows by selling her intricately crafted dollhouses. Business is off to a good start—until Maple discovers her first customer dead, his body hanging precariously in his own barn. Something about the supposed suicide rubs Maple the wrong way, but local authorities brush off her concerns. Determined to see “what’s big in what’s small,” Maple turns to what she knows best, painstakingly recreating the gruesome scene in death in a nutshell. With the help of a rookie officer named Kenny, Maple uses her macabre miniature to dig into the dark undercurrents of her sleepy town, where everyone seems to have a secret—and a grudge. But when one of her neighbors who she never got along withher nemesis goes missing and she herself becomes a suspect, it’ll be up to Maple to find the devil in the details—and put him behind bars. Drawing inspiration from true crime and offering readers a smartly plotted puzzle of a mystery, Death in a Nutshell is a stunning series debut.

[movies-to-add-to-your-tbw]

Title: Dorian Gray

Rating: R

Director: Oliver Parker

Cast: Ben Barnes, Colin Firth, Rebecca Hall, Emilia Fox, Ben Chaplin, Fiona Shaw, Caroline Goodall, Maryam d'Abo, Douglas Henshall, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Max Irons, John Hollingworth, Pip Torrens, Michael Culkin, Nathan Rosen, Jeffrey Lipman Sr, Jo Woodcock

Release year: 2009

Genres: thriller, fantasy, drama

Blurb: Seduced into the decadent world of Lord Henry Wotton, handsome young aristocrat Dorian Gray becomes obsessed with maintaining his youthful appearance, and commissions a special portrait that will weather the winds of time while he remains forever young. When his obsession spirals out of control, his desperate attempts to safeguard his secret turn his once-privileged life into a living hell.

[readerthatreadsss]

Hey!

Last updated 07/30/23.

So...my last post has been gaining me a few followers so I thought I'd make a post detailing specific characters that I'll write for.

I'll also copy and paste my past post about what I will and won't write at the end.

Also, anything I write will be X fem! Reader.

(I will be constantly updating this post as I become more comfortable with writing for more characters)

Marvel men

-Miguel O’Hara

-Marc Spector/the rest of the Moon Knight system

-Matt Murdock

-Frank Castle

-Peter Parker (all three)

-Steve Rogers

-Bucky Barnes

Marvel women

-Valkyrie

-Natasha Romanoff

-Wanda Maximoff

-Shuri (WIFE-sorry lemme calm down)

-Carol Danvers

-Darcy Lewis

Stranger Things (it's a short list cause most of the characters in the show are literally children :)

-Steve Harrington

-Eddie Munson

-Hopper (yup you read that right cause I love DILFS)

-Robin Buckley

Criminal Minds

-Every single one of them. (Nah I'm just playing)

-Spencer Reid

-Emily Prentiss

-Aaron Hotchner

-Jennifer Jareau

-Derek Morgan

-Luke Alvarez

Triple Frontier

-Every character except Ben Affleck's.

TVD (The Vampire Diaries)

-Damon Salvatore

-Stefan Salvatore

-Elijah Mikaelson

-Rebekah Mikaelson

-Klaus Mikaelson

Miscellaneous (characters from random fandoms/movies)

-Javier Peña (Narcos)

-Lloyd Hansen (Gray Man)

-Joel Miller (TLOU)

-Jake 'Hangman' Sersin (Top Gun: Maverick)

-Bradley 'Rooster' Bradshaw (Top Gun: Maverick)

-Sam Winchester (Supernatural)

-Dean Winchester (Supernatural)

-Castiel (Supernatural)

-Soldier Boy (The Boys)

-Lip Gallagher (Shameless)

-Carmen Berzatto (The Bear)

-Tommy Shelby (Peaky Blinders)

-Siobhan Roy (Succession)

-Bruce Wayne (Robert Pattinson or Christian Bale)

More to be added...

(Looking over this list I have arrived at the conclusion that I am a whore-)

In terms of what exactly I’m open to writing? I can write headcanons, blurbs, and one-shots. Specifically smut, angst, and fluff. The more descriptive you are in your requests, the easier it is for me to write them. But I don't mind the challenge of having to make my own plot.

Kinks/scenarios I’ll write smut for? Almost everything EXCEPT;

-inc3st

-r*pe

-Lactation kink

-pegging (into it in real life but I have no clue how to write it properly I'm sorry)

-Wax play (note I didn't say temperature play because I will write some stuff with Ice)

-Age play (specifically where a character is purposely behaving in a childlike manner/ baby talk. Daddy and Mommy kinks are welcomed tho!)

-CNC and noncon (I’ll definitely write some VERY MILD dubcon if asked tho)

-sexual activities with m1n0rs

-Domestic Vi0lence/ SexuaI abus3 (spanking is a yes tho)

-Scat & Piss

-Race play

-SEVERE knife kink (like I'll write a small knick or slice that barely bleeds or something but anything else is a no for me sorry)

-S3lf Harm/Su1cide (this is not to say that I feel any way towards people who struggle with these issues but I don't think I'm able to effectively represent them in my writing without triggering myself (as someone who has/is struggled with depression) and the last thing I want to do is offend anyone)

Anyways, that’s it for now! Like I said, feel free to make requests or even just send me a regular question or comment to get to know me! 

