#but I also don’t wanna spend £6 on a train ticket

[kissmefriendly]

I really look forward to my support group meetings but by god I don’t want to go to the support group. Ya know?

[cottoncandyruby]

I was gonna do more lil updates for MythiCon but the journey here has been so tumultuous all I’ve wanted to do is sleep and scream 😂

I forgot how to do read more on tumblr so just scroll by if ya don’t wanna read aha

"Anticaption, Aviation & Allergies"

Part 1. A little trip to Dublin

Of course the shortest part of my trip would be the easiest. So my mum and I were up at 3 am got a very expensive taxi, cos there were no trains, to the closest airport. Lingered there until our flight left at 8. I was so excited even though I’ve been on a plane before when I was small, I had no sensory memory of it or anything so the sensation of flying was like woo.

Tis a very short flight to Dublin, like an hour and I had a window seat so the absolute dream 😍. (Also that's like the only picture I took because I forget to take pictures)

Part 2. Dublin to New York

So we had to chill in the airport for 4 ish hours, we shared some BK chips cos airport food is overpriced lol. Anyways, it all chill until we get called to the lil reception people by the gate and they wanna look at our info and we don't know why or what the issue is. We booked this trip through booking.com but it is unclear what info actually went through lmao. They change something on our tickets and we get moved seats (?) And then it's all fine.

We end up talking to this Irish lady who travels for work and tell her about our super fun New York layover; it's 14 hours, we were very excited that we could go explore New York in the later afternoon/evening cos the only thing we anticipated doing was attending MythiCon. The lady's like "Oh....14 hours" with an obvious, "honey something went wrong" face.

Part 3. The New York Flight

We get on the plane to New York and we are on the exit row where you have to verbally confirm that in an emergency you will be able to open the door and help people get out, no pressure right?! I am on the aisle seat, my mum the middle and our new friend Steven(?) is in the window seat.

This flight lasts 7 hours and I spend the entire time reading the first LotR book cos I can't hear Steven for shit, airplanes are loud y'all, and avoiding eyecontact with bathroom users who are queuing up in front of us cos the loo is directly opposite. I made the mistake of wearing, what i used to call, my comfy jeans and I'm a big girl with some thicc thighs and oof ma legs had no circulation.

Steven talks my mums ear off for near 6 of the 7 hours in which she sparingly looks at me for ways out of the conversation or for me to join in, and I genuinely cannot hear him but also the whole ordeal is hilarious to watch. Except Steven thought we were a couple and I am realising I will have to spend the whole of MythiCon reinstating that I am travelling with my mum not my partner. Gosh.

Part 4. Newark, not New York

We arrive and Frodo, Sam, Pippin and Merry have just left Tom Bombadil and we realise we are not getting out of this airport. We retrieve our bags, my suitcase is slightly broken and won't stand up properly but we move. A very nice woman informs us we won't be able to store our luggage anywhere and that our flight which leaves at 6 am, we arrive at 4pm in New York by the way, won't be open for check-in until 3.30 am.

So, we must keep our luggage with us at all times and journeying into New York is suddenly much less appealing. I am also internally reeling from the disappointment of not going up the Empire State Building which was something I thought my mum had booked but no. Anyways, I don't wanna walk around New York with my suitcase but the other big issue besides the prospect of sleeping in the airport is Mielle Rosemary and Mint Hair Oil.

Here be some context before I continue:

I am biracial. My mama's white and I have no connection to my relatives of colour wherever they may be. So, despite being black I have lived a very white experience (still had the racism and all the shit but anyways) for y'all readers of colour or informed folx, you will know afro hair requires different products and care to white hair. I have slowly become aware of this over the last 5 or so years. I have never had a protective style and the town over from me is more diverse than where I live and has afro hair salons. So, I boldly book in for Goddess Locs cos I'm Jamaican and they look pretty and why not spice things up before going on a 33 hour flight?

Unlike as specified in the booking information for this hair it is not 30 minutes but 8 hours and not 55 quid but 85 and its this very rude 19 year old doing my hair. She puts some spray on and recommends I put hair oil on to keep my scalp hydrated. This is the Sunday before we leave. We get the flight to Dublin on the following Wednesday morning.

On Monday, I purchase the aforementioned hair oil. My hair feels a little itchy and I cannot tell if it is mild discomfort because of the weight of the locs or the spray she's used. So on the Tuesday night my mum liberally applies the hair oil across my entire scalp, a lil bit runs down my back across my face etc.

I wake up Wednesday morning, it still itchy.

....

We do the Dublin flight, the New York flight and when we land in Newark I am starting to feel very sick and my head feels warm to the touch. It could be from lack of sleep but fainting is imminent so we take the AirTrain to Penn Station and purchase some antihistamines. We see a sign for Madison Square Garden and head back to the airport.

We awkwardly finagle ourselves into a bathroom stall with our suitcases and my mum gets some nail scissors out from her suitcase and cuts my 85 pound hair off of my head. My scalp and more clearly my hairline is covered in bumps. I dont have phobias well except arachnophobia but hives and bumps make me feel sick. So I could not touch my head and boy I wanna scream and cry, I know that I must look as awful as I feel.

We remain in the airport til our flight, I get no sleep, my mum dozes off awkwardly on the chairs and my head gradually stops hurting but is still hot and itchy. The nausea abates over time.

Part 5. New York to Austin

Flight is smooth, my mum sleeps the whole way and I listen to music and half watch ParaNorman with no sound on cos I'm a multitasker.

Our flight is early, and we had booked a driver (which felt so posh) and Austin airport is lovely looking I must say. Anyways, our flight is an hour early so we sit in the pick up bit for am hour gettin chilly. Our driver arrives when he was scheduled to around 10.30 and says he'd been waiting for ages because he saw the flight was updated. Immediately felt guilty aha but he was nice. My mum woke up with a headache so I'm doin most of the talking.

The drive to the hotel is exciting, we passed by so many beautiful houses. Its so much more colourful than I thought, not that I had a whole bucket of ideas about Texas' aesthetic.

The hotel is tall, brown ish and angular. Inside its kind of intimidating but to the right of the entrance my eye catches this big sign for MythiCon and they've got a little reception area fashioned with all the merch Mythical Beasts get when they arrive which I'll post pictures of separately but it's lovely looking. The posters are huge and I fear they will be crumpled on the way back but c'est la vie.

We go to reception after being armed with Mythical Merch and they have shuttle buses runnin' to and from Stat Hill Ranch so my mum and I make a mental note to catch the earliest one which is at 2.30pm today ahhhh.

Anyways reception. Everything's going fine, despite my email the dude respects my chosen name which is very satisfying after being called ma'am several times awoke the gender angst in me. He asks for a small deposit of 225 bucks.

Side note - My mum and I are bad with money. We know she'll have got paid Friday morning for work and that that will cover Mythicon expenses. By the time we get to the hotel, we only have 100 dollars.

My mum calls my nan, I message my best friend, who graciously send us the money and 30 minutes later we are through. Check in was advertised at 4pm (it's around 11 ish when we arrive) but one moment of good luck allows us a room early. He might've just pitied us I don't know. I hate money, I hate capitalism. I know im saying this after having spent so much to just get here but that wasn't even money we had and it feels like we're being reminded of how we don't deserve to be here I don't know. It was very humbling anyways, and I could tell my mum wanted to cry and I was ready to zone out but it got sorted.

We get into the room, I'll share some pictures later cos it is nice in here. I go into the bathroom and do what I usually wind up doing when I hold stuff in and start to cry, a bit from the malaise of travelling its been over 24 hours and I've not slept, a lot from the continuous bad luck, and the rest for the renewed discomfort of the hair oil on my head.

The mirror confirms one thing which is I look abysmal. The product she used on my hair has fried and looks like dandruff, my skin is blotchy, and it's a big oof. I get in the shower to wash out the oil...consequently, I wash it onto my skin and the rest of my body. I bawl whilst doing so.

My hair starts to cool as I dry off but my body starts to swell. My already thicc thighs be getting thiccer, my hands and feet swell. My body, limbs specifically have a veneer of numbness like when you fall asleep on your arm and it takes a while to get any feeling back. It's a bit concerning but I take another antihistamine and finally sleep.

We had planned on exploring last night but we did not go anywhere beyond our room.

Part 6. Fog and Furtive (?) Optimism

Today the bumps on my head feel smoother, I'm still swollen but less so and I am very thirsty. It has been a heck of a journey but if it is the price to pay to see Rhett and Link up close and personal I'll do it.

But I had to rant and feel sorry for myself on the internet first.

If you read this to the end I would like to both thank you and apologise. I am manifesting that things will only get better from here.

This weekend is gonna be Mythical!

[nervousforbirds]

booked my train tickets to and from my pittsburgh to dc ride and im just gonna book places to sleep as i go bc i wanna give myself the freedom.

i need to stop buying things this summer bc my brother and i are paying for my parents to go to vietnam this november.

i also need to just save money bc i am going to work less once school starts and even tho i’ll have money left, im sure it won’t be much left once i get myself a laptop/keyboard/mouse/monitor set up. people work less in the summer too and i haven’t super accounted for that.

finally getting tattooed by artist i look up to but it’ll def be a lot compared to what im used to but at least i should make a lot that weekend like i did last year.

books open later for both artists than i thought but at least i will also stop paying for parking soon so i will save a lot of money through that and i should be making a good amount of money taking care of dennis’s cat while he’s gone in june.

i wish i was better at planning but i just need to focus on saving and getting strong and building my endurance to bike 350ish miles in 6 days. i have a schedule in mind but i have some tattoo days and i still need to get my painting for conrad framed. i need to get it together!!! and stop spending money i don’t really have!!

[dejwritesarchived]

Hey dej how you doing pretty? So, I love to watch anime but I also wanna read the mangas too ya know (but atm I can’t afford to buy the books so I look for them online). So someone who’s a heavy anime watcher Ik they skip out parts and arcs in anime so therefore I want to read them in mangas and and you seem to watch anime and keep up with the mangas, so I got questions!

So if I’m on season 6(on crunchyroll) of MHA (this the part when shigaraki awoke from the liquid chambers) , but I wanna read it on the manga what chapter do you recommend I start?

Another question is, if I’m on season 2 of fire force what chapter do you recommend I start?

Last question! If I’m on the mugen train arc (this is after tengen defeated the demon) on demon slayer do you know what chapter to start?

Sorry this was a lot of questions but I hope you have a good day! 💗💗

i’m not sure about mha because i no longer watch it and didn’t read the manga. but if anyone knows the answer to the mha one, pls reblog or comment below. 💗

fire force, you start on chapter 174. it starts off right after the events from season 2. i believe for demon slayer, it’s chapter 98. but don’t quote me on that one. i do know in some cases there are movie viewings for the first episode of the new season (they also show events that happened prior) but it’s really no point to go spend your money on a movie ticket unless you’re extremely eager to go see it because the new season starts in april.

[marauderundercover]

This Side of Normal Ch. 6

Prev

AO3

Jason walks into the hospital room, heart breaking at the sight. Adrien, a huge bandage covering what was left of his arm and part of his shoulder. And next to him… This wasn’t supposed to happen. He was supposed to be there to make sure the kids didn’t get hurt. Instead, Ladybug- no, Marinette, he reminded himself. She had told him her name through sobs as he held her on the roof after they gave their statements to the police. Marinette blamed herself. He could see it in everything she did, the way she responded to people, her body language around Adrien and Jason. He knew she blamed herself. But she shouldn’t. She wasn’t the one who had been trained to fight villains like that. Villains willing to kill kids to get ahead. But Jason was trained. He was supposed to be prepared and know what to do. But now, Adrien would have to relearn how to do everything with just one arm. Sure, he could get a prosthetic, but that wouldn’t be for several weeks. And even if he chooses to get a prosthetic, he’d have to relearn everything. Again. And it was all because Jason couldn’t save him. He couldn’t save anyone. Jason turns to leave, not ready to talk to the boy who lost an arm because Jason wasn’t fast enough.

“Jay?” A soft voice from the bed calls, making Jason freeze. Whirling around, he rushes over to the bed, immediately looking the boy over to see if he’s okay. 

“Hey kiddo, how ya feeling? Are you- I’m so sorry.” Jason rambles, falling onto the spare chair next to Adrien’s bed. A chair that should’ve held a parent. If Gabriel wasn’t a piece of shit supervillain who cut off his own son’s arm and kept his wife’s corpse in a hidden basement. Yeah, that investigation must’ve sucked. 

“It’s weird.” He says, and Jason frowns at the tears filling the boy’s eyes. “My arm hurts, Jay. Really bad. But every time I try to hold it, or move it to a position that doesn’t hurt- it’s not there.” 

“Oh kid.” Jason clamps his mouth shut, determined to not let the kid hear his voice cracks, determined not to let the kid see him cry. What did he have to cry about? He’s the one that wasn’t good enough to protect these kids. Jason leans forward and gently wraps his arms around Adrien, letting the boy sob into his shoulder. Holding onto a sobbing Adrien, Jason’s able to see Marinette wake up and instantly leap into a fighting position. When she notices him, she relaxes slightly, until she sees the crying boy. Then her face morphs into pain and she backs up away from the bed, wrapping her arms around herself. 

“Mari?” Adrien says, pulling away from Jason and sniffling. 

“I’m so sorry Adrien. It’s, it’s all my fault.” She says, still keeping her distance. Jason sighs and stands, moving across the room in two large strides and wrapping her into a hug. She stiffens for a moment before basically collapsing in his arms. Jason just holds her and lets her cry, just as he let her on the roof two nights ago. After years of not being able to feel anything other than happy, Jason would support these kids and encourage them to feel. Even if it hurt. They deserved to feel. 

---

Sitting and talking to Adrien about anything and everything after school had become a daily occurrence for Marinette. Jason walking her from school to the hospital had also become a daily occurrence. So walking by herself was weird. Doable, because she was Ladybug and could walk across Paris alone, but still weird. Especially since Jason was so insistent on her being more careful now that Hawkmoth- Gabriel- was behind bars. Jay was convinced that that meant that the regular, run of the mill bad guys would come back out of the woodwork now that they didn’t have to deal with possible akumas. Regardless, that hadn’t happened yet and she could easily walk by herself. It was still weird though. Walking into the hospital, Marinette frowns at Jason who was pacing and rapidly arguing with someone on the phone in English. Quickly reminding herself that, no he wouldn’t be akumatized, and yes, he was allowed to have negative feelings, she moves so that she’s in his line of sight. Making eye contact with him, she raises an eyebrow as a silent question. He frowns, but doesn’t do anything else except nod towards Adrien’s room. Rolling her eyes in annoyance at his avoidance, Marinette lets herself into Adrien’s room, smiling softly at her friend. The first two days after the battle, she could barely look at him. She blamed herself completely and didn’t feel like she was worthy of being his friend anymore. Now, almost a week after the battle, she still blamed herself. But it was easier to look at him, easier to talk to him.  

