#but also bitter abt all the things i’m missing out on

[chemicaljacketslut]

the way i’ve changed soo much in the past couple of years.. was just looking thru my instagram (inactive for like 2 yrs) and like. that’s not even me. i don’t even recognize that person. and in some ways i’m definitely better and in a better place but i’m other ways i feel so much worse… and i do think this mostly feels weird bc im in such an unstable transitional period where i have no idea who i am and all i feel is nervous for the future. once i’m on stable footing i probably won’t be put in such a tailspin by some old pictures. but goddamn they are spinnin my fuckin tail tonight

[cakeboxie]

Our own starlight

A SFW Modern AU Halsin x Tav/Reader ficlet

“What’s something small you miss? From living in the forest I mean.”

“Starlight. It was one of the first things that really threw me off about this… place. Night is unbearably dark, yet somehow unpleasantly bright at the same time.”

TWs: Family death, grief, spoilers abt Halsins backstory.

Reader is gn and undefined besides working in a greenhouse.

AN: waugh this is just kinda word vomit following me having a really good idea. It’s entirely unedited so if you see any errors no you don’t <3

Also I am fighting for my life trying to find a voice for halsin bear with me please.

Halsin remembers being a kid in the cabin his family lived in. His mother teaching him how to cook alongside his younger siblings.

He too remembers sitting outside with his father, the chill of fall nipping at his face while he was taught how to pick good sticks for firewood; along with the promise that next year he’d be old enough to help split up logs with his father.

He remembers a thick book shared between him and his eldest sister while she taught him Druidic magic, and the terror on his mothers face when he gave himself fuzzy little bear ears (and his sister laughing because couldn’t figure out how to get rid of them.)

He remembers being sick, just a little sick. A stuffy nose and a sore throat he caught from falling into the stream in late November when the frost set into snow.

He remembers burying them all that spring.

He didn’t want to, but he knew that disease clings to corpses long after the flesh chilled. He thanked Silvanus that the illness came in December and not one of the warm months that would’ve forced him to bury them immediately lest he meet the same fate.

He remembers the following winter being warmer than usual, but little else of the year.

Halsin knows now that he had gotten lucky, unbelievably so. The gentle winter allowed him to live despite being unwilling to split his own firewood, it allowed him one year to prepare himself before he was truly forced to acknowledge the finality of it all.

He remembers finding his balance the following year. Their garden took quite of bit of work to recover after being abandoned for a year. But he managed it, along with making himself some traps based on some diagrams in an old book and the odds and ends he remembered learning about how to make them more effective from his mother.

“So… why are you here?”

They look up at him, visibly confused.

“Not that I don’t like talking to you- but it seems like you were managing fine past the first year.”

“The expansion of the city drove the animals away. Then men in suits appeared at my door asking for documents I didn’t have. Proof of ownership and deeds to the land our cabin was on. They threatened to arrest me for squatting if I didn’t leave.”

He sips his tea, it was brewed far too hot. Leaving it bitter even with sugar, but it was something he could afford, which seemed few and far between lately.

“I only recently learned what squatting actually is. They’d looked at me like I was a fool for asking”

“That’s… Gods I’m sorry. I can’t even fathom how shit that must’ve felt, I’ve always lived in the city so…”

“It isn’t all awful; being in the city. Living is a much more manageable kind of tiring.”

He was lucky to be as strong as he is, he’d manage to land a job as an unskilled labourer. As much as he resented the title he knew it wasn’t a slight, he didn’t have any of the certifications or diplomas required to hold any other station at the greenhouse he worked in. Even if he knew more about many of the plants they grew from his own personal experience working with them.

One thing of many he’d yet to get used to. Your experience doesn’t matter in the city unless you have a piece of paper proving it.

“That’s fair I suppose… I would give damn near anything to be able to be self-sufficient like that… Alas I’m doomed to forever be a slave to capitalism.”

Halsin wants to tell them that they’re not.

He wants to say that if enough people stopped thinking that they don’t have the option to rebel the entire system would fall apart.

He bites his tongue, figuratively and literally. Wincing as the sharp taste of iron settles in his mouth.

Well, it’s not like his tea could’ve gotten much worse.

“What’s something small you miss? From living in the forest I mean.”

“Starlight. It was one of the first things that really threw me off about this place. Night is unbearably dark, yet somehow unpleasantly bright at the same time.”

They nod, and ponder their tea for a beat.

“Do you have any plans tonight?”

“How forward.”

They scoff, but it lacks venom.

“Just answer me you dork.”

“No I do not.”

Their smile widens considerably.

“You do now, assuming you don’t mind coming over to my apartment.”

He nods in agreement, and they beam.

Another thing that’s definitely not awful about living in the city is them. He had met them through the greenhouse they both worked at, and had kept contact after they had quit.

The afternoon passes by as it usually does during their little dates. They would talk about their job and their cats, he would reply in kind. His tea went cold long before he finished it, and he’d thank the barista as he handed their mugs across the counter.

The walk to their apartment was nice. He realized as they spoke about the bus they missed how much he missed not being alone.

It was a long walk, he silently thanked Silvanus.

Their apartment was almost identical to his on the outside. Grey building, black doors, painfully sterile.

The inside however, was not. Almost every flat surface was plastered with posters and prints, the shelves full of knickknacks and candles more so than actual books.

“Okay so, I don’t have a couch obviously because I have a studio apartment but my bed doesn’t have the best view of the thing I want to show you.”

They push some things haphazardly out of the center of the room, before pulling a blanket off their bed and laying it out.

“Gods this is so sketchy I’m so sorry- Lay on this and close your eyes.”

“It’s alright. I trust you.”

The blanket is soft, but thin. The linoleum below digging into his shoulders as he lays down. There’s a soft click and the lights turn off, they settle beside him after a moment.

“Okay. Open your eyes.”

It takes him a second to put together what he’s looking at.

Stars. Painted on the walls and ceiling between the posters and tapestries, glowing in the dark of their apartment.

“It’s obviously not as pretty as real stars but… I dunno I’ve never been far enough out of town to see many real ones so I made my own starlight.

“It’s beautiful.”

He doesn’t need to be able to see them to know they’re smiling.

© cakeboxie •• 2023 •• Please do not translate/repost. reblogs are appreciated and requests are open!

Part of the @eveningatthrmoviesnetwork

~~

Taglist: @yarnnerdally • @starrry-angel • @yuelqnn • @yeonpm • @beardedladyqueen

Wanna be added? Send me an ask off anon and lmk if you want to be on the sfw only list!

[tojikai]

Ya I don’t feel all that bad for naomi 🫢 like you said, what did she expect going into a relationship with a guy who broke up with his baby mama a week ago like that situation is just ripe for drama. Also the way she passively let y/n be trampled on by satoru and his demon of a mother. Just going with the flow and smiling pretty when they did the family portrait and holding Yui as if she was hers (like why did she have to hold her? Did satoru lose function of both arms at the time or?). I know some of y’all wanna make excuses for her that satoru enabled her by not putting a stop to it and whatnot but that’s a grown ass woman. She is a grown ass full on adult woman, and you’re telling me that without satoru holding her hand and explaining to her about boundaries and having empathy and treating someone with basic respect, she wouldn’t know how to act?? Come on lmao let’s not be silly now

If she doesn’t know how to act in situations like that, how is she coping with the intricacies of social interaction in her day to day life, at work etc? I’m not buying her whole “I didn’t know I was doing anything wrong” act, therefore the only other explanation is that she knows her actions were out of line and she did them anyway cause she’s an asshole who thought her behaviour could go unchecked because at the time she was favoured by satoru and his mother lol it’s gonna be a bitter pill to swallow when she finds out satoru doesn’t love her and in fact loves y/n

Also we thought miss girly in permanent mark was innocent at first too but she turned out to be a snake in the end so I wouldn’t be surprised if Naomi turns out similar (I agree with the anon that said she’s giving off baby trapping vibes). I think she enjoys the attention and privileges and prestige that comes with dating the Gojo Satoru too much to go down easily. I wouldn’t at all be surprised if satoru’s mother tries to get her to do something shady when they have their meeting. She’ll probably try and paint y/n in a bad light and say she’s seducing satoru or some shit (Which is so dumb cause it truly seems like she thinks satoru has no autonomy of his own like? He’s a grown man but alright go off) Knowing Naomi’s ass, once their plan backfires and satoru becomes aware of their ugly personalities, she’ll say she was only doing what his mom told her to do and she had no idea that she was doing anything bad 👉👈

Speaking of I hope Satoru gets wind that his mother actually physically assaulted y/n because it didn’t seem like he knew in the last chapter when he woke up and interrupted their fight. I feel like he would’ve had an angrier reaction than just pleading with his mom to leave them alone. Yeah that woman is literally the worst. All that money to her name but no class 🙃

ooh, that family picture, i got a little more story about it. i mentioned in part 5 that naomi liked to think about satoru and yui as her own family. even before they became official, it just crossed her mind but it's more of like just her imagining having a family of her own. and when that picture taking stuff happened, they were just starting their relationship that time and that's when she really felt like they were a family, especially with the fact that satoru's mom favors her and thinks she's the better woman for her son :'')) it was a painful memory to yn bc she had to stand there and watch them :(( but anw u got a lot of things right, like his mother badmouthing yn, and trying to get her to do something shady😭 the slap was explained, he saw it when he moved her to bed and fought w his mom abt it. and the only reason satoru couldn't react more then, was bc yui was there :((

[vesperewrites]

woah. i think i recognize the tone/typing mannerisms of that one weird anon and believe they’ve been in my inbox before, shitting on my fics and art with no real critique behind their insults. just like now, all they’re spewing is pure hate backed up by no real reason and what i think is a sad, unnecessary form of jealousy. i’m guessing from your last post they’ve decided to use up all their cards and rlly drive the message that they’re a bitter loser by perhaps insulting you and your craft in some shape or form (tho if they haven’t and i totally misread, just know the following sentiment is still true lol). i just wanna say— the way you carry yourself and have been giving rlly informed and supportive conversations surrounding certain lucemond topics as well as your writing are rlly, rlly good and important. it showed that most of us still read, support, and appreciate one another and that’s what matters. i feel like the main thing ppl should understand abt ff writers is that this is definitely a hobby for us, as we have real adult life’s. so that being said, anybody having these extreme and emotional issues with fandom and fiction that upsets you so much enough to blindly attack should just take up another way of spending their free time.

also idk if you’re taking up anymore recs but a fandom og who left/deleted their works revealed their last known pseudonym as @aelussy and their fics are just phenomenal. ‘apex predators’ had a really fun approach to lucerys and aemond’s dynamic which i think you’ll appreciate, bc i know i can’t stop thinking abt them.

and it also begs the question: are ppl just so blinded by nostalgia that they don’t even recognize the supposed ‘lucemond peak writing’ even if it’s right in front of them, just under different usernames? idk, it just makes me think all those things that anon supposedly misses (since it truly never rlly left) is just an excuse they tell themselves to justify shitting on ppl.

