#but I will almost give it a pass due to this interesting discussion comparing the many very stressful times Kaine’s died

[scarletspider2the2ndpower]

“Kaine,” Web of Spider-Man (Vol. 3/2024), #1.

Writer: Steve Foxe; Penciler: Greg Land; Inker: Jay Leisten; Letterer: Frank D’Armata

[katyspersonal]

Were Marika and Radagon always the same being from the beginning or they were separate people who got fused later on?

Oh boy, I've almost missed this ask in the tidal wave of Sephi spam from THOSE TWO LITTLE PRICKS!!!!!!, but yes thank you for the question! My theory on the matter is:

This for me ties into a couple of things: 1) the idea that when something bad happens with a (demi)god, they are likely to develop an alter as defence mechanism that I mostly base on the theory that Trina and their purple 'sleep' flame happened as response to Miquella being scorched by Frenzy (more here: ( x )) and 2) theme of 'astral projections' that have transcendental knowledge compared with the 'rest of the person' which is more plain!

Recently I've also discussed theme of "if you want to defeat the thing, become the thing" like with dragons, but I decided to discard the idea that Marika willingly inflicted curse of the giants onto herself! But existence of Radagon is exactly what I think happened with Marika - a curse of the giants!

I think that "they say Marika has slain the Fell God" is taken at face value here, they 'say' it because it happened very long time ago and there are almost no witnesses left rather than a rumour! Sure, I still "await for the return of my Lord" (for the one who will precisely re-translate Japanese script), but I am happy with this for now! Yet, 'their flames will never die' refers to Marika having taken up that curse in the moment she killed the Fell God! This is why she was able to pass the curse mark onto the last Fire Giant that survived: because now the curse was her, taken from the Fell God by slaying him.

But, although she was able to get rid of the flame by giving it to the Fire Giant, the impact already left its side-effect on her very being! I still need DLC to confirm or deny whether Trina exists for 'unhappy reason' as I can't tell whether more info on them was cut due to time limitations or rewriting, I am just using it as an extra backup for now! Regardless, it is safe to say that since Fire Giants are all male and Marika was a female, it caused the conflict and so Radagon turned in to exist as male. So yeah kill gods carefully of you'll get cursed with dysphoria idk I am bad at philosophical conclusions

^ I also think that the curse left its mark on Marika genetically, and her children would show traces of it from time to time! Radahn is the biggest evidence of it in my eyes! He started to learn gravitational magic so he could still ride Leonard, which means that he was growing massive even before learning it! Other demigods have no problem staying very human-sized so I think his massive size is not an effect of his massive power, but traces of Giants' 'genes' showing!

I am also considering the ideas that 1) Morgott might have had a fire of his own as result of it, that he sealed into blade, since unlike with Mohg his fire doesn't link to interacting with Formless Mother 2) Rykard might have had natural affinity towards fires as side-effect of such 'genes', that only made his research of fire sorcery easier, and it simply was coincidental that fire reflects heresy

3) Maybe the third eye imagery that is only so far seen in Godwyn's Prince of Death form and Trina's side of Miquella is the secret less obvious effect, that only manifests after something bad happens to them? Since the cyclopic eye is the mark of the Fell God! Again, I need information on Trina first, but so far this works! So yeah. 'Evil eye'.

(Screenshot of Godwyn's model from Zullie's video: ( x ))

I also take the script occasionally from this ( x ) document, but yeah. In Japanese, it is a bit more blatant that he is her other self literally, not metaphorically! She also uses 'omae', a pretty derogatory way to refer to someone. She looks down on this side of herself, which is interesting, but also why? And why Radagon disagreed with her idea to scatter the Elden Ring and let the history sort itself?

This is what made me think of how the separation aspect of them played out! I believe that they are able to exist within the same body, as we can clearly see through the cutscene, but also to split. The thing is? There are precedents of it in the game as well! Sellen and Dung Eater both are under the situation where their real bodies, and real selves are in imprisonment and are suffering without being aware of their astral projections. Their astral projections, however? They are quite aware of where their bodies are and what is going on, but can think independently. The 'body' and the 'mind' are able to exist in separation in The Lands Between. Let's also not forget the case of powerful illusions like the ones of Rennala and Mohg, who are basically the auto-receivers that were set to kick your ass lol x) It is also my idea on why it is named The Lands Between to begin with: because this is where physical and mental blend together, to the point both are equally tangible and perceivable!

Basically? When Marika and Radagon are split, it is very much like this. He would be her 'physical body', living and thinking on his own, not aware of Marika's opinions and plans, whereas Marika would be same as those astral projections that told Tarnished 'oh by the way my actual body is imprisoned in this or that location'. Knowing more and planning more, being aware of what the 'body' thinks and experiences without the reverse being true, however, being limited until the 'body' is returned to the owner. So that's why Radagon would not think and feel exactly the same as Marika: not only he was able to live his own life, but also he understands less than the "transcendental" part which makes astral projections. Marika maybe had the plan to scatter the Ring and let it all sort itself out, so the conflict would let only someone capable of levelling with her lost Godwyn to raise at the top and come and replace her. She generally thinks very far ahead, as the 'higher self' that she is, which Radagon can't do and he just studies and understands the things as they are.

So yeah.. In the conclusion, I think it was the curse of the Giants but specifically the side-effect of slaying the Fell God, yet she sealed the curse she inherited from the act in the last survivor too late and her 'genes' already got traces of it! Radagon is valid but by all laws that strangely split people in the Lands Between he is her "lesser" half that thinks on more grounded plane. We could, again, see from Sellen and Dung Eater that 'body' and 'astral projection' are able to fuse back into one entity, yet Radagon and Marika are still in the conflict?

I like to think it came from Marika herself despising this more "human" side of herself.. Sure, she is not alien to human flaws herself, as someone that set many unfair laws in motion just because of her fears and set the world into war from her grief, but you can't just SAY that hahah; She wants to be perfect, invulnerable, all-powerful, and Radagon is just "not that", not yet. I am pretty sure a big part of it is Marika's very pragmatic view on relationship, whereas Radagon *gasp* had the nerve to truly love Rennala! She only can truly become one with him when his flaws and vulnerabilities are eradicated and he is the same cold, calculating, clever, machiavellian entity as herself, literally just her but male. And, well... this hasn't been this way so far, so in turn, the two are at the conflict. He thinks of the other people and the world, and doesn't believe it is right to betray the Greater Will and the mortals born under it like that, when she decides to just let the world suffer and burn. Ironically, her "lowly" half had more sympathy and reason than her "dignified" half, after all.

This is all very interesting to think about, but so far a lot of this lingers on the conclusions I still need to confirm or deny via DLC! Anyways it was interesting to think about and put together!

[serenedash]

I'm sure a lot of people have. Feelings. to put it lightly, about Xehanort's role in khuxdr. I absolutely do and there's just this thing that really bugs me about it that just rubs me the wrong way. This is gonna get a little long winded before I make my point-- but call this a Xehanort character analysis

So to ignore khuxdr completely for a moment, here we have Xehanort: the main antagonist, a man who has seemingly worked out every possible scenario and prepared for each and every one because just when you think you've defeated him he comes back like a hydra (idk insert a coliseum joke here but it's very literal with the way he uses other people). And one thing I've always loved about kh as a series is that there's this constant message of "you don't need to be special, you can just be you" because there's Sora-- who's not "the chosen one" and he knows that, he says it, and says he's proud to be apart of the people the keyblade did choose. This nobody kid who for all intents and purposes should've just been the side comic relief character and he's THE hero. And there's Xehanort, the big bad he's fighting who seems to be so all powerful that Sora is nothing against him. But kh does this interesting thing where we learn Xehanort is from Destiny Islands, he's just like Sora, Riku and Kairi. He was just a kid wanting more out of life and got more than what he bargained for.

I really enjoyed dark road giving us more insight into his past and motivations and how that shaped him because I think all of that and especially the final face off with Baldr and meeting MoM, 100% was the turning point for who he became. And I think that's really interesting that this kid form an island became so much more. And I enjoyed the kh3 secret reports greatly when we got to see writings by a younger Xehanort comparing himself to Eraqus and it really hammers in that Xehanort, like Sora, was just some kid thrown into this world that was far larger than he expected. And I think there's a lot of great parallels between Sora/Xehanort and Riku/Eraqus, which is interesting given that I feel like initially these parallels are set up to compare Riku to Xehanort when that really isn't the case at all!!! And kh3 definitely hammers it in more when Xehanort passes the x-blade to Sora; there was a lot of great discussion of that moment when the game released and the comparisons between the two.

But. then we get to khux. And don't get me wrong, I love khux I LOVE khux and I also actually really don't like Xehanort. But he's a really interesting and well written character. And it felt like there was all this development for Xehanort that happened and with the end of kh3 you really just, come to terms with it all I guess? and I think we can all agree that extra scene at the end of khux with baby Xehanort felt like a real slap to the face. It just felt really odd to turn around and say Xehanort isn't actually from Destiny Islands; I mean he basically is literally being raised there almost from birth but he's really not ESPECIALLY when it's added that he's a descendant of Ephemera. It was an odd choice, it really was. And it feels weird to know that and then see the kh3 secret reports where Xehanort shares feeling inferior to Eraqus due to Eraqus being a "blue blood." Like you are too???? And it's like I wish I could say Xehanort just didn't know that but we literally see Player 2 telling him this. Xehanort knows, has known, and he's smart so there's no way he got to Scala and heard all about this amazing Master Ephemera and didn't have all these realizations. Of course, I don't think Xehanort told anyone about his connection to Ephemera, but he knew. and We know. and it just kind of takes the wind out of my sails I think that this interesting character was set up and the context of his actions feels changed by the circumstances of his birth/childhood. Like I don't think he needed to be from Scala, to be related to Ephemera. I really don't think that had to be added in order to explain why he was obsessed with the keyblade war. Like Sora, Riku and Kairi knew nothing about any of that but they still wanted to go out into the world. Why does Xehanort need that justification for leaving?

Like. it's fine I guess and it all still makes sense and it's still interesting to see these characters tied together like this, but it was already set up so perfectly I think in relation to Sora and it feels so much lesser now and it's kind of like. oh okay this is what's happening now. But hey, at least khdr made me actually like xehanort a little lmao

[kissagii]

Is there any chance I could get an aot matchup though it's not official yet? I'm obsessed with matchups because I like to describe myself and see which characters would date me 👉👈

I'm 17, I'm genderfluid (afab), my current pronouns are she/her and I'm bisexual with female preferences tho I'm still confused about my sexuality, you can match me with a guy if you think it's necessary tho.

I'm bilingual! I can speak italian which is my native language and english because I have a few russian relatives and instead of learning russian I learned english to be able to communicate with them, but I'd like to speak russian, I also want to learn japanese and german, but I'm lazy lmao.

I'm 5'11, I have pale skin, a round shaped face with a small double chin, potato nose, I have a piercing on my left nostril (planning to get more), long black hair with undercut like Levi, brown/hazel eyes, thick black eyebrows, I wear glasses and I'm chubby though people say I'm skinny, I try to keep my nails long, but whenever they get long, I tease them until I broke or rip them off. My clothing style is a mix of different styles though I prefer to dress in comfy outfits such as sweaters + black leggings + converse or vans.

ISFP, enneagram type 4, ravenclaw, kuudere, sun gemini and moon pisces and I have borderline disease. I'm quite stubborn, I always try to defende my ideals, ambivert, caring, way too honest, lazy, romantic, a spendthrift, little bit of a perfectionist, people say I'm smart and mature for my age, envious, picky, easily affectionating and trusting people who are nice to me, I have too many expectations and most of times I end up disappointed. I can get lost in fake scenarios I create inspired by movies/shows I saw or fanfics I read.

I'm fatherless, my dad and my cousin both passed away due cancer last year 10 days apart from each other and I just can't seem to elaborate it yet. I got my interest for music and english skills from him and my makeup skills from her.

My love language is words of affermation, acts of services, gifts and physical contact. I'm a huge of these couple things like comparing hand sizes, lying my head on my partner's chest listening to their heartbeat to sleep, taking baths together etc.

I have a pandora bracelet, each charm collected describes my personality.

I like listening to music (any genre), makeup, skincare, perfumes, writing, drawing, singing, dancing, cooking, baking, junk food, staying in bed all day, fails/tiktok compilations, love stories about relationships between humans and vampires/nymphs/mermaids, cats, organizing things in my room, shopping, organizing, traveling, sunflowers and lillies.

I dislike being tall and chubby, raspberries/raspberry kisses, policity, discussing news, snakes, any type of hate/violence/crime existing, experiencing nightmares, citrus fruits, way too hot weathers, sodas, coffee, being alone for too long, spending too much time on my phone, going to restaurants and eat in front of others.

Some random facts: - I have a huge phobia of static electricity and fireworks/firecrackers.

- I can sing in a high-pitched voice like a disney princess, sometimes I even act like one. I almost can sing the song "part of your world" from The Little Mermaid though I prefer how I sing it in my native language.

- My favourite perfumes are dolce lily by Dolce&Gabbana and Hypnotic Poison by Dior. In general I like expensive ones.

- If my partner ever feels stressed or something, I'd sing to them. I'd be their personal songbird.

- I'm more a tea/hot chocolate person than a coffee person. I tried coffee once, but I didn't like it.

I think that's it because I can't think about anything else 🤣 thank you in advance and sorry for the poem and the numberous requests.

luckily for you, matchups are an official thing now!!

i match you with...

𝕤𝕒𝕤𝕙𝕒 𝕓𝕣𝕒𝕦𝕤

she's a bringer of good vibes when you're struggling

when you're lonely, she'll call you our show up at your house to keep you company

loves to give you hugs, especially those really tight ones that are just a little painful but not really

likes to sing with you, so expect lots of random karaoke while doing household chores. oftentimes this ends up in you two

absolutely adores it when you speak and sing in italian. she thinks it's just so magical sounding.

and if you can cook her some italian food or pastry? she's attached to you forever

she's your number one supporter and will back you up if you ever get into a disagreement with someone

sasha is really loyal and will always defend you, even though she knows you're more than capable of sticking up for yourself

[chaotic-beautiful]

More random thoughts about the last episode that I felt like penning down. This time I'll be talking about some of the KinnPorsche scenes. The last scene I'll discuss in a separate one. I want to do the scene justice and I am not yet at the correct head space for that.

1. I find it very interesting that Porsche was not at all shaken that he'd kissed some one in a drugged state the previous night and couldn't even remember who that was . It once again reminds us that Porsche is no shy blushing virgin shou. He was a playboy and was regularly and randomly hooking up with strangers before he took the bodyguard job. It's probably not at all a first time for him to drunken kiss someone and forget next day. He also probably can guess that it was a guy because that day he didn't interact with any girls except Yok.

He's an alpha in his own merit but more to that later.

2. It was pretty amazing to watch Mile enacting Kinn's reliving the memories of the same kiss and how emotional, vulnerable and conflicted he looked , yet so softly. Subtly. It was a pleasure to see it play out on his expressive beautiful face when he's looking very soft and vulnerable and alone in front of a mirror , wrapped in a soft towel. Mile is so good at these no dialog only emote scenes. Powerful actor.

3. Kinn trying to subtly find out about Porsche's love life, whether he's a gf and only when he confirms that he's indeed single ,he sort of tested the water further to ask if Porsche was a girl ,would he like him ?? He's falling for Porsche isn't he. He's increasingly seeking him out, he was happy to find him alone sitting on the couch (legs spread, essentially naked minus a short white towel ). Porsche was actually going to give him a wide berth but he insisted on having his company. He's subconsciously craving it.

4. What took my breath away was Porsche's reaction to that very frank do-you-think-you-can-like-me question. He revealed an expression of almost awe . As if in a daze. If you see Kinn's expression even he was startled to see how affected Porsche was by this question. Even ifhe later passed out.

I think Kinn's look of fond happiness after Porsche dropped unconscious on his crotch was to do with the fact that he's a good feeling going about it. As if whatever they've going on , this unnamed terra incognita is not solely from his side but both sided.

5. Kinn is not too fond of bogus .. er.. I mean Vegas trying to lay it on thick with Porsche. It's a different matter altogether that our resident himbo has no idea whatsoever, either of Vegas flirting with him or Kinn being low key chugging vinegar over it.

Show Kinn is much more restrained in showing his jealousy and possessiveness compared to book Kinn. He's much more cold and aloof towards Porsche and absolutely won't let anyone ,including Porsche to think that he can feel jealous over a bodyguard. He continued to play it as his dislike to mingle staff with 2nd family.

This is working for now. But there'll be a point when Porsche , seeing how Kinn will start ignoring and putting him down after their sex due to his.. issues, he'll rebel to and Vegas will be right there to insinuate himself into the situation and do dance by chance. As we see Porsche is already refusing to listen to Kinn's demand that he stays away from Vegas.

6. Porsche was totally unaware that Kinn was talking about their kiss and the conversation about it was hilarious with them meaning two different things. Kinn should remember that Porsche is a straight shooter. It'd do good for him if he gives him some verbal clarifications about his current state of mind and heart from time to time.

