#but I also have advantages like I’m disabled and don’t have the energy to go to class most days so then I can read when someone

[boneless-mika]

Yes it’s annoying when people accuse people who read 100+ books a year of somehow cheating at reading but I’d argue it’s even more annoying when people respond to that by saying “It’s easy to read 100+ books a year. Anyone can do it. Just replace your screen time with reading.”

[puppyvenom]

crutchie - akb vs matthew duckett !!!!

alternatively titled - cast disabled people jesus christ

listen i am having so many thoughts and feelings about crutchie and at the risk of annoying the fuck out of my partner i am putting them on here instead!

prefacing this by saying:

i do not speak for all cripples

matthew’s duckett was my first real introduction to crutch and yes i am probably biased because of it (because matthew was an absolute sweetie when i met him)

i do not actually hate AKB as much as i dislike his crutchie

★

i think the main problem i have with his crutchie (and i understand that it is not entirely his fault at all!!!!) is that it’s so sanitised in so many ways. it is so of its time and not really in a good way, it came about in a period where representation wasn’t a big focus and i very much understand that, but i also hate it.

it’s so easy for disabled characters to fall into this weird ,sanitised, almost infantilising position, where their struggles are shown (abuse from the delanceys that was directly because of his disability, the fact he’s more likely to be put in the refuge because he’s seen as ‘weak’), but they’re bound by this kind of happy-go-lucky persona where they don’t show any real anger or upset. it’s fuelled by the abled need to see disabled characters as some sort of inspiration porn. “he’s crippled but look how happy he is despite that!!!!!! if he can do it i can too!!” he has this air of innocence and can-do-no-wrong that kinda falls a little flat compared to all his friends of the same age, and whilst this wouldn’t be a problem in itself, it fits a repeating pattern of the innocent, docile physically disabled person that is shown so much.

i loved matthew’s crutchie so much because he was so much more than that. he was happy, he was kind and an big laugh, but he didn’t shy away from being truly angry or scared (in the finale when he is brought back and cuffs snyder) and he was still a bit of a dick, he felt a lot more like he truly belonged. one of my favourite examples is at the start of the show the first time we see katherine, he helps one of the boys (i can’t remember which one) steal something from darcy and keeps it on him through the rest of the show. he’s as playful and annoying as the rest of them, shooting paper balls at them with his slingshot (especially during the finale, i love him so much for that). he has an attitude. he has the energy of a boy who was raised on the streets and knows what the fuck is what.

and thats what i think changes him the most for me. it’s all the same script (?) but it’s all so different when you think about how smart crutch actually is. i think the biggest change is my idea of him specifically when he’s being so nice to weasel at the beginning, when all the boys are being annoying and dicks, crutchie is so sweet. i don’t believe he’s doing that because he’s just such a nice guy who can look past weisel and the delancey’s being assholes to them, i think he realised quickly how to play the game. he’s gonna get sympathy, he knows that, and he knows if he acts all innocent and is overly kind, that they’ll somewhat pity him and he can use that to his advantage.

i hate being pitied by most people, i hate being looked at differently, like i’m almost helpless. but i also know how to use it to help myself, i know when i can play the poor little cripple card to my advantage. and i fully believe crutch does the same.

edited to add because i forgot to add this entire section in sorry!!

when i say sanitised i also mean literally. as in they made him cleaner. specifically in the finale again when he’s brought back from the refuge, broadway crutch looks way too clean. he’s a little bashed up but he’s not dirty. he doesn’t look like he’s been battered and then subjected to awful conditions. it takes away the impact of his time at the refuge. when he got back in the uk production they actively were disgusted by how much he smelled, because he’d just got out of a place where he couldn’t look after himself for a multitude of reasons. he suffered in there, mentally and physically, and in more ways than one. he was not given nice clean clothes and a pat on the back, he was taken out and put right back into the mess without much time to check himself over, without any time to process or heal.

i just think it has a much bigger impact when you can see, from his actual appearance and the other guys’ reactions, how much he actually struggled in there. they were glad to have him back of course, but it really drove home the point of how badly it affected him.

and once again in that scene, you could see the fear on his face and the anger when he faced snyder and when he made a move at him. he was fucking scared of the man that had subjected him to all of that. even when he was being a little goofy and put on the hat to handcuff him, there was still that fear, and there was evidence to why.

(end of edit)

but like i said, i don’t think it is entirely akb’s fault or his intention, he almost definitely wasn’t aware of the way it came off and how it perpetuates stereotypes. but it’s just another reason why giving disabled roles to disabled people is so important. plus we know how to use mobility aids properly

★

shoutout to my beloved partner who proof reads my shit and also is the reason i am into newsies . thank u babie @fizzloves-blog <3

[thestarlightsapphic]

I touched very lightly the other day on my experiences in theatre and music as a person with chronic health issues and invisible disabilities, which I’m really glad to have shared that, and that I’m talking more about that side of myself as a performer? Today, I’d love to share some of the things that I do that help me get through performance days or particularly strenuous days when my health is struggling. Disclaimer, I’m not a doctor by any means! These are things that I find can be beneficial to me, but they might not work for everyone! But, hopefully some of these are helpful for others! I’d also love to hear what others do!

For my lungs, I make a mixture of like. Black seed oil, raw honey, and apple cider vinegar. It tastes super sour, and pretty sweet as well, and it’s definitely not for everyone, but, I take this twice daily, and it does have a lot of benefits. I also steam my lungs when I have time! I either will shower and do like, extremely hot water. Or, sometimes, if I don’t want to get my hair wet (usually because it’s a performance day lol) I have boiled hot water, and then taken a towel and like, will hold my head over the pan and the towel over my head. Sometimes there’s like, tablets that I add, that help clear out my lungs!

When I have extreme chest pain, my whole body will feel like it’s shaking. It’s pretty intense, when that happens, I immediately will lay down and apply light pressure to my chest. I use like a weighted blanket sometimes, or if I’m backstage, I even will have a weighted item that’s comfortable!

I have a lot of nerve damage in my neck and brain, so unfortunately when those issues arise, there’s not a ton I can do? I get what I call the dizzy feelings? It’s like vertigo, but like, so much worse? Usually, I just need to lie down and be in darkness. I am looking for solutions for this one, so if anyone is still reading lol, and knows solutions for like. Migraine or vertigo like symptoms, I’m listening!

My hydration levels are also really bad, like terrible. I drink plain water and never feel hydrated enough. This is going to sound insane maybe, some people look at me horrified when they see me doing this, but I add a light amount of salt to my water. If my stomach is feeling bleh as well, I make a ginger ale cranberry with some salt.

I also have the advantage that I have a lovely lovely partner, who takes very good care of me on show days. Especially when my health is not doing great. They very lovingly will bring me medication, or food, or anything I need. If I need sugar to get my energy back, they immediately are on it. Sneaking me lemon bars or candy backstage from concessions lol. Or even like a soda. Soda is my typical go-to as a sugar boost honestly. They also will do laundry or chores or errands for me when I cannot physically move or am sick again. I am so grateful to have someone that loves me in a way to take care of me.

[skelletors]

MCYT as D&D Characters 6 - Scar

Well. The ending of Secret Life sure was something, huh?

Hello one and all and welcome to this very strange series where I turn various MCYTs into playable D&D characters! This was originally going to be someone else, but in light of recent events I decided, hey, I should dedicate this to the S-Tier player himself, GoodTimesWithScar.

A few ground rules for this thing:

This will not be balanced and the builds may not be very good. This isn’t for the minmaxers (not that there's anything wrong with that), this is purely based on either stories these people have participated in or their overall persona on the internet

These characters will go up to level 20, but in no way do you have to play them to the max level to get all the mechanics that make up the character

There will be little to no homebrew in these builds, just for my own ease of use.

I will be using standard array for all of these characters (15, 14, 13, 12, 10, 8) when determining the stats for these characters, also for my own ease of use.

Character Traits to Emulate

Conman extraordinaire

Jellie

Somehow always a wizard???

No thoughts head empty

Race, Class, Background and Stats

Race: Half-Elf (There were a couple options for Scar, but I decided on half-elf as a sort of compromise between his depictions as an elf and the fact that Scar has the most “just a guy” energy.

Ability Score Increase: +2 to Charisma, +1 to two other stats (We’ll go Dexterity and Constitution)

Darkvision: You can see in the dark! Not super important for the character, but pretty useful

Fey Ancestry: Advantage against being charmed and you can’t be put magically to sleep

Skill Versatility: You can have proficiency in any two skills. (It doesn’t matter what you pick, but I’ll chose Persuasion and Intimidation)

Background: Charlatan (In nearly every server Scar has appeared on, he has been a liar or a con man or a salesman. This is perfect for him!)

Proficiencies: Deception, Sleight of Hand, Disguise kit, Forgery kit

Class: Bard 20 (I debated on Ranger or Bard, but I decided on Bard because Scar is not wise. I’m sorry, he is the least perceptive, least insightful man I’ve ever seen. Obviously said with love.)

