#boy cries over glass more at 6

[blowflyfag]

Can I have nothing good in this life

[jujutsukgojo]

The Baby Project chapter 2

izuku midoriya x reader

Chapter one

Summary: When Kaibara gets increasingly worse, a hero comes in the nick of time.

tw: dead beats, assault, mention of Mineta's crimes,

You wipe the booths for the next customers. Heading back behind the counter, you ask your tables if anyone needs anything. It’s the same old thing you’ve come to love. Children are coloring in their coloring pages and are waiting for their juice boxes while their parents order grilled cheese. The kids write ‘secret’ messages to you about them getting sweets. An indecisive couple who finally settle on the most basic things then call you back to change it.

  The restaurant has been up for ages and has regulars that have been the nicest people to you. So many debates on whose cooking is better. You, Yona, who’s your boss, or Ken’s, the cook. All for the sake of laughs and gentle teasing. They have the faces that tell a story you want to hear and senses of humor that vary more than snowflakes. 

   Plucking the fresh, hot pot of coffee from the machine, you head over to your playful regulars. A group of older men who have taken a liking to you and have acted like grandpas. They are a highly playful bunch who make you smile every day.  “Here we are boys.” 

  “Ah, (Y/n), looking rather dashing today.” Ren puts his head on his hands. He's a man with laugh lines and salt and pepper hair. Ren has been a regular at the restaurant for years who always orders apple pie with cheddar cheese on the side with whip cream, day or night, breakfast, lunch, or dinner whenever he’s around.

“In the same old uniform that you saw me in yesterday. Seriously?”

  “Can’t I compliment you?”

“Yeah, when it doesn’t come with asking if you can get the meal for free.” 

He sighs. “Dammit.”

  Yona calls you to her. Her dyed red hair is easy to spot. She sucks on her lips and eyes you nervously. You quickly rush to her, not liking the look on her aging face. “Yeah?” 

She extends her hands to you. “Someone left this for you. It was given to Ken when he went out to take out the trash.” 

  You gasp and drop the pot of coffee, its glass and hot liquid spreading on the floor. Some of the liquid touches your shoes and the heat makes contact with your feet. Even then you barely register it. The noise gathers the attention of the patrons and Ken, who comes out of the kitchen. Your eyes start to mist when you see Noa without a blanket or his diaper bag. His feet are cold and he’s shivering.

________________________

You sniffle as you pat him. It’s after hours and the only ones in here are those who work late and are finishing their meals. When you saw Noa, you immediately freaked out. The customers were quick to see if you were alright, but Yona made you go somewhere else to process everything. 

Throughout the entire restaurant, Noa’s cries were heard. You have been in the kitchen with Ken and even in Yona’s office to get the noise away from the customers. Nothing worked until he was warmed up.

“Just breathe, kid. Ken knows of your assignment. He was gentle like it was real.” You kiss Noa’s soft head, his chubby newborn face is now free of stress and his mouth no longer lets out a shrill wail.

With a gruff voice Ken calls out from the kitchen. “I thought it was real. Look at it.” 

  “I can’t believe this. I just wanted him to help. Classes are over. He isn’t doing anything. How could he be this way?” Noa coos and tries to breastfeed and starts to give out whimpers every time he fails. Yona gives you the bottle that was left with Ken. “The packaging threw me off but I figured it out.”

   You go to feed Noa. He’s been terrible at taking it since the project started. Finally after some coaxing, he latches on. “He’s doing it!” He’s only been fed like, 5 or 6 times by you. You just hope Kaibara managed to get something in. 

  “Thank you.” You sniffle. “Other than this, why are you crying? Noa’s fine.” She tickles his feet. He jolts his leg from the sensation, not once removing the nipple from his mouth as he hungrily sucks on the milk.

“U.A. doesn’t allow students to work unless they’re in the hero course. I get a stipend but that’s less than others since I’m on a scholarship. It’s weird but true. So, I took this job to help me out. I had to ask him to help me get things so I wouldn’t borrow from my friends.”

  Yona wipes your nose. She’s always been motherly to you; sometimes overwhelmingly so. “Now he knows. He’s the one who had to pay for some of his things and was mad about it,” You look up at the older woman who is listening intently. “Yona, what if he doesn’t understand my situation?”

  You didn’t come from diamonds and gold. You don’t have the funds to go to this fancy school or have parental help. Plus, U.A. just now started the stipend thing and you have a cut. This project is terribly expensive, and the stipend can’t cover it at all. It barely takes care of you.

You make sure to place him directly on your chest to be as comforting as possible. The position mimics breastfeeding which is a little awkward for you but worth it since he calms down after. 

  “The hero course gets paid from their internships and stuff. He has more than me, so I didn’t think he’d mind. Plus, we’re partners in this.” You remove the bottle from the little baby’s mouth.

 “It wasn’t crazy stuff either. Just diapers from Mei Hatsume-”

“The inventor, right?”

“Yeah, her. It was a pacifier and clothes, stuff like that. The only reason he went to the store with me is because Tetsutetsu embarrassed him or something.”

“Real Steel?” You nod. “Kaibara gave me like, twenty bucks maybe? I’m happy he did something but it didn’t really help. I took most of the bill and I still couldn’t get all the things Noa needs. Toss me a towel, please.”

You place it on your shoulder and hope for the best.  Noa burps and throws up a little. This is the first time Noa has burped perfectly with you. Usually, you have the hardest time doing it. As you try to hold him better, his weight gets heavier. 

Your eyebrows raise.  “Already?” 

“What’s happening, baby?” You quickly cradle him for them to see. “He’s growing! He was a newborn now look!”

  You unbutton his onesie so he can have room to grow. His belly tells his age. “Four months?”

What did you or Kaibara do to get to four months already? Noa’s face no longer looks like an old man but an actual baby where his features begin to be more identifiable.

“Good job, pepper!” Ken comes out of the kitchen and puts out his cigarette, not wanting it to be around Noa and hinder your progress. You breathily laugh, smiling down at Noa. He looks more aware now and he still favors you in the looks department.

   “He needs some more-”

“Say no more. I still have my girl’s baby clothes. A few onesies, shirts and pants, maybe? I’ll check but I know I have some. Maybe my boy’s, too.” Ken rubs your head with his meaty hand. As strange as he is, a grumpy middle aged guy who needs a haircut and to stop hitting the gym so much, he’s sweet. Rough around the edges but the sweetest man you’ve ever had the pleasure knowing. 

Yona kisses Noa’s chubby feet. He wiggles his toes. “And I still have my kid’s bassinet. It’s old school but sturdy.”

You thank them both then pause.

  “What happens at four months?” You look to the adults who have kids of their own. “Hell if I know. I was in jail.”

“Ken, not now.” 

“He should be-” Then Noa screams. You look him over, not finding anything. You then undo his diaper to see if he's wet and see a horrible rash. “What?!” 

On him was a regular pamper. Kaibara put a regular U.A. diaper on him and didn’t even do it right. “No, no! Crap! Did he give you the diaper bag?”

  “Just the baby and a bottle, pepper. And the bottle was empty. I don't know why he was carrying it like that. I was locked up and I know bett-”

"Ken, please. No prison stories."

You take it off of him before it gets worse. You don’t know why he decided to do this. You told him not to, right? It wasn’t like you chose it. Noa just happened to have needed them. Just like Ema’s baby can’t be around anything that’s not cotton or the baby will get a rash. Or Benio’s daughter throwing up the school’s formula and having to go to get a special formula from them that cost more. 

   The babies are extremely diverse, just like real ones.

“Alright, alright.” Yona takes Noa to the kitchen and bounces him as she goes. Ken rubs your back again. “Do you want me to talk to him?”

Maybe.

“No. I have to.” You rub your forehead. “I don’t know what to do though. He hates me for some reason. It all started when I said no to the name Sen.”

  You groan. “And he knows that I work. What if he uses it as black mail? I won’t be able to afford anything!”

“This is based on real life, right?” You nod. “If he does anything, get him for child support. He’s taking your income thus away from the child. Your stipend can’t cover you both and he’s an absent parent. Let the school handle him.”

You take in his words. The stipend can barely help you. No way would it be able to handle a growing baby. 

“That’s too serious. This isn’t that bad, right?” Ken sighs and sits next to you. “Yeah, it’s an assignment. Just a project that’ll end sometime soon. But he isn’t helping. Rather than watch him for a couple of hours, he hands him over in a back alley to a strange man,” He gestures to himself.

“Well not strange-” He corrects.

“Eh…”

“Little one, I swear to God,” You laugh and wipe your eyes. Talking to these two have helped dry up some of your tears. “Listen, if he doesn’t start properly helping you, if he snitches and it affects Noa, then yeah. It's not permanent or anything. Just until the project ends and who knows? Maybe U.A. will let you work because without it, it'll take away from Noa."

“I don’t think it’s a thing here, though.”

“Not in this country, really. That doesn’t mean it isn’t a thing at that fancy school of yours. Force them. It's either that, or they let you work since they're being cheap towards you.”

You catch a ride from Yona as Ken closes up. You have to hurry back before curfew. Before she speeds to your school, she takes a detour to her modest home. With so little time left, you can only grab a few things with Yona promising you more tomorrow. You want to kiss her when you see all of the items she’s giving you. They’re old but completely welcomed. 

Back in the car with Noa in your arms grabbing your finger, Yona breaks the silence.

 “Take Ken’s advice. If the butthead holds this against you when you talk to him, you have to do something. This isn’t just affecting you. His pettiness is going to hurt Noa, too.” 

“You talk like he’s real.” You whisper as you pass the streetlights that just came on. It means curfew is about to start. Luckily, you were quick to change into your U.A. uniform. Hopefully, you walking in like normal will work. 

  “Noa would fool even All Might. All that thing is missing is a legitimate soul, and that’s it. His heart beats, honeycomb.” She watches how you interact with him. Even if you don’t realize it, you are treating him as if he’s real. 

"Yona...that's too serious. Like, that's grown up stuff. I don't think this situation calls for it."

"It's something to consider."

You scratch your cheek. "I don't know that's awfully...dramatic? He's just a grade." Yona scoffs and rolls her eyes. "It's not just about financial provision. It's about co-parenting which he isn't doing and what U.A. is trying to teach him to do," She sighs and looks at you then back at the road. "Look, if you won't do that, then go to your teachers. It's not snitching when it affects your grade like this."

"He'll tell!"

Yona's silent. She hears how desperate and sad you sound. "Even if he does, it's not like you're doing the worst thing in the world. Talk to him. Tell him if he doesn't shape up, then you'll go to the teachers. If they give you flack, give it right back."

  Yona pulls up to the dorms. “Alrighty, we’re here.” Your hands start to tremble. You’re not scared of Kaibara. It is the possibilities that get you. “Breathe honey, he’s just being an ass. Besides, he may not do anything. He could be perfectly reasonable if he asks.”

  “My scholarship could end, Yona.” The school doesn’t allow anyone to work except for the hero courses. The scholarship would end. Would you lose them too?

“Argue it. It’s what you do best. You may not like heroes or can fight like them, but in a war of words and law you’d beat all of them with your mouth taped shut. Defend yourself in your territory.”

  You take a deep breath. “I will.”

She grabs your arm. "He gave a child to some random man in an alley. What if Noa was real?" 

______________________

Yona loads the bags into your arms and places Noa in the wheeled bassinet. It is old, white laced and not the cleanest. The wheels are large and the fabric that drapes the bottom half is surprisingly soft.  Although it is not disinfected right now it’ll have to do until you can get inside and clean everything. You give Yona a kiss on the cheek, thanking her for everything. 

“You act like helping you is a chore. It’s okay, the sweetest honeycomb.” For some reason, that hits you in the gut. 

When Yona leaves, you repeatedly kick the door so someone can open it. A kid from the other General Studies class opens the door. They must be visiting because the other class lives on the other side of the building. 

  You enter your room and head to the bathroom for a bath. After today, it is definitely needed. That and Yona’s gifts need to be scrubbed too. They’ve been boxed away and preserved in an attic.

  You give Noa his sponge bath first. It was easy enough. He only screamed bloody murder the entire time other than that it was cake. You dry him off and set him on pillows so he could be propped up while you bathe. The curtain is open so you can keep your eye on him. 

  “I’m coming, sweetheart! Just one minute, please- shit!” Shampoo got directly into your eye. Noa cries louder, showing all of his gums and his little fists are clenched to his chest. You hurriedly try to rinse your eyes and grab Noa. 

  You suck at this. So, so, much. 

   You begin to get cold but you push that all aside in order to get him to be quiet. His wailing is loud in your ears. Finally, you decide to wash with him even though he’s already bathed. His head lays on your chest, resulting in the tears to be sniffles. 

“You just wanted some lovin’, huh? That’s okay, bub.” It’s not at all. Who is to say he won’t understand you and start all over again?

After the much needed shower, Ema comes in to see you in your robe and drying Noa off. “Do you hav-what’s that?” She lifts his leg, the red and rough rash is visible even on his outer upper thigh.

“Before you blame me, it was Kaibara. He put one on him.” You gently massage his skin and make a mental note to go to Hatsume about it. You shrug your shoulders. “I don’t know why he put the regular ones on him.”

 “Did you tell him?” 

“Yeah, I did. Or I think so? I don’t know. I’m exhausted.” 

She puts her hand on her hip. “If Eijirou was ever that lazy, I’d smack him.”

   “I think it weirds him out. All of it, you know?” She sits on your bed next to Noa. “That’s stupid. He deals with blood and gore everyday yet he can’t handle changing a baby in the right diapers? Ridiculous and lazy.”

Feeling the heat of anger rise up, you tell her, “Plus, he kept the diaper bag. So I’ll have to use a backpack.”

“He kept it? Did he at least give you some of the things in there?”

“Nope.” You’re not going to tell her the full thing lest your secret be found. She scoffs and throws her hands in the air. It’s nice to vent. “Stupid, lazy, and petty.”

  “Amen.” Speaking of prayers. “Did they handle that grape thing yet? How’s Riko anyway? I haven’t seen her.”

   Ema licks her lips. “Not good. The messages that Benio read were just the tip of the iceberg apparently. He sent dick pics, way more than innuendos, borderline if not outright, threats. It’s just a mess. I only saw a few of them but I totally see why she felt threatened.”

 You pause, taking in the information of what your friend went through. “You serious? A future hero?”

She hums and nods. “Yep. Word is that he’ll be expelled since everything has just accumulated to this. It’s like this is the final straw type of thing.”

“Should’ve gotten rid of him sooner.” You nibble on Noa's chubby feet, making him giggle. It's way better than him wailing.

“Definitely. Anyway, Snipe said there weren’t any more people so she could take a test or raise the baby herself. She chose to quit and take a test. Said the project was ruined for her.”

  “If that is the best decision for her health, I say let it be.” How bad was it? Benio was pissed when he read them and that didn’t cover much. So, what exactly did the grape thing do? How bad were these threats? Your heart aches for Riko and what she’s going through. It isn’t fair. 

“It’s a good thing you and Benio pushed it. This needed to be brought out. If he becomes a pro hero, the people he saves will be in jeopardy.” She messes with the edge of her nighttime shorts. 

  “Absolutely. He’s a bona fide predator. Yes, he fought in the wars. Yes, he helped save the world,” You count on your fingers. “That doesn’t give an excuse for assault or harassment.” 

  She fiddles with your quilt blanket. “I feel bad, peaches.”

“Why?” Noa flexes his fingers in awe. You wonder if his four month phase is already ending and he’s growing again. The growing process seems to be random. “Because I should’ve realized sooner. She was being paired with him. It was bound to happen. He’s the biggest pervert in the school. I should’ve gone with you guys and supported her.”

“You were raising your kid at a different table. No one blames you. We just happened to be there. This isn’t on us, it’s on that thing. ”

"I know. But her face when I saw her is gonna stick with me. I want to do something but what?" She licks her lips again and shakes her head. The subject changes as she focuses on his features. “He looks like you. Even his hair, see?” You chuckle and nod in agreement. 

“Yeah. I think that bothers him too.”

“So fucking lame.” Amen, again. “Wait, he’s bigger…he grew! Oh, I’m so proud of you!” She kisses your head. You raise your brow at her affection. “It says he’s four months but I think he’s growing again.” 

You massage his face. “Maybe Mei is speeding up the growth.”

  Her eyes roam around your room and stop at your little basket of his things. 

“Oh Lord. What’d you need?” She hums. “I wanted to see if you had any diapers to spare? Eijrou heard about it and wants to try.”

“Eijrou… he lets you call him by his first name?” She nods. “Yeah, we share a baby so there’s no reason to call each other formally. Besides, we get along really well.” It's not Ema's fault at all. Not the smallest bit. But it stings when it shouldn't. It is the partnership they have and you can't get it despite your efforts. You practically see the gold medal on her neck right now that shows she isn't failing. Could a start of a positive partnership be as simple as using his first name? The next time you see him, you'll give it a try.

  “Ooh, I’m telling Deku.” You finish all the steps of the diaper and put a simple shirt on him, opting out pants. You get up and go through your stash of them and hand some to her.

“I think I’ve moved on, actually.” You gasp loudly, holding your hand to your chest. “The biggest Deku groupie left the club?”

