#blame Jodi for this actually

[blakbonnet]

on why am I crying today

[macksartblock]

i'm working at 'em lol remember to vote Terry

[molloyism]

it is that time of the day (i will listen to my traumatized lesbian tess owen playlist 😊)

[justablah56]

Jodie foster for the ask game

Jodie my beloved blorbo in law <33

First impression - I . did not like him shjsjsksk he was a dick and a cop and also replaced my beloved girl Glenn . I just very much did not like him .

Impression now - what a little guy oh my fuck . someone help him please . the most cringefail divorced loser who needs a hug and someone who will just stay with him PLEASE that man has the worst attachment issues known to all living and dead and has chosen to deal with them by just . not getting attached . he still does he just forces himself not to interact with the people he's already attached to and makes things worse for himself . I love him dearly , I hope someone gives him a fucking hug .

Favorite moment - him giving Nick the fuckign . grenade ? I think ? when they're escaping prison hsjdjdn he's literally so insane why is he like that

Idea for a story - one that me and @taylortheanimerangerteen have talked abt , him and Zhao Dae getting separated and Zhao just taking care of him honestly . like this demon has had to deal with the depressed fuck for a while now , and now that they're separated he can actually help him out . I just think Jodie deserves someone willing to force him to let someone take care of him tbh

Unpopular opinion - uhhhhh idk . ig thinking Jodie's actually a decent human being is unpopular ish ? idk, thanks to my dear friend, Taylor I just think he's more of an actual person than I think lots of the fandom thinks of him .

Favorite relationship - Jodie and Zhao !! the most qpr guys to exist !! they're fuckign head mates !! I could go on for so long abt their relationship , they're just everything to me . and yeah ik lots of the fandom barely even knows who tf Zhao is but fuck you my friend made me think abt them so now I'm forcing that on anyone who decides to read this lmao

Favorite headcanon - Jodie had a rebellious phase in like . high school / college ish and that's when him and Morgan got together , but for Jodie it was actually a phase (unlike Glenn) bcs I think then Morgan getting w Jodie in the first place makes more sense lmao .

[crushpunky]

drew and actress!reader play the vanity fair game show

masterlist | actress!reader masterlist

based off the OBX3 interview + suggested by this ask <3

“I am Madelyn Cline and we are here to test how well we know each other.” Madelyn said into the camera, sitting in the “hot seat”. The rest of her OBX costars sat opposite her in two rows, shoulder to shoulder and grinning ear to ear. Drew sat in the back, along with Rudy, JD, and Austin, where y/n sat in the front with Madison, Carlacia, and Chase. Drew wore a light purple blazer, a color the boys had made sure to tease him for all day, but he didn’t mind. Y/n liked the color on him, so of course he was going to wear it.

“... and we’re the cast of Outer Banks!” Madison and Carlacia said, the rest of the cast joining them and waving at the camera. Madison put her head down with a giggle before composing herself and straightening up once more. Y/n could feel Drew’s fingers combing lightly through her hair, playing with the ends as they waited for the game to begin. She looked back at him, grinning at his long, tousled hair. He smiled back, his fingers continuing to run through her hair as they focused back on the game.

“Ok, first question: which astrological sign do I like the most other than mine?” Madelyn said, the end of her marker resting on her lip as she thought. Quickly, the room burst into shouts and guesses, everyone clamoring to win the very first point of the game. Drew stood from his chair, craning his neck to see what Madelyn’s card read.

“Hey, no cheating!” Y/n pointed at him, a mischievous smirk spreading across his face before he sat back down.

“I’m gonna say Gemini.” Drew said, raising his eyebrows as he glanced into the camera.

“Gemini women. Yes.” Madelyn replied, giving Drew the first point. The rest of the cast booed playfully, Drew patting himself on the back as Madelyn’s turn continued. Once she asked her last question, it was Drew’s turn in the hot seat.

“Y/n has to wait to answer.” JD said, the cast turning to y/n, her mouth falling open.

“That is definitely not in the rules!” Y/n laughed, rolling her eyes.

“Now they are.” Rudy said with a shrug.

“Ok, what is my secret talent? Bonus, where did I learn my talent?” Drew read, looking over the question card at his co-stars until his eyes met y/n’s. She narrowed her eyes, trying to read into what Drew was going to write on the card, after all, he was a man of many talents.

“Sleeping.” Carlacia said.

“You play piano?” Austin guessed.

“See what’s happening is you're just giving me a lot of ideas.” Drew said, taking the cap off of his marker as he prepared to finalize his answer.

“Oh, write it down, I know it.” Y/n said waving her hand for him to write faster. Once he finished, Drew looked at her to answer.

“Juggling.” She answered, Drew flipping the card around to reveal his answer: juggling/insomnia.

“Question two: what’s my favorite food?” Drew grinned, writing his answer down quickly.

“Mama Jodi’s casserole!” The cast said in unison, Drew nodding as he flipped the card around.

“Almost burned down the apartment complex cooking that one time.” Chase pointed out, causing Drew to gasp.

“That was actually y/n’s fault.” Drew said, pointing a finger at y/n who scoffed.

“You were the one that was distracting me!” Y/n shot back, raising her hands in surrender as she thought of the memory. It had been Drew’s birthday and y/n had decided to surprise him with his favorite casserole. However, the two of them had gotten so entranced in an intense game of Mario Kart that she completely forgot about the food in the oven… until the smoke alarm went off.

“Fine, I will take some blame… only a little bit.” Drew cracked a smile as he shuffled onto the next card.

“Last question: who is my celebrity crush?” Drew scowled, biting his lip as he thought.

“Y/n y/ln.” Rudy said quickly. A small smirk spread across Drew’s lips as he hurriedly wrote his answer down, the rest of the cast hooting and hollering as y/n covered her face with her hands and a flush spread to her cheeks.

“Yeah, that’s correct…” Drew said bashfully, scratching his jaw. “I don’t think she likes me though, if I’m being honest.”

“Definitely not.” Madelyn teased, nudging y/n’s arm playfully.

The game continued, each member of the cast having their turn into their hot seat until it was finally y/n’s turn.

“Drew has to wait to answer.” Y/n said, pointing at Drew. His mouth fell open, his competitive nature kicking in as he groaned.

“The rules, Starkey.” Austin said, shaking his shoulder lightly as y/n picked up her first card.

“What is my favorite movie?” Y/n asked, pausing to think of her answer before writing it down.

“La La Land? The Lego Movie? Moulin Rouge?” Chase guessed, attempting to rattle off as many guesses as possible.

“Pitch Perfect!” Madison said with a giggle, to which y/n nodded.

“Yes, very big Pitch Perfect fan.” Y/n responded. The cast had many memories of watching (and performing) the movie during quarantine when all of them were confined to their shared apartment complex.

“Next question: what is my go-to karaoke song?” Y/n raised her eyebrows as she wrote her answer down on the card.

“Something Taylor Swift, yeah?” Madelyn asked.

“Surprisingly, no.” Y/n laughed. Drew and y/n had hosted many karaoke nights in their shared apartment, the entire cast fitting onto their sofa to sing and dance the night away. The two of them had even gone as far as buying a karaoke machine, complete with mics and lights. It was quite a hit.

“Oh my god, I know it—” Rudy said, snapping his fingers as he searched for the right answer.

“Alanis Morisette...” Drew whispered, to which y/n scowled at him.

“You Oughta Know!” Madelyn cheered, stealing Rudy’s answer with a giggle.

“Yep, that’s right… thank you, Drew.” Y/n said, quirking an eyebrow at Drew who just smiled back. Y/n shuffled her cards for a moment, drawing out the final question.

“Oh boy, last one...” Y/n said dramatically, the cast letting out a string of “ooohs” as y/n cleared her throat.

“What’s my on set snack?” Y/n read, quickly scribbling down her answer as her co-stars looked between each other. Drew sat there, a smug grin on his face as he watched their castmates struggle to answer the very simple question.

“I literally had the same snack every single day.” Y/n said, hoping to direct her co-stars in the right direction.

“I never had the same break time as you two, that’s not fair!” Carlacia said, turning to face Drew who simply shrugged.

“The answer was pickles.” Y/n said, turning the card around to reveal her answer.

“What kind? We need specifics.” JD asked, quirking his brow.

“Dill. The ones in the bag.” Drew answered for y/n, who simply nodded.

“And with that, we are the cast of Outer Banks…” Y/n led, gesturing to her friends opposite her.

“Thanks for watching!” The cast said in unison, waving to the camera.

[wheneverfeasible]

Awakenings

wc: 2.3k || rating: T || cw: none || summary: Steve, Robin, and Eddie discuss their queer awakenings with (not-so-) surprising results. || ao3

“I mean, I don’t blame you,” Eddie grinned from where he was draped over the Buckleys’ couch, socked feet crossed against the wall as his head hung upside down off the cushions. “Jodie Foster is a babe. Did you see her in Carny?”

Steve laughed at Robin’s red face. “More times than she would like to admit,” he teases her, throwing a half-popped piece of popcorn at her face. Her resulting shriek was worth her throwing an aptly named throw pillow at his head.

Steve doesn’t know exactly how they got on to this topic, but it wasn’t unusual. Ever since Robin came out to Eddie, resulting in Eddie coming out to her in a panic at seeing her look so uncomfortable, which then resulted in Steve having to come out when Eddie panicked about him, well, a lot of their conversations when they were alone devolved into queerdom.

They had been watching music videos on TV and discussing who was hot, which resulted in them talking about how they had discovered they were queer, or maybe should have realized it sooner. Apparently Eddie had been obsessed with this one Irish singer/bassist dude who had recently passed away, which now that he knew he was bi, he realized now had been a celebrity crush.

Which prompted Robin to tell them who had been her lesbian awakening, another celebrity crush.

“Ugh, too bad I don’t have a chance with her,” Robin bemoaned from where she was now trying to smother Steve with the pillow she had thrown at him from their spots on the floor in front of the TV. “Not only is she a celebrity, but she’s also straight!”

Steve laughed, pushing Robin away. “I don’t know, man, you saw that interview she did years ago when asked about boys,” he teased her. “She probably likes boobies too.”

“Stop saying boobies!” Robin shrieked again, grabbing another pillow to smother him with.

Eddie laughed at them, well used to their sibling dynamic. “Well, we all know who awakened little Stevie, don’t we?” he teased, causing the two roughhousing to pause. Which was just as good since they’d ended up knocking over the popcorn bowl, though thankfully it was mostly empty already.