Yeah, it's truly bizarre. I'm sorry that happened to you :/

Criticism and open discussion is fine. There's nothing I can to say to someone resorting to ad hominem attacks or making a hasty generalization (logical fallacy) argument. At the end of the day, it's just opinions. And agreed with you. It reads as jealousy, insecurity, or attention-seeking. Nothing I can do about that.

Ah, I didn't think they insulted my work at all, but even if someone did, it's honestly fine!! My stuff is very rough/imperfect (I say this with absolute love to myself) and nevertheless I'm proud of it.

Ah, thank you very much! That's very kind of you to say. Disagreements can be healthy, but both parties need to operate underneath good faith as a means and end goal to try to understand one another. Supporting others is very important to me.

Ff is definitely a hobby I do in my free and even then...I'm a slow writer. 💀 anyone taking it this seriously might not have much going on.

I'll check out your rec :] I think I saw that it was an orphan account. I believe I read it a while back, so I'll see.

Yeah, it makes me question, what nostalgia are they speaking about? Nothing I can do about it, since I can't miss what I've never known. Like....I'm sorry...? Lol.

But yeah, plenty of talented people here from the beginning, it seems. So I'm honestly confused by some folks' takes of "the good ones left". That was the only statement I was addressing that started it all. If people want to shit on others, that says more about them than it does about me.

Thank you for your take! I'll check out your work too. :]

[allkinds-oftrash]

The Crown S5E4 Commentary

Non-Spoiler Gist: I have been WAITING for this episode! It wasn’t as dramatic as I expected but I still enjoyed it! There was an unexpected plot with Margot I really enjoyed and it was a great introspective episode for Lizzie. I LOVED the self-awareness all of them had in this episode. 

Spoilers Under Cut: 

Oooh interesting choice starting at the end of the year and her getting ready to give the speech Lmaoo "She's not getting the sympathy she wants" I'M CACKLING

Aights let's go 1992 please deliver the drama

Oooh we're starting with Margaret also I forget how religious some of them are then they talk abt their faith Margot you keep smoking like that you're going to be dead in 10 years 🤡🤡 (Bad joke Ik I'll see myself out)

OHMYGOD IS THAT OLD TOWNSEND?? IT IS I'M SCREAMING! I loved them so much in S1

Ahahah Lizzie "I'm not sure it was love" She's funny when she wants to be "Why what's it to you" LMAO these sisters I swear

Ohmygod is that Andrew?? Ew it is WHY DID THEY MAKE HIM ATTRACTIVE NO STOP IT PETER MORGAN He does look like irl Andrew and Tom Byrne (young Andrew) props to the casting dept once again

He's so cavalier about Sarah's affairs I can't??? This is kinda funny ngl SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T WANNA KNOW AND THEN HE PROCCEEDED TO TELL HER DJLDJSK I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING Also don't you dare sneer at Sarah in Saint Topaz Andrew we all know you were probably at Epstein's Island He's okay with sexual harassment/assault and pedophila but putting someone's foot in his mouth is where he draws the line???

GOOD BE HUMILIATED you prick The D word LMAO Andrew you're a grown ass man, say Divorce Lizzie you damn well know those aren't the words Ahhahahah the way he said "Divorce, Mummy" he sounded like Adele I'm screaming

I take it back, THIS IS THE WORST PERSON I know who made a great point. Gotta applaud him for being self aware about destroying anyone who is different in this family

Lmaooo Margot's start to that letter, hilarious Oh there he is - Townsend. I'm too happy to see him back to complain too much abt how he doesn't really look like his predecessor

Awww Anne and Tim she's so in love with him. Honestly one of their redeeming qualities is their love for one another.

Margot is having the time of her life; good for her! Omg my hearttt I forgot the chokehold Margot and Townsend had on me zhksnsks

LMAO “FERGIE'S STOLEN” headline I'm cracking up Hsjshsj Lizzie is having a ball isn't she. Two children want divorces another one wants to get remarried when the Church forbids it 🤡🤡

Yessss Anne DROP THOSE ENGAGMENT NUMBERS,,, W&K could never 💀💀 I love how derisive she is. She really is a badass, pity that she's most likely a racist

Awww Margot and Townsend's Greatest Hits scenes 😭😭😭 I AM SOFT WELP THAT GOT ANGSTY It was nice to see the young versions again I missed Vanessa Kirby

HAHAHA DI'S BOOK IN CHARLES' FACE as she should be Prince Harming ahahhah Boy I can call you worse things Ew God's law is marriage for life 🤡🤡 God wants yall want to be happy, he told me himself  FREEE DIANA Damn Charles go off shskjs

Lmaooo this ep is Favourite's older sister dbdkkd it's all coming around Yes you were a neglectful mother Lizzie you gave them all several parental issues shskks

Who is this man?? Porchey?? Oh lmao no he's a priest

Okay this is the one thing I won't laugh at. I didn't know this year included a castle fire. No one deserved to have their house burnt down no matter how decadent it is.

Holy shit this looks the Baudelaires Mansion after their fire. This is so sad but also amazing set design Holy shit my heart hurts

Not Margo and Townsend taking stock of the paintings xhdkjejd God they're so cuteeeee ny hearttt

Not Margot accusing Di of burning down building LMAO SHE'S LISTING THEM ALL Fair enough Margot nskdksk

NOT HER SAYING HERSELF D a m n the regret and bitterness of having lost Townsend is STRONG Yesss Leslie what a speech!! Holy shit not the parallels between Anne/Tim and Margot/Townsend God I wanna hug Margo Ohmygod she said ittt she called Lizzie the fuck out

Annus Horriblis INDEED

Tbh I really wasn't expecting the Margot of it all but I am living for it (I wanted to see Anne/Mark and Andrew/Sarah's marriages break down further on screen and them announcing the divorces)

"I don't want to pull out" That's what (s)he said 🤡🤡 Not Queen Mother lecturing her on the speech like ma'am your daughter is 66 years old let her do what she wants Not her sneering at Lizzie being depressed God I hate this bitch

Phillip being THE Wife Guy this season is something I did not expect Like he has been since S3 but like it's dialled up even more this season which makes the upcoming affair with Penny even more sad

She said it!! Annus Horriblis! I will say I appreciate this speech from her it humanised her in the eye of the public after years of never saying anything

Girlies named their dogs after alcoholic drinks lmaoo love this for them

Living for the self awareness of being blamed for everything and for most things, it is true Lizzie

The way they said I love you and was like This is too middle class let's never do it again I'm screaming

[strawberrytalia]

Answering your call abt JLD 2011:

It def cemented the idea of JohnZee being bitter/on-off exes (also introduced their relationship spinning out of a polycule with their 3rd later being a villain???? It’s a WHOLE thing akdjsj)

Imo it def suffers from standard N52-ness, trying to go scorched earth & ‘introducing’ characters for ‘new readers’, which comes at the cost of characterization for a lot of those characters. While I’m always someone that encourages someone to read for themselves, I will say this in caution: I remember enjoying it at the time I read it for the rollercoaster that it was, but I’ve never felt a need to revisit it like I have with other runs, ykwim?

Hope you have fun with your next reading adventure!

HEWHEJEJ AN EVIL 3RD??? 😭😭😭 that’s wild omg I have to check that out

Thank you very much!!! Good to know 👀 I think I will def give it a try because I don’t wanna miss out! Hopefully it’ll have some hidden gems since I do love all the mystics!

[shorkbrian]

Prelude - I need to stop catching sight of poetry on my explore page lol. This is entirely self-indulgent and very specific cause I’m rotting thru life rn and so if u dislike I understand lol. When I was in the hospital this last time it sucked rlly bad and like the awful horny degenerate I was I kept thinking abt Kirishima and soft sweet Sugawara idk lol

Pairing - Death god Kirishima x Reader

Warnings - Suicide, suicide attempt, no smut. Death. Drunk Drivers. Yandere but only a little bit and cause I can’t voluntarily accept love it has to be forced bc I cannot handle the thot of someone who is sane loving me bc there is no freaking way lol

Music - https://open.spotify.com/track/5Iy1wdO0tMaHwKnfFYtlel?si=-vqod-W6SHia8ui2Hdl_9g 

Adding this one bc it’s like one of my favorites and I wish god I wish and I hope that this year is better than the last amen lol also there’s nothing more sad to me than someone pleading and begging and crying for the year to treat you nicely like bitch u okay? no. the answer is no.

https://open.spotify.com/track/0xRO7EKgYKVB8zKIoiXMDD?si=HYBaiBzjRGmQwfCHgnTUxA

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“It hurts.” You had told him, as the entity sat at the end of your hospital bed.

He often sank heavily onto the nearest surface, as if his bones ached with the weight of his body. You saw him often during those first few days in the hospital, days spent puking up pills, every move you made monitored, doctors and nurses scolding you about the severity of your actions.

You didn’t think they could see the hulking figure that comforted you.

“I”ve heard that it’s supposed to.” The red god of death would think aloud.

“I don’t want it then.” Tears upon your cheeks, soft, misty. “Take it.”

“Your life?” A nod would affirm his question, but the red god would shake his head. “I am no thief. Not a hunter, simply a gatherer of souls. I won’t take what doesn’t belong to me.”

“Then it’s yours, have my life. A gift, from me to you. Don’t make me live it any longer…..”

His sadness would show in his eyes.

But the soul-crushing hugs that were provided were admittedly a tiny bit nice.

“You’re far too sweet for your own good. I’ll receive your life when the time is right, not before.”

“But I don’t want it!” You sobbed into his shoulder, the god seeming to be your only friend in the world.

Hands stroked along your back, soft shushing sounds as the god attempted to soothe you in the ways he knew how. Soft touches, kind truths. “Many don’t.  But it happens - life happens anyways. All you can do is find the things that make it less painful.”

“That’s not enough, it still hurts. I can’t stand it.” The sobs wracking your body didn’t stop the entity from holding you.

“I know, and I’m sorry.”

——

He’s patient and kind.

Surprising for a god who’s work involves collecting souls as if they were taxes. A job that should be bitter and tiresome, but the entity has infinite softness resting inside of him.

He walks with you, as you get “better“.

You watch him stop to marvel at flowers, to study the way dew drips from trees in little drops, eyes wide and wondering as crows startle from their perches and take off with noisy weeping.

This courtyard is drab and brown, a prison. Safe.

Yet the god of death treats the space gently, with respect. He thanks the old walls for standing, the worn stones beneath your feet. Their service is noted and appreciated. He’s so tender it almost makes you sick.

But you come to realize that he’s simply allowing himself to be vulnerable, to experience the earth and the beings in it.

