#or like trans women and trans men is this just a difference in experiences and systemic targeting by cis society

[chaifootsteps]

I heard that you are a trans man and I apologize for asking this head-on because I heard many trans people prefer to not be addressed as trans but I assumed you are ok with it

I was just wondering what it takes to officially call oneself a trans man? What does it take to be considered a trans man? What is the difference between a woman who likes being perceived as a man but still wants to remain a woman, does it count as being trans or is it just a part of some woman experience that has nothing to do with being a man?

just to be clear, I perceive trans men as men. I just known numerous men who were initially born as women, including those who were doing the same thing i do until they transitioned so I learnt i'm not alone in doing this, yet I realize I don't feel the need to fully become a man in my life and I keep wearing the "man weil" while thinking (or trying to convince myself) i'm a woman. I can't become a man because I don't feel like it is who i am but at the same time I can't throw away my weil and I feel comfortable in it. I was asking this becasue maybe as a man you know a lot of things about going through gender identity crisis

That's the thing about being trans...there's no exam you have to take, no registry, no checklist. Anyone can call themselves anything they want, and we can argue until we're all blue in the face whether that's a good thing, but there you have it.

If you don't feel that you're a man, then that settles that, you're not one. Doesn't matter what you look like, sound like...if you're happiest as a woman in a man veil, then that's what you are, and if you ever reach the conclusion that something's changed, then that'll be your call and only your call.

[0x28]

i think people would stop finding it so shocking when a trans man is misogynistic if they just saw them as men instead of women lol. men are misogynistic sometimes they just do that

[roman-roy-apologist]

yeah ok i get it you don’t think transandrophobia exists but you do realize that it’s still bad to be shitty to transmascs right? you get that right?

[weeb-dealer]

tmes will get so mad when u say theyre tme

[mothranting]

hate how this hellsite talks about women lately. to be honest.

[nothorses]

I keep seeing stuff in online queer groups about gender abolition, but in the sense of people wanting to abolish gender identity itself instead of just gender roles, and honestly as a trans masc it's really scary to see stuff like that being pushed around because even if there wasn't any words to describe being trans, it's still a feeling that people would feel

Anyways sorry to vent its just really scary because it seems like radfem rhetoric is inching its way into the queer community

Yeah, that's one of those things that I honestly tend to see a lot in real-life progressive spaces mostly dominated by young queer folks. I have met a lot of very young nonbinary people who are genuinely accepting of all trans people- at least in theory and goal- but who also haven't thought super critically about gender theory, and end up projecting their own feelings about gender (and what they've seen/heard in punchy little soundbites on twitter and tiktok) onto the rest of the world.

I think it arises when those personal feelings meet subtle radfem rhetoric and folks just do not know enough to catch that, or don't think to examine it more critically. And it sucks. And I also think they're often well-intentioned people who do not want to do harm to other trans people, and who's ideas tend to evolve pretty quickly once they have some better ones to move towards (though I have certainly met people who aren't and don't. people are people).

I also don't want to imply that this phenomenon is exclusive to nonbinary people. Aside from the fact that plenty of cis queer people also believe this, and that it originates in radfem and TERF rhetoric to begin with, there are plenty of other examples of trans people projecting their experiences onto everyone else: transmedicalism is a great example.

[sciderman]

Sometimes i remember a comics moment i randomly came across somewhere, where Sam Wilson mentiones a musical and Steve Rodgers says he doesn't like musicals, to whitch Sam goes "Guess that means you really are straight" and even tho i don't care about Cap America or the Avengers, the moment stuck in me for that quote by Sam. And like....Sci, any ideas if straight men actually don't like musicals or is that bullshit?

actually i think i know more gay men who hate musicals than i know straight men who hate musicals. i've had a drag queen stop me point blank when i was about to sing a barbra streisand song, and i know so many gays who pointedly hate abba. so based on my experience i think the inverse is true. most of the straight men i know are kind of impartial about musicals, but gay men? hate.

my theory is that a lot of gay men don't want to fall into stereotypes, maybe. but thaaaaat's just a theory! a gay theory.

[bisexualseraphim]

Alright fine I’m gonna speak my mind.

My cis followers, listen up:

Being attracted to trans people is not inherently a fetish. The way you speak about trans people CAN be fetishistic, but 99% of the time when I see cis people calling out trans fetishism it’s literally just. Someone being really horny for a trans person. That’s not inherently fetishistic.

Sorry but it actually hurts me a little when I see cis people claim that a content creator is being fetishistic for drawing a trans guy with tits and a pussy, or for writing smut where a trans guy really enjoys using his pussy for sex, or God forbid said trans guy is fem. Trans people like that exist, you know. I myself have a pussy and fuck yes do I want people I’m in a relationship with to be attracted to it. And the same goes for many transfemmes who keep their natal parts, especially butch transfemmes.

Trans people are not a monolith. We don’t all hate our bodies or experience dysphoria or express our genders the same way. I swear to God cis people are all “allies” until a trans man is fem or a trans woman is butch or an enby isn’t androgynous or we actually enjoy our bodies or we have a kink or sexual fetish you don’t like.

Cis people: I know your hearts are in the right place and I appreciate that, but spouting “oh this content is fetishistic and Bad because trans men NEVER like their vaginas and are NEVER feminine” (or something equal to other trans people) is seriously not the allyship you think it is.

There is absolutely a conversation to be had about fetishising trans people — chasers in particular — but it’s quite a bit less black and white than hating certain FICTIONAL portrayals of trans people because these types of trans people exist in real life and we can see what you say about us.

