#bofa… who

[mortal-kingss]

she spiral on my distortion

[unx100to]

i sob everytime i remember the fact that i went to the ONE preseason game my boyfriend was benched in 😞💔

[leatherbookmark]

i saw lotr books with that amazon show inspired covers. i crave violence

[blu-ish]

Is it just me or would Sonic tell the cast of characters “bofa” and “Candace” and “ligma” jokes?

and like all of the would fall for it at least once??

idk

just spit ballin here

based on a interaction with a irl friend who has to deal with my shid 💖

[toriel-2]

getting someone to ask "whats bofa" is the closest you'll ever get to the feeling of a vampire who's just been invited into a fresh victim's home

[eldritch-spouse]

I think dating Breg would be hilarious because he would fall for deez nuts jokes every. Single. Time.

“Breg, stop that. You’re gonna get Ligma”

“What’s Ligma”

“😈😈😈”

[PERFECT.]

Breg hears you knocking at the bedroom door and huddles closer to the wall, groaning.

" C'mon Breg, you're overreacting... "

" No! Leave me alone! " He snaps. " I'm not going to fall for any more of your ligmas or sugmas or bofas- I've had it! "

There's a beat of silence, the breeder almost feels bad for raising his voice at you, but these last couple of days have been nothing short of insufferable, as you've trapped the monster into non-stop raunchy jokes. He can't even have a single normal conversation with you.

" Listen... " You start, with a calmer tone. Breg remains quiet. " I know how you feel. I've taken advantage of your lack of cultural knowledge and I'm abusing it. I've taken this joke too far Breg, I broke your trust and I'm sorry. " There's a sigh.

He perks up a little at that, softening. " It's alright, I forgive you... "

" But you need to come out now. I really want to introduce you to my friend, Wilma. "

" Who's Wilm- "

" WILMA NUTS FIT IN YO MOUTH? "

[zootopiathingz]

Angel: it’s sad that Ronald Regan died without knowing about bofa.

Charlie: who is Ronald Regan—

Angel: bofa deez nuts!

[girlfoxcock]

Hi this is your UNSC commands officer, were going through cut backs on the spartan program and you need to select one of your fire team for dishonorable discharge into space.

Thanks

Your UNSC CO

i nominate spartan bofa. now please ask who that is or else this joke won’t work 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂 thank you

[heartsoji]

UM HI IM NOT RLLY SURE IF U TAKE REQUESRS SO IF U DONT U CAN IGNORE THIS.,,

hear me out, KENMA and RINTARO nd NISHINOYA x reader that turns any comment they make dirty 😭 (and a lot of deez nuts jokes bc idc that ppl don’t say them anymore they’re funny 😞)

HQ BOYS W/ AN S/O WHO MAKES A LOT OF DIRTY JOKES

genre: fluff but just a lil suggestive

a/n: STOP BCS THIS IS LITERALLY ME WHEN I HAVE ENERGY

warnings: mentions of nudity, dirty jokes but its pretty mild, two swears, idk wtf i was doing on suna's and noya's lol (ok for noya ive never written for him before but wtf happened with suna)

K. KENMA

"chicken fries, ken. chicken fries." you pestered.

"ok, ok. and can i add one order of chicken fries, please?"

"of course!" said the cashier cheerily through the drive-thru mic. "so just to confirm, a bourbon bacon cheeseburger triple, cheese fries, chicken fries, a large sprite, a medium coke, a vanilla frosty, and a chocolate frosty?"

"yep." kenma confirmed.

"ok, please drive up to the window."

once you two got your food, kenma parked in the parking lot and took a spoonful of his chocolate frosty and smiled contentedly. you laughed in response, to which he pouted/glared to and turned away from you.

"i like wendy's." kenma scowled.

"me too. i love it in my mouth, but also.."you paused. "when deez NUTS are in yours!"

you earned a slap to the head.

"OWW KENMAAA YOU VIOLENT PUDDING-HEAD MF"

he simply smiled and went back to eating.

"..hey, pudding-head."

"what?"

"DONT EAT WENDYS!! HOW ABOUT PUDDING DEEZ NUTS IN YOUR MOUTH INSTEAD"

(pause)

"OWWW"

S. RINTARO

"our class got a new student today." suna mentioned casually as he scrolled through tiktok.

"yeah, i heard about that! he's from america, right? what's his name?" you asked.

"uhh.. sato. sato phillip." suna answered, struggling to pronounce the first name. "his dad's japanese and his mom's greek."

"phillip, huh?" you wondered aloud. "hey rin, you wanna skip making dinner tonight?"

"huh?" suna asked, confused. "where'd that come from?"

"YOU COULD PHILLIP ON DEEZ NUTS INSTEAD"

"well, that's kinky. i suppose i wouldnt mind giving it a try." suna replied, deadpan. "have you already ordered the attachable rubber balls?"

this guy thinks hes so cool for that.

