#but at the same time LOATHE many of the people involved

[abirddogmoment]

perpetually pingponging between having competitive dog ambitions and wanting nothing to do with the dog community ever again 🏓

[lesbianpepsi]

Fuck it I love you

pairing: sam carpenter x fem!reader

summary: When paired with Tara Carpenter for a project you were expecting a B or maybe even an A. Not falling in love with Tara's older sister, Sam.

series masterlist

words: 2.320k

warnings: mean sam, light swearing, reader being down bad for our sammy, bad writing

authors note: alright my darlings the first chapter to the sam mini series as promised. the wonderful anon who requested this, my dear i am so sorry it took so long for me to get to this. although it's taken a while, i do hope you still enjoy this! feedback and comments are greatly appreciated:)

The wonders of college. 

You get to meet new people, explore your sexuality, party like there’s no tomorrow, try new things and staying up till three in the morning  crying over a piece of work that’s due that very morning that you decided to wait till the last minute to do only to instantly regret it, saying you’ll never do the same mistake next time but  knowing deep down inside you will. 

And of course the trials and tribulations of group projects. Something everyone loathed, and if anyone said otherwise they’re lying. 

You have never been a fan of group projects; so when your professor announced that you’ll be doing a pair project you couldn’t tell if you wanted to slap him or cry. Probably both. The absolute worst thing about projects that involve more than one party member is awkwardly asking a stranger if they’re willing to work with you.

That’s why when you heard that familiar sweet voice speak to you, you couldn’t help but smile. 

“You cool with doing this together?” Tara Carpenter asked you with a nervous smile. 

You and Tara aren’t exactly friends, more like acquaintances; if one missed a presentation the other would give them their notes to copy off of, saving a seat next to each other, saying hello if you ever see each other around campus. 

It isn’t the fact you don’t want to be friends with Tara, she seems like a really kind woman but she’s quite distant and quiet. You can’t judge her or shame her for it since you’re shy, awkward and always in a state of anxiety. 

Maybe this would be the push to make you and Tara become friends. 

You smile at the brunette with an appreciative gleam in your eyes. “Please. I was already planning a speech on why the professor should allow me to do this alone.” Tara laughs, covering her mouth with her hand as the corner of her eyes crinkled with delight. 

“Lucky for me then.” Tara stays silent for a few moments before she added. “Do you wanna just get the whole awkward phone exchange now?” 

You chuckled, nodding your head as you dug out your phone from the pocket of your hoodie, unlocking it and passing it over to her. Tara stares between and your phone almost bewildered with the fact you just passed your phone over to her without hesitation, rather than just saying your number. 

She slowly takes your phone and adds her phone number into your contacts texting herself before passing it back to you. You smiled at her as you pocketed your phone back into its original space of your pocket. 

___________

A few days have passed ever since you and Tara exchanged phone numbers but no plans had been made on when you two should start. You refused to leave this till the last second like you’ve done so many times before, swallowing your nerves you unlock your phone and send Tara a message.

Me (11:32am): hey tara it’s y/n from class, i was wondering what day we can meet to start our project. i was thinking we could meet in the library whenever you can :) 

Instantly you shut your phone off after the message is delivered; there always has been something so weirdly intimidating about messaging someone you don’t really know. Deciding to distract yourself you go make yourself a sandwich for lunch, leaving your phone in your room. 

After two episodes of New Girl and a delicious sandwich had been eaten you returned to your room in search of your phone. Flopping down on your bed you grab your phone and see Tara has messaged you back.

Tara (12:15pm): hi y/n:) if you’re free we can meet today to get started on our project? the only issue is that i can’t come to the library

Me (12:23pm): im more than good with today!! :D

Me (12:23pm): do you wanna come over to my apartment then??

Tara (12:24pm): actually is it alright if you come over to my apartment, around half two?

Me (12:24pm): yeah idm, just as long as we start it lol. where do you live?

Tara (12:28pm): the apartment complex near Blackmore, apartment number 56

Me (12:28pm): okie dokie, see you soon :D 

Tara (12:29pm): 😊👍

You grinned to yourself slightly proud you’ve decided to be smart and start this project early. You just hoped the actual planning of the project would go just as smoothly. 

___________

At two you decided to leave your apartment, wearing a simple white shirt along with some mom jeans. Not even ten minutes into your walk it began pouring down with rain, leaving you sprinting towards the complex as your heavy backpack hit your bag with every step. 

Slamming the double door entrance to the apartment complex open, you instantly gasp for breath as water drips off of every part of you. 

How fucking typical. 

You pull out your phone and with wet fingers you send Tara a quick message before slowly starting to walk up the stairs. 

By the second floor you started to get tired, by the third you began wondering why the fuck there isn’t an elevator in this place, by the fourth you’re questioning your life choices and by the time you arrive on the fifth floor you’re breathing like a life long smoker who just ran towards the store after noticing they’re out of cigarettes.

Like a zombie you walk over to the apartment door with the number ‘56’ on it, sluggishly you raise your hand and knock on the door two times.

After a painstakingly long time a woman answers the door, and you’re pretty sure your heart explodes at the sight of her. 

She’s got olive skin that looks so irresistibly smooth, dark brown eyes that glared at you, she’s around the same height of you if not maybe a bit taller. She’s leaning against the door frame as she’s only opened the door a small amount so her figure could be shown. 

Her lips are pulled in a tight straight line as her arms crossed over her stomach, the tight grey vest top she’s wearing showing off her impressive biceps. She’s glaring at you with her cold eyes as she glowers down at you. 

“Who are you?” She asks in a voice that is ever so raspy, her eyes gazing up and down your body. Your ears burn scarlet red at her eyes checking you out as you stare at her in awe. “I’m, uhm, Tara’s project partner. Y/n L/n.” You stutter out as you can feel your heart beating erratically in your chest. 

If this isn't gay panic you don’t know what is. 

“Why are you so wet?” She questions with judging eyes.

‘Cause of you

“It started raining after I left my apartment and I didn’t bring a coat.” You explained with a nervous smile as you locked eyes with the woman’s. 

She hummed as she turned to look behind her, after a few seconds the door opened wider and Tara appeared next to the woman, the height difference between the two almost making you laugh.

Tara smiled a small smile to you before it faded and changed into shocked one. “You’re soaked.” She states in a matter of fact way. You laugh nervously as you nod your head, rubbing the back of your neck with your hand. “Started raining on the way here.” 

She frowned concerned as she took a step back, allowing you to enter, while the older woman still stayed in the doorway, glaring daggers at you. You swallowed nervously as Tara glared at the woman. “Sam, she's fine, don't be a bitch.” 

Sam

Sam stares at you for a while before she reluctantly leaves the doorway and back into the apartment, you smile at Sam’s behaviour as you turn to look at Tara.

“Sorry about her, she's just really protective over me.” Tara apologises with a smile as you enter the apartment, closing the door behind you. 

As you get a good view of the apartment you notice two other people talking to Sam, you've seen them around Blackmore.

The three of them are glaring at you as they whisper among each other. When they notice you’re looking at them they silence, all silently staring back at you.

Without thinking, you wave your hand at them as you smile. “Hi, I’m Y/n. I’m pretty sure I’ve seen you two before around campus.”

Tara doesn’t allow you to say more as her slender fingers wrap around your wrist as she drags you towards the dining table, your eyes remained on her beautiful sister Sam.

“I'll get you a towel, you prepare.” Tara tells you with a smile before taking off. You nod your head as you do as she said, take off your backpack and take out everything from inside it and place it onto the table.

Tara thankfully returns a few minutes later with a towel and a dry hoodie, she passes them over to you.

“You can borrow the hoodie if you want since your shirt is more than less see through.” She says with an amused laugh, you look down at blush at the fact it’s quite obvious you’re wearing a black bra.

“Thank you.” You tell her with an embarrassed laugh as you shamelessly take off your shirt and throw it into your bag before putting on the hoodie. It's warm and slightly too big for you, but you don’t mind it. 

Grabbing the towel you place it under you, making sure you wouldn’t utterly soak the chair from the rain on your pants.

She gives a smile before she begins talking about her plans on what you two could do, stretching to reach the notebook full of notes you had brought with you. 

You tried listening to Tara, you truly did, but not even five minutes after Tara had begun talking Sam had entered the kitchen to make a drink.

Suddenly every word Tara uttered it went into one ear and flew right through the other. 

Her back faced you as she grabbed the glass from the top cabinet, not even having to go on the tip of her toes to reach it, something the shorter Carpenter would definitely have to do.

You smiled without noticing the longer you gazed at the gorgeous woman as she carried on making her drink. 

“Y/n.” 

You snapped your head back at Tara who had her eyebrows raised. “Did you listen to anything I said?”

Sam turned to look at the both of you as she leaned against the counter, sipping her drink. Her eyes focused on you as she drank at a slow pace.

You smiled nervously at her to which Sam only scowled back at you. 

“Yeah, uhm, work and stuff right?” You waffled with a smile, Tara simply sighed as she shook her head. She went to say something but got interrupted by her older sister.

“Is that my hoodie?” Your head whips back towards Sam’s direction, Sam’s eyes focused on you. You blushed as you noticed Tara and let you borrow McHottie’s Sam's hoodie, not hers.

Your fingers toyed with the bottom of the hoodie nervously, before you could reply with utter gibberish Tara answered over you. “I let her borrow it since she was completely soaked.” She explained with a brief tight smile.

Sam hummed as she dropped the glass onto the counter. “But why give my hoodie to her? Why not yours?” 

“Because It was closest to me, Sam. Jesus she isn’t going to do anything so calm down.” Tara defended you in an annoyed tone now, her eyes glaring at Sam as she leaned on her hand. “And tell Chad and Mindy to cut it out with the staring.” 

“I can give it back if you’d like?” You gingerly asked. Both of the girl’s heads snapped towards you at your words. 

“You don’t have to-” Tara started before Sam interrupted her speedily 

“Yes. Give it back.” She demanded, pushing herself off the counter as she advanced towards you. Without hesitation you ripped the hoodie off of you, pulling it over your head quickly as your shirt rolled up with it.  

You smiled sweetly at her as you passed her the hoodie with your right hand, your left hand not so subtly pulling down your shirt. Her fingers grazed over your knuckles as she retrieved the jumper from your hand, her eyes ogling at your shirt momentarily. 

Her eyes connected with yours again as she pulled the hoodie to her side, she glowered over you as you looked up at her with a nervous smile. 

