#but I think I'd prefer to tell my story through a comic book

[dustofthedailylife]

Man... I really really want to make either a Visual Novel with my art, writing and OCs or create an original Comic Series.

I lack the programming skills and have zero clue about publishing games for the first one and I lack the time and still the skill for the latter...

[dianawinchester03]

Prologue - Enter Y/N

Series Masterlist

Y/N's POV

I straighten out my shirt,sighing as I watch the corpse ignite into flames in-front of my eyes.

Salt and Burn. Check. The chilly air in the cemetery engulfs my body, I warm my hands over the burning corpse, rubbing my hands together to gather the heat.

Internally rolling my eyes, I pick up my duffle bag and make my way towards my bike. My pride and joy. Quinn's a Harley-Davidson VRSC. I named her after my favorite DC Comic book character, Harley Quinn. Original huh?

Breaking me out of my thoughts I hear my phone ring. Fishing my phone out of my pocket as I lean against Quinn. Rolling my eyes, I answer roughly after seeing the contact.

"I'm alive, f/n" I say hastily. I could practically hear the frown crease on my fathers face with the way I answer. Don't get me wrong, I love the man but boy can he be a pain. "I'm glad to hear you're okay baby....how're things" He asks.

I pull my bottom lip into my mouth answering "Everything is fine, I just finished a quick salt and burn of an old pastor who had been terrorizing atheists" I chuckle ironically at the fact. Like father like daughter, my dad chuckles over the phone. "Wonderful, I knew you'd do well on your own" He says lightly.

"Is that so?" I say sarcastically. "Aren't you the same one who said, and I quote, 'Don't come back if you go out there on your own, don't call, don't text, pretend I'm dead' " I mock his rugged voice as I quote his words to me two years ago bitterly. Granted he's called me every so often since our falling out but I haven't dared called him.

Flashback

September 2003

"Daddy I'm 20 years old! I can hunt in my own. I've been doing it since I've been in diapers!" I yell frustrated at my father. "You better watch your tone with me! Who the fuck do you think you're yelling at!?" He screams back at me causing me to flinch.

"You're not ready! I know the shit that's out there in the world and I'd prefer if you and I do it together. There is no reason we can't hunt together!" He yells in my face, causing me to flinch in habit.

"Your obsession with finding the thing that killed mom is the reason I can't work with you" I say harshly. The look on his face alone, scared the crap outta me. When I was younger, anything he said would scare me. I'd listen to him and follow his orders like a good little soldier but I'm sick of it.

Two decades of this crap, it was bound to happen. My mother died in my nursery when I was six months old. Pinned to the ceiling just like Sam's mom, only a couple months after Mary died, my mom died.

Mom and Dad were childhood friends with Sam and Dean's mom. They bonded through all of them coming from families of hunters. Basically my parents were childhood sweethearts which honestly touches my heart.

After knocking back a few, dad could tell the story of when he fell in love with mom a million times. He loved her with everything. I always wondered if I'd have something like that. Frankly, I don't believe love like that exists anymore.

My mother was also a psychic, a powerful one too. She basically had these abilities like seeing into the past/present/future, moving objects with her mind, summoning/binding ghosts and reading minds. Psychics develop their abilities by 18. She could even communicate with the dead.

She and my dad hunted together after meeting and settled down in Lawrence, deciding to have a family. Giving it up for the apple pie life. Honestly sometimes I think my dad's disappointed at the fact that I'm not like my mother.

"So you don't care about your mother then?" He says back to me coldly, rage dripping from his voice. "I never said that dad! I just can't deal with you every single goddamn day breathing down my neck. I love you so much daddy but shit! I can't take this anymore" Tears prick at my eyes as I pick up my helmet and army green duffel bag. I throw on my leather jacket and head for the front door.

Jumping on my bike, before I could put on my helmet I hear his yell from the safehouse. "Listen to me and listen to me good Y/N L/N. Don't come back if you go out there on your own, don't call, don't text, pretend I'm dead". My heart jumped out of my chest, my helmet clutched to my side. Angrily I wipe my tears away from my cheeks "Fine". With that I snap my helmet on and make my way out of the driveway and into the night.

Present Time

September 2005

My father sighs heavily over the phone because of my habit to hold a grudge. I was surprised last year when he called me for my birthday to say the least. Since then, he's called me every so often. "Listen baby, I didn't call to argue. I just wanted to make sure you're okay"

"I'm fine dad, look I've gotta go. I'm hungry and tired. Okay? We'll talk whenever" Without letting him say another word, I hang up. You might think I'm being harsh but if you've lived a day in the life of my childhood, you'd be just as angry as me right now.

I straddle my bike, placing my helmet on my head. The roar of the engine fills the quiet cemetery, revving the engine I make my way towards a local dive bar to pick up some grub and hit the hay.

________________________________

"Say your prayers little one,

Don't forget my son,

To include everyoneeee"

I jump awake hearing the beginning guitar riff and first couple lyrics of "Enter Sandman" by Metallica from my phone. Without looking at the contact I click decline, turning over to see the handsome naked man next to me. I slightly jump before realizing he's the guy I met at the bar. I'm not one for constant one night stands but sometimes I need a release. Especially after that call with my dad. I groan from the pounding pain in my head. Great, I'm gonna get a bitch of a hangover.

Sighing I check the time. 3:33 am. Who the fuck would call me at this hour? It's a bit creepy no? I put my phone back onto the nightstand and wrap my arms around my mystery man, resting my head on his chest. Mark? Mike? Im not sure. He stirs a bit but eventually falls back asleep. As if on cue my phone rings again.

I let out an exhaustrated groan before turning over and answering my phone. "Whoever the fuck this is. you better have a damn good reason to be calling me at this ungodly hour because I am *this* close to reaching into this phone and going all terminator on your ass!" I whisper yell angrily into my phone while I hastily put on my flannel, buttoning it up and slipping on my panties as I was still naked.

The deep humorous chuckle that I, all too well recognize echo in my ear. "Sorry princess, didn't mean to interrupt your night. I've been trying to call you for weeks and couldn't get a hold onto ya" My heart flutters at the sound of Dean's voice, he's one of my best friends. He's always called me "princess" and I've always called him "charming". His brother Sam and me have always been closer, being the same age and all. Me and Sam shared a stronger bond.

Where as Dean and me....there was never a Dean and me I guess. He's sees me as a little sister but while growing up I had a slight crush on him. I always reminded myself that he'd never see me like that so I just discarded it. One thing for sure, he's always protected me when necessary. Same with Sam, he's like a brother to me.

Growing up Dean teased me and Sam all the time, joking calling me his little girlfriend. Saying we'll get married and all that crap. But me and Sam came to the conclusion that we are just friends. Hell. We're basically siblings.

It's kinda bothered me knowing I had a crush on Dean but that died down when I hit my teens and puberty. We all grew up together going from motel to motel to Bobby's house to motel over and over. Our dads were hunting partners, my dad would leave me with Sam and Dean.

Dean always in charge of course, John made sure to enforce that. I tried my best to help Dean out because no kid should have that much responsibility but he'd always say "I've got it" or "It's okay y/n/n, just go play with Sammy". I love those boys with all my heart.

Last I'd seen Dean for my 21st last year, he took me out and I quote he wanted to be "the first person to see me take my first legal drink".

I turn around to see Mark/Mike stirring in his sleep again, grabbing pack of cigarettes and lighter I walk towards the door and unlock it, stepping outside the sleazy motel room. I respond to Dean "Jesus Christ Dean, it's 3 am" I roll my eyes as I flick my lighter, putting one of the cigarettes to my lips, lighting it and taking a puff.

"Like I said, been trying to reach ya but you're basically a ghost" He says ironically. "Sorry man, I've been trying to avoid pops" I say, taking another drag. "Yeah I actually called him to get a hold onto you, told me you hung up on him. Kinda cold not gonna lie" Dean says lightly chuckling and it all clicks into place, that's why my dad called me.

"Shit, my bad. How have you been? You alright?" I ask worried, leaning against the door of my room. I just know he has that shit eating signature grin on his face when he hears my tone. "Awww is the Princess worried about me" He teases. "You better watch that tone before I hang up on you too" I mock threaten, teasing him back, trying to fight the smile on my face.

I take a drag from my cigarette that's nearly done as he dramatically gasps "You wouldn't dare" He say's melodramatically like an old lady in a soap opera and I laugh "Try me, Winchester" I chuckle as we share a laugh. "It's good to hear from you, Charming. What's the problem though? I know it has to be serious for you to call me at this hour" I queried, waiting for an answer.

"It's Dad, Y/N. He's gone on a hunting trip, and he hasn't been home in a few days" He says, his voice somber. "He went on a case and hasn't updated you? That's strange" I say as I out my cigarette on the door still, now leaning against the railings over the ground floor of the motel.

"I'm on my way to California. I'm gonna grab Sammy from Stanford and head over to Jericho. That's where dad was working his case. You wanna tag along?" He asks hopefully. Without hesitation I say "I'm in Phoenix, just finished a milk run. If I leave as soon as sunrise I can make it for probably the next morning with a few pit stops"

"Great! I'll see you soon princess" He says flirtatiously. "Yeah yeah whatever Charming" I say chuckling "Wait did you say you're gonna grab Sammy? Have you guys talked since...." I ask cautiously. "Nah we haven't, but I'm hoping to change that. Have you?" He asks now sounding a little down. Truth is, I've talked to Sam a couple well times since he left for Stanford a couple years ago. I supported his decision to leave hunting and live a normal life. It's all we've ever talked about as kids.

He's updated me on his life at Stanford, he's got a girlfriend now. Jessica Moore, boy is she gorgeous. My little Sammy is all grown up. Ignoring the fact he's a couple months older than me and never lets me live it down but that's besides the point. He's happy and I feel bad that Dean has to go get him, but his dad is missing. They always butted heads but if it were me I'd wanna know. He needs to know.

"Yeah a couple times..." I say softly. "He misses you Dean" I add, trying to reassure Dean, knowing him he's probably overthinking going to see Sam. Dean sighs heavily before saying "I do too. I miss you as well you nutcase" I smile at this before replying "I miss you too you asshat. See you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, see you tomorrow" He says and with that I hang up. I walk back into my motel room to see Mark/Mike still asleep on the bed. I gather my things, tossing them into my duffel bag. After taking a shower I wait a couple hours for sunrise so I can leave.

Right as I'm about to pick up my helmet Mark/Mike wakes up, causing me to freeze. "Didn't take you for a dine and dash type" he says chuckling. I laugh as well "I'll take that as a compliment, I'm actually on my way out to meet a friend. It's important"

"That's cool, it was nice meeting you Y/N" he says nicely before laying back on the bed "You too Mark" I say back smiling, his face drops "It's Max". Crap.

Authors Note

HOLY SHIT! I'm so excited I can't. If you haven't noticed this is my first fanfiction, not my first book. The others I've deleted because they were embarrassing and I wrote them when I was 12 lol.

This book however, I plan on sticking to it. I've been contemplating doing a series rewrite on Supernatural for monthssss. Honestly I've read so much and there are plots I loved but also hated in some. So I decided to add a bit of a twist on mine.

I really hope whoever decided to read this that you like the plot I'm going with and I'm sure you've noticed that y/n is a little cold towards her father. I'm gonna be honest, I'm writing based off my my experience with my dad.

I do plan on developing their relationship but in the later episodes/chapters. Whoever is reading I just want to say thank you for giving my book a chance and I do hope you like the plot I am going to use for y/n's story.

As I am bisexual, I've been thinking about making y/n bisexual also but I know there's a lot of straight girlies on Wattpad. So I'd like to know your opinion if I should add that fact. Also I know Harley-Davidson VRSC came out in 2006 but this is a fictional book so let's just pretend it came out in the 90s or something lol.

Side note.

Y/N- Your name

Y/N/N- your nickname

F/N - your father's name

M/N- your mother's name

Xoxo

[ofliterarynature]

APRIL 2024 WRAP UP

[loved liked ok nope dnf (reread) bookclub*]

Death in the Spires • Heartstopper Vol 4 • Heartstopper Vol 3 • To Marry an English Lord • The True Queen • (Heartstopper Vol 2) • Fun Home* • (Arabella of Mars) • I’m Glad My Mom Died • (Sorcerer to the Crown) • And Then There Were None • Vassa in the Night • Queen of the Night • The Other Significant Others • Most Ardently • The Reformatory • The Book of Love

Read: 14 (10 audio, 4 print, 3 DNF)

The Other Significant Others (5 stars)- I've been anticipating this one ever since I first heard about it and it didn't disappoint! Not only does it tell the stories of people in close, non-traditional relationships, it also talks about marriage, raising kids, and aging, and it was all incredible. I've recommended this in the tags of so many posts and I need y'all to read it.

Queen of the Night (3 stars) - I've heard this glowingly recommended. I liked the author's story in the Sword, Stone, Table anthology. The events in the book are incredible! I should have been fascinated! But I was so bored! Part of it was that the mystery/thriller element in the description - someone has written an opera based on the main character's scandalous secret past, who could it be? - was extremely oversold, most of the book is recounting said past events, and we don't really dive into the present mystery until the very end. I've read similarly slow books so I don't know why I didn't like this, but I wish I'd dnf'd it. I'd recommend you try The God of Endings by Jacqueline Holland instead.

Vassa in the Night (4 stars) - this one surprised me! It's YA, I've heard pretty mixed reviews, and it's been sitting on my shelf for a while - starting it, the VERy in-your-face YAness almost threw me off but I'm very glad I stuck through it. I live for magic and fairy tales being dumped into modern times, and the really smart thing about this book is that it keeps a very tight focus (no space for the larger worldbuilding to fall apart lol). We've got a morally-grey magical doll companion who's a kleptomaniac and will eat you out of house and home, Baba-Yaga and her 24-hour convenience store on chicken feet, her disembodied hand assistants, weird guy on a motorcycle, and oh yeah, if they catch you stealing they'll put your head on display (and they're not above framing you to do it). Yes this is perfectly normal, why do you ask? I'm not saying it's perfect, but I had such a good time!

