#but at the least i have the benefit of knowing shinee have performed a Lot of their comebacks live

[roobylavender]

r.e. your to be deleted riize post - i absolutely agree but the problem is if you say anything like that on twitter the wonbin akgaes will jinja kill you :/ you say literally anything and they somehow make it about wonbin and how you hate him and think he deserves to step on legos or some shit ahshsjdjsj it's truly unbearable over there.....

the environment on there is so fascinating to me because somehow if you call him the second best vocalist seunghan's fans aren't supposed to be upset or call bullshit but if you call seunghan the second best vocalist it's automatically deemed wonbin slander. and the environment is so bad that you even have non-wonbin akgaes who seem to believe in this alleged vocal hierarchy rather than try to interrogate the reasoning behind it. i know the hiatus definitely exacerbates tensions and frankly there are a lot of seunghan fans who act absolutely crazy but it's frustrating even trying to navigate a single genuine conversation about their skills as vocalists because you're overwhelmingly shut down by people who think the group has actually sung live for a majority of their career. i was trying to talk to someone yesterday about how honestly is insanely overprocessed and not a good reflection of what their voices actually sound like live and they eventually resorted to sharing links of studio recording sessions with me as if it was a testament to their ability to sing live on the spot in one take while performing choreo.. the level of cope is just insane and it's frustrating because i like them a lot as a group and they're clearly all greedy to improve on their vocals but it's worth acknowledging the company holds them back by coddling them a lot. even at their fancon today they weren't singing every song live and that's insane when they don't even have ten songs of their own to sing. it's overall really jarring to engage with as someone who's been following groups like shinee and snsd for years like sue me for wanting to listen to singers who actually sing djsklfjsgddsgf

[hlficlibrary]

- HL Fic Library's Friends With Benefits Fic Rec -

Remember to leave kudos and a comment on the fics you enjoyed to show your appreciation! You can find our other recs here.

💚 nobody shines the way you do by wildestdreams / @butyouneverdo [E, 115k]

“We might as well just date.”

Harry froze in his arms, his body stilled as he slowly lifted his head up at Louis to give him the most confused expression he’d ever worn. Louis literally wanted to fuck him into the next century. “What?” Harry asked. “Are you--.”

“No,” Louis said, shaking his head before Harry could go far with that idea and trap Louis into confessing his own feelings. “I mean...like I think I have a plan?”

“A plan?” Harry said slowly. “A plan other than me going to Peter’s tomorrow and groveling for hours; maybe even days?”

The thought of Harry doing that made Louis’ skin burn, but he schooled his expression well and nodded swiftly. “There will be no groveling. Well, there will be, but not on your end.” or

Louis pretends to be Harry’s boyfriend to help him win back his douchebag ex-boyfriend, but things don’t go according to plan.

💚 Where You Lay by HamPalpert / @ham-palpert [E, 86k]

When Louis's upcoming heat threatens his success at his new dream job, he asks the best (and only) person he can think of to help him through it: his best mates' best mate, Harry Styles. Harry reluctantly accepts, and together the two navigate a strange friends with benefits relationship that quickly turns complicated.

💚 Don't Want Shelter by @kingsofeverything [E, 76k]

Louis and Harry have known each other all their lives. Friends as children, they danced around each other as teenagers, and have spent the last twenty-five years either screaming at each other or not speaking at all. Except for that one time ten years ago… When Hurricane Nicole threatens the coast, they end up stuck together in their families' old vacation home that they begrudgingly co-own. During the storm, and in the months after, they’re both forced to reevaluate their history and what they mean to each other.

💚 Do Not Go Gentle by @afirethatcannotdie [E, 70k]

“This is all a game to you, isn’t it? Well, it’s not for me. This is a real life or death situation,” Louis says, spitting the words at him. “And I just don’t think you’re cut out for it.��

For a moment, they stare at each other in complete silence. Harry can feel his blood thrumming between his ears, can see Louis glaring at him, feels red-hot anger. And then all he feels, oppressively and desperately, is lust.

Suddenly Louis is surging up to him to press his lips against Harry’s. Harry walks the two of them backwards, pressing Louis back against the door. Louis oomphs in surprise and brings his hands under Harry’s scrub top, scratching at his lower back.

“Lock — oh — lock the… fucking door,” Louis mutters.

When Harry Styles starts his first day as a surgical intern, he expects a lot of things: to treat patients, to observe a surgery, to feel a bit overwhelmed. What he definitely doesn't expect, however, is that the handsome guy he kicked out of his bed this morning is also an intern.

A Grey’s Anatomy AU where tensions are high, Harry and Louis are hooking up in secret, and no one has time for love. Or do they?

💚 If I Had Three Wishes (They'd All Be For You) by phdmama / @phd-mama [E, 66k]

When Harry Styles sets off for Provincetown, MA from his tiny hometown of Kerkhoven, MN, he’s facing an uncertain future. He’s always planned to leave, just...not like this. When he meets a gorgeous cabaret performer on his first night in P-town, little does he know how his life is about to change, or how much he has yet to learn. When they become more than just friends, Louis makes it clear he's not looking for anything serious, but at least, Harry consoles himself, they’ll always be friends. Over one extraordinary summer, Harry learns to navigate life on his own through a journey of self-discovery and sexual awakening. But when Harry’s past tragically reappears in his life, will his friendship with Louis be able to hold on?

💚 lemon eyes by @turnyourankle [E, 50k]

It's not proper for omegas to mess around with alphas before finding their bondmate. But Harry doesn't give a damn what's proper and fully intends on getting as much experience as he can before even trying to find one. As far as he's concerned, the right alpha won't care, and he'll have some fun on the way.

And who better to start with than Louis Tomlinson, the alpha with the worst reputation on campus?

💚 I Like You, Say It Back by ishiplouis / @pocketsunshineharry [E, 43k]

“Lou, this is Harry,” Niall says, making Louis pivot straight away to look at Niall with round eyes. “Yes, that Harry,” his friend smirks.

“Hi, who are you? Niall didn’t tell me we were waiting for someone.” Harry says to Niall with a pointed look.

“I’m,” he stutters, “I’m very happy to meet you.” He decides to leave out his name and who he really is. He can already imagine the guy’s smile faltering and him leaving the pub as soon as he hears his name. That’s not what he wants, that’s not what his inner Alpha wants either.

OR the one where it takes a lot of time for Harry and Louis to figure it out. But they do, they always do, don't they?

💚 I Do by @brightgolden [E, 43k]

After moving to Los Angeles when he was just eighteen years old with the hope to be a household name in Hollywood, Harry Styles finally earns himself an Oscar several years down the road.

But his new found fame is rattled when he bumps into a certain Louis Tomlinson backstage after four long years. It doesn’t take beyond one coincidence for his past to catch up to him and Harry finds himself tirelessly trying to replace what he had lost.

💚 Drifting, Weightless by @dinosaursmate [E, 41k]

“We’ve been asked to do a gig,” Niall said slowly. “Harry and Liam are completely up for it, I am too.” “Alright. What’s the catch?” Louis asked with suspicion. “It’s, um…” Niall cleared his throat. “So, Juliana was contacted by this themed cruise company, and they want us to do a four-day One Direction cruise.” The words hung in the air as Louis’ right eyebrow slowly crept up and he fixed Niall with a stare. “Absolutely not.” Louis rolled his eyes. “You’re essentially asking me to go on a working holiday with my ex. Stranded on a boat in the ocean for four days.” “Cruise ships are huge! You don’t have to see him in your down time.” --- Harry and Louis are exes with benefits until they're not, and the Mediterranean Sea might just be the perfect place to work through some unresolved issues.

💚 I Just Want You to Stay by @sadaveniren [E, 34k]

“Remember the vet job up in Edinburgh I interviewed for right before your rut?” Louis nodded. “She just called me back. I got the job. I start next year.” Harry let out a shriek as he said the word year and he clapped his hands in delight. “Isn’t that great! Full time vet job! New animals to meet! A new environment!” He settled his eyes back on Louis, who was still standing there in front of him with wide eyes. “Isn’t it great, Lou?”

That seemed to jolt Louis out of his thoughts and he nodded immediately, opening his arms up for Harry to dive into. “Holy shit, yes. Congratulations. Come here,” he wrapped his arms around Harry and cuddled him close, pressing his nose into Harry’s neck. “Holy shit,” he whispered.

aka Louis and Harry have been roommates for four years, comfortable in their routine and their relationship. But all of that is about to change.

💚 Tell Me This Is Paradise by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird [E, 19k]

Harry Styles has been lucky in love but unlucky in the bedroom with all of her previous boyfriends. When her best friend Niall finds out that she's never had an orgasm, she knows just what Harry needs: Louis Tomlinson. Niall sets Harry up to get sorted out.

💚 dance like waves along the wind by @maroonmoonlouis [E, 17k]

“No?” Harry inquired. “Am I not at the mercy to follow your every order? To cater to your every whim?”

Louis’s lips parted as he swallowed thickly, Harry’s eyes tracing his bobbing Adam’s apple intently.

“Are you?” were the only words he could get out in response before Harry was dipping down to press a heated kiss against his lips.

Or a Greek Mythology AU where Louis is Adonis and Harry is Poseidon. Louis would really like to move on with his everyday life without everyone on Mt. Olympus talking about his ex, who just happens to be the God of the Sea.

💚 Tilt-A-Whirl by @musketrois [E, 14k]

Louis walked away from Base and looked down at his schedule. Since it was the beginning of the season, he noticed a few new names on the list. It seemed the only one who had no training on any of the Bravo rides was someone named Harry Styles.

or Louis works at an amusement park called Wonderland and Harry Styles is a new employee.

💚 Woke Up Feeling Knotty by @jaerie [E, 7k]

Beta Louis has a kink for knotting and the secret aesthetic porn blog he runs about it is more than proof. When he accidentally finds out his alpha best friend Harry is one of his biggest fans, he knows he has to come clean after everything that has already happened between them. Harry just might be willing to help him out anyway.

💚 to wrap me in paper by @juliusschmidt [E, 6k]

Louis hasn't been keeping track of his ruts, but, it turns out, Harry has.

💚 Roses in the Rain by theweightofmywords / @rockstarlouis [M, 5k]

“Don’t- I know what you’re going to ask, and I… Harry, I can’t,” he said, his voice cracking. “Please. You know that I can’t.”

Louis had his six siblings and his old house with its falling-apart porch to take care of. This town was where people still approached him, 8 years after high school graduation, to tell him that they loved him as Danny in Grease. This town was where he had his pick of suitors, where he had his first kiss, where he took his first steps, where his mama lived, died, and was buried, and he couldn’t leave just to follow some man that he loved.

Harry, for now, seemed to understand that.

“Okay, baby,” Harry sighed, rubbing his eyes. “Okay.”

💚 What About Tonight by @taggiecb [G, 2k]

Louis loves his new career. It might just be killing him, but he loves it. What he doesn't love is how easily the boy he cares most about seems to move in and out of his life.

💚 'Tis the Damn Season by zanni_scaramouche / @zanniscaramouche [M, 2k]

The door will open and he’ll smile wide and genuine at the people who raised him, his teary-eyed mother and rosey-face step-father. He won’t think about the cabin in the woods again until next December.

[otakebi-cam-wao]

pd101 japan the girls ep 9 by a harowota

you know the deal

opening words hit kinda hard

ONE TWO THREE LEAP HIGH!!! leap high brain rot

why elimination feelings recap?! me sad i miss S. Kotone

the concept groups feelings being either saved or having lost members is so :c

Ayane is ambicious, quite sure some might take her words a bit insensitive...?

ahhh saved teams must chose the ones they think they need (toxic's case)

everyone (except Ran, who choose Yuuki) choose for the 1st one themselves?

oh and Ayane put Joa 3rd

ow Joa felt impossible to add herself there

ohhhh &ME time, saved ones

Koto unsure poor thing

poor Tsuzumi, can't choose

AtoZ time here

Shizuku wants S. Kokona

PARUTAN IS SO CUTE

Popcorn team, idk, N. Kokona wants Joa

who stays for &ME?! (as if i didn't saw images before... remember half)

bye Rinon, let's see you in your group for this (which i totally remember... i don't)

awwww Rinon!!! (i love and hate how i get attached to these girls)

who stays for TOXIC?!

bye Miyu, Joa, Hazuki... let's see you later (poor Miyu, she was leader)

all of them are so cute!!! (feels like sisters, all sisters)

NOOOOOOOO AYANE SAD (well, all sad)

how they join the groups? who decides?

ohhh they divide

AtoZ team so cute!!!

they got Rinon and miyu

AWWWWW THEIR SIGNS

CUTE GIRLS SO CUTE

they look like little sisters to Miyu and Rinon here, idk

"Ai no reson" - Sakuraba Haruka (love you parutan)

wait... so Baddie got intact... ohhh nice

Mena is like "they're good and i'm glad, but don't want to lose my positions and might lose them)

POPCORN CHAOS

they're so fun!!!!

how they planned it, how they received them, so cute and cute!!!

Joa in popcorn is interesting

ohhh uncle hongee is presenting this as well

Yumeki strict w his fan that wrote Yumeki in kanji, wtf

global producers!

Tsuzumi's "Daisuki" to her french fan (who lives in Korea but speaks japanese, funny remark)

the benefit thingy makes me feel so bad

being 7th is 0 votes, at least give them 100... this is so sad

Koakuma (Baddie) time!!!!

CLAW-me cool and cute at the same time!

YURARA CENTER?!

they look so cool, OMG I WANT YUI'S FIT

oh, ofc, rehearsal, and it's Hana's team so and she's 35th, so is hard for them

all missing Ema-chan :c c:

they got a letter from Ema

awww Ema

DO IT FOR EMA

ohh Ema was supposed to be center, wait... Ranka center? :/

when it changed to Yurara? (better)

ohhh Ranka wanted Yurara to be center and gave it to her for preffer the rap, nice tbh

poor Yurara, girl is worried

Hana is leading ohhh

Baddie is complex as i understand Keiko

they're so wow after that discussion of the concepts, feel them kinda explosive

this is fun group as well

so cool, sexy and cute

wow Yumeki's opinion

i can hear Yui having troubles with the lower notes

i love how Thelma seems so fun as a instructor, Thelma is big sis for sure

OMG THE FITS!!!!!!!! i wanna be that cool to rock those outfints, maybe not Ayano's tho, furr jackets seem so weird for me

PERFORMANCE!!!

best teamwork are you saying Thelma?!

WOOOOOOW YURARA ON THAT INTRO SO CUTE AND COOL

me likes me likes

omg Yui! Hana! Yurara! Keiko!!!

ojhduiafhuyfsghjsdgabfuyh Keiko and Rino!

i'm weak at that type of fanservice, sorry

kinda wanna cover this song ngl

SUGOI SUGOI FOR REAL HONGEE

ehhhh Hana's monitor fell?! went unnoticed

owww Ayano you did it nice, idc how many votes you got, you all shined (even Ranka...)

true, they enjoyed this a lot!!! i agree w hongee

next one is? AtoZ!!!!!!!

i have high expectations but not in how ever you may think

Tokimekki (why traduce the name you mfs?!)

firts love song, expectatives go up

no one wanted this one? (tbh i agree Parutan, i'd want koakuma too, i guess Haruka doesn't want more cute songs?)

Mena keeps being leader and center, but she handled it good, i think

oof Rinon wants the rap, but also Mena

Rinon took the rap

tbf, Mena's voice in the rap is not bright, as Rinon's

Miyu is so good at expressions and again sooo ii onee-san

oof get the same group she was in before joining the dance room is hard for Miyu...

everyone helped her to focus tho

ohhh Parutan is another that quited school, but doesn't regret it, that's good, hope she never will

auch Mena off key

ohhh recording footage

iugh i saw pro tools (i hate pro tools)

awww Parutan looked so cute recording!!!

Mena has many problems to record

2 and half hrs for Mena recording?!

they're supporting her so cutely

i love to hear the hint of classical on Shizuku even when it's almos unperceptable

Yumeki being cute and not scary and kinda therapeutic, make a wish!!!

they look so cute, i wish i could handle cute looks like those, but i cant

Hina and Parutan are all in my eyes

Shizuku so interesting sounding

cute song, me likes

Miyu is master of expressions and taught them nicely

Rinon is so cute cool cute

Miyu is cute sexy cute here

Kagura is cute cool

the rest cute cute, but in different ways

AMAZING me liked, feel so sweet, i hope popcorn isn't much sweeter or i'll get diabetes

Parutan's words for Yumeki so cute, her improvement as well

PARUTAN MAKE IT TO DEBUT WHEREVER

&ME time

Nalala?... kinda boring name

cute cool white uniform-ish outfits, like, but too white... kinda oujosama-ish tho Tsuzumi's is less oujosama-ish tho

idk what to say here, but i sense the troubles they have and had with the rehearsal footage

Miu's funny comment bout choosing center

awww Koto&Yui (Yui hyping Koto)

everyone here's in crisis?! Koto, Suzu, Kokoro?

poor Suzu, i think

Ran words are nice, ngl, i also think i got a 180° turn mindset after those words, and i'm not even sure about what

NAKASONE!!!

Koto isn't there, Koto got sick :c

still sick for last rehearsal?! I feel so sad

Nakasone got me sadly annoyed, but i get it why, but then mother, and then profesional mother

still kinda worried, KOTO WAS SICK!!!

is she sick in the performance?!

wow i haven't talked bout Momona

CUTE TSUZUMI!!!

i can finally see a bit of brightness on Suzu

Momona is my dear Kassa that i remember always but pro-er somehow

everyone cool, tho idk how i feel bout this song, is cool and cute, more cute tho... but there's a something missing... idk

nice performance, nice all, i'm just worried Koto was still sick there

she wasn't totally fine yet, trainers said it, wasn't noticeable, but still worried

i could have said more bout everyone, but idk, no words, and weird feelings

POPCORN TEAM!

kawaii

everyone a flavour of popcorn cute!!!

lol cute Serina!

new F7avors (don't like that 7 there... but cute, all are xxFx)

i'm curious bout cute Joa

uhhh Joa had hard time for sure

lol Serina was the only one wanting to be center after reformation

poor Hazuki can't remembers choreo

Joa extra work

i can't talk bout their meeting but it feels, dunno how, but feels

Sakura is so funny

Nakasone made them go outside!!!

and look from affar

Serina wasn't last rehearsal!

oh nooooo pain, back, or hip?

poor Serina!!!

hope she didn't got it worse after performance

i like they're colour coded, that's idol!

lets go

SO CUTE START!!!

NAGOMI BBY!!!!!

i like this song!

cute Joa!

everyone but wow cute Joa!!!

from cute cute to cute sexy to cute cute?

HYPER CUTE

cute Joa is amazing

all cute

ohhhh Kokona speaking english cute!!!!

I'm gonna speed up stuff cuz gotta sleep, but let's go Toxic

they look sexy

CharmHolic... interesting name

ohhh Kokona says it's a sexy song, makes sense (also the name and fits)

kinda want Yuuki's fit and Momoka's

ok, so, Yuuki leader

Momoka suggesting change on positions

ofc Ayane wants main vocal, girl is confident on her voice

Momoka, Yuuki and Tsukuchi battle for the raps part

Momoka rap (enjoy what you lost one time)

Yuuki got sub vocal 2, so Tsukushi rap 2

so they're discussing the type of sexy the song is, interesting

Ran woks so well with everyone, idk, Ran shines whereer she is because she seems to try her best to make everyone else shine as well, that's what i think at least

Kokona, u can be sexy, believe it!!! (i'm not one to talk tho) also work on expressions, that helps, but you're expresionless

had to put x2 speed

They got Ayane embarrased at recording

c'mon Kokona, u can do it, i know it's hard

Kokona is doing it!

let's go

poor Yuuki, doesn't know how to sing that part!

awww Yuuki and Nano, they were in the same club so it seems so wholesome the help

PERFORMANCE!

new Kokona you say Nakasone? okay okay

i got cautivated by everyone but the song is not my type of sexy song, but nice nice

wow

fr it's a new Kokona

idk what are Momoka's vibes, but i want them and also wanna be under the charm of those vibes (in which way? idk)

not Ayane being the only one becoming cute cute in her solo camera portion after the end! she had a sexy vibe but cut it anyways, love it!

but omg MOMOKA

back to speed up more

every one was amazing!

but tbh, i think &ME was the less amazing one

let's see what people thoght

POPCORN? that was 4th for me

2 on 3rd?