She’s so fucking pretty, oh my fucking-

“Don’t give my stuff out again, Tara.” Sam told her sister as her eyes stayed glued to yours, “Sure, whatever, will you just leave now?” Tara says with annoyance clear in her tone, Sam stared at you for a few more seconds before she fulfilled her sister’s wish by leaving the kitchen silently. 

Your eyes followed her leaving until she was out of your sight. Your eyes landed on the glaring twins to which you smiled awkwardly at them before you returned your attention back to Tara. 

The shorter girl huffed as she flicked through a few pages of a notebook. “Sorry about her, she’s just really protective over me.” She apologised again.

You smiled dreamily at her as you thought more of the older sister. “You don’t have to apologise, it’s actually kinda sweet.” 

Tara gives you a funny look as she snorts a laugh, her fingers finally stopping as she lands on the particular page she was looking for. “You must be delusional if you think Sam is sweet.” 

Guess I’m delusional then, you thought with a smile as your eyes gazed over the half full glass Sam had left in the kitchen. 

[fairydares]

loook i get why the idea of riding the "anti/pro" fandom disk horse makes people gag a little in their mouth and try to opt out entirely, but here's why i went from feeling exactly the same way to taking a firm profiction stance. I've been meaning to make this post for a while.

~10 years ago, I posted a fic for the first time and it got its own harassment campaign. The fic wasn't even sexual, and wasn't going to be (it remains incomplete). It was accurately rated T on fanfiction.net. Anyone in the Fairy Tail fandom will understand this: I literally got harassed for writing a "Lucy leaves the guild" fic💀.

After many nice comments, someone left a pretty nasty one. Hurt, I messaged them back. They acted super attacked that I'd responded (lmao) and after we argued, threatened to "rip my shitty story apart in the comments section" if I responded again. I told them "go ahead lol."

They went ahead.

Now know that it was a relatively small harassment campaign, but at the time, it was devastating. Right around then, I wound up in the hospital. After I got out, I went to excitedly check my fic, and found several reviews saying things I wouldn't repeat to my worst enemy. I was suicide-baited more than once, told "thank fuck you finally abandoned this shitty story, dumb cunt," stuff like that.

There were several accounts involved, and I can't say for sure, but I suspect at least a couple different people were involved, though probably at least half of it was one person.

All the other comments were screeching about how I hadn't updated, mostly. "NO UPDAAATEE WHY DOES THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS TO MEEEE??!!!" was one that stood out after I'd been miserable in a hospital for an extended period of time.

Idk what people think is going on when FT fic authors write this trope, and frankly I don't give a fuck. Because while I was partly writing the story out of some young, cringe feminist rage, I also did genuinely have a real story I was compelled to tell. I was inspired by another, popular fic I loved which used the trope to talk about how trying to shoulder our burdens alone really just hurts both ourselves and everyone who cares about us.

My own story was ultimately going to have similar themes, with more focus on strength, what it means, and in what contexts earning and having it actually matters. In retrospect, no wonder I wound up in hot water, because at the time "Lucy vs. Strength vs. Misogyny" was the FT fandom's Designated Nonsensically Activist Debate™. But that's partly why i wanted to write about it; engaging with the fandom had gotten me thinking about it 🤷‍♂️

Not too long after that, FFNet oh-so-benevolently granted us the ability to delete comments from our own stories (they never took my reports seriously at all, afaik). I deleted all or most of the harassers' comments (may still be a one or two up, and i'm fairly sure there's a couple comments defending my fic from the harassment) without saving screenshots, which I really regret now. I was just so mortified and full of self-loathing about the whole thing that i wanted to forget it completely. Something that had brought me joy at a very lonely, vulnerable period of my life had turned so negative, and i couldn't even tell the people closest to me about it without being made fun of for writing anime fan fiction.

I didn't understand why this happened at the time, but--after a period of trying to forget/bid out of it all with a slight anti lean (a common approach I see people use, and one which I'm not proud of adopting)--I just had to figure out What the Fuck Even Happened There. And I'm telling you, after years of reflecting, wrestling with both sides, and educating myself, that this "status quo of harassment" culture which pervades fandom goes way deeper than you think and comes out of a way darker well than you probably realize. An astonishing amount of this is, quite literally, TERF shit and evangelical shit.

Trying to be in fandom and take a stance of, "Anti/Pro shit? Ew, I'm Not Touching that," is like swimming in a heavily polluted river and being like, "Poison? Cringe. Not me lol."

You might be lucky enough to be in a less-polluted part of the river (AKA a relatively non-toxic fandom, in which case good for you!)...but tbh this rhetoric and peer-signalling will still seep in.

I can't stress enough that pro-fiction, AKA "proship", is the normal, leftist-about-art-and-sex opinion. Pro-ship is against all the horrible things you're against; in fact, pro-ship isn't trivializing real trauma by equating it with fictional trauma, or trying to apply literal evangelical/radfem solutions--which are proven not to prevent or help. Profiction/proship is literally just saying, "Fiction is fiction, reality is reality, and the two don't have a 1:1 relationship. And historically, trying to censor just things we've decided are bad has done nothing but get LGBTQ+ and POCs censored. Therefore, depictions of illegal things shouldn't be censored." That's it. "Proshippers all ship problematic ships," is a brazen lie. Many of them share other fans' disgust for those ships, they just don't believe in censoring fic authors over it.

It is also taking a stand against harassment because--and I hope my own story has helped drive this home--as with all groups who adopt ingroup/outgroup thinking, antis are defined by their tactics, not actual stances on real, serious issues. What happened to me was absolutely a result of anti, "it's okay to 'bully out' anything I just don't like" mindset pervading fandom. In a way, this was the mindset's final form. They didn't even feel the need to cite a reason the trope was "bad" or "wrong"; it annoyed them, and they viewed their own feelings as a valid enough pathway for policing to go right ahead and do so.

In the interest of offering solutions instead of just bitching about problems, I might make a "how to know if you've bought into these types of views"-type post sometime. Also might come back to this and provide some sources/citation.

[oonajaeadira]

For the Love of Fic: December 9

I'm doing my best to get through my massive reading list by the end of the year, so buckle up, fam, you're about to get served a buffet of fic. There's so many tasty morsels here, even Mama Flores has to appreciate this feast.

🪐 = Year of Themed Creation Fics!

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FRANKIE MORALES

Sheer Desire by @the-blind-assassin-12 Okay so imagine you're Frankie's +1 to a Millerboy wedding. And there's dancing and yearning and flirting involved. And the knowledge that after the reception, you're going to have him all to yourself. Now add in black thigh-high nylons. And the desire to see them in his hands. And his desire to have those lacy tops pressed against his ears.... IT'S HOT LIKE FIRE. DID YOU THINK IT WOULD NOT BE. GO GET IT.

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #2: Frankie Morales - Kiss in the Hammock by @something-tofightfor I mean, who doesn't want to be cuddled up in a hammock with Frankie? Who doesn't want those soft curls and soft lips and warm arms all pressed up against you?

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #12: Frankie Morales - Kiss in the Dark / Break Up Kiss by @something-tofightfor A little angst and a lot of love are on display here. Frankie's here to show his responsible and protective side, and while there's plenty of hurt, he does it oh so softly and I'm just glad we are left with hope.

2023 Summer Kiss Prompt #14: Frankie Morales - “I miss you” Kiss / Angry Kiss by @something-tofightfor So remember that hope I just mentioned up there? Same pairing here, and the hope pays off. It's not without some real talk, but perhaps that's what makes the love even more deliciously sincere.

The day Frankie both loves and loathes the kitchen counter by @undercoverpena This is such a wonderful domestic Frankie POV piece. The way he wants to be better for reader, to provide more, to keep promises...the way he adores everything about her, including how she loves to bundle up in his clothes... Getting a peek inside a man who is sweet and loving and seeing the motivations there is such a treat. I really got swept up in this one.

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MARCUS PIKE

The Thing About Second Chances by @artemiseamoon 🪐 This is exquisite. The pain of walking away really hurt. But then, when they met again it is so masterfully done...there are all these little impulses of his, wanting to do everything for her that could easily be overbearing except that he's just so damn loveable and it's hard to watch two people who clearly live each other be denied. I'm not sure he can really change all that much, but I am really pulling for them. Sometimes a little time apart can really drive home how much you can miss someone. Beautiful.

The Moon in May - Full Moon by @hopeamarsu Alpha Marcus. and. sitting on lap. purring and. teasing and soft and spreading you open but requiring go slow. is a tasty treat. brain mush. purring chest at my back. yes please.

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JOEL MILLER

Something Wild and Unruly by @ezrasbirdie Okay, remember when I said that there was a fic that was so beautiful it made me want to quit writing? This is it, and I mean that as a high compliment. Like, I finished it and just put my head in my hands and stared out the window with a big smile on my face. It's outlaw!Joel and old west sex worker!reader with a heart of gold and a good attitude about what she does. It's got so so so much feels and yearning and softness and bathing and the ending is beautiful and full of hope...this fic is up all of my alleys and making all of my jams and is my entire life mood. It is my new official Fave Birdie Fic™️ and I need to sing that to the world.

Small Joys: Wheelbug by @keldabe-kriff 🪐 The whole point of Lyr's Small Joys series is just that--joys. So it seems antithetical for Ellie to have found a bug that's big and bitey and for Joel to freak out about and try to bat it away. But the joy part of it comes from reader's reaction--to the wonder at finding a wheelbug in nature where it wasn't expected--and Ellie's, who of course will always find wonder in something new. Simple and beautifully done.

Small Joys: Leaf Pile by @keldabe-kriff 🪐 Yes, the joy here is jumping in a leaf pile, but the joy I got from it was being able to hear Joel and Ellie perfectly in this. I also love the process Ellie gets to have in collecting the leaves and talking to a neighbor. It's really delightful.

The Sun Will Shine Again by @foli-vora I can't imagine dealing with crippling depression during the years after the outbreak, how hard and crippling it would be. And yet, I think I'd be able to manage if Joel was on my side, telling me he'd carry me as long as he could just to make sure I made it through. This is just such a beautiful piece. I want to curl up in it like a blanket.

Tangled Triumphs by @planet-marz1 I think my blood sugar levels hit an all-time high with this one and I ascended into the heavens. Joel learns to do Sarah's hair and it's so sweet and precious and I love them. Please read this. I need other people to share my squeals.

