#but also I haven't felt this hopeful about anything in like 4 years?

[fflewddur-feanorion]

I love reading fantasy. I pick up a book on Monday night and suddenly it's 3 AM and I'm sobbing over a character named "moist von lipwig"

[ellaa-writes]

Hallow Love

angst, heartbreak

He never touched you anymore, at first it was short fleeting moments and the I'm not in the mood right now's.

You tried not to think about it, life's been tough, loosing your secure job of 5 years and him telling you not worry about it. He can take care of the both of you just fine. You could just stay home, get a hobby or start a small business. Too really live you life but that all sounded to easy.

He came home injured, bits and pieces of him missing,not just on the outside but on the inside too. His kisses start to feel unfamiliar and distant. More excuses, my love for you has changed and it's hard for me to see you like that. You disnt understand, it didn't make sense but you clutched onto the lies with all your heart, believing them cause it was the only hope you had left.

When a month turned into a year, you came undone at the seams. The guilt of not being enough ripped you open at the seams. Of course he felt horrible, but he also didn't feel ashamed. If you could only understand, that's how his defense always started. And you screaming back tell me so I can understand!

But he never did, leaving the room as you sobbed for anything. Any sign that your once loving husband was still alive inside, or was he hallowed out and replaced with this stranger.

He'd come crawling back with begging promises to change and to get better. But he never does, a year turned into 4 and it felt like you were living with a ghost. He no longer slept in the same bed, haven't shared a family dinner in a year. Barely seeing eachother in passing, like two bitter roommates avoiding eachother at every chance.

You didn't know why you stayed for so long, the guilt probably. The strong loving man you once knew now snears everytime your near. He stopped apologizing along time ago. You finally built up enough courage to leave, to pack your stuff and flee.

He leaves for a mission, doesn't tell you where or for how long, not like he does anyways. You waited an hour after he left to pack all your belongings into the back of your car and peel out of your driveway.

3 months passed by, then it turned into a year and you still haven't heard from him. You stopped waiting after 2, hoping that he got help, found a better wife someone who could understand him. You hoped he had the family he always talked about, and you hoped the most that he is still alive.

[aayakashii]

It seems I haven't quite had my fill of cuteness. So I humbly ask for part 4 of the plushie series with Luca, Ritsu, Zenji, Tohma, and Rui.

It's ok if you don't want to also

The most requested thing!! hehehe |ू´꒳`) I'm really happy you guys like the plushie headcanons, and thanks to the anon who originally requested it a few months ago too!!

Part 1, part 2, part 3

How Tokyo Debunker boys react after receiving a cute little plushie from MC – Luca, Ritsu, Zenji, Tohma, Rui, Ed and Lyca

Lucas Errant – husky plushie

Extremely happy that he is receiving such a thoughtful gift from you!

He never truly allowed himself to play with toys because of his studies, and then came the guilt of losing his brother… Letting himself relax like that barely ever crossed his mind.

So he doesn't really know what to do???

He just perches the cute plushie on his desk and politely greets it whenever he leaves his room and gets back.

He's a bit confused, but he's got the spirit!

Since the husky is always on his desk, it kinda becomes his study buddy really quick too.

Luca ends up reciting his notes to it and reading his books out loud, so it helps him get even better grades (if that's even possible).

He notices this and IMMEDIATELY goes to thank you.

He is 100% sure that you had this crazy elaborate plan to make him get better grades, which is why you made the plushie for him.

Now he’s asking you to maybe make one for Kaito so he stops going to so many remedial classes…

Because he’s denser than a (quickly researches what is the densest rock in the world) peridotite

And doesn’t realize that you gave him a handmade gift because you LIKE him........

He’ll have to ask someone for help after you get upset with him because of this.

Because the husky plushie definitely doesn’t know either and, for some reason, Kaito just refuses to help him!

Cut him some slack… he’s just dense. Like a peridotite.

Shinjo Ritsu – otter plushie

"For me?"

"Yes."

"I believe you are aware that a gift, in the law of property, is the voluntary and immediate transfer of property from one person to another and in order for the it to be legally effective it has to have donative intent, the delivery of the gift to the donee, and the acceptance of the gift."

“Okay...?”

“Therefore I accept the gift.”

“Cool…”

Congratulations, you have just given Ritsu his first official associate.

Or at least this is what he says to himself in his mind.

He was trained to become a lawyer since he was a little kid, so he never thought about playing with toys that much (and his father didn’t push him to do so as well).

But he gotta admit, having a handmade plushie, something his partner (as in business partner! Don’t get him wrong!) made for him exclusively does bring a feeling of joy he never quite felt before.

If anyone so much as THINK about touching his gift, he will be ready to recite the entire constitution, and every single law they broke, AND declare how many years they’ll get in prison just for touching his little otter friend.

He takes things such as private property very seriously after all.

He won’t take the plushie everywhere with him (what about safety?), but he does keep it right next to him in bed when he’s reviewing all the records he made throughout the day.

For a second, he wonders if he could sneak a camera into a plushie and give it to you, but oh no, that would be an invasion of privacy!

Or at least only until he finds a loophole in the law.

Kotodama Zenji – koi plushie

"My dear!!! Oh you truly are the most lovely flower to ever grace this earth! If my heart could still beat, it would be racing for you!!"

You managed to steal a little beaded bracelet artifact, something weak (or at least you hope so), and tied it on the plushie's tail.

And your theory was successful! Zenji could actually touch it, just like he could carry his doll due to its anomalous properties.

To say he’s absolutely SMITTEN with the plushie is an understatement.

He loves anything artistic and knowing that you spent your precious time creating that cute plushie for him makes him so so happy!

WILL carry it everywhere and write ballads about the koi. And poems. And he will read every single myth involving kois and post them on his youtube channel as well (please like and subscribe... PLEASE...)

Haku has the time of his life laughing at Zenji, because now he carries his doll, his biwa AND his plushie everywhere.

If you keep giving him gifts, he might actually need a whole cart to carry everything around him.

The little koi and the doll become his most loyal fans, and his company during nighttime, when everyone’s asleep.

If you see a koi plushie outside your window, don’t freak out. It’s just Zenji watching you sleep again.

He has the habit of calling the doll "his brother" and now he’s gonna call the koi plushie "his dearest".

The two people he cares about the most, right there in his arms: Jiro and you.

Ishibashi Tohma – orca plushie

"Oh? I wonder what made you think I am fit for receiving such an adorable little gift."

Tohma… does not know what to do with the gift you just gave him.

Don’t get him wrong, he appreciates it! Truly. He is mesmerized by the fact that you made a whole orca plushie with your own hands.

But he also doesn’t see how someone as intimidating as him deserves such an adorable gift.

Maybe all those months serving someone else with little appreciation made him forget how it feels to be pampered…

He places the plushie in the vault, right on his desk, and it becomes his companion when he needs to go through paperwork.

Tohma tried giving it a hug once and he got so damn sleepy RIGHT AWAY that now he just pats its head whenever he needs to take a break.

That little thing is dangerous, making him feel so comfortable… He can’t sleep, he’s a busy man! A little headpat to acknowledge the plushie will have to suffice.

However, he still hasn’t tried taking the plushie to his room yet.

He’s quite worried that his sleep will just be filled with dreams about you.

And oh dear... it'd be way too tough to wake up from something pleasant like that.

Mizuki Rui – black bunny plushie

You torture him, being so cute!

A plushie? For him? A black bunny you made with your own hands?!

He wishes he could squish you to death, but that could become quite literal if he actually touched you.

So instead, he squeezes the hell out of the bunny.

Absolutely loves the gift and takes it EVERYWHERE with him.

It basically becomes his bar’s little mascot.

He kisses the bunny’s cheeks every single time he lays his eyes on it. There’s a good morning kiss, a good afternoon kiss, a good evening kiss, plenty of see you later kisses… (he just wishes he was actually kissing you).

Rui will definitely get little accessories for the bunny and maybe even get matching ones for you.

He will also name it some variation of your name and refer to it during conversations as if he was talking about an actual living being.

Lyca and Ed are forced to acknowledge the bunny as their new dorm mate, but won’t let Rui get the bunny its own room because that would be too much!!

Oh, Rui will also buy a bottle of your perfume to spray on the plushie so when he hugs it, it smells like you

What? No, of course that’s not creepy at all, silly! He just loves everything about you, including your perfume!

Edward Hart – ram plushie

Oya, look at what his lovely human brought to him. And you made it yourself? Wonderful.

He has watched plenty of DIY tutorials on youtube, but was always too lazy to go through with them.

Now that he knows you’re skillful with your hands, though? Expect plenty of requests. Maybe do a little bat for him next, what do you think?

The little ram probably becomes the only clean thing in his room, despite Ed holding it all the time when he’s bedrotting.

(That’s because Rui cleans it frequently. He doesn’t want you to think your gift went underappreciated)

And when I say constantly, I mean CONSTANTLY.

Something cute and comfy to hold while he rewatches that 10 hour conspiracy iceberg video for the 5th time? That is exactly what he needs.

He will try to take pictures of the ram watching videos with him for you, but it will be terribly unfocused.

You appreciate the thought despite that!

You don’t appreciate the message he sent though...

"Hello My Dear 😘❗️I Just Had To Show You This 📷❗️Look At How My New Little Friend 🐏 Is Watching Youtube 💻 With Me 🦇❤️ He Just Absolutely Loves ❤️ To Watch ✨️ Conspiracy Videos✨️ With Me 🦇 I Tried Inviting Lyca🐺 Too But He Won’t Reply To My Messages ✉️🚫😢 I Wonder Why 🤔❓️ Please Come Visit Me Anytime 👋🏰🥀 We’d Love To Watch Things With You👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨😘💋"

Lyca Colt – wolf plushie

“What's this?”

“It's a gift for you. I made it.”

“What do I do with it?”

“Um... nothing. You can cuddle it when you sleep, I guess?”

“Hmpft! I'm not a child, I don't need to cuddle things!!”

Don't worry, he thanks you properly after Rui scolds him and tells him to express gratitude when he gets gifts.

He is a little bit rough with it at first, since he never had a toy before, but he quickly gets extremely possessive of it and starts treating the plushie with a lot more care.

He WILL growl and bite if someone tries to take it from him.

Lyca kind of acts like a big brother to his wolf plushie, taking him to his favorite spots and explaining the things he learned to it (he needs to practice after all!)

The plushie becomes a nice reminder of you. Whenever he thinks about doing something he shouldn’t, he looks at the wolf’s beady eyes and thinks of yours as well.

Who would’ve thought this would be such a sure-fire way to make him behave a bit more.

Rui, however, is absolutely exasperated because he just knows that plushie will be another thing that will desperately need washing SOON and Lyca just won’t let him clean it.

Lyca eventually wraps his plushie in his stinky baby blanket (much to Rui’s despair) and cuddles with it to sleep every night.

His dreams become all about you, so don’t worry in case he has a little bit of a hard time looking at you the next day (and a little blush on his cheeks). It’s a little hard to explain!

Full masterlist

[sk3erkrou]

My Thoughts on Hogwarts Legacy

This is something that has been on my mind recently as more discourse about the topic is coming to the forefrunt of the internet. Hogwarts Legacy and, honestly, the Harry Potter franchise as a whole.

As I see things, there are 5 groups of people when it comes to "THAT wizard game."

"Hey, I don't want to play it because of my own personal reasons. But if you want to play it, I hope you have fun."

"Hey, I do want to play this game because of my own, personal reasons, but I understand that you're not interested. That's cool."

"This game gives money to a transphobe?! Awesome! I just bought two copies."

"You want to play this game for your own reasons? You're a transphobe piece of shit. I won't stop until you know you're a piece of shit."

"Harry Potter? Hogwarts Legacy? I haven't played video games since I lost 2 weeks of my life to Banjo Kazooie in 1998."

If you fall into either category 1, 2, or 5, then right on. You're doing the right thing. Keep it up.

However, if you fall into either category 3 or 4, you are a fucking problem and you need to cut the shit and grow up.

Personally, I fall into category 1. I feel I have made my views on the game and franchise fairly clear. But also, I have a good friend who learned to read because of Harry Potter. I grew up with the franchise and it was a huge part of my childhood, and recognizing that I no longer want to engage in the franchise felt like a huge loss to me, and took some time to reconcile with myself. But, again, I have made that decision based on the larger franchise and not simply this one game. And, also again, these are my OWN PERSONAL REASONS. If you're interested, I will gladly share my thoughts in a civil manner, and only ask that you understand my thinking, not that you agree with me, or try to convince me to change my mind.

Now, to address category 3. Deep breath, here.

If you are doing anything at all because you know it will make the lives of people worse, then fuck you right to hell. Yes, this group of people also generally goes hand in hand with a specific red hat and an orange demagogue. If you find yourself in this category, get help. Go to therapy and ask about this concept called "empathy."

Category 4.

I will repeat: if you are doing anything at all because you know it will make the lives of people worse, then fuck you right to hell. Setting up websites to track Twitch streamers to see who is playing Hogwarts Legacy? Going to channels and harrassing the streamers for wanting to play the game? I would argue that people in this category or worse than those in category 3 because while those in 3 as assholes, they are blowing money on something they don't actually care about to try triggering someone while people in this group are going out and actively attacking people for engaging something that they want to experience for, and repeat after me, THEIR OWN PERSONAL REASONS. I saw in one chat that someone mentioned they wished executions were legal because people were doing something they didn't like. Sounds an awful lot like some people who built some gallows outside of a notable large building in the US back in the beginning of January 2021, doesn't it?

Here's where things really boil down on Hogwarts Legacy. The game is made. It's done. Rowling has been paid or will be getting paid. You attacking people for enjoying the game isn't going to stop that. But there's a lot more people than just her in the mix, here. Think about all the hundreds of people who have spent YEARS working on making this game, and trying to make it the best game possible. They have also been paid and are continuing to get paid. Controversy has surrounded Hogwarts Legacy pretty much since it was announced. And it wasn't cancelled.

Here's where I see things going with the game: it is the outrage of the day. Somewhat surprisingly, the outrage of Hogwarts Legacy's release is overshadowing the much more recent information about Justin Roiland. People will continue to be upset by this game for a while, and eventually that will fade, as all outrage does.

But you know what won't pass? The hurt caused by people to other people over this game. Your friend, who you disagree with about the game, sitting in their home, playing the game, is not going to hurt you. Streamer playing the game and you don't want to watch it? THEN FUCKING DON'T. Full stop. For fuck's sake, people were buying subs to a twitch stream just so they could continue harrassing the streamers after they made the chat sub-only. Fuck you. Grow up. And like I told the people in group 3, get therapy.

Actually, everyone should go to therapy, but that isn't the point of this.

Here's what my point of view boils down to: let people enjoy what they enjoy and stop shitting on things just because people enjoy them. Yes, the situation here is more complex and nuanced than that, but every situation is. And if any part of this rambling has made you angry or upset for any reason, I'd like you to think about why that is. I am not advocating for people to play the game or not play the game. Honestly, I just couldn't give a fuck what you want to play in the privacy of your own home. I just want people to be better. Treat people better. Be better people. Recognize that everyone on this planet is, at the very least, deserving of being treated like a person and deserving of love. And if you can't understand that fact, did you really understand Harry Potter at all?

[fandomcentralsposts]

Steve hasn't celebrated Christmas properly for many years because his parents are never home, and if they do show, it'll be a few days before, and they don't usually stay for new years. Because of this, Steve no longer has the urge to put up decorations. He doesn't bother with Christmas dinners or ugly sweaters or any usual traditions. But deep down, he loves Christmas. The lights, the trees, music, and snow are something a part of him still looks forward to every year he just knows he'll probably be spending it alone. Until he dates Nancy and the Wheelers, let him join them for Christmas and the years after Dustin and his mother would welcome him, although at times he felt like he was imposing he felt grateful he also made sure he bought presents for everyone all the kids and Nancy, Johnathan and eventually Robin he would also help cook for whoever he was staying with he wanted to make sure he was the perfect house guest so he would be invited back next year.

When he and Eddie started dating, Steve half expected he would be invited over at Christmas. Their relationship was going strong they were attached at the hip, and Wayne was very tolerant of them, and he seemed to like him, so he was hoping it would be offered. Except it wasn't November came and left, then it was December 1st, then 4th, then 8th, then 16th, and Eddie hadn't said anything. Which was fine. Christmas is a family thing, after all, and they had been dating for only 4 months. However, Robin and her family were going out of town this year, and Dustin and his mother were hosting his Aunt and Grandma and Steve didn't want to take up anymore space but he couldn't help but feel a tiny pang of rejection and grimacing at the idea of spending Christmas alone in his quiet, dark house.

On the 23rd of December, Steve was sitting in his room. Robin had already left, and family video had closed for the holidays, and Steve figured he shouldn't bother Eddie since it was so close to Christmas. He tried to distract himself by reading a book, wrapping presents he would give out on boxing day, but there was only so much he could do before his mind drifted back, too, his depressing reality. Just as Steve thought about pulling back the covers and spending the next 2 days in bed, the doorbell rang. He went downstairs and opened the door to reveal his boyfriend smiling widely at him.

"Eddie! Hi, I didn't know you were coming over, " Steve said, letting him in.

"Yeah, I wanted to surprise you, baby," Eddie said, stepping through the front door and kissing Steve on the cheek. "I have your christmas present"

Steve glanced at the poorly wrapped box Eddie was gripping with excitement.

