#but hey what do I know this literally isn't a situation I've ever found myself in because my older siblings treat me like an adult

[rainybraindays]

No but the obsession with Colin's theoretical sex life is crazy to me.

Like people are genuinely upset that he could have potentially had sex?? Shaming him for doing something we know hes been mocked about for not doing? Like we see Anthony accuse him of only trying to marry because hes a virgin, you all remember that right? His older brother sees him pursuing a relationship, something he would have noticed earlier if he hadn't been so single minded the entire time, and instead of offering any like useful advice immediately goes and throws that in his face.

If he wanted to have sex just so it couldn't be used against him ever again I wouldn't be surprised. If he did that's fine, and if he doesn't thats literally also fine.

Like maybe its the fact that I also see a lot of people who talk about him needing to be a virgin talk about him being nerodivergent, so it seems kinda infantlizing to me, especially mixed in with the need to portray him like hes stupid but this rubs me so wrong.

Its literally a non-issue why are some of you so hard up on this.

[indecenthoney]

"The Munchies"

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Have you ever had that one friend who acts like a completely different person after consuming alcohol? I sort of do. She's a tad bit on the shy side. Up until you present her with some candy. Her eyes would literally glow up at the sight. Not to mention, she becomes the clingiest, most loveable thing. I may be to blame for encouraging such behaviors, but how could I not? I could never ever get another reaction out of her if I wanted to. Completely deadpan, with a cold demeanor. It's enough to break a man's heart. Which brings me to my current situation. I may have a little crush on her. Or well a relatively big one. I've been meaning to ask her out in a good mood, but as I mentioned I could never really get that reaction. I wanted to find some way to help her relax a bit without needing the candies. I don't know. I wanted her to like me for me, you know?

"Hey... How long are you going to be working on that? It wouldn't kill you to take a break, you know? Uhuh... Dude! Let's hang out... This project isn't due till what... Two weeks from now... We can totally take our time... We're already halfway through... So let's go play something! Me? What does it look like I'm doing? I'm hugging you... I'm not going to stop hugging you until you follow me to play video games... I know you hate it... That's why I'm hugging you, silly... Either way, it's a win-win for me... Aw... and here I thought I'd get to hug you for an hour or two? Good choice... C'mon, I'll show you to my room..."

On my way to my room, I found her eye-ing out my kitchen. It was pretty obvious what her intentions were. I wasn't really sure either what snacks I had lying around in there, but I sent her off to my room to choose a game while I scrounged around for something for her to eat.

"Do you want something sweet? I thought so... I'll see what I can do... Uhuh... Just head down the hall, to the right... Make yourself comfortable!"

It was inevitable. Then again, I guess I'd rather give her what she wanted rather than see her disappointed. You should have seen me. I was a man on a mission trying to find those snacks. Eventually, I realized that there wasn't any lying around and I had to bear seeing her sad. Is it a reaction? Yes. Is it a good one? No. I took my time cleaning up and figuring out what to tell her. On my way down, I found myself stopping at the door after hearing some "noises". At first, I assumed it was something coming from the television. With my curiosity piqued, I barged in without a second thought. Unfortunately, this put me in a compromising situation. Okay, I know it's my house. But I should know better than to walk in without a warning. My friend was there. Of course, she was. Where else would she be? You know, I just didn't expect her to be on my pillow. Rubbing herself against it. I stood in shock as she mindlessly grinded herself not paying any mind to me. it was like she was in a sort of trance.

"Hey! W-woah... Uhm... What the fuck are you doing? Hahaha... uhm... F-fuck..."

I wasn't entirely sure what to do especially since there wasn't anything to play off on. She was grinding away. No response. But upon closer inspection, there were wrappers scattered on the floor and bed. The shy little thing got herself high from consuming the edibles placed on the tableside near my bed. I quickly rushed over to stop her. Placing my hands around her hips to keep her down. Only whimpers and tears were replaced with the sudden stop.

"H-hey... Shhh... Shhhh it's okay... I'm sorry... Ugh fuck... What am I supposed to do with you? Uhm... Let's see... H-hey! C'mon... It's okay... Why are you still crying? You can rub... It's okay... Stop crying, okay? I'm sorry for stopping you... "

After consuming this many brownies, I doubt she'd be able to speak. I'm surprised she was still even functioning at this point. I didn't expect her to have such a drastic personality change after a few brownies. She wouldn't stop crying. I soon realized her trying to move her hips faster. I guess the stimulation wasn't enough to satisfy her. Luckily, I had an idea. Not to fulfill my own selfish desires, but to help a friend out. I mean, what was I supposed to do? Leave her a whimpering sobby mess?

"I-it's okay... Just for a moment... Sit here... I know... I know it hurts... But we'll get it settled in a bit... You just have to be a good girl and listen, okay? That's it... Such a good girl... Does it feel good when I rub you there? Hm? I know it's hard to talk... Just nod your head... Yeah? Ah no... No moving your hips... If you wanna feel good then you'll have to listen, don't you? That's it... Nice and easy... Keep those legs spread for me, hun... Such a pretty lady... So needy... So wet... I'm only rubbing your clit and you're just leaking... Why don't we take these off, huh? We wouldn't want to ruin your panties more than we already have... Shhh... It's okay I'm just taking these off and we'll continue... I'll give a little more than just rubbing... I promise... Oh fuck... A literal bitch in heat... Gonna slide a finger in, okay? Oh? Well, don't you fit perfectly around my fingers... So tight... Mm... What pretty little noises you have... There's no need to be shy... It's okay to feel good..."

Slowly digging away into her deepest parts causing her to spasm. Choking on her moans as the pleasure increases. Her hands clasped around my forearm. A sign informing me that she's close to the edge. Slowing down my pace even more to keep from finishing too quickly. Soft slow strokes. My middle finger moving in and along her slit. A flick at her clit once at the top. Sending a shockwave of spasms throughout her body. I knew it was about time to give her a break. Running my fingers along her body; lifting her shirt. My hands finding their way up her bra. Running circles around her perky breasts. Pinching. Poking. Tugging.

"Hm? You're going to have to use your words... I'm not going to be able to understand you if all you do is moan and whimper... Please? You wanna cum? What's the magic word? Fine... In a bit... I'm still having my fun... Oh? Sensitive there, are we? Be good and I'll give you your reward... Pretty little thing... Does it feel good? Uhuh yeah? Sound so fucking stupid when I touch you here... Are you going to cum just from your nipples being played with? No cuz that would be pathetic, wouldn't it? Almost there, hun... Keep it up... You're doing such a good job for me..."

Hands appreciating every nook and cranny of her body. Tempting her but never really touching the place that needs it the most. Lips pressed. Tongues rolled. A dance of oral pleasure. The taste of brownies lingered on my tongue. How many wrappers were there? I wouldn't be surprised if I got high from tasting her lips. If it were my choice, I would spend an eternity in this bliss. However, she quickly made her needs known. Whimpers and tears once flood the room. Her inability to stay still grew restless as I toyed with her body. One final kiss and I was on my knees. Pulling her hips to the edge of the bed. The softness of her thighs welcomed my cheeks with each kiss. I start to salivate; eager to run my tongue along the drippy mess I've made. In my own trance, I started eating away at her. A different type of hunger had filled me. Something that couldn't be satiated so easily. I wanted her to quake my touch. Moan at the very thought of me. Get wet at every little word I mutter as I adore her perfection.

"Mmph... Fuck... you taste so good, hun... Mmm... I know... I know... I shouldn't talk with my mouth full... I can't help it... You're just too damn pretty right now..."

Her grip tightens; pulling my head into her. Her morality leaking between her legs as I lapped my tongue into her depths. A wave after wave of orgasms causes her to shake. Even with my tongue gently finding its way around her clit, it brings her to the edge over and over. I found pleasure in serving her. With cock in hand, I stroked myself to completion. Even then it was barely enough to fill that hunger. Grabbing her wrists I stood above her; pinning down her arms before placing my cock against the opening of her pussy. Feeling her squirm on the tip. Watching her eyes roll back as the length of cock disappears into her.

"Hey hey... Shush... You're doing such a great job... Mhm... I know you came... I'm sorry, sweetie... Just a little longer, you can take it... All you have to do is stay still and be pretty, okay? Can you do that for me, hun? Mhm... Good girl... Not a single thought behind those pretty eyes, huh? That's it... Cum as you please... I'm not stopping you..."

Hands pinned above her head as I rut into her in the most animalistic, primal way. Enjoying every bit of her reactions as I pump my cum back into her. Even as she drifts off to sleep, I found myself using her and using her. Satiating my hunger. I was unsure of how things would play out tomorrow, so I wanted to enjoy myself while it lasted. Making my mark. Filling her to the brim. I wore myself out. But even then, I wanted to use her. Finger the very holes I came in. Fucking her with my fingers to keep the cum from leaking. Never wanting this happiness to end.

"Oh! You're awake... What happened? Well... You kinda nodded off while I was looking for snacks... You okay? A dream? You were moving a lot during it... but I didn't wanna wake you from your nap... Sore? Hm... You're probably just hungry... Here... I found some brownies... It's really good... You should try some!"

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Take a bite,

Honey

[general-cyno]

Hey hey have you ever thought about how zoro breaks his body again and again for Luffy gaining scar after scar loosing eyes and shit trying to keep up with Luffy and his devil fruit and sanji with his genetically modified body. Do you think zoro wonders what will be the thing that tips him over the edge into death??? Do you think Luffy does???

well hello to you too, anon! sorry that it took me a while to answer but I love this and ended up typing a lot. so, I also apologize in advance for the long-ish read.

but yeah! actually I was sort of thinking about it thanks to some twts I saw discussing thriller bark again. I gotta say, perhaps I have a bit of a less angsty view? because the thing is... zoro's a pretty straightforward and single-minded character, which doesn't mean he's flat or lacking in depth, but his overall thought process isn't extremely complex.

though zoro treasures his life (just like his swords, both which he needs to achieve his goals), he's not naive. he knows death is a real possibility, more so in the pursuit of his dream. zoro says as much to sanji back in baratie:

zoro doesn't seek death, the opposite actually, and he refuses to die in situations he finds dishonorable or out of his control, but he's come to terms with the idea of his own death. aside from that (or additionally), zoro's most prominent traits are rooted in his deep sense of commitment, devotion and loyalty to what he wants and believes in - namely his dream and his promise to kuina. this aspect of his character doesn't change imo, rather it broadens to encompass luffy and the crew as well.

all this to say that albeit I've called it a sacrifice myself, I don't think what zoro chooses to do for luffy or the crew would count (for him) as such. it's just what he believes he must do - to achieve his personal goals as much as to ensure luffy gets to fulfill his own and to protect the crew as a whole, because they've all become intertwined with zoro's dream to begin with. especially where it concerns luffy. what good is ambition if I can't even save the life of my own captain? indeed, for someone whose end goal is to become the strongest, what's the point of doing so if his strength doesn't allow him to protect those who are important to him? the person who is most important to him?

so when zoro chooses to keep pushing himself to train harder/become stronger, to do the exchange with kuma, beg mihawk to train him or agrees to do crazy stuff like take the drug that will help him recuperate enough to fight but will worsen his injuries/pain tenfold the moment the effect wears off in wano - they're not sources of regret or decisions he sees as tragic sacrifices. he's quite like luffy too, who's made similar choices along the story.

the angst of moments like "nothing happened" for me lies more on the implications of what could've happened (zoro dying for real), what eventually did (almost getting killed in sabaody, the crew's separation) and what luffy's reaction would've been if he'd found out. I do agree luffy would ultimately respect his decision, what I don't usually agree with is that he'd be immediately okay with it. the last thing luffy wants is to lose someone he loves, less so if they get hurt trying to protect him. points at his backstory, marineford and post marineford. this is exactly why sanji insists on not letting him know.

on the other hand, imo, zoro's not trying to keep up with luffy per se... how I see it, it's more like meeting him halfway. when you're faced with how powerful luffy's become nowadays, it's easy to forget he's not infallible. luffy has weaknesses and shortcomings too. post TS zoro is even more aware of both of their limitations (he's the one who's literally experienced luffy's pain as if it were his own) though he's also become more confident in their strength and the crew's as well. zoro will do his best to stand by luffy's side and protect him/their crew, but luffy has to measure up! zoro has no qualms about reminding and demanding him to get his shit together. zoro might not reach luffy's levels of raw strength (and I'd argue he doesn't need to), still, there's other ways in which he makes up for what luffy lacks or can't do in certain circumstances. so if you ask me, it's not about keeping up - it's meeting each other in the middle and striding forward together.

as for sanji, a similar thing applies. for all their petty rivalry and their roles as crew combatants, it's important to remember sanji's more of a nurturer (he is the cook, after all) and his dream of the all blue has little to do with strength, unlike zoro's. his genetic modifications don't really become an issue (for the crew) until wano and if anything, rather than this setting him above zoro in terms of power/abilities or turning into something zoro has to catch up with, sanji relies on zoro to keep him in line if he ever endangers the crew because of it.

all in all, I don't think zoro's the type to wonder what's gonna make him kick the bucket, though he knows dying is a realistic possibility. plus, he's not the only relatively Normal Guy who's ever become crazy strong among DF users and other enhanced characters. rayleigh is a very good point of reference as to what zoro is capable of becoming or achieving, and it's no coincidence they share a bunch of a similarities too.

AND FINALLY LUFFY. I rambled about this in the tags of a post a while back but luffy is a bit of a more complicated case imo. the manga doesn't exactly provide insight on luffy's inner thoughts/feelings (he voices most of them anyway) and though he's not naive in this aspect either, especially not post TS, the story rarely lets him witness situations in which zoro's vulnerable or in real danger of dying. this leads to him sometimes coming across as insensitive or being unfair (by having almost unrealistic expectations wrt zoro) but part of it is that he sees zoro bouncing back from the seemingly impossible more often than he sees him down.

however, the way he loses his goddamn mind when mihawk hurts zoro at baratie, when kizaru almost kills him and as kuma sends him away in sabaody, is a very good indicator of how he handles the idea of losing zoro which is - not well. at all. OPLA also gave us a more blatant example of this with the near dissociation, panic, losing his appetite and actively refusing to eat etc when zoro's wounded and unconscious after his duel with mihawk.

whether he thinks about zoro dying or not is probably more headcanon/fanfic territory, since it hasn't come up in the manga itself. even so, I do believe luffy's the type who... deliberately does Not ponder about sad or potentially upsetting things. one very brief moment that stood out to me while reading was this:

luffy not wanting to remember when garp left him on his own as a kid and straight up getting mushroom-high after being separated from his friends? man.

despite his cheerfulness and confidence, luffy is at his innermost terrified of losing the people he loves and hates the idea of being alone, ever since he was a kid. he begged ace not to die, has fought time and time again to rescue his friends and bring back those who've left. zoro's not just his first crew mate but he's also been the most long lasting and steady throughout the story. as some people have pointed out - zoro is the only one of the east blue gang who's never left the crew, even if the rest all had very understandable reasons for doing it each time. so on a more speculative note, after all the losses luffy's suffered, I'd say wondering when or how zoro will die is something he'd very much avoid. the thought's likely pretty devastating. instead, it's easier to put his entire trust and faith into believing zoro will pull through anything, like luffy says in dressrosa, and zoro would accept no less than that imo - because that's the kind of trust/faith he places in luffy as well.

lastly, about the scars and such... this is where zoro and luffy's similarities are highlighted. when it comes to all the choices they make wrt their dreams or protecting their friends, those luffy understands well. he's pretty much the same as zoro in this regard. that's why he refuses to let buggy interrupt zoro's fight with cabaji and stops johnny and yosaku from interfering in his duel against mihawk, even if seeing zoro get hurt upsets him greatly. zoro and luffy match in many ways, their dreams and determination to fulfill them is one of them, no matter what they have to do or how many scars they collect along their journey as a result.

[mrs-kodzuken]

What’s mine is yours ♡

Pairing: Sō Inuoka x fem!reader

WC: 2.1k

Genre: fluff

CW: fem!reader, fluff, bad home situation for reader, found family, inuoka has a big-ish family, mentions of yakulev relationship

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My palms grew sweaty as Inuoka once again changed the subject. I was starting to grow insecure about myself due to this silly reason.

I have always wanted to meet his family. Seeing as mine is one I'm not fond of, I was eager for his.

"(Y/n)? You're not busy this Saturday, right? Do you maybe want to go to the movies?" Sō beamed with his usual delight, awaiting for my response.

"Sure."

It's not like I'd have plans anyway. Leaving my house was all I did; if not, I'd be surrounded by my parents fighting all the time. Which wasn't the greatest sight to always see or hear.

"Great!" He cheerfully took my hand in his and started racing down the hallway with me trying to keep up.

We've been together for almost a year now, and he has such a unique personality.

However, I have started to grow used to his unusual bursts of energy.

Inuoka was definitely leading us up to the rooftop with Lev and Yaku. We'd always eat there every day, unless it rained, snowed, or the pollen was too much in the spring.

The smell of the fresh summer air filled my lungs as I felt the blazing sun beam upon us while we ate. Summer was such a good season and I loved its clear blue skies.