“Hey kitty.” She says, walking over and sitting in the chair on the left side of his bed. 

“Hey bug. Jay still on the phone?” He asks, and that’s when she notices the tell-tale signs of worry on his face. 

“Yeah...how long has he been on the phone?” She asks, frowning at his wince. 

“Well, he tried to ignore the person the first three times they called. And then he finally answered, said ‘leave me alone’ and hung up. And then they called again, and that’s when the yelling and arguing started and he left the room. That was…” He trails off, looking towards the clock on the wall. “Almost two hours ago.” “Two hours? On the phone? You don’t think he’s in trouble, do you? I mean, I know he has a life back where he lives, and I’m sure his boss is probably getting frustrated with him. But-” Marinette stops herself, not wanting to say something selfish. She knew that Jason had a life outside of Paris. But he was the only grown up to care that Ladybug and Chat Noir were just kids, that they needed help. He was the one to make sure they weren’t spending too much time being heroes and not enough time sleeping and doing homework. He was their big brother, and she wasn’t ready to say bye yet. Even if they could still call him. It wasn’t the same.

---

Jason Todd was livid, and for the millionth time that week, thankful that Gabriel Agreste was rotting in a prison cell instead of manipulating people who were having a bad day. Cause this was not a good day. 

“B, I’m not sure what you want from me.” He finally huffs out, glancing towards Adrien’s shut door. 

“I just want to know why you haven’t returned. Dick informed me of the flooding your first day, and how things seemed to magically fix themselves. You told us that everything was taken care of, and then you stopped answering any questions about the situation. Seeing as there is apparently no immediate danger to anyone there, I think it’s time you returned home. You have responsibilities here, Jason. Your family is here.” Bruce says simply, and Jason has to bite his tongue from arguing. How was he supposed to tell Bruce about these kids who needed support that they weren’t getting anywhere else. That there were two young superheroes in Paris who needed someone to understand what they were going through, since they couldn’t (or wouldn’t) tell anyone else? Bruce would have adoption papers written up in minutes, and taking the two from their city didn’t seem right. Plus he would never let Bruce adopt them, the kids had enough emotional baggage to deal with without being a Wayne. 

“I just haven’t, Bruce. I’m a grown man. I-” “You have responsibilities, Jason. I let you take this vacation because I could see you needed it. But now we need you. I- your brothers miss you.” Bruce says, and Jason rolls his eyes at the man’s inability to be emotional. He would’ve done great in Hawkmoth’s Paris. 

“Okay, I’ll start looking for a ticket. I should be home in two or three weeks-”

“I’ve already ordered a ticket for you. Your flight leaves Paris at noon tomorrow. See you then.” Bruce says, hanging up before Jason has the chance to argue more. Not that he had the energy after going back and forth between arguing with Dick and Bruce for two goddamned hours. Resisting the urge to throw his phone against the wall, Jason takes a couple deep breaths to ground himself. No need to upset Mari and Adrien and if he goes in there pissed off, they’re gonna get upset. Shaking his head to try and clear it, Jason throws open Adrien’s door, grinning at the two, sitting side by side on Adrien’s bed. 

“Pixie Pop, you’re gonna piss off the nurse if she sees you up there again.” He says, walking over to his usual chair. 

“You’re upset.” She says, instead of arguing and reminding him that she can take anything the nurses can dish out (they’d had the exact conversation yesterday….and the day before.) Jason blinks, acting confused. 

“Don’t even try and act like you’re not Jay. Mari’s scary good at reading people.” Adrien says with a frown. Jason huffs and rolls his eyes. 

“Yeah, okay, I’m pissed.” He admits, slumping back in his chair and crossing his arms. Marinette turns to Adrien and whispers something to him, Adrien nodding before she turns back to look at him. 

“You’re gonna need our phone numbers.” She says, and Jason frowns in actual confusion this time. 

“Gonna need a little more than that, Pix.” He says. 

“Well, we knew that you’re not from here. And that eventually you’d have to go back. I mean, I’m sure your boss wasn’t planning on you taking a vacation quite this long. But-” Marinette pauses and lets out a shaky breath. “But neither of us want to lose you. You care about both sides of us, and you’re the only one. You’re our big brother, Jay, but we both know that you have another life somewhere else. And I’m sure those people miss you too. I mean, you’re kinda cool or whatever.” Marinette teases, but he can tell behind the smirk that she’s close to tears. Jason sighs and stands, bringing both of them into a big hug. 

“I don’t wanna leave, ya know.” He mumbles, frowning when he feels his shirt getting wet from tears. 

“I know. But you have to. And that’s okay. It’s not goodbye forever.” Marinette says, her voice breaking as she holds onto him tighter. 

“Expect a lot of calls and face times. Especially once I get my arm. I have so many jokes to make, you’re gonna be sick of it.” Adrien says, and despite the joke, Jason can tell the boy is crying too. Jason squeezes a little tighter, accepting the fact that he’d be leaving. And that he wasn’t sure when he’d see the two again.

Next

Tag list (open): @toodaloo-kangaroo @laurcad123 @kittenmywaythrulife @lost-in-the-world-of-maribat 

[whatiwillsay]

Tily Timeline that I have so far

This is more for you to use for your pod ep than for publishing I just didn’t know where else to put it…

11/12/13: VSFS 2013 rehearsals - Taylor meets Karlie and Lily

11/13/13: VSFS 2013 show

5/5/14: 2014 Met Gala - Taylor and Karlie get ready together, Taylor, Karlie, and Lily all leave together

2/25/15: 2015 Brit Awards - Taylor, Karlie, and Lily all attend. This is the last public Kaylor interaction until June due to Kissgate fallout.

3/23/15: Lily Aldrige tags Taylor in an IG post of the song Twilight by Elliot Smith, which contains the lyric “But I’m already somebody’s baby” >> idk what this means but I feel like it’s important

6/19/15: 1989 tour in Chicago, Taylor brings Karlie and Lily onstage with her

10/14/15: Suki posts a picture of a version of the squad (Suki, Taylor, Cara, Lily, Karlie, Zoe, and Serena Williams)

5/2/16: Taylor writes King of My Heart

9/12/16: Karlie photographed leaving Taylor’s Cornelia St Apartment

9/17/16: Taylor records Gorgeous

September 2016: Don’t Blame Me, Endgame, Ready For It, and So It Goes all recorded (all must’ve been written before this point)

10/12/16: Kings of Leon concert - Taylor and Lily attend together. Joe is also there.

10/13/16: Karlie, Taylor, and Lily go to a party at the Bowery hotel. Joe is papped leaving the party. That night, Taylor goes home and films herself writing Gorgeous (assumptions have been made that it was about Joe but my theory is that maybe this was about Taylor seeing Lily as more than a friend fro the first time???)

10/31/16: Halloween Party – Taylor and Lily both attend. Karlie does not.

11/7/16: Lorde’s birthday party - the last time Taylor and Karlie are seen in each other’s presence until the Rep tour in 2018.

11/19/16: Polaroid of Taylor taken with “How would you feel having a song written about you?” written on it in red pen.

11/24/16: Thanksgiving - Taylor is on Lily’s snapchat driving her around, Taylor posts Lily on her IG and says she’s thankful for her, Lily and other friends spend Thanksgiving with Taylor and her family.

December 2016: Taylor goes on social media blackout >> “I recall late November, holding my breath / Slowly I said / ‘You don’t need to save me / but would you run away with me?’”

12/6/16: Karlie in London

12/13/16: Karlie posts a birthday post for Taylor while in Australia.

1/3/17: Taylor diary entry from London: “I get all scared about the future because so much has changed in the last year of my life. I mean this time last year I was living in LA, getting ready for the Grammys, and now I’m essentially based in London, hiding out, trying to protect us from the nasty world that just wants to ruin things. We have been together and no one has found out for 3 months now. I want it to stay that way because I don’t want anything about this to change or become too complicated or intruded upon. But it’s senseless to worry about someday not being happy when I am happy now. Ok. Breathe.” >> this feels like the direct inspiration for the song Call It What You Want

1/8/17: Taylor shoots the I Don’t Wanna Live Forever MV in London secretly

1/27/17: Taylor wishes Lily happy birthday on IG.

2/17/17: Lily posts an IG story of her cooking, Taylor’s voice can be heard in the background.

April 2017: Taylor sells her Cornelia St apartment.

5/17/17: Joe and Taylor are photographed on a balcony in Nashville and go public right before Taylor puts her music on Spotify.

Mid 2017: When Reputation was originally supposed to be released.

8/3/17: Reputation is released, Lily posts an IG story in support.

11/8/17: Karlie presents Taylor with the CMA award for Better Man.

12/11/17: Taylor stunts with Joe two days before Reputation ticket sales start, as people speculate Taylor won’t be able to sell tickets.

1/26/18: Lily disappears from social media.

February 2018: Karlie and Taylor both in Big Sur at the same time.

4/13/18: Taylor covers September, changes the lyrics to “28th night of september”

6/18/18: Taylor records “Lover” >> must’ve been written at this point.

6/23/18: Reputation at Wembley. Lily is in the audience, as well as Joe and his family.

7/5/18: Taylor and Joe take pap pics in Turks and Caicos.

7/9/18: Taylor and Joe pap pics published, same day The Favourite trailer drops.

7/10/18: Taylor likes a quote on tumblr that reads “For what it’s worth; it’s never too late to be what you want to be. I hope you live a life you’re proud of, and if you find that you’re not, I hope you have the strength to start over.” - F Scott Fitzgerald. >> Could be for Lily OR Karlie but I’m leaning towards Karlie

8/25/18: Reputation in Nashville, Karlie has her bachelorette party the same day, possible Kaylor hookup, Taylor tells the crowd that it’s looking “absolutely gorgeous”

10/18/18: Karlie and Josh get married while Taylor’s on a plane to Australia

12/7/18: Taylor moves into Franklin St Apartment in New York

December 2018: Taylor writes The Man >> “getting bitches and models”

January 2019: Taylor writes Afterglow, It’s Nice to Have a Friend, I Forgot that You Existed

Jan 2019 - Feb 2019: Taylor in London filming Cats

April 2019: Taylor writes Death By a Thousand Cuts

6/10/19: Lily returns to social media.

June 2019: Taylor writes London Boy

7/1/19: Masters heist

9/3/19: Taylor covers “can’t stop loving you” which has the lyric “so you’re leaving in the morning on the early train” which is very similar to cardigan’s “stepping on the last train / marked me like a bloodstain” >> if cardigan is about lily they are likely over by this point

I hope this helps with whatever you have! I added when we have some confirmed songs being written in this timeline so you have them. Some of this is……… so messy. I can’t fully tell when Tily ended and Kaylor 2.0 began again so let’s hope you can figure it out!

[tazrider]

Allez, pour ta peine : nombres pairs ! Tous.

Ah la vache... Ca fait beaucoup T_T Here we go!

2. How old are you? Between 20 and 40 but not halfway. Might be a multiple of 7. Or not...

4. What is your zodiac sign? Taurus. Been told it’s very fitting...

6. What’s your lucky number? Don’t have a lucky number but I like 3 (dates back to when I first read The Black Stallion when I was a kid and Alec and Black had the number 3 during their first race XD).

8. Where are you from? France, from where France fists Belgium XD (yep that’s a saying here).

10. What shoe size are you? Fucking way too small for my liking, it’s hell to find shoes my style... (37 or 6.5).

12. What was your last dream about? Something super weird (I always have super fucking weird dreams) but I don’t really remember this one. I don’t keep a log on dreams, seems too much work because it always swings between super weird and nightmares so not like it matters much...

14. Are you psychic in any way? Huh nope and don’t believe in these things.

16. Favorite movie? The Fifth Element, it’s not a great movie but it’s like a Madeleine de Proust and takes me back to simpler times. Also fucking funny, sci-fi and awesome music, what’s not to like?

18. Do you want children? Man, kids make me uncomfortable as hell. I prefer horses XD.

20. Are you religious? Absolutely not. I only believe in science and there’s no room in there for an hypothetical superior force, that’s supposed to be all love and shit and yet lets the world in that state.

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law? Ah, unless you count speeding tickets as getting in trouble with the law...

24. Baths or showers? Showers.

26. Have you ever been famous? LOL nope and don’t wanna be.

28. What type of music do you like? Ooh tricky question, I have rather eclectic tastes in music. Ranges from ancient music and baroque (I love harpsichord, learned to play the piano when I was younger) to post-hardcore / “hard” music and pretty much everything in between. Discovered lately I don’t mind some bluegrass even. What I don’t like would be a way shorter list... XD I’m less a type of music kind of person and more a how that music makes me feel person, regardless of the type of music and the person/band. That said, I abhor bal musette and mostly of what we call ‘nouvelle chanson française’... In general, I like it dark and tortured.

30. How many pillows do you sleep with? 2 and a small one.

32. How big is your house? Tis an appartment and with the new job last year I was able to afford more than just a rabbit hutch! (65m2 yus!).

34. Have you ever fired a gun? Only airsoft and paintball guns, was fun.

36. Favorite clean word? Lately I’ve been saying ‘grave’ a lot, I manage to annoy even myself when I do...

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep? I think it was 3 days or perhaps 4 and not even due to insomnia.

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer? Eh not that I know of lol Pretty sure I’m not the type of person that gets secret admirers.

42. Are you a good judge of character? I think I am most of the time. As an introvert I spend much of my time on the sidelines of social interactions so I watch and analyze people a lot but I’ve been wrong a couple of times (especially if it’s a pretty girl -_-) and that fucking sucked each time...

44. Do you have a strong accent? In French? Nope, I made sure to erase it because I’m a snob like that. In English? Obviously I have a French one (been told it’s cute... -_-).