"Oh Ed's you didn't have to-"

"Shhh, of course I had too it's Christmas, and you're my boyfriend now where is your tree?" Eddie said, venturing into the living room

"Um..." Steve trailed off suddenly embarrassed by the lack of decoration.

"Wow, you've left decorating really late are you waiting for your parents or something?"

"T-they're not coming"

"What?"

"They're not coming back for Christmas," Steve stated

"Oh my god baby, I'm so sorry," Eddie said, placing his gift on the coffee table and giving his boyfriend a hug

"It's alright Eddie really" Steve chuckled "They haven't spent Christmas with me in years so-"

"Years?!" Eddie said, eyes widening. "So you've been by yourself every year?"

"No, Dustin and Robin have invited me over, but neither of them could this year"

"Why didn't you ask me?" Eddie said sounding a little heartbroken

"I don't know a part of me thought you might ask first and then I thought Christmas is a family thing so you probably want to be with Wayne only"

"Stevie, you are my family too. I love you," Eddie said sincerely.

Steve couldn't stop the tears from welling in his eyes the way Eddie spoke so gently and rested his palm on Steve's cheek.

"I'm sorry." Was all Steve could manage not exactly sure what he was apologising for. Eddie shushed him and cleared his throat.

"Steve Harrington," Eddie started. "Would you please make me the happiest man alive and join me and my uncle for Christmas?"

"Yes," Steve said, laughing at the end.

Eddie and Steve didn't waste a second gathering some of Steve's things, the presents he wrapped, and drove back to the trailer park. Wayne was more than happy to have Steve over for Christmas, especially since he had an extra pair of hands in the kitchen. Eddie and Steve cuddled up on the couch that evening, their mugs of hot chocolate cooling on the coffee table. Eddie pressed a kiss to Steve's forehead.

"Merry Christmas, Stevie"

"Merry Christmas, Ed's"

[happilyhertale]

Long Lost Love - Aemond Targaryen x female!reader, Part 1

Summary: You are the daughter of Daemon and Rhaenyra. When the invitation to Aegon and Helaena's wedding came, your entire family rushes from Dragonstone to King's Landing to take part in the festivities. You haven't seen your family in King's Landing for 6 years so you are very excited...

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader

Warnings: At the beginning none – eventually smut (uncle/niece)

Author’s note: Hello you!

This is my first fic so please be nice :) I thought I'd just try a little self-considered story. I hope you like it. The events are not entirely similar from the series 

English is my second language, please forgive me if I made any mistakes (:

Word count: 2,3k

Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7a, Part 7b, Part 8, Part 9, Part 10, Part 11, Part 12, Part 13, Part 14, Part 15

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

You have waited a long time for this day. And now it was finally here. Your legs are wriggling and you are nervously fiddling with your dress as you look out of the carriage window and see the towers of the Red Keep approaching. Far too long you have been away. Six years have passed since the terrible events of Driftmark. After your parents took you and your siblings and brought you back to Dragonstone. "Y/N is everything all right? You're about to have the threads of the dress in your hands one by one if you keep this up."

Your father, Daemon Targaryen. Many fear him. Rightly so, you think. Countless times you hung on his every word as he told you how he went into battle and defeated his enemies. Or when he simply read you tales of dragons. You love him dearly, if you can put it that way, you are father's girl. And he treats you with the same warmth. He loves you with all his heart and to only a few people can Daemon Targaryen show affection or even love, but you are one of them. He would do and give anything to keep you safe. It would break his heart if he failed to protect you from the dangers of the world or simply if you did not feel loved.

It started with your birth. Your mother Rheanyra Targaryen was married to Laenor Velaryon. They already had a son together, your brother, Jacaerys Verlaryon. You love your brother very dearly. He's the kind of brother you always have fun with and who's there for you. As children, you played an incredible number of pranks and sometimes they went so far that the servants complained to your parents. When it got to the point where it seemed that Jace and you were not in control, they felt compelled to go to Daemon. They were sorry, because no one wanted to arouse the "wrath" of a dragon, but they had no other choice. If you were unlucky, Daemon would end up standing in front of you and giving you a telling off. But, what the servants didn't know, he could never keep it up for long when you looked at him with sad eyes and muttered "sorry daddy". You call him Daddy or Dad because you couldn't call him Daemon when you were a child. As a child, you wanted to call him Daemon, like all adults did. But all that came out of your mouth was "Dad". If you felt very close to him at certain moments or if you wished for something, it also became "Daddy". And to this day, you just call him Daddy. So the roles soon became clear, as soon as you were in trouble with Daemon, Jace would sent you ahead and let you call him daddy.

But when you were born, the shock was great. Your mother lay in labour on Dragonstone for over two days, even though a new life was to begin, it was a fight for life and death for Rhaenyra. Jace was already born on Dragonstone, as it was important for Rhaenyra to give birth to her children, heirs to the blood of Targaryen and the Iron Throne, on Dragonstone. Laenor was continuously by Rhaenyra's side and held her hand. Daemon was always close by to be there for your mother from a safe distance. Visibly nervous, he watched the birth. But when the maesters finally took you out and you took your first breaths in this world, your father got a fright that was quickly replaced by the feeling of joy and infinite love. As the maesters held you, your silver hair came out, your fair, porcelain skin seemed to reflect the incoming sun. Daemon knew at once, you were his daughter. When Rhaenyra finally held you in her arms, overjoyed, she simply smiled. She hugged you close to her and looked over at Daemon, who nodded lovingly at her. She looked down at you, stroking, your soft cheek as your eyes opened and Rhaenyra saw the most beautiful purple eyes she had ever seen. Laenor smiled and embraced Rhaenyra and you.

"She is the most beautiful girl in all the kingdom," gently he caressed your cheek, "What name shall she have?"

"Y/N Velaryon" says Rhaenyra with a loving smile on her lips. The understanding between Rhaenyra and Laenor was clear, everyone was allowed to have their lovers as long as the marital duties were fulfilled. Laenor was slow in fulfilling his marital duties, and so it came about from time to time that when Rhaenyra and Daemon met, they could not hold back their feelings for long.

The result of these actions was now you and that changed everything for Daemon. When he could finally hold you in his arms, it was over for him. He held you and you looked at him silently, this moment was so precious for him and he simply enjoyed this silence. When he tried to touch you, you reflexively grabbed his finger. His breath caught in his throat and he only had eyes for your small hand clutching his finger. He knew that he would not give you away.

That very evening Daemon went to Rhaenyra.

"I will take her to Viserys. I will tell him that she is my daughter and that he should confirm her legitimacy. She is no Velaryon, she is pure fire of the Targaryens."

Rhaenyra just stared at him at him. "You can't do that! Everyone would know I committed adultery! You can't, she must officially remain the daughter of Laenor."

Daemon began to smirk. "With all due love, but when you look at little Jace, do you really think anyone would think you hadn't committed adultery?"

"Daemon!", she looks at him in horror, "You can't go to my father and ask him to acknowledge my adultery and make her your daughter. No one in the entire realm has that right. Therefore, neither do you. Bastards of high Lords from all over the land would come and ask Viserys to recognize the legitimacy of these children."

"Rhaenyra, regardless of the love I have for you. But don't you ever dare call my daughter a bastard again. Viserys has the ability to recognize her and he will. I don't care about the rest of the realm. She is my daughter and she will be recognized as such."

"And what do you want to say to Laenor? Rub my adultery in his face publicly in front of the entire realm?"

"Oh come on! He lives just as happy a life, stuffed like a goose by his lover. Nothing is rubbed in his face, I have great respect for him, but I want the recognition that Y/N is my daughter. And besides, what are you trying to rub in my face by forbidding me to stand by my daughter in public?"

"He's right Rhaenyra." Suddenly Laenor stood in the room.

"Laenor...", she gasps as she turns towards the door.

"No he is right Rhaenyra. And you know that. She is his daughter. She has the Targaryen fire in her, the purple eyes, her soft white skin. He should have the chance to stand by his daughter publicly." Laenor simply nodded silently at Daemon.

So it came about that Daemon took you, his little dragon and Rhaenyra with him and they set off for King's Landing.

"We really need to sort this matter out urgently because…", King Viserys paused as he heard noises from outside. "There's a small council meeting going on right now, you can't just go in there. Prince Daemon…!" The guard tried to stop Daemon and grabbed him by the arm. With this movement, Daemon felt that the guard was getting too close to you. "If you don't get your arm out of my daughter's reach right now, I'll make sure you lose it altogether." And with that, the door opened and Viserys looked irritatedly at the entrance. Standing in the doorway was his brother, Daemon, with an infant in his arms. Right behind him stood his daughter, Rhaenyra. "Daemon, Rhaenyra? It's really good to see you, but as you can see, you're bursting right into a meeting of the small council."

"Viserys, brother, I have a very urgent matter to discuss with you." Viserys looked at him questioningly and hesitated briefly, "Daemon… please, go to the small hall, I will try to be with you as soon as possible." "Father… please, it is really urgent and we would be very much obliged if you could talk to us immediately"

And with these sentences Rhaenyra spoke for the first time for this recognition.

Rhaenyra was afraid. She wanted you to be recognised as Daemon's daughter, but at the same time she was worried about Jace. If you were legitimised, voices might be raised that if she had been unfaithful to Laenor before, she might have been so with her first child. And gods know what that was about. "Perhaps we can also postpone the last matter for today until tomorrow? It seems my brother and daughter have a big problem to discuss." Viserys spoke to his council, but could not take his eyes off the little bundle on Daemon's arm. The members of the small council nodded and then left the room.

Viserys looked helplessly into the faces of Daemon and Rhaenyra. "Can someone perhaps explain to me what is going on here?" Rhaenyra then took you from Daemon's arm and walked towards Viserys. She smiled warmly at him. "Father, this is your grandchild, Y/N. I gave birth to her, just about a week ago." Viserys was visibly moved. You were so small and delicate and had him wrapped around your finger immediately.

"Oh how delightful, this sweet little child. Hello my sweet darling." As Daemon stepped towards him, Viserys looked up. "As you can see, she is the pure flame of Targaryen blood. Her purple eyes, her porcelain-like skin, her shimmering silver hair." Viserys nodded silently, visibly pleased, he lowered his gaze to you again. "Brother, I want you to recognize her legitimacy." Viserys looked at him irritatingly, "Why should I recognize her legitimacy when she is obviously a Targaryen as well as my daughter's daughter?" "I am her father," Daemon said dryly. It seemed Viserys didn't quite understand at first. Or he didn't want to understand. A simple "How…?" left his lips. "Do you really want me to explain to you now how children are made, brother? Judging by Rhaenyra's three younger siblings, I'd say you're well aware of how it works." "Daemon!" Rhaenyra hissed.

"Oh thank you brother, but I can just about manage that. My question would rather be how it is that my daughter, who is married to Laenor Velaryon, manages to father a child with you"

"Father..," Rhaenyra said, but Daemon interrupted her.

"No, Rhaenyra, I want that legitimacy, I will talk," Daemon raised his hand slightly in her direction and then turned back to Viserys, "Viserys, brother, you know as well as I do that Laenor is neglecting his marital duties. I love Rhaenyra. Just as I loved her before she married Laenor, I still love her…" At these words Rhaenyra's heart warmed and she smiled. "…From that love, Y/N has now come forth. I love her, she is my daughter and I will not rest until she is officially recognized as that" "What..? ", Viserys looked irritatedly back and forth between Daemon and Rhaenyra, "Daemon, how do you imagine this? I just say she's your daughter and that's it? That's not possible."

"It is possible! You are the King! I ask you brother, and you know I don't ask often, but please, enable me to be a good father. Public, not behind any walls."

"I'm not quite sure… What does Laenor say about all this? Rhaenyra?" Rhaenyra stepped forward, now standing next to Daemon. She seemed hesitant, but was convinced she was doing the right thing, "It's definitely a complicated situation, father. But Laenor agrees. So am I. It's not easy and I'm afraid that in the process… Jace's lineage might be called into question, after all it would become official that I was unfaithful to Laenor at least once."

Daemon took Rhaenyra's hand in his and stroked it gently.

"But we agree, Daemon shouldn't be deprived of the opportunity to be a loving father. After all, we know he doesn't care for many people.”

Daemon smirked and looked at Viserys.

Viserys was torn, but finally said, "Okay. Daemon, I will. She will officially be your daughter. But I want you to always stand up for her, stand by her side and be a loving father."

"I stand here for nothing less. Thank you brother."

Viserys nodded and turned to Rhaenyra. "Have no fear. You are my daughter. The heir to the throne. Jace is my grandson and no one will question his lineage. I promise you that."

"Thank you Father", Rhaenyra smiled sweetly at him.

"And to you my little one, you are now officially a Targaryen. Y/N Targaryen."

Viserys kissed you lovingly on the forehead and handed you over to Daemon. When Daemon held you again, he looked at you. He smiled. The warm purple eyes that beamed at him warmed his heart. He kissed you gently on the forehead and murmured, "My little dragon." As Daemon and Rhaenyra left the room, they were happy. Rhaenyra had to wipe away a few tears, but she was happy.

_____________________________________________

You look up into your father's face, "Naah I'm fine. I'm just excited. I mean, I haven't seen my uncles and aunt in years… Haven't heard from them… That's weird. We kind of grew up together and then all of a sudden it was just nothing. I'm excited to see how they've changed."

"How Aemond changed?", Daemon looks at you with a smirk.

You blush and look at your father in shock. "Dad! No!"

Daemon raises his eyebrows and looks at you, "Well, this "no" came a little quickly", he still smirks at you.

"Well I mean.. yeah we were close but we haven't talked since and I don't even know if he still likes me or what he's like now", and your hands were fiddling with your dress again. Your mother recognises your distress and encourages you by taking hold of your knee.

"Everything's fine, it's going to be nice. We'll spend the couple of weeks here, enjoying the festivities for Aegon and Helaena's wedding, and then we'll head back"

You smile at your mother. And then you look at your father and you say, "Also, I'm nervous because I wasn't allowed to fly here with Meraxes. Now I don't have any kind of adequate defense when you're bugging me with statements like that."

Daemon just chuckles and looks at you naggingly. Rhaenyra scowls at Daemon, but he simply takes her hand and kisses it. As you roll your eyes and look out the window, you realize you've arrived. Now you are full of nervousness. As the carriages come to a halt, a voice outside the carriage calls out "Princess Rhaenyra Targaryen…" And with that you step out of the carriage behind your parents and see your relatives.

And you just smile.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

[oneshlut]

Hey, I just found your blog through a Varian headcanon and I’m in love! Could I humbly request a platonic Jax x reader where it’s the readers “birthday” (they day they came to the digital circus) and reader gets a bit down? I hope your day/evening/night is well, and remember to brush your teeth!

A/N: daaawww, hurt/comfort, my favorite (besides angst of course).. thanksies for the reminder--and for requesting, yesyes! hope you like what i did with this as much as you liked the var hcs :D (also super refreshing to see more platonic requests,)

OMG SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG LMAO

Turning.. Something (Jax & Reader) [Headcanons]

Rules For Requesting

Characters I Will Write For

Masterlist

Summary: It's your anniversary of arriving at the circus, your "birthday"! Unfortunately, birthdays at the circus serve only colorful cake and existential dread. Jax becomes worried for the first time in his life. (hurt/comfort)

Ah, holiday blues. Commonly associated with Christmas, of course, but also birthdays occasionally. Whether it be the fear of growing older, spending your birthday alone, or even being stuck in a digital reality where you can't remember your birthday so instead you have a one year anniversary as a stand in for a birthday. Whatever the existential crisis may be, they sure do suck! At least you can relate to Pomni now.

Birthdays in the digital world work a little bit differently than in the "real" world. Caine tries to track the time, but inevitably fails. Instead of celebrating your arrival once a year, you celebrate it when Caine feels it's been long enough. So your birthday is about once in a blue moon. However, when that blue moon hits, all the existential dread you left about 4 months ago all comes back to you. And suddenly the friends you've made.. didn't really matter. Not in the grand scheme of things. And, not to you.

That's where the isolating came in.

For the next few days after your "birthday", you didn't come out of your room for even a second. Surprisingly, your room was probably less colorful than the rest of the circus. Still colorful enough to give you a headache, though. You didn't have the motivation to leave either, it would all be the same anyway. You weren't close to abstraction, but you were definitely going to get there if you kept things up.

This thought worried Jax. And Jax never gets worried. At first, he brushed the situation off with comedy. Like he always does. With everything. But then as he's walking around the circus, he notices even less of you.

Jax isn't a bold person, but he definitely could be. This was one of those scenarios, one where he would take things into his own hands. Knocking on your door, he stayed patient for you to answer. Normally, he'd just yell for you to open the door when he wanted to hang out, but this was.. a different occasion.

Okay. Everything's fine. It's just been 22 knocks and they still haven't answered the door. He's sure they're alright. Not.

Eventually, his thoughts that wracked his head overcame him. With droopy ears and a heavy heart, he took out the key to your room, opening it with a slightly obnoxious creak.

If even possible, the sight of you curled up in a ball in the corner of your room had caused his ears to fall even farther from where they were before. Immediately dropping his persona, he fell to the floor on his knees to comfort you. Being probably the most serious he's ever been, he set a hand on your shoulder with caution.

