#but I’m also like. in a bad place physically and idk how I’m going to get back to work fast enough to

[ringneckedpheasant]

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[makethatelevenrings]

Torture and Trust // S. Riley x f!reader

warnings: waterboarding, reader is physically hit and tortured, reader is threatened with sexual assault in one (1) line, canon-typical violence, swearing

A part two to this but also doesn't need to be read before this. I'm kind of making a little universe in my head but idk. We vibin'.

It was the shock of cold water smashing against your face that woke you up. To be honest, you weren’t really asleep. You had been drifting between the space between consciousness and sleep, lured there from a few nasty hits to the head and exhaustion.

It was supposed to be a simple recon mission before the rest of the team came in to aid the retrieval of an asset. It was a warehouse tucked away in the streets of Tokyo that was apparently the hub of a human trafficking ring. MI5 had tasked the military to dispatch a SpecOps team since British citizens were targeted, something that had you grumbling under your breath because it shouldn’t take someone’s fucking citizenship to determine if they needed help. Explosives would be a bad idea considering how metropolitan the area was, even if it wasn’t very busy in this area. So you and Lieutenant Riley were tasked with figuring out a solid entry point and a tally of guards.

Simon had agreed to split up so he could canvass the west side of the building and see how many guards were stationed while you took the east side. It just so happened that the second-in-command to shithead in charge himself spotted the flash of your rifle scope and the next thing you know, you were strapped to a chair in the middle of the warehouse.

Your chest heaved as you caught your breath and you let out a small laugh as you regarded the two men in front of you. Being in the SAS, you were no secret to torture. Everyone knew that one step of the training was to go through seventy-two hours of pure hell and sleep deprivation to see who broke and who didn’t. This was child’s play compared to that.

“Your swing is getting better,” you said through bloodied teeth. “But that follow through is what we need to work on.”

A hand fisted in the back of your head and shoved your forward, directly into the trough of water they had placed in front of you. Waterboarding was always an interesting exercise. You knew it was coming and had inhaled sharply, focusing your attention on anything but the air slowly leaking from your lungs as he held you in there for maybe a minute. Your thoughts drifted to other things, like the ramen you and Simon split in the safehouse the night before. It had been a few months since he grew comfortable enough with taking the mask off in front of you so now you savored the few moments you saw of his face. He seemed almost tentative without his mask, as though he was aware of how beastly his scars made him look.

You pondered over if he knew just how beautiful he was.

They yanked you back out of the water and you didn’t know what time it was. It was certainly darker than it had been when you were first nabbed from your lookout point. Certainly long enough that Simon was aware of your predicament. So that meant you were running out of time. Two in front of you, three guards behind. Your hands strained against the rope and duct tape mixture that bound your wrists and ankles to the sides of the chairs.

“Who do you work for?” the boss hissed. You blinked up at him innocently through the water that clung to your lashes and shrugged.

“Can’t a girl just chill around here? God forbid women do anything.” You braced yourself for a hit that never came. Instead, he grabbed your jaw and squeezed, forcing your teeth to clack together with a sharp jolt and a bite to your tongue, adding more blood to mix with the cuts already present from the lackluster punches delivered earlier.

“Not with that level of weaponry. Try again.”

“You got me. I’m one of Santa’s elves and he wanted to make sure you were being a good boy this year. I’d hate to let him know that-” Your words were cut off as you were shoved back into the water. Ramen. How many meals had you two shared at this point? He had even started bringing you dinner to your office since he could take his mask off there rather than in the chow hall. You wouldn’t lie, you were starting to get tired. Your lungs burned from the fight to breathe and inhale the water, but you tried to shut off the small part of your brain that sent up signals of panic.

You didn’t need to worry, you reminded yourself. Just hold on a little longer.

“If you don’t start giving me real answers, maybe I’ll let some of our clients get it out of you. They’d love that,” the boss snarled when you were let up for air. Your gut tugged uncomfortably at the implication. It was always something that you had to keep in the back of your mind. Being a woman, military or not, always meant that it was a threat held over your head, simply for existing. It was why you were so eager to destroy their whole operation.

“How about you go fuck yourself?” Gathering up the blood and spit in your mouth, you forced your tongue back and then spat the putrid mix all over his face and the pristine white collar of his shirt. Rage flickered across his face and he stood up straight.

“Get me the pliers. If she won’t talk, we’ll make sure she screams.”

Well, you mused, what was a few less nails and teeth except less maintenance?

As his little goon walked off to whatever evil lair table of doom they had set up, your ears tuned into the silence around you. The typical sounds of the city met your ears, along with…there.

“I’m afraid, boys, that you’re out of time,” you said softly. A smile tugged painfully at your swollen and cut lips but you pushed past the pain. “This has been fun, truly, but I can’t lie and say I’ll miss you.”

The boss’ hand was heavy on the back of your neck as he held you down into the water. Even through the distorted splashes and fuzziness in your mind, you could hear five audible pops. You knew what they saw in their last moments. You knew that the Ghost emerged from the shadows, steps silent despite the fact that he was more muscle than man, and you knew that these men felt fear seconds before a bullet silenced their cruel minds.

He tugged you up out of the water and you inhaled deeply, the sound harsh and grating on your sensitive ears. Blinking the water out of your eyes, you came face to face with a mask that most said elicited a bone deep terror in them.

But not you.

“Right on time,” you panted. He said nothing as he cut the bindings holding you down and inspected the way that they had rubbed some of your skin away, leaving it tender and bleeding. Simon turned to look at the leader of all of this and you realized that he didn’t kill him. The man was dragging himself towards his discarded gun on the ground, blood oozing from his ruined kneecap. Ghost stalked towards him and lifted him up and away from his weapon. He regarded the little weasel coolly and then glanced back at you. You tried to push yourself up and out of the chair but your legs shook under you and instead, you collapsed back against the metal.

“Warehouse is clear,” Soap announced as he, Gaz, and Price entered. “Christ, bonnie, you look like shite.”

“You charmer,” you muttered. Gaz rushed to your side to help you up and you were grateful for your team. Your friends.

“This him?” Price asked as he joined Simon.

“Yeah.” It was the first time he’d spoken since he entered the building. “Keep him alive. I want to be the one to interrogate him.”

If it were anyone else, Price would agree. But seeing the slight tremor in Simon’s hands where he gripped the man’s suit jacket and then looking over to where Gaz was supporting your half-conscious form, he knew that putting Simon alone in a room with the man would result in a very messy clean up.

“We’ll worry about that when we get them back to base,” Price said. “We need to get her to medical.”

Four days into your medical leave and you were growing antsy. Soap and Gaz tried to keep you entertained and Price offered you an opportunity to yell at some cadets, but you were bored. You missed moving your body more than just the walk from your room to your office to the chow hall and back. But the doctor had threatened to strap you to a bed for a week while you let your body get back to normal after, and her words were, “you got your shit rocked. I know you SpecOps bastards think you’re invincible but anyone would need to take a fucking break after being tortured.” So, here you were, sitting in your office and writing up a mission plan for another team because Price knew you were getting twitchy without anything to do.

Two knocks, sharp and perfunctory, caught your attention. You called for whoever it was to enter, but you already knew who it would be. How many times had he laid that same knock upon your door? You once said that he might as well move into your office and he had regarded it for a moment thoughtfully, as if he was genuinely considering it.

“Four days of silence from you. Thought I did something wrong,” you commented lightly as Ghost entered and shut the door behind him. He didn’t take his usual seat, the plush wheelie chair you invested in when you joined the team and realized that he wasn’t leaving anytime soon. Simon dropped a tray onto your desk and then stalked away, his shoulders tense and bristling like a scared cat.

A quick glance at the time confirmed that your trap had worked. He always noticed if you missed a meal, usually because you were invested in something you were working on. Everyone had their own quirk or vice and that was yours.

He brought you beef stew over rice, a quintessential British meal that was surprisingly appetizing despite the cook’s minimal care. A shiny red apple sat beside it and, as if he read your thoughts, Simon whirled around and yanked it off of the tray. He extracted a knife from his pocket and started to carve the apple into slices that he dropped onto the tray and then turned around and began to stare at the wall once more. You simply grabbed one of the slices and chewed on it while waiting for him to speak.

“That was stupid,” his rough voice broke the silence. You scoffed and stopped chewing.

“What, getting captured? I didn’t fucking plan on it.”

“No. For not trying to escape.”

A dry, startled laugh escaped you and you scrubbed the heel of your hand over your forehead. “Five men with guns and me with nothing, tied to a chair. Yeah, fair chance of running without a bullet in the back.”

“You didn’t even try.”

“I didn’t have to. I knew you were coming.”

He turned to glare at you from behind that infamous mask and you cocked your head to the side. “That doesn’t scare me, Simon, and you know it. Take the mask off.”

He hesitated and then reached up and yanked it off, revealing the sharp line of his jaw, the scars around his mouth, and those freckles that speckled across his nose and cheeks. You could see him better and, therefore, read him better. His eyes told you he was angry. His tight jaw told you he was scared.

“You can’t just sit there and fucking die because you’re waiting for me, you can’t do that.”

“Why? You’re my teammate. I trust that you would come for me.”

“What if I hadn’t?” You shook your head at his question, at the absurdity of it. Was he hearing himself? Was he that consumed by whatever foolish notion that had somehow worked its way into his head? You pushed away from your desk and stood up so you could cross the floor to stand toe to toe with him. 

“What if what if what if, fuck the what ifs, Simon. You. Wouldn’t. Leave. Me. Behind.” Each word was punctuated with a jab to his chest.

“And what if I had been injured, yeah? What then?” God, he was insufferable.

“You really mean to tell me that you wouldn’t crawl through broken glass to get to one of us.”

“That’s not the point!”

“Would you have this conversation with Soap or Gaz or Price? Then why are you so insistent about it with me? I was doing my job. Are you saying I can’t trust you? Trust my team? Because I can. I do. Don’t start telling me I shouldn’t.”

“You can. For fuck’s sake, you can.”

“You said it yourself, Simon, this job is dangerous and I knew the risks going in so I don’t know why you’re so insistent on thi-“

He tasted like nicotine and mint gum with maybe a hint of gunpowder, something so uniquely him. His lips pressed against yours with surprising gentleness and he cradled your face between his hands like you were the most precious glass figure he’d ever held. You fisted your hands in the lapels of his uniform jacket and sank into his touch. His fingers traced the skin of your cheeks, careful to not irritate the cuts you sustained days prior, and down to cup the back of your neck to draw you closer. A soft whimper escaped you at the sensation of his strong body pressing against yours.

You could easily hold your own in a fight, but the knowledge that this Adonis of a man was by your side through the hell of war was a comfort.

You needed to breathe but it wasn’t the painful reminder like it was when being tortured. His hands slid from your neck to cradling your jaw as you pulled away, settling back down on your heels.

“Don’t make me bury you,” he whispered, his forehead still pressed against yours.

You nodded, too dazed to say anything noteworthy. His thumbs stroked over your jaw and you blinked up at him.

“Was that a one time thing to shut me up or…”

“Fuckin’ insufferable, you are,” he grunted but leaned down to kiss you sweetly. There wasn’t much you could associate with Simon Riley and being sweet, but the tenderness in his touch made you want to hold him and keep him away from the world that had hurt him.

You felt his fingers brush against a nasty bruise on your jaw from a well aimed hit and saw his eyes darken.

“Did you question him already?”

“We’ve got a list of buyers that MI6 and Laswell are confirming right now,” he affirmed. Good. The mission was a success then.

“And how did you get this information?” you asked.

You met the gaze of the Ghost and didn’t flinch. He chuckled low and deep in his chest and tilted your chin up so he could see one of the cuts better.

“I did everything he did to you,” he said fiercely. "But I made sure it was permanent."

You moved your hand up to tangle with the short hair at the base of his neck and pressed your lips against his. Pulling back so just a small gap separated you, you murmured out a single sentence.

"I trusted you would."

[solselah]

GODDESS MESSAGE

𓋹

PILE 1 :

𖤓HATHOR𖤓

Omg so immediately she wants to work with you as far as transformation is concerned!!! She can empathize and understand your emotional pain and physical Boundaries !! She sees that in love you have been so fucked over. Especially with the cheating and not being honest & non comital in totality she really wants to help usher in a new person , a new energy for you ! Even if they start as one of your closest friends ! She wants you to be Content and balanced !! She’s also letting you know , that person who fumbled you is definitely getting their just do with karma! And it manifest in a very specific way for this person , I’ll tell you now she is the reason why ! She’s teaching a very strong karmic lesson to this person & my love, to you as well! The twin flame card is here but I’m not feeling that energy at all , I’m more so feeling that this illusion has crumbled to pieces !! You wouldn’t even “care” if they were considered your twin flame honestly the hurt to you Goes way beyond a “dynamic” your over it ! And she can so sense it ! It’s up to you to be truthful and open to her if you are or plan on working with her energy ! Just know it’s a journey & also not everything is rainbow and unicorns with her ! She’s going to reveal to you some real sh*t !

𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹

PILE 2:

𓋹 🐈‍⬛ BASTET 🐈‍⬛ 𓋹

Bastet would like to tell you that there is some spiritual conversations going on in the spiritual realm about you !! She is showing up to help you out with your life’s purpose , giving you the push and encouragement you need to actually put yourself out there !! She intends for you to come into union with your passion! The issue here is that you are totally not willing to fully receive ! She is very strict about this message but in order to walk with her on this journey she would like to take with you , you would have to open up just a bit more ! Like you do your part she will do hers !! She also has some secrets she would love to disclose to you !! I’m talking she can be your spiritual ears when you aren’t around ! She has your back !! You just have to be actually willing !!

𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹

PILE 3:

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ NUT ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

okay so this beautiful goddess sends you intense messages not sure if you have put a name to who is sending these messages but I hope this helps !!

You dream and almost instantly forget once you wake up , she is in charge of taking up that empty space !! I think she is proving to you that parts of you are very closed off like even to the point where it has gotten spiritually silent for you ! That is intentional and will not LAST ! But she moves in complete silence when it comes down to it. She wants you to know YOU ARE SO PROTECTED! Don’t you even dare try to question that ! Like to the point you question her she might let a small mishap happen just so you see her energy LIVE IN ACTION !! She is Very big on lessons with you!! She can see future YOU , and honestly you are going places my friend ! So idk if you would officially decide to work with her but I do know she is there & around ! It’s like she is your encourager someone on the “sideline” for you spiritually!

𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹

PILE 4:

𓍝 MAAT 𓍝

“Give me the energy “

You could be so “bleh” right now like things just don’t seem worth being excited over, for you! She wants to bring you to a grounded space ! It’s obvious you aren’t the same person that you were like last year emotionally ! And she can see you doing better if you were to focus on your emotionally health ! Like she even encourages therapy or a tool that you can utilize to express exactly how you feel ! She also would love to just hear from you ; she can be that for you ! That support.

Although she will tell the truth EVERY TIME! And it may sting real bad , it’s imperative so that you can get up out of this state. It feels good to you right now but she can sense other things that you may not be able to at the moment. So she’s here to ground you , help put your feet on solid ground!!! I also see incense she may want you to burn some for her !! Also I’m getting heavy Aquarius energy along with Uranus energy !! She is highlighting a spiritual cleanse you may need to do !!

𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹𓋹

Hope you enjoy ❤️

IG:@soleccentric

[katiexpunk]

Caller Number Nine | Pairing Javier Peña x Fem!Reader

Summary: You're a radio host of a popular late-night segment on relationships, advice and more. After a particularly bad night of calls, your final call of the night takes you by surprise.

Warnings: Javier is a flirt. Alcohol/marijuana. Humor/Banter. Flirting. References to infidelity and a man's negative view on his wife's postpartum body (the reader puts them both in their place). Both reader and Javier are lonely. New York. Slightly dom Javier. Biting. Javier gives reader a hickey. Murphy the Cat (this cat is DEA). Bodegas and a wholesome shop owner named Carlos. Some Spanish. TUWOMT call back to Paddington 2 but in a Javier AU. Javier calls the reader a slut once (she likes it). Praise kink. Thigh riding. Use of pet names. Just a hot fuck. Creampie. Unprotected sex. Fingering. Pizza on ranch. Dave Portnoy gets mentioned (iykyk). No use of Y/N, no use of daddy. For immersability, the reader has no major physical descriptions.

W/C: ~6K

A/N: Let's just say this story was inspired by the slutty mustache that has made a triumphant return. I’m also just really into pizza with ranch right now, too, idk. If you need me I’ll be internally freaking out about the fact that there are almost 1,400 of you interested in my silly little stories. Thank you. 🥹🖤

Masterlist | Notifications | Read on AO3

People suck at listening. You used to, too. But over time, call after call, you have become intimately acquainted with the quiet moments—the pauses between heartbeats, the breaths taken before confessions spill forth, the silence that stretches like a canvas waiting for emotions to color it. 

These moments, often overlooked in the noise of daily life, are where you find the truth that guides you through the tangled web of love and relationships you navigate every night on your show.

For you, the quiet is not emptiness but a space brimming with potential. It's in these pauses that you listen most intently, not just to the spoken words but to the ones that tremble on the edge of silence, too shy or too scared to make themselves heard. You have learned that what is not said can be just as important as what is, and you can hear those unspoken fears, dreams, and desires. 

Each night, as the clock winds down and the world outside your studio window holds its breath, you lean into the quiet, inviting it into your show. You encourage your callers to do the same—to listen to the quiet within themselves, to the truths they've buried under layers of fear, doubt, or societal expectation. "In the silence," you often say, "you'll find the answers you've been too busy to hear."

Most of the time the callers are open to your feedback, their hearts open and kind.

Most of the time. 

Tonight isn’t one of those times.

++++

“Have you ever had Brussels sprouts made for you at midnight by a gorgeous woman in no pants following multiple orgasms? I have, and they’re fucking delicious,” one caller said. It was obvious after minutes of talking to him that he was failing to heed your advice that if he didn’t stop sleeping with women who weren’t his wife, she would likely find out one day and leave him. God, you hope she does. 

“I love her, you know? I just don’t find myself that physically attracted to her after she had the baby, it’s not my fault…” another said. Ugh, fuck off, dude. You were quick to shut that one down, to tell him that he was being a boy, to go to the store and buy his wife some goddamn flowers and apologize for being such an asshole. 

Like a broken record stuck on repeat, this is how the night continues. One bad call after another, each seeming to echo or outdo the last in its what the fuck factor. 

In the dimly lit recording studio, a soft hum of equipment fills the air, punctuated only by the occasional flicker of LED lights on the soundboard. You think briefly about letting out a scream before your last call, surely the foam walls would absorb the sound. 

