#but everyone kept acting like i was saying OP was wrong for expecting her to help him??

[corvidcall]

got into an incredibly stupid argument on reddit the other day and i kept getting really mad because for some reason people kept acting like i was saying the exact opposite of what i was saying?? shannon had to keep reminding me that most peoples reading comprehension is actually not that great but ooouuuggghhh made me angy.

[highpri3stess]

Hello, I just read Monster, and I have to say. Whilst I don't usually read stuff like this bc I'm not a fan, you genuinely outdone yourself with it. Like I love how you portray the reader, she feels like a fully fleshed out character with depth, and I could fully empathise with her and understand why she did what she did. I also like how you portray abuse as it is. Making it clear that it isn't the victims fault. It NEVER is and just bc they didn't openly resist (due to fear or coercion, which I believe was what happened with the reader). This is just my subjective opinion, so please correct me if I'm wrong. Also I fucking hate mikey and izana. Like YH izana is a pos but MIKEY was the reason why this shit even started bc he and izana decided to slut shame reader and acted suprised when Emma rightfully calls them out. And then they have the audacity to balme the reader and then SA her. (Like sure she irgamsed but that was literally the body's response to stimuli. She did NOT enjoy that at all and then mikey thinking that shopping/food was gonna fix it and is like "why are you crying. You're still a virgin 🤓👆" made me wanna run him over. And then izana just being like "nobody's getting in between me and emma" forgetting that a) hr should have kept his fucking mouth shut. Lil bro beefing with a random girl who did nothing to him (fucking manlet) and b) Emma has her own life to live. Like icl it lowkey feels out of touch (or iazna expecting that she'd stay the same but I could be wrong) and that she's a grown ass adult. Ofc she's gonna get a man (draken) and friends (reader) she isn't gonna stick by his side forever but that doesn't mean she isn't his sister and that she loves him (that's going out the window when she catches both him and mikey in 4K terrorising reader)

Long story short. This is fucking amazing. You're amazing and the anons who are hating on you don't deserve even the scum of your shoe.

Also Praying on the sano's downfall. Want reader to go apeshit, pull a moon dong eun (the glory) and document EVERYTHING. expose them and the university and get that bitch shut down, everyone loses their scholarships (emma does too unfortunately which ends the friendship), sano name descacged to the pont of shinichiro, mokey and izana and she takes everyone down with her. The reason why I'm suggesting this is bc I'm imaging that reader slowly grows resentful of emma bc of the SHEER amount of trauma she experiences (all bc she dared be friends with her and they saw it fit to make her life hell) enough that she doesn't care what happens to her by the time she exposes them (OR alternatively. It can go the op with reader completely omitting emma from her exposes bc she did nothing wrong. She stood up for reader and was there during her lowest times. So why would she wanna ruin that for her. And I can see a moral dilema coming on, expose them and the university and cause a scandal, possibling getting it shut down, ruining Emma's career and future by assosiation. OR does she keep quiet, try to figure another or just take it to not ruin emmas nut she's just suffering).

Soo I hopes you accepted my word vomit. Thank you. Sorry if I was rude or intruding on your story if you already had it planned out. I'm just sharing my theories and what my happen.

As always, if im wrong, please don't hesitate to correct me. Thank you.

Oh thank you so much! And no, you're not intruding at all! Your analysis on the two chapters is very spot on and correct! You really took your time to read it and I'm very grateful for it!

I'm thinking a lot about how emma and y/n's relationship will evolve. I wish I could have expanded more on it but time is not on my side necessarily. I will try to do so if I can.

I wish we could get a satisfactory ending where everyone is exposed and there is a scandal (they aren't on scholarship but the school wouldn't want anyone to taint their image.) Unfortunately, it's never always like that in real life and I'm gunning for a more realistic ending.

(Oh I loved the Glory a lot too! I'm totally going to watch it)

[im2tired4usernames]

@oceanlaceagate

Well ok you asked for explaining so I'm so sorry about the rant that's bound to happen I have beef with this woman like many many MANY homeschool co-op mothers I would like to meet her IN THE PIT

uh I guess trigger warning possibly would be like food diets and possibly eating disorders I'm not sure but I would rather be safe then accidentally harm you friend?

my mother was a crunchy homeschool nutter and her entire social group was crazy homeschool mom cultists.They were all obsessed with clean godly eating and losing weight they constantly kept repeating that they needed to treat their bodies like temples and it really wasn't healthy or good for so many reasons.

well one of the women in that group for as long as i can remember (I've know this lady since I was a lil kid) she believes it's impossible for European women to get fat because of *spins the wheel*

She just has some fucked up made up facts about Europe in general like WARNING SHE'S ACTUALLY ON PURPOSE STUPID

like she has for as long as I can remember believed with E V E R Y FIBER in her body (i have argued so much with her she will not budge in her world this is fact) no one once they hit preteens in france eats bread.

France home of the croissant, baguette and many other carbs bready bakery wonders...

Yeah no one there eats bread that is why French women are so thin and healthy they don't eat bread or any kind of sweets! (She and my mom then tried to make me do that for a bit they were always "suggesting" diets on me it sucked in expecting the thm diet and the melted butter+coffee+ apple cider vinegar diet to have fucked up my body somehow)

Apartly in her world no one in Ireland uses any kind of fat when I asked her to explain wtf that meant she said no one in Ireland uses oil or butter which like..

No that makes no sense where did she even come up with that?!I

Once I took a picture of like some fancy imported butter from Ireland at the store to show her and she and the other moms all straight up walked away and would not look at it. They would not talk to me kept actually doin the "talk to the hand" thing and covering their ears and telling me I'm wrong and stupid and to shut up they will not look at the evidence.

This woman is in her late forties to early fifties she has convinced half the homeschool mother cult that no one in France eats bread with no evidence other then she said so!!!!!

They honest to God believe it also!!!!

Recently she was trying to tell me that no one in the UK eats chicken that it's "looked down on as a disgusting poor man's food" she just went on n on on this long crazy rant that made no sense at all but she acted like she was very intelligent and cultured for knowing this.

My best friend and wife is from the UK and frankly i quickly asked them and they were able to point out this lady is just batshit insane.

Like my wife mentioned there's Nandos everywhere in the UK and that serves chicken mainly I have no clue where she's getting her info or ideas.

She got super angry amd defensive and has gone off saying she has two sources "two very reliable very real and very British people who totally aren't made up there her real Facebook friends that told her yup no one in the uk eats chicken only the USA makes fried chicken poor England is missing out on chicken because they're a bunch of snobs who think it's poor people food" so that's what she believes despite a lot of common sense and evidence to prove otherwise but "how dare I question an elder?!'

I really can't explain it like there's no logic or facts in it I myself don't understand it? I have gotten into many fights with this women.

So many fight

so so so many fights

Stupid amounts of fights

not just over this but like over everything under the sun I swear this woman is living a different reality then everyone else.

she just makes stuff up on a fly and then somehow convinces herself and like a dozen other women in they're 40s-50s that everyone in Europe is significantly skinner because they just happen to not eat the food that one lady dislikes...

like I can't really explain more then that this woman has no evidence, refuses to listen to evidence and has the firmest faith in stupidity I've ever seen it's truly kinda terrifying i wish i had her self confidence but also just wow....

I don't think that she's normal I think a lot of American children do actually learn about other countries? I learned about other countries when I was really young my mom would focus on one a month and then I'd have to do a lil presentation at the end of the month in front of my grandad and we'd cook a meal with some traditional foods from there if possible I had a lot of fun learning recipes from all over the world and we'd get a monthly cd with music from all over the world it was so cool! one of my favorite games when I was little with my grandad was he'd spin the globe point at random n then i had to say thw county, the capital, a famous food item from there and one history fact is famous person if I knew one and it was SO MUCH FUN!!!

maybe it's a new homeschool thing or a church thing or maybe this lady is just straight up purposely stupid I'm not sure? I have no fuckin clue this woman is insane I avoid her every chance I can.

[night-fallz]

We’re Tired of Him

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Description: 

It was pretty easy to dislike Damian Wayne. He was an arrogant, stuck-up brat. So when the Titans get a chance to gain blackmail material on him, they took it, along with his brother's eagerly joining in.

They couldn't wait to see the look on Damian's face when he realizes that they know every little secret he has. Who knows. Maybe they can finally get the brat to shut up or if they're lucky, they might be able to force him to quit being Robin.

Or that one time Damian's teammates and brothers decide to spike his drink so they could use Damian's secrets against him.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Ao3 // Wattpad

previous II next 

We’re Tired of Him (Part 1)

Wally does not remember a single time where the Titans have completed a mission without him feeling annoyed or irritated at Robin.

It wasn’t a secret to anyone in the superhero community that speedsters weren’t patient people. They had too much energy pent up in their system to sit still for more than five seconds.

Which is why you shouldn’t expect much from them when you bring them to a discrete, cover-ops mission.

Everyone knew that.

At least, everyone except Damian fucking Wayne.

Wally never liked the new Robin and he didn’t try to hide that fact.

He’d make snide comments behind the kid’s back, purposely being loud so that Damian knew what he thought of him.

Hell, he’s even told Damian straight to his face that no one liked him. But the kid wasn’t affected; he only dismissed Wally with a roll of his eyes and a simple ‘tt’.

As if Wally was nothing but an ant standing in his way.

It annoys him that the kid doesn’t respond to his remarks, but he doesn’t regret making them.

In his head, Damian deserved it.

Who in their right mind decides to abduct someone to force them to join a reincarnation of an old superhero team.

At least come up with a new name!

Wally never wanted to join the brat’s team anyways and he might’ve changed his mind and stayed in the end, but it still doesn’t change the fact that he was forced to be in it.

Despite the fact that the kid might’ve apologized, Wally still hasn’t forgiven him. And frankly, he thinks that he never will.

Especially if he kept it up with the attitude.

The moment the rest of the team stepped into the main lobby, he couldn’t stop the complaints that rolled off of his tongue.

“He’s such a brat,” he couldn’t help but growl out, the disgust clear on his voice. “Like how can someone be such a dick!”

Wally felt some of his anger vanish as his words caused the room to be filled with laughter. It was always nice to know that he wasn’t the only one that had a strong distaste for their team leader.

Though, to be fair, a lot of people didn’t get along with Damian Wayne. He knows for a fact that a lot of them just put up with him because his dad’s Batman.

The more Wally thought about it, the more he wondered if the brat actually had friends.

While Damian was rather close with Djinn, along with Superman’s son, Jon. They were also some of the sweetest people that he’s ever had the chance of meeting. So maybe they just felt bad for the kid.

It made sense in his mind.

After all; who in their right mind would want to be friends with Damian?

Emiko’s voice snapped him out of his thoughts, “What did the kid do now?”

He couldn’t contain the smirk that made its way onto his face, he loved it when they bonded over how much they disliked the new Robin.

And judging by how Emiko and Crush mirrored his expression, he knew that he wasn’t the only one that felt that way.

“He goes and gets mad at me for being incompetent or something. Like it’s not my fault I wasn’t raised by a crazy old hot assassin lady.”

Wally knew that he wasn’t being fair. That Damian couldn’t control how he was raised. And that there was a high chance that Damian could hear him- could hear them- tearing him apart.

But in the heat of the moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care. He wanted the brat to hear him. He wanted the kid to know that even if he was Batman’s son, a majority of them still didn’t like him.

That they only put up with him because they had to.

Not because they wanted to.

There’s a fucking difference between the two and Wally needs Damian to know that.

Crush jumped on the couch, imitating Damian’s pose as she mocked his words, “If you don’t halt your tongue you useless speedster, you will perish under my sword.”

She swung her imaginary sword into the air, pretending to slice Wally’s neck.

He played along, fanning his face as he forced his eyes to roll back before his back hit the soft cushions of the couch.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Djinn and Roundhouse trying to hold in their laughs.

He couldn’t say that he was surprised that they were so reluctant to make fun of their so-called leader, out of everyone in the Titans, they were the ones that tolerated the brat the most.

He saw Roundhouse’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, and he tried to hold in a groan as he heard the uneasy tone come out of his teammate’s mouth, no doubt feeling bad for laughing at the expense of ridiculing one of his favorite heroes.

“Why are you guys so mean to the small man?”

It was such an innocent question, but it made Wally’s blood fill up with such rage.

What they’re doing isn’t mean. It was well deserved. Plus, if Damian cared, he would’ve yelled at them already.

They’ve never been quiet when it came to mocking the youngest bat.

Emiko snorted, her dark hair framing her face, “Please, that wannabe is barely a man.”

He hid a smile, muttering a “That’s all he is, though. A wannabe.” as he stared at the floor.

A wannabe friend.

A wannabe leader.

A wannabe hero.

Sure Damian was trying, but that didn’t mean he was succeeding.

He would never be as charming as Nightwing.

He would never be as good of a fighter as Red Hood.

He would never be as smart as Red Robin.

He was just Damian.  

The kid with the big attitude that everyone around him had to put up with.

Emiko leaned her back onto the couch, arms on the back of her head. “You guys wanna know what Roy told me,”

Wally found himself nodding, along with the others as she continued. “He said that even his own brothers don’t like him. They just put up with him to make their dad happy. Actually, probably even his own father doesn’t want him.”

“You’re probably right.” Wally laughed, not registering just how hurtful his words could be. “I mean, didn’t his mom just force Batman to take him. The guy probably didn’t have a choice.”

It wasn’t like what he said was wrong.

He remembers Dick complaining to him about it. How an assassin came out of nowhere with Damian and just gave him to Batman, who gave Dick the task of training the spoiled brat who just wouldn’t listen.

Those were Dick’s words, not his.

“That must be tough,” he heard Crush huff, “Being tossed around like trash.”

Wally found himself nodding in agreement, “He probably deserved it.”

Djinn cut in before his mouth said something he would regret, “That’s just plain mean.”

The look she gave him actually made him feel bad so he found himself muttering a quiet, “sorry” before sitting next to Emiko on the couch, who looked like she was holding in her laughter.

Roundhouse spoke up, drawing everyone’s attention towards the blue-skinned kid. “If you guys don’t like Damian so much, why don’t you just leave.”

Emiko only shook her head in amusement, “I’m still friends with you guys,” she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, “I’m not going to leave just because a kid is acting like- well, a kid.”

And even though Wally knew it was wrong. He couldn’t stop the dark thrill that curled up his stomach to know that even if Damian was the chosen leader for the team, he would never acquire the close bond that they all had with each other.

Crush rolled her eyes, “The kid’s a spoiled brat. And that’s it. No explanation needed.”

“I don’t get it. Why don’t you guys just try to get to know him more?” Djinn asked, “I know that he’s not as bad as you think he is.”

Wally held in the laugh threatening to come out of his throat- Damian Wayne? Not being as bad as he thinks he is.

If anything, Damian was probably worse.

Roundhouse bobbed his head in agreement, “Yeah, he’s usually pretty nice to me.”

Crush, Emiko, and Wally exchanged uncertain glances with each other.

Wally doesn’t believe it; Damian Wayne, being nice?

Are they even talking about the same Damian Wayne? The one trained by fucking assassins.

He knows for a fact that his brothers won’t believe it either. And out of everyone else in the superhero community, they’re probably the ones that know Damian best.

But then again, that was only because they had to spend the most time with him. Whether they liked it or not, Damian was a part of their family.

Wally found himself genuinely feeling bad for them.

Djinn tilted her head, “So will you do it? Actually, try to get to know him?”

Crush immediately shook her head, “Yeah. No.”

Djinn furrowed her eyebrows at the instant rejection, “But why not?”

“Damian is well- he’s just Damian.” Emiko intervened. “Even if we put in an effort, he might not put the same amount back.”

“Yeah,” Wally added on. “And unless he’s drunk and shit, we won’t get anything out of him.”

Crush raised an eyebrow at the two, “Why do you think we never invite him when we hang out?”

Roundhouse faltered, giving Djinn a hesitant look. “I just thought he didn’t want to join us.”

“That's probably true as well.” Wally pointed out. “If he did, he would tell us that he’d want to join, you know? He probably thinks that he’s too good for any of us.”

Djinn frowned in disagreement, but this time, she kept her mouth shut.

No one said anything for a while before he noticed Emiko turning to him, “About that comment you made, what if we did get the kid drunk?”

Roundhouse stared at the girl, eyes wide, “Is that even allowed? Or legal? Is that even legal? We’re superheroes. We can’t do illegal things.”

The archer shrugged, “I mean, yeah it can be legal. We just need a trusted adult’s consent. And lucky for us, two of his brothers are legal adults.” she met Wally’s eyes, “You know them better than any of us. Do you think they’ll allow it?”

Wally eagerly nodded, “They probably will. I’m ninety-nine percent sure that they don’t like him that much either.”

That was an understatement.

With all the complaining he’s heard from them, Wally had a feeling that they hate Damian even more than he did.

And he hated the kid a lot.

“Wouldn’t that be betraying his trust?” Djinn asked.

Crush leaned forward, her eyes full of mischief before it quickly disappeared as soon as she met the young girl’s eyes, “Let me tell you a secret, this is something Damian might call a training exercise.” she slowly explained to the two youngest heroes, “In a way, we’re technically gathering information on our target. And in this case, our target is Damian.”

Wally could tell that they were close to convincing them so he softly added on, “Plus, isn’t this technically just a faster way for us to get to know Damian? That’s what you wanted.”

The girl nodded, her lips pursed, and after a few minutes she spoke up, “Okay, let’s do it.” her eyes soon grew troubled. “But what if his brothers end up saying no?”

The speedster waved off the girl’s concerns. “Don’t worry,” he smiled, “This is an opportunity that they probably won’t be able to decline. Trust me.”

Wally’s was confident that they’ll agree to it.

Roundhouse had the biggest grin growing on his face, “We finally get to know more about Robin!” he excitedly said, “He’s always by himself. And he’s quiet. Really quiet”

His eagerness died down, sadly looking at the floor. “Does this mean he doesn’t like us?”

Crush snorted, “I don’t even know kid, I stopped trying to understand the brat a while ago.”

Wally and Emiko nodded in agreement.

The only times they willingly interacted with Damian was on the field. Because even though the kid sucked; he definitely knew what he was doing.

Emiko took her phone out, “I’m pretty sure that the bats have a game night in their little cave tonight.”

The team stared at her confused, “What does that even have to do with the discussion?”

Emiko rolled her eyes, “What I’m trying to say is that all of Damian’s eldest brothers are in their little Batcave.” she spoke slowly like she was talking to a bunch of babies. “Together. Playing a game. Probably without Damian.”

Roundhouse caught on, “So all we have to do is go to the cave and ask them if we can get Robin drunk.”

“How do you even know that?” Crush asked Emiko.

“Roy talks.” The archer shrugged, “A lot… especially if it’s about Jason.”

Crush jumped out of the couch in excitement, “That means we might be able to do this tonight!” She pointed at him, “Wally, go!”

“Right now?”

“Obviously, you dolt.”

“Why me?” he cried out, “You know how protective the bats are of their precious little cave.”

“Wally, go,” she repeated.

He didn’t budge. “Batman will kill me.”

“Batman doesn’t kill.”

“If someone just randomly enters his cave, he will.”

Crush looked like she wanted to punch him, “Wally, I fucking swear. Aren’t you and Nightwing like besties?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know.”

“Just text the dude in advance,” Roundhouse suggested. “That way no one gets killed, and we get to learn more about Robin.”

Wally sighed, leaping to his feet as he spoke, his tone filled with faux-excitement. “Great, I can’t wait to go-“

His voice trailed off, noticing Damian walking in.

It looked like the brat was about to go use the zeta-tubes but he stopped, his head tilting as his gaze landed on the team, “Can’t wait for what?”