For as soon as one recognizes vulnerability, which is so different from weakness or tragedy, one experiences a sense of tenderness. Without tenderness, pleasure means nothing. You need only look at the animals to see the truth of that. It is gentleness that distinguishes their playing from the actions they constantly take to ensure their survival.

You ask why he walks with you, why he is so focused on seeing you get “better“.

A soft smile, a meeting of eyes. “There is an end to your pain, sometime and somewhere. It’s most likely not here, not in this place at least-“ and he looks around, at the cold walls, the other sick patients, the staff. All human.

“-It will come. But for now, it’s enough to try and seek it out ourselves.”

You must look more sick than you really are, talking to thin air like that.

——-

Once you return home, the red god writes you letters.

He’s an old soul, an old god. You’re sure if you asked, he’d be able to recount the very first souls he reaped, a man and a woman, sinful and sweet but in love.

The letters help you get out of bed. What new stories or little quips the god has written pique your curiosity, even when you don’t want to move, don’t want to be awake or alive.

He tells you stories about certain souls, how each one is infinitely interesting, how they all interconnect.  How some of them struggle against him, however fruitlessly. But he’s not the one who brought about their death, he’s there to comfort and guide.

Other souls, (“souls like yours” he writes) welcome him, run to his arms like a long lost lover. Their death was terrifying by their own hand, and it hurt. He can’t take away that pain, those memories. The red god says he wishes those souls find peace wherever he must take them afterwards, or at least, some form of contentment.

“The meaning of life is to give life meaning, at least, that’s what seems to be the consensus.” You rip off that part of the letter, hang it on your wall by your bed.  The other letters you keep in your nightstand, content with the knowledge that there are souls out there like you

It’s hard work, creating meaning for yourself.

The red god takes to visiting you between each letter, says he misses you, the way your soul cries. He tells you that he wishes he could help you quiet it, quiet that raging, terrible storm that hurls you about.

You make him cookies - it’s the only way you know how to say thank you. It’s what your mother taught you, so it may not be right, but the god eats them nonetheless. He likes it when you eat with him, feeding you bites from his cookie, wiping chocolate off of your nose, making you laugh with stupid jokes and a mouth stuffed full of cookies.

Even if some of them are too crunchy, or others too soft, all of them imperfect.

Imperfection is the essence of humanity, he tells you, and it’s more fun eating each cookie with the thought that you’re devouring your imperfections, making yourself whole again, filling up the empty spaces in your soul.

——

Eventually, the crawl back to your feet, rise with the unsteadiness of a toddler. You fall frequently, cry often, but you’re able to get up and try again.

Some days you need to bury yourself in sadness, let yourself feel and feel and hurt. Other days are not so bad, but still tinged  with regret and fear and sadness.

The red god is by your side, gives you something to cling to when you waver.

He is always there.

He will be there when you meet your end.

The god is in no hurry.

You question why he wastes his time on you, hours spent reassuring you, talking to you, tucking you in your bed and leaving glasses of water on your nightstand before taking his leave.

Home is a feeling, not a place. Home is with you - that’s what he tells you. You take his breath away, even though he might not even need to breath because he’s the god of death. HIs thoughts muddle and he trips over his feet and can’t help himself from wanting to hold you.

You learn that even gods yearn for home.

He’s capable of feelings and emotions just like any other human. He may be wiser, and older, able to draw from experience and a deep well of wisdom. But he still feels, and feels deeply.

Just as he gives the earth around him such reverence, he extends that same  attitude when he deals with you.

“Everything I see reminds me of you. When I wake and the sun creeps over the mountains, hesitant, it reminds me of the way that you rise - haltingly, yet it happens nonetheless. The flowers in the field that so steadily grow, you’re like ground they take root in, soft and unstable yet still tenable with the potential for growth. I don’t know, I haven’t exactly held such closeness with a human-“

He trails off, but you think you understand.

Maybe you don’t. It’s hard to relate to a god.

——

A confession occurs, and you’re surprised to learn that the blood-red god of death is in love.

“What did my hands do before they held yours? What did my heart do without all of this love? I can’t hold enough of you, I carry such love for you in my heart.”

With a frail, hopeless human nonetheless.

You don’t know what to tell him, how to explain that you can barely take care of yourself right now, meet your own needs.

But the red god seems to know, seems to understand the way your breath hitches and your eyes widen. One more hug, squeezed tight to his chest while he promises nothing has to change.

Things do change, even if you wish them not to. The world doesn’t bow to your whims, nor the death-god’s.

Innocent touches, his hand on your shoulder, patting your head, offering to rub out the tension in your back after you’ve had a crushing day - they don’t feel so innocent anymore.

The constant survellience still seemed kind, and you knew it was with your best intentions in mind that the god hovered so close, invading every aspect of your life.

But a creeping tendril of unease took hold, and you worried.

Everywhere you turned, he would be there, ready to support you, walk you through anything you wished.

Again, you questioned his commitment. Why? Why you?

“I can’t explain how fond of you I’ve grown. How heat blossomed in my chest as we grew closer. There’s infinite things I wish to say to you, ways for me to express my-my love, but I’ll just let you live.”

He neither killed you nor let you live.

Was it frightening? Maybe. But you had nothing to really live for, lost, searching for your own meaning in a big big world, floundering in an endless sea of sadness and suffering. You weren’t afraid of anything the god could, or would, do to you.

Until you woke up, not knowing where you were, in pitch black.

Arms encircling your shoulders, a soft body beneath your own, holding you tightly, a hand caressing your cheek.

A sun rose, on a strange new land, on the blood-red god gazing at you.

“There seemed to be so much more time for you. But accidents happen, Drivers drink and hearts give out. I was expecting you to grow old, for us to live and love like that, see how you grew through life.”

He looked around this new world, and you vaguely remember what had come before.  A walk along the sidewalk, blaring horns, impact, blood.

“But this will be just as nice. You can stay here with me now. Life can’t cause you anymore pain.”

You don’t feel comforted by those words.  There’s no way for you to know whether this new world would be better than the one you left behind.

[chrisbangs]

Your presence on tumblr is a little comforting to me. I know that may sound sort of weird considering we’re strangers and never held a proper conversation. I remember when I first got into skz, they had just debuted and there really wasn’t a ton of content of them on tumblr but there were a few creators that I noticed often. And though I never really interacted a whole lot with those creators, it was nice to see them and get to know them from afar. I feel like many of those creators are either now inactive or deleted their account, which bums me out. You’re probably one of the only people who’s still here. And I’m not exactly sure what it is but it just feels a little comforting that you’re still around on tumblr. Maybe it’s the fact that we’re close in age? I did send a few asks in the past too and I remember you being very sweet to me…I actually just reread one of your responses to me and it made me cry a little (in a good way) since I’m not doing so great right now. Anyways, thank you for being here! I enjoy your content (including your rants) and I think you’re hilarious and sweet

hello ☹️🖤 !! i just happened to see this while i was doing some work and when i tell you i had to take a break to just cry my silly little eyes out 😭😭 whhh my heart 😓🤍

firstly :( noo it's not weird bc i feel the exact same way... i mean like... i'm miserable without the og stayblr i won't lie 😭 as nice and fun as things can be- ive said it 100 times- nothing will compare to stayblr for me in the earlier days 😞💔 idk.. it was always so much fun and everyone was so funny and warm and easy going and idk :( it was such a small warm community ?? and the fact that most of those ppl who i made friends with kinda deleted or just drifted away from here like .. part of me is like yes bestie u go live ur life away from stayblr dot hell but 😭 also the way i miss them and 2018 stayblr 😭💔 idk maybe i'm just kinda bitter and jaded abt current stayblr but.. it's just not the same to me personally anymore 🫡

and no i totally get it 😞 idk it feels like solidarity or a lil warm hug cause you've seen this person since what feels like forever ago and just been around with them and idk.. it's comforting!! they've been there in any sort of capacity right... like they're just there 🚶‍♂️ ?? idk how to explain it but you're right it is comforting 😭😭

😭😭 omg .. please :( no tears !!! im hugging u with all my love and warmth please 😭😭 im really sorry you're not doing great atp 😓 believe me it's the vibe of life rn but im :( cheering you on!! :(( i really hope whatever it is, that you can overcome it and it won't be pressuring / upsetting you forever 😭 i am sending all my love and :( hugs and warmth to you :(

i just wanted to say thanku for this ask... i feel really unwelcome and miserable on this blog ngl so 🚶‍♂️ ive been spending less and less time here :(( but this made me really idk.. happy sad 😭 like i'm glad ppl still think of me and would want my content but it also makes me so sad that other ppl feel this way too 🚶‍♂️ life kinda sucks HSNSKDNDKD 😭😭 anyway :( thanku for saying smth so kind to me.. idk if i even deserve it but :(( your words meant a lot 😭🖤🌙🐺 :(((

[it9chi]

emergency contact hcs

alternative title: it’s been awhile since you two broke up and until now neither of you changed your contact information for various reasons and because of this you are still saved as the emergency contact

kageyama: 

kageyama would either be working out or sleeping when he suddenly gets a call from a random number in the middle of the night

say like.. 2-3 am

mf wouldn’t even look at the caller when answering cs its either he got interrupted during his sessions or he got woken up

he groggily answers the phone and winces when he hears loud club music from the other end just dampening his mood a bit more lol

“is this kageyama tobio?” he hears the other line ask

kageyama suddenly sits up straight like wtf happened this time

mind you this mf doesnt even go to clubs so why would anyone in a club or some party area call him let alone get his number

“yeah. who is this?” is what kageyama replies

“sorry to bother you at this time but you are the emergency contact of miss y/n l/n and i’m here to inform you that she is passed out drunk at (club location) so if you don’t mind please pick her up for her own safety”

without a second thought, kageyama agrees and grabs his keys to his car and basically pressed on the gas and zoomed at the said location

he doesnt even realize how worried he was til he noticed how his grip on the steering wheel was so tight his knuckles turned white

even if you two broke it off, he still genuinely deeply cares for you to this extent of picking your ass up at some club doing god knows what

kageyama has probably began overanalyzing the situation and thinking it was his fault on why you were acting like this

when he arrives at the club, thankfully you were still there with the bartender

you were slouched on the bar with shot glasses surrounding you

“i just miss him so much” you cried to the bartender. “i mean i gave him everything! he was my first he even took away my goddamn virginity and yet..” you paused, lips quivering, as the thought of kageyama breaking up with you replayed in your head like a broken record

“y/n” kageyama speaks up after eavesdropping at your little rant to the bartender

you whip your head up and lo and behold, it was the guy who broke your heart. the reason why you’re in this club for the 4th time this week

