#but also more literally. you become inhuman at that point

[graham--folger]

ohhhhh i have got to talk about wolfwood's regeneration abilities as a bastardized depiction of resurrection. like what if resurrection wasn't the joyful, miraculous thing we see so centrally in christianity. what if it was more of a curse. what if it didn't make you an angel or the son of god. what if instead it made you into a monster

[atombombkaytee]

I’ve watched the entire series again today in a hungover state and I CAN’T DEAL with all the parallels.

I mean, when Lucy finds out about her Dad’s true actions and origins - her whole world falls apart. She saw the vaults as safety - she looked up to her Dad more than anyone else in the world. She learns that he’s lied about who he is as a man and as her father, but also she must realise that the vault’s are hiding their own dirty secrets (especially after her experience at vault 4) and that her Dad is a part of that too. She even says to Max, after leaving vault 4, that if she destroyed a whole community to save him, he would be heartbroken: when that’s exactly what he did on an even grander and more terrible scale. Lucy’s life wasn’t even in direct danger to warrant that reaction - he’s just an insecure selfish arsehole.

At the very same time we see the flashback scene of Coop hearing Barb suggest that they drop the bombs on America. This woman that he loves and trusts and has made a family with - who he said he fell in love with because she always tries to do the right thing. Their reactions at the point of realisation - shock, inability to speak, almost dissociation - are both extremely similar. Him having gone through that betrayal before (and likely plenty of times since) is EXACTLY why he talks to Lucy how he does. He’s preparing her for the eventual heartbreak - because he has experience which states that nothing could ever be as perfect as she claims her life is. When he’s making ass jerky from Roger, he even tells her: there’s what people say they do and then there’s what they really do.

When you look at all of that, really, in the scheme of things, Coop - the man that she’s seen as this inhuman, cruel, murderous monster - he’s the good guy. He too thought his wife’s business with vault tec was abhorrent. Yes, he’s been warped and twisted by the wasteland and by his own trauma - but he does see this brightness in Lucy. He thought she was just naive and full of bullshit (especially being a vault dweller. Something which I’m sure triggered him considering his past with vault tec and the links to his wife) but when she proved herself by giving him the vials instead of letting him die, he’s probably amazed that there’s someone left in the world who isn’t just a liar and a terrible person. He’s so used to betrayal and violence by this point. She’s a good person - a trait that he literally said he was in love with his wife because of. She softens him.

But she also proves herself in another way - by shooting her feralled mother - showing that she’s also grown and learnt that not everything is black and white. It’s not just “good and bad” in this world. And although Coop has questionable morals, he’s honest, like her. He tells it how it is. Plus, after her Dad’s huge life changing betrayal and her time in the wasteland, she understands a little more why Coop has done all the things that she’s seen him do - I mean he did meet her pretty much day one out of the vault initially - hence why she goes with him. He has hardened her up to protect her in the wasteland.

Wilzig even says “will you still want the same things when you’re a different animal altogether.”

My god. It’s just genius. Absolutely genius.

“You comin’?”

Edit: Can we also talk about how Coop is basically the inspiration for the vault boy - who Lucy basically looks to (physically a few times throughout the series) for inspiration to do the right thing. AND the fact that her Dad was obviously a bit obsessed with Coop and probably still was when Lucy was born, seeing as he’d been in a pod and had only just woken up, retaining recent memories. So Lucy likely watched all of his films and her Dad maybe even saw him as a bit of a role model (or at least his in-film characters). AND the obvious exchange of index fingers. Yup. Honestly if this relationship doesn’t become cannon, I will start dropping bombs too.

ANOTHER EDIT: Sorry one last thing but, I just want to add: nothing that post-war Coop does is personal. It’s either: to get a job done, survival, because he’s been triggered by something (understandable after what’s he been through) or, in Lucy’s case, to teach a (admittedly often harsh) lesson. He doesn’t just mindlessly kill - or particularly enjoy killing - he just has no issue with it, it’s all just means to an end. He even still remembers to pay for his tomatoes in Filly ffs haha… I imagine he’s extremely numb and devoid of all feeling - except for when it comes to his wife and little girl. That’s the only time we see more visceral reactions in either actions or dialogue from him. He’s such an intricate character and Walton did an amazing job of portraying him.

[feroluce]

So I spoke somewhat about my thoughts on Emanator Sampo here, but I never really thought of it from a design point of view or what kind of powers he would have until just recently. But I actually kind of love leaning into it from a "stage hand" perspective?

Because like. Aha's body in THEIR official art is completely black, giving attention to all the fun brightly colored things around THEM. And that's so fitting for Sampo! He usually prefers to be a side character. He likes to act from the shadows. His is a much more subtle hand.

So I wonder if as an Emanator, a lot of his clothes are actually very dark? Not necessarily plain, still extravagant and needlessly detailed in things like cut and quality with lots of different fabrics and textures and ornamentation, but dark. Or maybe even his skin itself becomes blackened further down his body; his hands in particular are dark, as a sort of sleight of hand reference.

The motif of a lot of straps wrapped around him like in his canon design is still present, but they're all loose and flowing off of him like paper streamers now instead of restraining him or holding him together. He is no longer contained! Or maybe they're still a bit more rigid/heavy, but just draped more like red stage curtains!

And this is like. Fully self-indulgent, but I love inhuman designs, and there's nothing in canon to say I can't do this, so screw it! Go for broke!! Maybe it's not visible to normal people, but Sampo having a second set of arms would be really cool, as further sleight of hand reference. One set is almost normal looking, but his hands are a bright, attention-drawing white, and the other is dark, set almost in the shadows of the first arms, to act less noticeably.

He also has something of a broken heart design to him in canon (the front of his black shirt with its jagged shape down the middle; his coat looks like a full heart shape in the back), and I actually like him keeping that element as an Emanator, because I think it suits him. Sampo says his taste in aesthetics and views on Elation involve human dignity,

and the story he helps create in Belobog involves the long and winding road of resistance and survival and eventual triumph in the face of some very adverse, oppressing odds. (I'm pretty sure I heard he once called Wildfire "artless" though, plus the man acts like he thinks Shame is some kind of dessert, so like ndkdjzjskkd) But the point being!!

I think Sampo is someone who can appreciate heartbreak and angst and tragedy in a story, because it makes the victory at the end all the sweeter. And this would be another thing he shares with Aha, because I think THEY did bless the Mourning Actors partly just to be a little shit, but also because Aha does recognize tragedy as part of THEIR Path, too, and you can see it in some of the game. So a broken heart motif can still suit him, and I like him having elements of both comedy and tragedy. Like his clothing having a happy sun/sad moon (like the moon in Aha's art) or him having both of the traditional comedy/tragedy masks in his design.

And as Emanator, Sampo can maybe play with the stage settings environment, too. Like lights sometimes behave strangely around him, appearing blindingly bright to someone or dramatically dark. Sampo wills it and suddenly there seems to be a metaphorical spotlight right where he wants everyone to look. And when he doesn't want to be noticed, his face seems to be cast in shadow, he seemingly just fades into the background, no one notices or recognizes him and he sneaks away easily. He can create smoke or fog literally out of thin air without his bombs now, too, the air will just suddenly thicken until his stage is obscured, and Sampo can set the scene as he pleases or disappear without a trace.