Koakuma?, is my 2nd

AtoZ tied with koakuma? that was my 1st

&ME will be 1st right? ofc... but that was my last (sorry Kassa, and everyone)

Toxic was my 3rd...

sad

oh &ME places

Kokoro and Suzu 4th?

3rd? Kassa oh

6th? Rin...

7th? nooo she will get 0... Koto noooooooooooo, she was sick!

1st? Tsuzumi (deserved) so 2nd Miu

don't wanna see rank...

yes they all did good

no ranks pls!!!!

noooooooooo

they'll have prizes!!! deserved!

i don't want elimination!!!

[noxtms]

❝   CAN WE JUST ADDRESS THE ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM ? i know we all love them but are we really believing that the weird sisters just happened to decide their long awaited reunion should occur the exact weekend that the musical dedicated to celestina warbeck opens at merlin’s music hall ? i hope we all see what they’re doing, here ; the final performance of their farewell tour was totally eclipsed by her TRAGIC murder and i’d bet all the galleons in my savings vault that they recognised the opportunity to pay her back in kind a mile away-   ❞

WHO, WHAT, WHEN, WHERE :  

IN SCOTLAND : a mere week after news of their surprise reunion tour hit newstands across britain, a stage covered by the strongest of cloaking charms appears out on the moors beyond hogsmeade village. just like the final performance of their farewell tour a few years back, THE WEIRD SISTERS chose the location for the sense of symmetry it gives them - the famous band had a humble start in the depths of hogwarts castle and there’s something to be said for doing it all over again so near to the place where they first began. tickets were a hot commodity when they went on sale last week, with plenty of diehard ( & lifelong ) fans losing out due to the short notice of it all - the first concert of the uk & ireland leg of the tour sold out within the first two minutes and a lot of the wix who didn’t manage to score tickets on the knockturn alley black market in the aftermath have decided to camp outside the stage area anyway, just to be able to hear their favorite songs.  to get barricade, wix had to apparate in to the designated apparition areas or leave their nearby camping grounds or b&b rooms before the sun had even started to rise on saturday the 8th of july. anyone content with a slightly less impressive view of the reunited band is able to turn up a little later in the day, with people trickling in at a steady rate the minute that gates officially opened. there are food stalls and merch stands and people handing ponchos out to anyone who didn’t bring one because the sun was meant to stay shining all day and ultimately let them down, and there’s palpable excitement hanging in the air - everyone present, be they milling around inside the barrier or sitting on picnic blankets outside, feels the promise of new music and a longer term reunion.  IN LONDON : elsewhere, press have had a field day reporting on the unlucky coincidence that sees SPELLBOUND! ( a musical that was written about the late celestina warbeck and starring selina halkirk in the main role ) open on the exact same night as the first reunion concert. it was three years ago - almost to the day - that miss warbeck was murdered by walden macnair for daring to raise money via benefit concert for a charity aimed at providing crucial aid to those afflicted with lycanthropy, a tragedy that just happened to occur on the eve of the weird sisters final show. no doubt the wix in charge of organising both felt the importance of this time of year, but there are plenty of people who feel one or the other should’ve pushed their performance out of respect.  the show is undeniably a masterpiece that took the last two years to perfect, but tickets for the opening night of the musical haven’t sold out just yet, but they’re not far off it - the wwn has been giving them out as competition prizes all week, and even so, plenty of hardcore fans will be in attendance regardless. the daily prophet reported that the minister of magic and his lovely wife will be watching from one of the private booths ( and have made quite a large donation to said charity, too, though how someone on the outside of the karkaroff family circle managed to guess the exact number of figures in said donation is impossible to say ), making it an event that a number of highly influential families across britain feel they should at least show their faces at - that side of the guestlist including FLAVIA SCRIMGEOUR, minister hopeful. in addition to a small portion of the price of admission going to the same charity that celestina last backed, performers will head into the crowds during intermission and accept any further donations that kind souls ( or people looking for an instant good karma buff ) might want to add. 

OUT OF CHARACTER :

in a way, we’ve come full circle ! three years ago, we waved goodbye to the weird sisters on the exact same night that celestina warbeck was murdered at our very FIRST big, big event - the benefit concert launched us into a totally new era of nox and really set the tone for how the rp ended up continuing, in the best of ways. i feel like i’ll always want to memorialise her in various ways because i kind of feel as if i sacrificed her for something great and thus kinda owe the lady something, but i wanted this to be a nox classic as much as it is a sort of remembrance ceremony for her ! the benefit concert & weird sisters combo was also our very first double event, so here we are again, enjoying yet another ! it’s entirely up to you which event your character/s choose to attend, though they can each only attend one. just like the original duo three years ago, some of your characters may have been forced to choose between the event they actually WANTED to attend and the one that their boss highly encouraged that they make an appearance at, and for some that decision has not come easy. please feel free to get as involved as you want to and really explore the various levels to each event - you aren’t isolated to the performances at either one and can set your threads wherever and whenever you like ! 

the event officially begins with the posting of this message and will run for two weeks, right up to the 18th of july. the in game date is technically the 7th through the 9th of july - at least for concertgoers - though both events are taking place on the 8th.

you do not have to pause your current threads, provided that threads taking place over the course of the event are appropriately tagged and differentiated from them. this is a dash & discord hybrid event and you can find categories for both the concert and the musical on the side discord.

all event related starters can be tagged with nox.event035 ! the locations are the hogsmeade moors for the concert and diagon alley for the musical. 

if you have any questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to message the main with them ! please comment something nice about celestina warbeck on this post to show you’ve read it !

[charlezarrd]

Thanks for taking the time to answer my question. So there are other changes you say would benefit SEED? Do tell, please. I like reading your thoughts on the series.

Aw, thanks Anon! It’s nice to have someone who listens when I ramble, which… I do for a lot of things, not just Gundam.

But, down to brass tacks:

SEED’s plot structure is, at least at first, intended to very closely mimic 0079. In general, if I wanted to rewrite SEED, with the same overall themes and values, what I would do is start from the beginning and not do that.

I’d keep some of the same elements, the same characters overall, Rau’s general character, the friendship between Kira and Athrun, etc. All the things that make SEED the way it is. What I’d remove are some of the things that push it too closely into the territory of 0079, like Kira entering earth in the Strike.

Gundam SEED, I think shines most clearly when it starts stepping out into its own space, and when it does that, it does it really well.

I’m gonna take this prompt as more of me trying to revise the story rather than start over from the top, since I think that would be more interesting to read and less effort. (I have studying I need to be doing…) This is also, in addition to other changes I’ve brought up in your earlier ask.

First major change, I’d rewrite Rau in the first third or maybe half of the story. Basically, he’s a very compelling character, once you get past the initial period where he’s just a char clone but incompetent. In the anime, the reveal of what he’s actually after is absolutely fantastic, and I love that this sets him apart from other char clones, in that he is a product of pure trauma and hate.

I’d foreshadow that reveal more early on. A good reveal is one that half of the viewers see coming, and I think Rau being more cryptic and menacing early on leading up to that would make his first impression a lot more powerful. (now, if only he weren’t named after a high-end cookware mall store…)

Second Change: I’d focus more on how varying people survive instead of using jump cuts and non-sequitors.

I’m serious, how the heck does Kira survive the Aegis exploding at point blank? And then suddenly, jump cut to Lacus’ villa on one of the PLANTs. How the heck did he get there? Astray tries to explain this, but really only creates another loose end as Lowe finds Kira post-explosion, and for some reason his first instinct is “Oh yeah bring him into space, to that Idol girl’s place!”

I thought initially, that this was a case of Cross Rays stripping out details, but no. It’s just as jarring a transition in the anime, if not worse.

Waldfeldt (i keep spelling that wrong, i think) does this too. His BuCUE explodes with him and his wife/lover/??? inside, and then he just shows up again later, on the other side, and the woman is never mentioned. And he’s also just totally cool with Kira after that?

I’d have him have rigged the scenario. Basically, instead of him dying here, he fakes his own death. Foreshadow this during the talk with kira, that he has reservations about ZAFT, and then After the explosion, we get shown something that shows he and his ladyfriend are still alive, and this was his plan the entire time. (I’m serious, this goofball has mad skills, on par with Vash The Stampede, his death made no fucking sense)

Next, I would make the boosted men more sympathetic. Think about it. They’ve been taken from their families, had their identities scrubbed from the system, and stripped down to soulless killing machines, forced to become addicted to performance-enhancing drugs against their will.

That’s a tragedy in the making. I’d humanize them more, but also make it so that their situation is so fucked that the only way out for them is to die. (Hell, i might even be tempted to foreshadow the Extended in Destiny, and have them pick fights they know they can’t win on purpose during the final battle so they get killed)

Final change, the newtype thing with Flay at the end. Get it out. Take it away. It doesn’t make any sense in context.

If you want to do something SIMILAR as a metaphor, here’s what I’d do instead:

Earlier, Kira and Athrun reconcile things, personally. They talk about Tolle and Nicol. Instead of making a connection to Flay directly, Kira imagines himself talking to all the people that died as a result of Rau’s actions, starting with flay, and ending on Nicol.

This would make Rau’s death mirroring Nicol’s so closely so much more satisfying I think.

Anyway, thats a list of my thoughts currently. Just some opinions I have, though.

[sheactress]

what lily likes about ricky, a post. 

so here’s the thing, this isn’t exhaustive, and this is probably the first of who knows how many posts, but it’s something i ought to talk about regardless. 

lily’s a bit of a manipulative witch who can kinda get lost in it all, ala olivia’s interview with andrew, but she’s also a teenage girl with a crush on a boy. that’s how she sees the character, and that’s what i’m going with when i write her. she’s trying to succeed with the show in the way she’s being told she should... and she really does like ricky and she wants to be with him. even if she knows it’s maybe a little unrealistic for her to think he’d reciprocate her feelings... 

but she likes him. she really does like him. she’s not a monster- she’s a girl. 

and one might say, hannah, what do you mean she likes him? does she even know him? 

but i mean for starters- she thinks he’s cute, and potentially has since she’s seen him in hsm as troy bolton. she seems so excited to meet him in the cafeteria, and while part of that’s a part of her whole tiara gold thing she has going, it’s also cute because i think a part of her is actually excited to meet the cast- since she’s planning on joining them this semester. she doesn’t know what she’s getting herself into though... 

but to get into the things that i’m actually here to discuss, she may not know him particularly well when they start interacting properly in 207, but she clearly hears about him at least from howie... the mole... and what does lily see in ricky even before they talk on facetime in 210?

to me the biggest thing that draws lily to ricky is that he’s someone who gets to have both. he gets to be the shining star, the talent, the lead, and everyone around him is happy for him, they like him, they’re all friends with him and support him (it’s certainly more complicated at east high than she can see from the outside though, given how the cast actually is with ricky during season two...) she’s never been able to have that. her life is about putting her star out there and shining- and attracting a following from her talent. that’s the value- that’s how you succeed. that’s what she’s always been taught her whole life long. 

he gets to do both. she wants that more than she could ever know or recognize before she knows him. she never knew it was an option really before ricky bowen. he asks her what on earth they could possible have in common in 210, but to her- them being the leads in their respective shows is something in common like nothing else is. and well- she sees him in his position as such a good leading man and she wants to be able to carry her leading role the way he does his. 

no one likes her in her cast. she knows that. she expresses as much to ricky in 210. i mean it probably doesn’t help that she’s not just starring in the show but co-directing alongside a director who’s likely quite the tyrant. i highly doubt she has much power, but she’s put up like someone who does. it doesn’t lend towards others liking her. plus- when he brings up the golden rule you can see in her eyes she has definitely never heard of that before. that’s not manipulation it’s real curiosity and desire to have better for herself. 

she genuinely sees so much good in him- and so much talent in him- and tbh i think her validating him the way she does (whether in 207, 209, or 211), is a benefit to his character that the show could’ve done a lot more with if they chose to carry further their storyline. 

but when we get to 211... she finds out he’s like her even more than she could’ve ever known. she sees that interaction between his dad and miss jenn and she clocks immediately what’s going on and i’m so completely sure it throws her for a bit of a loop because oh gosh... he’s more than just a good performer who was able to really help me build rapport with my cast which- is such an amazing feeling... he’s dealing with something that i’ve been dealing with for a long time now... and we actually have something pretty big in common... something well- oh now i actually might be able to return the favor, and help him with something in return. 

so even when he’s already rejected her offer to go out for pizza and talk some more, she decides in 212, after the show’s over, that despite her following through and participating in the harness theft (my canon has the north high kids collectively taking it for zacky roy, she’s a pawn in an adult’s game, and tbh the show doesn’t directly rule this out)... with nothing else to gain from him- she asks ricky out again. she puts herself out there a second time, knowing she might get rejected again, and tells him straight up she likes him and his big brown eyes and his big round hair (she truly does not know how to speak, more on that later)... 

and what lily likes about him is yeah he’s a cute boy but... it’s more than that for her- and even when she has nothing to gain and a broken heart to lose, she still wants to try one last time in case she never has another. and she thinks wow- i might actually have something of a connection with this boy if he lets me show him my heart... since he’s the only person i’ve even begun to start to open it up to in a long time. and he does shoot her down- at least mostly... but then he calls her... and honestly when lily gets that call i think that’s the giddiest she’s been in a very long time... 

and i will also say this, beyond ricky- lily really wants what the wildcats appear to have. she wants to be loved... by others. she wants to be a part of a family. but i mean even in 202 when she comes to the auditions no one makes the effort with her. she’s not expecting them to- she’s never gotten it from anyone before, but sitting on the outside of it- she does wish she could have that camaraderie regardless. 

[helisol]

dude im not sure you will get it after reading this either, but you Can read it now

okay so first of all do not expect me to adhere to rules of grammar or Proper capitalisation, I am writing from the heart

so it’s been said before by other people but if Quark and Odo didnt look like the aliens that they are but instead like two regular prettybois the fandom would do cartwheels over their dynamic and Not call them a crack ship. because really, their dynamic fucking SLAPS and I’m here to tell you Why.

their surface-level dynamic is “Respected and Talented Security Chief and Cunning Immoral Businessman who are in Love but pretend not to be” and that's just an off-brand version of enemies to lovers! which is excellent and for some people that’s all you really need to get invested in a ship.

but some people look at it and go “Hm, no, that’s not enough. I mean, they work as friends but it doesn’t really have to be romantic.” and to that I say you are Absolutely Valid, not everything has to be romantic.

it just so happens that these two fuckers have one of the most compelling romance stories ever, and it’d be a shame not to explore it.

so before I dive into the internalised homophobia and repression, I’d like to take a moment to talk about Quark as a character.

because if you have brainworms like me you can kind of see that its an honest to god greek tragedy.

this guy comes from a race of people where being kind, ethical and fair is considered Abnormal and Horrifying. and I’m not gonna call Quark out of all people kind, ethical or fair but,,, 

you ever notice how he’s A Much Better Person Than Pretty Much All Other Ferengi?

dont get me wrong, Quark is still a bastard, but every once in a while his True Character shines through. and I say True Character because guys,,, the way he behaves around other people is an Act. he’s pretending to be something he’s not.

he has to try so hard to be a good ferengi it’s honestly painful to watch at times. because he is a SHIT ferengi! 

he loves his friends- because that's what the ds9 crew are. they’re his friends! and it makes him miserable because that's not! normal! for a ferengi!

let’s compare Quark and Rom for a second. 

Quark reeks of self loathing because a lot of the time he just Doesn’t act like a ferengi is supposed to, and this drives a lot of conflict in the show. he knows how a ferengi should act, it’s just that he can’t!! fucking!! do it!! but he still tries and tries to fit into that mold, which straight up ruins his life on multiple occasions.

Rom is also not a Model Ferengi, but he lives without hating himself. and it’s mostly because he doesn’t care about how a ferengi Should act, he’s loved and cared for even when everybody knows that he’s a shit ferengi! because his non-ferengi-ness works to his benefit. it encourages and highlights his abilities as an engineer. the success and love he finds make it easy for him to be content with his true self. Unlike Quark, who doesn’t get unconditional love from anyone.

its so!! tragic!! because you can see what Quark is really like!! his true self!! he’s a nice guy who cares for people!

its right there all the time and it's so blatantly obvious. especially in episodes like “Body Parts”, “Bar Association”, “The Way Of The Warrior” and “Ferengi Love Songs”

his own wiki page literally calls him “a compassionate and generous man by ferengi standards” which pretty much translates to “not really a good ferengi”.

anyway so Quark is a tragic figure or whatever but we’re actually here for the REPRESSED! HOMOSEXUAL! TENDENCIES! that he and Odo both exhibit.

with characters like garak you don’t really need to have brainrot to pick up on those tendencies, because that was something andrew robinson chose to do, on purpose. 

and to be fair, Quark wasn’t intended to be Any kind of representation, not even by the actor. I’m just pointing out that he Does look and act and talk like a little gayman.

I will admit that he is Painfully Straight in the text of the show, but on a meta level he’s just. a dude who has a serious case of repressing his real personality. and taking it a step further- he also represses his feelings towards another man.

and that man is Odo.

a few things on him:

Odo is literally desperate to be a person. unlike Quark, who at least has the comfort of belonging to a society of people with a set of rules and expectations, Odo has never met anyone or anything like him in all his years of life.

like, we all know Odo basically grew up in a lab, right? 

with people who didn’t know anything about him. who he was so unalike that they literally called him “Nothing”

but he still learned to look and talk and act like them (because if he didn’t he’d feel *pain* which is very fucked up by the way?)

so we know for a fact that Odo wants to be recognised as a person- which is why he tries really hard to conform to the ideals of the society that raised him. instead of exploring his nature as a shape shifter he maintains a humanoid form, picks up a job and creates an entire personality around what he wants to be seen as. but not what he really is.

and that's the thing that causes all the conflict between Quark and Odo. the type of person odo wants to be seen as is the polar opposite of whatever the fuck quark wants to be seen as.

In the same way that Quark acts like a Normal Ferengi, Odo acts like a Normal Security Officer.  and in a cruel twist of fate, the Ferengi happens to be the antithesis of the Security Officer.

If you only look at them as the things they act like, and not the things they are, you might say they’re way too different to like each other, right? 

but,,, if you think about the fact that they’re both putting on this act,,, this performance of idealised versions of themselves,,, you can see that they are The Same. They Are Both Gay Repressed Loser Aliens Who Try To Act Like Things That They Aren’t!

Imagine you’re Odo. 

Imagine that you’re Nothing, because you’re not like anything anyone has ever seen- and because you are Nothing you don’t fall in love with anyone for years and years. since who could love something that isn’t like them at all?

But then one day this Thing shows up in your path and you just hate it. Because it’s not like anything *you* have ever seen. It’s disorderly and looks grotesque and it’s criminal to boot.

It’s all the things you learned would make a “Bad Person” It’s everything you aspire not to be, because if you were any of those things you would BE PUNISHED.

