#but also in his i cry myself to sleep every night era

[loveneversleepss]

Felix as Yandere

Genre: Yandere!Felix x princess!female reader, old royalty era, arranged marriage ish?, tragic romance, Felix saves reader, switch povs.

warnings: suicidal thoughts/actions, angst, stalking, obsession, killing, descriptions of blood/gore, smut(duh), nicknames (sweetheart,Angel,wife), unprotected sex, oral (fem rec).

About 7500 words, I'm so sorry😭

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"When I think of you, I have another reason to live."

How could it come to this? The one person who has never once shown a frown, is giving up on life. I will help you, make you happy.

~~

"My lord.." I'm awakened to the sound of my servant. My eyes open slowly, the blackness fading away. He bows to me, "Sorry for disturbing your slumber, my lord." I get up, sighing heavily, "It's alright. What is it?" He stands up straight now, bringing his hands together. I bring my hands to my face, rubbing my eyes as my eyes are blurry from sleep. At the edge of the bed, my silk sheets are on the verge of collapsing off the ledge. He clears his throat before he begins to speak, "Lord bahng summons you to the tea room."

I groan and throw my sheets back on top of me. Lord Bahng. Also know as Chan, my most dearest friend since I was a child. We met during a festival. It was dark and I was lost. I was running around looking for my father. He had told me to stay close but I wandered off, chasing after my wooden ball. Once I retrieved it, I found myself lost. No clue where I was. I bundled up in a corner and sobbed tragically. Next thing I knew, a figure appeared in front of me. It was him.

~~

“Why are you crying?” I looked up from my hands, which are covered in tears. A boy stands in front of me with the most curious look. He looks a few years older than me. He bends down to my level and smiles slightly. “It’s okay. I can help you.” He reaches out his hand, although I don’t move to grab onto it. He slowly retrieves it back, “what’s your name?” I sniffle softly as I try to gain the strength to mumble my name, “Felix..” I say barely audible, he tilts his head. “Chicken?” He furrows his brows at me. I shoot him a glare and a big smile appears on his lips. “It’s Felix!” I yell to him and stand up angrily.

He looks at the ground and picks up my ball. “Well.. hello, Felix. I’m Chan.” He holds out the ball to me. I grab it swiftly and turn away from him. I begin to walk but stop. I have no idea where I am. Maybe.. he can help. I turn back to him and he is still looking at me. I bring my head down, feeling embarrassed that I just lashed out at him and are about to ask for help. “Sorry, that wasn’t kind of me.” I apologize sincerely and he waves it off. “How about we go eat some sweets, hm?” I bite my bottom lip at his offer. Just then my tummy grumbles, it has been a while since I’ve last eaten. I nod my head and his arm swings around me. “We’re going to have fun.”

~~

After that, I’ve been in his debt. Always wanting to please him and his wishes. I truly owe him for that day. I never felt seen before. With him in my life, I truly gained a brother. Although at times, he is a pain. “My lord, please.” I ignore him and try to fall back into my dream.

The dream that occurs every night, that haunts me. It's always the same. I'm laying on my back, my vision is foggy. A woman appears above me, speaking so softly. So delicate. Her hands touch my face, tender and warm. She strokes my cheek. “Are you hurt?” Her voice is one of angels, I could listen to it all day. Her scent is of jasmine flowers. Her whole demeanor is something heavenly. Despite all this, her face I could never see clearly. That is what keeps me up, I could swear that this isn’t a dream. More like a memory.

A memory that is deep within me. That wants me to remember but I can’t. It pains me deeply. If I could only see her face. My problem would be solved. And if she lived in my world. I would search to the ends to find her. To make her mine. I know it sounds silly. But I think I may have loved her at one point.

A loud slam comes from within the room. Next thing, I’m thrown off the bed. I turn quickly to see the culprit to see Chan standing above me. “Why are you so lazy?” I groan and stand up on my feet. “Why must you always be up so early? Do you even sleep?” I respond back and flop on my bed again. He pulls me by my feet and drags me off the bed. “Come on, we have to leave soon.” I stay on the ground as I look at him in disgust. “Where to?”

He begins to drag me by my feet, walking me out to the hallway. “To find you a suitor.” My eyes widen and I kick away his hand. I stand up swiftly, “have you lost it?!” He sets his hands behind his back, “no. It’s about time that you find a betrothed.” I groan as I step away to find the kitchen. He follows closely behind, “you are of age now. You’re the richest in the country. Talented. Handsome. You have plenty of ladies lining up for you.” I ignore him as I order the servants to make me breakfast.

I sit down at the table, pulling the chair out and laying my head in my hands. Chan continues blabbering about a suitor, even though I drown him out. He sighs heavily, finally noticing I’m not listening, “look, I know that you don’t care. But you need to do this, for your father.” I grab the knife that is with the rest of the cutlery, “you’re lucky I’m not throwing this at your head right now.” He rolls his eyes and confines, “I know that you believe your are destined to be with that woman in your dream. But face the truth, she doesn’t exist.”

Maybe he is right. What if she doesn’t exist? That she is just a figment of my imagination. “It’s just that.. maybe if I encounter her. I would recognize her on the spot. That i could remember..” My expression saddens as does the rest of the room. “Listen. You have to to find a suitor. You are the head of the mansion. Your father always wanted to see you marry well. You have to fulfill his wish.” I roll my eyes. How could I forget that? It was his dying wish. Of course I have to grant it. But this doesn’t mean I have to forget about that woman.

He pats my back, “tonight, we are invited to banquet at the imperial palace.” I look at him not impressed. He groans loudly and steps back. “Don’t you know what this means?! You’ll get to see the crown princess perform.” I lean back in the chair as the servants come and set the food. He looks at me eagerly, awaiting my response. “I suppose that could be interesting. They say she’s the best dancer in the whole country.” He jumps in excitement, “that’s right! I’ll prepare the gifts.”

~~

All your life, you've felt empty. Like something was missing. You were always waiting for something. Although you didn't know what. You were taught from a young age to keep a smile on your face. To never let it fall. You were taught to be quiet and never speak up for yourself. You had to be the perfect easy child. Meanwhile your younger siblings had freedom to do whatever they wanted. But you could never say anything about it or how you felt. Because after all, how could the crown princess be upset?

Dancing was a way for you to get your mind off of things, Somehow dancing was something no one could get in the way in. Your body always knew what they were doing. How it worked to shape it into the move you wanted. Always letting your body lead and your mind go. Letting all your thoughts slip away. Quiet. You like quiet.

"Crown Princess. Your father invites you to go to the marketplace with him." Maybe a couple months ago, or even a year ago. You would be bursting with joy. But you're not. That's because whenever your father invites you out. It causes such a spectacle that you have to return home quickly. After all, you don't want to anger him. "I accept. help me get ready." "Yes, princess."

~

"How are you doing today, my child?" Your father asks you, fanning himself lightly. You shoot him a reassuring smile, "I feel happy. I'm performing today for you." His clothing waves softly in the wind, his hair looks smooth and well kept. He always looks so clean. After all, he is the king. "Do you know why I'm holding a banquet today?" His tone sounds indifferent, like his usual business talk when he's with lords and nobles. You look at him confused, "No, father. Why are you holding a banquet today?"

He stops in his tracks, "Shall we eat something?" You don't question his hesitation to answer. You know better than to do that. In time, he will tell you. There must be a reason why he wants to sit in a secluded place. "of course, I'm craving meat." You two follow after your servants. Everywhere you go, servants and guards always go too. For your protection of course. Even though you'd rather not have them stealing your oxygen. You feel as if you are suffocating at times.

Platters and platters of dishes are set in front of you. You wait until your father first takes a bite which takes about 20 minutes. Due to him being bothered by multiple lords greeting him. You don't take a bite, you instead take a sip of your water. After a couple minutes you find the courage to pop the question. "Father, why are you holding the banquet today?" He wipes his face and takes a sip of water. His eyebrows furrowed, as if he is nervous of what he is about to say.

"Well as you know, you've become of age.." No way. He wouldn't. How could he do this? You assume the worst to come.

"I've invited suitors for you. For you to get married." Your heart sinks to your stomach at his words. You place your hands on the table in disbelief. You get up swiftly, scaring your father slightly, "How could you do this to me?! I'm not ready for this. I refuse!" You let your words slip out of your mouth, not letting your mind think to stop them. "Watch your tongue!" Your father looks at you angrily, "You will. That's an order." You feel your emotions feel to leave you, guilt becoming you. Your gaze falls to the floor, your body is emotionless.

He gets up slowly, walking over to you. His hands place on your shoulders, attempting to soothe you. "I know this isn't what you want. But i'm getting old. I wish to see you marry well. Could you do this for me?" You nod your head yes, you plaster a smile on your face, "yes, father. I will do this for you."

~~

I arrive shortly to the palace, we all wait outside waiting for the doors to open. It seems as if all the nobles and lords have come. I wonder what for? Isn't this just an ordinary banquet. how peculiar.

The gates open and everyone immediately makes their way inside. Chan led the way as I analyzed the surroundings. How lucky it would be to live here. They have everything. The servants show us to a table, it's placed right in front of the stage. A perfect view to see the princess. After a couple minutes, I begin to grow bored. "I'm going to walk around." Chan begins to protest but I already left him.

"Please get down, i'm begging you." I notice a girl in a tree, she seems to be writing something. Her legs dangle from the tree, moving happily. "Oh, shush. I'll be down in a second." She has a cloth on her face, her eyes only being prominent. She giggles as I see a servant trying to persuade her to get down. Her clothing looks expensive, not the kind that should be climbing into trees. "Please, you have to get ready." She sighs heavily and begins to get up. Her foot slips and she goes tumbling down to the ground.

I ran over to her, "Are you alright?!" I reached my hand out to help her. She looks at it for a couple seconds, then decides not to take it. She gets up using her own strength. I bring my hand down, feeling slightly awkward that she refused me. "I'm fine." Her tone sounds annoyed, enough to send a tingle down my core. "I need to go." She mumbles as a servant follows after her. Who was that?

~

I walked back shortly after that. Chan grumbles about something but I ignore it as my thoughts cloud my mind. Who was that? Why was she climbing in a tree? She spoke so rudely to me. As if I was below her, her tone irritates me. I should've reminded her of her manners. I am the highest ranking lord in the country. How could she speak to me like that? Unless.. She's the crown princess. No way. The princess would have better manners. Although that would explain the servant and clothing.

Chan interrupts my thoughts, "It's starting!" He loudly whispers to me. My gaze turns to the stage in front of me. The lanterns start to dim softly. A soft melody plays from the harp, a woman appears. Her clothes are long and flowy, a perfect baby blue color. Her movements are soft and controlled. Mesmerizing. It's as if i never knew how to breathe before, and she is teaching me. Her eyes are heavenly, her lips perfectly plumed, her skin seems so soft and delicate. Her body chimes with her movements due to her crown and beads placed on her dress. A flock of birds are set into the air and they surround her. Circling around her and her movements.

A heavenly sight. She looks familiar.. It hits me. The girl from my dream. It's her! My head begins to feel foggy and I find myself breathing heavily. "Felix. Are you alright?" Chan whispers to me, placing a hand on my shoulder. I nod my head and took a sip of water to calm me down. I finally found her. Just then, the performance ends. She bows on the floor, her crown jiggles softly. The audience stands up and cheers for her. She smiles big at us, her father, the king appears. We immediately bow to him and he announces, "Greetings, my fellow lords. Today I've invited you for a reason. I am offering the crown princess hand in marriage." There is murmurs that surrounds us.

It hits me. This could be my chance to make myself known to her. "I will invite you one by one to introduce yourself. Please enjoy the festivities and food." They turn to leave as we bow again. It takes a while to get to me as I begin to grow annoyed. I'm about to wander around as a child appears in front of me. He is crying. He jumps into my arms as he sobs loudly. "I don't want to!" He yells, presumably to the servant who is standing here now. “Please, my prince.” My hands rub softly on his head as he pulls off my shoulder. Prince? This must be the third born prince, Daniel. He stares up at me with his big teary eyes, sniffles emerging from him. “It’s alright. Don’t be sad.”

He seems to calm down and sigh heavily. “What’s the matter, hm?” His tiny hands move to my face. “You have pretty scars.” He traces my cheeks. He means my freckles. I chuckle softly, “and you cute cheeks.” I squeeze his cheek softly. He groans and pours his lower lip. “I’m not a baby. I’m a grown man!” I smile again at his attempt of acting big. “Is that so? Then why are you crying? Adults share what they are feeling to feel better.” He fiddles with his fingers, “they were forcing me to go to bed.” He looks sad now, “I wanted my sister to read me to bed. She always reads me the stories she writes. But they said she’s busy.”

Now I get it. That’s why she was in the tree giggling about. She was writing a story for him. “How about I put you to bed, hm? I could read a story although mine won’t be as good as your sister.” He nods his head happily, a smile gleaming up at me. “Let’s go!” His little hand pulls onto my shirt as he leads me to his room. A figure stops us. “Daniel. What are you doing?” It’s the crown princess. He jumps into her arms and hugs her tightly. “Have you come to read me a story?” He asks eagerly. She shakes her head no and you can see his mood drop. “I’m busy tonight. I have to talk with, lord.. what’s your name?”

“Felix,” I take a step closer and bow. Daniel gets angry and hugs onto my leg. “No! You can’t have him. I found him first!” A figure appears from behind the princess. “Daniel! What are you doing out?” The king emerges from the shadows. I now to him and he shakes me off. “Get to bed right now!” Daniel quickly runs off and disappears. “Sorry about him. He’s still learning.” The crown princess explains. I nod my head, “it’s alright. It was a pleasure.” She’s different from earlier, her mood seems to be more calm, a smile soft on her lips. The servants invite me into a room due to its my turn. “How did you think of my daughter’s dance?” The king asks me as we sit down at a table. “Oh, it was the most heavenly thing I’ve set my eyes on. No one can compare to it. You really are talented, princess!”

“Everyone’s replaceable,” she says brightly. Not once letting the smile fall from her lips. “One day I will grow old and my beauty will fade. Then a new imperial performer will take my place.” She fans herself lightly, the beads on her dress jingle a wonderful tune softly. Her face seems to be stuck in a permanent smile, although her eyes seem to give her away. They look off. Deeply empty. Not a single thought behind them. But I notice at times they seem sad, on the verge of tears.

The king tries to explain his daughter’s words, “what she means is that once she marries, she hopes that her legacy will be carried on.” Her father shoots her an scolding look. She keeps the smile on her face as she pours me a cup to tea. “Daniel seems to be fond of you..” Her eyes are looking at the cup, then they shoot up to mine. A slight devious and twinkle shine in them. I smile softly, “he jumped into my arms and claimed he wasn’t being treated well. I was going to read him a story to help him sleep.” The king tilts his head slightly, “that’s odd. He usually doesn’t like strangers.” I nod my head and take a sip of the tea. It’s a familiar taste but there’s a slight alter to it. Like a splash of honey or cinnamon to make it sweet.

“Lord Felix, is it?” The king questions softly, his voice seems to be tired. From excessive talking all night. “Yes, my king.” He fiddles with a bead hanging from his belt. “You’re the son of the late Lord Lee, correct?” I nod my head yes once again, “correct.” He smiles softly, “you’re father and I were childhood friends. Did he ever tell you?” That’s odd. I would’ve remembered if my father told me something like that. You don’t casually be old friends with the king and not tell.

“No, he didn’t. I wasn’t close with my father,” I stutter a bit at the end. The reason being that my father trained me to become an assassin. Killing for his pleasure. I shut my eyes in embarrassment as I realize I may have shared too much. “Is that so? Why?” I glance over at the princess, her lips have fallen into a sullen upturned smile, almost unnatural. Her eyebrows furrowed softly as her eyes appear to be deeply stuck into mine. “I always had this pressure.. To be the best. I’m the only boy and have only younger sisters. I have to carry on the legacy.” My eyes widen and I bow quickly, “forgive me for oversharing, my king.”

He waves me off once again, “no need for that. I want to know more about you.” I lift my head up and smile softly. I take another sip of the tea, “Felix?” I nod my head in response. “Would you be interested in marrying my daughter?” I nearly spat out the tea. I’m shook at his words. “Oh, that wasn’t my intention.” He interrupts me, “well why not? You seem to get along well with my children. Plus it would do your father proud that you married well. I would be him a favor.” I seem to be not able to get away from my fathers grasp, even in death. “Forgive me, my king,” I set the cup down and it clicks. “I have to refuse, I don’t have intentions of marrying.” He pouts his lip out, like a sad toddler. “Well at least spend the night.” I nod my head, “I accept your invitation.”

~~

You walk slowly to your room. Servants following close behind you. Processing everything that has happened in the past few hours. Men throwing themselves at you. All for a marriage you don’t want. But it’s bizarre. A man actually dared to go against your father, the king. Lord Felix. He doesn’t interest you in the slightest but you can’t seem to get your mind off him. His looks are fairly attractive but something seems off. He has this aura that is.. dark. Like he’s hiding something.

You enter in your bedroom, but you don’t rest or begin to undress. You stare out the balcony, the moon looks dashing tonight. Accompanied by many stars. How it would be to leave the world on a night like this. “My princess, the tea you ordered.” Your hand maid calls you over as holds the tray. “Mm, lay it on the table please.” Your table looks out onto the balcony, perfect view of the night sky. You walk over and sit on the chair. You tidy up the table as you softly blow on the fresh, hot tea. Your hand maiden stands a few feet away from you also accompanied by 5 servants. You hate the feeling of having eyes on you, watching your every move.

“Leave us,” you command your servants, leaving you and your handmaiden alone. “Have you enjoyed the festivities?” You ask her, pouring your tea into your cup. “No, princess. I haven’t had the chance.” You look over your shoulder to her, she has her hands neatly placed in her lap. “Go, take the night off. I won’t be going anywhere anyways.” She bows her head strongly, “thank you, my princess. I’ll take my leave.” She silently walks away and you hear the shut of the door. You sigh heavily as you stare out into the night. You take the tiny bottle you’ve kept all night by your side. You pour it inside the cup. The colorless poison seeps into the tea.

You take a look around the room as you see nothing. Just as you wanted it. Destined to be alone, even in death. It may seem selfish, but this is your freedom. And it’s the only way you’re gonna get it. Although.. you wish you had one thing. You want to fall in love. Why can't you? When you are one of the people who is in love with the idea of love, desiring love more than anything? It feels like you're sitting in a glass box watching everyone going happily with their lovers but you're just there alone, under the moon light. Maybe you are meant to be alone..

“I’m sorry, Daniel.” You whisper as you bring the tea to your lips. You’re about to take a sip when the cup is knocked out of your hands.

~~

I knock the cup of poison out her hand. It rolls against the floor, the liquid seeping out of it. She looks angry to me, streams of tears on her cheeks. She makes a run for the terrace. She begins to climb on the edge as I run up to her. I embrace her in my arms and pull her away. She kicks and cries out, “let me go. I don’t wish to live anymore!”

“Stop this!” I yell as I hold her onto the ground. My arms wrapped around her to calm her down. She kicks and scratches but I don’t let her go. She calms down as I hear our breathings hard. I let go of her softly and she crawls a foot away from me. Her eyes are empty as her upper lip makes a movement upwards. Pure disgust.

“Hypocrite.” She grits her teeth. I look at her confused and she stares in complete disgust. “You should’ve let me die.” I shake my head at her words. How could she be like this? She never once let a smile off her face. Even when she was being insulted or insulting herself. Why would she be giving up on life? “No, you’re life is too important..” I try to console her but it doesn’t work. My throat feels as if it’s clogged.

“Why is it that my feelings don’t matter! Why do I always have to be the one that pushes it aside. That i can’t make mistakes or do something I want. Why is it always me?!” Her voice breaks during her last sentence. Tears begin to flow and she sobs loudly, her body shaking. My eyes soften at her words. “I just want to be free..” I slowly bring myself closer to her. Whispering a soft, "Breathe for me, okay?" Hugging her close, stroking the top of her head as she muffles out her cries in my clothing. "Deep breaths.." She stops after half an hour. She slowly moves away from me, her eyes red and puffy. She wipes her tears away.

“Thank you.. for staying with me.” She mumbles but I hear it clearly. I wipe away a leftover tear off her cheek, her eyes stare into mine. Appreciation. “Of course. I care about you,” her eyes flicker down to what I assume is my lips. Her hand comes up to my cheek now, grazing softly against my freckles. “You’re really pretty.” My eyes widen at her words, feeling hot on my ears and cheeks. Although i don’t pull away. “Felix?” I’m surprised she didn’t use manners in calling me lord but I nod in response. “Why did you come to my room?”

I quickly think of an excuse. I can’t tell her that I’ve been following her all night. That I was watching her this whole time and that’s why I came in a rush. Since I saw her in the tree. That is how I knew where her room was. And how to avoid all the servants and guards. Thankfully, I had a backup plan just in case. I lift up out of my pocket a jade bracelet, she looks down at her wrist where it is missing. “I found this and saw the name, y/n. I wanted to return it to you.”

“Thank you,” she smiles softly and reaches out her arm for me to slip the bracelet back on. I slowly slip it back on and the heavy weight of the bracelet makes it droop on her wrist. Her eyes slowly travel back up to mine, “you’ve helped me twice tonight.” I laugh softly, “although you didn’t want my help, remember?” She nods and smiles once again, this time it doesn’t seem fake, “I wish you did have an intention of marrying. You would be a good husband.” Her words make my heart begin to beat faster, it seems as if there is this warm, pink aura between us now.

“I should sleep. It’s getting late.” She gets up but I grab her wrist. “You won’t pull anything rash, right.” She nods her head slowly, “I promise.” I get up and bid her goodnight. I’m about to walk out the door and she runs to me. “Come back in the morning, sneak in.” I agree and leave to my room. Smiling happily. She’s mine now.

~~~

“Oh, you’re here.” It was a harsh mission to sneak I to her room. It seems more heavily guarded today. I had to slit some of their throats to keep it quiet. Stuffing them into a closet. Their blood stained my shoes so I had to run back to change them “Yes, how are you feeling today?” She grabs ahold of my hand and leads me to her bed. She sits down and pats the bed for me to sit beside her. “I’m feeling much better.. thanks to you.” I feel slightly nervous at her words. She’s really thankful for me.

~~

You think you’ve finally find the person you’ve been waiting for. Lord Felix. The aura you felt earlier is no longer there. You assumed wrong. He isn’t dark, but a kind and pure soul. You wish he was the one you were going to marry. I mean it doesn’t hurt to ask again. What’s the worst that’ll happen?

~~

“Felix, are you sure you don’t want to marry?” She softly whispers to me, her voice innocent, slightly scared of what I’m going to say.

“Well, I'm open to the idea. I just didn’t want it to be forced upon you. Your opinion matters.” I didn't realize how important my words were to her. Her eyes begin to tear up, “for the first time..” her voice begins to break, “i feel like I’m actually seen for once, heard.” Her hands are both placed on the sides of my face. She sighs happily, “Felix. I want to marry you.” I’m taken aback at her words. The woman from my dream is actually asking to marry me. I mumble a simple, “I want more than anything to make you happy.." I stand up and get on my knee in front of her.

Taking hold of her hand around mine, "If you want it, will you marry me, y/n?" She jumps into my arms, her grip strong, clinging onto me. She screams in excitement, "Yes! Yes! Of course I'll marry you!" I swing her around in my arms then gently let her on the ground. She stares up into my eyes, then she proceeds to jump into my arms again. Causing me to stumble back against the board of the bed. I fall onto my back as her body is on top of mine.

She pulls away giggling, “you’re mine now.” She mumbled softly. I almost didn’t hear it right. But I definitely understood it. She’s claiming me. "let me see your face," I whisper to her and she pulls away to look at me. My hand cups her face as she leans into my touch. I place a soft kiss to her cheek, her eyes widen. She quickly pulls off me and lands on her feet. I sat up to see what was wrong, to see that her face had turned visibly red.

"your brother is gonna kill me when he finds out." I joke with her and she lets a smile slip. "He apparently 'found me first'." She walks a little closer, "Well I met you first." Her expression is slightly annoyed. I chuckle lightly as she appears to be jealous. "Come here," I softly bring her by her waist. Her legs go to the side of my thighs, lightly sitting in my lap. Her face starts to become more red and she looks away. I turn her head back to me with her chin, "Am I making you nervous?" She nods her head slowly, "I get nervous looking at you." She reluctantly admits.

"This was never supposed to happen," I tilt my head to her in confusion. "What was?" She smiles as her finger softly traces my freckles once again, "Me falling for you." I smile and her finger goes over my lips, my bottom lip moving from her touch. It's so hard to resist. To resist myself not to take her right now. To have my lips on hers. To hear her little purrs of pleasure. My name falling off of her lips. Her body fits so perfectly in my hands. She was made for me.

"Kiss me, Felix." Her arms wrap around my neck, "Please." The look in her eyes is so hypnotizing. I grant her wish as our lips connect. Her lips are soft, like a pillow, melting into mine. My hand pulls her body closer to me, a soft grunt escapes from inside me. Her hands make their way into my hair, she softly tugs on it. I reluctantly pull away from her lips., our mouths still in close proximity. "Say stop and I will," I mumble against her lips. She shakes her head at me. "Keep going," she leans into my lips again.

Her body begins to rock against mine. The situation is starting to get more intense. My tongue softly slips into her mouth. Our tongues melt into each other, sharing our desire for each other. Passionate. I want this feeling to last forever. A small noise escapes her, my heart drops. So, this is how you sound. Your noises will be forever implanted in my mind. "We need to stop," I whisper as my lips trail wet kisses down her neck. "Don't stop," a short whimper leaves her lips as I softly nibbled on a spot. Her sweet spot. I continue to work on that spot, her hips dragging against mine.

"You're so beautiful," I mumble against her skin. Another sound leaves her with my praise. Do you like this? You like being praised? "I'm so lucky," I continue, her forehead falls into the crook of my neck. Causing me to stop my kisses. "My wife." She faces me again, her eyes so full of love. "What?" I question softly, she hugs me close to her. Eliminating all of the desire we had. "I'm so glad I found you." I smile brightly as she looks at me once again.

"Now the hard part.." She takes a heavy sigh, "telling my father and my brother." I laughed and nod my head. "I can handle that."

~~

“That does sound like Chan.” Felix laughs as he brings a cup of tea to his lips. We're currently discussing the last arrangements for the wedding, although your father keeps bringing up memories of the past. The big day is tomorrow. Felix is practically glowing. A cheeky smile on his lips, occasional looks in your direction. Although, you pretend not to notice. "Are you excited?" Your father asks Felix. He nods his head and replies, "How could I not be? I'm marrying the love of my life." You assumed he was looking at the table through the corner of your eye as you heard his words.

But he isn’t looking at the table. You can now feel his gaze toward the side of your face. You glance up to meet his eye, your insides turning to mush and butterflies roaming around. You shyly look away. Your father chuckles softly, "that's what I like to hear." He brings his cup to his lips and takes a sip. "I'm so glad you two are marrying. I couldn't imagine anyone better than you for my daughter." He smiles as he bows, "I thank you for accepting me." He makes eye contact with you once again and he winks. Causing a smile to appear on your lips.

~

You're back in your room, sleep is not on your mind. You stare out on the balcony, admiring the room. "You're supposed to be in bed." You hear a voice say to you, immediately recognizing Felix's voice. "Couldn't sleep," His arms wrap around your waist. His head nuzzles into the crook of your neck, "me either." Every other night, Felix sneaks into your room. It's the usual for you two, to either talk or fall asleep holding each other. "It's bad luck to see the bride before the wedding," you turn to look at him. "Hm, wedding's tomorrow." He holds you close, placing a kiss to your lips. You haven't had a kiss in a while, not one even close to the first time you two shared a kiss from that morning. You desire a kiss like that again.

"What is it?" He holds your cheek, forcing you to look at him. You respond after thinking about what to say for a couple seconds, "I crave you, Lix." This isn't the first time you called him Lix. A nickname that had stuck after that morning, after you had breakfast with him. You notice his eyes widen a bit and he looks down. "We shouldn't," he shakes his head. Although, you can clearly tell he wants to. "I'll be your bride tomorrow, It won't matter," You try to convince him. "Please," you say softly, it feels as if you've been defeated. "You're my everything, my Angel."

His hands lift you up, one hand tucked under your legs and one on your back. Your hands quickly wrap around his neck. He sits you on your table, his eyes looking deeply into yours. "Are you sure you want to do this?" You nod your head quickly. "Words, angel." You whisper a soft, "I want to do this. I want you." He quickly moves his lips onto yours. He slides you to the edge of the table, his body closer to yours. Your legs opened as he set himself there. Your lips moving fast together, your body begins to burn with desire.

Your hands tangle into his hair, he softly grunts in your mouth. His hands roam around your body, not knowing where to touch. His hand sets on the bow holding your dress together. He pulls it off softly and it lands on the table slowly. Your dress begins to slowly slip off your body. His mouth moves onto your exposed skin, nibbling along your collarbones slowly. His body grinds against yours, making butterflies appear. Your groin aches with desire, desperately wanting to be touched. Small and short whimpers leave your mouth.

His hand traces along your leg, slowly creeping up. It reaches your inner thigh and he caresses it teasingly. "touch me," you begged him. "Please.." His hand grabs ahold of your undergarment as he slides it down. It falls on the floor and he's reaching to pull your dress off. He stops beforehand, "Can I?" You nod your head, your head feels cloudy with lust. He pulls your dress off of you and it lays underneath you. Your body on full display now for him. He groans at sight as he leans down to meet your below. He licks a strip up as your body reacts heavily. A gasp leaves you as he does it again.

A sharp spark hits you as he grazes upon something. A new sweet spot of yours. He begins to suck there and your body trembles. It feels so good. His tongue and mouth move along as you cover your mouth. Noises and whimpers leaving you like crazy. You feel his finger enter inside you as your eyes roll to the back of your head. Your back begins to arch as the pleasure is becoming immense. Your hips roll along his finger as you feel another add in. You feel this knot in your lower tummy as the pleasure increases. You beg him to keep going and the knot unravels. Your body shaking crazily and the feeling addicting. You feel a liquid seeping out of you.

Felix comes up to your face as he kisses you. You can taste yourself along his lips. You grip against his clothes, "n-not fair." You stuttered at your slightly weak state. He chuckles softly as he begins to pull his clothes off. Once his shirt leaves his body, you see how fit he is. The sight is so mesmerizing. You softly run your hands along his body. He pulls you to sit up as you're at the edge of the table again. "This might hurt a bit." You nod your head in understanding. You didn't even realize that he had fully stripped already. He slowly edges inside you. Your mouth falls agape at the feeling of him stretching you out.

His head falls into the crook of your neck, trying his best to resist thrusting. When you're ready, you tell him. He pulls almost all the way out and pushes back inside of you. A moan escapes as the feeling is superior. He begins a steady pace as your fingernails dig into his skin. Encouraging him to keep going. He hisses as he can feel you tightly clenching around him. "God, you feel so good." His head falls back, pure bliss on his face. The knot forms again but you try to hold out for him. Your back arches as your lips attach together. Pure tongue and lust. He knows you're holding out for him, so he starts to rub circles around your sweet spot. You whimper in his mouth and you have to pull away to breathe.

The sounds of your skin slapping together and the lewd noises of your bodies are so manipulative. You want to do this forever. The knot threatens to rip as your mouth produces screams of Felix's name. Finally it breaks as your body trembles once again. It causes Felix to finish as well. His hand places on the table to hold you two up. You both stay there as you try to get your breathing controlled. "We need to do this again," you giggle out and he smiles.

Your hands cup his face, "I love you." His eyes soften and he kisses your swollen lips. He mumbles, "I love you more," against your lips.

~~

Your maids are setting the finishing pieces to your wedding gown as you admire yourself in the mirror. They finish and you order them to leave. You can't believe this. Finally, the day has come.

You hear footsteps approaching from behind you and you assume it’s your brother coming to call you. You turn to see a man in all black. A mask covers his face completely. “Felix?” The man charges at you and next thing you know. A blade is struck into your stomach. You tumble backwards into the table. Causing glass to fall down and shatter. The assassin leaves through the balcony and your body falls to the ground. Your brother comes running into the room with multiple servants.

They call out for help and for a doctor. Your family runs into the room. Then you see him, Felix. He runs to you, dressed in his groom attire. You smile at him as a tear falls down your cheek, he hugs you close to your body. “This is all my fault,” his voice breaks as tears appear in his eyes. You stroke his cheek, smearing your blood onto him. “It’s not your fault.” You say weakly, blood begins to fill your mouth. It seeps down from your lips.

“Live for me. Live for the both of us,” he begs, tears fall down uncontrollably. “I need you here. Please don’t leave me!” Your lip quivers as your hear his pleas. “You have to let me go.” He sobs so loud now, “I don’t want to let you go!” Your hands reach up to his lips, forcing his lips into a smile. “Don’t be sad.” Your eyes feel heavy. “Kiss me, one more time.” He grants your wish as he places a kiss onto yours. Blood now staining his lips. “I love you, Felix.”

Your eyes close, the memory of Felix staying. Your life flashes. All the memories flood all at once. The most memorable were the ones with Felix. You feel yourself smile and let go. Goodbye, Felix. In another life, my love.

~~~~

A/N~ can you Guess who the killer was?

[ha1taniwh0re]

There treasure

Im in my Pirates of the Caribbean era so my handsome captain will get the first story on this blog

"what is your name miss?? Barbossa asked.

"Carina Smyth sir" she said.

"Smyth??" Jack said.

"Yes? Why are so suprised?" Carina asked.