The glow of the computer screen casts a soft light on your face, accentuating the furrow of your brow and the downturn of your lips. You're a picture of frustration, a stark contrast to the empathetic persona that your listeners know and rely on. Each bad call tonight has chipped away at you. You drop your head into your hands and rub your temples for a brief moment before looking up at the clock, its hands inching their way to your liberation. 

Just one more call. 

The phone lines blink red. Your hand, a little steadier than you feel, reaches out and cues up the next caller, your voice finding strength as it always does when you speak into the void. 

“Hi there, caller number nine. You’re on the air with Midnight Confessions. What’s on your heart tonight?” 

“Ah shit – oh, uh probably shouldn’t say that on air huh – mm, wasn’t expecting to get through,” the man admits, his tone telling you he’s nervous, and probably a little drunk. 

“Guess it’s your lucky night then. And it’s a late-night show, you can curse all you want to. What’s your name?” you ask, trying to ease him into the conversation.

There’s a pause, the kind that tells you the caller is weighing his options on whether he should give you his real name or not. Finally, he exhales softly, his mouth close to the receiver, enough for the exhale to cut through the static. 

“I’m Javier. And you are?” 

“You can call me the voice of the night,” you reply, a small smile tugging at the corners of your mouth, the first genuine one in hours.

“Didn’t realize I called the crime fighters hotline.”

The joke catches you by surprise and you let out a little laugh.

“Can’t say I’ve gotten that one before,” you respond before eventually giving him your real name. “So tell me, Javier, what would you like to talk about tonight?” 

There’s another pause, longer this time, before Javier’s voice returns softer, and you can tell the tone is about to shift. 

“This is stupid, I shouldn’t have called. I’m sorry for wasting your time tonight ma’am,” he says, and you can tell he’s seconds away from hanging up. 

“Javier, wait –” you say, but he doesn’t respond. The line hasn’t disconnected, so you know he’s still there. 

“Listen, I don’t know you – and you don’t have to tell me anything – but I can tell from the tone of your voice that it sounds like you’re carrying quite a bit on your shoulders. It’s brave of you to want to open up about it. Sometimes, talking to a stranger is easier than talking to someone you know,” you say, letting the dead air hang heavy for a second, “let me try to help.” You try not to make a habit out of convincing callers to spill their guts, but something about this call, this man, compels you to. 

Javier sighs a sound that carries a world of worry. “I don’t even know where to start. My whole life, I’ve defined myself by my job, and without that, I –” his voice starts to crack, and he stops. You hear the clank of an ice cube against glass, and he continues again, “I realize how alone I am, how I don’t have anyone or anything. I feel like the only company I have these days are the ghosts of a past life.” 

You don’t have the full context of his confession, but it hits you deeper than expected, echoing a sentiment that's all too familiar. You think about how most of the time, when you’re not working, you’re either turning to dust on the couch or in the company of fictional men you read about in books. 

"Javier," you start, your voice softer, threading through the silence with care, "I understand more than you might think. You're not alone. It might feel that way right now, but I promise you’re not,” you say sweetly.

When he doesn’t say anything, you continue, “Losing a part of our identity, especially one that's been a cornerstone of who we are, is like losing our direction. But it's also an opportunity, a chance to rediscover yourself, to find new aspects of your life that give you meaning and joy."

You pause, giving Javier space, letting your words hopefully seep in to provide some comfort. 

“What does that mean – that you understand more than I might think?” he asks, not acknowledging the rest of your statement, a curiosity in his voice. 

“It means –” you start. Oh god, here we go. You’re not often like this with your callers, but this feels different. The studio, with its blinking lights and the gentle hum of the machinery, suddenly feels more intimate, as if it's just you and Javier at this moment, connecting through the airwaves.  

“When I was little, my mother always knew my things, quirks, you know? Things like the fact that I’m scared of heights, that I get cranky if I don’t eat breakfast, and that I only like ranch dressing on pizza and never salad. It’s all trivial, small little details, but from this, I think I learned that being known is to be loved. 

You take a deep breath, and let the silence swallow you whole for a moment before continuing. 

“When I say I understand more than you might think, I mean that I’m still one of those people who’s waiting for someone to tell me how much I mean to them, still hoping for someone who will know those things about me, too,” you pause.

“Someone who will hold my hand tightly when I’m on a rooftop so I don’t somehow tumble over the edge, someone who will make sure I eat breakfast, even if it’s just a shitty granola bar, someone who will buy the fancy ranch, even if it only gets used on greasy pizza.” 

You hear Javier chuckle through the line. 

“Something funny?” you ask, a little confused, slightly embarrassed that this call has somehow reversed the roles and you’re the one spilling your confessions over like a broken yolk into his hand. 

“No, no – it’s just ranch on pizza, that’s uh, that’s…disgusting,” he admits, a playful tone to his words, the sadness before seems to be gone, but you know his humor is likely just a mask. 

“Excuse me, I’ll have you know ranch on pizza is a classic, and quite delicious. Thousands – no millions – of people like ranch on their pizza, it’s not that weird,” you quip. 

“Right,” he rasps, “I’ll take your word for it, sweetheart.” You bite your lower lip and try to ignore the heat that’s risen to your cheeks, the little thrill you feel in your stomach from your banter. You’re quickly brought back to reality when you look at the clock and realize your call time is nearing an end. 

“Well, Javier, you're my last call of the night and I’m afraid it’s time to wrap the show up. Is there anything else I can help you with before I let you go?” 

“No,” he says, his voice a low rasp, thick like honey, “thanks for saying all of that.”

“That’s what I’m here for,” you say, the smile still on your lips like sugar from cotton candy. You slump back into your chair and the line disconnects. 

++++

As the clock ticks past one, the studio lights fall to darkness, leaving only a solitary desk lamp to cast long shadows across the room. You loop the familiar weight of your backpack over your shoulder and put on your headphones. 

You lock the studio door, and step into the brisk night air — it’s March, technically Spring, but the remnants of Winter are still holding tight. The city's pulse is tangible, even at this late hour, as you navigate your way to the subway. With only the Eagles in your ear to keep you company, you watch as the Graffiti-streaked walls blur past. 

Once off the subway, you think about heading straight home to promptly melt into your mattress, but the rumble in your stomach reminds you that you haven’t eaten since lunch. 

Might as well go see Murphy. He’s always happy to see you. 

You round around the corner and the bodega lights come into view. The ground beneath you is damp and you’re careful not to step into any puddles as you make your way to the shop. You push open the shop door and the familiar chime of a bell alerts Murphy to your presence. 

“Hi Murphy,” you coo, crouching closer to the ground so he can rub up against you. “How’s my favorite boy?” You say, scratching his favorite spot under his chin, feeling the comfort of his soft fur and rhythmic purr. If Murphy had it his way, you’d live at the Bodega, ceasing only to exist to give him love. 

Your stomach growls again and you rise, “Gonna get some dinner now, okay Murph?” You walk through the tight aisles, grab a can of tuna as you pass by the canned goods, making your way to the frozen section in the back.

Chicken nuggets it is, you silently tell yourself before grabbing the frozen bag and making your way to the register. 

"Hola, Carlos. ¿Cómo va tu noche?" (Hi, Carlos. How’s your night going?) 

"Oh, hola.” As much as you’d love to practice your Spanish with Carlos, he needs to practice his English more and you’re more than happy to oblige. 

"Good to see you. Listened to your show tonight, what a piece of work some of those people were,” he responds, using his index finger to punch numbers on the cash register.

"Tell me about it. How much do I owe you?"

"$7.50. Murphy says thank you for the donation,” he smiles, holding up the canned Tuna, and like clockwork, Murphy jumps up on the counter and starts assaulting the can with his cheek. 

“Like he gave me any choice,” you respond, handing over $10. Carlos gives you your change and you give Murphy a few final loving pats on the head.

“¡Hasta mañana!"

"Buenas noches."

Back in the quiet of your apartment, the microwave fights you, its door refusing to stay closed until you jam it shut with a wooden spoon. With dinner finally spinning inside, you sink onto the couch, the night’s weight lifting off your shoulders. You feel yourself nodding off before the sound of the microwave beeping and the rumble of your stomach wake you up. 

Dinner done, you smoke a joint, the smoke curling lazily in the lamplight. Your mind goes fuzzy and you stare up at the ceiling, trying to make shapes out of the popcorn on the ceiling. Your mind drifts to the thought of your last caller and you let your mind wander as you imagine what he might be up to tonight. Is he asleep? Or is he staring up at his ceiling, lost in thoughts as you are?

The only thing you know for certain is that you’re both alone tonight. At least there’s some comfort in knowing you’re not the only one.

The city outside continues its restless murmuring, but your mind goes silent as you fall asleep. 

++++

You're grateful to have the next night off. Not like you have plans, but at least you don’t have to show face or wash your hair. Even if you did have to go out in public tonight, it wouldn’t matter — that’s the beauty of New York. You could look like a gutter rat and nobody would give a shit. But still, the freedom of an evening without obligations feels like a luxury, a small pocket of time where the demands of the world fade into the background. 

Staring at your nearly empty fridge, its emptiness staring back at you, you sigh. Fuck. And then it hits you, unexpected but undeniable, a craving for pizza. Not just any pizza, but a pie from your favorite local spot, where the crust is always perfectly crisp and the cheese melts in a way that feels like a hug for your taste buds.

Stepping out into the evening rain, you make your way to the pizzeria that’s only a block away. The moment you open the door, a warm wave of garlic, tomato, and baked dough envelops you. The line isn’t long, but it gives you enough time to deliberate over your order, though deep down, you know you’ll end up choosing your usual — a Margherita. 

You peek up from your phone and notice the man in front of you at the order counter. Broad shoulders strain against the fabric of his shirt, his tight jeans outlining a figure that speaks of strength. Dark hair and tan skin contrast strikingly under the fluorescent lighting. He orders confidently, his voice smooth, almost familiar. As he’s about to cash out, he adds “Can I get a side of ranch too, please?” 

“No problem,” the cashier says, a little too happy to oblige his request. She’s flirting, you don’t know her, but you can tell. When the cashier asks for a name for the order, it confirms what you think you already know. 

 "Javier." The name hangs in the air, a familiar sound that sends a jolt through you. 

It couldn’t possibly be. 

The words escape your lips before you have a chance to second-guess it. 

“I thought ranch on pizza was disgusting.” 

He turns to face you and oh. You might have guessed that he was attractive from his voice, but seeing him is something else entirely. He’s strikingly handsome, with a dark mustache trimmed perfectly above his lip, his jaw stark and chiseled. The corners of his lips turn up in a smirk. 

“Shit. Caught red-handed by the crime stopper herself,” he says with a wink. 

Okay, so he’s handsome and charming. You’re so fucked. 

As Javier steps aside, your gaze lingers for a moment longer before you place your own order. You feel his eyes boring into the back of your head as you do. 

“No plans tonight?” He asks, and you shake your head. 

“Not really, just this. Might swing by to see my boyfriend on my way home,” you say, noticing the way his expression shifts into disappointment, it’s subtle, but it’s there. 

“Oh,” Javier says. He thinks for a second that maybe you were lying last night about understanding what it’s like to be alone. 

“Yeah, we’ve got a hot date with a can of tuna,” you respond, smiling as you watch his very visibly confused face, the furrow of his brow. You can tell he’s not quite sure how to respond, the words a tangled knot in his brain, or perhaps conjuring up some weird kinky thoughts about what a date with a can of tuna could entail. He’s not sure he wants to know.

“I’m just messing with you,” you laugh. “He’s a bodega cat up the street, I usually swing by every night after work and I’ve developed a soft spot for the little guy. His name’s Murphy.” 

“Wait, Murphy? From Carlos’ shop?” Javier asks, and you’re a little surprised. 

“You know Carlos?” 

“Yeah, yeah — he’s friends with my father. Great guy,” he adds, nodding to the pizzeria worker who hands him his order. You notice the blush on her cheeks when he says thank you.

You watch intently as the other worker packs up yours, placing two to-go containers of ranch on your box. 

You grab your pizza and use your free hand to grab one of the containers of ranch and extend it to Javier. “For you,” you smile as you hold it out to him. 

“Eat with me?” He asks, grabbing the ranch from your hand, your skin briefly touching. 

How could you say no? 

You smile and nod, and follow him through the restaurant. He holds the door open for you and places his hand on your lower back as he guides you out. You feel like a schoolgirl with a crush. He’s just being a gentleman, but something about the touch causes something in your core to run hot, a hint of arousal in its warmth. 

In typical New York fashion, you find a relatively clean stoop to sit on. With the pizza boxes open on the step in front of you, the steam wafting in the cool night air, you smile at Javier. 

“Are you ready to have your world rocked?” You ask, holding the pizza up long enough for the strings of cheese to disconnect from the box. He does the same. 

“After you, Cariño.” 

Cariño. So he’s a flirt, too. 

You dip your slice into the ranch, a perfect amount clinging to the tip, before you bring it to your lips. The anticipation builds with the scent of garlic and herbs wafting up. 

You barely pause to savor the moment before you declare, “Some people say the first bite of pizza is the best, but I disagree.” You dunk it back into the ranch and take another, this time bigger than the first, “The second bite is really where it’s at.” Since when did you become Dave Portnoy?

Javier watches with amusement as you delight over your dinner. “Go on now, after you,” you nod, continuing to work on your pizza like a starving dog. You watch as he delicately dunks his pizza into the ranch, and like a baby bird, takes a small bite. You study his expression, a mix of curiosity and amusement, as he carefully chews. His face gives nothing away, a poker face if you ever saw one, until he finally delivers his verdict, “Can’t say it’s my favorite.”

“What?” you gasp, half in disbelief, half in jest. You playfully nudge him, your hand reaching out to liberate the neglected ranch from his box. “Let me save this from your indifference,” you tease, claiming the ranch for your own. The banter feels easy, much like it did when he called in the other night. 

“So tell me, Javier,” he stops you “You can call me Javi,” he says. 

“Javi,” you smile, picking at a tomato on your second slice. “What made you want to call in the other night?” 

He looks at you as you bring the tomato to your mouth, and lets his gaze linger on your lips. You notice. 

“That’s a good question. Um,” he says, taking another bite before continuing, his elbows on his thighs, staring out into the street. “Truthfully, I was a little drunk, and a lot alone. I think I just wanted someone to talk to.” 

“I get that,” you acknowledge. 

“What? You probably talk to dozens of people every day,” he responds, turning to face you this time. 

"False. I listen to dozens of people every day, but I don’t really get to talk. At least, not about things that matter, not truly." He gives you a long look, then nods, understanding etched into his features. He doesn’t pry further. 

A comfortable silence settles between you as you both work on finishing your pizzas.

"What about you?" you finally break the silence.

"What about me?" he echoes, a hint of curiosity in his tone.

"I spilled my plans for the night, my glamorous date with Murphy. What's on your agenda?" you ask, leaning forward slightly. His tight bicep muscles press up against your arm.

"This," he gestures broadly to the city around you, wrapped in the open night. Then, with a sheepish grin, he adds, "Well, actually, I was planning to go home and watch Paddington 2."

You laugh hard enough to let out a little snort. He looks at you with affectionate eyes, like you’re the cutest thing he’s seen in a while. 

“Paddington 2? Like, the bear movie?” you manage between chuckles.

“Yep. I cried through the entire thing the first time I saw it. It made me want to be a better man.” 

“I see, well I’ll have to take your word for it, I’ve never seen it.” 

"Do you want to come over and watch it?" he proposes, the question hanging in the air. It’s a bold move, especially since you've only just met, but there’s an earnestness in his invitation that makes you pause, considering.

"Only if we can swing by and say hi to Murphy on the way," you quip, bumping your shoulder against his lightly.

“Deal,” he says with a wink. 

++++

As the saying goes, you make plans and god laughs. 

It's almost as if you could have, perhaps even should have, anticipated this turn of events. 

Paddington 2 might as well have been code for want to come over and fuck? 

The energy crackling between you two is undeniable, magnetic. His blend of wit, handsomeness, and confident charm weaves an irresistible allure, drawing you in closer with every word, every glance. 

It's one of those rare, electric connections that you read about or see in movies, but seldom experience in real life. Yet here it is, unfolding in real-time, a reminder that sometimes the most memorable moments are those you never see coming. You rarely see yourself as the main character, but tonight you feel like one. 

In the narrow stairwell, his hips press firmly against yours, your back against the cold wall, arms pinned above your head. His lips find yours with an intensity that leaves no room for hesitation, a crash of desire against desire. You surrender to the moment, tilting your pelvis into his, a plea for more. 

The world around you is a blur; it's just the two of you, enveloped in a haze of passion. His hands, desperate and eager, fumble for his keys—a brief interruption in your heated exchange as he struggles to unlock the door without breaking the heat of your gaze, the connection of your lips only momentarily severed. The anticipation builds with each fumbled attempt, heightening the intensity as you eventually enter his apartment and he has you pressed up against the door.

His lips trail from yours down the razor edge of your jaw, the hallow of your throat, over your collarbones, and down the valley of your still-clothed chest. “Javi,” you moan, and he responds with a groan into your chest. He looks up at you through his gorgeous lashes, “Can I take this off, Cariño?” 

“Yes, yeah — shit, yes, please.” 

He makes quick work of your shirt and assists it over your head, before returning his lips to your soft skin and working to undo your bra at the same time. “God damn” he mumbles under his breath, and you can’t help but feel the warmth rush to your chest and cheeks, “so pretty.” 

You can’t even remember the last time you were touched like this, nonetheless kissed. Your skin erupts in goosebumps as he makes his tongue trail over one of your nipples, the other being teased slightly between his fingers. The sensation causes you to tilt your head back in ecstasy and you let out a soft moan. “Oh, yeah? You like it when I do that, baby?” You nod your head in response. “Use your words.” 

“Yes, oh god — feels so good.” 

“That’s better.” 

You bring both of your hands to the waistband of his denim and pull him in closer to you, close enough to feel his hard cock, desperate to be touched. He brings his hands to grip your hair, baring your throat to him. He forces your legs apart with his knee, shoving it against your core. You begin to slowly grind on the denim. 

“Want more?” 

“Fuck, yes — ” you whimper with another grind against him. He kisses you again, one hand tightly gripping your hip and the other wrapped in your hair. You cling to him, arms wrapped around his middle until you drop them to find his belt buckle. His lips find yours once more, and he sucks the bottom one into his mouth before biting it and letting go.

He steps back, and you work to remove the rest of your clothing and shoes. You shimmy your pants over your thighs, taking your underwear with you. He thought you were beautiful from the moment he turned around and saw you, but seeing you standing in front of him, chest heaving, bare and perfect just for him, is another story. He slides his pants and underwear off in one go, kicking them off the side along with his boots.