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JACK DANIELS

Cast Iron Sunshine part 1: Think I'll Call You Sunshine and part 2: Daisy by @blueeyesatnight Color me intrigued. We got ourselves a cocky cowboy in the wild west and a female doctor reader with some determination, sass, and willingness to sport a revolver, and I want more of that push and pull I'm sure is coming. The first meeting is just enough tingle to rub my hands together with glee. HE'S SUCH A SHIT. But then comes Daisy and she's here to lay some hearts open...

What Happens in Vegas.., ...Never Really Ends in Vegas, and Forever by @wildemaven A beautiful drabble trio that encompasses the realization that you've accidentally-in-Vegas married Jack, trying to quit him, and being unable to do so. Do yourself a favor, don't think about it too hard, and give into your cowboy.

Remember Me by @toomanystoriessolittletime This twisted my little heart and melted me in so many ways. When Jack is brought back and can't remember his girlfriend? Can I just cry a river? No worries though, the ending's a happy, hopeful one.

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DIETER BRAVO

Thought That I Was Dreaming by @haylzcyon Salty, spicy, and sweet all at once...this may just be my dream Dieter smut. I very much love a "did he really say???" but then the reason for her not asking was perfect. How does Haylz make the very filthiest filth the sweetest sweet?

Sleazy Santa by @morallyinept This what happens when Dieter's not an actor, just a tremendous sleezebag working as a mall Santa (he's respectful to the kids) and you can't stop wanting that scummy D and go bang dirty in the Grotto. There's candy cane action. It's real nasty. And written like a fkn gourmet meal. The sweatier Jett writes this slimeball, the more I want. I don't know how. It's like Christmas magic. Delicious.

Crawling Back to You by @prolix-yuy This fic is a feast and all of my favorite dishes are on the table. Monsterfkn. Demons. Blasphemy. Sexy contracts. Dieter being a menace. And softness????? This is smut and it is hot hot hot, but there's enough here that's sweetness and fondness that it's going straight to my forever faves list. HE RUINS HER SO NICELY. UGH!

Rendezvous in Reno by @theywhowriteandknowthings A Dieter with small-dick insecurities? Please and thank you, this is super cute. I'd love to get called out for describing his junk wrong in my fics and get a personal correction.

It's Never Over by @pennyserenade We don't get enough exes-to-friends fic around here, and this one is really nice. As much as I hope for them to connect again, I respect their love for each other and their need to just let themselves be special to each other. There were moments here that were bittersweet, but I really loved that about it.

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DIN DJARIN

Birfday--Din by @writeforfandoms Listen. Is it so wrong that I want to cook a nice breakyfast to show Din how much he's loved? Is that too much to ask? Thanks, Jen, for something soft and sweet.

Then We'll Find Out Together by @missredherring A lovely little drabble about settling down in a new home with Din, getting used to the slowness and softness and niceness of everything. And when reader can't sleep, the one thing that's familiar--Din himself--is what calms her down. A lovely little drabble that I would like to live in.

Bounty and Hunter by @never--doubt 🪐 A soulmate fic wherein soulmates can't hurt each other. How interesting then that one of you is being hunted...and makes quite a game out of it?

Significant by @softlyspector He's been calling you riduur for months and you still don't know what it means. Once you find out, that's when the fireworks start. I don't know that I've read dialogue for Din and his sweetheart that affected me the way the last two lines of this fic did...... *swoons*

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PERO TOVAR

Watercolor by @iamskyereads I mean, give a sellsword a bath and you may be in for trouble. But not this man. This man just needs a little care, and while he may not say much, he make good on all kindnesses. I would do anything to give this man a bath and have him speak kindly to me.

Date or Inseminate by @sirowsky Now listen. You're gonna have to read the warnings on this, because I for one get really squicked by dub-con mixed with medical malpractice. I didn't read the warnings and it came out of nowhere....but I'm telling you my eyebrows shot up and then I just giggled through the whole thing like WHAT IS HAPPENING. Sometimes fic is just there to be fun and slap you silly. IRL? No please. But this? Go in with the right mood and it's just strangely and shockingly delightful smut.

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JAVI GUTIERREZ

Formula 101: December to Remember Part 2: Take What Comes by @littlemisspascal There's a lot to love about Rae's F1 media fic. Even outside of the easter eggs in the worldbuilding and the lovely way Javi and Oddball's relationship develops, there are the delightful media interludes--emails, texts, instagram posts complete with character comments--that use pictures and dialogue to move the plot along in a unique way. I love how a short text chain not only sets up a later story locale, but illustrates a history and relationship between two characters so fluidly. Every chapter is a delight to see how the media enhances the storyline...a storyline that is moving in a very interesting direction...

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SPECIAL GUEST CORNER

BO KATAN KRYZE

Hiding Away from the Galaxy by @ghostofskywalker 🪐 I love a good reunion story. Here, you're an ex-Jedi who has a past with Bo and come to find her when all the wars are done. I'd agree that it's worth the wait when she takes you in her arms....

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MARC SPECTOR

My Knight in White by @flightlessangelwings 🪐 Jey's been doing a year of protectiveness, and you know I don't mind that AT ALL. I would love nothing more than to have Marc follow me home and protect me. And then, yeah, if he let me follow him home...and into his bedroom....I wouldn't complain..... *swoon*

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[the-kinnie-in-me]

Okay, well then I hope you don’t mind me returning with yet another request. I can’t help it, I just really love your writing <3

I would love some headcanons for tasm Peter falling in love again for the first time since Gwen (god, just typing that made me tear up lmao)!

Take your time, have fun with it, and have a lovely day/night :)

A/n: This has been in my ask box for so long holy shit- I'm so sorry about that. I was on an intense writer's block and I think the fact that its Valentines' Day where I'm at kinda inspired me. This is not my best work since romantic writing isn't my cup of tea 😭 But I still hope you enjoy this-

𝐓𝐀𝐒𝐌! 𝐏𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐆𝐰𝐞𝐧:

⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎⚠︎

(I’m basing this off before he met the other Peters btw)

Let's start with some pre-relationship stuff-

I don’t really see it as love at 1st sight

It might take some since yk- his ex died because he couldn’t save her

How much time it would take would depend on how persistent you are in befriending him 1st

 There's definitely some remaining guilt and self-loathing so please be patient with him

He’s still a nice and friendly person so it isn’t that hard to befriend him 

In other words- You’re gonna have to buckle up since you’re about to experience the slowest slow-burn friends-to-lovers in history (Tho the fluff post and pre-relationship make it worth it)

Now onto the relationship itself

Aunt May adores you

She saw how you make her nephew happy after what happened with Gwen and approved of you immediately

“I saw how that boy mourned Gwen. I raised him for most of his life and it was devastating for me to see him like that. Then he met you, it was like it never happened and he was as happy as he was before. And I can’t express how thankful I am to you.”

We all saw how much effort he put into his and Gwen’s relationship- He would do the 1000% same thing with you

This is a bit angsty but- It just doesn’t feel the same?? THO IT DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH HOW MUCH HE LOVES YOU- When he was doing that stuff for Gwen he had a lot more self-esteem if you get what I mean?

HELP HIM GAIN HIS CONFIDENCE BACK

There have to be a lot of words of affirmation in this relationship homeboy needs it

After he gains his confidence it's mostly rainbows and sunshine

The reason why I say mostly? The topic of Spiderman.

I mean- He would tell you but he doesn’t want you to get involved 

He is very much persistent about that

He will give you every reason to not  get involved 

There’s honestly no win in this situation

If you don’t get involved you worry about him daily

*Peter enters your bedroom through your window*

“The hell happened this time?”

“They um- got me pretty bad”

You rush to grab the First Aid kit

“Yeah. I can see that.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“I’m not mad.”

“Are you sure…Because your tone kinda says otherwise”

*Sighs* “I’m not mad. Just stressed and worried because of you.”

If you do get involved he worries about you daily

“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?!”

“SAVING YOUR ASS”

Or

“What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be out doing Spiderman things?”

“Yeah about that- Whatever I was fighting got away and it seemed pretty pissed. I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t gonna be petty and go after you”

I just realized the majority of this has been angst or about Gwen’s death in some way-

He doesn’t confront people when jealous

Poor boy just wants to leave with you beside him

He tries to hide it but it's kinda obvious

Tease him about it and see how long it takes for him to admit it I wanna test a theory

He is a total softy for you

Why can’t I find a bf like that on E-bay

A sane amount of PDA

Like hand-holding, falling asleep on him (albeit accidentally), and kissing on the cheek

He likes cuddling in private tho

Everything he does for and says to you just seems to be genuine-

A gentleman that was raised well fr

He will do so many things for you that it's concerning how fast he agrees,

“Hey Pete can you-”

“Of course”

This is entirely my opinion/ idea of him- I don’t see him calling you any pet names besides the occasional “babe” 

BUT- the amount of love and emotion traced whenever he just simply says your name makes up for it completely

Before I end this I just want to make 1 thing clear-

You are NOT a rebound 

He will do anything to prove that he never considered you a replacement for Gwen the moment he senses you feel that way

In his eyes, Gwen is his past 

In his eyes, you are his present and future

In his eyes, you are his everything.

[nana-mania]

“BIRDS OF A FEATHER” you and him are soulmates...

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛oneshot

࿐*ೃ feat : nahoya kawata

࿐*ೃ fandom : tokyo revengers

࿐*ೃ extra : fem! reader, yandere! reader

.࿐*ೃ trigger warning : sorta graphic details of torture scene, bdsm, yandere behavior, blood

╰┈➤: ̗̀➛ OH, you were so in love.

Seeing him for the first time painted your grey world with kaleidoscopic colours. Hearing his attractive voice made your heart skip a beat that you recorded his voice everytime he was talking near you. Seeing his big smile never cease to brighten up your day.

Since you were only a child, you used to loathe school as you despised being forced to socialize. You preferred staying at home and isolated yourself in your personal sanctuary also known as your bedroom, the only place in this world that made you feel safe. But since you met him, you started to like school.

Nahoya Kawata was his name. Such a beautiful name fitting for a perfect man like him. People around, especially his twin brother, addressed him as "Smiley", referring to his tendency to smile almost all the time. You yourself had never seen him without a smile before.

He was charming, cute and funny.

