#big supporter of jason being his worst possible self

[spooky-kakashi]

you know what i dont think jason is half as bad as he could be he doesnt even tell people to kill themselves

[currentfandomkick]

Marinette did not sign up for this part 8

first part here previous part here ao3 here

update at last!

--

Marinette almost screamed when she saw the knitting needles on her balcony. It wasn’t even her birthday yet. Was he around? Taunting her?

School wasn’t helping. She kept her eyes on the windows.

It didn’t help her team was scanning the area constantly… and she was certain that Kagami somehow got out of school as she could spot Ryuuko before school even started, and her shadow had’t moved often.

Alya, Nino and Adrien weren’t leaving her side. Kim had taken to joining them (and with him, Max and Alix) with Kim determined to get Marinette to wear one of his hoodies since “you look cold.”

She knew that was code. ‘Let me help.’ She wasn’t sure this was something safe for them to help with.

“Thanks but I’m good!” was highly ineffective.

Before lunch Kim had his hoodie on her. It made it harder to find her with the change from her usual outfits once Adrien and Alix stole her hairbands.

They were doing a plain sight disguise. She knew it.

Going to Alix’s after school helped a bit with that.

She still felt eyes on her. She couldn’t tell who’s.

Alix was the one to break out the guardian translations with her dad. The Kubdels knew more than most of her team—time travel side effects after all. It was a big part of why she could trust them in the first place: Alix wanted to help and her father knew there would be a Ladybug in Paris before giving Alix the family heirloom. When Marinette saw it after studying the miraculous for a bit and asking Fu if there could be two rabbit miraculouses… it lead to Fu merging the two (from two separate timelines).

In the one Mr. Kubdel was from, a girl named Bridgette took up the role of Ladybug and was followed around by a questionable Black Cat. Mr. Kubdel’s grandfather prevented that timeline from happening—changing key events and all—but was prepared for the chances another rabbit would be needed. His son was not a good fit… (poor research, questionable retention, and overall bad at delicate work) meanwhile Alix had street art done quickly and intricately, fast reflexes, and adored learning history to the point some topics had been re-written in the curriculum for “the complete BS this hack is pushing” and “obvious refusal to stick to the facts” among other objections with heavily cited and sourced works to back up her claims. To a truly terrifying degree.

Its also why once they were out of sight, Alix and Mr. Kubdel and her escaped to one of the secret passaged kept off the current schematics for Miraculous related reasons (escape without being seen leaving) and Alix brought them into her burrow sans ‘time windows’ for her peace of mind.

“What do you want us to do Ladybug?” Bunnix asked.

That was the question…

They tracked that the issue began with what let Robin identify her in the first place. The most likely culprit was the flaming akuma… if Alix went as Bunnix and helped Ladybug catch the butterfly or got it someone else, then Robin would never have identified her, and their current situation wouldn’t be happening.

She wouldn’t be hunted by the Ghosts of Gotham.

But then… her team wouldn’t exist, not as it does.

Chat wouldn’t know who she is.

She wouldn’t exist.

She… she wasn’t willing to give that up.

“We’re not undoing the past.”

Bunnix nodded, gliding around the empty space.

Mr. Kubdel opened and closed his mouth before finally offering his own suggestion. “Perhaps, we could capture them.”

Marinette ran over that option. It wasn’t bad. Not by a long shot… but the capture would deprive Gotham of its vigilantes…

“We only keep Robin, any others captured are cut loose as soon as possible and removed.”

“But Robin is the one that knows your identity,” Bunnix reminded her.

“The others probably figured it out already. But that’s not why we’re keeping him.”

Mr. Kubdel gestured for her to clue them in.

“Remember what the Aesir and Vanir did to end their dispute?”

Mr. Kubdel searched his memories until it hit him. “Ah. That.”

Marinette nodded. “Add in a game of chase, move to the home turf, and we have our plan.”

“And you’re bait?” Bunnix checked, no longer moving about as she absorbed the plan.

--

If you were a civilian in Paris, you might catch sight of what must be someone’s idea of a joke. As not only were there Big Justice Members running around with your local heroes—who up until this point had only worked with one other group (Quantics) who were Europe-based.

But seeing some guy in black with a bluebird on his chest go head to head with Rena, Miss Sting and a very pissed off Monkey King and Pegasus (since when does he get mad like that? Kid looks like he’s going to end Bluebird) was not a sight you were able to process at the moment. Wonder Woman joining the group was the cherry on top. and Carapace was moving civilians out of the way and sometimes caging them all in Shelter.

You also catch an enraged Chat Noir and Ryuuko tearing after some fashion disaster in a cape down the street. A cape for godsake. In broad daylight. Green Lantern was flying after them, and since when does Chat’s suit… move? Like, you’re pretty sure that’s not normal… at all.

Ryuuko and Fashion Disaster (FD for short) are sword fighting. Chat is attacking FD at any opening. Viperion is with them, sometimes shouting directions. Green Lantern seems to be keeping the fight from spilling over.

A check on the Miraculous News App shows pics of Fashion Disaster trying to get too close to the baker’s daughter. You know, the one that kind of slips the heroes snacks and is seen with Chat randomly at her balcony? The one you’re 30% sure he’s crushing on and in some war with Ryuuko for the heart of. Why else would the two be seen so often around it?—Akuma school is across the street.

You blink a few times when you realize that baker’s daughter is visibly scared of FD (and you’d be too if a random Mask with a sword showed up) and apparently had Bunnix with her at the time to help move faster.

That meant whatever happened in another time had to be bad…

Bunnix mentioned that in the world where she went Princess Justice there wasn’t much to stop her…

You can see why the team is a tad… okay, really overzealous. You’re pretty sure Chat tried to cataclysm FD after Ryuuko sent him flying with the air attack.

You manage to get a better view (For the People! and not to mock the villain later—no siree!) of the Bluebird fight. Dude gets taken down by a combination of things in short sucession—Monkey King landing a hit with his power, Wonder Woman’s lasso (through a portal—good on you Pegasus!) that he got pulled through, a flute to the head by Best Girl Rena, and paralyzed by your favorite striped heroine.

The take down shocked FD and Green Lantern caged the guy (teen? Kid? They look small.) and moved them over by Wonder Woman and her group, some of whom dispersed to recharge.

Never claim Bruce is not a dedicated parent. The best? He hopes not. The worst? He has met Stephanie’s parents, and he is far from them. And Cas’s. And he knows he’s not as bad as Rah’s. He is dedicated (and a serial adopters, but shhh). How does he know this?

He managed to reactivate his kid’s trackers and noted where they intersected and looked into properties, deeds, and children in the school across from the bakery Stephanie and Cass had taken to camping out in when not at their hotel rooms. So far, he narrowed down his daughter to three possible candidates—Mireille Caquet, Marinette Dupain-Cheng and Laura Pretre. The only three girls in the age range he suspects Ladybug is in (he paid attention to the early videos and crossed her references, videogames and knowledge of the teens’ involved (re: knowing their names before the class became an akuma gold mine).  They are also the only three from his candidate pool who were adopted or single mother of the right age to have caught his younger self’s attention—a few interviews of the heroes let slip that Ladybug’s parents and her team’s parents are unaware of what they do, and her vicious support for child support and adoptive parents in a few akuma instances gave credit to her belonging to one of those two groups.

It was between Marinette and Laura in his opinion—they both ran a fashion boutique online. Mireille was a model the two shared, but still a possibility.

Jason was helped him narrow it down—a consolation for being stuck in bed and not allowed on patrol for the night. Apparently he was also trying to call off the identity search in-person to prevent any accidental identity reveals and prevent further stressing of “Lady Bat”.

Bruce may have smiled at the nickname. He doubted his daughter would appreciate it, but nicknames had a strange habit of sticking if Jason gave it… for better or worse in Tim’s case. (He was glad that Replacement was replaced with Tiny Tim, Timbo and Timmy).

He also noted that the girls were intent on Gabriel Agreste being Hawkmoth… and had a strange obsession with his relationship to Mayura given their search histories. Tim was still deciding between designers, and he did note that Marinette ranked highly on there… which was both a relief and terrifying.

That meant everyone but his daughter’s “business conduct supervisor” (Adrien Agreste, only son of Gabriel Agreste, primary candidate as Hawkmoth) had been akumatized and someone she had to personally fight while they hurled who knew what at her. He doubted it was good for her mental health. (Not that he has much room to talk, but still.)

Damian and Dick were refusing to respond to his messages, and likely engaged in something.

Until Green Lantern lit up his screen with a pained look. “Bats, this is not what I meant by get your house in order.”

The view panned to Nightwing and Robin currently held by a very pissed off Wonder Woman. With Chat Noir glaring at Robin, something off with his suit.

Batman sighed deeply. “I told you those two weren’t responding since Robin returned with Red Hood last night.”

Green Lantern looked at someone off screen, clearly taking commands from them.

“Uh, yeah… We’re having Supergirl get the other three back Stateside. Miss Sting and Chat want to interrogate these two since Robin was caught around a civilian they keep an eye on.”

Batman could hear what wasn’t being said. Robin went to talk to Ladybug’s civilian identity and it blew up in his face.

“… are any of you allowed to be present to monitor the interrogation?”

He doubted the teens would get violent. (he hoped) but there were too many unknowns.

A hiss from Chat Noir ended his ‘not likely to get violent’ train of thought. His one of his sons was caught stalking their leader, who he has previously tried to kill, and another aimed a gun at a member of their team. Violence was on the table.

And he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

“Ladybug will choose who comes.”

Robin looked up at him from the background. “Permission to ask Father a question?”

There was a moment when everyone turned to the figure off screen, likely Miss Sting given Ladybug’s refusal to be in the Justice League’s presence.

Robin turned back to the screen, Hal moving closer to give him a better view of Robin. HE was largely unbruised on his face and his breathing was even. Positive indicators.

“Am I allowed to unmask?”

Batman froze. Jason looked up from his spot. He could feel Babs choking on something in shock.

Hal and Diana reacted somehow, but they weren’t in screen.

He meant to do this far later. When she adjusted. To her alone, and later let her team know. ease them into it—there was no knowing one of their identities without knowing the rest. Not with how Ladybug’s mind worked. And he doubted she kept many secrets from her team.

“…I am not opposed to it. Preferably keep it to those you trust with that knowledge alone.”

Robin nodded. “Understood Father.”

--

When Ladybug showed up, she could feel everyone’s eyes on her. She ignored it as best she could, especially the silent Nightwing and Robin… possible assassins. Sent by her biological father who never even met her. it was going to be a long plan execution (and gods, she still needed to double check on the Hawkmoth as Gabriel theory and work out how to remove him from the company without screwing over a decent chunk of the fashion industry workers from design, store front to manufacturers and suppliers. And emotional whiplash of Hawkmoth trying to kill his own son twice. And the times he tried to manipulate her into Princess Justice and have it Stick in the timeline).

All it took was one look at Pegasus. One look and she blocked all the other issues swimming in her mind.

“Ah, we’re going there then… It’s a good thing Cowboy is resting for the moment…” Pegasus shook his head. “Voyage!”

Ladybug looked them over.

“Chat, Miss Sting, Rena, and Pegasus, I need you with me. The rest of you, patrol or return to civilian life until I return. If you come across an akuma, jar them. Contact us if you need a fix only.”

Carapace nodded, looking over at Kim and Alix. “We won’t let you down.”

Ladybug nodded, her eyes narrowing at the two League members present. She was still debating contacting the ‘only in an emergency do you contact this rogue branch’ group… they were once lead by a Chat Noir candidate, or still were… she wasn’t clear on that detail. What she did know is they went by League of Shadows in the book, but it was noted they favored violent forms of destruction, and she wasn’t sure if they needed that method… didn’t want them to need it either.

But the book stated the Amazons were loyal to Ladybugs. “Wonder Woman, please ensure the Bats are out of my city before we return.”

“Of course Ladybug.”

She turned to the Green Lantern. A shakier alliance with the lanterns historically, but also known to tell the Ghosts of Gotham off, and so far he’s shown a high favor of her team’s stance over his technical ally’s. Perhaps a personal grudge, or maybe the Justice League operated more like Gabriel’s company—a chain of command, specific roles somewhat dependent on each other, and no one had to like one another…

Wonder Woman was better to ensure the Bats left.

Green Lantern was the one holding Robin in his ring. And his “Core” as the book said, was most responsive to Ladybug who didn’t hesitate to protect others and themselves at once. That they showed a level of comradery during times when the Order followed philosophies that could be linked the idea of “personal and individual impact upon others with one’s actions and choice” was the exact wording.

She hoped she was doing this right.

“Green Lantern, if you would be so kind as to come with us and bring Murder Robin? You are free to roam once we get there, but don’t try to locate where on earth we are then. It’s the one place Hawkmoth hasn’t been able to reach, and I’d like to keep it that way.”

Green Lantern and Robin both agreed readily.

Nightwing looked like he really wanted to argue. A lot.

Wonder Woman somehow kept him from speaking as they left.

Marinette could finally breath when they entered the Temple. She wasn’t able to bring back the Guardians. She could bring back their scrolls, the library, the training rooms. It also meant they were far from Paris, from Hawkmoth’s reach, and that now the real plan had to be put in action… how to keep the bats out of Paris and her secret identity a secret. (Hawkmoth could wait. She needed time to work that out, and once she was sure, once the nagging doubt and what ifs stopped plaguing her… then she’d look for that solution… maybe Adrien could inherit early or they could arrange for his father to be caught committing tax fraud or something after getting Nooroo and Duusuu? Anything to ensure he was punished for his actions and that Adrien isn’t caught in the crossfire. She can’t lose the literal other half of her soul. She just. Can’t.)

Ladybug paused when she looked over Chat. His suit was… moving. Shadows were moving on his suit. That. That can’t be good.

“Chat, bring Murder Robin somewhere he can’t find a weapon, Miss Sting, make sure no one attacks anyone in any way, am I clear?”

Miss Sting gave a curt Nod while Chat hissed, but relented easily enough.

Green Lantern put a hand on her shoulder while Pegasus ran off to the library, likely to check up on his own additions to the place… bringing it into the twenty-first century was not easy.

“Going to check-in with what’s going on with your Cat?”

Ladybug glanced at him. “He’s my partner.”

“Pretty sure that’s what a Black cat is for a Ladybug,” Green Lantern said.

Ladybug didn’t respond, moving away from him and Rena to message Alix to find out what shadows have to do with the Black Cat… and if she needs to worry about a second Atlantis event.

------------

so things are happening because Mari is Smart Strategist, Protect Mari Squad is a force to be reckoned with (teen superheros love local baker daughter that gives them food and lets them hang out), Kubdels Know Their Timelines (Sort of) and Wonder Woman and Hal know better than pissing of a Ladybug while Bruce is off Suffering and Putting Shit Together.

and yeah, Damian is both the one who started this, and the one that Marinette wants to confront, (plus respects her secret ID rights unlike Certain Bats who made it a competition) so he gets First Meet rights in the way None Of Them Wanted.

anyone who wants to add to the madness, feel free to comment possible things and i'll see what sticks and doesn't.

fight scenes are Not My Best so i tried where I could (Sorry to batfam fans who wanted Dick to be Badass. he's up against Diana and four miraculous members directly PLUS carapace 'i am locking you into this space now' shelter? he's good but its Wonder Woman and five demi-god level heroes raised on adapt and overcome heroing. long battle but he was going to lose.) Damian's fight is left up to interpretation but Team-Work makes the Dream Work for this story.

@heldtogetherbysafetypins @laurcad123 @raisuke06 @chaosace@jeminiikrystal @toodaloo-kangaroo @kris-pines04 @bisha43rbs @izang

[demivampirew]

Keep Calm and Go to London chapter 19

Synopsis: This is the story of (y/n), a successful actress, musician, musical producer and songwriter. After battling depression and  breaking up a long relationship, she seeks for a change of air, escaping LA for a while going to visit some friends in London and there  she meets Henry. -Disclaimer: some chapters are mostly smut.

Previous Chapters:

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5 (smut)

Chapter 6

Chapter 7 (smut)

Chapter 8 (smut/roleplay)

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12 (smut)

Chapter 13

Chapter 14 (smut)

Chapter 15

Chapter 16 (smut/ s&m) Chapter 17

Chapter 18 (fluff-smut)

Triggers:   self-loathing; crying.

Tag list:  Here’s the incredible people who showed me support (thank  you    so  much for that) and people who asked me to tag them too  ☺️   (I    think  I will write a few chapters of this story, if you want me to  tag     you, tell me ☺️   ) @cavillanche @mary-ann84 @henry-owns-these-tatas @yespolkadotkitty @dancingwendigo   constip8merm8     penwieldingdreamer iloveyouyen  littlefreya  wondersofdreaming   alyxkbrl solariumss  sweetybuzz25 @thethirstyarchive @agniavateira   @honeyloverogers @hell1129-blog   @lunedelorient​  @michelle-1185​  @madbaddic7ed​     @summersong69​