Stats:

Strength: 13

Dexterity: 12 + 1 = 13

Constitution: 14 + 1 = 15

Intelligence: 10

Wisdom: 8

Charisma: 15 + 2 = 17

An important note: Considering that Scar is a disabled content creator and has shown positivity towards his disability being incorporated into fanart, I find it very important to add that this build works in tandem with the Combat Wheelchair by Sara Thomson. While I don’t normally go into homebrew, mostly for my own sanity, this is a well-made piece of homebrew and as such, I feel it’s important to link here while making a D&D character based off of a wheelchair user. I won’t be touching on this further, as any upgrades that can be made to the wheelchair are based on how much money a party has, rather than level.

Level 1: Bard

Bardic Inspiration! You can inspire your allies and give them an extra die a number of times equal to your Charisma Modifier

Spellcasting! I’m not really going to focus on this, but at the end I’ll list some key spells for Scar. If I remember lmao

Level 2:

Bardic Inspiration! You can inspire your allies and give them an extra die a number of times equal to your Charisma Modifier

Spellcasting! I’m not really going to focus on this, but at the end I’ll list some key spells for Wilbur

Level 3:

Subclass time! Potentially the best time. Or at least a good time. Regardless of the quality of the time, one thing that is undeniable is that it’s time for Scar’s subclass. The subclass, of course, being…

College of Glamour! Coming straight at you from Xanathar’s Guide to Everything, College of Glamour bards focus on deceiving and trickery and are as flamboyant as the Feywild, where they often originate. Sounds very much like Scar, and in previous characters, Grian did also originate from the Feywild…

Mantle of Inspiration - As a bonus action, you can use one of your Bardic Inspiration die to give a number of creatures equal to your Charisma modifier within 60ft who can see you 5 temporary hit points. They can also use their reaction to move without taking opportunity attacks.

Enthralling Performance - If you are able to perform for at least one minute (singing, performing a poem, dancing, etc) you can select a number of creatures equal to your Charisma Modifier within 60ft of you who paid attention to your performance. They make a Wisdom saving throw, and on a failed throw they are charmed by you after an hour. The creature is not aware of being charmed or you attempting to charm them.

Expertise! You get double proficiency with skills you are already proficient in. We’ll go with Deception and Persuasion

Level 4: Bard

Ability Score Improvement. Let’s add a +2 to Charisma, for hopefully obvious reasons, bringing Scar’s Charisma score up to 19

Level 5: Bard

Bardic Inspiration Improvement. The die you use is now a d8

Font of Inspiration: You regain all expended Bardic Inspiration after a short rest

Level 6: Bard

Countercharm: You can play a tune to give any allies within 30ft advantage against charm effects

Mantle of Majesty - As a bonus action, you can cast Command without expelling a spell slot and take on the appearance of someone beautiful for one minute or until concentration on your spell ends. A creature charmed by you automatically fails it’s saving throw against the spell and once you use this feature, you can’t use it until you finish a long rest.

Level 7: Bard

Nothing happens here, just more spell slots

Level 8: Bard

Ability Score Increase! We’re taking a Feat now, we’re gonna go with Fey Touched. This gives you a +1 to your Charisma, Wisdom or Intelligence, we’re going with Charisma bringing you to 20. You also learn Misty Step and another 1st level enchantment or divination spell.

Level 9: Bard

Song of Rest buff! It’s now a d8

Level 10: Bard

Bardic Inspiration buff! It’s now a d10

Expertise: You can get expertise in two more skills! I’m not sure what would be fitting, maybe Arcana and Sleight of Hand

Magical Secrets: Hey. Hey you. Sad that Bard doesn’t have Counterspell naturally? Now you can have it! You can choose two spells from any spellcaster. These spells count towards your known spell and have to be within your spell level, but aside from that, the world is your oyster! You could also get Find Familiar and get your very own Jellie familiar!

Level 11: Bard

Again, nothing happens here other than more spell slots. But who’s complaining about more spell slots?

Level 12: Bard

ASI Time babyyyyyyyy. We’re gonna grab another feat, this time the Actor feat. This gives you a +1 to Charisma as well as giving you advantage whenever you’re pretending to be someone you’re not. Like maybe a certain pirate on a certain pirate server. Also, your Charisma is now 21. Amazing.

Level 13: Bard

Song of Rest is now a d10!

Level 14: Bard

Remember what I said about Magical Secrets above? Yeah, do that again.

Unbreakable Majesty - Your appearance permanently gains an otherworldly appearance, like that of the fey. Along with this, as a bonus action, whenever a creature tries to attack you for the first time on a turn, they must make a Charisma saving throw vs your spell save DC. On a failed save, they cannot attack you and must attack someone else. On a successful save, it can attack you but has disadvantage on any saving throw against your spell next turn. This lasts for a minute and you can only use it once per long or short rest.

Level 15: Bard

Bardic Inspiration buff! It’s now the big, beefy d12. Oooooo. Ahhhhhh.

Level 16: Bard

ASI Time baby! We’re taking yet another feat, and this time it’s the Lucky feat! It’s undeniable that Scar is a very lucky person, and this feat gives you three free rerolls every long rest, either a roll you make or an attack made against you. I’m pretty sure since death saving throws are saving throws, this effectively gives you free rerolls to not perma-die. Pretty useful, considering how prone to death Scar tends to be.

Level 17: Bard

Song of Rest is now a d12

Level 18: Bard

Magical Secrets. See above Magical Secrets.

Level 19: Bard

Here we are, the final ability score improvement. We’re taking one last feat, and that’s the Shadow Touched feat. You can add a +1 to Charisma, Intelligence or Wisdom, obviously we’re going for Charisma. You also learn invisibility and another 1st level illusion or necromancy spell, and there are some fun ones out there. Even at higher levels, upcasting 1st level spells can be powerful. This also bring’s Scar’s Charisma to a monstrous 22. That’s a base +5 to every Charisma check you make, not factoring in proficiencies and expertise.

Level 20: Bard

Superior Inspiration: Whenever you roll initiative and you have no more Bardic Inspiration die, you regain one use. I still think this is a lame capstone ability, but whatever. The rest of this has been insane, we can be a bit lame.

Key Spells:

Cantrips

Vicious Mockery

Friends

1st Level

Disguise Self

Silvery Barbs

Speak With Animals

Find Familiar

Charm Person

2nd Level

Crown of Madness

Gift of Gab

3rd Level

Counterspell

Hypnotic Pattern

4th Level

Charm Monster

5th Level

Seeming

Modify Memory

Dominate Person

6th Level

Mass Suggestion

7th Level

Project Image

Mordenkainen’s Magnificent Mansion

8th Level

Mind Blank

Dominate Monster

9th Level

Wish

And with that, we conclude yet another one of these! Feel free to request more CCs to D&D-ify, and I truly hope that you enjoyed this. I put quite a bit of thought into this, and I got to look into both a subclass and a gamestyle that I don’t normally go for.

[qqueenofhades]

Hi, do you have any tips on telling professors you’re dealing with depression? Like is it helpful to include details? Symptoms? It’s getting to the point in the last few days where I need to tell them something because I have assignments piling up and the symptoms I’m experiencing are getting pretty intense.

If It helps I think I’m dealing with atypical depression just based on how I relate to the symptoms list (leaden paralysis, oversleeping, severe rsd, can’t focus on anything even more than usual, just feeling an overwhelming physical emptiness in my brain). Ive been doing ok when I’m in class and I feel better then too, but when it’s done, as soon as I get home or am just you know trying to do my assignments or anything, it’s like a curtain falls on me. This has been creeping up on me for the last few weeks and I can recognize the circumstances that lead me here, but I feel like I’ve crossed a threshold in the last week from just having these worries and thoughts I could control to now this full blown physical Depression Experience that has control over me.

I don’t want to overshare so to speak and make my professors uncomfortable or permanently see me differently, but I also desperately want to be believed and accurately convey how disabled I feel right now in a practical sense. Just writing this all out to you took so much effort. I’m not really sure what to even ask for beyond extending my assignments to this weekend. This depression is so unlike what I’ve experienced in the past and I really don’t know where it’s going or what to expect. A part of me is hoping I’m just going to feel normal again in a few days but I can hardly think more than a few days out anyway.

I know all teachers are different but what would you want to hear and be ok with hearing from one of your students? What would you want to know?

Thank you so much for reading this and for any advice. I’m really sorry to just dump all of this here, I’m just not really sure where to turn right now. Please of course don’t feel pressured to answer. Thank you for your lovely blog and self. ❤️

Ooof. First of all, thanks for coming to me and I'm sure it took a lot of effort to put that together. I know that all-consuming, black-hole depression feeling, and it's not fun.

Here's what I would do:

First, reach out to your student counseling/health services center as a matter of priority. Almost every university has one, and they encourage you to take advantage of them. If that takes too much effort to do when you're in a funk, try to do it when you're on campus or have a little more energy. Say that you're really struggling and need to come in for an urgent appointment -- you don't need any more info than that, and they should be responsive/proactive about following up. There might also be a crisis line or priority email where you're assured a response in a certain amount of time.

Next, please do contact your professors and let them know what's going on! Here's a sample email for you:

Dear Dr. [Name],

I'm writing today to let you know in confidence that I'm experiencing severe mental health difficulties, which have been growing worse over the last few weeks and are negatively affecting my ability to participate in class. I am reaching out to the university counseling centers and other resources, but I am not feeling well at all and hope that you will be able to make adjustments to the deadline for [exam/project/paper etc -- fill in as necessary].