He only gives you a moment to admire his form, cock hard and thick, the tip of it red and weeping, before he surges forward and kisses you with new passion. He licks the seam of your lips before forcing it open with his tongue, swallowing every one of your moans like they’re a gift just for him.

When you both can’t breathe, he pulls back and peppers kiss down your neck once more before he sucks a hickey into your neck, eliciting a breathy moan from you. He smirks against your skin and moves to the expanse of your shoulder, finding a new spot to bite and suck. 

He forces his thigh between yours again, pushing the expanse of it right up against your bare pussy. You moan and cling to him, once again riding his thigh. “You gonna come on my thigh, baby?” He questions against your skin, feeling your shoulders shudder from his breath ghosting along your neck. He tightens his grip on your waist and rocks you forward, “Use me. Want to feel you soak me,” he hums, kissing your neck. You’re lost in the haze of your arousal, chasing the friction you so desperately need. 

“Answer me, Cariño.” 

“Y-yes.” You breathe,  tightening your grip on him. You grind against him more, faster, harder. “Want it so bad.”  And fuck, you do, you need it so bad but you’re not sure you can get there from just this. 

“What do you want, beautiful?” He questions with another bite to your skin. “Do you want to come on my thigh like the good little slut I know you are?” You whine at the filth of his words, the warmth of his praise causing your belly to tighten. He tightens his grip on your hips and guides you faster on his leg, his fingers digging into your skin, hard enough you hope you bruise. 

“Show me how pretty you are when you come, Cariño — make a mess of me,” Your body seizes up and you throw your head back and let out a guttural moan. The spot where your pussy rests against his thigh gets wetter. When you tilt your head back up, his eyes are what throws you over the edge. He holds your gaze as he watches you come for him, on him, because of him. “Fuck, that was gorgeous,” he moans, holding you steady as you come down from your orgasm. 

“Bed. Now,” he demands, guiding you through the hall and to his bedroom. 

You fall back onto the bed, your back hitting the mattress with a small oof, your breasts bouncing with the movement. He holds his heavy cock in hand by the base as he gently strokes himself, and watches as you part your legs wide open for him and finger yourself.

He continues to work himself while staring at your tight, slick hole, dripping just for him. His eyes go impossibly dark as he watches your fingers saw in and out, you’re really quite the sight.

“Shit, Cariño. Look at your little pussy,” his voice in between a whine and a whimper, as he steps forward between your legs and begins to position himself at your entrance. One hand on your knee, the other holding himself, he presses the head of his cock into you, making you moan, his tip alone is a stretch you’re unfamiliar with — it’s intense but good.  

He’s not trying to taunt you, not really. “Just wanna make sure you’re nice and ready to take this fat cock,” he says, pressing just the mushroom head in and out of you. The slow drag of it is excruciating, enough for you to let out a plea of please fuck me. “Look so good like this, baby. Can feel you sucking me in, she wants it bad, doesn’t she?” 

You nod, “More, Javi. Need to feel you inside of me, please,” you plead, holding your thighs behind your knees, spreading yourself wider for him, giving him full access to your cunt. 

“Yeah, okay,” he says, thrusting the full length of him into you, and ohhhhmyfuck. 

Your pussy walls flutter and tighten around him, and he lets out a wrecked groan. He draws his hips back and slams that back into you with enough thrust that your tits bounce. His thrusts are hard, but slow, giving you time to adjust to his size. He’s quick to pick up the pace, causing you to sob in pleasure, broken moans leaving your lips as he knocks the wind out of you with each snap of his hips. 

He draws himself nearly out, his cock glistening with your slick, and he grabs both of your hips to hold you steady as he fucks into you. “Look at the mess we’re making together, Cariño. So fucking beautiful, you’re taking this cock so well.” You’re starting to realize that he’s a smooth talker both in and out of bed. 

You wail as he picks up his speed, panting and grunting, groaning as he watches the thin skin of your pussy stretch around his girth. He releases one of his hands from your hips and brings the pad of his thumb to the swollen clit between your folds, and begins to rub tight circles. 

“So tight, baby, little cunt’s trying to make me come, isn’t she?” He groans, his pace slowly slightly, his stomach muscles tightening and his jaw clenched shut. 

“Want you to, want you to fill this hole up with all of your come. Want to feel you drip out of me, need to feel you.” Your words spur him on more, and he continues working your clit, his cock thrusting in and out of you, “oh god, please, please, please.” You’re not usually one to beg, but something about him has it pouring out of you. 

“Yeah? Want me to fill you up, baby? I will if you come with me,” he says, an intensity, an urgency behind his voice. You’re so close, you think you’ll be able to come with him, but before you have the chance to get there, you watch as he squeezes his eyes shut to try and collect himself, but he’s too close, nearly over the edge of his orgasm. His cock starts to swell and his movements get a little sloppy. 

“Come in me, Javi. Want to feel you,” you moan, your voice a seductive whisper, and that does it.

His hips stutter, “Fuck, Cariño,” he groans, his voice a wreck, as he buries himself to the hilt inside of you and starts to throb ropes of his warm spend in you. There’s so much that it spills out of you and down your asscheek. 

“Oh such a messy, pretty pussy,” he groans, admiring the way your cunt looks stuffed full of him, the glisten of your release and his on his cock, “Milking me so good.” 

“Gonna make you come for me again beautiful,” he says, cock still spearing you, throbbing and pulsing as he collects some of his spend on his fingers and brings it to the needy button between your legs. It doesn’t take much to get you there, and within seconds you’re on the brink of your orgasm. 

The warmth that pools in your belly grows and radiates through your limbs until your whole body feels tingly and your vision goes white. 

“Oh my god, Javi, I’m coming,” you wail, a blubbering mess of pleasure, until you’re drowning in the sea of your orgasm. 

“Can feel you squeezing me, sweet girl,” he groans, both out of pleasure and a little bit of over-stimulation on his already spent cock, “So. Fucking. Pretty. Such a good girl,” he says as he works you through the last of your orgasm. After you come down from your high, he gently pulls out of you, and a little trail of his come follows and spills out onto the sheets below. 

“Jesus, Javi. That was something else,” you say, blissed out and thoroughly fucked. You nestle up into his chest like it’s easy, it comes naturally, a movement you don’t even question. He wraps his arm around you and plants a soft kiss on the top of your head in response.

“Can I say something?” He asks, and you look up at him a little worried. Waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

“I’d buy the fancy ranch for you.”  

END

If you like this, please consider a reblog. <3

Trying a thing where I don't use a tag list to see how it goes. To be notified when I post fics, follow @katiexpunkupdates

END A/N: the line she gives Javier in response to knowing what he means in the first part of the fic is adapted from a poem. I wrote it down, but forgot to name the author. So credit to the author, whoever it is.

[strniohoeee]

Hidden In The Shadows Pt. 4(Final Chapter)

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Waking up dazed and confused, Y/N is taken by surprise when certain events seem to take place. Unsure of how to feel Y/N battles with the decisions of staying or leaving for good

Warnings⚠️: SADDDDD NGL😭, but like not really but also IDK??? I wasn’t sure how to end this installment, but I know I didn’t want to make it some fairytale type shit LMAOOO

Songs for imagine: Blue Moon- Elvis Presley, Bang Bang(My Baby Shot Me Down)- Nancy Sinatra

Tags: @lacysturniolo @gamermattsgf @nicksmainbitch @s7urnfilms @sturnssmuts @vickyzloserz @mayhem-72 @sturn3g1rl @mattsturniolowifey

Blue Moon

You knew just what I was there for

You heard me saying a prayer for

Someone I really could care for

If my mother could see the position I was currently in she’d be so ashamed….disappointed even. She’s always taught me stranger danger and leave it to her daughter to sleep with the stranger and the danger….

I can’t remember much, but I can remember the emptiness….the cold darkness of my mind. My physical body slumps somewhere while my conscious fights to wake me up.

Who knows what’s going on in the real world right now. I could be tied to a pole and slow roasting like a pig, or maybe even locked in someone’s dungeon. Or what if this is all some crazy bad dream and I’m actually back home in my comfortable bed….

My thoughts were slowly coming to a halt as my eyes began to open slowly. Squinting at the sensitivity they were facing I groaned and cleared my throat. The throbbing in my head and the burning of my nose leads me to believe Matt used an awful lot of chloroform to knock me out. He’s lucky he didn’t kill because I’d haunt his ass.

Opening my eyes fully I realized I was tied to a chair in a basement? Oh actually my basement? Looking around I realized I was in the same place I was when Matt caught me.

I began to move against the ropes, pulling and yanking as I groaned in anger.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you” I heard from behind me, causing me to stop and jump

“Who’s there” I asked trying to look over my shoulders

“Why’d you have to be so nosy? Making everything so complicated” I heard him say

“You fucking psycho….Matt let me fucking go” I said pulling harder against the ropes

“You see I just can’t do that” he replied to me walking from behind me

“You fucking weirdo….oh god….oh my god I had sex with a fucking psycho… please just kill me that would be less embarrassing” I say shaking my head and tapping my feet on the ground

Coming from behind me Matt stands in front of me. Except he doesn’t look angry…. He looked concerned and scared. Which made me a bit scared and anxious

“What are you doing?” I yelled at him yanking myself around

“sit still” he said in a firm whisper

“Fuck off” I said in annoyance to him

Grabbing my face to have me look at him I attempted to yank away.

“GET OFF OF ME” I yelled at him trying to bite him

“STOP IT AND LOOK AT ME” he says with wide eyes

Letting go of me he steps back. Looking over his shoulder he turns back to me. Placing his pointer finger over his mouth he motions for me to stay quiet and then with the same finger points behind himself and then points to his ear.

“Listen here darling you’re going to do as I say” he says sternly and loudly

Digging in his back pocket he takes out a piece of paper, unraveling it he faces it to me so I can read.

They’ve been on you this whole time and they used me to get to you. At first I was going to do it, but I like you too much. They’ve been in your house multiple times and have found all the information you have on this town. I’m so sorry for who I am and what my family has done; but I don’t want to hurt you. They are having me watch you while they put all your stuff in your car. They’re planning to kill you and make it seem like it was an accident. However I won’t let that happen. I’m going to get you out of here and I have a plan! But they don’t fully trust me and are listening to me and watching my every move. So please just do as I say. I’m sorry.

After reading the note a tear slipped down my face and I looked up at Matt. His eyes softened and his lip trembled, swallowing thickly he nodded his head. Folding the paper back up he put it in his back pocket.

“You will listen to me and me only! Make any stupid moves and I will kill you myself” he says loudly with a sincere look

“Go to hell” I spat at him

Listening above he heard the two men walk away from the basement door. Ushering over to me quickly he got down and began to whisper

“Okay so here’s the plan. There is only one way out and only one chance to get this right so please do as I say. They’re loading up your car and they’re planning on having me drive you to a secluded area a little outside of this town. They want me to set your car on fire” he says shaking his head and looking down

“What?” I say shocked and beginning to panic

“My getaway car was planted in the area and they will be checking tonight to see that your car is completely burnt. However it won’t be there because you’ll be on your way back to Vegas. You’ll be out of their hair which will give you time to leave Vegas” he says grabbing my hand

“But what about you Matt? They’ll kill you….” I say as my voice shakes

“Exactly” he says nodding his head

“No….no you can’t do that! Come with me” I say to him looking at him in the eyes

“I can’t…they’ll catch up before we leave and we’ll both be dead instantly. Suzie and I tried it when we were 14. Thought we could leave and be young lovers together. They shot her dead in front of me… told me I’d be next if I ever stepped out of line again. You remind me so much of her I can’t see that happen again” he replied wiping tears from his eyes

“Matthew no…. I can’t leave you to die” I say sobbing

“Maybe it’s been my destiny all along” he says to me

“Maybe you can escape right before they come looking for my car. You’d get a good head start on them! Meet me in Vegas. We can run away together” I say nodding my head and licking my tear stained lips

He chuckled lightly and shook his head, opting not to answer as he stood up.

“I need you to walk outside with me when it’s time. Pretend to mouth me off, kick, scream holler! I’ll stuff you in the car and we’ll be on our way” He says to me

“Okay yeah yeah” I respond nodding my head

“But for now we wait” he states, backing up and leaning against the pole.

About thirty minutes passed before we heard anything. Barely mumbling a few words to each other. My throat had run dry from the anxiety. The fact that I could die if one thing goes wrong but mainly the fact that the last moments I’ll be sharing with Matt is him helping me escape my death that will then become his death….. my heart couldn’t take letting him die

He was destined for more. The way his eyes would light up anytime he asked me about what Vegas is like or what any other place I’ve ever visited was like. What stuck with me the most was the way his face would change when he’d realized the life he was living and what he’d have to go back to. The twinkle always disappearing. It made my heart heavy.

I wouldn’t let him die. It’s not happening and I don’t care what I have to do to prevent it. He’s had such a painful life and he’s going to honor it by dying….

My thoughts were interrupted by Matt, my eyes slowly shifting from the basement window over to his face.

“They called us up, I’m going to grab you by the back of your head and I need to just start lashing out immediately, got it?” He asked me

“Got it” I said to him

Quickly helping me out of the rope that held me to the chair he grabbed the back of my head as my arms were tied behind my back.

Gripping my hair harder I knew it was time to give it my all. Taking a shaky breath I began to yell

“LET GO OF ME, YOU AND THIS TOWN A BUNCH OF CRAZIES” I yelled as I thrashed against his grip

“Quit it” he yelled back as he pulled me up the stairs with him

“You think you can get rid of me huh? MY WHOLE FAMILY WILL COME HERE LOOKING FOR YOU” I said firmly

“LET GO LET GOOO” I kept yelling as I pulled against him, tears streaming down my face

He walked us towards the front door and that’s where Beaufort stopped us.

“Such a fiery little lady! I knew from the moment you called you’d be a problem. But one thing about me is I make my problems go away” he says sucking his tobacco and grinning at me

“You won’t get away with this you sick son of a bitch” I spat at him

“Watch me” he said smiling and opening the front door for me

“NOOO STOP NO PLEASEEE” I yelled as I kicked and thrashed against Matt. My legs swinging as I tried to “escape” his grip

“Should’ve stood in your home town. So sad you’ll be having a little accident” Beaufort says to me as he steps onto my porch

“I’ll kill you all just you watch” I yelled as Matt shoved me into the back seats as I continued to kick and hit things

Beaufort smiled an evil smile as he waved goodbye. Matt hopped in the front seat as we began to back out of my gravel driveway.

Driving down the road Matt looked in his rear view mirror before looking at me

“Okay we’re in the clear” he says to me

Sitting up I looked at him opening my mouth to talk but stopping once I saw him shaking his head no at me.

“You can’t get me to change my mind” he says

“Matt this is not okay. I basically just signed your death wish” I said to him

“And I told you maybe it’s what’s best for me” he replied shrugging his shoulder

“Okay and maybe it isn’t! Maybe it isn’t” I said sternly to him as I began to lose my patience

“Matt we’ve had such an amazing connection this past month, a connection I’ve never had with anyone else before and you can’t just leave me” I said pleading with him

“Don’t you get it? I can’t have them coming after you. I care for you lot sweetheart and if I had to live with another love of mine being hurt I couldn’t live with myself.” He replied gripping the steering wheel harder

I huffedd out a breath of annoyance and sat back in the seat, letting a few tears fall from my face. This is pure insanity! I couldn’t live with myself if Matt got hurt or even killed. I felt confused, one hand I’d be safe but on the other hand Matt would potentially be….. dead.

I hadn’t even realized how long I was in thought until the car came to a halt and I heard Matt put the car in park.

Hopping out of the car I followed suit

“Take the car and run like hell outta here darlin” he said handing the keys to me

“Please come with” I begged as I chewed my bottom lip

“I can’t little lady” he responded shaking his head and wiping his nose

“Ditch your getaway car and come with me burn your car and let’s go, we can run like hell out of here together” I said gripping onto his arms

“I can’t, I have to go back” he says looking me in my eyes

“Can you at least attempt to leave town? Maybe tonight before they come looking for my car, leave before them” I said basically begging

“I can try, but I can’t make any promises darlin” he states swallowing thickly

“Please Matt…. For me” I say wiping my eyes

“The best I can do is try, this is for you. Whether I make it out alive or not just know I want you to be safe and I will always be with you” he says to me pulling me in for a hug

“I can’t thank you enough for all you’ve done” he says to me as he pulls away

“I’m going to miss you” I say to him

“I’m still here” he says smiling at me

I shook my head and hugged him once again

“I better head on back” he says pulling away

Turning on his heels he walks over to his car as I follow behind. Hopping in his car he rolls down his window as I lean on it.

“Now darlin you have to promise me that you’ll listen and you’ll get out of here. Don’t try and save me” he says smiling as he bats tears from his eyes

“I promise” I responded in a whisper

“And you have to promise to never forget about me” I told him as I smiled

“I could never! I swear I’ll try and contact you if I can pretty girl” he says back as he nods his head

“Thank you Matt for getting me out of here” I say one last time

Looking into his eyes I lean over and plant my lips on his. The kiss was needy and sad. It was a goodbye kiss…. A goodbye that meant forever. There was no see you later with Matt….

We hugged and shared one last final kiss. Parting ways I got in my car and we both drove off. I was numb the whole way home. I mean how does one process all of this? My life felt so unreal?

There were many hours of crying, sitting in silence and contemplations of turning back around. I just felt so confused, I didn’t want to leave Matt and I also didn’t want to die…. I didn’t have many options

Arriving home was the most bittersweet moment. I couldn’t really tell anyone what I really went through. What that town and what those people are truly like

I spent many days in and out of therapy really trying to understand what happened to me and how to process it. What really ate at me was the fear of being found, the fear of dying and especially the fear of never seeing Matt again.

One year later

If I knew that that day I hugged and kissed Matt goodbye would be the last time I’d ever see him, I’d hold on tighter. When I finally realized Matt wasn’t coming back it hurt bad… I mean I’d hid away blaming myself for all of this.

Wondering well maybe I didn’t push hard enough because if I did he would’ve caved and came with me. Not knowing if he was dead or alive really ate at my soul. Many days went by where I wanted to call his landline, but that would be a one way ticket to my grave.

It was hard moving. After experiencing something so intense with someone and needing them by your side to never seeing them again will always sting the most.

I was angry because I felt he didn’t try hard enough. Because if he did then he’d be here right now. And then that was filled with sadness and worry. I wasn’t sure if he was okay and I had to live with the fact that I would never know.

It’s so crazy how you’ll be living your life one way and then it flips upside down so randomly.

As I finished typing my chapter on my computer I let out a sigh. Writing a book about what I went through and losing Matt was the only way I could seem to cope.