“Oh, shut up. I let go. There are things he’s happier with and I realized I’m happy too. There’s no reason to chase something when going in a different direction.” She has a slight blush on her face yet if you look closer, has a forlorn look. That blushy face is a dead giveaway for something else, though.“Wait…you and-”

“Don’t say it!” 

“Ema and Eijrou sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-” She flings a pillow in your face, making Noa giggle. His dimpled face makes you smile wider. He’s got to be more than four months old now. How? You don’t know what you’re doing right. So, you’re happy about it.

That and knowing she likes Kirishima, the ideal baby daddy. "I'm just fond of him, okay? It's early, so it might, I don't know, be the project?"

You nod, not bothering to hide your smile. Seeing them in the cafeteria was so sweet and domestic. It was something you could see for Ema. Something sweet, gentle, and kind. It's what you hope for her. Maybe Kirishima is the one who can provide that. They get along so well already and work together flawlessly. You become downcast as you think of all of the positives for her and Kirishima. Their teamwork.

You take a deep breath and stretch. After, you look around and slump your shoulders. “Shit, he has the bag. Can I borrow some formula? All I had was in that bag.” You look at Ema’s naturally glittery face. The glitter is used for freckles rather than the actual prints. You've asked her if it had to do with her quirk and surprisingly enough, it's just hereditary and not quirk related.

 “I’ll pay you back I swear.”  You put as much sincerity in your voice as you can. The dorms are locked so you can’t get to Kaibara and Noa’s going to have to feed soon. 

 Ema’s luminescent eyes look you over. She purses her lips then breaks into a playful smile. “I’ll accept it as a trade for the diaper.”

You don’t know how this is working, and you know in real life, there wouldn’t be this much support. Growing up you didn’t see half of this. Yet in such a short amount of time, the people around you made you feel safe and supported. You pray that one day you can pay them back. This whole thing is just an assignment. Nevertheless, this shows you the rare kindness of mankind. What a nice day this is.

_______________

 A few days later, you struggle to catch Kaibara. He’s actively avoiding you. Whenever you see him, he has the diaper bag and side eyes you. It’s nerve wracking and it’s pissing you off. There are things in there that you desperately need. 

You’ve managed to get some of the formula on your own. Noa is still at an awkward stage that his timer is set at four months but his development says different. You have to go to Hatsume to check on him.

In the morning, you put him in the wrap. You pack some of his things in an old, raggedy, backpack as a makeshift diaper bag. The actual baby bag is a lot better with more room, compartments and it’s absolutely sturdier. 

You take your notebook and write down the things he needs and on another page, a schedule that fits you. It’s a rough draft but with his schedule, the two of you should be able to compromise and come up with a plan. You’ve written down your number and where to find your room as well. The page even includes your friends’ numbers if he can’t get a hold of you. You pray that he can do the same and that there is an agreement on the plan.

   “Alright baby boy, let’s roll.” You see Ema and her baby girl, Hana. You poke her pink cheek. “Hey, little one.” 

“Ugh, don’t even.” Ema turns and walks. “What? What’d I do?”

“It’s not you, it’s her. She’s been so fucking ornery. All night she was screaming. I’m surprised you didn’t hear it.”

   You really didn’t. You and Noa slept soundly. “I didn’t hear anything.”

   “Lucky. It’s my night to keep her and this happens.”

“She’s a newborn, right? It’s bound to happen.” Ema shakes her head. “Nope, she’s eight months old.”

  “Eight months…” You suddenly feel insecure of Noa or at least your parenting. He must be in the process of growing since he’s doing more than a four month old should yet he’s still behind. Ema’s a natural at this, though. She’s doing something better. That gold medal is shining in your eyes brighter than before. You shouldn't feel this way. Ema wouldn't rub anything in your face.

  “Yep! Eijrou and I make a great team. I can’t wait to tell him. And show the set of lungs his daughter has.” She looks at you evilly. 

    Exiting the general studies’ commons, Ema looks around for Benio but doesn’t see him. “He could already be inside fuming like usual. The ponytail girl has been ticking him off.”

  “I still don’t understand. She’s a sweet person. What’s going wrong?” Ema asks.

“If you haven’t noticed, it’s the general studies’ students that are getting stuck solely raising the babies.”

  “I’m not!”

You kick a pebble that was in the way on the sidewalk. “No, but you’ve got a good one. The rest of us are struggling.”

  She kisses Hana’s head. “Do you want me to tell Ei? I’m sure he can talk some sense into Kaibara.”

You’d love that. 

“No. If he’s anything like Tetsutetsu, it won’t get through to him. Tetsu’s already tried.”

   “Seriously?” You hold the door open for her. “Yep. I went to Kaibara’s dorm and when Tetsutetsu found out he isn’t helping, he yelled at him.”

   Ema puts her hand on her hips. “I can’t believe this. You should go to a teacher. This is a partnered assignment.”

“I’ll give him some more time but if this continues, I’ll go.” It has been a little over a week already. 

____________________________

  You’re insecure of your plan. Yona and Ken advised it. Even though it makes sense, it feels so drastic and serious to go that far. Plus, going to the teachers feels like snitching. You’re ticked that he’s not helping and scared that he’ll tell on you. It’s like he’s got all of the cards.

You wave Ema goodbye when you spot Kaibara. “Oh, Kaibara!” You wave your hand at him. He taps his foot and has a gleam in his eyes that doesn’t seem friendly. “How’s the formula? You have it in the bag.”

“It’s okay.”

“Okay?”

“Yep.” The two of you talk at the side of the hallway. “I mean, is it running low? Because I also need some for when I take care of him.”

  He chuckles. “How long have you been working?” Your heart stops. “Kaibara…”

“No, because I gave you enough-”

“It was 20.” He glares at you. “Still, I gave you money when you didn’t need it. You stole.”

You can feel people watching as they go by. The tension between the two of you is getting higher. “I didn’t steal. This project involves the both of us. You act like I make a ton when I don’t. I work only for a few hours a week.”

  He slowly gets closer to you. He roughly hands you the diaper bag. “You make enough. Don’t ask fo-what is he wearing?”

  Noa wears a pink shirt with purple designs on it paired with grey leggings. He has thick white socks on his feet. “Clothes?”

  The shirt is from Yona and the grey leggings from Ken. The outfit looks very cute on him. Simple and easy.

 “Get that off of him.” His tone is steel and sharp. It makes you tense up for a second.

   You raise a brow, genuinely confused. “What?”

 “This is embarrassing. With the money you make you can’t put him in some good clothes?” You look down at Noa whose clothes are fine. “What’re you talking about?”

   “You did this on purpose.” He curses at you under his breath. A General Studies student walks past then stops and stares. They make eye contact with you. Their purple eyes wondering, asking, if you need help. The student takes off down the hallway.

You then remember that Ema uses Kirishima's first name to build a better bond. “It’s only clothes, Sen.”

  He curses again and roughly handles Noa, trying to take his shirt off. Noa begins to cry. You tell him to stop and get Noa away from him. Kaibara grabs your wrist painfully, making you yelp. You try to tug it free and protect Noa from having his clothes removed at the same time.

Just then, a scarred hand intervenes and grabs Kaibara’s wrist. Your partner looks shocked and then up at the owner. He’s, uh, a lot bigger than you thought he’d be. And his voice definitely sounds different in person. 

The man himself, Izuku Midoriya, aka Deku. His hands are large and his fingers slightly crooked. The scars and calluses tell stories of war and determination. His eyes are bright, like they're happy but his actions say different.

  Izuku says hello to his old friend while holding Kaibara's wrist tightly. You take this pause to grab Noa properly and readjust his clothing. This is all so fucking stupid. It’s like getting your group to help you do an assignment but they’re all fucking around. Fuck this, you’re putting your name on the paper and explaining to the teachers what happened. 

   “I’m sick of being nice to your dumb ass.” You tell Kaibara, who for the first time doesn’t look smug or annoyed. He looks…scared? In a gentle yet firm voice, Izuku Midoriya says, “Come on, let’s go.” 

His hand is placed on your waist to guide you away from Kaibara. He takes you away from his year hallway and towards the stairs.

“U-uh, I hope that was alright!” He rubs his hands together. “Yeah, it’s alright.”

   You expect him to walk away from you now that you’ve reached the stairs to go down to yours. Instead, he stays with you. “Thanks, by the way. I didn’t think he’d act like that.”

  “It’s not a problem. He was out of line.” He smiles down at you and Noa. “Is that the first time he’s done that?”

  His hero voice is on. “You mean being rough? Yeah. Blowing me and this whole project off? No.” You shrug and try to act unbothered. But your wrist hurts and Noa is squirming. “I accept it now and what I have to do.”

  “What do you mean?” The two of you begin to walk down. “I’m going to the teachers about it. The assignment’s just started and this is happening.” You are down the stairs and into your hallway. Only a few students are left, scrambling to find their class and handle their babies at the same time.

  Izuku’s eyes take everything in. You hope that he’s piecing everything together. That your class are the ones doing anything.

   “I’ll go with you.” You stop. “You don’t have to, Izuku.” He was about to speak until you said his name. He gets all red and covers his face and sputters. “Was it okay to call you by your first name?”

  “Y-yes!” And just like that, this guy resorted to being a red sweaty thing that's lightly tugging on his thick curls. Well, it is a little warm in the building. The bell rings for everyone to be in class. You curse under your breath when Noa begins to fuss. “Hold this.” You shove the bag into Izuku's hands. “What do you need? I can help!” 

   “He feels dry and he ate, give me a bo-bo.” Izuku eagerly looks into the bag. He stops. “A what?” Ah, right. “A pacifier.”

 “Oh, okay. That's cute, by the way." 

"I'll tell Ema about the compliment," He stares into your eyes. You gesture to the bag. "Right! What compartment is it in?”

  “The front flap,” He digs into the yellow one. “No, the blue. That’s where I put it.” He searches for it and frowns. “Are you sure? There’s nothing here or the yellow one.”

  “Try the main one, the big zipper.” Dread is filling deep in your belly. In those flaps were his pacifier, rattle, things to that nature. Now that you look at it, it’s a little flat. 

   “I can’t find it.” Noa cries louder by the second. “Keep looking!” Izuku’s hand is inside the bag. You hear rustling of some things. “It’s not in here-”

“Are you kidding?! Keep looking!” You rock Noa, who is increasingly getting louder. You don’t mean to yell at Izuku. He didn’t do anything wrong. He has been more helpful and less violent than Kaibara has been. 

   He puts his hand on your shoulder. “Breathe, just breathe,” You follow his calm directions. “Here, give him to me.” You trade the baby for the bag. He coos at the assignment and rocks him. The little brat starts to calm down. Izuku talks softly to Noa, asking how his day has been, and that he has to be good for mommy, all of the sweet things you'd expect. 

  “Where is it? Where-” It really isn’t here. You suck in your lips. All that’s in there are some clothes, diapers, and formula in a Ziploc sandwich bag for some reason. And there isn’t even enough for one bottle.

   Snipe slides the door open. “I thought I heard you-Oh, Midoriya! Long time no see.” Izuku goes on about Snipe’s latest take down. According to him, it was excellent. “Well, I’m glad to see you back. I thought you had a while to go?”

  “I finished early. Go beyond, plus ultra?” He nervously chuckles. Snipe stares at him for a second. “Plus ultra, Midoriya.”

   He then turns to you. “What is Midoriya doing with Noa?” What a dramatic tone difference.

“Snipe, I’d like to talk to you and Dracula after class.” Snipe scoffs. “Do you mean Vlad King?”

  “King Vladimir? Isn't that Dracula?”

Snipe rubs his face under his mask. “Whatever.”

_____________________________

After class, you meet up with the two teachers, Snipe and Dracula who is now known as Vlad King. As if they aren’t the same name. You asked Midoriya if he could watch Noa for a minute which he gladly accepted, then reminded you to call if you needed him. Unlike Kaibara, he immediately gave you his number. Red faced and all. He looked like he was having a heart attack while doing it.

“Snipe, Dracula-”

“ Vlad King.” The man in red grumbles. “Whatever. I know this is based on real life but Kaibara did something that bothers me.”

  Snipe sighs and sits on the edge of his desk. “This is up for the two of you to figure out.”

  “He got physical with me and Noa. If you don’t believe me, Midoriya is right outside. He saw everything.” Both of the teachers freeze. Dracula clenches his fists. “What happened?”

  “Has he done this before?” Snipe sits up, no longer slouching. “This is the first time he’s done this. But not the first time he’s neglected the assignment. At every damn turn he’s blowing me off and complaining. He’s not helping me at all.”

  “Start from the top and down to when he was aggressive.” Dracula’s eyes become serious. Not angry at you, though. Thank God.

  You tell them everything, leaving out your job. Ken and Yona are brought up, only called friends, and how they’ve helped you. No one is excluded from their rightful praise. Your friends here, the sales lady, even Midoriya who helped you and is doing so right now by handling Noa. 

   Vlad cracks his knuckle. “I’ll deal with him.”

“Vlad-”

“No. This is unacceptable. I know it’s up to them to figure out but what happened can’t be ignored or tolerated.” His leg is bouncing and fists are clenched impossibly hard. His fangs seem sharper than normal and eyes are blazing. “As a hero, we cannot allow that behavior to continue. A hero from my class? No. Absolutely not!”

  “I know-”

“No! He fails-”

“Kan, please! I’m just as upset as you are but we are forgetting to check the facts.” Snipe gestures towards you to calm you down, already noticing how your nostrils flared. “What I’m saying is that we must investigate the situation. If we go in guns blazing, it can cause more harm than good.”

  You understand that, but it doesn’t seem like enough. 

“I want him to help me and to apologize. I’ve been doing everything while he just jacks around.”

“I understand, (Y/n). This will be handled.” Vlad stands up and Snipe grabs his wrist. “Let’s talk to Midoriya. He’s the only witness?”

“No, some other guy ran to get Midoriya. He’s got purple eyes and since he was taking care of a robo-baby, I can guess that he’s from general studies because I know heroes aren’t doing anything.”

Snipe scolds you. “I’m serious, Snipe. I’ve only seen two heroes with babies and they were Kirishima and Tetsutestu. That’s it.”

Vlad snatches his wrist back and opens the door, startling Izuku who was cooing at Noa and kissing his plump cheek. “After we talk to Kaibara, you will be called, understand?”

Unlike how he was just seconds before, Izuku gets serious and firmly nods. His round green eyes don’t have the cheeriness they had just moments before. 

“Do you want me to bring him here?”

“No, I’ll be the one to do it.” Vlad disappears as he goes down the hallway, no doubt looking for his student. Snipe calls your name, gaining your attention. "You need to be here for this. I want you to tell your side of the story for the record then we'll bring Midoriya in." "Mr. Snipe, what if Kaibara gets mad at me?" He jerks and straightens up. "We'll handle him. You are safe, don't worry."

You put your hands on your hips. "This happened right under your noses. Who knows how long he's been like thi-"

"(Y/n), it will be handled. We need to investigate and write a report but trust me," He leans in. "You are safe and it will be handled."

"What about Noa? Are you gonna make sure he helps with Noa?"

Snipe gives a breathy chuckle and starts to slouch a little. He takes his shawl off and places it on his desk. Finally, he is back to being your teacher and not his hero persona. It's amazing how fast these people can switch depending on the atmosphere. "We'll talk to him. Honestly, (Y/n), I wish you would've told me sooner that he wasn't helping."

You let out a loud, "Ha!"

  "I'm serious." Shaking your head you humorlessly chuckle. "No, no. You are the same guy who kicked me out of class because of a project that you are making us do started crying. No way you would have my back if it weren't for Dracula looking at you."

  He flinches like he's been struck. The door opens again and reveals Dracula, some teachers, and Nezu. Dracula speaks first. "Kaibara will be here shortly. He is cleaning up from his internship."

Nezu pops out of Aizawa's scarf and waves at you. "Please sit down and relax, (L/n). Just tell us what happened." 

  The two hero course homeroom teachers, Snipe, the principal and a few others, all sit down. You look around and then at your surroundings. "Um, shouldn't we be doing this in your office, Mr. Nezu? And not my homeroom?"

 "This is quicker!" 

You sigh and then begin. "Today, Kaibara roughly grabbed me and Noa." 

"The assignment, correct? Noa Kaibara?"

"Yes. Anyway, I went up to him and asked for the diaper bag-" The door opens again, allowing Kaibara to come in. He loses his smile when he sees you. Again, a hero changes his demeanor at a drop of a hat. As quickly as he looked at you in disdain, he erased that in less than a second with a nonchalant smile to his superiors. His beady eyes find yours and make you squirm. You aren't physically afraid of him. It's what he has on you that makes you flinch.

He stands side by side with you at a distance. Kaibara turns to you and asks, "Where's the baby?"

Pfft, like he cares. "Noa's with Izuku."  You side eye him. Nezu clears his throat and says, "Kaibara, (L/n) says you hurt her and almost jeopardized your project. Is this true?"

Kaibara sighs and rubs the back of his neck. He shrugs his shoulders. "Unfortunately, I do know what she's talking about but she is blowing it out of proportion." Aizawa's gruff voice interrupts him before he can continue. "But you did grab her?"

"Yes, yes I did."

