#binary privilege

[rjalker]

if you are included in conversations about transmasculine and transfeminine people that is binary privilege.

if you are able to choose your gender on a government form that is binary privilege

if you have a bathroom designated for your gender in every public building that is binary privilege

if you can pick up any mainstream video game and make a character of your gender or at least see your gender represented through NPCs, that is binary privilege

if you can dress and look a certain way to pass as your gender that is binary privilege

if you can choose a name for yourself that clearly signals your gender that is binary privilege

if you are not told that your pronouns are signalling the downfall of civiliztion, language, and culture, that is binary privilege

if your existance is not erased in every single conversation held by binary people about transmisia, that is binary privilege

this is not a complete list. Binary privilege exists. Exorsexism cannot exist without binary privilege also existing. They are inextricable.

[rjalker]

hope you've gotten some morals since 2015

anyone wondering what the people continuing to deny binary privilege in 2024 are aligning themselves with, here you go. Straight from the horse's mouth.

I can’t believe this is still a thing but here’s your reminder that:

- allosexual privilege is not a thing

- monosexual privilege is not a thing

- binary privilege is not a thing

- while gay men and lesbians can be bi/panphobic, they hold no power to oppress you and do not hold privilege bc they are not mga

- while sga and mga ppl can be aro/acephobic, they hold no power to oppress you and do not hold privilege bc they are not aro/ace

- while binary trans ppl can be against nonbinary genders, they also hold no power to oppress you and do not have privilege just bc they are not nonbinary

- terms like ‘monosexual’, 'allosexual’, any term that groups minorities with their oppressors is offensive

- cishet aro/ace ppl can not use the q slur, as it is not theirs to reclaim

- the only ppl who may reclaim it are sga and trans ppl

- queer is a slur and it is not to be used as an umbrella term for the community

- heteromantic aces and aromantic heterosexuals are still straight and have straight privilege

Thanks.

[rjalker]

Nope, this shit doesn't get to be hidden in the replies anymore.

faggy--butch on the side blog butch-saralance said

how is experiencing a different form of transphobia a kind of privilege? I think that's going too far.

Rjalker said

nonbinary people have to deal with transandromisia, transmisogyny, and exorsexism on top of those, like, very basically, being forced to choose between an M or an F on an ID card with no other options, having people tell us 24/7 that our genders don't exist and our pronouns are an existential threat to the sanctity of language, and, of course, binary people constantly forgetting we exist in the first place, when they're not purposefully erasing our existance and the problems we face. This post is not saying that you're privileged if you suffer from transmisogyny or transandromisia. It's saying it's a privilege to not ALSO have to suffer from exorsexism on top of that. Binary trans men and women might be told they're not their gender, but they aren't told every single time that that gender Literally Does Not Exist the way nonbinary people do. I could go on for hours. You can look up nonbinary people talking about binary privilege to learn more. This is the tip of the iceberg.

faggy--butch said as butch-saralance

you don't have to explain non binary oppression to me, a bigender non binary person. I don not agree that binary trans people experience privilege for experiencing a different kind of transphobia, the same way I don't agree with TMA/TME. This is going into exclusionist territory and I don't think we as a group, who are subject to a lot of exclu hate and violence, should dip our toes in that pool. This is going too far

rjalker said

I clearly do have to explain it to you since you think binary privilege doesn't exist. Read the post and the comments again. You refusing to aknowledge how exorsexism actually works does not mean people who actually talk about it are being exclusionists and you are literally just exorsexist for saying so.

" I don not agree that binary trans people experience privilege for experiencing a different kind of transphobia, the same way I don't agree with TMA/TME. " hey what fucking part of exorsexism is something nonbinary people have to deal with ON TOP OF transmisogyny and transandromisia did you refuse to read. What part of nonbinary people are literally told our genders don't exist are you refusing to read.

faggy--butch said as jellyfemmedyke, another sideblog:

@rjalker If think talking down to me, and acting like I don't know what I'm talking about is going to change my opinion on this thing, you are sorely mistaken. You need to step back from this and take a look at what you're actually saying, because it sounds exactly like oppression olympics, which again, I do not agree with and never will.

this is my alternate account btw

And here we see an exorsexist, being exorsexist. Saying it's oppression olympics and exclusionism to aknowledge the fact that exorsexism exists and is not something binary trans people have to deal with, while nonbinary people have to deal with exorsexism along with all of the other kinds of transmisia too.

