#but also did castiel confessing his gay love and going to the empty mean NOTHING to you people? /jokes

[driftwooddestiel]

so annoying when people go Oh well destiel is so tired why vote it. girl this is about impact history etc etc. be for real here destiel has had a major impact on tumblr there are few tumblr users who have not heard of destiel. why would you deny that hashtag remember your herstory.

[destieltropecollection]

DESTIEL TROPE COLLECTION 2023 | DAY 8 | Case Fic

I'll Always Come When You Call | @blessyourhondahurley

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1,960 Main Tags/Warnings: Established Castiel/Dean Winchester Summary: Cas takes a quick case with Garth that turns out to be not so quick. Dean comes in with the assist.

Blue Like Grace | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Mature Word Count: 3,226 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Season/Series 08, Fake Marriage, Fluff and Humor, Light Angst, Winged Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Interspecies Romance, Angel Marriage (Supernatural), Repressed Bisexual Dean Winchester Summary: Dean ain’t used to getting to “decorate” things. Decorations are usually shit for other people with normal lives. He’d see it on tv when he was younger, in shows people would put up streamers for their kids’ birthdays or whatever. And also in bars during holidays, those tacky shiny things hung on walls and from ceilings. But Dean’s never done it himself. Which means that Cas, right now, is driving him fucking insane.

Just Say It | @curlynerd

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7,494 Main Tags/Warnings: Post-Canon Fix-It, Case Fic, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings, Ghosts, Day At The Beach, Love Confessions, First Kiss, Finale doesn't exist, (weakened)Angel!Cas Summary: A string of violent deaths at an otherwise charming B&B was all the excuse Dean needed to drag Cas down to Florida for some fun in the sun. Things had been awkward since Cas came back from the Empty and they could finally be together, but Dean was sure that a romantic getaway was the perfect thing to help Cas get out of the training wheels stage of Angel's-First-Romance and start acting like a real couple. Just as soon as they took care of a vengeful spirit. What could possibly go wrong?

Jupiter's Rings | @notastupidbird

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 7,527 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Different First Meeting, Fallen Angel Castiel (Supernatural), Solo Hunter Dean Winchester, Hunters For Hire, Monsters are Known, Case Fic, Meet-Weird, POV Dean Winchester Summary: “No, this is perfect! I was just about to put up a notice today.” Dean stops packing up his stuff and rests an elbow on the table. “Yeah? What for?” The man gives a quick look around the diner and then leans in close. “I got an alien in my barn.” - + - In a world where supernatural encounters are a normal part of everyday life, Dean works alone as a hunter-for-hire. After wrapping up a case in rural Missouri, Dean is just about to hit the road again when a man stops him and asks for help dealing with something Dean's never heard of before — an alien. Never one to turn somebody away, Dean takes the case and finds out that he's in way over his head when he discovers just what this "alien" really is — a fallen angel.

This Angel Is Naturally And Artificially Flavored | @aaronthe8thdemon

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7,687 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst and Humor, Explicit Sexual Content, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Undercover as a Couple, Case Fic, Canon Compliant, Autistic Castiel (Supernatural), Implied/Referenced Underage Prostitution, Surprise Ending Summary: “I don’t understand,” Castiel interrupts. “If you don’t require my assistance, then why did she pray for me?” “Dean, if you go there yourself, nothing’s gonna get done,” Charlie says, clearly resuming some type of argument that was taking place before he arrived. “You can just go with me!” is Dean’s response. “It’s a gay club, you’re gay, it’ll totally work!” “Yeah, if what you’re going for is the world’s least convincing lavender marriage!”

Forest Fever | @amaranthhiding

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 8,586 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Universe, Post-Ep 12x10, Monster of the Week, Forests, Monster Hunt, Mystery (a little), Hallucinations, Angst with Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Humor, First Kiss, Emotional Sex, Angel Grace, Dean POV, Sam POV, Dean/Cas Stab Fest 2022 Summary: After the crushing events of episode 12x10 "Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets", Castiel is low on grace and morale. In an attempt to restore at least one of these two, Sam and Dean take him on a hunt. Things start going wrong when Sam gets injured and Cas seemingly disappears. They get worse when Dean turns from hunter to prey for something feeling far more at home in this dark, rainy forest than he does.

Full Fathom Five Thy Father Lies | @ariasune

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 13,575 Main Tags/Warnings: Castiel's True Form, Deep Sea Horror, First Kiss, Season 8 Summary: "Look, Charlie thinks the Men of Letters have something that can help you actually, you know, find this monster.” “Good,” Dean licks at his thumb to get the last of the chicken salt clean. “Cause right now it seems like we’ve got a monster that’s some 20, 000 leagues under the sea…” He stops. “This isn’t some 20, 000 leagues shit is it?” “It’s a submarine, actually.” Fuck, that sounds like a yes.

A Midsummer Night's Dean | @payphoneangel

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 16,949 Main Tags/Warnings: Casefic, friends to lovers, love spells, love confessions, getting together, canon-typical violence, POV Dean Winchester, Summary: When an uncanny string of deaths lead TFW to California, they're pointed in the direction of a kitschy hotel with a reputation for being haunted. Will they discover what’s causing the love-sickness, or will their stay end in (deadly) heartbreak?

Stranded | @malicmalic

Rating: Mature Word Count: 27,980 Main Tags/Warnings: Deserted island, Case fic, Idiots in Love, Fluff and Angst, Crack, Funny situations, Competitions Summary: Prompt: Cas and Dean are hunting and they touch a portkey/ artifact that transports them somewhere warm and sunny/ place full of couples. Artefact also temporarily stops Cas from flying back so they have to muddle through an activity. Snorkeling, abseiling, anything out of the boys comfort zone. Or how Dean and Cas manage to get themselves into some funny and interesting situations while stranded on a deserted island that isn't really deserted at all.

Under My Skin | @whichstiel

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 39,596 Main Tags/Warnings: Curses, Fae and Faeries, Fungus, Sex magic, Body horror Summary: Dean and Castiel head to a remote town in the Ozarks to investigate a series of mysterious deaths. In each case, the victim mutilates their own skin, gruesomely clawing at it until death stops their hands. They scramble for answers, trying to solve the case before more victims succumb. In this small town, the only motel room available means that they will be sharing a bed. They've never been more aware of each other, or the potential that lies between them. When they learn that an ancient sex magic ritual is the best way to stop the deaths? Well, somebody has to take one for the team.

Heart Shaped Box | @mittensmorgul

Rating: Mature Word Count: 43,504 Main Tags/Warnings: s15 fix it fic (human Cas, everyone lives), curses, references to past canon/trauma Summary: The bunker is full of dusty old artifacts. Only now that Chuck is out of the picture once and for all, and Cas is fully restored from the empty and in his first days of adjusting to humanity in Dean’s debatable care, does Sam really have a chance to start sorting through it all. The ornate little box he finds feels like the perfect gift for Eileen, but he both wants Cas to feel included and needed, and really wants a strong second opinion on anything in the bunker being safe to give anyone as a gift. Cas declares it a perfectly normal box, until Dean reaches out to give it his own inspection, triggering a spell that will pull them through their own history and open a door to allow them the time and space to settle all the open questions between them. Meanwhile back in the bunker, once the explosion of light resolves, Sam is left with a slightly radioactive looking box and the sinking terror that Dean and Cas had been cursed all because of him. A little trip down memory lane, Supernatural style, ensues.

Lonely Is The Night | @trenchcoatparadigm

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 50,420 Main Tags/Warnings: Prostitution, During Canon, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Monster of the Week, Season/Series 09, First Kiss, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Eventual Smut Summary: “Listen, buddy. You can’t stay.” Five little words that had sent Castiel’s whole world crumbling down around him. What would he do? Where would he go? How would he survive now that he was human? That had been nearly 2 years ago. He did what he needed to get by. Had a roof over his head, just about. Minimal food in his belly, enough to keep him alive at least. And money in his pocket. Dirty, filthy money he earned by offering himself up to people that did unspeakable, sinful things to him. Once an angel of the lord, now left to lurking on street corners, hoping someone would give him the time of day just so he could stay alive. Whispers of disappearances had been rife through 5th street. But when familiar faces start vanishing, Castiel isn’t sure if people were leaving out of fear or something worse. Just when everything seemed its bleakest there was a tiny glimmer of hope, pinging brightly off chrome alloys and glossy black paintwork. The rumbling beast cruising through his neighbourhood, by his corner. He never thought he’d see that car again. The Winchester brothers brought to the city on a new case. A new case that sat a little too close to home.

[mishasminions]

The Last Time I’ll Write a Long Post About Supernatural (15x18-15x20)

15 YEARS OF WATCHING THIS SHOW. 11 YEARS OF RUNNING A BLOG ABOUT IT. IT’S BEEN QUITE A RIDE.

[15x20 Speculation + evidence at the bottom]

First off, I just wanna come clean and say, after all these years, I still think they should’ve ended at Season 5.

If you’re going to come at me with “Then why’d you stick around to watch it if you didn’t like it?”, your question is immature, and the answer is simple: I just want to know what happens next (I also love the main characters and their actors too). You can watch a show and still think it’s shit.

Call me a clown, but despite all the disappointment and trust issues that this show has given me, I would still look forward to the day where it might just turn itself around and bring back the quality it once had, or realize the potential of each story it was trying to tell, or at the very least, do justice by my favorite ship.

Never happened.

They’ve had a few good episodes here and there. I can’t imagine the SPN Universe without The Man Who Would Be King, The French Mistake, and Scoobynatural. Seasons 6-10 were enjoyable at times. I blocked out most of 7 & 11-15. 

If you’ve been following this blog since its heydays in 2010-2014, you’d know I’d try my best to defend Destiel and this show’s decisions regarding it no matter what.

Because you know what, as a CONCEPT, this show is good. If you take a look at all the worlds its storylines have birthed in fanfiction/fanworks, you’d see how much Supernatural has wasted its own story arcs. The writing got shittier as each season progressed, and they’ve obviously given up in production as well because the quality in the execution has noticeably gone down too, but if you take a step back and take a look at the bigger picture, you’ll see that this show still tries to make sense of itself.

[If you’re still following this post, please bear with me, I know this is long, but I just want you to understand how jaded and pessimistic I am with regards to this show, so maybe you can buy into whatever hopeful thing I’m about to say later on.]

SO LET’S TALK ABOUT DESTIEL

Never in my wildest dreams did I think that they would give us Castiel’s “I love you” speech. To the point where, if I weren’t so desperate for it, I would argue that it was completely out of character for him to word vomit the way he did (but I’m not gonna diss on that right now because I’ll take what I can get).

I’ve valued every meaningful and obscure exchange that Dean and Cas have had in the earlier seasons, and I was willing to accept their relationship as just that--undefined, without any clear boundaries as to what they really are. And I think that was beautiful on its own.

But now, they’ve chosen to define it.

After they’ve driven every possible wedge between Dean and Castiel in seasons 11-15, to try to explain away their feelings as something they offer to a collective.

Dean can’t mourn and pray for JUST Cas, he has to mourn and pray for EVERYBODY--even Crowley, even some chick he just met, because god forbid he cries about just the guy who has given up everything for him--that would be “too homo”.

They’ve even set Cas on a path to abrupt fatherhood just so he can care about something other than Dean. Make it seem as if Dean wasn’t his purpose through and through.

And after all these years of this stupid show trying to deny it, they choose to acknowledge it at the worst possible circumstance, at a time where they’ve been so far apart, that it seems so foreign for them to suddenly come together.

But here we are. And they’ve chosen to tell us.

Chosen to tell us that everything that Castiel has done leading up to his death, he has done it because he was IN LOVE WITH DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that the ONE THING THAT WOULD MAKE CAS HAPPY IS DEAN WINCHESTER.

Chosen to tell us that BEING WITH DEAN WINCHESTER is something that CAS WANTS BUT KNOWS HE CAN’T HAVE.

And they’ve also chosen to tell us nothing about how Dean feels.

Sure, finding out your angel made a deal, the stipulations of said deal, his newfound happiness philosophy, his long-winded monologue of why he loves you and why you’re worthy of his love, and to top it all off he tells you that being in love with you is enough to make him happy while he subtly hints that he’s always wanted to be WITH you romantically, was a lot to process in the 5 minutes after you’ve just had an existential crisis.

It’s whatever, right? Let’s culminate 11 years worth of tension and feelings in 5 minutes. Let’s waste the entire episode with cringey expository dialogue, and irrelevant sequences. The whole season was a waste anyway.

You know what Supernatural? FUCK YOU FOR THAT. They deserved better. WE deserve better.

And I would love nothing more than to hurl every possible insult your way,

But for the last time, I’m going to HOPE that you’re finally going to try to make it better for the fans that stuck by you all these years.

No more baiting new viewers, no more placating casual viewers, no more excuses. 15 years. Bring it home for the people who have actually been around.

SO HERE’S HOW I THINK 15x20 IS GONNA GO

There’s two ways this series is gonna end. Horribly or Spectacularly.

First let’s all take into consideration what Andrew Dabb says about it:

So, let’s start with

ENDING HORRIBLY

In this scenario, Misha is telling the truth about his last day of filming being 15x18. His “camping trip” during the last few days of filming 15x20, was actually a camping trip. He doesn’t go to Vancouver to shoot.

Jensen wasn’t “being careful” during the zoom interviews that it was just him and Jared quarantining for the shoot, it really was just him and Jared (althought most of these were done pre 15x19) Supernatural isn’t smart enough to do misleading PR, and they’re once again oblivious to the potential of their own story.

Misha hasn’t posted a “Goodbye Castiel” tweet because he’s probably saving it for last episode or he forgot because it was overshadowed by the Destiel trend that night.

So what we get is:

Sam and Dean are on the road again, up against the monster of the week. Only their world no longer has actual Supernatural beings anymore, so the monsters they’re fighting are humans.

Humans end up killing the Winchesters (despite having gone up against literally every powerful being imaginable INCLUDING God himself). Dean and Sam end up in heaven and relive their greatest hits.

Meanwhile, Castiel rots in The Empty because he died after realizing that he was happy and gay. Jack doesn’t bother rescuing him—his surrogate dad, the guy who made this specific deal to spare him—even though it was so easy for him get Cas in and out of The Empty when he had a fraction of the power that he has now.

Dean never speaks of Castiel’s confession because despite all the hints of a profound bond in the earlier seasons, and the fact that Dean has never cared for anyone (who isn’t his actual brother) as immensely as he does Cas, Supernatural just can’t have its main macho character be “suddenly bisexual” because that would hurt the male ego or some shit.

