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#btw please excuse the blurriness
redstarfish-art · 1 year
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Which Jason is best?
All drawn by me. This is what it looks like when an artist does not have an established art style. XDDD
4 notes · View notes
featguler · 3 months
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can u do a cute jude smau pls
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better half ────── life is hard when your girlfriend is forever away.
♡ ────── pairing : jude bellingham x reader ♡ ────── tags : reader is female, and her faceclaim is established. pre-established relationship with jude. reader lives in england. jude is down bad his love language is being annoying to all of reader's friends ♡ ────── notes : jude smau debut!! he is actually so embarrassing here i love him. thanks for the request!! this took wayyyyy longer than i had initially anticipated, the word "jude bellingham" doesn't even look real to me now. pls tell me what u think!! ♡ masterlist.
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FACECLAIM 𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ naura ayu ( instagram )
DISCLAIMER 𖤐⭒๋࣭ ⭑ 𐙚 i am not affiliated with naura ayu, jude, or anyone mentioned in this fic 𐙚 any similarities in name, time, and place is purely coincidental 𐙚 do not mind the time stamps 𐙚 click on the pictures if it seems blurry
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ynusername
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liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, and others
ynusername cowboy boots 👢🤠 view all comments
judebellingham thank you for posting 🙏🙏🙏 ❤️ by author
yourfriend1 hand in marriage? 💍 ❤️ by author
judebellingham no ❤️ by author ynusername marry me 🥰
ynusername photos by the love of my life!! @.yourbestfriend
yourbestfriend STEP ON ME WITH YOUR BOOTS ❤️ by author
judebellingham @.yourbestfriend find your own y/n don't take mine yourbestfriend @.judebellingham I WAS HERE FIRST ynusername pls children no fighting!! @.judebellingham @.yourbestfriend ynusername ilyyyyy @.yourbestfriend judebellingham @.ynusername what about me?? ynusername @.judebellingham you more!! 🥰 yourbestfriend @.ynusername HELLO?????
jobebellingham looking good 😎🔥 ❤️ by author
ynusername ily 💖 jobebellingham ❤️❤️ ❤️ by author
yourfriend2 PRETTIEST GIRL ILYYY ❤️ by author
ynusername ILY MOREEEE
judebellingham 📷 by jude bellingham ❤️ by author
yourbestfriend excuse me??? judebellingham @.yourbestfriend deal with it
judebellingham i took these pictures btw ❤️ by author
jobebellingham ??? judebellingham @.jobebellingham mind your own business ynusername @.jobebellingham ignore him, he's jealous that we're having brunch this weekend, haha 💖 judebellingham good to know you two hate me @.ynusername @.jobebellingham ❤️ by author jobebellingham @.judebellingham 🤣
username1 i LOOOVE your skirt so much!!
ynusername right!! 💕 i got them from @.daisy____fits
judebellingham i miss you baby ❤️ by author
ynusername aww i miss you more 🫶🫶🫶🥺🥺 i luv u!! <333 judebellingham @.ynusername liar ❤️ by author ynusername @.judebellingham 🥰🥰🥰
username2 YOU'RE SOOO PRETTY ❤️ by author
username3 makeup tutorial plssssss
yourfriend3 illusion of height!! she is not this tall irl!!! ❤️ by author
ynusername don't reveal my secret!
judebellingham booking a flight home rn ❤️ by author
ynusername hahaha i will be waiting baby <3
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ynusername
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liked by judebellingham, yourbestfriend, and others
ynusername halloween this year hits different // 📷 by @.yourbestfriend! 🫶 view all comments
judebellingham hello my love please delete this ❤️ by author
ynusername i miss you more baabyyy 💝💝💝 judebellingham @.ynusername please delete
yourfriend1 OMGGG take me to the old days!!! ❤️ by author
ynusername i miss u so much 😢😢💓💓
judebellingham @.ynusername do you miss me baby ❤️ by author ynusername @.judebellingham ofc baby i miss you mostest!! 💋💋 yourfriend1 GET AWAY FROM MY COMMENT! @.judebellingham judebellingham @.ynusername ✊✊✊ CAUGHT YOUR KISS!!!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ ❤️ by author judebellingham @.yourfriend1 jealousy is a disease of the heart
username1 i LOVE this halloween look wtf
yourbestfriend block jude pls ❤️ by author
ynusername haha ily <333 yourbestfriend @.ynusername BLOCK HIM PLS ❤️ by author
username2 it should be illegal to look this good
yourfriend2 girll i miss you so much 🥵 when are we hanging out? x ❤️ by author
judebellingham get in line ❤️ by author ynusername soon! 💕
judebellingham everyone LOOK AWAY ❤️ by author
ynusername i love you babyy!! ❣️ judebellingham @.ynusername i love you more!!! wait for me to come home!!! ❤️ by author ynusername @.judebellingham always waiting 💞
judebellingham @.instagram please delete this post only i'm allowed to see y/n, thank you ❤️ by author
ynusername hahaha babyy 💞💞💞 yourbestfriend GO AWAY BELLINGHAM
username3 i see jude's comment on this post alone more than i see my own grandpa
judebellingham hi gorgeous what's your name ❤️ by author
judebellingham please ❤️ by author ynusername hi pretty booyy <33 😍😍😍 judebellingham @.ynusername MY LOOOVEE ❤️❤️❤️ ❤️ by author
judebellingham do you have a boyfriend ❤️ by author
ynusername i do actually 😿💔 sorry judebellingham @.ynusername fuck ❤️ by author
username4 it's giving mean girls the musical
username5 🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵
judebellingham 📷 by jude bellingham ❤️ by author
yourbestfriend FUCK OFF BRO
judebellingham i miss youuuuuuuuuuuuu 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
ynusername i miss you too baby!! we'll see each other soon, kay? 🥰🥰🥰🥰
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ynusername
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liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, yourbestfriend and others
ynusername i love getting dolled up! 💋 view all comments
judebellingham first like ❤️ by author
yourbestfriend actually i was here first judebellingham @.yourbestfriend all i see is lies ynusername i love you two!! <3 @.judebellingham @.yourbestfriend judebellingham @.yourbestfriend see, she tagged me first before you. score is settled long ago yourbestfriend @.ynusername BLOCK THIS BITCH OMFG
judebellingham first comment ❤️ by author
ynusername my biggest fan!!! judebellingham @.ynusername THAT'S ME!! ❤️ by author
yourfriend1 MISS GIRLL HELLLOO NOTICE ME QUEEN ❤️ by author
ynusername KLDFJSL MWAH MWAH 💋💋💋 judebellingham where's MY kiss???? @.ynusername ❤️ by author yourfriend1 FUCK OFF OMG THAT'S MY KISS @.judebellingham
judebellingham first place in your heart ❤️ by author
jobebellingham looking good!!! 🫶 ❤️ by author
judebellingham find another thing to comment jobebellingham @.judebellingham i dont have to get creative i see her every week yourfriend1 @.jobebellingham GET HIS ASS!! judebellingham @.jobebellingham i'm telling dad ynusername @.jobebellingham thanks jobe!! 💝 love you! judebellingham @.ynusername and me? ❤️ by author ynusername @.judebellingham you the most, of course <3
judebellingham can i have your number sweetheart you are gorgeous xo ❤️ by author
ynusername hahaha sorry i have a boyfriend <//3 judebellingham @.ynusername damn what a lucky sucker ❤️ by author
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ynusername
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liked by judebellingham, jobebellingham, and others
ynusername dinner with my favourite people 💕 photos by @.jobebellingham <3 tagged jobebellingham view all comments
judebellingham explain??? @.jobebellingham
jobebellingham wtf
judebellingham photos by @.judebellingham <3 ❤️ by author
jobebellingham you misspelled jobe ❤️ by author judebellingham @.jobebellingham i wasn't trying to spell jobe ❤️ by author
yourfriend1 HOOOOOT ❤️ by author
ynusername THANK YOU BABE I LOVE YOU judebellingham @.ynusername you're welcome yourfriend1 @.judebellingham FUCK OFF MATE
judebellingham notice how she says favourite people and not favourite person ❤️ by author
judebellingham that's because i'm her favourite person ❤️ by author yourfriend2 @.judebellingham boy if you run your mouth one more time ynusername it's true!! my favorite person my favorite boy my favorite football player <33 @.judebellingham
jobebellingham i take such good pictures ❤️ by author
ynusername you do!! thank you jobe 💖
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ynusername
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liked by judebellingham, yourbestfriend, and others
ynusername this weekend + someone's going home! 🥰 @.judebellingham tagged judebellingham view all comments
yourbestfriend JUDE'S GOING TO ENGLAND?????????? ❤️ by author
yourbestfriend FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK ❤️ by author
yourfriend1 i'm committing a crime ❤️ by author yourfriend2 worse day of my life fr ❤️ by author judebellingham jealousy truly is when you count someone else's blessing instead of yours 🙏🙏🙏 @.yourbestfriend @.yourfriend1 @.yourfriend2
judebellingham which flower shop is that ❤️ by author
judebellingham i'll get you the whole shop ❤️ by author
yourfriend1 sexy girl in her sexy costume 👅 ❤️ by author
judebellingham thank you those are my hands btw ❤️ by author ynusername 🥺🥺💝 yourfriend1 @.judebellingham idc go away
judebellingham photos by jude bellingham all of them ❤️ by author
yourfriend3 oohh girl 🥵 the hands on your thighs 👅💦💦 ❤️ by author
judebellingham my hands thank you ❤️ by author ynusername hahaha ily <33 let's meet up @.yourfriend3
username1 hooot 🥵🥵🥵🥵
username2 the hands on the thighs are such gamechangers
judebellingham those are my hands thanks
yourfriend4 NOOOOO NOT JUDE GOING HOME ❤️ by author
yourbestfriend this close to paying the pilot to turn the plane back to madrid ❤️ by author judebellingham @.yourfriend4 @.yourbestfriend winners focus on winning while losers focus on winners... says a lot about you two 🙏💖 ❤️ by author yourbestfriend BLOCK HIM @.ynusername ❤️ by author ynusername hahaha 🩷 love you three xo @.yourfriend4 @.yourbestfriend @.judebellingham judebellingham she loves me most tho @.yourbestfriend @.yourfriend4 ❤️ by author
username3 that lola costume is so goooood
judebellingham thank you ❤️ by author
judebellingham EVERYONE PLEASE LOOK AWAY ❤️ by author
username4 thank you y/n now i know what jude looks like facetiming me
yourfriend5 LILO SPOTTED 🐈 ❤️ by author
ynusername my favorite cat in all of london! 😽😽 yourfriend5 @.ynusername she loves you so much!! judebellingham @.yourfriend5 not anymore than i love her yourfriend5 @.judebellingham SHE'S A CAT judebellingham @.yourfriend5 i don't care
judebellingham can i be the bugsy to your lola xo ❤️ by author
username5 why is jude the most annoying person
judebellingham i'm boarding the plane baby I'LL SEE YOU I LOVE YOU ❤️ by author
judebellingham I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU ❤️ by author
username6 this comment section... 😭😭😭
judebellingham I LOVE YOU SO MUCH ❤️ by author
judebellingham PLEASE THINK OF ME I LOVE YOU MY LIFE MY LOVE MY EVERYTHING ❤️ by author
yourbestfriend SHUT UP BOY OMGGGG ❤️ by author yourfriend3 GET ON YOUR DAMN PLANE ❤️ by author
judebellingham see you soon my love my darling ❤️ by author
ynusername stay safe love!! 💕
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ynusername
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liked by judebellingham, yourbestfriend, jobebellingham and others
ynusername we're both in the backseat because neither of us know how to drive 😝 tagged judebellingham view all comments
judebellingham YOU ARE ALL I WANT ❤️ by author
ynusername such sweet boy <3333 judebellingham @.ynusername sweetest for you <3333 ❤️ by author judebellingham ily <333 @.ynusername ❤️ by author
judebellingham YOU ARE ALL I LOVE ❤️ by author
ynusername aww i love you more baby!!!
username1 JUDE WE GET IT 😭😭😭
yourbestfriend imagine how tired we feel
ynusername photos by @.judebellingham 💘
judebellingham that's right baby ❤️ by author judebellingham photos by jude bellingham ❤️ by author
yourbestfriend close enough welcome back the worse week of my life ❤️ by author
judebellingham jealousy and bitterness is poison to the soul yourbestfriend @.judebellingham boy if you don't close your mouth ynusername just for a while <3 i love you!! @.yourbestfriend
judebellingham YOU ARE MY EVERYTHING ❤️ by author
username2 does y/n ever get tired of jude omfg
judebellingham no ynusername hahaha never x 💕
yourfriend1 great thanks jude it's time to never see y/n ever again ❤️ by author
ynusername aww don't be dramatic!! i love you!! judebellingham @.yourfriend1 the worst part of being happy is finding friends who support and love you yourfriend1 @.judebellingham I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS
judebellingham I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU ❤️ by author
ynusername i love you more baby!! 🌹
judebellingham never leave me ❤️ by author
ynusername i would never!! 💝💝
yourfriend2 it's been 40 seconds @.judebellingham ❤️ by author
judebellingham you don't understand true love i guess ❤️ by author
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471 notes · View notes
seaslugfanclub · 5 months
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Hi I'm a big fan of yours and I really enjoy the villains and y/n interactions. Btw I want to ask what made frollo develop feelings for y/n.
Do Judges dream of park attendants?
(Frollo x Reader)
TW: description of Panic attacks
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Out of all the Disney villains brought to life by Disney, Frollo is having the hardest time. All of his beliefs, everything he had sacrificed in his life have been destroyed in an instant the moment he opened his eyes in this Infernal theme park
Frollo doesn’t actually believe he’s alive anymore, that the Disney parks is his divine punishment
Though deserved, everywhere he goes he’s ostracized and humiliated. His fellow villains love to single him out to needle him, especially Hades.
He’s so tight that if you shoved a piece of coal up his ass, two weeks later you’d get a diamond
It’s obvious in the film that his mental psyche is as fragile as communion wafers, and this has been amplified to 100 now that he’s in a completely unrecognizable reality.