And in line with being a stage hand, Sampo can direct attention like no other. He was already extremely good at this as a normal mortal, and becoming an Emanator only took it up to 11, past human limits. Sampo points, and all present feel compelled to follow his fingertip. He looks away, and they all follow his gaze. He can even affect the mood of an audience; he can influence everyone to be calm and placid or he can whip them into a feverish frenzy. Sometimes a crowd will start to become unsettled, agitation stirring until it boils over, until it incites a full on violent mob.

And in the middle of all that chaos will stand one perfectly calm figure, face cast in shadow, until they quietly slip away out of sight.

[apollos-olives]

hey, so, someone linked me this article, to "prove" to me that i should "condemn hamas". as a non-palestinian i was told there is no way i can refute this, since it comes from a gazan. i was wondering if, as a journalist and a palestinian, you would mind writing a rebuttal that i could show to people? if you have the time and energy.

https://www.newsweek.com/hamass-western-apologists-have-become-hamas-enthusiasts-gazan-im-horrified-opinion-1849228

okay sure let's go through this together

first thing i urge you is to be weary about propaganda. this person may be getting paid, blackmailed, or just genuinely might be brainwashed, in order to write this.

second is that this article might genuinely be this persons opinion 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️ and if it is, i urge you to come and analyze it with me in order to point out it's faults

third, let me say that NO ONE is forced to support hamas as an entirety. but as this person's article states, he is against hamas even as a freedom fighter group, so i'm gonna walk you through some of his bullshit okay :)

one thing i noticed is that there is a LOT of propaganda that was debunked in the past that is still being used in this article

the actual number of "civilians" killed was 900, most of which were actually killed by the iof as they shot at their own "civilians" and soliders. so the author of this article may not be as educated as he might make you think he is.

he's saying that the attack on oct 7 wasn't a "legitimate armed resistance to occupation" but it literally was. there are like a billion un resolutions that state that armed resistance against an occupier is allowed. hamas has every right to fight back against israel. and what? you think armed resistance isn't going to get messy??? of course it will. it is already messy. people are going to die no matter what. that is how you fight against your oppressor. people will die. that's the whole "armed resistance" part. this person is utterly ignorant if he thinks that we can free palestine by a few peaceful protests (which i will come back to soon!)

and yeah what is wrong with "contextualizing" the attack by telling people that gazans are living in a concentration camp?? because they are. and they have every right to fight back. hamas wasn't the only one who was resisting that day, and more than one palestinian resistance group were there as well. condemning only hamas for this shit is idiotic and honestly grouping ALL palestinians, even ones who were not part of hamas, as hamas is... well do i gotta say it? racist.

this author is using a lot of words like "horrific nature" ...... palestinians who fight against their oppressors have a "horrific nature" ???? doesn't that sound... racist to you? and what "numbers" are involved ???? 900 "civilians" that were killed by their own army???? yeah. what massive numbers that hamas killed ooohhhhhh 😰😰

bruhhh this shit sounds like the whole "hamas is their new fandom" bullshit 💀💀💀 also where is he seeing this stuff???? how are bulldozers, paragliders, and motorcycles showing support to hamas?????? maybe they're just people who support palestine in general and mean to use them as symbols of resistance. mocking the "underprivileged fight back" hmmmm that sure sounds so inclusive and supportive of you mister palestinian author!!

this guy brings up international law when LITERALLY THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT. BY INTERNATIONAL LAW HAMAS AND OTHER PALESTINIANS ARE ALLOWED TO FIGHT BACK AGAINST THEIR OPPRESSORS. BY "ALL MEANS NECESSARY" - ughhh this is exhausting. and the fact that they call hamas enthusiasts (💀) "inhumane" ... wowwww what happened to the whole "stop dehumanizing poc and the oppressed" ???? this guy is a fucking weirdo.

and again with the "civilians" dude seriously???? israeli civilians are illegal settlers. there are no innocent israelis except for the children, and any harm that may come to the children should put the parents to be held accountable for bringing/settling their child into a land that isn't theirs anyway.

why would you equate being jewish with israel?? yeah a lot of israelis are jewish but pro-palestine jews have repeatedly told us that we should not and must not equate judaism and israel together, and that doing that is antisemitic because it's equating judaism as a supporter of genocide.

and why are you, as a palestinian, calling what's happening in palestine a "conflict" ??? even after years and years of palestinians begging for people to stop seeing it and calling it a conflict and name it for what it is, systematic ethnic cleansing and genocide ?? this guy's wording is ridiculous and so full of that "both sides" liberalism shit it's so exhausting.

wow we love the blatant propaganda. you could tell that the hostages were comfortable enough to wave or handshake the members who released them. they were smiling, no one was forcing them to do that. no one was threatening them harm. many family members have spoken out and have told the media that hamas has treated the hostages well, even if the conditions weren't very glorious.

and AGAIN with the whole "women and children" as if men weren't victims too. you are trying to push for the safety of israelis but disregard the men ???? hm

wow calling palestinians terrorists that's totally not racist at all!!!!

ohhh my god how many times do we have to say that peaceful protests DO NOT WORK !!! no one is listening to us. we've TRIED peacefully protesting. gazans tried peacefully protesting a few years back and HUNDREDS got killed and THOUSANDS got injured!!!! peaceful protesting isn't going to work alone. we need action!! we need to start fighting back!!! we need to make a difference!! palestinians have been begging for people to do this for years now!!!

what "slogans" ????? "from the river to the sea" ???? is that a dangerous slogan, mister palestinian author ?????? don't make me laugh.

and there is a FINE line between anti zionism and antisemitism. yes a lot of zionists are jews but also a lot of christian zionists are antisemites as well. we are allowed to call out and fight anti zionism without being antisemitic. but i guess you would know SO much about that huh, mister palestinian author.

wow what a totally normal thing to say!!! linking palestinians to their constant suffering under the occupation and linking them to be forever tied to their oppressors. "millions of jews will forever be part of the land" YES !!! PALESTINIAN JEWS !!! WHO WERE FOREVER PART OF THE LAND !!!!

ok that's all for the screenshots but i DO want to mention that not once did this guy say ANYTHING about how hamas was bad for gaza. he did not say anything or show any proof about gazans suffering under hamas' rule, and only talked about the "poor israelis" ☹️☹️☹️ who were huwt becawse they wewe illegal settlews on a land that's not theiw's :((((((

this guy was probably paid or blackmailed or something. or just brainwashed.

many palestinians ARE anti hamas as a whole. but we DO support their fight for our freedom.

i hope this helps. keep these arguments in mind next time you're reading an article.

[nydescynt]

Thematic Analysis of Hades II: Why You Can Never Go Home

(At some point I might make a video on this, but for now sharing my thoughts via textpost. Spoilers ahead!)

So the text of the story of Hades and Hades 2 are Zagreus breaking out of the House, and Melinoë breaking in.

But the wild thing (and the reason Hades 2 is much more interesting to me) is that both games actually have almost inverted themes from that text. Zagreus is intent on uniting a household; Melinoë is discovering the home she's fought to return to is rotten to the core.

Zagreus, despite his entire textual goal being to leave his home and family, is narratively & thematically working to bring the family and household together. His mother comes back and is reunited not just with him but her husband, mother, and entire extended family. Achilles and Patrocles, Orpheus and Eurydice, Asterion and Theseus: Hades is a story of people metaphorically coming home and making peace with where they are (Sisyphus, Thanatos, Orpheus). Everyone basically gets a happy ending, credits roll, problems all resolved or en route to be solved. Everyone is home.

(Important to note: we never see a human in the first game. We see shades, and gods, and monsters, and the closest you get to a mortal living thing is the satyrs. This is a story concerned with the realm of the gods.)

