#billy posting... again

[thatswife]

Lesson #1: Never watch a Hallmark movie with Billy.

[moonlightcycle571]

Interviewer: So Captain, who would you say your biggest nemesis is?

Captain Marvel: CPS

Interviewer: *baffled* Surely there are many-

Captain Marvel: CPS

Interviewer: Not Sivanna?

Captain Marvel: CPS

Interviewer: But Black Adam-

Captain Marvel: I promise you, there is no greater nemesis than the pure corruption of Child Protective Services.

Interviewer: … then who is your second nemesis?

Captain Marvel: Cops.

Interviewer: … third?

Captain Marvel: Do you want a list?

Interviewer: Yes please

Captain Marvel: *pulling out a sheet out of thin air*

Captain Marvel: First it’s CPS. It’s been a fight and still is a fight.

Captain Marvel: Next are the cops. It’s on sight.

Captain Marvel: Next are Nazis. But that’s more CM Juniors thing. He has a particular enjoyment out of punching them.

Captain Marvel: Next are politici-

Interviewer, does not want to get their show cancelled: THANK YOU Captain, but we meant specific individuals maybe.

Captain Marvel: Oooh okay 👌

Captain Marvel: My biological Uncle. Fuck that guy.

Interviewer: I didn’t know your Uncle was one of your rogues.

Captain Marvel: He’s not.

Interviewer: Than what

Captain Marvel: He was a twat. *he learned that from Constantine*

Interviewer: thats not-

Captain Marvel: If you meant in terms of Fawcette rogues, then it has to be Mr Mind

Interviewer: mr mind? Who’s mister mind

Interviewer: THE WORM

Bonus:

Somewhere in a Jar: I sense a great victory 🐛

Bonus 2:

Batman: Alfred, remind me to add PR training for the Justice League next meeting.

Bonus 3:

GI Robot: Something just happened.

[iceysnow]

Cultists: *Summons the ghost king*

Cultists: He who soars above it all, we offer this sacrifice to you as an-

Danny: Aw, man… not again! That's the third summoning this Tuesday :/

Cultists: A child??? What are you doing here!? Where's the ghost king!?!

Danny: Hey man, I'm fourteen, so NOT a child, thank you very much..!

Cultists: There's no way we summoned a random brat- OKAY, take two!

Danny: If it didn't work the first time, what made you think it’d work the second?

Cultists: I’m gonna ignore that- Mightiest Mortal, God of Gods, Hear our call and heed our-

Billy: Oh, hi!

Danny: Heyyyyyyy, I’m Danny :))))

Billy: Billy- did they also kidnap you?

Danny: Yep, cults, am I right?

Cultists: …Gods… What is going on…?

Billy: I’ve got the gods right here, and they said it’s divine intervention 🤷

Danny: More like karma, ever thought they just want their Tuesday evening WITHOUT gifting powers to maniacs like it’s Christmas?

Cultists: Three times the charm!

Danny: Give it up already!

Billy: Do you just have eldritch beings contacts on a list?

Danny: Well, clearly they gave them the wrong number…

Cultists: Silence! O’ Great one, maintainer of the realms beyond-

(Danny & Billy slightly tense)

Cultists: -lend us your power, strength to hold over your pawns!

Danny: Oh shit…

Billy: Wait a second… no way!

Anne: WHERE AM I!?!

Cultists: ARE YOU SERIOUS, ANOTHER CHILD????

Danny (to Anne): You’ve been kidnapped by an apeshit cult attempting- heavy on the attempting part- to swindle a god-like being.

Anne: Wtf dude!? I haven't even died yet!

All but Anne: ????

[tigyrbrained]

Finally redrew that one screenshot from scream 🤯

Ref under the cut!