But the trouble is, eventually he’s not an “it” anymore, he’s “Quark” and you see him every day of your miserable little life because you live on the same damn station in space and it’s hard to avoid each other.

He also happens to be one of the only things in your life that are constant. He will never leave because he is stubborn and greedy and you just *hate him so much* that you’re convinced he must be doing all of it to spite you. And yet you also can’t seem to leave him alone.

So Odo Must Hate Quark. everything else is a non sequitur for him. he can’t not hate Quark.

because Quark is, and i’m sincerely sorry to apply christian fucking imagery to this, The Forbidden Fruit.

If he liked quark he’d admit some kind of moral failing. it would be the end of his act. but on the other hand...it might be a good thing, because at least he could have quark.

but Odo can never go through with biting into this apple because the consequences are horrifying to him. he could never have quark because, according to his performance, he would Never like quark to begin with.

and here’s a take for you: Odo's Brand Of Internalised Homophobia Doesn't Stem From Heteronormativity. It Stems From The Fact That He Was Kind Of Assigned Asexual At Birth.

and the show sort of alludes to this, for real! not just subtext! canon! except the writers used the wrong person. 

because instead of Odo having these Forbidden Feelings for Quark he has them for,,, Kira.

but since this is My Quodo Manifesto you’ll understand that i am 100% willing to just toss that part of canon out the airlock.

so Odo does canonically have that mindset of “no one could ever love me”  for decades he repressed any and all feelings of love to avoid getting hurt. in the show he breaks this cycle of repression when he takes a chance and enters a relationship with Kira. yay?

but we all know that aint it chief. and part of the reason why That Ship Ain’t It is the fact that Quark is Right There. and he is simply the more interesting choice for odo.

he and Odo literally share the same problem and have weird intertwined character arcs! they are both dreadfully afraid of not conforming to the ideal versions of themselves, so they reject everything that could challenge their Performance!

on some fucked up level they hate each other *and* themselves individually. and this hatred makes them reject parts of their real identities for the sake of protecting their image. which. yknow. in gay people. is internalised homophobia!

so you can see that they’re both repressing A Lot even if you view them as Friends, but the most important thing in this kind of romantic dynamic is usually,,, when the characters *stop* repressing.

and the thing is. the thing that Kills Me with these two. They Never Get That Moment. Thats Why You Need The Brainrot To See Them As Romantic.

The Ascent gives us an example of what happens when they both take their act too far. I mean, who could forget “Fascist!” and “Fraud!” That is what odo thinks of quark’s performance and vice versa, but we don’t really hear them adress the fact that they *are* playing these roles to a ridiculous extent.

We also never get an example of what would happen if they dropped their act instead of over-performing it. or rather we don’t get to see both of them drop it.

And the reason why we never get that moment is because there’s this one key difference between Quark and Odo. 

Quark knows that he’s constantly repressing his true nature and his feelings for odo. We pretty much hear him say so in the iconic root beer scene in Way Of The Warrior. he knows that he’s not a good ferengi but he keeps up his act.

So quark is aware enough to feel that sweet sweet self loathing. But Odo isnt self loathing as much as he is just self sabotaging.

and this subtle difference between them is why, at the very end of the show, we get “That man loves me, can’t you see? It was written all over his back!”

this moment is quark dropping his act and asking odo to do the same. he wants to hear a genuine Goodbye from him because they have known each other for Decades and they are Friends. but odo is so unable to express the feelings he’s been repressing all these years. that he self sabotages again and just walks away.

even though this is like. very anticlimactic. considering I just spent 2000 words talking about how Odo and Quark are Most Certainly Gay For Each Other.

The fact that their ending is so Weird is the reason why quodo is so engaging and appealing to me? especially post-canon quodo.

like, the amount of “what if’s” this ship has are Astounding.

What if either of them had dropped their act a little sooner? What if they both did, for just a moment, and it was the straw that breaks the camels back?

What if Odo comes back after a few years? What if Quark comes to get him?

What if, in that moment in the finale where Quark drops his act, Odo had returned the gesture? What if Gag-Reel Quodo Kiss.gif Real?

with the depth that I read into their relationship, those what ifs are really fun to think about.

anyway its 1 am and i’m not an english major so literary analysis is not like, my strong suit. plus most of this was written in a late night screaming session with a friend who has the exact same opinions as me. i just think aliens hot and in love. thats all.

[crimsonheart01]

I Promise (Angel Reyes x Female!Reader)

A/N: Shout out to one of my day ones @chaosinourbones​ for this request! Love you boo!! It’s been a hot minute since I wrote for my other tall boy. Let’s hope I do him a world of justice. Enjoy some angsty fluff with our boy! 

Prompt: 22. “How can you possibly look good with snow in your hair?”

Word Count: 2.3K words

Playlist: I’ll Be Home - Meghan Trainor [Spotify] [YouTube]

Warnings: None (surprisingly) 

"I'll find my way back home And light up every tree We will hang our stockings for you and one for me 'Cause Santa called to make sure I'm prepared He said, 'Pack your bags and tell them you'll be late'" I'll Be Home – Meghan Trainor

He checked the time on his phone once last time before reaching out for the double doors in front of him. He shook his head in disappointment at himself. He hadn't meant to lose track of time, but he had a hard time coming up with an excuse to slip away from the boys. Irritated with himself, he closed his eyes for a moment before gripping the handle tightly and propping the door open. He ducked into the gymnasium as quietly as possible. He thanked whatever gods there were that the whole room was covered in darkness, allowing him to post up against the wall unnoticed.

He gazed around, taking note of the varying ages of those in the audience. He smiled. The turnout was amazing. He knew how important this project was and how much effort she'd given to it. Seeing how many people came out brought out a feeling of pride for his community. This was what holidays were supposed to be like.

Tucking his hands into his pockets, he felt the sensation of someone watching. Turning his head, he found his Pops watching him with a keen eye. He smirked at the old man and nodded in greeting. They both turned back to the front of the gym as the lights on the stage flickered between reds and whites. He grinned at the spectacle of the moment.

The stage had been decked out in a perfect replica of a winter wonderland. No doubt to set the scene. He watched as dozens of kids lined the stage and began to sing out loud and proud. He couldn't stop the chills that covered his arms and the broad smile that grew. It wasn't every day that they got to see a production of this stature. It didn't matter that it was just the local community center's holiday concert. Seeing everyone come together to put it on was where the real magic was.

He leaned back into the wall, getting comfortable and enjoying himself. He knew he'd missed the first half of the performances, but he was happy to say that he'd been here for the second bit. It was better than not making it all, a promise he made sure he kept. His gaze roamed over the crowd, and he spotted her almost immediately.

He held back a chuckle at her outfit. She had chosen to go the authentic route with a long-sleeved Henley shirt and puffer vest. He noted the thick wool mittens she wore and the matching wool headband. There was no doubt in his mind that she was sweating, even with the air conditioning pumping through the vents. She took no shortcuts, always going that extra mile to make sure everything fit the scene.

He watched as she mimed the dance moves to the kids, keeping them in step. He let out a quiet sigh as he appreciated her. They were still relatively new in their status, but he knew she was the one. At least, he hoped so. Maybe it was the time of year that had him feeling this way, but he couldn't help but want to parade her around town. Show her off to everyone and anyone.

He'd yet to properly introduce her to the club, unsure of how it'd go. She was nearly a polar opposite of everything that they were. She was his angel. He rolled his eyes as he made the comparison. She should have his name, not him. In his opinion, she was much too good for him. He still couldn't fathom why she gave him the time of day in the first place, but he wasn't going to question it too much. He had her now, and that's what mattered the most.

The concert continued, and he watched with a strong emotion of pride the entire time for her and their community. They did it! They pulled it off. When the finale finally hit, he stood up to his full height and clapped along with everyone else, even letting out a few good-natured hollers in her honour. Once everyone was back up on stage, taking a bow, confetti and fake snow began floating all around them. The crowd roared with awe and wonder.

He found himself staring at her, melting at the smile she was sporting while she stood there. She'd outdone herself. Everyone would be talking about this night for weeks to come.

He kept himself sparse as the auditorium emptied. Finding an available seat off to the side and stretching his legs out in front of him, all while he admired her from afar. He wasn't interested in interrupting her, not while she was being congratulated by everyone, young and old. He carried around a specific reputation, and he wasn't ready to sully hers.

He ran a hand through his hair, knowing full well she'd tell him he was ridiculous. She never saw a problem with who he was. She knew he lived a very different life, that there was a lot of danger in his way, but she didn't believe that reputations determined who they were. He wanted to believe her, but there was always that voice in the back of his mind telling him otherwise, telling him that it was too good to be true and to take advantage of what he had with her before it was gone.

He was broken out of his thoughts by a hand resting on his shoulder. He glanced up to see Pops watching him and where his eyes had been glued a moment before.

"This who you've been hiding?" Felipe surmised.

Angel furrowed his brow, "No one's hiding anything."

Felipe stared at his son, his eyes telling him that he understood the situation exactly. Angel scoffed and shrugged the old man's hand off him. He shook his head and swallowed, attempting to ignore the sympathy in his father's gaze. Felipe took the hint and took a step back. Both men looked back up to the first row of seats, where she was standing and speaking animatedly with a few parents.

With a deep inhale, Felipe nodded and turned, "Give yourself the benefit of the doubt."

Angel clenched his teeth at the words of advice, annoyed at his father’s perceptiveness, but nodded his head as his father walked away. He wasn't hiding her, far from it. He was keeping her safe, at least that's what he was trying to convince himself of.

~(MMC)~

She'd spotted him as she took the stage in the encore and was overjoyed that he made it. She knew there was always a chance that he'd get caught up with the club, but she was happy to see that he found a way to make the event.

As the night wound down, she found herself expecting him to seek her out but instead, she found herself tugged from person to person while he kept his distance. She sighed internally, knowing that he was still in a questioning stage of their relationship. She'd hoped that by now, he'd understand that she wasn't afraid of him or who he was. She knew people had their own opinions, but she knew him better than them. That's what mattered to her. Him. Not everyone else and their beliefs.

She breezed through the stragglers wanting to get their thanks in, and in no time, it was just her and the lone Mayan in the gym. She stood facing the double doors, flattening her palms against each one, ensuring that they were closed. She heard the creak of the chair as he stood up and listened to his footfalls as he went. It took her a minute to realize he was walking away from her by the echo of his footsteps.

Creasing her eyebrows together, she spun around only to endeared by him further. He'd taken that moment to approach the stage and take in the full effect of the décor. She let out a small chuckle as she watched him run his hand through the mess of confetti and snow on the platform. He pulled his hand back and brushed his hands together to rid himself of the flakes.

She took stock of him as she stepped down the middle aisle, noting that he'd chosen to leave the kutte out of his outfit for the evening. It touched her in a way she wasn't expecting. She knew how much the club meant to him that it was his life. The fact that he chose to appear as something different for her production had her chest swell with emotion.

As she neared him, she reached out and toyed with the sleeve of his flannel. Her touch was light but enough to alert him to her presence.

"You made it." She smiled up at him.

He turned towards her and immediately slung his around her shoulders, pulling her into his side.

"I promised, didn't I?" He quipped, but she could hear a subtle tone of frustration. 

Not wanting to dwell on anything negative, see pressed a quick kiss to his cheek before linking her around his and pulled him in the direction of the steps leading onto the stage, "Come on, take a closer look at everything."

They ascended the stairs together, and she talked him through all the details of the decorations and set up. He kept up with her, asking a few questions here and there but for the most part just admiring the whole thing. She lead him to the middle of the stage, where the spotlight was still shining. Slipping her arm out from around his, she pointed up to where the blankets that held the snow were housed.

They both looked up as she explained how they managed to get it to float instead of just dumping it down on top of everyone. She even chuckled as she noted there were still a few swirls coming down. When she turned back around to face him, she laughed. He arched an eyebrow at her, and she stepped in closer to him. She grinned at him, and he couldn't help but respond in kind.

Reaching up, she thread two fingers through his hair, "How can you possibly look good with snow in your hair?"

His eyes shot upwards even though he knew he wouldn't be able to see what she saw. Her fingers daintily plucked out a few of the fake snow pieces, and she let them crowd the palm of her hand. She held it out for him to see, and he chuckled. He lifted his hand to cover hers, twining their fingers together. She smiled down at the sight.

Using his other hand, he lightly tapped underneath her chin, signalling her to look up. She accepted the gesture and glanced up at him. His dark eyes reflected the bright lights above them and took her breath away. His thumb brushed across her chin, and she bit down on her lip as he licked his. He bowed forward slightly as if he was waiting for her to deny him before clearing the distance between them and pressing his lips to hers.

His kiss was tentative giving her a chance to react to him. She smiled against his mouth and fell into him. She caressed one hand up the center of his chest before fisting the fabric of his shirt in her hand. At her reaction, he let go of all his hesitance and dipped her back, pushing everything he was feeling into their embrace. She clutched at his upper arm with her other hand and let him hold her in his arms.

There was a strong need in his kiss. His passion seeing itself through and making itself known. She poured herself into the moment, wanting him to feel everything she was experiencing by being here with him. He made a small noise at the back of his throat, and it sent a wild thrum through, causing her to hold him tighter. She wanted him to know how much she cared for him. All of him. Everything that he came with.  

Losing himself in the moment, he pulled her back up, their heated connection lost for a moment and spun her around. The remnants of the snow swirled around their feet, and she laughed at the momentum. This was her Angel. This was the man she'd fallen in love with. As the dust settled back around them, she looped her arms around his shoulders, resting her head against his chest.

The sounds of the janitorial staff broke them out of their spell. With a sigh, she loosened her arms around his shoulders and looked towards the doors. Her arms fell away from him, but she made sure to catch one of his hands in hers. She led him off the stage and towards the front of the room.

"I only need to pass over the keys and discuss the finalities with the clean-up crew, and then we can get outta here, alright?" She glanced over her shoulder back at him.

He grinned back at her and nodded, "Sounds good querida."

He tugged her back to him before she was able to break away and kissed her soundly. She felt his smile through the kiss. She pulled back and gave him one last chaste kiss before spinning around to talk to the staff that had shown up. However, she made sure to never let go of his hand as she did so. He was hers, and she was his. Everyone was going to know. She'd make sure of that.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Samira, the Desert Rose build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Jessica 'OwleyCat' Oyhenart. Made for Riot Games.)

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Still fucking hate this champ but her theme still slaps.

The eternal joke of me putting off making a build for Samira is finally over, though ironically enough my distain for this champ has only grown overtime. Jesus fucking Christ Rito can you nerf this champ’s goddamn damage? Like nerfing her lifesteal is nice and all but it doesn’t mean shit when my dumbfuck teammates picked 4 assassins into her and I’m the only one who can CC her as a Lulu.

Ah well: Samira still definitely fills a fantasy everyone wants, being a badass with sword and gun styling on the competition. Devil May Cry? Yeah I suppose Samira would be pretty good in a campaign against Fiends.

GOALS

You want style? You've found her - Smile, Sweet, Sister, Sadistic; we’ll need to Surprise the Service with Style to Spare. Sssssssssssssssssamira.

Eyes up! - We’ll need to be everywhere at once, dashing and dancing around the battlefield so no one can lock us down.

Showtime! - When push comes to shove it’s time to speeeeeeeeeen~

RACE

Samira is human no matter what the meta might dictate, and for once in my life I actually want something particular from Variant Human. But firstly: you can increase two Ability Scores of your choice by 1: increase both Dexterity and Wisdom for sharp sight and sharper shots. You also get a skill of your choice and a language of your pleasing. For your skill take Slight of Hand for flips and other gun tricks, and for your language Infernal will be good for your Inferno Trigger.

Again: we came to Variant Human land for a Feat because two guns are better than one. The Crossbow Expert Feat will give you a variety of benefits: no need to reload (or at least the ability to ignore the Loading property), no disadvantage in melee range... But most importantly if you fire a Hand Crossbow (which will be working as our handgun in this build) you can fire it again as a Bonus Action! "Well! Look at you."

ABILITY SCORES

15; DEXTERITY - Dexterity is tied to both shooting and backflips.

14; CHARISMA - Who needs a military license when you’ve got style?

13; WISDOM - Wisdom measures how in-tune you are with the world around you, and you need heightened senses not to die doing stupid shit.

12; CONSTITUTION - Most of Samira’s sustain comes from Lifesteal but we won’t really be able to get lifesteal, so just focus on not dying really.

10; STRENGTH - It takes a lot of upper body strength to do the stuff that Samira does but Riot isn’t about to make another Illaoi.

8; INTELLIGENCE - Your primary goal is to do things as recklessly and dangerously as possible... “for the Vine” as the kids say. Vine shut down ages ago!

BACKGROUND

Samira is a mercenary. I wonder if there’s a background for that... hey look at that Mercenary Veteran in the Sword Coast Adventurer’s Guide! You get proficiency in Athletics and Persuasion as well as Ground Vehicles and a gaming set of your choice. But of course the main benefit of being a mercenary is the Mercenary Life. You can easily identify other mercenaries and know bits and pieces of their lives. You can also easily find work by hanging around taverns and such until Captain Indari passes on some info to you.

(Artwork made for Riot Games)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ROGUE 1

Starting off as a Rogue because I like skill proficiencies! Skills like Acrobatics, Perception, Insight, and Performance; you were a street performer once! You also get Expertise in two of those skills: Acrobatics and Athletics are necessary to be everywhere at once.

You can chat in Noxian military code thanks to Thieves’ Cant, but c’mon that’s not what we’re here for. We’re here for Sneak Attack! If an enemy is distracted or you have advantage you can stick a d6 where the sun don’t shine!

LEVEL 2 - ROGUE 2

Second level Rogues get Cunning Action, letting them Dash, Disengage, or Hide as a Bonus Action. Dance around the battlefield like an Olympic gymnast... does Runeterra have the Olympics?

LEVEL 3 - ROGUE 3

Third level Rogues get to choose their Roguish Archetype: to be the queen of style and also make people think you’re from Bilgewater (yeah I get it; it’s because of the eyepatch) look no further than the Swashbuckler subclass. Swashbucklers get two abilities at level 1 but honestly it’s more like three abilities: Rakish Audacity will let you add your Charisma modifier to initiative rolls so you can get into fights fast, and will also let you Sneak Attack anyone who’s beside you. I’d consider it less like you sneak attacking them and more like you slashing them with your sword. Oh and speaking of Sneak Attack? That increases to 2d6 now.

Speaking of sword slashing: Fancy Footwork is the mobile feat! Well, it makes it so that after you try to make a melee attack against an enemy you can move away without provoking opportunity attacks. It’s a little weird to run around with a sword in one hand and a gun in the other but you can easily slash at someone before backflipping away and running off to shoot them next turn!

(Artwork by @Aruneeko on Twitter)

LEVEL 4 - BARD 1

You didn’t think we’d be settling for just one class, did you? It’s time to go Bard; the masters of style! Bards get another skill proficiency at level 1 because why not be good at everything? Grab Medicine proficiency because it’s good to know how to bandage yourself up when living a dangerous lifestyle. “On my worst behavior." You also get a musical instrument and you know that I’ll always opt for good ol’ Noxian War Drums.

Bards get Bardic Inspiration, letting them show off their awesomeness so that awesomeness radiates onto their allies to give them a d6 to attack rolls, ability checks, and saving throws. You’ve got a number of these equal to your Charisma modifier, and regain them at the end of a Long Rest. For now, at least.

And of course while you may be all guns your style makes it look like Spellcasting... because it is. Bards get 2 cantrips and 4 spells at level 1:

CANTRIPS

Prestidigitation will let you put all the visual flair you could want on your moves, and more!

