#but I do feel bad

[very-normal-person]

i convinced my girlfriend and my sister to watch supernatural and BOY they don't know what they're in for

[queenofallornothing]

Unfollowing someone you've been long-term mutuals because they keep blogging something you hate feels like a mafia member having to put a hit out on family.

Like thank you for your long term service and loyalty, enjoy your concrete shoes

[twentysidednerd]

dnd night 🥰

i almost killed a fucking child 🥰🥰🤪✨

and then brought the child, who is one of the children of the fucking villains of the campaign, with me to help her because i don’t wanna leave the kids to die

in my defense, the kids did not seem onboard with what the party and i were trying to stop from happening when i first heard them talking

it’s been a wild night so far. i almost cried 🥰🥰 but i’m having fun

[bacon-neko]

Nano 2023 Day 3

in which the boy finally gets a name drop

When the boy’s expression did nothing to soften, the war god huffed and scrubbed a hand over his face.

“Look,” he said. “We got off on the wrong foot.” He stood and waved his arms in a generous if sloppy bow. “My name is Ares, son of Zeus. You got a name?”

An inhale.

That’s all it took for the answer to flash across his mind.

“Keraunos,” he replied, the name slotting effortlessly into place alongside every other truth about himself. It comforted him—having a word for what he was, something to define his edges, to mark him out against the world—even made him forget pain, the panic, the body on the ground.

“Weird name,” said Ares, pulling him from his thoughts.

Offended, Keraunos scowled. “No, it’s not.”

“Sure it is, Thunderbolt,” Ares replied. “I mean, it’d be like if I was named Sharp Stick.”

“Well, it’s my name,” he insisted. “And I like it.”

Ares shrugged. “Suit yourself. Still. I thought you’d be named something… Different, I guess.”

He cocked his head. “Why?”

The war god huffed, frustration leaking out of his voice and into his hands. “I dunno, you’re just—” He cut off and turned.

Keraunos watched Ares pace—his twitching hands, his bared teeth and half attempted sneer, and his wide steps, careful to mind the limbs of the sprawled, headless Hermes. Keraunos watched and then settled back against the rock, before grabbing a random pine cone and rolling it absently in his hands.

“I’m just…?” he prompted.

Ares kicked at the ground. “Nothing. Forget it. Besides, we gotta get you outta here.”

“Why?” asked the boy as Ares stepped close and held out his hand.

“Cuz I don’t wanna be around when Athena catches on,” he said, shaking his hand when Keraunos stared at it absently and then finally pulling him up with a sigh. The boy winced and coughed, stumbling a little while Ares led him away, back to the horses.

[h-f-k]

I genuinely feel bad for checo

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[catmask]

does anyone have like an anti aesthetic. like something you look at and can recognize as a complete fashion/interior design/artistic movement and understand it but it makes you shudder seeing it. i am not talking like “its morally bad” “its poorly structured” like just sheerly devoid of joy for you actually invites a repulse response.

[whimsyvixen]

Ask me what type of romantic dreams I have at night.

The man in my dreams:

(He wasn't happy I escaped from my gilded cage)

[polarsirens]

rage

[floccinaucinihilipilificationa]

[aerequets]

on the topic of swearing, it would be so funny if yor has the vocabulary of a sailor and makes the conscious decision not to use it

like loid is sitting with his head in his hands after anya has somehow magically procured a bad word in her vocabulary and is like "i have no idea what to do. how is this happening. what if this is the start of a downwards spiral and she becomes a swear-slinging second grader and they expel her from eden" and yor giggles like "im sure once she learns the words the novelty will wear off, that's what it was like for me" and he's like "?? what it was like for you?" fully imagining that the worst word yor knows is like, crap or damn or something because she's so gentle and softspoken

and yor goes on like "yeah! like for example when i was a kid and learned *BEEEEEEP* or *BEEP BEEP* or *BEEEEEEEEEP BEEEP BEEP* i stopped using them after a while!" and she goes on and gives some more of the most filthy, gritty examples in existence

and loid is sitting there - mind you this man was in the Army so he is no stranger to swearing, but he is sitting there gobsmacked and face REDDENED from the absolute verbal weaponry yor is expelling with a smile on her face

[rixareth]

As requested, I have examined my fondness for terrible characters, and I have concluded that I like them because they're terrible and I'm not sorry.

[artkaninchenbau]

People keep on asking for more Baby Robin and Papadile so here is more Baby Robin and Papadile. Now never ask anything from me ever again

[titanofthedepths]

Yes you’re not fatphobic but are you capable of talking about fat people in a positive manner without saying somft/round/rotund/squishy/tumby/chumby/any other variation of the sort. Are you capable of talking about us in a positive manner without it being about beauty or attractiveness. Are you able to talk about fat people in general without being dehumanizing or infantilizing. Can you treat fat people with respect.

[bigfatbreak]

Birds of a Feather previous / next

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.