I will do my best to complete my work as expected, but please let me know if it is possible to arrange a meeting [via phone or Zoom if you don't want to come in], and discuss my options. I would like to know about the possibility of an incomplete grade or other ways to [pause/resolve/work with] my status for this semester.

I do apologize for any inconvenience, and hope that you'll be able to provide me with understanding and support in this difficult matter. I very much appreciate your time and consideration.

Best wishes,

[Your Name]

Hopefully, you can just copy and paste that with a minimum of effort, tweak it as necessary, and send to them. You can also reach out to the Disability Services office (as every university is required to have one) and see if accommodations can be made/allow you to complete work at a later date. If it's really bad, you also have the right to contact the university registrar and arrange for a leave of absence.

Anyway, this is to say: you have options to take care of yourself and make sure that the people around you know what is going on and can help develop a plan to deal with it, so please do take them! I know how awful and draining it feels, but if you need any other advice, please let me know, and I will do my best to answer. If you have a Tumblr account and want to DM me privately with more details, like the name of your university etc, I can also look for these resources and give you the information, so as to minimize the amount of pressure and extra work on you.

Hugs. <3

[capricorn-0mnikorn]

✨Character Foils✨: What they are, and a list of all of them in Jane Austen’s _Persuasion_

I’ve been saying, in my “Persuasion Listen- and Read-along” posts,* that Jane Austen had threaded so many character foils through this novel, you could make a Christmas tree decoration from it 🎄. I’ve been thinking about which discussion would be the best place for a full list. But since no post seems better than any other, I’m just going ahead and posting a stand-alone.

In case you don’t know what I’m talking about:

If I recall correctly, the term “character foil,” and phrases like “Character [A] is a foil for Character [B]” actually come from jewelry-making. When light hits a gemstone, some of it bounces off the surface and makes it look shiny. But some of it also passes through the stone and out the other side (which is why gems are often semitransparent). So a jeweler will put a piece of foil in the setting behind a gem, so the light that passes through it will bounce back through the surface and make the gem extra shiny.

And authors will put a foil (contrasting) character behind / next to the main character to help make the main character’s most important traits clear to the reader.

Most study guides for Persuasion, aimed at high-school students, that I’ve come across, point out that Louisa Musgrove  (young, playful, charming, impetuous, obstinate, apparent rival for the Captain Wentworth’s affection) is a foil character to Anne Elliot (older, pensive, watchful, patient, Responsible, former love of Captain Wentworth). And leave it at that.

But Jane Austen did not leave it at that (Buckle up for Spoilers)

In order of appearance:

The Whole Musgrove Family (a wealthy, but not an aristocratic family, embraces new ideas and fashions, is friendly with the poorer cousins, and holds dinner parties and dances almost every night because they’re fun) is a foil for Anne Elliot’s family ([Her father, two sisters, and her godmother, Lady Russell]. Anne’s family is obsessed with being Aristocrats,™ and “upholding the dignity of a baronetcy;” her sister hosts an annual ball for their town every year only because people expect the aristocrats to host annual balls).

Admiral Croft (good natured, practical, with an unaffected sense of humor, who doesn’t care much about his appearance) is a foil for Sir Walter Elliot (obsessed with his own -- and everyone’s else’s -- appearance and social rank, and is always putting on airs)

Mrs. (Sophia) Croft (Cheerful, rational, practical, woman, who is clearly an equal partner in her marriage to the Admiral) is a foil to Anne Elliot’s own late mother (unhappy with her life, who spent all her energy trying to compensate for her husband’s faults)

Louisa Musgrove see above.

The Fate of Captain Benwick and Fanny Harville (Captain Benwick proposed marriage to Fanny and she accepted. But her family told them to wait until after Captain Benwick had more money. Captain Benwick survived the Napoleonic Wars with a large fortune, but Fanny Harville fell ill and died just before he returned home) is a foil storyline to Anne Elliot’s and Captain Wentworth’s backstory (Captain Wentworth was also a navel officer with little money, only instead of telling them to wait, Anne’s family told her to break off the engagement altogether).

Mr. William Elliot (Anne’s cousin, and most likely heir to her family estate. In the second half of the book, he courts and flatters Anne, and Lady Russell wants them to marry) is a foil to Louisa Musgrove (who spent the first half of the novel flirting with Captain Wentworth, and whom everyone assumes he will eventually marry).

Mrs Smith (An old school friend of Anne’s, now disabled, widowed and saddled with her late husband’s debts, has a generally positive outlook on life while still having a clear vision of human nature, and is highly skeptical of the advantages of money and status in improving a person’s intelligence) is a foil to Lady Russell (Generally thought of a sensible woman, she nonetheless lets her “prejudice in favor of the aristocracy” blind her to aristocratic people’s character flaws, and puts her in danger of being taken advantage of).

And Finally:

The Cultural Values of the Navy (as illustrated through the characters and actions of Admiral and Mrs. Croft, Captain and Mrs. Harville, Captain Benwick, and Captain Wentworth: keeping your property in good shape [shipshape], being generous to your friends and family, doing what you see needs to be done, and having marriages based on equality and respect) is a macro-level foil to the Cultural Values of the Aristocratic Classes (obsessed with gossip, social status, fashion, and rank, and all the aristocratic marriages that are described in this novel are unhappy ones).

*Links to those discussions (so far): Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapters Three & Four, Chapters Five & Six, Chapters Seven & Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapters Ten & Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapters Thirteen, Fourteen, & Fifteen, Chapters Sixteen & Seventeen.

[childrensward]

Hi! It feels like it's been a while since I've posted some more personal-life stuff on here, so here's some things that have been on my mind lately:

Lately I've been doing good- like, really good. Of course my issues are still pervasive, I still suffer every day from them, but I feel more at peace with that fact. I feel as though I can think clearly for the first time in a long while, and I'm better able to cope with my disabilities. I have a lot more energy too, and things that used to tire me out completely don’t as much anymore, so I’ve been taking advantage of this and working to get myself back to functioning daily.

Because of this, I also haven't been involuntarily regressing as much as I used to- I've been healing a lot, and I think my brain is able to stay big for longer periods of time. That being said, I still very much do age dream and I'm still a child at heart, so I don't plan on leaving this blog anytime soon! The focus of my blog just might change a little over time as my recovery journey continues, but I'll still be here to make my silly little posts about kids stuff.

I'm sure there will still be times were I involuntarily regress again- progress isn't linear, and I can't expect myself to believe otherwise because that's only going to set me up for disappointment. But I feel confident enough to say that I think, this time around, I'll be able to cope with it better when it does come, and I'll start focusing on how I can make my little self feel more safe, protected and comfortable when it comes out when I'm feeling under the weather.

It's been wonderful to have found this community online, to have peace of mind knowing that I'm not the only one like this. It's very healing being around people who cope with things or have the same medical symptoms as you, and I thank you all for all of your interactions with this blog.

Have a wonderful day/night everyone

[financialsecrets]

Path to Financial Independence

GmaKelly Here to Brighten Your Day and Make the Frown Go Away!

I wanted to talk a bit about Financial Independence. I'm 61 yrs old and disabled so my Independence is pretty important to me, as I'm sure it is to you also. Follow along and let my show the Path to Financial Independence. At sometime in our lives we get to a point where we just don't want to work for someone else. We make an hourly or annual salary and "they" make all the money! How is that fair? None of us believe it is. But sometimes it just takes finding the right niche, the right program, the right moment in time!

This is that moment...

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What is Affiliate Marketing

Affiliate Marketing is when you sell a product or service for someone and they you a portion of the profit after the sale. That is just about as simple an explanation as it gets. And sounds like it should be fairly easy. It can be, but it requires a lot of time, energy, effort, and willingness to commit time on a daily basis to work toward your Independence. Patience and Perseverance pay off with Affiliate Marketing. There are 1,000;s of company's with Affiliate Programs. Some Reliable, Trustworthy, Dependable and Honest. Then there are some who are not. I like include this disclaimer, Do Your Due Diligence. Read Reviews, Look at Forums, Look at Facebook. Look for everything you can find about a company before you proceed. Then make an informed decision. I want to take this time to tell you about this program that I work with, yes I am an Affiliate and I will get paid if you purchase thru my link. OK housework is done.

About Wealthy Affiliate...