I love my dick and my pussy (because I have both — are you aware we can have both?) but I saw a post today by someone I really like that actually made me feel kind of shit about myself because it was a cis person essentially saying that smut that describes my genitals in any particularly horny light is fetishistic and that really kind of hurt me. It made me feel like people think I’m undesirable due to my body only it was said in some backwards attempt to be an ally which is almost worse than deliberate transphobia lol.

I guess my point is: not all trans people’s feelings and experiences are universal. Call out obvious transphobia when you see it, yes, but please stop speaking for us about complex situations you just can’t fully understand unless you’re trans. Trans identities and experiences can be so much more complicated than what mainstream celebrities and articles will tell you and I just really need cis people to stop behaving as though the issues we face are a quick and easy fix. It never is. Sometimes the best allyship is to listen to how WE feel and take it into consideration instead of saying whatever you think we want you to say — because a lot of the time, we don’t.

[autistic-katara]

can these kinda ppl just stop existing?

[squidong]

should I remake my discourse vent blog lmao

[genuflecting]

conflating sexual orientation with genital preference is just so weird to me. I told someone I was gay last night and they asked if I was into dick or pussy, and it completely short circuited my brain as I tried to explain that it's about gender, not genitals. It feels like if instead of asking someone if they liked coffee or tea, asking if they liked opaque or clear hot beverages. Like, I like tea with milk and also without, and I like coffee with cream but also espresso, but not black coffee? And in that same way, if someone is just squicked out by tea with milk that's completely valid for them, but to then extrapolate their own experience outward and define a tea drinker as someone who doesn't like milk is both a logical fallacy and reductive of the human experience. Gender and sex is so much more complex than that and I can't fathom trying to reduce it down to such a false binary.

[magicdyke]

dude is just not smart

[dootznbootz]

There's something so specifically infuriating when someone uses one of your experiences or your demographic in an argument, especially if said argument is about spreading hatred or is just so wrong. They "speak on behalf of the ___" to say such fucked shit.

"You're not thinking of the ___!"

"I literally am ___. You saying that adds nothing as you do not speak for me or for other ___. Shut up."

[8-evil-annoying-catboys]

no way that i saw someone tag a post about IRREVERSIBLE DAMAGE: THE TRANSGENDER CRAZE SEDUCING OUR DAUGHTERS, with ‘tw transmisogyny’ and that’s it. not even ‘tw transphobia’ which the same person has a separate tag for. the book that is famously about trans men/mascs and how fucked up we are. not surprised to learn this same person believes transmascs don’t deserve a word to talk about transphobia that is specific to transmasculinity and that pointing out that transmasculine people have unique experiences with transphobia, just as transfeminine people do, is inherently transmisogynistic. ok.

[corvidcall]

remember when the big discourse on here was cis people loudly telling other cis people that genderbends are inherently transphobic and if you do them you're The Bad Man

that was dumb lol

[shopcat]

ik this is a dumb ask to send on christmas eve no less but my family is annoying and im tired and need an escape so im just gonna be a bitch for a little while: i hate how much the stddie fandom feminizes steve while simultaneously equating femininity to being small and soft and submissive both sexually and in general. like its rlly telling that none of these people want to explore what steve could find interesting and comfortable in being femme (even though he's pretty consistently traditionally masc throughout the show in how he chooses to dress and what his general interests are etc) they just want him to be The Girl in the relationship. its the same with how like 90% of the fandom decided out of nowhere that he's a bottom and must also be a sub bc steve, the most sexually confident and experienced main character outside of the actual adults, would absolutely be a stereotypical blushing virgin bottom and wouldn't want to be in charge of his own pleasure regardless of how he's physically getting it

no for sure i actually have seen this a lot with other charas but it's particularly off with steve specifically because of the way people go about it is just concerning 😭. i've actually said before in passing that ppl almost tend to treat steve somehow misogynistically which is CRAZY but it makes sense because like one of the roots of homophobia is misogyny and at the end of the day it's just homophobia!! i think people want to indulge in the idea of him being feminine and simply get carried away and it's clear that their idea of femininity is tied in pretty transparently with soft submissiveness. and while it's true that men don't typically GET to indulge in these aspects of their own masculinity and getting to take this typically very masc character who has shown aspects of nontoxic masculinity can be a thing that invites nuance scrubbing him down until he's this like pathetic little waif of a thing who creams his pants the second the big strong man (in this case eddie but i know this is 99% of what h*rringr*vers do too) comes along to tell him what to do is concerning at the very best.

being gender nonconforming in any particular way is a complex thing and i would ENCOURAGE!! people to want to explore it with kindness and NOT as a way to at the end of the day sexualise and bastardise it to the point of no return. steve IS pretty and he is my babygirl and i do like saying he's a mean girl and he giggles and tucks his hair behind his ear and even wears the tinted chapstick and put him in pink outfits and perfume honestly like 99% of what people do with this i tend to ENTHUSIASTICALLY agree with but it's pretty clear when they're doing it to genuinely explore these things and celebrating the dissection of gender nonconformity and sexuality which has traditionally and continues to be dismissed/a marginalised aspect of being outwardly, clockably lgbt and when they're doing it ingeniously because they think it's like hot. and like yeah totally it's literally so hot but omg have some tact.. the hottest thing in the world is a gnc bisexual/gay man so it's understandable that ppl let their brains melt a little but let's give nuance the floor here for a SECOND please...