#but I really just can’t help the angsty part of myself

[thespiritssaidso]

The fangirl part of me is fully convinced that Lassiter has had a crush on Shawn since season one and doesn’t know how deal with it healthily. The angsty part of me, however, often likes to add that Shawn probably does not reciprocate Lassiter’s feelings for him.

[sincerelyneo]

could i request a mark smut 😣😣 where reader and mark just had an intense argument but in the end, they cant be mad at each other for long so they just fck it out of each other 🤐🤐🤐🤐

mad at you | l.mk

“then i try to leave, but baby i just can’t stay mad at you”

💿now playing: mad at you by why don’t we

❯ summary: Mark learns that you’ve made a ‘selfish’ decision that’s bound to put a strain on your relationship. Next thing you know, you're knee-deep in an argument that somehow ends with you sprawled out beneath him; because, let’s be honest, he’s never really been any good at staying mad at you.

❯ pairings: idol!mark x fem!reader

❯ genre: angst, smut, established relationship, make up sex

❯ words: 4.3k

❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, lots of arguing, swearing, reader is lowkey dramatic, makeup sex, unprotected sex (don't do this!), nipple play, dry humping, brief clit play, slight needy mark bc i can't help myself, creampie, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader and mark argue and resolve it by fucking.

an: i love writing angsty arguments (testament to my real relationships lol) so thank you so much for this request. it lowkey brought me out of writer’s block.

The honeymoon stage lasts approximately thirty months or two and a half years – which would make sense considering you and Mark were approaching your third year together and have argued more recently than you ever had. 

But this time it’s different. You’ve never seen Mark like this, so angry that his face is bordering red and his jaw ticks so hard it might crack as the both of you drive in complete silence from your work dinner. He doesn’t even bother sneaking his usual glances at you when he pulls up at stoplights, the hand he likes to place on your thigh is gripping the wheel instead, and the only noise in the car is his rugged and frustrated exhales. 

You could feign ignorance about why he's upset, but you know the reason all too well. And while a part of you acknowledges his right to be angry, another, more prideful part, resists the idea of apologising, especially when you think his reaction seems so disproportionate to your mistake.

So you sit in the passenger seat, arms crossed and body frozen, contributing to the cold silence settling between the two of you. You prepare yourself for the earful of a lecture you’re about to get when he pulls up outside your shared apartment. 

He parks the car, slams the door shut, and strides towards your building without a backward glance. You scoff at his pettiness; he's never been so angry that he wouldn't at least wait for you to get out of the car with him. He doesn't even slow down when you trail behind. And when he nearly lets the elevator doors close without you, any chance he has of receiving an apology from you flies out the window, you think. 

He does, however, show some decency by leaving the front door open for you as you both step out of the elevator and head towards your apartment – how chivalrous. 

The chivalry doesn’t last long because the minute he hears you clasp the door shut, he’s glaring at you, arms crossed tightly over his chest, and you can't help but notice that he's rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt in frustration. If he weren't on the brink of yelling at you, you'd be tempted to make him do more than just roll up those sleeves — you'd want the fabric torn off and thrown on the floor in an instant.

“Paris, Y/N?!” Mark seethes, voice deep and uneven. “You signed a fucking contract to work in Paris?!?”

You pause, attempting to gather your thoughts, but the momentary silence doesn't offer much clarity. Eventually, you settle on, "It's just a six-month gig..." – a statement that seems to send him into a frenzy. 

“Just six months?” He rubs his jaw repeatedly in disbelief, “That’s six months that we won’t get to see each other, did you even think about that huh?”

You scoff, “You’re one to talk, need I remind you that your job takes you away from me for months at a time.”

"That's not fair," he protests. "You knew exactly what you were getting into when you agreed to date me. I didn’t agree to not seeing my girlfriend for months because she’s gallivanting away in Paris without me."

Your eyes narrow and your nostrils flare, “So what? If you would have known, you wouldn’t have wanted to be my boyfriend?”

His eyes widen and he shakes his head. His hands fly to his hair and he tugs at the strands as he huffs out a breath. 

“How the fuck did you get that conclusion from what I said?” He asks, voice sounding baffled. “The reason I’m so mad is because I like being your boyfriend, but I’m not going to see you for the next six months.”

“You’re being a hypocrite right now.”

He rolls his eyes and scoffs, “Right, because I’m always the one being unreasonable.”

“Yes, you are,” you scorn, “This job is my dream, don’t you see how selfish you're being?”

“I’m selfish?” He gasps, “That’s rich considering you didn’t even consult me when making this decision, I had to find out from your smug little co-worker in front of everyone. You were thinking solely about yourself, Y/N.”

You're on the verge of screaming. How is he not seeing things from your perspective? He's usually so understanding, so open to hearing your side. But the razor-sharp look in his eyes tells you that there's no getting through to him. He's convinced you're wrong, and nothing will change his mind.

“It’s for my job, Mark,” you cross your arms and shrug. 

“And how many times have I told you that you don’t need to work? How many times do I need to tell you I can look after the both of us?”

“And how many times have I told you that I don’t want that? I don’t want to have to always rely on you!” You snap. 

Your teeth grit as the words spit out of your mouth. They seem to hit Mark, deep, his eyes softening for a fleeting moment before sharpening again. He swallows thickly and blinks before running a hand through his hair. 

“Then what are we doing, Y/N?” He asks deflated, “What are we if you don’t want to rely on me?”

You're not sure what compels you to say it – whether it's the way you're all worked up, the entire context of the argument, or some inner recognition that you're the one who's fucked up this time despite you both having stuff to apologise for. Still, you escalate the situation from zero to one hundred without a second thought. 

“Oh, so you want to break up?”

He shakes his head and tongues the inside of his cheek, “When did I say that?!”

The fight only gets worse after that, the two of you blowing up after every sentence. You run around in circles, throwing accusations and insults at each other to the point the original premise of the argument is lost along the way of a thousand new arguments. It’s like every little thing you’ve both done to irk each other over the last month is brought up; and by the end of it, the two of you swear you’re done with each other. 

Sure, you've had your fair share of arguments, but the biting finality of the word "done" as it leaves his lips sends a sharp pang through your stomach – it hurts like hell. You've reached your limit with this endless cycle of back-and-forth; you've had enough of him. Storming past him, you head towards your shared bedroom.

Mark sighs and reaches out for your arm, but you pull away. He doesn't like this, doesn't like the chilliness he feels from you. He doesn't want to end the argument like this; it's never gone this far without a resolution before.

“You can’t just storm away when we argue Y/N, it’s childish.”

“If you don’t like it then leave!” You slam the door shut after you and lock it. 

Mark hates this more, not being able to talk this out because you’ve put a wall between the two of you. Then your words register in his mind and he’s the most hurt he’s ever felt. You want him to leave. Fuck that, he thinks. He’s not going to watch his relationship go down the drain over a petty argument. 

He knocks on the door a few times, then jiggles the doorknob, calling out your name and pleading for you to let him in. But you remain unmoved, denying him even the satisfaction of hearing your voice telling him to go away. This only adds to his frustration. He's the one you've upset, and yet here he is, begging for you to open up so he can fix things.

After a few more tries he scoffs, your words echoing in his mind once more. Leave. It crosses his mind as he makes his way to the front door of the apartment. He swings it open, ready to clear his head and crash at Johnny's for the night. But just as he's about to step out, he catches sight of a picture of the two of you on the coffee table where he keeps his keys. 

It’s from your honeymoon phase when it was easier for the two of you to say you’d never let anything come between you – when love seemed to blind you both. Mark picks up the photo, memories flooding back to the day it was taken. It was the day you met his parents and shared your aspirations of becoming a fashion designer. You reassured them that you had your own dreams and weren't just with their son for his wealth – though his parents wouldn't have minded either way; they would have been content with any girl that made their son happy. And you made Mark happy – you make Mark so fucking happy. 

Which is why he can’t believe he’s even considering leaving you in this apartment on your own after a fight. He shuts the front door and makes his way to the couch. He's eager to resolve things with you now, but both of you are too caught up in emotions, spouting shit you'll likely regret in the morning. So he opts to grab a few sofa pillows and a blanket from the storage closet instead. He strips down from his dress shirt and pants, throwing them to the floor before lying back and resting his eyes with a heavy mind.

Regret doesn't hit you until 2:00 am the following morning, when you're met with the chill of an empty space beside you as you reach out to cuddle your boyfriend, only to find him absent. Sure you thought he was overreacting to the news, but you're also painfully aware that your own words were uncalled for. You shouldn’t have asked him to leave – you didn’t want him to. 

As you heard the front door open and then close with a clink, a thick lump formed in your throat. The realisation that you had driven him away hit you hard, and you lost all motivation. You lay on your bed, makeup still intact, as you sniffled and sobbed quietly into your pillow. And even now, after tossing and turning from your mind running laps, you’d only managed to sleep for a few minutes. 

You stretch your stiff legs and reluctantly leave your bed, unlocking your bedroom door with sleepy eyes. You're taken aback when you see Mark sleeping soundly on the sofa, his breath steady with his eyes closed. You thought he had left, but there he is, covered only by the blanket from the storage closet. It breaks your heart to see him like this; he's likely cold, and he'll probably have a stiff neck in the morning for practice. And you know it's all your fault.

The guilt eats away at you, and without hesitation, you rush to the bedroom to grab his pillows and an extra blanket. Realistically, you should wake him up and insist he sleeps in bed, but the fear of his lingering anger keeps you from doing so. Instead, you kneel in front of him, attempting to swap the sofa pillows for his own bed pillows.

However, your efforts prove futile because Mark is a light sleeper – a detail you foolishly overlooked in your worried state of mind. He blinks as he wakes up once, then twice, appearing confused to find you in front of him in the living room instead of beside him in bed.

“Baby?” He whispers, his eyes hazy as he tries to make sense of what you're doing. It doesn’t take him long once he spots the sofa cushion in your hand to put the pieces together.  

You bite your lip and sigh, “I know you're mad at me, but I didn’t want you to wake up stiff in the morning.”

Mark's chest constricts. How could he possibly stay mad at you when you're so cute, fussing over him like this? He notices the smudge of black makeup beneath your eye, and his heart tightens once more – this time with sadness rather than affection.

His hand reaches out to touch your cheek, and you’re shocked at the touch. “You’ve been crying?” He asks and you bow your head. 

"I thought you left..."

Mark wants to laugh at the irony. You asked him to leave, and yet here you are, upset at the idea of his departure. He swears if he weren't so in love with you, he'd rant about how much you mess with his head, pushing him to the edge only to pull him back again.

“Would never leave you, baby, you know that,” his voice is soft and comforting as the rough edge of his fingertips finds your jaw. 

You can't control it; tears fall freely from your eyes. He's being incredibly considerate and gentle with you, even after you acted like a bitch. Honestly, you almost wish he'd just yell at you instead. But he doesn’t, his eyes widen and he immediately sits up straight letting the blanket fall to the floor as he pulls you up to sit on his lap. 

He shushes you, his hands finding your waist where he rubs soothing soft circles into the fabric of your tank top, “Hey, why are you crying? I’m here…please don’t get upset, Y/N.”

His kindness only amplifies your guilt. 

"I'm so sorry," you stifle in short sobs, your voice almost cracking. "I should've talked to you about the job offer before signing the contract... I-I didn't mean to act so selfishly. I just... I wasn't thinking."

Mark gives you a half-smile as he runs a hand through your hair. "It's okay, baby... You got caught up in your dream. I'm sorry for not realising that. I'm the one being selfish by always expecting you to put me first."

"No—"

He interrupts you to continue his apology. "You were right, you know. I always expect you to wait for me while I'm on tour. I never considered it from the other side, with me waiting for you... But I will. I'll wait because I know how much this job means to you."

Your face buries itself in the crook of his neck as you cry even harder, and he tuts gently while rubbing your back.

"Please don’t cry, Y/N," he murmurs softly. "I hate seeing you upset."

"Can’t help it," you muffle. "I hate that I upset you…"

Mark pulls you away from his neck, needing to look into your eyes as he speaks. "It's normal for couples to argue, baby. We just need to promise to communicate better, okay?"

His fingers stroke your cheeks again, and you lean into his touch. The warmth of his hand feels so comforting as if he was made to soothe your skin, the only person capable of bringing you relief. You bite your lip and nod against his palm, because you're more than willing to work on your communication if it means never feeling like this again.

"Now, give me a smile. You know, the pretty one I like," he says with a laugh. "If I'm not going to see you for the next six months, I don’t want one of our last moments together to be so... sad."

You smile at him and press your forehead against his with a whisper. "Me neither.”

You’re so close to each other that you’re practically sharing the same breath, if you had said that two hours ago you wouldn’t have believed yourself. But here you are, lips so close that your heavy breathing practically begs him to kiss you.

Mark feels it too, so when he does, it's like the softness of his lips is a bandage, mending the angry tension between the two of you. It patches up the last few hours that have transpired, and when he pulls away, it feels as if nothing even happened.

His hands grip your hips firmly, his fingers pressing down as he guides your body to grind against his clothed crotch. His lips find yours again, accompanied by a groan that escapes into your mouth. It's only when you feel him harden beneath you that you remember he was half-naked on the sofa – clearly after you locked him out of the bedroom.

Suddenly feeling suffocated by your own clothes, you pull away from him to strip off your tank top, tossing it over your head before discarding it somewhere in the living room. You yearn to meet his lips again – the only place you truly feel safe – but Mark wants to savour the way you look. Your clothed cunt eagerly grinding against his hard-on, hips chasing a high so eagerly that your bra strap has slid loosely down your arm.

You're a vision, Mark thinks, one that has him salivating and desperate to fuck you. He almost curses at himself for nearly ruining it all, for nearly walking out on the most beautiful person on the planet, the best sex he's ever had – and not only that but also the funniest, sweetest person he knows he'll ever meet.

He leans into your neck, his nose nuzzling into you as he whispers softly, "I'm sorry... so sorry, Y/N." His hand leaves your hips to cup your breast over your bra, massaging the mound with just enough pressure to elicit soft moans from your lips.

“‘s okay,” you whimper. 

Your head falls back as his hand snakes around to unclasp it. He wastes no time brushing his intrusive fingers down your chest, wearing a filthy smirk because he knows just how sensitive you are there. The tip of his finger circles around your nipple until he’s right in the centre, feeling it harden under his touch. He pinches it, and you jolt forward on his cock, making his boxers tighten, and he groans.

He loves how responsive you were to him, watching you writhe over him as he touched you in torturous pleasure. Just the way you arch your back into his touch has pre-cum leaking out of his cock. 

He leans in this time, sucking on your nipple and opening wide to get as much of the tender tissue of your breast in his mouth as possible. He holds your waist in place to keep you grinding on him to entice enough friction for him to feel good too. 

And when he looks down to see where the two of you meet, he moans when he sees the wet patch leaking through your shorts onto his boxers. 

“Fuck, so wet for me, baby. Just for me.”

You whimper, and his hand slips into the hem of your shorts. You’re glad you never wear panties to bed because his fingers find your clit immediately, relieving you of some of the neediness you’ve been feeling from grinding down on him. He rubs small circles as his mouth licks and sucks and nips at your bud. 

“Mark…” 

“Shhh baby,” he coos, “wanna make it up to you. Please let me make it up to you, let me make you feel good.” 