It was actually Professor Wayne who convinced me to write this. He was actually helping me a lot through all this and he truly saw how it changed me. But everytime he saw the excitement in my eyes once I finished a chapter he knew it was genuinely helping me mentally.

Pressing save I closed my laptop and looked out my window. The rain is pattering against the glass. Such a bittersweet feeling. A year ago today I was about to sleep with my weird neighbor and friend and now I’m here in my empty apartment staring out the glass and reminiscing.

It’s still an open wound that I’m working on daily to stitch close. No one prepares you for traumatic events, especially ones that chemically alter your brain. I watched the rain trickle down the warm glass as I blink slowly. Racking my brain for answers…. I mean hell I’m just looking for one simple answer

I just want to know is Matt truly dead, or is he just

Hidden in the shadows….

The End

Yallll I hope you enjoyed the finale cause I hated it🤭 this is why I don’t write series because I’m so shit at ending things. But anywho I hope you liked it and I can’t wait to write some more for yall 🥹🖤

-J💅🏽

[tang3r1n]

still on my shitty dabi kick and i think i struck a chord with @mostlyheinous so here’s random ass shit i think a deadbeat bf dabi would do

18+, hard dubcon, gaslighting, manipulation, smoking, forced drinking/taking of drugs, dabi purposely makes you have a bad trip on acid, unprotected sex, anal (referenced plus a thumb in the stink) i’ll add more idfk

kay first off, along the smoke vein, dabi would absolutely threaten to put his cigarettes/blunts out on you if you keep crying (openly, he loves watching you cry all quiet n sniffly)

he’s also no doubt changed you around the apartment with bugs/gross shit just to make you squeal and beg him to put it away

“baby it’s jus’lil beetle~” while waving a fucking 4in long roach he found outside in your face, “gimmie a big, sloppy kiss and i might throw Jeffrey away, as much as it pains me to.”

constantly making you exchange physical/sexual acts for practically basic respect

“show me your pretty tits and i’ll let you go hang with those stupid cunts— no i’m not gonna stop callin’em that, they’re dumb cunts.”

loves making you suck him off right after work, still all musky from the day, his cock even more salty from sweating all day (scent/smell kink is my fav im SORRY.) plugging your nose and jutting his hips out harshly to make you gag and cough around his cock, the sinfully wet noise making him groan out a chuckle as he watched you cringe

any and all attempts to change his behavior end with gaslighting and fake hurt plastered on his face as he breaks your fucking back in bed

“ungh- you’re such a fucking good girl f’me.. i love your, pretty, im so sorry you feel the need to accuse me of such things- god squeeze my dick like that again, fuck yeah- i..uh- gonna make you cum so hard, show y’how this noisy cunt ‘sall mine..”

steals your panties and jacks off with them right fucking in front of you, dick swinging and balls out as he strikes himself with your panties pressed against his face. his bright ass blue eyes piercing into you while he noisily huffs in the smell of your pussy and licks up the crotch of them like the perverted degenerate he is

oh and when you try to break it off, setting him down to explain that he is just..too much.. for you, he goes ballistic.

grabbing you by the hair and dragging you to the bedroom, placing you down still surprisingly softly as he ferociously tears off your clothes and starts eating you out like his life depend on it (idk to him it might, he’s a loser)

once he’s got you all whiny and soft after a few mind-shattering orgasms, he’ll start coping and trying to slip you back into the haze of his glaringly obvious manipulative love

“don’t say stupid fucking shit, pretty, jus’cuz y’on your period or what-the-fuck-ever is going on in that lil head don’t mean you can treat me like this.”

hell chastise you while he fingers you, fingers blurred as he finger-fucks you dizzy, fishing his cock outta his dirty jeans and scoffing as you whine and cry again, shuffling up the bed

he pulls you in again by your ankles, a scarred hand quickly silencing you as it softly pressed against your throat, a silent threat, as he spoke patronizing words to your sex and lust filled mind,

“just be my good angel one more time, pretty,” he forces a crack in his voice, flexing his throat so he sounds tearful and sad, “i just..i love you s’much, wanna show my pretty girl, my everything, how much she means t’me,”

the second you nod he’s grinning manically and flipping you over, forcing his cock into your wet cunt and rabidly humping against your ass, dick barely leaving and inch before pumping right back in as deep as it’d fit.

he’d spit on your other puckered lil hole, making your cry and squirm yet again as he pushes his thumb against it, gut burning with lust and a perverted sense of affection

“no- nononono angel- calm it down, i jus’wanna feel your cute ass ‘round me, promise it’ll just be my thumb— yes pretty i pinky promise

(he ends up cumming in your ass i don’t make the rules mb)

other than failed breakups and gaslighting, dabi also likes getting his pretty wasted

like… really wasted.

dabi’ll give you shit after shot, even making you sit pretty for him while he spits Jack Daniels into your awaiting mouth

he spikes literally all drinks he makes you and it’s so obvious but he just tells you it’s to ‘loosen your bitchy ass up,’ but in his own special, joking tone.

cut to you blowing cum bubbles while you suck him off, completely drunk, head dizzy and body fuzzy as he records you almost mindlessly salivating over him.

“say hi to Shigaraki f’me, pretty, little bastard is gonna love seeing you all horned up and slutty~”

he also shotguns his blunt/pipe/bong hits to you—never lets you hit in your own

dabi loves it if you sit on his lap during this too, a rare domestic scene of you both just vibing and grinding, soft praises and touches that feel unreal coming from him

the he ruins it by slapping your ass and making you cook him dinner

wait i had a funny idea hold on

“babe can we please go see my momma today— it’s just that it’s m’birthday and you made me skip it last year..”

“pretty, that bitch hates my ass, why would we go see someone who hates us?” (notice he says ‘us’ anyways)

[cut to momma glaring at dabi the entire time they’re over and throwing shoes at him once he opens his fucking mouth]

kay that’s all for now ig

wait

sometimes when you’re falling asleep you can hear him obsessively rambling and mumbling abt how much he loves you, how disgusting everyone else alive is, how he’d kill anyone who dared talk to-LOOK at you, how he thinks you’re such a soft, beautiful little thing that he just wants to protect but oh how he fucking loves ruining your angel wings.

[winterwallacehenderson]

SEVENTEEN members as songs from ttpd (from the first drop)

s.coups- i can do it with a broken heart

starting off slightly sad but he’s a real tough kid and he can definitely handle anything.

i think I saw an edit of him somewhere to this and cried

i’m seriously so proud of him always

taylor did write this for all the eldest daughters/ siblings

just super coups coded

jeonghan- fortnight ft. post malone

“your wife waters flowers i want to kill her” peak jeonghan vibes. he would commit a crime for funsies <3

also “i love you, it’s ruining my life” because man did he def ruin my life

tell me one jeonghan fan who’s mentally stable, we’re all a little crazy (myself included)

insanity and everything packed in one fr

joshua- fresh out the slammer

HE IS THE PRETTIEST BABY EVER OKAY

i too would go to jail for him

i’d also never lose my baby again

honestly him and jeonghan are both interchangeable, they’re both pretty and insane

OH! and i’d also disappear for a glimpse of his smile like fr fr my joshy :((((

jun- the tortured poets department

who’s gonna know him and love him if not me??

we’re also modern idiots and slightly crazy

OH! also the bridge is so junnie coded like honestly anything he does makes me feel like my heart will explode so

junnie is everything in this song minus the tats and drugs he's my precious boy <3

hoshi- but daddy i love him

the way i’d actually scream this song for him

also the vibes are so hoshi like im 90% sure he’d vibe with this song so hard

especially when she says "im having his baby no im not" he's ijboling right then and there

idk man it’s just so hoshi and i would definitely fight my dad for him

wonwoo- loml

he is actually so loml coded

like soft, played in a piano kind vibes

especially nana tour wonu

just very soft

he’s the love of my life and loss of my life as well because there’s actually no man that’s ever gonna be like him, ruined men for me

woozi- down bad

are we like actually surprised tho? that's my fav song and he is my fav boy

this man is literally so down bad coded

i’ve been singing and thinking of him like fuck it if I can’t have him, but i will definitely die not like tis gonna make a difference

IM LIKE SO IN LOVE WITH HIM OH MY GOD

also crying at the gym = lee jihoon (in reference to that one t-shirt he wore during caratland 2023)

minghao- so long, london

not the lyrical but mostly the vibes

this song is kinda calming to me in a way and it feels so hao like

also it reminds me hai cheng in a way maybe because of all the ship metaphors

i also feel like he’s appreciated the sadness in this song

he has that certain same whimsy as this song

mingyu- guilty as sin?

GUILTY AS SIN IS HIS SONG OKAY?!?!?

I WILL CHOOSE HIM AND ME RELIGIOUSLY ANYDAY

physically feeling sick how that bridge is literally so mingyu coded like holy fuck like gonna crucify me anyways? the way you hold me is actually what's holy??? its literally him

truly the best way to die is loving him

okay i’ll stop here before I die, he is just so <3

dokyeom- who’s afraid of little old me?

simply because he is such a nice person and such a lovely soul i worry people might take him for granted

the industry does not give him enough credit for him vocals like they should be scared of him he can eat up any vocalist in seconds

like they should be afraid of him that he's so goofy and silly

also the musical vibes here truly a kyeomie song

seungkwan- the alchemy

ALL THOSE SPORTS REFERENCE ARE FOR HIM!!!

my babiest boy ever

“where’s the trophy? he just comes running over to me” I CANNOT PUT ENOUGH EMPHASIS HOW SEUNGKWAN THIS IS

my heart will truly always be reserved for him

also he did make the strongest comeback fr

vernon- florida!!!

honestly, vernon’s favourite song here would be florida like fr

it’s just so vernon

he’d like eat up the featured and the beat right when she screams florida!!!!

13/10 would plan a trip to florida and brag how he's been to two places wtny and florida

the vibes are just so vernon fr idk what else to say

dino- clara bow

future of kpop, need I say more?

he’s like all the past legends but more better?

kinda like how she talks about it in the song, with the next being slightly better than the previous and yk what they've been through and stuff

and how dino is also called the future of kpop because he's so amazing

“the future’s bright, dazzling” so real like that’s literally about the future of kpop

anyways that's my take <33 I might do a part 2 with the second drop songs (no promises!!)

you can also find this thread on my twt here.

[lambiewrites]

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Camping w/ Saw Characters

Characters included: John Kramer, Amanda Young, Mark Hoffman, Lawrence Gordon, Adam Stanheight. Plus, me and Y/N (because I said so)

Warnings: none, except mentions of smoking, getting hurt?? Idk

Notes: Reader is gender neutral and everything is platonic. Even our relationships with each character (unless otherwise stated in other fics I may write)

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John Kramer: I personally feel like John really enjoys the outdoors and seeing as though we see him chilling on a park bench, sketching his traps 24/7, I feel like he’d really enjoy it. Loves the peacefulness except when everyone (Amanda and Mark) are fighting. Definitely fishing at 7am. Struggling because he may or may not have to sleep on the ground. We definitely bought peepaw as many blankets and sleeping bags as possible. He gets cold so easily, bless his heart. Wants to enjoy the hiking trails but, can’t because he’s either in his wheelchair at this point or it’s just a struggle for him in general. (Mad at me because I complained about my knee the entire time even though I’m perfectly fine.) definitely giving Y/N a lesson on the outdoors.

Lawerence Gordon: Didn’t really want to come but he was sorta forced to. Definitely the group’s medic. Lecturing everyone on where they should and shouldn’t step. Pissed because Adam keeps smoking even in the non smoking areas like the woods where there’s been really bad wildfires. Adam does not care though. Dr.Gordon helped pitch everyone’s tent and tried to tell me and Y/N how we could easily pitch our tents but we didn’t listen. He actively carries the first aid kit literally everywhere. This man also had to pull me out of the fishing creek because I slipped on some rocks and nearly fell in. (He and Adam are sharing a tent shhhh ❤️)

Amanda Young: A little less than thrilled to be here. It’s cold and wet. Plus she had better things to do. Constantly at John’s side making sure he’s not too cold and that he’s enjoying himself. Pitched her own tent and probably is sleeping in it by herself unless Y/N wants to share it. Stays up all night worrying about peepaw and maybe other campers (or bears) Definitely one to tell the darkest, scariest, goriest story at the campfire. Is she fighting with Mark the entire time? Oh yeah probably. Is she yelling at me the entire time? Yes. Is Y/N telling her about their nature knowledge (if that’s your hyperfixations) Yes. Amanda definitely wants to go home but she’s sticking it out for peepaw.

Mark Hoffman: (My favorite camping headcannon to write lmao) Complaining about pitching the tents because no one else can apparently. Honestly would rather die than be out here but, he’s making the most of it. Yes, we do have his ass grilling, why wouldn’t we? It’s his job now. Did we make him make the fire? We did actually. Watched me fall off the rocks and into the creek and did not care. Thought it was funny, wished I had drown. Y/N is the only one who he isn’t mad at (congratulations!). Yet. Secretly enjoys the camping but won’t say anything about it. Probably sleeping in a tent by himself. (Maybe Y/N is sharing it with him?) I have decided that this man physically cannot stand me and that’s okay.

Adam Stanheight: This man has been chain smoking since we got here. Obviously taking as many pictures as he physically can. OF EVERYTHING!!! Tried to help Lawerence set up the tent but got bored. Almost started a forest fire but felt instantly bad. Definitely got a lecture from it. Sits at the fire and makes s’mores. Watched me burn myself trying to roast marshmallows and laughed at me (I deserved it, trust me). Loves the outdoors actually and he’s thrilled to be there. Like a little squirrel running around with his camera ❤️😭✌🏻 Y/N is forcing him to take cute little selfies of them with trees and mountains. We’re hanging up the Polaroids all over the place. We’re gonna look so aesthetic, trust me xoxo

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Notes: This was quickly made and probably shitty but, just bare with me lol this is my first one and I love it. I think it’s funny. A lot of this was pulled from my actual camping trip at the beginning of the month. I hope y’all enjoyed and feel free to request stuff! I love you guys!

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[ghostiiess]

[NSB HEADCANONS] - you cut yourself while cooking

pov: the title says everything!

warnings: cutting ourselves, mention of blood (not much, but still a little bit), mention of pain, cooking knifes, knife cut, mention of kitchen knifes (idk if it’s a warning, but i wrote it there anyways, just in case), some swears, petnames…

type: comfort

members: ryan nguyen (azngami)

REBLOGS AND LIKES ARE VERY APPRECIATED! IT HELPS A TON!

It was a friday night

And what usually happen during Friday night? Dates.

And what kind of dates do you have if your boyfriend is called ryan Nguyen? GAMING DATE OFC!! 🥳🥳

Nah but for real, i imagine he would do gaming dates with you… how cute?

But for yo guys, it was starting to get a bit… tiring?

Since you both wanted to have more… special date (if i can say it like that), you both decided to put ideas in a bowl with different places and activities

That way, you wouldn’t have 60 gaming dates 💀

(The rest under the cut!)

Don’t get me wrong, gaming dates are cute and nice, but sometimes, it’s also fun to go outside, you know? 😆

You loved that idea

I mean, Ryan did too

This week, you picked the date.

How lucky were you to read the following activity: ‘cooking a meal together while listening to music’

Great, isn’t it?

So, you both decided to do some sushi, because why not? (I’m referring to their nsb sushi cooking video if you didn’t know 😏)

Ofc to make sushi, you need vegetables, some avocados, some cucumber… in short, anything you want in your sushi

Which mean, you need to cut vegetables!!

You guys knows where I’m going 💀

While you were cutting the vegetables, you felt blood on your hand

And also pain.

So, like every normal humans who hurt themselves or feel blood rolling down, you tried to find where the pain was on your hand

You were going to tell Ryan, but… he saw it coming.

“Shit, are you okay?”

“Baby, idc about the sushi, there’s blood… did you cut yourself with the knife?”

He would be so upset :(

But not about you!! Just upset, like he’s sad it happened :/

He hate seeing you hurt

It make him feel so sad and so bad? Even though it’s not his fault?

“I know it stain baby, i know..”

“So sorry it happened to you, angel..”

“You got this, don’t worry, okay? We’ll go clean your hand first, alright?”

During he was cleaning your wound, he was not okay

Your little reactions when he was cleaning your hand with soap, was killing him.

“Breathe baby, we’re almost done, i promise”

“You are doing so good”

“ i know it stink, babe.. but we have to clean it first, okay? Otherwise, i might not heal correctly”

He would give you hugs and kisses after it

Yes, star! you heard me.

HUGS.

AND KISSES.

Ryan Nguyen??? Hugs??? Kisses??? physical attention?

Babe, he loves it.

Only when it’s with the right people, of course! 😇 so consider yourself lucky bc even his brothers (nsb members) do not get this chance like you do!! (I am kidding, don’t worry. Seb get this attention too!! 🥰)

“Did so good”

“Be careful next time?”

Now, you may think it’s all positive and all cutie cutie, but let me be real for a second.

he would make fun of you

Like… Just a tiny very little tiny bit of teasing

“You are so clumsy, istg…”

“What am i going to do with you?”

“At least, you didn’t put blood in our sushi..”

« bloody sushi are NOT my favorite.. »

Don’t take these to heart

He’s only kidding :))

He just love teasing you

Also, he would be the cutest sweetest boyfriend

i say that to like every nsb members, but like they are all boyfriends material so…

Anyways

“Ruined the date? Babe… you didn’t ruin anything”

“ accidents happen… i mean, yeah for sure, i would have prefered to avoid it since, like, i hate to see you hurt, but you didn’t ruin anything”

“It’s not your fault, why are you blaming yourself? It was an accident!”

“ stfu and accept that it wasn’t your fault??? Bro, istg-”

After, he cleaned your hand, patched you up and gave you a little kiss, he’d smile

“ there… a little kiss, so it’ll heal faster”

“Wdym it doesn’t work like that? Miss, don’t doubt my abilities”

“ don’t make me regret me patching you up. Stop making fun of my ways to take care of you” 💀

No bc when people kiss your wound 🫢 isn’t that so sweet and cute?

Or is it me who’s like really love-deprived and every movements someone do to me, I’m like « omg, cuteee » 💀 lmao, probably me

he would literally tell you to stop cooking

You hurt yourself and he doesn’t want you to get even more hurt

You got to be careful, babe <3

He would give you side eye if you try to cook with him

“I’ll cut the vegetables, alright? Go dress the table, baby”

“I know you want to cook with me, but you already cut yourself… i want to eat sushi, not your fingers” (i am saying this in the totally most innocent way, i promise)

“ i know you can do it, but i want to make sure you don’t cut yourself again…”

“ do i have to remind you that you cut yourself 3 other time since our last cooking date, which was not even 4 days ago… and it was take-out 💀”

please be careful 😭

But if you reallyyyy want to cook….