"Is your mother alive miss Smyth??" Gibs asked.

"She is, you can meet her when we get to land, we are on way to my home" Carina said.

Barbossa, Jack and Gibs just nodded and went there way.

"Could it be (name)'s child? When was the last time you saw her Barbossa?" Jack asked.

"19 years ago...." Barbossa said.

After only 30minutes they were on land. Carina saw you standing there and waiting. Still looking so young and beautiful.

"MOM!!" Carina yelled and ran to you.

Barbossa, Jack and Gibs followed Carina because they want to meet her mother.

"Still young and beautiful, what are you a witch??" Carina joked.

"Only an ex pirate my dear" you said.

You saw someone walking towards you two but when you saw 3 familiar mans you forgot how to breathe.

"Hector....."

He was the only one you wanted to see for so many years.

"You know him?" Carina said.

"I know them all my love. I sailed with them" you said.

"WHAT?!"

"(name) Did you sleep with someone else 19 years ago?" Barbossa said.

"What is that question?" Carina asked.

"Carina my love... Do you remember a story about your father?" You asked.

"Well you said he was a pirate just like you, a captain to be more clear. You loved him but as you know he is dead because someone attacked your guys ship. Why....?" Carina asked.

Teras started falling down your face.

"Im sorry sweetie but I didn't know if he was dead or alive... I couldn't just sail with you as newborn baby. How can i feed you when i sail with 20 pirates. How can I find a clothes for you, you will grow up one day and i dont have money to buy clothes for you every month. Also I didn't want you to die on sea you would be just too young" you said.

"YOU COULD GO SAILING. YOU WOULD ALWAYS LEFT ME WITH ANALISSE. REMEMBER YOU WOULD GET HOME DRUNK AND WOULD FIND ME ALREADY ASLEEP."

"WOULD YOU BE MORE HAPPY THAT I DID WENT SAILING TRYING TO FIND YOUR FATHER? WOULD YOU BE MORE HAPPY IF YOU GREW UP WITH NONE OF YOUR PARENTS?! I WOULD ALWAYS GET HOME DRUNK BUT I GET TO YOUR BED SINGING YOU A SONG SO YOU WOULDN'T BE AFRAID OF DARK LIKE YOU ALWAYS TOLD ME. BECAUSE I WOULD GET DRUNK THAT NIGHT IN THE MORNING MY HEAD WOULD HURT LIKE HELL BUT I WOULD PRETEND LIKE NOTHING BOTTERS ME JUST TO HELP YOU HAVE A GOOD LIFE. I COULDN'T JUST FORGET ABOUT YOUR FATHER CARINA HE IS THE ONLY ONE I EVER LOVED AND I STILL LOVE"

"Why are you talking like he is alive?! Is one of them my father?!" Carina asked.

"YES CARINA HECTOR IS YOUR FUCKING FATHER ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!" You asked and went to house.

Barbossa and Carina were just looking at eachother and just hugged.

"I didn't want to make her mad... Im sorry" she said.

"I know but you need to say that to her treasure" he said.

They all went to your house. You were in kitchen sitting with your head in your hands crying.

"Mom.. Im sorry I didn't want to make you cry and im sorry for saying about you being drunk while i was a kid" Carina said.

You raised your head but didn't look at them.

"No, you are right. My love towards Hector wasn't a valid reason for leaving you every night just so I can go and blaming myself for leaving your father that day on ship" you said and stand up.

"I don't know if you still love me Hector but it would be great to spend some time with your daughter. If she wants she can go sail with you.... But promise me you will give her back sometimes.... She is the only thing I have left from you.." you said.

Barbossa didn't say a word he was looking at you and started walking towards you.

"You said earlier you still love me??" He asked.

"Yes, I have never stopped loving you" you said and put your hand on his face.

"But look at you... You are still young and beautiful and im just a old pirate" he said and chuckled.

"Heyy don't say tha-"

You didn't finish your sentence because he kissed you.

"Let's sail together again but now with our treasurer" he said and you both looked at your daughter.

She smiled at you two and ran to hug you both.

"Well now that we did this and have there happy ending LET'S MARRY YOU SO WE CAN HAVE A PARTY" Jack said and you only laughed.

[paperstorm]

Andie I have a very serious and important question for you. what the fuck are you putting in your fics???? It is currently 3:44am and I've been up since 8 but what am I doing? Crying as I read the end of Magnetic North that's what

The thing about me and sports fics is that I know absolutely nothing about sports except for 1 of them so usually they end up in my "Marked for later" for a while. But this is like the third time I've read a sports fic after putting it off to immediately questioning every decision I have ever made

I binged this fic like a fucking maniac but there was a logical part of me that was like "please...the assignment you've been procrastinating for 2 weeks is due tomorrow..." so I forced myself to put it down and go to sleep. That was yesterday. I brought my work with me from downstairs at 1am because "if I'm not gonna be able to sleep might as well finish this and then read Magnetic North the rest of the night" WELL I JUST FINISHED THE FIC AND I'M LITERALLY TRYING TO MAKE SENSE OF MY THOUGHTS AND IT IS NOT WORKING-

Coherency...I know how to do that yes. Starting and ending it with Marjan's article was SUCH a nice touch I loved the way she wrote about them!

Also everyone who has ever been mean to TK can line up in an abandoned parking lot...You don't hurt my boy <3 :) . HIS GROWTH??? THAT'S MY POOKIE I'M SO FUCKING PROUD OF HIM??? Picking him up and parting his head as we speak. No but seriously he's so awesome and he's been hurt so much but all he really wants is love 😭. NOW YOU GET TO HAVE SO MUCH OF IT BABY!!! Watching him slowly accept the love and care from others was beautiful. I fucking love fics where a character heals. HIM CHOOSING HIMSELF HELL YEAH YOU GOT THIS! Carlos saying how TK looked healthier and Marjan too!! YES MY BOY IS IN HIS LOVER ERA AND I'M SO SO HERE FOR IT! I am starting to sound like a broken record but he genuinely fills me with so much pride and he's not even real 😭. THE REHABILITATION CENTER!! and he named it after Gwen...I'm so okay about this...

Carlos...where do I even start. I need to hug him let's start there. It broke my heart so badly when he didn't even get the chance to come out on his own terms. That is such a real fear and I honestly saw a part of myself in it. The "questioning everything you do in case someone suspects" If I ever find out who that photographer was...Gabriel won't be the only one who will need an alibi 🩷 NO OF COURSE I'm not bringing knives now that would be absurd wouldn't it? /sarc. He deserves all the love and acceptance actually. I loved the scene where he goes to the ranch after he was outed it was so healing for both Carlos and I actually that's my projection guy ✌️💕. Jkjk. TK commenting how much happier and freer Carlos was...sobbing into my pillow oh my god I'm so proud of him. AND HE WON THAT BIG CHAMPIONSHIP WHATEVER I TOLD YOU IDK SPORTS!

These fuckers got engaged what the fuck is wrong with them I hate them so much no I'm not crying! /lh. The kiss at the parade oh my god I will literally never ever recover from this fic Andie you have broken me. I will never once again be a normal human. I still think about The Firehouse like 23 times a day now Magnetic North will join too

So I did actually end up watching some random hockey highlights so I would have some idea as to what's going on and also oh you used real team players that's cool!! Did not know those people existed in real life but good to know. Now I can say I've read fanfiction with NHL players /j. Okay but srsly the team was absolutely AMAZING!! The way they're all such a family! How supportive they were of Tarlos! Kissing them all on the head (the fictional ones idk about the real ones)!

Okay WOW this got long. There's a reason I typed this in my notes app first. Imma attach my real time reaction to the parking lot kiss here

I am in the car (love being a gay) and I just read the parking lot kiss and my anxiety SPIKED because I was like "no no no they're gonna get outed oh my god NOOOO" TEARS IN MY EYES READING NANCY CALLING THEM UP AND TELLING THEM TO CHECK TWITTER!!! I want that photographer to meet me in an abandoned lot...NO I'M NOT BRINGING KNIVES WHY WOULD YOU EVEN INSINUATE THAT- /sarc (last part)

I have a question! You must be really familiar with Hockey to write this fic. Do you play? /gen

Okay now I will sleep because I'm genuinely very tired. If this doesn't make sense blame it on the fact that I've been up for way too long. I loved this fic Andie, like and insane amount. It's all so beautiful and well rounded and I was so enthralled by it, it's crazy. Thank you for this fic, you're awesome!

All the tone tags I used: (I just have really bad anxiety and don't want anything to be misinterpreted so!)

/sarc: sarcasm

/lh: light-hearted

/j: joking

/gen: genuine

I am a little bit speechless about this 🥺🥺 thank you so so so much, I’m so happy you liked it!! Thank you for taking the time to send this to me, I’m swooning 🤩 and I played a lot of street hockey as a kid but never was on a team or anything, I just watch it a lot!

[lyuniephantasy]

a year ago

if i woke my self from 365 days ago up and told her all of these, she’d just look at me with confused eyes. where that tattoo on my arm came from, why sanremo is more important than eurovision for me now, how i got get this glow up, who the fuck alessandro and riccardo are, what the heck this thing i call brividi is and associate with diamonds, pearls, and bikes, how i am going to italy for 1/2 of that thing this summer, how i met my best online friends, how all of these happened… little does she know…

it was the last saturday of my midterm holiday and i was like “oh god tonight we have sanremo right? maybe i can watch it.” and made my preparations for the night (buying a couple of packs of snacks for the whole evening, energizing enough to stay up until 6 am, having a nice dinner etc etc) i don’t remember what i ate tho. i just remember where i was sitting in the table and how i persuaded my parents to stay up with me - but they left to sleep after the sevent song and the magic started… the magic started at the fifteenth song. there was a so beautiful boy, out of this world, he was making magic up there in the stage. he was next to mahmood, an artist i had known before thanks to eurovision. i was just about to celebrate his comeback but there was this boy with him called “blanco”, white in spanish, wearing all white, just like a “higher era” boy for me - that i was so longing for, with that trancing beauty, that magical deep voice, and the song he sang whith mahmood.

the song was what made me bring the memory of my first love back. it was 2019, i had just started high school and there was a boy in my class. the tall blonde boy with the character in my imaginary - it was so real for me back then. but i realized it was all my imaginary later on in the pandemic. anyways, i loved this guy so much. i was always taking my guard (staying next to him everywhere i can) to talk to him and tell about my feelings and also to feel safe for a bit. because his shoulders were there on that bus we took to get back home after that one earthquake in september 2019. anyways we had so much memories in our first six months at school anfd then a global pandemic seperated us and told us to go home. and never get out for a while. during that times, the big flower in my heart slowly started to fade.

two weeks before brividi’s release. i sat opposite to a young looking pretty woman who said me that she’s going to embrace me. with that faded flower and so much pain in my heart. i cried it out. i talked about that flower.

“let’s revive it.”

then two boys from italy came to give the first drops of water to that newly wakening flower. the flower is now put away somewhere in my heart but it’s always living and will always do. thanks to the that two boys that watered them, and later introduced themselves as “alessandro” and “riccardo” and did so more job in this garden, my heart, than just helping me revive the flower of the first love. they helped me love myself as well, they allied with that woman whose opposite chair i was sitting and crying out for weeks, months, and slowly started to heal me. they made me move on for my life, reminded me that this life is mine and i should be no sad anymore because of things and people who don’t even know about my existence, make all my past selves proud with everything i accomplish, live on. and just live it like this.

thank you mahmood and blanco, or should i refer as alessandro and riccardo, for everything. for all the memories. for all the glow-up. for all the magic. for all the amazing people i met on this rollercoaster. for all of the positive emotions you give me even in desperate times. for all the telepathic hugs when i was crying alone every night on my bed. for the motivation to get up on every day i wake up to the dark. for whispering life on a diamond bike to that beloved dead flower. for making me embrace all of my past, present and my future. for literally everything.

let’s ride on our diamond bikes of life to the sky full of pearls. let’s sing forever, let’s love forever 🚲

vi voglio bene 💎

[xoteajays]

My problem with sleeping? Everyone and everything's just so fucking noisy. My family, my neighbors, animals. So much noise is preventing me from actually sleeping. I'd have neighbors would have loud parties almost every night with horrible music. Or during the day would be all the neighbors driving around, loud music, mowing the law, even dogs barking. Noise. No matter what happens any time, I really can't sleep.

I'm surprised that I haven't murdered anyone yet. They're just so loud.

Humans need to stop existing now.

~

The scene with the Redrum drug was vague.. I'll have to pay attention next time I rewatch H&L again. Especially the show, since the show is probably where I remember that scene. I remember the drug as being a red powder. So either eating it, snorting it, consuming it that way.

Slight spoiler from Worst movie, "Kidra specialized in creating and selling a drug called Redrum, which can make the user feel painless."

If that version of the Redrum drug is anything like the original drug, it would be a drug that makes you feel painless. Don't know how that is.

Or! At the very least. Did one short season, like an epilogue season, to officially wrap up more story. In my opinion. Just to see most of these characters one last time, and to officially give them a better ending.

But I might be selfish in saying that though, not that it would happen.

The inside of the gambling business is interesting because that place seems like a legitimate business. Even though it's obviously not that.

And Hyuga's carelessly sitting on his car, not caring if he falls off, also gets run over too while they're at it. Seriously, Hyuga? What the fuck.

And Rocky's shiny grilled teeth!

Don't forget about stripper Rocky too.

I know, I know.. I'm getting ahead of myself again. Like I always do.

I might possibly write for Alice In Borderland (if and when I'm actually writing for once). At least for the first two seasons but not sure about season three yet since who knows what might happened with that.

But I did tell you before. I'm just an overly detailed person whenever it comes to my work. Including details that most people never care for. I have always been like this.. Why do you think my characters are really overly detailed with any and every detail you could think of for them.

I'm always prepared.

Because I'm always doing too much research about everything you're able to think of. That most people have no interest in. My head hurts.

~

Not surprised. Usually the higher up bosses would know about that in shows and movies like this. Well.. They should since they were they're the ones to give the character that job. But I wish his wife knew about it. At least for safety reasons. But then again, it seems like she's really emotionally attached to her ex though (or what their relationship is).

I haven't met aither man yet... But some small part of me may want to fuck one or even both of them. Especially mafia guy. Don't judge me. I am a person who has a type with criminal men. Like there is Tommy, Rocky, Vincenzo, maybe even this guy too. I don't know yet. But I just have to say they are the beauty, brains and brawn with a lot of wealth.

Ignore me.

So I can't blame her.

Imagine wanting to be with a fictional character, yet realizing you just weren't born in the era that the story takes place in. Seems so funny.

I can "take abuse quietly" for the most part. If you ever met my family, you would understand that. But, in general, how I would act and react in situations does depend on everything. The situation. The person or people involved. What might cause me to react negatively toward the people. Usually I walk away if I can. But if I'm at that breaking point in these situations, I will snap out at people. Doesn't matter who it is.

But.. I think there was only a couple times that I've cried out in public, mostly because I was so overwhelmed that I had a mental breakdown type of crying. But that was because my anxiety was worse back then though, now my anxiety is controlled better in any of those situations.

I don't mind drinking wine every once in a while but it depends on the brand I'm drinking because there are some brands that I've just never liked that taste of. But in general, I'd usually tend to prefer more fruity cocktails that have a lot of alcohol but doesn't taste like alcohol (if the drinks are mixed right). Sometimes long island iced teas too. I am not fond of beer. Never had brandy, cognac, whiskey or even tequila so I'd rather not comment on those drinks. And hate vodka. That I know of.

I've never drank so much alcohol that I would get myself sick like this, I've never done that in my entire life. And I'd never intend that either.

We have those buildings here in America. Where there would be quite a few businesses in one building, depending on which business are in those buildings. But yeah.. We have businesses like that here too.

I'm only alternating with shows and movies right now, because of this season. Because most of the horror shows and movies usually end up removed after Halloween. So I'm watching what I can now before that happens. But that would only happen with certain channels though.

oh god neighbours can be the worst. i had my neighbours - who are right next to my bedroom window - partying loud enough for my parents on the other side of our house to hear until like 2-3am, which was when my mum went out to tell them to take their party inside. like okay it was a weekend, but cmon! you’re in an area where the houses are very close together! it’s bad enough dealing with their constantly barking dog. even my two dogs don’t bark as much combined as their single dog does.

~

was that in the first movie or the second? i watched the first worst movie - apparently i just completely forgot how the bad guys in that took the drugs before the big finale fight.

yea like a short series just to tie up the last loose ends. murayama got a solid ending to his arc, what about the rest of the leaders?

like he has no grip on the top of that car. the driver’s gonna take one corner too fast and hyuga’s just gonna go sliding right off. how does he not already have gravel rash?

i’ve enjoyed writing for aib. i really like coming up with the games. it’ll be fun to write up a new set for the next season, i’m assuming they’ll be playing new games since it seems like a rip to just do the ones they’ve already done, but i haven’t read the retry manga so i don’t know.

~

the wife knows now and i think they’ve got a more open line of contact since the cop just got a cellphone. she’s not overly attached to the gang boss, she apparently hasn’t seen him since they were teenagers. he is very hung up on her though. idk if they dated as teens, but he was very obvious about his crush on her.

i’m a fan of cocktails too, but it’s hard to find ones i like that don’t have vodka in them. even just one mixed drink of vodka can upset my stomach. i also fucking hate beer. the taste is just bad. i can sip wine every once in a while but i refuse to drink beer. i’m preferable rum, whiskey, alcoholic ciders or ginger beer. i’ve tried tequila in the past, but it’s not really for me.

it’s an australian right of passage to get knock out drunk when you turn 18 or sometimes 16! you get a bunch of your friends, hang out at one of their houses, and fuck it up with a bunch of disgusting mixed drinks until you throw up or pass out!

i’ve finished all 3 episodes of worst of evil now, so i have to wait til tomorrow or the day after for the next episode. so i guess i’ve got time to go back to the vincenzo episode i stopped in the middle of. or watch double mints, because it looks interesting, has a bunch of actors i know in it, and it’s gay and the two male leads are like. kinda awful to each other. i do enjoy the occasional fucked up ‘’‘romance’‘’.

[thedriftedheart]

Core

Ang bilis lumipas ng oras, mamamalayan mo na lang isang araw na naman ang lilipas..

8:44 AM  : I felt the room as it slowly shake, an earthquake.. And while the people are on panic and telling everyone to go out of the bldg., I stayed in my room. Pero yung pakiramdam kanina habang hinihintay ko matapos ang mahinang pag-uga ng lupa, naisip ko, we really never know what will happen next, what will happen to us, really.. The earthquake lasted for more than just a minute I think, mas ramdam at mas matagal sya compared sa mga past occurences. 3 other neighbour countries felt it too.. I can't even think when the wrath of mother nature comes to human race..

I started the day at 4am, not because of broken sleep but of a dream. Just one of those random dreams that seems no significant meaning, I guess.. In that dream I was talking to a man, his physical appearance, from his shoulder-length hair to his white cassock is like an image of those from Christ era, but I know he's not Jesus coz I clearly saw his face, not that we knew the face of Christ, but no one can ever see the face of the Most Holy One. But now that I think about it, I can't exactly recall now the man's facial features, but I know in that dream and as soon as I woke up, I vividly remembered his face and he's someone I haven't met. The man was sitting on a big rock and I was standing in front of him, it's like I'm seeing myself standing there while having a conversation to the man, but I can't hear what we're talking, I can't even hear myself. And after a long talk and seems like an argument, I started crying, hard.. I woke up crying, still sobbing and tears running down my face. Still feeling a heavy heart, I wipe it off and grab a glass of water.

It's too early yet it's too late to go back to bed, and I remember I haven't send a congratulation to my fave. I was too occupied last night with different things until it doze me off to sleep. So I grab my phone, opened the dc and drop there my message for him, it's where I can possibly send encouragement and appreciation to him. Pero mabasa man nya o hindi, I'm just so happy for him and his group on their new endorsement. Nakakatuwa that their names are being recognized, and this time even by respected business tycoon, and that says a lot! And I hope maalagaan sila ng maayos ng comp. nila with the aid of their fans, both need each other to step up the game and reach every new goal. They also performed at their contract signing event, and as how they always are, they are enthusiastic on stage. Isa sa iconic part ng viral song nila na yun is yung sabay sabay nilang parang pag-bounce, sayang nga lang hindi na tumalon si Tin sa part na yun, and my fave, minsan yung mga short part nya ang mas nagkakaroon ng impact sa overall performance nila, m just always so proud of him. May upcoming concert nga pala sila along with other brand ambassadors ng isang ini-endorse nilang brand, pinaka makabuluhan na promotion nila at ng endorsed brand, so far, I think. Too bad the ticket is not for public selling, wala ring live streaming, no way for me to see their live performance, ang hirap kumuha ng ticket, and the fans are ready to spend their time on a long queue na ni hindi mo sigurado kung aabot ka. But I'm happy sa mga nangyayari, it's a blessings. And it's a wow, ako nga na kelan lang nila naging fan, nao-overwhelmed sa mga achievements nila, naisip ko, ganun pa rin kaya ang pakiramdam ng fave ko - like how he was so amaze seeing the crowd gathered to see them at that mall event. It's one of those old videos I binge-watched when I was checking on them, utterly bewildered face, kita mo dun sa kanya habang tinitingnan paikot sa kanila ang audience..

And now, yung response ng fans sa mga events nila, impressive lagi. They always bring huge crowd, participants, sa mga events, mas maraming company and business/brand marketing ang makakakita sa influence nila, masasabi mo na malayo na talaga ang narating nila. And they remain humble despite the fame, kaya mas lalo silang nabi-blessed, and may they stay grounded no matter how high they soar. So much blessings are pouring, and may it overflow continuously.

Sana maging maganda ang maghapon mo, at maganap lahat ng plano ayon sa puso mo, as long as it's for the goodness' sake. Mag-iingat ka rin sana lagi my fave, there are things beyond our control and so I plea that may you always be protected. I hope you know how lovable you are, that you're worthy to be loved, and you deserve to receive all the love and care. At sana mas maramdaman mo pa lalo ngayon sa dami na ng nagmamahal sayo. My fave, punong-puno na naman ang puso ko, of things all about you. I love you, always. I can only wish for your wellness, but I hope you'll always take care of yourself, your health as I always wish, and let your self fairly live the life you deserve.

July 27, 2022 12:43 PM 

______________________

[lovecanyon]

pls do a band!y/n post for a stadium show

INSTAGRAM BLURB

harry x band!y/n

MASTERLIST | PATREON

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liked by harryfan2, harryfan5 and 510,733 others

harryflorals HARRY AND Y/N IN MANCHESTER YESTERDAY!

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harryfan4 stop it please

harryfan6 CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP

harryfan8 she’s living the life and she knows it 😭

harryfan3 they are literally so cute, i love them together

harryfan10 right?! harry seems so happy with her!!!

harryfan7 the way they are grabbing onto each other

harryfan9 i have ascended

harryfan11 just them kissing makes everyone go insane

harryfan13 exactly…like don’t they have a child together?

liked by harryfan12, harryfan14 and 610,972 others

ynupdates Y/N and Harry today! via deuxmoi

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harryfan15 when will it be my turn 💔

harryfan17 Y/N IS TOUCHING HARRY’S NOSE I’M CRYING

harryfan19 this makes me wanna scream

harryfan16 they guy in the background is literally me right now

harryfan18 harry and y/n were with the band omg 🫶

harryfan20 just y/n’s presence makes the world collapse

harryfan22 they are literally soulmates…😭

harryfan25 oh congratulations *cries*

liked by harryfan21, harryfan23 and 718,420 others

loveontournews Y/N on stage tonight.

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harryfan24 oh my god she’s so pretty

hrryfan26 EVERYONE DIED

harryfan28 i don’t know if i wanna be her or be with her…

harryfan25 *faints*

harryfan27 y/n has done it again 😭

harryfan29 SHE’S SANG MATILDA AND IS SINGING LATE NIGHT TALKING RIGHT NOW!

harryfan31 what?!? i will cry

harryfan33 harry letting her sing is so iconic of him

harryfan30 y/n supremacy

liked by harryfan32, harryfan34 and 909,711 others

stylesdaily Y/N SANG MATILDA AND LATE NIGHT TALKING TONIGHT!

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harryfan35 going feral for her

harryfan37 SHE LITERALLY HAS HARRY’S RING ON!!!! 😭

harryfan39 i would write two albums about her too

harryfan36 imagine being in harry styles band and also have his child…

harryfan40 y/n is the moment

harryfan42 the way the crowd cheered for her more than harry

harryfan45 she’s so true for that

harryfan41 y/n’s singer era??? 🙏

liked by harrystyles, annetwist and 10,261,739 others

yourinstagram such a rockstar.

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harryfan43 she is so supportive, i love her

harryfan44 Y/N BEING A ROCKSTAR GF AND THE ROCKSTARS GUITARIST AT THE SAME TIME 🙏

harrystyles Darling I love you so much. Don’t know what I’d do without you.

yourinstagram i love you very much sue!

harryfan46 they are so adorable, it’s sick

harryfan48 fruit man and y/n stan account 💞

billieeilish this relationship makes me so happy

harryfan50 harry lambert said on twitter the cherry on harry’s shirt was for his daughter 😭

harryfan53 I’M SOBBING HE’S SO CUTE

liked by yourinstagram, jefezoff and 14,209,761 others

harrystyles My forever muse.

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harryfan51 imagine harry styles posting you

harryfan54 SHE IS AN ICON, SHE IS A LEGEND AND SHE IS THE MOMENT

yourinstagram h, i appreciate every single thing you do for me. i love you.

harrystyles I love you more my darling.

harryfan56 i am sleeping on the highway 🧎‍♀️

pillowpersonpp my angel!

harryfan58 them posting each other is so cute 😭

brittany_broski i live for the y/n content

harryfan55 harry’s so down bad for y/n 🤭

yourinstagram via stories

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tag list : @harrysmatcha @harryspinkpillow @helen-with-an-a @florencepughily @peterparkerbae @toji-dabi-wife @fallonx @drphilssoulmate @cherriesrae @alienorknight @valluvsu @ivegotparticulartaste @ayeshathestyles @hazgoldenstyles @eiffelmezarry @tsukishimawhore @renatavieira @michellekstyles @eleanordaisy @shawnsblue @academiaghosts @japanchrry @agustdpeach @hannahnikohl @hrryscherrys @whoscamila @ch3rryrry @msolbesg @newyorker14 @futuristicpalacegardenpsychic @youusunshineyoutemptress @eunoiamaa @kaitieskidmore1 @gublerscherry @cherryfragrancx @ssuziess @milkiane @teenidlemuse @golden-hoax @flwrmuse @leah2002 @sunshinemendes8 @your--sweetest--downfall @melllinaa @iluvjj @bisouma @tenaciousperfectionunknown @cashtons-wife @harryistheonlyoneforme @stellarossii

[watermelonlovershigh]

A Day of Breastfeeding

Thank you to this ask for the request of this one shot prompt

Things to help you read this easier:

(Married for 3 years/Any solo Harry era)

(I pray that this photo doesn't get my account in trouble again. It's an innocent photo with no real nudity shown.)

Today has been a busy day with you and your four month old daughter. She woke you up at the early hour of 5:00 am and you've been up ever since.

When she woke up at five, you crawled out of the warm bed you and Harry were sleeping in to go into her nursery. Her reason for awakening was hunger. Instead of feeding her in the nursery like you do most mornings, you carried her back into yours and Harrys bedroom so you could feed her in the comfort of your bed. You climbed back in bed with a hungry baby and laid her on your newly exposed chest. She latched instantly and you may or may not have dozed back off again due to exhaustion.

At 5:30 am Harrys alarm goes off, letting him know he needs to wake up to go to the studio for a few hours and record new music. He reached for his phone, shutting the alarm off, and turned around to glance at his beautiful wife. Beautiful wife who some how stayed asleep through the sounds of his alarm. What he wasn't expecting to see was his equally beautiful baby girl laying on top of your naked chest with your nipple exposed to the cold air of the room. Presumably due to your daughter having finished eating and your nipple falling out of her relaxed mouth. Harry sleepily smiled to himself. How did he get so lucky he thinks internally.

Harry knew he needed to get ready to be at the studio but he just couldn't help himself. He got up and quietly walked around the bed to pick up your sleeping daughter from your chest. Your eyes shot open at the loss of contact with her but Harry was quick to whisper, "Shhh my love. I'm just going to take her to her nursery and let you get some comfortable sleep. Then I'm leaving for the studio. If you need me, call me. I'll come right home. Love you." He bent down to place a kiss your lips and you give him a thankful smile. Right before he let the room, he covered your exposed chest with the blanket so you don't get cold.

Harry decided to burp your daughter on the walk to her nursery knowing she hadn't burped yet. She let out a soft little burp from her tiny mouth on her daddy's shoulder and Harry kissed her soft head in appreciation. He noticed her diaper was dirtied, so being the father he is, Harry changed her poopy diaper and cradled her back to sleep. He placed her back in her crib and gave her one more good bye kiss on his way out. Then Harry got dressed and left for the studio.

Your daughter let you sleep until 7:00 am when she got hungry again. You got up to feed her and decided to just stay awake and start your day. After you fed your daughter and changed her soiled diaper, you went down the stairs to make you something to eat. While you ate your yogurt and berries, the four month old played in her playpen. Then you put her down for a midmorning nap so you could clean up a bit. Around 11:00 am, you breastfeed her again while you watched a bit of tv. She fell asleep shortly after and you called Harry to let him know you were doing fine and talked about dinner options.

Through-out the rest of your day, you pretty much alternated between breastfeeding your daughter, changing dirty diapers, putting her down for naps, and did house chores: dishes, vacuuming, laundry, and dusting. Around 5:00 pm, you felt super disgusting from all the sweating you did today. The only problem was you were home alone with your daughter and there was no one to watch her while you showered or bathed. Usually you'd wait until Harry came home but the sound of a relaxing bath sounded heavenly to your ears. So the only reasonable fix to your problem was to bring her in the tub with you.

Harry and yourself have allowed her to get in the tub with either of you before. Sometimes Harry will be taking a relaxing bath and you'll kill two birds with one stone and have your daughter get a bath with him. Being only four months old, its still expectable for her to bath with her daddy. Or sometimes while you're taking a bath and Harry is watching her, she starts to scream and cry, needing or wanting you, so Harry has no other choice other than to bring her in the bathroom and allow you to comfort her to your warm, wet body.

Now in current time, you're in the bathtub with your naked daughter laying on your bare chest, just relaxing and cooing gentle words into her ears. It feels super nice to have all this skin to skin contact with her, but you're just praying she doesn't pee or poop in the tub. Maybe you should have kept her diaper on.

At first she was calm and relaxed, just staring off into the distance, but now she is grabbing at your boob wanting to be fed again. You reach down and position your nipple to her mouth and she laches on quickly. Your nipples are painfully sore from all the feedings you give her through-out the day, everyday. Harry has told you that you should start pumping and give your nipples a break but you can't seem to do that. Even though its quite painful each time she sucks, it's one of the best feeling to have a baby feed from you directly. That may not make much since to just anyone but you're sure other mums will understand.

While off in your own little world, you don't hear Harry come in the house. He finished for the day at the studio and came home to be with his loving family. First he questions where you two are. He walked in the kitchen to find it empty. Then he walks up the stairs and to the nursery to find it empty. Lastly he walks into your shared bedroom and it's empty as well. He starts to get worried until he hears a soft voice coming from the bathroom in your bedroom. He carries his sock covered feet to the bathroom door and gently pulls it open to see a pretty sight. You breastfeeding your daughter.

"Now we're feeding in the tub, are we?" Harry softly speaks with a content smile. He startles you at first but then you force yourself to relax so you don't disturb your baby.

"I needed a bath and had no one to watch her. Then she got hungry for the millionth time today. I actually think my nipples are going to fall off." you reply back and though you sound like you are joking, Harry could hear pain in your voice when you talked about your nipples falling off. He hates you're in pain.

"I'm sorry my love." he sincerely speaks while kneeling beside the tub to run a gentle hand over the babies back. He has always been infatuated with watching her feed from you. Not in a inappropriate way because they are the same boobs he loves to see jiggle when having sex but in a way where he's in total awe.

Seconds later your daughter spits out your nipple, so you ask Harry, "Could you maybe burp her and get her dressed for bed please, so I can properly wash myself."

Harry responds immediately with, "Of course darling. Anything for you." He bends forward to peck your lips and stands to grab a towel to wrap her small body in. He returns with a towel dedicated just for babies. It's made with thin, soft material so it won't be too rough on their skin. Then with the towel over his shoulder, he bends down to pick up her wet, naked body and lays her directly on his towel covered shoulder. She whines from the cold air but he shushes her. "Shhh my little love. It's alright." he whispers to her while wrapping the towel around her frame and begins to pat her back so she can burp. Before he steps out of the bathroom, he turns to you and says, "I'll be in her nursery. Yell out if you need me for anything."

"Okay." you comment back. As you began to wash your hair and body, all you can think about is how great of a husband and father Harry is. He never puts up fights when it comes to taking care of his daughter. It doesn't matter if it's 3:00 in the morning or while he's working. He'll always come to her aid or your aid for that matter.

Harry successfully burps her and lays her down on her changing table in the nursery. Before any accidents occur, he puts a clean diaper on her bum and finds some clean pjs to keep her body warm. "Alright. All done sweetheart." he tells his baby with a kiss on the cheek. Harry carries her with him to the kitchen, her face burred in his neck. She's awake but the warm bath and feeding did make her sleepy.