Including the fact that we literally cannot get a fucking gender marker on official identification that does not misgender us because our society does not even recognize the existence of nonbinary genders at all.

Or how there's literally no fucking nonbinary bathroom for us to use.

And how our pronouns are constantly held up as inherently destructive of cultural identity and the sanctity of language.

Everything you call transandromisia and transmisogyny is what nonbinary people suffer too, even when we don't identify as men or masculine or women or feminine. And on top of that we have to deal with exorsexism. Like binary trans people refusing to even acknowledge that exorexism or nonbinary people exist in the first place.

And the exorsexist shithead blocked me lofl. Free blocklist everyone. Save yourself the aggravation of dealing with yet another exorsexist.

And free blocklist on her new post about how "we're not going to talk about binary privilege"

"nonbinary people don't subvert more norms than binary transgender people and we all experience the same oppression."

this is exorsexism.

i mean...having a binary gender is a norm. nonbinary people subvert that norm. binary transgender people do not. by that definition, we subvert more gender norms already because we don't only subvert cisnormativity, but also exornormativity (the idea that having a binary gender is the norm). plus, binary genders are recognised in every single society, whereas nonbinary genders are looked down upon even by other transgender people. the whole point of binary privilege is fitting more norms than nonbinary people.

and that we all experience the same oppression isn't true either, since binary transgender people do not experience exorsexism (again, binary privilege). just because you all just say transantagonism when something is specifically targeted at nonbinary people doesn't make exorsexism not real. you all just don't want to acknowledge it, as that would also mean acknowledging it within your own communities and within yourselves.

[trixxedheart]

It is amazing how the "people that love and uplift transwomen" website will instantly fucking maul a transwoman if she even remotely insinuate that using radfem rhetoric harms trans people

[jellyfemmedyke]

My favorite thing is assigning privilege to people who don't have it so that I feel better about my own oppression. yessir nothing better than that

[rjalker]

no one is co-opting nonbinary genders as a fashion statement that is just blatant exorsexism. (per #13)

Same with #14 that is literally just exorsexism. No one is pretending to be nonbinary to look cool. Nonbinary people are not fucking seen as cool. And we weren't seen as cool even when you wrote this post in 2012.

editing a partial binary privilege list

please do not reblog unless adding commentary/feedback to better edit this list. it is not ready for widespread circulation.

compiled from here and here, with edits to scratch out those which i find untrue, bold to emphasize those i personally feel are important and definitely true, and commentary

——-

If I am a binary-gender person (that is, a woman or a man, whether cis or trans)…

It is possible for me to be read as both my gender and cis. / There is a way to pass as my gender.

I am not told that no one has my gender, or that my gender is wholly unique.

Words that have versions specifically for my gender exist. / Words to describe my gender not only exist in every natural language, but are commonplace.

People do not refuse to use my correct pronouns on the grounds that they are grammatically incorrect. /People will not have to “get used” to using my pronouns, as they use them for people on a daily basis, and will not tell me that my pronouns are “too hard” or treat them as some sort of novelty.

There are ways to legally and officially represent myself as my gender.

Forms that ask for gender list my gender.

My gender is a noun, not an adjective.

Names with my specific gender exist and are easily available to find.

I can express my gender concisely, precisely, and pause.

Modifications I make to my body to alleviate dissonance and/or dysphoria are seen as such and are accepted by trans rights activists as necessary.

I am not told that I really do not have gender.

It is clear whether or not I can be legally married to my partner.

My gender is not co-opted by people as a fashion style.

‘Radi-kewl’ people do not co-opt my gender/s to make themselves look more subversive/cool/radikewl.

Modifications to my body that can alleviate my dysphoria and/or dissonance exist.

People know my gender exists. / People have met people of my gender.

My gender is not considered to be fictional in and of itself.

I am not told that humans can not have my gender, nor are the words and pronouns I use to describe my own gender used as an insult.

I was told that my gender existed when I was young and had the words for my gender from a young age.

My parents are not considered abusive for raising me in my gender.

Rooms for a specific gender exist for my gender.

Gender-specific safe spaces for my gender exist.