“t-tobio?” you stuttered, suddenly feeling sober

kageyama cringes at the sight. your hair was all tousled, your eyebags are prominent making it look like you’ve cried for weeks or you had no sleep

but he assumes you did both only making him guiltier

kageyama walks up to you and drapes his jacket over your exposed shoulders

“let’s go home yeah?” he says quietly. you don’t say anything but let him take you home

before you two leave the bar, he thanks the bartender for keeping you safe and sound by the time he arrived (tipping him of course)

you woke up with a killer headache the next morning on his bed with a million questions running through your mind

suna: 

you and suna had a rough breakup

there were a lot of unanswered questions and overall you two got toxic real quick just a little after suna went pro

you don’t even know why or how it happened

suna would suddenly come home all stressed and shit and wouldnt utter a word to you and the next morning he’d be back to the suna you once knew

this became a reoccuring thing where it all just piled up and boom! mf called it quits after YEARS being together

and because of this abrupt occurrence in your relationship,

(you’ve broken up a few times before this btw)

he seemed to be genuinely done with the relationship (for now is what you think lol)

so you were the bitter ex girlfriend

tweeting and sharing abt very obvious and shady things abt your relationship with suna n the such

when the twins found out oh boy were they in for a surprise

you kept posting abt being single and free and all that shit but everyone knows whats the jist anyway

you two will come back to each other eventually 

suna was also being bitter and lowkey started to talk shit abt ur relationship (only to the twins tho cs suna isn’t THAT bitter)

+ the twins know its bullshit anyway lmfao

cs u also talk shit abt suna to them 

back to the story !! 

you’ve posted something very uhh you know.. something that you know suna has to come back crawling to you

so you posted on your instagram story abt ur halloween costume for this year

ironically enough u and suna had this halloween pact where y’all would dress up as couple characters and everyone on the tl always found it cute but sadly for now you are single

so you posted a very sexc selfie of u wearing mai’s costume from rascal does not dream abt bunny girl senpai

suna obviously saw this and was salty abt how you looked like that WITHOUT him

so he was mad,,, at himself and at you for some whackass reason

and to deal with his anger, he resolved into practicing volleyball surpass his limits

(mf thot he was deku or smth) 

because of this he sprained his ankle rlly badly that he ended up on the hospital

and since he didnt bother to change your contact info, you were still the emergency contact

that means you got contacted by the hospital at 11 pm 

IMMEDIATELY you rushed to the hospital cs wtf happened to your (ex)boyfriend

and when you arrived at the emergency room, you see suna sitting on the bed with his leg elevated 

“whoops” is what all suna says when he watches you go through a rollercoaster of emotions

you didn’t exactly know if you wanted to cry, laugh or be angry at his situation

laugh cs mf deserved it for breaking ur heart

cry cs u thought something really bad happened to him

angry that he pushed himself too hard for volleyball

you sat next to him and waited for his doctor to tell you what happened and what needs to be done

the doctor basically tells you suna just needs to stay at home til his leg heals before he can start playing again and you just need to be with him to take care of him n shit

nothing much tbh

just missing a lot of practice and you being around again

something he genuinely misses but acts like he doesnt

on the inside suna was glad he just needs to stay at home cs that means he can destress for a little longer and that you were there, maybe he can get you back

[c0rpseductor]

What's that endo thing you're posting abt?

oh i missed this bc i went to work on my neocities and then fell asleep but it’s um...kind of a complicated thing lol

so starting off, and trying to keep things as simple as possible, you’ve probably heard of DID. DID is a dissociative disorder caused by chronic developmental trauma, and its hallmark symptom (although not necessarily its most debilitating) is the development of highly differentiated dissociated parts, or alters. because of their constant trauma at a young age, the person with DID only learns to cope via dissociation, and over time their dissociated states form their own senses of self, essentially. that’s kind of the bare-bones version. prolonged childhood trauma leads to chronic dissociation, and multiple senses of self/alters develop. psychologically speaking, it’s called a traumagenic condition for this reason, and people who have it sometimes call themselves systems (short for system of dissociated parts).

“endogenic systems” claim to be systems (of dissociated parts, i’m really harsh about system as a word bc it stands for a clinical term) formed without prolonged developmental trauma. “endogenic” means “formed from within,” but it’s not a real psychological term, it was coined by these people to describe themselves. basically, the claim is that they have alters or whatever they’d like to call them, those alters are functionally identical to alters in DID, and therefore we’re all one happy family of “plurals,” which is a community based around Having Alters as an identity. some other weird subcultures which previously did not associate themselves with DID now use system as an identifier as well, like soulbonders and tulpamancers. “being plural” and by extension being a system of dissociated parts is treated as the same as being LGBT, and so common treatment methods for people with DID are decried as conversion therapy or murder, and people invent xeno-origins to describe their “systems of dissociated parts.” because denial is a central feature of DID, some people with DID believe they are “endogenic,” which can obviously be incredibly dangerous for their recovery.

anyone who thinks “hey, maybe you guys who don’t have a medical condition should stop comparing yourselves to people with DID, spreading misinformation about how the disorder is developed, and stealing our fucking clinical terminology” is labeled a “sysmed,” the system version of transmed, essentially, and chosen because these people think the arguments are identical despite the fact that dissociative disorders and LGBT identity could not POSSIBLY be further from similar and it’s transphobic to even compare the two.

i recently found out i most likely have DID and am a little bitter about the whole thing. the blog @pluraldeepdive also has a lot of really good posts about the ableist origins of the endogenic movement if i haven’t bored you to death.

[dykeseinfeld]

u asked someone to remind you to post about your pjo dual protagonist thalia/bianca au and i am SO intrigued by this idea please say more

anon asked: hey queen hope your homework went good yesterday 🌸…now what were you saying about thalia and bianca 😳 ?

ok y’all i’m here...the moment almost none of y’all have been waiting for....bianca/thalia protagonists with alternating pov’s au

warning it’s kind of super long and may or may not read like a 2nd grader’s semi-coherent game of pretend so under the cut it goes!

so the main things you need to know about this au are 1. thalia survives and 2. annabeth’s + luke’s ages are a lil diff bc canon is my sandbox 3. i can’t decide if percy exists in this au or not (maybe y’all can help me decide?)

so the first book:

would start a few months after grover brought thalia (12), luke (13), and annabeth (10, not 7)  to camp half blood. they were chased by monsters sent by hades on the way, and thalia almost didn’t survive, but ultimately she got lucky and managed to send a bolt of lightning through her spear for the first time and they made it into camp

it’s been some time so annabeth is happy as a clam in the athena cabin doing her 10-year-old-with-severe-mommy-issues thing and luke is actually pretty popular with the hermes cabin bc he actually Met Their Dad Holy Shit and also he’s getting pretty good with a sword

at the same time, thalia is alone in the zeus cabin. everyone has been freaking out bc they all saw the huge bolt of lightning that incinerated a couple hellhounds as they made their grand entrance and What The Fuck Child Of The Big Three???

she’s also further isolated because chiron will take her for private training sessions sometimes, since she is clearly really powerful already and also Hades Himself was trying to kill her (chiron told her the reason was the big three’s pledge not to have kids, and maybe about the great prophecy? if he tells her that then she’s sworn to secrecy)

once grover leaves on another protector assignment, thalia mostly hangs out with luke, and annabeth. luke + annabeth both will try to eat meals with her at the zeus table but annabeth doesn’t want to get in trouble and luke is genuinely making friends in the hermes cabin so thalia will feel bad sometimes and send him back

kronos, seeing this bitter isolated child of the big three’s dreams: it’s free real estate

MEANWHILE

hades is Pissed that thalia survived and zeus got to break their oath And get the glory of a prophecy child

so he sends someone to take bianca (12) and nico (10) out of the lotus hotel and casino a little early.

grover is still their protector, but since the Stirring hasn’t begun in earnest yet and hades is lowkey determined to keep them safe, they make it back to camp half blood with no escort/incident

bianca + nico are put into the hermes cabin, and luke kinda takes them under his wing bc while he’s not bitter he still needs therapy bc this 14 year old has never met a pre-teen he couldn’t try to parent

luke introduces nico and annabeth since they’re the same age and they become really good friends!! she Loves mythomagic and he thinks her dagger is super cool and they’re both just really excited about camp <3

bianca is more reserved and resistant to the whole thing, and she wanders around alone exploring and runs into thalia in the zeus cabin

at this first meeting they get into a bit of a fight bc bianca is still in shock/denial about the gods being real, but thalia at this point has zero patience for this

anyway after that and maybe another scuffle during capture the flag or something they hit it off and become best friends in the way girls can, especially bonding over how they’ve both had to take on raising annabeth and nico basically on their own at the age of 12

~QUEST TIME~

thalia is given a quest for [unspecific reason] and chooses bianca and luke, they go off leaving annabeth and nico frustrated at home

quest hijinks etc, bianca is trying to figure out her parentage + her weird mysterious powers? and thalia is arguing with luke because he’s settling into camp/hero life really well actually but she’s getting progressively angrier with the gods for trying to kill her and also keeps getting dreams from kronos and doesn’t get why he doesn’t seem to remember all of the shit that the gods have put him through

bianca + thalia have las-vegas-style-heart-to-hearts where thalia shares her tragic backstory about her mother and her brother and how hades tried to kill her and even about the great prophecy and how she’s trying on this quest bc of that and her dad but at the same time these dreams are making her suspicious that he might’ve been responsible for her mom’s death.

