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warrior-angel · 4 years

Text

Till Death Do us Apart

Author: @warrior-angel

Word Count: 6155

Summary: when you and your brother both get infected by the flare you go down an emotional rollercoaster only for it to end totally diffrent than you had originaly planned it al to go.

Warnings: major character death, blood, angst,

Note: this was realy hard to write for me but i'm very proud of it so i hope you guys like it

This is a one shot writen for Tomuary by @writingsbychlo

you knew you were a walking time bomb and that you probably didn't have long anymore every day could be your last you just hoped you would make it long enough to see your friend being saved.

The flare, a stuppid virus that made you go completely insane, you've kept your sanity in all those years in the Maze and now that you were finally free you wouldn't live to see the beauty of it. Here you were leaning on the table listing to Thomas and Gally picking a fight over what to do next you had to save Minho from WICKED but every idea was turned down it being to risky and now that there was a real option to extualy get the job done Thomas was refusing to do it and you were just trying to keep your mind from not completely losing it over this endless ‘i don't trust you even though it could save our lives thing’ you loved Thomas that's the hole reason you were together but sometimes he could be so stubborn and right now, right now he was being a pain in the ass because the plan Gally had to save Minho included Teresa “No there's gotta be another way” Thomas kept saying while everybody disagreed knowing we didn't have much choice or resources to do anything else “like what? you’ve seen the building she’s our only way in'' Gally tells him again but he still doesn't listen. “If we do get in you think she’s going to help us?” Thomas ask him and Gally shakes his head “I don't Plan on asking for her permission” i crack a little smile knowing nobody at the table really liked teresa in the first place and Brenda only conformers that when she's speaking up “Am i missing something here this is the same girl that betrayed us correct? same Dick”

Thomas starts to nervously pace around and nobody understands his problem. You loved Teresa like a sister but after her betrayal a lot changed even for you “what's going on?” Brenda asks him and you look over at Newt you knew your brother and you knew that look on his face because you've had it yourself and you've seen it on him before he was angry and he was going to lose it any second now “your afraid your little girlfriend is going to get hurt?” Newt snaps and all eyes go to him “this has obviously never been just about rescuing Minho is it''

Thomas looks taking back by his sudden outburst and so does everybody else but i couldn't disagree “he’s got a point Tommy” you tell him and the brown haired boy looks up at you even more shocked that your agreeing with Newt “what are you talking about” but before you can do or say anything Newt stands up straight in front of him “Teresa, she's the only reason Minho is even missing in the first place and now we finally have an opportunity to get him back and what you don’t want to because of her? because deep down inside you care more about her than for y/n don't you, just admit it”

Thomas turns his gaze over to you over Newt his shoulder and you know Your brother hit an emotional string there. from day one you were Teresa her competition and you knew how thomas felt about her but he chose you over her and that meant the world to you but this part of you that was Sick and infected was telling you that the minute you would be gone he would run to Teresa “Newt i” Thomas starts but All Newt does is move closer pushing Thomas against the wall “Don’t lie to me!”

“Newt calm down!” You yell getting closer but your brother doesn't move “Don’t lie to me” he tells Thomas again “Newt Get the off of him!” You say using every ounce of strength to pull him away from Thomas. As soon as he backs away he looks a bit shocked at his own actions looking between you and your friends mumbling a quick apology before turning towards Thomas and apologizing again. the minute he steps to the side wanting to walk away, wanting to leave the room you notice him grabbing onto his arm and you immediately fear the worst cause you've had the same outbursts and the same burning sensation in your arm right after you had an outburst like that. “y/n, i'' Thomas says towards you and you shake your head not wanting to talk about it “it’s fine, he just need to cool down”

“That's not what i mean” and you nod “i know”

you stand on your toe’s giving him a quick kiss on his cheek and giving him a reassuring smile “i’ll go check on Newt i’m probably the only one he’ll talk to you guys find a way to get Minho back”

Opening the door to the roof you can see Newt sitting on the edge of the building and you take a few steps closer trying to calm yourself down already knowing the truth about what just happened what had caused his outburst but still a part of you hoped it was just the tension and the time spend so close togheter that caused it instead of a stupid virus. Looking over his shoulder newt spots you standing behind him and you take a few steps closer “sorry bout that back there” he tells you but you don't say anything you just sit down beside him and look at his arm and seeing the twitching in his fingers and it looks all too familiar to you “Why didn't you tell me?” you ask him and he looks over at you but you just look at his arm and he Rolls up his sleeve Revealing multiple black and purple veins on his lower arm “you could’ve told me” you tell him but you knew your brother, you were the same you didnt wanna spend your last few weeks or even days saying goodbye to the people you loved

“I didn't think it would make any difference” he was right knowing it didn't change a thing it only made saying goodbye so much harder because you didn't know when you had to do it “All i know is that WICKED must off put us in that Maze for a reason, maybe it was literally just so they could tell the difference between the immunes like you and people like me” that only made it hurt more because he didn't know, he didn't know you were not Immune “people like us” you tell him and he looks confused. taking a deep breath you lift your leg up a little and move away to Fabric covering your ankle to show Newt the bite mark and torn skin that was covered in black and purple veins “it was that Crank that Fry shot when we were in the tunnel right before Brenda and Jorge saved us, his aim was good only a little bit to late” you explain

it stays silent between the two of you for a minute letting it sink it that you were going to lose each other to lose everybody you loved “Thomas?” He asks and you shake your head “he doesn't know, and he cant i'm not spending my last days saying goodby to him he needs to focus on Saving Minho”

“So what's your plan? You just wanna run off, leave us all behind and die on your own?” Newt asks in a harsh tone “No, i’m sticking to the plan and that's saving Minho”

“What you gonna do after that” and you swallow the lump in your throat “There won't be an after cause i’m not planning on surviving it and that's exactly why he doesn't know”

“who doesn't know?” a familiar voice says behind the two of you you both look back to see The brown haired boy and you turn your gaze to Newt pleading for him to stay quiet and he nods looking back to this arm “i guess i can't hide this anymore'' he tells Thomas rolling his sleeve up again “Newt we can still fix this” thomas tells him and you look between both boys being trapped in the triangle of losing not only yourself but also your brother and the boy you love

That night you all decide to go through with the plan, get Teresa, make her take out the chips in your necks and break into WICKED to get out Minho and that's exactly how things went. having Teresa back was weird to say the least nobody trusted her but right now she was sitting behind you with a small knife against your neck to cut out the chip you didn't really have a choice “try to relax this is going to sting” she tells you and shrug it off wanting to get it over with “just do it”

a sharp pinch follows within a few second you grab the chair tightly out of reflex and you put your feet flat on the Floor trying not to move but moving your leg past the Chair the zipper on your Jeans opens showing her the black veins beneath it “your leg” she says and you pull back leaning down the close the zipper and pull the fabric over your ankle down “What happened?” She asks but you ignore her completely

“are you done” you tell her harshly looking straight up at her “you two okay?” Thomas asks from across the room and you nod “yeah, where fine” you tell him grabbing a small piece of gauze and holding it to your neck ��does he-” but you cut her off talking a little softer making sure nobody hears “No, he doesn't and he won't cause your going to keep your mouth shut and not talk to anybody about it you ruined enough as it is”

“if you come back to the lab with me i could help you give you a-”

“just drop it alright!” you yell getting everybody's attention “Whats going on here?” Gally asks and you shake your head “Nothing, there's absolutely nothing” you tell him walking of Looking over at your brother And then to the brown haired boy that is already on his feet and coming towards you and taking you away from Teresa and away from the others for a second “hey, whats going on with you?” he asks and you shake your head “i’m just one edge i just really want this to work” and the boy nods understanding and giving a quick peck on your lips cupping your cheeks “well get Minho back and we'll all be safe i promise” you look over at your brother on the other side of the Room and Thomas seems to understand “We’ll save Newt well get the cure and he’ll be fine”

“Promise me that after saving Minho you’ll try to save Newt no matter what” and he nods “where is this coming from?” He asks but you just look at him “Promise me Thomas”

“I Will, i promise i Will try to save Newt no matter what” you give Him a weak smile knowing that your brother might survive this all and that made you feel good you where going to save your friends, your family even though you know there was only enough to save one of you two and you knew it wasn't going to be you “You know i love you right?” He tells him and he leans down a little kissing you with more passion than before “i love you too, until Death do us apart” it was a small thing you two said in the glade and in the scorch when something happened but right now it only made you sad cause the small Joke that first meant you loved on another and would stick together would soon turn into reality and probably Faster than he hoped.