In contrast, Melinoë has no home - besides being estranged from her childhood home, she literally lives in a tent. In case the theme was too subtle, presumably.

Now, she has been fighting her entire life to become powerful enough to return home and reclaim her family - that seems Zagreus-adjacent on its face. However, there isn't a home to return to- Hades is in shackles, the rest of her family trapped in time. At this point in Early Access, on both a metatextual & diegetic level she quite literally can neither make it to Mt Olympus or into Zagreus' room - she cannot go home, she cannot meet her family.

Consider the others: Odysseus' presence seems to tie into the idea of a long journey home, but this is an Odysseus who lived and died and now has other (inhuman) priorities. He loves them, but has no interest in reuniting with Penelope and Telemachus at this point. Nemesis dislikes her siblings, and is more concerned with the equal application of "justice" than whether it has any reforming effect. Narcissus and Echo eventually talk and part more amicably, but that's the best that can be said about their relationship.

Hecate refuses to be called Melinoë's mother: she will not distract from the "true" family that Melinoë has no memory of ever meeting.

Instead of Ares and Dionysus (enjoyers of chaos and least affected by the toxicity of the family in Hades 1) we have Hestia and Hephaestaus- a goddess who helped murder her father and a god constantly belittled by his own family. Their tense and frequently bitter interactions with the other Olympians are evocative of the central theme being explored: what if there isn't a home to go back to? What if your family is unforgivable? (What if you want to forgive them anyways? What if you need to?)

This theme is why Arachne is in the game, and Athena is not: likeable, first-helper-of-Zagreus Athena turned Arachne into a spider out of petty anger. How do you reconcile that?

Moros (lovely, kind Moros, who gushes at Odysseus like a fanboy) and his sisters the Fates did horrible things to mortals out of boredom. The same mortals whose bodies you can see stacked up like cordwood in Ephyra, who you repeatedly claim you are fighting to protect from Chronos. Moros can neither confirm nor deny that the current events could have been set in motion by the Fates. How do you reconcile that?

Polyphemus raises sheep. He genuinely loves and cares for them, is protective of them. He also eats them, and is confused when Melinoë implies a contradiction.

How can you love someone and be willing to kill them? For survival? For fleeting satisfaction? For vengeance?

Is Chronos' willingness to eat his children so morally heinous that it makes him worse than every cruelty the gods have wrought? Worse for who?

[demonslayedher]

Nerdy cultural details about the word "Hashira"

Some details can be hard to pick up without context or in translation. I recently went over a few details about the Hashira's names, Breaths, or symbols, but today I want to focus on the word "Hashira."

To get this out of the way, I use "Pillar" all over this blog because I thought that's what they were called. I was astounded that phrase was not translated, as it is a (somewhat rare) case of a one-to-one translation equivalent. They are the pillars that support the Demon Slayer Corp, after all. The kanji for it (柱) very literally means "pillar" in any modern day Japanese to English dictionary. But since you all know the word "Hashira," let's climb up and see where it takes us! First, the kanji itself (brought over from China and given the Japanese pronunciation "hashira," based on the existing spoken Japanese language), is composed of 木 for "tree" and 主 for "master" or "main/principal," among other semi-literal or more widely applicable possible meanings in modern kanji dictionaries. However, Prof. Owada Tetsuo, a retired university professor who published an unofficial book of his own Kimetsu no Yaiba interpretations based on Japanese demon slaying folklore, points out that 主 can also be interpreted as a still flame atop a candlestick, and that 柱 (hashira) is a tree that cannot be moved. (I'll continue to use a lot of Prof. Owada's details in this explanation, as well as details I have picked up in other research.) That makes 柱 closely associated with holy trees found in, or treated as, Shinto shrines throughout Japan. As Shinto is a nature-based belief system, trees are often something that a kami (deity) will inhabit. Keep Shinto in mind, because we're going to focus on that a lot.

Before that, let's finish up with the kanji 柱. According to the first official fanbook, there is an upper limit of nine Hashira because there are nine strokes in the 柱 kanji. (See this dictionary entry for a breakdown of those nine strokes.)

Now that the easy official tidbit is out of the way, back to the Shinto fun stuff and conjecture! We need to dive a bit more into the spoken Japanese language, from which a lot of Shinto terms derive. For starters, the Japanese language uses counter words for when you say a certain number of beings or objects. You could think of this as "a sheet of paper" or "three rolls of tape." It is an annoying part of starting out your study of the language because there are a lot to memorize based on sizes, shapes, types of animals, etc. Deities also have their own counter word: 柱 (hashira). This goes to show how the Hashira of the Demon Slayer Corp are something more than human, what with how much power they possess.

Now if we think about the pronunciation of the spoken Japanese word from long before a Chinese written character was assigned to it, the "hashi" of "hashira" is a "bridge." Clever ones among you might know that "hashi" also means "chopsticks." But even chopsticks have the same effect as a bridge! They serve as a connection, bridging the gap between you and what was another living thing, that which will become a part of you as your sustenance. "Hashira," as pillars, are likewise something that serve as a connection, in this case, a vertical one. They are that which connect us with the heavens, or in the case of the Demon Slayer Corp, they bridge the gap between the limits of human strength and the inhuman strength of demons.

As another Shinto tie, one of the connections that Prof. Owada and I both made was that there are nine pillars that support the main sanctuary in shrine architecture like that of Izumo Taisha Grand Shrine. Or rather, in the case of at least one of the historical iterations of Izumo Taisha, there were nine groups of three massive tree trunks each, resulting in a shrine over 48 meters in height (see here for photos of how big the remains of those pillars are and how exciting the archaeology is). These pillars give you a sense of awe for just how powerful pillars can be, especially when you have a spread of nine to distribute the weight. Now, there's more that Prof. Owada and I would both say about how Izumo Taisha also ties in with the "Ubuyashiki" surname or the "yakata" title by which the Hashira address him, but that's a dose of nerdery for some other time.

[super-paper]

I still don’t understand AFO. Why is he like this. This series repeatedly goes out of it’s way to humanize the villains but AFO is still just evil because he wants to be the demon lord and I don’t get it.

That would be the point, I feel-- AFO doesn't want to be understood or seen as "human." He wants to completely lose himself in character, wants other people to mindlessly play along with the story he's written for himself like good little extras, and wants everyone around him to acknowledge what a ~perfectly inhuman demon lord~ he is-- and he's bent the entire narrative of MHA around himself like a shield in order to accomplish that. Like, the idea of people breaking the same black and white narrative that he's been using to protect himself (and trap others) quite literally drives him insane:

"That murderer--" "You killer--" oooooo you're so mad that human nature is basically good, that people are endlessly capable of growth and healing, and that actual human beings can't simply be shoved into teeny black and white fictional boxes ooooo all the more evidence that he's gonna completely lose his shit when Tomura ultimately refuses to kill Izuku lmao

I wanna point out his speech bubbles in the second image, bc Hori frequently uses speech bubbles to emphasize a character's mental state-- Like.... Bro is literally coming apart at the seams with rage that Stain is trying to be anything more than a starter villain. 😭The english translation also kind of sort of makes it seem like AFO is simply referring to Stain by his moniker (Hero Killer), but the term he uses in the original text feels a little more... loaded, imho?? The kanji used for Stain's "Hero Killer" Moniker is "Goroshi" ("殺ごろし"), but here, AFO instead refers to him as a "Murderer" (殺人犯/satsujin-han). Calling Stain an out-and-out murderer instead of calling him by a villain moniker feels a lot more specific, a lot more pointed, and it also tells us a lot more about AFO’s fucked up sense of values.