His heaven would probably be living happily ever after with his family. “Family” meaning Mary and John Winchester--two of the shittiest parents ever (but they’re not going to include them in this episode like they were supposed to because of Covid) and Sam.

Sam also gets a dog. As usual.

I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to do this. After everything they’ve pulled, this would be right up their alley. I actually expect this ending.

Anyway, onto the next possible ending

ENDING SPECTACULARLY

In this scenario, Supernatural tries to stick the landing, and Jensen’s whole “It didn’t sit well with me at first, but then I took a step back after talking to Kripke, and realized that I had to view it from an audience perspective, I am now really excited about it” (DC Con 2019) anecdote about his thoughts on the final episodes, were actually about Dean potentially ending up with Cas. (Which would totally make sense because Jensen at first didn’t see Dean as anything but hetero, but as of late, he has been throwing in Destiel jokes of his own, so he seems to have warmed up to the idea)

Backed with Misha’s tidbit (DLConline 2020) that he and Jensen had conversations about Destiel, and that they wouldn’t have gone through with it if Jensen wasn’t onboard with it, but Jensen didn’t push back at all. (Why would they need to check with Jensen if it was just Cas going all in?)

Robert Berens (writer of 15x18) also wrote the script at the beginning of Season 15, but made Misha privy to the concept a year prior (Season 14), so they went into this season knowing about Destiel going canon.

This one’s a reach, but this scenario also supposes that Misha was lying about his whereabouts during the filming of the final episode, and him saying that 15x18 was his last episode is part of the diversion to avoid taking away from the weight of Castiel’s death.

And that Supernatural is actually self-aware of its own material (similar to how they have wrapped things up in the past—lots of expository dialogue, poor execution, but fulfills the story arc)

Since Season 15 is basically a Meta Season (Chuck/God as a writer, pretentiously calling out how he created the worlds, its characters, and basically invalidating the past 14 seasons), and 15x19 is supposedly the finale for Season 15, written by two of the worst Supernatural writers, Brad Buckner and Eugenie Ross-Leming (Bob Singer’s wife), then we can assume that 15x19 is where the shitty writers kill themselves--as Chuck, of course.

So we get a badly written episode that produces a bad ending, or as Becky put it, “All action, and no Cas”

So we get the bad writers season ending at 15x19.

And 15x20 is where Sam and Dean write their own stories, and where the cast had a hand in pitching ideas for it.

Dabb has mentioned that 15x20 (Act Two) is a SERIES finale, where they try to resolve the characters’ journeys.

Because as everyone has acknowledged, Supernatural isn’t about the story, it’s about the characters.

So here’s what we can get out of it:

With no more Supernatural beings left to fight, Sam and Dean are in a stalemate. They’ve resigned themselves to fighting to the bitter end, but the “end” has passed, and they’re still standing.

So they try to figure out who they are now, and what they want out of the life they still have.

Sam still wants a normal apple pie life. Before Dean dragged him out of college to go hunting with him, he had a whole life planned out for him. Become a lawyer, settle down with a nice girl, and get a dog. He gave all that up because they had work to do, but now the work is finished, he can finally go back to wanting that for himself again.

Dean finally realizes his self-worth after Cas saves him again. His prayer to Cas in purgatory may have helped him come to terms with his anger, but the whole “you’ve done everything you did for love” speech finally put him in his place, and he learns not to hate himself anymore.

But of course, he cannot fully reconcile with himself if he doesn’t get Cas back, and tell him how he feels.

Because Dean actually wants something for himself this time. Something he knows he can finally have if he can just salvage it.

So maybe this time around, with the help of Jack (off-screen), Dean saves Cas. Grips him tight and raises him from perdition.

They bypass The Empty deal by turning Cas human, and he lives the rest of his days with Dean.

Dean and Cas know they deserve to be saved, and they know that they deserve to be happy.

(Wishful thinking, maybe they kiss a little)

Anyway...

I’m just saying, there’s NO WAY that they’d have Cas go through that whole rushed speech, if they weren’t going to do anything about it later on.

But again, after 10 years of disappointment, I wouldn’t put it past Supernatural to pat themselves on the back and say, “Okay, we sort of gave them what they wanted. We’re good now”

If that’s the case, Supernatural, I’m sorry I wasted my time on you.

Here’s to hoping 🤡

[quillquiver]

On SPN, Burying Your Gays, and Being Heard

I am shaking, I feel sick, I feel like I’m insane. And did I run a little wild with the theories? You bet. But you know what didn’t help? The botched clusterfuck that was this entire goddamn finale debacle. How was I supposed to believe anything they said in panels when M&G dialogue would leak saying the exact opposite? How was I supposed to grieve and move on when there was nothing from the cast and crew? Nobody said anything! And any info leaked just destabilized what we already knew or directly contradicted what we’d been told. In light of that, how was I supposed to trust anything anyone said? One rogue translator reciprocated the love confession and I was practically sold, because there were so many questions surrounding the English text that this was something good, something that logically fit, and something I wanted to hold onto. 

Because they hurt me. This is about so much more than one episode or a ship; for years queer fans have seen ourselves in these characters and been told that we were crazy. That we were reading too much into it. I’m not sure how people get upset and offended when a storyline that doesn’t exist... doesn’t exist! said Guy Bee (2013). And then, after all of that, they turned around and said magnanimously, you have your version, I have mine... and that’s okay. But it’s not okay. It’s not okay, because that doesn’t erase what came before - that doesn’t erase the baiting and the gaslighting, and that invalidates everything we felt in the time leading up to that episode. It gave them an open window for all the subtext that came after. It allowed them to brush us off.

And then we got Cas’s love confession. I watched that scene about 500 times. Added to the rest of the season - to the fandom avatar being presented as successful and intelligent, to arc being the death of the author - I felt seen. Really seen, by a show that made it its mission to erase me. I had been okay with Cas dying at first because I had been sure the romance arc would carry through. I had been convinced that after everything, there was no way they would give that to us and then take it away.

But they did, because this is Supernatural. To anyone saying this is not bury your gays, I implore you to read up on the Hays Code. This link is to an amazing queer history podcast and the episode that covers it. In short, the Hays Code was a legal document that came about in 20th Century Hollywood during the puritanical war on the American entertainment industry,  and it stipulated what was not allowed on screen. Not all of it was queer - there’s a whole section about kissing - but what the Code is most remembered for is that queerness was not allowed on screen. But queer people are resilient, and so they started testing the waters... and it turned out that you could in fact code queerness into a narrative, as long as it was subtextual, or as long as the queer character died/was punished, or both. The point is that the character is not allowed to live their truth openly. They are buried, either in the ground or punished in the narrative. The former is normally what we refer to these days, because the latter just doesn’t really happen anymore.

Until Supernatural. 

Castiel is immediately punished for speaking his truth - and please don’t tell me he leveraged that punishment and so he had agency. Literally the only thing that could make him happy was confessing his feelings, and so the Empty deal was directly related to this idea of queerness-as-punishment. That being said, Bobo wrote a beautiful scene. Cas’s confession was a love letter to queerness and coming out... but everything that came after buried him. Castiel may have ended the series alive but he was effectively written out of the last two episodes, and that means that he actually never really got to live his truth. He was silenced by the narrative - that is punishment. 

Dean is a whole other can of worms. Does one rogue translator confirm canon bi!Dean? Or do we have to read our own version of the text? The fact that we even have to ask these questions firmly places us in the realm of queerbaiting. Were the writers trying to get bi!Dean approved but were unable to? I have no idea, but queerbaiting requires proof that the writers encouraged a reading they had no intent of following through on, and we certainly don’t lack in evidence of that. Not from this writers room, but from those of previous eras. Did these writers try? They might have, but the funny thing about queerbaiting discourse is that there has never been a show to bait this long, and I’m making the call that even if you tried at the end, you baited me with half the ship and all the years that came before. 

Of course, the narrative leaves open the possibility of bi!Dean so if you do read the show that way, that means Dean also falls into the bury your gays category; if you read the show this way - which many of us do - the mere suggestion that Dean Winchester was bisexual was enough to punish him. And he was punished. We’ve all written extensively on this, but he was given a random death, on a case his father never finished. All that growth, all that time spent having him accept himself, love himself, that was all taken away. He died the way he always thought he would: as a tool, in service of his father, protecting his brother. He had always believed he’d been a body to throw on the sword and in the end that’s all he was. And when he gets to Heaven? He’s also silenced. He barely speaks in the episode except to monologue during his death, and that is 100% Sam-centric. He is scared. 

It was horrific to watch. I sobbed so hard my roommate was seriously concerned. 

I had been fully prepared for Supernatural to end disappointingly. I had figured everything would end with a huge heaven reunion because white, straight, cis-male S&F writers love the idea of death as a reward, but instead of being disappointed I felt like I had witnessed a slaughter. Every single one of the queer themes intrinsic to the show: found family, resilience, speaking your truth... were gone. And I know we’ve talked about this too, but it bears repeating, because in doing this, in writing the queerness out of its narrative, Supernatural effectively looked every one of us queer folx in the eye and said: you are not important. You don’t matter. All of that stuff that came before is all good and well, but what really matters at the end of all things is blood family. It’s two brothers in a car. Life sucks but at least we get to die and go to paradise - real paradise, that your angel buddy died for and then made for you and who we never hear from again.

I felt insane. I felt cheated. I felt humiliated. I felt devastated. I still feel all those things, but listen to me. You have been heard. Not by Misha Collins, who is a great guy, but doesn’t get it. Not by Jensen Ackles, who is a similarly great guy, but also just doesn’t understand. And not by anyone else who worked on this show. 

You know who heard you? Me. The people who follow me. The people who follow you. We saw each other, and heard each other, and we gave each other a leg up. We made memes. We wrote fic. We drew fanart. We made gifs. All for ourselves and all for each other. We broke Tumblr multiple times. We donated over $60,000 USD to multiple different causes. We got multiple hashtags trending at multiple different points, and today kept it up because we demanded answers and then we got them. There were at least 5 articles written about the show today. We made that happen. We made people listen. 

Supernatural didn’t deserve me, and it didn’t deserve you. It didn’t deserve Dean. It didn’t deserve Cas. It didn’t deserve Misha and Jensen. But this show ended with a bleak, awful message and we turned around and showed them that love is loud. So what about all of this is real?

We are.

[gates-keeper]

Part 1: “Words of Affirmation” Destiel Quotes & Parallels

I’m sure someone’s done this before me and done it better, but I’m compiling a huge Destiel evidence docket for no reason. Anyone got any quotes to add?

Comments From Outside Characters

To Dean

Uriel: “He has this weakness. He likes you.” (4x10)

Balthazar: “You have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who’s in love with you.” (6x17)

Hester: “The first time Castiel laid a hand on you in Hell, he was lost.” (7x21)

Meg: “He was your boyfriend first.” (7x23)

Charlie: “What about Castiel? He seems helpful. And dreamy.” (8x20)

Marie: “Although we do explore the nature of Destiel in Act 2.” (10x5)

Sam: “Shouldn’t it be Deastiel?” He then goes on to tease Dean with “Sastiel” which Dean takes negatively. (10x5)

Dean: “This Cas is looking at me weird.” Sam: “So like the real Cas then.” (15x14) 

To Castiel

Hannah: “We gave you our trust. Don’t lose it over one man.” (9x22)

Metatron: “His true weakness is revealed. He’s in love…with humanity.” (9x22)

Metatron: “Oh, that’s right. To save Dean Winchester. That was your goal, right? I mean, you draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but, ultimately, it was about saving one human, right?” (9x23)

Ishim: “I’m going to cure you of your human weakness [i.e. Dean]” (12x10)

The Empty: “I have tiptoed through all your little tulips. Your memories, your little feelings, yes. I know what you hate. I know who you love…There is nothing for you back there.” (13x4)

Demon: “I thought you were joined at the… (looks down) everything.” (14x01)

There are also several instances where other characters try to poke at insecurities regarding their relationship.

Naomi: “You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty. I only wish he felt the same way.” (8x19)

Casifer: “There comes a time when every relationship has run its course.” (11x18)

Michael!Dean: “You only tolerate the angel because you think you owe him, because he ‘gripped you tight and raised you from Perdition.’ Or whatever.” (14x10)

Comments From Dean

To Cas

“There are two things I know for certain. One, Bert and Ernie are gay. And two, you are not going to die a virgin.” (5x03) 

“So what? I’m Thelma and you’re Louise and we’re just going to hold hands and sail off this cliff together?” (5x03)

“You know what? Blow me, Cas.” (5x18)

“Cas, not for nothing, but the last time someone looked at me like that, I got laid.” (5x18)

“Look, I don’t need to feel like hell for failing you, okay? For failing you like I’ve failed every other godforsaken thing that I care about! I don’t need it!” (8x07)

“We need you. I need you.” 

For more on this quote see the “We vs. I” section.

To Other Characters

Bobby: “I think maybe it’s time you made a call.” Dean: “Why does it always gotta be me that makes the call, huh? It’s not like Cas lives in my ass. The dude’s busy.” (Cas appears) Dean: “Get out of my ass.” Cas: “I was never in your… (head tilt)” (6x19)

“On my car…. He showed up naked… covered in bees.” (7x23)

While Cas suffered from some mental issues at the time, it seems somewhat significant that he sought Dean out under the circumstances, not Sam, etc.

“There’s things… people… feelings that I want to experience differently than I have before, or maybe even for the first time.” (10x16)

“My shy but devastatingly handsome friend here” (12x12)

“He came into my room and he played me.” (12x19)

“Let’s see. Crowley’s dead, Kelly’s dead, Cas is—Mom’s gone.” (13x01)

Dean’s inability to list Cas’s death singles him out as the most devastating of the losses.

“We’ve lost everything. And now you’re gonna bring him back.” (13x01)

While some people have heard this as “bring ‘em back”, the Netflix captions and transcripts I have been able to find say “him.”

“And Cas bought it. And you know what it got him? It got him dead! Now you may be able to forget about that, but I can't!” (13x03)

“I have a family.” (In response to John Winchester lamenting Dean doesn’t have a wife and kids) (14x13)

Comments From Cas

To Dean

“I was getting too close to the humans in my charge. You. They feel I've begun to express emotions. The doorways to doubt.” (4x16)

“I’m hunted. I rebelled. And I did it—all of it—for you.” (5x02)

“I gave everything for you. And this is what you give to me.” (5x18)

“I do everything that you ask. I always come when you call.” (6x21)

“So you will bow down and profess your love unto me, your Lord.” (6x22)

Before taking on the role of God, Cas seemed very concerned with Dean’s forgiveness/acceptance/love. It is interesting that, as God, that was the first thing he asked for, turning from Sam (who had just stabbed him) to Dean to ask for love.

