#breakingpatterns

[in-tenebris-et-in-solitudine]

This birthday I didn't cry alone in my room so that's a win at least..

[writerhellenemeyers]

When you're subconsciously putting off writing, then something pops up in your social media doom scroll that reminds you of the book title. And now you are consciously aware of what you're doing. Oops 😬

[theaspirationsinstitute]

[worklesslady]

The golden child curse

Premise: I love my parents, they are people who truly did everything, based on what they thought was right, for me and my sister.

I am the golden child of the family. I have an older sister, who instead is the black sheep and the scapegoat. She has always caused trouble, didn't do well in school, and let herself go aesthetically (due to depression).

My sister is the classic fish that was judged because she couldn't climb trees, yet no one ever noticed that she was the best swimmer instead. If my parents, especially my mother, had been more empathetic and sensitive people, perhaps they would have understood my sister without forcing her to fit into an idea of success that wasn't meant for her.

However, my parents carry their own traumas. Culture and education lifted them to a higher social class at a time when in Italy it was not at all common to attend university (especially for a woman). Consequently, study and extreme discipline have always been the foundational values of my mother.

My sister used the strategy of "giving up", she didn't even try, the expectations were too high. Hence, my mother has always considered herself disappointed and almost embarrassed by her. It's worth noting that my sister has a stable job, has recovered from depression and a suicide attempt, and has lost over 20kg that she gained during depression. My sister is a tough cookie and the "problems" she caused my parents, now seen through the eyes of an adult, were trivial things and all cries for help from a suffering emotional state that were not listened to.

I, born 9 years later and the only natural child, was the second chance. I tried to meet my parents' expectations, and that's why I became the Golden Child. Excellent in everything I did, from school to sports, destined for great things. Yet the pressure was immense, too much, terrible.

Here is where that seed settled in, the one that didn't allow me to accomplish any of the great things I was destined for: anxiety and insecurity. All my achieved goals never belonged to me, but I always did them for my parents. I was taught to perform, not to enjoy the process, not to take pleasure in what I was doing just because I was doing it.

The solution was to leave, to go abroad, to escape to be alone, to find myself. I worked in a souvenir shop for 6 years while freelancing as a journalist, photographer, and videomaker. But the truth? I didn't have the guts to freelance, I didn't have the thick skin to deal with the sole fear of client criticism (even if it didn't come), and I charged very little because I didn't believe in my abilities. Anxiety and insecurity.

Fortunately, I found my girlfriend, someone who believes in me for who I am. Yes, it was a shock for my parents to see me with a woman, and seeing them disappointed by this choice still hurts me (even though it's better now after 6 years).

She gave me the strength to try to change my life, so I found a job in customer support, studied on my own, climbed the corporate ladder, and after almost 5 years, I found myself as a Marketing Operations Manager. I was one of the most competent in the international team for this job, and I was doing great, until the promotion two months ago.

That promotion meant to me: you did it! You earn more than your parents ever did, you do a job you love and excel at, I have a home, a girlfriend I love immensely. A dog was about to join the picture… and then the layoff.

That job for me was my redemption, my "having made it." The Golden Child hadn't failed after all!

The CEOs who decide on these layoffs don't know that people lose more than just a job; they don't know what it truly represents. A colleague of mine was pregnant when she was laid off; I can only imagine the stress of facing a pregnancy knowing she had lost her job.

On paper, I'm very fortunate. We had to give up the dog that was on the way, but otherwise, we don't have too many expenses, we don't have children, and my girlfriend works. We have money for a while. For this reason, many say to relax and enjoy the free time, but how can I? I am the Golden Child! I can't afford to do nothing, to not perform.

To my parents, I haven't said anything; I don't have the strength to handle their emotions as well. Here where I live, I'm surrounded by people who believe in me and support me, yet the curse of the Golden Child is wearing me down. Anxiety is killing me, and the job application process is torture because I take any rejection, even one generated by a robot, as confirmation that I'm just a fraud, that it's not true that I had potential, that it's not true that I know how to do things, that as the Golden Child, I have failed.

Yes, I need to see a therapist, I know, I already have an appointment next week. Because I have all the time and the necessary calm to commit to finding a job, and it could also be a stimulating journey if taken in the right direction, or if not stimulating, at least normal. I don't think it's necessary to face it with anxiety cramps, with tears in my eyes, and a damn fear of making any mistake.

Were you also the golden child? How are you doing now? Who else thinks that this role assigned by the family is devastating? How did you get out of it?

[philo-mythic]

"A pattern is a combination of beliefs resonating as a well-trodden road, tried and true. But how shall I walk the least walked roads?"

