#but can you imagine how much of a disaster that would be irl

[ultimateyakazoo]

i love how right out the gate danganronpa sets you up for this suspension of disbelief with the concept of hopes peak academy. like its such a creative and interesting concept but in practice itd be such a stupid idea and that just makes the series all the more fun and ridiculous

[gloomwitchwrites]

Break Up with Your Toxic Boyfriend (4 of 4)

Simon "Ghost" Riley x Female Reader

Content & Warnings: brief discussion of verbal, emotional, and physical injury canon-typical swearing, protective Simon, unprotected piv (wrap it up irl), creampie

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: Part of the Imagines & What If Series

You might not be his anymore, but Ghost doesn't believe so. When you reach out to him, Ghost makes every excuse to come over, knowing that he can get you back if you just realize that you've always only been his.

ao3 // taglist // main masterlist // break up with your toxic boyfriend masterlist

Simon stands in the middle of your living room.

He is blood-drenched. Lead-hungry.

Full of venom. Full of fury.

His gaze sweeps over the busted television, the broken bookshelves, and the massive hole in the wall. There are bent picture frames empty of their glass. The photos within are either missing or partially torn. Whiskey stains the wall, running down from the impact point in little ribbons of amber.

Simon’s hands curl into fists.

This is so much fucking worse than what he originally thought. The living room doesn’t even scratch the surface. The kitchen is completely trashed, so is your bedroom where your boyfriend decided to shred up your clothes in anger.

Your… “boyfriend.”

That fucker should be grateful he isn’t here to face Simon. If he were, Simon would make him suffer. Make the prick eat his teeth.

On the phone, you were delirious, each word running together anger, frustration, and a fear that Simon felt in his gut. It sat heavy in his ears. That was enough for Simon to forget all responsibility and come to you.

Otherwise, Simon would not have come. You are not his woman anymore. That obligation to comfort doesn’t belong to him. It belongs to your boyfriend, but he’s the cause of all this suffering.

Why should you seek that bastard out?

No. Simon is glad you called him even though the circumstances turn his stomach and fill his veins with sludge.

He turns around and finds you lingering nearby. Your eyes are red with irritation, and your cheeks are puffy. Simon longs to pull you into his arms, yet hesitates only because you might push him away.

Simon unclenches his hands, flexing his fingers. “You’re breaking up with him.”

He’s not going to step around or sugar-coat this. Simon has always been blunt with his words, and this will be no different.

Your back straightens, hands clasped in front of you, fingers curled around the neckline of your sweater. “Simon—”

“It’s not a suggestion.” Simon lifts his arm, indicating the disaster of an apartment. “This is who he is. This will happen again.” He drops his arm.

Your chest expands. Deflates. “But—”

“Don’t defend him.”

“I’m not,” you snap.

Simon strides forward but you do not retreat. You stand tall, staring up into Simon’s face. Though your cheeks are stained with your tears, you’re beautiful.

“Next time it won’t be the wall or your television. It will be you he hurts.” Simon shakes his head. “And I won’t allow that.” You open your mouth as if to interrupt but Simon is having none of that. “I’ll kill him before that happens.”

“No. You won’t.”

“I will,” he growls. “I’ve never lied to you. Think I’m lying about this?”

Simon watches your throat bob as you swallow. He knows you understand. Fucking hell, he might be distant at times, even cold or blunt, but he never lies to you. Simon has always told you exactly what’s on his mind. Sometimes it has been to his detriment.

It is one of the reasons the two of you broke up. Simon didn’t want to end things. He respected your wishes, but even upon leaving, Simon still considered you his. The issue was with him and how he communicated with you about things. Emotionally, he was fucking distant. Not all the time, but enough that it seemed like he didn’t care.

That’s far from the truth, but Simon didn’t see any of it until you put it all out in front of him and decided to leave. Only then did he realize, and he did fucking everything to work on himself.

Fresh tears develop in the undersides of your eyelids. That’s it for him. It’s over.

Simon moves in, clasping the sides of your face with both hands. “Do you understand?” he asks softly, wiping away the tears with his thumbs.

You don’t nod or even make a sound.

It’s not enough. Simon needs confirmation.

“He will escalate. He will get worse. You will be a target. Tell me you understand.”

There is a sniffle before you speak. “I know,” you whisper, voice cracking slightly.

Simon sighs and wraps his arms around you, pulling you against his chest. You’re warm. A beacon of light in the disaster of a room. He leans in, pressing his cheek to the top of your head. He inhales and his lung fill with you.

With a final squeeze, Simon places a kiss to the crown of your head. He pulls back, but just enough to look at you. “I’ll clean up.”

“I can help.”

Simon shakes his head. “No. Sit. I want to do this for you.”

Your brow softens, arms falling away from him as you step back and glide to the sofa.

Simon tackles the bedroom first, shoving all your damaged clothes into trash bags. He organizes everything, making sure nothing is out of place, that it appears as it did before your boyfriend trashed it all. When he’s done, Simon returns to you, putting you to bed.

“Don’t leave,” you murmur, and Simon doesn’t. He curls up next to you, holds you until your breathing becomes shallow and slow.

Only then does Simon unfurl himself, slipping away. He doesn’t leave the flat. He shuts the bedroom door and gets to work, picking up the shattered glass, sending the television to the large rubbish bin. He orders you a new one and schedules it for delivery. He sweeps the floor and returns everything to your kitchen cabinets. Anything that is torn or broken gets trashed. Simon works through your clothes last. Sitting on the living room floor, Simon shifts through every one, trying to see if anything is salvageable. Most of it is, but there is plenty he has to toss.

Simon works until there is nothing left. It’s incredibly late, the time creeping close to the rising of the sun. Returning to the bedroom, Simon kicks off his shoes and removes the balaclava. You’ve seen his face countless times, and showing it now is normal.

When Simon slips into the bed beside you, and your body shifts, turning in his direction. He slides over into your reaching arms. The moment your bodies come together, you sigh with pleasure, and the noise goes straight to his groin.

But Simon won’t. He won’t push. This is not about him.

Sleep floods in, and it is your soft hands caressing his face that eventually wake him.

“Good morning,” he murmurs, voice harsh from dreaming.

“Morning, Simon,” you reply, resting your chin on his chest.

This is how mornings used to be. It sends Simon into memory and the days when he knew he was in love.

Was?

No.

Is. He still is. He still loves you utterly. That never stopped for him.

Your hands are not idle. After caressing his face, they move downward. The shift in your motions sends little shivers through his spine. They are visible and sharp. You inhale, and Simon begins to lean in. You mimic him but pause before your mouths can meet.

“Do you have to go?”

Simon captures one of your wrists with his hand, caressing the pulse point there with his thumb. “I can stay as long as you like.”

The smile that spreads across your face warms him everywhere. He wants to savor it forever. Your gaze drops from his eyes to his mouth. Then, your head shifts to glance at his chest and stomach. He might be wearing a shirt but Simon feels bare under your attention.

As your gaze returns to his face, Simon’s resolve melts away.

Fuck it. He’s doing this.

Grabbing the back of your neck, Simon closes the distance, pressing his lips to yours. There is no hesitation or resistance. You melt into him, and Simon has to hold back a moan. Every kiss is tender. Sweet. He’s missed this—missed you so fucking much it’s a raging inferno under his skin.

There is no part he leaves untouched. His hands roam everywhere, seeking closeness. Seeking your warmth.

“Simon,” you whimper against his mouth.

“I’m right here, love.”

You push upward, swinging your leg over his body, straddling him. Simon is momentarily stunned but you’re already returning to him, pressing you lips to his. He groans and grips your neck harder as your hips rolls against him.

“Simon,” you repeat, and his name on your lips is shifting him around, turning his insides out, revealing all his weaknesses.

His hands and your hands tug and pull. Moving clothing. Shoving bedding aside. When you start to sink down on him, Simon has to break the frantic kissing to breathe deep, to praise you in all the ways he knows how.

Your hands are solid against his chest. An anchor as you rock back and forth.

“Fuck,” he groans.

“Fuck,” he repeats, elongated the vowel as your pussy lightly squeezes him.

Above him, the air from your lungs releases from you in little sighs that creep into his ears and burrow in the folds of his brain. They are collected there. Remembered.

Using his grip on the back of your neck, Simon pulls you right back in, claiming your mouth. You open for him perfectly, your hips momentarily stalling as all your attention shifts to this one connection.

But Simon needs that movement. He craves it like the birds need the wind.

Wrapping his free arm around your waist, Simon flips you onto your back. There is no pause between the time Simon flips you and when he starts to thrust. It is instant. An impulse. A driving force that overcomes him.

Your fingers claw at his back, your legs hooking around the backs of his thighs, drawing him closer. If that is what you want, Simon will do it. Happily.

Pressing his forehead to yours, the two of you exchange breaths. The bed strikes the wall in repeated thuds, pleasure pooling in the base of Simon’s spine.

“Don’t—” You inhale. Exhale. “Stop.”

Growling, Simon presses his mouth to your neck, his pace increasing until his thrusting becomes an erratic, desperate thing. He hears you moaning, feels your pussy clenching down to keep him inside.

It’s too fucking much.

Simon’s own release roils up from the depths. His hips grind forward, creating a seal as he comes. His entire body shivers as one of your hands cradles his cheek. The touch is so soft he almost doesn’t recognize it at first.

But then you curl your fingers under his chin, guiding his face away from your neck to stare into your eyes. He starts to pull away, but your feet stay locked over the back of his legs, keeping him inside you.

Simon smirks.

He has you.

It might not be perfect or even solid, but he has his way in.

You haven’t said it, but you don’t need to.

You are his.

taglist:

@glassgulls @km-ffluv @glitterypirateduck @tiredmetalenthusiast @spicyspicyliving @childofyuggoth @miaraei @coffeecaketornado @wren5650 @aykxz98 @kayden666 @36namey @miss-mistinguett @keiva1000 @cherryofdeath @pertinentpostmortem @enfppuff @kittytiddywinks @cinnabeanz @berarenado @saoirse06 @ninman82 @no-oneelsebutnsu @marispunk @thewulf @hayleybarnesx @lxblm @ferns-fics @ooldcardigan @beebeechaos @enarien @xxkay15xx @sw33tsnow @kessi-21 @makayla-666 @lifes-project @burn1ngw00d @heeheehoohoohahahihi @lulurubberduckie @ravenpoe67 @jade1605 @contractedcriteria @lovely-ateez @gingergirl06 @kidd3ath @leed-bbg @blackhawkfanatic @suhmie

[residents-of-the-darkforest]

Warriors AU: God-worshipped Sharptooth

I think it would have been super cool if Sharptooth was seen as a God instead of just a predator.

The Clans already view big cats--Tiger, Lion, Leopard--or at least whatever they imagine those big cats to be as these almost sacred, possibly spiritual, beings of the past. How come when an actual big cat showed up in the series, no one thought it might be something spiritual?

--

The Tribe cats are already treated as a group of..to put it plainly, idiots that always need the Clans to help them. What if their first encounter wasn't of being saved from Sharptooth thanks to the Clans?

What if instead, the Tribe saw Sharptooth as a god, who comes to take their tributes (sacrifices) once every [blank]. Like Someone might be close to dying--elderly, sick, just wanting to pay tribute--and they send them to a place where Sharptooth comes to get them (away from the cave so that he doesn't actually become a huge issue in the way that he did in the books). They see it as his guiding spirit leading them to the afterlife.

It would also allow more cats to eat because their numbers can remain steady, so they don't run into the problem that caused half of them to leave back in DOTC.

Remember how the Tribe was meant to show how groups can be different and unique, but also good? Wasn't it a thing for 9/11 or was that made up? I'm tired it's 3 in the morning

What if they leaned more into that idea? The Tribe of Endless Hunting is too similar to StarClan imo, so what if instead of a entire afterlife of cats that guided you, it was Sharptooth that was the leader? And those that sacrificed their lives for him was believed to be granted a high position in the stars?

What if the Clan cats think that this is wrong and try to stop it, but by the end they realize that they cannot control other cats' lives, and that these cats are happy with their beliefs and lifestyle, and it would be wrong of them to force them to change?

So instead of the Tribe being helpless and always needing the Clans' help, they are instead shown to be a group living differently and believing in different things, but who also have mothers just like the Clans, fathers, kits, friends. I don't know, my brain's too tired to formulate the words I want to say right.

Just...There was so much missed potential. I'm pretty sure the Tribe was made because of different ways of living and different groups irl, so it sucks that one of these groups in their books are, for one, so similar to the other in their beliefs, and for another they're so bad at taking care of themselves without the Clans coming in to save them. It would have been so much better if we instead got a moral of getting along in spite of differences and beliefs.

Maybe they don't accept each other at first and believe that the other's way of living is wrong but then there's another enemy or natural disaster that makes the two groups work together and make them realize how similar they are, and that it's okay that they are also different?

PLUS just imagine God-Sharptooth.

Thank you and goodbye

[souryogurt64]

what happened on your bad date

I'll take any excuse to tell an excruciatingly detailed and pointless story

So to preface this, this guy was someone I initially met IRL. The following is for drama and context, because otherwise I feel like how this played out doesn't make sense.