You started interacting with him during your first year in highschool though it was mostly one-sided. Around that time, Souya, his twin brother, was absent to school so Nahoya attended school alone. Not to mention, that was his first time showing up at school ever since the new school year started. Unfortunate for him, that day, the teacher assigned the students to complete an assignment in pair.

While most classmates had found their partner for the assignment, two students remained alone. Those two students were you and Nahoya. The teacher forced you to pair up with him even though you firmly assured you were capable of finishing the assignment alone. When Nahoya approached you and sat in front of you, your world suddenly stopped turning. Your heart beat rapidly in your chest as your gaze landed on him.

At the moment you saw his bright smile, something inside you...changed.

"This is shit and I suck at this subject. My bad but I have to leave everything to you. You don't mind, do you?"

You were at loss for words as Nahoya had finished talking. You tried to speak but your voice cord didn't work, as if refusing to cooperate. You ended up staying quiet the whole time while Nahoya giddily led all conversation. He barely did any work yet you didn't care. You finished the assignment yourself and still gave him credit.

It wasn't his fault he couldn't contribute to the assignment. You were too nervous to talk to Nahoya properly. His flirtatious voice, his cute laughter made your heart fluttered with excitement.

How was it possible for a single man to make you act this way?

Nahoya and you had been in the same class since first year of highschool. He skipped school often so you ended up stalking him outside school hours. For two years straight, you stalked him, learnt many things about him and fell in love with him more everyday.

Now, you both were in third-year. You barely saw Nahoya on the first year of high school as you knew he was involved with lots of gang activities. But he came to school more often these days. You heard rumors that the gang he joined had disbanded around the time you and him were about to finish first year of highschool.

Seeing him at school more often was a blessing for you. Not only you could observe him more but you could stare at him all day while he was busy spacing out in class. Watching him doing silly stuffs like annoying Souya, doodling questionable things on his desk, dozing off during lesson.

It wasn't that hard for you to watch him as Nahoya sat next to you.

Regardless of the joy you felt, there was a downside to this change in Nahoya's life. Considering he presented himself to school a lot more these days, many of your female classmates started to pay attention to him. His bright personality as extrovert made him approachable hence unsurprisingly, he got along well with the rest of the class.

You didn't want to lose him. You couldn't let other girls stole him from you. So you decided to change yourself to be in the same league as him.

You developed your communication skills, enhanced your charm as a woman and improved your seductiveness. You even changed your style, from head to toe, but the external change wasn't as tremendous as your internal change. It wasn't like your old self was completely gone. You were just...pretending to be a friendly, cheerful trendy girl to protect your loved one. You would not lie, you were proud of yourself for the dedication you poured into this. Now, there were two popular figures in class.

Nahoya and you.

While you were adored by the boys, Nahoya became the major heartthrob for the girls. Despite undergoing such massive transformation, you were yet to have the capability to interact with Nahoya properly. Both of you were like strangers in class now.

Nahoya used to greet you everytime he saw you but now...he no longer did that. He became cold out of nowhere. He greeted everyone in class except you. You were heartbroken but you didn't give up. After all, what's love without a few obstacles and hardship? This was a test for your loyalty and love for him!

You needed to do everything in your power to fix this situation then win his heart.

One of your female classmates organized a party. She came from a rich family so the party was a luxurious one. Everyone was demanded to wear fancy garments or they would get kicked out.

"Anybody who dresses like a damn hobo doesn't deserve a place in MY party!"

You weren't a huge fan of fancy dresses and you had no interest in attending the party. Of course, you had to take part because Nahoya would be there. You couldn't let it slide. That girl, the party host, had a huge crush on Nahoya. If you didn't join the party, there was a chance for her to steal him from you.

For once, you asked your parents to buy you something. They were more than glad to buy you expensive goods since you were their one and only child. Plus, you were very "well-behaved" in their eyes. When you asked them to buy you something, they were overjoyed. You never asked your parents to buy you anything. Only this time, you had to as the dress you wished to own was over your budget.

You made the right choice. The dress looked perfect on you. Not too revealing, easy to move around despite being a dress and you could potentially outshine the party host, also known as your female classmate, your current rival.

You were the center of attention at the party.

Everyone's eyes were on you as you casually walked around the host's fancy house, quietly enjoying the food and pretending to not notice the eyes studying you. Even Nahoya couldn't take his eyes off of you.

"Hey, (L/n)... Mind some company?" A boy, one of the attractive boys in your class, offered you a drink. You accepted it with a smile even though you were mentally gagging at the way he smiled at you.

You want Nahoya to smile at you like that.

The boy's smile widened before he boldly wrapped his arm around your waist. Now, you weren't expecting for him to be so daring. You chuckled awkwardly and tried to push him away. "Hey, save that for later. Why don't we chat first?"

You made up an excuse and he bought it. He began happily talking to you, discussing about your "transformation" and how much he had been attracted to you since then. Occasionally, his eyes would flicker from your eyes to your lips. His hand started to slowly rub your hips.

"You are eager, aren't you?" You managed out while cracking a fake smile, cringing at your own words. He brushed it off with low chuckles. You then looked away from him, your gaze landed on Nahoyaand a girl who happened to be the host of the party.

Oh, you were boiling with rage.

The girl was flirting with your future husband, her arms wrapped around his neck as she playfully caressed his fluffy hair. You wanted to go over to them and smash her head into the wall repeatedly until she dies. But you had to hold back that dangerous urge.

"So, (L/n)...why don't we-"

"Fuck off."

Too tired to keep up your fake facade, you left the boy perplexed as he questioned himself where he did wrong. You walked away from him and you glimpsed at Nahoya once again.

He was looking into your direction.

You didn't know if you were imagining it or if it was real. But you were in hurry and couldn't think straight.

You needed to plot your revenge.

When the party was over, you approached her. "Hey, (Rival/name)." You greeted (R/n) joyfully, pretending as if you were delighted to meet her. She was shocked as she thought everyone else had gone home. "What the fuck- Why are you still here?! Go home!" She shouted at you, displeased with your presence.

"Chill, Young Lady." You sarcastically remarked, handing over a glass of water to (R/n). She looked at the glass, glaring at you. "Stop pretending to be nice, attention whore." She spat at you, swatting your hand away from her. The glass fell from your grip and dropped on the floor, shattering to thousand pieces.

"You became the center of attention by dressing like a slut and now you want to tell to my face how better you are? FYI, I only invited you because you are an eye candy to the boys. If I didn't, none of the guys would agree to come, even my own boyfriend. So shut the hell up and leave my house AT ONCE." (R/n) shoved you with a bit force. You were forced to step back a few metres from her.

The rich girl suddenly chuckled, throwing a dirty look at you while presenting a smirk of victory. "But hey...you didn't get the special attention from Nahoya-kun. Oh my God, he was so sweet just now. I kept losing track of time because he was too good at flirting."

She was lost in her own made-up fantasy, imagining things that didn't actually happen but it happened in her own perspective. Nahoya didn't even flirt with her. Most of the time, she was the only one talking. The conversation was practically one-sided.

Hearing that, you were on the verge of losing your temper.

"Nahoya-kun is much better than my current boyfriend. That asshole can't keep it in his pants. You must be happy to steal his attention from me. But go ahead and have him, (L/n). I'm gonna dump that dumbass anyway-"

Before (R/n) could finish talking, you tackled her to the ground and strangled her with all your might. She kept thrashing and struggling under you, her legs kicking back and forth to free herself. Her choked scream couldn't be heard by anyone considering she was alone right now.

There were only you and her in the house.

Her face was turning blue, her eyes rolled back into her head. Saliva dripping down the corner of her mouth, her erratic movement gradually came to a halt. When it fell into silence, you snapped back to your sense. You observed the woman underneath you, lifeless. You didn't feel an ounce of sympathy at all. In fact...you felt contented.

Your rival...was gone. No one would get in the way of your love again.

At least for now..

"...I need to get rid of this bitch." You exclaimed calmly.

Lucky for you, you already got your driving license and owned your first car, which was also bought by your parents. They bought it as gift for passing your driving license test. You loved your parents so much.

You drove back home, dragging the body down to the basement and took out your circular saw, originally owned by your father. You didn't forget to put on the raincoat to cover yourself. You dismembered the body of your rival, the raincoat you were wearing now drenched with blood. Your face darkened with madness as you witnessed the gory sight of your dismembered, dead enemy.

Once the dismemberment was done, you shoved each of the dismembered body part in a black garbage bag. There were six garbage bags in total, which meant you had to throw these garbage bags at six different places to avoid suspicion.

This was your first murder yet you were unfazed. You soon stored all the trash bags in the car boot and drove away from your house.

You drove around the neighborhood and other neighbourhoods to find the incinerator area to get rid of the dismembered body parts perfectly. It was late night so no one was out. Most stores were close except for some shops which were opened for 24/7.

Unbeknownst to you, you ended up in the neighbourhood where Nahoya lived as you were to absorbed in getting rid of the body parts.

You found another incinerator area which was left unattended. No camera, completely unlocked. You smiled in relief. This would be your last stop before you could go home and rest.

You got out of the car and took out one last trash bag...which contained the head of (R/n). You went over to the incinerator and opened its two doors. You were eager to dump it when you suddenly heard a familiar voice.

"(Y/n)...is that you?"

Your heart beat faster in anxiousness as you instantly recognized the voice. How could you not? That sweet, seductive voice belonged to your crush...you would never forget it.

You turned to Nahoya, standing still as he fixed his gaze at you. You were frozen in fear as you were exposed, not to mention the witness was the man you loved. Due to panic, you dropped the trash bag. Tears were pooling in your eyes. You crossed your arms over your face as attempt to hide from Nahoya. "N-No...I can explain myself-"

"Oh, you are getting rid of "trash" too~♡" Nahoya exclaimed playfully, his grin widening with excitement. Confused by his words, you hesitantly looked at him. He approached you but you stepped back, still feeling nervous with him.

"Say, why don't you try peeking inside the incinerator properly first?" He whispered into your ear eagerly, making you feel weak in the knees. You did as he asked, taking a look inside the incinerator. Your eyes grew wide in astonishment. You didn't see it earlier considering you were in rush.

There was already a body inside.

The body of the boy who flirted with you earlier.

"What...did you do this?"

"Obviously."

Nahoya suddenly grasped your waist. Your face heated up from the physical contact. "I can never forgive anyone who tries to make you theirs...(Y/n)." He whispered into your ear. You tilted your head up, your body heat increasing.

"I thought...you hated me. Because you suddenly stopped talking to me."