In the kitchen, Harry tries to decide what is best for dinner. He decides on a veggie pizza to pop in the oven, knowing you should agree with that choice. Right as the pizza goes into the pre heated oven, you come walking down the stairs in a loose fitting shirt and pajama shorts. "Feeling better?" Harry questions you with a dimply smile while soothingly rubbing your daughters back.

"Much. Thank you for getting her ready for bed." you tell your husband.

"You don't need to thank me. It's my job as much as it is yours. She 'our' baby." he responds.

You take your daughter from his hold and walk into the living room to feed her one last time before you put her to sleep. Harry takes the cooked pizza out the oven and plates you and him a slice. Then he makes his way to the living room, deciding you both can eat in there tonight so you're more comfortable. You eat and breastfeed at the same time, doing mummy multitasking. When Harry finishes eating, he takes your now sleeping baby girl from your hold and carries her to the nursery. Like every time before he leaves her room, he makes sure to lay a soft kiss on her head. Once all that is done, he comes back to you in the living room.

"Please use the pump for tonight. Your boobs need to rest and also that way I can get up to feed her through-out the night and let you get some proper sleep." Harry says to you as you're cuddle each other on the couch.

"But I'm scared if she uses a bottle that she won't want me again. She may realize the bottle is better than my nipples." you mumble in his neck.

"That's silly. Of course she'll want your breast again. You're her mother. She very much enjoys the bonding time with you when you breastfeed her but she's getting to the age to where she needs to have other options. In a month, she'll be able to try baby food. She'll still need your milk but just introducing solids to her diet." Harry calmly speaks while rubbing over your back in a calmly manner.

After a lot of convincing on Harrys part, you decided to try and pump for the first time. So you both stand from the couch and head to your bedroom. Harry grabs the milk pumper from your closet and you get comfortable on the bed. You take your shirt off and pull the covers to your waist. Then he brings the machine over to you and sets everything up. He helps you attach the pieces to each of your nipples, being very gentle knowing how painful they are. Once they are suctioned properly, he turns the machine on and asks, "Are you alright by yourself if I go take a shower? I promise I won't be long." You nod your head and Harry grabs a pair of clean boxers, than makes his way to the bathroom and began his showering.

When Harry returns from his quick shower, the two bottles that collect your milk are near about full. He helps you remove the suction cups and disconnects the bottles from the pump to place them in the fridge for later tonight. As he returns, he see's you standing in front of the huge mirror in your bathroom, just staring at your boobs. Specifically your nipples. Your nipples even look painful he thinks to himself. He walks up behind you, resting his chin on your shoulder and caresses your ribcage with his fingers, looking straight ahead at your body in the mirror. "Go lay in bed and I'll put some cream on them." he whispers in your ear.

You follow his instructions and exit the bathroom to get in bed. Harry grabs some cream and returns to you. "I'll be gentle." he says in his tired voice, straddling your lap. He dips his ring less fingers in the soothing cream and bends down. Cradling the sides of your boobs with one hand, he uses his other to rub the nipple itself. His movements are slow and if it was under other circumstances, you swear you would have just gotten turned on by his actions. He looks to be in extreme concentration and you can't help but feel happy. For the second time today, you realize how great Harry is to you and your baby.

Once Harry has covered both your nipples in the cream, he helps you put a bra on that has leaking pads in them, to prevent the ointment from making a mess on the beds covers. Then he goes to wash his hands and comes back to crawl into bed and snuggle with you. "Love you y/n." Harry whispers quietly.

"I love you too babe. And I know you said not to thank you earlier, but thank you. I'm grateful to have you in my life." you blindly reach up to kiss his lips and then shove your face into his neck, smelling the manly scent of his body wash.

Through-out that night, anytime your four mouth old daughter woke up needing a feeding, Harry got up and warmed a bottle from the fridge and sat in the rocker located in the corner of her nursery each time. She would curl up on his tattooed chest, sleepily drink the bottle, and he would rock back and forth, lightly singing to her in a sleep ridden voice. Then he burped her after each feeding and put her back to sleep comfortably in her crib. That night, you got the most uninterrupted sleep you've gotten since before she was born and its all thanks to your wonderful husband and baby daddy, Harry.

MASTERLIST & My Favorite Harry Styles Fics MASTERLIST

[forthegothicheroine]

The King in Yellow, 1949

Much of this story is true.  Warnings in the tags.

When I had pneumonia in my early teens, my mother brought home an armful of VHS tapes from the library to alleviate my misery.  Knowing my snobbish preferences, she had grabbed copies of whatever she found in black and white.  I remember something musical that I suspect was Busby Berkeley, I remember Mildred Pierce (a bad choice, as it turned out- the plot includes a young girl dying of pneumonia), and I remember a period piece called The King.  I faded in and out of consciousness while I watched it, but it soothed me while I was awake and filled my fever dreams with sparkling images.  I could never find it at the library again, nor at Hollywood Video or even early Netflix (once my father got the subscription service where you could order practically every DVD.)  It was a bit odd that it seemed to be so obscure, given that it starred old Hollywood legend Ingrid Bergman (and, although I initially forgot it, Marlene Dietrich.)  But even big stars make films that fall by the wayside in public memory, and it seemed that this was one of them.  Google was no help, and at the time that was that.

I didn’t see the film again until I was watching Turner Classic Movies at my grandparents’ house.  I loved watching that channel with them while filling out the crossword puzzle that came in their little TCM catalogue (all of it based on movie trivia, the only kind of crossword puzzle I’ve ever been any good at.)  I recognized a certain scene where Bergman stood on a balcony, looking sadly at the moon.  Her face had an expression of unutterable melancholy, and the crescent moon reflected in each of her eyes, giving the impression of two moons in one sky.  I had very little time to catch up on what I’d missed before we had to go meet my cousins at the local Italian restaurant.  I knew logically that the movie would be long over by the time we returned, but I turned on the channel anyway.  Of course it had moved on to the lesser known Alfred Hitchcock film Stage Fright, but then I heard Marlene Dietrich sing before I could reach the remote to turn the tv off in disappointment.  I knew that I had heard her sing before, and I knew it had been in The King.

Dietrich’s singing often comes across as somewhat campy today, with its Rs pronounced as Ws and it’s up-and-down tone.  Madeline Kahn parodied it brilliantly in Blazing Saddles, such that it was a bit of a disappointment when I finally saw Dietrich’s western Destry Rides Again and found it to be lifeless and inconsistent next to the parody.  Still, we remember her voice for a reason, and when I remembered it that night, I knew that its sardonic loneliness had rung through The King and made me shiver in my dreams.

The TCM schedule didn’t list The King in its time slot, but something else.  If I had taken down the name, maybe it would have helped me find it.  Sometimes the same movie runs under multiple names.

I didn’t see the film all the way through for many years, after I graduated college.  I had found a web page that listed public domain film noir, including one called The Masked Guest.  The website described it as a costume noir, and I curiously clicked on the link.  Once I took in the credits running on the youtube window, my eyes grew wide and I did not move from my place on the bed until the movie had run its course.

The credits did indeed list it as The Masked Guest, but I recognized the strange repeating design on the title cards.  They told me that in addition to starring Dietrich and Bergman, it was directed by Fritz Lang, and a character called The King was credited to “???”  (I hadn’t seen that kind of credit since the first Karloff Frankenstein.)  When the King finally appears on screen, though, it is unmistakably Orson Welles’s voice that booms out from behind his elaborate costume.

Here are the things I understand about The King, or The Masked Guest, or The Man in Yellow, or any other title I’ve found for it on public domain archive searches.  Dietrich and Bergman play princesses named Cassilda and Camilla, respectively.  Though Dietrich’s accent is German and Bergman’s is Swedish, they blend together to give the film the impression of being set somewhere on the map that I can’t quite find.  The scenery and camera angles are very Freudian, with a great deal of archways and pillars.

The first act of The King involves frankly dull romantic plotlines, and the only thing that really saved it was the feeling that the suitors were supposed to be insipid, a suspicion lended credence by the fact that the love interests were listed so low on the credits.  Dietrich is the scandalous sister and Bergman is the responsible one, though each takes on aspects of the other as the film goes on.  Dietrich sings her song at a party, dressed in a fake 17th century gown and leaning against a piano.  Although just a moment ago she had been laughing and joking with her gentleman friends, her song takes an abruptly serious tone (not seductive, not sentimental) as she tells the story of a city lost to time and memory.  Bergman slips away from the party and onto the balcony, where we see that wonderful shot of the moon in her eyes.  Is she mourning?  Is she longing?

Dietrich cuts off the song by abruptly screaming “Not on us, King!  Not on us!”  She flees the party weeping and shaking, and from there on the film goes mad.

Though uncommon, it is not unknown for movies to switch between black and white and color, done most famously in The Wizard of Oz.  The film The King recalls here is the silent Phantom of the Opera, which had a masqued ball scene tinted in shades of red and green that tried to provide a whole spectrum of color.  The effect is even odder in the masqued ball scene in The King- the only color that appears is yellow, highlighting things like candlelight, Dietrich’s hair, a passing gown, a vase of tulips.  It also highlights one particular masked figure, whose expressionless mask was decorated with a black pattern against a sickening yellow canvas- the same pattern I had seen in the opening credits.  The color of his costume causes him to stand out from the crown even when he is far off in the background, just one head among many others.  It must have taken long and painstaking hours of work to color in every frame.

Dietrich still seems broken up days after her song, though Bergman tries to coax her into joining the dance.  Finally, at midnight, Dietrich goes out to face the party, but only to demand that every guest remove their mask.  The yellow man with a voice that once warned America about a Martian invasion tells her that he wears no mask.  Bergman reacts with disbelief, but Dietrich starts laughing like a woman unhinged.  As she laughs, the yellow hue seeps out of the King’s clothing and face- if that really is his face- and begins to color the entire ballroom crowd.  I think that what follows is bloodshed, but if there is any carnage (doubtful under the Production Code censorship), the blood must be tainted yellow and splashed across the camera like daubs of paint.  Dietrich’s laughing face is doubled and tripled on screen until it dissipates, but even when it has faded offscreen, it feels as if her ghost continues to watch the proceedings.  

By the end of the scene (filled with German Expressionist camera angles and mad violin screeching), only Bergman remains alive, cowering behind a grandfather clock.  It does not hide her for long.  The King steps towards her and extends his hand.  Reluctantly, but with a fatalistic expression, Bergman takes his hand.  They walk away together hand in hand.  The screen shifts back into black and white, and then the credits roll before we can get a good look at all the bodies in the scene.  The credits say it was based on a play called The King in Yellow, although Raymond Chandler of all people apparently had a hand in the screenplay.

As I said, that’s what I think I understand.  It’s an oddly experimental art film for the era, and it may be awaiting rediscovery by the film festival crowd.  I feel as if I alone know about it, though that obviously isn’t true.  It is my little secret; I tell myself that my husband doesn’t need me to show it to him, it would be too odd for his taste.  I’ve rewatched it many times, even if it seems like each time I search for it I have to find a different video platform or torrent.  Naturally, no subscription site has it available.  Maybe I am the last person who will ever watch it.  Maybe no one will ever think to look for it again after me, and it will be completely forgotten.

When I was hospitalized, they let me use my laptop at night before I went to sleep (no power cord, though, in case I tried to hang myself.)  I found a youtube link for The Man in Yellow, and I watched it every night.  It wasn’t a soothing sort of movie, but having it in my mind all day and then watching it in the evening allowed me to think as opposed to crying endlessly while the other patients shot me awkward looks.  I clutched the childhood stuffed animals my mother brought me when she visited, and I always held them extra tight when the masquerade scene started.

I watched the movie when I had to move away from my beloved San Francisco.  I watched the movie when I lost the last of my grandparents.  I watched the movie when a doctor unwisely took me off my medication and I couldn’t manage to eat for a month.  I watched the movie when the whole world got sick and we all locked ourselves away from each other.  I don’t mind that I don’t entirely know what it means.  I don’t mind the nightmares.  In the hospital they kept telling us about mindfulness exercises, and maybe the fact that I can focus on every aspect of the film so closely that all else falls away is the reason I keep coming back to it.  I’m being mindful.  I’m not letting any stray thoughts invade my head.  I’m just watching and waiting for the next beat of every scene, leading inexorably to that yellow-stained bloodbath.

Streaming media doesn’t last forever, and each time I find The King, I worry that it will be the last time I ever can find it.  My efforts to download it have so far been unsuccessful, odd considering that it is in the public domain.

When I watch The King, I am once again a child in my bedroom being cared for in the throes of agonizing sickness.  I am once again sitting on the couch with my grandparents in front of the tv, both of them alive and lucid again.  I am once again in the hospital, all alone except for my stuffed animals and the staff trying to keep me alive.  The film reflects in my eyes like the crescent moon in Ingrid Bergman’s gaze.  It sings to me.

I am determined to find a way to obtain The King under any name so that I never have to worry about losing it.  During some of the worst times in my life, it is the only thing that has kept me sane.

[kiri-ah]

Something To Sink My Teeth Into || she/her pronouns version

Themes: Supernatural AU, Vampire AU, strangers to lovers, angst and fluff (so much fluff), something similar to those symbiotes from Venom and Hanahaki disease combined, interplanar travel, Jaemin and the reader are oblivious and Chenle gets mad about it, long conversations about vampires, vampires can't cry

Pairing: Vampire!Jaemin x Female Human!reader

Warnings: mentions of blood (minor), mentions of eating (human food and vampire food), character death, Chenle is kind of a butthole, in depth conversations about humans and vampires which include biting and blood drinking, Yuta's house gets set on fire

Word Count: 26.4k

Taglist: @bluejaem, @heyyyun, @generantionct (untaggable), @stayctday, @kunrengui, @allegxdly, @leetaeyonglover, @koishua, @choppedupcactus, @hyuckworld, @alexameliamg, @notbeforelong, @jaemotel

Summary: A trip to Poland goes terribly wrong - or maybe terribly right - when you're bitten and kidnapped by a vampire. Between passing out, almost dying multiple times, and falling in love, you have a lot on your plate. Oh, and the magic. Right. Teaser here.

A/N: This is so much longer than it was meant to be... *sigh*

This has only been edited by myself and a friend of mine, please excuse any errors. I worked hard to make the best experience possible. For that reason, please note that this is the !she/her pronouns version! He/him pronouns may be found here, they/them pronouns here. Please enjoy!

You were on holiday in Krakow, Poland. For your twenty first birthday, your parents had gifted you a weeklong trip over Spring Break, and you had been having the time of your life. You had found Krakow rich in historical influence - it had been the capital of Poland until 1596 and still had remnants of the past, like a Renaissance-era trading post and sections of the medieval walls that surrounded the city. Plus, the section of the city that you were staying in was very close to the city center, where you discovered aforementioned trading post, called the Cloth Hall, and an old cathedral named St. Mary’s Basilica.

The first night of your stay, Sunday night, you had struggled to sleep, because of the time difference and the excitement of arriving. You stayed in Monday morning, trying to at least rest a bit, and then ventured out to the nearest coffee shop when that didn’t alleviate your sleepiness. The barista had whipped up your favorite pick-me-up morning drink, and you went to sit outside in the fresh air, surveying the plaza over the rim of your cup. It was just the right time of year, you thought, because it was nice and warm without being too hot, just how you liked it. The sun had started to rise about the buildings around you, illuminating certain structures and giving them an unearthly glow.

When you finished your drink, you put the cup into the collection bin and walked back out onto the main square, just enjoying the sun on your face (over the sunglasses you had bought in the airport after forgetting to pack yours) and letting the warmth sink through your limbs after the tired night. One of the unfortunate things about the time of year you had travelled was the tourists. There were families and older couples and people your age taking trips with their friends, and most everyone stayed right where you were staying as well: right in the heart of the city. To avoid as many crowds as possible, you had booked a tour of St. Mary’s Basilica for Thursday morning, and reserved entry to the underground museum for this afternoon.

Tomorrow you planned to go and see Grodzka Street, where you were going to try and find a souvenir. In the same neighborhood was an ancient church called St. Andrew’s Church, which dated back to around 1079. On Wednesday, you were going to brave the crowds of people in the Cloth Hall for the same purpose, and also because it was a historical landmark that you just needed to explore. Wednesday afternoon was blocked out to be a rest period, as was Thursday morning. Then on Friday you were planning to go and see the Wawel Castle and Cathedral. From there you would explore the various attractions on the property, and then return to the plaza later to eat. That afternoon, you planned to go to the Jewish cemetery. Saturday was blocked out for a trip to Auschwitz-Birkenau, which was a Nazi concentration camp and a Holocaust memorial out of the main town. When you returned to the hotel late that afternoon you would pack and get ready for your flight Sunday morning. It was going to be a very full and very fun week. Or at least you hoped it would be fun.

You explored the main square a little bit that first day and unpacked your things, making sure you had everything you needed for your trip and you didn’t need to walk to one of the convenience stores nearby.

The days passed quickly, and you finished each one completely satisfied. Everything and everyone here was so wonderful and you started to wonder how you had never heard of this place before this trip. It was absolutely one of the best places your parents could have picked.

On Friday morning you got up bright and early (well, actually, it was dark and early) to go to the Wawel Castle. You had heard from a travelling site that tickets sold out fast and it was important to get there early in the day, and you tried to heed that warning. At 7am when you arrived it was already busy, but thankfully not so much that the lines were too long. You wandered through the small exhibits and around the grounds. It was a bit more chilly today and you wrapped a scarf around your neck as you shivered, trying to find a less windy spot to hide out for a second. You found a little spot where you could take a moment and recharge your inner heater and were doing just that, burrowing into your small scarf mountain, when you realized that a person stood next to you. You looked up through your lashes at them and caught your breath - holy cow he had good genes. He had a sharp, sloping jawline that stopped at a chin less pointy than you had expected. His lips were plush and round, although he needed some chapstick. His hair was pushed around by the wind but despite that he looked, well, amazing. Sections were bleached, giving his hair an almost halo-esque look. His nostrils contracted as he inhaled and then his eyes cut down to yours, dark and deep and was that eyeliner?

He smiled then, a smirk that seemed far too self-assured for the situation, and leaned over towards your exposed ear. “I can feel you staring, sweetheart,” he murmured. The top of your ear, which had been feeling rather numb, flamed hot at his words. It almost hurt, the sudden jump into heat. You turned towards him fully, only eyes exposed by the scarf mountain. Your hair whipped around as the wind shifted again, but he didn’t seem cold, although he was in only a pair of black skinny jeans, a white t-shirt, and a black jacket. The jacket caught your attention for a second - it was studded with thousands of little rhinestones, like a varsity jacket gone shiny. Then he shifted closer into your space and you were forced to look back at his eyes, glittering in a way that seemed almost predatory. You sucked in a breath through your mouth and started to back away.

“S-sorry,” your breath came out in a whisper. Nobody seemed to notice your interaction. “I didn’t see you there, I’ll just leave.” You turned to go before his hand, surprisingly strong, clamped around your arm and pulled you back into his chest.

His voice came out in a growl as he blocked your scream with his other hand. “I am far, far too hungry for you to leave right now, precious.” The strength in your legs seemed to dissipate at his tone, you knew you needed to defend yourself, but ‘hungry’? What was that about? And precious? The hand wrapped around your arm let go and started unwrapping your scarf, exposing your face to both him and the frigid wind. He started to lean down, and you pressed your lips together tightly. At the very least, he wasn’t getting in your mouth. You may have lost the strength in your legs, but not in your will. Then he bypassed your mouth and leaned into your neck, inhaling and causing cold air to course along the column of your throat. He chuckled when you shivered, then bit into your neck.

The pain was overwhelming, you could feel each individual blood cell crying out, every organ protesting, your head started to pound with it. It hurt far more than even a dog bite should. It hurt like a shot at the doctor going on and on, echoing through your body and you were powerless to stop it. The pain flared in your neck and your brain seemed to slow down as the blood flowed away from it and into his mouth. You crumbled into him, and without detaching from your throat, he scooped you up into his arms, holding you there to be his personal bloodbag. You had long since stopped trying to scream, it was too difficult, too much effort.

Vampires, your thoughts whispered, before the pain covered you and you passed out, collapsing completely.

☽༓☾

You woke up in a... cozy cottage? There wasn’t any sign of your attacker and, in fact, no sign of anything vampire esque either. You looked around the single room at the soft fabric couch (covered in boho style throw pillows), the kitchenette (complete with pre packed food), and the window, through which you could see a combination flower and vegetable garden. There were two doors off of the room you were in, one that led towards the lush green outside, and one that must have concealed the bathroom.

The moment you realized this, you also realized that you really needed to use said bathroom, and struggled to plant your bare feet on the floor. Your legs didn't want to hold your weight, and you crumbled to the rug with a whine. Two seconds later, the door to the outside opened with a swish of fresh air and there, outlined by the sun, stood the most gorgeous person you had ever had the pleasure to lay eyes on. When he saw you on the floor, he groaned and ran a hand through his pink hair. "Shit, I'm so sorry, let me help you!" He ran over and you allowed him to half carry you into the bathroom. It wasn’t like you had any strength to protest, and he seemed nice. He smelled like sunshine on fresh earth.

Once you had finished using the toilet you tried to stand up again, now that you at least had some semblance of strength in your legs. After a few tries you were able to support yourself against the bathroom counter, with more than half of your weight against the frigid tiles. Your legs shook as you started standing more straight up, and you made a high pitched keening sound that you didn’t even know you could make; the man’s worried voice came through the door. His voice was higher and slightly panicked.

“Are you okay? Do you need help? Are you hurting too much?”

Your voice, which you hadn’t managed to make work properly, came out lower than usual and scratchy. A portion of your throat ached as you tried to make the sounds audibly. “Yeah,” you rasped out. “I can’t stand up properly.”

“Do you need me to come and help?” There was something about his voice that just made you want to trust him. It was soft but strong and even though he had toned down the panic, it still had soft tremors of worry running through it.

You thought about it for a second and considered yourself in the mirror. You looked, quite frankly, horrible. Your hair was a mess (more than usual), your eye bags were sagging unnaturally, and your eyes themselves were dull. You did look like you needed help. You sighed. “Sure.”

A moment later he opened the door slowly and stepped into the space with you, putting one arm around your waist to help support you. You relaxed some of your weight onto him and closed your eyes briefly. It would have been a wholly relaxing moment if not for your stomach. It grumbled up at you and you thought for a moment that it sounded like an angry octopus trapped inside of you. Then you blinked to clear the thought away as the man laughed. It was deeper than you expected from a man with pink cotton-candy colored hair, a low chuckle that rumbled through his body and, in turn, yours. You shook against him slightly with the movement and his other arm came to help you lean more against his body. He was stronger than you expected and you could feel the muscles in his arms shift as he reoriented himself.

“Let’s get you some food,” he said, smiling. “Unfortunately I’m not sure I’ll have much you’ll like.” You just nodded. Your throat was still throbbing uncomfortably where you were bitten and you weren’t sure you had the energy to even debate his statement. You were sure you would eat whatever he gave you. He led you into the main room again and helped you settle onto the couch. He walked over to the kitchenette and picked up a can of soup, then walked back to you to verify it was a kind that you liked. Once you had approved it, he went back and put it in a pot on the electric stove, starting to heat it up. As he stood over it, you had some time to think as you sat on the couch. The first thing you realized was that you still didn’t know what his name was, which was an issue. You couldn’t thank him properly without knowing his name. The second thing you realized was that you didn’t know where you were, exactly. The third was that you had probably missed your flight back home and your parents were going to murder you for it when you eventually got back. You shifted so you were more comfortable before trying to speak again. You started with the easiest vocal warmup you remembered and the man looked over at you with eyebrows raised.

“You good?” he asked. You nodded in response, hoping that your throat would relax and stop throbbing.

“Yeah, I think so,” you told him. “The side of my neck really aches where that man bit me.” His eyebrows furrowed at this and you thought maybe you just imagined it, that nobody actually bit you, but the pain was real enough in that moment and it was certainly real enough when he bit you. “Also,” you continued, “I still don’t know what your name is.” He seemed to think about this for a moment.

“I’m Jaemin Na,” he said eventually. “This is my house. And I think maybe we need to take a closer look at your bite, I didn’t realize it still hurt. Usually the throbbing goes away after a day or two.” You found yourself nodding along before his words sank in.

“Okay, uh, nice to actually know who you are now. I’m Y/N,” you said. There were suddenly many more questions floating around your brain. Usually he had said, which meant he had dealt with vampire bitten people before. How? Was he one? Why weren’t you a vampire? And how long had you been asleep for? They circled around your head like a dog chasing its tail until you realized that Jaemin was in front of you. It seemed like he was waiting for you to say something.

“Sorry,” you murmured. “What was that?”

“I said we have all the time in the world for you to ask me the questions I know you must have. Don’t psych yourself out. You’re safe.” Despite the fact that you knew next to nothing about him you found yourself once again trusting him without reason. He just seemed like a genuinely nice person, someone you could believe to tell you nothing but the truth.

“Okay,” you agreed, and it came out like a sigh. Your throat gave a particularly unpleasant throb and you unconsciously brought a hand up to rub at it. Jaemin’s hand fastened around your wrist and pulled it away, looking closely at your skin. He sighed.

“You’ve probably figured out by now that the man who bit you was a vampire. If you haven’t, have your moment of denial now.” You just looked back at him, surprised.

“Denial?”

“Yeah. Usually when humans find out about vampires for the first time they aren’t very accepting of it. I’ve had to replace my windows a few times from thrown objects.” You almost laughed before realizing that he was serious.

“Okay, well, I already got that, so go ahead,” you prompted.

“Great!” His eyes got just a little bit less heavy with your statement and he continued, “contrary to popular belief, vampires don’t actually turn humans all that often. If we had that little self control the whole population would be dead or turned already.” You noted his use of the word we and shuddered a little. He could attack you too? He seemed so gentle.

For the first time you noticed your soup in a bowl on the coffee table. Jaemin reclaimed your attention by speaking again. “We’re also pretty good at choosing who to bite, and when. We’re not heartless. We try to choose people with good metabolisms so that we can return them to Earth quickly.” At this you inhaled so sharply that he paused, looking over at you.

“We aren’t on Earth anymore?” you asked shakily. He shook his head with a quirk of his lips. That distracted you enough to calm down for a moment. He really was a gorgeous person. Was the word person still applicable to vampires? You didn’t know. He sucked you out of your thoughts again with a hand waved in front of you.

“No, we’re not on Earth. Where we are… it’s like a parallel plane of existence. Vampires can live here, do live here, in bigger bunches than we can on Earth. We call it ‘Vahmpyr.’ I always thought that was a really unoriginal name, but I was turned after it was discovered so I didn’t have much of a say. It would be like you trying to rename Earth.” He picked up your bowl of soup and stirred it around, handing it to you, before continuing.

“This is my vacation house of sorts, where I nurse humans who have been bitten back to their healthy selves. Generally we vampires try to keep one certified nurse or doctor in each coven just in case, more if the coven is large. It’s a handy skill to have. Especially if you happen to have parts of your coven who are as chaotic as ours.” He looked over at you and smiled wryly before adding, “I didn’t poison the soup, you know.” You looked down at your lap where the warm bowl sat and laughed under your breath before picking up the spoon and taking a bite. It was delicious. You flashed him a thumbs up with your mouth full and he smiled brightly again.

Once you had swallowed you asked, “how can you bite humans and not turn them? I didn’t know it was possible to not turn us.” He nodded like he was expecting this question.

“It’s kind of a strange feeling,” he told you. “Biting, I mean. It’s not like the human feeling of biting into a piece of meat. It’s just… it’s amazing. It’s like cold fruit on a summer’s day, hot chocolate while snow falls. It’s at once a feeling of absolute power and absolute devotion because tasting a human’s blood puts them above everything else, at least for a few moments. At the same time you’re aware that their body is falling apart and right into you. It’s intoxicating. Every once in a while you’ll bite someone that just tastes extraordinarily good, or meet someone with a unique and, pardon my language, delicious, smell. Then your body sort of automatically realizes you want them to stick around and releases the venom.”

“So,” you said, interested by his version of vampires, “if you bit me right now, I’d be fine?”

His eyes sparked with something new. Anger, you thought, or something close to it. “I just spent four days nursing you back to health and you want me to bite you just to see what happens?” he asked incredulously.

“No! I was just confirming. I’m sorry,” you murmured, and shoved another bite of the soup into your mouth for good measure. He sighed.

“I’m sorry too, it feels so easy to talk to you. I forget that you’re new to this.” You choked on your soup while he and he hurriedly patted your back as you regained your breath. “Are you alright?”

“Did you say you spent four days nursing me back to health?” you asked, head spinning. Four days. Four days. Four days. “I’ve been missing from Earth for four days?”

He deliberated for a moment. “Yes, and no. You’ve been off of Earth for four days, yes, but you aren’t missing.” You raised an eyebrow in response and he hurried to explain more. “I mean, obviously you’re here, and yes, you’ve been here for four days, asleep, recovering from Jisung’s bite. On the other hand, there’s still a you on Earth right now. That’s the interesting thing about Vahmpyr. We can bring humans back, with some effort, and while they’re here, a version of them is still on Earth. It’s still you. And if you go back, from what I understand, you get your other half’s memories back, like you never left. It’s quite the phenomenon.” He seemed completely serious and you were inclined to believe him, but this was insanity. Another you, a perfect copy, walking around on Earth while you hung out with the vampires in their parallel plane? You pinched yourself. It hurt, and you winced. Jaemin looked at you with this horrible understanding glimmer in his eyes like he was saying I know how this is. It’s weird and unimaginable but it’s here. Please don’t break any of my things.

Eventually you just kept sitting and looked back at him. “This really is good soup,” you said. He looked at you in surprise before bursting out laughing, face lighting up like the horizon at sunrise.

“You’re not going to attack me?” he asked between chuckles. “That’s the normal response. And thank you, that’s my favorite kind of soup too.” You shook your head, smiling back at him.

“I decided that there’s no changing it even if this is just a fever dream induced by an infected human,” you explained to him. “And wait, can you actually eat still? Like stuff besides blood?” In response he ran over to the small kitchen and grabbed a spoon of his own, dipping it into the bowl and moving it to his mouth. When he was done he smiled at you.

“I can still eat human foods. Nothing is as good as blood, of course, but I can still enjoy it. It’s just dulled by the transformation. And I’m glad that’s the stance you take on being transported to a different plane, I’ve known humans to react rather badly.” He took a moment to think. “For example, there was a woman who was convinced we had sexually assaulted her, which is a fair thought, but she wouldn’t let me explain anything to her. She ran outside as soon as her legs were strong enough and ran right into Lucas. He’s a really big guy, wide and tall and strong and such. She was so terrified she ran into my bathroom and I had to give her the spiel from through the door. Not the finest of interactions.” In spite of yourself you laughed. You could imagine the woman’s fear, especially if this Lucas was as infuriatingly gorgeous as Jaemin and the man who had bit you. You probably should’ve felt the same way, but something about Jaemin was just relaxing, and you felt safe with him.

“I get it,” you told Jaemin. “All of you guys; the guy who bit me - what did you say his name was? Jisung? Yeah, him. Jisung and you and probably Lucas, you all look like models which I guess goes with the vampire narrative, but it’s a little shocking since I’ve never seen someone so good looking. It’s nearly scary.” You looked back up to see Jaemin looking surprised.

“You think we’re good looking? Even after you got bitten by one, abducted by another, and have only heard of the third in a story about someone running away screaming?”

You shrugged. “All of that doesn’t change the facts. You’re still some pretty perfect looking human beings.” A moment later you realized what you had said and wrinkled your nose. “Sorry, uh, creatures. Is that offensive?” Jaemin laughed again and wow you could get addicted to that laugh. It was so carefree. You supposed that came with immortality.

“Technically ‘creatures’ is more accurate but isn’t very nice-sounding, even if we are unnatural monsters.” He said this as though he had come to terms with it. Even if we are unnatural monsters.

“I don’t think you’re unnatural,” you told him. “I mean, if there is a higher power out there then He or It or They created a whole plane for you and if not then nature did. I don’t think Vahmpyr would exist if you were unnatural.” He looked at you without speaking as you took another spoonful of soup.

“That’s… that’s a new way of looking at it.” He looked conflicted, like he was trying to reconcile your view of him with his view of himself. “I don’t think our plane was meant to exist though, by higher power or nature. Humans are beautiful because they age and there is room for change within your society. It’s hard to change an entire plane full of the unchanging.”

“Maybe so,” you argued, “but you’re obviously gorgeous on the outside, and on the inside it seems like you have a good system too. If I was a vampire I don’t think I’d take care of the humans I had bitten. It wouldn’t have occurred to me. They would all die. I would be dead, come to think of it.”

“That’s true,” he conceded. “You really do have a unique view of things.”

“Thank you?” It came out sounding more like a question than you intended. You finished your bowl of soup, licking the excess off of your upper lip. Setting the bowl back down seemed to break whatever spell had kept you in eager conversation with him. You supposed all of your questions had been answered, for now. Jaemin helped you get set up with Netflix on his TV and went back outside to his garden. He explained that you could call for him through the open window if you needed him, he would be right nearby. You nodded, already distracted by the opening scene of your show.

After a while you realized that there were low voices coming from outside. It sounded like Jaemin was talking to someone. You turned the volume down on the TV a little bit to listen. Maybe you could meet the infamous Lucas or someone else in Jaemin’s vampire family.

“... have to bring her to me?” Jaemin was saying. “You tasted her, you know her scent. This is painful. Her scent is all over my things, my bed.” He let out a small groan and the other man with him chuckled breathily.