Once I finished my bento, I leaned on Inuoka's shoulder. He smiled warmly, wrapping his arm around me.

I watched Yaku glare at us in disgust, even though his boyfriend was literally right beside him.

"Yaku-senpai, can we?" The Russian first year was cut short as Yaku elbowed him in the ribs.

I stifled a laugh while Sō's laughter rang through the wind. Still makes my heart feel all funny.. or maybe it's heartburn from my lunch.

"Hey! It's not funny!" Lev groaned, holding his waist.

Who knew Yaku could be so violent toward his partner?

"Yeah, sure, it's not." I chuckled, grabbing my bento box and checking the time.

"Sō? It's about time we head back." I stood up, dusting myself off and being able to look over him for a couple of short seconds.

"Oh, already? Well, see you guys at practice!" Inuoka frantically waved with one hand as we started our walk back inside.

I giggled, pushing him lightly to the door. While we were walking towards our classes, I decided this would be the last time I asked.

"So, this Saturday, can we stay at your house for movies instead?" I asked him, looking down, cursing at myself for always using him as my escape.

"My place? (Y/n), I've been meaning to tell you-" My boyfriend got cut off as one of his classmates came near.

"Hey Inouka! You're going to be late if you dilly-dally!" I heard one of his classmates say to him, clapping him on the shoulder.

He nervously turned back to me and gave me a soft kiss on my forehead. Which left me with shivers and butterflies in my stomach.

"I'll tell you later, I promise." He swore, sliding his right pinky through my left one.

I nodded my head knowing he didn't ever break a promise but also wanting to get out of here as soon as possible.

It was really embarrassing, even if it didn't seem like it for others, it was to me.

When he turned around I did the same, walking fast in the other direction. Since I was in class four and not one, we had different classes and they were kind of far down the hall from one another.

I felt the red flush grow onto my face as I barely made it to class on time. As I took my seat in the back and put my head down the bell rang.

What did he want to talk about? Was I being too persistent? Most likely.

He was probably fed up with it, but Sō isn't the one who usually gets mad at people. He's so sweet and kind, always thinking of others, especially me.

All kinds of questions ran through my head; I hadn't been paying attention in class.

By the time I did get out of my head, the bell rang. which signaled the end of the day. I sighed, grabbed my notebook in my hands, and walked out.

Inouka had volleyball practice today, and being the obviously kind person I am, I avoided him so he wouldn't be late.

God knows how many times he's been late to practice just because he talked to me on the way to the gym after class.

Scurrying the halls, I took a different path from our usual one just to avoid him. It did kind of hurt my own feelings that I was avoiding him.

When I realized that he hadn't followed me, so I continued my journey home. I hoped my parents weren't arguing today; the sound of yelling, door slamming, and contents being thrown about scared me.

However, that seemed like a wish that would never come true.

As I neared my beloved house, I could hear the sounds of shouting from outside. I didn't even want to go through the front door because they'd see me.

Not that it really actually mattered, but the chance of getting hit with something would increase. That incident happened two weeks ago, I had a bandage on my temple for five days.

I rounded the house, climbing on the tree near my window. It was perched near my outside balcony that I use for reading some nights.

I sneakily opening the doors and softly stepping inside. I quickly began to pack two nights worth of clothes.

Staying at (F/n)'s house would seem like the better option than staying here any day.

I grabbed my red duffle bag, courtesy of Nekoma handing them out during pep rallys, and shoved all my necessities into it.

I slung it over my shoulder and stuck a small note card on my bed, stating my whereabouts.

Not that they'd check it but just in case they do and feel tempted to call the cops to report a teenager missing.

Closing my balcony doors, I climbed down from the tree. Brushing dirt off my skirt, I made my way down a couple of neighborhoods to her house.

I walked past a house that had child bicycles all over the lawn. A couple of children were playing outside, minding their business.

It sure did look like a house that held a big family. I saw, what must've been, their mother coming outside and telling them that it's time for dinner and to wash up before.

As soon as she said that, I hurried over to (F/n)'s house because her parents had probably made dinner by now.

Pressing her doorbell, I was met with (F/n)'s dad.

"Hi Mr.(F/Ln). Would it be okay if I stayed over?" I asked, greeting the man like a close family member.

"Are they going at it again? Well, you're always welcome here. Please come in." He welcome me in with a warm but sad smile.

I smiled and took off my shoes, being brought into a hug by (F/n).

"Hey, mom just made dinner; you're hungry?" She asked, pulling me into the kitchen.

"Yeah."

I helped set the table and sat beside (F/n) as we ate dinner, telling each other about our day.

Suddenly, the conversation switched to me and my dating life. Since (F/n) and I have known each other for the longest time, I always spilled everything to her family.

"Well, he said he had to talk to me after class, but he was going to be late if I didn't go the other way." I finished up my latest news with them.

"Maybe he texted you? Have you checked your messages? But do that when dinner is over, sweetie," my friend's mom told me with a smile.

"Yes ma'am." I answered politely.

I quickly ate and then helped wash up some of the dishes while (F/n)'s got my shower ready. They always continue treating me like a guest when i'm more of a family at this point.

Walking into her room, I saw her pulling on her shirt; she must've taken a shower while I was busy.

"I'm going to go take my shower now." I grabbed my clothes from my duffel bag and headed to her bathroom.

"Wait, do you want to watch comedy or romance?" She asked, holding up two DVDs.

"(Comedy/movie)." I pointed to it, and she nodded.

I've never been fond of romantic movies, but my friend never seemed to complain about it.

Today, Sō had told me to meet at the park. I thought we were just going to go to the movie theater, but he had other plans.

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah, they're really embarrassing. That's why I didn't want you to meet them." Inouka nervously laughed and rubbed the back of his head.

"Do you want to go now or get ice cream before we head there?" I asked him. I knew he was nervous, but they can't be that bad, right?

"Ah! That sounds great!" He laughed, pulling me towards an ice cream truck he had his eye on for a while.

I ended up giving my ice cream cone to him, only because I loved the way his eyes lit up at the sight of more sweets.

We neared a house I had seen the other day, with all the bicycles around the yard. My heart kind of dropped but it was still filled with excitement.

"I'm sorry in advance." He whispered and opened the door before I could process what he said.

"Mom? Dad? I'm back!" Sō shouted, taking off his shoes, which were set by lots of other pairs with different sizes and colors.

"Oh! Did you bring your girlfriend yet? I've been dying to meet her!" I heard a lady shout from the kitchen.

Different sounds throughout the house brought me to my senses. I heard the TV on in the living room, kids playing, some even playful arguing, and small footsteps on the stairs.

It was definitely a lot to take in; I could feel Sō's eyes burning into my head as I looked around the cozy feeling house before I got greeted by a woman.

"Oh my! She's so gorgeous! What's your name, darling?" The woman I saw the other day had pulled me into a hug. I spewed out my name, which was muffled by her shoulder.

"(L/n) (Y/n). And could you please stop suffocating my girlfriend? I'd like to keep her alive." I felt him pull me back from his mother's grasp.

"Sorry, Sō, she's just so cute, and this is the first time you brought a girl home! Honey! Come meet (Y/n)!" I heard his mom yell, not in anger but in pure happiness. It was definitely a change did pace from my own house.

I was surprised by her using my first name right away. Inouka nudged my arm, causing me to snap my neck towards him.

"I'm sorry, did she make you uncomfortable? I keep telling her about how people might not like that." He groaned shamefully, and I could laugh at how cute he is.

"Sō, it's okay. This is exciting." I held his hand while he led me to the living room. I had met his mom, dad, and five siblings.

"Your siblings do have a lot of energy," I commented as I watched two small children run after each other.

"Well, when your parents are actual crackheads, then I guess you get this." He gestured to himself and his siblings.

After that, I had been spending so much time with them that I had forgotten it had gotten dark. Which concluded with me staying the night, they promised that they wouldn't mind having another child in the house.

That night changed everything; I had consistently came over and sometimes spent a whole two weeks over. My parents obviously were too busy fighting with each other to notice.

They had practically said I was their own, which Inuoka and I reframed from letting them say since we are dating.

"Play the movie." I heard the child whine as he settled on the couch.

"Okay, okay. Calm down (C/n)." I laughed and pressed play on the Disney movie we picked.

It was as if I had become a part of the Inouka family. Which was all I really wanted all along: a family.

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a/n: this is from my book “Haikyuu x Reader Oneshots” on Wattpad! I hope you enjoyed and let me know if you have any requests!

the header is made by me! please like/reblog if used <3

[besidesitstoowarm]

"Forest of the Dead" thoughts

i think this is my favorite davies-era moffat story. i mean, "blink" is iconic and tightly constructed, and "empty child/doctor dances" has a phenomenal backbone, but nothing can really compete with professor river song. sorry

we open with what my boyfriend called "runescape ass music" and donna wakes up in a dream world where she meets a husband and has two kids. it's all very nice and she seems quite happy. river says the doctor is "the only story you'll ever tell, if you survive him" which i think is a reasonable judgment. he wants to know how he's supposed to trust her and she whispers something in his ear and he agrees to trust her

donna gets a weird letter from the demon from "insidious" that basically says this world is a lie. the doctor is able to talk to mr hey who turned out the lights by using the neural relay in his suit and the vashta nerada inform him that this is their home, they were born here. they're found in forests normally and this is their forest, born from a million million books. donna is told by the demon that all the kids in that world are the same and we see that they are. the demon is just miss evangelista copied wrong

river is not so sure about the doctor bc he isn't "her" doctor yet, he's unfinished. they realize the "saved" 4k people were literally saved to the computer hardd rive. he says "i bet i like you" to river and she says "oh, you do" i would actually kill to see more tennant/kingston on screen, they could have amazing chemistry

donna's kids disappear bc they aren't real. i like the quote from miss evangelista where she said she had "the two qualities required to see absolute truth: i am brilliant, and unloved" mamma mia. the doctor beefs w the vashta nerada again "i'm the doctor and you're in the biggest library in the world. look me up"

he decides to filter the hard drive through his own brain to get the ram needed to bring everyone back but river says fuck no that'll kill him so she punches him out, handcuffs him to a post, and wires herself in. he begs her not to "time can be rewritten" and she's crying as she says "not those times. not one line, don't you dare" and it's revealed the word she whispered in his ear was his name. she explodes but it worked and the people are saved

donna tries to find her dream-husband but can't. we see he's real but can't call out to her in time :( the doctor realizes he gave river his sonic in the future bc he found a way to save her and uploads her to the computer where she can be w her dead friends and dream children and alex kingston looks so beautiful in that white gown i want to kill myself

yeah this is straightfowardly a gorgeous story with not a second wasted, an impressive feat for a 2-parter. river is such a good character it's unreal and the vashta nerada are used perfectly, explored just as much as necessary while also being mostly background drama/catalyst for the doctor/river situation. i assume it must have been known at this point that moffat would be taking over for davies, right? obviously he knew it would be his last season and i can't imagine river being introduced as anything except a teaser. but not too much cause it'd be spoilers ;)

god i fucking love this story. i've never heard a bad word about it, we all love it. and next up, the donna relaxes peacefully while the doctor has the worst day of his life

[remyfire]

It definitely is! I always love some AUs, but I have so much trouble coming up with them for this show because so few things can match the energy of being at war together. The small space and the trauma and everything else combine to create some really interesting character dynamics, and they're so hard to replicate in a place with lower stakes or more space or just anything where one of the variables is changed. I have so much respect for someone who can write it well (and will definitely read that fic) and wish I could do the same! But hey, making things far more complicated than they need to be is the life of a writer 😂

I completely understand how you feel with the canoe ship though, I am the Queen of Canoes in a couple of my other fandoms 😂 I literally originated a ship tag for one on Ao3, so I'm right there with you on the tiny ships I would go to war for lmao. But yes BJ is so husband coded all the time! BJ Papa San showed it most explicitly, but even just the little things he does in camp are him trying to connect to the husband and father part of himself he left behind when he got sent over to Korea. He's a good person, but he also so genuinely enjoys that role, and it's so obvious to see if you're looking for it. We love a man that's respectful and kind 😤

Mulcahy is so interesting, and I look forward to that episode mentioned! Due to several literature and art classes over the course of my schooling I have become very good at using my Catholic upbringing to completely overanalyze Catholic media, and I am absolutely delighted to be able to pull it in here. It's clear that Mulcahy is genuinely kind and believes in goodness, and I think if he ever comes to the realization that religion isn't always the way to show that it'll tear him apart. He's devoted so much of his life to his religion (hell the man is named after three saints, he was practically BORN to be a priest) so anything that can dismantle that would hit him really hard. And unfortunately, I love throwing my favorite characters into difficult situations, so sorry in advance Father. I loved the glimpse into his head in Dear Sis, and I genuinely had to rewind a few times to watch Hawkeye talking to him over again. It's just so a u g h (affectionate)

I also just finished C*A*V*E and oh boy oh boy I could probably write half a novel on this already but I'll try to keep it short for now. The Hawkeye and Margaret connection! The deeper peek into who Hawkeye is as a person rather than just a doctor, and what actually makes him tick! Margaret sharing her own fears and offering to sit with him to make him feel better! BJ staying close to Hawkeye when he had to come check on his patient in the cave so Hawk knows he has someone safe nearby! Margaret and Hawkeye facing their fears together! Hawk playing a dumb little game with her in the OR to take her mind off things!! This episode is truly making me Feral oh my god, I don't think it will ever leave my brain, it's just gonna live there now.

It is SUCH a good show! I knew it was before but now that I'm actually watching it through I'm getting the full weight of it and god it's a masterpiece. You can talk about the cultural impact all day, but it's hard to truly understand w h y it had such an impact until you're watching it yourself and picking up on all these little intricacies. I've been keeping a list of good episodes for myself, just for Personal Reasons I can't really explain, and there are f a r too many episodes on that list already. So many are just so good, I want to remember them and rewatch them and frankly just roll around in them like a dog that's found a particularly nice patch of grass. This show already shaped me when I watched it with my parents when I was younger but genuinely I don't think I will be the same after watching it all the way through. Just, what a show.

Weeping. After reading this, I had to go check my Canoe status. In this fandom, I have originated 5 ship tags (Trap/Peg, BJ/Leo, BJ/Klinger, Margie/Klinger, Sam/Sid/Hawk) and I have been between the 2nd and 5th story in 10 more ship tags (Sid/Beej, Marg/Beej, Trap/Mulcahy, Trap/Margie, Hawk/Klinger, Marg/Beej/Hawk, Trap/Klinger, Sid/Beej/Hawk, Sid/Sam, BJ/Charles). Why did I do this to myself. It's a lonely life isn't it hfksdfds

But it also makes perfect sense that this fandom is ripe for rare ships because though they are in the center of a situation that demands order, there is very little sense of actual social order as they might experience back home. I think even if I wasn't The Way I Am with multishipping, I'd still be compelled to go, "Yeah, you know what, everything is pretty permissible here. The line between friendship and lover blurs often. There's not much demand for monogamy among denizens of this camp. They're seeking comfort and love where they can find it and they're all very good at giving it." It compels me idk

I'm really enjoying hearing your thoughts about Mulcahy!! I feel the same way about him as well, how he's ripe for a thunderbolt realization or two that his faith isn't going to be the Way and, in fact, is often dealing the damage in a lot of situations. I love you mentioning his three names, though. It immediately takes my mind right back to Trapper and his own long series of very Catholic names. Trap, I am putting you in a jar and staring very hard at you. Tell me your Catholic past. Did you really consider becoming a priest. Why didn't you and Mulcahy get more screen time together.

CAVE MY BELOVED. CAVE, my Margaret/Hawk/BJ thesis (yes, even in a platonic sense, I promise, no one come for me). I think the first time I heard BJ say, "Thank heavens none of us has to stand it alone," I had to pause and fold my hands and stare at the wall. The support all three of them give each other. BJ bringing a cup of comfort and it being passed to Margaret because Hawkeye knows she needs it too. It always makes me sad when people read that as a jealousy moment from BJ when he snuggles down just as close to her and isn't being snippy or annoyed at her presence. He cares them! He cares them both! And such a really lovely way for Hawk and Margaret to continue sinking into each other, to carve out even more level ground between them, ugh. I'm unwell about it. It's so delightful.

It really is so fascinating, returning to this show as adults, huh? It's a completely different experience. There's some grief there because we can still relate to so much of what they're talking or snipping or griping about in our modern, continuously-war-waging era, but also it's absolutely remarkable how timeless it has become. And being able to analyze it now with such depth due to the easy streaming access and the online fan communities, it's incredible. Chef's kiss.

[toa-arania]

I live in a hell of my own creation

and I need to scream into the endless void of the internet about this so strap in or strap on because I'm going to ramble about vampires now.

For about two years I have been part of a Vampire The Masquerade larp chronicle where I play Evelyn D'Argent, the domain's Harpy who is so horny that she needs an above-board content warning and all-around ventrue menace. I absolutely adore her and that is the problem. For reasons I'm not getting into the chronicle is kind of imploding, which means that despite the fact that I'm not really ready to lose her it's unlikely that I'll get to play Evelyn for much longer. This is not the main problem. I've had games die prematurely before (rip Karouh), I've got attached to characters who were only ever going to be in oneshots, and I've had long-form collaborative settings kind of fizzle out (rip RO). The problem is that I hit perfectly on what I would want in a vampire character and I don't think I can ever make another VtM character I will like as much.