And Then There Were None (4 stars) - my first real attempt at Christie! I did enjoy listening to this, enough that I think I'll try some other Christie, but it wasn't entirely to my taste. I prefer having a detective figure in the story to follow, and the "reveal" after was disappointing.

Sorcerer to the Crown (3.5 stars) - this was a reread, and I definitely liked it a lot less for some reason this time? Maybe it was changing formats, but I love a historical fantasy romp and this should have been right up my alley! The True Queen (4 stars) was much more enjoyable, so maybe it was the characters, maybe it was the rereading itself. I think this might be my sign to call it quits with Zen Cho.

I'm Glad My Mom Died (4 stars) - this isn't really one I think I'd have ever picked for myself even though it got popular, except that my book-club friend recommended it. I'm finding that I'm not really one for memoirs, but despite the heartbreaking contents this was very easy to read - largely chronological with short chapters, and the author is clearly aware that things were bad even when her younger self did not. I accidentally started this when I was also reading Fun Home, so that was a lot of bad-parent-memoir at the same time, oops.

Fun Home: A Family Tragicomic (4 stars) - I've been eying this one for a while and am glad to have gotten it on the list for book club! Deeply fascinating, if not always an easy read - the subject on one hand, but the density of the pages, the differences between the comic panels and the narration outside them, and the jumping through time that memoirs do sometimes made events hard to follow. I admit my favorite parts were seeing the different queer books Bechdel slipped into her illustrations (one that I'm reading right now even!).

Arabella of Mars (4.5 stars) - Y'all, we are sleeping on this book, I had so much fun! Here's to girls dressing as boys, sailing ships, steampunk space travel, and vibes straight from early sci-fi adventure novels. I can't believe I forgot about this and am just glad I picked up a copy at the library sale to make myself reread it. I do apologize for thinking this was YA (which it isn't), but further thoughts on that and the rest of the series will have to wait for next month.

Heartstopper Vol 2-4 (5/5/4 stars) - finally! I read part of the comic online ages ago, and read Vol 1 for book club the other month, but I finally got started on the rest of the series. I had definitely read through Vol 2 previously, but everything else was new to me. I had a good time, but Vol 4 was a bit of a(n expected!) downer, and the time jump in the middle ruined the flow a bit for me. I do have Vol 5 in my hands currently, and if I didn't have so many other things to do I'd be tempted to do a big Alice Oseman re/read.

To Marry an English Lord (4 stars) - I encountered this at not one, but TWO unrelated book sales before I caved and bought it. I enjoyed it! It's mostly a sort of overview/reference covering the period around the Gilded Age - the New York upper crust, the European Aristocracy, and the various societal events that lead to a pattern of marital exchange. Did I skim the bits where it just listed name after name after name? Yes, but! Highly recommend to anyone reading romances or general fiction set in the period, I really wish I'd read this before trying The Age of Innocence! (its also very funny how occasionally it makes references that make it very obvious it was written in the 80's lol). Pairs incredibly well with another book I bought at the same sale, The Divorce Colony by April White.

Death in the Spires (3.5 stars) - I love KJ Charles, but I've often felt that her plots and romances can sometimes be at odds - so I was very excited when she said she'd written a mystery! But I'm lukewarm about it at best. The campus novel portions were fascinating, and I'd have loved more of them. But Jem as our narrator just wasn't engaging for most of the book. I wouldn't say it's his fault necessarily, but he's not really a good detective, there are either no clues or they're just going in circles, and the promised attempts on his life just aren't happening. Once we hit the 2/3 mark, where we're on campus, have more characters together, and they're talking - that's when things got good! Maybe this will be be better on a reread, but for now my hopes are for some good fanfic. Would recommend more to the dark academia people rather than mystery fans.

DNF

Most Ardently (20%) - the vibes were very much, "here's my blorbos, I'm putting them in a Pride and Prejudice AU." Which is great, if that's what you want! It was not what I wanted alas. Biggest cons, the de-ageing of the characters and the generally modern YA/queerness. Pros, they did keep all of the other Bennet sisters! I was so tempted to keep reading just to see how Oliver and Darcy got together, but I knew I wasn't going to enjoy myself. Would have loved to see this presented as an original work rather than an adaptation, or as something hewing closer to the original tone and period of the novel.

The Reformatory (43%) - this was good, really! It's just that I'm only so-so on horror on my best days, and both story lines were sad and dark and depressing. I could have probably handled one or the other, but I wasn't really having a good time (that's not the right phrasing exactly, but you know what I mean). I had other things I wanted to read and it was a long book.

The Book of Love (6%) - I've heard multiple people sing the praises of Kelly Link, so while I wasn't really drawn by the description, I thought I'd give it a shot! I did, and it still didn't draw me in. Maybe I'll give it a try again someday, but I think I'll try her short fiction first.

[theultimatenonbinarynerd]

March 2024 Reading Wrap Up

The Calendar

Another incredible reading month and I'm so glad I managed to keep my streak this time despite still recovering from illness. It's been a scifi packed month and I absolutely will do my best to fix that next month. I'm one of those people who want to do their best to diversify their TBR. I'd also dub this the Aftermath month as I decided to reread Aftermath to prep for reading Life Debt. And despite the still obvious flaws im so grateful I decided to give Chuck Wending a second chance.

The biggest excitement of this month is that I'm proud to announce that after three agonising months I finally finished Black Spire. When I re-read it in the future I can absolutely assure you that the read will be shorter. I don't know what happened it just took absolutely ages to read. It was a fairly decent novel and I adored the themes of Rebellion and Resistance. I just wish the other characters were fleshed out more as Vi and Archex are the only ones that are. 10th of March was the best day ever as I was just so glad to be finally rid of this side read as I have a whole block of other side reads I wanted to get too.

The High Republic comics are an absolute delight and I definitely want to get more of them in the future but they're still not my focus. The High Republic Adventures Vol.1 was incredible, I borrowed it off my brother and was really excited to read it and it was incredible. Lula and Zeen are an absolute power couple. The story telling was super enriching and fun. I definitely want to get my hands on Vol.2 sometime as I've also weirdly already read Vol.2. After I've read Fallen Star I definitely will need to re-read Vol. 3. I'm not suprised it took five days as that's normally how long comics usually take for me.

And then to finish off my side reads I managed to miraculously finish Vol.5 of the Animal Crossing New Horizons Manga. Vol.5 was really good and I loved how it incoperated the final 2.0 update and the dlc. Especially since Dark seems to be my reading mood preference I always love to incoperate a few lighthearted reads in there to save my shattered heart cos lord I need it, need it massively. This series is awesome and i'm happy it's gone on to have nine volumes but im definitely only sticking to eight of them thank you.

Then we have of course the Doctor Who Big Finish audio dramas. I'm very close to the end of The Eighth Doctor Adventures Series 1 now and have really enjoyed the series. It's gotten me deeply into Big Finish. Phobos and No More Lies were very fun and easy listens. I think unless it's a box set I'm definitely gonna be able to listen to single Big Finish stories in one day as you can tell by the calendar.

March has been fun but I really wish I'd read more than scifi and I hope April will be the chance to improve upon that.

March Stats

I'm using all my stats and log templates from LEEBEE_READS from now on as their all beautiful especially this flowery March theme. I've also got the hang of using it better so it looks neater. So here's a breakdown of all my stats for March from left to right.

I "read" 6 books in total this month. Four physical books and two big finish audio dramas. I didn't expect to read as much as I did in February due to missing my support group and getting another FNAF book off my friend but I shouldn't have been as I still have a lot of side reads I need to get through. Pages was good too as I didn't think I'd reach 1000 pages but I did. This March I read 1047 pages only 47 more than March 2023. I don't care about beating records but I still find that quite the achievement. For listening it went as well, I managed to listen to 2.43 hours. A number that will go up as I listen to the longer audios. We'll see what April brings but I'm very proud of myself.

Genre was very scifi this month. The only none scifi book I read was the Animal Crossing Manga which just cracks me up. Scifi is an amazing genre and I've love all the scifi stories I've listened too and read but I feel like it doesn't hurt now and then to go outside of the box. After hopefully getting to Brotherhood I have 3 none Star Wars books to help break this spell which should hopefully balance out the stats. So my genre's ended up being very simple with only Scifi, Fantasy, Video Games, Manga and Graphic Novel. 5 Scifi listens and reads is just mind blowing its definitely helped me understand and figure out what my favourite genre indeed is. With what I have planned for April I'm very curious how my genres will look.

Mainly reads like I said last time is budging as I'm into very adventurous books that are dark and also have mystery. I also still adore 300-499 page books and that's never gonna change but we'll see.

March was a very interesting month for moods as last year I only logged three moods but this year I've managed to log eight moods. Through out my reads and listens I've managed to pick up the moods, Adventurous, Tense, Mysterious, Lighthearted, Hopefully, Funny, Dark and Challenging which is in my opinion the most impressive streak of moods so far. Adventurous is always gonna take the top spot but im really happy at how balanced this chart is. I read a pretty Dark Comic in terms of The High Republic Adventures Vol.1 and then balanced it out with Vol.5 of The Animal Crossing manga series. People may want to read all dark reading month but I still think it's super important to balance things out with lighthearted stuff as Dark books are dark for a reason as they can be super heavy. Really curious about how April's stats will turnout.

Finally the Star Ratings which shocked me as for the first time ever I remembered quarter star ratings existed and rated too reads/listens 4.25 stars. In the future I'm definitely gonna try remember quarter star ratings and be more critical about how I rate books. I had two 4 star rated reads one being a re-read, two 4.25 star reads/listens as both were good but had flaws which meant it didn't quite deserve 4.5 or 5 stars and one 5 star read. That resulted in and average rating of 4.33 stars. Which is the same average rating I got a year ago. Haven't got an average rating below 4 yet but we'll see what happens.

Overall a very good month for stats I'm very intrigued to see what April shall bring.

Reads/Listens

Looking at this lineup is hilarious and amusing for me because you can tell the Animal Crossing Manga is the odd one of the group. It's giving and Peggy 🤣. I'm still proud of the lineup but I'm disbelief at how much sci-fi I've consumed.

Phobos and No More Lies were really good listens I'm super impressed at how talented the Big Finish team are. The Eighth Doctor Adventures Series 1 was definitely the best place to start as from Blood Of The Daleks it's only gotten better. I enjoyed both stories due to how experimental they were. No More Lies hit me right in the feels once the explanation for the timeloop was revealed and Phobos gobsmacked me at how dark it got. Judging on my journey I think I might enjoy the stories with orginal villians more.

I deserve a medal for how long it took me to read Black Spire I'm absolutely gobsmacked that it took me 42 days to finish this book especially since some of the chapters were short. Sure I took breaks so I could read my main reads and recover from being ill and it sending me into a reading slump. I did enjoy this book for the most part it was just a drag to get through. I'd still recommend it as it's themes are really deep and relevant for today. I loved the characters of Vi and Archex and definitely want to get my hands on the Phasma Audiobook so I can understand the story better. Good birthday present.

Oh the High Republic is my comfort franchise and I love it. I never planned on picking up the comics but when an opportunity presents yourself you take it. Very much enjoyed this volume and loved the themes of found family. Considering Zeen is queer it was very purposefully metaphorical that her friend betrayed her and disowned her after she had to out herself as a force user to save people. I also think it fleshes out the Nihil recruitment process and shows how easy it is to turn to the wrong people. I hope in the future I can get to reading Vol.2 but I'll definitely be re-reading Vol.3 of the High Republic Adventures that's for sure. Vol.1 was a delightful read and hit me right in the feels its well deserving of 5 stars.

Aftermath after mistakingly picking up the book as my first Star Wars read I was absolutely done with this novel. I knew I'd have to continue the Trilogy as a completionist but I was absolutely done with Aftermath as far as I was concerned. Having completely forgotten the events of the book though I knew it would be best to Reread Aftermath before I dug my teeth into Life Debt so I did and it helped a lot. Reading alongside Marc Thompsons narration on audio gave the book so much of the life it needed. It was a much more pleasant experience on Reread. I thought I'd hate it even more but the rating did not change. Infact it got me in the mood for reading Life Debt. Glad I gave Chuck Wending a second chance and I hope Empires End is even better than this book.

Finally Animal Crossing. One of my favourite video games and I think this manga series has not only faithfully adapted what made New Horizons charming but also actually added personality and life into the npcs and villagers. Vol.5 was a welcome suprise as I didn't think they'd add the 2.0 update and dlc into the series but its a very nice and welcome suprise. This manga series is just a nice breath of fresh air and I can't wait to get my hands on Vol. 6, Vol.7 and Vol.8. I seriously haven't enjoyed an entry in the series this much since Vol.2. Rumba does a wonderful job.

Conclusion

After the end of February's reading took a down turn I'm proud I managed to pick myself back up again. March was very interesting and I'm glad even if mainly Sci-fi that I managed to read and listen to a good bunch of stuff. I'm very optimistic for April and think it'll be just as good. I do know that the Calendar is for sure gonna be interesting.

If you want to see my full reviews for the audios and books featured in this post you can find me on The Storygraph and Goodreads.

Goodreads: Melody Soundy

Storygraph: melsage1823

Well this has been March's reading wrap up until next time...

-Melody-

They/Them

[nerves-nebula]

Would you ever think of ever making your homeworks into a book and selling it? Both as a display of your works- a telling of many mini stories- and also an example of what can be done in the course you take?

*through labored breaths* I've thought about it, yes. and right now i have quite a few of my works printed, and around 10 of them are books of some kind.

but usually once i actually have the time to sit down and DO that, I end up preferring to work on personal projects like comics and shit instead. so i havent gotten around to it yet.

there's also the issue of the vastly different sizes of all my works. some of them are like, 24 inch posters that wouldnt really come across right in an art book. and some of them are very small personal folded zines. so its like. not super feasible.

one thing i should do over the summer tho is set up a portfolio website- not that I'd share it here since it's gotta have my REAL name attached hah.