The plan worked, you got into WICKED, you saved Minho and you got out of the building with only minor issues but the adrenaline and the fast work took its toll on Newt, His body was shutting down and it was getting harder for yourself to keep things hidden from Thomas or anybody else for that matter.“They were supposed to blow up WICKED not the whole damn city!” Gally says as the walls explode and cars full of angry people coming rushing into the city. pushing us to the side we all sit down against a wall in an alley trying to get away from the explosions and Thomas crawls to the side and you pull his arm “where are you going” you ask him but he is quickly sitting back next to you as he sees WICKED’s cars rushing in “shit”

“what are they waiting for?” Minho asks “Like i have a clue” you answer and like it was planned a loud explosion goes off again and gunfire starts to blast out on the street “we gotta go!” Gally calls out and we sneak into an old dinner to stay sheltered from it all. Sitting in the back of the restaurant you sit against Thomas his chest and his hand goes around your waist as both of you breath heavily for the first time sitting still and letting everything that happened sink in looking between the gunfire outside and Gally,Newt and Minho you know things aren't looking very good for the five of you. Thomas loosens the hand on your waist and grabs the walkie from his pocket “brenda, are you there” and almost immediately she answers “Thomas, i’m here” you grab the walkie from his hands looking around seeing your brother getting worse the fire and fight going on outside and Thomas behind you before answering her “Bren, there's too much going on and i don't think we're going to make it”

“y/n? what are you talking about” she says clearly holding back tears making it harder for yourself to hold it back and you hand to Walkie back to Thomas while swallowing the lump in your throat “you should take the others and get everybody out while you still can” and i doesn't take long for Brenda her protest to come through

“No” and tears roll down your cheeks knowing how hard it is for them so putting your hand over Thomas you hold down the buttons “brenda, you need to go” you tell her hoping she will listen to you “i’m not leaving you two okay so forget it”

“Even though you should,” Thomas tells her and it stays silent for a while you sit up a little with a few tears in your eyes and you grab onto Thomas's hand tighter than before. part of you hoped it was going to be over cause it meant you never had to tell him the truth but the other part wanted him to survive and live his life at the fullest “we started this together might as well end it that way” you tell him and he smiles “you sound like your brother” and you laugh a little looking over at him “till death do us apart right” Thomas Jokes and you nod turning our head far enough to kiss him

“Thomas! y/n! don't worry i’m coming for you” and both Thomas and you look at each other and you act quick taking the walkie out of his hands “what are you talking about?”

“our rides here, look for us near the tunnels”

After walking out of the building Gally takes the lead cause he knew the place the best and he led you all towards the tunnels. At the end of the street a loud blow is heard and a car blows up in front of you all making you fall over and you're once again stuck hiding behind a wall “were almost here” Gally says staking low trying to look for a way through the fight without much trouble but a bright flash of light above you all making you look up seeing the berg flying overhead heading towards the tunnels “There here” you say in a whisper looking at Thomas having hope for your brother once again knowing Brenda had the cure to save him

“go without me, just go” Newt spills and you all look at him, veins starting to crawl up his neck and towards his face and black blood coming from his mouth

and you knew he wasn't going to last long anymore “Minho, you gotta run ahead grab the serum and get back as soon as you can” you tell him and he looks at you not agreeing with it but Thomas nods “Minho, go”

“there right, i’ll cover” Gally tells him and i nod once silently thinking him

“y/n, bring one for y/n” Newt says and you shut him up “what is he talking about?” Thomas asks and you shake your head “Nothing I'm fine it’s just the infection getting to his head” you tell him turning to Minho “You need to go Now!

“just hang on, you hear me,” Minho tells Newt and with those words he runs off getting the serum to save your brother. Newt his head turns to the side and you can see he's fading away but you grab onto him shaking him trying to get him to focus on you and trying to stay awake “Newt! stay with me do you hear me, i need you to stay focused”

“We've gotta get you up” Thomas says, grabbing onto Newt his arm but he protests reaching for his necklace and ripping it from his neck “come on Newt we've gotta go!” Thomas tells him again and tears run down your eyes as Newt holds out the necklace towards Thomas you knew it was the letter he wrote, you were there with him

“Newt, your gonna make it”. I tell him but he keeps his hand out for Thomas

“Just take it!” he yells breathing heavily and Thomas takes the necklace from him holding his hand tight “please, Tommy please” as the words pass by his lips your body starts shutting down and you start coughing letting your body drop next to Newts “y/n!” Thomas yells and you nod “i’m okay, it's just smoke” you lie and you look towards Newt and you can see in his eyes that he knows you're not far behind him “tell him, you need to tell him” Newt says and you shake your head “you need to keep your mouth shut, the plan is going the way it should” you tell him before turning to look at Thomas “tell me what?” Thomas asks and you shake your head holding onto your sanity and pushing yourself up again “The plan about saving Minho it's working now we've gotta save Newt your helping or not?”

“She’s Sick” Newt spits and Thomas looks at you “i’m fine just tired” And Thomas nods he knew you hadn't been sleeping much being concerned about newt but the truth was you didnt wanna risk him seeing the Infection in your leg you had enough time to sleep when this was over. “We need to get out of here” you tell him and Thomas nods, helping you lift up Newt and Making your way closer to the tunnels.

after a few blocks of walking your knees give up on you and you drop to the ground Newts body collapsing onto Thomas and dropping to the ground before you “Y/n?” Thomas ask and you look up at him “I’m Sorry Thomas” you tell him knowing your plan was not working you weren't going to make it and your idea to walk away the minute your brother was save wasn't going to work, if you were shutting down this fast then Newt was even worse knowing that the body in front of you wasn't your Brother anymore but the Infection that caught up with him and took over his brain.

suddenly the street goes quiet and Teresa her voice comes through “thomas? can you hear me, i need you to listen to me i know you have no reason to trust me but i need you to come back, Thomas you can save Newt you can save y/n, there's still time for the Both them” you start coughing and looking at your hand you see black blood and you lift your head up al little to look at thomas you give him a silent apologie again but he just looks at the blood on your lips “there’s a reason brenda isn't sick anymore, it's your blood do you understand she isn't sick cause you cured her she doesn't have to be the only one. the only thing you have to do is come back and all of this will finally be over, please just come back to me” he looks at you and with tears in your eyes you nod “you need to go ” you tell him and he shakes his head ignoring it only wanting answers “why didn't you tell me?” He asks and you swallow the lump in your throat this was the exact reason you didn't tell him

“i couldn't, i didnt wanna say goodbye not to you”

“There's still time Minho is getting the serum” and you shake your head “That’s not the plan’ you tell him throwing it all out “Newt was supposed to make it and i was going to stay behind, going down saving you guys”. You tell him and he has tears in his eyes “You were just going get yourself killed? After everything we’ve been through”

“It’s better than letting this Stuppid Virus control me, i’m not becoming a Crank Thomas, i love you i do but i would much rather get shot out here than survive only to risk hurting the others or you” but he shakes his head not accepting it you betrayed his trust which made you no better than WICKED the only difference was that your intentions were truly only to save the people you loved “we’ll get the serum and everything Will be fine” he tells you but before you can say anything or protest a loud scream comes from behind you and you turn your head to see Newt showing getting up onto his feet, surprised he’s still there “Newt?” you both ask insinc and he slowly turns revealing him fully cranked out eyes gone black and he lashes out towards Thomas attacking him. Thomas steps aside letting Newt drop to his knees and he seems to have a second of his humanity coming through “Tommy! kill me!” he yells, turning to look at Thomas but your own mind keeps getting hazly wanting to shut down so you only see fragments of the fight in front of you. the minute you look backup holding onto your sanity you see Newt holding a knife close to thomas his chest and your own rage takes over pushing yourself onto your feet and pushing your brother off of your boyfriend and holding him down “Newt, this isn't you! Get a hold on your sanity” you try hoping he has any left but he doesn't do anything but trying to get you off and to your side you see a Gun and you use your left foot to kick against it and it slides towards Thomas and he looks between the weapon and you holding down Newt “shoot! the bullet will kill us both” you tell him in a clear moment and she shakes his head