He hasn’t slept in months, barley eaten (he excuses this as religious fasting) and rarely talks to others
The only person who tried to regularly interact with Frollo is that scrappy park attendant, (Y/N)…
Usually it’s quick conversations, greetings and goodbyes, “how are ya?”s, and sometimes brief smiles. Something that both disgusts and confuses Frollo, a strange prickling feeling in his cheeks whenever he makes eye contact with (Y/N)
Panic attacks have become a regular occurrence for Frollo, usually when the sensory nightmare of Disney parks get to much for him, although he usually isolates himself to avoid being so vulnerable
Most of the time Frollo’s able to keep his emotions in check until he’s alone, so most of his panic attacks come out at night
One night his episodes were really, really bad, everything Frollo had tried to hold in finally boiled over, leaving the ex-judge crumbled to the ground, frozen in terror.
He didn’t need a fireplace to feel the licks of flames on his skin, and no matter how hard he clenched his hands over his ears, Frollo couldn’t stop the chanting echoing in his head.
It felt like a lead weight was on his chest, and dark spots were crawling into his vision, threatening to pass out
Frollo was too lost in his own head, mumbling prayers to himself as the crackling of fire and chanting drowned out all sounds, even the light creaking of his bedroom door opening…
“Pr- preces meæ non sunt.. dignæ Sed- sed tu bonus fac benigne, Ne perenni cremer igne…. Pie Iesu Domine,Dona ipse requiem…. Preces meæ non—”
“Frollo?”
The feeling of a hand resting on his head broke Frollo out of his mumbling. Through blurry vision the ex-judge made out a figure crouching above him, their hand slowly petting his hair. The sensation of soft fingers on his hair felt grounding, with each stroke the flames began to lull…. Has an angel finally come to end his misery?
“Frollo? Are you alright?
The black spots around his vision began to subside, as his teary eyes cleared enough to see the worried face of (Y/N), the young park attendant. At any other point in time, Frollo would’ve flinched away from their touch, cursing them out for having the gall to lay their filthy hands on a holy man, but all of his senses had failed him, and their touch had quelled the flames and disembodied chanting around him.
Starving for any source of familiarity, Frollos trembling hands reached to clutch onto (Y/N)’s pants,
“Je ne peux plus faire ça— Je—”
“Frollo, please- I can’t understand you…” (Y/N) pleaded, at a loss at what to do with the pathetic man before them.
(Y/N) was finishing their shift for the evening, their final task was to check on each villain to make sure they were set for night. They were walking down the hall to check on Sher Khan when they heard a thump behind Claude Frollos door, wall muffling the sound of weeping. Knocking on the door brought to response, and worried that the old man might’ve actually fallen and couldn’t get up, (Y/N) slowly cracked open the door.
Instead of being immediately kicked out by the ex-judge, French curses thrown at them— they found Frollo slumped against his bed, mumbling latin to himself, his eyes a thousand miles away.
(Y/N) was at a loss, they had never seen Frollo this desperate, this deep into despair. Even when they watched the “Hunchback of Notre Dame” and his song “Hellfire” was he this vunerable. This was unfamiliar territory.
But panic attacks were familiar, especially with how to deal with them.
“Frollo? You’re alright… Your minds just working against you right now.” (Y/N) hummed, continuing to pet Frollos silver hair,
“Here, I’ll be right back,” gently removing Frollos hands, (Y/N) grabbed a spare glass from his nightstand before rushing into the bathroom. Turning on the sink faucet, they filled the glass with cold water then crouched below the sink to open the drawers. They grabbed neatly folded a face towel, a Mickey Mouse insignia embroidered in the corner— (Y/N) wet the towel, making sure that it was thoroughly soaked then grabbed the glass, walking back into Frollos room, the man still on the floor, pale face just watching (Y/N).
“Try to drink something, I know you might feel nauseous, but I promise this helps,” They offered the glass to Frollo, who continued to just stare at (Y/N). After a few seconds between them, He hesitantly reached out and took the water with shaking hands.
As he began to take small sips, the cold water cooled his throat, and he could feel the water cool his insides as he swallowed. The flames were dowsed.
“It’s already 11, you must be exhausted… I think it’s best to try and sleep. Don’t even worry about changing, just get comfortable. I always feel better when I lie down.”
Helping him up, they watched patiently as Frollo collapsed into his bed, not even bothering to pull up the sheets. As he lay on his back, he finally closed his eyes, only for them to open again when (Y/N) lifted his bangs to place the cold wash-cloth on his forehead. His pale cheeks prickling again at the feather light touch of (Y/N) fingers and the cooling sensation of the cloth on his skin.
“Uh— whenever I get an attack, anything cold helps me bring myself back to reality.. and uh, and a wet washrag stays cool for a while, I like to wash my face with it to feel refreshed.” (Y/N) offered quietly, having a difficult time maintaining eye contact with Frollo.
Frollo was at a loss, never— never has he been the subject of such care from another human before, not as a boy, not from the church, not even from his lord. How could he even react to this? It was all to much.
He was tired, mentally and physically, darkness beginning to overtake his vision again, but this time from pure exhaustion.
Risking it a final time, (Y/N) gave Frollos hair one last pet, “I’ll find a way to take you off schedule for the rest of the week, I wish I could get you months off… I’m sorry. But for now, get some rest ok?”
With a final smile, they turned to resume their rounds, already late to check up on the others, but before they could step away from the bed, a hand grasped their arm, stopping them.
Turning back around, they looked down at Frollos pleading face, an almost manic look in his eyes.
“Stay… please… at least until I’ve fallen asleep..”
With wide eyes, (Y/N) looked down at him shocked, before sighing.
“Of course.. try to rest now.” They relented, taking a seat at the foot of Frollos bed. The others could wait.
Silence fell over the two, (Y/N) waiting patiently as a good 15 passed. Just when they thought he had fallen asleep a whisper escaped him,
“mon ange..”
And with that, sleep overtook Claude, no longer able to fight off his exhaustion. Warmth enveloping him as he dreamt of feather light touches and scrappy park attendants.
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Sorry if this feels forced or too OOC 😅, I just love Frollo so much, and taking care of others is my love language. When I tell you I need this man whimpering—
Translations:
“Pr- preces meæ non sunt.. dignæ Sed- sed tu bonus fac benigne, Ne perenni cremer igne…. Pie Iesu Domine,Dona ipse requiem…. Preces meæ non”:
My prayers are worthless, Yet, good Lord, graciously grant that I be not burned up by the everlasting fire. Lord, all-pitying, Jesus blest, Grant myself Thine eternal rest.
“Je ne peux plus faire ça— Je—“:
I can’t do this anymore—I can’t—
“mon ange..”:
My angel..
350 notes · View notes
queen-of-elves · 2 years
Text
Is this hell?
Niragi Suguru x fem!reader
Highschool AU(?)
Summary: the original idea post
Word count: 3,3K
Warnings: Niragi lol (not in like haha my babygirl but literally this man is psycho please beware so), bullying, mentioning of blood and violence, two or three mentionings of y/n, it's not proofread so I apologize for any kind of mistakes
A/N: I am not condoning any of Niragi’s actions, I too think he should rot in hell and his actions are unforgivable that being said this fanfiction purpose is not  to glorify etc anything about him plus it’s not meant to be in any sort a darkfic (I myself can’t read those.) btw I am also tagging some people who liked the post :))
*****
Part 1: highschool
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Since Suguru Niragi could remember, he was always a loser, always weaker than anyone else. Girls laughed at him and boys bullied him and if someone could actually handle looking at him, their face only showed pity. His school years were spent alone somewhere in a corner or just far away from potential troubles. There was a possible hope in going to high school in a completely different district but even that proved useless. Niragi still looked like a prey and if there is a prey, there is also a predator. So he would become as small as he could to hide but sometimes even that wasn’t enough.
These three boys picked on him since the first week of school, like if they could smell his fear, they preyed upon him, made the boy with glasses buy them snacks or lunches from his own allowance and would get pissed off at the end of the month if he didn’t have any money left for their cigarettes. And them getting pissed ment only one thing, punishment, in reality that was just an excuse to bully him harder than on the days the three boys were bored. Oftentimes the punishments were very unoriginal, that kind a child could come up with, other times the originality was astonishing, something no one in their sane mind would be able to come up with. Maybe the boys were just that, not mentally sane, or maybe an evil devoured them the moment they were born and so they did the same to others. An eye for an eye sort of thing.
By the last year of highschool Niragi couldn’t take it anymore, over the years his attempts for finding help ended in vain, no one was willing to stop them and in the end it was as if no one knew he was bullied, as if people didn’t notice his scared eyes and bruises. But Niragi didn’t know what was coming that day.
 The boys dragged him to the bridge and this time it was not only the main trio but also a few of his other classmates. All of them cheered while he became a target of their baseball practice. Maybe he did something to them today that made even those classmates of his participate, Niragi couldn’t be sure anymore. No, it didn’t matter actually, any kind of word as a reasoning now was just an excuse trying to justify the bully's behavior. The abuse was too much and he was almost on his tipping point.
“Ts, you move one more time and I will make you eat it again.” The bully swung the baseball bat again while glancing around him. “Rice with piss.” He was the type who throws their head back when laughing too much. Was making him eat it so funny? 
Suguru’s nose was bleeding. He could feel it before he tasted the coppery taste in his mouth and his vision was blurry, the first hit with a ball shattering his glasses on the ground. This had to be hell, purgatory or something, there had to be some divine reason, something to justify this torture. He hated himself, of course he did and through all of this pain a quick thought flashed in his mind. Maybe if he was in their position he would do the same, bully the weak.
“Yes? Oh, I would like to report fighting, they have (school name) uniforms, please be quick.” Niragi didn’t even realize that someone else was now watching him struggle to breathe, a girl in the same highschool uniform. Her voice sounded meak, scared and as if she was on the verge of tears, but she was standing like a picture of confidence with her eyes trained on one of the bullies. 
“The fuck do you think you are doing, eh?” One of the bullies started to yell, however the girl didn’t even flinch, she just calmly closed the flip phone, slipping it back into her jacket. Now that Niragi had time to fully adjust his vision, which was still very blurry, he realized who the girl was.  Not only was she another student from his highschool, she was one of his classmates from the same homeroom. Y/N, that was her name, she wasn’t a prominent figure in the school, not really significant like class president or something, but she was there and she was always quietly watching. She was the type Niragi aspired to be, someone who had friends and someone who gets invited to things like karaoke or dates. Dates, she probably got a loads of confessions, in no way was she the school idol but you had to be blind to think she wasn’t pretty. 
“I just reported you to the police, didn’t you hear? They are going to be here pretty soon.” Y/N was now laughing lightly and the whole group looked pissed, really pissed this time. What was she thinking, they were surely going to kill her for this. One of them ripped the baseball bat out of the grasp of the last one, ready to swing it at her.
“If I were you I wouldn’t do it.” Tight lipped smile slipped on her face, her eyes staring momentarily at him. “After all, if the police arrive and find me hurt or in a worse state… it would be just worse for all of you, wouldn’t it?” Her smile now contented many teeth, white with little yellow grinning at his abusers. Her cheeks raised, it was a genuine smile, she found this whole situation truly amusing.
By now the boys thought about the risk and decided that their little prey was not worth it, at least for now. “Whatever, bitch. Oi, boys, we are done here, let’s go for a drink.” The oldest commanded and all of them swiftly following his example started to walk away. Their departure also included some rude comments thrown at her and the last one, youngest of all of them, he was two grades below them and was very keen on becoming like them for some reason, readying punch in the air just to cease the action when the girl didn’t spare him even a glance. 
She was now staring at Niragi intensely, without blinking, and then she finally opened her mouth and said. “Suguru Niragi, right?” The boy could only nod to her question. Her gaze changed direction, now at his feet staring at something on the ground. That’s when Niragi got reminded again of his blurry vision, she was looking at his glasses before her eyes once again returned to his face. 
“Hey, Niragi… let’s be friends.” At that moment Niragi knew that those curious eyes actually looked at him, no pity, only interest beaming behind them.
And maybe his life was not a hell, maybe from now on it would get better.
**************
The bullying indeed got better, didn’t stop but got much more bearable with her by his side. She wasn’t by any means a sunshine person, most of the time she was silent, which made him incredibly nervous and twitchy, however, when she spoke it was always something interesting. The girl never showed interest when it came to boring things, instead it seemed that her head turned at anything slightly fascinating. It was in pure contrast with her appearance, a normal highschool girl that never got herself in trouble but always was witness to some. She really did have a knack for these kinds of situations.
So his new friend dragged him along, trouble never catching up to them out of pure luck or maybe it was like her superpower, that's what the boy always thought. After a few weeks of their friendship Niragi felt content, finally he had a light at the end of the tunnel, a safe spot for himself in the world. He didn’t yet realize that soon their paths would divide when it came to college and his sunny days could be over again. But for now he enjoyed her company, after all there was still at least 4 months before the graduation. 
Part 2: bordeland
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College was another new start and with the promise of keeping in touch with his now sort of, Niragi wasn’t still sure, best friend, he was ready for new experiences. The first few weeks were fine, school was fun again and it seemed that he made a few new friends along the way. He now got invited to parties and shared dinners and genuinely had a good time for such an introvert. 
However, his little bubble of happiness was meant to burst on one of the shared dinners after a long day of lectures. It was one of the days packed with long seminars and Niragi was ready to relax with his classmates over some good food and a bit of beer when it happened. They were sitting in the back of the restaurant, most of them already sporting one beer in hand when another group of people walked in. Loud and obnoxious yelling followed them and Niragi swore he recognized some of the voices. 
The now college student should have known better, he did know them, of course he did, they made his life miserable for what felt like an eternity. Those bullies that proved to him the awfulness of humankind. The only thing Niragi now hoped for was that they would not notice him, that they wouldn't recognize him but he hadn't changed at all. The same hair, the same kind of glasses and the same scared expression.
And then it happened, one of them turned and his gaze became trained on him, his before yelling face turned into a horrible grin. This guy loved to push young Niragi’s face into the toilet, that was his thing, he really wasn’t that original in the means of “punishment” but he was still part of the group and that defined trouble. 
“NO WAY!” His voice boomed through the restaurant, stopping the conversation at the table Niragi was sitting at. Most of his fellow classmates were now staring at the guy with confused or irritated expressions.
“Guys! Look who is there, Sugura Niragi.” His grin grew with these words and his friend’s attention was now at him, staring and waiting for any kind of elaboration. 