It is obvious which gendered facilities such as bathrooms and locker rooms people of my gender are allowed to use.

I am not labeled gender-confused for not having the gender one would be expected to have.

When people attempt to use inclusionary language about gender, I am included.

My gender is not continually erased by even the most ‘progressive’ and ‘open-minded’ of people.

I can expect a gender therapist to treat me with respect and to have seen people of my gender before.

Telling someone my gender is unlikely to result in being asked what my genitals look like.

My behavior is not taken to be representative of all people of my gender, since most people have met many people of my gender before.

Characters with my gender are represented in media both commonly and in many different ways. / Characters with my gender commonly appear in fiction as more than just a joke, and are often mentioned in serious non-fiction.

re: the above bullets: not specifically a trans* person of my gender; these are all pretty important though

When I tell people my gender, I do not have to specify my pronouns, their declinations, their spelling and/or pronunciation.

not always true, as pronouns do not always correspond to gender identity; however, overarchingly more likely

My words for my body are considered acceptable, understandable, and correct.

perhaps more broad but definitely affects non-binary folks disproportionately

My gender is not taken as representative of my religious and/or spiritual beliefs, nor my political or philosophical beliefs; I am not assumed to be polytheistic because of my gender.

although, many queer and/or trans* people are assumed to be non-Christian or more generally non-monotheistic

People openly state that they are attracted to my gender; there are words for this attraction. / There are commonly-known words for my sexual orientation that reference my gender.

again, gender-in-and-of-itself; stating attraction to specifically trans women or trans men is, a dubious privilege because of fetishization and objectification

My presentation and/or preferred clothing is not continually seen as proof that I am lying about my gender.

also affects binary trans* people, ie butch trans women, femme trans men; but, true enough to leave as a point perhaps

I am not used as ammunition for cissexist radikewls to hurt other trans people.

although plenty of trans* identities get used to hurt other trans* identities in general

I am not told that my gender cannot possibly be important.

?? not 100% sure what this is saying

I am not considered to be mentally ill because of my gender.

I am not told that I am delusional for being my gender.

I am not asked to justify my gender, or prove why I am my gender.

perhaps not the gender in-and-of-itself, but all trans* people face this; should this go up in that section?

I am not derided with the language of ‘self-identifying as ___’.

I do not have to repeatedly state my gender; I do not have to come out with verbal words about my gender.

I know when I am welcome in a gender-specific space.

I am not used as an example of a Good Radikewl Transie.

People do not assume my gender is a phase.

perhaps more likely, and in-and-of-itself, but binary trans* folks face this too

Other people accept that I Was Born This Way (my gender).

perhaps “people who generally accept Born This Way arguments”? but no, binary trans* folks may also be seen as “choosing,” if less often perhaps

When I tell people my gender, my sexuality is not assumed to be queer, gay, non-existent, or anything else.

perhaps more likely? but let us not forget Lou Sullivan’s need to fight for queer trans* men to be recognized as trans* men, and the usual assumption of trans* = straight

[rjalker]

it's so clear that when most people say "transmasculine" they mean all trans people assigned female at birth, and that when they say "transfeminine" they mean all trans people assigned male at birth, regardless of our actual gender or how we want to present ourselves. They literally use them as synonyms for what gender you were assigned at birth, but now UNO reversed.

And since they literally never bother to talk about any other kinds of trans people besides transfeminine and transmasculine ones, they are making it incredibly clear that if we don't misgender ourselves to jump into one of those binary boxes, then as far as they are concerned we aren't actually trans and have no issues worth talking about, because we don't exist.

They literally cannot even be assed to add "and nonbinary people" to their posts about the entire trans community. Because they think saying "transmascs and transfems" is inclusive of the whole community. Because they'd rather die than not force nonbinary people into another binary.

They're so hellbent on this transmasc / transfem binary they don't even include the trans men and trans women who specifically do Not identify as transmasc or transfem. Because they want to pretend The Gender Binary 2.1 is progressive this time.

You can say "nonbinary people". It won't fucking kill you. You can include nonbinary people in the conversation about the entire fucking trans community without misgendering us.

What part of the word "nonbinary" do you think means it's okay for force us all into yet another? fucking?? binary???