[sentinelpri]

Yellow Roses

The first time was a learning experience.

Bumblebee had been innocent to the ways of human gift-giving back then, unsure of what to get or where to get it, but after using the internet and looking up where to buy gifts for humans, he found that there was a gift shop down the street from where the Autobot base was, and he begged and pleaded with Sari for some of her allowance money “for something important”.

He wasn’t sure what he wanted to get. What he was sure of, though, was that he was completely enamored with you and had been since day one- and he couldn’t bring himself to confess yet, but if he didn’t channel his feelings somehow, they were going to burst.

But as he approached the gift shop on that sunny day in Detroit, no other than Optimus Prime walked out and bumped into him. Thankfully, before he could fall back at the impact, Optimus reached out and caught him, placing him back on his feet with one strong servo. 

“P-Prime, hey!” Bumblebee grinned and tried to look as inconspicuous as possible. He knew he wasn’t guilty of anything nefarious, per say, but he had no idea how Optimus would feel about him being in love with a human and wanting to buy gifts for said human with money that wasn’t his. “What are you doing here?”

“Uh, nothing much...” The other Autobot blatantly lied and hid a bouquet of blue and gold flowers that Bee didn’t know the name of behind his back, face burning the brightest shade of red the smaller bot had ever seen it. “Are you looking for something in particular?”

“I don’t know, I mean, what do humans even like?” Bumblebee muttered without thinking, and upon seeing Optimus’s optics widen, he raised his servos defensively and shook his head. “I mean, uh-! Never mind! What’s up with the flowers?”

“Ah,” Optimus gave an awkward grin and held the flowers in front of him instead of continuing to hide them, probably realizing that it was too late and Bumblebee had already seen them. The younger bot wondered if they were for Optimus or for someone else, but he didn’t dare ask, only listening to his leader talk. “I learned that unlike some other organic planets, on earth, it’s considered rude to pick plants if they’re in close proximity to someone’s home or in front of a public building or park unless they’re a specific type called weeds, which flowers aren’t, but I wanted to buy some for someone, so I came here to pick them up after asking Sari about it. Are you gift buying, too?”

“Well, yeah, I guess you could say that,” Bumblebee looked away and held his forearm in one servo, anxiously shifting his weight between his stabilizing servos. It felt like him and Optimus Prime had reached into the cookie jar and caught each other. 

Bumblebee didn’t dare ask who the flowers were for even though he was dying to know in fear that Optimus would ask who he was at the gift shop for in return. An uncomfortable silence fell onto them momentarily, both of them quiet and staring at each other with the noise of traffic and the bustling Detroit citizens walking on the pavement who kept passing by to keep them company.

“I’ve been doing some reading since Sari’s birthday is in a few months,” Optimus tried to continue the conversation and cleared his throat. “The customs for gift giving can involve about anything when it comes to human girls, but the most common are flowers, books, chocolates, jewelry, clothing, video games, or gifts of practicality, which just seem to be hygiene products and things they can use in their daily lives. Gift cards and vouchers with money on them are also common, but considered less personable, so I wouldn’t go that route if you’re close with the one you’re buying for unless they specifically ask for it.”

“Oh... I gotcha. Good ideas, bossbot!” Bumblebee smiled again, the corners of his lip-plates sore from how forced it was due to his nerves.

What if Optimus had figured it out? That would defeat the whole point of his plan; buy you nice things and leave them at your door in the middle of the night without his name attached. It was simple and easy, but if Optimus knew before he even got to try it?

Well. That made it a lot harder.

Thankfully, though, Optimus gave him a nod and bid him a good afternoon, then walked away.

Bumblebee found himself letting out a sigh of relief.

Thank Primus...

...Hours later, Bumblebee regretted all of his life decisions. He was sitting, holed up in his room with one audial pressed up against your wall. It was a terrible habit of his, but he eavesdropped on you pretty frequently when he heard bits and pieces of you talking through the wall, and he was doing it right now.

He wasn’t sure how he had expected it to go, but when he dropped the bouquet of yellow roses at your bedroom doorstep when you were out for lunch and no one was in the halls, he had hoped that you would simply take the flowers, appreciate them, and never say another word. However, you were currently telling Sari about it, which made sense considering that the young girl dropped by your room often and asked you to do her hair or makeup as an excuse to spend time with you- you were an adult, a lot older than Sari, but the two of you got along very well considering that you were the only one who actually knew how to take care of her properly when Isaac Sumdac wasn’t around.

“I have no idea!” You exclaimed, no doubt in reference to the flowers. Bumblebee cringed. What if Sari made the connection that the money he had borrowed from her was for that? What if she told everyone, or what if you told everyone, and Prime realized why he was at that gift shop and let his secret slip? “I can only assume it was you or one of the guys, but like... I don’t know who.”

“Yeah, I have no idea! It wasn’t me, I would’ve just given ‘em to you. We should dig deeper, (y/n)!”

Oh. Oh, Primus, no. 

“I’m not sure, Sari, whoever it was probably dropped it off like that for a reason,” Bumblebee heard you sigh, and at the same time, he let out a sigh of relief. Maybe you would just forget about it and-

“Wait! Do you have a secret admirer!?”

Dammit. Maybe not.

“I... Highly doubt that, the only one I’d be interested in anyways is-” You started, and then cut yourself off in a way that made Bumblebee’s spark shatter and crumble into little pieces inside his chassis. You were single, but you were already into someone? What if it wasn’t him? He’d understand, of course- Prime was stronger, Prowl was smooth, Bulkhead was talented, and Ratchet was intelligent. Compared to them, he felt like he didn’t have much to offer you. Everyone around him was amazing, and he was just there, but... He loved you, and he wanted you to know how loved you were. So, whether you’d love him back or not, he’d keep giving everything he had to you; even if the way in which he went about it was indirect. “Actually, never mind, but your braids are done-”

“No, wait, you can’t just gloss past that!” Sari whined. Bee almost didn’t want to hear the rest of your discussion, but he couldn’t keep himself from listening. “Who is it, who is it!?

“Let’s just go play Animal Crossing in the living room, we can talk about all of that at a later date, yeah?” You offered, voice laced with both your amusement and confusion. 

“Fine, fine, but you have to tell me soon! Pinky promise.”

“Fine, pinky promise. Now let’s go.”

Bumblebee heard your door open and close, followed by what he presumed to be you and Sari’s footsteps in the hallway. The sound eventually dissipated.

The Autobot was left to lay back on his berth and stare at the ceiling with a huff.

You were telling others about the gift he left, trying to get to the bottom of it, and you were into someone or somebot he didn’t even know about.

What had he gotten himself into?

-

The second time, he felt a little better about it. It was a week later and he hadn’t heard any discussion of the subject amongst the other Autobots, so he assumed nothing had come from it.

But, as he lounged on the living room couch, he jumped upon you sitting down on the couch’s arm- right by where his head was laid.

It made sense that he had been jumpier around you over the past few days. Part of it was the usual I’m-in-love-with-you-and-super-tense-about-it jumpiness that he had become accustomed to, but it was made worse by the fact that he was guilty; guilty of keeping a secret from you, of indirectly lying to you. He could’ve done it the one time with the roses and let it die down after, but when you’d talked about your old game controller breaking the night before at the dinner table, he hadn’t been able to help himself- he went and got it along with a new bouquet of yellow roses, left it in front of your room later that night, knocked, and ran away.

It was the next day, and understandably, he’d been anxious about it. It was better than the first time, but he was just hoping you wouldn’t talk about it.

Of course, he was never that lucky, and you looked at him with the controller literally in your hands. 

“Hey, Bee, do you know anything about this?” You asked.

Had he been caught? Did you know? Or were you just trying to get information from him in case he knew something? Unsure, he decided to play it safe and act oblivious. 

“Huh? What’s that?”

“I’m taking that as a no, but someone left this new controller on my doorstep with a bouquet of roses? I needed a new one, but I only mentioned it to you and the others, so I think it’s one of you guys... But this is the second time I’ve received a gift without any name on it and I’m really confused. I’ve done some asking around, but the only one who seems to know anything is Optimus, and he won’t give me any hints and insists that he has no idea what I’m talking about.”

Great. So, Optimus probably realized why Bumblebee had been at the gift shop last week. Well... From what you said, it sounded like Optimus was at least decent enough to stay out of his business and keep the secret for him- or try to, at least. 

“Yeah? That’s weird, I don’t really know why he’d be like that about it... Wanna play Streetfighter?”

“Sure, but I’m just super confused, man,” You muttered, turning on the playstation and giving a frustrated huff. The game quickly turned on, and while Bee took the old controller, you connected your brand new one and chose your stage, your character being Akuma. Bee chose Ken to fight with and listened to you continue as the game started. “I thought the first time might’ve just been a one-off thing, but it’s happened again, and the flowers were one thing, but now it’s flowers and a new controller. Anyone else would be creeped out, and I’m not creeped out- more flattered than anything since I know it’s from you or one of the other Autobots- but this is really expensive... I’d at least like to be able to say thank you!”

“That makes sense, I think I’d feel the same way,” The black and yellow bot mumbled. The game had hardly started and he was already losing due to his inability to focus- it was so bad that he couldn’t even combat you when you crowded his character into the corner and kicked him over and over and over again. His health bar dropped to zero, signaling that you’d won round one.

Round two started, and he did a little better; actually jumping away from your cornering attempts and offering some blasts and punches, but by the time it ended, he’d only gotten you down to half health, and you were delivering your final blow. Ken fell to the ground, Akuma still standing. 

You didn’t even press replay despite being player one. No, instead, you let out a huff and stared at the ceiling. Bumblebee found himself resting his helm against your thigh without thinking, enjoying the warmth against his faceplates. You two were best friends, very comfortable with each other and with physical affection, so you didn’t mind it, only running a gentle hand over one of his audials in return. 

Both of you set your controllers down. It was obvious that both of you were so focused on the subject of your anonymous gifts that the game didn’t catch either of your interests like it usually would. 

“I might try to ask Optimus about it again tomorrow... Information extraction,” You joked, but Bumblebee quickly sat up and objected. 

“Wait, I don’t think that’s such a good idea!”

“Huh? Why not? He’s the only one who’s given me so much as a reaction,” You argued and stood up to turn the game system off, then started pacing around the room. “And I guess his eyes getting all wide ‘n stuff may have just been something else, but like... It’s all I’ve got to go on.”

“Yeah, but you know how the bossbot is,” Bee stood as well, trying his hardest not to look like he was in the midst of blowing a circuit from the panic that was currently taking over his processor. “He shuts down when you push him too hard. If he knows anything about it, you gotta wait for him to come to you with that sweet info.”

“You’re probably right, Bee, thanks for the advice,” You smiled, and then walked to him to put a hand on his shoulder plate. “I’m gonna go to bed, ‘kay? Goodnight.”

You looked into his optics, and oh Primus, he was gone; your eyes were such a beautiful shade of (e/c), and your smile was so beautiful, and you were so beautiful, and he was so in love-

Quickly, he realized that he was taking too long to respond, so he quickly stammered something out.

“G-Goodnight...” 

And then, you left, swiftly turning and walking out of the living room.

Bumblebee found himself letting out a sigh of relief, but at the same time, he missed you desperately.

He wished he’d given you a hug goodnight.

And, as he stood alone in the dark living room, he thought back to how exactly he’d ended up in his current predicament; painfully in love with a human, giving them things without having the courage to do it face-to-face, life feeling like it was falling apart with every hour that passed without him being able to kiss you and tell you how much he loved you like he so desperately wanted to. 

He’d loved you from the very start, and as bold as he was, he couldn’t bring himself to tell you- he was just too scared, but...

What if this was what finally gave it away...?

-

The third time was what ended up blowing his cover. He should’ve left it alone, and he had told himself that after the last time- it was far too close of a call when you talked about Optimus knowing something, and he was so obvious with his own emotions during that, too... He wouldn’t do it again.

But then, he was shopping with Sari that day and saw a (f/c) hoodie that was just your size and style, and he decided you had to had it. So, when Sari was distracted at a different store, he got the hoodie, along with a new notebook, some pens, and a stuffed bee. He bought the gifts for you and put them in a nice gift bag with some paper, then left them by your door and disappeared before anyone could see him. 

He was sitting in the living room yet again. It was late at night, and though him and his team had spent most of that night playing board games and catching up with a movie playing in the background, they’d all went to bed hours ago, leaving him to think by himself.

He’d lost at every game; Uno, Monopoly, Candyland, Sorry, Cards Against Humanity, and Scrabble, all because he was staring at you the entire time. 

Why couldn’t he just get over himself and confess already? It was selfish to keep hiding from you, because what if the one you’d mentioned being interested in was actually him? And even if it wasn’t him, was it fair for you to think that he saw you as a friend when he was secretly in love with you? Was it fair for you to keep receiving gifts and never knowing who they were from? 

Speak of the devil, though- the second Bumblebee looked up from where he was standing in the middle of the room, you were leaning against the doorway, wearing the hoodie he’d bought you and a pair of pajama shorts. You looked sleepy with your (h/l) (h/c) hair a mess and your soft hands rubbing the bleariness out of your (e/c) eyes. 

“Bee?” You mumbled.

“(y/n), where’d you just come from? You look tired! You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m tired, but I’m fine. I was in the hallway, kinda waiting for everyone else to go to bed so I could talk to you, but... It took me a minute to come in here.” Bumblebee walked towards you and raised his optical ridge. His spark sank to the floor because oh Primus, was this it? Was it finally happening?

“Oh, uh... Why do you need to talk to me alone? What’s up?”

You averted your gaze and gently grabbed one of his servos with your hand, holding it tightly. Bumblebee took a sharp intake. You were about to start talking, and he wasn’t sure he was ready for it. 

“I know it’s you,” You confessed with a guilty smile. Bumblebee froze in place and cringed. “I feel bad, but my curiosity was killing me, so I asked around some more and did a lot of prying- Optimus seemed like he was hiding something when I talked to him about it, so I pried until he gave up and told me that he suspected it was you; that he’d seen you at a gift shop the day I got the first bouquet, that he’d seen you lingering in the hallways the past few times I’ve gotten something, etcetera. He gave me enough details that I pieced it together, so... Yeah.”

“Well, at least it’s out of the way,” Bumblebee laughed out loud, and surprisingly, you smiled back at him. This wasn’t how he wanted it to come out, but he wasn’t sure it would have come out at all if not for this. “Getting human money without a real job is hard! Glad I could at least confess without having to do it so much that I went bankrupt.”

“Bee...” You started again, peering up at him, but he felt like he wasn’t ready for what was going to happen next. Were you about to reject him? He wasn’t sure he wanted to find out. 

“Well, now that that’s done, I’m gonna go ahead and go to bed! I could use a really good recharge right about now-”

“Bee-” You cut him off with a pout and gripped his servo, obviously not done, but he only continued in hopes that you would give it up and let him escape the situation. 

“Goodnight, (y/n)-”

“Bee!” You yelled and pulled him towards you by his wrist so you could get in his face. “For God’s sake, man, stop and listen to me talk for a second!”

“Okay, okay! I’m sorry! I just-” He tossed his hands up defensively, ready to spill his circuits out, only for you to cut him off.

“You don’t think I love you back, right? You’re such a dolt!” You exclaimed. 

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Bumblebee yelled back at you, processor only catching the insult before he thought back on ‘I love you back’ and froze. “...Oh. Sorry.”

“I mean I’ve loved you for months now! Even before I realized it, I think I would’ve been more than open to dating you at any point in time, I mean... You’re pretty great. Why didn’t you just tell me?”

“Well, uh-” Bumblebee stopped and took in a deep intake, then sighed and linked your fingers with his digits so he could hold your hand properly. The anxiety that had been building up over you for so long now was finally leaving his body and being replaced by relief.“I don’t know. I feel kinda stupid now.”

“C’mere,” You mumbled and wrapped an arm around him. He hugged you back, taking you into his arms and resting his chin on top of your head... He could get used to that. You were warm and soft as you relaxed your body against his and allowed yourself to be held. You let go of his servo in favor of curling your hands and arms up by his chest. “Thank you for the gifts. They were really sweet and I loved them all, so... I’ll be sure to return the favor.”

“Return the favor? This is more than enough to return the favor!” He grinned, only hugging you tighter. “I’ve always wanted to just, like, hug you like this-”

“You can kiss me, too, if you want,” You offered, which had him pulling back to look down at you, spark lit aflame. 

“Really?” Bumblebee asked, just to be sure.

“Of course.”

There was a moment of silence; hesitance from both ends. It was true that, while both of you had been physically affectionate as friends, you’d never kissed, and Bumblebee had certainly never kissed a human. He’d been waiting for this moment for so long, but he had no idea what to do now that it was actually happening. 

Thankfully, you took the initiative and wrapped your arms over his shoulders, hands on the back of his neck. You looked up at him one more time before standing on your tip-toes so you could gently press your lips against his. Bumblebee was frozen still for a moment as he processed your warm, soft lips against his cool metal plating, but after the tension faded, he found himself resting his servos on your hips and melted into it. 