Steve hesitated, wondering if he’d been that obvious. “I truly don’t think you know,” he said dryly, almost mockingly. He wasn’t ashamed of it or embarrassed by it, but he also hadn’t wanted to make anything weird in their friend group.

“C’mon, dude. It’s obvious! Tom Cruise!”

Steve froze. Processed. Let out a groan. “Oh my god, I’ve had a crush on Tom Cruise this whole time,” he whined, dropping back onto the floor on his back. “No wonder Nancy always gave me a look when I wanted to watch his movies.”

Robin and Eddie both laughed at him, though at least Robin had the decency to try to hide hers.

“You mean you didn’t know?” Eddie asked, obviously delighted by that turn of events. “Christ, Harrington, I thought you were going to cream your pants when we watched Top Gun.”

“Well I know I like him now,” Steve complained from his spot on the floor, waving a hand in the air. “But he wasn’t the one who made me realize I was bi.”

“Oooh, then who was it?” Robin teased him, poking him in the ribs to watch him squirm.

Steve rolled his eyes. Maybe he hadn’t been obvious then. He sat back up and propped himself up on his hands with a small shrug. Like he said, he wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed. Well, maybe embarrassed by what had made him realize, but not the who of it. Never the who.

“Jonathan,” he answered simply.

Now it was Eddie’s turn to squawk, tumbling ass over tits from the couch to the floor as he tried to lift himself up to stare agog at Steve. “WHAT!”

Steve just let out a chuckle, bringing up a hand to rub at the back of his neck. “Yeah, pretty early on actually. Well, I didn’t realize it was a small crush yet, but yeah.” He let out a heavy sigh with another roll of his eyes at his two friends’ gaping expressions.

“When was this!” Robin exclaimed. “How could you not tell me about all of this!”

“I just didn’t think it was important,” he huffed. His cheeks turned slightly pink at her first question, however. “Uh…it was…whenhepunchedme,” he said in a rush.

“Sorry, could you repeat that, because it sounds like you said when he punched you!”

Steve could only give her a sheepish grin and another small shrug. “It was kind of hot,” he admitted, causing Robin to throw herself back with a small wail. Eddie was just staring at him with wide eyes, but what else was new. “He liked Nancy and was trying to defend her honor, and then I said those really shitty things about his family when Will was missing.”

Steve sighed. Honestly, he regretted those things the most. Sure, he’d been wrong about what Jonathan and Nancy had been up to, but Nancy hadn’t given him another excuse than cheating on him at the time. Saying those hateful things about the Byers though, when he knew they were hurting? That had been fucked up, especially when he saw what an amazing person Joyce was, and how sweet Will was.

He’d apologized to them all after that first time (minus Lonnie of course because that guy does suck) but he still feels bad about it.

“I just thought it was hot at first though, the strength and male aggression, which made me realize maybe I was the queer. Then I started thinking about how Jon protects those he cares about, and by the time I realized that I felt jealous of both him and Nancy, they were already dating.”

“Oh my god,” Eddie muttered, scrubbing a palm over his face. “Oh my god.”

“I don’t have a crush on him now,” Steve complained. “But yeah. Jonathan Byers was my bi awakening,” he added with a grin.

“I can’t believe you never told me this,” Robin hissed, smacking him in the arm. “And after the Russian drug confessions and everything!”

“Hey!” Steve said, swatting back at her. He pointed an accusing finger at Eddie. “What about Eddie! He never told us who was his awakening. Just that he should have known sooner than he did.”

Robin’s gaze immediately swerved to take in Eddie’s pinking expression, a wicked grin curling her lips. “That’s right. Who made you realize you were a big fat homo, Munson?”

Eddie chuckled nervously, his gaze darting back and forth between them. “Uh…does it matter?” he hedged, causing Steve and Robin to roll their eyes in sync.

“I told you about Jonathan,” Steve pointed out. “And Robin told you about how she’s been a useless lesbian all her life.”

“Hey!”

“So who did it, Munson? Who made you realize you like boobies and dick,” Steve grinned.

Eddie continued looking at him, eyes wide and face turning pinker by the moment. “I…” An excruciating moment passed before his face crumpled and his squeezed his eyes shut with a nose scrunch Steve had always found adorable. He covered his face in his hands and let out a pained sigh. “It was you, okay,” he said, voice cracking.

Silence.

Steve felt a stutter in his chest, turning to look at Robin who was staring back at him with her own shocked expression. As one, they turned back to look at Eddie.

“Me?” Steve softly asked. He probably shouldn’t feel so smug about that, but he also couldn’t help it. To think that he, Steve Harrington, had been someone’s queer awakening. It was totally going to his head.

“Yes, you,” Eddie huffed, dropping his hands but not raising his head at all.

“When?” Was it back in high school? Back when he was wearing his gym shorts or speedos for swim? Eddie thought he was hot, whenever it was. He tried to keep a smile off his face at the thought.

“When you…” Eddie let out a groan, obviously embarrassed, which…ow? Was he embarrassed he thought Steve attractive? Was this just because Steve was a normie or because of who he’d been in high school?

“When I what?” Steve asked just as softly. He didn’t know if he wanted to know the answer now.

“When you bit the bat in the Upside Down,” Eddie admitted in a tone like pulling teeth.

Yeah. Okay. Steve definitely didn’t want the answer now. Because what the fuck?

“What the fuck?”

Eddie flinched a little at Steve’s response. “Look, it was hot okay!” he tried to protest. “At least you weren’t punching my face Mr. I-have-a-crush-on-Jonathan-Byers.”

“Had. Had a crush,” he reflexively corrected. He blinked at Eddie who still refused to look at him. “Are you shitting me right now, Munson? That was when you knew? I thought you’ve known for years!” Steve complained, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “Did you have a crush on me, or did you just think I was hot?”

He regretted the question as soon as it left his mouth. Of course Eddie never had a crush on him. Finding a guy attractive was one thing, but actively liking him? Yeah, Steve knew better than to think Eddie could ever like him like that.

“Have,” Eddie whispered.

“What?”

“I have a crush on you,” Eddie mumbled, and then he was finally looking up Steve through his bangs. “I used to think…I mean, you’d never go for the weird guys. But then Byers?” he asked, tone still quiet, but now with a note of derision to it. “I have much better hair.”

Steve blinked. Blinked some more. Then he drew in a shuddering breath. Eddie has a crush on him. As in currently. As in right now.

Oh.

A warmth blossomed up in Steve’s chest, something he’d never imagined possible actually coming true. He cleared his throat, ducking his head a little to try to get a better look through the curtain of Eddie’s hair?

“Do you know what’s hotter than a punch to a face?” When Eddie lifted his head some to stare at him more fully, giving a small shake of his head, Steve grinned. “Being manhandled against a wall with a broken bottle to the neck.”

Eddie’s eyes widened, his face now fully flamed red, and Steve figured that maybe he really did have a thing for dorks. Considering how he was wanting to smother Eddie’s red cheeks with kisses and love devotions, maybe Eddie wasn’t the only dork here, however.

Carefully, slowly, Steve reached out to settle his hand on Eddie’s knee, his thumb lightly stroking the exposed skin there through the other man’s ripped jeans. Eddie stilled beneath him, scarcely seeming to even breathe, which boosted Steve’s confidence. He let his grin settle into something softer.

“So…it was the bats, really?” he lightly teased. “Not my school speedos, or even me shirtless and throwing my sweater at you?” He raised his brows at that. “I really wasn’t being subtle there dude.”

Eddie lifted his head fully then to stare at Steve aghast. “I didn’t know you liked guys! You were practically throwing yourself at Wheeler!”

“Well yeah, you weren’t giving me anything to go off of,” Steve complained rolling his eyes. “And I wasn’t about to make our friendship awkward by telling you I had a crush on you. Why do you think I never told Jonathan? I thought it didn’t matter. Even when you came out as bi—which, you’re welcome, by the way,” Steve added smugly, causing Eddie to scowl and pick up a discarded pillow to throw at him, “you never showed me any interest. Even when I came out as bi.”

“Well, yeah, you’re like…outrageously hot and an ex-jock. I knew better than to get my hopes up,” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Maybe I should have bit more bats then,” Steve grinned. “Given you more of an incentive.”

“Yeah, okay, Ozzy, but I didn’t—wait, you have a crush on me?”

Steve knew it was mean, but he still laughed at Eddie’s owlish blinking. “Have since the boathouse, but thanks for finally catching up.”

“Oh my god, you are such a bitch!” Despite his words, Eddie was smiling wide, his eyes full of that sparkle Steve loved so much.

Steve could have said something snarky then, but instead he just slid his hand into the hair at the back of Eddie’s neck and pulled the metalhead into a kiss, smiling against his startled lips. It only took a moment for Eddie to respond enthusiastically, however, bringing his own hands up to grab onto the collar of Steve’s shirt as they tumbled backwards.

It took a moment for Steve to even realize Robin was no longer there, didn’t even know when she had left, too trapped in Eddie’s confession. He didn’t truly even acknowledge her absence until she yelled from the kitchen to keep hands above the waist and they only had five more minutes before she was spraying them with water.

Steve chuckled happily against Eddie’s lips, whose answering soft laughter was a balm to his nerves. Eddie liked him back.

It was six minutes later, when Robin really did come back with a spray bottle and forced them apart, that Steve had Eddie curled up on the floor against him with their backs to the sofa, Robin keeping the spray bottle nearby just in case. He didn’t think he had ever been happier.

“Oh, and Oz?” Eddie murmured softly, looking up at him from where he rested his head against Steve’s shoulders.

“Yeah?” Steve answered, feeling something warm and sweet at his apparent new nickname that held so much meaning for the both of them now.

“I am so telling Jonathan you had a crush on him.”

~

I’ve long thought it would be amazing if Eddie nicknamed Steve “Ozzy” and finally I got the chance to put it into a fic. It will definitely be a reoccurring thing though whenever I get the chance tehe

Hostage Hotties: @derythcorvinus @katyawriteswhump @honeii-puff @scoops-aboy86 @dotdot-wierdlife

[leikeliscomet]

Whilst I appreciate RTD2's (awful) attempts at addressing the rise in right wing white supremacist & misogynistic radicalisation it almost *always* shoots itself in the foot by placing the blame at individual issues. Intelligence, loneliness, abuse. Never anything systemic.

