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buckysugar · 1 year

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𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲’𝐬 𝐛𝐚𝐝 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 | 𝐛. 𝐛𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐞𝐬

au masterlist

reader has a bad dream and struggles to maintain a balance between her big self and her little self. it doesn't help that all she wants is bucky, the man she wishes to be her daddy.

note: this my first fic so please be kinds !! i hopes you likes n maybe i writes more in the futures? thankies for readings, i lubs you 🎀☁️🫶🏽💗

you were a lonely baby when bucky met you. you had your family, sure, but they weren't there for you in the way you needed them to be. you'd just had a fall out with your best friend and had began isolating yourself from everyone and everything

it wasn't until peter found you at school, crying on a park bench in the rain, that things started to change for you. that was a few months ago. under the false pretence of moving away for college, you left your family and joined peter at the avengers tower after three months.

everyone loved you the moment they met you. you were so kind, so quiet and well-mannered. just so doll-like that no one could pick a bone with you. they hadn't known you were a little, and they still didn't but they wouldn't be surprised to find out. they all protected you and cared for you like you were their own. of course, you felt very out of place considering how quickly everything had happened but they all reassured you that they enjoyed having you around more than you knew. and with peter by your side, things were okay.

the one person who was iffy about you at first was bucky. he was too scared to come close, to taint your innocence with his darkness. over time, he came to realize how similar the two of you were in different ways and he let his wall break down. he opened up to you in the slightest of ways, and so did you. your feelings of hurt and anxiety still resided in your heart, but the avengers made you feel like you finally had a home. especially bucky.

"y/n, peter, what are you still doing up?" tony asked as he barged into the boy's room.

"we're just studying for a test, mr. stark. there's a lot to cram," peter replied in a tired voice, running a hand through his hair as the only light in the room came from his laptop and the bright city outside his window.

"okay, well this isn't the time to be studying, it's 1am. go to sleep," tony looked at him sternly, ready to walk out. "tiny, you look tired. head to bed, alright?"

"y-yes, sir," you nodded softly, giving him a smile.

"goodnight, kiddos. get some rest."

peter huffed, slamming his laptop aggressively. this caused you to flinch from your seat on the bed, making him give you an apologetic smile.

"i didn't realize how late it was," he spoke quietly, moving your book out of your lap. "let's get some rest, bug."

"mkay," you shuffled under the covers and made room for him to come in beside you. peter turned on the night light he kept for you in these instances before sliding into bed, opening his mouth to say something when he noticed the pout on your face.

"what's wrong?"

"i don't have squiggles."

"i got you," he tried easing your worries, pulling you into his chest. "you're safe with me, now close your eyes y/n/n."

"thank you, petey. goodnight."

"stop! where's my bucky? where's my daddy? i want him!" you shouted at the man in front of you.

"he's not coming back for you. he's gone, you're all alone like you always have been."

"i wan' him back," you cried, looking around through the foggy crowd of people around you. you didn't know where you were or who you were talking to, but you felt so alone and unsafe.

"you're alone now, y/n. nobody's coming to find you. you're trapped."

you woke up to heavy breaths, jolting upwards as you forced yourself awake. you were shaking like a leaf, heart beating rapidly against your chest as you looked down at peter who was sleeping soundly.

"wan' bucky," you whispered through tears, clutching the blanket to your chest. you were feeling so little right now, so scared and vulnerable.

you didn't know what to do. you didn't want to go bother or disturb him. the man rarely ever slept, but what if this time he was? you couldn't do it. but staring at the clock that read 3:14am, you didn't know how much longer you could take it.

he always told you to come to him whenever you needed him. you never did for fear of wasting his precious time but surely he wouldn't mind, if he wasn't asleep at least. you took a deep breath, using the back of your hands to wipe away the stray tears you didn't know had fallen. you carefully hopped over peter's sleeping frame and quietly made your way out of his room.

the hall was dark, making you let out a quiet whimper. your fingers clawed at your neck as you took shallow breaths, wishing you were holding squiggles right now for comfort. he always knew how to cheer you up.

"miss. l/n, you appear to be in distress. shall i alert mr. barnes?" F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice boomed, causing you to jump out of your skin.

"n-no, no, no. F.R.I.D.A.Y, b-be quiet. you'll wake everyone ups," you whispered, staring up at the ceiling.

"i'm sorry, ms. l/n, it appears mr. barnes is already on his way."

"w-what?" your eyes widened, looking around as you heard heavy footsteps walking towards you.

your eyes cracked with tears as you couldn't see a thing, reminding you of your scary dream as a quiet sob made its way out of your mouth.

"hey, y/n/n, don't worry. you're okay, everything's okay, love," you heard the familiar voice.

"b-bucky, you here?" you asked the dark abyss, pulling your thumb into your mouth.

"hun, i'm right here. i'm walking towards you," bucky replied, not missing a beat. his voice didn't sound tired at all. in fact, he sounded more awake than ever.

as he reached you, he heard the little sounds coming from you and his heart ached. he carefully placed a hand on your shoulder, causing you to jump and cry.

"plum, it's just me—"

you quickly ran into his arms and he held your quivering frame tight to his chest. you didn't want to speak, not in the hall where anyone could find you. you wanted to go to his room and let everything out, tell him all your fears and get the reassurance you so dearly needed.

"shh, shh. you're okay, my love, you're alright. i'm right here, i'm not leaving," he comforted, lifting you into his arms and taking you to his bedroom.

he locked the door behind him and sat on the bed, running a soft hand down your back as your tears soaked the skin on his neck.

"what happened, bug? what's got you so worked up?" he asked quietly, pulling you out of his chest.

you made a sound of disapproval before shoving your head back into the crook of his neck, just needing to be close to him.

"okay, okay. that's okay you can stay there," he rocked you slowly. "but can you please be the good girl i know you are and tell me what's wrong?"

you hiccupped, nodding your head. "t-the.. the guy t-took me.. n.. n you was gone!"

you balled his shirt in your fist, sobbing so hard your chest began to hurt. "was— was all 'lones n he.. he saids you wasn't gonna come backs."