If you wanna walk the walk you’ve gotta talk the talk, and Vicious Mockery will let you talk smack so hard they can’t hit back! "Keep the change; you're gonna need it."

SPELLS

Magic is usually dangerous, and danger is usually fun! Take Detect Magic to see where that danger may be!

If you need some space in a pinch Thunderwave will give yourself some peel.

Steel yourself to do something crazy with Heroism, which will also give you a bit of a shield to do so!

You are still technically working for Noxus so it would be good to Identify anything important... or valuable... For safe keeping of course!

LEVEL 5 - BARD 2

Second level Bards truly are good at everything thanks to Jack of All Trades, letting you add half your proficiency bonus to any skill you don’t have proficiency in. You probably noticed that we already have proficiency in a silly amount of skills but I’m not going to say no to MORE!

After dangerous stunts it’s good to cool off with a Song of Rest, letting you help your crew with a d6 of healing during short rests to bandage up those wounds.

And of course: more spells! Faerie Fire will let you light ‘em up to get advantage, which will make it easier to sneak attack!

LEVEL 6 - BARD 3

Third level Bards get Expertise in two more skills: Perception will help you spot danger and Medicine will help you after dealing with danger.

But of course what we’re mainly here for is your Bardic College and in order to be too cool for school go for the College of Swords. You get some Bonus Proficiencies that don’t really matter but what does matter is you can use your sword to cast spells instead of a drum! Additionally you get a choice of Fighting Style and Dueling will make your sword swings do more damage if you swing it with one hand. I guess it’s worth mentioning that while a rapier would do the most damage a scimitar is the only finesse weapon that does slashing? (Excluding whips.)

But the main feature we’re here for is Blade Flourish which despite the name does also work with your hand crossbows. When you attack your movement speed increases by 10 feet as you charge up that Daredevil Impulse. If you hit with your shot however you can make a Blade Flourish (which again works with your hand crossbows?) of your choice from the following list:

Defensive Flourish does extra damage and also increases your AC as you dodge incoming projectiles.

Slashing Flourish will let you cleave with your sword (and just your sword because it only works on nearby enemies.)

Mobile Flourish will let you chase after a fleeing foe... after pushing them. But after shoving them into danger you can use your reaction to dive right in!

You can only use one Blade Flourish per turn which will matter later. As for what will matter now? Second level spells! Enhance Ability will help you give 110%!

LEVEL 7 - BARD 4

Heeey it’s about time we got an Ability Score Improvement! Our Dexterity has been lacking and you need that to fire straight!

Word of advice: if you know you aren’t going to level 20 feel free to get 4 levels in Rogue for the sake of the ASI.

You also get another spell, and another cantrip! For your cantrip Message is always good for keeping in team chat. For leveled spells Warding Wind does let you deflect nearby projectiles so... 

LEVEL 8 - BARD 5

5th level Bards get Font of Inspiration so their Bardic Inspiration die come back on a Short Rest, which is good because said Bardic Inspiration die also increases to a d8! Oh and when I say “Bardic Inspiration” I actually mean your Blade Flourish die. "If you can't keep up don't step up. I don't have time for fools."

And now third level spells are up on the table, but they all suck so take Mirror Image from the second level instead, which was added to the Bard spell list thanks to Tasha’s Cauldron of Everything!

(Artwork by GaMu-ChAn on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 9 - RANGER 1

Three way multiclass? Don’t mind if I do! You get an extra skill proficiency by multiclassing into Ranger, because why not. Take Survival because you’re clearly damn good at it since you’re still alive.

Rangers get Deft Explorer at level 1 because Natural Explorer sucks and Tasha’s made Ranger a good class! Canny lets you learn two languages (honestly just pick your poison) and get Expertise in another skill, because lord knows we don’t have enough of those. I know we just got Survival proficiency, but it’s good to be good at not dying! (As well as finding food.)

You also get Favored Foe at first level, because Favored Enemy smells. If you shoot someone you can legally-not-Hunter’s Mark them so they take a d4 of extra damage once per turn when you shoot them. You concentrate on it like a spell and it works a lot like the Hunter’s Mark spell but you have a limited number of uses equal to your proficiency bonus, instead of using your spell slots.

LEVEL 10 - RANGER 2

Heeey more Fighting Styles! You already improved your sword swings so take Archery for +2 to ranged attack rolls to ensure that you hit your shots.

Rangers also get Spellcasting, only this spellcasting works with your Wisdom instead of your Charisma! You learn two spells from the Ranger list: Jump will let you do some hardcore parkour because the Ranger spell list sucks and I’ve got nothing else to give you, and Cure Wounds will allow Samira to have some healing... as a treat.

LEVEL 11 - RANGER 3

Third level Rangers can choose their archetype and Hunters are masters at taking down their foes. You can choose a way to take down your Hunter’s Prey. Colossus Slayer is a fairly simple affair: if you shoot (or stab) someone who’s already hurt they take an extra d8 of damage. Though you can only apply that extra d8 once per turn.

You also learn another spell: Longstrider will help you move thanks to that Daredevil Impulse. 10 feet may not seem like much but remember that you get an extra 10 feet thanks to Blade Flourish and can dash to turn 50 feet into 100 feet of movement!

Oh and I also completely forgot about Primal Awareness, which replaces Primeval Awareness. You can Speak with Animals once per day! Maybe not in character, but it helps if you have a Yuumi!

LEVEL 12 - RANGER 4

4th level Rangers get an Ability Score Improvement: time to finally cap that Dexterity score for the most precise shots and deadly cuts possible!

(Artwork by Jennifer Wuestling. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 13 - RANGER 5

Total level 13 isn’t too late to get an Extra Attack, right? Well you can shoot twice now and mix some more Flair into your combos.

You can also learn second level spells now like Aid (ty Tasha’s) to let that adrenaline kick in so you feel no pain. Primal Awareness also gives you Beast Sense for a bit of covert Psy Ops.

LEVEL 14 - RANGER 6

6th level Rangers get Roving from Deft Explorer for 5 extra feet of movement along with a climbing speed and a swimming speed! Reminder that in combination with both Longstrider and Blade Flourish that increases to a whopping 55 movement speed, which means that you can Dash as a Bonus Action to move 110 feet in a turn! "Danger runs from me." Your Favored Foe mark also increases to a d6 of damage.

LEVEL 15 - RANGER 7

7th level Hunters learn some Defensive Tactics: while perhaps not the most useful since you have Heroism and all you’ve certainly got a Steel Will, giving you advantage against being frightened. “Death isn't the scariest thing; it's a mother's rage."

You can also learn another spell: Lesser Restoration can be helpful in a pinch if someone’s trying to slow you down. Or at least if they’re trying to blind, deafen, poison, or paralyze you.

LEVEL 16 - RANGER 8

8th level of Ranger means another Ability Score Improvement: Charisma means higher initiative rolls as well as more Blade Flourishes. Simply put Wisdom can’t beat style!

Oh yeah and you also get Land’s Stride to move through non-magical difficult terrain and plants without slowing down, and for advantage against magic plants. I legit forgot this was even a thing before seeing it on the character sheet.

(Artwork by dominaART on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 17 - RANGER 9

9th level Rangers get 3rd level spells like Conjure Barrage for some bullet rain; "My kind of rain!" Basically you shoot a bunch of bullets in a big cone, because Rangers get this instead of Fireball. Honestly something like Elemental Weapon (ty Tasha’s) would probably be better but we’re still sticking to flavor.

Oh and you can Speak with Plants thanks to Primal Awareness? Honestly these extra spells don’t fit at all but Primeval Awareness sucks. I’m literally adding these extra spells to the build last second.

LEVEL 18 - RANGER 10

10th level Rangers get Tireless from Deft Explorer. As an action, you can give yourself a Shieldbow shield for 1d8 + your Wisdom modifier in Temporary Hitpoints. You can do this a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest. Additionally: whenever you finish a short rest, your exhaustion level is decreased by 1. Because danger doesn’t wait!

You also get Nature’s Veil because even if Vanish fits Samira better it still freaking sucks. Basically you can play around with Duskblade to turn invisible as a Bonus Action until the end of your next turn. You can use this feature a number of times equal to your proficiency bonus, and you regain all expended uses when you finish a long rest.

LEVEL 19 - RANGER 11

11th level Hunters can finally spin around and hit everyone around them. Whirlwind Attack will let you make a melee attack against any enemy within 5 feet of you (with a separate attack roll for each target.) This is best used when surrounded (obviously) because unlike Samira’s ultimate in League it doesn’t do much extra damage, and you’re better off just stabbing them twice if you want DPS in a 1v1.

You also get your final spell known: take Wind Wall because you have an AoE Wind Wall and I thought it would be funny to steal directly from mister 0/10 powerspike himself. But really get whatever spell you think will be useful.

LEVEL 20 - RANGER 12

Full disclosure: feel free to go for 4 levels in Rogue if you know you aren’t going to hit level 20. I only went for Ranger level 12 because the hit die is bigger.

One last ability score improvement to top the build off: Charisma is still used for a lot of abilities, so increase that because who needs common sense when you’ve got blade flourishes!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Came all this way to die? - You have many a way to bump up the damage. With 2d6 on a sneak attack, an extra d6 from Favored Foe, a d8 from Blade Flourishes, and a d8 from Colossus Slayer that means that on average you can do about 20 extra damage every turn. That’s definitely nothing to sneeze at!

Finally some action! - Have you ever had +12 to initiative? Would you like to? You are incredibly mobile for a girl who didn’t bring Flash (IE Misty Step) with tons of ways to increase your movement speed and the ability to Dash every turn as a Bonus Action.

This took years of practice... for everyone else - It was not my intention but wow you’re quite the little skill monkey. Two expertise skills from Rogue, another 2 from Bard, and one more from Deft Explorer. Not to mention Jack of All Trades in what few skills you aren’t proficient in to make sure you can do just about anything.

CONS

Oh... I really gotta check these more often - Your spellcasting really isn’t fantastic. We invested almost everything into Charisma but we have very few Bard spells. While I did my best to avoid Ranger spells that forced saving throws there are still some that suffer due to your relatively low Wisdom score... Oh yeah you also have 6th level spell slots but your known spells don’t go past level 3. At least that means you can buff the party with Aid!

I feel most alive when I'm walking the line - As great as your skill checks are your saving throws are quite lacking. Your Dexterity is nice but that’s about it; all your other saves range from average (+5) to bad (+0) Notably your Constitution saves are a mere +1, which means you won’t keep concentration up for long if you play recklessly.

Well-behaved women don't make it - There are a lot of features I took more for flavor then actual utility. For a start Hunter is a rather meh multiclass. This might be one of the times “just play a Fighter with a bow” applies as a subclass like Battlemaster would’ve likely been a better choice, and honestly going down full Swords Bard would’ve given you far more utility overall. There were benefits from Ranger levels but they were lost in the multiclassing MADness.

But you prove that modern-day killers really must hate fun; more often people can’t get style rockin' knives and guns. You don’t need no fancy magic or divine ascension to be a badass: gun ‘em down and cut through whatever remains to show that S stands for Samira and Samira alone... As long as she isn’t permabanned.

(Artwork by @Yangyexin on Twitter)

[rmg91]

Zoe Week; Day 5-ROTT

So I know we got given a free day considered ROTT was...what it was but I decided to still go with the prompt and it turned into more of a small rewrite than just a ‘Let’s slip Zoe into this scene’. Zoe is everyone’s braincell and we know it.

Also I tried writing a fight scene....I donno how well it turned out lol

AO3

~*~*~*~*~*~

“He WHAT?!”

Zoe stared at the assembled guardians, the kids, that had gone up against the demigods bent on restarting the world with that crazy plan to strip them of their powers, only for it to fail. Yes, they were alive. Yes, they had Nari, in spirit, but the Arcane Order had her body, had Douxie, and that was not okay for her! That stupid, self-sacrificing idiot! Of course he'd do something like that! But all it would do would buy them time and just what was going to happen when those power hungry beings found out?! It wasn't going to be good, that was for sure and now Zoe had to hatch a plan to try and save her idiot before something bad happened.

Ignoring the overlapping explanations and assurances they'd come up with a plan, Zoe marched her way out of the ex-throne room and down to what was becoming her studio. Shuffling around the various tomes and grimoires, she searched for the one she was certain had the spell she needed to find him, growling to herself when she couldn't. This is what she got for not sorting through all these yet. Finally, just when she'd been about to say 'fuck it' and do it without the book, she dug up the dusty purple codex of scrying and grinned in victory. Oh, she was finding that idiot of hers and then she was going to give him a piece of her mind once he was safe.

Coming back upstairs, the pinked haired witch flipped through the book, looking for the magic circle that would allow her to find Douxie. Ignoring everyone's voices, she quickly read through the directions, reminding herself how it worked and set to etching runes in the air with her wand. The symbols of power fell to the floor in sparking pink power, forming the necessary element for her spell. “Nari.” She called, “I'm gonna need Archie for a moment.”

The little nature spirit, inhabiting her partners body, let his familiar go from her hold as she finished the magic circle, sending the tomb to rest on the floor outside it. Sitting in the center, Archie crawled into her lap in dragon form, already having a feeling on what she was going to try to do. Normally she could sense Douxie's power, they'd known each other for so after all it was easy, but between distance and most likely being blocked, she couldn't without help. It would be easier if their magic was bonded, tied together for the rest of eternity and the ultimate sign of trust and love between magic users but...they weren't. Not for lack of wanting to but their lives had been pretty hectic and dangerous and bonding their magic came with lots of consequences as well as benefits. If one of them died...it would be the worse kind of hell on the other. And as much as they loved each other they hadn't wanted to have the other suffer so. But maybe, after all this, they'd change that.

“Uh..what are you gonna do?” Toby asked, standing near as he watched the pulsing pink runes.

“I'm going to track Douxie using the bond between him and Archie.” She explained, holding the dragon-cat gently, one hand scratching between his ears, “It should, in theory, help me find where the Order is holding him.” Then they would retrieve him and she was going to kick his ass for putting himself in danger, again.

Everyone took that as the queue to be quiet, to let her work, and Zoe breathed in deeply, letting her magic seep out and take shape. The circle glowed as she let herself fall into a trance, focusing on Archie, who was relaxed in her lap, his own magic open to letting hers in. She found the bond, a shining string of magic that was warm, comforting, powerful, reaching out beyond their little space in search of their missing wizard. She followed it as it swirled, twisting and turning through the space between, searching, searching, searching until-There! It sung brightly, tightening like a perfectly tuned guitar string and humming with life and she knew in that moment just where to find him.

Opening her eyes, a pink glow encompassing them, she grinned sharply. The Order didn't know what was coming to them.

~*~*~*~

The group entered the abandoned train tunnel, sans one Trollhunter, looking for any sign of the Order or Douxie. Zoe knew she had been harsh when she told Jim he needed to stay behind but she was not going to take back what she said. He was injured and therefore a liability and she wasn't going to let him kill himself or any of his friends if things were to go pear shaped. But hopefully they wouldn't and they'd be able to rescue Douxie with minimal trouble.

Her blue eyes roamed over the various crates and scaffolding, sensing him near but unable to see him. But she just knew he was here. Even as the group spread out and looked around old, crumbling crates and rusty metal drums, confused as to why they couldn't find anyone, Zoe was reaching out with her magic, searching for her wayward husband. Frowning down at the tracks, something just wasn't sitting right with her, she tried her best to see and think like Douxie would. There had to be something here she was missing...

She blinked, a thought coming suddenly and could it really be that easy?

Trotting up a staircase to get higher ground, she looked down at the tracks, shaking her head lightly because for some eon's old beings, Skrael and Bellroc really couldn't be original? “Their hiding in plain sight!” She shouted to assembled guardians, flicking her wand out and rearranging the train tracks, “They've made a giant sigil with the tracks!” The tracks moved, soon lighting up and dispelling the room around them, revealing a much darker room and three beings in the center.

She wasn't sure if they were aware they weren't alone anymore but it looked as if the demigods of ice and fire were taunting who they thought were Nari. She, or rather Douxie, was hovering in the air, held aloft by his hands in glowing magic and maybe, possibly keeping quiet as to continuing fooling the gods. But then, as they were staring confusedly as the Genius Seals, wondering why they weren't opening, he opened his big fat mouth.

“Abracadabra, Buttsnacks.”

Zoe groaned, because why had he said that?! But before the Order could do more than threaten him, she raised her wand high and cried, “Hey! Hands off!” She then sent a bolt of pink lighting down, just barely hitting Skreal, and then it was on!

Everyone jumped into action, firing and fighting the two remaining members of the Order. Zoe jumped down, joining the fray, firing spells and shields as she made way to Nari's body. She was put to a stop though as the icy wizard floated in front of her, brandishing his staff. Oh, if he wanted a fight, he was getting a fight. Ignoring Douxie's strained call of her name, the hedge-witch ducked a swing of the staff, dodging to the right and not giving in to Skreal's taunting. Hedge-witch or not, didn't mean she wasn't powerful and she wasn't about to let these bastards win.

Zoe fired spell after spell, wildly missing the floating god as he chuckled darkly at her. But that was okay, all part of the plan because when he least expect it she smirked and performed a round-house kick, planting her foot below his belt with a cry of “Rule Number Three!!”

As Skrael crumpled, she turned back to Douxie in Nari's body, running closer and hoping she could break the spell keeping him in the air. Fire had started to burn everywhere, the old wood catching easily to the spells Bellroc fired off but she ignored all that as she examined the magic around Douxie's wrists. She shushed him as he tried to talk to her, needing to concentrate on what she was doing, hopefully she wouldn't need Claire's help. Then a dark chuckle came from behind her.

“You won't break him free.” She turned to glare at Bellroc, their ever fluctuating voice grating on her nerves, “That magic is too powerful for even a full fledged wizard, let alone a little hedge-witch.” She growled as they laughed at her. And maybe she wouldn't be able to break it herself but if she could break this beings concentration... A wicked grin came to her face, feral as she remembered the chaos she'd wrecked at Killahead, and she began drawing runes behind her back.

“You're right...Guess I'll just have to make you break it.”

And with a flash of pink, twenty more Zoe's surrounded the demigod.

Crying out, Bellroc began to blast away her clones, easily poofing them from existence, which was fine as it was only meant as a distraction. The real Zoe dodged behind him, thankful for the rest of the crew keeping Skrael busy as she charged her magic. She'd only have one shot at this and she hoped it worked. It had been a while since she last did this. Bringing her now brightly flashing hands together, she drew them apart, a glowing, sparking, pink arrow held between them.

“Foolish girl! This won't defeat me!!” Bellroc cried with rage, dispelling the last of her clones.

“It's not meant to!” She yelled back before firing the arrow, sending a million volts through the wizard and causing them to spasm. And it was enough, for the spell holding Douxie up sputtered and died, dropping him to the floor. Zoe dived for his staggering form as Bellroc cried out again, pushing him out of the way of a blast of fire. Of course now she needed a plan to get them out of there...

Just as the fire god was approaching, already up from her attack and ready to end her life, a black portal formed beneath her and Douxie and they dropped away.

~*~*~*~

Zoe groaned as she was dropped onto the floor of Camelot, rolling onto her back. That had been...something. She really needed to practice that attack again, it took far too much out of her but at least now Douxie was safe. And Nari. She heard the rest of the guardians tumble in, shouts from their assembled allies rising and still she laid there, catching her breath.

“Zoe! Zoe, are you alright?!” She looked up at Douxie's voice, finding Nari's face above her looking at her with concern and they were needed to change back because this was just getting too weird. She watched him sag with relief, most likely due to her opening her eyes and he sighed, “You were nuclear, Love.”

“You better switch back before you kiss me, Casperan.” Was her only response.