“Hyung, I didn’t mean for her to smell so good I swear, it was a spur of the moment decision. I was hunting in her area and her scent was so enticing. Plus, I was hungry!” You shuddered at the mention of hunting. This one, who must be Jisung, was far less civilized than Jaemin, it seemed.

Jaemin made an angry noise and his words hissed out when he spoke. “You think it was enticing out in the open air of Poland? On a windy day? I’ve been smelling her acutely on my things, in my house, for four days and it hurts. My venom has been going non-stop for the entire period and it’s not like I can just change her, she’s got a life ahead of her!” Part of your heart went out to Jaemin - he was trying so hard to take care of you and even caused himself pain for it. That explained why he had reacted so negatively when you asked what would happen if he bit you. You wouldn’t have been fine. You would’ve become like him. The thought didn’t cause the anger or disgust you thought it should have. It sounded nice, almost, to be like him. To stay in his safety for eternity.

“Jaemin,” said a new voice. It was strong and rough like tree bark lined his throat. “You can return her back to the real world in just a few more days and you’ll be free of her. It’s not like she would want to stay here anyway, her friends and family are back on Earth. We can keep Jisung home and have him feed on Chenle until he learns his lesson.”

Someone, presumably Jisung, made a wounded noise. “I can control myself, I promise. Don’t make me feed on Chenle, Hyung, he doesn’t taste anywhere near as good.” Definitely Jisung.

“Jisung,” said Jaemin’s voice. “Don’t argue, you brought this on yourself. And me,” he adds as an afterthought.

Jisung’s sullen voice responded, “fine, Hyung, but Chenle isn’t going to be happy either, you know.” You thought maybe Jaemin must have nodded or something because nobody said anything for a while. You turned off the TV, suddenly bored with the program and head full of new questions. The top one on the list was why. Why did you affect them this way? Why did Jaemin treat you so nicely when you were hurting him? Why did Jisung sound like a puppy who had been reprimanded? Why did Jaemin and the other man have the power to ground him, essentially? Then there were the who questions. Who was the man with the voice like tree bark? Who was Chenle, and why wouldn’t he be happy? Lastly were the when questions. When would you be going home? When would you see them again? Would you see them ever again? When would Jisung be allowed to hunt again?

You were so deep in your head that you didn’t notice the door opening and Jaemin coming in, two men behind him, until he stopped and waved a hand in front of you.

“Y/N, you okay? I brought you some people to meet.” He stepped back and you forced your eyes to refocus on what was in front of you. When you looked up at him, he presented the two other guys like he was a car salesman and these were his favorite models. “This is Jisung, you’ve met him already although I don’t know if you remember him.” You nodded, looking over him. He had on a grey crewneck sweatshirt over a pair of black sweatpants today and looked far less terrifyingly beautiful flanked by his hyungs.

“I remember him,” you told them. “You’re the one who bit me.” You didn’t think it was possible for him to look more sheepish than he already did but he managed to, and shrank back so that he was standing half-behind the other man. The other guy had bleached hair falling messily over his forehead, and even though he was shorter than Jisung, he seemed to command your attention more. He had on a green sleeveless shirt that showed off arms rippling with muscles. You gulped, looking up at him, but then he smiled at you. His whole demeanor changed. He felt less like he was about to kill you and more like he might accidentally strangle you to death in a hug. His eyes scrunched up into little crescents and you found yourself smiling back.

“I’m Jeno,” he said, walking forward to shake your hand. “Sorry I didn’t come to visit earlier.” His voice still sounded like bark lined his throat, but less so now that he wasn’t bothering to limit his volume.

“That’s fine,” you replied. “I just woke up earlier today.” You glanced towards Jaemin; he looked like a proud mom watching you interact with his friend. “Jaemin fed me, and since then I’ve just been sitting here watching TV. I can’t find my phone, and even if I did I’m not sure I could walk over to it. My legs are out of practice.”

Jeno smiled again. “That’s pretty common for Jisung’s victims. We found out he has these little back teeth that make it more painful for the people he bites so they usually need more bed rest to recover from the strain on their bodies and the blood loss.”

You nodded, as though that made sense. They still let Jisung hunt with his unpredictability and extra teeth? That seemed a little irresponsible of them, but you supposed that Jeno and Jaemin weren’t that much older than him in the first place. You tried to bring up your next subject subtly.

“Speaking of recovery, when do you think I’ll be going back to Earth?” The change in the room was immediate. Jeno’s smile faltered enough for you to see his eyes, Jaemin’s shoulders slumped, and Jisung’s foot started tapping against the rug. “It’s not that I don’t like it here,” you interjected, “I'm just worried that my, uh, double self will get up to trouble and stuff. What if someone notices it’s not me?”

Jisung looked at Jaemin. “You either did a really bad job of explaining this or she wasn't listening, Hyung.” Jaemin glared at him in response and chose not to dignify the statement with an answer. Jisung huffed at him and turned to you. “It’s you, y’know, back on Earth. Like… when a starfish gets cut in half, both halves grow into full starfish again. Something similar happened to you. Same organism, same you, just two different places. Is that a weird comparison?”

“What he means,” interjected Jeno before you could reply, “is that the you down there has all of your experiences and memories and the same brain. It’s the exact same person as you, just two versions of you. When you go back you won't even have a bite scar.” At this you lifted your hand to rub at the mark on your throat. You saw Jisung’s eyes follow the action and he licked his lips. You put your arm back down into your lap and swallowed, the sound echoing in your head.

Finally Jaemin spoke. “And to answer your question, as soon as we get you strong enough to walk on your own you can go back. I mean technically there’s a body waiting for you down there, but we don’t know what would happen if we sent you back faulty, so we like to be careful.” You laughed at his use of the word faulty and nodded.

“Okay. Do you guys have a portal or something that’ll take me back?” At this all three men burst into laughter and a high pitched squeal joined the mix, coming from the doorway. Yet another man was standing there, thin orange-dyed hair flopping as he doubled over laughing.

“A- a portal,” he wheezed out between laughs. “No, we don’t have a portal.” You threw him a disgruntled look.

“I was just asking…”

Jaemin looked equally off-put and said, “Y/N, this is Chenle, Jisung’s best friend and our second child. Sorry about his lack of a filter.” His lips pursed unhappily and you rushed to reassure him.

“No, that’s okay, I don’t know if that was stupid question. No feelings hurt, he’s fine.” Jaemin looked unconvinced, so you sat up more towards Chenle and reached out a hand. “I’m Y/N.”

“Oh is that your name?” he replied breezily, shaking your hand quickly. “They were right, you do smell good.” Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Jaemin shift protectively.

“Chenle.” His voice came out a growl, raising hairs on the back of your neck. “Don’t you dare.” It was interesting, you thought, how this dynamic worked. From what you had heard with Jisung, Jaemin had always contained himself, like he was reprimanding his favorite child. With Chenle he seemed almost dangerous, like it was possible for him to hurt a fly, and things much bigger than a fly. You wondered if he was this way with all of his patients, or if Chenle just bothered him more with you than usual.

“I’m not going to, mom, chill out a moment.” Chenle, you decided, must be the bad egg of their group. Every family had at least one, and here was theirs. He seemed the most likely to hurt something for the fun of it, and it almost seemed like he should have been the one to attack you, not Jisung. You wondered, in the distant back of your head, whether he had extra teeth for biting like Jisung did. Maybe it was better not to find out.

“Please don’t call me mom,” Jaemin sighed in response, all of the fight leaving him a rush. His muscles were still tense, though, and he ran a hand through his cotton candy colored hair.

“Chenle,” said Jeno, “I think you and Jisung should go talk. He has news for you.” Jisung shuddered slightly, his nod small and tense. You remembered his reaction earlier, when he had been informed that he needed to feed from Chenle for the time being. Chenle looked between Jisung and Jeno and an expression appeared on his face that didn’t seem natural on him - uncomfortable confusion. What you had seen in this past tension filled minute was that he was self assured and rambunctious. Now you wondered if he respected Jeno, regardless of that. You supposed you didn’t really have time to find out, you would be going home as soon as you could walk on your own. Speaking of which-

“I need to use the bathroom again,” you said as Jisung walked out of the house with Chenle right behind him.

“You should try getting up on your own,” Jeno suggested. “The more you sit around the harder it’ll be for your legs to get strong again.” You nodded and used the arm of the couch to haul yourself to your feet. Your knees started shaking again and Jaemin hurried to support you a little, until you felt a little more steady on your feet. Once you did, you tentatively took a tiny step towards the bathroom. Your arms flew out to your sides to help with balance and Jaemin took the mother bird stance, worriedly standing within arm’s length to catch you if you started to collapse. Jeno watched from a few paces away and smiled at you.

“Let’s see if you can get to me, okay? Then we can help if you need support.” You nodded and gritted your teeth, shuffling forward on your weak legs slowly. The good news: you made it to him without falling or using Jaemin’s ever-there assistance. The not so good news: you practically fell into Jeno when you got to him, using his body for support. He helped you find your center of gravity again before acting as a crutch to get you to the bathroom.

“If you need anything,” Jaemin told you, “I’ll be right out here. Don’t over-exert yourself.”

“I’ll be fine, it’s just like one step to the toilet, and there’s a nice strong counter” you assured him, and closed the door behind you as you stepped away from Jeno’s warm strength. Immediately you felt weak again but you reached out to hold on to the edge of the counter while you walked and got safely to the toilet. Your legs screeched at you as you lowered yourself onto the seat and you relaxed a little bit once you were seated. Recovery was going to be hard.

☽༓☾

Two days passed in a blur of pain and people. You met quite a few new people, like the infamous Lucas (who was a giant baby and who adored you), a woman named Joy who had actual red eyes like the legends said, and a man that everyone called Ten. Actually, you weren’t sure if Ten counted as a man. He dropped by Jaemin’s house the third day, right after Jisung and Chenle had just left after getting some flowers from Jaemin’s garden. He walked in on tentacles, long and thick ones that wrapped around the door frame and curled and uncurled as he talked. He muttered something about wishing they would just admit they were gay and asked Jaemin if he happened to have clams. Jaemin, looking amused, supplied him with an entire bucket of the little creatures. Ten gave him a jar in response and flounced out the door without even looking at you.

“Jaemin,” you asked, “what, or who, was that?” Jaemin laughed happily and the sound was so perfect that you wished he would just keep laughing forever.

“Ten is kind of unique,” Jaemin said. “Obviously, he’s got tentacles, which is unusual, and then he’s also not a vampire so none of us can quite figure out how he can get here, to Vahmpyr. But he can see the future, sort of, which is pretty helpful sometimes. Warns us when we’re getting too active and need to be careful of humans. He’s also convinced that Chenle and Jisung are gay and that they just need some guidance.”

You couldn’t decide on a question to ask about these revelations, so you settled for a very intelligent sounding “huh,” and continued your walking around the house. You were doing a lot better now with your exercises and had been able to make it around the room without holding onto anything for support four times now. Jaemin laughed again and you felt yourself actually flinch from the force of his happiness. It was addicting, almost. He went back to his Gaelic scrolls, which he was translating for a man called Kun, who you had yet to meet.

You had a sudden thought and you found yourself needing to talk, to explain about the other day. “Jaemin,” you said, dropping into the seat across from him at the table with a low groan. “The other day when Jisung and Jeno came, you guys were talking outside, you know?” He looked up from the scrolls, giving you a raised eyebrow like ‘so?’

“So I may or may not have listened to your conversation,” you told him, watching as he gave you his full attention, clicking his pen closed and rolling up the scrolls gently. He didn’t look angry, exactly, more apprehensive than anything. Like he was back to worrying about you throwing things and breaking his windows.

“And?” he prompted, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opened them you saw something strange there, like fear. But certainly the immortal and beautiful Jaemin couldn’t be scared of you. You must’ve been interpreting it wrong.

“Well you guys were talking about my smell,” you started slowly. “And, uh, you said that you- that I was causing you pain. And I was just wondering, why keep me around? Why not take me to a human hospital, or just kill me? Or turn me? Why did you make yourself suffer?”

He inhaled deeply and then shivered a little bit. When he spoke, his voice was soft and a little scratchy. “For one, we’ve never had a case like this before. I mean obviously there have been people who have smelled good to me before, but usually I’m able to ignore it. With you… it’s like my vampire body can’t get enough of your scent. It wants to turn you, to keep you, in its selfishness. That part of me is weak, in its greed. And of course I couldn’t kill you, I could barely control myself when Chenle- when he-” Jaemin took a deep breath to steady himself. “He wanted to bite you. You smell good to our whole coven, to everyone who’s met you, at least, which is a first. Thankfully you don’t appeal to Jisung the same way you do to me though, because by now you’d be a full fledged member of the family. Jeno is really good at hiding it, but I could tell he wanted to drink from you too, when you used him to help you walk the other day. I think the only ones not affected by it are Lucas and Ten, although that could be because they’re both gay, I’m not sure.” As an afterthought, he added, “actually Lucas is demisexual but I’ve only ever seen him date guys.”

Skipping over the bit about Lucas’ sexuality, you spoke, horrified. “I’ve been hurting all of you? Seriously, why not just make me go to a regular hospital on Earth?”

“Well it would be a little hard to just give you to a hospital on Earth and be like, ‘here, take this body which may or may not have a vampire bite in its neck,’” Jaemin told you. “And also because I haven’t given up on a patient yet, and I didn’t want the first to be because I can’t control myself. And as to why I didn’t turn you… I didn’t want to take your life away. I still don’t. I think your life is going to be a good one and I don’t want to steal that. That’s why you’re going back tomorrow.”

An empty feeling settled in your chest. “You’re sending me back tomorrow? I still haven’t met so many of your friends though!”

He leveled you with a stare. “The rest of my patients never got to meet any other members of the coven. This was a one and done. You don’t need to know the rest of them. Especially not Yuta or Hyuck, good gracious.”

Who are Yuta and Hyuck? you wanted to ask, but his tone implied the end of the conversation, so you refrained from forming the question. “Okay, uh, I’m going to go sit in the garden.”

Jaemin flashed you a barely-there smile, opening his scrolls again and clicking his pen open. “Mhm. Be careful.”

You went out to sit under a tree in his front yard. Actually there were a lot of trees in his front yard - his house was in a forest. He had neglected to mention that when he first told you about his home and you had found it fascinating how it worked. When you walked out, there wasn’t any path out of the small clearing that housed his cottage. When you imagined a person, though, a tree tunnel would open and you could go any which way you wanted. You had tried imagining your parents the first time Jaemin told you about it and it hadn’t worked. He had explained that it only worked for people on this plane of existence, which made sense. When you had imagined Joy, it had shown you a way to a small town. Jaemin had forbidden you to go anywhere without him in case someone got territorial or hungry and killed you by accident. You respected that, you didn’t want to be murdered, but you wanted to see Lucas, and talk to him. He had fun stories to tell of his best friends. Jaemin seemed a bit huffy. It would be fine to go and see him, right? You’d just go and be back quickly before Jaemin even realized you were gone.

You decided that you just needed to talk to a friend right now and focused your mind on Lucas, finding an apartment building on the outskirts of the largest vampire city you had seen so far. With a little more effort you could find his apartment, although you couldn’t see him. The trees opened and you glanced back at Jaemin’s cottage before setting off.

As you walked down the path you reveled in your ability to walk. After two days of walking in short bursts and trying to regain strength in your legs you were finally able to walk like a normal human being, no flailing arms or stops every few meters to take a break and rest your muscles. It was nice, after so little freedom within Jaemin’s one room cabin. You liked being out here better. You avoided tree limbs and roots as you went, always focused on getting to Lucas. At one point your focus switched from his apartment to a convenience store and you panicked, realizing that you couldn’t go there. There, you might actually get murdered like Jaemin had predicted. He hadn’t nursed you back to health and struggled through your scent just for you to go and get yourself killed. You waited, walking more slowly, until the view at the end of the tunnel switched back to Lucas’ apartment’s front door. You breathed out a sigh of relief and continued on your way.

It was fascinating to you how there was no life in the forest besides the plants. You didn’t hear or see any insects or birds and you wondered if that was because they were afraid of the vampires or if they just didn’t exist on this plane. You decided to ask Lucas when you got to his house. After a while you realized that the image at the end of the tree tunnel was no longer a moving image of where you wanted to go, but rather the actual thing, growing bigger as you progressed down the path. You found yourself increasing your pace in your hurry to see Lucas.

When you left the comfort and relative safety of the forest, you nearly ran across the street separating the apartment complex from the trees. You stumbled at one point and almost fell to the pavement but recovered and kept going. You entered the main door and started up the stairs, still hurrying a little faster than your body thought was necessary. You speed walked until you reached the third floor and started looking through the numbers, looking for a door marked with ‘311,’ the one you had seen in the forest while looking for Lucas. After a good few minutes searching, you located the hallway his apartment was in and walked down it, looking at the odd numbers on the right. They counted down from 39, so you had a ways to go. Part of you wondered if the vampires just didn’t care about your presence, because apparently your scent was pretty strong and you were sure that you were stinking up the whole hallway with your human-ness, but nobody had come to murder you yet.

When you finally got to the door labeled with a faded ‘311,’ you stopped to take a breath before knocking on the door. An uncomfortable pause (where you wondered if Lucas was out after all) later, the door opened and you breathed out a sigh of relief, only for the air to stick in your throat at the sight of a man shorter than Lucas, but much scarier.

He had dark brown hair, obviously lightened but only a bit. It fell over his forehead and stopped just short of his eyes. His lips set in a grim line as he looked over you before they pulled back into what should have been a heart stopping smile, but was instead a snarl, a grimace of distrust and anger. The feature that stuck out most to you were his eyes. You imagined that when he was happy, his eyes would glow with an inner light. Now they were dark and they promised violence.

No sooner had you come to this conclusion before he had you pinned against the opposite wall. “Give me one good reason,” he hissed, “why I shouldn’t just kill you.” His arm pressed into your throat, keeping you pinned against the wall, on your tiptoes to accommodate the height of his arm.

Lucas, I came to see Lucas, you tried to say, but it got stuck on the way out of your throat and instead what came out was a weak, “Lu…” followed by a wispy groan. The man furrowed his brow and moved to hold you against the wall by your arms so you could speak. “Lucas,” you gasped, air rushing back into your body and allowing you to speak once more. “Friend.” The man put you completely down now, on the floor, and you moved to massage your throat before his eyes, dark and threatening, halted your movement. Lucas certainly has a knack for choosing friends, you thought.

“Don’t move,” he growled, “Or I’ll throw you out our living room window. It may not kill you, but it will hurt.” Then he turned around slightly and called, “Xuxi! There’s someone here to see you!”

You heard shuffling inside before the figure of Lucas appeared, tall and thick and seeming like safety incarnate in the presence of someone as terrifying as the man who still had one hand next to your head.

“Yang?” he asked. “Is everything alright?”

The man, Yang, shifted so that Lucas could see your face. “This one just came knocking on our door and said he wanted to see you. Do you know her?”

Lucas gasped slightly and sped up, blurring a little, so that he reached you in less than a second. “Oh my gosh, Y/N, are you okay? Yangyang, this is the human that’s been staying with Jaemin for the past week, she’s my friend!”

“Hey Lucas,” you said weakly, finally reaching up to massage your throat now that you had someone to protect you from being thrown out the living room window. “I’m okay, I think. Just a little lightheaded.” Part of you wanted to add, Is his name Yang or Yangyang? but you figured now wasn’t the time to ask.

A strange look crossed Lucas’ face. “Well, I’m glad you’re alright, come inside and sit down, I’ll get you some water.” You followed him into the apartment, Yang (Yangyang?) behind you. He still slightly scared you and you stayed as close to Lucas as possible. Lucas spoke again as he grabbed a water bottle for you. You noted idly that it was Dasani. “But, uh, didn’t Jaemin tell you to, like, not come out here? So you didn’t get murdered? Cause that could’ve ended a lot worse.”

“Not you too!” you cried, exaggerating the syllables. “I know I could’ve died, but I wanted to see my friend! How hard is that to understand? Did it bother you so much that I wanted to see you?”

Lucas figited uncomfortably. “Well I appreciate that you came to see me, that’s really nice of you. It’s just that Jaemin was right. This really isn’t a safe place for you to be. I mean Yangyang could’ve killed you if he didn’t have such a heart of gold.” You threw a disbelieving glance towards the man in question and he shrugged, mouth tugging up in a mischievous grin.

“Okay, I mean, I can go back if you don’t want me here, I have to be back before Jaemin realizes I’m gone anyway,” you said, drinking more of your water. Yangyang and Lucas both froze.

“You didn’t get his permission?” Lucas asked in a tone that confused you. Was he scared of Jaemin? “Or tell him you were going for a walk? Or anything?”

“No, of course not. He would’ve said no!” you protested unhappily. This was not how you imagined this trip going.

“Okay,” Lucas said. “I’m taking you back right now. Jaemin will- well, he won’t kill me, but he’ll be scarily close if he finds out you came here.”

With a heavy sigh, you stood up. You knew that if he needed to, he could just throw you over his shoulder and carry you all the way back to Jaemin’s cottage. Darned vampire strength. “Fine.”

You got down the hallway and into the stairwell before Lucas tensed up again. “Shoot,” he muttered, looking down the stairs below. You couldn’t hear or see anything, and you were about to tell him so when he sighed and you heard a pitter patter like rain, growing louder by the second.

Moments later Jamin appeared in front of you, pink hair mussed and eyes wild with a mix of fear and anger. For a moment he didn’t even speak, just glared at you. The fear faded from his eyes. When he did speak, the words seemed like poison being spit off the tongue of a snake.

“I can’t believe you,” he seethed. “I kept you in my house, fed you, nursed you back to health. I let you use all of my things and was even going to send you home once you were perfectly healthy again. I gave you one rule. One! Just to keep you safe! And you go and break it. You could have died, Y/N, do you understand that? I did everything in my power to keep you in an environment where you weren’t in danger! I didn’t allow Hyuck to come over, I made sure that you were prepared to meet Lucas and Jeno and even Jisung! But all of my efforts faded to nothing when you opened that doorway to the city. I’m taking you home right now, I can’t bear to keep you here any longer, not when you obviously have no sense of self preservation!”

He picked you up before you could even blink and you felt a sharp wind on your face as he ran home. His steps sounded like raindrops falling on pavement, sharp but small, a pinprick of sound in an otherwise silent stairwell. Lucas had disappeared from view in less than a second and you shut your eyes against the vertigo of being carried at such a speed. Everything blurred, everything was indistinct and most things weren’t even worthy of notice. Jaemin smelled like ink, and you had space in the very back of your mind to wonder if he had spilled his, in his haste to find you. It didn’t seem like a very vampire-like thing to do.

A few moments later you entered the canopy of the forest and every once in a while you heard a stick break under his foot or a rock get catapulted out of the way. Then you felt the sun on your back again and you gasped as Jaemin dumped you onto the warm grass, standing tall before you. He said something in a language you didn’t know - it sounded vaguely like Latin - and the grass fell out from under you as the ground opened up and you fell into space.

☽༓☾

When you woke up the next morning to your alarm, you wondered briefly if your entire experience with Jaemin and the other vampires was a dream. The puncture wounds that had been on your neck were utterly nonexistent, and there was no evidence on you that you had even left the comfort of your bed. On the other hand, you had clear memories of your time in Vahmpyr, short as it was. You remembered how it smelled and how the trees had felt as you walked outside. You remembered the feeling of the cool granite of the bathroom countertop. Mostly you remembered being with Lucas, Jeno, Jisung, and Chenle. You remembered almost dying at the hands of Lucas’ roommate and you remembered the terrifying flight in Jaemin’s arms.

Jaemin.

You grimaced at yourself in the mirror and spit out your toothpaste. There was no way your mind could have made up someone as excruciatingly kind and beautiful as Jaemin was. At the same time you felt anger bubble up inside of you. He hadn’t even given you a chance to say goodbye - he had just put you through to your Earthly self without any words between the two of you. You hadn’t said goodbye to Lucas or Jeno either, nor had you seen the rest of your new acquaintances. The anger flared, hot against your insides, and you could swear you actually felt your chest twinge. You spat out the last of your toothpaste and replaced your toothbrush in its holder, going to get ready for your day.

The next few days were spent alternately missing the simplicity of life on Vahmpyr and being angry at Jaemin. Assignments piled onto your shoulders and in addition to that, you discovered some sort of disconnect between you and the part of you that had stayed on Earth while you were out. That part of you seemed to dismiss your time in Vahmpyr as something it had dreamed up all on its own. It didn’t acknowledge you and liked to take control of your body whenever you weren’t paying full attention to it. Every time it did that you felt the twinge in your chest again, except it got more and more painful. You started having headaches that the other part of you didn’t seem to feel but which pressed against your skull like tiny war hammers thudding into the bone by your temples and occasionally your eyes.

Your vision would go blurry and you started having lapses of consciousness, only to wake up and find yourself doing just fine with your other part in charge. During these lapses you would dream of being in Vahmpyr again, and you saw Lucas smiling with Yangyang, Chenle rolling his eyes at Jisung before hugging him tightly. Other men you didn’t know and other women you hadn’t met also flew across the screen of your eyes but they disappeared quickly. Ten even passed by once, haughtily scrolling past everyone until he sidled up to a tall man with long blond hair who smiled down at him and pressed a gentle kiss to one of Ten’s tentacles. A man with red hair and an eyebrow slit served coffee to a man who chewed like a rabbit. A group of three guys held up a sign that said “Go Taemin!” as a group played football. A woman in a suit jacket over jean shorts sat with a box of papers, crying. Joy played a game with other girls where they tried to push lockers over on each other. Everything (with the exception of the lockers) looked like fun. It was better than Earth, at any rate. Every night you went to bed wondering if you might just die by morning and leave the other half of yourself behind to control the body. You were just along for the ride at this point.

The evening of your fourth day back on Earth you went to sit outside the dorm building on a bench, just for some fresh air. For once you had control of the body and you let your head tip back, closing your eyes and just feeling. The bench pressed up against your back in a way that hurt slightly, but your body had been wracked with pain for two days straight and it didn’t ache so much as behind your eyes or inside your skull. The evening breeze blew across your eyelids and brought with it the scent of sun-warmed dirt.

It smelled like Jaemin, that first morning you woke up in his house. When he had helped you across the cottage towards the bathroom and been outlined by the sun, when he had made you soup and sat with you on the couch while he explained where you were and what he was.

Your body shook with a particularly painful pound on the inside of your ribs. You let yourself relax against the bench again and the sensations enveloped you once more. You felt yourself let go of your body on Earth and float away, less falling and more weightlessness, floating away on a wind that smelled of sun on dirt and felt like arms wrapping around you while rain fell on summer-warmed pavement. You floated away on this wind and it lifted you endlessly until you nodded off, finally free of the pains that had kept you company for the past few days. You wondered if perhaps you had died of it, if being back on Earth had perhaps been more detrimental to you than beneficial.

Then your back hit something hard and the breath was knocked from your lungs, waking you up again and telling you that something had gone very very wrong or very very well. You gasped air back into your body and rolled over weakly, now in a body you recognized as the one you inhabited on Vahmpyr. Grass poked your inner arms and you pushed yourself up to sitting with your legs crossed. You massaged your chest as you inhaled and found yourself miraculously free of pain, aside from the slight burn of breath inhaled too quickly after loss of oxygen. The war hammers in your head had vacated the premises and the aches of your ribs had subsided, making it easier to breath and just sit without drawing in pained gasps.

You registered a return of cold as a shadow fell over you and looked up to see none other than Chenle, with Jisung behind him. Did they never go anywhere without each other? Well, besides hunting.

“Y/N?” He gaped down at you, and you looked back up at him.

“The one and only,” you said, before you realized that didn’t apply to you anymore. “Well, one of only two in existence.”

He laughed that weird dolphin laugh he had again and reached out a hand to help you up. You took it, standing unsteadily on two feet that didn’t ache the moment you put weight on them. “What’re you doing back here? Jaemin-hyung said he sent you back to Earth.”

You feel the corners of your mouth tug down almost instinctively at the mention of Jaemin. “He did. I don’t think Earth agreed with me,” you told him. Jisung walked forward and looked you up and down.

“Maybe we should take you back to Jaeminnie hyung, he’ll know what to do.”

You groaned. “I really don’t want to deal with him at the moment.”

“We can take him to Kun-ge,” Chenle interjected smoothly. “He’ll know better than Jaemin-hyung anyway, he’s been a doctor and a vampire longer.” A side of Chenle appeared that you hadn’t seen yet, a side that took charge in a way that wasn’t just insulting anyone near him. Maybe he wasn’t so bad after all. He took your hand with one of his and grabbed Jisung’s arm with the other.

“Come on, let’s go see Kun-ge!”

☽༓☾

Kun, as it happened, lived in the same building as Lucas. Actually he lived one apartment over, behind the door labeled ‘313.’ When he opened the door he seemed strangely unsurprised to see you there, just breathed out a sigh and let you in. He had nice light brown hair that worked well with his skin tone and eyes that smiled even when he wasn’t. He had this aura of parenting around him, like he took care of everyone he knew. It was comfortable to be around him from the start. Once Chenle had explained where he found you, Kun sat you down and asked exactly what had happened.

“Listen,” he said seriously. “I’ve never seen a human react the way you did. Nobody has ever come back, from what I know. We have to figure out exactly what happened, why you came back, and how to get you back to Earth.”

You inhaled deeply, relishing in the painless breath. “Okay, uh, I’m not really sure where to start,” you told him.

“Tell me about how you got sent home.”

“Okay. So, I left Jaemin’s cottage to come and see Lucas and I guess Jaemin is a lot scarier when he gets mad, because he was not happy when he found out I had left. He did this, like, superfast running thing, very Twilight, and carried me to this random clearing, I guess, I didn’t look around much.” You paused to let Kun write that down on his very professional looking clipboard, but he waved you on. Right, he was a vampire. He could write stuff fast.

“So he sort of dumped me on the ground and said something in a language I didn’t know, it sounded like Latin but I’m not sure. Then the ground sort of opened up and I fell and fell and fell until I rejoined my, uh, Earthly body.” You paused to take a breath and think about how to convey what happened when you got back to Earth.

“When I got back there was this weird disconnect with my body. Like, uh, there was me, in my body, and there was also this other part of me, the part of me that stayed behind when I came here the first time. That other part sort of took the main control of the body we lived in, and it felt like I was along for the ride. It liked to pretend that I wasn’t there, that my time here in Vahmpyr wasn’t real. It was weird. Then a little into my stay, I started getting these super bad pains all over my body.”

Kun interrupted you by holding up a finger. “How long were you home before the pains started?”

You thought back, struggling to pinpoint when they had started. “I think maybe a little longer than twenty four hours? When I got back I woke up in that body, and about one sleep later I started getting the pains, which would be like twenty five hours. Twenty four and a half, maybe. At first it was just these weird twinges in my chest, like my ribs were popping every time I took a breath, then it progressed. I got these horrible headaches, and my chest hurt all the time, and walking felt like attacking my feet, and my neck was always super achy. The thing is, my other half didn’t feel any of that. It was just my half of our consciousness. Then about on my fourth day back I went outside and sat on the bench outside my dorm. I laid back and, uh, it felt like I died or something. I just felt my consciousness leave the body and I guess the other half is still there living down there and now I’m here.”

Kun, Chenle, and Jisung all sat on the couch together, Kun looking over his notes while the other two guys just sat in silence. After a minute Kun spoke. “I don’t really know what happened to you, but I’m almost certain that your connection to your human self is gone. Or at least, your Earthly self. I don’t think we can send you back anymore, I’m sorry.” He looked at you, eyes full of remorse. You expected to mirror that feeling, but you discovered that it didn’t bother you so much. The other half of yourself would keep all of your friends and family from having to mourn you, and you could stay here, painless.

“I’m actually kind of glad about that,” you told them, and Chenle’s head snapped from picking at his jeans to look at you.

“Glad?” he demanded, incredulous. “To stay here?”

“Well yeah, I mean I was in pain most of the time I was back on Earth so it’s not like I’m eager to go back there. Plus, since I didn’t actually die nobody has to mourn me. And part of the time I was like… seeing Vahmpyr. Like is Ten dating this super tall guy with blonde hair? And Joy was pushing lockers over on her friends? And you two!” You turned an accusatory finger at Jisung and Chenle. “You two are adorable together!”

Jisung sighed. “Not you too…”

Kun shushed him. “You could see what was going on here in Vahmpyr?”

“Well, sort of,” you told him. “I saw that Lucas and Yangyang were having, like, a picnic?”

Kun’s eyebrows furrowed and he muttered, “I knew they had one without me.”

“I also saw this guy with red hair giving coffee to a man who sort of chewed like a bunny. And there was this group of three guys holding up a sign that said “Go Taemin!” I think, and I guess Taemin must have been playing football with the others I could see, although I couldn’t recognize any of the people playing. Oh, and there was this lady with really pretty hair who had a box of papers and she was just, like, sitting there and crying. She had the part of her hair near her neck bleached and the outer layers were still black, and she was wearing a suit jacket with jean shorts, which is kind of a weird combination.”

Kun looked over his notes. “That’s really interesting. All of those things have happened since you left, definitely. Joy and her friends like to play games where they try to kill each other, because they’re all immortal. The red haired man was probably Taeyong, and the bunny man would be Doyoung. Ten is dating Johnny, and yes, he is pretty tall and has blonde hair. I haven’t seen Taemin-hyung in a while so I don’t know if he’s playing football again or not. I don’t know about the woman with the cool hair either.”

“Definitely Taeyeon-noona,” Jisung interjected. “She broke up with her boyfriend a few days ago, and she does have hair dyed like that right now.”