He was a bartender somewhere. I was interested in going swimming over the summer there with my friend when she mentioned it because 1) Pete Wentz would fake complain constantly on his LiveJournal about how sooooo boooooring and laaaaaame it was there and how the girls were just soooo baaasiccc but soooo hootttttt then brag in interviews about how he had mindblowing sex in semi-public or whatever there. So as you can imagine, it was imperative I see this for research purposes.

[I think either Pete is not as cool as he thinks he is or it must've been cooler at the time.] Anyway 2) There is a pool on the roof and I'm an Aquarius. Literally nobody else was ever in the pool because they're too cool I guess

But anyway, there was this really hot bartender there and once I ordered a drink and he told me he didn't think I'd like it and made me his own concoction. I did not like the drink he made me because he asked me if I liked coconut and I hate it but I said "Yes" because I was so flustered, but I pretended I loved the drink. It was the kind of thing you think about forever. But I used to wash glasses at brewery and I would watch all the guys flirt with every girl, so I knew it wasn't like, real.

So, I saw him on Hinge quite a bit later. His pictures were very professional which should have tipped me off but I was feeling a bit la-la about him. I definitely felt like I was batting out of my league-- a few of my friends told me I wasn't, but they're your friends and they're supposed to say that.

Anyway, I messaged him and I mentioned the drink thing. As more context, I had to take a vow of abstinence and take pregnancy tests every month while on Accutane, two months before, and for three months after, so this would be my first date in about a year.

He pretty much immediately asked me to go to a (nicer than I'm used to) bar. He picked the place and time and asked me to go out on a weekend. Initially I wanted to be realistic and just hope I got a reliable fwb out of it, but a guy had never asked me out like this before so I was like "maybe he remembered me and felt the same way."

In retrospect, he did this because he thought I must've been someone I'm not and I would expect that level of effort. But because I was so excited and I had met him organically and not on an evil app, I started to get even more lala and think that maybe this would be real or whatever. His profile said he was from South Carolina which I thought was kinda hot.

I had been approached by guys multiple times there and had always run away or ignored them because I expected they were going to be like, well, what happened on this date. But because of where he was from plus him being the bartender, I was starting to convince myself that he was normal or something. Very naive.

So we go on this date and the first five minutes are an immediate disaster. I had looked at the menu ahead of time and I wanted one of the most expensive drinks because it looked fruity, but I didn't want to be rude so I tried to get there before he did so I could open a tab. This was my first time at a bar where you don't have to open a tab so the waitress didn't understand what I was trying to do. (For the record, I actually ordered something a lot cheaper.)

He walks in seconds after this and is like "Why is your wallet on the table, is this some kind of power move" which is incredibly rude but anyway he was very insistent about paying. Important later.

After this he starts by asking the weirdest thing about me. The weirdest thing about me is probably what I'm into in bed, but I wasn't about to say that, and I'm not a very good liar either, and he was not impressed with my answer.

After this, he noticed I was wearing a little cross necklace, because it goes with the dress and is probably the nicest piece of jewelry I own. He asks me if I'm religious very confrontationally, and that's like kind of complicated. Also incredibly rude.

Then he asks where I work and I tell the truth. This is immediately a problem, because he tells me before he was a bartender, he used to work in film. I should have figured this out based off the photo quality, but I'm a little slow. He also started bringing up that being surprising for my age because I was so young and he went on about it for too long. He was 28, I'm 24.

It also comes out that he is NOT actually from South Carolina he was born in Russia or something then moved there as a kid then lived in LOS ANGELES for 10 years and then left the film industry and moved to Chicago to start bartending and (these were not his words) he's clearly a huge playboy. So this is NOT a normal person this is a freak

After this, though, the date was actually going really well and was very enjoyable, except for when he kept trying to drop names of all these different celebrities and (I quote) "billionaires" he worked with to impress me. I didn't know who any of them were except Tom Felton and he was very perplexed by this and kept trying to do it harder until it got me going and it just wasn't happening, which goes back to him thinking I must've been like. The typical clientele of that establishment

He also insisted we go to multiple bars and I thought this was incredibly weird. Also at this point I realized I had not eaten and was incredibly drunk. Usually when I go out with friends or on a date I have 2-3 drinks over the course of several hours, and am a little tipsy but that's it.

I only had 2 over a 3 hour period, and was probably the 3rd most intoxicated I have ever been in my life. I thought it would be fine if I stopped drinking and just had water but I was getting progressively worse. In his defense, he asked if I needed food and I said "No" because I didn't want to eat in front of a boy. I'm pretty sure I started to brown out but I was trying really hard not to let on to where I was at.

Anyway we're at the last bar and I'm feeling really bad. At this point in the date, I really did want to see him again and keep hanging out but I just felt awful so I started hinting that I wanted to go home.

Because I was so drunk, I don't remember exactly what order this happened in or what happened between these, but somewhere at this point it devolves into the most bizarre 10 minutes of my life.

He tells me he's been to rehab twice and I think he maybe said he went to one of those wilderness camps and I was like "why are we both drunk then" and he was like "well it's okay because it was for drugs" and like whatever not my business. Except he also started psychoanalyzing me and tells me that I'm probably into him because I'm sexually repressed because I was raised super religious and go for him because it seems rebellious but he's "non threatening" and I "think I'm bisexual." And I was drunk enough to say "I am bisexual" and he got really affronted by this.

This was all true, but it hurt my feelings and was rude and weird. I also considered this a huge red flag because Hey Chris spent like half of his book about being a sex addict talking about women like this so I was like absolutely not. I think he was probably as drunk as me to be honest but was handling it a lot worse

The most freak behavior out of him though was that he tried to be like "So how did we split this, how many did you pay for" as if he hadn't insisted. So I paid for his last drink and-- freak part incoming-- he leaned over to watch me write the tip. I was so drunk and so weirded out by this I couldn't do any math in my head so I tipped way too much and he grabbed the receipt and got super offended by this for some reason.

Anyway despite this being insanely rude, he starts trying really hard to get me to not leave or get me to take him back to my place. He asks if he can kiss me and I say "Yeah," mostly because I was trying not to turn this into more of a huge production that it already was.

Shockingly, he was a very good kisser and it did feel pretty electric, but I had never been kissed in public before and I hated it. And also he was clearly bad news so I kept pulling away. At this point he was like "I've never had a date go like this before, I've never had a girl leave like this, this has never happened to me before, never" and I just remember how truly shocked he looked.

Anyway I fled the scene. The end

[usamamoweek2024]

Meet the Creators - Midnightdrops

What username(s) and platform(s) can folx find you on? (Please include links!)

@midnightdrops- can find stories here on AO3

(Fun Fact) What is your favorite kind of potato?

Sweet potato!!! they're so delicious :)

How long have you been creating works in fandom spaces? How long have you been active in the SM fandom?

Oh gosh I think the first Sailor Moon fanfic I wrote was in 2011 (same year I joined Tumblr and became truly active in the fandom), so it's been nearly 12 years now! But before I created works in the fandom, I was a part of the sailormoon(dot)com community, which had a lot of RPG forums, and I joined those around......2006? It's so hard to believe I've been a part of the fandom for so long :')

What type(s) of creative works do you usually make? (fanfics, digital art, cosplay)

Usually fanfiction! I do love making digital art too, though; my love for my ships holds no bounds 🤗

What do you enjoy about creating for the SM fandom?

The boost of serotonin it gives me and that I get to share with others!

Are you strictly UsaMamo or do you create for other pairings as well?

I mostly stick with UsaMamo! I do love exploring other ships like ChibiTaru and (one-sided) Beryl/Endy though, and would love to create more work for these ships (or others!) in the future ^^

What inspires you to create works for Usagi and Mamoru?

Getting to imagine my OTP in so many scenarios and share/discuss that fun with others is super inspiring for me :)

Do you tend to work on multiple projects (WIPs) simultaneously or try to finish one at a time?

😅 Multiple WIPs simultaneously (sorry y'all)

Do you prefer large projects (chaptered fics, webtoons/zines, highly detailed art) or small projects (one-shots or simple art)?

Small projects! As much as I love large projects, my short attention span and personal life just work better with smaller ones ^^

Are there any common themes, situations, tropes, or mediums in your work?

I always love writing the "involvement of the inner senshi in UsaMamo's relationship and it leading to hilarious disaster" trope. It's fun, silly, and brings a smile to my face everytime.

Is there anything you haven’t explored artistically and would like to try?

I'd love to try a month of prompts challenge, finish my WIPs (😭), or paint (irl) UsaMamo!!

[allylikethecat]

ally!!! congrats on finishing the january prompts !!! i have enjoyed them so much & am very happy to have 31 prompts to look back on when i’m need of some fictional!george and matty

also!!! as the self-proclaimed #1 fan of YKWTCI I was very excited for this update and it did not disappoint (tuesdays have quickly become my most anticipated day of the week thanks to u and ur fics)).

Poor fictional!taylor and fictional!matty are clearly going through it & you portray their struggles so well. I am especially loving how you portray fictional!matty & his struggles with his new found fame as taylor’s boyfriend ((also the fact that the money from fictional!taylors drawer went ‘missing???’… hmmm wonder who took that - such a good detail!!!)

also fictional!george makes an appearance?????!!! YAY. I love me some fictional!george and cannot wait for a fictional!tay & george interaction — i feel that the angst & jealousy may just be unmatched.

last thing and i’ll shut up!! — the equestrian fic??!!!? do i know anything about horses?? no. do i know that i am absolutely going to devour this fic? yes. the enemies to lovers vibes are so strong and this version of fictional!matty seems so soft & i am in love with him already. i am VERY excited to see where this goes!!

yours,

— 💌💌💌

Hello My Dear 💌 Anon! I hope you are well!

Thank you so much for following along on the January OTP Prompt Journey! It was a lot harder than I thought it was going to be, but I had a lot of fun with it, and am super proud that I was actually able to finish them all! (And also so grateful for everyone that read them- thank you so much for being so wonderful and encouraging!) If you're looking for all of the January OTP Prompts one place, or any of my other prompt fills, they can all be found HERE.

I'm smiling so hard at the idea that Tuesdays are becoming a favorite day because of the updates! Thank you so much for following along and the continued support of this fanfic endeavor! I am *also* a huge YKWTCI fan, and am so happy that people are still willing to give it a chance after all of the May drama with these two IRL. I was really excited about this update and am so happy it didn't disappoint!

Oh my gosh thank you so much 🥺 Fictional!Taylor and Fictional!Matty are both very sad and fucked up in their own ways in this fic, (I've been calling them my fictional bisexual disaster duo lol) and I have really enjoyed writing them and developing their characters and motivations. Getting to explore Fictional!Matty's relationship with his essentially "over night" fame in this fic is also a lot of fun- I can't imagine a universe where the character I've created with all of his issues would handle it well, and that it wouldn't have an impact on his self worth only being "desired" because of who his parents, and then later his "girlfriend" are. I was also way too excited about the missing money bit 😂 and was so very much hoping that someone would comment on it so a HUGE thank you for that😂 (this is like when I was very eagerly waiting for someone to comment on Fictional!Matty doing coke in Fictional!Taylor's bathroom and her totally missing it- and then being SO EXCITED when someone commented about it, I'm like yes, excellent, my hints are obvious enough lol)

We still have another chapter before Fictional!Taylor and Fictional!George meet (the meeting will be going down in lucky Chapter 13!) but I am SO EXCITED about their pissing match as they essentially both try and mark Fictional!Matty as theirs meanwhile Fictional!Matty has no idea what's going on and is just trying to make it through the day 😬 I was really excited about this chapter though and getting a little introduction to Fictional!George since he hadn't physically appeared yet.

AHHH Thank you for checking out the Equestrian AU as well! As very much a horse girl, that fic is so much fun for me to write and I am very much my own target audience (then again, I am pretty much always my own niche target audience lol) If I ever am just... assuming that people know too many things about horses let me know and i can try and clarify more. Horse things are just such a part of my day to day life (and the day to day life of the people I am surrounded by) that I sometimes forget that not everyone like, knows what a martingale is. One sided enemies to lovers is one of my FAVORITE things and I am having SO MUCH FUN writing it! Fictional!George hates poor Fictional!Matty so much and Fictional!Matty just wants them to be friends 🥺 I can't wait to get into this version of Fictional!Matty's past- if you think he's soft now just WAIT you are going to want to give him the biggest hug (I know I do!) I also really enjoy writing bitchy Fictional!George and it's been a lot of fun to explore a different dynamic with him!

Anyway, I apologize that I have written you the longest response ever. I was just VERY excited to see your ask! I thought of you when I posted the YKWTCI chapter and am so happy that you liked it! Thank you so much again for always being so lovely and supportive! I hope you have the best rest of your week!

❤️Ally

[bsd-cherish-official]

So, it’s October 20th — a date that as far as this blog and especially Cherish’s author and first artist is concerned, is practically some sort of international holiday.

