#bootleg bath toys

[bootlegeverything]

[allieshouts]

SCOTT THE WOZ necessary lore videos

dedicated to my friend @coolboy12345. exclamation marks denote videos of absolute critical lore importance. if a video has no blurb / explanation, assume it is important. it is recommended you watch all of these videos.

I'm sorry for throwing a todolist-shaped rock at your head, coolboy. I really am.

THE INTERNET AND YOU -- not canon, but it's Scott's first true masterpiece and it features a lot of his friends who you will see later

FIRST TIME VAPE SHOP -- Scott introduces Joe, Dom and [Sam]. contains the first instance of the phrase "Hey all, Scott here!"

NINTENDO SWITCH WISH LIST -- the first traditional video in the "Scott the Woz" format

NINTENDO SWITCH PRESENTATION 2017 -- pepto bismol

HISTORY OF SMASH BROS LEAKS -- Critique That Leak & Dick Vitale

TINDER -- really funny

A LOOK BACK AT THE NINTENDO 3DS -- This game blows!

BREATH OF THE WILD ISN'T PERFECT -- Scott ruins his credibility

POLYBIUS -- a pivotal moment in Scott's production value

! A VERY MADDEN 08 CHRISTMAS -- introduces a majority of the main cast

THE GUY GAME -- I just think coolboy will like this one

THE WIIWARE CHRONICLES I , THE WIIWARE CHRONICLES II , THE WIIWARE CHRONICLES III , THE WIIWARE CHRONICLES IV , THE WIIWARE CHRONICLES V -- optional

GAME COMPILATIONS COMPILATION -- send-off to Old Location McGee

SUPER MARIO GALAXY 2 -- introduction to New Location McGee

! GAME STORES -- introduction of Chet Shaft

AS SEEN ON TV -- funny

! IT'S AWESOME BABY!

! HOMECOMING -- introduces new main character

SHOVELWARE VARIETY HOUR ROUND 2 -- provides a good introduction to Data Design Interactive. also, as a side note for coolboy, this is the episode that got me to buy Truth or Lies

! THE GREAT MYSTERIES OF GAMING -- major character deaths, both temporary and permanent

! IT'S A BARGAIN BIN CHRISTMAS -- continuation of murder arc

ANIME GAMES -- battle between Scott and Dr. Anna May

WE DARE -- establishes link between DKBB and anti-virginity

! THE DARK AGE OF NINTENDO -- introduces new main character

! THE DARKER AGE OF NINTENDO -- introduces new main character

! THE DARKEST AGE OF NINTENDO -- introduces new main character; conclusion of "This game blows!"

GAME SHOW GAMES -- my personal all-time favorite episode

! THE TRIAL -- "concludes" murder arc

MARIO PARTY -- very funny romp with Scott, Jeb Jab, and Rex Mohs

! MEMORY CARDS -- major character death

! SPEED DATING -- introduces new main character

! YOU'RE NOT AN RPG GUY -- whole gang get-together

! BORDERLINE FOREVER -- critical to lore

RIDE TO HELL RETRIBUTION -- Scott plays a terrible biker game

! MOBILE GAMES ON CONSOLE -- beginning of robbery arc

GAME BATHS -- funny

! GAMING REVIVALS -- resurrects a few characters, sets up some stuff to be revealed later

TOYS TO LIFE -- very funny romp with Scott, Jeb Jab, and Rex Mohs

MARIO PARTY 2 -- very funny romp with Scott, Jeb Jab, and Rex Mohs

! THE FUNERAL -- sees off a main character

! THE GIFTS OF GAMING -- whole gang get-together with some lore additions

DONKEY KONG BARREL BLAST -- Scott finally faces his virginity

IT CAME FROM THE NINTENDO ESHOP -- introduces Prison Employee

BOARD GAME VIDEO GAMES -- very funny romp with Scott, Jeb Jab, and Rex Mohs

THE COMMERCIAL FAILURE -- ends with a stellar musical number

MERRY CHRISTMAS, DATA DESIGN -- whole gang get-together

CANDY GAMES -- whole gang get-together with temporary character death

! HAVE A BOOTLEG GAMING CHRISTMAS

[dwellordream]

“The Great Depression reached into every corner of the country, but it did not affect all people equally. For many middle-class women of all races, the depression required certain changes in spending patterns: buying cheaper cuts of meat, feeding the homeless men who stopped at the back door, and doing without new clothes. Some of these women continued to do community volunteer work, raising money for the unemployed. They saw the food lines, but they did not have to join them.

Among women workers, race played an important role. The fierce competition for jobs fueled racial resentments. Mexican-American and African-American women were the first to lose their jobs and the last to get relief from welfare agencies. Often, they were already living on the margin of survival. Before 1933, when the Prohibition amendment making the manufacture or sale of alcoholic beverages illegal was repealed, many of these women turned to bootlegging, making their own beer or liquor and selling it.

…Even relatively prosperous farm women--owners, not tenants--in general produced as much as 70 percent of what their families consumed in clothing, toys, and food. They not only gardened but raised poultry. During the depression, women increased the size of their gardens and the number of their hens. They made more butter from their dairy cows and sold it. They cut up the sacks that held large amounts of flour and sewed them into underwear. In the previous decade, they had proudly begun to participate in a culture of store-bought goods. Now they began to can food again. Government agents dragged huge canning kettles across the mountains of northern New Mexico and eastern Tennessee so that women in remote farming villages could preserve their food.

Even with all this work, rural children suffered from malnutrition, and rural women faced childbirth without a doctor or midwife because they could afford neither the medical fees nor the gasoline for transportation. The women resented their declining standards of living, particularly those from better-off farm families who owned their own farms and had, during the 1920s, aspired to participate in the new domestic technology of indoor bath-rooms, modern stoves and heating, and super cleanliness.

…In 1936, a federal appeals court overruled an earlier law that had classified birth control information as obscene and thus illegal to dispense. That decision still left state laws intact, however. The number of birth control clinics nationwide rose from 55 in 1930 to 300 by 1938, but in some states and in many rural areas women still had no access to birth control. In 1937, North Carolina became the first state to provide contraceptives with tax dollar, and six others soon followed. Ironically, North Carolina’s reasoning was not that birth control was a human right but that birth control would reduce the black population.

Despite statistics showing that black women had fewer babies than white women with similar incomes and living situations, many white southern officials in states with large black populations feared a black population explosion. In 1939, the Birth Control Federation of American responded to eager southern state governments by developing “The Negro Project,” a program to disseminate birth control information, which they carefully staffed with local black community leaders. Whatever the logic, one quarter of all women in the United States in their 20s during the depression never bore children. This was the highest rate of childlessness for any decade. Many people simply decided not to get married, and marriage rates fell.

…In the mass media women seemed to be receiving mixed messages. On the one hand, in 1930, the Ladies’ Home Journal featured a former career woman confessing, “I know now without any hesitation… that [my husband’s job] must come first.” In 1931, the popular magazine Outlook and Independent quoted the dean of Barnard College, a women’s college in New York City, telling her students that “perhaps the greatest service that you can render to the community… is to have the courage to refuse to work for gain.” And on its front page in 1935, the New York Times reported that women “suffering from masculine psychological states” and an “aversion to marriage” were being “cured” by the removal of their adrenal gland. In this atmosphere, not only were women workers under fire, but women who centered their lives on women rather than on men came under attack. Lesbianism was no longer chic. Lesbian bars almost disappeared. Homosexuality was now seen by many people as just one more threat to the family.