“Thomas, it's your own life, or ours!” you yell at him but Newt gets the upper hand throwing you off him and going for the knife again heading back towards Thomas and you make a decision, with tears in your eyes and the last bit sanity you crawl towards the gun and clock it standing on your feet and aiming the gun towards your brother “Newt!” you yell and he turns his attention towards you and in that small moment you see his eyes the ones you grew up with and the ones of the big brother you love so much and he nods telling you it's okay and with that you pull the trigger the bullet going into his chest and his body dropping to the ground. you look over at thomas and he sits there next to Newts body tears covering his cheeks and your own rolling down your face knowing you just killed the one person that you promise yourself you would save “i'm sorry thomas'' you tell him lifting up the gun an you close your eyes placing your Finger on the trigger but before you can pull it Thomas slams it out of your hands “No! I’m not losing both of you” you look him in his eyes and he has a pleading look “Minho is on his way just hold on okay” he tells you through sobs and you shake your head “i'm not going to make it till then i’m tired of fighting Thomas, i just want it to stop, make it stop” you tell him trying to hold onto your sanity, you reach in your pocket and take out the small necklace and you hand it to him. “Newt’s not to only one that wrote you a letter” and he grabs it holding onto your hand “i love you” you tell him and he smiles a little through the tears “i love you too” with your own tears you take a step back and let go of his hand “if that's true and you really love me, then you'll let me do this then you let me go” he looks shocked and shakes his head protesting but you dont listen to his words “you’re going to be okay” he tries to tell you but you give him a hard enough push to make him trip and you grab the gun up from the ground and drop to your knees next to Newt his body “i’ll see you soon” you tell him before before turning to look at Thomas one last time as he gets back onto his feet but your already lifting up the gun to your head “i’ll say hi to chuck for you”

“don’t do it Please y/n!” he asks through sobs “till death do us apart”

“Wait!” Looking to the side Brenda runs forwards with the small blue file in her hand and she looks to Newt on the ground and to you holding the gun to your head but it all gave Thomas enough time to run towards you getting a Grip on the gun“Thomas! I’m gonna kill you!” You yell at him letting the last of your humanity slip away and fighting the one person you thought you never wanted to hurt “Brenda!” Thomas yells and before you know it everything in front of your eyes turns black

WICKED had taken everything from him, they made it to the safe haven but it didn't seem to matter to him. Vince's speech was what hurt most , it reminded everybody of what they lost but it also reminded them that the people they cared about sacrificed their own lives to save them. “We've come a long way together, so many have sacrificed to make this place possible. your friends, your family. so here's to the ones that couldn't be here, here's to the friends we've lost, this place is for you it's for all of us” he turns his body to point at one of the large rocks in the middle of the place “this, this is for them, so in your one time in your own way, come make your peace, and welcome to the safe haven”

The night was spent talking about memories of the lost once and the plans for the future, the plans of what was coming next and what to do with their lives Now That they were free to do what they wanted but Thomas kept away from it sitting to the side. Minho said down next to him giving him a small smile and looking over the place “this is going to be a good home for us, they would of loved it” he tells him while reaching in the pocket of his jacket and pulling out the two necklaces and hands them back to thomas “you had this one you when you passed out, figured i'd keep them safe for you” an Thomas takes Boh of he necklaces from the boy hesitantly “thanks minho'' padding his shoulder he smiles before walking away leaving Thomas alone to read the letter from Newt, followed by the one you gave him.

Dear Thomas

it’s been one hell of a ride, i know i always complained about being trapped by WICKED so this might be weird coming from me but i miss the glade, i miss waking up to frypans crappy breakfasts or watching the sunset right before the doors closed, it all seems like so long ago doesn't it we were so innocent back then. But now here we are, we lost a lot of Friends in the fight to get you all to the safe haven so you guys better make the most of it or I'm coming to haunt you all.

i want you to know that i never kept this all from you cause i didn't love you, god i loved you even more after i found out it wasn't going to last but i couldn't bring myself to tell you i know that it's probably selfish but i didn't want to spend our last few weeks maybe even days saying goodbye like everyone did with Newt, i wish i could be with you forever but i guess we weren't meant to be. Our time together was exactly like paradise but i wouldn't wanna change, i remember when you can up in that box back in the Glade everybody though you were one hell of a trouble maker and to be honest you really were, breaking the rules running into the maze but i loved every second of it, it didn't matter to me how many times you broke the rules or what stuppid or risky idea you had i would off followed it all, i did follow it i followed you, through the Maze, through the scorch and now through the last City saving Minho and getting Newt to safety. That was my plan and i know you’ll hate it but it was simple get you all save and leave myself behind to die out in the field so nobody has to know what was really happening to me it Will be easier that way. i’m not afraid of dying, i’m afraid of

Losing myself to this stuppid virus that turned me into a walking time bomb. I want you to know I don't want to let you all go but I have no other choice cause waiting for this serum isn't an option for me and even if we get there in time it would only push back the inevitable. I want you to be happy. I want you to live your life to the fullest and make me proud and take care of the other keep Minho out of trouble and make sure gally doesnt start a fight with some shank in the safe haven. i hope that in a few years from now you’ll smile and say that it was worth it cause it has been worth it to me. Now pick yourself up and finish what you started and lead the people that are there with you like I know you can. I know you’ll do what's right you always have. take care and remember that i’ll love you

thank you for being my best friend and my first love

goodbye tommy

y/n

Opening your eyes you sit straight up feeling a burning pain in your ankle and lifting the fabric you see the Veins disappeared and the bite mark was almost completely healed. Panic rushes through your body not knowing where you are and looking around you only see wooden furniture and bottles of medicine on a table to the side, throwing your feet over the edge you stand up finding your balance and walking past the curtain that closed of the little shed you were in and you look out over the ocean turning to the side you see an entire village that reminds you of the glade, making you think that heaven wasn't as bad as you though it was going to be walking forwards into the place you pass by field that are growing food, people building shelter with wood and right in front of you the dark haired Runner comes walking closer and you look over at him surprised “Minho?” You ask him hesitant and he smiles up you only to see Gally, Frypan and Brenda walking closer to you beside him “hey there Greenie, you look better” Gally tells you and you stand there shocked and there eyes go to something behind and turning around your faces with the brown haired boy you love and he looks a bit sad but there this little light of Hope in his eyes as he steps closer grabbing onto you an hugging you tight.

“I-i’m alive'' you ask hesitantly while you sit on the side with Thomas and he nods “how long have I been out?” You ask him “A week the serum took its time but you made it through” he tells you and guilt hits you immediately, your plan your brother was the one that should have been sitting there not you, your brother, you killed your brother you shot Newt,you almost shot yourself. Panic washes over you and Thomas seems to notice and he grabs your hand pulling you out of it “hey, you made it” he tells you again and tears roll down your cheeks “i wasn't supposed to”

“yeah, i know i read your letter” and you look up at him “Thomas”

“I did as you told me to, i picked myself up and i’m gonna keep going forwards, were gonna keep going forward together”

“After everything if done, you still want me?” And the boy nods lifting his hand an cupping your cheeks “i hate the plan you made to just go of and die on your own and i’m going to be angry about it for a while but right now your still alive and i’m not planning on letting you go anytime soon so you're stuck with me”

“Newt..” you say in a whisper “Newt would want you to live a happy live and not think about what happened because you can't change it” you know he’s right but it was going to take time to mourn the loss of your brother this wasn't the plan you made instead of silently slipping away after you saved your friends and your brother you are the one that got saved “you were infected you didn't think straight” he tells you

“I knew what was doing when i pulled the trigger, i knew in that moment i was shooting My own brother, the look in his eyes told me it was him in that last minute it told me it was okay” you tell him holding down the Tear's that threaten to slip again

“but i also know your right he wouldn't want me to give up so i wont, i Will wait for you to forgive me cause i wanna be with you cause your all if got left” you tell Thomas and he smiles reaching in his pocket and pulling something out of it and he hands it to you, taking it from him it reveals a little ring and you look up at him “after we got here and i saw you past out i started making it, i knew when i saw you laying right there that i never wanted to see you like that again that i wanted to be with you forever, so if you really mean that you wanna be with me than you'll say yes” you look at him shocked not knowing what to do or what to say “say yes to being with me forever, say yes to being my best friend, to being my girl, to being my wife, marry me Y/n” you nod not having the words to say it outloud and Thomas smiles sliping the ring on your Finger and holding onto your Hand and leaning forward to catch your lips with his before looking back up at you “Till death do us apart”

#the maze runner #thomas #newt #character death #reader x thomas #dylan o'brien #tomuary #tom uary

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burntmcnuggies · 4 years

Text

Hawks and S/O Play Among Us

Hawks x Reader

Just a small headcanon I made since me, my mom, my brother, my step-sister, and some of my friends play all the time! If you wanna play together or just chat with me lemme know and I’ll make a private group for you all to join and chat with me! ;)

Warnings: strong language, excess use of profanity, so if you don’t like very strong language please leave! A slight little bit of suggestive sexiness from Hawks, but it’s very very brief! That’s it!