Wealthy Affiliate has been in business since 2005 They have nearly 2 Million affiliates They are available in nearly 200 countries After nearly 20 years in business they are experts in affiliate marketing You start the program with a NO COST STARTER PACKAGE! The No Cost Starter Package gives you a taste of what Wealthy Affiliate offers. A comprehensive program teaching with hands on videos walking through each and every lesson. Learn to search for keywords words that draw traffic to your site and make you money! Learn how to build your very own website with your own hands (that is so amazing). Place ads on social networking sights like Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, etc. Create blogs about your passions, interests and hobbies. The Training at WA The Training Modules within the Program are unrivaled and continue to grow exponentially. The Founders, Kyle and Carson are readily available to help you in any way they can and you will find them in the chat room daily. Where else would you have firsthand contact with the Founders of the Company? The Community as a whole is Global in its reach and the Chat is always available 24/7/365 to anyone who needs assistance in any way. I cannot say enough about this Community. These people are amazing in every way possible. I have had so much help, I can easily say you would not be reading this Online were it not for the fabulous folks in this Community. There are Two Core Training Modules: Online Entrepreneur Certification, to promote or sell your own or someone else s product or service. The other is the Affiliate Bootcamp, to promote Wealthy Affiliate and the many advantages it brings to its members. The No Cost Starter Package you have access to the first 5 lessons in each Module. Just look at what Wealthy Affiliate has to offer: - Perfect for beginner, you don't have to be a "techy" - Learn affiliate marketing from the Homepage to the Backoffice. - Classes, including video tutorials of each lesson or task. - Keyword/Niche finder: What is your Passion / Interest / Hobby? - Customizable website with Hosting (and a hosting package that can't be beat) - Worldwide networking. This community is amazing. The Hosting alone is worth it . Check out this Article I wrote: Host 3 Sites for $49.00 Here is a breakdown of the No Cost Starter Package and the Premium Package ($49)

Final ThoughtsPersonally I love it Here. I learned more in the first week with Wealthy Affiliate than I did in a year at Community College. And for a lot less money! My only regret is that I didn't invest in this Program when I first found it. But I'm here now. I'm about 6 weeks into the Bootcamp. I'm still learning every day and expect for that to continue indefinitely. I'm 61 years old, and I did this with ease. Kyle, One of the Founders, walks you thru each lesson in a video training, each step and explains why your taking that step. You won't find better people to work with Anywhere. Come Join Us and I'll be out there also to lend a hand wherever or whenever I can. At the very least check out the No Cost Starter Pack, and the Free Training. If after that your not starving for more, Well enjoy and it was nice meeting you. I don't expect that to happen. Just sayin. If you have any questions or comments about this article, please leave it below. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you for Sharing your Time with me, and have a Glorious Day! GmaKelly Wealthy Affiliate has so much to offer, You Won't Believe It! Read the full article

[hexjulia]

so I haven’t had a smartphone on me for, I think, about three weeks now? And I know this is something people make youtube videos about in which they pretend this solved all their problems, but I think it in fact lowered my quality of life mostly. Not in a very significant way or I would have found myself a new one faster but it’s definitely not improving anything.

- influencers seem to love announcing how much they read without a smartphone. Well I already did read books. I almost always have my ereader with me. I don’t think I’m reading more now tbh-- I mostly look at my phone when I’m doing things that cannot be combined with reading anyway.

- I miss listening to podcasts and audiobooks! As I did this frequently while cooking/cleaning I think I’m actually consuming significantly less information now.

-more prone to rumination when suffering from insomnia. At least I’m sure now my insomnia isn’t phone-use related now. It’s just more unpleasant this way.

- it makes me more forgetful. I use note-taking apps a lot and I’m just more likely, it appears, to make use of them than I am a physical notebook. I know people love to imagine adhd is caused by constant distraction of social media, but well it’s just that I do actually have real(tm) certified(tm) diagnosed young(tm) adhd and my brain isn’t going to change much based on whether I have wifi or not. My phone does function as a place to quickly store stray thoughts that later get worked out into more complex things or write notes about tasks I will otherwise forget to do-- which I now do!

Really starting to appreciate how much of my phone use is essentially disability related. I’m not generally very aware of adhd as a disability because I mostly experience adhd traits as an advantage. But. It’s also that I have years of experience managing things like the Memory Hole that swallows up things like a small task you put off for maybe a minute. And it appears I’ve built a lot of this into the way I use a smartphone.

I’m going to try a liiiiittle longer and try to actually use the little notepad I have on me but hm. This is mostly just deeply annoying and inconvenient. If I see a random plant I can’t identify I can’t just take a picture of it and ask The Web at large either. There don’t really seem to be any advantages except I guess lowered energy bills by a very, very small amount. I have a solar charger lol.

[neurospicy]

I honestly resent the “adhd and autism are superpowers and only struggle because of capitalism” narrative, and I find it deeply flawed and lacking in nuance to the point of being harmful.

Adhd and autism both exist on a spectrum. They are each their own cluster of traits/symptoms, and those exist in varying degrees based on the individual. Are there aspects to adhd and autism that are advantageous? Absolutely, but we can’t pretend that they exist in an advantageous way in all of us. Some people do have the “right” traits, dialed up to the “right” intensity, and that might allow them to take advantage of their neurodivergence in a way that helps them succeed.

That isn’t to say that they don’t also have struggles due to living in a neurotypical world as an adhd’er or autistic, but they might be able to overcome it. Another person may have all the adhd or autistic traits dialed up to 100, to the point that it’s too debilitating for them to take advantage of any positives that might exist. There are high support needs autistics, for one example, who regardless of whether they had to work to afford to live or not, would still need help with living. Help cooking, cleaning, bathing.

I have “severe” adhd and while I don’t have an official autism diagnosis, I know I am autistic. I never related to the energetic, social, novelty-seeking picture that is painted of people who have adhd. My autistic traits cancel out the “positives” of having adhd, while my adhd traits cancel out the “positives” of being autistic. I’m too burnt out and exhausted all of the time to put forth much mental energy. I freak out when things aren’t predictable. I can’t function if the room is too cold. I can’t eat if my food is too cold, too squishy, too chewy, doesn’t have the right sauce available, doesn’t have the drink I like with that particular food, etc. My interests are very narrow so I don’t have the typical adhd love of variety. Yet I also can’t stay organized or follow a routine. I can’t recall information properly when I need to. I’m not patient. I forget things that just happened 30 seconds ago. I can’t plan to save my life.

This also ignores that some people have no comorbidities or they only have one or two. Some have several to contend with. Some of us have learning disabilities. We aren’t all former gifted kids that just can’t follow traditional structures or sit still in class or at the office. Some of us are legitimately debilitated in all aspects of life. Some of us aren’t just struggling with going to a 9-5…some of us can’t even keep a 9-5 because of our symptoms.

Does capitalism make things significantly harder? Absolutely. But if capitalism were to vanish tomorrow, I still wouldn’t have the executive functioning to keep my space clean, to make myself food, or to stay consistent on my own chosen projects. I would still struggle with arfid. I would still have a delayed circadian rhythm. I would still struggle to make appointments and make phone calls for myself. And I would still struggle to connect with others or make friends with people who might help me with these things.

[chronicillschronicpills]

Hello! I saw an old post of yours abt sex and chronic pain and I guess I wanted to see if you or anyone else would have any advice for me!

I'm unfortunately having a bad flare day- and I think a large amount of it is because my partner and I did stuff yesterday. My partner is very sweet and kind about my condition, and always asks me during if the things we're doing are okay. The thing is, I always want to try even if it hurts because I love doing it and I miss being able to do it without such awful pain.

I can't find a position that doesn't make me hurt a lot afterward. Him on top of me makes my legs and hips hurt (legs in air), me on top of him makes my hips and knees hurt, from behind makes my hips and knees hurt, and forget any of my weight being on my hands. My disability has taken over every aspect of my life and I'm so frustrated. I just want to enjoy myself for once.

If you or anyone else has some advice on positions or pain relief I would really appreciate it!!! Thank you so much 💜💜💜

SEX AND CHRONIC ILLNESS;

Hi, there love,

I swear I have a defective Tumblr and I never get any noti's from my inbox, so I'm sorry if you sent this months ago!

I'm gonna try to give my best advice and hope that my followers will also help with advice.

First of all, pretty much any physical activity can throw me into a flare so I can understand that sex can definitely have a real impact on flares. You are most definitely not alone. I can also empathise with the frustration of your disability taking a lot from you and your life. I am so happy you're partner is supportive too and I hope that you guys are great at communicating with each other about sex which is probably the MOST important thing in this. I am going to give my advice under the assumption that you guys have great, healthy communication.

Sex positions that could be worth a try, it seems as if any stretching of the hips and pressure on the knees and hands are out of the questions so here are not only some of my all-time favourites, but also should be friendly for these issues:

Lazy doggy (lying face down on your stomach with your legs together): that way you don't need any weight bearing on knees or hands, no stretching of the hips and you basically just lay face down, I like this position as it also takes little energy and it's quite easy for you or your partner to stimulate your clitoris at the same time. you can also try this position with a pillow or wedge under your hips for a different angle and extra support on your hips

Spooning sex: I find this a great position, you just lay on your side, your good side that day, and sometimes putting a pillow between your knees can help with that.

I personally don't fuck with this position but standing up sex facing a wall is also considered to be pretty easy on these joints.

This one is slightly harder to explain (its a modified missionary variant) but if you are laying on your back and you put your legs straight or bent vertically and lay them on your partner's chest (kind of like an L position with the legs up), and then he would be either standing or on his knees (so your partner would be the P and u the L; PL). This means your hips aren't stretched outward, your knees and hands don't have pressure on them, your partner does not have their body weight on you and your partner can hold onto your legs for extra support. You can add a pillow under your hips for extra support. I really hope this makes sense, and if someone knows if this has an actual name, please help!

You could also try a seated position and you could face away from him to keep the hip angle easier

other general tips;

Take MAD advantage of pillows and wedges; this could help with him on top of you if you bulk up on either side of your hips so you don't have to strain or stretch as much.

Rethink your idea of sex: some days there may be no position that is comfortable. Sex is whatever feels good for you. You don't need penetration to have sex. Have your partner go down on you or stimulate you with their hands. If you really like the penetrative feeling, buy some toys and your partner can use them on you in any position that's comfy for you. Buy lots of sex toys, to be honest, that can be super fun and accessible. You can get full pleasure and give full pleasure without vagina/penis penetration.