On the other hand, movie houses showed zany screwball comedies with more complicated lessons. Often deliciously ditsy, incompetent women were rescued by sensible, capable men. Yet, the men in these movies were frequently portrayed as bumbling or slower-witted than the women. Sometimes the men were people who needed joy and whimsy restored to their lives, not an unexpected theme for a nation in the throes of an economic depression. In other movies, however, women were by no means incompetent. The women portrayed by Katharine Hepburn, Bette Davis, and Joan Crawford in the 1930s were often intelligent but needed men alternately to tame and to soften them.”

- Sarah Jane Deutsch, “Making Do with Disaster.” in From Ballots to Breadlines: American Women, 1920-1940

[softlimefluff]

Hey Ari!

If you're not swamped with requests already (and only if you want to of course!) would you make one of those lists for Ghiaccio please? Either way is totally fine by me!

By the way, Rohan loves you so much!

-Sal (@self-shipyard)

Hi Sal!! Thank you for your patience while I gathered links for this! Ghia loves you too mwa mwa <3

-Ghia's stand is inspired by The Beatles White Album, so definitely add it to your playlist rotations. My personal reccs are Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da, Martha My Dear, and I'm So Tired

-For actual character themed merch, there's a Mini Ghiaccio figurine for a reasonable price and definitely bootleg but still cute Ghia tomonui, and this kitty Squadra themed keychain

-If you want sticker options, there's a transparent White Album one, tiny ghia figure, smol ghia head, and a no talk me I angy ghiakitty

-Taking inspiration from Ghiacchio's outfit, here's a pair of blue light filtering glasses (choose the shade "crystal red")

-white finger loop gloves like the ones he wears

-his pants look a lot like black and white stripe chef pants, so here's a unisex style with a wide range of sizes!

-for shoes, here's a red pair of converse and a pair of mint green laces

Taking inspiration from White Album the stand, here's a pair of white lace cat ears, a white cat ear beanie for the colder months, and even white cat ear light up headphones (I actually have these and I love them sm)

-a pair of yellow mirrored shield glasses, like White Album's visor

-to represent the purple kneepads, I picked a pair of purple legwarmers instead (smaller size and plus size)

-finally, this cool spiral stim toy to represent the purple spiral on the front of White Album's helmet

-leaning into inspiration from Ghia's ice powers, here's 2 snowflake pendants -- one silver with a central moonstone and the other inset with blue topaz all over

-if you want to carry a wintery mint reminder with you, there's this snowflake diffuser locket! You can drop mint oil (peppermint, spearmint, or wintergreen) onto the little felt pad!

-these acrylic ice cube earrings are another cute and funny nod to Ghia's ice (there's a short pair and long pair in this set)

-since we all know Ghiaccio could use some stress relief, here's a glittery snowball themed stress ball

-for a snowy themed nail polish, I found this opalescent essie one in the shade "crystal clear intentions"

-for another minty fresh Ghia inspiration, I recommend Lush's dirty springwash shower gel!!! It smells sooooo good and is the prettiest blue green color

-Rounding out the list with two bath and body works recs, here's a vanillamint mentha lip shine and a "frozen lake" 3 wick candle (the scent description online says lavender leaves, cool eucalyptus and juniper berries!)

-As always, I recommend writing your f/o a letter (either in a journal or on @ jojolovenotes), sketching your favorite screenshots, rewatching the episodes your f/o shows up in, and making a playlist inspired by your f/o (including their music namesakes).

[eldricheyess]

List of 100 distractions.

I wrote all of these for myself, but steal them if you want.

Find a new series to binge on YouTube or Netflix

Make a new playlist

Listen to loud music

Use stim toys

Sleep

Tidy your room

Go on a walk

Draw

Clear out your wardrobe

Paint on your walls

Try new makeup looks

Scroll on tktok

Play minecraft

Make more patches for your clothes

Add things to your amazon wishlist

Play/cuddle with your pets

Make/modify your clothes

Meet with a friend

Write poems

Put together new outfits

Make your bed/change the bed sheets

Take a really hot or cold shower/bath

Arrange your candles, incense and oils

Go on a bike ride

Sort your Pinterest boards into sections

Go on a drive

Read a book/listen to an audiobook

Make a list of places nearby that you want to visit

Learn a new instrument (mine are bass, ukulele, piano, guitar)

Get in the shower or bath fully clothed

Watch things from your childhood

Make a Pinterest board with outfits you want

Paint you nails

Bleach and dye your hair

Draw on your hands, arms and legs

Burn things

Do photography

Write a book (fanfic if you prefer)

Hold ice cubes on your stomach and thighs for as long as you can stand

Check in on fandoms you used to be in. See what’s happening and how things have changed

Listen to music you haven’t listened to in a while

Find pictures to print and put them on your walls

Buy new art supplies

Add new movies to your watchlist

Find someone new to talk to, maybe make a new friend

Get in contact with an old friend

Clean your tattoos/piercings

Look for more tattoo designs

Play The Sims

Sort through and throw out old art supplies

Rearrange your room

Vacuume the house

Polish everything

Smell things that make you happy (lavender, mango hand cream)

Write a letter about things you want to tell someone. Now burn it

Make your own alphabet and learn it until you’re fluent

Talk to your stuffed animals about your feelings

Curl or straighten your hair

Listen to a new band or genre/style of music

Watch bootleg musicals on YouTube

Find something new to hyperfixate on

Take online quizzes

Make an aesthetically pleasing video

Romanticise your life in writing

Draw the tattoos you want on yourself

Make characters on picrew

Drink tea/coffee/hot chocolate

Go skating

Masturbate

Watch Beetlejuice

Continue your book of shadows

Buy new jewellery

Cry. It sucks but sometimes you just gotta cry. That’s okay <3

Watch Jimmy Carr

Start a new journal

Decorate the front of your sketchbook

Declutter your phone

Smoke or vape. Whatever you choose

Learn about occult and witchcraft

Make a bullet journal

Sit on your windowsill with headphones on. It’s very calming

Meditate

Declutter your house/bedroom

Mess with people Omegle

Paint

Message/call/FaceTime a friend

Play among us

Make your room feel pretty and aesthetically pleasing

Rewatch your comfort shows

Write down everything you’re thinking, no matter how interesting

Go and buy yourself a new blanket

Take aesthetic pictures of yourself

Play the switch

Start naming random objects in your room

Reorganise you drawers/desk

Look at the most expensive houses in your area on rightmove (or some other housing website)

Go shopping for clothes (irl or online)

Make a bracelet

Bake/cook something

Clear out your social medias.

[chinchillasinunison]

Because Christmas is right around the corner I'm thinking of a DR Toy AU....... majority of Class 78 are the Naegi kids' toys......

Sayaka and Leon would have about the same forms as they do in my BatB Ishimondo fic, i.e. a music box with Sayaka as a ballerina on the top and a very worn baseball respectively, but more modern than those, obviously.

Chihiro would be a children's laptop that has some basic spelling and math games, akin to something made by Leapfrog.

Mondo would be the little figure on an RC motorcycle. He actually came in a set of two, The Crazy Diamond Racerz, but... we don’t talk about what happened to Daiya...

Kiyotaka is a funny case, as he's not technically a toy. He was Komaru's baby monitor way back when, but Makoto would use him as a "walkie-taka" ("walkie-talkie" morphed into "walkie-talker" which was mutated via baby talk into "walkie-taka") when playing pretend sometimes so he became sentient via Toy Story rules. He decides that he's the authority figure of the toys to everyone else's annoyance and refuses to be put away even if Komaru's older now and therefore does not need him.