This isn't an exaggeration, to be very clear. I have played other characters in sessions and regardless of how similar they are to Evelyn I have always reliably found myself thinking for the whole of the session "ugh I wish I was playing Evelyn rn". So now I'm in the situation where literally anyone else I could play I will just want to play Evelyn. "But I could just port Evelyn over-" no I can't. Not only will it be with the same group of people so they will know and I will have to deal with the comparisons the whole time, and not only does everything I would join have the rule of not just porting over other characters anyway, but I would know and I would not want that.

So I am back to my original problem. How in the flying fuck do I make a character who hits all the notes I want without it Just Being Evelyn Again. The answer is that I don't fucking know I fully do not have an answer I'm smacking my head against a wall this is the worst how have I done this to myself. It doesn't help that Ventrue is my favourite clan to play because I love being a scheming bastard. It's a core part of the VtM experience for me. The closest thing to an answer I can think of is to make a character who encompasses just enough of Evelyn's deal that I can get enough of that that I want, and make up for the rest of it in Another Character Elsewhere.

Evelyn is a character very uniquely put together for use in a larp context, because - well honestly because of her whole vibe, but the specific example is that she's a performer, and in a larp session I can (and have on several occasions) fully get up on a stage and sing. Also she bears a physical resemblance to me with the long hair and the Tall and the tiddies, which means dressing as her is easy and fun (cleavage). This whole thing presents another unique problem because so much of the vibe and what I like about her is physically portraying how she is and acts and doing her voice and the more of this I write out the more I realise maybe I just can't do a fucking play by post and I've fucked myself even worse than I thought.

Aside from all that, Evelyn is at her core terrifyingly smart when it comes to scheming and manipulation because the political intrigue is my favourite bit of vtm, so in order to play any character in VtM ever they need to be at least as good as Evelyn in that aspect of things and probably in a very similar way because Oh Hoh Presence and because if I try and do it in a different way it'll just Be Less Fun. That'll be the main angle I'll need to be able to play if I can't have the performing stuff (I have a Bard cooking in my brain anyway so maybe I can get the performing there, who fucking knows).

And then a friend of mine says hey do you want to come and be my second Childe in this play by post that has a waiting list that's probably months long and I end up actually having ideas that work I'm going to fuckign cry.

I have no idea if I'm going to like this character that I want to be very clear has been cooking for exactly one hour, nor do I know if I'm ever going to get to play her, but I know deep in my fucking core that she can't just Be Evelyn Again, and I worry deeply that that's going to make me like her less. Essentially:

Fuck

So now here I am with a character concept I might never get to play who I am very worried is just going to be a worse version of a character I'm not ready to let go of, while also dealing with the knowledge that I'm going to have to lose Evelyn eventually anyway and it's just a whole clusterfuck that I Have Not Resolved nor do I have any idea how to. Do I abandon the niche I've carved out for myself entirely in the knowledge that I could never do it as well again, or do I make someone who only reaches some of the old heights while using other characters to make up the gaps in what I get to play? Am I just fucked either way?

I don't know how to close this out.

[pink-peony-princess]

My Heroes

-Ester-

“Are you sure you want to do this?" Shawn asked, looking down the snow covered mountain and back at me. He looked petrified. Something which I found hilarious considering he regularly went into dangerous situations, putting his own life at risk to help others. He was an Emergency Response Doctor and worked both in the hospital and out in the field, quite often in highly dangerous and ‘touch and go’ situations.

The other guys laughed at his uncertainty. “We'll be fine Shawn,” Connor, one of my brother’s friends, and a fellow doctor spoke.  They had all taken me for a ski getaway for an early birthday present.They all work as doctors, Connor in PEDs, Dave in Orthopedics and Brian as a heart surgeon.

“We’ve done this route about ten times already,” Brian added.

"Yeah, you have,” My brother spoke, emphasising the fact that he had not be present on previous occasions.

"Just shut up!" I commanded, sighing. "I'm going. Who's with me?" I asked, a smile starting at the thought of the thrill we were all about to get.

A chorus "yeahs" and "hell yeahs" returned, and then we were off. All racing one another down the mountain. I couldn't see the others, who must have been a few metres behind me, but I knew they were there, and desperately wanted to turn to try and catch a glimpse of Shawn making his way down the mountain.

The wind was exhilarating! So fresh, and clean compared to life back in the city. I found my mind wondering slightly as I made my way further down the track, having already down it several times, I didn't feel like I needed to be as cautious. Boy was I wrong!

I was making my way around what I thought to be the final bend in the course, when I was faced with a massive pile of freshly placed snow. They had changed the course trajectory, and there was nothing I could do about it now. Rocketing as I was towards the freezing wall.

My body hit it with such force that the air was literally knocked out of me for a few seconds, but worse than that was the fact that my left leg went one way, and the rest of my body, the other, I heard the snap, before the pain consumed me. The next few minutes were a blur of fear and agony. I was too cold, and in too much shock and pain to even cry out for help, so when Connor finally came to a skidding holt beside me I was a blubbering mess.

"Ester, can you hear me honey?" he asked, taking my hand and pinching my thumb to try and elicit some sort of response. He let go when I groaned,just wanting him to make the pain go away. Not to cause more. And where was my brother? I was a barely twenty year old, stuck on a snow covered mountain, on my birthday severely injured. I needed Shawn.

Within a matter of minutes there were more hands on me, a flurry of activity and noise that I could hardly decipher. "What the hell happend?" Someone asked, Dave I think.

"I'm not entirely sure, but I came round the corner, and she was here, I haven't started vitals yet, but she did respond to pain stimuli which is a start." I could feel myself teetering on the edge as the two doctors spoke, but I wasn't going to give in. I didn't want to be unconscious in the middle of nowhere as my brother and his friends worked on me. Reaching my hand up I tried to feel for one of their hands, but when I felt nothing I began to get frustrated.

"Ester, can you hear me honey?" The same voice from before spoke. Definitely Dave. This was confirmed when I managed to open my eyes and found him smiling grimly back at me.

In that moment my head wasn't straight and before I'd even processed what my body was doing, I was moving. As I tried and failed to sit up, ignoring the intense pain that was coming from my shoulder and pelvic area, I managed to catch a glimpse of the ground surrounding the lower part of my body. It was red, red as if someone had obtained a can of red paint and discarded it carelessly into the snow. Shock took over as I realised the source of the vibrant liquid. Me. I suddenly felt very faint, and could feel my chest tightening.

"Ester, honey, you have to stay still. I'm pretty sure judging by the angle of your arm that your shoulder is dislocated. You'll only hurt yourself more. Let us look after you okay. Let us do our jobs." Connor half chastised, half begged me as he helped me to situate myself again.

"My leg, there so much blood!" I gasped feeling quezy at the sight of my mangelled limb.

"Sweets, don't watch okay, it'll just make it worse, you have to try and stay still okay? We don't know how much damage you've done until we can get you to the hospital." Connor explained grabbing my hand again in comfort.

I lay there not really aware of what was going on around me just wishing I could be anywhere but here. "Ester, baby?" Finally I broke out of my state and came to reality.

"Shawn?" I whispered, making eye contact with him as he lent over me.

"I'm right here, bug, I've got you. I'm going to unzip this jacket for a minute okay sweets, we need to see what other injuries you have." he explained, before carefully but quickly removing my only source of warmth, immediately earning a moan of protest.

"Shhhh, Just a minute okay, then we'll get you extra rugged up okay?" Brian spoke for the first time, removing the bag he had been carrying from his back and starting to remove blankets.

I had laughed at him earlier in the morning, remarking that it was as if he was going for a camp out in the snow, not for a mere ride on the trails, but now I couldn't help but feel extremely greatful.

"Right, Princess, you're  breathing way too fast at the moment. I know you're in pain, and you're probably scared. But I need you to try and slow it down." Brian spoke as he moved the last layer of clothing covering my stomach. There was no disguising the sharp intake of breath as he surveyed my mid-section. Everyone was silent for a minute as Brian examined me ever so gently. The others watching his every move. I couldn't help but feel slightly like a bug under a microscope, especially given the crowd that had started to form. It felt like every two minutes someone new was asking the guys if they had called for an ambulance. The answer to which each of them took in turns to patiently answer with a "yes", reassuring the by-standers that they were doctors, and knew what they were dealing with.

"Connor, I can't be sure, but I think she's got some broken ribs, her breathing is inhibited, and she's got some serious bruising forming, her left shoulder is well and truly dislocated too." Dave finally spoke, agreeing with Connor's theory, before starting to readjust my clothing, protecting me from the bitter cold.

" It's possible that it's internal bleeding or a bruised spleen." Brian put in as they all shared a little glance above my head.

I couldn't help the groan that left my mouth as this new information sunk in. They thought I was bleeding from the inside out?

"Ester, I need you to tell me where it hurts honey," Shawn spoke, holding my hand in silent comfort. When I didn't respond Connor took my hand and pinched my finger once again.

"Ow!" I glared up at him, earning a smile.

"Good to see the princess is still as feisty as ever!" This caused everyone to laugh. Even me, but the fun was short-lived, as my body was once again bathed in pain.

"Make it stop!" I begged, squirming around uncomfortably.

"Just stay still baby." Shawn tried to sooth me while also trying to help Dave.

"But it hurts and I'm cold." my teeth chartered as if agreeing with what I just said.

"I know you are princess," Brian spoke softly.  I sighed before starting to close my eyes.  All I wanted to do was sleep.  "Hey, follow my finger okay," he called, trying to get my attention. Begrudgingly I opened my eyes again, and was met by glare that immediately made me squint. I did as asked though, before I heard him answer a question I hadn't heard be asked.

"Definate concussion, pupils unequal and slow to respond, though it's hard to tell the full extent here without the proper equipment. Keep her talking Shawn."  Brian muttered, moving around my body to help Dave with whatever he was doing.

"Wow," I heard him let out a low whistle, my heart rate spiking in response.

"Brian!" Dave groaned,  seeing the panic that had begun to set in.  "Would you keep it down.  The poor kid's heart is already racing,  and you're not making it any better.  You're terrifying her," he spoke.  Stopping whatever he was doing to look up.  "Ester, can you feel this honey?" he asked, before I felt an odd sensation on my foot. Nonetheless I could feel it,  so I nodded causing all four of the doctors to such in relief.

"That's good news Princess.  It means your leg isn't as bad as we first thought! " Connor looked much more excited than I felt, but I smiled back as convincingly as I could in my haze. I tuned out for a few minutes, but soon what they were saying caught my attention. Well some of it. Something about having to "apply pressure to my leg" to stop the bleeding, and sedation. That was all it took before I started to panic again.

"Just take nice deep, slow breathes Princess, you can do it, here give me your hand, " Shawn spoke, noticing my obvious terror and changed breathing. I couldn't believe how calm he was as he took my hand gently in his own again , and laid it against his chest. "Copy me. In, out, in out, that's it," he praised as I finally managed to follow his lead. "They won't hurt you bug." I wasn't sure I trusted him,  but the sincerity and intensity with which he met my gaze won me over.

"Oh-okay," I spoke in barely a whisper. My head was starting to hurt from the noise.  The crowd, the guys conversing with one another.  "But my leg," I whimpered as another round of panic hit me.

"Look at me bug," Shawn commanded,leaning over me, blocking out the surrounding crowd that had previously filled my peripheral vision.  "I won't let them hurt you. Hell, they'd rather die than hurt you.  We're not going to do anything until help gets here okay? We can't, it wouldn't be safe." he added as if to try and make his point even clearer.

-Shawn-

10 minutes later

As I stood waiting for the stupid satellite phone we had been given by the service people at the bottom of the run, I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. There was my baby sister, who was meant to be celebrating her 20th birthday, laying in the snow, half- conscious with a flood of blood coming from a gash on  her left leg along with what looked like a probable fibia fracture, another open wound on her head,  and bruises so bad after only a few minutes that she looked more like a blueberry and less like a person.

Finally the phone connected and I was put through to the Emergency Department. This is doctor Shawn Mendes  head of Emergency Response. We have an incoming pediatric trauma with an eta of 45 minutes possibly an hour."

After going though the motions all the while being consumed with worry and guilt,  I made my way back over to Ester. Connor who had taken over comforting her for me, looked up, his expression bleak, and somewhat pained.

"It's not great mate, Brian's pretty sure she's got air in her lungs, and she's about to pass out."

I felt my own heart rate rise as I took in my sister's form. Shaking my head slightly to try and clear my mind I nodded "Helicopter is about 2 minutes out. The hospital just got a GPS location on it."

"Ester look at me," I called moving to lean over her again so she could see me without moving. "I need you to stay awake okay? Can you do that honey?"

She made the smallest noise to indicate "yes", before going quiet again.  Whether it was the shock or she was simply in so much pain she didn't know how to process it, the silence was concerning, and as a doctor, my biggest concern was to keep her talking.

"Tell me what else hurts okay," Connor chimed in, seeing what I was trying to do, and that I may need some help.

"My other knee, and like it's kinda going down into my private area." She blushed at having to tell four males, and basically a crowd of strangers this piece of information.

"Just there? Or the whole area?" Dave called from down by her leg.

"Whole area," she whispered clearly terrified.

"Okay,I can't really see a whole lot with all these layers in the way, but when the help arrives we'll take a look," he explained moving up towards her head slightly so he could talk to her more easily.

"No don't touch it! Dave! Please!" she begged hysterically, tears once again running down her face. He was quick to notice the change in her demenor, and acted quickly to try and calm the situation again.

"I'm not going to hurt you honey, but I need to have a look so we can assess how bad your injuries are." The look of pity and sympathy on his face was one I saw was shared with the two other guys as I looked to each of them.

The pain she was describing was consistent with sciatic pain.  If what we were all thinking was correct,  then she was doing a great job at hiding her discomfort.

We all shared a knowing look. On the one hand it was good that she could feel her legs and pelvic area.  But sciatic pain was excruciating at the best of times, and now was not that.

We spent the remaining time trying to keep her calm, and alert.  Both of which were proving difficult, especially as the initial shock wore off and the gravity of the situation she was set in. This was compounded when she somehow overheard Brian and Dave discussing the fact that they would need to remove the clothing on the bottom half of her body to stem the bleeding and stabilise her legs.

"No please!" She begged again, it was clear from the way her voice shook as she spoke that not only was she done,  but she was terrified. But she couldn't give up yet, she needed to fight. We needed her to fight, it was proven that patients who believed in their recovery were much more likely to live a full life after experiencing trauma. I sat next to her for a minute trying not to cry myself, as I watched Connor try to calm her. Then it came to me.

"Sweetheart listen to me," I spoke looking her right in the eye. "Right now the most important thing is that we get you to the hospital  in the most stable condition possible.  We think you've got a fractured fibia,  and you definitely have a dislocated knee and potential ciatic damage. Trust me when I say the least of your problems is being slightly exposed in front of your brother and his friends. We're all doctors. We've seen it all before princess. Nothing's going to happen,”I promised.

"But what if they can't fix me?" she whispered so quietly that I almost didn't catch it. I was slightly taken aback by the question. Luckily Brian had stood moments before reaching for the pocket knife that he always kept in his backpack when she voiced the fear, and so he was the one to answer.

"You listen to me Poppet," he started in a gentle yet commanding voice.  "You're going to be just fine. You've got four of the best doctors in the area working on you right now."

"Im just scared," she responded, small tears rolling down her face and mixing with the blood that had started to dry from the laceration on her head.

"Ester your brother here is the head of the Emergency Response team, Connor's the head of PEDs, Dave's the head of Ortho and I'm of the Cardiovascular Department.  You are completely safe okay. I know it may not seen like it right now, but you will be okay." His tone softened slighty when he saw that she seemed to be taking on board what he was saying. "You're doing great Poppet," he added, gently stroking the side of her face, as she looked up at him.

"Tell me everything?" she asked some uncertainty still evident from the way she was gripping my hand like a vice.

" Of course, Princess you're in charge!" he agreed before saluting her jokingly. This seemed to lift her spirits a bit, as a small smile graced her face. " I'll even make you a deal. You let us do what we need to do and I'll make sure you have all the chocolate you can eat when you're discharged."

"Thanks Bri," I whispered when she wasn't paying attention. 

" Don't sweat it! Just doing my bit.”

Third person

5 minutes later

None of the four young doctors could admit it, but they were all beyond relieved when the helicopter landed, and two paramedics stepped out, bringing with them all the gear they might need. “Who do we have here?” One of them asked as he knelt next to Ester.

“This is Ester, she’s my little sister. Twenty. We're not exactly sure what happened, but basically blunt trauma.” Shawn filled the new medics in as the three other doctors went about unpacking the several bags of medical supplies, getting ready to begin more in-depth observations and stabilisation before transfer to the hospital. “We've started some basic observations, but we were limited till you got here.Possible bruised spleen, broken ribs and collapsed lung with bruising, severe concussion, dislocated left shoulder, air in chest cavity. Possible spinal, elevated hr 135, increased breath sounds, unequal, left side diminished somewhat, deep laceration to the left leg, and severe fracture to the fibia, lacerations on the face, abdominal/thoracic, dislocated right knee and suspected sciatic nerve damage.”