[moonstruck-poet]

Pairing - Ben Barnes x reader!

"Yeah but a new one has come up already," you said and tapped your index on the front page of The Times and his eyes shot to what to read the headlines.

"God," he whispered and released a deep sigh. "That's worrying," he said and looked at you, eyes creasing with concern.

"I know," you exhaled heavily. "I know".

"Police files reveal vast child protection scandal".

Confidential police reports and intelligence files that reveal a hidden truth about the use of children for exploitation are exposed. They show that for more than a decade, organised groups were able to groom and traffic girls across the country.

"All this time we had no fucking idea," you laughed bitterly and he noticed your eyes burning red with hatred. "They expect us to help and then hide such information. And now we're expected to work our butts off day and night".

-------------------------------------------------

A small blurb?

[mrsbrekkers]

⭒❃.✮:▹ UPDATED FANDOM LIST

hey there everyone! as promised, here is the updated fandom list! i had to go to the er after work so (: that was lovely. anywho!

 🕊 KEY NOTES! - i write imagines, headcanons, and blurbs! when sending your request, give me the type of fic you want, the character for said fic, and your idea for said character :) - characters marked with a <3 are ones I'm wanting to write for the most as of recently! - DO NOT request characters not listed please! instead, if you have questions about characters i'll write for, pm me! we'll discuss. - i do write smut, however! be mindful of who you're requesting smut for. also, i am in no way vanilla, be dirty ;)

★ TV SHOWS! ☆ ━━━━━━━ ˚⁀➷ CRIMINAL MINDS <3 - aaron hotchner <3 - spencer reid - luke alvez - emily prentiss, wlw only! <3

˚⁀➷ HOUSE OF THE DRAGON <3 - jacaerys velaryon <3 - aemond targaryen - daemon targaryen - harwin strong - rhaenyra targaryen, wlw only! <3 - alicent hightower, wlw only!

˚⁀➷ GAME OF THRONES - oberyn martell <3 - ellaria sand - tyrion lannister - jaime lannister - robb stark - margaery tyrell, wlw only! - daenerys targaryen, wlw only!

˚⁀➷ ONCE UPON A TIME <3 - regina mills, wlw only! <3 - emma swan, wlw only! - killian jones <3 - robin hood - david nolan/charming

˚⁀➷ PEAKY BLINDERS <3 - thomas shelby <3 - micheal gray <3 - arthur shelby

˚⁀➷ BRIDGERTON - anthony bridgerton - benedict bridgerton - colin bridgerton

˚⁀➷ GREYS ANATOMY - andrew delcua <3 - jackson avery - arizona robbins, wlw only! - callie torres, wlw only!

˚⁀➷ DISNEY/NICKELODEON - justin russo - max thunderman - phoebe thunderman, wlw only! - jax novoa - andi cruz, wlw only!

˚⁀➷ WINX CLUB - flora, wlw only! - aisha, wlw only! - helia - nabu - brandon - sky

★ MOVIE SERIES ☆ ━━━━━━━

˚⁀➷ THE HUNGER GAMES - peeta mellark <3 - finnick odair

˚⁀➷ HARRY POTTER - regulus black <3 - sirius black <3 - james potter - remus lupin - lily evans - harry potter <3 - cedric diggory - ron weasley - hermione granger

˚⁀➷ MARVEL - bucky barnes <3 - peter parker <3 - sam wilson - steve rogers - clint barton - baron zemo - natasha romanoff, wlw only! <3

˚⁀➷ STAR WARS - anakin skywalker - obi-wan kenobi - han solo - kylo ren - rey, wlw only!

˚⁀➷ DESCENDANTS - evie, wlw only! - carlos de vil - ben beast

˚⁀➷ DREAMWORKS - hiccup haddock <3 - astrid hofferson, wlw only! - heather, wlw only! - jack frost

★ BOOK SERIES ☆ ━━━━━━━

˚⁀➷ SIX OF CROWS <3 - kaz brekker <3 - jesper fahey - nina zenik, wlw only!

i've also read several katee robert series :)

｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆ ｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆

well, that's it! send in your requests or pms! <3 t.

[dirtfacedgospel]

DIRTFACEDGOSPEL    \\\   original character cheat sheet.

i figured that since my pages aren't up for my ocs, i could write up a quick little blurb to sum things up to facilitate some plotting or writing.

alex lansing.  she/her. camilla luddington fc. heterosexual. nurse practitioner/midwife with her own practice. usually located in more rural areas. eldest daughter of a powerful politician but actively working to undo all the damage that implies. general bad taste in men.

bastien theriot.  he/they. ben barnes fc. gray asexual, biromantic, though if you ask him he'll say he's gay. mechanical engineer, contemporary dancer, and dance instructor, and just as utterly exhausted as you'd expect. neurodivergent genius trope but actually neurodivergent. kind of an asshole. has a daughter. it's complicated. he's complicated.

benji mitchell.   he/him. lucas bryant fc. bisexual. bounty hunter and private investigator. haunted alcoholic ex-cop who physically cannot stop helping people. literally living to take care of his dogs. has had a head of gray hair since his twenties. tarnished golden boy vibes.