Anyway, I've said this before, but AFO is a character who reads heavily as an escapist fantasy gone horrifically wrong. "Why is a world where villains are allowed to climb back up from rock bottom and heal so intolerable to AFO?" "why does the idea of people breaking free from their roles make AFO so angry?" "why is AFO literally trying to BECOME a comic book character?" are better questions to ask than "why is bro just evil for the sake of it," I feel. Like obviously, a world where the label of "villain" gets thoroughly and utterly dismantled is one where AFO loses his power over others.... but it's also a world that rips that protective layer of "fiction" away from him, exposes his own humanity, and destroys that delusion of becoming the "perfect villain king" that he's wrapped himself up in.

tfw you LARP so hard that it ends up getting your brother killed and now breaking character means you gotta Process All Of That .................................................... Unless...? :)

What I find especially interesting about AFO is that MHA's narrative actually cooperates with shielding him from the readers, to a degree-- scenes that depict rare moments of genuine emotion are overlaid with contrary, cartoonishly evil narration that's meant to distract the reader from what's actually being depicted. The bulk of the series depicts his face being hidden in shadows even though it *literally* has no reason to be, and we don't get an unobscured look until the other characters finally start rallying together to reject his story. He is literally introduced to the series through a TV screen, which MHA has been using as a shorthand for its depiction of fantasy since day one:

In my opinion, I feel the final act of "rejection" that AFO fears isn't from his brother, or his followers, or "his other self"-- what he fears is the story itself rejecting him and finally exposing him for what he is: an utterly mundane human. Like, a total freak of a guy to be sure, but still totally human. The narrative revoking its various "protections" and working against AFO to humanize him acts as the final insult to everything he claims to believe in while doubling as the last bit of confirmation that he was never gonna become a "perfect demon lord." MHA being what it is, this is something inevitable.

Where other characters in this series draw strength from their origin-- the moment that defines them as a human and individual-- AFO likely fears and rejects his own origin for this same reason.

Anyway. I would describe AFO as a wannabe-author who refuses to make public appearances or divulge details about his personal life, but ultimately reveals a little too much about himself through the "stories" and "characters" he tries to write-- so ppl still know he's a freak with issues by virtue of how fatherless his content is. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Putting together all the pieces of himself that AFO accidentally lets slip is part of what makes MHA so fun (to me, at least!).

[foreststarflaime]

Brainrotting about the nuance of the Am I a Monster dilemma in Crisis Core again (sorry if any of this is rambling I have been awake for over 20 hours on 4 hours of sleep bc my brain is stupid and refuses to let me get adequate sleep)

I find it’s somewhat easy to forget about the literal definition of the word in this context, at least for me because I want these idiots to stop self-destructing and live happy lives—but in older cultures especially (and here I’ll talk from the Ancient Greek side of things bc it’s what I’m most familiar with) the definition of monster is very literally just something that goes against the natural order of things, usually hybrids of different animals smashed together, like a chimera being a lion, goat, and snake in one body or a sphynx being a winged lion-woman. And in that sense, it’s unavoidable that they are right in calling themselves monsters.

But when the word monster gets brought up in a moral sense, in the context of what it means to be human, as we see so often these days (not saying no ancient authors ever did this or vice versa, it’s just more prevalent in more modern times from what comes to mind immediately for me), it’s not about the literal, it’s about the metaphorical, about the choices you make and how you choose to live your life. And in this sense (at least before their respective insanity arcs) they aren’t really monsters, they’re just people trying their best.

And I love how this duality plays out when each of them find out about the horrific experiments that have been done on them and the crisis starts.

Starting with Genesis—his is a character very connected to the first definition of monster, considering his love of Loveless, which seems to be an ancient epic of the cultural kind of the Iliad or the Odyssey (plus, as I’ve mentioned before, his last name in Greek literally means singer of epic poetry). So, if the Greek definition is foremost in his mind, it does make sense that he can’t shake the thought that he is a monster and have a mental breakdown as such. It makes sense that he fell first.

Then we have Angeal, also more closely tied to the first definition of monster, if we look at it in the older vs newer way—he’s a character very tied to tradition and honor, so it would make sense. Plus if you don’t buy that, then there’s the fact that he’s known Genesis all his life, so at least some of his thinking had to have worn off on him at some point. He also wouldn’t be able to shake the thought that he isn’t really entirely human, and of course he’d be bothered by it, having tied his worldview so tightly to upholding human morals and values—it makes sense he fell as hard as he did.

Now, saving Sephiroth for a bit longer, let’s look at Zack’s reaction to all of this. He definitely sees this dilemma from the point of view of the second definition of monster, as we see blatantly in the writing—see “SOLDIER doesn’t mean monster”, etc. He’s the youngest, the puppy, the idealist loyal to his friends until the end. He tries to impart this onto his friends, and although they do understand this on some level, it’s not enough to overpower the other definition of a monster in their minds, and therein lies the tragedy.

And then with Sephiroth, to exacerbate the tragedy of what he could have become even further, he’s pretty evenly tied to both definitions. He has distinctly inhuman features, which would bring the literal definition of monster to his mind, and his ‘mother’ is a 2000 year old alien. So no, he’s not entirely human, not literally anyways. But he’s also so, so human in all the ways that matter, at least before he went insane, and I think he’s aware of this too, at least enough to hold on to the desperate hope that this is true, and that having just a little bit of compassion makes the difference. But in Nibelheim, the weights keep dropping in the literally-a-monster side of the scale, and he judges himself unworthy, and the rest is history.

[the-nysh]

Hi there!! I just saw your tags on the Vash marksman appreciation post and I really REALLY gotta know your thoughts on the fight choreography bc while I did martial arts as a kid I don’t remember everything and just extremely curious!! Wanna appreciate the thoughts put behind making this boyo!!

👀👀!!! Yes, hello! (Note: I'm also about 10yrs rusty out of practice in hapkido--a Korean defensive art that combines many styles from judo/aikido/etc, so while I may not remember all the formal terms and stuff, I can still SEE the very real and very sexy close combat choreography + randori/grapples/ground work they're smoothly throwing in there!) I've briefly tag-ranted on some former gifs I've reblogged here & here but OK, I can indulge into a little more detail! :D

Let's start with this gif, which is such a nice introductory tease!

The point-blank bullet dodging is some of that sick looking 'rule of cool' inhuman spice, but oh what's this?? 👀 The other dude is dumbly holding his arm out (non-defensively, since if that guy were smart about close fighting, he'd have his other hand up at the ready too) right in Vash's personal space, ripe for the taking - to which OH YES he easily blocks with the prosthetic arm and transitions right into a throw for the takedown. Where he shoves the fool over his shoulder with a lot more power (which is hard to do, esp from a standing position without a solid grip on any lapels either; woo he just goes right in for it), rather than using the dude's own momentum against him, since the guy's literally just standing there (as a stationary weight) rather than trying to punch him in a brawl. But LOOK what else Vash does!!! His block with the prosthetic becomes a grip that both holds/pulls onto the guy's arm during the throw and disarms the guy - by tossing his gun away, in one swift movement! :O Not only that, but there!! We see the first quick tease of him reverse-griping his own heavy brick of a gun into a tonfa position to strike the guy at the back of the neck for a non-lethal stun!!! That is SO cool!!! ;o; Some galaxy-brained application of his no-killing fighting style (using both arms + his revolver in his repertoire...oh wait, that already makes up the title's literal 3 guns *gets shot*) where it looks so fresh and seamlessly smooth af. Great stuff.