"fuck you, rin."

"please do."

this brat.

N. YUU

"noya, what should i be for halloween this year?" you asked your boyfriend.

"hmm.." he thought about it long and hard. "a maid!" that earned him a slap to the 2-inch hair.

he laughed. "well, i suppose a fairy could be cute too."

"a fairy? then, you should be the goblin!" you beamed.

"HEY!" nova cried, offended. "why am i the goblin?"

"GOBLIN BOFA DEEZ NUTS"

noya paused for a second before bursting out cackling.

"THAT MADE THE FACT THAT I GOT A D ON MY TEST TODAY SO MUCH BETTER"

you gasped. "but we studied together! he gave you a d?!"

"yeah. i'm giving you a d too."

"boy what?"

"GIVING YOU DEEZ NUTS"

it was your turn to burst out cackling childishly.

"ok but for real, noya. lets be serious. deez nuts jokes kinda suck." you said, getting dead serious.

"HUH?! YOU SUCK!"

"SUCK ON DEEZ NUTS"

noya then POUNCED on you and laughed into your neck, sending ticklish sensations down your spine.

"I FUCKING LOVE YOU"

"I LOVE YOU TOO"

you both doubled down laughing, and you didn't even know what you were laughing at at this point.

[jarritos-hetalia]

Part two of Hetalia as things I've heard! (Extended edition)

These are from years ago, like a while ago. So there are references to Pokemon scarlet and violet, and maybe other things.

~~~

Italy: That kid just twerked on baby Jesus!

~~~

Hungary: So a woman's period is kinda like-

Prussia: *Starts Crying*

~~~

Germany: Hey Japan-

Japan: *Hugs him*

Germany: *Confused Screaming*

~~~

Romano: Do you know who that is? *Points to a random person*

Spain: No?

Romano: That's because you are ugly.

Spain: *Sad*

~~~

America: Hey Old man, have you heard of the star wars character Bofa?

Canada: Don’t

England: What?

America: Bofa deez nuts in your mouth!

~~~

America: I’ve played basketball before.

America: *Goes to shoot the ball*

Canada: Go Lebron Manays!

~~~

Romano: *Sitting on the floor behind Italy and Spain so he doesnt get called on*

Spain: *pointing to him* Romano is here!

Romano: You Bitch

Spain: Germany, call on him!

~~~

Italy: Bye Germany!

Germany: Bye Italy, Love you!

Italy:

Germany: I’m so sorry

~~~

America: *On a discord call with Japan*

Japan: Bye

America: Bye, Love you

Japan: Wha-

America: * Hangs up*

Discord- would you like to rate your call?

America: *typing* Bad, I accidentally said “I Love You”

~~~

America: lol

England: What is this 2012? I haven't heard anyone say “lol” in years.

America: *internally* Did no one ever teach you to mind your own business.

England: *Laughing his ass off*

America: yesterday you said that something was groovy, what year are you living in, 1980?

England: >:O

~~~

Romano: So I stabbed myself in the leg three times with a pen-

Italy: WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO THAT?!

Romano: Because I was stressed? Anyway-

~~~

Hong Kong: *Vibing to Cabinet Man by Lemon Demon at three am*

Japan: *Bangs on his door* DID YOU OPEN MY MOUNTAIN DEW?!

Hong Kong: wha- WHY THE FUCK WOULD I??

Japan: GOOD *leaves*

~~~

Italy: Illions’s favorite pizza topping is ketchup.

Romano: *Grabs his bat* What the fuck.

~~~

America: TwO tRuCkS, hAvInG sEx

England: What the actual fuck

~~~

Germany: I’m Hyperlexic

Italy: I’m Dyslexic

Japan: Together you are lexic

Romano: You just brought back so many lexia memories

~~~

Russia: I opened his mountain dew

Hong Kong: Why?

Russia: I like to inhale the carbonation.

Hong Kong: *Confused Screaming*

~~~

France: I’m not going

England: Okay

France: *Gets out of the car*

England: I thought you weren't coming?

France: I am now

~~~

Receptionist: Hey lady, so the restrooms are all the way across the building and the others are through the gym

Hungary: Why?

~~~

Romano: I swear to God if one more thing goes wrong today I'm going to kill myself.

Spain: Hey.

Romano: I'm going to kill myself!

~~~

England: *Walking*

America: You look like an NPC

England: What?

America: Now you look like a roblox character.

~~~

Italy: I got an ad for the new pokemon game and I was like “Did that pokemon just turn into a fucking motorbike?!”

Romano: *Mocking Him* Did that person just turn into a present?!

~~~

England: I can’t feel my facial muscles.

France: You can’t because you don’t commonly give people blow jobs.