“Sam, and everyone you know, everyone you love, they could be long dead. Everyone except me.” (10x22)

“I love you. I love all of you.” (Arguably to the group, but the first “I love you” can be seen as Dean-specific, especially since it cuts to Dean after being said.) (12x12)

“You mean too much to me. To everything.” (12x9) (To Mary, Sam, and Dean. However, the camera immediately cuts to Dean specifically, even though he is in the back of the group).

“I’m your Huckleberry.” (13x06)

Cas love confession (15x18)

To Other Characters

“Dean and I do share a more profound bond.” (6x03)

“I won’t hurt Dean.” (8x17)

This is said as Castiel is breaking away from Naomi’s mind control—mind control she fostered specifically by having Cas kill a thousand versions of Dean. This implies she knows that Cas’s strongest loyalty is to Dean, not Sam, or humans in general.

“The point is that they [Dean & Sam] were here at all and you got to know them, you -- When they're gone, it will hurt, but that hurt will remind you of how much you loved them.” (14x14)

“You know, Dean, he... he feels things more acutely than any human I've ever known.” (15x13)

Other Comments

Reaper: “How do I start looking for this... Castiel?” Bartholomew: “I got one word for you. Winchester.”

Rowena: “An Angel of the Lord, shattered at the altar of Winchester.”

Use of We vs. I

In the crypt scene in Season 8, Dean tells Cas, “We need you.” This is not enough to stop Cas’s actions. When the language switches to “I need you,” Cas drops the angel blade.

We can clearly see that Dean tries to put up barriers about how he really feels about Cas in his use of “We.” For example, after showing the audience many scenes of Dean, not Sam, frantically trying to call Cas, we get the following lines:

“So not only were you ditching us, but you were also ignoring us?”

“With everything that's going on, you can't just go dark like that. We didn't know what happened to you. We were worried. That's not okay.”

It’s clear that these “we’s” are really “I’s”

In the alternate future presented in 15x9, Sam asks Dean, “What’s happened to you Dean… ever since…?” to which Dean responds, “Ever since what? We lost pretty much everyone we’ve ever cared about? Ever since the Mark made Cas go crazy and I had to bury him in a Malak box… ever since then?” While he acknowledges Sam’s losses as well, his switch to “I” in reference to Cas implies that Cas’s loss belongs especially to him.

(Mostly) Verbal Parallels to Other Couples

In 1x01 (start at 2:27), Dean pulls Sam away from a dead Jess in a direct parallel to how Sam pulls Dean away from Cas in 12x23

Following Jessica’s death, Sam keeps seeing glimpses of her as he and Dean travel around in the Impala. Dean does the same in Season 8 following his return from Purgatory without Cas.

David from “Bloodlines” (9x20) tells his love interest, “I was there. Where were you?” which is the same thing Dean says to Cas in “The Man Who Would Be King” (6x20)

When asking Dean whether he’s in love with Cassie, Dean gives a similar response to what he will say in 10x5 when asked about Destiel.

Destiel is paralleled with their counterparts from the Supernatural play who are “a couple in real life” (10x5)

Cain compares himself to Dean in Season 10. He describes the significant kills of his life (The Knights of Hell, his wife Collette, and his brother Abel) and tells Dean that he will follow his same pattern by killing the King of Hell Crowley, Castiel, then Sam. It is also mentioned that all Collette asked of Cain was “to stop,” which is the same language Cas uses with Dean in 10x22.

Dean explains how his parents fell in love to prove his identity to Mary in 12x1, “He was cute and he knew the words to every Zeppelin song, so when he asked you for your number, you gave it to him, even though you knew your dad would be pissed.” Later in this same season (12x19), Dean gives Cas a homemade mixtape of his favorite Zeppelin songs.

Ishim fell in love with a human named Lily Sunder who ultimately left him for someone else. When trying to recruit Castiel, he compares Dean to her.

Dean questions how much of their life has been controlled by God. Cas states, “You asked, ‘What about all of this is real?’ We are.” (15x02) Later, they find out that God has been using Eileen to spy on the Winchesters. She says, “After what happened, I don’t know what’s real anymore.” Sam kisses her, stating “I know that was real.” (15x09)

PART 2 “Physical Touch” Now Finished

[remythologise]

You are the only person on my dash who is earnestly, truly enjoying the implications of a canon Destiel in its like...purest and best possible form. The way it COULD be. And honestly. Mad respect. I'm so happy for you.

It’s because I was actually watching the show (again, after many years)!!!! I am invested in these characters and this relationship and I totally get how seeing this happen out of nowhere with a three minute clip with - let’s be real - bad editing, cinematography and production values - makes people absolutely crazy with laughter. I get how people didn’t think about this show and then saw this out of nowhere and it seems like the dumbest most random thing ever. I get why it’s awful to think Cas has been killed off straight after confessing his love, I get all of the memes and find the ones that aren’t outright derisive very funny. But the thing is that for people watching this show who have been invested for years and aren’t ashamed of liking Supernatural because it’s ‘cringe’ (an arbitrary decision! I promise if you rewatch the show you’ll be swept along by your old emotions!) - this was a lot. It meant a lot. It would have taken a HELL of a lot to get even this much pushed through on notoriously conservative-leaning show Supernatural. And we still don’t know where the final pieces will fall because there are two episodes left, and EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON EARTH is dead in the next episode except for Sam, Dean and Jack. So thinking that Castiel’s death is narratively permanent is not necessarily true, particularly because there is a character we know is coming back who is also currently in the Empty and we think the Empty will be defeated before the end of the show. People don’t have these context cues for the plot, or production, or the emotional context of what it meant after YEARS AND YEARS and a damn long COVID hiatus - to see this go canon against absolutely every expectation.  And the other thing, I see most of the shots taken at Dean/Jensen’s reaction - we don’t know IF he reciprocates, because the whole arc of the series and the episode is about Dean being angry, Dean having nothing left (he believes) but anger, and the WHOLE POINT of this was to start to change how he perceives himself and find love instead of anger. Cas telling him he’s a lover, not a fighter, to wit. Having Dean react literally any other way to Cas suddenly confessing than how he did would be out of character because he IS repressed as hell, and doesn’t do well talking through something like this when he has seconds to process it. (And there have been hints Dean does feel romantically for Cas and is bi over the years. Let’s not forget among other things, Dean gave Cas a mixtape of the same songs that was key to his parents’ romance.) And yeah, maybe there’s no bisexual Dean revelations, and there’s no more Castiel. Maybe they could brush this off and Dean could never mention it and Cas could go full Bury Your Gays. I am fully aware of that possibility, trust me - we all know that Misha has been notably absent from 19/20 filming pics. But considering Robert Berens, a gay man, wrote this ep, and is fully aware of the trope... Considering they went THIS FAR to make a main character confess their love to another character at the end of the series... I’m not sure. Frankly I think both Dean and Cas will be dead by the end of the show and together in some form of an afterlife, but we’ll see. I mean, they hid this absolute bombshell from us... maybe they hid more surprises too.  Even if SPN goes the way everyone on the internet seems to think it goes though, I’m so happy that they made Cas canonically queer, in love with Dean, and retroactively wrote a love story into Supernatural. It means a lot, and no amount of people laughing at the memes about this can take away what it means to know Cas fell in love with Dean in season 4 (!!!!) and every SINGLE interaction can now canonically be seen in that way.  I guess at the end of the day, it felt pretty damn good for years of subtext to be brought into text and to not be a ‘delusional shipper’ anymore. Supernatural has been famously bad to its queer fans over the years, so this... this is far more than I ever expected. And yeah, I want Cas to come back, and for Dean to reciprocate. But I will celebrate this victory too.

[ambiguousdisorderken]

in your expert opinion what are some of the most destiel-heavy episodes of spn? i stopped watching around season 7 and have no interest in engaging w the plot of the show at all but i’m in the mood for some gay yearning ykwim

Hi anon! Thank you for reaching out to me about this, I’m, no-joke, very flattered. I’d seen a couple posts on this same question, very thorough and detailed lists on Destiel-centric episodes, but at the moment I cannot find any of them, that would’ve answered your request much faster. So, in advance, sorry, my reply is probably coming in extremely late, but I did write this from scratch, so yeah.

Even though storylines in SPN can be very shitty and hollow, I do feel that to get the full Destiel experience -that long-drawn yearning- one would have to watch the entirety of the show, even if Cas isn’t in the episode or if there’s no explicit mention of their relationship/bond because it gives you a better understanding of them as characters and of how their relationship affects the narrative.

Now, you mentioned you stopped around S7, which is completely understandable and justified given the Dick plot game was very weak and, in my opinion, annoying (so little Cas!). I’m going to start listing from S7 in case you want to refresh your SPN before jumping straight into unseen episodes. Also, since you mentioned no interest in the plot and are specifically craving those sweet crumbs of gay yearning, I’ll skip most one-sided / too subtle episodes and cut to the chase.

Lastly, I hate spoiling things, but you’ve probably seen it all on Tumblr. I tried to keep the episodes’ descriptions short, as it might come in useful. Stuck to key words, quotes and/or little comments.

 Season 7

7x01 – Meet the New Boss: Godstiel, sincere apology. Cas: “I'm gonna find some way to redeem myself to you.”

7x02 – Hello, Cruel World: Mourning. Trench coat melancholy. The heart-wrenching eulogy: “Dumb son of a bitch.”

7x17 – The Born-Again Identity: Emmanuel!Cas, reunion, longing, hurt.

7x21 – Reading is Fundamental: Honey!Cas, hug, hurt, reunion, that painful SORRY (board game) scene.

7x23 – Survival of the Fittest: Honey!Cas, forgiveness, adorable, wified Cas. Dean hits us with: “Nobody cares that you're broken, Cas!" but also “I'd rather have you, cursed or not.”

Season 8 (this season is so good and Destiel is the driving motor of it, I swear. If you can, watch it complete.)

8x01 – We Need to Talk About Kevin: Dean in Purgatory looking for the angel.  Cas is referred to as “your [Dean’s] angel.”

8x02 – What’s Up, Tiger Mommy?: HUG!!!, Purgatory reunion, face touch, very romantic. Monster: “ You'll find your angel there.” //  Dean: “Let me bottom-line it for you. I'm not leaving here without you.”

8x05 – Blood Brother: Cas vs. Benny cat fight lol. Dean: “Cas... we're gonna shove your ass back through the eye of that needle if it kills all three of us.”

8x07 – A Little Slice of Kevin: Cas comes back from Purgatory, but before that Dean starts seeing him in places. Very tragic; hallucinating your dead significant other trope. Has That boner scene. Dean: “I did everything I could to get you out! EVERYTHING!” Cas helps Dean see what truly happened in Purgatory and not his self-altered memories. PACKED!

8x08 – Hunteri Heroici: Hilarious, romantic, intimate. Dean and Cas have an heart to heart. They actually communicate. Cas “I’ll watch over you.”

8x10 Torn and Frayed: They work a case together, and when I say heart eyes…

8x17 – Goodbye Stranger: THIS. EPISODE. Dean “I need you.”

8x19 – Taxi Driver: Separation. Naomi to Dean: "You're hoping Castiel will return to you. I admire your loyalty; I only wish he felt the same way."

8x22 – Clip Show: Lack of trust, hurt, tense interactions. Romantic too (basically, Cas gets Dean an apology basket).

8x23 – Sacrifice: Meaningful conversation and a gay couple hit by Cupid parallel. Dean “So this is it? E.T goes home?"

 Season 9

9x01 – I think I’m Gonna Like it Here: Dean prays to Cas IN.A.CHAPEL. Worry, longing, separation. Dean “Please, man, I need you here.”

9x03 – I’m No Angel: Human!Cas and jealous!Dean.

9x06 – Heaven Can’t Wait: Human!Cas TEXT-BOOK LONGING. GAY AS FUCK. Gazing, touching, they even TALK (for real).

9x09 – Holy Terror: Adorable Cas, flirty vibes, happyish, funny. Cas: “Cas is back in town!”

9x10 – Road Trip: Cas comforts Dean, Cas and Crowley bitching at each other, overall protective!Cas.

9x18 – Metafiction. Cas finds out about the Mark of Cain.

9x21 – King of the Damned: Hug, strong boyfriends vibes.

9x22 – Stairway to Heaven: Cas gives up an entire army, for Dean. Metatron about Cas “He's in love………………………. with humanity.”

9x23  – Do You Believe in Miracles?: At this point, it’s canon stated that Cas will do anything and lose everything if that means saving Dean. Metatron to Cas “You draped yourself in the flag of heaven, but ultimately, it was all about saving one human, right?”

 Season 10

10x01 – Black: Demon!Dean and sick/brokenhearted Cas in a slutty robe missing his man.

10x03 – Soul Survivor: ICONIC. Angel on Demon action! Cas turns down Hannah because he’s too gay and in love. Intimate Deancas talk.

10x05 – Fan Fiction: No Cas, but Destiel references. 

10x09 – The Things We Left Behind: That.Lunch.Date. Deancas introduction to co-parenting.

10x14 – The Executioner’s Song: We get Daddy Murder aka Cain. This is a Pivotal episode to understand Dean’s character development. Plus, it has Deancas interactions.

10x16 – Paint It Black: No Cas, but Dean opens up in confessionary; repressed BISEXUAL AS FUCK.

10x18 – Book of the Damned: Charlie meets Cas. Gay energies everywhere. Cute domestic little scene.

10x20 – Angel Heart: PARENTING! Essential to understand Cas from this point forward.

10x22 – The Prisoner: Just… just watch it. One of THEE Destiel episodes.

10x23 – Brother’s Keeper: No Deancas interactions but it’s the finale, and I recommend watching it because next season takes off literally right from here. No time jumps.

 Season 11

11x02 – Form and Void: Could skip to the very end which is when Cas comes back.

11x03 – The Bad Seed: Cursed!Cas. Dean takes care of him, even wraps him in a blanket. He also cradles his face. Extreme Hurt/Comfort. Jacting joices rejoice.

11x10 – The Devil in the Details: Could skip but has Casifer in it. Interesting to see his dynamic with Dean.

11x18 – Hell’s Angel: Casifer. Dean "It? It's not an it, Sam, it's Cas!"

11x23 – Alpha and Omega: Huggg! Cas willing to go on a guaranteed suicide mission with Dean. Very tender and sad.

 Season 12

12x02 – Keep Calm and Carry On: ANOTHER HUG! Dean presents his boyfriend to his mom<3 Soft and romantic.

12x09 – First Blood: Reunion hug<3, Cas pining… as in he counts his every minute without Dean.

12x10 – Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets: Direct parallel with canon couple. Crystal-clear mutual affection. One of the best. Angel Ishim to Cas about Dean “I'm gonna help you. I'm gonna cure you of your human weakness same way I cured my own… by cutting it out.”

