#biblically accurate octopus

[eddieintheocean]

What the fuck are you trying to sell me

[thebirchtreesmightbewatchingme]

part 1 of me making silly little pals with the color schemes of various pride flags

more to follow in the future, i just wanted to have some of them already posted

I'm not making them in any particular order other than the one in which ideas occur to me

[oh-katsuki]

Alright Cal, gimme Gojo + monsterfucking please :)

this one goes crazy because i actually moaned the second i got it. like i literally started shivering and i hmmmggggggjfnbjrkegmmg.

sorry in advance for how like... disgusting this is. when you sent this i could NOT stop thinking abt biblically accurate angel gojo and it sent. me into a crazy frenzy. im crying and screaming and moaning

cw: biblically accurate angel gojo, MAJOR sacrilege (we pray together while gojo finger fucks us), fingering, power dynamics, kinda god complex but also not really, im absolutely going to hell for this im immediately going to hell im almost afraid bc i was raised catholic and actually fear god so bad.

"be not afraid," he'd said, crawling into your room through the open window.

white hair and a head made of three rotating rings covered in bright blue eyes. big white wings from his back, four of them and his clothes are a plain suit, where his head connects to nothing. you can't see anything around him, nor can you register any features. it feels like his face and the rings clip in an out of each other. even though you're looking at brilliant gold rings covered in eyes, you're certain that you can make out a man, someone made in your image.

"do you know how to pray?" he asks you, extending his hands by his side. the voice, a rich tenor, seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere.

"yes," you respond, trying to hide the shaking of your hands. your head is tilted downward, facing the bedspread you sit on.

"kneel then, before an angel of the lord," he says, motioning to the ground in front of him.

you listen, bound by something you can only call heavenly duty. you don't dare steal another glance up at him, afraid to gaze at the beauty and might of his celestial form.

he crouches in front of you, taking your face in his two fingers and pinching your cheeks together, "he really did make you in his image," gojo says, turning your cheeks over.

you stare back with hollowed eyes. this is not the attitude of any angel you've ever imagined. the gold rings spin in accordance with the speed of his speech and you feel that they somehow indicate his emotions to you.

"the lord is obsessed with you, you know," he says, dropping your face. you immediately return to looking at the floor, hands clasped together in prayer.

"me?" you squeak.

"your species," he says quietly, like he's thinking about something. "humanity."

you nod softly, swallowing thick, "and you?"

"what about me? i'm but a messenger," he says plainly.

"humanity. are you fond of us?"

he tilts his head, still crouching in front of you. "raise your head, human."

you oblige, meeting those brilliant spinning rings of gold and blue. strangely, through all of it, you can tell that he's smiling and beautiful.

"i am," he says quietly. "but i'm quite fond of you in particular."

"me?" you squeak and he nods his celestial head.

"you."

"what's your name?" you ask.

"satoru," he answers. "to understand."

"what are you?"

he tilts his head. "an angel of the lord."

you shake yours in response. "you don't seem like one."

"have you met many other angels?" he questions, tilting his head to the side.

"no," you swallow. "but i get the feeling that you're not a proper angel."

he sighs, standing up. "you're right. i'm not a proper angel. you see, i love humanity more than i love god."

you bite your tongue, keeping your head bowed. "so who am i meant to be praying to right now, then?"

satoru shrugs his shoulders and the metal rings clink together, "me, if only because i'm in front of you."

"but i don't know you," you say, "not like i know god."

satoru gives a small laugh. "what would you like to know, then?"

you look up at him, hands still clasped together. "anything you have to tell."

satoru's hand comes up to gently cup your face. the pads of his fingers are smooth and soft. they're uncalloused and pink at the tips, like you're the first thing he's ever touched. your belly flips and satoru raises an eyebrow.

"you know, angels are not so dense as humans," he laughs lightly, running his hand from your cheek to the hair by your face. "we're inclined to see the things you can't."

"what does that mean?" you question.

"it means that i can see your desire," he says plainly, "your curiosity. your wants and wishes and feelings in the moment."

you bite the inside of your cheek.

"what you want from me, i can give you," he says softly. his voice bounces around in your head and settles between your eyebrows. "if you ask. if you pray."

your curiosity, the sin built in you from birth, leads you to listen.

"bow your head," he states. you oblige.

satoru's hands come down on your shoulders. they're warm and soft, applying pressure to your body in a touch that feels like it's made you glow. you clench your thighs together where you kneel. "our father," he starts, stepping behind you and running his hands down the sides of your arms, "who art in heaven," and over your stomach, "hallowed be thy name."

you suck in a breath when he reaches the crest of your sex, guilt and desire pooling at the base of your stomach. the light that covers you is calming, like a blessing, but you feel the tinge of sin bite at your ankles and the base of your skull.