He’ll give you a back hug and put his hands on yours while you are cutting the vegetables (or any food)

“Slower, baby… you’re going way too fast”

“ slow down… i don’t want you to get hurt again”

To finish this hc, Ryan would be super sweet (like if he wasn’t in the every day life 🙄) and really comforting

Vote ryan for the best bf of the year, yay!

taglist! (Open! Send an ask to be in it!) : @nsb-rkive @kentisbaby @firebenderwolf @hyuneee0 @yawnzzznnn @ghostyycat7

Bold can’t be tagged.

Sorry for the little late, was busy with school and my job!

REBLOGS AND LIKES ARE VERY APPRECIATED! IT HELPS ME A TON!

[a-humble-bagel]

i could be wrong, but i’m pretty sure that “Wednesday” is the first form of The Addams Family that isn’t satire (I haven’t seen the 2019 and 2021 movies and idk if I ever will).

This just leads to some interesting new perspectives because now a lot of people are trying to rationalize/moralize some of Wednesday’s actions which is interesting because no one’s ever had to do that before. 

I think the lack of satire also makes some of the Addams’ actions in the show a little confusing, like how they seem to love all things dark and murderous but then when Gomez gets accused of murder they act as though it’s a terrible thing (I know this can be rationalized by saying that they were scared of the consequences he’d face, but honestly it would’ve been nice if it didn’t have to be rationalized in the first place). 

The thing with satire is that their actions never had to be rationalized because it was funny. Sure, it was dark humour, but you could tell that it was a joke. It was obvious that the point of those dark jokes was to entertain, and those weren’t the morals the story was preaching. Take this scene in “The Addams Family Values” for example where Wednesday sets Amanda on fire: 

It’s obvious that the movie isn’t telling you “set the people who bully you on fire”, because it’s obviously satire. To find the actual message, you have to look deeper into the dark campiness to find the heart of what the story is about. Satires are exaggerations of real life problems, and The Addams Family looks at the flaws within the “ideal American family”. This scene is telling the audience to stand up to bullies, that adults can be blind and part of the problem, not to bully outcasts/people who seem weird, that history is often sanitized, and that colonialism is bad. It’s also a badass moment that feels great because Wednesday and the other “weird” kids are finally getting revenge on a bunch of rude and horrible people.

Now compare that to the scene in “Wednesday” where Wednesday tortures Tyler. True, the scenes take place in very different contexts. Tyler is someone who has physically hurt people, including Wednesday’s friend, so it’s more personal. In this scene, it isn’t just justice she’s after, it’s cold-hearted vengeance (that may be mixed with some feelings of being hurt).. With Amanda, it’s more lighthearted as Amanda never killed anyone. Nevertheless, in both scenes, Wednesday gets violent revenge on someone who’s wronged her, but the message in the TV show is that torture is bad. The Nightshades turn their backs on Wednesday, and she faces consequences for her actions. And that brings me to my next point: consequences.

In “Wednesday”, The Addams family has to face actual legal consequences. In the 90s movies, they only had to face social consequences. Even though they did all those horrifying terrible things, the only repercussions they got were disdain and annoyance from the other characters, which isn’t much of a repercussion. Even in “The Addams Family” when Tully throws them out of their house, the police are never involved, and the thought of the Addams’ going to jail doesn’t even cross the audience’s mind. This is partly what allows them to wholeheartedly engage in macabre and murderous things: the narrative doesn’t punish them for it, and they never face serious consequences. 

After all, if the Addams’ in the 90s movies faced serious consequences, the narrative wouldn’t go anywhere. If the storyline allowed the Addams’ to be arrested, then the judge at the start likely would’ve called the police when Gomez kept hitting golf balls through his window. Gomez would’ve been arrested, and the story couldn’t progress. As a satire, the 90s movies require there to be a lack of police in order to convey the messages of the films. That way, the Addams’ can do all of their usual spooky and dangerous things, which convey the deeper lessons of the story. However, “Wednesday” took away the satire and added in the police.

From the start, the Addams’ are treated as not “ordinary” people, but they no longer exist outside of the law. This is shown in the very first episode, when Wednesday puts the piranhas in the pool. Morticia later mentions that “the boy’s father wanted to press attempted murder charges”. That is a huge difference from the 90s movies. If this was a scene in one of the 90s movies, Wednesday likely would’ve still been expelled, but it would’ve been something she was smugly satisfied about, and there would be no the threat of legal actions. 

In other words, the previous versions of The Addams Family were all treated as satire characters, which allowed them to get away with things that they wouldn’t be able to do in the real world (playing with death/dangerous activities/torture) without the narrative punishing them for it, and without them facing real consequences. Satires require exaggeration, so extremes had to be allowed. However, “Wednesday” treated The Addams’ as regular characters, and had them face consequences like being arrested and jail. This makes it feel like they’re all bark and no bite: it seems like they talk about death and violence but deep down, they abhor it.

This is what made Gomez’s arrest seem somewhat contradictory. The Addams talk so much about how they love death, so why did Wednesday and Morticia have to go to such lengths to prove that he didn’t kill anyone? And Wednesday’s comment at the end of the episode about how she knows Gomez couldn’t really kill anyone just reinforces the idea that the Addams’ are all bark and no bite.

 Besides, whether or not the Addams’ themselves actually disapproved of Gomez murdering someone, the narrative disapproved of it. The story punishes Gomez for potentially being a murderer, just like it punishes Wednesday for torturing Tyler. Since the Addams’ aren’t satire characters in this interpretation, it can’t allow them to go to the same extremes as satire characters, it has to punish them, otherwise it would convey the message “torture and murder are good”.

This isn’t a criticization of how the show interpreted the Addams’, it’s just a neat thing I started thinking about and then decided to write out. 

tldr: The Addams’ aren’t satire in “Wednesday”, so while they still have the same values/talk the same way as their 90s movie counterparts, the narrative has to have them face serious consequences so it doesn’t convey the wrong message.

[dani-ya-dig]

Ok now that I’m fully awake. It’s time try and organize my thoughts on that audio oh my god.

Also trigger warning for mentions of suicide under the cut

That’s actually the first thing I wanna talk about, and is the only gripe I have with the entire video. Why the fuck wasn’t mentions of suicide tagged in the description??

Like I understand the concept wasn’t dwelled on and Sam didn’t outright say “I’m gonna fucking kill myself” but he PRETTY EXPLICITLY talked about how he planned to commit suicide even if he didn’t say those words. idk “chosen morality” doesn’t seem like the right warning for that? I’m not gonna complain abt it like too much, I just was a little confused on why it wasn’t tagged.

But anyways onto my jumbled up thoughts about the actual audio! Because as a member of the Sam Collins fandom, I have thoughttsssssss!!

THIS AUDIO MADE ME SOB! I couldn’t sleep because of how sad I was over it. Sam and Darlin need to be happy just for fucking ONCE, god give them a BREAKKKKKK.

The idea of them just silently holding each other on their roof with the night sky above them, a few tears probably falling from both of them. IM DUHXSJDIJFDJFHFHJ

AND MOTHERFUCKER THE VIDEO ENDING ON “Brown. My eyes were brown” I FELL TO THE FLOOR SHUT THE FUCK UP!

On a happier note about that, I KNEW Sam’s eyes were brown. I feel like almost everyone did tbh. I’ll tell you what gave it away though, the gentle way he says “please” to Darlin in some of his audios. Automatically gave it away that he would have had the biggest brown puppy dog eyes you have ever seen in your life. I’m physically sick over it, it’s not even funny.

Now back to the thing I desperately don’t wanna think about. Sam telling Darlin that he wasn’t planning on living forever.

That’s where the dam broke for me, I started bawling. It totally makes sense, I get it and I can’t say that it’s not a choice that makes sense given that Sam never wanted to be a vampire in the first place.

Do y’all think that he was planning to watch the sunrise on his roof? Because that was my first thought and it hurt real bad. Sam finally getting to feel the sunlight after so many years of having been deprived of it, only to be ash when the sun was fully in the sky.

Also I know damn well he probably would have done it after Darlin died and that’s what hurts so bad. If Darlin chose to be a vampire I think he would happily spend however long their eternity would be by their side, but once they were gone he probably wouldn’t feel a reason to stay. Especially because if Darlin turned into a vampire the two of them probably would have completely pulled away from all mortals before that would happen.

On that note, I don’t think Darlin is gonna want to be turned. I never really thought they would, unless they were under very specific circumstances. Sam telling them to spend time in their wolf form and with their pack before deciding solidified that for me 100%. I don’t think they would be able to lose their wolf which we know is a pretty big part of shifters, talking from Milo’s audio where he breaks down worried he was never going to be able to shift again. I don’t think they would be okay with the idea of watching their friends, and their family all start to wither away and eventually die while they remain.

Now, do I think Darlin is going to want to be turned? No. Do I think the dynamic of Darlin choosing to remain mortal opens a lot of really good angst possibilities? Yes. Do I fully trust Erik to not turn them anyways? Not really no.

If I had to put a bet in for how it would happen if Darlin got turned, it would be by Quinn. Quinn would find out or catch wind of the fact that they chose not to be turned (if he didn’t already know they would chose that) and turn them anyways just to hurt them.

(I think Alexis turning them is an interesting idea to think about, from any angle but I highly doubt that’s gonna happen lmao)

All in all I genuinely think that was the only audio that has affected me that much (aside from maybe listening to the inversion for the first time??)

[crazilust]

Astro notes (3)

Hello, I’m back with a third astro notes. Please disregard anything that doesn’t make you feel good, remember these are just personal observations <3

———————————

* Virgos really are a mess. They will do their best to keep the organized, put together persona, but the mess they’re going through behind closed doors is actually so intense. Whenever I get close to a Virgo, I’m a little shook tbh.

* Kinda unrelated to my normal content, but I really wonder how Dream (the youtuber) is handling the constant attacks to his physical appearance being a Leo and such. He kinda seems unfazed and keeps posting pics of him and videos, but idk. I’m curious how he’s handling it privately.

* I really do love me a fire x earth sign combo. Wether it’s friendship or relationship, I find them so energetic and chaotic lmao. Now, I’m gonna be honest I do think as a friendship, it works better. I also think each person has to have a varied chart in order to work. Someone with too much earth won’t really tolerate the intensity of the fire sign, and vice versa.

* Aries are not only trend setters, most of the time they are the ones to break generational traumas, mindset or traditions. They really, truly, do not give a fuck about what’s been done in the past or “what’s the right way to do this”. Lady Gaga, I believe, is the personification of that. On a personal level, it can definitely get annoying to deal with an Aries, but once you understand that they act that way because they’re trying to better themselves and by extension the world around them, it gets easier.

* Capricorns really fascinate me. I know the stereotypes around Caps is that they’re hardworking, focused on money, overly serious etc. I think part of it is true, but I think it depends on when you do meet them. If it’s before their Saturn return, you might actually meet a version of them that is actually struggling, quite immature, bad with money and overall disorganized. Remember, Saturn is severe and harsh. He doesn’t make it easy for its natives and I think it kind of explains why in the beginning of their lives, Caps are so all over the place. They get it together at one point though, and some become the stereotypical Capricorn.

* Also, on Capricorn, I’ve noticed they don’t really like when people mention their past selves. I mean, no one does, but with Caps it seems even more severe. It’s like they’re trying their hardest to dissociate from that past self that didn’t meet their ideals. I know a lot of Capricorn that even go by different names than their younger self. Crazy.

* Each element has their strength. Fire signs, it’s their will. Air signs, their intellect. Water signs, their emotions. Earth signs, their consistency. In the same vein, that same strength can quickly turn into their worst flaw. Fire signs can get really egotistical when trying to reach their goals. Air signs have a tendency to be condescending and mock others for their emotional reactions. Water signs can use emotional manipulation tactics to get what they want. Earth signs can get often stuck in their ways, no matter how toxic or unhealthy it may be.

* Cancer in 12th makes you despise your emotions, even when you rationally know that “it’s okay to feel that way”. Most often than not, they project that hatred/disdain towards other people and can’t tolerate really emotional people.

* We have to stop thinking that only earth signs and the sign of Leo is an indicator of fame. Sure, they can be indicator, but I do believe that we disregard the many types and layers of fame. Also, the way celebrities will interact with their fanbase and how they’re remembered is important. I truly believe every sign can be famous, but it won’t manifest the same. Is it easier for some signs? Sure. But every sign, using their strength could achieve it.

* Talking about fame. If you really want to achieve it, I think it’d be interesting to use your MC, North node, Mercury, Venus and Rising sign to achieve it. By checking in with your Moon sign needs, you could then regulate the right path for you. Some people truly don’t mind using drama to create traction even if it means hate, while some people could not tolerate it. Anyways, I’ll do a whole other post about it.

———-——————-—————————-

So yea! That’s my comeback y’all. Lmao I’m sorry, life’s been rough. That last retrograde tried to take me outtttt, I swear.

Dolly.

[thefinalcinderella]

Tsurune Book 3 Afterword

Full list of translations here

Time for my unsolicited book review!

Tsurune Book 3 is one of the books of all time.

I'm not trying to be funny, that is my true opinion about this book.

I've said before that it feels like the author was forced to write this book in a hurry, and after finishing it, I can only say that those feelings have only grown stronger. I think the author was going for an abstract and spiritual feeling but it didn't really work out. It only made the story hard to follow, and the tendency for the novel to jump from topic to topic seemingly at random didn't help. It's probably super obvious in the author's head, but that doesn't matter if the reader can't follow their thinking. I really do question what the editors are doing because I'm not sure if they're giving the author proper feedback.

The novel also suffers from trying to do a lot but not doing any of it satisfactorily. It introduced a lot of new characters and plot points but never really did anything with them?? The new first-years faded out of the story after the beginning and idek what's going on with Kuon. As for the new school Haneina...the author just gave them one """quirky""" trait each and called it a day. It kinda happened with Tsujimine too but it was more subtle with them, and I think the central relationship of Nikaidou and Fuwa was compelling and well-written. Asahina and Eddie, on the other hand, are just really weird?? I honestly don't understand what their narrative role is supposed to be??

This might be a controversial opinion but I feel like the anime tells a more coherent, polished version of the story. I was rewatching it the other day and I was kind of blown away by how the visual quality improved between the seasons. S1 was definitely not bad looking but S2 is just *chef's kiss*. Idk if there's going be an S3 but it will be interesting to see how (or if) they adapt book 3

Anyways i don't want to say that book 3 is kinda pointless since it did give us some reveals (perhaps unnecessarily) but on the other hand...i feel like book 2 had a nice ending for the series as a whole as well? idk. if there is going to be a book 4, i hope it will be all about Kazemai hunting down Masa-san's bio dad

Thanks for following along with me! I know I've been really slow with this so im glad people are still interested haha

Previous |

This happened when I was reading a certain foreign novel’s translated version. As I was reading through the point of view of a character whose first-person pronoun was “私” (watashi), I came across a surprising description. To my surprise, the character I thought was a woman suddenly started to shave their beard. Later, I learned that there was an unspoken rule that men used “watashi” written in kanji, and women used “watashi” written in katakana.

Minato’s personal pronoun is “ore” in hiragana. It encompasses the meaning of “undifferentiated,” someone of unknown gender who is neither male or female, although his physical body is that of a boy. Nanao’s pronoun is “ore” written in katakana, a person of unknown nationality who can’t be classified as either Japanese or foreign, a person who wavers between the two, a hybrid existence that crosses that line. Takigawa Masaki is also someone who hovers between “human” and “not human,” so his name is written as “Masa-san” (マサさん) in the text. Shuu is also a character who is in between.

I’m attracted to such “fluctuating” and “swaying” things. Things that can’t fixed or distinguished in form or state, as changeable as “water.” Kaleidoscopic freedom and loneliness are two sides of the same coin. People who fluctuate cannot stay in one place, and instability follows. Because they can’t be classified, they do not belong anywhere, nor can they be emphasized with. I wanted to somehow hold back those who can’t stop walking. I wrote this story because I wanted them by my side.

Changing the topic, I was on my way home from a domestic trip. After spending a relaxing time listening to the chirping of birds on an isolated island, I heard a large explosion sound when I got off at a certain station in Tokyo. The warning signal of a train entering the station continued to sound, and announcements reverberated from all over. I forgot to bring my earphones, so I was unable to plug my ears and ran all the way to the edge of the platform. Glowing neon lights reflected diffusely, and the words on billboards and other signs crowded in my field of vision like a herd of horses. I almost thought that I had time travelled back to wartime. We had become so accustomed to the flood of sound, light, and text that we don’t realize we’re on the verge of drowning.

Tsurune is the story of masters and disciples and bow friends with the theme of rebirth, and it began as the story of seven archers. The theme of Volume 3 is “Meigen, that is the sound of the dawn,” and I wrote about shari kenshou (seeing true nature through the shot).

I would like to express my sincere gratitude to everyone involved in the making of this book: Koyama Kyugu-sama, who I’ve interviewed, T-sama of the KA Esuma Bunko Editorial Department, Kyoto Animation-sama who was in charge of illustrations, the proofreaders, the novel’s official website, the printing company, and the distributors. The letters I’ve received are my treasures, and I have displayed them in my tokonoma alcove. I would like to thank my beloved kyudo teachers and bow friends, my precious friends, and my supportive family.

Last but not least, I would like to express my deepest gratitude to all the readers who have read this far.

I hope for the day when the beautiful tsurune of the archers will resound.

Ayano Kotoko

Spring 2022

Previous |

[middlenamesage]

Sometimes I feel like an impostor Cancer because I’m just not drawn to caretaking/nurturing and don’t think I ever much have been. Sure, I’ve always liked animals, but the thing is, taking care of them just feels like WORK to me. I love my cats but there’s a good chance I won’t get more when they die because even with the new “automatic” litter box they still cause me more stress than most things in my daily life. Maybe it’s my intercepted 6th house- idk but it is true that I wasn’t properly shown how to be of service to others (or how to nurture others) in my youth.

Also though, mentioning the 6th house makes me think about how it might actually be the Virgo archetype that is the true biggest caretaker in the zodiac- as it relates to physical acts of service at least. Cancer relates more to emotional nurturance- which I also feel like I lack in being able to provide for others, but probably that’s because I still have a ways to go in learning how to nurture myself.