Enjoy!

* Cheats all the time. So make sure you both are in separate rooms. If you’re beside him playing on your phones, he will for sure peek over and see if you’re an imposter or not.

* If you’re both Crewmate he’ll stay glued to your side. He’ll do all tasks with you, make sure he follows you if something got sabotaged, even though this may cause you to lose. “Hawks go to the other one! We only have 15 seconds!” “But what if you die? I’ll be all alone, and everyone will sus me because I stayed with you all the time!” “That’s why you don’t follow me and act sus!” Needless to say it’s difficult getting him to leave your side. If you do die, he’ll start blaming your killer even though he has no proof at all. Then he gets voted out and you do tasks together as ghosts. He’s one of those people to randomly start accusing people, and will use you as an alibi. “I was with my girlfriend and brown was following us. He’s pretty sus.” Then you get spams in the chat saying “wtf.”

* if you’re both imposters, he’ll make sure to sit by you and run around freely by himself knowing you’re safe. Even in a fictional game he makes sure you’re safe... most of the time. “FUCK! FUCK!! BROWN SAW ME!!! WHAT DO I DO?!?!” “LIE!” “THEY ALL WANNA VOTE ME OUT WHAT THE FUCK?!?!” Voting occurs, and you vote him out. “YOU BETRAYED ME?!?!” “WHAT WAS I SUPPOSED TO DO?!?! IT WOULD BE SUS IF I DIDNT!!!” He’ll start pouring and follow you around in his little ghost form, assisting in sabotage and warning you if there’s anyone around so you can kill people. If you were away from each other, he would venture on his own and sometimes follow you to see if you can double kill. “Yes! Good job, dovie, you make a great sidekick!” If you are being accused, he’ll defend you immediately, which makes it all the more suspicious. Then you both end up getting voted out.

* You’re the imposter and he’s the crewmate. You kill Hawks first. Always. You have to or else he’ll rat you out immediately. He’s very competitive if you are on opposite teams. If you do get voted out he’ll rub it in your face and laugh. “You’re so predictable, dovie. It’s not even funny!” Well, apparently he thinks it’s funny. He also thinks it’s funny seeing the pouty expression on your face. If your teammate kills him, you start laughing at him. “Hah! Yellow got revenge! Thank you yellow! Carry us to victory!” He scowls. “At least I made it farther.” If you successfully kill him, he’ll stalk you through his little ghost and scrutinize your methods. “You killed him in the open, If it were real you’d be locked away by now.” “It’s a game babe. Let me play how I wanna play. You’re acting childish cause I killed you.” “I hope they vote you out. Liar. Murderer. Imposter!” When you end up winning he’ll pout. “I’ll get you next time, baby bird.”

* He’s the imposter and you’re the crewmate. He’s very good at it. He likes to wait and kill you last since he loves to taunt you. Then he’ll lie to the entire chat and act all innocent. However, if you’re playing with friends, this plan always backfires. You don’t even suspect him because he’s so good at playing the role of an imposter, it’s almost scary. If he’s the imposter, he always wins. If he’s acting sus, you call an emergency meeting and immediately convince everyone to vote him out. It’s a desperate last effort tactic to try and win against him. Of course, he smooth talks his way out of things and you’re the one that gets booted. There will be a small little thing at the end where you are playing with friends :)

* Characters, of course yours is whatever you want, but Hawks... he loves to do stupid ass nicknames that you and all your friends and his make fun of. It’s consisted of “Sexy Bird” “No. 2 Bitches” “(Y/N)’s dick giver” “chickenman” “nugget king” “Endeavor my daddy” “Endeavorsimp” “Hawks” The last one is to try and make his fans day if he has any that play when you both just play online together. His character is almost always yellow with little goggles on top, a white suit, and a mini crewmate as his pet. Many don’t believe that it’s actually Hawks, not until he posts pictures on his social media of you and him playing together.

* Playing with Friends: You, Hawks, Endeavor, Mirko, Dabi, Tokoyami, Shoto, Twice, Shigaraki, and Aizawa (you convinced him to play) All of you are on call. Hawks invited Endeavor, Mirko, and Tokoyami. You invited everyone else. (Lets all pretend that you all are normal and there’s no heroes or villains, just all adults with jobs playing kid games. (U/N) is username by the way since you all get to choose ^^

Below is a short story I wrote for this!

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Small Key!

-(U/N) = You (Orange, Pink, Light Green)

-Sexy Bird = Hawks (Yellow)

-Dabeebee = Dabi (Purple)

-Zzzawa = Aizawa (Dark Green)

-QueenRab = Mirko (White)

-MyDadSucks = Shoto (Cyan)

-DarkBoy = Tokoyami (Black)

-Crustball = Shigaraki (Dark Blue)

-2wice = Twice (Brown)

-Endeavor = Endeavor (Red)

------------------------------------

“Hey everyone!” -(U/N)

“Stop being so happy (Y/N).” -Zzzawa

“Hey Doll.” -Dabeebee

“Dabi~! Your user name is your name in my phone!!! How sweet!” -(U/N)

“Hey, I’m right here. Don’t make me come up there and teach you who you belong to again pretty birdie.” -Sexy Bird

“TMI!! I don’t wanna hear about you’re pathetic sex like Keigo. Baby dick.” -QueenRab

“Language Mirko. Please. Who else is joining (Y/N)-“ -Endeavor

“YOU BITCH WE HAVE BOMB ASS SEX!!! TELL HER (Y/N)!!!!” -Sexy Bird

“Can we just start?” -Crustball

“Please.” -Zzzawa

“I agree.” -MyDadSucks

“Shoto change your name.” -Endeavor

“Fuck off old man.” -MyDadSucks

“I am ready to begin this journey of darkness and deceit.” -DarkBoy

“Me too! Oh hell no, I’m not doin’ this.” -2wice

“Guys! Shut up! I’m about to start the game so we all have to go on mute okay?” -(U/N)

“(Y/NNNNN)! You didn’t tell Mirko about our fucking amazing se-“ -Sexy Bird

------------------------------------

You pressed start before your lover could even finish whatever he was saying and rolled your eyes shouting from the guest bedroom. “KEIGO YOU BASTARD IM REALLY GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU SAY ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT OUT SEX LIFE!!!!” He shouted back almost immediately. “SHE CALLED OUR SEX PATHETIC!!!!” You called back. “ITS NOT BABE ITS FUCKING AMAZING NOW SHUT UP AND PLAY!!!!” The little ‘Shhhh’ appeared and it turned out you and Dabi were the imposters. You grinned widely and went towards the right of “The Skeld” map. You ran up towards weapons to pretend to do the task. You took the time to attempt to sabotage the lights like you always did, but it sadly was still loading. Then a purple little astronaut came beside you with little wolf ears. And the name labeled above was red with the word “Dabeebee.”

‘Alright Dabi... lets kick some ass.’ You thought to yourself with a grin as you finally got your kill cool down relinquished. The first thing you sabotaged was lights, and then you began your search for your lover. You went down and turned left, checking to see if anyone was in communications. No one. You then went through lower storage and up Into electrical. You were met with a dark blue color. Poor Shigaraki, your first victim. Keigo could probably wait. Dabi would back you up. You clicked the kill button on your phone and immediately jumped into a vent. You popped out of MedBay and pretended to do the sample task. Then your screen flashed.

