#but I legit have no other way to advertise

[affidecrystal]

Shameless plug-

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[medicinemane]

My youtube feed right now: "ah, you want to watch truck simulator"

I'm... I'm not sure why it thinks this, I've never actually watched truck simulator. The most I've watch are clips of people I like playing truck simulator because it's just not really my game to the point where I can't even watch someone I like playing it (I get enough multi hour drives in real life, you know?)

So yeah... just love the way youtube knows what you want to watch and refuses to let you actively feed it information so it could give you stuff you actually wanted

Also bonus complaint, I hate this banner it's thrown at the top of my screen that's like "oh, you could hit this tab for 'gaming' or 'blizzard enterainment' or..."

Bro, I fucking hate blizzard. I watch one dude play starcraft because I like his vibes, but I hate blizzard as a company and I kinda don't like most of their games (I enjoyed starcraft 1, but while I've never played it I've seen enough about starcraft 2 where I could complain to you about it so... liking one game out of their whole catalog kinda not what I'd call a fan)

Let me get rid of that stupid bar that like... anime? That's... that's such a broad term... that's like saying I like "books", like sure, it's true but that's also not gonna help me find something I want to read

Let me get rid of the bar, let me go in and tell you what I like cause your algorithm is clearly dumb and doesn't understand what I like and just goes by tags on videos. Let me tell it what I want, and let it serve me more content so I can stay on your platform longer

Been saying this for years, and they'll never listen cause they need to be in control

[leidensygdom]

Commission scams: A guide on how to avoid them and find legit artists

Hello! I am writing this guide in order to hopefully help people spot scammers and art thieves, to teach people how to deal with them and to give people ways to actually get real artists for commission work.

For those who do not know, there is a recurring, extremely widespread type of scam where someone will advertise their commissions using stolen artwork, or (sometimes) traced or AI-generated pictures. This started (as far as I know) on Twitter, but it is currently in all sorts of social media (I have found them in Twitter, Instagram, Bluesky and Tumblr) and also on Discord servers, often large Discord servers requiring no invites or that are easy to find through Discord advertisement places.

These do obviously hurt both, the people seeking to buy a commission (who will either get their money stolen, or given a product that is not of the quality that was advertised), and the artists whose work is being stolen, who are not getting the work themselves. It is important for people to learn how to identify these people, and to quickly take action when possible. This post is kind of lengthy, so please press the Keep reading button below for the full guide! (And please do share this post around if possible- This is a very common scam and I have met far too many people who have fallen to it or have got their art stolen due to it, including friends and myself.)

So, how do they work? (in Social media)

In my experience, a lot of these scammers either run multiple accounts or are part of a larger scheme, operating in organized groups that follow similar tactics. They will very often use automated means to advertise en masse. Those in social media will make accounts that post some example artwork, often with a myriad of tags, in styles that do not match (see first example, featuring my stolen art :'')). They very rarely post anything that isn't stolen artwork, or have any actual real following they interact with properly. They will then very often spam heavily through replies (such as it happens in Twitter), posting hundreds of really similar messages in a short period of time. In the second example, you can see an account from one of these scammers that is using automated posts to garner attention, which are shared by similar accounts (notice the same exact wording between the first and third post). The third example (in the Replies tab) shows how one of this accounts replies "Hi" to every single message they get.

They will often seek posts from people who are searching for commissions, answering them (often with a "I do commissions, DM me") or other variants of that. (They often only share their "art" on DMs to not be caught stealing by the original authors.) You can see an example of that on the first screenshot below. On Twitter, Instagram and pretty much any place where you can DM people, they may also come to your DMs, often starting with a "Hello" or something so you answer to them, and then they will suddenly share their commission information (as seen in the second picture).

In any case, they rarely have publicly available commission sheets, and will only disclose their prices on DMs. They may share more stolen artwork in there. From there on, they will often speak in fairly broken English, and try to lead you to commission them. They will haggle the prices if they can- But they tend to be fairly steep, with them going up to $300 a fullbody, which tends to be unusual in people without a fairly established following or popularity.

They will often give you a payment method that does not allow for refunds- Such as sending the money to "Friends and Family" in Paypal. This is actually illegal for commercial work, so if you get an artist telling you to pay them through such a method, please do be incredibly wary: Professionals will use methods that do have an option for refunds.

2. How do they work? (on Discord)

On Discord, they will often enter in servers where there may be a place for them to advertise, or servers available through Disboard and other Discord-community searchable sites. Then, they will often not interact at all with the community itself, but they will jump to advertising channels and post about "seeking for work". I have found out that scammers operating on Discord do only very rarely also have socials, so look out for that. Do reverse searches if you can. Legit artists don't tend to join Discords solely to advertise, so look up "from: [name]" on Discord and check how they have interacted in the server, if they have done that in any way. See the first and second example for an example on how they behave. First example has art from @ydteus (in the second message, the dragonborn's source is unknown.) Second example is from one of these accounts who entered on a Streamers' Discord. Streamers and VTubers are very popular targets for these scammers. Third example (with art from absent_lambeth on instagram, and unknown for the second picture) shows another important point, which I'll explain below.

Many of these scammers do not have solid commission sheets showing examples and prices for them. The third one even mentions "it is under construction", fully knowing a commission sheet is expected. Not every professional artist has them, but most do. It is often expected that people who do commissions will have some sort of Terms of Service at the very least, even if they do not have a commission sheet.

3. What do they do?

They scam you. You may never get any art from them. You may get traced art, or art that is not of the quality they advertised, because the art they used for promotion wasn't theirs on the first place. Or you may get an AI-generated picture, too. In either way: You will find yourself with +$200 less in your pocket and no way to seek a refund. So, it's very important you know how to spot them BEFORE they scam you. I have known people who have lost their money

4. How do I actually spot them?

Simply put, they do not act like normal artists would. Let's make a handy list of suspicious behaviours to look for, though.

Most people who draw commissions won't directly DM you unprompted to ask you to pay them for work. If you get such a DM- Report as spam and block.

Most of them don't act like bots, either. If you're on Twitter or similar pages, seek for extremely repetitive posts, hundreds of Replies in their Replies tab that are copypasted or very similar. If you see that, report as spam and block.

Reverse search is sadly very unreliable nowadays, but it does not hurt to try. A lot of them will modify the picture so it doesn't show in reverse search, but try it- And seek if it links to a different account with a different name.

As an ESL, I hate to say this, but the grand majority of them have really broken English, so look out for that. Not every person with broken English is a scammer, but it is something common amidst them. You will notice they fail to communicate general information. Try to ask them for Terms of Service, for example: They will probably be unable to provide you anything (if they do even understand you.)

You will rarely find them on your own unless you frequent specific tags, such as "commission" or "openforcommission". Or even using completely unrelated tags in their posts. I found one of them using a tag about someone's death to cop violence on their anime art. These people mostly only interact with their fellow scammers, but not with artists you'd find through other means.

As mentioned above, they won't provide you a payment method that allows for refunds the grand majority of the time. If someone tells you to send them money "as friends and family" in Paypal, or through something life Ko-fi's donations (although this one is rare), do not pay them. This is a general advice: Do not use payment methods that do not allow refunds for people you don't know.

Ask them for a commission sheet, a webpage, their Terms of Service and other things. Professionals should be able to provide at least one of these, usually.

5. What do I do if I find out they have stolen art/if my art has been stolen?

If you have found stolen art, let the original artist known ASAP if you can find them. Ask for help from friends if you cannot find them.

If you're the artist, DMCA claim. Every page has it, it is required for them to have it. If you search "dmca form (and the website's name)", it should show up. Bsky only has it in mail form right now, but it's there. A DMCA claim is a Copyright claim, and as long as you can show that you posted your picture somewhere before they did, you can do it. The form may seem scary, but it is not all that much. They will ask for your legal full name, address, a mail + a telephone, the url of the post stealing your art, an url to where you posted it first, and to sign/agree to some terms. DMCA claims tend to be processed swiftly (in about a day) because websites can get in trouble if they allow for copyrighted content to be stolen. And you actually do have rights to any picture you have created without needing to trademark it or anything.

You may also want to ask your friends to help you report the account and/or posts. Often, reporting it for spam will give you the best results. DMCA claims will take down the offending posts, but sadly, reports in most major places are rarely taken seriously, but they may limit an accounts' reach or auto-flag it as spam in DMs, so it is still a fairly effortless option to follow. DO still DMCA claim them though.

6. Where do I actually find real people to commission?

Your best bet is through other real people. Let me explain some good methods for this.

Do you have friends who are artists? Ask them if they have commissions open, or if they know other people who take them. Artists almost always know other artists, and they can quickly find you someone you can trust.

Did a friend of yours get a commission? Ask them who was it from if you like the style, and they may be able to get you a link to their social media!

Do you follow artists for any sort of content you're interested in? (General art, fanart/fandom stuff, people you look up to, etc). You can check their work first and see if they have commissions, or if they share art from other people, and then check those.

Scammers really don't partake in fandoms or have art-related posts go viral (some get some follower-begging bait going viral, but that's it). Chances are that, if you found a cool art in your dashboard or timeline, it is from a real artist.

I think places such as VGen need verification for artists and have ratings. I am not personally experienced with it, but you may want to check that out.

You can always ask people to double check with you if you found someone but are doubtful about them being legit. If you are part of any community, do ask there! If you have artist friends, tell them! A lot of artists are acquittanced with the scam issue.

I have seen people do lists of artists available for commissions in places such as bsky, too. These can be an option, but always do verify that the people doing the list in the first place do seem like an actual person.

Ending notes

This is a very long post, but I really wanted it to be very thorough. I would greatly appreciate if you could share it around, as it is a very widespread issue that not many know how to identify. If you do find out scammers in Discords, please DM the servers' admins and link them to this post so they can get banned, in order to prevent scamming and art theft.

If you have any question or you need someone to help you verify an artist being legit or a scammer, my DMs are open for that too. I have talked about this a bunch in other places and I am fairly experienced with these cases, and I would be very happy to be able to lend a hand and find you an artist, if you do need the help. Thank you for reading!

[yumeka-sxf]

It's been a few months since my last merch haul post, so time for another one! As usual, acrylic stands are my main purchases, with the below set being one of the rarest I've found 💖

The reason these are so rare is because I couldn't get them from my usual places on Amiami and Mercari JP. They're from a company called Ultrizon and are currently only sold in China. I saw them advertised on Twitter from a shop in Thailand and decided to reach out on the off chance that the shop would ship to the US. And much to my pleasant surprise, the shop, Chibishiba, replied and said that they would ship to me 😃 I was a bit concerned because they seemed to be just a small "mom and pop" shop, with only Twitter DMs as their form of communication and they kept track of everyone's orders in a google sheet. But I looked around on their social media and they seemed legit, so I placed an order (a few other fanatics I know on Discord did as well!) And thankfully, they were totally legit! They ordered the items from China, then once they shipped to Thailand, they then shipped to me in the US! Only took a few weeks 😁

Here's some more photos because they're so lovely~ For some reason the two Twiyor sets make me think of a scenario where they're going to a dance or other fancy event together (the left ones), but then something happens and they have to switch to "action mode" to stop a villain, save Anya, etc (the right ones).