"t-thy kingdom come," you exhale and satoru mumbles a good into your ear, pressing his fingers to your clit over your panties. "thy will be done."

"on earth," he slips a finger in and you gasp. "as it is in heaven."

he starts to slowly pump his fingers inside of you. his hand is pressed between your thighs, sandwiched because he's made no effort to spread them. still kneeling, he curls them inside of you.

"give us this day," he says, running his other hand up your side, "our daily bread."

you start to build. pressure mounts in your lower gut as he slips another finger in.

"and forgive us our trespasses," you breathe out shakily, meaning every word. it comes out like you are begging and behind you, satoru whispers his response.

"as we forgive those who trespass against us," he picks up his pace, fingers making a wet and sticky sound with each curl. you build, toes curling where they are tucked underneath you.

"and lead us not into t-temptation," you gasp, beginning to press against the wall of pleasure that's been mounting in your stomach. the coil winds tighter and you clasp your hands together tightly as if you ward off the sin that comes with this.

"but deliver us from evil," satoru says, his voice slick with a smile.

"amen," you say, the end of it cut off by the long and drawn-out whimper.

your clasped hands trembled before you unclasp them, reaching behind you to grab satoru's arm, which has snaked it's way around your neck in a possessive show of desire.

you sit up slightly, arching your back and spreading your legs to allow his hand to work deeper into you. satoru, the angel of the lord, draws out the last of your orgasm from deep within you, curling his long fingers at a steady pace until you collapse back onto his chest with a heaving sigh.

"if you plan to ask for forgiveness," he says quietly, letting you catch your breath against his chest, "ask it from me."

"why?" you pant.

"because i'd love to say a hail mary with you."

[jazz-dude]

carl pilkington voice: "some sort'a slug fella"

[slapthebass]

Source: @espcustomshop on Twitter

[brainless-but-thats-all]

in my most recent art post with Marane she has much puffier sleeves then before and theyve got 8 fluffed out bits to mimic an octopus (Pennsus lusus) which completely doubles down on the fact the government on Veteres treats Marane like a heiress more then Pennsu who is the actual heiress.... as if she didnt have enough imposter syndrome :nintensive:

[codemiracle]

I feel like tumblr been deleting my questions but anyway!!

Hope this one doesn't get flooded away

1. Which species would the LIs be in an AU where there's magic, mermaids n such?

2. And what kind of monster would the LIs be? (Like octopus, shadow monster, etc.)

3. Can Seth make things out of thin air since his a god? Like anything that Y/N requests like uhh like a cat with two tails .w.

4. How do each of the LIs first meet Y/N?

I will answer just two of the questions since they're the ones I know what to answer lol. 3) Yeah, he can create things, but nothing too big or too complicated, he's still a weak god because he doesn't have enough supporters, his strength is measured by how many people believe in him. His greatest invention are his "sons", they're literally biblically accurate angels. 4) Yuuta and Tatsuya meet them at school, they don't know MC at all before the game starts. Dr. Kurosaki meets the MC as soon as they wake up in the hospital at the start of the game. Seth and Yotsuya knew the mc before they entered the coma. (before the current time in the game)

[hasturstoad]

a summary of things I associate with Bump, canonical and hcs

warning: possible triggering topics

so? I've actually done that! can't say I'm entirely glad with the colors, and I didn't manage to put all the stuff on the art, but yeah here it is.

the explanation of the choice of the stuff:

sable marten (on the left) represents Bump himself. a little (yet dangerous in its own ways) carnivorous mustelid mf with cool dark fur, which is considered as one of the most valuable and beautiful furs? hell yeah. it was a little bit hard to do the coloring, because the darkest shade of real sable martens' fur is actually dark brown. I tried to mix the natural appearance of the animal with Bump's hair color and make it as realistic as possible, so here we go.

biblically accurate Frewin doesn't exist, he can't hurt you. okay, maybe I should not try to make that adorable little imp to look semi-realistic. but yeah, Frewin.

wormwood. according to some sources, this plant symbolizes bitterness filling the world during dark and troubled times. as I know, Bump's childhood was in the same time with the start of Belos's regime and things happening before it; could a person who witnessed all the bitterness themselves and was affected by it bring that bitterness through all their lifetime?

also, I personally hc that Bump smells like wormwood. also ink, paper and a little bit wood due to Frewin.