You whimper with a nod of your head, humping into his hand, legs opening wider to give him easier access to the place you’re most sensitive. You let out mild pants, hips bucking more aggressively from the stimulation on both your nipple and clit.

And when Mark notices you getting close, he pulls off your tit to look up at your face. It’s his favourite part — watching your features contort when the bliss is at its highest. It makes his chest swell with pride knowing he’s the one making you cum, knowing his touch is enough to make you shake and moan. And if he wasn’t such a selfish lover, he’d think the sight is something everyone should see at least once.

As you come down from your orgasm, your eyes flutter open to meet him. Mark doesn’t know whether it’s from seeing your orgasm paired with the argument from earlier but he’s the hardest he’s ever been. 

You notice it too, looking down and giggling. “Now it’s my turn to make it up to you.” 

He lets out a soft huff, and a muscle in his jaw twitches with his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat before he nods. You free his cock from his boxers and shimmy yourself out of your shorts. You let out identical gasps when your bare cunt brushes against the tip of his cock. 

Slowly, you sink onto him, fully feeling him inside of you. Your head falls forward, your forehead resting against his shoulder as you take in the size of him, the way he fills you just right — the way he always does. 

The stretch as you take him in never gets old, eliciting the same whimpers and whines. You can feel his hands resting on your hips, then slipping to the bend of your waist, silently urging you to move as he presses you downwards.

You lift your hips, slow and steady as you let the sensations wash over you, drawing a low groan from deep in his chest. His grip on your body tightens as you sink back down, blunt nails digging into your skin. The sounds he makes only drive you further into finding a teasing rhythm because his voice is just so pretty. The sounds are soon muffled to your disappointment when his mouth presses into your skin, so his tongue can slide along the top of your breast — making the disappointment fade away real quick. 

You let out a breathy cry, hands rising from where they’ve been resting, flattening against his chest, to wrap around his shoulders. The slow pace you’d adopted was becoming not enough. And you could tell from the way Mark is rutting his hips up to meet you, he shares the same sentiment. 

Your mouths collide as you pick up the pace, using his shoulders to leverage yourself as you bounce up and down on his cock. When he breaks from the kiss, an unrestrained groan slips past his lips, low and rough, followed by another, and you have to bite back a whimper of your own.

Mark can’t help the noises, he just loves the way you swivel your hips in a way that makes him see stars. He loves watching you work yourself on him for pleasure – he loves when you ride him.

And right when you squeeze around him, he rewards you with a loud, obscene groan, a sound that makes you dizzy and limp. Everything about Mark is intoxicating and downright addicting, and you were in no hurry to kick that addiction. In fact, you craved more of it – needed more. 

You grab his hands and guide them across your body. He squeezes them at your hips, smoothing across your thighs, your stomach. His hands were everywhere, eyes dark and desperate, wordlessly begging for you to give him what he needed, the same thing he’d been kind enough to already give you. 

So you rock yourself forward, providing a new type of friction that makes you whine helplessly into his skin. Blunt nails mark into the plush of your thighs, a futile attempt at grounding himself. The upward thrust of his hips and the strained catch of his breath tells you that he's growing impatient. You know the pace was slow, but damn it, it felt so fucking good to feel him like this, every inch of him sliding into you, hitting all the spots that makes your brain stop working. It also felt like a sick little way to get revenge...

“Faster,” you hear him say. “Please baby, need it faster.”

You could feel his hips bucking up to meet you. Then his thumb finds your clit, working in circles and making you squeeze around him with a shrill, gasping cry. It was his attempt at bargaining with you, doing anything to make you speed up and shamelessly fuck yourself on his cock. Maybe if he pleases you, you’ll let him cum.

“Please fuck me properly baby, need it,” he rasps, “You want me to forgive you right?”

And then you remember what led you here in the first place. You’d upset him and now you’re teasing him – you suppose it’s only fair if you pick up the pace a little more, fuck him messily and desperately enough to have him dizzying towards his climax. 

And once you do, his thrusts grow sloppier, and your thighs start aching. It feels too fucking good so all that you can do is cling to him and let him take the lead, strong hands guiding you as he sucks against your neck. And even though you’re supposed to be the one making him cum, you find yourself buried in the crook of his neck, gasping as your walls clench and nails dig into the skin of his strong back. 

The slight stinging sensation is enough to work Mark over the edge, and you feel him twitch inside of you, sending shock waves up your spine as he fucks his cum inside of you with a final powerful thrust. You roll your hips to help him along, taking all you can get from him and he moans his appreciation as you do. 

You remain tangled up in one another as you come down from your respective highs with foreheads pressed close. You wrestle to find his hand, lacing your fingers with his as he rubs his thumb over your knuckles. He kisses your nose, then your lips, with a tenderness that makes your heart feel like it’s being squeezed. 

You don’t want to move just yet, so you release your hands and wrap them around his neck, nuzzling your nose against his before you speak.

"Mark?" You mumble, your voice tired and hazy. He hums in response.

"I’m sorry," you say softly.

You feel his smile against your mouth before he kisses your lips. "It’s okay, baby. I don’t even remember what we were fighting for."

[wolvietxt]

💭 thinking about… 

𝖼𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖻𝗎𝖼𝗄𝗒 𝗎𝗉 𝖺𝖿𝗍𝖾𝗋 𝖺 𝖿𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍!

pairing : bucky barnes x reader warnings : hurt / comfort but mostly hurt, angsty, tfatws!bucky, crying, a little bit of fluff wc : 1.2k

you told him not to do it. you’d seen that fire in his eyes, the way his jaw clenched when that guy had started talking, pushing bucky’s buttons like it was some kind of game. you’d warned him, quietly, to let it go, to walk away. but you knew bucky, knew that there was only so much he could take before he snapped.

and now, here he was, sitting on the edge of your bathtub, bruised and bloodied, staring down at his hands like he couldn’t believe what he’d done. his knuckles were split open, blood caked on his skin, and you could see the beginnings of a black eye forming. his chest was heaving, his breaths coming in short, sharp bursts, and you could tell he was still wound up, still riding the adrenaline high.

“bucky,” you say softly, your voice cutting through the thick silence that’s settled over the room. he doesn’t look at you, doesn’t even flinch. it’s like he’s somewhere else, lost in his own head, in the aftermath of the fight.

you sigh, grabbing the first aid kit from under the sink. you’re not mad at him, not really. you’re more worried than anything, worried about the way he shuts down after something like this, the way he retreats into himself. you know he feels like he’s constantly fighting a battle, not just with the people around him, but with himself. and you know how much it scares him, how much he hates that part of himself.

“let me see,” you murmur, kneeling in front of him and gently taking his hands in yours. his knuckles are raw, the skin torn and bleeding, and you can see the way his muscles are still trembling, the way he’s trying to keep it all together. you grab a clean cloth and dip it in warm water, carefully dabbing at the blood on his hands. he winces, but doesn’t pull away, just keeps his eyes fixed on a spot on the floor, like he can’t bear to look at you.

“you didn’t have to do this,” you say quietly, your voice filled with a mixture of concern and exasperation. “i told you it wasn’t worth it, that they weren’t worth it.”

“i couldn’t just let them… ” bucky starts, his voice hoarse, but he trails off, his jaw tightening as he struggles to find the words. you can see the frustration in his eyes, the way he’s wrestling with the guilt and anger inside him. “i couldn’t just let them talk to you like that. they had no right.”

you sigh, your heart aching for him. you know he’s just trying to protect you, trying to defend you in the only way he knows how. but you also know that every time he gets into a fight like this, it takes a little piece of him away, chips away at the man he’s trying so hard to be.

“i know, buck. but there were six guys,” you say gently, “but you don’t have to fight every battle for me. i can take care of myself, and i don’t want you getting hurt because of me.”

he finally looks at you then, his eyes filled with a mixture of pain and regret. “i’m sorry,” he murmurs, his voice barely above a whisper. “i didn’t want to…i just…i don’t know how to stop.”

you set the cloth aside and gently cup his face in your hands, your thumbs brushing against his cheekbones. his skin is warm under your touch, and you can feel the tension in his jaw, the way he’s holding himself so tightly, like he’s afraid to let go.

“it’s okay,” you say softly, your voice soothing. “it’s okay, bucky. i’m not mad at you. i just…i just want you to be okay. i don’t want you to keep hurting yourself like this.”

he closes his eyes, leaning into your touch, and you can feel some of the tension start to melt away. but there’s still that heaviness in him, that weight that he carries with him everywhere he goes. you wish you could take it from him, even just for a little while, but you know that’s not how it works. all you can do is be there for him, help him carry it when it gets too heavy.

“i’m sorry,” he repeats, his voice trembling. “i didn’t mean to worry you.”

“i know,” you reply, your voice soft. “i know you didn’t. but you don’t have to apologize, bucky. i’m here, okay? we’ll get through this, like we always do.”

you reach for the first aid kit again, pulling out some antiseptic and bandages. as you clean and bandage his wounds, he stays silent, his eyes focused on you, like he’s trying to memorise every detail of your face, like he’s afraid he might forget.

when you’re done, you gently take his hand in yours, pressing a soft kiss to his knuckles. “all done,” you say, offering him a small smile. “you’re gonna be okay.”

he doesn’t say anything, just pulls you into his arms, holding you close like he’s afraid to let go. you can feel the steady beat of his heart against your chest, the way his breath hitches slightly as he tries to keep it together.

“i don’t deserve you,” he whispers, his voice breaking. “you shouldn’t have to take care of me like this.”

you pull back slightly, just enough to look him in the eyes. “that’s not true,” you say firmly. “you deserve to be cared for, just like anyone else. and i’m here because i want to be, because i care about you. you’re not a burden, bucky. you’re never a burden.”

his eyes well up with tears, and you can see the way he’s struggling to hold them back. he’s always tried so hard to be strong, to be the protector, but you can see the cracks in his armour, the way he’s breaking down.

“it’s okay to let go,” you whisper, your hand gently stroking his cheek. “it’s okay to let someone else take care of you for a change. you don’t have to carry everything by yourself.”

and that’s all it takes. the dam finally breaks, and he lets out a choked sob, burying his face in your shoulder. you hold him tight, your fingers running through his hair as he cries, releasing all the pain and guilt he’s been holding onto for so long.

you don’t say anything, just let him cry, let him release everything he’s been keeping inside. and when the tears finally stop, when he’s too exhausted to cry anymore, you gently guide him to bed, pulling the covers up over both of you.

“i’m here,” you whisper as you wrap your arms around him, holding him close. “i’m not going anywhere.”

he doesn’t say anything, just buries his face in your neck, his arms wrapped tightly around you like you’re his lifeline. you can feel the way his body starts to relax, the way his breathing evens out as he finally starts to drift off to sleep.

and as you lay there, holding him close, you know that no matter what happens, no matter how many fights he gets into or how many times he tries to push you away, you’ll always be there to pick up the pieces, to take care of him when he can’t take care of himself. because that’s what love is - being there for each other, even when it’s hard, even when it hurts.

and you wouldn’t have it any other way.

[world-of-aus]

The Arrangement - Chapter 2

Pairing: Mobboss!Bucky x Reader

Chapter Warnings: Feels, Angsty Dialogue.

Author's Note: Any and all writing errors are my own. Chapter 2 is here and I hope it is portraying enough story for you all! I haven't done a series in a hot minute so I am trying to get my bearings and make this content enjoyable for all you that are excited for this. I hope this chapter is good for you all. As always Happy Readings.

“Sign here.” 

You look at the open spot next to Bucky’s name, his signature already signed and sealed. Flashes of your sister appear in your mind as you reach a shaky hand towards the awaiting pen. 

Were you really going to do this, could you stoop to your sisters level and just take what was right in front of you? 

Your signature glides across the paper signed and sealed, you’d blame it on the stars. 

There’s sincerity in Winnies eyes as she looks at the two of you, “it’s done, welcome to the family sweetheart, we’ll celebrate the two of you properly at the reception in a week’s time.” 

You manage to pull a smile on, albeit shaky as the room congratulates the two of you, his hand still resting on your lower back. Your dad must notice the uneasiness in your eyes, “it really was a pleasure to do business with you as always and we look forward to bringing two families together the day of the wedding,” he directs to the Barnes family, “y/n sweetheart are you ready to go,” he questions his eyes on you now “surely your mom is going stir crazy waiting for us to get back.” 

You snap out of your revere eyes zoning in on your father, your lips part to speak but Bucky beats you to it, “actually Mr. Y/l/n if it’s alright with you I’d like to take y/n out to lunch,” he pulls you closer into his side, “she and I have some catching up to do.” 

You did? 

You did. 

You can feel his eyes on you as you scan the menu, a menu you don’t even need to look over – you always managed to get the same thing every time you came here though it had been some time since the two of you had been here together. You can vividly remember when this was your place, it was quickly replaced by a newer, not so hole in the wall Diner that had become their place. 

It had been replaced just as quickly as you had. 

“Is this what’s become of us?” You bring the menu down slightly to meet his stormy cerulean eyes, brow raised in question he continues, “we’ve become strangers to one another.”  

You bring the menu down placing it upon the table, hands crossing above it, “Strangers,” you question “is that what you think we are? I was certain we were more.” 

“It’s what we’ve become. I don’t see you anymore, we don’t hang out, you’re not around, I feel like I barely know who you are, you’ve become a shell of my best friend.”  

And whose fault is that? 

Anger simmers in your chest as you look at the man before you, “you must forgive me,” you grit, “but like you, I have a job to do, I promised my father I’d live up to the family name just as you promised your father, and up until yesterday I’ve been helping my sister plan your wedding, every last detail, I’ve barely had time for myself so please give me some grace, there’s only so much of myself I can give.” 

Only so much hurt I can take. 

You catch the subtle shake of his head, “what happened to us?” 

My sister. 

“We grew up James.”  

You catch the tick in his jaw, “oh so it’s James now? I’m no longer Bucky, Buck, Bee.” 

You sigh shaking your head, “Bucky please.” 

“No y/n,  what happened to us, you can’t tell me nothing has changed its -” 

“You chose her,” you almost yell, “you chose my sister, I was all but discarded by you and your family without another thought the night you decided to end our contract because and I quote ‘I can’t do that to your sister’. You scoff, but he could do it to you, “Rebecca was the only one who cared what happened to me after you made it abundantly clear that it was my sister you loved. I was embarrassed,” you continue, “I was hurt, I thought I had everything I could ever want only to have it all torn away.” You tilt your head to the sky willing away the tears, you would shed no more for the man before you. “I needed time, and even that I couldn’t get because I was planning YOUR wedding to MY sister, a wedding that should have been mine. So forgive me for skipping out on our visits, family dinners, Diner hangouts, I just couldn’t Bucky, I couldn’t because every time I was reminded of what no longer was mine.” 

You didn’t think it possible to ever get the man before you speechless but you had managed. Your waitress pops in then a cheery smile on her lips as she asks the two of you if you’re ready to order. You meet her eyes rattling off your usual, you look back at Bucky who still seems frozen, “I’ll have the same thing.” he manages. Before she can skip away you say, “can we get this to go please.” 

“Of course doll, I’ll get it out in a jiffy, have your ticket out front!” 

You move to exit the side of the booth you took, the weight of what you got off your chest crushing you once more. Bucky’s reaching for you, there’s a pleading look in his eyes, “please don’t go, sit down, talk to me.” 

You shake your head, softly removing the hold he has on you, “I’ve said enough for one evening Bucky, I need time, please.” 