One kiss turned into many; again, again, and again, you moved your lips against his in a manner so intoxicating that he couldn’t get enough of it.

Eventually, though, you pulled away and smiled up at him, but now that he had gotten to kiss you like that, he couldn’t help but want more. 

“I, uh... I’m not sure the favor has been returned yet,” Bumblebee averted his optics from your eyes, able to feel his spark beating faster. “I might need one more kiss just to be sure-”

You chuckled, cutting him off by leaning up again and sloppily pushing your lips against his- and, with that, he was gone.

[maldiaaym]

Why do I think Lily Evans (Potter) was not a good friend?

Until recently, the general opinion of the fandom was that Lily Potter was a good girl, deified and the representation of purity and goodness. But, doing a more exhaustive study of the character, we can get to see how Lily evans maybe was not so holy and made mistakes due to her education and, possibly, depending on the stage of her life where she found herself when she made those mistakes.

In relation to Severus Snape, I think she was not a good friend. Regardless of his age, which we all understand that we do not see friendship in childhood, adolescence or adulthood, she also had defects that compared to other characters in the saga, they were not a role model.

Starting from the little we know about her through the worst memory and Snape's memories, we are going to take some situations into account to assess her defects:

She blamed Snape for the letter Petunia sent to Dumbledore.

She got mad at Snape for dropping a branch on Petunia, even though he did so unconsciously and Petunia was rude to him.

The discussion with Snape about what happened with Remus (werewolf accident), his distrust of who was her friend and believing others before, not caring about Snape.

The lake scene, where she never addressed Snape once, as if he didn't know him and was just another boy to help.

The same lake scene, where she taunted Snape after he called her "Mudblood".

Now, let's talk about the problems at different levels (social, emotional, mental, physical and cultural):

Social: Snape comes from a lower social class than Lily and, although at first the girl Lily did not see the difference, I suppose that as time passed she realized that it did not look good for Snape to wear second hand clothes (surely ), he had serious problems in the family sphere, Snape's own unsociable nature that did not allow him to have a larger group of friends. In childhood we do not usually take into account the social variable when making friends with other children (pre-Hogwarts), but as she became related to the peer group at Hogwarts, she surely could not help feeling somewhat ashamed of the friendship with Snape . Let me explain, in Snape's adulthood it seems that no one knew about Lily and Snape's friendship, so it would be a secret friendship (and we all know that shame towards the other is what leads to secret friendships and relationships).

Emotional: Lily quickly connected with Snape because there was something she needed from him, and it was the knowledge and the desire to be accepted in a place like Hogwarts. Hogwarts was a new world that she did not know and Snape could offer her the security of knowing that world ... But, when she knew what she had to know, Snape had nothing more to offer her, but a clandestine and unrewarding friendship for her. It is not a mistake to think this, but it does show that she deliberately used Snape and that their friendship deteriorated over time. I think she might have felt friendship for Snape in a pure way, but when she began to be friends with the marauders, her emotional level turned towards these guys and she began to move away from Snape. I think the dark arts were an excuse to end the friendship, wanting to get away from him in an interested way ... it's easy to think that, when you really feel empathy for someone, you try to make the effort to understand that person, to know why him he likes the dark arts. However, she Lily was not able to understand him, understand his fears, his insecurities and the need to flee from the hell where he was stuck.Referring to the lake scene, I think Lily had a complete dissociation from Snape by now, she didn't defend being his friend, she didn't speak to him directly even once, and when he made a mistake due to the situation, she scoffed of him and "flirted" with James.

Mental: I think Lily never understood the true meaning of friendship, not at least as she later taught us Harry by understanding Ron and Hermione and accepting his flaws, even when this child was only 11 years old. I think that Lily, as soon as she could, got rid of Snape because she no longer wanted to have an uncomfortable friend, a friend who surely helped her for years in her studies at Hogwarts (I mean surely potions). Snape was like a teacher for Lily in her access to the magical world, he helped her in the study and knowledge of the magical world and I think that Lily stopped seeing usefulness when she already found in Gryffindor and the marauders the way to go her way . I mean, I think she coldly weighed whether or not she was interested in staying friends with Snape and she conveniently cut off the friendship when she got the chance. Lily showed herself to be a cold person who did not understand what Snape was in her whole and who did not appreciate all that he had done for her.I know that calling her "Mudbloods" was not right, but instead of trying to understand the shame and harassment that Snape felt at that time, she broke off the friendship and remained friends with the stalker, the one who emotionally blackmailed her and who continued to be a bully. No one can convince me otherwise.

Physical: here we will talk about the implications of a person who is not really physically attractive. There are studies that determine that people who do not fit the standards of beauty tend to have fewer opportunities in social relationships, love relationships or even find a job. With all this I mean that, when we are children, we do not care about anyone's physical appearance, but when we reach adolescence, our group of equals teach us the canons of beauty, which is considered handsome or what not. In this case, I think Lily was superficial. That is to say, Snape was not physically attractive, surely he did not look comfortable being with him because she was a popular, pretty girl, and he was attracted to a boy who was much more attractive than Snape (even though James was, in my opinion, uglier emotionally and disrespectful to others, adding being a bully). Lily preferred to go for the handsome boy rather than choose a loyal friend who was unattractive.

Cultural: At this level many factors enter, but here I will choose to talk about the differences of ideologies and different culture between Slytherin and Gryffindor. As we know, both houses were enemies, they were the contrast between good and evil in the Harry Potter saga. Slytherin represented everything bad and Gryffindor everything good. Here we also talk about the peer group (that is, a group of people that we consider our equals and from whom we learn cultural, social, emotional and behavioral factors), where Lily in the end ended up choosing to choose Gryffindor and be immersed in ideas prefabs that already existed about Slytherin even though, surely, many ideas were not true. Some of these ideas were hatred towards the "dirty bloods", defending the purity of blood, ambition as a negative element and cunning as if it were something bad that always leads to cheating.Where I see these preconceptions most clearly is in the scene where Lily argues with Snape for defending Mulciber, etc ... in this scene it seems that Lily puts the marauders before (she is supposed to talk about them) because they are from her house and believes that what Mulciber does is worse because he is in Slytherin. Being in Gryffindor, she is believed to have the moral superiority and the right to claim Snape to choose a position, when obviously Snape, like Lily, will choose their peer group. The point here is that Lily prefers to believe the marauders and put Snape in the guilty position, without even asking if his friend is okay or asking him what he saw ... Lily is not interested in knowing what happened because surely he was content with James's version and would always doubt any version Snape could give it.

Up to here, I did my study. It is a bit lazy, I wrote it on the fly and remembering some of the knowledge I acquired when I was studying Pedagogy. But, in essence, I hope you have understood. In the end, Lily opted for what she considered to be okay based on ideas and beliefs that she ended up having with her peer group. She put her friendship with the marauders first and decided to coldly and selfishly eliminate her friendship with Snape. In the end, we have all had friends from whom we have moved away because they no longer shared things with us (although I can presume that I never alienated anyone for thinking differently or liking things that I did not like), but also friends that we have from all our lives, with those of us who do not like things about them, but accept them and try to understand them, where the company of that person is valued more and we do not care what they tell us. It is true that the "peer group" exerts a lot of influence on us, despising those who consider strange people or have unusual habits for the majority of the population. But Snape and Lily met in childhood, this factor should not have been decisive for their estrangement and, I am afraid, that in the almost of Lily, he ended up accepting the conditions of his peer group to the detriment of maintaining a friendship that so much contributed. I don't hate Lily, I have no problem with her, for me she really is a flat character, too overrated and that only has a few three lines in the entire Harry Potter saga. It is impossible to empathize with her as we would with other characters and she hardly has any development of her. The most remarkable thing about her is that she gave her life for her son, otherwise she showed us a girl who had a strange friendship with Snape and who married the popular boy of her time.

[tuber-culosis]

I've been reading through a lot of radfem blogs and posts lately. and gotta say, i'm leaning a lot towards radical feminism. And im definitely gender critical.

but one topic I want to talk about in particular is the criticism of Islam.

Which I feel is totally valid considering the current state of mainstream islam and Muslims.

Mainstream Islam (is what you see on all social media, seemingly practised by a lot of Muslims) IS sexist. And homophobic. There's no use denying it, neither do I think I'm a bad Muslim for not supposedly defending my own religion. You have to recognise the flaws in your own system to improve and progress.

Then arises the question why am I still Muslim then/ why do I still practise Islam? If I recognise the way it is practised is sexist and homophobic, which are things I'm against?

The difference lies in my belief that "mainstream Islam" is much different from the root of Islam.

Many (read: a LOT, not all) modern Muslims have been influenced by ultra conservative movements that want to return Islam to the way they believe was practised during the time of the Prophet (pbuh), ie; some centuries back. This is propagated by the ideas of Salafism and Wahhabism that frankly, prevent progress, reform or any sort of growth in Muslim communities.

I personally have witnessed this in my own country, India, where women are increasingly wearing the hijab and even full body covering purdahs, not talking to the opposite gender, men not looking a woman other than their wives in the eye, etc compared to when my mother was a child, when almost all Muslim women dressed in normal comfortable clothes and there were no much gender segregations. (Gender segregation still existed to a certain degree due to conservative Indian culture ofc)

This radicalisation led to the development of ultra conservative Muslims who enforce sexist, homophobic and separatist policies in the name of God.

They claim to want to return to "true Islam" but they add so many unnecessary rules and regulations you have to follow in order to be a "true Muslim" that are almost so impossible to follow I can vouch I have unconciously broken like 50 of them in one day maybe. These "laws" are derived from:

1. The hadith

2. Arab culture

3. Poor translation of the Quran to fit these radical ideals.

Explaining each of these in a little more detail,

1. A lot of practising Muslims might come at me for this one, but I feel that considering the hadith to be a holy source of guidance and believing everything in the Hadith when there are so many contradictions and logical fallacies, is foolish.

For those who have no clue what the hadith is, Islam basically has the Qur'an, which is, as we believe, a holy book revealed by God to the Prophet (pbuh), which acts as divine guidance on how to live life as a good person. It has rules, suggestions, and guidance to take desicions on a lot of everyday matters we face. It was a godsend (hehe pun fully intended) to women, who weren't even allowed to own property back then. Muslims believe that the Quran is guaranteed againt corruption by God, as revealed in one of the verses. Therefore, to a believer, it is THE book to consult, and the verses will never change, no matter how many years pass. There's actually a really interesting way the Quran is coded, so people can know if it has been tampered with or not, if anyone is interested. But the bottom line is, for a Muslim, the verses of Quran cannot be challenged. There are various INTERPRETATIONS of said verses, but the core Arabic text is the same.

Now there is a secondary source of guidance in the form of Hadith, which is literature that claims to record things the Prophet (pbuh) has said in his lifetime. The problem I find, along with other hadith critics, is that it was compiled much later after the death of the Prophet. Muslims argue that these hadiths were passed down in a proper recorded chain of transmitters that can assure the message hasn't been altered or tampered with. The problem is, that the standard used then was just how reliable was a person's memory and how trustworthy they were, and they did not actually judge the actual content of the hadith. So even if a hadith hypothetically said "Kill all the disbelievers", (which, fyi, it does NOT) and it had a reliable chain of recorders, it would be accepted as "sahih" (trustworthy) hadith, even though it clearly goes against the guidelines of the Quran, where it says there shall be no compulsion in religion (which implies you cannot just murder anyone who refuses to believe/ believes another religion). If one actually examined the content of this imaginary hadith, it would be easy to see it's tampered with by people with or without malicious intent (for eg, it might've actually been "You can kill the disbelievers ONLY if they attack you and will not leave you and your family alone") or some may not even remotely be the words of the Prophet, as he only followed the Quran.

Also, the integrity of the Hadith isn't guaranteed by God anywhere in the Quran. To know more about this, I suggest you read this link , and this one.

So yeah, I take hadith with a (large) grain of salt. So I will not be including them in my discussion obviously.

Now a lot of these hadith have been fabricated, as established, or reflect something that was applicable specifically in that time and setting, seeing that the Prophet was an ordinary man who couldn't predict the future or know about all the different cultures of the world.

So even if the headscarf was a part of Arabian attire, that doesn't mean it has to be assimilated into our cultures now. Just because prostitutes used to pluck all their eyebrows out to signify that they are prostitutes (sex work is forbidden in Islam, because of the negative impact on women and society), doesn't mean that women are not allowed to pluck their eyebrows now.

Following these hadith blindly without considering for a moment that hey, these might be outdated, seeing it isn't meant for all time periods like the Quran, and half of these contradict themselves, maybe we shouldn't consider this as an authority on rules in Islam. Personally, I don't believe anything is forbidden that is mentioned as such solely in the Hadith, and not in the Quran.

But the staunch belief in all of these Hadith leads to micromanaging of women, and literally everyone else. Few ridiculous examples include:

women can't pluck their eyebrows

men can't wear silk or gold, and they need to grow beards

music and dance is forbidden (seriously???)

the Prophet married a literal child of nine years (no do not try to justify it as "it was acceptable back then". According to the Qur'an it wasn't. Girls had to be mature enough to reject or agree to marriages and literal children can't do that. There is plenty of research to prove that Aisha (ra), his wife, was at the very least 19 or 20. Again a case of unreliable and maybe purposefully manipulated Hadith. Scholars and people who uphold the theory that Aisha was 9, and hence, child marriage is legal are pedophiles through and through)

I feel that if anything, hadith should be considered with the authority of historical commentary, giving us more context to the times, and should never be blindly trusted just because a lot of scholars say it is a "sahih" (trusted) hadith.

Also a main feature of Islam is that you don't need an extra priest (no offence to religions who have priests) or a scholar to tell you things and intervene with God for you. You have a holy book, your own common sense and humanity, and you pray to establish a connection with God. Scholars are secondary OPINIONS who can provide insight from their knowledge and research to people who want it, but by no means any authority on things, just like hadith.

2. Arab culture and society, especially back the times that radicals want to emulate, was heavily patriarchal. Islam gave women rights and protection, but they were still limited by the cultural norms of that era.

What these people actually want is to return society to Arabic culture in that time period. (Exhibit A: the abaya/purdah for women and khandoorah for men. exhibit B: sex-segregated spaces)

Back then, women were expected to be caretakers and mothers, and men were expected to be the strong masculine protector.

Enforcing said cultural norms into modern day Islam is ridiculous. Saying that women rarely left the house back then, hence women shouldn't leave their houses now is the same as saying there weren't phones back then, so I shouldn't use one now. Would you ever give up your phones? So how about we do the same to women's autonomy and freedom? Adapt to modern times like regular humans?

If women were meant to stay at home, and meant to just rear children, and never meant to be seen in public, and never meant to be seen by the opposite sex, as extremists say "is God's will", then why is none of this found in the Quran? Do you seriously believe that God, describe multiple times as All-forgiving and generous and kind, would ever persecute women to such a fate? If you do believe that, then maybe you need to re-examine in the nature of God that you believe in. Also if you tell me the "it's for their safety" gimmick, I will flip out. It has been proved multiple times that a woman's dressing has nothing whatsoever to do with why men rape.

Sure, Islam advocates for modesty in dressing, for both sexes. Both are called to not stare rudely (many Muslim men seem to forget that part of the verse, strangely), both are advised to dress in modest, comfortable, clean and practical attire. Never once is anything remotely like "YOU'LL GO TO HELL IF YOU EXPOSE YOUR ELBOW, WOMAN". But the way modern Muslims enforce the dress code (some even going to the lengths of saying women shouldn't wear BRIGHT COLOURED CLOTHES, so as to not attract attention!!! I'm looking at you, Mufti Menk), you'd think that God says something much worse than that. Infact God pulls out Uno reverse, and encourages us to dress as beautifully as we want, especially when visiting the mosque.

3. A lot of English translations of the Quran come from Saudi Arabia. A country famous for its conservative practise of Islam. While the original Arabic text cannot be changed, a lot of these translations include information in parantheses that add "rules" based on the above mentioned factors, that a casual reader or a new Muslim who doesn't know Arabic will consider to be authentic rules of the Quran, extrapolated from the verse, and not extra additions that are often derived from hadith. A very good example of this is the headcover verse, which you can see in this link.

Even all the hostility surrounding homosexual people has been derived from cultural influences and one set of verses. From around 6000 verses, just a single set passingly mention homosexuality. Don't you think that if it truly were such a great sin, God would have explicitly forbidden it? Also why would he create such a natural variation in sexuality and then forbid it? Why isn't it forbidden for animals then? Is all-loving God that cruel to create this natural and healthy attraction in them and then explicitly forbid it when straight people get to marry and live life in bliss? (Please don't say that "God also created pedophilia, and that's natural, so by this logic shouldn't we allow that too?" because pedophilia IS NOT HEALTHY, AT ALL. IT'S IS A DISORDER. Unlike homosexuality) I'm also not picking and choosing things to fit my lifestyle, as some might say, as I am straight, and the only reason I support the LGBT community because I have basic humanity?? And they're humans who deserve rights and joy and freedom and acceptance just like the rest of us.