green & purple as the background. light green is the color of Hieronymus's spell circles. dark greyish purple? genuinely dunno, just associated it with him in some ways.

shattered razor blade. as I've already said, he was born in troubled times. he needed to be protected... and he weren't. his nails were always naturally hard and a little bit too sharp, so maybe an extra little bit of sharpness would be good, Hiero thought? so, tiny and extremely sharp pieces of a blade. his first weapon. he needed that.

the bandage roll. he's pretty much familiar with bandages, he used stuff like that multiple times. he still keeps extra bandages and bandaids somewhere, in case someone else would need that.

the dagger. the same dagger he brought to dissect Luz in that episode, the same dagger he literally keeps somewhere on the shelf in his office. the first thing he appeared with.

magpie feathers. also, that birb is one of my associations with Bump. it's the bird who spreads the word; and I think he has the way with words. also the birb has cool jet black head and even cooler long blueish tail. it makes a bit disturbing yet funny noises. I believe in magpie Bump supremacy.

that blue principal uniform thingie? well, I think it doesn't need explanation.

the stress toy. I think the reason the same stress toy that was exploded by Eda magically appeared in one of the following scenes was that the vice principal just had a few of those octopus stress toys. maybe it was his personal favorite one. feeling like he had/has A LOT of fidget toys of all kinds, and still uses his stress toys. sometimes Frewin steals them.

that badge he wore during Them's the Breaks, Kid.

the tiny maroon thing? I dunno what it is but I like it. Bump keeps it in the office for some reason:

dear, I have no idea what the hell are you, but you look cool

the Hooty patch. it was probably given to him by Lilith; her and Bump have pretty good relationship (Lilith was his student, he's, like, very proud of her. also they greet each other during the Watching and Dreaming finale), and I think he had enough bad experience with Eda and her pranks to not take any stuff she gives to him.

the blue worm on a string, Frewin's favorite toy. Bump doesn't remember when and where he has gotten it, but they both like it.

the notebook. Hieronymus has been using such notebooks for a lot of time, I guess it started when he was the vice principal. he just writes The Stuff there, sometimes notes, sometimes venting of some sort, sometimes even a kind of a diary. at first the notebooks' sheets were mostly empty: Bump was afraid of Faust finding them. he keeps a whole stack of those notebooks somewhere to read them someday; that 'day' has never happened. once he'll do it: tomorrow, tomorrow again, the next week... well, for now the notebooks are waiting their time.

the Abomination goo. I don't think he was in the Coven willingly and really had the choice of what Coven to be in, due to the fact that he has used the Coven magic like two times on screen (the first time the goo was the closest thing in his reach, the second when he needed to carry a heavy thing). but yeah, here it is.

he got his sigil when he was a teen, everyone was sigiled randomly no matter of the age back then; that was a messy time of reforms, after all. Hiero was basically forced to be a member of a random Coven. when he was in his early 20s, studying for being a teacher (the subject was not related to any Coven), he tried to change his coven to the Oracle, because he thought he'd be better in the OC than in the Coven he didn't choose to be in. well, he didn't succeed. Bump has learned to find other ways of using magic, and he rarely used his Coven one. when sigil removing became accessible, Bump was one of the first ones to remove the sigil. it was risky; Hieronymus was glad though.

the papers. doesn't need explanation as well, I guess.

the glove, the single one that he was wearing during the Watching and Dreaming finale. I really like the idea of Bump wearing the single gardening glove on his right hand, so the left wrist - now without a sigil - stays uncovered. show that you're free now. tell your past oppressors to suck a d-ck. yeahhh.

also the glove is like the last thing he has been seen with throughout the show. starting with a dagger, ending with a gardening glove.

to say in conclusion: I've tried to make this piece as much non-headcanonical as I could and I've fallen miserably. so instead of it you have the whole stash of my hcs. haha hehe

[neverhangd]

💋do they like to kiss while having sex? do they cuddle afterward?

👄do they prefer oral or penetrative sex more?

𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐀𝐘 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒

See, if I was better at writing a biblically historically accurate Anne Bonny (as opposed to the mess which is my own canon), I would have so much more to draw from as a source of inspiration for answering these questions! Unfortunately, I only write my Anne Bonny, so it becomes very important to note that while the historical figure was more likely than not a relatively promiscuous person (at least to judge by the few sources we have, which actually likely exaggerated her sensuality and violence for the sake of spinning a good yarn), my very angry and repressed daughter is…not.

She was a teenager when she married James and still not fully developed by the time she married Jack, both of whom were exceedingly jealous of her (historically as well as in my own canon) and would try to varying degrees of success to keep her away from other sexual partners.