"aw, my love," it clicked that you had a bad dream, the hurt in your voice tugging at his heartstrings. "i'm right here, i promise you i'll always find you wherever you are."

"was s-so scareds d.. da.. mm," you shook your head and stopped, finally taking the moment to actually realize where you were. you were with bucky, you couldn't call him daddy. but you were safe, no one was going to take him away from you and he wasn't going to leave you.

"thought.. thought you were g-gones," your voice cracked at the memory. a string of snot clung to his shirt through your cries and you wanted to laugh but you couldn't.

he kissed the top of your head, deciding again to try to get you to peak out from your hiding spot. he cupped your face in his hands, observing your red and teary eyes. he wiped the tears away softly before kissing both your cheeks as you hiccupped again. your lips were plump from the crying, and he continued looking down to notice scratches on the skin of your collarbone.

he'd have to talk to you about that in the morning, but for now he needed to get you back to sleep.

"you need a tissue," he mumbled, reaching over to his bedside table and grabbing one. he placed it on your nose. "blow."

you listened like you always do, silent wetness still dripping from your cheeks but they were beginning to slow down. he through out the tissue after humming in satisfaction. his hands moved down to your neck, using his thumbs to rub soft circles under your ears as you sniffled. it felt good, really good. you closed your eyes, his touch being more than enough to bring you back down to earth.

"you feeling a little better, baby?"

"mhm," you nodded, wiping your face aggressively. "m sorry."

"no, no. don't ever be sorry. you're okay, my baby's alright. bucky's here, you'll never be alone, hm? it's all going to be okay," he pulled you back into his chest, cradling your head ever so gently.

"t-thank you, bubby."

he smiled at the nickname. "no thank you's. now, lets get the little one back to sleep, how does that sound?"

"sounds good," you whispered.

"good girl," he turned off the lamp by his bedside table and got himself into bed with you clinging to him like a koala bear.

he simply chuckled as you looked up at him, pressing a kiss to his cheek. he could feel your heart beating against his chest, it was still a bit quick but not as fast as it was before which was a good sign. no more words were spoken from you but he kept uttering words of reassurance until your breathing slowed. his delicate voice and the feeling of his hand tapping your side lulled you to sleep in no time.

#daddy!bucky x little!reader #daddy!bucky #peter parker x little!reader #bucky barnes #daddy bucky #daddy bucky barnes #daddy!winter solder x little!reader #daddy!winter soldier #the spider kid's best friend au

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griffin-girl-r · 7 months

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You're not mine (Part 2)

Created: 10.10.2023

Finished: 15.11.2023

Edited: 15.11.2023

Age: 15

Word count: 2,793

Warnings: Abandonment, Pain

Request: Yes (Wattpad user)

Pairing: WinterWidow

Soldat = Soldier

Part 1 , Part 3

—

"Very good, soldier." A voice interrupted the brief silence that had fallen over the room "You have finally completed your training and you're now ready for a very special mission."

The man stepped forward, allowing himself to get a better view of the subject in front of him in the dimness of the room.

You lift your head, every breath coming out in labored breaths, as you took in the sight of the agent in front of you.

Today's training session has been more intense than any other one, demanding you to overuse your powers.

"And what that might be?" You breathed out, straightening your back

The agent smirked "Oh, I can guarantee that you'll love this mission." He sang

"Then I am ready for any mission the organization has for me." You replied, intrigued by all the mystery of this upcoming mission

"That's what we love to hear." The man declared "Then it's time for you to know the target of your mission."

The agent lifted his hand and held a file up, extending it for you to grab.

"You have all the details here." He declared

You curiously opened the file and peeked at the first page inside of it.

You swallowed the lump that formed in your throat unexpectedly but you tried to maintain your composure as the reality of your actions and the identity of your supposed target settled in.

"I can't." You mumbled, your voice betraying your inner turmoil, as you quickly passed the file back to your boss "This wasn't the deal."

The agent chuckled.

"This was very much the deal, young soldier." He coldly replied "As I can remember, this was the plan you asked our help for."

A shiver ran down your spine and the rhythm of your heartbeat quickened its pace.

"No." You hesitantly shook your head "I said I needed help to take my revenge on her." You explained "Not on all of them. Not on him."

"But why stop there?" The agent raised his eyebrow "Why would you want to take your revenge on just one person when you can take it on all of them?"

"Even if it was true, the others are still my family." You reasoned

"Your family?!" The agent shouted, immediately silencing you "Must I remind you that this so-called family of yours abandoned you, that they threw you away as if you were mere trash?"

"It doesn't matter, Sir." You held your ground "I am not going to kill the Avengers."

You blinked.

The agent grabbed you by your vest with such force that, for a second, you weren't able to process what was happening.

"Listen here, Y/N." The agent mockingly whispered your name "This is HYDRA, not that joke of an agency called S.H.I.E.L.D. you grew up in. Your mission is to kill all of the Avengers, starting with those traitors who are now called Natasha Romanoff and Bucky Barnes. Am I clear?"

"Sir..." You tried to conceal the fear you were feeling, failing miserably "Sir, this went too far. I'm sorry but I can't." You shook your head

A shout was heard and your body collided with the cold floor as the HYDRA agent pushed you with all his force.

"Y/N Yelena Romanova." The agent shouted "You have been ours long before Natalia Romanova decided to play pretend that she can be something she was never meant to be." He hissed "A mother."

You kept your mouth shut, too afraid of saying something that might anger the agent more as he continued speaking.

"She stole you from us, gave you another name, just for you to return on your own will to us and ask us for help to get your revenge on her." He reminded you "We took you in, trained you, gave you powers, all just so you could make her pay and now you dare to reject the opportunity to kill them?!"

"Sir, I just..." You tried to defend yourself

"Shut up!" He ordered "I am going to give you three hours to think about your answer just to show you that we can have some understanding towards our subjects and when I'll summon you back to me, I hope I won't regret giving you a chance."