charlie farrow.   she/her. tracy spiridakos fc. pansexual but there's trauma so it's complicated. florist. keeps bees. ex navy seal. lives off the grid because despite being declared dead, she's wanted by multiple world governments including her own. if survivors guilt was a person. just wants to know peace.

delilah price.   she/her. jaimie alexander fc. bisexual. bluegrass fiddle player and singer. coffee shop baker and co-owner. will fistfight a man barefoot in a sundress. covered in tattoos. was briefly famous from her romantic relationship with a superstar. short as hell. fueled by spite and caffeine.

ford kincaid.   he/him. brant daugherty fc. bisexual. bar owner and bartender. physically incapable of leaving behind a stray, either human or animal. has basically been a single father since he was five years old and that's barely an exaggeration. intensely protective of his staff. will adopt you on sight, sign the paperwork here, please.

jake sullivan.   he/him. dan stevens fc. pansexual. country music musician. if a golden retriever became a human. a wholesome whore. has worked every job under the sun at least once. professional secret keeper. the most observant man you've ever met. the kindest man you've ever met. everybody's queer awakening counselor.

john romero.   he/him. charlie hunam fc. demisexual. oil rig roughneck and day laborer. on parole for a manslaughter charge after an argument went horribly wrong. loosely inspired by the song big bad john, so y'know. guy's big. (he stood 6'6'' and weighed 245) the epitome of a gentle giant, however, despite all appearances.

silas levay.   he/him. ian bohen fc. bisexual. cattle rancher and ranch manager. has known his entire life he was going to die on the land he was born on. his fiance ran away with his brother and the whole town is never going to let him live it down. *slaps the top of his cowboy hat* you can fit so much fear of failure in this bad boy.

wyatt jessup.   he/him. alan powell fc. bisexual. former country music star. crashed and burned after his overdose a few years ago. got his life back together, got sober, and just wants to live quietly with his dogs in the middle of the forest, making music with the mood strikes.

[indevise]

This is a HUB BLOG for a number for original characters, as listed below. You are welcomed to follow the sideblog for whichever character you are interested in. Please note that all these characters are in some form or another affiliated with one another. You can also follow this blog, if you'd like, although not much activity will occur here save for activity updates and curating of various writing resources. Thank you!

ｉ．   ＴＨＥ ＭＯＤＥＲＮ  ＢＬＡＣＫＳＭＩＴＨ． olga kowalska,  aged thirty - three,  heiress and chief operations officer of the massive and long - established mechanical engineering conglomerate:  BLACKIRON INDUSTRIES.  a leader in technology innovation and a brilliant inventor,  olga is the new head of a old empire. they tell her she is not as cruel as she looks,  and for this, she is glad.   face - claim:   Anja Rubik;  genre:   drama and crime / @hyketeria .

ｉｉ．    ＴＨＥ ＤＲＡＣＯＮＩＡＮ   ＷＯＭＡＮ．  elsa luxová,  the second eldest in a family of four girls,  neurologist, and professor in the faculty of medicine in a college on the east coast of america.  known as a strict,  discerning,  and highly principled woman,  elsa is both feared and respected by patients,  students,  and superiors alike.  I do not believe in Fate for Fate obviously does not believe in me. face - claim:  Evelyne Brochu;  genre:  realism drama / @dracovia .

ｉｉｉ．   ＴＨＥ ＬＡＲＣＥＮＹ ＭＡＥＳＴＲＯ． jade tao,  presumed dead years ago at the age of twenty - nine,  master thief and fledgling criminal mastermind based in an old city.  especially adept at escape artistry, orchestrating beauty, and designing schemes of undeniable elegance and style, jade is a scholar by nature and thievery is her preferred medium of creation. she takes those thin lines between right and wrong,  kind and cruel,  into her hands like string. face - claim:   Sui He;  genre:  crime and mystery / @foxgloev .

ｉｖ．   ＴＨＥ ＣＵＲＩＯＳＩＴＹ  ＣＡＳＥ．                  ava j. monday,  aging as expected,  scientist whose eccentric research interests and immoral methods have led to a revoked Phd and an academic red notice.             hell - bent on discovering the biological mechanism behind immortality,      ava is adamant about the advances her studies can make in radical medical treatment, physiology, and conservation.      fuck off, academia!   I’m doing this my way.            face - claim:  Aubrey Plaza;  genre:  science - fiction and mystery.

ｖ． ＴＨＥ ＷＡＬＫＩＮＧ ＭＩＲＡＣＬＥ． miranda spurling. . . biography blurb to come. . . face - claim: Winona Ryder; genre: period drama, science - fiction, and crime / @inflnsia .

Written by Ivy.