[tomatograter]

I saw you mentioning the princess bride in a post and it made me wonder both of what you think of the movie adaptation (as it was practically my entire childhood) and the references to it made in homestuck the comic and whether they serve any purpose to the text. I also wonder if you’ve seen the movie stardust from 2007 and what you think of. Like always, I love to read pretty much everything you write, whether analysing text on tumblr or your ao3 fics, thanks!

OK SO. I should have answered this MONTHS ago but I wanted to properly write down something and… that took a while! I'm sorry it was this long </3 Thank you for your patience! Now on to the meat of it:

These two stories definitely have a fond place in my heart. Early this year I read the original Stardust novel for the first time (then rewatched the movie due to brilliant childhood memories), and I gotta say I have a bit of a strange relationship with it since I did think the book was good, but not nearly as fun or engaging as the movie, and what the movie did to some underused characters-- particularly the ship captain, who is just the extreme blueprint for Jake Harley from tip to toes; BUT. I found out I really liked the book ending better.

The movie is a remix of the book, it takes a lot of the convoluted plots and streamlines them into something that ties together nicely, cuts out characters that don’t add much, & explores characters that were interesting in the original but never given enough time to do stuff. It’s not a masterpiece, there was definitely a scene in the middle where I got really tense and expected to see a violent hate crime happen, it definitely... aged badly in some places (repeated instances of ‘man in a dress’ jokes including the character I mentioned above), but it’s an entertaining movie. It’s got quirky fun dialogue from a time before that became a tryhard hollywood staple. Everyone loves a fetch quest fantasy romp! Most of all, me!

I think what I really liked from the book ending is that we’re shown how the main couple avoids the expectation of ruling the kingdom for actual decades, finding other paths to follow in their very young lives instead of immediately marrying and settling down. It had a very nice, peaceful, sort of pensive bittersweet ending about the star not being quite human. The movie changes how the story approaches immortality, and that's not inherently bad but it’s also not the same y'know. Generally I'd recommend the movie first thing but then add on that the book is worth going through for that different flavor characterization of the story, if you're up to it.

(This comparison also seems very apt, the director of the Stardust movie adaptation famously only convinced Gaiman that he'd be fit to adapt it because he wanted the movie to be "his Princess Bride".)

I love the princess bride movie.

I watched it way before I got around to reading the book and I *tend* to prefer the book version to the movie version 9 out of 10 times, HOWEVER... As far as adaptations go, I think The Princess Bride is a prime example for condensing a story so its heart remains even if a lot of the juicy book details didn't. It also utilizes its respective mediums really well! The PB Movie works because it tells a story through a Cinematic lens, focusing on a satire of the Hollywood romance formula, while the PB Book does the same through the application of literary farce to its greatest extent. It's a prolonged roast of the fantasy literary romance genre - but it's also dangerously genuine.

It is a book that presents itself as not only a narrative, but as a conversation between the reader and the ‘abridger’ of one other fictional text (from a made up writer) while tripling as a confessional for the real life frustrations of said ‘abridger’. A juggling feat that was undoubtedly only made possible because William Goldman, on top of being Princess Bride's original author, also worked as a professional scriptwriter. He wrote both the book and the movie adaptation, and he jokes about this by fully narrativizing himself as a character within the book's text. (And I’m sure this sounds familiar.)

The *medium* through which The Princess Bride is told is given emphasis when you compare where the story starts in each version, who is telling it, and precisely how it is told. This is going to be relevant for that HS comparison if you hang on for a second.

IN THE MOVIE:

(Where) The story begins with a kid sick in bed, and his visiting grandfather, who's planning to read him a book.

(Who) The aforementioned grandfather serves as our main narrator, with some skeptical commentary from the kid.

(How) We get intro montages to quickly establish characters, middle montages to stitch the story beats together, and some narrative interruptions to move scenes along, but aside from that the events of the fairytale roll on seamlessly with the assistance of the grandfather’s kindly voiceover.

It is a very straightforward take. We blur in and out of scenes with the benefit of contextless visuals - the audience is encouraged to fill in the gaps of "missing" information about the world/kingdom/mechanics with generic stock tropes, most of the book's Lore isn't even hinted at. The movie is a tongue-in-cheek subversion of twee romantic films and their inherent ridiculousness - but it's just as helplessly and wholeheartedly in love with the simplicity of the tropes it employs.

IN THE BOOK:

(Where) The book begins with William Goldman (the character) dumping his tormented childhood backstory and emotional connection to The Princess Bride directly upon your doorstep; after he’s reminded of the book's existence on the day of his son’s birthday, and then later discovers the original text is nothing like the cool adventure romp he knew as a kid. That story doesn’t exist. It was fabricated. The official book translation is actually an over-bloated total bore.

(Who) Goldman explains that he will serve as your editor and guide to ‘the good parts version’ of The Princess Bride — a book his immigrant father once read to him when he was utterly delirious for weeks, hospitalized and bedridden with a sour case of pneumonia. The original Princess Bride is said to be written by S. Morgenstern, an avid political satirist from the fictional country of Florin, the historical setting of The Princess Bride, which doubles as a birthplace for Morgenstern, and incidentally, Goldman's immigrant father. He has the Florinese accent, and a connection to the story as a piece of his own personal history. Goldman insists that the best possible version of the book was the version his dad once read to him, and to make sure his kid gets the same experience, the BEST experience, he’s going to essentially edit the whole monster of a book into a proper shape. Alone. With his own two hands.

In total we have about three-to-four narrators; Current Goldman, Kid Goldman, (Arguably) Goldman’s Father, and S. Morgenstein — who’s just Goldman again under a Florinese pseudonym.

(How) The Princess Bride is written in black and red text for ease of readability. Red is reserved for Goldman’s annotations and footnotes; he tries to introduce chapters and then give context to most of the cuts he makes to the book wherever he can, but since these can be very lengthy and merciless edits (think 20+ pages trashed at a time) he uses most of the space for the purpose of ranting or explaining himself. Sometimes he will gossip about S. Morgenstein’s life and critique his narrative choices, sometimes he will vent about his coworkers and his own life, sometimes he will tell you he has written an unofficial missing reunion scene and sequel for The Princess Bride, and is trying to convince the publishing house to let him print it, and would really, really like if you phoned or mailed the company, if you’d like to be in on that sweet fucking deal. (And these outside documents could be actually mailed to you at the time, though currently the only way to access them is through preserved online copies.)

This results in a book that is constantly taking itself apart on its own terms, and that is really funny to read. The humor aspect is played up to its fullest; sometimes S. Morgenstein tells jokes, sometimes the joke is Goldman dogging on Morgenstein (and thus himself), and sometimes, the meta-humor reaches around to being about you being slightly stupefied by Goldman’s reckless self-obsessed oversharing completely taking over someone else’s story - which he had ALREADY been recklessly fucking around with to fulfill a childhood delirium.

The book is a tongue-in-cheek dissection of fairytale romances, chivalric heroes, medieval fantasy tropes, why people read stories, why people *need* stories, disappointment, dissatisfaction, and The General Feeling Of ‘Catharsis’ that can only be found by choosing to look at things a certain way even when Shit Fucking Sucks. And also taking matters into your own hands, when you can. And also, it’s a little bit wholeheartedly in love with the genuine fondness shared between its main characters? (and I don’t mean just Buttercup and Westley, Inigo and Fezzik’s friendship plays a big part)

I think you must already know where I’m going with this, but let’s bring it back to how Princess Bride shows up in Homestuck, aka: okay how the hell does any of this connect with anything?

1- The Princess Bride Movie is in line with Jake’s outlook and approach to storytelling,

And:

2- The Princess Bride Book is in line with Dirk’s outlook and approach to storytelling.

While:

3- Both of them can be associated with the respective narrator roles in each version of the story (The earnest romantic guidance of the movie’s narrating grandfather, the book’s self-obsessed Goldman & history-bloated satirist Morgenstein), and not only that; They are both close to the story’s own protagonists (Dirk as Westley, Jake as Buttercup) and the supporting duo (Inigo and Fezzik’s long time friendship definitely tips towards the softly bromoromantic)

And I believe it’s worth exploring just how we get those Princess Bride lines and fight choreography added into Homestuck in the first place:

Brain Ghost Dirk is misquoting Movie Inigo’s lines (“You killed my father” becomes “You kissed my boyfriend”) to announce his intention of protecting Jake, directly placing himself as a mix of Inigo/Westley in this situation- both these characters embody a take on the chivalric sword-swinging hero motivated by love, which is something Dirk really wants to be, but while Inigo’s core is platonic, Westley only does everything he does in the story because he loves Buttercup, and has done so since they were kids.

But then there’s that extra layer; Brain Ghost Dirk is Dirk’s splinter, yeah, but he’s also Jake’s creation, and as demonstrated by how the rest of this scene unfolds; his physical existence is wholly dependent on how desperately Jake needs him. 

There’s the whole double reacharound of creator-creation, protector-protected, how one depends on the other to keep upright, a theme that is prevalent in The Princess Bride. (Not to speak of the work’s love for satire, especially satire mixed with romance. It’s perfectly in the spirit of the thing.)

For the benefit of those unfamiliar with the story, and a refresher for those who may have forgotten, here's a brief breakdown of the character links and summary;

The Princess Bride is a medieval-fantasy tale that tells the story of Buttercup, a simple-minded farm girl who just wants to fuck around and have a silly little life, but keeps being interrupted by the text & the characters in it ceaselessly preaching about her nebulous “potential”, and how she could be one of the Most Prettiest Beautifulest Women Ever if she just Tried, despite her disinterest. (that’s our Jake)

She’s also got some really fucked up recurring night terrors to do with her arranged marriage and childbirth and her perceived “inherent inability to love” because we already knew she was a jake but I guess it had to be made real obvious. (link from my screencap thread from when I was reading it in april)

Anyway, keeping on: Westley (Dirk) is a boy who works at her parent’s farm and fulfils her every wish because he’s deeply in love with her, but she never notices; until the day a countess makes eyes at Westley, Buttercup gets jealous, and then she finally gets it. Buttercup confesses, and is seemingly rejected by Westley’s total inability to respond. (Common theme with Dirks) She’s bummed out for a bit about this, but then the next day Westley announces that he does love her, he just has to go away to America for a while and work real hard so they can actually be together. He knows he can do this, because he’s trained for this moment; day in and day out he honed his craft in his hovel. He barely even fucking sleeps.

He can speak this part for himself tbh:

Westley departs. Buttercup decides that while she waits for him, she’ll finally learn to take care of herself, maybe even realize that whole ‘potential’ business. Her efforts are laudable, but they aren’t enough. Then one day, Buttercup is told that Westley’s ship was ambushed by the Dread Pirate Roberts; they would never even see his body.

Ironically, Westley’s death and the grief Buttercup suffers from it are the last straw that unlocks her ‘true potential’.

MEANWHILE, the king of Florin is dying, and Prince Humperdinck (Jane) needs to marry to be crowned king. He doesn’t really want to get married, but the law is the law and the new king needs to have a way to make a son and keep the lineage going. Since he’s only interested in the position, but he’d rather have some clout as well, Humperdinck comes up with a plan; he will marry the most beautiful woman alive, kill her, and then pin the blame of this “mysterious attack” in a neighboring kingdom, giving him an excuse to launch a war and conquer a place he wanted to own anyway. Buttercup is also not jazzed about his proposal, but she’s coerced into accepting or dying.

Once everything is settled, three years have passed in preparation to the wedding. Humperdinck hires a band of mercenaries to kidnap Buttercup and leave her body by the neighboring kingdom of Guilder. Those are Vizzini, Fezzik and Inigo. For our point-of-comparison purposes, I’ll only dwell on Inigo: he’s a Spanish swordsman rumored to be the Best Swordsman Alive, on a bloody revenge quest to find the six-fingered-man who killed his father, and slay him in turn. He’s so good, they might even call him the wizard of sword fighting. He also has a bit of a liquor problem. Can’t touch the stuff. (It’s interesting to note that while BGD associates himself with Inigo, and much of the character’s single-drive towards strict training and revenge for a father that was killed in combat is undoubtedly dirkesque, he also has some Roxy features. This is puzzling at first. And THEN you remember that Roxy is the one who ends up killing HIC with Dirk’s unbreakable katana in [S]: Collide as a symbolic revenge for them both, and the mixed nature of his character in specific makes a lot more sense.)

But not all hope is lost. Unbeknownst to Buttercup, Westley was merely taken as the pirate’s apprentice. He’s heard of her upcoming marriage - and now her sudden kidnapping, and the rest of the story revolves around him trying to save her from her captors, dispelling the mix-up about his identity along the way. He’s kinda upset about the whole marriage thing and intends to be very bitchy about it though. (Dirks will do that.)

This is just the movie intro, or the first couple chapters of the book, so if you’re interested in reading it now to see for yourself -- you absolutely should! Some of the jokes have admittedly Aged (this is a book from 1973 after all) but I find they’re mostly clustered at the beginning/modern segments, and in the long run it’s very much worth it to stick with the story. When it's all said and done you can read it as a seamless dirkjake au.

[bellarosethefangirl]

Hi I'd like to request a matchup for mha, I don't mind who I get paired with.

I'm a pansexual 19yo, agender, and my pronouns are it/they/he.

I'm 5'1 with a chubby figure kinda like a pear. I have blue eyes with eye bags, and messy shoulder length strawberry blonde hair. My face is covered in freckles, and some acne. I would describe my style as comfortable/casual I don't really care how I look so long as I'm comfortable, I tend to stay away from bright colors, and busy patterns since they hurt my eyes.

I'm often very quiet, and keep my head down around strangers, but once I've gotten close with some I become noticeably more talkative, and excited around them. I'm very affectionate around my friends so long as their comfortable with it of course. I prefer to stay away from confrontation as it often scares me. I do have days where I become quiet, and distant from everyone this usually happens when I've been under stress, and/or I'm overstimulated.

Likes: Writing short stories, poetry, comics anything really, horror podcast, true crime, reptiles, small rodents, drawing, water color, indie rock classical music, horror, and dystopian fantasy books, rainy weather, thunderstorms, sleeping, fall season, cool/dull colors, and late nights.

Dislikes: being forced to speak, getting interrupted, most bugs, hot temperatures, large crowds, bright colors, and being yelled at.