------------------------------------

*DISCUSS/ Dabeebee reported a body*

*Crustball has died*

------------------------------------

“Well, there goes the crusty bastard. He sucked anyways.” -Dabeebee

“Where was the body?” -(U/N)

“It’s (Y/N). I know it is.” -Sexy Bird

“What the hell kinda evidence for you have that it was (Y/N)? I’ll kick your ass if you do it again. You weren’t near her you were with Endeavor and I.” -QueenRab

“Those are some pretty bold accusations against me my love.” -(U/N)

“(Y/N) was with me the whole time. The body was in electrical. We were together going down there and she kept going while I went to go do a task.” -Dabeebee

“It was Dabi! No it wasn’t, he’s a good guy! No! He’s evil!” -2wice

“It was Endeavor.” -MyDadSucks

“It’s (Y/N) and Dabi. You guys have to believe me! I know my birdie and she is an imposter right now. Don’t trust her.” -Sexy Bird

“Shut the fuck up.” -QueenRab

“Kei baby you soundin’ kinda sus, quickly blaming me and Dabi.” -(U/N)

“It’s Dabi and I. And no, I didn’t-“ -Endeavor

“WHATEVER ENDEAVOR WE AREN’T IN SCHOOL!!!” -(U/N)

“I’m a school teacher, (Y/N). Don’t forget I tutored you our freshmen year.” -Zzzawa

“That makes me sound old Shōta.” -(U/N)

“Discussion time just ended. What’re we doing?” -MyDadSucks

“I’m still voting (Y/N).” -Sexy Bird

“Oh yes, I love you too Kei’. So much.” -(U/N)

“It was dark. I couldn’t see anything. I didn’t know where I was.” -DarkBoy

“I’m votin’ Keigo cause he’s bein’ a petty little dickless bitch.” QueenRab

“RUDE.” -Sexy Bird

“I’m skipping.” -Dabeebee

“Me too.” -(U/N), DarkBoy, 2wice, Endeavor, and Zzzawa

------------------------------------

7 skips: (Y/N), Dabeebee, DarkBoy, 2wice, Endeavor, and Zzzawa

1 vote for Endeavor: MyDadSucks

1 vote for Sexy Bird: QueenRab

1 vote for (U/N): Sexy Bird

------------------------------------

*NO ONE WAS EJECTED*

------------------------------------

‘That’s good no one believe Keigo. If they did me and Dabi would be- Dabi and I would be dead.’ Next turn you went left, heading down to MedBay to “finish” the samples. While you waited you checked to see if you could sabotage. A couple seconds later the oxygen depletion was activated. ‘Nice Dabi!’ You cracked a smile and left MedBay, running into a red character, Endeavor. Poor Endeavor. You successfully reached lower engine before killing the old player. You quickly passed Mirko and your face paled once you realized she would find the body and report it, seeing you leaving. You only continued in, receiving nothing from the others about a dead body. You weren’t gonna ask questions. Suddenly...

------------------------------------

*DISCUSS/ MyDadSucks reported a body*

*Endeavor and QueenRab have died*

------------------------------------

“Well, it wasn’t my old man.” -MyDadSucks

“ITS (Y/N) AND DABI!!!! VOTE (Y/N) OUT OR WERE GOING TO LOSE!!!!” -Sexy Bird

“I already voted.” -Zzzawa

“That fast? Who’d you vote for?” -(U/N)

“Hawks.” -Zzzawa

“WHAT?!?!” -Sexy Bird

“I agree! No wait! He’s telling the truth! No way! He’s totally an imposter!” -2wice

“You are being very loud and suspicious. You’re also only blaming (Y/N) and Dabi for no reason. You didn’t even ask where the body was. You passed me coming up from reactor. And the body was in lower engine. You were the only one I sa-“ -MyDadSucks

“I WAS WATCHIN’ SECURITY CAMS!!!! CMON MAN!!” -Sexy Bird

“I’m voting Kei’ too.” -(U/N)

“Me too.” -Dabeebee

“I will not eject my mentor. He’s taught me a lot. He’s intelligent. I believe him.” -DarkBoy

“THANK YOU TOKOYAMI!!! SOMEONE HERE APPRECIATES MY SMARTS!!” -Sexy Bird

“What smarts? You’re a total birdbrain.” -(U/N)

------------------------------------

5 votes for Sexy Bird: MyDadSucks, Zzzawa, Dabeebee, 2wice, and (U/N).

2 votes for (U/N): DarkBoy and Sexy Bird

------------------------------------

*Sexy Bird WAS EJECTED*

------------------------------------

(Dead Chat)

“YOU WERE RIGHT KEIGO ITS (Y/N) and DABI!!!! HE KILLED ME WHEN I FOUND ENDEAVORS BODY AFTER SHE KILLED HIM IN LOWER ENGINE!!!” -QueenRab

“I was the first one to die. It’s been boring. I haven’t been doing anything.” -Crustball

“YOU ARENT DOING TASKS?!?!?!” -QueenRab

“They’re already going to win.” -Endeavor

“SHUT UP!!!” -QueenRab

“I KNEW IT!!!!” -Sexy Bird

------------------------------------

You covered your mouth in shock that you actually got everyone to vote out Hawks. Aizawa was annoyed, Shoto was getting suspicious of how loud and pushy he was being to vote you out without any evidence, Dabi was your teammate so of course he’d vote with you, and then Twice just went with everyone else. You ran down first, running to admin with Tokoyami following right behind you. All the sudden your lover burst into the guest bedroom and stomped over towards your bed, spreading his wings and plopping beside you. “I knew it was you and Dabi. But nobody fuckin’ believed me.” You rolled your eyes and pretended to do the key scan while you sabotaged reactor. “Keigo, you were acting wayyyyy too sus. This is why you always lose when we play with friends. You’re too loud. You gotta be calm and persuasive. How on earth did you become an undercover agent for the FBI.”

“Shut the fuck up. I just wanna win that’s all. I also wanna be right, and I was, and now everyone’s comin’ and tellin’ me I’m right.” He smirked smugly and wrapped one of his wings around you, pulling you close to his chest while he watched you play. You went with Tokoyami and when you finally got him alone in navigation you killed him. Your thumb jerked upwards to go to the vent, but as soon as you did a Dark Green astronaut cane into view. Seeing you vent and leave the dead body. “Fuck!” You cursed and banged your head lightly in your head as the screen lit up. Your lover laughed. “Hey~ there’s still a chance we could win.” You sent him a glare. “Dabi will let us win. He’s a pro! C’mon Dabi! Help me out bro!”

------------------------------------

*DISCUSS/ Zzzawa reported a body*

*DarkBoy has died*

------------------------------------

“(Y/N) vented.” -Zzzawa

“What? Aizawa I literally just fucking saw you leave the body—SHES LYING!!!!” -(U/N)

“Is that Hawks?” -MyDadSucks

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE LITERALLY THE WORST GET THE FUCK OUT OR YOU’RE SLEEPING ON THE COUCH!!!! —THIS IS MY HOUSE!!!! AND I NEED THE BED FOR MY WINGS BABY BIRD!!!!” -(U/N)

“Can you guys fuck some other time? Are you sure you saw (Y/N) vent Mr. Caterpillar man. Do you have your contracts in?” -Dabeebee

“I don’t need input from a unemployed burnt looking drug dealer. It was (Y/N).” -Zzzawa

“A bit harsh coming from a raggedy looking old man.” -Dabeebee

“Can I just point out Twice has been awfully quiet? He bein’ pretty sus right now.” -(U/N)

“I’m the imposter! No I’m not! I’m a crewmate believe me!” -2wice

“He’s too stupid to be an imposter. I’ve been with him he was in MedBay.” -Dabeebee

“Yeah I was! But Hawks is already dead and ratted (Y/N) out! So it’s gotta he her!” -2wice

“Voting ends soon. I’m voting (Y/N). My apologies.” -MyDadSucks

“Agreed.” -Zzzawa

“Awe Shoto it’s okay, I love you so much. This is why you aren’t dead yet because you’re a pure angel! -I’m sittin’ right here pretty bird- no you aren’t an angel, you’re a devilish asshole.” -(U/N)

“I love you too, (Y/N).” -MyDadSucks

“Sorry doll, votes are stacked against you. Good game though.” -Dabeebee

“Yeah, fuck you Dabi.” -(U/N)

“Anytime baby, I’m open.” -Dabeebee

------------------------------------

4 votes for (U/N): MyDadSucks, Zzzawa, Dabeebee, and 2wice

1 vote for Zzzawa: (U/N)

------------------------------------

*(U/N) WAS EJECTED*

------------------------------------

(Dead chat)

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the imposter who killed me.” -Crustball

“(Y/N) I TRUSTED YOU!!!!” -QueenRab

“Guys it’s just a game, don’t take it so-“ -(U/N)