Something my therapist has taught me is to pace myself and practice patience with MYSELF! I can tell you probably push yourself because you always want to still try even if it hurts. For example, I don't exercise, but one day I decided to go to the trampoline park and do gymnastics (i used to do gymnastics) and then was fucked for a week. Another example, I tried to do gymnastics at home and broke my foot. Just keep throwing myself into the deep end and end up making it worse; 1 step forward, 12 steps back. So pace yourself, and practice patience, and don't be too hard on yourself. Treat yourself with kindness.

I know sex is often spontaneous, but honestly stretching and warming up could help, and maybe even during foreplay, you could get a massage to warm up and connect with your partner. Also if you know you're going to have sex, you could take some painkillers or weed (if you're into it) beforehand.

I really really really hope that a) everything made sense and b) that it would actually help! Please send me a message if you feel comfortable if this helped at all.

Please leave your most accessible sex positions in the comments or reblog with advice!

[maulusque]

Clone genetic enhancement ideas

So the clones were genetically enhanced, but i don’t really see any writers (in fanfic or in published stuff) really exploring what that MEANS beyond “clone very stronk”. Here are some ideas that would actually make clones significantly different from just a regular-ass human in peak condition. 

-enhanced senses: eyesight, hearing, etc. I’m talking eyes like a HAWK

-better reflexes

-quicker information processing

-can hear sounds of higher and lower frequency than standard humans

-can see light of a broader spectrum than human standard

-learn quicker, retain information and skills better (potential problem: if you learn something the WRONG way, that way might stick really well)

-photographic memory (really useful for memorizing layouts and maps)

-immunity to various diseases

-can tolerate a wider range of temperatures and environments

-increased stamina and strength baseline. Clones can just run full-tilt for hours and hours and be like “ah a nice stroll”. Over long distances, they can out-pace jedi in the same way that humans can out-pace horses.

-higher tolerance of certain poisons/toxins (clones can straight-up drink ethanol, and get maybe a little tipsy)

-bodies respond quickly to physical stress, and slowly to the absence of it (basically, this means that physical conditioning results in stronger muscles and a stronger cardiovascular system really quickly, and it takes MUCH longer for a clone to lose strength and conditioning due to not exercising than standard humans. Think how much valuable training time is saved if they only have to go on a run like, once a month in order to stay in shape)

-increased ability to function through intense pain and acute injuries. Basically, semi-disabling the pain system so it’s less distracting. Probably not good for the survival of the individual in many situations, but an advantage on the battlefield. 

-heal faster and better, with fewer long-term complications. Clones can dislocate their shoulders and NOT have the joint be permanently fucked up, because the Kaminoans re-designed the whole damn thing to suck WAY less.

-actually, unique internal anatomy. There’s probably a lot about the human body besides the shoulder joint that is actually just really stupid, and something no intelligent designer would actually build. So the Kaminoans can fix a lot of that stuff. Better knees, maybe. Stronger ribs. Maybe Cody punches droids not just because he’s a mad bastard, but also because his metatarsals are literally as strong as steel. 

-Hearing loss/hearing damage? No problem, your ear can regrow those little hair-thingies that help you hear. 

-Of course, it takes energy to maintain muscle mass, which is why human bodies lose it if we’re not using it. Clones need significantly more calories than standard humans. However, their digestive systems are enhanced to extract calories and nutrients from food much more efficiently, so food goes much farther. Potential weird side effect: maybe clones only have to poop like, once a week?

-You could probably extend that into increased ability to tolerate long periods without food/on low rations, despite the increased need for calories. 

-wouldn’t it be NEAT if the kaminoans somehow designed self-repairing DNA. This would mean that others couldn’t take a DNA sample from a clone and modify it to create their own clones (basically, it protects their product. It’s like DRM for clones). This ALSO means that clones couldn’t get cancer, and that they’d be immune to radiation poisoning. So a clone could just walk up to a sphere of uranium at critical mass and pick it up. Maybe with oven mitts on if it’s hot. (this would also make it harder for a rapid-aging cure to be developed, but uhhhh fanfic writers find a way)

- “bred for obedience” I think most of this would have to be accomplished through tightly-controlled messaging and cultural norms as the clones grow up- basically, enshrining obedience as a desirable and almost sacred trait, to be prized higher than anything else, including the lives of your brothers. In the same way that we hear stories of people sacrificing their lives to protect their loved ones, the clones would grow up hearing stories of soldiers sacrificing their brothers’ lives to obey an order from a superior. 

-SOME of the “obedience” thing could be engineered, though. Humans are already super social, but it would probably make sense for the clones to have an even greater need for social bonds. This would make for greater teamwork and coordination, and better unit cohesion, since the clones would be more inclined to prioritize friendship/agreeing with someone over winning an argument. It would also make it so they’d bond with their natural-born generals more easily, so they would obey them not just because they’re supposed to, but because they’d be much quicker to see them as a friend, and someone who’s trust they want to earn, someone they want to incorporate into their group and make happy.

-consequently, clones who find themselves alone do NOT do well. Isolation has a much more profoundly negative impact on clones than on regular humans.

-Originally, clones designed to operate alone or in small teams would not have the social enhancement- ARC troopers, spec-ops teams, etc. There wouldn’t be much of a noticeable difference in everyday interactions, but they’d also be vaguely weirded out by what they interpret as aggressive friendliness from their brothers, and their brothers would think they’re a bit shy and standoffish. 

-actually this social modification would make it MUCH harder for clones to kill people. REGULAR HUMANS are already super bad at killing people- i remember reading this article about how as soon as soldiers have to point their weapons at actual people, their aim gets mysteriously much shittier. Even when compared to situations that are exactly the same, except they’re not shooting at other humans. So reconcile this how you will, idk.

-I imagine a lot of these enhancements would be accomplished not through DNA, but through microorganisms. Retroviruses could explain the DNA resistant to modification, and the increased healing speed, and possibly some disease resistance (do i know anything about retroviruses other than a vague concept of what they are? no i do not. will that stop me? also no.) Their metabolism can be partially explained through specially engineered gut microbes.

-not sure how they’d go about making clones “resistant to any stress”, because you can’t exactly turn off the trauma response in the brain without breaking a bunch of other things. They could probably do a bit of fiddling to make clones more resistant to chemical imbalances, and therefore more depression-resistant. I think most of the “stress-resistance” would have to come through training. Either they train the clones to basically suppress everything, which might work alright in the short term. OR they actually have systems in place that help prevent the development of things like PTSD and help treat trauma. Meaning the clones are literally trained in self-care, positive self-talk, talking about their pain with their brothers, and having community rituals around things like death and grief. I don’t think that’s super likely because one thing that’s integral to those concepts is the concept of “i am a person and i have worth, and if i feel angry about something bad happening, that is ok and valid�� and considering that a whole lot of bad things happen to the clones all the time and their childhood is a whole boatload of bad all happening at once, i don’t think the kaminoans would want the clones realizing “hey wait a minute i’m a person and i don’t deserve to be treated this way and it’s ok for me to be mad at you”. 

- the clones were supposedly engineered to be “less aggressive” but i think there was literally nothing more to that than a cover story for the control chip. The clones wouldn’t be raised with a lot of the aggressive western concept of masculinity, where anger is the default reaction to like, everything, and your personal pride is extremely important and also fragile (no offense lmao). So you wouldn’t have clones posturing and getting angry over perceived slights and fighting each other all the time, like everyone in-universe apparently expects to be the case. Anyway, why would you want your soldiers to be less aggressive? they’re literally supposed to fight and kill the enemy. You want them fully capable of getting angry, anger is the human response to fear and danger that lets us DO something about it. 

-obviously the biggest component in how they behave would be how they are raised, but that’s an entirely different post

-Specializations! I imagine that initially, the Kaminoans had different clones with different traits engineered specifically to fill certain roles. However, as the war went on, they struggled to keep up with demand and had to start shoving clones into whatever roles were needed (hence Fives and Echo becoming ARCs, despite not being engineered as ARC troopers). 

-Command clones would have better abilities in the executive function parts of the brain that deal with extrapolation, planning ahead, spatial reasoning, etc. They’d also have increased visual pattern recognition (like a pigeon)

-search-and-rescue troops would also have the pigeon pattern recognition abilities. The coast guard literally strapped pigeons to helicopters who would tap a button when they saw orange in the water, because they were better at spotting it than humans. Pigeons can detect cancer in microscope images of cells, because they’re that good at pattern recognition

-Pilots would have hella reflexes, excellent spatial awareness and spatial reasoning skills, much greater ability to process visual information, stronger hearts and blood vessels (to resist greater Gs of force), and they’d also be much shorter, to better fit into a cockpit. Which reminds me of Axe, that poor bastard from Ahsoka’s squadron over Ryloth who was almost eight feet tall. rip poor Axe, how did you even become a pilot, you long bastard.

-medics who can smell certain diseases. If you want to get a little bit out there, make the medics able to purr so they can sooth stressed-out patients. 

-infantry would have even greater endurance than everyone else, as well as greater tolerance for, and ability to, remain constantly on alert.

-ability to fall asleep at will? that would be super dope.

-maybe more efficient sleep, so to an adult clone, 4 hours of sleep is genuinely sufficient.