Then the Livio fight, despite him being double-armed with long-range weapons, is full of close-range gold from the way Vash tackles him, straddles him, and pins him to the floor with a (forceful!) choke to the throat (like whoa excuse me hello), but ALSO from the self-aware way Vash always has his guard up to keep both of Livio's guns out of the way at all times. D: Whether parrying bullets with his prosthetic, blocking/holding the guns away with that arm too (as shown), or even using his own gun defensively as a tonfa-shield to reinforce his blocks as well.

So then we get to THIS GIF, the same sequence that drove you insane for his smooth marksmanship tracking, drives ME insane for his immediate close-quarters holywhattheflyingshit did he just DO!?!?!?! 👀👀

LOOK AT HIM!!! Honestly it's kinda hard to see everything from how fast he goes, but I love the way he zips in there to grapple Livio off-balance, and ahh!! Look at the way Vash ducks and defensively keeps both arms up (this is SO important, because once you've trained you'll notice how in so many movies/comics' 'rule of cool' martial arts moves, they'll often have a character wildly swing their arms out to the sides to counter-balance kicks and stuff, but no--that's bad/unsafe form; bc if you're in a real fight you need to keep both arms up and ready at all times if you want to protect your core/face from getting blown off! Which just as you've noted, is something that needs to be practiced! The fact Vash has kept his unblemished pretty face for 150yrs is testament to that~) Vash knows how to simultaneously use his prosthetic AND his gun as needed--cause look at that, he swiftly holds it reversed as a tonfa again to block Livio's gun swing, which is a really cool way to use a gun as a shield to protect his own flesh arm from the incoming blows.

But that's not all, because ahaaa~ Fighting defensively is not all he's got up his sleeve! The little boxing jab he throws to Livio's face with his prosthetic arm makes me giggle, because OH YEAH that's a real thing! A type of distraction strike you pull - the same as stomping on a foot or kicking someone in the balls, to disorient your opponent off-guard first before you serve your real (offensive) move. Which in Vash's case leads up to a....O___O;;!?!? TF is THAT.

Here's where they're teasing in more of that inhuman spice again, because Vash holds Livio's guns out of the way (as usual) and revs up for a....fucking one-punch to the solar plexus at point-blank?!? D8 Whatwhatwhatwhat!!! Because that wasn't his gun's doing at all; he was still holding it defensively in that arm as a tonfa! That was his real arm's natural brute strength bitch!!! aaaahaha!!! wow I love it. The guy modestly says he's not much of a fighter but that's not trueeee at all, is it~ ;) I can SEE real proof of that otherwise and I can't wait for what else studio orange will show us to blow our minds.

*Ahem* So anyway did I ever mention how much I like the way he reverses the grip on his gun to use as a tonfa? (both defensively as a shield to protect himself and offensively to stun/strike his opponents with) For thematically how much it seamlessly works for his fighting style to never kill, for how the improvised (but practiced!) close-range practicality and versatility of it looks crazy awesome, and because damn, that shit's hot.

[bl0rbohandbag]

– some vampire the masquerade x changeling the lost concepts that will not leave me alone.

"but vtm and ctl are from different settings–" shhhhhh :)

— part 2.

before i begin: i have been dabbling in vampire the masquerade and changeling the lost content for a while, i am not a fan of changeling the dreaming and vampire the requiem is unfamiliar to me. anyway! buckle up, enjoy the ride, this is kind of long.

trigger warning for abuse/unhealthy parental relationships because vamps i guess.

first of all: i recently read vtm: bloodstained love. while it focus on the more romantic and sexual aspects of kindred relationships with a lot of references to obsessive/posessive behavior and grotesque acts of love, it also made me wonder how those would translate to platonic or familial relationships. add some changeling shenanigans to that and we have some interesting concepts to play with! and with that being said...

– you're a changeling. kidnapped into arcadia and trapped there for who knows how long. in your durance, you dream of going back home, of reuniting with your friends and family, escaping your keeper to finally, finally enjoy freedom in the world you were born in.

– and one day, you do escape. back into your world, never feeling completely safe with your keeper looking to get you back and huntsmen being a very real threat, but you're ready to rebuild your life and enjoy your newfound freedom.

– there are various mentions throughout the ctl books on how unsuspecting or heedless changelings might have their freedom stolen again, this time by kindred. so, as it turns out, you'll have to deal with creatures other than the true fae who are more than willing to keep you caged!

the angst potential in a changeling reuniting with ther parent(s) only to find out they've become something inhuman, and not all that different from their keeper is unmatched.

maybe you watch them from a distance first. maybe you excitedly seek them out. maybe you just randomly bump into your parent by complete chance, after presuming them dead or deciding to abandon your old life. maybe they find you.

but the point is: they're kindred. so different from when you last saw them, as a teenager, as a child, before you were taken. as if having huntsmen and your keeper after you wasn't trying enough, a vampire parent comes (back) into your life to make it even more complicated.

a ventrue dad will make his ghouls your bodyguards, following you day and night. it makes you insanely uncomfortable, as you liken them to changelings serving true fae back in arcadia. he says it's because of his own dangerous kindred affairs that might affect you, but after an unplesant encounter with the huntsmen he might just decide you shouldn't be out and about at all.

your parent is either a neonate or an ancilla by the time your return from arcadia. your fetch is dead for whatever reason, expired, after living a life in your stead, automatically making the vampire believe their child is dead– now imagine their surprise and confusion when they see you– real you, living and breathing. and maybe you're distraught, too, seeing that they haven't aged a day or should, depeding on how long you've been gone, be most definetly dead.

(this is absolutely NOT going to send the vampire parent into a mental breakdown and spiral into obsession upon discovering the child they have lost and buried was literally a soulless copy of their real child who got kidnapped by faeries. a clone made out of twigs and a cat's eyes that stole their child's place and they never noticed. everything is just fine. it does not them affect them mentally at all :3)

(bonus points if the fetch was killed by the vampire parent's enemies after being entagled in their mess. they feel like they are getting a second chance and will absolutely not screw it up! cue you, poor changeling, being locked away or put under heavy surveillance.)

on the other hand, a kindred parent who currently has a living fetch of their child just being EXTREMELY distraught when they keep spotting someone who looks exactly like their kid at random places they definetly shouldn't be at is very funny and kind of unsettling!

(a vampire mom just feeding on mortals at the club, socializing with other kindred, perhaps dealing with some unresolved issues with her sire, etc. Then she spots you, her real kid, unbeknownst to her, just chilling, among all those dangerous vampires, when you're supposed to be in your dorm room at least a thousand miles from there. she calls the fetch's phone, expecting you to pick up and start explaining yourself. your fetch answers the phone, talks to her, sleep-drunk and confused as to why she's calling so late, but the person she's looking at has made no motion at all. they're not talking. they have not picked up the phone. but that's her kid's face, she's sure. what the fuck?)

for low-humanity ancillae/elder kindred, having their child back might bring about long-forgotten mortal feelings of genuine parental love, although they might express in the very unorthodox way kindred would. they simply do not understand why their child does not want to be around them. they just want to bond with you and keep you safe where kindred and fae can't get to you, make up for lost time. what do you mean they're "just like your keeeper"?

i think a lot of kindred parents will leave you be, mostly brujah or gangrel, knowing you'll be safer if they keep you away from their world. provided there was no fetch to replace you, they think it's amazing enough you were found alive and well after years of being a missing person. you don't like talking about what happened in your... "durance"... fine, they'll keep the investigators off your back, too. they might not even know you're no longer human. but they are going to check on you once in a while, or keep tabs on you, or even have some of their people watch you from a distance. just to make sure.