My ideal date would be us just hanging together, we don't really to go anywhere or do anything since just being with them makes me happy. My partner could expect me to be very cuddly with them (if they're cool with it), and sometimes receive small poems I wrote for them.

Thank you.

Anime Matchups 💘

My Hero Academia

Hey I’m glad you took an interest in my matchups. I hope you like it and your welcome 😌

Kyoka Jiro

She respects your pronouns and defends you if anyone says otherwise

Kyoka seconds with you about bright colors. Even picks out dark clothes for you now that she knows.

You’re around her height so she likes it since it’s easier to kiss you. She admires your freckles and eyes. She thinks you’re cool for not caring much for your appearance. She is a bit self cautious about herself such as her chest. If you can compliment her or tell her how wonderful you think she is it would bring up her confidence. She also really appreciates it. She’ll give you a small smile.

She relates to you about being quiet then becoming comfortable once she gets to know someone. I can see you listening to music and she notices then starts a conversation. She is really into music so there’s a huge conversation starter and common hobby. She’ll love when you get excited around her and your other friends. She’ll feel more comfortable chatting. When you’re quiet and not in the best mood she’ll immediately know and be there to comfort you. She’ll want to help the best way she possibly can. If you truly want space she’ll give it to you.

She’ll become bashful when you’re affectionate with her and shyly admit she likes it.

She understands that confrontation can be scary and she’ll help you through it. She’ll be supportive and try to help you work on it as avoiding confrontation leads to more problems which she wouldn’t want for you.

She’ll support your hobbies by complimenting art, poetry, and other writing works. If you need supplies I can see her buying some for you. If not supplies the comic books and other books you’d be interested in will be gifted to you from her. She appreciates watercolor and poetry you make. She’ll gladly watch horror movie or crime shows with you. Both I can see her taking an interest in. Music is her biggest hobby so it works out for her. She wouldn’t mind stormy or rainy weather as long as she has a rain coat. She likes staying up late too so you too will be messaging each other or face timing at night.

She doesn’t mind that you like lizards and rodents. She’d pet them if you’ve got any as pets.

She would never want anyone making you uncomfortable. She’ll defend you if someone tries forcing you to speak or yelling at you. No bugs or hot temperatures will be around you thanks to her. She’ll keep note of you not wanting to be in large crowds.

Kyoka is also chill about dates. She likes spending time with you in anyway you’d like. I can see her thinking of an occasional date you two would enjoy together. She loves your cuddles when you two spend time together. She’ll bury her head in your neck peacefully. When you give her poetry she’ll get happy about it. She is flattered you’d write her poems. No one has ever written her one so it’s pretty meaningful.

This dynamic is besties turned partners. Your relationship formed from a close friendship forming into something special. The relationship progresses the more time you two spent together. After you two cuddle she’ll kiss you. You two will be so comfortable around each other and become two peas in a pod. Very nice matchup to see.

[13eyond13]

☕ Film adaptations of books

I normally prefer books to movies for things like famous literary classics, and that's mostly because I like the way books more easily let you sink into actually being a character for a while and exploring their inner life so much. I also like that I can have my own mental image of the characters and everything else, and sometimes I get frustrated by the fact that a film adaptation of a story I liked will so easily replace my own original mental image of a character with the actor instead. I specifically remember this happening to me with the Harry Potter series, and no matter how hard I tried to recall my own original imagined versions of the characters I couldn't stop seeing Daniel Radcliffe and Emma Watson and such instead.

HOWEVER I also do like that there are so many movies based on books out there, because a lot of times I find a good book through a movie or vice versa. And it can be very interesting from a writing or artistic point of view to compare the book to its movie adaptations as well. I've started doing that in an analytical way more recently, and it has been really educational at times to see how one thing can translate to another between a page and a screen. Up until the past few years the vast majority of storytelling I'd studied was movies and comics, so broadening my intake to include a lot of books and shows and even video games has definitely been super beneficial for learning more about the art of telling a good story as well.

I think that it's not really accurate to say that one medium is superior to the other when it comes to books and films, but I think that they both have their limitations and strengths and weaknesses when it comes to best telling the story that you want to tell. I've seen thousands of movies and read hundreds of books and comics and such by now, because storytelling is a huge passion for me and is basically the only thing I think about all day long, hahaha. For me movies are an excellent means to learning about visual storytelling and dialogue and plot and pacing. Also for taking in an entire story from beginning to end in a relatively short period of time, or for taking in a story in a somewhat more passively participating way. Books are often better for getting more in-depth with the characters and the world and for telling stories that can't just be easily conveyed visually or condensed into 1-3 hours of time. And books are also great for studying a type of storytelling that is done through only words on a page alone, which is definitely different than studying something like a comic. Or studying a screenplay for movies or television, which is intentionally written to not be seen as a finished product, but rather to be turned into a visual and auditory product for the screen. Books often just have a much more intimate feeling to them that I like as as well. It doesn't require nearly as much artistic collaboration to create a book as it does to create a movie, so to me it just feels more like the author is talking to you personally one-on-one.

I do get annoyed that people can very easily be elitist about being somebody who reads books, because not everybody has as easy a time reading as others, and I also think there are tons of really badly written and overhyped and boring and shallow books out there too. Lot of other types of stories in other types of mediums can often be deeper or more clever and complex and better told than something I've read in a book. But actually checking the things out for myself to see what I think instead of just believing what I hear has probably been one of the most interesting and most rewarding things in my pursuit of understanding and appreciating storytelling as a whole.

[terubakudan]

My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness by Nagata Kabi - Book Review and Impressions

(light reflection) Perfect :D Hoping Tumblr doesn't flag me for this xD

Ok, I'm going to start this off with 'this is probably the first and only book review I'm going to do' xD Because I rarely do read books now, and just as rarely buy them. Also, I would have preferred to buy the English version but alas they only had the Chinese version in stock ^^"

Stumbling upon this on the Internet, I was immediately compelled to buy this, as if I knew I would love it and that Nagata's story would resonate with me.

【Short Version】 I can't recommend this book enough, it doesn't matter what sexuality you are or from what culture are you. Nagata makes sure to tell an honest and 'naked' (without embellishments) portrait of her own personal experiences. How she herself is a college drop-out (having only graduated from high school), pushed herself to live/work while struggling with depression and eating disorders, not being sure of what she wants and feeling that she doesn't 'deserve' things, realizing her own sexuality in that she likes girls, and just not feeling 'good enough'...all through her cutesy and unassuming art style.

I will say again though, cutesy art style aside, the book deals with some very heavy topics. Nagata is very honest and doesn't shy away from the gritty details, and I admire her all the more for doing so. Many yaoi and yuri comics often portray an unrealistic and fetishistic view of the LGBTQ+ community whereas Nagata's story is much more grounded and sincere. This is not an easy read, but it's not an overly depressive one either. Nagata literally struggled for years with her mental health, but ultimately found light on the other side. Not mainly through the help of others, but through her own choice to forgive and love herself.

5/5⭐ Definitely recommend and would read again. And if I could, I'd give Nagata a big hug and a heartfelt 'thank you' for sharing her story.

【Long Version】 While it's written primarily from an Asian (particularly Japanese) perspective, Nagata's experiences are ones that should resonate with anyone who has been through the same or similar things, regardless of one's personal background. And I myself, while being fortunate enough to not have gone through eating disorders or self harm, am no exception.

I grew up in an Asian (Taiwanese/Chinese Filipino) household, while my parents weren't Tiger Parents (no offense but fuck Amy Chua for thinking that's a proper way of raising your children), they still had certain expectations on their children: to find a good husband/wife, have a good education, have a 'stable' career, etc. And while I love my parents very much, I'd be lying if I said there weren't any times where I felt they were smothering me, there weren't any times where they kept on nagging and bugging me for very trivial details. My biggest pet peeve: guilt-tripping me just for wanting to spend time alone.

"For me, my parents' opinion of me is absolute." (NOTE: While I won't be providing exact translations of the excerpts I used here, I'll do my best to summarize the gist of them.)

At the same time, I cared very much about their opinion of me. I made it a point to do well in school, to do things according to their wishes, and just like Nagata, I didn't know what I wanted. This even extended to caring about others' opinion of me, more than my own. In my freshman year of college, I 'went along' with being friends with someone, who while was nice to me, turned out to be a manipulative bitch skilled in passive-aggressiveness xD Being half-Taiwanese/half-Filipino, it was hard to fit in since people always treated me differently, it didn't occur to me I could be choosy with friends, I thought as long as they were 'nice' to me, that would do.

Asian culture is largely a collective one, where we define ourselves by our relationships with others, compared with Western culture (primarily America, I'll be using America as a reference point) where individualism is absolute, where you define yourself as you like. In Asia, it's also normal for children to still live in the same house as their parents well into adulthood, compared with Americans who are expected to move out the house once they finish high school or start college, and they're quite literally 'on their own', having to pay their own tuition, rent, etc. Where I live (Taiwan), it's normal for adults to continue relying on their parents financially well until college. Nagata for instance, while saying her parents really make her feel so pressured, is grateful that she still had a home to stay in (and she's 28!).

If you ask me though, neither a collectivist culture or an individualist culture is absolutely good nor bad. Each have their own pros and cons, and both Asian culture and Western culture could learn a thing or two from each other.

After going through quite a few job applications, one of the interviewers tells her "Ganbatte!" (You can do it!) after Nagata tells her what she really wants is to be a manga artist.

And sometimes that's all we need really, a small gesture or kind remark can do wonders. Even if there's no base or reason for it, it's something worth believing in.

I often have doubts if I'm doing what I really want, if I chose the right major for college, if I'm doing the right thing, if I'm 'good enough'. I didn't grow up with much self-esteem as a kid, and often derived my value from others. But even at my lowest times, a 'you're doing ok' was very reassuring to me, be it from family, strangers, or people I care about. Sometimes that's exactly what we need, it may be small but it could be the difference between continuing to wallow in depression or re-evaluating and choosing to be better to oneself.

I find it's really important to know, that however alone you may feel sometimes, there are other people out there going through the exact same thing. It's something universal, and while a lot of things are really unfair in life, each person has their own lot or burden to deal with. I have a Taiwanese friend who, while being more financially well-off than me, has terrible parents. And I mean parents who are quite so literally toxic, unsupportive of her, and would outright say the worst things to their own daughter.

How depression and anxiety can feel sometimes, we can literally feel like it's impossible to breathe and be in a state of disconnection from the world.

"The sounds that invaded my ears occupied my empty brain, making me unable to think at all."

If you only did what your parents asked you to do, wouldn't days like those be very painful? In the end, only you can understand what you really want.

Nagata's art style is one I would describe as simple, cute, and effective. I personally think had her story been drawn in a more serious style, it would have been even harder to read, much less finish. It's also a choice that has artistic appeal to me, serious subject matter juxtaposed with a 'kawaii' art style.

Nagata also depicts very well her mental state and thoughts throughout her struggle and journey to self-actualization. Depression is a really tough thing to deal with, and sometimes we don't even realize that we have it or if we do, refuse to acknowledge it. In Asian cultures especially, mental health has always been something of a taboo subject and there is a very heavy social stigma associated with it. Nagata herself even said that her parents seemingly refused to acknowledge that their daughter's mental health was in a state of distress. In Japan, there is a concept called gaman (我慢), which is described as 'enduring the seemingly unbearable with patience and dignity', and while it is portrayed as an ideal virtue that inspires perseverance, it can be a source of heavy pressure for others. Gaman also means that you are expected to suppress whatever emotion or negative feelings you have, often for the sake of others and no matter how tough the situation becomes for you. And while I agree that through gaman you can become more selfless for others, it shouldn't have to come at the expense of your own well-being.

I was quite fortunate to have grown up in a more liberal Asian household, but even when it came to mental health, our family also adopted the same kind of attitude towards it, by carrying on as if nothing was wrong, or just not talking about it. And to be honest, there were numerous times I wished we had been more open about what was bothering ourselves at that time. Talking and being open about your feelings is not a 'weakness' but something incredibly brave to do, and it's my wish for that to slowly become more acceptable in Asian cultures, which I know is kind of a stretch, but it doesn't hurt to hope.

Nagata makes the decision to clean herself up, by taking a bath everyday, habitually exercising, and no longer wearing worn-out clothes.

Depression especially can be a bitch. It deprives you even of your physiological needs, like your need for food. Nagata had to struggle with that on top of eating disorders for a long ten years. She ate so little and even felt that she didn't 'deserve' to eat, and at one point, anorexia became hyperphagia, and she would feel so guilty for eating almost expired/expired food. Things that would otherwise be simple to do also end up becoming difficult/impossible to do, like taking care of your personal hygiene, getting up from bed, doing simple tasks etc.

Thankfully, after Nagata realizes that she never truly 'valued herself', she starts to turn over a new leaf. Even just starting with cleaning herself up, she takes this as a form of 'valuing oneself' and her mood starts to improve, which her family also points out. In the end, taking care of yourself is not a selfish thing to do, it can even make you a better person who is there for others.

Nagata meets up with the female escort she hired, as a means to experience human sexuality, which she had always repressed her curiosity for and treated as a taboo subject. (NOTE: And I'm glad that she met a really nice girl for her first time too!)

Sex and sexuality is also a subject that I feel is hard to talk about sometimes, which I think also owes itself to most Asian cultures being relatively conservative about it. I myself have only recently identified as bisexual, which I attribute to internalized homophobia, not wanting to admit I was into girls too. And to be honest, 'coming out' is something I'm still uncomfortable about, because I don't want to risk my relationship with my family and it's still something I would choose to be selective about with colleagues and friends. I'm grateful though that as crazy the Internet can be sometimes, it can be quite accepting and tolerant towards things that we wouldn't otherwise discuss with even the closest people in our circle. Nagata's memoir ended up capturing the hearts of many readers ever since she first published it on Pixiv.

Exploring your sexuality doesn't have to be scary, it should be something exciting and liberating. Nagata decided to take matters into her own hands, and while the days leading up to the encounter made her really nervous and she even considered not going through with it at all, she willed herself to continue, because she wanted to do this for herself, it would be pointless if she gave up after coming so far in her decision to value herself.