As Shawn rattled off the long list of injuries that they had found just from the initial observations the gravity of the situation started to hit him and he found himself having to actively calm himself so that he was able to concentrate on helping his sister. He felt like a duck, sailing smoothly on top of the pond, and paddling furiously underneath. Luckily for him his friends were better at keeping their emotions in check than he was… at least in this situation.

Brian wasted no time,taking a stethoscope that one of the paramedics handed him and listening to Ester’s chest. “Yep, there’s definitely a collapsed lung. I can hear the air. I’m going to need to put a tube in.” he grimaced as he stepped back, allowing Shawn, who had come to a little more when the other medic had handed him the penlight he had been using and asked him to check that he was correct.

"Pupils are fixed and dialated, we need to get her off this mountain now. Someone hand me a knife and Connor, can you get a line in mate? Standard of saline and pain meds please."

"Princess can I have you're hand. I'm going to give you some stuff to make you a bit more comfortable," Connor explained as he went about gathering the necessary equipment, before locating a vein and cleaning the area. " Sharp scratch bubs," he warned before the metal broke the skin, causing her eyes to water slightly. "All done, you should start to feel a little more comfy in a minute," he smiled encouragingly as Ester lifted her hand and gave a thumbs up before taking his hand in hers.

"Ester we need to remove these pants so we can stop the bleeding and splint your knee and leg," Shawn spoke earning a groan.   "I know lovely," he agreed, feeling sorry for his sister.  It had to be humiliating to be exposed like this. "You're okay sweets," he added as she cried out when the doctors moved her limbs into place to gain better access to the effected areas.

" Here, can you suck on this for me?" he asked as he handed her the green whistle, a device that held pain medication, and often sent patients a little loopy. "It only works if you keep using it honey. Focus on breathing it in okay," Shawn spoke trying to keep his sister's attention anywhere but Dave and her legs.

"This is going to hurt like hell,"  Dave whispered. As he moved around to help Shawn start to maneuver her right leg. "Look at the knee cap. She's really done a number on herself."

"I know feel horrible. I'm her brother. I don't want to see her like this," Shawn knew he wasn't technically meant to be treating her, but right now it was exactly that,a technicality. He would be damned if he would let his sister suffer. 

It was only a matter of seconds before she was begging them to stop, but they all knew that it would be more painful to stop the process half way through so continued despite the increasingly desperate sobs of their patient."Ester listen to the sound of my voice Princess," Brian spoke when they had finished, both legs satisfactorily taken care of for the time being.

Once he had gotten her a little more calm he broke the next lot of bad news.

"I need to put a chest tube in, and I need you to be brave okay."

"No," she answered immediately trying to shake her head that was now restricted by a spinal collar.

" Listen to me," he continued, " Right now your lung has a hole in it, and air is building up in the wrong spot and stopping it from inflating properly."

No more was said as they all went about numbing her up,  but once the first incision was made they felt terrible.  None of them could understand how someone that was in so much pain hadn't passed out. Ordinarily they would have put her under, but with unknown injuries it was far from safe.

" And we've got it, " Connor spoke as he checked for breath sounds.

From there everything was much more smooth sailing. They finished hooking her up to the necessary equipment- blood pressure (low at 90/50),  heart rate 160 beats per minute, oximeter and oxygen. 

When they were finally ready to leave the surrounding crowd clapped for them, and yelled out well wishes for Ester,  though she didn't hear many as she was now so loopy from the green whistle that she was trying to tell Connor that she loved the way the sunlight lit his hair, and that he should think about going into modelling. When they all started laughing she looked around very indignantly (well as best as she could)  and told them to ' not even talk' which only caused them to laugh harder.

- 35 minutes later-

They arrived at the hospital and the whole process was started again.  CT scans, x-rays, ultrasounds and surgery the list went on.

"I honestly don't know how she didn't pass out." Brian sighed as he and Connor stood just outside the door to the room in the intensive care unit she had been assigned.

" Shock," Connor answered.

The conversation was cut short however when they heard her voice " No, just leave me alone!"

"But Ester, I need to check your obs. I need to make sure your temp has come up," Dave tried to reason as he and Shawn stood beside the bed looking dismayed. "You've done so well so far!"

-Ester-

There was so much going on, that even now in my own room, nurses were in and out of my room, doctors trying to ask questions, I couldn't catch a break, I hadn't even been able to pass out. What a way to spend your birthday.  As if on cue, Dave walked in, my chart in hand.

"No," I cried, "just let me sleep!"

"What's going on?" I heard Connor ask as he came to stand by my bed with Shawn (who hadn't left my side) and Dave.

" She won't let me do her obs,"  Dave sighed causing me to glare.

" I just want to sleep!"

"Come here bug, Shawn spoke opening his arms wide, knowing that above anything else I needed love.

"Can Dave finish checking your vitals now?"

"Fine." I conceded snuggling in to Shawn's side. Feeling the most comfortable I had all day. Little did I know, but that was the start of a very long recovery  One that had ups and downs. No matter how down hearted I got though the guys never gave up. They were my heroes, and I made sure to tell them  After Brian had gotten me my chocolate as he promised of course.

[bellathechildbitch]

Spending Quarantine with:

All might, Aizawa, and Present Mic HCS!

(I've read some with the students in 1-A but I haven't see one for my three little baby teachers so╮(. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)╭ why not write one myself)

All Might/Toshinori Yagi:

💪🏻He would watch the news 24/7 ngl

💪🏻Cuz of his weak immune system he kinda does have a reason to be worried about this whole.... Situation

💪🏻When he doesn't have to do any hero work you two spend your days in bed just chilling, you know?

💪🏻Y'all find something to entertain yourselves with

💪🏻You guys would read to each other

💪🏻Most likely read all the books in your home and the only "book" you guys didn't read was the dictionary. You guys read it.. and learned new words

💪🏻Helping him with modern slang because y'all have plenty of time to do it now so why not 🤷🏻‍♀️

"Y/n.... What does "snatched my weave" mean?"

"Why do you need to know what that means...?"

"I sent a picture of us to Young Midoriya. And I forgot he didn't know we were together and he told me that his weave was snatched.....so his hair was fake this whole time.?But I couldn't of "snatched" it becau-"

"Toshi...it is just a slang word... That everyone uses now and days."

He smiled "Is that so? well then Y/n you have snatched my weave as well"

"TOSHINORI THAT'S NOT HOW YOU USE IT"

💪🏻He doesn't mind being inside for a long period of time he kinda enjoys it

💪🏻I can imagine him cleaning random things

"Why are you using a Clorox wipe to clean... The Clorox wipes...."

"well I have already cleaned everything else here."

You raise your hands in the air in defeat and slowly walk out

💪🏻In the evening time you would sit on the couch and he would lay his head on your lap and sometimes you would have music playing in the background or y'all just watch a movie

💪🏻Helping him with online work

💪🏻Pretty chill quarantine partner ngl

Eraserhead/ Shouta Aizawa:

🧶 Quarantine is like heaven for him????

🧶No students, no work, just peace and quiet.

🧶...

🧶until they started online school

🧶but before they started you guys would be in bed for a long time

🧶you👏best👏play👏with👏his👏hair👏while👏you👏guys👏are👏 cuddling 👏👏👏👏

🧶at one point during this quarantine you style his hair sometimes he just wears the hairstyle around the house. Sometimes he has a man bun, braids, ponytail,pigtails , even french braids.

🧶He would just love to lay in bed with you in his arms

🧶But sadly he can't get what he wants all the time

🧶 Sometimes while you are cleaning or something he would be in his Sleeping bag and just lay in random spots of ur guys house/apartment and u would trip over him

"Hey aizawa look at this cat video I saw on facebo-" THUMP

There you went face first on to the wooden floor

"Watch where your going...." He would say as he fell back asleep again

🧶He won't show it but he is worried for his students and he misses them D:

🧶He as well would be .... A really chill person to spend quarantine with

Present Mic/ Yamada Hizashi:

🔊 have fun being annoyed 25/8

🔊out of everyone you could of spent quarantine with you had to pick the loudest child ever......

🔊Hizashi doesn't want to be cooped up in a small house all day...

🔊that's boring as hell

🔊If you need to go to the store to get somethings you were running low on he would LITERALLY GO ON HIS KNEES AND BEG TO COME WITH YOUUU

"Alright Mic imma head ou-"

"PLEASE Y/N LET ME COME WITH YOUUUUUUU" he cried as he was on the floor holding your ankles like that was going to stop you from leaving

🔊He will be a happy little puppy when u let him go with u

🔊if you leave him behind he will sulk in the corner until u come back

🔊He does his radio show at home.

🔊Sometimes you are his special guest

🔊Him missing his student

🔊He sometimes would miss them so much he would start rambling about them

🔊Will pester you almost every five minutes

🔊The guy is just bored cut him some slack D:

🔊I wouldn't say he would be a chill person to spend quarantine with but more like.... Hmmm...... Interesting? No that's not it.....he is slightly obnoxious .... Eh he would be just obnoxious and a bit annoying

🔊JUST GIVE HIM SOMETHING TO DO AND U WILL BE OKAY

(first mha imagine hope it's good??? I didn't think so but who knows maybe u guys will enjoy it??? And the first gif isn't mine I found it on Pinterest so credit goes to the person who made it. Anyway stay safe, stay healthy and remember you are loved!!!! Good bye 💜💜💜💜 -Bella🖤)

[st4rs1lver]

my fault, not yours. || bakugou katsuki

pairing : bakugou katsuki x f!werewolf!eventual villain!reader

genre : angst

words : about 1.3k.

tw : i tried to refrain from bad language as much as possible because i had to type this up on a school computer, so it might be slightly ooc. also hints of a dark past, suicide, supernatural being(s)?

please don't read if you're uncomfortable with anything listed above. other than that, i hope uou enjoy :)

their story began like this.

bakugou katsuki is one of, if not the most, noticeable students of ua's class 1-a. known for his explosive quirk and personality to match, it is no surprise that he has thrown some harsh words around that has hurt his peers.

(l/n) (y/n) was one of them.

as harsh as it may sound, she's considered fairly average for being in the top class of first years. (h/c) hair, (e/c) eyes, and a fit physique as is required of hero school students. her quirk, sound manipuation... a little overpowered in use. this was one of the reasons why bakugou picked on her. how heavily she relies on her quirk, how she tires easily during sparring. heck, even her chest size - everything was under the boy's scrutiny.

he's smart, sure. but there's a lot of things he didn't know.

he didn't know how she used over half of her energy, trying to contain her immense power to avoid injuring eveyrone around her. he didn't know what she was, who she was and he picked on her nonetheless. he didn't know what happened to her in the past, what her parents did to her. but above all, he didn't know that she loved him.

if he had, then perhaps all of this would have been prevented.

i'm so sorry.

a car swung through the air, nearly crashing into deku. seeing this, shouto quickly froze the vehicle seconds before it found its target. the green-haired pro-hero thanked his heterochromatic counterpart, the latter responding with a nod.

"we need to get this sorted out. siren is getting stronger by the minute, we have no time to lose."

"exactly, you idiots! get the pedestrians! i'm going after her!

"wait, but how do you know that siren's a female--"

before deku could finish his question, the male was already off with a bang - literally.

soaring overhead, ground zero could see above the cloud of smoke, making out the telltale rings of destruction and familar red waves radiating from a crater in the concrete below.

red, huh?

ceasing his explosions once he got close enough, bakugou sailed in through the gray clouds of debris and landed right behind the female figure in the center. he stood up, dusted his hands off, and stood still. everything was silent around them.

through the shadows, bakugou could see the furry ears on top of the female's head twitch. without turning around, she muttered a single word. no, name.

"katsuki."

with this one sound, the deceptive peace shattered around them, and immediately the two clashed in an explosion of red.

they were evenly matched; each blow would be countered with another from the opposing party. so the fight continued, as the world around them fell away, each person caught in their own chaos, fighting their own battle. the dark night skies glittered with bloodlust, flavored with smog, seasoned with uplifted earth. it was a dangerous kind of beauty. nostalgia.

regret.

she could remember those days, when she would be quietly pining after hiom, admiring his strength, ambition, looks. the days when, even if he were cruel to her, she would still remain by his side and love him through his scars. she remembered that day, when she had been planning to leave ua, but got caught by bakugou. terrified of the possibility of having her plans be revealed to the population of the school, she had shut him up with a kiss, and fled.

he remembered those days when he would not notice her except to shove her out of the way, intent on reaching his goal. but now that he did, he felt empty. as if something was missing. he had thrown away the one that thing he had been wanting all along. she had become so scarred that she could not love him anymore.

oh, how the tables have turned.

with another nitroglycerin explosion, bakugou managed to blast the villain onto the rooftop of the tallest building in the city. once he had also made his way onto the skycraper, he sized her up, feeling her do so to him as well. both were covered in cuts and bruises, clothes matted with blood and grime. neither budged from their spot, neither in a defensive stance. they were simply standing still, relaxed as if trusting that the other would not harm them. the irony was enough to make one laugh, if only this weren't such an unbefitting situation.

"katsuki."

"don't call me that."

he immediately snapped back, just like the old days.

like the old days.

siren chuckled. the hero could hear the melancholy fatigue in her voice. her laugh, once bright and happy, now dulled to a blank slate. and yet, her voice remained as beautiful as ever.

“bakugou.”

he kept his silence. taking this as a sign to continue, the girl sighed and took off her mask.

"it's been a while."

"so it has."

(l/n) smiled - it was a small, genuine smile, but it was weary.

"i'll get to the point, i suppose. i know that you know that i loved you."

this sentence took his breath away.

i didn't then... but i do now.

"i know you probably hate me."

shut up. i don't.

"so... i wanted to apologize."

"idiot, what are you apologizing for?!"

her smile dropped. "for loving you. for caring when you didn't want me to. for what i'm about to do - what i've wanted to do for years now, frankly. you told midoriya to take a swan dive off the roof... and while i'm not midoriya, i think you want me to fulfill that request just as badly--"

"i don't hate you! i never did, and i still don't."

the smile was back. "i'm glad."

"so don't do this!"

she shook her head. "katsuki..." she took a deep breath. "katsuki... i love you. and i know that it took a long time for you to come around and all but... trust me, if i could, i would come back. i would pretend like nothing happened and be myself again. i would come back... to be with you. but... things have changed. and maybe-- maybe if society were willing, i could prove how much i want that - to be normal - but it's not possible now, is it? once a villain, always a villain. the same couldn't be said for a wannabe hero, especially after all i've done. all that's happened to me and made me... do things i regret. i've done to much. i never really wanted this... i regret it all."

he swallowed, and seeing that he was going to interrupt, she shook her head and silenced him again.

"i don't want you to regret anything like i do. i know that you're going to say that my parents did this and i'm not at fault, but in all reality, i was the one who chose to solve my problems in this terrible way and i couldn't find someone to give me the help that i needed. above all, please never blame yourself for this. you wanted to be a hero, not to have a relationship with some girl with issues. and i respect that. there are much better people out there that are stronger than me, more beautiful and aren't burdened by things that could easily make them go insane and lash out... like me. because i don't want you to be in danger because of me. hurting you genuinely is the last thing i would ever wish to do. love someone that isn't a monster, like me. please. love someone... that isn't me."

"but i only want you! you can make it right again! it'll be okay! if you let them know, if you told them what happened... if you believed in yourself like i believe in you..." he sobbed.

"please, katsuki. if not for yourself... than for me."

the werewolf female watched as he crumbled, her heart aching with his. he could form no coherent words as he cried into his calloused palms.

the great ground zero, at the peak of his career with a right future, was slowly breaking down for a lowly, hybrid, villain.

"hey, katsuki." her calm voice was quiet, commanding almost. he felt compelled to look. sniffing, he raised his head.

with some difficulty, (y/n) mustered her brightest, happiest smile, reminding him of when she was still an innocent classmate of his. then, he remembered the day that she ran away, eventually proclaimed allegedly dead. that day, she had given him this same smile. he had to keep this secret for years, the knowledge of her departure tormenting him, knowing it was partially his fault that he didn't prevent her from leaving. and today, she gave him this beautiful, terrible smile once more.

he clambered to his feet, horror painting his face and his heart.

"i'm sorry."

"no, no, no, no--"

he was too late, she was already gone.

bakugou katsuki, one of if not the most, powerful of heroes. he's known for his easily distinguishable quirk, with a personality and looks to match.

(l/n) (y/n), a misfortunate soul, losing her life to the light of her life.

their story ended like this.

[pinkpeonyprincessblog]

My Heroes

-Ester-

“Are you sure you want to do this?" Shawn asked, looking down the snow covered mountain and back at me. He looked petrified. Something which I found hilarious considering he regularly went into dangerous situations, putting his own life at risk to help others. He was an Emergency Response Doctor and worked both in the hospital and out in the field, quite often in highly dangerous and ‘touch and go’ situations.