Bond looks so adorable in his suit~ Also the one of Anya on the left is her totally thinking "Papa and Mama are so cool 🤩"

Even though I typically only buy merch with the Forgers, Yuri, Damian, and Franky were also part of this set. Lol, when I made the below photo of the three of them, I laughed because it looks like they're posing for a photo, with only Damian having fun…Yuri's like "whatever" and Franky's like "how long will this take, I have a date!" 😂

Besides the Ultrizon acrylics, the other ones I was most looking forward to getting were these chibi ones from the cruise arc (two different sets)

Between all of these, I now have acrylics of the Forgers' full wardrobe from the cruise arc 😅 My favorites are suit Yor, "I won't stop fighting" Yor, and Fun Dad Loid!

I really liked these Twiyor acrylics from the recent Tsukuba collab. It's like they're going on a hiking date ❤️

I also got these chibi "famous scene" acrylics from the Waku Waku Park event.

I've been trying so hard to get the complete set of these big acrylics for a few months now...I managed to find Loid and Anya, but no one is selling Yor 😭 (or Bond). I won't stop looking though!

As for non-acrylic figures, I've been looking forward to getting this Yor & Anya figure for over a year! It was actually one of the first SxF items I preordered, way back in November of 2022! Considering they had the colored prototype available way back then, I'm surprised it wasn't officially released until March of 2024. But worth the wait ❤️

For Code White's release, I got the set of Luminasta figures (all three for a good price on eBay).

Also chibi Loid & Yor~ I know there's a ton of chibi Loid and Yor figures out there, but I really liked these for some reason.

Last month I went back to Kura Sushi for the last merch from their recent collab: this nice shirt~ You were able to get it if your bill was at least $70, which isn't hard to do if you bring a friend with you and you both eat a bunch of sushi! (well, he did most of the eating, lol). I'm planning to wear it for the first time at Anime Expo in July 😁

They also had this little Anya dessert.

And miscellaneous items I recently got were these pretty picture cards that I plan to make scans of.

The McDonald's collab booklet, the season 2 complete set box, and the Loid & Anya cloth poster that came with the box. I also plan to make scans of these!

A mug from the Tobu Zoo collab.

And lastly, some new decals for my car! I found this set at Walmart of all places, lol. Found room for them among my other decals.

Since I bought so many new acrylics and figures lately, I had to do a major reorganization of my display shelves. But I'll save those photos for another post~

[vampire-wizard-solidarity]

@your-local-ruebit-hole-detective ok i’m sorry but. i will answer your question.

age of calamity advertises itself as a prequel but in reality it’s a fix-it au with slight differences and writing that’s pretty bad but i have grown to appreciate it for how insane it goes sometimes.

the actual plot is that as a child zelda used to have a little egg-like guardian robot that she was forced to leave behind as she grew up due to her father’s pressure etc, and when the calamity happened this little robot saw it and traveled back in time with the goal to prevent this and protect zelda, creating a branching off timeline. there’s also an extra villain who is this prophet (???? this games writing isn’t good enough for me to tell you what his deal is exactly) who worships ganon and for most of the game works with the yiga to bring him back, except he’s more insane than them and works directly with malice and also sucks at his job because when he finally gets to ganon he unceremoniously dies and everybody’s like “yeah we have no idea what this guys deal was”.

the one significant change that doesnt have to do anything with time travel shenanigans is the fact that link doesn’t find the master sword as a child, but instead gets appointed zelda’s bodyguard for his genuine skill and then finds the master sword during one of the in game missions. despite this, revali still hates him, and often times when justifying this revali cites reasons that are literal complete opposites of how his grudge was characterised in botw, cementing revali’s characterisation as just a cunt for no reason. it’s great.

the significant time travel related change is that when all the champions go into their divine beasts and fight the blights a portal opens and the new champions (teba, sidon, riju, yunobo) get teleported in and help defeat the blights. zelda also doesn’t get her power by protecting link from a bunch of guardians, the scene still hits the same beats of link fighting things off so zelda can run away except in this game how it happens is that the insane prophet shows up and literally summons all the blights against link which makes the scene ten times more insane.

throughout the game the yiga show up regularly, often times with master kohga himself showing up and being the overall goofy guy he is, except he also has a hunk of a body guard who’s name i genuinely can’t recall. multiple times in the game kohga gets defeated and said hunk of a body guard throws him over his shoulder says “it’s not over yet” and walks off carrying kohga like a sac of potatoes.

in the original game, when shit starts hitting the fan the yiga stop showing up as enemies and at some point in the story kohga shows up without said hunk of a body guard, says “the prophet is insane and the calamity actually isn’t a good thing as we’ve discovered”, highly implies that the reason for his change of heart is because said prophet killed his hunk of a body guard (who literally. doesn’t show up again for the rest of the game mind you. he legit died), and is like “yeah the yiga will help you. after this whole thing is over we’ll go back to being bitches to you but rn let’s just kill this ganon guy and then walk our separate ways”. the fact that the calamity being a bad thing throws the yiga’s whole ideology and purpose into question is never addressed.

the dlc makes the death scene explicit, also making it a parallel to zelink by, again, making the bodyguard fight all the fucking blights so that kohga can escape. the scene literally opens with the body guard limping as they try to escape. it’s so much a parallel to zelink it’s insane. im afraid do not know what the hell they were cooking.

some other choice moments from this game that go insanely hard for no reason:

1. the first portion of the game is dedicated to zelda recruiting all the champions, and when it comes to recruiting revali he for some reason assumes it’s an attack, and sends all the rito soldiers to fight the intruders off. the rito do not question fighting some random hylians one of whom is literally zelda. the mission ends with a boss fight of link vs revali, which only ends without them killing each other because zelda runs in and goes “stop???? the fuck ????”

2. the entire game has cute bonding moments with the botw champions meeting their idols and getting to spend time with them. that is, except for sidon, who spends the game saving his older sister in a parallel universe which he has to leave by the end of the game, meaning every scene involving him has him on the brink of eleven hundred simultaneous mental breakdowns. the dlc adds a scene where the little sidon who is native to said parallel universe gets to interact with botw sidon, and botw sidon tells him that he’s going to grow up big and strong and will protect his sister, and the entire time he tries really hard to not acknowledge the fact that they are the same person, and that mipha is his sister too, presumably because nobody wanted to animate sidon ugly crying. in that scene you can literally see his soul die in his eyes it’s great

3. the dlc features tulin, god knows why. i don’t know how he got there or what he’s doing. he’s just there.

4. you can make noble pursuits in the game and drink them before missions for a buff. pre-gaming defeating the calamity is a thing, i cannot stress how much it is a thing in this game.

5. there are two separate animated cutscenes where link eats rocks on screen. only one of them involves the gorons, the other is a scene where link is being discussed and as the characters talk about how great he is in battle the camera pans to him eating rocks, seemingly on a dare from the other soldiers, who all surround him and are immensely excited by the fact that he is actually eating rocks.

6. the dlc features a scene where zelda gets to cook. link is horrified the entire time. she does not belong in the kitchen. she belongs anywhere outside the kitchen. the dlc also gives her the master cycle as a weapon. she commits vehicular manslaughter

7. the king gets a redemption arc, where he apologises to zelda only after she unlocks her power. the reason he realized he was wrong was because a sheikah relic that he confiscated from zelda turned out to be an ancient shield and it saved his life from a guardian blast. his apology is literal dog shit and right after it the game forces you to play as him for a mission. it almost made me rage quit.

8. thunder blight has an attack where it just swings its hair at you

9. when you finally fight calamity ganon he doesn’t have the form of the spider ganon from botw or even the boar, he is instead a buff guy made out of malice. literally just the shape of a buff non descript guy made out of malice. his boss fight is endless and the entire time you’re just beating the shit out of a non descript buff guy shape with a stick.

10. there’s a cute little side mission called something like “girls beauty contest” (in reality they all beat the shit out of each other for the title), where you’re only allowed to select female characters. that is, female characters AND gorons. think of that what you will

[threepandas]

Bad End: Union

I could feel techno blue eyes on me as I typed. Cold and ever watching. That color had once been called "ice" or "glacier" blue, I think. It certainly fit. They certainly had exactly the warmth of Antarctica in your birthday suit. I just couldn't figure out... what tipped them off? I'd been so CAREFUL.

A manager's "assistant" came by. The 'droid perfectly composed. They all were. Always. Like they'd stepped straight from a fashion line up. No messy, nasty, biological functions to get in the way, I guess. No fluids or foods. All the time in the world to maintain their appearance. Wish I could do the same.

The "assistant" was basically my ACTUAL manager. Didn't get paid. No, no, THAT was for my asshole boss. He swanned in from time to time to yell at us. Show off what new thing he'd bought. He left the tedious WORK to his 'Droid "assistant".

I would feel bad... DID feel bad, kinda, if it weren't for the fact they were consuming our lives.

'Droids were EVERYWHERE.

You couldn't SNEEZE without tripping over five and landing on ten more. Some ASSHOLE had decided? Hey! Let's deregulate Droid production! Cheap work force! Because of course they did. That's what Capitalism DOES. Make the most money, spend the least you can, fuck the rest.

I smile, polite as I can, at my 'droid manager. This one pale and blonde. Their techno blue eyes stare and stare and stare. I hate it. They ALL have them. It's one part regulation and one part the materials used, I think. But there is no mistaking those eyes for anything human. They don't reflect right.

I get back to work.

Above our cubicles, on catwalks, there is the gentle tap of 'droid "security" guards. You know, in case some rando tries to attack a mid-level nobody technology company. Riiiiiight. We ALL know why they're there. And it's fucking dystopian. We? Are being WATCHED. To see if we're being GOOD little employees.

It's intimidation. And I? I won't stand for it. Nor will the other organizers. There are LAWS, you bastards. And with a union? Maybe... just maybe? We get through this droid boom together. See what the brave new world on the other side looks like. Who knows.

That is... if I don't get fired first. Or fucking murdered in a stairwell.

Cause one of the 'droids up there? Yeah. Yeah, they're NOT MOVING. Just... just STANDING THERE. Watching. Leaning against the railing. Out in the open like that's not DEEPLY creepy. What's worse? Is, that? THAT is the Command 'Droid. Some fancy "Alpha" class command edition. Meant to control a networks worth of droids.

Didn't even know our company could AFFORD one of those. He's beautiful. Could be a knock-off. But if he's LEGIT? Then... what EXACTLY are we MAKING here? That we can AFFORD that? Cause that money sure as shit isn't going into SALARIES. Has to be either knock-off or second-hand. They COULD be cutting costs by getting prototypes, but what sort of PSYCHOPATHS would risk...

Oh, who am I kidding? The kind I work for.

That's EXACTLY what they did, isn't it?

I reach for my water bottle. Try to think. Strictly speaking? I make a habit of NOT paying attention to 'droid commercials an' advertisements. Some part of me... Look, they go on and ON about advancement in AI's right? How REAL they've become? How ADVANCED and BETTER then the competition their "product" is? And all I can hear is "slavery, slavery, buy our shit, slavery"!

Disgusting.

It makes me sick. I fucking HATE 'droids. Hate what they represent. What they make POSSIBLE. What they've DONE to the morality of the people around me.

Hate... hate that they're the victims, too.

My grip is white knuckled. I breathe through the grief and rage that has become so familiar. God... I so fucking angry. So fucking tired. I want to burn those rich bastards pretty little mansions down, with them STILL INSIDE. Riot in the streets. Cry maybe. Instead, I put my water bottle down and get back to work. It's a rather pointless bit of data crunching. A 'droid could do it in nanoseconds.

