#book is great even without some very humorous bits like here

[matcha-milkies]

WELL, YOU DID ASK

Summary: Aboard the Stan-O’-War II, Stan finds out and confronts Ford about his past relationship with Bill.

Alternatively: “Ford, why did Bill call you babygirl?”

Relationships: Sea Grunkles, Bill Cipher/Ford Pines (Mentioned)

Content Warnings: Implied/Referenced Sex

Tags: Humor, Light Angst, Banter

Inspired By: This Meme and This Comic

Word Count: 2,489

Link to AO3: Here

A/N: Yeah it’s been a HOT MINUTE five years since I watched Gravity Falls, and I’m still waiting on my copy of Book of Bill, so I’m sorry if there are any inconsistencies with canon in this. I was riffing hard off of secondhand material lol

Stan stares up at the top bunk as the room gently sways from side to side, a cabin cradled in the bosom of the ocean. He’s lying face up on his cot, hands on his abdomen, and he’s contemplating something very deeply. It’s unnerving, this thing. He almost wishes he could forget all about it. Almost.

He bites his bottom lip and deliberates over what to do about this. He could just leave it alone. Things have been good lately. Why rock the boat, so to speak? They could go about their day, have their coffee, cast their lines into the sea, fry that leftover kraken meat for dinner. Blegh, he’s so sick of kraken meat. He’s going to have to find a way to season that thing to spice it up a bit or else he’s gonna go crazy. Why do krakens have to be so enormous anyway?

Yeah, he could do that. He could be normal.

After all, if the answer is no, then there’s nothing to worry about in the first place. And if the answer is yes… does he really want to know about it? What is he going to do, where is he going to go from there? Ask for details? He’s racked by a fullbody shudder. As if.

But deep down, he knows he’s kidding himself. If he doesn’t confront his brother, then this is going to linger in the back of Stan’s mind for all of eternity. He won’t be able to look at his twin without pondering all the ‘why’s. Why him? Why didn’t you tell me?

Stan hauls himself to a sitting position and swings his legs over the side of his bunk. He stares at the wall for a little bit, mouth quirked to the side. The Stan-O’-War II creaks, as if it’s also pondering to itself. He can hear his brother rustling papers a ways away in the other room. It’s a small boat. Of course it is. There’s only two of them to man it.

Stan starts to walk into the other room, then turns around and changes course at the last second, heading above deck instead. Hopefully his twin was too preoccupied with his work to notice. Stan walks over to the port side and leans his arms against the railing with a sigh. It’s a nice day out, at least. The sun is shining high in the sky with only a few clouds drifting overhead. They’re somewhere off the coast of Canada.

Somewhere further south but still along the same coast are his great niece and nephew, going to school again. He wonders how they’re doing. He wishes he could call them. He misses them, but he also wants to take his mind off of this. He hears footsteps pacing below deck, probably to grab a book off a shelf or something, because they soon pace right back to where the desk would be. 

Stan lowers his head until his forehead is against the railing and sighs. He’s probably going to have to ask. The thing he’s dreading is knowing that it’s not gonna go over well. He gives it maybe another ten minutes to psyche himself up, then turns and tramps back down the stairs.

Ford is situated at his desk (it’s not anyone’s desk but really it’s Ford’s desk), sifting through some old creased pages that look like they’re about to disintegrate at the slightest breeze. On his right-hand side is a cold, half-finished cup of joe. Occasionally, he mutters something to himself and pens something in his new journal. He’s entirely absorbed. He doesn’t even seem to notice when Stan appears in the doorway and leans his elbow against it.

“Uh, hey, Sixer, how’s it goin’ in here?”

Ford starts. The pen drops from his hand and rolls around on the swaying floor. “Stanley, how many times do I have to tell you not to sneak up like that?”

“I didn’t sneak up on you. I’m notoriously loud. You’re the one with your nose glued to that journal.”

“I–” Ford’s breath catches in his throat before he lets it out in a sigh. “I suppose you have a point. I’m sorry, Stanley. I’m just frustrated at how little progress I’ve made with this. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”

“You know you say that, like, every time we find some weird thing, right?”

“I didn’t think we would encounter this many paranormal phenomena outside of Gravity Falls.”

“Maybe you’re the weirdness magnet.”

“Perhaps both of us are. After all, you were the one living in my shack for all those years pretending to be me.”

“Ha, yeah…” Stan musses his own hair. “Must run in the family.”

“Anyway–” after stooping to pick up the pen, Ford seats himself at the desk again– “you know I always appreciate your company, Stan, but I’d like to make some real headway before dinner if at all possible.”

“Uh, well, actually,” Stan says, and Ford glances up with a raised brow.

“What is it? Don’t tell me you accidentally dropped something overboard,” replies Ford, testing the temperature of his coffee. He looks displeased at the result but nevertheless continues to sip it anyway.

“Relax, relax, it’s nothing like that. Sheesh, are you ever gonna let me live that down?”

“It happened yesterday.”

“Ancient history!” Eh, might as well spit it out, right? “Hey, speaking of ancient history, what was going on with you and Bill?”

Ford makes some sort of choking sound and dribbles coffee back into his cup. He casts about for a napkin or a towel. “What do you mean by that?”

“Were you like, just a fling, boyfriend-boyfriend, married? What was going on there?”

Ford sputters, gives up and rolls up his sleeve to wipe his mouth on his bare arm. His voice cracks a little as he speaks. “What- What do you- What do- Why would you–”

“Look, don’t play dumb with me, IQ. When he was in my head, he said some things. And I didn’t think much of it at the time, but see, now I got nothing but time out here on this tin can, and I…”

His twin finally manages to school himself back into neutrality, although they’re both well aware it’s too late. He’s already shown his hand. All he can do is pretend, deny, for whatever that gets him. He spares Stan a glance over his spectacles, and it seems to last an eternity, before the man finally returns his gaze to his notes. “Now is not the time to talk about this.” Oh. Okay. So not even a denial then.

“Uh, right. Sure. And when exactly is the right time gonna be?”

Ford pinches the bridge of his nose and sighs with a kind of bone-deep exhaustion. “I don’t know, Stanley, any time I’m not trying to decipher the code that we found etched onto the side of that washed up precolonial artifact last week?”

“Well, I don’t know why it needs to be a whole song and dance, Einstein, it’s a simple question.”

“Yes, we were… romantically involved. Obviously. Now please leave me in peace.” Not that he had expected that answer to buy him anything, but he still finds himself chagrined when Stan stubbornly continues his line of questioning.

“Why didn’t you tell me about that?”

“I didn’t think it pertinent.” Ford closes the book on his left-hand side, resigning himself to the unfortunate reality that this conversation is happening, and there is no walking away from it. Where would he even escape to? They’re stuck on a boat together until they land at the next port.

“You didn’t think I’d wanna know you were getting… close with the literal demon that tried to kill us?”

“He wasn’t trying to kill us when I was getting to know him. Again, this should be obvious, Stanley. I don’t know why you’re making me spell it all out for you.” He strangles the air, vibrating with more frustration than he can dissipate. “Unless it’s just to torture me, which I wouldn’t put past you.”

“What is that supposed to mean? After all the things I’ve done for you, all I’m asking for here is a little honesty.”

Ford very graciously decides not to dwell on the “all the things I’ve done for you” bit and reopen that particular wound. Instead, he doffs his glasses, the better to massage his forehead.

“Oh, for the love of… We’re in our 60s, Stan.” He unfurls his arms on the table, palms upward. “What did you want me to do, honestly? You wanted me to sit you down and tell you about my crush like we’re still in high school?”

There’s something in the sincerity of his tone that throws Stan off kilter, disarms him.

“I’m not sayin’ that! I just— You’re makin’ it sound more unreasonable than it is! I’m still your twin and I thought you trusted me with this kinda thing.”

Ford pushes his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. He stares at a point just past Stan’s shoulder, mouth flattened into a line. “Oh, god,” he laments, as it dawns on him that the emotionally mature thing to do is to be vulnerable. He sighs, busying his hands by straightening all the papers on his desk. “It’s embarrassing. It was already embarrassing, don’t you see? And this just makes it so much worse.”

“What?” Stan pulls up a chair and sits across from his twin. “Sixer, come on. You think I came in here and brought this up just to laugh at you? I mean, don’t get me wrong, it is objectively very funny, hilarious even—” he grins in the face of Ford’s glare— “but the last thing I’m gonna do is judge you. Between you and me, I think your relationship with that freaky triangle was more stable than anything I’ve ever had with any human.”

“Stable is not the word I would use to describe anything that went on in that shack in the 1980s.”

“Yeah, that just goes to show how low the bar is. Anyway, my point is, while I’m not gonna laugh at you, I definitely will still laugh.”

The scientist raises an unamused brow. “With me, you mean?”

“No, I’m just gonna laugh. Ha! Ha-ha!” Stan reaches across the desk to nudge Ford with his elbow. “Come on, it’s funny! You had a relationship with a triangle! Oh, the kids are gonna be so traumatized!”

“Wh- D- Stan, don’t tell them!”

“Why not? Dipper worships the ground you walk on. This won’t change anything for him. And Mabel… well, Mabel will laugh too actually. Very hard.” He brings a hand to his chin and narrows his eyes. “Or worse, she’ll start shipping you.”

“What does that even mean? She’s going to ship me? Where? How?”

“Uh, not important, and for all intents and purposes, I do not know what that word means either. Look, I’m just pulling your leg, Poindexter. I won’t tell them if you don’t want me to. It’s your business.”

“You honestly mean that?”

Stan sweeps an arm through the air with finality. “It’s your own business and nobody else’s. Look, I’m—” He finds himself rubbing the back of his neck. “I’m sorry for pushing you about this. It’s not something you’d wanna look back on, I get it.”

“Oh.” Ford doesn’t really know what to do with that so he resumes straightening papers even though they’ve been straight for the past three minutes. “I’m not used to fights ending like this.”

“Yeah, me neither. It’s weird. It’s like we emotionally matured or something.”

“Something like that,” Ford agrees.

They lapse into awkward silence. That should've been the end of it, and yet.

“I guess I just don’t get it,” Stan admits.

“What don’t you understand, Stanley?”

“He’s a— Well, he’s a little two-dimensional, don’t you think?”

“It was an extremely intellectual affair, Stan. Physicality had very little to do with it.” Well, that isn’t entirely true but his brother doesn’t need to know about any of that.

“You know what, I’d believe that. I’m just having trouble envisioning what it… what it was like.”

“Why are you trying to envision that?”

“Because it’s weird, Ford! It’s weird and morbidly fascinating. It’s like a train wreck, I can’t look away.”

“Do you have any more questions? So that I can answer them and we can be done talking about this forever?”

“So you… you never… y'know…”

“No,” Ford says about five seconds too late. There’s heat rising to his cheeks and he smothers his face with his hands as Stan sits slack-jawed in abject horror.

“What? Wait, seriously? How did that even work?”

“Ask me something else.”

“Okay. For scientific purposes, hypothetically, in a hypothetical situation, how would a human with glasses and a triangular demon go about—”

“Oh, for God’s sake, Stan!”

“God had nothin’ to do with it, I know that much.” Stan leans back in his chair, then eyes Ford suspiciously. “Wait. He didn’t possess someone else, did he?”

“No!” Ford sounds genuinely horrified. “How depraved do you think I am? That would be tantamount to— I wouldn’t do that. Do you really think so lowly of me?”

“I mean, they could’ve consented beforehand anyway, right? That’s all I’m saying. Although, Sixer, I cannot stress this enough: You locked yourself in a cabin in the middle of Nowhere, Oregon and started drawing freaky symbols on the floor and communing with a literal demon. I think I’m allowed to be a little concerned.”

“Well– Sure, when you put it like that, it sounds more occult than scientific, but I can assure you my methodology was very sound.”

“Oh, okay, good. I’m glad your methodology was sound. That was the main thing I was worried about.”

“May I return to my cipher now?”

“Your Cipher, huh?”

Ford stares pointedly at his twin, trying to telepathically communicate how exhausting this conversation is.

“I just need to know how you did it. It’s gonna keep me up at night.”

“I fail to see how that’s my issue.”

“And then I’ll keep you up at night.”

“And then I’ll throw you overboard so that you can find that notebook you lost!”

“And then I’ll haunt you from the watery grave, you know I will. Besides, it’s laughable you think you could throw me overboard, Poindexter.”

“You really want to know?”

“For my own peace of mind, please.”

Ford sighs deeply, eyes shifting from wall to wall, as though afraid someone’s eavesdropping. Maybe he’s paranoid that a mermaid is listening in from outside. He gestures for Stan to lean in closer, cups his hands to his ear and whispers for a few seconds. Stan’s expression becomes unreadable.

“Oh. Wow. Creative. Okay. Welp. That answers that.” He claps his hands together as if to dispel dirt. “Say, you wouldn’t happen to have another one of those memory-wiping guns?”

[littlemintcat]

"Louis XIV's courtiers stood a better chance of gaining entry, although not all were cultured enough to appreciate what they saw. Saint-Simon reports with relish that the marquis de Gesvres, who told people that the various paintings of the Crucifixion, in fact by different hands, were the work of a single artist who signed himself 'Inri.'"

from Versailles: A Biography of a Palace by Tony Spawforth

[loneamaryllis]

Snarriet rec list - Small fics (under 30k)

Where Do We Go (When It's All Over)

by orphan_account. Rated E. 4k. Dubious Consent, Rough Sex, Pregnancy Kink.