Wally looked around, his eyes desperate for an answer.

Luckily, Djinn answered for him, a bright smile on her face as she addressed Damian’s question. “We’re going to the movies! We wanted to do a bit of team bonding.”

That response made Wally want to laugh.

Don’t get him wrong, it was a believable excuse. It’s just-

He can’t even think of a single time that they invited their “leader” to a team hangout.

He wondered if Damian noticed the fact that they went out of their way to exclude him from everything except for missions.

And If he did, did he care?

His eyes watched as the kid nodded in acceptance. As if they even needed his permission to hang out.

Damian turned his back on them, calling out a “have fun” as he disappeared in a flash of bright light.

Well, that answered his question. Damian looked like he could care less. He didn’t even give them another glance.

He just immediately turned his back on them, walking away as if he owned the place.

It made Wally’s blood boil. Did the brat even notice that no one wanted him around?

He couldn’t wait and see just what secrets the brat hid underneath that perfect, little mask of his.

And Wally couldn’t wait to tear that mask apart.

————————————————————————

Note:

guess who finally started writing the one fic that almost everyone was waiting for.

me!!!

To be honest, I was kinda confused on how I was going to write the events of “I’m fine” from the other’s POV, then I realized that I could just write it using multiple chapters, so that’s what I did.

I know that a lot of people were waiting for this version, so hopefully you guys end up liking this installment, and if you have any comments, suggestions, and feedback, make sure to comment on them.

Also, I feel like I need to mention that, yes- I know that some of the characters are “out of character” in a way. Though, Damian does receive a whole lot of shit from them in the comics so at the same time they kind of aren’t ooc, if that makes sense.

I genuinely just wanted to write a Damian Wayne whump fic that I can go back too and cry about later. So if you don’t like it, then just don’t read it. No need to waste your energy writing hate comments that I’ll probably only laugh at later.

[sleepysloth99]

A/N: Heyo everyone uhh basically my mental state got me fucked up so why don't we make headcanons for numerous Sweet Home characters. 2 parts. Part 1 is a simple them comforting you during an anxiety attack and part 2 is them reacting to you telling them that you're a burnout gifted kid (yes OP needs some fucking help😂).

Characters: Hyuk, Netflix Wook, Hyun, Jisu, Yuri

I suppose content warning? Anxiety is mentioned after all.

Part 1: Them comforting you during an anxiety attack.

Hyuk:

•Guy is clueless as fuck lol.

•He'd try to make things better but he actually kinda made it worse.

•He feels terrible since he feels so useless in this situation. He's not exactly great with people.

•Eventually he gathers himself and gives you a blanket and makes tea.

•Puts on your favorite anime or show in general.

•He apologizes for being so crappy with all this.

•You have a favorite stuffed toy? He'll get it for you.

•Lots of cuddles. If you want he can play a video game and you can watch him.

•He's trying his best :)

•This is only the first time though.

•Around the third to fourth time this happens he'll actually know what he's doing.

•Ask what's wrong and won't panic. He'd be a lot more calm and would definitely be less hesitant to hold you.

•Again just bear with him.

Netflix Wook

•Thought Hyuk was bad? Wook's even worse.

•He doesn't know what to say so he just pats your shoulder.

•Lots of headpats.

•Right after you calm down he searches up about anxiety attacks and what to do if someone is having one.

•He'll also search up what to say to a partner during an anxiety attack.

•The only reason he kept his mouth shut the first time was because he was scared he'd upset you more.

•Want him to cuddle you and hush you? He'll do just that.

•Want him to hold him because you find holding things more comforting then being held? He's already laying down.

•Whatever makes you calm down he will do just that.

•He also buys snacks for you.

•Overall one of those "Quiet Supporter" types. He doesn't really say anything because mind you he isn't exactly great with his words so using gifts and physical affection he will try to calm you down.

•One muscular teddy bear lmao.

Jisu

•Unlike Hyuk and Wook, Jisu is a lot better at handling emotions for the most part.

•She'll immediately ask what's wrong and hold you.

•She'll just listen, and give her input when she feels the time is appropriate.

•She'll order out food and watch a show with you.

•Hell for you? She'd illegally stream a movie lmao.

•Lots of soft blankets.

•If you want, she can sing for you or play the guitar.

•She keeps her composure despite secretly being freaked out since she's never dealt with someone having an anxiety attack.

•She has a bat so if you wanna go out and smash shit up she'll come with you.

•Wanna scream all your worries? She already has her bass set up.

•She'd paint your nails if you want.

•She'll let you lay in her lap (Imagine laying in Jisu's lap☺️)

•Gives headpats.

•Gives scalp massages.

•Just like Wook, provides snacks.

•Would go all the way and buy a fucking pet for you.

Yuri

•See what's so special about Yuri is that she's worked as a caregiver for years, albeit with elders.

•So believe me she's seen a LOT.

•What I'm trying to say is out of everyone here, she's the best when treating you during an anxiety attack.

•She asks what's wrong.

•She never yells by any means.

•She kinda whispers but not really.

•Very calming, uses lots of lavender and chamomile based products.

•Already making some tea (or some drink you like).

•She'll run a shower for you.

•She uses aromatherapy based products in said shower.

•She would run a bath for you but that wastes water and she doesn't want you to sit in your own filth.

•Uses aromatherapy lotion on you.

•She will do some skincare for you.

•Spoils you with cuddles and snacks.

•Tries to ask further questions like "How long have you felt like this? Is there any other problems?"

•She won't push you though.

•Sleeping on her lap with fluffy blankets and forehead kisses. (Bro imagine sleeping on the goddess's lap???😳😳😳)

•Surprisingly very sweet.

Hyun

•Bro not gonna lie he really wouldn't know what to do.

•He's broken as is so if he says anything that comes off as insensitive he doesn't mean it, he's trying his best.

•Another Quiet Supporter.

•Will give you a hug.

•Will let you sleep on him.

•He might start crying too. He feels so powerless in such a situation. Seeing his significant other panicking and not knowing what to do or say.

•He'll try and ask what's wrong but being in a similar position, he knows how annoying it can be when someone asks what's wrong.

•He's distant but close at the same time if that makes any sense.

•He'll read a book to you if you want.

•He'll try and whisper sweet nothings but again this is pretty foreign for him

•He'll get take-out for you and put on some anime.

•He'll even watch an anime he really hates as long as it makes you feel better.

•By the next day he'll pretend nothing happened but just expect a stuffed animal packaged up at your door. Who sent it? I dunno. (Not him that's for sure nope nope totally not him.)

Them reacting to you saying you're a burnout gifted kid.

Hyuk

•He kinda relates.

•He will always be there to let you know you're doing great.

•He will always be there to support.

•When he sees your homework scores lowering and grades crashing he'll be there to help you somehow.

•He actually does your homework while you sleep. By the time you wake up you have no clue because he made copies of it but he actually used your account to submit the work. Man the shit he does for you.

•One of the school staff actually almost caught him saying "You're not acting like your usual self. You never get such good score in math."

•Thankfully he looked at how you talk online especially to teachers and managed to kinda copy how you talk online.

•He still thinks you should talk to someone about this. You know someone professional.

•Again though he'll always be there for you.

Wook

•He wouldn't know what to tell you.

•"Yeah... that does suck."

•He'll support you and try to get you mental help for it but... yeah.

•He can't really relate to the whole burnout thing so he's very distant here.

•Course that doesn't mean he won't try and help you.

•Again he wants you to get mental help especially since he isn't the best with words.

•Really he's clueless. He'll try his best but honestly even Wook thinks he's the worst person for this.

Jisu

•She also can't really relate since she was always just the band kid scraping by back in school.

•She's still very empathetic.

•She'll try her absolute best to help you with the long term damage that is gifted child burnout.

•She will make sure you don't go abusing substances. So no you cannot have any of her cigarettes. She will literally throw them all away.

•She'll write songs to motivate you.

•She'll make sure you never give up on something just because you didn't get it right the first time.

•Seriously this woman loves you, she'll do anything to motivate you and make you happy.

Yuri

•Now Yuri can semi-relate. Being trained to take care of the elderly did do a number on her so she knows burnout when she sees it.

•She will literally smack your hand if you try and overwork yourself.

•"Don't. I'll do it."

•She really wants to do everything for you because she hates seeing you all burnt out.

•She's stubborn as hell so it's gonna take a lot to convince her to let you actually do your work.

•Seriously somebody come get her she's starting to burnout herself.

Hyun

•Lmao Hyun can relate 100%

•He IS a burnout gifted kid.

•So yeah he is actually the worst person to go to for this issue since he's having the same problem.

•However! That doesn't make him all bad.

•You can be burnout gifted kids together!

•Whether it's cuddling while comparing your current selves to your past selves or playing video games together to feel a false sense of achievement, you guys are doing this together.

•Is it the best and most healthy way to deal with this problem? No!

•Is it still a pretty great thing to have your boyfriend by your side and sharing all of your pain every step of the way? Hell yeah!

•In all seriousness, you two try to support each other.

•Lean on each other when the burnout gets unbearable. He'll offer a shoulder to cry on and you'll reciprocate (at least I hope you do.)

•You both try to get mental help or at the very least join one of those support servers on Discord.

•You guys often lie in bed late at night talking about how you both feel like failures. To which Hyun says "We can be failures together." In an attempt to make you feel better.

•It actually... kinda helped.

°

°

°

And with that being said, today's headcanons are done! If you want you can drop some requests, although I don't do any NSFW requests. But yeah that's it. I'm pooped, bye!💝

[dianapana]

SH Day 12- ANBU Black Ops

@sasuhinamonth

たえる Part 2 (taeru=to endure)

Part 1

Rated M, Ninja Universe that underwent some changes (you’ll see that I use major events in the canon world but there is a lot of history that’s altered), OOC (major OOC for Hinata especially)

Warning: self-harm, mental health, sexual harassment, trauma

Hello, dears, I play quite a bit with chronology in this chapter, I hope it's all easy to understand. I made moth things be during summer so around the time of the girl SH month which is why in all the cases you'll see Sasuke is 1year older than Hina, since his bday is in July and hers in December. I hope you enjoy, ~Love Dia

Sasuke, age 23

I think it’s fair for me to say that I’ve been through a lot, not many things shake me anymore and all the things that have made me worried in the past years have had something in common, they were all somehow related to Hinata. I remember when I woke up after the war, I was chained to a hospital bed, placed under a jutsu that blocked my chakra, I was missing a limb and I was on the verge of insanity once more. The only thing that calmed me down was her image. Even without my chakra I searched for hers. She too was in the hospital; I found her signature light purple chakra but it was so faint and small I almost missed it. Seeing her like that made me crazy with worry, once everyone left my room, I broke all the chains and dragged myself to her room despite the pain. I hadn’t thought of her as fragile since our reunion when she was 15. I could barely stand to see her that way, and even if I wanted to stay and watch over her for longer, I could feel Naruto’s chakra getting closer, which meant I had to leave. For the following weeks I could only go and see her late at night, for there was always someone in her room, Naruto, her father, her sister, some sort of nurse or medic. I recovered under a month, yet I stayed until she woke up.

I was the only one in the room when her eyes opened, she looked confused and for a moment I was sure she had amnesia and would not remember me, us. But for the briefest moment her eyes rested upon my figure and recognition was there, relief was there, gratitude, affection and many other nuances that I can never seem to read or fully comprehend reflected in her eyes. I took her hand and kissed the back of it, allowing myself a small selfish gesture before leaving the room to inform the medics she woke up. Sakura gave me a strange, questioning look when I told her Hinata had woken up, but I didn’t care about subtlety at that second, I just wanted them to check her for any issues, I wanted her to be physically fine.

She didn’t have many memories of the war when she was first questioned, but they came back in waves and waves. I could tell that the questions overwhelmed her, much like the people that littered around, there were over 10 visitors in her tiny hospital room, from her father to Naruto, Kiba and many others. I just watched the whole situation from outside her window. I noticed her looking around, searching for someone that wasn’t there. No, it wasn’t me, she knew I wouldn’t be there when other people were, I knew exactly who she was searching for, that’s why I wanted to be close by. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, I knew things would take a turn for the worse soon enough. I saw it, the exact moment the fog raised off of her memories, the moment in which reality hit her, the moment in which the remaining light in her eyes died.

She asked for Neji, Naruto cringed, her father was the one to inform her of his passing. She asked when the funeral was going to be and silence fell onto the room. Sakura tried to slowly explain that the war ended two months ago and all the dead were already long buried. Hinata cried, she cried for her fallen cousin, she cried for missing his funeral, she cried for herself. They all gave her hugs and condolences, they reassured her that none of that was her fault. They all expected her to mourn and soon enough bounce back to the façade she always kept around the people in the village. They were unaware of the emotional depth her sadness could reach. I knew their expectations would never be met, I could tell that the headspace she was in was similar to the night I found her on the forest floor, she had the same look in her eyes as when she constantly begged me to let her die. Knowing all of that, I expected her to make certain choices, yet, despite knowing what was to come, I was unable to help, there wasn’t a single moment in which she was alone for a week to come. And when it all happened, I panicked at the notion of her death and responded wrongly to her actions.

I wasn’t watching her when she attempted to kill herself, I was with Tsunade who kept insisting that I accept their fake arm. I was in the midst of refusing once more, when I could feel a commotion in her room, I left without a word and ran there. The image that was in front of me wasn’t surprising but it was just as heart-breaking. Hinata’s bed was covered in blood, her left wrist was being treated by Sakura but you could still see the long and slim-cut along her wrist, Naruto was holding her other arm trying to put pressure on her wrist to stop the bleeding. It scared me, the amount of blood on herself and the bed, her light-headedness and indifference indicated that she had been bleeding for a long time. She waited for a moment in which I wasn’t there either, she wanted to escape me too. Had Naruto and Sakura been late they might have found her corpse instead. I left the room to calm myself down, I couldn’t cause a commotion. I tried my best to come up with kind and comforting words to tell her later when I would return to her room, but when I did, the image that greeted me, her arms strapped to the bed, made me lose my composure. I screamed at her, I can’t even recall what I said but I know it was very inappropriate, she laughed, she cried. Trying to comfort her with only one arm was difficult, that was the very first moment when I even considered accepting Tsunade’s offer, but in the end I didn’t. I spent every night that followed with her, after the initial shock I was able to recall the words I meant to give her, I knew they weren’t going to miraculously fix everything but I felt that she needed them nonetheless.

She apologized for considering that path and acting on her thoughts. I undid her chains and pulled her to my lap as she talked. “The moment my eyes moved past Naruto’s shoulders and I saw you in the door frame I regretted my choice, I wished I could undo it if only to never have to see that look on your face” I placed my face into her hair and just breathed her in. “I think I understand a little better now…what you felt when Itachi died, when you found out the truth. Our situations aren’t the same but I remember how…” she stopped, searching for the perfect word.

“Crazy? Unhinged? Mad?” I provided, but she frowned and shook her head.

“No, no, none of those…how anguished, sorrowful, wretched you were at the time. You come to me in a very agitated state, I was scared and concerned but couldn’t grasp that feeling. Now I do” If I’m honest I don’t remember how felt at the time, I don’t remember many things about that period of my life, all I know is that I wanted to give up, I thought I had made only wrong choices in my life, but I saw her and I remembered that even I could save someone.

After a few more nights she assured me that she was now mentally stable, her sadness was still very much present, but she had not had any self-harming thoughts. The decision to leave the village was very difficult at the time, but Hinata assured me that she enjoyed our routine and wished to continue it. I left but our correspondence was much more frequent than before the war, I would write her every other day and she’d reply as soon as my messages reached her. It took a bit over 3 months for her to resume her work as an ANBU, and a bit over 8 months in total to convince Kakashi to promote her to ANBU Black Ops. Her missions became more difficult and longer, she even had a mission in Amegakure that lasted half a year. When she first sent me the message informing me of the location of her mission it reminded me of our first encounter after I left the village. Our encounter that summer isn’t a memory I think of fondly, I was cruel, I was insane, I abused my knowledge of her trauma. Whenever I remember my actions, I want to go back and rewind the time, I want to apologize to 15-year-old Hinata, she was meek and fragile and I broke a part of her. She was doing her best to survive and to keep going and I was a huge obstacle in her recovery. When my feelings for her started changing I was always self-conscious whether they were genuine or not, wasn’t I using her? Wasn’t I just feeling guilty?

Hinata, age 15

I am nervous as I pack my bag for this mission, it is my first solo mission ever. 6 months after I became a Jonin and Tsunade finally trusts me enough to allow me to go alone in a mission. The destination is Amegakure and the mission is supposed to last for about to 3 weeks. The difficulty level of the mission is only B which I’d be pretty annoyed at, but the distance factor and the solo factor make up for it so, I am equally nervous and excited. When I told Neji about the mission he was concerned but didn’t show it much for my sake. Instead, he congratulated me and we had a small picnic in the outer skirt of the Hyuuga estate as celebration.

Now I am looking through my dresser for appropriate clothes for the rain to pack, I have to look for another set of kunais just in case and prepare myself a couple of bentos to have on hand. Slowly, the closer the night before my departure gets the less anxious I am, excitement seems to be the winning sentiment.

The morning of, I wake up at 4:30 a.m. and am unable to sleep longer. By the time I am fully dressed and ready to go it’s only 5:00 a.m. and the sun is barely raising, but I decide that it is light enough outside for me to leave. As always whenever I pass through the forest there’s a chill going through my veins and my enthusiasm is a bit dampened, I actively try and avoid that specific place even if it means it will add to the journey time. On the schedule, Tsunade gave me I’m meant to spend 8 days on the road to the village, approximately 4 or 5 days into the village and 8 more days back.

The mission itself isn’t supposed to be that difficult all I need to do is meet with different people in the village give them the scrolls Tsunade gave me and wait for their replies. All in all, there should be no fighting, I’m mostly a messenger but the large amount of people that need contacting made it impossible for a summon raven to deliver the scrolls. My adrenaline rush of being on my own, experiencing what freedom feels like made me speed up during the journey, I took less stops and didn’t even spend the night in one of the Inns I was supposed to. Thus, not only did I depart earlier than planned but I arrived into the village almost a day and a half ahead of the schedule. Since it’s still barely past noon I decide to start the mission a day early and I am able to cover a fifth of the task on the first day.

People usually when talking about Amegakure call it gloomy and depressing, but I enjoy walking around in the rain, the temperature isn’t too high despite it being the middle of a heatwave everywhere else, the smell and sounds of rain also add to its charm. The Inn I’m supposed to stay at for the duration of my mission is on the outside of the village, it is away from the noise of the centre, but not far out enough to say it isn’t part of the village at all. Walking into my room I sit down and finally grasp that I am days away from Konoha, I am alone. The realization makes me emotional; I hadn’t realized how much I needed to be on my own, how good it would feel to put distance between me and everything that Konoha entailed.

Sitting alone in the dark, only with the occasional lightning brightening up my room, I make a decision, I promise myself to only ever come on solo missions. I’ve endured years of discomfort so I deserved to feel this way, if only during missions. I take a shower and go to bed, I’m not as physically tired as I thought I would be after the journey and that worries me. I don’t want the nightmare to come and ruin my mood, but I close my eyes nonetheless.

It feels like barely a second passed when I open my eyes and see the cool light coming from outside. The sun is hidden behind the clouds of rain, but its light still pushes through to an extent. I had no dreams, no nightmares. I rested well and I feel better than I did in many years. I walk barefoot onto the cold wooden floor and I open the window, not caring that the rain is getting both me and the floor wet. I close my eyes and feel immensely liberated, the heavy chains that dragged me down at all times disappeared. Nobody here knows me and I don’t know them, I am but a face in the crowd, this anonymity offers me the independence I never knew before.