You, on the other hand, felt horrible. First the horrid "birthday" you just had, and now you were just burdening someone else dealing with the same existential crap with your own problems. If only Jax wasn't so damn caring, then.. then. ..Hm.

Seriously? Jax? Caring about you? That sure wasn't on your birthday bingo card. If anything, you would've expected him to just pull a ton of pranks on you and make you feel even worse. Instead he was comforting you. Making you feel better.

Almost immediately, tears started flowing. Jax was saddened by the sight at first, but gave a bittersweet grin when you had launched into his arms for more comfort. Giving you silent sushes, he laid careful strokes on your back, making sure not to do anything more to upset you.

Somehow, you felt that your next birthday might be a bit better with Jax around.

[bird-inacage]

Love Sea Episode 4: Where Things Have Gone Astray

It pains me to say it, but I found Episode 4 sloppy in it's execution, direction and writing overall. (I'd like to preface that regardless of how much I like fortpeat, or have enjoyed the series for the most part, I personally think it's important to be able to critique a show when it's flaws present themselves, and not to blindly excuse those issues because we want so badly to like it).

The transition from island to Bangkok was a huge turning point in the story, and I'm disappointed to say it wasn't handled well. The episode felt very off-beat and clunky compared to the lovely moments we got last week. Most of the issues centre on inconsistencies in character trajectory that were set up by the end of Episode 3. So let's unpack what went wrong here.

Mut is brusquely given the cold shoulder

My biggest gripe is the treatment of Mut this episode and without good reason. Let's start by recognising that Mut has potentially left his entire way of life behind: his friends, his community, his livelihood - all on the possibility that Rak may come to love him. I don't think Mut's naively banking on this being forever, but the emphasis here is he's willing to give it all up. The lack of acknowledgement to this gesture was glaring. The boy is only 20 years old, may I stress. Rak knows the hardships that Mut has faced, which should make this sacrifice even more significant in my opinion. What little Mut has built from scratch, he's willing to leave behind. All for Rak.

Other than a few brief moments of Rak looking sheepish/guilty, he's very passive throughout. I was really hoping he'd display more initiative and maturity here as the older party (like he did at the end of Episode 3). Even more disappointingly, once they land in Bangkok, Rak has Mut trailing behind him and largely leaves him to his own devices. At points, Rak's attitude towards Mut feels borderline exploitative. Rak is the one who begged Mut to come with him, and now that he's there, he seems to be putting Mut on trial.

Mut's hospitality on the island was due to Rak being an outsider who was completely out of his comfort zone. Now they've essentially reversed the situation but somehow the default is still Mut making all the effort (and yes, I know he's getting paid, but the last 3 episodes have just attempted to establish that their relationship is beyond just monetary). We need to see some more active reciprocation from Rak that supports why he was so driven for Mut to stay with him.

We've also been shown that though Mut is incredibly patient, he's not a doormat. When Rak crosses a line, he does get angry. Mut ran away when his father offended his core values, so we know he's capable of putting his foot down. But Rak's treatment of him here roused no protest or questioning when it would be fully warranted. By the time they discuss the contract, it's a null confrontation as Mut has already conceded to Rak's demands by signing. I wish he stood up for himself more here.

Tongrak's change in demeanour

The Rak we see in Bangkok is how I would imagine his character to be at the beginning of the series. Slightly haughty and dismissive. But because our impression of Rak was intentionally reversed so early on - where we were shown his sensitivity and softness - to have him slip back into a standoffish persona gave me whiplash. Has Rak regressed to who he was prior to the island? Has his time with Mut not changed anything? We know it has, which is why this front feels performative. Why would Rak feel the need to play into this character when Mut's already seen who he is underneath? And what has triggered him to do so? His family haven't come into the picture yet. I don't think Rak really cares about Mook's judgement. So why?

I think it's a huge disservice to shrug this off with: 'oh it's because Rak has trauma', and that's why he's running hot and cold. Doing so only trivialises the magnitude of trauma as a 'convenient' excuse when the writing doesn't support itself well enough for a character's actions to feel convincingly well founded.

When I started Episode 4, I thought we'd missed a scene or were due a flashback that would signpost why Rak changed his mind. We're told it's because of his PA, but that doesn't hold up well because surely Rak would have factored that into the equation. There are plenty of ways they could have remedied this. They could have shown us that Rak was genuine in agreeing, but spirals over the enormity of such a decision afterwards, which leads him to back out. Or Rak agreed despite knowing full well he couldn't meet his promise, and only lied because he didn't want to hurt Mut's feelings. Or they could have included the phone call from his sister in this episode, which would indicate that Rak has bigger responsibilities outside of himself, which caused his decision to sway. But we didn't get anything to ground us to Rak's mindset this episode, so his mentality feels like a 180. It also makes his agreement to Mut feel flippant if all it took was for Mook to whine to change his mind.

I can accept Rak retreating emotionally out of pressure or worry, but it doesn't read that way. Instead, his actions and body language feel abruptly indifferent, oddly detached and cold. The contract just epitomises a clinical level of emotional distancing. Even when Mook voices her concerns, Rak looks exasperated. So this isn't presented to us as a reaction borne out of vulnerability. And because we don't see Rak mulling over any doubts about Mut or otherwise, his behaviour feels all the more sudden and incongruous.

Ultimately, Rak was the one who let Mut down. If Rak agreed to stay on the island because he truly cared about Mut, wouldn't he be feeling doubly guilty at present? Not only has he broken a promise, but Mut is making a huge compromise to pursue Rak. Yet, Rak's attitude seems to be: 'these are my terms, do you have a problem with that?' This challenging air feels out of place and counterintuitive to what they've set up so far. What has Mut done to deserve this? Why is Mut still the one accommodating and initiating, with seemingly no return?

When comedy is not your strong suit, do not lean into it

I have a real bone to pick with the 'humour' attempted in this episode. I know comedy is subjective, but these scenes are arguably the shows weakest moments. People underestimate just how hard it is to pull off comedy and to do it well. And the brand of humour they're going for comes across quite juvenile, slapstick or theatrical. Sadly it only magnifies Aya's acting as egregiously bad in this episode because Mook is leant on so heavily as comic relief.

Mook and Vi's presence as individuals and as a couple has also been very one-dimensional so far which doesn't help things. It's getting increasingly taxing to sit through their scenes when there's so little substance and depth there to root for. Trust me, I am trying to like them, but they're not making it easy.

At it's worst, filler offers us no further insight or advancement in either character or plot. Which inevitably makes you question why the run time is being wasted on excessively inconsequential material. That crime was being committed multiple times this episode.

This is not me writing off the series by any means. As I say in my introduction, I think it's extremely important as a viewer to retain the objectivity to recognise when there are speed bumps, dodgy choices or noticeable areas for improvement.

As I was writing this, I found myself going: 'I think I see what they were trying to go for here' and applying additional guess-work to fill in the gaps. But that's the issue. If the writing requires your viewer to do mental gymnastics to make it make sense, you've dropped the ball. I would heartily advocate for 'show, don't just tell'. But in this episode we neither get shown or told why our characters are acting like this, especially when it seems to contradict how we got here.

Let's hope next episode is only onwards and upwards.

[lovely-lauren-arts]

Bro lauren for me school starts in like 1 - 2 weeks and istg I am NOT ready to go back😭 And I'll tell you why

1. ALL of our breaks were shortened for NO REASON except for our like 2 months of after schools over.

2. The boys there. the first 'skibidi sigma alpha male ohio skibidi toilet' I hear from one of them I'm throwing myself out the window.

3. My sister won't be at the middle school anymore since she's a year ahead of me (She's been held back a few times though).

4. Mrs. Ma-rude-ass. (Nickname for a rude, strict and idiotic teacher we have.)

And so you don't kill me ill ask some questions.

1. How was school for you? If you feel like sharing, not forcing.

2. did any of the obe parents go to school?

3. Who owns the orphanage that beatrice and dolly were sent to?

4. how is your toe and your cat?

5. Do you know the music artist 'Yaelokre'?

Anyways hope you are ok, I'll stop my yap now.

1. Yeah they don't care. School is designed to create little workers. Don't let it suck out your creativity and imagination.

2. When I went to school, all the boys were shouting DEEZ NUTS but I bet it's even more brainrot now.

3. L

4. I had a very horrible, grumpy teacher and everyone called her Miss. Creature because that's what her last name sounded like.

1. School was fine. It could've gone a lot worse but also, I wish I could go back in time to redo it. I always felt a sense of isolation despite having a few friends.

I was in secondary school during 2011-2016. My friend, lets call him Biz, was a full on anime-lover and brony 🦄. He was kind creepy but he was a good friend. Most of my friends were a little quirky. But I haven't seen or talked to any of them since school.

Bullying wasn't really an issue. I did get some people say things to me and one girl even tried to fight me once because I had accidentally tripped her up but other than that, it wasn't as bad as I had prepared myself for it to be. But I didn't get the typical teenage experience since I didn't exactly fit in.

2. Yes but I don't have any information about that since it's not a focus.

3. A woman named Margaret. More about her will come soon.

4. Toe is getting better, thanks. I can walk better now but not for too long. And all the cats are good.

5. Yeah, kinda. I love that Harpy Hare song. But I haven't listened to anything else from the artist.

Hope you're ok too 💫

[maximoff-pan]

you, me, and the destruction | eddie munson

summary: 4 times eddie makes you want to die (metaphorically of course) and one time he makes you want to live

pairing: eddie munson x fem!reader

word count: 7k

warning(s): some swears, angst, mentions of death, definitely canon divergent (please don't come for me)

a/n: another 4 + 1, who could’ve guessed? I really, really struggled with this one, but I haven't written or posted a ton lately, so I thought why not... I do hope you enjoy, but I apologize because I know this will likely be difficult to follow along with/make no sense whatsoever, so if you make it through to the end, thank you!

Eddie Munson makes you want to die. 

Not like a funny and jokingly crude ‘ha ha you make me wanna hurl myself into the sun’ kinda die, but like a dead serious ‘if you don’t shut up I’m going to commit mass murder and it’s going to be your fault’ kinda die. He’s that irritating. (You say that both seriously and affectionately, because your opinion of him has certainly changed over the last little while)...

But it’s an interesting concept to consider when you break it down, just how aggravating he can be. Sometimes you wonder where he gets it from; who could have possibly created this freak? And then you remember who his friends are, and it all makes sense. 

Blood didn’t create him, they did. Although quite frankly, it was entirely mutual; they created each other. A mass of freaks fighting imaginary monsters.

Until one day, those monsters weren’t imaginary. And one day, you found yourself at Eddie Munson’s mercy. 

...It’s safe to say you’d known about the Upside Down for as long as the rest of your friends had, you’d been in on the insanity since the beginning. So, as you’d expect, it’s pretty hard to surprise you with anything. But when Eddie got accused of murder, and was dragged into the shit storm you call your life (again), he took it immensely well. Almost too well for someone whose livelihood was on the line. 

“You’re so fucking weird.” You’d said to him in disbelief and he’d smiled. 

“Pot, kettle.” He’d gestured to himself, and then to you with a grin. 

Those had been the first words you’d spoken to him since you’d been close friends a couple of years ago. It was also the first moment the ice started to melt between you and the first moment you'd allowed yourself to think about what you used to be.

The next moment followed shortly after. A trip through the Upside Down does that to you, creates bonds with the people you’d least expect. And as irritating as he was, that’s what you became: irrevocably bonded. Although, you’d still have your fair share of disagreements to come. 

The moment it all began to change is something you’ll never forget. It started off innocent; you’d thrown an effortless joke in the air trying to brighten the atmosphere of the group, when all of a sudden, you felt a sharp pain in your right shoulder. 

You recall turning to Steve in shock the second after Eddie had saved you from a group of demobats, completely gobsmacked. He’d just fucking jumped in front of you, no questions asked, with no regard whatsoever for his own well being. 

Fuck. You remember thinking. You were not about to be indebted to Eddie Munson. Not devastatingly ethereal Eddie Munson. Not your childhood-best-friend-turned-virtual-stranger Eddie Munson. But by God did you owe him your life. 

Once over the initial panic, even Steve had cracked up over the look on your face, not used to seeing you unsure of what to do. So, he did what he thought was best, nudging you with a blunt shove towards the man in question. 

“You're welcome.” Eddie had mumbled with a pouting huff. “‘S’not like I could’ve just died doing that or anything.” In your state, you’d been too stunned to say anything, let alone thank him. But you could understand where he was coming from. 

And it was cute, the way he grumbled, feeling underappreciated for his act of bravery. You’d managed to put aside your past differences, and your ultimate shock – because who knew Eddie had that in him – to eventually give him a solid pat on the back. Like a good, new, old friend(?) would. 

It was a weird feeling to get used to, you’d thought. ‘Hey man, thanks a million for saving my life and all…it’s not like I totally thought you hated me two minutes ago???’ 

You’d managed something a little more mature than that, approaching him with an edge of nervousness. Since when had he ever made you feel nervous? 

“I am grateful you know.” You’d surprised yourself with the sincerity that seeped from your tone. “You’re pretty cool Munson…much cooler than anyone gives you credit for.”

You could’ve sworn you’d seen him blush. And it was his turn to sheepishly admit your kindness meant something to him. You used to be everything to him after all, even if you had only been dumb teens. 

He’d rubbed at the back of his neck with a soft upturn of his lips. “Thanks.”

That was the day your relationship with Eddie started to become something again, not just acknowledgements of preconceived notions that you’d had about each other previously. But something real. Although, it didn’t change the fact that he was both entirely aggravating and also made you want to die sometimes. 

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

EXHIBIT A of Why Eddie Makes You Want to Die:

He just has to be right, all the time, even if it means crossing boundaries and using whatever leverage he has on you (but it’s all to protect you, so that makes it okay, right?)

“No.” Eddie cuts you off. “I won’t even consider that.”

“Eddie.” Steve sighs. He doesn’t like this plan either, but it’s the only one that makes sense. “She should be the one to go.”

“No.” He repeats. This time more adamant. He’s not about to let you walk into Creel House alone, especially not after what happened to Chrissy. 

“It’s the only way.” You try to reason, but he’s not having any of it. You roll your eyes at his bravado; who the hell does he think he is?

You feel like Eddie’s eyes are burning holes through your body, if they could widen any further you’re sure they’d pop right out of his skull. “I’m not gonna let you put yourself in danger like that…no way.”

You scoff, shaking your head in disbelief. “You’ve been back in my life all of a couple of days, and now you want to act like you have some kind of say?” 

Ouch. He recoils at the statement. Maybe you both had more to resolve than you’d thought.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” He asks, tone edging on anger.

“I’m not the one who walked out of your life Eddie.” You say, and from beside you, you can see the grimace that has made its way onto Steve’s face. He’s the only other person who knows the extent of your history. Everyone else simply has the cliff notes.

“That’s not fair and you know it.” Eddie bites back.

“Not fair?” You want to scream at him so badly, tear him a fucking new one. “Christ! You don’t see me telling you what you can and cannot do, especially considering you seem to love putting yourself in danger.”

“I saved your life!” He exclaims. “Remember that? Or was that too idiotic for you?”

And he’s right, he has you there. It’s infuriating… Even when he’s wrong, he’s right. 

“I never asked you to do that.” It’s unappreciative, sure, but it’s the only thing you can think to say in your state of frustration. 

“Fine.” He relents. “You’re right.”

Your brows pull together in discomfort. “That’s not—Eddie—”

“No.” He stops you, eyes daring you to overstep. “You’re right. I didn’t save you because you wanted me to, or because you needed someone to protect you. I saved you because I wanted to. Because I fucking need you! Is that what you wanna hear?” His voice breaks the louder it gets, and you’re stunned. It feels like things escalated so quickly, and yet you know it’s been building for years. 

“Even after all this time…” he continues, the crack in his armor growing with each second, “because I’m selfish, and I couldn’t just watch you die. Not like her.”

Realization dawns on you. You’d forgotten all about it; how he’d watched Chrissy die. Survivor’s guilt is written all over his face, he’s begging for some kind of relief from it. And despite your differences, he still cares about you more than you can understand.

He’s right. Again. 

He may have leveraged saving your life to prove it, but that doesn’t reverse what he did to protect you. 

“I’m sorry.” He says. It comes out pained, nearly a whisper. “If I could go back…”

He doesn’t finish the sentence, but you know. You nod at him, a representation of a silent acknowledgment and acceptance of his apology, and an agreement to work on whatever this is. Whatever it may become. 

And in that moment, it’s the heartbroken look in his gaze that has you feeling so shitty. Like death had whipped out a pitchfork and stabbed you in the back.

Eddie Munson has much more control over you than you’d once thought, even more so now that he’s seemingly back in your life for the long haul. Because if you’re sure of anything, it’s that he’s not going to let you go. Not after what you’ve just been through.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

EXHIBIT B of Why Eddie Munson Makes You Want to Die:

He makes stupid assumptions without thinking them through, especially when it comes to your friendship (but you do too, so that makes it okay right?)

If someone had told you one month ago that Eddie would walk back into your life, you would have laughed them out of Hawkins. 

The way your friendship had ended the first time had left things tense between you, and you weren’t sure if there was anything left to be salvaged. But after surviving what you had in the summer of ‘86 baby, as Eddie had called it, you’d promised to try and make it work.