The day that you had waiting since you started dating Henry finally arrived. It was May 5th, his birthday. You wanted to make that day as special for him as possible. Your plans before quarantine included a big surprise party. You were going to invite his friends from London, other friends that you thought might show up if they weren't busy - like Armie, Luke and Jason; his family and people who worked with him in The Witcher. You were pretty excited about it, but eventually, your plans went to hell once it was announced that you needed to remain isolated until further notice. But you wouldn't let that ruin his day. You woke up early to prepare him a nice breakfast and start to prepare the necessary ingredients that you'd later need to make lunch. He already prepared his birthday cake the day before. You ordered a few presents for him online and hid it with the summer clothing that you had to buy online since you'd only brought winter clothing to London. You put a collection action figure of one of his favourite online games and put it on a little gift bag and tightened it to Kal's collar, with a little tag that read "Happy Birthday Daddy, love Kal". You put a few new books for him to read in a box, next to a cool Superman t-shirt and a teacup with the logo of World of Warcraft. Inside the box, you also added a drawing of him and Kal that you made for him in the previous weeks while he was playing games. It's been a minute since you last draw something, but you surprised yourself to see how incredibly real it looked given the lack of practice. When Henry woke up, the first thing that greeted him was a nice breakfast on the bed with you and Kal. He was so happy with Kal's gift and the fact that you decided to include him. After you'd finished eating, you went into the living room to check the rest of the gifts. He loved every single one, especially the drawing. He was really impressed and immediately put it on next to the pictures that he had with his best buddy. You cuddle in the couch and kissed for a while. He couldn't stop smiling you were on cloud nine. Your plans were working perfectly and his day started the best way and you intended to make it amazing till the end. Around 11 am you decided to start making lunch. In the meantime, he was in a room that he was using as an office for work and playing games, having a birthday party with his family over a popular app called zoom. You were not part of it, because even though his family knew about you since the beginning - Charlie accidentally told their mom about it when you were dating unofficially- they hadn't met you yet. Quarantine not only had screwed your plans but his as well. He was going to Jersey in the second week of that month for the Durrell Challange - a marathon organized by the Durrell Wildlife Conservation Trust with the intentions of to help raise money for them to be able to continue saving animals- and he was going to take you with him to introduce you to his family. - So, where is the lovely lady you cannot stop talking about? - his mum asked him. She was alongside her husband. In the chat room, there was also Charlie and two precious kids; some of his older nephews were there as well; his brother Simon and Pierce were there as well. His other brother Nick was missing from the chat because he had things to deal with regarding his work in the Royal Marines. - She's cooking; she wanted to prepare a special lunch for my birthday - he explained. - When are we going to meet her? - asked the woman curiously - Well, probably in September for the Durrell Challenge. After quarantine, I have to get back to filming the series and I don't think I'll have time to fly there before that date and she has a movie to film after this, probably will in July if quarantine is over by then, after travelling to America is allowed again. - Is there a chance that she could join us now? I don't want to wait so long to see her. - she insisted. Henry asked them to wait as he stood up and went to see you. He found you and told you that his mom wanted to meet you. You accepted but you were nervous. Your ex's mother loved you and treated you as her daughter, but in the same time, as much as Jared loved his mother, he didn't pay much attention over what she could think about his desitions. Henry, on the other hand, you felt like his mom's words were holy. What if she didn't like you? What if his family didn't like you or wanted you with him? That thought scared you because you knew that his family was the most important thing for him. You tried to hide your emotions and act normal. You entered the room and shyly waved at them and sat on the chair Henry had left for you to sit on when you watched him play games. - Hi sweety, how are you? - his mother greeted you. She was beautiful. - I'm Henry's mom, nice to finally meet you. We could not stop hearing wonderful things about you. Quite an impressive young lady. - she remarked and you blushed. - Thank you. I'm great! Thank you for asking. How are you? Hi everyone! - you saluted the rest of the family members. Everyone said "Hi" back. They seemed nice. - I'm beyond excited to meet you and a little sad because my baby is growing so fast- she said looking at Henry, who laughed at the comment. - Mom, I'm 37. I stopped being a baby a long time ago- Henry pointed out, grinning. - You will always be my baby. The five of you will forever be babies in my eyes. Babies but also wonderful men. And I'm so proud of each of you. - So tell me more about you, darling. - she pleaded. You told them about your parents and that you had an older brother. - Do you have any nephews? - No, my brother does not want to have kids and his single, so I don't see it happening and even if he changes his mind about it, is not happening in a close future. - you informed her. - Well, if he doesn't have kids, at least they still have you to give them grandkids.- she replied smiling. Henry said "mom" and gave her a look, indicating she said something she shouldn't have said. You looked at the floor and thought "shit". You sighed and spoke again - Actually, I'm not sure.- you confessed.- I have had a conversation with Henry about this. I'm not sure I want kids. I never did before. Henry was lovely and granted me time to think about it; to talk it with my therapist to see if that's something I can do because I'd like to make him happy and for him to have his kids someday. That's why I assured him that if I decide in the end that I definitely cannot have children, I'll set him free to find another person who does. I'll never take away that from him. So don't worry, you'll be a grandma again someday.- you said and faked a smile when in reality you wanted to cry because you knew that they probably thought you were awful. You excused yourself to go check on the food and said goodbye to everyone. Once you were alone in the kitchen, you let the tears fall quickly, just in case Henry showed up. You couldn't ruin his special day. You couldn't be selfish and let your feeling messed up his mood. He had to have an amazing day. Henry showed up a little bit later. You were checking on the food. He kissed you on the back of your head and hugged you. - She shouldn't have made that comment. - he apologized. - She didn't say anything wrong. I'm with you. She knows you want kids, so she assumed that I wanted them too. It wasn't her fault that I'm a big baby that gets emotional about everything.- Great! You didn't want to screw up his day and now tears were rolling down your cheeks. He hugged you and kissed you head while you rested on his chest. - I wanted her to like me and now she probably hates me. She probably thinks I'm the worst girlfriend that you've ever had and thinks that I'm making you waste your time when you could be with a woman that knows for sure that wants kids. I'm so sorry! For everything! I'm the worst. I'm not sure I can make your biggest dream come true and I'm also ruining your day. He cupped your face with his hands and made you look at him. - You're not the worst. You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. I've never felt this happy in my life. I love you like I never loved anyone before. And you didn't ruin my day at all. The day has just begun, we had all the rest of the day to laugh and have a great time together. And my mom doesn't hate you, babe. She felt sorry for making a comment that made you felt uncomfortable. She apologized after you left. - She shouldn't. She didn't say anything wrong. She's so sweet and loves you so much. I want her to like me. I want all of your family to like me, but her above all. - you admitted - And I'm sure she does and she'll like you, even more, when you got a chance to meet her in another circumstance that isn't being in a chat with a bunch of strangers to you, looking at you like if you were a new animal at the zoo that they're seeing for the first time. You said that you're a big baby but that's not the case; you're a perfect functioning woman forced to talk to lots of people that you didn't know. I shouldn't have put you in that situation. That was my bad. I wanted to introduce you one by one, so you got a chance to be looser and not anxious. I'm sorry. - Don't apologize, baby. I love you.- you said and then kissed him. He was beyond wonderful. You cleaned your face and grabbed his hand and walked him to the living room. Your guitar was there, so you grabbed it and settled in the couch next to him. You told him that you had another birthday gift for him and then started to play the song you wrote for your boyfriend.

I've never gone with the wind, just let it flow Let it take me where it wants 'Til you opened the door, there's so much more I've never seen it before I was trying to fly but I couldn't find wings But you came along and you changed everything

You lift my feet off the ground You spin me around You make me crazier crazier Feels like I'm falling and I'm lost in your eyes You make me crazier crazier crazier

I watched from a distance as you made life your own Every sky was your own kind of blue And I wanted to know how that would feel And you made it so real You showed me something that I couldn't see You opened my eyes and you made me believe.

You lift my feet off the ground You spin me around You make me crazier crazier Feels like I'm falling and I'm lost in your eyes You make me crazier, crazier, crazier oh

Baby you showed me what livin' is for I don't wanna hide anymore

You lift my feet off the ground You spin me around You make me crazier crazier Feels like I'm falling and I'm, I'm lost in your eyes You make me crazier, crazier, crazier Crazier, crazier

He took the guitar from your hands as soon as you finished playing the song, made you sit of his lap and looked directly into your eyes. Without saying a single word, he said everything: he was as crazy for you as you were for him.

Disclaimer: in the fiction, she wrote the song for him. In reality the song belongs to Taylor Swift (for the Hannah Montana movie soundtrack) the song is called Crazier.

[blackbabybird]

Forgiven - Chapter 4 - An Event 

warnings: self hating bruce mostly and bad words. this is a long ass chapter, #sorrynotsorry kind of got carried away. however, we learn new things more and more everyday ;) also i think isley’s job fits her and bruce v v v well. enjoy:)

I get those goosebumps every time, yeah, you come around, yeah You ease my mind, you make everything feel fine

~ Goosebumps by Travis Scott

I parked my car in front of Cork County Middle School. The school itself was a large brick building in the middle of a corn field. It used to be an insane asylum. I grab my bag and get out of my car to head toward the doors of the school. Once I get up there, I pull on the door. It’s locked. I look at the wall near the doors, they have an extremely fancy security system. I buzz the door. 

“Hi there! What can we do for you?” a happy voice rings through the intercom.

“Uh, my name is Isley Thomas. I have an appointment with Headmaster-,” I look down at my phone, “Guille.”

“Give me one second, dear. I’ll get those doors open for you,” her sickly sweet voice came through again. 

A second later the massive doors swing open. I’m greeted by two men in riot gear. “Any weapons must be surrendered before entry into property. This includes, but is it not limited to guns, tazers, pens, and ninja-stars.” speaks the large guards. 

“Pens?” I ask. 

The other guard nods curtly. I shake my head and grab all my pens out of my bag. They take them and put them tightly in between their bullet proof vests. “Follow us.”

What the hell is this place? I walk silently in between the two. We arrive at large double doors with a Medusa head engraved into the doors. The two walk around me and open the doors synchronously. I walk through them towards what looks like the office. That same god-awful sweet voice rings through the hallways, “You must be Ms. Thomas! You’re shorter than I expected. Hm, anyways, follow me.” 

So I do. “I never caught your name, Ms...?” 

“You needn’t worry about me, sugar. Names get in the way. I’m simply the next vessel for Headmaster Guille. Oh, we’re here! Knock twice then let yourself in, alrighty?”

I nod quickly and do as she said. The room I walk into is white and pristine. Nothing, and I mean nothing is out of place. There’s just a desk and two chairs in the room. No computer or even a cup of coffee, weird. “Please, sit Ms. Thomas.” says a voice from my left. 

I sit down in on the chair across from the desk. Slow, loud clacking walks pass me. A woman sits in front of me. She has on black classic pumps, a pencil skirt and a white blouse. I finally make my eyes to hers and that’s when everything starts clicking into place. Her eyes are gouged out in an attempt to recreate Oedipus. “I am headmaster Guille, Ms. Thomas.”

“Thank you for agreeing to meet me Headmaster. I know you have plenty of other more pressing things to do.”

She turns her head, “Why, my dear, nothing is more important than finding one of my sweet, obedient students.” I nod in agreeance despite my weird feeling towards her and this place. “Why don’t you tell me more about yourself?”

“Well, I’m the owner of IT Investigative Services. We do freelance investigative work and are outsourced for police work occasionally.” I explain. 

“And your business here, is it freelance?” 

I feel my heart dip in a weird way, “No ma’am. The Cork County Police Department needed help and they outsourced me and my company to help with a missing persons case.” It wasn’t necessarily a lie. 

“I see.” she says. Her non-existent eyes felts like they were boring into my soul and making a home. “Well, I will say that we told the police everything, not sure what else I could say.”

“Anything helps. Especially when it comes to a missing child,” I say. 

“Ask away,” she says splaying her hands outward. 

I start asking the basic questions. Just small things I could compare to the recordings that I borrowed from the Cork County Police. Everything was going relatively fine until I seemed to strike a nerve. “So, I noticed that Amos actually lived in Andan County. That’s a 3 hour drive to Cork County. Why was Amos going to school here?”

She opened her mouth a few times with replies, but she eventually settled on, “Amos was a special boy. As are most of the students that attend here. However, he needed correcting. As do all of the students here,” she gives a tightlipped smile.

Now we’re getting somewhere. “Why did he need correcting? Did he do something bad?” I ask simply. 

“As with most 13 year olds, he was ill-mannered and bad tempered. He had to be corrected,” she repeats.

“Fair enough,” I nod. Time to go for the kill.“Yet, there is one more thing I’m confused with. Amos was an orphan. One that lived 3 hours away from this county, so who told you he was being a nuisance?” 

If this woman had eyes, I know she’d have a look that could kill. Her eye sockets bend slightly. “I’m afraid I’m going to have to ask you to leave, Ms. Thomas. We have an assembly soon that I must attend.” 

“Of course, Headmaster.” I say as I start packing up my stuff. I walk to the door, feeling her cavernous holes in my back. I go to pull the door open, but then I stop. “One last question,” I say. She looks up at me, “Who reported him missing?”

Bingo. Question answered.

The smile she gave was cruel and mouthy, “Some questions needn’t be answered. Have a good day, Isley.”

I walk out the door and head back to my car. 

/// 

When I arrived back at my car after successfully getting my pens back, I scrutinized the building. Being in there fucked with my mental state. Something was off about the place and I wanted to know more. My phone starts buzzing. It’s Phoebe so I click answer.

“You bitch! I can’t believe you,” Phoebe’s voice screeches through my receiver. 

“That’s one way to talk to your boss,” I deadpan.

“Boss or not, you’re literally the worst person I know.”

I scrunch my nose at her insult, “Let’s say hypothetically that is true, what exactly did I do to deserve such a title?” 

“Beside be a size 10 in shoes when I’m an 8?” I roll my eyes, “You also never mentioned that THE Bruce fucking Wayne of Wayne Corporation invited us to a fundraiser in Gotham City.” 

I sit there listening to her, “How’d you know about that?”

“I was going through your emails and there’s an invite. Also, pause, you knew?” she huffs.

I shrug even though she can’t see me, “It’s just a Wayne Event. It’s not a big deal. I didn’t even know it was a fundraiser.”

“Yeah, he’s going to try and get the Gotham socialites and old heads to give money for a-,” she stops talking and there’s some slight shuffling in the backgorund, “Ah! A metahuman trafficking recovery center. It would be an extension of Arkham Asylum.”

I feel my heartbeat get 10 times louder, “Pheebs, I need to call you later. I’m still here at Cork County Middle and I need to finish some paper work before I drive back tonight.”

I don’t wait for her to say goodbye before I hang up. I start dialing Bruce’s number. 

///

One. Two. One. Two. Jab. Hook, hook.

“God fucking damnit,” Jason exclaims. 

“The fight not going well?” I ask.

“Bruce. Manny Herechio has to win tonight.” Jason starts.

“Has?” I interject. 

He rambles over me, “HAS. I have so much money on this fight. Like, my future children’s money kind of money!”

I shoot him an amused look from my book. “I’m sure he’ll pull it out. Underdogs have a weird way of doing that.”

“OH MY FUCKING GOD. HE DID IT! HE FUCKING DID IT MAN,” Jason shakes me. 

I smile at him, happy that he’s happy, but then the scene changes. I’m now Batman and I’m holding Jason. He’s barely breathing and there’s so much blood. “You did this. You did this to me.” He breathes out angrily. 

“Jay, what? No, I didn’t! What do you mean?” I explain.

“You, the fucking Batman of all people, should have saved me. I’m dead because of you!” He’s now yelling at me. 

I feel the panic flutter throughout me. I should’ve saved him. It should’ve been me. 

The clatter of my phone hitting the floor shakes me out of my daydream hard. Less of a dream, more like a nightmare. The phone goes off again and I grab it from the floor. Isley Thomas flashes across the screen. I press accept. 

“Isley? Hello?” 

“Have you lost your goddamn mind?!” she seethes through the phone. 

I pull it away from me. “I can’t catch a fucking break today,” I grunt out. I put the phone back near my ear, “It’s possible I have, but depends on what this reason is,” I joke. 

“This event, party you’re throwing is for the business proposal that was between us privately. What the hell, Bruce?” 

I can tell she’s upset at what I tried to make a surprise. “It was supposed to be a surprise.” 

“A fucking surprise? For why?” she all but yells into the receiver. 

“I presented it to the board,” I didn’t. “And they didn’t like the idea of Wayne Enterprises being the face of metahuman trafficking support centers,” I explain. “Having a fundraiser will show that people, specifically people with money, are interested in defeating the metahuman trafficking.”

I can hear her breathing. “You could’ve just told me that the board rejected it,” she pauses, “I would’ve dealt with it.”

She’s not incorrect. However, I needed a win for today, “You told me that this was Staya’s dream. I just wanted to do everything I could to try and make it come true.”

She doesn’t reply anything. For a second there I think that she’s just hung up on me. “Okay. Next time, let me know ahead of time, please, Bruce,” is all she says. Then she adds, “I have to work. I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

I hear the click of call ending and put the phone down. I bury my face in my hands. I walk to my door and walk to Sonya’s desk. She looks at me with a smile, “Mr. Wayne! What can I do for you?”

“Sonya, I’ll be unavailable for the rest of the day. See that the fundraiser details get figured out. I want to no hiccups, understood?” She nods, typing furiously. I continue, “Perfect. Thank you.”

I walk to the elevator and press floor one. I lay against wall in sheer exhaustion. Between my guilt from Jason and my repressed feelings about Isley, I needed to punch something. 

/// 

I took another sip of my coffee and continued typing on my computer. I was trying to find information about Cork County. “With the way you’re hunch over your computer, we’ll have to get massages before heading to Gotham,” Phoebe said pointedly. 

I roll my eyes, “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“Fair enough. Enough investigating today boss lady. If we want to make it to Gotham in a decent hour and avoid traffic, we need to go,” Phoebe insists as she shuts my computer. 

“I made us a reservation at some fancy hotel. It offered nails too, what a deal. And, ooh, our dresses were delivered!”

“I thought we were going dress shopping today?” I say scrunching my nose at the implication of Phoebe picking out a dress for me. 

“Oh no you don’t. We were yesterday at 4, but someone,” she squints at me, “was a bit forgetful.”

I inhale, “Okay, that’s my bad. I’m sorry, this case just keeps making new turns every second. I feel like I’m drowning.”

“Well, tonight, no missing children to worry about.” 

I nod and smile at her. If only it was that easy. 

///

“Master Bruce, people will be arriving in less than 30 minutes, what on Earth are you doing?” I heard Alfred call for me while I was in the Batcave. 

I kicked the bag again. Focus. I kick again. 

“Master Bruce?” I hear Alfred again. I shake my head. Focus, Bruce. I kick the bag again. The chain breaks and bag flies across the room. 

“That is the 8th bag you’ve broken this week, Master Bruce.”

I exhale deeply. “It’s unimportant.”

“Perhaps to the ghosts of this cave, but not you. Never mind all that. You must shower and get dressed immediately,” Alfred says pushing me quickly towards the stairs.

“Can I at least take the elevator if speed is what we’re going for?” I grumble. 

“That privilege was lost once you made me trundle down those godforsaken steps and come get you!” I trudge up the stairs his insistent demands. 

When we arrive at the top, “Mr. Maurice, sorry to keep you waiting, Master Bruce is insolent when it comes to other’s time and efforts,”

I shoot Alfred a dirty look at his insults. He simply flicks his hand and I’m being taken by the tailor. Who starts showing me different fabrics and colors for tonight’s event. “What do you feel tonight Mr. Wayne? Navy or Black? I have grey also, but it has not been a fan favorite for the year.” Maurice explains quickly. 

I look at the colors. The black always speaks to me, but tonight was different. Because Isley will be there. I ignore my thoughts, “Let’s take a walk on the wild side, shall we?” 

“My thoughts exactly, Mr. Wayne!” 

I go to hop into the shower and prepare myself for tonight. 

///

I can hear the people downstairs. Drinks are flowing and soon enough the cash will be too. I hear my door open. “Only man I’ve ever known to be fashionably late at his own home.” It’s Dick. “Also, I don’t know what the fuck those little sausage balls are made with, but they are delicious. Woah-”

I turn and look at him, his mouth is wide open with the same bits sausage hanging in his mouth, “What? Also, please close your mouth.”

“This suit...who are you and what have you done with my best friend?” Dick jokes.

I just grunt and turn back around fixing my tie. I hear Dick’s laughter stop, “Okay, I’m sorry, here let me help with your tie. It’s more crooked than Cobblepot’s teeth.”

He fixes my tie and I can’t help but think about Jason. Dick searches my face, “You been thinking about him?”

I turn back to look in the mirror to inspect the knot he made. It answers his question. I know he wants to say something, he just doesn’t know what. No one ever does. “Master Bruce, Mr. Grayson.” Alfred’s voice turns us both around. “Almost all the guest are here. It is time to make an appearance.”

“Well, thank god I didn’t throw the party. I’m gonna find some pretty ladies and some more of the sausage balls.” Dick chippers happily and leaves this room. 

Alfred turns to do the same, but not before saying, “Mr. Todd is a great man. Just because you’re choosing to move on, doesn’t mean you’re forgetting him.”

“Don’t you mean was?” I ask.

“No. I meant is. What’s that saying you always tell the board members when you’re not present? Oh, yes, physicality is not the only way to be present.” With that Alfred mules out of the room.

I follow after him. I make it down the stairs, “Man of the hour. Mr. Bruce Wayne.” I hear some rich old guy yell at me. He grabs my hand and shakes it furiously. 

I do this for about an hour before I clink my glass and everyone quiets down. “I want to thank you all for being here,” I start, “Tonight was a bit last minute, but I am so glad to have the ability to host such things that bring us together. Tonight is about us expanding Arkham Asylum to host those affected by metahuman trafficking. Donations, as always, are tax deductable and can be written to the Wayne Corporation. Again, we are going to make a difference.” I raise my glass and every one claps. “But please, keep enjoying the booze, gives me an excuse to buy more!” I add with laughter. 

I make my way through the crowd towards one of the balconies. There’s just a woman out there. “What a speech,” she says as she comes out the shadows. 

It’s Isley, but she looked...beautiful didn’t even begin to describe it. Her hair is  straight rather than its usually curls. She has on a silk baby blue dress that ends at her mid thigh. Her dark eyes are blown wide with the chill air and small goosebumps litter her dark brown skin. “Isley,” I breathe out, “Thought you bailed on me.”

She turns her head like a curious cat, “Me? A flake? Never.” she says with fake ingenuity. “Although, I was very late. Phoebe loves to take her time with me.”

My eyes scan her face, “Well, she did an amazing job.” I compliment.

A smile grows on her face, “Why thank you, Mr. Wayne. You clean up nicely yourself. A navy blue suit? How daring.”

“Dick already made fun of me for it, I thought it was time to step out a bit.” 

She steps close enough to grab one of the lapels. “Dick? Also, it reminds me of prom. Senior year,” she whispers. 

I grab her wrists, we’re extremely close now. “Well, look who I found hiding in the shado- oh?” 

It’s Dick, again. I breathe out slowly, “Dick, meet an old friend. Isley Thomas.”

[theoncomingchaos]

Eliot’s Ending Explained (Why Eliot x Charlton makes sense and wasn’t out of the blue)

One thing about The Magicians, is that because it has so many characters and so many main plots, the personal journeys don’t always get the attention they need to feel fully realized. That doesn’t mean they aren’t there or that they don’t make sense, it just doesn’t always feel as satisfying as it could if given more time. Eliot ending up with Charlton followed a very typical romcom plot line which honestly has been hinted at earlier, it just wasn’t given the time it needed to be fully realized.