Their bond is a complicated thing that knots up in a shared understanding of the two men that had influenced their lives.

One dead by his hands, the other by hers.

-

Or: Harry learns of Snape's survival, chases him down and twists them up into something else entirely even as Snape does his best to show her that there's nothing worth wanting.

Why I rec it: Hot smut, an annoyed Snape who can't fight his attraction to Harry, and great banter while they're fucking.

Sharing my heart, it's tearing me apart

by @pensieveprose. Rated E. 9K, WIP. (Underage) Creature Severus Snape, Soul Bond, Mind Link.

A mistake during a summoning ritual results in a soul bond between Harrie and Severus.

As Harrie and Severus tries to navigate being bonded and hiding it from everyone else, they realize the most crucial thing. They may be able to hide the bond from others, but hiding secrets from your bond mate is destined to end in disaster.

Why I rec it: The concept is great! Harrie binding Snape to her in a botched ritual... now they have to live with the consequences. Bonus points for the image of Snape with horns.

Untamed

by sheswayout. Not rated. 4k. Smut, Bearded!Snape.

In which Harrie attends the ministry gala and Snape is set to receive an Order of Merlin. Oh and Ginny made a bet or two.

Why I rec it: Nice little oneshot with some gala glitter and sex on a desk.

Mistletoe

by spicedlantern. Rated M. 8k. Mutual Pining, Stubborn Snape, Weaponized Mistletoe (sort of).

The seventh year Slytherins just want their Head of House to be happy. Severus must live with the consequences of their actions.

Why I rec it: It's such a fun fic! Snape growing increasingly frustrated with his problem while the solution is right there...

Stone Rolling

by spicedlantern. Rated M. 16k. Succubus, Jealousy, Pining.

Inevitably, the unstoppable force will meet the immovable object.

Or: Severus Snape is in some of the deepest denial possible, but a good succubus will expose the truth of any man, even those most stubborn and secretive.

Why I rec it: Severus being confronted with a succubus taking Harriet's form to seduce him and him going 'well there's been a mistake, I don't want Harriet Potter in any way, shape or form, no, never in a million years' is just. chef's kiss.

Fortunate Misfortune

by @hirukochan. Rated E. 6k. (Underage) Dubious Consent, Fuck or Die, Harrie touching things she shouldn't.

Harrie gets into contact with a nasty lust potion in Snape's potion lab while snooping. Because she is a virgin she would die without Snape's intervention.

Why I rec it: Fuck or die Snarriet! Bratty Harriet arguing with Snape's while he's fucking her :D

Snape's cat

by @loneamaryllis. Rated E. 29k. Cat Animagus Harrie, Fluff, Secrets.

Harrie's Animagus form is a cat. Snape happens to like cats.

Or: the fic where an 'Accio cat' starts everything.

Why I rec it: It's a self-rec so I'm being a bit selfish here. I like the fluffy moments, the way Snape lowers his guard around Harrie when she's a cat, and Harrie as a cat in general.

Open Book

by spicedlantern. Rated M. 18k. Mind Reading, Humor, Sex in a closet.

On the Monday of the final week of the final term of her Hogwarts career, Harriet Potter is cursed in a corridor by Pansy Parkinson. The curse seemingly fails.

By Wednesday morning of that same week, Severus Snape is certain he's gone quite mad.

Why I rec it: Snape losing his mind because he can hear Harriet's thoughts while she's thirsting after him! It's hilarious, and the smut scene is sizzling hot.

Siren's Song

by @loneamaryllis. Rated E. 19k. Siren Harriet Potter, Stoic Snape, Bathtub Sex.

"Everyone loves you," Snape had once told her with a bitter sneer. What happens when it becomes true in a very literal sense?

Why I rec it: another self-rec. I loved the idea of Harriet making everyone fall in love with her unwittingly, except Snape who isn't affected by her siren power.

[sweettjrose]

Hey, do you know some really good comic books about Mickey?!

Oh boy.

To be honest, while I love talking about the Mickey comics I feel like I have a hard time sharing recommendations about them. But I'll do my best.

I think the most important thing to know when getting Mickey Mouse comics is that while there isn't really a set canon to them, most of them branch off of the stories made by Floyd Gottfredson. He's sort of the Carl Barks of the Mickey comics. So if you wanna get a good understanding of the core of comics Mickey Mouse and read some pretty solid adventure comics, I would check out his stuff. Though keep in mind that some of these comics haven't aged well. Another good person to check out is Romano Scarpa as I also feel like he does a good job following up with what Gottfredson lays down.

However, beyond that there are just so many stories all with different tones, lore, humor, and characters that it can be hard to know what to recommend. There are the X-Mickey comics that have a bit of an edge to them, but also Topolino has been releasing a lot of great comics recently (in Italian) that can range from gag comics to multipart epics. I think the best way to learn more is to just take a plunge and try out a comic if it seems interesting or ask around and see what other people are recommending or talking about. For example here's a thread from @cosmosrebellion who asked a similar question:

And if you want a catalogue of all the comics documented along with ratings and information on each one check out inducks:

As for my current favorites, I am so far a big fan of Marco Nucci and Casty's comics. I really like their Phantom Blot Trilogy and I think both of them do a good job adding a bit of depth and seriousness without removing the fun. @applestabs has fantastic scanlations of the Phantom Blot Trilogy which I definitely recommend for anyone getting into the comics who likes seeing Mickey put in more difficult situations than usual. I am also starting to become a fan of Stefano Turconi's work.

I also would check out the original "Mickey Mouse Outwits the Phantom Blot" story as it holds up extremely well and is a good introduction to the Phantom Blot who becomes very pivotal to many Mickey comics and is a fan favorite. Also check out other stories from Nucci and Casty.

If you want to know how to read the comics, I use a mix of Amazon (though you can also find them in other stores online), scanlations here on Tumblr (or similar sites), or even people will just share comics with me. There's also other read comics free online sites you can use.

Honestly though I think the best way to get involved is to interact with the community. Many people here are so kind and helpful and would love to recommend their favorites. In fact if anyone reading this wants to give their two cents. Please do so. I want to read your thoughts too.

[hilkaro]

"No hurt, just comfort"

Dedicated to all those who are not feeling well: Caring Ren.

You lie in bed with your eyes closed, not dozing off anymore but also not wanting to admit that you’ve already woken up. It’s one of those days when you’d rather just pretend you don’t exist. You inhale the fresh morning air and wonder why you feel so bad again.

Then you hear a soft knock on the door, and without waiting for your response, Ren enters, carrying a tray in his hands. The room immediately fills with the aroma of herbs and spices.

“Hey, sweetheart. How are you feeling today?” asks the beastkin, placing the tray on the nightstand. He sits on the bed next to you, the mattress bending slightly under his light weight.

You open your eyes and give him a slight smile. No matter how you feel, his presence is always welcome. Your heart even beats a little faster.

“Better already,” you reply, sitting up in bed.

His tail wags with satisfaction as he adjusts your pillows to make you more comfortable. Then he touches your face with the back of his hand, like a mother checking for a fever without a thermometer when you were a child. You sigh lightly, feeling the feather-light touch on your cheek.

“You’re so pale. Paler than usual,” he says with evident concern in his voice, looking at you intently.

You smile wryly. It’s hard to get a tan being locked up at home for several years.

“Geez, is that even possible? To be even paler than usual?”

Ren’s face lights up at your joking reply. He ruffles your hair affectionately.

“Your sense of humor is coming back, that’s good.” His hand moves across your face, his thumb brushing your lower lip, caressing its redness. Subconsciously, you part your lips, but he just smiles and shakes his head.

“Oh! I almost forgot. I made you some broth, it should be eaten while it’s hot.”

He places the tray on his lap, stirs the bowl of broth for a moment, then scoops up a spoonful, blows on it to cool it, and brings it to your mouth.

Immediately, you blush and, surprised, pull back a bit.

“Hey, come on, I want to feed you,” says the beastkin, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

“I-I can do it myself,” you protest quietly.

“Let me take care of you, that’s what I’m here for, to take care of you, right? Besides, it would bring me great joy. Be a good girl as usual and let me do what I want.”

Encouragingly, he moves the spoon closer to your mouth, and you open your mouth because it’s not a big deal, and you want your beloved captor to be happy. The broth is still hot, slightly burning your tongue, but it tastes delicious. You can clearly taste fresh parsley, garlic, and Maggi seasoning. And pepper. Lots of pepper. Your stomach will probably hurt later, but you don’t think about that, you just bravely open your mouth, and with each spoonful, you really start to feel better.

“Hah, look at that, you’ve even got a bit of a blush!” Ren praises, setting the empty bowl aside. He leans in and plants a warm kiss on your forehead. You tremble all over, your eyelids flutter, and a sigh escapes your lips. The beastkin looks at you up close, his eyes shining, ears perked, tail still, only the tip twitching slightly. He’s considering something.

“No. Not today. Today I’ll leave you alone, you need to rest,” he finally says, more to himself than to you, and you know exactly what he meant, and part of you regrets that it’s not today, that maybe that’s what would get you back on your feet, but you just meekly nod in response.

“I thought I’d read you a book.”

He reaches for a volume lying on the tray next to the now-empty bowl. When he says book, he obviously means a manga, you glance briefly at the cover. Uzumaki by Junji Ito. Not a very uplifting story, but you know he could have chosen worse. You know his collection and taste very well. You shift to make room for him, and he settles comfortably next to you, wrapping an arm around you. You rest your head on his chest and listen to the beat of his heart, inhaling his wonderful scent. With him, you found your place in the world.

“Thank you,” you whisper.

“Hmm? I didn’t hear you.”

“Nothing, nothing. Please read.”

[certifieddorianandcassiansimp]

Bryce Quinlan

okay. I don’t think I’ve expressed my dislike for the main female of Crescent City enough. Here are my reasons and a little bit of ranting and comparisons.

Bryce Quinlan is SPOILED. She always gets what she wants for the consequences be damned.

Bryce refused Connor for so long only to promise a date THE DAY she breaks up with her boyfriend and he dies.

She acts like Danika couldn’t have kept anything from her and continues to be hurt over it when she was a rebel. Danika had the right to keep things and didn’t do anything wrong.

She ignores everything, not just advice, but common sense. In HOEAB, she basically doesn’t listen to anyone who says anything to her, she also doesn’t shy away from literal demons trying to kill her. (This is a common case of MCS but still.)

she’s a terrible mate. This is shown mostly in HOFAS when she dismisses Hunt over and over again, when his fears are very much valid.

she doesn’t take responsibility. Bryce Quinlan murdered two Fae kings and basically said that she didn’t want the kingdoms and all fae should suffer except her small group of people because of her father. That’s petty.

She doesn’t have a sense of urgency, she turns everything into a joke. And yes I know humor is a coping mechanism but you’re seriously going to stand there and joke about dying to your mate? After treating him like shit, and saying you’d come back to him when you knew you were going to sacrifice yourself, that’s not okay. And yes I know that Rhys basically did the same thing, but he never made such promises.

She is too stubborn to talk about her feelings with her own mate. Her mate begs for communication when she doesn’t give it and expects Hunt to repress his feelings as well. That’s just toxic.

She practically orders the queen of the underworld to make an antidote for a problem that’s been here for about 15,000 years in about an hour. That’s just not realistic.

Those are some reasons in general, but now I’m going to ramble about the first half of HOFAS when she was with Nesta and Azriel.

10. Bryce KNEW she was leading a deadly creature to strangers who were allowing her to live and explore as she pleased. I can’t fathom how angry this made me reading it, not just for the beloved ACOTAR characters having to do it, but it’s just unkind to your very kind captives.

11. Bryce listened to the story of Silene (I think that’s her name) with Azriel and Nesta beside her, and still didn’t trust them. 12. Bryce joked around with them, trying to understand them, but kept herself guarded, while yes, knowing your enemy is a great survival tactic, you could tell they didn’t think of her as a threat. 13. Bryce Adeline Quinlan awakened an Asteri in Prythian (or the prison, idk it’s been a while since ACOTAR.) and she didn’t even know how to kill it. In fact, she couldn’t kill it. Nesta, her badass self, slayed the crowd and the asteri. (not a complaint but I have to add the part where Az legit says ‘stick em with the pokey end!’ Love that part.)

14. After (not) defeating the asteri, she STEALS Azriel’s dagger and LEAVES. One, she stole from shadow baby and that’s never okay, two, she didn’t have plans to return it, and three, she didn’t even know how to wield it.

I also feel like Bryce should have to give something that’s a part of her up. In Feyre’s case, she gave up being human. In Aelin’s case, she gave up 90% (if not more) of her power. But then you have Bryce Quinlan. Around 24 years old, all three parents alive (until book three), and has nothing sacrificed. She should be shot down.

Okay I think I’m done now. But I have to say that after all of this I’d like to point out that I love the Maasverse and Crescent City, but I personally think it would be best without Bryce Quinlan as the main character. Thank you for coming to my Blab-Tok, goodbye.