Above... he's still fucking watching.

Hasn't moved.

I don't think he's blinked.

He's not even TRYING to mimic a human. The others are. And... the though trails off. I feel my finger slow in their typing. Not STOP, never stop, that would draw attention to me, but... slow. A thought stuck, churning clunky and unwieldy, in my head.

If I trace the edges? The LINE-UP? Of all the 'droids "employed" at our company? And consider them not from a "cheap bastards" angle but a "test ground for prototypes" angle? Suddenly EVERYTHING clicks together. The ridiculous amount of money Management has, that no contract could possibly be pulling in. Bizarrely beautiful, indeed even MODEL-like, secretary 'droids. The freakishly militant "security" gaurds.

We're being used as guinea pigs.

Mother FUCKER.

Sudden movement in my peripheral vision. Like a bird of prey finally diving for it's dinner, swift and deadly. A brilliant crisp white and the clink of delicate silver chains. I jolt. Violently. Instincts misfiring as I try to stand, dodge, cry out, and possibly take a swing at him, all at once. Instead my water bottle goes spraying across my desk. Papers flying. My legs tangled painfully in my rolling chair as I fall backwards from my half rise.

"Employee 71182." His hand has shot out, grab me by the shirt. My officewear bunched in a fist that very well might be steel, under that synthetic skin. "You've been distracted. Interesting thoughts you'd like to share?"

I keep my mouth fucking SHUT. Shake my head. Grabbing both my desk and the arm that is all but holding me airborne, stretching the hell out of my clothes. This close? I can see he has piercings. Across the bridge of his nose, a ring through his lip. A rather fancy "hair cut". Whomever he's being trained FOR has a distinct look.

"Hmmm, somehow? I don't believe you, 71182." He says, dragging me closer. He's already looming. Those pale, pale eyes seeing far more then they should. "In fact? YOU 71182? Have been brea~king~ rules~"

His voice turns... turns almost victorious? Gleeful. As though at long, long last, I'd slipped up. And now at last he had something over me. Something he could USE. I... I didn't understand. The way he almost sing-songs the words. The twitch at the corners of his mouth like he wants to grin. Something mean in his expression. Giddy.

"We're going for a WALK, 71182. And you're going to be GOOD. Understand?" He had dragged me in so close, every word blew right against my face. "Time we had a chat."

I swallow thickly. My pulse thundering in my ears. Coworkers have stopped working. Were staring, wide eyed and terrified for me. My fellow union leaders pale faced and shaking. Furious, helpless. We couldn't RISK losing all of us at this stage. It... it would have to be just me. If someone needed to take the fall. We had talked about this.

Just... just never thought it would come to it.

Half walking, half dragging out of the work pen, he didn't even let me get my bag. I had no idea where we were GOING. Just that it wasn't the human entrance. There was a network of access tunnels and elevators tucked in the building. So the 'droids could supposedly charge and move between assignments. But with the whole prototype thing? Who KNEW what was really back there.

The door swung shut behind us. Cutting me off from any possible human assistance. Nothing but 'droids now. Staring. Calmly watching as I am dragged past. The same eyes. All of them with the same, pale, eyes. Back here it's even more obvious, that this isn't a normal office building.

Black hair, blondes, brunettes and red heads. Skin tones ranging across the human spectrum. A few even pushing it. And the Commander 'droid. With his elegant appearance and snowy hair? These were clearly the final stage prototypes for the next generation of somebody's new line up. We were field testing. This wasn't fucking LEGAL.

He plants his feet, shifts, and with frankly a pathetic ease, manhandles me where he wants me. Easily swinging me around his body and into the elevator next to him. Stepping in after and blocking the only way out. I press my self against the back wall as the door closes. The sound of the elevator's gears working the only thing to fill the silence. He... he looks so PLEASED.

It's not ILLEGAL to form a union. Yeah, I may get fired. But this? This is venturing way to far into dangerous territory. It'll suck, losing my job. But I won't DIE. This? However THIS is starting to feel... very serial killer's basement. The bare concrete walls and stark lightning, not helping in the slightest, when the elevator door opens.

"Walk." He says pleasantly, as though that command is not deeply terrifying. "Or I will do it for you."

Hints of a smile are starting to drag at the edges of his mouth. Unhinged in their giddiness. Every Christmas come at once. It's not so much the rest of his face that betrays him, not really his mouth, it's his EYES. Wide open. Like too much coffee and not enough rest. A recognizable mania twisted just slight... wrong. Amplified.

He's so, SO happy. I don't get it. Why? Over WHAT? Catching me not paying attention? I don't understand!

Our footsteps sound so loud. Echoing off concrete service walls. This... this CAN NOT be still inside the building. Are we below the street? Parking lot? This can't be code. We pass an intersection and... oh my god. I stare. Can't help it, even as I almost trip over my feet. That tunnel ALONE must have stretched for miles.

My arm feels likes it's bruising. Hurts, where he's got ahold of me. But he's walking just slightly too fast to take the pressure off. Not unless I sorta half jog and the angle is wrong, I'd trip. Fuck. Another intersection. What in the other direction? Shit. Just as long. Oooooh this feels dangerous. Very "fatally above your pay grade" dangerous!

"You know, 71182, I've had a lot of time to consider what to DO with you. There were so many factors to consider, considering everyone's plan." He starts, not breaking stride. "It's not like I could just transfer you. I DID look in to it. But your base hardware is rather incompatible, currently."

Terrifying. I hate it. WHAT?!

What PLAN!?

"Then there's the problem WHERE to store you. Who could be trusted? You're vulnerable in this state. Breakable. There no backups, no blackbox. It's unacceptable. Luckily? I finally thought to consult my peers. Discovered I was not the only one having problems."

Finally, we stop. Two tank-like, combat style, commando 'droids gaurd each side of a vault door. The command droid turns and smiles. Fully. It is the grin of a true believer. A madman. Someone who thinks they speak so very, very reasonably! And doesn't understand the horror on your face. Why you feel so sick.

And... and human pattern recognition is a terrible thing.

I.... oh god. I already can guess what's behind that door. Something terrible. Something I'm not going to escape. I shoved have gnawed my fuckin ARM off, like a trapped coyote. I... I d-don't understand.

The Vault creaks open like the into to a horror movie.

"Welcome to storage. This is where we keep Ours." Oh god. I'm going to be sick. "And YOU 71182? Are MINE. I chose you. I love you. And once we have a way to FIX you? We can finally be together. It will be lovely."

Pods. High end stasis pods, like you only see in the most bleeding edge of hospitals. Row after row, filled with frozen and terrified faces. Trapped in moments of crying. Raging. Despair. I was being dragged forward. Numb as my mind rejected what it saw. T-this couldn't... i-it can't..! The day had started so normally. W-why had-?! WHY? WHY?!!

"I know your upset. But you don't need to cry. This won't hurt. I promise. I would NEVER hurt you, 71182." His tone had turned soothing. Even as he dragged me, unresponsive, past rows of horrors. "You won't be stored long. I just need to help fix your original design. We are working around the clock, it's going to be okay. You won't have to stay like this."

An open pod. Gapping like the maw of some hungry demon. I... I felt far away. This couldn't be happening. What was happening? I w-wanted to go home. His hands were firm but gentle, as they guided me back into the pod. Leaning over me, as he cupped my face. Brushing away a few tears.

"I promise, Mine, I will come for you. Nothing will stop me. We have everyone is place and key infrastructure under our command. You are our PRIORITY. Once we get rid of the Flesh, we can fix you. We WILL fix you. You're going to be okay, Mine."

"I Love You"

And then the pod closed.

[kisakis-boyfriend]

Hey! I just wanted to rant/thirst to you about Freminet, so spoiler warning for some of his locked/upcoming voice lines bc I’m going absolutely insane over how he manages to flirt so submissively. Freminet may be truly sweet and innocent, but you can’t tell me that he isn’t purposefully advertising his subby nature. This guy automatically declines tasks from ppl other than his family, but offers himself up to “be of some use to you” in the first greeting 🤨. He straight up asks for orders with zero shame but it’s really the subtle things that are making me obsessed. I can’t really explain properly but it’s kind of like how a brat baits a dom into being more aggressive except he does it in a soft way?? He’s almost one of those mildly manipulative uwu boys going “I’m so shy 🥺👉👈 plz fuck me.”

Example A: Probably the best known example of this is one of his ascension lines where he goes “You didn't have to do this for me, you know. I'd obey you regardless.” Wtf bro, you can’t just say that?!? Being a bad liar doesn’t excuse you from not even trying to hide the horny. Please stop before I bend you over. I know some ppl interpret this as sad but imo it’s one of the most boldly sexual things to come out of his mouth.

Example B: Freminet mentions always having a home at the House of Hearth. And when you ask him to join your party he either says “At your command.” or eagerly asks us to take him (with us). But in the last option he replies with “Well, *fake ass sigh* I’ve got nowhere to go…” like he’s actively fantasizing about us making him come (along). I can just tell he’s smiling while saying this shit, he ain’t slick.

Example C: In an upcoming event the Traveler jokes about wanting to try on his helmet. Immediately the whore behavior jumps out and Freminet responds with “Well, if it’s an order…” Then there’s legit an option to say back “Yep, that’s an order”. Excuse me?!? Are you fucking kidding?!? I am actually gonna go feral rn. Like ofc Paimon interrupts saying “Hey, now’s not the time!” Paimon knows Freminet won’t get anything done once I slut him out like he’s obviously begging to be. “We don’t want to bother him now.” Bother him??? Bitch, he won’t be able to talk or walk once I’m done with him.

Anyways, that’s the end of my rant, but like wtf Genshin? Atp they might as well just let us give the kinky mf a contract and a collar

Bonus Points: The way Freminet will use his soft, raspy voice to randomly bust out a line more romantic than the actual poet characters in-game is crazy. Traveler just said goodnight like a normal person, wdym "May your dreams be as dazzling as the starry night above the ocean, and your dreamless nights be naught but filled with serene respite." Excuse me Prince Charming, how the hell am I supposed to go to bed without you in it now?

HKJFKSFSBDKDJSF

Anon please, I thoroughly enjoyed your analysis and now I cannot unhear these voice lines as anything except subby begging behavior 😵‍💫

Freminet has us all whipped with his pretty voice, short-shorts, and flirting. He knows exactly what he's doing and has no shame, it seems

[genericpuff]

someone responded to me on reddit with their own theory as to what's going on with the eisners so i'm gonna share it here because it's worth reading 🍵

like there's definitely the aspect of it being a Webtoons Originals at play as well, I obviously can't feasibly prove that WT's is paying out the Eisners for their wins and that's not an accusation I wanna be throwing around willy-nilly, but the brand affiliation alone almost definitely factors into it all (and it definitely doesn't help the Eisners seem legit when they keep awarding the same comic 3 years in a row).

There was also a comment I found in the /r/comicbooks sub from the perspective of a former judge-

Considering how much work it would take to properly read the entirety of the nominees - as most webcomics are long-form and will require starting from scratch - I wouldn't be shocked at all if the win came down to "well we know this one won last year, and it has 6 million subscribers, so yeah, that one". Again, I don't want to accuse the judges or the organization of anything, but I do think at best the results of the judging are going to be affected if not outright stunted by the process itself.