England: What the heck.

~~~

France: Next person to walk through the door is annoying

England: *walks through the door*

France: True

England: FUCK YOU

France: I know you would you slut

~~~

America: That man was a pedophile!

England: It was the fucking mall santa!

Canada: Truly the most perverted man alive.

England: You too!?

~~~

Romano: Italy I swear to God if you do something more chaotic than you normally do I'm going to fucking choke Spain out.

Italy: Why are you torturing Spain

Romano: Because Spain is just an annoying little brat

Spain: *Getting ready to be killed* Screw you Romano no one loves you

Germany: I'm going to the corn field

~~~

America: is it a hotdish or a casserole?

Canada: a Casserole?

America: Nope, a hotdish

Canada: What the fuck is wrong with you.

~~~

Italy: Anything can kill you if you throw it hard enough!

Romano: *Breaking threw the door* Hey! That’s my line!

France: Anything can be a dildo if you try hard enough! England: You are a fucking disappointment

France: I know

~~~

Italy: This is my favorite picture of Germany!

Japan: All I see is Johnny Deept

~~~

Romano: *Kicking the air*

Prussia: *Grabs His leg*

Romano: *Falls*

Prussia: ‘-’

Romano: HE THREW ME! Prussia: NO I FUCKING DIDN’T

~~~

Russia: I know your mom

America: *Does Not have a mom* What’s her name?

Russia: Umm

America: What’s her name?

Russia: I’m in danger *Laughes*

~~~

Canada: I don’t know football

America: Okay?

Canada: But I know Hockey

America: Why

~~~

Germany: Depressed can be a character trait?

Germany: Hey y'all my name is Germany and I’m depressed!

~~~

Germany: *Making the hand wolves have sex*

Romano: DON’T MAKE THE HAND WOLVES HAVE SEX

~~~

Norway: So Finland gave me two fidget toys

Iceland: ?

Norway: and one of them is this fidget spinner thing and the other one is just a ball

Iceland: Ball, I want ball

Norway: O-okay. *Hands him the ball*

Iceland: *holds the ball* Textured Ball

~~~

Iceland: Hey Sealand, look at this *Shows him screenshots of lexia*

Sealand: Wha- *Starts Crying and screaming*

~~~

Romano: Sprigatito the italian seasoning cat.

~~~

Canada: Mom said that I was her favorite memory and that you were her second

America: *Angry Yelling*

England: I said that because he was the first born!

~~~

America: Hey BrOtHeR!

Canada: What do you want?

~~~

Iceland: I’ll walk home by myself

Sweden: You won’t

Iceland: Watch me *Walks out*

~~~

Italy: when in doubt, know your way out

Germany: what are you planning on doing

Japan: *running* I AM NOT TAKING ANY CHANCES 

Germany: what???

~~~ Spain: Two trucks having sex~

Romano: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU SPAIN

~~~

England: *Talking about child labor* Look at how dead inside this child looks

England: *Shows a picture of a kid from miss pilgrims home for particular children* Look at how similar they are, so you might say that the kids were ‘particular’

England: *Shows a picture of the kids from the shining* I added that one in there for fun-

America: *turns to Canada* We’re talking about child labor and he wants to make that fun?

Canada: Weird

~~~

China: Remembering the time my boyfriend told me that “Sweet Bod” by Lemon Demon was our love song but in a romantic way.

Japan: and you didn’t break up with him?

~~~

America: You can perform CPR to “Two Trucks” by Lemon Demon

Japan: What?

America: Imagine waking up after CPR and hearing “Two Trucks, having sex”