-concept: clones can sort of turn down their bodily functions- slow their digestion, heart, lungs, the whole nine yards- to last longer in adverse conditions. Sort of a half-hibernation (or quarter hibernation- they’d still be able to talk and think, but they’d feel very lethargic). They wouldn’t be able to function very well, but it would be great for things like enduring intense cold, periods without food, low-oxygen environments, and it would be especially useful if you were wounded and waiting for help, since you could slow your circulation, meaning it would take you a lot longer to bleed out. This state could be triggered by a combination of physical actions such as sitting or lying still, breathing slowly and deeply, and focusing on slowing the heart down (humans can actually slow down their hearts consciously if you practice at it, this is basically that, but turned up to like 1100).

-one thing that never made sense to me was the whole “we’re running out of jango fett’s DNA, all the new clones won’t be as good, and we have to stop ventress from stealing the original DNA” because like, can’t they just, get the EXACT SAME DNA from the clones?? you know, the exact genetic copies? With all the enhancements already done? But now my idea is that the kaminoans have engineered the clones so their DNA straight up can’t be copied. The clone’s own body can obviously replicate it, but if you take a sample and try to extract the DNA, it just self-destructs or something. This is to protect their intellectual property, but also means that they literally have to use a couple of Jango Fett’s actual human cells for every single clone they make (and the fact that they then have to do all the above enhancements to every single embryo helps explain why there’s so many small mutations, such as hair color and height). So they kinda shot themselves in the foot with that one. 

-of course since things like ADHD and autism have a strong genetic component, the kaminoans could theoretically engineer those out of the clones, but actually FUCK THAT so for whatever reason, that’s just not something they are able to do, and neurodivergent clones are absolutely a thing

[tea-and-spoons]

Today’s Tips: Crutches

Hello hello!  I have been a part-time crutches user for the past… three years?  So today I’m going to share some little tips I’ve learned along the way.  I have never used a cane, but I think a lot of this might apply to canes too.

-If you’re trying to decide if you need a mobility aid or not, the answer is yes.  You don’t have to be unable to walk without it to use a mobility aid!  If you think it would help, go for it!  Using my crutches lets me walk farther, with less pain, and less falling, and the freedom is wonderful.  I’m pretty sure that if you’re debating, it’s definitely worth a try.  And if you’re here because crutches are already required for you, that’s good too and I hope you still find what makes them work best for you.

-Decorate!  Personalize!  Bedazzle!  I am a huge advocate for changing the look of your mobility aid to whatever makes you happy.  I scraped all the logos off my crutches, spray painted them blue, and added flower stickers on the cuffs, and it always makes me smile.  Just because they only sell what you need in boring medical colors doesn’t mean you have to keep it that way.  My theory is, I’m going to get stared at either way, I might as well have crutches I like:)

-If you leave it standing up, it WILL fall over.  Seriously, it seems like every time I try to leave my crutches propped up against something, they fall down and make a ton of noise at a very inconvenient time.  If you have to leave them standing up so you can reach them, I wish you luck, and suggest putting them somewhere that minimizes getting bumped into.  Sometimes I lean mine on my legs under the table and that works pretty well.  But most of the time, I lie my crutches down alongside a table or wall, or underneath my chair.  Bonus, this also keeps people from stepping on them so much.

-Forearm crutches vs underarm crutches.  I generally see your regular underarm crutches used for more short term things, like a sprained ankle, but they might also be a better choice if you have limited arm strength.  They also feel more stable if you can’t put any weight on one leg.  I was told that forearm crutches take way more strength, but in my experience, it’s not as bad as I was told, even though I have floppy, spaghetti-noodle Ehlers-Danlos arms (although I do also have the special forearm crutches for people with EDS)  It’s really nice that the forearm crutches are shorter, so they’re easier to store and don’t stab you in the armpit if you’re walking on uneven ground.  In my opinion, they’re just overall easier to maneuver and better for when both legs need support.  Plus, I can let them hang from the cuffs and have my hands free for a moment.  The other thing I noticed with underarm crutches vs forearm crutches is how people treat me.  With regular underarm crutches, I got a lot of “Oh no what happened?!” and “Get well soon!”, none of which apply to me.  With forearm crutches, people seem to get that it’s more of a lifelong disability deal. I was trying to write an unbiased paragraph here, but I guess it’s pretty clear I have a strong preference!  But really, the best option is whatever meets your needs.

-Proper fitting.  If you have access to a physical therapist or other professional who can help you fit your crutches, I would highly recommend taking advantage of that.  Crutches that aren’t adjusted right can wreak havoc on your posture and alignment, and even cause secondary injuries (which is the last thing you need!)  If you don’t have access to a PT, I think these links have some good information:  

https://www.physicaltherapy101.net/forearm-lofstrand-crutches/

https://www.physicaltherapy101.net/walking-assistance/crutches/ 

-Pace yourself.  If your situation allows you to gradually work up to how much time you spend with crutches, you’ll be much less sore!  If not, try to take breaks before you really need them, to prevent the worst of the ouch.

-Carrying things.  This is going to be frustrating, but it also gets easier as you adjust and learn what works for you.  First things first, it’s totally okay to ask for help!  You are not a burden, you are not lazy, no matter what anyone else tells you.  It’s okay to need help.  And for when you are carrying things by yourself, here are some tips:  Pockets!  Very very good.  Backpack or fanny pack or purse is also good.  I’ve seen some people attach a bag to the crutch itself, but in my experience, that makes it hard to control the crutch and you lose your balance a lot.  I’ve also perfected the art of holding something with my pinky and ring finger, while still holding the crutch handgrip with the other side of my hand.  Sliding things along a table instead of carrying is a great one for cooking.  Getting everything you need within reach and then just sitting is also a good strategy to save spoons. 

-Actually getting around!  I think the best thing might be to practice with your crutches on a day you don’t actually need them so you can experiment.  I know that’s not always possible though, and I promise you can also learn as you go too.  For me, doors are the hardest part, so automatic openers are my friends.  My best tricks for doors without automatic openers are:  open door really far and speed through, or use crutch leg or tip to prop door open while you go through.  Although I have gotten my crutch tip stuck under the door like that before so maybe that’s not the best advice…  Again, it’s totally okay to ask for help!  And you’ll get the hang of it with practice.

-Crutches in winter.  Not fun.  If you’re using regular long crutches, they’re going to get stuck in slush or snow on the sidewalk.  I haven’t tried them, but I also know they sell special crutch tips for ice, because regular ones are slippy.  I don’t really have any advice here, so this is more of a caution, and a suggestion to plan ahead!

-Especially if crutches are new for you, you’re going to be all kinds of tired.  The way you walk is now totally different, and you have to re-adjust how you do just about everything, which takes a LOT of mental energy.  It’s totally okay to be frustrated and tired and sad.  It won’t always be this hard, you’ll find adjustments that work for you.  And don’t be afraid to use the resources and accommodations available to you!  They’re there to help you and you deserve support.

I hope you found this helpful, and I would love to see if you decide to decorate your mobility aid too!

Edit:  I just learned a new trick for crutches and doors!  When you’re trying to open the door, make sure you’re standing clear outside of the arc of where the door swings. Otherwise you’ll be trying to inch backwards and drag the door with you, and that’s a great way to fall down.  So just move to the side and let the door swing open. 

[cuntess-carmilla]

On disability and gender

I'm writing this from my perspective as a dyadic TME non-binary lesbian (also mixed but very pale and non-Black, as well as relatively thin). I will group myself with women but like, I'm also not really a woman it's complicated lol. I say this because I can't have first-hand comprehension of all the possible dynamics between gender and disability, and other physically disabled people are very much encouraged to add their own thoughts and perspectives to this post.

I don't feel equipped to speak on how being disabled and intersex impacts gendered experiences because I have too much left to learn, so I'm sorry that I'm not going to go into it. It's not because I don't recognize that struggle, it's because I just don't have the range, so please, if you're an intersex and physically disabled person and you want to expand on this, don't be afraid to do so.

Able-bodieds can reblog but don't speak out of turn.

------------------------------------------------

For a long time I've been trying to articulate my thoughts and pain on how physical disability impacts our gendered experiences and I think I'm finally starting to get to it.

When you're physically disabled you're immediately stripped of a (willing) gender identity as well as desexualized.

Gender is embodied and performed. You can embody it "incorrectly" and perform it "poorly". Everything regarding the embodiment of physically disabled people is seen as incorrect, and the literal meaning of "disabled" is that we can't perform the same way that able-bodied people can, or at least we can't without severely impacting our wellness.

Disabled men are emasculated. Constructs of ideal manhood are in big part built on things such as physical prowess, never expressing vulnerability, being self-sufficient outside of anything domestic, and conquering women sexually and romantically.

Disabled men are seen as weak, they are seen as pathetic for having visible vulnerabilities or (if their disability isn't immediately visible) for exposing their vulnerabilities instead of "sucking it up". By needing aid, accessibility and carers that do more than what a wife would traditionally do for any man, the sense of self-sufficiency men are supposed to perform is unavailable to disabled men. All disabled people are desexualized and seen as repulsive once our sexualities are acknowledged, and even disabled dyadic cishet men can't escape this. Able-bodied women see them as unfit for any sort of serious romantic or sexual partnership. Not to mention too the traditional role of men as providers and how difficult it is for any disabled person to acquire wealth at all, let alone enough to support more than ourselves alone. The rates of poverty for physically disabled people are fucking astronomical, so most disabled men can't even use that to their advantage in romance and sex to make up for all the other ways in which they're at a disadvantage compared to able-bodied men.