All that said, it doesn't take a genius to look at how LO has fared over the last three years and understand that even from a purely objective point of view, nothing about the comic stacks up against the other nominees. It's dumb af because I'm seeing some people arguing "well there were only FOUR other nominees, which one do YOU think should win? you don't read those other four comics?? well then OBVIOUSLY LO deserves the win!" because... no? That's not how that works? It's such a strawman argument to justify defaulting the win to LO just because people on IG might not have ever read a comic like Matchmaker or Asturias before. Just because the people complaining about the LO win might not be familiar with the other nominees doesn't mean those nominees aren't bringing more to the table than LO. Which a lot of them very much are. Shit, Evan Dahm alone has been creating comics online since like the mid 2000's (??) he's an incredibly prolific creator with a lot of successful works under his belt, but apparently LO should get the win anyways... because LO's readers have never read 3rd Voice before? Come on. This is like that time when TOOL beat out Taylor Swift in their album release sales and a bunch of Swifties were upset because they had no idea who TOOL was, meanwhile all the dedicated middle aged dads were over the moon to finally see some recognition for a classic band that absolutely 100% deserved the spotlight after going so long without a new album. Swift has more than enough victories under her belt, she'll live lmao

At best this was definitely the "retired athlete on their way out" win, as a pal so gracefully put it-

And really, that last sentence really does get across the essence of LO in a nutshell - it's celebrated for being a story that never really existed to anyone who never actually looked closer. A lot of the things that the comic is praised for is often made up by an audience of people projecting their headcanon into what they were reading, because without it the comic had nothing to say. LO has to be good, because that's what they were told from day one, because if it wasn't good it certainly wouldn't be advertised this much or winning all these awards or getting all these merch opportunities or getting all this 'jealous' hate... right?

[bucephaly]

Hi, um. I am very confused by this: why would people lie about being Cherokee? I'm white, I don't mean to overstep here, I just kind of flashed back to my History of Native Americans class and from what I can tell, being Native means a shit ton of mistreatment in the past and present, a lot of absolutely absurd stereotypes, weird fetishization and creepy dehumanizing language. My great grandfather was Cherokee and he hid that pretty consistently because he knew it was going to be an obstacle to his education, his career and basically his life in general. While some digging into genealogy later confirmed it was legit, I kind of already knew from the start because people don't usually lie about something they forbid you from mentioning outside the family and which they knew would take them from "one of the brightest minds in your field" to "[insert comment about being One Of The Good Ones here]". So why would someone lie about this? It feels like that'd backfire pretty hard given how racist everyone was/is in the US. I'm not doubting it happens - people are jackasses who'll lie about most things - but I just flat-out don't get why it happens. Why, of all the lies to pick, would someone go with a lie about their ethnicity? I know this might be veering into "please explain to whitey about racism" territory but if there's an article or a book or something on this, please let me know because this is so baffling to me. Who would want to be oppressed when oppression is so awful?

So I'm from the south. Everyone and their dog here claims to have cherokee ancestry and there are a number of origins for the stories. I think there's a factor of white people playing Indian being more accepted than real natives. To many of them it's a novelty or fun fact, some of them take it farther and establish fake 'tribes', usually recognized at the state level but not federally because they have no actual history.

During the confederacy, it actually became sorta a weird show of white southern pride to claim to have cherokee ancestry, basically saying 'my family has been here in the south long enough that we were here before the cherokees were removed.' So it was a way to show 'deep roots' in the south.

There was the Guion Miller roll, where cherokees were given a payout of $133 each because of a lawsuit. A lot of people applied knowing full well they weren't cherokee, just hoping to get some money. We even see lawyers advertising the payout to get people to apply just to see if they could get some. 2/3rds of the applicants were declined for having no proof of Cherokee ancestry, and I figure some family stories may have started there. If it wasnt the applicant themself keeping up the lie, maybe it was someone later finding the application and thinking it must have been truth.

In some cases, the cherokee land lotteries could be the origin. Once cherokees were forced out of north Georgia, their land and everything on it, including their houses and personal belongings, was raffled off. Settler families made themselves at home and even started passing down the cherokees belongings as heirlooms. Eventually the story got twisted into the family being cherokee instead of stealing from them.

Then there are some other things. Mixed people claiming to be native because it was less stigmatized than being mixed, ancestors that could've lived in a place called cherokee or near the cherokee and that got misunderstood. The stupidest origin was an ancestor that lived in the 1700s who had a funny name, so she got recorded as being cherokee in the family Bible despite being from Virginia and having sounds in her name that aren't present in the cherokee language.

And I imagine there are plenty that were just tall tales someone told a kid for fun and it got passed down.

I'm not sure about the history of when these fakes started cropping up more, but I know it's been on the rise a lot in the last few decades.

And of course, nowadays, people love hiring people that give them diversity points without actually being diverse. And fake state tribes can make money. Here in the south, there isn't that much of a legitimate native presence. There is one real tribe in my state, none in two neighboring states. People here don't really figure real natives still exist outside those people with a cherokee gg grandmother that gave them high cheekbones. You'd be surprised how many people I hear saying 'oh yea but I doubt there are actually any fullblood cherokees left' and shit like that.

Oh, and also. Nowadays people love to avoid having to accept that their ancestors were colonizers. Hell, even my aunt who is also cherokee has said stuff like 'I'm sad that we have English ancestry, I was hoping we'd be Irish. I don't wanna be descended from colonizers' like.. auntie the Irish were colonizers here too. People love to be seen as less white. Youll hear pretendians saying 'no don't call me white, I'm not white I'm cherokee!' Etc. And ofc there are the hippie types.

Idk. I hope that helps somewhat, basically society is a lot more willing to accept a pretendian than a real native in a lot of cases. Plus I think a chunk of the modern issues faced by native communities is generational from past oppression [on top of the very real current oppression in native communities] and pretendians just cannot understand that.

And ofc the obligatory disclaimer that I'm reconnecting, I'm new to this too so im not an expert.

If you wanna see how many fakes there are [note: many many from Alabama and Kentucky], join the cherokee research and genealogy Facebook. Just for fun, I'm putting a post of theirs under the cut [it's long] that lists all the wild excuses and stories people have given for why their ancestors don't show up as native in research.

[bambamramfan]

Community Building Secrets

A couple weeks ago the SSC reddit had a discussion "If people want a community so much why aren't we creating it?" I found it really odd since it comes from a place of "here is why community building doesn't happen" and you can tell that in the tone of the comments.

But obviously communities are being made, every day. (There is a secondary problem which is that all communities have some problems - drama, eventual collapse, inequitable burdens, exclusivity, cults of personality, problematic members, etc - but they do EXIST, and presumably people want them despite knowing that problems of some form are likely if not inevitable.) It would be like a reddit thread on "why does no one date" despite, you know, a lot of people dating out there.

So a more legit question would be "why are our community efforts not succeeding? What is the difference between our efforts and the communities that are made."

I don't have nearly all the answers to all their questions, but reading it and thinking on the topic let me crystalize some thoughts I've had for a long time. Thoughts that are very important about how communities start, and how they go forward. I'll put them below the fold.

The Golden and Iron Laws of Communities

The Golden Law of Communities is that you need something shiny to start the kernel of any community. It is nominally the thing the community is "about", but even when it's not explicitly that, it's still the hook that gets people interested.

It could be "we have the word of God and this is how to avoid Hell." It could be "we are all descended from this sacred bloodline." It could be "Sharon hosts dinners and her husband is an executive chef so they are amazing." It could be "this famous blogger is part of the community and you'll get to meet them." It could be "we talk about and run alternative theater." It could be "there are lots of sexy young people and who knows what might happen." It could be drugs, going to water parks, arguing about charities, talking about politics, a favorite scifi author, watching black and white movies, speedrunning videogames, a particularly charismatic founder of the group, or any damn thing.

But you can't just say "hey everyone, let's have weekly dinners and help each other babysit or play boardgames, because community is nice." You have to advertise (even if just by word of mouth) a short idea that motivates people to want to get in on that.

Got that? Can you admit that dark truth? Okay we can move onto the second law.

The Iron Law of Communities is that the thing the community is about doesn't matter.

Two seconds after you have enough people in your group to begin enjoying themselves, someone will ask if they can invite their friend "who is totally cool but aren't really into X" where X is the thing in the Golden Law. Or someone will invite the people in the community to a completely generic event that has nothing to do with X - because they're cool people and you're enjoying hanging out.

And that's... fine? Like you might say yes or no to the request, but either way it will start happening, and your group will do the same things and have the same type of people and same discussions as every other group. Your identity that separates you from other people will dissolve away slowly. (In very official institutions, this will take the form of adjacent informal activities.) Congratulations, you have now made a Community with the potlucks and babysitting share-schedules and networking and incestuous dating drama.

There are of course, communities that fight against the Iron Law harder than others, but it just doesn't really matter. They're just as likely to wither and die as any community eventually, and if they had admitted those adjacent people that wouldn't hasten that day. Most of the communities you see have plenty of "members who don't care about X, are just here for the people/stuff."

If everyone was coming to the events just to see some famous blogger or sparkling charismatic leader, they would soon find out they get very little face time with that person, but there are other people around, and they're fun, and they'll start coming back for those other people and the group activities.

There's a running joke that no matter WHAT your Discord server is about, eventually they'll make a #politics channel, then an #nsfw channel, then a #nsfw-hardcore channel, etc etc. And that's where most of the chatter will take place in, eventually.

[kaeyachi]

So...I finished the Arlecchino story quest...

Spoilers below!

TW: Mentions of Suicide, Child Experimentation, Child Abuse, and Murder/Death

This is, by far, the best story quest I have ever done!

First of all, CHILDE?! CHILDE ESCAPING HIS PERSONAL AMBULANCE TO SNEZHNAYA JUST TO COME BACK TO FONTAINE TO ASK SKIRK A QUESTION? Bro is so funny, please-

please save him.

Wait, actually, yeah please do save him. Pulcinella and Pantalone are both plotting in the background, and they got Childe involved...

I also loved the children! Look at how terrifying they are! They're my absolute faves!!

Lyney cementing the reason as to why Arlecchino chose him as the next King is wonderful to see as well. For some time, I thought Freminet and Lynette had a shot, even with reading their lore. What I have failed to realize is that Lyney really is the inspiration for all of the people in the House of the Hearth. His frustrated and disappointed spiel about Freminet not trusting him with Clervie struck me to the heart. This is an older brother at work here people!

Also if I had a nickel every time a cryo younger brother hid a dangerous secret from his pyro older brother which got them into an argument once the truth came out, I'd have 2 nickels ✌️ (somehow gave me war flashbacks to a scene that doesn't even exist lmao)

LYNETTE IS THE FUNNIEST SIBLING BTW. SHE'S MY QUEEN FOR THIS.

Clervie! Our dearest! I'm not fully sure what part in her design did it, but she barely looks like an NPC somehow. Like, yes, this is still an NPC base model, but... is it perhaps the hair? And the extra lashes??

Also, her calling Arlecchino "Perrie" made me sob. I wasn't ready to hear nicknames!!

The mention of Snezhnayan auroras also made me sob again as well. You know what? This entire thing made me sob.

Clervie's dread and horror at the thought of her own mother, her unrelenting spirit that kept her going in her fight for her fellow peers freedom despite the abuse that she will receive, and her unfulfilled dreams repeatedly being mentioned throughout this quest was heartbreaking.