You nodded "Yes, Sir!"

"Now disappear." He pointed with his head towards the door

You stood up from the ground and dusted your clothes before making your way to your assigned room.

~~~~~

Your heart pounded in your chest as you sniffled your fear away.

This was what you wanted after all.

This was what you needed.

You needed revenge and this was the only way you could achieve your goal.

Machines hummed and buzzed around you but you tried to not mind their noise as you were keeping your calm demeanor as a façade to protect yourself.

"Alright, subject." A man dressed in a white coat looked at you "Are you ready for this?"

You nodded, determination shining in your tired eyes "As ready as I can be. If this will help me prove to my mother that I can be useful too, then hurry up and do it."

"She's ready." Another man's voice was heard from somewhere inside the room but you couldn't tell exactly who spoke as the restrainents that kept you glued to the cold metallic table stoped you from looking

The man with the white coat pressed a few buttons and in a fraction of a second, pain flooded through your body as waves of electricity swirled around you, sending shocks flooding through your body.

Time seemed to stay still as you screamed out in agony out of pure reflex, your body spasming with each shockwave you received.

In that moment, buried memories resurfaced inside your mind.

You remembered the happier times and a pang of sadness weighed heavy on your heart.

But just as the good memories came to the front of your mind, so did the bad ones, reminding you of the true reason why you came to HYDRA for help.

The Avengers hate HYDRA and HYDRA hates the Avengers.

You hoped that by joining and serving the rival organization, you could make Natasha realize how wrong she was for treating you like she did.

You hoped to make them feel betrayed and rejected.

Just as you felt.

Darkness enveloped you, and your weakened body stopped spasming, but one thing remained clear as daylight to you.

You will take your revenge on your family for their betrayal by serving their greatest enemy, HYDRA.

~~~~~

You stared at the cement ceiling of your cell.

Your thirst for revenge was just as present as it was four months ago when you joined HYDRA.

The agent was right.

You wanted to kill the Avengers and make them pay for all of your suffering.

But still, one thing made you hesitate.

You sighed.

A memory of a smiling Tanya came to your mind and you remembered that she was as innocent as you were in this whole ordeal.

She deserved to grow up surrounded by the love of her parents as she has never done anything else other than loving you like her older sister who you actually were.

Then you thought of Bucky and the last memory you shared with him.

That fateful night, he had bought you a journal, hoping that it would help you manage your feelings better if you wrote them on the paper.

Comparing him to Natasha now, you realize that he was more of a parent to you than Natasha ever was.

How are you supposed to kill him?

Your door burst open and a security agent, who is in charge of maintaining order, walked inside your room.

"The boss calls you to him." He announced in a bored voice

You nodded "Tell him I am coming."

You stepped in the silence of the private office, allowing your senses to highen, as your eyes darted aimlessly around the room.

"I have been waiting for you." The voice of the man who had been in charge of your training was heard "Welcome!"

"I would thank you, Sir." You put your hands behind your back "But here doesn't exist such thing as being welcomed anywhere."

The man laughed.

"I see you learned the lesson." He smiled pleased "I hope you bring good news to me."

You kept quiet for a few moments, searching for a way to put your decision into words in such a way that HYDRA wouldn't decapitate you in a matter of seconds.

"So?" The man asked again, impatient

"Sir..." You began, taking your time to form every word that came out of your mouth "I am forever grateful for the chance you offered me and the resources you put at my disposal to achieve my ambitions."

The man slightly smiled, knowing that he had won.

"The Avengers have done me so many wrongdoings that I lost count of them." You continued "And after the time I have been granted to carefully choose the course I want for the next events to take, I came with the answer."

The man in front of you leaned backward in his chair, his body visibly relaxed as he waited for your final decision.

"I will..." You took a deep breath, steeling yourself "Not kill the Avengers, Sir. I am sorry, but I can't. They're my family no matter what."

The HYDRA agent shot up from his chair as his eyes went wide with shock.

"What did you say?!" He shouted, completely taken by surprise by your decision

"I said that I will not kill the Avengers." You repeated "I meant it when I said that everything has gone too far, Sir. Yes, I did want to take revenge on them, specifically my mother, but killing them was never my intention. All I wanted was to make them feel betrayed and hurt by becoming a HYDRA agent. Nothing more, nothing less."

"You foolish, lab rat!" The man sneered and pointed his finger at you "We created you! If you're here today it is all thanks to us! Our scientists were the ones who were in charge of creating you out of almost nothing! Now you dare defy us? You have the audacity to bite the hand that fed you?"

You looked around the room, trying to avoid the man's furious gaze.

"Please understand, Sir." You tried to reason "My heart and conscience don't let me murder the persons that saved me from hell and I realized that I made a mistake to return to the hell from where I've been rescued all these years ago."

The man calmly hummed "Hmm, so that's what you call it? A mistake?"

You braced yourself for what could happen next as you watched the man wave his hand at the shadows behind his back.

"I would call it a blessing." He said "You returned where you belong. To your true family and if your feelings stop you from taking action against your kidnappers, then we will help you gather the courage you need."

You shook your head, understanding what the agent's words meant.

"No..." You breathed out fearfully

But it was already too late.

Tanya sat on the carpet placed in the middle of the living room, playing with her toys, as she tried to distract herself from all the yelling that was happening in her surroundings.

"I am tired of your ignorance!" Bucky shouted at his wife, after he came back from another failed search mission where he tried to find you

"I haven't done anything wrong!" Natasha yelled back, her brain blocked in a phase of denial

"You did!" Bucky shouted "You did! You drove our child away! How could you do something like this, Natasha?!"

Natasha froze in place as her shoulders fell down.

She couldn't believe what she just heard Bucky say.

She refused to believe it.

"Natasha?" The woman asked hurt "Since when I am 'Natasha' for you?"

"Ever since Y/N went missing because of your recklessness and pride." Bucky shouted "My Natalia would have never done that to her own child. So, therefore, you are not my Natalia. You are not that girl I dreamed of having a family with."