I complete the mission in under 3 days. I feel faster, stronger, happier here. It feels like I can do anything and everything. I have about 3 days I can waste in the village, under normal circumstances I’d return immediately to Konoha to get another mission and the cycle would repeat. But I decide to stay here for a while longer, I want to enjoy this feeling to the best of my ability. The day right after completing the mission I simply stay inside and sleep almost the whole day. I’m recharging my batteries which have been on low for 3 years now. I forgot what being well-rested felt like.

The following day I decide to wander around some more. The mission had me walk all over the village’s centre so, I decide to check out its outskirt more. I go and eat delicious food at a small booth owned by an older couple. Due to its relatively small scale Amegakure’s buildings are much much higher than those from Konoha so I climb on top of one that I deem to be among the highest and sit there, in the rain just watching the busy streets, looking over all the sky-high buildings and enjoying the feeling of being unrestrained by people’s gazes and expectations. For the smallest second, I feel someone’s gaze on me but I discard it as being the locals looking at the strange outsider that’s standing in the rain. I refuse to let my mood be dampened, not when I am just as high as this building is.

I return to the Inn and decide to take a shower, tomorrow is going to be my last day here and I feel like time is moving far too fast. I’m rinsing my hair when I get the same feeling as before, like someone is watching me. Before I can dismiss it again, I hear steps behind me, my mind goes blank. I’m suddenly turned around by a powerful hand, before closing my eyes I see a pair of black dead, unfeeling, cold, cruel, scary, scary, scary, scary eyes. I close my eyes and clench my jaw; I can feel tears trailing down my face. I’m hyperventilating, I can’t move, I’m weak, I’m small. I whimper when I feel his hand touching the scar right above my pelvis. The touch transports me back to when I’m 12 and on the ground, my legs no longer support me, the only reason why I’m still standing is because the man is holding my arm in an iron grip. The moment passes and his hand is gone allowing me to fall to my knees and then onto my butt. I have no idea how long I stay there in a trance. When I’m finally able to regain strength in my limbs to feel and make small movements I notice the shower water is freezing cold despite it being set to warm. I turn it off and walk into the room, there’s no trace of the man anymore, he didn’t do anything beyond touching my arm and my scar. Maybe he was simply created by my brain, yea no one was here, how could they be, why would they be.

I can feel myself slipping into hysteria as laughter bubbles up into my throat. I look around the room again searching for proof again and I sigh in relief when I find none. I’m finally calm enough to get dressed but I make the mistake of looking in the mirror. There’s a handprint on my arm where he gripped me. The print is red and turning a weird purple colour in places and yellow in others. He was here. He was real. I take small breaths in order to calm myself, I am fine, I am here, I can’t even picture the face of the man that was here, I try to force myself to forget the handprint, it was just a dream, another nightmare.

I pack my things and leave that very night despite being tired physically, mentally and emotionally. I don’t want to return to Konoha, and I can’t stay here, I don’t know where to go. The freedom I felt before gave me an amazing sense of accomplishment, but now it is a source of unease. I feel lost and like I do not belong anywhere. I feel insignificant. I feel lonely. I close my eyes and just sit on the floor outside of the village, waiting for something or someone to come get me. But nothing happens and the weather is turning cold despite the summer so I pick myself up and start walking wherever the road will take me.

I don’t remember the journey back home, I can’t even tell in how many days I completed it, I didn’t stop at all, I just ran. I ran from the man, the past, I ran from my weak self. I thought myself to be strong now that I am a Jonin, but I froze and was unable to do anything all the same. I need to be more than I am, I need to be stronger, braver, untouchable, more perceptive.

I hate myself for hesitating to enter the Konoha, I hate myself for hesitating to take on a new mission when Tsunade offers it. I hate myself when I have to walk through the halls of the Hyuuga compound, I hate myself when I hide from Neji. I hate myself when I walk into my room and burst into tears. I hate myself for getting my hope that high in Ame only to have them all crash and burn. I hate that I feel more broken today than I did 3 weeks ago.

Sasuke, age 16

I’ve been in a weird mood since a week ago when I saw Hyuuga in the Village Hidden in Rain. I hadn’t heard or seen anything related to Konoha since I left during the Chunnin exam. She was my first contact with it. Hinata Hyuuga, I remember her name clearly, she holds a special meaning to me, she is a life I saved. I saved her back before I was caught up in any business with Orochimaru, when I still thought following Kakashi was the right path to take, back when I was stupid and naïve. I hadn’t thought of her since that moment, but when my eyes fell onto her, I felt proud that she survived, but I also felt the need, the urge to utterly crush her beneath my feet. Her life belongs to me; I saved her so, I have every right to destroy her.

I could tell she was uncomfortable with me there, I felt her flinch as I traced the scar above her pelvis, I heard her whimper when I turned around, and I saw from the corner of my eye, as her legs have in and she fell to the floor. She looked small and pathetic and I felt strong in comparison.

However, now, days later I feel…guilt. I feel as if I used something against her that I shouldn’t have. At the time her image was blurry and not something I paid attention to, but I can clearly see it now whenever I close my eyes. He white skin had almost no imperfections besides the three scars, her eyes were shut tight, her face was red and wet, at the time I gloated at the thought that the water droplets were tears, now I’m hoping they were from the shower. Her long dark hair was wet and clinging to her body. She did her best to hide from me with her hands, with her position slightly bent. She was helpless, she didn’t even try to stop me, she didn’t scream or fight back, she froze in place and allowed me to do whatever I wanted. At the time that too made me feel powerful, I deluded myself into thinking that my presence as Sasuke Uchiha made her cower in fear. Now that I am analysing things once more, I realize it was her trauma that rendered her powerless, it was my presence that caused her fear, but she wasn’t scared of me, Sasuke, but rather of me, a male; she didn’t see me as an individual but as the image of the man that hurt her in the past.

Realizing that in her mind I was equal to that disgusting piece of trash makes me livid. I clench my jaw, pick up the first thing I see, a jar of whatever substance from one of Orochimaru’s labs and I throw it to the wall. The green liquid escapes its container and slowly eats away at the wall and ground, the sizzling noise and putrid smell don’t even bother me. I’m angry at her, I want to find her and scream in her face that I’m not that man. I wanna shake her until she understands. I am mad at her, at myself. Kabuto comes in and curses, he drags me out and talks under his breath, his presence adds to my anger.

“What do you want?” I ask him, I’m looking down at him. I grew taller these past few weeks, taller than him. I want him to pick a fight, I want a reason to smash his face in. The image of his bloody face as he lays unconscious on the ground would bring me the satisfaction I need. He looks mockingly at me, that’s enough to start a fight.

Less than 20 minutes later the fight is over, he’s not unconscious, he’s still standing, more precisely, walking away. But he is bleeding and so am I. The fight didn’t help. I still feel angry, but my anger is slowly being overshadowed by guilt.

The sudden urge to find her and apologize overcomes me, but I dismiss it. She’s long gone…I checked. The two of us won’t meet anytime soon and even if we do, I’ll never apologize, not to her, not to someone that…weak…

Hinata age 22

After sleeping in until 11 after all, I wake up to Sasuke’s face next to mine, I feel at ease, I feel happy. I cup his face and place a kiss over his closed eyelids. I feel his change in breath when he wakes up but his eyes remain closed. His arm comes around my waist and pulls me closer to him, slowly he opens his eyes and offers me a lazy smirk. For a while I forget that we’re in Konoha, I forget everything about people trying to control me. All my worries just disappear with his presence.

“What are you thinking about?” he asks and brushes my bangs out of my eyes. ‘You’ I want to say, but I decide to be selfish instead. I sit up and he does too, I move towards him and place myself on his lap, we are chest to chest, face-to-face. “I am unsure how long they’ll make me stay here. This... sensei job…they could stretch it for months, who knows.” I hate that that’s true, I hate that they’re trying to cage me into the village. “it’s difficult being here for an indefinite period of time, especially since I don’t have out missions to look forward to. So…” I stop talking, rethinking what I’m about to ask, wondering if it’s worth it, but he looks at me with no judgement, he’s waiting patiently. “So…I was thinking. Maybe being here in Konoha would be better…if you were here as well” Part of me initially regrets the words and wants to take them back.

“You want me to stay here until you can go back to your normal missions” he didn’t formulate it as a question so I didn’t reply, mostly because I didn’t trust myself not to say no, to act like it was a joke, so I stay silent. “Ok, I will” his hand is on my wrist and it’s slowly moving up under my tank top. “You should already know that anything you ask of me, I’ll do Hinata” I do know that, but this was something that I had been afraid to ask for a while. Would staying in Konoha be better with him here? It must be.

We talk some more about his stay in Konoha and then proceed to eat a late breakfast. “I passed by the cottage outside of Amegakure on my way to Konoha” that cottage will forever represent my safe space, all my memories in it are out-of-this-world happy. The cottage itself is pretty much outside every territory of every village, it belongs to nobody, yet that’s the place I feel I belong in. I stayed there for my thirst or fourth mission as an ANBU, as usual Sasuke met up with me and we live together there for months. Sasuke and I worked together for most of my missions, we completed them faster than it was estimated they would take and we spent the remaining of the time just being together outside of all the rules of everyone. That was the place in which after much deliberation and inner-fights I decided to put my trust in him. By then we had already expressed our feelings verbally and with actions such as kisses and hugs, but I wanted to move past that because I craved that closeness with someone, I wanted a stronger bond between us, but also out of spite, I wanted to prove that I was able to enjoy sex. I wanted to prove that what had happened no longer affected me. Out first time was a bit awkward, we were both virgins, Sasuke was overly conscious of making me feel comfortable and I just wanted it to be done with so our desired speed didn’t match, but it happened and it was fine. The second and third time around it was much better and now we reached a point in which intimacy with him doesn’t scare me in the least, I love it and it makes me feel amazing. I am aware that I’m not fully over the incident, the close proximity of strange men that I don’t know still bothers me at times, however, I am much stronger and able to protect myself, I am just...wary.

I end my train of thoughts by going back to the memory of our first time and it makes me giggle a little. Sasuke asks me with his eyes what I’m laughing about and my reply is only a smirk, I see the wheels spinning in his brain and the connections being made. I love that after so many years we’re able to just understand each other in this manner. He gets up from his chair and walks around the table to place his hand on the nape of my neck. “I can show you how much I’ve improved since than” he whispers and bends down to kiss me. I smile against his lips and loop my arms around his neck allowing him to pick me up.

I must have fallen asleep again because I am woken up this time by Naruto loudly knocking on my door. He left me alone yesterday because Sasuke was around but I guess even his long-lost best friend can’t keep his attention off of me for more than 24 hours. I look next to me and my heart hurts because Sasuke isn’t there. I tell myself it’s because he felt Naruto so he left, but I still don’t like that.

Naruto keep knocking on the door and I’m sure he’s about to tear it down if I don’t open it soon so I walk to it in my pjs with my hair a mess. When I open the door, he stops in his tracks. “Oh…” his eyes linger onto the scar on my shoulder, he has an obsession with it I’ve noticed. Does he believe that’s my biggest scar…if only he knew. “I didn’t know you were sleeping, I’m sorry”

“After yesterday’s mission the kids have the day off so I wanted to rest” I don’t assure him that it is ok even though I know that’s the polite thing to do. I am bitter and annoyed that Sasuke isn’t there. For a split moment when I woke up, I thought I had imagined his presence.

“I just wanted to bring these to you.” He says and presents me with a pile of papers. “I know you were given them before when Kakashi assigned you as their sensei” hah, like it was Kakashi’s idea. Hokage-sama wouldn’t have pushed me into being a sensei from a Black Ops and we all know that. I know Naruto pulled all of the strings to get me here, however, Kakashi-san is also to blame for allowing all of this to happen “but I think you should really read them well, you said you have a free day today. I can stay here with you and read them together”

I look at him and his easy-going smile. On normal days I’d try and be nice, but all I want to do today is spend my time in peace. “I heard Uchiha-san is back. Are you sure you want to spend the day with me reading about some kids rather than catch up with him?” I feel sorry for guiding Naruto towards Sasuke, but I know Sasuke and if he’s one thing, he’s good at not being found.

Upon hearing Sasuke’s name Naruto’s smile brightened to the extent that it actually hurt my eyes. “I already saw and talked to him today” He left before Naruto came here, was it before we ate? After? When did they meet? “We talked and agreed to go on a mission together this week” He’s leaving after I asked him to stay “We went to Kakashi and already got all the info, so I’ll spend a lot of time together with him and find out all about what he’s been up to in these years and I ---” Naruto keeps talking but I feel suffocated.

[millepara]

waccha primagi ep 1!!!!!!!! spoilers (this is so long it took me multiple days to finish writing. what else do you expect from me though)

god I really should have waited for the official youtube upload before watching this for the first time... as it was I kept mentally editing/getting irritated by/making alternate translations for the subs and though I did enjoy it despite that it wasn’t nearly as much as I would have otherwise... but now I’m going to fix that!!

zamasu.... it’s not pretty series without gobi.

is Myamu a student or just there bc her grandfather works there? she could just be skipping the assembly to pull off her heist, but she does seem younger than the other students and is obviously not in the same uniform. anyway before I get any further

I!! LOVE!! MYAMU!!

wtf she’s sooooooo cute and a huge pain in the ass... one of my favorite types of character...... I feel like there will be a lot of Myamu hate out there bc I know how fandom can get abt characters that show characteristics that could be interpreted as neurodiversity, or children acting like children, or basically anything that could be applied to Myam. but I think she’s neat :) I will defend her to the death

when I first saw Jennifer’s design, I thought her coord was p plain compared to the other idols? I guess I still think that but I’m more ok with it. I love her lady lovely locks hair a lot. can’t wait to hear more of her song!!

I like Matsuri’s voice a lot too! here, and in the other songs.

(unrelated) I just remembered another reason I like Myamu which is that it’s easy to tell from her twitter presence/appearance in the Primagi special/ciaofes that Myamu’s VA Koike Riko loves Myamu as well. I’m a total sucker for that (also really enjoy how this messy sentence I wrote makes it seem like I’m talking abt Myamu’s twitter presence at first)

LMAO Amane’s fucking pose near the end of the op

I like the pink/brown Valentine’s combo of Matsuri’s uniform but the silhouette looks really frumpy :( in the animation at least, it’d be cute irl...

so... everyone in this world knows what primagi is, but not that it’s actually magic, as stated in the primagi tagline. still, it’s weird that Matsuri doesn’t follow what Myamu’s saying at all? I think it’s implied that once you become a primagi star, you’re in the know about magic and whatever (Myamu: “Once you try Primagi, you’ll understand!”), so it’s hard to believe that no one like... leaked it or whatever. like if irl idols were secretly using magic to perform there would at least be rumors about it

the way that magic users have to collect waccha in the human world via primagi performances using normal humans really reminds me of sugar sugar rune’s heart crystal system! (not in a bad way, nothing is new etc etc, it’s just very magical girl of them in a series that I’m not used to thinking of as a magical girl series)

that ‘snow, moon, cosmo, flower, star’ on the cover of the Jennifer magazine is clearly referring to 5 of 6 symbols on the primagi magic circle, right? it’s a relief to get names for something in the Lore this early haha. I wonder if that also corresponds to the different colors of the coord mates (like how the one Matsuri gets her card from in this ep is pink)

I’d assumed that primagi was a place like pripara or an activity like prichan, but the fact that primagi has an entry deadline means that it’s a competition? that’s more in line with the pretty rhythms. also in that it means that not everyone is able to participate in it anytime like in pripara/chan... kind of an odd step back (?) if so imo

clearly there’s some sort of romance subplot (more PR similarity!) on the horizon with this childhood friend here, but tbh I don’t mind because Matsuri looks and acts older (/more like a real teen) than everyone in prichan/para. don’t get me wrong, I’m not looking forward to it either, it just seems less forced than say the aikatsu ones. I know it’s just the first ep, but primagi feels more like a traditional shoujo story to me than the past two series. except for every time Myamu is there lmao

the first time I watched this ep I didn’t have much of a grasp of Matsuri’s character and her sudden embrace of primagi felt so melodramatic, but I’m more ok w it the second time, and it feels like that is what’s characterizing her. is it bc I’m in the shoujo mindset after watching it once already? am I just in a better mood?

huah! hweh! (tantochan noises)

the Magical Gate seems like it’s just a magical fitting room to go to change your appearance and coord, as opposed to a portal to another place. more pretty rhythm similarity! and unlike pripara it seems not to age them up at all based on what I’ve seen in the anime so far... they just think 13-15 year olds look like that huh :I also how do they hide the secret of primagi being actually magic when their hair color and stuff changes...

they’re presenting this Omega corp meeting like it’s something shady but they don’t actually say anything suspicious... also Jennifer's Oh No makes no sense here. love it when they insert pidgin English for foreign characters in a way that makes it obvious no one near the writer’s room speaks a word of English

I was actually really surprised by the declaration that Myamu is rumored to be a powerful magic user. I thought she was going to be like a screw-up who has to work extra hard as is the usual protag trope, so I found that pretty interesting!

Matsuri’s friends who were all excited abt getting her to enter are, now that she has entered, all like wow I hope she’s ok :/ .... make up your minds lmao

at no point is it explained why everyone is in Lovely Melody tshirts

big kinpri vibes from this magic guy. no one in particular that he reminds me of, just the weird pervert expression and ominous aura. also def the wolf in human form, right? but it seems like he’s courting Childhood Friend as his chuppi partner, right? but the way he was talking to Myam earlier implied he already had a partner, right???

is this fairy tone thing with cat ears what Myamu turned into, or is she inside of it??

I really like Matsuri’s song! it feels quite modern for priseries, but not in the kpop way that aikatsu did for a while in friends. I think the dance is pretty stupid and basic, but... that actually does make sense for a girl who’s just starting out as an idol, so I also begrudgingly respect what might be an attempt at realism... but I’ve literally never cared about realism in kids idol shows before, and would actually prefer LESS realism, so I’d rather see a dance that I like better imo haha (also update as of my billionth or so repeat of Ma(g/j)i Waccha Parade: I still don’t like the dance, but it has grown on me some for sure)

it would be really cute if all of the solo songs had the idols’ magic user partners being their hype man in the bg like Myamu is here.

pretty series always has the best cg and it’s true here too except for the way her hands move. or don’t move, rather

this primagi illusion is so cute!! so many rainbows!!! I’m a fan 🌈🌈🌈🌈🌈

I’m still unclear where this coord mate thing is Myamu or not. like I was 100% entirely sure it wasn’t and then Myamu spoke... from inside it?? more Lore to learn about later I guess

so... everyone’s coord book holds every coord ever inside it?? seems OP. wish the irl one did that

...except for Matsuri’s?? it seems to only have the one card she just got in it. maybe it’s every coord after you get the book?

and that’s the ep! wow, it really was better the second time.

it’s just the first ep so I don’t wanna get into thoughts abt the magical girl-ness of it or anything deep or w/e but I will say... I like it! I’m really excited for the next one!! and I didn’t feel this way about prichan ever except for a little while in the second season. I know this is 90% bc I still dislike the premise of prichan and the premise of primagi is what would happen if the creators were like ‘how can we create a pretty series show SPECIFICALLY for Biscuit only’.... but that’s fine with me!! more shows like that, please, haha

for now I’m excited to see Matsuri interact w other non-main characters, which is good bc it seems the next ep’s about meeting Hina. I wonder if her getting introduced first means she’ll be Matsuri’s bff? (aside from Myam, I guess) she’s not at all the typical best friend archetype, so that would be pretty neat....