The other guys laughed at his uncertainty. “We'll be fine Shawn,” Connor, one of my brother’s friends, and a fellow doctor spoke.  They had all taken me for a ski getaway for an early birthday present.They all work as doctors, Connor in PEDs, Dave in Orthopedics and Brian as a heart surgeon.

“We’ve done this route about ten times already,” Brian added.

"Yeah, you have,” My brother spoke, emphasising the fact that he had not be present on previous occasions.

"Just shut up!" I commanded, sighing. "I'm going. Who's with me?" I asked, a smile starting at the thought of the thrill we were all about to get.

A chorus "yeahs" and "hell yeahs" returned, and then we were off. All racing one another down the mountain. I couldn't see the others, who must have been a few metres behind me, but I knew they were there, and desperately wanted to turn to try and catch a glimpse of Shawn making his way down the mountain.

The wind was exhilarating! So fresh, and clean compared to life back in the city. I found my mind wondering slightly as I made my way further down the track, having already down it several times, I didn't feel like I needed to be as cautious. Boy was I wrong!

I was making my way around what I thought to be the final bend in the course, when I was faced with a massive pile of freshly placed snow. They had changed the course trajectory, and there was nothing I could do about it now. Rocketing as I was towards the freezing wall.

My body hit it with such force that the air was literally knocked out of me for a few seconds, but worse than that was the fact that my left leg went one way, and the rest of my body, the other, I heard the snap, before the pain consumed me. The next few minutes were a blur of fear and agony. I was too cold, and in too much shock and pain to even cry out for help, so when Connor finally came to a skidding holt beside me I was a blubbering mess.

"Ester, can you hear me honey?" he asked, taking my hand and pinching my thumb to try and elicit some sort of response. He let go when I groaned,just wanting him to make the pain go away. Not to cause more. And where was my brother? I was a barely twenty year old, stuck on a snow covered mountain, on my birthday severely injured. I needed Shawn.

Within a matter of minutes there were more hands on me, a flurry of activity and noise that I could hardly decipher. "What the hell happend?" Someone asked, Dave I think.

"I'm not entirely sure, but I came round the corner, and she was here, I haven't started vitals yet, but she did respond to pain stimuli which is a start." I could feel myself teetering on the edge as the two doctors spoke, but I wasn't going to give in. I didn't want to be unconscious in the middle of nowhere as my brother and his friends worked on me. Reaching my hand up I tried to feel for one of their hands, but when I felt nothing I began to get frustrated.

"Ester, can you hear me honey?" The same voice from before spoke. Definitely Dave. This was confirmed when I managed to open my eyes and found him smiling grimly back at me.

In that moment my head wasn't straight and before I'd even processed what my body was doing, I was moving. As I tried and failed to sit up, ignoring the intense pain that was coming from my shoulder and pelvic area, I managed to catch a glimpse of the ground surrounding the lower part of my body. It was red, red as if someone had obtained a can of red paint and discarded it carelessly into the snow. Shock took over as I realised the source of the vibrant liquid. Me. I suddenly felt very faint, and could feel my chest tightening.

"Ester, honey, you have to stay still. I'm pretty sure judging by the angle of your arm that your shoulder is dislocated. You'll only hurt yourself more. Let us look after you okay. Let us do our jobs." Connor half chastised, half begged me as he helped me to situate myself again.

"My leg, there so much blood!" I gasped feeling quezy at the sight of my mangelled limb.

"Sweets, don't watch okay, it'll just make it worse, you have to try and stay still okay? We don't know how much damage you've done until we can get you to the hospital." Connor explained grabbing my hand again in comfort.

I lay there not really aware of what was going on around me just wishing I could be anywhere but here. "Ester, baby?" Finally I broke out of my state and came to reality.

"Shawn?" I whispered, making eye contact with him as he lent over me.

"I'm right here, bug, I've got you. I'm going to unzip this jacket for a minute okay sweets, we need to see what other injuries you have." he explained, before carefully but quickly removing my only source of warmth, immediately earning a moan of protest.

"Shhhh, Just a minute okay, then we'll get you extra rugged up okay?" Brian spoke for the first time, removing the bag he had been carrying from his back and starting to remove blankets.

I had laughed at him earlier in the morning, remarking that it was as if he was going for a camp out in the snow, not for a mere ride on the trails, but now I couldn't help but feel extremely greatful.

"Right, Princess, you're  breathing way too fast at the moment. I know you're in pain, and you're probably scared. But I need you to try and slow it down." Brian spoke as he moved the last layer of clothing covering my stomach. There was no disguising the sharp intake of breath as he surveyed my mid-section. Everyone was silent for a minute as Brian examined me ever so gently. The others watching his every move. I couldn't help but feel slightly like a bug under a microscope, especially given the crowd that had started to form. It felt like every two minutes someone new was asking the guys if they had called for an ambulance. The answer to which each of them took in turns to patiently answer with a "yes", reassuring the by-standers that they were doctors, and knew what they were dealing with.

"Connor, I can't be sure, but I think she's got some broken ribs, her breathing is inhibited, and she's got some serious bruising forming, her left shoulder is well and truly dislocated too." Dave finally spoke, agreeing with Connor's theory, before starting to readjust my clothing, protecting me from the bitter cold.

" It's possible that it's internal bleeding or a bruised spleen." Brian put in as they all shared a little glance above my head.

I couldn't help the groan that left my mouth as this new information sunk in. They thought I was bleeding from the inside out?

"Ester, I need you to tell me where it hurts honey," Shawn spoke, holding my hand in silent comfort. When I didn't respond Connor took my hand and pinched my finger once again.

"Ow!" I glared up at him, earning a smile.

"Good to see the princess is still as feisty as ever!" This caused everyone to laugh. Even me, but the fun was short-lived, as my body was once again bathed in pain.

"Make it stop!" I begged, squirming around uncomfortably.

"Just stay still baby." Shawn tried to sooth me while also trying to help Dave.

"But it hurts and I'm cold." my teeth chartered as if agreeing with what I just said.

"I know you are princess," Brian spoke softly.  I sighed before starting to close my eyes.  All I wanted to do was sleep.  "Hey, follow my finger okay," he called, trying to get my attention. Begrudgingly I opened my eyes again, and was met by glare that immediately made me squint. I did as asked though, before I heard him answer a question I hadn't heard be asked.

"Definate concussion, pupils unequal and slow to respond, though it's hard to tell the full extent here without the proper equipment. Keep her talking Shawn."  Brian muttered, moving around my body to help Dave with whatever he was doing.

"Wow," I heard him let out a low whistle, my heart rate spiking in response.

"Brian!" Dave groaned,  seeing the panic that had begun to set in.  "Would you keep it down.  The poor kid's heart is already racing,  and you're not making it any better.  You're terrifying her," he spoke.  Stopping whatever he was doing to look up.  "Ester, can you feel this honey?" he asked, before I felt an odd sensation on my foot. Nonetheless I could feel it,  so I nodded causing all four of the doctors to such in relief.

"That's good news Princess.  It means your leg isn't as bad as we first thought! " Connor looked much more excited than I felt, but I smiled back as convincingly as I could in my haze. I tuned out for a few minutes, but soon what they were saying caught my attention. Well some of it. Something about having to "apply pressure to my leg" to stop the bleeding, and sedation. That was all it took before I started to panic again.

"Just take nice deep, slow breathes Princess, you can do it, here give me your hand, " Shawn spoke, noticing my obvious terror and changed breathing. I couldn't believe how calm he was as he took my hand gently in his own again , and laid it against his chest. "Copy me. In, out, in out, that's it," he praised as I finally managed to follow his lead. "They won't hurt you bug." I wasn't sure I trusted him,  but the sincerity and intensity with which he met my gaze won me over.

"Oh-okay," I spoke in barely a whisper. My head was starting to hurt from the noise.  The crowd, the guys conversing with one another.  "But my leg," I whimpered as another round of panic hit me.

"Look at me bug," Shawn commanded,leaning over me, blocking out the surrounding crowd that had previously filled my peripheral vision.  "I won't let them hurt you. Hell, they'd rather die than hurt you.  We're not going to do anything until help gets here okay? We can't, it wouldn't be safe." he added as if to try and make his point even clearer.

-Shawn-

10 minutes later

As I stood waiting for the stupid satellite phone we had been given by the service people at the bottom of the run, I couldn't quite believe what I was seeing. There was my baby sister, who was meant to be celebrating her 20th birthday, laying in the snow, half- conscious with a flood of blood coming from a gash on  her left leg along with what looked like a probable fibia fracture, another open wound on her head,  and bruises so bad after only a few minutes that she looked more like a blueberry and less like a person.

Finally the phone connected and I was put through to the Emergency Department. This is doctor Shawn Mendes  head of Emergency Response. We have an incoming pediatric trauma with an eta of 45 minutes possibly an hour."

After going though the motions all the while being consumed with worry and guilt,  I made my way back over to Ester. Connor who had taken over comforting her for me, looked up, his expression bleak, and somewhat pained.

"It's not great mate, Brian's pretty sure she's got air in her lungs, and she's about to pass out."

I felt my own heart rate rise as I took in my sister's form. Shaking my head slightly to try and clear my mind I nodded "Helicopter is about 2 minutes out. The hospital just got a GPS location on it."

"Ester look at me," I called moving to lean over her again so she could see me without moving. "I need you to stay awake okay? Can you do that honey?"

She made the smallest noise to indicate "yes", before going quiet again.  Whether it was the shock or she was simply in so much pain she didn't know how to process it, the silence was concerning, and as a doctor, my biggest concern was to keep her talking.

"Tell me what else hurts okay," Connor chimed in, seeing what I was trying to do, and that I may need some help.

"My other knee, and like it's kinda going down into my private area." She blushed at having to tell four males, and basically a crowd of strangers this piece of information.

"Just there? Or the whole area?" Dave called from down by her leg.

"Whole area," she whispered clearly terrified.

"Okay,I can't really see a whole lot with all these layers in the way, but when the help arrives we'll take a look," he explained moving up towards her head slightly so he could talk to her more easily.

"No don't touch it! Dave! Please!" she begged hysterically, tears once again running down her face. He was quick to notice the change in her demenor, and acted quickly to try and calm the situation again.

"I'm not going to hurt you honey, but I need to have a look so we can assess how bad your injuries are." The look of pity and sympathy on his face was one I saw was shared with the two other guys as I looked to each of them.

The pain she was describing was consistent with sciatic pain.  If what we were all thinking was correct,  then she was doing a great job at hiding her discomfort.

We all shared a knowing look. On the one hand it was good that she could feel her legs and pelvic area.  But sciatic pain was excruciating at the best of times, and now was not that.

We spent the remaining time trying to keep her calm, and alert.  Both of which were proving difficult, especially as the initial shock wore off and the gravity of the situation she was set in. This was compounded when she somehow overheard Brian and Dave discussing the fact that they would need to remove the clothing on the bottom half of her body to stem the bleeding and stabilise her legs.

"No please!" She begged again, it was clear from the way her voice shook as she spoke that not only was she done,  but she was terrified. But she couldn't give up yet, she needed to fight. We needed her to fight, it was proven that patients who believed in their recovery were much more likely to live a full life after experiencing trauma. I sat next to her for a minute trying not to cry myself, as I watched Connor try to calm her. Then it came to me.

"Sweetheart listen to me," I spoke looking her right in the eye. "Right now the most important thing is that we get you to the hospital  in the most stable condition possible.  We think you've got a fractured fibia,  and you definitely have a dislocated knee and potential ciatic damage. Trust me when I say the least of your problems is being slightly exposed in front of your brother and his friends. We're all doctors. We've seen it all before princess. Nothing's going to happen,”I promised.

"But what if they can't fix me?" she whispered so quietly that I almost didn't catch it. I was slightly taken aback by the question. Luckily Brian had stood moments before reaching for the pocket knife that he always kept in his backpack when she voiced the fear, and so he was the one to answer.

"You listen to me Poppet," he started in a gentle yet commanding voice.  "You're going to be just fine. You've got four of the best doctors in the area working on you right now."

"Im just scared," she responded, small tears rolling down her face and mixing with the blood that had started to dry from the laceration on her head.

"Ester your brother here is the head of the Emergency Response team, Connor's the head of PEDs, Dave's the head of Ortho and I'm of the Cardiovascular Department.  You are completely safe okay. I know it may not seen like it right now, but you will be okay." His tone softened slighty when he saw that she seemed to be taking on board what he was saying. "You're doing great Poppet," he added, gently stroking the side of her face, as she looked up at him.

"Tell me everything?" she asked some uncertainty still evident from the way she was gripping my hand like a vice.

" Of course, Princess you're in charge!" he agreed before saluting her jokingly. This seemed to lift her spirits a bit, as a small smile graced her face. " I'll even make you a deal. You let us do what we need to do and I'll make sure you have all the chocolate you can eat when you're discharged."

"Thanks Bri," I whispered when she wasn't paying attention. 

" Don't sweat it! Just doing my bit.”

Third person

5 minutes later

None of the four young doctors could admit it, but they were all beyond relieved when the helicopter landed, and two paramedics stepped out, bringing with them all the gear they might need. “Who do we have here?” One of them asked as he knelt next to Ester.

“This is Ester, she’s my little sister. Twenty. We're not exactly sure what happened, but basically blunt trauma.” Shawn filled the new medics in as the three other doctors went about unpacking the several bags of medical supplies, getting ready to begin more in-depth observations and stabilisation before transfer to the hospital. “We've started some basic observations, but we were limited till you got here.Possible bruised spleen, broken ribs and collapsed lung with bruising, severe concussion, dislocated left shoulder, air in chest cavity. Possible spinal, elevated hr 135, increased breath sounds, unequal, left side diminished somewhat, deep laceration to the left leg, and severe fracture to the fibia, lacerations on the face, abdominal/thoracic, dislocated right knee and suspected sciatic nerve damage.”

As Shawn rattled off the long list of injuries that they had found just from the initial observations the gravity of the situation started to hit him and he found himself having to actively calm himself so that he was able to concentrate on helping his sister. He felt like a duck, sailing smoothly on top of the pond, and paddling furiously underneath. Luckily for him his friends were better at keeping their emotions in check than he was… at least in this situation.

Brian wasted no time,taking a stethoscope that one of the paramedics handed him and listening to Ester’s chest. “Yep, there’s definitely a collapsed lung. I can hear the air. I’m going to need to put a tube in.” he grimaced as he stepped back, allowing Shawn, who had come to a little more when the other medic had handed him the penlight he had been using and asked him to check that he was correct.

"Pupils are fixed and dialated, we need to get her off this mountain now. Someone hand me a knife and Connor, can you get a line in mate? Standard of saline and pain meds please."

"Princess can I have you're hand. I'm going to give you some stuff to make you a bit more comfortable," Connor explained as he went about gathering the necessary equipment, before locating a vein and cleaning the area. " Sharp scratch bubs," he warned before the metal broke the skin, causing her eyes to water slightly. " All done, you should start to feel a little more comfy in a minute," he smiled encouragingly as Ester lifted her hand and gave a thumbs up before taking his hand in hers.

"Ester we need to remove these pants so we can stop the bleeding and splint your knee and leg," Shawn spoke earning a groan.   "I know lovely," he agreed, feeling sorry for his sister.  It had to be humiliating to be exposed like this. "You're okay sweets," he added as she cried out when the doctors moved her limbs into place to gain better access to the effected areas.

" Here, can you suck on this for me?" he asked as he handed her the green whistle, a device that held pain medication, and often sent patients a little loopy. "It only works if you keep using it honey. Focus on breathing it in okay," Shawm spoke trying to keep his sister's attention anywhere but Dave and her legs.

"This is going to hurt like hell,"  Dave whispered. As he moved around to help Shawn start to maneuver her right leg. "Look at the knee cap. She's really done a number on herself."

"I know feel horrible. I'm her brother. I don't want to see her like this," Shawn knew he wasn't technically meant to be treating her, but right now it was exactly that,a technicality. He would be damned if he would let his sister suffer. 

It was only a matter of seconds before she was begging them to stop, but they all knew that it would be more painful to stop the process half way through so continued despite the increasingly desperate sobs of their patient."Ester listen to the sound of my voice Princess," Brian spoke when they had finished, both legs satisfactorily taken care of for the time being.

Once he had gotten her a little more calm he broke the next lot of bad news.

"I need to put a chest tube in, and I need you to be brave okay."

"No," she answered immediately trying to shake her head that was now restricted by a spinal collar.

" Listen to me," he continued, " Right now your lung has a hole in it, and air is building up in the wrong spot and stopping it from inflating properly."

No more was said as they all went about numbing her up,  but once the first incision was made they felt terrible.  None of them could understand how someone that was in so much pain hadn't passed out. Ordinarily they would have put her under, but with unknown injuries it was far from safe.

" And we've got it, " Connor spoke as he checked for breath sounds.

From there everything was much more smooth sailing. They finished hooking her up to the necessary equipment- blood pressure (low at 90/50),  heart rate 160 beats per minute, oximeter and oxygen. 

When they were finally ready to leave the surrounding crowd clapped for them, and yelled out well wishes for Ester,  though she didn't hear many as she was now so loopy from the green whistle that she was trying to tell Connor that she loved the way the sunlight lit his hair, and that he should think about going into modelling. When they all started laughing she looked around very indignantly (well as best as she could)  and told them to ' not even talk' which only caused them to laugh harder.