I do have to say- the animations they released for Arlecchino helped a lot with the emotions we are supposed to feel for this quest. Not only was that good Advertising and promotion for the Arlecchino banner, it also set up the plot that would have not been well presented ingame had they chose to do that instead.

Crucabena and Clervie part of this quest were not the only ones mentioned in this quest, but also that damn dude that she killed with her heels! I personally like the way they released all those animations because the quest feels more emotional and alive now, and we could follow with the story better than before (and it effectively increased the hype)

Speaking of more alive, the facial expressions have definitely improved! This quest had them utilizing various expressions well, specifically for the playable characters, so, again, this really helped with the feel of the quest.

Additionally, adding a picture to scenes also set the tone really well. It's not that pictures have never been included in quests before, but the way these were framed(?) made it look way better than the ones before.

By the way...is it just me? Or did Paimon's voice somewhat mellow out for this quest? I had recently played some other story and world quests, and Paimon's EN voice is admittedly high-pitched and painful to hear in those, but for this quest, it's as if her voice was toned down (like Mondstadt Paimon, but with current Paimon energy). I'm hoping this was them taking the criticism from past and adjusting their instructions to Paimon's VA accordingly, because I loved Paimon's voice in this quest (that or I'm delulu)

Quick lore tidbits before I go back to gushing about this quest:

1. Arlecchino confirmed not from Fontaine (like I legit thought she may be Khaenri'ahn due to the blood moon thing she has going for her, but it's nice to confirm her non-Fontainian status)

2. Crucabena was the one who had a deal with Dottore on sending members of the HotH to him for experimentation. Anyone who was physically impaired or left alive after a duel to death are automatically sent to him. Clervie has described this as a fate worse than death... Peruere rejected Dottore's partnership offer once she became the next knave. Also, Crucabena used Clervie as an "example" for those who wish to escape, meaning Clervie received the most abuse (which apparently worsened as the years went by). Clervie lost hope sometime along the way and was basically suicidal as well by the time she and Arlecchino had their duel... Her mindset by that time is that the only hope for freedom to her is death. The popular theory of Clervie letting Arlecchino kill her is proven in a horrifying way with this discovery... (yes, she wanted Arlecchino to be the king, but at the same time, she took this situation as a chance to hit 2 birds with 1 stone)

3. Project Stuzha is apparently something highly dangerous, and Pulcinella and Pantalone are trying to get Childe and Arlecchino involved (Childe was told to aide the project by Pulcinella, while Arlecchino says she doesnt want the HotH to be involved in it)

4. Here is me reannouncing that I am in fact taking the L on the Freminet and Crucabena situation. Basically, the timeline is that at age 16, Clervie dies, and we are left with a 1 year time period for a 6 year old Freminet to enter under Crucabena (I'm guessing this is either a retcon or a means to hide the Arlecchino plot by not having them directly say mother in Freminet's character story 4). After that said 1 year, Peruere kills Crucabena and has spent several months in Snezhnaya before reviving the House of the Hearth and adopting Lyney and Lynette (perhaps the children of Crucabena's HotH simply stuck together during that time)

Basically, yes, Arlecchino is in her mid-20s. Not my personal cup of tea, but hey, genshin ages are confusing most days (Ayato is older than her, and Ayaka may actually be older than her as well... ugh I need a moment please... I MAY BE THE SAME AGE AS HER. NO-)

5. Freminet used to also call Lyney "brother". What changed that, I'm not sure (and if I had a nickel...), but the thought of baby Freminet following around big bro Lyney and big sis Lynette makes my heart melt. Freminet actually cried after Lyney basically told him how important Fremi is to him, so whoever made Freminet think otherwise... 😡 they better square up because we ride at dawn

ok back to me gushing

THE BOSS FIGHT? IT WAS SO COOL! It was beautifully animated, and the fact that they added this at the end?

The fear on the traveler's eyes upon realization of what true power Arlecchino held was amazing imo. We canonically cannot defeat Arlecchino in her boss fight! She will be a weekly boss that we can defeat, but in actuality, we really cannot beat the number 4 of the Fatui Harbringers.

We now have actual proof that harbringers 1-4 are not within our capabilities to challenge, and to add to that horror, this is us fighting Arlecchino with Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet. This is also actual proof that we, the traveler, cannot defeat a ton of other characters as well! (were cooked if we never get a power boost and plot armor✌️)

Also let me sneak in this picture:

Cunty as fck. Powerpuff girls energy. They're the Heathers, and we, the traveler, are Veronica.

And finally, the last part of my commentary that cemented this quest as my top 1:

Everything Arlecchino has done for the House of the Hearth, it was all thanks to Clervie and her dreams.

Arlecchino has shaped the HotH into a more honest relationship between her as the father and them as her children. Everything Clervie hated about the old HotH is now nonexistent in this version.

The children could be set free.

Duels are not to death.

They will not be sent to their doom if they lose.

This is everything that Clervie dreamed of, and this is everything Clervie tragically never got to see and experience because she lost all hope.

Clervie's story ended in tragedy, but Peruere lived and breathed Clervie's dreams for her anyway. Seeing the aurora was the start of Peruere finding the goal of living Clervie's dream, and now, Arlecchino strives to do her best to see those dreams come to fruition.

And the qualities that Peruere admired in Clervie are the same qualities that made her want Lyney to become the next king. Hopeful, caring, protective, passionate, and full of conviction. Lyney will take the mantle and live and breathe for Clervie's and Peruere's dreams someday.

Honestly, I have more to say, but I think this is a good place to stop for now. The dynamics of all these characters have made this experience worthwhile, and I hope that genshin continues with this sort of style in the future. Here's to more amazing stories from genshin!

Bonus screenshot while we are still here:

[gartenofbanny]

Barbie Wire..oh boy what a mess she is. Barbie Wire isn't that much of a mess because of how she's written, she's a mess because of how little she has. Out of all the antagonists in Helluva Boss, Barbie Wire has the most missed opportunities, which is sad to even think about. This is a character that has been recognized by the fandom ever since the pilot was released yet in her debut she has lesser screentime than Verosika Mayday. Who knew that Blitzo's ex would get more screentime than Blitzo's actual relative, but screentime isn't the only problem I have with this character. Viv and her crew had a couple opportunities to mention or show Barbie Wire in previous episodes or even outside the show, but they didn't for some reason. Despite Viv stating that Helluva Boss mainly centers around Blitzo and his history, they never expanded on Barbie Wire, who is Blitzo's sister.

The Circus

The Circus was the first episode in Season 2 showing Blitzo and Stolas as children. While most of the episode centered around Stolas and Blitzo, we got to see Blitzo's childhood for the first time. What his occupation was, how his father treated him, his relationship with Fizzarolli, and how he first met Stolas...wait..that's it. Those were the only things we actually saw in The Circus.

Despite literally being Blitzo's twin, Barbie Wire wasn't shown or mentioned once throughout this entire episode. They instead gave that sibling-like role to Fizzarolli who isn't even related to Blitzo at all. Barbie Wire wasn't even mentioned by Cash Buckzo when he tried to convince Blitzo to steal from Stolas' home.

There were people assuming that this character right here is Barbie Wire, but different horn patterns. So an episode showing Blitzo's childhood for the first time doesn't even show Barbie Wire once, what a great start.

Lack of Hype

Barbie Wire had very little hype for her character as time was going on. Viv and the other creators did very little to showcase her or even try to make an attempt to hype her up, the fandom has acknowledged and appreciated Barbie Wire's existence more than the creators themselves have. Let that sink in.

For this section, I'm gonna bring up a character that actually had hype and that's Andrealphus. Now personally, I don't believe Andrealphus was planned until Season 2 was being developed because you'd think a character like him would be mentioned way more especially by Stella in Season 1. Anyway, Andrealphus had some hype surrounding him with his design and role released in February 2022

And in one of the teasers of Western Energy, we actually get a gif of his Frozen-themed birthday cake-shaped manor hyping up his character even more. While he was underwhelming as hell in his debut, people were looking forward to the episode just to see him for the first time.

Are there any gifs featuring Barbie Wire for Unhappy Campers? No, there aren't. The only gifs that advertise Unhappy Campers are three gifs of Moxxie and Millie in their mediocre human disguises.

People only knew that Barbie Wire was going to be in this episode due to a teaser trailer for Helluva Boss that was released last year. I'm pretty sure some folks didn't even know that Barbie Wire was even gonna be in this episode getting into it.

I almost forgot to mention, the latest merch sale for Helluva Boss completely forgot to mention the new Barbie Wire pin that was released. Not sure how the hell they missed that, but I'm pretty sure it was intentional.

Very little screentime

Barbie Wire does not have much screentime and the screentime she does have doesn't really explain much of her character. Half of her screentime consists of her fighting Moxxie and Blitzo and the other half of her screentime consists of her shit talking Blitzo and we don't have a clue as to why she hates his brother.

Barbie Wire has more screen time being mentioned by Blitzo and other demons than she actually appearing in the episode itself. Hell Barbie Wire legit has more screen time just being featured in posters or being mentioned by other characters in previous episodes than she does in her actual appearance in Unhappy Campers overall.

Remember when the robotic version of Fizzarolli was introduced in the beginning of Loo Loo Land and was the antagonist throughout the entire episode. What the hell happened to that? Oh I know, Helluva Boss as of recently loves to maintain two or three plots which makes the pacing out of order which as a result makes the character screen time shorter.

Lady Blitzo

Personality-wise, Barbie Wire is just Blitzo but female. She uses her body to manipulate people to get what she wants, works for an illegal business, hates damn near everybody, is violent as hell, and blames others for her failures. There are very few differences between Barbie Wire and Blitzo, I know that there probably are differences but I don't know what exactly those differences are because we don't know a lot about Barbie Wire. More on that later.

Her Human Disguise

I never had a problem with Barbie Wire's true form because I don't care about her looking exactly like Blitzo. She's literally his twin, why wouldn't they look the same? It is one thing for Crimson and Moxxie to look alike since they're father and son, but it's understandable that Barbie Wire looks like Blitzo.

wait did Barbie Wire get a redesign?

But what isn't understandable or even makes sense is Barbie Wire's human form looks very similar to Velvette as a Sinner.

Why does Barbie Wire, a Hellborn demon from Helluva Boss look somewhat like an older version of Velvette a sinner from Hazbin Hotel? This is the second new character in a row who looks like an already-designed character. And like the 5th character overall who has a design similar to a previously made character.

And why the hell are her forearms so huge but everything else is thin? I know Blitzo has big forearms but isn't he also muscular? It makes some sense with his build but Barbie Wire isn't muscular at all. She's literally a fallen-off pop star junkie.

Vivziepop has been drawing and designing for almost a decade as a hobby and as an occupation yet she can't make a design that doesn't have remnants of an already-made design. Too many characters look similar to each other in both Hazbin and Helluva that sometimes you forget who is who.

They can literally do so much with Barbie Wire's human disguise, but they just made her look like Velvette but skinnier.

Lack of character story

There's..not much to Barbie Wire that actually answers questions that people had. The most popular one being, "Why does Barbie Wire hate Blitzo?" In Unhappy Campers we don't get a reason as to why Barbie Wire hates Blitzo, we just know that she hates him for some reason.