I wanted to have something much more substantial than these two tiny rough sketches out by the time the date rolled around, but as you all know, I’ve been quite busy with all the Cherish content I’ve been wanting to release for this month, so this is the best I can do for the moment, until I have the time to more properly clean them up and color them.

There’s a whole lot that I could say on a day like this — a lot of thoughts in my head just itching to find their way out onto the post, but I think that saying some of it would be a bit premature without first lining up all my proverbial ducks in a row, and I want to keep this post mostly lighthearted, anyway.

So…for now let me say this.

In the past I’ve made posts talking about how just precious and irreplaceable of a character BSD Arthur is, of his sweetness, of his kindness, of his gentleness and selflessness, and how dearly I love him and am glad he came to exist through the series.

All of this could not be more true, and I think that my intense interest and love and respect for him as a character still — all these five years and seven plus months later from the day I learned of him — should speak volumes about just how unique and incredible of character he is, despite his confinement to mostly only two light novels in official canon.

He is a wellspring from which my blog was primarily born and on which it still runs today, with no sign of drying up — a topic I could continue to talk of for ages.

…And yet, I would also be remiss not to mention the real life 19th Century poet of the same name upon which he was heavily and inseparably based, and to which we owe the entirety of his existence.

I had said once in passing that I wished a happy birthday to the tragic disaster of a human being that was him, but in hindsight, I don’t think that such words carry even half the weight that I wish to evoke when I say that I want to celebrate his birthday, too.

I know that a lot of people when they talk about BSD will wish the irl namesakes of their favorite characters a happy birthday, and I feel like my well wishes in the past also came off in this same way as many of them mean it: “Here’s an obligatory celebration of your existence because without you, this character couldn’t have been”…but the thing is, that in no way sums up how I feel about the situation at all.

Maybe, in the early days of my research into the author, it might have been like that, but it is not anymore. And it is not just as a poet, but most especially as a human being, that I wish to see and partake in Arthur’s birthday celebrated.

My lengthy and dedicated research over the years has taught me that at heart and in truth he was actually not this heartless, needlessly cold, absurdly cruel and gratuitously offensive, irredeemable little shit “everyone would hate if we met him today” that we see sensationalized in the various forms of media and clickbait articles, but rather, just a deeply troubled teenager who from a very young age continuously suffered through some of the worst shit imaginable, surrounded by terrible people and circumstances in a time where he quite frankly didn’t belong and in which the odds of his chances at finding genuine happiness and peace were almost nil from birth. Yes, he made many mistakes and sometimes did things that were definitely not quite right — he was absolutely as flawed a human being as you or I, but not more flawed, not evil. Once he broke free from the people who made his life hell, he became a perfectly decent and average — though withdrawn, emotionally devastated, and creatively burnt out and defeated — adult.

And it is to him — the tortured soul who yearned for more than the unlucky cards he was dealt, who dared to dream but whose dreams burnt up in the atmosphere and left him just a shadow quietly navigating the world he didn’t want to live in until his premature death — that I reach out to today, and on every day and every time that I write Cherish.

If I could reach out to the past and just give him a hug, tell him that he and his works are loved and heard and remembered by people that will not be born for decades — even centuries — after he has passed, and that he is not alone, then I would in a heartbeat. But since I cannot, all of this will just have to be enough.

Happy Birthday, Arthur Rimbaud. Both you and your BSD self. I’m so far beyond glad that you were born.

[halfagone]

For the ask game:

🥰 🎨⏳

oooh~ Now those are some great questions!

🥰 How do you feel about reader interaction? Are you open to receiving questions about your fics?

I'm always happy to receive questions about fics! I used to be able to reply to all the comments on my works, and while I am very behind on Ao3, if there is a very important or pressing questions I do try to reply to it quickly. I'm hoping to catch up eventually, but seeing as I have... uh... almost 8k in unreplied to comments, you can understand that it'll take a while. So if you have commented on something, it has been read! And I hope someday you'll get that reply I wish I could've given from the start. As for questions themselves, I might not always have an answer for them? Or I might not be able to answer completely because of fic spoilers. But if you let me, I can write an entire literary analysis on some chapters or fics. XD I have a lot to say about my blorbos.

🎨 How do you feel about fan art of your stories?

I loooooove fanart of my stories. I am very grateful to have received a lot of incredible pieces of arts from people who read my fics. I'm always happy to post or link it in a chapter whenever possible, with the artist's permission. It's one thing to imagine the scene out in your head, but to have an artist's rendition is all the more amazing. I've had so many different versions of Danny and Cass' Halloween costumes, and I love every single one of them. I cannot get enough fanart.

⌛ How long does it take you to write a fic, or a chapter?

Now this is a little more complicated. As some people might notice, when I wrote Full-Time Hero, Full-Time Disaster, I made a post about it on Tumblr ahead of time and then the next day I had the fic posted. It took me about 10 hours to write almost 10k words, but in that time I also had IRL responsibilities and some self-care things, so it wasn't a full 10 hrs., but that's the closest approximation I have.

If I have a plan and not much else to do that day that I can't slip it in between, I can write really fast. However, some scenes do take a little longer. Fight scenes are probably one of the hardest, because you always have to follow body movements and make sure the flow of the fight is right and you don't want to be repeating the same words over and over again. Emotional conversations take a little more time too, just because the dialogue has to be very exact in some cases. The first example that comes to mind right now would be Damian and Danny's argument in Displacement / Replacement, which came out not too long ago.

I write most chapters in one day, unless it's really long. There have been more than one occasion where I could write 10k in one day. I roughly did that for Full-Time Hero, I did that for Ghoulish. I've written 10k in one sitting for multiple chapters of LL's Ascent, although so many of those fic's chapters have been so long I did have to split it into more than one day. And of course, IRL responsibilities and health can drag it out longer. Sometimes the words just don't flow right one day, and then the next I am slamming the words down so fast my keyboard is squeaking. Which has happened before!

This is really long, but I hope the long responses answered your questions accordingly!

[winderlylandchime]

Yall pray for me because i was woken up today by my brother blasting Chiquitita at 5 in the morning screaming the lyrics on top of his lungs saying he had a dream about Britin and then proceeded to just describe the ep he watched yesterday.

First of I apologize for making you have tears stream down your face before your meetings, i hope all went well and you still kicked ass. You can imagine how it is for me with all the in between that I can’t write in because it would be a length of a book.

Also to answer some of your questions. The man is fucked up on way too much coffee, pain pills and let’s be real…weed, so i am surprised that he even remembers past episodes at times. Part of me hopes they get him off the strong stuff soon but the other part (as his sister) is enjoying everything too much. Don’t get me wrong though, he is the himbo of all himbos so i think majority of stuff would still be said and done without the drugs! Our whole family is surprised on how he’s made it this far in life.

And i had to ask him because it was bugging me all day, what nerd he meant yesterday and he said he was talking about Mel and Michael. Now idk how the actress that plays Mel is irl about Mel but i feel like he was kind of spot on with hal..

And i asked him your question about Brian and Iron Man and he got real quiet while eating cereal and looked at me and said ‘let me get back to you on that’ and then afterwards went outside for a smoke, came inside and went ‘this is a very tough spot you put me in..why would you ask me such question. I mean tony is dead! And Brian is alive and healthy. But they are both so troubled and constantly sacrificing their own happiness..this is tough, i don think i want to answer that out of the respect for the dead *sends a kiss up in the air like iron man is in heaven or something*. He made me pinky promise that we will watch the show after i come home from work and then he pushed me out of the way and went up to my neighbor and all i heard was ‘have you ever seen this show about these two dudes?’ I swear he is treating qaf like a pyramid scheme. Safe to say I am worried what i will return home to.

Dear sweet anon, he’s treating qaf like a pyramid scheme! I’m dying… he’s definitely trying to recruit or convert people to the fandom. He’s like me - I try to drag people into whatever I’ve gotten into. Very relatable.

The funny thing about Hal is that he and Sharon probably have had the biggest careers of anyone on the cast. The most I know about Michelle Clunie outside of her playing Melanie is that she has a kid with Bryan Singer. For some reason I thought he was talking about Sharon yesterday.

I’m sorry for having you bring up Iron Man to him. It’s clearly a sore subject and he is still in mourning. Sorry Brother Anon. And sorry Anon.

Thinking about you today and I hope you don’t come home to too much of disaster.

[dojunie]

THE WAY I GASPED WHEN U SAID THAT JENO DOESN'T KNOW THAT THERE WERE NO SERIOUS FEELINGS INVOLVED IN THE LAKE THINGY AND THAT HE'S KINDA ??? AT THE FACT THAT JAEMIN ACTED ON HIS FEELINGS REGARDLESS OF WHAT MARK FELT WHEN HE COULDN'T that's just drama / a relationship catalyst waiting to be used (winky face) MY MIND IS RUNNING WITH ENDLESS POSSIBILITIES like it seems that jaemin is definitely aware of mc's and jeno's feelings for each other and he seems like the type to give his friends a little nudge when needed HAHAHHAHA but also that seems a bit too cliche so idk 🤔 and yes i agree with you on the fact that jeno seems like the type to just sit on his jealousy and not do anything about it- but also i feel like he's the type who might start acting weird without him realizing it and also i kinda just imagine a point where he's just having a mental breaking down out of frustration and beating himself up for it though i'm not sure if he would have an "outburst" that leads him to confront mc per se like hmm I DEFINITELY IMAGINE HIS PROTECTIVENESS INCREASING QUITE A BIT given how he always seems to keep an eye on her and mc getting ??? bc they already had "closure" (and this is a little advanced but ghad i can already see the disaster for when jeno and mc finally kinda fix things and mark finds out there's something going on between them JFJSKND or does he find out before they kinda resolve things 🤔) REGARDLESS I JUST SMELL DRAMA HOW EXCITING AHHH

but can i just tell you how i find it so cute that jeno just remembers every single little thing about her and just sees right through her all the time like me irl when 🥲

ALSO A SIDE STORY ABOUT THE JAEMIN REBOUND SITUATION??? i'm hardcore jeno biased BUT W/ HOW GOOD JAEMIN LOOKED IN THE DREAM SHOW 2 CONCERT??? (WITH HIS ARMS???) don't mind if i do 😋

AND i'm so sorry if i send you messages at the weirdest times JFISOFK i'm filipino and live in the philippines so i usually read ur stuff late at night HAHHAHAH

-covid anon 🤒 (i can use this emoji as my anon name if ever but honestly i've grown attached to covid anon HAHHAHAHA)

COVID ANON!!! I LOVE YOU !!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

obligatory read more bc i always get way too into answering your asks oml

writing the lake hookup reveal thing took me tf out... actually, i even have a saved copy of what i almost went with in regards to jeno finding that out, a draft of that conversation i didn't end up going with?? maybe you will find it of interest. it is this:

so???? maybe that gives a little insight to where jeno's head is at atm 👀 you're very on point with this jeno being the type to just stew in his own thoughts and start acting a little funny without knowing he's acting a little funny. that's going to show up considerably in CH4 lol, you're ahead of the curve 💪 and jaemin definitely knows... more than everyone thinks he knows, regarding who has feelings for who. but he's also not the person who's going to interfere, because he is of the staunch mindset that both jeno and mc Are Adults, and for them to figure out whats happening with their feelings it's kind of important that they're the ones who figure it out, not him, not mark, not anybody else. he's the relationship angel right now <3

and!! markie bby is finally going to make his grand appearance. will mc's description of him hold up? or will he be the perfect picture of innocence, his intentions marred by the trials and tribulations of being a protective older sibling?? you will find out on the next episode of misdial...!

thank you for giving me so much to think and ponder about covid anon <33333333

[fandommemequeen]

my 2022.

alright gamerz itz that time of year again 4 Gamerz Yearly Retrospective!!!

so uhh im not gonna sugarcoat it: this year rlly sucked. a lot of stuff went down this year that id rather not go into detail abt here, but its been rough and unfair and sometimes i felt like it was never gonna get better. add onto that skool being mega rough, facing tons of imposter syndrome over my identity, anxiety, World Events, and fricktons of executive dysfunction, and youve got urself a total recipe for disaster.

but amidst all the doom and gloom.. i had better days. i played videogames and arcade games, i hugged the stuffing out of plushies, i anticipated release dates for new videogames, i got my hands on the g3 monster high dolls and relieved my childhood, i still luv siivagunner and wii deleted you and invader zim and deltarune, i got into just shapes & beats, i discovered the tourney community through mashup week: megamix and made some amazing friends, i got into creepypasta and yfm and osu and taiko no tatsujin and arcane and tmk, i got kirby and the forgotten land and splatoon 3 both on launch day and have had SO MUCH FUN with both of them, i luved watching ghost files and puppet history s5 after school and catching new toh and g3 monster high episodes,,

ive also acomplished some milestones too. first time getting an award for one of my cosplays, coming out as arospec [and proceeding to fall in platonic luv with my irl bestie xd], getting a compression top/binder, getting the awesome short emo hair i wanted for months, first time cosplaying at a convention, getting diagnosed with adhd and finally confirming what i had suspected for so long but never outright said due to self-doubt and fear of faking, starting medication, being in counseling/art therapy, trying sodas and monster energy and starbucks frappucchinos with no coffee, and learning to luv being "cringe".