SOME CANCER TRAITS I DO RELATE TO: (even though I just wanna mention that I see the signs as less about personality traits and more about functions we’ve come here to learn or refine)

- How VERY self-protective I am (and Idk why this isn’t always one of the first things mentioned with ♋️ when you think of a crab and its shell). I’m very quick to put up walls. 🤷‍♀️ (it’s not 100% a bad thing though)

- My great memory especially for things about other people or sentiments they once shared with me. (I see this as especially a Cancer Mercury thing)

- My tendency to live in the past in general (way more than the future, but it’s the present I’m probably most engrossed in, at least emotionally). You can tell I only have my North Node in Aquarius cuz the future is a blind spot for me. 😔

- For all practical purposes, I am a major homebody. I might not be this way as much if my mental health was better, and also there’s a part of me that can find my home to be like a prison at times because there are always chores I have to do inside of it. Regardless, I don’t think I would do well without a homebase to return to at all times- both in an external and internal sense. I definitely don’t ever see myself being a wandering nomad in this lifetime. 😂

- I think I was ESPECIALLY sensitive to the dynamics of my family and mother, and I see it to be this way for most Cancers. The stereotype of Cancer being a momma’s boy/girl is definitely not always true, but the concept of a Cancer being especially sensitive to their family dynamics, particularly their relationship with the nurturing parent figure, I think is often true. This means that if you’re having a Cancer, you actually might have to be MORE careful with them than with another child to not give them reasons to resent you. 😉

- My emotions tend to inform my personal philosophies and decisions because I just can’t help but to place SO much importance on whatever emotion it is I’m currently feeling. I get so swept up in whatever emotion it is I’m feeling that once I’m no longer feeling it in the moment, I may actually forget what it was like to ever feel that emotion.

- I think I can be very persuasive (although most would probably not admit if I persuaded them to think a certain way) and this might be because without consciously trying, I know how to speak to peoples’ emotions.

- If you just take the somewhat flawed Cancer stereotypes out of the picture and focus on the ruler of Cancer, the Moon, well I relate to the Moon a TON. She is the master of quiet persuasion, influencing so much of what happens on earth, but she does her thing when there are less people out to notice her. I myself have been drawn to a nocturnal schedule most of my life.

The Moon is definitely more wild than she is domesticated in my opinion (although she does stick to a cycle, but astrologically speaking, the other planets always shifting means her journey each month is never quite the same). The Moon allows us to feel what is going on with the other planets, so in this way I can see why Cancer relates to support. But a Cancer’s support is not always obvious, sometimes it looks like being the reflection that gets another person to see something in themselves they didn’t want to see.

Also, people don’t seem to be thinking enough about what a crab is like when they think of Cancer. 🦀 So I figure that I’m actually just one of many Cancers who has a hard time relating to all the most well known Cancer stereotypes.

Hopefully this testimony has helped another Cancer out there to feel more understood. ♥️

[gimmehyuck]

reckless heroism | l.dh

summary. you've kept your secret for all of six months, mostly to keep your friends - him - safe. when he finds out, it puts your skills of truly wanting to keep him safe to the test.

or in other words, he's your mary jane. the damsel in distress. and he may or may not be happy about it.

pairing. protective med student!hyuck x spiderwoman!yn, feat. nomin

words. roughly 10.3k~ish

genre. friends to lovers, angst, general fluff, serious mutual pining, seriously, they know they like each other and so does everyone else, some action? idk i wrote this after obsessing over the latest spiderman movie it just took me a century to post it, technically two kiss scenes.

warnings. a bi jaehyun is a Very Bad Guy™, like a bit unhinged and does not nice things. you have been warned. also mentions of blood, injuries, guns, things blow up etc. it's an action based au, whatever else comes from that. also i know nothing about med school, sorry.

p.s. i use an -almost- direct line from tom holland's spiderman... see if you can spot it... hehe

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

donghyuck wasn’t sure how he ended up in this position.

categorizing his injuries quickly like his training taught is what helped him stay grounded. his ribs felt as if they had taken a severe beating, and his head was throbbing.

probably a concussion.

his eyes burned from the blood that leaked down his face into them from a gash he got earlier, facial wounds always bled worse he reminded himself. he was nauseous but he assumed that was from the overwhelming smell of smoke from the explosion that destroyed half the building.

he brought his hand up to cradle his head, his ears were ringing so loudly. and they just kept ringing, and ringing, and ringing, and…

“hyuck, please! focus!” he finally heard the yelling over the sound of sirens going off in his head.

he blinked once, twice, trying to get his eyes to lock in and focus; he searched around to try and find the sound of the voice that had yelled for him.

his blurry vision tried to clear but it went in and out in intervals. with the moments spent in focus, he saw you, standing over him, shouldering a very heavy looking slab of concrete, arms shaking from the weight.

“hey, hyuck, are you with me now?” you groaned, face screwing in exertion.

he noticed your suit was torn in places, your mask long since forgotten, dust and debris littered your face and hair. you were bleeding from cuts on your face and even though he could see you physically shaking from trying to hold up the weight, he saw you sigh in annoyance at him.

“hyuck!” you yelled this time, frustration lining your voice.

“yeah,” he croaked out, his voice coming out gravelly.

“yeah, i’m here now.” he squinted up at you, watching as your frustration ebbed away and you smiled.

even in all this, you still smiled at him. and that’s when everything came back in a flood, and he realized…

maybe this was his fault after all.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

donghyuck was playing his game loudly on his PC, rapidly clicking his mouse and yelling through his headset.

“jaemin, no, no, dammit! now i’m dead because you – jeno, don’t yell at me for yelling at your boyfriend, i just died!” donghyuck whined dramatically into the mic, and he jumped a little when he heard his door open and click shut.

“hyuck,” he heard your familiar voice calling softly from across the room. since he was dead anyways, he swiveled around in his chair, a smile already working its way on his face, but the moment he saw you, he froze.

his brain took a moment to process what he saw and even then, it still didn’t make any sense. his mouth opened and shut rapidly, trying to form any semblance of a thought, any attempt of words but eventually he landed on just your name.

“y/n is there? turn on your camera so we can say hey!” he heard jisung say through the headset. you seemed to have heard jisung and you rapidly shook your head no, putting a gloved finger to your lips. you made a motion pointing at his headset and made a slicing motion across your throat. when he didn’t move a muscle, you repeated the motion more frantically, eyes almost seeming to panic. putting your hands together in a plea, then repeating the charades of telling him to turn off the game.

finally he acted, clearing his throat before saying, “no, y/n isn’t here but she is calling. i’ll get back on later, bye guys.” and he was met with a chorus of “ooooh the girlfriend is calling” and what donghyuck thought was very childish kissing sounds coming from chenle and jisung, but regardless of how childish it was, it still caused a blush to creep up his neck and make its way into his cheeks.

clicking the headset off and dropping it around his neck, he and his red cheeks focused back on you. standing across the room, you were dressed in a red and black skintight suit, with a giant spider across the chest.

“you’re cosplaying now?” he asked with an eyebrow raised, his voice taking on a sarcastic tone. “you never showed any interest at all in spider-woman when we’ve all discussed her, and where did you get that costume? it looks nicely made, you nearly failed homec in high school so…”

he watched as you took a deep breath before opening your mouth to say the unbelievable., “it’s not a cosplay. it’s not a costume. it is my suit. it was technically a gift but… i am spider-woman.” you raised a finger for each point you made, your face and tone showing extreme seriousness that he would have found almost comical if he hadn’t begun to notice your face had become a little paler than when he had first seen you enter. narrowing his eyes slightly, his brain trying to figure out what was going on, he went on to huff a laugh. “you’re so full of shit.”

“look,” you ran your hand through your hair and sighed, donghyuck noticing you had started to sway a little, but you began to emphasize your points by talking with your hands again as you spoke. “i know this is a lot to take in suddenly, and i’m gonna go ahead and apologize to you for lying to you these past six months, i didn’t know how to properly tell you that ‘hey i was bitten by a radioactive spider and now i can do things i can’t explain’ because i knew you’d act like this, but i don’t have anywhere to go right now and i really… really need your help.”

and that’s when you swayed so hard, you staggered against the standing dresser sliding down its front, shaking it so hard that his textbooks fell off.

donghyuck flew across the room to kneel by your side, noticing your breathing was a little labored. you laughed a little at how quickly his demeanor changed from sarcastic to serious.

“okay, okay. you’re spider-woman and you’re forgiven for lying, what happened?” he said, going into what you called his No Nonsense Mode. he ran to his desk to grab his med kit and rushed back to your side.

“i was shot and the bullet is lodged in my arm, and i can’t remove it myself, i’ve tried and i can’t heal unless it’s out. i need you to pull it out.” it was matter-of-fact the way you spoke about what had happened to you. donghyuck placed his stethoscope on your chest and listened for any irregularities, not missing the way his heart lurched when you mentioned you were shot with nonchalance. once he couldn’t find any irregularities though, he got out scissors and began cutting the fabric away from the wound on your arm, that he wasn’t sure how he didn’t notice it earlier, but, he told himself (in his defense) the majority of the suit was black, it didn’t really stand out.

“you really should have gone to the emergency room to have an actual doctor do this.” he scolded softly, taking gauze and wiping away the excess blood from the site.

you snorted. “what? just, swing into the ER and go, ‘i can’t take off my mask for you but i need you to treat my gunshot wound’? yeah, that’ll go smoothly. besides, you’re a doctor.” you murmured as you watched him rummage in his kit for whatever tool he needed.

“i’m training to be a doctor, i’m not a doctor, yet. there’s a literal board certified difference.” he corrected, cutting his eyes at you. you lifted your other hand in surrender.

“it’s all the same to me.” you replied.

“how have you not needed me before now?” he asked before taking off a cap of a bottle and looking directly into your eyes as he said, “this is going to sting a little.”

“i heal quickly, broken ribs are nothing but – ah, shit!” crying out sharply in pain, eyes bulging at the liquid that burned worse than you thought it would.

“you said sting, you liar!” and he smirked at you, your heart leaping a little at the look. “that’s for lying to me.”

“yeah, sure. a huge identity secret that could get all my friends and family killed that i kept secret to protect you means you can hurt me with alcohol. sure, sure.” you rolled your eyes as he shrugged.

“it’s all the same to me,” he quoted you, but then frowned a little. “i’m going to dig it out now. and this will actually hurt, do you need me to grab something for you to bite down on, or… or squeeze?” he asked, his laser-focused attention shifting from your face to the hole in your arm.

you shook your head and gripped your thigh tightly. he nodded and began to find the object that was keeping you from healing yourself. you could feel the bruises start to come up on your knee as your arm shook from the pressure you applied to try and take your mind off of the pain your best friend was inflicting on you.

you watched his face as a distraction and distantly thought it was cute that he stuck his tongue out between his lips in concentration. after agonizing minutes, he finally let out an excited, “got it!”

he showed you the offending metal excitedly between the long medical tweezers and you let out a heavy sigh of relief, and you could feel your body jump into overdrive to try and heal the area.

“i think i’m going to pass out, and if i do… just leave me here. i’ll wake up in thirty minutes, tops.” you mumbled a little too softly before doing exactly what you said you would do, and slumped over onto donghyuck’s lap. considering you warned him beforehand, he only let himself panic for all of thirty seconds before he grabbed a pillow from his couch and gently moved your head from his lap to the pillow.

he rummaged around in his kit for more gauze and started to clean the area of the blood that had gushed out during the process of him removing the bullet, as he did so his hands froze midair. he could only watch in awe as he saw your skin start to heal itself, the tissues and skin closing up from the inside out. and sure enough, within thirty minutes, it was as if you had never been injured, and five minutes after that, you stirred awake. you blinked a few times up at him, and he continued to stare down at you as if he were mapping out the details of your face.

“you lied.” he said, and you groaned, throwing an arm over your eyes.

“i told you i was sorry!” you immediately went on the defensive.

“it took you thirty-five minutes, you said thirty tops.” he raised one eyebrow, giving you his signature irritating smirk that always gave you butterflies.

you thought for a moment, “hmm, must have lost more blood than i realized.”

you both stared at each other for a few awkward seconds before you let out, “so you’re…. not… mad at me? i wanted to tell you the moment i found out, i swear. but every chance i got i – ” and your voice came out smaller and smaller with each word, more than you had hoped it would. you weren’t sure why, but you knew that if he was angry it would hurt you more than you had realized it would.

“hey, chill. how could i be mad?” he sounded confused, looking away to put something in his kit. “no, i couldn’t be mad at you. i can rationalize why you did it. it makes sense why you didn’t tell me. but no more secrets from here on.” he cut his eyes over at you sternly.

“promise, no more secrets.” you agreed with a nod.

“but… now that i know…” he said, stern look morphing into a more mischievous one and the smile he wore made you shift. “i have so many questions.” the intense staring contest came to an end when you smiled back.

“alright, shoot.” you offered and sat up. when you noticed he gave you an instant unamused look, you amended sarcastically. “oh, too soon? sorry. you may proceed, your majesty.”

and oh, he did.

two hours of nothing but rapid fire questions, answering everything from:

“what are your powers?”

“the powers of a spider, hyuck.”

“yes, i can tell, but what exactly can you do?”

to:

“have you really robbed banks like that tabloid said?”

“do i look like i’m suddenly millions of dollars richer to you?”

after the intense game of twenty thousand questions, he seemed satisfied with all of his answers he received until he came down to the last one.

“what were you doing when you were shot?” he asked, deep concern written all over his face. you had scared him, you realized. he was just now processing everything that had happened, the excitement was falling away so he had to deal with what had happened and you had frightened him more than you thought you would.

“there’s a mob boss, he’s trafficking in a new kind of drug that is killing so. many. people. i think he may have manufactured it to kill but i’m not sure on that part. i was getting close to the warehouse, and he knew it. i ran into an ambush, but not before i destroyed a case of the drugs. they seem to be highly flammable somehow but anyway, there’s still so much more though, hyuck. i just acted first this time before coming up with a plan.” you became more and more enthused as you spoke but when donghyuck didn’t respond, you looked up to find him picking at his fingernails. he did this when he had something to say but wasn’t sure if he wanted to say it, you noticed in elementary school and it was his biggest tell when he had secrets. which meant he never really had secrets from you.

“hyuck, what is it?” you leaned over and touched his fiddling fingers, stilling them. he waited a few more moments before looking up and making eye contact.

“you’ve been doing all of this for six months… alone. and it’s… it’s dangerous. you’re… why are you choosing to be reckless?” his voice came out accusatory but small, almost a little unsure of himself. and it made you pause, because it was so unlike him. your hyuck, the extremely smart med student. almost overly, frustratingly self-confident, was always self-assured, but the last half hit an uncomfortable spot in your chest. a spot that signaled an argument. your eyebrows drew together and you tilted your head to the side.

“it’s dangerous, yeah, but it’s nothing i can’t handle. i’ve been handling it. and i’m not being reckless. i can’t just not use this to help people. it happened to me for a reason.”

“yeah but,” he hesitated again. he didn’t want this to come out the way he was worried it was going to. “you could get hurt, you have been hurt! what if you didn’t make it here in time? this screams recklessness to me.”

“it… it doesn’t matter if i get hurt, and i did make it here in time… look, when you can do the things i can, and you’re given a chance to help but you don’t, and then the bad things happen… they happen because of you.” you argued simply, your voice taking on a tone of pleading to match your eyes.

“it doesn't matt- it matters to me!" hearing you say your life wasn’t as important to you as others nearly gave him a heart attack. he was almost rendered speechless at those words. keyword: almost, "you could be killed! what part of that don’t you get? everything you just said isn’t heroism, y/n. that’s just self-imposed guilt.” he yelled, the sudden rise in his voice startling the both of you.

“no, it isn’t. it’s taking responsibility!” you responded, teeth clenched.

“respons-,” he cut himself off, completely incredulous. he all but rolled his eyes at you, “why do you feel responsible for people you’ve never met?! you could be killed, killed y/n. what part of that don’t you get?”

“yeah, hyuck, i could. believe me, i get it. but so could you, at any given time. people are dying, and if i can help them, then i will.” you didn’t raise your voice, but the bitterness that seeped through your still clenched teeth wasn’t easily controlled.

“people are dying because they’re choosing to take illegal drugs.”

“and you think that just because they chose to get high, off of something they were lied to about, that they should be murdered?” you were incredulous this time at the notion, eyebrows nearly in your hair.

“that’s not what i’m saying!” he threw his hands up, and you stood up abruptly.

“really?” you flung your hands out, exasperated beyond belief. “because it sure as hell sounds like it. it’s not just addicts taking this drug. it’s college kids experimenting. it – it could be our friends next! just trying a normal college experience!” and he scoffed at the defensive stance you took, arms crossing over your chest. he rolled his eyes and that just pissed you off even more. you weren’t sure why he was taking this stance, and it felt like he was against you. this was the argument that your body had warned you of.

“it could be jeno, or jaemin, or… or even mark next. at the next party, they may just try something, or, or get something slipped to them, and then what?” your tone was serious. you meant what you said.

“mark doesn’t do parties-.” he started sarcastically but you cut him off with a scoff.

“that isn’t the fucking point! you’re becoming a doctor to save people, i was given these abilities to do the same. why does it feel like i’m the only one willing to try? why does it feel like you’re… you’re judging me for it?”

“how could you say that? i’ll take an oath to do no harm in a few years, it will be my job to save people’s lives. responsibly. not doing it illegally, like a vigilante. not getting myself injured in the process, not getting myself killed.” he spat out the last sentence with such vehemence that you had no retaliation for it, mouth dropping in a silent gasp.

you just stared at him before shaking your head slightly. you walked across the room and snatched your discarded mask off the floor.

“thank you for helping me.” was all you said and he could only watch as you threw open the door and climbed out of the window in the hall you had originally crawled through. he could only partially see as you slung away. he took a moment to replay the argument through his head and he smacked himself hard in the forehead. he was stupid. he started the argument because he was worried and his smart mouth did what it always did, got him into trouble.

why was saying, ‘i’m worried for you, please be careful next time’ so hard for him?

he crossed the room and closed the door, banging his head softly against the door and mumbling,

“stupid, stupid, stupid.”

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

he hadn’t spoken to you in three days, not that he hadn’t tried. numerous texts and voicemails apologizing profusely for what he had said, but he received nothing in return. he had even let slip during gaming with his friends that he had upset you and you were refusing to talk to him.

they all immediately sided with you without even knowing what the argument was about, with jaemin throwing in a ‘you probably opened your stupid mouth and said the opposite of what you wanted to’, and donghyuck couldn’t even argue with that. they knew him well.

but with what was going on, he was, unfortunately, a little distracted doing his clinical hours at the hospital overnight. it was his turn in the ICU, the department he wanted to be in once he graduated. he just couldn’t get the image of your face out of his head when you left, and it made it hard for him to focus.

he had really hurt you, and after having the time to think about it, he understood where you were coming from. you wanted to make a difference, you had always been that way even as a kid, and how could he expect anything less? he was becoming a doctor to do the same thing. what made him any better? he knew if it were him in your shoes, he’d have done the same. he already knew the reason that made him react so negatively.

because it was you.

