#but also like.. when they say on the news that there are unemployed lazy people who just aren't working. they're talking about me.

[tidepoolalgae]

.

[junrenjun]

it’s nighttime where i’m at….im coming out with the thoughts

obv don’t have to answer all but just some thoughts to munch on. i know these are a lot but just..,need to push them out

who was/were the first partner(s) mc had to help in their rut/heat?

also the comment about seungcheol being where they got their possessiveness?? def need to know how that came to be 👀

also also not spicy but jeonghan seems to be appearing in a lot of fics (he is one of my top biases so 😋) so it kind of seems like they close?

hoshi horanghae agenda??? how does he support that in this au and imagine mc being introduced to that joke/persona and their thoughts.

pack movie night?? what would that entail: who is the cuddliest, the most scared (and who comforts), when would they have the time during their idol lives? (also what does mc do?)

I cranked this out fast dude. Here’s everything broken down as briefly as possible:

I thought about making Minghao the first person for her to share a heat with, but I also think he’s pretty guarded about things like that, so I decided against it. I think that her first glimpse of heat was with Jeonghan. He likes being able to make sure all of his pack is safe during his heat, so he asked to see her. She stayed longer than necessary more for moral support than sexual, but still. First rut is with Wonwoo because he’s a sucker for her. And he’s a softie and she likes that.

Seungcheol (especially pre rut) is so jealous and possessive. Both in normal life and sex. You know Cheol is either going into rut soon or is just emotional about something when he’s scenting the pack like his life depends on it. No one leaves the house without his scent mark. Also, he uses “my” CONSTANTLY, hence why Jeonghan made that comment in Burn. He’ll say things like “my alpha/beta/omega” when referring to pack members. For the members who like praise during sex (like mc), he always adds it to whatever the praise is. “My good girl.” “My strong alpha.” “My naughty omega.” Yeah, his pack is his alright?

Jeonghan fic is coming eventually I promise. I don’t have it as a wip right now, because none of the plots I have come up with seem to fit him. If you have any ideas, plz send. Anyways, he is Mother. He is the pack omega, so he feels a constant need to check up on mc as the newest pack member. Even if it has been years since she’s become a pack member. They are definitely close, because mc knows that he’ll always be there if she needs someone to fall back on. He likes teasing her bc he’s a little shit as always. But that’s nothing new, he does that with all of his pack. 

I tbh have never thought about horanghae in relation to this series so you really have me thinking now. I lowkey think the pack was like “dude please do not do that in front of her” when she was first being introduced. And then one time he let it slip and he was mortified because they haven’t explained it at all to her so now she probably thinks he’s weird. But she just laughs and finally someone explains it to her and she joins in on occasion now. Most of the pack has some sort of group photo as their phone lockscreen, but Hoshi has that feature on where it rotates photos. One of those photos is a selca of him and mc doing horanghae. 

I knew someone would ask about what mc does eventually. I honestly try to be as neutral with my mc as possible, so that people can fit their own interests into the fic. If you want mc to be a doctor, cool. If you want mc to have a corporate job, cool. If you want mc to be unemployed, also cool. It’s whatever you want her to be. That’s why I make the fics as just little glimpses into the pack’s life, so that I don’t have to worry about specifying that mc is going to work tomorrow or if she has the day off or whatever. Personally, I hate reading fics where mc has a job I would really hate doing. It deters me from reading the fic and I don’t want that to happen with this series (i’m also lazy and don’t want to deal with the logistics of writing in a job). As with movie night, it happens as much as possible. When their schedule is set ahead of time, they use their little kitchen calendar to plan out as many movie nights as possible. It also turns into a pack nesting session like 90% of the time. All of the omegas are typically cuddly, but someone is always curled up with Jeonghan. Seokmin also finds the need to be in someone’s arms during every movie night. As of lately, everyone knows to leave the seat next to Wonwoo for mc. He gets pouty if she cuddles with someone else for too long. If they are watching a scary movie, Vernon is always the first to scream (goodbye to his big tough alpha image) and Seungkwan usually laughs at him (and will comfort eventually). Minghao dislikes scary movies and Seungcheol will often comfort him on these nights.

[innitmarvellous]

Well, they say writing down positive things and thoughts is supposed to boost your self-confidence, so...here's a list of the good things that happened to me in 2023, or also some little achievements I'm a bit proud of. It's definitely not much compared to everyone else, but...I'm not supposed to compare myself to others, right? So I won't do that. Well...at least I'll try ;)

- most important things first: somewhere around April I started watching HIGNFY and it sort of changed my life - I met nice people through the fandom (hello! :D), I got back into fic writing and my politics obsession came back in full force. Oh, and I finally got myself a new man crush <3 (and we all know who I'm talking about, even the non-HIGNFY followers because I haven't shut up about it since April)

- started doing the Welsh course on Duolingo and it's quite fun so far (& am doing some occasional French and Latin lessons too - I still remembered a lot of the French even after taking a break for a few months, which is nice)

- started doing exercise again after 4 years of laziness, and I'm still able to do 10 km on one of the higher settings of the exercise bike - yay

- read 80 books (might finish one or two more in December), which is about average for me looking at the last few years...at least there were quite a few non-fiction books and not as many shitty novels than a few years ago lol. My main goal for the next year(s) is to read even more classics...and buy fewer books. (Note to idiot self: read the hundreds of bloody ebooks you downloaded already...lol)

- finally started writing smutty fics - I don't think my writing style is very sexy though, but I couldn't say for sure...I kinda like it tho 💦 And I generally stopped worrying about whether my fics are too stupid for posting...well, maybe they are, but I'm trying to make that everyone else's problem haha

- dared to post selfies because I'm actually starting to kind of like the look of my face - pretty amazing because I used to think I'm the ugliest person in the world and I'm not even kidding here (although, looking at old pictures of me still make me want to cry and laugh at the same time - some people apparently really do get more attractive as they get older 🤔)

- I think I'm feeling a bit better about myself in general? Well, alright, no matter how I look at it: I'm still some badly educated & mostly unemployed loser with no hopes for a relationship, but...I don't seem to care about that as much anymore. Maybe something good did come from the fact that I basically abandoned all hope/expectations about my life when I turned 30...the last two years certainly felt sort of easier than everything before that? I definitely didn't beat myself up over some random shit as often as I did in other years. Hm. Maybe I can build on that in the future.

[the-real-zhora-salome]

Rishi Sunak’s big speech on reforming disability benefits was intended to show that the government had a grip on the economic and health challenges of the UK’s rising levels of long-term sickness. Instead, it came over as an administration running out of ideas, high on strident rhetoric, and desperate to cut welfare bills at all costs.

It was a “moral mission”, Sunak declared, to overhaul the current welfare system, which was “unfit for purpose”. Disability benefits were too easy to cheat, too cushy, too easily claimed. The speech was a clear appeal to the notion, in vogue on the right, that “mental health culture” has “gone too far”.

“Sicknote culture” – the idea that millions of lazy Britons are taking sickies with the connivance of GPs – was also in his sights, although there was little evidence to backup his assertion, or explanation as to how the changes would work. The underlying message was clear: claimants are lazy and the system too generous.

The most significant announcement was the proposed redesign of the main disability benefit personal independence payment (Pip). Ministers are convinced that far too many people – especially those with mental illness – are able to claim Pip, a non-means-tested payment designed to help claimants with the extra costs of daily living.

It is likely to focus on narrowing eligibility to drive down the Pip bill so that fewer awards are made, and at lower rates. Sceptics will point out that his was tried a decade ago, when Pip was introduced in place of disability living allowance. That reform – at the time brutally controversial, and incompetently managed – has clearly failed, even on its own terms.

Sunak sugared the pill of cuts with pious platitudes. He was “giving back hope” to people who had lost all “dignity and meaning” when they became entrapped in the vortex of the welfare state, he said. It was a familiar Tory tune – the idea that millions of people are not so much ill as spiritually lost.

Sunak floated other under-explained ideas: long-term unemployed claimants who refuse to take any job offered to them would have their benefits withdrawn; mentally ill claimants would be offered medical treatment as an alternative to cash benefits. But these felt like fodder for culture warfare rather than serious proposals.

The reaction was fierce. The disability charity Scope called it a “full-on assault on disabled people”. The Joseph Rowntree Foundation described the speech as “an irresponsible war of words on people who already aren’t getting enough support”. The Resolution Foundation said it was “a problem statement, not a plan”.

Labour’s acting shadow welfare minister, Alison McGovern, promised to reduce NHS waiting lists, reform social security and make work pay, but she was not clear precisely how Labour would do this. What is certain is that the challenge of long-term sickness – and the impact on the labour market – will be a priority for the next government.

A Labour government would need to balance restraining the benefits bill while addressing wider reasons behind mental illness such as poverty, insecure work, ineffectual job support and inadequate NHS care. It does not help – as the IFS said – that no one can yet fully explain what is driving the recent explosion in the takeup of health and disability benefits.

The Institute for Fiscal Studies (IFS) estimates that one in 10 working-age Britons are receiving health-related benefits, and this is expected to increase. New monthly claims have doubled since the pandemic, especially among young people: a 20-year-old today is about as likely to claim a health-related benefit as a 39-year-old was in 2019.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sunak here with crystal clear fascist rethoric.

But I have to say this here

It does not help – as the IFS said – that no one can yet fully explain what is driving the recent explosion in the takeup of health and disability benefits.

is a remarkably dumb thing to say by the IFS, and even worse is the Guardian just repeating it.

The reason starts with C and ends with -ovid. Jesus Christ on a cracker.

[collymore]

The sooner the Windsors are on a roller coaster's ride to Hell, the better!