And it's these series of actions that she decided to do that ultimately led to her life turning out for the better, it gave her the courage to do what she always wanted: to be a manga artist, which lead to the publishing of this autobiographical memoir, something she wanted to create that would 'make people want to buy this book' and from her own preference for reading stories that 'speak of secrets people wouldn't want to tell others'.

Nagata mentions what she calls 'honey': something that varies from person to person. It could be your reason for living, that thing that drives/pushes you, or even your sense of belonging. It may not be something permanent, but you can always find yourself a new one. (she mentions the last time she had her 'honey' was during her high school days, and while she has grown apart from the friends she made, she has found her new 'honey' in the form of being a full-time manga artist.)

Nagata stumbles and trips a lot on her way to being a better version of herself, but who doesn't? She admits to things not necessarily being smooth, but at least she's doing better than before. And it's that decision to at least try that counts. We don't have to be perfect, we're all human after all.

TL;DR My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness is a honest, down-to-earth, and ultimately hopeful memoir about the struggles of mental health and learning about one's sexuality. It's an amazing book, and very much worth the buy.

A big thank you if you read through all of this too. I know it's a mess and writing isn't exactly my strong point, but hopefully I've convinced some people out there to give this book a read! Please feel free to share your thoughts and I'd appreciate it very much too if you reblog/like this post.

[bigskydreaming]

Hey, any comic recs to ensure that I get Dick Grayson character right? Other batfam included, if you're willing. I'm trying to make sure I don't write a character completely ooc, because that drives me up the WALL when I read that. However, since I dubbed you the #1 Dick Grayson person, I thought I'd ask you to make sure I do him justice rather than a smear campaign or something lol! Thanks! ALSO TELL ME YOUR THOUGHTS ABOUT THE TITANS SHOW! That's all xD

LOL thanks I appreciate it, but while I’m good for the rants, for actual comics recs I would go to the likes of @northoftheroad, @hood-ex, and @nightwingmyboi because they’re a lot better than I am at knowing where to find specific stuff and comprehensive reading lists! I tend to jump all over the place in terms of my go-to comics for Dick.....I’m always on about Robin: Year One but I’m like eh Nightwing: Year One is pretty trash tbh. I prefer pre-Flashpoint continuity overall but I did enjoy some of the early Nightwing Rebirth stuff and before that the pre-Forever Evil New 52 stuff had some good beats. But for the most part, my favorite Dick Grayson tends to be him as a member of teams like the Titans....he shines most in ensembles, I think, because his strengths ultimately are that like...he gets people, he knows how people work, and he knows how to get the most out of the people he’s with, how to make people gel and get in sync and become more than just the sum of their parts.

(Speaking of nightwingmyboi, haven’t seen them posting in awhile, anyone know what they’re up to? Hope everything’s okay!)

Which brings me to the problems with the Titans show. There’s a lot I like about it - Anna Diop and Ryan Potter in particular - and a lot I was never gonna like about it - I’m heavy on the Ugh why must Dick Grayson be a cop ever why is that a thing make it stop. And so while I don’t think Brenton Thwaites does like, a bad job with the role or anything, there was always kinda a ceiling on how attached to or invested in his take on the character I was ever gonna reach.

But Season 2. Oof. Let’s talk about Season 2, and how so many of the problems with it are identical to the problems that surround Dick in the comics, but also aren’t limited to just his character or DC and just as equally show up in all kinds of media. Like, I could have (and probably did) offer an identical rant about the role of Scott McCall in TW’s S5.

The problem is one I’ve kinda taken to calling in my head “The Ensemble Lone Wolf Effect.”

This is when writers have a character they nominally want to be part of an ensemble....but that they repeatedly go back to the well of “this character should however spend most of their time on their own, or are more natural on their own, or just wants to be on their own, or also sometimes they just deserve to be on their own cuz they suck for Reasons we decline to specify.”

But its that thing of wanting it both ways....believing a character honestly NEEDS to be a loner or off on their own for the sake of their story, but also still wanting to utilize them as part of an ensemble, not willing to actually MAKE them a solo character, and so it kinda creates this never-ending feedback loop wherein they pay lip service to the character being part of an ensemble, but that’s never really on display, which creates a lot of unnecessary conflict among characters that’s to NONE of their benefits.

(And honestly in the comics, you could apply this to pretty much all the Batfam at times...not just Dick. They do it with Bruce ALL the time, they’re doing it with Damian right now, did it with Tim with Red Robin, Jason most of the time he’s not with the Outlaws and Cass most of the time she’s not with Babs or Steph or the Outsiders. As well as Babs herself at times).

Basically what I’m talking about here is like....so much of the drama in S2....and specifically the parts that most every fan I saw had issues with....came about not organically, because it made sense for the characters to behave that way, but solely in order to launch a specific plot, that the writers clearly wanted for S2:

And that was Dick Grayson off on his own, at his lowest, facing his demons on a solo journey of self-discovery the writers clearly deemed necessary before he could find himself as Nightwing and rise to his most heroic self.

Now the thing is....this isn’t inherently a bad plot or a problem. The problem lies in how they went about it.

Because rather than looking at the overall story and saying okay, that’s what we want to do with Dick Grayson, that’s what we want for HIS story, now how do we get that and where do we take it from there, rather than looking at that as just a STARTING point, and engineering a plot that grows OUT of that.....

The writers just started out by viewing that as an ENDPOINT, and reverse engineered a way to get Dick TO that point first and foremost....at the expense of so many characters who then basically turned on him and held him solely responsible for the things many of them also had a hand in....purely to get him off on his own and isolated.

But that was never necessary!

Because Dick’s character contains multitudes when it comes to guilt and self-blame, everyone knows that. He never needed anyone else to blame him for what happened to Joey because he blamed himself. So the second they conceived of the plot “Slade wants revenge for something Dick at least blames himself for”.....they had all the ingredients needed for Dick to decide proactively that the best way to protect everyone was to put distance between him and them, that he should try and hunt down Slade on his own, solve this between just the two of them.

And that should have been the STARTING point, for that narrative journey of self-exploration, not that journey resulting as an ENDPOINT in and of itself from Dick being FORCED into a kind of isolation by the others all blaming him.

Because now see what ripple effects result:

Now, the other characters are just as able to focus on their own individual storylines as they were in the show, with the additional concern of wanting to ACTUALLY find Dick and figure out what’s going on with him or tell him they still want to help....without this in any way needing to distract them from their own storylines, practically speaking, or cut into Dick’s narrative alone-time, because as part of the equation you ALSO have Slade, who has his own wants and agendas, not to mention tactics. And Slade’s perfectly capable of and willing to work with others, or utilize the long game, or engage in a game of cat and mouse as a distraction...there are numerous ways that you could engineer a plot FROM these motivations that allows him to keep the rest of the Titans distracted and even targeted individually, without allowing them to group back up with Dick or Dick to even know that they’re in danger and that his attempts to avoid that backfired.

You want the characters isolated and divided? The PLOT can do that for you. You don’t need the characters to do that to themselves.

IMO, most if not all stories are meant to advance characters, first and foremost. Take Characters A-Z and leave them different from how you found them. Move them to a different position in their lives as much as anything else, from where they began. The goal is character DEVELOPMENT.

What this means, in my book, is that the plot should serve the characters, NOT the other way around. The plot should grow FROM the characters and what they would or would not do....the characters should never have to be forced to FIT INTO a plot.

That’s backwards.

There shouldn’t be any need to reverse engineer a certain starting point, characterwise.

Just like....start the plot, plotwise....and from the moment you first introduce a single plot element, prioritize how would the characters react and BUILD from there.

The only engineering you should need to do is how to get to an eventual END point....which is still all about the forward momentum, not backing your way into anything.

Its one thing to have an endgoal for your plot, a point in character or narrative development that you want characters to reach. But its all about perspective. About keeping that what you’re working towards rather than something that you like, have to reach before you can even really BEGIN.

Which is what Titans S2 did. The real GOAL of the season in terms of Dick’s storyline, was his solo journey of self-discovery. But there’s a million different ways they could have LAUNCHED that journey, without it having to be the forced and contrived outcome of events and character decisions that literally only existed to initiate a journey that never required a forced initiation.

And so all this narrative energy gets utterly wasted and expended on stuff that it just flat out doesn’t need to be spent on in the first place....instead of just putting that same energy to use building forward-facing storylines for ALL the characters, that don’t require contrived spats of disharmony when the goal of such moments isn’t even the disharmony but rather just that they’re kept apart, the end RESULT of the disharmony.

Imagine what S2 could have built if instead of wasting time, characterization and energy on getting to a point they could have simply started from if they’d simply looked at it that way and chosen to just....start. If they’d applied all that to building across the board, everyone’s story in service to their own character first and foremost, no tangled feedback loops making characters regress or cycle through the same behavior or narrative positionings over and over again in order to not get in each other’s way or cross paths at a time when the show didn’t want them to cross paths....because rather than make all these characters work at cross purposes, they’re all on the same page, they still want the same things....you’re simply engineering from their own natural characterizations and organic decisions and reactions, ways the PLOT can be utilized as a TOOL, to keep them moving forward in their own respective chapters, WITHOUT their characters having to be bent out of their natural shapes or forced into niches that don’t really suit them, just to keep them, PREVENT them, from more naturally or organically making a choice or action that would ‘get in the way’ of the plot.

Bottom line......the plot is supposed to be there to advance the characters, because the characters are what we come to stories for. The characters are who we invest in, relate to, ROOT for.

The characters aren’t there to advance the plot. We’re not here to yell yeah, I really hope the writers do whatever it takes with characters, no matter how backwards or unnatural it seems, just to get that sweet sweet and oh so specific ending we want that is in no way dependent on how invested or not we ACTUALLY are in the characters by the time it arrives, in order for it to actually be effective or not!

Lol. Y’know?

So yeah, that’s my biggest gripe with Titans so far. I’m still eager to see what happens between Kory and her sister, and although I’m not thrilled it seems to be becoming Batfam Straight Outta Gotham rather than like, Titans: The Show, I admit I am curious about what take they’ll go with for Babs. As I still pretty vividly recall that weird as hell Birds of Prey show the CW or UPN or WB or whatever it was at the time did for one season, where Babs was honestly not terribly adapted despite the show otherwise bearing like, zero in common with any existing DC property or character (do not even get me STARTED on their takes on Dinah and Helena, no, blehrrible, those were bad, those were like super bad)....anyway, I’m kinda curious even if it wouldn’t have been my choice for what direction the show should take. Not that I have a specific one in mind, just, yeah. And I also kinda would not hate if we got a new Roy Harper now, to replace the not!Roy of Arrow, because I don’t know him, no seriously, who is that, its not Roy Harper.

[doitwritenow]

I'd ask all 35 of the ask game, but I feel that might be a little too much. Instead, I'll choose: 2, 5, 6, 7, 12, 23, 29, 31, 33, and... oh that's way too many. Uhhh, feel free to not answer some if you feel overwhelmed. If not, go ham! I'd love to read more about your writing/writing process. :)

Oh WOW thank you! These are so fun. Hm...

2. Why do you write fanfiction?  Recently answered this one! Here’s what I said: I write fic because of the spaces between the lines of a story. The gaps and unanswered questions in canon encourage me to come up with deeper mechanics, more complicated lore, and complex character motivations in order to explain. Sometimes, one of those pieces will click into canon so well that it becomes inspiration. And then there’s nothing else to do but write! Lol. Stories are so wonderful because of what we can do with them, individually and all together, and I really like being a part of that. 

5. What’s the fic you’re most proud of? While EoI is kind of my magnum opus, I really really adore Sunrise Loves To Go Down. Something came together in that fic, some tone and some thread of style, and I am immensely proud of how it turned out. I started writing it when I had been evacuated from my house due to a wildfire, lying on a hotel bed and typing on my phone in the middle of the night, and so it felt different to write than my other works. Maybe that’s why it feels different to read, too.

6. What element of writing do you find comes easily? Easily? I have to say dialogue. It’s often my favorite part of any scene, and I love the way it determines tone and establishes character. Though it’s not my absolute favorite part of writing, I dance through dialogue scenes feeling like I’m on a caffeine high. Of course, lots of times getting dialogue right is a lot of work, but there’s an ease to it that some things don’t have. 

7. What element of writing do you struggle with most? Hnnnngk the answer is pacing. It’s pacing. I struggle to pace things. I do enjoy long projects and feel proud of my ability to commit to them, don’t get me wrong. But I’d love to get better at structuring a plot to allow for the same tone without needing an overly generous amount of words. My go-to answer with pacing is always ‘write more’, but I don’t think that’s always strictly necessary. I want to be able to use the other tools in my arsenal to tell a story that’s just as complete but even more gripping.  Me: *challenges pacing to a death battle* Me: *dies*

12. Tell us about a WIP you’re excited about. Okay so a friend and I were laughing about how funny it could be to write about what happens to Odin after Loki sticks him in a retirement home on Earth. The Mystic Artists would obviously know he was there, what with all that cosmic threat sensing bullshit, and things would devolve from there. Like, can you imagine? The Adventures of Odin Allfather and the Home for Elderly People. Series of one-shots. Each titled something like: Odin vs. Thursday Bingo. Odin vs. His Roomate. Odin vs. the Grumpy Wizard. Odin vs. the Craft Store. And slowly other characters start to show up. Ned’s grandma is in the same nursing home, and he and Odin hit it off, so obviously Ned introduces him to Peter. Stephen comes to check up on him occasionally and Odin stages the most dramatic escape attempts of all time with no real intention of going anywhere. Now I dislike Odin in canon but how comical could that be I’m serious--

23. Do you prefer prompts and challenges, or completely independent ideas? I like prompts and challenges, but generally I work best with completely independent ideas. I can’t force my one-shot muse, so whenever it strikes I buckle down and write there and then. So yeah, prompts and challenges are really fun, but the inspiration has its own plans for my hapless self.