You've told the audience the bigotry exists but you never give them any causes or solutions. It's always very liberal. Provide them with a caricature to point at but you never actually get them to interrogate themselves. Only 1 thing or person, nothing bigger to think about.

Hate to say 'self mastabatory' but sprinkling redpill white supremacy commentary in your scripts when you've had an all white writers team in s14 and had abusers working on set back in '05 maybe some self reflection is needed no?

(Also it should go without saying that that cognitive issues, emotional loneliness and experiencing abuse don't make u reactionary and blaming disability and victim/survivors is reactionary in itself)

From the amount of women, queer people & leftists I've had be antiblack to me on here the-single upper-middle-class-evil-white-guy character really doesn't mean anything to me when you all bite off his script on the regular. Conrads come in many shapes and sizes

I don't care for the big circle jerk about hating Conrad coming from the same men who'll go back attacking the Jodie stans with misogynistic and lesbophobic dogwhistles next week. I need more seasoning I'm afraid

[moonlitlex]

I personally also dislike billie and David coming back as new doctors. Maybe its because I wasnt around when their season was on television. But also David can come back as 10 anytime. Could literally make up a reason to follow him in the 14 specials, like the newly generated doctor is missing and 10 has to find him. Having David as 14 to just seems redundant. And with billie i just know rose will be a plot point and I just want something new. And ncuti was so fun its sad to see him go and even if he chose to quit regenerations used to be big events and this one was not and it got overshadowed by billies return. And this sours billie returning too cause I want to keep ncuti.

yeah, i agree with you. bringing david and billie back was 100% a "shit, we're losing viewers and we don't know what to do. quick, come up with some nostalgia bait that will drum up engagement".

but the thing is, this kind of casting decision can only do so much for a show that is suffering because of bad writing. and i also think it's a sign that the people at disney/the bbc/whoever else i need to blame just really don't understand the doctor who and casual, non-fan audience dynamic.

i've already spent years harping on the bad writing so i won't touch on that right now. but there's this thing with brits and doctor who where doctor who was kind of a cornerstone of their childhood for a lot of people. but not all of these people grew up to be doctor who fans. so, it's still something they recognize and care about to some extent, but it's not enough that they'll follow the show. these are the people who watch specials and if they feel intrigued enough, they'll start actually watching the show too.

these are the people who came back to doctor who when they announced david's return. but david's return was 3 "anniversary" specials that didn't really celebrate the history of the show and did nothing to keep them. they just wanted to see david tennant on screen again, maybe because they remember when he was the doctor and they remember liking him. and the 20 minutes of screen time gatwa got did absolutely nothing to sell him to the audience. it still feels like a david tennant doctor story, and ncuti gatwa is just also there. so casual viewers weren't really sold on the new doctor.

it's likely going to be the same with billie. i've already seen several people talk about how their casual viewer friends and family are so excited to have billie back because they loved rose. but it's going to be the same thing. casting billie will appeal to the casual fans who just like rose, but it's not doing anything to keep them around.

but like.... even if they're nostalgic for 2005-2009 doctor who, recognizable faces is not what made them fans in the first place. they weren't huge household names back then and they would not have been a draw to most people. casting david was even a controversy because he was too young and hot. billie had literally only been in a handful of things before doctor who. i know chris was already well known, but i don't think he was the draw. the draw was "doctor who is back, guys!" and the show built a larger fanbase based on its own merit, not based on name recognition.

the horrid thing to me is they're kind of destroying the show right now focusing on trying to appeal to people who are only mildly interested in doctor who. instead of us, the actual fans of the show, who will be watching even if they cast complete unknowns as doctor and companion.

like.... what did david being the fourteenth doctor even add? why couldn't he just have been the tenth. hell, why couldn't we have had a different type of 60th anniversary altogether? i know both jodie and ncuti were unavailable for filming, but they weren't the only two options! we could have done a multi-doctor story with no incumbent doctor. we could have just brought david and catherine back anyway and set it sometime in season 4. there are so many previous doctors and companions who are still alive and willing to come back to the show for specials. do that instead.

and that way, you aren't literally bending the rules of the doctor who universe to allow a third david tennant doctor. especially a third david tennant doctor right before you introduce ncuti gatwa, your first incumbent black doctor. and he doesn't even regenerate normally. david tennant splits down the middle because rtd is that allergic to killing this man (seriously— first with tentoo, then with ten's actual regeneration, and now with "fourteen". twice can be a coincidence, but three is definitely a pattern). and we just did the same thing with billie piper now.

i don't really care if she's going to be the doctor or not. the fact is that first and last stories before/after regeneration are a big deal. and both of ncuti's were overshadowed by rtd's favourite white people from his 2005-2009 run. it would be terrible for literally any doctor, but the fact that it's the first incumbent black doctor leaves a particularly sour taste in my mouth.

ncuti barely got to make his mark. the writing he got was horrible. and he didn't even get to stay the full 3 seasons as is standard for nuwho doctors (and yeah, i know he chose to leave, but i think anyone would choose to leave when you don't even know if the show is renewed or not. you can't leave your career in limbo like that). but he brought good energy to the role! he could have been such an interesting doctor but he barely even got to be the doctor. rtd was constantly writing fifteen to be out of his depth and have bizarre morals. and instead of trying to make the show good he just fell back on nostalgia bait again.

i genuinely can't keep watching this show right now. i said this after the pro genocide eurovision episode too, but if there was any doubt in my mind, reality war totally destroyed it. and if it wasn't the rest of that episode, regenerating into billie piper 100% would have destroyed it. doctor who is eating itself. it's gone from bringing back old enemies to just showing you things you recognize and hoping it'll make you happy. bringing back a 2005-2009 actor once was bad enough, but i let that slide because i was hoping an actually good show would follow. this, after the garbage writing we've had for two seasons? i'm just not interested anymore. i don't care. i will come back after they replace rtd as showrunner (but not if his successor is pete mctighe lmao). until then i just really don't fucking care what kind garbage rtd is vomiting onto a paper and calling a script.

[fireflyinks]

karaoke and cowboy hats

colt seavers x costume designer/manager!reader

there will be multiple parts, this is part one !!

a/n : so so so much fun to write, and probably one of my longest and favorite fics i’ve ever written. i love colt and ryan gosling, and tried to add as many easter eggs from “the fall guy” as possible

summary : colt always seems to be misplacing his costumes pieces, which has him constantly coming back to the costume manager and designer, y/n. the two decide to hang out for once outside of set.

contains: this is just purely fluff and good vibes, no smut, cursing, “will they, won’t they”, part two will have more romance dw

word count : 3.7k

Working with Tom Ryder was one of the most difficult tasks one could be assigned. He was arrogant, narcissistic, and overall just a complete asshole. I had the misfortune of being the costume designer and manager for the up and coming film “Metalstorm”, and Jody, the director, insisted on the most cliché cowboy get ups imaginable, plus a gold metallic touch. Having worked with Ryder many times previously, I knew he would hate this. I had prepared myself for one of his meltdowns long before it actually happened, but it still somehow caught me off guard.

“What the fuck is this?” He stormed into the costume tent, causing me to jump up from my seat in panic.

“Ryder... Jody insisted you wear this.”

Ryder looked down at his attire in utter disgust. “Don’t try to blame anybody but yourself. This is your fault. Are you trying to embarrass me? Do you have some personal vendetta? I’ve never even worked with you before!”

It stung that he didn’t even recognize me from our previous jobs together, but I tried to ignore it. Looking at Ryder’s get-up, he didn’t even look half bad. The gold metallic suit went great with his complexion, and the cowboy hat added a charming touch. But he wasn’t having any of it.

“You have to wear it. It’s not an option. This is your costume.” I tried to act brave, as if his harsh voice didn’t effect me one bit.

“You’re fucking delusional if you think I’m going to be caught dead wearing this. Say goodbye to your job, nobody speaks to me like that. I’m Tom god-damned Ryder.”

The tent’s entrance opened, revealing a very angry Colt.

Colt and I were sort of close, as close as most coworkers get. I didn’t think we’d never hang out outside of set, but I considered him sort of an ally. When he wasn’t performing a dangerous stunt, he’d talk to me about whatever was on his mind and listen to me ramble on and on.

“Just leave her alone, Ryder. She’s not here for you to bitch at.”

It would be hard to deny the fact that I had a small crush on Colt. He was everything I could want; charming, tall, handsome. But in those moments, as he defended me, I could feel it turning to a major crush.

Anger pulsed through him as he walked over to Ryder. I’d actually never seen him so pissed off before. Colt, the easy going, overly sweet, fall guy, was bowing up on Tom Ryder.

I could tell Ryder wanted to say something back, but instead he bit his tongue as he strutted past Colt, making sure to bump shoulders with him on the way out.

Colt shook his head, making eye contact with me. He had a sorry expression on his face, genuine pity for me.

“Ignore him. Ryder’s a jackass.”

I giggled, “That’s an understatement.”

He chuckled, “Anyways, do you have any extra hats? I somehow managed to lose mine, and I already have some stunts I need to do.”

Colt nervously twiddled his thumbs, embarrassed of his clumsiness. It was our third day on set, and he’d already misplaced his hat.

I nodded, smiling. Colt was always losing his props and costume pieces in previous projects we’d worked together in, so I’d remembered to bring extras. Turning around to reach into the bucket of hats, I pulled one out and handed it to him.

“Thanks. And again, just don’t let Ryder get to you. I know you’ve worked with him before, but don’t take anything he says personally, okay? If he gives you any problems, just let me know, alright?”

It wasn’t surprising that Colt remembered me from past projects, but it still felt nice in contrast to Ryder’s forgetfulness.

I nodded, smiling. “Thanks Colt, I really appreciate that.”

My cheeks burned a light crimson shade, and I tilted my head down, hoping he didn’t notice.

As he walked out of the tent, I added “Let me know if you need another hat or anything. I brought extras just for you.”

Colt looked back at me, smirking. “I will definitely need another one, thanks sweetheart.”

The simple nickname made my head spin. Yep, this is definitely a major crush.

—

By day five of filming, Ryder had become okay with his costume. Well, maybe not okay, but definitely impartial. Perhaps because his ego had realized how ridiculously good the suit made him look, or maybe Colt had spoken to him alone about the matter.

Part of me hoped it was the latter.