- 35 minutes later-

They arrived at the hospital and the whole process was started again.  CT scans, x-rays, ultrasounds and surgery the list went on.

"I honestly don't know how she didn't pass out." Brian sighed as he and Connor stood just outside the door to the room in the intensive care unit she had been assigned.

" Shock," Connor answered.

The conversation was cut short however when they heard her voice " No, just leave me alone!"

"But Ester, I need to check your obs. I need to make sure your temp has come up," Dave tried to reason as he and Shawn stood beside the bed looking dismayed. "You've done so well so far!"

-Ester-

There was so much going on, that even now in my own room, nurses were in and out of my room, doctors trying to ask questions, I couldn't catch a break, I hadn't even been able to pass out. What a way to spend your birthday.  As if on cue, Dave walked in, my chart in hand.

"No," I cried, "just let me sleep!"

"What's going on?" I heard Connor ask as he came to stand by my bed with Shawn (who hadn't left my side) and Dave.

" She won't let me do her obs,"  Dave sighed causing me to glare.

" I just want to sleep!"

"Come here bug, Shawn spoke opening his arms wide, knowing that above anything else I needed love.

"Can Dave finish checking your vitals now?"

"Fine." I conceded snuggling in to Shawn's side. Feeling the most comfortable I had all day. Little did I know, but that was the start of a very long recovery  One that had ups and downs. No matter how down hearted I got though the guys never gave up. They were my heroes, and I made sure to tell them  After Brian had gotten me my chocolate as he promised of course.

[z-iridest]

(A/N: Hey guys! Sooo, this is my first one shot here on Tumblr, featuring Todoroki due to a rush of creativity coming to me. The inspiration is a matchup I requested from none other than @lxvely-mha ^.^, so this little one shot is my way of saying a huge thank you! Hope you guys enjoy this piece featuring my oc [literally me XD]. Little heads up, this will be in her point of view... Feel free to request from me if you liked it ^.^)

There's three things I know for sure. One: I'm not the most confident person... Thanks to bullying I had endure most of my life, my self confidence isn't that high, especially when it comes to my body. I'm only 5 foot 4 inches tall... Mind you, I'm only an inch below average height, but my weight... not so average. I had stopped checking on it some time ago because I was scared that a much bigger triple digit number was going to pop up the next time I stood on a scale.

Two: If I ever do feel confident, it's usually when I'm either listening to music, writing or singing. I'm not exactly creative enough to write lyrics and compose the music... But, for the composing part, I don't really have an excuse due to having a music genius for a best friend. There are times I feel like Kyoka Jirou should have been my sister.... That girl knows me better than anyone else at U.A....

Three: I'm deeply and irrevocably in love with my boyfriend. It's actually pretty funny how we ended up together. We didn't actually start talking until after the Sports Festival, and Midoriya was the one who introduced me to him. Shoto Todoroki... I wasn't too open with Shoto when we first met if I'm being honest, but I found out pretty quick how interested he was in me. Everytime we had to pair up for projects and we got to choose, he always ended up making his way toward me. I swear, as soon as our friends started seeing us together more and more, it was teasing left and right from the girls. It honestly wasn't too long before I started noticing our friends starting to get us into situations where we were alone together... Hell, everyone in our class started shipping us. It all built up to when we first moved into the dorms...

Shoto and I had been in the kitchen at the same time, Kaminari and Kirishima talking amongst each other while Shoto and I were talking. I have no idea which one did it, but a sudden force knocked me forward toward Shoto. I had braced myself to hit the wall, but I felt something warmer than that under my hands. When I looked up, I realized I was in Shoto's arms, with my hands on his chest, and much to my own embarrassment, I started blushing redder than the left side of his hair. As embarrassing as the situation was, I couldn't look away from his eyes... Those beautiful, enchanting heterochromatic eyes, and those eyes... Were right... On... Me. There was this look I had never seen in his eyes before, but it wasn't bad at all... The look in his eyes almost seemed... Longing, but there was so much love behind them, I couldn't look away even if I wanted to. We had confessed at the same time, and shared a good laugh over it.

That was a couple months ago...

In the span of a couple months, we had opened up to each other a little bit more. Shoto had seen how competitive I could be first hand, thanks to the Sports Festival, he already knew how stubborn and closed off I was since it had taken me months just to open up to him a little while we were just friends. Only two days into our relationship, embarrassingly enough, he found out about my tendency to ramble... I had been talking about a day out with the girls and how much they had bombarded me with questions before training had started. When I had looked up at him, he was staring at me with the softest look on his face, his chin in his palm and his head tilted. I'm not gonna lie, I almost squealed because he looked like an attentive puppy. It was so cute!

Best part about being with Shoto? Cuddles. Oh my god, you have not lived until you cuddle with Shoto. I don't think Shoto lets even one day pass without wrapping his arms around me at least once, but hey, I'm not complaining. Whether it's cuddling in one of our rooms, hugging for a quick moment because our schedules only allow a second of us time, or Shoto wrapping his arms around me from behind while we talk with our friends, Shoto's hugs are just the right temperature for comfort, thanks to his quirk. I'm not gonna lie, I think I've messed up my sleep schedule way too many times because of how much I fall asleep in Shoto's arms. A majority of when we cuddle is usually when I'm writing. I'll be sitting on the couch, typing out a drabble or a one shot one of my readers requested (or a drabble about Shoto), and he'll just slip in behind me, put his legs on either side of me, and wrap his arms around me. He'll usually press a kiss to my temple as a way to tell me to lie back on him, which I gladly do everytime so my head ends up on his chest. He'll press kisses to my cheeks everytime he gets a chance, usually while we're cuddling. Hell, he'll pepper my face with kisses until I start giggling, and he only stops because he's too busy chuckling with me. Occasionally, I'll give him one of my earbuds and we'll listen to music together on Spotify while I write. If I'm not sleepy, that's my favorite way to cuddle...

And did I mention the cute little kisses Shoto gives me? I swear, Shoto makes it a point to kiss me at least once while we're cuddling together. But, my favorite times are when he gives me three: One on my forehead, one on the tip of my nose, and one on my lips.

But one thing's certain: I absolutely cannot be insecure around him. Oh boy, let me tell you, Shoto absolutely hates it if I even look insecure. If he catches me even looking like I'm thinking about doubting myself, he launches into the biggest lecture about how beautiful and perfect I am in his eyes. He lists everything he loves about me until I'm blushing a darker red than Kirishima's hair, and he always finishes with, "Don't ever doubt yourself, my love, because nothing can take you away from me. I will forever be your hero, your knight in shining armor. You are my princess, my greatest love, and as such, I will always come for you." As if his words weren't enough, he goes full on prince mode and kneels on one knee, pressing a kiss to the back of my hand. It makes me blush so dark everytime.

Now, if I'm ever next to him, he'll literally pull me onto his lap, and pepper my cheeks in kisses until I start giggling. As soon as I do, he gives me a tight hug and starts stroking my hair. He usually does it with his left hand, letting off just enough of his fire side to give me a comfortable warmth without burning me. He'd start humming or softly singing to me in my ear, and let me tell you.... My man can sing. He'll usually stroke my sides, my back or my hair as he sings, my head on his shoulder. Actually... That's usually how I fall asleep, being held close to my boyfriend, his soothing voice singing to me. But, even after the months of knowing him, Shoto has no idea that I can sing. I'm not as good as Jirou, who's the only one who knows about my ability to sing...

Well, one of the rare afternoons after class, Shoto had to do extra training with Midoriya and Iida, so I was left to do what I wished until Shoto got back. Since I was sweaty from hand to hand training against Ochaco, I decided on taking a shower. Once I got out, I dressed in sweatpants and a black tank top before sitting on my bed as I dried my auburn hair. I softly started humming before closing my eyes as I started to sing.

When tomorrow comes

I'll be on my own

Feeling frightened of

The things that I don't know

When tomorrow comes

Tomorrow comes

Tomorrow comes

And though the road is long

I look up to the sky

And in the dark I found,

I lost hope that I won't fly

And I sing along, I sing along

And I sing along

The chorus is when I really lost myself to the lyrics, thinking about Shoto. The song truly conveyed, in words I could never describe, how I felt about him all these months of knowing him.

I got all I need when I got you and I

I look around me, and see a sweet life

I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight

You're getting me, getting me through the night

Kick start my heart when you shine it in my eyes

Can't lie, it's a sweet life

I'm stuck in the dark but you're my flashlight

You're getting me, getting me through the night

'Cause you're my flashlight (flashlight)

You're my flashlight (flashlight)

You're my flashlight

"My love, you never told me you could sing like that." I jumped at the smooth and calm voice of my boyfriend, my eyes snapping open to see him standing in the doorway of my room. My eyes widened as all the heat rushed to my face. I'm pretty sure I broke the world record for darkest blush at that point... He was leaning against the doorframe, the most adoring look on his face as he looked at me with his head tilted in that adorable as hell way. Damn it, I could never think straight when he looked at me like that...

"H-How long have you..."

"I didn't mean to intrude, my love." Shoto told me as he walked toward me as he talked. "It's just that I had heard an angel's voice singing, only to find that the sweet angel I was hearing was no one but my princess." Shoto sat down next to me and I let out a squeak of embarrassment, making him chuckle before he pulled me into a hug, putting me on his lap like he always did. I hid my face in his shoulder out of embarrassment, but he merely rubbed my back. "My love, your voice is nothing to be ashamed of... Your voice is as beautiful as you." He pressed a kiss to my temple and it wasn't long before he made me sit up and sit in front of him. He picked up my hairbrush and started gently brushing out the knots as he picked up where I left off, my voice harmonizing with his. We smiled at each other as we kept singing, Shoto pulling me back to him as he laid back with me on his chest, his arms around me. I smiled as we sang together, our eyes never leaving the other, our fingers interlaced and our voices harmonizing together. He smiled up at me when we finished singing and pressed a sweet but passionate kiss against my lips.

Maybe I had only been with Shoto for a couple months, but I finally felt complete...

With him... I was finally home.

[creepy-crawley-crowley]

Naive - Crowley X Angel Female Reader

This was requested, and it was requested byyyyy: @adela-topaz-caelon

My lil request is a Crowley x Angel Reader where said Angel is an angel who was booted out of heaven because she's vaguely out of character for an angel, but is definitely one, and often helps the two men and they blatantly love each other but don't know, and Aziraphale is so tired of it, because he's noticed it since the beginning, and he just had enough. I don't mind if it's fluffy or smutty, or both, if you decide to take it on. I just would love your writing on this 😊

One: I FUCKING LOVE THIS REQUEST SO MUCH PLEASE SEND MORE I BEG YOU

Two: Oblivious but in love idiots are the best idiots haha

Warnings: uh, spicy at the end but it isn't full smut because I won't write full on smut like the furthest I will go is clothes removal you can imagine the rest.

You all know the drill, right? Gimme a shout if you wanna be on the taglist, too.

"Oh my, they are...hopeless! Oblivious! Absolutely...agh! Fools in love, that's what they are...ugh." Aziraphale groaned. He was pacing in the back room of his bookshop, fretting about his two closest friends.

Now, the context of this situation: Crowley, a demon, Aziraphale's best friend, is hopelessly in love with Y/N, an Angel, also Aziraphale's best friend. She's also hopelessly in love with Crowley. Why is Aziraphale so annoyed? Because they're so obvious! But yet neither of them seem to notice.

See, it all started at the start, in the Garden Of Eden. Aziraphale was stood on the wall, watching Adam and Eve, yada yada, and Y/N was with him. Y/N was...unique. She'd been kicked out of heaven for being...out of character. Hadn't fallen, though, not really, much to Aziraphale's delight.

And then Crowley came along. He slithered up the wall, and stood beside the two Angels. He knew instantly who Aziraphale was, but who was that? Who was the other one? The thing that confused him most, though, was that Y/N's wings were a mix of black and white.

Was she fallen? Kinda. Was she a Demon? No. An Angel? Yes.

Crowley felt his confusion grow by the minute.

In fact, he was intrigued. He was going to get to know this stranger, whatever it took.

The next time the two really met was in Paris. Aziraphale had gotten himself into a spot of trouble, and Y/N had seeked Crowley out, and dragged him to Paris. Aziraphale, after being set free, wandered off, probably to get food. Perhaps some crêpes.

This left Y/N and Crowley to talk. And talk they did. They'd met many, many times before Paris, obviously, but it had been a while since they'd had a proper chat...3000 years, give or take.

Aziraphale thinks that this moment is when Crowley realised how hopelessly in love he was with Y/N. Aziraphale could see it on his face, they way he looked at Y/N with gentle eyes from behind black glasses. Crowley denied it whenever the subject was brought up. "We're just friends!" He would protest, scrunching his face up in faux disgust.

Or maybe he had fell in love when Y/N had ran off after a unicorn, and returned riding it, smiling as if she had just won the lottery, although that didn't exist then. In fact, that occurred during the Noah's Ark problem.

Aziraphale was a being of love. He knew love when he saw it. He saw the love in shared glances when they thought nobody was looking, he saw the love in the way they spoke to each other, he saw the love in the tiny touches they shared. He saw it all.

He thinks that Y/N fell for Crowley when he saved his books after blowing the church up. Not that it was his fault...kinda. Anyway, Y/N had flown in on trembling wings, having seen the bomb go down, and knowing who was there. She had literally tackled both of them in a hug, engulfing them with her wings too.

"You idiots! You stupid, stupid idiots!" She had yelled. "I can't believe - who made the bomb fall?" She seethed, and Crowley had sheepishly raised a hand, and she had glared that him for a few moments, before her gaze softened, and she smiled, yet again hugging the Demon.

Or perhaps she had fallen for him in Rome.

Don't even get Aziraphale started on the 80's. They were at their worst then, Crowley was trying to hide his obvious feelings, and so was Y/N, but they did terribly, and only worsened the situation, because they both most certainly did not get drunk, and certainly did not drunkenly make out. (They did.)

Yeah, that never happened, as far as Aziraphale thought they knew. But Aziraphale knew, of course he did. That was one image he couldn't erase.

And then there was the 90's. They weren't so bad, actually, Aziraphale had decided. They had fallen out after an argument about Crowley and his need for holy water. Y/N had assumed the worst upon being told.

"You what? Aziraphale gave you holy water?" She had screamed at Crowley, wings out, and her eyes were narrowed to the point that they were mere slits. Crowley had nodded, slightly frightened by Y/N's reaction. "Crowley, you can't have holy water! You know what it'll do to you! It'll...It'll destroy you! Or is that why you wanted it? An easy way out?" And as soon as the words had left her mouth, Crowley had reacted.

Aziraphale shivered at the memory. It hadn't been pretty, actually. Crowley had accidentally burnt a few books in his momentary anger, although as soon as Y/N had left, he regretted it, turning to face Aziraphale, his golden eyes wide, looking rather shocked.

They ignored each other for seven years, which had mildly impressed Aziraphale, who hadn't thought they'd even be able to stay away from each other for a week. But no, both of them were even more stubborn than a mule, and boy oh boy, could they hold grudges.

They managed to fix things in '99, when Y/N had been in the bookshop. She had had a run in with a few demons, and although she had never revealed what had really happened, it had scared her to the point where she was quivering in the back room of the bookshop, curled up, cocooned in her wings. And that's how Crowley had found her. Originally he'd come in to find Aziraphale, but he had heard gentle sobs from the back room, and went in, curious. Upon finding Y/N he had darted over, closing the bookshop with a snap of his fingers as he fell to his knees in front of her.

Not realising it was Crowley, Y/N had scuttled away, backed into the corner, trembling. Crowley was confused, that was for sure, but more than anything he was concerned for his friend.

"Y/N? Y/N what's wrong?" He had asked softly, sitting in front of her. Y/N had looked up with bloodshot eyes, peeking out from behind her black and white wings, and she had flinched slightly. "What happened?" He repeated, removing his glasses. Y/N had shook her head, and Crowley had frowned.

"There were some demons." Y/N had whispered, so quietly that Crowley could barely hear her. She didn't say any more than that. She had then slowly shuffled forwards, towards Crowley, and wrapped her arms and wings around him, burying her face in Crowley's shoulder, and that's where they stayed for a while.

They went back to their usual antics after that.

Aziraphale was relieved that they were back to normal, but now he was dealing with them dancing around their feelings again, and there was only so much dancing he could take, and he loved dancing...and food.

But now Aziraphale was just about done with them both. He was going to take things into his own hands, and began planning his master plan. There was no way it wouldn't work, right?

So, the next day, he led them both into the back room, and then locked them in there together. He had pinned a note on the door, the side that they'd be able to see, and Crowley ripped it off, reading it, and Y/N witnessed a rather amusing event. Crowley went red, and then sighed, and read it out.

"Hello Crowley and Y/N, this is Aziraphale, and I'm not sorry for locking you both in here. You two need to talk about stuff, and when I think you're done I'll let you out." Crowley read, grumbling, and Y/N chuckled.

"We can sneak out, you know." She stated, and after saying that, she shrunk herself, and wandered out, under the door. Crowley followed.