And he lets you go, just like he let you go that night, you don’t know what hurts more. 

He’s sat at his father’s old desk, the one that has become his since his old man passed. His eyes are trained on a single contract the one you thought had been discarded, his name and your name signed and sealed at the bottom, this one was much older though years in the making like the two of you. He remembers the night your parents took the two of you aside, sat you down and had the conversation with you.  

He thinks how the two of you then hadn’t hesitated to sign your names. He thought it was just two best friends doing a job, stepping up to the plate for their family.  

Had you really loved him that long? 

How could he have not seen it. 

There’s a soft knock on the office door, his mother enters slowly a tired smile on her lips. “My boy, what are you still doing up, it’s late.” 

“How long?” 

Winnifred looks at her son in question, “how long what James?” 

“How long did she love me for?” 

His mother lets out a quiet noise as she moves over to her son, her arm landing on his shoulder rubbing his clothed skin. “I think she’s loved you for longer than she even knows, there’s always been an adoration in her eyes for you, she’d have done just about anything for you.” 

Bucky shakes his head, “Why didn’t I see it, why couldn’t I tell?” 

Winnie laughs now, hand squeezing “oh my boy, you Barnes men are always a little slow.” He laughs but there’s no actual amusement behind it, “you let me discard this contract like nothing that night, why? Why didn’t you stop me?” 

His mother sighs, “we all saw how encompassed you had become with her sister, and while it gradually occurred, we all saw it, the one who saw it most was y/n. Before you came to us yourself, she had come to me first, she held me to a promise that should you ask for the contract to be reconsidered to please do so.” She smiles sadly, “she just wanted you to be happy, even if it wasn’t with her, but I know that night, she was hoping it would be.” 

“Why,” he breathes, “why didn’t you stop me?” 

“We believed this is what you wanted son.” 

He’s shaking his head more vigorously now, “I thought all this time she didn’t feel the same, I never saw the signs, I never -” he's like a lost boy meeting his mother's eyes for the first time, “what do I do ma?” 

“You do what you should have done then, choose her.” 

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[rafeshow]

where a fan made an 10 minute video with a compilation of hasan and reader being in love.

just for clicks

hasanabi x fem!streamer!reader

tags : hasan being a bit of an ass, tension, lingering touches, angst, use of y/n (scary ik), this is a blurb (I can’t make more parts if ppl want it), basically just angst, nothing really from the readers pov

a/n : i’m pretty sure you were looking for a more sappy direction w this request, but i rlly couldn’t help myself and i made it angsty 😭. also this is my first fanfic on this acc so pls be nice to me 🙏 im not good w english

It was a regular streaming day for Hasan, for the most part. His typical bogging on about politics, random internet drama, and his frequent frustration at chat. Behind all that though, his mind was a fog. You; another streamer, having been friends with Austin, being introduced to the Fear& group, and all but weaseling your way into being a staple member of the friend group, was all that Hasan could think about. Austin had tried to set the two of you up when you were first introduced to the friend group, but you never ended up going on any serious or planned romantic ventures, the two of yous schedules preventing from such.

That’s not to say you weren’t interested in eachother, it was quite the opposite actually. It was unspoken between the two of you, literally. Minus talking on the podcast or short interactions in videos, you had never spoken outside of ‘work’. That didnt stop the tension from growing though.

It started as accidental; Hasan gently grazing the back of your neck when walking behind your chair during filming in the cramped podcast room, his warm fingers barely lingering for a second on your bare neck, followed by rushed apology. Then it was you; lightly holding his waist as you attempted to squeeze behind him during a cooking stream, still unable to get past without his backside brushing against your front to a degree. And those two accidental touches wouldn’t have been a problem if they had just stayed those two accidental touches. The two of you managed to bump into eachother enough times that it had you each questioning if the other person was doing it on purpose.

Hasan was the first to break the ‘accidental’ rule, having grabbed your waist firmly and practically picking you up off the ground to move you on one occasion. You followed suit with the rule breaking, leaning across him to grab something from QT while filming the podcast and intentionally resting stretched for a moment; your top half shelved atop his forearm as it laid flat on the table.

The two of you refused to do anything about it though, and it was driving you both mad. Each touch was getting more daring then the last, and it was a game of who was going to break first. You were mad because you thought he was intentionally toying with you; knowing it drove you mad whilst not being interested himself. Just doing it to mess with you. Hasan on the other hand was just generally pissed you hadn’t done anything yet, which was ironic considering he didn’t have the gall to do anything himself either.

It was all that Hasan had been thinking of that day, and he questioned that if his facecam didn’t cut off at the top of his head that chat would be able to see the steam emanating from it. He was beyond frustrated, but he found it easy to play off; opting to take his anger out on the idiots who left comments on his livestream.

The two of you hadn’t thought about what your predicament looked like from an outsiders perspective though, not until now atleast.

Hasan was watching some political interview; mostly letting it play while opening links from chat in other tabs. As he opened one in particular, his heart stopped. He quickly clicked back to the tab, his brows taught together as he re-read the title.

“No fucking shot.” He forcibly laughed out, not only in disbelief himself but also trying to play his reaction down a bit for the stream. It was a compilation video, titled “y/n and hasan being down bad for 7 minutes”.

He was shocked he hadn’t thought about it, honestly. He was so concerned with keeping his feelings down while streaming by himself that he hadn’t even considered how he looked when he was actually with you. He clicked play without a second thought, his brain still registering the situation at hand. He had to stop himself from letting a grin slip out.

He watched the whole video without saying anything, which was alarming for chat and him. He was just entranced at how painfully obvious the two of you made it. The way he stared at you as you spoke to someone else. The way you never looked at him when he spoke to anybody. The way he stared at your hands as you fidgeted with a mic cord. The now obvious touches. He was baffled.

But his emotions quickly flipped back to his previous frustration. All that has been going on and you still hadn’t done anything? The two of you still hadn’t even talked? You had interacted this way long enough for somebody to make a 7 minute long compilation and the two of you still hadn’t done anything? He turned to chat, decided to take it out by being defensive.

“It’s actually hilarious the shit you idiots come up with. You do realize we’ve never talked right? The little shit we’ve said on camera is all we’ve ever said to eachother. Ever. I don’t even know her actual name. I don’t even have her in my contacts. I’ve never even thought about her in that way. You guys are so apt on shipping every male and female to ever interact together, it’s disgusting. You guys are fucking weird.” He took a beat, knowing the shit he was saying was doing anything but help his case, and knowing the hole he was digging for himself was just getting deeper. The few excuses he could come up with were borderline pathetic and certainly laughable. He just hoped he said his words fast enough that none of it stuck, even though he could practically feel the clips getting posted to twitter. In a last stitch effort to save himself, he blurted out;

“And anything she’s ever done around me is just for fucking clicks anyway.” He closed his mouth immediately after saying it. Hasan knew how much of a low blow that was, he knew how much he defended other streamers in the space for the same shit, and he couldn’t believe he’d just let that out about you of all people. He knew then in that moment that he’d lost all chances of anything with you, and he couldn’t grasp the fact that he was able to royally fuck himself over in a matter of seconds. He sat there silent, grumbling something else about chat being stupid, and then he went back to his political video.

He tried to keep a stone face, but he couldn’t help as his eyes caught chat every few minutes, mixes of shock and anger still bubbling between all of them. Hasan tried to redeem himself as much as he could; making some jokes and throwing some insults at whatever video he was watching. The main mass of the shocked comments eventually fizzled away, but he ultimately ended up wrapping up stream after another 30ish minutes. All he could do now was watch as everything unfolded before him.

[devine-fem]

y’know, i’ve been thinking and i really strongly believe that spideypool could be 100x better if people took the ship seriously. because wade idolizing a spiderman to the point where he would actually get better for him <- he has this small part of himself that wants to be a a better person but he can never accomplish that, whether it’s the narrative or his own insecurities that won’t allow him to so he chooses to get better for peter if he can’t do it for himself. i don’t know if their relationship would last due to wade’s commitment issues but peter being genuinely frustrated with wade but because he loves him and wants him to be better while wade genuinely not believing he’s good enough and thinking he’s only moments away from letting peter down and hating himself forever.

their contrast of “oooh, my whole existence is a joke so i throw responsibility out the window and play by my own rules because that’s where i feel less like shit about myself” vs “all i am is responsibility, if i can’t be that, i don’t know who i am” could be fuel for some really interesting conversations between the two. i wish i saw them arguing, frustrated and angsty in fan content more

i also strongly believe that peter is almost if not just as crazy as wade but just shows it differently. like did we forget the whole arc where peter loses himself and wade helps him recover?

[rainychaoloveshack]

Can you do Boom!Sonic x reader with an angsty scenario? Maybe Sonic says something about the reader and they take it the wrong way which leads to internal conflict? Canonically in the boom universe he tends to be rather cocky and says things that come out wrong. Thank you so much, please take care of yourself.

ﾟ ⋆ ﾟ ☂︎ ⋆ ﾟ 𝐀𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐫𝐲? 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐝𝐠𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐠.

sonic’s arrogant behavior is becoming too much to bear.

synopsis. boom!sonic x gn!reader, light angst, sonic thinks he's too cool for help... (he doesn't wanna admit he's worried for you)

☂︎ wc. 1k ☂︎ a/n. im so sorry this took so long anon!!! ;( i had to do some of my own research for his character. i went through a small writing stump while writing this one. if you'd like a rewrite, just let me know! might just end up doing one anyway...

likes, reblogs, and especially comments are extremely appreciated!!!

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┊    ┊⋆     ┊   .

┊    ┊       ⋆˚              

✧. ┊         

⋆｡˚ 🌨 ˚｡⋆｡🌩˚☽˚｡⋆ 

☂︎

“It’s just Egghead back up to his schemes again. His robots have been popping up around town more often.” Sonic stretched his arms up high, taking in the golden-hour sunshine cast on the two of you. “It’ll be way too easy to just knock him down a peg!”

You copy his movement, grinning at the thought of going on another adventure with Sonic, despite going on one with him yesterday and having to get patched up a bit because of it by Amy. It happens so often, but you really can’t seem to get enough of it, letting the sunshine almost blind you as you turn your head to Sonic, feeling the warmth cast on every part of your body.

Shame that Eggman’s up to his dumb plans. If he wasn’t, maybe you and Sonic could’ve relaxed at the beach together, cuddled up on a beach towel while you two sipped on some coconut milk. Pity.

Sonic notices you mimicking him, and a grin spreads wide onto his face. “Oh look, I’ve got myself my very own mini-me, huh?” 

If you could hush him up right now, you would. But you shake your head and stick your tongue out teasingly, rolling your eyes over at him. No wonder Eggman’s always out to get him, this annoying little idiot. But it’d be best if you both got a move on now before it gets too dark.

Sonic’s smile falters at you bringing up Eggman’s name, causing his body to tense up ever so slightly.

“... Yeah, come on.” Sonic beckons you over, but it’s not hard to notice the lack of energy in his voice, so suddenly at that. You open your mouth to ask about it, but shut it rather quickly. Would asking him that make him feel more uneasy? You’d rather not find out, so you walk towards him, and continue on. 

Sonic starts at a fast-paced jog, but slows down almost instantly, his ear twitching with uncertainty. You stop a bit away from him, noticing the sudden shift in demeanor.

“Hey, uh, [Name].” Sonic says softly, looking at you from over his shoulder. “How about I handle this one by myself, yeah?”

… What? You tilt your head at his proposition, clearly confused. Who else could he go with right now? Everyone else is busy, running errands in their daily lives, or fixing their own issues, and since it’s just you and Sonic here, why not? What gives?

“I don’t want you to-” Sonic scowls, shaking his head at his blabbering words, before backtracking. “I got it. I can handle this easy-peasy, so… You can just stay here, okay?”

What the hell is he talking about? Well, you understand it, at least the smallest bit. You’re hurt, but it's not as though you can’t fight. A gash in your arm will do you no harm in combat.

Sonic sees the dissatisfaction on your face, and shifts onto one leg, stretching it out before switching to the other one.

"You-" He starts, but changes his words rather quickly. “I don’t want you to slow me down.” He mutters, smoothing out his quills behind him as he taps the tip of his shoe onto the ground in a rhythm that drives you crazy. “‘Think I’ll do just fine on my own.”

What?

You scowl, crossing your arms and tilting your head at him. How much longer is he going to do this act of his? It’s all an act, you know it is.

“Act?” Sonic glares at you for a couple of beats, the silence ringing out between you two only disturbed by the swaying of palm trees, and the waves of water hitting the glittering shore in the sunset. He seemed offended at your accusation, tensing his muscles as his ear twitched downward, an irritated expression reflected on him. “What kind of act are you talking about? I can’t worry about my friend anymore, huh?”

What? Does he think you’re too weak? Pathetic? Does he think you need to be handheld every second of every hour? Coddled?

You grit your teeth, almost with enough strength to bite your tongue off if you really wanted to, brows furrowing as you glare at him. You’re so sick of his antics. Sick of that cocky attitude of his. It sucks, it sucks, it sucks.

Why can’t he drop his pride and that little ‘cool’ act of his for even a second? It’s so infuriating. It makes you sick.

His eyes meet yours, and you can almost see his demeanor falter for a moment right before his body tenses up, and his ears flick down, a growl growing upon his lips. “I mean it.” He snaps. “You’ll see just how fast I get it done without you lagging behind me the whole time. I don’t need you anyway…”

Is that so? You turn on your heel, rage fuelling every step you take on the hot sand as you try to get as far away from him as possible, the thought of even being around him making you nauseous within the moment.

“Huh?” Sonic says softly, clearly surprised as he tries to gather his thoughts quickly enough to form a sentence. “[Name].” Sonic says, remorse lacing his voice, but you don’t want to hear it. Not at all. 

He takes a few steps towards you, reaching out to your wrist as his fingers wrap around it. “[Name], c’mon, wa-”

With a fair bit of rough force, you tug your hand away from him, smacking his gloved hand away as you keep your stride going, refusing even to take a glimpse his way.

You leave Sonic standing there, left to fidget with the brown bandana set around his neck in impatience, tapping his foot repeatedly on the ground anxiously. Despite his irritation, he still has the words still bubbling inside his throat, threatening to come out.

“[Name],” Sonic says under his breath, even if he knows that you’re already far gone. Too far away to hear him.

“I’m sorry, [Name].”

[anadiasmount]

is this real? - jude bellingham x reader.

quick sum: breakup, attempt of a makeup. but you're not here to play around, wanting security, but it doesn't help when jude can't find out what he really wants. is your love really worth the shot?

wc: 2.7 k | masterlist | jude's masterlist

psa 🗣️: hi! i'm back this is kinda angsty and kinda meh :( i still hope you enjoy and like tho! also I will be starting a small jude series in the upcoming weeks, which I'm super excited about! in the mean time here is this :)

“Hi, buddy. Hi! How’s my big baby?” you say in a gentle voice to the German shepherd who couldn't stop licking your face in excitement, his tail wagging and almost crying. It was a month since you had seen Duke, and it was safe to say he missed you as well. He was a birthday gift from Jude about a year ago, since you had asked for one, and Jude wanted a guard dog when he wasn't home. 