“I STILL WANNA BEAT ALL YOU LAME ASS BITCHES!!!! ILL KICK ALL YOU’RE ASSES!!! JUST YOU FUCKING WAIT!!” -QueenRab

“Mirko please calm down. You’re being loud and obnoxious.” -Endeavor

“(Y/N) is right, even though she killed me. I applaud her devotion to the role. She outsmarted us well.” -DarkBoy

“TOKOYAMI!!! YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE!!!! -HAWKS GO GET YOUR OWN PHONE STOP YELLING AND GRABBING MINE!!!” -(U/N)

“HAWKS YOURE NOT DOING YOUR TASKS?!?!” -QueenRab

“HELL NO THATS BORING. I LIKE WATCHING (Y/N) LOSE! -HEY! I KILLED YOU!” -(U/N)

------------------------------------

You muted yourself and stopped listening to the chat of everyone arguing, mainly Mirko to everyone about doing tasks. You wondered around and looked for Dabi, following him around and assisting in Sabotage. Warm hands roamed over your waist, and a soft kiss was placed on your temple, soft red feathers brushing over your shoulders and lightly dusting over your leg. “Someone’s getting cuddly.” You announced quizzically, watching Dabi lure Twice into comms before killing him and running out. Your lovers scruffy chin rested against your shoulder, his head leaning against yours as he watched your screen. “Even though I’m still annoyed that you killed me, I’m proud of you baby bird. It’s difficult for people to out talk me. Especially you.”

“Was that an insult or a compliment?” You asked not really sure how to feel about his comment. He laughed lowly, the rumbled of his chest vibrating your back. “Hmm... let’s say both. Win win, yeah?” He began to kiss up your neck, the soft smacking of his wet lips against your skin echoing in your ears and making you shiver. “Keigo... what are you doing?” He hummed in dismissal of your words, rubbing your sides gently before slipping down to your hip. “What? I can’t love on you? I show my pretty bird some affection~?” Your lips set into a firm line and you gave him a look. “...you’re still sleeping on the couch.” He pouted. “So... no sex?”

------------------------------------

*DISCUSS/Zzzawa reported a body*

*2wice has died*

------------------------------------

“It was in communications.” -Zzzawa

“Dabi was with me the whole time. I met up with him after he finished a task in weapons. We fixed oxygen and met back up in the cafeteria and moved to reactor.” -MyDadSucks

“You’re the only one down there, and imposters can self report. You put yourself in a bit of a bind there. Mr. Caterpillar man. Guess the teacher ain’t that smart.” -Dabeebee

“I agree. My apologies Mr. Aizawa. No offense or hard feelings.” -MyDadSucks

“None taken Shoto. The evidence is stacked against me. Good game Dabi.” -Zzzawa

“Nice knowin’ ya both.” -Dabeebee

“Wait what-“ -MyDadSucks

------------------------------------

*Zzzawa WAS EJECTED*

------------------------------------

Victory flashed in your screen and you fist pumped the air cheering in victory. Hawks frowned beside you, pulling his hands away and tucking his wings between you, cocooning himself away from you to sulk that he had lost in a game he was supposed to be really good at. “Baby come here.” You called out to him, gently stroking his wings. He grunted and moved a wing down to glare. “...we can have sex later?” He moved his wings to wrap around you again and his arms were around you tightly, hot breath fanning slightly over your ear. “Thank you love bird~ and congrats on winnin’ the game. But...” You swallowed thickly. “B-But what...?”

“I’ll be winnin’ in the bedroom.”

------------------------------------

“Did you forget we weren’t on mute anymore? Horny idiots.” -Zzzawa

“Hawks!” -Endeavor

“(Y/N) IM COMING TO BEAT HIS ASS!!! DONT LET HIM TOUCH YOU!!!” QueenRab

“I think I should get reward for winning, doll. Wanna come to my place? Forget about that birdbrained idiot. Cum for me~” -Dabeebee

“DABI THE FUCK?! Stop being sexual. It’s disgusting.” -Crustball

“I don’t understand why you’re all like this. Was there a class I missed about being weird?” -MyDadSucks

“No. They’re just weird.” -DarkBoy

“Wait we lost.” -2wice

------------------------------------

END.

#my hero academia #my hero headcanons #bnha dabi #hawks #hawks headcanons #among us #my hero academia tokoyami #shoto todoroki #shoto aizawa #mr aizawa #shigaraki tomura #pro hero mirko #endeavor #twice mha #my hero academia x reader #crack headcanon

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ablackfangirlwrites · 4 years

Text

A/n: A new chapter for those of you who were waiting for this! I hope you enjoy it 💕🖤💕 again tagging @ayocee because you were a big help in making this love u boo😘

Part 1

Part 2

“You are too damn cute,” Daichi said breathlessly as he kissed you against the library bookshelf.

You couldn’t help but giggle, “Daichi- you’re going to get u-us in trouble.” You said inbetween his kisses, But he didn’t seem to care as he pushed up closer against you and deepened the kiss.

That’s how the last few days had been. You had been wrapped in everything that was Daichi. And you had been enjoying every second of it.

How did you get so lucky? Was all you could wonder. First, a random guy who is insanely hot pops up into your life and returned your precious wallet; And on top of that, he was interested in you!

And it’s been since that day you the two of you had been meeting up.

You had been right. You did have a few classes with him. And when you saw him the next day he offered to sit next to you and walk you to your next class. To which you happily agreed.

And after a few walks around campus and late-night texting sessions, you found yourself really enjoying his company. Hints the reason why you were making out during one of your study sessions in the library

So needless to say the two of you really really did hit it off.

And things really had been blissful with Daichi. He really was all the things you had thought he was, handsome, charming, funny, caring. He was literally everything you wanted in a guy.

Except there was one problem…

He wasn’t so keen on being in a relationship.

“I just got out of a relationship Y/n…” He told you the first time you brought up being his girlfriend and making things official.

“But I do like you a lot so I can definitely see myself with you if we keep this up, ” And looking into his beautiful brown eyes you believed him. And you had hope that there was a passionate relationship in the future for you two.

“But doesn’t that upset you? It’s been like a month since you started talking. What do you wanna do? Are you going to keep seeing him? ” Your friend asked you once they knew you and Daichi had been seeing each other for a few weeks. And nothing had been declared official yet.

“I don’t know...I mean I get why he doesn’t want to rush into anything, but I believe if I give him a little time we’ll be together...He’s a good guy.” You told her confidently. If anything you were trying to convince yourself. Maybe it was because of all those bad relationships of your past you were doubtful. "He just got out of a relationship he just needs time."

Daichi was different. He had to be. He was nice..he’s a good guy.

Her only response was a sigh, “Alright I trust your judgment. But even nice guys can have a bad side.”

Once again you found yourself just hoping you were right.

Things kept getting more intense with Daichi. Which was good and bad; Bad because even after seeing each other for over 3 months he still didn’t want to make it official and good because even though that was the case you still couldn’t get enough of him, he was just so good to you. He always listened to you. He was was making sure you were comfortable with him. He was literally perfect.

But you weren’t so stupid and naive, and again it might have been because of all the other times you had been used. That you had made a deal with Daichi. No sex until you were official.

The only problem with that was Daichi seemed okay with it. Make out sessions and dry humping was working for him. And he respected your boundaries, And it annoyed you to no end because the whole reason you said that was to encourage him. But that didn’t work.

There was one other issue too...His friends.

You weren’t sure if they like you or not. It wasn’t that they were mean to you either. If anything they were indifferent. Daichi talked about them all the time, making them sound fun and lively. And when you met them they all seemed great, but whenever you were around you couldn’t help but get the feeling they were all having a conversation about you behind your back. It made yoi feel uneasy. But you pushed it too the back of your mind.

“You really falling for all that? His one friend Kuroo asked you one day. After Daichi had left to do something, leaving you with his friends. Out of all of Daichi's friends he was the one that you were sure you didn’t like. As far as you were concerned Kuroo was a nerd and who was annoying and he seemed to always have something snarky to say whenever he saw you with Daichi.

“What jealous? You can't be as charming as him?” You quipped back at him.

Kuroo snorted with an eyeroll, “Sure.”

Annoyed with his attitude you spoke up again, "Whats you deal anyway? Aren't you supposed to be his friend? Or do you just not like us together?"

Kuroo signed closings his notebook and packing up his things where he was studying, “I’m just watching this one play out. It’s a shame tho you seem nice.” He was so condensing. It was always something vague with him. But you just roll your eyes and continue about your way, not giving his words much thought.