[rjalker]

i feel like people should be able to care about literature without woobified yaoi. like nothing against shipping but idk its a bit odd that seems to be some folks only motivation to engage with flatland

Yeah it's just flat out refusing to actually engage with the story at all, because they literally just want to do the Roving M/M Ship of Fandoms Past.

I would rather these people just make up completely original characters to play with if they're not going to think about any of the morals and lessons of Flatland at all. Most of the story is taken up by political commentary criticizing systems of oppression. These people don't want to engage with any of those ideas at all. Not even in regards to their "shape yaoi". They just want to do the exact same Roving M/M Ship as any other fandom and it's infuriating.

@walks-the-ages has made many posts about this, specifically about the absolute absurdity of the way many people reacted to the movie Nope.

This is why I dread the day a series that I literally will not even mention by name here to help forestall the disaster, ever gets a movie adaptation, because I just know that shipping-obsessed people with no critical thinking skills will bulldoze past all of the horror to just pretend it's all super happy and cutesy and shippy.

Shipping is fine as long as you don't let it get in the way of actually engaging with the story that is being told. And that seems to be what is happening with most of the new people in the Flatland tag. They do not care about any of the politics or what the book has to say, they just want their shitpost shape yaoi and don't care about anything else.

It is insulting. Because this is a book literally advocating for equal rights and decrying systems of oppression, but people are just erasing all of that and just want to make shitposts instead.

When they could be doing that about any other fandom out there whose original book is not so strongly political. There's no reason for them to do it about Flatland if they don't care about the politics.

It's public domain, so you *can* ignore all of the politics and make it only about shipping if you really want to. But why in the absolute hell would you want to do that?

Why would you want to take a story that so strongly advocates for equal rights for women, intersex people, disabled people, people of color, and more, and get rid of all of that, to make it into nothing but shitposts about rich cis white guys?

It's very clear that most of the new people are still basing all of their thoughts of this book on the 2007 film, which erased all of the politics to make it purely about absurdist humor.

[ID: The “missing the point” meme, now with a picture of the original cover for the book Flatland: A Romance of Many Dimensions saying, “Racism, ableism, misogyny, and classism are bad.”, with the yellow A Sphere from the 2007 Flatland film staring at it in open-mouthed shock, exclaiming, “Wow!!! Shitpost shape yaoi!!!” while the point flies over his head. End ID.]

Ignoring the politics to make shitposts about shape yaoi is not actually a better reaction to this book than what Ladd Ehlinger, infamously racist and misogynistic conservative, did with the 2007 film when he erased all of the politics to make it purely about absurdist humor. Which is what shitposts are.

It would be great if people could actually think about that for a second and realize what the problem is with their behavior but I guess that's asking too much. It always is with the kind of people who don't care about a story at all, only how much shipping material they can get out of it.

This is one of the reasons I hate most fandoms. Most Fandom people do not actually care about the story they're supposedly in the fandom for, they just want to ship two white guys and ignore everything else, even when it means ignoring the actual female protagonist, even when it means whitewashing the protagonist and misgendering it and the guy they're shipping it with, even when it means they're woobifying, as you said earlier, a rich white guy who literally advocates for starving slaves to death while they are tortured in elementary schools.

It seems like these people do not actually give a shit about Flatland at all. They are only here to make shitposts about shape yaoi, even when it means they're woobifying the guy who's 100% pro slavery and pretending he's just a wet noodle silly guy who's never done anything wrong in his life.

Really, how do you read Flatland and come to the conclusion, "I love this misogynistic man?"

If you are glossing over all of the political themes of the book, and even the most basic characterization of the narrator as a raging bigot because it gets in the way of your shipping, that is in fact you being a bigot. If you take a story that is about fighting for equal rights for everyone and throw all of that away to focus solely on two white guys, that's just bigotry, plain and simple.

Especially when they're woobifying the guy who not only owns slaves, but thinks they should be starved to death to help reduce their numbers.

[elliepassmore]

Someone You Can Build a Nest In review

5/5 stars Recommended if you like: fantasy, light horror, monster main characters, LGBTQ+ characters

Big thanks to Netgalley, DAW, and the author for an ARC in exchange for an honest review!

TW: gore, animal cruelty, abuse

I definitely thought this was a novella going into this and didn't realize it wasn't until I got past all the acknowledgements, ARC stuff, and table of contents and the book was still on 1%. Most of the horror I read is in novella format, so I was a little worried I was going to end up with more than I'd bargained for, but luckily that wasn't the case!

This book definitely has gore in it, at times quite a bit, but I wouldn't really classify this as a gorey novel and, in that same vein, while Shesheshen is a monster and devours people, I wouldn't classify this book as 'horror' necessarily. I suppose it is somewhat in the same vein as The Salt Grows Heavy, though Shesheshen and the mermaid are very different. I actually thought some of the scenes of Shesheshen eating were funny at times, she has an interesting outlook to things that can be humorous.

Shesheshen herself is the only one of her kind that she knows. Her mother was killed when she was young and she devoured her siblings before they could devour her and has lived in monster solitude ever since. It's clear that her early life has a great impact on her since she wants to find someone to build a nest in who will be a better parent than her father was (and whom she views as just a setting, albeit a nice nest), how she wants to be able to be there for her offspring, and how she questions some things about her own existence since she had no one to teach her otherwise. I found Shesheshen to be interesting, particularly in the way that she can absorb items around her and utilize them to build her body's structure.

Despite being a 'monster,' Shesheshen clearly has empathy and feelings. Her best friend is a blue bear named Blueberry and the two are obviously close and Shesheshen definitely loves her. Likewise, she's able to recognize the hypocrisy of humans calling her a monster while killing what- and whoever they feel and being mean to one another. Shesheshen is also drawn to Homily's kindness and it quickly becomes clear that she has a strong protective streak when it comes to the people and things she cares about.

Homily is depicted as kindhearted and even expresses similar sentiments about hunting animals and monsters that Shesheshen does. These two are two of the things that most strongly draw Shesheshen to her. But Homily has also been through some shit and has a hard time around people as well as the tendency to let people hurt her, either in a "go along to get along" kind of way or because she thinks she deserves it. Despite this, Homily also has a strong protective streak and protects Shesheshen and others on multiple occasions.

While not a main character, I have to give a shoutout to Laurent, whom I find hilarious. May he be happily terrorized for the rest of his days.

I enjoyed reading about Shesheshen's attempts to stay close to Homily, and confess that she's the 'monster' who Homily thinks cursed her family (but definitely didn't), and how major hijinks ensue as a result of this decision. Shesheshen definitely has gotten herself into a situation here and it was funny to read her desperately attempting to outmaneuver the humans trying to hunt her down. She shows some remarkable cunning, and it's clear she has a good mind for strategy. But I did find her attempts to get out of the situation without devouring the whole hunting party to be quite hilarious.

While this is ostensibly a humorous story about a queer monster falling in love with a human, this book also tackles themes like abuse and the cycle of abuse. Shesheshen has suffered at the hands of humans who have come to kill her, which is one kind of abuse, but Homily has suffered through having a truly demonic set of family members who seem to delight in harming her, both physically and emotionally. A large part of this story is about healing from that and not falling into the same cycles, wittingly or unwittingly.

Overall I enjoyed this book and found it to be fairly light-hearted, despite its contents. There is some gore, but it's not too bad, and Shesheshen's 'monster' shenanigans are done very matter-of-factly and with a great deal of attention paid toward whether Homily would think it too weird.

[lucienarcheron]

Inspiration [ Elucien ]

Prompt: Modern AU | Aspiring writer Elain Archeron is looking for some inspiration for her new novel when she happens to meet the perfect man for the job. | Originally posted on 05.10.2022

Genre: Romance with some humor and a dash of spice 🌶 Warnings: Lots of feels?

It wasn’t strange that she, little ‘ole prim Elain, was sitting in a booth at this high-end downtown bar with a notebook and pen, people-watching. Her laptop would’ve been too obvious and she didn’t want to get distracted on her phone so an old school notebook and pen seemed like a better fit. 

So far, she'd been propositioned by three older gentlemen. While flattered, Elain wasn’t exactly sure what about her simple black dress screamed hooker. Maybe it was the lipstick. It was a gorgeous red. 

Even though it was a Wednesday night and she hadn’t expected too much action, Elain’s eyes continued to watch the room carefully. She needed all the details she could get to properly set the scene for her next novel. 

Up-and-coming romance author Elain Archeron was on a new mission with her next book. She’d written several sweet romances that had her readers on a fluff overdose sprinkled with a little steam here and there. But now, she wanted to step out of her writing comfort zone for a bit and...spice it up. 

Her next book would be a spicy mafia romance.

A small giggle escaped her as the excitement of a new plot and characters bubbled inside her. Writing had become as glorious of an outlet for her as gardening. Nesta working in publishing had given her a great doorway into the writing world and she would be damned not to take advantage of this new passion. 

So, she had dived into Pinterest and created moodboard after moodboard of what she was envisioning for this book. The plot would be a little gritty, a little darker than her usual books but Elain knew exactly how the story would unfold from start to finish. She knew how her characters would meet and be thrown together. Most importantly, she knew the tropes that would bring this story to life. Elain planned on destroying her characters in the best way and then gluing them back together again with love. 

All it needed was just a smidge more inspiration. A dose of experience to really help her write from the heart so she could turn a morally grey, murderous asshole into a swoon-worthy lover that fucked like a god. She narrowed her eyes as she scanned the room again, tapping the pen to her chin until her gaze zeroed in on a gentleman sitting at the bar, alone.

And Elain felt her heart skip a beat. 

She had noticed him as soon as he walked in and had tried not to stare at him too hard but in reality, that’s all she’d been doing since he arrived ten minutes ago. Her eyes would take in details of the room and then eventually find their way right back to him.

Currently seated, Elain knew without him needing to stand, that he was tall and well-built. Judging by the way his dress shirt hugged his magnificent back and broad shoulders, he was quite a man.

The moment she had seen his face though, she knew he was the one. His features were sharp and elegant, handsome in a way that had knocked the wind out of her. The scar she had noticed on his face when he had walked in did nothing to make him any less attractive. In fact, all Elain could think about was how perfect he was.

She bit her lip and continued to discreetly watch the beautiful stranger as he sat, frowning down at whatever message he was reading on his phone. His sleeves were rolled up to expose toned forearms and Elain felt her face flush at the way he picked up his drink and brought it to his lips to take a sip and oh, was Elain Archeron starting to feel things.

The very vanilla sex she last had with Graysen many months ago clearly did as little for her now as it had done when she had it. 

Pulling out her phone, Elain texted the group chat.

morons<3

Elain: I found him.

Rhys: That’s not ominous at all.

Cassian: Shitsen? I told you I accidentally shoved him into a locker at the gym the other day. He’s not that hard to find. 

Rhys: Because he’s ugly. You can spot him a mile away. He’s probably still in there.

Feyre: How was it an accident if Rhys was filming it?

Rhys: I was trying to film myself flexing at the gym babe. It was for you <3

Cassian: *barf emoji* Cassian: But also you can smell him a mile away too.

Rhys: Musty.

Cassian: Gnarly. 

Nesta: Can you two shut up for a moment, please?  Nesta: Elain, please don’t tell me you’re stalking someone.

Elain rolled her eyes at her phone. Typical of them to turn the conversation elsewhere or think of her as a creep.

Elain: I am not stalking anyone. I’m at a bar. I found the ONE. The man who will help me with my writing inspiration.

Feyre: ...Elain pls don’t approach a strange man for inspiration.

Elain: I’m at the Sunshine and Rose. It’s a fancy place. He’s a fancy man. Could be the mafia man I’m looking for!!

Cassian: ...Rhys is right here, Elain.

Rhys: True. I’m offended you didn’t think of me. I am a mafia man.

Elain: Well, you’re not MY mafia man.  Elain: Plus you’re not hot. Esp since you’re sleeping with my sister.  Elain: You’re really gross <3

Nesta: I knew this was about your book. Don’t do anything crazy. I can’t publish it if you cause a scandal. Do you even have your NDA?

Rhys: Still offended but valid reasoning. Rhys: And you’re wrong. I’m VERY hot.  Rhys: Feyre says so.

Cassian: I say so too, bro. You’re really hot.  Cassian: Besides, you know I’m your muscle guy, Lanie. I’m offended you didn’t think of ME.

Rhys: so honored to be validated by a sexy beast like you bro. Rhys: I’m also offended on Cassian’s behalf. We’re both offended.

Elain: Suffer in silence pls <3 Elain: Yes, I have the NDA. I am merely notifying you of my whereabouts. Elain: He’s so hot. I think I will take him home. Elain: I hope to update you after I have spent the night located beneath him!!!!

Cassian: Right on. Get that D!!!!

Rhys: Make sure you have a condom. If he says he doesn’t have one, he’s lying.

Nesta: Elain. No. Nesta: Why are you idiots encouraging her?!!!!

Feyre: Elain don’t go home with a stranger.

Elain: Elain YES. Elain: Also, don’t pretend the two idiots in this chat weren’t strangers when you took them home.

Cassian: Hottest night of my LIFE.