By Stanley Collymore My God! In Kate and William I've honestly in all my years never seen any two people more fucking plainly disinterested, detached and basically thoroughly essentially lacking in distinctively demonstrably crucial empathy or passion, and evident enthusiasm for almost everything they show up for. Quite honestly these two very literally, pathetic cunts are beyond bland! Prats who might quite actually carry out, what's dictated to them as directed by their Palace PR controllers but in actuality they really look as though they hate each minute of what they're actually doing and effectively therefore, as a result, everything is distinctly a rather debilitating chore, in the massive and distinctively fraudulent acts, that they are enforcedly engaged in. Quite frankly I've seen mechanical robots, with significantly far more interesting and plainly interesting human empathy. (C) Stanley V. Collymore 12 January 2023. Author's Remarks: What kind of a role model is the lazy Kate Middleton? Her only perceived achievement, and a basically dubious one at that, is that she eventually did marry William Windsor, a member of a privileged, unwarrantedly evidently obscenely wealthy and essentially an unelected monarchical family. Rather literally Kate has deliberately so been wilfully and fecklessly in the bargain been unemployed all of her asininely pathetic life. Now "works", if you can sensibly or even logically call it such, the least of all the other Windsors; is so totally pathetic at giving speeches, even most laughably so, when avidly employing her ludicrously acquired, fake and purportedly posh accent. As well, and moreover, Kate Middleton has achieved nothing on merit. And prompts the obvious question to all those who can think for themselves, what kind of a role model is she? A role model simply by so obsessively stalking and relentlessly ultimately snaring and marrying a rather dozy prick of a rich man I do humorously guess? Because there's nothing else on this avid social climbing, distinctly rampantly snobby and odiously racist Karen's part! One member of a distinctly unelected monarchical Klan sickly gushing over another in Rania's case? Evidently the Palace PR and Daily Mail's effectively ongoing brownnosing so desperately at work essaying to get Waity Katie to look good and worthy; obviously very worried, and aptly so they should be! So what was Rani meant to say Daily Mail? Asked a question in the wake of Liz Windsor's fake funeral - the evilly racist old cow who distinctly stopped parliament from ever implementing the Race Relations Act discernibly as far as both she and her racist family  were concerned, was unmistakably to anyone with a functioning brain and knew how to use it, was already long dead and buried, and these laughable shenanigans were undeniably Palace contrived shenanigans to milk public orchestrated grief to give Charlie boy an easy induction as he's essentially not particularly liked by loads of his own "subjects". And Rania commenting on Kate in a very pointed question she was asked and about a woman that Rania quite obviously didn't know and seemingly so still doesn't, Rania stupidly but too diplomatically rolled out the crap she told the reporter automatically. But Harry does know Kate intimately and that she's nothing but a tantrum induced toddler! So the basically Nazi aficionado Daily Mail quite naturally is pathetically grasping at straws as it inevitably does with Meghan and also Harry, so there's clearly nothing new there. And basically as for Rania, she was hardly going to say that Kate is a lousy bitch, was she?

[mostlysignssomeportents]

The once and future mass-resignation and what it means for working people

Once upon a time, a terrible disease swept the lands, prompting a great wave of resignations as low-waged workers walked off the job, rejecting offers of pay raises that would have been unthinkably lavish just a few years earlier. Their bosses went nuts.

The former employers of these workers slammed them as lazy and greedy, and called upon their fellow bougies to take up “unskilled” labor and scab those proles back into the workplace. When that didn’t work, they passed laws that banned desperate bosses from bidding up wages. That didn’t work either, so new crimes were put on the books that made it easier to slam unemployed people in notoriously cruel prisons. That failed, too, prompting cuts to the already grossly inadequate welfare system, trying to starve workers back into their jobs.

That also failed. In the end, the situation led to a mass redistribution of wealth and a period of unheralded pluralism and opportunity for workers whose families had been stuck in low-waged, dead-end work for generations.

This isn’t a covid story. It’s the story of the post-Black Death labor markets in England, where desperate noblemen passed the country’s first labor law, the 1349 Ordinance of Labourers. Chroniclers of the day urged “knights and churchmen” to get into the fields and shame their social inferiors back into harness.

https://sourcebooks.fordham.edu/seth/ordinance-labourers.asp

This threat didn’t get the peasants back into the fields, so the law threatened out-of-work people with prison, capped wages at pre-Black Death levels, and banned begging at funerals (“practically the only form of social welfare available”).

The failure to force workers back into the fields left landholders unable to profit from their lands, prompting sell-offs that created the middle class. Real incomes doubled. This is a pattern that follows every pandemic, according to an NBER paper that found that after every pandemic, wages shoot up and the return on capital tanks:

https://www.nber.org/system/files/working_papers/w26934/w26934.pdf

I learned about all this from David Dayen’s brilliant longread for The American Prospect, “The Great Escape,” featuring the voices of workers who have — or are thinking of — walking off the job.

https://prospect.org/labor/great-escape-why-workers-quitting-pandemic-trauma/

As Dayen points out, the great resignation includes workers in all kinds of jobs, not just low-waged ones, but resignations are concentrated at the bottom of the wage-scale. It’s not hard to see why: Dayen recounts the stories of workers in national chains that were bought out by private equity looters whose much-vaunted “efficiencies” boil down to slashing wages and imposing cruel and dangerous conditions on workers.

There’s Caroline Potts of Murfreesboro, TN, who loves dogs and was excited to get at job as a groomer at Petsmart. It seemed like a dream-job, but Potts learned she was expected to meet impossible quotas, working at a rate made the experience traumatic for dogs. She also learned that Petsmart management was only paying lip-service to its policy of excluding dogs with seizure disorders or problems with stressful environments. She worried that she was going to preside over the death of one of these dogs. To make things worse, her customers were routinely abusive to her and her employer did nothing to shield her from their bad conduct.

Potts was locked into a two-year noncompete contract and was only able to quit for a rival company by begging her manager to release her from it. Needless to say, many workers in noncompetes won’t be so lucky — and fast-food restaurants lead the nation in the use of noncompete agreements.

Zella Roberts worked in fast food — she was a Sonic carhop in Asheville, NC. When Sonic got scooped up by Roark Capital, the new owners switched to exclusive app- and credit-card-based ordering, with no facility to tip employees. But Roberts was being paid $5/hr, a “tipped minimum wage” premised on the worker being able to make up the difference from tips. It’s illegal to pay tipped minimum wage to workers who can’t collect tips, but that didn’t stop Sonic.

It’s not just fast-food and pets. Ed Gadomski was a 32-year veteran of the IT department in CT’s Waterbury Hospital. When Leonard Green & Partners bought the hospital, they laid him off and then offered him his old job at $13.46/h, a third of his former wage, with no pension or health-care (at a hospital!).

Predictably, regular large-business abuses are sinking to the level of private equity. Reina Abrahamson of Salem, OR was a Wells Fargo customer rep working from home. She was put on minimum salary for six months while Wells processed a request to supply her with a 100 foot Ethernet cable that would reach from her home router to her computer (she supplemented her wages driving for Doordash).

Amazon is a leader in labor abuses. At Stephanie Haynes’s job at an Amazon warehouse in Joliet, IL, she was given tasks that were literally impossible to perform while maintaining six feet of social distance — like lifting a pallet with a co-worker. Haynes lost her fiance to covid and decided it wasn’t worth risking her own life to help Jeff Bezos grow his fortune, so she walked off the job from March to July 2020.

We know only a fraction of what goes on at Amazon warehouses, and that’s by design. Monica Moody was fired from her Amazon warehouse in Charlotte, NC for talking to the press about her labor conditions.

The “essential workers” of the pandemic died in droves — a study found that the highest covid mortality among working-aged people was among cooks, warehouse workers, construction workers, bakers, etc:

https://www.medrxiv.org/content/10.1101/2021.01.21.21250266v1.full.pdf

Dayen writes that as intolerable and dangerous as these workers’ jobs were during lockdown, they got worse afterward, when stir-crazy, traumatized, short-tempered customers showed up to scream at them and even assault them as they tried to enforce masking rules and vaccine requirements for entry.

No wonder workers are quitting. But they’re not just quitting — they’re also striking, with or without a union. America has experienced a vast, wildly under-reported wave of wildcat strikes. Take the Jack in the Box franchise in Sacramento where un-unionized workers struck twice. As Leticia Reyes — a worker who took part in both strikes — tells it, the first strike was prompted by management’s refusal to fix the AC during a 109' heat wave. “The first time, she wouldn’t listen to us, she ignored us. The second time, she told us it wasn’t high temperatures, it was us workers going through menopause.”

The workers got the AC fixed…and their manager got fired. And then the workers struck again, in protest of wage theft (they weren’t getting their mandatory paid breaks and overtime). The owner and his cronies crossed the picket line and tried to do the workers’ jobs…and couldn’t. After three days, management caved.

Says Reyes: “I am no longer scared to speak up. Big companies need us as workers and we should not be afraid to speak up.”

Practically the only place you’ll learn about stories like this one is in Payday Report (“Covering Labor in News Deserts”), a crowdfunded site that has chronicled 1,600 walkouts throughout the pandemic:

https://paydayreport.com/

Viral phenomena like #QuitMyJob and photos of handwritten “We all quit” signs hint at the true scale of the great resignation, and they inspire others to do the same. There’s good indications that employers are finally responding with better pay, benefits and conditions, but there’s no reason to think they’ve had a true change of heart. If the labor market changes, they’ll claw back those gains in a heartbeat.