12x12 – Stuck in the Middle with You: A dying Cas confesses his love. “I love you. I love all of you.”

12x19 – The Future: We find out Dean gave Cas a MIXTAPE!!! Very romantic and full of yearning, also worry and what could be seen as a betrayal (ish…).

12x23 – All Along the Watch Tower: Hands down, one of the most distressing Destiel episodes. Cas dies.

 Season 13

13x01 – Lost and Found: This is the worst because you have Dean trying to assimilate Cas’ death. Core of Dean’s widow’s arc. Jack introduction, that’s their new kid.

13x02 – The Rising Son: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?).

13x03 – Patience: Widow’s arc (you could skip it, but why would you?). Dean to Sam “He manipulated him, he made him promises, said, ‘paradise on earth’ and Cas bought it and you know what that got him? It got him dead! Now you might be able to forget about that, but I can’t!”

13x04 – The Big Empty: Continuation of widow’s arc and Cas wakes up in the Empty. The Empty to Cas: "I know who you love. There's nothing for you back there." // Dean to Sam “I need you to keep the faith, for both of us. ‘Cause right now, I… Right now, I don’t believe in a damn thing.”

13x05 – Advanced Thanatology: Suicidal and hopeless Dean gets his win. Cas comes back. Gives me the chills.

13x06 – Tombstone: COWBOY BOYFRIENDS!

13x14 – Good Intentions: Happy and fun Destiel scene. So Very Married.

13x23 – Let The Good Times Roll: Season finale, Dean talks about retiring (plans include Cas of course) and just very nice to see them interact.

Season 14

14x03 – The Scar: Reunion.

14x08 – Byzantium: Deanand Cas dealing with their child’s death, then bringing him back by Cas making a deal with the Empty. IMPORTANT EPISODE.

14x09 – The Spear: Cas uses the royal We – married behavior.

14x10 – Nihilism: Dean is stuck in his own mind, and Cas and Sam try to bring him back. Cas “Please, you have to -- you have to try to remember, because the people in your life -- in your real life, out there -- we need you to come back.”

14x12 – Prophet and Loss: Dean gets his very own Dr. Sexy, aka Dr. Cas.

14x14 – Ouroboros: Basically another date (their kid tags along) and They TALK. Very intimate and established marriage vibes.

14x18 – Absence: Shits starts to go south. [ Dean: “Who cares what Jack said? We don't know what happened! But I swear, if he did something to her, if she is -- (points to Castiel) Then you're dead to me. (Castiel looks crushed after Dean says that).]

14x20 – Moriah: Tense and very upsetting. Relationship very damaged.

 Season 15 (I would advise watching the entire season because it relies heavily on Destiel. They’re the heart and the emotional motor leading the plot onwards.)

15x01 – Back and To The Future: Deancas’ in the aftermath of their kid’s death. Tension gets worse.

15x02 – Raising Hell: Tension rises, this is very intense. Cas “Dean. You asked, "What about all of this is real?" We are.”

15x03 – The Rupture: Breaking point ends in divorce.

15x06 – Golden Time: Painful phone call which speaks volumes about the current state of their relationship at the time. Also, good to see where they’re standing and how they’re coping.

15x08 – Our Father Who Aren’t in Heaven: Strained relationship so obvious they’re offered couples’ therapy.

15x09 – The Trap: MASTERPIECE. Back to Purgatory. Can (and is) taken as Dean’s love confession (because it is). 

15x12 – Galaxy Brain: So married. Little domestic date, you can see LOVE written in their faces.

15x13 – Destiny’s Child: AU!Dean and Sam. Not a yearning episode per se, but AU!Dean? SO GAY.

15x17 – Unity: God reveals that the only act of free will in any universe he ever created has been Cas choosing Dean.

15x18 – Despair: Cas confesses his love to Dean.

[fanfic-corner]

Tumblrversary - 21st June 2021

It's official: I've been on this cursed site as this blog for a full year now. I'm not sure what exactly I've gained from the experience, other than more new friends than I can count and whatever the fuck November 5th had going on. Anyway, this is every single thing (of note) I've posted this year for you to peruse at your leisure, but mostly so my dumb ass can find it later :)

Destiel fic recs

My all time favourites

Alternate Universes

Apocalypse/Dystopia AU

Cafe AU

College/Uni AU

Soulmate AU / pt 2

Word Count

Under 2,000 words

Under 10,000 words / pt 2

Episode Specific Fics

15x18 Fics

15x19 Fics

15x20 Fics

Other Ships

Sabriel

Holidays

Halloween

Christmas / pt 2

New Year's

Sexualities

Asexuality and other a-spec identities

Bisexual Dean

Tropes

Bed Sharing

Case Fics

Established Relationship

Major Character Death

Slow Burn

John Winchester is an Asshole

Writer!Castiel

Wattpad

Fluff

Other fic recs

Ineffable Husbands

Natsby

Professor Layton

Cockles

A-Spec Across Fandoms

My writing

After (634 words) - AO3

Dean Winchester was dead.

You Only Live Once (1,238 words) - AO3

“Hello, Dean,” Cas replied, his frown matching Sam’s. “What are you doing up?”

“I’m allowed to leave my bed, guys.” Dean pouted, plopping himself safely out of spaghetti splatter range. “I’m only dying. It’s no biggie.”

Heaven's Honeysuckle (2,591 words) - AO3

Dean is only meant to pick up the flowers for his brother's wedding, but the kind man with the blue eyes who works there keeps dragging him back to the small shop.

'I love you' (420 words) - AO3

"I love you."

Dean just stares at him.

All Alright (1,403 words) - AO3

Two people die every second. It was a fact Dean had learnt many years ago, from some shitty game show on some crappy motel room tv. Two people die every second, and Dean couldn’t help but feel like they were always people he knew.

A State of Normal (457 words) - AO3

Slowly, life returned to a state of normal that Dean hardly recognised.

Forever Intertwined (358 words) - AO3

Castiel was no longer an angel of the Lord. He did not have the power to grip anyone tight and raise them from perdition. In fact, for all intents and purposes, he was human.

That didn’t mean that there wasn’t anything he could do while he waited for his love.

nothing ever really ends, does it? (3,397 words) - AO3

Five different endings to Supernatural, because they deserved better. Each one is self-contained, and they are all varying lengths.

Darling, So It Goes (4,652 words) - AO3 / post

When Dean gets asked to be Santa for Jody and Donna's Christmas party, he does not expect it to end with a litre of chocolate milk over a homophobe's head, but he is all too eager to help out a man in need.

Wrapped in Red (7,265 words) - AO3 / post

New at being human, Castiel doesn't know a lot about Christmas traditions, but when a case involves them infiltrating a couple's only Christmas party, Cas wants the full experience.

Including mistletoe.

5 Birthdays Dean Had Without His Angel, and the One With (1,516 words) - AO3 / podfic / post

Six different January 24ths, and how Dean celebrated.

Who We Are (17,331 words) - AO3 / post

It was supposed to be easy: barge into the Empty, rescue Cas, confess his love, be back in time for dinner.

The man Dean rescued was not the Cas he knew.

Suez, My Beloved <3 (507 words) - AO3 / podfic by mistbornhero / post

There has been too much calm in the world.

Season 16, Time For A Wedding! (12,332 words) - AO3 / post

Dean and Castiel are inviting you to share in their celebration of marriage.

+ Dinner and reception after!

Whoever wasn't expecting chaos had clearly never met the Winchesters.

Gay or European ( ADD LATER ) - AO3 / post

When the British contestant for this year's Eurovision Song Contest is suddenly out of the competition, it's left to four Americans and their Irish friend to take the microphone.

Paige, their manager, has not packed nearly enough painkillers for the chaos this trip will cause.

death may love you more ( ADD LATER) - AO3

On a hunt gone wrong, Dean finds himself possessed by an old enemy of the Winchesters. Bela is out for revenge, and she is hell bent on ruining Dean's life through any means possible.

If that means breaking the angel's heart, then, well...

Tumblr Ficlets

Don't Mention It

23 (for an ask game)

Supernatural: The End

"You love her, don't you?" (Thasmin)

Podfics

Building the Michael Sword: Some Assembly Required (10 minutes)

Castiel gripped Dean tight and raised him from perdition, everybody and their mother knows that. What is less well-known, however, is that he was also responsible for re-assembling the body.

Which he did with all the grace and patience of a man putting together a particularly difficult IKEA bunk bed.

The Tea is Decaf (25 minutes)

Based on this text post from thebloggerbloggerfun: "Listen, imagine Eileen sneaking out of Sam’s room at night to go to the bathroom or something and steps out into the hallway in one of Sam’s shirts only to see Cas trying to quietly leave Dean’s room while wearing one of Dean’s shirts and they both just stare at each other awkwardly for a few seconds before trying to muffle quiet laughter and now they have a late night club where they talk about life and gossip about the Winchesters in sign language"

And this anon I received: "what if Eileen and Cas discover there are some things Sam and Dean both do in bed because Dean jokingly gave Sam pointers when they were younger and Sam took the advice"

[shirtlesssammy]

Anger and Love

I can tell you this. I still hurt over the ending of this show and the reasons roll into each other, like tangled yarn tossed in a bin. (In this metaphor, I am the bin.) 

Castiel

The BURY YOUR GAYS trope. My GOD when will this show learn. (The answer is never. Never, because it’s over.) In 15x18 Cas confesses his love and then dies. Guess who else dies in this episode? Charlie and Stevie! The writers said, “Who will hurt the most to lose? Ah, yes. Charlie in the new and terrified bloom of love.” We can ASSUME that Charlie and Stevie come back, but we don’t get to see it or hear about it. And we get the barest throwaway line that Cas comes back in 15x20, but not seeing him physically return after over a decade on the show feels like a blow that just won’t stop. 

More EMOTIONS below the cut.

On Thursday, I said to Boris that it would have been better if we’d never been tossed that crumb about Cas’s love. Why give us this FEAST and then take it away like Chuck poofing away a dog? Many people have pointed to network cowardice, and that’s certainly a possibility. Some people have put forth the theory that exposing Cas’s love for Dean was simply a season-ending ratings move. Either of those could be true, or some mix of them. Listen, I can spin myself around that stupid knot for days and we’ll probably never get the whole story. Instead, I have to look at the core of what Castiel coming out means for me. And the truth of it is, it means A LOT. It means I love him a whole lot more. Cas is mine, he’s ours, he’s one of us. And I’m angry as hell at how it went down, but I’m still glad we got Cas’s side of the story. I have a pride pin on the lapel of my Cas trench, and it’s never felt more perfect.

So I’m angry, but I’m also incredibly glad. Ugh. Knots.

Boris: We’ll never know what actually went down during the production of this season and the hiatus changes or the show’s narrative arc, but I have to believe that Robert Berens was given some kind of go ahead and planned for a lovely and beautiful ending for Dean and Cas. That his story was taken from him at the end (much like Wayward’s eventual ending), is so unfair. Because Cas’s story wasn’t completed. Dean and Cas’s story will forever float out there for us to ponder. Like Natasha, I will cling to Cas’s confession and see it as a beautiful coming out moment for a character I love very much. I’ll be forever despondent that we didn’t see Dean’s story play out on our televisions.

Dean

I didn’t come out as bi to more than three people until my late 30’s. It was something I was first in denial about, and then it just seemed “not relevant” for a large swath of my life (married for 18 years now). Talking about that with my family and friends surprised me - how relieved I felt. How free. As I was working through this, I was also slipping into Supernatural fandom, and watching a show where Dean COULD BE bi. Reader, I projected myself right onto Dean Bean. Maybe he was like me. Clueless, then in denial, then thinking that part of himself irrelevant. So giving us Cas without Dean, given the scenes we watch on the show, feels like a personal affront. I know I’m projecting here, so I’ll acknowledge those feelings and move on to the next…

I am also PISSED about Dean’s story. All his life he’s been “daddy’s blunt instrument” and ready to die bloody on a hunt. It’s spoken about so often that we think surely - at the end - we’ll subvert that. SURELY he’ll survive. The last couple of seasons, he’s fighting for control - freedom from Michael, freedom from Chuck. He finally achieves that freedom and then loses everything anyway. There are no rewards on Earth. He died solving one last case from John’s journal. Daddy’s little soldier to the end. It’s disgusting to me to take this beautiful, complex character who is textually SO FULL OF LOVE and then take a pass on imagining what he might do with a real life on earth. It’s lazy writing, used for a cheap, fast, emotional reaction. The more I unpack Dean’s fate against the rest of the series, the angrier I get.

Boris: I think so many of us confused and discovering things about ourselves later in life see Dean as a character that matters. His story, had it been told fully, would have mattered. I don’t buy his death or his peaceful afterlife. It’s still too raw to process because he deserves happiness in life!

Billie

“I know Supernatural has a history of killing off characters of color,” I told people, “but Billie’s a main character now!” W O W 15x18 is the kick that keeps on kicking. I did actually enjoy Billie’s arc quite a bit, but losing her still makes me angry, in the broader context of the show.

Women

“Supernatural isn’t great with women,” I said. “But we have Mary now! And Billie!” Please picture me as Olaf when I say. “Mary DIES. Billie DIES. Only sad men remain.” Sure, we get some throwaway lines. We know Donna’s alive in 15x20 because of the call to Dean’s phone. Actually, scratch that, we know someone talked to Donna…because this show didn’t want to address that literally no other hunter knew about or mourned Dean’s death so they had a random stranger call Dean’s “Other other phone” for help. Great. Now I’m mad about Dean again.

We can probably blame some of how the final episode shakes out on COVID. Presumably, the final scene in Heaven would have been a party with Mary, the roadhouse crew, original Charlie, maybe Eileen? Kevin? etc etc. Instead, it’s an empty, lonely end on screen.

Which brings me to Eileen. Sam’s romance was laid out carefully throughout season 15, so what the fuck happened here? We assumed we’d at least get some confirmation that Sam ends up with the woman he brought back from the dead and then dated as recently as a couple episodes ago. Instead, there is literally NOTHING. No attempt is made to say that Eileen’s the one Sam ends up with other than his son having dark hair. There are no family portraits. No sign language to the faceless mother by the house. (Standing in a floral dress, like a good housewife.) Is she dead? Did Sam end up with someone else? Even without dialogue, there are ways to show Eileen’s presence that weren’t used. I’m so angry that she was an element of the season and then…hand waved away as irrelevant. The faceless wife MY GOD, SHOW.

Boris: Yikes, I cynically see the reason to not include Cas in the end because homophobiaTM but to not even give us Eileen and Sam? Clearly, they wanted to erase every person that mattered to the brothers from the end. Ugly.