[misticotraveler]

Break Free from Toxic Patterns: Self-Awareness Tips by Mistico Traveler - Discover. Transform. Thrive Discovering a Life of True Freedom: https://ift.tt/Xhr9fY2. Discover how to identify and change the negative patterns in your life. By understanding the beliefs that lead to recurring issues, we can redefine ourselves and prevent past mistakes from repeating. Take control of your narrative today! #SelfAwareness #PersonalGrowth #BreakingPatterns #MindsetShift #LifeCoach #Empowerment #ChangeYourNarrative #SelfImprovement #MentalHealth #Beliefs via YouTube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gOBg6GtITpI

[ga1n3s]

Change the areas that could be better and better the areas that are already good. Be intentional about happiness for you and who you love. #courage #change #breakingpatterns #intention (at Phoenix, Arizona) https://www.instagram.com/p/CMG3JEVlQ4L/?igshid=196aijkodb6aj

[the-happy-seal]

Okay first of all, covid sucks. I need to let it out of my system before I get into any kind of literature on self-love and discipline. It has overstayed it's welcome and taken away a lot more from me personally than the positives I can weigh. But for the sake of not throwing any more negativity on social media than we are already privy to, I will talk about the brighter side of things.

The pandemic has developed me into a "real" person, the way a polaroid shows up after you shake it for a while. I became an auditor for the love of crisp suits and fancy coffee machines. But when covid hit, I started romanticizing the idea of making a change and living outside the city with my garden and pets, with a lot more space to put my purchases at display. In reality I live in a concrete jungle with an increasingly aggressive neighbor and her angry cat, but my short term goals have not changed. What I have noticed after a year of isolation, apart from how fast things get dusty again, is how much I love shopping. The thrill of purchasing and owning anything new is starting to feel better than actually using them and I don't know If I'm coping or cheating or keeping the fabric and leather industries afloat.

It was be easy to label this as a pandemic hobby, but who am I kidding? I've been doing this in the name of self-love since the day I earned my first rupee. This consumerist tango is one I've danced so long, I can hear it's rhythm in my sleep. I've dismissed this toxic trait as "making up for the years where I couldn't afford things", but now, as I sip my mimosa from my very expensive Kate spade glass, I wonder if this is worth my financial anxiety.

I think, it was only this pandemic that made me realize that self-love can also be sipping that mimosa in a Dollarama glass while watching Flintstones. It can also be choosing gratitude over constant complaining of things which are way beyond my power to regulate. It can be learning about new ways to invest, it can be as small as choosing a slightly more expensive detergent, it can be a new podcast and journaling what you love about yourself, taking responsibility for your fuck-ups without finding the need to explain yourself. However, this entire façade of self-love is easier said than done. I think I made enough failed attempts of trying to stop myself from burning money on corsets and carbs before I realized the significance of decluttering, organizing and moving furniture around just for the heck of enjoying a tiny bit of change. In the last 12 months, my excitement around owning a new investment grew more than owning a Balenciaga and I consider that as a very big win. (Also, I know it’s basic adulting, but I never thought I was capable of it, so yay!)

I could end this with something as romantic as "in the absence of warm human hugs, I loved to learn myself to the fullest", and that wouldn't be true, and since I am absolutely against the idea of portraying only the pleasant side of life on social media, I'd say that I am still lonely as a vacant lot, but I break-up the monotony of my days by treasuring my new habits and discovering myself as I go.

[lolameandmyself]

#breakingpatterns #berlinkreuzberg https://www.instagram.com/p/B9T6A9jowzt/?igshid=79ro0r1wti4m

[rxharpe]

New moon in Pisces. Inspiration and energy for fulfilling dreams. Recognizing and breaking old patterns. The weekend was spent dancing for a world without violence against women and meeting new friends. Reminding me of my commitments to helping people with my gifts and making this world a better place. Honoring the feminine and appreciating the masculine. Challenges and opportunities to face my shadow and fears ensuing in the days surrounding the new moon. Compassion and forgiveness make room for more love and connection. Honer the divine within everything! #latergram #pisces #37 #happy #eatingwell #visualarts #performingarts #rose #strongerinsideandout #dream #healer #fierce #feminine #bestrong #bewell #masculine #balance #peace #forgiveness #breakingpatterns #feelgood #timing #mainsqueeze #bodyofwork #sleep #womanruntheworld #love (at The Collection at RiverPark) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9JVr_TFmTc/?igshid=1ic4csg2n1720

[wonkvision]

#breakingpatterns #221123 @garym_promo @juancosby @soapfloatsrecording https://www.instagram.com/p/CkXLhZdIBXM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[pbcnita]