(just don't let them catch wind of all the changeling shenanigans or huntsmen attacks on your person. that might just change their mind...)

kindred parents might believe you're safer away from their world, yes, but they can just as easily bring you into the mess of kindred society without a second thought.

not very fun being a fairest when your toreador mother insists you show your mien to impress her fellow clan mates and other kindred with your overwhelming beauty. she's always been a pageant mom, so this shouldn't surprise you. there's several layers of wrongness to this, from having your changeling identity exposed to multiple vampires to further your mother's social status to this very situation bringing back so many unpleasant memories from your durance, and it's bound to end badly.

(the toreador pageant mom could very easily be a nosferatu pageant mom, a cleopatra now living vicariously through your fae-given beauty.)

(she will realize how terrible a mistake that was when vampires start really paying attention to you. or not. who knows.)

(gifts that could easily have come from a true fae lord start pouring in. letters written in excessive passion, bouquets of bloody roses, dresses made out of human skin, all delivered by equally dazed-looking ghouls. perhaps your mother will know, then, she fucked up severely. or maybe she'll just tell you to be grateful for those wonderful gifts.)

on another hand, a nosferatu parent taking one look at their fairest child's mien and deciding "oh. no kindred can see you like. ever. stay away from toreador specifically". you don't know what a toreador is, but you'll try to heed the advice.

your ancilla mother meets your motley and proceeds to show them baby pictures of you, taken in the 1870s shortly before your abduction to Faerie. they are very well preserved and you look most proper in your little sailor outfit.

you have a beast/ogre seeming and your gangrel parent thinks you're pretty rad :) you go hunting together.

your tzimisce dad has living furniture made out of human skin, but it's nothing you haven't seen in arcadia before. he's a little disappointed by your lack of enthusiasm, and very offended when you tell him your keeper had better taste in couches. trying to evade a tzimisce dad after he's been made aware of your existence is a difficult task, and you will get caught and held captive at one point (for your safety, of course!). if there is a fetch currently living your life, they will be immediately killed or horribly tortured (read: vicissitude) for the crime of decieving the tzimisce and impersonating you, regardless of you already having decided to leave said fetch alone.

(tzimisce dad thinks you should be thankful. he dealt with the imposter. shouldn't you be happy?)

(if he’s got cash and has some land within his domain to spare, he might let you build a little home not too far from his own to give you a semblance of independence to try and settle you down. might.)

(on the other hand, you have the chance to become a really good escape artist. take your time in captivity with your tzimisce dad to practice your escaping and running away skills, after all, every good changeling needs it! you also get the bonus of reliving your childhood/teenagehood with all the sneaking out.)

(quick intermission: all of these concepts might result in low-clarity for the changeling?? i'm not too sure how clarity damage works yet.

update: it absolutely might!)

your malkavian mother thinks she's plagued with visions of her missing child, glimpses of what they might look nowadays, wherever they are. this is actually you, visiting her in her dreams through oneiromancy.

(everyone thought, back then, that it was just a scare. you wandered into the forest and for ten hours people searched for you, only to find you safe and sound, without a scratch in your body or a speck of dirt in your shoes hours later. but she knew better. she knew that wasn't really you. it haunted her for the rest of her life, and it haunts her unlife even now. she never made it to the hedge.)

you can't take your tremere parent ANYWHERE. you give in after endless nagging and take them to a goblin market, but their arrogance will get them roped into terrible deals if you don't keep your eyes on them full time. you do take this as an opportunity to show off your changeling capabilities. you're in your element.

(you also drop life-altering bits of Faerie lore at random or inappropriate times. it sends them spiraling. you just hope they won't share it with anyone...)

darkling changeling just chilling with their nosferatu dad in the sewers, sharing rats.

and that's all for today, folks.

[teecupangel]

There are a lot of Desmond gets turned into this or Desmond gets turned into that and gets sent through time... But there's no misunderstanding stories out there that really scratch my itch?

Like I'm looking for some Cale Henituse level misunderstanding fics!

For example; Desmond gets sent to the past by Minerva and is mistaken for a Fea. He has a modern way of speaking and a very... unique mindset due to the life he's lived... or should I say lives, that confuses his ancestors and makes them believe he has an inhuman way of thinking. He is allergic to silver because that's a thing and I said so. He likes nature (due to Connor) and he hates it when his ancestors try to lie (because he was literally them at some point and knows they are lying) They think he can just sense lies.

Also maybe due to a POE recreating his body in the past he looks kinda mad beautiful. Uncanny valley beautiful.

P.s. I just realized that people in those time periods and in those regions... they might not all know about the fae... Oops.

So let's say a displaced Irishman with a healthy obsession with fae, travels the entire world for perfectly reasonable reasons and just starts drunkenly screaming about mushroom rings, silver and Fae were ever Desmond's ancestors can hear.

I’m gonna be honest with you, when I read Cale Henituse level, I immediately assumed this was going to be Desmond having a one-sided unattainable love story for a slacker life XD

So we have this idea of Desmond being a fae changling and I think it might scratch that itch you have? To be more exact, in this idea, Faes are another name for Isus and Minerva messed with the timeline just enough to turn Desmond into an Isu. He also has an uncanny valley kind of face going on as part of being a fae.

Also, if you want Cale Henituse level of misunderstanding. He’s a Fae and he acts like a Fae but, for those who are unfamiliar what a Fae is, he acts similar to another… ‘mythical’ being.

An angel.

So the misunderstanding becomes that Desmond is a divine being of some kind XD

[audreyscribes]

Ω PJO DEMIGOD HEADCANONS: 🌏 GAEA: PRIMORDIAL OF EARTH 👩‍🌾

Author’s note: *put head into hands* Alright, so I may or may not have went off from the usual formula (Do I even have a formula for writing these at this point?) and I think I may have made the primordial demigods here more cryptid cause they’re the literal by-product of primordial beings that are also half-mortal? I won’t be including the usual blurbs at the ending cause all of them are probably pushing the word limit Tumblr has but worry not, I made up for it by putting more storylines into the whole thing. PRIMORDIAL DEMIGODS MASTERLIST: [LINK]

You’re formed right as the war with the giants and Gaia has begun and afterwards. You’re not sure when you started to form but you could feel the clay that humanity was formed from, and the combination of all the blood and bones spilled by mankind and nature, and had been buried down within the earth. While you don’t appear monstrous or with any obvious monstrous parts like the King of Athens Erechtheus, you could feel the monstrous potential flowing through your blood. However, your skin and flesh feel too foreign to you for your own liking.

You came out of the ground, peering right up at Ouranus’ domain and felt anger and annoyance as that was the first thing you saw and not your mother’s domain.

As you can imagine being formed from blood spilled onto the earth, the bones of individuals buried both by violent and non-violent means, you have a preposition of anger and violence while also being very giving and nurturing. Just like Mother Nature. Fitting as you’re Gaia’s child.

You struggled to get used to having a physical form and the bones within your body. You almost fell over the edge once but you felt something grab you as you were helped upright, before taught how to walk. That was when you met the child of Tartarus, born and raised in Tartarus itself, and further nurtured by Gaea when she opened the Doors of Death.