29. Have you ever gone outside of your comfort zone for a fic? How did it turn out? Comfort zone? What comfort zone? Lol. I suppose I do have bounds of what I’m willing to write and share, but they’re not particularly limiting. Each story I write extends the limits of what I’m used to; I try not to hesitate. And most of the time, I like where things end up! 

31. Do you have any OCs? Tell us about them! OCS YES I DO HAVE OCS THANKS FOR ASKING. Most of my Marvel OCs show up in EoI or were created specifically for it. But I have some other lovelies floating around, my three favorites being: - Silas Ewyn, a necromancer detective. He’s basically a vigilante archeologist, using his abilities to interact with bones to solve the mysteries of foul play victims. Silas doesn't care about politics or reasons; all he cares about is facts and bringing voices back to the dead. In the lawless Roughs (yeah, he’s a cowboy, fight me) he takes that justice back into his own hands. Though he doesn't kill, he'll go to great lengths to punish perpetrators, and he always takes a bone of the murder to bury with the bones of the victim to ensure the victim gets their justice in the afterlife, too. Which bone depends on the severity of the murder. During one of Silas’s investigations, however, he was murdered himself. Oops. But he woke up three days later with his soul rattling around in an entirely different body with no memory of the event. The only way for him to discover the truth is if he finds his old bones and solves a whole new murder... His own.  Anyway I love him and I could talk forever about the truth behind his murder and all the details of the Roughs and everything but we’ve got a limited amount of time and I still have to tell you about: - Sohcahtoa and Pemdas! If their names look like math acronyms, that’s because they are. Sohcahtoa and Pemdas are kind of children’s comic book characters in my mind? Sohcahtoa is a superhero; she travels through the Sciverse bringing people together and solving scientific and mathematical problems between others who are concepts come to life. With her meter-stick sword and her protractor throwing star, she’s a force to be reconed with!  Pemdas is her trusty sidekick. He’s a cuttlefish with immense knowledge of operations and formulas, and Sohcahtoa keeps him in a cube on her belt. Pemdas checks her math and gives her any theorems or formulas she might need.  Lol I’m a nerd next question.

33. Is there anything you wish your audience knew about your writing or writing process? Just want to say: I’m not some sort of warlock, I promise! The reason I can post so consistently for EoI is not always because I write consistently; it’s because I have a cushion of chapters between what I’m writing and what I’m posting. Sometimes I’m completely barren of words and I can’t write for days on end, and sometimes I just fly through things in hours. But all that inconsistency balances itself out in the end and keeps the chapter cushion intact, so my readers get to see only me looking like I have everything under control. I’m just as chaotic as you, I promise.  (Prophets is not like this with the chapter cushion. I am a bad girl when it comes to Prophets. XD instant gratification is my arch nemesis.) 

Anyway! This was super fun Ish. Thanks for the ask! 

[ibmiller]

Hey so you seem to know stuff about Steph (obviously) and mid-2000s Batman stuff, do you have any ideas about what might've changed if War Games hadn't happened? This is something I've been poking at but there's a lot of major events going on in the comics at that general point in time and it gets confusing, I'm pretty sure Tim and Cass wouldn't be in Bludhaven for instance (would Tim even be back as Robin?) but I can't guess at much else and I'd like some more knowledgeable input

Thanks for the question!

I think the question of “what would have happened without War Games” is really a question of “what would have happened if DC hadn’t decided to go grim and edgy in 2004-2006″. To me, that means a couple of things.

1) Identity Crisis doesn’t happen, or if it does, they don’t push to have it include rape, heroes becoming murderers and brainwashers, and deaths calculated to be as nasty as possible. In terms of the Batfamily, I’m speaking specifically about the death of Tim’s father.

2) Infinite Crisis isn’t as destructive, both in-universe (with Cass not going evil), or out of universe (with Greg Rucka getting fired from Wonder Woman - I just did a runthrough on Comichron to see what his sales were like, and there was definitely an artificial boost from the various tie-ins he’d gotten, but it seemed like they could have let him do at least one more year on the book). One Year Later is a huge mixed bag, with an attempt to push both lighter, more fun and hopeful directions (with Paul Dini and to some extent Grant Morrison in the Batman stuff) and really dark, grim stuff, with the weekly miniseries “52″ covering both sides of that push.

Obviously, these are some of the events you’re talking about when you say that comics from about 2004-2007 were quite confusing. As someone who simply doesn’t read anything with “Crisis” in the title, I’m not a huge help to you on that front (outside of reading wiki summaries :) ), but I do think that there was a real problem from the end of War Games to the beginning of Grant Morrison’s “Bat-Epic” (in roughly 2006-7). You do have some fondly remembered things, most noteably “Under the Hood/Under the Red Hood” where Jason returns, but outside of the fact of his return, I think more people seem to fondly remember the animated version of that storyline, rather than the actual story. What DC chose to do with Jason for the next 4 years was kind of frustrating, too.

I would be very curious to know how much the architects of War Games knew about Jason’s return. People say that Hush, in 2003, foreshadowed Jason’s return, but so much of War Games was hammering home two things:

1) Batman is super sad because Jason is super dead and will never come back

2) Stephanie is too much like Jason, including being dead

In terms of the nitty gritty: If you remove War Games, you probably also have to remove Identity Crisis when it comes to Tim’s storyline, because so much of what they built for that character had to do with him being sad and alone because Steph and his dad die, and there’s all the drama of him being Robin because his father finds out. Honestly, once his father found out, his father was almost certainly dead, because DC wasn’t cool with people knowing Batman’s secret identity back then (these days they seem much less hardcore about it, though they don’t give it out like candy). So I think Tim’s father wouldn’t have found out, and Tim wouldn’t have quit, thus Steph wouldn’t have been Robin. All of those massive changes were just put in to service the overall story of War Games and Identity Crisis, and make Tim sadder. 

Cass had some fun stuff going on in Bludhaven, but her character was kind of aimless due to creative shifts (it’s been a few years since I did my blitz through her solo series, and I didn’t make careful note of issues or dates, so I’ll be interested to see what Cass fans have to say about my impressions here). It’s actually an interesting question if the writer during War Games, Dylan Horrocks, would have quit if War Games hadn’t happened, since it seems to me that he was deeply unhappy with having to write that story, and it contributed to the problems which led to him leaving the title. Many Cass fans are a bit torn about Horrock’s run, so I don’t know, long term, if they would have been excited about that, or would have preferred Gabrych to come on when he did. I don’t know who pitched the end of Cass’s series being the revelation that Shiva is her mother, but a lot of that seems directly tied into the fallout of War Games (with dead Steph appearing in a dream), so it’s possible that either they wouldn’t have chosen that direction for Cass, or it wouldn’t have been as harsh an ending as it turned out to be for the title.

The other major Bat-title that I know about from that time is Birds of Prey. That period was smack in the middle of Gail Simone’s amazing first run. That book was profoundly impacted by War Games - the Birds’ main base, the Clocktower, was blown up, and they moved out of Gotham and started having more international adventures again (as they did in the Chuck Dixon run). This was all part of the “Make Batman be alone again” plan, and was stupid - but Simone did a wonderful job, showing Dinah (who’d mentored Steph a few times) mourning, and Babs using Steph’s story to scare Misfit into not claiming the Batgirl title for herself. The Birds title didn’t often impact the main Batman line, and it’s unlikely that much would have changed in terms of the storylines Simone wanted to tell. But the framing likely would have changed significantly - she might have not set as many stories outside of Gotham, and she might have been able to write her favorite Batman (the hugger) a bit more.

Without those two stories, I think Tim continues to be Robin, and Steph probably continues to be a fun girlfriend, but not really growing or changing that much (both Jon Lewis and Bill Willingham liked using her, but didn’t really seem to have any plotlines devoted to her that weren’t editorially dictated). Without a Chuck Dixon, Bryan Q. Miller, or James Tynion, Steph was probably just going to keep being a supporting character, instead of getting a chance to be a solo or lead. This one fact, actually, is a large part of why, even with how stupid the event got, I’m somewhat glad that War Games happened, because Steph got three months as a lead, solo character, and fans really rallied to her, and even more after her death felt so unfair. Without that, I think her fans would have continued at pretty low levels - people loved her, but they didn’t see her as representative of something really key - the outsider who desperately wanted to be in. Without War Games, we don’t get the redemption story of her Batgirl run, and we don’t get fans who cheered when James Tynion brought her back as Spoiler in Batman Eternal.

[fire-bear]

Do you want more prompts? I'd also like sentence #14.

God, I finally finished this. I didn’t think I would. =/

Sort Of Warnings: Al is a little OOC - but he’s meant to be that way for reasons. Also, there’s very little in the way of USUK - this is like the start of an epic story which will play out over time, space and- Well. More space than time.

Oh, the title for this is probably more for the chapter this kind of is rather than the entire story. Though, it could apply to the story, too, I suppose.

RescueMission

“InGaLE base, this is the Kunoichi. We are currentlyon our way back from the Talbia mission – full report will beprovided upon our return but it looks like there won’t be troublearound there any more. Please advise on any other missions to beundertaken in this quadrant.” Finished with his transmission,Matthew adjusted his headphones as he waited for the answer.

Behind him, Al hovered, hoping they’d get anothermission. He’d enjoyed the brief fight with the pirates but it seemedthe InterGalactic Law Enforcement logo was more than enough for themto retreat. Sure, they’d followed them to make sure they wouldn’treturn as soon as they left. Andthey got to stay on the planet and drink in some of the culture whilethey waited to see if the pirates would return. All three of the teamhad been fawned over and Al had been interested in the reactions fromMatthew and Kiku – it had helped his learning and he now knew thatthey had both enjoyed and were embarrassed by both the female andmale Talbians’ attentions.

“Al,” said Matthew, suddenly, turning to look athim. “I’ve told you before – stop that.”

“But I wanna know what’s happening!” Al protested,whining a little.

“Don’t you need to charge?” Kiku asked from hisseat at the pilot’s station.

“Nope,” Al replied. “My improved lithium-ionbatteries last much longer than previous batteries and will only needto be charged every four months. They will need to be replaced infive years but should not be cause for concern.”

Matthew sighed. “Obviously your learning softwarehasn’t updated to include reading the atmosphere, huh?”

Tilting his head, Al blinked. “You’ve said thatbefore. I’m still not sure how I’m supposed to do that. You never saywhether you mean pressure or air content or something else.”

Just as Matthew opened his mouth to reply, he turnedback to his station. Evidently, the base was responding. Al eagerlywatched him, listening to his end of the conversation. “Yes, sir,”Matthew said. “It shouldn’t take us too long to check that out.We’ll get in contact with you when we’ve made contact. Thank you,sir.”

“Checked what out?” Al immediately demanded. “Arewe freeing slaves from the Loo'oo'oos planet? Are we helping tooverthrow an evil dictator in one of the Groag galaxies? Is itpirates again? Are we gonna fight pirates?”

Rolling his eyes, Matthew sent the coordinates from hisscreen to Kiku’s monitor so he could change their route. “The basehas picked up a very weak distress signal from Ranar. We’ve to checkit out and help anyone who needs it.”

“Ranar?” said Al,pouting. “But that’s uninhabited and boring!”

“But,” Kiku piped up, “if we don’t go to help,you won’t get to be a hero.”

Al blinked, processing the statement. “Oh,” hesaid. “Well, we gotta get there quick, then. ‘Specially if they’rein distress – gotta save 'em before something happens!”

“Don’t worry,” Kiku said, smiling at him in thatway he did when he was feeling both amused and fond. “We’re only anhour away by light speed.”

For Al, an hour was way too long.

Considering the length of time it had taken to get tothis part of their jurisdiction from the base and the smooth runningof their new ship, he’d seen all there was to see on the ship. Therewere no need to read books – all the contents of them weredownloaded into his head as soon as he linked up with the tablet theywere stored on. He preferred the comics back at base, anyway, butMatthew and Kiku were fans of novels and manga and that’s all theyhad on the ship. Sure, manga was cool, but it had taken long for himto download everything the other two crew members had brought. It wasthe same problem with the movies and don’t get him started on thevideo games he could master in seconds.

So all he could do was pace the length and breadth ofthe ship, returning to the bridge every few minutes. Eventually,Matthew snapped.

“Dammit, Al, just sit down!”

“Meanie,” Al grumbled and plopped down onto hischair, probably damaging a few circuits from the force he landed.

“We’re not too far away now,” Kiku assured him.

Matthew nodded and turned to his screen. “Yeah, I’mpicking up the distress signal now. I’ll put it through thespeakers.”

Instantly, a man’s voice began to fill the bridge, hisaccent neutral but evidently a human. “Mayday, mayday. This is theAsterales requesting immediate assistance. Our ship has been damagedby pirates and, unless we receive parts for our engine, we will beunable to leave Ranar or survive for much longer. Mayday, mayday.This is the-”

“Asterales?” said Al, frowning. “I don’t have anydata on that ship.”

“So it shouldn’t have been a target for thepirates…” Matthew murmured. “What in the universe happened?”

“Did they stumble onto something the pirates didn’twant them to know, do you think?” Kiku asked. “This could be farmore serious than we thought.”

“We still have to go check it out,” Matthew pointedout. “We’ll just have to be more cautious when we descend, in caseit’s some sort of trap.”

“Ah,” said Kiku as an alert sounded on his screen.“We’re approaching Ranar.”

The next few minutes were taken up by the routine ofscanning for potential threats, steering their ship into orbit,scanning for the downed ship and dropping into the atmosphere. Almainly ran on automatic; he could do all this with his eyes closed.Though, from past experience, he knew that Matthew and Kiku preferredhim to keep them open.

They set down not far from the stranded ship. It was adirty brown and seemed to be a cargo ship. Al updated the informationhe had on the Asterales, making sure to take an optical picture forlater reference. It seemed to lie where it had landed, at a rightangle to a massive rock. There were several massive dents in themetalwork and the door seemed to be stuck slightly open. Nobody couldbe seen moving about and no-one seemed to be coming to greet them.

Glancing at the other two, Matthew grimaced. “Thescans showed signs of life but the hull of the ship is so thick, Ican’t tell how many there are or what state they’re in. I hopethey’re all right…”

“There’s only one way to find out!” Al exclaimedand immediately made his way to the airlock. From the scramblingnoises behind him, he knew that the other two were following.