Niragi didn’t know where to look, if he looked into the restaurant, he could see what felt like thousand of eyes staring at him, if he looked around the table he would get confused looks expecting explanation and if he looked before him he would look into the eyes of one of the most hated people by him, so he stared blankly into his glass, hoping that all of this could just disappear. Maybe she could just magically appear and save him once again, more like a thousand times again actually.
“You know each othe-'' But before one of his classmates could finish the question the booming voice sounded again. “Know him? Of course. Didn’t he tell you?” The rest of the guys were now coming closer, also recognizing him. Their laugh was like tiny little needles poking him and their whispers turned his stomach. His current classmates now could hear about how pathetic he was in highschool and Niragi knew that it was back, it was there again, he felt small and stupid. Did the universe really hate him this much?
But this time Niragi had a choice, he could just leave and ignore it and so he did. He rushed out leaving the payment on someone else’s shoulders while dodging and kind of arms that tried to grab at him, keep him at the hellhole. He runned for what felt like hours, sprinting down the streets until he was sure there was no way one of them could follow him. He felt terrible and knew that sleep would not come this night to him and it truly didn’t. He layed in his bed for hours until exhaustion took him out with a sweet promise of blissful ignorance of the nightmare he again became part of. 
The next day was even more painful than the night before, he had to face his classmates and so when the time finally came and he had to approach someone, he chose Ayato. Ayato was always a smiling tall guy with slightly longer hair hiding the corners of his eyes and a mole under the right corner of his lips. He was a good guy, the kind of guy who would send you notes from the lecture if you asked him. However, now he looked like an instant death in Niragi’s eyes but there was no other choice than to talk to him.
“I wanted to pay you back, you probably had to pay for me when I suddenly left last night.” He couldn’t meet Ayato’s eyes, he couldn’t see in them how pathetic he was, not again, he couldn’t take it anymore. This was his burning point and there was no coming back.
“Yeah, don’t worry about it, man.” Ayato laughed and went back to rummaging through his backpack. Did he bother him, no, this was probably just a tactic on how to not have further conversation with him. Just appear busy and that pathetic loser Niragi will leave. Did they all really view him as pathetic? Fuck. They probably did. They must have laughed at him when he left with the whole group of his old classmates, his bullies. 
World really is cruel.
And this was the point when he decided to change and so over the following years his sorrow turned into anger, burning and scorching flame that alighted everything inside that was still alive and breathing, the rest of the hope. The little happy moments were not enough. For example, going to college? He fucking deserved it for all the shit he went through so he didn’t expect anything else than to get accepted into one. He also still maintained some sort of contact with Y/N, both of them got quite busy in college, however otherwise Niragi had isolated himself.
But oh, how he wished those guys that tormented him could see Niragi now, he changed, just like his hardened heart he hardened his appearance. Piercings adoring his face and tongue, silver glistering as warning signs. He looked like a danger, no more the prey look and nervous stare, he was to be feared now. And it wasn’t just his appearance, he became rough and cruel slowly becoming just like those he despised but he always justified it in his mind that it was for his own good.
And so came another punishment for his foolishness.
The gods really hate me, hm? That was his first thought at the empty streets of the city which he once found overly crowded. “Is this hell!?” His yelling echoing down the long corridors of empty sidewalks and alleys.
 It must have been days since he woke up in the silent city, he didn’t know what else to do now that there was no one, so he drank and drank all the alcohol he could find. And in one of his drunken moments they found him almost passed out in one of the dirty alleys near Shibuya. At first he didn’t want to go with them, too drunk out of his mind to understand what they were telling him, but they grabbed him and… that's all he could remember, he probably passed out. 
When Niragi woke up his head was pounding and his throat felt sore but all of that was swept under the rug with the realization that under him were soft white sheets instead of harsh pavement. Slowly, as he could manage without his head shooting needles in it, he sat up upon the bed, he really was in a clean room, a hotel room but any kind of thinking was stopped with the hotel room’s door opening. This uninvited guest sported a kimono and sunglasses were obscuring his eyes. 
“You must be the newbie, let me welcome you properly at The Beach, the only paradise in The Borderland.” The man was grinning widely and Niragi was sure of his interior motive but who gives a damn, he was the first person he had a proper conversation with in days. 
And so his career as a player for beach and handsman for Aguni began.
Working for The Beach was on most days such a great fun, but it was as if Niragi slowly forgot that this was also real and just submitted to his dark thoughts full of violence and blood. He stopped caring about consequences or what was morally right, nothing mattered in his world to him and he verified it through the actions of others. He met vile criminals and monsters in the disguises of people here and in the real world too, so what was the difference if he joined in, in this utopia of sin.
But it was the moment he was beating up some guy, he didn’t even break any rule, he just pissed Niragi with his stupid face, that he noticed them. She was there, she was also inside this horrible nightmare, staring in shock at him with hand covering her open mouth. Y/N must have recognized him, there was no way she couldn’t, if someone could recognize him, it would be her, solely her. He didn’t see her face to face since his change, they only texted and called each other via phone, she must have thought it was because he got so busy but maybe inside, he knew he didn’t want her to see what he had become. Suguru Niragi really thought that their next meeting would be different, that those same eyes would look into his with the same adoration and curiosity it once held but there was none of it.
And there was no excuse for his actions, he could see that now and even though his anger still buried the vast amount of guilt, he was a bad person, he was sure of it. And he knew it for a very long time but there was no denying it now. Another punishment from the gods staring right at him in the form of a pretty lady he had a long history with. And maybe there was no worse cruelty than this, knowing even through all this hardship he received all his life, he could have a good life if he had chosen to be a good person from the start.
Too late to change my path.
In the end the anger always wins over guilt that has to be buried or you will be buried yourself. Niragi used to strongly believe in this conviction but now he felt like a little school boy again, pitiful glances piercing right through him, however this time it was much more meaningful. Here it wasn’t just strangers, it was someone he trusted and they stared inside him with shocked expression. He wondered what she saw, probably someone filled with anger and filth covered in blood, someone she couldn’t handle to look at. It was the same over again but this time different and caused by his own actions, so fully justified. There really isn't any way to redeem himself anymore.
Tag list: @enslique @retirement-home @k-1-ll-em-all @urnotahotdad @cantthinkofauserlololol @nervousbasementtimemachine @verydownbadforchishiya @ksjo @antitoon @ninjacups @169cmy @lanasworld-96 @llynx7 @itsccc @benhardygalileo @hjyksgf @solintaire @fluffyandsquishy
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commonguttersnipe · 1 year
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Fanart of Aggie, Jim & Ernie from BTDPR!
(this time I did it on my sketchbook using a pencil as the starting outline and a uniball pen for the final outline & the finishing touches!)
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(btw, sorry for the camera quality on the Ernie picture, my phone camera was blurry on this one for some reason, so please excuse the poor quality!!)
AGGIE HAD A SCRUNCHIE.
I REPEAT. AGGIE HAS A SCRUNCHIE.
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TW= child sexual assualt(?)
Looking for advice and validation ig
I'm not sure if this counts as sa, I want to know if it does count. When I was around 7years old, when I would lay in bed, sometimes my mom would take my pants off and touch,kiss and suck my private parts (I'm a girl btw). I thought it was normal so I let her do it. When she do it she would say that she's sad cuz she won't be able to do this anymore when I grow up, and bc of that she should do it alot rn. My family is very physically affectionate so no one thought it was unusual. Also my memory of this happening is blurry and not vivid, but I'm a 100% sure this happened a lot. I don't know if I'm just overreacting. Now she doesn't do that to me anymore but she still touches my butt even when I constantly ask her not to do it. She said she can do whatever she wants cuz she's my mom. She does the same thing she did to younger me to my younger brother rn, and it makes me really uncomfortable. Can u tell me if this is normal or not? It made me really uncomfortable and even now I'm afraid to change in front of people cuz I'm afraid they might do that to me.
Thank you so much if u answer this, yall are amazing 💓
- 💛
Hi 💛,
I'm so sorry about what happened and please know that her behavior is not normal or okay at all. It's one thing to be physically affectionate but this is much more than that. This can count as CSA, and it's understandable that it made you uncomfortable and anxious.
Consent is crucial in any physical interaction, including within family relationships. No one should engage in any form of sexual contact without your consent, and it's concerning that your boundaries are not being respected, even now. Just because she's your mother doesn't entitle her to your body, especially in a sexual way.
I also want to just point out that while it seems that your family may normalize this kind of behavior, that doesn't make it okay. Language creates ways of thinking and perceiving and so it can be hard to notice or name abusive behavior when the people around us don't frame it negatively. But it's important to know that abusers or those that harm others can be surrounded by people who enable said abuse, and so just because people might excuse this behavior, doesn't make it right.
Please know that you have the right to feel safe and respected in your own body. It's not your fault, and you deserve support and understanding. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist can help you navigate and process your experiences, as well as develop healthy coping strategies.
I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.
-Bun
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shay-the-writer · 2 years
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Artwork by Shay
Back in the spring of 2019, I was itching to do some writing, despite an already-growing backlog of fanfics and original works collecting dust on paper and in computer files. So, I found a few books at the library. Along the way, I found an art prompt books called The Sketchbook Challenge. It gave the reader 12 themes: Circles, Dwellings, Elements, Everyday Objects, Messages, Patterns & Grids, Rhythm, Simple Pleasures, Symbols, Treasure, Vistas & Views, and Weathered Beauty. The book offers examples of each theme and for the reader to create whatever they please with each theme.
Starting in June of that year, I set each theme to every week for 12 weeks. I also tried to set myself a writing schedule for each day. The writing thing barely made it a month because it started to feel more like an obligation rather a desire to write anything. There was no creativity coming out of my brain when I tried to write. So, I started to hate it. I then gave up on doing the writing prompts. If I wanted to write something, it would be of my own choosing (whatever my attention span decided to focus on at any given time) and on my own time, no schedule. But I did manage to stick it out with the art. I planned in advance on what I would make for each theme each week. Not everything turned out the way it was pictured in my head, but at least it got done. And, some of the projects I ended up liking.
Below are some of the projects I made. Some are not pictured either because I lost them or I didn’t like them. Please excuse any blurriness. I have a mostly steady hand, though not always. But my phone can’t take a clear picture, no matter what I tried to do.
Since that summer, I haven’t done much art (and very little writing, for that matter). I tried earlier 2022 to do something and be productive. It didn’t work. I even cultivated (over time) and number of arts & crafts prompts (along with those 12 previous themes), as well as many writing prompts. I’m going to try and be productive (not by force) with both art and writing this new year. And, work at my own pace. I may, from time to time, post anything I do finish here.
… I’m also doing this because the pictures have been on my phone and computer for a bit and I’m trying to clear some space on both devices.
Dwellings. The world inside my brain. I like fairy tales and fantasies. One drawback, the sword behind the door should've gone elsewhere (it blends in too much). Notice the Once Upon a Time bits.
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Elements. Take 2 because the first idea got ruined by vegetable oil. This was done on very short notice so it looks like a kid's artwork.
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Everyday Objects. An HP-inspired wand, because that's totally an everyday object.
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Messages. The first Message cube is made of air-dry clay (it's cracking now btw) of various quotes. The second was questionable wood, so the third is a make-up of it after I was able to acquire a decent wood block.
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Rhythm. This is one of the ones I liked.
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Simple Pleasures. An air-dry Reese's cup (a little thinner than intended), and a Dorito and logo.
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Symbols. A rainbow flag.
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Treasure. A painted wood treasure chest I gave to my mom.
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and Vistas & Views. Space.
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gatorbites-imagines · 2 years
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Hey! I really enjoy your work, especially “Party of one, two, three?”, and I was wondering if I could please request a part 2 to that if not thats fine! I just really liked it and am excited to see more of your work in the future! Thank you! And I apologize for how awkward I am this is my first time making a request 😅
Party of one, two, three? 
 Part 2
 Pre-serum Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes x FTM reader
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I still know very little about the time period and how things worked for the lgbtq in Brooklyn around WW2. I’m basing what I know off of things I’ve read and videos I’ve watched.
Features period typical homophobia and transphobia and things like that.
Steve and Bucky know Y/N is trans btw.
 This isn’t as good as part one, but I hope you like it anyways.
Steve and Y/N split ways when they came to the taller of the two’s apartment, which wasn’t saying much since they were both similar in height. Y/N waved his friend off using his cap, taking it off his head to flick it about like one would when one the train and you had half your body out the windows. Steve shot his friend a small smile and gave his own way before he kept walking.
Y/N watched his blonde friend for a short while, before crawling the long agonizing way up to his apartment. The burning in his ribs and chest having seemingly doubled on the walk home. The man cursed to himself as he stumbled, having to lean against the wall as his vision started swimming and his lungs protested quite violently. He coughed a few times before forcing himself to keep moving, deciding he would let himself collapse when he got inside.
And collapse he did. When he got inside his apartment, Y/N shucked off his hat, his coat, and was only out of one of his boots before he flopped onto the sorry excuse of a couch he owned, and let the darkness take him. He knew some of the people who were like him would give him a reaming for not removing the many layers of wrap around his chest, but Y/N never felt quite himself without it, it felt as if he was a fraud, the very thing his parents and school bullies picked on him for, when he was just “a confused girl”.
When Y/N finally came too once more, it was to the sound of banging on his front door. He couldn’t seem to get his eyes to focus, and everything sounded like he was under water. Y/N felt sweaty and clammy in his clothes, and his ribcage protested if he took more than a small inhale. He heard voices outside his door, and if he was in any clearer state of mind, he would have realized it was his two dear friends, Steve and Bucky.
The lock could be heard as a key was put in and turned, and suddenly the door was open. Y/Ns sluggish mind reminded him that his friends both owned copies of his house key, just as Y/N owned theirs, just in case of emergencies. The man struggled to lift his head, and when he got it slightly upright it felt as if all blood rushed up and he collapsed back onto the couch again.
When Y/N opened his eyes again, it was to the blurry image of Bucky leaning over him, his mouth moving like he was talking. He felt hands patting his cheeks as if to wake him up, and soon Steve appeared, wiping Y/Ns sweaty face with a cold wet washcloth. Y/N wheezed softly as his vision cleared up enough that he could focus on their faces, guilt gnawing at his insides at the scared and worried expressions on the faces of the two men whom he loved more than he should.
There was some moving them, and Bucky had to pull Y/N into a sitting position, grabbing onto the shorter male’s shirt as he almost fell forward right off the couch. He could hear Steve and Bucky speaking above him, the words wrapping, tight, breathing passing through the haze that was still over him. Y/N shut his eyes, wanting to just lean against Bucky’s broad frame and go back to sleep.