There have been reformed translations of Quran which examine the verse without prior bias against LGBT people, and they have presented an alternate translation, that the verse condemns sexual assault, which happened to be homosexual in the particular story. Check out this link too, which explains how closely examining the words used could change the meaning from one thing to another.

What I attempted to prove in this extremely long post is that the practise of a religion isn't necessarily the reflection of its true nature.

There are progressive open-minded people who believe in Islam because it gives them hope and solace. People who believe because core beliefs of Islam aligned with their own views and simple logic.

NOT to say there aren't religious bigots who will totally use religion to manipulate people into oppressing themselves or other people. There are, there are a LOT of people like that who call themselves "scholars". And there are a lot of people who follow these extremely harmful regressive version of Islam without critically thinking about what they are following.

I've seen a post discussing the meaning of the word Islam, which means submission to God. It said that it implies total submission, without questioning what we believe.

That is an argument used by both religious extremists to further their beliefs, and by the opposite side, who say the religion is oppressive.

I wish to present a view that Islam itself tells us to think critically, to use our brains to question everything and anything we believe. And then to arrive at our own conclusions. And if you're a decent, kind human, those beliefs maybe align with Islam (not saying that if you're not Muslim, you're horrible, that is not what I meant at all). And if the opinion between people differs, there's always logic and reasoning behind every rule that is presented in the Quran. Don't believe me? Here's the verse that tells people not to blindly follow their parents' religion. And here's a list of verses about critical thinking.

The reason we (atleast reformist Muslims) submit to God is because we questioned it, we came to the conclusion that Hey! This is right. I can submit to my Creator by, who is basically the consciousness that created everything and is the source of all goodness, love and strength, because the rules mentioned here make sense and they privde a moral framework for me to base important desicions on. They feel right. And there is logic behind everything written in this.

I don't mean to present Islam as an all-perfect amazing religion everyone should believe and that I'm right, everyone else, especially those liberal atheists who criticise my religion are wrong and WILL BURN IN HELL. I consider Islam a perfect moral framework, and that's my business only. Anyone can follow what they want and it's none of my business. In fact there is no compulsion in religion at all, and people who say Muslim or go to hell are wrong imo.

What I intended was to paint a picture of reformist Muslims who are still out there, who follow the religion because they questioned it. And not the religion as this stringent rule book we all have to follow down to a t, micromanaging every aspect of our lives and living in perpetual fear of hell, but rather this basic moral guide that teaches us tact, compassion and justice, to bring us closer to God spiritually. I wanted to show that the majority isn't always reflective of what I think is the true core of Islam.

I feel that many practises in the name of Islam are highly questionable and should be criticized, but I also want people to know that the people who seemingly represent the religion, are not representative of the entire mass of believers. That sometimes the practises you might criticize might have nothing to do with the actual religion, atleast according to some of us. It was also for fellow Muslims who might be in the same place I was a few years ago, questioning everything I had learnt was part of my religion.

This is also NOT to undermine struggles of people forced to follow Islam and its seeming requirements like hijab. This is not to claim that nope, every Muslim is fine and ok, and we're all peaceful progressive people. In fact I wish to do the exact opposite, to show that people who enforce oppressive policies in the name of Islam aren't actually backed by the religion and neither should they be backed by other Muslims. I'm also not trying to say no one should criticize Islam. Criticism helps us grow. Criticism is necessary to uncover oppression and eradicate it. So by all means, criticize.

I'm so glad I found the subreddit r/progressive_Islam when I did because it helped me a lot, and opened me to other like-minded progressive Muslims, who actively hope to counter the negative effects of Salafism and conservatism that is overtaking Islam.

So yeah, I think I covered almost everything I wanted to talk about and here's a final link that pretty much just states my position on things.

PS idk why this thingy is in different colours it just seemed cooler and less boring to read

[notathingjustthere]

Not This Time

A/N: Honestly this feels incomplete and dry but I got frustrated arguing with myself lol. I wanted to post something today, because if I keep pushing it off I will never post anything so here it is. I’m trying.  

Pairing: Ransom Drysdale x Reader

Word Count: 3525

Summary: Ransom oversteps a boundary and cannot seem to accept the consequence of you ignoring him permanently.

The rude interruption that graced your morning, would leave drained for the rest of your day. Your blurred eyes slowly zeroed in on the small scraps of confetti that would eventually cover the floors of your bedroom. The popping sound had woken you up in alarm, and the frown that graced your face said enough. 

The evil faces that turned up in your bedroom were painted in glee, whiles they wished you a happy birthday in unison. “And who’s cleaning that up?” you groaned, naturally reaching for the phone on your bedside table and squinting when the brightness assaults your eyes.

It was only 9:23 in the morning, the alarm was usually set for 11:30 on your weekdays, but you tended to snooze till 12:15. You weren't a morning person and your friend Lizzie knew this when she pleaded on your behalf, arguing that 10:00 was a far more reasonable time to wake you up. Mila, your other friend had disregarded the input of course. 

As of late your weekends were more often than not reserved for sleep, this one being no different. Monday would be a holiday so the next 72 hours were intended to be spent alone in your house, at least that had been the plan. You had been feeling more dull than usual, and even your restocked liquor cabinet failed to excite you. 

The brunch set up in your backyard was very much up to par with your tastes.  It felt pointless to change so you still wore your pajamas, after washing your face and complaining about the time. Your friends had gone all out for the small gathering, hiring quite the eye candy of servers. Each one waited at the table, ready to help you girls to your seats. 

Your eyes lingered on one of the men a bit longer than intended, and the unexpected wink sent your way forced your eyes to look elsewhere. Mila jerked at your elbow, before wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at you. You had rolled your eyes before bursting out in laughter, enjoying the rest of your late morning meal with your two best girlies. It had been a while since you saw your friends, so you were glad, to say the least

Unlike you, Lizzie and Mila grew up accustomed to a lifestyle that only old money could provide. They didn't work as often as you did, which made it harder to fit into each other's schedules during the week. You did not grow up poor per se, but when compared to your friends, you could have been perceived that way. Your mother was a professor at Brown University, a fairly successful woman you thought. 

You had found your own definition for success, living comfortably and content with yourself,  as you often described it. Working in a high-level position for a growing green energy company, you took pride in your resilience. Many of your years were filled with uncertainties but finally, you had made something of yourself. The full ride to Harvard was where you met Lizzie and Mila, never expecting to develop a long-lasting relationship.

The cell you kept for personal use remained ignored after Lizzie dragged you out of bed that morning. The ringer was often placed on silent, resulting in poor communication habits with your friends. It was noon before you thought to check your device, the notification centre being flooded with messages and alerts. 

Most you assumed were birthday wishes from people you hardly talked to anymore and some that you were only associated with because of status. They meant very little to you, but the sham thankful replies you sent were only to keep face. 

A particular contact had occupied your thoughts for the past two weeks. The spam of messages you left open yet unread grew steadily. You were intent on ignoring him for as long as you felt necessary. He was not important enough to ruin your mood this weekend, or so you thought.

The last bits of sparkling wine settled nicely in your stomach, your chest feeling warm and tingly. You appreciated the quality time spent with your friends but it was time to resume back to your initial plan for the weekend. Lizzie and Mila had their own plans and intended to make your day as lively as possible. On any other day, you’d be down for a good time, but as of late you felt out the mix.

For gifts, Mila had opted for this beautiful emerald green bag from Bulgar. The serpent’s head-shaped clasp suited your corporate persona, which she admired. Lizzie gifted you a pair of Prada boots that she felt were suitable to your tastes. 

It was 6 pm when the two informed you of the private room they reserved at a club. Lizzie’s boyfriend would attend, including two other guests, you were well acquainted with. You weren’t interested at first but eventually caved in at the last minute thought of letting loose and having some fun. 

Your ringer silenced another phone call, it was his 86th one since last Friday. You were impressed with his persistence, figuring he would have given up by now. Newer messages had poured in, none of which you spared a glance until the last message he sent in.

“Fine, if this is how you wanna play it” you read. 

The spat you had gotten into with Ransom, had been your last straw. He was quite the specimen, but a prick at that. The trust fund baby had been spoiled his whole life, and couldn’t seem to handle not having his way for once. 

The relationship that brewed between you both could only be described as complicated. It had taken a lot to manage and handle the baggage he brought with him, but you both had balanced each other for a period of time. Now, you were bent on moving on, trying to convince yourself that you were over him, as he also tried to.

It was at Mila’s charity event that you would officially meet the douche, having only heard of him before. The free champagne helped soothe your nerves that night, as you often would be riddled in anxiety. It was an art exhibition, and you’d gotten roped into a conversation with the famous Harlan Thrombey, discussing a painting you knew a thing or two about. 

That was when Ransom had walked in, interrupting the conversation. You had turned away, fiddling with your glass as you patiently waited for them to finish whatever it was they were briefly discussing. Harlan turned to you, and introduced Ransom, before announcing that he would have to leave you shortly to give a speech. 

At the time Ransom didn't really catch your eye, you avoided making eye contact as you usually would with new people and had missed the way he looked at you. He wanted you in his bed for the night, and you had indulged him likewise. You were gone by morning that day, never being one to wait for the usual awkward boot out. 

Maybe you didn't notice it at first, but his face had begun popping up at your usual spots more and more. You’d run into him at a coffee shop where you often scheduled meetings with prospective clients. There were a couple more hookups here and there before he asked you out to dinner five months down the line. That was almost three years ago. 

Neither one of you talked about making the relationship official until you initiated the conversation. You had been on multiple dates, including the occasional family dinners his family hosted. You never did like attending them, but Ransom had wanted you at his side. You both spent a lot of time at each other's homes, and soon enough it wasn't just for the sex. 

He’d thought of you as his home and maybe you did too. On most days you preferred to have your space, but as of late you missed his not-so-subtle touches whenever he’d pass by you in the kitchen. 

That didn't seem to matter now, because you would never admit it out loud or to yourself. Ransom on the other hand loved being in close contact most of the time. As much as he denied the fact, you’d let him pretend the cuddling sessions during movie nights were due to the lack of space on the couch. 

You never got accustomed to Ransom’s lavish tastes. He’d been quite the spender on gifts and more times than not you insisted that he return most of his purchases. You could appreciate expensive things, but much rather make those purchases yourself. 

He only ever did demand that you keep a particular gift, one you’d almost given back after learning of its monetary value. The personalised bracelet with his and your initials on it had been your favourite. Not once did you ever take it off, and even now you still wore it after two weeks of ignoring him. 

It all started when your boss confronted you about an offer he didn’t expect you to decline so quickly. He insisted that you take your time to reconsider, and you had been confused, having never heard anything about it. You were suspicious of Ransom, almost immediately, but thought to give him the benefit of the doubt. 

At times he could be controlling, something you’d catch once in a while when you paid attention. There would be discussions about it, but oftentimes things got brushed aside as petty jealousy or mindless over-protectiveness. This time, you couldn’t and wouldn't let it slide. 

It was at dinner time when you decided to break out your thoughts and bring something up. You wanted to avoid confrontation, knowing he’d probably try to lie to your face or react in a way you were not ready to handle. He asked about your day as he usually would, and you took the chance to talk about what your boss mentioned, unaccusing of course. 

He played along with your confusion for a while, looking unimpressed as you went on. The contract would require your stay in China for two years, assisting in project management at the company’s main plant. Two years seemed long, and you could understand why the news was not exactly exciting. You had merely mentioned that you were considering the offer when he cut you off.  

“Well that's stupid, is this some kind of joke?” Ransom's response was expected but you had hoped he would show remorse more if anything. You frowned, arms folded when asking him to elaborate on how he was feeling

“I mean, you're gonna leave me for two years? What am I supposed to do, just wait for you?” 

“I would hope so, considering all that we have been through to make this work?”

“Come on, really?” he chuckled darkly, “You think I would wait?” 

“Why are you acting like this? I thought at the very least you'd pretend to be happy for me before reacting this way” you moved your hands in a way that emphasised your point. 

“Oh like you don't know that I declined the offer.”

The sigh you let out was deep. There it was, the confession you wanted out of him. You hated being lied to more than anything and were very disappointed he played along with your little act for even just a little bit. 

“I mean, but what did you expect? That I wouldn't find out about something as important to me as this?” 

“So what, I’m not as important?” he tried changing the topic.

“You know that's not what I mean, and you don't get to play the victim here. I-i don't get it with you, I’m always understanding, so why can't you return the favour”

He turned silent, which you thought was disappointing considering he had so much to say before. The anger you were trying so hard to settle down began to rear its ugly head.  It was a couple more minutes of silence before he opened his mouth to say something.

“You didn't think I’d find it suspicious that your boss was transferring with you?”

Your brows furrowed in confusion at that. Jonathan had not mentioned anything like that and you knew Ransom didn't like him, especially after a particular encounter at your office. 

He had shown up at your job unannounced a year ago to surprise you for your birthday when he saw the arrangements of flowers that decorated your office. Ransom did not look impressed at the scene, and knowing he would never partake in such a gesture you ruled him out. It wasn't until you noticed the card attached to one of the flowers that read out your boss's name.

“Great Job closing that deal, and a happy birthday! - Jonathan.”  

As if on queue the head of the department walked in with smiles, asking if you enjoyed his gifts. He rambled on about not knowing what you would like, so figured he’d get a little bit of everything.  

“She hates flowers,” Ransom had cut in without hesitation, your eyes widening at his remark. Leave it to him to make the inappropriate gesture from your boss even more awkward. 

“He’s not wrong, but I really do appreciate the sentiment. Thank you” you had given him a kind smile, trying to save face. You couldn't remember what happened after that except Jonathan leaving and your boyfriend silently fuming as he walked over to your window. 

You turned your attention to him, raising an eyebrow as if to question his behaviour. You were not angry with him, this was a rare moment where you actually appreciated his blunt tongue. Hopefully, your boss would now relent in his not-so-subtle advances. 

But that was a long time ago, and frankly, it didn't matter because he was focused on the wrong thing at hand. He had invaded your privacy then lied about it by not saying anything. 

“First of all I got this promotion because I worked my fucking ass off, I don't know what Johnathan has to do with anything.” you decided to defend yourself. Whatever it was that he was insinuating didn't matter because you weren't having it.

“Yeah, you fucking worked your ass off alright. You've got him so whipped that he even gets you flowers” 

You gasped, and it wasn't so much that the words hurt you, but rather the fact that he’d been clearly harbouring this since that day. There was not much you could do about unsolicited gifts that you never accepted in the first place. Besides, after Ransom’s visit, your boss had ceased all efforts. 

“Do you actually hear how insane that sounds? What the fuck was I supposed to do about that?” You reasoned, the calmness in your voice was long gone. 

“Quit” he was so arrogant and entitled. 

You scoffed,  “Well I’m sorry, but some of us actually have to work, to earn a living” the tone you took to, spoke well for you.

“I can take care of you, you know that” 

“That sounds nice and all, but I can’t depend on a man who’s never worked a day in his life.” There it was again, the silence.  

“You don't even seem sorry, and you've yet to apologize” the disappointment was evident on your face. 

He rubbed his hands over his face, his nose flaring up in annoyance, “I did what was best for us”  

“No, you did what was best for you” you started but had lost your train of thought. 

“You still don't fucking get it, do you? It's one thing to not want me to leave, but it's completely different when you think that you get to make decisions for me.” the words spewed out. 

“I'm tired of trying to reason with you Ransom, okay? We are done”

It wasn't even a second after, before he grabbed your arm, tightening his hold on you and yanking you towards him. “We are not done until I say we are” 

For a moment there he scared you, he had never put his hands on you like that, at least not outside the bedroom. Your stance did not falter when you yanked your arm away from him “Don't you ever put your hands on me again.”  

The initial shock had long subsided when you decided to speak for the last time. “Let me remind you, that you're that one that begs me back every single time! But not this time, I'm tired of you. T-tired of your shit, the jealousy, childishness, everything!” Those were your last words before your tearducts gave up. 

It was the first time he had ever seen you actually cry. Occasionally he would witness you shed a tear or two, like when you’d receive a wrong order of what you wanted, or something equally as petty.

 He tried to come closer in an attempt to comfort you, but you pushed him aside then turned away. He decided to walk out then and there, leaving you to deal with your own sorrows. 

You remember that day so vividly, and each time the memory replayed you did something to distract yourself. Much like you were doing right now at the club with your friends. The boost that alcohol gave you, left you chatty but numb. 

The buzz had you going for a while, completely indulged in a game of pool with Mila who was effortlessly schooling you. She could not let you win, not even on your birthday. It was the commotion at the door that drew your attention to Ransom arguing with the security guard and Lizzie's boyfriend, Dan. 

“Look dude, she doesn't want you here. Come on don't make this difficult” you didn't realise it but you had made your way towards Dan’s voice, not really processing what was going on. It was the sound of Ransom's knuckles punching Dan in his nose that woke you up from your little daze.  

“I said get out of my way” Ransom tried to push his way through.

“Ransom” you yelled out.