Rhys: Second that. I was wrecked by the sheer beauty that is my Feyre darling.

Feyre: RHYS. Can we focus on my sister trying to creep on a stranger at some bar?

Rhys: I really want to focus on you instead.

Cassian: Nesta destroyed my body and soul that night. Should’ve filed a police report but I enjoyed it too much.

Nesta: Cassian.

Cassian: Sweetheart.

Feyre: SIGH. Can you PLEASE GET IT TOGETHER?? Feyre: Elain, take a picture of his face at least.

Elain snorted then sent a kissy face emoji as her final text. She straightened, her eyes immediately zeroing in again on her target who was now watching whatever was playing on the bar tv.

Standing, she smoothed down her dress and grabbed her purse then made her way towards him.

She would be casual about it. Smooth. She would just slide onto the barstool next to him and dazzle him with a smile. Then make him talk to her first. 

Sliding up to the counter, Elain stood with a barstool between them and snuck a glance at her beautiful stranger. A jolt of pleasure coursed through her body when she found him staring back. Elain gave him a pretty smile then turned back to the bartender. 

“Hi Jerry!” she greeted with a smile. “Sick of seeing my face here yet?”

“How could I when it’s so pretty?” the older man said with a laugh and Elain chuckled along. “Let me guess, a little rosé while you do your research?”

Elain pointed at him with a grin. “You know it! My favorite kind of pink drink.” 

The bartender walked away with a chuckle and Elain took a breath, pretending not to feel his gaze on her. She fiddled with her napkin for a moment, then looked up to find the beautiful stranger watching her curiously. She arched her brow and the man glanced down at his drink with a small smile before looking back at her.

“Hi.” 

“Hello.”

They glanced at each other quietly for a moment, her cheeks heating lightly at the curve of his sensuous lips. 

“I couldn’t help overhearing what Jerry said to you,” he began and angled his body to face her. “If you don’t mind me asking, what kind of research are you doing that requires you to be at a bar on a Wednesday night?”

Elain willed her body not to shudder at the way his voice washed over her like honey. His voice. 

Oh, she would need to describe that very explicitly. 

“Well,” she began and curled a strand of hair behind her ear, angling herself to face him as well, the empty seat between them. “I’m a writer. I’m trying to set the scene for my novel.” 

His face lit in interest and Elain took a moment to openly admire him. Up close, he was even more handsome than she imagined. His eyes were such a distinct color, she was itching to grab her pen to describe them. The scar was even more striking up close and Elain desperately wanted to touch it. 

“Ah, I see. What kind of stories do you write?”

“I’m a romance writer.” She said with pride and grinned at the chuckle that slipped from his lips. 

“Are you trying to write about two strangers meeting at a bar?” he teased. “Love at first sight?”

She rolled her eyes with a good-natured smile. “No. I’m writing something very different.” 

“Is that so?” he asked and leaned back to observe her. “So the story isn’t going to be about me then?”

Elain laughed. “That depends.” she said with a cute head tilt. “Has anyone ever told you, you look like you could be a mobster?”

The man stilled and blinked then let out a hearty laugh. “No.” he replied, amusement lacing his tone. “But what if I was an actual henchman in the mob? You just put a target on your back.”

Elain snorted and shot him a look. “A henchman in the mob wouldn’t say he was.” she replied knowingly. “You probably do something boring in marketing.”

“PR actually. Not quite as boring.” he said with a smile and raised the drink in salute. “But we can pretend I’m your mobster. I’m already wearing suspenders.”

Elain laughed, shaking her head with a smile. “All you need is a gun holster and a cigar then the look would be complete.”

He waved a hand. “Noted. Give me ten minutes, and I’ll show you the complete look.”

“Is that so? So eagerly giving away your secrets.”

“Sure. You’ve already uncovered my identity. I can’t risk my reputation now. First impressions are everything.”

Elain rolled her eyes, pleased he was following along with her conversation even as he was joking. She watched him as he watched her, doing her best not to shudder under his gaze. She only took her eyes off him when Jerry returned with her drink.

“So.” her handsome stranger started. “What’s the name of your mafia man?”

“That also depends. What’s your name?” she asked boldly and was pleased to see color bloom on his cheeks.

His lips curled into a smile. “I thought you said the story wouldn’t be about me.”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself now.” she said and he grinned. “All I asked was your name.”

“My name is Lucien.” he said. “And yours?”

“Elain.”  

“Do you always just walk up and start talking to strangers like this, Elain?”

“You’re the one who started talking to me.” she said with a cheeky grin and Lucien couldn’t help his laugh.

“Fair enough.” he said and raised his drink, taking a sip as his eyes roved over her body. “Couldn’t really help myself.”

Elain smiled, taking a sip of her own drink before she tilted her head sweetly and said, “Since you can’t help yourself do you mind if I pull out my notebook and jot down some ideas. If I don’t write them down, I will lose the thought.”

Amusement colored his face and he waved a hand. “By all means.”

Grinning, Elain quickly took out her notepad and pen, and then so shamelessly, her eyes cataloged every single inch of him. She savored every detail of his facial features, the way he was dressed, and the way he held himself. She watched him as he watched her until finally, Lucien was the first one to look away with a laugh.

“It’s the scar, isn’t it?”

“Oh, the scar is beautiful but it’s your eyes I’m focused on,” she said and quickly jot down her initial thoughts. “They’re a lovely shade. You also have a great nose.” 

“You’re giving off real weird vibes right now.” he finally said, his cheeks a lovely shade of red that Elain was eager to describe. “But I can’t say I’m not into it.”

Looking up from her notebook, Elain flushed with a laugh. “Well, it definitely helps that I’m pretty.”

Lucien grinned. “It absolutely helps.”

She fought back a grin but failed when he shot her a knowing look. “You flatter me, sir.” she said sweetly. “All I’m trying to do is write me a good ‘ole fashion mafia romance. I can’t help what kind of questions emerge to get inspiration.”

“Mafia romance, huh?” he asked and leaned in, a finger tracing the rim of his glass, and Elain’s eyes immediately followed the movement. “What kind of inspiration are you looking for then?”

This made Elain pause and watch him silently for a moment. She couldn’t exactly just blurt out that she wanted him to fuck her so hard she saw stars. To manhandle her just a little bit. 

Her eyes flickered to his very nice, very big hands then back to his face. 

That would be weird. She took a sip of her drink.

“Well,” she began carefully. “My romances have typically been tamer than what this one is but the market is really seeing an increase of love for more…intimate romances. I want to give it a shot.”

Lucien’s brows rose and Elain watched as a shit-eating grin formed on his face. “Is that so?”

“Yes.” she said slowly. “You see…I’ve only had minimal experience in that department.”

His brows rose. “Impossible.”

Elain nodded somewhat sadly. “Unfortunately, yes.”

“What kind of men have you been seeing?” he asked in such an offended tone, Elain flushed.

“Well. It was one guy.” she replied. “And he was more boy than man.”

Lucien’s face blanked and it took him a moment to speak. “Do you mind sharing his name? And home address?” he said calmly. “Asking for a friend.”

Elain laughed. “And you say you’re not a mobster?” she said and Lucien had the audacity to shrug with a small smile. “But no need. My sisters and their partners gave him enough grief. I’m pretty sure he has a restraining order against us.”

“If he had you and put you in a position where you have to look for inspiration elsewhere, he needs a good thrashing.” he replied. “Please, let me speak to my associates about him.”

Elain bit back a grin. “Your associates.”

“Gotta check with the big guy before we order a hit.” he said, having no issues grinning widely and Elain couldn’t help the hearty laugh that escaped her. 

“Well now, that’s very nice of you to offer.” she replied then paused before Elain gave him a coy smile. “But it’s not really the area I need inspiration for.”

He watched her silently for a moment and even as she felt her cheeks flush, Elain kept her gaze locked on his, watching as his eyes darkened. Then a slow smirk blessed his beautiful face.

“So if you don’t want me to use my associates to give someone a good thrashing,” he asked quietly. “How can I help you with your inspiration, Elain?”

Elain bit her lip, cataloging every detail of his toned body seating opposite her, every article of clothing, and every inch of his handsome face. Was she bold enough to tell him exactly what she wanted from him? Was it safe? Or was she being insane?

“Cat got your tongue?” he said, his voice low. “Or are you just trying to find a good way to ask me to fuck you senseless?”

Elain straightened and clenched her thighs together as she gaped at him. He clocked the movement and his smirk widened.

Letting out a chuckle, he took a sip of his drink and Elain watched him swallow, thinking about how she’d really like to lick his neck. 

“All you have to do is ask, love.” he continued. “I wasn’t planning on going home with a beautiful girl tonight but I am more than happy to change those plans.”

Elain watched him carefully. Did she? Should she?

“Well.” she stated and cleared her throat delicately. “What were your plans then? Being alone in this bar on a Wednesday night? One would think you’re up to no good.”

“I’m an angel.” he said in that low tone that told her he was anything but.

“Sounds like a sweet, sweet lie.”

He laughed. “Can’t a mafia man blow off some steam in a bar once in a while?” he said with a shrug and Elain rolled her eyes with a smile. 

“So just letting off some steam?”

“Yes. But I’m happy to find myself doing other things instead.”

Elain tapped her glass, her heart beating wildly as she watched him watch her. Good lord, she was already sweating. Was it because she was sex-deprived? Was it all the mafia and smutty books she’d been reading lately for inspiration that was getting to her? She was really going to ask this strange beautiful man to fuck her. 

Granted, he seemed eager. Which was great for her ego but…

“I want to be very clear about something.” she finally said. 

“Yes?” he asked with a raised brow and cocky grin. 

“This is all in the name of research.” she declared. “And research only.”

“Of course.” he said. “I’ve gone home with pretty girls for much less noble causes.”

Elain’s lips twitched. “And you’ll need to sign an NDA.”

His brows shot up. “An NDA?” he said. “How very Christian Grey of you to have me sign a contract.”

“To protect myself and you.” she said simply. “I can’t have you running around telling people I was propositioning you.”

“Isn’t that what you’re doing?” he said with a smirk.

“Need I remind you that you asked me how you could help me?” she said with her own little smirk. 

He hummed and Elain smiled.

“If I never mentioned I was a writer and looking for inspiration, would you still want to take me home?” she asked boldly. It wasn’t like she could embarrass herself further at this point. “Be honest, my feelings won’t get hurt if you say no.”

“Elain,” he began and her heart thumped at the curve of his lips when he said her name. “Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t have already had you in my home doing unspeakably delicious things to you.”

She flushed in delight. She couldn’t help it. Elain knew she was pretty but after her horrible breakup and the way Graysen had broken down her confidence in herself, it was nice to hear it. 

Also, she really needed to write that line down.

“Anyone ever tell you, you have a way with words?” she asked and he grinned.

“A high compliment from a writer.” he replied. “But I also have a question for you.”

“Yes?”

“We could've just flirted, went home together, and had a great time without you telling me about the writing part.” he said, his finger tapping against the glass. “Why tell me?”

Elain’s brows furrowed. “Because you have a right to know. I like being honest about these things.” she said. “Granted, as a writer, anything I hear or see is up for use as inspiration.”

He hummed softly, watching her. “Have you written about your ex?”

She flushed, frowning slightly. “Only once but shitty ex-boyfriends are common in romance reads.” she replied then shrugged. “And it was more about the way my character felt than about her crappy ex.”

Lucien nodded sagely. “Understandable.” 

Elain straightened suddenly. “Has this weirded you out?” she asked and blinked at him with wide eyes. “I usually curb my weirdness to close friends and family only, I just haven’t interacted with a real man like this in a while.”

“A real man?” he asked, amusement lacing his tone and Elain promptly wanted to die.

“I mean — “ she started with a flush, taking a quick sip of her drink. “I’m a writer and reader. I spent a lot of time with fictional men.”

“Ah. And those are infinitely better than real men, I take it?”

She gave him a small smile. “Most of the time.”

It fell silent between them and Elain watched him as he watched her. Now that she’d finally stopped talking, embarrassment was slowly starting to catch up to her. She had fought with herself tooth and nail to not feel bad about herself and her quirky personality but at times like this, it crept up. When she forgot herself and forgot that not everyone liked her as she was.

Graysen had ridiculed her so much about her writing. Once he had gotten to know her, he pretty much ridiculed everything she did but especially her writing. Anytime she’d ask him a question or about his thoughts, he never had anything nice to say. He always laughed at her and her silly little ideas.

“Stick to your plants, it’s what you’re good at.” he had sneered at her when she had first told him she’d written a book. Elain had been so excited to share. It had been so hard to keep it a secret from everyone but he had only given her an unimpressed look and said, “Isn’t Nesta the one into books? Keep to your own thing, Elain.”

Maybe she’d gotten carried away in this little game. Elain had only wanted to have a little fun. She could use her imagination and Pinterest and other books for inspiration. She didn’t need to keep embarrassing herself. This was weird. Sure, she wanted to have some of that good sex that everyone else keeps talking about for once but she could probably do it without all this. She could’ve just gone with him without saying a single thing and —

“Show me the NDA.”

Elain blinked, focusing back at the very handsome man across from her. “What?”