Steve suddenly got off the couch, and Bucky moved Y/N around till the shorter man was sat between the brunettes’ thighs. Y/N gave a small groan at the sudden movement, and he grabbed at Bucky’s wrists clumsily as his friend started undoing the buttons of his shirt. If it was any other time, Y/N would be throwing his hat into the air and dancing, but as of now he wasn’t focused enough to truly realize what was happening.
The shirt had been unbuttoned and was halfway removed when Steve returned, in his hand a pair of larger fabric scissors. It had been a gift from Steve’s mother when Y/N was younger, so that he could cut and adjust any clothes he bought. Bucky pulled off the last of the faded button up and threw it to the floor.
It was first when he and Steve in a display of teamwork started rolling up the sweaty undershirt Y/N was wearing, when his dehydrated and whoozy mind seemed to catch up. He gave a jolt, trying to struggle against the two pairs of hands on him, not that it did much as he just gave a few twitches and leant to the side, where Bucky caught him and pulled him upright again, causing Y/N to fall back against the built chest of the brunette.
Tears gathered in his eyes as Y/N felt the undershirt be pulled over his head, the wrongness of his two friends seeing him feeling suffocating. Y/N wanted to throw up as Steve looked at the many layers of bandages wrapped tightly around his friend’s ribcage. It felt like he was being peeled open and dissected like some kind of lab creature, and a strangled sob escaped Y/Ns chest as Steve took the scissors and started cutting the layers that had been strangling the man since last night.
An ugly choked noise left Y/N as the bandages were removed and thrown off to the side, his still weak hands coming up to cover himself as he shut his eyes, not wanting to see the disgusted or horrified expressions of the two men’s faces.
Tears kept running down his face as Y/Ns thoughts spiralled, his lip wobbling as he tried to curl in on himself. A pair of hands cradled his face, causing him to open his eyes and meet the blue that were Steve’s eyes. There was no disgust, only worry. He spoke softly, as if trying to calm the crying man down, the scrawny man wiping away a tear with his thumb.
A flush rose to Y/Ns cheeks at the intimate touch, and he almost jolted right out of his skin as he felt lips press a kiss to his shoulder, a pair of larger workers hands rubbing at his hipbones. “S-steve, Buck… what… what are you doing?” Y/N whimpered, eyes still misty.
“We… talked yesterday. When we got home. We were gonna tell you this morning, but when you weren’t answering the door we got worried.” Steve confessed, eyes falling to the floor in embarrassment, a blush being very visible on the pale blondes’ face.
“Yeah sweetheart. When we saw you on the couch like that? I don’t think I’ve been that scared before.” Bucky murmured behind you, pressing another kiss against your naked shoulder. He almost sounded small as he said what he did, Bucky pressing his face into the side of your neck.
“We´re sorry we forced the binding off like that, but you were really out of it Y/N, you know how dangerous it is” Steve commented, voice going up a few octaves at the mention of the danger. Fresh tears sprung to Y/Ns eyes at the reminder, the man lowering his face and breaking the eye contact hed had with Steve.
“I’m… I’m sorry, I just” Y/N choked out, struggling to find words to really express how he was feeling. “You don’t have to tell us Y/N, just please… if it gets bad just tell us, okay?” was Bucky’s reply, his lips brushing against the skin of Y/Ns neck. His voice was shaky like he was struggling not to cry.
Steve leant forward and pressed a kiss to Y/Ns forehead. “Just try and catch your breath, okay? Cough if you need too, and when you feel better, we´ll talk about all of this” he muttered, tucking in close to Y/Ns front, his hands falling to wrap loosely around both Y/N and Bucky. Y/N rested his head against the small shoulder of Steve, taking in a deep breath and inwardly cringing at the flem like sound he could hear and feel from his chest.
Y/N shut his eyes again, but this time it was to focus on breathing, the man holding onto the connection between him and the two men whom he loved, using it to ground him. As soon as he could breath without issue, he had to ask about the kisses, and maybe this time he could allow himself to flush and even kiss them back instead of crying all over them.
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tobi-momo · 4 years
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A Misunderstanding
PAIRING: Kuroo Tetsurou x Reader
GENRE: Angst | Hurt/Comfort | Reverse Comfort
WARNINGS: a lot of crying from both you and kuroo | cursing | mentions of sex | cheating (kind of? youll know when reading) | angst | mentions of drinking/being drunk | nothing is suggestive!! oh ya yall are married btw
WORD COUNT: 3k
A/N: ok ik this is long but this idea came from literally nowhere but i decided to write it thank you @combat-wombatus for helping me you helped put ideas in my brain<333 now i wasnt originally going for a happy ending but im really bad at angst so enjoy the shitty ending :)
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“Please, Y/n, you know I didn't mean it,” he pleaded, his large hands desperately grabbing at your form while you push him away, your breaking sobs making his heart shatter. “Please, baby, don’t leave me,” he begs, falling on his knees in front of your trembling body, not being able to tear his eyes off of your heartbroken ones. He needed you to stay. He needed to show you that he isn’t that guy and that he would do anything for you. It was a one time thing. He wasn’t even sober. It wasn’t him. It was the alcohol. He wasn’t thinking straight. Please forgive him, please, please, please.
But you couldn’t. No matter how hard or how much you loved him and wanted to, the pain that ripped at your heart every time you looked at him was too much to bear. So you didn’t. You turn your blurry, glassy eyes away from him as he grabs your hand and forces it into his; your lips quivering and knees shaking. You couldn’t keep the betrayal and agony inside, whining and weeping at him, your knees giving out before your legs slam against the floor, your head near the carpet as you try and keep your affliction at bay.
“Y/n, please,” he whines, tears streaming down his pale cheeks; his admission of his unfaithfulness drained the color from his face. “Please forgive me, I need you, I love you so much.”
“W-” you sniffle, not knowing what to say. You knew you didn’t have to say anything at all, that you didn’t owe him any words, but you just...you just needed to know. “Why,” your voice quivered and cracked, your throat sore, “why did you,” you take a long breath, grabbing your chest to try and stop the heartache, the sudden cramp that formed where it used to be filled with warmth and love, “do this to me? With her?” You look up at him once with wide, searchful eyes as you ponder the reasons and look for the answers in his empty pupils.
“I wasn’t thinking straight, baby, I didn’t know what I was doing, please,” his voice stammers, trying to get you to understand that he really didn’t know what he was doing. “I would never do this to you, I-” “But you did.” Your tone is no longer sad and confused, but angry and fed up. His head backing up quickly, not expecting the response. “You made a promise, Tetsurou, remember?” You glare at him with menacing eyes as you hold up the very finger he kissed and placed the ring on on your wedding day. The beautiful diamond ring that had his initials carved in the interior and little gorgeous jewels that made the walls sparkle once hit with the hot sun was no more; the dark, gloomy piece of rock and metal meaning nothing but lies and mistrust.
“No, Y/n, please. Don’t do this to me,” he adjures guiltily.
“Don’t do this to you?” Your voice laced with deadly venom, standing and backing up, wiping your mouth with your hand in annoyance, placing it on your hip. “You did this to me! You did this to us! You went out! You got drunk! You fucked someone else! And not even a random girl! No! You just had to fuck your ex!” Your voice cracked again before you inhaled sharply and covered up your struggle.
“Y/n, I didn’t know what I was doing!”
“And that’s an excuse?? What, so now you can go fuck whoever you want and say ‘I didn’t know what I was doing!’” you mimic, “so you can get away with it every time?”
He didn’t answer. He looked at the ground, understanding exactly where you came from.
“Hm? Are you gonna answer me, or sit there like a coward?”
He could tell fully well you were just saying this because you were hurt. You didn’t mean any of it. You loved him. No matter what, you will always love him. Trusting him was out of the box for a while, maybe forever. But he can’t lose you. He knew you were soulmates- he knew you were made for each other. There was a reason you guys made it this far and only had big problems now. He needed to find that reason and use it for himself to win you back. He needed you back.
“I’m sorry,” he apologizes, your dramatic hand gestures coming to a halt at his words, your figure coming to a stand still as you wait for him to finish. “You don't deserve this. You don’t deserve me. Please know that it was a mistake and that I’ll never do it again ever, ever, ever,” he repeats, wanting it to sound as sincere as he means. “Just please give me a chance to make this up to you, please don’t leave me by myself without you,” he sobs out, putting his head in his hands.
You knew you shouldn’t feel bad for him. But god-fucking-dammit are you feeling bad for him. You knew you still loved him, you knew he still loved you- that much was obvious. You couldn’t see him for a while, no. Could you guys work it out? Maybe stitch the wound? Wait until the scar is barely visible anymore? Would that even work?
“Tetsurou,” a single, hot tear dripping down your face as you point to the ground. “I don’t know if I can ever trust you again.”
“I know, I know, just please give me a chance to help fix this!” He cries at your feet, his body bundled in a ball of self hatred and guilt. “I can do it, baby. I can help things go back to normal.”
“I don’t think they ever will be normal again.”
He whines, trying to negotiate with you as much as he can. “Let me fix us. Let me give you my everything again, let me show you that I’m all yours and no one else's, please,” he moans in anticipation for rejection, knowing the chances of you agreeing were next to zero.
The next few hours are silent. Him alone in the bedroom. Crouching on the floor as he ponders your possible answer. You work in the kitchen, making food to satisfy your appetite. He could hear your sniffles from the bedroom and picture you wiping your tears as you carry the pots on the stove. God, he was the biggest piece of shit ever known. What the fuck went through his mind when he was fucking his ex? He only remembers some of it, them waking up in bed together after, only wearing undergarments underneath the sheets and him holding her waist as if she were you. He thought they had ended on good terms, knowing that they were better as friends. He rushed out the door, not being able to stay in the same room without getting sick. He knew what he had to do.
He opens the door to the living room, a slight creak gaining your attention as you stir the sauce in the pan. Your eyes are puffy, your lip still trembling as you try to turn away from him. He only takes about two steps forward before he stops, trying to find the words he wants to say.
“Listen, I know you said you needed time, and I’m not rushing you at all whatsoever. I want to give you all the time in the world to think this over. If you need, I can go to Kou’s house and stay there for a while. He won’t mind. I just want to give you the space you deserve.”
You nod in response, your head still facing away before he whispers an “I love you” before he slips out of the apartment.
~.~.~.~
The next few days were tortue. Not being able to sleep in the same bed he would sleep in with you, not being able to watch the same tv shows, not being able to even be in his presence at least once a day like you used to melted a hole of despair inside you: eating away at your emptiness, taking away the numbness that you so desperately needed right now. The feeling came back- the one that you tried shutting out three hours ago. It crept up at you, flipping your stomach and weighing your lungs down to the floor, your throat sore and dry. Your eyes wet with a blurry wall as your tears build up once again, missing your cheeks as you crouch down looking at the floor, falling on the tile. The droplets containing your anguish splatter on the ground, your raggedy whimpers echoing throughout the vacant apartment, making it all the more obvious he wasn’t there.
Knock knock knock
Was that the door?
Your wide, unbelieving eyes turned to the wooden door frame; the knocks getting louder and faster. You quickly stand up and try to collect yourself, preparing to have a long talk with Tetsurou. You grab the handle, turning it- the door opening with a tiny creak.
Oh.
“Hi! Kuroo left his jacket at the party the other day, is he here?”
Oh, that bitch.
“No. He’s not.” You deadpan, not finding her cheery, happy expression amusing.
“Oh no! Uh, well, here, can you give this back to him for me?”
“Stop smiling at me like you aren’t part of the reason he’s gone.” You snark, glaring at her with sharp eyes as she backs up, confused.
“W-what?”
“You heard me. Don’t act fucking clueless.”
“Excuse me? Who are you to talk to m-”
“Oh, cut the shit,” you roll your eyes, “I know you slept with Tetsurou, you don’t need put on whatever the fuck this is,” you gesture at her.
“What the hell are you talking about? What are you, fucking crazy?” Your eyes narrow in confusion, your disgusted scowl lessening at her words.
“Right. You probably don’t remember because you were blacked out,” you add sarcastically. “He told me what you guys did. Now you know. So, I would love it if you would just leave.”
“What are you- Me and Kuroo didn’t do shit last night. I drank like two beers and was hanging out with another girl the entire time,” she explains, looking offended. Your face loosens into an expression she couldn’t read. “He blacked out early and passed out on the couch while I was busy talking with the other girl.”
“Huh?” You whisper, your disoriented thoughts not aligning to a proper conclusion.
“I didn’t go to bed until like,” she thought back, “I don’t know, three in the morning? There were people passed out on the floor so I decided to take the guest bedroom with her. I was still awake when Kuroo came into the room, I’m guessing because he thought it was yours, based off of how he kept mumbling your name and shit,” she exhales, “he grabbed onto me once he got in and just clung.” You glower at her, huffing. She sees this, sighing before continuing, “Calm down, remember nothing happened. Remember that girl? She ended falling off the bed because I was scooting away from his clingy ass.” You look at her blankly, trying to fit the pieces together. “She ended up leaving the party completely,” she mumbled in embarrassment before you speak up.
“Then why did he tell me you guys had sex?” You mutter quietly, although assuming she heard since her head backed up while she quickly scoffs.
“I swear to God, that man. Listen.” You look up into her eyes- her genuine eyes. “Me and Kuroo didn’t do a single thing. I didn’t do anything to him and he didn’t do anything to me. I’ll have a conversation with him later because he is an absolute dumbass,” she breathed.
What the fuck?? You were just supposed to believe her?
“How am I supposed to believe that?”
“Me and him ended a long time ago. I don’t like him like that and I haven’t for a while. And seeing he was bragging about you the entire time at the party, he’s over me, too. Besides, I’m not even into guys that much anymore anyways,” she grinned and winked at you. The shock and realization hit you like a truck. She wasn’t even- oh my God. She chuckled at your expression; you ran away from her to the counter to get your phone, quickly unlocking it and tapping on Tetsurou’s contact.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,” you mumble over and over. To tap the call button, listening to it ring as you bring your phone up to your ear, hearing him pick up the phone almost immediately after.
“Y/n? Are you okay?” He sounded worried. It’s only been about a week, he had hoped that you weren’t going to leave him.