With your broiling anger, you expressed a desire to take revenge for your mother against the gods and their heroes. The child of Tartarus did not explicitly cheer at your words, but agreed to follow you as they didn’t see a reason to deny you either. Together, you searched for the other primordial demigods as the child of Tartarus revealed you two weren’t the only ones.

As you can imagine, being a child of Gaea means you have the ability of Mother Nature; from the plants, water, rock, even calling forces of acts of Nature. However, due to how broad your power is, you have a hard time controlling it because as much as you can bring them forth, you can’t really control nature itself.

All aspects of the Earth seem to gravitate to you, listening to your whims and demands. Even the sea will part for you if desired as Pontus, the personification of the Sea, loves Gaea and follows her will. Animals will fall under this and no matter how dangerous the animal, the animal will follow you to your command. 

Careful how you use your power though. Your abilities are too much for your mortal body to handle, even if you’re a child of Gaea. Don’t try to take control too much of other’s domains when you face the god’s heroes. While you also can do the same as them, those realms are their’s and their godly parents. There’s only so much you can do but there’s much you can do as well.

As time goes on, your form can change like the clay it was once was. Gaea also being known being the mother of monsters and with evidence of her children/offspring having inhuman and monstrous, you also have the ability to have such traits; from growing scales on your skin to act as armour, or sprouting wings from your back to fly, you can switch as you will. Be wary though, if you stick with those forms too long, the monstrous aspects will take over and you may never become mortal in both body and mind.

Your key feature is your form. You look like a clay or stone sculpted and chiseled into a form of a human statue, perfect, flawless, but seemingly unreal. You can feel your mother’s blood coursing in your body, both nurturing and destruction. You can feel your delicate form barely holding the destruction underneath you and if you let it, you’ll find yourself turning into a monster, mindless, destructive, and unforgiving. Both features of Mother Earth.

[stressfulsloth]

What do you think of the like “It won't put smoke back in her mouth...” from Harry’s dream on the third day?

I took it somewhat literally and thought maybe Dora smoked, maybe she smoked with Harry specifically, but not on her own. Maybe she quit shortly before they split, or maybe he just had a fond memory of her smoking. Harry does seem to go for smokers (Klaasje, Kim, The Smoker on The Balcony, Tommy Le Homme according to some- which I didn’t pick up on but I’m pretty dense) which is pretty much the only thing that lends any credibility to my interpretation.

But I was curious if you (or anyone else) had any other interpretations or if I’d missed something completely.

So I think there are multiple implications to that line, although ofc I could be way off base! Smoking as a literal piece of Harry's life, something that actually anchors a lot of his remaining memories, and also as a pretty layered metaphor for love under capitalism. That line is a continuation of this section:

"The smoke in her mouth," sounding a lot more literal in the first section. These are concrete memories, sight memories- potted flowers, faces in a crowd, a half-remembered woman always mid way through breathing out a lungful of smoke- and the smoke lends them a kind of ephemeral half-obscured quality. It sounds likely in these half-remembered scenes that Dora was a literal smoker and was from the beginning- maybe to impress him? It's something that she refers to in the final dream- she saw him "smoking in the bus stop" and thought he was the *coolest* (as has been pointed out, a parallel to Harry's reaction to Kim smoking on the balcony!). You're right that Harry goes for smokers, and they are not in short supply in Martinaise. Smoking is a stress reliever, an appetite suppressant, a crutch for people struggling to get by- Martinaise has few places to buy proper food but does have a kiosk to buy cigarettes. Perhaps Dora's smoking started like their relationship, as something she thought looked impossibly cool, and slowly became an unhealthy coping mechanism tangled up in stress and poverty.

I think because Harry's fragmented memories are so steeped in cigarette smoke, he also associates cigarettes with longing for the unattainable, with things lost never to be regained, with his youth. He calls the smoker on the balcony the "god of youth and cigarettes". The smell of cigarettes triggers a wave of "warm nostalgia," invokes a time before he became ground down by life and by his job. Dora smoking, mouth full of smoke, sets her amongst these unattainable desires.

I think Dora smoking symbolically has a lot to do with the "lungs are for love" idea, too, with smoking being a slow corruption of that love. Glowing lungs slowly filled up with tar, idealised love slowly succumbing to the pressures of capitalism, of poverty, until there's barely room left in the lungs to draw breath. It's another shadow cast by Dolores Dei and her glowing lungs, glowing because "the world loved her and she loved it back!" (although I think it's fair to say that given the war crimes committed by her "army of humanity," her love for the world can be called into question somewhat). Obviously there are a lot of Dora-Dolores parallels and so I think that if Dolores' lungs are significant then Dora's are too (not even touching on the supernatural subsuming of Dora's self within Dolores, the literal consumption of her via the historical embodiment of white bourgeois femininity). Where Dora and Dolores have become irrevocably tangled in Harry's mind, he fixates on her glowing lungs, her love and her unattainability. Her smoking in that initial flash of memory is something very innately human, compared to the symbolic thing that she warps into later on, more "inhuman," more "unsettling." Putting the smoke back in her mouth- putting the Dora-ness back in her? Rewinding the clock to before this all-consuming unattainability.

Anyway! I am sure that's a much longer and more rambling answer than you wanted, and I apologise for that! But yeah, I agree that Dora probably was literally a smoker 😅

[awildtei]

Jackie Taylor will haunt me forever the way she haunts Shauna, because her death is the first in the show that truly feels like death often does in real life: sudden and anticlimactic and like so much is left incomplete.

We don't really know anything about the ones who died in the crash, and Laura Lee's death has this poetic sense of sacrificial rightness about it, she got on that plane knowing it might not work, she got to say goodbye, her arc as saved-turned-prospective savior is complete. Her arc as saved-by-God turned killed-by-whatever-rules-in-the-wilderness is complete. She passes on her faith and dies a grand, dramatic death (literally goes out with a bang).

But Jackie. Jackie is nothing if not loose threads and 'wait, that's it?'s. She's this character who we first see having sex with her boyfriend and not enjoying it, looking at herself in the mirror in fractured reflections and clearly experiencing deep turmoil about her sense of self vs image, glancing longingly and guiltily at her best friend even as she keeps up the act of golden girl, getting called the leader and uniting force of the Yellowjackets. In the first episode alone we are already presented with all the pieces that could shape up to be a fascinating puzzle once solved.

And those very interesting glimpses of what her arc of self-discovery and self-acceptance may look like (both in, like, a queer way but also in a dropping her façade of Perfect It Girl Who Knows What She's Doing way) (or maybe a darker, self-loathing and continued denial arc, I'm not picky!) get reinforced over and over: it turns out she's not a very good leader. She has sex with Travis and seems to have another moment of 'welp, that didn't work'. She finds out Shauna's had sex with someone and is clearly hurt by it beyond 'you didn't tell me'. She's jealous of how close Shauna is with Tai. She turns out not to be a very good team player when she doesn't get to lead. We know she dies, we think she will be hunted down by a pack of mad women and slaughtered in a frenzy of hatred or something else breathtaking and dramatic.