And as is evident in my own canon, at least, neither of the J’s were terribly good, giving, or loving sexual partners.

TL;DR?: Take all of my Sinday headcanon answers with a grain of salt, as they mark largely unexplored territory for me as a writer (and Anne as a participant).

💋

By virtue of pretty much having only ever had sex with her husbands or other people she was in a relationship with…yeah. Kissing is a given. Anne would be the first one to tell you she struggles with verbalizing her emotions, so having a physical outlet like kissing is very much important to her.

She would be and has been a cuddler when she’s allowed it. Jack even used to complain about sharing a bed with her because she would inevitably end up wrapped around him at some point in the night, “like a damned octopus.”

👄

Interesting question, depends on the partner and the context! One thing I’ve learned about Anne is that despite her near-complete inability to use it as intended at all other times, she’s actually stupid good with her mouth. It’s a skill she learned early on in her first marriage and has frequently put to good use since. Despite her current canonic lack of ladies, she also knows how to eat out pretty well! Nine times out of ten in (what she thinks are going to be) one-off sexual encounters, she’ll give oral and call it a night. She’s never received oral (see above for details!), so I don’t know if she would enjoy that just as much.

That said, she’s a woman of the 16-1700s in an exceedingly dangerous profession where things like contraceptives aren’t regularly or reliably available. Unless we are talking about an established partner, someone she deeply loves, someone she deeply idolizes, or any combination of those three traits…girlie won’t be letting you go to pound town. Just bad optics. On top of which, although she’s been able to climax while giving oral (…thanks to her own ministrations, listen, she does not have a healthy sex life in the traditional sense), she’s never been able to achieve the same penetratively. That said, she does prefer penetrative sex with one (or more) of those three kinds of people I mentioned earlier. Because she’s so often used oral sex as a means to an end, it lacks the feeling of intimacy for her that does still come with penetrative.

[a-dumbass-jester]

Ok so this is what I have in the wh imortal au so far

story part

Og thread

“Witch’s heart au centered around the human side where you take the fact that wilardo is immortal and the other four(4) are mortal and flip it!(and kinda exaggerate it)”

- Wilardo Adler -

mortal human A 22 year old florist looking for flowers in a cave and then next thing they know they’ve been transported to another realm full of monsters and inhuman beings.

- Sirius Gibson -

a star(the Sirius star specifically) who lives in the sky, but can leave and visit other places if he wants. It’s also worth noting when he’s in the sky he can see everything. He can also distort gravity a little bit by making him and/or small/light objects float. Because of this he often likes wears very flowy loose light clothing. Edit: Sirius has constellations on his skin

- Claire Elford -

Bird like creature. Claire is a very friendly half bird half humanoid creature who shows Wilardo around after night falls and Sirius has to go back to the sky. Unlike most the creatures there Claire can die however it takes much more to kill her. She also lives much longer than humans to. Her arms and legs are that of a birds. She uses her arms to fly.

- Ashe Bradley -

a shapeshifting water creature (Inspo) he lives in oceans and comes up often to visit the others. He is made of water and the more water he has the bigger he can be. That’s why he’s essentially a giant when he’s in large bodies of water. His form is stable enough to be able to travel on land without consequences. When he’s on land he likes having a much smaller/ more human sided form. If he feels a lot of emotion (Especially negative ones) he can start to melt. He also likes to wear much looser clothing so he can shape-shift more comfortably.(I’m imagining something like a robe) he can also control and manipulate water that he is touching. His hair length constantly changes, most the time it is around floor length.

- Noel Levine -

Biblically accurate angel (reference 1) (reference 2)He lives in the sky and visits often. He wasn’t always like this, he was once human but died a few decades ago and became an angel. He is covered in eyes and wings. He has wings attached to the back of his head and back. He doesn’t actually have any facial features but it’s obscured by the wings, floating eyes, the eye loop things and hair that cover his face.

- Rouge -

a Medusa like creature (Inspo) I like to think she’d be a lot like that. She looks very similar but now her hair has been replaced with snakes. Also her whole turning people to stone think works with eye contact and best on humans. She’s often found in bars and places of the sort wearing a fancy red dress.

- Zizel -

a fairy/pixie. Imagine she as a tiny pixie that’s small enough to fit of peoples hands. She sips from tiny teacups and lives is big teapot. She also speaks with bell like sounds that everyone (except wilardo(and other humans)) can understand. Her and Sirius drink tea together sometimes:))

- Dorothy Elford -

Witch she look almost exactly like a human except for her point ears and ability to use magic

- Sheila -

siren/mermaid. she also looks more fish like there with visible gills, fish ears webbed fingers and various fins across her back and the backs of her forarms.