Disabled women fail at embodying and performing every single aspect of traditional womanhood too, but in particular; domestic labor, sexual labor, and beauty standards.

All labor is difficult if not downright impossible when you're disabled. Disabled women who need carers as adults are seen as complete failures because, even as children, but especially as adults, we're the ones who're supposed to be the carers of others, not the other way around. People love to pretend that women are coddled more than men, but nothing breaks that illusion more than being a disabled woman. A woman's needs are supposed to be invisible and self-fulfilled, or else we're whiny spoiled bitches, and guess what that means for disabled women. When we can't perform this pristine role we're immediately marked as failures, we're undesirable and nothing but a parasitic drag in the lives of abled people.

Yes, not all disabled women are straight, plenty of us are bi or lesbians, many are also aro/ace, but the point is that the patriarchy doesn't really give a shit what a woman's sexuality is, because no woman is seen as having sexual agency, so even if we're not straight we're expected to exist to satisfy men sexually. I cannot describe how difficult it is to be sexual, even when you're not ace, if you're physically disabled. Speaking from my own experience, trying to maintain a sex life as someone who experiences chronic fatigue and chronic pain is one of the most frustrating and demoralizing aspects of my disability. I want sex, I want to want sex, to be able to fuck my fiancé, but most of the time I simply can't gather the energy to even feel horny. I feel like such a failure of a lover because of it. Even though my fiancé is patient and understanding with me!

Can you imagine what it is like for disabled women who aren't as "lucky" as me, to have a partner who understands that we simply can't do it all the time even if we do want to? I don't want to go into too much detail about this because it's very painful and triggering to many, but I think you can imagine what happens to a lot of disabled women (and disabled people in general) when we're not satisfying a partner sexually and they get too frustrated by it. Being as vulnerable as we are, nobody cares much what happens to us. More so since, again, physically disabled people are seen as sexually repulsive, so if anyone wants sex with us we're supposed to be "thankful" for it, no matter the circumstances.

As for beauty standards, any woman who doesn't fit traditional beauty standards will know just how badly men treat you when they don't find you physically appealing, and well... Let's just say that a cane or a wheelchair aren't seen by society as particularly attractive, no matter how much the woman using them fits traditional beauty standards otherwise. Then there's female amputees, women with deformities, etc. In my case, I'm a literal mutant. If I don't disguise my tells with corsetry, long sleeves, and so, so much more, my body looks "off", I have been told repeatedly that my body looks "off" my whole life, and I'm one of the least visibly disabled ones! Even regarding body hair it's fucking hell. My collagen is so elastic that when new hair grows it stays ingrown unless I manually break my skin with a needle or a pumice stone (no, gentler ways of exfoliation don't work), but shaving isn't ideal either because my skin is, due to my altered collagen too, literally transparent and you can see the roots of my dark hairs under it even if I shave down to accidentally harming my skin with the blade.

Performing femininity at all is just... It's fucking hell. If it's exhausting for able-bodied women, can you imagine what it is like for us? I can barely manage to shower, by the time I'm done with my hair, makeup and outfit, every bit of my very limited energy is depleted and then I still have the rest of the day to go through. And I LIKE being feminine. I like wearing makeup and wearing the outfits I wear and yet I still dread it when I know I'll have to do more than stay in my pajamas at home.

Also, the perceived fragility of disabled women isn't the type of fragility that is seen as desirable in women. It's not delicacy. Wheelchairs, canes and other mobility aids aren't seen as "delicate" or "demure". Neither is kinesio tape, or compression stockings, or any other sort of medical equipment which, on top of it all, tend to not be very "aesthetic". Our fragility isn't the romanticized type, it's the "wow, you're an useless burden who can't serve me the way I expect you to" type.

When it comes to "binary" disabled trans people (for a lack of a better term) the degendering is even more intense than it already is for their cis counterparts (all that I described above applies to them too). There's a dichotomy of the even heavier denial of their actual genders as men and women due to the combination of their transness and disabilities, contrasting with how even if they were to conform to their assigned genders at birth they'd still be seen as failures at it due to everything I've already stated. There's also the sentiment that their identifying outside of their assigned gender at birth is a sort of consolation prize, something they're going for only because they were failing at being proper cis men and cis women, and thus their actual genders are even more invalidated and effectively pathologized in the most medical sense of the word, which is already a problem for all trans people, but for physically disabled trans people this intensifies the problem even more.

When it comes to non-binary disabled people things get so fucking confusing and infuriating. If binary disabled people get denied their manhood and womanhood, best believe that multigender disabled people (bigender, genderfluid, etc) are denied all aspects of their genders even harder. Not even completely agender disabled people are safe from being seen as failures of their gender identities by people who would perfectly respect the identity of an agender but able-bodied person. The fact that the default gendered status of all disabled people is forcefully degendered makes it so agender disabled people aren't seen as having any agency or self-determination in their (lack of or neutral) gender identity, it's seen as a passive inevitability from their embodiment, so it doesn't really "count", while simultaneously being subjected to the general transphobic bullshit any other agender person would be subjected to.

All of these things already affect white, thin and dyadic physically disabled people. When you add race (especially Blackness and/or being dark skinned), fatness and being intersex into the mix, the ways in which we're degendered and misgendered are off the fucking rails.

We can't fucking win.

[sinbadly]

Non Magicians in Magnostadt : an analysis over the possibilities of an analogy.

I love Magi, it's probably my favorite piece of fiction of all times. But most importantly, I love analysing stuff. And for a while, I wondered what are the non Magicians of the Magnostadt kingdom supposed to represent ? And after thinking about it for a while, I think I finally got an answer so ... Strap in !!(Please do be aware that this text will talk in depth about discrimination, if this subject is triggering to you I'd advise you to stop here !)

For obvious reasons, the first thought I had was that the non Magicians were supposed to represent Jews. Magi is heavily based on both Judaism and Islamic ideas and having almost a whole population being put in a specific district can be easily linked to a real event event. But thinking about it, something felt heavily wrong. The people that were discriminated against clearly weren't supposed to be Jewish. No, everything pointed to the magicians being the ones that were Jewish instead. I'm not an expert when it comes to Jewish tradition and beliefs, but I did my research. Non Magicians are often called Goi by Mogamett. Goi is a Jewish term that is used to describe non Jewish people. And when you dug a little deeper, you can also see that Jewish people are supposed to be people closer to their god, like magicians would be since they are directly linked to the world's magic sources. I could also argue that Mogamett's does ressemble cliché representations of Jewish people, especially with the nose. Does that mean that the Jewish were represented as the oppressor and the other people as the oppressed ? I don't know. I wouldn't be able to decide if that's the case at all, especially since in other languages, Goi has been Translated to Kaffir, which is meant to describe the people who aren't Muslims. It's overall very confusing. But still, what I could see is that the people who were oppressed weren't meant to represent Jewish people. Obviously, I quickly took a look at the biggest oppressed groups there are in the world. So I thought about Sexism, Racism and LGBTphobia. Sexism didn't seem to be it at all. Women are shown to have high positions in Magnostadt's society. We see it with Myers who is a highly respected teacher or obviously Yamuraiha that is treated as one of the best Magicians ever. So it couldn't be it. Racism seemed ... Off. One of the points of Aladdin's fear of discrimination is that these people are all of the same when it comes to their appearance. It was the point of the new world that Ugo created, all creatures became the same race to avoid discrimination. And with all of that, we have Sphintus who's at the very least Arabic. As for homophobia I couldn't see a link at all. It's not like they weren't able to have children together, they did have kids. It's not that they were hated for something they love and that they could just hide it, they weren't able to do something and that's all. It couldn't be that either.   But then, it clicked. The main point of this discrimination was because people weren't abled to do something. They were disabled. It wasn't even a metaphor. They literally were disabled. And now, here comes the part with explanations and details to better understand this theory, coming with an introduction to the world disabled, because I do believe that it is interesting to have a clear difference with a disability and a handicap. A handicap means that you are facing a disadvantage due to a problem. For exemple, if you start a race with a 20 pounds chain on your  foot, you will be handicapped compared to others in the race. A disability means something you can't do. Therefore, depending on the context, someone that is handicapped can be or not be disabled. Let's say a part of a human population grows wings. If they keep evolving in our actual society they will be advantaged yes, but no one will be unable to do their normal tasks. However if the world starts to be built around these people with wings, creating places that only them can access by flying for exemple, everyone who doesn't have wings will be considered disabled. Because they're unable to do the same. Now with that exemple, replace wings with magic and you get exactly what Magnostadt's society is. It is exclusively built for people who are born magicians. Normal human beings cannot function in it properly. And what do you do when someone can't function properly ? You start discriminating them. Mogamett truly believed that the non magicians weren't as useful as other humans were, so he built a society for the to be put in a position of weakness. Some people can work on the surface, yes. But it's because they're rich or they have talent like artists or crafters. You can see disabled people working in an every day life, but most often people are surprised. As for the poor people ? Well they're put in their little spaces of life to rot. The people born in the 5th district pretty much never see the outside world and to be fair, disabled people don't either. They're meant to stay at home, because things aren't meant for us outside. From now on, I'm gonna talk about disability using my own experiences. It's probably gonna be a bit raw, but I think parallels will be easier to make. The thing that I thought the most about is the "you should be grateful" part. It's really interesting and is a very manipulative technique to make sure people are under your control. The people in the 5th district are given food and water and don't have to work. Most of them could probably work if they were given the opportunity to with the proper help to make the job accessible. But no, they're trapped in their place with no possibility to actually work for the society. They've been forced into this district because they were mistreated into poverty without the opportunity of getting out of it, and now that they're stuck in this situation, they're meant to be grateful. Because they're provided the food and sleep they need that they didn't have before when it's basic human rights. And the fact is, they've been in such an horrible situation before that they'd rather accept being treated like animals than being mistreated even more. And that's exactly what happens when handicapped people ask for financial help. We might get 1000$ a month if we're lucky, but it's still not enough. And people tell us that we're ungrateful because we want an actual liveable wage. We don't think that giving us absolutely nothing is a good either. We want to be treated as human beings. Yet we should still be oh so grateful because we're getting all of this without work. I could work if the world did a little effort. But it does. And it also comes back to the hymn beings statement. Because that's also a very interesting thing : they're not seen as human beings. Mogamett sees non magicians as animals. Different people as seen as different animals, for exemple Marga was a kitten to the man's eyes. But her being cute didn't mean he respected her. And it's not rare to see disabled people as less valuable. That was insanely obvious during the COVID-19 crisis. People kept talking about disabled people as a necessary sacrifice for other people's well being. Because to them, a human life is important. But a "lower" human life isn't as important as being able to get McDonald's. Non Magicians are more than likely to be killed if they are ill or can no longer provide enough magical ressources to the city. Since they were born into poverty and unable to get out of this place, they will most likely die at a rather young age or if they catch an illness. It's not their choice to die, the government literally kills them if they're not enough. There isn't much an equivalent in our modern society for the government killing people directly, however this method did remind me of some atrocious things that are currently done to disabled people in countries like Canada. When you're disabled, you have to pay for medication. A lot. And if you're poor, you're likely to go in dept very quickly. And for that, the government came with a solution : assisted suicide. You can either choose to die slowly and painfully, or the government can give you the medication to kill yourself. All of that because you can't pay your medication and therefore you're not useful enough to society anymore. Non Magicians in the 5th district aren't just seen as a source of magical income for the rest of society. They're seen as people you can utilise and milk of their energy until their death. And with all of these arguments, I believe that the whole Magnostadt arc's treatment of non Magicians was a direct reference of disabled people.