[kitkatopinions]

Is it bad that i want ironwood to be alive in the show and travel with the ace ops and have a redemption? I know most of his fans are happy that he is dead so they cant ruin him anymore but still, his ending is so wrong to me like they redeemed cordo, emerald, FUCKING HAZEL, but not james? I was pulled back into rwby because of james and the atlas arc. v6 last episodes pissed me off so much i didnt even watched the finale to this day but then i saw scenes of james and winter and the ace ops in v7... and now i just want him to swim up from the ruins and be the amazing character he was before v8. His death is so fucking sad to me even with how much they ruined the character... he deserved a redemption arc the most (and better writers, sorry the ask got so long but james ironwood gives me so much feels)

You know, I am right there with you, anon. Here's the thing about James. We didn't see an on screen death and the writers kept his semblance completely unmentioned in volumes seven and eight, but made it public. Yes, Miles Luna said 'rest in pieces' (the total douche) when talking about him in a cameo, but tbh, Miles Luna is sloppy and unprofessional, he could straight up say whatever to try and make the next 'twist' in RWBY surprising.

In fact SPOILER ALERT. I don't remember who, but after Avengers Infinity War when Loki died, people in the project 'confirmed' that Loki was good and truly dead this time, and of course no one believed them and of course no one was surprised to see some version of Loki escape alive in End Game. They had a better ability to twist a not-quite lie out there, due to multiple universes and time travel or whatever (idk the details, I stopped paying attention after I watched and hated Thor Ragnarok.) But still, it stands that if you want to make a character death believable in today's day and age when 'character death' is taken back so regularly and sometimes multiple times per character, writers should A. show the death/show a body (which they didn't do for Ironwood or Watts,) and B. Not leave any character threads hanging.

With Ironwood, they didn't delve into enough emotional responses to things (like Oscar/Oz getting shot off a cliff, or Qrow ever confronting him,) which leaves his story feeling like it lacks a solution and like there's still a lot to be resolved there already. But confirming his semblance outside of the show proper, which seems to act as a form of at least partial mind control, is obviously one giant thread too. Of course, this is MKEK, so the likelihood that they were foolish enough to give Ironwood a semblance that forced his actions at least in part and then not address it, kill him off, and expect everyone to just be happy with that on top of the lack of emotional depth they bothered to give other characters in regards to his 'fall' is high. However, that doesn't make James feel dead, he still doesn't feel like a dead character to me, yet, even if I know a lot of the reasons for that feeling stem from bad writing.

But on top of his semblance being a very big thread that was left untouched, his semblance also would be a very easy out if the writers did want to bring him back or if they wanted to bring him back and redeem him. His semblance could help him survive Atlas and Mantle falling, and it could easily be explained as having pushed him into his acts of villainy. It would still feel like a big ol' retcon (especially with how hard they tried to convince everyone he's pure evil,) but for once, I would like a retcon that actually goes my way in this show. XD

On top of that, you're absolutely right that in the show where Hazel can get 'death equals redemptioned' and tell life lessons to Oscar, Ironwood could be able to be redeemed even without the semblance. In the show where Hazel can beat a child while victim blaming the already-a-victim-of-abuse guy in the kid's head for *checks notes* training young women to be able to fight the soulless monsters who will devour anyone (four to six year old child or not,) and then get redeemed within 24 hours of that... yeah, Ironwood could be able to be redeemed. Emerald can murder Penny, try to kill everyone else at Haven, try to murder Penny again in Atlas, and then join the friend group enough that everyone good naturedly ribs her, including Penny who giggles over Emerald saying 'switched sides' despite the fact that Emerald never once apologized for literally murdering her in cold blood. So yeah, I don't think it'd be off brand of the show to have the 'does bad for good reasons' guy get redeemed even if they did make him express regret that he hadn't tortured children. Clearly, the standard isn't 'if they apologize they're worthy of redemption,' and the standard isn't 'if they only always had good intentions they're worthy of redemption' or 'only kids who are villains can get redeemed,' or even 'so long as they haven't tortured or tried to kill children they're worthy of redemption.'

However, here's where things get a little tricky. Because the standard in RWBY seems to have much more to do with what was done personally against the main group that made them mad or sad, rather than actual moral standings, harm done to the world, intentions, etc. I've talked about that idea in another post, that the show (whether intentionally or otherwise) is treating going against Ruby and her team as worse than actual criminal acts. Emerald's actions are easily brushed aside without her ever admitting she was wrong or trying to apologize, but Ozpin's act of not explicitly trusting Team RWBY with dire secrets months after knowing them is so unquestioningly bad that he has to give an in-depth and very serious apology while explicitly saying he was in the wrong, which the mains then begrudgingly and seriously accept (even though they were laughing with Emerald mere seconds before.) Which isn't to say that I don't think Ozpin had anything to apologize for, just that the framing of Ozpin's dialogue and reception versus Emerald's is ridiculous. Therefore Ironwood being redeemed after wishing he could torture, shooting a child off a high place, and threatening to destroy a town... In the narrative of the show, that can be brushed aside fairly easily. But both the show and the FNDM at large have constructed a narrative where going against the mains is what's treated as hard to come back from and worthy of all the ire and disgust in the world - unless the character comes crawling back, bowing to Ruby's whims in every plan, and regretting ever doubting Ruby's amazing simple soul and the protagonist approved goals she's decided on.

If the price of Ironwood coming back and being redeemed is him kissing up to Ruby and joining the gang of people who just pat her on the back and assure her she doesn't ever need to change or listen to others... I might kindly ask MKEK to keep him dead. Ironwood belongs to his fans now as far as I'm concerned.

They can bring James back, and they even have an easy way to redeem him in their back pocket. But I don't trust them as far as I can throw them, and with the way they've been writing their show, I'd just as soon let James rest.

[whats-in-the-canister]

Taina “Caveira” Pereira x Fem!Reader - Closets

Summary: Taina is a good adoptive mother, despite her unconventional methods.

tags; parenting, sfw, reference to Caveria’s anti social personality disorder, wlw relationship, you’re a parent now, beta read by : @cosmiccutie18 , ily, not spellchecked tho I don’t do that here

Taina is a complicated woman. You’re into that.

That’s what you tell most people when they ask why you, of all people, share a wedding band with Rainbow’s residential interrogator. She was strong in places you weren’t, and you were soft in places she wasn’t. After a month of knowing eachother, you both had quickly noticed how in tune you were. You knew you loved eachother after three. Then after that, about a year later, you both knew you wanted to spend the rest of your possibly short lives (due to your job) together.

Your coworkers were a bit shocked, to say the least. They say opposites attract but no one was expecting you two to come together. However, after a drunken vent to Thermite at a after mission party, practically everyone at Hereford knew in the next hour. There were mixed responses. Some thought it was just a joke, asking you if you were pulling your April’s Fools nonsense early this year. Others believed it was dangerous, that she might be hurting you, or likewise you might be hurting her. Luckily, most congratulated you after you told them it was completely serious.

:read more:

On days where her past caught up to her, and she couldn’t bring herself to speak in public, you were there to drag her away from the crowds. You would whisk her away to a private section of the gym, so she could work out her problems. You would lay nearby and listen to her break sand. Whether it was her brothers driving her mad, Doc making her beyond livid, or God forbid Harry trying to make her go to counseling, you were there. She was glad you understood what she needed, as most people couldn’t read her.

On days where you couldn’t stand the sound of your own voice, or the sight of your own face, she would be there to break a mirror and put on a movie. She would be there to find the problem and fix it as soon as possible. On days where you would dispute with coworkers, she would be there behind your back, daring anyone to try to land a hand on her Coração. You appreciated her head and her heart alike, knowing both of her sides were always with you.

Suffice to say, you loved eachother. Then one day, you both decided to share that love.

Despite what people say, Taina is a sweetheart. You knew this when she would insist on feeding a stray outside the apartment, or donating an extra few cents at the store. The day you found her privately reading adoption articles online, you decided to have a talk.

At work, she had talked to a few of the other ops during a break from training. Alexsander and James were bragging about their daughters. Despite seeming uninterested, she couldn’t help but snoop.

She explained she had no interest in having her own children, as did you. However, she couldn’t help but feel like she was missing something. She told you about all the kids she knew while working for BOPE. The children she contacted on the streets for inside information, and how they never got a chance to grow up. How they never knew what family looked like, only what they didn’t have. It broke her heart at first, and she tried to convince herself she could desensitize herself to it.

Short story: it didn’t work.

So, you two came to an agreement. You would adopt, if you could manage leave from Hereford.

At first, you wanted a baby. Then you both considered how many older kids are looked over in adoption. You suggested a teenager, but she said she wanted younger. You agreed on a child around ten. Sex didn’t matter, neither did appearance. And no matter what they had been through, you were going to protect and care for them. They were going to be your child, after all.

After going through so many checks and forms, you were allowed to adopt a year later.

Taina cried when you met her, the first time you ever saw her do so in public. That night, she carried your child home, the little one refusing to let go of the broad woman.

A year later, your daughter had become comfortable around you both. Her name was Rose. Nine years old, put into the system at seven. She reminded you of Taina, with her quietness and little fidgets. You took care of her as your own, swearing to be there for her and your little family. While you were busy raising her, Taina was busy spoiling her rotten. You accepted not being the fun mom, but you could deal with it, seeing them both smile so brightly. Due to reasons beyond your understanding, you weren’t given context behind her adoption. Most likely for the best.

However, you could infer. From her reactions to Taina appearing in silence, she was always on edge. Your child couldn’t sleep at night, and rarely spoke. Despite what pain it brought to you, you knew she had been through something she wouldn’t be ready to address in a long time. It tore Taina apart. The woman knew what her bebê was going through. Growing up in poverty, never knowing if her family was going to be safe or not, she could relate to her on another level that went by you.

Rose’s problems continued, through emotional outbursts, sleeping trouble, and even moments of panic that seemed to come out of nowhere. At lunch, one moment she could be halfway through a meal, then another she would be red with tears eyes. She would cry uncontrollably, only being able to point at what was bothering her. You would hold her, comforting her through her fits. Unfortunately, they started while Taina was on a mission.

After a particularly bad fit, you had called Caveira when Rose was put to sleep. The woman answered instantly, wondering how you were and how Rose was as well. After expressing her woes and explaining her job this round, you broke the news to her. She paused, visually worried, and told you she’d be back soon to help through a stammer. She didn’t know what to do either, but she knew she was going to have to do something.

About a week later, your love was home. Rose ran down the stairs once she heard the door, almost tripping over her own feet to meet Taina. The woman didn’t bother to take off her vest or even put down her bags. She was just content with holding Rose up to her chest, carrying her around the house practically the entire later half of the day. She only let go when dinner was finished, but still then, she wanted to be near Taina or in her lap.

That night, when you were putting her to bed, she didn’t want to let go of Taina’s arm. She cried, trying to pull her mama down into her little bed. You stroked her hair, asking her what was wrong. She was quiet, an aura of fear surrounding her. All she could do was tear up and point to the other side of the room. After a few minutes, you were able to calm her down and she fell asleep...only to wake up screaming halfway into the night.

You and Taina were fast on your feet, running to her room, fearing the worse, only to be encountered with the same problem. A glazed look of fear and a gesture to the other side of the room. You relented, bringing her into your room for that night. She slept well after that, until the next night.

Rose stayed with you again that night, only to wake up halfway through it once more, clinging onto you for her life. Taina scanned the room, trying to find the problem, only to be met with the same pointer finger again. She followed her daughter’s lead, eyes landing on your closet. She stood up, trudging across the room, fist raised as she ran into the closet. The door slammed against the wall, showing it as empty, aside from your clothes and gear.

Your daughter grew quiet, smiling. Taina smiled back, giving you both a kiss before falling back to sleep, Rose quick behind her. You sighed in relief, following.

You thought this was the last of it, but you were wrong. The night afterwards, Rose slept in her own room. You had finished cleaning up for the day as Taina came out of the shower. You were switching into your pajamas as she wandered into your shared room, smiling.

“Aren’t you in a good mood?” You grinned, happy to see her so content.

“She’s made it a few good hours. I think we fixed the problem.” She laughed leaning her head onto your shoulder, resting her eyes. “What has she been through to scare her like that?”

Your hand fell onto her jaw as you contemplated the words. “We will know one day. I don’t like to think of it too much, but she will heal on her time, no matter what happened. Did she ever tell you about her dreams?”

“No, never. I think she’s ashamed of talking about them with me. I hate it.”

You sighed, laying down with her. You fixed the pillows and sheets as you sank down into your bed. “Someone’s always there trying to ‘get her’. Like the ones you have, but I think she’s reliving some sort of event.” You shivered, thinking about the words she spoke to you after you finished her schooling for the day. The tremble in her voice, the fear in her eyes. Beside you, Taina raised to put a hand on your shoulder, still. She was quiet and unfazed, by you knew what she was thinking.

“I think it’s best to not think about it.” You muttered as you wife nodded in agreement. Eventually, you nodded off into sleep, with Taina’s arm behind your pillow.

The room was pitch dark, with only one sound waking you up. Rose screaming. Much louder than you were used to. She was yelling hysterically, pleading in the language she shared with her other mother. It didn’t just sound like a nightmare this time. You and Taina moved in a flash, sprinting down the hallway. Your feet slammed against the floor as you swung Rose’s door open, Caveira was behind you, the knife she kept at your bedside in her hand.

Your daughter was alone, pointing at her closet again, that had no signs of being opened. Rose was swelling with tears, panting through gulps of air, if she had a sob choked down. Taina took only a second to act, rushing over to your daughter. “Rose, what’s wrong?”

Rose spewed a bunch of words, not understandable to you. A mix of syllables neither of you understood. You gently layed a hand on her back, petting her slowly. “It’s alright, we’re here. I’m here. Mami is here. You don’t have to say anything...” Taina was quiet beside you, eyes fixed on your child’s closet. Taking another gulp of air, Rose managed to speak and point. “He’s back, but you... you just don’t see him. He’s hiding and I can’t find him.”

Taina turned her head, looking your daughter in her eyes. “Bebê, who?” You interrupted, “He—“ Taina spoke louder, realizing something you didn’t. “No, you don’t have to say, where does he hide?” Your daughter calmed down for a second, raising a hand to point at her closet. Taina turned to the closet, raising her blade, a look of sternness coming over her face.

You recognized her stance.

Caveira raised her leg, before striking the door with the bottom of her foot. It flew off its hinges, sounding off as it crashed into the back of the closet. A hole was left where the hinges tore themselves off the wall. Rose blinked beside you at her destroyed room. It grew quiet, aside from your daughter’s soft breath.

Taina turned to her, “He’s not in here. Want me to check the rest of the house?”

Rose nodded, leaning into your chest as you picked her up. You left her room, heading to yours. Taina led the way, silent as a mouse as she turned the corner with her knife. Her body language mimicked what you recognized as her prowl during missions. Your daughter could tell she wasn’t fooling around.

Your bedroom’s closet was soon demolished, the blinds on it soon cracked into splinters. Your daughter watched her other mother in amazement. Taina cleared the large closet, knife still raised blade up.

Soon, you all stalked downstairs. Eventually, your daughter let you put her down. She followed behind Taina, mimicking her moves. The living room was next. Taina peaked around the corner, clearing the section in her line of sight. She crept her way towards the closet where you kept the extra tables and blankets. The wooden door was thin, easy to break, but no light could leak through its cracks. You pr daughter hid behind you, only tilting her head out from the corner of the doorframe.

Taina wasted no time wasting it either, with no mercy. It was soon left shattered, on the ground. Your heart pained thinking of the costs, but your daughter’s soft smile was worth it. Taina crept back over, in a whisper. She muttered to her daughter, “C’mon, we still need to check the pantry and bathrooms.” Rose nodded, taking her mother’s hand.

Taina made quick work of the pantry, letting your daughter check it for herself afterwards. The guest bathroom was destroyed. The shower curtains were torn down and the little closet for shampoos and towels was layed on the floor in waste. Eventually, only the last bathroom was left. Rose was walking with confidence now.

Taina looked at you, gesturing you forward. You knew what she was trying to say. You took a step forward, biting your lip. You weren’t jui jitsu artist like Caveira, but you had boxed with Craig a couple of times. You sized up the door, planting yourself, before knocking it down with a crash. The last closet in the house was demolished. All was now quiet and your daughter was beaming.

Rose looked up at Taina. Your daughter quickly dried her tears, amazed by your wife. There wasn’t a trace of fear on her little face.

She kneeled down, talking to her daughter. “He can’t hide from us now, bebê. He’ll have to show up in person. If he does, I’ll show him what those doors went through. And worse. No one will hurt you while momma and I are here.”

That morning, you all slept in. In your own rooms, with no nightmares. The next day, you did the same thing. Then the week after that. After the week after that one, Rose asked mami to teach her how to kick like you two.

[angelguk]

→ (better) left unsaid — a jeongguk scenario

member: jeon jeongguk

word count: 2.8k

genre: angst + pining + best friends au + yes i stole a whole song from terrace house 2019-2020 (thank you kenny for the lyrics and risako for inspiring the song) + lead singer of an indie band!jk + based on (roughly) 2 requests + i slightly altered the song kenny wrote please don’t judge me 4 my song writing skills + listen to the soundtracks it enhances the experience

soundtracks: why can’t i have you, gloria laing + angela, flower face

Jeongguk looks ethereal. Even from your position in the crowd, you can’t help but slip into a state of awe over the way the golden stage lights falter through his tousled curls. He glows, up there. An angel with a guitar and a charming smile. The music moves with him, gliding from the swift skip of his hand across the strings, coaxing out a melody that fluxes through you. You’ve heard this song a million times - he’d played it just for you before he ever hopped on the stage and began singing out those lyrics for everyone else in this cramped hall. And yet, tonight feels like the very first time. Neither of you had anticipated this type of turn out. In this small town, events like this made little impact; nobody cared about a loud boy and his even louder band. They were an invisible ripple in the lake of ordinary life. But not tonight. Tonight they are everything. There are people in this hall that you’ve never even seen before. You’d heard mumbles about someone driving in from the town over. Whispers of someone mentioning streaming them on Spotify. A girl squealing over a picture Taehyung posted on his Instagram moments before the show kicked off. It’s strange, gazing up at the boy you’ve known for over a decade in this sea of bodies that jostle you around. You feel a little faceless, a little distant. Like a lump of driftwood. But your eyes don’t leave him - they can’t. He just looks so perfect up there. Like he belongs on that stage, beneath the heat of those lights, singing his heart out through songs he wrote on the floor of your bedroom.

It’s bittersweet. This moment. And perhaps that’s why you start crying.

You don’t notice the tears until some girl nudges your shoulder, wordlessly passing over a packet of pocket tissues. Her gaze is sympathetic. You mumble a thank you and wipe away your tears with the back of your hand instead.

“They’re amazing, aren’t they?” She tries instead. She has to lean in to your space to utter those words over the sharp rapping of Taehyung’s drums. Jeongguk silvery timbre can't drown out the shrill of her voice in your ear.

“Yeah. They are.” You choke over those words but you act like you don’t. The wan smile on her lips falters for a second before she swiftly picks it up. And then she’s opening her mouth again. You’d like it if she closed it instead. Something about this conversation is tainting the brilliance of this moment.

“My friends and I are gonna try and meet them after the show. Do you wanna come with us? I bet that’ll cheer you up.” You barely hid the scoff that slips from your throat. The little “I know them” sits smugly on your tongue. But you don’t want to give her that piece of information. She’d begin pestering for behind stage access immediately. And from her incapacity to read the hostility in your gaze you can tell she's persistent. That or just incredibly dim. 