You remember the day vividly since it was during the summer, a few weeks before his season ended, and you had the opportunity to travel with Duke around the holidays you took. Duke was a momma's boy, he wouldn’t ever leave your side no matter what. If Jude was here he would acknowledge him but he refused to leave your side. Duke was the biggest and softest sweetheart, he was so friendly and always so happy, so you wondered how he was after you and Jude split. 

Duke came into your embrace and let you hold him for a good five minutes before you got up and made sure he had his breakfast. You practised a few tricks and rewarded him with treats after. He continued to follow you around as you picked up your suitcases and took them upstairs. He tilted his head to the side confused before he whined and touched your leg, “I'm not going anywhere buddy, at least not yet,” you leaned down and kissed his head. He ran up the stairs and watched as you ragged up the three suitcases. 

Duke layed on the carpet as you went into the closet and began to retrieve your jeans and leggings from the drawer, along with your other skirts and shorts you had. Those all barely fit into one suitcase, having to lay on top of it in order to close it. One task was done but you still had to retrieve the other parts of your stuff. You wanted to make sure no trace of you was left behind. Wanting to leave a blank new canvas for Jude’s life. 

After putting that suitcase in your car, you walked back upstairs and started to take your shirts from the hangers. You never realised just how much clothes you had. Any of the shirts or dresses Jude had gifted you, you set them aside in a different pile in a box labelled “do whatever you want” for Jude to decide. You were being petty but you didn't care, you didn't want anything to do with him anymore, all the jewellery and stuff he gave you went into that box, including that damn promise ring…

“Y/n we need to talk…” Jude sighed, he shifted towards you as you sat on the park bench overlooking the small lake. “What's up? Is everything okay?” you ask, your full attention towards him. Jude covered his face, his breathing becoming uneasy as well as his heart. He wanted to avoid it but when you saw his state, the goosebumps appearing, you knew what he was about to do… it was a sign and you felt it.

“I-I-I wanna break up,” he stuttered, avoiding how you stared shocked with wide eyes at him. You let out a small gasp as tears brimmed your eyes, “But why? Have I done something?” you say shaky. You had the urge to reach over and comfort him, wipe his tears away, and reassure him you were here for him, but now you could just stare at him. Stare at his bloodshot eyes, his eyes completely dark and uneasy. 

“You haven't done a single thing, baby, I have to do this… I'm moving away and I just can’t do long distance, knowing that I'm holding you back. I also want to focus on myself and my career, I can’t let this move go to waste, it's a dream and an opportunity…”

Your gaze averted to the white swans in front of you, watching as they cuddled into each other, and swam away. You said nothing, having difficulty processing his words. It seemed like he made up his mind, and you always said you wouldn't hold him back… but now all you wanted to do was fight for your relationship. Fight for him. “Say something…” Jude said, watching intently as your bottom lip trembled. 

You sniffled and wiped your nose and tears away as you stood up. “What’s there to say… you’ve made up your mind. I’ll just go along with it” You smiled and shrugged upset, turning around and beginning to walk away from him. You heard as Jude shuffled around, and jogged towards you. “Wait wait wait, what do you mean? You have to say something, Y/n!”

“No, I don’t. All I can say is I hope it goes well with you Jude, that you have the best season ever in Madrid… And no, you would’ve not held me back… I know what I want, but now it looks like you're not a part of it,” you avoided his pleading eyes. Your gaze returned back to the white swans who now drifted away from each other. “Don't do this Y/n…” Jude begged, grabbing your chin gently, facing you to him where he had tears running down his face.

“Don’t make this harder than it already is, Jude. I’ll miss you but I won’t beg for you to stay, hold you back like you say. I’ll respect your decision…” Jude just stared at the girl who he loves to walk away. Jude cursed at himself, jogging to you because he made a mistake, a regret. But it was too late because you quickly disappeared. 

The first few days were rough, you avoided any light or noise, just staring out at the wall in front of you. But you grew angry at yourself and the world. Jude had left you, and everything inside you felt broken. You couldn't shake away the tears anytime you saw him pop into your head. Jude was a constant reminder he would always be there. 

For Jude it was worse, he showed up to training late, spoke only to his brother and mom who grew concerned, and even lost his spot in the starting eleven for their last game. Jude was devastated and without you there, he couldn't piece his life together. Jude wouldn't sleep, especially now that your sweet scent was gone from his pillow and sheets. If someone had asked Jude if this was where he would have been a year ago he would have laughed at their face.  

Jude had come back from a last meeting with his club, he was exhausted and only wanted to sleep. But he was taken back when he saw the house spotless, and it was strange that Duke didn't greet him at the door. But he smelled that sweet scent again, lingering all over the living room and kitchen, were you here?

Jude tried and tried to contact you, asking how you were or what you were doing, but there wasn't any sign of you. He would just watch your stories when you'd post but it looked like you were always with someone… He was beginning to grow frustrated, why couldn't you respond back to him? 

Jude walked up the stairs, seeing the bedroom door you once shared open. He looked around the room and saw different clothes piled everywhere. “No no, this can’t be happening..” Jude said out loud causing you to get startled. You avoided his gaze and whispered a small ‘shit, fuck’. You weren’t expecting him to come so soon home, or was it that you were here for more than you intended to be? Jude’s eyes directed to you, who was standing there looking effortlessly elegant and beautiful, his Y/n…

“I've set all the clothes and stuff you’ve given me in this box… you can do what you please with them, I don’t want it…” you say in a soft tone, cutting the silence from the room. Jude shook his head, still trying to process everything, “This can't be real… There is no way this is happening right now… This is just a dream right.” Jude paced back and forth, a hand on his forehead as he nervously chuckled.

Why was it so difficult to process what you were doing? Why was the image of you packing causing an ache in his chest? Why did it feel like you were packing away every memory and throwing it away? You were packing your stuff away and Jude knew it would be the last time he saw or heard of you. “Jude… Calm down…” you say, just watching as he sits on the bed in denial. “This day was bound to come… We have to move on, you know?” 

“It’ll be okay Jude-”

“No, it won’t. I can’t move on knowing that I still love you and the fact you're here packing everything away is hurting me, Y/n…” Jude stressed, just wanting to feel your comfort, your hands relaxing his tense body and whispering that you would stay. “Jude you broke up with me. I'm giving you space to figure yourself out but you can’t hold onto hope one day things will change. This is what you wanted, no?” you said, testing the waters. 

Jude went silent, unsure of what to say. He wanted to blurt out to stay, to not leave, that he loves you, but he had trouble doing so. Duke stood and came to your side, going between your legs and sitting, he was protecting you, Duke sensed you were feeling sad and recognized you felt like crying. “No, this wasn't what I wanted… I thought if I did what I did, it would benefit both of us but for me, it isn't… Fuck I can’t even drink my coffee without thinking of you there!”

Jude stood up, his height intimidated you as he towered over you, and you became shy and nervous. “I can’t sleep knowing the pain I caused for both of us or the fact your scent isn't in my sheets anymore… I can’t go and pass by the park we visit because it reminds me of you. I can’t help the fact I lost my best friend and girlfriend at the same time because I thought I was doing the right thing in protecting our hearts… Or it's the fact I refuse to let you go because I love you still.”

“Protect us from what exactly? Jude, I thought we were doing fine! We discussed how our relationship would work once you moved to Madrid. I have a year left of uni, graduating early so I can start my career early because that has always been my plan. You wouldn't hold me back from anything, I knew what I was getting myself into when I started dating you… If you had these doubts we could've talked it out, maybe save ourselves from all this!”

“I was scared you would lose interest and get tired of all the back and forth. Scared you would get unhappy knowing that the long distance would affect us both. I wouldn't know how you felt, and you drifting away, us growing apart, I didn't want that,” Jude insists, his hand connecting with your jaw and running his thumb along your cheek. You leaned into his touch, relishing the feeling, and fluttered your eyes closed, a sense of safety and home. 

“In a relationship, there’s stuff we need to sacrifice to make it work, and I was willing to do that because I love you. I want to see you succeed Jude, after all these years, the hard work, and dedication, you deserve this. Which is why I think it's best if we leave things as it is… We’re so used to and wrapped around each other we-”

“No no no, please-”

“You don't know what you want Jude! You pick and decide and live life as it goes! And I can't put myself through that because look at you now, you first claiming you couldn't do long distance and now saying we could work it out. What if two months in you realise it wasn't what you wanted? Are you becoming unhappy and breaking up once again? I refuse to be put through that, be treated like a test or lab rat just for your self-satisfaction. I also deserve to be happy,” you state, frustrated wiping your tears away and stepping back from him. 

Jude knew you were right, he hated it because it meant that now his biggest nightmare was becoming true. You were done, you were just done, you’d be willing to move on. Jude knew you for who you were, a girl who would listen and observe and not comment, but when you talked you spoke to let the message be clear and heard. So hearing this from you was quite humbling. He didn't know what he wanted, he was confused. 

“You’ll meet new people in Spain, this is just the beginning of something exciting and yet scary. Try it out Jude enjoy it, because this depends on how your future will be, around the people you're surrounded with… You never know, you may just find yourself where you should be… And I will always be here for you like I have, but right now it's better if we just focus on ourselves…” you say frowning, your palms sliding against each other to soothe your nerves. 

Jude just let out a breath and cried, his shoulders shaking and lips trembling which caused you to tear up knowing what you said was hurting him. But in all honestly it was the truth, “Come here,” you said, Jude didn't hold back and wrapped his arms around you, his head hiding in the crook of your neck as he let himself be completely vulnerable, holding you tight so he could relish the moment forever. Duke whined and laid his head on your legs, confused. 

Four months later here you were in England, mostly busy at Uni and an internship you managed to get after getting a referral. Duke and you enjoy walks in the morning and sometimes evening, going to dog parks to clear your head. You hate to say it but the breakup had taken a huge toll on you, you refused to admit it though. It was hard to lose the only person who had been there from day one. 

Jude was thriving in Spain, quickly fitting into the team and contributing to many goals and some assists. Best and youngest player, with many nominees to awards, It looked like he was doing better and happy, but you wouldn't know since your messages became less and less through those four months. You hated feeling a bit angry, jealous, and frustrated because he was doing better than you. 

But that would vanish because, at the end of the day, his happiness was yours as well. Even though you were miles apart, there was always something that brought the two of you together, which was Duke. You relished the good memories with Jude and cried to sleep because it wouldn't happen soon again. But a moment of honesty, you had to move on and not hold onto hope he would come back and chase you.

You learned to live with the fact but it was still hard to process. Maybe in another lifetime, you could have what you did with Jude, but for now, you were okay. It might be hard, but if something is worth fighting for, then it will occur, they just needed and required a huge miracle. You might have lost Jude but it meant you could learn from that and become a stronger person. 

Having been invited to an art gallery and museum, you got ready for the evening. Had the patience to complete a perfect blowout, and do your makeup. You also had the chance to wear your new black dress that fit perfectly for the evening. “How do I look Duke?” his head propped up and barked, which made you giggle. 

You turned to face the mirror for one last look, fixing your necklace, hiding the J initial that was still there, and spraying your favourite perfume. Your doorbell rang, and a few knocks were heard as you approached the door. Unbeknownst to you, Jude was on the other side. You opened the door to reveal him. “Jude!” you gasped, Duke coming to your side and shaking his tail when he saw Jude. Jude’s eyes roamed your body, his mouth slightly agape feeling breathless.

“I was hoping we could talk. Can I come in?”

[junrenjun]

Catharsis

omega!jeonghan x beta!reader (part of ot13 x reader understand series)

genre: angsty i guess? fluff too

wc: 1.2k (short and sweet)

warnings: fem reader, implied member x member, hannie is sad, mention of injuries

summary: sometimes jeonghan needs a little reminder that it's okay to take care of himself too.

a/n: i've been wanting to write a jeonghan installment forever. i feel like this really didn't do his and mc's relationship justice, but i hope it is enough for now. i did have an anon send me this idea, so shoutout to that anon.

Jeonghan was…apprehensive about you joining the pack. Not because he didn’t like you. No, you were everything he could possibly ask for. But he’s nothing if not an attention whore and he’s already sharing with 12 other packmates. Another one would surely do him in.

He stands corrected though. Especially right now, when you’re giving your best attempt at nesting for him. He’s fresh home from the hospital after his ankle surgery and everything hurts. Obviously his ankle but also his heart. All he wants right now is to make a nice big nest and share it with his pack. But they’re in Japan and he’s in Korea. And he can’t even walk. He couldn’t be more useless as a pack omega right now.

At least your nest making is a bit of a distraction in the meantime. It’s haphazard and rushed, but it’s clear you are trying your best. It makes Jeonghan laugh because it reminds him of the first nest he ever tried to make as a freshly presented omega. 

You might not have the omega nesting instinct to help you out, but you do have the beta calming instinct guiding you. It’s cute, the way you fuss over where to put each item, sniffing them lightly to test the scent.

Your cuteness doesn’t distract him for long though, because soon he’s reminded once again that he left the rest of his pack in a foreign country to finish out a tour without a pack alpha, beta, or omega. He doesn’t even realize he’s crying until he lets out a sniffle.

The sound has you whipping around, abandoning your nest building with Seungkwan’s jacket still in your hands. You urge him into the nest gently and he tries his best to not disturb your hard work. Once he’s settled, you raise a hand to wipe his tears away. 

“I abandoned my pack,” he cries into your shoulder. 

You attempt to shush him again, but it only makes the sobs worse. “No you didn't, Hannie. You had to come home for this surgery and they know that. They’ll be okay for now.”

While your words were meant to soothe, it only makes his mind race more. “But what if Vernon eats something with peanuts in it?” he asks.

“He has an epipen there,” you respond. You can tell he’s starting to spiral because he just keeps asking questions. You do your best to fend them off. 

“Who is going to watch him and Seungkwan when their cycles hit?”

“There’s literally 9 other pack members there to do that.”

“What if Jihoon has an episode?”

“We have FaceTime for a reason.” “What if taking care of everyone is too much for Joshua?”

“Wonwoo will help him.”

“What if…”

You cut him off. “Can you stop worrying about them for 5 seconds and worry about yourself for once?”

Jeonghan snaps his mouth shut. You regret your words instantly, because his scent goes infinitely sour. You scrunch your nose in response. “I don’t want to worry about myself,” he whispers. 

You take a deep breath. His scent is mixed with frustration and hurt and it makes your heart ache. At least he’s being vulnerable with you. It’s a start. 

“I’m sorry you have to be away from them right now Jeonghan. But you’ve taught them how to take care of themselves, just like any good pack omega,” you tell him.

You can see the distress in his eyes as he searches for his next words. “I just…feel like I’m letting them down.” You cuddle yourself further into his side, reaching to rub your wrist against his. 

“You aren’t,” you tell him firmly. “They want what’s best for you right?” 

He nods in response and you take it as a sign to continue. “Right now you’re injured, and what’s best for you is to be here with me and Cheol, okay? You’re not doing this alone.”

His tears have started to subside and you let him take a few minutes to compose himself. Once he does, you instinctively run your wrist over his neck, spreading your scent over his to neutralize the distressed smell. He sinks further into the nest and you take his relaxation as a sign that he’s okay. “Are you hungry?” you ask. “I told Cheol I would grab him some food once you were settled in.”

“A little bit,” he murmurs. It may not be an honest answer, but it’s better than a refusal. 

“Okay” you tell him. “I’m just going to be out for a few minutes. I should be back soon. Text Cheol if you need something.” You press a kiss to his forehead and try your best to not ruin the nest as you scoot out. 