bianca then shares her own stuff, about how terrified she was being on her own with nico having to protect him but also not remembering most of her childhood and not remembering her parents or how she ended up in the care of this lawyer and just the absolute mindfuckery that her memories/past are

luke is asleep in those scenes i guess lol 🧍‍♂️

anyway eventually they finish their quest in this massive climactic battle where bianca discovers her powers in a huge-showy-”i’m the ghost prince”-way and is formally claimed by hades which thalia sees as this Massive Betrayal obviously and bianca is horrified too because she knows what hades did to thalia but at the same time she’s just so happy to finally understand at least part of her past

thalia just reaches a breaking point though because everyone around her just doesn’t understand her anger and just when she thought she had found another sympathetic person who understood what she was going through she joins hades??? no. no fucking way. kronos reveals that he’s the one who has been sending her dreams, prob by sending some messenger who he possesses or smthing and when he offers thalia the chance to join him? she does (dun dun dun)

main beats of the rest of the series:

thalia and bianca on opposite sides of the war training to be the prophecy child, they come together a Lot and have like melodramatic fight scenes where they talk out their anger and try to get the other to join them bc they don’t want to kill each other

luke is extremely conflicted/betrayed and there’s a titan’s curse moment prob towards the end of the third book where they’re fighting and thalia is trying to get her to go with him but here he actually does go to join her (gasp!!) and is evil for at least one book but his heart’s not in it and he goes back to the good side eventually

by the point of luke’s betrayal, annabeth and nico are growing and developing and old enough to go on quests w bianca and by the last book they’re a main trio of sorts and their hypothetical character development is already making me emotional

there’s just a lot of general sexiness with foils and inner conflicts and bianca doesn’t even want to be the prophecy child but she needs to for the fate of the world and bianca is so angry at thalia bc thalia is a daughter of zeus and could control her powers and is perfect and just meant to be the prophecy kid, not some daughter of hades who they didn’t even have a cabin for before

hm maybe by either the last or second-to-last book thalia + bianca are close to reconciling or at least their interests are aligned for the moment and they read the text of the prophecy together and things go Wild bc they both think “single choice shall end his days” either is about luke or nico and it turns up the gas to their fighting both of them care about both of them and yeah

and then i can’t decide if there’s romantic arcs at all but if there were it would go like this:

just a dash of thaluke where at first it was luke having a one-sided crush but thalia misses him a Lot after she goes to kronos and wonders if it’s that she misses him or if it’s something More until to get him to defect there’s like a melodramatic moment in the fight where thalia kisses him and they go off to be Evil Together but it ends bc luke doesn’t believe in the cause and only joined her in hopes of getting thalia back to his side

once luke leaves/is kicked out thalia realizes that she didn’t love luke she just wanted a family and also in the second half of the series she realizes she’s a lesbian as a parallel to her redemption arc

bianca meanwhile is unconcerned w romance until she has her botl-hoe-moment where within one book she 1. runs into the hunters on a quest and has a thing with zoe nightshade who tries to get her to join plus tells her about that time she met thalia, 2. she goes to calypso’s island and falls in love w her in the moonlight or w/e and has her what-if moment, and 3. when they meet up that book thalia somehow knew abt zoe + calypso and seems almost angrier abt them  than the war?? weird bc bianca knows that thalia is Totally Straight right??

my main point is that bianca/thalia is our friends-to-enemies-to-lovers endgame thank you i will take my pulitzer now

[ranboo5]

Dropping the Ranboo mixtape

Anyway at time of starting to write this post I had two likes and two affirmative replies, which is Good Enough For Me, so here I am :D I was gonna link the YT but on second thought my YT channel is a mess so this is gonna be one of the annoying ones that doesn’t link to one you can actually listen to but 

This is also a running list and currently organized roughly by increasingly hotter takes and it’s under a cut bc it’s 13 songs and I justified all of them 

Everybody Likes You (Lemon Demon) - LISTEN THE ANIMATION MEMES WEREN’T LYING THAT EVERYBODY LIKES YOU CAN RANBOOCORE. The increasingly distorted, incredibly bright repetition of EVERYBODY LIKES YOU EVERYBODY LIKES YOU EVERYBODY LIKES YOU until you can hear it morphing in and out of EVERYBODY LIED TO YOU? Tell Me That’s Not Him In The Spiral Depths 

Tall (Naps the Block on YT) - This is a) literally a theme for the End, b) sounds stumbling and anxious/high-strung, and c) echoes the Pigstep melody in the middle while still very much doing its own thing this is self explanatory 

Dance of Thorns/Old Secret mashup (Tensei and James Roach respectively, feat. woodfur00 on YT) (yes this is Homestuck music) - It’s just the vibes. The energy. The way the elegance of the violin lines of Dance of Thorns sounds almost nervous especially against the almost noir mystery vibes of Old Secret, and the guitar lines of Dance of Thorns add like. Initiative/urgency especially when they underlay the other music it’s so good I don’t think either song alone is Ranboo vibes but this remix definitely is. Just the mix of perseverance and desperation and melancholy and mystery and Class 

Touch-Tone Telephone (Lemon Demon) - This one is old news but tbh it just works. Man decides he’s the correct one in this situation and he’s losing his entire mind that no one is listening to him because he just is not 

2012 (Will Wood) - This one isn’t really clever it’s just about memory loss, derealization, identity, and often self-hatred (“A miserable fuck, but a loud Tao mystical” is a lot). “Did you lose yourself?/It’s always in the last place that you check” sounds so mocking in ways internal monologues like Droice have been and “I might find myself/By retracing my steps” is literally just Ranboo dealing with the Enderwalk; “And not until lobotomy abolished my monotony/Did I applaud autonomy, and modify a lot of me!” works so much for him Dealing With Himself generally, and also “I heard the world would turn to hell/Compared to that, I’m doing well!” is a Him sentiment 

Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In! (Will Wood) - Jokes about the three hour mining/grinding streams aside. Not only is the chorus so heavily a spiral/self-evaluation mood, but literally consider his thought processes abt the things he’s done/allegedly done and then consider “My dreams were shattered like a stained-glass window/Jesus in pieces! I believe I through a brick right through Him/But my memory could not be saved!/It just seems unlikely that it’s me who was to blame/So I bookmark my DSM, ‘cause I need to remember my place.” And now with the advent of the “experiments” the second verse’s “Take the road on higher ground, and tell me ‘don’t look down! You’ll fall and break your back’/But that just reminds me how there’s more to be found beneath the black!” is more relevant than ever 

Friends With You (The Scary Jokes) - Oh my god. Oh my fucking god man. This could be on here for “I put myself to bed just halfway through the party/I love all my friends, but I hate when their eyes are on me” alone but the general almost empty saccharine vibe of the song is immensely his vibe; the humorlessly-smiling vocal fry on “don’t know” in “Why do you pretend/You don’t know who’s to blame?” is probably responsible for 80% of this read. Not to mention the first lyrics are literally “How long do I have to wait/’Til my lonely days are over?” which is really the. The waiting it out man the So When Do I Get To Be Okay of it all. Shoutouts also to “And the crumbling infrastructure no one else can see,” the self hatred of “I miss being friends with you/But what can I do/What can I do/But leave you alone?” and to “And I can tell you really love me/Can you tell I’m really sorry?” Just. The mix of hope+affection and dejected cynicism and self-hatred in the lyrics

Saline Solution (none other than Mr Wilbur Soot) - Remember what I said about waiting it out until you get to be okay? Anyway that’s crystallized in “If I could just break one more night/Maybe I could wake up and feel alright” and also this is literally a song about catastrophizing and self-evaluation just,, in general and I will not be highlighting all the lyrics about this but I will highlight the fact that he literally calls himself pragmatic and also the lyric “blurring the facts and the fiction.” Also, the sheer desperate anger-concealing-breakdown vibes of “I think I’ve made my choice” to “I think I’ve found my voice” deserves a mention, as does the culminating end of “saline solution to all your problems” with the tears+now splash water motifs of it all with Ranboo I am going to die 

Funny (The Scary Jokes) - This is actually a softer take but not only does it literally start with the singer pleading with the addressee to look away, it  continues with “I went up in the middle of the night and I climbed right onto the stage/And I raged/And I cried/Oh, what a funny joke am I” disregarding everything as performance, reemphasizes the opening demand with the qualifier “it’s not that I hate you, it’s just that I’m funny these days,” and then kills you with the last couple lines which. Yeah he does care and it does,,, just,,,,, a

Chemical Overreaction (Will Wood) - This is where the mood VIOLENTLY whiplashes because this is where we get unhinged. Anyway “I won’t stop to drop to draw a line in the sand/’Cause I’ll be picked apart to pieces by coyotes!” is LITERALLY the whole “I don’t do well with ‘peer pressure’” thing. “Where the sentimental value of the city around ya/Is deleted obsolete, but still completely will stun ya” is the single most L’Manberg lyric I’ve ever heard, especially from the perspective of a character whom I will repeatedly insist is narratively in the role of someone who’s shown up and seen the status quo as an outsider after it’s been established (hence the eternal New Kid vibes). Chorus very much has vibes of Ranboo Is Seized By The Urge To Do Something, and like. The entire dramatic end part. The last two lines especially (be very careful if you look up the vieo for this by the way it is NOT pretty; cws in the video for flashing, blood, suicide imagery) 

A Mannequin Adrift (The Scary Jokes) - The Bitterness. This song is just fully The Bitterness at the environment he’s stuck in; the saccharine comes back as does the “peer pressure” thematic and just the Having An Awful Time; the sarcastic saccharine comes back too, which is always good I love passive aggression. Honestly the first verse is just everything like just listen to it it immediately makes sense

Poison Ivy Grows (The Scary Jokes) - This is overall a song about having bad brain and not knowing what the hell to do about it; it’s so faintly bitter and distant and melancholy and also so zoned out. Also, it’s not the only lyric that matters here but it is enough to be a full argument on its own: “I used to spend so much time/Wandering around outside/Now I’ve got too much on my mind/Now I’ve got too much on my mind” 

Spring Haze (Tori Amos) - Listen. Do I know what Spring Haze is about? No. Is that gonna stop me from saying it’s about Ranboo? Also no. I just think “You say we’ll never make it there/So all we do is circle it” is so much, the fact that the bridge at the end is just “Why does it always end up like this?” repeated, and that it just feels so much like overall the song feels like a desperate attempt to figure Something out, and the chorus is just inexplicably him? It might be partially influenced by the fact that “Uh-oh, let go, off on my way” and, to a lesser extent, “Uh-oh, way to go” is not only in accordance with character vibes but also vaguely evocative of Ranboo’s speech pattern

[wowtobio]

pls feed me with ur incredible writing. Iwa angst bc I haven't cried in a while lol.

Cheater! Iwaizumi x reader (angst)

──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ────

a/n: haha this made me laugh, ur too kind my writing is not that good so i cannot guarantee tears

It’s been awhile since I wrote my guy iwa and angst, hopefully this doesn’t turn out too bad eheh this is also sort of like an 800 followers special. Thank you all so much for following and reading my works, i cannot express it any other way :)

warning: angst, cursing, slight mentions

Part 1 | Part 2

You expected this to happen, as hard as it is to swallow the bitter truth that threatened to burn down your whole marriage. This man, what happened? The time he would sacrifice in order to spend just some time with you, only now consumed by his company forcing him to work overtime presumably. The words he spoke to you, full of meaning were now void of emotion and as cold and sharp as icicles hanging from the rooftop edge during winter nights. The love and adoration his eyes used to hold catered only for you.

Where did it go?  

Suddenly, the golden band adorned with emerald jewels did not shine as brightly as it used too. Though you kept yours on, it seems his own band was often absent. But you bit your lip, afraid to voice out queries that could end up in another pointless argument. 

The door shut hard, yet you do not jump from your seat like you used too. Keeping your blank eyes forward staring at the static of the television. No words, no welcomes were heard. 

The calming night breeze coming from an open window only served to add more coldness in the living room.

Recently, all the nagging you did would not serve you both justice. You were only worried for your husband, why did it seem like all he did was yell at you? A simple question concerning what was for dinner would always end up in heated words. 

“You can eat alone.” 

“But, I just wanted to eat dinner with you, I waited so lo-”

“And why should I care? Just leave me be I’m too tired to deal with you right now.”

But, you always seem like you don’t want to deal with me..