But as with the 14th century post-plague labor markets, our workforce’s unwillingness to go back has proved remarkably sturdy. For example, red states that canceled covid relief early in a bid to starve workers back into dangerous, degrading, underpaid jobs are experiencing the same shortages of low-waged workers as blue states where benefits continued without interruption. Part of that might be due to a genuine worker shortage — 2m workers took early retirement during the pandemic, and a legacy of Trump’s ethnic cleansing policy has starved many sectors of precarious and desperate workers.

Cementing these gains over the long term will require institutional shifts: the threshold for a wildcat strike is very high, but labor action gets easier as labor gets organized. New unions are popping up across the country, and existing unions are finding unsuspected reserves of militancy. 1.3m Teamsters have new leaders who are committed to organizing grocery stores and Amazon warehouses:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/11/19/hoffa-jr-defeated/#teamsters-for-a-democratic-union

And striking nurses and Teamsters, and workers at factories from Kellogg’s to John Deere, are pushing to eliminate the disastrous “two-tier” contracts that destroy union solidarity, rendering unions toothless:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/11/25/strikesgiving/#shed-a-tier

Companies that seemed immune to unionization, from Amazon to Dollar General to Starbucks, are now fighting pitched battles against their workers using tactics that grow thinner and less credible by the day, as John Oliver documents with characteristic scathing hilarity:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gk8dUXRpoy8

Provisions in the Build Back Better bill don’t go as far as the PRO Act, but they will still add to the union movement’s tailwind.

But it’s workers, not law, who ultimately control the outcome. I’ll give the last word to Christine Johnson, a historian at Washington U in St Louis, whose work on the Ordinance of Labourers is cited by Dayen:

“If you don’t actually change the structures of power, and you don’t actually enact some changes in the labor and social hierarchies, it’s not going to produce lasting improvement in conditions of labor.”

[beebubb]

How much I think the pastas make and what do they spend money on (also this is based on my AU I made)

Jeff the killer: makes the most money out of all of them (except for the proxies) sense he was slenderman's first killer apprentice. Jeff has good stealth and very agile with the knife and really strong. Though him earning more and being good at his job has made him kinda cocky and a bit narcissistic. The only thing thing he still struggles with at his job is controlling himself and sticking to being stealthy sense he's used to savagely attacking his victims and making a huge mess (slenderman doesn't really mind the mess but he doesn't like when he loses control of himself sense it usually draws attention to Jeff or others that are on the mission with him and police come). As to how much money he makes a year he makes around 110K. He's makes good money but he doesn't "look" wealthy sense he doesn't like fancy stuff like designer clothes or go out to eat at 5 star restaurants. He prefers to save his money sense he doesn't use much sense he literally just wears jeans and hoodies.

Jane: makes around 75K sense she doesn't really kill like the others. She just kills only when it's necessary and when they need backup. She isn't dedicated much sense her goal used to be to get revenge on Jeff but it pretty much failed sense no one can kill or hurt anyone that lives in the mansion. She saves up her money that she earns and she's pretty fancy so she sometimes buys designer clothes and buys cosmetics usually (especially spends on makeup like jeffree star)

Ben drowned: makes 80K a year. He dedicates to hacking and online stalk future victims or any zalgo enemies. He would probably make way more if he decided to become a full time proxy like masky and hoodie but he's kinda lazy to work all the time. His money doesn't last him much sense he's always spending his money on merch, anime figures, and video games.

Nina the killer: she makes around 80K sense she does enjoy killing and will kill anyone just for fun (just like Jeff). She would make way more if she actually stuck to plans and was more professional at her job sense, just like Jeff, she loses control and attacks randomly (let's say masky and hoodie has to bail her out of jail many times). She loooves to spend money on clothes, makeup, accessories, etc though she ends up being broke for all the excessive shopping (though sometimes she wants to save money to buy a Luis Vuitton bag)

Ticci toby: earn 130k a year. Even if he is considered "immature" or "irresponsible" at his job, he is actually really good at his job. Ever sense slenderman helped him with his ticking and his mental disorders, he has had more control over what he does and how he does it. Also let's say his numbness to pain helps him last longer when it comes to fights with zalgo minions and fesity victims. He saves his money sense he doesn't really have anything to spend on except for the occasional prop or material he'll need to prank or mess with masky

Hoodie: makes 150k a year. He's had a lot of experience and is great at stealth, clean with his kills, quick, and great and getting rid of evidence. He saves up money sense he doesn't spend on much besides on beer

Masky: he makes the most out of any proxy due to working with slender for many years and being good at his job sense he has good knowledge on stealth, manipulation, getting rid of evidence, and actually knows a lot about hacking like Ben (he makes 250k) but he doesn't keep much of it sense he asked slenderman for a money loan years ago and still isn't done paying him. (he refuses to tell anyone how much he asked for and on what the money was used),so he's usually broke and can't spend on much and if he does spend money on something, he looks for the best deals

Sherry: 90k a year. Usually new proxies make a bit less due to not having many years of experience but what helped her earn more was her forensic science knowledge and psychology (it came useful when interrogating zalgo minions or victims) , which was very useful for cleaning evidence after a kill. She usually saves up her money but she sometimes buys games and consoles like Ben sense she always wanted a PS4 and Nintendo switch when she was little. So basically anything that she wasn't able to have as a kid, she buys it now.

Eyeless jack: he earns around 300k a year but not for working for slenderman, but by selling organs on the black market. He only stays at the mansion sense he also has knowledge about biology and forensic sciences like sherry, so he helps them from time to time. He saves up money sense he doesn't have anything to spend on sense he doesn't even need to buy food sense he's a cannibal.

Laughing jack: doesn't have much of a stable income. He's unemployed and sometimes earns money if he catches a temporary job. He stays at a shitty apartment with will Grossman sense he literally can't afford anything better. When he does have money he pays his half of the rent and the rest usually goes to food or beer.

Clockwork: 80K a year. She's good at her job sense she has good stealth and is actually very patient when it comes to victims, she leaves a huge mess though, and buts it's not much of a problem sense the proxies usually take care of that. Probably the only thing she spends on is weapons sense she likes to experiment sometimes.

Amelie: she makes 95K a year. She makes a bit more than usual for a Starting proxy sense she has knowledge on killing (she learned from her family sense they were a mafia family) and knew how kill, get rid of evidence, and stalk people. She is a big spender sense her clothing is pretty much all designer made and likes to go on frequent shopping sprees like Nina. Also her brother and father are millionaires , so even if she earned less, her dad and brother would literally buy her anything she wanted.

Will grossman: doesn't have a stable income either. He's unemployed and just like LJ, he sometimes gets money for temporary jobs. When he does have money he pays his part of rent and the rest goes towards food, video games, and beer.

Amari: 65k a year. She knows a lot about stalking, getting rid of evidence, and has a good physical form and endurance but she doesn't earn much still sense she hasn't gone to any proper missions with the proxies sense she is a student at the institution (goes to the same school as will). They still pay her though because even though she hasn't been in many missions, she still helps them in things like cleaning the area and stalking victims. She is studying to become an official slender proxy though. She spends her money on rent (decided to live with will and LJ so rent wouldn't be too expensive and also to hide that she was a slender proxy apprentice and not draw attention to zalgo or his minions) and buys groceries to actually make proper food for will and LJ and herself (basically being the mom of the group). She doesn't mind how much money she earns at the moment sense she came from a wealthy family and inherited a good amount of money)

Damien: is literally a millionaire. After he died and got to the underworld, he started his own weapon and drug business which actually became really successful. He can spend all the money he wants.

[pacifymebby]

I've had to take some time out because my mental health has been really bad but now I'm trying to look for a job. I'm kinda scared because I know if I get an interview I'm gonna be asked about the gap in my CV and I don't really wanna go into detail with a stranger and tell them everything. Do you have any advice?

Okay so, are you in the UK? I only ask because my advice will be different. I know in the UK they are not allowed to discriminate about sickness, and you can then spinn it to show that you're mature and know when to draw boundaries and not burn out. You can use it as well to say you think it will allow you to mesh well with a team and be a supportive team member.

You wouldn't have to disclose details but you could just say you had to take time out for illness. And you can also make a bit of shit up too and say that whilst you were taking that time out for mental health, you kept yourself mentally active by trying to build new skills.

A big thing I find about the UK is that things are only bad if you did them in a stereotypically working class, peasant way. If you were just off sick and u weren't coping and you're working class, you can be hit with oh that's lazy, they have no work ethic. But rich people have gaps in their cvs for things like travelling or just perusing personal interests and hobbies and then suddenly that's fine and not lazy and actually makes them an asset.

So you just have to spinn it, do an alaisdair Campbell and tell them why it's actually really good that you took time off.

The main thing they don't like it when you can't account for being unemployed, like if they think you were unemployed because other people wouldn't hire you, but if its like, I made the adult decision to take time for myself because I could afford to do it and I wanted to better myself as a person blah blah blah they eat that shit up.

The UK is a total class circle jerk idk.

Idk about other countries and whether they are allowed to discriminate about sickness and mental health issues and stuff. In the UK though it's actually better to disclose your mental health issue in advance becayse they can't not employ you for that reason specifically and also, if you get sick in the future whilst you're employed they have to respect you.

It doesn't always mean that those rules get followed but if you join ur union and all that, it does give you extra protection and assurance.

I'm proud of u for getting back out there, I hope you get the job!! And I'm glad you're doing better than you were angel, you've done really well to get yourself to this stage ❤️❤️❤️

[thegreenwolf]

(This post was originally posted on my blog at https://thegreenwolf.com/its-okay-to-not-hustle/)

There’s this meme going around Facebook right now, saying “If you don’t come out of this quarantine with a new skill, your side hustle started, or more knowledge, you never lacked time. You lacked discipline.” Thankfully multiple people have already skewered it, but it continues to be shared around by the sort of person who is trying to one-up everyone else, or who’s just plain clueless–or, for that matter, just trying to guilt you into buying whatever they’re selling.