"That's your fault for becoming too popular. You suddenly changed and all boys paid attention to you. I should be the only one giving you attention."

"I just wanted to become someone of the same league as you."

"I prefer the real you, (Y/n)."

When you heard that, your heart jumped in happiness. You weren't wrong to fall for Nahoya. He...loved you for who you were. He saw the real you, not the you who masked yourself with fake cheerful personality to grasp the hearts of others.

"Man...we share so many similarities. You got rid of that annoying hag for me? Thanks, (Y/n)♡." He chuckled happily. "You must be tired from this, right? Now...why don't you..." Nahoya unzipped the bloody raincoat with his gloved hand. He removed the raincoat and your rubber gloves, dumping them in the incinerator. "Leave the rest to me, okay?"

You stepped back and let Nahoya finished your job. He picked up the trash bag and dumped it inside the incinerator before switching it on. Nahoya looked like he was used to doing this.

And all of sudden, everything clicked.

This explained the disappearance of some male students at your school.

You realized that lately, some boys from your school had disappeared mysteriously. And all of them were the boys who confessed to you. You brushed it off as coincidence. It never crossed your mind that someone was doing that kind of job...for you.

'He...has been getting rid of those boys...for me? Nahoya did? So, our feelings are indeed...mutual.' your face intensified with bright blush, fascinated by the efforts he did behind your back.

You were not the only one in love. Nahoya felt the same.

When Nahoya was done, he walked back to you. He pinched your chin between his fingers, brushing your lips with the tip of his fingers. You still had a little blood stain on your face and ankle but not even a moment, Nahoya showed a hint of disgust. In fact, it turned him on.

"So.." he paused, then wrapped his arm around your waist. "Why don't you show me your place? There must be lots of cleaning left for you to do.."

"I can help with that."

You did. You brought him to your place.

You couldn't resist him. The way he smiled at you as he politely asked to see your place melted your heart. And the fact that he kept rubbing your thigh as you drove earlier... My god, you almost went insane.

Nahoya assisted you with the rest of the cleaning, from the circular saw to cleaning the whole basement, leaving everything spotless and flawless without any dirt or stain. You told him to make himself comfortable while you go to take a quick shower.

' He is in my house... He IS in MY HOUSE..'

You couldn't stop thinking of the things you had fantasized to do with Nahoya..

'What if he asks to go to my bedroom..? Oh, God... I will never be able to hold back myself anymore..'

You left the bathroom and put on your favourite pajama. You went over back to the living area where you found Nahoya waiting. He seemed to be inspecting your family photos. "Mhm..she is so cute.." Nahoya muttered to himself whilst studying a picture of you as a kid. You were raising a trophy high in the air , one that you won during your kindergarten Sport's Day.

"There is nothing interesting here...just a.."

"A cozy house perfect for a small family. You have loving parents."

"Your parents are nice too."

"Yeah but my mom is hella scary and crazy when she is mad. Always hitting me with her sandal, especially when I prank my twin brother."

You laughed along with Nahoya upon hearing the funny story. Silence filled the room as he continued inspecting each of your family pictures. You walked close to him before hugging him from behind. Nahoya stayed still, feeling your arms around his waists wrapped tightly. He placed his palm on the back of your hand, rubbing his thumb soothingly. "What's wrong, (Y/n)?" He chuckles then intertwined his fingers with yours.

Nahoya grasped your hands and untangled your arms from his body before turning you around, pinning you against wall. He nestled his knee between your thighs. Heat rushed up to your head at the position you were in right now.

Nahoya leaned closer to your ear, whispering flirtatiously, "Can't resist me anymore?"

Nahoya looked at your face. You were staring at him, with lovestruck gaze full of infatuation. God, how he was so in love with that gorgeous gaze of yours. "We are really birds of a feather, huh?" Nahoya exclaimed, pinching your chin between his fingers and pulling you close to his face. His lips were only inch away from yours.

You were frustrated. Nahoya was a huge teaser. He knew you were going insane right now, desperate to have his lips locked with yours. And he was enjoying every second of your frustration while his knee pressed against your covered lower region harder. "Who would have thought my innocent, quiet girl...turned out to be a cold-blooded killer like me?"

"You are indeed my soulmate, (Y/n)."

Without wasting more moments, Nahoya smashed his lips against yours. Your eyes went wide but you melted into the kiss in an instant. You wrapped your arms around his neck, his arms slithered around your waist. "Nahoya," you moaned out his name softly. "I love you so much."

"Oh, (Y/n)," Nahoya whispered into your ear, his lips planting wet kisses on your neck. "I fucking love you more." He chuckled when he earned a loud moan from you. "Mhm, fuck. I love your voice so much..cry for me, (Y/n)."

"I'm gonna make you cry out my name until you fucking pass out,"

You would be lying if his words didn't turn you on. There were heart shapes in your eyes as you started rubbing your clothed private part against his knee. "Please," You begged, "Make me yours, Nahoya. I belong to you, only you."

"Fuck yes, you are." Nahoya was delighted. He kissed you again passionately, his tongue never stop exploring the inside of your mouth. You kept staring at him with infatuation.

Finally, he became yours.

࿐*ೃ thanks for reading this short scenario! likes, interaction and reblogs are deeply appreciated ♡

[xceanlynx]

I don't think Ray has ever really loved Mew romantically. Not ever.

The thing is, when you are deprived of love your entire life, it's very hard to differentiate between platonic love, romantic love and gratitude.

Ray was at his lowest. We still don't have enough information to understand exactly how his familial relationships shaped him as the person he is, but from what it was implied, he never really felt like he belonged to anywhere, to anyone. His understanding of love is already distorted - the person that society says is supposed to love him the most, his mom, didn't love him, or she did in a toxic, abusive way. The only person close enough to him to form a similar bond (the bond of healthy dependency) with was Mew.

Ray never had love before Mew. Not from his family, not from other friends, not from himself. How could he differentiate between all of these kinds of love? No one would be able to.

Mew saved Ray, who already saw him as his bestest friend, the one he could count on. Saving him from his attempt just solidified it in his mind - Mew is the one who could save him. Mew is the only one that showed him love, true love. But Ray doesn't understand that there are different kinds of love. A friend's love can be just as strong as a lover's love for someone, but they are still different kinds of love.

To Ray, if he lets Mew go, he will be letting go the only form of love he has ever known. He sees Top as competition because he doesn't understand that love can have different facets (also Boston is feeding his ill brain with shit but that's just a small part of it all). He is afraid of being in that position again, of being lonely again, when no one - not even himself - loved him. He is afraid that, when a newcomer arrives in the friend group, a player, someone that "obviously" do not love Mew the same way as Ray does, and Mew actually likes the player back, he will be set aside. Because Mew likes someone romantically, and romantic love is more valued anyway, so no matter how many times Mew says he loves Ray, it will not be enough. I could write an entire book about this specific topic through an aroace lens, but this is not the point of this post.

Now we see Ray, after being rejected by Mew (rightfully so - Mew did a very good job setting and enforcing his boundaries), seeing in Sand another person that could love him, that could take care of him when no one else would. There is hope, in his perspective, that another person can and will love him. He even begin to repeat the same patterns he experienced in his life with Sand: asking him to curse him won't bother him because it's what he was used to his entire life. That's normal life to him. That's what people who are supposed to care about him do anyway (Mew being just enough outside of the standard to make Ray obsessed). What Ray still doesn't know is that NO OUTSIDE LOVE can save someone.

What I mean is, the only hope for Ray to live a joyful and fulfilling life, is if he starts loving himself. It does sound cliché, but it's true. No amount of love from other people can save someone. It's not family, friends, lovers, or even God and religion that is going to save someone from themselves. They can and do absolutely help, but at the end of the day the willpower must come from inside. His self loathing, his hatred, his low self esteem caused by whatever trauma he holds will only get better if he works on himself of his on volition. For Ray to understand it, I'm afraid only with psychological and medical help - and this is how other people can help.

I have high hopes for his character development. As someone who went through similar stuff (don't worry, I've been through years of therapy and it had no hard drugs involved), some scenes can be quite triggering, but I still very much enjoy what they are doing with his character, by far the one I can relate the most. Ray is a complicated, flawed character and definitely not the cup of tea for everyone in audience, but I can't help being fascinated. I do hope his development won't fall flat at the end of the series.

(also, Khaotung made me cry again. Thank you for your acting, sir. I know you will destroy me eventually.)

[foxybananaaaz]

2k Words

Please read Starting Over to understand what is happening here.

Lucien Week, Day Two :: Style.

No matter where Lucien goes, he maintains an impeccable sense of style. @lucienweekofficial

It had been six months since he moved to the Day Court and it wasn't that Lucien didn't like living in the Day Court, because he did. He absolutely did. It was just that he wasn't ... Lucien was working on adjusting to the lifestyle of the Day Court. The way things worked. Customs. The way of life.

He was not yet announced as Helions son, and for that, he was grateful. He was not sure he was ready for the whole of Prythian to look at him as if he were different. As if he were not the same male he had always been before. He was especially not ready for the way this would affect his mother.

He knew his father would be embarrassed and would 'have a discussion' with his mother. At least, that's what his father always told the servants. Everyone knew what 'having a discussion' meant though. But no one would speak against his father, lest they- No.

The male was not his father. Had never been. He'd only raised Lucien, the two of them believing him to be his father. This had been the hardest adjustment to make.

While Lucien had loathed the male for most of his life, Beron had still raised him as his own son. He always made it very clear what he thought of Lucien, but he still raised Lucien as his own son. It was very difficult to stop calling the male father.

He was trying, though, because he could see, when talking to Helion, every time he slipped, Lucien saw the anger in Helions eyes, barely hidden. The first time, Lucien apologized. Shocked, Helion told him not to apologize, that it was not his fault. He was frustrated that Beron was the one to raise him, and got that title, while he was left in the dust.

Even though he was told that anger he saw each slip was not his fault, Lucien still felt more guilty than the last. But, he instead would change the topic, swiftly, and expertly, trying to convince Helion that there must be pants he could wear, that fit the attire of the Court.

Three months later, and still Luciens status in the Day Court remained a mystery to the rest of Prythian. Though he was hearing whispers all over during his travels, and everyone had now learned of his move. Someone was a quick gossip. In his line lf work, Lucien had quickly learned that, unless the information was life threatening, he was to always wait many months more than this before gossiping, so the people involved would not have their heckles rise quite so high. Just as Luciens had been at that moment.