ＯＴＨＥＲ ＦＥＡＴＵＲＥＤ ＭＵＳＥＳ,

jack massoud . the troublemaker (!) a trouble - faker; con - man extraordinaire and right - hand man to jade tao ( but shh! that's a secret. . . ) /// no face - claim, 30s, chaotic good, esfp - a; genre: crime, mystery, action - comedy. liam quinn . a specialist in ( special ) acquisitions; getting what you want in this world is no easy task, even for the strong and lofty, even for the seedy and shady, hence we might require mr. quinn's special talents in locating the rare, surmising true value, surgical negotiations, and never knowing when enough is enough /// face - claim: Ben Barnes, 30s, lawful neutral, intp - t; genre: crime, drama, mystery. tali / dormouse . a talented computer and software engineer who got into an "accident," was presumed dead, woke up a blank slate from a decade - long coma, and taken in by a criminal syndicate to work as a hacker; with no remaining family and a bad case of narcolepsy, the woman who had invented an implantable virtual reality is now doomed to a waking nightmare /// face - claim: Aiysha Hart, late - 30s, true neutral, intj - a; inspo media: Alice in Wonderland, Inception, Alice in Borderland. lucille bazin . a specialist in crime ( oh, but not like that! let's try again, ) she has a PhD in criminology and a law degree, too; a bit of an overachiever, this one, but always for a good cause, right? according to some, ( cough, jade tao, cough cough ) can insist that breaking the rules can be for the greater good, then why not put such a ridiculous theory to the test? /// face - claim: Nathalie Emmanuel, 30s, lawful good, esfj - a; genre: crime, drama. conrad / the chessmaster . head of a well - ordered, deeply - rooted, expansive criminal conglomerate who has, evidently, taken every chess metaphor out there a little too far. . . likely because he was one of its pioneers; ruthless and cunning, this old - timer keeps his wits sharp and his agents even sharper through regular mental exercise and criminal executions /// no face - claim, 60s, neutral evil, entj - a; affiliated with ABSENSIA, inspo media: Succession, Mission: Impossible. maurice . previously special agent a— of the cia, even if for however brief a time; she did everything right and at 0745, made it to the office for her first official day as an analyst agent for the department of counterintelligence. by 2137 on the same day, she had been made persona non grata. burned and buried, special agent a— was no more. given explicit instructions to exile herself under a new name, maurice has forgotten what it's like to live without constantly looking over her shoulder. what she hasn't forgotten what she overheard and discovered that day. . . no one told her how easy it was to fall down a rabbit hole and bury oneself alive /// face - claim: Son Ye Jin, 30s, lawful good, istj - t; genre: crime, espionage, thriller.

[kamreadsandrecs]

If there’s one thing authors love more than procrastinating, it’s praising one another. During the Renaissance, Thomas More’s Utopia got a proto-blurb from Erasmus (“divine wit”), while Shakespeare’s First Folio got one from Ben Jonson (“The wonder of our stage!”). By the 18th century, the practice of selling a book based on some other author’s endorsement was so well established that Henry Fielding’s spoof novel Shamela even came with fake blurbs, including one from “John Puff Esq.”

Blurbs have always been controversial—too clichéd, too subject to cronyism—but lately, as review space shrinks and the noise level of the marketplace increases, the pursuit of ever more fawning praise from luminaries has become absurd. Even the most minor title now comes garlanded with quotes hailing it as the most important book since the Bible, while authors report getting so many requests that some are opting out of the practice altogether. Publishers have begun to despair of blurbs, too. “You only need to look at the jackets from the 1990s or 2000s to see that even most debut novelists didn’t have them, or had only one or two genuinely high-quality ones,” Mark Richards, the publisher of the independent Swift Press, told me. “But what happened was an arms race. People figured out that they helped, so more effort was put into getting them, until a point was reached where they didn’t necessarily make any positive difference; it’s just that not having them would likely ruin a book’s chances.”

Today, pick up any title at Barnes & Noble and you’re likely to find that it’s plastered with approving adjectives from everyone under the sun. When I asked Henry Oliver, who runs The Common Reader, a Substack devoted to literature, for examples of overused words, he sent back a long list: electrifying, essential, profound, masterpiece, vital, important, compelling, revelatory, myth-busting, masterful, elegantly written, brave, lucid and engaging, indispensable, enlightening, courageous, powerful. “We do it like some kind of sympathetic magic,” John Mitchinson, a co-founder of the book-crowdfunding platform Unbound, told me. “Like a rabbit’s foot … We all do it because we are desperate to prove the book has some merit. There is something slightly troubling about it.”

For first-time authors, offering up contacts for blurbs has become a routine part of the pitching process, along with boasting about how many social-media followers they have. Tomiwa Owolade, whose first book, This Is Not America: Why Black Lives Matter in Britain, came out in June, told me that he, his agent, and his editor drew up a list of potential blurb writers, “and my editor messaged everyone on the list. I don’t know how many on the list responded to the email, or received the book but didn’t read it, or read the book and hated it, and I didn’t pester my editor to find out: I only know of the ones who came back with an endorsement.” One of those who responded was the Dutch author Ian Buruma, a former editor of The New York Review of Books. His unexpected endorsement provided a confidence boost to Owolade, and perhaps a sales boost too. “I’m a big fan of his writing, but we’ve never interacted before,” Owolade said. “I thought it was very sweet of him.”

What’s behind the blurb arms race? Two things: the switch across the arts from a traditional critical culture to an internet-centered one driven by influencers and reliant on user reviews, combined with a superstar system where a handful of titles account for the great majority of sales.

Those trends have disrupted the 20th century’s dominant two-step model of book promotion, in which publishers brought out a hardback—conveying seriousness, prestige, and heft—and then a paperback about a year later. This allowed them two chances to “launch” the book, and the cheaper, more portable paperbacks could also benefit from the (hopefully) glowing reviews for the hardback in major newspapers and magazines.