You spot Dracula's vein swelling. "And why-"

You raise your hand. "Before you all continue to talk to him, I want to tell it," You shift your weight on your feet. "I put clothes on Noa that Kaibara didn't like so he roughly handled Noa. Noa's wellbeing is our," You shoot Kaibara a glare he couldn't miss. "Grade, so I tried to protect him, but Kaibara turned his aggression on me. He grabbed my wrist-which still hurts by the way-and-" You pause. Should you do this? Is it time?

You then remember how he hurt you and Noa. Noa's cries and him reaching out to you, your fear not just for Noa, but for yourself. Your head is held high now as you let everyone know what Kaibara has done or not done.

"Noa is wearing hand-me-downs that some friends of mine gave me because I can't afford newer clothes. There isn't anything wrong with what he's wearing. A pink shirt and grey leggings. That's it. That's what he had a problem with. That his son is wearing pink."

"Kaibara!" The student begins to get flushed and shrink back at the scolding of the pro heroes in front of him. "Not only that, but he has not helped at all. When this project first started, we went to a baby store next to that old vendor guy, and Kaibara gave me twenty bucks then split because he didn't want to help soothe Noa. He ran because his son started crying."

  Cementoss nods. "Well, nerves are normal for parents."

 You refrain from a snarky remark. "I know this. But that was the first and only time he's held Noa, and he still didn't help." You should tell them that he abandoned Noa with Ken. However, that'd give him the opening he needs. And by the look on his face that's slowly turning red not from embarrassment, but from anger, he'd snitch out of spite.

 You should tell them that he did care for him for a few hours. You can't, though. He's got one over you. 

"This morning, he scared and hurt me and Noa. Your star witness out there has held him longer than Kaibara has. My partner as well as the rest of the hero course’s behavior has sunk to this. And it’s happening right under your nose. Let that sink in."

The room is silent, giving you another chance to talk. “Your favorite students aren’t helping. Make them.”

Nezu twiddles his thumbs and looks at you from Aizawa's scarf or rope thing. "We'll handle this. You're dismissed."

__________________________________

You exit the room, not even looking at Kaibara. His eyes were bulging out of their sockets and he was steaming. When you close the door, the air finally returns to you. 

  Izuku still holds Noa in the hallway. He rocks him and adorably so. He notices you standing there with a smile on your face.

“Are you okay?” His voice is gentle and warm. Filled with worry and compassion. It reminds you of the sweetness of Yona and Ken. 

  “I’m fine. Alright, it’s your turn.” You point your thumb towards the door. Right before you can get Noa from his arms, he still holds him as he rubs your shoulder and enters the room. “You…you took my baby.”

  To yourself, you whisper, “He took my baby.”

You look around the hallway to see if it's clear. When you see that it is, you finally cover your eyes and let a small tear fall. Is it because of Noa and the weight? What Kaibara did and the power he has? Maybe it's because you had to be saved by Deku, a hero. Or is it because you failed at doing something so basic: getting along with someone. Noa's not real, he isn't. But it hurts that he is rejected. Why?! He's a doll. One that breathes, has a heartbeat, and your face. Are these tears from exhaustion?

  Why are you crying silently in the hallway? This is just a grade. That has to be it. You're afraid you'll fail and lose your scholarship, and all of your hard work will go down the drain. You're afraid of being found out, that's all. Not because you can't get help from the person who is supposed to help you. Not because you feel like you are behind and everyone else is passing you. Not that your wrist still hurts. That reminds you, you have to go to Recovery Girl for it. And since she's not too far from Hatsume, you'll swing by and pick up some things.

Kaibara is in there. Would he get it or has this damaged everything? You take a deep breath. When Izuku comes out, you'll grab Noa and go to where you need to be. You hear the door open and a curious voice calls to you. You can hear Noa's senseless babbling behind you, too. What to say? What do you say about why you look like you’ve been crying?

  You will do what you know. You turn around and see Izuku hold a happy Noa. "U-uh, are you crying? What's wrong? Is it your wrist?" Izuku comes towards you. You roll your eyes and say, "No, I have allergies."

  Izuku looks behind you and doesn't see a window open. 

[they-call-me-emmy]

The Past is The Past 6

Tara Carpenter x Fem!Reader

Summary: Tara was faced with her 3 ghostface, and this time got so seriously injured she was in a coma. When she wakes up, she has no memory of the past 3 years...including you, her girlfriend.

Notes: Imagine this as our gals scream 7...since Jenna apparently quit and left me fucking DYING

Warnings: Uh, injury, violence, blood, our boy ghostyface with knives. Coma and memory loss if thats even a warning. Swearing. Uhm. Shitty 7th grade writing.

Tara traced a finger across her stomach. She was standing in front of a floor length mirror, her shirt tucked up to reveal her scars. They'd seemed so...simple. Like something that was just there. But now she knew the back story, thanks to Y/N.

She'd been stabbed 7 times in the first go, 3 in the second and, according to Y/N, 6 the third.

And memory loss to go with it.

Tara didn't tell Sam she knew. She didn't feel that Sam needed to know that she knew. She'd learned what she wanted too. She wasn't happy with the outcome, no. She'd never be happy with it. But the knowledge that she'd understand what they were talking about, that she wouldn't feel like an outsider, made up for it.

She tucked her shirt back down and stared at the one on her hand. She knew when she saw it that it went through her hand, but she never thought that would be the reason why. The pink, softer skin was like a reminder off what had happened now. She'd look at her hand and think about how she was a victim of a series of murders, coming away alive but scarred.

Was it worth the knowledge?

Y/N had started staying at the Carpenter's house more and more over the last week, and Tara had to admit. She didn't hate it. She still felt weird around Y/N, because she still felt like a stranger to Tara, even if she was a stranger who knew everything about her.

"Hey Tar." Y/N smiled, setting a basket of laundry on Tara's bed. Tara jumped a little.

"Hey."

"Sam told me to bring you the laundry. Said for you to go downstairs, she wants to talk." Y/N said, patting the laundry before turning and walking to the door.

"Alright, thanks." Tara sighed, exiting behind Y/N and walking downstairs.

Sam sat at the kitchen table, a glass of water in her hand. Tara couldn't tell by her stance if this was going to be a serious conversation or not.

"Tara...sit down." Sam said, a sort of softness to her voice that convinced Tara this was serious, but she wasn't in trouble.

Tara obeyed and sat across the table from her sister.

"So. I decided I should tell you...what happened." Sam said, a pained, forced expression on her face.

"Oh." Tara shrugged. "I already know."

"What?" Sam coughed. "How?"

"Y/N told me." Tara shrugged. "I wanted to know, so she told me."

"That asshole...Y/N! GET DOWN HERE!"

There was some footsteps and Y/N appeared at the door.

"Yeah?"

"You told her?!" Sam cried. "I thought we discussed this! I was supposed to tell her, I'm her sister! You shouldn't have done that, Y/N, she could have completely lost it or something!"

"I wasn't going to lose it-"

"This is a danger to her mental health!" Sam said. "You suck absolute ass at talking to people, you probably traumatized her or something!"

"We will circle back to that later, and I said it as easily as I could have."

"Yeah," Tara mumbled. "She explained it great, actually."

"Just...both of you, go upstairs."

.........................................................................................................................

I hate this chapter.

[babyboyagere]

5 times Daryl should have known you were little and the time he found out.

Chapter 6 - I gotcha

tags: Cg! Daryl Dixon, Litte! Male Reader, Classification AU/littles are known

You and Daryl had been dating for a few weeks, and it was marvelous. Alexandria had made you feel safe enough to admit your feelings to one another (you admitted and Daryl awkwardly agreed) and you were happily enjoying getting to know Daryl as a boyfriend.

You were worried, however, that he could tell you were a little. The more you got to know this side of him, the safer you felt around him. You fell asleep back to back with him every night, told him stories from your life before, and he told you about his. You had nearly slipped around him several times, but did your best to keep yourself in check.

That is, until you dropped a glass on the floor and broke it. The crash, the exhaustion, the cut you got trying to clean it up were all too much, and you curled into a ball sobbing, your headspace hitting you at once like a high-diver hitting the water. Daryl immediately rushed to your side, assesing the damage.

"Hey, 'sokay, I'm here. I gotcha,' He tried to get you to look at him, but you just grabbed his neck and hid your face in his shoulder, still crying. He sighed and lifted you up, setting you gently on the counter. You grabbed tighter, not wanting to be put down.

"I know, I know," He whispered soothingly, "I gotta clean up the glass real quick.''

After sweeping up the shards and dumping them in the trash, he picked you up again and carried you to the couch. He set you gently in his lap, rocking you back and forth, his caregiver instincts immediately taking over.

"Can ya tell me wha's wrong?" He asked softly. You could only cry, curling your face into his chest. Everything was too much, you were too small, too overwhelmed, too exhausted to even form sentences. Daryl just rocked you, content to hold you as long as you needed. After a long time, you were able to speak in small, hiccupy breaths

"I- m'sorry- small- s'toomuch-" you turned your face back into his chest.

Daryl immediately had a moment of realization. OH. That was why you bit your cuticules till they bled, that was why you wanted the surpressants, that was why you were always exhausted. Daryl held you tightly to his body, hoping somehow to undo years of damage the apocalypse did to you. Some littles never recover from longterm suppresion, and end up physically and mentally disabled.

"Can you tell me how old you are baby boy?" You held up two fingers. "Thats very tiny!" he said, in a voice you've never heard him use.

He rummaged around in his pocket for something, then popped a plain blue paci into your mouth. You immediately suckled on it, your hiccups and cries quieting down.

"There we go, little one," he continued to rock you back and forth, relishing the soft moment with you. You began to squirm, your back hurting from being in an awkward position for so long, so he adjusted, moving so you were laying flat on his chest.

"Feel better, cutie?" He asked, running his hands through your hair and scratching gently at your scalp. You nodded sleepily, barely containing a yawn. Now that you were safe, all you could do was drift to sleep.

"I gotcha, sweetheart. You're safe now."

an: hope yall enjoyed!! Reblogs are really appreciated and a great way to show me that you liked this fic:)

[chrisevansonly]

Wesley’s First Word (little duck au)

pairing: chris evans x momma evans x wesley scott

summary: well Wes has finally said his first word, I wonder what it could be?

warnings: none :)

a/n: wesley is finally starting to blabber more sounds and he can finally say a word, so why not blurb it🥰

Wesley was now about 8 1/2 months old and getting more and more animated by the second, he was so curious and such a funny little character, getting to see his personality as he grew something you and Chris were loving getting to experience.

Arlie was out with Nana Lisa for the day, they were having a spa day which also gave you and Chris a chance to relax and spend some extra time with Wes for a few hours. You let Chris sleep in and got Wes up making some pancakes and cutting up some fruit for him to eat, a smile on his face as he watched you move about the kitchen

“my handsome boy, is that good?��

He babbled back some nonsense and you smiled leaning down to press some kisses across his face

“oh yeah? wow, well tell me how you really feel this morning buddy”

“dada!!”

In an instant you froze eyes widening as your brain tried to decipher if you’d just heard Wes say his first word or not

“Wes what did you say baby? Did you say dada?”

“dada! dada!”

“oh my god..”

You smiled letting out a little noise of excitement before pressing kisses all across his face yet again, Wesley letting out giggles

“Oh my love, daddy’s gonna be so happy!!”

“Why’s that?”

Chris had walked into the kitchen, hair dishevelled, eyes tired yet loving as he came over to press a kiss to your lips

“Morning honey”

“Morning baby, I was just saying you’d be so happy because-”

Before you could tell Chris anything Wesley beat you to it

“Dada, dada!!”

You watched as Chris froze before smiling, you could see his eyes glass over a little just as you’d expected because when Arlie said her first words, albeit them being “mama” he cried for 45 minutes over it

“Yeah buddy that’s me!”

Wesley clapped his hands chanting ‘dada’ over and over as Chris picked him up out of his chair, pressing a kiss to his cheeks before holding him to his chest

“He said his first words baby…”

You came over to rest your head on his shoulder admiring your two favourite boys

“He did my love, guess we know who his favourite person is”

That earned a big laugh from Chris as he shook his head pressing a kiss to your temple

“Well i’ll take it, just remember he’ll wake me up 6 times a night now chanting dada as opposed to Arlie chanting mama now”

Nodding you chuckled reaching a finger out to swipe a bit of hair back out of Wes’s face, a yawn escaping his lips, you knew it was almost time for his mid morning nap but you weren’t ready to let go of Chris and your little boy just yet. Wesley had said his first word and though Chris had gotten a bit emotional you knew after he put Wes down for a nap, he’d be coming to find you to really let it out, and you’d be there for him, as long as he needed.

Chris really was the definition of worlds best father.

[chimivx]

ghosting ↠ txt

now playing ↠ pulling teeth • green day

He left you with letters. Envelopes that took you five years to finally read, acknowledge. They take you back through your past, forcing you to make moves not only for yourself, but for your family, for your children… His children.

part five of six ~ masterlist

word count ↠ 6036 warnings ↠ (same for all parts) 18+. mentions of drugs, alcohol, smoking. swearing. explicit sexual content. these people have kids, there’s family talk, pregnancy talk. absent dad, messy family ties. stepsib shit, stepcest. infidelity. if any of these things bother you, please keep scrolling . if i missed anything PLEASE let me know!! a/n ↠ if you are new to this story, don't start here! please go to the masterlist! major thank you to everyone who's read this story. cannot believe it's almost done... <3 xo posted ↠ 6/17/24 ~ 2:50 pm est.

~ february 2024 ~

Sitting on the plush carpet of your mothers living room, a beautiful bouncing baby boy sat between your outstretched legs. Munching on his fingers with a grin on his face, he watched his big brothers as they spun around to the rock music playing from Taehyun’s brand new record player on the glass table in the center of the room.

Across from you, laying on his stomach on the floor with his chin in his hands was Minho, smiling at his cousins trying to dance to the unsteady beat of Nirvana. The kid was almost a month away from turning ten, and though you just saw him a little over a month ago at Christmas right here in this very house, he had seemed to mature so much. He and his father, who sat beside the coffee table to your left, had both got haircuts, and the color of Taehyun’s was back to normal. 

Since Christmas the two of you have been talking more, texting more, letting the kids video call with one another, and things were going really well. The patching up of that relationship, the closure you both gave one another that was ten years overdue was needed, and it had helped immensely. Now you could carry on with a friendship, and be friends, something the two of you struggled with outside of one another.

Amongst the phone calls and messages there was a day spent together without kids, without Soobin, just you and Taehyun. You went for lunch, somewhere quiet in Sicuro knowing damn well you’d be too uncomfortable to go any further or into any other town. Soobin didn’t want you too far either, and you couldn’t blame him. You’d prefer it if he was always within a few miles radius of you anyways.

Over lunch, where the two of you spent hours, you shared conversation like you had over Christmas, dipping into details of life that either of you had shut out, or had been too intoxicated to piece together correctly. Your teenage life was mapped out before you, the two of you with blushing cheeks trying to work out your shared trauma.

The further you delved into the timeline the more you could tell Taehyun was trying his absolute best to stay present. His sober eyes, awake and alert, his chest taking in deep breaths to the slow count of four… Something you knew all too well. With a reassuring nudge of your foot against his underneath the table, he’d smiled, knowing that you were with him, that you were there for him. He wasn’t alone, and you vouched from then on that he never would be.

You’ve healed enough to not hold his past against him, knowing that you yourself were not a perfect person.

He apologized for the summer night at the club years back, appearing teary eyed as he fought the words out of him, every other sentence broken, his eyes finding it near impossible to look into yours. But, he did. He reached for your hand, held it gently, and apologized. And you cried, because he remembered it all. Every detail. Every feeling. He had never told another soul, he had kept it all inside, not even talking about it with the friend you once shared.

The one who turned into the next topic of conversation on hour three of you sitting in the booth in the back of the restaurant.

Things had gone quiet, after the apology was shared and Taehyun had spoken his peace, neither of you knew what to say. 

At Christmas, the letters were given to you, by Taehyun himself. Envelopes you didn’t have the guts to open, but your husband did.

You had told Taehyun very little of what you felt, what you experienced. So you laid everything out there, filling in the blanks for him, telling him how it all went down, how it happened, how you wound up with your beautiful boys who were the light of your life, but beginning to worry you with their behavior. 

And though tears slipped down your cheek while you spoke of your history with him, with Beomgyu, you knew you were where you were meant to be, and you admitted that to Taehyun, the once questionable fate you had succumbed yourself to, and he too agreed, Soobin was where you were meant to be. Something he’s mentioned to you before.

Pieces of past Christmas were funny, some parts making you question whether or not your certainty was correct. It’d been brought up multiple times, from two different mouths, and then, in the end, the bomb had been dropped.

The twins belonged to Beomgyu, he was their father. In your timeline, in your math, he was their father. You never had to question it, you never had to double check, you were certain. However, those many years ago there had been two of them, both boys, and they overlapped before the nights turned into one. You had no reason to question until Christmas, when your twins seemed to take to Taehyun a lot quicker than you and Soobin had anticipated. Even though the boys looked like you, looked like Beomgyu… Taehyun and Beomgyu both had the eyes, the wide, beautiful, galaxy filled, warm brown eyes. And, so did your twins.