“Get over here, right now, Tetsurou.” Your voice made it seem like it was urgent, so he quickly picked up his jacket from the couch, and you could hear the jingling of his keys as he grabbed them and opened the door, almost slamming it shut once he left.
~.~.~.~
“Y/n?” He asked at the open front door, wondering why it wasn’t closed. “Y/n, you have to be careful and close the door, we have them for a reason, you know,” he said as he walked in. Even after being at the line of a break-up, he still cares for your well-being. He didn’t even do anything wrong and he was still caring for you as a loved one should. He always did everything to make you feel comfortable and safe, so once he knew that he had slept with his ex he was completely devastated to his core. He didn’t want to do this to you, but you had the right to know.
“Tetsu.” You called. Already back to nicknames? This is good, right?
“Yes? Y/n?” He was scared, to say the least, feeling awkward and not knowing what to do. He walked scarcely towards your figure sitting on the couch, not caring to drop his keys and jacket on the counter. He had a feeling this might go wrong.
“We need to talk.” Shit. This is exactly what he didn’t want to hear. Hearing those words he couldn’t help but think that you were going to make him pack his stuff and go. “So, I talked with your ex.” You speak slowly, not wanting your words to come out wrong. You don’t want him to take any of this in a bad way at all. Yet his eyes widen drastically, his heartbeat racing and his nerves pricking him. “You are just one big dummy, aren’t you?”
What? What are you talking about?
“What?”
“You didn’t sleep with her. She told me everything that happened that night. She’s not even into guys anymore. Tetsu-”
This couldn’t be happening. Not only did he accuse himself of cheating, he accused himself of cheating with his ex, and that he cheated with his ex at a party, while you two are married. And then it turns out it wasn’t true? What the hell was wrong with him? He jeopardized your entire relationship because he was too drunk to know what was going on.
“Wait, what?” He yells, angrily sitting down on the couch, “so you’re telling me-” you nodded and hummed an ‘mhm’ in response. His hands find their way to his hair, pulling at the roots and scratching his scalp, his low grunts of pain and fury seeping out of his throat as he frustratingly comprehends what he just did.
You rush over to him, grabbing his wrists and pushing them down to his lap as fast as you can, making his eyes find their way to your blown out pupils. You can see the hot tears prickle down his cheek as he frowns at you, completely and utterly defeated.
“Tetsu, I don’t want you to hurt yourself, it’s okay,” you reassure, giving him a happy smile. He wanted to smile back, but he couldn’t control the broken sob that escaped him. “Hey, hey,” you try to grab his attention as he pulls his head down, crying. “It’s okay, baby, it’ll be okay.” You wrap your arms around his head, protecting him as you softly coo and ‘shh’ him quietly in his ear. ‘I’m sorry’ kept coming out of his mouth as he clinged to you, not being able to help his want to be closer to you. The realization that he just almost broke your heart completely and he had worried about divorce for this shit made him want to just rip his scalp out. He was so stupid. So, so so, stupid. “Tetsu, look at me, please. Look at me,” you whisper, bringing your hand to his chin, dragging it up so you could catch sight of his hazel irises. His eyes red and puffy, his cheeks wet and his eyes droopy, you couldn’t do anything but frown at the sight. He hated himself right now, not wanting to face the embarrassment and the humiliation of the situation.
“You don’t deserve me, I’m so sorry,” he whimpered in your arms, gripping them tighter and tighter for comfort- you knowing that he needed it right now. You had already pulled him into your chest, feeling his wet tears soak your shirt, your hands rubbing his back and your fingers gently grazing his throbbing scalp.
“It’s okay, I forgive you, Tetsu, you did the right thing by telling me you did it instead of hiding it from me, and then it turns out you didn’t do it at all.” Your cheeks start to feel hot, and you don’t even realize your sniffles until you could feel a dam break at your water line. You couldn’t stop them, the tears of relief. You didn’t want to stop them. You were glad that they were her, glad that they were for him, glad they were because you knew the truth, glad because you knew you two would be okay.
You looked back at your ring, watching it bloom like a flower in the spring, the meaning coming back to your marriage. It wasn’t just metal and rock anymore, it was a gorgeous promise.
“I love you, Tetsurou. Don’t forget that. You’re staying with me, alright?” you whisper into his hairline.
“Thank you,” he cries.
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taglist: @solar3lunar @flattykawadoorusmilkbread @toosharkinternet @hitosushi @alpha3113 @awmahleebkg
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REQUESTS: OPEN
reblogs are appreciated :))
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jinxthighz · 3 years
Note
I don’t know if you were planning on doing a second part to ‘Save Me’ but please do😩. I’m going absolutely mental I love it sm.
Btw if completely fine if you don’t want to, just wanted to show sum love lol
I’m doing it! And thank you so much! I’m happy you’re enjoying it.
First chapter here:
Save Me Pt.2
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When you woke up everything was blurry. Your body ached and your head throbbed painfully. Groaning, you sat up. It was dark, lit up by candles and glow in the dark paint. A girl hunched over a desk, bright sparks flying from both sides. 
You didn’t make a sound. Afraid of how she would react. You silently look over your body, bandages layering almost every inch of your skin. You notice little neon doodles on the bandages, overlapping to your skin. You were covered by a short sweater, and nothing else, you internally blush at the though of being stripped naked. But quickly let it go. You clear your throat, but judging by the girls reaction or rather lack there of, she didn’t quite hear you.
“E-Excuse me?” The girl immediately straightens her back, turning to you with a bright smile. Goggles covered her eyes, strands of blue hair whisking back and forth elegantly as she swayed in her chair.
“Hiya!” The girl waved at you, taking her goggles off and chucking them on her desk as she stood. Walking to you, her hair swayed. It was almost hypnotic in a way. Her hair moved so fluidly, like water on still sand. The closer she came, the more your anxiety increased.
She stopped in front of you, bending over to meet your unfocused gaze. You immediately recognized her as the pretty girl that watched you die. Or, not die? Your head is still a bit fuzzy. 
“You’re a really heavy sleeper. You know that?” You blinked yourself back into reality. The way she speaks to you so casually was throwing you off a bit.
“I am?” She hums in response, nodding her head. Her eyes going over the bandages she had recently laid.
Gods her eyes are gorgeous.
“Did you do this?” You pointed at your bandages.
“Yep.”
“Thank you.”
You both sat in silence for a while. Analyzing each other’s features. You were so enamored by her that when she brought her hand to your face you visibly flinched away. This didn’t seem to stop her as she just folded her fingers through your hair, moving the strands away from your face.
What is she thinking about?
“Who left you?” You didn’t know how to respond. She spoke to you like you were a wounded animal. As if you were cringing away in fear and she had to softly coerce you out. You silently went through your memories. Your heart ached, pierced through with a needle of contempt. Would it be a risk to not tell her? Even though you probably couldn’t speak of it again. Your gut twisted, telling you say everything you went through. Even though she was a stranger. You couldn’t help it. You felt uneasy, but couldn’t risk it.
“Someone I thought I could trust. But I was wrong.” Your eyes shifted to the floor, defensively unable to look her in the eye. Your hair reverting back to its natural state, falling and covering your face again. She tilted her head, trying to meet your eyes under all of that hair.
“Someone left me too.” You looked up, hair parting slightly.
“Is that why you helped me?” She didn’t answer right away. It seems like she was trying to figure out why herself.
“Maybe…” Oh. She was getting close now. You moved your face to the side, flustered. She straightened herself, holding out a hand. You looked at her hand, then looked at her. You took it.
“It doesn’t matter now. What’s your name?” She had on her smile, which always seemed to throw you off.
“Y/n.”
“Cool. I’m Jinx.” She pulled you harshly, seemingly forgetting you’re wounded, to a desk. She sat you down in her chair and perched herself up on her desk. You swallow down a groan with every movement, your legs unprepared.
“I need for you to get better soon, okay?” You look at her, an eyebrow raised.
“Um. Why?” It’s not a weird thing to say, sure. But you barely know each other. And her choice of words confused you. She needs for you to get better. But why? She leans forward, her face twisted in a smirk. You couldn’t even lean back, her breath fanning your face as her hand rested on the back of the chair.
“It’s no fun telling you now.” She just loves getting close and personal doesn’t she. She uses her other hand to twist your hair around her finger. She tilts her head, a brow going up to continue to fluster you.
She giggles, “you’re doing great, toots.”
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dollymadness · 3 years
Note
I have request: bakugo, tamaki, mirio reacting to reader yelling at them. Make it angsty. Pls. Hi btw. 👀
heyy muah 😽
mirio togata (x abusive reader)
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"Hi, sunshine!" Mirio was late for the date. Again.
"Where were you?" You ask, with a extremely polite tone, and his eyes already loose all the light they had when he saw you.
"I'm sorry, darling, Eri wanted to play a little more and i-"
"And again you choose her over me, right? I'm starting to figure out your priorities in life." You insist on the calm, low way to say your words, and stare at him with murder eyes.
"She is a little girl... i love her as... as a daughter. H-how can you say something like that..." Mirio is starting to breakdown, starting to doubt his own feelings.
"I'm being realistic." You grab his arm and stick your nails deep on his skin. "She is not your daughter, and you'll never be able to cover the emptiness she already holds. Only a fool like you to think that she could ever see you as a father figure... All you do is be clingy and annoying around her!" Togatas eyes drops to the ground and he plays with the sleeve of his shirt to avoid the tears.
"It's ok if she does not see me like that..." He offers you a depressed smile. "All i want is to ease her pain, even if it's just a little. And i need to take care of her-"
"Of course... guess i'm just overeacting again, sorry. I don't need your attention and support as she does..." You know exactly what to say to put some guilt on his back.
"No-no, don't say that! Your feelings are important to me too, and i'm so sorry that i let you down again, i swear i won't repeat this..."
"Tsc... the same thing you said last time. And here we are, having the same discussion... you're so dumb i swear-"
"I'm sorry... let's just... enjoy our date?"
"Hah- Funny how you say that you care but try to avoid the topic at all costs."
"I'm- fuck, how could i be so unsensitive...? do it, tell me everything you are feeling. I promise i'll fix."
"Don't make promises you can't keep. The only thing that could solve this problem would be you let go of this... this... stupid child!" You stop the pressure on his arm and start gentle massaging the place. "It's between me and her. I won't take excuses this time."
"But, but..." Mirio take a moment to think of the best words choice. "Eri makes me so happy... after i lost my quirk my days has been only her... she helps me to forget too..."
"DO I LOOK LIKE I CARE?" The tone makes him focus on you again.
"No..."
"SHUT UP. SHUT THE FUCK UP!" You point an accusing finger to his face and straight your posture.
Before talking again, you take a good, long, amused look at how destroyed he is. A tiny smile emerges.
"I don't have time to your FUCKING VICTMISM! 'After i lost my quirk' *cry noises* THAT'S BULLSHIT. DEAL WITH IT! RECOVER ALREADY, USELESS PIECE OF SHIT!" You push him.
"You're right..." Togata feels like an idiot. Why can't he just surpass the pain? Why does he need someone to do it? He has one simple task and he keeps failing.
Useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless, useless...
"DID I SAY THAT YOU COULD FUCKING SPEAK?" You aren't done with him yet. "WHY ARE YOU SO ANNOYING? YOU... SELFISH BITCH! Can't you think of others feelings for once? Damn..."
Mirio is taking everything you give him with a fake smile, but he can't stop the tears. You're right, you always are.
Is his fault. If only he had make to the date in time, if he was able to not always talk about himself-
"ANSWER ME NOW, UNWANTED TRASH!"
"I'm being so s-selfish..." The tears empaze his words in a way that would be painful to anyone that watched, but not for you. Tears mean that you won. "I apologize for being uncapable to solve my own problems... Please..."
"I'm done with this. Have fun babysitting Eri, because you just lost me." You proceed to walk away, but Togata runs to you.
"I can't do this alone. Don't leave me, please! I swear i'll be good, i will be always happy to you and you won't even notice my selfish problems. I promise, just please, PLEASE..." Mirio begging after all the yelling, all the bad things he heard... is the prove you needed that he is eating on the palm of your hand.
"I don't need a fucking dependent on my back!" With this, the sweet smile finally fades as he lets out a sad whimper.
"NO! I love you so much, give me just one more chance!" None of the "other times" were his fault either, but he felt as it was.
"I can't, you are destroying me, Mirio...."
"It wasn't the intention..." You turn away and he starts panicking. "I'LL DO ANYTHING, I'M BEGGING!"
"I already told you what i want you to do." You know that you're incisive and painfully killing any sign of joy he once saw.
"Sure, i-i will..." He is a crying mess, just to think that he would have to give up on his favorite person to have you.
"Amazing... Are you crying, love? Aw, don't be like that, shh... I'm sorry, i took it too far. I need to learn how to hide my feelings... shh.... It's ok." You hug him and pats his head, he doesn't stop crying. (this is not comfort and it's not a soft ending for clear reasons)
All the insults spin on his head, as he shakily curls into your chest.
Tamaki:
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"Fairy... really, Tamaki?" The question floated in the air, as Amajiki only stared at his hands.
"S-she is m-my friend..."
Were she inducing him into flirt? Yes.
But did he tried to stop it? No.
You got so mad, watching your boyfriend sit there and watch as his "friend" threw herself to him.
"And because she is your friend, you think you are allowed to flirt with her?" It felt like you were dealing with a child, holding back your anger and jealousy so he don't get hurt.
"W-wasn't flirtying..."
"Oh, right. So how do you call it?"
"C-complimenting my friend..?" He makes himself as smaller as he can and waits, never staring at you.
"Are you playing dumb with me? She was obviously seducing you and you didn't move an inche!" It's so tiring how he can't stand for himself.
"I was being friendly..."
"FRIENDLY?" He flinches, starting to tremble and whisper to himself. "YOU WOULD'VE CHEATED ON ME IF I DIDN'T STOP HER!"
"N-no..." Tamaki hates screams so much.
"LIAR! STOP ACTING LIKE YOU ARE TOO INNOCENT, IT'S SO-"
You look at Tamaki and he is sobbing, asking for forgiviness but is barely audible. It breaks your heart when he starts punching himself.
The world is all blurry to Amajikis, he hates this part of his personality so much, and you were the only one that he thought understands him, that you understood how hard it is for him, but he is trying his best.
"Tamaki?" You were calling him since you noticed that you were screaming, but he spaced out. "I'm sorry, oh my god, answer me-"
The only one he thought fully understands...