And then... she dies. She dies, not in a big explosion or with an act of inhumane violence. She dies in the cold, unseen, after a very stereotypical teenage girl fight with her best friend, and any possible character arc she might have had dies with her. Her death is the catalyst for so many things that will be crucial to the other girl's arcs, but her own is just... done. Just like that. No more possibilities for her. No more of her dealing with internalized heteronormativity, no exploration of her relationship with her parents, no hating or loving Shauna, no more anything. She's dead. Who is Jackie Taylor when societal conventions are stripped away and she is the rawest, most honest version of herself? Someone who dies, alone and hurt and heartbroken. Someone who becomes ostracized from a group she once understood to the point that there is no other way forward but for her to die. A teen girl, with insecurities and drama that in another life she might've looked back as an adult and consider overblown.

Shauna tells Jackie during their final fight that she will peak in high school, and she does. Her development ends in high school, the scattered pieces of her complexities and flaws and potential are blown to the wind and left to be picked up by Shauna in her flawed, subjective recollection. Who could Jackie Taylor have turned out to be if she hadn't died? No one. There is no version of this story in which Jackie makes it out of the wilderness. And so the threads of all the possible paths of her development are left for us and Shauna to pick up and fantasize about, without ever knowing for sure which of them, if any, might have come true.

I think that's why her death is the most tragic, because it feels the most realistic. No chase through the woods, no explosion, no brave sacrifice, no unnameable violence except for a few cruel words. She just... dies. Alone and cold and dreaming of being warm and loved and of her best friend saying back the words Jackie once said to her ('You're my best friend. You know that, right?'). She dies and any meaning attributed to that death is done so after the fact, because it in itself is just fucking... simple and fucking tragic.

And that's the thing, right? She just dies, and the flavor of her death is that of losing a loved one abruptly and going 'wait, what about their plans? their dreams? the version of themselves they'll never get to grow into? what about the unfinished conversations and the half-read book on their bedside table and the goodbyes they didn't get to say and the aspects of their personality they didn't get to develop or change? what do you mean they're just gone and their story is finished without satisfying closure? what do you mean any choice about who they were when alive and who they would've turned into is now up to the ones left behind? It doesn't make any sense. It's not fair.' And it doesn't! And it's not! It's just how it is!

[tremorsmackenzie]

I have another idea for a fanfic.

tw: daisys depression and generally sucky time in season 4

Basically, Daisy gets taken into the Framework instead of Fitz. After some flavourtext about how 4x16 would differ if there was no doctor and fitzsimmons had to find their path in the framework, the resistance base would get attacked, and theyd have to evacuate and relocate to a backup base - afterlife, as it turns out, because if aida doesnt need to provide fitz with specimen to study, it should be fine. There, they'd be greeted by the inhumans second in command, a woman named daisy johnson. She begrudgingly lets in shield, but is pretty miffed about it since theyre barely better than Hydra in her opinion. There are tensions, and fitzsimmons find out that daisy lost her dad when Hydra emerged and started tracking down subversives. Aka, her life is pretty sad here as well. Convincing daisy that this is all fake is pretty damn impossible, since shes not very receptive to the idea that her actual life in the real world is even worse than this. It takes a hydra attack that kills jiaying and most of the inhumans in front of her to get her to come around, and its mostly because she has nothing left to lose at that point.

Thoughts?

Edit: there would also be a scene about lmd!daisy attacking fitzsimmons in the real world and retriggering all of fitz' ptsd about hive!daisy before they plug themselves in.

Also, aidas motivations would be pretty basic and unimportant here because she isnt literally trying to become a real girl for fitz.

Title would be change you like a remix from that one song by fall out boy.

And there would be lots of scenes with daisy and a jiaying who hasnt been abducted and tortured by Whitehall, but has instead raised her daughter with her husband.

i mean, a daisy who got to grow up in a loving home, surrounded by chinese and inhuman culture. the POTENTIAL. may and daisy suddenly being able to bond over chinese things as the children of asian-american immigrants. daisy actually being able to speak chinese, albeit with an accent. the pain of may and daisy being immediatley hostile towards each other once they meet in afterlife. the implications down the line of a daisy who feels even more responsible for the inhumans in the space arc of season 5a, and who would be able to shower them with the inhuman culture none of them ever got to experience. i am going insane over here.

[kasururigoth]

Your thoughts on Shizuo as Kasuka's brother?

hiiiii so first of all thanks for asking because i've been dying to talk about this Second forgive me if my rambling becomes a bit nonsensical or hard to understand, language barrier + brain worms sometimes make it hard to get the right words out of my brain, THIRD OF ALL i'm going to talk about sibling dynamics while having NO firsthand experience on the subject because i'm a chronical only child, with that said:

to analyze the heiwajima brothers dynamic i'm first going to analyze them as a pair rather than individuals because i feel that they are both a perfect example on how trauma affects people differently depending on their already set dynamics (meaning how shizuo is the oldest and kasuka the youngest, and the personality traits they have pre and post The Refrigerator Incident)

it is almost ironic how they don't match the already set stereotypes of sibling dynamics (how, for example, older siblings are associated with responsibility and stability and the younger tend to be the more rebellious and temperamental). this twist is what makes shizuo feel like he hasn't played his role as an older brother the right way, because kasuka is the responsible one and the stable one (in some way, at least)

he feels guilty for the way kasuka has turned out (even if it worked out for him at the end: meaning, he still has a career, he's still cared for and loved by fans, regardless of his personality). it's sad because it isn't shizuo's fault, at least not entirely, how much violence kasuka had to witness, how much rage he had to see from a very young age. they were both young, they were both children when this all happened, it was inevitable.

they both take complete opposite and equally extreme ways of coping with this. shizuo lets all his rage out, even if it breaks his entire body, because there's no point in holding it all in (at the end, he'll come out stronger), while kasuka holds down his feelings to the point he becomes devoid of them, because he has seen what they have done to his brother. they are two sides of the same coin, two different results of the same conditions (this is a big part of why i feel like their polarities also mirror the kururi and mairu dynamic). kasuka sort of took on the role of a glass child because of this, willingly maybe, maybe not. he does say that he consciously chose to turn out his emotions for the sake of not becoming like shizuo. This also makes me wonder how implicated where their parents in this whole situation like??? where were they that entire time?? shizuo mentions his family was normal and neither of them show to have a complicated relationship with them, but still i have to wonder.

i think that shizuo would break if he ever knew how inhuman kasuka feels too, they share that at least. do you think shizuo ever misses the moments he and his brother laughed together? cried together? wow this got sad, im going to change the subject.

some of the moments that i LOVE to see are how happy shizuo gets when kasuka needs help from him because he gets to be the big brother!! at last!! he goes out of his way to help him when he is in trouble or danger in both stalker incidents (world at peace OVA and Adabashi arc), and it makes me laugh how he goes berserk the moment someone mentions his brother in a tone that might be even slightly negative.

also i want to mention these three exchanges from the eight novel specifically

they are the world's most Brothers ever... they literally understand each other to a different level AHHHHHH IM GOING TO BE SICK

like, everything that could go wrong with them went wrong, they are both fucked up but at the end of the day it literally works out for them!! they have the healthiest sibling dynamic on the entire show compared to the rest and that says a lot by itself. Sure i know shizuo feels guilty for everything but knowing his little brother is doing fine brings him peace of mind. Love that one scene (episode six of the first season i think??) where celty tells shizuo that he must really love his brother. they are going to make me end it all i swear to god.

shizuo is aware that he screwed up over and over again but at the end of the day they still have each other's backs regardless of everything that went through :') i wished we had the chance to see more of them post-ketsu buuuut well maybe i'm asking too much narita clearly doesn't care about kasuka enough 😭 this got very long, i hope i gave an almost complete answer, i could certainly talk about this subject for hours on end. thank u for asking !!

little heiwajimas for u