So you did. As of now, you’ve spent the last number of weeks hanging out with your collective group of world saving friends, bonding over shared trauma and all the things that come with it. And that includes repairing your relationship Eddie. As hard as that has been.

Because while you know he’s genuine, and he wants to be on good terms as much as you do, it’s not easy to forgive and forget. 

But despite your fears, you’ve started spending time together one on one, no one else there to buffer the tension. Dustin had recommended it, a weekly movie night to get you more comfortable with each other, and to hopefully hash things out properly. In the interest of friendship, Henderson had quipped, because even he could see there were things between you that had been left unsaid. 

And while there are moments here and there where you want to throw yourself out your bedroom window because Eddie is being so fucking insufferable, or you want to build a wall of protection around yourself again because you’re afraid of what trusting him will do to you, there are also moments where you remember just how much you once loved him. 

This, tonight, is not one of those moments. 

“Can we talk?” Eddie clicks the pause button on the remote, leaving Marty McFly’s incredulous expression and his famous ‘“Wait a minute, Doc. Are you telling me you built a time machine…”’ frozen in a motionless frame.

It feels ominous, but you don’t verbally object. “Okay.” You nod, although it’s dark, so you’re not sure he can see you. You’re almost hoping he can’t.

He releases a sigh, something that sounds like he’s been holding onto it for a long time. “I wanna talk about how things ended between us.” He says as he reaches over to flick on the lamp in your living room. 

“We can do that.” Apprehension is floating in the cadence of your tone. Things were just starting to become normal again…it feels like a bit of a risk to dig up your past like this. Not that you have much of a choice in the matter. 

You’re more than aware that Eddie’s been eager to talk about it. It’s you who’s been avoiding this for weeks, despite knowing how inevitable and needed this conversation is. You just don’t want to ruin the trust you’ve been rebuilding. 

“Where do you want to start?” You pose, giving him control of the situation.

“I guess,” he fiddles with the rings on his fingers, “I want to start by apologizing again.”

“You don’t have to do that.” You protest. Since he’s been back, he’s done nothing but apologize a million times over. And the more he does, the more feelings it stirs up. 

“No, I do.” He states. “I’m sorry. I never should have done that to you. I never should have shut you out like that.”

His eyes hold so much sincerity, it almost makes you want to cry. “It’s uh–” you struggle to get the words out. You don’t want to relive it, nor do you want to admit the part you played in it. Because it’s much easier to make him the villain than to implicate yourself in this web of chaos you’ve spun yourself.

Though, it’s time for you to admit your responsibility. A friendship doesn’t end just because of one person. You gave up too, as difficult as that is to admit. “It’s not your fault.” You say sadly. “I know it seems like I put all the blame on you for what happened to us, but I’m just as responsible as you.”

Eddie smiles sadly in remembrance. He’s pretty sure he knows where you’re going with this. “If you’re going to apologize for not coming to my band’s first concert when you were sixteen, that’s so not something you need to apologize for. Honestly, that’s not even why I was mad.”

At the time he had been pretty pissed, so he can see why you’d be worried about it, though you needn’t be.

Your lips purse in thought. “I’ve regretted that decision for three years. To me, that was the beginning of our end. And I was the one who started it.”

“(Y/n), c’mon.” He shakes his head. “You can’t blame yourself for that. It had nothing to do with anything.” It really didn’t. The root of your problems was much bigger, and much darker. 

You puff out a strangled breath of air, tone dead serious.“But I deserve to.” You state. “I was a pretty horrible friend to you. You’d been talking about that show for weeks, and I wasn’t there to support you, especially after all the times you’d been there for me.” 

Especially after I saw what hides in the shadows, and I changed. The thought sits on the edge of your tongue, another one left unsaid. 

A softness rests on his face as he reaches over to place a comforting hand on your arm. He picks up on your implication. “If I knew what you were going through, I could have been there for you more. Instead, I abandoned you, all because of some stupid misunderstanding.”

The look of confusion that crosses your face is unmistakable. “I’m not sure I follow.” You genuinely thought that concert had been the catalyst.  

He tilts his head with a grimace. “Steve didn’t tell you?”

Eyebrows raised in curiosity, you tread carefully. “Harrington’s told me nothing. I couldn’t be any more clueless.” 

“Oh.” Eddie sighs. “I thought for sure you knew about it.”

You shake your head, jaw clenched. “No.” You pull back your hand from his touch, turning to sit cross-legged on your couch. “But I'm getting the feeling I'm missing something pretty big..." You meet his gaze sharply. "Is Steve the reason you stopped being my friend?”

Eddie’s eyes widen. You sound so serious it almost scares him. “No.” He’s quick to say. “Not exactly.”

“So he is involved?”

“Sort of.” He utters trying to backtrack. “It’s stupid now that I think about it.”

Your gaze narrows. “Eddie. If it was enough to end our friendship, it wasn’t stupid.”

The air in the room feels like it’s thickening with every breath you take. What could Steve have possibly done to influence him? 

“You can tell me Ed.” Your voice is firm but comforting. “I promise I won’t get mad.”

He swallows the lump in his throat, a little apprehensive, but abides by your request. “It was on a Tuesday in December — I remember because of how cold it was, and because of everything that was happening with Will, after he’d seemingly come back from the dead  — and I heard you and Harrington talking.”

You nod, following along. “I remember that day too.” Your voice is laced with sadness. That was the day your friendship started to crumble. 

“I hated him back then. So much so, I almost wanted to kill the guy.” He asserts. “And then I saw you with him, how comfortable you were with each other, and I couldn’t believe you could even be around him like that after everything he’d put us through.” 

“Oh, Eddie.” You say. Steve had never done much directly to hurt you, but he’d also never stopped his friends from inflicting their cruelty. He was a bystander to the pain they caused, with the power to end it all. And that made Eddie despise him.

He smiles sadly. “I remember Steve telling you that you could never say anything about it to me.” He places the ‘it’ in air quotes. “I didn’t have the context I do now, but he was so serious about it. I figured you were dating or something and he didn’t want me to find out about it, because he knew–”

He knew how I felt about you. He wants to say, but doesn’t. 

“And the way he hugged you. I felt sick.” Eddie continues. “I couldn’t understand it. And then after that day, you started pulling away from me…I know now it was because you were trying to protect me from everything, but back then,” he pauses for a moment. “I thought it was my fault.”

“Oh, God.” You feel like you’re going to cry. Hearing his side of the story is like putting all the pieces of a thousand piece puzzle together for the first time. “It was never your fault Eddie. You have to know that.”

He nods slowly in understanding. It’s crazy what hindsight can do. “I knew you were hiding something, I just didn’t know it was that big. And so, like an idiot, I let Jeff convince me you were just like everyone else…” He stops for a moment to collect his breath. A tear escapes; you watch as it rolls down his cheek. “And then I cut you off.”

“Hey.” You reach for him, pulling him gently into a hug. You snake your arms around his back, letting his head rest on your shoulder as you hear him begin to cry. “It’s okay. It’s okay.” You soothe. “We’re okay.”

This isn’t the first time you’ve seen Eddie cry, but it certainly hurts the most. Despite everything you’d put each other through, you’d never want him to feel this way. 

“I’ve got you.” You murmur softly. “Always and forever, yeah?” 

Your utterance of the promise you had made to each other as little kids stirs something in his chest. You’d promised to always be friends. 

He lets out a half chuckle, half sob as he pulls himself back to meet your gaze. Your eyes search his; they’re filled with so much worry and so much love, Eddie feels whole. 

“Always and forever.” He whispers. 

And maybe this can be the start of a new beginning. A new kind of trust that is undeniably raw, but stronger than it has ever been. 

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

EXHIBIT C of Why Eddie Munson Makes You Want to Die: 

He makes your heart stop at the strangest of moments (but you want him to, so that makes it okay right?)

“You’ve gotta be kidding me Harrington.” The sound of Eddie’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts, and has you abandoning your assigned task of reshelving all of Family Video’s recently returned movies.

It’s been a couple months since you’d finally talked about everything, and honestly, things have been much better since. You’d gotten a job working with Robin and Steve, and weekly movie nights with Eddie have been going strong. Sometimes you just talk, and it’s really nice. 

“Sorry man.” Steve’s tone is anything but sorry. He’s leaning against the front till, an exasperated Eddie waiting on the other side. “I couldn’t hold onto it for you. Keith has been on my ass about not withholding the merchandise from customers just because my friends wanna see ‘em.”

“What’s this about?” You step into the conversation out of curiosity.

Robin chuckles. “Eddie’s been trying to get a copy of Top Gun again.”

“For weeks! I’ve been asking for weeks!” Eddie groans. “But Harrington’s butter fingers keep letting it slip from my grasp.” 

You smile at the remark. Your friendship with Steve has managed to stay intact, despite your discovery of his involvement in ending your relationship with Eddie. The night of your big breakthrough, you’d later found out that Steve had told Eddie to keep his distance from you, ‘if you know what’s good for you Munson’, Steve had threatened him…which when you’d found out, it had you seeing red. Eddie had assured you that Steve was only looking out for you, but at the time, it had been quite difficult for him to understand. 

Unbeknownst to Steve though, you’ve both forgiven him. ‘He doesn’t even need to know.’ You’d agreed. It was better to keep him in the dark than to create problems where they didn’t need to exist. 

“Hey, I’m just following orders.” Steve feigns innocence, arms raised in defense.

“Since when have you ever followed orders?” Robin questions, surprised. 

Fingers tapping the counter in amusement, you smirk. “Since he scored a date with some hot blonde who works at the arcade –who’s totally smokin’ by the way, nice job –” you send Steve a smug nod, “and he needs the money to take her out.”

“Ergo,” Steve muses, “I can’t afford to get fired.” 

“Pathetic.” Eddie tuts. “I can’t believe you’re doing this all for some girl.” He winks at you in amusement and you stifle a laugh. 

Steve’s honey orbs catch yours for a moment before he speaks, “Like (Y/n) said, this girl happens to be totally smokin’—way outta my league—and I’m not about to get myself fired and lose my only source of income just so you can hoard Top Gun from the rest of Hawkins.”

“Hoard?” Eddie’s voice is on the verge of being shrill. “I haven’t even seen the movie once!”

“Oh, well in that case…” Steve trails sarcastically. At Eddie’s dejected gaze he relents, “I am sorry though, truly.” He’s not even a little sorry.

“No no, I get it. I just thought our friendship meant more to you.” Eddie mocks pure disappointment. “I guess I was wrong.”

He almost pulled the ‘after everything we’ve been through’ card, but decided against it. Eddie’s saving that for when he really needs it. 

You snicker at the interaction, adding fuel to the fire, “Whatever happened to the sanctity of bros before hoes Harrington?” 

“Ah, my dear (Y/n). Clearly Steve here has lost any semblance of loyalty to the bro code.” Robin chimes in. “He’s got babes on the brain.” She wiggles her fingers mockingly. 

“How tragic.” Is your response. 

Steve scoffs at the remark, unimpressed. “Hey, it’s not like I’m the only one that works here.” He says. “If you were smarter,” he directs to Eddie, “you’d have asked either of them to put their neck out on the line to hold onto it for you.”

“We are more reliable.” You agree.

Robin grins. “And I don’t need this job that bad.” She states teasingly. “Plus, I fucking hate Keith, so even if I did need this job, I’d risk it to piss him off…”

Eddie laments adamantly. “You jest, but this is a big deal!” 

And it almost makes you laugh how serious he is about it, because the rest of you couldn’t give a damn about the ability to get your hands on Top Gun. Sure, it’s a good movie, and sure, you’d be happy to watch it again, but you’re not that eager. If he’d wanted to watch it that badly, he probably should have just asked. 

It’s not like you work in the movie store or anything…quite honestly, you’d swiped a copy off of Keith a few weeks ago and had forgotten to bring it back. Eddie could have watched the movie twenty times over if he’d bothered to say anything to you. 

In amusement of that fact, this is the moment you decide to reveal the information that could have ended this conversation minutes ago. 

“Would this be a bad time to tell you that I have a copy of the movie at home?”

“You–what?” Eddie exclaims, eyes wide in your direction. He places a hand on your arm without any thought, turning you towards him abruptly. “Jesus Christ woman, you could’ve led with that!” 

His eyes meet yours and all time seems to stop. As your breath catches in your throat, you feel like you’re going to die (maybe that’s a little dramatic, but it feels true in the moment). You’d wanted to quip back with something witty, but you can’t find the words, losing yourself in the pool of his amber orbs. There’s a fluttering in your stomach that won’t go away, daring to grow.

And you sigh. Since when had Eddie been so pretty? Since when had he ever made you feel like this? Fuck, you beg with your conscious, please say something, anything…You can’t be falling for him, this cannot be happening. 

Robin giggles at the interaction (and she never giggles). This has been the most fun she’s had in a while, watching your usually calm demeanor fall apart. “Where’s the fun in that?” She poses in your defense, finally breaking the silence. 

Steve snickers with her, standing with his hands on his hips, unfazed by your sudden muteness. He’d predicted you’d fall victim to Eddie’s charm sooner or later. He’s just happy he’s getting to watch it happen. 

“Y’alright?” Eddie asks, grin so wide and so cheeky that you’d swear he could read your mind. He knows. He fucking knows. “You kinda zoned out there for a second.”

You blink in surprise, trying to bring yourself back into focus. “Yeah.” But you don’t sound convinced, and neither are your friends. “Yeah I’m fine. ‘Was just a little surprised by the outburst.”

“Oh.” He rubs the side of your arm in apology.

“Yeah.” You mumble. The tension in the room has seemingly skyrocketed. You’re not sure if he feels it, but you definitely do. Even Steve and Robin, who are watching silently from the counter, feel it building. It’s awkward, and overtly palpable. But it’s also really sweet. 

“So,” Eddie asks, pulling his hand back from rubbing your arm. He reaches it back to rub at his own neck in nervousness. “Top Gun on Friday?” 

You nod, a breathy “yeah” escapes your lips. It seems to be the only word you can manage.

Something’s obviously just happened between you, (at least for you), and it’s something you’d rather not admit. In this moment, you’d like nothing more than to curl into a ball and simply pass away from embarrassment. 

All because of Eddie Munson. 

•°•°•°•°•°���°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

EXHIBIT D of Why Eddie Munson Makes You Want to Die:

He has the ability to break your heart (but you’re dumb enough to let him, so that makes it okay right?)

Wednesday rolls around, then Thursday, and now you’ve reached Friday. You haven’t spoken to Eddie since your shift on Tuesday, your plans to watch Top Gun are supposedly still a go. But you’re honestly not sure. 

You haven't gone this long without talking to him since you’d stopped talking altogether three years ago. And that makes you a little nervous. 

“(Y/n).” Dustin groans, pulling you out of your thoughts. “You’ve got to stop worrying about this.”

You pace through your kitchen, opening the oven door after shutting off the beeping timer. Pulling out a tray of chocolate chip cookies, you slide them onto the counter. “I can’t.” You admit to the teen. 

He’s just watched you stress bake for the last two hours, and it’s safe to say you almost have enough cookies to feed the entire town. 

“Take a breath.” He says, grabbing one of the fresh cookies from the tray. “Shit.” He hisses as it burns his hand. 

You swat it from his grasp, earning a quiet splat onto the floor. “Here.” You hand him one of the cooler batches…still warm enough to be gooey, but not hot enough to kill his taste buds. 

“Thanks.” He smiles sheepishly. Mouth full he mutters, “He’s gonna be here.”

“How can you be so sure?” You ask, your jaw clenched in apprehension. “I haven’t talked to him since Tuesday and I feel like he’s been avoiding me.”

“I know Eddie better than most.” Dustin licks some of the remaining chocolate off his fingers. “You’re his best friend, who he obviously has feelings for. He’s probably just overthinking things like always.”

You totally gloss over the Eddie having feelings for you part – you’re not about to open that can of worms – and skip straight to seeking reassurance. “Yeah?”

“I’m positive.” Dustin asserts. 

You inhale slowly, exhaling a quick puff of air. “Yeah.” You respond, voice trailing slightly. “I’m sure you’re right.”

A silence floats between you as the curly haired boy grabs another cookie and wolfs it down. He smiles at you in thanks. You follow his lead, taking one for yourself and relishing in the comfort the taste brings you. It feels like home. 

“He used to talk about you all the time.” Dustin cuts in abruptly, cookie long gone. You swallow a bite of yours in surprise. 

“What do you mean?” You question, brows furrowed.

He elaborates, “Before he got dragged into everything and you weren’t even speaking, Eddie would talk to me and Mike, telling us about the importance of friendship, how you can’t let the people you care about go.” He pauses thinking back on the memory. “After a few minutes, I gathered he was talking about you. I mean, I knew you used to be friends, but I didn’t know just how much you cared about each other. It sounded like he was talking about the love of his life, someone who he’d thought he’d let get away and he was punishing himself for it.”

“C’mon Dustin.” You protest. “We’re friends. Friends care about each other.”

“Not like that.” He scoffs. “You’re always checking up on each other, and the fucking doting,” he states with a groan. “It’s almost sickening how you two can be in a room full of people and act like you’re the only ones there.”

You bite the inside of your cheek, suddenly very self conscious. “Am I really that obvious about it?” 

“Totally.” His grin is wide. He sounds excited talking about you and Eddie, like he’s somehow invested in the outcome. And you suppose he is. 