That model is now broken. Mitchinson and Richards tell the same story: The volume of books being published has become enormous at the same time as many legacy publications have stopped publishing stand-alone book sections; the reviews they do publish have lost much of their cultural impact. So instead of harvesting effusive quotes from professional book reviewers, authors solicit them from celebrities and other writers, usually long before publication. A phalanx of powerful, insightful, vivid blurbs now means the difference between success and failure. In Mitchinson’s 12 years of running Unbound, he says, “it’s moved from sending books out for review, to sending them out at the earliest possible moment for endorsement quotes.” Building excitement before publication day leads to higher preorders, and in turn to more promotion on Amazon and in brick-and-mortar bookstores.

And that reveals another dirty secret of the blurb: They’re not addressed to you. “The biggest thing to understand is that blurbs aren’t principally, or even really at all, aimed at the consumer,” Richards told me via email. “They are instead aimed at literary editors and buyers for the bookstores—in a sea of new books, having blurbs from, ideally, lots of famous writers will make it more likely that they will review/stock your book.”

That’s the magic. Stephen King is well known for his generous praise for less commercially successful authors—which is to say basically all of them—and if he says this is an important book, then it is one. His approval is a signal as powerful as a publisher announcing that it has won a “seven-way” auction or paid a “six-figure sum.” Anointed by greatness, maybe such a golden title will be chosen by Reese Witherspoon’s book club. Maybe it will pick up chatter on TikTok or Instagram. Maybe it will become the title that everyone seems to be talking about, like Yellowface or Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow. Blurbs are therefore an uneasy hybrid of quality-assurance mark and publicity gimmick. This makes the practice of blurbing a fraught one. Are you doing a fellow striver a good turn, or acting as a gatekeeper of excellence, making sure that only the best books succeed?

Reading a book takes time, so writers have an incentive to blurb only their friends. Writing a good puff quote takes time too: If you ever see the words inspiring and illuminating, assume the blurber hasn’t even cracked the spine. Most established authors are bombarded with proofs, accompanied by heartstring-tugging notes from editors about the importance of this author’s vision. After writing my own book on feminism, I could have made a fort out of advance copies of other books with women in the title sent to me by hopeful publishers. I can only imagine the number of books Stephen King receives; it must be like a snowdrift on the wrong side of his front door. The distinguished classicist Mary Beard announced a few years ago that she was declining all requests, because she felt like she was becoming a “blurb whore” after being asked at least once a week. “I’m beginning to get a lot more authors who say, I can’t do it,” Mitchinson told me.

Not everyone says that, though. In my reporting for this piece, certain names repeatedly came up as prolific blurbers. “Salman Rushdie, Colm Tóibín, even the reclusive J. M. Coetzee make frequent appearances, so many that you wonder how they find time to read all these books and keep up the day job too,” the critic John Self told me. The British polymath Stephen Fry, meanwhile, “has hilariously blurbed about half of all books published in the U.K.,” said James Marriott of the London Times. His brand is cerebral, patrician, and politically unchallenging. “To me his endorsement means nothing, but I wonder how far casual bookshop visitors get that he puts his name on everything.” (I requested a comment from Fry via his agent but have not yet heard back.)

Unsurprisingly, publishers are grateful to the authors who do participate in the practice. Mark Richards sees them as “good literary citizens.” The novelist Amanda Craig agreed. “My thoughts have done a 180 turn,” she told me. When she published her first book, Foreign Bodies, in 1990, she was offered a cover quote by fellow novelist Deborah Moggach, who was nine years older than her. Craig turned it down because she wanted her work to speak for itself. “I was very purist,” she said. Now, though, the squeeze on reviewing space means that good authors struggle to attract attention, and she has a policy of blurbing “anybody I think is good, including people I thoroughly dislike.”

Craig is also annoyed that the male-dominated golden generation above her, whose members prospered in the 1980s when novels were far more profitable, have largely been reluctant blurbers of their successors. They “got the cream, but it never seemed to have occurred to them … to pass it on,” she told me, adding that she wondered if this had contributed to the decline in male authorship. (The success of men at the very top of publishing—as CEOs of publishing houses, as lead critics on newspapers, and until recently on prize shortlists—obscures the fact that most buyers and readers of books are women, and the industry as a whole is female-dominated.) The generation of women above Craig were supportive because they wanted to see other women succeed, but her male peers today did not benefit from similar solidarity. “When I got Rose Tremain and Penelope Lively, it was like God descending from the clouds,” Craig said. “I do feel for the men of my generation.” The blurb arms race, then, is unfair to many marginalized groups—and men may be one of them.

One obvious thing about blurbs is that they are open to corruption. Ask around and you will quickly discover deep suspicions about, for example, reciprocal blurbing—or what you might call a blurblejerk: “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours,” as George Orwell once wrote to his friend Cyril Connolly, proposing that they gush about each other’s books in print.

Tactical mutual admiration has always been so common that Spy magazine had a recurring feature called “Log-Rolling In Our Time,” and back in 2001, Slate revealed that Frank McCourt had gone hog wild after the publication of Angela’s Ashes, “doling out 15 blurbs” in five years, including one for the wife of his film producer. (You can see the extent of blurb inflation because, for such a prominent author, three blurbs a year now seems like a low number.)