46. What is your personality type? INTJ, introvert all the way (is that what it’s referring to?) Because if not, I’ve been told by a psychologist I saw as part of something for my job who said I should get diagnosed for ADHD and autism, so...

48. Can you curl your tongue? Yep. Can make a tube with it, can also turn it over but only from one direction.

50. Left or right handed? Right but training the left to not be useless since childhood (you need to have a good feeling of both your hands if you want to be a good horseback rider).

52. Favorite food? Pasta all the way!

54. Are you a clean or messy person? Both. A clean mess XD Seriously, there are still some boxes I haven’t unpacked from moving in last year... My desk at work is a fucking clutter because I manage like 15 projects at the same time and sometimes the files all end up there... But I always end up fed up of the mess and clean everything like a tornado. Especially when I decide I have enough, I can’t do anything else until I cleaned everything.

56. Most used word? Fuck or ‘putain’ and it’s variation ‘putain de merde fait chier’ in French.

58. Do you have much of an ego? I do, it’s big and sometimes misplaced. I try to not let it get in the way though.

60. Do you talk to yourself? Oh yeah, especially when I fucked something up.

62. Are you a good singer? Nope, doesn’t mean I don’t like to sing very off-key when I’m alone...

64. Are you a gossip? No, not really.

66. Do you like long or short hair? In general? Long hair but I don’t care long or short as long as they’re comfortable with it and it suits them.

68. Favorite school subject? Hands down History and geology (wanted to be an archaeologist before I chose geology).

70. Have you ever been scuba diving? I’m a scuba diver (have my first degree, can dive down to 20m). I fucking love it but life happened and I haven’t been able to keep it up :(

72. Are you scared of the dark? No, I kinda like it. Although I don’t need the room to be pitch black to sleep.

74. Are you ticklish? Yeah and since I don’t always control my strength, it can lead to some kind of injuries to the tickler...

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority? I guess? I taught at the engineering school in geology during my PhD, does that count?

78. Have you ever done drugs? Only weed a couple times. I try to stay clear from anything remotely addictive because I have an obsessive personality.

80. How many piercings do you have? None and not planning on getting some.

82. How fast can you type? Average fast I guess?

84. What color is your hair? Very light brown, bordering on blond (I’ve been told I’m blond and it gets even lighter in the sun...).

86. What are you allergic to? Dust and mold which is just awesome for a horse owner, everyday your nose in hay...

88. What do your parents do? Teachers both. My mother’s a History and Geography teacher which means a childhood spent visiting historical sites during any vacation.

90. What makes you angry? Stupidity, incompetence, injustice to name a few. Currently my neighbors letting the front door bang at any hour when there’s a note asking not to (my bedroom’s right next to that fucking front door)...

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they? Nope nope but I thought about names for my future horse(s) XD

94. What are you strengths? Loyal to a fault, up front, smart, persevering. I’m fucking funny too.

96. How did you get your name? My father always wanted to name his daughter that way. I always thought it doesn’t suit me though.

98. Do you have any scars? Oh yeah... Left shoulder, both knees, right ankle, shins, nose, chin, hands (not counting the tip of one finger I nearly lost 2 years ago), right shoulder blade.

100. Color of your room? Plain white, I rent the flat so not redecorating.

[ctpfinal2018]

Lingue Senza Frontiere - A Guide

 When I first auditioned to work with this company, there was little information on the roles and responsibilities, or even what to expect and bring. So, I have decided to make a post based off of my experience to help guide those who are considering working for this company.

 For those who have no idea what I’m talking about, Lingue Senza Frontiere (or LSF as I will call them from now on) are an Italian Educational Theatre Company that gets groups of actors to tour the north of Italy. The actors perform a variety of plays to a variety of schools as well as running workshops after shows. They also run summer camps. If you want to check them out, I’ll link their website but it is in Italian so you might wanna get google translate on it:- https://www.linguesenzafrontiere.com/

Tip 1:- Check your journey price and time frame  LSF offer 100 euros for your first travel over to Italy. They will not pay you for any other trips in and out of the country you may make during your contract with them. So look at how much it’s going to cost you to get from where you live to the Sanremo station in Italy, as that is where the company picks you up to take you to the accommodation. The nearest airport is Nice and there’s normally buses and trains that can take you from there. But also be aware of how long the journey will take. There may not be a direct flight from your local airport to the Nice airport, or your arrival time may not work out for getting a train to Sanremo. The company will want you to be at Sanremo station by 6pm European Time at the latest, since they close their office at 6pm and might not offer to collect you should you need to arrive later than that. But also think about your own health in the journey. You don’t want to be taking two planes, a train and a bus all in one day just so you don’t have to pay to sleep overnight somewhere. Consider what’s going to be the best route, work out the cost including luggage and if it comes to over 100 euros see if you can speak with LSF about covering the extra charges so you can meet their required arrival time.

Tip 2:- Don’t over pack  So you’re going to another country for possibly 8 months without returning home. You’re not sure what weather you could be facing, so you should probably bring a lot of stuff, right? Wrong. You’re only staying in Sanremo during your rehearsal period so when you go off to act you need to fit your suitcase, as well as the suitcases of the other actors and all of the props and costumes for the shows into a Peugeot car, maybe a small Peugeot van at best. You won’t have time to wear your beautiful summer clothes or fashionable winter jeans. Pack black trousers, leggings and jeans. You have to wear black for the shows, so make sure you have a few pairs in case any get damaged during performances. It does get cold at winter and we all heard how hot Europe was this summer so yeah make sure you have a variety, just a variety of black, with a few bits for weekends and potential evening meals out. Maybe pack one of them thingies for checking the weight of your case for your journey back. There are launderettes at both flats, both of which don’t require washing powder. And as someone who uses non-bio washing powder, I never had an issue with itchy clothes.

Tip 3:- Take a rucksack and a microwaveable food box  Speaking of keeping things light, take a rucksack. After you move from Sanremo, you settle in a flat in Capriate San Gervasio where you’ll spend most of your weekends. You can leave your suitcase there. Most of your accommodation during the week will be in hotels, flats and airbnb’s. Not all of them will have lifts. Not all of them will have cooking facilities. Trust me, you don’t want to be lugging an entire suitcase into a hotel you are staying in for one night. Take a rucksack with a weeks worth of essential clothes and toiletries. Make yourself some pasta for lunch and store it for the car journey.

Tip 4:- Bring an Italian adaptor  Yeah, that title’s right. Not a European adaptor, an Italian adaptor. One with three, thin prongs rather than the two fat ones European adaptors have. Both company accommodations only use Italian adaptors and most flats also use the same plug system. Here’s one for reference:- https://www.amazon.co.uk/ADAPTOO-ADV-12-ADAPTOR-UK-ITALY/dp/B002YKNTUM/ref=asc_df_B002YKNTUM/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=311075391090&hvpos=1o8&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13891911048839537870&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006679&hvtargid=pla-562449714173&psc=1

Tip 5:- Learn some basic Italian  LSF will tell you that you don’t need to know Italian to do your job. They’re lying. Not only does most of the accommodation not understand basic English (which, let’s face it some little town that never gets tourists aren’t going to bother learning a language they’ll never use in day-to-day life) but sometimes the teachers who had requested the performance didn’t understand English. Part of the job is calling accommodation to confirm the time you will arrive, and calling the teachers to confirm what they’ve paid for. So here’s a bit of Italian that will save your skin:- Ciao, siamo LSF. Abbiamo una prenotazione/ un spettacolo con te domani. Posso parlare Inglese? This means:- Hello, we are LSF. We have a reservation/ a show with you tomorrow. Can I speak English? A good way to learn is through Duolingo, though you’re bound to pick up things the longer you’re in the country and practising the language.

Tip 6:- Learn the scripts and songs before you arrive  You have two weeks to block out and rehearse like, 5 plays as well as learn how to run the workshops and practice driving. You don’t want to shove learning lines and songs on top of that too. Though be prepared for the company to add in audience interaction into the script.

Tip 7:- Make sure to read the contract in detail before signing  The company will try to guilt you into doing more for the company, such as working over the weekend to learn new workshop styles. They will state that it is in the contract for you to do these things. Whilst this is kind of true, sometimes the company will try to spring things on you last minute such as last minute bookings. Make sure to communicate your concerns with the company about any issues that may rise with their expectations from you in the role.

Tip 8:- Have a phone plan that provides lots of data  The company provides a WiFi router for the Capriate flat, but it only has 30G of data per month for the 10 people who are living in the flat. That’s 3G of data per month per person. Plus the SatNav the company provides tends to take you down narrow roads and dead ends so it is always good to make sure you can use your own google maps to look for a safer route. 

Tip 9:- Look after the company car and your locations  The company will provide you with a car to get from place to place, as well as funds for petrol and emergency funds for washing costumes, cleaning facilities for flats etc. The company base your potential bonus at the end of the contract on the maintenance of the car and the flats. If you receive a speeding ticket, it is taken off of your bonus. Even if you weren’t the one driving, as the company states that everyone in the group is responsible for the car regardless of if they drive or not. If you do damage the car, make sure to contact the company immediately to ask them what to do. Little scratches and bumps are inevitable but communication is key when making sure you are covered for any damage caused. The same with the flats. If you do not recycle your waste correctly, the flat could be fined. If the flat is unclean or the toilets and drains become blocked, the company may need to pay for these fixing and thus your bonus deducting for said fixes.

Tip 10:- Make the most of your free time  Be aware of how long it will take you to journey from one accommodation to the next. Ask the accommodation owners when the earliest and latest times are to arrive. Look at how many shows you will be performing and take time to enjoy your surroundings. If you are performing near to Verona and you have 3 hours free before you need to leave, take some time to go and sight-see. Italy is a beautiful country and there’s lots to experience. So enjoy the time you have out there. Treat yourself to a Michelin star restaurant. Stuff your face at an all-you-can-eat Chinese. Experience the towns people pay hundreds of pounds to visit for a weekend and you get to see simply by performing to a school nearby. Visit the neighbour at the Capriate flat and learn to play a card game in Italian.

 In conclusion, working for LSF was an experience I was proud to obtain. Sure, sometimes the other actors drove me a little crazy. But that is inevitable when you’re basically spending 24/7 with the same people. Sharing rooms and sometimes even beds wasn’t exactly what I expected but it wasn’t too bad. Most stuff you learn as you go, growing stronger with each new challenge the role brings your way. You’ll learn how to be smart with both the company’s money and your own money. You’ll learn when and where the best place to wash and dry your clothes is. You’ll learn to balance your work relationship with your friendships with your fellow actors, and when sometimes you just need a few minutes to yourself. You’ll learn to balance the company’s duties amongst the group and work together to bring joy to the children you perform to.

 If you have any more questions about what to expect, don’t be afraid to ask the company, or even ask me.

[ledamemangociana]

2020 20 questions meme time UWU

i was tagged by @decertatio to do this! i havent spent enough time on here recently to tag anyone, B U T! if you see this and would like to do this, consider yourself tagged, and let me know! i wanna read your answers UWU

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1. Do you make your bed? - GAWD NO, at least not 70% of the time, im so bad at this. it’s coz on the weekdays, i start working at 6:30am or 7am at home coz my bosses are in Australia and a lot of our clients are in Australia and/or New Zealand, and they’re 3 or 4 hours ahead of us, so i gotta get on those emails and support case tickets as soon as i can, so i give myself about an hour to catch up, and then i hurry out of the condo to get to the office before im marked late at 10am lolololol. on the weekends, when im at home, BECAUSE im just at home, i never fix my bed coz im in it 85% of the time anyway lakdjf

2. What’s your favorite number?  - 13, cliche as it sounds. not coz i think it’s lucky or anything, but because other people around me thought it was. i kind of clung onto it when i was in high school coz i wanted to fit in by standing out.

3. What’s your job? - An accounts and client services manager at a digital services agency.

4. If you could, would you go back to school? - Probably not. I love learning, HATE studying. 

5. Can you parallel park? - i never got far enough into being taught how to drive by mom to get to parking

6. A job you had which would surprise people? I think every job I’ve ever held, tbh. I graduated interior design mainly because my dad told me to when i asked him if i should enroll in advertising instead (the entrance exam i passed was good for either course). the only ID job i ever had lasted only two weeks, at a firm i had to do my internship/OJT at. it was my first job, and i was let go after two weeks. after that, i was a call center agent for two months, and then a copywriter for 6 months, and then an SEO specialist for a year and a half, and then a social media content/community manager at one firm for one year, and then for another agency for 3 and a half, and now im in my second year as an accounts manager at a digital services cloud agency. even i’m surprised at this job list tbh.

7. Do you think aliens are real? - i absolutely do believe that we are not the only life in this big, huge, wide, expansive universe that the planet earth is but a miniscule blip on. there’s definitely other life out there.

8. Can you drive a manual car? - i haven’t driven a car legitimately outside of learning how to drive, but yeh i probably can, since that was what my mom taught me with.

9. What’s your guilty pleasure? - junk food and soft drinks, but in general i try not to feel guilty about anything i take pleasure in

10. Tattoos? - none, but i am ACHING for them. i’ve had ideas for a loooong time. one that i DEFINITELY want to get as my first one is part of a letter that i found that my mom wrote for me in high school. “i know that you will be able to stand up for yourself and the world will stop and take notice.” i still have the letter, so i still have it in her handwriting. i want it on the inside of my left forearm. 

11. Favorite color? - Pink! lighter/softer/pastel shades are my preferred ones, but i love any shade or hue of pink tbh

12. Things people do that drive you crazy? - i hate fake guilt trips. like, when someone wants me to do something that i can’t do, they’ll come in with like “nah, it’s fine, i’ll just drop all these SUPER IMPORTANT things im doing and go out of my way to do this thing that im asking you to do because i’m SOOOOO sorry that you’re unable to do it yourself” coz it’s like...dude, if you really were able to do that or if you wanted to actually do that, you wouldn’t have asked me to do the thing in the first place. like, you’re clearly just saying that to make me feel bad enough to make me drop everything im doing and do whatever it is you asked me to do. i also hate when ppl fish for compliments by being falsely humble or self-deprecating. like. PLEASE, y’all, i’ve lived with negative amounts of self-esteem for literal decades, i know the difference between actual self-loathing and you just wanting to hear good things about yourself that you don’t want to be called narcissistic for saying about yourself. i know what it sounds like when someone is actually going THRU something or is actually having an actual hard time accepting themselves and/or asking people for what they need as opposed to when someone just wants to be told something. like. don’t insult my intelligence and experiences like that. granted, there are nuances to consider for all of these things, bUT like i said, i know the differences when i see them.