Now, there’s not a damned thing wrong with self-promotion. That’s how indie artists, authors, and other self-employed folks get the word out. You have to be able to talk good talk in order to get people’s attention. But leading with this meme? Guilting people for not leaping from sudden unemployment straight into the thick of the ever-shifting gig economy? That ain’t gonna fly, Brocephus.

You Have Good Reasons to Slack

Excuse me while I dust off my counseling psych degree a sec, here. *ahem* We are in a very sensitive, turbulent time right now. We’re in the middle of a pandemic, the likes of which hasn’t been seen in a century in the Western world. We are in a hugely traumatizing situation here. Not just for the financial losses, but the fact that COVID-19 has killed thousands of people and left many more with permanent lung damage. We still haven’t gotten a handle yet on exactly how contagious this thing is, how long you’re contagious for, or whether you’re immune once you’ve had it, assuming you survive. We don’t have adequate testing, emergency rooms estimate that for every positive test there are 10-20 people out there infected and untested, and everyone with a cough is suddenly Schroedinger’s COVID case. Governments worldwide are slow to react in spite of the rising death toll. People have had friends and family die horribly from this thing in a short period of time. Even people who didn’t already have issues with anxiety, depression and other mental illnesses are feeling stressed, strained and scared–and, yes, traumatized. This image is guilt-tripping people who are actively being traumatized.

So we’re already starting with a populace that is dealing with this collective trauma, as well as whatever personal trauma each individual is experiencing. Not always easy to seize the day when you’re going through that. And I can think of a few other reasons that might further complicate this whole “Just get a side gig!” thing:

–They’re a parent who suddenly has all their kids at home, all the time, demanding time and attention and food, AND they still have to work eight hours a day from home, or maybe even more if their S.O. is unemployed/sick/etc. By the way, if someone trots out Isaac Newton or William Shakespeare or some other historical guy who managed to do epic things during a pandemic, remember that they usually had wives or servants to do all the laundry and cooking and cleaning and (if applicable) childcare for them.

–They’re disabled or chronically ill, and don’t have the ability/energy/etc. to just go and make something happen, just like that. Imagine if you just randomly got the fatigue from a really bad flu, and you never knew whether it was going to last a day or a month. And if you tried exerting yourself when you were feeling better, chances are you’d slip back into fatigue-land. That’s what a lot of my chronically ill/etc. friends have to deal with, to say nothing of issues with accessibility of resources for starting a side gig.

–They don’t have any money for the supplies needed to start a side hustle, or the supplies have been hoarded by hobbyists preparing for a Pandemic Staycation.

–They don’t have the skills for something that just requires what they already have (like, for example, writing on a laptop you already happen to own). Often these skills are things that can’t be perfected in a few weeks at home, but may take years to develop before they’re really marketable–like, for example, the skill to make a decent living on side hustles.

–They have anxiety, depression or other mental health conditions that make it hard to function even in the best of times, but even moreso in this…well…mess. Even people who were mentally healthy before are going to be developing diagnosable anxiety and depression disorders before all’s said and done. And speaking from personal experience, those of us who look successful on the outside can still be internally hamstrung by these conditions at times.

–Plus there’s the fact that we’re not supposed to, you know, leave our homes, which narrows down the field of potential side gigs by a lot.

Even doing something less financially-wrought like learning a new skill or subject takes time, energy, and sometimes money, any or all of which may be scarce for the reasons above and more.

Comparison is the Thief of Joy

I am saying all of this as someone who is arguably an expert on the side gig. I have spent the past eight and a half years 100% self-employed (and a lot longer doing it part-time) as an author and artist, able to cover all my bills and expenses, and for a time I was the primary breadwinner of a multi-person household. I have like ten different things I was doing for a living before this all hit, a pretty diverse set of streams of income, even if most of them just up and evaporated in the past few weeks. And while I’m definitely a hell of a lot leaner now than I was a month ago, I still have my head above water for the moment. So I think I know side gigs.

I’m one of the lucky ones. I’m overall healthy. I have a dog who is a lot less demanding of my time than kids would be. I have my own space where I can focus more or less without interruption. More importantly, I have the skills, the knowhow, the drive and the personality to go out and seek new opportunities. And I’m used to fluctuations in income, though admittedly this one’s unprecedented. Don’t gauge yourself by where I am now. I’ve spent twenty-two years building up my art business, my first book came out in 2006, and I’ve had a series of really good opportunities come my way that I had the privilege to be able to make the most of. I am not your measuring stick, so don’t say “Well, if she can do it why can’t I? I must suck!”

If you’re feeling crappy because you aren’t hopping to it and carpeing the diem and getting everything done, here’s what I have to say to you: Look, you just had your world turned upside-down. Job loss, scarce commodities, sudden lack of outside childcare, restricted movement and inability to be around much of your support system, and did I mention a pandemic is happening, too? Any single one of those things would be difficult for just about anyone to deal with, never mind all at once. And I don’t even know what all else has already been going on in your life–unstable or unsafe living situation, other health issues, breakups and other losses, interpersonal conflicts. You know, normal life stuff.

You’re Not Lazy, or Screwing Up, or (Gods Forbid) Undisciplined

It is totally okay if all you’re doing right now is surviving. It’s okay if you feel like you’re drowning, overwhelmed by all that’s happening both on a global level and more personally. It’s okay if all you can manage right now is to get out of bed and stumble through each day a moment at a time, struggling with a tidal wave of emotions. It’s okay if you’re just trying to keep your kids busy, dealing with a crowded home every single day, or trying to keep COVID-19 at bay. It’s okay if, instead of firing up DuoLingo or opening an Etsy shop, you spend your evenings vegging to Netflix or reading a book or playing hours and hours of Animal Crossing.

Not every moment in your life has to be about being productive even in the best of circumstances, and that goes exponentially so right now. Be patient with yourself, and be kind. You may be one of those folks who literally has to spend all their time scrabbling to try to cover the bills or get some leeway from bill collectors, and you have to dedicate your waking time hunting for resources just to try to get through this week. Believe me, I feel for you, I have a lot of friends in that situation right now, and I hope all of you can find some relief and assistance.

May I suggest something? If you have the energy for something more than the bare essentials of getting by, put that energy toward self-care, whatever you can manage under the circumstances. You can use it to recuperate, to rebuild your emotional and physical resilience. That way if things get rough again in the future, you have more internal reserves to build on. If your usual methods don’t work or aren’t accessible due to lockdown, ask others what they’re doing to keep themselves grounded in this trying time.

Just because you have more time doesn’t mean you don’t have to throw yourself right into something productive! Don’t feel pressured to just go-go-go the moment you have a little freedom to move. If you do decide you want to try a side gig, or a new skill, or learn all about some specialized topic of interest, go for it! If you have the energy and attention and opportunity to pursue something new, it can be a great coping skill during this traumatic time. Just don’t pressure yourself; keep it fun.

One last thing: I want you to save the image I have at the top of this post. And then if you see someone post that meme, saying “Come on, you lazy bums, get up and make that side gig happen! Learn new stuff! Do all the things! No excuses!” you pull out this version, and you look at the edits, you remember that it’s okay to be where you are, and you get back to doing things at your own pace no matter what someone else says. (I find visualizing stapling a printout of the edited version to the offender’s forehead to also be therapeutic, but that may just be me.)

Hang in there, okay? It’s going to be a rough time, but you’re not alone, and what you’re feeling right now is shared by so many people. So just let yourself be where you are in this moment, and we’ll see what hope tomorrow brings. And remember that whatever you’re capable of in this moment: it’s enough.

Did you enjoy this post? Please consider supporting my work on Patreon, buying my books here on my website, buying my art and books on Etsy, or tipping me at Ko-fi!

[mimzy-writing-online]

Hi! I just wanted to say thank you for writing the 'How to Write a Blind or Visually Impared Person'. I myself am not Blind or Visually Impared and i am in the process of writing the basis for such a character and your guide really helps. (And will help as well as be shared to those I know whom also need to see this.) I do have one question though: What about writing people blind from birth?

So, with writing characters who are blind from birth, it’s important to remember that there are both real people who have been completely blind from birth and people who have been legally blind or VI from birth. So, with blindness from birth, it doesn’t necessarily have to be no sight at all. It’s also important to note how small a minority that is in the blind community. 

Statistics

2.4% of Americans are living with visual disabilities. (Total (all ages): 7,675,600)

0.8% of school age Americans (ages 4-20) are living with a visual disability. ( Total: 706,400). This accounts for 9.2% of the entire blind community in the country.

90% of the entire blind community world wide has some remaining vision. People who are completely blind are a small minority.

Source: National Federation of the Blind

Molly Burke and her boyfriend Adrian (this post was written in 10/20/2020) are both people who have been legally blind from birth or a very young age (I can’t remember exactly when Adrian said he went blind, but it’s been his entire memorable life, though he still has remaining vision).

Most children are not diagnosed right away at birth. It heavily depends on the eye condition in question. Unless you had an easily observable symptom, such as nystagmus or pupils which don’t react to light or lazy eye, doctors and parents are unlikely to notice right away.

Most blind children don’t realize they’re blind until they’re a bit older and have developed enough communication skills to recognize that the visual experiences their family describes don’t match their visual experiences. Slowly small moments and situations begin to pop up where you realize there’s something everyone else seems able to do easily that you’re struggling with.