I learned of Orwell’s logrolling—and the puff quotes by Erasmus and Ben Jonson at the start of this article—from Louise Willder’s fascinating study of book marketing, Blurb Your Enthusiasm. In it, Willder, who writes marketing copy for Penguin Random House, confirms (sadly, without naming names) that some puffers don’t read the books they’re endorsing. “One of the slightly shameful secrets of publishing is that occasionally an author will really want to give an endorsement for a writer they admire, but is too busy to do it—and so they hand the responsibility over to somebody else,” she writes. “I confess that, yes, occasionally I have made up review quotes for a couple of high-profile authors in this manner (although luckily they did find the time to sign off on the finished piece of praise).”

Halfway through our conversation, John Mitchinson revealed the existence of something even more shocking than ghostblurbing. Recently, when he requested a blurb from a public figure via his agent, he said, “they quoted us £1,000.” Wow. I knew the blurbosphere was corrupt, but not that corrupt. Mitchinson declined the offer.

But then, as we talked more, I realized that a celebrity can earn five or six figures for a corporate speech that takes far less time than reading a book and writing a gushing paragraph about it. And in terms of sales, a puff quote from the right person is probably worth far more than a few thousand dollars. Perhaps I was naive to assume, as James Marriott put it, “that publishers—a prestige, highbrow industry—would never indulge in the dark arts of publicity the way, I don’t know, fast-food manufacturers would.”

A blurb has always been a type of currency, and many of the most successful books are not really books at all, but brand extensions for a diet guru or productivity hacker or business titan. Why assume that those authors care about literature? Some probably regard people who read books before blurbing them as hopeless saps who don’t even take ice baths or keep a bullet journal. The fallen crypto billionaire Sam Bankman-Fried once said that he would never read a book, and that anyone who wrote one had screwed up, because “it should have been a six-paragraph blog post.”

Hearing these descriptions of blurbing—which can be both a selfless act and a shamelessly corrupt one—reminded me of nothing so much as academic peer review. Getting a paper published in Science or Nature, or another respected journal, is a coup for any scientist. You have been publicly acknowledged as producing something of value, which has been rigorously checked and endorsed by your community. Your university will appreciate the visibility. Your H-index will be bolstered. You might get more research funding or more time off teaching responsibilities. At the same time, for the big journals, the rewards of publishing more and more papers are also obvious: profits (big ones). But the entire system relies on academics giving up their time for free to assess the submitted work. Devolving this quality-control mechanism onto unpaid peer reviewers has obvious flaws, turning what should be an objective process into one that’s open to political bias, petty score-settling, or plain old laziness. The same is true of relying so much on book blurbs. Publishers make money from books; blurbers don’t (well, mostly). In both science and publishing, the merits of the work are supposed to be paramount, but the structure of the industry means that prestige and connections matter too.

Scientists, being scientists, have methodically built an entire movement—called Open Science—to address these potential problems. Authors, being authors, largely complain about them to their friends. They tell stories of being asked for a blurb and then having their tightly constructed praise discarded in favor of a tossed-off sentence by a more fashionable writer. They whisper that some blurbers are only generous with their praise because it makes them feel important. They confer about who’s a soft touch and whose approval really means something. They claim never to be swayed by blurbs themselves, before revealing that praise from a favorite author did, in fact, prompt them to buy a now-beloved title.

“My own personal view is that there should be a moratorium on them—that we as editors should collectively decide not to put any on any of our books for a year, and reclaim our own taste,” Mark Richards of Swift Publishing told me. “Of course, this won’t happen, so like hamsters we’ll be on the quote treadmill until we finally fall off.”



[kammartinez]

If there’s one thing authors love more than procrastinating, it’s praising one another. During the Renaissance, Thomas More’s Utopia got a proto-blurb from Erasmus (“divine wit”), while Shakespeare’s First Folio got one from Ben Jonson (“The wonder of our stage!”). By the 18th century, the practice of selling a book based on some other author’s endorsement was so well established that Henry Fielding’s spoof novel Shamela even came with fake blurbs, including one from “John Puff Esq.”

Blurbs have always been controversial—too clichéd, too subject to cronyism—but lately, as review space shrinks and the noise level of the marketplace increases, the pursuit of ever more fawning praise from luminaries has become absurd. Even the most minor title now comes garlanded with quotes hailing it as the most important book since the Bible, while authors report getting so many requests that some are opting out of the practice altogether. Publishers have begun to despair of blurbs, too. “You only need to look at the jackets from the 1990s or 2000s to see that even most debut novelists didn’t have them, or had only one or two genuinely high-quality ones,” Mark Richards, the publisher of the independent Swift Press, told me. “But what happened was an arms race. People figured out that they helped, so more effort was put into getting them, until a point was reached where they didn’t necessarily make any positive difference; it’s just that not having them would likely ruin a book’s chances.”

Today, pick up any title at Barnes & Noble and you’re likely to find that it’s plastered with approving adjectives from everyone under the sun. When I asked Henry Oliver, who runs The Common Reader, a Substack devoted to literature, for examples of overused words, he sent back a long list: electrifying, essential, profound, masterpiece, vital, important, compelling, revelatory, myth-busting, masterful, elegantly written, brave, lucid and engaging, indispensable, enlightening, courageous, powerful. “We do it like some kind of sympathetic magic,” John Mitchinson, a co-founder of the book-crowdfunding platform Unbound, told me. “Like a rabbit’s foot … We all do it because we are desperate to prove the book has some merit. There is something slightly troubling about it.”