Who do you truly want to be? How does spirit see you? They see all you do in public and in private. Spirit deals with you according to the true you, without your mask. You can't use them, thier names or thier likeness as camouflage but for so long. Do the work to heal, grow and learn from your mistakes. Only then will your blessings reach you. #eggunsaidspeaktothosewhowilllisten #themaninthemirror #you #ancestralwisdom #breakingpatterns #wefalldownbutwegetup #workisrequired #pureofheart #pureintentions #forthegreatergood #tobeofservice #puresoul #weareheretolearngrowelevate #learnfromyourmistakes #whenweknowbetterwedobetter #spiritseesall #spiritualawakening #energyisthecurrencyoftheuniverse #yougetbackwhatyouputout #discipline #structure #accountability #boundaries #shadowwork #selfreflection #selfawareness #truth #honestyandintegrity https://www.instagram.com/p/CXoyG6DutAg/?utm_medium=tumblr

[thelightclinic]

It’s Wednesday, which means Carrie is at the clinic doing her Craniosacral •color therapy•guided meditation magic!✨💖 Book an appointment with her for whole body wellness! ✨www.thelightclinic.org ✨502.330.4233 ❤️And here’s a little more about Carrie from her bio: Carrie Seay, a native of Louisville, Kentucky, happily resides in Frankfort, Kentucky with her daughter and several fuzzy critters. Carrie was first introduced to CranioSacral Therapy in 1999 with the birth of her daughter. This modality successfully helped integrate her young daughter into this world of sensory overload that can be difficult for sensitive babies. It was Carrie's personal life journey and struggles with chronic depression and anxiety that ultimately led her back to Craniosacral nearly a decade later. Learn more about CranioSacral Therapy. In 2006, after a lifetime searching for an effective way to manage and find relief from depression and anxiety, she began studying visualization and meditation techniques. Her journey led her to many amazing teachers and aided her in developing skills that have helped her and others. Whether utilizing CranioSacral work as a complementary or primary component to the treatment of an acute or chronic condition, Carrie is excited to meet you in your journey and assist in the most positive way for your health and healing. Please contact her with any questions or to schedule an introductory consultation to see if CranioSacral work is the right treatment for you and your health needs.✨ #thelightclinic #craniosacral #craniosacraltherapy #healing #wellness #massage #selfcare #osteopathy #chronicpain #mentalhealth #colorado #balance #mindset #painrelief #deconditioning #breakingpatterns #holisticwellness #loveyourself #shift #intuitionmedicine #colortherapy #growth #createspace #unravel #fallapart #lifecoach #limitingbeliefs #innerwork #mindbodyspirit #spiritualawakening (at Frankfort, Kentucky) https://www.instagram.com/p/CTkpyLpnOkn/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mujeralchimista]

This is you #thankfultuesday reminder that: The best revenge is #norevenge , grow from every experience and learn about how people’s personalities has a lot more to do with their inner child learnings than anything else. After you do that, you become compassionate and you are able to better forgive and keep the ones that matter, or forgive and discard the ones who don’t. . . #unfuckyourself #unfuckwithable #changeyourmindset #breakingpatterns #paradigmshift #paradigmshifters #navigatethechaos https://www.instagram.com/p/CRjeMphMl9J/?utm_medium=tumblr

[wonkytonkmusic]

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. – #aristotle 📸 @richtarbell #breakingpatterns #itsgonnatakealittlewhile #lessonsandlovers #lovedetox #stuffweleavebehind #hippiedirt #superholyfantasticep #getonthetrain #outofthebarn #learningtodance #graceandgrit #anthology https://www.instagram.com/p/CPIkWtQhKeQ/?utm_medium=tumblr

[pandorapsychic]

The 3 fates.⁣ What comes around....⁣ ⁣ It's happening again! Many of us have faced difficulty and troubled times in our lives. Sometimes the impact of a negative experience is so profound that it leaves us with physical, mental, and yes, spiritual residue for months, even years, after the actual event. While you are still vibrating to the energy of a negative experience, you tend to repeatedly attract echoes of that exact experience. So when you need to be alerted to that fact, this card will enter, showing you that this is a karmic pattern that may need to be worked on, understood and ⁣ re-created in order to be free of its influence. So, stop beating yourself up. You have an opportunity now to heal, to clear, to no longer feel sad about the same thing anymore. You can do things differently, you are not a prisoner of how they have always been done. What you have done can be reworked and learned from. That is wisdom! ⁣ ⁣ Do you need more insight? Link in bio to book a session with me.⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ ⁣ #karma #karmicpattern #breakingpatterns #newperspective #karmiclession #psychicmedium #chicagopsychic #chicagohealer #intuitivelifecoach #psychicreading #ethicalpsychic (at Worldwide) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9FKj_3n_gA/?igshid=1q19eiidbvry