After your mother assumed she knew who really fathered the twins, when up until that day she had seemed to believe you when you told her it was Soobin, you knew you needed a definite answer, one on paper. If not for your own confirmation, but for her. To tell her you didn’t have Taehyun’s children while he was married to another woman with two kids of their own. To not give her the satisfaction of being right, like she always wanted to be.

The kids weren’t his, and though you never spoke to her about it after, the need to prove your mother wrong persisted.

It sucked admitting it to Taehyun. It was entirely humiliating to ask him to do what you needed him to do, but he obliged. Quietly, barely uttering any other sound, he understood, and he assured you that you had no reason to be ashamed. Even he was sure that the boys weren’t his, though his thoughts were somewhat swayed over the holiday weekend because of his step-mother.

That evening after spending an incredulous amount of time out with him, he accompanied you back home where he spent a few more hours with you, Soobin and the kids, Mina sitting on his lap while he filled out some paperwork and swabbed the inside of his cheek. His kids were with Sana, the two still sorting out custody and dealing with judges and court dates.

Within the single evening he spent with your family, Soobin’s opinion of Taehyun had changed entirely, and by the end of it all he even walked him out to his car, leaving him with information and details on how to handle his situation, details you couldn’t even begin to understand. Details you wondered if you’d ever have to deal with…

Sitting here on the floor of the house you grew up in, with your kids giggling up a storm, and a piece of paper folded up in your back pocket, those same thoughts still lived in your mind. Custody, judges, court. A month later and he was still living it. Sana was relentless, she’d never give up.

Especially since over lunch that day Taehyun had told you that she’d found out about you. All of you. The time you shared. All of it, and that she had known for a long time, before divorce was even an option. Aside from the love affair you shared for half of your life, he very blatantly had cheated on her and had been content getting away with it until he grew the balls to file. It went without saying that Sana was pretty content with him getting away with it as well, as long as Taehyun kept bringing home the paychecks.

Now that they were divorced, and she was only getting a still decently sized cut for child support, she had the ability to keep the kids away from him, possibly for a very long time since she knows he’s currently fighting to stay sober. Another reason tacked onto the never ending reasons to despise Sana list.

Leaning backward, toppling onto your thighs, Wonwoo smiled up at you and cooed, his tiny hands reaching upward. Folding in half, covering him completely, you smother his cheeks with kisses and giggle along with him, the sound echoing through the room over the music. One of the twins whipped around, Chan, and dropped to his knees between your legs, one of his joints landing straight on top of your own.

Your gasp of pain, which was really just a reaction to the collision, and the way you gripped your knee over your jeans made Chan freeze for only a moment. Placing a hand over yours he scooted closer to you.

“Sorry, Mama,” he said, studying your expression, searching for the right answer. It was an accident, truly. He knew this, you knew this. Over the last few months however, these accidents have been more frequent. Keeping track of them all, keeping in mind that he was only a five year old boy, the moments of outbursts, tantrums, and accidents like this- happening to more than just you- have been too many to count.

His brown eyes, wide, waiting for you to say something, they made you gulp. Pulling Wonwoo into your arms, situating him over your left side, you nodded at your son and took his hand into your own. “It’s okay, it was an accident, right?”

“Right,” Chan said, his gaze traveling to his brother on your hip chewing on his fingers. “Can Wonwoo play?” He bounced on his knees, brushing his hair out of his eyes. It was too long, he needed it cut, both twins did. The usually straight, thick dark locks were nearing their shoulders, edging the base of their neck. The longer their hair got, and the older they grew, the more it seemed to wave at the ends. Covering their ears, bangs teasing their lashes… You didn’t have the heart to cut it off.

You hadn’t seen him in years, and yet here he was, sitting in front of you.

“Wonwoo can’t play right now,” you said, tucking some of Chan's hair behind his ear, smiling as he shied under your touch. 

Scooching closer to you he sat on your other thigh, cradling his chin in his hands as he watched his little brother. “Why?” 

“Because he’s getting sleepy, it’s almost time for him to go to bed.” From your left you could feel Taehyun’s eyes on you.

Chan stared at the baby. His gaze unresponsive for all of two seconds. “But he can play at home?”

You gave him a smile, placing a hand gently on his back. “He can play at home, you do big kid things here, he isn’t a big kid yet. At home Daddy and Mama can watch you with him, but there’s so much going on here.” Your five year old thought to himself, still eyeing Wonwoo content on your side, not an ounce of eye contact made before he spoke again.

“But, why?”

“Hey, Chan,” Taehyun’s clear, deep voice called over to your son, his little head lifting to look over at his uncle sitting criss-cross on the carpet. “C’mere.” He waved a hand toward himself, Chan leaping off of your leg with a shout, running toward him.

Groaning, you started, “Tae, hold out your-”

But, your warning was cut short with another shout, a high pitched shriek startling Wonwoo. Chan jumped onto Taehyun, and, maybe it was dad reflexes, but he caught him. Pulling him into his chest, holding him tight, rocking him back and forth as they laughed, your step-brother shot you a look over the little one's shoulder.

“Hey, I want to play!” With folded arms Sunoo watched his brother and uncle. The smallest pout was forming on his lips. Taehyun smiled at him and waved another hand, shifting Chan over to one side, catching Sunoo with his other side as the child launched himself at him. Between laughing fits, you caught Taehyun’s eye once more, the two of you sharing a smile.

“Minnie?” Taehyun questioned, glancing at his son who watched him as well, entertained by the children attempting to tackle his father to the ground. “Wanna take your cousins upstairs?” 

Minho leapt to his feet and sighed, but not with discontent, with preparation for what he was signing himself up for. Taehyun nodded toward him, then with both hands grabbed the collars of the twins' shirts and peeled them off of him. The boys, finding it funnier than anything else in the world, tossed out their little hands trying to either hit Taehyun or grab onto him.

“Minho wants to show you guys something,” he said, dodging flying hands. 

“Boys, we don’t hit,” you spoke up, moving onto your knees, keeping Wonwoo on your hip. Neither twin spared you a moment. “Boys!”

“Go upstairs with him, he has something fun-” 

Chan made contact with Taehyun's cheek, his palm no bigger than half the surface he’d hit. It wasn’t hard, he didn’t hurt him, but he still hit him. Sunoo was the only one to react to the sound, until their father set foot in the room, their little sister propped on his hip.

“Choi Chan!” The sound of Soobin’s raised voice spun them both right around. Taehyun dropped his hands and pulled them into his lap, sending a look your way. Your eyes apologized to him, for the smack and for what was about to happen. These moments of parenting, of reprimanding, of learning, they were becoming a wildcard, so much so that even Soobin was having a hard time figuring out how to deal with them. 

A shit eating grin lived on Chan’s face as he gazed up at his father, one incredibly jarring the first time it made an appearance. Gripping the denim of his jeans, Chan bounced his knees and let out the quietest laugh. Sunoo beside him, the complete opposite.

It would be one thing if both twins were the same, if they both acted the same, and though sometimes they do, in moments like these their ways were completely different, making the parenting, the learning, so much harder.

“I don’t think anyone here found that funny,” Soobin said, his voice returning to a normal volume. Taehyun reached over to the record player, turning the volume down. The movement caught Chan’s attention. “Look at me, please.”

Sunoo was a rock, his brown eyes glued to his father. Chan however, watched Taehyun sit back in his place, and then he bounced on his toes and tried to walk back over to him. Reaching in front of you, you were able to grab onto his wrist and maneuver him back, keeping him where he needed to be. The five year old looked at you, whined, then turned back to Soobin. On his hip in a fuzzy blue footed onesie, Mina pointed at Taehyun and smiled, flashing her gappy little teeth. Her uncle pointed back to her and grinned, subsequently making Chan try to turn again.

“Chan, we don’t hit.” Soobin hadn’t moved an inch.

Your son wriggled his wrist out of your hold. “It was a accident,” he said, looking at you, then Soobin. “A accident.”

“I know you were playing,” Soobin said. “But, I saw you trying to hit Uncle Tae, and then you did.”

Chan clenched his hands into fists and stomped a foot on the ground. Covering one of Wonwoo’s ears you pressed his other against your chest, holding his head there. Even Sunoo knew what was coming after the stamp, he covered his own ears.

“ACCIDENT!” Chan screamed, covering his eyes with his hands, the tears following soon after.

Trying to take one of his hands again, he swatted you away and fell onto his knees. Sighing, Soobin put Mina on her feet and she toddled over to Taehyun, falling into his lap. Your girl wrapped both hands around one of his fingers.

“Soobin, he’s very tired,” you said to your husband quietly as he approached the fallen twin, brushing a hand gently over the hair of Sunoo still standing, hands clamped to his ears. “We’ve been here all day, no nap. That makes it worse.”

Looking at you he crouched down, laying a hand over Chan’s back. He knew what little sleep did to the boys, how it affected their behavior, they were kids. When kids were tired, exhausted even, they tended to misbehave, or throw tantrums such as this one. Chan was different. This type of tantrum happened no matter how tired he was.

Making choices as a parent was possibly the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do in life thus far. Each decision impacted your kids and had an effect on their future and the people they’d grow up to be. With Chan folded over on the floor sobbing into his hands, you weren’t sure whether to let him cry or try to get him to stand back up. Half of you wanted to pick him up and tell him it was okay, just to keep him from feeling upset, but then the other was telling you that there were consequences to his actions and he needed to learn from them.

You know, so he didn’t grow up to be someone who punched holes into walls.

Even then, with how differently his brain worked from other children, how exactly were you supposed to do that?

“Chan, when you’re ready to talk to us we’re right here.” Soobin leveled his eyes on his son, tracing a reassuring circle over his back. At a loss, feeling your own tears seconds away from spilling, you trained your gaze on your husband and took a deep breath. 

His calm, gentle giant-ness was how. He was how you’d make it through, he was how you’ve made it through the last six years. He’d be able to get you through many more.

Behind the twins Minho had snuck over to Taehyun, sitting beside his father and Mina, keeping the two year old occupied. Taehyun bounced her on his knee as she traced Minho’s features with a single finger, her cousin leaning into her with pouted lips. The little girl had such an attention to details even at her small age. You were certain she’d grow up to be as smart as her father.

“Everything okay in here? Where’d my granddaughter go?” Your mothers voice was heard before she was spotted. Soobin, closing his eyes, took a short breath, and you and Taehyun seemed to do the same. Your step-brother held in his laugh, catching a glimpse of Soobin’s dismay.

Turning into the living room with her husband close behind, Joy, dressed in a strapless black jumpsuit that bunched at her ankles, leaving room for her strappy black heels to be tied there, looked over the scene on her floor, then tossed her hands out at her side.

“We’re good, Mom,” you said, grilling her from where you sat. Her tendency to get involved with parenting your children happened more often than the tantrums from the boys. She never had the chance to do it with Taehyun’s kids, so you took the brunt of it all. Another reason to be jealous of Sana.

Jin placed a hand to Joys shoulder and smiled at you, the man knowing how his wife would act. “Let them do their thing.” Joy gasped and whipped around to tap him on the chest of his blue polo.

“Mom,” you sighed, finding that Sunoo was watching them, seeing his grandmother hit his grandfather right after the start of a no-hitting lecture. Joy whirled back around with wide eyes.

“What!” Her laugh made both Taehyun and Minho cringe.

“Just… please, don’t,” you said. Seeming to catch on after scanning the room, Joy pressed her glossy lips together and cocked her chin back. Her eyes landed on the twins, scoped over Soobin’s back, took Taehyun in for a few seconds before she glared at you. For a second her lips parted and your heart sunk through the million dollar floor. “Don’t,” you spat, quickly.

“I’m bringing out the cake,” she muttered, then spun on her toes and led Jin into the kitchen.

At the mention of dessert, Chan poked his head up, his crying having ceased a few moments ago. Sunoo removed his hands from his ears and tilted his head to check on his brother, crouching down like Soobin was. The boy would always try to mirror him.

Subsequently, they both spoke to Chan at once, saying, “Feel better?”

Soobin withheld a smile, but glanced at you before taking his hands around the boy's torso, tugging him onto his lap. Chan curled up, slinging an arm around Soobin’s waist.

“Are you ready to talk?” Soobin asked. Hesitating, it took Chan a few seconds to answer with a head nod. “Can you say the word, please?”

Chan took a breath. “Yes,” he said, voice wobbly.

“It’s okay to be upset,” Soobin kept his focus down, his full attention on his son, no matter how many other people sat in this room. “You’re feeling some really big emotions and I know they’re hard for you to understand right now. Is that right?”

“Yes,” Chan whispered. His eyes found his twin.

“Are you able to tell me what you’re feeling? Can you name your feeling?”

Sunoo said, “Sadness.”

“Sunoo, let Chan answer, okay?” You popped in momentarily, giving the boy a small smile. “That was a really good answer, but let’s hear what your brother wants to name it.”

Soobin didn’t look away from the boy in his arms, not until Chan mumbled, “Anger.”

“Thank you,” Soobin said, leaning down to kiss his forehead. “You’re feeling red, and like you want to yell?” Chan answered with a nod that Soobin allowed. “What happened to make you feel that way?”

Your son hesitated again, this time shrugging his shoulders, mumbling, “I dunno.” Waiting for anything else to come out, Soobin shut his eyes after Chan said, “Because of Daddy.”

“Because I told you not to hit?”

Another nod.

Soobin took a deep breath. “What do you think Daddy felt when he saw you hit Uncle Taehyun? When you know you aren’t supposed to be doing that?” Chan hid his face, muttering something only for Soobin to hear. “Sadness and Anger? Blue and red? How come?” Inaudible mumbles came from your boy. “Right, it’s not okay to hit somebody, and it makes Mama and Daddy upset when you do.” Unburying his face, Chan sat up and rubbed his eyes.

Sunoo put a hand on one of his brother's knees. “I felt Sadness.”

“When I hit?” Chan asked him, and Sunoo bobbed his head. “I am sorry.”

Soobin nudged the boys back. “Go tell who you need to tell.”

Rising to his feet, sniffly as ever, Chan took his time approaching Taehyun’s side, putting a hand gently to his shoulder. Eyes darting around like mad, your son pushed out a quick, “I am sorry I hit you,” and then took two steps backward.

Taehyun, new to the whole idea of how you parent your children, gave Chan a small smile and bowed his head. Chan put his hands over his chest and tilted his head.

“Uncle Taehyun, you say that it’s okay,” Sunoo said, standing to his feet.

Soobin took Sunoo by the hand and shook his head. “Sometimes it doesn’t work that way,” he started, and both twins eyed him curiously, this being the first they’ve heard of the concept. “Sometimes… When we hurt people it affects them, and even though sometimes we say sorry, it doesn’t take away from the fact that we’ve hurt them. Some people will accept your apology, and some people won’t.”

“What if somebody hurts you and they don’t say sorry?” Sunoo asked.

Taehyun met your glance, the power within it blazing hot.

Soobin thought to himself, carefully reading the room, analyzing every energy, old and new. “Then, you have to learn to forgive them yourself, and move on, to heal. Otherwise, you’re stuck with a wound,” he scrunched his nose, “an ouchie, that can hold you back from great things.”

Chan faced Taehyun, his uncle ripping his eyes away from you to look up at him. “Do you accept my… Apology?” The five year old sounded out the word, bobbing his head as he did.

Taehyun seemed to study him, your boy with fluffy hair and sappy eyes. He was about to smile, you could see it ghosting his lips, but he waited, his mouth slightly pulling downward as your boy waited with a patience unknown to his begetter. 

He could see him. 

“I… I do.” Taehyun’s voice was so low it was almost a whisper. “I accept your apology.” He finally smiled, shifting his eyes to you before looking down at Mina gazing up at him.

“She thinks you are pretty,” Sunoo said, getting a laugh out of you, your step-brother and his son. Mina had a habit of staring at things, whether they be right in front of her, on a screen, if she found them enticing.

Soobin let out a harsh, breathy laugh, then stood up with, “No thank you, Sunoo.”

Darting his eyes to Soobin, Taehyun wore a cautious smile, one that grew into fruition, spreading across his cheeks as your husband smiled back, in understanding, a sight you’d never thought you’d live to see.

“Come on,” Soobin held his arms open for Mina who wobbled to her feet and rushed into his fathers hold. The twins stood on alert, eyes full of respect for their father. Once Mina was situated on a hip, her hands grabbing onto Soobin’s t-shirt, he bounced her once and said, “Let’s go sing Happy Birthday to Uncle Tae.”

About an hour after the kids climbed onto Taehyun somehow, scream-sang their birthday song to him, blew out his birthday candles, you found yourself standing around the kitchen island with Soobin and Taehyun. Wonwoo sat on the edge of the counter in front of Soobin, your husband's hands holding his waist while the little one kicked his legs and learned to hold his balance on his own. The other four took off to the second floor, most likely messing with whatever they could find in yours and Taehyun’s old bedrooms.

Jin and Joy were up there with them now, your mother with Mina attached to her hip thankfully, you and Soobin both knowing your two year old would not be left unsupervised with any of the boys. As much as they were airheaded parents, they sure were wonderful grandparents, ever since Rose was born. Even before she was born. Even now that she’s missing her own fathers birthday celebration with his side of the family, cooped up with Sana somewhere down in Avida. They loved her. They loved them all.