Having no idea what his words really meant.

But all good things must come to an end.

It was a random day when you saw Daichi. He had been texting you as normal all-day. And everything seemed fine. You guys even planned on seeing each other later that night to study.

But then you saw him as you were heading back to your dorm.

That itself wouldn’t have been a problem if not for the fact he told you he was still had work to do in one of his classes, and the fact you saw him with someone else. And not just anyone. Another girl.

And again that wouldn't have been a problem either if not for the fact he had his hands wrapped around her, and she him as the two of them stood there kissing in broad daylight. Not caring who saw them. Which was very different from anytime you were with him. It wasn’t like he was keeping you a secret he took you around his friends after all...but now that you were really thinking about it you never been with him kissing outside in the middle of the campus who was she?

They stopped kissing and stood there talking for a bit smiling and staring into each other eyes, just like you usually do with him and you felt the sting in your heart. You almost felt bad for just standing there watching them. Like you were invading their privacy, but they were out in public…

You wanted an answer.

You don’t know where you got the courage from but you didn’t want to be a bystander in this. So you went up to them. Praying that she wasn’t anyone serious to him. That maybe she was like you and they hadn’t been made official and you still had a chance. You still wanted hope that you and Daichi could be together.

“Hey, Daichi!” You said in a voice that was way too high.

Daichi seemed to freeze for a moment when he saw you, “oh-Y/n...Hey..er- how have you been?”

He really was acting like the two of you hadn’t been texting just a few hours ago. And you felt your heart sinking.

“I’ve been fine, Daichi…” You started to trail off

But the girl spoke up, “Who’s this Di?”

He cleared his voice, “Um a girl I study with sometimes."

You couldn't believe it, Daichi didnt even have the decency to tell her your name.

Daichi seemed to pick up how that made you feel so clearing his voice he spoke up, "Y/n.."

But the girl looked at him expecting him to say more which he also picked up on, " Annnd Y/n- this my girlfriend (girls name)” He answered avoided your gaze.

You didn’t know what hurt the most that he couldn’t look at you, or that he was in a relationship when he had been leading you on all this time.

But not wanting to embarrass yourself in front of him anymore. You faked a smile, “Yeah, ummm...I-I was just asking if you had any trouble- with that problem number 4 on the test today?” You asked him out of the blue.

Daichi seemed to sigh with relief that you weren’t making a scene, “Yeah, I did actually. But I’m sorta busy right now but we can go over it later alright?”

You were so hurt, and you were trying not to cry, “Don’t bother...I'll figure it out” You told him before walking away.

This was a nightmare! You felt betrayed! How could he? The events of the last few minutes replayed in your head. A girlfriend? No wonder he didnt want to be in a relationship with you, he was already in one! You wished so hard that it wasnt true. That he would run after you and tell you it was a joke. That you were the one he wanted. That the last few months with him weren't a lie.

But that wasn't going to happen.

You got far enough to where you were sure they couldn’t see you before you let your emotions flow....He had a girlfriend you repeated in your head over and over again. You felt so used, and stupid. This was far worst than the other guys, Because you actually believed he was different; that he was your Mr. Perfect.

But you were so wrong.

“Oof that was awkward,” You heard someone say besides you, you quickly tried to wipe away the tears on your face. Only to look to see it was Kuroo. Great, of course, it was him out of all people you thought.

“I bet you’re really enjoying this,” You said trying your best to sound tough as you fiddled with your clothes and tired to make yourself look like you werent crying.

But kuroo wasnt so cruel to tease you while you were clearly upset, and he knew the reason why, “Y/n, I’m sorry-” He tried to tell you but you werent listening.

"I dont need you pity kuroo," You said rolling your eyes and leaving.

You didn’t have time to deal with another jerk. You thought you were done with them. Daichi was supposed to be a good guy. The one you could trust. The person that was going to make your life better.

But from what you just went through and that hollow feeling in your chest, you knew how wrong you were.

#daichi x y/n #daichi sawamura x reader #f.boy daichi sawamura #daichi sawamura #haikyuu daichi #daichi scenario #haikyuu daichi x you #haikyuu daichi x reader #daichi x you #daichi x reader #daichi sawamura x you

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justalitlecreacher · 4 years

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Ok as much as I hate the events of the Rako Hardeen arc in Clone Wars and deeply wish that the council/Obi-Wan had at the very least told Anakin and Ahsoka what they were planning, I feel like the arc represents a very important turning point in Anakin’s fall and actually shows an important bit of character growth from Attack of the Clones.

Tl;Dr: The Rako Hardeen arc is my favorite and least favorite arc in all of Clone Wars because while it puts Anakin through unnecessary pain it also gives a lot of insight into why he may have fallen in Revenge of the Sith and shows some important character growth

Ok; the most important part of this post/analysis (I think) is to remember how close Anakin and Obi-Wan are. Anakin was placed in Obi-Wan’s care at the age of 9 and from then on Obi-Wan practically raised him. In Attack of the Clones we see Anakin refer to Obi-Wan as the closest thing he has to a father not once, but twice, and one of those two times was directly to Obi-Wan.”OBI-WAN: Why do I think you are going to be the death of me?! ANAKIN: Don't say that Master... You're the closest thing I have to a father... I love you. I don't want to cause you pain.”(Attack of the Clones) and later to Padmé “...He's [Obi-Wan] like my father,...”. This is especially important because when Anakin leaves his mother to become a Jedi in The Phantom Menace, Obi-Wan is literally the only friendly/familiar face in the Temple. Plus in the comics (disclaimer: I have not read all the comics just bits and pieces) we get a glimpse of Anakin training with the other padawans and it’s made clear that at least some of them don’t like Anakin at all. One padawan even refers to him as “just a slave” when shit talking him during training.(which like super fucked up; they def should’ve gotten in trouble cause that don’t seem very Jedi of them ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

Anyway; we’ve established Anakin and Obi-Wan’s bond. So let’s turn our attention towards someone who deserved so much better; Shmi Skywalker. Her death in Attack of the Clones was the first major turning point in Anakin’s fall to the Dark Side. There is really no excuse for Anakin’s actions after Shmi’s death; he goes to a very dark place, and likely taps into the dark side of the force during the massacre of the Tusken Raiders. But that’s not what we’re talking about rn so back on track.

I bring Shmi’s death up to say that while Anakin was tracking down Obi-Wan’s “murderer” I didn’t fully realize that Obi-Wan had disguised himself as Hardeen and I was genuinely worried that Anakin was about to unalive an innocent man. I really believe that the only thing that stopped Anakin from trying (and maybe succeeding) to kill Obi/Rako was like he said: he knew that Obi-Wan wouldn’t have wanted him to. This is important because the last time Anakin lost a family member he brutally murdered an entire village of Tusken Raiders, children included, and I think it’s safe to say that Shmi “the biggest problem in the universe is nobody helps each other” Skywalker would not have wanted that. I’ve finally arrived at one of my main points; this arc shows a crucial bit of character growth by showing an Anakin that is capable of thinking his actions through and not just reacting out of anger even after the loss of one of the most important people in his life; something he was previously shown incapable of when his anger and grief blind him. This turns this arc into an sort of midway point on Anakin’s fall; he’s clearly tempted to give into his anger and pain again, but he is able to resist this time. A younger Anakin may have killed “Hardeen” then and there.

This scene really contrasts with Anakin’s actions in Revenge of the Sith in a way im not sure how i feel about yet. On one hand it has potential to make Anakin’s actions in Revenge of the Sith feel too out of character. We just saw Anakin able to see past his own emotions in the wake of the death of a loved one so what makes this different? On the other hand this arc can be used to show just how desperate Anakin is to not have to feel that way ever again. It’s also good for showing how much influence Palpatine has had on Anakin in the space between this arc and Revenge of the Sith. As for why Anakin may be unable to think past his own feelings in Revenge of the Sith when he appeared perfectly capable in the arc, a likely reason is that there really wasn't anything Anakin thought he could do for Obi-Wan anymore because he believed him to be dead, but with Padmé, Anakin knew she could be saved if he could just get her the proper care. But his fear of being exiled from the Jedi Order, and his increasing lack of faith in the council led him to believe that he had no choice other than to trust in Palpatine. And no hate to Yoda but im sure when Anakin did try to reach out (even as vaguely as he did) Yoda’s response of “Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose.” didn't appear to be very helpful (especially considering that he is well aware that listening to Ahsoka’s visions and responding appropriately saved Padmé’s life (not sure if Anakin knows about that though)). These three episodes show pretty well how/why Anakin may have felt that he had nowhere to turn but Palpatine.