The gossip was crucial, and he would often recieve more truthful gossip in return. But the only people who knew, were Elain, Feyre, Rhysand, Helion and his mother, as well as himself. Unless others knew, and would let the secret out, thus putting his mother in harms way, and-he wasn't paying attention, as someone bumped into him, spilling their deep red shirt all down his rediculously expensive coat.

He'd bought it with Tamlins' money, back when they were friends. When Tamlin didn't care about Lucien using his money, as long as he looked the part and did his job. Thinking about it now, he didn't feel bad about using so much of Tamlins' money. Tamlin didn't care. He didn't even ever notice it he had so much. Lucien could have gotten fifteen of these expensive coats. The coat that was now ruined.

He heard Feyre call out from across the tavern, something about Mr. Stylish, not being stylish now. Lucien felt his cheeks warm.

He honestly didn't know why Feyre would choose this place for her birthday. Or the night before her birthday, really. He also didn't understand why she would insist on Lucien coming as well. But an invitation from Feyre was not to be ignored.

Lucien simply shrugged out of his jacket and decided to give it to some female who was just about to leave. It was December, and he didn't want her to freeze. He didn't notice as a golden brown haired female walked up to the female, demanding the jacket, while offering her a different jacket in return.

That Solstice night went slightly differently. Upon opening his gift, Elain actually smiled. She didn't look at him or thank him, but she smiled at his gift for her. It was simply an ornate decorative glass box, with different items inside.

A dried out flower her father had given him for no reason, the day they met, the ribbon that was holding his hair tied back that fateful yet awful night for her. A rose from the Spring Court, magically preserved to forever hold its lively beauty, because, even though he doubts she would go there after hearing her sisters stories, and he would not go there outside of work, he still thought the Spring Court held the most beautiful flowers he had ever seen.

And, possibly the most important was when he had asked Feyre to paint a memory for him, small enough to fit in the box.

The small painting was a memory. A memory of their father, standing on the beach of the continent his three personal ships in view, and while he sailed on The Nesta to battle, this memory had him smiling softly up at The Elain, because he knew how much it was her dream to visit the continent.

Lucien wasn't too much a fan of the continent. Though he had only been on sand for most of his time there, and then getting on the ships to sail back. Then the trip back, it was fine, he could have done without the salty sea mist. Between that and the sand, he lost so much clothing. Which reminded him to look into Day Court attire that would be appropriate, yet also suit his own tastes.

Coming back to, Lucien noticed Elain was looking through the box, carefully looking at everything, being ever so gentle as if it all might disintegrate in her hands. Lucien nearly lost his breath, as well as the capability to breathe when he noticed that she was still softly smiling at it.

Four months later, and rumors were flying everywhere. Eris had mentioned during their meeting two weeks prior that their father was getting rather frustrated with them all. That he was preparing to formally call Lucien home, because, according to Eris, his father- Beron had been saying repeatedly, that no son of his should be spending any time in the Day Court, or it's filth.

A rage rose in Lucien, that was wholly unfamiliar. It took a minute, though Lucien did manage to stamp it out. Eris was not the one in the wrong here. He debated telling Eris, and wondered if he could trust his brother.

He was the oldest, clearly the Heir set to inherit the powers and title of High Lord of the Autumn Court when Beron dies. He had been there when Jes... When Jesminda was taken from him. Had helped take her. But he also helped Lucien escape. He's the only one of Luciens brothers who remained civil with him after Lucien left. Actually, his whole life. He would be there to cheer Lucien up when his father was extra cruel growing up.

Before he fully decided what to do, the words were out of his mouth. The first time, he had actually said them. When telling Helion, he was stumbling so much to actually say the words Elain had stepped in to say them. Helion is my father, Mother had gone behind everyone's backs, and with Helion, she made me. Lucien stood there, shocked that the words just came tumbling out, as Eris stood there, shocked at the words in general.

Lucien explained how he was not going back to the Autumn Court and that technically their father... Eris' father could not make him. But one thing, before Lucien could even finish his sentence, Eris picked up on what he was saying and finished for him. They agreed that when news got out, if their mother was still in the Autumn Court, her life may be in danger.

Eris told Lucien to give him some time, but he would ensure that their mother would be out of the Autumn Court before the following month.

Lucien, not wanting to go back right away, decided to walk for a while, rather than winnow. He walked a good two hours, even after it started pouring rain. He did winnow, after his clothes were completely soaked through. But not to the main house. He winnowed to the seamstress across the Day Courts main town.

He explained to the male running the shop that he needed a wardrobes amount of Day Court attire, fit for the High Lord. But it must have pants. He agreed to a sheer, sash, thing, that went from the pants over the shoulder. It also had a gold band on the inner side of it.

As the seamstress was putting together his new wardrobe, something caught his eye off to the side. Walking over, Lucien studied the golden item. It appeared to be an arm band. Where the two sides met, they curved upward and downward to form a snake.

Finishing up, the seamstress walked up and noticed Lucien studying the snake arm band. The male commented on how it would match Luciens eye. He then explained that many have wanted the arm band, as it was exquisitely designed and crafted, though he would not sell it. Lucien then tried to return the seemingly priceless item to the male, but he would not take it before continuing his explanation.

He would not sell it, waiting for the right fit. Lucien seems to match the arm band, and the arm band matches Lucien. The seamstress gave Lucien a knowing grin before insisting he keep the armband free of charge.

After paying for his new wardrobe, Lucien then asked if the seamstress had a room he could change in. He needed to get out of the soaking wet clothes. Gratefully, the male had a room and was more than willing to let Lucien use it, insisting Lucien leave his soaked, ruined clothes in the waste bin.

As Lucien returned to Helions' house, not ready to have the conversation that Eris now also knew their secret, he paused. Lucien looked down on himself. Helion had been adamant he go all out and get a wardrobe of Togas. Lucien was set on pants. Now he was about to walk in, in Day Court attire, in pants.

Standing tall, Lucien took his ribbon and tied his hair up, something he always did to help him feel brave. After tying his hair up, he walked inside.

His wardrobe must have already arrived then because Helion was waiting for him as he walked in, looking as though he was about to say something, but then stopped.

There Lucien stood, infront of his ... In front of Helion, with a smirk, that one might consider fox-like.

"Did you really think Togas were the only thing that could be styled correctly in your Court? Give me any odd thing with a pair of pants, and I can create a style that would outshine nearly anyone within a block." With a quick glance down at the sheer sash, as well as the armband he was wearing.

Lucien smirked at Helions' stunned face as he walked past him, onward to the room Helion had put him in. Lucien stopped when he noticed his jacket, the one that had been ruined by the strangers red wine, the one he had given to the random female so she wouldn't freeze while walking home, was sitting, folded on his bed, cleaned, without any hint that it had been stained.

Walking closer, Lucien noticed a note.

Dont worry, I gave her one of my sisters.

But as for this?

I am the only one who gets your jackets.

Between this, and the smile as she saw his gift, and her help telling Helion, and her even telling him to begin with... We're he and Elain becoming ... friends?

He could have sworn he felt the faintest tug in the centre of his chest in response. But he was probably imagining it.

To continue on to Part Three, Click it's title, Masquerade.

The image of the glass box below is the glass box Lucien gifted Elain. Obviously it doesn't have all the correct items, you'll have to use your imaginations for those. But this is the glass box he gave her.

Art of Lucien by ellyness5

For Luciens Day Court Attire, that's brought up a few times in this one. The image above is the one I'm working off of, but obviously not where Lucien is High Lord. More like Heir. Because as much as I love giving people heartbreaks(hello, reputation), I won't kill Helion.

[just-late-roman-republic-things]

Alright, so if we filter out Plutarch and Suetonius' more dubious claims, what was Caesar up to during his early career? How did he go from "running from Sulla's death squads" to "elected praetor and pontifex maximus in the same year"?

Here's what Robert Morstein-Marx thinks he did, up till 63 BCE:

Military service in Asia Minor, during which Caesar won the corona civica - sort of like a Roman medal of honor for courage.

Got appointed to the college of pontifices in absentia, thanks to family connections on his mother's side. (Notably, this also indicates the Sullan-dominated college didn't see him as a threat for being related to Marius and Cinna.)

Prosecuted those dudes from the Sullan death squads - and so did many other senators, including Cato, who wanted to make a name for themselves. Prosecuting corruption in general was a popular tactic for newbie politicians.

Got himself elected as military tribune, then quaestor, then aedile. Although it's true Caesar spent a lot of money as aedile, and probably went into debt, this wasn't unusual for a Roman senator, and several other aediles are known to have out-spent him.

Restored Marius' monuments - and pissed off his pontifex colleague Catulus in the process. Catulus loathed Marius, but by the time of Caesar's aedileship most of the Senate and People favored moving on, and didn't see Caesar's actions as seditious.

Allied himself with Pompey - as did many others like Cicero and Gabinius. Caesar did support bills in favor of granting Pompey new commands, but he probably wasn't a notable voice at this time.

Prosecuted C. Calpurnius Piso, proconsul of Cisalpine Gaul, for allegedly violating a Roman citizen's rights. Piso was declared innocent, but this did set two patterns: 1) Caesar's support for the residents of Cisalpine Gaul, and 2) Caesar's ability to really piss off the wrong people.

Got elected praetor and pontifex maximus in the same year. This was his first really unusual success, although not without historical precedent. It also made Catulus hate Caesar for beating him in the election. Oops.

Opposed executing the Catilinarians. This was his first break with Cicero (who got over it) and Cato (who didn't). The enmity entrenched here with Cato, Catulus, Piso and Bibulus would carry on for the rest of Caesar's career.

And here's what Caesar probably didn't do:

He wasn't involved in the so-called "first" Catiline conspiracy, which appears to have never existed, either with or without Crassus as a co-conspirator.

He almost certainly wasn't involved in the real Catiline conspiracy, either. In fact, Caesar actually helped Cicero investigate it, and the accusations originated from Catulus and Piso - the same two senators who held a grudge against him. Plus, less than 3% of all senators were involved, and as an incoming praetor Caesar had no incentive to overthrow a government he would be part of.

He was not involved in the Rullan land reform bill or debt relief bill in 63 BCE, two of the more controversial popularis causes that year.