When you had first met Dustin, officially and not just in passing, he had been pretty adamant on setting you up with Steve. It makes you laugh to think about it now…you and Harrington? God no. But when Dustin saw you interact with Eddie, he witnessed real human chemistry for the first time. Your history was undeniable. And even though the tension had been so palpable he could hardly breathe, he knew you’d found your perfect match. Again. Eddie had just so happened to stumble back into your trauma-filled dumpster fire of a life when you needed him most. 

The memory fades as you catch each other’s gaze. And the next thing out of Dustin’s mouth catches you completely off guard. 

“Steve told me on Tuesday, he thought you were going to jump each other’s bones on the Family Video returns table.”

You almost choke on the cookie you had just been chewing. “He said what?!” The look on your face is incredulous. “Steve really shouldn’t be talking to you about things like that.”

“Relax.” He puffs out his chest. “I’m fifteen and I have a girlfriend. You can’t seriously think I’m that naive.”

“I guess.” You secede, still thinking of him as the little kid you and Steve fought demogorgons with at the abandoned junkyard. “But anything Steve told you is bullshit — nothing of that sort happened, it was only a moment.”

“A momentary eye fuck you mean.”

You shake your head in mock disappointment. “Jesus Dustin, no.”

“Fine, fine.” He relents, arms raised in defense. “But if you want my honest opinion,” he says more seriously now. “I've seen Eddie with you in his life, and I’ve seen him without — trust me, he’s much happier when you’re around.”

Your gaze softens at his authenticity. “You really think so?” 

He nods. “Know so.”

Dustin’s right. Maybe you're just letting your insecurities get the better of you. Or maybe you have a right to be nervous. He’d walked out of your life once, what’s to stop him from doing it again?

It really doesn’t take much for you to realize the power Eddie has over you. If he wanted to, he could take your heart (which already so dangerously belongs to him), and shatter it into an insurmountable number of pieces. Quite honestly, that might be the most terrifying thing about having feelings this big. You’d barely survived losing him the last time, and that was before you’d even considered admitting there might be something more between you.  

You’re not sure what you’d do now, or if you’d even come out of it alive. Physically you’d likely be fine, but mentally and emotionally? You’d be better off dead. 

You’re caught by surprise when Dustin is suddenly nudging you, hissing at you – something about answering something – and your attention snaps to him. 

“(Y/n).” He waves, pointing towards the phone.

It rings on the wall beside you, breaking the flow of your vulnerable thought pattern. You reach over to pick it up, Dustin taking this as a chance to pop another cookie in his mouth. 

 “(L/n) residence.” You answer.

“Hey.” Eddie’s voice travels through the receiver. 

“Hi.” You respond, trying not to sound too excited. You don’t want to scare him away. 

From the other side, he smiles; he’d missed talking to you. After Tuesday, he’d struggled with whatever moment had happened between you. His mind couldn’t process the thought that maybe you felt the same as him and he needed time to think it all through.

“Sorry for not calling earlier.” He says. “I just wanted to make sure we’re still on for tonight?”

A grin creeps its way onto your face. Dustin stops himself from laughing at the look that’s adorning your features. “Of course!” You fiddle with the phone cord anxiously. “My place at 7?”

“Sounds good.” He murmurs. 

“Great, okay.” You reply. “See you then.”

“See ya.” He says.

You hang up the phone with the biggest sigh of relief. “Fuck.” You breathe. 

“I told you he’d be here.” Dustin’s grin is smug. Shit eating doesn’t even begin to cover it.

You agree begrudgingly. “You did. I promise not to doubt you next time.”

He chuckles. “I’ll be sure to remind you of that next time I do something incredibly stupid.”

“Very funny.” You grimace slightly, feeling like your heart is beating out of your chest.

Dustin notices quickly and eyes you in amusement, no concern whatsoever for your current state of being. “You okay?” He asks out of pure enjoyment.

“Yeah.” You smile, breathing slowly to try and slow your heartbeat. “Just, why does it feel like this? Talking to Eddie, it’s never been like this.”

Dustin laughs. “Because you’re in love with him. And now you know it.” 

Love feels like too strong a word, and simultaneously not strong enough.

“Shit…” You groan, dragging it out like your life depends on it. Your head falls into your hands and you swear you can feel the vainglorious pride radiating from Dustin’s direction. He’s so satisfied with himself it almost makes you laugh. 

Fuck that little shit. You hate that he’s right. You hate even more how defenseless this makes you. 

You can’t believe you’ve given Eddie the key to your heart. There was a time a few years ago where you had been sure it would happen. That was, before everything fell apart. Though you suppose, despite all the obstacles along the way, it was only a matter of time. 

It still shocks you nonetheless.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

+ 1

The end credits roll across your television screen, Tom Cruise and Top Gun the only ones you’re really able to pay attention to. You’d seen this movie before…it wasn’t like you really needed to watch out for anything. If you’re being honest, you had so much more to focus on.

Like the beginning of your night for instance…

Eddie had arrived perfectly on time with a bag of microwavable popcorn, and a shy greeting. There hadn’t been much talking since, apart from a couple apologies when your hands would graze while reaching into the bowl for a popcorn kernel or two. Or when you had to pause it so Eddie could go use the restroom. It was totally and utterly bizarre how quiet it had been, unlike any of your previous movie nights where you’d regularly quip stupid lines, mocking the characters back at each other.

Awkward doesn’t even begin to explain it. And the tension was so thick — what’s that saying? — you could cut it with a knife…You'd need a pretty sharp damn knife.

“So,” you start by flicking on the lamp beside you, hoping to relieve some of the stiffness in the room, “what’d you think? Was it as good as you were expecting?”

Truth be told, Eddie hadn’t paid attention to a single second. And for all the weeks he’d begged Steve for a copy of the movie, the second he got the chance to watch it, all he could focus on was you. 

“I wouldn’t know.” He answers honestly. “I can’t remember.”

You tilt your head in confusion. “But we just watched it.”

“I didn’t.” His voice is so soft, yet so serious. “Couldn’t focus.” He furthers. 

“Then what were you focusing on?” You’d be lying if you said you weren’t hoping he was thinking of you.

He shrugs, but you can tell there’s more to it. He’s trying to be nonchalant so you think he’s calmer than he actually is. 

“Us.” He nearly whispers. “You, me — whatever line we’re teetering on crossing. I can’t get it out of my head.”

His words strike a chord with you. “Neither can I.” You admit. “I’m uh, I’m sorry for making things awkward on Tuesday, I just, something felt—”

“Different.” He finishes for you. That’s the word you’d been looking for. 

“Yeah.” Is your quiet response. “Scary different,” you elaborate, “but good different.”

He hums in agreement. “So it wasn’t just me then?” He asks hopefully. “Because I was certain you’d finally realized how I felt about you and just didn’t know how to let me down easy.”

A delicate laugh bubbles from your throat. “When you touched me, my mind went into overdrive and all I could think about was how much I wished this could be all the time.” You tell him your perspective, and a smile grows on his face. “And it was terrifying, because I hadn’t had thoughts or feelings like that since…” You trail, but he knows exactly what you mean.

“I don’t think I ever stopped having feelings for you.”

That causes your heart to clench. 

“Can I kiss you?” You ask, taking Eddie by surprise. It’s not too sudden by any means, but he had always thought he’d be the one to make the first move, if it ever happened. 

But, he supposes, he should’ve expected it from you. You’d always been ten steps ahead of him.

He blinks, still in disbelief. “Please.” He mumbles. “Tell me this is real.”

You smile, scooting forward to place a soft slow kiss on his lips. “It’s real.” You murmur against him. “I promise.”

His breath is airy and light against your skin as he captures your lips in another kiss, this time needier. He’s been waiting for a moment like this for years, and he’s not about to let you slip out of his grasp. Your arms wrap around his shoulders as you begin playing gently with his hair. At the action, he shifts you inevitably closer, lips coming down to rest in the crook of your neck.  

“God, you have no idea what you do to me.” Eddie hums, pulling away to get a good look at your face. 

You look perfect, your eyes filled with wonderment, like a rose in first bloom. “If it’s anything like what you do to me,” your lips part effortlessly as you lean in to whisper in his ear, “then I have a pretty good idea.”

A shiver runs down Eddie’s spine. This feels like a dream, this has to be a dream. To further convince himself it’s not, he runs a hand down your cheek, eyes searching yours for any sense of regret or mistrust. 

He can’t find any, and neither can you. 

“I love you.” He lets it drift from his mouth with ease. It’s not the first time he’s told you he loves you, but it’s the first time he’s said it like this. 

“I love you too Eddie.” Being sure to add it, you quip teasingly, “forever and always.” A reassurance from your childhood.

He laughs at the remark. A true laugh, filled with a melodic tone and pure contentment. “Forever and always.” He repeats. 

As he pulls you into his side, you let your head rest on his chest, feeling it rise and fall with each breath. The silence feels comfortable, nice even. And for the first time in a really long time, you feel happy.  

So yeah, sometimes he makes you want to die. But he also, equally shows you that as long as there’s a breath left in your body, that life is worth living.

Eddie Munson, as much as he makes you want to die, he makes you want to live. 

[possamble]

⭐️

hee hee i know i probably should have consolidated all the stars into one post but im gonna use this as an excuse to talk about multiple sections lmao

This is another part in chapter 4 that people haven't said too too much about for understandable reasons--it mostly just reads like a fluffy flashback to add to the emotional distress of the current situation:

(It stopped after a few months. Falin never really knew why, nor did she think very much of it — not until it came up in conversation again some years after the fact. “I guess I just felt really awkward — I knew you were a quiet kid, so I felt like I had to compensate, maybe,” Marcille admitted with an apologetic laugh. “It took me a while to realize you didn’t care if I had anything to say or not.”  “That’s not true…”  A brighter laugh, this time. “I didn’t mean it like that. It was more… hm… how do I put this?” She tapped her bottom lip with her finger and stared at the ceiling a bit, ears tilting slightly downwards. “More like, you didn’t mind if I didn’t feel like talking.” “Why would I mind?”  Marcille smiled at her warmly — it was a special smile, one that Falin loved, because Marcille was always smiling brightly and cheerfully. Or, she was calm and graceful, guiding the other students through a difficult concept with all the gentleness in the world.  But this one was soft and warm and so very sincere, Falin couldn’t help but hope she was the only person Marcille smiled like this for.  “Exactly.”  Falin didn’t get it — but then Marcille draped her arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer, so she guessed it was fine if she didn’t. “Maaan, you’ve been growing like a weed lately — I can’t even fit you under my arm anymore!” Marcille threw her other arm around Falin too, clinging close and nuzzling the side of her head. “What am I gonna do if you get as tall as I am? Just stop growing and stay like this forever, I’m begging you—!”)

But! It's kind of one of my own favourite parts about this chapter because of how one-sided and limited the perspective is here: we're seeing Marcille through Falin's eyes, in the form of a memory, from when she was a kid.

My primary focus in this scene was to capture a floaty, kind of detached approach to other people that Falin had as a child--it wasn't that she didn't care, it was more of a childlike resignation that she doesn't understand people, never will, and just kind of going with the flow. She hadn't really learned to mask or be vigilant towards other people's moods yet, in essence. I hope that you can clearly read Falin's detailed and attentive adoration of Marcille juxtaposed with a deeply uncurious attitude towards Marcille's inner thoughts and feelings beyond what she's willing to share.

The other thing I wanted to show was a glimpse of just how much Falin was also Marcille's first friend outside of her family in ways that were so important to her, even if Falin never realized. In my head, the way she approached her social life was colored by some weird and deeply rooted belief that no one would ever bother with her if she wasn't as smart as she was. She had trouble getting accepted into schools as a kid, meaning that she and her parents did apply and were rejected--the magic academy is the first time she's ever been able to be in a social environment without her family, and she got in because she was already an accomplished mage who was fully qualified to be in the research track.

So for Falin to make her feel safe, and like she didn't have to be either helpful or entertaining for someone to enjoy her company meant a great deal to her. Falin didn't care, and couldn't even conceive of a reason why anyone would dislike that Marcille didn't have interesting things to say all the time. In much more subtle ways, Falin's unconditional acceptance of Marcille was much of a first and a revelation for Marcille as Marcille was to Falin.

(So it's unfortunate that there's such a disconnect--Falin thinks that Marcille is just uncomfortable with her like a stranger again. Marcille, on the other hand, is freaking out because her anxiety and insecurity have been renewed, and she doesn't really know how to handle the fact that she wants Falin to find her attractive and interesting and all that.

In a happier and lighter story, this would all be resolved without further hurt and miscommunication :) but we all know that's not what you're here for.)

[21aurora]

Unbreakable promises | Levi Ackerman

Notes : Levi x Baker!f reader, soft Levi , Season 4 , after the war , fluff

Summary : Levi returns to you after the war

I was sitting in my bakery , reading those letters that he used to send me.

Even though his letters had been interrupted for a year , I still kept every letter from him hoping that he would return as he promised me Before departing for his mission .

Months had elapsed since the end of the war, I haven't been able to gain any knowledge about him since , No matter how much I ask or how much I try to find him I don't Obtain any useful information , I have no clue except that I trust that he will stay alive , He always keeps his promises, so he can't break them this time, right?

Now, after a month or a year , The only thing I'm aware of that he always comes back to me no matter how long he is gone, he always finds his way to me .

I smell his handkerchief that he gave me before he left, his smell is still lingering in it.

It enhances my nostalgia , but it makes me come back to life for even a few seconds , since he left and I feel like I am losing myself with him, It was as if my soul had accompanied him and left me , as a helpless body just waiting for his return.

I read the first letter I received from him, It was awhile after my brother's death. he was apologizing for the death of my brother In one of the missions against the titans , who was his companion in the Survey Corps, putting the blame on himself.

I remember how much I cried at that time, cause I missed my brother so much, and yet I do not blame anyone for that . I went to him after that at the Corps headquarters with some bread and roses.

I had heard a lot about him from my brother , I know how close my brother was to him. I do not deny my admiration for him even without meeting him.

I expressed my gratitude to him for taking care of my bother all this time, I'm not blaming him for anything I understand how much my brother aspired to discover beyond the walls , I'm thankful that he's been by my brother's side for all these years.

His response that time is still etched in my mind , Despite his sharp features, I shed tears in his eyes . He remained composed and before I departed, he thanked me for my visit , and asked me to let him know if I needed anything.

After that I started frequenting his headquarters under the pretext that I was bringing them bread, I used to take advantage of every chance to see him and talk to him, even watching him from afar.

Even though he was known for being cold and strict, I felt his delicate treatment of me .

Over time , We both seemed to like each other .

He asked me to have tea with him away from headquarters , To talk about a topic related to us . His words at that time will remain unforgettable to me. He asked me to listen to him without interrupting until the end.

" I believed that I was created to be a soldier that I would dedicate my life for humanity. But despite my effort not to admit it that I could do something other than fight ,but I realized that my heart is also selfish Even if Love is not for me , I have fallen for you . I didn't know that admitting feelings is more difficult than fighting a battle but I will ask you this just once , do you accept me ? Even though my life could end at any moment ? Do you accept waiting for me , y/n ? "

His words were able to make my tears flow, tears of joy or disbelief, “yes , I accept you , Levi Ackerman.” Tears combined with a wide smile.

A smile appeared on his face, and he stood up asking for my hand, kissed it, then he hugged me picking me up from the ground.

Our relationship lasted for years. He was overprotective, very jealous, and possessive, but in an acceptable way.

In spite of the fact that he was not great at appearing his sentiments, he despised for anything awful to happen to me, and he took great care of me and made beyond any doubt that I continuously felt fulfilled.

Be that as it may, he continuously feels blameworthy towards me by not being able to spend time with me. Since of his consistent busyness, he would attempt to form up for it by sneaking out of the headquarters at night and investing the night with me. Indeed when he endured from insomnia, he cherished to rest in my lap.

months could pass without knowing anything about him.

Even though I was crying because of my longing for him, I patiently waited for him. Upon seeing him, all the sorrow I had felt vanished.

Unlike his previous goodbyes, this one was different. He gave me his handkerchief and asked that I keep it. "This time I may be absent for longer, but you assured me that you would be okay and care for yourself until we meet again."

Then he kissed me on the forehead, hugged me tightly, and promised me that he would send me letters whenever he could.

I had a Faith in his words even though I was unsure of the duration of his absence, but he has a genuine love for me and will fight to return for me .

My sorrows were interrupted by the smell of the bread that I put in the oven this morning. I put the letters on the table and went to look at the bread that was already cooked, while I was busy putting the bread out of the oven. I heard the sound of the bell that moved as the door opened. I heard someone's steps behind me, "we didn't open yet."

" y/n " I spin on my heel looking to the familiar voice, it's him .

He was showing signs of war. There were signs of a large wound on his face and eye, and he was leaning on a crutch, but that is not the important thing. The important thing is that he has returned now. I ran and threw myself into his arms without thinking for a second He also welcomed me with an embrace, throwing the crutch from his hand.

He's finally home .

“I knew that you would come back, and that you would not leave me,” I said as I sobbed.

“Shh, everything is fine, I’m here now.” He interrupted the hug and wiped the tears from my cheeks. I looked at him as he ran his hand through my hair, “That’s enough. Don’t go again. Please stay with me.” “I'm not going anywhere, sweetie.”