His head turned towards you rushing to Dan who held his nose up in pain. You apologised profusely as you checked his injury, thankful that nothing was broken or bleeding. You turned to your ex-boyfriend annoyed, ready to talk his ear off until you remembered you didn't care anymore.

“If you think this is how to get me to talk to you in good grace, then I don't know what to tell you,” you said, pointing behind you at Dan and Lizzie.

“What do you want? ”You sighed frustrated, after signalling the security guard off. He really wasn't making this easy for you. His hands had twitched before when you held Dan’s face to inspect his nose. He knew better than to make things any worse than it already was. 

“Look, so maybe, I have stuff to work on, and maybe we can both work on this”

“Mmm, you think so?” you asked rhetorically. It took him two weeks to come to this conclusion, and you noted how he did not start with apologies. He wanted to skip out on the guilt, but you wouldn't let him.

He tried to get closer to you, wanting to feel you against him and to reminisce in the sweet warmth he missed so much. You allowed him to, and for a moment you revelled in his familiar body heat as well, ignoring everything else around you. You let go of him after a while, distancing yourself to make it easier on you.

It took a lot to keep your composure, a part of you wanting him back but knew much wouldn’t change if you did. You took a deep breath, mentally preparing yourself to relay whatever decision you had made. You were right about one thing, Ransom would always beg you back. Never-ending the cycle of broken boundaries, possessiveness, and jealousy. 

“Look Ransom, I couldn’t give you another chance even if I wanted to” you sighed loudly. “I-it goes against my principles, and that's all I have right now. So please, just leave.” you pleaded.

Ransom’s eyes hardened, he wouldn’t back down. This time you noticed the speck of regret in his eyes, but to damn with his jealousy. He didn't want this to end, and he hadn’t meant for it to. 

“Come on, don't be so stubborn, Y/N. I love you, is that what you want me to say? I’ll do anything just say the word” 

You smiled with hurt in your eyes as you looked at him. The words didn't mean much to you when his actions suggested otherwise. It was the insincere note in his tone that made it easier, but maybe he had meant it. His eyes were much more expressive than his words could be, not that it changed anything.

You simply shook your head no, looking down at your hands and playing with your fingers. 

“No, you don't” 

The cheap trick at making amends, would not coax your forgiveness, not this time.

Thank you for reading :) 

A/N: My  sister requested that I put her in the credits for her lil two cents in some of the dialogue, so here she goes. 

[ibijau]

It is @veraverorum ‘s birthday today! So they get a birthday fanfic, because I love them!!

(also on AO3)

It hadn’t been Nie Huaisang’s plan to visit Lan Xichen in seclusion.

But that was the issue, of course. Lan Xichen always interfered with his plans, willingly or not. That stupid man, with his too forgiving heart and his big eyes, his strong shoulders… Nie Huaisang’s entire life would have been much easier if that idiot of a man had been even just a little less handsome.

Not just because of the effect it had on him, Nie Huaisang told himself every time he became angry about it. He was not the only one who had put up with Lan Xichen longer than necessary just because he happened to be handsome when he smiled. Surely the Lans would have realised what a fool their sect leader was, if they hadn’t been blinded by his good looks and his undeserved air of wisdom. And Jin Guangyao either hadn’t been immune, or else he would have gotten rid of the man who forced him to continue pretending he was a paragon of virtue.

Lan Xichen had one great skill, and it was to be so handsome people became as stupid as he was just to get one smile from him.

It wasn’t a bad skill. It certainly was one Nie Huaisang envied on occasions. His own life would have been much easier if he’d had such a talent… but instead, that beauty had been wasted on a man who thought people were mostly good and deserving of second chances.

What a joke.

Nie Huaisang had opened a bottle of Emperor’s Smile when he’d heard that Lan Xichen had entered seclusion, and privately celebrated what he’d thought to be the man’s first wise decision in a lifetime. He’d also celebrated the fact that, now that he was safe from the effect of those kind eyes and strong shoulders, he would regain some degree of control over his traitorous desires.

Perhaps Nie Huaisang too was a fool sometimes. The effect Lan Xichen had on people couldn’t be countered by mere absence, he soon learned. And after only a few months, he found himself missing Lan Xichen’s company.

It was only because of old habits, he told himself at first. After a decade of constant contact through letters and visits, of course he’d grown used to Lan Xichen’s frequent presence, useless as that had been. It would pass with time.

Time passed indeed, but the gnawing coldness in his heart did not, and Nie Huaisang instead found himself longing for Lan Xichen with increasing frequency. Everything reminded him of that man, be it his birds (Lan Xichen had more than once complimented how well trained they were), his favourite painting brush (a present from Lan Xichen. He should have burned it and gotten another, but it was a very good brush), a set of robes (Lan Xichen owned one that matched it), or even the damn sunset (it had been a very pretty one though, and Lan Xichen had a fondness for those).

It took Nie Huaisang a while to understand why his thoughts always returned to Lan Xichen. Partly because he had little time to spare for that problem, busy as he was preparing the return of his sect’s former glory. Then, one evening, in the company of some passable wine and a frankly pathetic novel, Nie Huaisang was hit by a realisation: if he couldn’t stop thinking about Lan Xichen, it might have been because he was in love with the man.

The idea was ridiculous. Repulsive, almost.

Whatever else others might have thought of him, Nie Huaisang knew his own value. He had proven himself to be smarter and more cunning than anyone else in his generation. His appearance was also above average, even if he’d looked rather awkward before puberty worked its magic, meaning he’d been left out when that stupid list of bachelors had been created. His cultivation was on the lower side, but only compared to some of his most talented peers. In fact, Wei Wuxian in his current body had a much worse level than him, and would remain that way until Lan Wangji had fucked a golden core into him. Then, there was the matter of Nie Huaisang’s other accomplishments, which were many: he had perfect mastery of the six arts, he’d learned to be politically astute, his taste was excellent in all things.

Almost all things.

Apparently, when it came to men, his tastes were shit. After all Lan Xichen had nothing to commend himself except a pretty face, a pleasing body, and a charming smile. Certainly he had also once been a very accomplished young man, but the burden of leading Gusu Lan had not left him a lot of time to continue improving his mind, and he wasn’t quite as interesting a person to chat with as he’d been.

Lan Xichen was a man one might have taken a fancy to, a man perfectly fine to fantasise about, perhaps even to fuck once or twice for the novelty of it if he could be convinced, but that was it. Only a fool would have fallen in love with such a person, and Nie Huaisang wasn’t a fool.

He refused to be one.

So he took that unpleasant realisation and set out to destroy any unnecessary emotions. He tried, at first, to simply stop thinking about Lan Xichen. A vain effort, he soon realised: the more he wanted to avoid that topic, the more his mind lingered back onto it. Nie Huaisang thus decided another approach was necessary, and started working on a detailed list of all of Lan Xichen’s faults.

The list was lengthy enough. Lan Xichen was a fool, he was blind to the fault of others (a kind heart), lacked judgement (trusting), had horrible taste in friends (Nie Huaisang was hardly better), he was weak willed (but only on personal matters), too forgiving (and yet he had killed Jin Guangyao in the end)...

The list was a mistake. It did nothing to reduce Nie Huaisang’s feelings, and only ended up highlighting those qualities of Lan Xichen he disliked thinking about, since they ruined his comforting image of the man as a complete idiot.

Briefly, Nie Huaisang considered looking for a different lover. For a wife even, if it came to that. The idea was dismissed as quickly as it came to him. He didn’t feel ready to get married, not until his sect was back to its proper place as a great one, and he certainly felt no inclination toward the concept of having children. He’d rather pass the title of sect leader to some talented cousin or even a no-name disciple who would have proved their value, rather than some brat whose only accomplishment was to have been born and who would feel entitled to power for that reason, regardless of talent. 

And as for merely taking a lover… searching for a replacement was too much of a hassle. He’d have to find someone handsome, reliable, trustworthy, capable of putting up with his personality… and at that point, it’d be easier to just seduce Lan Xichen than find another person with those exact same qualities.

Having reached that conclusion, Nie Huaisang accepted the inescapable and started planning a visit to the Cloud Recesses.

It couldn’t be good for Lan Xichen to remain isolated, anyway.

-

It was surprisingly easy to get into the Cloud Recesses. It helped, of course, that Nie Huaisang had timed his visit carefully, so that Lan Wangji and his too-suspicious husband were away on a Night Hunt when he happened to come by. Those two would have interfered with his plans, while Lan Qiren, even though now aware of his true personality, had some lingering affection for Nie Huaisang. He’d been the old teacher’s worst student for three years in a row after all. That sort of thing created bonds.

Besides, Wei Wuxian’s mild dislike of Nie Huaisang could only serve as a recommendation.

So Lan Qiren welcomed Nie Huaisang with all the honours due to a sect leader. They had tea together and played weiqi while discussing the different problems Nie Huaisang had invented to come there. He had, he realised, missed the Cloud Recesses. The place had an air of careful elegance, an ethereal look to it that contrasted sharply with his own home in the Unclean Realm. Luckily, he would get to enjoy it for more than that single afternoon. In spite of his and Lan Qiren’s efforts, they were not able to solve everything that Nie Huaisang had needed to discuss, so he was invited to stay the night. Nie Huaisang tried to protest, and pretended he couldn’t possibly impose himself that way, when already his visit had been unplanned, but Lan Qiren would hear none of it and had a guest room prepared for him.

Dinner was a pleasant enough affair. The food was plain, and there could be no conversation because of Lan rules, but silence was not an unpleasant thing, and Nie Huaisang had a fondness for Gusu Lan’s tasteless cooking. 

After eating, Lan Qiren and him chatted some more. They talked about events of their youth, and about how promising the new generation was. They talked about mistakes they’d rather have avoided, and those they would repeat in a heartbeat. Lan Qiren had always been pleasant to chat with, and that only became more true as Nie Huaisang became older. Then, at last, Lan Qiren had to send his guest to his room, and bid him goodnight. Nie Huaisang answered in kind.

Alone in his guest room, Nie Huaisang sat on the bed and waited. He waited, first, for the bell signaling bedtime. Then for the second one which announced that the curfew had started. After this he waited a little more, just for safety, and left his room.

To make himself as silent as possible, and to give the illusion that he was merely sleeping, should someone enter the room, Nie Huaisang left his boots behind. The gravel of various paths was uncomfortable under his feet, but he’d dealt with more painful things before, and he didn’t stay very long on the path anyway. Having come to this place for so long as a youth, having returned to it so often as an adult, Nie Huaisang prided himself in knowing every shortcut to every part of the Cloud Recesses. It was easy, then, to make his way to the isolated little house where Lan Qiren had mentioned that his nephew had chosen to live for the duration of his seclusion.

There was a light inside the house, the flickering flame of a candle that weakly offered a beacon into the night. Nie Huaisang smiled at the sight, both because his plan would be easier if he didn’t have to wake Lan Xichen, and because being still up was a blatant violation of Lan rules. Having broken one rule, Lan Xichen had to be in a mindset where breaking more might be considered. Encouraged by this, Nie Huaisang knocked on the door.

For a moment there was only silence coming from inside. Then the faint sound of ruffling fabrics, of light steps on a wooden floor, and the door opened to reveal Lan Xichen.

Lan Xichen looked much more put together than Nie Huaisang would have expected. It worried him briefly, as a Lan Xichen in full possession of his senses would be harder to seduce. But there was still a certain air to the other man, something in the way his robes were slightly too creased, his hair not tied quite as tight as usual… Lan Xichen wasn’t at his worst (good, Nie Huaisang had no interest in a pity party) but he wasn’t quite at his best either, and that was all that mattered.

So Nie Huaisang put on his silliest smile, and prepared himself for a little game.

“Er-ge! I was here for business and I just thought it’d be nice to say hi!’ he chirped. “I hope you don’t mind? I know you’re in seclusion, but…”

“Stop,” Lan Xichen cut him, his face turning pale.

Nie Huaisang tilted his head and blinked innocently, even going so far as allowing himself a slight pout

 “Er-ge? Are you angry that I came? I just thought…”

“If you’re going to play a comedy, then leave,” Lan Xichen said. “I’ve had enough of being lied to.”

Instantly, Nie Huaisang dropped his smile. “Then if I’m honest, will you let me in?”

Lan Xichen hesitated, which once more marked him as a fool to Nie Huaisang. A clever man would have realised nothing good could come of a conversation between them. A clever man would have wondered why Nie Huaisang had felt the need to come to that house in secret at night instead of requesting a meeting through more official channels.

Lan Xichen wasn’t a clever man. He stepped aside and gestured for Nie Huaisang to come inside that little house.

The place wasn’t anything impressive. Furniture was sparse even by Lan standards, though the bed did have a few more blankets than was usual, making it looking almost obscenely comfortable by contrast. There were also many books, some of which were currently being read if bookmarks were to be trusted. No musical instruments though, and no sign of Shuoyue either.

“I can try to make some tea if you’d like,” Lan Xichen offered, inviting Nie Huaisang to sit at his little table. That was where most of the books had been left, as well as writing implements. It appeared Lan Xichen had been taking notes on something, which he now had to put away. “I hope you will forgive me for the mess. I do not get a lot of visitors, and those I do get don’t usually come in.”

“And yet you make an exception for me,” Nie Huaisang replied with a smirk. “Er-ge, how kind of you. But don’t worry about the mess, we both know I’m worse than that.”

“Do I know that?” Lan Xichen sighed as he finished cleaning the table. “I once thought I knew you, I’m not so sure anymore. How much of everything was a lie, Huaisang?”

“Enough of it. But not all. It’s difficult to always lie. Even San-ge must have been honest sometimes, I suppose, though probably not with either of us.”

At the mention of the man he’d killed, Lan Xichen startled and gave Nie Huaisang a pleading look. Pain was a good look on him, Nie Huaisang decided, though he’d probably look even better panting in pleasure.

“I’m sorry, am I not supposed to talk about him?” Nie Huaisang asked with a smile. “But he’s been such a great part of both our lives, I can’t help it.”

“Huaisang, please…”

“You must miss him so much,” Nie Huaisang remarked. “He was your very dear friend, your confidant… though what sort of a confidant, I must now wonder. People have started throwing the word around about Wangji and Wuxian, did you know? So of course it got me thinking…”

“It wasn’t like that,” Lan Xichen objected, hands clenched into fists as he finally sat down opposite his unwanted guest, forgetting all about the tea he’d offered to make. “San-di and I were only…”

“Oh, so it’s San-di now. No more A-Yao?”

Lan Xichen glared. Nie Huaisang smirked.

“Why are you here, Huaisang?” Lan Xichen asked, sounding so tired and old that Nie Huaisang’s heart, if he’d had one, would have ached for him.

“Why do you think I’m here, Er-ge?”

Lan Xichen fell silent, his gaze falling to the table between them.

“I think you want to finish your revenge,” he said at last, meeting Nie Huaisang’s eyes again. “I think you blame me for your brother’s death. I suppose I understand your line of thinking. I gave San-di the means, I pushed for Da-ge to tolerate him much longer than he ever would have… How could you not blame me for what I’ve done?”

“He’d have done it without you,” Nie Huaisang retorted with some amusement. “And if you’d tried to oppose him in any way, he’d have started hating you just as fiercely as he hated Da-ge. He might even have killed you, and wouldn’t that have been a loss? No, believe it or not, I don’t blame you.”

“How low I must have fallen in your esteem, then, if I am not even worthy of blame.”

Without thinking, Nie Huaisang nodded. Lan Xichen was nothing but a pathetic idiot, unworthy of every advantage given to him, of the goodwill the entire world insisted on extending to him, and yet…

And yet Nie Huaisang couldn’t tear his eyes away, and found himself impossibly endeared by this fool of a man who dared to think he was important enough to deserve his hatred, when he was already unworthy of his love.

“Why are you here?” Lan Xichen insisted. “If it isn’t to torture me with guilt or to kill me…”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,” Nie Huaisang retorted. “A more interesting question, I think, is why did you let me in if you thought I might wish to kill you?”

Distress flashed across Lan Xichen’s perfect face. Nie Huaisang was still only getting used to causing fear in others, and usually enjoyed it. To his surprise, he found Lan Xichen’s terror less pleasant.

“I’ve… missed you,” Lan Xichen confessed, averting his eyes. “Even if there was a chance you had come with ill intentions, I’ve missed talking to you and it felt worth the risk.”

Something warm and sharp exploded inside Nie Huaisang’s chest, delicious and painful all at once. He’d never thought Lan Xichen more stupid than he did in that moment. He’d never been more delighted by that stupidity, either. After everything that had come to pass, after every lie, and deception, Lan Xichen could still miss him.

How pathetic.

How wonderful.

“Er-ge, I am starting to think you have a type,” Nie Huaisang teased, just barely resisting the impulse to reach for the other man’s hair and steal a forceful kiss from him. Just a moment more, just to see how low Lan Xichen might fall before being granted what they clearly both wanted. “I do suppose I have a lot in common with San-ge, hm?”