He gave her a simple smile. “Either you’re overthinking this really hard or…your mind went down the gutter faster than mine did.” he said. “And if it’s the latter, I assure you, my gutter is much, much worse.”

Elain’s cheeks heated. “Big words for a mafia man that’s not a mafia man.” she said with a small chuckle.

Lucien’s lips curled into a smirk. “Elain.” he started. “The moment you sat across from me with your pretty face and pretty dress, I knew we would have a good time together.” She watched as his finger tapped the side of his glass and then met his gaze. “You seem like the kind of girl who likes being told what to do but doesn’t know it yet.” He leaned forward and her breath hitched. “Lucky for you, I love telling people what to do. Especially in my bedroom.”

His hand left his glass and instead of letting his finger trace the rim of his glass, it was now lightly tracing Elain’s hand.

“And to answer your earlier question, I am not weirded out.” he said, the corner of his mouth lifting. “I find you and this entire conversation fascinating.”

Elain blinked, her gaze on his hand touching hers and she wondered if one could orgasm from hand touching alone. “Right.”

“You’re clearly passionate about what you do.” he said in that charming voice of his, gently turning over her hand so that his fingers could slide across her palm to her wrist and settle on the pulse point.

“Very passionate.” she said quietly, her eyes still on his long, beautiful fingers.

“Then give me the NDA. So I can sign it and take you home.” Lucien continued. “Where I can fuck you the way you deserve.”

Elain’s head shot up and she met his eyes. “That’s awfully straightforward of you.”

“Just as straightforward as you aimed to be, I imagine.”

She finally remembered herself and shrugged, a coy smile blooming on her face. “I just came here to look for inspiration.”

Lucien flattened his hand over hers and Elain flushed at the way her hand was dwarfed beneath his. “I daresay, I can help you with that.”

She swallowed. “And how are you so sure of that?”

Lucien glanced at her for a moment then slowly slid off his barstool to stand before her. He towered over her slightly and Elain relished in the way he stood so close. His hand left hers and instead, his fingers found their way to gently lift her chin to meet his gaze.

“I’m sure of that because,” he began quietly and leaned closer until he was a breath away from her lips. “I felt your pulse jump when I touched you.” His hand slid from her jaw down the column of her neck. “I feel it in the way you swallow.” That same hand cupped the back of her neck and Elain shuddered beneath his gaze and touch. “And I guarantee if I slid my hand beneath your little black dress, between those lovely thighs, I’d find something hot and wet waiting for me.”

Elain’s lips parted in surprise, her skin hot all over. His words had slid across her skin and down her spine and good lord, if he only knew how soaked she’d become. Gooseflesh erupted on her skin when his thumb traced the column of her neck and she tried not to be too obvious in inhaling the scent of him. 

“What do you think of that, Elain?” he said with a devilish smile that she knew would be impossible to describe because it was distinctly him. This stranger she met in a bar. This stranger that felt like no stranger at all.

She was thinking she wanted him to lay her right here across this bar and have his way with her. Elain was thinking she’d probably let him do things to her she never thought she’d let a man do. Except for this one. Because Lucien sure as hell seemed like the type to want to do those things to her. 

“I’m thinking,” she began and swallowed, her skin heating at the smirk he gave her. “That I’d really like you to kiss me.”

“It’s a good thing you mentioned that,” he replied quietly. “Because I’ve been dying to smear that lipstick.”

With the hand holding her neck, Lucien tugged her forward and devoured her. Elain whimpered against him, against his surprisingly soft lips as he kissed her, his kiss bruising — hard — a claiming and she let him claim her. Her hands found their way to his suspenders and she tugged him closer, her grip tightening when his free hand cupped the back of her head and his other hand slid to trace the column of her neck again. When she felt his tongue, Elain eagerly opened for him and Lucien stole kisses as he stole her breath. He kissed her, his mouth nipping, biting, and imprinting his lips on hers. And when Elain had fully melted against him, fully surrendered to his mouth and tongue and hands, when he had her gripping his suspenders tightly enough that her knuckles had turned white, did Lucien finally pull away.

He most definitely had smeared her lipstick, she thought as she glanced at him in a slight daze. Half of her lipstick was on his lips. He had the audacity to grin wickedly at her.

“Now that I’ve satisfied your request, should we be on our way?” he asked calmly as if he hadn’t just scrambled her brains with that kiss. She hadn’t been kissed like that since — since well, since ever. 

Elain blinked, catching her breath, her hands still clutching him tightly. She wanted to let go, she really knew she should but the feeling of his body beneath those suspenders caused her to shudder.

“I need to take a picture of your face.” she finally said. “For my sisters.”

He smiled, his hands smoothing her hair back. “Would you like me to grab your phone? Your hands seem a little occupied.”

She flushed and aimed to let go when his hands settled over hers. “Don’t let go just yet.” he said quietly. “I like your hands there.”

If possible, her flush deepened. And, oh she was feeling a lot of things at the moment. She kept her hands where they were and said somewhat hoarsely, “My phone is in my purse.”

Lucien’s lips twitched and he moved a hand to slip inside her purse, the other still covering the hand locked on his suspenders. He held up her phone to unlock it with the Face ID then glanced at the screen, his face lit up in amusement. 

“I assume the group chat titled Morons is the one you’ll be sending my picture to.” he said, his thumb stroking the back of her hand still holding on to him. 

Finally shaken out of her stupor, Elain cleared her throat and licked her lips. Her lips that still tingled just a little from the force of his lips on hers. She flushed and suppressed a giggle. “Yes.” she said and released one suspender, leaving her other hand happily held hostage beneath his. “It’s my sisters and my brothers-in-law.” 

“Let’s take a selfie then, shall we?” he teased and Elain pursed her lips, willing herself not to smile. Or launch herself at him again. 

He turned his back to her, and kept her hand locked beneath his so it looked like Elain was hugging him from the side. Raising the phone, Lucien grinned and Elain couldn’t help her own smile at the camera. Snapping the photo, the two inspected it together and Elain laughed at the clear evidence of their makeout.

“Oh, they’re going to have a hoot with this.” she mumbled. “Send it.” 

Lucien tugged her into him closer so that she hugged his back and he glanced over his shoulder at her. “You okay with me opening your group chat?”

She would be okay with him opening anything, but most especially her legs. Rather than embarrass herself further by saying that, she only nodded and watched him open the text chain, chuckle, then attach the image and send it.

Elain: *attached image* Found my mafia man ;)

“I didn’t say that.” she objected and Lucien twisted to face her with a knowing look. 

“You were absolutely going to text that.”

She was. But she wouldn’t admit it. Squinting at him, she opened her mouth to respond when her phone pinged and Lucien arched a brow.

“Do you want me to open that?”

“Nope.” she said quickly as several pings followed. “They can’t be trusted to behave themselves.” Finally, tugging herself away from him, she held out her hand for her phone. “Especially with how many texts are coming in, these assholes could be saying anything.”

“Well, it hardly seems fair that I can’t read what’s being said about me.” 

“I think we can find other ways to fill our time.” she said and instantly felt the shift in him.

“Ah, yes.” he said quietly. “Your research.”

“Yes. My — research.”

Lucien chuckled lightly and Elain watched as he glanced at her, his thumb coming up to gently graze her cheek. “Are you having second thoughts? Do you need me to kiss you again?”

Her cheeks heated as she watched his expression. She was very nearly ready to have him take her right then and there. “No second thoughts but I definitely, definitely think you should kiss me again.���

“And where would you like me to kiss you, my lady?” he asked, his voice dropping low and Elain had to swallow hard. She was past embarrassment at this point. She wanted to feel and be seen and touched. And god damn did she want this man between her legs in whatever way he was willing to be.

“Everywhere.” she answered. “I want you to kiss me everywhere.”

Lucien’s grin was wolfish at her response. “Well, aren’t you a good girl.” he said in that voice she would have a grand time describing. “You gave me the exact answer I wanted to hear.”

~ 

morons<3

Feyre: Oh…oh wow Elain.

Nesta: Well, that was fast.

Cassian: YOOOOOO

Cassian: RHYSSSSSS

Rhys: yo isn’t that Spell-Cleaver?

Cassian: iT’S FUCKEN LUCIEN

Cassian: love that guy he’s hilarious

Rhys: Holy shit it is Lucien

Feyre: You guys know him???? Feyre: Is he a normal person???

Nesta: He already has her lipstick on him. Nesta: Is she going to be safe with him?

Rhys: Oh yeah. He’s a good dude. Rhys: I remember him from uni days Rhys: We did business with his company a while back too. Straight forward, cool guy. 

Cassian: We see him in Az’s bar sometimes.  Cassian: But yo. Wasn’t he like, a hoe in college? Cassian: Elain is about to get her world rocked.

Nesta: CASSIAN.

Feyre: Cassian no.

Cassian: WHAT.  Cassian: I’m just saying based on the rumors we heard 

Rhys: Elain is def going to have a good time.

Cassian: Lulu is foxy in bed

Rhys: Gentleman on the streets

Cassian: freak in the sheets. Cassian:: AYYYYY

Rhys: AYYYYY

Feyre: I hate you both.

Nesta: I’m going to stab both of you in the throat the next time I see you.

Cassian: *smirk emoji* *heart emoji*

Nesta: *knife emoji*

Feyre: At least he’s hot. He really does give off mob vibes with that scar.

Rhys: You can’t say that Feyre darling. I’m right here.

Feyre: *middle finger emoji*

Nesta: I wonder if he’d be willing to be on the cover if he shows Elain a good time.

Feyre: I think so. He so willingly took the picture and gave his full name.

Nesta: He is attractive. His face would sell it. Nesta: Feyre. Nesta: FEYRE. Nesta: Her hand. Look at where her hand is.

Feyre: Oh…OKAY ELAIN.  Feyre: I like that he’s wearing suspenders. That’s attractive.

Rhys: Cassian. My feels are hurt bro.

Cassian: my feels are hurt too bro. they’re just ignoring us.

Feyre: Nes, take out tomorrow for deets?

Nesta: Yes, I want Chinese while grilling her.

Rhys: I’ll bring the drinks.

Nesta: You’re not invited. 

Cassian: Can you order me the dumplings?

Feyre: You’re also not invited.

Nesta: Sisters only. *X emoji* Nesta: I’ll bring us those nice face masks.

Cassian: I want a face mask.

Feyre: no<3

Rhys: But I love me a good face mask too.

Nesta: No. *middle finger emoji*

Cassian: Nes, if I let you peg me, can I come for face masks and chinese?

Nesta: for fucks sake cassian.

Rhys: HAHA

Feyre: god damn it Cassian

Rhys: I mean, Feyre darling if that’s what gets me a face mask and the tea…*smirk emoji*

Nesta: you’re both disgusting.

Feyre: *eyes roll emoji* No. Feyre: unless? *side eye emoji*

Nesta: FEYRE

Elain had finally stumbled home the following afternoon after being fucked six ways to Sunday and found her sisters waiting for her with face masks, food, and wide eyes. Elain only grinned sheepishly and slumped against her door.

“I’m glad you’re alive.” Nesta said dryly and Elain waved her off with a hand, her grin wide on her face.

“That good, huh?” Feyre asked with her own grin.

“Yes.” she breathed, still thinking about Lucien and what he had done to her. At the way he had kissed her and touched her and fucked her. It hadn’t been good. It had been great.

Elain couldn’t remember a time she had been so enthusiastic to have someone fuck her. Then again, she had had only one partner, and even in her fantasies, it hadn’t been like that. Elain bit her lip as a blush bloomed on her cheeks, her mind drifting back to a night like nothing she’d ever experienced before…

~

“I’m going to take, and take, and take from you, Elain.” he had whispered in her ear darkly. “And then my god am I going to give you. You understand?”

“Yes.”

“You’re going to be a good girl for me?” he had asked her while his hands caressed her bare skin. “Will you be the best girl for me? Because if you are, I’m going to make you come so hard you’ll see stars.”

“I’ll be the best girl.” she whispered and shuddered when his lips had kissed and licked their way down her neck, to her collarbones, and then to her exposed breasts. Her hands had come up to immediately cover them, flushing lightly as he looked up at her, quirking a brow in question.

“They’re — they’re small.” she said and Lucien shot her a look so disapproving, she thought he’d spank her. 

He had spanked her later on but at that moment, his hands had cupped one gently, and giving her one last look, his mouth descended on the other. Elain’s moans were breathy as he sucked and squeezed her breasts, switching between the two. He had only pulled away to ask her in a husky voice, “You like my mouth right here? Because I love these pretty things so much.”

A strangled cry was the only reply she could give when he bit down on one gently and squeezed the other. Then switched and did it again. The sound that came out of her mouth had him pulling away with a smirk.

“Such sounds coming out of that lovely mouth.” he whispered, kissing the valley between her breasts. “You’re going to take my cock in your pretty little pussy and come when I tell you to?” he asked softly, sliding his hands up and smoothing back her hair. “Because I want to fuck you very, very hard, Elain. May I do that, please?”

She knew he could feel the wetness that pooled between her legs at the words and resisted the urge to arch against him. “I’ll take whatever you want to give me.” she breathed.

“You’re just an angel, aren’t you?” he whispered and left a light kiss on her lips. “So ready for me to use you and then take care of you. You want me to take care of you?”