[aylacavebear]

The Traveler - Chapter 22 - Earth, 1999 & Mechoria

You're from a specific dimension, Solaris Eclipse. It was a dimension of magic. When your kind, the Eldrathiren, turned fifteen, your unique power would awaken within you. Most times, it was something small, levitation, teleportation, creation, elemental manipulation, and things like that. Once in a while, a fifteen-year-old would just disappear, and those were called Travelers. None of them had ever returned. Your parents had told you stories about them, and you hoped that wouldn't happen to you.

Please don't take my work. I'll post warnings for each chapter. Will probably be 18+ I haven't decided yet!

Word Count: 6483

Pairing Eventually Dean Winchester x OC Reader/You & Sam Winchester x OC Reader/You

Warnings: Longing, Emotional Situations.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 22 - Earth, 1999 & Mechoria

Earth, 4 Days After You Left…

The motel room was dark, as it was past midnight, and there was no traffic outside. The pale glow from a lone streetlamp outside barely filtered through the thin curtains, casting faint shadows on the walls. Dean was staring at the ceiling, attempting to sleep, but the bed felt so empty without you there. Everything felt empty without you there. Sam wasn’t sleeping either. He was staring at the wall while their father was passed out for the night. 

Thanks to you and the information you’d given them, Azazel was dead, but without you with them, they saw no point in celebrating. Their mom had been avenged, and so many future events had been stopped—not all of them, but many of them.

“You asleep?” Sam asked quietly, still staring at the far wall.

“No,” Dean replied with a sigh.

“This sucks,” Sam mumbled, his voice laced with frustration and sorrow.

Even though Dean was the only one who felt that soul connection to you, Sam had grown close to you when you were there and missed you just as much. They both wondered the same thing: When would you come back?

“I dreamt about her last night,” Sam said quietly, almost feeling like it was silly.

Dean turned to look over at him, the concern evident in his eyes. “What about?” “You’ll think it’s stupid,” he mumbled.

“Try me,” Dean told him, sitting up on the edge of his bed, his tone gentle yet insistent.

With a sigh, Sam sat up on the edge of his bed, now facing his brother. “She was in this weird place. There was a cat that talked and floated. Oh, and a mouse and a hare that could talk to. They were almost like people. And there was this really tall guy that wore a tophat. They were having tea outside at a long table,” he explained, waiting for his brother to tease him about it.

Dean thought for a moment, trying to picture it all in his head. He couldn’t help but chuckle a little at the thought of it. “If that’s really what she’s doing, then maybe she’s at least safe,” he finally replied, a soft smile forming on his lips.

In a way, that brought them both a sense of relief and also comfort. Neither were sure if that’s what you were doing, but it was something they could hold onto.

“Hey, tell me if you dream about her again,” Dean asked, letting thoughts of you drift through his mind.

“Alright,” Sam replied with a soft smile as he thought of you.

They each lay down, letting thoughts of you fill their minds as they finally drifted off to sleep. Even with as much as they missed you, somehow, Sam dreaming about you brought a sense of reassurance that you were okay. 

2 Weeks After You Left…

Sam had shared the couple of dreams he had of you with only Dean. Neither were sure they wanted John to know. The last thing they wanted was for him to think it was some strange supernatural thing to stop. At least the brothers had stopped moping around, though, and that had relieved John, as he’d been worried about the two since you left.

“Have you found anything yet?” John asked Bobby over the phone while he stood outside the motel room. The early morning light cast long shadows across the cracked pavement, the air cool with a hint of dew.

“Sorry, John. It’s not like there’s a lot on dimensional travel, let alone her home world,” Bobby sighed, taking another drink of his whiskey. His cluttered desk was piled high with old, dusty books, the smell of aged paper and ink filling his study.

“Keep looking and call me the minute you have something,” John told him, his frustration palpable as he hung up the phone.

He looked at his boys through the motel window. They were talking, and for once, both of them were smiling. John wasn’t sure what had changed but was thankful for whatever it was. Bobby had been pouring through books and talking to every hunter he could think of who might have an idea about dimensional travel.

They had all agreed to keep hunting, for now, even though Dean had let his mind wander numerous times about having a normal life with you and his brother. Sam had even thought about it, wanting to go to college so he could support a normal life with you. Both brothers looked up the moment John came back into the motel room.

“You two ready?” John asked them, grabbing his bag off the table. The smell of stale coffee lingered in the air, mingling with the scent of their worn leather jackets.

The two reluctantly grabbed their bags and followed John out of the motel, heading out to take care of the things that went bump in the night.

—---------

Bobby hadn’t found much of anything in his books, the ones he’d gone through, at least. He had kept your spear safe, leaning against the wall in his living room as a constant reminder of you. It helped keep him focused, even when cases came up and other hunters needed help. He also couldn’t get that glowing orb out of his head and had sworn he’d seen it somewhere in a random book he had yet to find.

He had figured out that the writing on your dagger was Enochian, the language of the angels. Without your dagger in front of him, though, he couldn’t translate it and cursed under his breath for not taking a picture. Bobby did put that particular book in a small stack that he’d reserved for just information that had to do with you.

Something Bobby had done was get the information out to as many hunters as he could of the things you shared with the Winchesters. It was more than a game changer for them, giving them the upper hand, at least against demons. 

His phone rang, breaking his concentration. He sighed, taking a deep breath before answering. “Bobby Singer.”

“Bobby, it’s Rufus. Got some new leads on that dimensional travel stuff. Might wanna check it out,” the gruff voice on the other end said.

Bobby and Rufus didn’t typically get along, let alone work together, at least not anymore. If it hadn’t been for how he felt about the Winchester brothers and you, he never would have even involved Rufus. Bobby’s eyes lit up with a glimmer of hope, though. “Send me everything you’ve got,” he replied, hanging up the phone with renewed determination. He glanced at your spear, then at the small stack of books, feeling a surge of motivation.

“We’ll figure it out, kid,” he spoke aloud with a small smile.

—------------

Back on Mechoria, 1 Month Later…

2 Months After You Left Earth.

It was near dawn, and again, you hadn’t slept well. The days had grown colder with the approaching winter, the crisp air kept at bay by the closed window of your room. With a groan, you finally climbed out of bed and sat at the desk, looking up at the calendar you’d hung on the wall. The soft light of dawn filtered through the curtains, casting a pale glow on the room.

It’s November on Earth.

The months weren’t labeled the same, but you remembered the numbers and what they were called, so you had written those on the calendar here. You’d also circled the brothers’ birthdays and your own. You had crossed off the days as they passed, each one a painful reminder of the time passing without them. Looks like it’s gonna be another long and boring day.

On days like this, you didn’t typically leave your room, too tired to deal with others. To you, it wasn’t fair that the scent hadn’t come and whisked you away and back to Earth to see them again. You’d helped this world, and now, felt like you were stuck there. It was one thing when you had deliberately ignored the scent in the Twilight Veil and stayed with Lysara for a year. 

The room was comfortably furnished, but its luxury had long since lost its charm. The silken sheets of your bed were tangled from restless nights, and the ornate mirror above the fireplace reflected your weary expression. You glanced at the pile of books and the journal on the desk; the latter filled with your thoughts and experiences of this world.

With a sigh, you ran your fingers through your hair, your ears twitching slightly at the sound of footsteps outside your door. The innkeeper, Fenwick, must be making his rounds, ensuring everyone was comfortable. Despite his gruff exterior, you’d come to appreciate his quiet gestures of kindness.

Suddenly, there was a soft knock on your door. You hesitated for a moment before getting up to answer it.

Fenwick stood there, his large, bushy tail flicking behind him. His rugged face softened as he saw you. “Good morning,” he said in his deep, gravelly voice. “I noticed you didn’t come down for breakfast. Thought you might want something to eat."

“Thanks, Fenwick,” you replied, managing a small smile. “I’m just… having one of those days.” He nodded understandingly and handed you a tray with eggs, a form of bacon, a form of hashbrowns, and two slices of toast. “Take your time. If you need anything, just let me know.”

As you closed the door and sat back at your desk, you couldn’t help but feel a pang of homesickness. The warm comfort of the meal reminded you of the meals you shared with the Winchesters and how Dean had cooked for you. You took a deep breath, trying to push the loneliness aside as you picked up your journal and began to write, hoping it would ease the ache in your heart and soul.

—-----------

Earth, 2 Months After You Left…

That email from Rufus had contained valuable information, but Bobby hadn’t said anything to the Winchesters about it. No, he wanted to investigate it first. The last thing he wanted to do was give the brothers or John any false hope about not only bringing you back but being able to find a way to tether you to Earth. He was trying his hardest not to get his hopes up, but if this particular artifact existed and did what it was rumored to do, they might have found what they needed. It was rare and something he’d never heard of, a Dimensional Compas. The rumor surrounding it was that it had the ability to not only make portals to other worlds but also open the one the user intended or thought about. 

It took a week to piece together where it was located, and he had to talk to several other hunters just to try to figure out the vague clues. Bobby sat at his cluttered desk, a glass of whiskey left forgotten near the far side, as he stared at the old, dusty journal. He carefully opened it, as the pages were brittle, threatening to crumble under his fingers. It was a hunter's journal from a time long ago. 

The Dimensional Compass, as described in the journal, appeared to be an ordinary old compass. The journal included a drawing of it, so Bobby could only take in the hunter’s drawing and notes. According to those, it looked normal, except for the back of it. It had unique features: a small circular indent at its center, and around the back, there were numerous indents, which looked as though different things snapped onto or into it. The other notes within the journal stated that the hunter who wrote them had never used the compass, as he could never find what went into the back of it.

Bobby sighed as he leaned back in his chair. At least there was a location of the compass: New Haven, Connecticut. The journal had referred to a crypt there, an ancient tomb hidden beneath an old, abandoned church. It was said to be the final resting place of a powerful witch who had guarded the compass for centuries. He packed his bag, ensuring he had everything he needed, then made the long drive, still without sharing a word of this with the Winchesters.

The old church stood on the outskirts of New Haven, its once grand facade now crumbling with decay. The tall, gothic spires reached toward the sky, casting long shadows on the ground below. The air was thick with the scent of moss and earth, and the only sound was the rustling of leaves in the wind.

Bobby approached the church cautiously, his flashlight cutting through the darkness. He pushed open the heavy wooden doors, which creaked loudly in protest. Inside, the church was eerily silent, the pews covered in a thick layer of dust. Cobwebs draped from the rafters like ghostly shrouds. 

At the far end of the church, behind the altar, Bobby found a hidden staircase leading down into the crypt. The stone steps were cold and uneven, and the air grew colder as he descended. His breath came out in frosty puffs as he reached the bottom, where a massive stone door barred his way.

With a grunt, Bobby pushed the door open, revealing the crypt. The walls were lined with ancient carvings and runes etched into the stone. At the center of the crypt stood a stone pedestal, and atop it, the Dimensional Compass.

Bobby approached the pedestal slowly, his heart pounding in his chest. He reached out and picked up the compass, seeing that it was larger than the journal had mentioned. Feeling its weight in his hand, he thought perhaps it might have been nearly two pounds. He ran his thumb over the back, still wondering what fit into it. Its glass covering was gone, probably having been broken decades ago or longer.

“Gotcha,” Bobby muttered to himself, a small smile tugging at his lips. He slipped the compass into his bag and turned his attention to the crypt itself, 

He took numerous photos of the engravings, meticulously documenting the ancient carvings and runes. He searched every nook and cranny, even examining the indents in the walls that held a few skeletons. Despite his thorough inspection, there wasn’t much to go on - nothing notable to indicate which one might be the witch who had guarded the compass. He extended his search to the church above but found no additional information regarding the crypt below. 

During his drive back home, his thoughts were on you, the Winchesters, and how they were going to bring you home. His mind also raced with ideas on figuring out how this compass worked.

—----------------

Mechoria, 3 Months After You Left…

It was another early morning, the light of dawn peaking through the thin slit in the curtains, gently pulling you from your dreams. With a yawn and a stretch, you slowly opened your eyes and sighed. At least Fenwick kept the inn warm these days.

You pushed the blankets aside and climbed out of bed to open the curtains and greet the day. The scent still hadn’t come to beckon you to continue your journey or go back to the brothers. So, even though you missed them, you had decided you’d make the best of being in this world. Today you had been asked to help Arina in her shop. She could have done the work herself, but the two of you had become friends over the last month.

The council had made sure all your expenses were taken care of, and you wanted for nothing. That had felt the strangest. You knew it was their way of thanking you for what you’d done, but you didn’t like feeling like you were taking advantage of their hospitality. You also still hadn’t unpacked your things, still hoping the scent would come for you.

After a nice warm breakfast, you bundled up and headed to Arina’s shop. Everyone in the city greeted you with warm “Hello”s and “Good morning”s. So you returned those with a friendly smile and wave. Snow had already fallen in this world, but magic kept it from accumulating on the inside the city. It was dotted along rooftops, but along the streets, there was none.

“How have you been?” Arina asked when she stepped back from the warm hug.

You gave her a small smile, “I still miss them, but I’m doing better these days. Thanks for the beanie. It was chilly this morning.” Arina chuckled at your endearing compliment. “Well, can’t have our city’s savior getting frostbite on her ears now, can we?” she teased you playfully before showing you into the back of her shop.

It was a sight to behold. Cloth in all sorts of colors and textures were neatly organized on two of the four walls. Ribbons, thread, and lace were along another wall, with containers filled with odds and ends like zippers, buttons, and a slew of other items. Bookshelves adorned the last wall, full of patterns for anything that could be made out of cloth for all sorts of different types of species. 

In the center of the massive room was a table for her to work on with a grid pattern, a beautiful sewing machine, and drawers all along it, just under the lip. You guessed they were filled with things she was into often. Near the back door, you noticed several decent-sized boxes that hadn’t even been opened yet.

“Wow, Arina, this is amazing,” you told her in awe. This was your first time in her backroom, and you could understand why her shop was one of the best in the city, and her prices were always so fair.

“Thanks. Typically, I’d take care of this myself, but I thought it would give you an excuse to get out of your fancy room,” she teased you playfully as she began opening one of the boxes.

Her tease made you chuckle as you joined her, curious as to what was in the boxes. “Is it more stuff for back here?” you asked her curiously.

“Yup. I just need to get it put away. This box has new fabrics in it from a cloth weaver in another town. I love to get things from him and his family. They’re always beautiful, with the softest of textures and the most beautiful patterns you’ve ever seen. They made the fabric your dress was crafted out of,” she explained just before she pulled open the top box.

Inside the box, you saw a rainbow of fabrics, each one more vibrant and intricate than the last. The weaver’s craftsmanship was evident in every piece, with patterns that seemed to dance and shimmer as you moved the cloth into the light.

As you and Arina began to sort and store the new arrivals, you felt a sense of contentment wash over you. This place had become a sort of sanctuary for you, a temporary home while you waited for the scent to guide you either back to the brothers or whisk you off to another world entirely.

“Does it bother you, that you haven’t been able to go back to them yet?” Arina asked softly as she folded a piece of deep green silk.

“Sometimes,” you admitted. “But until then, I’m glad I have someone like you to hang out with and help.”

Arina smiled warmly at you, “We’re glad to have you here. You saved all of us, and I don’t just mean us sentient creatures. You also brought hope back to the young ones with your story of the Luminous.” Her words almost made you tear up, but you gave her a soft smile as a warmth came to your heart. As you continued to work, you couldn’t help but wonder what the brothers were doing at that moment and hoped they were holding on, just as you were.

After you helped her get everything put away, she pulled something small out of one of the drawers under her table. “I want you to have this. For a long time, I wore it like a good luck charm. I found the pendant when I was a child and kept it.” she told you, holding out a necklace with a small pendant on it, only a couple of inches across.

You gently took it from her, letting your fingers move over the small gear for a moment before looking back up at her. “Thank you, Arina. I’ll hold onto this, always.”

—----------------------

Earth, 4 Months After You Left…

Bobby had at least called John, but there wasn’t much he could tell him. He couldn’t piece together what made the compass work and didn’t want to disappoint the brothers with another dead end. So, he put the Dimensional Compass in his safe for now, at least until he could either learn more about it or find a way to make it work.

Sam shared his dreams of you with Dean when they happened. He’d dreamt of you in that luxurious inn, and how you were writing in two journals. He had never been able to read what you wrote, though. There were times Dean felt what you were going through, although it was diminished, dull, and like it was far away. Since Sam had been sharing his dreams, Dean shared what he felt from you.

Both John and Bobby were conflicted. They wanted to share with the brothers what they’d found, but they had nothing concrete to share. Bobby sat at his desk, staring at the old compass in front of him, again, like he could somehow will it to tell him its secrets. He had gone over every detail he could find about it, trying to unlock its secrets. But it remained stubbornly silent, giving him no clues.

The front door opening pulled Bobby from his thoughts, causing him to quickly stash the compass in a drawer of his desk. 

“Hey, Bobby, hope you’re up for some company,” John hollered as he slipped off his jacket and hung it near the door, the brothers doing the same.

“Thought you were gonna be gone another week,” Bobby replied, a bit confused as to why they were there early.

The three of them headed into the living room, all finding a place to sit. They were exhausted and needed some downtime. 

John slumped back onto the couch, letting out a sigh of contentment as he finally began relaxing. “Took out the last of Azazel’s foot soldiers hell-bent on the apocalypse.”