My job as costume designer and manager was really simple; fix and replace shit all the time. Especially Colt’s shit. When day six rolled around, he had lost three hats, his metallic jacket, and somehow a singular shoe. I’m not kidding, he had stumbled into the costume tent, peg footed, hobbling on the shoe he’d managed to keep. I didn’t mind though. In fact, Colt was one of the few people that actually visited me in the tent, instead of walking in, grabbing their belongings, and quickly walking out, not saying a word or acknowledging my existence. Colt’s visits slowly became one of the only things I looked forward to during filming.

On day twelve, when Colt came in to the tent without a cowboy hat once again, I mustered up the courage to ask him the one thing I never thought I’d be able to ask.

“Do you want to hang out sometime. You know, just me and you? Outside of set.”

The sides of his mouth quirked up. “I’d love that actually. But I do have one request.”

I furrowed my brows, listening intently. “If me and you go out, you have to wear a cowboy hat.”

My mouth dropped open in protest, but he argued on. “You’ve seen me in these stupid things so many times, too many times to count. I’m completely and utterly embarrassed. Maybe I want to see you sporting your southern spirit for once.”

“I’m from Wisconsin!” I giggled, shaking my head rapidly. “I am not wearing one of these things in public.”

Colt rolled his eyes, “Fine, but you have to wear one around set for the rest of filming. Deal?”

I sighed, remembering that I barely ever exit my tent other than at lunch time and when leaving set for the day. “Deal.”

“Karaoke, seven, tonight. I’ll text you the address.”

Colt turned to leave, and I grabbed his shoulder, pausing him.

“I don’t have your number.”

“Oh, yeah.” Colt chuckled, pulling his phone out of his pocket. We exchanged numbers, and he laughed at the excessive amount of repetitive digits in mine.

“And I’m expecting our deal to begin right now.” He said, glancing at the bucket of hats behind me. I sighed, picking one out and placing it upon my head.

“Happy?” I asked, holding out spirit fingers beside me.

Colt beamed, “Perfect.”

He turned and left the tent, and I pulled out my phone and began to update Colt’s contact name, only to sigh and pocket my phone again. Apple somehow doesn’t have a cowboy hat emoji.

—

When my Uber lazily pulled up to the karaoke bar, anxiety pooled in my stomach all at once. I shouldn’t have been this nervous, and I knew I was making this out to be something that it wasn’t. A date.

But what exactly was I supposed to think of this as? Hangouts happen at people’s houses, dates happen at bars. Plus it didn’t help that it was Colt and I alone. I look down at the sun dress that I donned, running my hands down the skirt. This wasn’t too formal, right?

I stepped out of the black car, thanking the half asleep driver, and walked toward the bar. I opened the door and automatically spotted Colt sitting by himself, drinking a small, lean glass of something colorful. The bar wasn’t exactly packed, but it wasn’t empty either. Numerous people danced around as a man in a orange and green polka dot button up did a bad rendition of Lady Gaga’s “Bad Romance”.

Making my way towards him, the anxiety filled my stomach even higher.

“Hey.” I said nervously, sitting down beside him.

Colt looked at me, examining my attire. “You look great.”

I blushed, shrugging. “Thanks, you don’t look too bad yourself.”

He smiled, taking another sip of his drink.

I wasn’t too keen on getting drunk because we still had to go to set in the morning and the last thing I wanted Colt Seavers to see was me throwing up in a bush, but a drink or two couldn’t hurt.

“You want a drink?”

“Sure,” I grabbed the bartender’s attention, “Can I please get a margarita?” She nodded, scrambling to assemble the cocktail.

“So I’m guessing you don’t drink much?” Colt asked, his lips in a sly smirk.

“What makes you say that?”

I chuckled, drinking the last of what I assume what his first drink and ordering another. I then learned the bright liquid was a sunset on ice.

“Well you ordered the most basic drink known to mankind. I mean, at least make it spicy.”

I guess that was true, but I didn’t like experimenting with my orders much. I didn’t enjoy drinking much in general due to the effects it would have on me later.

“I like what I like.” I shrugged, thanking the bartender as she handed me the margarita.

We sat in silence for a moment, until Colt turned to me. “So, what are we singing?”

I coughed into my drink. I hadn’t even thought of what I was going to sing yet.

“Funny of you to assume were doing a duet.” I said slyly, playing off the fact that I was trying to pull a song out of my ass.

Colt raised his eye brows. “Okay, then go and serenade me.”

I nodded at him, walking over to the DJ and requesting “Before He Cheats” by Carrie Underwood. Once Polka Dots was done singing his heart out, the adrenaline had kicked in and I felt as if I ruled the world. Or maybe I just wanted to rule Colt’s world.

The small crowd clapped along as I sang, and I say Colt’s smile through the audience every time I tried to execute one of the runs in the song.

Afterwards, I walked over to him, slightly embarrassed but also proud. “How’d I do?”

His face was covered in amusement. “It was... entertaining.”

I giggled, punching his arm lightly. “You’re the one who told me to ‘sport my southern spirit’!”

He sighed, shaking his head sarcastically. “The cowboy had would’ve made it complete. You missed the opportunity of a lifetime.”

“I think I’ll live. Now it’s your turn!”

I motioned towards the DJ booth, and he stood up turning back for a split second to wink at me.

I was expecting something silly. Maybe Total Eclipse of the Heart, or Sweet Caroline. I was terribly wrong.

By the time the first notes blared out of the speakers, I knew I was doomed.

Wise men say only fools rush in

But I can’t help falling in love with you.

It’s like he’d searched my brain, found my favorite love song of all time, and decided he was going to make me fall in love with him by singing it.

His voice wasn’t perfect. There were parts that were off key and shaky, but the bigger picture was beautiful. I never thought I could fall in love with someone in a karaoke bar.

Once he was done, my shoulders dropped and the tension left my body. It had been so unexpected, the tune had snuck up on me and now I felt head over heels to the man who had sung it. I wasn’t the only one who loved it, the crowd was going crazy.

“How’d I do?” Colt asked me, sipping the drink that had been waiting for him. This had to have been his third drink, and I could tell he was tipsy from the way he spoke.

“It was great.” I wanted to scream ‘It was amazing! It was perfect! Please marry me!’ But thankfully I did not.

“‘Glad you liked it.”

We sat in silence for a moment before I got the guts to ask.

“Why that song?”

Colt hummed, as if asking me to repeat my question.

“Why’d you pick that song?”

He grinned to himself before shrugging. “I just like the song, I guess. It’s one of my favorites.”

It could’ve been my habit of overthinking and examining everything to the smallest detail, or it could’ve been the psychology course that I took in college and obsessively studied over for months, but Colt’s excessive blinking in those moments told me there was a good chance he was lying to me.

Why would he lie over a song?

“It’s one of my favorites too.” I smiled. I’d find out why he lied to me later.

Colt grinned to himself in satisfaction.

We sat there for another hour, and Colt drank two more tequila sunrises, which meant I was now his designated driver.

At about nine, I decided it was time to leave.

“Colt, I’m gonna give you a ride home, okay?”

Colt nodded dizzily.

“Did you drive here?”

“Yeah, here.” He clumsily handed me his keys, almost missing my hand. I stiffened a laugh. “Diane! Close out my tab, please.” The waitress handed him his card quickly.

We stood up, beginning to leave, when Colt turned back to the bartender. “Thank you, Diane, those drinks were great.”

I waved goodbye to Diane as well, reading the “Amy” on her name tag with a smile.

I got him into the car slowly, and began driving him home.

“Hey, y/n?”

I hummed, waiting to hear what he was about to say. Chances are it would be something ridiculous, and I was all here for it.

“You’re really pretty. Have you ever been told that?”

I blushed, and prayed the dark car shadowed me enough for him not to see.

“A time or two. Thank you, Colt.”

He leaned the passenger seat back, and I thought for a moment that he would go to sleep.

“Where are you staying?”

He turned his head to me, and shrugged. “Can we just go to yours?”

I lifted my eyebrows in surprise. Colt Seavers, in my small temporary apartment that I was providing to stay in during the time we’d be filming. It wasn’t a mess since I’d only been staying in there for about two weeks, but it definitely wasn’t guest ready.

“Sure, why not?” I fumbled with my phone, pulling up my GPS app and getting directions to the apartment.

“Can I tell you something, y/n?”

I nodded slowly, ignoring the way my stomach felt when he said my name.

“I actually didn’t lose all of those hats.”

What?

I furrowed my eyebrows, whipping my head to look at him. “Then why’d you keep getting new ones from me?”

He hiccuped, smirking. “I just wanted an excuse to see you.”

If my face was a crimson shade before, it was a tomato now. I felt bad, like I was using Colt’s drunken state to get answers out of him.

“Did you like my song?” He looked over at me, waiting for my answer intensely.

My lips quirked up into a soft smile. “I did. ‘I Can’t Help Falling in Love With You’ is actually one of my favorite songs.”

This made him giddy. He giggled like a school girl, and then stiffened a laugh myself.

“I know.” Colt said under his breath.

So he did know.

“How’d you know?” I pressed Colt for answers. I knew that if he found out he’d told me any of this while drunk, he’d be mortified, but I just couldn’t help my curiosity.

“I heard you listening to it one day on set. I was outside of your tent, about to come in to tell you that I’d lost another hat, but I stopped and listened for a while. You were singing along, and you sounded so good. That’s why I wanted to sing a duet with you.”

At this point, I’m the color of a fire truck.

We pulled up to the apartment, and I unbuckled, getting out. I walked over to Colt’s door and opened it for him.

“Very chivalrous, thank you my lady.”

I giggled, helping his wobbly frame out of the car. “You’re welcome kind gentleman.”

We walked into the apartment building, making our way up a flight of stairs. Well, I made my way up them, Colt tripped over himself with each new stair until he made it to the top. At one point, he almost fell all the way down them, and dragged me down by my arm with him, but he managed to catch himself.

I brought him to my room, closing the door behind him. It was small, the kitchen and lounging room directly next to one another, separated by no wall. There was a door that led to the bedroom with a bathroom connected.

Walking into the kitchen, I grabbed a plastic cup form the cupboard and filled it with water. I handed it to Colt, who turned his nose up at it like I were trying to feed him poison.

“You have to drink water or you’ll regret it in the morning, Colt. You still have to go in for filming, remember?”

He sighed, taking the cup from me and drinking it all at once. “I’m starving.”

I thought for a moment about what he could possibly find to eat in the apartment. Nothing. I’d pretty much been eating take out since I arrived to Sydney.

“I’ll order a pizza.”

I pulled my wallet out of my purse on the kitchen counter. Colt shook his head, reaching in his pocket. “Don’t worry, I’ll pay.”