Let’s first talk about most people’s complaints: the fact that Queliot didn’t have a happy ending. Honestly, I don’t know what really happened outside of the show, there are rumors now that Jason wanted to quit, but I don’t think we will ever really know what happened. The fact of it is that inside the story, Q is dead and cannot come back, and if you care about Eliot, you shouldn’t want him to grieve forever. In fact, a huge point of having Rupert as the dark king was to show what Eliot could become if he didn’t let go of Quentin. We saw that grief was destroying him, and we know how Eliot deals with grief: suicidal tendencies, drugs and alcohol. He felt alone, like even Margo couldn’t understand his grief, and it was killing him. Add on the trauma from being the monster and he was really hitting his lowest point. Hale even mentioned that there were times this season that Eliot did not see the point of living. 

His arc, therefore, becomes about letting go of his grief, learning to be brave enough to show his feelings, and being open to love again. 

That being said, let’s look at his 2 love interests this season. 

First, Rupert. Handsome, mysterious, and actually understands Eliot’s grief. He was everything Eliot needed at his lowest point. However, this season is following the romcom plot of a love triangle where the protagonist falls for someone who isn’t right for them before realizing that the right person for them was right beside them all along. Rupert is wrong for him because despite their bond through grief and their physical attraction to each other, Rupert is NOT ready to let go of Lance. The fact that at the end, he has gone through with opening the gate is proof of this. He could not let himself move on, even for Eliot. 

However, their relationship did help Eliot to overcome his grief (at least enough to not let it destroy him) and allowed him to be brave enough to share his feelings by telling Rupert that he cared about him. Even though they couldn’t be together, it was through Rupert that Eliot finally knew what he needed and was ready to welcome it. This follows the pattern of the romcom mentioned above because it is usually only through the wrong relationship that the protagonist sees what they really need.

Now, let’s get to Charlton. Charlton has been living in Eliot’s memories: seeing the best and worst of him, watching over him and seeing him struggle alone in his grief. When the groundhog’s day episode happened and Eliot was at his lowest point, Charlton did everything he could to break out and be there to support him. At that point, he had already fallen in love with him. Charlton literally drew hearts to try and get Eliot’s attention so that Eliot could let him out. He used the door that Eliot associates with love, family, and happiness to try and reach him. 

From that point, Charlton realizes Eliot likes Rupert, and despite his own feelings he tries to stop Margo from killing Rupert FOR ELIOT. This is another part of the romcom, where the best friend holds their feelings back and supports the protagonist in their bad relationship because they want the protagonist to be happy no matter what. It is a selfless love. 

That leads us to Charlton’s confession. Ordinarily, the protagonist realizes the love on their own and makes some big gestures which is why this story probably didn’t feel as satisfying as it could have. However, that doesn’t mean that Eliot is unhappy. We know that Eliot has a very low self esteem when it comes to love. He is scared of it, even though he is open to it and longs for it. He is trying to be braver, but a big gestures is maybe a bit too much for him realistically. Plus, let’s be real, Charlton is a bit dorky and overly innocent, so Eliot would have dismissed him the way typical romcom protagonists dismiss their best friends before ultimately choosing them in the end. Hell, he had dismissed the idea of anything happening with Quentin until Quentin kissed him.

When Charlton shares his feelings and explains why he is the right choice, we can see that Eliot is surprised, but for a moment he is near to tears. Here is the person who knows him more than anyone, promising to stick around and love him despite his flaws. Eliot leading him upstairs to explore things further is his way of embracing this chance at love and happiness with him.  

Like many of the plot lines, it is left a bit open (possibly because they are still hoping they will get another season) but even without a continuation, this is Eliot’s happy ending. Charlton has all of the things Eliot needs and loves in people (including what he loved about Q: goodness, loyalty, dorky cuteness etc.) and we can see the emotional journey Eliot has in that scene thanks to Hale’s superb acting. He reaches out to touch Charlton’s face, glad to see him as himself again, lingering and then gets scared and backs off. Once he has the love confession, he is interested but still unsure, thus looking back on the stairs. Charlton reassures him again, and then we see Eliot become more confident- though maybe a bit shocked because who knew dorky, innocent little Charlton would go all in like that. Damn. (Just like most of those romcoms where the best friend turns out to be way more proficient than originally expected...) 

In conclusion, it may have been underwhelming, and we could have done with a post-sex talk or some scenes of Eliot getting to know Charlton better but the pieces were all there and followed a well known pattern. It wasn’t perfect, but it didn’t come out of no where either. 

[ellana-ravenwood]

The first time they called you “mom” - Batmom x Batboys

I...Did not plan on writing this. But today, I wanted to reply to some asks about the Batfam (more particularly about Batmom), and um...Well I got so carried away on the very first question I tried to reply to, that I ended up writing a full fic about it and I guess I’ll answer other asks later ^^'. So anyway, here we go, the title is pretty self-explanatory, hope you’ll like it :

My masterlist blog : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

Dick.

“And here we go Dickie. Now, you’re a true pirate.”

You say, as you adjust an oversized tricorn on the boy’s head. He moves a bit too quickly to peak at his look in a mirror, and the hat falls back on his forehead. And oh it’s the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, him turning back to you and trying to look at you from below it. 

Once again, you place the tricorn back as best you can, smoothing the huge peacock feather planted on its side while you’re at it. You hold it in place for a few seconds to make sure it won’t fall again, trying to figure out a way to balance it on his ears, and say : 

“We really need to get you a hat your size...This one is way too big, it’ll get in the way if you have to fight for the treasure !”

He looks at you with sparkling eyes...Well, with one sparkling eye. A “true pirate” obviously wears an eye-patch ! He looks at you with that one, bright blue sparkling eye, and with the deepest voice his little nine years old vocal cords can muster, he says : 

“Arrrr, a simple hat won’t get in the way of me getting my treasure ! I’ll throw it at the ruffian who wants to steal my gold from me, distract them, and then I’ll...make them fall on their butt ! ”

You chuckle and shake your head, utterly charmed, once again, by this little boy. Really, how could you resist such a sweet smile ? His cuteness emphasized by the fact that he just lost a few of his front teeth. 

“That’s a very nice technique little one ! Show me how you’d do it !” 

He jumps a bit in the air out of excitement, and takes a few steps back from you. Harboring a fighting stance, he unsheathed the wooden rapier you made for him, and the gesture makes the hat immediately fall on his eyes again...But he takes hold of it with his hand that isn’t holding his sword, and throws it at an imaginary enemy. 

He then stabs the air, yells a very piratey “Aaarrrrr” and tackle his made-up opponent fiercely. Getting back up on his feet, he takes his hat again and put it on his head and say, proudly, looking at the empty spot in front of him : 

“Stay on your butt, you miscreant ! Captain Grayson wins again !” 

But as he takes his victory pose, the tricorn falls on his eyes again, kinda ruining the moment. He turns to you, lifting it up and says : 

“...Maybe I need a smaller one.” 

You chuckle as he comes to you a bit pitifully, hat in hands. But then in a matter of seconds a smile is back on his face and he says : 

“Hey, this can be yours instead ! My second in command needs a fancy pirate hat ! This would look great on you !”

He puts the hat on your head, it fits. And his sweet smile widens. He mouth the word “perfect”, as you say, a bit mischievously :  

“Oh ? I’m your second in command ? You sure you wanna give me that much responsibilities ? What if I commit mutiny ?”

“Oh you would never !” 

“How can you be so sure ?” 

“I just know you wouldn’t !” 

“But what if I want all the gold for me ?” 

“Nah, you’re not like that ! You don’t care about rich people things ! I know because you say no to a lot of things Bruce wanna give ya ! Now, if you were Miss Kyle I’d be a bit worried. Because she would definitely try to steal the treasure for herself. She likes fancy things ! Nothing wrong with that of course, I like fancy things too ! But I wouldn’t make her my second in command...but you’re you, not her !” 

Your smile falls from your face immediately. Ugh. This is so ridiculous. You don’t want to act like that, jealousy really doesn’t look good on you (though Bruce would argue that you look cute, when jealous).

Selina Kyle is such an extraordinary woman that you can’t help but compare yourself to her, wondering why Bruce ended up choosing you. You and him had been together for a while now, but from time to time, your insecurities would surge again. In the worst moments possible. 

Like right now, as you were having fun with Dickie. 

You force a smile back on your face as the boy comes to sit next to you. He looks deep in thoughts before turning back to you and saying : 

“She’s pretty. Miss Kyle.”

“She is pretty.”

“You’re prettier.”

Oh. Oh that dear boy. You felt a bit silly that even an eight year old noticed you were bummed out by just him mentioning her name, and that he felt obligated to cheer you up. You ruffle his hair and say : 

“You’re too sweet.”

“For real ! Only saying what I think...Plus you’re nicer.”

“Selina is very nice.”

It’s true. Selina was really nice. When she realized Bruce was totally head over heels for you, and that you were a bit insecure...She completely stepped down. And started to actually flirt with you, definitely boosting your ego (I wrote a fic about that, now I can’t link it because if I do it this won’t appear in the search since Tumblr “killed” links, but you can find on the Batmom’s master list, it’s called “Insecurities schmunsecurities”.)

She actually became a close friend of yours, over the month. She was a very supportive one at that, which made you feel even guiltier that from times to times, you found yourself jealous of her. Or afraid Bruce will realize the mistake he made and go back to her, leaving you (you will realize overtime that this will never happen, that this is a ridiculous thought, Bruce being too deep in love with you). 

You hate the fact you think those things, but you can’t help it. You can’t get over all your insecurities in a matter of seconds. It’ll take years, for you to finally see things for what they are...That Selina moved on and is only friend with Bruce now. That she would never even think of trying to steal Bruce away, because that’s not who she is. That Bruce doesn’t see her as anything else but as a good friend. That he’s in love with you, and only sees you. 

Yes...It’ll take time for you to get over all this confidence issues and...Dick’s voice takes you out of your thoughts :

“Oh yes yes. She’s nice. But she um...how to say ? She’s cool. And was never mean to me. But I don’t think she cared that much about me.”

“Aw sweety, I’m sure she likes you.”

“I know she does. She thinks I’m cute”

You can’t help but chuckle at the kid’s confidence. Haha, maybe you should take his example ? Dick continues : 

“But she doesn’t...care. Not like you at least. She cared a lot about Bruce, but she just kinda liked me, you know ? While you...You like, took Bruce and I in the same package ? She likes me, but she had no intention to be to me what you and Bruce are. You know ?”

“What do you mean ?”

You ask, smoothing the tricorn’s feather absentmindedly. On that very moment, you didn’t quite realize what the kid was getting at...His next words make your heart race with joy : 

“Like...like a mom and dad ?”

He says shyly, looking up to you before avoiding your gaze. 

Silence fills the room. You want to say something, but you’re too touched and every words die in your tied throat. You’re trying very hard not to cry, in fact. But the silence stretches and Dick wiggles nervously next to you. 

Finally, he talks first, and his shaky voice breaks your heart :

“Am I...am I a terrible son ?”

“What ?”

Is the only stupid thing you can say.

“My mommy and daddy died only a year ago. And I miss them so much. Every day. But it’s getting easier ? Because you and Bruce are here ? Sometimes I almost call you...Sometimes I...wanna call you and Bruce...I want to...I...”

Tears are welling up in the boy’s eyes, and you could slap yourself for still being unable to say anything. Because what he’s saying ? You’re feeling it deep inside your bones. Your heart. Your entire being. 

You don’t know when it happened exactly, but you’ve been considering him your son for a while now. You know you’d do anything for him. And hearing him say that he considers you his...his...That he wants to call you...It’s too much for your heart. And you can’t say anything. 

But you can do something. You reach for him, remove his eye patch to truly take a good look at him and...You bring him in your arms, holding him tight against your heart, so he can hear how happy it made you that he...that he...

Later. Later you’d tell him that you knew for sure his parents wouldn’t mind if he called you and Bruce “mom and dad”. That his parents would forever be that, his parents. And because of this, they would want for him to be happy. To move on and not get stuck (like a certain Dark Knight). 

That he wasn’t a terrible son for only remembering the good times with them. That he wasn’t a terrible son if he didn’t always go see them and their graves. That he wasn’t a terrible son if he found a family again...

Later. Later you’d tell him all that. 

For now, you just held him tight against your heart, hugging him with all the love you could give. And in a whisper, holding onto you for dear life, he says : 

“...Mom...” 

************

Jason.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaare you gonna take me home tonight? Aaaaaaaaaaaaah, down beside that red fir’light Aaaaaaaaaaaaare you gonna let it all hang out? Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go 'round”

Your voice mixes with Jason’s, as you skid down the floor in Wayne manor, wearing socks (they slide really well on the wooden parquet) and pajamas.

Jason is holding an oversized bowl filled with sugary junk food. Ice cream, popcorn, candies, loads of sprinkles ! And you’re using a whipped cream canister as a mic...Those things are probably what got you both on a very big sugar high ! 

This morning, Jason had a mild fever. A certain Bruce kinda freaked out and allowed him to stay home instead of going to school...Which fell perfectly well with your one day off this week ! 

Jason got over his fever before lunch time, and was getting bored. 

Enter you, with a stereo on your shoulder, blasting Queen. The boy jumped on his feet, abandoning the animated show he was watching to follow you into the kitchen, overly excited. You always came up with great and fun activities ! 

You guys started to mix every single dessert that were available in the Manor in a big mixing bowl, singing the lines of “Don’t stop me now, ‘Cause I’m having a gooood time, having a good tiiiime” to Alfred as he pointed out all of that wasn’t very healthy...The butler gave up quickly, seeing how Jason and you seemed to be beaming with joy. 

With a fond smile on his face he left the two of you alone saying a quick “clean after yourself please”, and ignored the fact that young Master Jason was climbing on the kitchen counter and was air guitaring the solo of the song, walking in and spreading sprinkles EVERYWHERE. 

And now, a few minutes later, you were dancing all around the mansion, holding your huge bowl of desserts and a whipped cream canister. 

Jason was standing on the living room’s coffee table, opening his mouth as you filled it with whipped cream, while you continued to sing : 

“Hey I was just a skinny lad -you  point at Jason, who takes a huge spoonful of ice cream - Never knew no good from bad But I knew life before I left my nursery, huh Left alone with big fat Fanny She was such a naughty nanny Heap big woman, you made a bad boy out of me Hey hey!”

You’re aware the song is a bit inappropriate for an eight years old boy...But he doesn’t really understand the lyrics and the tune is so catchy that you couldn’t care less. Plus it’s too cute to see how he wiggles his little butt to the rhythm. That kid really knew how to dance. 

You’re sliding down the corridors now. Your slippers had been discarded somewhere in the house a while ago, so you could slide properly all around the wooden and marble floors. 

Jason dances happily following after you, the huge boom box on your shoulder not hindering any of your movements. 

He takes a spoonful of dessert and puts it in your mouth, a wide smile spread on his face as he misses on purpose and spread ice cream all over your chin. 

You laugh and stick your tongue out to him, as the song continues : 

“I've been singing with my band Across the wire, across the land I seen every blue eyed floozy on the way, hey But their beauty and their style Went kind of smooth after a while Take me to them dirty ladies every time”

Yes. Lyrics definitely not appropriate. But Jason is having too much fun to realize what any of this is about. Plus he’s still such a pure and innocent little boy, you know he has no idea what most of this means. 

You’re in the house’s main hall now, where the acoustic is the best, and you both sings your lungs out. You settle the boombox on the floor, and spray a large amount of whip cream in your mouth before giving some more to Jason. 

Putting away dessert and canister, you take his hands and start jumping around the room. Just for the happy face the kid makes, all this is worth it. 

“C'mon! Oh, won't you take me home tonight? Oh, down beside your red firelight Oh, and you give it all you got Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round Fat bottomed girls, you make the rockin' world go 'round”

Jason is definitely not sick anymore, and his giggles fill the house. You chase after him all around the main hall, and when you finally catch up to him he burst into a loud laughter, drowning the rest of the song with it. 

It’s contagious, as you start to crack up too, unable to stop. It’s only when the song comes to an end and the CD does too with it, the music stopping altogether, that your laughter subsides. 

Jason frowns and, turning to you, exclaims : 

“Again mom, please please, again !”

On the moment, neither of you even realize he just called you “mom”. It felt THAT natural. THAT normal. He had been in your life for months now, and this was just the definite next step to take. 

Later on, it’ll finally hit you and you’ll give him the biggest hug of them all. And for him ? Well he always wanted a caring mother, but wasn’t gifted with one at birth...So your existence was truly salvation. 

But that would come later. For now, you didn’t even notice him calling you “mom”, and he didn’t even realize he called you that, as you turned the music back on and were both dancing around the manor again, eating way too much dessert. Oh well, you’d worry about bellyaches later ! 

************

Cassandra

Cassandra didn’t speak. Couldn’t speak. 

When she needed to communicate, she’d mainly use sign language. 

She wasn’t mute. She could make sounds, use her voice. 

But she...never really learned to talk. Her biological father raised her to be the ultimate weapon, and cut her out of any social contact to try to achieve this. 

The only encounters with other people she had, was to fight...Which resulted in her being unable to speak. 

Bruce brought her home two years ago. 

And those two years were filled with a big personal journey for Cassandra. 

She communicated through vague hand gestures and drawing, at first. Then eventually learned sign language. You and Bruce spend hours and hours with her and videos, teaching it to her, as she still seemed to be unable to speak. As if something stopped her from doing so...

She learned how to interact with other people, without fighting or killing. 

She...She learned to know that she was worthy. That redemption was attainable. That it wasn’t her fault. 

Bruce was sweet, with Cassandra. More delicate than with his sons. Maybe it was because she was a girl, maybe it was because she was more broken than any of them (at the time, Damian wasn’t in your life yet). More forgiving, too, as even after he discovered her past and the fact she started to kill when she was barely eight, he didn’t give up on her. On the contrary.

He actually settled to teach her his own values. No kill. Justice. All that. And she listened. Eagerly. Abiding by his rules willingly, understanding the worth of all lives. Slowly getting over what the man who called himself his father taught her, over all this pain and misery she went through since she was born. 

And you ? Well you, you made it your mission to teach her about anything and everything. To show her the World, the one she was deprived of all those years. 

You started things slow and easy, as to not overwhelm her. 

You showed her your favorite movies and TV shows. Put on some music and talked about your favorite bands. You talked and talked and talked, hoping that maybe she’d copy you at some point ? Try to make a sound ? 

But she only listened. Eagerly. However no words came out of her mouth. 

Eventually, you moved on to things you didn’t particularly like music, movie or book wise, because you wanted her to experience “everything”. To catch up. 

She seemed to like it, so you kept going. She liked movies you hated, and vice versa. She was forming her own personality, and wasn’t trying to copy you, or to agree to everything you said. You made sure she knew it was safe to be herself, when she was with you (and with the rest of the fam). It was good. 

After a while, you took her with you on outings in Gotham. She only ever saw the city from the roofs, as she roamed them looking for her targets.  

It was such a joy, to see her eyes go wide at the sight of some shops. Or to touch trees, lost in her thoughts. Looking at ducks on the pond. Being overly excited about giving bread to said ducks. 

She became a big fan of hot dogs, and whenever she saw a cart would point at it excitedly and smile at you. You could never resist, even if Alfred would scold you afterward because you guys ate right before lunch time. 

You went to see movies at the cinema with her, took her to concerts. You took her to the mall, thinking maybe she’ll like clothes and such...And she did. Albeit not exactly what people would think. She took a liking to the “punk subculture”. And to be honest, ripped jeans, spiked necklaces, platform shoes and such fitted her perfectly. 

She went through multiple hair color phase, and each time, you supported her and dyed her hair however she liked. Because in your opinion, a teen should go through those phases !

But she still wasn’t speaking. 

Two years. Two years of you helping her discovering the world, while Bruce taught her his principles. Two years of sign language, and slowly learning she wasn’t a bad person. 

Two years. But not one word. 

You were still hopeful though. She made such progress, since she first arrived. You kept all her drawings, when she was communicating only with those, and...It broke your heart, how her first drawings always represented her as if she was the worst person in the world. 

When she met you and Bruce, saw your life, she blamed herself for so much. Both you and your husband reassured her though. She knew her past actions were wrong, which was more than most even realized ! Plus, it wasn’t her fault. It was all her “father”. All the man who turned her in a weapon. 