Hifumi is a hamster-shaped puzzle eraser that Makoto got at a bookstore that he felt bad about actually using as an eraser, so he became a toy instead. The stand he was on was in front of the manga display, which explains... a lot.

Celestia Ludenberg is an antique china doll. Straight from France, at least that's what she claims (they found her at a yard sale). She's more for display than actual play, kept on a very high shelf in Komaru's bedroom, and she very much prefers it that way.

Sakura is an action figure! The knot of her tie is actually a button and it makes her do a roundhouse kick when you press it.

Aoi is a rubber bath toy shaped like an otter. She can squirt water out of her mouth and she is pretty tiny, so it takes a good deal of effort to bounce over to see everyone everyday all the way from the bathroom, but she always tries to!

Byakuya piggybank. That's it, that's his entry.

Kyoko is just a knock-off rubix cube in varying shades of purple.

Toko is Komaru's electronic secret password journal. If you grew up in the 2000s you know what I'm talking about. She's very paranoid about being read by anyone besides Komaru, meanwhile Syo will just let whoever pop her open, but threatens them with violence not to tell.

Yasuhiro is a microwavable yak doll filled with flaxseed and lavender— basically a bootleg Warmie. Very soothing to hug. Too bad Hiro himself is terrified of the radiation he gets from the microwave. A profoundly paradoxical existence, this guy leads.

Junko and Mukuro aren't toys at all, they're neighborhood kids. Junko likes to steal and mangle kids' toys a lá Sid from Toy Story, and the Naegi kids are a frequent target of hers. However, their things somehow always end up back on their doorstep the next day, if a bit worse for wear (Mukuro sneaks them back). The only plaything Junko doesn't do this to is her own teddy bear, Monokuma.

[maxwell-grant]

Captain Fray: The Trash Superman

Look up in the sky! Is it a bird? A plane? No, it’s... an ugly, homeless bald man cackling evily while raining trash on the city with an army of sludge monsters, shortly before getting beaten up by a group of meddling kids. It’s just dumb old Captain Fray again getting foiled by Monica’s Gang, nevermind him. He does that every Tuesday. 

Monica’s Gang are arguably the most iconic of all Brazilian comic book characters, having maintained popularity for 60 years and with unmatched worldwide recognition. They’ve had cartoons, a cinematic universe of films both cartoon and live-action, plays, a long-running manga spin-off that turned them into teenagers, crossovers everywhere ranging from The Big Two’s superheroes to Osamu Tezuka’s properties (as Monica’s creator Mauricio and Tezuka were acquaintances), at least one theme park, and much, much more. Even past Brazil’s borders, where they are a cultural institution on a scale matched only by Disney, these are some of the world’s most popular characters, starring in just about any kind of adventure imaginable and then some. 

However, if you go into the world of Monica’s Gang, and look for a flying man with a chest logo, a cape and impossible superpowers, you’ll instead find their greatest arch-enemy: Captain Fray (actual name Capitão Feio, which translates to Captain Ugly), real name Feioso Araújo. Who will be happy to remind you time and time again of what a rotten, no-good scoundrel he is, even if he has to pick a fight with the Big Blue himself to prove it.

So let’s talk about perhaps the most iconic “caped superhero” of Brazilian comic books, even if he’s ultimately a long, long shot from being one.

Despite the long, worldwide spanning history of the superhero, the idea of the superhero as a cape-wearing uniformed superpowered do-gooder has remained a largely American concept, as different regions have their own unique icons. The titular 4 members of Monica’s Gang have on many occasions taken the role of superheroes, and they’ve built up a massive Rogues Gallery over decades, despite not looking like the usual idea of a superhero. Monica, Jimmy Five, Smudge and Maggy, for the most part, look and act like kids, with odd quirks. 

To briefly describe the 4: Monica is the pudgy, bucktoothed ruler of the group as well as the neighborhood, being super strong and more than willing to hit people who mock her with her stuffed rabbit “Samson”. Jimmy Five has a speech impediment, and he constantly schemes to take Monica’s role as leader, best described at times as a junior Lex Luthor to Monica’s Superman. Maggy is Monica’s friend with an uncontrollable appetite, and the witty and perpetually dirty Smudge is Jimmy Five’s friend and accomplice in schemes. Smudge is defined by his complete and total refusal to take a bath or even come into contact with water under any circumstances, and some stories play up Smudge’s dirtyness to the point of superpower.

It’s Smudge in particular who’s gonna be relevant to this post, because the first time Captain Fray was introduced, he was introduced as Smudge’s good-natured and humorous uncle, a comic book addict surrounded by piles of dusty comics, particularly those of Smudge’s favorite superhero, Captain Pitoco, a sort of Superman/Buzz Lightyear analogue. Eventually, Smudge’s uncle is surrounded by dust, and out of it, he transforms “back” into a former alter-ego, Captain Fray, a megalomaniac supervillain horrified at just how clean the world is, and who decides to sully it as much as possible, flying around the city spreading dirt rays and even transforming the population into pollution-fanatics. Eventually he’s defeated and transformed back into normal, only thinking he had a weird dream. 

Upon subsequent appearences, Fray would acquire things like sludge minions, underground lairs and ever increasing powers (like in the above sequence where he somehow destroys a rainbow and darkens the sky with a single gesture), although he would eventually gain a Kryptonite-esque weakness to water. Captain Fray would go on to become the most reocurring villain of Monica’s Gang for the next 40 years, as the former concept of him being Smudge’s uncle was dropped and he became instead the ruler of an underground race of sludge monsters created by him, who’d occasionally come on to the surface in order to engage in supervillain plots to take over the world and spread dirt and pollution everywhere, sometimes in stories with an environmental angle, and often when the story calls for superhero antics. 

Fray’s got a very standard Grinch/Captain Hook cartoon villain personality, all cackles and snarls and shaking fists at the meddling kids who ruin his plans everytime, proud of being evil and rotten, but never too rotten to the point he betrays the kid-friendly nature of the stories he’s in, nor too rotten that he can’t do something nice for a change like allow his monsters to celebrate Christmas even if it ruins his bad guy image, or begrudingly do a nice thing for Smudge. 

Although for the most part, the “mainline” comics have dropped the angle of Fray being Smudge’s uncle, the two having a particular dynamic has stayed consistent still. Sometimes, Smudge is portrayed as the only member of the Gang who’s got little to no problem with Fray, even welcoming the change of scenery he brings, although he will stick with his friends, as often he’s the only one who’s got no problem being hit by Fray’s dirt rays. While sometimes Fray singles out destroying Smudge so his claim as the dirtiest being in the universe can never be challenged, he is more often depicted as having a soft spot for Smudge, sometimes considering him a pupil or potential successor to inherit his powers, and plenty of times, Smudge has done just that, although inevitably it never sticks, partially because Fray gets jealous or misses his former life, and partially because Smudge gets bored of supervillainy and just wants to go play with his friends again. 

The dynamic between Smudge and Fray has led to a lot of adventures between the two, and it’s something that’s been played up in the aforementioned manga spin-off, Monica Adventures. In it, the cast’s all been aged up to teenagers, and the adventures they get into respectively have taken much more of a shonen manga edge, much darker and weirder than anything the original kid comics could get away with, although not necessarily to it’s benefit, because I could not begin to describe just how much grimdark nonsense is in those, let’s just call it the Monica’s Gang equivalent of Jorge Joestar in terms of lunacy and leave it at that (although, to be clear, even the original “mainline” comics could get very, very weird themselves). Captain Fray has been a mainstay of said manga from the start, going through a series of redesigns, including one where he turns into a bootleg Sephiroth, and one where he tries rebranding himself into a suit-wearing gangster named “Black Dust”, which nobody really takes seriously. 