“No, thank you,” you say instead, handing back the pocket tissues. It’s in that instance that you properly take a look at her. Dainty smile, long straight hair, bright brown eyes and a figure you can notice without your gaze even dipping downwards. Jeongguk would like her. He always ended up liking girls like her.

She just gawks at you, a brief moment of confusion clouding over her features before she huffs and turns back to her friends. You don’t miss the way she pointedly aims her back in your direction, despite your bodies being right next to each other. You can’t even bother to pretend to care because you don’t. Your eyes float back to the stage before your brain can even register it. The song is nearly over, beads of sweat already forming along his hairline. Even with exhaustion dragging over him, Jeongguk looks good. He always looks good. Effortlessly so. And when he finishes the song with a little shake of his head and a pleasant note that pulls a vein along his neck with his eyes locked on the crowd, you feel it. A dangerous spark that pangs through your chest. Fast and hard and aching to be heard. You deafen it with the earsplitting roars of the audience, a remark from the girl beside you sailing over your head.

“He’s so hot.”

The short sentence is possessive enough for you to guess her intentions for attempting to go backstage with clarity. But she’s not wrong either. Jeongguk is hot. He’s always been hot. Hot even when he accidentally stained his scalp purple when he dyed it for the first time. Hot when he’s got an old stain marring his grey sweatpants. Hot when he’s camped on your couch playing video games when his house is right next door and the couch in there is empty. Hot when he’s dumping a whole pack of Hot Cheetos down his throat. Hot when he’s crawling into your lap, requesting for a post maths homework cuddle session for recovery purposes. Hot when he flings rocks at your window and asks you to come outside when he could just send you a text.

(Yes, he broke your window once. No, your mom didn’t come for his neck like she would have if you had done it - all because Jeongguk was the son she never had).

It makes the pang in your heart hurt even more. Because you’ve always looked at Jeongguk through that lens - even though you tried your best to never see him that way. And you’re sure he’s never seen you in that light. 

Except once - once you thought you saw him look at you like that. Like you were his entire world. And he never wanted to lose you. You remember it vividly; it's embedded in your memory. A slither of hope that spurred the fire in your heart. Just that one moment. It’s all you ever needed. It’s all you ever wanted.

“New York?” There was a lilt of incredulity in his tone, followed by a quick straight snap of his spine as he examined your gaze. “You’re leaving for New York?”

You hadn't been able to say yes, your throat sealed with sentiments you’d never dared to express. So you hummed instead, the minute sound accompanied with a brief nod of your head. 

He’d fallen silent, still looking at you as if you’d sprouted a second head and started levitating. And then his eyes hit the floor, soft curls tumbling into his line of vision, a strange stillness descended upon the both of you.

“New York.” He’d said it again as if murmuring it would make it any less true.

“It’s a great school, Jeongguk. I didn’t even think I would get in.” That’s a lie. You did think you had a chance to get in. You would have cried if you’d opened the email to a rejection letter instead of an offer one. But the despondency that had slunk over Jeongguk’s face made you hold onto your words. The fact that he still hadn’t congratulated you spoke wonders.

“Oh. Well, congratulations.” He had read the expectancy in your tone but there’s no jubilance in his. And when he next glanced up his gaze was guarded, like he’s hiding something from you. “If there’s anyone that deserves it, it’s you.” But he said it with his eyes trained on the wall behind you.

For some reason that didn’t feel compliment. And when you had attempted to launch into an explanation about the school and its perfect Co-Op program and all the things you couldn’t wait to experience, Jeongguk had halted you, spiralling into a monologue about the new song he’d written the day before. You couldn’t get another word in before he tugged his guitar into his lap and strummed out a melody. He was usually like that - but just for that day. Just for that one day, you expected more from him. 

And then he’d given it to you. When he finally had to leave, he’d looked at you for a moment. A long moment. Something swimming behind the honey of his eyes. The sigh that fell from his lips was heavy, weighted down with words you felt trapped in your chest. The hug he’d pulled you in was tight as if Jeongguk was grappling for the words he longed to put his thoughts into. His chest pressed flushed into yours, an odd erratic beating echoing between the two of you. But the moment his arms lifted from your waist, whatever was ruminating in his head was gone. Vanished into thin air; nothing but a phantom in your room.

Remembering that doesn’t help the pain gripping at your heart. Because today was your last day at home. You had to leave tomorrow in order to make it in time for Orientation Week. This was your very last night with him - the ending of your last summer with him. Summer had been summer; saturated with memories you’ll reminisce over on nights alone, even before your age reveals itself in the wrinkles of your skin. But something about it had felt lacklustre. Perhaps it was the distance Jeongguk kept from you, a sudden barrier erected in the middle of your friendship. He'd spent less time in your home, preferring to crash over at his band-mates or just avoid you altogether. You still gravitated towards each other whenever you happened to be at the same place, an invisible thread stringing your souls together. Yet, Jeongguk still held you afar, despite your attempts to tug him closer. Which is all you ever wanted to do - hold him closer.

The final soft note of the song is strung out, suspended over the crowd like reminiscents of silage. It coaxes you out of your thoughts, gaze gravitating towards the stage. There’s a jolt in your system when your eyes lock on Jeongguk’s. He’s staring at you hard, a strange determination lingering in the way he looks at you. You don’t even hear it, the thunderous applause that spills from the crowd too caught in deciphering what his eyes are telling you. Jeongguk does though, body falling lax at approval from the audience. His fingertips stay fiddling with his guitar as he launches into a transition speech, the smile on his face radiant. You let the words drone over you, mind commemorating the happiness that illuminates his face at this moment. Nothing can describe the bashful blush rising underneath his golden skin and the bright star-like glimmer in his eyes but you try your best to commit this to your memory. Jeongguk looks effervescent up there. Burning like a star on the verge of a supernova.

“This next song,” Jeongguk states, the baritone in his voice filling your chest. “Is for someone I hold dear to my heart. It’s a new one, and I hope you love it as much as I do.” That catches your attention. Jeongguk hadn’t played anything new at rehearsal. He hadn’t shown you any new lyrics either. There’s a sudden heat building in your chest - but you can’t distinguish whether it’s from betrayal or excitement.

Jeongguk gaze skips over you, and then he sighs, a soft sound that echoes from his microphone. “Sometimes, I find it hard to say what I feel. Especially when I feel strongly about something - or someone. I end up keeping it all to myself. But, I would just like to say, to the person who this song is for, I mean every word of it. I hope you don’t mind me saying it in a song,” There’s a huff of a laugh fumbling out of his mouth, “I just can’t find the courage to say it to you in person.”

It’s like your brain stops. Every function halted. You don’t miss the pointed glance he gives your way before he starts strumming again. Taehyung follows the rhythm, his drums producing a beat that syncopates with the thrumming of your heart. You’ve never heard him play those chords before, your palms already growing clammy as your eyes glue themselves to the stage. 

When his mouth drops open, a delicate note gliding from his lips, your heart stops. 

“Those nights you can’t sleep

I can see you’re feeling 

Alone tonight, alone tonight

In exchange for those dark nights,

Without shining stars,

I’ll be your light, be your light.”

Your head feels hot; eyes warm with the torrent of tears you struggle to hold back. The crowd is silent, swaying along to the comforting sound of Jeongguk’s voice. You can barely breathe, throat clogged with the myriad of emotions you can’t organise in your head because all you can hear is the loud frenetic beating of your heart. It doesn’t help that Jeongguk’s gaze does not stray from your own, steady despite the tremor you notice in the fingers plucking out the chords of this song. Your song. It’s evident from his direct stare that he’s singing it to you. And you don’t know what to make of it. There are too many people in this jammed hall for you to let your feelings reveal themselves, but the faint smile tugging at your lips is enough for Jeongguk to keep going, a strange burst of confidence ebbing through his chest. He projects the chorus loud and clear. The words gently glide through the air, wrapping themselves around your heart.

“Wherever you are,

Whatever time of day,

I’ll run to you,

I’ll be there for you,   

Tonight and forever.”

You’re suddenly aware of the new wetness covering your cheeks, a tiny sob drifting from your throat as your palm roughly wipes at the tears in your eyes. It’s sudden, this ardent rush of adoration that saturates your system. So fast that you nearly choke again, blatantly ignoring the pointedly appalled look the girl beside you throws in your direction. The bow of your head is automatic, palm holding back the sob that threatens to escape your lips. He’s still singing, pushing past the own clog in this throat because he’ll never get another chance to tell you this again. It hurts, even from up here, seeing the shudder of your shoulders as you cry. He’d noticed it during the previous song, your tears. The doubt in him had reared its head and Jeongguk nearly tossed this song from the set list. But it had taken a lot of determination on his part to pen out the things you make him feel. He’d never been able to tell you this but Jeongguk loves you. Loves you more than anything he’s ever had the chance to love. He’d first picked up the guitar because you hadn’t been able to stop talking about Hyunmin’s guitar skills after summer camp when you were nine. And it had just spiralled from there; Jeongguk doing anything and everything to get him to look at you as more than a friend but you never did. Not once. As a result, he’d given up. Attempted to erase the lens of love from his vision whenever he looked at you. It had been hard but Jeongguk had learnt how to keep that part of him buried, too afraid to lose the most significant person in his life with the greed of his heart. Then you told him you were leaving, and he felt himself shatter into pieces.

There are people that you think are going to be a part of your life forever, simply because you wouldn’t be you without them there. Jeongguk thought that about you. You’d seen all of him; the good, the ugly and the terrible. And you had stayed. Even when Jeongguk didn’t want to be around himself, you were there. So for you to just leave - leave like you didn't need him in your life in the first place, hit like a punch to the face. He’d tried to brush it off, smiled and congratulated you when he found out, but everything in him wanted to ask you to stay. Just stay, for him. But he knows he can’t do that - doesn’t have the right to do that. You’re too luminous for this small town, and you deserve to shine with the other stars in this galaxy, not fade away into darkness.

And yet, he still aches to ask you to stay. But he'd never do that. It'd taken him over a decade to tell you that he loved you. And he was doing it indirectly too. Jeongguk doesn't have the heart to be that selfish. Even though he's hurting inside, he knows the best thing he can do is keep that little desire to himself. Let the hand holding you tight grow loose.

“How can I mirror, 

Everything you pour into me?

If there’s nothing more I can do

Then I need to set you free.”

[justinalovee]

Now we live

Previous chapter

Chapter: 0.07

Nova stood watching as Kane tried to blend his people with her own. It was a disaster waiting to happen. She was surprised her commander had agreed to it.

“Monin.” Kane said cheerily. “I thought we'd start with a reception then move on to training. We have a lot to learn from each other. Weapons there, please. Only Ark guards are here.” Indra along with other grounders threw their weapons into a box. “Thank you for agreeing to this, Indra.”

Indra looked him up and down, before replying with a snarky comment. “We're here on the commander's orders. I agreed to nothing.”

The council meeting room quickly became full of grounders. Kane looked uncomfortable as he spoke to Jaha in a low voice. Nova tried not to smirk as she heard Octavia telling a guard to stick his tongue up his ass. She sighed listening to Kane deliver a speech about their common enemy, the mountain men.

Nova’s eyes landed on Murphy as one of the other grounders started to square up to him. She bit down on her bottom lip as she decided what to do. With eyes on them Murphy had suggested they kept a low profile with the aftermath of Finn’s death still being raw, and a part of that was not jumping in to defend each other unless it was necessary. Nova did as Lexa said and stayed away from the ceremony, but now Nova wasn’t sure if she could go back as whispers about her involvement had started to spread. Thankfully it hadn’t reached the ears of the sky clan yet.

Murphy glared at the person in front of him, “you got a problem?”

“Yu stood der watching while Ai village was massacred.” ‘You stood there watching while my village was massacred.’

Nova couldn’t hold her tongue. “Penn hod op. Yu get in em wasn’t em.” ‘Penn stop. You know it wasn’t him.’

Murphy shrugged, “sorry man. I don’t speak grounder.

Penn stepped even closer to Murphy, causing him to push the grounder back. Kane stormed over to them. “Mr. Murphy, apologize to that man.”

“For what?” Murphy asked. “He started it!”

Kane shook his head. “Two days' work detail.”

“Work detail? I just told you I didn't do it-” Murphy challenged him.

“Care to make it three?”

Penn glared at Murphy, “you can burn just like your friend.” Murphy clenched his fist but ignored the comment. He was trying his best not to take the bait.

Penn smirked, “Hei nova? ha does Ai feel bilaik a skaikru slut nau? everybody get in Yu turned bilaik bakon ona bilaik gada in kru gon Disha. cockroach. Ai wonder chit bilaik sister would fig raun taim she could-”

Penn was cut off by Murphy punching him in the face. As a riot broke out between sky people and grounders, Murphy ignored Kane who was yelling at him, and grabbed Nova’s hand and dragged her out of the room with him.

______

Murphy closed the door behind him and spun to face Nova. Who looked bewildered by what just happened. “Are you okay?”

She nodded, “I’m fine.” Her fingers trailed over the bruise appearing on his knuckles. “I can’t believe you punched Penn in the face.”

“He had it coming,” Murphy’s eyes were glued on Nova’s fingers. He wasn’t used to somebody worrying about him, she gently pressed a kiss to the back of his hand before rubbing her thumb over his swollen skin. “What did he do to you anyway?”

‘Hey Nova? How does It feel to be a Skaikru slut now? Everybody knows you turned your back on your own people for this...cockroach. I wonder what your sister would think if she could-‘

Nova shrugged, pretending the comment didn’t hurt her. “Nothing important, just that I’m a slut, a traitor, and he was starting to talk about my sister when you punched him.”

Murphy gritted his teeth. He would have done more than punch Penn in the face if he had known what he was saying. “How do you say I’m sorry in grounder?”

Nova chuckled. “I’m fiya, why? Are you thinking of apologising for causing a riot?”

Smiling Murphy shook his head. “Hell no. I just wanted to say...I’m fiya Nova.” He brushed a loose strand of hair behind ear, “you could have gotten hurt in there.”

She closed her eyes. “I’ve been through much worse, and so have you.”

Murphy gulped down, his eyes had trailed from her fingers to her pink lips. His feelings towards the grounder confused him. From the moment he let her escape the drop-ship something changed. He had never put his neck on the line for anyone before, let alone a stranger. The grounder girl who helped him live quickly became his only friend. But now? Murphy wasn’t sure if friendship was the only thing he wanted.

Nova opened her eyes to see Murphy gazing down at her. The look made her stomach tighten, her lips parted slightly as he leaned towards her.

The door to the room swung open, as Clay, a young grounder stood sheepishly rubbing his neck. “Kane en indra are lufa au Yu both. Ai heard chit happened fou, Skai boy punched penn gon defend Yu?” ‘Kane and Indra are looking for you both. I heard what happened before, Sky boy punched penn to defend you? Causing a massive fight to break out? ’

A wide smile spread across Nova’s face as she nodded, “he don dula.”

Murphy frowned as the grounder raised his eyebrows and left, “what was that about it?”

“He was asking if it was true if you punched Penn, and caused riot.” She laughed, “Kane and Indra are looking for us.”

Great, just great.

______

“Good, Fio. Who's next?”

“I am.” Octavia stepped forward, “We're supposed to train together right?”

A few grounders tutted as the sky girl argued with Indra that she should train with them. Kane stood beside Nova who was leaning against the wall. “Aren’t you going to train?”

She shook her head, “I’ve never been much of a fighter.”

“What is your skill?” He asked curiously. Kane wasn’t dumb, every grounder he had came across had a specialsed skill.

“Archer...” memories of the promise she made to Treyton came flooding back. “Let gyon au kom foutaim.” Kane raised his eyebrow at the grounders mumble. Nova cleared her throat, “We should all try our best to let go of the past. I can teach your people how to use a bow and arrow if they are interested. And Indra says it’s okay.”

He smiled, “thank you.”

______

“I take it you don't approve.” Murphy did his best to Ignore Jaha. “I asked you a question.”

Murphy stopped mopping and turned to face Jaha. “Who cares what I think.”

“I do. That’s why I asked.” Jaha looked back at his people and grounders training together. “So what do you think?”

“I think the grounders can go to hell.” The moments the words passed his lips he regretted saying them. Murphy didn’t hate all grounders, he was pissed at them getting special treatment. “Most of them anyway.”

The chancellor waited until the hallway was clear before following John further into the camp. “I got you off work detail.” He watched as the teenager screwed his face up. “You knew my son and I'd like you to take me to his grave. Now that there's a truce, it's safe for me to go see the body.”

“Then get somebody else to take you,” Murphy spat.

“I'm told the graves are unmarked. You can show me which is his.” Jaha offered Murphy a gun, which he accepted. “You can hold a mop, you can hold and gun.”

______

Murphy scoffed as he watched Jaha kneeling at Wells grave. He had no sympathy for the man who killed his father. “Are we about done? We got to be heading back.”

Jaha didn’t take his off Well’s grave, “How well did you know him?”

“Well enough to be hung for his murder.” Murphy paused, “Clarke sugarcoated it for you didn't she?”

“What happened to my son?

Murphy sighed, he didn’t want to relive one of the worst days of his life. “Twelve-year-old girl stabbed him in the neck with a knife she took from me”

Jaha shot his head up. “Why would she do that?”

“She couldn't kill you,” he shrugged. “Yeah, so you got a lot of blood on your hands, Chancellor. Every single one of them including your son would still be alive if you hadn't sent us down here.”

Jaha stood up and clasped his hands behind his back. “ If I didn't send you, they would've died on the Ark with the rest of us and we would've never known that Earth was survivable. Their sacrifice is why we are here. Good can come out of even the darkest acts, John.”

Murph groaned as Jaha started to walk the wrong way, “Camp you is that way.”

“We'll rest at the dropship for a while.”

“Suit yourself.”

______

Murphy shook his head as Jaha continued to offer him food. “You sure? You must be hungry?”

“No one gives anything without expecting anything in return.”

Jaha looked at him with a blank expression on his face. “That's a cynical way to go through life, John.”

“You pull me off work detail, you offer me food. Why are you being so nice to me.”

The chancellor cleared his throat, as if was getting ready to deliver a speech. “Everyone deserves a second chance. That's why we sent the hundred to the Earth in the first place.”

“What a load of crap. You didn't give a damn about us. You still don't, that's why you're not fighting for those kids in Mount Weather.”

Jaha gave him a disapproving look. “I have to think of everyone. I know you don't want to hear this but sometimes you have to sacrifice the few to save the many. Like I said, good can come out of even the darkest acts.”

Murphy shook his head. The only person who treated him like a human was Nova, she showed him kindness when nobody else did. “Then you can take it from me, I was pardoned, slate wiped clean I'm still treated like dirt.”

“You made mistakes, so have I.”

Murphy glared at him, “I'm nothing like you, Chancellor.”

“No, we both should have died several times over. We both suffered at the hands of the grounders. We both have been betrayed and imprisoned by our own people.”

“So there's no place for us,” Murphy said sarcastically. “Great thought you were supposed to be inspiring.”

“There is a place for all of us. When I first landed on Earth I met a woman who spoke of a place beyond the dead zone, a place where everyone is accepted, a city of light.”

“Sounds like a fairytale.” Murphy continued to listen to Jaha’s rambles about a better life, while trying not to think about what could be happening back at camp.

______

Murphy awoke in the drop-ship to the sounds of others talking. What the fuck? He jumped to his feet, “Hey what the hell is this?”

Jaha stepped to the side to reveal a small group of people standing outside. “We're going to the City of Light.”