[pangaeaseas]

ohhhh my god the lily was a bad friend to Snape thing pisses me off so fucking much. just willful misreading and frankly sometimes disturbing blaseness towards what the real problem was (not just the slur! JOINING A FUCKING HATE GROUP! and also slurs are bad--we should be able to understand this, right?) I mean one of the problems with it is that it doesn't fully understand the multiple power dynamics at play--blood status, gender, AND social class are all important in the lily/Snape and Lily/Snape/marauders dynamics. And also? I think Lily is meant to be read as not actually of a significantly higher class than Snape--she's working class but her family is slightly more financially stable and determined to hold themselves above him! So the class dynamics aren't 'rich popular girl Lily and poor bullied Snape' it's 'also poor but slightly less poor Lily'!! AND this interaction cannot be read without Snape's blood status privilege. And. Of course. The fact that him calling her a mudblood in public was a sign of him fully embracing Death Eater ideals and he went on to join the Death Eaters--having already been associating with them for a while. The initial slur isn't even forgiveable but it becomes even more heinous when you remember he was joining a group dedicated to exterminating her because of who she was. Why should she give a shit about who bullied him anymore? When we talk about what Lily and Snape are doing post Snape's Worst Memory, I would say that the fact Snape joins the freaking Death Eaters is a far worse betrayal of their friendship than Lily marrying James (which isn't even a betrayal, exactly, as she is, you know, an autonomous person with her own wants needs and opinions).

[rjalker]

Exorsexism does not just exist as misgendering.

There are in fact forms of exorsexism that binary trans people don't have to deal with. It's literally not just misgendering.

But no one ever fucking listens when we talk about those things because you're all too busy insisting that exorsexism is just a different flavor of misgendering.

You can have solidarity without ignoring what exorsexism actually is.

And equating intersexism and exorsexism is just not how this works. They are not the same thing, they are separate forms of oppression, overlapping, but not the same thing. The fact that this post is treating intersexism and exorsexism as interchangeable and just a matter of misgendering and degendering and nothing else is really fucking telling.

Another thing about different gendered forms of transphobia is, if you're about to say "[xyz act of transmisogyny] NEVER happens to trans men or [presumed] AFAB NBs" or "[abc act of transandrophobia] NEVER happens to trans women or [presumed] AMAB NBs" or "[uvw act of exorsexism/binarism/intersexism] NEVER happens to binary perisex trans people"-

You are wrong. I guarantee you that you're wrong.

Gendered forms of transphobia and intersexism are gendered by PRIMARY target, not by EXCLUSIVE target. Whether because someone misreads your gender, or just because someone feels like using a certain framework, or whatever other reason, people can and DO, regularly, attack with whatever is convenient.

The bathroom predator stereotype was invented to attack trans women, but if a men's restroom is all urinals + one broken stall and there's a trans man who can't stand to pee, do you really think people are going to look at him in the women's room and go "go right ahead and use that toilet unbothered, fellow vulva-haver, you pass the vibe check, love your style, have a great night~!"? No! They're going to be just as shitty to him as they will be to any trans woman they clock! Hell, they'll be just as bad to butches regardless of ASAB, or even just to cis women with features they consider too sharp!

The tragic grooming victim force-transed by Big Pharma stereotype was invented to delegitimize trans men, but do you think the transphobic mother of a 9-year old trans girl isn't going to use it to wrestle her daughter back under her thumb and bar her from taking puberty blockers? Of course not! She's going to hop on that stereotype and ride it into the sunset to spin any way she abuses her kid as "tough love" and "cult deprogramming" and "saving" her!

And intersexism/exorsexism/binarism? Friends, I hate to break it to you, but all trans people are treated as gender-confused freaks who fail at being BOTH men and women, regardless of whether we're actually nonbinary or not - what gender are we? Whatever is convenient to demonize us at the moment, regardless of whether or not it's ACTUALLY part of our identity. Trans men who do not pass perfectly (and in fact many who do) are degendered, assigned "nonbinary" because Real Men Don't Look Like That, and then made into all of those horrible transphobic jokes about nonbinary people really just being the worst misogynistic stereotypes of ditzy bimbo not-like-other-girls girls who just want to be special and are simultaneously incapable of taking anything seriously or accomplishing anything as activists but also SOMEHOW able to overwhelm and devastate the entire community of REAL, DESERVING queers who are REALLY oppressed unlike them. Do we not remember that one Reductress headline? They/Them Pronouns Suddenly Easy For Person Misgendering Trans Woman? Do you think the trans woman being misgendered in such a situation is NOT being cast as the butt of exorsexist, intersexist, binarist garbage?