It’s also granted Fray a backstory: As a kid, when he’d gone to the basement to read comics, his house was buried in a landslide. Afraid of death, he was met with a milipede claiming to serve “The Serpent” (the in-universe stand in for the devil, maybe, just bear with me here), claiming it would protec him so long as it returned the favor someday. He was afterwards transferred to an orphanage, teased by kids over his lack of hygiene and liking for superheroes and nicknamed “Captain Ugly” (again, his name, Fray is just the English translation), with rumors that his touch granted disease. After the orphanage closes, he’s adopted by a nurse and gains a step-brother in Smudge’s dad. 

Years down the line, and Feioso’s managed to acquire a house and make a decent living. He spends a lot of time with his nephew Smudge, teaching him how to build toys out of garbage (a habit of Smudge in the strips) and fly kites and so on. Until one day, in an update of his original story, he’s cleaning his house packed with dusty comics, and a shelf falls atop of him. The millipede from his childhood appears to recollect the debt:

"Your mission is to pollude the Earth...rot it's soil...change it's atmosphere...darken the skies with smoke...so that the sun's rays may never again hit the surface of this planet!

"No! No, please! I-I don't want to hurt anyone!"

"You think you can refuse? You think you have a choice? Do you think you can escape your destiny? Evil does not tolerate weak servants. If you don't fill your end of the bargain, if you don't pay your debt...it will be transferred to the person you love most."

"Smudge? NO!! H-How do you know about my nephew?"

"We know of all that happens. Our eyes...are everywhere."

"Smudge has nothing to do with this. Leave him alone, please...I-I'll do anything you guys want!"

"So be it...Filthy powers will corrode your soul...This is the day of your rebirth! How would you like to be rebaptized?

"The nickname I was given at the orphanage...it's perfect! Captain Ugly strikes again!"

How “canon” the events of Monica Adventures are is a question best left unspoken, since it ultimately doesn’t change anything about the original strips. But regardless of what made Fray who he is, he would spend the following decades in many, many attempts to complete his mission and defeat Monica’s Gang, to be foiled and stopped time and time again by his nephew and his friends, little more than a dumb, cartoon villain there to be smacked again and again, too dumb to quit and too mean to stop. So he was, and so he will always be.

But something interesting’s happened recently with him. As part of the Graphic MSP initiative that’s allowed creators to reinvent the many, many characters of Monica’s Gang for stand-alone graphic novels, Captain Fray’s received one in the form of Capitão Feio: Identidade, which isn’t so much an origin story as it tells the story of a homeless man with no knowledge of his past or where he acquired the superpowers that force him to be on the constant run from society, and it tells the story of how said man eventually became the infamous supervillain, despite his many attempts to be a superhero. 

The comic and it’s sequel, Tormenta, acted more of a proof of concept to test whether or not a serious reimagining of Captain Fray can work, and considering their reception and the newfound love that the Captain seems to have attained in recent years, I’d say they succedeed pretty damn well. He’s ostracized for his appearence, poverty, smell and bad manners, and there’s hardly anything he can do about it because his powers make him a toxic abomination by default. He spends portions of the book trying to create living beings with his powers, and once he succeeds in creating a Godzilla-esque monster to protect him from the authorities, he ends up having to put the monster down, before getting fed up with constant rejection and promptly announcing that, if he’s just gonna be known as an ugly monster by the people, even after he saves them, he’s gonna make it a point to be Captain Ugly Monster, the most rotten supervillain they’ve ever seen. 

The comic constantly grants upon Frey iconography of several of the biggest icons of comic books, from Batman and Superman to AKIRA, playing up not just Frey’s association with comic books but also the fact that he's been mired in that aesthetic from day one. He wanted to be a hero, he wanted to be like Captain Pitoco, and regardless of continuity, all that he ends up as is becoming a gross caricature of a superhero. And still, Frey owns it. He owns his grossness, his rage, his bitterness at everything that he understands to be the opposite of himself, everything clean and good and decent, and he tries time and time again to tear it down, even if he ultimately can never get far enough to accomplish his goals, or lose all of his humanity in the process.

I’ve remarked once that, to many in some regions of South America, the “traditional” superhero does not hold much appeal, and most of the more popular protagonists and icons tend to be outlaws far away from caped antics. Which is why it’s particularly interesting that, not only is the most famous caped superman of Brazilian comic books a villain, but also that, perhaps unintentionally, Fray has undergone the kind of development that most reocurring cartoon villains never get, and one that seems almost poised to last. In a current zeitgest of villain protagonists, it’s successes and failures, I could very easily see Captain Fray becoming the star of a popular film or series, one that takes a look not just at his personality and role, but also at Brazilian culture’s relationship with superheroes and supervillains. Maybe Fray as an anti-hero, trying to make the best of the horrendous powers he’s burdened with, could work.

So long as it’s not revealed that he likes dirt because his mom got pushed off a cliff by cleaning products, I could see it working very well.

[noegrets]

Reviewing the Joker Emoji

For some reason, there is an emoji of the Joker from a Poker deck.  Maybe the reason is for online Poker games? Given the subject matter, we expected some of these to be creepy but...

Apple

Goth version of the Joker from Batman.  Run. Although, not as fast as from some of the others, you’ll see.

Apple iOS 8.3 (and previous)

This is an abomination created by Sid from Toy Story.  It even has the baby-doll head and creepy tentacles.  The unevolved form of the goth Joker above.

Google

It’s a dollar-store bath toy for a baby.  Oh my god, it’s winking.

Google Android 4.4 - 7.0

This is certainly a card.  Although the face seems to have been misprinted.  Too much black ink.

Google Android 4.3

We like this one.  It’s monochrome with chubby lines.  It looks mischievous, and maybe slightly evil.  But just slightly.  Probably not a murderer... yet.

Microsoft

A believable card in a hypothetical emoji-themed Poker deck.  The Joker depicted on the Joker card emoji is itself an emoji.  Very meta, and surprisingly inoffensive.

Microsoft 10 and older

What happened to Charlie Brown’s shirt?!

Samsung

From afar, this is horrible and scary, but from up close, this is horrible and scary. The more we look at it, the more terrifying it gets.  Upon closer inspection, it has no scleras, and no nose.  This is not just a terrifying Joker.  This is probably possessed.

Samsung old

And to think that it used to look like this.  A cute child in a cute autumn-themed Halloween costume.  They grow up and get possessed so fast.

Whatsapp

The Joker... of Diamonds?  Also, it looks like a mime, which is never a good thing.

Twitter

A face emerging from a pile of toy bananas. It almost has radial symmetry, strangely enough. It doesn’t particularly read like a Joker, or like anything, really.

Facebook

Satanic Thomas the Tank Engine with crab legs!  Aaaaaa!

Facebook old

While we can kind of like the art style here, it’s winking evilly. We can see why someone wanted to update this... but maybe not with THAT.

Joypixels

Bootleg Joker from Batman. Half of these emoji are even confused on what the poker Joker is supposed to look like, and they end up with the character of the same name instead.

Joypixels 3-4

And here he is without his makeup! He looks somewhat caught off guard and breaking character. No one informed him that they were already shooting.

Joypixels 2

What a smarmy egg. There’s something about this one that just makes us laugh.