“You're going now? There's a million ways to die out there.”

“If it's not your time, nothing can kill you. If it is your time it only takes one.” Murphy opened his mouth to reply when Nova came into view. What the hell was she doing here? Jaha smiled at the young man’s expression. “I thought you might want some company Mr. Murphy.”

Nova quickly hugged her friend before turning to face the strange man who had asked her to join them. “Do you even have a map?”

“Nope.”

Murphy wrapped his arm around Nova’s shoulder. “Then how do you know where you're going?”

“I don't, but I won't be moved by fear. You want to stop being treated like a criminal. You gotta stop thinking that's what you are. Take this leap of faith with me, John Murphy and let me show you there is so much more for you than this.”

Jaha started to lead his ‘people’ away. Murphy and Nova watched as the group started to fo further into the forest. “Why did you come?”

“Jaha...your leader said he knows what I’ve done...he apparently knows how to make the pain stop.” She blinked away tears, “I feel so guilty. Every time I see your people...I see his face everywhere I look.”

“So you want to go?”

Nova bit down on her bottom lip. “I-I don’t know. I’m not going anywhere without you, if you stay I stay.”

For the first time in hours a smile pulled at the corners of Murphy’s mouth. He weighed up their options, they could return to camp Jaha and risk others finding out what Nova had done, or take a chance. “What the hell,” he shrugged. “My people hate me, and Lexa has practically banished you. Let’s see what this place has to offer.”

Nova leaned up and kissed him on the check. Murphy locked his own fingers with hers, as they started to catch up with the group searching for the city of lights.

[mermaidsneedwater]

christmas with you | chapter six

series page

tag list: @yup-indecisive-girl-cece

Santa Tell Me

Weary of your previous morning, you and Mark had decided to play it safe and sleep separately.

Mark stirred on the floor, turning on his side and scrunching his eyes as the sunlight from the window streamed in. Unable to fall back asleep, he stood up and stretched his arms. Mark glanced at your sleeping figure as you snored softly.

You looked so peaceful, your face was the most relaxed he’d ever seen. Coming closer, he bent down to his knees to see you. He’d always known you were pretty, but seeing you know he’d come to appreciate how beautiful you were on the inside and out. Slowly, Mark began to tuck a stray piece of hair behind your ear.

Stirring in your sleep, your eyes slowly opened to see Mark inches away from your face.

“AH!” You yelled, sitting up in bed.

“AH!” Mark jumped back.

“Oh my god what the hell are you doing?” You asked. “Who gets up in someone’s face first thing in the morning?!”

“I- you were, it just… I should go.” Mark quickly stood up and left the room, embarrassed. “I’m sorry.”

As he shut the door, he stood with his hand still on the door knob. Mark knew it was getting harder and harder to keep this act up. Op

+++

“It’s Christmas Eve!” Dorine cheered happily as the Tuan clan had gathered at her house. “You kids know what that means! It’s time to write your letters to Santa!”

As promised, the rest of the Tuan family members had shown up at noon to partake in the family traditions.

You saw Joey groan as he whined to his mother “Mom I’m too old for this!”

“Nonsense.” She shook her head. “Everyone under the age of thirty is writing a letter to Santa. That’s our tradition!”

“Why does Tammy get to skip out on the family traditions then? She’s 29!” Mark pointed out from the couch.

“Because I have three children Mark.” Tammy rolled her eyes. “And they will be writing their letters to Santa, not me.”

The Tuan brothers glanced at each other from across and rolled their eyes. This family tradition was one word to them, lame.

“Y/N, rules are rules so you’ll also be writing a letter.” Dorine winked at you. She left the room and brought a stack of paper, stickers and markers. Setting them down on the coffee table in the living room, you watched as Kylie and Leila quickly moved to grab their materials.

Reluctantly, Mark and Joey went ahead and took a sheet of paper each before settling on the couch. Following their lead, you picked up a piece of paper and a purple marker before sitting next to Mark.

“How am I supposed to write a letter to someone that doesn’t exist?” You heard Joey whisper to Mark.

Frowning, Mark shushed his brother and pointed to the two little girls, happily scribbling away. “Dude!”

“Whoops.” Joey grimaced.

You tapped Mark on the shoulder and watched as his frown dissipated. “What do I write?”

Smiling, Mark told you, “Usually we tell Santa about our year and if we’ve been naughty or nice. We tell him our Christmas wish, and then Mom seals our letters and sends them to the North Pole. But I think she’ll let us keep ours.”

“Oh,” You nodded, holding back a giggle. Turning back to your paper, you began to write.

Dear Santa,

It feels a bit odd writing to you. Are you really there? Well, I guess if I really think about it, I already know the answer. I don’t know if you’re all-knowing like God or something like that but I was engaged three weeks ago and now I’m at my neighbor’s family’s house for Christmas. It is crazy how life can seem like it’s going in one direction and then do a complete 180 turn. What do I want for Christmas this year? Just one person in my life who won’t hurt me like everyone else in my life has.

Blinking at the last sentence you wrote, you folded your letter and peaked over at Mark’s page. Intrigued when you thought you saw your name somewhere in his letter, you were unable to confirm it as Mark covered his writing.

“What are you doing?” He asked.

“I- I’m just trying to read your letter. This is harder than I thought it was going to be.” You admitted sheepishly.

“Well, look away, my letter to Santa is private.” He told you matter-of-factly.

“But I thought I saw my name in there!” You told him.

“It’s not your letter, so you can’t read it.” He insisted.

“Can you guys stop talking?” Kylie asked. “I’m trying to compensate.”

“Do you mean concentrate?” Joey asked.

Mark laughed before nodding and returning to his letter.

You sighed, rereading your letter, you crumpled up the paper and tossed it in the trash. Grabbing another piece of paper, you began to write again.

+++

You stood in the kitchen mixing the flour, baking powder, and salt together.

“Is this okay?” You called out to Dorine.

Grace came and checked in on your mixing, “It’s great Y/N, you’re a natural!”

Blushing, you smiled and continued to whisk the dry ingredients of the cookies together.

Due to the sheer number of family members involved in the Tuan family christmas, Dorine had explained that they baked three different types of cookies for Santa, Chocolate chip (for Kylie, Leila, Patricia and Grace), Gingerbread (for Tammy, Mark, you, and Raymond) and Sugar cookies (for Joey and Dorine). You had been tasked with making the Sugar cookies this year.

Dorine, Tammy, Kylie, Leila and you all stood in the kitchen preparing the cookie doughs and chatting amongst yourselves. You looked over your shoulder to see Dorine decorating the gingerbread men cookies with her granddaughters. The three of them smiling and laughing as they snuck bites of the cookies.

“You know Y/N, I’m going to be honest with you,” Tammy spoke up as she prepared a baking tray with the chocolate chip cookies. “I didn’t think Mark was actually dating someone.”

You prayed that the wave of panic that instantly washed over you wasn’t visible on your face “What do you mean?”

“Well I thought he just told my mom he was dating someone to settle her anxiety about him being alone for Christmas.” She explained. “I never imagined him actually being with someone. Seeing you two together is a bit strange.”

Unsure if that was a good or bad thing, all you could say was, “Oh.”

“Don’t take it the wrong way! It’s good.” She reassured you, Tammy rolled the balls of dough and placed them one by one on the tray “The thing about Mark is, he’s a loner. Always has been. And he likes it that way, it’s always been hard for him to open up to other people. But seeing the two of you together, Mark is a version of himself I barely recognize. He’s changed in the best way possible.”

“You think so?” You asked, your eyes widened.

“Absolutely. He’s more open, he seems… happy.” She told you. “Call it a big sister’s intuition, but I can see that he really loves you.”

“Oh I don’t know…” you trailed off, trying to come up with a way to switch the topic. You combined the butter and sugar with your dry ingredients.

“Trust me.” She said firmly, placing the trays of cookies in the oven. “If he hasn’t said it to you already he definitely will. It’s probably why he brought you home for Christmas.”

+++

The rest of the evening was filled with everything you expected with the Tuan family, love, food, and lots of laughter.

Eventually, everyone retired for the night in anticipation for Christmas Day. You kept your distance from Mark, still mulling over Tammy’s words.

There was no way Mark loved you. You were just his fake girlfriend, nothing more.

Looking up at the ceiling of Mark’s room, you quietly kicked off the covers and tiptoed past Mark. Quietly closing the door, you headed downstairs to make yourself some hot cocoa.

Attempting to be as quiet as possible you brought a mug down from the shelf and began to prepare your drink. Glancing at the plate of cookies on the counter, you decided to have one. Softly chewing the cookie, you broke it into pieces and dipped it into your cocoa.

“Are you eating Santa’s cookies?”

Startled, you whipped around to see who it was, none other than a half asleep Mark.

“Yes…” You trailed off. “What are you doing up?”

“Couldn’t sleep. I’m assuming you couldn’t either.” He told you casually. “Are you having hot cocoa?”

“Yes… Do you want some?”

Mark nodded and propped himself up on the kitchen counter. He watched as you prepared the sweet drink and handed him the hot mug.

The two of you made your way to the couch, sipping your drinks in silence.

“How come you couldn’t sleep?” He asked.

“I just have a lot in my mind.” You bit your lip. “I’ve been getting messages non stop from you know who.”

That part was true, over the last few days, you’d received dozens of texts from your ex fiancé. All of them begging you to come back to him.

“Oh. Have you been replying?” Mark asked. In his heart he prayed that you’d say no, that you’d tell him that you were over your fiancé.

“No. But it’s been hard.” You told him honestly.

He nodded, watching you silently. The two of you turned to look at the Christmas tree that was lit up.

“I want to do something.” Mark announced suddenly. He took the mug out of your hands and set it on the side table.

“Hey!” You pouted.

“I’m sorry, I can’t wait any longer.” Mark said, laughing at your reaction.

He walked over to the Christmas tree, bent down and picked up a neatly wrapped box with a bow on it. He brought the present to you and had you hold it.

“Shouldn’t we wait for everyone else?” You reminded him.

“I don’t care. Here, I want you to open my gift to you right now.”

You blinked, looking up at Mark as held the present “But Mark, I didn’t get you anything.”

“It’s okay, just open it.” He reassured you. Mark then knelt on his knees and watched as you tore the wrapping paper to reveal a black box.

Still unsure of what it could be, you slowly opened the box to find… a pair of ballet slippers.

You were at a loss for words as you stared at the shoes. They were without a doubt the most beautiful shoes you’d ever laid your eyes on.

“I know that you were devastated when you thought your dream was over.” Mark started slowly, “but I think you should consider dancing again, for yourself. You clearly still love it Y/N, your eyes lit up like nothing else when you told me about it. Dancing was your first love, and you never forget your first.”

Unable to form a coherent thought, you reached out and hugged Mark. Wrapping your arms around him, you felt a tear slip out and onto his shoulder.

“Is it okay?” Mark asked, suddenly unsure of if you liked his present.

“It’s perfect. No one’s ever gotten me such a thoughtful present.” You whispered between tears. “I love it.”

Satisfied with your response, you felt Mark hold you a little tighter before saying “I really want to see you dance.”

Wiping away your tears before pulling back, you laughed “I’m a bit rusty.”

“It’s okay.” He smiled. “That’s my Christmas wish.”

“Alright, I guess I can’t say no to that. I’ll try.” You gave in, unable to refuse his request. You took the shoes out of the box and began lacing them up underneath your pajama pants. Mark offered a hand as you stood up in the shoes, the feeling being so familiar and so foreign at the same time.

“You got it?” He asked, looking into your eyes.

You tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear and nodded. Taking a breath, you began to do a few simple steps from your routine that you could recall.

Mark watched with wonder as you gracefully moved across the room and twirled. It was as if you could float on air. Mesmerized with your movement, he hadn’t even noticed you falling until he heard you yelp in pain. Immediately coming to your aid, Mark helped you stand up again.

“You’re incredible.” He managed to say.

“No I’m not, I fell on my butt.” You said, dusting your shirt off.

“I really mean it.” He told you, still holding your hand. “That was the best gift ever.”

You held his gaze before letting out a small cough, “If you say so. It’s late, We should probably get back to bed.”

Mark looked at the time, trying his best to hide his disappointment, he replied “Yeah, it’s almost three o’clock in the morning.”

“Thank you for the ballet slippers.” You gave him a small smile before reaching up to kiss his cheek. “I love them.”

Mark’s eyes widened as he watched you quickly turn around and scurry up the stairs to the room. He put his hand to his face, feeling where your lips had connected to his cheek.

He would never say it out loud, but in that moment he could swear he felt his heart skip a beat.

chapter five | chapter seven

[overwatchworks]

Burnin’ In Your Veins:

You can read this on Ao3 as well (can’t put the link anymore on tumblr, sorry, but my Ao3 username is WhiskeysWorks ^^)

Then he was back in Jesse’s room in the middle of the night, staring at him until he came over to pick up the pieces of him that shattered as soon as he touched his arm. Stretched so thin it only took a wrong breath to break him.

Genji was only pieces of himself anymore, desperately trying to hold on to his humanity while dealing with the traumas that took everything from him. Most of his battles were psychological. Wounds no one could touch or see.

No one but Jesse, when Genji finally, finally let him in.

Genji had been with them for a while now. Long enough to have gone on a mission with everyone on the top team two, if not three times already. They had dismantled his family’s empire. What was left of it. Someone had already done most of the work for them. Jesse had found Genji in a room he could only assume was Hanzo’s, standing in the remains of everything he had shredded.

Wood splintered, sheets torn, tables broken and paper strewn everywhere. Blood still dripping from his katana. His faceplate. Matting his hair. It accentuated his eyes, the tears swimming in them but not falling, left Jesse wary.

Touch at the time had still not been okay.

Genji had closed himself off for a while after they got back to base, going quiet and sullen again. More so than usual. Then, Jesse coaxed him out of his shell little by little again, the two training with one another and going on missions. Genji was distracted. Made mistakes, got hurt. Jesse had a feeling not all of it was accidental. Reyes had gone in to talk to him, straighten him up, tell him he was apart of a team now and had to fucking act like it, people were killed because of you today, Shimada. Get your head out of the past, stop trying to finish the job your brother started. You’re better than that.

Genji went silent.

He had been furious.

Then he was back in Jesse’s room in the middle of the night, staring at him until he came over to pick up the pieces of him that shattered as soon as he touched his arm. Stretched so thin it only took a wrong breath to break him. Genji was only pieces of himself anymore, desperately trying to hold on to his humanity while dealing with the traumas that took everything from him. Most of his battles were psychological. Wounds no one could touch or see.

No one but Jesse, when Genji finally, finally let him in. Hesitant, afraid to be hurt again by someone he trusted. But Jesse proved himself. Time and time again, accepting Genji into his arms and mending tiny pieces and what little fractures he could. Better than nothing.

Genji relied on him. Jesse took pride in it, even if he knew it was a bad idea. Took pride in the fact that Genji chose him first, opened up to him first, let him see and experience him first. Someone chose Jesse over anyone else for once in his life. It boiled down to selfishness. Jesse did not like the thought, but it was soothed by the fact that he knew he was in love. That, too, was a horrible idea, but for this, there was nothing he could do to stop or change things. He did not want to.

For all of Genji’s sharp edges and distance, he had softness and understanding hidden beneath it. Held close to his chest, shared with Jesse when he needed care in return. They were all fucked up beyond repair. Sometimes the only solace they had was that the people around them knew and felt it too.

It should have been expected, then, what happened. Jesse had fallen for Genji, others were bound to as well. He was gorgeous and dangerous, worked well with everyone even if he did not say much to them. Had some friends, but kept a safe distance between them.

Some of the other agents apparently did not get the memo.

It had just been training. Reyes grouping them up with sparring partners, purposefully separating him and Genji so they could practice with someone they did not already have memorized by heart. They worked too well together, sometimes. Jesse was given a new recruit—Reyes always trusted him with those, counted on his experience and leadership to train them well, mould them to the team.

Genji was given one of the agents that had been on the top teams for as long as Jesse had been in Blackwatch. She was a beast on the battlefield, had saved Jesse and the rest of his team’s ass single-handedly on more than one occasion. She had thick dark hair pulled back into a long braid, tattoos in lines down her chin and triangles over her forehead. Adlartok was a good match for Genji; easygoing off the battlefield and serious enough to give him a run for his money, definitely a skilled enough partner for sparring.

And she was smiling big, giving him a pat on the shoulder as he walked over. Jesse frowned. No one was allowed to touch but him.

The new agent cleared their throat. Jesse blinked and looked down at them. Caught staring.

“Agent Gris, sir,” they told him, straightening. Military. They must have been on some sort of special ops team before being pulled into Blackwatch.

“Agent McCree, and you don’t have to call me sir. That’s reserved for the big boss,” Jesse grinned, pointing a thumb in Reyes’ direction. Gris nodded, Jesse sliding back into a defensive stance.

“Now show me what you got, kid, and I’ll let him know if you’ve got what it takes.”

“Rules?”

“Just don’t aim for my face or you’ll be doin’ push-ups ‘till you drop.”

“Aye sir—McCree.”

Gris was good enough. Not Genji, no one could ever be Genji in the ring, but they held their own. Got Jesse to sweat. Had his full attention until they moved around enough to where he could see Genji sparing with Adlartok.

She had him in a choke on the ground, legs wrapped over his, arm under his chin. Keeping his weight down, pinning his struggles until he figured out they were useless and he tapped out. Then she was holding out a hand. Genji took it. Jesse stared. Genji took her hand and let himself be pulled up to his feet. He had never let anyone do that before.

There was a moment of confusion, followed quickly by a sharp pang of jealousy. Jesse looked away and shook his head. He was being ridiculous, he should be happy Genji was opening up to others. And it was not as though it meant anything.

Gris started to get the better of him, things that Jesse normally could have avoided easily if he were not so distracted. He had one eye on Gris, the other on Genji. They only worked for another ten minutes before a break was called, Gris panting and Jesse more bruised than usual. He nodded to them, gave a lopsided grin that was only vaguely thrown in their direction.

Distracted, distracted.

Staring at Genji, at Adlartok. The way she was shrugging, arms crossed over her chest and grinning down at Genji. Jesse had never seen her act that way with anyone else. And Genji was letting her. He moved closer, just enough to catch their conversation.

“You’re great, Shimada. Near impossible to take down, solid defense.”

“Thank you.”

“I’d be happy to spar with you again, if you wanted.”

“I would.”

“And hey,” she bumped his shoulder again with hers, Genji glancing up at her, raising a brow. Expressive.

“If you wanted to hang out some more outside of the gym, I’d like that too.”

Adlartok winked, and Jesse felt a surge of heat burn through him. Something not quite foreign but very much potent, making his teeth grind, bitter on the back of his tongue. Instinct and old fears bringing up even older memories. People always taking what was his, and he could do nothing but watch. His mother, his home, his found family, his dreams. Now someone was trying to take Genji from him.

Jesse shoved his way over, stepping between Genji and Adlartok. Pushing two fingers against her chest, pressing hard. She was as tall as him, did not budge an inch. Face going hard and cold.

“Hey. Lay off, you hear? He’s taken.”

"Easy. I'm asking him, not you."

"And I'm tellin' you he's taken. Leave him alone."

“Oh, and are you suddenly the master of him, then? Picking and choosing who he gets to hang out with for him?”

“Of course I ain’t. But I got a problem with you tryin’ to sweet talk your way to somethin’ you ain’t earned.”

“People like to think they have the right to make all your decisions for you, don’t they, Shimada?” Adlartok huffed, clearly not taking Jesse seriously. Her tone grated on him like sandpaper. Haughty and sarcastic. As if she knew anything about Genji at all.