We're all in this mess together. Bigots don't draw neat lines in the sand that never get crossed, however much they like to say that's their purpose. We should stop trying to do their job for them.

[pickled-flowers]

I wonder what about me, a trans man with boobs, make people think I don't experience misogyny 🤔

[chronotopes]

literally i do think anglophones who maybe learned one (1) romance language in school often do notttt understand the degree to which gender is baked into like every aspect of language in a lot of cases.

[brainrotarchive]

some thoughts on Good Omens and male privilege

Crowley and Aziraphale (as well as all other celestial beings) are canonically genderless icons. However, through all of history they present masculine and I think the reason for that is pretty obvious. It‘s not like their personalities simply align with masculine traits and that‘s why they choose it most of the time. They both love traditionally feminine (meeting up for fancy wine dinners to talk about life and gossip about their bosses) and masculine (cars) things. And Crowley in season 2 explicitly does not identify as a "lad". Also, the definitions of masculinity throughout history are neither logical nor consistent and they more than anyone would be aware of how made up gender roles really are. I also don‘t think that Above or Below are patriarchally structured especially in the show. They are supposed to be completely indifferent towards gender so why do they always choose to present as men?

I think it‘s because they are both lazy when doing their jobs and choose the path of least resistance. Think about the Arrangement, for example. If there‘s a way to make their job easier, they‘ll do it. Being a woman is and always was limiting in some way. Especially when trying to influence humans (men) into doing either good or evil, being perceived as a woman makes things harder. And as observers of human cultures they‘re very aware of that and they probably, over the years, got very comfortable with their male and white privilege and use that to make their lives easier. Aziraphale also imo got attached to his appearance at some point and doesn‘t want to change anything about it.

The only time Crowley appears as a woman, it‘s as Nanny Ashtoreth. Here, again, she benefits from traditional gender roles (woman=trusted to care for children) to reach an end goal. So, I think overall they just present as the gender that‘s most convenient at the time which is usually male.

[rjalker]

A nonstop example of binary privilege that people have been talking about for decades

Exorsexism is having to lie about your gender identity, making it seem more towards the binary than it actually is, so you can get hrt

this is exorsexism.

[nothorses]

I keep seeing stuff in online queer groups about gender abolition, but in the sense of people wanting to abolish gender identity itself instead of just gender roles, and honestly as a trans masc it's really scary to see stuff like that being pushed around because even if there wasn't any words to describe being trans, it's still a feeling that people would feel

Anyways sorry to vent its just really scary because it seems like radfem rhetoric is inching its way into the queer community

Yeah, that's one of those things that I honestly tend to see a lot in real-life progressive spaces mostly dominated by young queer folks. I have met a lot of very young nonbinary people who are genuinely accepting of all trans people- at least in theory and goal- but who also haven't thought super critically about gender theory, and end up projecting their own feelings about gender (and what they've seen/heard in punchy little soundbites on twitter and tiktok) onto the rest of the world.

I think it arises when those personal feelings meet subtle radfem rhetoric and folks just do not know enough to catch that, or don't think to examine it more critically. And it sucks. And I also think they're often well-intentioned people who do not want to do harm to other trans people, and who's ideas tend to evolve pretty quickly once they have some better ones to move towards (though I have certainly met people who aren't and don't. people are people).

I also don't want to imply that this phenomenon is exclusive to nonbinary people. Aside from the fact that plenty of cis queer people also believe this, and that it originates in radfem and TERF rhetoric to begin with, there are plenty of other examples of trans people projecting their experiences onto everyone else: transmedicalism is a great example.

[rjalker]

(sarcasm) there are only *checks government form* 5 genders (end sarcasm)

[ID: a cropped picture of a form that reads "Gender (select one), with a red asterisk marking it as a required question. The options are: Male, female, transgender male to female, transgender female to male, and other/unknown. End ID.]

[spitblaze]

I'm not at all an expert on gender studies but if you're interested in it at all I HIGHLY recommend you look into oppositional sexism as an issue because I feel like I can see into the fourth dimension of queer discourse now