Japan: What is wrong with you?

~~~

[mythicalmagical-monkeyman]

Ma: Yo Mac, have you seen Landon? Macaque: No, who's Landon? Ma: :3 Trip, fall, and landon deez nuts! Macaque: ... --- Ma: Hey Macaque, do you have CDs? Macaque: CDs? Like disks? Ma: Nope! Like see deez nuts bro! Macaque: AGH! --- Tang: I heard demons love parodies Macaque: ... Parodies? Tang: Love a pair of Deez nuts Macaque: ._.🔪 Tang: Oh gods please don't hurt me

--- Wukong: Ok so I was thinking we could use sock on Macaque: What's sock on? Wukong: ... Suck on these nuts. Ma: He already does that. --- MK: Just be careful not to catch bofa Macaque: Bofa? What's bofa? MK: Bofa deez nuts Macaque: Not you too!

[david-goldrock]

The joke is going to be "who's lord bofa?"

"Bofa Deez nuts"

lol, avoided it well

Thanks man XD

[timothyburleday]

What do you mean ''who is this'' it's me, Cane Theenuz-Thit. I catch ligmaballs from Joe Mama and you can't even remember me? Just ask Phillip Ondis-Dic or Candice D-Fit. I swear, Miload Enurmoth is a better teacher than you, I wouldn't understand this without his BOFA THESE NUTS

...

[baby-xemnas]

ugh i would put bepo in every dress ever. i have one dress i can never wear (on account of how insanely slutty it is) where its a black sleek evening dress with gold filigrees on the sleeves and collar but its got a PLUNGING neckline down all the way to the bellybutton, just those little rubber lines and a prayer to hold the dress over your boobs. on TOP of that it also has a low scoop back AND a high thigh slit, its barely even a dress at this point. but my god bepo in a dress like that . pink nip peeking out from the v neck... fuzzy belly window ... slit up above his hip so u can see his big thighs and his butt when he turns just right. law would never let him outside the house in such a thing a bepo of this level of sexiness is for laws eyes only but ohhhhhhhh my godddddddd i would risk it allllll

would draw this but im tired and idk what filigrees on clothing are so i'll just picture it along with u

i gotta say regarding bepo feminization i love what one cute ass lawbepo artist said abt bepo pre-ts and post-ts and how in the introduction bepo has a regular way of speaking so the artist was like - law called him cute since and bepo dialed up that aspect of himself up to 12 and im like shit i love that so much

its like a reverse of pre ts and post ts chopper - where his cuteness and mascotification i highkey hate - but with bepo its horny and stupid and he is doing it for law and thats SOO GOOD TO MEEEEEEEEEEE

i love the thought that bepo is super delibreately tailoring his attitude and serving daddy's little girl and law (who knew the man for over a decaadeee) is like yeah.....nice....

its soooo YOU FREAKY IN PUBLIC THE BOFA U

but not dressing up, that public doesnt get to see, only law. i love how its aside from being the classic hehehehe bottom feminization - theres the element of bepo doing anything for law even if he might not like the idea himself, might not be that comfortable - law loves pushing him cuz theres no limit and thats sexy and exciting that bepo will bend over backwards and then some for him - he doesnt enjoy making him unhappy ofc but bepo cant STAY unhappy because its for law..and anything for law is good

bepo feels absolutely ridiculous wearing such slutty female clothes - and he probably has trouble figuring out how to put it on cuz its just WHAT IS THAT??? A SCARF??????THATS SO LITTLE FABRIC???? law has to help him........he is so aware that he wasnt built for clothes like that and even somewhere deep may worry that captain is making fun of him...its super shameful! but law cant keep a small smile off of his face thats so adoring and appreciative that his bepo is doing it for him....so cute...so sweet..darling..and he looks great to law!! sexy and pretty and like a real trophy - that bepo caves, of course he does. he melts from having laws hands slide over him when he helps him put this ridiculous thing on - and there sure is a lot of access to open fur - bepo feels more naked than he would be without any of this..

[rodanhoax]

A purple fireball crashes before Ruby and Yang. It explodes in a spectacle of awe and power. From it, reveals a knight clad in black and white armor, gold accents strewn around. A blood red sash flaps in the wind from his waist as he looks up to the sisters, whom immediately put their guard up, unsure what the knight will do or say first.

GrimmKnight!Jaune: *Wheezes in pain, his armor still letting off smoke from the fireball he came out of* My inside's are on fire!

Ruby: Uh... You good?

Yang: If not, I'd say we keep it that way.

Jaune: *Groans as he straightens himself* Yeah. Yeah I'm totally good.

Ruby: 😑 Nice recovery.

Jaune: What was that?

Ruby: Nothing!

Jaune: Well, in that case, hello children! Queen Salem said that I can't get back on my PS5 until I capture the silver-eyed girl, so lets get this over with quickly, eh?

Ruby: There's a PS5?!

Jaune: Yeah! How did you not-wait...

Jaune: (Thoughts) This means the girl's uncultured. Oh, we're gonna have some fun here. 

Jaune: Y'know, I bet beating you chumps isn't even gonna be a big challenge!

Ruby: Why's that?

Jaune: Because I was the only one in the queen's crew who was able to take on Lord Bofa.

Ruby: Bofa?

Yang: *Groans* Oh no.

Jaune: *Sinister laugh* Bofa Deez Nuts! 

With a wave of his now glowing sword, the knight unleashes a wave that knocks our heroines off their feet. His laughter rings across the battlefield, much to the annoyance of the sisters.

Jaune: Oh man. I haven't faced huntsmen this weak since Saw Con!

Yang: Ruby wai-!

Ruby: What is Saw Con!?

Jaune:

[draconym]

I know Tasty Ravioli is in all likelihood a haha joke name, but I have family members who are involved in professional horse racing and I want you to know that's not at all an unusual racehorse name. A thoroughbred racehorse by the name of Tasty Ravioli would be among such fine company as Where's The Beef, Ha Ha, and Bofa Deez Nuts.

You're gonna love my other horse's names then

Unfortunately due to the characteristics I am breeding for, my horses' top speed tends to be around 14mph, so none of them is going to become a racehorse any time soon