[eldritch-elrics]

svsss: journey through the mausoleum (plus, zhuzhi-lang is a himbo)

got to chapter 65 last night!

as usually i have a lot to say i guess jkdhgsds i think putting stuff under cuts makes people scroll past these posts more? but also i don’t really want to be too annoying with my Many Reactions so cuts are a good way to go

tldr: loved the mausoleum arc, big fan of tlj, communication is good, and i have a new favorite scene in the book

binghe is extra as FUCK for bringing in all those rhino pythons

so i maintain that tianlang-jun should have been foreshadowed more/is introduced too late in the story, but other than that i think he’s a really fun villain and i’m a fan

for one - he’s the only one who’s able to hurt binghe :0 harm the protagonist...

which creates some Very Good Tension

count number one of zhuzhi-lang being a himbo: trying to sacrifice himself for tlj while being threatened

“is zzl really a himbo” you ask. well, yes. is he dumb? very much so. is he nice? absolutely. is he hot? well, i have no idea. i forget if he’s described as attractive or not. but, i think he can be if he wants. does being a little bit evil negate his himbo-ness? idk! i’m sticking with my assessment

i think i have a bit of a soft spot for evil henchmen

zzl also protects sqq from the corpses <3 good for him

it’s always fun to me when the system is like “wooo yay you fixed the storyline! cut the filler!” because 1. love seeing sqq lay waste to pidw and 2. the implications?? once more i am wondering WHY is the system so interested in making pidw a better story. (and the fact that it’s still calling his adventures in this world a story.) are sqq’s adventures being written down and serialized in the real world? are we as readers supposed to believe that scum villain, as a text, is a direct result of sqq’s “editing” of pidw?

uh, back to the plot

binghe wasted spiritual energy trying to preserve the mushroom/plant body :( come on man...

i really like the whole stretch of plot when binghe’s unconscious. it’s just so tense!! really well-done in my opinion - this is the first time in a while we’ve got a sense that lbh is in danger, and sqq is also running low on energy and stuff, so they’re both in bad places and the stakes are high

PLUS the hurt-comfort of it all. sqq trying not to hurt lbh’s body :(

the whole part in the coffin!! excellent. and the convo with meng mo... sqq calling himself lbh’s shizun finally...

cuddles <3

dying at lbh’s fuckin. boner. and the system’s REACTION it’s so EXCITED i am just. holds my head in my hands. i can’t deal with this novel

the confrontation with qiu haitang and the old palace master was very cool and intense. though i have to say i’m not really a fan of either “angry unreasonable woman” or “bitter disabled person” as tropes/archtypes (especially how sqq was reacting to the palace master’s condition). and poor qiu haitang! i have no idea if there’s any way to set her mind at ease other than revealing the whole transmigration thing. i do hope she’ll turn up again and get a better ending?

so the plague city sqq callout party is once again not directly lbh’s fault! the old palace master is the one to blame!

SO ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS IN THE BIT I READ LAST NIGHT. is. sqq realizing that he could utilize lbh’s plot armor to his advantage. but then deciding that he doesn’t want to take that risk. doesn’t want to use lbh’s body as a prop!!!

character development :D

he’s really starting to see lbh as a person as opposed to a character! and being less selfish/survival-oriented...

man. sqq, almost beaten, lying on the ground holding binghe in his arms........ :(((

so is the implication that lbh injured/took revenge on the old palace master because the palace master was being creepy to him about his mom? it’s a bit vague but that’s my theory. weirdo old man...

speaking of people lbh killed. maybe it will be revealed that gongyi xiao is actually alive too :( i’m still salty about that

SO MUCH DEMON BLOOD. poor sqq

so i don’t think i got how sqq was able to free himself from zzl’s blood manipulation? was it because binghe woke up and subdued it?

binghe waking up was a lil deus-ex-machina-y lol i would have liked to see some sort of trigger for it (even a cheesy one). like i get why he’s ok and no longer hurt (protagonist powers!) but like, gimme a reason for the shift to happen at that precise moment...

but AAAAAA FINALLY THEY ARE TALKING

lbh realizes how much sqq went through to save him :( and he’s so happy he didn’t get abandoned!!!! aaaaaa my poor boy

i like crybaby lbh much more than i like cold/cruel lbh lol

i do agree with sqq’s assessment though - lbh keeps doing the thing where he cries and apologizes but doesn’t actually change. he’s slowly getting better about it but that’s some development i’d like to see

so tlj.... DOESN’T want lbh’s body? i stg his motivations change every 5 minutes. that’s one other thing i don’t really like about him. is the “trying to steal lbh’s body” thing just gonna go nowhere? f...

ALSO SQQ GETTING OUTRAGED ABOUT TLJ CALLING HIMSELF MORE HANDSOME THAN BINGHE

binghe dumbass moments <3 gave him the sword...

..........zhuzhi-lang vore.......

zzl, while healing sqq’s plant arm: don’t worry i don’t want to fuck you unlike LUO BINGHE.

sqq: OKAY??? THANKS

i really hope there exists shipfic of sqq and zzl. like i don’t ship them at all but they just get into so many Situations that i cannot help but think about it. like it would make a funny crack premise

you know what? sqq deserves his own harem. it could consist of lbh, lqg, sqh, zzl.....

SQQ CANNOT CATCH A BREAK. TLJ IS A FAN OF RESENTMENT OF CHUNSHAN

modern au tlj is the dad who is way way way too supportive and thinks sqq would just be a wonderful husband for his son~~

interested in tlj’s intention to unite the human and demon worlds. like on the surface it sounds like a good idea right? peace and harmony and reconciling differences and stuff. but tlj’s plan is certainly not well-thought-out, and i’m sure his intentions also skew towards a sort of “merge them so they’re both easier to rule over” thing - which i don’t think is confirmed or anything, it’s just my suspicion

both tlj and lbh have a sort of entitlement thing going on - “i’m powerful so i can do whatever i like / take for myself something i love (whether that be humans or sqq).” which is then backed up by the power the system allows them as final boss and protagonist respectfully

speaking of lbh taking whatever he wants: stop kissing sqq without asking him aaaaa!!!! we know you love him and it’s sweet but please bro

him going all that way to reunite with sqq though <3

and then zzl comes in and i just.

this scene is simply the best

the slapstick of it!!!! i wanna see it animated so bad holy shit

the scene was good when it was just “sqq hides lbh under the bedcovers and he’s having none of it” but then it just kept escalating...

sqq and zzl’s convo is so suggestive too...

zzl himbo moments again?

AND THEN TLJ WALKS IN

“no need to explain, i understand everything” OK BRO.

LIU QINGGE IS HERE <3

tlj fanboying over him a little lmao

tlj, upon realizing that lbh had been in the bed with zzl and sqq: oh, you guys were having a threesome?

i cannot deal with this. i’m gonna do some sketches from this scene it’s so funny