but overall the best thing i did to make it through 2022 was,, just being me. i wrote. i drew. i roleplayed. i cosplayed. i scrolled through social media and chatted with friends far away from me. i read and wrote fanfics. i crafted. i brainstormed. i coded. i listened to music and cranked the volume on my gamer headset with cat ears. i was so very Not Normal about fictional characters. i made new friends and still kept up with old ones. i revisited old fandoms. i vibed in the front yard while listening to music. i checked the mail pretty much every day, secretly hoping one of my pieces of fandom merch would be there. i supported my family through the hard times, and they always supported me. i imagined scenarios and animatics and animation memes while listening to music. i listened to fandom lofi while trudging through overdue assignments. i rocked out to skrillex and monstercat and camellia playing beat saber at 8 in the morning for my virtual p.e. class last year. i learned the absolute beauty of platonic love. i started making unironic mary sues just for the heck of it. i felt so many emotions. i cried of happiness and of sadness. i hugged. i made vent art on my phone. i had complicated feelings. i felt like a faker at times. i was [and still am] learning to overcome climate doomism and death anxiety. i was weird, i was imperfect, i was cringe... but i was so cool for embracing my weirdness, my imperfection, and my cringiness, and i wouldnt have it any other way.

i know i can survive whatever life throws at me. ive got my friends and family by my side, and just being me in the face of.. well, everything, is the strongest thing i can do. im tired of lying down and just taking it. im tired of feeling hopeless. i will fight. i will persist. i will find ways to cope with anxiety and executive dysfunction. and above all, i will continue to love. i will love my family and friends who always have my back, i will love my interests and hobbies, no matter how weird they may seem to others, and i WILL learn to love myself.

after my 2019 retrospective post, i always hesitated a bit to look to the new year with confidence and resilience and hope, in fear of my hopes being crushed and being miserable. now i see that no matter what, lifez gonna be hard sometimes, but i am strong and i will NOT BACK DOWN.

so, for the first time in years, ill say it again. and i rlly, TRULY mean it when i say this:

BRING IT ON, 2023. this scenekid and tourney-obsessed geek can and WILL handle WHATEVER U THROW AT ME!!

[amandabe11man]

I realized I actually haven’t watched all of rammstein’s music videos, so I decided to correct that last night. here’s a little tiny review of each I've seen so far! for funsies :]

“du riechst so gut ‘95″:  i’m glad i don’t have scopophobia, or I would never have been able to watch this glorious video. till’s dramatics? beautiful. the boys just standing around barely doing anything? amazing! makes it all the more cool when they all start synchronizing and singing the chorus at the same time while still remaining all stoic (I can imagine how many retakes they had to do, lol. I kept expecting one of them to burst out laughing during a moment of Intense Staring) also: nice dogie

“seemann”: first of all; did NOT expect there to be a video for this song, so that was cool. I liked the 90′s black and white/dramatic-vibe... not sure what that random woman’s purpose was tho? was till angsting about a lost love or smth while he made all the others drag the boat around for him? was that why they tied him to the boat later and made him a figurehead? who knows, but it was pretty good. olli and his bass = MVP

“rammstein”: it took me a while to figure out that the movie clips mixed into this video was from “lost highway”, but then I saw that creepy guy (you know the one) and I was like ‘oh’. anyway, I'm mostly a fan of cinematic music videos, and not really ones that have just been filmed from concerts. I prefer to see concerts IRL rather than filmed. still though, the concert footage fucked pretty hard! I haven’t seen “lost highway” either, so it all just made me wonder what made them pick that movie for the video? maybe it DOES make sense if you’ve watched it, idk. personally, I think it would’ve been cool if the interspersed clips had been footage from the air show crash at ramstein air base, or something related to it. simply because that’s what the band got their name from, and with how I feel the song’s lyrics generally describe different types of chaos and mayhem-- idk, I think that could’ve made for a more impactful video. then again, maybe using footage from actual disasters is a tiiiiiny bit too controversial, even for rammstein...

“stripped”: at first I was wondering whether one of the olympic athletes in the video were actually one of the band members, but nah, it was just clips from some old movie. HOWEVER, the editing, visuals and music just went so well together my mind was actually blown a little bit! I don’t favorite all videos I see, even if I like them, but I was like “I can’t NOT favorite this”, so I did! as someone who has enjoyed video-making and editing since 2007, everything about this video was pretty much like.... video-editing-inspo for me? it was simply very satisfying to watch

okay so that’s the beginning of my quest! to be continued...

[altorav]

NekuShiki question time! :)

Is there anything you might want to change about them design wise?

Do you think they would have children? How many?

If they married, who would make the engagement proposal and how?

1. Is there anything about them you want to change design wise?

Hoo boy. You got me cracking my knuckles.

In general I don't really see any problems with their original designs. Neku's blinding bangs/turtleneck/phones play symbolic meanings, so I won't change his design. What Shiki wore in the first game also actually look quite comfy and practical. If unremarkable, it's in her concept that she's meant to look unremarkable, so that's totally ok. I still would be against her looking like a total fashion disaster if I could though. Unfortunately interesting designs affect how often people are willing to draw characters in fanarts. And...like a lot of people did, I did find her fashion choices in NEO rather...questionable

So my personal take would just simply change her long dress into a normal shirt (I mean, I have no fashion sense irl either, but trousers underneath a knee-length dress just...feels so uncomfortableeee) Her trouser could have some plaits because Nomura is into plaits lately. And flat, laceless shoes for simplicity so you will be directed to look up to her face instead of her hilariously bright-laced shoes. (I wonder if Shiki intentionally wore those shoes so people won't be interested to look her in the eye or something. Damn girl, Neku supposedly taught you some confidence! Where is it!)

And while we're on the topic and I'm that nerdy about this stuff. I might as well share some of my ideas for Shiki outfits while we're at it.

So this was from last year before we even got any news about NEO being a thing. My idea about this is for a possible sequel, Shiki would have been shown to have gained more confidence and started wearing more fashionable clothes that reflect her character development, and due to the issue surrounding her iconicness, her outfit needs to be some kind of homage of her more iconic appearance. So I took the necklace and the short hoodie with prominent pull strings and combine it with her leggings, creating this. I didn't color it yet, but her color scheme would be similar to Mina's.

The hoodie with prominent pull strings continue to be the thing I latch on when designing alternative outfits for Shiki. Including this design I made for how I imagine Shiki looks like in Sanctuary (yes, THAT Sanctuary) based on her description in the fic. Also made last year

Admittedly she looks a bit young here, when she's supposedly 17. I'm gonna revise this design later when I got the chance. Heh

As for Neo Neku?

Honestly I felt a bit off when I first saw him. The sleeves look a bit weird when you see him only from waist-up. But unlike the Shiki one, I've gotten a bit used to it now. Plus I love how he now doesn't wear headphones and turtleneck anymore. Since I had a similar concept for his sequel design just like Shiki's

Accidentally looking a bit like neo Beat it seems

In general, like the Shiki one. I tried to design this outfit to reflect his character development. No turtlenecks, headphones down for most of the time.

2. Do they think they would have children? How many?

Absolutely. Probably not a lot though. Both of them are only childs. Neku in general doesn't really mind growing up alone, he used to think younger siblings would have been a chore to him so he never wanted one. Shiki on the other hand, always wished she had siblings, be it an older sister or a little brother, she always feels like her house can have another occupant or two growing up, so she wants at least more than one. So they ended up planning for two.

However, I'm gonna crush her dreams here, because I'm the no.1 Shiki stan, Shiki ended up having a couple of stillborns the first times they tried. Which scares her for awhile.

Luckily, their third trial actually succeeded, much to their relief, but afterwards, they both found out Shiki could no longer conceive.

So they're always treating their first kid like they're some miracle. Overprotective too, considering the pasts they had. Shiki still wished the kid could have a sibling growing up though, and Neku is always there to make sure she doesn't drag herself down too much.

Later on, they found some traumatized kid on the streets and decided to adopt him. So initial goal achieved I guess???

3. If they married, who would make the engagement proposal and how?

Shiki, now a billionaire thanks to her work, hired a bunch of men in black to chase Neku down and corner him to Hachiko, where she'll jump from behind the statue and save him from an incoming bullet, everything starts feeling like Deja Vu, and in a panic that may or may not be staged, Shiki pulled out her hand to him, showing him a ring inside a small velvet box, yelling: "FORGE A PACT WITH ME!"

[arvandus]

Icarus (Overhaul x F!Reader)

Ah yes, once again so late on this. This one gave me grief because the characters kept deviating from what I had originally planned. >.< But I worked through it, and here we are.

This is for the BNHarem's “On The Job” Collab for May, which you can find here.

Also, don’t judge my super simple title headings for my fics 😂 I always do these late at night when I should be asleep, so generic background with fancy text is the best I got to offer.

Trigger Warnings: 18+ ONLY!  1 instance of aggression/abuse (hair grabbing/pulling - nonsexual), unprotected sex (fun in fiction, dumb IRL), mutual masturbation, overstimulation, bondage via quirk abuse, degradation...

I think that about covers it.  Once again, I’m terrible at TWs so let me know if I missed anything or if anything is inaccurate. 😬 I just kinda write what I want and don’t really think about the labels when I’m doing it.

Pairing: Overhaul x F!Reader

Word Count: 8281

You hadn’t meant to get caught.  Really, you weren’t even sure what had possessed you to do it in the first place. Desperation? Horniness? Stupidity?

 All of the above?

 All you knew was that it was a poor decision brought forth by the gradual culmination of a single annoying, unavoidable fact: you were disgustingly, shamefully, sinfully attracted to Kai Chisaki.

You weren’t exactly sure how or when it started. There was no “aha” moment, no “big bang” of desire.  Instead, it was subtle, gradually coating your unsuspecting mind like layers of sediment. A shiver down your spine when he spoke your name.  The quickening of your pulse at the briefest of eye contact. And the ever-growing presence of intrusive, curious thoughts.

 Like his hands.  You always noticed them, the white of his gloves drawing your attention like a beacon whenever he was within eyesight.  They were dangerous hands, deadly weapons that you’d seen in action firsthand.  They were a thing to be feared and avoided.  But some strange part of you couldn’t help but wonder... what did they feel like?  You imagined they’d be soft and perfectly manicured, oddly delicate for such a violent man; gentle hands packed with destructive power.

 Or his lips.  They were always covered by his mask.  You never, ever saw him without it.  You imagined what your name would look like on them as he spoke, how they’d feel on your skin.  Would his lips also be soft? How about his kisses? Would they be cautious and controlled, or rough and hungry?

 It didn’t help that he was, in his own way, very attractive.  Just like how his dangerous hands were hidden within innocent white gloves, he was the devil hidden behind a pretty face. A sharp, beautiful jawline. Smooth porcelain skin. A crown of auburn red hair, closely cropped, but still long enough to run fingers through.

 You bet that part of him was soft too.

 The one part of him that wasn’t soft were his eyes.  They were beautiful, certainly… as gold as Heaven’s gates and framed in long, perfect lashes.  But they lacked the warmth of Heaven.  Instead, they spoke of cold arrogance. And if you stared into them long enough, you could see a barely contained disgust lurking beneath their haughty exterior.

 The disgust didn’t bother you, not anymore.  Everyone disgusted Chisaki, and everyone in the Shie Hassaikai knew it. He even made his closest confidants, some he’d known since childhood, wear masks so he wouldn’t share the same air with them.  

 He had you wear a mask too, of course. Simple and white, it covered only your lower face, much like his own.  That much you were grateful for, considering some of the masks you’d seen others wearing.  Your only explanation for the slightly less coverage was that your secretarial position made you a frequent point of contact for those outside of the organization.  You handled incoming calls, visitors, and scheduled meetings between Chisaki and his affiliates.  No doubt he wanted to ensure you were making a good impression while still operating within his mysophobic requirements.

 First impressions were everything to Kai.  Even more so since he took the Boss’s place under dubious circumstances. Still, his long-held reputation for extremist thinking and violence preceded him, and not everyone was in support of his unexpected promotion.  As a result, many people within the organization parted ways following Chisaki’s rise to power... and soon after they mysteriously went missing, never to be heard from or located again.  You had no doubt that it was Chisaki tying up loose ends by sealing loose lips.  After all, they say the mouth is the source of disaster.  And Chisaki valued confidentiality above all else.

 The message he sent was clear: adapt or die.  When given such colorful options, the choice on whether to go or stay became a simple one.

 So, you adapted.  As long as you followed orders, kept your eyes down and your mouth shut, you were safe. After all, it was better to be the right hand of the devil than to be in his path.  The only person you really had to fear was Chisaki himself, and you knew him well enough by now to know how to stay on his good side.