Chuckling breathlessly, he nodded and she watched him hold out his hand for Nari to take, the goddess now crouching on her other side. A flash of magic and she was then being pulled into Douxie's lap, the wizard now back in his body. She let him nuzzle his face into her neck, still recovering from the adrenaline and almost overuse of her magic as they sat there, friends and allies all around.

“Thank you, Zoe.” Nari said softly, sitting primly in front of her, “You risked so much.”

“It's fine, Nari,” Zoe said, smiling at the forest child, “There was no way I was letting them keep your body and Douxie's mind.” Let alone risk the possibility of them forcing the two back into their proper bodies. Then they really would have been in trouble.

“So what do you do now?” She heard Claire ask because now they were back at square one. Keep Nari out of the grasp.

“I donno,” Zoe sighed, “But the important thing is the Order doesn't have Nari anymore.”

“That's not all they don't have..” The nature goddess smirked shyly before holding up the Genius Seals.

Zoe's eyes widen as cries went up around her, Douxie laughing in surprise, before she grinned wide and shark like. Oh, things were about to get interesting.

~*~*~*~*~*~

How the rest of the movie would play out from here I have no idea but there’s some choice Zouxie protecting each other/Nari/Archie so...there’s that. I hope you all enjoyed!

[oxbridge-quality-fanfiction-co]

The Lovelorn Monster

Welcome to my first Modern AU, which I wrote for @lovelyrita1967  It’s a Geraskier Romcom with extra suffering and gore! Also, it’s a Christmas fic as @booichiboo requested. 16k, M.

You can read it on AO3.

Summary: It's been many months since the mountain incident. Jaskier is alone on Christmas day. His lovely, old house has somehow become a monster-infested hellhole. Now it seems there might be a way to kill two birds with one stone. Only deciding what actually needs killing is much more complicated than that.

cw: blood, so much blood, also a lot of angst (although there’s a happy ending), suicide references, some Geraskier disagreements and heartbreak. No sex, but there’s a fair bit of angsty cuddling and some much less angsty kissing.

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When I am laid, am laid in earth, May my wrongs create

No trouble, no trouble in thy breast;

Remember me, remember me, but ah! forget my fate.

Remember me, but ah! forget my fate.

Dido’s Lament, Henry Purcell, adapted from The Aeneid

Jaskier stared at his beautiful, tall, richly dressed Christmas tree with pride and a wistful smile. Each ornament was a souvenir or a gift. This tradition gave his decorations deep meaning, but also made him reluctant to come anywhere near the tree this year.

Memories. He had a cardboard box full of them. There was a delicately carved wooden heart covered in rich, red paint he received from Countess de Stael. Then his favourite - a perfect, tiny copy of his lute he had ordered to celebrate his first successful performance for the royals. He even had a little doll that a sibele, a demon who steals children, was using to lure a baby when Geralt cut off her head.

Geralt never approved of Jaskier keeping the toy, let alone using it as an ornament. ‘I don’t need keepsakes to remind me of the last time I killed something,’ his gruff voice would say.

Well, this year it’s going up. Jaskier picked a spot for the doll with a rebellious toss of his hair. It was quite a nasty, clumsily knitted thing. Seeing it on the tree succeeded mostly in creating an uncomfortable lump in his throat as he imagined Geralt sitting on his living room sofa, relaxed, with a snide smile, some acerbic remark already forming in his head.

Perhaps Geralt would ignore the doll. ‘You just love making yourself sentimental,’ he’d say instead, seemingly no connection, just a short, judgmental glance at the tree.

And Jaskier did, actually. No shame in that. It had its benefits. In his mind, Geralt could easily become just the memory of a perfect, lost friend, regardless of how he would feel about the prospect. He was the hero Jaskier once traveled with, no more, no less. They parted ways for perfectly rational reasons.

‘Just give me a couple of years,’ he said to the imaginary Geralt in his mind and smiled with pride. Being the storyteller meant being in control.

Then he noticed a little ornament shaped like a golden dragon lying at the bottom of the box. The sight made him freeze for a moment. He shook off the memory and ignored the draw towards his phone which has been intensifying over the last couple of days.

Everything was going fine. The phone was just playing music, lying perfectly innocently on the windowsill as it should. It was set on shuffle, and Annie Lennox’s “Dido's Lament” was on, a little bit ominous, but also somehow appropriate.

He hummed with the music while hanging up a few golden baubles. As he started to sing, another voice joined in, a distant echo of his hum, a gentle, female timbre following along quietly. It made him smile, eyes suddenly attracted to the window. It was already getting dark, and the Christmas lights he put up outside were reflecting in the glass. A weird glow by the evergreen shrubs made the snow underneath them shine delicately.

The decorations were nearly complete. There was a comforting smell of cinnamon and apples coming from the kitchen. Also, he still had some surprisingly successful homemade ginger biscuits left.

The golden dragon was the last thing he hung on the tree. He flinched a little as he did, but it was where it belonged. Then he moved away to admire his finished work. ‘Better late than never,’ he whispered to himself.

At that exact moment, the next song started to play. Jaskier instantly recognised it and stared at his phone as if it personally insulted him.

‘It's been a blue holiday since you've been gone,’ Aretha Franklin started to sing.

‘Oh, no you don’t,’ Jaskier whispered while walking calmly towards his phone.

‘Oh darling, won't you hurry, hurry home,’ she continued undisturbed.

He actually liked the song and was starting to wonder if he was overreacting.

‘It's been a blue… a blue holiday. And I'm all alone.’

No, he wasn’t.

‘My dear I need your love to keep… to keep me warm.’

Yeah, sure, like that was ever an option, he thought to himself.

‘I cry when I hear the chapel bells ring… And sometimes I cry all through the night.’

Fuck. Jaskier’s fingerprint lock was a little wonky.

‘Won't you please come home and make my… make my holiday bright.’

Finally, he managed to skip a couple of songs, and quickly discovered he actually preferred some silence this time. He took a deep breath and decided it was time to focus on cooking. That should be comforting enough.

As soon as he turned towards the kitchen he heard a weird, buzzing sound, and then a high, disembodied laugh. Lights flickered. There was a loud crash, a cavalcade of many little objects falling all at once, baubles suddenly bouncing off his furniture. A glass ball he bought at a little Christmas market in Vizima rolled in between his feet.

He swore under his breath and turned back. All the ornaments were lying on his wooden floor, and only the Christmas lights remained. A small dark shape with sharp horns moved along the wall and then disappeared behind the sofa, still giggling to itself.

Jaskier stared at the naked tree, feeling a bit hopeless. Then he climbed up the sofa pillows and looked into the tight space between the wall and the backrest.

Two small, red eyes stared back.

‘Proud of yourself?’ he asked with irritation and heard only a quiet hiss in response. ‘You know what? Fuck you. Sincerely, fuck you.’ He pointed at the thing, his eyes narrowing. ‘No more biscuits for you. You’re going down,’ he threatened, a surprising and, by all accounts, disproportionate amount of uncurbed fury in his voice, hand shaking slightly.

For a moment Jaskier seemed overwhelmed. He took a couple of very deep breaths, then coughed a little and his eyes watered. ‘Right,’ he said to himself, his attempts to calm down obviously failing. He stretched his neck, then rolled his shoulders, releasing the tension with a sigh. ‘Right,’ he repeated as his expression switched to resolve.

He squeezed his phone with newly found determination, and then fiddled with it nervously for much longer than he originally planned.

Finally, he clicked on his least favourite icon of all - the phone app.

The signal was ringing loud in his ears. Time slowed down. He was just about to hang up when he heard a deep voice on the other side. ‘Yes?’

‘Vesemir,’ Jaskier announced, jovially. ‘Merry Christmas!’ He listened to Vesemir return the greeting and massaged his temples nervously. ‘Yes, thank you. Erm… I was just wondering… No, no, I am not going to hang up. Whatever gives you that idea?’ He laughed nervously. ‘I do need help. It’s a dreadful emergency. No… Of course, I would have called otherwise. Yes, it’s quiet because I’m at home. No, I have not been drinking. I am most definitely sober. Yes, yes, yes… No, I do realise… I actually do have a monster that needs to be… witchered? No, it’s not just one, actually… It’s- it’s a couple of things, really. I know it’s Christmas. Yes, I see your point. But… isn’t Geralt working anyway?’

He waited as the line went quiet for a while. ‘Yes, I did just ask for Geralt,’ he confirmed.

No response. Vesemir must have moved away from the phone, and there was a sound of distant chatter. When he returned his voice was hesitant. ‘You’re sure about this?’ he asked.

‘Yes, I definitely want Geralt here. As soon as possible would be grand,’ Jaskier confirmed again, surprised at how confident he sounded.

‘Fine,’ Vesemir said finally, before hanging up right away, voice a bit more irritated than the situation justified.

Jaskier put the phone away and tried to force himself to breathe again.

You can read the rest on AO3.

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Extra thanks to @ohmybgosh @variousnoises

@thelastsock​ @jaskierswolf​ @rawrkinjd​ @katesierra​ @gilbert-von-kneecap​ @stinastar​ @carmillacarmine​ @ro-the-bard-writer​ @ikeptupwiththejoneses​ @purpleonionofsex​ @marvagon​ @fontegagrilledcheese​ @sarah-midnight​ @geraskierficrecs​ @renfribrooks​ @darknessyuu​ @comfortabletextiles​ @gosh-diddley-darnit​ @ohjules​ @short-potato​ @anie6142​ 

@valdomarx​ I know you don’t read Modern AUs but this one has a wyvern, a rusalka and Geralt is still a witcher. Also, I love you. That’s my argument.

[pizzazz-party]

Part 2: Ring’s Powers—And What They All Have In Common

Easily the most mystifying thing about this game is— how on earth the magical sentient Pilates ring can do what he does. Seriously. Except, there is some underlying logic here. Buckle up, guys, we’re doing pseudo-science.

(Spoilers for up to the end of the main storyline. Various outfit spoilers beyond that.)

So. I’m just going to say it? The foundation of Ring’s powers essentially boils down to “energy manipulation.” That was probably an easy conclusion to reach if you’ve read Part 1. We’ve already basically established that much. So today we’re diving into the three main categories of how Ring manipulates energy.

They are:

Amplification. Using energy to amplify the strength of a physical motion.

Construction. Using energy to build new structures.

Conversion. Altering the state of the energy itself. Either by converting it to another type of energy, or by converting it into matter (and vice versa).

All of Ring’s various powers and abilities fall under at least one of these categories. Most belong to more than one.

You’re going to want to peek at this little Venn Diagram I’ve made. And possibly make friends with it, because it’s going to keep coming back at the end of every segment. We’re going to go over Ring’s lesser abilities first, then his five special powers, and finally his sealing ability.

And before we start! Some quick reminders, in case you need them.

“Life energy” exists in all things everywhere.

“Exercise energy” is a type of life energy, and we see its presence most often in the form of Trainee’s signature flames.

The type of exercise energy Trainee produces is now pure and inhuman—because she’s synced with Ring.

Pure energy exists on a scale from “positive” to “negative.” Ring is partially made of pure positive energy. It’s the glowing stuff that flows through his tube.

There’s a fundamental difference between the “red,” “yellow,” “blue,” and “green” energies that get used in fit battles by other humans and humanoids, and the “pure positive” stuff that Ring and Trainee exhibit. (Seriously if you’ve never read Part 1 before, I strongly suggest you do so now.)

———

Alright! Ring’s wild list of “lesser” powers include:

Acting as a heart beat monitor

Crushing boulders into pebbles

Creating air blasts

Creating suction vortexes

Creating and wielding fit battle constructs

Creating ab guards

Creating non-battle constructs (Or whatever you would call “Quick! Turn into a tree!”)

Creating a sync bond

Creating solid constructs in Game Gyms

With exactly three exceptions, all of the abilities on this list involve some degree of amplification. So let’s walk through this.

HEART MONITOR. Amplification. The simplest to explain. When Ring is measuring your heart beat, he’s just amping the sound or vibration, sort of like a stethoscope.

BOULDER CRUSHING. Construction + Amplification. When you press Ring into your stomach to crush a boulder, he (1) loops a construct around said boulder and then he (2) amplifies the crushing motion of said construct, using raw exercise energy from the force of your press.

Air blasts and vortexes are a bit trickier to explain, but you have to remember that Ring is actively choosing what to amplify and what to ignore.

AIR BLASTS. Amplification. In the case of air blasts—when you squeeze the Ring Con, you’re also technically squeezing air molecules out of the center of the Pilates ring as you distort the shape. In-game, Ring is just picking a direction (away from your avatar’s face, very helpful) and amplifying the force of that squeeze into a harsh blast of air.

SUCTION VORTEX. Amplification. The vortex operates on a similar, but opposite premise. When you pull on your Ring Con, you’re actually still just pushing air molecules out, same as when you squeeze. But when you release it and the Pilates ring springs back into its original shape, the air molecules go rushing back, as though sucked in. In-game, Ring is once again just picking a direction to amplify the force of that suction.

FIT BATTLE CONSTRUCTS. Amplification + Construction + Conversion. Alright, this one is a bit more complicated. But have you ever noticed that no matter how how poorly you are at holding squats—as long as you hold that squat, Ring’s construct will buff up to completion. It’s, for the lack of a better word, the “quality” of the exercise energy going into it, that determines how hard the construct can swing—and how much damage it can really do. The better the “quality” that Ring has to work with, the more he can amplify the strength of his constructs.

Construction here is pretty self-explanatory . We’ve already poked at this in Part 1, but Ring is in charge of crafting and swinging your battle constructs, not Trainee. Once you select a fit skill—before you even have Trainee move to perform and hold said fit skill—the appropriate glowing limb constructs are already hovering above your enemies. That’s Ring’s doing. You have to remember that he does, actually, have his own supply of energy separate from Trainee. And this is just one of the ways in which he openly uses it.

Conversion technically only comes into play here after World 2, once Trainee and Ring retrieve the Color Coding power. I mentioned above (and yet again, more thoroughly in Part 1) that the exercise energy Trainee and Ring give off—purified positive exercise energy—fundamentally differs from the red/yellow/blue/green stuff found in human beings. Ring can manipulate light and color on a superficial basis without Color Coding (he once mimicked the purple flames of Dark Influence back in World 1), but it’s a surface level change. Ring’s constructs don’t yield any “extra damage” benefits in a fight until Color Coding is retrieved.

AB GUARDS. Construction + Amplification. Admittedly, this one’s pretty similar. (I mean, I’d argue that Trainee and Ring are both making the construct this time...) But with one key difference! There’s no conversion happening here. At all. Which makes sense, actually. A shield of “red energy” would be especially weak to red attacks. A shield of “green energy” would be especially weak to green attacks. And so on and so forth. Ring’s signature energy, however, doesn’t appear to come with any such caveats. (We never run into another being quite like Ring.)

QUICK TURN INTO A TREE. Construction + Conversion. The tree thing, functions like a fit battle construct, minus the amplification. Trainee holds the pose so that she and Ring can continue hiding in the construct, because slinkbugs are thieves that steal away valuable grocery monies. She’s the power source. Ring’s job is to shape the tree as convincingly as possible. There’s no amplification going on here.

SYNCHRONIZING. Conversion. As far as we know, synchronizing with Ring appears to have somehow overwritten Trainee’s original—human—energy signature, and made her somewhat biologically closer to being like Ring. There’s still a lot we don’t know about syncing, but you can read more about it here in Part 1.

GAME GYM CONSTRUCTS. Construction + Conversion. Up until this point, when it comes to “conversion,” all we’ve talked about is when Ring takes one glowing energy type, and converts it into another glowing energy type. Let’s talk matter.

Fit battle constructs, while still being made of energy, are actually pretty solid. You whack monsters with them all the time, this isn’t news. You don’t have to be a physics expert (and I’m really not) to understand that “energy,” as it exists in Ring Fit Adventure, operates under some pretty loose rules of reality. In this game, Pilates rings can be sentient! Dragons can be bodybuilders! And “energy” can be condensed into a shape hard enough to send your enemies flying—and still be considered “just energy,” not “matter”. Because we’ve seen what it looks like when energy gets turned into physical material, and vice verse. We’ve seen Ring do it loads of times.

Specifically, we see it happen in the mini game gyms.

So there are thirteen types of gyms spread across the world of Ring Fit. Most of them, like Dreadmill, don’t require a person to use any fancy tools to play. But others do. Exactly four require that Ring attach an extra accessory.

We only see Trainee play, but these gyms are canonically popular with the public. It’s implied that the gym supplies participants with the appropriate props instead of, like, making people bring their own parachutes or something. It’s also implied that Trainee refuses a bunch of these props, because she has Ring. And Ring can (temporarily) create his own props.

I say “temporary” because when you finish a game like Aerochute. Or Bank Balance. The two props are converted back into Ring’s signature golden energy, and then they dissipate into sparkles. We never explicitly see Ring making these tools, but we sure as hell see them get expelled.

We never see the other two props from Core Crushing and Smack Back dematerialize. (We also don’t see Trainee victory posing in either game.) But I don’t see why we should rule out that they can’t, if Ring was able to make the first two.

So. Like I said: CONSTRUCTION + CONVERSION = GAME GYM CONSTRUCTS. No amplification here, I doubt Ring would ever knowingly help you cheat.

This concludes Ring’s “lesser” powers.

———

Ring’s five—“special”—powers. You know them. You love them! They are:

Color coding

Smoothiecraft

River Rowing

Jump Boost

And the Wing Ability

Even before digging into what these entail, the special five are…interesting. Outside of Ring, they take the shape of giant, pulsing balls of energy. They’re coveted by nearly everyone who comes into contact with them. Seriously. From Dragaux himself to Honey to the Sportans, to random monsters to Daddalus to Solar Plexia the rain goddess—most of the persons listed here either can’t use Ring’s powers, or don’t even recognize them for what they are. “Treasure,” “shining jewel,” “glowy thing.” These are all things they have been dubbed as by outsiders.

Except, they’re not supposed to be removable. This is not a feature of Ring’s. We know thanks to Allegra (and Titanium White, bless her soul) that metaphysical traits can be ripped out of a person. This is more or less what Dragaux did to Ring. But unlike with what happened to Titanium White, it seems like Dragaux ripped out an extra glob of Ring’s energy reserves with each power. Those little “badges” in the menu screen aren’t just visual representations of your retrieval progress; they physically exist in the game. Ring shows one to Solar Plexia in World 8.

Once Ring’s reunited with one of his powers, it could be that he reabsorbs the excess energy, and all that’s left behind is the little “badge” that’s been sitting in its center—and that’s the thing that actually lets him wield whatever power he’s reacquired.

———

COLOR CODING. Conversion. Taking pure energy, and converting it for fit battles benefits. We covered this one.

SMOOTHIECRAFT. Conversion. Actually, the weirdest one on this list. I’ve gone over this video as slowly as my phone will allow. And to the best of what I’m seeing, Ring is taking these ingredients, converting them into a bubble of light, and then squeezing them back out as a physical paste. You can watch a video of it happening here.

The fact that it’s a chilled paste and not a fine liquid, speaks to some level of intent and control. Fire is what happens when atoms are moving very, very fast. Ice occurs when eligible molecules are moving very, very slowly. Cold is an absence of heat, and heat is just another form of energy.

RIVER ROWING. Conversion + Construction. For the longest time, I thought this “power” was Ring just storing a boat and some oars in his pocket dimension. But that’s not the whole picture.

The one time we “see” Ring summon something—as in we are 100% sure that he isn’t creating the object in question—is when he’s summoning ingredients for a smoothie. And the process looks very different. Please refer to the appropriate screenshots below the video. But to spell it out: there are two consistent traits that appear, when Ring is summoning something from his “pocket dimension.” There is:

Always some circle of light present. The item emerges from the “pocket” as energy, so Ring is converting it back into matter as he takes it out. If whatever’s getting converted normally exists as a physical object (and not just as a “temporary” one) then there’s some kind of circle present somewhere.