“I miss him too,” Lan Xichen agreed. It felt like a slap to the face. Nie Huaisang would have struck him, if he hadn’t already known he’d be the more hurt of the two. But before Nie Huaisang’s anger could fester, Lan Xichen continued. “I haven’t missed the two of you in the same way, though. I… was always more fond of you than I ought to have been. I used to think you felt the same. What a fool I was.”

“Indeed you are,” Nie Huaisang said, leaning over the table without thinking. He was glad, suddenly, that Lan Xichen hadn’t gotten around to making tea, because he suddenly decided that he intended to bend that man over the table and fuck him until he begged for mercy. 

Fools, after all, needed to be punished so they might learn better, and Nie Huaisang would be more than happy to dole out that punishment, to show Lan Xichen his true place in the world. And then, when Lan Xichen would be at his lowest, filthy and abused and beautiful, Nie Huaisang would show that he could be kind too, when the mood struck him. 

“Er-ge, my dear Er-ge… you certainly like being lied to, don’t you?” Nie Huaisang chuckled. “I suppose I could continue lying to you, if it’d make you feel better. Is that something you’d wish for? For sweet, stupid little Huaisang to fawn over you again and get stuttery every time he meets your eyes? I could do it again, quite easily.”

“Huaisang, don’t. I’m ashamed enough to have thought it was real.”

“I’ve told you earlier: it’s impossible to constantly lie, Er-ge. Some of it had to be real.”

Lan Xichen glared at him, eyes shining as if he might cry, hurt and furious at once. Nie Huaisang only smirked at him, and watched as the other man slowly processed what he’d said, and what the context for it had been. Lan Xichen’s glare softened into a frown which shifted into fear before settling on something fragile and hopeful.

It was amazing, Nie Huaisang thought, that any person with Lan Xichen’s life experience could still so easily trust others. He almost envied it. It must have been so easy to go through life like that, refusing to accept that people, as a whole, were nothing but a bunch of selfish assholes. It also made him furious that Lan Xichen had learned so little, that he was so determined to let himself be abused again by whoever his stupid little heart would settle on.

But Nie Huaisang would reward that stupidity well, and take full advantage of a trust he knew he didn’t deserve.

That beautiful imbecile was his now, Nie Huaisang thought as he finally grabbed Lan Xichen by the collar to pull him into a kiss, and what a beautiful reward it was for every crime Nie Huaisang had committed.

[runephoenix6769]

“What is with the Blake / Yang hate this week? Folks seem particularly fired up.” I asked this question on a forum because of something I’ve noticed the last few days on discussions about Blake and Yang/Bumbleby/shipping in general. I keep seeing the same answers.  “It ruins the team’s dynamic.”

Welp, I’m pretty certain none of those people would say that Raven/Tai and Tai/Summer ruined the team’s dynamic. Or that Ren and Nora are currently  ruining the team’s dynamic.  What is this holy than thou crusading to protect the sanctity of the team dynamic? Rwby has always been first and foremost about interpersonal relationships. It’s what drives the actual plot. Character growth, failing relationships/friendships. How they change over time, either to grow or crumble. 

“It’s being shoehorned in, for fanwank.” How? How is it being shoehorned in? Give me a narrative breakdown as to where/how/when this occurs? Compare it to the Sun/Blake narrative and show me the glaring differences between the Yang/Blake narrative to prove that bumbleby was never planned yet blacksun was?  (Sidenote. Anyone that has been asked to do this on the forum has yet to do it.)

“Yang showed interest in boys.”“ Yes, yes she passed comment once. In vol 1 episode 1. 8 VOLUMES AGO. She has shown not a lick of interest in guys since. Its almost as if she’s like any normal 17 year old girl who is growing into adulthood and figuring herself out, who might be realising her interest in Blake isn’t strictly platonic and is trying to navigate that whilst also grappling with what that means with regards to their friendship. And dealing with an over arching situation that is, ya know, potentially the end of the world as they know it.  It’s about two years in universe, right? Which is about right of an amount of time for what its happening between them to play out. It only feels like longer to the audience because, well, its taken 8/9 years to tell the story up until that point. 

“The Fans are too loud/vocal/come on too strong.” Ok, this one I agree with, we are loud and vocal and that might come across as coming on strong  (here’s a huge) BUT, there is actually a genuine explanation for why it seems that way.   If you really think about it, objectively. 

Hear me out.  Fans are excited about the potential representation we don't otherwise usually get in media. I mean, if you have 10,000 pieces of media and only ONE of them represents lgbtq people, of course we’re gonna be excited and talk about the ONE quite a bit with others who are like us. This might also be the first time we’ve seen anything like this, or seen ourselves represented in a somewhat positive light. It stands to reason that the other 9999 pieces aren't going to hold our attention as much, esp if its the same hetero romance played out a bajillion times before, right? I mean, if you have a group of people who are constantly represented in the 9999 other shows, their voices are going to spread thinner, right? They aren’t going to be gathered all on one place, talking about the same thing because there are 9999 other choices to connect them to other people. They aren’t going to care as much if their straight ship happens/doesnt happen 

“Hey, I can move onto another piece of media that is churned out by the status quo. No big deal.”

Hetero romances are ten a penny. Flick through netflix, hulu, crunchy roll etc.  Where as if you have a group of people who are only represented in ONE show out of the 10,000 those people are going to gather in one place to connect with others and its only going to seem like they are louder due to the densely packed space.  These same people have been majority silent about the other 9999 pieces of media as their voice isn't usually represented in a positive light - being queer characters are usually brutally murdered or sidelined. (Thankyou Hays Code.)- or not even represented at all. (Bury Your Gays is a trope for a reason, folks.) And we are NEVER the titular characters. We’ve been living on crumbs and subtext for decades! Not to mention showrunners who actively queerbait the hell out of us for ratings and viewership. The almighty Pink Pound as its often referred to in business. “But why do they have to make them gay?” You’re not made gay, you’re born gay. It just takes longer for some people to realise than others. It can be a gradual realisation. And this is quite possibly the case with Yang/Blake, slowly coming to realise their own burgeoning sexualities and attraction to each other.

”Why do they have to be gay?” They don't need a reason to be queer! They just are! Queerness is only a part of a person, not their everything. It’s actually quite refreshing to see Yang/Blake being portrayed as much more than their potential sexuality.  Ask yourself, ‘Why does a character have to be straight? And why doesn’t a straight character have to constantly reaffirm their sexuality? Why is ‘straightness’ assumed by default?’ Heteronormativity, is something that has been perpetuated by decades of media. (helped by the Hays Code with its out of date moral code. To be other is to be punished within the narrative.) That straight is the default setting. It’s not! We exist! Everywhere! We always have and we are going to talk to each other about it when we see a glimpse of ourselves represented in what has been a relative Sahara Desert when it comes to queer content were we are not villainised.   “The romance is detracting from the plot.” Two seconds ago, people were claiming that the romance was none existent. Which is it? But Nora and Ren’s romance that is being held up as a mirror to bumbleby is fine? That Jaune relentlessly pursuing Weiss was perfectly ok. Neptune openly hitting on female characters is fine. 

“I don’t have a problem with LGBT. I just don’t want it forced down my throat.” Again, out of 10,000 pieces of media, this is just ONE show. Nobody is forcing anyone to watch it or participate.  Queer people have had to stomach literal 100′s of years of straight media forced upon them. Since the very conception of the written word and narrative storytelling. In plays, theatre, art, music, tv, film, on billboards, advertising, in places of education and learning etc etc. Queer people are bombarded with it whilst also being surrounded by negativity towards queerness. 

“They are shoving it down my throat!” part two Is hand holding, compassion and expressing concern for another person and comforting them somehow offensive? Renora kissed, not a problem. Arkos kissed, not a problem. Show me in the sand where the line is drawn. What is the difference? Please explain this to me? Why is the expression of queerness somehow offensive? Is this because decades of media have perpetuated the false idea that all queer people are sex crazed perverts? That you’ve been groomed into thinking that queer sexuality is only based in the act of sex itself? That queer sexuality couldn’t possibly be similar to heterosexuality in its expression?

That it couldn’t possibly be about attraction, emotional, mental and maybe one day blossom into physical between two consenting adults, a pure expression of love the exact same as heterosexuality. 

That some how queer love stems from some sort of deviancy or mental health issue. That queer people are some how bad or evil, and therefore their expression of affection is wrong? Oh, I wonder where those beliefs have possibly stemmed from?  “Why are they in my face?” part three.  50% of of the titular cast are potentially queer. Blake and Yang. But if you look at the overall cast ensemble that runs at minimum 16 any given volume, that’s a measly 12.5% (prolly a lot smaller if you actually counted the whole cast that appears in rotation each volume) Also, someone did the math. Blake - a titular character- actually has less spoken lines that Jaune. ffs. B&Y spent neatly a whole two volumes of 8 apart. 25% of the narrative as it stands on entirely different continents. 

I fail to see how it being in someone’s face could be the case.

  “I just don't see it!”

That’s ok and perfectly valid But listen when people who have lived this experience are telling you that their experience is being portrayed on the screen. That they see themselves being represented.  OK, This completely got away from me. In conclusion. They are more straight people than queer people and media often reflects that.   We are usually the silent minority, we are sick of it but we are used to it and we are very excited that things seem to be finally changing.

It’s two characters in an large cast in ONE show out of 10,000. Its a piece of media that, for a change, hasn’t been 100% curated for straight people.  We are often not allowed to play in the sand box and if we are, we’re told to play with the broken toys, be grateful and quiet. So when we are given a sandbox to play in with new unbroken toys, we are gonna dog pile in there and make a ruckas, calling our friends over. What I’m trying to say is, it’s gonna get rowdy.  and here’s something to think about.  “When you are used to privilege, equality feels like deprivation.”  

[alecxaheart]

Falls At 4419 | Bang Chan Oneshot

✎ Genre : Strangers to Lovers AU, Fluff

✎ Pairings : Bang Chan X Reader

✎ Word Count : 2.1k words

✎ Synopsis : Who could've thought that your ride to love life starts at a bus stop.

✎ Requested.

You had the usual tiring daily routine for the rest of your life. Your weekday mornings start with your alarm clock greeting you "good morning" in the most annoying beeping way as possible. What a gentle reminder, too, to tell you that it's almost time for work.

" Work again? " you groaned at the thought, hands reaching out to the bedside table to turn off the alarm.  Once you did, you forced yourself out of the bed and start preparing for today.

You were completely exhausted due to the stack of work your boss gives you.

It's to the point that it made you sleep deprived, haggard or just messy in general. You don't even know if you ever managed to cover all of that, physically, with make-up. However, when it came to your words and actions, it's noticeable when one paid attention. It's a good thing that Ms. Han was blind to that, or else you'll be told that you're lacking and higher chances of you getting fired.

But aside from every negative thing about your occupation, so far your performances were praised by your co-workers. Salary has never been a problem, in fact, you've been paid higher than expected. Maybe it's from the plus being Ms. Han's pet-sitter — for the love of all things, it had to be a cat.

You're almost done preparing for work. With your feet taking a quick slip into your black heels, you're on your way out of the house. Clacking noises could be heard each time your heels meet the pavement.

As you were headed towards the bus stop, you felt something vibrating from your purse. Opening it, you found your phone ringing. The caller ID displays the name of your boss, Ms. Han. What could be the kind of good morning greeting I'll receive from her today?

You answered it and placed it to your right ear, immediately hearing your name. " Assistant (L/N) (Y/N)! " Ms. Han called out through the other line.

" Good morning to you too, Ms. Han. You have matters to discuss with me at this time? " You replied, stopping at your tracks as you've reached the bus stop. All you need to do now is wait for the bus and keep yourself together with whatever Ms. Han may throw at you.

" I'm assuming you've already done the project for today, " You hummed in response. There was sound of a slight slip from the other line, you assumed that Ms. Han was drinking tea. " Make sure to deliver that presentation well. After that, I want you to attend the board meeting this afternoon on my behalf. Send them my sincere apologies for I have other more important business matters. "

So much for being trustworthy..

" Noted, Ms. Han. " Your ride finally came. Once it opened it's doors, you hopped in and tapped your card at a machine.

" Also, fix this week's schedule. Cancel everything on Friday, " Ms. Han added. You ended up seating at the very end of the bus, beside the window. It just happened to be the only row of seats that's vacant.

" Got it, Ms. Han. Anything else? "

" Ah, right. After the board meeting, take care of Eliza, " Her cat – you should've seen that coming. " Don't worry about the ride to my house, my driver will be picking you up. " She continued, taking one more sip at her tea. The ride was never a problem, but her cat is. Nevertheless, you accepted it since you both needed the job and money.

It didn't took that long until the conversation finally ended. When she hung up, you deeply sighed and looked out of the window. Spring was almost over, the atmosphere started to get colder. The cherry blossom trees began to slowly wither, every petal that has fallen decorated the road and sidewalk. It was both exquisite yet melancholic. Could you ever compare yourself as a cherry blossom? To bloom all over again yet someday, you'll wither once again. Possibly.

As you were gazing outside, your eyes widened as you saw someone else's reflection who sat beside you. His airpods plugged in his ears as he bobbed his head to the beat. You never knew or felt that his presence is already there, not until right now.

He's the same guy you meet each day whenever you took this bus. To be honest, he's eye-catching ever since the first time you saw him. He had the usual black outfit. Curly brunette headed, tall nose, dazzling dark brown orbs, lips — Okay, let's stop fawning over him. In conclusion, he has very well defined facial features. It was obvious that he's one of God's masterpiece, many should've envied him with that.

Despite of him always being your seatmate when the seat next to yours is vacant, you both never conversed with one another. Even with him having an eye for you from the start, no one even dared to start one.

Although, maybe today's a bit different.

The bus abruptly stopped in its tracks as the stop light just switched to red. The driver groaned and scratched the back of his neck.

At the back of the bus, there's you who is silently staring at the window. Awfully close to the window. However, when the bus hit the brakes, your forehead bumped onto the glass. " Ouch! " You groaned in pain as you held your forehead, checking if it bled and to ease the pain. The curly brunette noticed this and paused the music he's playing on the phone. He shifted in his seat to face you, " Are you okay? ". Your eyes met his worrisome ones and it made your heart skip a beat. He's more dashing when he's this close to you. It also made you more timid towards him that you began to stutter, " I- I guess I'm okay.. ".

" Let me see, " He reached out to your hand that's covering your forehead. His hand accidentally touched the sore part in the process, causing you to wince in pain. He whispered an apology before carefully taking your hand off and scan your forehead. He sighed in relief, " Thankfully, it wasn't such a big impact but it did turn red. You can place ice or put an ointment on it as soon as you get off, ok? " You responded with small nod and smile, your heart melting at his kindness.

He carefully placed his hand on your head and light pushed it back, gesturing you to rest. You gladly complied and he smiled, showing his dimples. It was cute, you thought.

" Does it still hurt? " He asked.

" A bit but bearable, " You replied, closing your eyes.

" How about a small talk to distract you from the pain? "

" Sounds good to me. "

" My name's Chan, you? "

" The name's (Y/N). It's nice to finally know you, Chan. "

And that's how everything started to blossom, at the end of Spring.

After that day, you started to anticipate what's going to happen on the next days that you never complained about the annoying beeping clock at dawn ever again. Especially and specifically, on the bus. Your mornings now start with you enthusiastically getting up and preparing for work. Chan happened to bring more interest into your life.

You don't know what kind of sorcery Chan does to always know how to remove your stress or just to make your days better in general. However, you don't mind it. Instead, you're really thankful for it.

You blossomed more in Fall, like a cosmos flower. You bloomed while the rest withered.

You excelled so much at work. The company was at its rough times, yet you handled everything outstandingly that you were praised by the whole company. Even Chan was happy for you, which mattered to you most.

" I knew you were exceptional ever since the beginning, " He murmured while hugging you securely, smiling. You, too, smiled brightly and blushed at that.

It's not only you who blossomed this fall. Your love, too, bloomed in Fall.

You never knew that the potential crush you had for Chan back when he was just a seatmate at the bus would grow. You fell head over heels for his giggles, smiles, kindness, goofiness, just for him. It keeps getting stronger as more time passes that you couldn't control it anymore. This was a first ever since you started working. You never really paid attention to your love life since work was always in the way. You're foreign to this feeling, you're clueless on how to handle it.

This love is the most amazing feeling, you'd be honest. Yet you fear that you'll be rejected or wouldn't be loved back. Then love would be the worst feeling.

Although, your faith and hope will never be taken away from you until the day hasn't came yet, until there's a possibility. You'll keep hoping on his small gestures you'd like to think are hints. You'll put your love for him in the hands of faith. And with that, you became patient with him. Waiting for the time that the true feelings will start to unveil.

______________________________

찬의

Channie

Hey (Y/N)

Are you done with work?

Almost

Why do you ask?

I'll pick you up, ok?

I'm on my way there.

'That's first, yet weird.

But I don't mind.'

Alright, be careful

Seen 7:02PM

______________________________

A month has passed, you two grew closer than ever. Yet occassionally, there would be a hint of awkwardness between the two of you. One would act weirdly, stutter or get nervous around one another. You hoped that it wouldn't ruin your friendship. You valued this friendship more than anything else.