"Sorry, baby!!! Look at me, oh fuck!"
Liar? Cheater? Is this all you have to say about him? Coudn't be more caring with the words?
Is in times like this that we really get to know someone, he ponders.
"I-i-i c-can't d-do this any-anymore..." He then runs for his life.
Amajiki told Mirio and Nejire about everything, and aa the protectors they are, both helped him to avoid you as the month passed.
Came to the point that Tamaki alone didn't look at you anymore, your face alone make him feel anxious.
and that was when you knew that the lovebirds feel apart.
Bakugo
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"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Katsuki was raging, for the third time this week.
"Angel, i would like it better if we sit here and talk..."
"Who cares about what you think?" He is stubborn, you can tell after 2 years of dating.
"Katsuki, stop being immature for a minute." You aren't on the mood to take his drama today, and he doesn't notice that he is crossing a line.
"What about YOU stop being A WHORE, SHITTY PERSON!"
Katsuki is mad at you for posting a pic with your guy bestfriend. His jealousy is getting out of hand, the photo has none romantic appealing.
"You better apologize now." You're firm with him, not backing up even when the little explosions start on his hands.
"I am the one to apologize? Fuck no."
"I literally did nothing wrong and you are screaming, of course you are going to apologize!"
"NOTHING WRONG?" Bakugo walks away so he won't hurt you. "YOU AND THAT LOSER POSTING PHOTOS TOGHETER WAS WHAT? A NIGHTMARE?" he replys to you and proceeds to spit.
"You're... disgusting, you know that?"
"SHUT UP! I'm very dissapointed with-"
"YOU KNOW WHAT? I DON'T GIVE A FUCK!" You suddenly stand for yourself, gaining confidence out of nowhere.
Katsuki is silent. He just heavy breaths and stare at you with seems like fear.
"I DON'T GIVE A SINGLE FUCK TO WHAT YOU THINK!" You yell and he is taken aback by your response, closing his eyes and trying to take more air.
"I HATE YOU! I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE, IT'S USELESS!" You start taking your things to walk away. "I won't insist into a failed relationship anymore."
He can't move.
All those years, he was the one pointing fingers at you, he was the one accusing.
And he doesn't know what to do now.
Katsuki is still upset, and his pride says to stay right where he is and pray for you to come back.
But he is not cold hearted as it seems, he wants you more than anything. Maybe he should give up only this time
Or maybe not.
Yes.
No.
Yes.
No.
YES
NO!!!
YES!!!!!!
By the time he is able to decide, you are already out of his sigh, out of the shopping you guys had agreed to met in, and you are out of your rational state.
Katsuki was not able to find you that day.
Katsuki was not able to fix it.
End </3
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alecxaheart · 3 years
Text
Someone's Someone | Bang Chan Oneshot (1)
✎ Genre : CEO AU, Soulmate AU, Fluff
✎ Pairings : Bang Chan X Reader
✎ Word Count : 3.5k words
✎ Synopsis : We all just wanna be someone's someone that we can't live without. At this time, Chan was looking for his. And unexpectedly, he was already tied down to someone.
✎ Warnings : Explicit Language
✎. . . I actually just played my songs on shuffle then Monsta X's Someone's Someone played so.. yeah, I'm inspired. Also, this is my first post in tumblr btw. :)
✎ Parts : 1 , 2
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The relaxing sounds of nature enveloped him as a whole. His shoulders less tense and eyes closed as he sat on the cooled sand, facing the burning star and calm waters ahead. Seagulls could be heard in the distance as they caught themselves a dinner to eat. The refreshing cool wind hit his body, slightly making him shiver for a second. Waves, created by the sea and wind, kisses the shore repeatedly. For once, he was far away from worries, stress, fears and regrets. Just him, contented with the company of nature.
As he fluttered his eyes open, he was met with a stunning view of the sun meeting the ocean. The ocean reflecting the sun's visuals as well as the sky above it. Even though the reflection was blurry, it's still pleasing to the eye. Just perfectly imperfect.
However in his opinion, it wasn't stunning as it seems. This secret escapade paradise of his doesn't quite appeal to him yet. A missing piece that could be anywhere on this wide world. That thought kind of bothers him every time.
Sighing, he figured that it was time to go back. He slipped onto his slippers and headed out of his escapade paradise with a head hung low. Hopping on an enormous boulder that happened to break the wired fence and fixated there, having easier access to and from the place than climbing over the fence.
With a last glance towards his escapade, he knew he'll be coming back and that next time will be the scenery he's been looking for, hopefully.
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Frustrated with the task at hand, Chan ran his fingers through his blonde locks as he leaned back on his chair and head facing upwards toward the ceiling. Taking a brief break from a whole 6 hours straight of writing and staring at the monitor. Followed by him grabbing his coffee and taking a sip, eyes boring on the monitor. He was just half finished with his paperworks at the time of nightfall, which made him more in distress and felt crammed.
His eyes then wandered around his office, landing onto the view of the opposite building of his company in the end. Where he could see the workers of the Marketing Department bidding their goodbyes to one another, closing the lights and exiting the room. Oh, how much he too wanted to leave and rest right at this moment. Although his belief of 'getting things done before going into slumber' is preventing him to do so (even though he already got a lot of things done). With a sigh, he faced back in front of his monitor and papers, determined to get everything done before tomorrow starts.
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" Sunbae-nim, aren't you coming with us? We're having dinner at the Chicken & Barbecue restaurant just a block away from here. " Seungmin asked, grabbing his suitcase below his desk. You leaned back on your chair while stretching your cramping arms and a yawn escaping your mouth.
" As much as I want to, Seungmin, I can't, " You started, rubbing your temples to ease your aching head. " Because our new boss literally gave me 5 thick documents to finish before tomorrow morning without any mercy. And that's just bullshit. I don't even think I'm halfway through it! " Seungmin replied with a chuckle to your short rant, an amused expression written on his soft face. You were having another small mental breakdown as you stared at your unfinished pile of work, feeling your soul escape your body.
" I think you're overreacting. "
" Well, what if I am?! "
Laughing, Seungmin leans his side on your cubicle, looking over at your messy desk filled with sticky notes, papers and pens. " I don't think it's that much. You're lucky that your boss isn't here to hear any of your complaints, " He muttered as he took a peek at one of your documents. You scoffed, not my fault that I'm not as good as you.
" Hear what? "
Frantically, you immediately hide yourself behind your cubicle and pretend that you were focusing on your work. On the other hand, Seungmin casually brushed his navy blue coat with his palms and lifted himself off from the cubicle. Making it all seem like nothing happened.
" Oh, it's nothing, Ms. Ka- " Seungmin paused as he met the owner of the voice who wasn't the person they were expecting to be there. " M-Mr. Bang?! " He stuttered, eyes widened at the blonde headed CEO. Seeing in the corner of your eyes, Seungmin bowed ninety degrees at him as a sign of respect. Even with his heated glare on you, you continued your work like no CEO even entered. Thanks to your cute height, for sure you wouldn't be spotted.
" What are you doing here? Working hours are done. "
Seungmin stood straight and scratched the back of his head. Curiosity slowly arose in you as seconds passed - since you've never met a CEO called by your colleague as ' Mr. Bang ' - although as much as possible, you didn't let go out of hand and kept your focus on the documents silently. The least thing you wanted to happen to you right now is get caught by one of the company's CEO. " I was about to head out, Mr. Bang, " Finding an excuse, he pulled up his sleeve to check the time on his wristwatch. " Uhm.. Yeah, I'm late for dinner. Sorry, Mr. Bang, I have to leave right now. Have an great night! "
With a last bow to the CEO, Seungmin dashed his way out of the building, leaving you alone with your work. The blonde head noticed how the room was still lit up despite it being unoccupied, which he thought. Heading to the switches, everything around you darkened. The only source of light you had was the monitor, and Chan caught it in the corner of his eye.
" Is someone still there? " His voice, catching a bit of foreign accent with it, echoed in the hushed area.
Baffled as he approached that light with a few slow strides, you freaked out mentally. Swiftly but silently, you left your chair and hid yourself underneath the desk next to yours. As he neared your cubicle, you held your breath, slowly starting to feel lightheaded. You don't know what are the consequences if you get caught after working hours since you're still kind of new - got hired just 5 months ago. Dumb you overthink random shit first before even going to the thing called 'common sense' and the rules you heard just goes in one ear then out on the other.
The moment Chan was about to reach your cubicle and take a glance to his right, the sound of marimba playing a soft tune echoed in the room. Stopping in his tracks, he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and grabbed it, swiping to the right to answer the call. You let out a hushed yet shaky sigh of relief, your shoulders less tense than a while ago. In your mind played a chant, thanking whoever was your savior.
Chan narrowed his eyes at the back of your cubicle while his phone is still pressed against his ear, listening to the person on the other line's complaints. " I'm on my way. Don't do anything stupid, " Not too soon you hear heels clacking against the polished marble tiles, the noise fainting as he left the room.
It took you a good couple of seconds to get out of your hiding spot (since you had to catch your breath and calm your heart down from the thrill), slightly shaking your whole body first before heading back to your seat and continuing your pile of work. Mentally groaning at yourself.
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Oh. My. Gosh. These. Eyebags.
Is the first thing you thought as you looked at yourself in the mirror. The cause of it appearing badly because you obviously lacked sleep. All due to the time allotted for slumber was consumed by finishing your 5 thick documents that will be passed this morning. You could've cared less if today wasn't a work day, which fortunately for you it was still work day and these damn documents aren't gonna pass themselves to your boss this instant.
Fumbling around in your bag, you found your makeup kit and started fixing yourself. A little bit of touch ups here and there, just a little to look like it's still more natural than a lot to look like a plastic doll barbie.
Once satisfied, you smiled sweetly at yourself just to start your day nicely and exit your household. While walking on your way to the train station, incoherent mumbling leaves your mouth. A train of thoughts clouding you about your worries if you've left something important behind. In all honesty despite of your current good looks, you look stupid or crazy for talking to yourself in public. Well, at least you aren't as worse as someone yelling nonsense.
" I have all my files, identification card, phone, wallet, pocket knife 'cause anything could happen, keys- " you paused as soon as you misplaced your shoes at the edge of the last stair, falling forward. Luckily for you, you caught yourself and regained your balance. Wide eyed, you saw a kid, a giddy smile plastered on his face as he saw your commotion with a lollipop in hand. You felt embarrassed but laughed it off anyway, a light tint of pink decorating your cheeks.
You rushed towards the gates as soon as you realized the time with the card in between your fingers. Three beeps emitted from the machine when the gates opened after you placed the card on the scanner. With a few more strides, you caught up to your train ride as it was about to leave. You sighed in relief and sat down on a vacant bench, head automatically leaning back on the window. Your eyes boring at the ceiling while taking steady breaths after your short marathon on the way.
On the other hand, across you sat Chan. His right leg crossed over the other while scrolling through his phone. He wore a button up shirt, the first two still unbuttoned revealing more of his chest. His navy blue tie hung loose around his neck while his coat is still folded around his arm. His slacks were the same color as his tie and coat and wore black pointed shoes to finish the statement of his overall clothing. Blonde hair locks were scattered around his face but still managed to look stunning and attractive.
You haven't noticed his presence, so did he to you, and the fact that you both don't know each others' appearance even though you go to the same company just adds to the reason for you two's ignorance to one another's existence.
You got yourself to go back to slumber comfortably in your current position although you know when you wake up, you'll be greeted by your neck aching. Hopefully you don't miss your stop while gaining more sleep. The train swaying you lightly from time to time that you found quite relaxing, like a cradle rocking back and forth lightly to put a baby to sleep.
A child was running around the train with a joyful smile, giggling. He only stopped in his tracks when he reached in between you and Chan. His eyes glowed like there were stars decorated around his chocolate brown pupil when he eyed you two. Looking around, he spotted a roll of red thread underneath your bench and grabbed it. He thought it was just right.
With you being the closest, he starts to tie the thread around your pinky finger. You were too tired to even feel his small cold fingers run around your fingers nor the string tighten around it. Once done, he smiled to himself, his dimples appearing on either side of his cheeks and eyes forming into small crescents.
He left your side and skipped over in front of Chan, who was now too deep in thought as he gazed outside the window and his phone tucked in his pocket. Holding the other end of the thread, he wrapped it around Chan's thumb. Chan's body shook in surprise as he felt cold fingers ghosting above his hand and averted his attention to the child. He saw him knotting the red string tightly, strange that he barely even feels the string tightened around his thumb. " What are you doing? " he questioned although the child only responded with a bright smile, followed by a giggle.
The child turned and ran away from him, more giggles leaving his lips. Chan stood up and tried to chase him. But stopped as soon as he saw the child in the distance, dissolving into little particles in thin air and completely vanished in his sight. In disbelief, he rubbed his eyes and looked for the child around his area. Thinking that he was out of his mind, he sighed in defeat. There's no way anyone could do that in reality. It's either I'm insane or living in a fantasy or a chosen one blessed to see ghosts. Maybe, all of the above.
Chan looked down on his thumb, following where the other end lead to. Then, he spotted your sleeping beauty state, the other end attached to your pinky finger. With the sun rising in the horizon, a ray of gold-like light shines through the window, casting a shadow on you. And he thought you looked mesmerizing like that, peaceful and lovely. At least he wasn't tied up with a bitch or a hag.
Your eyes slowly fluttered open as the sun shined upon you. Squinting at its brightness, you raised a hand above your eyes to see more, only finding a red string wrapped around your pinky finger. You examined it, wondering what prank is anyone even planning and why did it have to involve you out of all people. Before anything stupid could happen, you attempted to loose the knot, ignoring the curiosity for a while of where the other end was. Looping and tugging it, even tried to chomp on it with your teeth, but all attempts failed. Well, that's until you gave up, untying it was impossible, unbelievably there's a knot that couldn't be untied. Sounded like marriage when you think about it, but there's the annulment and divorce ruining the picture.
Tearing your gaze at the string, you caught a pair of bewitching dark brown eyes staring back at you. In that particular moment, everything just froze in place. Time has stopped just for the two of you, you thought.