Always some level of detail to whatever is getting taken out of the “pocket,” even before the item appears to “solidify” into normal.

You can see River Rowing in action at its activation and deactivation. Unfortunately the position of the camera prevents us from seeing a clear image of the boat as it appears. But its massive light show does include a conversion circle—or a “portal,” if you will, as Trainee walks under the arch. (The camera also prevents us from seeing the boat get sent away.)

We do see the oars, though. As sturdy as they look, they each start out as a shape made of pure energy, with no extra detailing before they “solidify.” So again, conversion and construction are at work here.

JUMP BOOST. Amplification. Works the same way as an air blast. I…don’t actually see a reason as to why Ring can’t already do this? So long as the both of them are fast and strong enough, they should be able double-jump. I don’t like it, but I’m willing to chalk this one up to gameplay mechanics. Jump Boost only exists so you can skip over enemies anyway.

WING ABILITY. Conversion + Amplification. If the boat in River Rowing is an object being converted into and out of Ring’s pocket dimension—then so are the wings. I’m certain of it. There’s a circle of light as Trainee runs under the arch, same as with River Rowing. And if you watch closely here, you can see that each wings appears with distinct, detailed trimming straight from the get-go. Maybe more importantly, you can see each wing actually emerging from a portal of light. These portals come back again as Ring banishes the wings back into his pocket. The wings visibly sink into the portals, and then disappear.

This ability also falls under amplification. It looks like Trainee’s energy also gets fed into the trimmings, and that could increase the force of the flaps. It might be that the two of them wouldn’t be able to cut into the air as well without that boost.

This concludes Ring’s “special” powers.

———

And last but not least: sealing.

Ah, sealing. One of the first powers we ever see on screen. We witness it in action only once, way back in the beginning of the game. So our knowledge of how it works is limited. Something we also know very little about? Ring’s sneaky little “pocket dimension” trick. Unlike sealing, Ring doesn’t even acknowledge this as a power worth talking about. But as it turns out, if you’re working under the assumption that these two are related, it starts filling in some blanks.

Sealing, as we’re shown in the initial cutscene, has done something weird to Ring’s colors. His metal is the same as ever, but the energy that flows through his veins? It cycles through a faint rainbow as it flashes from light yellow to light purple. Dark Influence purple.

“Pocket dimension” implies Ring is somehow connected to a space physically separate from him and further separate from our reality. But if the objects Ring pulls from his “pocket” emerge as energy, that need to be converted back into matter. What if it’s closer than we thought. What if—everything that Ring stores away for you, from every boat or shirt or—heaven forbid—bodybuilding dragon…

What if it all.

Goes into.

His tube.

Life energy exists in everything, everywhere. And Ring is apparently a master at manipulating it into his donut stream. If a tomato, a living thing, can be converted twice and still come out of his “pocket” in one piece—then why not Dragaux? Maybe even especially Dragaux. He appears to convert himself back into the flesh once he’s out.

As for the physical seal that Trainee breaks…As best as I can figure, that thing is a lock being held into place by Ring’s sheer might and concentration. The way Ring talks about it, sealing sounds less like a one-time thing and more like this one, long, continuous effort in suppressing Dragaux. Because despite all restrictions, Dragaux never stopped training, never stopped straining, against his new prison. That seal was on its least legs, even before Trainee ruined Ring’s concentration.

———

STORAGE. Conversion. Physical matter gets temporarily converted into energy, and then tucked away into the tube containing Ring’s personal reservoir of life energy. Safely reversible. Objects can be converted/stored/released remotely, far away from Ring’s center.

SEALING. Conversion + Construction. Storage with a locked gate. The lock needs constant focus and effort to maintain. The physical seal bears a spiral symbol—the very same we see flashing white across the screen before every fit battle—and possibly doubles as a warning sign for danger, please don’t touch.

———

And that’s it. That’s all of them.

This thing is so dense, you genuinely deserve a pat on the back for making it to the end. Unless, you skipped around looking for the last Venn diagram? Which. In that case, here it is! As promised, the complete picture.

TL;DR:

Maybe some of these alignments leave room for argument, but I think the categories themselves stand up pretty well.

I hope reading this only gave you half the headache that writing it gave me! It was fun…when I wasn’t muttering curses against Ring under my breath. The formatting was a pain, but I think I handled it okay.

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DISCLAIMER: I take this video game way too seriously. This is all for fun! I feel pretty strongly about my conclusions, but I’ll go back and edit this if/when/where applicable. Thanks for reading.

———

Ring Analysis

Part 1: Synchronizing—How It Works and What It Tells Us About Ring

Part 2: Ring’s Powers—And What They All Have In Common

Part 3: Ring’s Biology and Possible Origins

[lifeofkaze]

An Art of Balance #2

A/N: Chapter 2, here you go. I can’t believe how much I missed writing, let me tell you :D Also, looking at my draft and at how high the word counts for every chapter I’ve written so far turned out… we’re in for a long one, hope you’ll stay with me through it. Enjoy!

Warning: mild swearing, use of alcohol

 Word Count: ~ 2.700

______________________________________________________________ 

Chapter 2: Secrets Spilt

Orion leaned back contently, supporting his weight on the bench with his hands and let his gaze wander through the Great Hall. It was looking magnificent as ever, packed to the brim with students new and old, chatting excitedly, the air humming with positive energy. They had just finished their welcome feast and waited for the new first years to be escorted to their common rooms, so the older students could follow up.

He felt a smile spread on his face. As much as he appreciated the summer break to reset and focus on himself, there was nothing quite like coming back to what was home to him. He looked at each of his friends around him, grateful for having found so many people over the last years he considered his family.

A group of newly sorted Gryffindors walked past, being ushered along by Gryffindor’s newest prefect. Charlie Weasley, star of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. Orion eyed him up curiously. He was undeniably gifted when it came to playing seeker. As a matter of fact, Orion wouldn’t put a professional career past his abilities. If they wanted to have a chance to win the House Cup once again, they had better watch out for him.

When he passed where Lizzie was sitting, he nonchalantly saluted her with two fingers put to his forehead and grinned. Lizzie stuck her tongue out to him before she started laughing and waved back. Charlie gave her a wink and continued along after his brother Bill and their charges. Orion noticed Skye giving Lizzie a glum look.

“Stop that, Jameson, this is competition you’re flirting with.”

“I wasn’t flirting, I was waving at a friend. Get a grip, Skye,” Lizzie snapped at her, clearly exasperated.

Skye only snorted at that. “Whatever. He’s in another house and on top on another team. You can be nice to him all you want, once we’ve shown Gryffindor the ropes on the pitch.”

“What if we’re playing them last, do you expect me not to talk to one of my best friends for the whole year or what?” Lizzie shot her an angry glance. “Besides, if you weren’t so consumed with seeing everyone as competition, you could actually benefit from me being friends with him. He is excellent on his broom. I bet he could even show you a trick or two.”

Skye bristled up at that and Orion felt resignation set in. He had hoped Lizzie and Skye would last at least a week until their inevitable bickering commenced. Although they had been playing on the same team for so many years, their different approach to the sport they both loved so much invariably led to tensions. Tensions that were his responsibility as the team’s captain to resolve.

“Everyone has their strengths as well as their weaknesses. We should not concentrate on others but focus on how we can overcome our weak sides to rise stronger than before.” He leaned over the table pushing the two girls glaring at each other gently apart. “It is no use to fight amongst ourselves when we have a common goal to achieve.”

“He’s right, you know,” Penny agreed happily. “I’ve had enough of the Cup being dressed in blue and bronze already. You two be nice to each other and take it back for us.”

Much to his surprise, Skye actually let it rest at that, only muttering a stubborn “They could show me shit, Jameson, as if…” but Lizzie wasn’t listening to her anymore. Rowan was walking past with their new housemates in tow and Lizzie jumped up, walking over to her. Though Orion couldn’t hear what they said, he saw Lizzie return of few moments later, looking puzzled and Rowan leaving with the first years.

He opened his mouth to ask what was bothering her but was cut short by McNully announcing Hufflepuff’s first years to have been the last of them and it being high time they left for their common room as well.

*

Saying he was relieved to finally be able to get out of his school uniform would have been an understatement. He shrugged into his battered coat, running his hand over the worn fabric. It had been with him for so long it almost felt part of his identity. Orion felt himself relaxing more and more. Laying back on his bed, arms crossed behind his head, he closed his eyes and let the familiar smell of warm wood and the fire from the common room wash over him.

This was home.

The other boys sharing the dorm with him were still gathered around the giant fireplace, but he didn’t mind. Although they were about to start their sixth year together, he didn’t really feel connected to them. The only exception was McNully, who shared his passion about Quidditch, albeit in quite a different way.

He propped himself up on his side and reached over to his nightstand, where he had put up pictures of his team he had collected over the course of the years. Picking up the first one he could reach, he fell back again, letting his mind wander back to the glaringly hot day the photograph had been taken. It was a snapshot of the team celebrating a last-minute win against Ravenclaw two years ago. He could almost feel the heat of the sun on his skin as he looked at the exhilarated faces of his friends. The sudden burst of joy mixed with relief of not being shot out of the race for the Cup had even let Skye forget the fight she had had with Lizzie at the time, both girls having one arm around the other’s shoulder, grinning like mad up at him.

A soft sigh escaped him. As much as he valued his friendship with both of them, Skye and Lizzie could both be a handful, especially when disagreeing with each other. Where Skye was peculiar with her subordinating every aspect of her life to Quidditch and expecting everybody else to do the same, Lizzie was extremely prickly when she felt herself or one of her friends being attacked. Most of the times their quarrel was nothing more than that and they quickly returned to being friends, but every so often it would turn into a downright fight.

Orion looked up when he heard the door opening and the soft noise of McNully’s wheelchair approaching him.

“Taking a trip down memory lane?” McNully came to a halt next to him, looking curiously at the picture Orion was holding in his hands.

“Yes, setting my mind for all the things that need to be done for the new season.”

McNully leaned closer, eyes shining excitedly. “And there are a lot of these! You need to find a new beater, scout out what the other teams are up to, assess their strengths and weaknesses- “

“Good to see you have already worked out my whole schedule,” Orion interrupted him flatly.

McNully gracefully ignored the rare sarcasm in his friend’s voice. “What did you expect, I had the whole summer to think about this. And if you want to know, I do think Gryffindor will be your hardest contender for the top. Contrary to us, their team remains unchanged and they only lost to us last year due to circumstances that are highly improbable to repeat themselves.”

Fading his voice out, Orion’s mind went back to what had happened in the Great Hall earlier. McNully was right. None of the other houses should be underestimated, but he had a feeling Gryffindor maybe deserved the closest look out of all of them. Although he really wouldn’t like to admit it out loud, in some way Skye had a point.

He looked over at McNully, lost in thought. “Do you think Lizzie and Charlie being so close could be a problem for us? Got any statistics for me on inter-house friendships influencing performance? Or was Skye overreacting earlier?”

The blond wizard only laughed. “Hey, don’t ask me about inter-personal relationships, especially regarding your teammates. After all,” and he rolled over to his own bed, smiling innocently, “I’m just your ever impartial commentator.”

 ***

 Lizzie’s face hurt from laughing. She leaned back against her bed post and wiped a tear from her eye while Tonks stopped her impersonation of Professor McGonagall, turning her face back into its original state. She reached for the bottle of cherry liquor they had been passing around. Shaking it gently she listened to the remainders of the liquid slosh inside.

“Uh-oh, girls, we’re almost done.” She set the bottle to her lips, emptying it in one big gulp.

“Oi, Tonks, let us in on the fun!” Skye protested but Tonks only grinned and burped before tossing her the empty bottle.

Lizzie felt herself giggling again, giddy from the alcohol coursing through her body.

Penny, who sat next to her, leaned forward and snatched the bottle out of Skye’s hands. Her cheeks were flushed and her voice already had slight slur to it. “To mark the occasion of me having my favourite girls ever back, how about a round of good old truth-and-dare?”

Everybody groaned but got up anyway and sat down in a circle on the floor. Penny placed the bottle in the middle and got her wand out.

“Remember, everyone not telling the truth or chickening out on the dare gets to live with neon green hair for the rest of the week. Except for Tonks who has to go with a boring colour of her choice.”

To emphasise the stakes, Tonks let her hair change colour, showcasing such a bright green it actually hurt to look at her.

Lizzie felt the familiar tingling on her skin as Penny cast the spell on them. She glanced sideways at Rowan, who didn’t look to keen on the prospect of the game, but said nothing. Maybe it would loosen her up a bit.

Penny spun the bottle. It came to rest on Tonks, who confidently chose a dare. Penny thought about it for a second. “I dare you to prank Madam Pince before the end of the week. “

Tonks laughed out loud. “Consider it done. And here was me thinking this was about something I don’t want to do.” She spun the bottle again, this time it stopped pointing at Lizzie. She tensed a little bit.

“Alright, Lizzie, truth or dare?”

Lizzie remembered the last time she had chosen the dare vividly. They had made her lecture Snape on every detail about her hair care routine, complete with a recommendation of her favourite shampoo. It had cost her ten house points, detention and a good chunk of her dignity.

Considering that, she really had no choice. “Truth, I guess. I’m too scared of you, Tonks.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll go easy on you, we’re only on warm up. Have you been kissed before?”

Lizzie felt a blush creep up her face. Avoiding her friends’ curious faces she looked up at the ceiling. “Yes.”

“What?!” Penny shrieked, gripping her arm. “Who? When? Don’t be a buzzkill, tell us everything!”

Lizzie shook her head. “Not a chance.”

“You have to tell us!” Tonks complained. “You have to answer my question!”

“I know. I did. You didn’t ask for any details, so I have to tell you bugger all.” Ignoring Tonks’ pout, she grabbed the bottle and quickly spun it. She could feel Rowan’s eyes resting on her and felt a little guilty. She hadn’t even told her best friend about her first kiss.

She could still feel Rowan watching her while she dared Skye walking into the Great Hall at breakfast like a chicken but when she looked over, Rowan quickly dropped her gaze.

“Well, Lizzie, looks like it’s you again.”

She looked back to the middle of the circle where the bottle pointed at her for the second time.

Brilliant. She already pictured herself giving Snape an additional lecture on conditioner. She sighed. “Dare.”

Skye blinked innocently at her. “Smashing. I dare you to tell us who your first kiss was with.”

Lizzie looked at her dumbfounded. Tonks and Skye high-fived, looking thoroughly pleased with themselves.

“This is not how his game is working,” Lizzie protested helplessly.

“Yes, it is. Now spill the beans!” Skye replied smugly.

For a second, Lizzie contemplated how she would look with green hair, but with another glance at Tonks’s radiantly glowing head, she gave in to the inevitable.

Covering her face with her hands, she mumbled something incomprehensible.

Skye put a hand to her hear. “Sorry, can’t hear you!”

Exasperated, Lizzie threw her head back and exclaimed, “Alright, it was Charlie Weasley! There you have it!”

Her friends’ reactions came all at once. Penny was squealing, whereas Skye was glaring at her, yelling “Jameson, seriously?!”. Tonks was laughing her head off.

“I can’t believe it, Dragon Boy got himself a girlfriend!” she roared.

Lizzie fiercely shook her head. “Merlin, no, don’t you get any ideas! It was just that one kiss, nothing more. It was Christmas, there was a mistletoe and that is it! End of story!”

Penny couldn’t contain herself with excitement. “You two spent Christmas together? How come I never knew? Lizzie, you have to tell me everything. Right. Now.”

Again, Lizzie buried her face in her hands. Suddenly the prospect of lecturing Snape didn’t sound so bad.

Suddenly Rowan spoke up next to her. “You heard what she said. It was nothing serious and the dare is fulfilled. Leave her alone.”

Surprised, Lizzie looked over to her. For the first time that evening, Rowan smiled at her, albeit it was somewhat restrained.

She got up. “In fact, I think we’ve all had enough. Let’s call it a day, shall we?” With that, she snatched the bottle from the floor, grabbed her things from her bed and left the room.

*

Lizzie had been tossing and turning for over an hour now, listening to Skye softly snoring in the bed to her right. She absentmindedly ran her fingers through Mouse’s thick fur, who was rolled into a tight ball against her stomach. After returning from home, it always took her a few nights to get accustomed to sharing her room with other people again.

When she heard Rowan getting out of bed on her other side, she propped herself up onto her elbows. She could see her friend tiptoeing over to the dresser at the far end of the room, pouring herself a glass of water.

Lizzie watched her silhouette quietly. Better get this over with now.

She waited until her friend returned before turning to her side.

“Rowan?” she whispered quietly.

She could see the other girl looking up, although her features were indiscernible in the darkness.

“Lizzie? Can’t sleep, can you?”

“Yeah.” Rowan knew she always had trouble falling asleep for the first few nights. “Can I ask you something?”

Rowan didn’t answer immediately. “Sure, go ahead.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were made a prefect?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about you and Charlie?” she retorted. Lizzie could hear the hurt in her best friend’s voice.

She sighed softly. “I’m sorry, I know should have. We just thought, keeping this between ourselves would prevent stupid rumours from spreading. It was just for fun.”

Rowan didn’t reply at first. Then, “It’s alright.”

“Now you. Why didn’t you tell me about the prefect thing?”

“This has nothing to do with you personally, really. It’s just… you have gotten so absorbed into this whole Quidditch world; I feel like I can’t keep up. Sometimes it’s like I’m not that big a part of your life anymore, Liz.”

Lizzie felt a punch of sadness at her words. And a tad guilty as well. “You could have told me anytime. You are my best friend, Rowan, you are part of everything I do.”

Although she couldn’t see her face, she heard the smile in Rowan’s voice. “That’s good to know.”

They were both silent for a bit.

“Rowan?”

“Hm?” she replied sleepily.

“Thanks for helping me out earlier.”

“Sure. Good night, Lizzie.”

“Good night.”

Lizzie snuggled herself into her blanket, moving Mouse a little bit to make herself more comfortable. She couldn’t shake the feeling there was something Rowan had not told her. But before she could think on it any further, she had already drifted off to sleep.

[monstersdownthepath]

Spiritual Spotlight: Zyphus, the Grim Harvestman

Neutral Evil God of Accidental Deaths, Graveyards, and Tragedies

Domains: Death, Destruction, Evil, Plant, War Subdomains: Blood, Catastrophe, Daemon, Decay, Murder, Thorns, Undead

Inner Sea Faiths, pg. 88~93

Obedience: Spend an hour sitting on the grave of someone who suffered an accidental death. You must reflect on how chance has wronged you and vocally reject the influence of any gods associated with these wrongs. If no suitable grave exists, spend an hour telling strangers how their religious beliefs and hopes for a just afterlife are folly and of no consequence. Alternatively, you can write this screed and post it in a public place within a settlement. If you’re away from civilization, you can instead spend an hour sabotaging a path, bridge, tool, or other device so that it’s dangerous for the next person who uses it. Benefit: You gain a +4 profane bonus on Craft (traps) or Disable Device checks, chosen when you complete the obedience. 

i’m glad the grim harvestman covers his basis but also jesus

Anyway, Zyphus is one of the most petty and spiteful of the gods, and this is no better shown than in this Obedience. A typical adventurer wandering the countryside must actively make the world a worse place for everyone else involved, and the clause “next person who uses it” means that you have to either toss aside your party’s good will, or take up the dreaded spot at the back of the marching order. Should you find yourself in a public area, you become just as much of an obnoxious git as a follower of Groetus, except this time you’re personally spitting on their beliefs... However, if you wish to be significantly more tolerated by society, you should do as Zyphus encourages his followers to do and disguise yourself as a Pharasmin or the faithful of another god of order and afterlives and very carefully disguise your blasphemy as “misguided” teachings. At worst, you can feign ignorance and/or explain that you’re new to the faith and had no idea that what you’re saying is wrong. You can even blame other Zyphans for muddying your understanding of the truth, an act I’m sure the Harvestman finds extra ironic!