Particularly severe vision issues will be noticed by parents sooner than more subtle ones. The more usable sight a child has and the fewer visually observable symptoms they have, the longer they’re going to fly under the radar until the adults in their life realize something is different. Even then, it might not be until the child is able to communicate an inability to see what they’re describing that parents might realize something is wrong.

More severe vision issues will be picked up sooner. Parents realizing their children doesn’t respond to peek-a-boo or their eyes don’t follow moving items but sound will get their attention.

At this point in life, the economic situation of the child’s family will have a huge impact on how they grow up.

Families living below the poverty line or living in countries (America) where health care is expensive and treated as a privilege rather than a necessity and human right, or simply isn’t available at all, will have a much harder time getting their child diagnosed or treated.

Those families likely won’t have the education or knowledge needed to realize what is wrong and how they can help their child. Like health care, knowledge/education is treated like a privilege instead of a necessity and human right.

The education their children have access to will likely be lacking as well. Poorer communities have less funding for their students than wealthy communities. Those schools will have an even more restricted budget for accessible education, meaning they might not be able to pay the wages of a teacher’s aide to work one-on-one with that child in class, or have access to magnifiers and braille books/typewriters/education. Even though by legal law they must provide accommodations for disabled students, it doesn’t mean they will, and a financially disadvantaged family won’t have the resources to fight the school for their child’s rights (or even be aware of their child’s rights in the first place).

Children from middle class or wealthy families will (like all children in their community) have a huge advantage over their peers who attend schools with fewer resources. However, those blind children still have a disadvantage with their own peers.

Again, a school might refuse accommodations because administration can be jerks like that. It happens all the time. Parents may have to fight for their child’s rights to equal education through an aide, accessible school materials, and blind-friendly education.

Molly Burke made a video recently talking about her experiences with education as a blind child.

Learning Braille is a huge step in helping blind children, but it’s becoming less popular as audiobooks become more available. Audiobooks are amazing, and that method of reading is just as valid as any other, however a child reading solely with audiobooks will lose the literacy benefits. Like any writing system, Braille teaches spelling and grammatical rules necessary for educational and professional writing. While Braille is a writing system unique to itself, it still lives within the confines of whatever the native speaking language of the child is. Braille in English still uses the same spelling and grammatical function English uses. Braille in Spanish still bends to the rules of Spanish.

This is very different from different sign languages which can have grammar and syntax rules that completely differ from the native language of that country. Which is why you have languages called American Sign Language and British Sign Language and Canadian Sign Language that are using in English speaking countries but function very differently from both English and their fellow Sign counterparts. I’ve heard it said that ASL is more similar to the grammar structure of Chinese than it is to English, which gives the Deaf community a literacy disadvantage of their own when their native language and their reading/writing language are completely different languages.

Though there is a secondary system of Braille which uses shortened abbreviations. That is Grade 2 Braille, and it is learned after Grade 1.

This is Molly Burke’s video on Braille, which includes the history of Braille, how she personally learned it in school, and showing what a Braille Typewriter is and how it is used. 

I highly recommend it because Braille is something I only know from research and theory, not from personal experience.

Children who don’t learn Braille are statistically less likely to receive higher education and more likely to live below the poverty line.

Though blind adults are at a huge disadvantage in the work force with 80% of blind adults being unemployed but not by choice. Even though they have the same qualifications as other applicants, employers will almost always choose a sighted applicant over them, even if the sighted applicant is less qualified.

As adults, people who were born blind are just as affected by their upbringing, education, and family life as sighted adults are. The first eighteen years of their life shaped who they are as a person, so like any other character, you must consider what your character’s childhood must have been like for them to become the person they are now.

Once they reach adulthood, there isn’t much difference between people who were born blind or became blind early in life, compared to people who went blind as adults. But there are a few:

- Adults who were blind or became blind during their education are more likely to learn Braille than adults who went blind later in life.

-They are more likely to have O&M training. Though, only 10% of the blind community has a cane or guide dog, while the rest rely on remaining vision and sighted guides.

-O&M abilities (beyond mobility guides, there’s also learning how to use your remaining vision, your hearing and touch, and other senses to navigate without a cane/guide dog) are generally much better the longer you’ve been blind.

-Adults who have been living with blindness all their lives are more likely to be comfortable with their disability than newly blind adults, but that is not necessarily a rule. There is more confidence in living x-many years blind and knowing how to live your regular life without new major adjustments. 

-The fewer memories a person has of vision, the fewer visual things they are likely to miss. You can’t miss something you’ve never experienced or don’t remember. Doesn’t mean someone won’t wish they knew what stars and fireworks and the ocean looks like, but it won’t be as big a focus as it is for someone who went blind recently.

-People dream with whatever experiences they are living with now, meaning blind people dream with whatever their current vision is. Someone who has never seen or no longer retains any memories of sight will not have dreams with visuals.

(Note, memories of sight are something that fades with time, no matter when you went blind in life. After about 7 years of not seeing a particular image, you’re likely to have forgotten what that thing actually looked like, including color and other general vision things)

That is what I have for you. I’m going to link this to my masterpost so that it’s easily accessible for everyone and if you want to come back to it, you will be able to easily find it.

[gemsofgreece]

Hello, may I request some comedy/light drama etc. recs from the golden age of Greek TV?

Okay, then *cracks knuckles*

(For anyone who didn’t read the first answered ask, the “golden age” of Greek TV is 1990 - 2010)

I don’t know if you are the Anon who had asked the 2010 onward shows because they didn’t mind the subtitles. If you definitely need subtitles, I am afraid there are only two shows you can watch right now:

Είσαι το Ταίρι Μου (You’re My Soulmate)

Romantic comedy / light drama (2001 - 2002). Vicky and Stella are two very different friends who are Greek immigrants in Australia. Vicky is stunning and men go crazy for her but she has many insecurities. Stella is not conventionally attractive but she allows nothing to bring her down. They both fall for the same handsome rich Greek, Nikos. It’s no brainer who wins - Nikos is a womanizer and falls immediately for Vicky. The interesting part is what happens next - when Vicky’s insecurities make her come up with a crazy plan / prank that will unleash hell over these three, Nikos’ entire family and a couple of friends living in Athens and change their lives forever...and everyone will then get what they deserve... or what they are brave enough to claim. Overall just a hilarious and clever comedy, with great acting and memorable characters you end up loving and an ending that isn’t a cliche. Here’s the link to watch with english subtitles.

Στο Παρά Πέντε (In the Nick of Time)

Mystery / Crime Comedy / Light drama (2005 - 2007) One of the two most famous Greek comedies. Five totally different people happen to be witnesses to the murder of a politician. Before he dies, the politician asks them to find who did it and take revenge for this and other crimes they have committed.  These five unassuming people become friends and start solving the mystery together like hilariously amateur detectives. In time, they will find out that there’s something more that unites them besides their friendship...and maybe not everything happens accidentally. Here’s the link to watch with english subtitles. This one is being subtitled right now.

So bad news: only two shows with English subtitles. Good news: They are the best of the best, so no problem.

But if subtitles are not necessary, let’s proceed with the rest I love in no particular order:

10 Λεπτά Κήρυγμα (10 Minutes of Scolding)

Comedy (2000 - 2003). The life of Leonidas Alivizatos, an untamed only child with divorced parents. The story is basically the endless ways Leonidas find to escape the limitations his parents put to him and the shenanigans he does with his best friend Telis and his girlfriend Marilena that drive his family crazy. Fun fact: My generation, we all had at some point a crush on Leonidas...right?

Singles

Romantic Dramedy (2004 - 2008). The show has four seasons although it’s the first one that mostly had a lasting impression on me. The story revolves around the social, professional and romantic lives of six young single people: Maro, a sensitive hopeless romantic, Rania, an angry cynic who hates relationships, Lila, a sex crazed cheerful woman, Orestes, an average I’d say young man who has his eyes on Maro though, Arthuros, Orestes’ best friend and a socially awkward man with a dark family past and  Loukas, a divorced father who seems to be quite the catch. There’s something special about the first season, it had an atmosphere, a style that I loved. The music was great too. I still remember the episode with the Reaper nightmares and that green light. In the following seasons, half of the cast changed.  Y’all Greeks here do you remember the title song? I love it.

Δεληγιάννειο Παρθεναγωγείο (Deligiannis School for Girls)

Comedy, Drama (2007 - 2008). Summer 1939. The events of the series evolve at the last period of the Greek Regime, the Greco-Italian War and the Nazi Invasion of Greece. Mimis Metaxas in the headmaster of the School and trapped in a miserable marriage. His father-in-law invites Agape, his niece, to teach at the school. Mimis falls desperately in love with Agape but of course he keeps it a secret. Agape is a free-spirited woman and it is soon clear that she is a Communist (or at least leaning toward left ideals) and Mimis tries to balance his job as the Headmaster of the school, his sad marriage, his love and the historical events happening in the country with his need to keep Agape protected at all costs and under full secrecy.

Κωνσταντίνου και Ελένης (Constantine and Helen’s)

Comedy (1998 - 2000). Okay, this is officially the best Greek comedy to date. After it ended in 2000, it has been on TV repeatedly and continuously to this day. For twenty years non-stop. It still  has bigger viewership than new current shows. An old aristocratic childless man writes two wills right before his death in which he gives his big residence. The one will is for Constantine, his aloof and conservative nephew who is a professor of Byzantine History in the University. The other will is for Helen, the only daughter of his beloved poor gardener who is a potty mouthed waitress. Constantine and Helen arrive at the house the same day and they are both determined to inherit the house and they can’t wait until the court date. The story revolves around everything they do to get rid of each other and their friends who are just as crazy as they are. There’s an interesting story about this show: they had done some tests and pilots and they were convinced that nobody was going to watch their show so the show became low budget and the actors were free to go batshit crazy. This ended up creating this hilarious masterpiece that is being rewatched by million Greeks to this day.