Dean leaned back in his chair, his eyes heavy with weariness but his mind still sharp. “It was a mess, but we managed to clear them out. Thought we’d swing by and see how you’re holding up, maybe check on that lead you mentioned.” Bobby hesitated for a moment, glancing towards the drawer where the compass was hidden. “Not much to tell. Still don’t have anything concrete for you.” The brothers shared a knowing look. Sam, though, decided to push just a little. “It’s okay if you don’t have anything concrete. Maybe a fresh set of eyes might help,” he suggested.

This time, John and Bobby shared a silent conversation, both worried about getting the brothers' hopes up. With a heavy sigh, though, Bobby pulled the compass out of the drawer he’d hidden it in. Then, he set it on his desk.

“Took me two weeks just to piece all the clues together in order to find its location. The thing doesn’t even point to North,” he sighed, looking up at the brothers. 

“Can I take a look at it?” Sam asked quizzically.

“Sure, kid, knock yourself out,” Bobby practically chuckled as he handed the compass to Sam.

Bobby proceeded to explain the information he’d gathered on the Dimensional Compass and what its purpose was. Dean was just staring intently at it in Sam’s hands. Sam flipped it over and ran a finger over the different indents that marked the back of it.

“Seems like it’s missing pieces,” Sam mused quietly, more to himself than anyone in specific.

“That’s the obvious part. I haven’t found a single piece of information that says what fits into those indents,” Bobby sighed.

“We didn’t want to give you boys any false hopes,” John piped in from the couch.

Dean’s gaze was still glued to the compass, almost as if he was drawn to it. “Hey, Sammy, lemme see that.” 

Sam looked up, a bit puzzled, but handed the compass to his brother. Oddly enough, the needle on the top of it moved. “Is it supposed to do that?” Dean asked, now looking just as puzzled as Sam had at Dean’s request.

Bobby’s eyes widened slightly. “Not that I’ve seen. What the hell did you do?” Dean frowned, turning the compass over in his hands. “Nothing. I just… took it.” The needle continued to move, twitching slightly as if it were trying to align itself with something. Dean glanced at Bobby, then back at the compass, a mix of hope and confusion on his face. “Do you think it’s reacting to me? Or… something I’m thinking about?” John stood up, a look of determination crossing his face. “This could be the lead we’ve been waiting for. If it’s reacting to you, Dean, maybe you’re the key to making it work.” Sam leaned forward, watching the compass intently. “Maybe it’s not just about the physical pieces we’re missing. What if it’s also about the person using it? Plus, there’s that whole soulmate thing… Dean’s over eighteen, so he feels the connection.”

Bobby nodded slowly, his mind racing with possibilities. “It’s worth a shot. But we need to be careful. We don’t know what kind of power this thing holds or where it might lead you.”

Dean took a shaky breath, his fingers twitching as he placed the compass back on Bobby’s desk. Every instinct told him to go to you, to bring you back somehow, but the fear of the unknown, of getting stuck or worse, gnawed at him. “For now, I’d rather not touch that thing, not till we know more,” he said, his voice barely steady.

John was proud of his son, and for once, it showed in his expression. “We do this smart and as a team.” They all agreed, a silent pact to unravel the mystery of the Dimensional Compass together. What Dean hadn’t told any of them, though, was that he’d seen you when he held onto that compass. You were sitting in a beautiful room that almost reminded him of a five-star hotel, at a desk, a small box labeled, ‘Happy Birthday, Dean’ in front of you. You looked lost in thought, almost sad, and older, more mature, in the four months since you’d been gone. The urge to reach out, to pull you into his arms, was overwhelming. But the fear, the sudden shock of that vision, had driven him to put the compass down, and with it, you faded from sight.

—-------------

Earth 5 Months After You Left…

“It’s her birthday. You think she feels any different?” Sam’s voice was soft, almost tentative, as he glanced over at Dean.

Dean didn’t immediately respond, his focus locked on the sketch he’d made of the compass’s back. The lines of indents he’d drawn seemed to mock him with incompleteness. “I don’t know. I felt kinda different when I turned eighteen, but it wasn’t until I saw her again that it seemed to get stronger,”

The compass sat on the desk between them, untouched since that first, unnerving vision. Dean’s hands iched to pick it up again, to see you, even if just for a moment. But the fear of the unknown- of getting trapped in some other dimension, away from you- was stronger.

He’d spent hours studying the compass, trying to piece together the puzzle of its missing half. But tonight, all he could think about was you. It was late, the kind of quiet that made everything feel more intense. Neither of them had managed to sleep, not with it being your birthday.

Dean’s gaze drifted to the window, his thoughts heavy. “Wherever she is, I hope she’s okay,” he murmured, the weight of the words lingering in the air between them.

Sam’s expression saddened as he returned his focus to the old hunter’s journal, the one that spoke of the compass in the first place. He hadn’t dreamt of you in nearly two weeks. He was typically good at puzzles, always able to see how things slotted together, but this compass had him stumped, which only frustrated him. 

Your spear still stood there in the living room, leaning against the far wall, a constant reminder to them of the last time you had been there. The picture Sam had taken of you stayed tucked safely away in Dean’s wallet, which he would look at often. It brought him momentary comfort, but he still missed you, and it never took away that ache he felt in his chest.

A sudden knock at the door pulled both brothers from their thoughts. Bobby, already in the living room with them, glanced at the door with a frown. “Who the hell could that be at this hour?” Before anyone could answer, the door creaked open, revealing Rufus Turner standing in the doorway, looking as if he’d just walked through hell itself. His clothes were dusted with dirt, and there was a weariness in his eyes that hinted at more than just a long day.

“Well, don’t just stand there like a bunch of idiots,” Rufus grumbled, stepping inside and kicking the door shut behind him. “I’ve got something you boys are gonna wanna see.” Dean and Sam exchanged a glance, curiosity flickering to life despite the tension. Bobby motioned for Rufus to sit, but the older hunter waved him off, reaching into his coat pocket. “No time for sitting, Singer. Got a lead on that compass you’ve been poking at.” Rufus pulled out a small, intricately carved piece of metal and held it up to the light. It gleamed with a strange, almost otherworldly sheen, and Dean could immediately tell it wasn’t just any ordinary piece of junk.

“Where the hell did you find that?” Bobby asked, his tone a mix of disbelief and amazement, his eyes fixed on the piece as if it might vanish if he looked away. “Got wind of it in a market over in Missouri,” Rufus replied, tossing the piece to Sam. “The seller didn’t know what he had. But I recognized it from the pictures you sent me. Figured it might be one of the missing pieces.” Sam examined the metal piece closely, his eyes widening as he compared it to the back of the compass and the numerous different-sized indents that adorned the surface. With a slow, deliberate motion, Sam slid the piece into one of the indents. The satisfying click echoed in the silence of the room, and for a moment, the air seemed to hum with an unseen energy.

Dean stared at the compass in Sam’s hands, his heart pounding in his chest. “One down, several more to go,” he muttered, trying to keep the frustration from seeping into his voice. The more pieces they found, the closer they were to finding you. But the journey felt endless, and every new lead seemed to stretch out before them like an infinite road.

Rufus shrugged, his expression unreadable. “If I come across anything else, I’ll be back. But don’t hold your breath. These pieces aren’t exactly growing on trees.”

“Time to get back to the books,” Bobby sighed, taking a sip of his whiskey. His gaze drifted to your spear, still standing in the living room like a sentinel. It was a constant reminder of the last time you had been there. His thoughts wandered to your last visit, to the laughter you brought, and how you had helped in more ways than you were even aware of. Whether he’d admit it out loud or not, he thought of you as part of the family, and getting you home was his top priority now. 

The piece Rufus had brought gave all of them a renewed sense of hope. It was a small victory, but it was something. Rufus didn’t stay long, mentioning something about a ghost four states over that needed dealing with. As he left, the brothers exchanged a glance, silently agreeing that this wasn’t over. They had no idea how many different pieces they would need to complete the compass, but they weren’t going to give up anytime soon. The fight to bring you home for good had only just begun. 

—---------------------

Mechoria, Your Birthday…

You hadn’t wanted to get out of bed that morning. Even after one of the servants brought you breakfast, which you only picked at, your appetite was nonexistent. The morning outside was chilly, and snow fell steadily, a gentle cascade of white flakes that seemed to disappear before ever reaching the ground. Normally, you would have found this phenomenon fascinating, but not today. Today, your thoughts were consumed by the brothers, by Earth, and by an overwhelming longing to be there with them.

When Dean had turned eighteen, you hadn’t been on Earth for it, and now, on your eighteenth birthday, you weren’t there either. You had always missed the brothers before, but now it felt more profound, like a piece of you was missing. You curled up with one of your pillows and stared at the dark blue velvet curtains that kept the sun’s rays at bay.

It’s not fair, you thought bitterly, feeling the sting of tears in your eyes. Will I even see them again before Sam turns eighteen? The question haunted you, echoing in the silence of your room.

Near lunch, Arina came to visit you, her presence a small comfort in the otherwise bleak day. You were supposed to go have lunch with her—it was her birthday gift to you—but even that seemed like a hollow gesture now. The weight of your emotions pressed down on you, making it hard to muster the energy to care about anything at all. 

Arina sat with you in your room, the gesture bringing a small amount of comfort to your aching soul while you shared the delectable sweets she’d brought to cheer you up. The sugary aroma of honey pastries, fruit tarts, and cinnamon cakes filled the air, but it did little to lift the fog of melancholy clouding your thoughts. You picked at the treats, taking small bites, feeling the flavors but not truly tasting them. Ariana’s eyes were full of concern, her voice gentle as she tried to coax you into conversation. You appreciated her efforts, her friendship, but even her company felt like a reminder of the distance separating you from the brothers.

After an hour, Arina squeezed your hand and offered a reassuring smile before leaving you alone. As the door clicked shut behind her, the dam holding back your emotions broke, and you finally gave in to the misery that had settled over and through you. Tears you hadn’t wanted to shed flowed freely, each drop a testament to the longing and loneliness that consumed you.

You wanted to be strong, to not feel weak or like a child crying over something precious that was lost. But it hurt so much not to be with them on this day, the ache in your chest a constant reminder of the bond that was stretched across dimensions.. That evening, you sat in your bed, the room dimly lit by a single candle, and wrote to the brothers. You poured your heat onto the paper, sharing with them how you had envisioned the day going had you been together. It brought you a small sense of comfort, even if a few more tears slipped down your cheeks and dotted the paper.

—------

Time passed, as it tended to do, for not just you but also for the brothers back on Earth. Days blurred together, but you managed, and some were better than others. You eventually replaced your simple bag with a far sturdier one that Arina made for you, with lots of pockets to keep things organized. She also made you a beautiful over-the-shoulder bag for your journals, as you now had four of them, one empty one to save for later. 

Winter turned to spring, but it was short-lived, and you barely enjoyed the blossoms or the life it brought. Summer was lonely, and on the second of May, another small box sat on your desk, this one for Sam. That, too, found its way into your bag with a few tears. Mechoria was a wonderful place, but it wasn’t home, and without the brothers, you felt emptier and emptier.

Fall came with a chilly breeze through your window, causing you to shiver, but with it came that familiar scent that nearly knocked you down. It had been so long that you’d almost forgotten how wonderful it smelled. A sense of hope and excitement coursed through your body as you dressed quickly, packing up the few items you had out. You wrote a note to the innkeeper and one for Arina, leaving them on the desk, knowing they’d be found. Then, you tossed your new bag over your shoulder with the smaller one that held your journals.

Goosebumps ran down your body as a smile found your lips. You pulled open your door, and the scent hit you again.

Home. Please, I need to see them…

Holding an image of them in your mind, you stepped through your doorway. The inn swirled in a distorted way as it changed around you. The beautiful browns of the wooden walls twisted and turned, shifting to tall trees as blues dotted the sky above through the strange leaves. Things also seemed muted, as if someone had almost drained the vibrancy from them.

Even though things were still a bit blurry, the world around you not quite solid, the scent seemed to beckon you further. So, you followed it, your steps cautious as you walked through the distorted forest. It was disorienting to walk before the world had come into full focus, as it still seemed to be shifting around you. In the distance, on all sides, different scenes came into view, like windows into other worlds, each one more fascinating than the last.

It was a fascinating kaleidoscope of colors and images, landscapes and animals, all blending together in a surreal tapestry. The scent continued to guide you, still along that distorted forest path of this unknown world. You couldn’t tell if you were between worlds or if this was just another dimension, but you pressed on, determined to find your way back to the brothers, back to home.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 23 - A World Between Worlds

Link to the series Masterlist.

A/N: If you'd like to get in on the Dimensional Traveling, go to this link and leave me with a comment, or several, with as much or as little detail about the dimension you'd like the Traveler to end up in. If you'd like to have something specific happen, share that too. I'll make sure that you get credit for the idea you shared in the chapter in which your dimension is featured. I'd love to have as many readers involved as possible. I think this could be a lot of fun.

As always, if you'd like to be tagged, let me know and I'll add you to the tag list. If I missed anyone, please let me know.

Tag List: @littlemadamred @mxltifxnd0m @foxyjwls007 @supernaturalfreakout @roseblue373

@flamencodiva @reignsboy19 @stillhere197 @hobby27 @megs-gadom

[railingsofsorrow]

chapter I | catharsis

summary: “Is there— is there something you need?” He's kind. He's so kind and his voice is better than she had ever imagined. 

All of all the things she could have said, what came out is something else entirely.

“Your hair is shorter.”

w.c: 3.4K

warnings/content: mentions of mass food poisoning; implied unhealthy relationships (it will be explored later); germaphobia; fluff.

A/N: WE'RE FINISHED WITH THE LETTERS! I was too excited to start writing the longer chapters with a detailed narrative. I know it took too long but.... here it is, I hope you enjoy! annnd, they finally meet!

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whoever wants to be tagged for this fic, fill this out or dm me.

LETTERS — [1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]

CHAPTERS — [1] [2] [3] . . .

❝Catharsis❞

[n.] THE EXPERIENCE OF EXPRESSING STRONG EMOTIONS THAT PREVIOUSLY WERE BLOCKED.

━━━━━━━━━ ✉ ━━━━━━━━

“Don't even start, Reid.”

Spencer pursed his lips, shifting on the passenger seat. “I didn't say anything.”

Derek scoffed, “I can hear you thinking.”

“Thought broadcasting is a common phenomenon that happens when one thinks others can hear your thoughts. That is not physically possible. It actually might be a sign of paranoia—”

Derek groaned loudly, begging for the gods above that the traffic went easy on him for five minutes. He needed five minutes to get to the other Interstate. Five. Minutes. 

Spencer let out a snicker beside him, having too much fun in being correct as always. He had told Derek beforehand that the safest option would be to take the alternative route, even if that meant it was slightly longer than directly taking the I-95. They still would get to Norfolk University's Student Center faster. 

Derek didn't listen to him and here they were, stuck in traffic just as Spencer predicted. 

In some way, this was good. 

Spencer hated being late to anything, which was why he always double-checks the time so he can get to any place earlier, just to be sure. Just in case. That's him. A pragmatic guy. 

But when he heard where the next case was going to be, he backtracked a little. 

Spencer has been corresponding with Iris Valencia through letters for the entire month of October. It felt like more, maybe years. He knows that this feeling is quite common for people who had found some sort of connection. They have affinity. A bond, if you will. It explains the reason for your comfort after you've just met someone. You used to be strangers, but you realise they like blueberry muffins too and then you have a coffee date scheduled in the afternoon. It is that simple, sometimes. 

Spencer could never relate to that. Well, at least, not before Iris. Although he has never invited her over for coffee and they haven't spoken in person yet. 

Yet.

But it felt like it. It felt like he has known her for a long time.

The case was in Norfolk University, 165,7 miles from Quantico. The place Iris worked as a microbiology professor and which she described that her whole department fell sick because of a supposed food poisoning. 

That hasn't been the first time a university has had that kind of situation. As she mentioned in one of her letters, the Old Dominion University — another university located in Norfolk — was also on the news about food poisoning. The difference was that it had been only a small group of students that suffered the outcome. NSU had it worst, a large group of people had to be sent to the E.R. 

The BAU was called in because of recent deaths in the area. When they eventually connected it to the food poisoning cases happening in the universities, Hotch divided the team into pairs to cover more ground. The suspect list was narrowed down to three students from Norfolk State University. 

“What did you say?” 

“You and Morgan are off to the M.E's office.” Hotch repeated as they left the precinct. 

“You're going to Norfolk State University?” Spencer asked a little dumbfounded. Derek gave him a confused look. 

Hotch halted beside the car door, the crease between his brows deepening. “That's where our first victim lived... Reid, are you alright?”

That finally seemed to be the minute Spencer snapped out of it. “Yes,” he said, clearing his throat. “Yes, sorry. I was just making sure. We'll— we'll go now.”

He felt like a thirteen-year-old boy with his first crush. The accelerated heartbeat, the shaky limbs, the sweaty palms. The not knowing what to do and mostly, what Emily always teased him about and what he only recently noticed: his IQ is, in deed, slashed to half when he's attracted to someone. 

Spencer had not met Iris yet. But he felt all of those things. Through letters. For the first time in his life he couldn't find a scientific explanation for what he was currently feeling. He hadn’t met her, he hadn't seen her, let alone heard her voice. He's only seen her delicate handwriting with her t's curved at the base and her barely noticeable s's and he was quickly roped to her personality. What Iris shared with him so far, that is. 