Heaven

The funny thing is that I’m constantly trying to write a “happy eternity in a now-free Heaven” in my own fan fiction. If anyone should like 15x20 it should be me! I’m always trying to argue that it isn’t major character death, because their souls are infinite and now free, blah blah blah. So ultimately, my problem isn’t with peace in Heaven. It’s with Dean’s EARLY DEATH, and how empty Heaven feels. How desolate and devoid of life. Dean leaves the Roadhouse and drives alone until finally Sam dies and joins him. It reads like the ultimate fuck you to the “family don’t end in blood” storyline. If COVID filming got in the way of filling Heaven with life, then we have all suffered a great loss. It should feel ecstatic and full of community. Instead, it just feels wide and lonely.

Ultimately, boiling the season finale into an intimate portrait of brothers should work on paper. It SHOULD, but the show leaves so much unsaid and unshown about the community and family they’ve built along the way, and tells us to be happy with the scraps we’ve gotten instead. It tells us they were never that important, in the end. 

The Future

I’m still going to watch the show. I’m still going to enjoy the show and the characters. There are reasons I have watched all along, and they don’t have anything to do with needing the show wrapped up in a neat bow. I’m angry with Supernatural’s conclusion, because I love it. And I’m okay with that.

Boris: I love this show so much, and I know I’ll continue to love it. I need time to lick my wounds and forget about this episode. This show is about the characters and the journey and that’ll never end.

[theymadeitlh28]

I am convinced Cas knew about Dean’s feelings for him. He almost confessed twice. The first time Dean said „I need you“ and not in the „hey, man I need you to heal me after hunts“ but in the „I need you in my life bc of you, bc you are my best friend and I don’t want to go on without you“ kinda way. The way he said it the second time almost sounded like „I love you“ bc of the way he pronounced it, bc of the intonation, and that is what snapped Cas out of it. (They cut it out of the original script bc they felt that Dean would not say I love you this early. He hadn’t even said it to his brother only to his mother in the dream he had bc of the ghoul. But the fact that it was intended to be I love you gives the I need you even more meaning) However it didn’t go as he hoped he would bc Dean never mentioned it again, kept calling him buddy. So he doubted his thoughts and kept his feelings to himself, afraid to push Dean away.

Dean’s second almost confession happened 6 seasons later. Dean’s prayer. „I‘m sorry it took me so long to say it“ is not only about the forgiveness. Prayers are not always spoken out loud, we don’t know if he added anything in silence, all though I don’t think so. Dean didn’t say I love you there, maybe because he thought Cas deserved to hear it when he was standing right in front of him and not through a prayer he isn’t sure Cas could even hear. So when he finally found Cas you could see determination on his face. I believe he wanted to tell him then and there. And when he started with „Cas, I need to say something“ and Cas interrupted him he was confused and devastated, but he respected Cas decision. He didn’t push after „I heard your prayer“. Maybe he also was relieved for the diversion bc he is emotionally repressed and he is not the character who says I love you lighthearted, maybe he also thought that Cas doesn’t reciprocate and this time it’s Dean who is afraid to bring it up, afraid to risk their friendship. But Cas knew he had to stop him bc if not he would have been happy. It would not have mattered that the world was ending bc he would have been truly happy and he couldn’t risk it, so he interrupted Dean.

The last time it is Cas who confessed bc he hasn’t got anything to lose. He could only win bc even if he is gone he had saved Dean and the all of the others. But he already knows Dean loves him, he is almost certain he does. (The actors changes the script here a few times.) After the „I love you“ Dean said „Don’t do it, Cas“ (Script said Cass). He doesn’t look like he is disgusted that his best friend is confessing his love to him, no he is afraid. Yes, he is shocked and surprised and can’t say it back therefore. He is after all still an emotionally repressed character. But his „Don’t do it“ is a plea for Cas to not go there. It’s a don’t tell me you love me to then leave me alone, don’t give me all I wished for and then take it away before I can get a say in it. It’s a longing for Cas to take it back just so that he won’t leave him again. Dean knows what life felt without Cas and he pleads that Cas won’t put him through that again. But it’s to late and he knows this too, so when Cas pulles him on while saying „Good bye, Dean“ he wants to ask him something, you can hear the „What..“ that hangs in the air. You see that he is too shocked to do anything but expects something at the same time, maybe a kiss, maybe a hug, anything at all but not being pushed out of the way. He crumbles as he watches Cas being taken by the Empty and you can see that in that moment he is numb. He looks around for him and when he realizes that this was Goodbye forever, he breaks. At this exact moment Dean’s world ended. Outside of the walls he was leaning against was his brother, his son who needed his help but he had no fight in him. He ignores Sam’s call and he had never done this before. This man lost the love of his life in that moment and simultaneously the reason for him to fight.

Another big thing is that Dean seems happy in the final episode. We know he was always devastated when Cas was dead. A walking meat suit so to say. Dean is the best hunter with Sam together, he never made a mistake that was so banal that he overlooked a screw he saw more than once during the fight. He knows how to take on a bigger persona, a stronger monster than him, he knows not to launch himself at it, so why did he. Psychological speaking, a person who is keen on dying makes peace a few days prior with their decision, appeares calm, happy and content; suicidal or not, taking their own lives or dying bc of a letal disease. This is what I see in the last episode. Dean knew his brother was finally happy, had someone in his life to look after him when he would be gone, but he wasn’t. He was numb, he had no reason to life. He had no son on earth, his purpose in saving the world was fulfilled. He couldn’t retire bc then he would have nothing. He had no one waiting for him at home bc the one thing he wants is the one thing he can’t have. In Dean‘s mind Cas is gone forever and most of the people who are most important to him are in heaven. Dean wanted to die. There is no other explanation as for why Jack didn’t send Cas to heal him or did it himself. It’s why Dean asked his brother to tell him it’s ok, so he knows Sam will be able to get over his death instead of telling him to get help. And Sam knows bc he doesn’t tell him to hold it together, to keep fighting till he gets help. No, Sam pleads to Dean not to go just like Dean pleaded that Cas won’t leave him. When Dean arrived in heaven he was content, he wasn’t happy yet, he was relieved. „At least I made it to heaven“ is so important here bc it is common sense that suicide is a sin, that people that take their own life go to hell. Dean hoped that by dying in an accident he would bypass this fact even if he provoked the accident. He is also surprised about the changes made in heaven that his kid , as Bobby said. You can see his face fall for a minute when Bobby mentions his Dad, like he is afraid he disappointed his father by becoming the person he was, maybe even by falling in love with a gay angel. The moment Bobby mentions that Cas helped Jack Dean smiled, smirked even bc his plan not only worked but bc his dream came true. He had his Cas back, or at least Cas was alive and he could see him. „It’s almost perfect“, what did he mean by this. Was he talking about Sam only or was he missing something else too. Bobby then tells him he can have anything he wants anything he wishes for and Dean gulps. He diverts Bobby‘s questions about what he is gonna do about it just like he always did when someone mentioned his feelings for Cas on earth, but then his face falls on baby and he seems determined. He answers „I think I‘ll go for a drive“ casually but his face is not the face of someone who just wants to take a stroll through heaven. His face is the face of someone who is determined to get something done. Call me delusional but I think Dean took that car to go and find Cas. To finally tell him that he loves him too. To get everything he ever wished for and bc that means all of them happy he meats Sam on his way, maybe after he went to see Cas and Jack, maybe before. But Dean decided to take his car to a specific location, he was determined when deciding to go for a drive. We don’t get to see Cas and Dean reuniting, but we all know that for Dean to be truly happy he needs not only Sam but also Cas. And as Bobby said You can have all you wish for, we know that Dean got to have Castiel.

[sam-winchester-wears-makeup]

Not to go off but can y'all on tumblr stop dragging Jensen Ackles through the fucking mud he doesn't deserve it. He's an LGBTQ+ ally and has been for years. A lot of you didn't even see the show let alone the episode in question so you shouldn't be blindly accusing Jensen of being a homophobe. Jensen has as mentioned in another post played a bisexual man who had threeways with Marliyn Monroe and his character was also a lover to Patrick Dempsey's character in the same show, a 2001 mini series called Blonde. Jensen has been nothing but supportive and kind to members of the SPN fandom who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community when interacting with them. Just because he personally doesn't ship Destiel doesn't make him homophobic. I don't ship it and that doesn't make me homophobic either. I don't say that because I'm pansexual but because I don't hate on the ship or those who enjoy it or y'know anyone who isn't cishet whether they're fictional or not.

On the topic of Dean he had many things on his mind when his best friend gave that confession before being taken away by the Empty. There was literally someone outside the door of the room they were in trying to kill them and he was having a hard time processing the fact that a lot of the people he knew and cared about got snapped out of existence. Regularly he has a very hard time dealing with his emotions and it takes a few episodes for him to open up because he tends to keep his emotions bottled up inside so processing something like that in under a minute when he has to worry about keeping the two of them alive while he's also grieving would be kinda hard.

May I also point out Castiel has told both Winchester boys he loves them. They are his found family and showed him he could make his own decisions instead of being heaven's loyal dispensable little soldier. The boys treated him with kindness and compassion, taught him how to feel emotions and be his own person, watched his back, stuck with him through thick and thin, taught him to enjoy the small stuff.

Whether Castiel meant he loved Dean in a romantic way or not is up for debate but the SPN fandom should keep in mind that the showrunners did not give him a set sexuality so you cannot strictly say he is gay or bi or pan and decide for the entirety of the fandom what his sexuality is. Having your own opinion on the matter is perfectly fine but forcing your opinion onto others and hating on the people who do not share your opinion is not okay. People can continue to write their Destiel fics with renewed vigor if they so choose to and people who write Castiel x reader insert fics or Dean x reader insert fics can continue on as well because Cas has no set sexuality and the whole fandom can continue to enjoy writing him as they wish.

Castiel's sexuality is probably going to become a topic of great conflict in the foreseeable future because there will be those who argue he is gay due to his confession to Dean while there will be those who argue against that. I would like to point out angels do not view gender and sexuality as humans do. An angel is basically just a soul inhabiting a human vessel, they do not care what gender they inhabit, a vessel is a vessel. Castiel did not care whether he inhabited Claire's body or Jimmy's he just needed a vessel and being a vessel is a familial trait that only certain lines carry, he only left Claire's body because Jimmy's dying wish was for Cas to inhabit his instead of his daughter's so she wouldn't go through what he went through. Angels basically see each other more or less as souls inhabiting vessels so why would they care about a human's body or gender identity if they liked said human for their personality. What is on the inside is what matters. If a human has an attractive body but personality wise is an unsufferable cunt why would an angel or anyone for that matter like them? Angels or at least Castiel are more likely (in my mind at least) to be attracted to someone's personality and their soul rather than just their physical attributes because angels don't really naturally have physical attributes they can judge each other on up in heaven. Yes a few other angels told Castiel that they preferred his female vessel better than Jimmy which shows they do judge physical appearances of vessels but is Castiel the same as other angels? No. Are all people the same? No. Does physical attraction influence attraction to someone on top of their personality in most cases? Yes. But that does not mean people or angels solely like someone based on their appearance or gender. Really the only people who can confirm Cas' sexuality are the show runners but that hasn't happened so everyone is still free to write and interpret him how they please. If they do assign Castiel a sexuality in the future some people may also choose to ignore that which is also completely fine.

[gothamangelwings]

Okay, so I wasn’t sure if I was going to say anything about this, but I have to, for my own sanity. Excuse me for my rambling (especially about Castiel) and repeating myself, which I probably will do in this post.

Truth is I only got into Supernatural a little over a year ago. I just kept avoiding it over the years. I think when it was in it’s 7th or 8th season, I thought to myself “oh this should be ending soon. I’ll just wait til its over and watch it then” That did not happen. Jump to last year when I heard about the Scoobynatural episode. I love Scooby so I had to watch. And I loved it. And I really loved Sam and Dean. But I also couldn’t stop thinking about the guy in the trench coat with the deep voice named Castiel. Did very little research to find out he’s an angel. That’s all I wanted to know. Went to netflix and started watching the show from the beginning. By the time I got midway thru season 3 I was hooked. I started buying the dvds in bunches. Watching as much as a I could a week. When I got to season 4 I was Cass on the cover of the boxset and said “that’s him! That’s the angel! He’s in the season!” I actually didn’t know he would show up right in the beginning of the season but when Dean was at that gas station and gas started shattering I thought. That’s him isn’t it? That’s Castiel. Misha’s actual entrance on the show is the best in history. I do love Sam and Dean but I’m not going to lie and pretend like Castiel isn’t my favorite. Because he is. I adore that awkward angel. He is the reason I happily kept watching and brought all the dvds because I knew Misha was still working on the show. He is the reason I will buy season 15. I started shipping Destiel in season 5 but when I re-watched the series (Yes I watched it twice in less than a year. One over a period of several months the other over a few weeks before the show came back after hiatus.) I saw moments in season 4 that i missed the first time around.

So yes this finale makes me cry and not in a good way. although there are a few saving graces.

Let’s begin.

First let me start by saying I do not in any way blame the actors. Especially Jensen. He said he thought the ending was bad and had to be talked into it. Dean/Jensen deserved better. I blame the writers and producers and The CW

Second, repeat after me:

Cass is in heaven with Dean

Cass is in heaven with Dean

Cass is in heaven with Dean

Cass is in heaven with Dean

Now speaking of Castiel, who I mostly want to talk about before addressing the rest of this mess. Castiel/Misha deserved better. There really is no reason Misha couldn’t be in the final episode unless there was something on his end. Although seeing that he recently went to California to shoot a something for Amazon and took West to the Winchester House. He can definitely travel. But if there was some reason on his end, then okay, fine then. However that doesn’t excuse the way the handled his character in these last two episodes.

Yes in 15x19 Dean demands Chuck bring Cass back. Dean remembers Cass’s words when Chuck calls him the ultimate killer. Yes, Dean runs to the door when he thinks Cass has just called him. Instead in was Lucifer. What a slap in the face to the fans and an insult to Misha after that beautiful confession of love.

But the end of the episode. Jack becomes God and no one says “What about Cass?”

Now 15x20. Sam brings up Castiel and Dean is just like “move on“. No, That is not Dean. No matter what Dean cared about Castiel, to the point that being without him in the past led him to depression. i understand he doesn’t want Castiel’s sacrifice to be in vein. But come on. There’s living on and being happy and then there’s acting like the guy didn’t matter. Again, no. That is not Dean. Not after all the development those two have had. I know Dean wasn’t always perfect when it came to Cass but he did care. What happened to “We lost everything. Now you’re going to bring him back” What happened to the purgatory apology and admitting his anger issues. And so much more.