"James, please." Natasha whispered, tears forming in her eyes "I am still the same Natalia you met so long ago."

Natasha reached to grab Bucky's hand but he pulled it away.

"Don't touch me." He said in a raised tone

Natasha sighed disappointed and nodded, pulling her hands back.

"You're mad." Natasha said "I get it."

"Mad is far from how I feel right now, Natasha." Bucky lowered his tone "I feel desperate because I am unable to find the child that has been entrusted in my protection and who knows where she is right now and what happened to her. She's just a child. You are the only one who failed to see this."

"James, just give me the chance to explain myself." Natasha pleaded "I beg you."

Bucky shook his head.

"I don't know what you have done to my Natalia but you are not the girl that made me remember how it feels to be human again." The man took a few steps backward before rushing out of the room, leaving his wife behind

Natasha fell on the couch, letting out a deep sigh, as she placed her head in her hands.

Tanya, that have been silently observing the argument between her parents, stood up, her toys forgotten on the soft carpet as she walked towards her mother.

"Mama?" Tanya cautiously called her mother

"What is it, baby?" Natasha sniffed, raising her head to look at her daughter

"Why hasn't Y/N come back yet?" Tanya innocently asked, still struggling to grasp the complexity of the situation "Is she still mad at us?"

Natasha thought about how to explain to a 5-year-old what was happening.

"I think she still is, Tatiana." Natasha lifted Tanya and sat her on her lap

"And Papa is sad because he couldn't find my sister, isn't he?" The little girl questioned sadly

Natasha guiltly nodded "Yes, sweetheart. That's why Mama and Papa are fighting."

Little Tanya looked down at her lap, her tiny eyebrows furrowing, as her mind tried to put her feelings into words.

Natasha gave Tanya time to speak at her own pace, not rushing her.

After a few minutes, Tanya looked up again at Natasha with eyes filled with tears.

"But Mama..." Tanya's high-pitched voice trembled "Why did you make Y/N go away? She is my sister. You never get mad at me cause I am your baby but Y/N is your baby too and you made her feel very sad. You always made her cry and I miss playing with her. She's the best big sister in the whole world."

A stray tear fell down Natasha's left cheek.

"Can you bring Y/N back home, Mama?" Tanya sniffed "Can you not get mad at her always? If Tanya is Mama's baby, then Y/N is Mama's baby too."

"I'm not sure, baby girl." Natasha let out a shaky breath, realizing her mistake "Mama messed up big time when she scolded Y/N/N."

"I know that Mama did bad." Tanya said "But Y/N is ours and she's my sister. She needs to live here with us."

"And she will, baby." Natasha said determined "I promise she will."

Tanya snuggled closer to Natasha's chest and sighed contently.

"I love you, Tanya." Natasha quietly declared

Tanya kissed Natasha's cheek before she quickly stood up and ran upstairs to her room.

Natasha stared at the open door that Tanya just walked out through, deeply lost in thoughts.

Her talk with Tanya had helped Natasha realize one important thing.

That Y/N was her baby no matter what and that she had made the biggest mistake in her life by doing what she did to Y/N.

And yet one question remains.

Where is Y/N?

"Soldat!" A voice said "Your orders are to kill the Avengers, our greatest enemies, and I want the heads of the traitors known as Natasha Romanoff and Bucky Barnes."

The man looked at the masked soldier he had created with pride, knowing that now, they would be invincible.

"Do you understand the command?" He asked sternly

"I am ready to comply." An emotionless voice replied

You stood tall, the black suit and gray vest you were wearing appeared even darker in the shadows of the private office as the mask that covered more than half of your face, perfectly concealed your identity.

The man smirked and pointed with his head towards the door.

You turned around and started walking.

Your mission?

To kill the Avengers.

—

Permanent taglist: @lizlil , @natsxwife , @froufrousnowman , @dannipotatoo , @ravensinthedaylight , @justarandomreaderxoxo , @theunchosenonee , @lovelyy-moonlight , @circe143 , @observeowl , @darkstar225 , @mmmmokdok , @halstead-severide-fan , @daggersquadphantom , @cherlenovix , @youralphawolf72

Story taglist: @graciegoeskrazy , @superforgottensoul , @marvels--slut , @louxbloom , @aubs444 , @notmeellaannyy , @amxrist , @k4t13l0u1s3 , @easybakeoven7 , @jackiehollanderr , @kaylaromanoff17 , @alldaysdreamers , @leoniaaasworld , @finleyfray , @almosttoopizza ,

#mama nat #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x daughter!reader #natasha x daughter!reader #natasha's child #natasha's kid #natasha romanoff x teen!reader #natasha x teen reader #natasha x baby!reader #winterwidow #bucky barnes x daughter!reader #bucky barnes

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thatsbucknasty · 7 months

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🫢😋🥵

#sebastian stan #winter soldier #bucky barnes #the arm vein?????#are you kidding me????

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writeyourdarlings · 3 months

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happy 3 year anniversary tfatws. the show that gives me so many emotional scene that left me sobbing ugly. the show that makes me love sam and bucky even more. the show that gives us cap sam🥺🫶🏻

cr: saintghafas on twt

#sambucky come home the kids miss u☹️#sam wilson #bucky barnes #tfatws #the falcon and the winter soldier

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fandomfluffandfuck · 5 months

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I'm thinking about Steve and Bucky being the mysterious neighbors to a little family crammed into a tiny Brooklyn apartment in the new century.

Like, they're always on missions, but otherwise, they keep to themselves--they've only just settled into a comfortable routine after getting each other back. So, this family has no idea that their neighbours are the Captain America and Winter Soldier. But, once, during a hilariously familiar summer blackout, the building is strangely silent. Time always seems to stop during a blackout. Steve and Bucky come out of their apartment, wanting to make sure everyone is alright. So, they bump into this little family for the first time, and the two kids from the neighboring family lose their minds.