Because when she was finally given the choice to “repent”, she took it without hesitation. She followed Bruce. She left behind all this pain and violence to start a new life. 

Two years. For two years she followed that path. And she was great at it. You were convinced this kid was a deep empath...She cared a lot. 

But she still didn’t speak. 

You didn’t intend on giving up though. You knew one day or another she’ll find the strength to talk. But the healing process to come back from this past life of hers was long and laborious. 

She couldn't be fixed in two seconds. She needed time. So in the meantime, you’d settle on showing her everything you knew, helping her experience the “real” world. 

You were showing her one of your favorite TV show, “Gilmore Girls” when it happened. The show was mainly focused around the deep bond between a mother and her daughter, which in retrospect...Well, it made sense that it happened when you were watching this. 

You were starting the third season when...

“Mom.” 

At first, you didn’t quite register what had just happened. You were so used to her silence. In your head, it wasn’t possible that this sound you just heard came from her. 

“Mom ?” 

But it did. The main character from the show, Lorelai, was having one of her most famous quirky moments, it was one of your favorite scene and...you slowly turned towards your daughter. Your daughter ? Um ? When did you start to consider her as such ? 

The first day she entered your life, a little voice answered in the back of your head. And it was true. Cassandra became “yours” as soon as she sat foot in the batcave, with her lost little eyes and inability to properly communicate. 

“Mom.” 

She says again, pointing at the TV. At Lorelai, the main character and the “mom” of the show. You were so shocked, that you could only nod. 

Yes. Mom. 

Cassandra smiled, apparently satisfied of your reaction. She pointed at the screen again, and said : 

“Good...mom.” 

You nodded again. Yes. Yes Lorelai was a good mother. She turned back to you, pointed at you this time and said : 

“You...” 

You ? 

“Better.”

Better ? Uh ? 

“You. -she pointed at herself - My -she was pointing at you now-...mom. Yes ?” 

Your heart stopped. You felt like you were dying. Those few words...Those few words overwhelmed you. 

Two years. Two years Cassandra stayed silent, occasionally interacting through sign language, but mostly listening. Smiling, nodding, being curious...

Two years of silence. 

And when Cassandra finally found her voice. When she was finally able to speak...

“Yes Cassie. Yes. Your mom. Yours. I’m...” 

You said, chocking on your own voice, barely audible, as you brought her into a hug. 

“You. The one. Cannot speak now.” 

Cassandra says, amusement in her voice. And it’s true, this time...this time you’re the one struggling to get any words out. 

Two years of silence finally broken, as your daughter found her voice. 

“You. My mom.” 

************

Tim.

You were so, so, so so so so so SO proud. 

Tears filled your eyes, as you saw him on the stage, holding proudly his trophy. 

Things were made even more beautiful because...This was a normal moment, in a normal kid’s life. This didn’t involve capes, too many coffees and hours of sleep spend on the computer instead of in a bed. 

This was all...Normal. 

Tim had been in yours and Bruce’s life for a few years now. At first, his parents were still alive so he still lived with them...but they never noticed when he was gone. Parents of the year right ? When they died, it seemed logical to adopt him as your own. 

He was such a smart boy, guessing at the mere age of eight who Batman really was, while no one else in Gotham seemed to have a clue. 

But because he was so damn intelligent, his life...His life really hadn’t been normal. All of your kids’ life wasn’t quite normal, but you somehow always managed to give them a semblance of normality. By playing with them, by being silly with them etc etc. 

But Tim ? Well. Tim was too focused. Tim never quite really acted like a normal boy. He reminded you a lot of Bruce, but Bruce was a grown ass man now. And even him, according to Alfred, had his moments of being a kid even after his parents’ death. He also lived eight blissful years being the most spoiled child in the World...

But Tim ? Tim never acted like a boy his age. Sure, he played sometimes. And he joined in on Disney movie night. He would accept your cuddles and affectionate hair ruffling any time. He loved when you read him a bed time story...But those moments were so rare ! 

So here, right now, at his school’s science fair...You were just incredibly proud and happy. Because it just felt like he was a normal kiddo. 

Still smart as hell, sure, but that he had “normal” worries. 

That very same morning, he was so stressed and scared of not winning the fair. That his experience wouldn’t work. That he’d be ridiculous. 

He had “normal” kid of his age worries ! Albeit, you wished he didn’t had any worries at all, but it was nice to see him act just like all the other ten years old at the fair. 

It was also nice to see he had many friends at his school. That he wasn’t a loner, that he didn’t isolate himself like he sometimes did at home. 

If you didn’t go look for Tim to spend time with him, he would get lost in his work and never come out of his room. Forgetting to sleep and eat. He was way too dedicated...Well. Again. He reminded you a lot of Bruce. 

But here he was, being a normal boy, proud to present his work at a normal science fair. 

Of course, you and Bruce came to see him. And he seemed so happy, when he saw you coming in the room. 

It kinda broke your heart, that he wasn’t sure if you would come or not. He did reserve you some seats though, in the front. 

“I’m not sure I’ll win, I probably won’t but...I’m glad you came !”  

You saw him worked on his project for the past six months, and it was amazing. Maybe it’s because he was your son but you were sure he’d win.

Wait. Your son ? Um...no. No question mark. 

Yes. Your son. 

He still called you and Bruce by your first name, but in your heart, he was your son. Yours. 

And oh, seeing him so proud and happy to show you his work, and to introduce you to his friends...it was such a joy ! 

Plus, it was so rare to hear him blabber about normal subject. It made your heart beat with happiness when he whispered in your hear that he had a crush on the girl whose project was just next to his. She was a “smart cookie”. 

You and Bruce teased him a bit about it, just enough so that he would still tell you things afterward and not be vexed or anything like that. 

He showed you around his school, and...He just talked so much ! It was great. 

And then...Then the day arrived to its end. 

He was sitting between you and Bruce, holding yours and Bruce’s hand tightly to his forehead as if to give him courage, waiting eagerly for the result of the contest and...His name. It’s his name they called. 

People applauded, but no one quite cheered him on as much as you and Bruce. You whistled, yelled “YAAAAY TIMMMMMYYY !!” while Bruce was telling to whoever was listening that it was “his son”.  

The boy climbed on the stage, and was handed his trophy. 

And oh you were so proud. And he looked so happy, so far from the dark world he lived in at times...Seeing him so happy, made you happy. 

Just like seeing him sad made you sad. He was your son. Your little boy. You wanted only the best for him, and sometimes it was so difficult to give it to him...

Not today though. No. Today, you were glad you encouraged him to take part in the science fair contest. Because oh he just looked so joyful ! 

The teacher asked him if he wanted to give a quick speech, and you got a bit worried. Tim was such an introvert, public speaking was definitely not something he enjoyed. 

And yet, yet he grabbed the mic excitedly and yelled : 

“Mom ! Dad ! I won ! Look ! Look I have a trophy !! Look it’s almost as big as me ! Look mom !! Look dad look !!” 

He was trotting all around the stage, under people’s fond laugh. Everyone was definitely thinking about how cute that little kid was ! And he was...yours ! 

No more first names. “Mom”. “Dad”. And he won. The trophy...The trophy was really almost as big as him (damn private school and their bling bling). 

You were an absolutely blubbering mess by the time he jumped down back to the seat and showed off proudly his trophy to you, calling you “mom” and “dad” repeatedly as if it was the most natural thing in the world. 

And it was. Because he was yours. Your little boy...

************

Damian.

“Stop, stooooop ! I’m fine, I really am ! Oh my god unhand me now !!” 

Damian tried to wiggle out of your grasp, but you were holding onto him too tightly for him to be able to. Exasperated to the maximum, he yelled : 

“MOM, LET ME GO AT ONCE !! I’M OKAY !!!” 

This did the trick. You let go off him and just stared at him, shocked.

What did he just call you ? 

He looked at you and let out a nervous chuckle. He...He didn’t really mean to call you that. 

Or rather, he meant to do so for a long time, but never dared. Because what if you didn’t want to be his mom ? What if you didn’t want him as a son ? He wasn’t technically yours, after all. 

Now of course, none of your kids were technically yours, and yet you accepted all of them. But Damian...Damian was actually Bruce’s son. So he thought...He thought maybe you hated him for existing ? Even though he was conceived before you got with Bruce ? 

Damian was overthinking. And he never overthought. Not on such matters at least. Because you know what ? He was so sure he didn’t care about you, at first. So sure it didn’t matter if you didn’t like him, because you were just “the woman married to his father”. 

But then...Then he changed his mind. Because even though he wasn't yours, and even though he was really mean to you, you still treated him like you treated your other children. 

Even though he was a brat who insulted you many times...You never got mad at him. Sure, you got a bit snarky a few times, but just enough to make him realize he was being ridiculous, and yet not ridiculing him. 

You even stopped Bruce from getting mad at him (your husband had the tendency to always jump in to defend your honor, even if you could defend yourself just fine...it was actually rather cute, in the end). 

Instead, you just accepted him as he was. You withstand his tantrums, not batting an eye. You listened to his rant, without ever scolding him, but instead conversing with him. Trying to show him another point of view. 

Damian didn’t want to get attached to you...But it just kinda..Happened. 

He had been wanting to call you “mom” for a while, by now, but never dared. Because he was afraid you’d reject him, even if you shown nothing but understanding to him. He just...Well, he wasn’t sure his heart could bear your rejection. 

He never really had a real loving mother. Instead of good night kisses, his mother left him beaten half to death in his bed, left him to take care of himself. 

He never had bed time stories, but assassins send in the middle of the night to train him to be always vigilant. He never had cuddles, but punches. 

And sure, he had encouraging words, but they were all about him becoming ruthless and heartless, and one day ruling the world. Not about him being close to beating his high score in a video game ! 

No. He never had...Someone like you. A real mother...A mom. And he was afraid that if he finally called you “mom”, the spell would be broken. You would be weirded out, and things would change.

But tonight...Tonight as he came back to the bat cave, something snapped in him. That night, his intercom broke in a fight and you were worried sick that something might have happened to him as you had no news. 

And when he came back, and only had a few bruises and cuts...You just couldn’t hold yourself anymore. You were completely unaware of Damian’s inner turmoil about calling you “mom”, because for you...he was your son. 

He became your son that first time he finally warmed up to you, finally smiled at you and said “yes” to playing a simple board game with you. And you thought you made it clear enough that you considered him your son...But oh, to Damian, who wasn’t used to it, of course it would be scary. And of course he would be unsure if he understood things well or not. 

As soon as he came in the cave, and you saw he was unharmed, you rushed to him and took him in your arms. Making sure not to touch his bruises and cuts. 

And that’s when it happened.

That’s when Damian struggled against your hug because oh my god he was fine ok ?! No need to worry that much !! 

That’s when Damian said, in the most natural way ever, “mom”. Because of course...of course only a mother could be THAT worried about him. Right ? 

That night, something truly snapped inside him. Suddenly, everything made sense. Yes. Of course. 

“Really mom, I’m fine.” 

His siblings, his father and Alfred were all looking at him, a wide smile on their faces. His brothers and his sister remembering the day they themselves first called you “mom”. 

And you ? Well, you had one of your famous “burst of affection” all of a sudden, and grabbed onto your son, crying and saying : 

“My baby boyyyyyyyyyy !!”

It made Damian incredibly happy, those few words...Even as you were almost suffocating him under your hugs and kisses. 

____________________________________________

I feel like I wrote a lot of stuffs talking about what Batmom means to those kids. Talking about how they feel about her and vice versa. But I realized I never wrote about that first time they called her...”mom”. If you want all the background infos about how everything came to be, go check my other “Batmom x Batkids” fics (especially the sad ones at the end of the list, if you know what I mean) :). Anyway I hope you liked this thing I wrote on the spur of the moment, and as usual, feedbacks and reblogs = LIFE. On that note, it’s very VERY late (again, I got carried away) so I’m off to bed. See ya soon !

PS : If you’re wondering why Duke does not appear, simple reason : while he’s a member of the Batfam and all, I don’t think he considers Bruce (and by extension Batmom) like a dad (and so mom). Bruce is definitely a mentor. And he takes care of him while his parents are “sick”...But Duke’s parents are still alive, and there will eventually be a cure for what they have. Know what I mean ? I feel like Duke is more like a “cousin”, a “nephew”, than a son. HOWEVER, to compensate the fact I didn’t write about him here...I’ll write an entire fic just about him and how he fits in the Batfam. Because I can. Bam.

PPS : Appreciate this cute Dick Grayson from Earth 42. Imagine him looking like this in the fic, but with a pirate costume. Cute lil Dickie. Also, his story was the longest out of all the Batboys because I realized he’s the one I made interact with Batmom the least. And Damian’s is the shortest one because I wrote a LOT of stuffs with him bonding with Batmom :). 

[alphaofdarkness]

I wish to know more of your awesome OCs!! So, 19, 22(or maybe as an alternative if they don't, something you mischaracterize on some of them by mistake? Odd, but I sometimes mess up my own ocs XD), 23, 24, 26, and 32 for the OC questions!!

Oh! You beautiful person you! 💖🥺 Of course I shall tell you more about my many, many ocs! Hopefully I can fulfill! 🥰🤗

More undercut because this turned out to be very long ~ 😅

19.  Introduce an OC that means a lot to you (and explain why).

Aw, honestly all my OC’s mean so much to me! It is hard to play favorites sometimes lol. Though, if I had to choose, I’m going with two of them!

Samantha, or Sam, is definitely my baby and has definitely developed so much from her original self. Nonetheless, still the same shy, curious girl who has a big role to uphold as chosen Beta to her Alpha. Plus, being a Legendary Wolf Warrior of Light, even more so! Still, despite many the many hardships and obstacles she has faced, she is still hopeful and a total sweetheart. She just wants a settled life and live her with her closest pack mates. 

I have definitely put her though the ringer a lot, emotionally and even explored just several internal things with her. I know Danielle is meant to be me in a sense, but personality and emotional wise, I am more like this lovely Angel. Best girl and everyone loves her!

Second is definitely Danielle (my BsD self insert). Personally, because I have started to embrace her and give her more of my personality and who I really am. Still keeping her as her own person with her struggles, in some aspects, but giving her more of me as well. She has definitely allowed me to have some more self love for myself. Even if it is come and go on most days. She has just grown to be more of a gradual part of me in the recent years since I got into Bsd. I truly love her as she gives me a reason to embrace the parts of me I never would have considered so much or even just not like about me.

Self shipping has definitely also helped, I just love Dany very much and hold her close, please she may be stubborn but she is hella fragile ;;;w;;;

22. Is there any OC of yours people tend to mischaracterize? If yes, how?

Hm, I wouldn't say anyone has mischaracterized my characters so much that I know of, maybe my parents whenever there is a moment they see my Oc’s and just make a judgement on them on the spot lol.

I suppose me mischaracterizing my OCs would probably be the Seven Deadly Soul Sins? Maybe ^^, These seven, practically, ghost entities of the Seven Deadly Sins are meant to be perceived as the worst possible people/wolves. Their existence is the reason people do bad things and are the negative contrast to the Legendary Wolf Warriors. 

Take an old, unfinished draw of all 7 of them together~

I know what they are, how they behave, what their very existence and presence entails. However, I have come to the bad tendency of redemption in my line of story telling, I often find myself back and forth whether there is any redeemable qualities that should be given to them considering their very existence and such. Envy, or Evelyn, is one that I can definitely see having something on that accord, but she is still at her core bad. 

I don't know if I am saying this correctly or even answering the question well lol. But yeah, I say my Deadly Sin OC’s often can be mischaracterized in a way. I can definitely picture them being top favs if my story was an actual thing. I support the fans in all they come lol ^^

 23. Introduce OC that has changed from your first idea concerning what the character would be like?

I can't think of one I changed too much out of concern for what they are like that I can remember to be quite honest ^^, 

I guess maybe Wisler? I know when I first came up with the start up concept of the LWW, I never intended for him to be a previous Warrior. It was always meant to be Dany’s Aunt who possessed it and Wisler was just a precautious elder wolf who needed to teach her to better her powers, less she gives it up like his daughter had. 

Of course, the whole concept and idea, just gives way for him to have been a possible warrior in the past. If anything I just the developed the idea more and made it more of a tragedy for Wisler. Normally, the concept of being a LWW is meant to be a blessing, a gift bestowed by a greater power, but to him, after giving up his power and remaining upon the world, he just sees it as a curse. Pride only solidified that into his mind. Nonetheless, he becomes a mentor to the other warriors to better themselves and keep them from giving up their power.

Second, was more of a momentary interest in the Chronicles of Narnia and being ever so salty about Susan being left behind, while her family died and went to Narnia ;;;w;;; 

Silly thing really, but literally chose, out of all the warriors, Lidia to be the one to be left alive, from whatever scenario I had at the time, because she refused her soul gift of the LWW’s. It was a momentary silly concept, I don't know why I would chose her for this scenario at all, she doesn’t deserve that ;;w;;

If anything, the ones that I can picture are Yamato and Danielle, just because of their mental state and emotional turmoil under such a heavy weight of loss. It was a silly concept I had thought of once, and just cry little at the thought ;;w;; 

24. If you could meet one OC of yours, who would it be and why?

Heck, I would love to meet all of them... and heavy apologize for all the hell I've put them all through ;;;w;;;

But Jason~ most definitely...Not cause I self ship myself with him or anything but UwU,,, He is a sweetheart and a beautiful boi ~ I want to love him and give him a soft life pls.

26. Have you ever had to change your OC’s design or something else about them against your will? 

Ahh,,, All of them, in a way? ^^; my middle self was something else entirely~

I think design wise, most if not all my warriors, are still the same. Maybe just a few new upgrades in their fur shade, colored eyes, and maybe their human designs too. Most definitely will change more in the future, just for the sake of bettering myself to draw people.

Old, high school art~ Cringe 

Any new design change is purely out of being in a more better mindset of design and just development of what make them unique. I have definitely changed all of their Soul Markings, I have changed Lidia’s name from Leafia recently, Taka’s formerly sky blue eyes to more of a pale green, Sora’s former tail scar to the claw ones on her shoulder, etc.

Origin, personality and relation wise on the other hand, GRADUAL SHIFT! Some points:

Sora, Yamato, and Takaru are heavily inspired by the Digimon Adventure kids of the same name, I kept their surnames of the ones from the series for a long time into at most Junior Year of High School. Til I learned, if I want to make them my own, I have to change this entirely!

So Sora, Yamato, and Takaru are definitely different entirely from their original selves, personality and kind of design wise.

Sam was kind of meant to be like Kari from Digimon in a way, but heavily refused to name her that or make her in similarity of the character.

Another Oc of mine named Jacob Wolfe was originally going to be the Warrior of Earth before I came up with Lidia.

There was originally meant to be just 5 Warriors, Lidia and Jason not yet part of it and, surprisingly, neither was Danielle.

Jason was originally named Damien and was kind of, for a while, Danielle’s twin sibling... Changed that drastically and entirely after renaming him to Jason.

Originally, had some other mythical beasts living amongst them in the Forest of Dreams, like dragons and gryphons for a while.

Originally, played with the idea of the warriors coming back to life if they didn't give up their powers, but... after much though it just became more of a “too cheesy of choice?” Especially for an ending thing before the next generation kids come in, it was just not an option after a while.

These are just some that I can think of at the top of my head at least, I am sure there is much more scrap things in my mind lol.

32. Which one of your OCs would be the most suitable horror game protagonist and why? 

...God I don't want any of them to fecking die grueso-(I should shut my mouth actually),,, even though I will admit I did internally put my warriors into a shitty thought-out idea of them in a Final Destination scenario...

Ahh, may Yamato in a way as that stoic, hardened protagonist with the will too try and survive, Wrath is his counter self sin, I find that fitting in a way. Same with Jason, just because of his slight nativity to being a warrior and how he left his former abusive living from his alpha and stepfather. Oddly enough, maybe Sam? Just because of her ability to see the worst things to happen in the future, but I am not sure lol.

Am thinking of the new Resident Evil game I see floating around with some gamer youtubers and I can see Yamato and/or Jason in the position and setting.