Soon, it all ceased to exist. Any conversation or fight in this matter, it all scurried away as fear of more spiteful words would dig deep into your chest and sting greatly. 

But tonight was different, you just missed him so much.

Standing slowly, you trudge behind him wordlessly wrapping your arms around his torso and burying your face into his broad back. He stands frozen, you wish you could see his facial expression. Iwaizumi’s gaze is casted down at the arms enveloping him.

You guessed your arms were pretty skinny now, when was the last time you even had a proper meal? 

You tried to ignore the feminine, floral fragrance that lingered on his button up, a scent you know for sure you did not use. 

Minutes passed, what felt like hours. After Iwaizumi snapped out of his state, he easily shrugged you off and continued to your once shared bedroom. And all you could do was hold out your now empty arms and stare at his receding form.

No tears shed, you ran out of them awhile ago. However, that familiar aching pain still stirred deep within your gut.

Another night on the couch it seems.

When was the last time you were happy? Your friends voice concern for your well-being, the sparkle in your eyes now dulled to a mere dull light. Eventually you stopped hearing their distressed voices when you started to decline their offers of going out.

There was no point in forcing yourself to go anywhere anymore. It was more convenient to mask yourself as to not cause anymore worry.

But, this one night you decided to go out. Maybe it was to escape the realms that reminded you of your dying relationship. You texted Iwaizumi, it’s been awhile since you clicked on his contact. And of course, no response. Probably didn’t even glance at the notification. 

Whatever, you gulped down another shot, your step wobbled slightly. Things did not change, your friends held the same hidden worries for you. 

Was it a coincidence that his best friend was there? I mean he was quite the party animal nowadays. His casual, flirty tone ignored by you. Until you voiced heading home early, not wanting to keep your husband waiting. Oikawa’s eyes darkened, he knew something you didn’t. 

And that something was met with you when you quietly open the door to your shared apartment. The thumping of your heart was probably louder than the one heard from your shared bed. 

Suddenly, your surroundings were starting to blur in your vision. Was it the alcohol? Or have you finally lost it?

Hands shaking, you grasp the golden doorknob. Nothing to lose now, as you swung open the only barrier hiding the ugly truth. A shriek, a barely audible gasp and a sob. 

He didn’t even react, he didn’t scramble the way that busty bitch did when she made futile attempts to pick up her clothing and leave. He didn’t even look at your trembling form. 

After the woman hastily left your apartment, taking your dignity along with her. All you could do is silently stand there, hot tears streaming down your pale complexion. Hajime’s eyes, as always casted down at the sheets he committed great sin in. 

You make eye contact with him one last time. It was only a second, yet you saw it all. All the lies he hid, the hatred he held for you. He hid it so well, and you were a fool to not notice how obvious it was.

No more, you ran out of the apartment in the same fashion that woman he indulged with did. 

Days passed. Weeks as well. No apologies, no contact, no moments of crossings, nothing. This is what your marriage has come too. Months of drowning in tears and alcohol.  

The feeling of worthlessness, ugliness, everything negative consumed your being during this dark time. Your phone untouched, flooded with texts and calls from friends and family. But you didn't have the energy to respond back with empty lies. It didn’t matter, out all of those messages his name never popped up. 

How could he do this to you? How could he love you to the point of marriage only to ignore you til the downfall? How could he steal everything away from you like this? Your first kiss, your first time, your hand in marriage. And to just take that all away and leave you with absolutely nothing but heartache and painful thoughts. 

You pondered this, who knows how long you will continue too. And as you scroll down your social media feed for the first time in awhile, Oikawa’s constant post flooded your timeline, one particular caught your eye. A candid selfie of the pretty setter, your ex-husband and a girl clad in a white sundress and sun hat. The girl had perfect wavy, long brown hair that complimented her hazelnut eyes. A body of a goddess and a beautiful smile. Her delicate and dainty arms wrapped around the bicep of your ex-lover. 

Hajime’s face was caught off guard, yet overall he did not seem the least bit effected by the events that happened just months ago. 

It broke you, why was he happier now without you? Though he left you all alone to wallow in your own sadness and selfishness. 

You did not get it, and you never will. As you sobbed deeply into your arms on that cold night, the stars shone brightly into the room barely enveloping your quivering body, all you could ask yourself is where did it all go wrong?

──── ∗ ⋅◈⋅ ∗ ────

a/n: idk abt y’all but i think the most painful heartbreak is watching someone fall out of love with u. but once again thank you for reading my blogs you guys :’) i seriously cannot thank you enough 

masterlist

[danteinthedevildom]

yes! i hate it when people say belphie doesnt care for mc, this is a personal opinion but i feel like even if we werent related to lilith (and somehow we came to life again) he would be close to us, and try. seeing how the people he cares about the most react to someone he thought was just a human dying would probably push him to get to know MC. i know some people also think and argue that beel sees MC as a replacement for lilith too; but i know 100% he doesnt, he hasnt been able to verbally talk about his sisters passing to anyone, i mean almost right after she died belphie was taken away and beel assumed he was in the human world on "buisness", so for beel to openly talk about lilith with us as much as he does it feels special. i know he sees mc as their own person because of how much hes able to share with us, beel talking with mc about his feelings means hes able to finally move on, not to say that he'll forget about her, but he knows hes ready to finally stop beating himself up for it yk? i feel like people were also conflicted about seeing belphie as someone who cares for mc, especially the 180 he does when he finds out we're liliths relative; but belphie has had so much trauma, seeing the person he loved the most die, being separated from his brothers for years and years, etc. he was locked away with his mental illness for a long time, the anger bottled up and he took it out on mc, of course it explains it but it doesnt excuse it, you can still continue to hate belphie idc but i feel like he loves mc more than the other brothers do because of it, its the same thing with beel, mc allowed both of them to cope and talk to them about their sisters passing, yk?

Honestly the whole of Chapter 16 and associated fallout is p. controversial simply bc of it being us that it happens to; the game's written for us to imprint on the MC, and because of that, some scenes - like Belphie's betrayal and his glee at having killed MC - becomes very, very personal. It's very easy after that to become biased against a character, because there's genuine emotional scarring that we're left with as players that the game then just... fails to acknowledge to its fullest. (Which is why we get so many "MC might have forgiven Belphie but I haven't" fics on AO3.)

But to say that Belphie doesn't care for MC is just. Wrong. And I can def. get your annoyance on that!

He didn't care for MC to begin with, yes; MC was a random human he knew nothing about, a ticket to freedom and the first step into enacting revenge for something he's carried with him for millenia. They didn't matter to him outside of that because he never got to see them - or spend actual time with them - outside of the short visits they could afford to update him on their pact progress. That's undeniable.

But to say that he still doesn't ignores the entire point of the Lilith revelation. Being related to her gives Belphie something to connect with MC over. It gives him a reason to overcome his hatred of humanity and to bond with MC in general - which is selfish, yes, and kind of shitty, true, but so much of Belphie's (admittedly misplaced) anger comes from being a survivor of an incredibly one-sided war and (arguably, in his mind) the reason Lilith died to begin with. Because Beel saved him instead of her.

It's not like any of them were ever given a good way to cope with the trauma of the Fall, or Lilith's death. It's not like any of them even knew her actual fate until Chapter 16. Belphie's way of coping was to become apathetic, and to try and place the blame onto something he could take action against.

To him, that meant humanity. Because she fell in love with a human. Because they'd already fought God and lost, so he wasn't going to get closure there - but maybe ending the cause for her death would help the hurt.

He hated humans because of Lilith. In the realm of good story-telling, the best way to end that hatred is likewise through Lilith. Stories are best when they have that cyclical nature to them - especially since it can then transition into Belphie overcoming his trauma (and Lilith's death) through humanity.

So, yeah; it's a selfish reason to get close to someone, to take back the really horrific thing you were going to do, but all of Belphie's anger stemmed from the Fall and what he perceived as her death. Finding out that she didn't actually die? That she became human - became the very thing he wanted to destroy - and lived out a long life? That she had children, and that her family line is still alive in MC? Of course that's going to stop him dead in his tracks. And of course he's going to want to get close to MC, the last remaining fragment of the sister he's dedicated his entire life post-Fall mourning.

Belphie's an incredibly apathetic character by nature. He doesn't care about a lot of things, and everything he cares about is overshadowed by how much he loves Lilith. He needs that connection to get him out of his natural apathy. He cares about Lilith above all else; he'll care about MC at the drop of a dime if they're anything to do with her.

But that's not a bad thing. It means there's an opportunity for him to genuinely get to know who MC is, in a positive light.

It's an opportunity for him to try and make a connection with MC that simply wouldn't have existed otherwise, and through them, to finally, finally put his memory of Lilith to rest. And he does! He gets to know MC, gets to know why Beel adores them so much - outside of just being "Lilith's descendant" - and ends up loving them for who they are.

He puts his hatred of humanity and his single-minded attachment to Lilith behind him, and he still cares for MC. He wouldn't do this if he'd really not formed some sort of bond with them before that point. If he only cared for them because they're a fragment of Lilith, then they'd mean nothing to him once Lilith wasn't such a fervent part of his daily life.

I think the game's just... really bad at showing that, however. You put it really well when you called it a 180, because in all honesty? The game glosses over it much too quickly, and doesn't do a totally good job explaining the logic behind why he'd change his mind so fast.

There's not enough time spent on allowing MC - and the player - to overcome the emotional wreckage of Chapter 16 + fallout. We're not given the chance to process it before Belphie has, to build up a natural relationship with him that transitions slowly from him seeing MC as a Lilith-connection to him seeing them as their own, defined person. It's way too easy to still be emotionally hung up on it while he seems perfectly fine and dandy.

On your bit abt him overcoming it even without the connection to Lilith - I agree tbh! There is a lot Belphie would do for Beel, and I genuinely think seeing how against him Beel is after killing MC, even if they're brought back to life, would ruin him. Belphie being locked up, trying to convince Beel that he was doing the right thing, only for Beel to disagree with him and show genuine anger/disgust, would knock the world from under his feet. If he thought trying to hurt MC would make him lose Beel too - if Beel pleaded with him to just play nice, because he can't choose between them both, not again - he'd likely (albeit begrudgingly) postpone his intended revenge plot.

And he'd try to stay bitter, and for a long time he likely would - but then he'd see how happy Beel is with MC around, and how much it means to Beel that they seem to get along, and how much Beel opens up to them about Lilith, and he'd start to... reconsider. Just a little. Just a bit. Moment by moment, day by day, until he realises that MC isn't a replacement for Lilith, but that they bring something to the table that the brothers have been missing for a long, long time.

Which would afford Belphie the moment of catharsis; where he finally, on a quiet night, opens up about the Fall. How he felt, how angry he is, how helpless. How much he misses her, how the pain and hurt consumes his every thought. And then the player would get the chance to overcome the emotional strain with Belphie, showing him that his anger shouldn't be aimed at humanity when his Father is the one at fault, and Belphie, very quietly, admitting that they're right.