 And all in all, it really wasn’t all that bad.  Sure, you had to orchestrate the occasional clean-up when he disposed of someone who displeased him.  But that wasn’t much different than what you’d dealt with when you worked for the Boss, either.  Sure, the aftermath was messier and it happened far more often.  But violence was violence, and when you worked with the Yakuza long enough, you got used to it.  And despite the odd working conditions and ever-present undertone of danger, you remained good at your job. As such, Chisaki brooked no complaint. He tolerated you, and you tolerated him. Interactions were brief, words exchanged were polite and respectful even though they lacked warmth.  But it was just a job, right?  You didn’t need warmth.

 So why did you feel so dissatisfied?  Why did you constantly feel that something was missing, a longing you couldn’t entirely describe?

 The need only ever waned when Chisaki was in your presence, whether it was to discuss upcoming meetings or simply passing by your desk to get to his office. The dissatisfaction would melt away into a warmth that extended deep into your fingertips whenever the cold-hearted man bothered to look you in the eyes. And when he wasn’t looking at you? It was like being thrown into a winter blizzard, the aching cold returning to pull the corners of your mouth down into a silent frown.

 You craved his attention.  It was shameful and pathetic and you could only imagine the scorn he’d give you if he knew, but you didn’t care.  To be graced with the attention of a man who cared for no one brought a different kind of satisfaction.  The rare treats of attention Chisaki did grant you, whether intended or not, scratched an itch that only he could scratch.

 As time passed, the intrusive thoughts became more frequent, evolving from odd curiosities to shameless lust.  They began to occupy your dreams, forcing you awake with a hot ache between your legs. That was when you really began to realize how in deep you were.  It wasn’t just a simple “attraction.”  You wanted him.  At first you tried to deny and ignore, suppress and excuse.  After all, this was Overhaul.  Wanting him was like wanting the sun in your hand, and just as dangerous. Apparently though, it made little difference to your hormone-addled brain.  It didn’t help that the secretive, forbidden thoughts brought their own special addictive flavor of the taboo.  

 You began to act different in front of him.  Nothing too obvious, of course.  After all, you knew Chisaki wasn’t the type to indulge in desperate women. To be honest, you weren’t even sure Chisaki indulged in women at all.  All you did know was that whenever women tried to gain his favor through flirtation, Chisaki quickly and harshly shut it down.

 So, it was little things... the extra second to release a paper from your grip after he’d grabbed it, the lingering of a glance.  You didn’t so much change the style of your attire – skirts and blouses were already the norm for your position – but you changed the colors. A blouse that matched the purple feathery softness of his jacket, golden jewelry that matched his eyes.  Little messages waiting in secret to be picked up, yet subtle enough that they could be excused as nothing more than coincidence. It was risky, but the thrill of the game gave you an outlet for your roiling feelings.  In the end though, it made no difference.  There was nothing about you that seemed important enough to turn Chisaki’s head more than was professionally necessary.

 Which is where the state of things were when you found yourself alone in his office one evening. You had thought he was still working at the time. You’d stepped away to shred some incriminating documents and burn the scraps in the kiln outside.  It was your last task for the day, so you’d entered Chisaki’s office to announce your departure for the evening.  Except when you entered, the space was empty, with all traces of him gone.  No papers remained on his desk.  His gloves and plague mask were gone.  With an annoyed huff you had stood there, bothered that you’d missed him.

 Quietly, you walked to his desk, and gently caressed the mahogany wood.  It was immaculate of course, free of dirt and fingerprints.  You knew it would be because he cleaned his space every evening before he left, and you cleaned it every morning before he arrived.

 You sighed as you retrieved the paper towels and cleaning solution.  No harm in giving it a second scrub to save yourself some time tomorrow morning. It wasn’t like anyone would be foolish enough to enter this space without Chisaki present anyway.

 You should have just left it at that.  But as you walked around his desk to wipe the surface with the damp towel, your bare legs just below your skirt bumped his chair. Soft leather, still warm from where he had sat, greeted your exposed skin.

 That should have been your first clue.

 But your mental alarms never sounded.  Instead, you figured you had just missed him.

 You should have just left, but you didn’t. The warmth on the chair was enticing you. He was gone, right?  Left for the evening.  What harm could it do to indulge just a little bit?  With your heart pounding with excitement, you carefully sat down in the warm leather. Immediately the scent of Chisaki’s body wash and clean clothes cradled you.

 That should have been your second clue.

 But you were already too wrapped up in your enjoyment.  You relished in the sensations, leaning back as you closed your eyes.  It was the closest you’d ever felt to him, as if his very presence was there with you. Your desire purred deep in your gut at receiving its first nibble of satisfaction.  If you closed your eyes, you could pretend he was there, holding you.

 Your kept your eyes closed as your imagination began to take root like weeds in your mind, making your skin feel hot.  Your fingers grazed the inside of your thigh, dipping beneath your skirt while your heart pounded.  What if those were his fingers?  The vision combined with the sensations of touch and smell were delicious, and you wanted more.  You dragged the pads of your fingertips up even higher, your arm starting to push your skirt up with it.  Your legs parted easily, as you let out a shaky breath.

 You shouldn’t be doing this.  Not here of all places.  But there was something so sinfully satisfying about it, the danger only heightening the sensations.  After all, the reward was only as great as the risk it took to earn it.  And this was the highest risk you could take, short of literally throwing yourself at him.  Besides, it wasn’t like your fantasies were ever going to come true. Maybe satisfying yourself - right here, right now – would be enough to finally give you the peace of mind you needed.

 And dear God, did you need it.  You could already feel the heat growing in your loins, the moisture dampening your panties.  Your fingers finally brushed against the warm cotton fabric covering your sex and you let out a soft gasp.

 What Chisaki didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.  He was gone, right?  And you were going to clean up any traces of your little visit before you left.  He’d be none the wiser.

 Your fingers slipped beneath your underwear to meet the hot, slick flesh of your folds, your clit already plump and ready with arousal. You knew it wouldn’t take you long to cum, but you wanted to enjoy this, to savor it as the only opportunity you’d get.  You certainly weren’t going to do this again.

 So, you teased yourself, fingertips softly dragging slow circles around your entrance before dipping in.  A shaky moan left your lips, the quickening of your breaths matching the racing of your heart.  In and out you dragged your fingers, relishing in your sleek, sensitive walls, occasionally breaking your rhythm to spread your juices over your swollen labia. You revisited your clit and stifled your moan with a bite of your lip as you began to slowly massage it with practiced skill.  It felt so fucking good.  The scent of yourself mingled with the scent of Chisaki, and you spread your legs wider, leaning back farther into the seat.  You could feel the surge beginning to swell, and you knew it would be soon. Vivid fantasies danced on the inside of your eyelids, and you were fully enthralled, fingers skimming fast circles over your swollen bud as your other hand began to massage your breast through your blouse.

 “Fuuuuuckk....Kai....” You moaned.

 “What do you think you’re doing?”

 The familiar voice made you jump so hard, you nearly fell out of the chair as your eyes flew wide open.

 There was Kai Chisaki, staring down at you from across the desk – his desk. And there were you, sitting in his chair, spread eagle.

 Your breath was knocked out of you and you felt light-headed with panic.  You caught sight of the shoji screen behind him, wide open to the evening air.

 FUCK. Of course.  You forgot to check outside.  He must have stepped out for some fresh air before returning to his office.

 Shit. Shit, shit, shit.  You hadn’t heard him enter.  How long had he been standing there??

 “I asked you a question.” The man seethed through his plague mask.  His gloved hands were clenched into angry fists, and his eyes... eyes that you’d always craved to see you... well, they saw you now, and you were terrified.

 Immediately, you closed your legs and stood up from his chair. Your mouth babbled soundlessly before your voice finally came, tight and small.

 “I’m sorry.  I’m so so sorry.”

 “I didn’t ask for an apology.” He hissed.

 “I know, I’m sorry.” You blubbered.

 “Come. Here.” Chisaki demanded.

 You obeyed, struggling to adjust your skirt as you approached him from around his desk.

 “I didn’t tell you to touch your clothes.” His tone was quiet and constrained yet sharp as a razor’s edge, each word uttered with meticulous precision.

 You stared at him in shock as you slowly removed your hands from your rumpled clothing.  His eyes raked over you, top to bottom, and left you feeling... exposed.

 “Look at you...” he grumbled.  “Disgusting.”

 His mask was unnerving, blocking the lower half of his face and keeping you from being able to fully read his facial expression.  His gold eyes were threatening – predatory like a wolf.

 He was going to kill you.  You knew it was coming. He’d killed others for far less.  But you weren’t ready for it.  You didn’t want to die.

 You dropped to your knees and bowed low in front of him, shrinking yourself to fit beneath his harsh glare.  “Please, Mr. Chisaki-“

 “Overhaul.”

 “Overhaul!” you corrected, as you bowed your head lower to the ground. “Please forgive me.  I meant no disrespect.”

 “No disrespect?” he sneered.  “You debase yourself in my seat, my place of business, and claim no disrespect??”

 His left hand reached forward at lightning speed and grabbed you by your hair, forcing your head back until you were looking him straight up at him.  You winced against his harsh hold on you, yet clenched your teeth in an effort to keep your silence.  He glared down at you as his next words came out through what you could clearly hear as clenched teeth.  

 “Clean it up.”

 With that, he shoved you away from him. On shaking, clumsy legs you pushed yourself to your feet and made your way back to his desk, your skin hot with shame and your ears ringing.  

 You did as he commanded, grabbing the cleaning solution and spraying his seat before carefully, meticulously, wiping every inch of the rich leather.  Minutes passed in silence as you made sure that no spot went unnoticed, even ensuring that the table was once again cleaned as well. By the time you had finished, Kai’s temper seemed to have dwindled to a simmering flame.  His hands were no longer clenched in fists at his sides. Instead, they were tucked deep into his pockets as he supervised you.  It did little to comfort you though... you knew that Chisaki’s reflexes were faster than you could dodge.  He’d catch you before you even reached the door.

 Not that you’d try to.  You knew better.

 When the chair was finally pristine, you disposed of the last of the soiled paper towels in the wastebin and returned the cleaning solution to its home. The task was done, but you didn’t stop. You picked up the trash can with the intent of disposing of its contents; you knew Chisaki wouldn’t want it sitting in his office.  

 It was all to buy you time. Time to figure out what to say or what do to convince Chisaki to spare your life.  But you didn’t even make it to the door before Chisaki’s voice halted your retreat.

 “Where do you think you’re going?”

 “I... I was just...” you stammered.

 “I didn’t give you permission to leave.”

 You swallowed and set down the trashcan.  He approached you slowly, until he was a mere few inches from you. He was so close that you could smell his cleanliness and see the pupils of his eyes dilate as he stared at you.  Slowly, he grabbed the mask that was covering your mouth and nose and removed it from your head.  You stopped breathing.

 There was something... electric in the air.  You could feel it on your skin, making your hairs stand on end and your flesh tighten with goosebumps.  His eyes peered at you intently, taking in every subtlety of your face.  Your lips, your eyes, your skin... and beneath the weight of his stare, you could feel the fear start to transform, replaced by something else entirely.  Something familiar that’d been plaguing you for months, lighting your veins with fire and threatening to incinerate you if it wasn’t released.  After all, part of his allure was the danger. And he hadn’t killed you yet, which meant... something.

 Chisaki’s gaze began to wander beyond just your face, taking in your still rumpled clothes.  The top couple buttons of your blouse were undone, exposing the skin of your neck and the edges of your bra.  Your skirt was still askew, and although he couldn’t see it, you became acutely aware of your still-damp underwear trapped between your folds from when you had hastily closed your legs earlier.  You stared back at him, waiting for him to do something, say something.

 And that’s when you noticed it... a faint flush across his pale cheeks, peaking out from beneath his mask. His chest was rising and falling with each breath, and it was as if he were contemplating something, silently weighing a decision in his closed-off mind.

 A strange bubbling sensation began to build within your chest, foreign and oddly out of place.

 Hope.

 Finally, Chisaki spoke, his voice unusually calm considering the trouble you were in.  “Follow me.”

 Not one to disobey him, you did as he requested as he made his way over to his desk and sat down in his chair.  Then, with an open hand, he gestured at his desk.

 “Sit.”

 Confusion.

 “W-What??” you stuttered.

 “I said sit.” He replied.

 You did as Chisaki commanded, fitting yourself between his legs and his desk before hopping up slightly onto the surface you’d just cleaned. You were right in front of him now, your hands in your lap and your ankles crossed as you realized just how perfect this arrangement was for him to see directly up your skirt.  You worried your lip between your teeth as you watched him assess you.  His elbow was resting on the armrest of his chair, his fingers supporting his face along the jawline as he stared at you with his head cocked at an angle. If it were any other situation, you’d say he looked almost bored... but the glint in his eyes spoke of something else entirely.

 “Continue.” He stated.

 “What? What do you mean?” you asked.

 His eyes stared at you knowingly.  “You didn’t get to cum, did you?”  You shook your head, stunned at his words.  “Continue.” He repeated.

 “Right here?”

 “Where else?  It was good enough for you earlier.”  His tone dropped slightly as his eyes narrowed.  “Continue.”