13. Any Phobias? - i have a phobia of drowning that’s light enough to NOT keep me away from water but bad enough to sometimes make watching or listening to scenes where someone could potentially drown to set some triggers off for me. i also just have a really really bad fear of dying because of getting my oxygen cut off, coz that sounds like a really slow, painful way to die.

14. Favorite childhood sport? - i was never really a sports kid. the only sport i ever really enjoyed playing willingly was badminton. i trained for a few summers but never competed, but i got good enough to make games in a court fun. i still have my badminton racquet, it’s the only Legit™ badminton racquet in the house (it’s a Yonex, handed down to me by my trainer, only been restrung twice or thrice coz the last restringing was done so damn well), all the other racquets were inexpensive unbranded knock-offs that were good enough for me and my family to have casual games with.

15. Do you talk to yourself? - yes but mostly as a product of deep focus or concentration, or really heavy emotion. having social media has lessened doing it for the latter since i can just vent on here or on twitter, but when im doing stuff for work that’s hard or needs a lot of focus or concentration, i have full-on stand-up meetings with myself.

16. What movie do you adore? - “Romy And Michele’s High School Reunion.” it’s not a perfect movie by any means, but for someone who was a bullied outcast for much of elementary and high school years in a private, all-girls, Catholic school where everyone was tall and thin and pretty and pale and smart and popular, ALL the things that i wasn’t, it was - is? - like a beacon or a hug.

17. Do you like doing puzzles? - heck yeh, coz solving them makes me feel smart, and not being able to solve them but learning HOW to is so much fun for me.

18. Favorite kind of music? - i don’t know that i have one, to be honest, i haven’t listened to current radio in literal YEARS because i dont own a radio in the condo, i barely watch TV anymore, and i dont spend enough time in a vehicle to really know what’s up. i enjoy pop, hip-hop, rnb, showtunes.

19. Tea or coffee? - more of a coffee person myself, actual tea always just tastes LEGITIMATELY like leaf water to me, and i cant find a liking for it. i do really love sweet tea and milktea tho. but yeh, im mostly a bean juice person.

20. The first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? - An architect, like my dad. i thought i would be one, up until i discovered writing in high school, and then i thought i wanted to become a journalist until i took it up as my first course in college and hated it. but yeh, it was always “architect! like daddy!” when i was asked that question when i was a kid. i looked up to him so much as a kid, and he and i were super tight when i was younger coz i was his firstborn and a daughter. we used to call each other best friends. i miss those days a lot; things between us seemed simpler, but maybe that’s because i didn’t have the ideals, knowledge and capacity to question the way he loves/loved me as My Parent™. our relationship these days is absolutely skewed and skewered.

[queerlyglittering]

LETTER BOY UPDATE

ok! This is long overdue lmao. but until the other day I was feeling a bit mopey and sad and also just generally tired and didn’t wanna talk about it BUT THEN  E X T R E M E L Y  LONG POST AHEAD

so lemme see where I last left off re: Letter Boy.... ok so like, to recap: there for a while we’d barely been talking. He didn’t have time to write to me most of the time, and then half the time when we did write to each other our letters kept getting lost in the mail, etc etc. I know I’d been like pretty obsessive over the whole letter-writing thing for a while so I thought I’d been pushing him away and like at one point I wrote him a goodbye letter? Like I was really out here like “I’m so sorry for bothering you so much, I’ll leave you alone now” like what sort of passive-aggressive bitchy monster lmao. And then eventually I was like nah fuck that, that’s not ok and I’m not leaving things like that, so I wrote him an apology and we kinda got back to talking a bit. And then he finally wrote me back! And his letter was deeply personal and emotional and I cried! He came out as ace! He told me he loved me! The absolute drama of it all! (Which it turns out, at that point he didn’t mean it in terms of like, romantic love, just like... he really cared about me as a person and was glad that he felt comfortable to write about his experiences re: being ace to me and it was sort of cathartic. BUT THEN!) So I wrote back almost immediately, telling him that I loved him too and that he was valid and shit lmao. That was all back in late May/early June I think... tbh I don’t remember what happened over the summer, lemme go back and reread our messages? b/c I know neither of us has physically written to the other since then.  Ok so we messaged a bit about potentially meeting up at a Pride festival, either there in Houston or up in Dallas, but the timing just generally didn’t work out in our favor for either event, so we wound up not going. And then we kinda sporadically messaged each other here and there, usually when he was stressed with school or I was stressed with work, etc, but we barely talked off and on for a couple months. Then I started my current job, and my sleep cycle got outta whack for a few weeks, and that’s when things started to get interesting again lmao

ok so sometime near the end of August, he had like a minor depressive episode or something in the middle of the night and messaged me at like 4 am saying he felt “gross and sad” and I slept through that because it was Saturday but I wound up waking up at like 6:30 out of habit from getting up for work, and I ended up calling him and we talked for a while and I vented about some stuff in my life too and then we both went back to sleep lmao. And after that things got a little more active in terms of communication; like y’all know me, I’m a Needy Bitch, so of course I wound up messaging him like once every couple days or so whenever I started to miss him and needed Attention. Like it kinda started with a tarot reading I got, just a standard past/present/future 3-card reading, but she pulled the Lovers for my present, so I mean.... and basically she said something about there being a person in my life whom I had feelings for, and who reciprocated those feelings, but there was a communications disconnect, and the relationship was getting to a point where it could begin to go stale, and that we shouldn’t block ourselves off from progress. After that reading I reached out and messaged him again, and we ended up literally speaking every day for a week. Like I think I’d made a post about that on here about not messaging him for the 8th day in a row and thought I was exaggerating but then I went back and counted and IT ACTUALLY WAS THE 8TH DAY, WOW AUDREY, YOU’RE OFFICIALLY ANNOYING. So I tried to get better about leaving him alone lmao but I started messaging him a bunch of stuff about my singing, because my old community had a brief resurgence in September. and he said he wanted to sing something with me someday and I’m 🥰🥰

So then at one point I had mentioned coming down to Houston for the weekend of the SFA/Sam Houston State game (which was last weekend, 10/5-6) with my friend, and ditching the game to hang out with him instead. I kinda let the subject drop for a couple weeks because at that point it was almost a month out and I wasn’t 100% sure I was gonna be able to go so I didn’t want to get both our hopes up. But then work started being really shitty and dicking me around about my schedule change that was supposed to have happened once I got out of training, and my home life wasn’t gr8 either, so I kinda latched onto that weekend trip as like a bright spot, or something to hope for. Something to keep me going. And he’d basically forgotten about it, which is fine, except I wound up springing it back on him at the last minute lmao. But then my friend who I was supposed to go with (because I can’t drive so she was gonna drive us down there) was like ‘nah I’m not going to the game, I have no money for tickets.’ So I was like well shit, there goes my happy thing. And I talked to her about it and basically begged her to just go down to Houston for the weekend anyway, I’d get us a hotel and everything, because I needed this. So she was like ‘alright, look at hotels.’ But then HER friend got very sick, like in-the-hospital having-mysterious-seizures sick, and she went to go stay with her in the hospital for a few days because the girl’s husband was being a dick about it (it turned out to just be an infection from a contact lens that got stuck in her eye and like melted??? idk. but it was BAD AND SCARY). But that was like Wednesday-Friday of the week we were supposed to go to Houston on that weekend and I wasn’t sure she’d be up to going. So I asked last minute if she still wanted to go or if I should cancel the hotel (not realizing that it was too late to cancel it anyway lmao RIP) and she said ‘ok sure but I wanna bring my kid, since I’ve been away from her for 3 whole days.’ I was like that’s fine, I already thought you were gonna bring her lol. So we wound up going down there on Saturday but we left a bit later than we’d meant to, and by the time we got to town, Letter Boy was already at work. So I missed him that day. The three of us (me, friend & kiddo) wound up swimming in the hotel pool and then ordering Chinese takeout for dinner so that was pretty fun. 

Then the next day, Sunday! Letter Boy called as we were checking out of the hotel to try and figure out what the plan was, where we could meet up, etc. We decided to meet at the mall nearby, since it was an easy landmark for all parties, and we could find each other pretty easily there. He took me (and my friend and her kid, though apparently that wasn’t the plan, and he would’ve preferred to spend time with just me; she even gave me the option to not have the two of them meet us at the restaurant and I decided not to take it because i was a nervous anxious coward lmao) out to lunch at this Korean place in town, where he loves to eat. We played a few rounds of a card game and talked and ate and it was great fun. Then he had to bail and go to work, and we had an interesting goodbye because I’d been out here trying to respect his personal space and all because from what he’d said in his coming-out letter, it sounded very much like he was touch-averse - but then he hugged me goodbye? and kept coming back for more hugs?! like “one more? ok just one more? and one more?” like nonstop for a good five minutes lmao. I was a bit confused but I loved it (my primary love language is physical touch; hugs are my kryptonite. And he gives AMAZING hugs. like I may have even actually dreamed about his hugs before I ever got to experience one, but that’s whole other post lol). Anyway so after that my friend and I went to hang out at her brother’s in-laws’ place because they lived in the area lol. Letter Boy had asked me to message him once I got there, so I did. I told him I wished I could’ve spent more time with him one-on-one, and he said “well if you’re still in town maybe you can sneak away when I get my break later” So I basically said hell yes, just tell me where to meet you, lol. We wound up meeting up at Starbucks and getting coffee and continuing to talk and hang out for the half hour of his break, and he really didn’t want to leave when it was time for him to go. Like he actually contemplated kidnapping me and bringing me to work with him lmao. If my ride hadn’t already been on her way, I would’ve gone with him in a heartbeat. I didn’t want to leave either. And he told me he loved me again!  🥰🥰🥰 It was sappy and sweet and just aghhhh <3

So that was a week ago today! And there’s been some interesting developments since then too. Starting off with that Sunday night when I got home, I’d had too much coffee (starbucks messed up my order and had to remake it so I ended up drinking both lmao, big mistake). So I was over-caffeinated and v emotional and couldn’t sleep so I started writing out all my anxious confused feelings in letter form, and wound up just linking Letter Boy to the Google Doc I’d been writing in. This was at almost 2 AM. Apparently I woke him up and he read it and replied to me over messenger and basically we talked about how like. when he first said he loved me in the letter, he didn’t necessarily mean it in a romantic context but it was definitely more than just platonic and he wasn’t sure how to quantify that. But now that we’d met in person, and got to spend some actual time together, he felt a little differently and that he was “not 100% sure but WAAAY more than 50% sure” that he loved me romantically, because partially because he’s ace, he’s just kinda unsure about romantic relationships in general and he’s reluctant to commit to them because the sex thing always becomes an issue. I reassured him that I completely understand and respect his orientation and would never ask him to change that aspect of himself or do anything that would make him uncomfortable, and he seemed immensely relieved. At this point I’m honestly not even sure how much of his feelings are genuinely for/about me, and how much of them are just some sort of general euphoria at having someone basically validate his orientation and his existence, because he’d spent so long being mocked and tormented by friends and lovers alike, and basically just feeling broken and worthless. And I completely understand that reaction. I’m not even sure I care if that’s all this is, if it comes down to it; I’m happy to be here to love and support him and make sure he never feels less than whole and valid again, no matter my context in his life. I just want him to be happy. I’d love to be the one who makes him happy, but if ultimately that is not my part in his life, then so be it. I’m at peace with it.

Anyway so that was Sunday night, we talked a little bit on Monday and Tuesday and then like,, nothing at all for a few days? And so of course my immediate instinct is that I came on too strong and pushed him away, just because he doesn’t want to talk to me every day?? so I got all mopey and sad and weird, because I thought I’d scared him off and lost him and idk. Also I was in a funk b/c my hormones are being wacky this week; I don’t really get periods per se with my IUD, but sometimes I’ll get phantom cramps and/or mood swings, etc. but this past week i’ve been spotting and cramping AND moody af, so that’s been fun. So I’d been all weird and sad and shit, and thinking he didn’t want to talk to me = he didn’t want me, and I was so paranoid and afraid because I still think this whole thing is too good to be true and I can’t trust it. I know it’s silly and far too early to be serious and it’ll never last and probably won’t end well. I know that it’s fun and easy and idealistic and won’t stand up to reality or practicality, when it eventually has to face them. So I’ve been bracing myself for that ending ever since it began. And I know three days isn’t very long, but after having a whole conversation about how we love each other, and how we love each other, it felt like an eternity. BUT THEN!!!!!!!!!