It could work, and work well. It's just a point of finding - and hitting - the right story beats.

On the topic of Beel - honestly, the concept that he sees MC as a replacement for Lilith is just... I personally couldn't imagine it. I can see how someone else could - being her descendant, the attic sandwich club, their little escapade together once Belphie's back in with the family - but that includes seriously misreading/ignoring a lot of Beel's character arc/development.

Beel talks to MC about Lilith and Belphie way before he knows anything about their relation to her. He sees a lot of her in them, yes - he mentions this a few times, I think, in relation to little things they do - but he also sees a lot of what he wants to be in them - which is best seen in their ability to defend both himself and Luke, which be very subtly compares to his own inability to save both Lilith and Belphie.

To Beel, MC stands as something a little idealised. MC is everything good he saw in Lilith (as well as some of the things he loves most about Belphie), and everything he wishes he could have been. MC is a reason to be better, stronger, more capable - both so he can protect them the way they protect others, and so he can feel as if he's on their level.

But that doesn't mean he sees them as a replacement to the people he's lost. It's arguable that he's projecting, sure, I'll admit that; he sees things he misses most of the people he's lost in MC, and I'm sure forming a bond with them helped him cope while he was without Belphie. But MC is still always MC to him. They're always still their own person, and someone he cares for because of that fact.

Beel cares too much about his family to replace them with someone else. Lilith meant too much to him as a person for him to look at MC and actually see Lilith. He misses her, not the idea of her. He feels guilt that he couldn't save her. His trauma revolves almost entirely around the failure of (self imposed) duty and the subsequent loss of life. His Survivor's Guilt is the main reason Beel can't put her memory to rest - because he's constantly haunted by the thought that he could have saved her.

His trauma, the way it is, does not create a setting where he would believably see MC as a replacement for Lilith. He's all too aware that she's gone. He's all too aware that he lost something he can never get back that day. Her memory is special to him, and being unable to talk about her hurts him because that's a bit like killing her off for good.

MC can't replace Lilith, even being Lilith's descendant, and I genuinely can't believe that Beel would even want them to. He's so defensive over Belphie and Lilith, even just over the memory of them; to suggest that MC could replace one of them I feel would anger him more than anything. Not only because it's an insult to Lilith, but because it's an insult to the person MC is. To the person Beel admires.

With just how much he cares about Lilith, I think Beel's enhanced attachment to MC is more the steadfast defence of her lineage to make up for what he couldn't do for her. He still sees MC as their own person, it's just that now... now he has a chance to make up for what he failed at before. And bit by bit, he can learn to forgive himself. Can learn to stop blaming himself for something that was never his fault to begin with.

Belphie and Beel have a special relationship with MC because MC is a direct link to Lilith that helps them overcome their individual Lilith-related traumas. They're naturally going to be closer to MC due to this, yeah, but that's... not the only reason they're close to MC. To try and push down everything they feel and do with MC to "it's only because MC is Lilith's descendant" is to. Well. A) make an incredibly unsatisfying story and character development, but also B) completely ignore that MC helps them bury the memory Lilith. MC helps them move on. Their care and love for MC is what helps them finally let go - to stop living in the past, in hurt, and to finally take a step forward to a future without the weight of Lilith's death constantly burdening them.

Like. If Solmare had just spend a little more time on these two, that might be clearer. Because it's definitely there! And it's why I love Belphie and Beel so, so much. But it's also fully understandable why some players still really dislike Belphie, or why they're not convinced that Belphie/Beel see MC as anything outside of Lilith, bc the game does kind of fail on that a little by rushing a bit too much. Just. Aagh!! You know?

I could honestly go on abt them for hours. So I should prolly stop here before I go on too long adfgh.

[glare-a13]

so i finished the jeanlisa playlist! not many songs on there, but here it is :) it’s around half an hour in total, so not too bad. i figured i’d do a post explaining why i chose the songs and the (sort of) story i imagine behind it. explanations will be under the cut!

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/20XrumZtYBRtvWDBRfFaBf?si=2ny92pKySM6bD3KB_G4oig&dl_branch=1

talk about death/grief below the cut

the dandelion stands alone. the roses that once stood beside it have wilted, their lavender hue faded and their petals dried.

the overall story i had in mind for this playlist was jean dealing with the death of lisa due to her curse. it’ll be of course, from jean’s perspective but i think i have one or two that i imagined as lisa speaking. if you guys have other interpretations or think another order could be better, comment below or send it in my ask box! i’m super excited to hear what y’all think :))

die alone -ingrid michaelson

we open up with jean and her perspective on love

i’ve always thought that die alone could work for so many characters, like maki harukawa from danganronpa especially,

but i figured it could be a good one to open up this playlist with

just to show how lisa sorta

crashed her way into her life and made her realize that she isn’t just fated for some

noble.. knight… life.. yes ..?????

besties idk how to explain it but i hope w listening to the lyrics you get the gist <3

pink in the night -mitski

and here’s our first one from lisa’s perspective!

hah

what if i told you i think of it as lisa feeling alone/isolated in her final days

because

because she hadn’t told jean about the curse from the book

and she doesn’t want her darling to worry about her

she believes jean already has enough on her plate… that poor woman… she loved her so much she couldn’t bear to break the news to her

so she allows jean to continue working, without having to worry about her

hah

hm.

where’d all the time go -dr. dog

THE CHORUS

“she gets dressed up like a pillow, so she’s always iN BED / FLOWERS FOR THE SICK AND DEAD / SHE’S ON THE GO / WAY TOO FAST AND WAY TOO SLOW”

i just think. this tragic song fits lisa’s situation with the book.

i imagine this as lisa actually dying from the curse

whereas the last song is more of lisa thinking about her regrets and wanting jean to not worry about her

yet longing to spend time with her in her final days

i actually put this at the end of the playlist at first, but moved it when i thought of the point above

but “she’s on the go, way too fast and way too slow” just HURTS because i imagine jean saying it like

she doesn’t want lisa to die, but she also can’t handle watching her suffer

telephones -vacations

“i wish i could live without you / but you’re a part of me”

:))

yeah i don’t think this one needs much of an explanation

jean thinks about all the time she could’ve spent with lisa, remembering back to her fondest memories with her

regretting that she couldn’t have made more memories

hehe

rises the moon -liana flores

this one i imagine as lisa watching over jean in the afterlife

speaking reassurances and wanting to comfort her even with no way of contact

trying, urging her to move on so she can do her best to protect mondstadt, the city she loves, like she’s always wanted

she knows it’s hard to lose a loved one

the days go on… she cannot let this pull her too far from her routine

I ALSO THINK THIS CAN BE IMAGINED AS LISA VISITING JEAN THROUGH A DREAM

like the first point on this song but she speaks to jean through a dream

to reassure her that she’ll always be by her side

man i love this song sm it’s so comforting…

francis forever -mitski

now for the sake of this playlist, i’m taking some of the lyrics of this song very literally

like even the first verse…

i mean the first two lines already hit hard

lisa provided jean w something wonderful, making sure she took care of herself and keeping her company even when she overworked herself hunched over papers in the grandmaster’s office

oH! if you wanna think abt it more, i suggest going to genius lyrics and looking at the annotations made by people there, it’s a wonderful way to look at lyrics from others’ perspectives

and DON’T GET ME STARTED ON THE SECOND VERSE

“on sunny days i go out walking / i end up on a tree lined street / i look up at the gaps of sunlight / i miss you more than anything”

A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A A

AND

I DIDN’T EVEN NOTICE THIS, BUT RISES THE MOON HAS A LINE THAT SAYS

“oh close your weary eyes / i promise you that soon the autumn comes / to darken fading summer skies”

AND FRANCIS FOREVER

THE SECOND CHORUS

“and autumn comes when you’re not yet done / with the summer passing by”

AA A A A A A A A A A AA AA A

feel better -penelope scott

i mostly did this one for the first verse

like,, “no one’s ever gonna love me like that again”

ouch

“i don’t wanna get over you / i wanna sit with you in bed”

i also think of this as the… the bitterness jean feels

what once was -her’s

another one that i feel,, doesn’t really need explanation

the first verse already smacks you in the face

“i guess i knew this would happen to you / inside i did but i refused to know the truth”

she just didn’t expect lisa would go so soon, you know?

they had barely gotten to spend time together

but time is cruel, crueler to some more than others

it’s unfortunate lisa was a part of that.

i didn’t know -skinshape

i actually made an entire post abt this!

check the posts under the jeanlisa tag on my profile, it should have the song linked and i have a whole explanation about it and why i think it fits them

do better -cuco

i just thought this was a nice way to end things

perhaps set in the future, when jean has started to accept lisa’s death and is coming to terms with her being gone

knowing that even though she’s gone from the mortal realm, the love they shared will always follow her.

and that’s all! hope this all made some sort of sense; i won’t really be proofreading it or anything since it’s just bullet points mostly. but yeah, this playlist was super fun to make, even through the tears- if you think i should make more, i think i should be having either a regular, non angsty jeanlisa one or a ganyu one on the way, so woOHOO !!

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom season 2, ep 12-16 thoughts! these episodes, in comparison to the first 10 or so, felt way more laid back and low-stakes, which I appreciate sometimes. I didn't appreciate how lazy jack's halfa design was in masters of time, it made me so annoyed I redesigned it. 👎🏻 u_u

see prev episode thoughts in this tag <3

-'picking a fight with me and my upgraded form!' 'you upgraded to a mullet?' DANNNNY. YOU CANT SAY THAT TO TECHNUS. YOUVE HAD A MULLET TWICE NOW ('fun' split danny, and evil future danny BOTH HAD THEM). I HAVE THE RECEIPTS.

-danny seeing technus hurting valerie and yelling I AM GOING TO BREAK YOU IN HALF. SAMEEEE <3

-axion labs is now a part of vladco. FUCK YOU VLAD. hes not even really IN this episode, but just thought I'd throw out a nice fuck you anyway.

-'capable of blasting a single person into space in (2) minutes!' tucker. that would kill someone. i mean yeah they might get to space, but theres NO WAY THEY WOULDNT CATCH FIRE, OR THEIR ORGANS WOULDNT LIQUIFY BECAUSE OF THE STRAIN. THEY'D PROBABLY PASS OUT BEFORE THEN, BUT. ...no, okay, I get why vlad bought this company. this is RIGHT up his alley.

-danny KNOWS VAL DIDNT DO THIS, THAT SOMEONE STOLE THE SUIT. AND SPENDING ALL NIGHT CHATTING WITH HER. <3 and val is a 9TH DEGREE BLACKBELT?? danny's mom is, too!! omg and she hunts ghosts, his parents would love her. and her fav fruit is kumquat bc its a funny word. im so with danny val is amazing. I love her and I Do Not Want To Hear It From Sam.