Telling someone that their practices don’t matter because Pharasma has already decided your fate is the easiest way to go, and the best part is it’s not even inaccurate! NPCs don’t have the spiritual freedom PCs do, so their path is already nearly impossible to change! Get pranked, idiots! Masquerading as one of Pharasma’s flock comes in especially handy when performing the first and ‘easiest’ ritual, as well, because tending to graves is something the Lady of Graves wants people to do in the first place. Make sure to be careful with how you word your vocal casting away of the god’s will, however, or you may arouse more suspicion than you soothe.

The benefit is subpar. Crafting traps is alright, but you’ve likely got better things to use your gold on--wait, there’s no restriction on the CR of traps you can craft, so long as you can beat the DC and have the gold? Well. Go crazy, go stupid, I guess! Here’s a list of everything you can make! The most cost-efficient and useful, however, is the CR 1 bear trap, which--make no mistake--will absolutely shred lower level encounters, but will lose a lot of its spark later on. At least it costs basically nothing to make! Traps are usually the domain of the DMs, but if you need to hold an area? They can come in very, very handy. Otherwise, you’re just leaving them behind you on lonely roads in the hopes some fool will step on them.

Disable Device is normally the way you want to go, shutting off traps that could be a potentially lethal danger for most of the party at most levels. And, of course, rearming them so some fool behind you can stumble into them later. Even if your adventure doesn’t contain many traps, you should never underestimate the strength there is in doing something as simple as popping a lock.

Boons are acquired slowly: the first once you reach 12 hit dice, the second at 16, and the third at 20. However, the Evangelist, Exalted, and Sentinel Prestige Classes can be entered as early as level 5; doing so grants you the Boons at levels 8, 11, and 14 instead. As Zyphus is a true deity and does not require Fiendish Obedience, you earn the right to enter the classes earlier than those who serve fiends!

-------- EVANGELIST --------

Boon 1: Champion of Cruel Chance. Gain Deathwatch 3/day, False Life 2/day, or Healing Thief 1/day.

Decent all around! And by “decent” I mean “they have niche uses, but shine in those uses.” Healing Thief is the most interesting one, establishing a link between you and a creature you touch that causes the victim to heal only half as much from magical or supernatural means, with you gaining the other half. Creatures who gain Fast Healing or Regeneration through supernatural circumstances can become a boon to you, while enemies relying on Channeled positive energy or in-combat healing will find themselves struggling. The best part is that it doesn’t even offer a saving throw!

Of course, it’s still a touch attack, and you have to remain within an extremely tight radius around the enemy (25ft + 5ft/level) to maintain the siphon. This is a little riskier than I’d like, not to mention it’s completely useless if your foe doesn’t use any in-combat healing. Also, at only 1/day, I’d probably settle for the significantly more boring False Life for a nice 1d10+8 (up to +10) temp HP that lasts for a million years. It’s not much, but you can use it twice and it might stop some scratch damage, and every point between you and 0 HP is nice.

Deathwatch lets you instantly know if you’re looking at an Undead or disguised Construct, which is its primary function in my book. With a duration of 10 min/level, it’s likely to last for entire dungeon floors and makes you an expert at calling out foes who’re on their last legs but otherwise looking healthy. It’s a decent spell if you’re unsure of what you’re going up against or want to be the pointman for your team, but otherwise False Life is the typical go-to.

Boon 2: Resiliency. 1/day, you can gain a number of temporary hit points equal to your Hit Dice, lasting for 1 minute. Activating this ability is an immediate action that can be performed only when you would be brought below 0 hit points, and can be used to prevent you from dying. If you have the Resiliency ability from another source, you can activate these abilities separately or as part of the same immediate action.

As far as I can tell, there is exactly one source for the Resiliency ability as it’s written here, and that’s a single Rogue Talent. It’s... eeeeeegh, not so good. It lets you stall death’s timer for a single minute, usually long enough to end the battle (or be ended) and get some real healing. It will likely save your life at least once in a campaign, but the goal here is to avoid being brought to 0 in the first place! Especially since this will, if obtained ASAP, only shield you for 11 HP, which is one--maybe two--attacks from a creature with a similar CR and basically nothing against spells being flung around at that level. This Boon is actually worse in many ways than just giving +1 HP per HD you have, especially since you technically already have access to the same amount of temp HP in False Life.

I suppose the most amusing use of this power is to fake being down and out until your foe turns away, but that carries risks of its own. If you’re brought to -20 or something and the temp HP only takes you to -5, you’re still knocked out but at least have some mercy time before you start dying for real. I’d advocate for combining this with Diehard if you want to get the most out of it, because otherwise this is an extremely subpar “Life Insurance” Boon that will really only impress the group maybe once or twice in a campaign and be boring or underwhelming in all other moments.

I’d want it to be at least 2 or even 3/day.

Boon 3: Tragic Minion. By spending 1 minute praying over the corpse of a Humanoid opponent or a Humanoid who has died a tragic death, you can summon an Allip to serve you. Unlike a normal Allip, this Allip is of an alignment that matches yours, and has a number of hit points equal to half your total. It receives a +4 bonus on Will saves to halve the damage from channeled positive energy, and it can’t be turned or commanded. This Allip serves as a companion to you and can communicate intelligibly with you despite its madness. You can dismiss it as a standard action. If the Allip is destroyed or dismissed, you can’t summon another for 7 days. This ability allows you to have only one Allip companion at a time.

Oh, that’s cute! You get a little insane friend! Unfortunately, as you can see here, it’s about 10 levels too late to actually be useful. At the level you can finally summon one, your Allips are extremely fragile, as even with their boosted HP they’re still only protected by an AC of 14 and no outstanding resistances aside from their incorporeality. Enemies with magic weapons are almost a certainty by level 14, and even enemies without magic weapons will rarely ever fail their save against the Allip’s Touch of Madness, whose save DC doesn’t scale past 15. You’d be relying wholly on it scoring critical hits, which make the Wisdom damage and drain irresistible, but that’s obviously not viable.

Really, all parts of Tragic Minion are ironically accurate. The Allip can’t even really serve as a scout, because they constantly Babble to themselves in a way that hypnotizes everyone within 60ft of them. Even with their +8 Stealth, a bunch of mooks suddenly stopping and standing still will alert enemies who can succeed the DC 15 Will save that something strange is going on. Adding in that Allips have no ability to hide or disguise themselves, just walking around with one is enough to turn heads. And don’t even think about just dismissing it and summoning another one, or using it in combat with any level-appropriate foe, or this is a blank Boon for an entire week!

Seriously, the 7 day ban on summoning another one is a serious kick in the teeth when the “only one at a time” limit was restrictive enough. You’d think Zyphus would be happy to grant his most powerful Evangelists more than one CR 3 minion at a time, but no! If you lose this extremely fragile minion, no more for 7 days! That’ll teach you to take good care of your toys! And that’s more or less the Allip is; a toy. An accessory.

-------- EXALTED --------

Boon 1: Catalyst of Destruction. Gain Break 3/day, Find Traps 2/day, or Spiked Pit 1/day.

Well I certainly hope there’s traps, given who you’re working for! But it’s good to have insurance that they’re not aimed at you. Find Traps lasts a decent time (1 min/level) and grants a monstrous Perception bonus to spotting them, automatically triggering a Perception check if you draw too close to a trap as well which--depending on how you interpret the spell--alerts you to the fact one is nearby even if you don’t see it. Then you can use Zyphus’ granted +4 to Disable Device to knock it out!

Break can have its uses, shattering enemy equipment even as they wield it. Just remember that targeting an attended object allows the wielder to make a saving throw in its place, while an unattended object gets no saving throw (provided it’s nonmagical). And since Break targets Fortitude, it’s not likely to affect the targets you’d really need it to (Fighters in heavy armor and Barbarians with big weapons), but if your teammates can knock their weapons from their hands, they’re free game. However, the use of Break in combat doesn’t nearly compare to what it can do out of combat; weakening doorways, crumbling containers, sabotaging enemy equipment they’d otherwise grab later, and cracking open items made of skymetal. Note that a second casting of Break outright destroys an item that’s already broken, and you have three each day! Personally, I’d save it for the times you need to sabotage something or bypass a small obstacle, rather than risk a high-Fort-save enemy succeeding in combat and wasting your turn.

And I’ve spoken about Spiked Pit before, here and here, but to reiterate:  it’s a pseudo Save-or-Suck that seriously waste the time of anything without a decent Strength score or some Climb skill as they crawl back out of the pit, while you and your allies either deal with other foes, or rain destruction down on them from above. Even if the victim makes their initial save, the pit doesn’t go anywhere, letting you push your targets in one at a time if need be. Since it’s literally just a huge hole in the ground, you can even hurl multiple enemies inside! AND it’s filled with damaging spikes! The spikes don’t do much, but every little bit helps.

Boon 2: Ever Vigilant. You are protected by a constant Death Ward, The immunity to energy drain ends after the effect has prevented a number of negative levels equal to your Hit Dice*, which resets when you next perform your Obedience. In addition, you gain a +2 profane bonus on saving throws against effects that occur before your first turn in combat.

*it says “Exalted level” but that would mean that this could have zero effect if you don’t class into it, so it’s been changed to prevent it from being a dead Boon.

Huh, this is pretty g--wait. Hold on, let me read this a little closer

“The subject gains a +4 morale bonus on saves against all death spells and magical death effects. The subject is granted a save to negate such effects even if one is not normally allowed. The subject is immune to energy drain and any negative energy effects, including channeled negative energy.“

and what did Ever Vigilant say? “The immunity to energy drain ends--”? But that implies that the rest of Death Ward stays up, right? ... right :)

A lot of Boons grant you an everlasting spell effect for your trouble, but none of them are quite as potent as this one. Death Ward UTTERLY stops negative energy effects, crushing the entire school of Necromancy underfoot, crippling the offensive power of most forms of Undead, and ironically making the devotees of the God of Tragic Death some of the hardest sons of guns to actually tragically kill. Even if an incoming death effect offered no save (such as Power Word Kill), Death Ward forces one, and because you’re Ever Vigilant you don’t even have to know you’re going to face one to begin with!

Also, a universal +2 bonus to saves when out of combat, and for the first round in combat! A nice and cute addition, making it slightly harder for enemy casters or monsters relying on their powers to get the jump on you. Ever Vigilant makes you one of the best Undead hunters out there... Which is why it’s--ironically--tragic that Zyphus, an Evil god, gives it out. In an Evil vs Good campaign, you’re not likely to actually be combating enemies who use negative energy, death effects, or anything else Death Ward protects against. The real sauce in this ability comes from an Evil vs Evil campaign, or a campaign in which you’re pretending to be Good, or at least Neutral! Just... make sure it ends before level 14, because...

Boon 3: Visitor From Abaddon. 1/day as a standard action, you can summon a pair of Greater Ceustodaemons as if with Summon Monster II, and gain telepathy with them to a range of 100 feet. The Ceustodaemons follow your commands perfectly for 1 round per Hit Die you possess before vanishing back to their home on Abaddon. The Ceustodaemons don’t follow commands that would cause them to perform overly good acts or save mortal lives other than your own, and they immediately vanish if your orders contradict these restrictions.

...it’s going to be very difficult why a Pharasmin can summon two daemonic gorilla-men who breathe electricity. Ceustodaemons are bred to be the dumb muscle of Abaddon, but they’re still capable warriors in their own right with decently damaging claws (2d6+6) and a bite (1d6+6) and the ability to exhale 6d6 points worth of Electricity damage in a 30ft cone. There’s also their spell-likes, an at-will Dimension Door letting them infiltrate and scout for you, a 3/day Fly to make your party a nightmare to fight, and a 3/day Dispel Magic to crack enemy magic open.

However, they’re only CR 7, unlikely to stand up on their own against level-appropriate threats. So, the key here? Don’t use them against level-appropriate threats, as is normal with summons dramatically weaker than you are. They’re terrors that shine brightest against enemies hovering around the CR 10 or so range, their resilience and immunity against--and I’m not exaggerating--nearly every status effect in the game except petrification and their DR 10/Good or Silver letting them slug it out with mid-level foes and rip apart nearly anything else lower than that.

There’s also the fact that they can be summoned as a standard action with a range of Close, letting you teleport your gorilla fiends right at the enemy’s vulnerable backline or in front of their melee bruisers to tie them up while the rest of your team flanks. The standard action summoning is the biggest treat here, because being able to have two more beefy bodies available immediately shifts any battle in your favor... But know that if your campaign keeps going past level 14, your gorilla men are going to have a harder and harder time standing up to level-appropriate enemies, and it’ll eventually cause them to be summoned to fight against minibosses only or--eugh--being sent on scouting missions. They’re good at them, mind, but you know how it is.

At their absolute worst, though, they’re still six castings of both Fly and Dispel Magic. There’s worse things out there.

-------- SENTINEL --------

Boon 1: Walking Disaster. Gain Bungle 3/day, Spontaneous Immolation2/day, or Deadly Juggernaut 1/day.

Bungle is a fun spell, slapping a target with an insurmountable -20 penalty to their next attack roll or check requiring a d20 roll, but since the spell is only level 1 and takes your concentration to maintain, it’s not likely going to stick. Granted, it lingers for 2 rounds after you stop concentrating so you can focus elsewhere, so there’s certainly worse spells to use... but it only affects one attack roll or check at a level where most enemies have two or even three attacks, making it significantly less useful than it looks. It’s best if you use it out of combat to scramble a skill check a foe is trying to use, but it’s negated by a Will save entirely so it loses a lot of potential oomph. And I just read the spell even closer and it says it only works on Humanoid targets, so it’s even worse than I previously thought!

Spontaneous Immolation is infinitely funnier to use, anyway. Why make someone flub a speech or fail an Escape Artist check when you could have them suddenly burst into flames from within? With no component requirements, Spontaneous Immolation is TRULY spontaneous, the victim exploding into fire without having an idea of the source. You could potentially make people believe it’s the wrath of your god, the power of some curse you possess, or even the wrath of their god if you can spin it well enough. The damage is middling--3d6--and is halved on a successful save, but it’s got a range of Medium and sets its victim alight if they fail their save so you can create a single spark in a crowd that becomes a roaring inferno as the panicking victim grabs onto whatever they can to try and put themselves out.

As God of Sudden Death, it’s a perfect spell for both in and out of combat, slaying random citizens in bursts of horror and pain they’d have no chance to realize is coming, I’m sure Zyphus approves of using it to malice citizens just as much as he enjoys watching his faith’s foes burst into flames. This leaves Deadly Juggernaut, a spell that a martial character such as yourself would normally LOVE getting... if it weren’t for the final clause stating that the effect doesn’t trigger unless you slay a foe within 4 HD of yourself. While that prevents the effect from being exploited with a Sack Of Rats, it also makes it far less likely to activate if you’re fighting swarms of lower-level enemies. It DOES mean that battling creatures of roughly equal strength to your party has some pretty high snowball potential, but since you, personally, have to reduce the target to 0 HP, unless you’re the party’s DPS you may just end up missing out on most of the spell.

I’d personally just tuck Makes You Explode under your belt each day. If nothing else, it’s a funny prank to pull on the locals.

Boon 2: Tragic Accident. 1/day as part of a successful attack, you can target your opponent with either Inflict Critical Wounds or Poison as a free action. The DC for this ability is (10 + 1/2 your Hit Dice + your Cha mod). You don’t have to declare the use of this ability until you know the attack is successful.

More than almost any other god I think I’ve encountered, Zyphus encourages lying, subterfuge, and you looking as harmless as possible. Even the ostensible God of Secrets and Murder, Norbergorberburgerhurger, inspires less subtlety in me than Zyphus, because his domain is specifically accidental deaths. You gotta make your kills look like mistakes no one could have seen coming, which makes Tragic Accident yet another tool in inspiring fear and terror than actually being useful in a fight.

Give someone a playful slug on the shoulder and scream as they fall over, dead. Deck some guy who’s hitting on you in a bar in the chest and feign horror as he suffers an apparently fatal heart attack as Poison rips through his body. Hit someone with a blowdart or even just hurl a pebble at someone and strike them down with nearly no trace, since this ability can work with ranged attacks as well. Coming up with subtle ways to use this power out of combat is significantly more fun than thinking of ways to use it in battle, because as a 1/day negated (or halved, in Critical Wounds’ case) by a save is just asking to be disappointed.

Especially in the case of Poison, because if you want someone dead in combat, hitting them usually works better than slowly, slowly, slowly hoping and praying that their Con hits 0. Inflict Critical Wounds is a little more useful if you’re using it to speed up an opponent’s death in combat, dealing 4d8+11 (+1 per level) damage... or healing an Undead ally. Yes, you have to hit with an attack, but as I’ve already stated above, the attack doesn’t have to deal much--or ANY--real damage to trigger a Tragic Accident. I do appreciate that Zyphus assures your attack connects before you trigger this ability, a lot of other Boons are not so gracious. Like...

Boon 3: Unfairness of the World. 1/day, you may fill an attack with negative energy. You must declare your use of this ability before you roll the attack roll; on a hit, the target gains a number of negative levels equal to 3 + 1/2 your Hit Dice unless it succeeds at a Fortitude saving throw (the DC for this ability is the same as Tragic Accident’s DC). If you openly wear an unholy symbol of Zyphus, the saving throw DC to resist this effect increases by 2.

... This one!

Hah. Well. Whatever you hit with this is dead. Like, straight up dead. The name of this Boon is as accurate as can be. There is NO recovering from being slapped with ten negative levels (+1 for every 2 levels you have!), because even if your victim survives the initial onslaught of energy, that’s a -10 to every single roll they make and the loss of some or even all of their high-level spells and most potent abilities. This isn’t so much a Save-or-Suck as it is the mother of all signals for your entire party to unload every SoS they have on their person upon your victim.

IF it lands.

Because not only do you have to succeed an attack roll to use this ability or have it dissolve into the aether, but they also have to fail a Fortitude save. That’s two possible points of failure for this ability which seriously reins in its potential, but with just a LITTLE bit of setup you can cut your unfortunate victim in half. It’s definitely both a possible end to a fight AND something you can smite a random citizen with by using the same “things that count as an attack roll” exploits I listed Tragic Accident. By the time you get this power, you can also shamelessly reveal your faith in the Harvestman to make the DC 2 higher, but you may want to keep that to yourself if you’re still masquerading as something else, breaking it out only for boss fights.

Most gods in Inner Sea Faiths leave a lot to be desired, so it’s nice to see a god give so generously! It’s just too bad it has to be the God of Pettiness and Inconvenience.

You can read more about him here.