—✨——✨——✨—

I truly enjoyed all these questions! It gave me time to think and reflect on my ocs! I do hope you enjoy some old, blurred and unfinished art from ya wolf girl~ I truly appreciate this and gives me the feels of validation! ;;;w;;;

[hellyeahheroes]

Orphaned: How The New 10s Have FAILED Cassandra Cain

As we approach the end of “the New 10s”, how we came to call this decade (a term I will be using in the common usage, referring to all years with 201X number, not the proper one which ends with 2020), I took a look at one of the characters who I really feel got the short end of the stick through all of it  - Cassandra Cain.

There were some good things for the character in the decade. Writers like James Tynion IV, Bryan Edward Hill actually gave her as much respect as they could in given circumstances and she even made her first-ever appearance in animation. However, looking back I cannot say that it has been actually kind time for her . The bad just outweighs the good. I have isolated five reasons why I believe that to be the case.

1. The Erasure

This room is full of New 52 Cassandra Cain stories.

As always, everything boils down to New 52, the reboot that defined the New 10s for DC Comics. A reboot that asked us to assume Cassandra no longer exists and never existed, even if this did not mesh with the supposedly intact, just compressed, Batman continuity. The only writer who seems to have ignored it was Grant Morrison, whose Batman Inc. was caught by the reboot in the middle and seems to exist in a Schrödinger's relationship with two continuities - both part of the old and new DC Universe.

What is worse is that DC editorial has been silently stonewalling writers who wanted to use the character with vague excuses of her supposedly being toxic and little explanation beyond that. Scott Snyder was denied the use of her in Batman and had to create Harper Row as a replacement. Gail Simone’s pitch for a Batgirls book featuring Cassandra, Stephanie Brown and Barbara Gordon was rejected in favor of a solo Barbara book. In which both characters have been banned from appearing. The only exception was the Future’s Ends special, which was literally Simone’s final issue. It feels that this was done due to higher-ups' desire to push Barbara as the One True Batgirl. Which manifested in some of the editorial changes made to the book, like an artist being told, behind Simone’s back, to make a new villain look like Stephanie. Or Batman flat out calling Barbara “Only Good Batgirl” despite this making no sense in a continuity where she is literally the only one to ever use the name. The fact this ended up doing more harm than good to Barbara is a topic for another list like this altogether. The crux of it is, DC did their worst to make people forget Cassandra ever exists and alienate her fans for years, hoping to get rid of them entirely.  As the very existence of this article proves, their attempts were less than successful.

2. The Alienation

Once DC actually gave in and allowed Snyder to bring Cassandra back, other problems arose. The first one has come in the form of her new codename - Orphan. That name was supposed to allow her establishing her own identity instead of being defined by Bruce and Barbara. However, this argument seems dishonest when it is an identity previously used by her villainous father. The idea of Cassandra redeeming it has some merit, I admit. But this decision does send a message of her being defined solely by her abuser. It also serves to separate her from the rest of the Batfamily. Originally Cassandra has been portrayed as a member of the group and an adoptive sister to all of Bruce Wayne’s fellow sidekicks. Now it feels like her very name serves to single her out, an orphan among orphans.

This problem is not limited to the title. In general, Cassandra is now written as more isolated from the rest of the Batfamily, excluded from as many things as possible or having her role limited to nothing but a cameo. It has been 5 years and DC did as little as possible to reestablish her relationships with any people she was close with previously. In fact, with characters like Stephanie or Tim Drake, they seem to be betting on fans remembering their bonds from the previous continuity and act like they do not need to put in the work to rebuild them. Even if such measures have been taken for things like the reveal of her mother again. Her relationship with Barbara is as quickly cut as it was reestablished, without giving us anything but one or two scenes that work mostly as a reminder of what the two have lost from old continuity. She is not allowed to form new bonds with major characters either, her interactions with Jason Todd and Damian Wayne being kept to a bare minimum even more than before New 52. 

What’s worse is that new connections that she does form end quickly broken and undermined. After a big buildup of her friendship with Harper that girl gets completely written out of Batman comics altogether. Her relationships with Clayface and Batwoman were shattered with the former’s death. Not only that but DC seems entirely unwilling to follow on plot threads like this. It has been over a year by now since Kate was forced to kill Basil to save Cassandra’s life and not a single interaction between the characters seems to be allowed to ever bring that up, despite the effect it should have on both of them. I’ve gotten an impression they aren’t allowed to interact at all anymore, just stand awkwardly next to each other in group shots. Even Cassandra’s currently established bond with Duke Thomas feels constantly undermined by a looming threat he will end the story broken and turned into a villain. All of this sends a message that Cassandra is not a real part of the Batfamily, more a hired muscle than a real member of the group. 

Even the relationships with her villains have been taken away from her by simply erasing said villains. The same goes for many characters who once were her supporting cast, like Brenda or Onyx. Even her father had to be killed despite how many great scenes past writers could work out of confronting the two and exploring both how twisted his view of her is and what extent of the damage he has done to her. It gives an impression of outright spite, as if DC only agreed to bring her back at the cost of stripping her away from all interesting story threads.

3. The Jobbing

The less is said about Thomas Wayne vs Entire Batfamily, the better.

One of the problems with Cassandra’s portrayal is jobbing. For those who do not know, jobbing is a term in wrestling where a wrestler is made to lose a fight to put their opponent over with the audience. The bigger the reputation of a certified badass the jobber has, the more likely people are to buy the other guy as a genuine threat. A quote attributed to veteran wrestler Christian goes “If you can make the other guy look good you will always find a job, but you will have to do the job”.

Sadly, since her return, Cassandra has been reduced to a jobber. A character who is known as the best martial arts fighter in the Batfamily, if not in the DC Universe as a whole, is constantly made to lose to make someone else look good. In fact, between 2015 and 2019 the character had literally a single clean victory. By “clean” I mean a fair one on one fight. Every single one of her other victories was immediately being retconned as her opponent holding back (Dick Grayson) or undermined by her having the help of other characters (Lady Shiva, Azrael). Even the one opponent she was allowed to beat, Ismael, was a new character introduced just a few issues prior and his only show of skill to speak of was beating her in a previous fight. Meanwhile, she is constantly made to lose against opponents who have never been shown to possess skills or abilities that could make it believable, like Jason Todd, Helena Bertinelli or Karma. Thomas Wayne, a character whose use of guns was justified as compensation for his horrible hand-to-hand skills, is likely the worst example of them all. Cassandra is allowed to beat unnamed minions, be it Colony soldiers or League of Shadows ninjas. However, these do little to establish her as a force to be reckoned with she once was. After all, every single hero takes down hordes of minions constantly. Overall her status as a great fighter is at this point nothing more but an informed ability and DC has killed all credibility she once had.

There are painful and insulting implications that come along with Cassandra’s jobbing. This is because her skills as a martial artist have always been something she took great pride in and formed a lot of her self-esteem around. She finds comfort and relief from living with her disability in them. Her story is not one of a person “overcoming” their disability or have it nullified by superpowers that comic books are sadly full of. It is a story of a disabled person learning to live with their disability by finding solace in other skills she has and proving herself a true master despite said disability. By making her be beaten by everyone and their mother, DC turned that character arc into a cruel joke. Cassandra who is losing every fight is Cassandra that DC wants you to laugh at. Mock her for being delusional to think disabled people can be heroes and not just helpless victims. An ableist position very in line with a company that erased Barbara Gordon’s disability and history as Oracle, and to this day has editorial personally offended by the idea she could be anything but helpless in a wheelchair. As a result all Cassandra stories since her return just feel mean-spirited.

4. Shiva

Since Cassandra's return, the only two stories to focus on her have been about her mother, Lady Shiva. This has been a larger problem that has existed since Dan DiDio started meddling with the characters. We could see it in a classic story Destruction Daughter as well. There seems to be a desire on an editorial level to repeat and outdo the classic fan-favorite fight between them from Batgirl #25. Which is by many considered the best Cassandra story and the pinnacle of Kelley Puckett's run. But the editorial does not want to simply “top” that fight. They also want to somehow integrate it into a bigger story that ties Shiva with League of Assassins. I mean no disrespect to James Tynion or Bryan Hill or Anderson Gabrych, but none of them managed to truly make it work. The stories, while still well-written, seem to be inherently contrived. And I believe the future attempts will never truly work no matter who is writing them. The whole premise is nonsensical. Shiva that works with Ras Al’Ghul and his League is by definition out of character as the two have no aligning goals to speak of. There is nothing he can offer her and she doesn’t care for his goals. And the idea of sticking with him to fight challenging opponents is undermined by a fact she could get a good fight by simply slaughtering his entire organization. I started comparing this to Street Fighter to easily explain my issue with this. For Shiva to work with Ras makes as little sense as for Akuma to be M. Bison’s lackey.  DC is constantly trying to sell to us a story that does not work and then angrily try again when it is not hailed as better than Batgirl #25. It seems that Cassandra has become a means to an end in all of it. That she exists solely to get Shiva over as a minion to a bigger villain she has no good reason to follow in the first place.

This does nothing to make Cassandra less of a jobber either, as Shiva has been stuck in the same position for the entire decade herself and at this point is no more threatening than a Teletubby. Especially if the same stories that are supposed to reestablish Shiva as a threat are the stories where she fights her daughter. It feels like the two characters are trying to each regain their credibility by beating the other one because DC did such a good job of undermining them they wouldn’t be allowed to defeat anyone else.

While I want Shiva to be an antagonistic force in Cassandra’s life and she is a great villain, the way it is done does nothing for either character. Their complex relationship and clashing philosophies don't need to be violent or even physical at all to be compelling. It effectively squanders all potential the two have, seemingly for no other reason than to put Ras Al’Ghul over.

5. No Focus

Some of you may have caught on the prevailing theme of these points. Cassandra is no longer being written as a character in her own right. She is erased or pushed in the background to not overshadow Barbara. Her relationships are not being built upon and her plotlines are being dropped in favor of focusing on other characters. She is isolated from her new family and her membership is undermined even by her own codename. She keeps losing so that villains can look strong and cannot score a victory to not make someone “more important” look weak. She keeps being dragged into fights with Shiva to push Ras Al’Ghul as a bigger deal. She is constantly on team books that are always about other people first. 

This pattern speaks for itself. Despite an ever-increasing number of her fans and even writers who adore her, DC does not care about Cassandra Cain. This whole decade the company has shown the only role they see for her is someone used to push characters the editorial wants people to like instead. DC’s treatment of her betrays their arrogance, the belief the editors know better what the fans want than the fans themselves. Sadly it seems to have spilled onto other media as well. From what we know about her appearance in the upcoming Birds of Prey movie, Cassandra is the only character the creators did not care to get right, just somebody to make others look good. This is also why I am not holding my breath for her upcoming appearances in DCeased and Harley Quinn and the Birds of Prey books. At the end of the day these are still not her stories, just someone else’s books she was allowed to be in. Do not get me wrong, I hope we really get this “Cass Renaissance” the fandom is getting excited about. But outside of Shadow of the Batgirl, which will actually be a story about her, I do not trust DC to treat her as more than a glorified prop for other characters. If there is one thing I learned is that you can never expect good things from the Big 2. You can hope for the best and prepare for the worst. But they will very rarely offer you a surprise that is actually pleasant.

- Admin

[pastelbatfandoms]

Tarot Spreads for My OC Michelle,Jughead and FP. Will contain spoilers for My Mughead Fanfic! My OC’s Wiki page!

First Date Spread (Michelle and Jughead) #######3######### 4######2, (5 crosses)#6 #######1#########

1-What you want to happen on the date- 2 of pentacles, Clarifier Card Page of wands (For Jughead to pay for the date lol seems like her family is going through some financial difficulties,but isn't Jughead's? To be beneficial to each other,have creative,enthusiastic conversation,go with the flow for now and enjoy it) 2-what will happen on the date- Page of cups (Young love,Romance,maybe emotional and idealistic at this stage,definitely will be a romantic gesture by Jughead,literally a first date.) 3-The date itself- knight of pentacles R (Somewhere cheap,lack of finances again,deep conversations about self worth and were they want to go in life) 4-You in the environment of the date- king of wands ( Goal oriented,a bit materialistic but really just wants to get out of poverty or what she see's as,Independent,adventurous,spontaneous,direct and charismatic.) 5-Best you can hope for- king of pentacles (Success! As long as there's no unnecessary risks and they are patient. As friends they already have a Stable Foundation. ) 6-The outcome- king of swords ( Can lead with the heart not the head at times,Honest,intellectual communication,Michelle will have to deal with Jughead's more logical way of thinking and aversion to PDA,save for hand holding. As she herself is independant I think his own need for privacy and his quiet nature will be accepted. They can balance each other out.)

Further First Date spread (using both Haunted House Deck and Throne of Glass) 1--2 5--3 -6-4 -7-- -8--

1. Their impression of you.- 8 of  pentacles (Jughead) (Goal oriented,Successful,master of his trade (Writing),can go far if he shares his work to the public.strong and caring) 2. Your impression of them.- 4 of wands (Michelle) (Stable,Secure,"Aesthetically pleasing",protective,Wife material.) 3. What You will learn about them (on the date, in general, what they want in a relationship, what they want in a partner, or what they want from you).- Ace of wands R, Clarifier cards 5 of swords ,Knight of swords and Ace of swords .  (Lacks direction knows what he wants to do but not how to attain it,is frustrated and uninspired or might be frustrated and conflicted over his Sexuality. Wants to take his power back,maybe through the written word,might have to do with Reggie bullying him. He is intelligent,honest,Assertive,also might indicate his need to follow the Jason Blossom case he has all the information and wants to act quickly,he knows the truth and knows he has support. He's clear headed,see's both sides and is focused. Michelle and him think the same way.) 4. What you like about them.- 7 of pentacles (How hard working and ambitious yet nurturing he is.) 5. Will they like you?- The Devil (Honeymoon phase so yes. loves that she accepts him for who he is,but his attraction or love may turn into possessiveness if not careful.) 6. Will you be friends, enemies, or continue to see each other? King of wands (As long as they can live independently and not be clingy,and seeing as that's her personality I don't see an issue,I see a relationship,it may not be traditionally romantic or sexaul but it works for them,or at least Jughead,might be some issues sexaully for Michelle later on.) 7. Advice (like what to expect or just general advice for the first date to get a second date etc.)- Knight of wands R (Don't be rushing to the second date or into a relationship,let it come naturally,as their friendship did,do not be impulsive or irresponsible.) 8. Outcome of the whole situation (like if it'll be a positive or negative experience, learning experience, or it's all meant to be etc.)- 6 of swords  (Comfort,guidance,support,maybe take a trip together. Michelle will need to help Jughead with his Darkness and Jughead will need to help Michelle not be so Materialistic)

Separation / Reunion spread 1 2 _ _ 3 4 _ 5 _ _ 6 _ _ 7 _ _ 8 _ _ _ 9x10 _ _ (ten crosses 9) 13 14__11 12 ____ 15 ____

1-2: (read together) How he thought of them (during the separation)- Jughead // 4 of pentacles & queen of wands.  (at her worst-materialistic,selfish,clingy,kept a secret from him. At her best- Strong,Dynamic,powerful,Independant,fearless,vibrant,protective,fun and creative. (Art,Poetry) Where they differ is Jughead is more of an introvert and pessimist whereas Michelle is more extroverted & optimistic who enjoys the limelight like being a River Vixen.  Also take this as Jug being lonely and missing her. 3-4: (read together) How she thought of you- Michelle // The Moon and Knight of pentacles R  (At his worst- Moody,negative,jumps to conclusions,detached,financially insecure (there she goes with the material again) At his best- A Rebel,doesn't follow family tradition (yet),imaginative. But also take this as Michelle being depressed and in that mind set. ) 5: What he expects (from the reunion)- Knight of wands R ( to be more reckless,Fiery,he's not really thinking but acting on impulse,he misses her and dislikes change so he's going to do something about it,simple as that. ) 6: What they expect- 2 of swords R (Guarded at first but gives in and lets go of any hostility they had before,wishes they could run away together,forgiveness and understanding.) 7: What Jughead fears- 5 of cups (Loss,regret,guilt,change for the worse,the past repeating itself) 8: What Michelle fears- 7 of cups (being neglected,choices,wishful thinking,being honest with herself) 9/10: Crossroads: The reunion itself. the 10 crosses the 9.- The Star R & Justice (She will need to make amends with what she has done in the past (unknowingly or not) Jughead will be compassionate and understanding but only up to a point,he see's both sides of view once he is clear headed and Michelle has not placed all the blame on him.) 11-12: (read together) What you bring away.- 8 of wands & 3 of swords (They have come to a good place and conclusion both relationship wise and personally. But another change will warrant their attention and come in fast and swift,Jughead with his Fire sign in Aries will be swept up into the midst of it. (I'm thinking The Serpents & Ghoulies) Jughead is enthusiastic and feels energized by it,but also heartbreak and anger over possibly losing Michelle over it and his friends feeling betrayed. They will have to accept his new Serpent lifestyle or move on. ) (may also indicate love triangle) 13-14 (read together) What they bring away.- 5 of wands R  and The Hanged man R (Michelle was resistant to the change in lifestyle at first but it seemed for the better and only brought them closer,they have battled for each other quite literally,the all out war is now a truce and they have come to a compromise as long as they are open to change. If the opposite is true within their relationship,outside of The Serpents,they could find themselves at an impasse,which they could get over or selfishly not,if they hide things from one another,do not listen to one another or the outside influences then they will be stuck.) 15: The future of the relationship.- The Hermit (Clarifying cards) The Emperor,4 of swords,The Empress and 9 of wands.   (A time of self reflection and looking inward,a time to be alone with their thoughts WITHOUT outside influence or responsibilities. The Emperor signifies Jughead as The Serpent King and after much reflection he has matured to take his role seriously,may also represent his Dad FP Jones as the father figure and original Serpent king. Setting boundaries,thinking big,reaching his goals,claiming territory (quite literally in this case) does not apologize for who is,may come to a head in their relationship if in an argument he thinks he did nothing wrong,All that leadership and territory war may be too much for Jughead at some point and he will need to retreat to heal and recuperate for peace and quiet.        As The Empress (Serpent Queen) Michelle will be a solid and dependable presence in their lives going forward,she will also be very gentle in her approach and is now comfortable in her skin,the love still has it's fragile moments though and although it maybe marriage material,certain conflicts may arise or resurface and Michelle has become weary of fighting,as a Serpent she will fight every battle but should the same be expected of a relationship? Something she has hidden may show it's self or Michelle may come to a realization she never knew.)

 Chance Encounter (FP and Michelle) ....1....2 ........3 ........4 .....5....6 ........7

1-3 are about the encounter. 4-7 are about any future encounters and/or what the querent can get out of the situation. 1--What Michelle contributed to the encounter- The hanged man R (Acting Impulsively,wanting out of her rut,wanting to let go) 2--What FP contributed to the encounter- King of wands (Independence,similar personality traits,Spontaneity.) 3--The encounter itself; what happened, why was it important for Michelle? 2 of swords Decision Card 1 Knight of pentacles//pro and con cards= Ace of wands,Wheel of fortune R,9 of swords R,5 of pentacles R. Decision card 2 Seven of swords R// pros and cons=4 of cups R,Knight of cups R,King of pentacles R,Ace of pentacles. ( I mean we know what happened... And she did it out of impulse now she has to deal with the consequence and decide between two relationships (no She's NOT going to date a Father AND his son!) and even though she's in denial about it being FP,she must face her fears and make her choice. ) Path #1. Funny because I see FP as a Capricorn (Earth sign) with some Leo & Scorpio and Jughead as an Aries (With a bit of Scorpio/Taurus influence) Michelle is an Air sign but I don't think the Knight of Pentacles is about her as previously thought,but about Jughead wanting to protect and be there for his family (still loves his mother despite everything,fierce and protective over his Father,caring for his younger sister) He is becoming more Extroverted and action oriented,similar to Michelle. But in their relationship he still prefers to not be as spontaneous,which Michelle may get bored with. Though if not Jughead does promise her stability,love and loyalty,he is also fiercely protective of what is his on the verge of possessive. Which along with the lack of loyalty (romantically) on her side,might prove to be a challenge. Pro's-Strength,passion,reaching their goals,will get there career wise,love loyalty,protective Con's- something missing,Possessiveness,delays,their careers may have taken off (as adults) but is not the outcome they were looking for,their relationship may be at a standstill because of this or they never took off in the first place. It could also be here that Jughead finds out about Michelle and FP leading to depression,hopelessness,guilt and shame (especially intensified for Michelle as a Libra) and a falling out with Jughead. Pro's- I survived. May lead to a reconciliation down the road,which may be letting FP down or the opposite. Her estrangement from family and friends will improve,as well as money. Path #2. Sneaking around with FP,someone Devious,Cunning and without care finds out and blackmails them (PENNY PEABODY!) Eventually Jughead does find out (via gossip),there's remorse on their side but no care or sympathy from Jughead or their friends (att) as trust has been blown away leaving Jughead feeling like he's been stolen from. Pro's- After a period of self reflection Michelle comes to the conclusion that (despite breaking up with Jughead again) she does not need to keep going back,maybe it's time to find someone or something new. The time for heartbreak,loss and regret are over and she is coming back refocused and re energized. maybe giving FP a real chance. Con's- Flirting,one night stands,sex/alcohol abuse,Emotional turmoil,lust,cheating,deception,long healing process. The King of Pentacles R feels like it's aimed at FP in the stages of his life when he was drinking,financially lost (causing him to do some shady stuff) and not taking care of his family,if he can't care for himself how can he love anyone else? Pro's-This too shall pass and the Financial stability will get better,The family life is getting better and Michelle is even saving up for college. Her newly reformed relationship with FP is solid and secure and they can definitely rely on each other. 4--Will Michelle see FP again? 10 of wands (Whether she wants to or not!) 5--How Michelle can act now in regards to this encounter- 8 of wands (Active,go for it,fast paced) 6--What Michelle can learn from this encounter- Temperance (How to temper herself,slow down,to wait and let it come to her,this card is also a soulmate or reuniting card. ) 7--Outcome (of meeting again and/or of having the encounter in general)- Strength (They will meet again if they don't run and have the strength to deal with what comes their way,they are generally very close.)