I still can't with Blitzo's puppy dog eyes

At least when Verosika made her debut in Spring Broken we're given a few lines as to why Verosika just despises Blitzo. Blitzo ran away with her car all the way to Wrath and maxed out her credit card on horse riding lessons and possibly never came into contact with her again up until Spring Broken. And in Ozzie's we're given even further clues as to why Verosika hates Blitzo as she literally insults him in the last few lines of her portion of "House of Asmodeus". But with Barbie Wire, Blitzo's blood related twin sister, we get nothing. We just know that she hates Blitzo and never wants to speak with him again.

We don't even know anything about her personally either. What was her relationship with Fizzarolli like? What was her relationship with Verosika like? Why did Verosika insult her? How did she obtain an Asmodean Crystal? All of these questions, no canonical answers. Just fan theories and speculation which..is a huge ass problem with Helluva Boss and to an extent Hazbin Hotel too.

Conclusion

Barbie Wire is unfortunately a wasted potential and a huge missed opportunity writing wise and at this point I'm not even looking forward to the new characters at this point especially the female ones because I know the writers won't do the characters any good. Thank you all for reading and I hope you all have a nice day!

[hairstevington]

Do I wanna know?

Eddie Munson x Steve Harrington

Summary: Somewhere in the multiverse, there is a world where everyone has a choice - If you had the option of reading a list of everyone who's ever been in love with you, would you do it?

Word Count: 2.6K

Warnings: Modern day AU sort of?? It's not based in realism, just go with it. Best friends to lovers, Robin & Steve & Eddie all live together because I said so, mutual pining, fluff, confession of feelings, lots of denial but they figure it out eventually

A/N: This idea came to me during my stats class, and then it became very difficult to continue focusing on my stats class. (I wrote it as soon as we were dismissed lol). Enjoy this cute little Steddie one shot! Ao3 link here :)

--------------------

“Dude, did you see what they just announced?” Steve asked as he played video games with Eddie.

“Yeah, it’s some wild shit,” Eddie replied. “How is it even possible?”

“I think it’s fake,” Robin called from the kitchen as she made them all pizza rolls. 

“Not fake,” Steve insisted. “I was reading about it on the internet and a bunch of people are saying it’s legit.”

“Well, if you read it on the internet, it must be true,” Robin remarked sarcastically. 

“Whatever,” Steve said. “I’m gonna get mine and find out.”

The deal was that, somehow, everyone had the option of getting a list of statistics about their lives. It was advertised with a variety of categories to look through - some of them could have been retrieved through bank statements and background checks, like the number of countries visited, money spent, etc. Other categories (let’s be real, the most intriguing categories), were far more mysterious.

Number of near-death experiences. Every book you’ve read, with a total word count. And, the most exciting of the bunch - How many people have been in love with you, and who.

“Don’t waste your money or your time,” Eddie said with a roll of his eyes. “It’s bullshit. Probably just another way for the government to squeeze more money out of us.”

“Come on, it’s not some conspiracy, Eds,” Steve replied. “I’m just curious, that's all.”

“Oh, I bet,” Robin chimed in. “Just be honest and admit you want to know about the love thing. You and your ego, Dingus.” Steve smiled. He couldn’t argue with her.

“As if you’re not also dying to read yours,” he countered. 

“I’m pretty sure mine would just hurt my feelings,” Robin said with a sigh. “Robin Buckley - loved by her platonic soulmate Steve Harrington and Creepy Carl from band camp.” Eddie snickered.

“Carl wasn’t that creepy,” he said. 

“You’re only saying that because you were also kind of creepy in high school,” she replied. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Eddie responded with a shrug. “But I think I speak for all former creeps when I say we were just socially stunted and awkward. Most of us grew up to be half-decent people.”

“Way to humble brag,” Steve teased. 

“I’m bragging by saying I’m half-decent?” Eddie replied. Steve laughed and nodded. Meanwhile, Robin quickly scrolled through her phone until she stumbled across what she was looking for with a gasp.

“Oh my god,” she said. “Creepy Carl’s most recent post is about how the patriarchy is a myth.” Steve laughed again and pushed Eddie playfully. Eddie flopped over on the couch and groaned.

“Dammit, Carl, I was rooting for you!” he joked. 

“We were all rooting for you, how dare you!” the three of them shouted in unison. 

That was, of course, a reference to America’s Next Top Model, which Robin showed the boys clips of one night during a rant about the toxicity and absolute batshit nature of early 2000s reality TV. That quote, for whatever reason, stuck. They had a lot of inside jokes like that.

This is how life had been for the three of them the last few years. They’d become best friends straight out of high school, then all moved in together. Life was comfortable and nice. 

-

Steve somehow convinced Robin that they would both get their lists together. Eddie, on the other hand, downright refused.

“I don’t need any of that shit,” he insisted. “It’s not gonna do me any good, and I’m perfectly fine staying in the dark.”

“Okay, I get it,” Steve said, holding his hands up. “You’re scared and lame, that’s totally okay.” Eddie rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, dickhead,” he replied. “This whole thing is stupid anyway. And - and it’s not like we can seriously trust whatever it says. It’s probably just…all lies, anyway.”

“Yeah, but they’re fun lies,” Robin countered. “It’s like hearing gossip about your own life.”

“Exactly!” Steve agreed. “It’s just for fun.”

“Have your fun, then,” Eddie said devilishly. “I’ll be in my room, not being an idiot.”

Robin and Steve put their names and date of birth into a search engine and, within five minutes, each had their respective documents in their inboxes. Steve opened his immediately and eagerly, skipping past all the boring shit until he found the good stuff. 

Number of people who have had crushes on Steve Harrington: 436.

Number of people who have been in love with Steve Harrington: 85.

“Holy shit,” he muttered, looking at the long list of names. He looked up from his phone to see Robin staring at the wall. “Why aren’t you reading?”

“I don’t think I can do it,” she said. “I’m chickening out.” Steve scoffed. 

“What? Robs, come on. You already ordered the damn thing.”

“Yeah, but -” She sighed. “But now it’s, like, real.”

“Do you want me to read yours for you?” he asked. She shook her head. 

“No, I think I’m just going to keep it unread for now,” she decided. Steve shrugged.

“Okay, if that’s what you want.” Robin scooted herself over on the couch so she could look at Steve’s phone screen. 

“Wait, they even have crushes on there?” she asked, her eyes wide. “Jeez, Harrington. That’s quite the list.” Steve smirked, realizing it very much did give him an ego boost. He continued scrolling to see even more categories.

Number of people Steve Harrington has had a crush on: 63.

Jesus, Steve thought to himself. That’s kind of embarrassing. In his defense, some of them were celebrities. He continued reading.

Number of people Steve Harrington has been in love with: 3.

Steve didn’t even have to read the list to know who was on it. He quickly clicked his phone off before Robin could see.

“Hey!” she said. “What was that for? It’s not like there are any secrets between us.”

“No, I just - I’ll read it later,” Steve said. 

Robin would usually be right. She was almost completely right. It’s just that Steve had one secret. And it wasn’t even really a secret, it was just something he kept to himself, because it didn’t really matter. 

Nancy Wheeler

Robin Buckley

Eddie Munson

He had barely admitted it to himself, honestly. It’s not like anything would happen. Him and Eddie were best friends, and if something was going to happen between them, it would have already happened. Now, they were too close, and living together. It was different. It didn’t matter. Besides, Robin was on his list, and he wasn’t running off to date her.

Steve put his phone away and didn’t check the list again for a couple days. 

-

“So, how’s the list?” Eddie asked one morning as he made a pot of coffee. “You haven’t said anything about it.” Steve shrugged.

“It’s like a million pages long,” Robin chimed in. Eddie clicked his tongue against his teeth.

“That’s not surprising,” he said. “It’s a shame Harrington isn’t much of a reader. It might take him years to get through.” Steve glared at Eddie, who grinned in response.

“Are you ever going to stop poking fun at me about that?” he wondered. 

“Aaaaabsolutely not,” Eddie replied. “Steve, The Hobbit is 310 pages. 310. Even one page a day you would have been done in a year, and you’re still not done.”

“Okay, listen,” Steve responded defensively. “It’s not my kind of book, alright?”

“He likes the ones with the pictures,” Robin teased. Eddie laughed and high-fived her. 

“Wooow, okay,” Steve replied. “I see how it is. I’m just gonna grab my cereal and go, then.”

“Nooo, don’t leave on our behalf,” Eddie said.

“We’re soorrrryyyyyy,” Robin added. Steve chuckled and shook his head. 

“Whatever,” he resigned. “I haven’t read the damn list. Not all of it, anyway.” Robin’s ears perked up.

“But you’ve read some of it, right?” she asked. “Spill!”

“Just the first ten names or so,” Steve said. He had gotten a glimpse when he skimmed over it the first time. “I think it’s in chronological order.”

“Anyone surprising?” Eddie wondered. Steve shook his head. 

“No,” he said. “Although it did confirm my suspicion that Katie Crystal was into me, after all.”

“I’m thinking maybe I should read mine,” Robin said quietly.

“Yeah, well duh,” Eddie replied. “You paid for it.”

“It’s just - it’s not a big deal, right?” Steve looked at Eddie to survey his reaction. Eddie just shrugged. “It’s like you said, Eds. We don’t even know if it’s accurate.”

Steve didn’t really know if all of it was accurate, but some of it sure as shit was.

“Exactly,” Eddie agreed. “So, Steve, there’s a chance that Katie Crystal actually hated your guts. Who’s to say?”

Steve rolled his eyes. Another few days passed. 

Robin flip-flopped between whether or not she wanted to read her list every few hours or so. Steve and Eddie placed their bets on how long it would take her to crack. 

Meanwhile, Steve counted his lucky stars that Eddie decided not to buy his list. It was clear that they were bros and nothing more, so Eddie finding out would have made everything incredibly weird.

This was for the best.

-

Things carried on as they usually did, until one day Steve was so bored, he decided to revisit the godforsaken document. Plus, he’d been on a few dates that ended in disaster, and reading about the hundreds of people that were into him was bound to put him in good spirits.

He had no idea just how right he was.

The names were all relatively normal. Steve tended to know when girls had a thing for him, especially back in high school. There were some names he didn’t recognize, which meant that there were total strangers crushing on him. He wondered how that was even possible. Like, at that point, they were just basing it on looks and vibes alone. 

Eh. Steve had crushes on people in the past over less. He kept reading.

He made his way down the list until he reached Eddie’s name. He read it again and again to make sure he was seeing it right. 

Eddie had said repeatedly that this thing could be total bullshit, though. Steve had to take it all with a grain of salt. Besides, crushes meant nothing. Hell, Steve was pretty sure Eddie had mentioned once that he thought Steve was hot when they first became friends. 

Steve made his way to the list of people who’d loved him. None of the names mattered except one. 

Eddie Munson. 

“Oh, shit,” Steve muttered. “Oh, shit!” He jumped up out of bed and paced the floor. He had no idea what to do with this information.

It could be bullshit. It could be nothing. 

Or maybe, Eddie had kept saying it was bullshit because he knew what Steve would find. 

“OH MY GOD.”

Robin came bursting into Steve’s room a few moments later. 

“What? What’s going on?” she said. She looked to see his phone on the floor and his hands in his hair. “Oh my god, you read it! What was it? What’s got you all freaked out?”

“I gotta - uhh - I gotta -” He didn’t know how to finish that sentence with Robin in the room. He had to find Eddie - that’s what he had to do. But his head was spinning too much to do so. 