-I knew danny wanted to be an astronaut, but the bowling tidbit is like. yes give me more useless info abt these characters, I love tiny details that make them feel more human, and im glad hes got hobbies aside from ghost stuff, we dont really see a lot of that!!! (I mean, we knew 'fun' danny from when he split himself in half liked bowling, so obv it makes sense he LIKES it, but hes very GOOD at it. so proud of him, bowling king) val calling him neil armstrong and them teasing each other. LOVE THAT.

-technus you are my favorite grandpa for setting this up. SAM WHY ARE YOU BEING SO CREEPY BE HAPPY FOR YOUR FRIEND!!! STOP SPYING ON THEM!!! who actually cares if technus did 'set them up' together, theyre having fun and enjoy each others company!!! 'you think the universe wants you two to be together?' 'i dunno, but maybe /I/ do!' EXACTLY DANNY!!! SOO TRUE.

-and valerie being happy sam said she wants to try and be happy for them and make room at the lunch table for them. and hugging sam over it. VAL NEEDS MORE FRIENDS.

-VAL GOING AFTER TECHNUS IN HER SUIT WITH (1) MILK, AND (1) TREE BRANCH AND KEYS!!!. I LOVE YOUUUU BEST GIRL. her new suit kicks ass

-dannys like 'HEY IM AN ASTRONAUT :D' AW. ...HES IN SPACE... the fact he's actually intending to give her the ring. with SAMS NAME ON IT?? IM CRINGING DANNY NO. YOU CANT DO THAT...thank god he didnt. thank god valerie cut it off and said they can just stay friends for now. tbh, they both have a lot on their plates!! they obv both still like each other...it can be a future thing!! when she knows about phantom! youre 14 theres no need to rush. I just want her to have friends and be happy :(

-...danny struggles to do (1) pull up. SAME. but all the ghost fighting in phantom form REALLY doesnt carry over at ALL? that sucks

-sam being as fit as she is, is not just a goth. shes a goth jock.

-honey I Shrank Our Kid, One of his Enemies, and his Bully: the episode

-dash's crush on phantom is So Obvious. fitness buddies :) watching them interact always makes me laugh. also, phantom, with PANTS. 'how many costume changes you gonna go through, what is this, vegas??' DASSH DJKSFHASKDF

-MADDIE GOING AFTER THE MOUSE WITH A BROOM, WHAT THE FUCK. AAAH. JUST BUY SOME KIND OF MOUSE TRAP.

-danny likes lime and vinegar chips. which sound very good.

-'our boy finally has the physical prowess of a 60 year old president!' ...poor danny LMAO

-'what's wrong with beauty pageants' oh tucker you sweet naïve child. what ISNT wrong with them. who approved this for a high school?? (I mean, yes. unfortunately child pageants exist, but...) also danny and tucker once again treating the pretty girls like objects. I need to meet the grown man who wrote this, I just want to talk...

-prince aragon's dragon form reminds me of maleficent (color scheme wise) which is always a bonus. considering the episode is called beauty marked, I feel like the sleeping beauty references are deliberate

-sam with the fake fangs. once again her accessories never miss. hate the 'not like other girls, girls who get sucked into this kind of thing are all shallow and all want to be carbon copies' bs tho.

-sam trying to be the Worst Bride, being rude as shit. DORA IS GOING TO GET KILLED. DID YOU MISS THE PART WHERE SHE SAID THE PRINCE WILL HAVE HER HEAD IF YOU ARENT THE IDEAL BRIDE. YOU /KNOW/ DANNY WILL COME SAVE YOU. JUST ACT CHILL UNTIL THEN. even if you were doing fine to get him to take off the crown, consider maybe not letting his poor sister get punished also?? sure, she could also take off the crown and has dragon powers, but did you know that for sure?? dora didnt even really realize it until you guys talked!! (or at least, she was scared to stand up to him. you had no guarantee she would...) but. good for dora. ANOTHER friendly ghost to add to the List :)

-tucker is so under appreciated in his time. if he was doing a tech-based campaign today he'd have a better shot. people in 2004 had NO IDEA how much tech would be a part of our day-to-day lives...altho. tbh if you're going to be running for student council president, maybe you should..focus on things to actually improve the school? since he's going for a tech angle, he could say like, he would be running fundraisers for the schools computers to be upgraded, etc? we've already SEEN he can be good at money-making entrepreneur type stuff!!

-oh my god wait. this episode is JUST YUGIOH?????! A REBORN PHAROH USING A TEENAGER AS A VESSEL?? YESSSSSS

-tucker using his new minion to feed him grapes and carry him. AND LOCUSTS ONTO THE BULLIES. I love how when he's possessed, he gains winged eyeliner.

-this episode is giving me big 'plankton makes everyone in bikini bottom his slaves and build monuments of him from the spongebob movie' vibes. and the pharaoh has a traitor who works for him? VERY big yugioh vibes. aknadin confirmed

-I like that danny is still completely exhausted after using ghostly wail. (still patiently waiting on him to get duplication)

-LOVE the fenton's 80s outfits. I get hes 14 and embarrassed by everything they do because theyre his parents, but. cmon, this is one objectively cool thing theyve done. love 80s fashion.

-...was vlad just standing on that streetlight waiting for danny to come out? how'd he know they'd be coming out the back? how long has he been up there???

-oh, wait, his ecto-acne has flareups? that SUCKS. danny was...well I dont want to say he was LUCKY HE HALF-DIED, but he was lucky his was pretty instant (I'm assuming that had to do with the power/scale of the portals being different?) I remember in the ep we met him, vlad made a point of saying he was stuck in a hospital for a long time, so. that really actually sucks and I feel bad. not that it excuses anything he's done...but like. it does suck.

-vlad being so sure danny wouldnt help him he made it somehow contagious to his friends to make sure he'd get help? danny is a nice boy, he wouldve helped if it was anyone else. the only reason he wouldn't have is because of the shit vlad did to him, on purpose. vlad 100% dug his own grave by being the biggest asshole, so it is very hard to feel bad for him.

-clockwork is back!!! and making danny learn lessons The Hard Way. Uhhh, okay. I kind of get Danny’s logic, that time traveling this far back would prevent vlad from becoming a halfa also, ergo no arch nemesis or ectoacne to worry about. But the fact that was basically the first solution Danny came up with to solve this problem is actually so funny. It’s so extreme

-APPRICIATION FOR THESE 80S LESBIAN BG CHARACTERS.

-vlad telling maddie in the lab (in the 80s) he has something he's wanted to tell her 'for a long time'...how long have they known each other? I assumed they met in college, since jack always calls vlad his college buddy/roommate, so jack and vlad for sure met in college, but did vlad know maddie longer? thats surprising if so. Tho we don’t know what year of college they’re in so they could mean they met as freshmen and a few years have past…speaking of maddie shes crushing the 80s look.

-vlad blames jack, but. maybe dont stick your face 2 inches from the portal??! THIS FEELS LIKE LAB SAFETY BASICS. IF SOMETHING HAS POTENTIAL TO BE DANGEROUS, DONT GET NEAR IT. WITH YOUR FACE UNPROTECTED IN ANY WAY. (altho jack didnt really give a Big Warning besides screaming BONZAI. so. also that, but cmon.) also, they need gloves, goggles, and to pull all of their hair back tbh. but fuck lab safety, I guess!

-cryyyyinnng at how lazy they were with jack's ghost form design, its just plasmius' design on jack!!! you couldve given him his own design!!

-there. I did that in about 10 minutes and its somehow less lazy than what made it into the show. embarrassing! better yet, I think the episode would've been better if maddie would've gotten the ectoacne. or maybe its just me, wanting to see her design! anyway. I'm sure people have already done redesigns of them both as halfas. I have to go look after I finish this watch through. Also mildly frustrated jacks resentment and bitterness is basically also a copy paste of vlads backstory. They’re different characters, I really don’t think jack would stew in bitterness and jealousy the same way vlad would!! I also don’t think he’d give up after one time of trying to hunt ghosts and getting laughed at. Our canon timeline says different…I dunno, I get it was for laughs, but I’m annoyed because the POTENTIAL this plot has…

-did vlad really wear a stupid cheese hat to his wedding. ok actually that kinda rules. and the cheese door knocker. the dairy-only buffet table. vlad still got rich, just on being the New Dairy King. (Assuming that means he owns a lot of dairy businesses?) ok! this actually is great. hope maddie isn't lactose intolerant!

-'no matter how hard I tried, I could never get rid of my ghost half, the half I knew Maddie could never accept' ohh, ouch, what a horrible thing to say to her HALF GHOST SON. 'YOUR MOM WILL NEVER ACCEPT YOU' BASICALLY.

-maddie strapping danny to the table with a lazer pointed at him in a secret lab she keeps from vlad that she makes a point of saying is sound proof so he can scream all he wants...CHRIST. DANNYS POOR PYSCHE.

-also, not to feel bad for alternate vlad (because, he did lie to maddie saying jack blames her and never wants to see her again...) but. being married to a woman 20+ years and she immediately goes back to jack? if she didnt love vlad and feels like she had to hide shit from him, and says she wasted her best years with him, WHY MARRY HIM. it feels like leading him on!!! cannot believe im feeling bad for vlad, but. this alternate timeline vlad is significantly Less Horrible than Our Vlad. did she not think she'd get funding for her ghost stuff? (which, fair assumption since they're considered 'ghost fanatics/nuts in canon...but...) why did she think jack or vlad would be her ONLY OPTIONS? be like your sister. be single. Actually, this au could’ve been really interesting if after the accident, vlad lied to her and said jack never wanted to see her again, but she stays single. Imagine how much that would bug vlad… like, in her mind, it was never a competition it was jack or no one type situation…

-danny being like 'leave him ALONE' this jack is a HOMEWRECKER, DANNY. let them go to court and settle this at the least. ...or just throw vlad into the portal. (100% human, defenseless vlad) CHRIST, MADDIE THATS BRUTAL. THATS MURDER.

-danny seeing his mom immediately accepting him and his dad being half ghosts in this universe, if I was him this would be a great sign that his universe's maddie would also.

-*maddie voice* "clockwork will help!" *2 seconds later, with clockwork* "I will Not Help." TOUGH LOVE KING. YES LET DANNY SEE THE SODA HIMSELF AND DEVOLP BETTER OBSERVATION SKILLS.

-when clockwork ""reset time to the way it was"" just before danny "meddled"" ...did he really erase a whole alternate timeline? ...damn. because maddie and danny both called it an alternate timeline by name, it splitting when the college incident went different, so it wouldnt have really mattered if he reset it, right. like because danny's timeline is on a different stream? why didnt clockwork just. show danny a replay and not Reset That Timeline. wh...I wonder how many people that Erased From Existence. Anyway! once again stating clockwork is casually terrifying!