Then, rather than going to the apartment building's roof to watch the stars until the lights come back on like usual, the kids spend it playing pretend with superheroes. Steve lets them take turns weilding the shield, playing hero. It makes Bucky heart ache to see them take turns giggling, wrapping themselves in tinfoil to be just like him... one of the good guys.

#what is it about stucky that makes me think about kids???#idk #i just think they're cute with babies #🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️🤷🏻‍♂️#bucky barnes #steve rogers #stucky #fic #fandomfluffandfuck

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nickfowlerrr · 6 months

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guiding light

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

words: 222

notes: ‘tis the season. in a bit of a writing slump still, but something has to give.

“I don’t know how to explain it, I just have this feeling. Like, like there’s someone out there... like someone’s watching me.”

There’s a long pause on the other end and you brace yourself for their response, to be told that it’s all in your head. But that’s not what you get.

“…Do you think it’s him?”

You take a sharp inhale as a shudder rolls over you, pulling your sweater tighter around yourself as you stare out the window - past the light post, into the shadows. Trying to peer deeper into the darkened woods surrounding you. Just maybe you’ll find a pair of ice blue eyes staring back.

You burn at the thought.

You clutch the phone, readjusting your hold on the receiver before responding, but you don’t get the chance to answer their question as the line suddenly cuts out.

Your breath freezes in your chest as your eyes quickly shift, scanning all around. You force a breath and slowly hang up the phone. All the lights are still on, and your music continues playing softly from the old record player. His record player.

The melodic voice of Bing Crosby is the only thing to be heard,

“Christmas Eve will find me

where the love light gleams.

I’ll be home for Christmas

if only in my dreams,”

…and then a creak.

#bucky barnes drabble #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x curvy!reader #dark or fluffly angst? the world may never know #actually who am i kidding ofc it’s fluffy angst #bucky barnes moodboard #my moods #bucky barnes christmas moodboard #bucky barnes

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agender-wolfie · 8 months

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Fem is not the default for fanfics and it’s not a woman’s only space. It’s also disrespectful not to tag your shit ☺️

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sarahowritesostucky · 3 months

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Happy Little Family

📖"A Clever, Tricky Little Kitty Cat: Just like her Mommy"

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 4407

Tags: dark!Bucky, mafia/mob au, dubcon/noncon, a/b/o, threats and coercion, rape, forced pregnancy, forced domestic "bliss", yandere, kid fic

Summary: You thought you'd left behind the man who turned out to be more dangerous than you'd ever imagined. But one day he walks back into your life and reminds you that, come hell or high water, you're all going to be one happy. little. family.

This chapter: Bucky shows up unannounced at your cottage, shattering the peaceful life you thought you'd reclaimed for yourself and your daughter. He's reclaiming what's his, and he isn't planning on accepting a "no."

Nickname Dictionary: vorishka = "little thief" mamochka = "mommy/little mother" kotenok= "kitty/kitten" omegya = (made up) Russian spelling of omega omegechka = (made up) "little omega" shlyukha = "slut" krasotka = "Pretty(n.)/pretty one"

1. A Clever, Tricky Little Kitty Cat, Just like her Mommy

"And then the knight took the princess away to his castle, and they lived happily ever after."

You're just outside the nursery when you hear his voice, and ice cold fear instantly floods your chest. You drop the laundry basket and run into the room, and there he is: seated in the chair you nurse from, reading one of the antique fairytale books that your mom gave at the shower, holding your baby.

"James," you breathe, horrified. He's been smiling down at June, but now his face smooths out as he looks up at you. He isn't frowning or glaring, but you know him, and there's a storm behind those eyes that makes dread curl heavy in your stomach. "Hi Doll," he says quietly. "It's good to see you again."

Your heart pounds in your chest. You feel sick. One wrong move and who knows what he'll do. You take a cautious step forward, eyes searching James' body and anywhere nearby for a gun. You don't see one. You take another step. "James," you warn,

June makes a happy gurgle at seeing you, and James coos down at her, "Aw, yeah Sweetie. I'm happy to see Mommy too."

Mommy. Hearing that word come out of his mouth, in a setting like this, is a nightmare you've woken from more than once. You lick your lips and hold out your arms, pleading, "Please give her to me."

He acts like he hasn't even heard you, smiling and tapping June's body with one finger. "We were just reading a story. Little lady is gonna be a big reader one day, I bet. Gonna grow up to be real smart." His gaze slides back to you, with what you interpret as a world-of-hurt-coming-your-way look glimmering in his eyes. "A clever, tricky little kitty cat. Just like her Mommy."

A whimper escapes you, unbidden.

June starts squirming in his lap, eager to get to you. When he doesn’t hand her over, she starts to fuss. He coos at her and bounces her in his arms to calm her, kisses the top of her head while keeping his somber, reproachful eyes on you. “You left your door unlocked,” he says. “She was alone.”

She’d been down for her nap when you went downstairs and popped across the street to visit with Hilde, your one friend in the world. It’s so common for mothers to do, in this tiny, Nordic village you’ve settled in. It’s the culture here. It’s supposed to be safe. You swallow thickly, eyes flitting around to try and think of what to do. You think of your gun, so far away. You’d talked yourself out of keeping it tucked behind your bed, so now the only weapon you own is down in the kitchen. But maybe … maybe if you can get him away from June …

“You should be more careful, Little thief. You never know who might break in and take everything you love.”

“The only thing we had to guard against here was you,” you hiss. “And I’m not fool enough to think a locked door would keep you out.”

“You’re damned right it wouldn’t.” He tosses the storybook aside like trash and stands up with June in his arms. “But you are a fool if you thought there was anywhere in the world you could go where I wouldn’t find you.”

You flinch forward compulsively, unable to think of your own safety over your baby’s. “Please, James,” you beg. “Please. Just give her to me.”

“Oh no, Dollface,” he purrs, voice deceptively soft. “We’ve got a lot of catching up to do, and you aren’t gonna want her in the room when it happens.” His hands tighten threateningly on June’s little body. “Whose baby is this?”

You blanch. “Don’t hurt her.”

“Aw. You don’t want me to hurt her?”