Kun raised his eyebrows in curiosity. “Huh, I hope she’s doing okay. Actually I think maybe we should worry more about whoever she broke up with, she’s not exactly good with breakups.”

As though it’s a secret, Jisung’s next words came out in a whisper, and he leaned closer to Chenle and Kun. You had to strain a little to hear. “I heard it was a human. He, like, got super insecure about the fact that she wasn’t aging with him and broke up with her. It’s killing her. She really liked that guy.”

“Why did she get with him in the first place?” Chenle sounded absolutely confused. “She knew it would end like this. That’s how the last two ended.”

“I don’t know, but now I’m really worried for the guy,” said Kun. “We might have to cover up for her.” The implications of his words sank in and you made a small sound. All three men snapped their heads up and it looked as though they forgot you were there.

“Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry Y/N! Do you have anywhere to stay where you’ll be safe for at least a few days? Jaemin’s cottage should be pretty easy to stay hidden in.”

“She doesn’t want to go and see him after what happened,” Chenle supplied helpfully. “I’m taking her back to my place once we’re done here.” Kun appeared to consider that, and then nodded his approval.

“That sounds alright. Tomorrow we can go out and get her some things to make her stay more comfortable. Maybe we can find one of the Outer Plots to put her on.”

“Outer Plots?” you asked, because the way he said it demanded capitalization in your head.

“They’re sort of exactly what they sound like,” Kun explained. “There are these pieces of land around the edges of the towns that nobody really lives on but they’re solid places to live, if we can get a good one. It’s a little bit like Jaemin’s land out there, lot’s of forest, so we can set up tree tunnels for you to get here fast, if you need to.”

You nodded. “That does sound pretty good. I don’t know what I’m going to do though, it’s not like I have all that many hobbies. I was midway through getting my bachelor’s when I left.”

“That’s fine,” Chenle said. “I have plenty of things to keep you entertained, and we can get some of the other guys to keep you company if we’re busy. There are a lot of us with a lot of open time. I also have a ton of extra textbooks from learning languages, so if you want you can spend your life becoming fluent in Japanese, Latin, French, German, Scottish Gaelic, Hawaiian, or one of the others I have. Or multiple, if you learn fast.”

“Thanks Chenle.” He wasn’t actually so bad, you thought. He had brought you to Kun and he was offering to let you use his house and his things. “I might just take you up on that.”

“You guys should probably leave now, actually,” Kun said. “At human speeds you’ll get home right on time.”

Chenle checked his watch and nodded. “He’s right. We should get going.”

You thanked Kun again and Chenle led you out the door, Jisung following behind you. You separated ways with him once you left the apartment building, his figure disappearing swiftly into the trees. Once you blinked there was no finding him again.

You walked behind Chenle quietly, choosing to observe your surroundings. You didn’t see much in the way of low quality or old houses here. It seemed as though a lower class had been eradicated entirely and the vampires could choose where they wanted to live. When you asked him how that was possible, Chenle laughed that peculiar screech of his and said, “when you’re reborn into a family of beings that has been around for millenia, you accumulate some shared wealth. Especially when some of the coven members have doctorate degrees and work on Earth full time, and some of us had familial connections as well, like money left in wills and such.”

You nodded. “So you guys are basically like the elite class of the universe.”

“Pretty much. My house is probably the biggest you’ll ever be in, because I like to splurge a little bit. Unfortunately you might get lost, though, and if you do, just call for me. I’ll make sure to be listening all night in case you need me.”

“It’s that big?” you asked in disbelief. “Do you live in Buckingham Palace?”

He grinned, showing off his incisors. “Bigger.”

“And you live alone?”

“Well, I haven’t always. Jisung and I will probably have sleepovers for all of eternity, and whenever a new coven starts they stay with me for a few days while they get their own living quarters set up, but for the most part , yes. I don’t actually spend a ton of time in the house, it’s more just for the sensation of owning a building that large.”

You shook your head. “As a broke college student, I find that completely unfair. I was working two jobs just to keep my head above water and you’re on this alternate plane just chilling in your house that’s bigger than Buckingham Palace.”

He smiled again. “Nobody said life was fair, Y/N. Nobody.”

☽༓☾

Three days and a shocking amount of Gaelic verbs later (you only got lost in Chenle’s palace four times), a house was ready for you to move in. Johnny and Ten had furnished it for you, and Chenle had explained that the two of them were the stylists of the coven, for the most part. The mysterious Yuta had also taken part in finding high quality fabrics to fit their vision. You had thanked the whole group of vampires who helped with the house profusely for not only building said house, but also for getting you a bunch of comfortable furniture. They had smiled and said it was their pleasure and all of the typical things, but what really stood out was Ten’s reaction. He had barely paid attention to you - he barely paid attention to anyone besides Johnny and Yangyang, who he called their baby - this whole time. When you had thanked him, however, he wrapped all but four of his tentacles around you in a surprisingly dry hug.

“It’s refreshing to have you around,” he had told you. “I’m glad we could help you get settled.”

Later as you reflected on it, you figured that it probably got pretty boring to know what was going to happen all of the time, and maybe you had disrupted the usual happenings of his visions and the vampires in Vahmpyr. Maybe you made other people happy too, to have a new person around.

One person who didn’t seem thrilled to have you back was Jaemin. Every time you made eye contact with him (twice, over the three days), he grimaced and turned away like the sight of you hurt him. Maybe he was mad that you were back within scenting range. He wouldn’t get near you, so it wasn’t like you could ask.

While settling into your new normal, you discovered that Chenle was actually a good friend. His love language was insults and pointed jabs, but he actually did care for his friends quite a lot. He had watched Jaemin from across your front yard as they were laying down grass seed and sighed.

“I wish he would just talk to you,” he told you sadly. “I’ve never, in all our years together, seen him like this. I’m not sure anyone has, even Taeil-hyung.” He didn’t elaborate on who Taeil was, and you didn’t press him. Was Jaemin really so mad that he couldn’t even look at you?

“Well,” you had said, “I don’t want to talk to him. He dumped me through an interplanar tunnel without warning me and yelled at me like the world was ending when I took a walk. I don’t think there’s much to be talked about. He must hate me.” Over Chenle’s shoulder, you had seen Jaemin flinch slightly. How strange. Part of you hoped that he felt the same pain that you did, a sort of ache that told you that you were unwanted. Another part of you murmured quietly in the back of your mind that you were being petty. You had chosen to ignore it for the time being. You were being petty, but so was he. He had thousands of years on you, so he should be the mature one, right?

“I don’t think he hates you. I think you both need to grow up and talk like adults,” Chenle had said flatly, orange hair seeming to flash in the sun. Jaemin sort of curled in on himself.

“Tell that to Mister Millenia before you lecture me on growing up,” you had replied. Then you reopened your Gaelic textbook and pretended to bury yourself in it, blatantly ignoring Chenle’s judgemental gaze.

“Fine,” he had muttered angrily. “You can both suffer for all I care.” Then he had stalked off and started pounding fence posts into the dirt so hard that Jeno had to tell him to take a break before he broke them.

You found yourself thinking about that moment as you walked through the trees, ironically on your way to see Jaemin. Since you had close to nothing to do , you had offered yourself up as an errand person to anyone that would hire and found yourself working for Kun running scrolls across Vahmpyr while he translated and examined them. It kept you busy and in shape, and Kun seemed happy with your service. This morning he had sent you to get the Scottish scroll back from Jaemin, along with a few other documents to pick up and drop off. You had saved this one for last, procrastinating on having to see him again. As his cottage came into full view, you sighed, preparing yourself for a cold shoulder and a very quick visit.

“Jaemin?” you called, knocking on the front door. It was closed for once, usually he kept it open for better air circulation. A moment later the door opened and there he stood, in all his cotton candy colored glory.

“Y/N? What’re you doing here?”

“Kun sent me, he wants that Scottish scroll back. He said he hopes you’re done translating it since you’re had it for a few weeks now,” you replied, willing your voice to stay professional. You were here for the scroll. When Jaemin didn’t reply, you looked up at him. “So? Where is it?”

“I don’t know why he sent you out like this, but I sent that scroll back three days ago, on our agreed upon date. I know he got it, because he sent me back a thank you with those little stickers he likes to use.”

“Oh. Um, I’ll just go then,” you muttered, turning around as you spoke. “Sorry I bothered you.”

Suddenly a hand was wrapped around your own, keeping you in place. Your breath caught in your throat, remembering the last time that had happened with a vampire. All that came out of Jaemin’s mouth, however, was, “Can I talk to you? Please?”

“Jaemin, please let me go,” you said, trying to keep your tone even. His hand released you immediately and you stepped a pace away from him and turned around so that you could see his face. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Well, uh, do you want some tea? I have some inside…” It was clear he hadn’t expected you to actually agree and he needed to collect his thoughts, so you nodded and he led you inside, sitting you on the familiar couch while he busied himself in the kitchen.

“I actually wanted to apologize,” Jaemin said after a minute. “I worried so much about protecting you that I forgot to let you enjoy your time here. It scared me how good you were at adjusting to this world, how much you liked being with Lucas and my other friends… I’m not used to humans reacting positively.” The kettle whistled and he took a moment to pour water into the mugs, steam rising gently from them in silvery whisps.

Once he poured the water, he continued speaking. “I wanted to make sure you knew that it wasn’t all fun and games here. I didn't want you to go looking for a place in our community because I was worried that you’d get killed. Vampires are pretty possessive of their property on Vahmpyr, for the most part, and you went right into one of the biggest apartment complexes within a day’s travelling distance - and that’s vampire distance, not human distance. Lucas told me about what happened with Yangyang, and I almost tore Yang’s arm off, I was so mad. He could have actually murdered you, and I couldn’t stomach the thought. What if Lucas hadn’t been home? What if Yangyang hadn’t given you that one moment to explain yourself? What if you had met another one of us on the stairs, without any protection? It terrified me to consider.” He walked over, a mug carried in each hand, and sat on the couch, leaving a large space in between you. It was strangely reminiscent of that first day, when he had explained Vahmpyr to you over soup.

“Of course,” Jaemin started, and you refocused. “That was only after I had sent you home, that he told me about that. When I dumped you in that tunnel, it was just fear of you being unsafe that made me so mad. The fact that you would willingly put yourself in danger, when I valued you so highly? Inconceivable. And yet, it happened. So I made another big mistake: I sent you home. I thought you would be better off there, regardless of what was happening. I knew you were healthy enough to walk to the city, so I thought you were fine. Apparently not. I heard from Chenle and Kun what happened to you back on Earth and it broke another part of me apart. I hurt you, in sending you back, not just in temporary emotional pain, but in physical pain that persisted through your entire stay. We still don’t know why you reacted the way you did, but it scared me to hear of it. I had made yet another mistake that could have killed you.” He paused to take a sip of his tea, and you did too. It was pleasant, not too hot and not too cold, just warming up your insides.

“Then the last straw came when you said I must hate you…” Jaemin’s voice broke slightly. “If anything, it’s the exact opposite, I realized I missed you more than I should, given you should be just a patient. I wanted to hug you the second I saw you, but you looked so mad to see me that I couldn’t do it. I was literally building a house for you and still couldn’t look you in the eyes for more than a moment. So I went home in shame, knowing that you were right, with thousands of years under my belt, I should be the more mature one. I decided that the next time I saw you, I would talk to you, no matter the circumstances. I couldn’t have you keep living thinking that I hated you. I didn’t actually expect you to come in when I asked. I thought I’d have to follow you through the woods, honestly.”

He fell silent, took another sip of his tea, and for the first time, you spoke. “I really didn’t want to talk to you. I wanted you to realize how much I hurt from your actions, but I think maybe I took that a little too far. I knew you were protecting me, but I really wanted to see somebody, and I knew you wouldn’t let me out, so I ran away. I didn’t really know what I was getting into. I probably should have asked you to accompany me, at least. Not my finest moment.”

Jaemin laughed weakly, taking another sip of tea. “Not mine either. I should have trusted you more.”

“And I shouldn’t have run off without even asking for your help..”

He smiled at you, that gorgeous little smile that made your heart smile back.

“Friends?” you asked.

He hesitated for only a moment, a strange sort of disappointment flashing across his face, before he was extending his hand to meet yours. “Friends.”

You grinned at him, finishing your tea. “Great. Now I need to go yell at Kun for sending me out to see you when I didn’t need to.”

“Isn’t it good that he did?” Jaemin asked with a confused frown on his face.

“Well yes, but it was a very Cupid-like thing to do, wasn’t it? I don’t tolerate my friends trying to play Cupid with myself and my other friends.” You stood up and walked your empty tea cup to the kitchen. “Do you want to come?”

He laughed. “No, you can just tell me all about it tomorrow, okay?”

You nodded. “Alright.”

You walked out into the cool twilight and started going towards Kun’s house. He had a big storm coming.

☽༓☾

A few days later, you were sitting in Jaemin’s cottage again, Gaelic textbook open on your lap. Since he was close to fluent in the language, he was helping you learn it. It wasn’t an extraordinarily difficult language, but some of the words were hard to pronounce and he had been eager to help you.

“Look here,” he said, pointing at some words on the page. “Say this for me.”

“Tha gaol agam ort,” you replied. He grinned.

“That’s how it’s written, but not how it’s said. Okay, now listen to me pronounce it. ‘Ha geul akeum orsht’. Repeat that for me.”

“‘Ha geul akeum orsht’? That’s how you say that?” you demanded. “This is like French! They don’t spell things anywhere close to how they’re said!”

“Unfortunately, most languages don’t. The same goes for Korean verb conjugations and English words and, yes, French everything, but it’s just learning new rules. After a while you understand it. I promise that you’ll get it eventually. You have the rest of your life.”

You looked over at him suddenly, questions rising to the forefront over Gaelic words. “Am I really going to stay here forever? Am I never going to see Earth again, just sit here as a useless human surrounded by powerful and immortal vampires, until I die?”

He seemed surprised by the questions. “I’m not sure any of us had really thought about it,” he said carefully.

“You all had just accepted the fact that I was stuck on your plane of existence with nothing worth doing to do? When am I going to use Scottish Gaelic, Jaemin? When will this actually come in handy, except to distract me? I’m here to do nothing, and the moment I go back to Earth, I start suffering. What am I meant to do here, Jaem?”

Jaemin gently lifted the textbook from your lap and put in on his coffee table, then pulled you into his side for a hug. You snuggled into him, inhaling the scent of sunshine and warm earth. Comfort.

“I don’t know exactly how to make you feel better,” Jaemin murmured from somewhere above your head. “But we all like having you around, you know that. It’s nice to have someone young around. We haven’t turned a human in about thirty years, so the novelty has worn off, and here we have this beautiful creature who is new in so many ways. You’re refreshing, and you’re human, so you’ll continue to be refreshing.”

“Well, thank you,” you said, muffled in his side. “But still, I don’t feel like I have anything worth doing here. You can all do anything I can do, just ten times faster. I have no unique skills or brains or anything. So what am I meant to do? I can’t even go spy on the other humans or anything because I can’t go back to Earth!”

Jaemin shifted you a little bit in his arms and started rubbing your shoulder softly. “Is there anything you particularly enjoy doing? Maybe you could do art, or gardening? Or I have this book of old forms of witchcraft?”

You turned to face him. “You have a book of witchcraft sitting around?”

He released you and rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I found a papyrus scroll in this ruined Egyptian city, and I kept it just ‘cause it was cool. Then I learned hieroglyphics so that I could translate it and made a copy. Unfortunately, witchcraft is… not my strong suit, and I’m somewhat afraid of giving it away in case I never see it again. I spent a lot of time and energy on that translation.”

“And you want me to use it?” you asked, confused. Why on earth would he give it to you if he didn’t trust the perfectly composed vampires around him? “I mean it sounds super cool, but aren’t you worried about it being in my hands? I am a human, after all.”

“Well-”

Jaemin was cut off at that moment by a sharp knock on the door. At least, you assumed it was a knock, it sounded a little bit more like a wet thwap than a knock. Jaemin blurred slightly as he ran over to the door and opened it, revealing cloudy skies dropping rain onto a harried-looking Ten.

“Ten-hyung?” he asked, sounding as confused as you felt. “I’d say this is a nice surprise, but why are you here? I thought today was your Earth day? Is everything alright?”

“Yes,” Ten said, gasping slightly as he spoke. “I ran straight here from the Pacific.” You took a second to think about the fact that Ten was swimming in the Pacific Ocean before refocusing on him. “-future just completely shifted, a few minutes ago. Y/N-” He turned to face you completely. “Whatever you two just did, it caused you to become a vampire in the future.”

“But we were just talking?” you told him, confused. “It wasn’t like Jaem was about to bite me.” You turned to Jaemin. “Right?”

He looked at you solemnly. “If you were going to have been bitten by me, it would have already happened. Ten-hyung, are you sure that she’s a vampire in your future? Can you see more details?”

Ten closed his eyes briefly like he was trying to focus, and in the meantime a tentacle wrung the salt and rain water out of his hair. Jaemin wrinkled his nose at the growing puddle. Ten spoke, eyes fluttering open slowly. “In the parts I can see, she’s covered in this, like, tree? It’s a little bit fuzzy. It’s green, and looks like it has brown splotches like branches. Maybe a tree falls on her or something. Anyway, you take one look at him and bite her. She goes limp... After that? Fuzzy scenes of her waking up and you taking her running. Like, really running. Vampire running.”

Jaemin took a shaky breath. “Okay, I don’t know why our conversation would have caused a tree to fall on her in the future. We were talking about, like, Earth and art and stuff. Oh, and my witchcraft book.”

Ten’s eyes refocused on him, narrowing slightly. “You’re going to give her your witchcraft book after not letting me touch it? That’s a little underhanded.” His eyes narrow briefly before looking at you. “But maybe that’s it. You’ll just have to make sure that she doesn’t practice any witchcraft under the cover of trees. Otherwise I think you’ll be fine. I’ll keep you updated.”

“Thanks Ten,” you murmured. “For warning us and stuff.”

“Of course. Now I need to go back to the Pacific. Ta ta!” Ten waved to you and walked out the door.

“Well,” Jaemin said, “that’s some news, huh?”

“Yeah. Do you think that it’s okay for me to practice witchcraft with this in my future?”

“I do. I think you’ll be fine. We’ll keep you as safe as we possibly can, and if you become a vampire… at least it won’t be because I gave in. I’ll still be strong.”

“Jaem, I don’t think that was ever in question.”

“It was for me.” His voice went dark momentarily, then he brightened up again. “At any rate, I think we can safely teach you some things that’ll keep life interesting.”

You grinned. “Then let’s get started.”

☽༓☾

You were surprised at how easily witchcraft came to you, in the beginning. Jaemin insisted that you had some sort of gift with it, and as much as you told him that was silly, it seemed possible. You could easily understand instructions on Jaemin’s careful translations that even he couldn’t decipher. You gave up on Gaelic after a while, focused more on learning the original Egyptian Hieroglyphs of the spells and potions. You trusted Jaemin’s precise translation, but there was something unique about seeing an instruction in a new language and being able to understand it.

Days turned to weeks as you experimented with the materials growing in and around Vahmpyr. Taeil, who you eventually met, turned out to be a valuable resource. He was an avid collector of ancient written works, including but not limited to an original Greek copy of The Odyssey, Chinese bamboo books saved from the book burnings of Emperor Qin Shi Huang, and an exact replica of the Rosetta Stone. Taeil must have been ancient himself to have all of these valuables, but he still had the energy of the far younger members of their coven, which amazed you. He showed you different specialties of different cultures within witchcraft, ideas born from scrolls and tablets, bamboo strips and wax blocks. It was far more information than you could ever decipher or use during your short human life, but every day you got better, starting out small with poultices that you had to injure yourself to try and ward spells that exhausted you but could make your home more secure than any in Vahmpyr (or on Earth).

At one point Chenle gifted you a book covered in old stains and strangely familiar drawings that you started to use before abruptly realizing that it was an old chemistry textbook. You invited him over that afternoon and whacked him over the head with the thick pages. He told you with a disgruntled look that he put a lot of effort into that, thank you very much. And besides, chemistry was a magic in itself. (His words, not yours.) After that you made sure to thoroughly inspect any gifts you received from the more mischievous family members.

Lucas came over and helped you set up more complicated equipment that you couldn’t lift, like a big cauldron, which you actually did use on the regular after you learned how to use it, and after some consideration you set up a chemistry station for the odd experiment. At this point your house was more magical items than actual living space, something that Kun was quick to point out when he came over.

“You know, you should really be more careful about having all of these powders and dusts and-” He cut himself off with a distasteful wrinkle of his nose. “Things.” He pursed his lips, looking at you. “We don’t really know what these things will do to you in the long run. You have to be careful.”

“Yeah, yeah,” you responded distractedly, making his coffee and a drink for yourself. “Maybe I’ll clean it all up sometime, but you know I’m awfully busy these days.” You used a spoon to stir in the milk and sugar, tapping the metal against the china in a soft clink.

He sighed tiredly. “Your health is less important than staying busy?”

You gave him a look that you hoped conveyed your need to stay busy, to continuously learn and improve. “Keeping my schedule full keeps me healthy, Kun. At least mentally.”

Kun didn’t look impressed by your reasoning. “I think your mental health will go down pretty quickly if you get sick and can’t do anything because you’re stuck in bed twenty-four-seven.”

You gave a sigh of your own at that. “And as always,” you announced to the room at large, “Doctor Kun gives amazing advice that I shouldn’t ignore but probably will.”

Y/n,” he said in a warning tone. “Seriously. You need to be careful! No human has ever lived here for so long, and I worry about you catching some mysterious illness that nobody has ever heard of!”

“Kun, I will do my best to keep myself healthy. I’ve put every kind of ward that I can around my house to protect me, I have magically circulated and cleaned air, I have literal superhumans to protect me from anything else, and I’m happy here! I finally have something to contribute. Maybe someday I’ll find some concoction or enchantment that will let me visit Earth, even. I just don’t know. But I’m going to keep trying.”

He took his coffee out of your grasp and walked back into the living room, which housed your indoor plants, magical and earthly. “That’s all I can ask,” he said, voice betraying his disappointment in that fact. “I’ll still give you monthly checkups for a while though, just to make sure.

“Can’t Jaemin take care of me?” you asked, thinking of Jaemin with his warm smile and caring words and the smell of sun on dirt and- well. Jaemin felt like safety in a person. Kun was wonderful, but Jaemin was just that little bit better, that little bit more comfortable to be around.

“He could,” Kun replied after taking a sip of coffee. “But I know he’s been busy lately though, he’s been on Earth for a few days checking on all of his businesses and stocks and his human personas. On the other hand, I hardly go back to Earth for more than a twelve hour shift here and there.”

“I understand.”

“Plus, I’m about two thousand years older than Jaemin, I have a lot of experience.”

“How old are you?” Two thousand years older than Jaemin would make Kun… pretty darn old.

Kun grinned. “I was around before and after Jesus came to Earth. I was around before the Terracotta Army was built. I was born in China circa when the Hanging Gardens of Babylon are said to have been built. Taeil-hyung turned me into a vampire when I was twenty five, and I’ve been twenty five ever since. None of us know when he was born. When you’re as old as he is, even with a vampire’s memory, history starts to blend together. He says he remembers the Pyramids at Giza going up, though, and that was after he had been a vampire for what he thinks was a few hundred years. He’s literally prehistoric.”

“Wow,” was all you could think to say. No wonder Taeil had so many artifacts. He was one. Kun was too, for that matter. And Jaemin… Jaemin would have been born AD, but how far into it? You asked Kun this question and he chuckled.

“Jaemin was born in fourteen forty two. He was twenty when Jeno turned him, and he’s still twenty, five hundred years later.”

“Who turned Taeil, then? I can hardly imagine a vampire older than him, even.”

“We’re not sure. Whoever it was is so unimaginably old now that even I can’t comprehend it. But whoever the original vampire was must have turned a whole lot of people. There are dozens more vampires just within our small community, and an entire plane full of them. From what I can tell, Taeil isn’t even the oldest. There’s this man who lives in the mountains by himself, and from what I hear, he hasn’t been seen by another vampire in nearly three thousand years. He’s almost a myth around here anymore. Taeil knew him back when Vahmpyr was sparsely populated, and he told us that the man - his name is Jinyoung Park - is older than him by so many years that he is to Taeil as Taeil is to me. He probably lived before Mesopotamia existed, even, or was right at the beginning of it. Before him, we have no idea who the first vampire was. If that vampire is still alive, he she or they hasn't been seen since, well, before living memory. If they still exist that would mean that vampires have been around since before modern humanity. I really wish we knew.”

“I wish you knew too,” you breathed. You had never really considered that immortality meant that the same vampires who existed before the Pyramids at Giza still lived among humanity today. It was mind boggling. The history in just their brains alone could fill thousands of textbooks and solve history’s greatest mysteries. But they couldn’t show themselves to the humans without risk. Even the people that they bit and sent back to Earth wouldn’t dare talk about their experiences, for fear of sounding crazy. Their gift to the world would never be wrapped up in gold tissue paper and presented with the proper awe, but here you were, in this modern metropolis of history. It truly hurt your brain to consider everything that came with that sort of age.

Just then a yell came from outside. “Kun-ge! Are you with Y/N?!” It sounded suspiciously like a panicked Yangyang. He never got panicked.

Kun stood up and hurried over to the front door, blurring in his hurry. “What happened?” he demanded.

“Well, uh, we may or may not have set Yuta’s house on fire…” Yangyang’s voice trailed off as Kun’s face reacted. First his eyebrows raised, then his mouth dropped open, and finally his eyes squeezed shut before reopening after a moment.

“You did what?”

Yangyang’s voice was small. “We set Yuta’s house on fire?” His voice was so high and squeaky that it sounded more like a question than a statement.

“Who is ‘we’?”

“Me, and Hyuck, and Taemin-hyung.”

“Oh my,” Kun said, running a hand over his face and through his hair. “I am going to murder Taemin-hyung.” He turned to Yangyang. “I might murder you and Donghyuck too.”

“We didn’t mean to,” Yangyang said. “It just happened.”

“You didn’t mean to set Yuta’s house on fire? How do you accidentally set someone’s house on fire?”

“You put on an impromptu fire show right next to the house, mess up a trick, and accidentally throw a flaming baton on their house. It was surprisingly easy. Anyway, I know that you would know what to do. You and Y/N both.”

Kun ran his hand through his hair again. You watched as a few light brown strands flew to the carpet with the force of it. “Y/N, do you have anything for flaming houses?”

You looked around your living room as though that would help you remember whether you did or not. “I think so, let me check my storage room,” you muttered, already dashing away. You did, in fact, have something that you loosely translated from the Egyptian spell scroll as “Fire Away Goop,” or something similar. It was a green, nearly transparent goop that sloshed in its bottle but it was too thick to really flow. It oozed more than anything. When it hit heat, it tended to solidify into a more solid green that would be easily removable from Yuta’s house, if said house was still there by the time you got to wherever it was. You grabbed the bottle and rushed back to the living room, panting. Kun turned to you.

“Is it okay if I carry you, to make sure we get there in time?”

“Won’t I be too heavy?”

He gave you an unimpressed look. “We’re literally the strongest things known to man. I’ll be fine.”

“Then sure. Let’s go save Yuta’s house!”

Kun carried you piggyback as fast as he could, your face tucked into his shoulder to avert most of the vertigo induced by such high speeds. Trees flashed by in browns and greens, and then you were going through the city, past the city, through more trees, in a rush that you couldn’t quite comprehend but which caused a sinking feeling to settle in your gut. Yuta’s house was far away. By the time you got there, the house was fully consumed by the flames, the fire burning merrily without knowledge that it was ruining a man’s home.

A man, presumably Yuta, stood out front, another man on his knees next to him. Once you were next to them, you realized that the standing man had the kneeling man’s ear in a tight grip. You figured that the man on his knees must have been the infamous Donghyuck.

“Yuta-hyung, Hyuck,” Kun greeted them as he set you on the ground.

“Yangyang,” said Yuta, turning around, “You’re a bit late.” He nodded at you and Kun in acknowledgement, as Donghyuck yelped at the tug on his ear. Yuta had black hair streaked through with neon green, and it framed a narrow face and startlingly pink lips. You wondered, in the back of your head, if he used lip tint. You also briefly entertained the idea that he contoured his face, because there was no way that he looked that good without makeup. He’s a vampire, your consciousness provided. All of them look that good.

“Sorry hyung,” Yangyang murmured. “We came as fast as we could!”

Kun stepped forward. “We brought Y/N, as you can see, and she has something to put the fire out.” Something like hope sparked in Yuta’s eyes as he looked over you again, taking in details of your appearance.

“Do you really? Well, go ahead.” He gestured to the house and the flames danced in your face, leaving you to hope that this gloop worked for fires this big. You took a deep breath and poured the goop onto the grass, where it oozed between the blades of grass like a big blob of snot on the lawn.

“Atlaq alnaar,” you murmured to it, and it rose into the air, following your mental directions toward the fire. The moment they made contact, the goop started to solidify and expand, covering the fire rapidly. Green overtook bright reds and oranges as you focused on the fire and made the goop cover it.

“Y/N!” Someone was calling to you, their voice out of focus as though you heard them from underwater. “You’ll get covered!” You were vaguely aware of a hand trying to lead you away, but the spell kept you rooted in place, your feet seemingly super glued to the lawn. You kept focus on the fire as the last flames were overtaken and put out. Yuta’s house was now a giant green blob. From what you could see through the jello-like goop, it had sustained a minimal amount of damage considering the amount of flames you had seen. You were so engrossed in the green substance that you missed the warning signs before it swallowed you up too, ever expanding.

It took your outstretched hands first, pulling you forward into it. Through your panic you had just enough brain power left to be amazed at how thick it was before your feet and legs were covered too, nearly encased in the goop. You leaned your head back as far as you could, trying to keep yourself in the open air, but the goop kept expanding. You felt more than saw the vampires try to dig you out, but while the spell still fueled it, the goop was surprisingly strong. A hand grasped your elbow as the goop grasped your neck and chin, keeping you completely still as it covered more of you. The hand let go. It couldn’t do anything now.

You took a deep breath just before the goop covered your mouth, nose, and eyes. You thought you felt something on the back of your neck but didn’t think much of it until it started burning. Any strength you had left crumbled as your eyes started stinging and your oxygen ran out. You couldn't see, but it felt as though the world was spinning around you, as though you had been disconnected from everything but the pain. Even through your lightheadedness the pain persisted. It had spread now, from your neck over your shoulders like the creeping vines on the back wall of Jaemin’s cottage.

Jaemin.

You realized through your hazy thoughts that you would never see him again. Your eyes and nose burned now, from tears you couldn’t cry and the pain slowly enveloping you.

You couldn’t hold on any longer.

Black.

☽༓☾

Across a forest and a small town, Jaemin was working on his Hindi pronunciation when Ten burst into his home for the second time in what seemed like a very short period. He wasn’t dripping this time, just looked thoroughly terrified of something.

“Jaemin! She needs help!”

“What? Who?” Jaemin stood up and walked over to his friend. Ten’s tentacles curled and uncurled repeatedly as he spoke.

“Y/N! The vision got sharper, which usually means it’s happening. The green blob wasn’t a tree, it was some sort of spell! She’s going to die if we don’t get there fast.”

“Where are we going?” Jaemin demanded as they ran through the trees around his cabin.

“Yuta’s house. Or, at least, where it used to be.”

“What happened to Yuta’s house?”

“Yangyang and Hyuck burned it down.”

“Ah.”

Ten was panting as he continued speaking. “I think that must be what the spell was for. Some sort of fire putter-outer.”

Jaemin tried to think back to all of the books he had given you, recalling a spell that sounded suspiciously like what Ten described. “If the one I think you’re talking about is the spell she used,” he told Ten, “we might not be able to save her by the time we get there.” A pang echoed through his chest. An empty feeling, as though your small human life had affected his own so strongly as to make him miss you without knowing that you were gone. Jaemin ran on, leaving Ten behind when he paused to rest, sprinting at his highest speed towards where you were.

When he arrived on Yuta’s plot, most of his vision turned green, not because things were actually green, but from the sheer size of the lime coloured stuff all over Yuta’s house. He had been correct when he guessed at which spell you had used. His gaze fell on Kun, Yangyang, Yuta, and Donghyuck, who stood at the still-expanding base of the blob, seemingly trying to get something out. He gasped. You were in the thing. He ran up and tried to help the others dig you out, to no avail. They couldn't do anything against the spell so long as you were alive, and he wasn’t about to kill the person he had worked so hard to protect. He tried to hold onto your elbow as it was swallowed, but was afraid of hurting you. They all watched as you took a deep breath and the gloop covered your face.

Jaemin slumped, out of ideas. There was no way to save you that he knew of. Then he thought back to Ten’s vision. He had to change you. It was the only way. You wouldn’t need to breathe, wouldn’t need to do anything. You could still be here with him. It was with that in mind that he lunged forward at the last moment and latched onto your neck, stretching his jar as wide as it would go. His fangs, already dripping uncomfortably with venom in your presence, sank into your veins, and he felt it as you stiffened slightly. You couldn’t move much in your current situation, but your muscles seized all the same. He stayed next to you as long as he could, until he was in danger of being swallowed into the goop as well. He licked the wounds closed as efficiently as possible and stepped back with the others to see what happened.

It was obvious that you had gone unconscious. The goop stopped moving so rapidly and seemed to pause in its conquest of the front yard. It started oozing slowly around again, creating something of a reverse muffin top as the top shell hardened and the bottom bits leaked out. They backed up to the edge of the yard and Jaemin used his (admittedly small) knowledge of spellcraft to create wards that would protect the house down the street and hopefully contain the goo. They watched in silence as the green kept expanding. Then Yangyang spoke.