So ok, we did talk briefly on Friday, in passing. but it was a very short little conversation; the only major thing to come out of it was a further confirmation that yes, he’s serious about coming up here to see me. BUT THEN Saturday night (10/12), he got home from seeing Eric Andre perform live, and he was hanging out with his sister and drinking and generally being a goof, and he messaged me! UPDATE: It’s now sunday 10/20 and I’m still writing this. idk it’s been a lot, everything else in my life has been rough lately, idk. im not feeling as positively about this as i was before, but i’ll keep writing the update. I’ve written too much

SO! Anyway. he came home from the comedy show thing, and he was hanging out with his sister watching some Japanese reality show and drinking, and he messaged me out of the blue. Funny thing I’ve noticed is that he doesn’t generally reach out to me first and he’s not too expressive generally but whenever he’s intoxicated in some way, be it alcohol or pot or even benadryl, he gets really effusively, gushily mushy and sweet. So on this occasion he was drunk, or at least tipsy, and that means he was being extra affectionate and dumb lmao. He started out telling me about his night and then hit me with the “I wish you were heeeerrrrreeeeeeee” lol. And he said something about how one day when he graduates, we should get a place together, where we can “be non-binary and own our dreams” (the second time he’s mentioned possibly being nonbinary to me - or possibly third time, he said something in passing about being confused about gender roles, in a context that implied ‘in relation to himself.’ meanwhile I haven’t actually said anything at all to him about me being nonbinary, he just kinda assumed b/c i have a rly butch-y looking haircut rn lmao. but like.. he ain’t wrong tho 😂 so that’s a conversation that we need to actually have sometime.) He was like “it’s sorta romantic that you live up there and I live down here and we’re so far apart and we have to just kinda pine after each other basically” and i was like oh good, I’m not the only one pining lmao. But then he asked me to come with him when he moves to Japan to teach English there, sometime after he finishes his degree. Which like, I wish I could go with him, and I know that if we’re still talking at that point/especially if we actually get together, it’s gonna be hard to be that far away from him and I’m gonna miss him. But it’s just eminently not practical. I don’t have any college degree and I don’t speak a lick of Japanese, there’s no way I can teach English with him; and there aren’t many other jobs there for Americans. And he won’t be making enough to support both of us on a teacher’s salary, i know that much. So that’s where I start to get a bit disillusioned. Like I know it was just a drunk suggestion out of a desperation to not be apart anymore, and despite the fact that a drunk mouth often speaks sober thoughts, I know better than to assume that either of those offers to live together were any kind of a promise, and I have no intention to hold him to either of them. But in the moment I very much got my hopes up and I let myself get really excited and I regret that now lmao because like I knew even then that it wasn’t real. and now i’m just sorta disappointed because I’ve had to confront the fact that he’s very much a daydreamer and I, for all my delusional fantasizing, am at heart more practical than that. I don’t like to hope for things that I know can’t happen, because it’s just setting myself up for future devastation. And he just wants to hope and wish for everything, and maybe some of it will come true and maybe some of it won’t, and he just sort of seems unbothered by either outcome. For all my hopeless romanticism and my overemotional nature, I can’t bring myself to do that, to hope without expectation. I don’t know how. it’s so antithetical to my understanding of the world. And it just serves to highlight another of the many ways in which we are almost complete opposites - which isn’t a bad thing! but it can make some things harder. like handling distance, or hoping for the future, or just communication in general.

but anyway! back to drunken happiness lmao. he started saying really sappy shit like how he wants to be there for me when I’m feeling down, and he wants to have big dumb fights with me just so he can make it up to me with a big grand gesture like flowers or edible arrangements or something. and then he wrote me a drunken limerick and it was actually surprisingly good and really cute lmao. and he said he wanted to cuddle me. and then we got into a mini-fight over which one of us was cuter lmao. and he called me queen and said that he just wants to like. make me food and take care of me and stuff lol. and that he doesn’t even HAVE a type but somehow I am exactly his type? which is still fucking me up, that’s the sweetest shit i’ve ever heard. (because i know what he means, he’s dated around quite a bit with different types and genders of people and stuff because he didn’t really know how to handle his asexuality and of course the myth is that you just haven’t found the right person yet, so he just kept trying and feeling broken and then here I am, the first person he’s found to be accepting and understanding of that part of him, and still want him and care for him and be all lovey-dovey and shit with him, and he just wants me to be happy in return.) meanwhile I of course have several types, including different types for girls and guys etc, but he’s hitting all my boxes - tall, handsome in a kind of adorkable way, smart, funny, sarcastic, sweet, patient, sensitive, similar tastes in media and similar political alignments, queer. plus he’s just cute as fuck. like out of my league cute lmao but again, that’s exactly my type OTL so like I told him that, and that I just wanna like. hold him and be with him and help him be successful in whatever he wants in life. and he freaked out and was like ugh you should just come here rn i’ll hide you under my bed if i have to and i was like i wish i could :( and he was like THAT’S NOT GOOD ENOUGH AUDREY COME HERE and i was like OK IM LEAVING ON FOOT SEE U IN 3 DAYS and it was funny. and we flung a bunch of heart emojis at each other. and then he made a passing reference to his mood swings and i kinda ended up ignoring it because i sent a message at the same time but in my head i was like boy have you even MET me, 1. the swings have always been my favorite piece of playground equipment, 2. i’ve got mood swings down to a fine art, and 3. i’m more worried about whether you can handle mine. i’m pretty sure i can take yours in stride lmao. and then there was more talk of cuddling, and HE STARTED HEART REACTING ALL MY MESSAGES and i’m just like WTF STOP IT THAT IS THE CUTEST SHIT <3333 and then he sent me a dollar by accident? and I sent him the “i love you bitch, i ain’t never gonna stop loving you bitch” vine lmao

and apparently this whole time he was still sitting around with his sister? lmao because he said she told him she approved of me after i sent that vine 😂 and she apparently likes my hair! which is good lol (reminder I need to post some pics of it on here, I posted selfies to fb but i don’t think i’ve posted on here yet). his sister is also bi lmao and seems cool in general (and also from what i’ve seen creeping her fb, she’s REALLY GORGEOUS, like it runs in the family, these fuckers should be models, it’s ridiculous really) so having her approval is v nice. like at least one member of his family approves of me! now to work on the rest 😂😂 and then he was talking about he was gonna get high also (despite being already drunk) and i was joking with him about bogarting the weed and he was like “when we live together I’ll share my weed with you” lmao but he said it with such certainty, like it was just a given. not an if, but a when. which threw me for enough of a loop. But then he started in on this fantasy scenario where like it’s late at night and we can’t sleep so he makes me sushi by hand, and we feed each other with our chopsticks (he was impressed that I already knew how to use them lmao) and we sit on the couch arm in arm watching reruns of cheers and laughing way too loudly and fall asleep in each other’s arms as the sun comes up outside but we don’t have anything to do the next day so it’s ok. and it was the sweetest most romantic shit I’ve literally ever heard in my LIFE, like it sounds like actual heaven and i was crying happy tears at this point lmao. just 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰 like in that moment i felt so fucking loved i couldn’t even speak and y’all know i’m never speechless, i literally can’t fucking shut up most of the time lmao. and like at that point his phone was dying so he went to plug it in and go to bed and I did the same because it was like 2:30 in the morning but i was just giddy with affection and couldn’t sleep. 

anyway so the next day (sunday) i had a party thing to go to that was really fun but i’m socially awkward so i texted him a lot as a crutch. and then the next day (monday) he had given me “permission to bug the crap out of him” so i messaged him a lot throughout my work day because it was an unusually crappy day anyway. and the day after that (tuesday) we messaged about the democratic debates and stuff. and then i kinda tried to give him some space, because i felt like i was smothering him, and i made it all the way to friday evening before i caved in and messaged him again. like i don’t wanna bother him by messaging him every day, i know he’s busy. whenever he doesn’t actively have class, he’s got homework or he’s working (which usually means he’s driving and can’t talk). but i’m like so addicted to the affection i get from him, it’s bad. my anxiety just keeps building and getting worse if i try to avoid messaging him and I don’t make it very far before i end up giving in and messaging him for a hit of that good ol’ dopamine. so we ended up catching each other up on the events of the latter part of our week, and talking about sushi preferences. and he apparently has never had eel?? like that was probably the 2nd or 3rd thing i tried lmao 😂 but then to be fair I had a boyfriend at the time who was very interested in making sure i tried new things, and who had been stationed briefly in japan so he knew a lot about sushi and wanted to show off. anyway Letter Boy is like me, he prefers salmon by a wide margin. and we talked about how he’d tried squid and did not enjoy it, and that turned into a mini battle to see who could post the weirdest squid-themed gif lmao. and then i sent him the playlist but he still hasn’t listened to it yet I don’t think. but he also wants me to write him a poem lmao so that’s something i should start working on i guess. but idk i’m not feeling it rn but that’s not his fault. 

and then today happened and i had another incident with my mother and her narcissistic bullshit and i was feeling like shit so i reached out to my best friend to kinda get some validation that i’m not actually the narcissistic one (which felt shitty and manipulative, like if i have to ask i’m probably at least a LITTLE narcissistic. but then again if i actually was narcissistic i guess i wouldn’t even have that doubt? like i would just be certain that i wasn’t and not second-guess it because i wouldn’t care? and like making their victims believe that THEY are the narcissistic ones and the abuser isn’t, is a classic hallmark of gaslighting and narcissistic abuse? but i still felt like shit about it idk). And I also reached out to Letter Boy because while I love my best friend more than words can say, like she’s my sister-from-another-mother, Letter Boy has kind of become my comfort person. like i always used to write letters to him whenever I was going through a rough spot, as a distraction. and usually I’ll message him whenever I’m starting to feel anxious or sad, but lately it’s gotten to where I’ll start to feel anxious and sad whenever I don’t message him regularly. like i’ve said, it’s getting bad and i’m worried about it. like that’s not a good sign of a healthy relationship. and it’s nice to have some positivity in my life, especially given all the negative shit i’m constantly surrounded by. but that doesn’t mean this relationship is healthy or good for either of us. so that’s yet another thing on my list of shit that’s making me anxious lol. but anyway he tried to be supportive when i told him about what i’m dealing with in re: my mother, and encouraged me to get out, but he just seemed kinda generally lost. like he didn’t know how to deal with it. and if that’s because he’s been fortunate enough that in his life, that kind of behaviour is not something he’s experienced, then I’m happy for him. but he said some stuff about not really believing in labels, but specifically in regards to mental health issues? which like. that’s all fine and good in terms of gender and sexuality, but with mental health, that’s a medical issue. you kind of have to have names for things in that context so that you can treat them. and i get that he was kinda trying to be encouraging to me, to not let my mother make me think of myself as a narcissist, and to not feel so shitty about myself in terms of like my depression and anxiety and stuff. but it just felt like it was sort of coming from a place of very neurotypical privilege and misunderstanding, and it was sort of unintentionally invalidating. and then he brought up the idea of us living together again, once he graduates, but he said it in a slightly more realistic way which i should have been happier with but that only wound up disappointing me. he said “maybe when i graduate we can get a place...” instead of like his certainty from earlier. and i said i wish, and he said that he wishes too and we should both hope for it and maybe it’ll happen. and i’m just like... hope is a dangerous thing for my emotional health, i don’t want to hope for something that isn’t going to happen. and he basically said that i need to learn to hope without expectation, and set small goals as baby steps toward that bigger dream, and i’m just like. i don’t understand but thank you lmao. and that’s where we left off this evening. and i’ve been crying, about shit with my mom and my life in general and worrying about all this bullshit with letter boy and how like a week ago we were blissfully happy with each other and now things are feeling increasingly less certain and i have this burning feeling in the back of my mind that he’s not gonna actually show up for the Syrup Festival in 3 weeks - which again, i’ve pinned all my hopes to, it’s the light at the end of my newest tunnel. and i’m so nervous because i want to show him everything and let him get a feel for where i live (and why i feel trapped here lmao) and yet at the same time i don’t know how to handle it because i don’t think he’ll feel the same way about it as i do. and i’m still not sure he’ll even come. because despite him telling me repeatedly that he wants to come, i can’t help but feel that either something will come between us within that time, or he’ll just end up having to work, or something, and he won’t actually come. i’m so terrified he won’t want to come. I’m terrified i’m pushing him away. because this whole thing, ever since we started writing letters, has felt mostly one-sided, like i’m out here sharing everything with him and flinging my love and attention at him, and getting scraps in return, just enough to keep me coming back for more. and i don’t know if he’s stringing me along or if he’s serious. he is a bit flighty. I don’t want him to fly away. but i don’t want to hold him down, either.

i don’t know.

[spinebreak3r]

Ten

Ten moments that represent your relationship with Yoongi, based off of One Hundred Ways to Say I Love You x

Pairing: Min Yoongi x Reader

Warnings: ridiculous amounts of fluff and pining, friends to lovers, perspective changes, drunk BTS in 1., a mention and portrayal of anxiety (it’s briefly mentioned in 2. and detailed in 7. please stay safe)

Word count: 2,122

1.

Going out with the Bangtan Boys was always a mission. You had immense amounts of fun and they were considered some of your closest friends, but there was always that one point in the night where Jimin would get a tad too giggly and Joon would say something a little too questionable, and you would have to call it a night.

This was one of those times, as a tipsy Jin, Yoongi, and Hoseok lead a sober you back to your car after a karaoke night that had gotten a slight competitive and had ended up with Jungkook and Jimin doing push-ups to settle a winner.

They were arguing about it now, Jin pulling out his fist to settle it rock, paper, scissors, style and none of them barely noticed you get into your car and wind down your window.

“The rules of rock, paper, scissors are clear, Jin! It’s best two out of three!” Hoseok yells out into the night.

“You cheated!”

“You can’t cheat in rock, paper, scissors!”

“That’s exactly what a cheater would say!”

You honk your horn to get their attention.

“Night, guys. I’ll see you tomorrow?” You ask.

They all nod and chorus a goodbye. Hoseok leans over to give you an awkward hug through the car window. You smile back and out in your keys.

Yoongi’s eyes are trained on you as you buckle your seat belt.

“Drive safely,” He calls out to you as you pull out of your space.

You wave back and smile.

2.

He was sweating.

Anxiety wasn’t something new to him, he had come to know how to deal with it after many years. But this was different. This was new. This was exciting.

This was almost a date.

He says almost because he never explicitly asked you out, and he knows very well that you probably think he sees you as just a friend. But you’re both sitting in a cafe, alone, without the boys, just the two of you.

So Yoongi has decided to call it an almost date.

You’re laughing so hard too, your eyes glinting in the soft lights, and Yoongi’s heart feels like it’s going to pop out of his chest. Were you always this beautiful? Probably. He doesn’t want this to end.

But of course, it does. You both have lives and jobs and other people to talk to. He takes a moment to be selfish though, a moment of bravery combined with high adrenaline, and he asks if you want to go to this new record store he found, on Saturday, just the two of you. You say yes. He smiles so hard his cheeks hurt.

The grin falls when you pull out your wallet, though. “No.” He says. “No, it’s my treat.”

You protest, as expected, but he’s quick to swipe his card before you can actually pay.

“Fine. But next time is on me.” You exclaim, full of certainty.

Yeah, he thinks, like I’m letting that happen.

3.

The call wakes you up.

You grumble repeatedly, tossing up between turning over and ignoring it or answering the person with several threats.

His name flashes on the screen and all the anger disappears from your body.

“Yoongi?” You answer.

“Did I wake you?” He replies. “I’m sorry.”

You look at the clock and see it’s two in the morning. You have to get up early too, but the way his voice cracks in the middle of his question makes your words easy to say.

“It’s okay. I couldn’t sleep anyway.”

He’s quiet.

“Talk to me.”

He does.

4.

“You’re warm.”

His hand hovers over your forehead, and you have to agree, you do feel hot. Though you suspect most of it is from being in such close proximity to your longtime crush.