He watches as you go and has a hard time tearing his eyes off the open doorway once you are out of sight. What did he do to deserve you? When he finally does look away, his gaze lands on the picture frame sitting on his bedside table. It’s a somewhat recent picture. One you made them take in a professional studio right before they left for tour. Matching clothes and everything. You had done it thinking you would be home without them most of the time, not knowing two of the boys would join you months later. 

He reaches for the picture, grabbing it to get a closer look. Wonwoo looks funny without his glasses. Seokmin’s smile is wide as usual, reaching all the way up to his eyes. Vernon has his arm slung over Seungkwan’s shoulder, unsurprisingly. Jun’s hair is parted unevenly and Jeonghan remembers his concerned reaction when the photographer showed them the final product. Everyone looks happy. Trying to cherish these memories for as long as possible, he pulls the frame to his chest, hugging it lightly. He doesn’t even realize how tired he is and, eventually, lets sleep take him. 

He wakes up a half hour later to you gently pulling the picture frame from his arms. “Don’t want this to break,” you whisper to him. He lets you grab it and pushes himself further up in the bed. That’s when he notices the bag on the table where you carefully put the photo back. 

“You got food from the cafe?” he asks, eyes already brimming with tears. 

You look up at him hesitantly. “Oh, yeah. Is that okay? It seems to be a comfort meal for most of us now.”

He’s immediately grabbing the bag from the table, answering your question without saying anything. When he looks inside, it’s full of only his favorites. “It’s weird that you know me better than I know myself,” he mumbles loud enough for you to hear. 

You smile fondly at him. “That’s because you take care of everyone else before you take care of yourself. Now eat.”

The first bite is heavenly. And while it doesn’t make him forget that half of his heart is all the way in Japan right now, it does remind him that he’s got a piece of it here with him.

[kuromochimi]

omg okay i saw ur requests are open so… how would bl boys react if their spouse got pregnant? can u make it angsty if you can plz😝 i like hurting myself

• MINORS DNI • MINORS DNI • MINORS DNI •

oh this plot fits our career driven boys soooo much (reo’s is his gf since I didn’t notice the spouse part from the request while I was writing his part)

Content warnings: angst, talks of pregnancy and abortion, a bit ooc bc these boys are toxic here, characters are aged up! Not proof read

Mikage Reo

Standing in front of reo had never felt as anxiety inducing as it did right now. He was your safe space, someone you’d run to whenever you felt uneasy and for the most part, he never failed to give you the comfort you needed. He was gentle, patient, and reassuring. That was… until you handed him a positive pregnancy test. As shaken as you were, reo’s world was also spiraling as he stared at the two pink lines shown on the test. Positive. He got you pregnant and right as he was at his prime as a new football player.

“No” was all he mamaged to say. “No? Reo you- you can’t just say no” you were sobbing, thinking of how you’d have to stop your studies and how you were going to have tell your parents. “I just… yn I can’t handle a baby right now. And my parents. Fuck, my parents are-“ his hands in his hair, tugging lightly in frustration. You wanted to get mad at him and scream and push him but all you could manage to do was look at him in shock. How is he the same person who cuddled you every night and bought your flowers just because. The same person who had you in his future plans and promised to marry you as soon as you both had stable careers. Amidst reo’s sweet reputation in your heart and mind, you often forgot that he was also as career driven as he was in love. Reo had already disappointed his parents once when he chose to play sports instead of working at their family’s company. Now he’s made it to a place where they can at least commend him for his choice. He can’t risk another disappointment. His parents didn’t even know he had a girlfriend.

Finding out you were pregnant, your initial response was fear which later changed to calmness because you were so sure of reo. You were so sure that he wouldn’t leave you hanging. Maybe you shouldn’t have been so hopeful after all.

Itoshi Rin

Your relationship with rin isn’t what people think it is. Sure you were married. Sure lots of his fans adored you as well. But behind the scenes, the marriage was arranged by his parents. That said, rin was never hostile. The relationship was civil, it was peaceful even. He did his thing and you did yours.

Later on in the marriage, you both decided that since you guys were married anyway, it wouldn’t hurt to add a couple more benefits along with having each other’s (quiet and to some extent, comfortable) company. Sleeping together became a regular occurrence and without meaning to, that led to you getting pregnant, something which rin had never planned on and something he definitely won’t be happy about. You weren’t happy about it either. Not when you didn’t exactly have a healthy family to give the baby to be. Acting fast, you scrambled to your laptop to schedule yourself for an appointment to get a check up and most probably to get rid of the pregnancy. Unfortunately, in panic, you left your pregnancy test on the bathroom counter. Something that rin was welcomed with once he got home. It didn’t help that you left your laptop in the bedroom for him to see your scheduled appointments as well.

Thinking you could get by without letting rin know, you decided to act normal upon seeing him enter the kitchen. You were preparing dinner when he walked in. After smiling at him and greeting him to acknowledge his presence, you went back to dinner prep. This confused rin. Were you not going to tell him? Was the test maybe not yours? Were you fucking with him? “Really yn? Don’t you have anything to say?” “hm? what do you mean, rin? Did you want something else for dinner?” He annoyingly nodded “you’re pregnant?” This made you freeze, dropping the knife on the floor, barely missing your foot. For a second, a flash of concern hit rin’s eyes but that might as well have been your imagination. “It’s a yes then” you gave a barely there nod. “Rin I was going to tell you. I also just found out I’m sorry” he nodded again “You were going to tell me? Sure. Not like you already had an appointment with the clinic, no?” Your face lost all its color. You weren’t even sure why he was acting so annoyed. Every time your parents or his parents nudged you two to give them grandchildren, rin would always act annoyed and irritable the moment you get home. He also repeatedly expressed his refusal to have children, especially not when his career was booming. Having a wife was one thing but a child? Entirely different. He didn’t have to invest so much when it came to you. He just has to be respectful, be someone to satisfy your needs sometimes, maybe even go on a few dates here and there. Easy. But he wasn’t a monster so having a child would take up so much of his time, something he couldn’t afford to give. Was what he always said. So why was he so mad at your for just taking one step ahead? “I thought you didn’t want to have a baby, why are you mad?” You semi-shouted. “Maybe I didn’t but you can’t just decide to get rid of it on your own. That’s messed up” “okay but stop raising your voice rin, you’re scaring me. You always tell me you don’t want a baby with me so I just assumed” “Know what? Considering you seem to want to get rid of it so quick, then yeah sure, I don’t want that baby. You have my card, use it for the hospital bill or call me if you need me to be there. You probably won’t though, right?”

a/n: I suck at writing angst but here’s an attempt o(TヘTo)

[lady-ashfade]

A Love Watered By Blood

Part one.

Enemies to lovers- Percy Jackson x Fem!Reader.

-£ Plot: No matter how much the two tried peace was never a option. Always insults, and never compliments. it was the middle of the school year, and a new adventure started. Could they be civil when the time comes. Or will the war between them get in the way.

-£words: 3k words.

-£Previous // Next (coming soon)

-£Warning: Fighting, Cursing, Blood, Death, Seeing horrible things, Angsty, happy ending, slow updates, New god, Percy being rude, enemies to lovers, New plot, Slight slow burn

“So,” the trio looked at the restaurant that glowed yellow, a old dinner style with big windows. it screamed 80s movie scene. they could smell the freshly made food coming from inside the diner, making their mouths water.

“This is the best day of my life.” Percy smirked as he looked into the window for the girl they had been searching for. the two beside him just looked at each other with a knowing look, that this was going to be a long couple of weeks.

“Percy,” Grover spoke and leaned his arm on his shorter friend, “don’t be rude. we need her to come along with us and we can’t stand you both fighting this whole trip.” annabeth nodded along and rubbed her forehead thinking of how the two argued often at every chance they got.

Percy looked between the two of his friends and rolled his eyes, “I’m not mean. She’s just rude and I have to defend myself, come on.” He pointed to the dinner, “How can she of all people be a waitress? She has the shortest temper.” they ignored him and walked passed him and into the diner. he let out a groan and followed behind them but his smirk returned quickly.

once they sat at a booth they waited for you to come out or see you. your mother said you were working here tonight. another girl was across from them on the other side helping a elderly couple. “she’s probably in the back.” Grover looked at the kitchen door waiting for you to pop out. annabeth looked at the menu to pass the time, plus she was hungry.

things were quite for a few minutes, them sometimes glancingaround. they couldn’t be patient even if their lives depended on it. Grover was getting hunger by the second that he could almost eat the counter underneath his hands. anything really.

they heard shouting from the kitchen and then the door swing open, a girl stepped out with a old waitress style outfit and her hair pushed out of her face. the group looked and found the girl they had come to see.

percy smirked and got too proud of himself when he spotted you, knowing you would hate him being here. when you looked over to see them your face dropped and your body froze for a minute, then you rolled your eyes and got out your notebook and marched towards them.

they see you throw on the fakest smile and suck your teeth before speaking, “Welcome to The Country Diner, what can I get started for you today?” the fake preppy voice made their ears scratch. you hated how he was looking at you. that same wide smile made you want to grab his neck and wait till he stops breathing.

“Oh, look at that! Our waitress is here,” percy cleared his voice and grabbed his menu, “I really just love that outfit, don’t you guys?” the two glared at him. annabeth kicked him under the table and gave him a warning look.

of course, percy didn’t judge against waitress because his mother was once on. but he knew that you’d never wanted to be caught wearing the outfit.

“y/n, it’s so good to see you.” You look at the satyr you’ve known for a long time. his hair grown longer and bushier, and his face more grown and facial hair started to grow. “hello Grover.” that was genuine. You nodded to annebeth before looking down at the notepad.

“Tell me what you want.”

“We want you to come along with us on a new quest.” she saw your eyes perk up and take a minute to register. huffing you look around you, the other girl who worked with was now out of sight and no manager around.

“And, why me? There is already three of you.” you raised a brow. the three looked at each other wondering who was going to tell you. grover shifted in his seat and slapped his hands on his legs.

“We need you on this quest,” you look at him with your head titled.

“Look, I can’t really take any quests at the moment. I have this test that effects half of my grade, I have money to make-” your voice was cutter off by the satyr. “It’s about your father!” His voice loud and made the couple on the other side turn their heads at the shouting.

shifting your weight you sit on the empty spot in the booth, and unfortunately it was next to Percy but you didn’t care at the moment. “my father would have said something.”

“he wasn’t allowed. you know how he is, I mean you must have felt something?” your eyes found the table as your thoughts brought up the memories of the past few days. your dreams were more vague and darker then normal, each night you saw at least three different people in hard problem. and each night you woke up drench in sweat and tears. you saw everything from their eyes.

he looked at you and at how you were deep in thought, making his theory correct. “what have you been seeing?” You shifted uncomfortably in the booth. looking to the side you check for any of the workers in case. sighing you open up,

“it’s been getting worse, I have at least five a night.” annabeth and grover nod while percy looks confused at what you are saying, he never listened to you or asked.

“then you know somethings wrong,” he leaned forward and placed his hands on the table. “The Episkopos has been stolen.”

they watch you freeze again and your eyes start to glare, mind running. “when?” You ask. Annabeth perked up and took over the conversation from Grover.

“A week ago.” You nod your head and place your hand on the edge of the table and slide out from the table. Percy’s eyes glares in confusion, “Where are you going?” looking back at him you give him a death stare.

“You think I want to go on a quest in this outfit? Or without anything?” Crossing your eyes. “Not all of us want to look like they put no effort in.”

“Clearly, I mean look at you.” he snapped back.

Grover sat up quietly and took you by the shoulders before you had the chance tackle him. And you have before. Pulling you to the side he hears you mumbling angrily and fight back against his hold. Once he gets to the end of the counter Grover lets you go and carefully, but ready to hold you if he needs to again.

“We need to leave soon. You know how powerful your fathers mirror is, I’m afraid of what someone might do with it.” The look in his eyes brought you back to reality. you hum and relax you tensed body. “If they are smart enough to use it.” You shrug at the thought of the thief. you pat his shoulder and give him a small smile before walking away to the kitchen door and wondering how in the hell you’re going to get out of working.

“So remind me, what exactly do you “see” when you sleep?” percys asks out loud as his fingers trace the posters on the wall. “you being wiped from experience.” the girl smirks as she places some clothes in a book bag. the boy laughed sarcastically and looks back at her.

“That’s funny, I’d like to say the same thing but you don’t even exist in mine.”

their friends sit on the bed watching the two throw insults knowing that this was what the whole trip would be like. “Can we just stop fighting? You two are so annoying.” annabeth looks at a magazine in her hands bored. “It would save a lot of time.” The satyr agrees with his friend.

“She started it this time.” Percy pointed his finger and then turn his head back around to snoop around your things.

“If you must know, beach boy, I’ve been seeing many things. Oh yes, like death of loved ones, some receiving horrible news, or maybe you want to hear of how I watch someone take their final breaths from their own eyes?” the girl faked beaming with happiness as she put on a happy face. maybe that was mean but he was asking for it. she didn’t want to talk about the things she was cursed in seeing.

the boy turned fully with all the sarcasm and sass leaving his body as he leaned against the dresser. “sorry.” the girl replied with a huffed and continued to stuff her bag full of stuff. a few bills she had been saving under her mattress and anything she thought she’d need.

now Percy hated her to the ends of the earth. everything about her made him annoyed. her breathing. the way she’d tease him. how she looked. how her voice sounded. no one hated her more then him. but seeing all that- he’d never wish that on her or anyone, not even the worst monster.

the room around them looks like a slight punk. posters of bands all over the walls, a few messy clothes laying around and jewelry spread around. a big mirror hung above the dresser with pictures stuck to it, mostly taken in camp.

“okay, after that lovely piece of information we should talk about what we should do.” Grover clapped his hands together once more and looked at each of them.

“The oracle says to go to the temple of the unknown,” Percy steps closer and looked at y/n. “Do you know?”

“It’s called the temple of the unknown for a reason.” She taunted him again and zipped up the bag.

“Well, as his daughter I thought you would know.” He stepped closer to her direction.

“Do you know everything about your dad?” she asked and waits for a moment. he goes to answer but he stops himself because he didn’t. “Exactly.”

the boy when to fight with her but he only made noises and then backed off with his hands flying in the air. he couldn’t do this, she was too much. y/n smiled softly in victory and threw the black bag over her shoulders, “I think I might know something but I’m not for sure..”

the three are now looking at her, “Even when I’m dreaming I knew exactly where I am. The last place I saw was a park in Minnesota, but every place i saw was almost like a road map. I think we should follow it.”

they look at each other to conform. they nod and stay up, “at least we have a plan.”

and it was a really shitty plan.

you stayed in that small town because of the waste of mortals. or in the diner that smelled of food that over powered your scent. now three demi gods and a satyr traveled together, a death wish just waiting to happen.

being a demigod always makes things so much harder.

The group didn’t even make it half way across the state without being attacked by a monster. and usually you could handle it but you had walked into a town filled with them. a nest of some sort.

you had to relay on fleeing and try not to get seen, and for annabeth it was easy. however, you and Percy found it hard when he kept bumping into you. you whispered at him to stop a little too loud, and he glared and whispered(yell) back. and they could only tell you both to stop a few times because you both could you guys caught.

“What is your problem?” Percy yelled at you after you guys finally got away, having to fight some monster and all of you getting a few scratches.and bruises. “Me? What about you. How clumsy can you be to run into me ten times? is your scull just filled with water?” You flicked his head and he hissed in slight pain.