Squishing leftover icing on a small ceramic plate on the counter you all stood around, you eyed Taehyun and his full-of-life grin while he spoke with Soobin about Minho and the stuff he’s currently dealing with in school, how fourth grade seemed to be much harder now than it was when the three of you were in elementary school. His eyes sparkled, his eyebrows moved with a calculated ferocity. He was present. He was here, in the room with you, fully.

“Can’t believe you’re thirty-three,” you said once their conversation died down. Taehyun blew a raspberry on his lips and Wonwoo’s head whipped toward him.

“You’re not far behind.” Raising a brow he shot you a look before poking your son's cheek, getting a smile from the little one. 

Smiling at him, you said, “No, I’m not, but at least I’m the last one to get there.” Soobin huffed a laugh, shaking his head. He hit thirty-three first, back in December.

Taehyun gripped the edge of the counter with two hands and cocked his chin backward, in thought, like he was struck with the same realization you were. By the first of April you’d be thirty-three, a while away from the beginning of February, Taehyun’s actual birthday happening last weekend. There was someone meant to fall between you two. The thirteenth of March, the date he’d reach thirty-three, joining Taehyun, leaving you behind.

Soobin’s voice broke through the comfortable silence. “Taehyun, when was the last time you spoke to him?” It was gentle, the question asked in the softest way possible, Soobin’s volume staying within the three feet of space you shared.

Air was knocked from your lungs at the sudden inquiry, not that Soobin never spoke of it before. The two of you planned to ask him, but you weren’t prepared for it to come from your husband's mouth. With one of Wonwoo’s hands wrapped around his finger, Soobin looked at Taehyun with a confidence, one that he’s worn in his eyes since the day he asked you to marry him. One you used to wonder if it was fueled by anything other than pure love.

Taehyun took a long, deep breath, his eyes dancing all over the kitchen. They landed on you for only a second, your own begging him to tell you, to speak to you, to speak to Soobin. It was common for him to shove everything into a box at this point, swallow the pain away, act as if it didn’t have any effect over him. 

But, that was the old Taehyun.

He gulped, sinking into himself for a moment, somehow talking himself out of the hole he was ready to burrow under.

“On my birthday.”

You didn’t mean for your sigh to be as heavy as it was, but it made him close his eyes. “That’s last week.”

He nodded, opening his eyes a bit to stare at the marble under his fingers. “Yeah, he… He called me. But, before then I hadn’t really spoken to him since before Christmas.” He hesitated before adding, “Was nice to hear his voice.”

Clenching your fingers into fists, you brought your bottom lip between your teeth and bit down hard. Across the counter from you Soobin gave you a look so intense it had the power to calm you down without saying a word. With a tiny nod toward your step-brother, Soobin encouraged you to ask him what you needed to ask, tell him what you needed to know. 

“Tae,” you started, voice the smallest it’s ever been. He couldn’t look at you, but he tried. “We… we tried calling him. After you came over that night. Well, it took two days for me to grow the balls to do it.” Soobin nodded along as you spoke, eyebrows pulled to the center of his forehead, feeling everything you were feeling. “We don’t know if he has a new number, or if he was just… busy, because…”

Soobin tilted his head, stretching his free hand across the marble, barely reaching you. Intaking a shaky breath, finding Taehyun's full attention over you, you whispered, “Because I haven’t spoken to him in five years.”

“I know,” Taehyun’s voice was as loud as yours, a whisper, a secret to keep.

“We had a night, after processing a lot,” you nodded with Soobin, the two of you remembering the two days after your outing with your step-brother and how hard it was reliving everything. “And, we decided-”

“You decided,” Soobin cut in for only a moment, always telling you that it would be your choice whether or not to move forward with anything. He’d never let you forget that.

“I decided,” you looked back at Taehyun, “That I… Maybe felt ready to just… contact him and see what happened. Catch up for a second. Check in.”

Whatever emotion struck him across the face was unreadable. “He’s not… No, he can’t. You can’t.” Silence fell. Nobody moved, not even Wonwoo.

Years ago you’d have shouted at him to tell you more, to keep going, to not bottle everything up and keep it to himself. It was the most exhausting way to live, to have nothing but half assed explanations and lazy reasons as to why things were the way that they were. It was his coping mechanism, you’ve learned. He despised confrontation, he’d do anything to avoid being completely honest, because everything hurt him as much as it hurt you.

Now, two grown adults who were no longer sloppy children, you didn’t want to shout. You didn’t want to fight. You also didn’t want to push him away, knowing that if you ever did you’d be putting him back in that horrible place he fought so hard to get out of. So, you waited, for as long as he needed.

And, after a few minutes, Taehyun said, “He doesn’t use his phone, but he has the same number. It’s with Jungkook, all of his stuff is. Up in Soro, he still lives there with Chaeyoung and Tzuyu.”

“Jungkook does,” you clarified, and he nodded. 

“You don’t know anything that’s happened, do you?” His question struck your heart. A sharp, twisting pain you haven’t felt since your twins were born.

Reaching a hand into your back pocket you slid the piece of paper out and unfolded it with shaking hands. Laying it flat on the marble you pointed to a 0% beside the words probable paternity. Taehyun swallowed hard, touching the edge of the paper, sliding it closer to him.

“I know one thing that’s happened,” you said. “And so do you.” He gave you a look, your stomach twisting in knots at the teal-green emotion within his eyes your kids would be able to name. “Thought this would be a nice birthday present.” He attempted to wipe the look off his face, but he was unsuccessful. “Now we know for sure, and if Joy has some shit to say we have proof.”

Soobin didn’t bother to clock your bad word. Not right now.

“Taehyun,” you whispered, eyes darting back and forth between his beautiful brown gaze. “Where is he?”

10/7/2023

…I don’t know why it’s so scary when the scariest part of my life so far has been becoming your dad. Knowing that I was struggling, knowing that I was so unhappy, it was what I had to do. She needed to go back, I know that. There wasn’t anything left for her here, nothing I could give her so she could live her best life. That’s why I admire him so much. Soobin. That’s a good man. That’s the man you need to grow up to be. To step up when a loser rolls over and runs away. To love someone unconditionally. To protect the person you love. It’s something I could never do, I just brought harm. I brought pain, and even when I had the chance to do something about it… I ran away. I don’t want to blame my brain for it, I really don’t, always hated doing that ‘cause it’s not an excuse, but… It’s my life. I know what I’m like, even though I'm not always there. My brother always told me I was really good at being self-aware and suffering because of it. So here I am. Suffering because of it. I’m not saying any of this for pity, because trust me it feels wrong to be writing any of this down. Self-aware. I’m saying this so you know the truth. So you know who I am, who your dad was. In case anything happens, in case I don’t ever get to meet you. I love you both, and I love your mom. I love her so much. Listen to her, listen to Soobin. Take after him, take after the good men in your life. Grow up strong, and smart, and kind hearted. Love your friends, love your family, love yourselves. Do good things, be good. I want nothing more than for you to have the most wonderful life…

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thank you so much for reading. <3

[justmeinadaze]

We're A Family Part 6 (Steddie X You)

A/N: Good morning. I have not slept yet. Why I do not know lol But alas...I bare you this with many an answered question and some disgustingly adorable fluff.

Enjoy! <3

Warnings: Smut, Fluff, and slight angst, Some complex emotions here with the reader feeling overwhelmed. Minimal Charlie drama. Um, I think that's it.

Word Count: 3553

Kierra rubs you back as you lean over the crib you two had been looking at. 

“Sweetie, it’s ok.”

“I know. I just…walking into the office and saying ‘paternity’… watching their faces as they poked them… It feels wrong.”

“It’s not wrong, Y/N. What is wrong is charging $800 for a crib.” You laugh as she flashes you the price tag and pushes you forward to the next one. Your eyes flick to Steve who’s across the store with Dylan looking at baby clothes. 

Someone suddenly bumps into your side and you immediately apologize, closing your mouth when you see who it is. 

“I’m…I’m sorry. I really didn’t…”, Vivian stumbled over her words.

“No, um, it’s fine.”

She smiles looking at the items in her hands before quickly hiding them. “I’m not…I swear…my sister is pregnant so we’re getting stuff for the baby shower.”

“We?”

“Well look at you, Y/N.” You roll your eyes as Charlie comes into view. “I heard a rumor you were pregnant but I didn’t believe it.”

“Yup. Because what man would want to make love and start a family with me?!”

His eyes narrowed at your sarcastic tone. “Your lawyer talk to you yet?”

“Charlie! To what do we owe the pleasure?” Eddie came up beside you and your sister as he politely nods a hello to Vivian. 

“As you can see, I’m talking to Y/N here.”

“And as you can see this isn’t a courthouse and your lawyers aren’t here so feel free to be on your way.”

“Ok. Alright now.” Steve came from behind your ex and stepped between them making you panic as you looked around for Dylan. His little eyes met yours from his place behind Vivian and your heart broke. “Let’s not do this in the middle of a baby supply store in front of Dylan.”

Charlie searched for him, beaming down at the boy. “Hey Dil. How are you doing, kid?”

Vivian called after him as he ran in the opposite direction and you disconnected from the group to follow him. You found your son sitting on a piece of display furniture with his head hung down to his chest. Pulling over a rocking chair, you sit beside him as you lightly rock back and forth. 

“When you were a baby, we had a chair kind of like this one, and every time you cried, one of us would hold you as we rocked. It worked every time. No one believed me either! ‘Every time? No way!’”

You smiled at him as you noticed him doing the same.

“I would do that now but I don’t think with my belly the three of us could fit up here.”

Dylan glanced at you as he took in the chair you were sitting in before scooting over and patting the seat beside him. As soon as you sat down, he curled up into your side as you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pressing his head to your chest. Pushing off on your toes, you rocked the seat you both were in as the boy started to cry.

“I know, baby. I know.”

Kierra sits in the chair beside you, looking at you both with empathetic eyes. “They left…without incident and, um, the boys bought one of the cribs I told them you said you like so…they are taking it to the car and then bringing it around since it started to rain.”

“Thank you. Come on, weirdo. Let’s go home.”

#############

“I wish you had told me about this relationship, Y/N.”, Lidia sighed as she chugged the glass of whiskey Steve had brought to her. “I mean, this entire thing is bullshit anyway.” She holds up the court documents for emphasis before sliding them across the table. “This environment is way better for him than his fathers.”

“What does she do?”, Eddie asked.

“Right now, nothing. Just focus on your pregnancy and we’ll go from there. I imagine after she gets here, they’ll focus more on time and money when it comes to Dylan and the three of you.”

Their eyes followed you as you slowly rose from the table and without saying a word headed up the stairs. After your lawyer left, they found you in the baby’s room, sitting against the wall as you began assembling her crib. 

“Honey…” Steve descended to the floor as Eddie followed. You continued the task in front of you as tears gradually began to fall. One of the pieces you were holding wouldn’t connect with its corresponding part making you frustrated as you slammed them to the ground in anger. The man pushed them to the side as he tried collecting you in his arms. 

“No! No. Just… no.”

“Ok. That’s okay, baby.” Your phone in the bedroom began to ring and Eddie quickly got to his feet to see who it was. “We’re right here. Everything’s going to be okay.”

“Um…it’s the doctor’s office.” Eddie’s eyes met Steve’s, unsure of what he should do. 

“Y/N, we’re going to turn on the speaker and you just talk.”

You nodded as the metalhead got back down, holding the phone between you three. 

“Hey, Y/n!”, the doctor greeted in a happy tone. “How are you and Aurora feeling?”

“We’re alright. Just exhausted.”

“I can imagine. Well, I won’t keep you long. I just wanted to tell you that the paternity test did come back at about 97% probability. When it comes to pre-birth tests, depending on the number, sometimes I suggest another after the baby is born but I don’t see any reason here. It seems Edward Munson is little Aurora’s biological father.”

Eddie exhaled heavily as he dropped the phone to the floor. 

“Hey doc, this is Steve. Thanks for giving us a call. We’ll call you back tomorrow if we have any more questions.” Before the man could say anything, Steve hung up the phone. “What’s going on, guys. What are we feeling?”

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

His large palms reached over to cup your face. “Y/N, listen to me. This changes absolutely nothing. She is OURS. Mine and Eddie’s. I love her with every fiber of my being and I love you to.”

The metalhead wiped his eyes before extending his arms, pulling you into a hug. “Thank you.”

You lean back, looking at him with total confusion. “I just… I spent most of my life being called trash. The only other girl we were serious with said she never wanted to have any of my kids. I was so sure she was Steve’s. It never even really sunk in that biologically she could be mine. I…I never thought this would ever happen for me…to have a little me running around.”

He pulled your lips to his and you allowed it as you kissed him back.

“I’m sorry for…me.”, you laughed as you explained. “The other day with Charlie in the baby store, just seeing my son so heartbroken… and then this custody bullshit. I don’t want to put him through that. I’m tired of him and you guys always…fighting. Dylan fighting to have the dad he wants from Charlie and you two always fight for me when it comes to him, Steve’s dad, my mom. Add in this…”, you gesture to your phone. “It killed me watching you take that test. I feel like the four of us haven’t had any time to breathe since I got pregnant. I feel like we aren’t as happy as we used to be.”

##########

“Um, where are we going?”, you scanned outside your window when you realized Steve wasn’t headed back home. 

“You’ll see.”

You knew that grin. He and Eddie were definitely up to something. “Weirdo, do you know what they are up to?”

“Uh, no. Not this time.”

“Excuse me, sweetheart. The child isn’t always the brain trust of our mischievous deeds.” You giggle as you lean back in your seat and accept your fate. 

As Steve pulls into a parking lot, Eddie points to the building. “Kid, what does that say?”

“Hawkins Ak-war-e-um?”

The metalhead grinned as he ruffled his hair, your head whipped around to look at them. “Hawkins Aquarium?”

The other man smiled as he got out of the car, running around to help you out on your side. “We thought you were right. The four of us haven’t gone out to have some fun in a while.”

Dylan’s eyes grew as you guys stepped inside, taking in all the gigantic tanks around him. He gripped your hand and pulled you further inside as the guys lingered back to pay. 

“Wow. I never would have guessed Hawkins had anything like this.”

“Honestly, we didn’t either. A quick google search informed me otherwise.”, Steve smiled. Eddie lightly pushed your son and both boys ran down a long hallway. “Jesus, I’m telling you, honey. We’re going to have three kids in the house.”

You playfully slap his chest as you two follow after them. “Steve? How, um, how are you really feeling about…everything with Aurora?”

His fingers intertwine with yours as he sighs. “Y/N, I meant what I said the other day. She’s both of ours and I still love her. Now that we know, at least next time, we can use my… you know.”

You giggle up at him as he blushes. “Mr. I talk dirty in bed can’t say the word sperm?”

“Yeah, yeah. Calm down.” Steve’s smile grows as he leans down to kiss your lips. “Plus, did you see how happy Eddie was? Fucking Emily and his parents made him think anything from the Munson gene would be garbage.” His nostrils flare as he shakes his head. 

You watch as the metalhead lifts Dylan into his arms as they point at the glass. “Mom, look.”

A whine escapes your lips as you notice a shark swim by. “Ew. What was that?”, Eddie laughed. 

“I don’t like sharks. My dad showed us Jaws at the wrong age.”

“Jaws. With the fake ass, mechanical shark?”

 “I know. It doesn’t even look real.”, Dylan giggles.

You turn to glare at Steve with a joke-filled annoyed face. “So, yeah, I told Robin he might be too young but she insisted it wasn’t scary. He did fine though!”

“Oh my god. You two are the worst.”

“Me?! Why am I being lumped in with him?”, Eddie whines. 

“Because! I’m sure you did something. I know it.”

###############

After you guys got home the boys announced they had one more surprise, demanding you and Dylan close your eyes as they guided you both up the stairs. 

“Ok, you two, open ‘em.”

Your jaw dropped as your son gasped in excitement. Eddie and Steve had led you into the baby’s now finished room. They had completed painting the walls a light shade of pink before lining it with different mementos of the family. By her completely assembled crib, hung the Corroded Coffin banner you remembered had previously hung in Eddie’s room at the trailer. Along the other walls were posters for movies Steve had actually seen including The Princess Bride and Sleeping Beauty. 

Next to a bookshelf in the corner, they had painted a simplified version of the Hogwarts logo from Harry Potter along with every family member name and the house they belonged to according to Dylan. Inside the shelf itself, there were books and photos of the entire family including Kierra, Wayne, and Robin. In another corner, boxes were leaning against the wall.

“Yeah, we haven’t gotten to set those up yet. That’s, uh, changing table and a rocking chair, I believe. Kid said we had to get a chair like that.” Dylan beamed up at Eddie as he spoke. 

“I think now all we need is a basinet, highchair, and whatever those bouncy chair things are you can sit them in.”

“Bouncy chair thing…” Steve rolls his eyes as he reaches over to punch the boy’s arm. “Oh! And a car seat. Your sister said she knew someone who had a spare so she would bring it by later.” 

“Do…do you like it, babe?” When you turned to answer him, the tears were already free flowing down your cheeks. “Oh, honey.”, he chuckles as he reaches for you and you collapse in his arms. 

“What about you, dude? Do you like it? You can cry to if you want. I won’t tell anyone.” Eddie chuckles when Dylan makes a face at him. 