He probably wasn't the instigator for the trial of Rabirius in the same year. Although he and his cousin did serve as judges for said trial, Cicero doesn't even mention Caesar in the defense speech. Nor does the trial seem to hold much significance for Caesar's political image if, like most scholars, you believe it predates Catiline's flight from Rome. Morstein-Marx argues that it's more likely the prosecutor Labienus was acting independently, both as revenge for Rabirius' involvement in the death of Labienus' uncle, and to further his own career - remember, prosecutions were a common tool for new senators to get attention.

He probably didn't bribe his way to electoral victory. The election format of the pontifex maximus office in particular made bribery very difficult, and Caesar's opponents had plenty of motive and resources to prosecute him for it if they could form a case. Caesar's victory is better explained by his methods stated above for gaining popular support, by the fact that he'd just won the praetorship (and was fresh in people's minds), and that the other two candidates probably split the "traditionalist" vote between them.

(Robert Morstein-Marx, Julius Caesar and the Roman People, pp. 58-82.)

[kanerallels]

So... what SW Legends stuff would you recommend? I've already started reading Heir to the Empire, if that helps?

Ooooh!! Okay Heir to the Empire is the PERFECT starting place, that's where I started too! (I think. I also vaguely remembering reading these Darth Bane books when I was younger, but I digress)

(edit: also, I am not an expert on Legends, so if anyone who knows it better would like to offer any other recs (in a respectful manner that doesn't involve talking about how much you hate the sequels) feel free to add to this post!)

Others that I would recommend would definitely depend on what era you're looking for, but most of the stuff I know is post Return of the Jedi. If it's not, I'll make sure you know! (I'm gonna put part of this under a cut, it got kinda long)

The Hand of Thrawn duology. It's set like ten years after Heir to the Empire, and wraps up the events of those books super well! Plus it has more Talon Karrde, who is my favorite background character ever. The first book is Specter of the Past, by Timothy Zahn!

If you're a Mace Windu fan, Shatterpoint by Matthew Stover was really good! It's set near the end of the Clone Wars, and is about a mission he went on to find his missing apprentice. It was fun to read from Mace's point of view, and see how he's actually a lot more caring than a lot of fans depict him. Also, he headbutts a shocking amount of people. Mace is not immune to the chaos gene that comes with being Force sensitive

Technically, these are kids books and I might only like them because nostaglia, but the Last of the Jedi series by Jude Watson is fun! It's set directly after Order 66, and follows a former Jedi who grew up with Anakin, and the escapades and hijinks he gets up to

The Rogue Squadron books by Michael A. Stackpole are pretty good, especially if you like fighter pilot shenanigans. Rogue Squadron is Wedge Antilles's elite squad of pilots, and the main character is Corran Horn, who is a former Corellian Security member (basically a cop) and gets into all KINDS of trouble. I've only technically read a couple of those books, and admittedly, I don't like them as much as their follow up series. But if you do enjoy these books, you should check out I, Jedi, by Michael A. Stackpole, which is about Corran in later life

The follow up series is the Wraith Squadron books by Aaron Allston. It's also about a squadron Wedge put together, but it's made up of washouts and rejects, and they end up as a black ops division. It's simultaneously really sad and some of the funniest Star Wars I've ever read, and there's a running joke about an Ewok lieutenant

I'm gonna recommend the Republic Commando series by Karen Traviss, but with a caveat. Karen Traviss, for some reason, seems to really, really hate the Jedi. And that is reflected in her writing, but it's almost worth it for the Mandalorians adopting clones and the TRAGEDY. This one is set during the end of the Clone War, through Order 66. It also does not end super satisfyingly, but it's weirdly good anyways. So it's really up to you whether or not you think you can handle the rampant loathing of Jedi

Uhhh let's see, what else. There are so so many Legends books. The Jedi Academy Trilogy by Kevin J Anderson isn't the best written, but it gives you a really good look at what Luke's new Jedi Order looks like as he's building (and also happens, timeline-wise, at the same time as I, Jedi)

I think those are the main ones I know well enough to recommend! In my experience, anything by Timothy Zahn or Aaron Allston is pretty good. Avoid Troy Denning at all cost-- he does not, in my experience, write stuff that is particularly admirable, and it can be kinda gross. If you end up with a particular character you like a lot who you're looking for more content of, there's a good chance there's more out there! Feel free to send me any other questions you have, and don't feel pressure to read all of it. No one can possibly be an expert on all of Star Wars, there's just. Way too much of it (of course that's not really gonna stop me from trying)

[pouralaura]

wip wednesday

thanks for the tag, @tellmeallaboutit 🥰

1

who will burn who, Raphael/Tav university AU (hopefully I'll have this out sometime next week!)

The teacher/student chase is a tale as old as time, he knows; a terrible, titillating don't stand so close to me cliché. A perverse and sordid little affair. Raphael thinks delightedly that the established precedent makes this all the sweeter, all the more indulgent – particularly when he knows Tav sees it much the same, plays the game along with him.

With naught but exactly that brand of indulgence on his mind, he brings the elegant pastel fabric to his nose and inhales his sweetling, long and slow, and it’s a luxury. Sharp and sweet and wet; a hint of sweat, a touch of baby powder. Her musky scent stirs his cock to life again beneath his zipper, but he doesn't touch; not yet. Instead he holds the fabric there, breathing in and out. He is greedy. Wants too much, too fast.

But why shouldn’t he have it?

2

untitled, Astarion/Gale and Raphael/Tav

“Which one of them are you imagining right now?”

Gale grits his teeth. “Certainly n-not Raphael.”

“Tav, then? Hmm. A lovely choice.”

“You two have – then?”

He's not thought about her with any serious intent. She's cold and assertive and stubborn in a way that wouldn’t work alongside him. They don't share enough of the same interests. But he can't pretend she's not lovely. Can't pretend he's not hard and aching in the elf’s grip as he listens to her little mewls, even when it's a creature he trusts not an ilm coaxing them from her lips.

“Yes. More than once. But that was some time ago.”

“Do you still think about it?”

“Mmmm,” muses Astarion. “Not really. Loathe as I am to admit it, I do respect her very much.”

“Raphael,” they hear her pant. “Please – nnnmmmpphhh!”

There’s the unmistakable sound of a harsh slap against soft flesh, and a muffled moan – Gale can’t decide whether it’s more likely Raphael’s hand or Tav’s own over her traitorous mouth.

Astarion chuckles quietly, thumb moving lightly over Gale’s tip. “It’s a good thing they’re so far away from camp. Tav does love a spanking.”

3

tomorrow means nothing (ch. 2), Raphael/Tav modern AU inspired by The White Lotus

“I’ve – I’ve been with other people since. Since last time,” she confesses in a rush.

His eyes burn, but not in anger. She thinks, actually, that it might be pride. But for what? “Jealous as I may be of those lucky men or women, I cannot pretend to have lain a claim of exclusivity on you after but one night.”

She laughs nervously. “Your…erm…line of work probably doesn’t allow for many long-term attachments.”

“And what line of work is that?”

“Murder, I guess?”

He sighs. “Don’t be reductive. I am a freelance contracted killer. There is endless business negotiation involved.”

[torglives]

i feel like i never really post about britta, (which i need to fix because i love her so dearly) but something i’ve noticed is that she really is just consistently driven by and dependent on other people’s opinions about her. there are so many instances where her low self esteem, or just like, self-loathing mindset, puts her on a path to make self-destructive decisions. she has a conversation with frankie in her car in s6 that’s kind of about this, but s3 has so many obvious examples too and i just want to talk about them. so.

i feel like it really shows with the pizza guy, who appears in both 03x18 and 03x04. in remedial chaos theory: in every other timeline, britta smokes weed after being shut down by jeff when she tries to sing, as a reaction to the rejection (because, again, she is very dependent on her friends’ reactions to her.), but in the timeline 6, she’s sober, and when she goes to get the pizza, she “falls in love” with the pizza guy, who everyone else says is weird and creepy. and i feel like, surface level, it’s played off as a funny “britta hates herself has horrible taste in men” moment, but when we factor in what happens in 03x18 i think it kind of gives it more depth? or, at least seriousness. 

in course listing unavailable, after everyone is expelled from greendale, spirits are DOWN big time. when abed says “britta aren’t you going to explain that every failure is also an oppurtunity?” she replies with, “whatever, i’m the worst” and shirley says “not going to argue [...].” when she goes to get the pizza, she opens the door and the same pizza guy is there, shirley says “it does seem like things couldn’t get any worse”, and they smile at eachother kinda flirtatiously.  troy has his “no we have eachother!” monologue and then he turns to britta and says “and you’re not the worst, you’re the best.” then she SLAMS THE DOOR in the pizza guy’s face. very obvious example of her poor self esteem and negative headspace driving her to make self-destructive/impulsive decisions. (it also shows, again, how dependent she is on other people’s opinions. the change in mindset was really quick.)

obviously this shows with her ex-boyfriend blade, too, and like twelve billion other examples involving the men she’s attracted to. i am not a troy/britta fan at all, but i really think a big part of britta’s attraction to troy is because troy was the only person who ever expressed affection to her normally and genuinely. (ex. the text message in origins of vampire mythology.) i also think that if their relationship happened in a season that wasn’t the gas-leak year (because the characters were just so..... weird.... and exaggerated in s4), this would’ve been touched on a little bit more. anyway tldr i love britta and she’s played off as a joke most of the time, but i think theres a lot of serious depth and potential to her character that i wish we got more of.  