“because you kept stopping for no reason, I had no choice. it was your fault we got caught.” his fingers pointed at you.

“Me? you are the one who squealed when you stumbled back, that was one hundred percent your fault.”

his mouth handing open as his eyes went up and his face turned angrily amused. “sometimes I can’t believe how stupid you sound sometimes. do tell, who trip and made us almost get eaten?”

you had been running away and your foot bent slightly and causing you to slipped, you put your hands out to try and stop yourself. percy was the closest one to you so he helped you up and made sure to get you in front of him in case that happened again. no matter how much he wanted to leave you. he wasn’t that kind of person.

“okay, really? it wasn’t my fault the ground was slippery. we would have more time if you hadn’t-” the yelling of the two drowned out to Grover as he covers his ears and blocked them out.

can’t they just say quite for a day?

“It’s both your faults! both of you did things wrong, and your yelling isn’t helping.” the boy shouted and pulled them both apart.

“please, just shut up! If you don’t have anything nice to say then not speak.” the two looked at him surprised. he didn’t usually do this but only when he got really angry or annoyed.

y/n looked away and kicked a rock on the ground, “sorry.” She mumbled quietly. percy did the same thing, “whatever.” he walked away from them both to cool himself off. he didn’t understand how she could always mess up and get under his skin, it’s like she was made just to annoy him.

after that the group barely spoke to each other. they traveled for a few hours until sundown and looked for a place to stay. luckily, they found a old house that was newly abandoned. when they set up the sleeping area y/n walked out, saying she would keep a eye out for any monsters. they all could see how shut off she was being and how clearly upset she was. and in this situation it was easy to let her be.

Annebeth was curled in the corner with her hands clinging to her dagger. Grover was spread out with his arm spread across his face slightly snoring.

percy tried to sleep.

he toasted and turned but there was something plaguing his mind that kept him awake. how you clung to his arm when he pulled you up. you looked so afraid as the monster nipped at your feet almost getting you, that you had no choice but to ask for help. he’s ever seen you so scared and for some reason, all he could see was the fear in your face when he blinked.

“don’t be a idiot, I’d never ask you for help.” he could hear the words ring in his head if he told you.

pushing the shirt thrown over him to the side he carefully stood up without waking the other two. he walked out the room and went to search for you. if he wasn’t going to get any sleep he might as well help with the lookout.

he found you sitting on the steps with your head leaned against the railing. humming a soft tune to yourself and for a second, he felt peaceful. but he remembered that it was you. cleaning his throat to make his presence know and walked across the porch boards.

turning your head you looked at him. it was a soft look of hate and not the full glare he was expecting. “what do you want?” He sat down on the same step away from you but as far as he could. almost afraid you’d bite him.

“couldn’t sleep.”

you hum in response and slight nod your head. you continued to look at the street and around the place in case something was to sneak up on you. a breath leaves your lungs and you lean back on your hands, pushing yourself back against the stairs above you. you throw you head back up and close your eyes to relax for just a minute.

“you know,” you began as his ears perked up. “I have no clue where the hell we are going.” You admitted with little confidence in yourself.

“it could just all be a trick and I’m leading us down the wrong path. but each time I feel-” you cut yourself off before you go to deep.

percy looked at you with your eyes closed. this was a actual conversation. no insults. he didn’t even feel angry as he stood next to you. for the first time it was a comfortable understanding.

“i know how you feel. when I search for the lighting bolt I knew exactly where I was in my dreams dispute never going to those places.”

he watched your eyes open again and look into his. “sometimes we are shown things. i trust you, for this quest at least. you’re the only one who could help us get there now.” you face grows and small smirk and your eyebrows raise.

tilting your head and sit up slight, “that almost sounds like a compliment.” you teased him. he rolled his eyes playfully and looked away from you, “never in a million years.” he chucked. you looked at him for a second longer then you normally do. this was the first time you saw him smile with you, it was new.

and kinda pretty.

shaking your head at the thought you looked away from him and let the thoughts get pushed back into your head. there was nothing pleasing about him and your brain needed to remember that. your both just to tired to fight and it means nothing. because never in a million years, will you ever be friends with Percy Jackson.

but, maybe you can get along with him for this quest at least.

Taglist: @american-idiot21 @kazurami14 @anonymouslyawesome25 @itzmeme @poemfreak306 @motorsport @mxlI0d1 @daughterofthemoons-stuff (just ask to be added and I will)

[dylan729]

house self injury scene

okay when i watch “detox” a few scenes stand out but one scene always hits so hard.

for one thing, whenever i see nssi (non suicidal self injury, im deliberately not saying self harm because of the connotations which is a big part of this) on tv i hate the way its portrayed. cry for help, teenage angst, sobbing, always teenage girls.

anotjer thing, i get chronic migraines. when theyve gotten really bad i have burned myself to cope with the pain. so the scene that gets me is when he smashes his hand.

house isn’t really the type of character you wanna say you relate to (although i do a lot) but that scene is so important to me. injuring yourself to cope with pain is something that people who don’t experience this just can’t understand, and ive never seen a show that represents that. its a very real part of chronic pain and considering how much of nssi portrayal is angsty teenage girls (which is valid ofc) its so refreshing to see a middle aged man doing it

the other thing is the visuals of that scene. my god. the way he smashes his hand. the crazed smile. the way he throws his head back. it was almost eerie the first time i watched it, because i just saw myself. the way i would throw my head back after pressing the match to my leg. that same smile.

the desperate pain that leads to more pain being the only solution. ive felt alone in this bc i never see it, and its shameful tbh. but in that scene i see that moment where the pain turns to relief and it’s everything to me honestly

[velocesainz]

Reconciliation

(LN04)

F1 masterlist | Main masterlist | Taglist

A/n: Here is the requested part 2! Also please send me your ideas, I’m in writers block.

Summary: read part 1 here. After a nearly marriage breaking argument and y/n walking out on Lando, he is determined to get her back at any cost.

Warnings: kinda angsty, suggestive at the end, slight fluff

Pairing: Lando x ceo!wife!reader

Lando pov:

What have I done? I just lost my unborn child and my wife in the span of a few months.

I tried to call her so many times but she refused to pick up. I went to all her estates and apartments in and around London but couldn’t find her.

I even called her parents and they said they hadn’t seen her and also expressed their dissent with me, which I totally understand.

I shouldn’t have said that to her. I knew how much the baby meant to her and I know she still is trying her best to work and handle her company.

No matter what happens or what it takes, I will get her back.

Y/n pov:

After that argument with Lando I called an Uber to my apartment in Greater London to find some peace.

He didn’t know of this apartment of mine so there was no chance he could find me.

I knew he would try and get me back as soon as he realised his mistake but I need space. What he said was vile.

I threw myself into the company work and officially came back as the CEO of l/n industries as I had taken a break for the baby.

Timeskip (6 months):

I was at my desk looking at some contracts when my door burst open to reveal the man that had shattered me a few months ago, Lando Norris.

But how did he get in? I had him blacklisted and all the security personnel knew not to let him in. My train of thought was broken as he spoke.

“Y/n baby, please hear me out! I can’t live without you. These past 6 months have been absolute hell. I love you so much and I realised almost immediately that I shouldn’t have said that. I miss you so much please forgive me, take me back into your life” he croaked out desperately

Hearing the desperation in his voice I couldn’t help but feel bad. I too missed him dearly, he was a part of my life since childhood.

I think I was finally ready to forgive him for his words after 6 months.

“Lando, I miss you too. What you said was heinous but I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. I love you too, I’ll come back only on one condition however” I replied

“Anything baby, whatever you want in the world” he immediately said

“I want you to be my personal assistant for the month. I just fired mine and I don’t have anyone at the e moment to hire” I told him.

His look of worry immediately turned into one of joy and he ran towards me and hugged me tight

“You have no idea how happy I am to have you back in my life. The last few months were so miserable for me you don’t even know” Lando whispered into my neck.

Finally my family was back. We had overcome one of the biggest hurdles we would ever face. We definitely belonged with each other.

Timeskip:

We got back home after I finished up my work at the office, it felt good to be back home.

Lando came up behind and helped me take off my coat and started kissing my neck, god did I miss his touch.

He took me to our bedroom and took off my clothing one by one.

“We’re not gonna stop until you have another baby growing in that pretty little body of yours love.” He said huskily.

Boy was this going to be a long night.

A/n: my apologies if this was too short, I didn’t really know what else to add here. Let me know your thoughts on this fic and also send me your requests. Kissies ✨

[spasmsofthought]

you fell hard, I thought good riddance (j.s. x reader)

An angsty thing inspired by “Best” by Gracie Abrams. (I wrote this at work cause I had the free time and couldn’t help myself.) Let me know what you think! (Probably some inaccuracies, especially if you squint - my step-dad may have done a career in the Navy, but I did and will not lol.) Wrote this all at once, so please have grace for any spelling or grammar mistakes. xo 

Next

https://open.spotify.com/track/5HO2RD12vZ5NcIdAULo43M?si=0ce82485daa44829

+++

Jake knows what he did. 

While not at the forefront of his mind, it weighs on the deepest part of his consciousness and he’s reminded of what he did in what feels like the most random moments. 

When he’s swallowing the last drops of beer in the bottle that’s pressed to his mouth. Or when he’s standing on the beach as the waves are softly rolling against the shore and it’s quiet. Or when he ends up on the couch watching crappy television at 3 a.m. because his flashbacks are keeping him awake and the moment his eyes close, he feels like he’s startled awake because a brightly-colored ad is flashing on the TV screen. 

He sees you every once and a while, he thinks. Whether it’s when he’s tipsy at The Hard Deck and sees someone turn the corner who looks just enough like you from the back. Someone can laugh just the right way down the hall when he’s in the office at work and he has to do a double-take to make sure it’s not you that’s laughing. 

He’s never actually, though, confronted with your physical presence until he finds himself at a joint military exercise in European waters and you are on the same carrier. He’s walking into the cafeteria after a morning of training exercises and immediately zeroes in on you. Once he’s aware of you, he can’t look away. 

It takes a moment for your senses to catch on. (To be fair, the cafeteria is not really known to be an oasis of peace. It’s loud and busy. You’re sitting with friends anyhow.) Your eyes flit to the area where he’s making his way in and he can tell the moment your mind makes sense of what you’re seeing. You glance at him for one long moment, and then you turn towards your friends and stay that way until you all leave. The only thing that has changed about your demeanor is the frown that settles on your expression throughout the rest of your meal. 

He thinks you look even better now than you did back then. 

He thinks he took you by surprise. That you’ve gotten so used to not seeing him around on your deployments and where you’re stationed that you didn’t think you would need to brace yourself on this go around. 

Jake knows what he did and he feels terrible. He didn’t then, but he does now.

Seeing you in actual flesh and blood makes him remember. 

He remembers your utter devotion during your brief time together. 

He remembers that the first time he approached you, he made you laugh. The kind of laughter that leaves a person gasping for air and makes their eyes water. You fell hook, line, and sinker. He remembers the way you would try to make time and space for him whenever you could, despite how busy you were trying to progress in your career. He remembers how he didn’t do the same. 

He remembers that on your off days, you would come over and stay the nights. He remembers the smell of you when you would climb into bed next to him after showering. And when he couldn’t sleep, when his mind was churning and taking him back to things he just wanted to forget, you would sit next to him on the couch at 3 a.m. as he turned the television on. When he closed his eyes, he knows you were the one to turn to TV screen off so he didn’t wake up. He remembers how you would kiss him: sweet and complete and open, always moving in step with him. 

He remembers how wholehearted you were when you were with him. Giving your whole self, all the time. 

Even when he would say sharp, caustic words that would make tears form in your eyes, even when he shut his bedroom door so he wouldn’t feel responsible for making you cry, you stayed. 

He remembers the way you stayed. 

And he remembers how his half-hearted attempts, quarter-hearted attempts really, to draw you back in eventually ran you dry. You were willing to do so much, and he wasn’t really willing to do anything. He was young, but he knows that’s not an excuse now. 

He remembers the light in your eyes changing. He remembers the way you stopped coming over. He remembers the way you didn’t have the courage to tell him you wanted to leave. 

He remembers that you held onto him until the bitter end. 

He knows you won’t talk to him. Every time you see him on the carrier, you make a point to avoid him or walk the other way. He knows you probably resent him (there’s a reason he can’t find you on any social media platforms). He understands why you don’t seem to want anything to do with him. 

So, he investigates. He does what he knows how to do best: he talks and charms and weasels his way through the crowds of people on the carrier. Making his way from one group to another, day and night, Jake gleans for information and eventually finds what he needs. He knows your bunkmate’s name now (and their shift and their position, and even where they like to hang out and what time they prefer to go to the gym). 

You may never read it, he knows. You may can it or tear it up and throw it out into the ocean. You may even wait until you can set it on fire and watch it burn. 

But he knows he has to try. 

So when he finds your bunkmate, he hands them a piece of paper and tells them it’s for you. It’s small and doesn’t take up much room. Your bunkmate only nods, a look of confusion passing over their face. He says it’s important that it be delivered to you. Those are his only instructions. 

If he had the opportunity to talk to you in person, he might have the chance to elongate. To say more, be more. But he might not ever get the chance to do that, so he’s going to take what he can get. 

You pass your bunkmate between shifts: you’re just getting back for some sleep, and they’re heading out. They say there’s a piece of paper you need to read on your pillow. Hand-delivered, they say the instructions were. No follow-up is required. You wait until they leave. Until you’re left alone. 

You open up the folded-up piece of paper. 

This is what it says: 

I’m sorry. You deserved better. 

[dizzy-after-dark]

Cauterized | Steve Rogers

BOOM MIC DROP: SMUT FOR THE END OF THE YEAR! Y'all didn't think I would not post once this year, did you. Well, here it is. I TRIED! Mwah; see you in 2024!

Tags: Angst (not really but yeah), SMUT, fluff

Pairing: Nomad!Steve Rogers x F!Reader (Third Person)

Notes: UHHHHH 18+ BUCKOS; this is a continuation of Ignorant, which is the first part and angsty as FUCK but a personal fave of mine if I do say so myself; been really thinking about finishing my requests from over a year ago for Dinner At Dizzy's on my other account, @dizzydancingdreamer (masterlist linked if you're feeling peckish)

Warnings (what to expect, ig): oral (f recieving), fingering, sex (???), uhhhm lack of descriptive writing from a rusty author, sappiness, swearing, bad metaphors, shower sex, alcohol consumption (BARELY), size kink, over-use of the word "Stevie"

Word Count: 4.6k

She pushes the door closed, turning the shower on lazily. Her muscles ache as she twists the knob all the way to the left. Somewhere, sometime she was told about cauterization. You can seal wounds closed with fire— forcibly fuse the skin back together. She has no cuts. Nothing to fuse. And only hot water. However, maybe stepping into the scalding stream might fix the part of her brain that keeps replaying it all, over and over. 

Baby I— 

If anything, it might numb her. She would take that too right now. Hence the bottle on the counter, partially drunk and already open. She takes the first swig, the liquid like fuel to the inferno raging in her stomach, burning the rest of her in the process. The taste is acrid— she’s never been much of a drinker. She just wants to forget it all. Setting it down with a clunk, she strips out of grimey shirt, letting it puddle at her feet. 