Chemistry Spread Layout: ****5**** ****4**** *2**1**3*

1. Is there sexual chemistry between us? 6 of pentacles 2. Would I enjoy it? Page of cups 3. Would he enjoy it? 5 of pentacles R 4. What would our sex be like? 9 of pentacles R 5. Will we end up having sex? Wheel of Fortune R

Sex Spread  (Michelle and FP Jones) 1***3***5 2***4***6 **7**8** ***9***

1. Your natural sexual nature (how you approach sex/sexual acts.)- Wheel of Fortune R (At a stand still,trying to avoid it or repress it,probably for Juhead's sake,but it does what it wants and she can't really control her nature. ) 2. Your partner's natural sexual nature (how they approach sex/sexual acts.)- 9 of swords R (Surprisingly he feels guilty or depressed over it,maybe he cheated on his ex wife or maybe it's because of how Jughead feels)

NOTE: These two cards describe BOTH attitudes AND behaviors.

3. What you need in a sexual partner (to be sexually fulfilled.)- 4 of pentacles (Possessive,only them,Private,Dominant,Knows what he's doing and how to do it,confident.) 4. What they need in a sexual partner (to be sexually fulfilled.)- Queen of wands (Proud,Fiery,vital,free,magnetic,Sexy,dominant) 5. What you will be able to give them sexually.- The Empress (NEED I SAY MORE?! Look her up,like The High Priestess but more committed) 6. What they will be able to give you sexually.- The Moon (Mystery,intrigue,Lust,probably sneaking away together in the dead of night.)

NOTE: 5 and 6 are needs you/you're partner will be able to fulfill for one another.

7. What will the sex generally be like between you? (Description.)- 8 of pentacles (Heady,Exciting,fast,fun) 8. Will it be good or bad sex? The Devil R (Alluring but will start to feel trapped or guilty over time,this may indicate their first break up.)

NOTE: There's a difference between these two questions. You could pull the 2 of Swords for Slot 7 and get the Sun for slot 8.

9. Advice on how to make sex fulfilling for both partners. (General advice on how to reconcile both sexual natures successfully/in a way where both are happy and satisfied.)- Death (Keep it Intense,maybe it's better in secret,but they'll be inevitably discovered.Accept the new changes without shame or guilt.)

Michelle during any relationship reading lol

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #228

“blood on her skin, dripping with sin, do it again, living dead girl.”

How many sugars do you like in your tea? Man, I find A LOT of tea or coffee questions in surveys. Anyone who reads these knows by now I hate tea. Ever heard of a band called The Dresden Dolls? I fucking love "The Gardner," but it's the only song I know. What was the last movie you saw that made you laugh out loud? Idk, I watch movies so rarely. Who’s your favorite superhero? Deadpool, if you count him (technically an anti-hero, I kno). Otherwise, I don't really know. Possibly Spider-Man. What does your regular attire consist of? Pajama pants and tank tops lmaoooo. Popsicles or Ice cream? Ice cream. Are you good at solving math problems in your head? It's almost impossible for me to. Even simple addition. What kind of M&Ms do you like best? Normal chocolate ones. What is the last thing you tried on in a store? Uhhhh I think formal shirts when I was actually working on getting a job... Are you comfortable enough around your friends to change in front of them? No. Does your best friend wear makeup? No. Have you ever dated someone in secret? No. How do you get splinters out? Tweezers. Do you ever send people good morning texts? Sara sometimes. Is there someone who makes you blush when you just say hi to them? No. Do you kiss your pets? Of course. Why did you go to church the last time you went? My then-friend was having a serious "reborn" and devout Christian phase. Who’s the richest person you know? I don't know. How old is the oldest person you know? I also don't know. 90-something. Who's the last person who asked your name? My math professor needed a refresher when handing out test results. Have you ever been so drunk you couldn’t even talk right? No. Do you know anyone with a million middle names? I know someone with three or four. Do online dating sites ever work? For some people. When you were a teenager, did your parents set rules about dating? No. Have you ever lived with a person who you tried to avoid at all costs? No. Have you ever committed a crime that directly harmed another person? No. Did you grow up in an urban, suburban, or rural area? I guess suburban/rural mix? Which disease do you personally think is the most horrible? Alzheimer's. What is your worst childhood memory? I mean it depends on what stage of childhood, but I'm going to assume you mean like, pre-pre-teen years. In that case, just my parents fighting. Do you remember where you first drove to after getting your license? N/A What did you get into trouble for the most when you were a kid? Fighting with my little sister, probably. What is your biological sex? Female. What is the oldest gaming console you own? A GameBoy Advance. Of all the houses you’ve lived in, which has been your favorite? If you excuse the bad memories, my previous one. Do you get sunburnt easily? Oh yeah. What’s the color of your front door? White. Your favorite ice cream flavor: It alternates between just plain chocolate and vanilla. How many people have you been really in love with? Twice. Your favorite song at the moment: "Necessary Evil" by Motionless In White feat. Jonathan Davis. What’s most important for you? My well-being. Do you snore? No. What are you looking forward to right now? Mark's next big project comes out October 30th and I can't physically wait, but after that, all I care about is December getting here so I can go up to Sara's. What’s the earliest you’ve ever had to wake up for work? N/A Do you use reusable shopping bags to reduce waste? No, but I wish... I don't do the shopping in my house, so it's not really my decision. How many times have you moved? Three times *really*, but you could kinda say four when Jason, me, and our two friends/another couple moved into an apartment together; my name was in no way involved as being an official resident, but it eventually came to a point where I was there every day and night for quite a while. Do you know anyone who has changed their first name? Yes. Do you know anyone who has been on life support, and survived? No. Do your parents have a strong relationship together? HA HA fuck no. They've been divorced since I was like 16. Have you ever read any of Charles Darwin’s works? No. Do you think there are more dimensions than what we’re able to perceive? I lean towards no, but it's possible, sure. Does anyone in your family have schizophrenia? Yes. Do any of your neighbors have loud children? No. Who would you say is your hero? Mark, my mom, Sara. You can only shop at one store for the rest of your life where would it be? If you're talking about in order to buy everything, from food to clothes, I'd have to say Walmart. Do you text type or do you type out all your words? Mostly the latter, but I'll use "lol," "otw," stuff like that sometimes. Have you ever given money to a homeless person? No. I'mma be real honest, I don't think I ever would. I just DO NOT trust people. It's fact that the money is usually used for alcohol and drugs, and I've seen news of more than enough posing assholes. Who are you living with? My mom and pets. What are your opinions on colored contacts? Cool as fuck, wish I could wear them. Are you comfortable with your body? Fuck no. What is one thing in your life that is no longer there, that you miss? A social life. What do you believe is the best thing about being a kid? No responsibilities. Life is just simpler. Last time you had a s'more? Shortly after Sara left when she visited. We had leftover stuff so Mom and I made a few. Do you like peppermint candy? Yeah. Do you like spearmint or peppermint gum better? Peppermint, I think. Do you prefer fruity flavors over minty ones? Yes. Do you have a little Pink brand dog from Victoria’s Secret? No. What is the last thing you blew? Idr, I'm sure some kind of food. What’s the last gift you received? Sara got me a mug with a super relevant Markiplier quote sobs- What did your parents do today? I don't live with my dad so idk, but I know my mom's at work. What is the symbol for your type of computer? It's just the brand name. Do the clothes you’re wearing have any type of symbol on them now? Skulls. Do you like peas? NO. Where is your favorite place to be massaged? I wouldn't know, but probably my shoulders? Do you like composition books, or spiral notebooks? Spiral notebooks. The person you like, what color eyes do they have? Brown. So what is your favorite physical feature about that person? She has a freckle on her hip that is so fucking cute. What kind of four wheeler do you have? I don't have and never have had one. Do you live where there are a lot of cows? Sure, I guess. What is your favorite animal with spots? Probably snow leopards. Give me your opinion on sports. I don't have a problem with them (save for like, boxing and ones that can seriously harm people), but I'm not into them. Why do you play the sports you do? N/A Do you actually care about your school work and what grades you make? Yes I care. Do you have a typical family, or a weird one? Honestly a pretty broken one. Do you have a favorite letter? Probably "z," particularly in cursive. From the room you're in can you hear a door shut when someone arrives there? Sometimes. What states have you been to in the past year? Just NC and Illinois. Well, I obviously flew over other states, but I've only stayed in those two. Have you ever sleepwalked? I have not. Do you want children? Why/why not? "Hell no. I don’t like kids and I don’t want the rest of my life to be centred around one." <<< That's a great description for myself as well. I know I would be a fucking awful mother, too. Not as in I'd be mean to my child, absolutely not, it's just I barely manage to take care of myself a lot of the time. I'm not emotionally fit for that job and the stress it entails, at all. And yeah, being willing to make someone else my world is something I'm never doing again. I want my attention to stay on myself, my spouse, and pets. Do you have any credit card debt? Hi, I'm 23 and don't own and never have owned a credit card. Who do you go to for relationship advice? Honestly, I don't. I look within myself for those answers, really. I think I'm pretty intelligent and aware of how to maintain a healthy relationship. There's been times I've talked to my mother about things, but yeah, she's not the greatest to talk about all that with. What was your favorite way to spend a summer day as a kid? Swimming. Have you ever been scammed? Not successfully. I think. Did you ever take a personal finance class in school? None were offered at my high school. I don't know if they are now at my college, though, but I don't think so. They need to be, and mandatory. I don't have the slightest goddamn clue how to handle money. How’s your mental health? Are you feeling well? I'm going through a rough patch right now. School is stressing me. Not having a job and struggling with money to the extreme is about to make my hair fall out. Do you struggle with acne? Not anymore. Did you have a Xanga page back in the pre-Myspace days? I've never had a Xanga. Around what year did you start using the internet, anyways? I was like, 9-10? Maybe even earlier with Webkinz and Neopets, idr. I know I started RP in 2005, and that's when I was very actively online. Do you have any uncommon interests or hobbies? A few. Forum RP is definitely the "weirdest," hence why I hide it publicly. Then there's photographing roadkill. The LOOKS Mom tells me I get when I'm on the ground next to a dead animal, lol. I've had questions, stares, and cars turn around aplenty to make sure I'm okay. I'm really self-conscious about doing it, but I really love doing it for the purpose of forcing eyes onto just how brutal roadkill can be because of us, and the validating comments I've gotten about it online pushes me to keep going with it. Well, that and of course just sincerely enjoying it. That being said, I like gore - in moderation, and some kinds are just off-limits without me getting grossed out. "Vulture culture" (the use of naturally deceased animals in some form of artwork) is also something I am very very interested in. Wet specimens of anything are cool as all fuck. There's a load of unconventional things I enjoy. What temperature do you keep your thermostat set at in the winter? Uhhhh idk, 70-something. Have you ever fostered an animal? No, but I am 110% fostering opossums once I get my own place and am authorized and properly equipped to do so. What is something you thought you’d never like, but you enjoy now? Hm. OH, ketchup. I hated that shit as a kid. Did your parents ever not let you watch any television shows as a child? Yeah, but none in exact come to mind. Basically like, MTV and stuff like that was a big no. How old were you when you had your first kiss? Who was this kiss with? I just turned 16. It was with Jason, my first "real" boyfriend. Have you ever betrayed one of your parents in any way at all? Doing what? I don't think so. What are your favorite stores to go to when you visit the mall? Hot Topic and Spencer's is like all I care about that we have available near here. Has anyone ever told you they don't like the way you run your life? Ohhhhhhhhhh, I wasn't the only one who experienced that with her. At all. Does it bother you when you comment someone’s pictures and they don't even comment you saying ‘thank you’ or comment one of your pictures? I find it rude if they in no way acknowledge a compliment, yes, but you don't have to say thanks. Just like, like/hearting the comment (I'm using Facebook as my platform here) says enough to me that you're appreciative. Now for the second half of the question, that's stupid. I don't care if someone doesn't comment on a picture. Or anything. When was the last time you had a shot? Are you behind on those right now? I had a few numbing shots into my gums when I had a cavity filled early this month/late last month since my tongue ring finally caused one. I'm not behind on any required ones. Have you ever had a really rare disease, virus, or illness? Really rare, I don't think so? When was the last time you just, genuinely went somewhere with friends? Been a looooooong time, idk. Probably not since I was still friends with Colleen. Would you consider yourself a hygiene freak, or do you not care much? Neither of those fit me. Though I'm more likely to neglect myself out of the two. It depends on how I'm doing. That hasn't entirely healed since recovery. Are you old enough to live by yourself or are you just mature enough? I'm definitely old enough, just not independent or healthy enough, or financially capable. What is one thing you stopped doing just because everyone else stopped? I've never moved with fads. Have you ever been considered the freak of your class at any time in life? "Freak" seems a bit strong of a word, but "the weird kid," probably. Have you ever been to a Sea World before? Which one in which state? As a kid, yes, in Florida. I wouldn't now as an adult; I do not even remotely support their captivity of whales. I don't know all the facts behind their business so can't speak for all the animals, and I am not against all animal captivity so long it is providing and with good purpose (conservation, education, etc.), but nothing will make me pay to support the incredibly incompetent housing and mistreatment of whales. Do you believe in any kind of magic? Is it the stereotypical kind? *shrugs* I mean I dunno, define "magic," I guess. I personally believe some form of greater intelligence created the universe, and I suppose that's "magic." The person I copied this from brought up a great point, too: Science itself can seem pretty magical, so where do you even draw the line? Ex., the evolution of caterpillar to butterfly. That shit's fuckin' wild. A living thing melts to mush and is reformed in an entirely and completely new body. With wings, dude. There are truly a lot of natural things that occur in our world that make that line we've created blurry. Are you currently working on any kind of project at this moment in time? An argumentative essay on climate change in College Writing, if you call that a "project." I haven't started writing truly in-depth yet and may switch my focus to arranged marriages (seems random, yeah, but they're from a set list of options relevant to the book we read), only because I get fucking heated talking about climate change, and our professor made a point of not "preaching," and I also have to be capable of writing a paragraph of concession, that being an acknowledgment of the opposing point and considering its views, but. I don't think I could give climate change deniers' mindset even a sliver of genuine thought. As absolutely awful and appalling as they are, at least I can see a reason (a terrible one, but you get me) like hastening procreation in arranged marriages. Okay wow rambling ANYWAY yeah, in the starting stages of writing an essay. Which do you do more: read books, spent time online, or watch television? I'm like... always online, so yeah. What do you do the most when you’re online? Listen to/watch YouTube. Which foot is bigger, your left or your right? I don't know, I've never noticed. Do you think you’re too old to go trick-or-treating? Personally I believe anyone should be able to, but by society's standards, I am. Do you have a bobblehead? No. Have you ever had a themed b-day party? As a kid, yeah. Were you afraid of heights as a child? Nope. Do you think it’s stupid when you’re dying to have someone pray that you don’t feel afraid? (I would want them to pray that I live, personally) No? I don't believe that there's power in prayer period, but it's kind, realistic, and encouraging to hope they stay unafraid. Death is natural and happens to every single living thing, so truly, we shouldn't fear death all too much. What’s the strangest thing you’ve wrapped a present in? Uh nothing? Do you enjoy and appreciate life? Or is this something you need to learn? I appreciate it very much, but I do need to learn to enjoy it more. Have you ever made a pom-pom out of yarn? No. Have you ever had a lead role in a play? N- oh wait, in Sunday school as a young child, I was Mary in one. I don't remember HOW large the role was, but I would assume it was relatively big. Do you know how to use iMovie? I've never really tried it. I could probably figure it out pretty quickly, though. Would you raise your kids differently than your parents raised you? In some ways. For one, I would fucking not spank them. What was the best part about college? I most enjoy the flexibility of my schedule. It's not a 7-hour or whatever day every weekday. If you were homeschooled, did you come up with a school mascot? If so, what? N/A How many times a day do you check your cell to see if you have a text? Whenever it vibrates. Ever wonder if the person you hate will become the person you marry? *Hated but lmao that might just happen. If you could live in three places, a year each, where would they be? Germany, California, and maybe Canada. Your choice of transportation for anything: camel, jet pack or carriage? Carriage, probably. Think of a movie and now give me that movie title: The last person said Titanic so now I'm thinking romances, so The Notebook. Quote a line from that movie: "Tell me I'm a bird." "If you're a bird, I'm a bird." I wanted that as a tattoo with my spouse one day once upon a time. Aw! A line from your wedding vows is now: I want to recite the Corpse Bride vows with my partner. I don't feel like looking them up rn. Name a song: "God's Gonna Cut You Down" by Marilyn Manson, 'cuz that's what I'm listening to. What’s a line from that song? "Sure as God made black and white, what's done in the dark will be brought to the light." Name your two favorite characters from a TV show or movie: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. Lust and Envy, probably. When was the last time you fell asleep in a car? I dunno. How often do you think about death? Not too often? Do you believe what comes around goes around? Not always, but cause and effect makes it so sometimes. What about everything happens for a reason? NOPE. Can you sing? Not well. What kinds of little advertisements are on this page right now? None rn. Has something really heavy ever fallen on you? I don't believe so. Do you have any freckles on your feet? No. If you wear makeup, what colors do you usually wear? Black, when I do. I barely ever wear makeup, though. If you have more than one pet, do they ever get jealous of each other? BENTLEY DOES, particularly with guests (once he trusts them, anyway). If Teddy is getting attention, odds are he's gonna come on over and stick his nose in it. Do you have any brightly colored pants? No. Is there a room in your house that you don’t like going in? The laundry room. It's either hot or cold as fuck, depending on the season. Can you solve a Rubik’s Cube? No. I'm not good at planning future steps. Do you remember the last question you were asked? What did you answer? Well, besides the last survey question, I really don't. Besides salt and butter, do you put anything on your popcorn? No.

[sassycassie-s-writing]

Dating Drama - Part 3: The Fight

By: SassyShoulderAngel319

Fandom/Character(s): DC, BatFam, SuperFam - Jason Todd/Red Hood, Conner Kent/Superboy

Rating: PG-11 (for a big verbal fight)

Original Idea: Part 2 got too long so I made it a Part 3, and @batboys-and-other-messes had a lot to say that helped me make this! HUGE shoutout to her for helping so much, and even writing several lines of dialogue that kept the fight going!

Notes: (Masterlist)(By Character)(About Me) I’m so sorry Jason for hurting you like this I’ll make it up to you soon I promise. This one has a shouting argument so read with caution if you don’t like verbal fights. Side note: I legit actually teared up a little while writing this. @welovegroot

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

^^^^^

“Conner? Seriously? Conner?” Jason demanded. I rolled my eyes. “You barely wake up to someone else’s hand on your face and your first instinct is it’s that abomination and not your f*%$ing soulmate?”