“No, please!” The sob that’s been working its way up in your throat finally breaks. It’s killing you not to rush forward and snatch her from his arms. “Please, I'll do anything.”

“Is that so?” He stares at you long and hard. The few seconds of silence are torturous as he holds your daughter away from you.

James is one of the deadliest people you’ve ever met, and he’s capable of horrendous violence, but he wouldn’t hurt a baby, that much you do know. What you have to worry about most right now isn’t him physically hurting her; it’s him wanting her, whisking her away right alongside you, when he inevitably takes you from this place. There’s nothing you can do to prevent your own fate, but if there’s anything you can do to keep him from getting his hands on June, you’ll do it. Your eyes flit around the nursery frantically, its pale, dream-like decorations taunting you as you try to think of what to do. It feels surreal to have a man like James standing in this room, feels wrong.

Your heart leaps when he suddenly moves, but he’s only turning to walk over to the crib, bending and placing June in it with a surprising amount of care. Something painful lances in your chest at seeing him handle her so gently, but when he turns back around to you, all of that gentleness is gone. “Come on,” he snaps. “To the other bedroom.”

You hesitate, not wanting to leave your daughter alone, but he stalks forward and grabs your upper arm, herding you out of the nursery and down the hallway. In your bedroom, he pushes you onto the bed. You land in a heap and scramble to prop back up on your hands, trying to swipe the hair out of your face.

“Whose baby is that?” he demands. “Tell me. I want to hear you say it.”

His Voice. God. After almost a year and a half it should be lessened. The pull you feel when you hear it has no right to tug at you the way it does. You’re not even mated, which makes it all the more insulting. It gets in through your ears and spreads throughout your body, like an invasive plant, growing and sinking its roots into you and tug, tug tugging on your will: Whose baby is that.

You fight the awful urge to tell him, as you rapidly, fearfully weigh your options. It’s hard to think when you’re so frightened, so taken aback. Most people might think it wise to admit the truth, but you know this man, this alpha, and you know he’ll never let her go if he knows that she’s his. Anything, you think. You have to do anything you can to keep her from that life, that world.

Heart in your throat, you insist, “Noone.”

“Noone?” His visage darkens. “Artificial insemination, then? I know they’re progressive and all up here, but don’t take me for a fool, mamochka.”

“It was just some guy! Just a one night stand, I swear!”

He surges in, gets one knee up on the bed and pushes you onto your back when you try to get up, leaning over you and holding you down by your shoulders. “So you did let another man fuck you,” he growls.

You jut your chin out and hiss, “Yes.” (Lying Rule #1: deliver your bullshit with confidence).

“Who? Was he alpha?”

“Why do you care? It was one night in Oslo.” (Rule #2: add in one or two unimportant details.)

“What’s. his. name?”

A bitter sound escapes you (Rule #3: attach honest emotion to it, if you can). “I don’t know his name. I never did. I was just racking up a roster, just wanted to get laid after getting away from you.”

He bares his teeth at you in a snarl, furious, and shoves you harder against the mattress. You cry out and try to hit him, but he catches your wrists and holds them down to the bed easily, shoving you again, one of his powerful thighs pressed up between yours. “You’re mine,” he growls, getting in your face, lying on top of you. “Noone else’s. Not ever.”

You whimper and nod, shaken and keenly aware of his body on top of yours, his strength. James is a massive hulk of an alpha, capable of overpowering you in any situation, and even through your frantic thoughts, you know you’ll never be able to get away from him in close contact like this. He’s so angry, his scent gone thick and choking. You’re too panicked to plan out what it is you’re going to say next, you just wind up instinctively trying to placate him, blurting out, “What do you want?”

He leers down at you. “I want what’s mine. What’s always been mine.” On your wrists, his fingers tighten cruelly. “You’ve had your fun now, and gotten away with it for too damn long. You’re coming home with me, Little thief.”

You gasp as the pressure on your wrists increases painfully, mind flying to that cold, Siberian fortress and the life that awaits you there. You might be able to get away from him before then, but you might not, and you can’t risk June being trapped there as well. “Okay, okay! I’ll go with you, I will. Wherever you want. Just … Please let me give her to the neighbor. Please.”

He smiles nastily down at you. “Oh, you don’t want her to come along? Another man’s pup?”

Tears press at the backs of your eyes at the thought of leaving your daughter behind, but you shake your head. “Please. Just take her over to the woman across the street. She’ll look after her. Please James, she's my daughter. I won’t fight you if you leave her there. She’s nothing to you. Just let her stay where it’s safe.”

Something in his expression shifts, but you don’t have time to figure out what the emotion might be, before he shutters again. He leans down and purrs, “Oh, I don’t know, vorishka [little thief]. You stole some very valuable things from me. And since I don’t see any fucking Picassos hanging in this hovel you call a house, I assume they’re in the wind.”

It wasn’t as though you’d simply been able to run away. Escaping had required finances, techniques, firms of dangerous men hired to plant false leads, erase tracks, ferret you away into oblivion, and then move halfway across the globe and buy yourself a new identity. The bribes alone had eaten up most of the money. You shudder in his grip, knowing that the paintings wouldn’t save you, even if you did have them. “They’re gone.”

“I know they’re gone, Little thief.” He shoves his thigh down against you. “So how are you gonna make it up to me?”

You whimper. “I can’t,” you plead. “James. I don’t have anything.”

“Oh, I don’t know about that. I can think of a few ways you can start repaying your debt.” He runs one hand down your side, groping your waist as he breathes softly against your ear: “For instance, do you have any idea what she’d be worth on the black market?”

It takes you a split second to figure out what he means, and your heart seizes in terror as soon as you do. You know James is involved in every type of shady, illegal dealing there is in the world, but you’d never even considered the idea of human trafficking. Now that he’s said it, you panic that you’ve made a huge mistake by lying that the baby isn’t his. “James,” you whisper, horrified. “Alpha, please.”