They snuck out, to the Bentley, and they both got in after returning to their natural sizes.

Aziraphale was state in the back, much to their surprise.

"I knew you'd try to sneak out, you know." He stated, smiling brightly. "This was my plan all along! Now I can talk to you both." He grinned. "You two are the most oblivious people ever, and I have therefore decided that I must do this myself."

Crowley realised what was happening, and hissed. "Aziraphale, don't you dare!" He growled, although there was no real threat. Y/N looked on, merely confused.

"Crowley, do it, otherwise I will." Aziraphale sighed. Crowley turned to face Y/N, and made a strangled noise, one of objection. "You can do it!" Aziraphale encouraged.

"No I can't! I've had...since the Ark to do it! If I could, I would have done it by now, Angel." Crowley managed to say.

"It's okay to be scared, Crowley." Aziraphale said, rather softly. Crowley hissed, almost angrily.

"I'm not scared! I'm just...just..." Crowley's shoulders fell. "I'm not scared. I just don't want to lose anyone."

"Hey, can someone tell me what's going on?" Y/N huffed, folding her arms, mildly annoyed, but confused, and overly curious, as usual. Crowley and Aziraphale looked at her. Aziraphale then looked at Crowley, who shrugged, then sighed.

"Don't...worry. Uh, it's not that important." Crowley smiled. Y/N sighed, knowing he had lied. "Okay, okay, Aziraphale get out, just for a minute." Crowley looked at Aziraphale, who smiled at him, before getting out of the Bentley.

"Y/N, I know it's stupid but there's something I really need to say to you." Crowley started, and his eyebrows fell as he tried to think of what to say. "I know I'm a Demon, and you're an Angel, kinda, and were supposed to be enemies, but there's nothing I could do. I tried to fight it because I didn't want to be like a human." He bit his lip, then removed his glasses, and his golden eyes stared into Y/N's. "I...I uh, how do I say this?" He mumbled. "I...like you? I really like you?" He blurted out, sounding slightly confused. Y/N smiled.

"I mean, it'd be problematic if you didn't." She chuckled, not realising what Crowley mean. The Demon groaned, mildly annoyed by her obliviousness.

"No! That's not what I meant! I meant that I really really like you and how on Earth do I say this? Okay...I don't like you as a friend, I like you as...more?"

Y/N realised what he mean, and her eyes widened, and she suddenly disappeared, leaving Crowley by himself.

Y/N had actually teleported herself inside the bookshop, and she had sat down, near Aziraphale. Aziraphale took notice of her shocked expression, and sat next to her.

Crowley stayed inside his car, groaning loudly, instantly assuming that the worst had happened and that she didn't like him back. That she didn't love him. Crowley growled at the thought. Love. What a useless thing.

"Y/N, my dear, what ever is wrong?" Aziraphale asked, confused. Y/N laughed softly, but as she laughed, she seemed to slowly descend into madness.

"He said he liked me as more as a friend, Zira. More than a friend! What does that even mean?" Y/N snorted, and Aziraphale sighed, glancing outside. Crowley was still sat in his Bentley, but now he was listening to Queen...probably.

"Y/N, it means he wants to...date you, I believe that is the correct modern term." Aziraphale hummed quietly. "It means he loves you. Y/N, I know you love him too. Everyone in Heaven and Hell might as well know, you two are so obvious! You've been dancing around each other for hundreds of years and I am just about done with it! Now go and talk to Crowley before he drives off and goes and does something stupid. Go." Aziraphale explained, and Y/N nodded, and ran back outside, clambering into the car.

"Crowley, let's go home, please." Y/N said, and Crowley raised an eyebrow, but drove anyway. "I don't want to cause a scene in the middle of a street. I have no idea what's going to happen next, Crow, but I'm hoping it's good." Y/N added, and Crowley raised an eyebrow, looking at her.

"Explain." He mumbled, mildly confused.

"Okay, okay...just...get inside first." Y/N said, rushing inside, to Crowley's flat. Crowley simply teleported, and sat on his throne as he waited for Y/N. Y/N ran in, and Crowley smirked slightly. "Okay, Aziraphale had to explain what you meant but I know now and I like you more than a friend too, or as Aziraphale said, love you and I guess he's not wrong." Y/N blurted, and Crowley suddenly coughed, standing up and walking to her. "And you're a really...cool demon too, so, I guess that's a bonus. You're pretty nice-" Y/N continued, and Crowley snarled, automatically darting forwards, and he (though gentler than usual) pushed Y/N against the wall.

"I'm not nice!" He snapped, and Y/N blinked. "I'm...not...nice!" Crowley repeated, through gritted teeth, and then he suddenly felt a gentle hand cup his cheek.

"Huh, Zira wasn't lying when he said you didn't like being called nice." Y/N mumbled, and Crowley didn't miss her eyes quickly flitting from his lips to his eyes. Or glasses, rather. He smirked, and edged slightly closer.

"You knew exactly what you were doing, damn. Little Miss Innocent isn't as pure as she seems." He remarked sarcastically.

"Well, obviously, I was cast out of heaven for a reason." Y/N stated, rather dryly. Crowley snorted, and Y/N smiled, and down her eyes went again, and back up, and Crowley hummed softly. "Are you just gonna stand there then?" Y/N asked, starting to shift slightly so she could get away. Not that she really wanted too, but it worked, because Crowley rolled his eyes, before pressing his lips to hers.

It was everything that Y/N had wished for and more. His lips were soft and gentle against hers, and might have well been puzzle pieces, slotting perfectly against hers. She realised that she could faintly taste wine, ands she smiled into the kiss, hands coming up to wrap around his shoulders, holding him as close as possible. Crowley's glasses were hard against her features, but she didn't mind because, finally, after thousands of years she was getting what she wanted. Crowley pulled away, quickly removing his glasses.

"How long?" He asked quietly, and Y/N smiled, lips still brushing against each other.

"Since Rome." She admitted, and Crowley hummed softly. "What about you, Crow?"

"Since the Ark." He mumbled, and Y/N smiled more, before seeking out his lips again.

Crowley gently held her hips, absentmindedly rubbing circles into her skin with his thumbs. "I love you too." He whispered, and Y/N nodded slightly, playing with the ends of Crowley's red hair. She connected their lips again, a little more force, a bit more want, and lot more need and Crowley knew where this was leading but he didn't mind. Besides, he was a demon, he was supposed to sin.

So he went along with it, revelling in the moment, and he unintentionally let Y/N take the lead. But only for now, he thought to himself. But he was still a Demon, and still decided to tease Y/N a little, his hands sometimes moving a little lower than they should've.

Y/N's only reaction was to huff, and gently bite his lip, which would cause Crowley to gasp, and allowed Y/N to have her way, not that Crowley minded. He certainly didn't.

He soon grew tired of just enthusiastically kissing though, and pulled away, pressing a uncharacteristically soft kiss to the corner of her mouth, and he began to trail kisses down to Y/N's neck, humming 'Somebody To Love' as he went. Y/N's grip on his shoulders tightened, and Crowley smirked, gently nipping at her skin, causing Y/N to gasp quietly.

"Crowley, you better not leave marks!" She hissed, and Crowley merely winked, before grazing his teeth across her skin again, before suddenly just nuzzling into the small crook of Y/N's neck. Y/N blinked, confused, but she smiled anyway, resting her chin on top of Crowley's head.

Then Crowley did the opposite of what Y/N had told him. He left a hickey.

Now, Y/N could pretend to be angry all she wanted, but she wasn't really, she never really could be. After all, it was Crowley. Who could be mad at Crowley? (A lot of people.)

So instead, she softly flicked him when he was done, and sighed.

"You're lucky I love you, Crowley." She grumbled, and Crowley shrugged, and pecked Y/N's lips, smiling. He then began working on the buttons of Y/N's shirt, and, well.

The rest is history.

Tags: @dekahg , @steampowerednightvaler

[rottengalzsworld]

I'm Lost Without You.

"I'm sorry.." "Let's end this.."

I wonder when it started. When did we lost our spark? When did our relationship fell apart? When did we fall out of love? Or rather.. where did his love go?

We're childhood friends. We have been neighbors for who knows how long. My parents and his are the best of friends. Like literally. Both my mom and dad and his. They even want us to get married if only one of us is a girl. We couldn't careless over such things since we were still kids that time. I remember he always comes over to play everyday. Laughing, Sleeping, Eating.. we did that together. We went on the same elementary he was my saviour when I'm being bullied. At the same time I was his teacher and I taught him everything about academics.

High school started we went on the same school. Again. Same grade, Same section, and year. Since were always together our classmates teases us as husband and wife. It didn't seem to bother him so I just went on with it too. I forgot this is also the stage where we get curious about almost everything. Sexuality. Relationship. Love. Pleasure. One day while walking home after school he told me he wanna come over. I said "Yeah. Sure." I wasn't thinking of anything else since I'm use to him being always in our house. We went inside. No one's home. "Go on to my room first. I'll get us some snacks and drinks" I said. He nodded and went ahead. I brought some cookies and juice. As I went inside my room he's lying on my bed. Faced down. "Hey. I brought some cookies" he gave me a moan as an answer. I sat down on the floor and leaned my back against my bed. He suddenly got up took his bag and started rummaging inside. "Ah! Found it!" He took out a somewhat called a dvd. "DOJUN! let's watch this!" He showed me what that dvd was about and to my surprise.. It was an adult dvd. "Wha-- where did you even get that?!" I asked embarrassingly. He smiled at me "Hehehe.. I saw this from my father's closet and I figured we should watch it together! Hihihi" he immediately put the dvd on and I had no choice but to watch it with him. Then like any other guy in puberty we reacted naturally. We weren't talking nor even glancing at each other. Too embarrassed of the situation. Haaah.. seriously.. why did we end up like this? I glanced at him and his all red and sweaty. His face screams pain. He's covering his crotch. 'Hehehe.. how cute' I thought to myself. "Could you quit staring at me? I'm getting uncomfortable" he's blushing so hard.. 'cute.. cute.. cute..' This side of him makes me wanna tease him more. And so I did. I slowly touched his arms. He shivered. "Wha- what the hell dojun!" He said while still blushing.. "What? You look like your in pain.. just wanna help you out." I said.. aah. He's so cute when he's embarrassed. "S-stop it.." he said.. ugh! I held both of his hands up. Went in front of him.. kissed him while un-buckling his pants. I don't know what came over me. But I can't stop myself. He was.. He kept on saying no.. but why do I feel like he doesn't mean it? I looked at him and stared.. "wh-what?" He asked nervously. "Heesoo.." I called out his name.. with a tone of hunger. I want him. What? Why? Why do I want him? He chuckled looked back at me and said "we've already gone this far.. don't leave me hanging now." After that I kissed him passionately.. started jerking both of our thing. Up and down. Twists and turns. Until we both came.

I kept on apologizing.. but he said it was okay and that he didn't hated it. But it didn't just end there. It happened multiple more times. It became a routine. Every time he comes over. We do it. I realized my true feelings for him when were talking about what we wanted to be in the future and what school were going to. When he said he wants to go to another state for college.. it pierced me. Thinking that I'm not gonna able to see him everyday.. kills me. And so our graduation came. I confessed my feelings. I told him that wherever he goes.. I'll go and that I like him.. more than just a friend. He was shocked. I expected as much. But he answered my feelings right then and there. "I thought I will never hear that from you" he smiled and hugged me. Not long after our parents knew about our relationship and they're all supportive.

Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months, and months turned into years. We graduated college and again together. After graduation we bought our own apartment and lived there. We both work and have separate but not so much different schedules. We see each other every weekends. Spend it like any other couple. After a year I was promoted as an executive. We celebrated it but things go downhill for the two of us after this. Higher rank means more work load. I come home late. Wake up early or sometimes too late. We see each other once per week or sometimes we don't. We haven't spent time with each other. And I think that's one of the reason why something changed. It was the night of our anniversary and I did whatever it takes to come home early. I brought flowers and his favorite sweets. As I arrived I saw his shoes. "He's here" I smiled and I looked at the time. I made it. "Heesoo? I'm ho-me.." I saw bags at the side of the entrance. What? Did someone came over? He was sitting on the couch. "Heesoo?" He stood up and came to me. Then I heard the words I have been wishing and hoping to never hear my entire life.

His head's down "I'm sorry.." his voice is shaking "L-let's end this.." That time my chest started burning. My back aches. My knees are losing strength. I'm getting lightheaded. I can't say anything. My voice won't come out. "Nothings wrong with you.. You.. did nothing wrong. It's.. it's me.." he said while still looking down. I wanna say something but my voice just won't come out. I want to ask him why? what's wrong? But none of those were heard. I was staring at him. Surprised. Hurt. Confused. "I'm going." He walked pass me. I can't move. My chest hurts. I can't breathe. He left. He really left. I don't understand what just happened. I can't process everything. I sat down and held my head. Trying to calm down and think. My heart beats so fast I can hear it. My vision is blurry. Tears started flowing.

2 weeks passed and I haven't heard anything from him. I tried calling his number but his phone's off. Messaging him but no reply. I've asked his mom where he could possibly be but she said she have no idea. Even his friends doesn't know where he is. Heesoo. Please. Come back to me.

6 months later.. I'm still working at the same company. And a horrible news came to me. Heesoo's mom called and told me that she know's where his son is. She said that heesoo is moving to another country. My heart is beating so fast. It's burning. My chest. The same sensation I had that day. She said that heesoo will be moving to America but she doesn't know where and that he's leaving today. I ran fast to my car. Drove to the airport. Ran inside. Looking for him. I'm out of breath but I didn't stop. Then I saw him. "HEESOO!" I shouted. He looked back to see where that voice came from. He saw me. I ran to him. "Dojun! What the hell are you doing here?!" I hugged him. Oh god. Thank you. I miss him so much. "Heesoo.. why are you leaving? Do you hate me that much?" I asked him tearfully. "No. Dojun. I don't hate you." He said. "Then why? Why are leaving? That time too. I'm sorry about everything. I promise.. I promise I'll make it up to you.. just.. just don't leave me.."

"I'm sorry.. but I can't" he said. "I have to do this dojun. We've always been together.. always behind each other's backs and coz of that I.. I grew to not live by myself anymore. And so when you got promoted and come home late I felt so lonely I could die." But isn't that a good thing? Atleast I know you can't live without me.

"I know what your thinking. It isn't a good thing dojun. I don't wanna be a hindrance for your growth.. your success.. specially.. I don't want to be a burden." What? What's he saying?

"Heesoo. You know your no--" I tried to say something but he cut me "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! Dojun.. this is not just a simple thing. I have to do this not just for me but for us. I don't want us to end up like my parents.." his parents?

"My dad can't live without my mom.. he became too clingy.. at first my mom finds it cute but as time goes it became troublesome. My dad gets jealous easily. Thinking every guy my mom talks to is her lover. I'm slowly being like that.. and I don't like it dojun!" He's starting to cry.. this is the first time I'm hearing this.. "I don't want our relationship to be like that.. That's why I ended it. After fixing myself I'm thinking of coming back to you. I know it's selfish. But for us to have a happily ever after.. I will do everything." Heesoo.. so he broke up with me because he wants to save.. us?

"I want to create a brand new story with you. Start a new relationship that'll last forever and for that to happen.. I have to reconstruct myself... *cries*" he caressed my face..

"I want to be a man that deserves to stand beside you.."

I'm horrible.. I made the person I love cry.

"Will you be able to wait for me?" He asked.. full of hope I'd say yes..

"Heesoo.." I took his hand off my face and held it.. then put it on my chest..

"Your the reason why this is still beating.. my heart will solely forever be yours." I said. My tears fell. One by one.

"I will wait for you.. no matter how long it takes. Just promise me you'll come back."

"I will. I promise. My love."

I kissed him. Hugged him. One last time.

I don't know how long it will take him. But that doesn't bother me. Coz I know he'll be back. Back to my arms.

As I stand here.. watching you go. Staring at your back walking further and further away.. Slowly being engulfed by the crowd of passengers. The burning in my chest fades away. It still stings but I know that this pain will turn into happiness. I just have to wait.

Heesoo.. The love of my life. My one and only. I'll always be here waiting for you. I love you.

[itskindofafairything]

Growing Pains (part 1)

Warning: mentions/suggested of anorexia cussing

(rewinding to season one a bit I'm replacing Sherri with Avalon I'm also changeing the order making her reason 10 she'll being giving the tapes to clay. P.s. Sherri running over the stop sign doesn't happen Jeff is alive )

Flashback freshman yr.

"Seriously Hannah just drop it I'm fine" Avalon huffed biting her cheek.

"fine? Looking like a twig is not being fine Av seriously you know we I can literally ditch class and grab you food from the diner" xi" Hannah trailed off.

"HANNAH SERIOUSLY FUCKING STOP GOD KAT WAS RIGHT YOUR NOT HAPPY UNLESS YOUR CONTROLING THE SITUATION. IM FINE JUST DROP IT BETTER YET. JUST DO ME A FAVOR AND STOP SOCIALIZING WITH ME BETTER YET FIND A NEW FRIEND" Avalon yelled slamming her locker before rushing down the hall leaving people starting.

Fast forward.