“Jay, chill,” I snapped. “And don’t call him an abomination.”

“That’s what Kon means, doesn’t it? In Kryptonian?” Jason retorted.

I sighed. “Yes, but he’s a good man.” I pushed some of my hair out of my face while Jason fumed. “Bear in mind, Jay, that in total, you and I have been together for all of one year—including before you died. Conner and I were together for three-and-a-half. He was always the one holding on to me when I woke up from illnesses or getting knocked unconscious. It’s a force of habit.”

That didn’t seem to calm him down any. I rubbed my temples but didn’t bother to continue defending my actions. I’d made my point.

“It’s not just that, Starbeam,” he said, ready to explode any moment. “It’s… everything!” He gestured wildly with his hands.

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think I don’t see the way you look at him? I know that you still love him, but do you even try to change that? Do you even try to hide it?”

“What do you want me to do?! Pretend that those last three-and-a-half years never happened?!”

“Of course not. I just want you to love me the way you used to!”

“We were teenagers, Jason! Were we even in love?”

He took a step back as though I’d slapped him. There was hurt in his eyes.

I backtracked. “Sorry. That was taking it a little far. It’s just… you grow up and look back and wonder if it was true or just hormones,” I said. “I know we’re soulmates, Jason. I can see the thread between us. Tying me to you and you to me.”

“Then why don’t you act like it?” Jason snapped.

Okay, ouch. It was my turn to take a step away from him. “Explain,” I said, being sharp to hide the pain.

“Your affection is forced—like you’re doing it out of obligation rather than actual affection. You think I can’t feel how hesitant you are when you kiss me? How you try not to flinch away from me every time I touch you?”

“I’m not used to you anymore, Jay! Your touch is different from Conner’s! You just feel different and it takes me a moment to remember it’s you!”

“How is mine different?”

“Conner’s always really gentle because of his super strength. He’s afraid he’s going to crush me so he’s extra careful not to!”

“Are you saying I’m not gentle with you?”

“I’m saying you’re not overly gentle,” I said, trying really hard to balance on the line between honesty and not hurting his feelings any more than I already had. “You know your own strength. You know that no matter how hard you hug me you’re not going to break my spine. Conner doesn’t. He barely touches me at first. It’s like I’m feeling a ghost on my shoulders until he adds a little extra pressure. You just sling your arm around me and I’m not used to that feeling.”

“So, you want me to do that?” Jason asked sharply.

“I want you to show affection how you show affection,” I said.

Jason paused. “And how do you show affection? It’s been so long since you initiated anything that I don’t remember.”

“Don’t do that,” I warned, fighting to keep my eyes from watering. “I’m trying, Jason.”

“Trying to do what? To fall in love with me again?” he snarled.

“Yes. And I already feel like I am, but part of me will always be Conner’s.”

Jason closed the distance between us and grabbed my upper arms. I stiffened, freaked for a moment that he’d hurt me. “That’s the problem! It’s not supposed to be like this! It’s supposed to be just you and me!” His voice was a low, almost guttural growl of anger.

“I’m not the one who upped and left for Qurac without telling anyone!” I snapped, shoving his arms off of me. “I’m not the one who got himself killed!”

“Don’t. You. Dare,” Jason snarled. “I got murdered and you’re blaming me?!”

“No, but you didn’t even tell me you were leaving! Bruce I can understand. But me? I felt you die, Jason! When the string between us burned black it actually burned. Woke me up from a dead sleep! I cried myself to sleep after your funeral!”

“How long after I died did you start dating that clone? Hmm? Bruce replaced me. You replaced me. The one person I thought wouldn’t—”

“What did you expect me to do? Stay hung up on you forever? Or move on and find another chance at happiness?!” I interrupted.

“I would have hoped that you would have waited a little longer to play the rebound game.”

“YOU STAYED AWAY FOR THREE YEARS!” I shouted.

“I HAD NO MEMORY FOR MOST OF THOSE! I WAS IN A COMA FOR ONE OF THEM!” Jason yelled.

“Hey Jay? Bruce was wondering—never mind,” Tim said, entering the room, turning pink, and immediately leaving.

“You know what?” I snapped the second Tim shut the door behind him. “You should be grateful to Conner. If not for him, you’d still be dead!”

“AND THEN WE’D ALL BE HAPPY!” Jason exploded. “I’d be dead and you’d still be with your precious Superboy! Maybe you’d even be married by now!”

My heart cramped. I elected not to tell Jason that the conversation of marriage had been touched on when Kon and I were together. I just felt like we were too young and I wasn’t ready just yet, back then. And not long after, before the subject could come up again, Jason returned to Gotham.

“I came back but… you’re still gone.”

“Jay…”

“Don’t,” he snapped, but it was a quiet snap—which was almost worse. “I know you don’t love me as much as I love you. I know you love that abomination more than you love me.” He snorted out his nose and looked to the ceiling, trying to hide that his eyes were watering. “Dying took everything away from me. Including YOU!”

“Well it’s your fault!” I spat, knowing I was crossing the line but so far past angry that I couldn’t even rein it in. Jason’s death wasn’t his fault—it was the Joker’s—but I couldn’t claim to be thinking clearly. “You left without telling me you were leaving—you left without saying goodbye! You put me in this situation! You put us in this situation because you didn’t want anyone to know where you’d gone! You died! And I was heartbroken! Conner was there for me when you left me! Why do you think I ran so quickly to him? I was lost and alone confused and devastated and looking for comfort—and there he was, offering comfort and compassion and company and solace to me freely.”

Tears spilled out of Jason’s eyes, prompting me to rub my own—and realize my cheeks were wet too. I wasn’t sure when mine had fallen, but it was recent enough that they hadn’t dried.

Jason glared at me. His eyes, piercing blue and flashing with the gunmetal tint of violence and darkness they’d always had, bored right into my soul. There was also a plea in them, though. Begging me not to say the words that were bubbling in my brain like an unwatched pot of water on a stove turned up too high.

But I was on a roll now.

“And that’s not even the worst part,” I continued.

“No?” he challenged, an angry set to his eyebrows. “What can possibly be worse than losing your soulmate?”

“The reason you’re losing me now,” I answered. “You lose something when you die. Your mind. Your soul. Something. You came back to this world different from when you left it, Jason. And the worst part is I’m furious with myself that I can’t force myself to love you!”

Jason didn’t just take a step back away from me. He stumbled backwards until his back hit the wall like his legs could no longer support him and I’d shoved him in the chest. But I hadn’t touched him. Another pair of tears slid down his face and splashed on his jacket, dripping down the leather with ease.

The gold string tying us together flared with a fiery flash and died down. Usually when we were in the same room it shone with a pleasant luster, but now it was the dullest, almost rusty gold I had ever seen it.

Jason recovered quickly, replacing whatever he felt at my words with more anger. “Fine then! Don’t love me! Don’t even be in the same room as me if you’re just going to pine for him every second you’re with me!” he spat bitterly.

^^^^^

Conner winced and nearly fell out of the sky, listening in to Starbeam’s fight with Red Hood from three miles away, his heart breaking for her with every word they threw at each other like the knives and shuriken that they both kept in their personal armories. He knew he shouldn’t have been listening, but he was. He’d heard Jason say his name and tuned in—just to make sure Jason wouldn’t hurt Starbeam, Conner promised. Her heart rate had spiked at one point, and it had taken all of his self-control not to go bursting in and taking her away.

When her voice shook with the tears that fell down her face, Conner found himself fighting back his own tears. They were from several strong emotions churning in his head. Empathy. Sorrow. Worry. But most of all, surprise. She… didn’t love Jason? Really? She… still loved… him?

He shook his head to knock the thoughts out of it and swept his bangs out of his eyes. That wasn’t important right now. She was hurting and everything else had to wait.

He couldn’t bring himself to leave just yet—though he should have left hours ago once he knew Starbeam wasn’t going to die of the infection she’d contracted.

^^^^^

I took a step back with one leg, just so I wouldn’t fall over as my balance swayed. “What are you saying, Jason?”

“I’m saying I’m not going to force you to be my girlfriend. Our souls may be tied together but your heart is elsewhere. You and me? We’re done. Unless you sort yourself out. I love you. You’ll always be my lucky star. But I love you enough to let you go.”

Before I could say anything, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him with a frightening sense of finality and yelling for Tim to ask what Bruce wanted.

I stood, rooted to the spot and frozen, eyes wide with surprise and tear tracks down my face. My soulmate just broke up with me. Was that even allowed? My eyebrows scrunched together, and I stared at the shut door.

Everything was just falling apart at the seams. Why had I taken that mission with Kon instead of letting Tim take it? Why did I think I could handle it without everything I knew and counted on crumbling around me? I knew I wasn’t over Conner yet and I did it anyway. What kind of idiot was I?

I bent forward, closing my hands over my face and breaking down in tears. I let myself sob for a few moments before looking around. Wayne Manor was full of all sorts of memories—most of them benign but several of them painful. I couldn’t be here right now. I had to get out.

I ran to the bedroom that had always been mine. My clothes were in the drawers and my backpack was on the bed.

I threw what I needed into the bag and bolted out the front door. My pack was thrown carelessly into the back seat before I got into the driver’s seat and tore off down the long drive. I had no idea where I was going. The only word in my mind was away.

Next

[jaybeartodd]

Colleagues Pt. 3/17 — Jason Todd x fem. reader

Y/N is struggling with this newly found information but decides to push it aside while things are going well. And maybe this Jason character isn’t as awful as he initially seemed...

Sorry this is so long! I was planning on making this two parts but I forgot to stop typing. Whoops. Anyways, I hope you guys enjoy and thank you for the amazing feedback! You guys have been fantastic!

Warnings: swearing and mentions of alcohol

Word Count: 1974

Tagging: @sarcasmismyfirstlove 

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14 Part 15 Part 16 Part 17

It is sheer will and your hand supporting your chin that is at least keeping up the appearance of vitality as your professor lectures at the head of the classroom. After a quick digestion of the information discovered last night, you managed to hammer out a killer essay and get a whole 3 hours of sleep before having to wake up for your morning class. 

You are trying to focus on what the professor is saying by watching their mouth but all you can hear is the conversation between you and Nick.

It was after a long shift at your old job that you came home to Nick using the kitchen for actual cooking purposes. Throwing your bag down you eyed him wearily as he gave you happy smile from behind a steaming stove.

"Hey sis! I got us a real meal; steak and mashed potatoes.” 

You can't help but laugh at the absurdity of his appearance. He has his long purple hair tied up in a bun and your Batman apron tied around his body. 

“What did I tell you about buying that disgusting meat at the butcher down the road?” you ask leaning over the sizzling pan cautiously expecting the worst. 

“No sis. This is real steak from a real store,” his dimples flash seemingly innocent and the steak does look halfway decent. If you even liked steak.

“Nick,” you sigh grabbing at a headache forming from the thought of him getting into your cash again.  

“No, Y/N, look I swear it was all my own money. I didn't take a cent from your jar in the dresser. Cross my heart,” he gestures to his heart. Mental note; move jar. 

You let out a breath and look into his brown eyes full of pride. You see the little brother who would do this silly promise ritual years ago when hiding in your self-made fortresses. Before he lost his way. 

Finally giving in, you cross your heart in sync with him and he laughs kissing you on the cheek. After finishing up the cooking, you manage to have a decent dinner with him even if you push around the steak so he won't notice you not eating it. 

It is one of the best moments you have had with Nick since you had to move in with him after several of his stints in jail. But you can't help the question burning in the back of your head. 

“Where'd you get the money, Nickie?” you ask somberly. Instead of the guilt you are expecting you see his face beam.

“I got a job,” your eyes widen at this. The boy who hasn't held a job in years can suddenly afford steak with work he has never even mentioned applying for. 

“No really! I got a delivery job! It is with a Mr. Sionis and it makes enough money that you can stop worrying about me and start focusing on paying your school and I can finally start supporting Trey.”

You can't help but absorb the pure joy emanating from him. You hug him and enjoy the moment even though you know he could make all the money in the world but the mother of his child would never let him have anymore than the every other weekends he is getting. Not that you can blame her. She has a big house, nice husband and great career. Trey is a cute kid and deserves the best life possible, Even though you miss him dearly and you know it crushes Nick. 

This memory still rings fresh in your head as one of the better ones even though Nick went straight back to his binging within one week of work leaving you to pick up the essentials. At least he has somehow held the job and pays for his own alcohol now. You aren't blind to the effect the job has had on your brother and now your curiosity grows knowing who his boss is and even more now that Mr. Wayne seems interested in the guy despite him supposedly being in Arkham. 

You show up to your desk that night to find an invitation laying on it. Looking around you don't see anything out of the ordinary. Although, did you expect to see someone gazing above their respective cubicle laughing at a rather lame prank?

The Wayne logo is painted across the front of it and you open it to see an elegant flourish of details of a ball. It seems you are cordially invited to the annual Wayne Enterprise Ball. You can't help but feel a grin spread across your face. How very posh. You chuckle to yourself but you know you are excited at the chance of attending the most prized Gotham event.

You probably will not be the most lavish of the attendees considering your limited store options that pair nicely with your limited cash flow but hell you will feel damn beautiful. You clutch the invitation close to you before putting it into your bag unaware of the amused pair of eyes watching your reaction. 

“Jason, your attention would be appreciated.”

Jason sighs and pushes himself off the window he was observing you from. 

“Yeah yeah Bruce. You've got the fullest of my attention.”

The next two weeks go by fairly quickly, You managed to make it to break from school with only a couple of sleepless nights preparing for midterms. Nick hasn't had another binge since the night you found out the interesting tidbit about his new job. Troy had a great visit where we attempted to bake ending in a floury mess. All of this, plus your growing excitement for the ball tonight, has caused you to push the Sionis incident from your head for now. You really didn’t want to rock the boat while it was wading steadily for once.

Your rose red dress from a nearby thrift store illuminates your carefully illustrated makeup and your y/h/c piled on top of your head once you are ready to head to the ball. You lock the door behind you and can’t help but feel giddy.

Not only are you being handed the perfect opportunity to make fun of ridiculous people in one setting but you are being handed the perfect opportunity of meeting local newspaper hotshots who could be your road into journalism. 

Your heels from a lifetime ago that you dug from deep depths of your closet may look great but are not the ideal footwear for a hike to Wayne Manor so you made sure to save up for a taxi. Not your atypical classy but better than appearing with bloody feet and being mugged 67 times on the way there. 

The Wayne Manor is hard to miss even as you are a mile away. You find yourself dazzled by the vastness only seen previously by you on TV. Your taxi driver drops you off at an appropriate amount of distance so that you can walk.

You pass what you assume to be millions of dollars of jewelry and satins as you make your way towards the mansion. An older gentleman with a gentle face is checking invitations at the door. 

You hand him yours hoping not to seem too eager. He gives you a warm smile as you thank him. 

“Have a fantastic night Ms. Y/L/N.” his accented voice reads your name off the invitation. 

The inside continues to astonish you as you take in the riches you thought only existed in movies. You can't help but gawk at the amount of stairs. Why do rich people need so many stairs?

After grabbing a drink, you go in search of familiar faces. You greet a few of your coworkers but then your eye catches an editor for a major newspaper in Gotham. You wander over to the assorted foods and pretend to be interested in them when in actuality you are plotting the best way to introduce yourself. 

“You're staring,” a voice makes you jump and drop your plate you had began filling up.

Oh there's only one person that could be.

You turn around to find a smirking Jason Todd. He cleans up nice, you mentally note. He has a crisp, obviously expensive black suit on and his hair is semi tamed back with some gel. 

“Is this some weird hobby you have? Scaring the crap out of people so that they drop absolutely everything in their hands,” you bend down to grab the food but he holds out a hand and swiftly crouches and sweeps the crackers back onto the plate. He grins and offers the plate back but your only answer in return is a look of annoyance.

He shrugs and puts the plate back on the table. 

“So why are you staring at Mr. Prie?” he asks and you cross your arms.

“I'm not.” he hitches an eyebrow at this obvious lie,

“Yeah ok well since you aren't you probably don't want me to introduce you to him,” he challenges you with an amused look and his hands casually shoved into his pockets,

You contemplate your options. Ignoring Jason and hopefully keeping the clumsy at a normal rate. Or meeting the man that could possibly give you the job of your dreams.

“Fine, yes I would love to meet him. Could you please introduce me?” you grumble and this seems to feed the smirk.

“On one condition,” he says. 

“Listen pal I am not being blackmailed into a date-” 

“One dance. That's all I ask. One dance,”

You stare at him calculatingly.

“Is this how you usually get girls?”

“I usually don't work so hard,” you blush at this which amuses him.

“Fine, you weirdo. I will dance with you but first introduce me,” you give in.

He offers his arm with a boyish grin. You roll your eyes and stroll past him towards Mr. Prie. 

Jason does an impressive job of introducing you as a highly-valued employee and even compliments your character. Damn, this man can charm the pants off of anyone. Mr. Prie ends up offering you a personal tour of the paper, making you even more successful than you thought you'd be.

You manage to keep your calm professional look as you shake his hand but when you are out of earshot you punch Jason in the arm in excitement.

“A personal tour!” you rub your hand after punching a surprisingly thick mass of muscle.

Jason’s grin matches yours as you look up at him absolutely beaming.

“Thank you so much for your help,” you say genuinely. 

“Hey don't use your words to thank me,” you look at him questioningly as he does an obnoxious spin and offers his hand out to you, “Use dance.”

You chuckle at his dramatic voice.

“Yeah about that, I can't dance,” all of a sudden you are pulled into the dancefloor and you collide into Jason's firm chest.

“Nonsense,” he says and you shake your head.

He looks at you sympathetically, “Here just follow my lead.” His hand wraps around your waist drawing the breath from you while his other hand clasps yours. 

Placing your free hand on his shoulder, your feet follow his and after a few toe-steppings, you find yourselves falling into a natural movement. 

“I am really sorry I was so rude to you the first time we met. I'm not usually like that I promise,” you say breaking the silence.

His eyes twinkle bemused. 

“I think I am the one who should be apologizing. I was being a jackals.” he admits.

You nod your head. “Yeah, you're right. Forget what I said.”

He laughs a hearty sound and you can't help but enjoy the vibrations it sends through his chest. 

The night is turning out way better than you expected. But it can only last but so long.

[lanternwisp]

there's literal hell in the Tim Drake tag and so I'd just like to ask, what are the actual positives of Tim's character? Everyone likes to completely shit on him and claim he's the worst and others claim he is the only true pure cinnamon. And I'm just confused.

Okay, here’s the thing (and I go over this more on my liveblog whothefuckistimdrake): 

Tim’s origin story is terrible. He did not sleuth out Batman’s identity; he was simply obsessed with Dick Grayson and Batman after witnessing the Graysons’ deaths and thus recognized a flip Robin did when he was watching the news. He then went into a grieving household, acting bizarrely out of touch emotionally, and claimed “Batman needs a Robin” with 0 evidence. Bruce didn’t need a Robin, he was grieving his dead son (something Tim only gives passing thought, having never cared much about Jason) and needed support, which Dick agreed to provide as Nightwing. But Tim is obsessed with Robin and said that wasn’t enough, and donned the suit anyway. 

It’s OOC and plot hole-ridden. How could Dick and Alfred encourage a stranger and child to put himself in danger after Jason? Is it not extremely fucked up that Bruce needs a kid (not even his OWN kid) to do that for his emotional stability? And it’s never even backed up - in subsequent stories Tim does absolutely nothing for Bruce’s wellbeing. In fact Tim acts affronted when Bruce’s mood disorders manifest or his PTSD leads to him getting triggered by reminders of Jason. Also, by the point of Tim’s origin he has absolutely no personal relationship to crime to justify becoming Robin. The “child sidekick” thing only works when the kid really needs it, like Dick and Jason did.

So “Batman needs a Robin, Tim saved Bruce!” is a total utter lie. “Tim is so brilliant, he figured out Batman’s identity!” is also a lie. And later it’s also clear that “Tim is the best staff fighter and skilled from his training with Shiva!” is a lie too; he spent one week getting kicked around by Shiva in a yard. That was it.

The truth really is that Tim is a white rich boy with tons of privilege, specifically created in the aftermath of the classism that killed Jason Todd, as well as a DC executive mandate that decided the comics needed a Robin again.