“Please.” she nearly begged. “Please take care of me.”

“Then spread your legs a little wider for me, love. Let me see you in all your glory.”

And take care of her he had. 

It was like Lucien was made for Elain and Elain was made for Lucien.

After he had worshipped her between her legs, he lined himself up to her entrance with her legs around his waist, and Lucien watched her face as he slid into her the first time. And that moment, the moment he had filled her up to the hilt…Lucien knew this was different. Elain knew she wouldn’t be the same. The way he fit her had Elain never wanting to be without his cock again. And by the gods, had she wanted to feel how he fit her without a condom and have his come spill out of her.

Which would be insane of course, considering they had only met that evening. But these feelings, these intense emotions. Oh, she had all the inspiration she needed. 

It had only gotten better from there. He had flipped her over and feasted on her again before taking her hard and fast from behind. 

Elain never thought she’d be the kind of girl who enjoyed her face being pushed into the mattress like that but when it was Lucien’s hands holding her and his cock fucking her, she found she liked it a little too much.

And she also found that she liked it even more when he talked to her. In between their rigorous activities, they took breaks to chat and get to know the person they were baring themselves to. 

Elain found she liked Lucien and the way his mind worked a lot. Lucien found he felt the same about Elain.

And then Elain found she really wanted to suck the cock that made her feel so good. She had crawled toward him on his bed and draped herself across his legs, blinking up at him innocently.

“I want to make you feel good too.” she had whispered and Lucien had smiled at her, brushing her hair to the side.

“And how do you want to do that?”

“By taking you in my mouth.”

“No, you need to phrase that better, love.” he commanded softly, his thumb sliding across her bottom lip. “How do you want to make me feel good?”

“By sucking your cock.” she answered breathlessly. “I want you to come in my mouth.”

“It’s a good thing I want to come in your mouth too, princess.” he replied and then sat back, a king on his throne of a bed. “Show me what a good girl can do with that pretty mouth.”

And Elain certainly had, savoring the way he swore, the way his hands had tightened in her hair, and the way he barely held it together while her tongue played with him, especially as her own wetness dripped down her legs. Lucien had spilled in her mouth with such intensity, come had spilled down the sides of her mouth. She had swallowed as much as she could, like the good girl she wanted to be for him and Lucien’s grin had been feral at the sight.

Shortly after, he had spread her legs and returned the favor with his mouth and fingers then flipped her over and took her from behind a second time, pulling her up, his fist wrapped around her hair. “Look at your pretty swollen cunt, flower.” he had growled in her ear as she whined and panted to the rhythm of his thrusts. “You’re doing so good. It’s a perfect fit for my cock.”

“Please.” she had begged. As if he hadn’t been giving her everything she wanted and more. 

Lucky for Elain, Lucien had wanted to keep giving and taking. It was well in the AM that Elain had been fucked in every corner of his bedroom. She had come riding his dick and his face and his cock again, flopping rather unattractively on his bed with a little whimper after what she thought was the final fucking.

He had chuckled, his hands gently caressed her back and Lucien had paused for just a moment then smacked her plump little ass firmly. He had given her just one moment of reprieve then — a ragged cry escaped her lips as he pulled her hips back towards him, pulling her ass up the way he wanted. “I’m sorry, flower. I thought we were done but then your pretty little pussy —” he started as his hands slid to play with her and Elain couldn’t help the rocking of her hips against his fingers. Or the little needy moan that escaped her lips at how sensitive she was. “ — looks like it needs my cock one more time.” He had whispered and pulled his hand away so he squeezed her ass instead and slid it soothingly up her spine, his other hand fisting his cock slowly. “I love my hand on your throat,” he continued in his ear, and she shuddered against him. “But I love your face pressed in my sheets and the sweet, sweet sounds you make. What would you like?”

Elain had only arched her hips further for him and turned her head to meet his gaze. “Whatever you want to do.” she breathed. “I’m all yours.”

With a wolfish grin, Lucien had pulled her lips to his for a searing kiss and thrust into her to the hilt once more. He had told her she had one more orgasm in her and just like a good little girl, she obliged. 

Elain hadn’t remembered her name or anything about herself for the rest of that night. She only knew that she was in the arms of a man who had her body trembling in need and pleasure. Pleasure he had given her all night, pleasure he had given her the morning after he had made her breakfast, and pleasure he had given her right until he sent her home.

She had kissed him goodbye, her hand on the doorknob when his hand had slid up her dress and he had pushed her panties to the side, rubbing his fingers in the wetness of her heated center. He thrust two fingers inside her with a pleased hum.

“One more time before you go.” He had whispered in her ear as she braced herself against his door and rocked her hips to match the thrust of his fingers. “So I can savor your taste until I get you to myself again.”

She had made a desperate, filthy little noise as he played with her and pumped his fingers into her. He had whispered such dirty things in her ear and Elain had slumped against the door as she came with a choked cry. Lucien had only chuckled when he pulled away, his eyes locked on hers as he licked his fingers clean. 

Elain had left his house on shaking legs and her legs nearly started shaking again just reliving the memories.

“Well, shit. He must’ve really rocked your world.” Feyre said with a cackle and Elain blinked, her blush deepening as she finally remembered she was back at her apartment with her sisters waiting on her. Waiting on her to explain and not on her knees in front of Lucien and letting him do whatever he wanted to her.

Her sisters shared a look, both clearly holding back more laughs but Elain…well, she knew she had gotten all the inspiration she needed. Inspiration and maybe…maybe something more.

“Are you seeing him again?” Nesta asked, quirking a brow.

“For dinner tomorrow night.” she whispered. “And then for a date he’s planning the day after.”

“And more fucking, I presume?” Feyre asked, her lips twitching.

“Definitely more fucking.” Nesta added on with a snort at Elain’s flushed face.

“If I’m lucky.” was Elain’s reply and she straightened, feeling the effects of Lucien everywhere. “And I think I’m going to be very, very lucky.”

[lewmagoo]

⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ ringing in the new year ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

here’s to 2022

what a year it’s been. among everything that has taken place, one of the best decisions i made was creating this blog. in my 13+ years in fandom and different writing communities, none of them have ever been as warm or welcoming as this one. the response my writing has gotten has been overwhelming in the best way. many of you are so quick to leave comments and words of encouragement and it means more than you could ever know.

as a thank you for all the love and support, i wanted to highlight some of my favorite fics of the year. this is by no means an extensive list, and i'm sure i will miss some, because there's no way i could highlight every single great story i've read. there are too many fantastic writers in this community for me to do so.

without further adieu:

leah's 2022 library

robert floyd fics

my love, forever collection by @robertcallsignbobfloyd - this series is heart wrenching and beautiful. i find myself thinking about it again from time to time and wishing i could read it from the beginning all over again and experience all the emotions it made me feel for the first time. truly a masterpiece.

navy boy, country girl by @clints-lucky-arrow - this fic turned my world upside down, let me tell you. i love the idea of bob as a cowboy. and the line "But I hear that you’ve become quite the cowgirl. So, do what you do best, darlin’. Ride." quite literally sent me into another plane of existence. such a sexy story. delicious, really.

weather the storm by @wildbornsiren - this is such a sweet story. heartbreaking in the best way. this line: He nods, and you can feel the wet spot on your shirt from his tears. “You’re a safe place.” truly touched me deep within my soul. just a wonderful piece of writing, truly.

morning after by @mothdruid - this one is just too good. little bit of humor sprinkled throughout. also, great proponent of the #bobfucks agenda. i had such a good time reading this, and often find myself rereading it.

no shame by @beachbabey - i really have no words. just, bob with a mommy kink. what more could you ask for? gosh it's just such a fun read, and the way he's just so subby and sweet the whole time? i could die

the phone call by @sebsxphia - the anguish in this story is just so heart wrenching. it's short and to the point but manages to make you feel so many emotions at once while reading it. such a good, angsty read

rhett abbott fics

the trouble with books by @hederasgarden - god this is just so HOT. got me all flustered and warm under the collar. it never gets old, even after i've read it multiple times. i can't even describe how much i loved every minute of it (as well as part 2), you just have to read it for yourself and see.

stand by your man by @a-reader-and-a-writer - so, so good. such a great depiction of hurt/comfort. also does a great job of showcasing rhett's stubbornness. i reread this from time to time and always enjoy myself.

horsemanship by @bradshawsbitch - one of my all time favorite rhett fics! i love, love, love the idea of rhett owning a stubborn mare who only likes him and no one else. god it just makes my heart sing. i will forever adore the idea that he is soft with animals. anyway, this entire story was just such a wonderful read.

please by @h0neyfire - this is just delicious. i enjoyed every minute. just the thought of breaking rhett down and getting him all needy and desperate and pliant for you? fuck, i need to lie down.

bradley bradshaw fics

running series by @lcahwriter - this series will forever be one of my favorites. the way trauma is portrayed in this story is so gripping. sometimes, stories like this can sometimes be over dramatic or sensationalized, but this story is none of those things. very tastefully done. the moment i read the first part i was hooked.

skyrockets in flight, afternoon delight by @gretagerwigsmuse - if i were to truly say how this fic made me feel, it would just be a bunch of unintelligible keyboard smashing, because holy shit. it's so damn sexy. one of those stories you can't stop thinking about long after you've read it.

the better man by @bradshawsbaby - i really loved the way the tables were turned in this story. usually it's bradley defending the reader from some asshole's unwanted attention, but this showcased what might take place if it were the other way around and bradley's girl was defending him. such an enjoyable piece, i had such a good time reading it.

idle time by @hangmanbrainrot - the angst in this story just touches something deep within my soul. such a great depiction of bradley's struggles while he has time off. it was something so relatable and personal to me.

jake seresin fics

i and love and you by @halfway-happyyy - this one hurt so good. the way hurt and betrayal is portrayed in this is so emotionally stirring. this story fully made me cry as i was reading it. so worth the read.

who did this to you? by @justfandomwritings - this is probably one of my favorite stories born out of the who did this to you? trope. the situation is portrayed so well. it's not over the top either. very well done.

fair game by @sunlightmurdock - when i tell you this one knocked me the fuck out!!! my jaw dropped. SO good. if you love drama you will LOVE this. jake is such a bitch and it's wonderful.

if devotion is a river (then i'm floating away) by @seasonsbloom - i'm at a bit of a loss for words with this one. it is truly breathtaking. every time i read it, it's like i'm reading it for the first time all over again. it's like reading poetry. absolutely wonderful.

there are so many more i could mention, but this post would never end if i did so, so i'll keep it brief. thank you all for your contributions. such talented, talented people.

extra shoutout to my lovely mutuals 🥰

@withahappyrefrain @wildbornsiren @rhettabbotts @roosterforme @roostache @robertcallsignbobfloyd @rooster-bradshaw @thesluttyarchivist @theharddeck @topguncortez @top-gun-rooster @imjess-themess @sebsxphia @sunlightmurdock @shouldershimmycity @floyd-luvr @gretagerwigsmuse @glodessa @halfway-happyyy @hangmanapologist @hausofobsession @hangmanbrainrot @lcahwriter @victoriapedrcttis @bobfloydsbabe @bussyslayer333 @bebetriste @notyoursbutlewis @notroosterbradshaw @mothdruid @mayhem24-7forever @milesmillergf ✨

[cupids-chronicles]

Hades X Persephone Saga: A Touch of Ruin #2

Author: Scarlett St. Clair

Genre: Romance, Fantasy, Mythology

My Rating: ⭐⭐/5.

Spice: 🌶🌶🌶

Goodreads rating: 3.8/5

Pages: ‎‎448

Published: 22 April 2020

A Touch of ruin Review

Note: This book is intended for mature audiences over the age of 18 due to explicit content (steamy chapters).

Sequels. They're a tricky business, aren’t they? To quote an entirely different universe: with great power comes great responsibility. After finishing the first book one would assume that the sequel would carry the same electricity. Spoiler alert: it doesn’t.

If you ever imagined the powerful Queen of the Underworld, Persephone, being chased by paparazzi in high heels and a toxic taste in relationships, then "A Touch of Ruin" is just the novel for you. At 448 pages, Scarlett St. Clair presents us with the much-awaited sequel to "A Touch of Darkness", and I’ll be frank: I have some feelings.

To start with the positive, Scarlett St. Clair's writing is, as always, engrossing. Whether you love or hate the story, you can't deny that she has a way with words that just pulls you in. I was captivated, even as I rolled my eyes. My favourite line, “Create the life you want, Persephone, and stop listening to everyone else,” echoes throughout the book as Persephone struggles with external and internal pressures.

However, it seems like our Protagonist, Persephone took a detour through Teen Angst Town and stayed there. Throughout the novel, her behavior is erratic, impulsive, and well, very human. That's not necessarily a bad thing, but for someone who's on the way to becoming the Queen of the Underworld, one would hope for a bit more maturity.

Hades, on the other hand, while alluring with his mysterious persona in the first novel, now seems more like a puzzled lover than the powerful god of the dead. Their relationship seems to rely more on makeup sex than actual communication. And this tragic lack of communication results in some utterly avoidable drama.