Again Castiel is in heaven. Jack got him out of The Empty. But they could of made it more clear. ( I swear, if they are leaving this up to interpretation....) Because I see so many people who have “conveniently” missed what Bobby said and insist he’s still in The Empty. Or just want to say “well that’s not what he meant. Cas is still dead, he just meant his influence on Jack” or some shit like that.(Now that I think about maybe influence isn’t the right word to use with this fandom lol)

Anyway lets say that Misha could not in anyway be there for filming. YOU CAN STILL ADDRESS HIS CHARACTER PROPERLY AND GIVE HIM A SATISFYING ENDING. In fact you barely have to change the scene between Dean and Bobby just add a few more lines.

Dean: “So Jack did all that?”

Bobby: “Well Cass helped”

Dean: “Wait, Cass is here?!”

Bobby: ‘Yep, Kid got him out.”

Dean: “Well where is he? Can I see him?”

Bobby (smiling): “Now calm down ya idjit. He’ll be back soon. Had some business to take of. But he is planning to stick around here with the rest of us.’

Dean (smiling, happy because he’s getting a second chance): Good. He belongs with us. With me. (takes a drink) It’s just too bad...

Bobby (knowing he’s talking about Sam: “Don’t worry he’ll be here shortly...”

Scene plays out as normal but instead when Sam and Dean are reunited. Dean tells him “Let’s head back, Mom, Dad, Bobby, and Cass are waiting for us. Along with everyone else we loved and lost when we were alive.”

Or... a few scenarios with Castiel there (even for a few moments)

1. When Dean dies (yeah we’ll talk about that) Jack sends down Cass to take him to heaven. Dean leaves his body. Watches as Sam falls apart and then hears “Hello Dean” turns and there’s Cass to guide him to heaven and also let him know Sam will be okay and will live a happy life”

2. The scene with Bobby starts the way it did but instead after he says “Well Cass helped” he points behind Dean.

Cass: “Hello Dean.”

Dean: “Cas! Aw, it’s good to see you. You have no idea.”

They embrace. Maybe the say something about the confession maybe they don’t but at least they’re together and we know that they have time to talk.

Episode continues as it did but again Dean tells Sam that Castiel is here waiting for them.

3. Episode plays exactly as it did. Except at the very end after Sam and Dean reunite on the bridge...

Cass: “Hello Dean. Hello Sam”

Both: Cass!

The three hug. Dean a bit longer.

Dean: “Well look at that. Team Free Will back together again. This time forever.”

In any scenario Castiel is living in heaven with the boys. Him and Dean eventually talk about what happened. In my canon Dean returns his feelings but even if he can’t it’s okay because Dean does care about Cass. And Castiel’s happiness was just in being able to say it. Either way they’re together along with everyone else they love and will be waiting for those who haven’t arrived yet.

Also Cass finally gets his guinea pig. Because he deserves it.

ONCE AGAIN, EVEN IF MISHA COULDN’T BE THERE. THERE WERE STILL BETTER WAYS TO HANDLE THIS ENDING! OH AND THERE BETTER NOT BE SOME LAME ASS THING LIKE ‘HE’S IN HEAVEN WORKING WITH JACK BUT ISN’T ALLOWED HERE BECAUSE THE NEW GOD LIKES TO KEEP ANGELS SEPARATE FROM THE REST OF US’

NO. CASTIEL IS DEFINITELY WITH DEAN IN HEAVEN. END OF STORY.

Moving on the other problems which I won’t go into full detail in like I did Castiel.

Dean’s death. The ever loving fuck was that? A nail?! I get that they finally get to call the shots in there own lives now but come on! A nail. And this is what a few weeks after defeating Chuck. Who, if he wants to can have a happy life. You know when Cass heard about this he rolled his eyes. Like “Really?!”

Ewwww that forehead touch. I know for most people it’s just a sweet final moment between two siblings as one dies. But we all know this is fuel for the Winc*sters and b*bros. I mean come on now. You’re afraid to have Dean even acknowledge Castiel’s feelings but a forehead touch that can and will be taken out of context as romantic between two brothers is fine and dandy. I was watching this with my Mom and even she was like “That forehead touch,,, why.. just why...”

Funny thing about my Mom. (Sorry not sorry going back to talk about Cass for a moment) She has been watching SPN with me this year but honestly only (not even) half paid attention. She has a habit of always looking at her phone even when it’s something she wants to watch. Two weeks ago after 15X18 I asked “Do you believe Cass’s confession was romantic?”

Her response. “No, they’re just friends. Angels aren’t supposed to feel romantic love.’ We get into a small argument.

A few days later...

Me: “Misha confirmed it was romantic.”

Mom: “Oh, well that settles it then. I just was taught that angels didn’t feel that kind of love.”

Me: “Yeah but your forgetting a few things. 1. Cass isn’t like other angels and 2. This is a fictional tv show not the actual bible.

Mom laughs: “Good point, Guess I didn’t think about that.”

Me: “Y’know people are actually saying  that Cass can’t be gay or bi because Dean isn’t.”

Mom: “That’s stupid. One has nothing to do with the other. Even if Dean doesn’t feel the same way that doesn’t change Castiel’s feelings.”

Jump to the last few days.

Mom: “Cass is going to show up in the finale. He and Dean will be reunited! Maybe he’s one of those people in the masks being controlled by The Empty. Or maybe there will be a scene in the barn where Dean is on the ground about to be stabbed and Cass saves him in the knick of time!”

Mom after the finale: “That was terrible. Very disappointed. They really couldn’t get Misha for few minutes. They better not use covid as an excuse with all those people on that bridge. Everything about this episode felt wrong” (she said that about 15x19 too). (Grabs her phone to look at twitter) “Misha is crying. This episode doesn’t deserve pie.”

We brought pie. We did not eat it.

Moving on.. .yeah yeah the wig on Jared was awful. But who cares. What I want to know is who is the mother? Is it Eileen? I hope it’s Eileen. It better be Eileen.

The barn. Why? Why that barn? Did they really think no one would notice. I get reusing sets and locations as completely different places. But that just hurt.

Did we need so many songs with no dialogue being spoken. I mean yes Carry On was a must have but so much time could’ve been spent talking about other characters during the other songs .

And again why are they trying to make Dean look bad. It’s not his/Jensen’s fault it’s the horrible writing of these final two episodes. Why did they not take to opportunity to talk about Castiel’s confession. Yes I’m  back on Cas again. I warned you. Also he’s probably the main reason you’re reading this anyway, so yeah...

I would like to believe a conversation happened off screen but the way Sam and Dean acted it doesn’t seem like it.

Again would it be so hard. Two scenarios

1.

Dean: “Before Cass got dragged into the Empty he told me...

Sam: :Told you what?”

Dean: He told me... he told me he loved me.”

Sam (smiling): “That’s not news Dean,”

Dean: “No Sammy. He really loved me... like... you know..”

Sam: “Again, not news Dean. How do you feel? “

Dean (hesitates): “ I think... no, I know I love him too. He’s the only man I’ll ever love.”

Sam: “Well you know technically Cass really isn’t male... so...

Dean: “Oh please Sammy. Could you imagine Cass in any other body? Especially a chicks. It would be so weird.”

Sam: “Good point.”

Dean: “Besides, he was perfect the way he was.”

2.

Dean: “Before Cass got dragged into the Empty he told me...

Sam: :Told you what?

”Dean: He told me... he told me he loved me.”

Sam (smiling): “That’s not news Dean,”

Dean: “No Sammy. He really loved me... like... you know..”

Sam: “Again, not news Dean. How do you feel? “

Dean: “I can’t return his feelings. I see him as a man and you know I’m attracted to women.”

Sam: “Alright then.”

Dean. “But y’know...”

Sam: “Hmmm?”

Dean: “I still miss him. I wish he was here with us.”

There were so many easy ways to fix this and they did nothing. Did they not think 15x18 would have a huge impact. I really hope the writers are kicking themselves for this. Funny, by ignoring Castiel and his feelings they actually brought more attention and love to him and Misha.

I really don’t know if a rewrite and reshoot for the dvd release is possible. Has that ever been done, I feel like it has but I’m not sure. But if it is. Fix it. It only took a few weeks to film these last two episodes. I’m sure all the actors can come back to film for a few weeks. Once there are less Covid restrictions of courses. I know there’s been talk about a possible movie. That could fix it. As long as they bring back the angel in the trench coat. Or how about a bonus episode for the dvd 15x21 where everyone is gathered in heaven. Sam, Dean, Cass, Bobby, Mary, John, Kevin, Charlie, Eileen, Jo, Ellen, Pam. Even Crowley and Rowena because why not. Oooh and Meg too because she did sacrifice herself for them and also I just love her.  Anyway they all gather and talk about old times. Perfect excuse for an old fashion clip show. Funny/heartwarming banter in between. Make Destiel canon at the end. Another possible way to fix it is do a comic book season or even just a few issues to flesh out the ending in heaven. Just fix it.

At least we have fanfiction.

If there are any positives to take away it’s this:

1: Castiel is in heaven with Dean. They are together. They have a second chance.

2. It was said only 30% of the fanbase would like this ending. Like many people I assumed that meant a Destiel ending. Cause I thought out of the whole fanbase shippers were in the minority. Nope turns of the the Winc*sters/B*bros are the 30%. Destiel fans, Cass fans, Misha fans are part of the 70% who hate this. Though why you would want to only please 30% of your fanbase is beyond me.

3. Sam was able to live a long happy life without being codependent on his brother.

I absolutely hated the last two episodes and how this show ended. Again the only saving grace is knowing Jack got Castiel out of The Empty and he and Dean reunited in heaven. But no matter how much I hated 99% of the ending. I still love this show and all it’s characters. I will happily go back and watch it over again to relive the good, funny, sad, bittersweet moments. The final 90 minutes of the series is not going to ruin that for me. I love Sam and Dean but Castiel is my favorite and I will happily go back and enjoy everything about his character. I am not going  to let this ruin Supernatural for me. Next summer I am going to my first SPN Convention and I can’t wait. I may have only discovered the greatness of Supernatural a year ago after avoiding it for so long but I want it to stay apart of my life. Like I said I only got into Supernatural a little over a year ago but this hurt my heart so much I only imagine how those of your who’ve been here for over a decade feel.

I know this was very, very long and I probably actually forgot some things I wanted to say. But I’m tired.

Cass and Dean are in heaven together. I believe they are canon 💙💚

[shardminds]

okay i know in the grand scheme of things it’s been about 5 minutes since i got into spn and about 4.5 seconds since i started following spn blogs on tumblr but i just want 2 share some stuff re: what i would have liked to happen in my ideal ending. spoilers below.

number 1, sam and eileen endgame. after losing her in 15x18 and trying so hard to hold it together, sam’s quite obviously devvo’d. man’s a mess but he can’t let himself fall apart. 15x19 happens and everyone chuck disintegrated faster than communion wafers comes back and the FIRST thing sam does? calls eileen. high tails it out of there. speed limits who? there’s a heartwarming moment. maybe an ‘i love you’ or maybe not but it’s touching and heart wrenching and everyone cries and it’s nice. there you go, sam winchester. not only did you help save the world, but you got a happy ending in the process. eileen moves into the mol bunker. don’t @ me. she’s also great with miracle. and, in the long run, kids.  

number 2, deancas. my whole thing is, if they didn’t want canon deancas ending, why have cas confess? like i get the empty deal and i understand ‘happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in just being. it’s in just saying it’ but... if u didn’t want people to swarm on the possibility of deancas... why include it at all? especially for it to never be mentioned again. for cas, a man/angel/being of celestial intent that had spent like... 12(?) years at this point in sam and dean’s lives. you’re gonna tell me they just... let him sacrifice himself and then dip? ok. seems we have been watching different shows. or the same show from different perspectives. so, hear me out. dean says it back. maybe not in as many words or he pulls a hans solo ‘i know’. okay so they beat the shit out of The Literal Abrahamic God later to supercharge jack faster than shotgunning three monster energy mango locos ever could and leave chuck belly up in the mud like the invertebrate he proved himself to be and jack is Thee God now and dean just straight up asks. give that to me. give me the “please, jack.” and dean, so close to breaking, holding himself together with nothing but pure strength of will and residual adrenaline. give me jack’s reluctance, give me his admission of not wanting to mutate into the same megalomaniac chuck proved himself to be,using the winchesters as chess pieces in his own game. give me his humanity. the parts he inherited from kelly. give me his humanity and his grief and his loss and—castiel was his father, for fucks sake! he lost a father and a mother and he’s about to lose the only family he ever had. yes, he’ll be omnipresent—a perk of the job—but he’ll never be there in the way they want. so let him do this. there’s like a whole genesis parallel, you know all ‘the lord said let there be light, and there was light’ only not as on the nose as that. jack’s one selfish act before he himself, combined with amara, ascends. he does his whole speech. i’ll be in every drop of falling rain etc etc and then he dips. only, he’s gone and when dean turns around. cas is there. boom. 

there’s no kiss. no explicit ‘hello look at this confirmed gay angel and his human hunter ??sexual friend making out’ because that too much too fast. dean has spent the past 15 seasons trying to unfuck himself from the damage john winchester left behind (the nun hunt on his 17th birthday? lebanon? i will meet john winchester in the pit.) and as close as he is to finally just allowing himself to be himself, he’s not quite there yet. but the relief on his face. the—i’m gonna say it—love in his expression. cas’s confession clearly affected him, just look at 15x18. maybe dean doesn’t know what that means yet. maybe he does. but there’s a hug. an embrace. one of those that says ‘i don’t know why or how i like you, fruity little angel man, but i do and i’m not letting go’. it lasts a beat too long. maybe there’s tears. i’ll leave that up to jackles jacting joices.

number 3, michael sacrifices himself to save adam. OKAY SO THE WHOLE MICHAEL STORYLINE IN 15x19? BULLSHIT. especially with the adamichael scene in 15x08? where it is canonically confirmed that, after spending a real life decade (which is OVER ONE THOUSAND YEARS in hell time. 4 months = 40 years so 10 years or 120 months = 1200 years) trapped in the cage together, they became friends and shared control of the vessel. michael considered adam his guide on earth. michael. MICHAEL. M I C H A E L. seeing how spn painted him as one of, if not, THE most powerful and fearsome angel? man’s whipped. and then he loses adam when chuck has his thanos snap moment. imagine sharing a vessel with someone for twelve. hundred. years. and then being completely alone in a world you don’t know. how maddening for there to be only silence in your head. the fact that they then rammed this bs of him being jealous of lucifer for being ‘daddy’s favourite’ was exactly that. bullshit. no no no, my friends. michael was playing his own game; crossing the winchesters for chuck but actually, crossing chuck for his own gain. he learns of the winchesters plan to utilise the fact that jack is the power hungry equivalent of a shamwow and uses that to his own gain. i haven’t figured out the particulars but when chuck beats the shit out of michael, he kills the angel but leaves the vessel (think like jack at the end of s14). michael the winchesters think michael died a snivelling god fearing soldier. and then, when jack does his whole thing, up wakes adam. the winchesters take him in and explain what went down when he, you know. and adam lets them know that no, michaels not like that etc etc he did it for me etc he did it to save me. michael’s fall was imperative to the destruction of god. and, for that, he will always be remembered. adam’s not a hunter, but he stays at the bunker anyway. he has nowhere else to go. 