“Oh, it’s Alpha, now, is it?” He chuckles meanly, the sound making your stomach churn. You’re about to say something else, beg in some other, pitiful way, tell him he’s June’s father, but instead you cry out as his hand fists in your hair and yanks your head to the side. His breath hits hot against your skin and he drags his nose up the side of your neck, scenting you. “Mmm,” he hums darkly, pleased. “You spread your legs for another man, but you didn’t let anyone in here.”

You squeak when his teeth scrape over your still-unmarked glands. “No!” you gasp, just as much an answer as it is a plea for nim not to bite you. “I didn’t, I didn’—”

“Shut up,” he snaps, closing his teeth down on the spot. You whine as he pulls your hair and slowly increases the pressure of his bite, threatening to break the skin. Horrified, you feel your body responding with arousal, heat blooming deep in your core. You squeeze your eyes shut, and sure enough few seconds later James is inhaling deeply and chuckling. “Oh, kotenok [kitten]. Still the same as ever, huh?” He shifts, hand slipping down between your legs and cupping you from over the fabric of your dress. “Ripe for your Alpha’s touch, even after all this time. How sweet.” Humiliated rage bubbles up inside of you and you glare up at him. He’s looking down fondly at you, eyes heated and lip drawn into his mouth. He lets it slide back out between his teeth and murmurs, “It’s okay, you know. It’s everything to me, omegechka [little omega], the way you respond. It’s only natural.” You growl angrily, but he just hums and tugs your hair again, other hand molding to your mound and rubbing. “Shh sh sh,” he hushes, when you cry out louder. “Don’t want to scare the whelp, do you?”

You freeze, listening to try and hear June. She’s whining from over in her room, not understanding why she’s been left alone when she can hear her mommy’s voice just down the hall. “Please,” you whisper, locking eyes with James again. “Please. Let me go to her.”

He grinds the heel of his hand against you. “I told you, Dollface. You don’t want her here for this.”

He kisses you on the mouth, chaste and lingering; so gentle that for a split second it makes you ache for what you once had with him. James always was very good at making love to you, at lavishing you with a softness and a tenderness even in the darkest of times. But now you can only shiver underneath his weight, because you know that’s not what’s about to happen.

“Seventeen months, moya omegya,” he rumbles quietly, lips brushing yours with the words. “My bed suddenly cold, not knowing if you were alive or dead. Do you have any idea what that did to me?”

His tone of voice is so intimately familiar that it makes your heart clench, bringing back memories of a life you’ve fought so hard to put behind you. “Please,” you whisper. “Don’t do this.”

He tuts and shakes his head softly, as if he’s actually remorseful. “How this goes depends entirely on you. I want you to know that.” He hasn’t stopped working his hand against you, rubbing his palm against your clit and smiling at how you shudder beneath him and your body betrays you. You watch his nostrils flare as he smells the reaction he’s pulling from you against your will. “Sweet girl,” he coos. “You just can’t help it, can you?” You toss your head and screw your eyes shut, but he’s having none of it. He yanks your hair and hisses at you to open your eyes. “No,” he warns, once he’s got your attention. He moves back, getting up onto his knees and shrugging off his jacket. “You’re going to watch. The whole time.” His hands land on his belt, the buckle clinking as he opens it and undoes his pants. “I want to look right in your eyes while I take back what’s mine.” He shoves his pants down along with his underwear. His cock springs free, already hard and wet at the tip. A part of him that’s been inside you hundreds of times, probably. Something you’ve craved and debased yourself for.

Seeing it reignites your shame, but it’s the way you feel your cunt pulse and release a fresh wave of slick, that really makes you start resisting again. “Nnh!”

“Ah ah ah, Dollface. That’s not gonna work.”

“Nugh! Lemmo go!”

You fight, of course you do, but it’s almost worse that way, as it only points out how comically mismatched you are to him. He laughs at you and holds down your thrashing body, barely even grunting from the effort of subduing you. “Shh sh sh,” he hushes, chuckling breathily as he forces you down with one hand and strokes himself with the other. “I have to tell you, kotenok. I’ve been looking forward to this.”

“I hate you!” You manage to get a hand free and you flail, hitting and clawing at him. He inhales sharply as your nails scratch his face. He knocks your hand away with a surprised hiss and, wide eyed, touches the spot where a tiny line of red is welling up on his cheek. The next thing you know, he’s backhanding you, sending spots into your vision and knocking you out of your senses for a few seconds. Your ears ring and you blink, stunned.

His hand appears at your throat, squeezing, pressing up against the arteries. You briefly grapple with him, grabbing his forearm and fighting, but then his thumb notches into place and digs into your glands. Your cries taper off and you go limp with a pathetic, mewling whimper. “Nnnh …”

He leers down at you, adjusting his grip, still jerking his cock as he subdues you with the Hold. “Weak,” he says. “But that’s just how I like you.”

His thumb rubs in circles, sending a rush of liquid gold through your veins. It worsens the situation between your legs, and you can’t hide that any more than you can hide the humiliated tears that prick to your eyes as he shoves your dress up and rips your underwear straight off of you. He coos when he looks down and sees how wet you are. “Oh, omegechka.” He knees your legs further apart and drags his cockhead through your folds. “And this is you hating me?”

You shake with a silent sob, despising him with your whole being, hating yourself for reacting this way. Before James, you’d never met a man who coveted your omega nature so much, hadn’t known what it was to need an alpha that way, to have your body need him. And to think: you used to like it.

He lines himself up and sinks inside of you in one, unyielding push, forcing you to open to him, carving out his space inside of you. You cry out at the force of it, body clamping down hard and the delicate skin at your entrance stinging from the stretch, but he doesn’t stop until he’s fully seated. “Fuck,” he groans, grinding in deep, his pubic bone pressing against your clit, laughing darkly when it makes you squeal. “Oh, you sensitive?” He does it again, and again, doesn’t stop until he gets a high pitched, warbling moan from you. “Theere she is.” He digs his thumb in harder against your glands and stares right in your eyes as he watches the effect it has on you, soaking up the flush in your face and the furious tears welling at the corners of your eyes. “I know, Sweetheart, I know,” he murmurs. “You really can’t help it, can you?” You whimper and he nods along in mock sympathy. “Poor little thing. I can’t imagine what it must be like, to need it that bad.”