The plot, if we can find it between the lustful gazes and angst-filled outbursts, seemed lost. There were several subplots that felt more like distractions than genuine additions to the story. This series had such potential to delve deep into Greek mythology, but instead, it often felt like it was skimming the surface, using familiar names without embodying the weight they carry.

However, not everything is a miss in this book. The secondary characters shine bright, providing some much-needed humor and depth. Hermes, with his sass, was a much-needed palette cleanser, and Apollo, once you warm up to him, offers layers that make you question your initial judgments. It's these characters, alongside the hints of a more enticing plot for the upcoming book, that will likely have me (somewhat masochistically) coming back for more.

In conclusion, while "A Touch of Ruin" does justice to its title with the chaos it presents, it does remind readers of the pitfalls of love, the weight of insecurity, and the importance of, well, good communication.

If you're here for the drama, angst, and a sprinkling of Greek gods in modern settings, dive in. Just maybe keep a stress ball handy. And for those looking for a deep dive into Greek mythology, perhaps look elsewhere, or at least manage your expectations. For now, I'll be waiting to see if Persephone finds her way in the next installment or if we'll be plunged further into ruin.

P.S. Scarlett, if you ever wanted to write this series in Hermes' POV let me know because I am HERE for it. Maybe some of the humor and sass will bring some light into the dark (pun intended) story that you've woven.

Please note that this book is part of a series and can not be read as a stand alone. Lucky for you this can be your little weekend binge as almost all the books in the series has already been released !

Wait a minute boys and girls, check out these trigger warnings first:

Kidnapping

Mental illness

Sexual Assault

Suicide (off page)

Death

Getting Drugged

Alcohol use

Torture

Prostitution

Romance Tropes, you ask ?

Miscommunication

Retelling

Marriage

Who do we meet in this book ?

Hades

Persephone (Perri)

What to read next:

Neon Gods (Dark Olympus) by Katee Robert.

The Cruel Prince by Holly Black.

Drag Me Up (Gods of Hunger) by R.M. Virtues.

Or just like read the next few books of this series.

[scarecrowmax]

misc. tag game...

Thank you for the tag @the-cinnamontography-is-amazing <3

a band you don’t like that many others do:

not technically a band but taylor swift. i just never really liked her music and i find her so overplayed that it's actually gotten to the point i get annoyed when i hear it played.

a childhood memory that you remember vividly:

one day i came home from school after we got to visit the school library and i borrowed the bailey school kids book about cupids and so when i got home i laid down on my top bunk and read the whole book and finished just in time for dinner and i was so proud of myself for finishing it so fast until i remembered it was gonna be a full week before we got to go back to the library

least favorite animal and why:

i don't necessarily have a least favorite animal but i guess small dogs? i just find them weirdly unnerving and so often they're so loud and badly trained and not washed often enough so they smell and i just don't really like them

hot fandom take:

just because someone/something is popular in the fandom it doesn't mean it/they're good. sometimes people or concepts just suck either in general or for your experience and it's fine to not interact/block/not consume that content if it isn't doing it for you.

do you wear any jewelry, if so, what’s your favorite piece:

i wear a ring on each hand every day and i wear earrings and necklaces sometimes too. i love my rings, my hands feel naked without them honestly, but my current favorite piece is probably a necklace i made out of a broken ring. it was an adjustable one and one side snapped off so i snapped off the other side, added a jump ring through an open part of it and added a chain. it's a spider holding a skull. its super fun and very different to a lot of my other pieces.

a movie others liked but you didn’t:

i'm not really a fan of the original evil dead trilogy. like the concept is cool but the humor, the stop motion animation, and a lot of the deadite makeup is just not really my taste. i do love the 2013 movie though. big fan of that one.

three things you love about yourself:

i've learned to be just okay at things and still have fun doing them, i have really pretty eyes, the fact i make a lot of things be it food or crafts or fandom stuff i just like making things

a place you hope to visit in the future and why:

i'd love to visit somewhere outside the us sometime because i never have before

an actor that gets on your nerves and why:

there's several and honestly it's either their energy or they did some fucked up shit and im tired of people talking about them. im not gonna name names though.

things you’re excited for in the nearby future?:

i'm gonna see a band I really like on the 17th of next month and it's gonna be so great because it's a small venue so I'll almost assuredly have a great view. plus tickets with service fees were $17.50 a piece which rocks. im spending more on gas to see them than on tickets which i find funny.

least favorite ship in a fandom you’re in:

i have zero interest in naming names here, i'll keep that in my exclude tags lists on ao3

what’s the most toxic fandom you’ve been in?:

i don't think i'm actually in any. i don't interact with shit like that because i'm in fandoms to have fun and enjoy shit so i stay out of drama and will block people who suck and then forget they exist

list three things you find beautiful about life:

people care about each other even when we don't know each other, there's a million little joys to be found in life, you can meet someone and have a great time together at an event and never speak again but you'll remember them fondly and do it over and over again.

any dreams for the future?

uhhhh, not really? I've never been a big dreamer. i'm a day by day girlie from way back

how are you really feeling today?

not too bad, i was good earlier but i played a couple video games too long earlier and now my ability to focus my eyes is a little screwy and I've got a bit of a headache

tag you're it if you're up for it @rossmccallsqueen @fromcrossroadstoking @tvserie-s-world

[theharpermovieblog]

#HARPERSMOVIECOLLECTION

2023

I watched Murder By Decree (1979)

Have I mentioned I like Sherlock Holmes, cuz I like Sherlock Holmes.

Sherlock Holmes is on the trail of Jack The Ripper and begins to uncover a conspiracy.

Director Bob Clark has a weird career. Along with this film, he directed the excellent Black Christmas and some other horrors. But, he also directed Porky's, Porky's 2, Baby Geniuses, and Baby Geniuses 2. He's much more suited to horror than comedy or Genius Baby films if you ask me.

In both this film and Black Christmas, Clark takes us behind the killer's eyes, allowing us to witness some murders firsthand. He works with the shadows in the gaslit streets and buildings of late 19th century London. (I was a little upset with the version I watched, knowing it wasn't as crisp and clean as it could have been.) Clark's films are always a bit cheaper looking to me. Old fashioned and a bit too hazy for their own good, but the style works fine here, as it does in Black Christmas. I also appreciate the sets and painted backdrops. They're obvious, but not in a horrible way. In an endearing way.

Another great thing, The film has fantastic casting. Christopher Plummer and James Mason suit the characters of Holmes and Watson almost perfectly. Plus, the added bonus of Donald Sutherland in a supporting role.

As a true crime addict, I do know a bit about Jack the Ripper, the conspiracies surrounding him, and a few other little clues of the case. Knowing these things and being a Sherlock fan, made this a lot more enjoyable of a watch for me personally.

The film is based on two different Ripper books, both of which do not feature Sherlock Holmes. As well, this is not a Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Sherlock Holmes story. Without being fully based on any novel, the film is rather well crafted. Bringing a fictional character into a real life mystery isn't exactly easy, but this film does it well and has fun with it. The movie is clever and funny and does feature a bit of action. While not necessarily scary, it makes up for it with a spooky atmosphere.

I had some concerns at the start that two hours was going to be a bit too long for this movie, but it eventually begins to pace itself nicely.

The movie works very well as a Sherlock Holmes story. The mystery, the characters ,the humor, the atmosphere. It even manages to make the great Sherlock Holmes show a bit of his humanity, which is always helpful when presenting the character.

I suppose I'll always prefer the old Basil Rathbone Sherlock films. I have nostalgia for them, as well as the Jeremy Brett BBC series. For me, this film is definitely up there with those versions. While not exactly the most exciting thing put on screen, this Sherlock Holmes film, like all great Holmes films, is about getting the characters and the story across.

[xiv-wolfram]

Wolfram's Character Inspiration Chart

This took me a while because I've answered variations of this one before but forgot who I said. Honestly I consume a lot of media so… Wolf is basically 80% me with character traits thrown in from shows I like. I'm focusing more on personality/aesthetic/narrative than physical inspiration here... Ok maybe if Ravi and Eliot had a kid with Geralt's muscles and green eyes from somewhere?

Xena - Xena: Warrior Princess A person with a dark past seeks redemption by traveling around and doing good deeds. Wears lots of leather. Their primary weapon is a sword. Consistently flirting with their best friend. After writing the synopsis of his character story I realized Wolf is basically Xena… ok he looks more like Ares. Whatever, it's my bi-awakening show I can do what I want! After realizing this, I had to give Wolf some chakram lore too for the comparison to be complete! (which was easy with the Thavnairian dad)

Geralt - The Witcher Excellent fashion sense plus Wolf is also a person who tries to be neutral but will do anything to protect their loved ones. Mostly, Geralt is on here for his fighting style. Wolf uses more magic but he also has a very active/fluid way of combat. This is due to his dancer training and why he's so evasive, but I imagine it looks similar to how Geralt fights in the Blaviken scene from the first episode of season 1, just with the occasional VerFlare.

Ravi Chakrabarti - iZombie Did ya'll know Wolf is a bit of a nerd? I try and show it sometimes but due to the subject matter of many of the comics, it may not be obvious. He's really smart. Figures things out before others (like how did other people not realize Liv is a zombie?!) Unlike Ravi, he didn't have a formal education. He only knows the common language but reads a lot and even asks Y'Shtola to translate tomes for him. When he's around friends he's extremely talkative, usually about his interests (Mhachi history, cuisine, non-traditional uses for magic, etc). Also, Ravi's relationship with Peyton is (usually) really great power couple stuff. Plus they're good friends who joke around but are very sweet and flirty with each other. (Rahul Kohli is also Wolfram's voice claim btw!)

M.M. (Marvin Milk) - The Boys For some reason, I'm the only person I know who watches The Boys?! Anyway MM is great. He's got stuff from his past that really weighs on him but he fights through it for his friends and family. He's usually kind of the moral center of The Boys with a strong sense of right and wrong even if it doesn't align with those around him. He's also the paternal/fraternal figure trying to look out for everyone.

Jessica Jones - Jessica Jones She's got kind of a dark and snarky sense of humor. Leather. Alcoholic with PTSD but she doesn't let it stop her from doing what needs to be done and being a hero. Honestly I just really love characters who save people while not really knowing how to save themselves but hanging on anyway. Wolf's also got a pretty strong vigilante side…

Eliot Waugh - The Magicians Absolutely the most relatable depiction of depression I've seen on TV. He's usually really friendly and charismatic. Always joking around. It's all a mask for his major chronic depression. Drinks a lot. Also, very smart and talented mage without having to put in as much effort as Alice (read the books) which can be a double-edged sword. His biggest enemy is himself.

tagged by: @talion-graves (Thanks! This was funnnnn!!!)

tagging: This part always makes me nervous I'll forget someone. So just - anyone else who wants to do it - I wanna see it! The original template is here! I just tweaked it a bit for me.

[mantisfriendd]

THOUGHTS ON THE FNAF MOVIE

Take everything I say here, positive or negative with a grain of salt, because I'm a massive fan of the FNAF series, like embarrassing so.

Should go without saying but SPOILERS FOR THE MOVIE AHEAD

THE GOOD

The sets and the animatronics, both in costume form and in robot form look absolutely fantastic, there is no doubting that, Jim Henson's and everyone else who worked on the sets and costumes did great.

While you might consider some of the acting cheesey, I think everyone knocked it out of the park on their given roles, including the YouTuber cameos, there's no denying everyone here LOVED filming this movie. Josh Hutcherson really nailed the subtle emotional beats of Mike as he's trying to grapple with both the mysterys of Freddy's and learn the identity of his brother's kidnapper. I also particularly love the moments where we are reminded that even though Mike is Abby 's caretaker, they are still very much siblings, the moment Mike carries her back to her room over his shoulder is a perfect example.

While all the actors absolutely killed it at their roles Piper Rubio as Abby was an absolute joy, both the writing and her performance brought so much humor and levity to what could have been a very dark film if they wanted it to go that way

Speaking of that darkness, Matthew Lillard absolutely shreds in his role as William Afton, he steals the spotlight in every single scene he is in. The problem with him is he only appears in like 3 scenes! pretty long scenes granted, but I was really hoping to see more of him, in either the Steve Raglan persona or as the unmasked William Afton. I suppose there's room for that in FNAF 2.

The shots are all incredibly lovingly crafted, it feels like much thought and care was put into every camera turn, and lighting choice.

This movie is armed to THE TEETH in Easter eggs, I remember when I saw Mike holding a book labeled "Dream Theory" and I felt myself taking psychic damage, especially as that book becomes vital to a main plot point later, I just know Scott was grinning knowing the reaction people were going to have to that.

While all the films jokes didn't land, quite a few of them got a chorus of laughs from both me and the general movie audience in my theater, Abby in particular gave a lot of fun moments that got consistent chuckles out of me, and in my experience at least, was one of the most accurate depictions of a young child I've seen in media.

THE MEH

While FNAF has almost always has humorous moments, especially the later into the franchise we get, I feel like this movie stays in the silly zone for longer then I'd like, espicallly for a movie about FNAF 1, a game with very little humor in it, say for the infamous Rule 4.