number 4, episode 15x20. what do you mean dean and sam both die? not in this universe i carry inside my head they don’t! this episode is just a bunch of scenes from throughout the years. you might think it boring but i think it’s great and this is my post so u can’t tell me what 2 do. dean opens up a bar for hunters a la 14x10 and has pictures on all the walls of all the fallen hunters and friends that have helped them throughout the years. you want a picture on the wall for a friend you lost? sure! just bring a photo and tack it on up there. out of sight, kept to the wall of the office, they keep pictures of the non-humans that helped. it’s private. a reminder. sam and eileen stop by a couple times a week if they can. jody and donna make the rounds with the girls too if work allows. or they come on their own. the girls are old enough to take care of themselves now. claire pops in when she can, always bringing a present for cas (despite him reprimanding her for doing so) and dean is always happy to see her. she doesn’t text enough. 

sam sets up the bunker as a base for hunters again, trying to get a system up and running like before where hunters can check in and get help and use the weapons and resources they have for cases. 

they don’t deal with heaven anymore. they haven’t seen jack since he disappeared but they also haven’t had any angel troubles either. maybe it’s because there are so few. castiel helps a lot as he still has his grace—although he’s still unable to teleport and he seems to be aging, trapped in some kind of space between. not angel and not human and definitely not nephilim. he’s powerful and powerless at the same time. he doesn’t complain about this, knowing what it means. it’s a kindness. 

rowena is also on side, mostly, although she has her own gain in mind always. they have the stray demon that pops up every now and again but she– uh... prefers to make an example of them using her own methods. sam has learned not to question it. she teases him incessantly, as usual. 

also, stay at home dad sam. eileen jumps back into hunting. they’ve had conversations—arguments—about it before. he doesn’t want to turn into his father, driven mad chasing mary’s ghost if something were to happen. she refuses to even entertain the thought of that. yelling “you are a lot of things, sam winchester. your father is not one of them.” and at the end of the day, there’s a mutual trust there and he knows she won’t put herself in unnecessary risk, and he 100% roped dean in to jumping on as backup if and when she needs it. the kid(s) are raised love and cherished and surrounded by family. sam also learns how to sign one handed with a baby on his hip. it’s adorable.

anyway we never have to find out about heaven because no one dies thank you for coming to my ted talk.

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: Despair (15x18)

I'm having an out of body experience, I cannot believe this. Last night was legitimately one of the weirdest nights of my life, and not just because of *gestures broadly* but also because of *gestures broadly* and myriad other small but still totally bizarre personal things coming at me from all angles... strap in, y'all, I've got some shit to say.

Cons:

We're gonna talk about it. Ohhhh, we're gonna talk about it. But let's start with some other shit before we get there.

So... are we ignoring "Dean was willing to let Jack sacrifice himself" or something? Like there was that moment with Sam and Dean where they talked about it, and Dean apologizes for pulling a gun on Sam, and Sam is like "oh it's okay Dean, no worries." But at the beginning of this episode, Dean seems to be just as worried for Jack, and as protective of him, as the others, with absolutely no acknowledgment of what happened in the last episode. This... should have mattered. There should have been some regrouping and some serious talks about this. Seriously.

The Thanos snap thing... guys, when Infinity War did it in 2018, it was kind of fun and shocking and cool, and we knew the deaths wouldn't be permanent but it was still wild to watch our heroes react to such an immense loss and then leave us all in limbo for a year. This... is not that. The sheer tone-deafness of having this episode contain a moment of domesticity for AU!Charlie and her cool egg-making girlfriend Stevie, only to have Stevie vanish... and then to end the episode with the biggest queer-bait/bury your gays moment imaginable... like...

Okay, sorry, no, saving the Destiel thing until I've sorted out the rest of this nonsense. The point is, seems pretty clear that the deaths in this episode (other than Cas') are temporary, and Supernatural already has the biggest power creep problem of any show I've ever seen... they really couldn't think of another way to up the stakes for the ending, other than doing the thing where everyone gets killed? Didn't... Crowley... already do this to them several seasons back? Am I hallucinating? There's nothing new under the sun with this show.

Why does this show introduce things and resolve them in a single episode? Like, big, huge things? We just figured out Death was trying to double-cross them, and now by the end she's dead? This show either limps along and does nothing, or speeds through plot stuff at lightning-speed. These last two episodes were big and dramatic and full of Plot but in a way where it all feels kind of unreal. Pacing issues like whoa.

And speaking of. Ahem. Okay. Let's... let's do this. I have some things about the Destiel scene that I'm going to put in the "pros" section below, and hopefully as you read on you'll understand why it's really hard for me to be black and white about it. If I had to, if I had to determine whether I am "happy" or "sad" or "grateful" or "angry" I'd say... sad and angry, 97%? Like? Let's dive in, here.

Setting aside the larger context, a couple of smaller notes:

Acting-wise, what the fuck was Jensen doing in this scene? Misha was acting his whole heart out and Jensen gave him nothing to play off of. I don't understand how Jensen accidentally played Dean so obviously in love with Cas all this time, and then in this moment, no-homo'd it so fucking hard. Even the stage directions in the script page that was floating around said that Dean didn't reciprocate. That's dumb, like, in a shipping sense it's disappointing, but also... Dean, what was your face doing while Cas gave his whole monologue about how amazing you are? What a great and loving man you are? Even if he hadn't ended the whole thing by saying "I love you" and then dying right in front of your eyes, surely you would have been feeling some kind of way about the whole situation?

Also, the scene was shot so awkwardly, there was too much space between them, and then Cas pushes Dean out of the way and he just sits there on the floor with Pikachu-face while The Empty opens up and takes Death and Cas away, making these weird shocked noises... Supernatural often has awkward pacing when dramatic things are happening in action scenes, where certain people have to stand still like it's not their turn on the initiative order in a D&D fight or something, and this was one of the more embarrassing and awkward examples of that.

Cas' deal with The Empty has not been brought up practically since it happened. Cas has been sidelined as a character a lot this season, the past couple seasons, really, but we had this hanging over our heads, right? When Cas says "I've figured it out, true happiness isn't in having, it's just in saying it", the moment doesn't really work on a character level, because we didn't get to see Cas do any of that figuring out. We didn't know he was curious about his true happiness, we didn't know it was an internal struggle/debate for him, wondering what it could be. A lot of Destiel people wanted it to be Dean confessing his love to Cas, and that being the true happiness... but of course that would never happen in a million years. Others thought it would be "yay we defeated the big evil, we can all be a happy family together," oh snap, I'm too happy, goodbye. Which would have been... weirdly anticlimactic, but at least would have made some level of narrative sense. This idea that telling Dean how he feels would bring Cas peace is... well, it's okay, it's fine in isolation, but there's no buildup to it, no tension to his moment of "realization."

And now to fry some bigger fish...

Let's forget about the fact that we never thought this would happen to begin with. Is it actually... worse that it did? Seriously, queer angel man confesses his love to stoic human man who stands there without making a single expression, and the act of confessing said love, knowing it's not reciprocated, knowing he won't get to be with Dean or even be near him ever again, is enough to make Castiel so truly happy that he's willing to die peacefully and forever, all in the act of saving Dean's life? Is that not... like... textbook homophobia? People toss around "bury your gays" a lot and I think what they're missing is that the trope doesn't automatically apply just because a queer character dies. It means a queer character dies because of their queerness, or they are revealed to be queer but can't get any measure of happiness and then they die immediately. This is textbook that. The act of confessing his GAY LOVE is what KILLED CAS. It's a one-to-one sequence of events. It's not a coincidence that Cas died right after saying this. Saying this is what made him die. That's... appalling. Truly, in a very real sense, it's appalling.

Another thing I haven't seen people talk about much is the manufactured nature of this sacrifice. We just found out Billie was going to turn on them at the end of the last episode. If Cas was going to die in a sacrifice-y way, did it have to happen now when Billie was basically just knocking on the door trying to get at Dean for a last-minute revenge thing, even though Billie was already at death's door? This was so contrived, like, can Cas not whoosh them away to somewhere else? Keep them running until Billie succumbs? I get that it wouldn't have been easy, and maybe Billie could have caught up to them anyway, but my point is, they manufactured this moment to be "the only way" that Dean could survive, making Cas' sacrifice so noble and necessary or whatever... but I was sitting there thinking there's got to be another way. If they'd wanted to write in another way, there could have been. The inevitability felt so very contrived. And, as mentioned, the impact of dying on this show has lost all meaning, so even Billie trying to kill Dean, squeezing his heart in his chest, did absolutely nothing for me. I knew he'd be fine, because there are two more episodes left. And if Cas hadn't been there to do what he did, Dean would still have been fine because he's Dean. Am I making any sense?

We have two more episodes left. I am... fairly confident Misha won't be in those episodes. All context, both within the show and without, points to that. I truly think that after all this time, he gets the only ending in the whole show that's unambiguously unsalvageable and tragic. We have a world where the afterlife exists and people can hang out there, but The Empty is a different beast, and this means Cas is... gone. Permanently. Like, his consciousness no longer exists, he's caput. They could bring him back from The Empty, in fact, they've already done it once... but if they decide not to, that's just... where we leave things, and that's brutal and unnecessarily grim. The other characters, even if we get an end-of-show TPK (which would be STUPID, more on that later), could at least have canon or implied-canon reunions in the afterlife. If we don't see Eileen again, we can get the implied ending of her coming back to life, or Sam dying and joining her in Heaven. Same with Charlie, with Charlie's new girlfriend, with Bobby, with Donna, with every other character that's died along the way, including Mary Winchester and OG Charlie, OG Bobby, whatever you want. The fact that Cas gets this, after everything, is truly the part I'm the most sad about, setting aside love confessions entirely.

So as I said, two more episodes. I'm worried that Cas dying is gonna get swallowed up with everyone dying and not get its due, thus making the confession completely isolated. Like, here you go, gays, have this one scene, which, in isolation is quite heartfelt from Cas' perspective, but can be carefully boxed up and not touched for the last two hours of the show. If they don't want to touch on how this would affect Dean specifically, they don't have to. He can be generally angsty and sad about Cas, but they could get away with never bringing it up again, and that is some grade-A level bullshit right there, my friends. At minimum, Dean needs to tell Sam about this. He probably won't, but he should, if the show has any sense of integrity left in its bones.

Ahem. Like I said, I have... lots of thoughts. More on Destiel later, but let's turn to the "Pros" section and talk about some other aspects of this incredibly crowded episode.

Pros:

Despite my issues with everything that didn't get resolved re: Dean letting Jack die, I did kind of like the "to somehow" scene, because it was a nice little breather for the brothers, it solidified them as being on the same side to the bitter end, that despite all the crazy shit they've been through, that they've put each other through, they'll have this as a bedrock at the end of the day. I'm not a brothers-only sort of fan, at all, in fact, I think a brothers-only ending betrays most of what's beautiful about this show in its good moments. But they are the stars, they are the protagonists, they should be the center of their own story, and I like it when we get check-ins like this, that shows how unshakable they are underneath all the other crap.

Charlie and Stevie... okay, cute that their names are like that, cute that Charlie said: "I liked the way she handled herself" and that's how they got together... eggs are cute, whatever... and if these deaths are impermanent, which... come on... they have to be, I do like that Charlie gets to have a girlfriend and be happy as a hunter and as someone's partner.

I liked the tense car ride with Sam texting Eileen, with Dean, Jack, and Cas all silent in the car with him... that was a nice moment of solidarity, all of them entirely on the same page about being there for Sam and helping Eileen however they could... even knowing the futility. What were they going to do when they got there? That was a great tension-building moment, in isolation, even though the deaths are likely temporary.

Cas and Jack's talk was good, I'll admit I've definitely been won over by Cas and Sam as Jack's dads... Dean too, once upon a time, but dude needs to do some groveling before he gets to be Dad again, seriously. It's nice that in the midst of all the chaos, there was a check-in moment. Jack is the embodiment of a lot of our end-game themes, here. He had a noble destiny to sacrifice himself, and then it fizzled out and didn't work, and now he's just left in the aftermath, not sure what to do with himself. It was important that Cas tell him that Jack is worthy of love and family, even if he's not "useful" in the way he thought he could be. Definitely nice to have that nailed in.

If we're following the Infinity War/Endgame line, the last two episodes will be majority Sam, Dean, and Jack, but at the last moment there will be a way to reverse it, and everyone else will come back in a moment of triumph. But probably not so much Castiel, which... well... see above complaints. The point is, seeing Charlie, Bobby, Donna, Eileen, etc. all burst forth for one final moment of glory could be really cool, if they manage to stick the landing with it. It'll be an incredibly manufactured sense of triumph and nostalgia, but it will probably work on me because it's been... guys, I don't know if you know this, but it's been kind of an emotional year. :)

I will say, working under the assumption that the dead characters will come back, I'm actually oddly... not mad about Donna dying. It was actually a legitimately shocking twist. A rule was set up: if a person had died before and been resurrected, or if a person was from another universe, they could be Thanos snapped by Billie. Makes sense. Sam and Dean are in danger because of all their deaths, Jack and Cas aren't safe for the same reason. Charlie, Bobby, Eileen... sure. But Donna should have been safe, given the parameters we started with.

And then Dean and Cas are confronting Billie, she says she's not killing anyone, we realize it must be Chuck... and then Donna, who isn't from another world, who has never died... GONE. I gasped.

And the hits kept coming... Billie is dying because Dean killed her with that small wound, and didn't even know it. That's another excellent twist. The past two episodes, back to back, have kept me on my toes about who to ultimately be afraid of. Chuck? Billie? The Empty? It's so much better than this slow march to Chuck vs. Sam and Dean that we've been getting all season, even if we do loop around to Chuck again as the final Big Bad.

The Empty is actually quite a complex, interesting idea for a villain, this entity that doesn't get involved in petty squabbles, doesn't have personal vendettas, but actually just wants to sleep and be left alone. Having Meg be the Empty's face here at the end is also a nice touch. I wish we could have had more of this, truthfully, and I'm curious how The Empty will play a role in how things shake out, if at all.