Spencer studied people for a living. That's a quick way of putting his occupation. He investigated behavior and he entered minds that were just as twisted as the crimes they committed. Some cases stay glued on his brain more than others — it's not like he was able to forget anything, although sometimes he wished he could.

Iris had interested him more than any quantum physics book ever could. 

Spencer knows she likes birds. That's one of the first things she shared with him, actually. He also knows that her favorite author is Haruki Murakami and Spencer has read all of her recommendations, he even bought more books besides the ones she mentioned. He knows Iris hates loud noises, clowns and that she takes her coffee black and plain. He knows how much she cares about her students and that she probably loves what she does because of the way she writes about it. He knows that she doesn't believe in magic, but he's determined to change her mind. 

To Spencer, Iris was like a book. He had no idea what the cover was like and he had not read the synopsis, but from the first page and on, he decided he wanted to know everything there is to know about the story. He wanted to see if there were small notes at the edges of every page or if there were underlined quotes. He wanted to figure out the mystery before the next chapter arrived, even if the ending might be completely different. 

He had come to terms with the fact that he wants to meet her in person for a while now. But Spencer didn't plan when that would happen or if it would happen. He doesn't even know if she would want to meet him. 

Now, he was walking into the University she worked at with her letter tucked into his satchel bag as he forced his brain to focus on what was supposed to be focusing on: the case. 

"Finally." Emily raised a brow as they walked into the room. According to JJ's message an hour ago, they were talking to the Head of the Biology Department because of a lead on one of the suspects. Hotch and Rossi were speaking with Penelope through the speakerphone in a corner of the room. "Took you long enough." 

Spencer shrugged at her jab, pointing at Derek. "I told him, he didn't listen." He was softly shoved in response.

"Shut up, Reid." 

"We're waiting for Mark Dawson to come back with a professor who supposedly has some information on Meredith Fitz." JJ clarified before Spencer could question her why they were all reunited in a professor's office. "They're all in class, we don't want to raise too much attention." 

"Sorry to keep you all waiting." 

A blond man walked into the room with a brunette woman on his trail. He was dressed in a color-coordinated attire, a russet dress shirt with slightly darker khaki pants. A complete contrast with the woman beside him, she wore light blue jeans along with a maroon V-neck sweater vest and a white t-shirt below. Her hair was in a loose bun but some thick curls were falling off. She was tucking them behind her ear constantly. 

Spencer noticed she seemed annoyed. 

"This is Doctor Valencia, she's our microbiology professor. Meredith is one of her students." 

Valencia? As in—

"I can speak for myself." Dr. Valencia said through gritted teeth, shaking hands with every agent. Spencer was too busy sweating like crazy in nervousness to take notice of Emily's and JJ's pointed gaze exchange after the professor's harsh statement towards Professor Dawson. "It's good to meet you, Agents, but I spoke to the police last night, I already gave my formal statement regarding the occurrences of the last week." 

The last person to be introduced was him. 

He heard something that sounded distinctly like a choked-up sound. He didn't pay much attention until Hotch started conducting questions regarding the case. Because that was what he was focusing on, the case. His hands tingling as she drew hers back, barely giving him a look. 

"The FBI?" Iris blinked in surprise. Only now did she seem to really acknowledge everyone in the room. Her shoulders tensed up. "So that wasn't just accidental food poisoning." 

"We're investigating that," Hotch said, being vague on purpose. "It came to our knowledge that Meredith Fitz is one of your mentees?"

Iris nodded, running a hand through her face. "Yes, yes, she is. Meredith is, um, completing her master's degree in post-mortem microbiology."

"Does she have access to your lab?" 

"All of my students have," Iris said. "We have practical classes." She visibly stiffened. "Is she a suspect?"

“We're looking into it,” Hotch responded.

Iris stepped out of her frozen state, interrupting another question being thrown her away.

“This isn't— This isn't right.” She begun. “Meredith is one of my top students. She's a nice girl, she wouldn't do this.”

Emily nodded sympathetic, “as he said, we are still investigating that information. But we do need to speak with her so that can be clarified.” Before Iris could speak, Mark beat her to it.

“She didn't come to class today, so that won't be possible, will it?” Mark sent a look towards Iris that anyone in the room could read it as a pretty clear insinuation. Iris wasn't paying attention to him, she was lost in her thoughts, gaze focused on a corner of the room. 

Spencer was itching to say something, but he stood quiet.

“Neither did Fabian Helley. Another top student of Dr. Valencia here.” He added, leaning back on his desk. “You know, maybe you should investigate this particular pattern.”

Derek let out a sigh. He was done with Dawson's little game. It was clear that the guy was trying to antagonize Iris. 

“Sir—”

“Please stop.” 

Every eye in the room snapped towards her voice. Iris clutched the back of her arm as if she was trying to give herself some form of grounding. Spencer could see how much she cared for each one of her students. He's read about it, it's all in her letters, but even his coworkers who didn't have that bonus glimpse into her character could tell that. 

They could also tell she was greatly bothered by Mark Dawson. And Spencer himself was starting to get bothered by him as well.

“I'll answer your questions and anything else in my office. Is that okay with you?” 

Nobody protested against that and Mark stood by his desk, arms crossed much like a petulant child. They followed Iris towards her office while exchanging curious glances. She did answer all of their questions, hesitating slightly whenever the questions were directed towards Meredith Fitz and Fabian Helley, mostly because she did not believe they could have done such a monstrosity as mass poisoning.

“What happened to being a germaphobe, pretty Ricky?” Derek nudged his shoulder, earning a confused look from Spencer. “You shook the professor's hand. Not a single complaint as always.”

“I was being polite.” His cheeks were burning. Did he shake her hand? Thankfully she wasn’t close enough to listen to their conversation.

Derek disguised a chuckle by soft coughing and Spencer glared at him.

"I'd like to apologize about Professor Dawson. He's been on edge ever since all this started." Iris informed as Rossi and Hotch left the room to call Garcia. 

"We can see that," Emily smiled reassuringly at her. "If you don't mind me asking, is there a particular reason why he seemed displeased about Fabian Helley?" Iris shifted on her feet and everyone else in the room pretended they were not listening in on the conversation since Emily had approached her in a rather private manner.

Still, Iris did not relent. 

"Mark is always displeased by something or someone." It was the last thing she decided to share after pondering to herself. 

It wasn't until Hotch came back into the room to send each of them to interview a few other witnesses — except for Spencer, who he requested to start the geographical profile since they had enough cases as of now – that Iris seemed to glance in Spencer's direction.

Dr. Reid, who she shook hands with and didn't even properly notice until now. Iris was generally a perceptive person, she caught things quickly. Though she's having trouble focusing ever since this morning, perks of a bad night's sleep. She blamed that for not realising him sooner, that was the only possible explanation, really. His honey-brown eyes switched to his colleagues as soon as she caught him looking. 

Iris’ breath caught in her throat. The Behaviour Analysis Unit is here. Spencer mentioned in one of his letters that he works for the FBI... She truly was slow today, wasn't she? 

“Dr. Valencia?” 

She snaps out of her daze to stare at a pretty blonde woman in a dark blazer, she wore a blue t-shirt below. Agent Jareau. That's her name.

“Sorry,” Iris cleared her throat, feeling her cheeks heat up at being caught staring at him. She must look like such a creep. “I zoned out. Were you speaking to me?”

She offers her a sympathetic smile before saying, “we don't want to take much of your time. We know you have lectures to teach. Thank you for your patience.”

“No need to thank me, Agent. It's all good.” Just as each of them gave her their farewells, she was stuck in an inner argument about whether or not she should talk to him. It's not appropriate. He didn't even recognize you, wake up.

Not appropriate. Not appropriate. NOT APPROPRIATE.

“Uh, Dr. Reid?” It was barely above a whisper as if she had been scared of saying it too loud. His body turning around fast was the indication she needed that he had heard her. Thankfully, his team was a little further down the hall to notice the small exchange. “Sorry, I don't mean to get in your way—”

She's completely awkward all of a sudden. Iris couldn't grasp her mind that she's been talking to this man for over a month, flirting, trauma bonding and now she couldn’t utter a word without sounding like she didn’t know a word in the English language.

“Is there— is there something you need?” He's kind. He's so kind and his voice is better than she had ever imagined. 

All of all the things she could have said, what came out is something else entirely.

“Your hair is shorter.”

Well, fuck, Iris. Congratulations, you have officially made a fool out of yourself!

“I did not intend to say that out loud, I am so so sorry, Spenc— Dr. Reid. I just, I saw a picture of yours because of an article that I read and—”

“Iris.” 

“And I—” she froze, watching a smile grow on his lips, which immediately brought warmth to her chest. Somehow, it didn't feel as if he was laughing at her. If he was then it's a beautiful sight to uphold regardless. “Yes?”

“I thought you didn't recognize me.” Spencer bit the inside of his cheek, shifting on his feet. She observed the worn-out sneakers causing her lips to twitch in amusement. One of Iris's assumptions was that Spencer was the kind of guy to wear fancy shoes — it only made sense because of the way he dressed — but that surprised her. At least she’s not the profiler. “You know, we've only been corresponding through letters so I figured you wouldn't...”

Her lips parted in astonishment. “You recognized me?”

His brows furrowed slightly, “yes. Your name is literally on the case file.”

“Oh.”

His eyes softened at her widened eyes as she processed the information. And then his brain pinched him with the fact that that's not how we're supposed to meet. Not because of a case. I'm supposed to invite her for coffee just so I can certify if she actually takes her coffee plain black with barely any sugar on it. Or a library, so we can ramble together about our favourite authors and books. 

Not.in.the.middle.of.a.case.

“You probably have a whole file about me, huh?” Her tone was playful and Spencer remembered how he grinned whenever he read her sarcasm through paragraphs of her handwriting. He learned to find Iris's humor through her words. Seeing it displayed right in front of him, full of vivid colors and a voice he tried to imagine for so long what it was like... He's speechless and already addicted to it.

“Our technical analyst probably has.” Spencer croaked out, forcing himself to avert his gaze to his feet instead. 

Iris’s eyes acquired a spark of excitement. 

“Is that the one with the clingy hugs?”

Spencer let his mouth quirk up on the edges, “yes. That's Penelope.”

“So you know all of my dark secrets before we even share them to each other.” He could hear her playful tone that carried a bit of uncertainty in the end.

“I have no reason to read your file,” Spencer said. Because he didn't. Not unless she was an official suspect. “So no, I don't know about any of your dark secrets.”

“That's good. You won't run for the hills yet.”

“What makes you think I would ever run?”

Their gazes remain on each other for a brief moment until one of them eventually caved and looks away, necks reddening, heartbeat increasing.

“Call me Spencer.” He said, squeezing the strap of his work bag until his fingers turned white. His phone vibrating in his pocket alerted him he'd taken too much time talking and less time working. He didn't want to go. “I-uh, I've read your letter. Just in case you think I've been ignoring you... I haven't. I just haven't had the time to write you back properly.”

Iris tilted her head as she leaned against the wall. “Maybe you don't need to write me back.” What am I doing? She thinks.

He cast her a look of puzzlement before his disappointment could take over, Iris was quick to clarify what she meant. 

“Maybe we could talk instead of write.” She added carefully. Confidence wearing thin. “Over coffee? Not today, of course, you're working and I'm working and we wouldn't have time but... It's—It's a stupid idea, isn't it? I'm sorry. Pretend I didn't suggest—”

“I would love to talk instead of write.” Now that I can finally hear your voice, I can stop trying to image what you sounded like through your letters. I don't want to ever stop listening to you. 

Iris gave him a look of surprise as if she had been expecting rejection because that just might have been the most out-of-place idea she had. Asking Spencer Reid out on a date while he's in the middle of a case where she works? 

“You need to go.” She mused, giving a pointed look at the vibrating cell in his hands.

“As soon as the investigation is over.” He told her after they'd exchanged numbers through their phones. Iris nodded, smiling wildly as he took a few steps back to leave her office but still didn't quite leave.

“As soon as the investigation is over, Dr. Reid.”

Spencer halts, holding onto the doorway as if stopping himself from leaving  — or staying. She didn't know which.

“Call me Spencer.” He repeated, grabbing his phone to pick up the call. Slowly, a smile etched its way into her face and his mouth followed the same action. 

“Okay, Spencer.”

Spencer nodded, holding in a smile. “I have to go.” I don’t want to.

“Please do. I don't want the FBI locking me up because I held you against your will in my office.” A joke. He liked hearing her jokes instead of reading them. “Be careful.” She requested in a slightly more serious tone, just like she always wrote in her letters addressed to him. 

“You too,” he said, taking his time to look at her one last time before he had to sprint off to where Derek required him.

It was very nice seeing you, Iris.

━━━━━━━━━ ✉ ━━━━━━━━━

A/N: hey everyone, welcome to the next phase of SBPP. I'm excited. next chapter you'll have a deeper glimpse into iris' character and some things will come to light. i'd love to read what you guys are thinking of this fic!

taglist: @lilyviolets ; @chayceschultz ; @cultish-corner ; @lover-of-books-and-tea ; @theonecalledrue

[gayautisticraccoon]

Five Questions for Five Mutuals - TDJ Edition! Thank you for the tag @queenbeyondthejudge !!! I love stuff like this <3 1. Who is your favourite character (s) from TDJ

Kang Yohan 100%, not even close. I love him sm. He's gorgeous and an amazing character. Also I relate to him more than I probably should but we don't have time to unpack all that xD 2. Who is your favourite character (s) from TDJ?

This one's hard for me, there are so many moments in this show that I absolutely adore but if I have to pick it'll be Episode 12 for the Scene after Yohans Run with the iconic "I don't care if mankind goes extinct as long as I have you two" quote

3. Where do you see your favourite character in 10 years?

God I hope he's happy. That's all I care about. Happy, feeling safe and finally able to relax and be himself. Preferably with Gaon by his side as his husband and maybe even a little daughter of their own that he can pamper and treat like a princess.

4. Why do you think The Devil Judge fandom continues to this day?

There's a lot of reasons for this I think but most important is probably how unique the show is and how amazing the community is. Like, I don't think there is a single show out there that I'd compare to TDJ. The story, the characters, the writing, it all comes together so well. It's obviously not perfect but I love it and haven't found anything that comes close. And then there's the community. I've never felt more safe and welcome when joining any other fandom. You guys are so sweet and I love that sm.

5. How did you find The Devil Judge? (What made you watch?)

This part cracks me up because it was pure coincidence for me. I have hundreds of shows and movies on my Watchlist on Netflix but decided to browse the main page instead. A few rows down in between a bunch of other shows was TDJ and I even almost scrolled past it but decided to read the description and gave it a go. Was hooked from episode 1

This turned out longer than expected but oh well lmao

Tagging @kang-yo-han @clawbehavior @ladykyrin @kmilipede @fr-wiwiw

[dumbgutt2]

some of my thoughts on season 4 (possible spoilers ahead also wall of text ahead LMFAO)

it was a pretty good season, but even if it wasn't i was gonna watch it anyway. theres def things i would've done different. i feel like nothing was really done? like it felt like nothing happened but lots happened at the same time.

i would've liked to have seen more of the boys mainly, i feel like we never saw them!!! i wish hughie was less of a punching bag with no real conclusion, like let the guy breathe. the stuff with frenchie and colin was alright, but i think frenchie could have come to the self realisation on his own without needing someone as the catalyst? after the tekknight episode its like everything from the first few episodes were just put on the back burner and forgotten about. there was a lot of stuff that could've been developed but weren't. maybe in season 5 we'll get more answers to things but thats just what i'm hoping. like what was going on with annie's powers? hello? cate and sam from gen v were just....there? idk i haven't really watched gen v tbf but they just appeared, stood around, vanished then came back briefly for the finale. also just the tekknight episode. what did we gain other than shock value? and the fact they killed tekknight off so fast too felt so lacklustered. there could've been so much done with his character but there was nothing. the episode itself felt aimless really, and it could've been condensed into half the episode it was instead of the full hour. i would've been more effective if things were more so implied instead of shown outright for the le weird freaky shock value, and that would've cut so much time. it just wasn't funny???? made me roll my eyes a lot like we get it, we don't need to see all this. also neuman's death??? i was so mad. i did like some things though were the storylines involving MM. he's been a fav of mine since the start and i think everything that was going on with him made a lot of sense. i did like as well the brief (and i mean extremely brief) glimpses into hughie and annie's relationship and how its developed over the years. sage and firecracker were interesting, mainly sage since i feel like we didn't see that much of firecracker other than her being like a starlight hating past groomer who is obsessed with homelander. sage was fun, i liked a lot of her scenes. again though, i felt like there just wasn't enough. in the past seasons when a new character is introduced by the end of the season we know them pretty well and have a good understanding of them, but this season it felt like we didn't really get to see anything. maybe thats just me.

overall it was a good season. i did enjoy it like usual there were just things i wish were different. now to ramble about production because i'm a lame little film student. from a production standpoint it was very strong, like the other seasons. the effects were great, i do love the practical effects used in the show. good soundtrack, great costume design on the new characters. everything looked great. as someone who wants to specialise in production design i always love the effort put into the set design of the show, and i feel exactly the same about it this season.

i just really hope that season 5 wraps everything up, since season 4 felt like it was just an introduction of the 5th season. these are just my thoughts of course and i've probably forgotten a lot, let me know what you think.