Heading towards the front doors of this company, you could see Chan's figure on the other side. Waiting for you to come out. Once you did, he turned to face you and greet you with a sweet smile. You smiled back. " Let's go? " He said as he offered you his hand. You nodded and timidly took it into yours. That's another first.

Both of you exchanged the usual conversation. Asking about each other's day, telling short stories, joking once in a while, then some comfortable silence here and there, it felt just right. It's already dark out, the city light and streetlights being the only source of light, while the moon is having the pitch black sky to itself. The streets aren't as busy as it was in the daylight. You could hear the rustling and crunching of autumn leaves as it was carried by the wind or getting stepped on.

The two of you eventually reached the bus stop, taking a seat as you wait for a bus. " Do you know the number that bus has? " Chan asked out of the blue, eyes boring on the street. You hummed in confusion, he chuckled. " The bus we always took, especially in the mornings. "

" Ohh.. To be honest, I'm completely unaware of that. " You answered, scratching the back of your neck. Once more, he chuckled then gazed at you while your attention was somewhere else. A bus was coming in your peripheral vision. Once it was in front of you, you scanned for it's number. At the very end, it's written..

" 4419, " You turned to Chan, only to find him staring at you with adoration. You two stayed like that for a few minutes. His eyes were so soft, looking ever so luminous and sparkling underneath the light. He took out a flower he plucked from earlier, placing it behind your ear. Not even tearing his eyes away from yours. " Beautiful, like a cosmos flower, " He whispered, but it was enough for you to hear it clearly. You've felt like you're continously falling, yet Chan still has his grip on you. The same grip when he first held your hand back when you've bumped your forehead on the bus. Loving, gentle yet firm. Telling that he's willing to fall with you. " I love you, (Y/N). "

With just those 4 words, you were filled with so much joy and shock. You froze on your seat. For a second you panicked on what's the right word to say, asking if an I love you too was enough or is it already too redundant.

Although you knew that Chan's anticipating an answer as the clock continues to tick, and waiting is dreadful. Chan will love and cherish anything you say to him. Just the thought of you being truly his will bring him genuine happiness, and that's enough. No need for further more explanations. Then you've came to the conclusion, that there's no other words that best describes your true feelings for him. Simple yet genuine, " I love you too, Chan. "

Now, a love fully blossomed at the end of Falls.

End.

[kyratittyfish]

Question time! So, I forgot Jane's bg - was she a spacer? Colonist? While playing ME today some npc said "Genetic enhancements that every soldier in the alliance recieves" while discussing gene therapy issues and that reminded me of your thoughts on the translation implants and hearing, and you being a bio engineer. Now I wonder: any headcanon that you have or come up with regarding your Shep? (1/2, another ask incoming that belongs to this)

The complete question, for reference:

Question time! So, I forgot Jane's bg - was she a spacer? Colonist? While playing ME today some npc said "Genetic enhancements that every soldier in the alliance receives” while discussing gene therapy issues and that reminded me of your thoughts on the translation implants and hearing, and you being a bioengineer. Now I wonder: any headcanon that you have or come up with regarding your Shep? I imagine Reda being earthborn and basically BORN into the Reds has never had any contact with genetic engineering and had all quoted "genetic enhancements" that most seem to get pre-birth or as a child barely before joining the Alliance. Which made her not necessarily pro all that stuff, because life wasn't crap before either, right? Now I wonder how the different backgrounds affect Shepard's opinions on genetic enhancements (and, of course, Project Lazarus).

Super interesting question!

My Shep is a spacer. Her family has been in the Alliance for generations, and this gave her parents access to top-tier genetic screenings and enhancements pre-birth. 

One important detail about her is related to her (second, but actually preferred) name, Angela. The other Angela she was named after was her father’s sister; unfortunately, she passed away in her late teens (before our Commander was even born) due to a genetic illness. The screening procedures and corrections for her specific disease weren’t available yet when Shepard’s late aunt was born, so her disease wasn’t discovered until after her birth. Her untimely death had a profound impact on Mark Shepard (Jane’s father): seeing his sister struggle for all her life with such a cruel illness until she eventually succumbed to it made him determined to do anything in his power to prevent his daughter from going through something similar. 

The genetic modifications Jane was given in utero were mostly related to disease prevention. After enlisting, she received the standard military enhancements for improved strength, reflexes, and healing capabilities. As one can imagine, Cerberus gave her some genetic modification during the Lazarus Project as well. 

Now, on to Shepard’s opinion on all of this. 

For years, young Jane didn’t think too much about it. She was given genetic modifications before she was even born, and most of her family and friends had enhancements as well, so she considered it something almost natural. 

As a teen, after getting to know more about her late aunt, she developed an interest in the topic of genetic engineering: for a while, she even entertained the idea of studying to become a geneticist, and while still in school she took a few courses on genomics and genetic engineering. Enlisting and getting to know more people from various socioeconomic backgrounds gave her a practical frame of reference to compare to her scientific knowledge: many enlistees didn’t have any genetic modifications done, and the standard military ones were their first. 

In general, she sees genetic modification as an enormous scientific breakthrough that can offer extraordinary benefits. On the other hand, she’s well aware of the privileges it brings: people born into families of lower socioeconomic status (like Jeff) can often only get the basic gene mod package to prevent the most common genetic disorders, while children born into rich families usually get way more expensive modifications that give them an edge on several fields (health, athletic performances, intelligence, looks…), further increasing the gap between classes.

After the war (she survives it), and after the bulk of the reconstruction is done, she starts a campaign to enable people of lower socioeconomic status to access a wider array of genetic testing and modifications, hoping to provide more and more people with the same privileges that were basically only available to the rich before the war. 

[thetrashsean]

“Why wasn’t Life is Strange 2 as popular as the first game?”

A lot of people like myself have wondered what exactly made Life is Strange 2 go so relatively unnoticed compared its predecessor, Life is Strange 1. And when you think about it, you may come up with the few obvious generic answers, such as the lack of Max and Chloe and just the original cast in general. However, I think there was a lot more at play here that prevented Life is Strange 2 from reaching the amount of success/popularity the first game had. So I want to take the time and break down what exactly happened to Life is Strange 2 and the things that hurt the game’s ability to really connect with the audience of LiS1.

Disclaimer: We do NOT know how well Life is Strange 2 was for Dontnod and if it was a success or not. No sales numbers have been given out to the public so there’s no way of knowing for sure how well the game did. What we do know is that LiS2 did not receive the same amount of attention/popularity as the first game. That can’t be denied, it simply didn’t. However, based on the fact that Dontnod have recently announced they are working on six new games at the moment and are now expanding their studio, even if LiS2 was a “flop” it doesn’t seem to have had much of an effect on them (most likely due to the success of Vampyr). Dontnod is going to be fine either way. Another thing I want to mention is that this is not a anti-LiS2 post and that I am a fan of the game. I’d consider myself a pretty big fan actually. I have my problems with the game of course and don’t agree with a lot of the writing decisions but I enjoyed the game very much overall. But for the sake of this post I will try to be as unbiased as possible, giving out only what I’ve observed when it comes to reactions from the fandom on different websites and forums. So with that all being said, let’s dive in to this.

Here I will be listing the many different reasons as to why Life is Strange 2 failed to reach the same amount of popularity as LiS1 or even BtS managed to achieve. This list isn’t in any particular order but some reasons are bigger/more important than others.

For some background, there was a lot of hype going into Life is Strange 2. The teaser trailer for it with the cop car trended at #2 on YouTube, a huge feat for the series. It generated immense amount of views and comments in a short period in time, completely surpassing Before the Storm’s announcement trailer in just a few weeks. So what exactly happened to all that hype? Where did everybody go? Well, let’s break everything down.

1. The lack of Max and Chloe: Yes I said that this list wouldn’t be in any particular order in terms of importance but I think it’s obvious this one is one of, if not the biggest reason as to why LiS2 failed to match LiS1’s popularity. When the protagonists Sean and Daniel were first revealed, the reception was pretty divisive. Specifically, a very vocal part of the community were baffled and disappointed at the lack of Max and Chloe present within the trailer and subsequently the game itself. This instantly turned off a lot of people from the game, as they couldn’t connect with the new characters or simply didn’t want to. At that point in the franchise Max and Chloe as well as the original cast from the first game had been the face of the series for almost three years. It’s understandable why it was hard for people to just…move on. To this day people are still asking for Max and Chloe to return. The Life is Strange subreddit is still dominated with Max and Chloe fanart. Whenever the social media accounts for Life is Strange post anything Max and Chloe related it gets way more attention compared to a post about Sean and Daniel. Whenever a post online goes viral about Life is Strange you can bet it’s most likely about Max and Chloe. Hell the only reason why episode 5 of Life is Strange 2 trended on Tumblr was because of the fucking picture of Max and Chloe. On the releas day of episode 5 of LiS2 the top post on the subreddit was the Max and Chloe picture. It was almost as if that one photo of them completely overshadowed the entire episode. Point is, Life is Strange 2 lost a lot of momentum the moment it was revealed Max and Chloe would not be present. Case closed, let’s move on.

2. The release schedule: Words cannot describe how frustrating the release schedule was for LiS2 when it came to it’s episodes. For those reading this who didn’t follow LiS2 until the game was finished, each episode took around 3-4 months to be released. This was because Dontnod bit off a bit more than they could chew with the road trip story in having to create new locations and character models from scratch. The reason why this wasn’t a problem for LiS1 was because Max was for the most part always in the same locations around the same characters (I’m pretty sure you roam around Chloe’s house like 4 times throughout the season), which made development a lot easier since the devs could just reuse a lot of the assets. Unfortunately, this wasn’t possible for LiS2 due to the nature of it’s story. The wait times between each episode made a lot of people leave the fandom due to loosing interest or simply forgetting about the game altogether. This also impacted youtubers/streamers as many of them either stopped coming back to play the new episodes or they’d not be as connected as they were in the previous episode due to the amount of time that had passed. One of the reasons why LiS1 gained so much popularity was because of youtubers/streamers and how they would bring in their audience and would pretty much make them fans of the series. With quite a handful of youtubers/streamers quitting LiS2, the game was not able to draw in as much of an audience as previous games did. This is how detreminetal the release schedule was for LiS2.

3. The marketing (or lack thereof): Square Enix really fucked up on this aspect. Due to the ridiculous wait times you would think Square Enix would try and advertise the game heavily when a new episode was about to be released, right? Well they didn’t. Not at all actually. Throughout the games release schedule from September 2018 up to December 2019, I had not seen a single ad for the game. Nothing on YouTube, nothing on reddit or any other websites, it was like Square Enix had completely forgotten about the game’s existence. Now don’t get me wrong, SE did do a few things with LiS2 like starting up the community series on their YouTube channel and also the dev updates that came after episode 1 (that stopped after episode 2 for some reason) but these went relatively unnoticed to people outside of the fandom and did pretty much nothing. I believe SE was trying to wait until the game was fully complete with all of it’s episodes released before actually marketing the game (and they DID start advertising the game after episode 5 came out) but that’s just WAAAY too long to go without any type of advertisement. I understand marketing teams have budgets and what not, but you’re telling me there was no way for SE to market each episode in anyway as they were about to be released? Seems a bit ridiculous, don’t you think?

4. The road trip story: I completely understand why Dontnod wanted to branch out and do something different with the story of Life is Strange 2 and I respect them for stepping out of their comfort zones. However, it can’t be denied that the road trip story where characters are cycled in and out as Sean and Daniel make their way to Mexico was a very…questionable decision. Seeing as how LiS1 was loved for it’s world filled with a reoccurring cast of characters that developed as the story went on, it’s really easy to understand why LiS2 was so off-putting for a lot of fans. It was off-putting for me, even. It just…wasn’t fun having to leave these truly interesting characters behind because the plot demanded it. This left a lot of characters feeling underdeveloped to many people and by the time you meet new characters you already know they’re most likely gonna be gone soon anyways, so it made it even harder to connect with them. Couple this with the fact that LiS2 lacked any type of mystery unlike LiS1, speculation and discussion fizzled out a few weeks after each episode was released. LiS1 kept people speculating and wondering about what would happen next, while LiS2 left a lot of people struggling to care.

5. Politics: Yeeeeaaaaah I think I had to put this somewhere on the list. While many of the people who tease and mock how LiS2 handled its political topics were most likely not fans of the series anyway (the type of people who called LiS1 “Life is Tumblr” and hate Chloe), I do think it’s important to realize that some people just don’t want politics in their games, period. I’ve seen people online come out and say that while they agreed with what the writers were saying when it came to the political topics, it overall still came off very forced and one-sided to them, lacking any type of nuance or subtlety. I could write an entire essay discussing if the politics in LiS2 were handled well and whatnot but this is not that post so I’ll just leave it at that.

6: Lack of a prominent female cast/wlw: This is a bit more tricky to talk about (for the record the person writing this is a black gay guy) but I will try and write about this the best way I can. For many women, specifically queer women, Life is Strange was a series they could expect representation from. Max, Chloe, Rachel, and Steph are all popular characters amongst the fandom and even other wlw ships such as Marshfield, Chasefield, Chaseprice, etc are popular. So when LiS2 was revealed to be about two (hispanic) males, the queer women within the community were understandably upset. It felt like DN were simply throwing away the community that for the most part made up the entire fandom. At the time I simply found the situation ridiculous and overblown as many people were dismissing Sean and Daniel as “generic straight males” (even though it turned out Sean was bisexual in the end) before really getting to know them. However, looking back I totally get why people were upset. A lot of the fanart/fanfiction that was made for the LiS series was mostly created by queer women, so when the franchise pretty much stopped giving them representation, they left in search of other media (like She-Ra, which honestly has better wlw rep anyway). LiS2 is also mostly male dominated in terms of its cast, and features no queer women as well, which is really disappointing in my opinion.

7. Price: This one is pretty simple. When Life is Strange 2 was first released the full season costed $40. This was a pretty big jump in comparison to LiS1’s $20 price tag (original price was $25 however) and BtS’s $16. Obviously people would be more skeptical about buying a sequel that is pretty much double the price of its predecessor and has completely new characters. With the pretty mixed reception from gaming communities I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people saw the price and decided to either watch a playthrough or simply not check out the game at all. With the first episode now free the base price has been lowered to around $30-32 I believe so yeah.

8. Daniel Diaz: Some people just don’t like kids, and I wouldn’t be surprised if people grew easily frustrated with Daniel early on and once he got more irrational and bratty as the story progressed they just stopped playing altogether. Even if you do like kids, or at least don’t mind them like myself, Daniel can still be quite a pain.

9. Not having control of the powers: This one is honestly really disappointing and I know it was to a lot of other people as well. In LiS1 Max had the ability to rewind time and do certain scenarios and conversations over and that basically acted as the more interesting gameplay segments. In LiS2 Sean doesn’t have the power, his brother Daniel does. This leads to the gameplay feeling much more boring and mundane. There are also no interesting puzzles this time around, most likely because Dontnod didn’t know how to implement them without the rewind power so they just…didn’t even attempt to add any. The power itself, telekinesis, is also much less interesting compared to rewinding time, according to a lot of people.

SO YEAH that’s basically it for me. I know this probably came off a bit rambly/incoherent but I tried my best to be as clear as I possibly could. I don’t doubt there are other reasons at play as to why LiS2 failed to meet LiS1’s success (such as liscensed music not being quite as good as LiS1) but I think I hit the main points I believe were key reasons. And the thing is, there isn’t just one main reason why LiS2 didn’t do as well as LiS1. It’s overall very unfortunate so many things went wrong with it that ended up making people lose interest in it. I think the lack of Max and Chloe hurt the game the most right off the bat, but the other reasons just led it to do even worse. Oh well.

I hope any of the people who read this enjoyed it (it was a BITCH to write). I’ve been wanting to get my thoughts down about this for SO long but just never had the motivation/time but I finally did it!

Again, thanks for reading! If you have any disagreements or just thoughts in general don’t be afraid to reply or dm me about it and I’ll be sure to reply! Now back to reblogging Marco posts….

[oikawaplssteponme]

𝐀𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐥𝐬 𝐋𝐢𝐤𝐞 𝐘𝐨𝐮

pairing: Dabi x fem! reader, Hawks x fem! reader

warnings: 16+, suggestive comments, mentions of bruises/injuries, manga spoilers (about Dabi’s identity), swearing, mentions of daggers/knifes, mentions of death but none present, runaway kids

word count: ~2k words

genre: fluff/angst/crack (?)

synopsis: You’re stuck between two worlds; one good, one evil. Not to mention this unfortunate love triangle that you’ve found yourself in. Do you stick with what you’ve always known or risk it all for him?

a/n: hello !! ahh this is the first part of a little something i’ve been working on. i might make this a mini series so please let me know what you think!! reblogs are greatly appreciated! <3 enjoy xx

one: the beginning of the end

You remember the day you met him, as if it were yesterday. The memory was forever engraved in your brain and how so much has changed since then.

You were sitting in a dark alley, your back pressed against the side of a building. The boy with bright red hair and bruises covering his entire body approached you. He looked about your same age, so you didn’t think much of him.