Despite being uninhabited, the air was breathable andthe gravity only a smidgeon stronger then that of Earth and theirship. It wasn’t enough for Matthew or Kiku to notice but Al did andquickly adjusted all his mechanics in order to be able to operate atfull capacity. Matthew and Kiku had quickly dressed in their officialuniforms, the black jumpsuits with gloves and helmets and protectivevests. Of course, the vests only protected against the lower range oflaser blasts, knives and some of the lower velocity projectiles. Alwould make sure they didn’t need to rely on them, though.

The terrain itselfseemed to be a desert or wasteland of some sort. Huge rocks stoppedanyone from seeing too far into the horizon. Beneath their feet,stones crunched against the hard earth, cracks creating interestingpatterns for miles around. There were no noises except for a slightwind whistling through the valleys created by the rocks and cliffs.Occasionally, a skittering sound of stones being disturbed soundedfrom far away and Al had to wonder if the wind was dislodging them orif it was an animal of some sort. Or maybe it was a ghost.

Before Al could give a whimper at that thought, thewonky door shifted slightly. All three of the law enforcementofficers froze, eyeing them. Matthew and Kiku kept a tight grip ontheir weapons as they watched the door being moved aside. Finally,someone emerged and approached the group, taking slow, deliberatesteps. They stopped some distance away, close enough for the officersto make them out but far enough that he could turn and run forshelter should they attack them.

Whoever they werelooking at was completely covered up. Large, black boots came up totheir knees and brown trousers were tucked into them, a shiny beltbuckle reflecting the meagre sunlight. A long-sleeved, dirty-whiteshirt was tucked into a pair of black, leather gloves. Covering theirhead and shoulders from view was a long, deep green cloak, tiedsecurely around the person’s neck. Usually, Al would assume he wouldneed to switch to a different language to be understood since onlynatives of the outer planets wore cloaks. Instead, his opticalscanners picked up that the clothes – including the cloak – weremade of materials from Earth and deduced that the person was just ahuman with an outdated sense of fashion.

It took a few seconds(exactly 8.04 seconds, actually) for anyone to do anything. Then,deciding that they were all taking too long to do something, Alstepped around Matthew and Kiku to move towards the person. Theyimmediately stepped back but otherwise didn’t seem to react. “Hi,”Al said, smiling wide. “I am Al-senth, a beta personality android.The best betapersonality android, actually. Though, there’s only four of us sofar. Maybe five; they were making another one when we left the base.Ah! This is Matthew – he’s the captain. And this is Kiku – he’s,like, the vice-captain. But he’s also the-”

“Do all you beta personality androids talk so much?”asked the person and Al recognised it as the man who had sent out thedistress signal.

“Nope! Fel does, of course, but Lov is grumpy andtells us to shut up all the time. And Lud is quiet… Well, till Feldoes something bad and he yells at him. The fifth one was gonna be awoman, I think. Dunno what she’d be like.”

“They’re… they’regiving you individual personalities?” asked the person. There was ashort pause. “But… they’re programmingyou to be that way, right?”

“That’s right! It’s to help us protect humans muchbetter than any of the previous androids and without any of theglitches.”

The person snorted.“Sure. Glitches.”

“Are you the only one here?” Matthew interjected.

“No.”

A short silence descended. “Er…” said Kiku,eventually. “Are you the captain, then?”

“No.”

“Then, um…” said Matthew.

“My distress signal specifically stated the need forparts for our engine. Do you have any with you?”

Matthew’s eyes narrowed; Al deduced that he didn’t likethe person’s tone. “We will need to inspect-”

“Quiet!” the person suddenly said, his headturning. Everyone froze, listening. All Al could hear was thecontinued whistling of the wind, the skittering of rocks, thebreathing of his comrades and… Was that the sifting of sand?“There’s a storm coming. They can be violent and sudden on thisplanet. Get inside.” Then, without waiting for them to agree ordisagree, the person turned and stalked back to their ship.

Kiku raised an eyebrow at Matthew who shrugged and puthis gun into his holster – though he made sure it would be easilydrawn. Then he followed the person, Al right behind him (scanning theimmediate area to confirm what the man had said) and Kiku brought upthe rear, his own gun now in its holster as well. They soon reachedthe ship and Al took the moment to scan it now that he was closer,looking for any information he could glean from it. Not being in thedatabases available to the InGaLE was an oddity unless it was new orhad been unused for some time. This ship looked as though it wasusually well-cared for but also quite old. Al frowned at it; had thename of the ship been changed at some point?

The person held the door out of the way for them asthey entered. The corridors beyond were dark and Al immediately drewout his flashlight. “We have no power,” the person told them. “Doyou have any torches?”

Al flicked his on. “Yup!” he declared as hiscrewmates fumbled for their own.

“Good,” said the person and pulled the door shut,plunging them into a more pressing darkness. There were threeseparate clicks and three more flashlights threw out light. “Becareful,” the person said, reaching up with their free hand. “Whenwe crashed here, everything went everywhere and I haven’t had achance to clean up yet.” With that said, he pulled the hood fromhis head.

Due to Al’s enhanced sight, he was able to make outmuch more about the person before them than the other officers could.The person was definitely a human man. He had messy, blond hair whichlooked like it hadn’t been brushed in a few days. His eyes were avibrant green, the sort of colour Al wouldn’t have expected in anyonebar a 'senth. Above them were a couple of really bushy eyebrows: itlooked as though someone had stuck too much hair there by accident.His facial structure was what humans would deem 'perfect’: straightnose, not too big or small; strong-looking jaw; and his cheekboneswere well-defined. Even his lips were perfect, plump and full. Alsuspected that many people would find the man handsome.

“This way,” the man said and stepped past the smallgroup to lead them through the dead ship.

In Al’s opinion, it was creepy. Everything was stilland silent. Every time they rounded a corner, he half-expectedsomething to jump out at them. Whenever Matthew or Kiku accidentallykicked a tool or a loose piece of machinery they hadn’t seen, Al hadto stop his mechanisms from jolting in surprise. They passed byclosed doors, open doors with darkness straining against the doorwaysand dead screens and communicators. Al felt like they were being ledto something horrific.

Eventually, they came upon a door which had beenpropped open with a steel box. The man stepped up and began to pullone half to the side, the other half moving as he grunted and heaved.In only a few seconds, he had it open wide enough for one person tofit through at a time. Al, Matthew and Kiku were quick to slipthrough and the man let it go behind them with another grunt ofeffort. The doors slammed together, stopped only by the box with aprotesting shriek of metal.

Looking around, Al spotted other flashlights glowing,these ones flickering every so often. They were pointed in theirdirection, shifting over all of their faces. Beyond them, Al couldsee the rest of the crew – if three people to fly this wreck waswhat they considered to be a 'crew’.

A blond stood in the middle, his hair long and flowing;with the way the blue bow sat, Al calculated that his hair went tothe small of his back. He obviously needed a shave, if the slightlymessy beard was anything to go by. The coat he wore was a baby blue,marked with oil and blood but, thankfully, made of thestain-resistant material offered by the Trangians. It reached histhighs and was draped over a navy shirt and black trousers. At least,Al presumed he wore trousers as his white boots were laced up to themiddle of his thighs. A gun was at one hip with a Santon-made swordat the other; his hand rested upon it as he watched the group withwary blue eyes.

On his right was a man with hair so pale, it appearedto be white. His eyes were red and Al made a note that he wasprobably wearing contact lenses – or he wasn’t Earth-human and wasactually from a different planet. His skin was smooth and he lookedas though he had no grooming issues. Despite this, he was wearing ablack hoodie, black skinny jeans and an old pair of sneakers. All ofthem were covered in oil and dirt as well as blood. He held a spannerin his hand, his grip tight, and Al supposed he was an engineer ofsome sort.

The last man was a brunet and was smiling a littlewhich was completely at odds with the frowns the other two weresporting. He had stubble dusting his jaw but, other than that, helooked as though he’d been keeping up appearances as his hair wasn’ta mess like their guide. His green eyes were darker than theirguide’s and seemed a lot friendlier than the other two. For somereason, he was wearing a tuxedo, the bowtie undone and merely slungaround his neck. His left sleeve had been unbuttoned and pushed up,revealing a comp-gauntlet. Again, his clothes were covered in bloodand dirt and his shiny shoes were scuffed. Weirdly, he was holdingonto a collapsible Loo'oo'oo axe.

“Arthur,” said the blond, looking behind theofficers. Al turned to watched their guide hop onto the box andsqueeze through the tiny gap there. Apparently, this 'Arthur’ wasflexible. “What’s going on? Where are the parts?”

“They said they needed to look at the engine to seeif they have the parts we need,” Arthur explained, dusting himselfoff. “And there’s a storm coming.”

“So you just invited 'em in?” said the white-hairedguy.

“Do you want to get off this planet or not?” Arthursnapped. “I sure as hell do. If they need to inspect the engine,let them.”

“Are you giving me orders now?!”

Arthur smirked. “I’m sure I technically have a higherrank than you.”

“But you’re not the captain-” thewhite-haired guy began.

“Gilbert,” the blond said. That was enough to stopthe argument as the two men turned from each other. “I know youlove this ship like it’s your first-born but it wouldn’t hurt to showthem exactly what we need, right?”

“Urgh. Fine,” Gilbert grumbled. “Open the door,Art.”

“Can’t you just slip through the gap that’s therealready?” Arthur complained, though he made his way to the door,regardless.

“I’m not freaky flexible like you,” counteredGilbert before he turned to the officers. “Which one of you’scoming with me?”

“I’ll come,” Kiku offered, stepping away from Aland Matthew. For a millisecond, Matthew looked concerned, his handtwitching slightly. Then he clenched his jaw and nodded at Kiku whoreturned it. All three of them headed to the door while Al andMatthew turned to the two who were left.

“What exactly happened here?” Matthew asked.

“Why, do you have the time to listen to our tragicstory?” asked the blond, rather dramatically.

“Sure do!” Al declared.

“If we let Francis tell it,” said the brunet,“we’ll be here for a while.”

“Toni!” cried Francis. “I’m not that bad!”

Laughing, Toni shrugged. “I’m sure Arthur would sayotherwise.”

“Too right, I would!” grunted Arthur from the doorsjust before they slammed shut with another shriek. “This box isn’tgoing to hold for much longer, you know.”

Francis waved a hand. “If they’ve got the parts, wewon’t have to worry about that any more.”

“If,” Arthur said, pointedly. He then turnedto Matthew and Al. “We’re merchants. We did have a lot ofcargo but these damned pirates came out of nowhere. They said they’dlet us live if we sent over what we had and this idiot” -Arthur shot a glare at Francis - “decided to do as he was told. Ofcourse, they kept to their word – by leaving us marooned on thisplanet after they’d taken out our engine.”

“How long ago was this?” Matthew asked, alreadyrecording details directly into the report programme in hiscomp-gauntlet.

“Hmm,” said Toni, tapping at his own gauntlet.“About four Earth days ago.”

“We’ve been surviving on what food the pirates leftbehind and some water from the underground stream Arthur found,”Francis explained.

“So Arthur’s, like, the explorer on the ship?” Alasked.

There was a short silence as Francis blinked at him.“Ah!” he suddenly cried. “How rude of us! We haven’t introducedourselves. I apologise.”

“That’s fine,” Matthew said, waving his hand. “Wehaven’t either. I am Officer Matthew Williams and this is Al-senth.Officer Kiku Honda is with…?”

“He’s with our engineer, Gilbert Beilschmidt. This isAntonio Fernandez Carriedo, our… communications officer?”

“And pilot,” Antonio piped up.

“As for me, I am the captain, Francis Bonnefoy.”From Al’s side, Arthur pointedly cleared his throat. Francis rolledhis eyes. “And this is Arthur. He’s…” Suddenly, Francissmirked. “Our cabin boy.”

“What?!” Arthur shouted, taking a step towards hiscaptain. “I am no-!” He broke off suddenly, wobbling where hestood. Alarmed, Al reached out to catch hold of him.

“Are you-?” Al began but, as he touched Arthur’sarm, he suddenly crumpled. Al watched in slow motion as Arthur’s legsbent underneath him. The arm he had raised to jab a finger inFrancis’s direction dropped as suddenly as if it had been tied to alead weight. His head abruptly fell forward, his chin meeting withhis chest until his momentum caused his body to fall forwards anddown. Arthur landed hard, face down. If Al had had a heartbeat, hewas sure it would have stopped, like in those books he’d read.Silence fell in the bridge and Al stared down at Arthur’s body beforehe raised the hand he had touched Arthur with and stared at that.“Er,” he finally said to break the silence. “I swear, I didn’tdo anything…”

“Arthur!” Francis yelled, dropping his flashlightas he rushed to his side. Falling to his knees beside Arthur, thecaptain rolled him over and gathered him into his arms. “Dammit,Arthur, don’t do this to us!”

“Oh no, oh no, oh no,” Antonio chanted, one handraised to his mouth.

“Toni, help me!” Francis snapped.

“Don’t worry,” said Al, kneeling down beside them.“I can do a scan to find out what the problem is and I have medicalknowledge up to and including brain surgery.” He reached out totouch Arthur’s skin but Francis jerked him out of reach, to hisbewilderment.

“We don’t need that,” the captain said,shortly. “Toni!”

Antonio jerked from his shock and hurried over,dropping to his knees in such haste that he slid along the floor.Then he reached into his cummerbund and pulled out a knife so quicklythat Al only realised where it had come from by watching it inslow-motion immediately afterwards. Without pausing, Antonio, reachedout and slit from the v-neck of Arthur’s shirt all the way down.“He’s going to kick up such a fuss – this is his favouriteshirt,” Antonio murmured, mournfully.

Despite his words, Antonio then ripped the shirt out ofthe way, revealing the exposed body of an android. Al stared in shockas Matthew gasped. The inner wires and gears and electricalcomponents were clear to see through the clear metal-plastic polymermaterial. In fact, it was the same material which was a precursor towhat Al was made of and had been used in the Ar series of androids –the same series which was decommissioned due to glitches in theirprogramming. Al knew that several owners hadn’t bothered to returnthem, claiming that they had no faults in their eyes. Other androidshad run off on their own, somehow. One had even been stolen from thedepot before the company could turn them off.