“James,”

He pulls out halfway and shoves back in, hard, rumbling in pleasure when it elicits another yelp from you. His other hand grabs at your waist, fingers digging into the soft give of your body. He hums dirtily. “I have to say, I’m pleasantly surprised. You look good for having just pushed out that pup. You look healthy.” You whine in protest and he fucks in hard again, baring his teeth in a mean smile. “Yeah, momma, you heard me.” He pulls out, thrusts back in.

“Ss-stop.”

He laughs. “Don’t be like that, krasotka [Pretty(n.)]. I like it. You always were too skinny for my taste.” He runs his hand from your waist up to the top of your dress, yanking it down along with the cup of your bra, and groaning when your swollen breast spills out. You squeal in rage as he curses quietly, eyes going molten and unfocused. “Fuck, Honey, look at you.”

You start thrashing again hard, trying to hit him, but you only get a glancing blow to the side of his head before he refixes his hand on your throat and clamps down in another Hold. He gives you a firm shake. “Settle down. I told you: I like it..”

“Nnn, fuck you!” You spit on him, but he only laughs and wipes it away, leering down at you and continuing gleefully,

“Shouldn’t be skinny like some damn underwear model. Mm mn, naw. Now you’re nice and soft, just like you should be. Somethin’ for Alpha to grab onto. Bitty waist and a fat ass.” He grabs your waist again and pulls you down into the next roll of his hips, changing the angle and hitting that spot inside of you that makes stars burst in your vision.

“Ah!”

“Mmhm. Right there baby? Yeah, thaat’s the spot. I remember.” He’s panting open-mouthed, breathless as he taunts you, “I remember everything. What you like. How you feel. The sounds you make. Fuck.” He shoves into you hard and holds there, his licked-red lips curling up wickedly. “Your cunt’s fluttering around me, Sweetheart. Clamping down so fucking hard.”

“Nnh!”

He laughs, but his smile slackens as his own pleasure continues to build. He angles back and looks down your body, stares at where his cock is disappearing inside of you with lewd, wet sounds. “Shit, momma. And this pussy snapped back real good, didn’t it?”

You cry out angrily, but it’s what he wants: to see you aroused and humiliated and furious at him. He sets a punishing pace, his hips slamming against you hard on the end of each, brutal thrust; his open belt and the zip of his fly digging into your ass every time he grinds inside. “You haven't been fucking anybody,” he says smugly. “How long’s it really been, mamochka? Hm? How long since another man was in this cunt?”

You moan miserably, his cock driving hard against your walls, too rough but not painful enough to keep it from feeling good. James is big, has an alpha’s cock, and it’s never been a physical possibility for him to be inside of you and not rub against every spot that makes your body light up in pleasure. You shake your head and try to close your eyes, but he pushes his hand up harder underneath your jaw, shaking you. “Uh uh. Look at me.”

You can’t fight off the command of his Voice, not when he’s already dominating you so completely. Your eyes open against your will, full of tears, and he rumbles in satisfaction.

“Better.”

Every whimper and mewl you make drives him on, stoking the angry satisfaction that’s burning in his eyes—eyes that you can’t look away from as you cry out again and again, little “Ah, ah, ah's” that interrupt the cadence of your skin slapping together, all of his eager growls and satisfied grunts.

“That’s it, shlyukha,” he pants, hips snapping in hard, again and again. “You—ugh—you let Alpha know how good that feels. Don’t hold it back from me.” His breathing is getting heavier the closer he gets, his composure and even his anger losing some of their hold as he fucks you harder, sinks down on you farther, covers you with his body fully as he ruts into you in pursuit of his climax. “Shit,” he hisses not far from your ear, face stuffed in your neck.

You keen high in your throat at his proximity to your bonding glands—a plaintive sound that directly contradicts the panicked ‘no!’ that flashes in your brain. His hand leaves the front of your neck and scoops around behind instead, gripping you at the nape in a Scruff that feels just as toe-curlingly right as the Hold had.

For a very split second, his breath hitches and his growling trips into a needy whimper. “O-oh …” And that’s when you feel it: his knot starting to catch on the end of each thrust.

“Ah!” You cry out sharply and grab onto him, helpless to keep your body from seeking out more, from clinging to him and clamping down hard as his knot grows and triggers you into orgasm. “Hhgnn …”

He goes feral when he feels your body locking down on him, growling and shoving in and grinding to ensure that he catches inside and ties you together. His hand abandons your neck entirely as he gives in to the instinct to rut, both arms wrapping around your waist, scooping under your back and holding you still for him to fuck furiously against. The tug of his knot inside your cunt makes you sob and come harder, losing sense of yourself as the pleasure cuts through you like a knife.

“Fuck, fuck, ohhfuck …” The sound of his deep voice, so lost in the desperation and helplessness of his own pleasure, makes your belly flare hot with new arousal even as you’re coming down the other side of it. You gasp and pant, and eventually whimper as the bliss dissipates and you become more aware of him on top of you, grunting and groaning and fucking into your tie as he rides out the long, debilitating climax of an alpha.

You keep your eyes closed and cry, hating that it still feels good as he fucks into you, grinds down on your clit and gives your another orgasm, and another. You wait for him to finish as your brain fills with the high that comes after, that unavoidable pink cloud that you know is going to seal your fate and make you helpless to him for the next thirty minutes, at least. You squeeze your eyes shut and turn your head in the direction of the pillows.

As the high starts to take you, you think about how, if you’d just kept your gun holstered behind by the headboard like you’d planned, you could be blowing his brains out right about now.

A.N.: Soooo ... This is the rape-iest thing I've ever ever written. I hope y'all are okay. Just wanted to drop a note to let you know that this fic WILL lighten up and not be quite so, well, rapey, in the future. Thanks for reading! 💖Sarah

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