Οι Μεν και οι Δε (Them and the others)

Comedy (1993 - 1996). Dionysis Dagas, a famous lawyer who defends criminals lives with his wife Vana, an aristocratic lazy woman, in their apartment in Kolonaki. In the apartment right next to them Timos and Nana Stamatis come to live, unemployed and a jewelry artist respectively. Timos and Nana attempt numerous times to take money from frugal Dionysis and in general a big war starts between them as snobby Dagas are the exact opposite of the hippy Stamatis.

Σαββατογεννημένες (Born on Saturday)

Comedy (2003 - 2004). A sexist and all around horrible man named Savvas wins 7 million Euros at the lottery and as he learns it he has a car crash and loses his memory. His three ex-wives, the Greek language teacher Keti, the actress Bia and the tourist shop owner Soula, all very different and hating the guts of each other and Savvas, team up to find the lottery ticket before Savvas' memory recovers. But in order to achieve that, they have to act a lot and they have to take care of incapacitated Savvas themselves.

Το Καφέ της Χαράς (Chara's cafe)

Romantic comedy (2003 - 2006 and 2019 - now). Chara Chaska, an Athenian unmarried mother decides to start anew and takes her daughter with her to go live somewhere close to nature. They go to a village in Mountainous Arcadia, named Kolokotronitsi. What Chara doesn't know is that the village is extremely traditional and backwards and governed by the conservative and misogynist mayor Periandros Popotas. Popotas and the villagers will start a big war against the newcomer, especially when they find out she wants to open a modern lounge cafe and is not married. Chara has only few supporters there but soon she will also have the interest of her biggest enemy. The show has been revived since last year, as the continuation of what happens many years later but I haven't been watching.

Dolce Vita

Romantic comedy (1995 - 1997). Christina Markatou is the mature rich widow of a tomato factory owner and now she runs it on her own. Christina visits her daughter Dorita in Italy where she studies and upon her return to Greece she unexpectedly has a one night stand with young Antonis Kaloudis. What they both don't know is that Antonis is Dorita's fiance and travels to Greece to meet her family. After the initial shock, Antonis realises he prefers the mother but Christina tries to resist. The love though is too strong. Christina begins seeing Antonis, full of regrets and self-loathing, and tries to hide the affair from her daughter, the nosy housemaid Aspasia and the absolute terror that her mother-in-law is, Olga Markatou. Is there any chance for happiness?

Εγκλήματα (Crimes)

Black comedy (1998 - 2000). Alekos and Flora have always been in love but never got together and got married to evil Soso and kindly Achilles respectively instead. Alekos finds Flora and they start an affair. Soso finds out about the affair quickly and tries repeatedly to kill Alekos. All the crazy things that happen start from all of Soso's murderous attempts and affect the lives of the aforementioned as well as their close relatives who are as crazy as the main characters. Will Soso achieve her biggest ambition to become utterly evil and kill Alekos and whomever else stands in her way?

Σ' αγαπώ, μ' αγαπάς (I love you, you love me)

Domestic comedy (2000 - 2002). The hilariously realistic life of a couple, Dimitra and Thodoris (the actors play with their real names). The actors had such great chemistry that they were chosen as the voice actors for Greek Marlin and Dory in Finding Nemo (also with great success).

So, these are my favourites but there are many others I like or that are very popular but not my cup of tea. Any other Greek is welcome to recommend their own faves.

[canyouhearthelight]

The Miys, Ch. 105

I’ve managed to get slightly ahead on these, so: A belated thank you to @littleshydragon, @dark-chocolat-cupcake, @overusedblur, and @allegrochicken for all the love I have seen blowing up my notes recently (I’m queuing this on Aug 25, even if it won’t post until Sept 8). 

Also, to the 30 new followers who I have somehow acquired: Welcome!  Ask box is always open, and I don’t get nearly enough of them.  I love to interact with y’all, so don’t be afraid to ask me every little question you think of as you read.  Anon is on if you feel you need that.

Other than that, thanks for this chapter goes out to @baelpenrose for beta reading.  Also @quantumizedinsanity, @charlylimph-blog, @wildforestferret, @creakingcryptid, for the characters you gave me to play with in chapters like this.

Later that same ‘day’, I was forcefully reminded of Noah’s observation regarding human communication.  Things were generally calm, and an impromptu family meal-snack-thing was happening in my quarters. Antoine had been over to visit, as he seemed to be making up for lost time caused by infiltrating Jokul’s accidental cult.  Zach and Hannah were over, as well, so when dinner time rolled around, I just threw together some small po-boy sandwiches and banh mi for us to snack on while we kept visiting, rather than making a full meal.

Hey, I was allowed lazy days, too.

As it happened sometimes, conversation turned to things we either did or didn’t miss from Before.  Tonight was very firmly in the ‘do not miss’ category.

“Plagues started by dumb experiments,” Maverick pointed out, smirking.

Catching on, Conor swatted him playfully. “I said I was sorry about that! And Else is an alright person, turns out.”

Snorting, Hannah covered her face with one hand. “Tell that to Nixe.”

“Her new tail is gorgeous,” I gushed. “If I got reparations like that, I’d at least consider forgiving someone.”

“For almost killing you?”

“It was an accident,” I brushed the comment off, reminded of explaining that gesture to Noah. “Besides, there are a lot of other things I genuinely don’t miss.”

“Aunt Flo,” Hannah intoned seriously.

“Tyche and I already did that one, so it’s not admissible,” I admonished. “But spoiled food? Do not miss.”

Zach shuddered. “Hell, that’s not even from Before. I don’t miss that at all.”

Antoine lifted his coffee in a mock-toast. “To all the people we lost to antibiotics.” After a few confused looks banded around the room, I laughed and waved at him to clarify. Rolling his eyes dramatically, he sighed. “Bread mold. This is why people died in the After of antibiotic allergies: they didn’t know it was derived from bread mold.”

“Dude, that’s dark,” Zach whispered.

Clearing his throat, Conor soldiered on. “I never lived through one, but wildfires were pretty bad, yeah?”

Nodding seriously, Maverick - who had lived on the western coast of NorthAm - added “Yeah, fuck THOSE things. Australia had it worse, but still.”

Raising her hand and waving it, Hannah started making eager noises to ask for her turn.  “Absolutely idiotic job requirements, am I right?” Nods abounded, and she took the opportunity to vent the spleen I hadn’t even guessed her to possess. “The number of jobs I didn’t get because I didn’t have a degree were absurd. I don’t even know why they even required them, for some!  I’m sure most of you had that happen.”

I kept my silence, but Conor was right behind her. “A Master’s in Engineering, to be a foreman.  You’re babysitting a bunch of knuckleheads pounding rebar and pouring concrete!  And they’ve had a decade of learning to do it right, I would’ve just been there to make sure it was compliant. And they wanted a Master’s for that!”

Hannah took a sip of her drink and nodded eagerly. “That’s what I’m talking about! There was a job I qualified for that was basically a glorified secretary… They wanted a four-year degree and paid peanuts. Absurd.  But I was unemployed for way more of my life than I should have been, because I didn’t have that piece of paper.”

Idly, Zach stared at his drink.  Like me, he had one of said-degrees, so this was something of a conversation we couldn’t really take part in. “I wonder how many Councillors we would have if those kind of requirements were put in place here.” Arching an eyebrow, he glanced up at me and inclined his head knowingly.

“Well,” I exhaled. “It depends. If they asked for a Master’s degree of any kind, I wouldn’t be a Councillor.” A thought struck me. “Hey - “

“No, Sophia, you cannot recommend that as a way to retire from the Council,” Antoine scolded with a laugh. “You would be grandfathered in with everyone else.”

The laughter broke the serious tone that had descended, and led to everyone speculating jovially, starting with Conor. “Well, we know Grey would still be a Councillor in that case - they admitted they had a PhD when Else was still getting sorted, rather than an MD.”

“Pretty sure Eino has a Master’s, at least,” Zach pointed.

Maverick shook his head, firmly disagreeing. “Doctorate in Education. I saw it on his wall. Don’t sell that one short.”

“So that’s two.” Hannah leaned forward eagerly. “Conor, what about Huynh?”

“Masters in Engineering,” he confirmed ruefully. “But he’s no PhD.”

“Pranav,” Zach interjected. “Post grad in robotics. Even worked on some of the Padrugoi mission stuff, early on.”

A respectful murmur filled the room, accompanied by appropriately impressed nods. Maverick had to actually shake the starstruck look out of his eyes before he could speak. “So that’s three PhDs, one Master’s, and a Bachelor’s on the Council. Not bad, honestly.”

Antoine cleared his throat politely. “Grey actually has two doctorates, if I am recalling correctly.”

I shook my head firmly. “Three. Biochemistry, genetics, and molecular chemistry.”

With a low whistle, Conor shook his head. “So, we have a clear leader as far as ‘most degrees on the Council’. Would Eino or Pranav be second, though?”

An argument erupted, and when it looked like Zach was about to say something, I shook my head. I knew the same thing he was about to point out, as a by-blow of fixing some of Derek’s more… enthusiastic shenanigans,  but I wanted to see if anyone would figure it out or even question it.  A solid half-hour later, Tyche arrived and scooped up a mini-sandwich before she even registered the conversation/argument taking place.

Whirling to face me, she pointed at the rest of the room and glared at me disdainfully. “Seriously? How long has this been going on?”