“I think it’s really cool. Ro is going to love it.

#############

“Hey!” Steve playfully exclaims as he comes into the bedroom to find you and Eddie passionately kissing. “No ‘let’s wait for Steve’ or nothin’!”

You grin up at him as the metalhead’s lips trail away from yours down to you neck. Grabbing his shirt, you yank him to the bed, bringing his mouth to yours. “Thank you for today. It was so nice seeing Dylan smile like that again.”

“It was nice seeing you smile like that again to.”, Eddie adds as he sits up on one of his elbows. 

“Um, excuse me. Who told you to stop kissing me?” They both laugh as he kisses your cheek. 

“I’m going to be honest here. I really want to fuck you but I also really have no idea how with the…”, he gestures to your belly. 

“Well, you see, Eds. You take that big, long thing below your waist and stick it—”

“Ay! Yeah, yeah, sweetheart. Thanks for the sass.”

“You just have to promise to be honest, honey, okay? If we’re hurting you or you feel like you need a break…”

“I promise.” Steve smiles as he starts removing his clothes. “Can I have you both?”

They glance at each other worriedly. “Is it…can we?”, Eddie asks. 

“I can lay on my side…”

The metalhead grins as he climbs off the bed and takes off his sweatpants before gradually removing your sleepwear, lips gently caressing your baby bump as you run your fingers through his hair. A small squeak of surprise leaves his body as he feels his legs being pulled towards the end of the mattress. 

Steve smirks as he descends to his knees and takes Eddie’s cock into his mouth, flattening his tongue as he takes the boy all the way down to the back of his throat. 

“Yes, Steve. Jesus.” 

Sucking on the pads of your fingers, you bring them to your clit as you moan watching them. Eddie cranes his neck to watch you, licking his lips at the sight. “Come here, baby.” He pats beside him but you hesitate as he reaches to adjust you over his face. 

“Eddie…I… I’m too heavy.”

“Y/N, I love you but shut up. You are NOT too heavy.”, he giggles as he guides you on top of him. “Plus, if this is the way I’m meant to go than I will be the coolest guy in heaven.”

Before you can even respond, his tongue licks a long stripe through your folds. You balance your hands on his chest as he groans into your body. 

“Fuck, princess. You taste different. Sweeter. Oh my god.” His tongue invades your entrance, driving you crazy as your eyes roll back. You whimper his name, feeling yourself clench around him. Eddie’s hips thrust up causing Steve to gag and cling to the man’s thighs. 

He flicks his eyes up to you and you flash him a tiny smile as you grind your hips on the metalhead’s face. His thumb reaches up to rub fast circles on to your clit and you immediately cover your mouth, suppressing the need to scream his name. 

Gnawing on your bottom lip, your body shutters as you cum. Mewling as Eddie runs his tongue back and forth, licking you clean. You carefully slide off him as Steve climbs up his body to kiss the man’s lips. 

They place themselves on either side of you, tenderly kissing any part of your skin they can reach. Eddie grips your hips as he guides himself into your ass, Steve carefully watching your face before lifting your leg and holding your thigh in his hand before sliding into your entrance.

You whimper at the feeling of them as they slowly begin to thrust into you, your head resting on the pillow as it suffocates your moans. 

“You…you okay, Y/N?”, Steve pants. 

“Yeah, I’m—mmm—I’m alright. Feels…so good.” Eddie sweaty forehead falls against your shoulder as his hips roll, pushing himself deeper into you. “F-fuck, Eddie, baby. Like that.”

Your hands reach forward as you cling to the other man’s neck, leaving a trail of kisses along his jawline. “Steve, you… you can go a little faster. Please… please…I’m almost…”

When he does as you request, you feel as if your entire body is going to explode. A sweaty palm flew over your mouth as your head tilted backwards, moaning loudly as you came. Eddie came with you, grunting into your shoulder as he thrust ropes of his seed into you, wrapping his arms around your front to hold you to his chest.

Steve followed shortly after, his forehead falling to your own as his rhythm slowed, breathing silent moans onto your face as he came inside you. After pulling his cock out, he gently lowered your leg and rolled onto his back. When he turned his head to look at you, your eyes were closed but he knew you were still awake because your hand was tenderly stroking Eddie’s arm that was still clinging to you above your belly. 

As for the man himself, all he saw was tussled hair that had fallen over your shoulder. 

“You still alive, Munson?”

“Mhmm… just in heaven.” His answer made you laugh. 

“Do I have to take a bath?”, you whined. Steve took that as his cue as he got up and headed for the bathroom, grabbing a rag to clean you with. “Thank you…for today.”

“You already thanked us, honey.”

“Well, I’m thanking you again!”

#############

4 Months Later

“Thank you for calling Family Video. This is Steve. How can I—”

“Steven!”

“Kierra? What’s wrong?!”

“Y/N’s water broke. We’re headed to the hospital. Get the other dork and get over here!”

“Kierra…be nice…”, your heavy breathing echoing in the background. “I love you!”

Steve hangs up the phone and practically jumps over the counter. “Whoa, Harrington! Where’s the fire?”

“Y/N’s in labor. I gotta…” She chuckles as he points to the door.

“Go! Send me a picture!”

The man gets in his car and speeds down the thankfully empty Hawkins streets to the mechanic shop to pick up Eddie who dives into the car the moment it pulls up. 

They race to the hospital, your sister giggling as they skid down the hallway. “She’s in that room over there. Go be with your wife and I’m going to go get Dylan. He’s got a sister to meet.”

##########

With half lidded eyes, you smile as Eddie holds Aurora in his arms, his finger holding her tiny hand. A big toothy grin spreads across his face when he looks up and sees you and Steve watching him with adoration. 

“Shut up.”, he chuckles. 

“Mom?” Dylan runs to your bed as Steve lifts him up so he can hug you. “Are you ok?”

“Yeah, weirdo. I’m just tired.”

“Ohhhhh…look at my niece.” Kierra starts to tear up as she sits beside the metalhead and runs her finger gently along the baby’s cheeks. 

“Do you want to hold her?”, he asks.

“I do but I promised Dylan he could first.” She kisses Eddie’s cheek before he carefully stands and comes to your side. You position him so he’ll be more comfortable and the man slowly lowers her into his little arms. He smiles as Steve takes a picture. 

“She’s so small.”

“Pfft, she didn’t feel that way.”, you giggle as you lean back against the pillow.

“When does she get hair like Steve’s?”

“Oh, dude, I’m afraid she’s going to have hair like mine unless we pray really hard she gets your mom’s gorgeous locks.” Eddie lightly messes his curls making your son laugh. 

Dylan and Kierra stayed for a while before heading back home, your sister offering to watch him so the boys could stay with you. Wayne and Robin were going to come by sometime tomorrow and for that you were thankful, desperately ready to get some sleep. 

Eddie had already beat you to it, curling up in the chair by the window. Steve, however, was fully alert as he kept an eye on you waiting for you to finish feeding her so he could put her in their makeshift crib. 

“Steve? I wanted to wait till everyone was gone before I said anything…”

“What’s wrong, baby?”

“Nothing. I just…you haven’t held her yet.”

“Yeah, I know. I just thought…you know…Eddie should and then Dylan—”

“Steve”, you interrupted. “I know your scared. It’s okay. I promise…you’re not alone, remember? She loves you.”

He held out his hands as you lean forward and place the baby in his arms. “Hey, Ro. I, uh, I don’t know if you remember my voice but…”

Her mouth opens as a small coo emits from her lips. Steve shoulders start to relax as she turns her head towards his chest. 

“I’m one of your daddies.” 

############

@adequate-superstar @kalinaselennespeaks @luna-munson83

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[brainfilehasstoppedworking]

Hi :3

《~~~~》

He holds his son.

He holds his son like when his son was just a newborn. That small, frail body so full of life. He remembered crying along with his son because of the joy he felt. He felt so woozy that day too. But he slept it off.

He held his son's head, cradling the boy as he tried to fall asleep. He held his son's face near his, nuzzling his nose against the smaller one. He was so tiny. So frail. He was honestly scared of holding him, much to how his wife complained that he worried too much, he still did. He'd hold him like if he was glass. He felt like it.

So fragile, his boy.

He cradled his son's head in his hands as his body tried to sleep. He was at least 4 now. His mother died. Takaaki was all Kiyotaka had. Despite Toranosuke trying very much so to be a part of Kiyotaka's life, Takaaki wouldn't let him. Only if he needed to.

His boy cried silently that night and Takaaki listened in his own heartache. He held his boy, whispering that it'd be okay. That his mother will always be with them. Takaaki didn't believe himself. But Kiyotaka believed. His perfect boy. So sweet. Innocent. He wanted to protect him. To hold him in his arms forever.

He held his crying boy again when he was 6. Takaaki and Kiyotaka lost Toranosuke and were left in debt because of the scandal. Takaaki resented his father. But not now. Kiyotaka needed him. Needed to be in his arms as Takaaki tried to comfort him. Takaaki was all he had…

He remembered when Kiyotaka asked if Takaaki would leave him like his mother and grandfather.

Takaaki promised to never leave. And he asked for a promise right back that he wouldn't lose Kiyotaka. Kiyotaka loudly declared he'll never leave him. And Takaaki was glad. That night was peaceful. The two asleep in Takaaki's bed as Kiyotaka curled up next to him as Takaaki held him. A nice night with rumbling thunder.

He rarely held Kiyotaka. He never had time.

He held Kiyotaka when he'd been bullied in school. Takaaki wasn't told why, but he still comforted him. Middle school was going to be rough, huh? If only Takaaki had more time with him. He'd only silently beg for the hope that was spending more time with Kiyotaka.

Hope…

Huh.

Of the recent days before Hope's Peak time, Kiyotaka cried in the bathroom. All alone. Weeping. Why? Why was his boy crying? Who'd make him cry so much he needed to hide? Takaaki noticed how much Kiyotaka hid from him. All the pain. The worries. The suffering. All hidden away.

Takaaki couldn't reach him.

Couldn't hold him in his arms.

His boy…

If only they had more time.

Takaaki came into his room one night to check on him. Seeing how puffy his boy's eyes were. Seeing how wet his lids and cheeks had been. Feeling the freshly shed tears…

He held him gently. Keeping in his own tears as he feared for the worst if anything bad were to happen. He wanted to keep Kiyotaka in his arms forever if he could. To keep him there until they couldn't.

Then…

Kiyotaka just…

Takaaki never felt this much grief. His mother died. He lost his wife. He had debt. His life was dogshit. He'd been kicked and beat by life over and over.

Kiyotaka was all he had.

Was all he needed.

He was brought the body. Why bother? He saw him die. He watched as the life his boy had was stripped away from him. Why bother bringing him the body? Takaaki didn't need it. He didn't want to see it. Yet he still held him. Just like all the other times. Just peace. He can pretend his son is asleep.

That's it.

He's just asleep.

In his wonderful sleep. Dreaming. What was he dreaming today? He hoped it was a good one. A good dream. A dream that lasted an eternity.

He holds his boy, whispering that it'd be okay. He just needed to sleep. His father was here now. He was here. Where it's safe.

In his arms.

Where Takaaki can hold him forever.

For as long as he wanted.

[bedlamsbard]

“The soldier,” Thanos said. He flinched a little as one of Natasha’s widow’s stings hit him in the side of the head, but brushed it off as if it was nothing more than a mosquito bite. “The man out of…time.”

Thanos let the last word linger there between them. The Stones set across his knuckles glittered in the fading sunlight as he turned his left hand over, thoughtful.

He was a kid playing with a new toy, the kind of boy who burned the wings off flies with a magnifying glass and a sunbeam. Steve knew the exact instant Thanos realized he could use more than one of the Stones at the same time.

March 1945: With the deaths of Johann Schmidt and Steve Rogers only a month old, the SSR has spent the intervening weeks hunting down the last of Hydra’s holdouts. When Peggy Carter and the Howling Commandos are unexpectedly called back to London, however, the return of Steve Rogers from beyond the grave raises more questions than it answers – and draws the attention of a dangerous new enemy.  (Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanoff)

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13: Good Old Days 161K, AU, WIP

Chapter preview:

The glow was fading from Carol Danvers as a hatch clunked open on the spaceship, which huddled on the lawn like a broken-winged bird.  The gangway creaked as it descended, a visible dent in it, and it stopped about two feet off the ground, tilting to the left.  The woman who appeared at its top had to stomp her foot against it several times to get it to descend the rest of the way.  If Bucky hadn’t been having what was easily the worst three weeks of his life – which was saying something – he might have been more surprised at her appearance; she was bald-headed, blue-skinned, and with metallic implants on her skull and a prosthetic left arm that made him feel a little less self-conscious about his own.  Her gaze swept around them, searching, then focused on Rocket, who had started running when the hatch had opened.  He stopped at its base, looking up at her.  She shook her head a little and his whole body slumped, his ears and tail going slack with disappointment and dashed hopes. The blue-skinned woman ducked briefly out of sight and reemerged an instant later, supporting a gaunt man who leaned heavily on her shoulder as she helped him down the metal steps.  Pepper Potts cried out, breaking into a run, but it was Rhodes who got there first, taking Tony Stark’s weight from the strange woman and saying something to him.  Stark’s shoulders went slack with relief as he saw Rhodes and Potts, relaxing for a moment into their arms before he straightened up enough to look around.  His gaze tracked Banner and Barton, then Sam, which got a slight frown, and Yelena, whom he looked at without recognition. Then he saw Bucky. He went tense, almost surging forward despite Rhodes’s restraining hand against his shoulder.  He looked past Bucky, searching, then around again, looking for someone who wasn’t there. “Who’s dead?” he said. “Tony –” Rhodes began. “Let’s get inside –” “Who’s dead?” Stark insisted. “Steve’s dead,” Bucky said flatly.  “So is Romanoff.”

[lyxanislive]

Do you have any Shallura family headcanons? Also what are your thoughts on Shiro's family? Or lack thereof. Besides Keith ofc

Why Did this take a year to answer?

I didn't have any head canons. So I had to come up with some. Then those sucked and I changed them. 

So here we go!!!!!

Allura and Shiro don't think they can get pregnant. The whole 10000 year sleep and clone thing not withstanding, some species just don't breed well like Galra and well … anything

They play fast and loose and neither suspect anything until one day Allura gets a weird version of slipperies. Shiro freaks out and goes to Coran who is the first to guess she's pregnant as this is a symptom is pregnant Alteans

After a bunch of tests they find out she is indeed pregnant. Shiro is delighted, Allura is terrified

Because there are no studies for Altean/Human hybrids, Doctors tell Allura she is a high risk pregnancy and want her to take extra precautions 

This makes both Shiro and Coran *and by extension everyone else) treat her like glass that is on a wobbling table and she HATES it

The only person to not treat Allura like a fragile delicate flower is Keith. He becomes her confidante and when she wants everyone to get off her back she goes to hang out with Keith for “massages” or “pedicures” anything to make Shiro think they're not sparing or racing around the desert

Allura has every morning sickness symptom known to humans and Alteans. She hates it.

Hunk meal preps with Shiro every Sunday afternoon and continues to do so for like 6 months after.

Pidge hooks up like 900 baby monitors, even ones that can alert Coran

Lance helps with the nursery and tips for new baby

Matt breaks his finger helping Shiro set up a crib one afternoon

Keith is named the Altean version of God Father for the baby. He cries about it - he continues to keep Alluras secret about rough housing but he eventually stops being her go to trouble maker around month 6 as she is visibly pregnant and doesn't fit on his hover bike well

Romelle learns to knit just for the baby. She is awful at it but puts her whole heart into it. She makes a blanket, booties, hats and ear warmers for the baby

There's not even a discussion when they find out the baby is a boy. Alfor Harmonious Shirogane is just agreed on instantly

Alteans have a gestation period of 6 months. Alfor takes 8 months and Allura is VERY CRANKY and VERY PREGNANT 

Labour is also awful for Allura - 38 hours under several doctors care but when he is finally born Allura is instantly normal as if she didn't just give birth

Alfor has very faint purple altean marks, they sometimes look like bruises. His ears are not fully rounded but nowhere near a full altean length. They do not fit into the pointed ear hats Romelle made. She makes new ones

Everyone cries when they meet Alfor for the first time. Especially Alfor.

Allura goes back to coalition work immediately and Shiro becomes a stay at home dad and he takes to it so well. He's Mr. Mom and even other mothers are impressed how he can get Alfor on a schedule, clean the whole home. He also works out with baby Alfor all the time.

Allura hates she cannot reason with a baby and though she's not a bad mom by any means, she's takes longer to settle into the role than Shiro. Alfor is a bit of a mammas Boy though since he cant see Allura all day he gravitates to her when she is home.

When Alfor is 3 Shiro starts making goo goo eyes about another baby but Allura had an AWFUL time with Alfor thar they start to explore other options

They eventually decide to have at least one more half altean child, and to save Allura the grief and morning sickness and hours of labor they test tube a baby and get a wearable tank for it. Think death stranding but without Norman Reedus. 