“Will Y/N die?”

“I don’t think so,” said Jaemin slowly. “She shouldn’t, at any rate. I bit her.”

A collective tremor went around the group, as though none of them wanted to appear surprised but they all were.

“It was the only thing I could think of that gave Y/N a chance, so I had to try it,” Jaemin continued. “But Kun-hyung knows more than me on that subject.”

Kun looked pensive as he considered what Jaemin had said. “It should work, in theory. But between the wards always up around Y/N’s house, this spell, and the venom in his system, her body might now be able to take it. It’s just a game of chance, unless we can find some way to take some stress off of her body.”

They all looked to Jaemin again.

“Is there some way to break the wards that she has up?” Yuta asked.

“I don’t think so,” Jaemin said, frowning. “Not without taxing her further. We definitely can’t affect this spell without killing her, and as far as the transformation goes, we’d need to be able to get to her body in there. That’s obviously not happening either.”

“So what can we do?” Donghyuck’s voice was small and he sounded almost repentant, as though he thought this whole thing was his fault. It sort of was, but it was odd to hear that tone from him.

“We ask Ten what he can see of the future and go from there,” Jaemin said. “There’s not much else that we can do, unless anyone knows someone better with spells than Y/N.”

The whole group shook their heads. Spells could be cast by any human variant creature that they knew of, but spellcraft was a human specialty. You in particular were gifted beyond what they had seen in a very long while.

While they thought about it, Ten burst forth from the trees down the street and ran towards their group. He slowed down as he took in the blob, now pressing against the wards that contained it. Jaemin could feel a subtle sort of pressure in his head as his spells kept the goop within Yuta’s plot.

“So?” Ten asked Jaemin as he walked up. “Did it work?”

“We’re not sure. She’s not dead, or the Fire Away spell would have gone small and liquidy again. On the other hand, none of us know any way to get her out, and Kun-hyung’s worried about the toll that all of this” - he waved his hands at the blob - “will kill her while he turns. We wanted to ask what you were seeing as of now.”

Ten closed his eyes, most of his tentacles going still as he focused. There was one that whacked anxiously against the dirt beneath him, beating a steady rhythm against the earth. After a few minutes, his eyes opened and he refocused his eyes on the group around him.

“Well?” Yangyang prompted when he didn’t speak. Ten sighed.

“Good news is that she’s probably not going to die.”

“And the bad news?”

“She might die.”

“What do you mean, Ten-hyung?”

“I can’t… I can’t tell which future is the one that will come true. It’s like there are two possible ways for the future to go, and neither of them is solid. Either she makes it through, or she dies. The worst part is that I can’t tell what causes her death. It could happen two seconds from now, or two hours, or two days. I just don’t know.”

“I don’t remember your visions ever having two outcomes,” Kun said, brows furrowed.

“I haven’t ever had one like this.”

“Well,” Jaemin said, “I’ll just stay here until she wakes up.”

“And where should I go?” asked Yuta. “Maybe nobody told you, but this is my house that just got burned down.” He threw a glare at Hyuck and Yangyang.

“Go stay with Mark-hyung or something. You sleep over with him all the time anyway,” Donghyuck suggested, and Yuta grinned, a complete change from two seconds before.

“He’ll hate that. See you guys later!” He skipped a few steps before running full tilt, phone in his hands and fingers tapping. The glow of the screen disappeared quickly from Jaemin’s view, and he turned back to their now-smaller group.

“Are you sure that you want to stay here until Y/N wakes up?” Kun asked Jaemin. “I know that you don’t need sleep or anything, but that seems like a waste of time.”

“I have eternity,” Jaemin told him. “I just need to be here to watch it deflate, whether it’s because she’s turned or because…” His voice went weak. He couldn't see you die. He just couldn’t. Kun patted him on the shoulder.

“Okay. We’ll come check on you tomorrow.” As he walked away with Yangyang and Donghyuck, Jaemin heard Kun’s ‘mom voice’ come out as he lectured on the dangers of playing with fire. It made Jaemin smile a little.

His head was starting to feel uncomfortable with the pressure of his wards, so he carefully widened them, centimeter by centimeter, until there was less gloop on them. He couldn’t keep this up until you completed the transformation, he knew, but it would work for now. Maybe he could call Kibum-hyung tomorrow for help.

Until then all he had to do was sit and wait, and look at your form encased in neo pearl champagne colored jello.

☽༓☾

It was exactly twenty five hours, forty minutes, and nine seconds since Jaemin had first settled in when the goop started deflating. The hard casing that had developed collapsed in on itself when the slightly softer insides began to shrink, reminding Jaemin slightly of Honey Lemon and her chemical reactions in Big Hero 6. He sprang to his feet, rushing forward to where he could see the outline of your body inside the collapsing bubble, grabbing the empty decanter that the goop had once been held in. He scooped up the small oozing goop that remained from the spell and plugged the decanter, turning around slowly to look at your body once more.

As your still-limp body collapsed to the ground, Jaemin felt his unbeating heart sink. You didn’t move, there was no rise and fall to your chest. There was no sound of your breath in the air. Your eyes didn’t roll around under your eyelids. You seemed… corpselike. Dead. But it couldn’t be. Ten had said that you would probably survive! Jaemin opened his phone and pressed Ten’s contact to call it. He answered on the third ring.

“Jaemin? What’s up?”

“Ten-hyung,” Jaemin said, and his voice cracked. He cleared his throat before continuing. “Y/N… I think, is dead?”

Ten sucked in a breath, audible even through the phone. “Jaemin I’m so sorry-”

Jaemin cut him off. “Hyung, you said she would make it!”

“There was always that chance that she wouldn’t-”

“But you said-” Jaemin’s voice cracked again and he fell into silence. He couldn’t cry, and he had never wished he could until now. Tears might convey the hole in his chest, the emptiness of his existence without your life to partner him.

“Jaemin,” came Ten’s voice, and it was soft, delicate. “I’m so so sorry. I thought that she would make it, but there was always that second path. I can’t-” He took a deep breath. “I can’t see her anymore. I think… I think she might be gone.”

“No!” Jaemin exclaimed hotly. “She can’t be!”

“Jaemin-”

He hung up. Whatever Ten-hyung had to say wouldn’t help. It wouldn’t bring you back. He was along now, with your body and this stupid Flame Away Goop that had managed to take your life despite Ten’s prophecies and Jaemin’s best efforts. The person that you were was gone. Now you were just a still corpse, a painful reminder of what could have been and what should have been and what couldn’t be.

“I’ll give you a proper funeral,” Jaemin told your body as he lifted it into his arms gently. “I promise.”

For the next three days, Jaemin worked non-stop. He prepared a funeral for you, ignored everyone except to invite them to the event. He could still picture your smile, the way he had to support you those first few steps. He remembered how you had called him gorgeous, how you had said I love you in Gaelic to him without knowing what it meant. He recalled the trust you had for him despite his own occasional self-loathing, the way you had reminded him of his worth every time you were around him.

He missed you. He missed you a lot.

People had called him, came knocking once an hour. He eventually just shut off his phone so he didn’t have to hear their pleas for him to let them in. All of his hyungs and all of his noonas came to make sure he was okay, but would he ever be? There was a Y/N shaped hole in him that he didn’t think could ever be filled up again. Jeno came around three times a day with hug offerings, but Jaemin shut him out. He knew it hurt his friends, knew they only wanted to help, but you were gone and nobody understood. Nobody had loved you the way he had. Nobody had your blood quite literally on their hands, flowing through their veins.

It hurt to think about that. He “lived” while you were dead; he had gained life through your death and that was the most ironic thing. In his attempt to save you, he may have killed you.

He hurt.

On the fourth day since your death, Jaemin gently dressed your body in the best clothes he could find, brushed your hair, and put you in a casket, standing you in an open clearing, the one where he had tried to send you back to Earth. It was the largest clearing nearby, and all of the vampires that had met you plus Ten came to pay their respects. They spoke about the short time they had known you, and the strong impact you had made despite that. They told of how you had gone back to Earth and suffered until you had returned. They told of your feats practicing witchcraft and most of all they spoke of your kindness, the lack of repulsion towards them. They spoke of your kind smile and the way you had fit in so nicely with their community.

Jaemin started not-crying, as vampires did, and he thought he would be alone, but Jeno joined him. Lucas joined him. Jisung and Chenle joined him. Ten and Johnny joined him. He was not the only one who had loved you. Donghyuck joined him. Yangyang and Yuta and Kun joined him. He was not the only one who felt that your death was his fault.

Jaemin was not the only person who choked out their words in an imitation of crying. Jaemin was not the only person who missed you. Jaemin was not the only one who wanted you back. Jaemin was not the only one.

He hadn’t realized how much he missed his friends until they surrounded him in a huge hug. It wasn’t a warm hug, necessarily, but it was a hug nonetheless and made him feel better. He was not the only one.

He was still dealing with the hole in his chest, but he had others to patch himself up with now. Like each person who had known you could bring a part of you back through their memories of you. It was nice, almost.

☽༓☾

The first thing you realized was that you could hear again. Your ears were uncovered, and you vaguely registered words being choked out somewhere near you. It sounded like a large number of people were very sad about something. You wondered what it could be. The second thing you realized was that you were laying down on some sort of padded… thing. It felt like too much work to open your eyes, so you felt around and realized that you were in a padded box. A padded box? That was new.

You tried to sniff the air and were met with the smell of cologne, not too strong but apparently on enough people that it permeated the air. You got hints of perfume too, but it was far less strong. Something in the box shifted and you felt breaths on your face. Were people looking at you in your sleep? Come to think of it, why were these many people around you while you slept at all? That seemed sort of rude. You tried to remember getting here but came up blank. Your last memories were of the pain before you passed out. You shivered at the memory.

“She’s awake!” someone shouted. The noise hurt your ears after the deafening silence of your previous state, and you itched to get away from them. A murmur of sound rolled through the room and then a familiar scent invaded your senses, that of sun-warmed earth.

“Y- Y/N?” Jaemin asked hesitantly. “Can you hear me? Are you in there?”

He sounded absolutely wrecked, like his voice had been stripped of his usual honey and sunshine. You tried to open your eyes, but it was too bright and you just couldn’t, so you nodded slightly.

“Oh my- Y/N,” he continued. “Can’t you open your eyes for me, please?”

You shook your head no.

“Okay, that’s fine, sweetheart. Let me get you out of there.” There was the sound of something wooden being bonked against a wall, but that faded in comparison to the name. Sweetheart. Sweetheart.

You were lifted gently from your padded box and carried somewhere shady and cold. It felt nice against your skin. He felt nice against your skin. He carried you gently, like you were made of glass, but you felt surprisingly strong, just out of sorts. As though while your mind struggled to catch up, your body had strengthened. It was a very different sensation to that of your first time waking up in Jaemin’s house. He walked you through what you thought must be the forest for a bit before he sat down and nestled you into his side. You felt as though some muscles should be unhappy about the position, but you felt completely comfortable.

“Y/N.” Jaemin’s voice came to you, soft and warm and familiar. It was shaking slightly. “Can you open your eyes for me now?”

You focused on your eyelids, raising them slowly until you could see Jaemin. He had on a suit; black jacket over a white shirt, accented by a thin black ribbon tied loosely around his neck. His pink hair fell neatly in waves over his forehead and you reached up to brush away a piece that had fallen over his eyes, smiling.

“Hey Jaem. What happened?” Your voice wasn’t weak, like you supposed it should have been. It came out like a melody into the air, and you marvelled internally at the sound of it, how smooth it was. It felt nice.

“You-” Jaemin broke off for a second, rearranging your limbs next to him. “You were trying to save Yuta’s house. We had to rebuild part, but it’s fine. He stayed with Mark for a few days. For the most part, your spell worked. But then, it- it swallowed you. I got there in time to watch as you were absorbed by this green goop and I thought I was too late. I bit you, back here.” He brushed his fingers gently over the sides of your neck and you shivered. “But you didn’t wake up… I thought I was too late. You weren’t breathing, and you weren’t awake… I have no idea how you managed to cancel the spell without waking up or dying. So I-” He made a choked up sound and tightened his arm around your shoulders. “We’re at your funeral. Ten couldn’t see your future anymore, so we thought you were dead…” He trailed off.

“Wow,” you said. “I died? Then how am I here now? I feel alive?”

“It worked. It must have. You don’t have a heartbeat, but you’re awake. I don’t know what happened exactly, but you must be a vampire now.”

“Huh. I thought I’d feel more… hungry.”

He laughed. It glittered over your ears and you smiled, an involuntary reaction to him. “It’ll kick in, don’t worry.”

“What about the others? I mean, Lucas and Kun and everyone? Are they just at my funeral right now? Without me?”

“Oh.” Jaemin looked as though he had forgotten about them. “I guess they are. Let’s go see them?”

“Let’s.”

☽༓☾

After that day, it didn’t take you long to realize that the other vampires were purposefully putting you with Jaemin for just about everything. On days where you went to hang out with Lucas, he would ask you how Jaemin was doing. If you didn’t know, he would suggest that you go and visit him. Kun asked you to make sure that Jaemin was feeling okay. Yuta, who you were finally allowed to meet and hang out with, constantly suggested that you should spend more time with him. It was strange. Nobody had seemed to mind that you had your own hobbies before your transformation, but now that you were a vampire, it was as though you were meant to be with Jaemin all of the time. You asked Lucas about it once you got sick of the mysterious treatment and he looked at you heavily.

“When you got trapped in that goopy stuff, Jaemin went all weird. He didn’t move for, like, more than 24 hours, and once he thought you were dead… he didn’t talk to any of us until the funeral. We worry about him, and you seem to make him really happy, so we’re trying to keep you two around each other.”

You didn’t really know what to say to that, so you chose the very eloquent “oh,” as your response. Lucas chuckled.

“I know. It was really weird, I’ve never seen him like that. I think we’ve seen a lot of new sides of Jaemin since you came along.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“It’s… well, I don’t think it’s bad or good. It just is. You affect him differently than anyone else we know.”

“Why is that, do you think?”

“Y/N, you idiot, he’s in love with you.”

“He’s what?”

Lucas sighed. “He’s in love with you.”

“Why do you think that? This is Jaemin we’re talking about here. Jaemin. He’s, like, beauty incarnate and he’s smart and kind and wonderful in every aspect of everything. He just can’t be in love with me.”

“He’s in love with you.”

“He’s not.”

“He is.”

“He can't be.”

“Why not?”

“I just told you why.”

Lucas sighed again, more deeply. “But you’re in love with him.”

“I-” You consider that. “I guess?”

“That wasn’t a question.” He rolled his eyes.

“Do you think it’s possible that he actually does like me back?”

“Yes.”

Somehow, after that, Lucas managed to steer the conversation onto other subjects and you refocused on those things, but it echoed in your head. He’s in love with you.

☽༓☾

Even with this new information bouncing around the forefront of your brain, you still had to go and spend time with Jaemin. Maybe it was a little strange for your thoughts to short circuit when you saw him, the little whisper of what if in your head. Maybe it was a little peculiar for a vampire such as yourself to stutter through sentences because you were busy thinking about what life would be like if he really did like you back. Maybe you spent less time talking on your walks together because you wanted to lay next to him in a clearing and watch the clouds instead. Just maybe.

If Jaemin noticed any of your strange behaviour, he didn’t call you out on it. He either really wasn’t paying all that much attention, or he knew enough about you to know that you wouldn’t want him to pry. It was strange, really, how well you knew each other in such a short time. You supposed that since you spent so much time together it wasn’t improbable, but he knew you nearly as well as your old human friends back home.

Thinking about your old memories was a strange experience. You could remember everything as clearly as your human self could, but you noticed more the lack of detail within the images, the way your human eyes couldn’t move as fast as your vampire ones, and your reflexes weren’t as fast, and the way you fixated on one part of the picture without taking in the details of the rest of your vision. You had entirely blocked out memories of driving, they were too harrowing. You recalled more easily now all of the times you had nearly hit something or someone, and while you couldn't die now, at least not that easily, you could have easily fallen prey to the fatal blind spot more times than you’d care to admit.

When you told Jaemin about that, he laughed that laugh you loved so much. “I was born in fourteen forty-two, Y/N. We didn’t have cars back then. The only thing on the street that would run me over was a horse-drawn carriage.”

“Well,” you retorted, “you should consider yourself lucky then. Carriages and horses don’t sound half so bad as giant hunks of metal flying at each other at eighty miles per hour.”

“Maybe you’re right,” he mused, stroking an imaginary beard. “Maybe I was lucky to be born in Korea during the 1400s. You may have heard of the emperor Sejong the Great? I was born during his rule. He was one of the best emperors Korea ever had, he introduced hangul and united the country under Confucian principles so that there was more love for the country and the people living in it. Peaceful few years we had there, from what little I remember. After that, though? Lots of killing, children on the throne, et cetera et cetera. Not so fun. And I was actually able to die through all of that, so that wasn’t pleasant. But then King Sejo, the one who did the killing, actually did a pretty okay job of ruling the country and we had a few more years of prosperity. He died six years after my transformation. I missed that event because I was here in Vahmpyr getting to know Jeno, who turned me.”

“How much of the group was around, at that point?”

“Well…” Jaemin closed his eyes briefly in thought. “Here, let me draw you a family tree.” He grabbed a piece of paper and a pencil and wrote ‘Moon Taeil’ at the top. “Okay so as you know, Taeil is here as the first of us. He turned Yuta-hyung, Kun-hyung, Johnny-hyung, and Taeyong-hyung.” He wrote in their names under Taeil’s, spacing them out across the paper.

“Yuta-hyung turned Sicheng-hyung and Shotaro; Kun-hyung turned Dejun-hyung and Lucas-hyung; Johnny-hyung turned Jungwoo-hyung and Mark, and Taeyongie-hyung turned Hyuck, Doyoung-hyung, and Jaehyun hyung.” He labeled all of these names, then drew more stems leading from Jaehyun, Lucas, and Dejun.

“Jaehyun-hyung turned Sungchan, Lucas-hyung turned Hendery-hyung and Yangyang, and Dejun-hyung turned Renjun.” He drew all of these connections and stemmed Renjun’s name down even farther.

“Renjun turned Jeno and Chenle, then Jeno turned me, and I turned Jisung and now you.” He finished the tree with a flourish, black ink stark against the creamy paper. They were all connected, in some way, to Taeil’s venom. And there was you, at the very bottom, your name small next to Jisung’s.

“You guys are all so… connected.”

“Yep! We’re all one big family.”

“Do you guys have, like, family reunions? And who changed Joy and her friends? Or what’s-his-face? Taemin?”

“We don’t really all get together a lot, just because most of us have jobs on Earth or spend our days doing stuff on our own. Some of them like having flings all the time. Obviously none of us can get STDs or get pregnant, so they can do that, no strings attached. We sort of hang out in our individual groups for the most part, and then hang out every once in a while. As far as the others, we think that they must have come from the same person as Taeil-hyung, a very very old vampire. There are other stories like ours across Vahmpyr, where one vampire created one member of each coven and let us grow from there. The difference is that some of them actually have good relationships with those older vampires, whereas I’ve never met ours. I’ve heard that there’s a man called Park Jae-sang who actually comes around to spend time with the vampires he’s changed. The closest we have to an old vampire is Leeteuk-hyung, and he isn’t really around much, plus he’s not that much older than Taeil-hyung.

“Anyway, to answer your question, when I was turned, nearly everyone was around already. Only Yangyang, Sungchan, Shotaro, Chenle, and Jisung are younger than me. And now you.”

“Wow, so you had to meet everyone right after your transformation? I bet that was chaotic.”

“It was, but it was also fun. I got to be the baby for a while. Then the others came around and I somehow became a mother figure.”

You laughed. Jaemin was a mother figure, for sure. He liked to take care of the people around him, including humans that his brothers had brought home for him to patch up. “That doesn’t surprise me one bit.”

He giggled along with you, that laugh you adored so much, and grinned. “I guess it sort of fits me, doesn’t it? Mother Jaem.” He rolled the name over his tongue and you collapsed into laughter again. “I think that works well, yep.”

The next few days, you called him Mother Jaem, and everyone gave you weird looks, but it made Jaemin laugh hard enough that it was worth it.

☽༓☾

One day after this, Chenle pulled Jaemin aside to ask him what on Earth was going on with this whole “Mother Jaem” thing. Jaemin explained happily how it had come about. Chenle rolled his eyes dramatically.

“When are you two getting married?”

Jaemin just gave him a blank stare. “What?”

“It’s so disgusting how much you guys love each other! When can we shove you two together in a house and call it a day?”

“Um, okay, first of all, that is not how you get rid of somebody. Second, she doesn't love me? And third, there is definitely not enough space in her house for me, even if she did.”

Chenle pinched the bridge of his nose. “Lucas was right, you guys are blind fools. Of course she loves you! She goes to see you all the time! And enjoys it! You’re both in love with each other and both of you are cowards.” He ran his hand through his hair, knocking a piece into his eye. He squinted unhappily but didn’t try to move it.

Jaemin sighed as he got the chunk of hair away from Chenle’s eye. “This is Y/N we’re talking about though! She might hate me for everything I put her through and only stick around because I turned her or something. Plus, she spends as much time with Lucas as with me.”

“My God, your logic is terrible. You love her, she loves you, you need to get together. Watch some dramas and kiss her in the rain or something. Lucas even told me that she loves you!”

“That’s astonishingly specific for someone who doesn’t have a romance under their belt.”

“That’s besides the point!” Chenle grabbed the sides of Jaemin’s face and held him still while he spoke. “You need to confess sometime or another before the rest of us go crazy watching you run in circles around each other.”

With that he stalked away, leaving Jaemin rubbing his face where Chenle’s fingertips had pressed into the skin. It didn’t hurt, but the echoes of his voice and his fingers held Jaemin still for a long time afterwards.

☽༓☾

The next week, Kun and Taeil invited the whole coven to a reunion at Kun’s country estate. Having never been, you looked forward to seeing the giant house as much as meeting the rest of the family. It didn’t disappoint, it was absolutely massive, at least four or five floors and extensive gardens in front. Kun gave you free run of the place, asking you to please not enter rooms marked with a “Do Not Enter” sign. Simple rule to follow. You entered the main hall first, feeling like royalty in such an elegant room. Twin staircases led from the upstairs, leading your eyes to an extravagant chandelier covered in hundreds of crystals, and a mint green ceiling. From either side of the large room extended hallways with lush pale blue rugs and endless vases on platforms. It felt as though you had entered the past, or maybe a very expensive movie set. You moved through hallways and rooms, gazing at velvet chairs and old paintings that screamed money. You wondered if someone in Vahmpyr painted them, or if they were from Earth. You found only two rooms marked “Do Not Enter,” one of which was in a long hallway of bedrooms, so you assumed it was Kun’s.

The other was in the back of a positively colossal library. The library caught your eye because of the sheer size of it. Rows upon rows of books lined the walls and seemingly endless freestanding shelves. It was as large as the main public library back home, taking up at least four average rooms worth of space per floor. Not to mention the height. You estimated that it was at least three floors high, perhaps four. An entire long wall was devoted to Kun’s studies in medicine, dating back to leeches and poultices on open wounds through Magnetic Resonance Imaging and the most advanced of current surgeries. He had records of patients stacked by century, and a desk that popped out of the wall to reveal his own notes on developing vaccines and other medicines. Had you still been human, you were certain that a room like this would have given you a headache, from the size and the amount of books to look at.

From the medicine section you moved to other sciences like forensics, geology (although that section was considerably smaller), and astronomy. You also discovered an entire section on aviation. In the astronomy section, you found cork boards with maps pinned to them, stars drawn in detail, space stations built for both humans and vampires, and more drawings you didn't know how to interpret. You pulled out a few books at random and flipped through them, smiling at the notes in the margins. Past those sections were books on every type of science you had ever heard of, and some you hadn’t.

Beyond those were histories, and Kun’s travel section. He had bins filled with brochures, maps, and travel magazines and accounts of, from what you could tell, every war known to have occurred past Kun’s turning. That blended into social studies, and you found books on language next to copies of the Bible in seemingly every version, translations of the Quran, and more religious texts. Stock market trends were recorded and stored next to books on how to hire smart and anthropology. Cultural studies were stored with ethics and political records. Newspapers appeared as well, although those were fewer than the books by far. They appeared to be from a singular area, a place called Taining County, in China. Kun must have some sort of tie to it. You made a mental note to ask him when you rejoined the others.

You climbed a staircase to the second floor, where you found a fireplace and sitting area within the books. It appeared that the entire second floor was books organized by language, starting each section with children’s books and working their way up to novels. You found all of the Romance Languages, German, Hindi, Greek, Tagalog, Russian, Dutch, Japanese, Cantonese, Thai, Korean, Arabic, Bengali, Telugu, Tamil, Urdu, Latin and more that you didn’t know. In the back was a small compilation of different countries’ sign languages, as well.

You climbed the next flight of stairs to the third floor, finding the fiction section. These were organized by genre, with horror on one shelf, science fiction hogging four shelves on the opposite walls, romance taking up a large section next to that, et cetera. You spotted a section marked “Transcribed” and walked over to it, finding books handwritten by Kun, presumably taken from other forms and written over to fit in his library. You imagined the wax tablets and stone slabs of old books and shuddered. Even as a vampire, transporting those wouldn’t be easy. This floor was open in the middle, looking down at the second. Above you, the next floor was open as well and housed more shelves.

You walked up the last staircase and came upon a musical archive. There were phonographs on tables next to more recent record turntables, followed by cassette players and CD players. Each one was in impeccable condition, and behind them were shelves of every format that would work with those machines. These were shorter shelves, since the music was thinner than books, but there were still many many of them. You saw cassette boxes labeled with the albums contained within, records in yellowed sleeves, and CDs in thick storage cases. They were organized by decade, with the earliest dating back to the late nineteenth century. You guessed that was when recorded music had been invented. Perhaps Kun could still remember older pieces though; something else you would have to ask him about. You were looking through the most recent music to see what he liked and if you had heard of it when you heard someone calling your name.

“Y/N? Where are you?”

“In the library, fourth floor!” you yelled back.

“Will you come back to the kitchen and help me with this?”

“Sure!”

You weren’t sure who was calling you, but it sounded like Lucas, so you ran towards the kitchen. You weren’t sure entirely why there was a kitchen, since you all drank blood anyway, but you figured there was a good reason. You added that to your growing list of things to ask Kun. You understood why you had a kitchen in your house since you had lived in it while you were still human, but Kun hadn’t been to Vahmpyr before he was turned as far as you knew. Besides, he usually lived in his apartment next to the other guys. Maybe it was just necessary to have a kitchen in a house, you didn’t know. It would have felt weird, you guessed, to live in a house without one.

When you arrived, Lucas was outside as you had guessed.

“Will you run in and grab these things for me?” he asked, handing you a sticky note. “I’ve been tasked with rounding up everyone else.”

“Yeah, no problem,” you replied, walking through the doors into the room. It was industrial, like Kun cooked for dozens of people at a time, and there was a surprising amount of cooking utensils that wouldn’t work on raw bodies, like spatulas. You looked down at the sticky note for the first time. If you don’t confess, it read, I will smack you when you come back out. And you know how big my hands are, I will make it hurt.

“What?” you murmured to yourself as Jaemin walked into the room.

“Oh hey Y/N, did Chenle send you?”

“No, Lucas did. But did Chenle perhaps give you a sticky note with things to get for him on it?”

Jaemin glanced down at a hot pink slip of paper in his hand. “Yeah.” He looked back up at you before his brow furrowed and he looked more thoroughly at the writing on it. He groaned. “I am going to kill Chenle.” He ran a hand through his cotton candy pink hair. “I guess I should just get it over with then.”

He walked closer to you, setting the sticky note on the counter as he came. “I’m kind of in love with you? And I have been for a while? I mean I get if you hate me after everything I put you through, but according to Chenle you like me back? And… yeah?”

You were left speechless. Hate Jaemin? Never. And he… loved… you?

“Y/N? Are you okay?” Jaemin waved a hand in front of your face. “I’m sorry, I’ll go, Chenle must have set up a prank.” He started walking away and you grabbed his wrist.

“Jaem, hold on. I’m just in shock. I thought there was no way you could like me back…” Your voice got steadily smaller until it trailed off at the end of your sentence as a whisper.

His entire face lit up like a Christmas tree plugged in for the first time, glowing and cheerful. “It’s not a prank?”

You rubbed a hand over your face. “No, it’s not a prank. I thought Lucas was kidding when he said you liked me back. Or at least that he was wrong. You- you’re actually telling me that you’re in love with me?”

“I am.”

“Holy shit.”

He laughed, a ringing sound in the quiet of the kitchen. It echoed back at you as though the happiness of the laugh had been multiplied. “They’re going to be so smug,” he muttered.

“Oh yes they are. We’re going to have to get back at them someday.”

“Well, we have forever,” he reminded you. You grinned and held out your hand. He took it.

“Let’s go get the teasing over with then.”

You walked out of the kitchen and down the hall. “What did Chenle threaten you with if you didn’t confess?” you asked.

“Oh, he was going to tell the group about the fling I had with Jeno when we were younger.”

You looked at him in shock. “You had a fling with Jeno? Why would you choose me over him?”

“It was just sexual attraction. While that works for some people, both of us were happier just being friends, so we ended it. I actually am in love with you, which makes all the difference. Anyway, Chenle got that story out of me on a dare once and has held it over my head ever since.”

“I wonder if he’s told Jeno he knows?”

“Probably.”

You had reached the front room, and you took a deep breath as you walked forward, though it did nothing for your undead body. “Let’s throw ourselves to the wolves.”

As you walked out into the sunlight, a cheer rose up that would have sent birds flapping away, had there been any. You heard Chenle’s unique laugh paired with Lucas’ happy shouts of “yes!” and the voices of the other men you had gotten to know, paired with ones you didn’t. They stood in a group in the garden, whooping and throwing up hats if they had any. Lucas was the first to reach you.

“I can’t believe you actually did it! I thought I’d have to smack you!” He sounded far too happy at the prospect for your liking.

The rest of the boys ran over. There was a repeating round of “finally” until someone mentioned the food getting warm and there was a great rush to get back to the patio in the garden. You sat next to Jaemin in patio chairs as the sun slowly sank past the tree line and talked with friends old and new.

There was something new, something warm inside of you. A feeling of belonging more than ever when Jaemin fed you a little and the rest of the guys booed jokingly. Under the rising stars you kissed him for the first time, a quick peck at the behest of Yangyang. There were more cheers and hugs and someone had a polaroid camera out, the flash lighting up the scene as everyone laughed.

This was where you were meant to be.

End.

!!reblogs and feedback are much appreciated!!

All rights reserved kiri-ah, 2021

[issaxcharlie]

Ghost of you (1/2)

Pairing: Luke Patterson x Fem Reader

This fic is inspired by Dancing with your ghost by Sasha Sloan and specially Ghost of you from 5SOS and one of its verses also makes an appearance.

It’s also a collaboration I did with the lovely @cookiebuba, thank you for trusting me to write it, love! (I really hope you like it🥺)

Summary: This first part is angst and is basically Y/N catching up with her boyfriend Luke one last time in the 90’s and then Luke founding her once he’s back in 2020.

And that's the only thing I'll say because I really don't want to spoil you. I also adored to write it🥺💖

1997

“Hello again, my love.

Today marks 2 years since you left, And it's still as hard as the first day. One of the hardest things is waking up. Sometimes I stay almost an hour on bed, looking towards the door. Terrified to turn to your side and find it empty again.

Every night I try to rest for hours until finally exhaustion allows me to sleep wrapped in one of your old shirts, pretending that you are quietly sleeping next to me. Sometimes I have to play the only slow song from the first and last Sunset Curve record to ease the craving of you and in the hope that it will help my mind to meet you in my dreams. Those nights when I am lucky enough to find you are what keeps me relatively sane, because no matter how much it hurts to have to say goodbye, not seeing you again would be so much more painful.

I could dream of us anywhere, doing anything. But it’s always the same dream, what I yearn most projected in it. It always starts with me opening the door of our house, you are writing a song in the living room and as soon as you look at me you smile as if you had not seen me in years, wrapping me in your arms with all your strength.

You tell me how much you love me, and that when you are without me you feel as if your soul is missing. And then you ask me to promise not to leave you again. And it hurts, it hurts like fucking hell. Because I know I’m dreaming. Because I know it’s not actually you. Because I know I can’t promise you that. And god, how much I want to promise you that.

I divert the conversation crashing my lips on yours because I don’t want to lie to you, even if it’s only a dream. You pick me up and I hang my legs around your waist. And for a second I allow myself to forget. I sink in your perfume, in your arms, in your kisses, in how your tongue feels inside my mouth, in how your hands walk all over my body, In how my name sounds almost magical in your husky voice.

We spent the rest of the day just being us. Laughing, writing, playing, singing.

I sing to you the last song I wrote, the one I wrote especially for you after the first dream. The first time it just came out naturally, like it had been there the whole time. When I woke up I decided to write it down and complete it, and the next time I dreamed you I started playing it for you, just like all the following times. Because it’s the only excuse I have to cry there, for you to comfort me. Because it’s the only way I have for you to understand a little of what I am suffering without ruining the illusion.

“Come here beautiful, you’ll never have to experience something like that, I promise. You’ll dance with the real deal.” If you only knew, love.