Now, some facts about Tim: 

He is not a great fighter and in fact tended to get beat up even by people less trained than him. However, he IS good at trickery and roundabout techniques that allow him to win anyway.

He’s not a great detective, but he seems to be good with research and hacking.

It is unintentionally implied throughout his run, starting in his earliest appearances, that Tim is neurodivergent, possibly on the autism spectrum. He also was prone to hallucinations in times of great stress.

Tim’s parents did indeed spend most of their time traveling, leaving him with a nanny or at boarding school. But Tim was never left alone or went hungry, he was just raised the way a lot of rich kids are.

Tim hated school, dropped out, and did not want anything to do with corporate business. Even Red Robin, which bigged up his sueness and paved the way to New52 Tim, limited his Wayne Enterprises involvement to an offshoot charity program.

Tim did like tabletop rpgs and videogames, but he really was not a nerd in school. The popular kids seemed to like him just fine.

Tim being asian or originally coded asian is a total myth. Across his run in comics, from his early appearances ~1991, he’s explicitly called white.

Tim consistently considers himself more Drake than Wayne, and always puts Jack Drake before Bruce in terms of who his father is. But he never felt neglected by Bruce, who was canonically a very attentive and supportive mentor to Tim.

Tim is canonically a cheater who had both physical and emotional affairs and never confessed them to either his girlfriend, or the girl he cheated with.

So the critiques people have on Tim are valid. He was created to be palatable to white middle class men as a self-insert after DC wanted a Robin again, and thus a lot of his character today gets undermined as a result.

[exiting-the-void]

If there was one girl you could have back who would it be? And why? Apart from your most recent ex because that would be obvious

Tumblr AnswerIt's a differcult one to answer. I've had many great relationships. Some lasted longer than others, but I dated these girls because they all had something in common. They each had a lovely and caring heart. They also each meant alot to me. I'd narrow it down from 4 of my main relationships. You guys remember Abi right? She helped me out when my followers chart went through the roof.Then there is Becca. We have alot of history and you're about to get a history lesson in a moment also.Then there is Ellie and Georgia.Georgia was my first love so I wish things could have happened differently.So I'm not going to talk about this separately. I'm going to go back to when I was 13 when me and Becca first dated.Then that led to Georgia, Georgia led to Abi and then Ellie came out of nowhere.So here is the story for your question.I'll make it as short as possible because otherwise this story would fill 300 pages easily.Becca and I went to the same primary school. So we knew of each other from the age of 6.I always had a little thing for her. My best friend Liam was living at there's for a few years with his mum. So I was there an awful lot. We turned 12 and 13. I was the older one. And we were speaking on Facebook, decided to meet up a few times. And decided to start dating. It snowed that year on her 13th birthday. I gave her a card with £5 because I'm classy like that. We went to Mcdonalds and held hands in a company of her two best friends. That relationship ended in about 3 weeks. It was petty. I think we might have kissed three times. I don't know hahaWe drifted. Again almost a year later the same thing happened. It was September. We were meeting up alot. We were at a friend's house, drinking cheap alcohol. And we kissed. We dated again for another 3 weeks just for it to come to another end. This time we actually snogged.We are now in 2009, September. I seen her in Mcdonalds and alot of memories came back to me. Regrets of leaving her ect.. I knew I didn't really deserve another chance but I chanced it anyway. We went out one night with friends. I was abit Drunk. Told her how I felt. Told her I'd remember it all in the morning. Which I did. So I repeated myself. We trialed for a short while. I played and sang whatcha say by Jason durulo and asked her out at the end of it. She said yes.Halloween we went to a party. I got way too pisses and told her about my self harming. A month or two went by and I broke up with her because I forseen my future and told her that she wouldn't want to be apart of that. My vision became true eventually. A year or two passed with us not being in contact again. I met a girl. The first girl I ever truly loved. Georgia. So I met Georgia in school. She was running around the yard with my friend, I instantly liked her.. We got talking. We met up alot. I Began to really like her. We held hands and I felt so fucking good. I loved her already. We kissed. It was amazing. I loved everything about that moment. I told her I had 5 words for you. Will you be my girlfriend. She said yes. I felt so fucking good. Now I was a horrible person in school. Always fighting. Never lost one, only ever been punched in the face 4" times, one of them times wasn't even in a fight. Just some drunk idiot, I let it slide, I have no time for that shit now. Off subject.... Anyway, she changed me for the better. My school suspensions lowered by 80%..i was sent home from school almost weekly. I had the record of most sent home, suspensions, in the school. It was bad. I had over 300 from when I first started high school. I was troubled with mental health they didn't understand. So we agreed that each week I behaved I'd be rewarded with a kit kat. Yeah maybe that sounds silly but it worked. It just a little fun on the side I guess.Then becca and I started talking again. As usual, coming up to Christmas our time of year. It was nice, we spent time together again. Nothing was going on. It came past Christmas, she spent new years with me and down my nanas.my nana wouldn't let us sleep in the same room even though nothing would have happened. I had alot of respect for this girl. She said to me don't leave me. I said I'd never leave you. My biggest promise I'd ever broken. Anyway.. The new year, the worst year of my life. I was turning 16.I started to gain feelings for becca again. Everything went tits up. Valentines day I was with Georgia, but wanted to be with becca. I had been planning to break up with Georgia for a week or two to go with becca. I got Georgia a teddy bear. She named it Jack. My heart snapped. I felt like crying and I felt so fucking terrible because I could tell she was starting to love me. My feelings were all over the place.Anyway we broke up. I instantly I knew it was thoughts over feelings. I made the biggest regret of my life there and then. I told becca I couldn't do it and I wanted Georgia. Probably guessed that me and becca fell out and stopped speaking again.Me and Georgia got back together. I told her I. Loved her. My birthday passed. I could tell she didn't want to be there. She broke up with me. I cried for weeks. I self harmed. It was all my fault. I was a total dick. I didn't cheat on her. Not once. But I did tell becca I had feelings for her. I then lost the first love of my life. And my best friend.Time went on as it does. September. I had a girlfriend. The first girl I had sex with who had broken up with me, I was instantly hurt. But Georgia was still on my mind. Always was. But then there was Abi. She held me in a forest when I was crying because of this break up with Molly. I always new Abi liked me. I can detect alot from. People and emotions and feelings are the easiest.Me and Abi became close friends after that. It snowed one day. The video snow day on my. Youtube is the day in question. Great day. I realised that day I liked Abi.We grew closer. We had a very intense week to our build up for our kiss. I knew exactly where I wanted to do it and how I wanted to do it, so I planned it out for about a week. And it was the best build up and first kiss I've ever had. It was something from a movie. Fabulous.We spent a lot of time together. Some of the best days of my life were with Abi. We got on really well. Knew each other really well. Put up with each others shit really well, sometimes.. However this was when I started to smoke weed alot of more than when I started which was not long after my break up with Georgia. One night we went camping with some friends of mine. We seen the stars. It was beautiful. I said some cheesy shit and she said she was ready.We contected a lot better after that night. We had alot of good times. Nice short adventures, watched some movies. Spoke alot on personal levels. And I fell in love again but I held back because of the hurt.Really Im finding it hard to love. I will find it hard to ever truly love again. I've given and sometimes wasted my energy and love on other people rarther than myself. Love isn't as strong or controlling to me as it once was before. And that really makes me sad.So I became un loyal to Abi as Georgia stepped back into my life and so did all the feelings I left behind. I told Georgia I loved her still. Which I did. But I had spoken to Georgia off and on constantly. But she wouldn't tell me that no we would not ever get together again. She left me feeling I had a chance. So I couldn't let go. Abi found out about this. But I could be wrong here but this I think happened on the second time me and Abi dated. We were off and on abit. I wasn't loyal in our break up either. It was in Facebook and she didn't know I broke up with her until a week later when I had to explain that our conversation last week was me breaking up with you. Yeah I felt like a twat, but I deserved it.Time went by. I was doing alot more drugs. My great nana died. Abi was there for me, my friend died the next day in a car crash. Wasn't a massive Friend. But someone I knew and got on with really well, seen quite often and even spoken to her on the phonea few hours before she died. Abi was great. No matter how many times I hurt her (not physically) she'd still be there for me. So thank you for that Abi.Come August me and becca were good friends again. Me and Abi were a little more distant now. Anyway that was a fun summer. Drug use, increased. I got in trouble and went away for two years. Becca and Abi were there for support the whole way through. Amazing people. We are still in contact now, and remain close and good friends.Georgia and I haven't spoken for a few years and I managed to get over her 4 years after our break up.Then Ellie. The last one. What it was about Ellie was that she was just an incredible person. Lovely, fun, we connected on many levels. Loved the same things, and she was always up for having a good time. We'd go on walks, climb things, drink, I had stopped doing drugs at this point for a good while. So I didn't participate in the weed smoking or anything more. But she was An all around great girl. Always honest and said it like it is. And we were very alike. So thats why she is here in the chart. Not a big story. But i wish it lasted longer and didn't end the way it did. We Still talk a little and always happy to see each other. We broke up because she had feelings for an ex. And I know how that feels and told her she needs time on her own to figure shit out. And ended on good terms anyway.So there are your four. There are more but I choose these because of the stories, how alike we all are on different levels. Also to how happy they made me feel. But becca was the biggest part in my life and in this story. But the long story would see differently and it would be Georgia. This is honestly as short as I can keep it.But the truth is, I wouldn't want any of them back. I wouldnt want to do it all over again. We broke up for a reason, and they are my exes for a reason. Without them and what we went through, I wouldnt be in the position I'm in now. Talking to all you lovely followers. Getting to know you all individually and helping you guys out. I wouldn't have the amazing friends I have today. I wouldn't have my characteristics I have, my loving heart. I'd be a different person and most times I like who I am. I'm glad what happened happened. Just maybe not in the circumstances they happened in. But everything happens for a reason. Not one of them would I want back in my life, besides the point two of them already are. But everything happens for a reason. But if if there was one I could do it all over again with, it would be Georgia.

[builder051]

For the character thing, your two fave questions from each category for any character of your choice. I wanna know about them :o

I’m going to go with Mike because she’s my depraved fave.  TW for eating disorders/poor mental health and death.

This is a fucking novel.  Sorry.  (OR you’re welcome.)

Full Name: Michaela Renee Deangeles

Reason behind nickname:  Mike naturally derives from her first name, so it’s an easy nickname to go with.  She’s also always been a tomboy.  Her parents aren’t super fond of the nickname, but it’s been what she calls her self for years and years.

Predominant features: Very, very slim.  Also very dark and thick (but reasonably well groomed) eyebrows.

Favorite outfit: Slim-cut black Adidas sweatpants with the white stripes down the side, a dark green long-sleeved t-shirt she took from Jason, and running shoes.

Greatest fear: Being hospitalized/institutionalized and not being able to control her own life.  She’s been there before, and it’s not something she wants to experience again.

Soft spot: Being an expert.  If someone (very timidly/politely) asked for advice about something she knew a lot about, she’d be much more likely to be nice to them and actually help them out.  She has her walls up all the time, though, so that hardly ever happens.

Drives and motivations:  Her own goddamn whims and happiness.  She’s kind of a selfish bitch.

Immediate goals:  Do the stuff.  Act like a human.

Most important childhood memory: The funeral for her baby brother.  He died unexpectedly of SIDS at 4 weeks old (Mike was 5 and Jason was 4).  She doesn’t remember Andrew much at all, but the funeral is vivid, mostly because her mother made her wear a dress and punished her afterward for not sitting still enough.

Dream job: Professional athlete.  She’d love to play in the WNBA, but she’s also good at soccer and volleyball.  She doesn’t take near enough care of herself these days maintain good athletic performance, though.

Relationship with mother:  Bad.  Mike feels her mom has always been disappointed in her for not being a perfectly well behaved feminine princess.  Her mom did support her interest in sports, but never really saw it as a passion/possible career (more of a hobby).  When the ED symptoms started up, Mike’s mom pulled the ‘why are you doing this to us; why do’t you just eat?’ thing, and that pretty much ruined things for good.

Relationship with sibling:  Because they’re less than one year apart, Mike’s always been close-ish with Jason.  When they were little, they would play together really well if it was something like a board game or sports game.  They’d work together to hide things from their parents, too, like R-rated movies and candy they weren’t supposed to have.  They bicker a lot more as young adults because Mike views Jason as her parents’ spy breathing down her neck to make sure she behaves during her college years.  But she has to give him some credit because he trusts her not to tell Mom and Dad that Colby lives with them too.  (She also seriously adores Colby as a friend and roommate.)

Favorite music:  Flogging Molly.  Hard core punk rock, esp. Irish rock.

Least favorite color: eye-watering neon pink

Smokes: Is hesitant about it because of years of anti-drug education and athleticism, but will do cigarettes to kill appetite and be defiant.  Wouldn’t say no to smoking anything else if she had any way to get it.  Girl has no friends.

Is extremely unskilled at: tic-tac-toe.  She knows what the logical moves would be, but she doesn’t want to be predictable, so she ends up making random moves that make it easy for the other person to win.  Then she’s pissed about it.

Daredevil or cautious?  Daredevil, though if everyone else was being a daredevil, she might be cautious just to annoy them.

Prefers working or relaxing: Working, actually.  She’s a good student naturally, so she doesn’t have to study much, but she finds that spending more time on her schoolwork means less time having to deal with ED brain, which is a big plus.

One word the character would use to describe self: (She’d use two just to be a jerk) fucked up

What would she consider her worst personality trait?  Giving in.  She’s very strong-willed most of the time, but if she gives in to temptation (like eating something unhealthy or letting someone talk her into doing something), she feels like a huge failure and will beat herself up for it for hours.

Opinion of other people in general:  Weak.  Boring.  Annoying.

Person character secretly admires:  Ash.  They were BFFs in high school, and Mike would like to be as goofy and resilient.  He’s not without insecurities, but they definitely don’t rule his life as Mike’s do.  Where Mike has walls miles thick, Ash has none at all.

[nottodaychacha]

Riverdale Chapter 19: Death Proof

 In which Betty continues to be the #1 best at everything, Jughead leans hard into the gang #aesthetic, Archie doesn’t screw everything up for once, Veronica finally starts acting like the badass she is, and all the parents are terrible except, shockingly, the Lodges (sort of).

Initial Thoughts

K: I like Toni and am glad she turned down Jughead and said she prefers girls. Now I can like her without complication. And I’m so glad they kept her bisexuality.  One of the great things about the new comics are how much more diverse they’ve become and it’s good to see the show at least attempting that (even if they could definitely do better), rather than white washing and straight washing everyone.

K: And I don't think Toni was trying to steal him away or anything. I think her issues with Betty were more what she represents (the Northside vs. Southside, affluence, oppression, race) than it was about wanting to steal her boyfriend.

K: I'm torn on them getting back together. Like, I knew they would and wanted them to, but that was fast and we didn't get to see the scene where she explains what actually happened. I wanted more exploration of their emotional states while apart. I do hope they at least go into how all of this is going to affect their relationship.  I miss the Betty/Jughead emotional I'll support you no matter what scenes from the first season. I am glad they are back together for mystery solving sake, too. They are better detectives together than apart.

K: Though I do love the Betty and Veronica mystery solving duo we got briefly. Yes, let's just follow a drug dealer into his den in our cutest high heels.

R: While I severely questioned Jughead and Archie's drag racing abilities, I never once (because she is a goddamn dark angel with a ponytail of gold) questioned Betty's ability to fix a muscle car.  Because she's amazing. 

R: Let Ronnie and Archiekins hang out in bed together in the middle of the day because nobody's parents give a shit, and be like, "Oh, no, your dad was shot, we better screw in the shower."  Bughead needs to be the, "You have to win a race that your dad goaded you into to save his gang?  I'll Rosie the Riveter myself and fix up this muscle car for you."

R: So, the Mayor is the worst.  She's like, "I'm not going to unite this town.  Also, fuck these students, who cares about them.  What's that?  My daughter did some drugs?  BURN THE SOUTHSIDE TO THE GROUND!  Why?  Because I'm the mayor, that's why." 

K: Who cares about arrest laws?  Like, they just rounded up people for, like, being in school and wearing flannel? Flannel and 80s denim being the official uniform of the Serpents  .

R:Open shirts and greasy hair being the official uniform of the Ghoulies.

The Big Bad

Theory: Maybe there's the real killer and then random dude (Hal?  Hal's secret twin? Sheriff Keller, Rosewood's rival for worst police ever?) who just took the opportunity to screw with Betty/use her superior intellect and detective skills.

1. The handwriting on the two letters didn’t match.  2. Whoever it is has to know Betty pretty well to know about the Nancy Drew book. 3. Other than the Sugar Man, the people he’s going after make no sense if his aim is genuinely to “clean up Riverdale” like he told Betty.

We would like for Sheriff Keller to be like, "Oh, yes.  I know exactly what's going on!  Just let me go to my secret Sheriff only room to get my thoughts together." Then he runs to the restroom at Pop's and calls Betty on a burner phone.

Side Quest

So Dangerous Minds was the Sugar Man all along. Sure, we guess that makes sense?  Like A) if he's Stand and Delivering these kids, no one would suspect him and B) easy access to his network of dealers. Plus, like, it's a shitty school so he probably doesn't have to do too much actual work.

Is Tall Boy evil or stupid? Why did he have to get Jughead on his side? He's like, "As the son of FP, you hold a lot of weight with the teenagers."  Like all 10 of them?  What about the pool hall full of adults?  Is that not enough of a quroum to vote in a joint venture with the Ghoulies?

The dynamics of this gang continue to confuse us. Like, Tall Boy appears to be the only active adult member now and Toni is I guess the only girl, so is this just a gang of like 16 year old boys? 16 year old boys who think taking care of dogs is a good gang initiation and solve their problems via Grease themed drag races and yet are also somehow the most feared and reviled people in Riverdale?

WTF Riverdale

Jingle Jangle.  JINGLE JANGLE. We continue to be expected to believe that any self-respecting drug dealer would name his product Jingle Jangle.  We refuse to take that seriously.

Yeah, it's bad or whatever.  But it's not meth.  It's like the kids did ecstasy with a stupid name and shoved into a pixy stix, and the parents are losing their minds about it.

Moms and Pops

So the Lodges were almost not terrible! Sure, they were fine with working with the people whose son would have most definitely raped Cheryl had he not been stopped, but they didn’t hesitate to throw them under the bus (possibly literally) when they found out he tried to do the same to Veronica.  So...progress?

Penelope is a monster.  She is just the worst, all of the time, end of story. Throwing the check in the fire at the end was not enough to make up for blaming her own daughter for her assault. Just an awful human being.

Homage of the Week

I mean, Grease obvi. Just look at this.

Cha Cha just wishes she could be Cheryl.

Most Riverdale of the Week Award

Despite us being total Betty stans, the winner is Cheryl!  She totally rocked the drag race.  Her conversation with Betty in the garden was hilarious.  She confronted her mom about her abuse and she pressed charges against Nick St. Clair, both very brave moves. She found out who the Sugar Man was.  Also, this.

A little insight into Cheryl and Betty from R because it was too good to not share:

I like that both Betty and Cheryl get stuff done and get answers, but in totally different ways.  Betty is journalistic, and a go getter who will walk into a creepy abandoned house that a killer told her to go to alone, or who will "innocently" ask the Sheriff questions under the guise of writing a school article.  Whereas Cheryl is just 100% about being super snarky and acting like she doesn't care, only to later put on her flashy red duds and some ballin' lipstick, and hold her mom's breathing tube closed or threaten to destroy the hush money.  Betty is about finding her answers, but Cheryl is all about forcing them into the open, whatever it takes.

Best Lines

“Not the kind of drag race I ever imagined myself going to, but at least the guys are hot.” - Kevin is all of us.

“I beg your misogynistic pardon?” - Veronica, defending women always

“I'm a school-newspaper reporter!” - Betty, the highschool newspaper reporter who is smarter than every adult in town.

“You catch my Riverdale drift, boys?” - FP, king of the puns.

“You are an enigma, Cooper.” - Jughead “heart eyes” Jones

“Oh well. Karma’s a bitch.” Veronica, stone cold and speaking the truth

“I found out who killed Jason Blossom. I found out who the Sugarman was. You're next, Black Hood. I'm breathing down your neck. Can you feel it? Can you feel me?” - Betty, the ultimate badass

-K & R