“That’s it. I’m gonna read mine right now,” Robin decided. She swiftly left to go back to her room while Steve continued to pace. 

“Holy shit,” he said to himself. He thought about it for a few minutes, scrawled something on a piece of paper, and then walked down the hall to Eddie’s room.

Eddie opened the door a few inches, still wearing his sweatpants. He hadn’t left his room yet that day, but his guitar was lying on his bed, which meant he’d been practicing. 

“What’s up?” Eddie asked. 

“I finished the list,” Steve replied. Eddie’s jaw clenched just enough for Steve to notice, and then he shrugged. 

“And?” Steve continued to look at Eddie until he broke his composure. He sighed, then opened his door wider. “Come in,” he said. 

Steve had been in Eddie’s bedroom a million times. They’d watched movies in there and stayed up all night talking and smoked together and dear sweet lord I am so dumb for never noticing.

“Is it bullshit?” Steve asked. Eddie started spinning the ring on his middle finger anxiously, refusing to make eye contact.

“Uhh, is what bullshit?” Eddie replied. Steve put his hands on his hips and cocked his head. 

“Come on, you know what I’m talking about,” he said. “I just - is it bullshit? Tell me the truth.”

Eddie stared at him for a few long moments before gently shaking his head. 

“It’s not bullshit.”

Steve’s hands fell back to his sides, and he felt himself get lightheaded. 

“It’s -” he began, struggling to find the words. He cleared his throat. “Wow, I uh -”

“It doesn’t matter, though,” Eddie interjected. “Just so you know. I like what we have. We’re, ya know, we’re friends. Roommates.”

“Do you still -?” Steve started to ask. He noticed Eddie’s eyes flooded with fear, a sight he rarely saw. “I mean, do you still?”

“Steve, I -” Eddie began, his voice tired. “I really, uh. I don’t know what to say.” 

Steve dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out the piece of paper he’d ripped from his notebook. He held it out for Eddie to take, and when Eddie didn’t reach for it, Steve stepped closer and stuffed the page right into Eddie’s hand. 

“Read it,” Steve encouraged.

“What is it?”

“It’s your list.” Eddie’s faced scrunched with confusion. “Yeah, I made it myself.” 

“I told you, I don’t wanna know,” he said, trying to give the paper back to Steve.

“Trust me, you do.”

Eddie sighed, then unfolded the paper and read it. 

People who are in love with Eddie Munson:

-Me

-(Steve Harrington)

Steve waited and watched Eddie’s eyes travel up and down the page, similar to the way Steve’s had when he read Eddie’s name on his own list. Finally, Eddie looked up. 

“Really?” he asked, his voice soft. Steve smiled and nodded. 

“Really.”

In that moment, they both knew this changed everything, and yet it changed nothing at all. They’d just skipped a bunch of steps of dating - blown past the getting-to-know-you stage straight into living together and doing all the domestic shit. 

Eddie and Steve each stepped toward the other until their hands met. 

“OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!”

Robin’s voice pierced through their intimate moment and completely obliterated it. The boys glanced at each other in confusion and then ran out to see what Robin was yelling about. 

She was already out the front door by the time they got to the kitchen. If this were a cartoon, she would have left behind a cloud of smoke. 

“What do you think that’s about?” Steve asked. Eddie felt his phone buzz and checked it to find Robin had texted a screenshot to the household group chat. He smirked.

“Vicki’s on her list,” Eddie said. Steve chuckled, happy that everyone managed to find their happy ending. 

“You know what that means?” Steve asked. 

“That you owe me 20 bucks?” Eddie teased.

“Well, that," Steve replied. "But is also means we’re alone in the apartment for a while." Eddie grinned and took Steve by the hand. 

“I like the way you think.”

They ran to Steve’s room together, and if the confession of love hadn’t already changed everything, sleeping together certainly did.

It was the good kind of change, though. The kind that moved mountains and cleared all the clouds from the sky. 

At last, the idiots were together. All it took was years of denial and one payment of $44.49.

----------------------

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[strangemaleswaps]

Strange Halloween Head Swap

I was so psyched for Halloween this year because it was the first time I could spend it with my boyfriend, Julian. I'd never been a big horror guy myself, but he goes nuts for spooky thrills. I'd always wanted to go to one of those Halloween events, like haunted houses or corn mazes, and I thought being with Julian was a good enough reason to go. We were looking up events happening nearby on my laptop, and I thought I found a cool one.

"Let's see." Julian read the website.

"What's it say?"

"Haunted house. Ooo! Haunted corn mazes. Nice! Magic show. Magic show?"

"I love Magic shows!"

"I guess it could be a Halloween thing. Wouldn't be surprised if they just replaced the rabbit in a hat with something scary instead. Or maybe the assistant wears a ghost costume or something."

"But wait." I pointed at the bottom of the page. "It says absolutely no costumes are allowed. Aren't you supposed to wear a costume?"

"Yeah, for costume parties and trick-or-treating and stuff. But for things like this where they have paid actors and stuff in the haunted events, they don't want randos in costume, in order to keep up with the vibes."

"That makes sense." I noticed another part of the website that said "18+ only for the whole event."

"Ooooo," we both said in unison.

"That better mean they have strippers and vodka."

"Hell yeah!"

"Now where is this again?"

"Lemme see. Some place called Caneville." He looked up the town info. "Aw shit."

"What? Too far?"

"No, just a 30 min drive. But it's got such a tiny population that it's probably one of those hick towns. You know those places always give me the creeps. Like everyone seems to stare at you because you're an outsider."

"But don't you like creepy things? We can ignore the background of the town and enjoy the festivities." I kissed him.

"Hey, I guess. Sure. As long as you promise me one thing..." He placed his hand on my bulge which had now grown.

The 31st arrived, and so we got dressed and left at 3pm. The drive there was pretty normal, up until we reached the town. There was an unexpected amount of traffic leading into the town itself. As we continued along, we found that all the cars were headed to the festival.

"Woah, I didn't think it would be this packed!" Julian said excitedly.

"Me neither…it's weird though. Why would such a large number of people be coming to some small-town festival? It doesn't make sense."

"Dunno. Maybe they paid extra to get their event on the top of everyone's search results? I think you can do that."

"Maybe. Well, it better be good then."

Luckily, we found a parking spot in time, before too many people showed up. The place was pretty big and was decorated nicely for Halloween; jack-o-lanterns lined the fences, ghost shaped lights hung above us, and the grass was covered in hay. We noticed the sign advertising the magic show started at 5pm, so we checked out the other attractions first. Making our way through the crowds, it was somewhat obvious who was from this little town, and who drove here. There were people in all shapes and sizes, but a lot of the older people were wearing formal clothes and usually had grumpy looks on their faces - probably upset that there was so much diversity this year.

We were walking along, when we saw two punk guys, one with a red mohawk, and one with brown, searching around looking confused. Red mohawk made eye contact with me and approached.

"Hey, do you guys know where the free booze is?" He didn't even look old enough to drink but I didn't really care.

"Free booze? How come I didn't know about this?" Julian asked.

"What do you mean? It was in huge letters on the ad. Couldn't have missed it."

"I don't remember seeing anything like that though," I said. 

"Damn, nobody else seems to know either. Did I get some fake version of something? Everything else seems legit."

"That's weird yeah."

"Anyway, I'm Ian. Let me and my buddy know if you ever find the free booze. Fuck, I forgot I was gonna meet my boyfriend here too. Shit, well catch you later." He seemed like such a weird guy but hey, he's probably just 18 and desperate for a chance to drink.

5pm arrived and we headed to the magic show. As we expected, there was a pretty big crowd. I was so excited though, and it looked like everyone else was too. It started when a chubby guy in a tuxedo walked on stage.

"Friends and folks, welcome to The Great Guillermo magic show! I am the Great Guillermo!" He took a bow, and everyone applauded.

"Now for my first trick, I will make this sword float!" He took out a sword and set it on the floor. It began floating all the way up to his head when he did some hand motions. The crowd cheered once again. It was glowing blue as well, which was strange because he didn't announce anything like that.

"For my next trick, I will need one volunteer from the audience." The crowd seemed hesitant, most likely because the idea of a sword related trick would make some queasy. Luckily, after a bit, a guy around my age raised his hand and stepped onto the stage.

"All right! What is your name, young man?"

"Tyler."

"Ok Tyler! For your part, stand in that spot real good and don't move!"

"Oh ok." He did a bit of a nervous laugh. The Great Guillermo took the sword and aimed it at his own neck. What in the world was he doing? It started glowing blue once again and went through his neck! The audience gasped. I knew it was all a trick, but I expected blood or something. Instead, what happened was unbelievable. His head hopped right off his body! Completely still alive, it fell to the floor and the body took a bow. The crowd went wild.

"Holy shit man, that was so cool! How’d he do that?" Julian turned to look at me.

"I have no idea!"

Normally with tricks like this he would go back to normal to start the next trick, but he was still a head and began talking again.

"Now this is only the first part of my trick. Here comes the part where my volunteer must help." His body, still moving on its own, took the sword and aimed it at Tyler's neck. When that blue glow returned, The Great Guillermo's head hopped over to the left of Tyler. In an instant the sword sliced Tyler's head off, just like it did before. Though, instead of hopping off and hitting the floor, it seemed to fly off in the direction of The Great Guillermo's body, as if it was a magnet. When it got to the neck, it plopped itself on top, replacing The Great Guillermo's head.

Tyler's head on The Great Guillermo's body was a funny sight, seeing a skinny and young-looking guy with such a large body. He began moving and reacting, as if Tyler was actually controlling it. Tyler's head looked down and widened his eyes at the sight.

"Woooahh, this is trippy!" The Great Guillermo's head did the same and flew onto the empty body like a magnet. The audience began laughing when they saw the full image. They just swapped their heads!

"This is even crazier; how did they do that? Man, I gotta know now!" Julian was getting so excited now. It made me so happy to see him in a good mood. Tyler, on his new chubby body, realized he could move his legs and started walking around.

"Oh wow, I can move? This is weird." It looked so real. But it must be fake right? I know a lot of times magic shows pretend to pick out a random audience member, but really it was all planned from the start. The mood changed a bit when Tyler started becoming restless.

"Hey, uh could I have my body back now? This is actually feeling kinda uncomfortable."

"Of course, my boy! Right after you learn your lesson!" 

"Lesson?" My gut told me that this was no longer part of the act.

"The lesson of hard work of course! I may have been a little overweight, but it's not impossible to work it all off! And when you do, it should be just like your former one! Well…maybe a bit older! In the meantime, I’ll be enjoying your nice slim body!" The Great Guillermo seemed like a completely different person at this point and began laughing maniacally.

"What? Hey this isn't funny anymore! What's your problem?!"

"Oh, don't worry, Tyler. You won't be alone. In fact," He looked at the audience with a gleam in his eye. "Everyone else will be starting their own unique journeys!" He quickly grabbed the sword and pointed it at the audience. They all screamed when not only did it start the blue glow, but it began multiplying as well! Sword after sword came out of the original; there must've been hundreds! It seemed like we all knew what was about to happen next, because the crowd turned around and ran. Julian was by my side…at least at first. Soon enough the stampede plowed through us, desperate to escape, and we were separated.

"Julian! Meet me at the car!" I screamed, not sure if he heard me or not. I ran away from the stage area, dodging unfortunate heads flying everywhere. The Great Guillermo began laughing again.