Looking at the material, which at one point was a stark white but will now forever be a dingy gray, she laughs. Not really but, yeah, kind of— one of those half amused huffs, anyway. A pity laugh, for the state of her life. That shirt is practically trash. Even if she had the time, energy, or resources to wash it, there’s no way it’ll ever be the same. 

She should just throw it out. 

Is she even talking about the shirt anymore?

She kicks it into the corner, hands falling to the button of her jeans, swollen knuckles screaming as she fails a few times to push the little metal circle through the loop.

“Goddamnit,” she mutters to herself, and to the ghosts, and the spider she saw in the corner when she came in but didn’t have the heart to make the latter as well. 

She’s already made too many ghosts. 

“I, uh, I can help?”

None of those ghosts have ever answered before, though. 

Whirling around, fists balling in front of her face, she readies herself in less than a breaths time to send said ghost straight back to the grave—

“Woah, easy there, baby—”

Only to find Steve, his baby blues wide and a tad panicked but his hand nevertheless peeking through the crack of the door, reaching for her. Mind glazing over with confusion and, well, a fair bit of something russian and label-less, she blinks up at him and the damn door. She closed that— she remembers closing it… right? 

Her eyes flick down and the fire in her belly kindles a little more. 

“Are you kidding me?” She groans, the exhaustion an unwelcome guest in the cavern of her chest.  

His boot, right there in the doorway, holding the measly wooden traitor open. She never heard the damn click. Didn’t even bother to listen for it. Rookie mistake, honestly. She can’t even be mad, really. 

“Please just let me help.” Steve pushes past the door, both arms now extended towards her, but he doesn’t touch her yet. 

He’s waiting. She stays silent. Partly because she has no idea what to say— or what she wants— and partly because he hates it. He absolutely, agonizingly hates when she gives him the silent treatment. She watches his jaw tick, lips pressing together until they go white, and there’s a sick part of her that relishes in the cool satisfaction rushing down her spine. 

You made me like this.

But there’s also a part of her that mourns with him when he clears his throat, crystal eyes flooding over, liquid and glassy, and lowers his arms slightly. Not all the way. He’s hopeful, maybe. America’s sweetheart is always hopeful, that’s one of the things she fell in love with him for. 

That’s still Steve— her Steve. 

“I know—” Steve swallows, “I messed up. I just— you’re hurt, baby. Lemme’ help.”  

She huffs— why is it so fucking complicated? Why can’t they just be normal?

She is hurt. Nothing needs cauterizing but there’s no denying her mottled skin, blue-ish under the crappy motel bathroom lights. Her hands throb, joints screaming at her— when she turns to the mirror, she almost gags at the slight bald patch behind her right ear— fuck, that one had really stung. Absolutely ridiculous the way some people fight these days. 

Her silence is deafening. 

She wants to sob. It’s right there, in the hollow of her throat— she wants to scream. Maybe not at him but in general. She used to live in a penthouse, with all her friends, and the love of her life. Now what? She used to get hurt like this back then too but now it feels purposeless— what are they even doing this for if they have nothing. Have no one. It made sense when she still had him. 

Meeting his gaze in the mirror— disappearing a bit into fogged up glass but there regardless— she still has him. Kind of. But she still doesn’t say anything when she turns back to face him. The frown carved into her face feels vile— deep and disgusting and entirely real— but she can’t make it go away. She can’t stop the sniffle, either. Why can’t she just tell him she misses him?

“Fuck.” 

It’s mumbled under his breath. The Captain America, standing in some rundown wreck of a place off some lonely highway, is swearing. Because of her. Is this hell? It feels like hell. 

But, no, it can’t be, because his hands are so, so gentle as they cup her cheeks, thumbs softly dancing over the bruises, half assessing, half trying. Trying to do what, she doesn’t know. Wipe them away? Commit them to memory? She leans into his touch regardless, conceding ever so slightly. She won’t say it, but he can help. There isn’t a universe in which she would truly deny him. 

The first tear that falls isn’t hers, but his, landing on her forehead right before he buries his face in her hair, wrapping those supersoldier arms around her, trying and, well, failing not to crush her in the process. The tenderness in her broken body is worth it, though, because he smells like home, even if tinged with gunpowder and war. 

“I am so sorry—” he whispers, heartbeat erratic under her ear, chest heaving for breath— “I am so sorry I brought this on you. You’re hurt and it’s my fault.”  

Complicated. She fists his t-shirt as hard as she can— fists in until her hands go numb. It’s not fair how complicated it has to be for them. 

Steve didn’t throw her into the fight, didn’t slam his fist into her eye, or rip her hair out by the handful. Steve didn’t even make her come with him when he left; that was entirely her choice. But he did lose his mind a little bit. Power tripped a little too hard. Focused so much on keeping them all safe that he missed the part where he was just supposed to hug her— and that’s what sucked most— but he is now, right?

That has to count for something? 

He pulls back and her fingers tighten, steeling, tensing. He can’t go, even if she isn’t sure what they are anymore. 

The agony in his eyes when he draws the line from her balled fists holding on for dear fucking life to her own, misty gaze is indescribable. “Baby I don’t know how to fix this. I want to, I—” he clears his throat again and her frown carves even further into her skin, eyebrows drawing together— “I want to so fucking bad.”

He plants his forehead against hers and it aches, the warmth of his skin. “I don’t want to make it worse. I need you to tell me how to help.” 

There’s a stinging in her throat where the words simply don’t manifest. What the fuck is she supposed to say? Nothing, at all, really, because she doesn’t even know how to fix her and she’s not mad so there’s nothing to fix… but isn’t there? Isn’t there something between them that desperately needs mending? Isn’t she mad? 

Is it anger? 

Or is it something much more primal. 

No, there are no words she can tell him. She could show him, though. Maybe that will work.

Letting his shirt go, she watches the breath catch in his chest, stuck and frantic. She knows that feeling well— that icy desperation to keep holding on no matter what. But she’s only grabbing his hands, not leaving him, and he’ll see that soon so she continues to drag him towards the stupid, little button that her useless fingers couldn’t seem to undo. In hindsight, maybe they were just waiting for him. 

Realizing, his forehead is off hers quickly, eyes seeking hers. “What? I don’t—” She flattens his palms against her stomach, engulfing the button, and he breathes the last word out— “understand.” 

Her brows raise, cheeks still on fire but now also burning— yes you do. 

“Are you sure?” He asks but there’s a little click— the same one she hadn’t heard earlier— as his boot clad foot kicks the door properly shut, and she’s pretty sure he knows just how sure she is.

All it takes is her thumbs on his, prodding them towards her arch nemesis— damn you, Levi jeans— and the soldier is moving, not rough in his quick actions, but determined. The button is no match for Steve Rogers on a regular day, but today? Now that he has a goal? A starting place? The button may as well have disintegrated under his fingers. 

Her own hands fly to his shoulders, clinging to him as he tugs the blasted jeans off her legs, trying the best she can not to topple over with the sheer force of him. Material pooling at her feet, his palms smooth so slowly back up her now bare legs, rising goosebumps in their wake. She hasn’t been touched in ages— she feels kind of like an animal waking up from hibernation, disorientated and hungry. 

Grabbing at her hips suddenly, her ass is on the cool countertop before she even has the chance to get dizzy. Spreading her thighs with his own, he works on her bra next— this faded, hole ridden thing that if she wasn’t so engulfed in searing, licking desire, she’d probably be embarrassed about. But it’s gone so soon that she doesn’t have a chance and replaced instead with two, bulky hands that entirely engulf her breasts. 

They squeeze her skillfully— with purpose. Thumbs swiping delicious circles around her nipples, flicking this way and that, exactly how he knows she likes it— exactly the way that should have her as a mewling heap in his hold. But she’s not— she’s contained, even as her very skin thrums alive with anticipation. Is this revenge or is it just fucking complicated?

She can’t decide so instead she bites the moan clawing at her throat into small enough pieces to swallow, all the while tuning into something dark that sparks in his ever watchful gaze. 

She’s caught— he gets it now. 

“Really, baby?” He muses, palming her, squeezing just hard enough to give the touch a slight bite. His tone has her feeling like a deer in his headlights— like a freight train is barrelling directly at her and there’s nowhere to go— and she squeezes her thighs around him, welcoming the collision. “You think I won’t work for it?” 

She only blinks at him. Once… twice… 

Her panties are dropped somewhere into the abyss, long forgotten with the rest of her clothes, and his knees thud heavily against the tiled floor. Replacing his body, his head now hovers right in front of a different button, golden hair tickling her sensitive skin as he pulls her legs over his thick shoulders. His skin is warm but not as much as his balmy breath which hits her clit, teasing her into a mess, hands curling around the edge of the counter. 

Come on, Steve. 

But, no, he doesn’t give in to her just yet. First, he turns to her inner thigh, sucking her skin into his mouth with bruising pressure before letting it go with a pop. He peers up— nothing. Moving to the other one, he whispers quick kisses over her sex but never lingers, only biting into her flesh once more once across her mound, teeth almost teasing a whimper from her this time but no, she’s not budging. 

That doesn’t mean he isn’t driving her crazy. Inside, she screams— she craves. C’mon baby just give it to me. Outwardly, her hands drunkenly find his hair, tugging at his soft locks. Now, now, now she chants furiously.

He unseals his lips from her thigh, peering up, less dangerous and back to being her ever hopeful boyfriend— is her her boyf— He kisses her folds, spongy lips lingering a moment, rendering her blank and feverish. Angelic— he’s angelic. From under his long lashes he all but begs her, his dark eyes starving and wanting, but his hands are so soft on her hips, massaging deep into her. It’s this mixture of puppy dog pleading and a knowing of sorts— he knows she’s going to cave eventually.

How does he do that? 

“Words? Please?”

She only pouts and, again, the switch flips. “Fine.”

The word is punctuated with the warm, wet stripe he licks up her center, flicking his tongue languidly over her clit. For as rushed as he’d started this mission, he’s truly never been one to speed through his meals, preferring instead to devour her slowly— expertly— tasting her thoroughly like he has all the time in the world. Meanwhile her body pulses, teetering dangerously already on the knife-sharp edge of too much and too little as he masterfully carves her out. 

Her hands, which had moments ago tried to pull him closer, now use his hair as handles to keep herself from toppling off the counter when he slides her closer to him, burying his face fully into her heat. Heels digging into his back, she watches the spot where his shirt rides up intently, consumed not only by the harsh sucking on her clit but also the tanned, muscled skin peeking out and then disappearing below his own jeans, taunting her. Why hadn’t she taken it off him first? 

She doesn’t have time to think much more about it though because he’s ravenous and she may as well be ice cream, sweet and sticky, melting all over him, dripping down the sides of his face and fingers as they begin prodding against her. They tease, pushing into her but not quite far enough— hard enough.  

His gaze on her is overpowering— it’s deliberate. 

“Y’know,” he speaks against her, the vibrations making her tense, “you can just tell me what you want ‘and I'll do it.”

Her mouth is like sandpaper— her brain, uncooperative. This push and pull is becoming lethal, the next few pokes of his tongue honey slow and spine jolting. Please— she wants to beg. She’s so empty. So, so, achingly empty. Would his fingers even be enough? At this point, it’s as though he would need to crawl into her very chest to fill her up the way she needs to be. How could her words even convey something so needy? 

“Anything, baby. Whatever you want.” 

They can’t, so they don’t, but for the sounds she refuses to make, he doubles in his own, moaning his frustrations right against her. If he can’t make her say anything, he damn sure is going to make her do something. That’s probably why he finally caves, pushing his fingers in to the hilt, and she was stupid to think they couldn’t fill her, the slight burn of them not at all foreign but definitely intense. 

As they bury themselves in her over and over and over again, she bucks against his hand, chasing the start of a little ball of electricity growing in the pit of her stomach, getting higher and higher with every twist of his fingers. Combined with the incessant flick of his tongue— she’s a goner. Stifling the moan, her teeth find home in her lip, biting so hard her mouth gains a slight tang that excites her even more. What’s she even doing? 

Wouldn’t it be more fun if she just let loose? Isn’t that what’s been missing the whole time? The fun? 

When she sees the glint in his piercing stare— impish despite everything they’ve been through— she gets it. It’s hopeless— she is and they are but they’re together and the fun isn’t gone— she’s done. He earned it.

“Stevie—”  she finally cries, animalistic; it doesn’t sound like his name but he must know it is because, even with the intense throbbing consuming her entire body, she can feel his shoulders soften under her thighs— “please don’t stop, I’m so close!”

“That’s it baby,” he coos against her clit, voice raw, compliant as he continues to pump his fingers in time to her squirming, “that’s my girl. I missed that pretty voice of yours.” 

At what point the first orgasm turns into a second, she isn’t sure. It’s all one big blur of her whiny moans, wanton and liquid body, and his hushed prayers against her flushed skin, tongue lapping relentlessly against her. More baby; I know you can give me more. She doesn’t so much hear them as she does become them, absorbing them into her skin. That’s it angel— so good, so good for me.

She can feel him drinking in her mumbled, jagged noises, some words but others mere syllables, coaxed out of her by tongue and fingers all the same. Steve— honey— mmph, fuck, right there— oh my— the words pour out now, dam broken beyond repair, and for some reason, or maybe a lack thereof, it spurs her on even more, a freed woman if ever there was one— 

“Oh my god, Stevie!”

It’s maddening— he’s maddening. 

He’s relentless. 

It isn’t until she yanks his still-eager mouth away from her, stomach iron-tense from way too much overstimulation, does he slowly draw his hand reluctantly back from her shuddering body. His other arm unwinds from where it’s been snaked around her knee, anchoring her to him throughout the duration of his worship. Now pushing him upright, holding him just near enough to where she can hear his labored breaths but not feel them, she shivers, cold as ice without his heat. 

He stares down at her, unmoving, and her heart jumps in her chest. She doesn’t understand— he’s just standing there while she shudders, breathless. His shirt is stretched, no doubt from her pulling at it, and in noticing the damage she remembers how she’s completely naked and he’s completely not. Exposed doesn’t even begin to touch how she feels. 

She wraps her arms around her chest, knees drawing up to tuck under her chin. “Steve?” 

She’d forgotten what it felt like to constantly have him next to her— to have his furnace like warmth melting into her skin almost every minute. Now that she’s had her first real taste of him again, she’s de-acclimated to being alone. She needs him.

“C’mere,” she begs, shaking and a bit confused, why isn’t he touching her still, “please, Stevie, come back.” 

When her fingers finally swipe against his shirt, barely snagging it, he flinches, coming back to her. “Sorry baby, I didn’t mean—” 

She flings herself at him, heart off kilter and erratic in her chest as her lips press against his, swallowing his apologies and hoping beyond anything else that he just catches her, like he always does. He does, kissing her back fervently— reverently. His tongue, tinted with her essence, scoops into her mouth the same way he had been between her thighs. She welcomes the way he takes charge, knowing he holds her against him with every ounce of strength he has.

“—’m sorry,” he pants into her mouth, clearly not satisfied with the success of her attack, “so, so sorry baby.” 

He repeats the words deliriously. Presses them into her hair and against her temple, on her chin and both her cheeks. He especially feeds them to her, word for word, against her lips, soft at first and then rough, frenzied. He’s not talking about right now. He’s still back in that apartment; the fallen angel amongst the rubble, wings too broken to just leave it. 