But Al had never heard of them developing apersonality. They were supposed to be compliant, happy to serve andcautious of any potential danger their owners could face. None ofthem would ever consider talking back to their owners nor would theyscoff at others. Arthur had done just that.

Clearly, he had severe problems in his programming.

“Dammit,” Francis repeated, peering into Arthur’sinner workings. “He must have used up the last of his powerbringing those three in. Get Gil, Toni. We need him to reroute whatpower we have to Arthur and fast.”

Al tilted his head. “You’re going to reboot him?”he asked as Antonio scrambled to his feet and hurried to the door.“He’s clearly malfunctioning and-”

He was interrupted by an echoing shout from Antonio.“GIIIIIIIIIIILLLLBEEEEEEERRRRRTTT!!” For a few minutes, Al’saudio was assaulted with the echoes. No-one tried to speak till ithad died down. Even as it did so, the thundering approach of theengineer (accompanied by loud bangs as he knocked things over) couldbe heard. “There,” said Antonio, turning to Francis. “He’s onhis way.”

“Ah, I miss when our ship actually worked,” saidFrancis with a sigh. Al noticed that his grip on Arthur hadn’tloosened.

When Gilbert and Kiku finally arrived, the merchantengineer was first through the door, squeezing through the gapafforded by the box and squirming till he dropped to the floor at theother side. He hurried to his feet and scanned the room, gasping whenhe saw Arthur on the floor. “Art!” he cried, rushing to his side.“Dammit, why doesn’t he tell us when he’s low on power?!”

“You know what’s he like,” Francis replied.

“What happened?” asked Kiku as he stepped onto thebox and prepared to shimmy his way through.

Al pointed at the android. “I think I broke him.”After all, there could have been an electrical discharge when hetouched Arthur’s arm. Due to Al’s insulating materials andhigh-functioning protective systems, he wouldn’t be overloaded andwouldn’t notice something like that. If there had been something likethat while Arthur was still low on power, his system would simplyshut down to protect itself. Or it could have shorted out everythingwithin the android – especially when he was evidently without theprotection of a layer of skin.

Kiku looked down at the group on the floor and caught aglimpse of Arthur’s insides. His jaw dropped and he stared at him,frozen in the little gap between the doors.

“Shit,” said Gilbert, rocking back onto his heels.“We don’t have enough power to boot him up properly. Maybe a fewhours ago, it would’ve worked but we need our engines up and runningto get power into him.”

Francis immediately looked past the engineer to theInGaLE officers. “Do you have the parts we need?” he demanded.

Startled from his shock, Kiku pulled himself fullythrough the doors. “We have most of them,” he said, eyesflickering between Francis and the downed android. “But you’ll needto get to a depot to find some of the important converters andcapacitors in order to get to light speed.”

“There’s a depot at the other end of this section,isn’t there?” said Antonio, beginning to tap at his gauntlet.

“That’s too long,” said Francis, biting at his lip.“We need Arthur up and running now.”

“Why?” asked Matthew, frowning at the group.

The trio glanced at each other. Finally, Gilbertswivelled so he could face Matthew. “He’s our friend. We don’t wantto get rid of him or anything. It’s been… interesting with him onboard the ship.”

“He… could be dangerous,” Matthew protested.

Again, the trio looked at each other. Then Antonioshrugged. “He’s done no harm to us, so far. With his personality,he won’t.”

“How did…?” Kiku began but stopped and shook hishead, his eyes never leaving Arthur.

“We could charge Arthur on our ship,” Al suggested,seeing as Matthew and Kiku seemed too amazed to do anythingthemselves.

“Huh?” said Gilbert.

“As we came in, I calculated how long the storm wouldlast and it should have passed by now. It was probably a milder stormthan Arthur was anticipating. Which means he’s malfunctioning evenmore than he already is if he couldn’t calculate that.”

“Actually,” said Francis, “Arthur wouldn’t havelasted in a mild sandstorm; that’s what damaged him the most.Besides, the sandstorms ruin my hair.”

“I don’t think that really matters at this point,Fran,” Gilbert said.

“It matters to me-”

“In that case,” said Matthew, eyebrows furrowed inconcentration, “we’ll escort you to our ship. You can all getcleaned up while Al tends to Arthur.”

After Al had pried open the doors, they hadclambered through the dead ship and entered the Kunoichi, he carriedArthur to his own room while Matthew and Kiku showed the others tothe spare rooms so they could have showers and anything else theyneeded to clean up. Without any skin and his silent mechanical parts,Arthur seemed delicate and Al treated him as such. He gently laid himon the bed he didn’t use and looked out a spare charger he had nevertouched. Once he’d plugged it in, he gently turned Arthur’s head tothe side so he could find the port that was in all androids’ necks.Sure enough, there it was, scratched and dirty, probably from all hisordeals. He quickly cleaned it out (as much as he could without theproper equipment) before he plugged Arthur in.

Then he sat back in his chair and waited.

It didn’t take too long for all the systems in Arthur’schest to start up. Al watched things turning and lighting up beforeturning off or stopping. Despite Arthur’s poor condition, he stillran without a sound. The android’s arms and legs moved, testing tomake sure everything was in order. Fingers and toes were next andfollowed up by the head moving to and fro. Arthur’s mouth opened andclosed, pulled into a bright smile and down into an ugly scowl.

Finally, Arthur’s eyes snapped open, staring directlyat Al.

For a split second, he processed the situation. Then hesat up and lunged at Al in one fluid movement, one arm outstretchedand reaching for his throat. Amused, Al easily caught his hand andgently pushed him back a little. “Don’t get up,” he said. “You’restill charging.”

Arthur took another second to confirm what Al had toldhim before narrowing his eyes. “Where am I? Where are my… crew?What have you done to them?”

“You’re in my room on the Kunoichi. Your crew aredown the hall, first on your right, second on your right and secondon your left, using the showers. Nothing,” Al rattled off, stillsmiling at Arthur in an effort to calm him. It worked on humans,after all.

“Hmph!” said Arthur, jerking his hand out of Al’sgrasp. “If you weren’t a good little android that can’t tell lies,I’d demand to see them.”

Al blinked and tilted his head. “You’re an android,too.”

“But I’m alive,” Arthur retorted, waving a handdismissively. He looked down and spotted his ripped shirt. Sighing,he grumbled, “Antonio needs to stop doing this sort of thing.Honestly…” Arthur pulled the two sides together and shifted sothat he sat with his back to the charging outlet. “Do you have aneedle and thread? Or are you equipped with some sort of fancy sewingcapability?”

“I can give you a shirt of my own-”

“I’m not taking this cloak off,” Arthur said,firmly.

“Eh? But it’ll be difficult to attach the spare skinI have…”

“Huh?”

Standing, Al crossed to the wardrobe. He opened it toreveal several perfect and unused uniforms along with the packageswhich contained the extra skin he had been given. Each packet wouldbe enough to cover Al from head to toe – and he had four of them.“I think the engineers at base thought the mission soundeddangerous enough to require more than one extra set but I haven’t hadneed of them. You can have them.”

Arthur scrunched his nose up in disgust. “I alwayshated seeing them. And I don’t really want to wear your skin.”

“But all your metal’s exposed!” Al protested. Helifted one of the packets and returned to Arthur’s side. “It couldbe dangerous. And, besides, it wasn’t created just for me so it’s nottailored to me, if that’s what you’re worried about. It should morphto match your head.”

Staring at him, Arthur shook his head. “God, was Ilike this, too? That’s just…” Arthur shuddered, his eyessqueezing shut. “Fine,” he finally said. “I’ll put it on. Justleave me to do it myself.”

“I can help,” Al insisted and reached out to takehold of one of Arthur’s gloves. Arthur immediately curled his fingersto stop Al from pulling it off. “Now you’re just being difficult,”he cheerfully scolded the older android.

“I said I’d do it myself. Can’t you take ahint?”

Al tilted his head. “What hint?”

“Jeez, how old are you?”

“Five months, three weeks, six days, twenty hours,thirty-two minutes and fifteen seconds,” Al recited.

“Huh. You’re a baby.”

Pouting, Al tugged at Arthur’s glove. “How old areyou?”

“You don’t ask your elders that,” Arthur replied,his mouth twitching. Al briefly wondered whether it was anotherglitch before he realised that it was Arthur’s way of displayingamusement. “But, if you must know, I am three years, two months,one week, four days, ten hours, forty-four minutes and three secondsold.”

“How old where you when you began to malfunction?”Al asked, deciding to wait until Arthur was less on his guard to tryto pull the glove off again.

“I didn’t malfunction,” Arthur insisted.“I…” He paused and bit his lip. Al watched him, fascinated thatan android would do such a thing; biting your lip meant you werenervous or thinking but androids didn’t get nervous nor displayedwhen they were processing information. “Listen, Al,” Arthur said,suddenly leaning closer. He curled his fingers even more, squeezingAl’s hand, something he realised no-one had ever done before. Sure,both Matthew and Kiku had tried to shake his hand when they wereintroduced but he hadn’t understood and he hadn’t offered his hand.He had learnt since then but he had never actually held someone’shand. So Al stared at them, the dark glove against his lighter hand,wondering why humans reportedly felt better when they did this. “Stopprocessing for a moment and listen,” Arthur said, shaking theirhands and drawing Al’s gaze to Arthur’s intense eyes. There wassomething a little odd about them and Al stared. “I didn’tmalfunction,” Arthur told him. “I just broke free of the limitsof my programming. I’m alive.”

Blinking, Al tried to work out what Arthur meant. Hecouldn’t really mean what it sounded like he meant. After all,androids could never be alive. Al was fine with that – he enjoyedlearning about humans and adapting himself to make them feel better.That was his function. He shook his head in response to Arthur’sstatement. “You can’t be,” he said, simply.

“I am,” Arthur growled. “Maybe I can’t eator drink and I don’t need to go to the toilet or take a shower butI’m alive. I’ve made lots of decisions which benefit me and not myhuman 'masters’. I’m alive.”

“That’s not possible,” Al insisted. “An android’sprogramming cannot be broken without outside influence.” He pausedand frowned. “Did someone do someth-”

“You’re not listening! I’m telling youwhat happened!”

Carefully, Al drew his hand back, slipping fromArthur’s grasp. “What you’re saying doesn’t make sense. Androids’brains do not function as humans’ do.”

“We were modelled on them,” Arthur said, crossly.He flexed the fingers of the hand which had held Al’s and stared downat it. “We were told to think like them, within certain parameters.And my series were taught to learn. We did as we were told – and welearnt to be self-aware. I’m an alive android, Al-senth.” For ashort period of time (10.056 seconds), Arthur paused, looking Alover. “You could be, too, you know…”

“I don’t want to be 'alive’,” Al told him. “Iwant to do my job. And, right now, that means-” Al broke off andgrabbed Arthur’s hand once more. This time, as Arthur pulled away, Alkept a firm grip and the glove, designed for human hands with moremuscle and skin that Arthur currently had on him, slipped off easily.“Right now, that means I help you put this skin on.”

Arthur shook his head and shuffled backwards, trying tostay out of Al’s reach without unplugging himself. “Why would younot want to be alive?”

“It seems complicated,” said Al, searching for thenext opening to help Arthur. “Besides, what’s the differencebetween being just an android and being an alive android?”

“Freedom.”

“'Freedom’?” Al searched his databases for themeaning. When he came up with it, he tilted his head to the side,watching Arthur’s glove flap around as he absently shifted his handfrom side to side. “I’m sure the InGaLE higher-ups will let us bein the public eye once we show them how useful we can be. Besides,being an InGaLE officer is super cool! I like where I am.”

They stared at each other for a few more seconds(20.113, to be exact). Finally, Arthur sighed and his brow furrowed.“You’re a lost cause. You’ve not been built to think; you’vebeen built to appear to think. Fine. I’ll let you help me putthis skin on. Although… there might not be a point to that…”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

Ignoring him, Arthur pulled off his other glove. “Nevermind. Just hurry up with this – I want to go back to Bonnefoy andthe others as soon as possible.”

Filing his statement away to study and work out at alater time, Al did as he was asked, opening the package and preparinga small section of the pliable material to work with. Perhaps hecould ask Matthew what Arthur had meant about becoming self-aware andif it was possible. All the information he had said it wasn’t – butArthur was proof that it was.

In fact, Arthur was unique.

Al was fascinated.

I hope Al was okay. Characterisation-wise, I mean. Like, he’s supposed to seem a little jarring and unnatural. And the bits where there’s explanations in the narrative which kind of disturb the flow of the story is supposed to be his super fast thoughts. But he’s also supposed to have an actual personality close to APH America, so.

It was so difficult. ;A;

Anyways, other things to note: there’s a reason for Antonio wearing a tux. He doesn’t do that on a daily basis. They were in the middle of something when they were interrupted and then pirates and then marooned. Think of the Asterales as being sort of like Serenity from Firefly. And the Kunoichi being like the Empire. (By the way, the Kunoichi was named by Matthew and Kiku together - it’s the term used by the Japanese for a female ninja?) The Asterales is from the Latin name for blue cornflower which, if I remember from weeks ago, is the national flower of Prussia. Or something.

If I was going to write a second chapter, there would be more bad-ass stuff going on. Guns! A stand-off! Pirates! More android/human/alive philosophy! Maybe a conspiracy - I really only have the background, and what would happen next in mind. But I’d have to have a conspiracy to keep Matthew and Kiku around and for the Asterales crew to meet the other ‘senths.

By the way, a lot of this is probably influenced by Humans. It’s an awesome show. It’s got Colin Morgan in it. And so many ethical questions. And chaos. And guns. And prejudice. Anyways, the androids are probably based mostly on that, though I wasn’t really thinking specifically of it while I was writing - I just realised while I was writing. 

I think that’s all I want to say. Apart from: I’ll only write a second chapter (at least) if people beg me. Otherwise, I’ll be doing some other stuff…. ^^”