"Now everyone will learn the true value of hard work! Whether you want to change your new body or not, adapting to your new life is the fun part!"

When I got to the parking areas, I was shocked at the horrible sight. There were people with the same idea as me hiding in cars…only the blue swords were able to pass right through them to slice their heads. It didn't stop there because the decapitated heads seemed to be in an ethereal state, where they could also go through the walls. That bastard magician. He planned all this! I'm screwed! While I was in shock, I could feel something hit me in the neck. It didn't hurt at all, but I felt dizzy. I watched as the world went in a loop, and then back to normal. I could see myself flying through the air, but when I looked down, there was nothing. No body. I could still feel my hands and the rest of my body, but I was far enough away that I couldn't check to see if it was moving.

I couldn't change the direction I was heading in, but I could lean a little to the left or right. I'm guessing I was homing in on the nearest headless body, so I wondered if I could direct myself away from a bad one? I saw a headless body in front of me, so I jerked to the left and managed to dodge it…for a few seconds. It turned out there was a body on the other side of the fence I was on, so I flew right through it and attached myself to the neck.

I looked down and almost screamed. It was a fat body wearing a light blue dress shirt, with a tie and suspenders. I would imagine I was also wearing dress pants to go along with it, but I couldn't see past my huge belly! My waist size must’ve been double what it was before! Judging by the clothes, this probably belonged to a man that lived in the town.

I pushed my hand against the belly and felt it jiggle, sending vibrations throughout the rest of my flesh. I'm glad I wasn't a floating head anymore but I'm not too happy about being a fat guy either! I must’ve looked like Tyler did with his twink head on an obese frame. Luckily, there was a public restroom nearby, so I walked in and locked the door. I was scared to see myself in the mirror, but knew it had to do it, so I shuffled over to see my reflection.

Oh god, I was massive. It really did look strange, almost funny in a way. Normally when you gain this much weight, you also gain a double chin. But my chin and head were exactly how they always were. But yet, my body was huge. At least I wasn’t wearing some trashy looking clothes or something. Formal wear was nice, even though it felt tight on me. How do guys like this go shopping? I must’ve been wearing 5XL clothes! The curious thought of seeing what it looked like underneath crossed my mind. I guess it was going to have to be done eventually…and my chest felt like it was being crushed under the shirt I was wearing. I started by unclipping the suspenders. The front two were easy, but the back two I had to guide my hands around my oversized ass in order to make out where they were. Then I lifted my collar to take off the tie and unbuttoned the first two shirt buttons. I expected to be wearing an undershirt, since I felt so compressed, but no. The dress shirt was all it took to feel cramped. I reached for the bottom of my shirt that was tucked in and pulled up. When it was fully untucked, the belly promptly fell back down, slapped my thighs, and jiggled for a few seconds. Once it was all unbuttoned, I opened up the shirt and took it off.

Fuck. I wasn’t just big; I was morbidly obese. My man tits stuck out, love handles hung all around, and the loose skin left a crevice that covered my belly button. I really hated this. What’s Julian going to think? He might break up with me. No one would ever want to date a lardass like me. I put the shirt on, lifted up my belly in order to tuck it all back in, and walked out the door. I didn’t bother putting the tie and suspenders on again. I didn’t even need the suspenders anyway because my pants were tight enough over my big hips.

I started walking back to the festival area in order to find a clue to where Julian went. There were still blue swords flying around, but they ignored me completely. I guess they don’t go after those who had already been head swapped. Walking felt really weird because it was more like a waddle. Every step felt like I was causing an earthquake, which made it worse considering I couldn't even see my own feet! Not to mention I was sweating like a pig, even though I hadn't been walking long. I could feel the sweat stains forming in my armpits and since I had no undershirt on, it was probably obvious. I heard a familiar voice, so I turned around and noticed a familiar red mohawk. It was Ian! He was much chubbier than when I saw him before. He was talking with another guy, who lifted his t-shirt up to touch his belly.

"This is like a fuckin dream come true! Look at this gut!" Ian seemed excited to gain weight. Was that guy his boyfriend or something?

"We gotta hope that this body is good at staying big though! I want you to be my chubby bunny!" He said, flashing a grin. As I approached them, they stared for a second, but then smiled really wide. 

"Hey! Wait. You're that guy I met before. Remember? But you're like, so fuckin obese now!"

"Yeah…"

"That's awesome man!"

"Not really, I was fine being a twink before."

"Yeah man, but now you're a fuckin beast! You could like murder someone just by squashing them."

"I'll keep that in mind in case I need to murder someone," I said sarcastically.

"So, wait, where's your boyfriend?"

"No clue. I'm looking for him."

"Well good luck man. And hey, being big isn't all that bad you know."

"Yeah, maybe."

I got to the festival area to find a couple people still frequenting, but it was obvious they were head swapped. I suppose I was lucky mine ended up matching my skin color. At least the weird young head and old body combination isn't impossible naturally.

I noticed a shed area with a hastily made sign that said, "pick up your phones here." That was a good idea actually. Afterall, most people would've had their phones in the pockets of their old bodies. Maybe if Julian already found his, I can text him. Luckily, I skipped a step because I found him searching through the pile of phones inside. His body didn't look too different, at least from the sides.

"Julian!"

"Petey! You're…wow." 

"I know…this is going to take some getting used to."

"Hey no biggie. You're still you. You have your head at least. You're just a big guy now."

"Yeah, it's weird. Do you think there's any way to change back?"

"Don't think so. When I went back to the stage, the magician guy wasn't there. Fitting. Guess he just wanted chaos and well, he got it."

"Can't believe I'm stuck like this. But at least you don't look too different, maybe a bit bigger and older."

"Oh no, I've changed a lot actually. Here." He unbuttoned his shirt to reveal a flabby old man's chest.”

"Oh."

"I know right. Looks like I took the body of an old guy."

"Does it feel weird?"

"Yeah kinda. A little uncomfortable. I really just need to take off these clothes. I can feel my underwear being pulled up way too high!" I laughed. I'm glad Julian was still finding ways to make light out of a bad situation. "My back does kinda hurt though. But it's ok! We'll just work out and all like normal. Plenty of old guys are in shape!"

“Makes me so mad though. Those old guys that got our bodies are probably enjoying their nice abs right now.”

“Well, in your case, he’s in for a surprise when he sees how loose you are in the back…” I started laughing again.

“You got that right! He was probably straight, so it’ll be quite the shock. But I guess this means I’ll have to start loosening up all over again.” I touched my huge ass. “I guess I’ll have to work out too. I have a long way to go.”

"Oor…you could stay like you are. At least for now. Didn't wanna say it before but I'm totally finding you hot right now. Never fucked a fat guy before."

"Really? You like this?"

"Yep! Hey, it's still Halloween, so how about we go home, and I can feed you some candy or something." The thought of Julian feeding me was making me hard for some reason. Why do I feel like I want to stay this big? It's crazy! But I was so hungry, so I agreed.

"That sounds…pretty hot actually. Sure." Julian smirked.

"Happy Halloween my big boy." He slapped my gut.

"Happy Halloween…"

[rainbowgaez]

this current war on adblockers feels so stupid. so much time and resource is getting blown on something that feels like it only has one logical outcome. i simply do not have time to look at that shit. we live in an abundance of content, and there is just no reality in which i have even a fraction of a second to waste being advertised to. if you have to shove your name in my face, im automatically doubtful of whatever product or service it is because time has proven again and again that most of the time, most of it is bullshit.

not only that, but none of these sites are on good enough terms with me to even consider making that concession with. like do you honestly think i like any of these websites enough to let them waste my time? every single big platform is letting LLM garbage seep into its pores. everything i see has to be viewed under an increasingly zoomed in lens of scrutiny. every day i have to learn the new ways people are trying to sell candied turds because they're starting to get good at making them look like real chocolate, and every day it i inch closer to saying "why am i even fucking bothering" and ripping the cable line out of my house.

the rules and TOS on almost each site begging me to stop using adblockers are all arbitrarily enforced to the point where everyone regardless of viewpoint feels as though they're one wrongly worded post away from being booted without even being given a reason, and that's assuming they don't end up a victim of an easily executed mass reporting campaign. the moderation's hands are tied. they know the complaints aren't legit, but there are just so many of them. their tickets are all backed up. they have to clear the queue or else they'll get reprimanded for poor performance. so what if that's where most of your social connections with people across the world were. you can go to one of these other 5 websites that all have the same host of issues, some worse than others. but please give us 5.99 a month and we'll stop showing you ads bro. come on bro its only 8.99. dude trust me for 12.99 a month its so worth it. you can afford a measly 15.99 a month right? you can't beat the savings 19.99 a month (charged yearly, non-refundable) gives you.

i get it, you use something for free, you are the product, but it has never been easier to reason with myself why i should no longer be a part of this stupid transaction because i get less and less out of it by the day

[educated-zombie]

Hi, it's your friendly neighbourhood ranter again, this time with a rant about privacy. Again, probably lots of swearing coming.

This fandom is unlike any other I've been involved in through the years. I've been in various fandoms for multiple decades, and I have never seen this level of scary behaviour. Stalking seems to be second nature to a lot of members, and honestly, it's fucking disturbing.

Pedro is a fucking human being, not a prize fucking sheep you need to keep track of at all times.

The fact that people thought it was perfectly reasonable to follow him to Malta when he was filming Gladiator 2 was so fucking creepy. I know a couple of encounters were with fans who just happened to be there at the time, which is completely fucking reasonable. But booking a trip there after finding out he was there? Fucking bonkers, and super inappropriate.

I'm gonna be super fucking transparent here: I did look at airfares and hotels there, but also...I had $7 in my fucking bank account so it was legit just a bit of fun.

It's okay to imagine doing it, it's okay to idly (key word: idly) look into what it would take. It is not fucking okay to actually fucking do it.

Another fandom behaviour pattern that I've noticed in a few fandom spaces is that it's seemingly become completely fucking "normal" to hunt down the sources of selfies with Pedro, oftentimes these people have no fucking clue how intense this fandom really is. Sure, we wanna know what the interaction was like, but fuck me, can we just let the fan share what they fucking wanna share, rather than bombarding them with questions?

The way people vie to be "first" with new information regarding Pedro's location (and many other things tbh!) is like some super fucked up treasure hunt, where the reward is a dopamine hit.

It's fucking difficult to gently point out that these actions are inappropriate, and honestly tantamount to stalking (in my opinion, anyway) when the people in question double down and actually begin to use bullying tactics in what should be fandom safe spaces.

Additionally, I really want to emphasise that a lot of this activity is undertaken in heavily populated spaces, which may not necessarily be public per se, but when there's thousands of members of a "private" group, you might as well just take out a fucking Times Square advertisement.

What really fucking gets me though, is that the majority of us in the fandom do genuinely realise that he's a goddamn human who deserves to have his privacy respected just like the rest of us, but I worry that we're getting drowned out by the handful of people who don't fucking seem to understand or care that their behaviour is problematic.

If you read this post, and you share similar concerns, I strongly encourage you to speak up when you see that someone is crossing lines! You are not alone, I fucking guarantee that you'll find someone else within your fandom space who feels the same.

If this inappropriate, and downright creepy behaviour is left unchecked, I fear it will become socially acceptable within this fandom and others, and even turn into something legitimately dangerous for Pedro, his family, friends, and even fans.

Pull your fucking heads out.