“You got the drinks, Colt, it’s fine.” I insisted, grabbing my card.

Colt handed me his entire wallet, “I wouldn’t be able to sleep knowing I made you pay for it.” his drowsy eyes said otherwise, “Please, just let me.”

I sighed, taking his wallet from him, “Thank you.” I said under my breath.

Colt only winked at me, lazily walking to the couch and plopping himself on it.

I ordered the pizza, assuming he liked pepperoni because who doesn’t like pepperoni?

I sat down beside him on the couch once I was finished. He was flipping through the different options on Netflix, his face was focused intently to find something.

Colt Seavers was on my couch. Well not necessarily my couch since the apartment was only being rented for me, but you get the point. We were on the couch together, tryin to find a movie to watch with pizza on the way. This realization made my cheeks feel hot once again.

“Here we go.” Colt chuckled as he clicked on the block buster film “Bad Cop, Good Dog” starring the one and only Tom Ryder.

“Get him off the screen, I might puke.” I giggled, attempting to grab the remote from him. Colt held it as far away as his much longer arms could manage, and I gave up.

“This is such a horrible film.” Colt told me, his eyes laser focused on the screen still.

“Then why are we watching it?”

Colt thought for a moment. “The way he talked to you the other day isn’t anything new. I’ve seen him talk to pretty much every one on every set we worked on together just like that. I just couldn’t always save them like I did you. It’s easy to think he’s some big, powerful guy, but in reality, he’s a pussy.”

I stayed silent for a moment. It felt nice, knowing that he still cared so deeply about the way Ryder had treated me.

“That’s nice and all, but it still doesn’t explain why exactly were watching this.”

Colt shrugged, “Oh, I just like making fun of him. We can watch something else if you want to.”

I snatched the remote from him, “Please.”

After a few more minutes of searching, I decided on the 1998 classic “The Parent Trap”.

“This movie never made any sense to me.” Colt crossed his arms as the movie started.

“Why?”

“Well, first off, what judge arranged this custody system? I mean seriously, how did both parents just up and leave with one kid?” He slurred so horribly that I had to fight a laugh as he spoke.

“It’s just a movie.” There are a few movies that I would defend with my life, this is definitely one of them.

“You can’t just use that as an excuse. Just because it’s a movie doesn’t mean it’s allowed to just defy all logic.”

“Colt,” I turned to face him, “You are working on a sci-if space cowboy movie with aliens. I think that makes the parent trap sound pretty reasonable.”

Colt chuckled, “Touché.”

My heart fluttered as I looked at Colt, lazily snuggled into my couch.

There was a knock at the door and I hopped up, walking through the kitchen and dodging Colt’s wallet, grabbing mine instead.

I paid for the pizza and brought it in, met with the sight of an extremely hungry Colt waiting impatiently at the counter.

“You didn’t use my wallet.”

I sighed, putting mine back in my purse. “I’m a big girl, I can pay for my own things.”

Colt shook his head. “You’re absolutely kicking my ass at the chivalry game.”

Grabbing a slice of pizza, I went back to the living room. Colt followed quickly behind me, and we got about one-fourth through the movie before I could tell Colt was getting extremely tired.

I got up, and went to my room, grabbing a blanket and a pillow.

“Here.” I handed them to him. Colt smiled up at me gratefully.

“Thanks.” He made himself comfortable, before leaning back and closing his eyes. The couch wasn’t very small, which was surprising since the apartment was so compact. This is why I didn’t feel bad about having him sleep on the couch. He didn’t complain either.

“Goodnight.” He mumbled, drifting off.

I smirked at him, walking to the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water to place beside the couch. I also grabbed the bathroom’s trash can. He was going to have a terrible hangover.

“Goodnight Colt.”

I had gotten a date with Colt Seavers for the small price of humiliating myself in a southern style for the rest of filming. I’d say that’s a pretty good deal.

Or maybe it wasn’t date and I was delusional, but Colt ended up sleeping on my couch, which is pretty sweet if you ask me.

[rnn11203]

How much do you think Demetrius/robin tried with Sebastian? I kinda see all the parents of stardew to be well meaning in a sense that i think they do truly love their children but they get swept up and do wrong due to their circumstances, resentment, and insecurity.

I think Pam loves Penny, but her addiction, raising penny on her own, losing her job… yk? All that pain turned into more pain, i think Pam knows penny has done far too much for her, but is too ashamed to fully realize it, so to cope she internalizes it and blames penny all over. Obsesses over her own sacrifices and her own pain and ends up neglecting her.

I think Jodi loves Sam and Vincent, but she also feels resentful, lamenting about a life not lived, she married young and now worries about a husband who is different from when he left. She’s afraid that Sam’s turned lazy, but also didnt want to repeat the wasted youth she missed out on too, she bottles her emotions and it creates anxiety for Sam specifically. Kent too, its interesting that Sam feels indifferent to his fathers return isnt it? All that lost time, strangers now, Sam had grown fine without him and perhaps this creates guilt for both of them.

I think Pierre and Caroline love Abigail, honestly, i dont think the “rumors” bother Pierre THAT much, i think sometimes he feels it, maybe after a particularly rough fight with either of his family members but i think he truly loves her, he’s her dad after all no matter who her father is. Caroline too, i think it’s just this unspoken thing for them, let the town gossip, they love their daughter. I dont think they understand her very well tho, and yk, she doesnt think they do either. Its one of those things where the more you try to understand, the less you hear. Abigails relationship with her parents reads more cliche teenager to me though, i headcanon that their relationships settle as she ages. I think Abigail would move out of the valley and travel frequently but i think shed make trips back to her family often. Mostly for holidays. I think Caroline specifically would still feel anxious and wish she didnt travel as much, but i think her and Pierre’s relationship gets better in the future too. (It’s funny, Pierre is one of the least popular characters but i actually really like him).

Which brings me to Sebastian, Robin, and Demetrius. Again with an unpopular opinion, when i first played, i really liked Demetrius. Although i did feel that robins side of the arguements were more “correct”.

I headcanon Sebastian’s age to be around 22-23~ while Maru’s is 18-19~. I also headcanon that Sebastians father simply just left while Seb was around 3~. Im curious to how others think him and robin met, im unsure if its ever mentioned in game but honestly i think they met due to work. Demetrius has stated that he studies the local flora and fauna and Robin is a carpenter, i imagine she has a lot of knowledge about pelican towns native plants and animals. I think they were smitten, i can see robin liking Demetrius more nerdy/dorky behavior and robins stern, playful, spitfire personality has captured the hearts of many players after all.

Sebastian comes off as a Velcro kid to me, i think he’d be a huge mamas boy and feel almost threatened by Demetrius. I think robin and Demetrius would marry quickly, and honestly i think Maru was a planned pregnancy, I think robin wanted to give Sebastian a sibling so he’d be less lonely, and i think they’d figure that bonding would happen easier if they were closer in age. I see this being very upsetting to Sebastian, i think he’d see his father once in a while but when hes around 12-13 it’s just.. silence.

Honestly, i think Demetrius would try really hard to bond with Sebastian. But once Maru came along both him and robin were just.. busy. I think Demetrius would unfortunately think “wow this is my first child!” And it alienated Sebastian. I think Sebastian feels abandoned. Replaced. Unwelcome. Which is why he struggles with opening up to others and prefers being alone.

Unfortunately i think robin and Demetrius would just think Sebastian was a more difficult child and that Maru was an easier baby. I think this would embarrass Sebastian and shame him, i dont think they ever meant anything by it but i do think Sebastian was a fussy child who wanted to be soothed. But after their comments, he’d isolate himself so that he too, would be an “easier” child for them. As Sebastian ages i think robin would feel she didnt do enough for him, i think she worries about him often but almost feels like it’s “too late”. I think eventually Sebastian would come to resent and feel mistreated by all his parents and as his behavior worsened, he’d get compared to Maru even more, furthering the resentment and pain he feels. I do think he’d be a meaner older brother though, causing Demetrius to be more protective over Maru causing stronger feelings of “you’re not my dad!” And etc…. Can you tell im sleepy yet?

TLDR: i think they would try their best but ultimately end up sidelining him, causing him to act out more until he just didnt care anymore.

[shallowseeker]

"Sam knows some."

Also, Sam is afraid of grief, part 99 million.

Sam knows some. (And usually, not enough.)

He doesn't always notice emotional stuff on his own—not unless it’s a puzzle he can piece together from someone’s actions, or a situation he can map onto his own experience. His empathy is a pragmatic, lived-in, experience-driven thing. He’s spent most of his life at the kids’ table, even when he was trying not to be, and his own needs and (in)stability are tragically often the center of a very small, very dry family desert with too little resources and few loved ones. And like Dean sometimes wants Cas to be fine and invincible just so he doesn’t have to worry, Sam does too. In Sam's eyes, Cas is often the invincible, unkillable hero who always comes back no matter what. He gets up even when he fails. Even when he goes crazy, he pull himself back together, (and quicker than Sam would've at that).

Most importantly... Even when Cas's dead, he doesn't die.

//

In 10x01, Cas is desperately holding his coughs in, and pulls away from the phone to cough, but one of them slips through the receiver:

SAM: The first lead, the first anything we've seen in... [Sam stops himself, hearing CASTIEL's nonstop coughing] 10x01

And yes, in this scene, Sam accidentally throws some passive-aggressive shade about his arm. He’s a friggin' whiner—but overall, he changes his tune the second he hears Cas cough.

His eyes do the panicky back-and-forth tracky thing, and his excitement dies on the spot.

SAM: [after listening] Actually...you know what... now that I'm looking at this more I think I uh...I think I jumped the gun here, buddy. [...] I'm not, I'm not blaming anything on you. What happened, happened, and... you need to be worrying about yourself. I really shouldn't have bothered you. 10x01

But goshdarnit, if there’s something Sam usually isn’t, it’s thoughtful.

He could have invited Cas to the bunker—but the bunker, in Sam’s mind, is work, not a home. So giving Cas "time off" to "rest" and "worry about himself" feels like enough. It’s a bit like how he and Dean treated Bobby sometimes. Sam’s got terminal kids-table-syndrome, with a three-course side dish of self-involvement, tunnel vision, and obliviousness. He is, in short, so emotionally stupid sometimes that it's almost-but-not-quite endearing.

(SEE Jody and Dean in 11x12: Dean undersells his own connection-making ability / empathy... and oversells Sam's.)