You felt your heart melting, probably from the warmth emitting in your body or from the warmth his eyes give off as you saw little sparks decorating the pupil. Unfamiliar light feathers tickling the insides of your stomach is what you felt other than the heat and that thawing heart of yours. Your mind knew it well that you shouldn't feel this way towards someone who you just met but your body and heart reacted so differently. There's just something about him that made you feel so exposed and vulnerable in his eyes that you couldn't come up with a possible answer to your 'why's.
Both of you didn't notice how seconds turned into minutes, too lost into one another's orbs. That was until the train stopped, causing Chan to break the eye contact and lose his balance. Before his hands made contact on the metal floor, he took a step forward in order to regain his balance which he successfully did. A small chuckle left your lips, eyes turning into crescents as you saw the commotion. He narrowed his eyes at you as the train was back in motion.
Chan fixed his clothes first before asking, " Who are you? ". Grabbing the pole next to him to prevent him from falling again on the next stop.
" Shouldn't I be asking you that as well? " You replied with a gummy smile, which quickly faded when you remembered what's the problem.
" What is this on my finger and why is it connected to yours? What kind of trickery is anyone pulling? Why am I involved in this? " You kept firing questions at him while he stayed there unbothered. Unlike you who did some more attempts to remove the thread, silly you even tried aggressively shaking your hand in hopes of making it a little loose. But no prevail happened once again.
" Just get rid of it. I didn't want this too, you know. " Chan taps his foot impatiently as he eyed your useless attempts.
" I am trying! " You exaggerated. Deciding to bring out the best tool you have for the situation in hand, your hands fumbling in your bag. Once you felt the cool metal on your fingertips, you brought it out and flipped it open.
Chan's eyes widened at the sight of the pocket knife in your palms. " You carry that on a daily basis? Are you insane? "
You rolled your eyes in annoyance. " It's not insane when it's used for self-defense purposes. I'm too nice to be the murderer you're assuming, " You replied, head throbbing as things aren't going well with the charming blonde.
He responded just before the blade and thread were in contact, starting with a scoff. " Yeah sure, nice. Anyone can wear that façade anywhere. "
" You know what, " You started as you withdrew the pocket knife back and glared at him afterwards, pissed off. " You deal with this shit yourself, I'm done with my part and I could care less about this red thread anyway. You look like you don't need any of my help 'cause you look fancier than me and it seems like you're not taking any gratitude towards my kindness. Damn these crazy rich people. " You threw the tool towards his direction and looked away from him, arms crossed. Chan instinctively caught it without getting any cuts despite the fact it's closed, his eyes burning through your figure in fury.
" If I actually got wounded instead from your little stunt, I would've sued you this instant, " He growled, only to be ignored by you.
Irritated by your sudden change of attitude, Chan flipped it open and skillfully ran the blade through the string. Only for it to just fall through like the string never existed, ghost-like perhaps. " It's not cutting, what the hell, " Chan muttered under his breath as he tried a few more times again.
"It's just a string, how could a- " You spoke as you turned your head back to his direction, only to be cutted off as you witnessed the unusual. Mouth a little bit agape in disbelief. The thread didn't fall apart even while the blade was just sitting in between of it on air. Maybe that explains why you could barely even feel the thread wrapped securely around your finger. You could tell that this stunning blonde head was just as puzzled as you were.
" Sir, if you're having any problems that includes this woman, we can sort it out. Just withdraw the knife first please, " a man suddenly blurted out, his voice a little bit shaky. That's when you realized the commotion you both have caused, everyone around you two took steps back away. All had fear in their eyes.
" Wait, you don't see the thread we're trying to cut? " Chan questioned, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. At that, he was more misunderstood.
" There's no thread..? " With that, it got the two of us surprised. Is the crazy one here them, who couldn't see this string, or us, who could?
Chan tried to explain our situation thoroughly but when he was about to speak up, out of the blue, a voice spoke in the speakers. " Please mind the gap, " You immediately grabbed his arm, carried his belongings and dragged him out of the train. Leaving its passengers confused as they eyed us. They might be thinking that you two are idiots.
The doors just shut a second later when you two got out. You felt a bit suffocated for an unknown reason, your hand reaching for your chest where you could feel your heart beating. Panting, you shoved Chan's belongings into his chest. " Are you alright? " He asked as he tried to place a hand on your back, the least thing he could do to comfort you.
But his hand only stopped in mid-air when you took your last deep breath, replying. " Let's just part ways here, " Saying those words felt a bit disheartening at some point, yet you chose to disregard it.
You walked forwards, while Chan stayed in his position, wearing his coat and fixing his tie. Although, something stopped you. As in you couldn't go forwards as much as you force to. Well when you did force yourself, it only tugged Chan towards you. Turning around, he was already eyeing you. " What was that for?! "
Glaring at the thread, you thought out loud, " Is this string telling me, it can only stretch itself approximately at 7 meters?! "
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msgrumpygills · 3 years
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I feel like stans don't accept that people might have legitimate reasons to not like their fave outside of who they play on TV or what faction of fandom they belong to. For example, i came into this fandom a Dean girl(gn) and i wasn't a huge fan of Sam until season 5 or 6. I had no problem with Jared however. I adored him. I was very pleased to see a celebrity so open about his struggles with mental health. It became a problem however, when he started using his mental health issues as an excuse to act like a spoiled brat.
Those of us who suffer from various mental issues have a hard enough time trying to shake off the "crazy" stigma and having a celebrity, who seems to be an advocate for mental health awareness, turn around and slam someone who suffered from addiction, publicly shame customer service workers while doing nothing to stop the fans who attacked them in his defense, and assault people while under the influence, then turn around and play the victim while also making jokes about it.....not a good look for us, ya know.
Dont get me wrong, it's okay to make mistakes, people mess up. Its part of being human. Own up to it, apologize and move on. But to blame crap behavior on mental health issues while also trying to be a spokesperson for good mental health.....
I know my fave isn't perfect. He says and does some Fd up Sh** and absolutely deserves to be called out on it. I also know there are people in my particular corner of the fandom are toxic as hell, but their opinions do not influence my own.
I can separate fiction from real life. Who i like and what i like and what i do or do not ship has no influence on how i feel about the actors on some tv show. I didn't like Sam at first but it had nothing to do with any ship or any other characters, i simply just didn't like Sam at first. And that didn't make me hate Jared. Now it's actually the opposite. I adore Sam, but Jared gives me all the wrong vibes. I want to believe he will get better, but it seems like the more time goes on, the more controversial he becomes.
I tried watching Walker, and it was BAD. I tried to talk to people about why it was bad and people told me i was just biased because of my preferences in SPN. A completely different show. I pointed out that jared fudged some things about the finale (5 years vs 6months, blurry "gender ambiguous" spouse.) and was ignored because I don't hate Misha. (All three of them said sketchy things about the finale btw i don't want this to seem like jared was the only one)
I'm sorry to rant like this on your page, but you seem to be one of the only anti blogs that can keep an objective view and I'm seriously starting to get sick of all these people acting like their faves sh** don't stink. They're men. Not Gods. It's okay to call them out. All of them. And no one can tell me that if Jensen had beat someone up while drunk he wouldn't be crucified, or if Misha had called a beloved actors death "pathetic" he wouldn't be cancelled. As they should be. Because those are messed up things to do. No matter who does them. And who ever does those things should be held accountable. Not babied.
I just really wish more people would realize the hypocrisy in their favoritism. I'm sorry. Rant over.
You’re welcome to rant anytime you need, love! 
I have an anxiety disorder and depression, and let me tell you, I was stoked when Jared was so open about his struggles and created AKF. But now it kind of makes me roll my eyes. He only brings up AKF when he’s promoting a new product he’s selling, he rarely ever mentions being a “mental health advocate” unless he’s promoting some product. It comes off as really fake. And I completely agree with you that him being able to hide behind his mental illness as an excuse for everything is gross. The fans totally feed into it too because no matter what happens, no matter what he does, he’s exempt from criticism (well deserved criticism) because of his “mental health”. Him making jokes about his arrest while simultaneously dodging responsibility and accountability for it was a big giveaway to him being able to handle more than the fans think. 
There is a LOT of hypocrisy with Jensen, Jared and Misha and a lot of double standards. I try very hard not to be biased with them though! I think you’re right though that if Jensen had done the shit that Jared has done and continues to do, he’d be ripped apart. Misha would be cancelled in a heartbeat and Jared would absolutely stay silent to it all. Jared does it though? He’s just a big ol’ silly moose with depression! Seriously? 
I’m not saying Jared needs to be perfect, I’m not saying that any of them have to be perfect, but at least own up to your mistakes, take responsibility and practice what you preach. No one has made him face actual consequences so he keeps doing it without learning from his mistakes. 
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m4gp13 · 4 years
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I want to listen to u ramble abt Ur Titan army headcanons pls I'm starved 4 more content👍
ask and ye shall receive ;) (also please excuse any spelling errors)
The Titans like to act like their army has a strict hierarchy and no one steps a toe out of line and all malarky to hide the fact that they have absolutely no structure whatsoever.
okay maybe not no structure but it’s all very loose with a lot of exceptions like Titans are obviously at the top and then it’s the minor gods then some powerful monsters but then the lines start to get blurry.
i mean every ones confused about if demigods are seen as less than the monsters or they’re only less than some monsters. Like demigods are clearly prioritized over hellhounds because they're basically war dogs but what about telkhines? Are they better? Worse? Who knows! Definitely not them!
Also Aphrodite kids are a bit more respected in the army than at camp because the army sees them as the kids of the top guys half sister while camp sees the pink curtains on the cabin and think that’s all there is to them (See: Annabeth talking about the Aphrodite cabin in TLT).
Speaking of cabins, the demigods mostly stick with their siblings but they’re a lot looser with it than camp.
The only exceptions being unclaimed demigods, demigods who don’t have any siblings in the army and the Hecate kids. 
They (especially the younger ones) just follow Alabaster around as a terrifying gaggle of realty altering children whose main role model is a sixteen year old who hasn’t slept since the fall of Rome.
Ethan thinks it’s the funniest shit he’s ever seen but he values his sanity so he keeps that to himself even though he’s internally dying with laughter every times he sees Alabaster and the magic sibling bus stroll by.
Also, speaking of Ethan, when he first joined he couldn’t walk two steps without some talking about him getting his ass kicked in the labyrinth. 
Ethan, however, is a petty bitch (it runs in the family) and by the end of his first year he’s pretty much Kronos’ right hand man (cue the Hamilton soundtrack) and gets to give the worst jobs to the people who were mean to him.
Also sometimes the Titan army pulls a camp half-blood and sends groups of three demigods on quests to do Titan army stuff.
And that is where the emotional heavy lifting is going on. 
Honestly, the shit i’ve thought about going down on those quests could be another post entirely so i think i’m gonna leave it here, thanks for the ask btw <3
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gal-primal · 4 years
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A minor comic sketch that makes fun of my poor blind TF oc medic.
Please excuse my hand writing and blurry text, I resized them for awhile and now it looks horrible, I'm not going to remake this. It will stay the way it is, I just needed to get it off my chest sorry if you can't read it.. The dialogue will be down here after the characters mentioned. BTW this takes place in the TFA universe
Trailblazer- feme bot who is holding the book, Striker's twin sister, cyberninja and Prowl's neice.
Striker- the feme bot with the light blue text Trailblazer's twin sister, cyberninja and Prowl's neice.
Insight- the ratchet look alike, blind grumpy medic boy(yes, he is blind). Wears visor most of the time but I just want everyone to see what his problem is with the book.
Dialouge
TB- Hey, check out the book I got from earth! Want me to read it?
S- Yes!
IS- No..
That's all the dialogue that I'll do, the rest is readable. Deviantart post ver. coming soon
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dylshoney · 5 years
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when you’re ready
 requests:  maybe a shawn fic based on “when you’re ready” but you’re not the girl he sung about? and the girl shows up 10 years later and tries to get him back and you guys have been together for like 3 years and it just causes insecurities ?? does this make sense?? (love your work btw❤️)
Hellurrr! I have a request, if you will? TW Anxiety Attack Like if the female!reader has an anxiety attack because she thinks she's not good enough so Shawn helps her and holds her?
a/n: this was my first time trying to write angst (cause im usually an optimistic ass bitch) so if its bad just lie and scroll post ahahaha but i wanted to try and @superiorsoph sent this request in and i couldnt resist. im sorry i didnt follow it exactly, but i hope you like it love.
warnings: language, angst
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“Stay still!”
 You hear him say for the umpteenth time, but you pretend not to hear him, twirling around in the dress, laughing and shaking your hips.
 He makes noises of disgruntlement and soon you hear the shutter of his camera go off, the flash blinding you for a few seconds, but you don’t care. You glide over to the full-length mirror on one side of the store and smile at your reflection. He was right, the dress is gorgeous.
 You push down the fabric, loving the smoothness under your fingers and twirl once more. You can see Shawn roll his eyes in the reflection, but you can see the hint of a smile threatening to peak through. He places his camera back in the casing and walks over to you, wrapping his arms around your waist, leaning down to press his head on your shoulder.
 You’re both silent for a moment, just staring at the pair of you in the mirror. You hum, your head falling back into him, “I think we found the one.”
 “I told you I’d be useful,” he tuts, pinching your hip. You flinch, turning around to smack his chest, “You only just started being useful. The past hour has been torture.”
 He’s laughing, the beautiful crinkles on his face making your heart melt but you love teasing him, so you can’t give in just yet, “Trying on twenty dresses definitely wasn’t necessary.”
 “No.” He agrees, smiling down at you with a shit- eating grin. “But we had to test all out options, didn’t we?”
 You shake your head, turning back around to see yourself in the reflection, triple-checking that this was the right choice.
 “You have to delete those photos, you know?”
 “No!” He sounds almost offended. “Those are memories, there’s no way I’m getting rid of that.”
 “But I look horrid,” you pout, blinking innocently.
 “Don’t give me that face,” he shakes his head, “They’re all blurry anyway.”
 You grin victoriously, winking at him, “The music in here is just too good – I couldn’t resist.”
 He pauses for a moment, raising his finger to the ceiling, eyebrows raised. You focus on the sound of #Selfie by the Chainsmokers, your ears getting hot as you begin to nod slowly, “It has a nice rhythm?”
 He shakes his head, but you’re already dancing again – thankful that there was no one else in the store on an early Wednesday morning.
 “If you dance like that tonight, I’m going to pretend I don’t know you.”
 You ignore him, taking his large hand into yours and spinning into him, his laughter getting louder as the two of you stumble around together.