[sanstropfremir]

ok alright alright alright kingdom episode two

kinda disappointed that they only showed half the stages, but that's just an editing thing to draw out the content so you can air for longer, i'm not super surprised about that. i would have liked to evaluate them all at the same time, but at least this gives me time to go more in depth for all of them since they're full stages this time and I wrote 3000 words for last episode when they only had 100 secs. so this format will probably keep me sane for longer, i think. 

solid stages all round for them, none had especially glaring flaws on the whole. i'm not gonna do a full ranking for this episode since we haven't seen them all, but i will say that btob’s was my favourite from this set and both ikon’s and tbz’s stages were about equal; they both had things i liked and disliked in equal measure so i'm tentatively giving them the same ranking. full opinions and analysis on each stage below the cut, plus another section of general notes because hey what the fuck did you do to that stage mnet???

and for anyone that’s wondering yes i do have the qualifications. also seriously grab a drink or something because this is LONG.

some general notes

and here i thought this section wouldn't be as big as it was last time because mnet was going to get their shit together about the stage design, but noooooooooooo they had to go and make it worse! thanks mnet i hate it! remember how i said you shot yourself in the foot last time? well ya fuckin kneecapped yourself AND all your idols with this one ya dumb fuckin idiots. alright folks welcome back to stage design 101, my recurring segment where i explain the different types of stage layouts and their effectiveness for kpop idol survival shows, i guess.

ok so last week i covered the basics on theatre in the round and traverse staging, which i’ll link here if there’s anyone new or just wants a refresher. i mentioned that its likely that mnet will switch to an in the round style staging because it offers a lot more freedom for camera movement and also for directional blocking. well, i was wrong. so i'm gonna give you a quick rundown of prosceniums. a proscenium, proscenium arch, or just prosc, is an architectural feature that sits around the front ‘opening’ of the stage that delineates the stage from the audience. if you've ever been in or seen any pictures of old european style theatres it can be quite ornately decorated with scrolling, but it's almost always there in most western theatres. it basically provides your ‘wings,’ which are where you exit off into to get offstage, they provide cover from the audience sitelines. pretty much any theatre where the audience is directly opposing the stage across the 180 degree line is a proscenium stage, even if it doesn't physically have the arch. hell, movie theatres are prosc stages. now, there's a secondary architectural feature/device called a false proscenium, where you set a second, smaller archway inside the first prosc, usually done for a specific effect. think of it like a literal framing device; it's often used to visually signify that ‘this is a play, we are telling a story, please be aware that this is a play thank you.’ but sometimes, it can be a semi-permanent structure that’s set in place to narrow the prosc opening. we had this at my university, there was a false prosc set just inside the actual prosc because the stage had a hilariously big prosc opening for a university that never had casts larger than 24 people. so they set false prosc in to make the stage slightly narrower and to widen the wings, because it doesn't matter what size theatre you're in, you always need more wingspace. makes sense? ok, now here’s a very quick drawing of what i'm pretty sure the kingdom stage looks like:

before you get lost: stage directions are oriented to a person standing on the stage, hence SL and SR being reversed. a quick tip for remembering which way is upstage and which is downstage: if you go too far downstage you fall down (most stages are raised between 2-4’ from the floor, so if you step off the end you will actually fall.) the arrows on here signify the entrances i observed during the performances, which is not necessary in this explanation but i just thought it was interesting to note. still not entirely sure what the surrounding architecture is but it appears that the stage is a raised platform inside a room, and not actually built as part of the building. the ‘house’ is just a technical term for where the audience is, and in this case it's where it looks like most of the film crew and the producers/staff are. there’s pretty clearly a platform upstage centre, and i think there may be some others but i don't care about those right now. what i want to talk about is this dumbass false prosc they set IN THE MIDDLE OF THE STAGE. now i suspect that they did this to solve some problems that they could have had that i don't know about, since i don't know who the stage designer was and what the actual limitations of the space are. but basically they've built two stages and stacked them on top of each other to create one very deep stage, and then separated it off with a false prosc in order to control the size of the space a little better, and possibly to add some visual interest. this stage is functional for its purpose, absolutely, and i think, if mnet actually gave a shit about point of view and camerawork, it could produce some really interesting performances. however, because this stage is so deep, it kind of has the same properties as the traverse stage from before, but just with some big led screens in the middle for reasons. you extra have to pay attention to the directionality because you have all the staff and cameras concentrated in one specific cardinal point, so you have to get creative if you want to crossover between the two sides frequently. again, this is not necessarily bad; restrictions often produce some of the most creative decisions.  but! we have not seen a lot of consideration for camera and sightlines and audience pov, hence why i think this setup is dumb: it’s not facilitating the best performances it could.

ok now to the actual performances

btob

this is my favourite of the group because it's very clean lined and utilizes a few simple devices to pretty good effect. i realize these reviews are making me sound like i only like simple performances but i promise this is not at all true i'm just very critical and very picky. let’s start with the costumes, because why not. 

costumes

i like these very much, i love modernized traditional clothing in all forms, and these are very well tailored and well coordinated. they do the bulk of the work establishing the theme for the performance, along with the costumes on the backup dancers. personally i would have liked them to be a bit more colourful, à la the teal detailing that was on minhyuk’s final look. i'm getting a bit tired of the whole trend of having groups only wear all dark or all white, or maybe sometimes red if they're feeling spicy. obviously uniform colour is the easiest way to tie a group together visually, but on a show like this i think the groups would actually benefit more from looking distinct from each other internally rather than establishing the group as whole.

i liked that minhyuk had a costume change but i didn't really care for how it was how it was broken down. this is a very personal quibble because i literally have spent years prepping quickchanges but the method it broke down wasn’t the most visually compatible with the garment and felt kinda clunky. please ignore this anecdote it's just me being picky.

set

i loved the forest! a very excellent way to divide the stage area and obscure the weird stage lines/architecture that mnet has made. plus the snow, flowers, and fog? makes a really sharp and immediately indicative atmosphere, a very good use of visual shorthand to establish place.

i didnt love the screens, they reminded me a bit too much of rolling whiteboards from grade school, but they are thematically relevant. also, i feel like we didnt actually get to see about half the choreo for them? fuckin mnet and idiocy again. fun use of rear projection with the dancers’ shadows, and also good use of them to direct traffic, if you will. 

personally i think that the sheet gimmick from tbz’s performance would have been a better fit here instead of the screens, especially since the fabric motif was already established at the very beginning of the performance. plus you can do some really fun shadow work with a stretch fabric screen. 

personally i think there could have been a little bit more integration between the forest area and the screen area, or they could have done the whole thing in the forest space, but that would require a bit more consideration of camera and choreo maneuverability

sound

really liked this arrangement, obviously the song is iconic but they added a more traditional instrument sound. has good structure for the loose narrative that they had and they were well to label this as ‘theatre’ version because this did follow very closely to a traditional musical theatre sound and style

lighting

no complaints. the overall theme for this episode is apparently blue and red? again with them i like their dedication to a limited colour palette and i especially like the blossoms at the climax

staging

there was pretty clear camera choreo and a minimum of nausea inducing moves. i think some of the effectiveness of the staging got chopped by the editing but that’s not really btob’s fault.

i was just saying i wanted them to give minhyuk some time to shine, i was not expecting to get it so soon! this is a very smart choreo that proves you can be interesting without doing a lot of tricking. minhyuk obviously did a lot of practice and work with that sword, his movements are very fluid and he knows how to handle it. and it looks like its either a blunted proper blade or a correctly weighted replica. a lot of the times when sword choreo looks fake it's because the person either hasn't had enough practice or the weapon is not weighted/weighted incorrectly. only complaints are that you would never hold your fingers/palm that close and un-anchored over the edge of the blade, which is just a safety thing. also you would never scrape your blade on the ground like that, nor toss the thing like dead fish but that's a respect thing with a live blade and this is clearly done for dramatic effect so i’ll forgive it. please ignore this anecdote also it’s just my third dan getting uppity.

ikon

costume/set

smart thematically to go with the sort of miscellaneous 30s-40s (western) aesthetic because it's the fastest way to make it look like you built a theme with mnet’s weird pseudo art deco nonsense they've inexplicably got going on in the set dec. however, they should have stuck the theme all the way through, it would have been more visually cohesive and more interesting. we expect more hiphop/electronic sounding songs to come with these kinds of 4th gen costumes, it would have been anachronistic in a fun way to have them do that second half in 40s style suits. here’s a performance from sdc3 that uses that kind of anachronistic play (this was a combo stage with two ballroom dancers and it has a 20s aesthetic but close enough.) also here’s another routine from sdc3 that does a similar effect on a much more abstract scale, and also it’s a fucking incredible performance and it got slept on by the captains. also yes i know these are incredibly experienced career dancers but they way they construct narrative within their routines and their stage presence is SO GOOD. 

do not speak to me about the backup dancers costumes, holy shit i hate them. i hate them so much. how do you manage to hit too shapeless AND too fitted in the same fell swoop? i'm so mad at these. i'm neutral on bodycon dresses on the best of days but these were absolutely the wrong choice for this stage. generally kpop has abysmal costuming for female backup dancers on the whole but this is just like.....especially lazy. the point of the costume are to help give an indication of where and when you set your performance. they started off with a vaguely 40s theme and then jumped abruptly modern. why? also skirts like that are the literal worst choice for dancing in, hello?? the men’s looks are just sloppy, when you have a garment that big you want it to serve a purpose within the choreo, whereas with this it's just hiding the dancers’ movements.

as for ikon themselves, see everything ive said about black on black on black styling in the previous two reviews. 

the actual set is minimal and that's tragic. i mentioned mnet’s weird art deco theme and it was smart of them to try and play off that with a lack of stuff. definitely a mismatch of stuff pulled from yg’s prop storage, but they made it work as well as they could. no other meaningful comments i’m just kinda sad about it.

sound

the arrangement is fine, no complaints from me. they keyed up the old hollywood style musical theatre sound in the beginning which i really liked. i didn't mind the song/tone switch, i think they pulled it off.

staging

same as btob they learned more towards a theatrical style, which is smart for this particular format of show. i think this was the smartest staging of these three, and also i think the only ones to not get the crew in shot.

despite seemingly leaning into a more old hollywood style the narrative was a bit too loose for my taste. i'm not sure what i would have done to make it clearer at this moment since they had so little to work with, but i did get by on my previous knowledge of the songs. that shouldn’t be the only indication of narrative though! all elements need to support it!!

also like btob they had a pretty intentional point of direction and there weren't a crazy amount of spins. they also used the camera cuts the most effectively that i've seen so far. the first half is actually all in one take!!! incredible!!! thank you!!!! this is how you do it!!

the lighter flick gimmick was well pulled off and a good example of how to use a couple of simple tricks to good effect.

ikon as a whole has really great stage chemistry with each other, and they're extremely cohesive performers. this is a really strong physical performance from them, the dance was very solid and clean. good use of levels without verging into acrobatics. this might be the best group choreo i've seen so far, but we’re not very far so that's not a very high bar to clear.

it's a shame they had the budget of 1 banana.

tbz

i liked this stage better than their intro stage, but i still think they have a long way to go and they're still over ambitious. personally i find stages based on specific pop culture properties to be kind of twee and ineffectual, because it requires a specific knowledge of that pop culture property to work. sometimes the specificity can help with a narrative but you're at risk of alienating a larger portion of your audience out of sheer non-knowledge than anything else. 

costumes

again, interesting garments physically, but not much clarity of relation to the theme other than the colour. also the backup dancers???? another case of backup dancers being from an entirely different stage, what is up with those coats/dresses? looked more like they belonged in either sweeney todd or a vampire movie. 

hands in front of the camera again, but these were used much more effectively.  i'm not the biggest fan of mixing metals and i’m partial to silver on the whole so i didn't love the jewelry, but at least it was vague and stereotypical enough to denote ‘fire magic’ even if it does rely on a derivative middle eastern shorthand.

set

the stage set itself is fine, although definitely feels a bit haphazard to me. doric columns and frozen rocks and whatever that cover for the pyrotechnics was at the front, combined with the candles and the chaise lounge? like ikon, it felt a bit like they were pulling out of the props/set storage. not that all these things do not work together, it's just that you need a thread to tie them together, and this didn't have that for me.

sound

it's a crime they have a song called ‘no air’ and its not a jordin sparks cover. just saying.

i didnt really like this arrangement, again like their intro stage it didn't have a strong structure that suited the narrative, because they were pretty clearly trying a narrative on this one. also were most of the adlibs playback? they were singing live but there were so few shots of anyone specific singing. 

lighting

probably the weakest of the three. the projection design was a bit too tacky for me, and although i appreciated the small amount of variety in colour, it felt way too concert-lighting for me.

staging

the editing on this stage is wack and did no one any good. the hands leading/pov was a really smart device and they should have stuck out the one takes like ikon did, it would have made the whole stage feel a bit more cohesive. a lot better directional camerawork from them this time around, well done. again with the hands in front of the camera gimmick which i actually preferred this time, since they were a part of the narrative. the stretch/silhouette fabric i think they pulled off quite well, even if it didn't really fit thematically with the piece. i actually worked on a show a very long time ago that used this exact same effect with dancers and also rear shadow projection, and it requires a lot of rehearsal and trust to pull off well, so props to them. i think it was the wrong choice because there isn't an established motif for the fabric, so it kind of appears out of nowhere for one specific visual moment and then disappears, and i think that time could have been better served for something else narratively relevant.

again, these 4th gen groups are overly focussed on gimmicks as a way to make up for the lack of experience. personally i think this will be detrimental in the long run, and a reliance on gimmicks means that you don't trust your performers. tbz have the manpower to be doing some pretty cool collective dance work and i dont think its being trained or utilized correctly. they are suffering from a lack of cohesive stage presence right now and that can be fixed with training and time.

this might be because the group sizes are so different between these three but this choreo is very directionless. mnet is also providing to be absolute garbage at editing and i feel like i can't see the choreo at all.

this is a thing i've noticed with kpop camerawork in general, there’s very little regard for actually viewing the choreo as a singular work. and for some reason the camera always needs to be moving???? people do actually want to see what’s happening on the stage. the choreographer can only see from one spot, so from that spot is how they are intending it to look. you wouldn't need to upload full cams of every music stage if you just filmed the choreo properly in the first place. if you watch the two sdc3 clips i linked you can see a clear difference in maintaining the integrity of the choreo, even though both shows use several cameras and a lot of cuts.  obviously for kpop you want the money shots of idols’ faces but i definitely think there’s a healthier middle ground than what we have now.

ill wait for full subs but i want to know where in the fuck in sk you can rent a tank thas clearly been custom made for underwater photography, because that’s extremely cool even if it was absolutely unnecessary to the actual stage itself. i can think of several ways off the top of my head that would have achieved that same freezing effect without any of that wasted time and effort.

mnet decided to drop full cams while i was writing this and despite watching those my opinions are the same.

in conclusion, some more general thoughts:

i think ikon and btob got it right by leaning more into the theatrical than the cinematic, if that makes sense. i might be talking up my own ass here but these are theatre performances, and they should be treated as such. trying to do things that you can do on film isn't going to do you any favours in the long run, and it makes it harder to make a cohesive performance. i’m harping a lot about narrative but it is so important to performance. although it is not technically necessary, when doing big theatrical performance stages like this it does help with clarity of intent and general success. humans have brains structured around storytelling, it is literally the way our history has been passed down for tens of thousands of years. the atlantic published an article recently on narrative and memory, and it's a really excellent read for maybe after you've taken a break from this behemoth, oh dear god. 

tldr: the stages were good but disappointing in their own ways. mnet continues to sabotage via weird stage design decisions and bad editing. see you next week! (or in my ask box if you have questions)

[sugar-petals]

This's been on my mind for awhile and i just wanted to know if im the only one: im both a hard and soft stan for all the bangtan boys but I just can't read any y/n x hobi kind of fics cause it feels weird?? Like I thirst over him (im not saying i dont think he's sexy, handsome or anything, cause he is!!) but it doesnt go so far from that. i cant picture myself dating or *being intimate* with him the way i do with the others..but why?? Maybe its the image he transmits?Wanted to hear your thoughts

as a general note first. it could be any member that a fan might feel more platonic about: simply a matter of character, looks, perceived connection. as you say, it might be that he sends out something else to you. that being said —there are two components to talk about here.

I. ON HOSEOK WRITERS

you’re very right about how sometimes, there’s a strong lateral portrayal going on if an idol fits a particular stereotype. you might be able to picture yourself in a scenario with a member, but it’s not something that’s written in the fandom. maybe because authors didn’t think about it. or maybe it’s unpopular. or not agreed on. several reasons can coincide.

fact is, image can for sure steer the way x reader fics are made. a lot of stage, photoshoot, and MV moments inspire many writers. you do have to say that it’s not all there is though. there’s a portion that gets ideas from backstage anecdotes. and a third fraction comes up with something on their own. a fourth wildly mixes everything. a fifth portion has someone else in mind but writes person XYZ instead. a sixth uses a mainstream porn or twt/tiktok trend as the basis of the character (... uncomfortable). a seventh author uses their life experience. another author replicates a popular book/movie. and so on.

hobi x reader writers have good reasons to get the first of inspo from his performance work where he shines. he’s the most stage-savvy member after all. they might get stuck there and not go any further because there’s already a lot to say about him going all out there. you might feel a way different atraction if someone wrote about a more private hoseok, or not, who knows? if there was some material about that. it’d be interesting to see how it plays out. advocating for some domestic hobi right here 😄

II. ON J-HOPE AND THE FANDOM

another fandom dynamic and bighit strategy that contributes to the effect. i always get the feeling he’s shown to us or shows himself in a more restricted, media-conscious type of way. more professional, less transparent. he’s not yoongi baring his most hidden concerns all day. he’s more sleek, not a target sphere of vulnerability or directness. 

it’s not about privacy, but opinion: we know his family and hobbies and personality, but seemingly not the innermost hoseok. he’s the member that projects the most out but nobody can venture in. extroversion is a better shield than most people think. even if he says something very intimate, or raps about it, he keeps his smile on, and it takes the attention away. namjoon lets us gaze into his mind and strikes that tone, hoseok remains more elusive. his role in the team fortifies that, he doesn’t have to do the concept work that RM/suga do as producers.

a fanfic plot needs some degree of that innermost being in any kind of portrayal to really get to a reader. jimin is so desired as a date by many because he carries a lot of things about him on his sleeve. someone who decides not to do that will leave people guessing and unsure. it’s not always the looks: the idol who’s the least blank slate in a group is often the most beloved. 

they’re easier to picture as your counterpart, an emotional bridge is easier to build. again then — some advocating here: doesn’t his professionalism make hobi even sexier? i find that mature and reasonable of him. you can imagine how seriously he’d take a relationship, and he can separate between his different worlds very well. hobi treats being an idol like an idol. 

the prevailing problem is. hobi’s already shown in body focus, that he’s the dance headquarters of bts doesn’t help, and fans can only pick that up, or spin a 2D narrative of him. it’s been discussed often that hoseok handles stardom and self-reveal with more distance, he chooses to protect himself more than the rest. so what i think is that you have problems going past superficial thirst because 

a) hobi hardly shows himself past his performer self by choice

b) the company promotes him that way

c) the fandom can’t go deeper than that either, on what basis. so, his stage presence and thirst potential becomes overhyped instead. 

which is a testament to his talent but also a tale on how you can fetishize someone: as is often pointed out when people only look at hoseok based on how he can grind his hips in choreography omitting everything else about him. it’s because there’s no going further and deeper from either side. it’s agreed upon and part of the game, but it’s also sad that hoseok uses that blank slate to stay safe, or whatever reason is behind it. it’s business right there.

honestly, it IS a strong kind of strategy to prevail and keep your grind. a lot of idols could benefit from having even a tinge of hoseok’s approach to fame. if he becomes less in reach that way but he rather enjoys him image and fans go along and he’s okay with that, it’s something to deal with in a manner of, hey we see the actual point of it. 

he doesn’t have to feel reachable or as vulnerable as other members opt to be, and the idea of hoseok is that he’s the sun in the first place. it does you good but getting so close isn’t the purpose 😉 some people are more meant to shine from way above. you see how namjoon is the moon man, much nearer to earth, revealing itself up close. you get the analogy, and we get back to the first paragraph like this, it always comes down to character after all.