///

In 10x02, Sam calls Cas because, really, Cas is one of the only people he has left in his life. They're short on family, short on friends. (And important to note, even the people they saved aren't around to ask for scraps—because Crowley killed off a whole slew of them in season 8.) So Sam's turning to Cas, even when Cas is sick, like how he (and Dean) so often relied on Bobby, even when Bobby was actively suicidal / soul-crunched into his own demon deal / freshly getting used to his wheelchair.

SAM: Right. Now, Cas, listen. I know you're not feeling so hot, but this is kind of an “all hands on deck” situation here, so... CASTIEL: So... I'll meet you there. 10x02

[...]

So, yeah. I seriously doubt Sam knows the full scope of how bad the grace situation is. (Not saying he wouldn't rationalize it if he did, since he's a pragmatic guy. But fair's fair. He doesn't fully know here...)

HANNAH: I’m sorry. I just can’t see how Sam Winchester could ask you to drive all this way to help with his brother, knowing your condition. [Castiel glances at Hannah, then turns back to the road.] HANNAH: He doesn’t know … about how badly your borrowed grace is fading, does he? CASTIEL: He knows some. 10x03

And there it is. Cas is being purposely cagey.

AS USUAL.

Yes, Sam is sometimes oblivious, but part of this whole dynamic is that Cas is notoriously super weird about showing weakness.

Anyway, I’d bet my Monopoly dog piece that Cas intentionally stayed away from the bunker in his downtime, trying to recover as much as possible in order to sure up enough energy to pretend to be strong.

Cas tells Hannah he wants to "say he's fine" so they can "avoid talking about something" no one can do anything about.

Uh-huh.

BONUS SIDE NOTE: Cas also told Hannah he doesn't want help, from his family or anyone else, because the only way to help him is not one he wants to pursue. (Another reason he's keeping it to himself.)

CASTIEL [lashing out]: And another angel should die so that I can be saved?! Is this really that hard to understand? Hannah... 10x01

///

Interestingly, though, Dean noticed Cas wasn't fine (re: batteries) back in season 9.

While it's true that Dean absolutely leaned into a sort-of endearing "Bobby-will-always-be-fine" dynamic, and perhaps clung to an invincible-Cas-hope early in their relationship, in the later years, it evolves.

Despite the occasional flash of hero worship (i.e. thinking Cas could time travel in s11), mostly Dean no longer believes that Cas will be fine...

...he just HOPES he will be.

(SIDE NOTE: In a hilarious full circle, Bobby ALSO expects a lot of Cas... Around and around we go!)

CAS: I'm fine, Dean. DEAN: No, you're not. How long you got? CAS: Long enough to destroy Metatron, I hope. 9x22

///

Anyway, it’s a massive difference with Sam, even in the terminal seasons. Sam has flashes of fear surrounding Cas’s death, but he really, really struggles to process it. MOSTLY, he dissociates, throws himself into work, and refuses to face it.

(Kinda like how he rushes into the Eileen relationship in early s15 as a way to sidestep processing Mary, Jack, and Rowena.)

But unlike Dean, who grows into accepting and even fearing for Cas���s mortality, Sam seems to almost truly believe the line, "Cas will be fine. He always is."

(Cas HAS to be fine in order for DEAN to be fine, you see...)

Strongest person I know!

I think the season 12 script cut line of Sam saying this

and this

is genuine.

12x10 via @spnscripthunt-inactive

Because later, when Cas actually does die, Sam really doesn't believe his own eyes. He keeps asking Dean for confirmation. He looks, and he backs away, not believing, then bolts to address the next mission-oriented thing.

No-way, no-how running boy~~~~

And later:

//

BONUS: Sam & Jack ("Cas'll FIX things!!!")

SAM TO CAS (about dead Jack): Cas, is he here? C-C-Can you-- Can you...?

(fix him?)

SEE also Sam vs grief with it comes to Dean-losing-Cas specifically.

x - x - x -x - x

Here's Sam realizing there's nothing he can do to ease Dean's grief about Cas, specifically, in the notorious Sam-freaks-out-and-is-bad-at-support 13x05... and 15x09 fake future, complete with with Sam’s beautiful jaw-wag of disbelief and panic-tracking eyes:

Look at him, the poor dude. He's TERRIFIED.

///

It's scary that Dean or Cas could die

Cas and Dean aren't just his family—they're his heroes He chafes at the thought of their mortality. It sends him into a tailspin every time.

CHUCK: No, this is more. This is...hope. Ah. That's what's stopping me – you. You still think that Dean and Cas are gonna fly through those doors just in the nick of time. 

(SEE ALSO: Sam and deciding not to smash the orb)

//

He really does expect them to charge in and be unstoppable

Like this x

Or

or this

Everything is gonna be fine... right?

///

...

And later still:

JACK: You can't just give up! SAM: What choice do we have?

[ssaalexblake]

And the concept of 13 'not being allowed to shout and scream' is so funny like.. I'm not a shouty person, am I deprived of shouting like it's some kind of Right and I'm missing out on all that Amazing yelling I could be doing?

You all get that this is absolutely nuts, right? You sound like those people who take absolute umbridge at asexual people existing and trying to convince them and everybody else that they're missing out on some vital part of life when they are Really Not.

Except you're talking about shouting. Which is actually more absurd than the above example, somehow.

Writing a character who doesn't scream at people when they're angry is not bad writing, and I can't even fathom what whacked POV you're approaching this from to think that it is.

And what gets me is that so many people decide to go 'oh Jodie was so good it's a shame about the writing not letting her let loose' is that She acted Thirteen growling and having a low pitched voice when she's mad. She acted Thirteen as throwing on a smile while she said vaguely insulting things because she was annoyed. Jodie did that, not anybody else. She made those acting choices where it would have been reasonable at some moments to choose raising her voice instead.

Jodie acted this, you Are slamming her while making it look better to Tumblr fandom by blaming a man for it.

And it's all absurd bc Jodie, at least, recognises that not everybody screams when they get mad and that nothing wrong ever happened here at all for somebody to take blame for.

(p.s. if it's 'all the other doctors Got To Yell' I'd like to have some words about classic who with y'all)

[stusbunker]

Spotless: Larghetto

Chapter Thirty

Featuring: Dean Winchester/Reader, Dean/Bela

Other characters: Gibson child OMC, Lee, Sam, Pamela

Word Count: 3310

Warnings, etc: Mutual pining, angsty af flashback, Dean does Uncle things, apologizes, and makes up his mind-ish, still unbeta'd

Shout out to @lastactiontricia for her help talking me through this one

Series Masterlist

The moment Dean's ass hit his seat on the Proud Mary the following afternoon, it all clicked into place. They were back on the road. The apology tour was in full swing. Okay, no one actually called it that, but it was essentially that. Something settled inside him with the realization, his ribcage was suddenly spacious from the lack of shrapnel. Dean took a deep breath to adjust for the extra room.

Huh.

The rest of the band found their usual books and Kevin waited patiently until everyone seemed settled before he plopped down on the aisle seat a row ahead of Dean. 

The last ones on the bus were Gibson and Bobby, who no doubt was running the kid around the venue to burn off some of that unquenchable energy only children possess. 

“Alright, Gibby go find your daddy! I've got a bus to steer,” Bobby sent him off simply, before turning to the rest of them. “Everybody ready?”

“Sound off,” Pamela bellowed to make sure everyone who had to be there was there.

“Gibson?”

The little dude giggled at being first. “Here!”

Bobby smiled as much as he ever did and turned to the other side of the bus.

“Kid?”

“Present!” Kevin replied.

“And Dean's here I made sure of that already,” Bobby muttered, not letting Dean off the hook for yesterday so soon. Dean tried not to look too put out by it; he deserved worse. Everyone else sniggered and oo’ed at the burn. 

Bobby’s attention slid further back, eyeing people as he said their names. “Sam?”

He didn’t say anything, but Dean was pretty sure he caught Sam raising his hand in his periphery.

“Pam’s got her ducks in a row, I see. Trouble, you good, darlin’?”

“All good, Bobby,” you said somewhere in the back.

Dean tuned out the rest of the roll call, knowing between both buses everyone would be accounted for, scratch that the three buses now with Jodi and Donna’s crew. Hearing your voice reminded Dean that he still owed you an apology for his disappearing act. And to say he was nervous about it was an understatement, because he didn’t think he could tell you what actually set him off, not outright.

It wasn’t your fault, or Victor’s for that matter. But there was no way it came out without sounding like he was placing the blame elsewhere. No, it would be better to keep it short and cut his losses. Less is more and all that.

By the time he made up his mind to get it over with, the bus lurched forward into traffic and Dean knew better than to go walking around until they were on the interstate. As big as the thing was, standing while it kept stopping and starting could make even the most seasoned traveler queasy. So he stayed put and put on his headphones to let the familiar sensations distract him as he waited.

Before he knew it, Dean had nodded off.

April 2017

The curtains of his hotel room were pulled open and Dean groaned against the assault of daylight against his hangover.

“Bus is leaving in a half-hour. Get in the shower or I’ll get Sam to make you,” you didn’t beat around the bush.

Dean didn’t open his eyes. He felt you moving around the room, tidying while he stretched, yet remained stubbornly in bed. He had never had a handler, except for major events like public album releases. Your dotting made him feel important. Like he was above you, higher up than just from being part of the band that employed you. His festering ego drank in the servitude. 

His knuckles popped as he flexed his fingers, broken skin stinging as it stretched wide. He did not want to move. He wanted to see how far his skin could split and still stitch itself back together.

“I don’t know how you managed to make a hotel room smell so bad in less than two days, but I do not envy the cleaning crew,” you muttered as you shoved his dirty clothes into his duffel. “Dean!”

“What?!”

“Get up!”

“Fuck off.” Dean rolled over and cradled a pillow under his aching head.

Suddenly he was dragged down the bed, the comforter pulling him with it until he rocked onto his side and all of the bedding slid off his naked body and onto the floor.

A strangled sound came out of your mouth, an angry cousin of a gasp. “What the—- where did all those bruises come from?”

“Yeah, cuz that’s what you’re looking at,” Dean snipped, hauling himself upright, unfazed by the horror on your face. After a few moments of not meeting your eye, he couldn’t take your gawking sympathy any longer. It all made his skin itch. “I’m up! That’s what you wanted, right? Now you can go.”

Immediately he saw you fold, tuck away all that natural concern, and put on your business face. “If you’re not downstairs in fifteen minutes, I’m sending Sam AND Bobby to get you. And if that doesn’t work? I’m sending Pamela.”