It’s not complicated. And it’s not revenge, because she could never make him feel worse than he already does, nor would she want to. So, in between kisses and apologies, she answers.

“I know, Stevie.”   

“It’s ok— we’re ok, Stevie.” 

“Steve, stop— I love you!”

He stops. He sets her down, bare feet planting unsteady against the ground. He steps back. What?

“Stevie?” She questions, already moving forward, but his arms, sweeping over his head, towing his shirt up and off, halt her in her tracks. 

Oh.  

 Oh. 

This time, when she says his name it's only a breathy moan, fingers searching for his belt loops and hooking him towards her. In the time it takes for her hands to find the button— this one, thankfully, popping open immediately— there must be a god somewhere who didn’t abandon them in the rubble— he’s back on her, one hand carefully threading through her hair, dragging her mouth back to his, while the other pushes the rest of his clothes to the ground.

“I love you, I love— ah, fuck,” he hisses as her hand wraps around him, thumb brushing over his velvety tip.

For the first time, she smiles against his mouth, calm. “Language, Rogers.”

He pulls back, one neat eyebrow flicked up, but there’s humor in his eyes— no more tension. No more worry. Just fun. He leans down, nuzzling his chin down the side of her face, breath fanning her ear. Her hand stutters as it tugs on him, dragging up and down. He’s so hard— it’s been so damn long. 

“Thought I was Stevie, baby?” It’s an absent minded tease, blush lips parted even after the fact, glued to the way she touches him. 

In turn she watches his face, crowned in a mussed up halo of gold, some of which sticks to his forehead but most falling at every which angle, a product of her thighs sealing themselves around him. She can’t say that she’s never seen him this disheveled but she’ll never get used to it. He’s perfect— she makes him so messy. 

Clearly, she hadn’t been the only one enjoying herself, though, if the heaviness of him between her fingers, rutting into her palm is anything to go by. She squeezes harder, testing something, and he groans something almost inhuman against her neck. Guttural. He’s so close already. It fuels her like nothing else, tickling the part of her that just wants to please. She’s making reparations, too. Speeding up, she works him faster. Come on, honey.  

“Stevie—” she echoes and the next thing she knows, he’s pulling her off him, pushing her towards the steam which billows out from behind the curtain. 

From the moment her feet touch the warm, wet surface of the shower floor, everything is a blur. The water sprays over her harshly, but only for a moment, before he overpowers it with his own, massive body, just as searing against her skin. She registers the slick splat of her back against the wall, a grunt— missed this, baby, and her own feral howl as he slams into her. There’s no waiting, no tiptoeing, only his cock sealing them together furiously once more. 

One of her legs is hiked up impossibly far, hinging near his hip where his hand crushes her to him. The other leg holds her up— barely— heel raised, toes splaying for grip as she reaches higher. He’s just so big— so tall and so thick. So impossible to adequately open herself to without him fully lifting her but she wants to try so she does her best to meet his brutal pace, clinging around his neck desperately. 

If his fingers had filled her entirely, his cock is almost unbearable. She relishes it, though, the way she can almost feel him in her damn throat with each and every drag. It’s mesmerizing, the way there’s no need for adjustment— for remembering. He knows her body like it’s his own and it makes her drool with pleasure.   

The slapping of their skin together proves to be louder than the rush of the water, but not more so than Steve whose mouth is working over time, ladeling praises directly into her ear, soaked, stubbly chin grating deliciously against her temple.

“You look so pretty baby,” he hums, staring mesmerized at their bodies to where he slips in and out of her, “ look at you taking me so well.”  

And she does. 

It’s a lewd notion, the way she can see exactly where he is inside her by the way her belly ripples with his plunges, but one that makes her gasp nonetheless, spasming around him which is also visible to both of them. Loosening one of her hands from its vice grip on his shoulder, he places it on the exact spot, urging her to feel just how big he is. With every sloppy push and pull, she does feel it, and it sends her reeling.

“See that?” He rasps, and she can only nod, mouth agape enough for some of the water falling off his hair to drip into it. 

She swallows it, tongue somehow so, so dry despite everything. Her nerves are on fire, everything so much slower than it should be. 

The agonizing pull of his hand on hers, dragging her own fingers under his to toy with her clit. 

The little circles that take hours to complete but nurture the current running through her veins regardless. 

The fucking torturous in and out of his cock— taunting her, languidly pounding her for what feels like an eternity— she can’t think. She’s in the water but she feels under it, too, foggy and pent up. She just wants to cum—

“Fuck, baby, I’m gonna—” 

“—Stevie!” 

She breaks through the sluggish pleasure into electric and all consuming waves, head falling against the wall as his hips stutter against hers, pumping once, then twice, before falling still. Each time, she clenches harder, babbling something gritty and foul and incomprehensible. Something along the lines of holy fucking shit baby but its blurred with searing, pulsing pleasure.

There’s stars behind her eyes and steam in her nose as he falls against her chest, sopping hair tickling her hypersensitive skin. Him pulling feels like what two exposed wires touching must— all sparky and hot. It’s too much. 

“Mmm, careful baby,” she mumbles and he chuckles. 

“Of course.” 

The rest is truly a lull. Steve doesn’t bother gathering their clothes, only her, carrying her limp body to the bed and carefully setting her under the covers, dripping and all, before joining her. If she weren’t so sleepy, she would have scolded him. But she is and her eyes are refusing to stay open, let alone give him that look. It’s all she can do = to seek his warm skin once more, slithering against his body and rooting herself there. 

Cauterized, or something like it. 

[flightfoot]

Marinette Completed Angst Fic Reclist

I know some people really like this genre, so I figured I'd make a list for it! These will obviously all be completed, and none of them will be bashing fics, and PLEASE don't rec any fics on this post that are bashing fics, I don't want to see them.

Some of these will have my own commentary about the fic attached to it, for if I've put them on a previous reclist where I had that commentary written out. But a lot of the older fics won't.

For a fic to count for this, the angst Marinette goes through can't just be her being upset about what someone else is going through, though the angst of the fic doesn't only need to be hers, so long as she has her own angst which is a decently prominent part of the fic.

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one does not love breathing by @wackus-bonkus-maximus

All of Paris watched as Hawkmoth murdered Chat Noir, taking the Black Cat Miraculous for himself. Ladybug swears revenge, but her enemy—and every miraculous in his possession—disappear without a trace.

Six years later, a new team of villains launches an attack for the last remaining Miraculous: Volpina, armed with new powers; Queen Bee, with questionable loyalty; Argos, the new holder of the Peacock Miraculous; and Cat Walker, who Ladybug hates the most.

Takes place after S4 - Strike Back.

This is a simply phenomenal fic. You get to explore a lot of different perspectives, like Felix, Kagami, Marinette, and Adrien’s, just to name a few, and see their different thought processes and plans and priorities, and how it can cause their plans to collide with each other, even when they all ultimately are aiming for a good outcome for everyone. The characters are pretty complex and can mess up at times, even when they’re doing things (or not doing things, looking at you Luka) with the best of intentions. It was a joy to read and a real nail-biter the whole time, I actually wrote a fic for it halfway through just to resolve some of the tension for myself, One Does Not Love Shadows.

It also features the version of Luka I’ve connected best with to date, as he feels like Luka, but also is a lot more fleshed out, and can make some major errors while simply trying to avoid missteps. It’s helped me get a better handle on a character who I’ve generally had a lot of problems with really understanding.

It is an M-rated fic, though I think Wackus is being overly cautious on that front. There’s no sexual content and I wouldn’t put the violence or gore above a T-rating, so I wouldn’t let the rating scare you off.

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you don’t even know me at all (but I was made for loving you) by @ladyofthenoodle

They didn’t remember each other. The hospital told them there’d been an accident—brain damage—but Alya had told them the truth, later. Who’d they’d been to each other. What they’d given up, and why. But even with their memories of each other gone, Adrien and Marinette are still inextricably tied together—by law, by their social circles, and by their hearts. And in the apartment they share, there’s only one bed.

Yep, it’s the “there was only one bed” trope XD! I especially love how it was used here, how Adrien and Marinette are strangers now but they had a whole life together, and they pine for each other even without remembering, and how Marinette just can’t believe how in love with her Adrien is even though he doesn’t remember her. I loved the emotional turmoil the two of them went through together in the fic, and the resolution, it’s great!

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fine line by @bbutterflies

“Catwalker?” Loveybug asks. “Hmm?” “Do you remember… what happened before us?” “What do you mean?” “Before we were heroes. Was there someone else?” Catwalker goes quiet for a moment. “I don’t know,” he finally says.

This is a surprisingly angsty take on the Loveybug AU. Here, since the Loveybug and Cat Walker transformations are so unnatural, they’re having negative side effects on Marinette and Adrien, causing them to be constantly exhausted and even to get amnesia the longer they continue using them.

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do you think I have forgotten about you? by @roseinaugust

Based on the song ‘About You’ by The 1975. Memory Loss. Told in alternating time lines, one leading up to and one dealing with the aftermath of Marinette relinquishing the Miracle Box and the guardianship. Marinette struggles with her life after losing her memory, though there is a persistent voice that calls to her that always seems just out of reach in her memory.

Beautiful memory loss fic here, with seeing Ladybug’s and Chat Noir’s relationship before she gave up the Miracle box, juxtaposed with the present day, when Adrien is only a stranger to her. I could really feel how Marinette was struggling with navigating these new circumstances, with her friends seeming to expect her to remember, to be who she was to them, to Adrien especially, before, and her just… not knowing whether she can do that. It’s got a happy ending though, for those who are concerned about that.

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Our Tales Are Endless (That’s Why I Tell Them) by @joonapeach

Marinette lives a simple life - one surrounded by pretty dresses, fresh macaroons, and the calming view of Paris. It’s a life she thinks she has always fit in. And yet sometimes, when a certain boy comes by her shop with a flower and a new adventurous story, she can’t help but wonder if there’s something else she’s missing.

This was a truly gorgeous story. It’s the classic “Marinette gives up the Miracle Box and loses her memories” storyline, exploring her life two years later. Even though she’s had time to heal and recover, she still feels like she’s missing something, something big. At least Adrien’s stopping by regularly to tell her stories about Ladybug and Chat Noir, even if she doesn’t understand why they resonate with her so well.

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I (Wish I) Knew You by @buggachat

University has been hard on Marinette. Making new friends and maintaining her grades is a lot easier said than done when she has to disappear at odd times to fight akumas. She's struggling, and with Alya away with family and Adrien painfully out of reach, she's never felt lonelier.

If only she could talk to someone who really understood her struggles... but it's not like Chat Noir would know anything about loneliness. Right?

Nice aged-up Ladynoir fic here! Marinette’s struggling with losing friends and lovers because of her flakiness due to her superhero activities, until at last she breaks down. Thankfully, Chat Noir’s there at least - and it soon turns out he’s got problems of his own that he’s been hiding.

There’s some fluff and angst, it’s mostly just the two of them navigating life, dealing with their feelings and talking things out.

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If I Let Myself Love You by @uptoolateart

It’s hard to be a normal girl with a normal life when your mother has terminal cancer. And when fashion model Adrien Agreste moves back to Paris and wants to be Marinette’s friend – or maybe even more – her life is turned upside down again.

How can she risk opening her heart to love when her whole world is falling apart? Especially when Adrien is hiding a dark secret of his own….

- COMPLETE FIC – updates on Sundays

*** No kwamis AU - 100% Adrinette. About half of it is fluffy and half heavy. Please read tags for trigger warnings. ***

This fic can be rough, definitely pay attention to the tags. There’s no villains in this story, it mostly centers around themes of dealing with illness - both being sick and having a loved one who’s terminally ill - and death, grieving someone who’s lost, and how difficult that can be. It can get pretty gut-wrenching at times, especially as you slowly discover more layers of what’s really going on, what both Adrien and Marinette are hiding, both from others and from themselves in order to help cope with their circumstances. But they still move forwards together, regardless.

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Between the Heavens and the Embers by @readersmoon

Everyone in Paris remembers the fateful night of January 16, when the city was attacked by the most powerful and destructive akuma ever created. The assault, which lasted for hours, resulted in the death of 439 people.

Marinette Dupain-Cheng was among the casualties.

Years later, Adrien hasn't been able to move on, haunted by the memories of her broken body. So, when the opportunity to leave Paris for a while presents itself, he doesn't hesitate. But this trip might end up giving him more than he ever dreamt of.

This is a fantastic fic, though a serious and a dark one - make sure to mind the tags, and it’s M-rated for a reason. Vee - or rather, Marinette - is going through a horror story here. Imagine finding out that your life is a lie, that everyone you thought you could trust was manipulating you, that you were just being continually gaslit for years. 

As for Adrien, Alya, and Nino... well, none of them took Marinette’s “death” all that well, especially Adrien. Finding out that she’s been alive all this time, in these horrible circumstances, and they had no clue... it’s hard on them as well.

I love how this fic goes into how much trauma everyone has even after the immediate danger’s dealt with, you don’t just walk off this kind of experience, especially with how many years this lasted.

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in case you don’t know me tomorrow by @thelibraryloser:

“We live in a crazy world where pieces of our lives can be erased like they never even happened. I just wanted to memorize this moment so… so I could keep it, if that makes sense.”

Adrien’s heart gave a little flutter. She wanted to keep this moment, meeting him. She wanted to keep… him.

“I understand exactly what you mean.“

In a world that has created a way to selectively delete memories, no moment is truly safe. So how do you hold on to something when the memory of it is gone? And how do you keep fighting for someone when you’re the only one who remembers?

This is a SEVERELY underrated fic. It’s got some shades of “Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind” in the world, though the plot is very different - the memory erasure ain’t willing. 

Basically, the first few chapters are establishing Adrien’s and Marinette’s romance, and then the rest of the fic is dealing with Gabriel being an absolute DICK and using any means at his disposal to break them apart. It’s fantastic and I highly recommend reading it!

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hella enchanted by @xiueryn:

Years ago, Marinette’s father died and she was left with her awful stepmother. With magic forcing her to obey every command, she lived as a servant and gave up hope. When a man appears, searching for the very fairy that blessed her, Marinette decides to give life one more try. AU.

(a different ella enchanted au.)

Even though it’s a one-shot this one is pretty long, clocking in at over 30k words. Absolutely worth a shot, though. The first third is basically Marinette dealing with being pushed around because of her “blessing”, and the other two-thirds is just some adorable fluff of her and Adrien touring the country together. 

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Echoes of You by kittinoir

In the day time, she's Marinette - a normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with a normal life. A normal girl, with... Not Season 4 Compliant; please, no spoilers

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balancing act by fictionalinfinity

“Besides, being Ladybug always came first. It came before school, friends, and sometimes even family. Now it had to come before her health. Marinette had a duty to Paris. She wouldn’t let them down.” Or, being both Ladybug and the Guardian starts to take its toll on Marinette. - the epilepsy au literally no one asked for

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Some Days by @merrygreenie

Some days are worse, and others are a little better, little by little and day by day. Marinette Dupain-Chen is learning how to live her new normal after living in confinement and being tortured by Hawkmoth. She is thankful to have her friends and family to support her. And a very special Chat who loves her very much. *This story contains scenes of violence and torture this is a whump fic*

This fic has some great angst, but be warned, it's not kidding about the violence and torture. Honestly, it should probably be rated M instead of Teen, given that while the fic mostly takes place after Marinette escapes and while she's recovering, we do get a detailed flashback to her torture.