Joypixels 1

This is an endearing Halloween decoration made out of tissue paper. But we can’t tell it’s a Joker. It looks more like some sort of witch.

Openmoji

Were you even trying?

Messenger

Scary. Good thing the evil has been sealed away in the ice cube.

LG

It looks like one of the seven dwarves with a book on his head. Or maybe a clipart of a child in a poorly made elf costume for a Christmas recital. Nothing about this evokes a joker. It’s ugly, too.

HTC

If you take good care of your tamagotchi, it will turn into this. :D

Mozilla

It’s a baby in a hat! It’s kind of cute, but not a joker.

Softbank

An enemy in a Sega Genesis game. One of the annoying enemies, no less. We always die in that part.

Docomo

Speaking of Sega, this is just Nights.

au by KDDI

The Blue Badger from Ace Attorney.

au by KDDI - old

This is so joyful, we can’t hate it. Though, we unfortunately interpret the collar as spread out limbs: two arms, two legs, and... ...Well, it is very happy.

And now, for the grand finale...

Emojidex

Holy fuck... dark and sexy Joker. This Joker fucks. This Joker does BDSM. This Joker invented BDSM. He’s doing a come-hither hand gesture, and we accept the invitation. As a card, it is stylish. We want this deck of cards. But we looked at the other Emojidex emojis, and this is an absolute outlier. The rest of the set looks like mediocre clipart at best, and then you have THIS smoldering fucker. Someone was horny.

[dominiclomon]

This is a birthday drawing for my friend Marley (@MarbarMars on Twitter). Pidove is one of my favorite Pokémon, and weirdly enough, in a birthday cake scented bath bomb she received, there was a poorly colored bootleg Pidove toy inside it. Thus, I had this idea for a birthday drawing for her.

[fantasticescapism]

Brothers in Everything but Blood - Chapter 2: Meeting Spider-man

Click here for Chapter 1.

Part 4 of the Never Truly Gone series

Also available at AO3.

Harley’s one time visit turned into an overnight, twice a month thing at Tony’s workshop ever since he met Peter. No complaints there; that only meant more time to play with awesome tech and work on the ASM with him. He liked Peter Parker. It's like having a younger, better behaved brother, unlike his sister and her celebrity obsessions.

Although, Harley had a feeling there’s more to him than a genius fellow intern. At first, he thought it was just the often expected jealousy he should feel when he had to share Tony’s time and attention but, he didn’t feel jealous at all. He’s already an older brother to an excitable little sister so, sharing wasn’t a big deal. In fact lately, he’d been feeling a little protective over his new friend in light of the recent things he observed.

There were times when Peter came in with bruises and Harley’s first reaction was anger. His memories of years being bullied at school - along with the fights he had with her sister’s bullies - were pushed to the forefront of his mind. He confronted Peter about it once but the guy’s adamant the bruises were just him being hopelessly clumsy. Harley doubted it though, the steady way Peter handled the dangerous chemicals at the workshop proved otherwise. No, those bruises were from bullies, or maybe New York’s really as dangerous as most folks back home would say.

Harley asked Tony about it once when it was just the two of them - Peter said he would be late - and all he said was, “He’s just clumsy.” Tony sucks at lying. They’ve known each other for years, he should know he couldn’t lie to Harley.

“Right, and I’m more of a saint than Mother Teresa.” Harley raised an eyebrow at his mentor.

“Kid,” Tony sighed before he faced him, “it’s Peter’s business.”

“You’re not the type that would leave things like this alone, especially if it involves someone you personally know.” He narrowed his eyes.

“I know.” A hesitant pause. “Okay, Peter does have a bully-”

“His school’s in Midtown, right?”

“Whoa, wait.” Tony placed his arm around his shoulders. “Are you really going to his school, potato boy?”

“That reminds me. I can test out my new potato gun.”

“New?!” Tony’s incredulous.

“It’s Mark 10.”

“Harley, you- you have to let Peter handle it.”

“I just,” he huffed, “just really hate bullies.”

“I know.” Tony smiled fondly at him. He seemed to be mulling over something before he spoke again. “Alright, those bruises aren’t from this bully. The dickwad never resort to physical harm so, it’s something else.”

“At home?” He scowled.

“Oh no! Aunt Hottie is scary when mad but he loves Peter with her whole life.”

“Okay then.” He’s still determined to find out what’s going on and it looked like Tony’s aware of that.

“It’s not my story to tell but, maybe in time, you’ll figure it out.” Tony’s eyes sparkled like those times he gave him puzzles, confident that he could solve them. Challenge accepted!

---

Peter came in later with a busted lip and a sheepish smile. Tony saw him first and he definitely didn’t like what he saw.

“Kid, what the hell?!” Tony blurted out.

“Sorry, sorry. I know I’m late. It won’t ha-”

“That’s not what he meant, dude! What happened to you?” Harley pointed at his friend’s face. Who the hell did that to him?!

“Oh, uuh… I-I bumped into a street lamp.” Peter blushed.

“Really now?” If Tony’s raised eyebrows could reach his hairline, it would.

“Y-yeah.” Peter let out an embarrassed chuckle. “I’m okay! Just didn’t pay attention.”

“If you say so, here.” Harley sighed and retrieved an ice pack from their mini-fridge and tossed it towards the guy. Harley swore Peter didn’t look at the tossed ice pack. He was about to apologize but Peter effortlessly caught it. It was impressive… and suspicious. “Whoa! Got a sixth sense or somethin’?”

“Just luck! Lucky.” Peter nervously chuckled then gave him a tight-lipped smile. At the corner of his eye, he saw Tony facepalm.

“You got luck in opposite extremes, dude.” Harley laughed when suddenly, he received a notification on his phone. As he pulled it out of his pocket, he absent-mindedly saw Tony walk towards Peter as they conversed in whispers. It was a Twitter notification. His sister often tagged him in memes.

@harhar spidey’s at it again! lmao! you met him yet?

It was a tweet from The Daily Bugle but the source wasn’t important. The picture attached was glorious! it's like the dark clouds parted, a ray of sun bathed him with light and a choir of angels sang Allelujah!

Huh.

Harley grinned like the devil. This would be fun.

---

Harley loved the comfortable silence in the workshop once all three started working. They worked together like a well-oiled machine; not much words needed, just looks and signals. This time though, Harley decided to disrupt the flow a bit.

“So Tony, when are you going to introduce me to Spider-man?” Harley almost snorted when he saw Peter freeze in the corner of his eye. Harley feigned ignorance, of course.

“That depends if he’s free. Why the sudden interest?” Harley looked up and saw Tony’s genuine question.

“Well, my little sister Faith - you remember, wanna be an actress, obnoxious - she’s a huge fan. Like real huge. She even got this life-size cut-out of Spider-man and lugged it around at a party back home.” He desperately reined in his amusement when he saw Peter’s red-as-a-tomato face.

“Really?” Tony narrowed his eyes at him.

“Yeah, here.” He pulled out the photo he took of Faith hugging her Spider-man cut-out from his phone and showed it to Tony. “See?”

“Huh.” Tony smirked. Harley then turned the phone to let Peter see too and he wasn’t disappointed at his reaction.

“Where-where did she-where did she get that?” Peter crossed his arms.

“She’s part of this fan club; said she won it at a raffle.” With wide eyes, Peter looked at Tony at the mention of a fan club. “That’s the internet for you. They have fandoms for pretty much anythin’. Did you guys know there are Spider-man fanfiction stories? She told me all about it.” He gave Tony a slight smirk and at that moment, he knew Tony knows he knew. He watched as Tony’s eyes sparkled with mischief for a second before he played along.