 Your heart pounded in your ears as you uncrossed your ankles, and with shaky hands began to trace your fingers up your thighs just as you had done before. Except this time, the experience was entirely different. Instead of closing your eyes like before, you kept them open to stare at your observer, watching for his reaction.  So many times you’d fantasized about this... about his eyes being on you and only you... and you weren’t going to miss a moment of it.

 With your eyes locked on each other, you inched your way up to the space between your thighs, your legs parting to grant you access.  Chisaki didn’t look down.  Not right away, at least.  Instead, he continued to watch your face, his body still and silent.  With the heat of his gaze on you, you finally reached your center where your warmth greeted you.  It was still slick from earlier, your fingers sliding easily along your labia as you began to tease yourself for the second time that evening.  You let out slow, shaky breaths as your fingers rubbed slow, lazy circles over your glossy lips.  

 Chisaki still didn’t break his gaze from your eyes, and a part of you wanted him to.  You wanted him to acknowledge what you were offering him and know that he liked it. A small, devious smirk found itself on your lips as you pulled your fingers away from your pussy to show him the evidence of your arousal stretched across your fingers.  It caught his attention just briefly, eyes flicking to your display, before he watched you lick the glistening strands from your fingertips, the soft sounds of your sucking filling the empty, quiet room.

 Chisaki’s eyes narrowed, and the smirk on your face widened.  Soon your fingers were back between your legs, massaging your clit again as your skin began to feel flush with heat.  Round and round the pads of your fingers went, with painstaking slowness that you drew out just for him.  You wanted to show him how good his presence made you feel.  You wanted him to see how badly you wanted him.  Your lips became more swollen, your clit more sensitive. Already you could start to feel the tension build.  It was almost too easy, your body ready to surrender at the drop of a hat.  But you weren’t going to let it happen, not yet at least.  You wanted to draw this out, to savor it in case it never happened again.

 With half-lidded eyes you stared at him as you parted you folds for him, fully exposing yourself. For the first time, his eyes drifted from your face to stare directly at your desire for him – your tight hole open and waiting, every inch of your swollen cunt drenched in glistening arousal.  Chisaki was captivated and you felt your blood surge.  You needed more. With your fingers still spreading yourself open, you dipped your middle digit into your tight heat.   Pleasure bloomed within you and a soft groan vibrated from the back of your throat. With each draw of your fingers, your breaths quickened, your back arching as the tension began to build.

 You struggled to keep your eyes open, to watch Chisaki as you brought yourself closer to orgasm, but it became increasingly difficult. You were single-focused now, chasing your much-needed release with each plunge of your finger into your soft depths.  Your body accommodated it welcomingly, and so you added a second, once again relishing in the renewed stretch that caressed your inner walls. The faster you pumped your fingers, the better it felt until your nerves were singing that familiar hum.  You flowed seamlessly into the final phase, your wet fingers leaving your entrance in favor of rubbing hard, fast circles over your clit.  The finish line was in sight now as your body sprinted with tense, aching muscles and breathy moans.

 You came with a gasp, back arching and thighs twitching as you rode out your orgasm. As you neared the end of it, you dipped your fingers in one last time as your walls gave one last final spasm of pleasure.  Gradually the wave of your euphoria calmed, returning to the gentle, lapping waters of desire that still moved within you to the rhythm of your heartbeat.

 You opened your eyes to see Chisaki still staring at you silently, his eyes once again locked onto yours. The flush across his cheeks was very much apparent now, yet his posture remained unmoved. Still, out of curiosity, you dared a quick glance down to his lap to see his hand strategically placed over the bulge in his pants.  Was he trying to hide it?  Because he was failing.  Or was he stroking himself through his clothes when you weren’t looking?

 “Again.” He ordered.

 Your eyes bulged.  “Again?”

 He didn’t bother to answer, instead waiting silently.  You were a bird trapped in the golden cage of his eyes as your mind struggled to recover enough from the hazy aftereffects of your orgasm to think straight.  He wanted you to do it again?

 At first you were hesitant. You knew your body was still sensitive from what had just transpired.  But then again… your eyes stared at Chisaki’s crotch again as he waited for you.  No doubt he saw you staring, yet he did nothing, said nothing.  It almost felt like an invitation… or a dare.  Do it again and see what happens.

 Fuck. You’d already gotten under his skin... might as well see how deep you could go.

 Between your orgasm only moments before and the juices still coating your pussy, the sensations of your touch at first felt almost... numb.  Except for your clit.  That part was still sensitive, making your muscles twitch and your breath hitch in your throat as you moved your fingers over it experimentally. You kept your touch gentle at first, careful to give your body time to respond as you reawakened the lust that still lurked in your core.  With dark eyes you began to stroke yourself for him again, pulling soft pleasurable moans from your gently parted lips.  It was definitely more intense this time, and you could already tell that this next orgasm would surpass the one before it.  Still, you drew it out as you watched Chisaki.  Or, more specifically, watched his free hand.

 It didn’t take long... you watched his fingers grip around his hard-on through his pants, his hand slowly moving up and down his restricted length.  You bit your lip at the sight and immediately felt a generous wave of hot arousal bloom between your legs, your nipples hardening achingly.  It wasn’t enough to capsize you into ecstasy, but it certainly pulled a needy whimper from your lips.  

 You dipped your fingers into yourself, feeling your walls flutter as you imagined what it would feel like to have Chisaki inside of you.  With each curl of your fingers the heat grew, like the sun reaching its zenith.  You wanted it.  You wanted to cum so badly.  But you wanted to see him even more.  So, you neglected your puffy clit in favor of unbuttoning your blouse just enough to grant you access to your sensitive breasts.  You pushed aside the cup of your bra to free the plump flesh, the bud at its center tightly puckered.  With deft fingers you massaged the soft skin before rolling the nipple slowly between your fingers, pulling more soft gasps and gentle hums from your lips.  The more you groaned and teased yourself, the more Chisaki stroked himself as he watched you, his eyes glowing with hunger.

 It wasn’t until you began to lose yourself, your eyes beginning to drift closed as you moaned and whined to the ebb and flow of your pleasure, that your patience was finally rewarded.

 You could hear it over the sounds of your lewdity – the ‘click click click’ of a zipper being pulled down.  You opened your eyes, not even attempting to hide your eagerness, as Chisaki freed his cock from his pants.

 It was beautiful just like the rest of him; long with a slight curve, its tip red and shining with precum.  Veins stood out in relief, trailing his length like vines, thick and beautiful. You swallowed at the sight of it, desperately wanting to know what it would feel like to have that in you.

 You hadn’t realized your own movements had frozen until Chisaki’s smooth voice cut through your thoughts.

 “I didn’t tell you to stop.” He said, as cool and professional as ever as if he didn’t currently sit before you with his dick in his hand.  

 He was gloating, you knew it... your stunned silence at the sight of his cock stroked his ego just as much as you touching yourself for him did. And you knew that, above all else, Chisaki loved to have his ego stroked.

 “Y-yes Mr. Chisaki...” you whispered, before your fingers began moving again.

 You continued to stroke and play, penetrate and rub as you watched him take his long cock in his hand and begin long, steady strokes.  Even now, he still kept his gloves on, and somehow that made his every move even hotter.  He was no longer propping his face up with his other hand.  Now, he was sitting up straight, eyes on your needy cunt as you put on your show for him.  You could see it, the tension in his temple that came and went, hear the ragged, quick draws of his breaths through his mask.  Your own arousal grew in response, egged on by him searching for his own sweet relief at the lewd sight of you.  It blossomed like a watered seed as you drank in the man in front of you – his hand pumping, precum dripping.

 It was the push your sensitive body needed.  You came surprisingly fast, your orgasm crashing over your body with greater intensity than the first.  Moans and gasps ripped from your throat as your body spasmed, and you made no effort to quell your cries, too consumed by your own pleasure.  With eyes squeezed shut, your hips rocked as you grinded yourself against your hand, your entire body singing in unbridled bliss.

 You were given no respite.  As soon as the pleasure eased just enough for your hips to still, Chisaki spoke.

 “Again.”

 Your eyes, still closed, flew open to look at him with incredulity.  You weren’t even recovered yet, your cunt still twitching with the aftershocks of pleasure. You knew that touching yourself without some sort of break was going to lead you down a jagged, torturous road of overstimulation.  It made your legs start to close up instinctually in denial.

 Your mouth moved silently before you pushed the words out.  “B-But... I can’t....”

 Chisaki’s eyes narrowed, his brows lowering... and along the edge of his mask, you could see his cheeks lift slightly.  He was smirking at you. Cruelly.  

 “You can, and you will.” He said.  A wave of his fingers told you to reopen your legs for him, and you did, slowly, as if you were a puppet on strings.  “Again.” He repeated.

 Chisaki took a moment to remove the glove from his stroking hand before giving his cock a couple more languid strokes.  You stared at the exposed skin in awe.  It was everything you imagined it’d be... pale, smooth, nails clean and perfectly trimmed.  Between his hard cock and his ungloved hand, you stared in shameless longing as an excited chill coursed down your spine.  Maybe… maybe if you were good…

 You swallowed the dryness in your throat and returned your fingers to your core, flinching as you brushed against your sore, overstimulated clit.  Chisaki returned to pleasuring himself as you performed for him, his hand pumping steadily.  Watching him masturbate to you was delicious.  He didn’t rush, instead opting to taking his time, his hand moving smoothly from base to tip, occasionally pausing to run his precum over the head, the shine glinting in the light.  You subconsciously licked your lips, wondering what it would taste like. Would you lick it from his tip? Or his finger?  Maybe both?

 You matched your pace with his, letting his own strokes guide your hand.  The synchrony made your pussy ache more than ever, even as your body screamed for freedom – a break from the constant wave of stimulation that you were subjecting yourself to.  It made you feel closer to him, more connected - as if he were a part of your pleasure without actually touching you.

 But dear God, you desperately you wanted him to touch you.

 He continued his strokes, slow and easy.  Whether it was for him or for you, you weren’t sure... you weren’t even sure if he was aware that you were pacing yourself with him.  His speed gradually quickened, the muscles of his forearms tensed and twitching as he pumped his hard cock with growing fervor. It was the hottest thing you’d ever seen, his eyes starting to roll back in his head as he began to lose himself to the pleasure, legs twitching slightly as he came close... Your heart pounded with excited anticipation as you dipped your fingers into your core, feeling your walls flutter with need.  It was happening... he was going to cum...

 But he never did.  Instead, his pace began to slow as his eyes refocused on you. That was when you realized….

 Chisaki wasn’t trying to cum yet… he was edging himself.

 Maybe he was waiting for you.  Or maybe he had his own agenda.  But either way, it was clear to you that he was delaying his orgasm.

 The hypocrite.

 Still, you wanted to please him. You wanted to give him want he wanted, because then maybe he could give you what you really wanted.  But no matter how hard you tried, no matter how fucking hot the entire situation was, your own orgasm evaded you.  

 It was more than just the repeated orgasms and overstimulation.  The real issue was that your fingers no longer satisfied. Not after seeing what he had to offer, and certainly not after seeing how horny you made him.  You wanted him to touch you, to put his hands on you, to feel his cock in you... A frustrated whine escaped your lips as you felt your resolve break.

 “Please, Mr. Chisaki...” you begged.  Chisaki’s eyes left your open pussy to lock with yours.  Their golden depths burned holes into you, and you licked your lips under the heat of his stare. “Please touch me...”

 Chisaki froze mid-stroke.  “Touch you?” He said it as if the idea repulsed him, yet his eyes betrayed him as he looked back down between your open legs.

 “Please,” You begged.  “Don’t you want to?”

 His brow was deeply furrowed, and you knew he was having his internal debate, just as he’d had before.  After all, what you were asking was no small order.  You knew how he felt about touch.  No doubt he would have already been balls deep in you had it not been an issue for him.

 But that was why you begged. And pleaded.  And groveled.  Anything to make him set aside his golden rule, even if just for one night.

 “Please...” you whined one last time.  “I’ll do anything.  I need you, Kai...”

 Something about you using his given name did something.  His eyes widened slightly, his flush reaching down to his exposed neck.  Then his eyes narrowed, as he stood from his seat.  You watched with a mix of excitement and trepidation as he carefully removed his jacket and loosened his white tie.  He towered over you, his stare pinning you somewhere between his contempt and his hunger as he undid the cuffs of his black shirt and rolled up his sleeves to the elbows. It made your pussy throb and your heart pound as you stared back at him, completely vulnerable.  He stepped forward slightly, filling the space between your legs with his presence.  Even just the graze of his pants against the inside of your knee was enough to set off fireworks on your skin, causing your breath to hitch in your throat.  His cock was still out and hard, mere inches from your tight, needy cunt, and it took every ounce of willpower not to scoot down and close the gap between you.

 You waited.

 “Touch you...” he muttered through his mask, his voice low.

 Chisaki’s eyes raked over you, taking in every inch of you.  Your trembling, parted lips and large pupils; your exposed breast with its perky, hard nipple; your swollen and glossy cunt framed in ruined underwear that was carelessly shoved aside; the sweat from your thighs coating his desk.