So... I want to go back to something I've been saying these past couple episodes, about how if this show has a grimdark ending, it will be a betrayal of everything they've set up. It will be so stupid that my anger will manifest in yet another round of hysterical giggles. What I suspect is that we'll get something peaceful, something where trauma will linger but people will get to start anew. Maybe Jack creates a new world outside of Chuck's power. Maybe Sam and Dean take over as God and the Darkness, as some people suggested, and Jack is the new Death. Maybe maybe maybe. Bottom line, I could be satisfied with the majority of this ending, and I can even (obliquely, reluctantly) understand that they wanted one final perma-death to really make the stakes feel higher. If they aren't killing off the Winchesters, that leaves Castiel. So what I'm saying in this paragraph is basically that I'm not guaranteed to despise the ending of this show yet. They could still get it right.

God, that sounds pretty bleak, doesn't it?

Before I end this, I want to talk about, as promised, the few Destiel-related points that I'd classify as "pros", albeit with a big asterisk.

First off, Misha clearly found the moment very cathartic, and he pulled out all the stops, and, in isolation, the confession was hella romantic and quite poignant. Without context, just reading these lines? "The one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have" and "because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you..." like, that's some premium content, I won't lie. I also kind of enjoy the idea that Cas finds happiness in saying the words out loud, in being true to who he is. I hate a lot about what happened to Cas here, but if Cas' arc, in its totality, is about embracing humanity, and Dean is the anchor to that, this really does come full circle. He pulled Dean out of Hell, he saved him, he loved him, he'll die for him, and in accepting that love, that human love, he is finally at peace with who he is. Now, mind my comments above, I'm still not happy, but I can see how in one sense, this is narratively poignant. And if others are satisfied with it, I'm happy for them.

(Added bonus, while Jensen's acting was WACK for the majority of that scene, I did like the ending shot, the silence, him not answering Sam's call, crying silently into his hands. That was very nicely shot and acted, I thought.)

Secondly, and this isn't actually praise for the show, it's more a... meta experience? I have to say, the idea that Destiel became sort of canon, but in the most homophobic way possible, in the year 2020, while we're all still waiting for election results to come in is... one of the wildest, most hilarious things to ever have happened to me. I mean it, last night sitting alone in my house I kept cackling loudly to myself, in complete and utter disbelief. I saw Tumblr explode in a way that hasn't happened in years. I was transported back in time nearly a full decade, to the person I was when I started writing these reviews, or even before that, when I was new to Supernatural, new to the whole concept of being truly involved in a fandom.

Here's the thing... I never. Ever. EVER. Thought we would get any sort of textual confirmation. I thought at most, if they went for a happy ending for everyone, we'd get Dean and Cas as hunting partners, and we could all fill in the post-canon gaps. I once told my sister that I'd be happy with a one-sided love confession from Cas to Dean, because that part was practically canon before last night, and in a way, I am happy. I'm happy that this crazy thing actually happened, and if nothing else, all of those clowns can put away their makeup. I was never with them. I never believed, and there's this sliver of me that's happy to have been wrong. It's completely bogus how it happened, but the fact that we live in a reality where it happened is still kind of tripping me out in a major way. So I'm happy, I'm... flabbergasted, but I'm experiencing a very unique, unprecedented soup of emotions this morning and I never would have felt like this if Cas had died with a no homo parting.

And that's the thing, they let it be unambiguously about Dean, not just in that one moment, but all along, and that's really satisfying in a meta narrative sense that when everyone was reading it as "Castiel is in love with Dean," they were... correct. It doesn't really matter when they decided this, in last night's episode they made it crystal-clear that it wasn't a whim, wasn't a recent development, in-universe. This has been Cas' truth from very, very early on, his entire experience since meeting Dean has been shaped by him, he's loved him all this time. That... I don't know, it's absolutely bonkers that this is all we're going to get, but it does mean something, if you want to let it.

Welcome back to 2012, Tumblr. Last night was a wild ride, I won't deny.

I'm giving the episode a bad score, but I just want to say the Destiel scene gets a simultaneous infinity-out-of-ten and also zero-out-of-ten, imploding the multiverse instantly. That's where I'm at, folks. Insert gif of Chidi dropping Peeps into a big pot of chili. I'm gonna go take a nap.

6/10

[destiel-otp-yayy]

A Great “Fuck You” to the Supernatural Narrative

After season 15 episode 18, there was hope, love, sacrifice and a reinforcement of the ideas of inclusivity and family. Ironically, the episode titled “Despair” gave us hope. The show has always stood for family, love, hope and free will and disappointingly they took their own narrative and threw it out of the window into literal hell.

Just to clarify my stance, the actors did a terrific job and I couldn’t be more proud of Jared, Jensen, Misha and Alex and literally every other actor who has been a part of the show since season 1. You gave us everything and we love you for that. Additionally, we also sympathize with the fact that you unknowingly became a part of a show which after the finale represents nothing but homophobia, racism, sexism, ableism and everything the show claimed to be against.

So with this, I need to say some things.

Media is an amazingly powerful medium of storytelling, whether it be fictional or non-fictional. However, the fictional stories enjoy a kind of liberty that non-fictional stories do not and somehow still equally create an impact on their viewers. Media like movies, television shows and novels and books have a huge impact on their audience from a psychological and a sociological perspective. I will focus on the ‘Social Learning’ perspective to emphasize my point. Social learning, or rather any learning takes place in four stages in any human being; attention, retention, reproduction, and motivation. This means that in order for something to become a part of an individual’s behaviour, they usually go through all these four stages. Let’s take an example. A teenaged girl is watching a high school centric movie where the lead character who is loved by everyone wears ripped jeans. She pays attention to that detail, retains it and tries to reproduce that aspect by wearing ripped jeans herself to be liked. If this behaviour of hers is liked and appreciated by her peers, the behaviour gets reinforced and the chances of the behaviour being repeated increasing.

Consequently, if the teenaged girl sees many loved lead characters from different movies and television shows wearing ripped jeans, her reaction to finally seeing someone wearing ripped jeans in real life would most likely be positive and appreciative. This is the power of media. It can make and break perceptions and plays a huge role in the behaviour portrayed in the society.

People might come at me saying that media is technically the mirror of the society and tends to represent the society the way it is, but I am not talking about realism or non-fictional stories, I am specifically talking about fictional storytelling and will later delve into the narrative created by the longest-running sci-fi television show ‘Supernatural’. Television shows like Supernatural, The Boys, Flash and Arrow don’t represent reality in its pure form but take the fantastical approach towards reality. This basically means that they can show the nature of the world and humans their stand while tweaking reality the way they want. You can have superhumans who are power-hungry and apathetic to represent the modern-day corporate organisations or you can show two brother fighting for God to show how much humans value love, hope and free will. These grand narratives which the shows stand for remains the same and are realistic and relatable despite the obviously fictional storyline. This is what truly makes a good fictional story.

However, this also means that they get the liberty to play with the characters as much as they want. They can literally show men in drag and women in commanding positions, masculine men (or whatever that even means) as members of the LGBTQIA+ community, people of colour at leads and differently-abled people as not objects of pity but rather people who represent strength and hope. This is necessary and it is not wrong for people to ask for representation because this is what will change people’s perception and yes, the onus of this falls on the showrunners and the writers who are creating this fictional world.

The fact that even after fifteen seasons, it was physically impossible for the writers and the showrunners of Supernatural to give us this representation disgusts me. They were able to show an ending where apparently it represented hope, love and family for the two white, male, heterosexual leads on the expense of the sacrifice made my queer, female, differently-abled and Asian characters. Supernatural basically said, “There is hope for the white, straight men and the rest of you can go to hell".

In addition to this, they baited us with the return of our last queer representation by putting Castiel on every promo picture in order to increase the number of views, which they got. They tainted Castiel’s love confession by refusing to acknowledge his love and sacrifice in the subsequent episodes. I refused to believe that the confession scene was homophobic or adhered to the trope of “Bury your Gays” before knowing what happens in the finale, but Supernatural pulled a one over the trope and gave us worse than that. They not only refused to show Dean’s reaction to a love confession but also refused to acknowledge everything that Castiel had done because of course, a queer character doesn’t deserve screen time and appreciation.

Sadly, there is an addition to the above mentioned problematic aspects to this show. Since season 8 specifically, the show has been baiting us with bisexual Dean Winchester. Now, if Dean were an actual, real human being, what I’m about to say would be highly unethical. However, he is not a real person. Dean is a fictional character who represents strength, love, hope, free-will and selflessness who could still represent all of these things while being queer. The writers and the showrunners baited us with Dean’s bisexuality time and time again through background colours, subtext and his scenes with Castiel. But of course, how could a white, male warrior like Dean Winchester be bisexual? How can they break the heteronormative box created for the him which depends on the possibility of him having sex with only women, because that is the reason why Dean represents strength, love, hope, free-will and selflessness. Homophobia runs so deep within this show that Dean wasn’t allowed to reply to Castiel or even acknowledge his presence. He wasn’t allowed a goodbye to the character who literally died countless times to save him. Dean never mentioned how Cas died, not even to his brother because a queer person doesn’t deserve attention. They don’t deserve appreciation and respect. Castiel, after his “homosexual declaration of love” literally went to the Empty, which is canonically a place “worse than hell”.

Enough about the queers already right? Let’s talk about the one differently-abled representation on the show. Technically Eileen should’ve been back, she should’ve been alive. If she is alive, knowing the history between her and Sam, it would make sense if Sam ultimately ended up having a family with her. Then why wasn’t she mentioned? Why did Sam marry some unknown white, petite, able-bodied woman? This argument in keeping in mind that even if they couldn’t have brought the actress to act due to COVID-19, they could’ve still mentioned her if they wanted to (thing to note here: If they wanted to). However, how could an abled bodied warrior like Sam Winchester end up having a family with a differently-abled woman? Blasphemy.

The show managed to kill the gays, women, member of the black/Asian community, differently-abled people and everyone who did not fit into their white, male, heterosexual narrative and this is problematic. This is problematic because this is (was) a fictional show and they could’ve shown all this and still followed the storyline they wished to, but they purposely decided to not do that.

So yeah, fuck you Andrew Dabb, Robert Singer, Eric Kripe and anyone who had the power to change this narrative because you failed your audience, you failed your society and most importantly, you failed your own story.

[saras-almanac]

Sorry to bother you cause I know you only started posting about supernatural recently and seem to be having fun with it all, but how do you have fun with it after it’s just been so horribly ruined? Like what Misha just tweeted, it’s just really hurtful and ruined the show for me. What does it matter if people liked the Spanish dub it didn’t really harm anyone. And then for him to come out and not really get why we’re upset like the queer baiting and dean’s death.

(Part 2 from anon) for me it’s about the entire thing surrounding cas’s death and how it never ever came back up. And then dean dying the way that he did is really upsetting because like what was the point of his entire arc to just end this way? I don’t know I’m jsut really upset and I don’t want to be upset. I just want to have fun with this all. Don’t feel like you have to respond cause I know this isn’t really your thing now.

Never feel weird about talking to me. I don’t know if you follow me or maybe are a newer follower, but I’m mostly pretty chill (this week notwithstanding!) and I’m always willing to talk about pretty much anything. And I’m sorry if you’ve been waiting for a little bit and honestly, I’ve been off tumblr for like an hour so who knows what’s happened since you sent this! 

But firstly, never apologize for your feelings. Your feelings are completely valid, no matter what they are. You can’t control your feelings, only your reactions to those feelings. If you are not in a place to have fun with things because it hurts, that’s totally okay. For me, I honestly never expected anything destiel related cause I just am from... an older part of fandom that just assumed it was always only going to be in fanfics/fandom, so the fact that we got a Castiel love confession to Dean (which... honestly Cas you were not subtle and the only reason it was never picked up on is because Dean is an idiot), but that confession was way more than I’d ever thought we’d get. And honestly, I’m fairly far removed from the fandom in general, though it did pull me back because it was a huge part of my life for so long years ago. But likely because I had that mentality and am further removed I can just sort of laugh off a lot of this. 

Take what I say with a grain of salt. I’ve been having so much fun with the conspiracy theories and memes because I sort of just accepted what the show put in front of us, you know? I never really believed that there’s a giant CW conspiracy specifically designed to censor out destiel (but I could believe that they pressured the show itself to make the finale more Sam-centric to give Jared something more to do and hopefully lure viewers in for that Walker show). So for me, I just sort of accepted that this was what they chose to write and like it’s bad, on pretty much every front. (But the whole shitty writing of this entire finale is an entirely other post. But like... storywise, thematically, there just was literally nothing there. It felt like I was in the empty just waiting for anything to happen or matter but it was just me in the black void.) 

All that being said, you’re right that the Spanish dub didn’t hurt anyone and was just a fun thing, or perhaps even validating thing that there was at least something there to give the storyline a bit more weight. For me, Dean reciprocating Cas’s love in 1518 would not only have made the Empty coming to grab Cas more dramatic, but would also have given a built-in reason why Dean never brought up Cas again since he would feel incredibly guilty and heartbroken and just wouldn’t want to deal with it. (Literally, I could talk about the writing for 1000 years cause, Dean’s story just doesn’t exist in the finale and that’s honestly why I’m so upset. And on a season where the entire point was to fight against destiny and having free will to live the life they wanted... God I hate what they did to Dean.) 

And I think you’re right that a lot of people don’t quite get why so many people are upset and hurt by the finale, the treatment of Dean and Cas, and even the show itself seeming to act as though fans wanting closure on stories and characters that we care about is annoying or “too much.” But I think that’s a mistake they’re making because they see people being upset and have written every single upset person off as someone who’s only upset because destiel wasn’t canon-canon. And yeah, there are going to be people who are only upset because of that, but there’s way more people who are upset about the treatment of Dean and specifically his death, and Cas’s death just going completely uncommented on. And that’s where I think the biggest disconnect is. I think Misha’s trying to really explain where he’s coming from, but I don’t know. He just might not understand what the “bury your gays” trope really means or why it’s so harmful or hurtful. 

This is such a long rambling message and I’m super sorry for that. But basically, your feelings are completely valid. And you have every right to feel hurt or upset about feeling unheard. I wish I had better things to tell you than just your feelings are valid, but they are. And I think sometimes you just have to grieve a bit or be angry or, in my case, meme around in a tinfoil hat for a bit, cause it does make you feel better. And trust me, I’ve been where you are now with other fandoms (where’s my magicians’ people at? that season 4 finale literally made me depressed for days). But whatever you’re feeling, you can always come and talk to me.