That's when I melt on you. The tears don’t stop falling as you practically wrap me in your arms and we dance calmly around the room, I’m sobbing like crazy while you sing in my ear to try to help me relax.

I can tell you’re freaking out, comforting someone while crying was never your strong suit, but being me you always try your best,and that was more than enough.

The dream always ends with me in your arms, when I finally calm down and our heartbeats sound as one. Everything feels good for a second until suddenly I can't hear yours anymore. I beg you to hold on to me but little by little you fade away. I try to dance alone, pretending that you are still there to try to make you reappear, but I never get it. I never get you. So I keep dancing and crying until the stabbing pain wakes me up.

And I know it sounds awful and heartbreaking, but I can assure you, If to see the shine in your eyes, hear your voice and feel your lips, I have to end up dancing with the ghost of you, I’ll do it every single time. It's worth it... you are worth it. I would happily pay for the suffering I go through when I wake up every day in order to continue living the good moments.

I officially released the song a month ago, and it's doing fairly good. I knew I had to come to tell you, and it was a good excuse to finally dare to tell you that I still find you recurrently in my dreams. You will always be the love of my life, my biggest dream. I love you Luke, yesterday, today and always.”

After talking to him for hours, she gets up, wipes her knees, and examines the tombstone of her beloved for a few more seconds before leaving the cemetery.

The only thing on her mind right now is how unfair life was with her.

2020

After several months Julie finally decided to hear the music that she used to listen with her mother at full volume every day. Iconic songs from the 90's that marked the life of her mommy and later, in some way, hers.

‘Ghost of you’ starts playing and Julie can't help but feel even more connected to the song now that she lost Rose and the boys came into her life.

Just as she thinks of them almost as if she had summoned them, Sunset Curve appears. Reggie is about to speak when Alex puts his hand on his mouth. The three turn pale and begin to search where the sound is coming from, until the three approach their friend's laptop, a tear instantly falling from Luke's eyes.

“Ghost of you by Y/N Y/L. The story says that the poor thing lost the love of her life when she was just a teenager, she couldn’t recover from that loss. 2 years later she released this song to honor his lover on the anniversary of his death, and ended being one of the most iconic songs of the 90's era."

“Dancing through our house with the ghost of you. Cleaning up today, found that old Zeppelin shirt you wore when you ran away, and no one could feel your hurt.”

There is no doubt that she wrote it for him. The pain on the young woman's face makes him want to hit his head against the wall until he’s unconscious.

Reggie and Alex aren’t in better shape, they both seem about to pass out. Julie wasn’t expecting them to be so affected over an old love song.

“I know the feeling guys, her voice is breathtaking and heartbreaking at the same time, is insane. I know she would have done a lot more of amazing music if she’d had more time.”

If Luke's heart continued beating it probably would have stopped at that very moment.

“Julie, What do you mean with If she’d had more time?”

“She died a month after releasing the song in a car accident. I think in 1997.”

THANK YOU FOR READING, part 2 HERE✨

[damselofblueroses]

The Name of the Rose

Summary: Your study-buddy Doh Kyungsoo comes with you for a long-awaited trip to Tokyo, Japan. There is a tension between you, however both of you decided to build a friendship instead of a relationship.

Content: Unestablished relationship, AU, Hurt/Comfort, Anger, Slight Violence, Emotional Complications and Healing.

Warnings: Well, the story contains NSFW/Smut, please minors do not continue.

Note: This story was inspired by D.O.’s album, Empathy, the album of 2021 in my opinion. It is an ongoing mini project, I planned to write it as a one-shot when I started, however I realized there are a lot to say about Empathy Era and I cannot stop shut my mouth, or prevent myself from writing… So, here we go.

Second chapter, the Hunter and the Goddess is out :)

Word Count: 3.6k

Chapter 1: The Hunter and the Gazelle

Stat rosa pristina nomine, nomina nuda tenemus.

You were excited.

No, it was not the correct word to be used. You were hyperactive, more than your usual self, and God knows that everyone could testify on how hectic your personality was. According to your family and very close friends, you were a walking catastrophe, funny but a fucking tease and potentially dangerous for environment.

And now, as you had been waiting for your flight, you could not manage to even stay still. Your hands were everywhere, you proved yourself again by dismantling your tote bag as poor thing was on your lap and you were playing with it unconsciously.

“Enough.” you heard your companion’s baritone voice tone. “If you will continue like this, you have to buy your belongings again in Japan. Do you have that much money?”

He reached to you and took the bag from your lap. For a second, his fingers brushed your thighs, and you lost your concentration during that fucking second.

Focus! you told yourself.

“I can always lend some money from you.” you cocked one of your eyebrows. “What? Will you bare me from some bucks?”

“Yes.” he was always plain and simple. On the contrary of you. “Unless if it is not a necessary. I am not a guy of sharing.”

What type of guy you are, can you give me a demonstration?

Your trip to Japan made you very excited, but you had to confess at least to yourself in the depts of your mind. What made you frenzied was the presence of your companion.

Doh Kyungsoo.

Your long-term study-buddy. Actually, he was more than a study-buddy, he was a kind of your comfort zone, even though you never express your opinions about him. You have known each other for almost 7 years since the last year of bachelor. Both of you continued your ways in academic world and you were currently being Ph.D. candidates.

To be honest, he never lose his impacts on you. You had a sweet spot for him since almost the beginning of your friendship which made him more than a study-buddy. It did not mean that you were restraining yourself from having dates time to time, but all of them were ended up with the same result.

They were clever and handsome guys, but they were not Doh Kyungsoo.

Sometimes you could not help but wonder, how it would be if you did not meet him as a friend? Could you two manage having a relationship as your best friend, Baekhyun, supported like a bloody zealot? Or one of you would give up as your brother, Jongdae, always believed?

“Hey!” you heard Kyungsoo’s voice and jumped off from the bench. “Come back to your senses or we are going to miss the plane.”

“And you are going to take its money from me.” your murmured inside of your mouth but obliged to what he said by starting to walk. He was generally quiet during flights, but you knew his mouth will not be shut when you will visit the restaurants he wanted to try.

He does not come for Tokyo, he comes for fucking eels, octopuses, or crabs. Kyungsoo and his appetite.

“Naturally.” he approved your words on money, but there was a ghost of smile on his lips. “Since you are the one who became a sleeping beauty.”

Do you think I am beautiful?

This was another problem you had. With Kyungsoo, you were so relaxed, and you felt extremely safe, so you did not need to control yourself as you generally did. Of course, it was a good omen for your friendship, as much as you were sure Kyungsoo never lied to you, it was also a disadvantage on your part, because sometimes you wanted to ask some questions that should be remained in silence.

“If we would be fairy tales,” you smirked. “I would be Belle while you are the Beast.”

“Fine by me.” he shrugged his shoulder. “He is a very good guy. I am happy for Belle; she understands the assignment. You would not most probably.”

“Sweetheart, you are slow to catch the signs.” you playfully smacked his shoulder when you reached to the control point. You thought he would be annoyed, but he stopped and seriously gazed at you. You shivered and wondered why he was looking at you like he wanted to say something.

“What?” you inhaled.

“Since when I am slow to catch the signs?” he pressed on every word of his sentence, and to your dismay he used that voice tone, almost a whisper but goddamn strong. “Give me an example.”

You shuttered down, and this was the last problem you had with Kyungsoo, he was the only one who could make your brain stop working especially in times when the occasion calls for full-speed devilish progress. You just stared at him and shrugged your shoulder.

“Eh Soo,” you murmured. “You missed a lot of beautiful girls, right?”

Your response was so weak even to your ears. If Chanyeol, number two best friend of you, could hear your words, he would burst into laughs by hitting everyone beside him. You could imagine Junmyeon’s disgusted face as a plus.

“I did not miss anyone, my dear.” he chuckled. “Let me rephrase, anyone I want just one exception, but exceptions do not ruin the calculation in your famous mindset.”

When he chuckles, you can feel your blood tension rocks your body. His heart shaped lips does something to you, and you do not want to name it.

“Exceptions run the world, Doh.” you tried to push him to elaborate his words a little bit more. “Who is that lucky girl who run away from you?”

“That’s my secret.” he smirked and put his hand onto your waist in order to led you the controller lady. “Show your passport, I do not want to wait here forever.”

Who was the girl he mentioned? You could not help but started to feel anxious, how much you tried to press your instincts and feelings, whenever he mentioned a girl, there would be a dire need of crying in the pit of your stomach. You took a deep breathe and followed his instruction. While you were walking into the inside of plane, you struggled with the sudden sadness. You wanted to tear that off yourself, so you reminded yourself the splendid trip ahead you. You found your place and processed to sit down.

“May I help?” Kyungsoo asked you but he already fetched your belongings and placed them correctly. You smiled to him and sat down.

How could you meet someone like him? He was a little bit grumpy sometimes, a person who could give unexpected reactions, but he was reliable, kind, lovely and always thoughtful of his environment. You did not want to lose him. You never want to lose him, on the contrary, you want to keep him in your life until the very end. You could not think a life without Kyungsoo, you always desire him to stay your side.

You were pretty sad, you had to admit, and there was regret. You were regretful on your decision to not go further with him, you wished you could be braver and tell him about your feelings for him. How much you were confused because of him, how many days and nights you spent sleepless because of him. To make the things more complicated, you had zero idea about how he would be responded your confession if you pull yourself together and manage to do. For once, you heard his cousin Minseok talked about you by saying you were very important for Kyungsoo, however you did not know in which extent you were important for him.

You two were always closed to each other, you spent almost 3 or 4 days together, you were living in the same campus, your departments were close to each other. He was a huge part of your life, that’s one of the reasons why you were hopelessly trying to conceal your inappropriate feelings for Kyungsoo. The idea of losing his extremely valuable presence was the only scenario could make you sob.

“Am I the only one who is very uncomfortable?” he whispered to your ear and made your stomach twisted. You could kill him for this, but he was not aware of how he affected you. “You are deadly silent.”

“No, I am just thinking.” you run away from him like an Olympic athlete. “About the trip. I am very excited.”

“If you are,” he flinched your forehead. “You have to talk non-stop. You are silent when something bothers you, what are you hiding from me?”

“Nothing, Soo.” you found a smile from somewhere and presented to him. “You know I never find the chance of visiting Japan; I am really overwhelmed.”

“So, speak to me.” he grunted. “Do not act like I am not here.”

“Okey, okey.” you raised your hands to air. “Sorry for that.”

“I start to feel like I am disturbing you.” he turned his head to the Name of the Rosethat he was reading. Umberto Eco, he had a taste for everything of course. “I asked you twice if you are okey with going to Japan with me.”

You could laugh if you were not so tense since he mentioned girls.

“And I told you this is okey, Soo.” you pinched his upper arm. “You are a good companion for trips.”

“Only for trips?” he asked. What the fuck was wrong with Kyungsoo today? He was behaving weird, and his questions made you more baffled. “I thought I am good companion for everything.”

You bit your lips in order to send back the sudden answer you wanted to give. Instead of declaring your ignorance about his performance on everything, you refined your words.

“You are a good friend, Soo and sorry for making you feel unwanted. I am happy you are coming with me.”

“Hm.” he hummed but he did not look like he was satisfied with your answer. You decided to not think about what the heck he wanted to hear, you also turned to your book that you were supposed to read since the departure. At least Pavese helped you to collect your mind till the plane landed in Narita Airport. He helped you while you two took a cab for the way, he was acting like his usual self, so you accused yourself because of searching hidden messages in his questions. You were such an idiot.

“I will be seeing you at dinner.” he waved his hand when you finished the registration process of the hotel you would be staying for the week. You were in front of the elevator. Both of you already decided to take a nap before dinner when you were planning the trip, so you approved his words and took your keys.

“See you.” you smiled and walked to your room. When you opened the door, your smile widened, the room is so light and minimalistic as you really liked. There was no crowded furniture, crazy designs, or unnecessary modifications. The walls were light blue, the furniture was white, and all looked very harmonious. There were plants and flowers, you immediately run to the flowers as you loved them more than anything else. The hotel staff managed to place even Sakura blossoms into the room that made your heart flattered and smoothed your nerves.

And there was only one blue rose, which was your favourite flower in the world. Just one, between a bouquet of daisies and it looked magnificent. You leaned to smell it while smiling as a little freak. You did not have to see your face; you knew how you looked like. Chanyeol always said that when you see a blue rose, you lost your shit. Another creature made you drunk in happiness was white butterflies. You had a sweet spot for blue roses and white butterflies.

And for Kyungsoo.

You grunted to yourself in your mind, and you headed to the bathroom by tapping your feet to the ground harshly. You were done with your obsession with Kyungsoo, it became something out of control, and you were tired of yourself at this point.

You had to live your goddamn life, you had to stop fucking fantasizing about your study-buddy.

You stripped out from your clothes and jumped into the shower. Cold water helped you to take the control of yourself, both as physical and emotional. You were okey, you were in bloody Japan as you always wanted, and you were going to fucking enjoy it. After shower, you threw yourself into the bed, tucked yourself inside the blanket and set the alarm for one hour later.

After one hour, you were swearing at yourself with your very glorious vocabulary because the only thing you did was fantasizing about Doh Kyungsoo.

“Did you rest?” he asked to you while you were leaving the hotel. You held your growl inside. “Did you take a nap?”

“I did not sleep but I leaned down for a while, so it was good. You?”

“I slept like a baby. It was very interesting when you think I am more like an insomniac.”

“I guess, your insomnia is rubbing on me.” you grumbled. “Where are we going now?”

“Eh, at least something about me can rub on you.” he rolled his eyes, your chin was dropped due to his response. “There is a tiny noodle restaurant in Ebisu, but they are very famous. We are going to there.”

“Okey.” you nod and walked beside of him.

“You look very pretty.” he turned to you. “That dress looked very good on you.”

You instantly took a look on your navy, long dress. It was very comfortable, but also elegant and your fashion freak cousin persuaded you the colour and style gave you a

“Thank you.” you replied. “Sehun chose this for me, you know he is the chef kiss when it comes to fashion.”

“He did well.” he smiled. “How is Sehun by the way, I did not see him since ages. Did he come back from France?”

“No.” you pouted. You really missed your noisy cousin. “He just came to visit for a week, then came back to school. I am not sure if he will come back to be honest, he got some important invitations from European universities.”

“Very good.” Kyungsoo’s face was lit up. He was proud of Sehun. “I know you miss him, but he has a bright career ahead of him.”

“Yes, I know.” you also smiled. Thinking about your successful but extremely playful cousin made you happy. “I just worry about him.”

“Stop babying him.” Kyungsoo punched your arm as half serious half joke. “How old is he, 27?”

“Yeah.” you laughed. “I know I baby him very much, but we all do, Kyungsoo.”

“You are just one year older than Sehun.” he smirked. “Who is going to baby you?”

“Chanyeol.” you exhaled. Kyungsoo looked at you for a second, then both of you burst into laughs because it was well known that you also took care of Chanyeol and Baekhyun as well as Sehun. “Jokes aside, I am a strong and big girl, Kyungsoo, I do not need someone babying me.”

“Maybe you can start looking for a sugar daddy to baby you?” he cocked his eyebrows to you. “Before it is going to be too late?”

“Actually, I had some candidates in my pocket.” you devilishly beamed to him. “You have no idea.”

“Beg your pardon?” his face suddenly transformed from joy to deadpanned seriousness, and his smile was disappeared immediately. “I was joking.”

“I was not.” you blinked your eye. “Some people really proposed to me.”

“For being your sugar daddy?”

“I know I am very little in your eyes, Kyungsoo” you took a deep breathe before continuing. “But here the breaking news: some people could find me attractive.”

“We are not talk about usual dates or men.” he held your arm and turned you to himself. “If you receive this kind of proposes, you have to tell me.”

“Next time, I will report you so we can decide who is going to be my sugar daddy.” you poked his ribs while he burrowed his eyebrows and radiated a strong sense of discontent. “Come on Kyungsoo, I am not going to say yes to this type of proposes, what do you think about me?”

“We are always joking about this issue,” he looked like he was cursing beneath his breath. “But when it comes to you and Baekhyun, I always suspect if you are serious or not.”

“Sugar daddy is a joke.” you hissed. “Of course, it is a joke, I have no interest in having a sugar daddy.”

“What about the proposes? Are they real?”

“Well, they are.” you murmured. Suddenly, you felt like the table was turned and you just played your ace card too early. You felt like Kyungsoo’s eyes investigated your soul to the bits.

“How many?”

“Three.” you gave up. “One from faculty, two from outside.”

“Unethical son of bitches.” he lowly cursed and caught you off guard because he generally preferred to use more polite words, even if he was cursing. “Keep them away from yourself.”

“Oh really?” you teased him by hoping to break the strange tension between you and managed to put a little smile on his face.

“Stop mocking me.” he warned you but now he was smiling widely. His mouth became a heart again, this time you averted your eyes from his face.

“Who I am to dare mocking you?” you squeaked but it was fake.

“Oh, you mock me more than even that walking noisy machine Baekhyun.” he flicked his hand. “We have to stop at this station, Ebisu Garden Place is on the way.”

He put his hand onto your waist again, and you felt like electrocuted again. Every time he touched you, and unfortunately, he sporadically did, you felt like you are dying for more. More what? You were not sure what you really wanted from Kyungsoo, but you were certain on you were desperate for more of him.

More of him.

The bus was crowded, Kyungsoo led you to a little corner, and stayed in front of you. He could be a little bit protective when it came to crowded places since you were clumsy, he generally insisted to keep you close to himself in order to catch you, if you would lose your balance, so you did not surprise when he held your wrist.

What made your heart to do a perfect all kill type of somersault was his next move, his fingers did not stop on your wrist, on the contrary they moved into your palm and grasped your hand tightly. You raised your eyes to him, he never hold your hand, never ever.

“I want to be sure.” he whispered by catching your question before you ask. “Since both of us do not know the way, and the bus is full of passengers, this is more secure.”

“Ah.” This was the best of you at the moment. You quickly realized what the heck you said but Kyungsoo sometimes can be quicker than you.

“Why? Are you unsatisfied with the reason?” His dark brown eyes were shining, his perfume smelled fucking good and the proximity between your faces did not help you.

“Why should I be?” you had to be back to play as soon as possible. “I grant you the chance of holding my hand, that’s count as charity.”

He looked at your hand for a moment, and you saw a smile formed on his lips and instead of a sarcastic reply as you expected, his eyes shaped like a crescent and shined as the fucking moon itself during a cloudless, navy night.

“Thank you, your highness.” he genuinely smiled. “May I continue to hold your hand?”

“Why?” the tone of your question was full of surprise, sounded exceptionally strange.

“Because I want to feel you.” he simply answered, and he squeezed your hand a little bit more. “For once let me feel you by my side.”

You knew that your eyes blown up, your mind was playing some tricky and dangerous games with you, you lost your shit, and you were sure about you finally made yourself mad because of your platonic interest in Kyungsoo, but even if God himself would appear in the bus in order to stop you, that would be a fruitless attempt.

You held Kyungsoo’s hand.

If he wanted to feel you by his side, you could not refuse.

You never refuse Kyungsoo.

How could you?

He was the protagonist of your secret dreams, fantasies and your goddam powerful imagination.

He was your gazelle and you were chasing him since the first day you met.

[hajimeiwaswife]

STRINGS

Word count: 4,1K

Warnings: major character death, little angst

Summary: two lovers reunited by the power of music.

"Traveller! Be careful!" Xiao shouted, reaching to Aether in time to safe him from being knocked by a giant rock that fell out of the mountain.

"Thank you, Xiao." the boy said, out of breath, before resuming the fight against their enemies, the ones that had taken his sister away from him.

Xiao recognised easily the odour of blood, having spilled so much by himself in his past. If it had been any other time, he would have fought harshly and precisely, but now that he had finally found happiness, he didn't want to die. Or worst, his significant other to die.

Years took upon the Adeptus to finally open up to the Anemo Archon, who didn't give up on him ever since they met. Barbatos, or Venti, as he liked to go by, had been by his side trying for the Adeptus to comprehend human emotions, feelings that he already had inside of him. He had been so patient with him, so caring, that now Xiao finally understood what it was to be loved. But what if this battle took it away from him? He was terrified.

The sound of explosions surrounded the landscape, lifeless corpses on the ground above pools of scarlet liquid decorating the grass. The touch of Death wrapping those who sighed their last breath, too many to be count. The Adeptus was heading into battle again when he felt someone grab his shoulder, the gentle hands of his lover.

"Not there," Venti stated, taking Xiao's hand in his, "you're needed in this other area. The Millelith are having trouble."

He took his orders, not without giving him a nod to indicate respect and, in Xiao's language, a 'take care'. Venti, however, took the Adeptus' nape and kissed him briefly before running away, laughing mischievously. Poor Xiao, flustered as ever, followed the way he had been indicated and started fighting in all his might again, powerful lance in hand.

Hours of battle passed, more dead around the survivors to assimilate. The Adeptus was tired and in need of checking on his loved ones, but he continued to fulfil his duty, he understood that if he was exhausted, humans would be in their limit. Nonetheless, after everything went quiet, he breathed as if he had been deprived of oxygen for centuries.

The silence was appalling, announcing the misfortunes and desperation that waited for those who were still alive. Xiao took a look around, sighting Aether with Paimon, Zhongli, Kaeya, Diluc, Jean and some of the Knights of Favonious. He also saw some of his fellow Adepti and the Qixing. But he couldn't find Venti, the Anemo Archon was nowhere to be seen nor to be heard.

A bad feeling sunk in the bottom of his stomach, with shaking legs he started walking along the path of corpses, wishing to be mistaken and to not find his lover laying within them. When he saw no green in the clothes of the dead, he felt relieved, knowing that the Archon was somewhere else, until he saw the blue braids he loved so much.

His heart dropped while he approached the corpse, green clothes now red from blood, characteristic hat lost somewhere in the valley, aquamarine eyes, once full of life, now looked at the sky without emotion, lifeless, no soul behind them. The Adeptus' knees gave up and fell next to his lover's body. He was speechless, in shock, completely gone from reality as his brain tried to understand what was going on in front of him. 'Please, let it be another nightmare.'

With tremble hands, Xiao took Venti's body in a cold hug, the Archon's head on the Adeptus' chest that rumbled in a hurt scream, shouting to the skies and letting them know he had had enough, he had lost the person he loved the most. Swaying them both from side to side, Xiao cried, caressing Barbatos' hair. "I love you, please, don't leave me." Xiao begged, heartbroken. "I know I never told you, but I think- no, I am in love with you. At last, I understand my feelings. Please, Venti, don't go."

Aether came next to Xiao, pitying his friend's sobs that didn't stop. He also felt sad by Venti's loss, he considered the Archon his friend, and he was going to cry and mourn his death. Along with him, the survivors of Mondstadt as a whole kneed in front of the dead Archon and the Adeptus, bidding their goodbyes to Barbatos, the Archon of the City of Freedom.

2000 years later, in another dimension...

Xiao was late, he had overslept and had lost the train to the Conservatory, again. He had spent the night studying Harmony II and lost track of time. What was sleep for a student, though? 'Never heard of it.'

Running across the street, trying not to lose his piano sheets, he finally got to the bus station, the only transport apart from the train that could get him to his destination. It was to its fullest, so he would have to be standing, not very practical to study. He eyes followed the Chopin Nocturne nº20, thinking the rubatos in his mind and trying to memorize the digits in the final scales. He sighed, if he hadn't had spent so much time studying the Harmony rules in the Gregorian Era, he would have had enough time to practice piano. But organization wasn't his best attribute.

He trusted his ability reading at first sight and closed the folder, looking out the window. It was a good day, the sun was shining and lighting the path of those who walked in their way to their jobs, schools, universities or even who were just strolling. The few trees the city had were full of green leaves that were swaying to the sound of the pre summer breeze, warning people of the incoming heat wave. Xiao wished to finish the year as soon as possible so he could go to the beach and stroll and listen to music with the dancing waves of the ocean.

The rest of the morning went without incident, his inner talent allowing him to feign having study and his teacher praising his musicality. Xiao was a sensitive person, he felt too deep, different from what everyone who knew him thought of him because of his rough facade. His musicality and deep feelings were what made him an expert in Chopin, being the best in his region to play the musical pieces of the Polish composer.

He exited the place and walked to the train station thinking about his incoming exams, music was definitely one of the tougher and more beautiful things he had ever experimented. At the same time, he started listening a guitar melody and a sweet voice accompanying it; Xiao looked to the source of the sound and saw a boy his age playing an acoustic guitar and singing inside the train station. He had dyed dark blue hair, nearly black, that degraded into a light blue the nearer it came closer to his hair tips. He had enough hair to pull it into a bun, giving him a carefree look that matched his crop trousers, white t-shirt and denim jacket. But when they both made eye contact, Xiao swore to had seen those eyes before, gentle aquamarine gaze looking back at him.

The pianist stood there for a few minutes, listening and admiring the singer, but he had to go if he didn't want to lose the train. He just hoped he would see the singer again, captivated by his songs and, especially, his eyes.

Indeed, he saw the man every day since at that same spot, at the same hour, different songs. Xiao envied him, he also wanted to compose, but was too focused learning classical pieces to invest more time in composing his own ones, but he was positive one day he would.

It continued like that for a month; the man would be there, playing and singing while Xiao stood there for some minutes listening to him. He was so familiar and strange at the same time that Xiao had no choice but be intrigued by him. Until one day, the man wasn't there.

"What?" Xiao looked around, but the dark blue haired man wasn't in his usual spot nor in any nearby.

For a week, the singer didn't appear and Xiao started to think he would not see him again. Much to his disdain, he felt sad; he always waited for the time of the day where he would see and hear the man, it was like a ritual for him. Now, all of a sudden, it was gone.

Walking out of the train, distracted looking for the man, he didn't notice his folder opening and the piano sheets getting lost among the people.

"Hey!" he heard behind him. Even if he had never heard him talk, he knew it was him, his voice sounded as sweet as when he sang. He turned around and saw the singer behind him, shaking some papers in his hands, "I think these are yours!"

Xiao took at what the singer had in his hand. He was still rather shocked by finding him again after so long, but he paid attention to the papers to recognise them as his piano sheets, the ones he needed for his exam tomorrow.

"Thank you," he said nonchalantly, taking them from the other musician.

Their hands touched for an instant, a short among of time for any other mortal, but enough for them to feel a tingle inside their chests. Xiao took the sheets quickly and put some distance between them both. He didn't know what that feeling was and he definitely didn't want to discover it.

"You're welcome!" answered the man, smiling brightly after falling silent for a few seconds after the incident, "I see you play the piano, are you majoring in music?"

"Yes," replied the pianist, looking at everywhere but the man in front of him.

"That's so cool! I would have loved to learn music officially, but I had to conformed with learning by myself."

"I see."

"Hehe! I always saw you pass while I was playing, it's cool to know that I had a fellow musician listening to me!"

"Hmm, you're not that bad."

"Why, thank you."

The singer felt how closed up the pianist was, so he took it as a compliment, comprehending that maybe he wasn't really used to interacting with people. Meanwhile, Xiao was panicking. He had been looking for the man for weeks and now he couldn't even talk properly.

"What's your name?"

"My name?"

"Yes!" the singer waited for the other man to reply, patiently.

"...Xiao," said the pianist after considering telling him or not, "and yours?"

"I'm Venti, nice to meet you!"

Again, them both felt like those names were too familiar, a similar sensation like the one before arose in their stomachs. Venti smiled, something that Xiao noticed to be frequent, as in the two minutes they had been interacting he hadn't stopped smiling.

"Well, I hope I see you around! Maybe one day we can play together."

"I guess so, yes."

With a parting nod, Xiao turned around and went to his daily classes, not without thinking about their encounter. Something felt odd in the deep of the situation, he just couldn't think of what it was. Feeling like you know someone without having actually met wasn't something that happened at Xiao's life.

Returning from the Conservatory that afternoon, he first heard the guitar and voice, and then saw Venti playing at the train station. 'So, he's back, definitely'. He passed by him, Venti's eyes on Xiao already, giving each other a smile from the singer's part and a nod from Xiao's, and then parting.

The following weeks followed the same dynamic. Sometimes, Venti ventured to talk to Xiao, small talk, enough to get the pianist to open to him. He learned that Xiao was majoring in music specializing in piano, that he had his final exams in June and that he had a cat. The singer felt happy to have collected so much information for someone who rarely opened up.

"I was thinking that maybe we should play together," Venti said, one afternoon after Xiao returned from his classes. They had decided to have a coffee every Thursday to catch up and so they could have more normal conversations and not rushed ones at the station. Or, better said, Venti offered and Xiao just followed.

"I don't play your type of music."

"Ah?" said the singer, confused, "What do you mean with 'my type of music'?"

"Well, I'm specializing in classical music." Xiao shrugged his shoulders, returning to his almond and chocolate muffin.

"Well, yes, but that doesn't mean you can't play other styles."

Xiao continued eating, listening to Venti rumble about pop, rock and R&B. The pianist knew which styles they were, their characteristics and the most popular singers for each style, but something in the way Venti talked made him want to listen nonstop. The young singer was passionate about what he did, just as Xiao was about his profession.

"So? What do you say?"

"I don't know," Xiao started, biting his lip, "I don't think I would be good on it."

"If you can play Chopin and Mozart, you can play four chords on repeat."

Like that, Venti took Xiao to the little studio he had with Aether, his producer. Both musicians were really young, but had already launched a couple EPs. Xiao was amazed by the studio, there was a little keyboard, an acoustic guitar, an electric guitar and then the recording studio and the production table.

"Do you like it?"

Xiao just nodded, directing himself to the keyboard and switching it on. The keys were less harsh than a piano's keys, but he was sure he could manage to play on it. The sound was more electric, just what he expected.

Venti, on his part, was following Xiao's movements, happy to see him interested in what he could offer. He had been feeling dizzy in the pianist's presence for quite some time now, and he was sure he was falling for him. He was determined to show him how he felt and to open Xiao's mind.

"You can come here whenever you want, I would love to play with you," Venti said, smiling brightly when Xiao sat on the bench and placed his hand on the keys, "Can you play something for me?"

The pianist thought for some seconds, deciding on what he could gift Venti's ears with, and decided to play Fantasia in D minor by Mozart. A beautiful and complete piece by his favourite composer, he enjoyed so much playing him that got lost in the moment. The most difficult thing was to keep balance between the left and the right in the sense of sound, but for the rest Xiao had everything so clear that the melodies kept falling out of the keyboard.

After nearly ten minutes, hi finished. Venti was shocked by the way the man played, emotional and emotionless at the same time, a technique enviable. If he could do that in a keyboard, what could he do in a piano? What could he do in a harpsichord to keep up with the real instrument Mozart used?

"Sorry for the quality, a keyboard doesn't make justice to the piece." Xiao said, timidly, standing up from the bench.

"Nonsense," started the singer, still moved by the little performance, "it was incredible. You're such a good pianist!"

"I'm just mediocre." mumbled the man, blushing furiously.

"No mediocre pianist can do what you had just presented, Xiao."

They looked at each other on silence for a moment, Xiao noticing his heart rushing again. Something about Venti made him feel dizzy in a good way, it scared him, but also desired to know why he felt so attracted to the singer. Venti was just admiring Xiao's features, skin kissed by the moon, eyes deep as gold wells, rough expression that was becoming in a vulnerable one. He reminded him of a cat, wanting to make it look as he was independent and surly, but that actually was a sweetheart who needed love and care as any other human being.

'Maybe he'll let me love him in a near future.' thought the singer, gazing at a distracted Xiao, who was touching the acoustic guitar.

They decided to try and play something together, improvising in the moment and giving each other inspiration to think of better ways of following the music. Xiao had to admit to himself that it was fun and that it sounded good. He never thought he would be able to improvise to pop music, but there he was, following a guitarist and singer man.

Venti opened his mouth and started singing an, of course, improvised melody. Xiao nearly stopped playing, too distracted with the sweet and hypnotizing voice of the other man. Every time he heard him sing a memory came to his mind, one of that same voice singing just for him. Memory? No, it couldn't be. It felt like a dream, a very far away dream he had when he was a kid.

Venti, on his part, had the same memory whenever Xiao appeared when he was singing. He saw a lyre, green clothes and tattoos, golden eyes that returned his caring gaze; he also heard his own voice. What it was he didn't know, but that it had a meaning, he was sure.

The following days, after a hard time convincing Xiao, the both of them started composing a song. The chords were not the usual for the 21st Century chords, they reminded of an old Era, one forgotten by the human kind, one that only the two of them understood. The melody was melancholic, similar to a letter to a loved one you lost. The lyrics were heart-breaking, Venti provided a cruel perspective of love, requited love that did not fulfil the dream of both lovers of becoming true for centuries of being apart.

Xiao was in love with their creation, wanting to play more and more, getting lost in the music that Venti gifted him with. He didn't care about the heartache he felt whenever Venti called him 'friend', he didn't care about the goose bumps every time the singer touched his hand, he didn't care about the overwhelming desire to kiss him when he smiled. He only cared for giving him the best piano version he could offer.

"Crimson red blinded my vision, there and then you took the decision," sang Venti, fingers moving within the strings of his guitar, "'I'll see you again', you said, 'when the sun goes down and I don't feel regret."

Xiao played, keys sounding too much for his liking, he really disliked the keyboard, but it was his only way of playing with Venti. He had considered inviting him to his house, but the acoustic wouldn't have been that good.

"Arrows flied, swords were wielded, but your kiss was enough to put me out of war. Let me tell you, everything but you was a blur."

The pianist couldn't take it anymore, the lyrics had been giving him a headache ever since Venti wrote them. He loved them and hated them at the same time, it was like they were mocking him, remembering him of something he lost, but he couldn't remember what it was.