“Do you have any food?” he asked you. You scoffed.

“If I did I would be eating it, and I wouldn’t share it with you.”

The boy crossed his arms. They were all bandaged up.

“That’s pretty selfish of you.”

“I guess I’m a selfish person.”

You brought your knees to your chest, trying to stay warm despite the holes in your clothing.

“Why are you all alone?” he asked. You sighed.

“Ran away. You?”

“Same here. My parents think I’m dead.”

“Lucky. Mine are looking for me,” you mumbled. He tilted his head.

“Then why did you leave?”

“Why do you care?”

“Just wondering,” he said. You stood up, facing him.

“I figured that if I stayed I would’ve winded up dead.”

“I guess we do have a lot in common.”

You pointed to his bandages.

“Get that from your quirk?” He shrugged.

“No, my dad did it. He’s a bastard.”

“Do you have a quirk?”

“Yeah, it’s a fire quirk. My family called it ‘cremation’.”

“That's morbid.” He chuckled.

“Do you have a quirk?”

“Yeah.”

“Well what is it?” he asked eagerly. You sighed, turning around.

“Woah you have wings? That’s so cool!”

“They’re still growing but they’re gonna be big and strong one day,” you insisted. The boy examined your wings, admiring them.

“We could be a cool team, you know? My fire, your wings, we’d be unstoppable,” he smiled. You raised a brow.

“A team? You’re a stranger.”

“Not like either of us have anyone else. We could use each other.”

“I don’t need anybody,” you huffed. The boy sighed.

“Come on, it could be fun working together.”

“You want to be a hero or something?”

“Not anymore. Heroes are jerks, just like my dad. I want to be better than a hero.”

Better than a hero? For the longest time you didn’t understand what he meant. After all, heroes were supposed to be the peak of society. So who was better?

“I need to know your name if we are gonna be a team,” you said. The boy looked to the floor.

“I’m thinking about changing mine...start fresh, you know?” he whispered. You nodded.

“Okay, what can I call you until then?”

“Touya, but only when we are alone. I need people to keep thinking I’m dead.” You chuckled.

“You really are morbid, but alright. I’ll just go by Y/N.”

“Okay Y/N. We are gonna be a great team one day.”

~

You were there for him when his hair changed from red to white. You were there to be his ‘getaway flight’ when he stole his first box of black hair dye. He was there for you when you were freezing at night, lighting a soft flame to keep you warm. He was there for you when you had growing pains from your wings, as the feathers stretched out and began to develop into daggers. The two of you were always there for each other.

You were there for him when he decided to start going by Dabi. You never called him Touya again. The two of you grew up together, sharing secrets about your past lives and deciding how to live your future. He was right, you two certainly made a good team.

It started as petty crimes. Stealing food and clothes just to get by. The more you got away with it all, the easier it got. Before you knew it, you were ridiculing the entire hero society. Dabi’s harsh criticism ran through your mind constantly, and you couldn’t help but see where he was coming from.

In your teenage years, your quirk developed to its highest potential. You were a sight for sore eyes.

“Test it out!” insisted Dabi. You took a deep breath and stared at the makeshift target before you.

“Back up.”

You shot your wings out. They were much bigger than you, almost swallowing you whole. You concentrated at the target, aiming for the bullseye.

“Okay…let’s see…”

You spread out your feathers, thinking of the one right at the top. It was white compared to the rest that were black. You had about twenty white feathers in comparison to the abundance of black ones. You looked at the bullseye again, and shot your feather straight at it. It’s poison started to bleed through the fabric. You looked at Dabi, smiling.

“I did it!” You cheered. Dabi smiled, giving you a high five.

“That’s sick.”

From the surface, your wings would look like any other feathers. However, the quills were replaced by daggers. Sharp knives hidden by soft feathers all made up your large wings. The few white feathers you had, contained a poison strong enough to kill someone instantly.

“We are gonna be unstoppable,” said Dabi. You smirked.

“Damn right.”

~

As years passed and heroes became more and more powerful, you and Dabi knew you had to do something in order to feel less helpless. You had heard of this underground league for people like you. As much as Dabi wanted things to be just the two of you, the both of you decided it might be worth a shot.

The room was dark and dingy and it reeked of alcohol. You and Dabi stood in the corner of the room, with another girl. A group of interesting people stood before you. You looked up at Dabi.

“These guys look like they haven’t touched grass in years.”

“Names?” asked one of them. You gave Dabi a nudge, insisting that he goes first.

“I’m going by Dabi.”

“Uh Y/N.”

“Himiko Toga!”

“Quirks?” asked someone else.

“Cremation.”

“Dead Wings”

“Transform!”

One of the group stepped towards you. He was tall and lengthy, bare hands covered him. It was an unusual sight to say the least.

“You don’t look like you have wings,” he said.

“And you don’t look like you’ve ever heard of lotion.” Dabi sneered. The guy found it less amusing. You sighed.

“I can change their size. It would get pretty annoying if I had these monstrous feathers on my back all the time,” you explained.

“Show me how it works. There’s already a hero with wings, what makes you better?”

You looked at Dabi, smirking.

“Alright.”

You took a few steps forward and expanded your wings.

“WOW THOSE ARE COOL-I’ve seen better.”

“You see, compared to the number three hero, my feathers actually have sharp daggers on them instead of regular-old quills. I can still control them wherever I please, but if I happen to hit you with one of my white feathers, you’ll be dead within seconds due to the poison they contain,” you explained, “can I have a volunteer?”

“Use your buddy over there.”

You turned around. Dabi groaned. He moved to be pressed up against the wall.

“I swear if you actually hit me-”

“Quiet staples.”

You lifted your pointer finger, causing your feathers to spread. You then pointed at Dabi, causing a group of them to shoot at him. Lucky for him they outlined him instead of striking him.

“Thank god…”

You moved to stand with Dabi again. The rest of the group mumbled among themselves.

“Alright, clearly you all could be valuable assets to the League. I guess we can keep you around.”

“Can we know your names now or are you just gonna keep playing the ominous card?” groaned Dabi.

“Tomura Shigaraki. This is Twice, Spinner, Mange, Mr. Compress, and Kurogiri. Welcome to the League of Villains.”

You smiled, giving Dabi a nudge.

“Sick.”

That was the beginning of the end for you and Dabi.

~

As much as you and Dabi hated to admit it, the L.O.V. soon became the family you never had. You got close with Toga, even sharing a room with her despite Dabi’s protest. Shigaraki still got on your nerves, but you played nice. Everyone was kind, even with their reputation. Of course there was Dabi, your other half. The day you found each other was really the best day of your life. You cared for each other. You grew up together. You loved each other.

It was an unspoken understanding between you and him. You never would say it outloud, but after being with him for so long, you couldn’t imagine life without him. Dabi loved you. He really loved you, a feeling he thought he was incapable of having. Still, these words remained unspoken.

Shigarki had called you all for a meeting. You groaned, walking to the main room with Dabi. Everyone was seated at a table waiting for you.

“Woah is this an intervention or some shit?” you chuckled.

“Take a seat.”

You did as you were told, sitting beside Dabi.

“So after a few discussions, we have decided that-”

“I said no,” interrupted Dabi. You looked at him.

“No to what? Did you all have a meeting without me?”

“Well we were talking about you so it would’ve been a little silly to have you there,” laughed Toga. Your eyes widened.

“You jackasses are talking about me behind my back!?” You stood up from your seat. Tomura sighed.

“Don’t get your feathers in a twist Y/N, it was all good things.”

“I already told you all that the answer is no,” said Dabi sternly.

“Huh?”

“We have a mission for you Y/N.”

Your eyes lit up. Dabi groaned, standing up from his seat.

“WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT-”

“You all are finally letting me go on a mission?!”

Since you joined the L.O.V. you always worked behind the scenes. Everyone always insisted that it was because they could handle it without you, and that they would save you for the bigger missions. In reality, someone just wanted to protect you.

“No we aren’t,” huffed Dabi.

“You’re outnumbered staples. She’s going on the mission,” said Spinner. You couldn’t stop smiling.

“Okay so what is it? I can handle it, I swear!”

“Why can’t Toga do it?” questioned Dabi.

“None of us can do it besides Y/N. There’s a reason she hasn’t been on the front line for any missions and why we kept her hidden until now. If we send anyone else but her in there, they’ll recognize us,” explained Shigaraki. You raised a brow.

“Wait am I going undercover or something?”

“So is no one gonna listen to me? Great…”

“Just tell me please?” You whined. Shigaraki sighed.

“So your mission is to go undercover and infiltrate the Hawks Hero Agency. Hawks recently put out that he is looking for a new assistant, so you’ll be applying for the job. Once you have it, we need you to gain as much information as possible. Do whatever it takes to gain his trust. Hawks has a big mouth, and as his assistant he’ll tell you things that he probably shouldn’t. If all goes as planned, we will eventually take over the agency, capturing both him and hopefully Endeavor as well. Got it?”

You tried to process all the information that was being thrown at you. Dabi looked furious.

“This is just a bad idea-”

“I’ll do it.”

“Perfect! It’s settled then!” smiled Toga.

“No it’s not. You’re gonna send Y/N undercover as the number two hero’s assistant and expect her to do whatever it takes to get information?”

“Yes that’s exactly what we are going to do.”

“That is a porno waiting to happen!” huffed Dabi. You chuckled.

“I’ll be careful I promise. Nothing is gonna happen.”

“Mange picked you up some clothes and we made your resume. You interview tomorrow morning.”

“Tomorrow? What happens if I don’t get the job?” You asked.

“We took care of the other applicants,” smirked Toga. You nodded.

“Fuck this…” Dabi stormed out of the room, his hands in his pockets. You sighed.

“I’ll deal with him later, but I swear I can do this. I won’t let you all down.”

The rest of the league looked at you.

“We know you won’t.”

[MHA taglist: @bibly @big-phat-cat @sapphoscolonoscopy @luluwiie @happyheartsss @lealofsblog @iwaisa @bakugousmymassa @evivn1 @bokutory @vangoghmusings @moonlightaangel @misszenin @marajillana @sopesmin @alaina-rose13 @shotoful @runrabbitrun3 @katlingclaw @nerdypuppytimemachine ]

[oh-boy-me]

Okay I see your armadillo and I raise you MC convincing Diavolo to go on a field trip to Australia to see all the animals. Whatever happens the emu win.

Hey anon I swear I didn’t mean for this to get so long but I started writing it and then just didn’t stop, thank you for making me think about this.

It took about half a semester of begging for Diavolo to agree to organize a field trip to the Human World.

Scrap that, it took about half a semester of begging for Lucifer to bring up the idea with Diavolo.  Diavolo agreed immediately.  He discussed it further with MC, and they settled on a trip to Australia.  The continent was different from anywhere else in the world due to its geographic isolation.  There was a good chance that it would be a learning experience for even the oldest among them.

In truth, Diavolo just wanted to see a kangaroo.

The group had a moment to rest and plan their trip as they waited for Barbatos to return from Brisbane (Asmo was not going to camp, thank you very much, do you know how dry the air is here?  And the dust?  Lucifer wasn’t complaining about his insistence on a B&B.)

Lucifer went over, for the seventh time that hour, his mental list of every common dangerous animal on the island.  There were so many.  Too many.  The sheer number of creatures that had a “toxic” or “aggressive” warning was enough to give him a migraine.  MC did their best to assure him that as long as they were careful, everything would be fine, but.  “Look at our group, MC,” he broadly gestured around them, “and tell me that they’ll be careful.”

While Lucifer was fretting over his brothers, Satan was the one doing the actual damage control.  No, Mammon, there isn’t gold “right below our feet.”  Beel, there better be nothing more than processed foods in that bag of yours—I read that bringing fruits into the country is illegal.  Levi, you’ll have wifi at the hotel, stop complaining for one minute.

He was probably the most excited about the trip next to Diavolo, but he played it cool.

Asmo and Belphie were being relatively well-behaved, listening to Solomon’s tales of his adolescent years in Sydney.  Satan thought he said he grew up in Damascus.  Mammon was told Vancouver.  Solomon only hummed when questioned.

Just as Lucifer was about to suggest they just go home because hey Diavolo did you know that not only are the snakes here incredibly venomous, but my brothers are also idiots, Barbatos returned, and they got to the items on Diavolo’s agenda.

The only item on the agenda was “see cool animals,” but nobody needed to know that.

Barbatos knew.  He made a backup plan just in case.

Lucky for them, Simeon’s mere presence seemed to calm the animals enough that they didn’t run away when stumbled upon, so they saw a whole bunch.  How does he do it?  At one point they aggroed a rather large spider, and he just smiled at it and it stood down and wandered off.  What sort of godly power is this?

Overhead, some koalas slumber.  Mammon is quickly overwhelmed by how cute they are and wonders if human world stuffed toys could become a whole line.  MC feels phantom pain in their hands when he glances at them with a grin.

MC explains that koalas only eat one type of leaf.  Beel reaches up and shoves a handful in his mouth.  They taste very clean, he declares, but he couldn’t imagine only eating this for every meal.  Solomon adds that eucalyptus leaves are toxic to humans.  Lucifer has his first heart attack of the day.

“Eeek, a scorpion!”  “Asmo you’re a scorpion.”

Asmo isn’t enjoying this very much at all.  His feet hurt from standing, there’s dust all over his designer jeans, and he can feel the sun burning his shoulders.  The animals look nice and all, but he’s more interested in getting Solomon and MC to go clubbing with him that night than in the present moment.

Levi wasn’t paying any attention to the trip, until he heard Simeon say, “oh goodness, hello there little echidna.”  Then he’s the most alert of them all.  “YOU MEAN LIKE KNUCKLES?!”  Oh, there’s a spirit in Mononoke Land based on Koalas!  It’s from the Yorana region which is Gen 7 so it’s not in the app yet, he wouldn’t expect MC to know about that.

Lucifer distracts himself from his constant sense of dread by comparing Luke to the dingoes they stumbled upon.  Luke’s complaints are almost loud enough to nullify Simeon’s calming presence.  He clings to MC, as if they can protect him from Lucifer’s words, and Mammon clings to MC’s other side in protest.

Belphie has so far fallen asleep on seven rocks that snakes were hiding under.  The snakes always go out to investigate him, and Lucifer always adds another heart attack to the list.  Solomon says that one of the snakes was a “common death adder,” and Lucifer was just barely visibly distressed.  Belphegor is now falling asleep on rocks on purpose, because the combination of Solomon’s fake snake names and Lucifer’s minute squirming is too good to pass up on.

Satan somehow simultaneously knows all sorts of information on the wildlife and is fully overtaken with childlike wonder.  Yes, he saw kangaroos and koalas and the like in pictures, but in real life they look so unique and cute and he wants to pet everything, he wants to give them cuddles they are baby!!!

Speaking of kangaroos, Diavolo is aggressively pointing in the direction of what looks like it could be one.  “Look at it!” he exclaims.  “It’s so little and fuzzy!  Lucifer, Barbatos, look, look!  Do you think it has a baby in its pouch?”

“If it does, then we best not disturb it, My Lord.”  Barbatos has steered Diavolo away from about fifty poor animals so far.  It’s far more entertaining than his usual tasks of steering Diavolo away from things in the Devildom, so he’s actually quite satisfied with how the day has gone so far.  If eucalyptus is toxic to humans but not demons, he’s thought of several recipes he could try out already.  If it’s toxic to demons too, well, there are still uses for it.

Solomon eyes the pouched creature and chuckles a bit, which leaves everyone but Diavolo and Levi on edge for the next two hours.

The rest of the day progresses in a similar manner and with no serious issues.  After asserting that everyone is rather tired from the day’s adventure and in no mood to go clubbing, Asmo, they split up into their rooms for the night.

That isn’t to say that Asmo has given up on clubbing, though.  Even if he has to sneak out and go all by himself, he’s in the mood to get a taste of Australian nightlife.  So, after what he assumes is enough time for everyone to fall asleep, he makes his way to the sliding door in the back.

Everyone is awoken by a scream coming from the kitchen.

Mammon sprints over to see why Asmo is screaming, only to scream as well.  Luke screams.  Diavolo screams.  Lucifer has a sixteenth heart attack.  This continues for a while.  “What is THAT?!” Asmo points out the door at the creature with one clawed hand against the glass.

“Oh, it’s a kangaroo,” Solomon says matter-of-factly.  Yes, it turns out that what Diavolo had thought was a kangaroo was actually a wallaby.  Diavolo was thrilled to see a real kangaroo.  It was so much better than he had imagined, and so much better than the wallaby.

“That’s not a kangaroo!” Asmodeus wails.  “It’s got abs and a chiseled jawline!  It looks like it could bench press me; that thing’s some sort of mutated man!”  Beel leads Asmo away and back to bed.  Asmo swears to never go outside ever again and insists on sleeping in Beel and Belphie’s room–at least those are abs that he’s familiar with.

Not one to forget that this was technically a school field trip, Lucifer assigns everyone a simple research project as a reflection after they return to the Devildom.  Belphie is a little horrified to learn that the “common death adder” is in fact a real snake.

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