For altean fetuses quintessence is vital so Allura has to wake up every 2 hours and transfer quintessence to the baby (because Allura is a litteral God of Alchemy she easily over does it and little does she know is making the 2nd most powerful alchemist in history)

This baby is a girl and Allura wants Shiro to pick the name. He panics and starts naming Anime characters until he falls on Temari and it's very close to an altean name so it gets chosen

Pidge and Lance DO NOT let Shiro forget they KNOW he watches Naruto. They nick name the baby “fighting dreamer” which Allura just thinks is cute but makes Shiro full body cringe when he hears it

Temari Dawn Shirogane is finally ‘hatched’ and by all accounts is healthy. She has bright pink Altean marks and pointed ears and Allura will never say out loud but she is thrilled

Temari walks and speaks late, not because she's incapable but because her brother does EVERYTHING for her. She points and Alfor does. He even speaks for her by understanding her non verbal ques

The siblings are pretty much inseparable but they do fight, despite being younger Temari usually wins because she can shape shift really early on

They are a happy little family with Allura doing coalition work, Shiro being a stay at home dad, and two adorable half Altean babies that are doted on by all the Paladins, Coran and Romelle.

When Alfor is 7 and Temari is 3 Shiro asks Allura if they can adopt someone like they had originally planned to do before the surprise pregnancy. Allura agrees and they set ground rules: under 10 years old, no Galra, has to get along with the kids

They set up “play dates” at Diffrent orphanages because they need to make sure Alfor and Temari are okay with their new sibling. These go okay but they never quite find the last piece to their family

For two weeks Allura is away on a diplomatic mission, and Shiro brings the kids out to visit her and they decide to go to the local orphanage in this star system just to see

While At the orphanage Temari wanders off and sits with a half galra boy just trying to read on his own in the corner. She's still babied by Alfor so she doesn't talk. This kid is annoyed by her at first but eventually gives in and starts reading to her. When she wants to get up she grabs his hand and leads him around and the kid begrudgingly Follows.

He's A 12 year old half galra named Vexel and he reminds Shiro so much of Keith that Shiro's Almost foaming at the mouth to adopt this kid. Allura is unsure.

Later in her stay Allura goes to the orphanage alone to meet Vexel. He's quite - kinda moody - but really smart. Allura asks him if he wants To be adopted and he says “I won't be but thats okay as long as the other kids get good homes.” And this breaks Alluras heart and she calls Shiro right there.

After discussions with Alfor and Temari they foster Vexel, until legally adopting him once he's comfortable.

Alfor Loves his brother but still claims he's the oldest. Vexel and Alfor get along great and Temari is still babied by both of them

Allura winds up taking Vexel on trips a lot to let him explore places and he becomes more of a mammas boy as well

Temari is 100% a daddys girl… and a little princess to her big brothers

Alfors favorite uncle is Lance because he's funny. Temaris is Hunk because he always sneaks her treats. And Vex likes both Keith and Pidge but for different reasons (keith is half galra and drives fast while Pidge is the smartest)

ALL GROWN UP

 Alfor grows up to be an artist. Something neither Shiro or Allura prepared for but the kid has incredible talent so he is sent to great art schools and Allura often gifts one of his many works to any diplomatic place she opens. Shiro still has a lot of his art from when he was a child. Alfor eventually opens up the “Takashi Art Gallery” on earth, the place he feels most at home. He never learned to pilot properly, Shiro blames his skills on his mother.

Temari is a gifted alchemist and winds up studying and learning with other Alteans. She is exceptional at construction Alchemy like her grandfather and has built many ships with her aunt Pidge. She is the first to find the restored “Oriande” after it was thought destroyed by Haggar. Temari is always a daddys girl and Is the best pilot of the siblings. 

Vexel is a Doctor who Specializes in mixed species. He himself Is half galra and growing up with half Altean siblings he has learned a lot. He is the head Doctor at a cross species clinic. As a teen he writes and publishes a paper on his siblings puberty which wins him accolades and a full ride scolarship which MORTIFIES Temari.

Fun things

Morning people: Shiro and Alfor

NOT morning people: Allura, Temari, Vexel

Has crashed a ship: everyone but Shiro

Most Swears: Alfor

Pickiest eater: Temari

Most spoiled: Vexel

Worst jokes: Shiro

Best at sports: Allura

[bangtanxmegan]

bts reaction - your child see him crying

MIN YOONGI

Yoongi was frustrated because he couldn't finish a song. He tried to do everything but nothing turned out the way he wanted.

He just laid his head on the table and started to cry. Yoongi heard the studio door open and quickly wiped his face and composed himself when he saw his 6 year old son enter.

"Daddy, I already had lunch, now we can go... are you crying?"

"No."

"But your eyes are red... - Isac approaches and sits on his father's lap, hugging his waist. - "Okay, now you can cry."

Yoongi tries his best not to sob as the tears fall.

KIM SEOKJIN

You and Jin had a horrible argument, it was definitely the worst ever. Feeling very guilty, he decided to sit in the backyard and let all the accumulated tears fall freely.

"Daddy, please don't cry. You're too beautiful for that." - Kira approaches and sits next to her father.

Jin is startled and wipes his tears, a weak smile appears on his lips.

"I never cry, you know that."

"Don't lie to me, young man." - the child hugs him. - "Mom is just a little stressed. If you give her some chocolate, she'll talk to you again."

"Thanks for the help."

JUNG HOSEOK

Hoseok was chopping onions and his eyes were watering.

"I hate chopping onions." - He wipes the tear that fell with his blouse.

"Daddy, are you crying?" - Your daughter enters the kitchen, facing her father.

"No my love, it's just the onions" - you said to the child.

The girl doesn't pay attention to you and run to hug Hoseok's legs, starting to cry.

"Daddy, don't cry."

"My little baby, don't cry. If you cry then I'll cry."

He bent down to hug her, also starting to cry.

It took you a long time to calm down them.

KIM NAMJOON

"I just can't do it anymore. You always put your job first and forget about me and Jiwoo." - you point your finger at Namjoon's face. -"Don't forget that you are my husband and we have a teenage daughter who needs you."

Namjoon starts to cry, sitting on the floor in front of you.

"I swear I try to do my best and be more present, but you need to understand my..."

"I don't want to hear you play the victim, Namjoon." - you go to the table and grab your bag. - "I'm going out to eat something. I'll be right back."

Namjoon cries even more, letting the guilt wash over him.

"Daddy, drink some water."

Jiwoo hands the glass to his father, helping him drink all the liquid. The girl sits there stroking Namjoon's back waiting for him to calm down.

PARK JIMIN

Your son had been in the hospital for nearly three weeks and was showing no improvement. Jimin was trying to be strong, doing everything to help you.

He told you to go home and rest, because he would keep an eye on your son. While he slept, Jimin played with his hair and silently cried.

"Please get well soon..."

"I promise I'll get better." - the boy wakes up and kisses Jimin's face. - "Lie here with me?"

Jimin nods and climbs onto the bed, hugging his son.

KIM TAEHYUNG

Yeontan had passed away due to old age last night, everyone in the house was sad but Taehyung was the one who was the most shaken. The puppy that was part of the best moments of his life would no longer be there. Never.

Taehyung cried looking at the photos on his cell phone, especially the one where Yeontan was sleeping with the twins.

"Dad, he's in a much better place." - Lia kisses his face.

"I heard that good dogs go to heaven and eat treats for eternity." - Leonardo plays with Tae's hair. - "Tantan was a good dog. I bet he has a full belly now."

"He sure is."

Taehyung gives the first smile after hours.

JEON JUNGKOOK

"Breakup? You're kidding, right?" - Jungkook cry.

"No. Our relationship isn't working and you know it very well." - you wipe his tears. - "I don't want Tony to live with us just fighting."

Jungkook sits on the couch and is silently staring at the white wall.

"I'm going to stay at my mother's house. Tomorrow I'll come back to get my stuffs and we'll talk better."

You kiss his cheek and go upstairs to your room.

Tony runs to sit next to Jungkook, hugs his dad and puts on a cartoon he knew his father loves to watch.

[glindaupland]

The Phantom of the Opera | Seoul, South Korea | 집팬텀 x 송크리 Review 5/6

October 13, 2023 - Evening / 1500th Korean performance

The Phantom of the Opera | 김주택 Kim Ju-taek/Julian Kim

Christine Daaé | 송은혜 Song Eun-hye

Raoul, Vicomte de Chagny | 황건하 Hwang Gun-ha

Carlotta Giudicelli | 이지영 Lee Ji-young

Oh another incident of me making excuses to see this show again...

@capitanogiorgio really wanted to go and how could I miss the chance to go with a great friend

it was the 1500th Korean performance

I wanted to see Ju-taek with a completely different cast rotation

...it's King Ju-taek, that's reason enough

It was meant to be because when I checked in with her after ticketing, I had bought a seat right in front of hers without even trying. I was just aiming for the general area. So yeah I'm justified! The stars aligned! No regrets, because this was another performance that blew me away and oh boy I cried again somehow what is this dark magic being done to me

I'm so dumb and I left my binoculars in my hotel room so I literally had to run to grab them and my art print for Yoon Young-seok during intermission. Like I said before though, the Charlotte is very small. The view from the last two seats genuinely doesn't feel that far away like it might at the Majestic. It's just difficult distinguish expressions. Any pair of binoculars and opera glasses can easily rectify that.

Backstage | Little Lotte / The Mirror

Quoting Ceci's notes "XOXO Gossip girl André" I just needed to note his dramatic "WoOoOw~!" and silly teenage girl giggling as they left Raoul to be alone with Christine. So scandalous! We both especially liked his delivery in The Mirror this performance. Even with such a powerful commanding voice he's able to make himself sound gentler and a lot less intimidating in response to Christine. Her words clearly have an affect on him, softening him. He called to her more quietly and eerily this time, but oh that nice little build up again in the final words telling her to come closer? Chef's kiss. Very nice range.

The Music of the Night

As with Dong-seok, SEH Christine was more curious about him and is not the fully obedient student like SJS Christine. It makes it interesting when she's paired with the more controlling Phantoms like KJT or CJR. Even so, these two had some interesting chemistry. He actually got a bit too caught up in the moment, leaning in very close to her (the almost kiss). There was a little bit more urgency when he quickly backed away even though he immediately pretended to be composed again. So maybe she hadn't fully given in yet, but she definitely was getting a little too curious. Both shows it did look he kept getting pulled by small stirrings of something from the intimacy, but he was always quick about brushing it off. This night for the line, "마침내 내 것이 될 순간 / The moment you'll finally be mine" - he put the whispered emphasis on "be mine" By the end, she was definitely more convinced by him and open to listening. But of course, getting jumpscared by a bride replica of yourself might be a bit of a vibe killer so hm that progress kinda dropped

Stranger Than You Dreamt It

Like I said, I left my binoculars for Act 1 so this part was kinda agonizing because I couldn't see facial expressions. But he really sounded more exposed and hysterical after his unmasking than before. He ended his outburst with loud gasps and even the first half of STYDI which was clearly meant to sound intimidating and harsh felt shaky. Once again, SEH Christine didn't take her eyes off of the Phantom when he came near. She began to reach for him when he was close like she had done with JDS Phantom, but he turned away too quickly...

Why Have You Brought Me Here? / All I Ask of You

Side-eyeing the hell out of HGH Raoul again, but extra this time. Until he's just about to start AIAOY, he just comes across as judgmental and irritated with her. Although I definitely prefer him over Hadley, he's a little too much of that type of hot-headed for me. I found it funny that Ju-taek talked about HGH Raoul always being angry. Like even directing his anger at Christine (he noted his way of shouting "이쪽으로 와요 / Come this way!!!" at Christine before she takes him to the rooftop and the way he shouts at Madame Giry). It's too accurate 😭 Anyway, not technically a bad performance, just not my preference with personalities for Raoul. I think he would suit the role of the Phantom a lot more when he’s older 👀 To more briefly summarize this I'm quoting Ceci's notes again: "Tiger big douche tonight?" I will give him that he is very cute during AIAOY and I wish he would continue to be this cute. He was romantic and very passionate about it! I just have a radio performance to share so sadly you won't get the real feeling, but it's at least a little taste?

Wandering Child

I know the Phantom's murdering and kidnapping and whatnot but this is in his top crimes like he's a real bitch for this. He made himself sound so safe and inviting in 'Wandering Child' like leave her alone you weirdo!! And SEH Christine responds with "아빠 - Father?" whenever the Phantom calls for her to come closer at the end of the trio's singing. No, girl, no! 😭 His voice made a complete transformation after being interrupted by Raoul. Suddenly, he had a strong terrifying authoritative presence.

The Point of No Return

I loved how he gently tilted her chin with his fingers during the beginning of his half of the song like Dong-seok had at my first performance 🤭 His voice felt really strong, he really seemed determined and confident, but once again he was absolutely on edge when they get to the bench and struggling to grasp for that "control" he thought he had. They ended the song very close!! He wasn't even able to finish singing the final word. The adrenaline rush was gone. He was scared now. Despite being so intense before, his voice and the way he went to take her hand for the ring became so gentle, but also desperate and rushed at the same time. ...but why did the rooster NO!! get funnier to me. I'm so sorry!

Final Lair

During ‘Down Once More’ she tried to touch him, but he grabbed her angrily to stop her. I think she tried to reach to him or touch him a few other times like when she said she didn’t fear his face anymore, but this only made him panic and lash out more. He was really agitated and on edge! There were a lot more aggressive responses as attempts to suppress his doubts about his actions. Deep down he knew he sensed what he was doing was wrong, but he kept clinging to this feeling of betrayal and the excuse of his face to justify pushing forward. But we're past the point of no return, we can only go full speed ahead now. The way he mocked Raoul seemed so calm, but when HGH Raoul started snapping at him he matched his energy a lot more viciously than when interacting with SWG Raoul. He pounded his chest during the line "이 모든 건 이미 결정된 것 / Everything has already been decided" with a pained emphasis on 'decided'. I think deep inside he already might have known what the ending would have to be Ohhhh when Raoul asked why he would force her to choose a lie this time it enraged the Phantom so much he grunted loudly and looked like he was about to actually strangle him when he lunged at him. SEH Christine was brave about blocking his path and he stormed off again because he couldn't hurt her. But it's kind of funny to me that Ju-taek said the aggression from HGH Raoul triggers more anger from him (that was clear), but when facing SWG Raoul he almost feels bad for him. He also said putting the noose on SWG Raoul is easy, but then HGH Raoul is kinda scary and angry. Personally, I think that putting a noose on HGH Raoul is the equivalent of putting a chihuahua leash on a tiger and hoping it'll hold. The way he gave his "믿었다... 날 믿었다고... / Trusted...you trusted me" reply was sharp, almost sarcastic and he shouted for her to make her choice looking seriously anguished. She looked wounded and sobbed before she began to respond. The kiss was similar to the one with SJS and SEH Christine really didn't want to leave him either. She was trying to stretch her hand out to him while HGH Raoul kept insisting they needed to leave. When he called himself the angel of death she was shaking her head. Hadn't she just expressed something different to him? It looked like it hurt her to still hear those kinds of words from him. But the weight of his guilt was really crushing him so much that he couldn't take it. He fell to the ground crying hard when he chased them away. Upon seeing Christine return, he sighed a little. She was whimpering and sobbing as he told her that he loved her and she nodded slowly in return. He really tried hard to make it look like he was at peace with letting her go, but it was clear he wasn't ready. The moment her hand left his, he let out a shaky sigh like she was his very breath being taken away from him when she ran off crying. But he didn't try to stop her in any way. He just kissed the ring softly and walked picked up the veil on the ground. He quietly repeated her name into the veil over and over again lovingly before he did the same action with the veil singing his final lines. Even though SEH Christine doesn't look at her Phantoms, she sounded mournful and shaky on the way out. I don't think she'd even be able to handle looking at him again

Here's yet another special commemorative audience photo woo! Ceci and I stretched into the aisle so we could find ourselves later and not just be a blur in the crowd and well...there we are. I think he took like 3 different poses before deciding the last one was the right one heh

I think in general the cast was on fire! There was a lot of good energy since it was another special performance. Part of the multiple reasons I chose to attend! After this I could say with confidence that Kim Ju-taek has now ended up being in my top favorite Phantoms. I know he had performance experience from opera, but I still can't believe he's been able to come up one of the most unique perspectives I've seen for this role for his first musical. Now my friends and I have all sorts of future role ideas, so I hope he continues to do musicals in the future! Just one more review left now~

It's promo time enjoy some performances to cleanse your ears!

[elennalore]

Devotion (865 words, rated M)

My ficlet for @angbangweek Day 6. Prompt: Temples | Sacrifice.

Characters: Khamûl, Mairon.

Gen with background Melkor/Mairon.

Summary: Young Khamûl spies on the God-King in a temple and becomes his unexpected confidant.

I hope it is still okay to post this for Angbangweek even though it became Khamûl’s origin story in the end! But there is Melkor/Mairon, too.

Read it below or on Ao3.

From his watching place behind one of the pillars, Khamûl saw the foreign man die. He saw the light of the Sun flash from the polished surface of the golden sickle as it cut the air and then – the man’s exposed throat. The foreign man had been screaming a moment before, but now he gave a strange gurgling sound as his blood sprayed onto the altar stone and his life left him. His body, held by two temple servants, twitched once or twice before it went limp and still. In a moment it was over, there was no more blood to offer to the stone; the golden sickle was withdrawn. In absolute silence, the servants bowed and retreated, dragging the body between them. They passed the pillar behind which Khamûl was hiding, but he was lucky, and they didn’t notice him. He dared to exhale only after they had left.