“I’m fine.” You whisper.

He tuts before pulling out his phone from his pocket.

“What are you doing?”

“Telling Hobi I can’t make practice.”

You sit up quickly, making your head spin but you push it away. “I told you I was fine!”

“And I call bullshit!” He replies, looking you straight in the eye. “There. It’s done. Now you’re stuck with me.”

You look at him in annoyance only to spot an acne scar on his forehead you’ve never seen before. Your hand reaches out to touch it gently.

He pushes your hand away. “Now are you gonna be good and let me take care of you?”

Cheeks flushed and arms crossed, you pout. “Depends.” You reply. “Are you gonna make me tea?”

“All the tea in the world, your grace.”

“Then I guess I’ll behave.”

He grins, gums and all, and pats your head. “Get some rest. I’ll be back with your tea in a second.”

You watch him leave the room. You immediately miss him.

5.

Your best friend is gonna be so proud of you. You could hear their voice right now, all giggly and gushy. Even you were hyped.

You were on a date.

Not just any date, a date with Min Yoongi.

You weren’t fully convinced this was real life.

It had been a good night so far. You had hung out at his studio and listened to him rant about pitches and notes and beats. He was under the pretense of “teaching” you but you had gotten lost. Mostly because when he talked about music, he talked really fast, and also partly because he had a new perfume on and he smelled like vanilla and lavender.

Not that you would ever admit that to anyone.

After that, you went out to eat and instead ended up walking for two hours, too caught up in talking to notice you had long since passed the restaurant and ended up getting horribly lost.

Now you were back in the comfort of your home, arguing about how long to cook popcorn and scrolling through movies to watch.

It was definitely up there as one of your favorite nights ever.

“No horror movies.” He immediately states, reaching over to pull your legs onto his lap.

You pause on a classic, Star Wars, feeling in that kind of mood, only to see him grimace in the corner of your eye. You start to scroll again.

“What do you wanna watch?” You ask.

He looks at you, long and hard, and you wonder if he heard you properly. He opens his mouth before you can ask again though.

“Star Wars?”

Your surprise and excitement is not easy to hide. “Really?!”

He smiles. “Yeah.”

He falls asleep twenty minutes in but he does so with his fingers laced in yours, so you don’t mind.

6.

He has a hard time believing you’re real.

He’s always been a cautious person, always on his guard. Not trusting people is one of his flaws and he didn’t really care enough to put any effort into changing that. Then you came along, all kindness and beauty and hope, and he couldn’t help become immediately accepting of you.

Yeah. Sometimes he didn’t quite think you were real, that you were his.

Times like now, when you walk into his studio without him asking you, coffee and food in hand. You wanted to see him, you said. You liked to make sure he was healthy, you said. It’s no big deal, you said.

“It’s two sugars, right?” You say.

He kisses you before he fully realizes what he is doing.

Your lips are stupidly soft, he thinks, and you taste better than he had ever dreamed of. He can feel your breath against his cheek and you hair beneath his fingers and wow he thinks you are quite possibly the greatest thing in the universe.

You pull away and he winces.

“Sorry.” He feels the need to make sure you’re okay, to backtrack because you didn’t give him the clearest green light and he might have just messed up everything. “I just…”

There’s a pause and he’s a little startled by it.

“I just really like you.”

Your smile is small but your eyes are bright. “I really like you too, Yoongi.”

He kisses you again, just because he can.

7.

There’s something so strange about silence, how it’s never truly there. There’s always something, a car driving past, birds in the trees, water dripping onto the pavement, your heart beating…

Right now it’s only your breaths and Yoongi’s sobs.

You know anxiety well, well enough to understand it looks different on every person, which always makes it so hard to comfort someone because your methods are different to theirs and the last thing you want to do is make it worse.

So the both of you just sit there. Not touching but close enough that as soon as you get the signal you’re going to smother him in cuddles and kisses until he gives you one of his gummy smiles.

You love his smile so much.

You love him, even when he’s scared to feel the same.

“I’ll still be here when you’re ready.” Your voice is quiet but his back still tenses in surprise, in trepidation. “And if you’re never ready, that’s okay too. I’m gonna stay until you ask me to leave.”

A tear rolls down his cheek and lands on his hand.

“I don’t want you to leave.” He states.

“Then I won’t.”

He gives you the signal and you spend the rest of the night wrapped in his warmth.

8.

He loves his job. He truly, honestly does. Loves it so much, he could never even picture himself doing anything else.

There are parts of it he hates, though.

Like now, when the guilt and pain sits heavily in his chest because your face on his phone screen just isn’t enough and he misses you so so so much.

He can tell your only laughing like this to make him feel better, but it only serves to make him worse.

He cuts you off without fully realizing. “I miss you.”

You sigh, slightly agitated, more saddened. “I miss you too.”

“Come visit me. You’ll love this city.”

“I can’t, Yoon. It’s too much money.”

“There’s a botanical garden, and an old record shop, and one of those escape rooms we can do together…”

“That sounds lovely, Yoongi, and I really want to see you. I’m sorry.”

“I’ll buy you a ticket.”

You freeze, and Yoongi almost thinks the call cut off.

Then you move and you’re yelling. “Yoongi! No! You can't do that! It’s too much money and I won’t be able to pay you back and -”

“Too late. I texted my manager. He’s organizing it right now.”

“Yoongi!”

“I miss you.”

You smile again. For the first time since he left, he does too.

“Thank you.” You whisper.

Deep down he knows he would buy you an entire plane if he felt it necessary.

9.

The jacket is leather and black and it fits him perfectly. He’s a little confused, to be honest, doesn’t know why or how it was sitting on his bed, neatly folded with a note saying “I was thinking of you.”

Namjoon has a habit of buying ill-fitting clothes and donating them to Yoongi, but the leader doesn’t like leather so it couldn’t be him.

Jimin is a generous sweetheart but his notes are always signed with his name and a heart, ensuring that he would get full credit and praise, and this note had no such signature.

The jacket doesn’t feel expensive, nice and comfortable and sturdy, sure, but not high-end-tear-jerking-wallet-breaking expensive. So that rules out both Taehyung and Hoseok.

And then Yoongi’s mind drifts to you.

Sweet, beautiful, kind you. Who gives more than you receive, who kisses him on the cheek everytime he walks through your door, who makes his heart feel like it’s going to launch out his chest like a high-speed rocket. You.

He texts you with a message that reads: “is leather in style now?”

You reply with a simple wink emoji.

If anyone says he squealed, he will kill them.

10.

It’s midnight and you’re so exhausted. You had finally wrangled your boyfriend into bed. Tearing him away from his computer was a hard task, near impossible, but you managed it. You always did when his health was concerned.

He feels warm against your body and you can hear his heartbeat when you press your head harder into his chest. His arms are wrapped tightly around your waist, his breathing is ticking your neck, and everything just feels overwhelmingly right.

“Goodnight.” You tell him.

“Goodnight.” He replies.

You hold your breath and take the plunge.

“I love you.” You say for the first time.

“I love you.” He mumbles with ease.

You both fall asleep easily.

[alextravelstojapan]

Thursday, Nov 22nd, 2018

We woke up and got ready for our day trip to Universal Studios Japan. Then we went our in search of breakfast and were surprisingly unsuccessful until we saw a sign for Viede la France that was on the 11th floor of the station. We got some bread and some nice coffee and then caught the bus to Universal. It was a pretty short bus ride and we arrived right at the site. Well first was a long strip of all of the restaurants and souvenir shops that you can go into free of charge. And we were trying to meet Meda, Kevin, and Therese that were also staying in Oosaka for the weekend so we stood by a Lawson’s for a little while Carson connected to the WiFi and tried to contact them through FB messanger. They actually came to USJ very shortly after us so it didn’t take us long to see them also standing near to Lawson’s.

We walked all together to the studio entrance and when I saw the 7900¥ price my heart hurt a little bit and I was having second thoughts but I bought a ticket anyways. When we got into the park our first stop was the bathroom and then we did some loose planning about what we should do first. Well since we all wanted to go to the Harry Potter world we decided that should be our first adventure. I bought some butter beer for 600¥ which was yet another purchase that made my heart hurt a little. After I bought it, I set it on a ledge nearby while I got out my camera and Meda hit my cup with her elbow and almost knocked it over but luckily most of the drink remained in the cup. The butter beer was delicious which I already knew, having tried it at the Universal Studios in Florida three or four years ago. We walked around for a short while before stopping to take some pictures of the castle. The line for the castle ride was about 110 minutes so we were all like hell no but went into the line anyways. We opted for the castle walk instead of the ride which was no wait and really cool to me because I didn’t go into the castle at US Florida.

Dru, Kevin, and I decided to go check out the other parks while Meda, Therese, and Carson stayed behind to scope around for some souvenirs. Dru, Kevin, and I wandered into Jurassic Park which was kind of a let down because there were no dinosaurs. All three of us were checking out the food options as we walked because even though everything looked good, it was also all ridiculously priced. I was in a sour mood for pretty much the whole day because I didn’t feel the money I had spent was worth the experience. And even though I was trying hard to stay positive, it was difficult for me because I wanted to buy things but couldn’t rationalize spending that kind of money, nor could I rationalize standing in a line with over an hour’s wait just to be on a ride for 1 minute. So that’s why I don’t like theme parks and don’t plan on going back to one for at least another 5 years.

Because Jurassic Park didn’t have much to offer us besides long lines for rides and overpriced food, instead we waited for the rest of our friends for quite a while outside of Jurassic Park. In the meantime, I got crabby brooding over my quickly emptying wallet and my hungry stomach. So I ended up saying to hell with it and got in line to buy a 500¥ churro. While in line I started to doubt whether it was going to be a good purchase, and unfortunately it wasn’t, which made me even more frustrated. It was also at this point that my feet started hurting so I was just not having a very good day. Yeah I guess I should’ve warned you earlier on but this post is basically just full of complaints lol.

Anyways after we had all met up again, we walked over to the area designed for little kids which had Snoopy, Hello-Kitty, and Sesame Street themed parts. We accidentally got split up and then met up again while waiting in line for a Snoopy ride. The ride was one of those ones that has a cart for two people extending from a connection point in the middle. So all of the two-person carts are positioned in a circle but have different attachements to the center so that each cart can independently move up and down vertically as the center point spins clockwise. I think I took a picture of the ride so if my description is lacking that should help give a visual of what I’m talking about. Anyways, even though this ride was designed for kids it totally made my stomach drop a few times as we moved up and then down. It was fun and I was happy we got to finally go on a ride. Then we entered into this large building that was also Snoopy themed and got in line for another ride. This one was a regular rollercoaster and was only a 30 second ride so it was a short distance and really fast but a lot of fun.

Next we walked around and eventually made our way to the minion-themed area. I said I hated minions right before we entered the park but after walking around for a little while they started to grow on me lol. I’ve seen a lot of people dressed up in minion costumes too so they’re really popular and I never really got why until Dru said that she also came to like minions because they’re always happy and just wanna have fun. We then walked to this place where an original short-film about Shark was showing, mainly because Kevin really wanted to see it. We didn’t wait in line for that long but we were ushered inside this small room and had to stand for what seemed like forever while these two ladies just talked in Japanese to kill some time and I about screamed. That seems a little extreme but I just really wanted to sit down because my back and feet were hurting me. Then this weird short clip that I couldn’t understand played as we stood there. I was so happy when some doors opened and we were finally seated in a large theatre. The movie wasn’t very good but it was an interesting experience because the chairs would move along to when the characters were doing things like riding on a horse or jumping and landing on a something. And then water would be sprayed from these mist machines when Donkey spit or someone was splashed by water. And air was released from some openings near our heads and legs when a character was launched into the air. I felt a lot better after sitting down for a while but we left USJ shortly after that anyways.

We got dinner in the free-admission area outside USJ at Mos Burger which is just a fast food place and I was yet again disappointed with another purchase :/ But after that, Dru, Carson, Kevin, and I went into a souvenir shop and I bought a little octopus stuffed animal for 900¥ which was a great purchase in my opinion 😁 He looks exactly like the octopus emoji 🐙 Octopus in Japanese is tako and so I call him Tako-chan or Taquito.

Carson, Dru, and I then returned to our condo and I took a little nap, during which, Mike had left a note on our door telling us to stop by for a chat when we can. We had told Kevin, Meda, and Therese to meet us in Oosaka station at 6:30pm but our talk with Mike and Hitomi ended up making us not leave the apartments until about 6:45. We got to Oosaka station about 30 minutes late but I only Kevin was waiting in the agreed upon spot because navigating around Oosaka station proved to be much harder than expected. We eventually found Therese and Meda, and afterwards we decided to walk around the area and look for a place to get drinks. We went to the same area that Mike had shown Carson, Dru, and I the night before because the alley ways had been lined with bars and karaoke places. We wanted to do karaoke but knew that drinks there would be over priced so we searched for a long time before we could all decide which bar we should go into. We ended up choosing this strange place that had very eccentric employees and games like billiards, darts, Mario kart, one karaoke room, and that golf game where you hit the ball against a screen onto which the course is projected. I was disappointed when I discovered that we had to pay a cover but none of the games were free but why I should have learned by now that nothing in this capitalistic world is free -.- The drinks were also expensive and I was convinced that all of the mixed drinks would not be very strong so after we ordered a round of mystery shots, I ordered myself a glass of straight tequila. I ended up paying like 1700¥ for everything so it might have been better to just get drinks at the karaoke place.

We left the bar after a short while and then went to the convenience store next door to buy some more drinks before we went to the karaoke place. I got an Asahi beer and hid it in my backpack until we were safe in our karaoke room. We sang for an hour and it was a lot of fun! Karaoke should be more popular in the US. I would definitely love to go again but I don’t think I will have the chance to :c After that, Carson, Dru, and I returned to our apartment and Kevin tagged along to see our place. He left after a little bit to catch the last train and then we all had some much needed sleep.

[samwell-actually]

Zimbits Fic-Rec

Although I have my all-time favorite OMGCP fic bookmarked on my Ao3 page, I wanted to compile a master list of all of my favorite OMGCP Ao3 fic to have in one place on my tumblr. And since I’m that neurotic, I thought it might also be nice to break-up each ship as well: 

You Never Said You Wouldn’t So Here I Am | emmagrant01 One-Shot, 10k. Eric just wants to get past this crush, but Jack keeps getting in the way.