“Is that so? Is it as huge as mine’s.”

“Nah, Spidey's new so there's not that many, yet.” Harley saw Peter desperately trying to get back to work and feign nonchalance but his fidgety fingers won’t let him. “I scanned some of them. There’s action, angst, comedy and then, there’s a lot - and I mean a lot - of smut.”

“W-w-what?!” Oh, Peter. Harley’s delighted though.

“Yeah. One time, when I was really concerned, had to make sure Faith's internet searches are PG so I checked out some of the stories. Faith’s only eleven, by the way.”

“Yeah.” Tony said..

“Yeah, so I stumbled into one story about a risqué night between Spidey and this mugging victim he rescued. He was invited to the victim’s house as a thank you. Then he was offered coffee before they both went in the bedroom where they-”

“Mr. Stark," Peter jumped, "I-I-I have to make a call! Have to tell May I’ll be late. She’ll be mad if I don’t, ya know?”

“You can just use FRIDAY, kid.”

“No, it’s cool, cool, cool, cool. I’ll just-I’ll just step out of the workshop for a bit. Be right back.” Peter almost ran out of the workshop; his face in danger of being permanently red. As soon as the door closed behind him, Tony signalled for FRIDAY to soundproof the workshop before they both laughed their asses off.

“Oh god!” Tony wiped the tears off his eyes. “You’re a little shit, Harley!”

“Can’t help it!” Harley wheezed. “Just wanna confirm my suspicions but Peter just made it so easy!”

“How did you find out?” Harley pulled out the photo from the tweet and showed it to Tony. “Oh great, that's gonna trend."

"It is trending. Got it from a Daily Bugle tweet."

"His Spidey sense - he named it - is still evolving. So…" He gestured at the Harley's phone.

"Whoa! So he does have a sixth sense!"

"Among other things. Are you gonna tell him you know?"

"Nah, I'm just gonna see how long I can keep this goin’." Harley grinned.

---

Apparently, fate decided to speed things along. It was later that day, a few hours before Harley’s supposed to fly back home to Rose Hill, when he told Tony and Peter his plan to go to the city on his own and just experience it all. Oh and, Faith asked for a Spider-man merchandise and apparently, the compound didn’t have a gift shop.

”Seriously? Not even any official Spidey merch?” He was dubious.

”He didn’t accept the Avengers position so, no.” Was that a hint of sadness from Tony? Hmm...

He was tempted to ask Peter where he could buy them but decided to give the guy a break. Instead, he asked FRIDAY and she gave him a list of all possible places, most of them were in Chinatown. So, Chinatown it was. Happy dropped him off at the corner of Broadway and Canal St. with a stern warning.

“Kid, you have an hour. If you’re not in this exact spot later, you find yourself a way to the airport.”

“Awww Happy, your Grumpy is showin’.” He grinned and he earned a glare for that cheek. In true Happy fashion, the tires of the Audi screeched as he drove to get away. Harley chuckled as he walked along Canal St.

New York never failed to fascinate Harley what with all the diverse cultures and personalities he wouldn’t see in Tennessee. There are a lot of bootleg stuff too, perfect for his non-billionaire budget so he thought he could buy a purse for his mom along with the plush Spidey toy for Faith.

It only took him around thirty minutes to buy gifts then food - he got hungry - and walk around Canal St and thought he could go and venture out to smaller streets. Ever since he told his mom about the internship visits to New York, she’d been so worried for him. Can’t blame her though, most stories that came out of New York were of aliens, kidnappings and other crimes. So, before she agreed to the arrangement, she explicitly warned him to be cautious and to not be stupid. Harley knew he was being stupid as soon as he saw three men with baseball bats and metal pipes. They seemed to surround something on the ground and as Harley walked closer, the situation became clearer.

“Just give us the money or else!”

“P-p-please, I-I-I can’t!” A boy cowered in a corner, a backpack in his arms. “It’s m-money for my mom’s m-m-medicine.”

“You think we care ‘bout that?!” The mugger laughed and mocked the boy. “Give us the fucking money or you won’t go back home to your mom!”

Damnit! Harley looked around for something he could use but all he saw was half a brick and a brown broken leg of a table. Well, better than nothin’. He picked up both. He aimed at the leader’s head and threw the brick. Bullseye!The yelp from the guy made Harley smirk.

“Muggin’ a helpless boy,” he tutted, “ya’ll so pathetic.” Harley’s southern accent always got thicker in stressful situations. The guy he threw a brick at growled and stalked towards him.

“Look guys, a country bumpkin!” The others followed suit menacingly.

“Kid,” Harley looked at the cowering boy, “get outta here!” The boy didn’t need telling twice. He stood and ran away from the scene. The muggers continued to walk closer to Harley as they brandished their weapons.

“You shoulda just walked away, southern boy.” Harley clenched his jaw, both hands on the piece of wood he found and braced himself for a fight. One of the guys raised his bat but before he could do more, a web latched on to it and was pulled out of his hands. When the guy looked up, he was webbed and pulled towards the wall where he got stuck.

“What the fuck?!” The other two looked around in fear.

“Hey, guys!” Spider-man landed beside the head mugger then swept the guys leg off the floor. As soon as the guy landed on his ass, Spidey webbed him to the floor. “I’m Spider-man. Nice to meet you!”

Whoa! Harley was amazed! It was one thing to watch Spider-man from potato quality videos and it’s another to see him fight in person. When Spidey successfully webbed up the last guy, Harley just remembered then regretted not pulling out his camera to take a video of it. Damnit! Good job, me.

“Hey, you okay?” Spider-man asked him. Harley looked at the muggers and saw they’re all knocked out. “Are you hurt?”

“No, no, no. I’m good. I’m good. Thanks, Peter. Hoo boy! That was, that was scary! New York, huh?” Harley grinned at Spidey and lightly punched him on the arm but the guy just froze and stared at him, the eyes on his mask were wide open. “What? Whoa!” Spidey suddenly carried him and swung up a building’s empty rooftop.

“Oh my god!” Harley exclaimed as soon as they landed. “That was awesome! So that’s how it felt like! Faith’s not gonna believe this!”

“How did-When did-How-What the-” Spidey seemed like he was about to hyperventilate.

“Ok, calm down. Breathe.” They both took calming breaths and let the adrenaline rush ebb away.

“Did-did Mr. Stark tell you?” Spidey asked as soon as they’re both calm.

“Nah, I figured it out.” He smirked.

“How?” Harley pulled out his phone and showed him the picture from The Daily Bugle tweet. It’s a collage of burst mode photos of Spider-man as he successfully avoided a flying drone but then he swung face first to a street lamp. “Street lamp, huh?” He grinned.

“Wait, that could’ve been just a coincidence.”

“Yeah but your reaction when I told you guys about my sister’s Spidey obsession was hilarious and a dead giveaway. That and the freaky sixth sense you have.” Spidey groaned.

“Are you telling me that-that smut story was real?!”

“Nah, I made that up.” Harley chuckled as the other huffed in relief. Then again, Harley’s a little shit. “But there are Spidey smut fanfics. Loads of them.” He cackled when Spidey groaned.

“Can’t believe this.”

“Oh please, you’re a nerd. You’re in the Star Wars fandom. You should know these things.”

“Yeah but, I’m just-just Spider-man.” He shrugged.

“Hey, you’re doing great things. You save people so of course a lot of them would love you. Just umm,” Harley side hugged Spidey, “if you don’t want to be scarred, don’t google yourself without SafeSearch on.”