(I know what they are)

[celebibi]

until his screws are loose

[avalonlights]

For @harringrovewinterbingo | C2: “Flirt dial turned to 'stun'”

[beatlesmenrock]

hi guys

[charlesleclerrc]

BILLY AND CAMILA DUNNE DAISY JONES & THE SIX (2023)

[vivitalks]

we don't talk about it enough but duck and billy's relationship in amnesty is truly a tragic one.

imagine: you rescue a mindless drone. you save his life, you give him autonomy, you give him language. you teach him trust. you protect him at your own expense. you name him billy. he knows three words in your language, and one is your name. you promise to keep him safe, and he betrays his programming to help you in return. he defies everything he was designed to do in order to aid you.

you save him from being a drone, but in doing so, you kill him. he was never supposed to be here this long. you gave him freedom at the cost of rapid decay, and now he's dying. and if he could just go back to his home planet, he would live, but he doesn't want to. because you're here. duck newton, his first friend, his savior, his guardian. you showed him that there is a better way to live - with free will, with pizza and playstations.

he's damned if he stays and damned if he goes. but you can't watch him suffer. that's not who you are. you're duck newton, local beefcake, defender of the disadvantaged. so you wait until he's engrossed in his video game - in humanity, in freedom of choice - and you strike him down out of mercy.

billy reverts to his original form: a four-armed being of light, once a drone, now a friend. he's beginning to disintegrate, but he has unfinished business here. he never finished his video game. and you give him one last gift of mercy: you lie to him. don't worry, you tell him - that character you're worried about? she's fine in the end. no, i know it seems bleak now, but she turns out okay.

you can't give him anything else, so you give him hope. it's the same thing he gave to you, all those months ago when you saved him.

[tendafoot]

billy has cuteness aggression. hey guys, sorry it's been two years LOL how ya'll doin???

[imnotditzy]

Imagine if Billy didn’t know Shazam died?

(This is actually apart of my AU lol)

But what if Billy didn’t know Shazam, the Wizard, was actually dead? Like maybe he did see Shazam get crushed by rocks but he just thinks a Wizard could survive that, Or he doesn’t remember meeting Shazam for whatever reason. (Like he knows it happened because his pantheon told him so, and he remembers like a tiny bit of being at the RoE, but maybe he doesn’t remember Shazam dying)

This would be kinda funny to think about, especially if the pantheon’s trying desperately not to let Billy know Shazam died. But they occasionally slip up, and each time they do Billy gets slightly more suspicious. Also, in my AU since Billy and Marvel and separate entities, I think it would be funny aswell if Marvel didn’t know either. (—which I do have an AU explanation to make it work, but I fear I may be getting too off track already.)

—

Heracles: Shazam was a good wizard.

Marvel: Was?

Heracles: IS, is. I simply misspoke—Shazam is a good wizard.

Marvel: Oh… 🧐

Billy: 🤨

—

Imagine if literally every other magic being knows Shazam’s dead, but Captain’s just none the wiser and tries to talk to them about the Wizard.

—

Zatanna: So…how’d you get your powers?

Billy (as Cap): Oh, by this Wizard, his name’s, uh…

grabs a piece of paper and scribbles the name down

Zatanna: Shazam?

Billy: Yup! Gave me my powers, have you heard of him? I think he’s very well known. I haven’t seen him in a while. Hope he’s still doing alright.

Zatanna (Going pale at the mention of a very much dead Wizard being referred to in present tense): Mhm….yeah…

—

(the league in the cafeteria, listening to one of the rare times they got Captain to talk about themself. —Billy’s just procrastinating going outside in the midwestern November cold.)

Billy: So I got my powers from this Wizard, his names…um. I think I told Zatanna? Captain looks over at her.

Zatanna (going pale): Really. I don’t remember.

Billy: Oh, okay, that’s fine! Here.

Grabs a piece of paper and scribbles down the name.

Superman: Shazam?

Every magic user in the cafeteria freezes.

Billy: Yeah! He’s the wizard who gave me my powers. I haven’t seen him since I became Captain Marvel, though. I should really go talk to him, maybe I’ll do that later.

****

Achilles: But what if we didn’t…

Hercules: How about we don’t…

Solomon: That wouldn’t be a good choice, Billy.

Zeus: I agree, you’d be just of a fool as Atlas to go.

Atlas (offended): Wow.

****

Zatanna (uncomfortable): I don’t think you should…

[thatswife]

It's okay to keep some shit to yourself, Steve.

[harringroveera]

So the S in Steve stands for smooth apparently

[avalonlights]

[pizzacade]

As part of the Christmas Invasion novelization, we get a retelling of the Children in Need 2005 short "Born Again," which gives us the first moments of the Tenth Doctor and what Rose first thought of him.

TL;DR: She couldn’t believe he was the same person as the Ninth Doctor and that the new one was a maniacal madman.