Dean rolled his eyes and dragged his ass to sit on the edge of the bed.

“How’d you even get in? Jesus!”

That was the wrong question to ask. You stomped past him and made a show of swinging a very broken hotel room door back and forth. “How do you think I got in?! How’d the lock break, Dean? Hmm? Was it the cops or just security crashing the little mosh-pit-orgy combo you had up here last night?”

It was him. He kicked in the door because he couldn’t find his key. The girls he had picked up from the afterparty were starting to whine. And he really just needed the night to be over, but his damn thoughts wouldn’t shut up. So, he figured if he got his dick wet enough his downstairs brain would override all of that.

He told you none of this.

But by the smell, the mess, and the used condoms, you had figured out enough.

Oh, and by his bare ass, that too.

Dean stood up and blocked you from getting further into the suite again.

“Get out of my fucking room you fucking groupie! I swear to god I’ll call security. Send Sam, hell, send Bobby! I fucking dare you! They won’t care what you say. You little narc. I know how to do my job, maybe you should remember what yours is and stop shoving your nose in everybody else’s business. Christ!”

Dean had never seen hurt like that flash in your eyes, but it only added to his twisted vindictiveness. The rotten truth that he didn’t deserve you looking after him paired with the insurmountable belief that he could do it all on his own anyway had him continuing to push you away.

“Why don’t you go find somebody who gives a damn, huh? Cuz none of us need your sorry ass around, Trouble. I mean it. You're just a charity case for the band. Even Cas.”

You inhaled through your nose. Dean watched you darkly, waiting for the waterworks. You didn’t give him the satisfaction.

You plastered on a company smile. “Now you’ve only got ten minutes, Mr. Winchester. It’s a good thing you’re already undressed for that shower, isn’t it?” 

Dean watched as you stormed down the hall and jabbed the call button for the elevator. Before you could look back to see if he was doing what he was told, Dean slammed the broken door closed, forgetting the jagged frame, and watched helplessly as it simply bounced back at him.

Thankfully, the bathroom door still worked.

Dean’s nap was short lived. Instead, he silently berated himself for saving your apology for last. Though to keep from putting it off, he told himself it would only get better once he actually got it over with. Call that progress. He stared at the seat back in front of him and willed himself to move.

The thing about going to therapy and putting in the work, Dean now knew why he did a lot of the things he did. But that didn’t make any of the accountability easier.

   Dean hauled himself up and waited a beat for his bus legs to come back to him. He grunted as he stretched and glanced around the bus. Kevin had his head down and his arms crossed over his chest, while his massive headphones kept Dean from knowing if he was sleeping or just lost in sound. Annie was dozing draped over two seats on the other side of the space that was far too wide to be considered an aisle.

Dean leaned over and flicked Sam’s topknot because he could. Which earned him the finger, but the easy annoyance supplied him with just enough ease to let a grin slip onto his face. He spotted Lee and Gibson at the kitchen table playing cards.

“Playing Kings on the Corner if you’re up for it?” Lee mentioned as he shuffled. 

“Pssh! Gibson, I would have thought you’d be running a Blackjack table by now. Let’s put some money down,” Dean teased as he approached. That was when he spotted you with your nose in a paperback, sharing a row with an eye masked Pamela. 

“Trouble! Why don’t you get in on this game, huh? I’m sure—.” Dean bent over to read the cover. “I’m sure Hoover, the writer, not the vacuum, wouldn’t mind if you took a breather. It’s for a good cause! That being Gibson’s college fund,” he trailed off.

Lee just smirked at him.

God, he felt so obvious.

“Does Gibson even want me to play?” you said knowingly.

“Sure does, don’cha, buddy?!” Lee swooped in and helped Dean save face.

Gibson knew when to lay it on thick. “Please?! It’s better with four people!” 

Dean’s chest thrummed with the look you gave his surrogate nephew, equally attentive, exasperated, and amused. 

“Is that so?” you asked, waiting to hear out a six-year-old’s reasons.

“Yeah, cuz it’s Kings on the Corner. And there’s four corners,” Gibson summarized beautifully, pointing to each spot someone could fit around the table.

Dean looked at you and shrugged. Who could argue with that logic? You held Dean’s gaze and smiled secretly, so as not to let Gibson think you were laughing at him. Which made Dean feel warm, and so very grateful that he could still share that kind of smile with you. 

You set your book down and Dean eased into the bench seat to make room for you. “And how is this helping Gibson’s college fund exactly?”

Dean ducked his head. “Well, not THIS game, but I was thinking, uh, maybe after a few rounds we put a little cash on the table. A little five card stud or blackjack maybe?”

Lee chuckled. “Gonna let him have the real tour bus experience?”

Gibson worked on shuffling the cards as the adults held their breaths over that clearly downplayed idea of what goes on on tour, especially on the bus in question. God, Dean was gonna crack at any moment, between the warning in Lee’s eyes and the mischief in yours.

You rolled your eyes and cleared your throat. “Need help?” you asked the now struggling child with hands too small for a proper bridge shuffle.

“Eh, he’s doing alright.” Dean exhaled, letting the adult humor fade out of the conversation naturally.

“Yeah, I got it,” Gibson agreed, tapping the edges to get the cards to line up smoothly.

You all made it through three hands of Kings on the Corner before switching to a very mild game of BlackJack. Dean took the pot of a cool fifty bucks from Lee just as Bobby pulled up to their next hotel. He helped Gibson clean up and put the deck of cards back in a basket the band kept underneath the bench seat along with a few other games and puzzle books.

Pamela, still groggy from her nap, called Gibson over to grab his backpack as everyone started gathering their things to check in. Dean ruffled his dark hair and thanked him for a good game as he passed by you both.

“That was fun— he’s such a trip,” you said fondly.

“Yeah, ‘s probably my favorite kid ever. Way less of a whiner than Sam ever was,” Dean agreed. 

“I should probably get my shit together,” you said, clearly not in a rush to move.

“Yeah— it’s not like the hotel is going anywhere.” Dean just needed to get this over with. “Hey, listen, about yesterday—.”

“Yeah what was that, mister?!” you tried to keep it light, but something in the tone of your voice told him it was a bigger deal than you were putting on.

“I’m sorry. I just—.” Dean wiped his hand down his mouth and thought about how he was going to explain himself. “I had to work through some negative energy. I should have told somebody where I was going and that I was okay— I just saw red and needed to move before I did something stupid.”

You listened, clearly worried, but didn’t press him for more than he wanted to give. “Is everything alright now? I mean, the show was great— nobody would have known.”

Dean thought back to the show the night before, so much came to mind, but also hundreds of shows before it filtered in to muddle the fresh memories. “I’m good. And next time I need to take a breather I’ll let somebody know so I don’t freak anybody out. I know better— that was all on me.”

“If you’re sure—”

Dean knocked your shoulder with his. “I’m sure. Thanks for lookin’ out. It means a lot.”

“Of course!” Your brow furled like he was an idiot to expect otherwise. 

Maybe he was.

He definitely didn’t want you asking more into it. He glanced around the bus, half the band had already cleared out, but Bobby was still helping Annie get her bags together before they’d head inside to confirm all of the reservations.

“I guess we better scoot before they lock up.” Dean stood hunched over, waiting for you to let him out of his spot.

“Yeah, god I hope I’m by the elevator this time. My legs feel like cement blocks today,” you confided, slowly getting up and letting Dean stand to his full height.

“You were rocking some serious heels last night—- your knee isn’t acting up is it?”

You glanced at him with a curious tilt to your head, walking back to tuck your book in your messenger bag. “You saw my boots? Why— Um, no, knee’s fine. Well, as good as it ever is.”

Dean burned as he realized he had admitted to checking out your legs, which really was the least of his recent sins, but still shouldn’t have slipped out. “Oh, okay— that’s good. I just know some docs in Vegas if you needed some pain relief or needed it looked at—- or anything.”

 You shrugged your bag onto your shoulder and grabbed your phone from the ledge by the window. “I’ll keep that in mind. Hopefully I won’t need it though.”

“Right.” Dean exhaled and stepped back to let you head to the bus doors.

Before Dean could even remember to grab his own stuff, a gruff voice broke through his brain fog. “Real smooth.”

He spun to see Sam smirking at him beneath his stupid hair and oversized headphones. “Shut up, bitch.”

“After you, jerk.”

The next afternoon, Dean had Gibson on his back as they made a mad dash for the bathroom in the Children’s Zoo area at the San Diego Zoo.

“Excuse us, emergency,” Dean said as he dodged through the crowd of strangers and more strollers than he could count. Didn’t these people have something better to do on a work day?!

“Uncle Dean?” Gibson sounded worried.

“Almost there, little man,” Dean reassured. He was the one who had stuffed the kid full of slushies and cotton candy, so he said he’d be the one to make sure he didn’t have any accidents or stains on his clothes.

He might live to regret that promise.

Finally they rounded a corner and Dean spotted the little peg people and an arrow towards a set of doors. The family bathroom was locked when he tried to yank it open. He grunted and bent down to set Gibson down.

“Alright men’s room, this way—- told ya we’d make it,” Dean ushered Gibson inside and followed to guard him while he did his business and make sure he washed his damn hands. They were heading to the Safari park next and he didn’t not want to worry about letting the little gremlin sit on his lap with bathroom germs all over him.

“Okay! Let’s go find Uncle Sam and your mom, huh?”

“Do we have to?” Gibson whined.

Dean chuckled. “Come on, they’re not that bad!”

“Uncle Sam keeps reading to me about the animals and Mom just wants to pose for selfies with the mama and baby animals.”

“So?! At least they like hanging out with you! Could be a lot worse,” Dean suggested, directing Gibson through the crowd with a hand between his little shoulder blades. He tried to remember if his dad had ever taken him or Sam to a zoo, but all that came to mind was his mother chaperoning a field trip to a pumpkin farm once upon a time before Bush Sr. had taken office.

The Safari Park was pretty cool. Dean got stopped by a couple of employees for selfies before they were through the line for the jeeps. But they made up for it with letting them skip to the front. There was also the few minutes he had to hold Gibson’s head away when they happened upon a rhino trying to mount a female. The thing’s dick was longer than Dean’s arm.

“It’s okay, Sammy,” Dean placated. “Anybody’s gonna have an inferiority complex compared to that. Not me, but anybody else.”