“Forty five minutes?” I admitted sheepishly. “Maybe an hour if you include the ‘what we don’t miss’ portion of the conversation.  But ‘degrees on the Council’ has been at least forty five minutes.”

“And you said fuck all?”

I shrugged. “I know it’s not me who has the most or even second most.  I have the least formal education of any Councillor.”

Tyche pinched the bridge of her nose and blew out a long breath. “Okay, everyone. What do you know so far?”

Without hesitation, Maverick rattled it off. “Grey has three doctorates, Eino has one and  a Master’s, it turns out. Pranav has one doctorate and a Bachelor’s. Huynh has a Master’s, and Sophia has a Bachelor’s.”

“And the Councillor you have left out?” she interrogated wearily, while Zach and I tried to restrain our laughter.

“Xiomara?” he asked, face scrunched in confusion. “She was career military, but I don’t know if she has any degrees. Maybe a Bachelor’s?”

Tyche shook her head, glaring again when I started gasping for breath. “Wrong. And you know what? Soph knew this, so I’m going to make her tell all of you. Like she should have. From the beginning.”

“Hey!” I cried, still giggling. “I was giving them a whole other 5 minutes before I broke the news. I just wanted to see if they would even question their reasoning.”  Antoine’s eyes got wide, sending me into another giggling fit. “None of you even mentioned the idea of Xiomara having any degree,” I gasped, almost in hysterics. “Mav was in the military, so I get that he just assumed she was busy as fuck, but… et tu, everyone?”

Hannah’s head turned slowly to stare down Zach. In self defense, he held up both hands with one pointing at me. “She told me not to say anything.”

I nodded. “Yeah, I did!”

Carefully, Conor slowly asked the question that was on everyone else’s minds. “Sophie? What’s so funny?”

Tears were pouring down my face at this point - not because I thought the situation was funny, because it wasn’t. Not really.  I was hysterical because I was so caught off guard that we still brought something like this with us. “I don’t know the real reason why nobody considered Xiomara, and I’m scared to ask at this point. I’m hoping it’s because she looks tough as hell and like the kind of person who would beat up highly educated people rather than be one.” Wiping a tear from my face, I glanced at Tyche. Her jaw was tight, clearly thinking the same things I was. “But the fact that she is the only other woman on the Council, that hurts, honestly.”

I took a few deep breaths to compose myself. “The fact is, Xiomara has five degrees. Five. Along with her military career. Tyche and I have to know this, since we handle staffing.” Counting on my fingers, I started ticking them off. “Two doctorates, one in international law and one in experimental economics - as in, yes, the calorie economy was her idea. A Master’s in military history, along with two Bachelor’s degrees: one in experimental chemistry and one in nuclear physics.” Shaking my head, I glanced at the shocked and guilty expressions in the room. “It isn’t three PhDs, but damn, y’all. The woman has five degrees!”

“How did she do that, and a military career, so young?” Maverick asked, his tone nothing but awed.

Antoine looked confused at the question. “My friend, how old do you think Xiomara is?”

He shrugged. “Sophie’s age? So, thirtyish?”

Conor poked him. “Mav. You know how old Sophie is.”

Maverick rolled his eyes. “Fine. So maybe forty? The whole healing stuff messes with me, I’ll be honest.”

Smiling, I cut him some slack. “Xiomara is just over ten years older than me,” I clarified.

Hannah’s eyes widened, and Zach looked like he had been punched in the gut. “So hot-scary-lady is fifty?” After Tyche and I nodded, he shook his head. “That’s still super-impressive for fifty. For seventy, even!” Zach shook his head. “Grey, I could understand. They seem like the type to just live for education, you know? But, Xio? I’ve known for a year and I still get dizzy thinking about it.”

“It does explain why she’s so intimidating,” Conor pointed out. When I opened my mouth to scold him, he held up one hand. “No! No. Doctorates have to be argued and defended, right? Plus one of those is in law. And she balanced a military career on top of all that. If I accomplished all that, people would look at me with respect and expect me to be a direct, take-no-prisoners kind of person.” He glanced at Antoine, who winced and nodded in confirmation. 

“She isn’t though,” I complained. “She’s a leader.”

“Definitely not ruthless, but she is intimidating to the general population,” Hannah pointed out gently. “That’s part of what Jokul was talking about, right? The Ark, as a whole, doesn’t get to see her get excited over her favorite foods, or pictures of baby pandas, or…. Cherries? Is it cherries she’s crazy for?”

“Pomegranate,” I corrected, begrudgingly.

“Pomegranate,” Hannah asserted. “They don’t get to see that. They get to see ‘hot-scary-lady who lays down the law’. Not ‘Xiomara who gets googly eyed when Parvati Fletcher wears that one violet shirt’.”

“Or hates plantains,” Tyche pointed out. “Which never made sense to me, because fried plantains are basically dessert with dinner.”

I started to giggle a bit. “It makes even less sense when you’ve seen her order coffee.” Tyche groaned, but more confused looks bounded about the room. Full out laughing, I explained. “She… she puts… maybe three ounces of coffee? Not espresso, just regular coffee… with what looks like a gallon - “ I snorted so hard it hurt my nose, but couldn’t stop. “Of milk! And sugar! Oh gods, she must put a cup of sugar in her coffee, I swear!”

Hannah and Zach exchanged glances, as did Conor and Maverick. Within seconds, the entire room erupted in laughter. “That?” Conor gasped. “That is hilarious….”

“I...I always thought… she took her coffee blacker than sin….” Zach wheezed. “And baby pandas?”

Sobering suddenly, I straightened and glared at the entire room. “OI!” I shouted. “Baby pandas are fucking cute, and if you don’t think so, you aren’t human, and I will ask Noah to do genetic testing to prove that.”

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[palmett-hoes]

Looking through your answers is giving me so much serotonin and validation. THANK YOU. If you dont mind me asking, do you think if Andrew hadn't chosen exy as a career path, him and Kevin would have drifted apart? I assumed they would because I think Kevin struggles to have friends outside of exy? Nora said in the EC that Kevin makes friends with ppl at a dog park (with thea) when hes much older and that it's a big step in recovery? Implying that Kevin doesnt rlly make friends outside of exy

oh nice love that! we're all chasing that sweet, sweet serotonin

---

i actually think that andrew and kevin are quite closely bonded. in fact i honestly think it would have been better for kevin if andrew had quit exy after college and gone on to do his own thing, because it would have FORCED kevin to have a friend outside of exy

and neil and kevin obviously watch each other games and then call each other to break the game down. and neil always makes sure to always watch kevin’s games with andrew around bc he knows that andrew secretly cares, and leaves the call on speaker so andrew can hear kevin’s voice but he doesn’t really say much besides occasionally chiming in to complain about all the exy so

neil being there means that andrew's life would never COMPLETELY separate from exy. he and kevin would always be at most just one degree of separation away from each other even if they never make an effort to speak to each other ever again

kevin would be horrified and possibly somewhat betrayed if andrew chose not to go pro. he would say that andrew was wasting his talents and making the wrong choice, but i also don't think that he would ever abandon andrew completely

so say andrew decides not to go pro

the first year he’d probably live in the house in Columbia so he can stay close to neil, works at eden’s bc he has the connections. kevin would probably be calling him CONSTANTLY to try and guilt/threaten/beg/yell andrew into going pro and even though it’s super annoying (andrew mostly puts the phone down and watches tv during the ranting) kevin will eventually tire himself out and start berating andrew’s future plans like “well what are you planning to do now?” which in kevin kinda translates to “how are you?” so andrew tells him a little bit about the club and the stupid drunk customers and anyone he’s gotten to punch in the last week and how roland and all the other employees kevin sorta got to know over the years are

and they,, kinda just continue like that. once neil goes pro he and andrew move to neil’s new city and rent an apartment together. andrew spends the first year or so unemployed doing whatever he wants bc he has a rich pro athlete bf to pay the bills. and kevin keeps calling to call andrew lazy, and wasting his life not doing anything, so to prove him wrong andrew tells him about the places he goes around the city, the things he’s doing, the stuff he’s trying for the first time, the things he’s buying, the food places where he’s eating, the places he takes neil whenever he’s free

eventually kevin starts to realize that even though he’s been with his pro team for 3 years at that point he doesn’t know shit about his city. so maybe the next time kevin finishes all the exy matches on his dvr instead of starting them all over again or turning on the exy news channel he... goes out for the night, checks out whatever his city’s most accessible tourist landmark is, eats out at a restaurant

then the next time he calls to insult andrew’s life choices, after andrew says “oh i’m wasting my life? just yesterday i won $30 from drinking the most hot sauce in a bar bet” and kevin says “.... i.... tried this indian restaurant downtown last week” and andrew knows kevin never eats anything except skinless chicken breasts and fresh but boiled vegetables. “all those spices didn’t upset your sensitive tummy, day?” but kevin feels good - great, actually - telling andrew about it

not to drag this on any longer but kevin is just too obnoxious and pushy to ever let andrew go completely, and andrew hates exy way too fucking much to cave a single inch to all kevin’s complaining. eventually, years in the future, they even have full conversations about their respective lives without ever mentioning exy once

sure they drift apart somewhat, but drift apart in the way that people do when they grow up and go from seeing each other every day to living in separate cities

[big-urchin-energy]

About me tag

got tagged by @siarven,, thank you very much this has taken literal hours,, if i’ve been slow replying for a while, this is why skdfhskdjdkjfh

Name/Nickname: maisie

Gender: approximately genderfluid, with a side of ‘no’, ‘yes’, and ‘idk man i just work here’