Phone, Please! | twentysomething One-Shot, 5k Five Times Jack Took Bitty's Phone (And One Time Bitty Put It Away Himself)

Ice Crew Please! | rosepetals42 Completed Multi-Chapter, 61k Jack Zimmermann was drafted first by the Providence Falconers when he was eighteen years old. He is good at hockey. Very good. Jack should be on top of the world. And some days, he manages to convince himself he is. He’s not, of course. Enter the Ice Crew.

écrit dans les étoiles | gurlsrool One-Shot, 5k Jack didn't go to Samwell and Bitty doesn't follow hockey but through the bathroom of a Beyoncé concert, a ticket to a Bruins game, and a lot of texting, they come together anyways.

Positive Image | twentysomething One-Shot, 4k When Bittle first showed up at a meeting with management, sitting next to Sara with wide, scared eyes, Jack didn't think he had a chance in hell.

I never saw the signs | biblionerd07 One-Shot, 4k Bitty gets asked out on a date, but he's already spoken for. It wouldn't be a problem, really, except he didn't know he was already spoken for.

Mixing It Up | sinspiration Completed Multi-Chapter, 41k Eric Bittle, of Bitty's Bakery, is very excited to have been chosen as a contestant for the Food Network Challenge. He's even more excited to find out that he's making a cake for the NHL new-Cup winners, the Falconers.

Being in Motion | marswithghosts Completed Multi-Chapter, 54k Watching a college boy jerk off online for money is not what Jack Zimmermann ever saw himself doing. Getting to know that boy is something he expected even less.

found out | applecrumbledore Completed Multi-Chapter, 20k “Bitty, you have finally rose to the rank of ‘bad roommate who brings people home and has loud sex,’ and we love it. It’s lonely here at the top. And now, you’ve joined us.”No one notices Jack, at the far end of the table, staring at his bacon.

A Little Bit Closer | marswithghosts Completed Multi-Chapter, 108k Children’s librarian Eric Bittle falls for Boston Bruins forward Jack Zimmermann.

Hold It All At Bay | psocoptera Completed Multii-Chapter, 50k The theory of extrapolative synchronization of the mirror neurons was debunked back when he was still in his teens, so Jack is reluctant to mention that he can smell Bitty's pies baking from across campus.

naked ambition | asfroste One-Shot, 2k The one where Jack strips down for ESPN The Magazine's Body Issue and Bitty has some...issues with it. issues involving inconvenient boners.]

live through this and you won’t look back | nighimpossible One Shot, 4k The worst part about falling in love with a straight boy is definitely not watching him date girls. No, the worst part about falling in love with a straight boy is that you never even had a shot.

Here Come the Dreams | porcupinegirl Completed Multi-Chapter, 26k Sometimes it seems like Jack can't go anywhere in Providence without being hounded for autographs, so he's relieved when the people who work at the coffee shop in his new neighborhood don't seem to recognize him.But the cute baker who owns the shop, Eric, has a few surprises for him - and maybe Jack has a few of his own in return.

say it’s been a long six months | biblionerd07 One-Shot, 10k Jack falls in love, comes out, and loses his friends. Not quite in that order.

Helpless | emmagrant01 One-Shot, 19k “So we should ask Bits and Lardo to come with us to New York,” Shitty said. Jack turned to look at him, frowning. “Seriously?”“ Yeah, man. I mean, I know this was supposed to be just you and me, but… We both know those two are gonna be part of our lives after graduation. It’d just be like. Getting a head start on it.”

make this house a home | bleepobleep One-Shot, 2k With the prospect of an empty Haus for Thanksgiving, Jack invites Bitty over to his new place in Providence. As friends, of course.

i don’t see your name on it | heyfightme One-Shot, 5k that old chestnut of soulmates’ names being branded on each others’ wrists. jack and bitty, from the moment their names appear to the beginning of the rest of their lives.

Catfishing for Dummies | andquitefrankly Completed Multi-Chapter, 12k Eric Bittle hadn’t planned on signing up for online dating.He also hadn’t planned on messaging the super obvious catfish masquerading as Jack Zimmermann. And he definitely hadn’t planned on possibly falling in love with him.

if there’s anything on my face you put it there | jedusaur One-Shot, 2k “You don’t have to tell them it was me. I mean, you don’t have to do anything. I’ll stop leaving marks if you want me to. Just…“ He lifts up Jack’s shirt and touches one of the hickeys. When he looks back up, his eyes have gone dark. “I really, really like it. Do you mind?”

forget the wax and feathers | decinq One-Shot, 6k Bittle scores against Yale and Jack acts like a son of a bitch. They’re not friends.

bold; over the worst of it | decinq One-Shot, 3k “Spring C,” Jack says, “is full of mystery.”

when it’s over (you’re the start) | onawingandaswear Completed Multi-Chapter, 13k Jack goes to sleep in Providence next to his boyfriend and wakes up in Montréal to discover he’s been in a coma since 2009. Refusing to believe Samwell, Bitty, and the Falconers were all a dream, Jack tracks down the real Shitty, Lardo, Ransom, and Holster to find they’ve shared the same group hallucination for years. Now, they’re on a mission to find Bitty, the love of Jack’s non-existent life, and the only member of SMH they can’t seem to get in contact with.

is it too late now to say sorry | magneticwave One-Shot, 5k I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS, Eric types furiously into Twitter. THIS IS LIKE RENAMING LAKE WOEBEGONE “LAKE SCOTT WALKER.” // Or, the only person in the entirety of Canada who is upset about Jack Zimmermann’s first Stanley Cup is Eric Bittle, and by God is every single one of Eric’s 160,000 Twitter followers going to hear about it.

providence loves you | nightwatch One-Shot, 8k Bitty loses his phone.He dies (approximately) a thousand deaths when he finds out that it’s Jack Zimmermann who found it.

through the crowd | kirkaut One-Shot, 4k The notification sound isn’t the one that he’s got assigned to Jack, which is why he doesn’t feel any panic when Holster hums an agreement and leans over to peer at Bitty’s phone screen.At least, not until Holster says his name in the tone of a person with a slowly growing suspicion. “Bitty,” he says, very expectantly. “Who is ‘Good Robert’, and why is he blowing up your phone?”

the backpacker’s guide to the aftermath of gap year hookups | heyfightme Completed Multi-Chapter, 20k In which Eric Bittle absconds from Georgia with half a year of hard-earned savings, and makes the most of his six months before starting college living a backpacker’s dream in Europe. On the final night of his travels, the night before a giant reality check and with the threat of a future looming over him, he meets a fellow traveler. There is etiquette, for sure, about hooking up in a hostel dorm.

gonna wanna make it move | decinq One-Shot, 8k He spends so much time thinking ahead–being careful, holding onto everything so tightly with his shaking hands–that it’s easy to forget that he’s an honest to god dipshit.

Jack Zimmermann is a Masochistic Fuckwit | porcupinegirl One-Shot, 11k Bitty decides to go home for Thanksgiving his sophomore year - so he can come out to his parents. When Coach Bittle is in denial, the boys in the Haus decide that Bitty needs to bring a boyfriend home for Winter Break. A boyfriend chosen from the very attractive ranks of SMH, of course.Why does Jack volunteer?Because he’s a masochistic fuckwit, that’s why.

Passing Notes | marswithghosts One-Shot, 4k Jack Zimmermann is charming, and Bitty enjoys the way he writes the B in Bittle. He knows he’s being stupid, but his life consists of seventh graders and baking pies; he’s allowed to have a little bit of a fantasy.

the road leads back to you | heyfightme One-Shot, 9k Bitty meets Jack Zimmermann on 5 AM on a Sunday morning after someone set their grilled cheese on fire in his dorm. He doesn’t really expect that they’ll become friends. Or that he’ll become friends with an entire hockey team.

someone to count on (and other cheesy idioms about finding your soulmate) | heyfightme & Omgpieplease One-Shot, 9k (+ art!) Another soulmate AU, this time with pining, lying, and a lot of assumptions.

Bad Coffee and Ugly Running Shoes | alocalband One-Shot, 4k The Captain of the Providence Falconers lives in Bitty’s neighborhood. Well, more specifically, he lives somewhere within jogging distance of Bitty’s barely surviving first venture into small business ownership. During the preseason, he visits Bitty’s bakery at exactly 6:35 in the morning every weekday, without fail. He keeps his gorgeous blue eyes trained on anything and everything that isn’t another human being the entire time he’s there. And he only ever buys a cup of coffee. Bitty kind of hates him.

give my regards to summer romance | gurlsrool One-Shot, 2k SK 6:48 p.m.FUCKINDEETSJACKFUCKINLAURENTFUCKINZIMMERFUCKINMANN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JZ 6:50 p.m. It was nice.

Just Spit It Out | porcupinegirl One-Shot, 2k Jack can't believe he just heard the words on his soulmark from the mouth of the gorgeous new waiter at the diner he frequents. But now the pressure is on - what if he says the wrong thing back? Can you screw up meeting your soulmate?

All the Love in the World | alocalband One-Shot, 3k Bitty’s hands are shaking. He has five missed calls from Jack, two from Chowder, one from Lardo, and an astronomical number of yet to be viewed text messages. It’s not that he hasn’t been checking his phone, it’s that every time he’s picked it up at an alert, all he’s been able to do is stare at it. Which is what he’s doing now, as he waits for his mother to finish speaking with the doctor at Coach’s bedside.

the road leads back to you | gurlsrool One-Shot, 9k “That’s prom, right? You walk in on your friends boning, bone someone yourself, eat some chips.” / The boys find out Bitty didn't get to attend his high school prom so they throw their own.

Will Wonders Never Cease | porcupinegirl Completed Multi-Chapter, 57k You’ve Got Mail with a magical twist.

A Clerical Error | 1electricpirate One-Shot, 7k “There aren’t any twins left,” Lardo’s telling them, stress evident in the corners of her eyes and the tight clench of her jaw. The hotel is cheap and conveniently located, but the payoff for that is terrible management and a logistical nightmare. “Just a double. You’ll have to share.

Eric Bittle Got Married | emmagrant01 One-Shot, 27k If you could do it all again, would you change anything? (The time travel fic no one asked for.)

Something Rational | porcupinegirl One-Shot, 1k Jack knows tonight was a turning point, but it's not over yet. He won't be able to relax until he's sure they're on the same page about this.

It’s an Investment | imaginarycircus One-Shot, 1k Jack hasn't bought anything for his kitchen in Providence because he wants Bitty to pick everything out. That way he'll feel right at home when he moves in, but they haven't talked about that yet.

Graduation Day | iboatedhere One-Shot, 27k It takes Jack 50 days to finally see what's been right in front of him for the past two years.

the road leads back to you | heyfightme Completed Multi-Chapter, 56k Jack Zimmermann is an established hockey player. He’s three years in to his NHL career, has had the A for the Falconers for two and a half, and is ready to make winners out of the new group of rookies. He pulls one under his wing, affectionately nicknamed Poots, and it should all go as planned. But say Jack accidentally discovers that Poots has a boyfriend. And say that Poots wasn’t a very good boyfriend. And say, for arguments’ sake, Poots’ boyfriend definitely deserved better. Jack is maybe, possibly, totally fucked.

don’t you tell me i’m dreaming | gurlsrool One-Shot, 4k “It’s me,” Jack’s voice comes low and hits him hard. You are not in love, Bitty reminds himself. He is not in love with you and you are not in love with him.

[niuniente]

I don't wanna bug you (I'm more of a lurker and I love your art) but do you have any tips for spending as little as possible in Japan besides staying at a friend's house? I'm finally going to go myself in the summer but most of my money will be spent on air fare and accommodations.

Accommodation is super expensive in Japan, that’s for sure…!Here are some tips:

Buy everything you need (gifts, souvenirs etc.) from 100 yen shops. Biggest brands, which you can find everywhere, are Daiso and Seria. You can get literally ANYTHING from them with 100 yen (1 USD/ 0.85 euro); decoration, bath stuff, dishware, utensils, toys, accessories, socks, cooking, drawing, pens, slippers, mittens, cosmetics, gardening, toilet stuff, towels, ties, stockings, storage, office items, DIY, letter sets, incenses, pillows, traditional stuff, fans, statues… Seriously, you don’t need to set your foot in any other store! Note that Daiso has snacks and drinks, but Seria doesn’t.There are also many individual, private owned 100 yen shops.Favor also 300 yen shops like 3 Coins. Same deal as with 100 yen shops but they are often smaller and everything costs 300 yen.For manga, magazine, doujinshi, DVDs, CDs, drama CDs and books head to BOOK OFF. You’ll find them everywhere and their recycled items start from 300 yen. 

Food is expensive but eating out is rather cheap if you favor noodle shops, ramen places and such. Isakaya restaurants are cheap to eat, but they are more like food-bars where people go to drink and eat cheaply. Cafes are pricey.In many bigger supermarkets there are water kettles and microwaves for you to prepare your lunch on the go. Noodles are cheap, so is rice, tofu, soy and fish. Fruits, candy, ice cream, bakery and meat are expensive. From drinks you can get bottled teas cheaply. Don’t use drink vending machines unless you really want to (because the experience), as you can get drink cheaper from stores.When looking for restaurants, check out the small side alleys as they always have cheaper food! It’s good idea to carry some snacks with you, so head for example to Daiso. Naturally places located near tourist spots and stations are pricey.