 “So fucking filthy.” He breathed.  The profanity sounded strange on his lips, almost more like a prayer than an insult.

 He stared at one of your thighs as he slowly placed a warm, gloved hand on it. You reacted immediately, gasping at his touch, and his eyes darted to yours.

 “...And needy.” He added.

 From your peripheral you could see his other hand grip his cock and begin to pump it. You tried to watch... you wanted to watch.  But the heat of his hand on your thigh made nearly everything else fade away until it was all you cared about.  Your breaths began to come in hot pants as your body trembled beneath him.

 “I didn’t realize that you were so desperate for me.” He said calmly as he continued to stroke himself.  His gloved hand squeezed your soft flesh until you were moaning from the mixture of pleasure and pain. “Pathetic.”

 You were pathetic.  But you didn’t care.  You’d say anything, do anything, just to have him keep touching you.  And if he wanted you to beg?  To cry? To humiliate yourself to earn his cock?  You’d do that too.

 His hand slowly eased its grip as it began to move up, up, up until his thumb nestled in the crook of your thigh, just shy of your sensitive, swollen folds. Your hand immediately made way for his as you laid down completely onto his desk, your world spinning.  A warmth fell over you like a blanket, every fiber of your being pulsing at a low hum; you were a glass vibrating at a frequency just shy of shattering.

 Chisaki’s voice floated through your haze like a faraway song carried on the wind. “You were so eager at first.  So willing to shame yourself – shame me – to get what you wanted.”  He scoffed. “Now you can’t even do as I say.”

 You could feel his thigh twitch against yours as he began to pump himself faster. His cock was so close to your pussy that it was torturous.  It made you want to cry.  You could feel the warmth of fresh juices begin to flow from you, coating your entrance in invitation, as you prayed to all the gods above and below for him to enter you without mercy.

 But it never came.  And his hand never ventured further.  Slowly, your thoughts trickled back ever so slightly, and you realized he was waiting for you to speak.  Slowly, around a heavy tongue, you made clumsy words.  “I... I’m sorry...I’m trying... is hard...”

 Chisaki tsked.  “You’re afraid.  Afraid of pushing past your limits. So now I’m going to help you.”

 His gloved thumb crossed the threshold to your swollen bud, and your world exploded into color as a sharp zing of pleasure erupted from between your legs. You cried out, your body spasming, hips writhing to escape his touch. It was too much...

 “Where do you think you’re going?” he demanded.

 Then he did something you didn’t expect – his bare hand released his cock and slammed down onto the desk.  The surface rippled beneath you, transforming until smooth arches of dark mahogany wrapped themselves over your arms, effectively pinning you down.

 Your heart pounded wildly in your chest, your breaths coming out in quick, panicked gasps.

 “Kai!” you protested.

 He bent over you and grabbed your jaw in his gloved hand, his plague doctor mask inches from your face. “You wanted me to touch you,” he whispered.  “Now you’re going to get what you asked for.”

 The look in his eyes wasn’t as controlled as before.  Sure, the disgust and hunger were still there.  But there were more emotions now, peaking through the cracks of his practiced façade.  Anger, contempt, fear, desire, longing... and something else; something wild and unhinged.

 Something within him was on the verge of breaking, of being set free, and you were the one responsible.

 He straightened himself up and returned his gloved hand to your sopping core, his cock once again in his bare hand.  His thumb found its home again, nestled firmly against your engorged clit.

 He wasn’t gentle, he wasn’t slow.  Instead, his thumb ran swift, relentless circles, the digit igniting every frayed nerve. Each swipe had you crying out as wave after wave of sharp, jagged pleasure assaulted you, without so much as a second of recovery in between.  And as Chisaki raced you towards that inevitable cliff, his own hand pumped himself hard and fast.  His strokes began to become erratic, his composure slowly slipping as you began to unravel before him, your whines and cries luring him to follow you to the point of no return.  You could feel his own legs began to spasm against your inner thighs, his hips beginning to jut forward with each drag of his palm along his hard shaft.  The gap between your two bodies began to close, until you could feel the tip of him brush against your core. In that instant, you came undone beneath him with his name spilling from your drooling lips.

 The temptation was too much.  He entered you as you came, his cock burying itself within your clenching walls with a single thrust.  Your legs wrapped around him instantly as your body exploded into a mess of tears, shrieks, and trembles.  With one hand on your hip and one working your clit, he fucked you through your orgasm as you cried and panted, his own grunts joining your one-person symphony as you felt every fiber of your being shatter with white hot pleasure. It was all-consuming, disorienting.  You weren’t even sure you were a person anymore.  You could feel nothing else, see nothing else except the man inside of you, hovering over you, filling your existence.

 It didn’t stop. Even after you were a blubbering mess, tears streaming down your cheeks, your thighs and cunt sore, Chisaki kept going, his cock reaching new depths as it dragged against your spasming, sensitive walls.  His breaths were heavy, each pant labored until he ripped his mask off his face.  It was like a switch had been flipped, changing Chisaki from a man in control to nearly animalistic.  Teeth bared, sweat beading across his forehead, golden eyes absolutely feral. His thrusts took you past your orgasm, unrelenting, and you cried and babbled for him to stop, it was too much, your body couldn’t take anymore.  But even as your string of incoherent words begged for the end, your body spoke of a different kind of freedom, your legs tightening around Chisaki’s waist in an effort to pull him impossibly deeper into you.

 Chisaki snarled, releasing his hand from your cunt as he continued to fuck you, and removed his remaining glove with his teeth.  Suddenly, the white fabric was being shoved into your mouth, gagging your broken words behind its white cotton that smelled and tasted of you.

 “Shut up.” He growled.

 You could see the hives breaking out across his damp, flushed skin now at the contact, but it no longer seemed to matter to him.  And it didn’t matter to you either.  You were wrapped up delirium, your eyes glossing over and rolling into your head with each drive of Chisaki’s hips. Your hips couldn’t even keep up with his thrusts anymore; his movements were too rough, too fast.  All you could do was lay there and receive him as he pounded you without restraint.  That familiar knot was forming again, a dark beast built from the broken pieces of the last. It was a terrifying thing, a formidable presence that you felt building within yourself that would surely decimate you.

 “This is what you really wanted, isn’t it?” Chisaki grunted through clenched teeth. “You wanted me to fuck you senseless, to ruin this tight pussy of yours like the greedy, selfish bitch you are.”

 His words washed over you and you gave the faintest of nods, your mouth still gagged.

 “So, you’re going to take what I give you. You’re going to cum when I say, as often as I say.”  His cock hit deep as his thumb gave a final press against your clit. “Now.”

 You screamed around the cotton in your mouth, back arching and arms straining against the wood trapping you as the tension finally erupted.  It tore through your veins, making your fluids gush and your pussy clench like a vice around Chisaki’s pumping cock.  Not a moment later, you heard him groan followed by the hot sensation of his cum coating your walls.  It only enhanced the waves of pleasure still wrecking you and your pussy milked him greedily as he emptied himself in you.

 The comedown felt like it would never arrive. Your nerves still sang too loudly, the aches echoed too deep.  But finally, Chisaki’s hips stuttered to a stop and your own body lay limp beneath him. It felt like you were submerged under water, every sense dulled or muted, as you stared hazily at the ceiling.  Chisaki was still in you, his dick twitching sensitively each time your body gave a weak aftershock. You had thought he would pull out, leave you there like the ruined mess you were to go clean himself up.  Now doubt he’d return to his senses any moment and be repulsed by what transpired.

 But he never did.  Instead, he braced himself over you, his heavy, hot breaths coating your exposed skin as he settled through his own comedown while you warmed his cock.  You felt the desk ripple beneath you and suddenly your arms were freed from their restraints, the wooden surface back to its original state.  A moment later, he filled your view as he leaned over you, and you had a brief moment of panic, wondering if you were next. Was he going to overhaul you now? After all, he got what he wanted...

 But he never did that either.  Instead, he removed the glove from your mouth as his eyes traced over your face, marking every feature, every nuance.  Your parted, chapped lips... your glossy, sweat-stained skin... the exhaustion in your eyes...  His thumb came up to wipe away at the tears drying along your cheekbones before running the smooth pad over your lower lip.

 Then he did something you didn’t anticipate, something that surprised you above all else. He bent down and captured your mouth with his, his wet tongue gliding into your stunned, open mouth.  It was strangely slow, uncharacteristically tender, and entirely unexpected.  The fog you’d been swimming in a moment before lifted slightly, and you began to kiss him back, your arm wrapping up around his shoulders before tangling your fingers into his damp, auburn locks at the base of his neck.

 Whatever it was, it was short-lived.  He brought a hand up to grasp the hand you had around his neck, his fingers twining with yours as he placed your hand back down on the desk, pinning you within his hold. He pulled away from the kiss and stared down at you with a dark smirk tugging the corners of his wet lips.  And his eyes... his eyes burned gold like the sun. Not a beautiful, gentle gold that kissed open delicate flowers and melted winter snow.  No, this was a force of unrelenting destruction, the kind that burned deserts, scorched forests... and melted wax wings.

 You were Icarus, fueled by foolishness and arrogance. You’d flown too close, fueled by a false sense of confidence that you could handle whatever it was that lurked within him, that your lust was enough to match his.  But you were quickly learning you couldn’t.  His fire burned too hot, his hunger too deep. He was going to devour you until there was nothing left.  And really, what did you expect from a man who denied himself every human urge in his quest for perfection?  

 The sun could never be controlled.

 And Pandora’s box can never be closed.

 Slowly, he lowered his face next to yours until you could feel his lips brush against the shell of your ear.

 “Again.”

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL

May 2021 Wk 3

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs.

It’s a cray cray Friday when Vietnam gets its eng subs up before GMMTV Thailand. What alter-reality are we in? Well, the Vietnamese offerings are better right now anyway. (Oooo, feel that burn.) 

Ongoing Series - Thai

Top Secret Together Ep 2 - pulping it up in the best possible way. Sure sound and production values are pants, and in classic Thai fashion the editing in post is exacerbating (rather than fixing) pacing issues, but it’s still CUTE AF. I don’t even mind the added university storyline, because they’ve got good chemistry (and a confident gay fresher after a panicked gay hazer is an old favorite... what can I say, SOTUS was my first love). We aren’t spending too much time with any one couple, so it’s weighted a lot better than Brothers was, but also character development is slow. 

Siew Sum Noi Ep 2 - Unfortunately, it’s just too hard to find, plus no subs. I’m dropping it in the hopes it comes back on my radar some day. 

Y-Destiny Ep 8 - (Thurs) It’s rough having a ghost boyfriend, half your friends are scared, the other half think you’re crazy, and kissing shortens your lifespan. This was a cute couple even if I wasn’t wild about the surrounding story. 

Close Friend Ep 5: (Dear My Star/JimmyTommy) - about high school penpals. It had to rely entirely on voice over work as the actors only meet face to face at the end. It’s a good thing they are appealing screen presences on their own, with good vocal control. It’s hard to imagine any other BL pair carrying this kinda plot. It’s by far my favorite of the series so far, and I’m not even a big JimmyTommy fan. 

Fish Upon The Sky Ep 7 - no subs. Do we care? Not really. Because we have... 

Nitiman Ep 3 - currently my favorite out of Thailand. It’s the university Thai BL i’ve been waiting for since... when was the last good one? My Engineer? Yowza. Anyway we got: head on my shoulder, baby is a floppy drunk (but still wants to be in control), proximity alert, boyfriend’s closet, seme gets seriously jelly, and a cute twist on feeding him. There’s something fun and complex about Jin’s character. He’s not a panicked bi. He knows exactly what’s going on, he just hasn’t decided if he wants Bb or not. He clearly enjoys being looked after, the compliments, and the attention, but he’s not sure if he’s going to like what happens if he gives in. I like that twist on the usual tsundere uke archetype a lot, cautious rather than willfully obtuse or freaked out. We can see Jin realizing in stages: I like this person, I like that they like me, I like the romantic attentiveness. But in the background is... do I actually want to f*k him? It’s a dynamic we don’t often see on BL. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

HIStory 4: Close To You (Taiwan) Ep 10 fin - the most ridiculous show using BLs worst tropes in a sort of weird smoothie of bitter greens and too ripe banana. The ending was the sappiest cheesiest thing ever, like cheese syrup tapped from the cheese tree. So of course I loved it, but I’m pretty sure I giggled through all the bits meant to be profound. Because, in the end, to tolerate this show at all, you just can’t take ANY of it seriously. RECOMMENDED (with some SERIOUS reservations and trigger warnings.) Full review here. 

Be Loved in House: I Do (Taiwan) Ep 1-2 - I don’t mind a damaged seme character but this one is a bit weird for me. Like creepy Cheese in the Trap level weird. On the bright side, the story has given our tsundere uke good motivation for his angst and great existing friendships, loyalty, and likability. Plus I’m invested in the cafe owner/innocent puppy side dishes. So if it’s only the seme character I’m not jiving with, and he’s the most established actor, it should all turn out fine. I believe in you, Taiwanese BL. 