“Harley!” He gasped. Harley couldn’t help but let out an evil laugh.

“Come on, that’s solid advice.”

“Oh my god!”

“Ok, seriously, what else can you do? Those webs aren’t organic, right?”

“No, I made them.”

“That explains the huge bottles of chemicals in the workshop.”

“I have umm, enhanced strength, senses, really fast healing and I stick to everything.”

“Everything? Even a sheer surface like glass?”

“Yeah.”

“Hmm, interesting. Even a non-stick pan?”

“I umm… I actually don’t know. I’ll test it out later.”

“Let me know, okay?” Harley grinned.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Oh, before I forget, do you mind if I take a selfie with you?” Someone in Tennessee’s gonna flip.

“No, it’s okay.” After they took a selfie, Harley sent it over to his sister and, as he expected, he received a Facetime request. “Oh umm. Brace your ears.” He warned before he accepted. A piercing squeal - the pigeons perched at the rooftop flew to get away from the noise - came from Harley’s phone as Faith’s image appeared.

“HARLEY!!!!!!!!”

“Hey sis, meet my friend.”

“Hi, Faith!” Spidey waved and Faith let out another squeal. Harley could feel Spidey freeze by his side.

“Jeez Faith, stop screeching! You’re hurting his ears. He’s got enhanced senses.”

“Sorry, sorry…” Faith whispered. “Oh my god, you know my name. Hi Spidey, I love you!” She used her hands to form a heart shape.

“Umm…” Harley could tell he didn’t know how to respond to that.

“Faith...” Harley warned.

“Okay, okay… Sorry. It’s just, I’m a big fan! Hi!”

“Sis, you get one question then Spidey needs to go fight crime and save people, alright?”

“Okay, umm… Do you have a girlfriend?” Harley rolled his eyes. Of all the- He should’ve seen this coming.

“Umm, no. No, I don’t.” Bless his heart. He bravely answered. Faith screamed again.

“Alright, that’s enough. Bye, Faith!”

“No, wait! Wai-” Harley ended the call and sighed.

“Sorry about that.”

“No, no, no, it’s fine.”

“Don’t let that get in your head.”

“No, of course not!”

“Good. Oh, shit!” Harley looked at his watch. “Happy’s gonna kill me.”

“Come on, I’ll get you there faster.” Spidey, with his arm around Harley’s waist, lifted him before he jumped off the building. Harley loved the feeling of swinging. It was like being on a rollercoaster. It gave him an idea though. What if one day he could fly too?

---

Before going to bed that night, Harley grinned as he received a message from Peter. It’s a photo of a pan stuck on his hand with a message, “Yup, I can.”

[toyswelike1]

The Toy Chronicle | Six Foot Turkey Toys ‘HE-DUCK’

The Toy Chronicle | Six Foot Turkey Toys ‘HE-DUCK’

What better way to cure the Monday blues with a healthy dose of bootleg style humour! we can always count on Six Foot Turkey Toys as they present to you the most powerful duck in the universe! HA. We don’t know about powerful but boy he is HENCH! will he float in the bath? Who knows, all we know Six Foot Turkey Toys ‘HE-DUCK’ has been unleashed into the universe! -Two points articulation…

[heartshoovespaws]

Bootleg Games

Okay, so something new we’re gonna do on this blog is play some Bootleg Palace Pet games or games that involve the Disney Princesses with Animals.

Our first game is Ariel Dolphin Wash  which involves, well...Ariel washing a dolphin, pretty self explanatory. This one is made by one of the top dogs of these bootleg girl games, GirlG.

Here we have Ariel sitting on a rock with a purple dolphin near Eric’s castle (Her dad’s not gonna be happy about that). While I wouldn’t be opposed to a dolphin Palace Pet for Ariel (Or Melody, because she deserves more love). there would be problems with that, since most of the Palace Pets are land mammals or reptiles. They’d be restricted to the sea. 

I’m not sure how thee flower thingy’s work...are they supposed to make the dolphin smell like flowers? Is it like a bath bomb? What if the flowers float off. Heck the one by their tail is already floating towards the shore!

And next we lather the dolphin in body wash. Mixed with the expression of the dolphin, this is super hilarious to me for some reason. It’s like they’re judging me...or they’re gonna stab me with a seashell for doing this to them.

And instead of having the dolphin just dunk their head under the water, Ariel needs to pour water on their head. I guess it wouldn’t be much of a “dolphin wash” if the dolphin had to do stuff themselves. 

And now more bubbles! You can never have enough bubbles!  Hey, it looks like the dolphin has a bubble beard, that’s kind of cute.

And now Ariel holds out basically a bath toy of an octopus to the dolphin. Do they have bath toys under the sea? I assumed kids down there just played with seashells are something....I guess unless they do have plastic production down there...or it’s from Ariel’s grotto...which has horrifying implications since it’s implied most of the human stuff she gets is from sunk ships.....

And now we are underwater. Next they’re gonna play with some seaweed.....I know there’s an obvious joke with seaweed, but I’m above that...(Okay not really but lets move on). 

And next the dolphin swims through a hoop. Usually that is a really cool pet trick...less cool when you’re under water and the dolphin just swims through it....

And to finish it off, the dolphin does a ball trick, with a bal no doubt also from Ariel’s grotto. Same with those Hula Hoops...wait...

Welp, I guess this game takes place in the 60s....

Anyways the game wasn’t too bad, but it’s pretty average for one of those generic bootleg girls games.

[simonsaidfred]

Love Forever, an Otasune Fic

(I Already Have Over 9,000 Writings I’m Working On, Here’s A Random Drib!Fic it gets a bit smutty at the end but it’s mostly shippy slighty au, probably somewhere circa MGS2 also, can you tell I’ve been obsessed with cleancore blogs lately?)