For first-time authors, offering up contacts for blurbs has become a routine part of the pitching process, along with boasting about how many social-media followers they have. Tomiwa Owolade, whose first book, This Is Not America: Why Black Lives Matter in Britain, came out in June, told me that he, his agent, and his editor drew up a list of potential blurb writers, “and my editor messaged everyone on the list. I don’t know how many on the list responded to the email, or received the book but didn’t read it, or read the book and hated it, and I didn’t pester my editor to find out: I only know of the ones who came back with an endorsement.” One of those who responded was the Dutch author Ian Buruma, a former editor of The New York Review of Books. His unexpected endorsement provided a confidence boost to Owolade, and perhaps a sales boost too. “I’m a big fan of his writing, but we’ve never interacted before,” Owolade said. “I thought it was very sweet of him.”

What’s behind the blurb arms race? Two things: the switch across the arts from a traditional critical culture to an internet-centered one driven by influencers and reliant on user reviews, combined with a superstar system where a handful of titles account for the great majority of sales.

Those trends have disrupted the 20th century’s dominant two-step model of book promotion, in which publishers brought out a hardback—conveying seriousness, prestige, and heft—and then a paperback about a year later. This allowed them two chances to “launch” the book, and the cheaper, more portable paperbacks could also benefit from the (hopefully) glowing reviews for the hardback in major newspapers and magazines.

That model is now broken. Mitchinson and Richards tell the same story: The volume of books being published has become enormous at the same time as many legacy publications have stopped publishing stand-alone book sections; the reviews they do publish have lost much of their cultural impact. So instead of harvesting effusive quotes from professional book reviewers, authors solicit them from celebrities and other writers, usually long before publication. A phalanx of powerful, insightful, vivid blurbs now means the difference between success and failure. In Mitchinson’s 12 years of running Unbound, he says, “it’s moved from sending books out for review, to sending them out at the earliest possible moment for endorsement quotes.” Building excitement before publication day leads to higher preorders, and in turn to more promotion on Amazon and in brick-and-mortar bookstores.

And that reveals another dirty secret of the blurb: They’re not addressed to you. “The biggest thing to understand is that blurbs aren’t principally, or even really at all, aimed at the consumer,” Richards told me via email. “They are instead aimed at literary editors and buyers for the bookstores—in a sea of new books, having blurbs from, ideally, lots of famous writers will make it more likely that they will review/stock your book.”

That’s the magic. Stephen King is well known for his generous praise for less commercially successful authors—which is to say basically all of them—and if he says this is an important book, then it is one. His approval is a signal as powerful as a publisher announcing that it has won a “seven-way” auction or paid a “six-figure sum.” Anointed by greatness, maybe such a golden title will be chosen by Reese Witherspoon’s book club. Maybe it will pick up chatter on TikTok or Instagram. Maybe it will become the title that everyone seems to be talking about, like Yellowface or Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow. Blurbs are therefore an uneasy hybrid of quality-assurance mark and publicity gimmick. This makes the practice of blurbing a fraught one. Are you doing a fellow striver a good turn, or acting as a gatekeeper of excellence, making sure that only the best books succeed?

Reading a book takes time, so writers have an incentive to blurb only their friends. Writing a good puff quote takes time too: If you ever see the words inspiring and illuminating, assume the blurber hasn’t even cracked the spine. Most established authors are bombarded with proofs, accompanied by heartstring-tugging notes from editors about the importance of this author’s vision. After writing my own book on feminism, I could have made a fort out of advance copies of other books with women in the title sent to me by hopeful publishers. I can only imagine the number of books Stephen King receives; it must be like a snowdrift on the wrong side of his front door. The distinguished classicist Mary Beard announced a few years ago that she was declining all requests, because she felt like she was becoming a “blurb whore” after being asked at least once a week. “I’m beginning to get a lot more authors who say, I can’t do it,” Mitchinson told me.

Not everyone says that, though. In my reporting for this piece, certain names repeatedly came up as prolific blurbers. “Salman Rushdie, Colm Tóibín, even the reclusive J. M. Coetzee make frequent appearances, so many that you wonder how they find time to read all these books and keep up the day job too,” the critic John Self told me. The British polymath Stephen Fry, meanwhile, “has hilariously blurbed about half of all books published in the U.K.,” said James Marriott of the London Times. His brand is cerebral, patrician, and politically unchallenging. “To me his endorsement means nothing, but I wonder how far casual bookshop visitors get that he puts his name on everything.” (I requested a comment from Fry via his agent but have not yet heard back.)

Unsurprisingly, publishers are grateful to the authors who do participate in the practice. Mark Richards sees them as “good literary citizens.” The novelist Amanda Craig agreed. “My thoughts have done a 180 turn,” she told me. When she published her first book, Foreign Bodies, in 1990, she was offered a cover quote by fellow novelist Deborah Moggach, who was nine years older than her. Craig turned it down because she wanted her work to speak for itself. “I was very purist,” she said. Now, though, the squeeze on reviewing space means that good authors struggle to attract attention, and she has a policy of blurbing “anybody I think is good, including people I thoroughly dislike.”