[pochapal]

re: Beatrice's contradictory ways haunting and vexing you, do you think this is the product of a multiplicity of Beatricehood - if not a multiple culprits theory then at least in line with your thoughts on the mythic construction of Beatrice The Witch, Beatrice Kinzo's Lover, Beatrice The Origin Of The Gold &c - or is there a grand unifying theory of Beatrice that you haven't been able to formulate?

i feel like for the most parts each beatrice is internally consistent with the exception of the overarching Beatrice The Culprit. the material beatrices each make sense in accordance with what we know of each time period and the respective people involved (save for maybe some finer details vis a vis Beatrice Kinzo's Lover and genji) and the immaterial beatrices each work within their self contained fictional frameworks (we know exactly how the beatrice that maria believes in and the beatrice that the servants tell everyone about overlap and diverge).

the problem is that Beatrice The Architect Of The Murders is in comparison rife with absolutely bizarre contradictions with no neat solution in the text. the base argument would be that this specific beatrice is defined by specific traits that can be mapped onto the relevant person(s) that are doing the crimes in the material world but outside of some reaching and projection with kinzo (who is ruled out from a lot of stuff by virtue of the existence of the other beatrices) there is basically nobody whose inner or outer self is congruent with what we know of this beatrice. if her motive was straightforward vengeance against the ushiromiya family then you could pin her origins on someone like kanon who has cause to violently loathe these people and if it was a straightforward occult ritual in accordance with kinzo's deal then that would speak more to someone like genji but as it stands "i am going to challenge you all to a life and death gamble where if you manage to stop me from killing you all you get access to kinzo's gold" is not something that really fits with any known quantity within umineko.

i think a Grand Unifying Beatrice would be to understand beatrice as a stand-in for the metaphor space people occupy when dealing with difficult truths - it is easier to talk about witches than it is fascism, or an abusive relationship, or being the person to slaughter over a dozen other human beings. beatrice as a concept is very much a mask worn by people and history to let truths filter forward less painfully. i don't think you can coalesce all these beatrices into a singular entity but i think they all operate using the same systems. the issue remains with that single beatrice who does not fit the pattern in the same way - whatever meaning beatrice has as a gambling culprit is opaque and contradictory in a way i don't think can be solved with the information we have.

my gut instinct is to say this relates to the deeper questions of fiction/storytelling and of umineko being a self-conscious mystery story that wants to be solved, but that layer of the story, if it exists, isn't accessible to us. i theorized once that there might be a metafictional beatrice who is presenting the mystery of umineko in a specific way to get a reader to want to dig into the concealed truths of the story, and i wondered if maybe something similar wasn't happening between the diegetic beatrice and the intended audience for the performance of the witch illusion on rokkenjima. the issue is that there is no convincing potential diegetic beatrice to fill this role, which is why i'm left feeling like i'm missing something. it's one of many instances where my understanding of umineko frustratingly feels like you're missing exactly one key puzzle piece needed to get a solid grasp of the picture - the truth is so close, yet so elusive.

[amberlide]

Garreth Weasley head-canons

As I already did Natty and Leander, here we go with Garreth. I am a bit hesitant on these as I know many people have their own, but these are personal and related to my fanfiction.

Be nice <3

Sibling Relationships:

Garreth has two older brothers: Edmund and Oliver, and two younger siblings: Charlotte and Hector.

His favorite brother is Edmund, who always tastes his home-made brews. However, after an incident involving Gillyweed, Edmund has become a bit more hesitant.

Family Dynamics:

Garreth is sweet and caring, attributes fostered by a close-knit family. Coming from a modest background, taking care of each other is paramount, especially with two younger siblings relying on him.

First year at Hogwarts was difficult as he was not used to called his aunt Prof. Weasley but rather Aunt Millie. This gained an infinite hours of detention and loss of points for Gryffindors XD

Early Memories:

You can't be this sweet and caring without great role-models in your life. When Garreth was a few months old, five-year-old Edmund heard him crying in the night. To avoid waking their parents, Edmund took Garreth to the living room to comfort him. Mrs. Weasley found them the next morning, asleep together on the couch, a moment that reaffirmed the special bond among her children.

Passion for Potions:

Garreth's love for potions sparked at a very young age. Every Christmas, Mr. Weasley would bring home a crate of Butterbeer to celebrate, in a very poor family this made the celebration very special. The taste intrigued Garreth, inspiring a desire to recreate something similar yet affordable to spread joy, much like Butterbeer did for him. Did Oliver try to give him alcoholic Butterbeer? Sure, but we don't talk about this XD

Skill in Potion-making:

He’s the middle born of a large family, with Edmund being the everyone’s favorite and so good in everything, but also very modest, Oliver being the prankster who excels in charms and Charlotte being the pretty and quirky witch of the family with a knack for magical creatures (Hector is too little) he wanted to find something for himself.

He has a unique eye condition, he’s not color-blind, but he can’t see certain shades of the same color. As he will explain to Pen most people relies on their eyesight to check on their potions, since he cannot rely only on that, he has to use his other senses as well: smell and hearing. This gave him an edge.

Entrepreneurial Spirit:

He started his business at Hogwarts as a potionist as a way to make money to buy ingredients for his brew. Everything started one day when Edmund asked him to help him prepare a calming drought for a friend who was having panic attacks. He soon started receiving more orders that he could handle.

Personal Quirks:

Despite his accomplishments, Garreth loathes his freckles, getting quite upset when Pen dubbed him an "ugly freckled mug."

He has an never ending crush on Poppy since the second year, which was apparent to Natty during their first class together, but Lee never noticed XD

He will never ever retort to violence to solve conflicts, he has other ways, thanks to his business he knows his clients' secrets and he’s not afraid of use them when threaten. 

He refuses to brew illegal potions, he already has enough problems with his aunt as it is.

He’s easy to scare, to much delight of Lee and Natty who always convince him to come to the Old Fool haunted house for Halloween (and make bets on him).   

When he's nervous he always pushes his lock of hairs away from his forehead to give space to his mind to breath XD

Literary Interests:

Garreth is an avid fan of the "Emerald Quill" novel series, which follows a gentleman thief executing magical heists. He often spoils the plot for Lee, who's attempted to read the series multiple times without success.

This means, he’s not afraid of stealing when necessary XD

[mademoiselle-red]

Eulogy (a TC fic)

“We are gathered here today to honor the life of our dear friend, Emily Nora Adrian. Emily was a woman of courage and compassion, who found her calling in medicine. She enjoyed a successful, four decade career, beginning as a nurse in training in an E.M.S. Hospital during the war, and eventually taking the position of Head Nurse at the Bristol General. In her many years of service, both within the halls of the hospital and in her devotion to community and friends, Emily touched many lives. One of the lives she touched was mine.”

“I first met Emily in the summer of 1940, when she was still a nurse in training at that E.M.S. hospital where I was a patient, freshly evaluated from Dunkirk. Our paths crossed when I was wheeled out of the operating room and she lent me a sympathetic hand to hold as I came off the morphine and rambled on about foolish things. We struck up a friendship, of the casual, transient sort that young people thrown together into similar circumstances often did during the war.”

“Emily always said that there is a right time and a right place for people to meet each other, and the war wasn’t simply wasn’t our time. Because you see, when Emily and I met in 1940, we thought we ought to marry each other, and neither of us found the prospect enticing, but we were both loathe to show it. We believed we were alone in our queerness. And in our awkwardness and anxiety, we began to avoid each other, in the end, not knowing the other felt the same way. But I like to think that we’d recognized something familiar in each other that summer, and it was that shared sensibility that drew us unconsciously together.”

“When I was transferred away to the Bridstow general hospital in the autumn of 1940, it seemed like that would be the end of our acquaintance. And for over four decades, we heard and saw nothing of each other, until our paths crossed again, over four decades later, in 1981.”

“We became reacquainted again when I retired from my job and started volunteering at the Bridstow Switchboard, which Emily and her partner, Babs Whitely, had founded in 1977. It was a confidential helpline that provided counsel, information, and emergency shelter for gays and lesbians, primarily youth who were rejected by their families. Emily and I got to know each other very well this time around, and had quite the laugh over our youthful misunderstandings.”

“I think Emily would agree if I were to say that our friendship truly began in the winter of the 1981, when we met as individuals who knew who we were and what we wanted to do with it. I was searching for a sense of continuity and purpose after retiring from my career. Emily wanted to make a difference.”

“In 1985, she helped organize the Bridstow Lesbian Line, which collected blood donations to provide an undeniable community service and support the gay men who were being left out of the transfusion services. She was also deeply involved in ACT UP Bridstow, tirelessly raising funds for AIDS research and programs to bring food, necessities, and friendship to those too ill to care for themselves.”

“Emily explained to me once, that because she could not go back to the home she came from, it felt especially important to preserve and recreate the comforts and pastimes that made one feel at home. She had been an avid tennis player since she first learned to walk, and had in fact chosen her house based on its proximity to the tennis court. She was also a great host of garden parties. Babs was the one who did the actual gardening, but Emily welcomed each spring and summer with the most charming tea parties, proudly showing off both Babs’ work and her own new culinary experiments.”

“Those are the memories I will cherish the most as I miss my friend. We are parted once again, this time by the final barrier. So rest well on the other side, Emily. And until we meet again, Goodbye.”

[kaelyx-zac01]

Time to talk about the OFMD finale after it left me broken like an idiot.

First off, I would like to preface this by saying that I love Season 2 from start to finish. I thank the show runners and everyone involved from cast to crew for delivering us such a treat of a season. The whole show radiates and celebrates queer love and queer joy and I love it wholeheartedly.

But of course, that's not to say it's perfect. Stede's issues weren't fully addressed. The ending felt quite rushed. And of course, the ultimate topic of debate, Izzy Hand's death.

Admittedly, I was spoiled about Izzy's death (thank you Youtube comment section of La Vie En Rose) and although it did infuriate me a bit, I think it helped me in preparing myself for what's to come and allowed me to accept Izzy's death in general.

That's not to say I think it was good he died. I still am pretty much in the "Izzy shouldn't have died" camp, to be honest. Izzy Hands' character arc this season was just so wonderful. And personally, I would've loved to see him further grow and develop as a person and as a member of the crew. Heck, I even hoped he'd be the captain of the Revenge in the end. But, alas, that's definitely off the charts now.

Nevertheless, I do not think his death was such a bad move as many people make it seem. Yes, he could've died in a better way. Yes, his speech and death could've been more than just validating Edward. And yes, I wish the crew did more than just stand there as Izzy died. But, he died happy and free, knowing he was loved. He died with a smile on his face, laughing and serving cunt until the end. And damn, what a beautiful way to go.

His death also felt more of a reward than a plot device tbh. Because, well....frankly speaking, the man is tired as fuck. He's had to deal with Ed's bullshit, handle their previous crew as well as the Revenge crew after Blackbeard went batshit suicidal. At the same time, he's also been wrestling with feelings of self-loathing and unrequited longing whilst being unable to express vulnerability, unlike the Revenge crew. The man's emotionally drained and mentally exhausted, you guys. And as much as I would've loved to see him diss the fuck out of Ed and Stede as well as the crew, I think we can all agree than our dear unicorn deserves a rest, much more than anyone in the show. As Izzy himself said, he himself 'wants to go'.

So yeah, RIP beloved Israel "Izzy" Hands, you will be missed. Truly, his presence will echo throughout the series, even with his death, cos well... he's just that fucking good.