Avoid going by JR and favor other subway and train companies when moving in a city/between cities, if possible. JR connections are more direct but also more expensive. Konomiya supermarket has 10% OFF sale on Mondays. If you happen to come across a Konomiya, it’s nice idea to stock your food from there on Monday. The 10% is taken off from your total sum of all of your purchases. Don’t buy the JR Rail Pass unless you plan to travel REALLY long distances very often! Nor don’t buy Kansai Pass either unless you plan to travel through whole Kansai with multiple train changes. The fees between cities are often less when purchased individually than with the passes. For example let’s say you are going to Kyoto from Osaka and you’d do 3 different day trips there. Individually one trip is around 450 yen so 3 trips between Osaka-Kyoto-Osaka with regular train tickets are  2 700 yen. Kansai Pass is 5 000 yen and if you’d use it only between Osaka-Kyoto-Osaka, you’d be paying 2 300 yen extra for nothing. Check if the city has got a day pass for subways. Not all cities have these, but Osaka is one with day subway pass. You can travel as much with a subway as you want with the day pass. Osaka’s pass prices are 600 yen/day on Mondays to Fridays, and 800 yen/day on Saturday and Sunday.If you are planning to buy fan items, prepare to say goodbye to your money..! This includes doujinshis.  They are generally very expensive! In Tokyo, Akihabara has recycling places where you can find used fan items starting from 100 yen. In Osaka, similar shops are located in Den Den Town. Honestly, you save the most money during Japan travel by favoring the 100 yen shops. I kid you not. There’s  no need to pay 800 yen for one ceramic bowl when you can get one from 100 yen shop.EDIT: @going1582 gave more good tips:For manga, doujinshi,drama CDs, games and some idol stuff; Mandarake is a wonderful place to go. Everything is second hand but in good condition. I’ve seen selected shelves where the manga in them is for only 57 yen. Also, a lot of supermarkets have discounts in their prepared meals starting around 6:00 pm ish. The more late you go, you can find bigger discounts.

[thetaekswoon]

DAY6 Jae| Camp Counselor AU

This isn’t a part 2, but I kind of want to make these camp counselor aus into a series or something I do for a lot of groups because it’s just so much fun to write, and I also have such strong roots back to my sleepaway camp from back in the day.  Shoutout to any ASITs if they’re reading this lol!

I hope this was what you wanted!

Jae:

CIT (Counselor in Training) Boys Cabin Leader

Jae prefers to spend more time with the older campers than the young ones, he likes that he can feel and act more like himself around them and joke around more freely, he doesn’t feel trapped acting only as their babysitter.

Not only that but Jae is definitely a camp favorite among all of the older campers because he is just so cool and funny and chill, unlike many of the other counselors who prefer to keep their relationship with the campers primarily professional, Jae makes friends with every camper he sees.

 and it’s not just him being friendly or anything, Jae honestly tries to become best friends with every camper.

, but it’s still something about the older campers that draws him to hang out with them the most.

Like during meals Jae always sits at the CIT’s table and eats with all of his CITs, joking around while almost all of the other counselors are sitting with each other on the other side of the dining hall, away from the campers while they can,

, and hanging out with the kids never seemed like a chore or a job to Jae because, well.... they’re people???  And if you actually take the time to listen and interact with them they’re actually really funny, like seriously some of these kids in the CIT program are only a year or two younger than some of the counselors, so treating them any differently than you would your counselor friends is just stupid to Jae.

  Like have you ever heard CITs Chenle and Renjun make fun of first year counselor Mark of the Red Fox cabin?  It’s freaking hilarious and gets Jae rolling on the ground practically sobbing every time.

Speaking of the CITs, Jae prefers being a CIT Leader over a normal counselor any day, and is so glad that he got the job because working with the CITs is so much cooler than working with the small campers because they’re cooler they already have been attending the camp for several years (it’s a requirement to be in the CIT program that you have been at camp for at least 3 years), so they know everything about the place through and through, even more so than some of the counselors,

, there is a working xbox in the CIT Lounge while the one in the staff lounge broke months ago and no one wants to go pay for a new one,

, the CITs get to participate in exciting and different events that the other campers aren’t allowed to.

For example, the CITs don’t really have a set schedule for the day like all the campers do, so what Jae and his CITs do changes everyday, and one day he’ll take them fishing in the lake, but the next they’ll be baking small blueberry tarts for the girl CITs,

 and finally the CITs are granted permission to leave camp grounds once a week for a day out,

, and the day outs are always so much fun because they travel to fun places like the zoo, amusement and water parks, and go out for dinner before heading back to camp.

Jae is ALWAYS playing his guitar.

In between courses Jae will be chilling with his guitar under the sun in the center of the camp’s big grass field, and campers will just start surrounding him and one thing leads to another and they’re all singing Wonderwall and it sounds awful because everyone is making a joke out of it, but still ahhh (such a head canon of mine tbh messing around and singing wonderwall with jae)

around the campfire during the evening activity,

and other times he’ll just sing his CIT boys a lullaby to help them fall asleep after a long day of cleaning out storage shed out by the lakefront.

Though Jae is basically always with his CITs, he also manages to teach one class a day for all of the campers....

Can you guess what it is?....

MUSIC AND GUITAR OBVIOUSLY!!!!

Every day at around 11 am, Jae greets his guitar class in the theater building (it has the best acoustics) and has everyone sit in a circle and play what they had been practicing for the last few days.

 tbh Jae’s guitar class was such a popular class for the campers to take because he was such a good teacher that the class became overcrowded and it became evident that he couldn’t have just one guitar class anymore

, so counselor Sanha stepped in and helps Jae teach, and runs his own guitar classes during time slots that Jae is busy with his CITs.

Jae’s counselor is very summer, very much dealing with the heat.

He is almost always wearing a tie-dyed shirt and beige shorts.  A rope necklace and these shorts are his iconic look.

sometimes he wears a bucket hat because the forecast suggested that the sun is going to be stronger than usual, and CIT Kyla laughs endlessly at his ears sticking out from the sides when he does this.

Big glasses accidentally reflect the sun into people’s eyes while he talks to them outside... whoops.

Overall, Jae is the sleepaway camp’s lovable dork counselor who plays the guitar and eats too much pizza.

, and you’re one of the CIT Leaders for the girls, and have known Jae ever since you both started to come to the camp when you were 5 and 6, and were in the Coyote and Hare cabins.

Way back then Leeteuk was still a counselor for the Coyote Cabin, but know he has made his way up the ranks to be one of the camp directors, and is your BOSS!

Anyway, you’ve known Jae and have been friends literally since before you learned your multiplications tables, and now here you are serving your favorite place on earth as CIT Leaders.

  You and Jae are both a little over the top when it comes to camp cheers and the such because well, you’ve both been there for so long, this place is like your home, if you guys wanna shout the words to BLACK SOCKS you will.

“BLACK SOCKS THEY NEVER GET DIRTY THE LONGER YOU WEAR THEM THE BLACKER THEY GET

SOMETIMES I THINK I SHOULD WASH THEM BUT SOMETHING INSIDE ME KEEPS SAYING NOT YET

NOT YET

NOT YET”

(repeat several more times each getting louder and faster and more aggressive until you literally can’t keep up anymore)

Sometimes in the middle of the night when everyone is supposed to be sleeping you’ll gather all of the CITs and tell ghost stories to them, that may actually leave poor little Jeno weeping and begging Chenle not to do that dolphin laugh because he keeps getting scared.

, anyway you and Jae are basically as close as friends can be to each other and sometimes campers joke around that you two are like a married couple because of it, but every time they something like that you two can’t help, but laugh because it just all sounds so ridiculous...

.... doesn’t it?

that is until the CIT day out comes around, and this week you are all going to the waterpark and then a fireworks show because the Fourth of July is right around the corner, and how fun would it be to go out and run around with sparklers and actually see some good fireworks for a change?  Instead of the short and cheap fireworks show that the camp prepares for all the kids during this time of the summer.

So, you guys load all of the CITs into the camp vans and drive off to the waterpark which is two hours away.

 arriving at the waterpark is a bunch of madness because you, Jae and the other CIT Leaders need to organize all of the tickets for everyone, and then it becomes a matter of checking everybody in, and finally you can all relax.

It wasn’t seeing Jae shirtless that finally did it for you, you had seen him shirtless hundreds of times before, after all you two do both work at a summer camp.

For whatever stupid reason, it was seeing him walk out of the boys changing room wearing his bright violet swimming shorts, a bucket hat, floaties on both arms, and crocs.

like what kind of person? you thought, only Jae, your cute best friend, and then suddenly you realized you just called your best friend cute in your head, but you didn’t mean like cute cute like puppy-dog or stupid cute, you meant cute in a like-like kind of way and you slap yourself on your head.

“Y/N have you gone mad hitting yourself again?” Jae asks, pretending to be concerned and act like a doctor, looking into your eyes and asking for you to stick out you tongue and say ahhh, “I’d say it might be mad cow disease, but we can’t be sure until the test results co-”

“Quit it dumbass, I just realized I forgot something back in the van.” you say, pretending to look through your bag for something.

“It wasn’t sunscreen was it?  I can already feel the sun pelting down onto me.”

you were lying when you said you forgot something in the van, but then you realize that you really did forget your sunscreen, that or it must have fallen out of your bag because it wasn’t there anymore.

You nod,

“Dammit Y/N, the park people won’t let you back in if you leave, don’t worry, I won’t let you burn.” Jae says, “I still got some left.”

turns out Jae’s sunscreen wasn’t a strong enough spf for you, so by the time you and the CITs leave the waterpark and arrive at the place where the fireworks show is happening your shoulders are burnt bright red.

Jae keeps apologizing to you all throughout the fireworks show, but you keep telling him that it wasn’t his fault, that you probably should have reapplied the lotion when your shoulders started to feel hot.

, and somehow, by the time that you get back to camp, Jae somehow convinces you to let him lend you some of the aloe that he has in his cabin.

And then he... puts it on your himself?

tbh it was cold and awkward and giggly, and felt kind of strangely intimate,

and Jae is blushing all over, 

because he has always seen you as his gorgeous best friend in the whole wide world, but he’s been wanting to see you as more than just that recently and now you’re letting him put his hands on you kinda and you’re so close that he can smell your hair which still smells of chlorine from the waterpark 

,,, and it a moment of boldness Jae announces that he is going to kiss you.

And you let him.

Dating Jae is almost exactly the same as before, except now theres a lot more cuddling, and skinship in general.

Jae always greets you in the mornings with a quick peck on the cheek (staff aren’t allowed to show any form of pda around the campers) and a surprisingly sweaty hug, like come on the heat hasn’t even kicked up yet Jae.

Whenever you two go out on solo dates into town on your day off, which is almost never on the same day because you are both working with the CITs and there are a very limited number of CIT staff, but when you do you always make the most out of it.

, going to restaurants downtown and being able to hold your hands in public

The teasing never seems to stop coming from CITs Guanlin and Somi, who figured out that you two were dating in a matter of minutes, and constantly need to exert the small amount of power that they have over you.

“Hey Y/N is that a MOSQUITO BITE on your NECK *gasp* ???!!?!”  They’ll shout at you when you walk into the lounge after your breaks,

“Or maybe it was a vampire considering how obvious it is by the mark that they were out for blood.  What do you think Jae?  Doesn’t Y/N look like they were just attacked by a vampire teehee?”

<><> do not edit/remove anything from the original post <><> this AU belongs to me <><>

[dumparchivesblog]

Since last year, I’ve already been planning out on where to go and what to doon my birthday. As you guys know, I went on a beach trip last weekend (January 6-8) in La Union for my 24th birthday in which I already posted some photos here. I’ll be sharing with you guys some more details regarding this trip incase you'd want to take a visit or plan to spend your vacation in La Union in the future. In this blog, you’ll find a guide on how to get there, fares, where to stay, and expenses. I’ll be having a separate post for the places you can eat around La Union.

I don’t really know much about La Union aside from the fact that it’s the surfing capital of the Philippines. It was my first time to go there and just relied on google and maps in locating places. Also read a lot of blogs before this trip so I know my how to’s and must try places. Find more about this trip by reading the whole post :-)

How to get there:

1. Ride a bus going to Vigan/Laoag. (Partas Cubao and Pasay is the best option as per other bloggers as well, they said there’s a direct bus going to La Union but I wasn’t able to find one lol. It took me almost 7 hours to get there due to stop overs. I saw that you can book a direct ticket through this website. One way fare is 449php)

2. Drop off in San Juan (the driver might ask you where in San Juan, depends on where you’ll be staying but I did drop off at San Juan Surf Resort. If you don’t wanna walk, there’s a tricycle terminal nearby at 40php if you’re solo and 10php per head if 3-4 persons)

Our bus left at 6am and I think there’s an hour interval per bus (not quite sure tho). We had about 3 stopovers I think that’s why I found the trip long. But they say usually it’s just around 4-6 hours. I arrived at my hostel around 12:30pm.

Where to stay:

CHARLIE’S SURF & HANGAR HOSTEL

I was originally supposed to book my stay at Flotsam and Jetsam Hostel. However, there’s no available room in the dorm type that I wanted for January 6 and I didn’t want to change hostel. Luckily, I found this newly opened hostel called Charlie’s surf and hangar. I was chatting with my surfing instructor and he told me he was teaching one of the owner’s daughter of that hostel and told me they were a family of pilots. So maybe that’s the story behind their interior. It was so cool seeing this big plane (which you can actually enter inside).

I booked for the 8-bed dorm for 750php each night. It’s air-conditioned and shared by both males and females. They keys were electronic which you can tap at the doors for you to enter. They will also provide you keys for the locker and like a storage area where you can leave your gadgets while charging. They do have common bathrooms (separate male and female) and a lounge area with the seaside view. Each room has a veranda where you can hang your wet clothes. Aside from the 8-bed dorm, they also have a 4 and 6-bed dorm priced at 850php and 950php per night. There’s no free breakfast though unlike other hostels. If you want a cheap place to stay I would definitely recommend this place. It’s very neat, clean and a relaxing place to stay. 

What to do:

One thing you shouldn’t miss doing in La Union is to go surfing. 

San Juan Surf School (own by famous surfer Luke Landrigan) offers surfing lessons for 400php inclusive of the board rent and instructor per hour. If you already know how to surf, their surf boards are available for rent at 200php per hour. They teach you the parts of the board and the basic positions and how to’s of surfing. Aside from surfing they also have paddle board, skim board, and kayak that you can rent. My instructor, Kuya Joel told me that some people where asking them why their quite expensive compared if you go surfing in Zambales or other areas. The reason behind it is that their instructors have permits and they undergo training. I went surfing on my 2nd day for 1 hour and a half and another 2 hours on my 3rd day. It was so addicting. Although my arms hurts from paddling. 

Overall, it was really great experience. I’ll definitely come back here. I still have a lot of things on my list that I wasn’t really able to try. I wanna go trekking to Tangadan falls next time and go cliff jumping. There’s just so much to explore in the beautiful place of La Union. By the way, sorry if I only have a few photos. Lol. I didn’t really take a lot of pictures and just enjoyed the moment. And most of my photos are food photos. Hahaha. Lol. Watch out for my next post! :-)