 The music changes to Troye Sivan’s Dance to This and you squeal a bit, getting overly excited as the two of your start shouting the lyrics at the top of your lungs. You can see the nice sales associate trying to contain her giggles as she pretends not to watch you, but you don’t care.
 You’re watching Shawn. Your eyes never leaving him as he throws his head back, laughing as you mess up the lyrics. His hands pull you into him, your chest hitting his as you begin doing some sort of heightened version of a slow dance. His hands are warm against you, sending a current of energy through your body.
 You’ve never smiled wider in your life, your heart clenching as he places a kiss on your forehead and you can’t believe that you’re still so in love with him after two years of being together. It’s never stopped being butterflies and sweaty palms with him – you’re body reacting to his touch like it was the first time.
 Everyone around you recognized that as well, even the sales associate as she checked out the dress a few minutes later. You two are adorable, how long have you been engaged?
 Shawn had squeezed your hand extra hard as the two of you tried to contain your giggles, explaining to her that the ring on your finger was a promise one. But Shawn made sure to add that he was hoping to fulfill that promise soon.
 You felt like you were on cloud nine, leaving the store with a flutter of butterflies in your stomach. You knew that Shawn was it for you, never once doubting that he was the person you were going to marry.
 You just didn’t expect that maybe; you weren’t it for him too.
 *
 Later that night you found yourself at yet another event with Shawn, wearing the pretty red dress and smiling widely as people approached you.
 You were happy to find that you could easily recognize and talk to many people, a stark comparison to how you were when you had just started going out with Shawn. You were more confident now, excepting that you belonged next to Shawn, that if you stood up straight and acted like you were meant to be there – people would believe it too.
 You were sipping a Shirley temple, bopping your head lightly to the beat of the song radiating through the room, talking to Lina – the daughter of a famous record producer. She was probably your closest friend related to the industry, but she was usually too busy to attend these kind of parties – so you were taking in every second you could get with her.
 “Ok look at Marsha,” Lina lifted her chin, motioning to a woman a few meters away from you, “She’s about to go talk to Roger. For the sixth time tonight.”
 “No way.” You shook your head, cringing as Marsha started making her way over to the older man again. “He’s said no to her single like a million times already.”
 “Have you heard it?”
 “No.” You paused, “Wait? Have you?!”
 She snorted, “I wish I didn’t.”
 “Come one!” You threw your head back, “I would have paid to see your reaction.”
 “I can perform some for you, if you’d like?”
 You were quick to shake your head, but she was already going.
 “If I could fly … I would never leave you dry ….”
 “Stop! Please!” You were bent over, holding your stomach as you tried to contain your laughter. She was so off pitch that you were tempted to cover your ears.
 “Maybe we could last forever ….”
 “I don’t know what sadder,” you heaved, “The song – or the fact that you know it by heart.”
 “She made me listen to it six times!”
 “That sounds like – ”
 “Excuse me.” You turned around at the sound of the voice, feeling a light touch on your shoulder. You were greeted with the sight of a beautiful blonde staring at you with a small smile.
 “Hi.” You were quick to return the grin, trying to figure out if you remembered her from somewhere. She looked oddly familiar.
 “I’m sorry to bother you, but I’m looking for Shawn?”
 You smiled, “I can go get him for you. Give me just a second.”
 “Thank you so much!”
 You found Shawn in the back, talking to someone you recognized to be very important, but his eyes lit up and he was on his feet the second he saw you.
 “Hey angel, everything okay?”
“Hey,” you nodded as he wrapped a hand around your waist pulling you to the side, “There’s someone looking for you.”
 You took his hand in yours, leading him through the mass of bodies in the space, over to where Lina and the stranger were waiting.
 “Hey!” Your tone was light as you called out to her, “Found him!”
 She turned around, an expectant look on her face before her eyes finally settled on your boyfriend.
 “Kate.” Shawn’s voice was laced with shock, a smile gracing his features as he let go of your hand and shot forward to hug her.
 You made eye contact with Julia from behind them, her light ones wide and looking at you with something you could only describe as sheer worry. You tilted your head, trying to understand what she was mouthing to you.
 “It’s been so long.” You could hear Shawn say as they pulled apart, his tone laced with something you didn’t recognize.
 “It has. You look amazing, Shawn.” Now that was something you did recognize.
 You placed a hand on Shawn’s back, his eyes wide as he turned back to look at you, almost as if he’d forgotten you were even there.
“Kate,” his eyes were back on her immediately, “This is y/n, my … girlfriend.”
 You hated the hesitation in his voice, but you didn’t want to jump to any conclusions, smiling gently at her, “It’s nice to meet you.”
 “So, how do you two know each other?” Julia stepped forward, sipping on her drink as her narrowed eyes trained on Kate.
 There was a moment of reluctance, which definitely didn’t help with your unease.
 “We go way back.” Shawn finally said, Kate, giggling in response. Your smile faded. So they went way back. That was definitely code for used to date.
 You hated the jealously that flooded through you. Your stomach clenching as your boyfriend continued to stare at the girl with an unrecognizable look.
 Everyone was silent for a moment, Shawn’s eyes not leaving Kate, something you weren’t too happy about. You were used to being the center of his attention. And you felt selfish the second those thoughts filled your mind.
 “What are you doing here?” He asked, the wide grin never leaving his face.
 She smiled for a moment until her eyes traveled over to you and the expression faded, “I uh – was hoping we could talk?”
 You didn’t like the look she was giving you, and you definitely didn’t like the sound of that. But Shawn was nodding and not even a second later he was turning to you, “I’ll be right back.”
 You didn’t respond, he didn’t give you the chance to. He was already walking away, hot on her heels.
 “What the actual fuck.”
 You didn’t know how to answer. So instead you turned over the bar, immediately ordering four shots, making Lina talk them with you.
 You had hoped that the alcohol would ease your nerves, but instead, you found yourself pacing in the bathroom, your head spinning as you tried to explain to Lina what was going on in your mind.
 She did her best to try and calm you, easing your mind that it was nothing. Shawn loved you. It didn’t matter that he was slightly tipsy. Alone. And talking to his ex.
 You trusted him with everything in you, but you didn’t trust the look in Kate’s eyes. And the look in his.
 Shawn came back a half hour later, his eyes bloodshot and begging you to leave with him. You didn’t hesitate to agree, taking his outstretched hand and following him to the car.
 You were both silent for a few moments but there was unspoken tension hanging in the air, your hands folded in your lap – trying to figure out how to phrase your words.
 “Are you going to tell me what happened?” You finally blurted, hating the way his hands tightened on the steering wheel.
 Shawn was silent for a few seconds, before he cleared his voice, “Everything’s fine. Kate just wanted to catch up.”
 You rolled your eyes but didn’t argue. “How long were you together for?”
 You could see him tense again, his shoulders tightening, “We weren’t. Almost though.”
 “What happened?”
 “I don’t know. She wasn’t ready, I guess.” His tone was clipped; sounding like he had uttered those words millions of times before. You could feel your breath catch in your throat.
 She wasn’t ready.
 You replayed those words in your head a million times before you could finally utter something else. “When was the last time you saw her?”
 Shawn could sense the uneasiness in your voice, the unfamiliar tremble as you tried to calm your breathing.
 His hand was quick to take yours, twisting it out of the clasp in your lap and holding it in his tightly, “Baby –”
 “I’m just curious – I know there’s nothing to worry about I just –” your voice was higher than normal, Shawn’s hand tightening around yours.
 But he was silent. Staring straight ahead at the stoplights. The bright red glow illuminating his impassive features.
 “There is nothing to worry about, right?” You found yourself saying.
 “Of course not.”
 Your heart was in your stomach, and you suddenly felt like there was no room in the car – no air.
 “Shawn,” you whispered, “Did something happen?”
 He swallowed again, “No.”
 You were both silent for the rest of the ride home, Shawn’s hand holding yours – the only thing stopping you from falling apart.
 The second the car parked in your driveway, you let go of him and jumped out, not waiting for him to follow – speed walking to the front door. Your hands were shaking as you tried to stick the key into the lock, your blurry eyes making it hard for you to focus.
 “Y/n – ”
 You could hear Shawn coming up behind you, but the door burst open just in time – saving you from having to look at him, “I – I have to go to the bathroom.”
 You could hear him shout something back but you were already sprinting up the stairs and into your shared room, shutting the door behind you and bolting into the bathroom.
 You were shaking, pulling your phone out and googling the one thing on your mind since the second you heard it.
 The lyrics to Shawn’s When You’re Ready showed up on screen and you tried to calm your breathing, scrolling for a moment before your tears began collecting again and you were sobbing.
 You gripped the sink, your breaths choked up as you tried to control your heart rate.
 You could feel a tightness expanding through your chest, like a weight that was pulling you down. You were on your knees before you had a chance to blink, your hands wrapped around your dress as you tried to get a grip on yourself.
 Moments passed but your breathing wasn’t picking up, you tried to blink away the tears, but they kept flowing as your shallow breaths increased.
 You stood; your head spinning at the sudden movement, making you fall back and steady yourself against the sink. A jewelry box slid off at the impact, falling and smashing on the floor.
 You flinched back at the noise, your ears registering a muffled yelling from behind your door, but you couldn’t make it out. You didn’t understand any of it, your chest heaved as you fell back onto your knees, sounding like you were chocking on air. Black spots began to cloud your vision, the room starting to spin.
 Arms wrapped around you, pulling you back into a hand chest, but your mind was too cloudy to process any of it.
 “Breathe – ” you could just make out his words, “You’re having a panic attack.”
 “I can’t I –”
 Shawn spun you into him, on his knees before you, his hands cupping your cheeks as he placed his forehead on yours. You tried to make out the golden color of his eyes but you couldn’t focus on anything but the tightness in your chest.
 “I need you to listen to me, okay?” His thumbs were lightly massaging your jaw, “You’re going to inhale for me on the count of three.”
 “1.. 2.. inhale.” You obeyed, your chest filling up with air as you shook in his grasp.
 “Now exhale,” he said, his voice shaky, “Now again.”
 “Inhale…exhale…inhale….exhale.”
 It was working, your mind slowly clearing as you focused on the sound of his voice.
 You sighed easily for the first time in a while, your eyes finally opening and meeting his tear-streaked ones.
 You pulled away from him immediately, falling back onto your butt as you crawled further away, the cold tile the least of your concerns.
 “You – you.” You heaved, trying to catch your breath, “You wrote it about her.”
He tilted his head, looking like a devastated, confused puppy, “Angel I don’t know –”
 “When you’re ready! You wrote it about her, didn’t you?”
 Shawn blinked, a single tear falling from his eye as he crawled over to you. You flinched, scooting away until your back hit the wall.
 “Y/n I –”
 “The song was written four months into our relationship.” You sniffled, wiping your nose on the sleeve of your dress, not caring about how much money you had spent this morning. Now, that seemed like a lifetime ago.
 “You had said that Teddy wrote most of it. That it was a spur of the moment thing. That none of your songs were based on anyone until you met me.”
 He was silent, tears streaking down his cheeks as he tried to catch his breath, “Baby –”
 “You were waiting for her. This entire time. Weren’t you?”
 “No!” He tried to get closer, but stopped at the expression on your face, “No! I love you, I –”
 “Cause ain't n –nobody like you. F- familiar disappointment every single time I do.” You began to recite, your hiccupping sobs making it hard to understand.
 “Y/n. Baby, please let me explain – ”
“Every single night my arms are not around you. My mind's still wrapped around you.” You shut your eyes, your entire body shaking as you wrapped your arms around yourself, trying to figure out how this was happening to you.
 “Baby, tell me when you're ready.” You opened at the sound of a choked sob coming from the other side of the room. Shawn was on the floor, his head between his hands as he sobbed, shoulders shaking.
 You were silent, trying to stop yourself from rushing over to him and holding him in your arms – something you had grown so accustomed to that now you felt like you were having an out of body experience.
 “Do you still love her?” 
That wasn’t what you had planned to say, but you needed to hear it. You needed to know if the last two years were a waste, if the ring on your finger had ever meant something to the boy you thought was going to be yours forever.
 Shawn was silent, his shoulders slumping as he threw his head back.
 “Shawn?” Your voice was sterner than it had been all day.
 “I – ” Another wrecked sob flew through him.
 You covered your mouth as you felt your chest close up again. Shaking your head, you took a deep breath – you were not about to have another panic attack right now.
 You gripped the vanity to your left, using it to pull yourself to your feet. Your mind went hazy from how fast you rose, your head already pounding from how hard you’d been crying.
 “She told you she was ready, didn’t she?”
 All Shawn could do was nod, his eyes not opening as he placed his head back in his hands – his elbows on his knees as he started crying again.
 You threw your head back, urging yourself not to cry – but nothing could stop the whimper from flying out of you, your eyes shutting again.
 Everything was silent again. For a few moments, you hoped that he would say something. That he would get to his feet and explain that everything was a misunderstanding – that he would take you in his arms and hold you, telling you that you were the one he loved. The only one he loved.
 However, things weren’t that simple. They never were with Shawn. But never before had you doubted where you stood with him.
 “I – I can’t do this.” You found yourself saying, his head snapping up – bloodshot eyes meeting yours.
 He was on his feet before you could blink, “No. Y/n – let’s talk about this, please.”
 You hesitated, before shaking your head. It was too late for talking now. You had waited for him to act and he had left you dry.
 “You need to figure yourself out before we can do that Shawn.” You spun the ring on your finger. “I can’t be with you if you’re not a hundred percent sure about me.”
 “I love you.” His voice cracked, a single tear traveling down his sculpted cheek again.
 “I love you too.” You sniffled, taking the ring off your finger – Shawn immediately flinching back, “Please. Please don’t leave me.”
 “You lied to me. You used me as a placeholder for her. You still love –”
 “I don’t. I don’t.” He was shaking, his hands coming up to fold behind his head, “It was a spur of the moment, baby – ”
 “I know you, Shawn.” You were tired, and he was delirious. You couldn’t keep your eyes open anymore, and you were afraid that if you kept this up any longer – he could convince you to stay.
 “Call me when you figure everything out. And then we can talk.”
 You placed the ring on the counter, the clang of it hitting the marble making Shawn flinch again, but you didn’t let yourself get phased.
 You took one long look at him, before turning around and walking out of the bathroom – and ultimately the house.
 He didn’t call after you once.
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