“You better watch what you’re insinuating,” Jesse growled. Really starting to get angry.

“Or what, McCree?” she challenged. Jesse was only stopped from throwing a punch by Genji’s hand on his wrist, his name hissed through the faceplate as a warning.

“Jesse. Stop. She was just being friendly.”

“You don’t know the first thing about him. About us. So why don’t you stop sticking your nose where it ain’t wanted.”

“McCree, I said stop. You are only proving her point,” Genji snapped, Jesse looking down at him, his brows furrowing deeper.

“This is not like you.”

Spoken much softer, only for him to hear. Jesse took a moment to breathe. Let the pounding of blood in his ears die down, the heat in his face, the twitch of his finger, so used to having a gun in hand. Old feelings from old habits, too easy to get a rise out of. Reminding him of his Deadlock days. The thought left a sour taste in his mouth, made shame coil in his gut along with the lingering cloy of jealousy.

“I—You’re right. M’sorry,” he murmured, turning on his heel and leaving the training room. It had just been training. Just a conversation, even if a little too friendly.

Jesse shook his head, going back to his quarters for a smoke he desperately needed. It helped the minute tremble in his hands. The familiar taste of smoke in his mouth, the repetitive motions of inhaling, holding, exhaling. Fresh air on his face, the breeze taking the smoke curling from his lips up and out of sight. Jesse had watched them shake for a few minutes, stretched his fingers and finally draped them over the rail on the balcony.

It should not have been a big deal. Would not have been if he knew any other way to process these things. Anger was an easy fall back. Not one he was particularly proud of, but it hid fear better than anything else did.

It did not take long for Genji to find him, felt his presence behind him more than he heard it. Genji leaned on the railing next to him, faceplate off. Jesse still could not help but stare; beautiful views were meant to be admired.

“Hey.”

“Hey. Gave you some time to cool off. You need more or can we talk?” Genji asked, Jesse smiling a bit. It was the same question he used to ask Genji, back when they had not been so close.

“Nah, I’m good. And I’m sorry, too. I shouldn’t have said those things, gotten so riled up. She wasn’t even doin’ anythin’,” Jesse sighed, waving his hand in a useless little circle. Genji shrugged.

“I get it. She was flirting, surprisingly.”

“Nah, not surprisin’ to me at all, you’re a dream, hon.”

“Then why did you get so upset?”

“I dunno,” Jesse mumbled half-heartedly.

“Jess. Talk to me.”

He pulled more smoke into his mouth, let it sit for a long moment. Genji waited, eyes flicking over his face.

“I just take it personally when people try and take the things I love from me. I’m tired of it, and scared to lose you. That you very well could want someone else and chose to leave me. She was right, you can make your own decisions, and you’ve had enough people doin’ it for you. I ain’t gonna be someone you have to add onto that list. I wouldn’t blame you if you did go, but it’d still break my heart.”

Genji was frowning. Head tilting just a bit to try and catch Jesse’s gaze, which he kept resolutely outwards.

“You really think I’m going to leave you?” he finally asked, Jesse shrugging one shoulder.

“Everyone does, sooner or later.”

“Look at me.”

Jesse chewed on the end of the cigarillo, fingers flexing again before he turned to Genji. Meeting his steady gaze, that rare show of softness.

“I am not going anywhere. My whole life has been nothing but people telling me what to do and who to be, then forcing it when I said no. But no one told me to chose you, Jesse. I did that on my own, and it is not something I have ever regretted.”

Jesse stared at him, quiet, letting the words sink in. Genji reached out, wrapped his pinky around Jesse’s gloved one.

“It is difficult for me to describe what I want to, but. Does that...Make sense?”

The cigarillo was dropped and stubbed out under Jesse’s boot, eyes dropping as he stepped closer to Genji. Wrapped him up in his arms, feeling a squeeze in return, Genji pressing his nose into Jesse’s shoulder.

“Yeah. Yeah, it makes sense. I really am sorry.”

“I know. I am not mad.”

“Alright.”

“I don’t say it enough, but I love you.”

Jesse closed his eyes, nodding just a bit, nose buried in Genji’s hair. It was soft, tickled against his lips.

“Love you too, darlin’...Thank you.”

Genji hummed, pulled back and tugged at Jesse’s tank top absently.

“Reyes was not happy you left. You’re going to have to run laps.”

“Yeah, figured,” Jesse grumbled, rubbing at the back of his neck. He sighed, shoulders scrunching up tight before he relaxed them again, hands going into his pockets.

“Guess I better get it over with then, huh?”

“I have to see Angela for some testing, but I’ll cheer you on in spirit.”

“Why thank you.”

Genji gave a little smile just before putting his faceplate back into place, the mechanics clicking quietly when it connected. It still made Jesse’s heart flutter. They walked back into the base in a comfortable silence, Jesse taking the turn towards the training gyms with a wave to Genji.

“See you tonight, hon.”

“Do not run in your boots.”

“Come on, it’s a talent and you know it!”

Genji shook his head, waving him off. “See you tonight,” he called, the words warm.

Jesse huffed a laugh that faded quickly when he turned the corner. Rubbed at his arm, wondering how long it would take Genji to realize what everyone else eventually did. Hopefully not for a while. He was special.

Jesse wanted just a little longer.

[cienie-isengardu]

The development of Law’s relationship with Zoro - Part 4: Dressrosa, The Breaking Point (Aftermath)

<<Part I: Before Meeting>> <<Part II: Sabaody Archipelago, The First Meeting>> <<Part III: Punk Hazard, The Alliance (A)>> <<Part III: Punk Hazard, The Alliance (B)>>  <<Part IV: Dressrosa, The Breaking Point (The Plan Failed)__ (Saving Law)__(Protecting Law)__ (Birdcage, Pica and Doflamingo)__ (Aftermath)>>

Even though admiral Issho alongside with his men officially apologized to King Riku and the citizens, the king made sure the “outlaws” were hidden from marines. Straw Hats, Law, Bellamy and Kyros ended sheltered in Kyros’s home where he once lived with Scarlet and little Rebecca. First time in a long time, the allied pirates were together again. In the night, Sabo visited the house, but beside Zoro, Franky and Robin, everyone was sleeping. The four had a talk about Sabo’s past and the best time to leave Dressrosa before marines will attack them.

Law’s sleep position was much more relaxed and open than the one from the beginning of Dressrosa arc (chapter 794).  Maybe it was just the result of total exhaustion and injuries or maybe Law, after so long of stressing and worrying, finally could relax knowing that A) Doflamingo was in marine custody thus no longer a threat and B) he was safe around Straw Hats.

The available room was small but Law could choose any spot to sleep. Instead, he was shown lying close to drinking Zoro (by frame layout alone, again in between Roronoa and sleeping on bed Luffy, this time without any danger around). Zoro most likely planned to stay awake through the whole night for security measures (he has this habit of sleeping just 3 hours per night after all) and taught by experience, Law didn’t have any reason to doubt that if attacked, the swordsman would protect him, the same as he did during battle. 

Law didn’t even bother to pretend he was cautious or wary, he simply slept, trusting allies to take care of their safety.

With Zoro, Franky and Robin being the only one awake, there is a high probability they talked about the latest events. How their fights went, what they learned, what to focus on, what to watch out for in the future with angered Kaido as the next goal on alliance’s list. It’s hard to tell for sure if Robin told others about Law’s choice to stay behind and whether in victory or death, share Luffy’s fate. On one hand, it was a choice made under strong emotions, trauma and even the feel of responsibility for Straw Hat’s wellbeing. A choice made because of very personal matters. On second hand, exactly because it happened under such pressure it was the most sincere side of Law Robin had a chance to see for herself. She and Zoro are the least trusting members of the crew and that night was the best moment to discuss in detail what happened and in the process dispel any remaining doubts about Law as their ally. Both saw his determination and fighting spirit, knew he saved their crew members and kept Luffy out of harm's way despite his own injuries and finally, both had some understanding of Law’s hidden goal in Doffy’s destruction. They may not know the whole truth, just the nature of it, but that was enough because Trafalgar did not betray them. And well, he had the suicide feel about himself what could raise some concerns about him too. 

I personally think such talk could happen that night, when memories of battle were still fresh in their mind and everyone out cold beside the three of them. The exchange of information could be another reason for the change in Zoro’s behaviour.

For the three days, the Straw Hat-Heart alliance was left in peace by marines. Once again Law was exposed to Luffy’s antics but this time Zoro acted in a more open way, even showing his more usual irritation at other people’s odd behaviour, including his own captain:

Interestingly, there is a visible shift in the arrangement of characters positions - during battle it was usually Zoro-Luffy-Law and the dynamic changed mainly in face of danger. Now with upcoming frames somehow Law was put more often in the middle between the other Supernovas. Even though Trafalgar still kept some tangible distance from others, judging by their (not so strictly stoic anymore) behaviour, it seems like he and Zoro were now more comfortable around each other.

Then the navy finally made its move against pirates. Unlike Usopp, Zoro and Law didn’t show any distress. Bartolomeo and other fighters prepared themselves for such an occasion by securing for Luffy’s group a safe escape route. Instead of running away with his friends, Luffy decided to visit Rebecca - now a princess - and confront her about her family matters. 

Zoro reminded Luffy they don’t have time, so he better get it done quick while the rest will wait in eastern port...

and then again, run in the wrong direction.

At this point, Law may have a good suspicion about Zoro’s no sense of orientation (chapter 797). And who knows, maybe he ran alongside Zoro (on picture below, behind Kinemon and Robin), to make sure the infamous Pirate Hunter did not wander unexpectedly somewhere else… that, or both planned to linger behind and secure the group retreat.

The fellow fighters came to their aid, keeping marines far away from Straw Hats. At the same time, Law disappeared without a word, to find and confront recently arrived on the island Sengoku (unless he did mention his intention to Zoro, while they ran side by side??). Frankly, the manga did not provide the reaction of Zoro nor any other member of Straw Hat crew to Law’s disappearance, so it’s impossible to say if they were worried about him or simply trusted in his strength to return on his own on time.

Meeting with Sengoku was one of the most important breaking points for Law. As it turned out, the former fleet admiral treated Donquixote Rosinante - Law’s savior - as a son. And for thirteen years did not understand why his beloved son didn’t follow the order to stay away from Minion Island. 

“One day… a soldier I knew died. He was someone I cared about, someone who meant something to me. I took him in as a boy… and treated him like a son… He was as honest and upright a person as I ever knew… and a valuable, trustworthy subordinate. But there was one time, just once in his life, that he lied to me. I had been betrayed… but there must have been a reason for it. Four things disappeared in the chaos of that fateful day. The Barrels Pirates, the life of my subordinate, the Ope-Ope fruit… and a boy with White Lead disease who was with the Donquixote Family at the time.”

Law admitted he was the boy and confirmed that Rosinante left his post and died because of him. Admitted also he didn’t know if the way he lived was what Cora wanted.

First time in 13 years, Law was assured that there wasn’t any hidden goal in Cora’s decision to save him. The man saw a dying, hurt child with the spark of his brother’s madness and decided Law was worth loving and dying for. It was unconditional love, without any “if” or “but”. The “D.” name and the usefulness of Ope Ope no Mi did not matter. Even stopping Doflamingo meant then little. The only thing Rosinante wanted was to save Law and make him finally free. Sengoku literally told Law to not “attach a reason to the love you’ve received”. 

Apparently, english “I love you” does not carry the whole meaning of the original phrase “Aishiteruze (愛してるぜ)”. Rosinante’s declaration was along the “I can’t live without you” level of loving someone (x). Now, after so many years of hiding from Donquixote Pirates, planning and scheming and living just to kill Cora’s murderer, Law finally understood the depths of Rosinante’s love. The breaking point is that: Law at last knows (accepts) he was unconditionally loved and now, is free from Doflamingo for good. He can allow himself to finally live without doubts and regrets the way he wants, without a sense of failing some unknown to him expectations. And I think, to some degree, it is the reason why Law’s secretive / introverted behavior changed into a more open, relaxed act around Zoro and Straw Hats. Because he finally could relax, be comfortable with himself. 

Due to danger from admiral Issho, Law couldn’t spend more time with Sengoku and had to run to the rendezvous point. Surprising, no Straw Hats waited for him (in the sense, weren’t shown in the frame). Even more surprising is the lack of Zoro between former colosseum fighters in the frontline of the fight. Anyway, Luffy showed up soon after Law but instead of dodging the blind admiral, attacked him. Because to be Pirate King he must face everyone: Warlords, Admirals and Emperors and beat them down.

Zoro in general agreed with Luffy’s reasoning (chapter 799) but did not exactly understand the way Luffy fought against Issho, telling his blind opponent what kind of attack he was going to use. The admiral himself was very surprised by that too, but ultimately accepted and even respected Luffy’s weirdness. In the end, Issho managed to send Luffy flying - what happened to be a favorable circumstance for allied fighters. They catched Luffy and despite Straw Hat’s protest, dragged him to safety. Zoro was happy about that too, but for a different reason - he wanted to take Luffy’s place to fight with a powerful enemy. Bartolomeo thankfully managed to stop the battle-lusting warrior.

Law’s reaction to that event wasn’t shown but once again he had a chance to see Zoro’s insanity when it came to fighting a strong enemy. Zoro and Luffy in that regard were very similar to each other. 

Straw Hats-Heart alliance finally got on ship, the Yanta Maria and with the help of people of Dressrosa (who under the pretext of chasing the pirates away, were actually protecting them from the admiral's deadly attack), the alliance sailed away safely. 

Zoro and Law's reaction to Yanta Maria was visibly distinctive from pleasant shock of others (open jaws). Zoro smiled, Law, judging by the frown, looked unimpressive. Both their reactions were more quiet and toned down.

On the ship, Bartolomeo and fellow fighters asked Luffy to drink with them “cups of Father and Sons”, to officially accept them as his underlings.

Luffy of course refused, because he A) didn’t like alcohol and B) didn’t want to be captain of such a big fleet. Zoro warned his allies they wasted time trying to change Straw Hat’s mind (and to just give the sake to him). Yet the fighters were ready to force Luffy into accepting the drink. Further Luffy’s explanation only confused everyone (beside Straw Hats) even more. Including Law.

And then Law’s attention immediately turned to Zoro, who, taking advantage of the opportunity, started drinking sake from Luffy’s cup to Usopp’s displeasure.

Finally, Luffy managed to explain his reasoning:

“If I ever think we’re in trouble… I’ll shout for your help. Then you can come save us! I don’t have to be a boss or a great pirate, right?!  If you’re in trouble, call for us!! We’ll come and help you!!! I won’t forget about how we fought Mingo together!!

And the Seven Leaders admired and accepted Straw Hat’s decision. But since Luffy was all about freedom, they simply followed his example. Whether Luffy liked it or not, they decided on their own to make him their boss.

Law thus witnessed the founding of the Great Fleet of Straw Hats. And yet, somehow it looked like he was more interested in Zoro’s drinking sake behind Luffy’s back.

When party started, everyone celebrated their great victory (chapter 800):

Luffy, like always, was in the centre of everything. Law, though smiling, kept his distance from Zoro and other partying people. But soon after that Law’s personal space was invaded by Zoro.

The anime expanded this little moment, first showing Zoro approaching Law sitting alone, asking to join the rest. And then, ignoring any protests, just threw his arm around the other man’s neck. Law’s face spoke how much he minded such treatment and had no dignity about that:

During parties, Zoro always spent his time sharing alcohol with people who fought side by side with him (Paulie, Water 7/Enies Lobby) or actually were his opponents (Braham, Skypiea). Zoro didn’t have a habit of forcing people to drink with him or asking (introverted) person who clearly wanted to be alone to join the bigger group. He himself rarely joined larger groups and usually just sat somewhere far from the noise with a few people around. So, Zoro most likely understood Law's isolation since he used to do so himself. Here though he was the one invading Law’s personal space and not giving a damn if the man was happy about it or not. On second thought, if Law didn’t want to join the others, it made sense for Zoro to join him. In a sense, it could be Zoro’s way to break the ice between them. What is even more interesting, considering the palpate distance he kept from Law at the beginning of the story. The second important detail - Law could easily get out of that situation by using Ope Ope no Mi powers. A simple switch of the places and he would be free for good. Yet Law remained, despite how awkward and/or outside of his comfort zone it was.

We may only wonder what made Zoro act in such an uncommon way. Was that respect for Law forged in the heat of battle? Did it bother him that Law after everything was done, still isolated himself? Did it look like Law felt discomfort to be around people he barely knew or interacted with and who all pledged loyalty only to Straw Hats, thus Zoro decided to keep him company? 

Zoro initiating physical contact in itself is an uncommon occurrence. Because as much as Straw Hats pirates  can - and will - invade Zoro’s personal space, Roronoa is not exactly the  type of person open to such contact. Once again, the shift between the beginning (visible distancing) and ending (invading Law’s personal space) of the Dressrosa arc is tangible. Somehow between one and the other, breaking point in Law and Zoro’s relationship happened and changed for good their dynamic. What was seen day(?) after the party (chapter 801):

Law and Zoro sat close to each other, the previous distance gone. Zoro was reading newspapers, indifferent to his surroundings - instead of facing and observing the Heart captain, like he used to do at the beginning. Both men looked like they were comfortable around each other, even despite - or maybe, because of - the shared (forced?) drink. The change in Zoro’s behaviour is diametrical.

Like was said at the beginning, Dressrosa Arc is one big breaking point. It changed the status quo of pirate alliance and Luffy’s position, from rookie pirate to leader of a powerful fleet. It will lead to the complete dissolution of the Shichibukai system and for good push the main hero into collision with Emperors. For Law alone, Dressrosa was like opening old, still not healed wounds but also so needed a moment of catharsis. He was ready to die there, but was saved time after time by allies. In a sense, it was the final test of how strong the alliance was before facing angry Kaido.

Law changed a lot through the course of action. Or maybe not really changed, but like allowed himself to show hidden emotions and trauma. The cold-blooded, scheming pirate who planned to use Straw Hats crew (and spare his own) turned out to be a man willing to sacrifice himself to finish what his savior started but couldn’t do himself. Who came to believe in Straw Hats, as the ones who made miracles happen. Not only Luffy, but the crew as a whole. 

The same as Zoro finally saw Law in hopeless, awkward, sometimes outright humiliating situations (anime extension), Law’s impression of Roronoa cracked too. No sense of direction, insanity to laugh at the dangerous enemy and enjoying the thrill of fight, the fondness of alcohol -- all of this created anew image. This time more flawed but at the same time, more real, human. Despite the flaws and awkwardness of previous situations, both proved to be strong-willed, cool-headed warriors one may rely on in difficult times. Zoro stretched out his hand to him, broke the ice, abandoned the distrust that distanced them for a long time. It seems like Law was finally fully accepted by Roronoa and all unsaid things between them settled down for good. 

At the same time, the arc showed their similarities. Both were the quiet ones, the type of people who kept distance from others. The ones with pragmatic thinking in contrast to Luffy’s chaotic madness. Zoro for sure was a helpful presence during running from enemies and meeting a weird fighter after another, especially since he did try to keep his captain in check. That it didn’t work for a long time is a different matter.

Anyway, looking at the beginning and end of Dressrosa arc, there is a visible change in how Zoro and Law acted around each other. How the neutrality changed into something more comfortable.

Here comes things worth examining a bit more. 

↪ The Seven Leaders pledged loyalty only to Straw Hat Pirates. As long as alliance between Luffy and Law will work, this is not a big issue and to take down all Emperors, every additional help was good. But if ever those two pirate crews will fall apart, Luffy literally just gained a powerful fleet, thus has advantage over rival captain.