He could not hide from the God-King, however.

“I know you are there. Step forward, boy.”

His heart was pounding with fear, but even though he was just the butcher’s son and not a temple servant, he knew he should not hesitate when the God-King gave him a direct order. So, he came out of his hiding place and took a couple of steps on the mosaic floor, towards the altar. His eyes were fixed on the reddish rays of light on the floor – sunlight was coming through the tinted glass window. Then he remembered his manners and quickly prostrated himself before the God-King, his forehead touching cool mosaic tiles. He could not quite hear his steps, but somehow he knew that the God-King had come nearer.

“Rise.” The voice of the God-King sounded almost amused. Khamûl didn’t dare to look up.

“How long have you been here? How many sacrifices did you see?”

“Nine,” Khamûl admitted. “All of them.”

 “And do you think it is enough?”

 His eyes averted from a puddle of blood in front of the altar, still dripping down the smooth stone steps. “I don’t know. Perhaps, if it helps?”

 The God-King laughed, and it was not a pleasant laugh at all. “If it helps to get him back – indeed! You must think of me as desperate, trying to get him back. And perhaps I am!”

 “Never, my King!” Khamûl cried out, horrified. He had seen what the God-King did to heretics. Besides, he was not one. He had seen God-King’s powers and knew that he spoke the truth about the mighty Vala who was betrayed and cast into the Void.

 The God-King came to sit down on the altar steps, careful to avoid the spots still dripping with blood, and gestured Khamûl to join him. He hesitated only for a moment. The God-King looked almost vulnerable all of a sudden. Khamûl was both attracted and scared of his attention. He didn’t dare to look on his left where the God-King was seated, a couple of steps higher than him. When a firm hand came to rest on his shoulder, all fear left him, though. He knew that the God-King sought for connection, or maybe a listener.

“I loved him,” The God-King said after a long pause, his voice heavy with emotion. “Melkor made me what I am today. He taught me everything and opened his heart to me. And they took him away from me! They hurt him and pushed him outside the borders of Arda!”

A soft palm, unnaturally warm, cupped Khamûl’s chin and turned his head so that he was forced to meet those strange burning eyes.

“I will do anything to get him back. Do you believe me?”

Khamûl watched the passion burn in the immortal eyes and shivered. “I believe you,” he assured him.

The God-King studied him with great interest. No one had watched Khamûl like that before, as if he had really seen the restless spirit hiding behind his eyes – his true self.

“You don’t fear me.” The words were said in an admiring voice. A little smile flickered across the God-King’s face. “Not like the others.”

To his surprise, Khamûl realized that it was so. He had feared the God-King before –they all did– but now the feeling had changed into something else. “It’s true, my King.”

The God-King cocked an eye at him. “And what do you think of me then?”

Khamûl thought about it. “You have a passionate heart, and you love your Vala a lot.”

The God-King let go of his chin and laughed again, but his laughter sounded less desperate this time.

“I like you, boy. Would you like to come with me when I leave your city? For I must go away one day. There’s more work to do.”

“Yes,” he said without thinking.

The God-King smiled again, and Khamûl wondered if this devotion he felt in his heart was the same the God-King felt towards Melkor. There was a twinkle in his King’s eye as he leaned forward to whisper something in Khamûl’s ear. His ceremonial robes smelled of smoke and ash and blood.

“My real name is Mairon,” he revealed a secret, the first of the many between them, and Khamûl’s heart leapt with unexpected joy.

[cd-head]

now i find i’ve grown into a tall child.

characters ; parrotx2, rekrap2, spokeishere, mapicc, roshambogames, princezam, ashswag, reddoons, itzsubz, vitalasy, yeahjaron, planetlord, baconnwaffles0.

relationships; parrotx2 & rekrap2, parrotx2 & spokeishere, mapicc & roshambogames, mapicc & princezam, ashswag & reddoons, itzsubz & vitalasy, yeahjaron & planetlord, yeahjaron & baconnwaffles0.

tags ; hurt/comfort, hurt/no comfort, poetic ish, implied alcoholism, yearning to be a kid again

word count ; 1546

authors note ; i wrote this at 2 am and finished at 5 am and now its 6 am i apologize

RBS > LIKES

———

“if you feel nothing, why are you shaking?”

and parrot had no reply. he stared forward up at the stars as his wings pulled tight around his body and suddenly there was a tightness in the back of his throat and water spilling down his cheeks.

he felt like a little kid, one who wanted to run to his mom and cry in her arms. but he couldn’t. for she wasn’t here. but rek was.

rek didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around the avian, to hold him close to his chest as he rocked and hummed. to provide what comfort he could to the sobbing boy.

parrot clung tightly to the older boy’s shirt and crumpled and crinkled the fabric as if he was a little kid once more as sobs racked his entire body.

rek sat there and took it, feeling like a adult that was holding tightly onto their child begging them to breathe.

perhaps he was.

//

“if you truly feel nothing then why are you shaking? why don’t you leave?”

parrot had asked. how hypocritical. spoke would argue he was shaking more than he was! and spoke had sworn to never leave.

but he didn’t say that as he simply shrugged, his voice not a siren for once but a sad dying bird who sung it’s last song.

“i don’t know. maybe it’s easier for your brain to handle a lie than the truth?”

“spoke?”

“yeah?”

“i’m tired.”

“yeah. yeah i am too.”

and they both turned to the stars and wished they could ask a god who sat behind a cracked glass why must they live with hearts that aren’t their own.

and arms wrapped around each other and home whispered in their voice that it wasn’t their fault as the two clung to what little they had.

the salt in their tears was harsh on their wounds.

//

“if you feel nothing, why are you shaking? what’s going on?”

mapicc trembled in reply as the vomit in his throat spread to his mouth and splattered on the pavement. he couldn’t tell if he was crying due to the burning in his throat or the burning in his mind.

ro’s gentle hands (even if mapicc saw the blood on his knuckles. it matched his own.) pulled him away from the vomit on the ground and held him as he trembled and shook.

no words were uttered that night but those few. no words but the warmth of a body holding your cold one as you shook and trembled in the night.

longing for your mothers touch. but your friends shall do, for your mother doesn’t love you but your friend does.

they were children. they were murderers. they were kids.

//

‘if he feels nothing then why is he shaking?’

mapiccs mind repeated those words (it felt like a mockery. a turn on ro’s soothing words.) as he stared at zam before him, he should drive an axe through his beautiful neck for looking at him.

he found his hands empty and trembling beneath the stars as zam opened his mouth. he heard it over the rain pounding his cold corpse and the ringing in his ears.

mapicc was not dead, he was not hurt. but he felt like a true corpse. a body that had been reanimated. a puppet. a toy for use.

“know that i loved you. know that it wasn’t enough. and it’s not your fault.” was all zam uttered.

when mapicc cried this time, it mixed with the rain and his knees clicked and clattered but no one came to help the man sobbing in the rain.

the man in the rain didn’t wish to be helped.

//

“if you feel nothin’.. then why are you drinkin’? why are you shaking so bad then?”

ash’s voice was as soft as snow and yet it cut red deeper than a dagger as his hand gripped tighter on the bottle as if to hide the tremors that ran through his body.

a swig. burning hot liquid dripped down his throat and some burned behind his eyes. he wished he could drown it as if it was beer.

he wished he could drown as hands pulled at his trembling ones, wished he could die as they pulled his hands off of the bottle.

red felt, truly felt, like he was being held under water as a warm body met his chest and face. he wished his tears would kill him.

yet it didn’t. no matter how hard he cried.

//

“if you do feel nothing, why are you here?”

red had no answer. he found his tongue cut out and wouldn’t be surprised if he looked to the floor and would find his flesh mocking him on the floor.

his body trembled harshly in the raging winds, and the warmth he sought for loomed before him. he stumbled toward and the warmth caught him, it accepted the coldness of his body and held him tight.

“shhh… sh i got you.” was all red heard from ash, from warmth, from home as the door shut and the true coldness was trapped inside the home of warmth.

he didn’t deserve this and yet he let himself seep into the warmth like a child in their mother’s grasp. desperate for the feeling of love.

but cold cant warm warmth, and warmth cant make cold colder. perhaps in the end they could even each other out.

for now they would breathe together.

//

“if you feel nothing, then why am i here? why are you shaking then?”

the ram blinked in reply at vitalasys words. listening to how they cracked and trembled.

vital was truly terrible at hiding hjs emotions, while subz was too good at it. a man who wore his heart on his sleeve and a man who hide his heart in a chest barbed with wire.

locked with no key to be found other than jammed in the heart that bled onto a sleeve.

the silence hung between them was louder than the stars that glimmered down at them, the breeze in the trees and moon that shined above their heads spoke louder before subz had written words to speak.

before he had lifted his tongue and used it as a flute to sing and tell truths and lies, and he hoped vi knew this one was a truth.

he hoped his trembles showed the truth.

“because i care about you.”

“you do?”

“of course.”

“good. because i care about you too subz!”

and god should smite subz for how he smiled at vitalasy, feeling like a little boy in the summer breeze.

//

“if you feel nothing, then why do you look so scared?”

it was subz’s turn to ask. and vitalasy found himself trembling in reply as he felt the blood on his hands turn cold and harden onto his skin and fur.

he felt sick, he felt empty, he felt nothing. but nothing was never truly nothing, because in the end. everything is nothing, but nothing cannot be everything.

and is that not curious? how one thing can be the other but the other cannot be the thing. because nothing is the absence of a thing, and everything is every little thing. so in its own title, everything is nothing.

so vitalasy felt everything and nothing all at once. for theyre a pair. true opposites yet they stand together.

it reminds him of subz and himself.

“i’m not scared.”

“you’re trembling.”

“… okay yeah i’m scared.”

“of what?”

“nothing. everything. myself. you.”

//

“if you feel nothing, then why are you shaking?”

jaron found his voice gone in the wind as he locked eyes with planet. he wished to sob in the other man’s arms but there is nothing more humiliating then your own desires.

his hands trembled from those desires, the one that ran a sickly cord from his eyes to his throat, to the depths of his stomach.

there is points where longing gets too much, so jaron clenches his jaw everytime he feels that yearning.

perhaps that was why his jaw constantly hurt.

“what is it you feel?”

“nothing."

“why do you lie to me?”

“because.. i’m scared.”

“of?"

“living. i’m scared of living planet.”

the silence that followed felt like butter spreading on toast. it was good, it was nice. it was horrifying, it was evil.

it was everything.

//

“why are you shaking?”

jaron stared at the ceiling, his arms crossed over his chest as his chest rose steadily and a pillow soft under his head.

he felt bacon’s eyes prying on him, his body trembling slightly in a way too subtle to be labeled that he was just cold.

jaron wondered how long bacon had been staring.

bacon waited for a reply as snoring echoed in the next room.

“bacon, i’m not a good person.”

and bacon sat there, waiting for jaron to confess a crime but neither did jaron’s body or lips move.

“so? we’re all bad people jaron. everyone’s a bad person. why should i see you different for trying to survive?”

no reply met bacons ears. he didn’t want one. he laid his head back down and closed his eyes and let the last words to be uttered be a promise.

“goodnight, i’ll see you in the morning.”

“.. night.”

[thegingerwrites]

✨ 15 Questions for Friends ✨

Thanks @dark--whisperings and @virahaus for tagging!

---

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope.

2. When was the last time you cried?

It's been a while but I think I teared up a bit while watching All of us Strangers otherwise I'm not really sure. Edit: nevermind, I know exactly when it was. I was chopping onions literally last night and was full blown crying because of it

3. Do you have kids?

No, I do not!

4. What sports do you play/ have you played?

I did cross country and track throughout high school. In middle school I was on the varsity golf team and before that I played soccer. Nowadays I mostly run 🏃

5. Do you use sarcasm?

Not really?

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

I thought a lot about this question because my first answer was 'not their faces lol'. I have a really hard time remembering names and faces so I want to say that the first thing I notice about people is usually their hair or their clothes or whether they're wearing glasses or not, big things that catch the eye.

7. What's your eye colour?

Blue/green

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

There was a while when I absolutely could not watch scary movies at all but over the last few years I've started getting into them. That said, choosing between the two I would still go happy endings all the way. I'd prefer a comedy over a horror film even though horror can be a lot of fun

9. Any talents?

I have a really hard time differentiating between talents and skills because I feel like every idea that came to mind is something I had to work at and learn. I do think I'm pretty good at that though--having the patience to try new things and being bad at them at first before persevering enough to become kind of good at them. But if I needed to compete in an emergency talent show, I can juggle a little and play the clarinet.

10. Where were you born?

New York, babyyyy

11. What are your hobbies?

One could say I have too many hobbies. Sort of coinciding with question 9, I like trying new things. I picked up sewing out of sheer stubbornness a few years ago because I wanted to learn how to mend some of my clothes. I just started bookbinding with Renegade Book Bindery's Binderary events and I have to take pictures of the books I made. I just finished knitting a few projects. My birthday was this past week and I like to bake my birthday cake every year. I have a sketchbook I'm trying to fill and I watercolor a little bit even though I'm not good at it. I really need to make time to play my clarinet more often. I like to hike and go camping with my dad in the summers...I have a little bit too much to occupy my time.

12. Do you have any pets?

I have a cockapoo named Skipper who is my very best boy.

13. How tall are you?

5'8''

14. Favourite subject in school?

English or History depending on the teacher and I always loved band and chorus

15. Dream job?

Getting paid to write lol. I'm always kicking around ideas for original work in the background of everything else.

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These were cute questions! I spent way too long thinking about them lol. If you want to answer them too, consider yourself tagged!

[amajorartattack]

My General ROTTMNT Donatello Headcanons:

- He’s the tallest at 6′6″, alright. Like the longer neck of a softshell turtle my guys, is what gives him the height over Raph, if he didn’t have the long neck, he’d be the second tallest. - Longer snoot, not always able to see on forward facing shots cuz of perspective. His brothers always boop it, and when they first started doing so it annoyed him to all hell and back, but he’s used to it now.      - Sometimes presses his nose against his brothers, Splinter, or April, to show his affection (Kinda like a headbutt...kinda.) - He often paints his nails, usually purple, or black. But he’s painted them other colors, usually they would be some variant of blue, orange, or red. - Alright, I saw a post...pin thing on Pinterest, and it was where Leo and Donnie had heterochromia, and shared one of the colors, and I absotively posilutely loved it. So yes, he has heterochromia, and shares the red with Leo.      - Also fucking Disaster Twins my beloveds. - Unable to control when his tail wags, but it usually happens when he’s working on something and it’s all coming together, when he’s proud of himself or others, or excited for something. - The fastest swimmer of all of them, and likes to swim, especially when he was younger. - Gamer Boi (yes I know this is technically canon, but.) He streams, and makes videos of him gaming, and there has been many Donnie rage compilations going around (totally not made by Leo) - When he was younger he rarely spoke, and when he did everyone made sure to be quiet and let him do so. - When he gets really overwhelmed, he rarely speaks, or goes completely non-verbal. - Is the second best artist, he needs to be able to draw up designs for his tech, this is one of the main ways that him and Mikey bond. This also is a way that he can communicate if goes non-verbal. - Huge horror fan, especially in game form, but still absolutely gets scared. But that’s the point of it. - Overworks himself, and stays up very late. He has insomnia, but doesn’t always do anything to help with it.       - Splinter has gotten him melatonin gummies, that are safe for Donnie to consume, and he has them in a drawer by his bed. (It’s still a little more than half full.) He only eats them if he’s unable to sleep when he’s already in bed. - He is genuinely great with kids, but claims to not like them. He has said this while a kid was doing it’s damnedest to use Donnie as a jungle-gym, and he did pretty much nothing to stop it.      - Like; April: Donnie, you should come help me with work at *insert random restaurant that is catered to kids*, it’ll be fun.        Donnie (letting a kid mess with his claws): Now why would I do that? I don’t like kids.        April: You’re-but. EH?! - He is the older twin, and has used it to his advantages against Leo. He’s like two minutes older. - For as much as he likes pizza, his favorite food is actually ramen, especially seafood ramen. He knows all of the ramen places in New York, and has them labeled from best to worst. (He cries a little inside whenever he sees that the top most best place is closed.) - Knows all new slang, but chooses to not say it, or claims to say it ironically. Also has more than likely created a new slang word without knowing. - Woops ass in Mario Kart, and always plays as Bowser. Claims he’s the best character to play as because of his high speed stats, even if he has a lower acceleration stat. - Honestly to me, this guy is Demisexual/romantic, he’s gotta be able to trust and feel trust before making any claims about a relationship. - Genderfluid, most often he feels like he’s a guy, and uses he/him pronouns. - Also wears contacts, and if he doesn't have any (even though he typically always keeps a good stock of them,) he wears glasses. - Connecting the 7th and 11th lil hc thing, Donnie does not stream or record videos of himself playing horror games, because he knows that his brothers will see them, and he doesn’t want his videos to be the source of any of their nightmares.

(Imma more than likely just add onto this when I think of more shit to add. This is mainly because I posted this at 4 am, and I was really tired, and so now that I’m more awake I’m thinking of other things to add.)