The movie, simply put, isn't scary, the only thing that got me even a bit was the balloon boy figure jumpscares (something about the joke jumpscares are always hit the hardest, talking to you Mapbot!) Although I will say the occasional brutal or gorey scenes did occasionally stun the people in my audience into silence (even if Max getting bit in half was a bit cartoony)

The film itself, despite going the required five nights, did feel a bit stunted, it felt like it could have gone on for another 30 minutes, the climax does feel a bit rushed, with Afton going down without much of a fight after Abby turns the animatronics on him, but the final confrontation with Afton does have a very palpable sense of tension as everyone fights to keep Afton away from Abby

While Elizabeth Lail plays her role very well, Vanessa 's role in the story is a bit muddled. In my predictions for the film I said that unlike most people, I didn't think Vanessa would be a twist villian, and I was right on the technicality that the movie never tells us she was on Afton's side until AFTER she double crosses him. The only way a character like this works is if she actually gets to betray the protagonist first before having a chance of heart. The closest Vanessa gets to doing that is threatening Mike very awkwardly. I'll chock this up to the screenplay giving her awkward phrasing but little things like her saying she will "shoot Mike if he ever brings Abby back" and that the guy who killed a bunch of kids is a "Bad, cruel man" really take the seriousness out of a scene, none of this being Elizabeth's fault of course.

The absolute dedication to using as little CGI as possible is impressive and works pretty well most of the time but you can see some of the cracks where the physical costumes and robots fall short of what the script demands. I think in a potential fnaf 2 considering some CGI for some shots, sparingly of course would help with the unintentional goofyness. The shot that really jumps out the most as not looking the greatest is Foxy running at the camera, they did a lot to try and hide it but it's very clear he is just being pushed on a little cart or something. that of course is because Foxy is the only animatronic who only has a puppet, and not a human in a costume as well, cuz he just too skinny.

THE LOOOOOOREEE IMPLICATIONS

The biggest fallout I can imagine from this film for the game lore, is the dream world interactions. I'm all for writing this off as movie lore only, but given how the community is open to taking concepts from the books and applying them to the game universe I don't see why this one should be considered any different. I don't know what, if anything that effects but I can't imagine it doesn't do nothing to the game lore.

The other heavy lore effecting thing, is possibly the Ella (baby?) springlock suit in the backroom. I don't know what that means for the lore, but it certainly means something?

Overall I very much enjoyed this film, and I'm going to see it again in theaters. I really think that if Scott and Blumhouse can iron out the rough edges for a sequel, we can have some real horror gold on our hands.

[downatfraggleblog]

Riley’s Fraggle Rock Reviews!

Season One, Episode One- Beginnings

Beginnings are always hard, aren’t they? Even if you have a vision for what you want your project to be, it can be hard to get to that point from nothing. You have to start *somewhere*, while making sure everything makes sense for your audience and keeping them entertained and promising that “This will be great! Really!!”

...Admittedly, this is more for me than for Jim, Jerry, and the incredible team of performers, puppet builders, crew members, songwriters, and gorg wranglers who worked their baloobiuses off to get Fraggle Rock made (because *surely* the work of one woman typing reviews about a decades old show is harder than actually making the show was). I’m not sure how to start things here myself, so I feel a little better seeing the crew of Fraggle Rock is in the same spot that I am on this one... more or less.

So! Without further ado, I want to welcome you to the review series! (If you’re looking for more information on the series, check the ‘about’ page.) If for some reason anybody reading this does not know anything about Fraggle Rock, I will be highlighting the names of all the major characters and groups in this episode. There are a lot of elements at play here, but I’m sure you’ll do just fine. Now, I know what you’re here for- let’s start the episode! How does Beginnings begin?

We begin with a dark workshop. *The* workshop, actually, as we see old handyman Doc and his loyal dog Sprocket begin settling into this old, dusty room. I always assumed the workshop was the front room of the house, as we often see Doc bringing in groceries and talking to neighbors, but he explicitly says he is converting an “unused room” into his workshop. Did they always live here? My personal theory is that Doc inherited the house from an old friend or relative, who simply used some other entrance to the house, as I simply can’t believe Doc just had a whole room lying around for who knows how long. He doesn’t strike me as a man to make waste of a whole room like that. Besides, I find more whimsy in him settling in here just as things begin stirring in the world just below his feet.

Speaking of which, just about five feet down and ten feet to the viewer’s right is fraggle explorer Matt, who is lamenting the end of his journeys charting out the caves of Fraggle Rock.

(I can see where Gobo gets his sense of style from!)

His wish for more adventure is quickly granted when a magical force (Doc) penetrates the cave wall (moves a box out of the way), opening a portal to the mythic “Outer Space,” a legend to fragglekind. The exposition from Doc in this scene is kind of flat, but I quite enjoy Matt’s antics here. He quickly rushes home to prepare for this new adventure.

Here we meet Matt’s nephew Gobo, who suffers from protagonist syndrome but has a healthy dose of eccentricity to balance the mixture. Matt trusts Gobo with his papers as he begins to pack (along with one of my favorite bits of physical humor in the episode).

“I am leaving my books and maps with you for safe keeping!” he says as they thud on the cave floor. (Look at his arms— he’s rod handed. I wonder how many takes it took to get this shot perfect…)

Gobo pages his uncle’s (presumably now damaged) tomes and here comes our first song of the series, “Hip Hip Hooray!” Despite the name, I’m not quite fond of this sequence. I feel like it’s mostly here to showcase some of the new puppetry tricks still being toyed with for the series, but we will see just about all these tricks honed much better in later episodes (swimming fraggles, waldos, fraggles “balancing” things on their nose). Admittedly, I am quite a fan of the one fraggle just before the song balancing on one foot atop another’s head, but I’ll let you find that one for yourself ;) Otherwise, the song is boring and so is the staging. Anyways, let’s meet some more fraggles!

(I find it adorable that Wembley comes out following Boober in their very first shot onscreen together. Just something I appreciate!) 

Enter gloomy Boober, silly Wembley, and daredevil Red. After an endearing slapstick sequence, the trio all find themselves tripping over one another in Gobo’s room. This scene doesn’t really forward the plot in any way besides establishing these three as characters, and I honestly don’t mind too much.

After the brief visit from his friends, Gobo sees his uncle off on his newest adventure in what is probably my favorite sequence of the episode, and our second musical number, “Follow Me”. Not only am I getting a wave of nostalgic pathos, but the interactions between uncle and nephew are very charming to watch. Gobo’s interactions with Matt in this song and the sequence that shortly follows are endearing because of how natural they feel. There’s genuine chemistry between these performers, having worked together on the Muppet Show and first few Muppet Movies, but beyond that the relationship between Matt and Gobo feels like a real family. They are by no means perfect, but there is clearly a lot of love for one another. It’s a shame that a lot of relationships highlighted in Season One fall to the wayside as the writers figure out their footing.

Matt tasks Gobo with receiving messages he will send back home as he explores Outer Space, and while Gobo says he could never, his uncle doesn’t quite hear that last part. Gobo, feeling a sense of obligation to his elder, sees no way out of it, and wishes Matt goodbye. “Think of me as Uncle Travelin’ Matt,” he replies, and a music cue tells the audience (and, seemingly, the fraggles onscreen) that this name will be important. With that, he’s gone out the door, and Doc is none the wiser. Sprocket, on the other hand, is freaking out at the discovery of these strange little creatures coming out of the mysterious hole in the wall. 

We catch up with Gobo a little later, when the nurturing and dreamy Mokey asks him why he’s been so down. Gobo doesn’t know how to talk about his feelings, which Mokey interprets as needing space to process things. Gobo announces to nobody in particular that no, he needs *help*, and Wembley (unaware of his friends anguish?) eagerly calls Gobo to look at a musical construction made by the diminutive, formic Doozers. We get an instrumental sequence here as Doozers build a new bridge with tiny construction tools. (Sequences like these are quite common in the earliest episodes of Fraggle Rock, and while they often can be fun, they can really stop an episode in its tracks...)

By the time Wembley finishes his song, the Doozers have trapped him in with the new bridge they just assembled, as Gobo glumly comments. “It’s a good thing I’m hungry,” Wembley proclaims, as he begins devouring the highway before him.

(If you’re new here, no this isn’t just a Wembley thing. All fraggles do it.)

Wembley asks Gobo what’s wrong, and Gobo again cannot elaborate, so he heads out to go get some wisdom from Marjory the Trash Heap (Again, if you’re new here, she’s their oracle. And yes, she is a talking pile of compost.)

In order to get to her, however, he must cross the Gorg’s Garden, guarded by the titanic Junior Gorg. His blundering mammoth size proves no match for a fraggles’ speed, however, and he misses Gobo as the latter makes his way to the oracle in question.

Her heralds (sons?), the murine Philo and Gunge announce her presence and the pile of compost awakens. She declares that Gobo has “Troubles,” and breaks into the highest energy segment of the episode, our last new song, “I Seen Troubles”. I adore this sequence, especially with how much fun everybody seems to be having and how high energy it is. It’s a spectacular contrast to the rest of the episode, in the best possible way. 

Gobo explains that he doesn’t know how to do what he promised his uncle, and that he feels alone and scared of the terrible monster (Sprocket) that he will have to contend with. “Alone? Then don’t be alone!” Bring some friends, Marjory says, friends help. Philo and Gunge declare that to be all, and Gobo goes back to recruit his friends to tag along and help him out. Boober finds the request terrifying, and Red doesn’t believe a word of it, but the group agrees to go.

The sequence where they enter the tunnel to Outer Space has great scoring, and establishes a few running jokes, such as Wembley here bumping his head on a pipe. Everybody is subsequently stopped by a ‘Hideous, Round Thing’ (a red ball Sprocket lost down the hole) blocking up the doorway to Doc’s Workshop.

I hope this wasn’t bothering any of you before, but I just can’t help but be irritated by the fact the Hideous Round Thing is floating about six inches off the ground. Come on! Couldn’t they just have one of the Fraggle Five bend offscreen and pick it up? Couldn’t be bothered to do that?

Regardless, Gobo bravely ventures out of the Fraggle Hole and into Outer Space, past a sleeping Sprocket, only to find his uncle’s message when Doc comes in with the mail, various magazines and… a postcard for one Gobo Fraggle? Doc puts the errand card in the trash (...instead of checking with his neighbors? Perhaps more proof Doc just moved in.) and Gobo makes for the safety of Fraggle Rock. Only problem is the commotion woke up Sprocket, who now has Gobo by the collar of his cardigan, and everybody is freaking out. Mokey finally decides to throw the Hideous Round Thing at the monster to get it to let Gobo go.

This of course works, as dogs love their balls, and Gobo zips back into the tunnel with a “whoosh” sound- another running gag in the making. Red apologizes for not believing Gobo, and they head back home, singing a reprise of Hip Hip Hooray. That night, Gobo reads the message proclaiming his uncle is okay, and finally the young fraggle can rest easily.

(In actuality, Matt almost got hit by a car, ran into a fire hydrant, and mistook a bunch of children playing baseball for horrible warriors. He simply thought Gobo would find Outer Space too preposterous to put all that in his letter back home.)

We end the episode back on Doc and Sprocket, who have just finished setting up shop (literally). Sprocket barks down the hole at his new ‘friends’, and Doc declares that one of these days he’ll get around to boarding up that revolting crack in the wood paneling.

Final Rating- 6/10

Song Score- 3.5 radishes out of five “I Seen Troubles” and “Follow Me” are both spectacular songs, and I like them both in very opposite directions. I Seen Troubles provides a great energy boost to an otherwise meandering episode, and the fun everybody had during it is infectious. Follow Me is a wonderful lullaby for the soul, and one of the series’ classics for a reason (Oh yea, it’s coming back!). “Hip Hip Hooray,” however, brings the score down for its mediocrity, both times it comes about. It’s not horrible, but it’s weak as cardboard.

Story Score- 3 radishes out of five I admire the determination of the writing crew, getting every main character and group on screen with ample time to shine. However, the episode feels both very busy and very hollow at the same time, and the actual plot of the episode is kind of short compared to all the little side bits we run into (Gobo’s friends visiting his room, Wembley playing his song on the Doozer construction, etc.). None of these little bits really push the episode forwards either, but I do think all of this can be forgiven by a writing team that is still figuring themselves out.

Performance Score- 3.5 radishes out of 5 Everybody seems to be having fun! The quick establishing moments of Mokey, Wembley, Boober, and Red all do a good job giving the audience a nice feel for each character, and the physical comedy in this episode is very good, better than I remembered. The puppetry stunts are mostly standard for the series going forward, with many of them improving greatly beyond this episode, but there are a few novel ones as well, such as Matt dropping his books. Score is also a little low for this episode due to it being in what I like to call the “Glum Gobo” era, before Jerry really figured out the light inside Gobo’s character. Don’t worry, it’ll come with time.

That was Beginnings! It’s not perfect, but that doesn’t surprise me. The show is still getting its footing. This is by no means an episode I’d skip in future watchathons, but it’s not one I’ll go out of my way to see when I’m thinking about the Rock. Part of me fears I rated it so middle of the road because I don’t have much to review it on other than memories of other episodes, but I think it is still a fair rating. I apologize if this one was a little wordy too, there was a lot to cover! Next episode up to bat is “Wembley and the Gorgs”. I’ll see you there!