He stood up from the piano, storming out of the room and living Venti confused. The singer knew how Xiao could be, but that didn't make him feel less worried. He had never left a rehearsal, always playing his best and taking part actively in the decisions taken for the song. What could have trigger him so much to make him exit the room?

"Hey!" Venti called out, stopping Xiao from going out the studio, "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." replied the pianist, tone piercing.

"Don't even try that with me," said the singer, annoyed, "we're passed the state of putting a facade."

"Really, it's no―"

Venti didn't know what crossed his mind. He was so angry, frustrated, annoyed and disappointed in Xiao not trusting him after so much effort to get to him that he kissed him out of desperation.

The pianist couldn't move, not understanding why he had a pair of lips on his, but liking the feeling of the kiss. Hesitant, he placed one of his hands on Venti's waist and the other on his left cheek and corresponded the kiss.

Hearts content and reunited, jumping in euphoria; souls greeting each other after being apart for so long; bodies finding like you find an old item you forgot you had but that you deeply cared for. They separated, a thread of saliva connecting the two of them.

"W-what?"

"Come with me, my lovely adeptus."

"Adeptus? What's that?" asked Xiao, confused, still grabbing Venti's waist.

"I-I don't know, it just felt... right? To say." replied an equally confused singer.

Venti dismissed the topic fast, carrying Xiao with him to the studio's couch. He made the pianist lay on it while he topped him, kissing him again and again, taking away his shirt after checking for his consent.

The windows tarnished because of the heat, moans of pleasure could be heard as they both took care of the other in a loving way, caressing, kissing, biting their bodies. When Venti entered Xiao after preparing him, they both saw the stars. Love noises filled the empty and soundproof room, fastened breaths demonstrating the effort of being in love, orgasmic euphoria filling the empty space on their chest, gifting them the chance of reuniting something that didn't consummate on the past.

No amount of time could break the bond they created at that moment mixed with the one they forged two thousand years prior. Post orgasmic music running between them as they recovered from the love-making session.

Venti got up, searching for towels on the little bathroom of the studio to clean both of them, trying to extend the blissful moment before they had to talk about it, focusing on the aftercare.

"Thank you." whispered a tired Xiao after getting cleaned up and being helped to put his clothes on.

"It's nothing," said Venti, shy for the first time the both of them had met, something that didn't passed Xiao's observant skills.

"Do you... regret this?"

"No!" exclaimed Venti after noticing the insecurity on the pianist's voice, "No, of course no. I was just, you know, wondering if..."

"If?"

"Wondering what this leads us to."

Xiao thought for some seconds, he knew he liked Venti, it would explain his body reactions whenever he was near him, and he understood what had just happened as Venti returning his feelings. For what he had read on books, that meant they were dating, but he could be wrong.

"I guess I'm your boyfriend," he mumbled, gazing at the floor.

"B-boyfriend!?" asked Venti, surprised of the statement the other man made.

"Isn't that the term for the person you are dating?"

"Uh... yes, but you hadn't asked me to be your boyfriend..." Venti was amused and shocked with Xiao's bold attitude, but he blamed it to the pianist's lack of experience.

"Oh, then, would you be my boyfriend?"

"But don't make it so... cold!" Venti face palmed, laughing at the situation they had at hand. He had to say, though, Xiao's ignorance on the topic was adorable, his heart was melting at the man's confused gaze.

"Then how?"

"Forget it, yes, I'll be your boyfriend." Venti replied, still laughing.

"Okay, good," said Xiao, nodding and processing the information. "now what?"

"Now we continue with the song, that we have to finish recording it."

Venti stood up from the couch, giving Xiao a small peck and 'hehe'-ing after. He positioned himself on the guitar again, shaking a little at the amount of emotion running through his veins. The pianist was still on sitting, watching Venti's every move the same way he looked at his piano. The singer was touched by the sincere look on Xiao's eyes, meaning he did feel the same.

"C'mon, little Adeptus, go play the piano half as good as you played my body."

The blush on the other's man face was imminent, causing Venti to find his new favourite thing: teasing the music student.

Music had reunited the lovers that war separated once, being the conductor channel of an Archon and an Adeptus to find their way back to the other's arms. Their past kept a mystery from them both, but their souls did remember each other, hugging and causing the two men to love as much as they once did. A bright future waited for the two talented musicians now that nothing could separate them again.

The air was pure and clear again.

[janetbrown711]

Maybe one where William tells Yakko his favorite story? The one where he and Angelina meet? Maybe could have some parallels to the scene in wakkos wish where yakko is telling dot her story, things like the nose snuggles 😖💕

Prince Yakko Warner wasn’t an exceptionally energetic three-year-old, but he still liked to stretch out his “awake time” as long as possible, especially if the day was special (such as a holiday or birthday). So, it was a nightly tradition for King William and Queen Angelina to have to go back and forth in settling the young prince down for the night. 

“Daaaaad tell me the storyyyy,” He pulled on his father’s sleeve as he set him into his bed. 

“The story? Which story?” William teased as he tucked him in, but Yakko squirmed right out and got on top of the blankets. Yakko frowned. 

“The story. About you and mommy,” He huffed. Angelina laughed as she folded his day clothes and set them aside. 

“Ooh, that story,” William winked playfully and Yakko giggled and nodded. William looked at Angelina and smirked. 

“You know, I don’t think I remember that one,” He said. Yakko gasped. 

“You have to!” Yakko pleaded. 

“Oh? And why is that?” William said, and Angelina shook her head.

“It’s my birthdayyyyyyy,” Yakko collapsed face down onto the bedding and William laughed.  

“Alright, because it’s your birthday I’ll remember it,” William said, and Yakko rejoiced, shooting right up again. 

“Well, I’ll leave you two to it,” Angelina said, giving Yakko a quick kiss on the cheek, but Yakko grabbed her arm. 

“Stay with me,” He gave her puppy dog eyes.

“R-really?” Angelina asked, not used to the invitation. Yakko nodded and patted behind him. She glanced at William, who nodded, and she scooped up Yakko and sat down, before placing him back in her lap. Yakko then snuggled in close and motioned for William to begin. 

“Alright now... let’s see...” He stroked his chin, before snapping his fingers. “There once was a man from Mantucket-”

“That’s not the story,” Yakko interrupted, and Angelina did her best to repress a chuckle. 

“It isn’t?” William tilted his head innocently. Angelina gave him a “don’t make this last too long mister, Yakko still needs to go to bed at a reasonable hour” look. 

“No,” He huffed. “You say ‘once upon a time there was a beauuuuutiful princess.”

“Right right right,” He agreed. “I remember now... let’s see...”

“Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess-”

“That’s you mommy,” Yakko looked up at her and Angelina smiled and nodded. 

“-whose name was Angelina,” the king continued. “She was beautiful, intelligent, wise, graceful, and everything a princess ought to be,” he said, glancing at Angelina as he spoke. 

“And there was a knight too!” Yakko said. Angelina rubbed his arms. 

“Let him tell the story dear,” She whispered, more so because he was getting too energetic again. Yakko nodded and zipped his lips before returning his attention to William. 

“Oh, but he was only a squire at the time,” William pointed out. Yakko nodded, memorizing the fact. “But yes- there was a squire too. He was bold and brave, but also optimistic and true, but he had a major problem and that was that he was terrible at talking to pretty girls.”

Yakko snickered at that. 

“So when he found out he had to live on the grounds of the Warnerstock castle for his knighthood training, he nearly panicked at the thought of having the chance of meeting the beautiful princess he had heard so much about.” 

“However, the squire kept his cool until-”

“Until his first day at the stables, where he met her,” Angelina winked at Yakko, who giggled more. William rolled his eyes. 

“Yes. It had been a long journey to travel to the castle. The squire had to travel over hills and valleys, across mountains and rivers, to finally arrive, and when he did he was put right to work with training. So, by the time he had to attend to his horseback riding lessons, he was already quite tired, but upon seeing the face of the Princess, a newfound sense of energy and purpose had filled his entire being.”

“Or in other words, the squire was instantly in love,” Angelina said. Yakko cuddled closer to her and smiled. 

“Oh yes, it was quite instant. In fact, it was so instant, that the squire instantly fell apart once she started speaking to him.”

“And all she had said was a simple ‘hello’,” Angelina snorted. Yakko then shushed her and she backed down. 

“That’s true. The princess had greeted him while getting off her horse. Her beauty so entranced the squire, that he didn’t pay attention to where he was going and tripped right over a bucket of water, which then went everywhere,” He and Angelina both laughed at that. 

“Of course, the squire apologized profusely for his error, but thankfully the princess was as patient as she was beautiful and she helped him up. She asked him about himself, and he told her willingly, but when he was called to his lesson, she stayed and watched. After the lesson, they talked more and more, quickly becoming very good friends.”

“But the evil queen didn’t approve,” Yakko said. William nodded, and Angelina gripped Yakko’s blanket.

“That’s right. She was mean, and didn’t like the young squire, or her own daughter for that matter,” he said, glancing at Angelina, who motioned for him to continue. 

“But the squire and the princess carried on anyway, knowing deep down no matter what happened they were destined for each other, it was written in the stars,” He said with a comforting smile. 

“And so every spring, they’d take walks in the gardens and plant new flowers together, and watch each other ride on horseback, and slowly but surely the princess fell in love with the squire too.”

“Knew it,” Yakko whispered to himself and Angelina kissed the top of his head. 

“And so they waited and waited for their time to come, planting countless flowers and singing countless songs as they waited, and one day the Evil Queen died, and the princess and the squire could finally be together.”

“Yay,” Yakko cheered and clapped, though a bit tiredly.

“No less than a month later, the pair were married, and the Princess became Queen and the squire became knight then King,” William explained. 

“And then what happened?” Yakko asked. 

“Well... a month or so later, the new King and Queen planted another garden, to celebrate their marriage and the beginning of their new life together and well... later came the cutest baby boy the kingdom had ever seen,” William said

“Who?” Yakko questioned with a yawn.

“You, silly,” Angelina chuckled, scrunching her nose against his. Yakko giggled. 

“You were the cutest baby the kingdom had ever seen, and the kingdom was excited to see they had a healthy heir to the throne, and everyone welcomed in a new era of peace and prosperity,” William said, moving to sit next to Angelina on the bed as opposed to across. 

“Was I really that cute?” He asked. 

“The cutest,” Angelina assured. 

“Oh yes, the Queen couldn’t stop crying upon seeing how cute the new prince was.”

“Oh, but the King wasn’t any better,” Angelina gave him a look. 

“No, no he wasn’t,” William laughed and admitted. Yakko smiled and scooted over to be in between the two. 

“So then what happened?” Yakko asked with a yawn. 

“Well... then they had to raise the new prince,” William stated. 

“It wasn’t easy at first, but with teamwork and just the right amount of love, they’ve done a pretty good job so far, if I may say so myself,” She kissed Yakko’s forehead and slowly stood up, and William copied the motion, the two carefully tucking him into bed. 

“Mhm,” Yakko agreed tiredly. “After that?”

“After that? Well...” Angelina glanced at William. 

“They started making plans for a new garden too,” William said, kissing Yakko’s forehead. 

“And then?” He asked again. 

“I don’t know. Guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” Angelina said, embracing his face with her gloved hand and rubbing his face with her thumb softly. 

“Awww,” Yakko frowned. 

“Goodnight Yakko,” William said. 

“What? I’m not tired,” he protested, right before yawning. Angelina rolled her eyes. 

“Do you want a lullaby too?” She asked. Yakko smiled and nodded, adjusting himself to be more comfortable in bed. Angelina shook her head softly with a smile. 

“Goodnight, goodnight, it’s time now to sleep,” She sang softly, pulling up the blanket to cover his shoulders. “the moon’s watching over, you and your dreams.”

“Goodnight, goodnight, my sweet little one,” She kissed his forehead once more. “Tomorrow your eyes, they will light up the sun.”

She then hummed the melody once more, and Yakko hummed along, a small smile on his face. 

“But goodnight, goodnight, sweet dreams for now.” She sat, keeping her distance. “Drift off to sleep, on your pillow of clouds.”

“Goodnight, goodnight, my sweet little friend. Tomorrow’s adventure, they will soon begin,”

“They will soon begin,” She practically whispered, as the prince was now asleep. She smiled. 

“Goodnight my dear,” She said softly, standing up and going to the doorway.

To her surprise, William was standing in the frame waiting for her. She closed the door softly, and the moment she turned around he pulled her into a much welcomed, but surprising kiss. 

“What was that for?” She asked, forcing them to move away from Yakko’s bedroom. 

“I love you, Lena. I really, really do,” William said with a soft smile. 

“I love you too William,” She smiled and kissed him back, before pausing. 

“Were you really serious about planting another garden?” She asked, her arms around his neck. William nodded. 

“Only if you want to as well, of course. I just... don’t see the problem with having more than type of flower,” He said, blushing. Angelina smiled and kissed him again. 

“We’ll see now won’t we?” She winked. William chuckled tiredly and together, arm in arm, they walked back to their bedroom, and tucked themselves in for the night. 

[writingwhimsey]

The Tiger and The Oda Princess Ch. 18

Chapter 18

After my first long night as a mother, I was woken up for my first long day. I rubbed my bleary eyes as I was once again bringing my baby girl to my breast for another feeding. My nipples were already starting to get sore from what felt like constant feedings. Asuna had given me a salve she'd made to help soothe them.

"Are you alright, my love?" Shingen asked as he sat beside me.

I felt like crying. "It just...hurts." I answered, trying to hold back the tears.

"Keep applying the salve after every feeding and washing it off before the next." Asuna told me, a sympathetic look on her face.

I just nodded.

Shingen was reaching up a hand to gently stroke my hair, doing his best to comfort me.

"When you're finished, we'll need to get you up and moving. Take you to the bath. That should help you feel a bit better, taking a nice long soak." Asuna said.

"A bath does sound nice." I agreed.

"I'll just go clear out the hallway first." She said.

I looked at her in confusion. "What?"

"Everyone has been out in the hallway since you went into labor yesterday." She answered.

"Seriously...even all night?" I asked.

Asuna nodded. "But don't worry no one is coming in until you say you're ready to have visitors." She assured me.

"So...they even slept out there?" I asked.

She nodded. "Yup."

I bet they're all really anxious. I mean...women do die from childbirth quite often in this time period. I thought.

"Is something wrong, my love?" Shingen asked me.

"Maybe after my bath...we should let them in." I said. "I bet everyone is worried."

"You don't have to think of anyone, but you and our daughter right now." Shingen told me. "They can all wait until you're ready."

"It won't kill them. I promise." Asuna said. "But if you do want to let them in after your bath, that's totally up to you. I'll give them all some orders in that case."

"Orders?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Asuna just smiled at me. "Don't you worry about a thing, okay. I'm used to ordering scary people around." She then winked at me before stepping out into the hall.

"Should I worry?" I asked looking at Shingen.

He shook his head. "No, Asuna can handle them...or do you not recall her sending all of us out of your room in Azuchi?"

I laughed at the memory. "True." I thought back to that day and everything that had happened. I thought about all of the hope I felt when everyone had come together for me. I looked at our daughter who had finished nursing and was now sound asleep in my arms. "I think I know what we should name her."

Asuna...

Asuna stepped out into the hall and all of the warlords were awake. They were stretching and walking around to work out the stiffness. "Alright, Ava is almost ready for you guys to come in and visit, but there's some stuff that's gotta happen first." She announced.

"What is it?" Hideyoshi asked.

"She's going to get a bath, so you all have to clear out of this hallway for one thing. But I've got something I need each of you to do."

"I bet I know what my orders are." Masamune said, already heading towards the kitchen. "I'll make sure the lass has a nice big meal."

"Better make it nutritious!" Asuna called after him. She was then turning to the others. "Hideyoshi, I need you to brew some tea." She then listed off all the herbs that should go into the tea.

"I can do that." He said, heading off to join Masamune in the kitchen.

"You believe you can order me around?" Nobunaga asked her, his tone amused and yet challenging.

Asuna eyed him. She wouldn't back down from his challenging gaze. "I know everyone here cares about Ava. She just had another person come out of her body. She's exhausted and unfortunately won't be getting any restful sleep for quite a while. She's going to need a lot of support. So since everyone wants to see her, you had all better listen to my orders to help support her. Is that going to be a problem Devil King?"

Nobunaga smiled. "I like your audacity." He replied. "What is it I can do to help?"

Asuna gave him a task and then the others. She then found the maids and had them prepare a bath for Ava. She also added some special medicinal herbs to the bath water before going back to the room o fetch Ava.

Ava...

Asuna returned to the room when my bath was ready. "Alright, time to get you up and moving and get you to your bath." Asuna said.

I nodded. "Okay."

Shingen had already placed our daughter in the cradle and was squatting down in front of me. "Allow me to help, my goddess." He said, reaching his arms out to me.

I placed my hands on Shingen's arms gripping them, his large hands were under my elbows helping to support me. Slowly with his help I rose to standing. "Holy..."

"What's wrong?" Shingen asked, worry instantly coming to his eyes.

"Is this normal?" I asked looking at Asuna, my eyes wide.

"Feeling like your insides are going to fall out?"

I nodded. "Yes. It's terrifying."

"It is completely normal. After your bath, I've got some extra fabric to help bind your belly up beneath your kimono. That should help." She assured me.

"You could have warned me." I told her.

"No warning could have really prepared you, trust me." Asuna replied. She was then coming over to us and wrapping an arm around me. "Let's get you to your bath. Lord Shingen you stay here with the baby."

Shingen nodded. "Alright." He was then giving me a kiss on the cheek. "You rest and enjoy your bath."

Asuna helped support me as I walked, my legs feeling weak. Before going to my bath, I made her aware of the fact that I needed to go. She helped me to the toilet. That was...an experience...and on a Sengoku era toilet too! After that we went to the bath.

Asuna helped me out of my night robes. During my pregnancy I had been putting a special oil on my belly that was supposed to help with stretch marks. Funny how even back in this time women were worried about that, funny thing was it seemed to be working as I hadn't seen any stretch marks. I looked down at my stomach, seeing my new body...I was shocked.

This wasn't at all like in the movies and TV shows. My stomach had not flattened back out like it always did in the movies. Though I had been expecting that having heard it from so many women.

"Ava?" Asuna asked.

"The damn stretch marks were all hiding on the underside of my belly this whole time!" The deep purple lines on my lower belly caught me completely off guard.

"You seem really surprised."

"Well, I'd been putting that oil on my belly three times a day...and I never saw any stretch marks...but now that my belly is shrunk down and I can see my feet again...I can also see where the bastards were hiding."

"It's totally normal to have them, Ava."

"I know...I just...I wasn't expecting that is all."

Asuna patted my shoulder. "Come on, just get in your bath and relax."

I nodded and then with her help, climbed into the tub. She then left to give me some privacy. I settled into the water and began to wash myself. My body ached and was sore in so many places. I sank back into the water hoping its warmth and the herbs Asuna had put in it would help sooth my tired and aching body.

Asuna...

As soon as she left Ava, Asuna went to fetch Otsuna. They then returned to the birthing room where Shingen was with the new little baby. "Otsuna you look after the baby for a bit. I need to get Lord Shingen and the others together for a little meeting." Asuna said.

Shingen looked at Asuna. "Is something wrong?" He asked, as he reluctantly handed his daughter over to Otsuna, who was eager to hold the new Takeda baby.

"Oh what a precious little one you are." Otsuna gushed.

"Just come on, Lord Shingen." Asuna told him.

He nodded and the followed her out. Asuna worked quickly to gather every one of the warlords. "What is wrong? Is Ava alright?" Shingen asked.

"She's fine." Asuna answered. "I know after her bath, she's planning on seeing all of you, but before that happens, we've got some ground rules to cover."

"You dare give me orders?" Nobunaga asked.

Asuna stood her ground against him. "If you expect to see Ava, then yes. I am her midwife and I am the one who is in charge of her care. So yes, I will be giving you all orders on how best to support her in this difficult time."

Nobunaga smiled. He truly enjoyed Asuna's fiery attitude.

"What is it?" Shingen asked.

Asuna sighed. "Ava is extremely emotional right now. Possibly even more emotional than when she was still pregnant. She is going through a lot of changes. Getting in the bath she just realized some of those physical changes. So, everyone is to be nothing but nice to her. If you say one thing that makes her cry or sad, I swear I will ram a senbon through your hand...and I'm mostly talking to you Yukimura and Mitsuhide."

"What? Why me?" Yukimura asked.

"Are you telling me to refrain from teasing?" Mitsuhide added.

"Yes, Mitsuhide...and Yukimura, you're kind of an idiot when it comes to talking to women."

"She does have a point, Yukimura." Sasuke agreed.

"Lord Kenshin, you can't go starting any fights. No trying to stab anyone or pulling out your sword."

"Then how am I to have any fun?" Kenshin replied. "Besides, it might be worth it to see you try to harm me."

Asuna glared at him. "I will not hesitate to skewer you."

"How about I just ground spike him in?" Sasuke suggested.

"Alright, I'll put you in charge of making sure Lord Kenshin behaves then." Asuna replied. "Masamune, you just keep feeding Ava. Lots of nutritious food, throw in a few sweets for comfort food as well, but not too many."

"I can do that." Masamune agreed.

"Hideyoshi, keep up with brewing tea and just being your general caring self...but don't be overbearing."

"Oh, that is hard for our mother hen." Mitsuhide said with a grin.

Hideyoshi glared at him. "Someone has to look after everyone else. If I don't do it, no one else will."

"Alright, Nobunaga, Lord Shingen, you two are not to fight. No pissing contests. It will only stress out Ava. And she is already stressed enough with trying to figure all of this out and not getting much sleep." Asuna said.

"I would never do anything to add stress on my goddess." Shingen replied.

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Nobunaga replied. "I am a grown man."

"Yeah, well act like it then. Seriously best behavior you two." She warned. She was then looking directly at Shingen. "And Lord Shingen, I can't believe I am saying this, but for all that is good flirt with your wife. Do so even more shamelessly than you normally do."

Shingen widened his eyes for a moment at this part of his orders.

"No, don't tell him that!" Yukimura grumbled. "He's already terrible enough as it is. How else do you think she got pregnant?!"

"Oh so you do know how it works." Asuna retorted. She was then looking at Shingen. "Do you hear me?"

"I have no issues with it...but why are you actually telling me to flirt harder with my goddess?"

"Because she got a good look at how her body has changed and...well I could see it in her eyes. She's definitely self-conscious about it. So flirt like your life depends on it...but don't expect anything. It's going to be several weeks before she is healed up enough for...that."

Shingen nodded. "I have no problems telling my beautiful wife how beautiful she is."

"Alright, then we are all set." Asuna said with a sigh.

[missdawnandherdusk]

stay alive and say you love me

Remus X Reader (marauder’s era)

Summary: Request: @heavenlyrainyparis​: something angsty with young remus

A/n: ehehehehehehehe

There was a myth that werewolves were dangerous, that much was known. But there were also rumors that the man was not completely lost inside the beast. That if their true love spoke their full name, without fear of the beast, but with love of the man within, the curse would be broken.

Fairytales were nice and all, but real life held a different tone. When the werewolf was your best friend, and you weren’t sure true love existed, fairytales seemed sort of... stupid.

Yet, month after month, for five years you watched your best friend come back beaten and bruised. Scarred and damaged. And it broke your heart. All you wanted was to make it better. To make it go away...

“That’s not for you to worry about,” Remus croaked from the hospital bed.

“I can’t watch this, Remus,” I took his hand in mine, pressing it to my lips, and inhaling deeply, trying to reassure myself that he was alright. He squeezed my hand with the strength he had left.

I drew the line that summer. There had to be a way to make it go away. After that night, I wasn’t going to give up until I found the answer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Remus appeared out of nowhere, tapping on my window weakly. I jumped, surprised, but smiled when I saw that it was Remus. My smile turned to despair when I realized my windowpane was now streaked with blood.

“Remus!?” I threw the window open, frantic. There was no use in trying to help him though without placing my hand on an open wound. There were too many.

“Rem!? What happened?” I interrogated laying him on the bed. My eyes flickered to the night sky and I had my answer.

Blood soaked through what was left of his shirt and the few bits of unmarred skin I could see were covered with a sheen of sweat.

“Come on Remus, just a bit longer, just hold on,” I murmured, pulling out my wand.

The healing spell was slow going. Very slow going. I wasn’t strong enough to do it on my own.

“Mum!” I screamed, tears in my eyes. “Mum!?” My desperate plea had both her and my dad barging into my room, wands drawn. “I can’t do it,” I squeaked. “I... I’m not strong enough,”

I could hear them gasp at the boy who was lain on my bed and without hesitation, they got to work. My father ordered me to get towels and dampen a washcloth. I scrambled to the bathroom and tried to follow his orders with shaking hands.

When I came back into the room, Remus was no longer bleeding out, all of his wounds had been stitched back together with magic, but there was still so much blood. Too much blood. I stood there frozen.

“Y/n,” My mother broke my trance and my feet pulled me forward. “He’s going to live,”

A hopeless cry left my lips as I shook like a leaf in a hurricane. Remus was still out cold, probably from the blood loss or the intensity of the magic, but it didn’t aid my thoughts of him dying in my arms even the slightest. Rational thoughts had been thrown out the blood-stained window. My mind went onto autopilot.

My father closed the window and threw a quick cleaning spell to tidy my room and rid it of blood, but Remus and I were still covered in it. I understood the need for the towel and washcloth. With help from my mother, I was able to get his shirt off.

Next was the blood. There was so much of it over him. Gently with the damp washcloth, I began wiping it away. Starting on his chest working down. The red gave way to beautiful pale marred skin. Next here his hands and forearms. Bit by bit I cleaned all of the blood off of him.

My father came in with a clean rag, and taking it, I wiped the sweat from his face, brushing his hair from his face. His steady pants against my fingers gave me hope that he would be okay.

“Come back to me Remmy.” I cried softly, tears making their way down my face. My mother placed a hand on my shoulder. I looked up to her, hopeless and scared.

“He’s going to be alright,” She encouraged, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “Stay with him tonight. We’ll contact his parents.”

“James and Sirius,” I choked out.

“We’ll take care of it,” My father smiled softly. “Rest now darling. You did well,”

I collapsed beside Remus and as soon as my eyes closed, I didn’t have the strength to open them again.

I woke, blazing hot in the middle of the night and realized why as soon as my eyes adjusted. Remus had moved and was now on his side facing me, his arms cradled around me ensnaring me in the sauna I woke up too.

I frowned though my muddled sleepy thoughts. He was never this warm before. One quick touch to his forehead and I felt him burning under my fingertips. Regretting to leave him, I scrambled out of bed and moved Remus back onto his back, carefully tucking his arms on his chest. I dampened another washcloth and pressed it to his forehead then I decided to get another and carefully wipe down his neck and shoulders in hope to cool him off. It seemed to work. His skin wasn’t burning under my touch anymore. I wished he’d wake and drink some water. It would help.

I thought about getting my mother again, just to feel the comfort, and to be consoled that Remus would be okay, but a soft croak caught my attention.

“Y/n?” A weak voice called. I went on high alert.

“Remus! Great stars, are you okay!? What happened? Do you need anything?” Tears pricked my eyes as I reached out for him.

Remus gave a weak laugh that turned to coughs so I helped him sit up and rubbed his back just between his shoulder blades. I reached over and offered him a glass of water.

“Please drink this,” My voice was hopeless as I begged.

He didn’t protest as he drained the glass. His breathing was still slightly strained, but he was awake. I could be grateful for that.

“How do you feel? Do you want anything?” Worry riddled my voice.

He shook his head and set down the glass.

“Thank you.” He whispered out his voice less raspy.

“Don’t do that to me,” I whimpered, wrapping my arms around him, burying my face in his shoulder. Weakly I felt his arms encase me.

“I’m sorry.” He choked out. “I knew you’d be here.”

I nodded, “I’m always here, Rem,” My tears fell onto his shoulder.

My adrenaline wore off and I could feel my eyelids growing heavy, but I didn’t want to sleep. Not when Remus was awake, not when I could be reassured that he was alright. But Remus must have sensed my exhaustion and carefully tucked me into his arms and pulling a blanket back over us, letting me sleep as his blue eyes stayed trained on mine.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that night, I was always beside Remus every night after full moon. When James and Sirius brought him back and he’d recover in the hospital wing. I was right by his side. Something changed between us. A bond was formed. That night we realized how much we needed the other. It was always unspoken, but it was not unseen by others. It kept my by his side whenever I could manage. In the halls, in class, at meals, in the common room, during the summer.

It was fifth year that I had found the book. That I had read the rumor. The possibility.

“...just as love holds power, so do names. To speak the name of a man to a wolf with such love is enough to break the curse of the moon...”

I told Remus. And he refused to let me even try. We fought over it again and again. Every time I would argue that I would not go through that night again if I had the chance to fix it. Remus always demanded to know if I loved him. I didn’t know how to answer that, and the matter always dropped. McGonagall didn’t have an answer for me. No one had an answer for me. I only had one question. And the next full moon I would have my answer. I would have my best friend finally safe.

I followed the five of them to the Whomping Willow and called for Remus before they could disappear. I watched the horror settle in his eyes and the disbelief in James’ and Sirius’. Peter had disappeared. Remus was the first to speak.

“What the hell are you doing!?” He shouted at me. “I’m dangerous Y/n! Please for your own good, go back!”

“My own good!? Remus, please! I have been there since we were kids! You think I’m gonna back out now!?” There were tears in my eyes as I reached for him. “Let me do this, please,”

James and Sirius came rushing up behind him but paused at the scene.

“Y/n, it’s a full moon what are you doing!?” James hissed.

“I’m not giving up on him,” I snapped back. “Not again,”

“Y/n, please be rational, you can’t protect yourself! How do you think I’d feel knowing that I’d hurt you!?” Remus was close to tears.

“The only way you’d hurt me is to make me leave,” I cried. “Remus, please,”

Before my eyes I watched the moonlight wash over the four of us and I saw three of my friends morph into animals, two of them coming to protect me, one glaring me down snarling. Remus launched himself at me but Sirius, now a large black dog, intercepted. A scream left my lips as I watched the two fight, crashing down the hill.

I started to go after them, but James stood in front of my, antlers barred. 

“James this is ridiculous!” I shouted. “Remus is my best friend!”

James bayed at me, knocking me back.

I heard a howl of pain and I pulled out my wand, stunning James and running toward the sound. I saw Sirius limping away and Remus was circling around him, growling fiercely. Without thinking I put myself between the two, wand at the ready to protect Sirius from getting hurt worse.

“Remus, please,” I begged. “You’re not the wolf, you’re... you’re my best friend.”

The wolf stalked closer barring his teeth at me, his golden eyes shining. Sirius snarled from behind me.

“I’m not afraid, Remus,” I whispered. “I’m not afraid of you. I’m not going to run.”

Golden eyes flashed a deep blue then back again. It gave me hope. I finally asked the question. I finally answered Remus’.

“I love you, Remus John Lupin,”

Reaching out for him I watched in shock and awe as the wolf before me became a bit more human with each second that passed. Soon Remus was curled up on the ground, shaking. Quickly I took off my robe and draped it around his shoulders. Tousled brown hair fell about his face. I slowly reached up and brushed it away.

“You do love me?” He panted out.

“Of course, I love you Remus,” Tears stung my eyes. “How could I not?”

“I’m... I’m a monster,”

“No, you’re not,” I smiled, stroking his cheek softly. “You’ve never been a monster,”

“Hey not to break up a sweet moment, but uh, what did you do to James?” Sirius asked, now on two legs. “I’ll fix him I just don’t know what counter curse to use,”

“Oh,” My cheeks flushed red. “I stunned him.” 

“Okay, cool, continue,” Sirius nodded.

Remus laughed hopelessly beside me, and I joined in. I laid my head against his shoulder and looked up at the moon.

“Please don’t ever do that again,” Remus spoke softly. “You have no idea how scared I was,” 

“I’m sorry,” I amended quickly. “I really am, I never want to hurt you Remus,”

“The only way to hurt me is hurting you,” he clarified.

I nodded and intertwined my fingers with his as we watched the moonlit valley.

“Oi! Y/n! What in Merlin’s name possessed you to—” James stopped short when he saw Remus and I sitting together in the grass, both human. “I thought he was lying.”

“I told you so,” Sirius muttered.

“You really got him to turn back? And you couldn’t have mentioned that before we had to go quiet for a month?” James demanded. “You’ve known this whole time!?”

“We didn’t know if it would work,” I clarified. “And Remus wasn’t willing to risk it.” 

“By the way what the hell were you thinking?” Remus scolded again, pulling me closer.

“I couldn’t watch you keep destroying yourself Remmy,” I looked up at him through my eyelashes and saw forgiveness in his eyes.

“So... you’ve known about this for how long? And you wouldn’t let her?” Sirius raised an eyebrow at his friend. “What would make you think that it wouldn’t work? You love her, Rem. And bloody hell she loves you,”

“I could never admit it,” I gnawed on my lower lip. “I was so scared to,” I hid my face in his shoulder. “All I could think about was that night... and losing you for good, and I was scared,” Remus rubbed my arm comfortingly, holding me tighter, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

“Come on love birds,” Sirius grinned, “Let’s get you inside,”

Though our little secret kept Remus from transforming more than a few moments, it didn’t change his exhaustion beforehand and slightly after. Nor did it deter his craving for chocolate, but along with these permanent things over the years, one thing also never changed.

You loved Remus John Lupin.

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masterlist

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brother’s best friend

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