“lee!” the attending doctor yelled at him, snapping him out of his musings. his head snapped up instantly and he rushed over to his side, he wasn’t technically allowed to help yet but he was to shadow and learn what he could from observation. an ambulance had wheeled in a drug overdose victim, and the nurses were running around.

he finally got a good look at the patient and that’s when he stilled. the guy was in his coding class that he took as an elective, yangyang. he knew he was a good guy, a little on the strange side but he and his friends were the same. donghyuck noticed another guy he knew from around campus was hovering near the curtains edge.

xiaojun was biting his fingernails in worry and donghyuck could tell he had been crying. his attending doctor had called for narcan and so donghyuck made his way over to xiaojun. he looked up from yangyang, eyes lighting up for a second as he recognized donghyuck and he started fumbling over his words instantly.

“we-we were in the club, we hardly drank anything but a maybe a couple of beers and then all of a sudden he just… just f-fell out on the floor. they were saying it was a drug overdose but – but he doesn’t do drugs. he’d never touch them. he – he, wouldn’t. he didn’t do this.” donghyuck was about to offer words, when the doctor yelled at him to get xiaojun out of the way.

yangyang had started seizing, and he knew that xiaojun didn’t need to see it. placing a gentle hand on xiaojun’s shoulder, donghyuck escorted him away and the nurses closed the curtains. seeing this up close proved that he needed to find you. if he didn’t understand you before, he fully understood now.

his shift had ended, yangyang had been barely stable and instead of going home to sleep for his classes in the morning, he went the opposite way to go to your apartment. it was late, but he was hoping you’d be awake.

if not, he’d just wake you up and deal with it when you hit him for it. when he realized the elevator was down he sighed, assuming this was his karmic punishment, he made his way up the five flights of stairs and down the hall to your room.

standing in front of 606 he raised his hand to knock but the door opened before his hand met the wood. he figured it was the senses you had told him about that let you know he was there.

you stood in the doorway, face completely impassive. he coughed once, and scratched the back of his neck.

“i’ve been texting you, and calling…” he trailed off watching for your reaction.

“i know.” your response was cold.

“i’m really sorry,” he started again.

“i know. even jeno has told me. is that all?” and his shoulders drooped a little. when he didn’t respond for a moment, you started to close the door and he put his hand up to stop it, saying all he had to say in one quick breath.

“you were right. i was worried, and i just saw you bleeding and you acted like it was no big deal even though you had been shot and i couldn’t understand it and i’m sorry, really sorry, i reacted that way, but you were right… i… i saw what you were talking about today at the hospital. i saw it, and you were right.” your stony demeanor fell away, because you knew you couldn’t really stay mad at him, and worry seeped in.

you moved out of the way of the entrance to your room and he stepped inside and made his way to sit on your couch. he heard you close the door and shuffle across the room behind him. his elbows rested on his knees as he stared at the coffee table, and you sat on your knees in front of his field of vision.

“are you okay?” you asked, taking his hands in yours.

“it was a guy in my class, you know yangyang?” you nodded in answer and he breathed in shakily. “we… we got him stable for now but he, he wasn’t actively doing drugs. his friend said he never touched any, he was probably slipped something and – you were right. it could have been any of us.”

“it’s scary to watch happen, especially when it’s already too late to help, i know. i’m sorry you had to see it, but this lets me know that they’re getting bolder. a club? right. they’re going to make a mistake soon, i’ll be able to stop it then. you won’t have to see it again, if i can do anything about it.” your voice was honest, and earnest. donghyuck knew you meant it completely, but it made him wonder if you had already seen it be too late after trying to help, and how you were dealing with that trauma or if you were ignoring it.

taking a breath, he finally took a look around the room and you had your computer open and papers strewn around the desk like you were planning something. he got up and walked over to the papers, and he found they were annotated blueprints.

“it’s their main warehouse, i finally found it. i’m coming up with a plan this time. to save me from another hyuck scolding.” he heard you over his left shoulder. he turned quickly and his face came within inches of yours, but neither of you went to move away. his face heated at the close proximity, and you smiled knowingly at the reaction.

“i can hear your heart racing, what’s making you nervous? the plans…” you said looking down at the papers then back up, “or me?” you smirked at the way his eyes widened at the question.

maybe jeno was right after all, maybe you both were aware of how you felt about each other.

he hesitated before answering with an honest, “both, i think.”

“good,” was all you said with a grin.

“i want to help you,” he said looking down at you, searching your eyes for the part that he knew would cave.

“did you suddenly get bit by a radioactive spider too and gain superhuman abilities?” you snarked, taking his usual stance in the conversation.

“no, but i can be your person in the background helping you out. your guy in the chair, you know?” you hesitated at that.

“why not just my doctor in the hospital? i don’t want you to get hurt,” you replied, breaking eye contact to toy with the sleeve of his jacket.

“and you can?”

“i heal quickly,” you retorted. “you don’t.”

“i won’t get hurt, i’ll be sitting behind a computer helping you out with whatever you need. i’m pretty good at hacking things when i want to, if the almost choosing cybersecurity as my minor could remind you.” he wiggled his eyebrows at that and you laughed. you shoved his shoulder, and offered a hum to agree.

“fine, since i know you won’t back down. but don’t you dare think that i’ll take you anywhere near the big guys with the scary guns. i’ve been working on making my suit a little more bulletproof, so what happened last time won’t happen again as easily.” you said gesturing to the table where your sewing machine sat with other materials he couldn’t quite make out. before he could ask another question, he yawned wide, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth.

“do you want to stay here?” you offered to him, and he shook his head.

“i have a class at nine, i should head home.” and at his response you smiled a smile that seemed almost evil and he leaned away, eyebrows knitting together.

“why did you make that face? i don’t like it. stop it.” he joked, laughing a little at how uncomfortable he felt with the mischievousness of the smile.

“oh come on, you love my face.” you responded, expression not changing at all.

“yes but…”

“let me take you home.” you said, gripping the arm of his jacket and he finally connected the dots and he actually stepped back half a step at that as if it had offended him.

“oh, hell no!” he rejected the idea instantly, just the idea of heights making his stomach churn. you started to peel off your t-shirt you were wearing and he covered his eyes to avoid seeing something he shouldn’t, but you just scoffed at him. you tugged his hands away from his eyes and he saw you in your suit.

“i don’t know if i’m going to get used to that,” he whispered. he watched as you walked to the window and opened it, waving him over.

“you will, eventually.” you called. he stepped to the window, you were already on the other side standing on the fire escape. he hesitated, his fear keeping him from wanting to step onto the rickety metal. you reached your hand out to him.

“don’t you trust me?” you asked innocently, looking up at him through your lashes and his heart jumped a little at the question and the sight of you.

“yes,” he breathed before taking your hand and climbing out onto the landing that was a little too small for the both of you. he was chest to chest with you, and he couldn’t get his heart to calm down with how close you were to him. the air was cold and your breaths came out in little clouds and mixed together before dissipating.

he didn’t miss the way your eyes flicked to his lips before you shook your head slightly, he desperatly wish he could know what you were thinking but you only leaned over to grab your mask from the desk that was next to the window. you closed it firmly and turned away, and donghyuck let his body relax a little at the bit of space you created between the two of you.

“i need you to hold on to my neck, if you get scared then wrap your legs around me.” and he paled at the idea.

“i think i’m a little too –.” you cut your eyes at him, and he corrected himself. “right, sorry. super strength. got it.” you pulled the mask over your face while tugging up the black hood over your head, leapt up on the railing in a crouch before standing, perfectly balanced and turned to him.

“come on, then.” he awkwardly stepped closer and reached out, you tugged him up on the railing with ease and he wobbled. he wrapped his arms around your neck to stabilize himself and he laughed a little wildly.

“this feels a little backwards, usually it’s the man that holds the damsel close.” he joked, avoiding looking down at the ground that was a far drop.

“yes, well, i’ll make sure to tell the next spider to bite a man to save you the indecency.” he didn’t have to see it to know you were rolling your eyes. and before he could say that wasn’t exactly what he meant, you reached out your hand, wrapping your arm around his waist and suddenly you both were falling and his stomach had dropped to the ground without him.

he couldn’t even scream out in fear, his breath caught instantly in his throat. but his eyes were taking in everything around him, the city lights at night from this height were breathtaking. the adrenaline mixing with the awe made him speechless, and he slowly felt safe with you, his body getting into the gentle rhythm of the rise and fall as you swung in between the buildings.

“this is beautiful,” he said, barely above a whisper, and you turned your masked face slightly towards him.

“it is, isn’t it?” you replied, and he could hear the smile. a few minutes of peaceful silence later and you used a lamp post to swing and land. arriving in front of his apartment building safely and in one piece. donghyuck breathed a sigh of relief to be on the ground but ultimately couldn’t stop the beautiful smile that was stretching across his face.

“that was exhilarating!” he whisper-yelled. you stepped forward and brushed his hair down to control it from where the wind and swept it all over the place.

“it’s a rush for sure,” you replied and he laughed.

“so you’re a bit of an adrenaline junkie now, huh? i would be.” he said, staring at your mask, wishing he could see your face.

“you could say that,” you let out a laugh at the look on his face. when neither of you moved, you coughed and it sounded nervous to him. he gently reached up to try and tug your mask up with both hands, but you placed your hands gently on his and halted him. he wasn’t sure what he was trying to do, all he knew was that he wanted to see your face.

“you should go in and get some rest, i’ll text you in the morning, okay?” your voice was so soft, and his heart ached. eventually he nodded. “goodnight,” he said and you hummed. you leaned up and pecked him on the cheek through the mask, smiling under it as his heart kicked off within seconds.

“goodnight, hyuck.” and then he watched as you shot a web up to the same lamp post and crouched precariously on it. you sent him a small wave and you shot off into the night, he watched you go until you were out of sight and he stepped towards the apartment building entrance.

he got out his phone and sent you a quick text before making his way to the steps of his building. he fumbled with his keys to the main door when he heard shuffling behind him. he turned towards the sound of the noise, but didn’t get a chance to see before he was sucker punched in the face and the last thing he heard was deep, mocking laughter.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

you were sound asleep, and then you weren’t. a loud banging at your door had you jumping from your bed as if you had been struck by lightening. you checked your phone to see the time, and as you noticed it was half past noon.

you also noticed you had fifteen missed calls and twenty-three text messages, all from your friend group. majority coming from jaemin and jeno, and two texts from hyuck. the knocking persisted and you groaned to your feet. feeling that the knocker wasn’t dangerous, you flung open the door to find a disheveled jeno. he was slightly out of breath and you could only assume he ran the entire way here.

“what’s going on, jen?” you asked, voice still groggy from being woken up so abruptly. you rubbed at your eyes, still trying to wake up.

“donghyuck’s gone,” was all he said and you felt icy fear trickle down your back, your face draining of color.

“what do you mean? he’s probably at class, or the hospital.” trying to be rational, and jeno was already shaking his head.

“no, jaem said he didn’t show up to class and i went to check his apartment and i don’t think he ever made it up to his place because i found his keys near the stairs. and – and there was blood.” at that you were sure your heart stopped. you numbly walked from the door to sit on your couch, staring at the wall. jeno followed you in after closing the door behind him and stood in front on you.

“y/n.” you didn’t respond.

“y/n.” he said and he kneeled in front of you, the same way you had done the night before with hyuck. you didn’t move a muscle, didn’t even blink.

“y/n!” he said, voice a little louder and more serious, and his hands shook you gently. the tone and movement breaking you from the trance you had been put in at the news. you finally focused on his face, and he sighed.

“there you are. i can’t have you spacing out now on me.” you could only nod as an answer.

“i need you to find him, i know you can.”

“what? i don’t –.” and he cut you off with a stern look.

“get yourself together, go put your suit on, and find whoever took him.” and your eyes widened at his statement, your mouth dropping. before you could even deny it, he sighed dramatically.

“i already know. and so does jaemin. we both figured it out after the first month when you didn’t need your glasses anymore, and that one time in the courtyard when you caught that frisbee heading toward your head that you didn’t even see.”

you were speechless so you only answered with a, “ahhh…”

“and your suit is right there on the table.” he smiled at his little joke. “but don’t worry. your secret is safe with us.”

you looked over your shoulder, of course you’d left it out after finishing up adding the enhancements you were working on late last night after dropping hyuck off. you were regaining your thoughts again, and you got up and walked over to the papers that were strewn across your desk, leaning against your desk as you stared at them. jeno stayed put near the couch.

“do you know who took him?” he called over and you nodded, knowing there was only one group powerful enough to do this that you had severely pissed off.

“yeah, i think so. i told hyuck i was coming up with a plan, but i don’t have time to really get the plan together now. they’re not the type of people to really keep… hostages.” you let out a heavy sigh and dropped your head. you felt a comforting hand on your shoulder, and you brought your hands up to rub your face. suddenly a thought registered and you froze. you ran to your phone, and picked it up. opening your messaging app, you skipped the frantic texts from your friends and landed on the messages from hyuck.

clicking on the notifications, you slapped a hand over your mouth. the first one read,

3:37am thank you for dropping me off, talk to you in the morning :)

and the next message was a picture of hyuck, head drooped to rest on his chest, and you could see blood trailing down the side of his face. he was tied to something you couldn’t quite make out. attached to the picture were the words,

come alone.

you knew he was in danger. you were painfully aware. but to see it so clearly made your breath quicken and you felt a sob escape your throat. jeno picked up the discarded phone and swore sharply.

hyuck was in danger.

hyuck was in danger.

hyuck was in – your senses were in overdrive and you tried to get a grip on it. if you couldn’t get this under control, how would you be able to save anyone? one important person to you in trouble and you became useless? no that wasn’t going to work. it was just that you yelled at him about what if your friends were next, you told yourself, you just hadn’t registered the same would apply to you just yet. to him.

the thought of hyuck being in danger had your resolve steeling itself. you felt anger begin to course through you in place of the fear and you stalked over to the table and you yanked your clothes off, not caring that jeno was in the room. you shoved the suit on angrily, and turned to jeno. your mouth was set in a straight line. he could only stare wide-eyed and mouth dropped at you in your suit, first time really seeing that it was you in it.

“you’ll get used to it,” you said, fierce determination set on your face as you put your hands on your hips. “don't tell hyuck he'll be so jealous but... i think i’m going to need yours and jaemin’s help.” jeno only nodded as you threw on your clothes over your suit, grabbed the papers and you both stormed out of the room.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

walking into jeno’s apartment he shared with jaemin, you followed quickly and located jaemin studying at the kitchen table, medical books scattered across the table.

“jaemin?” he called to him.

“hmm?” was his answer.

“jaem!” he said, more urgent this time. jaemin looked up and when he noticed you were with him, he shot up and rounded the table.

“did you find him? do you know where he is?” jaemin said, nothing but worry on his face.

“i know where he is i think, but i will need your help. i just found the blueprints last night to the place and i haven’t had time to memorize the layout, that’s where i need you two to help me. jen says you already know everything already, so…” and she unzipped her jacket to show her suit underneath to jaemin.

“that’s still so cool to see,” jeno whispered, eyeing the colors and the giant spider. jaemin narrowed his eyes at jeno.

“focus,” he hissed. jeno raised his hands in surrender.

“what? you can’t say it’s not.” jaemin rolled his eyes at him and turned his attention back to you.

“whatever you need us to do, anything… just tell us.” you moved some of his books to the side, putting a piece of paper to hold the spot in the ones that were open, and laid out the blueprints to the building. jaemin and jeno hovered behind you, each of them taking a shoulder to look over and you explained the half-assed plan you put together on the walk over.

“there are only two entrances to the building, but since it’s two stories, and i don’t necessarily need doors, i’ll enter here on this window, it’s the dark side of the alley, hardly anyone will be there, i hope at least, and make my way through the building. i find hyuck, get him out, and if the building blows up with the drugs inside… then it’s a win-win for us.”

“you’re going to blow up a building?!” they exclaimed at the same time, both turning to look at you.

“this is a kingpins warehouse,” you said to jeno before turning to jaemin, looking between the both of them as you spoke. “he’s manufacturing drugs that are killing people. blow up the supply, and stop the deaths. maybe i can trap him in there until the cops come and it saves more lives than hurts.” jeno nodded as he understood but jaemin was pensive.

“it feels a little too dangerous, something could go wrong.” he said.

“of course something could go wrong, but hyuck is in danger!” you argued instantly, before deflating. “this… this is the only plan i’ve got.”

“maybe we can… take some more time. think about this. come up with a better plan.”

“we don’t have time!” you fumed, shoving your hand in your jacket pocket to grab your phone. you pulled up the picture you had been sent and all but shoved it in jaemin’s face. “he’s hurt! he could be killed if i don’t… i have to save him. i have to save him, before he… before he dies. because of me.” the fear was coming back, doubled up with extreme guilt and you tried to clamp down on it before it bubbled over. you felt two steady hands rest on your shoulders.

“we get it. we’re with you, not against you. we’ll help you.” it was jeno, and you nodded, looking up at the ceiling for a moment to get a rein on the tears that threatened to spill. you rummaged in your pockets again and pulled out another phone.

“my suit,” your voice cracked a little and you cleared your throat. “my suit is connected to this phone, you both can stay here and help walk me through the building. or call 911 if anything goes wrong. i worked on this last night for hyuck, when he offered to do what you’re doing for me now. and look,” you turned on the phone.

“when i do this,” you pressed on the side of your mask above your ear and the screen reflected black. “you can see what i can see.” you pulled out your mask and turned it to look at all three of you. your faces showing up on the small screen of the phone, various stages of stress.

“you made this yourself?” jeno asked, grabbing the phone and inspecting it.

“pretty much, yeah.”

“you’re really smart.” and jeno saw the unamused look you gave him through the screen.

“well i didn’t get into this school on my dashing good looks, did i?” and you let out a laugh. jaemin let out a sigh of relief and you looked over your shoulder at him.

“you’re back, i was worried you wouldn’t be able to crack jokes like you usually do, didn’t want you to go in tense to save him.” and you smiled at them both. it wasn’t a full smile, it didn’t reach your eyes, but the effort was there.

“i’m back. and i’m not going to let him die.” you pulled your mask over your head and snuggly put it in to place and tugging up the hood to follow.

“let’s do this.”

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

you waited until night fell, crouched down on the building across the street from the warehouse. the temperature kept dropping and even though you couldn’t feel it through the suit, you were worried about hyuck.

“he’s going to be okay,” you heard jaemin say through the mask.