Snake held two bottles to his face, scowling and squinting at the labels. Which one is bubble bath…? He wanted… an obscene amount of bubbles. A Curly Sue amount of bubbles. Otacon had been hunched over his computer for days now, hacking here, coding there, working all the while. He threw words around like Breakthrough! and Nine months of work finally paying off! and Philanthropy isn’t going to be fringe anymore! He wasn’t wrong - the progress he was making toward… whatever… was unprecedented. Snake was, as always, impressed with his partner. However, what he wasn’t impressed with was the smell. All the hacking and coding and dozing off for moments at a time at his computer, only to jerk awake and continue to work - other than quick breaks, he hadn’t spent more than one minute at a time in the bathroom. Personal hygiene had gone by Otacon’s wayside. And Snake had had enough. I’m sure a bath would help him relax, Snake reasoned. When was the last time Otacon relaxed? The mission was Operation: Bathe Otacon, and it began immediately. …after a trip to the store. They had basically nothing by the way of shower products, and certainly nothing fancy - dollar store bottles of White Rain 3-in-1 that were three fourths water, and a couple of travel size bottles of store brand dandruff shampoo. This would never do. Snake grabbed his wallet and car keys, approaching Otacon from five o'clock. The scientist startled slightly when the soldier’s caressing hand made contact with his shoulder, and then relaxed into the stroking sensation. “Hey Snake, you’re never going to believe this. I created a whole new interface for the new version of the codec I’ve been working on, and Nastasha sent me some –” “That’s fantastic. Listen, I’m going to the store for a few things. Do you need anything?” “Just for you to come back.” Otacon pushed against the desk to spin around, smiling up at Snake. He perched criss-cross applesauce on the office chair, right knee bouncing slightly. He wore a heather grey t-shirt with a picture of an anime on it, and pajama pants patterned with the same cute cartoon over and over. Snake leaned over, kissing Otacon on the cheek, then backing away immediately. “Teeth. Brush them while I’m gone.” “O-okay…” Otacon stammered sheepishly, glancing down. Snake caught his chin with his hand, pointing his gaze back up. “You’re doing important work, work that no one else is capable of. Stepping away for a minute isn’t going to derail anything you’ve accomplished, Otacon.” With that, Snake kissed him firmly, lips pressed together, a quiet affirmation. When they separated, Otacon’s eyes slightly hazy, Snake teasingly pushed his shoulder, spinning him a quarter turn. “Seriously. Brush your teeth, nerd.” With that, he walked out the door. Otacon spun back to his computer, smiling. (Cue music: Push It To The Limit) Snake pulled into the parking lot of the Target. Shopping was difficult for the legendary mercenary; large crowds of unwashed masses tended to put him on edge. Wal Mart was basically impossible, and smaller dollar stores, which Otacon preferred, weren’t Snake’s favorite either.¹ Target would have to do. Snake stood in front of a wall of dozens of different varieties of bath soap under the bright fluorescence, arms crossed, finger raised to his pursed lips, deep in thought, pondering the eternal question.. Peach or apricot…? Snake was way out of his element here. He could disassemble and reassemble a gun in the time it takes to say “exfoliating body scrub,” but in settling between that and honey citrus coconut what the fuck ever… He needed help. An employee stood a bit down the aisle, facing shelves. Snake grumbled a bit, approaching from their seven. “Excuse me… I was wondering if you could help me.” The employee turned toward Snake’s voice, smiling helpfully. Her name tag stated her name, Lacey. “Sure! There’s quite a selection, it can be a bit overwhelming!” “I’ll say. I don’t know much beyond Lava and Irish Spring.” “Oh, gosh!” Lacey exclaimed. “Well, do you have anything in mind? Are you picking up something for your wi…?” “My partner,” Snake said, rubbing the back of his neck. “He really needs a nice, relaxing bath. I’m picturing a Curly Sue bubble bath.” “I love that movie!” Lacey laughed. “Bubble baths can be nice, but for deep relaxation, I would actually recommend a milk bath.” “A milk bath?” Snake raked his fingernails thru his six o'clock shadow thoughtfully. “Yeah. Here,” she reached down for a bottle. “This is a lavender chamomile milk bath. You can’t beat lavender or chamomile for relaxation.” Snake glanced at the label. Purple. He nodded appreciatively. “This is perfect.” “Let me know if you need help with anything else,” Lacey said with a smile, turning back to the shelves she had been tending to previously. Snake continued studying the shampoos, taking one down at random and popping the lid open to sniff it. Unsatisfied, he set it back down, gaze listing to the right aimlessly. What would Otacon like? His eyes settled finally on a black and red bottle. He picked it up, popping it open and inhaling the fragrance. Roses and berries. He turned the bottle over to read the label. Caress® Fine Fragrance Love Forever™². Snake stared at the label incredulously. We have a winner. Snake returned to the apartment, opening the door with a bit of trouble with the shopping bags. After a brief struggle and a bit of a commotion, he managed to get the door open, calling a greeting to Otacon. “Kept you waiting, huh?” Otacon was slumped at his keyboard, head resting on his crossed arms. His shoulders rose and fell evenly, three blue Z’s floating above his head. Snake closed the door behind him, setting his keys and the bags on the kitchen island. He crossed the living room to where the scientist slept, pulling the hoodie from the back of the chair over the sleeping man’s shoulders, leaning over to kiss him on the cheek. Mint. Good boy. Snake made some tea and ran a bath. The bathroom mirror fogged from the steam floating in the air. A heavy foam of bubbles floated on top of the bath water. Once the tub was three fourths full, he shut the water off. “Otacon.” Snake rubbed the sleeping man’s shoulder. “Wake up.” “Huhh..” Otacon slowly sat up, sleepily wiping his mouth. “Oh, Snake.” He adjusted his glasses, which Snake gently plucked from his face. “Wha–” “Otacon, it’s time to take a bath.” Snake set the glasses on the desk, folded neatly. He took the hoodie from Otacon’s shoulders, returning it to the back of the chair. He then moved closer, hands on either side of Otacon’s shirt, lifting it with no resistance from him. “I have so much work to do…” Otacon began to protest weakly. “Yes, you do. We both do.” Snake placed his hands on Otacon’s shoulders, leaning in to kiss him. “But right now, you’ve got a warm bubble bath with your name on it.” “Snake…” The scientist eased into the bath with a blissful sigh. The soldier rolled up his sleeves, kneeling at the edge of the tub. He squeezed a palmful of Caress® Fine Fragrance Love Forever™ into his hand before raising a slight lather, massaging it into the scientist’s chest. “Snake, this is wonderful,” Otacon breathed into the steam. His hand reached up, grabbing Snake’s wrist. His eyes slid closed as he moved Snake’s hand down into the water to caress him. Snake smirked as he began to stroke slowly, his other hand reaching to unzip his jeans. His erection strained against the fabric, popping free to stand tall. Otacon opened an eye at the sound of unzipping, and then both eyes popped open. “Snake!” “Otacon…” Snake continued slowly stroking Otacon's​ cock as Otacon leaned over, his lips parted slightly, taking the head of Snake’s… well, snake into his mouth. Snake’s eyes slid closed as a low moan escaped from his parted lips. fade out ¹Otacon likes dollar stores because they often have obscure or bootleg toys, as well as cheap electronic components; Snake doesn’t like the narrow aisles (source: my headcanon) ²In researching body wash scents for this very fic, I found Caress® Fine Fragrance Love Forever™. Imagine my delight. Please pay me, Caress®. (Link to Caress® Fine Fragrance Love Forever ™ Otasune art I did as a companion piece to this.)

[stimboardsforkin]

Fresh self care for anon

Custom hello kitty squishy: https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/488511154/custom-hello-kitty-deco-donut-squishy?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=squishies&ref=sr_gallery_22

Rainbow fluffy squishy: https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/492156935/rainbow-stuffed-pompom-stress-ball?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=squishies&ref=sr_gallery_27

Macaron squishie: https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/501775635/macaroon-squishy-kawaii-squishy?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=squishies&ref=sr_gallery_26

90s burger squishie: https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/473386297/bootleg-hamburger-squeaker-children-toy?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=90s%20squishies&ref=sr_gallery_4

Bath bomb: https://www.etsy.com/uk/listing/223850240/cluelessly-cotton-candy-bath-bomb-90s?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=90s&ref=sr_gallery_1

[comixboost]

POPSCARS issues 1 & 2

A Hollywood revenge story about Pinky and the famous movie producer she's out to kill ... who just happens to be her father.

Can she rid the world of this dirtbag once and for all, or will she be just another failed Hollywood dream?

Pat O’Malley, Santi Guillen, and Punch Publising bring you a neon-bathed, neo-noir, Tarantino-style thrill-ride.

The @kickstarter funded in less than 48 hours! And it's no surprise why--just LOOK at the art in these issues.

https://bit.ly/3zjgs4b

Reward tiers start at only $1 (!!) with packs for digital comics, physical books, variants, pins, and special high-tier prizes including a bootleg toy!What are you waiting for?!

[jimmymfknwinn]

Of all things @donnyomalley likes my pics of my bootlegged spongebob and bath toys. #SemperFriesandApplePies