“Bite me, Dean,” Sam muttered, remembering not to swear in front of the kid.

Dean cackled as Gibson huffed in boredom.

The day was just what Dean needed after the extreme highs and lows of the weekend, relaxing with low stakes. They grabbed a late lunch at a deli down the street from the hotel and made plans for the Midway Museum the following day, after Dean’s therapy call. He wondered if you’d be able to join in on the fun. Bobby had gotten the tickets, so Dean guessed you wouldn’t have any conference calls either. Or he hoped.

Dean really didn’t know what to say to that. Bela had been prickly early on during the last afterparty, but neither you nor she had said anything that gave him any idea what was going on between you two.

And he wasn’t sure he wanted to get in the middle now.

But Bela wouldn’t have said something unless she was genuinely worried about you. Or about your friendship at least. Dean sighed and said he would tell you to call her. He just didn’t specify WHEN was all.

He got a couple of hearts and a ‘thank you’ text back.

Dean couldn’t help but feel like this was backwards. His loyalty wasn’t with Bela, especially not when it came to you versus her. And unless the next few shows bombed, he didn’t think there was any reason to keep playing pretend. He was back. The band was thriving, as the kids said, and he was completely in love with someone else.

So, yeah, Dean might check in and see if you were pissed at Bela. But he sure as hell wasn’t going to do anything more than that. Unless you needed him to.

Tagging:

@deans-spinster-witch

@mrswhozeewhatsis

@cosicas-cuquis

@fics-pics-andotherthings-i-like

@suckitands33

@ladysparkles78

@deans-baby-momma

@stoneyggirl2

@sassy-pelican

@leigh70

@globetrotter28

@winharry

@lastactiontricia

@rockhoochie

@brightlilith

@coldhearted93

@djs8891

@beautiful-places-blog

@n-o-p-e-never

Chapter 31: Ziehen

[heimeldat]

well that was a hell of a roller coaster.

Hi Anita!

oh it resets? ok. I can go with that. I get the Rani's plan, that's fine.

They remember that the Rani is Science Lady yayyyyy! I liked Mel's line about the whole universe being an experiment to her.

People remember but.... Belindra is still acting like a housewife? I mean if she remembers being Poppy's mum it makes sense for her kid to be her first priority but that doesn't mean she'd act this out of character.

Explicit confirmation that Time Lords are infertile AAAAAAAAH are they -- are they about to actually canonize Looms?

Ah, not quite. Still, I appreciate the nod in that direction.

Zero Room hiiiii! But also Belinda is just nobody right now?

I love how excited the Doctor is about being a parent. Look, a plot the show has never done before! He's filled so many fatherly roles but the idea of him actually raising a kid on the TARDIS is intriguing... I have a feeling RTD doesn't have the guts to follow through with it though.

Crap that's not Omega it's... a giant with fangs... oh please please let it be an Yssgaroth...

Oh it's just stupid. And it just... ate the Rani. Talk about an anticlimax.

Banishing it with a macguffin gun. Great. Woo hoo.

Ok I'll admit I squeaked with excitement when Poppy was still there in the Zero Room. Are they actually going to follow through?

But wtf is wrong with Belinda? They're all supposed to remember now, why is she still acting like a lovey dovey housewife? Apparently having a child gave her a character transplant? That's not Belinda.

Ah dang it they didn't follow through. I was really starting to think they were going to be daring and try a completely new plot with a baby on board. But Belinda is still acting so wrong, so I can't blame her character shift on lingering wish effects, just bad writing grrrr.

JODIE!?!?!?!?!? HIIIIIIII!

Ok he's really going through with it I didn't realize this was a regen episode. Whyyyyy would you do that to us when we've barely had any time with Fifteen????

So Poppy still exists but isn't his, awww. The safest ending they could manage. At least Belinda is back to wanting to get home, but wow Doctor, rewriting Bel's entire life just to make Poppy exist again, huh? I mean, that clearly wasn't his intention, it's not like he had any control over the details, but ouch. I guess if one attempt to shift the timeline was enough to crack the vortex, trying again would have been even worse...

The fuck. Billie Piper? Seriously? Why RTD? Fuck this I'm going to read some VNAs.

[lovesickf-fics]

No homo, bro

tw : light swearing, mentions of past masterbation, making out, masterbating together, cumming, voyeurism(?)

Ship mentioned : Sambastian (sam x sebastian) Stardew Valley

Summary : neither can sleep so they fool around instead

It starts at midnight, Sebastian cant sleep - nightmares again and yet the idea of leaving his room to explore the caves or go for a ride on his motorcycle

He's about to log into his computer when his phone lights up, he was ready to ignore it, expecting it to be a ping from one of his clients for coding, but it wasn't. It was Sam, saying he was bored and couldnt sleep.

Sebastian can't help but enjoy the coincidence as he gets himself ready to meet up with Sam. It wouldn't be the first time he's snuck in through the window, and it probably won't be the last.

It's an easy walk down the mountains, and while it is cold out, it's nothing he isn't used to and so when he makes it down to the blue house and knocks on the window, making sure not to step on Jodi's flowers, the blond hair appears immediately and with a small tug of his arm hes helped through into the familiar room.

Sam gives him a smile and shuts the window again, leaving it open wakes Jodi up - they've done this enough times to know and yet the first thing sam asks

"You didn't step or kick on the flowers right? y'know how my mum gets and vincent will end up being blamed-"

"Yes dude. I stayed off the flowers, relax, what are you up so late for anyways"

Sebastian interrupts him with ease, and all Sam can do is blush a little and lift his notebook.

Clearly song writing had kept him up, For weeks now Sam had been pondering between a few options and by the look on his face he still hadn't chosen.

Sam begins to talk, probably about the same thing he's spoken about since he came up with the ideas and then immediately after got indecisive, but all Sebastian can think about is how his lips move and how he was actually kind of cute when he blushed and oh fuck he hasn't listened to a word Sam has said in the last five minutes.

"Uhm- Seb you good?"

All Sebastian can do is nod, praying the flood of blood to his face in embarrassment is enough to distract his body from the blood rushing to his cock.

The way sam looks at him clearly shows he's not nodded at his question and now he probably looks very stupid

"Seb? bro? do i need to get you some water or something?"

Finally Sebastian shakes his head, seeming very lost and probably very stupid at this point, but suddenly Sam points at him

"Dude- youre uh- up?"

Sebastian wants to groan, its almost embarrassing how easily Sam recognises it and calls him out on it

Sam laughs at him for a moment and then simply pats the bed for him to sit, following the action Sebastian does and with that theyre both sat on the bed, Sam near the bottom and Sebastian against the headboard

He looks at Sebastian quizzically and then simply asks

"What do you do normally- to yknow get off?"

Sebastian flushes, and hes sure his voice is suddenly higher and faster than it was moments before

"Yoba! i dont know- i think and touch and then y'know you finish"

Sam laughs at him, embarrassing him more and suddenly the room is too hot, Sebastian shuffles awkwardly across from him, and the next thing theyre doing is losing clothes, tshirts, loosened trousers and boxers bulging more than before

Sebastian cant help but stare, Sam is so hot. It was common sense that he was attractive but like this? it's something else, something more.

If you asked either of them, neither of them would be able to tell you how it started. They kissed. It was awkward and messy, and any doubt they had were washed away

Hands quickly wander, and suddenly boxers are tight around thighs, and both of them are panting. They pull back, faces red and embarrassed, both of them take eachother in, eyes wandering.

Sebastian's hands move to his cock, and he groans, its red and he's been hard longer than he'd like to admit.

When he opens his eyes he sees Sam following his lead, Sam does it differently from him instead of focusing near his tip, his grip is tight and he moves it up and down in a pattern his horny brain can hardly comprehend

He tries to copy it, lowering his hand closer to the base and choking it in a tighter grip than he's used to, moving it with his eyes on Sam's own, it's thicker than his and he didnt see it grow, the thought makes him move his fist a little faster.

Both of them move their fists, only pausing to watch the other or to spit down onto themselves. The room fills with wet sounds, small pants, and low groans.

Sebastian gets overwhelmed, and the tightness and pace are sending him over the edge quicker than before. His tip feels so sensitive, but he's almost too obsessed with this feeling to chase that. Sam's eyes on him make him want to cum, they make him want to be good and thats something he hadnt felt before, watching Sam is making him feel hornier than whenever he gets off in his room.

Sam looks like he's close too, his mouth is open, his face is red and his cock looks rubbed raw in a way that makes Sebastians mouth go dry

Sebastian cums first, spurts pouring over his fist, it makes his thighs shake with the wash of pleasure, it's something stronger than his usual orgasms and he makes sure to remember how he done it

He watches now, eyes focused soley on Sam watching as he speeds up, the sounds louder now that he's quiet and when Sam cums he can almost feel his cock get a wave of need for more

Sam cums in a similar fashion, spurting over his fist, up towards his stomach, the cum covering his hand and making a little patch of wet in his yellow tshirt.

They stare at eachother, blushing and panting, until they laugh, they can't stop laughing until both of them can barely breathe

"We have to do that again sometime"

"Sure Sam, text me when you cant sleep?"

"Of course! no homo, bro"

[laswells-ashtray]

John doesn't feel bad about things on the job anymore, if you feel guilt about every little thing then it'll consume you eventually. He's doing what he has to in order to ensure the safety of the masses, people get injured, and people die. It happens.

The one thing that eats at him is what happened with Kate when she got picked up by AQ forces. It's different, it's Kate. His Laswell who invited him home to meet her wife and was nervous about it because she cared about his opinion. The closest thing he has to actual family, her wife jokes about him being their cat's uncle. And she got taken while providing recon for him. To everyone else she's Laswell. To him, she's Kate who gets drunk and rants about how attractive she finds Jodie Foster.

And she holds nothing against him for it, what could he have done? Things like that happen on the job and he came after her like she knew he would but any time it gets brought up it makes him feel nauseous with the sheer amount of blame he feels.

It takes them both getting drunk at Kate's one night, her wife is away visiting family and the two of them have tossed on a movie in the background as they talk when they finally get around to it. And Kate says it, "I knew you'd get me home to Sarah one way or another."

"Don't-"

"No, John, listen. I knew you'd bring me home. Alive or not you'd get me home and that was all that mattered."

"But-"

"Besides, I had no use for you in the end."

"Don't even fucking joke about that. I'm trying to shoot the cunt and you snap his bloody neck. Bet Sarah liked hearing about that one."

"That she did."