“how did you know?” you asked, surveying as a few of the lackeys got into the car from the alley you were about to enter through and speed away.

“it’s what i’d do if i were you.” was his answer. you shot a web across the street and slung your way over to rest on the side of the building above the window. you tugged it open easily. with a deep breath, you told them you were going in and slunk through the window, gently closing it shut behind you.

you made your way through the building, turning down hallways the two told you to, opening and closing various doors along the way. all of them turning up empty. you eased your way up to the ceiling and made it down to the first floor where you heard idle chatter.

“i don’t think she’s coming. she’s going to leave you here to die, my friend.” and that was him. the head of all of this and he had hyuck’s head lifted up by his hair, forcing him to look him in the eye. hyuck surprised you by smiling, blood leaking from the corner of his mouth and it had stained his teeth.

“i hope she doesn’t come, just so she doesn’t give you what you want. just to piss you off.”

“but i want to see the desperation and anguish when i kill you, i live for it,” you couldn’t see his face but the way he said the words made your lips turn up in disgust.

you heard jeno come through on the mask, “i can’t wait to watch you kick his ass.”

“yes, well,” the kingpin continued. you still couldn’t see his face as he moved around hyuck, but he wore an expensive suit decorated with gold details. “i have what she wants. do you really think she’d let you die so easily?” and hyuck spit his blood out on his expensive shoes. the kingpin threw hyuck’s head back and it cracked loudly against the concrete wall he was tied to.

“you’re awfully pretty, you know. i could use you. maybe sell you out a few times. break that spirit of yours, make some money off of you before i killed you, or… maybe keep you for myself.” the kingpin mused out loud in a way that could have sounded like he was reading off stocks instead of hyucks fate, all while toying with a strand of hyucks curls gently. finding no better time than now, you released your grip on the ceiling.

“i’d be willing to buy him off you,” you said sarcastically, dropping down to the ground in a crouch. your sudden appearance made all of his guards pull their guns and aim them at you. “for a heavily discounted price, of course. that one has sass for days.”

you didn’t miss the annoyed glare hyuck shot at you from where he was sitting.

“y/n, be careful.” you heard jaemin warn in your ear.

the kingpin turned fully to face you for the first time and he smiled at your sudden entrance, and the sight of him made you pause.

he was breathtakingly handsome, and surprisingly young. the smile creating dimples in his cheeks and his hair was perfectly styled. he screamed ceo, a business man in disguise.

“kill her,” was his order before everything went by in a flurry. knocking the gun out of the first guards hand that rushed you, you punched him hard in the face, knocking him unconscious instantly.

“what a right hook!” you heard jeno whoop. two more rushed you from the side, and you leapt up in the air, round house kicking one into the other. the force of the kick sending them across the room. you looked up to find a gun pointing directly in your face, senses telling you to duck in time as he fired.

crouching low, you swept his legs and knocked him out once he was on the ground. jerking your head up quickly you took notice of the only two left, and you shot webs to the walls directly behind them. they sneered at you condescendingly, “you missed us.”

you only cocked your head and you jumped up high and pulled hard, using the momentum to pull you forward. you kicked them both hard in the face at the same time, neutralizing them at once. you internally winced at the sounds of their noses cracking.

“you’re so badass, where did you learn to fight like that?” jeno said in awe. you didn’t answer him. you turned quickly to face the kingpin again, and you froze when you saw the sight. he had hyuck by the hair again, untied and standing, neck fully exposed. his dimples smile directed at you as he held a needle in his left hand centimeters away from hyuck’s throat, and he kept his chin on hyuck’s right shoulder.

“if he injects him with that -.” jaemin started and you cut him off.

“i know,” you murmured between clenched teeth, voice coming out more curt than you intended.

“take off your mask,” the kingpin requested of you happily. you stood up from your low stance.

“why?” you asked, not moving an inch. your brain was in hyperdrive trying to search the room for another option. you would accept any option at all to help at this point – and there. in the corner. you found it.

“because i want to watch your face as i kill the man you love.” you pretended to pause to think, bringing your finger to your chin in dramatic fashion.

“i will… but only if you tell me your name,” you responded.

“i don’t think you’re in a position to bargain here.” he still smiled, the grin starting to pull at his lips in a way that looked painful. you wished he would stop. the insanity of it all crossed your threshold of comfort ages ago.

“you’re right, but i would at least like to know the name of the man who’s about to kill me. consider it chivalry.” you figured when you survived this, you’d have some sort of leverage. the smile he gave you as he pondered grew more insane, and it made you uneasy.

“my name is jaehyun. what’s yours?” he chirped, a little too happily.

“ah, ah, ah,” you tutted while wagging a finger at him, letting forced amusement filter in your voice for his sake, “you only get one. my face, or my name.” shifting to one foot, you rested your hand on your hip.

feigning nonchalance was not your strong suit, but it helped when your face was covered. jaehyun didn’t hesitate with his answer.

“face.” and it was your turn to pause. you didn’t want to do this.

“please don’t,” hyuck whispered to you, eyes pleading with you, and jaehyun tugged his hair harder, earning a hiss from hyuck.

“come now. a deal’s a deal.” he scolded you both gently. your head slumped slightly as you reached up to your hood and tugging it back. then your hands made their way to your face slowly and you could hear both jeno and jaemin’s protests in your ears.

“y/n, don’t!” they shouted through the headset. you tugged off the mask, head down and with your hands open in a surrendering motion, you laid the mask down against the knocked out guard.

so they could still see.

so they could still call for help in case something went horribly wrong.

you finally looked up to make eye contact with hyuck first, you were surprised when you didn’t see fear there anymore. he looked a little proud, and somehow, also angry.

you finally dragged your eyes away from hyuck’s and looking jaehyun directly in his. he dragged his eyes up and down your body, your senses going haywire with the way he was looking at you, chills traveling down your spine making the hairs on your neck stand on end. everything about this man made your body scream danger.

“you’re surprisingly beautiful… you know what? i’ll make a deal. tell you what, you let me use you instead, keep you as mine only, and i’ll set him free.”

“just like that?” you asked, noticing how his hand drifted slightly away from hyuck’s neck.

“just like that,” jaehyun laughed, his eyes roaming over your body in a way that seemed hungry for a moment, the stare going on far longer than socially acceptable. you resisted the urge to scowl.

“no,” was all hyuck said. the finality in his voice made you jerk your head.

“where do you think you have the footing to defy me?” jaehyun murmured into hyuck’s neck and he inhaled deeply.

god, he was so fucking weird, you couldn’t help but think as the corners of your lips tugged down.

jaehyun still looking intently at you, he grinned widely at the grimace you made at the semi intimate action. you could only watch as jaehyun’s face grew darker and his eyes lit up brightly as an idea struck him.

the insane man stared at you as he forced hyuck’s head to face him, you were out of his line of sight and hyuck struggled against his hold to be able to see you again but immediately froze when jaehyun kissed him hard. it wasn’t a passionate kiss, it wasn’t meant to be romantic. but one with a hidden purpose. it was meant to hurt everyone in the room.

you took a step forward and raised your arm slightly.

“stop it.” your voice was soft.

hyuck didn’t move, keeping his lips shut tightly but it still didn’t help the rage that was bubbling up. jaehyun didn’t seem bothered by hyuck’s struggles, and he finally released hyuck’s mouth at your request and licked his lips. he was satisfied with the emotions he knew he had created in you and rested his head on hyuck’s neck again. you ground your teeth together, trying to compose yourself.

hyuck caught your eyes, and you could only hope the look in yours screamed that you were sorry for getting him caught up in this. you couldn’t help but begin to blame yourself all over again.

hyuck shaking his head caught your eye, he was good at reading you. his eyes burned with a sort of defiance and you felt a bit of tension leave your shoulders at that. he didn’t blame you, neither should you. it wouldn’t be that easy, but it was a start. after long seconds, jaehyun broke the silence, not being able to handle his lack of understanding in the silent conversation.

“you know, i could keep you both. i could have so much fun with the both of you.” he purred and he waited patiently for your response.

“absolutely not,” you and hyuck said together instantly. jaehyun visibly pouted.

“fine,” he huffed, looking up at you from the crook of hyuck’s neck. “i guess i’ll just have to kill you both then.” jaehyun’s hand that was still gripping the needle moved forward, and as if everything moved in slow motion for you, you shot a web to stick his hand to the wall with the needle, and shot another web that stuck to hyuck and yanked hard, pulling him close to you, grabbing a fistful of his hoodie and pulled him close to make sure he wouldn’t fall from the force.

“hey,” he breathed, relief washing over him as he stood so close to you. he couldn’t relax fully but to be near you calmed him somehow. “if you wanted me close, you could have just asked. the man you love is more than willing.” he flirted shamelessly, smirking shakily down at you. he was trying any way he could to break the tension somehow and you rolled your eyes with a smile.

“glad to know you’re still you.” your senses alerted you, and your body reacted on its own. you shoved hyuck to the ground before you even knew what the danger was. realizing a second later what as the sound of the gunshot rang. it hit you fully in the chest, knocked you on your back and you slid across the ground several feet.

the scream of your name you heard hyuck yell broke your heart, you never wanted to hear that again you decided right then and there. as you regained your breath that had been knocked out of you, you groaned aloud, noting somewhere in the back of your mind that if jaehyun was paying attention, he now had your name and face. you would worry about that later.

you struggled to lift yourself on one elbow, a little sore but you didn’t feel the pain that you did the time before. the modifications worked, examples by the fact that you brushed off the bullet as if it were dust. you couldn’t miss how it infuriated jaehyun as he was still stuck to the wall, his face turning red in anger. you slowly rose to your feet.

“damn, dude. can’t even kill a girl right, can you?” you taunted, and you noticed he angled his gun towards hyuck who was scrambling to get up to come to your side and in the same second you grabbed the gun you had landed next to. you found the mark you had noticed earlier and shot the beaker filled with a liquid that you were sure it was flammable if the labels on the surrounding areas were anything to go by. the small bunsen burner underneath it ignited the liquid and started a chain reaction. you stepped in front of hyuck, pushing him back down to the ground to protect him as the explosion rocked the building around you.

.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.°.

you had smiled down at him, and all hyuck could think to say was, “i’m so sorry, this is all my fault.”

“what?!” you exclaimed, and grunted as the weight pressed down further.

“if i hadn’t -.”

“not now hyuck, you know damn well that none of this is your fault. if you don’t think it’s my fault, then you can’t possibly think it’s yours but we can talk about that later, now please, can you stand?” it took hyuck longer than he’d like to admit to process the question, but eventually he nodded. he groaned as he stumbled to his feet, grabbing his side as it revolted against the movement. definitely bruised, maybe cracked.

“good, good.” you said, “now if only you could move about six feet away, that would be…” the slab shifted and your knees buckled slightly. “that would be great.”

“i’m not leaving you!” he argued. and your patience ran thin, the weight and panic of trying to save him getting to you.

“now is not the time, donghyuck! please!” you yelled at him, crying out in frustration at the situation. it caused him to pause, you never used his real name, always the shortened version you had decided on calling him since you were kids. he wavered for a moment, internally arguing with himself before stumbling away the distance you had asked. he turned back to see your knee buckle under the weight and he wanted to reach out to you.

“no, stay there. give me…” the slab shifted again and he watched you sink lower against the weight. “give me a few seconds to think.”

“y/n, you don’t have seconds!” he was frantic now with worry, watching you struggle.

you looked up to glare at him, “you’re not helping!” then your vision drifted to over his shoulder and a familiar idea popped in your head. you shifted as minutely as possible, freeing a hand. you shot a web across the room to the opposing wall and you wrapped your hand around it tightly.

“when i move, this will fall. cover your eyes or turn away. preferably both in case this crushes me,” you ordered, half joking as always, before taking two steadying breaths, once you had watched him turn halfway, and he wasn’t moving further than that, you yanked, pulling hard with all the strength you had left. the slab shifted instantly and the weight worsened but not before you were flung far from the collapsing chunk of building.

the crash of the cement slab echoed loudly in what was left of the room and hyuck ran to your side as you lay on the ground. he turned you over and at your smile, he let out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. you sat up to look at him fully, eyes taking in his injuries. tears sprung in his eyes, and he held your cheeks in his hands.

“you’re okay.”

“you’re okay.” you parroted back at him.

you leaned forward slightly but before you could move more than an inch, his lips crashed into yours. there was a sense of need, urgency and passion in this kiss.

as if the kiss was solidifying that you were safe, you were here. one of his hands traveling down to your waist, pulling you tightly against him, the other holding onto your face like he was afraid to let go.

your hands made their way to his hair and he notated in the back of his mind that it hurt but it didn’t stop him from moving his lips against yours. after what felt like hours, you both finally separated, and he rested his forehead against yours as you both caught your breaths. he couldn’t take his eyes off of your face.

“if i had known getting kidnapped and almost murdered would have made you bolder, i would have told you much sooner.” you joked against his lips, pulling back a bit to smile up at him and he gave you his signature smirk as usual. you paused and tilted your head slightly away and strained your ears, sirens.

“police are coming, guess jeno and jaemin assumed something went wrong,” you said, slowly rising to your feet and reaching out a hand to help him up. you scanned the room quickly trying to catch sight of jaehyun but came up empty. you halfway hoped he had died but something told you that wasn’t the case. and you stopped yourself, realizing that you’d feel guilty for that train of thought later.

“well they assumed right – wait, what?!” he exclaimed and he struggled to his feet but overall was far more steady than he had been minutes before. you attempted to walk a few steps away from him but he refused to let go of your hand, so you tugged him along to pick up your mask that had dust covering it.

“i’ll tell you when we’re away from here,” you smiled at him before raising your mask slightly, hopefully showing to jeno and jaemin if they were still watching that you both were alive.

“you ready for another trip through the city, my style?” and he seemed almost childlike in his response, his giddiness showing through his grin he gave you.

“hell yeah, babe.”

[evansbby]

I finally watched a ballad of songbirds and snakes and here are my thoughts!!! (movie and book spoilers below the cut!!!)

Overall I think it was a PHENOMENAL movie. Especially Tom Blyth as Coriolanus Snow, he was just incredible. The subtlety in his expressions, how he portrayed cool confidence as well as awkwardness that lies beneath… he was just WOW.

AND Rachel Zeigler as Lucy Gray!!! She was incredible and so charming!!! I loved her accent and the little things like how she’d call Coryo “gorgeous” and “sweetheart” I was scared they’d make her a typical Hollywood girlboss and I think I got maybe one or two glimpses of that, but for the most part she was just brilliant and an amazing singer too!

I think they adapted the book into a movie really well.

But here are some things they cut out which I wish they included: (there are some I’ll miss bc I’m rusty with the book since I read it one year ago)

— Clemensia’s fate. The last we see of her is when she sticks her hand in the snake pit and gets bit by the snake and exposed as a liar. But in the book, the snake bite literally has a physical effect on her like her skin becomes yellow and also her eyes, she starts growing scales, her brain is altered by the venom too. She basically becomes like a snake and they showed none of that??? In fact we never see Clemensia again??

— Arachne’s funeral scene. This scene was SO poignant in the book bc of how they paraded Brandy’s dead body and one of the things I remember so clearly and I understand maybe it was too gruesome but I really feel like it should’ve been included in the movie. It really really showed how the Capitol treated the tribute kids. I was really waiting for this scene and they never showed it so that was a bit of a letdown.

— They should’ve showed more of the exchanges between Sejanus and Marcus. They went to school together in district 2, and they REALLY should’ve highlighted this a lot in the movie, to show that it easily could’ve been Sejanus in his place has things been different. Idk I just felt like there was more to explore there. Marcus barely had any lines in the movie.

— The Covey was barely explored and introduced at all. Maude Ivory and the rest of them barely had a speaking line! I know the movie was very long so I understand they had to cut a lot of things out but the Covey was so important to LG’s character and it’s a shame they basically got cut out.

Okay and now I have a few good things to say. My favourite parts included the way they filmed the bombing of the arena in the beginning, with the shot of LG and Coryo and bombs just going off all around them. Visually it looked pretty cool.

Also the hunger games themselves were very interesting to watch! They were actually my least fav part of the book (the district 12 part aka part 3 was my fav in the book) but the movie made the hunger games so interesting! Loved it from beginning to end.

I just need to talk about my biggest problem with this movie. Now I’ve read the book and the book mad it obvious from the beginning that Coryo was… Not Good. But in the movie this wasn’t very obvious. My friend, who hasn’t read the book, literally was on Coryo’s side and thought he was justified throughout… I feel like the movie should’ve showed Coryo’s hatred for the districts more, his shame for being poor more, his hatred for Sejanus more, even his second thoughts about leaving with Lucy Gray… none of that was obvious in the movie. My friend thought the movie deliberately made Coryo look not that bad, which defeats the purpose of the book in my opinion. In the book, it’s always somehow made clear that Coryo is not good. He does good things but innately… there’s always something off about him. Movie didn’t show that enough imo. Like his possessive nature especially was never highlighted. I mean ofc Coryo gets progressively worse and he does have his good moments in the book too BUT the book makes it clear that he had sooo many chances to make the right choice and he just… doesn’t IDEK im scared no one is gonna get what I’m trying to say

SEJANUS is probably my biggest gripe in this movie. In the book, he was my favourite character. He was the only one speaking sense, the only one who was so passionate about how THG were wrong and how the treatment of the districts was wrong. In the movie, I’m so sorry but he came across whiny and annoying. He wasn’t being passionate like how I imagine him in the book, he just…. fell a bit flat for me. So much so that when his execution happened, it fell flat for me too. As opposed to when I read it in the book… you guys I CRIED and couldn’t breathe and felt sick to my stomach. Had they better highlighted how much Sejanus trusted and seemed to love Snow, his death would’ve had more impact in the movie. Idk how to explain it but I just didn’t like Sejanus in the movie? The acting felt flat, the guy was doing nothing for me… and in the book he was everything bc he was the one saying what all us readers were thinking!!! My friend who hasn’t read the book found Sejanus INCREDIBLY annoying too. Idk.

A lot of people said that the third act in the movie was too brief but to me it felt too long? Maybe bc I knew what was coming. I liked the ending, I think it was done really well. Exactly how I imagined it in the book. I also wished they’d showed LG and Coryo kissing more in the film. They only kissed once??? Whereas in the book they were always kissing??? And I wish they showed Coryo’s reaction to the first kiss, like in the book he fell asleep repeating the kiss in his head, likeeee idk I wish they’d have translated that initial infatuation better in the movie.

BUT APART FROM THAT.. and I know I’m missing so much more but I’m so tired… but yeah, this movie was really good, it was really special, it was entertaining throughout and I wasn’t bored even for a second!!!

I’d give it 8.5/10