Craig is also annoyed that the male-dominated golden generation above her, whose members prospered in the 1980s when novels were far more profitable, have largely been reluctant blurbers of their successors. They “got the cream, but it never seemed to have occurred to them … to pass it on,” she told me, adding that she wondered if this had contributed to the decline in male authorship. (The success of men at the very top of publishing—as CEOs of publishing houses, as lead critics on newspapers, and until recently on prize shortlists—obscures the fact that most buyers and readers of books are women, and the industry as a whole is female-dominated.) The generation of women above Craig were supportive because they wanted to see other women succeed, but her male peers today did not benefit from similar solidarity. “When I got Rose Tremain and Penelope Lively, it was like God descending from the clouds,” Craig said. “I do feel for the men of my generation.” The blurb arms race, then, is unfair to many marginalized groups—and men may be one of them.

One obvious thing about blurbs is that they are open to corruption. Ask around and you will quickly discover deep suspicions about, for example, reciprocal blurbing—or what you might call a blurblejerk: “You scratch my back, I’ll scratch yours,” as George Orwell once wrote to his friend Cyril Connolly, proposing that they gush about each other’s books in print.

Tactical mutual admiration has always been so common that Spy magazine had a recurring feature called “Log-Rolling In Our Time,” and back in 2001, Slate revealed that Frank McCourt had gone hog wild after the publication of Angela’s Ashes, “doling out 15 blurbs” in five years, including one for the wife of his film producer. (You can see the extent of blurb inflation because, for such a prominent author, three blurbs a year now seems like a low number.)

I learned of Orwell’s logrolling—and the puff quotes by Erasmus and Ben Jonson at the start of this article—from Louise Willder’s fascinating study of book marketing, Blurb Your Enthusiasm. In it, Willder, who writes marketing copy for Penguin Random House, confirms (sadly, without naming names) that some puffers don’t read the books they’re endorsing. “One of the slightly shameful secrets of publishing is that occasionally an author will really want to give an endorsement for a writer they admire, but is too busy to do it—and so they hand the responsibility over to somebody else,” she writes. “I confess that, yes, occasionally I have made up review quotes for a couple of high-profile authors in this manner (although luckily they did find the time to sign off on the finished piece of praise).”

Halfway through our conversation, John Mitchinson revealed the existence of something even more shocking than ghostblurbing. Recently, when he requested a blurb from a public figure via his agent, he said, “they quoted us £1,000.” Wow. I knew the blurbosphere was corrupt, but not that corrupt. Mitchinson declined the offer.

But then, as we talked more, I realized that a celebrity can earn five or six figures for a corporate speech that takes far less time than reading a book and writing a gushing paragraph about it. And in terms of sales, a puff quote from the right person is probably worth far more than a few thousand dollars. Perhaps I was naive to assume, as James Marriott put it, “that publishers—a prestige, highbrow industry—would never indulge in the dark arts of publicity the way, I don’t know, fast-food manufacturers would.”

A blurb has always been a type of currency, and many of the most successful books are not really books at all, but brand extensions for a diet guru or productivity hacker or business titan. Why assume that those authors care about literature? Some probably regard people who read books before blurbing them as hopeless saps who don’t even take ice baths or keep a bullet journal. The fallen crypto billionaire Sam Bankman-Fried once said that he would never read a book, and that anyone who wrote one had screwed up, because “it should have been a six-paragraph blog post.”

Hearing these descriptions of blurbing—which can be both a selfless act and a shamelessly corrupt one—reminded me of nothing so much as academic peer review. Getting a paper published in Science or Nature, or another respected journal, is a coup for any scientist. You have been publicly acknowledged as producing something of value, which has been rigorously checked and endorsed by your community. Your university will appreciate the visibility. Your H-index will be bolstered. You might get more research funding or more time off teaching responsibilities. At the same time, for the big journals, the rewards of publishing more and more papers are also obvious: profits (big ones). But the entire system relies on academics giving up their time for free to assess the submitted work. Devolving this quality-control mechanism onto unpaid peer reviewers has obvious flaws, turning what should be an objective process into one that’s open to political bias, petty score-settling, or plain old laziness. The same is true of relying so much on book blurbs. Publishers make money from books; blurbers don’t (well, mostly). In both science and publishing, the merits of the work are supposed to be paramount, but the structure of the industry means that prestige and connections matter too.

Scientists, being scientists, have methodically built an entire movement—called Open Science—to address these potential problems. Authors, being authors, largely complain about them to their friends. They tell stories of being asked for a blurb and then having their tightly constructed praise discarded in favor of a tossed-off sentence by a more fashionable writer. They whisper that some blurbers are only generous with their praise because it makes them feel important. They confer about who’s a soft touch and whose approval really means something. They claim never to be swayed by blurbs themselves, before revealing that praise from a favorite author did, in fact, prompt them to buy a now-beloved title.

“My own personal view is that there should be a moratorium on them—that we as editors should collectively decide not to put any on any of our books for a year, and reclaim our own taste,” Mark Richards of Swift Publishing told me. “Of course, this won’t happen, so like hamsters we’ll be on the quote treadmill until we finally fall off.”