↪ Straw Hats & Heart captain worked together to take down Doflamingo. Luffy of course was the one that finished the enemy, but overall, Luffy’s victory was a result of teamwork between pirates, colosseum fighters, marines and common people. As much as Trafalgar Law was well known as the Shichibukai, Luffy and Zoro were in fact the ones that made the biggest impression on people (colosseum fight, defeating Doffy & destroying Pica) and actually interacted during battle with other fighters. Frankly, both showed their charismatic nature that made people believe in and follow them. Luffy became the hope of the whole country. Zoro was the spark that united people to stop the birdcage and brought Luffy the needed time to recover. Law is powerful and has a reputation and knows how to deal with different people to get what he wants, but he is not really good at interhuman relationships in general. Luffy gains friends on the left and right. Zoro, despite being asocial, rude and introverted person, has the impressive air about himself that often makes him look like the coolest person who is not afraid to challenge everything and everyone; for whom impossible does not exist (destruction of Pica, stopping birdcage). Law… kinda lacks in that department. 

↪ Because of the made impression on other fighters, there is a big chance Law may have heard some retelling of the events during the party. Luffy and Zoro aren’t men who brag about their exploits, but Bartolomeo and his companions had a lot to share about battle. With so much alcohol and so many strong individuals that were very impressed by Straw Hats deeds, it seems logical that tales of battle would sooner than later be told. Especially by devoted fans like Bartolomeo. Zoro’s daring plan to defeat Pica and stop Birdcage could be recalled by those fighters who saw it themselves, filling Law with missing fragments of the battle.

↪ Frankly, shonen mangas have this one upside down that the final boss must be defeated by the main hero. Which means that characters who actually could do something useful (damaging) to the enemy are pushed to the sideline. Like Robin, who can snap a person's neck from far away thanks to Hana Hana no Mi. Or Zoro, who could join the other Supernovas in their fight against Doffy (either before Law’s threatening injury or after, instead of stopping the birdcage). Or dwarf princess could heal Luffy for a few minutes to finish Mingo once and for good. It’s not exactly a complaint, because it's the standard formula of One Piece story, but because of such, Law and Zoro were pushed into the background, for Luffy to shine. For most of the arc, Luffy was the main figure in the dynamic of Supernova Trio. They did not interact much in words, but the layout of frames - the character position and background activities - created the feeling of the slowly forming bond between Zoro and Law. Now, after Doffy’s defeat, there is a shift next to whom Trafalgar sticks (Zoro) and Luffy is unnecessary for them to interact on their own.

↪ Law didn’t care how high was the newest reward for his head. In contrast, Zoro was pleased to learn his own increased a lot. Even asked for alcohol to celebrate. What could turn into another moment of  Zoro dragging Law into drinking.

↪ The last detail (though I’m afraid it may vary from one translation to another) is the way Law addressed his allies. Luffy usually was the Straw Hat-ya. The girls were titled as Nami-ya and Nico-ya. Usopp as Nose-ya, Sanji as Black Leg-ya, Chopper as Tony-ya. Unless I missed it, I don’t think Law addressed Zoro directly to use either his name or made up nickname. They really didn’t talk much throughout the course of the story. There is a chance it happened after freeing Dressrosa - either during the three days when everyone waited for Luffy to wake up or during the party, once alcohol was shared. Zoro, depending on translation, called him either Law or Traffy (or similar form of the nickname).

With the chapter 802, the Dressrosa arc can be considered closed. Now, the Straw Hats-Heart pirate alliance sail to meet their missing crewmembers and to prepare for the fight with angry Kaido. How truly comfortable Law and Zoro became around each other will show the next place: Zou.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY team impact anon. Thank you for answering my asks! I did want to follow up with one quick question. Does RWBY actually represent anyone? Nobody appointed/elected them. Blake is a princess bc she's Ghira's kid and that's it. IW has a commissioned duty. RWBY doesn't seem to have a legal right to make decisions for Solitas...let alone withhold information from IW that could impact the continent's defense. I'm confused why these kids are the protagonists? Has CRBWY done enough to justify that?

Of course! :D

I touched on this briefly many months back and as far as I can tell, no, the show hasn’t done a particularly good job of answering that question: Why are these people our protagonists? What gives them the power to get involved? Usually stories—particularly fantasy stories—provide clear-cut answers so that we can best immerse ourselves in this situation, rather than continually questioning why this group, out of all groups, is the one we get to follow. The two most common explanations are: 

This group has to fight whether they want to or not. Meaning, some outside force is exerting control over them. They’re stuck in the center of this fight whether they like it or not and thus we, in turn, are stuck with them as our protagonists. Think Harry Potter with a prophecy hanging over his head. Luke being born as a Skywalker. Geralt forced into a witcher’s life with a destiny to juggle. These characters are all bound to something larger than themselves and are, to one extent or another, carried along on the current of that. They have to fight. (“Have” — often overcoming the internal conflict of whether they’ll agree to this unwanted responsibility adds to their heroism. They COULD just run for the hills like Ozpin with his cabin, but they won’t). 

RWBY, however, undermines this sort of setup at every turn. Our characters continually reject responsibilities that may have led them to being a part of other fights—Blake leaves the White Fang despite her parentage and life-long involvement in it, Weiss walks about from the SDC despite being born as an heir and wanting to improve the company—and the closest thing we get to fate is with Ruby’s silver eyes. However, that was likewise undermined when Maria came onto the scene. Rather than presenting us with a world where silver eyes are either unique or rare enough that Ruby feels compelled to fight Salem even if she doesn’t otherwise want to, they gave us a character with the same skill, even more talent (if Maria’s moniker as The Grimm Reaper is any indication) who then said no thanks. She left. Bowed out. So what’s stopping Ruby from doing the same? Nothing. She could pull a Maria and be done with this nonsense and the world would continue surviving as it has for over a thousand years (with the exception of Salem’s new involvement, but again, we don’t see Ruby deciding to fight because Salem is now a more active threat). Ruby is not at the center of the world’s safety and there is no other outside force acting on the group to a point where the audience feels that their involvement in the fight is unquestionably necessary. We might have gotten that if the story had spent more time developing Ruby’s silver eyes. We might have gotten that if the story had spent more time establishing that if Ruby were to bow out, she and her friends would still be endlessly hunted by Salem (AKA, if she wants any kind of life, Salem has to be defeated first). We might have gotten that if the silver eyes/other talents were presented as lynchpins, etc. As it is, RWBY keeps providing examples of how heroes can leave, do leave, have every reason to leave, because they’re not the most talented, their powers are not unique, not necessary, there is nothing in the universe saying YOU have to be a part of this fight... so why are they? 

This leaves us with heroes who fight because it’s the right thing to do. Think Frodo saying he’ll take the ring to Mordor. Katniss stepping in to save her sister. Peter Quill yelling that he’s going to try to save the universe because he’s one of the assholes who lives in it. There’s nothing like destiny, a prophecy, or an inborn talent forcing (“forcing”) the hero to step up, they just do it because it’s the right thing to do and/or they realize that no one is able or willing to help. They and others might both assume they’re not be the best for the job (insert theme of underestimating Hobbits here), but they’re doing it anyway. They’re all that’s available. 

Similar to the above, Ruby could fit really well into this setup. She’s just a kid, she’s talented but she’s barely trained, she knows nothing about magic or this intricate war... surely there’s someone better to take her place? But Ruby wants to help people, which means she’s poised to step up if that’s required of her... but RWBY failed to create those circumstances. Ozpin is not an inept or corrupt leader who she must replace — he created a time of peace and kept the relics safe for who knows how long. Ruby does not live in a world where others refuse to step up — she’s surrounded by talented fighters who are already involved in this war. Ruby doesn’t even live in a world where she fights alongside these more talented and informed fighters — by the end of each volume she’s replaced them as the “real” hero. When someone asks, “Why is the screw up group of convicts trying to save the world in Guardians of the Galaxy?” the answer is, “Because no one else is doing it. The world has to take what it gets.” With RWBY it’s, “Why is the group of second year students, traumatized from a recent battle, going off to find a Maiden they definitely can’t beat?” and the answer is, “Because... they want to? There are other older, more powerful, more informed people dealing with this situation already but Ruby’s group is going off regardless.” “Why is RWBYJNR at the center of this fight now? Have they proven themselves some way? Is there no one else?” “Well no, not exactly. They just showed up at Ozpin’s safehouse expecting to be involved, they definitely provided much needed support at the Haven battle, but then they created circumstances where they were at the center of things regardless of whether others approved of that: stealing Ozpin’s secrets, driving him off, lying to Ironwood, etc.” Then, because the story hasn’t successfully laid out why they have to fight or why others would want them to fight (they often don’t), we get the plot turning in on itself to explain their continued involvement. Like refusing to grapple with their recent behavior. Or having them suddenly able to beat the Ace Ops. 

RWBY’s underlying reasoning for why this group is at the center of this plot is “Because they’re the protagonists” which is a circular explanation. You should craft protagonists that have a reason to be involved, not ignore the lack of a reason for the generic protagonists you’ve got. And don’t get me wrong, RWBY has lots and lots of nods towards various reasons, but they’re never well developed. Things like Ruby’s eyes, her “I want to help people,” the others’ devotion to her, the villains’ interest in them... they’re all the beginnings of compelling explanations, but RWBY never does much of anything with it, largely because we haven’t gotten enough of a look into the group’s personal motivations. Why is Ruby so compelled to throw herself into a war? Because of her mom? That’s never said. Why is Jaune? Because Cinder killed Pyrrha? Then why isn’t he trying to hunt her down? Why is Yang? Because she’s Ruby’s sister? Give us better motivation for Ruby then. And so on and so forth. This is particularly important post the lore episode because the group learned about Salem’s immortality and came to the unanimous conclusion that this war was impossible to win. So why are you still in it?? Volume 6 and 7 should have been an exploration of why they’re fighting, what they’re fighting for, and what they can bring to the table. Instead they happily ignore all of it until Salem and her subordinates get right in their face, then Ruby took control of the situation despite the story failing to establish why she wants to, let alone why she should. 

When we have characters like Ironwood and the Ace Ops trying to stop her and the takeaway is supposed to be “Omg how could they stand against Ruby they’re evil!” ... I just find myself agreeing. Ruby is a teenager. Ruby has one year of formal training. Ruby has thus far rejected or screwed over everyone she’s allied herself with (outside of the group who has agreed to follow her). Ruby has a very useful skill, but does incredibly little to learn about it or train it. Regarding the question, “Should Ruby be the hero we follow?” we’re shown a number of things that give a resounding “No.” She’s the protagonist because her name is in the title, not RWBY has convincingly written a world where her help is necessary or, at this point, even desired. She runs off to nearly get kidnapped, orchestrates an attack on the Argus military that results in a Leviathan grimm showing up, emotionally cripples the world’s oldest defender, undermines and betrays his replacement, and is now risking two relics/a Maiden by hanging around to fight Salem head on. At this point it doesn’t matter how pure her intentions are, Ruby’s actions have been inconvenient at best and downright damaging at worst. Though they clearly don’t intend it, RT is closer to writing antagonists then protagonists. Outside of their pure “We want to help people” outlook, we’ve got this group shouldering their way into this war and, more often than not, making things a whole lot worse. If the story had done a better job of explaining their involvement, such mistakes would be quiet sympathetic, but as it is their insistence on getting involved reads more as arrogance rather than resignation/drive: I have to help. There’s no one else. I’m needed. 

[justjessame]

Babysitting Butcher Chapter 1

“Are you fucking joking?” My eyes were wide, and I normally held back the profanity while speaking to my supervisors, but for fuck’s sake, she had to be pulling a prank on me. Not that the tightly wound woman in front of me was known for her sense of humor, but this? This had to be a fucking joke.

Tight bun, so tight in fact that she looked like her face was taut from the pull of it, perfectly tailored suit, and heels that were functional and prim. She’d replaced Susan Raynor, our former deputy director after her untimely demise (is that what we were calling her being the first victim of the notorious head popper?). And, if I were being honest, which I also refrained from in front of this particular supervisor, she was falling short of the shoes she was supposed to fill. Luckily, she was ACTING deputy director, so she wasn’t necessarily a permanent annoyance.

Her lips were a thin line of clear irritation. Her eyes were flashing with the very obvious thought that she couldn’t believe that I would dare question her authority. Dear God, she was already letting her pseudo power run wild in her fucking head.

“I can assure you, Officer Taylor, I am NOT joking.” Her nostrils flared and I had to fight rolling my eyes. “Or do you prefer Dr. Taylor? I can never quite tell with you.”

“Either is fine,” I bit out, wondering if I could argue against the assignment all the way to the top. I nearly sighed when I realized that it probably came from the tipity fucking top. “Is this because of the report I complied when-”

“When they were considered domestic terrorists?” She sighed and sat down, gesturing to a chair in front of her desk for me to sit as well. “It made selecting you easier, yes.” I fucking knew it. “You were correct, after all, they weren’t in the wrong.” I know, and so did Raynor, the woman who had me dig through their pasts and prove that they weren’t who the world assumed they were, even if she died before we were both proven right. “Grace Mallory wants you for this role, Dr. Taylor.” She was testing out my real title, but it felt wrong to her as well, I could tell. “You know who that is correct?” I did roll my eyes at that. Everyone within the agency knew who Grace Mallory was. “She has a great deal of pull and she requested you, so-”

“I have no choice.” I muttered. “And I’ll be on babysitting duty for how long?”

She smiled at me, almost indulgently, almost. “Come now, Taylor, you’ll be in the new pride and joy that is the Office of Supe Affairs.” I sighed, and she shook her head. “I don’t know how long you’ll be their liaison,” ah, a new title that was supposed to appease me, I guessed. “I only know that you WILL be.” With that, I was handed a new keycard badge, a clutch of files, and a handful of contact information. “The office is located at the address on the top page, your office is ready and waiting, and I wish you well.” She refocused her attention on the other stacks of files on her desk and I knew I was dismissed. Fuck.

 As I drove to my new building, my new office, my new duties, I was remembering when Deputy Director Raynor had come to me for the first time. She wanted me to understand that what she was asking was something that could not be shared with anyone else in the agency until she felt it was time. Handing me the bare minimal information on the men at the root of a manhunt. Calling them terrorists, saying they were at fault for all manner of crimes, she told me to utilize the talents that had gotten me into the bureau, and ignore the obvious confirmation bias that would usually taint such an assignment.

I’d worked on it for hours, then days, finding out more about William Butcher, Marvin T. Milk, Serge, and the oddball out Hugh Campbell Jr. I learned of the losses suffered at the hands of supes in the cases of Butcher and Hughie. I found out about Mother’s Milk’s father’s attempt to hold Vought accountable and dying young. And as for Serge, otherwise known as Frenchie, his upbringing was more difficult to piece together, but what I found had painted a bleak picture. Vigilantes? Probably. Terrorists? Hardly. I wrote the report, not knowing that the four had added a fifth, not that the knowledge would have helped with what I already had, and then learned that Starlight, the newest member of the Seven was suspected as well.

After the death of Raynor, after the fall of Stormfront and the admission by Vought that she had been the culprit all along, The Boys, as they were being called, were vindicated. I knew that William Butcher had truly lost his wife in the quest for this, and I knew that would make him far more volatile than he ever had been. The others? I hadn’t had a moment to spare, knowing that the majority of this new “role” for me would be making sure that Butcher was reigned in. Kept on task and on the goals of the new “office”. And I knew I’d have my work cut out for me, if the file I’d composed was even halfway correct, William Butcher was an untamable horse. Or worse yet, a hurricane waiting to unleash itself on the entire supe race.

 The building was sparse, as all government buildings seemed to be. Since it was so new to the world, the “Office of Supe Affairs” seemed far more sparse than normal. Not a fucking ounce of character in the entire fucking structure. No landscaping, although to be honest I wasn’t sure how the building maintenance would even try it, concrete as far as the eye could see, coupled with one way glass that mirrored the street traffic and parking lot, depending on which side you came into it from.

Using my new keyfob badge to get into the parking area, and then again to get into the building, I smiled at the single receptionist at the high front desk.

“Dr. Taylor?” He asked. I nodded, and he came around to show me to my office, pointing out other areas I might need while at work. “Here we are,” he indicated the same security pad for me to fob myself in, and once I did, he opened the door. “You were given the office with the best view,” I could see that my ‘view’ was the back alley, but I imagined he meant the skyline when he mentioned my view. “Laptop, printer, phone.” He pointed them out as though I couldn’t give myself the fucking tour. “If you need anything, just hit ‘1’ on the phone and it’ll come straight to me. The other extensions are laid out in the book you’ll find in the top left desk drawer. By the way, I’m Anthony,” he extended his hand and I shook it after I juggled my far too heavy messenger bag and keyfob badge into my other hand. “Good luck.” And with that ominous offer, he shut the door behind himself and I let go of the loud dramatic sigh that I’d felt building since standing inside of our acting deputy director’s office.

 I was reading through the files when my desk phone rang. Absently picking it up, I answered with my standard greeting and heard Grace Mallory’s voice reply.

“Ah, good, you’re in already. I’ll be by in a few minutes, I think we should talk about what’s expected of you, Dr. Taylor.” I agreed, replacing the handset and thinking how easily the receptionist and Mallory had taken to the first title I’d earned in my life. No hesitation, no confusion, just ‘Dr. Taylor’. I wished everyone found it so simple.

Grace Mallory had full reign over the offices, as she proved when she keyed herself into mine. I looked up and smiled. The older woman, mentioned in my research on the others, was easy to read. She took one of the chairs in front of my new desk. I closed the file I’d been going over before she’d come in, and waited.

Rueful smile playing on her lips, eyes shrewd, she took her time studying me. “You’re not excited that I asked for you to be here.” I didn’t feel the need to answer, since it wasn’t a question. “I read what you compiled on them, I still have access to certain parts of the agency.” Again, not a question. “I wanted you to act as the liaison because you saw through it. The image that everyone else saw, or thought they saw with them.” Him, I could see she meant, the others were important certainly, but I was obviously here to reign in only one. “You don’t get intimidated easily, that I learned from YOUR file.” I was guessing she meant the few times I’d bucked up against what was clearly the wrong tactic or wrong idea being forced on me and my fellow officers by our superiors. “You’ve also done this before.” Damn it, fuck my experience with that fucking black ops group that I had to rehabilitate after their fall from grace in Bolivia. “I’m more than sure that you’re the best person for this job.”

She outlined it. I was the go between, since Raynor was no longer at the CIA to grease the wheels so to speak, I was to act as the person to keep the agency in the loop of progress or planned operations. And, before she left, she finally admitted that my REAL job was to make sure that William Butcher didn’t go off the rails to the point that the entire operation would go ass over tits.

“The appeal of having you oversee this, Dr. Taylor, isn’t simply that you did those profiles on them that was the first to question the validity of the charges against them, but that you have a background in-” She paused to consider what she wanted to say. “You’re a psychologist. That, coupled with your experience with the other team you pulled through, well you can see why I had to insist you fill this role.”

“I understand that you think I’m the logical choice,” I closed my eyes, wondering just how I could explain to her that I felt wrong for the work that she wanted me to undertake. “I just don’t think that I-”

“That you’re the person who can keep him even keeled?” Opening my eyes I saw that she was standing and smiling down at me. “Just because no one else seems capable, Dr. Taylor, doesn’t mean that no one is.” With that parting shot, she too wished me well, and then left my office.

Biting my lip, I reopened the file I’d left off on while Grace Mallory had given me her expectations. I hoped like hell that she was right, because there were times that William Butcher, and like dominoes his team, caused far more fucking chaos than they stopped.