Avalon sighed pinching her skin . Before shakily putting the head phones into her ears and pressing play.

: Hey, it's Hannah, Hannah Baker. That's right. Don't adjust your... whatever device you're listening to this on. It's me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore. And this time absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. 'Cause I'm about to tell you the story of my life..

Avalon blinked slightly confused but more disturbed why was she listening to a dead girl?pausing the tape chewing her lip.

"The rules here are pretty simple. There are only two. Rule number one: you listen. Number two: you pass it on. Hopefully, neither one will be easy. It's not supposed to be easy, or I would have emailed you an MP3. When you're done listening to all 13 sides, because there are 13 sides to every story, rewind the tapes, put them back in the box, and pass them on to the next person."

Avalon rolled her eyes "dramatic much Baker?" She scoffed frowning as she sucked in her lip biting down hard as if not to let herself cry.pressing play again.

"Oh, and the box of tapes should have included a map. I'll be mentioning several spots around our beloved city. I can't force you to visit them, but if you'd like a little more insight, head for the stars. Or, you know, just throw the map away and I'll never know. Or will I? You see, in case you're tempted to break the rules, understand I did make a copy of these tapes, and I left them with a trusted individual who, if this package doesn't make it through all of you, will release those copies in a very public manner. This was not a spur of the moment decision. Do not take me for granted. Not again."

"this is sick" Avalon whisphered pulling out the map and counting the tapes and continued to listen.

"See, I've heard so many stories about me now that I don't know which one is the most popular, but I do know which is the least popular. You all have a reason for being on here. The truth. See, the truth isn't always the most exciting version of things or the best or the worst. It's somewhere in between, but it deserves to be heard and remembered. The truth will out, like someone said once. It remains."

It'd been 3 days and 12 hours since Avalon started listening to the tapes. She couldn't do it in on day each time she tried listening again she felt sick and disgusted. Hand trembling she put in another tape her fingers pressed play.

"And now we come to reason 10. Little Miss prefect. Might want to sit down your in for a ride because you miss Avalon Frost have a whole tape to yourself. Isn't that nice. Well no no not really. Not nice for ethier of us.. are you ready . You see my brain say you don't belong on here but my hearts says you do. Now let go back to that one day. You know what I'm talking about the hallway incident. .

"you my dear dear Avalon may not have meant to start it but you lit the match and started the spiral. Your secerts aren't safe anymore and thank God they won't be maybe finally you'll stop the act, and while I wasn't able to save myself maybe I can save you.,"

Avalon pressed payse throwing the earphones off and the player on the bed.

She hastily threw in a jacket grabbed her key and wallet. Yelled out even tough she knew no one would answer "going out".

She rushed herself out the front door before long her feet and body found themselves a Rosie's. Once inside she said into a booth.

Smoothing out her hair she picked up a menu to hide her face from the crowd. She only looked up when she felt someone sliding into the booth with her.

"hi Zach" she said forcing a smile.

"don't take this the wrong way but you look like shit"Zach replied brushing a strand of hair out of her face.

"well you would to if "she started

"listened to the tapes?" Came a whisper as Jessica slid in on her other side.

",I haven't even gotten I just started mine" Avalon admitted voice shaking "I don't know if I can even finish it" she muttered.

Zach ran a hand up and down her tight comfortingly.

"Av I'm sorry if I'd known what you were going through I would've tried to help" Jess admitted.

Avalon sucked in a breath nodding "it's ok Jess" she moved her hand under the table lacing her fingers into Zach's hand hoping he wouldn't pull away "I didn't know it'd ever get that far ya know?" She shrugged feeling a slight squeeze against her fingers from Zach's hand she relaxed abit.

[kyunsies]

Hello Mädch ahsdjaksdh <3 !!

how is college going? dw, I hope you are settling in super well and feeling optimistic about school and all the amazing things I know you are going to achieve this year! I am excited that you are starting your rotations now! you are going to do awesome, I know it! I'm sorry that you didn't get that ICU first like you wanted but hopefully it's all part of the plan so that you get it at the right time for you <3 let me know how they go, of course. I hope they go super well.

the week has been a bit weird to be honest, in my team I had a semi argument that was properly tense for the first time with someone and it was just so unpleasant. you know those people where they aren't horrible but you know that you'll never completely see eye to eye with them? i think it's just one of those things, where we'll never just completely read each other or get each other? and it's not, like, a massive issue or anything that we can't deal with, but I feel like usually I get on really well with people or not at all (all or nothing person I guess haha) but with this person I've just got to admit that we're always going to be a bit in the middle? like, we talked it over, and I've still found sometimes we misunderstand one another? so things are still good in work and clients, but with workpeople it has been the more difficult battle? hopefully we should get some more cool media stuff with the K-pop people soon, so that's an up?

OMGsh your coworkers are so much older than you! [lease do post a picture of your room, I am 100% confident that you have made it so dreamy and pretty. Thank you sm for telling me more about these operations though! I feel like everywhere is on red alert at the moment when it comes to health and care and making sure that people look after themselves and not put others at risk, you know? the doctors that to talk to me about my potential surgeries too have said the same but it's nice hearing it from a friend, you know? so thank youuuu <3 <3

I was the same as you, I would get so so so anxious and stressed if I wasn't studying or working or anything like that? but my mum is like your mum and grandma, where she gets up early too! but I feel like I need to do the late night thing instead? but then once I got into this crazy spiral where I would wake up really early and go to bed really late and like nap in between so I ended up like having two hours of sleep either side? that was peak wth at the time haha XD so now I try and let myself wake up a bit later really XD ha ha I'm in barely adulting! like I work so much but I don't earn a lot ha ha – I don't think that's very effective adulting? or like, I don't know I guess for a lot of people my age there's a work hard and hope it pays off thing in certain industries? so you're definitely more effectively adulting than me right now! like, you're going to do stuff that's gonna actively help people and you'll see that right in front of you, you know!!? sometimes my work gets out there but I rarely see directly if it gets to make peoples lives better you know? so the path you're on is so so admirable <3 <3 <3

I get you though, do you find that you thrive under the pressure even though it's sometimes a lot? I find that sometimes it does help me, but sometimes I forget to identify the times when it isn't helping me? or, sometimes I take it too far? so please look out for yourself and take care of yourself <3 and when you're worried if you're on the edge know that it's enough for you to take a rest and not be super perfect. i sometimes tell myself to except that I'm probably gonna make two or three stupid mistakes a day? It sounds kind of silly but it means that it makes it easier for me to accept when I mess up, idk, I think it helps me balance the pressure sometimes? i 100% understand what you're saying - at school do they have people that can directly help? or like peer supporters so it's not as stressful or official feeling as a therapist? if you ever want me to come off anon to help lemme know <3 i'm always here for you <3

oh my gosh your grandparents have been able to live long too! all my grandparents lived close to 100 before passing, and one of my grandmothers had the same as your grandfather. he sounds so sweet and so kind though! i love that he knows how to FaceTime you! Some of my aunts and uncles still don't properly haha. it sounds like he knows that he's super loved though, he's very lucky <3 <3 i've been thinking about all this really lovely stuff and how it grounds you when stuff like careers can stress you out and feel like the most important thing when it shouldn't be? what are the personality differences between the different areas of the US? my East Coast friends seem to straight talk a lot more than my West Coast friends? like they're a lot more realistic as opposed to being, I don't know laid-back or if not laid-back sometimes just more comfortable with superficial stuff? Not like my West Coast friends are superficial people, but I think they accept it as part of the world a bit better? my friends on the east coast will rail against that stuff a lot more, like they buy into the influencer bullshit less? but I guess these are all sweeping generalisations anyway... I might have to travel a bit in europe soon... I got asked to go to otaly for some work today, and to holland next month. Idk if it will end up happening though, things change all the time? I have to keep checking quarantine rules all the time with countries! but YAY and YES Europe tour trip one day :D !!!!!!!

you know what? when I first saw you compare bowling and golf I was like, wait, what? but now I totally get it! i know a golfer and they talk about how physical and strenuous it is on the arms and stuff all the time which I don't think always comes across when you watch it and it makes a lot of sense with how you describe how you trained for bowling! i used to cox in rowing and I always used to find it really funny that I said that was the sport I did because honestly I just sat in the boat all the time and steered XD

obligatory YES WTF ARE COTTON SCENTS! quite a few shops in the city where I live have been closing down because of Covid but our Jo Malone is still going strong! I love that lots of already classic clothing shops have now gone out of business but for some reason the people where I live cannot live without their perfume XD I think I'm gonna go in later this week or next week to take a look! with all this travelling I kind of want to buy something new? also, my hands have been acting up with injury so I have to rest my hands more anyway – so might as well look for perfume right? do you have any recommendations or would the blueberry one you've just gotten be at the top of your list?

the exciting thing is that I'm doing a bit less this week! I need to wait and see if that job wants me to fly out to Italy within the next 48 hours, if not next week, but if not I think I'm gonna figure out how to rehabilitate my joints a bit and get my brain okay? It's been existential Covid crisis week haha - I think a lot of me and my friends have been feeling like we've lost so much of our lives and potential during this time and I've really tried to hold in and ignore it for the past 18 months? i'm not one to ever feel lonely or to really really want to be in a relationship like some of my friends, but I've just been feeling it this week? like, I love my independence, but I wouldn't say no to a boyfriend right now you know? I feel silly saying that sometimes because I'm so against feeling like you have to have someone in your life to be okay, but I guess that's just a result of how the world is has been recently?? but I think all my feelings exploded around this stuff now so, I am trying to get back into a better place? so it's not as exciting as some of the stuff I've told you about before, but it's what's up I guess?

how are your mum and grandmother doing? are they doing good? [lease send all my love to them too. I'm glad these help you reflect on your week! they do with me too and I'm always happy to hear from you, no matter how long you might need <3 <3 hope you manage to reward yourself for working so hard these past days and that you remember you're always doing 110% so you deserve the best!

love you lots and lots - 💥

ANGEL HELLO !!!!!!!!! i told myself i would stay on top of this and swear in a timely manner but ;_____; a full week + 2 clinical rotations later here i am on a sunday, it seems this is always the case :( maybe my get back to you day will only be on sundays LOL i will try my best in the future babe, but ofc thank you so much for being patient with me <3

uni is going fine so far hun !!!! i've started clinical rotations as i've said on thursday and friday, and then my first exam is on tuesday so i read some chapters yesterday so i'm not squished for time lol :) and ,,,, what you said "hope it's all part of the plan" is very much my way of thinking lol wha is your sign? i'm a sagittarius and that's like, a philosophy i go by like everything is how it's supposed to be even if it's not what u want like everything will work itself out :') i'm wondering if we are one in the same !!!!! <3

and omg ;_____; conflict within the workplace is NEVER easy bc all everyone wants is to reach the goal you all are reaching and bc there's some bumps in the road it makes everything that much more stressful :( and i know exactly the type of person you are talking about LOL i've had to work with some of my peers in the hospital who really didn't treat me all that nicely , but i still have to partner up with them anyways bc we had to move a patient lol ; like they never do anything terrible to you but you just cannot come to a proper agreement with them? i know the feeling :( but i can tell you are doing ur absolute best ;_____; it's a tough situation ,,,,,,,,, but may i propose something ??? maybe since things are high stress in the workplace, would u be willing to meet them outside the workplace, like a quick coffee meet up and then discuss those issues? maybe talking about it in the work environment is way too stressful for both of u and it is hard to come to an agreement, but maybe in a calmer, more informal setting do u think maybe the both of u could be like "hey, what u were talking about i'm not really head over heels for but this is what i think and do u think we can do something where both of us will be happy?" im thinking maybe will opening up a means for more civilized discussion?? just a thought LOL :') let me know how it goes :( i hope u are all able to figure everything out !!!!!

about the surgeries !!!!! like i said i know it's super stressful to think about bc this is one of the very few times in life where things are absolutely out of our control and that scares us, and we as medical providers aren't supposed to give u a false sense of security, but i promise u everything will be just fine as long as u correctly follow up with care post-op :) we wouldn't want an infection !!!! >;( i remember last year i had a patient and she was going in for a routine colonoscopy and she was scared shitless ,,,,,,, but i was like "listen ma'am i know it can seem scary but i was just in there with the doctors and everything is super relaxed and they know what they're doing in there, you'll be out in no time and i'll be here waiting !!" and that seemed to help her a lot, after the surgery she was on me like flies on shit LOL she was like "THANK U HONEY" (but i think most of it was bc she was still drugged up hhh)

LOL us with our family members waking up early <3 literally this morning i decided to do my laundry at 8am (its only 10 right right now lol) but idk it just make u feel a little bit better doesn't it? but oh my gosh no i don't see u in this way at all ;_____; babe like you're already THERE in the world working and to me like ,,,,,, being an effective functioning person in society is like all i ever want i just want to be COMPETENT and the fact that u manage ppl ???? it's already a lot of responsibility but you do it everyday like you go to work u make food for yourself u pay bills like yes this all kinda sucks but you're there doing it and idk ,,,,,,,, like u being in this position is like yeah their surviving in the world and doing okay !!!! so that’s how i see u hun ;_____;

and i don’t think i necessarily thrive under pressure but i just kinda ,,,,,,, handle it?? like i think i handle my stress quite well !!! i think the reason why making mistakes scares me so much in my field is bc if i make a mistake i can like, kill someone or seriously harm them if i do something wrong SLKDFJ but i have to remember i’m still just a student and a lot of the things that i’ll learn won’t even be in these last few months of nursing school, but rather during my months of orientation on the floor i’ll be working on when i finally land a job ,,,,,, i know i just have to be patient and kind to myself, but it’s hard not having these high expectations for myself bc everyone else pushes themselves super hard (nurses i mean) so i feel like i should be too , ya know? ;_____; it’s a hard balance that i’ve yet to find but hopefully once i graduate i’ll have just a little bit more confidence in myself :’)

and omg your grandparents lived a long life as well !!!!!!!! a lot of my friends’ grandparents are really young still, so it’s hard for others to relate i think LOL but :(((( i’m really lucky to have them around still and like, i feel like my grandparents are the cornerstone of our whole entire family; once they pass i’m not quite sure what will happen ;_____; so i’m just trying to cherish every moment that i have with them even tho sometimes it’s stressful lol ; also BOUT THE DIFFERENCES FROM EAST TO WEST COAST LOL ; i think u described it really well actually :) like among the friends u have the are from different parts of the states, it’s very accurate in my opinion !! and again after all it is just a very broad assumption, in general east coasters have this “workaholic” attitude, they tend to be very realistic which i actually appreciate a lot lol, i’m hoping to live near the east coast when i move out <3 now where i am from it is considered the midwest even tho it’s more east than west if u look at it on the map LMAO and like, it’s really funny bc if u say to someone you’re from the midwest they’ll tell u our reputation is being “too nice” LSKDLFJSKLD and like that’s our thing, a happy medium between coasts with big cities but small towns too and generally just very chill and nice ,,,,,,,, the south of the US is also known for having that “southern hospitality” overall very cheerful ppl with personality and super kind attitude on life :) now the west of the US i’m not saying there aren’t nice ppl out there bc there are LOL but esp near lost angeles or hollywood ofc you’re going to have ppl very stuck up bc ya know they made it to big bad LA and they want to be trendy with all of the fake health shit (celery juice does NOTHING FOR U sorry lol) generally my view of the west is just very fake and i would never want to have my family grow up there LMAO but that generally like, california and washington but like, utah or wyoming or colorado are just absolutely gorgeous and they have small town ppl there bc there are a lot of ranches there ,,,,,,,, does any of this make sense to u ??? KLASFJ 

i’m going to skip a few paragraphs bc this is so long already LMAO but trust me i’ve read everything so far lol ; it seems like you’re doing a lot of traveling !!!!!! <3 i’m so jealous !!!!!!!! italy sounds so beautiful i would love love to go some day :( ALSO U SMELLED THE BLUEBELL PERFUME RIGHT ???? U LIKED IT ?????? doesn’t it smell absolutely divine??? no matter how many scents i smelled after that i knew it was the right one for me ldkfsdlkfj <3 i’m still so in love with it ;____; also about ur lil rant about feeling lonesome :( bub i can really relate to this and i feel the same way like my mom and the rest of my family never pushed me to meet anyone and i’ve always never had a problem making friends, but like, as i’m older and i realize i’ll be alone a lot more of my time once i graduate like i really do want to share my life with someone :( i have a lot of love and i want to be able to show it to someone i care about a lot but i just never really take the initiative to do that bc quite honestly i’m not confident in myself lMAO so ,,,,,,, i know we never feel like we need to be dependent on someone but sharing experiences with someone who feels very strongly for u seems nice, doesn’t it? i wish this for both of us really soon okay?? <3 i tell my friends i would LOVE to be engaged right now lskdjfslfjs :’)

but anyways !!!!!!!! my mom and the rest of my family is doing well <3 and i’m doing okay too !!!!!! i don’t want to bore u with how clinicals are going but if u want me to tell u just let me know LOL and angel i know i say it all the time but always thank u so much for being patient with me okay? u are the absolute best !!!!!! also as promised, here are a few pics of my dorm room LOL it’s a shoebox but it’s my shoebox :) enjoy !!!!!!