Star sign: taurus

Height: 158 cm

Time: 10:15pm 1:55am

Birthday: 21 May

Favorite band/group: this is so hard! there are lots and they’re all very predictable! they might be giants and the fratellis have been long-time favourites of mine (and then of course there’s mother mother, the mechanisms, tally hall, etc. you get the idea, and thank god you didn’t ask for solo artists)

Song stuck in your head: dirty imbecile by the happy fits

Last movie: i genuinely do not remember. i watched jojo rabbit in the summer? but i think there’s probably been some more since then

Last show: wandavision

When did I create this blog: late 2013 i think

What do I post about? mostly tma, but usually just whatever takes my fancy. politics as well, or anything else i’m into

Other blogs: @aromichaelshelley (where i put the vast majority of my aro, ace and gender stuff but also posts that are specifically about michael shelley, the love of my life. might start putting fic updates on there as well idk)

Do I get asks: not very often, it’s usually just the chain ones which i’m too lazy to do half the time

Why I chose my url: my friend told me a couple of years ago that i had big street urchin energy which is true

Average hours of sleep: i am currently unemployed and un-studented so i go to sleep whenever and wake up between 8 and 11

Lucky number: i’m not sure if i have one but i like 4 and 0

Instrument: flute but i hardly play anymore,, i really want to but it’s been so long i sound dreadful

What am I wearing: cool skull tshirt over long-sleeved rainbow top, and pyjama pants

Dream job: i think i’d like to be an editor, although i would also love to be unemployed forever, i don’t dream of working fuck capitalism

Dream trip: i’ve never been super into traveling, but if i could afford it i’d love to visit new zealand. there and scotland,, i wanna go all over scotland. i was supposed to go last summer on a scout camp, that would’ve been fun

Favorite food: i feel like it’s kinda a weird one but ever since i was little my mum made pizza but instead of a tomato base it’s spinach and pesto? and it’s soooooooo good, just chopped spinach, pesto and mozzarella on pizza? god tier meal

Nationality: british

Favorite song: okay here we go, we’re getting one of each,,,, For No One is one of my favourite beatles songs and sadly i’m a huge beatles stan (revolver is maybe my favourite album of theirs), i’m not sure i can pick just one tmbg song but for sheer Makes-Me-Smile vibes, We Want a Rock bc i’m weak for audible smiles in songs, Blood and Whiskey by the mechs, because of course it is, i’m only human,, and i can’t for the life of me think of any more that wouldn’t lead me to just. picking 30 songs

Last book I read: Thirteen Storeys by jonny sims (i enjoyed the making fun of rich people)

Top three fictional worlds: i have suddenly forgotten every single piece of media i have ever seen or read oh no,, but i love the Inkworld in Inkheart by Cornelia Funke, the Diskworld comes to mind too, and, because i refuse to say harry potter, i’m gonna say Yonderland from the series Yonderland, because that always seemed like a pretty cool place to be and i feel like i cant just say ‘the world from this fic i read one time’

tagging @chikacupcake and like. whoever else wants to do it but no pressure, you don’t have to, but if you follow me then feel free, it’s fun :))

[bobbiamorse]

ao3 fanfic stats

I was tagged by @loved-the-stars-too-fondly! The last time I did it was July 2020, so it’s been about five months. :)

I joined the AOS fandom in April of 2018, and since then have written 202 works (827k words). Early 2020 I was participating in Rarepair Bingo, which led to me trying out some fun new ships I don’t think I would’ve tried otherwise. I was going to count how many unique ships I’d written in 2020, but then I got lazy 😂 

I wrote half of my total word count on Ao3 (415k/827k words) and almost half of my total works (90/202). There were a lot of reasons for this productivity, but most of it was that I spent half of this year not in school and unemployed (thanks, coronavirus). I’m really proud that I was able to do anything at all in this hell year though, even if it was “just” fic.

Here’s my stats!

What are your five most popular works of all time? (starting with the most kudos)

6/17/55 (594)

i’m just saying there might be a life here (327)

needed (308)

in which sousa learns of google, pregnancy tests, and mcdonald’s (249)

the daylight seems to want you just as much as i want you (193)

What are your five least popular works? (starting with the least kudos)

blue ain’t your color (8) (Kasius/Sinara)

scream (8) (Bobbi/Trip)

like a wolf in the cold (howling for your love) (8) (May/Bobbi/Hunter)

here i am with arms unfolding (9) (Fitz/Hunter/Bobbi/Jemma)

seven minutes in heaven (9) (Mack/Hunter)

Are you surprised about any of these lists? Why?

Definitely not surprised by the top five list. It’s the same top five list I had in July, just with a slightly different order (the daylight seems to want you was number four in the original list) and different kudos numbers as time has gone on and more people have stumbled onto the fics.

Also not all that surprised by the bottom five (though I was chuffed they’re all different ships, lol). They’re all rarepairs of varying ilks and I didn’t write any of them expecting the fics to get any interaction, so what they did get was nice. :)

Optional, if you want to calculate it (remember that ao3 will count all the words in a multichap towards the year it is completed, regardless of how much was actually posted that year): How many words did you publish in 2020?

According to Ao3, 415,640. Subtract ~30k I didn’t write for collabs and ~10k for already-posted chapters and that leaves me with ~375k.

What’s a favorite fic you published this year?

You can check out my creator tag post or my best of 2020 post for those answers. ;)

How do you feel like you’ve improved as a writer this year?

Around June I had a crisis about how I could only write a few characters consistently well, and I think I definitely improved on that in the last few months! I’ve definitely improved on writing Mack and Sousa became a character I think I can write confidently as well. There’s still some room for improvement but that was a good start!

What is something new you did writing-wise in the past year? (new fandom, pairing, setting, genre, collab, etc)

Writing a murder mystery was definitely a new genre for me, and like I mentioned above, there were some new ships I tried! I also participated in a Big Bang for the first time and finished a WIP that was sitting in my drafts for a while.

What is something writing-related you would like to try in the future? (check back at the end of the year and see if you did it!)

I have two main writing goals for 2021. The first is to get better at writing platonic relationships as the focus of a work (hence, Genuary). The second is to write a new ship every month for the entire year, so I write twelve new ships by the time the year is over. I might post this list somewhere if people are interested in seeing which ships I’m hoping to do and when. :)

Today’s date, so you can see how your results might change if you do this again in a year.

January 1, 2021

Tag some writers to do this next!

@springmagpies, @libbyweasley, @florchis, and anyone else who sees this and wants to do it!

[theunemployedrogue]

idk just feeling kinda sad and lonely... pretty long rambling personal post beneath the read more...

It's a combination of things getting to me... firstly, there's the fact I feel like this site is finally starting to *really* die. I've noticed a drastic drop in activity on my dash in the past month or so to the point it feels like there's never more than 50 or so new posts at a time, & there's hardly any new notes on the activity page at a given time either.

Tumblr may be a hellsite but it's literally my only "social media" (aside from like....LinkedIn) at the moment. There's a handful of folks on here I really enjoy interacting with, even if it's just the occasional message or comment. I feel like I'm about to lose some of my only ties to the world outside my immediate circle if people jump ship completely :/

idk where people are even migrating to. Twitter? Insta? Tiktok? None of those sites really appeal to me at all... Part of me wonders if people (especially ppl my age) are kinda just disconnecting from internet fandom communities altogether and focusing more on IRL stuff. Honestly I'd probably benefit from logging tf off myself lol...

But 'just logging off and getting a damn life' is an especially daunting prospect right now bc my IRL situation isn't exactly ideal at the moment. For one thing, we're still in the middle of a pandemic. Secondly, I've been unemployed for about 3 months now. That has it's obvious downsides, although I will say it's not all bad. I had enough savings set aside that I decided to take a breather instead of immediately looking for another job, & my roommate and grandma have been very supportive of me and helped with some of my expenses during this time.

So like, I don't regret my decision to take time off. I mean yeah I'm a little anxious, and I know most of my family thinks I'm a lazy piece of shit, but overall the downtime has been a positive thing. I've finally been able to quit drinking and improve my eating habits, which has allowed me to better manage some of my chronic health concerns. I've also started picking up some online gigs so I don't totally deplete my savings, & to help me get back in the groove of working.

Unemployment is isolating af tho. I was already incredibly isolated when I was WFH at my last company, but losing that job meant I also lost a decent chunk of contacts (even if they were just work acquaintances). I'm lucky I have a roommate and that my grandma lives nearby, otherwise I'd have no access to IRL human interaction on a regular basis.

But I still feel lowkey devastated that I've fallen out of touch with the few other friends I have. I know they're busy with work and their own lives, and until recently I was too overwhelmed with depression to really engage anyone, but now that I'm starting to feel better it's hit me just how much I miss them.

Unfortunately it just feels harder than ever to reach out and connect with anybody nowadays, even those I consider close. It's so easy to lose track of the days slipping by and accidently wind up neglecting people. Whenever I do reach out I never have much to say, so I end up feeling like I'm just wasting people's time :(

Idk what to do to make things better. Part of me feels like I've let some relationships (mainly with my family) get damaged beyond repair at this point. It seems selfish and pointless to try and mend things with certain people whom I've likely offended or hurt by withdrawing from them for so long. Then I feel like there are other folks who have simply outgrown me, and the best thing I could do for them is to quietly step aside and let them move on.

It's just always been so hard for me to make and keep friends. I know it's pretty much entirely my own fault, but it still hurts having to reap what I sowed. I suppose it'd be nice to try and meet some new folks who share my current interests, but I'm always too scared and awkward to put myself out there like I should. I honestly don't know how much I can change about myself at this point in my life, or if I'll ever be able to conquer my shyness.

I feel immature and whiny even making this post, but I just needed to get this stuff off my chest. Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this far. Take care.