Papa & Daddy (Taiwan) Ep 6 fin - speaking of belief. This such a good show but they gave us a cliffhanger ending. Now we must hope against hope for season two. That’s never guaranteed with Taiwan tho. So, I’m docking a few points and saying, RECOMMENDED so long as you realize it’s a cliffhanger. 

Love is Science? (Taiwan) Ep 1-9 (BL subplot) - this is a good het romance, but the fact that the BL subplot is a beautifully acted disaster bi + confident gay means you’re hearing about it whether you want to or not. Plus they just added in some GL! Come on! I gotta support Taiwan normalizing queer to this extent. They are fighting the good fight and if I also have to watch a career lady and her much younger softest straight boi get it on, too? Twist my arm with that service sub subtext. Go on Taiwan, TWIST IT. It’s on Viki. Join the revolution.   * Incidentally if you actually like the D/s het dynamic of this show, I highly recommend Japanese Kimi wa Petto - career woman keeps a hot young dancer boy as a pet. Oh yes, an actual pet, that IS the pitch. Never doubt Japan when kink is on the line. It’s also on Viki. Go get your kink on, thank me later. (If it helps: That was not a request.)  

Most Peaceful Place 2 (Vietnam) Ep 2 (AKA 5) - love triangles aren’t my thing, but if you’re gonna do it short form, by all means bring in the lead’s other BL pairing so the chemistry is on point. Now I've no idea who I want him to end up with. Can’t they just be in a poly triad? 

My Lascivious Boss (Vietnam) Ep 7 - I’m still enjoying it a lot. It’s still unabashedly queer and the tension is ramping up. We now have secret identity, blackmail, femme fatale, faen fatale, and incoming seme confrontation. Best of all, the series is still airing, which makes it longer than any other Vietnamese BL I’ve seen (aside from Tein Bromance - which is just too weird to count). 

Gossip - Thai BL 

SEVEN PROJECT TEASERS

No one is entirely sure what Studio Wabi Sabi’s Seven Project/7Project will entail. 

It might be like Close Friend (1 episode per couple, no linking), 

or Y-Destiny (2 episodes per couple, loosely linked), 

or The En of Love (4 episodes per couple, linked but independent consecutive stories). 

They’re giving the couple’s arcs separate titles. So each one would be what? Seven Project: Once Upon a Time or the like? We’re in Taiwanese title territory people and NO ONE WANTS TO GO THERE. Anygay... 

Once Upon a Time is the BounPrem (og UWMA) anchor story, and seems to be the most dramatic and likely saddest. These two can handle most of what’s thrown at them at this juncture, so it should be good. 

Vs Love is a BoomPeak (og Make it Right) university vehicle. Since I thought Boom was done with our nonsense, I couldn’t be more thrilled and surprised this pair is doing another show together. I don’t think either of them are the greatest actors but I find Peak very endearing and Boom charismatic on screen, so I’ll watch. 

Would You be My Love is the hotly anticipated SantaEarth launch. They’re a (cultivated) IRL ship and Earth is an established BL actor. They have great chemistry and high energy so this could be lots of fun. 

We are also getting a GL from this series from established BL actresses Samantha and Pineare. Nothing teased yet on that, but I’m looking forward to this installment the most. Also curious to see how the ladies handle the branding and promo side, not to mention the culture. (Thailand variety shows gonna force *girls* to play the Pepero game?) 

Secret Crush on You upcoming Thai BL with no release date, co-produced by and featuring (but NOT staring) Saint and directed by Cheewin (sigh) with all fresh faces. (Previously known as Stalker the series.) It looks like pure pulp and I’m not wild about the plot but could be better than expected as it’s adapted from a novel. Cheewin is an okay director when he has an actual story to follow. 

Don’t Say No the series. Coming from the producers of TharnType this is the JaFirst vehicle many have been waiting for. Friends to lovers + a good boy/bad boy pairing on a sports romance foundation. It’s basketball so they tapped Meen as well (he’s semi-pro). The bad news? You get one guess as to who is writing the darn thing? Yep it’s MAME. So, ya know, expect some slam dunk kidnapping, a light dribbling of rape, and me turning into a basketcase. AKA... 

Will I have to live blog this series in order to survive it? That seems to be the only way I can. So probably. Which means the bad sports puns will continue. Look, if I’m suffering, SO ARE YOU! 

Rumors of a new YinWar vehicle The Best Story (mini series) coming in July. Also rumors that their previously announced Love Mechanics (full length series) has either been delayed, is facing money issues, or is moving studios, or all three. 

Breaking News 

DELAYED (I’m talking these three off the watch list until we get new airing dates) 

Love Area’s release was pushed out but it got a trailer. 

Golden Blood was supposed to drop Weds but comments in MDL report that it is delayed due to C19.  

Love’s Outlet (Taiwan) is supposed to have started a 50 episode run (only 3-5 min each, what utter nonsense). Sadly, this delay is due to a surge in cases in Taiwan which was doing so well, but also doesn’t have many inoculations. 

Bad Buddy has started workshopping at GMMTV actual. 

Kang Insoo’s BTS for Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding is SO FLIPPING CUTE. You have to watch it. Trust me, I don’t rec behind the scenes stuff often. 

Next Week Looks Like This: 

Some shows may be listed later than actual air date for International accessibility reasons.

Upcoming 2021 BL master post here.

Links to watch are provided when possible, ask in a comment if I missed something.

[theringers]

V-card anon: hi sorry about that first ask i kinda went into a fugue state (spelling?) altered state of reality maybe when i wrote that and damn near outlined a fic in your inbox

The way we played hot seat was either part of a larger drinking game when a certain card was pulled from a deck, or just on it's own. You sit in a circle, everyone has a drink, usually a beer or cider. In the card pull version, the one who pulls the card gets asked a question by every person playing and if they refuse to answer they drink from their drink. In the standalone, you do that but everyone gets a turn being asked until people get bored and leave. Fun way to find out shit about people. Usually the unwritten rule is that you can't lie. I imagine everyone sitting on shitty chouches and chairs in a semi circle around a table full of cups and bottles playing it

Questions i have been asked: are you a top or bottom? Do you like anal? Wheres the weirdest place you've fucked? Body count? Favorite position (sexual)? Fuck marry kill/ignore people in this room (EVERY TIME I PLAYED I GOT THIS QUESTION)? Tits or ass or other? Favorite non sexual body part ex. Thigh? Ideal fuck buddy? Sex regrets? Etc

Also more weird details i have head cannoned out for some drivers and most likely does not fit with irl personalities, do with this what you will, use it or don't i just have feelings. Also everyone is like compressed in age to like 20-27ish except for some of the grid who i will just think of as younger alumns who come back:

Danny R: social chair, owns a jeep he takes the doors off of in the summer, walks girls home at night to make sure they're ok, tries to DJ house events and is rebuffed by literally everyone, has like 30 pairs of vans you trip over in his room, stolen roadsigns everywhere, masters in something arigcultural or physiological, cutoff frat shirts for days, fuckboy but nice, a bit cringe, will drive around with you at night so you can scream, met reader bc she had a band tee on and wanted to talk to her about it (no gatekeeping)

Charles: some kind of engineering or math degree but no one has any idea how the fuck he's gotten so far, 4.0 never studies, games with other house members, will show up at events randomly you will have no idea how he gets on your couch but he is there, the best and worst taste in clothes, is the only one allowed to play the piano in the house, sweet, cannot help you with studies but is always down for helping you out after, has to be reminded to clean stuff, disaster bi, reader met his gf first and they probably met through that

Pierre: good fashion and music taste, shirt is gone halfway through the night, also fuckboy but wholesome, actually studies, plays a sport for sure probably soccer in some way either club or Division he's too good for rec, will hold your hair back so you can throw up, will tell you your outfit sucks, good at math, also part of the squad that games, econ major, workout buddies with reader anday have taken a math class together

Max: is part of the hockey team he will go pro, also actually studies, got into gaming because of Charles, has the nicest car, is serious until he gets a couple drinks in him, he and Daniel are close and roomed together at some point, owns like 30 sets of the same outfit a white tee and jeans, knows reader through Dan and they get dragged by him to some of the same stuff

Lando: is a pledge or new member his big is Carlos, undeclared major, just happy to be here, gaming squad, used to play lacrosse or something equally obscure, king of knowing where the good snacks are, weirdly good at beer pong, growing into a fuckboy wholesomeness level tbd, probably sweet with reader as she helped him through a blackout or something, met her because she's basically house mom for some of the new boys (the kind of mom who will teach you to do laundry or iron ONCE)

Carlos: hockey flow but does not play hockey, actually studies and is smarter than what people give him credit for, came from a private high school and uni really opened his horizons, also good study buddy, gets along with most people, goes to office hours the most out of the actually studies gang, fun at parties, owns the frat dogs, he and reader met at Office hours (they were the only students) and found they had mutual friends too

Lewis: is/was president of frat, great grades greater bod, did full evolution from fuckboy to good man, has the back tests and the moral support, up for late noght talks about life, definitely was a D1 athlete, best fashion game, implemented no hazing policy, fits into notable alum or PhD category

Mick: undergrad like Lando, also plays soccer or something, too sweet, also walks girls home/holds your hair back etc, cleans parts of the house that aren't his responsibility, higher alcohol tolerance than you expect, everyone is bizarrely protective of him, legacy member (his dad was a legend), drives a motorbike around campus and can't decide between law and psychology, actually studies, met reader through the frat and she would die for him, brings her to class on the bike sometimes because the bike is faster

George: business major, frat treasurer, three ring binder business casual in class kind of guy, nice enough, shirt comes off when drunk, runs marathons and a podcast about investments, best notes in the game and great study partner, actually studies, is drinking monster at 6AM but not because he stayed up late, he and reader met through the frat and sometimes drink wine and bitch together

Lance: hockey player, legacy member, studies sometimes, sarcasm on point, great at stack cup, very chill, knows every good nap spot on campus, also has high alcohol tolerance, is the kind of person who does well in the cold but does not like it, wears headphones so people don't talk to him, great one on one but not in crowds, business major and minor in computer science, probably also met thru Lance's gf but vibe as more introverted people and will cover for each other if one does not want to go out

Nicky: a good boy, part of the walks people home squad, sets up designated drivers for parties, good snack game, future in medical field, good listener, pretty good study buddy, midnight snack enabler, met reader through frat and his gf he and reader are on babysitting duty together sometimes when others get too drunk/high

Yuki: also a pledge or new, majoring in games or computer science as they gave me the same energy as him, games squad, bit of a mad lad, has several stolen street signs, good, met reader through frat and Yuki is the only one patient enough to explain some games to reader, they cuss people out on mic

Esteban: good man, has a full ride scholarship, actually studies, also good study buddy, Dan's little, plays soccer but maybe on a rec team because he prioritizes school, very sweet guy as well, probably chose a really practical major/dual major, met reader through Dan and are also dragged similar places by him

Antonio: manbun, philosophy or classics major possibly business dual, generally good natured but can be seen supplying his own wine at parties, used to be really into metal but kept the hair, does not know that people find him attractive, soccer boi, met reader through frat and she's the only one who will (pretend) to listen to him rant about philosophy

Alex Albon: another full scholarship guy, somehow gets along with everyone, switched majors due to an asshole professor, electrical engineering or computer engineering, actually studies, helps with frat pets,will show you pictures of his cats at home, sweetie, another contender for will hold your hair or walk you home, probably met reader through a class or club and found they had mutual friends and that reader is friends with his gf

Notable alums:

Checo - dad, successful in finance somehow (he looks like an really successful accountant of CFO to me idk why)

Kimi - dad but people forget he is, holds the record for most drinks in 24 hours that will never be come close to by anyone else, shows up on random alum weekends with 2 kegs, legally cannot tell you what he does or he would actually have to murder you

Valterri - was good at a sport when he was there, now a very effective lead engineer at an architectural firm

Seb - environmental or mechanical engineering, all around good guy with someone the best grades in frat history

Alonso - legendary for sexual exploits (consensual)

Anyone I put as actually studies is probably the type reader would hang around for more serious stuff/schoolwork and would probably be closer to, with the exception of Dan bc I feel like he'd be like we're friends now :)) we shall hang or Charles bc he will just show up. I also imagine she has a pretty good friendship with any existing gf, however if a driver does have a gf and he is the love interest sorry bb girl u gotta go for the purposes of this fic

Sorry this is so long hahaaaaaaa glad you liked my Charles thoughts ilu

i honestly wasn’t going to share this like the rest of the anon asks i’ve gotten that i keep close to my heart but this was just too good to keep to myself.

LOOK! AT! THIS!

f1 drivers as frat bros/college students headcannon

i’m writing a series - each “chapter” will be a smut with a different frat bro and i’m hoping to post a sneak peek this week some time but here’s something to hold you over and give you some ideas

to my vcard anon - i appreciate this so much. my inbox is always open for ur thoughts bc they are SO GOOD !! can’t wait for you to read the first part of the series bby

PS if some of this doesn’t make sense to u feel free to send in asks (i know a lot of this is focused on american college culture so if u don’t get it i’m happy to explain)