- Lime -

a catgirl or smth idk EDIT: NO IM CHANGING TJIS SHES AN OCTOPUS shes basically the same except her legs have been replaced with octopus tentacles(don’t be weird). She messes with Ashe a lot.

i migjt add more of the characters later

“Wilardo is a mortal who stumbled into a different realm of immortal and inhuman beings. The others are some of those immortal beings he comes across!”

The plot is basically wilardo and the rest of the human side try and figure out how they got here and how to get home

Wilardo got there by picking the dark lily

As a multishiper who ships wilardo with all of the human side I’m having so much fun with this

Put so much time into this I hope you like it!!

ALOS If anyone has any ideas feel free to tell me I would love to see them

[entheundead]

God is a shut-in.

God, as we discussed previously in a civilised and polite manner, IS A COWARD. He resides in his extravagant abode consisting of a singular golden gate (lame, gold isn't a even a good metal) and some clouds (made of water, kvass is better (i am not an addict)). He also has some angels made of eyes (lame, i made a biblically accurate alien garfield-coloured octopus, so im way better) and some dudes that were too unsinful to be with the hot guys in hell and their awesome muscles capable of throwing me into Satan's church of enlightenment on how to effectively sin to get more men. Where was i? oh yeah GOD IS A COWARD, HE REMAINS IN HIS CLOUDY WITH A CHANCE OF ELDRITCH ANGELS LAND AS HE COWERS BEFORE HUMANITY. DO YOU REMEMBER THE LAST TIME GOD WENT DOWN TO HUMANITY? JESUS. He is whatever he is. Jesus got nailed by probably muscular dudes onto a giant T aka a cross. In other words God was murdered and people didn't stop making fun of his death even after he abused the revival glitch and patched it, so I couldn't do it. So what does he do about his death? Remain in the not so damned sky, he trapped himself there as he already experienced getting absolutely murdered by shirtless muscular roman dudes and fears it happening again. COWARD. I WOULD TAKE ON THOSE DUDES WITH THE POWER OF YEAST INFECTION. THOSE NERDS HAVE NO CLUE WHAT A LIFETIME OF CONSUMING GLUTEN DOES TO A MORTAL BEING, THEY ONLY JUST BEGAN THE CREATION OF GARLIC BREAD. GOD REMAINS THERE IN THE SKY, EATING COTTON CANDY CLOUDS AS HE KNOWS WE HAVE IT BETTER, HE FEARS GETTING DOWN TO US AS HE KNOWS, HE BLOODY KNOWS WE WILL KILL AGAIN. HE SHUT HIMSELF OFF FROM THE ENTIRE WORLD, WHY DO YOU THINK NO ONE HAS SEEN HIM IN MILLENNIA?!?!? HE IS A DAMN NEET. PROBABLY WATCHES ROMCOM ANIME TO HIDE THE FACT HE AIN'T GETTING LOVED BY HIS OWN CHILDREN. HE QUIT HIS JOB AS GOD AND REMAINED AS A NEET. MY PROOF OF THIS IS I STILL HAVEN'T GOTTEN MY ESTROGEN AND BLåHAJ as well as skort go spinny and shork and and aaaand im getting sidetracked arent i. Ahem as I'm politely criticising God I will also add the fact that he is probably hiding because I wanna rid off the flesh he bestowed me by peeling it off like a banana and letting the skeleton free from the meaty prison, also like a banana. But unlike banana, bread. Bread is said to be the body of Christ. Do you know who that is? GOD. I AM DEVOURING FLESH OF GOD.

[lilybug-02]

For your birthday, here is biblically accurate Bread!

Hope ya like it!

Have realistic Memoji Octopus

Hehe thank you ☺️

[jellofeesh]

Hello I made a biblically accurate dumbo octopus

How to summon -

Draw a summoning circle

Put can of tuna on the center

Chant [ REDACTED ]

Hooray you have a new fren

He is besties with Cthulhu

[oh-katsuki]

taking a break until tomorrow on the ask game <3 

[zealiketea]

hello hello hiiii :3

do you have a momen to talk about our lor and savior dana octopus squid

i have all day to talk about biblically accurate squid <3

[mildlylesbian]

Guys I need to put this out there... Anurapoda means Frog with many legs.

I'M NOT JOKING. Anura is the scientific name for frog, and poda is taken from the science name for Octopus. Poda means many legs. Anura means frog. Frog with many legs.

Biblically accurate Anura when-