These groups of episodes actually show negative character growth (is that the right term?) in Anakin. He goes from commiting mass murder rated E for everyone to understanding that his loved ones would not want him to seek revenge in this way, but then he backslides into this lightsaber is rated E for everyone by Revenge of the Sith. Logically he should know that Padmé would never have wanted him to do what he did; he has to know what he’s doing is wrong, but he’s incapable of seeing another way out because he cannot handle even the thought of losing Padmé. He’s too desperate to not lose her, and so sure that there’s no other option that he manages to convince himself that he needs to do this for her. I find this entire arc really interesting but unless i want to be here all day the most i can do here is point out that it exists and that it peaks in the Rako Hardeen arc. Surprisingly i do have a life outside of writing long posts, and i lack the time and energy to analyze all of Clone Wars and write about every event that led to Darth Vader (there are so many). On top of that i actually haven’t seen all of Clone Wars; just the episodes most important to understanding Anakin’s fall.

Onto my next point, we just talked about the growth Anakin showed in this episode; now onto why i believe that this arc was instrumental in Anakin’s fall. (Disclaimer: I do not think that removing this arc alone could have saved Anakin, but i do believe it would have helped a good bit). I’ve already touched on Anakin and Obi-Wan’s bond so im not gonna do that again.

Ive said it before and i will say it again; it was super fucked up of Obi-Wan and everyone else on the Council to use Anakin’s (and Ahsoka’s) reactions Obi-Wan’s “death” for their own gain. It was super manipulative and they absolutely knew what they were doing. Obi-Wan even explicitly says, “Keeping Anakin on the outside was critical. Everyone knows how close we are. It was his reaction that sold the sniper. I'm sure of it.”(Deception season 2 episode 15). He knows just how devastated Anakin would be by his death, and he uses like Anakin and his mental and emotional well-being mean nothing to him (I know this isn’t true but its probably not hard to believe that someone doesn't care about your feelings when they’ve just tricked you into thinking they’ve died for their own gain). The Council really proves time and time again that they do not care about Anakin’s (or maybe anyone’s; Anakin was far from the only one close to Obi-Wan left unaware of his deception) mental or emotional wellbeing, but tbh i think this is the worst example of how callous the Council can be. And on top of all of that it was Obi-Wan who decided to keep Anakin in the dark Obi-Wan who should have known better; if we assume that Anakin is at least 20 in Clone Wars; Obi-Wan has known Anakin for at least 10 years, and has practically raised him from the age of 9, and yet somehow, somehow he had this idea and didn't see a single thing wrong with it. (And they really picked the worst possible person for this; like yea let’s trick the most unstable Jedi we have into thinking his closest friend/ father figure was murdered)

This arc’s main purpose (IMO) is to really show the beginnings of Anakin losing faith in the Jedi and putting more and more faith in Palpatine. Anakin trusted Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan betrayed that trust. Beyond that Palpatine is able to make Anakin begin to doubt how much the Council is telling him if they didnt tell him something as crucial as this. We even see Anakin parroting Palpatine’s “concerns” of the council not telling Anakin the full truth the Obi-Wan and the end of the arc. This arc is instrumental is establishing Anakin’s loss of faith in the council and shows how much he trusts Palpatine and sees him as a real friend.

Anyway I’m sure I had more I wanted to touch onand if I remember I will definitely edit this post but for the now I just wanna say. A) I love Obi-Wan a lot; this arc just really was not it. I do not understand how he thought this was in any way acceptable but I do still really like him. B) i fully understand that Anakin’s actions are his own and he does take a share of the blame for his own fall.

#what am i doing?#anakin skywalker #obi wan kenobi #rako hardeen #star wars #clone wars #deception arc #clone wars deception #long post #ramble #im so sorry except im not #i hesitate to use the word hyperfixation but not a day has gone by that i havent thougt of Anakin Skywalker at least once #in so long #i have a problem

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dinolikes · 4 years

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IMPOSTER - PART FOUR

summery ❤︎ Nobody has any quirks and are stuck on a ship like among us

pairings ❤︎ Imposter!Dabi x Reader

content warnings ❤︎ major character deaths

| prev.|

it was quiet for a long time, nothing except deku's quiet cries, until hawks turned around to look at the couple.

"where were you guys?"

hawks looked you up and down and noticed dabis messed up hair and your still swollen lips and squinted his eyes, "wonder girl, your with me,"

"the hell she is-"

"listen asshole! another kid is dead and I dont need you guys whor-"

"you better fucking watch your next words carefully bird brain!" dabi's called hawks names before, but this time it seemed more vicious.

"why? do you wanna stay with her so you can murder her next?"

dabi raised his fist but you grabbed his shoulder, instantly stopping him, "dabi, it's fine. ill see you soon, we'll do our rounds and then we'll be fine. the kids dont need this drama,"

touya looked at you for what seemed like an hour before finally lowering his fist, refusing to look you in the eyes as he stormed off.

you look at shoto and deku, pulling them close and giving each of them a kiss on the forehead, "stick together." you give them a warning look, them both murmuring in understanding. "good, now off you go," you struggled to see them walk away, alone, knowing there was another imposter on the loose and either one of them could be next.

hawks broke your worrying thoughts, "ive asked before and ill ask again, how're you dating dabi?"

you roll your eyes, " and ill always give the exact same answer, once he likes you, you'll get it."

he didnt respond but the look in his eyes gave his thoughts away.

"he didn't kill kaachan, i was with him the entire time."

"maybe, but were you with him when ingeniumu died? thirteen?" you opened your mouth to say that you were in the same bed when thirteen wouldve been killed, but hawks beat you to it, "correction, were you AWAKE and with dabi when thirteen was killed?"

you paused but you kept your head held up high, "why are you so dead set that its dabi? huh? why dont you think me?"

"because all the evidence points to him!"

"what fucking evidence hawks!?"

"its obvious your emotions are clouding you judgement wonder! you didnt fight this much with tomura!"

"that's because tomura was an asshole who hated all of us!"

"so is dabi!"

"sure but hes an asshole who SPECIFICALLY hated tomura! why would he work with him?"

"maybe that's part of their plan!"

"you SAW them! they hated eachother!"

"people can act!"

"yeah obviously cause your acting like a fucking dick right now when I know you arent!"

"why? because I'm pointing out that your boyfriend is a murderer?!"

you flinched when you heard a bang and you snapped towards the noise, seeing dabi at the doorway with his fist against the wall, which now had an indent exactly where his hand was.

"touya-" before you could stop him, your boyfriend turned around and stormed off, again.

you shot a quick glare at hawks before going after him, not even worrying about going off alone.

"touya! come back! you know i dont believe him right!"

you walked up and down the halls, peaking your head in a room every once and a while, always coming up with nothing.

"touya!" you felt like when you were 13, your dog had ran away and you were running up and down the streets calling his name, only to get no response.

you eventually found your dog. but he was on the road, dead, tire tracks ran through him.

you called touya's name louder and became distinctly more aware that you were alone.

the beeping on your watch made you jump half way out of your skin, you lightly laughed at yourself before the realization set in.

emergency meeting. that probably meant a body was found.

you ran towards the cafeteria where once again, everyone sat.

that is except hawks.

both deku and shoto looked frightened at the sight of you, even going as far as stepping back when you came in.

it broke your heart and you were confused, did they not trust you?

that is until you realised that you were supposed to be with hawks.

oh my god, you were supposed to be with hawks.

"WAIT! no no no! I-I can explain!" dabi nodded, thankfully looking like he knew you were innocent, "hawks was talking about dabi! l-like badly! an-and dabi walked in and he got upset by his words -which by the way," you directed your attention at dabi for a moment "i was defending you babe i swear- but-but dabi ran out and i tried looking for him but i couldnt find him and oh my god i should've been with hawks!"

dabi quickly nodded, almost embarrassingly, "yeah, i heard her yelling after me,"

shoto and deku relaxed after you explained and dabi confirmed, but deku quickly stiffened again.

"you mean dabi you were alone?"

dabi paled as he realised he fucked up.

"wait no! well yes but no! shut up!"

deku scrambled back, grabbing shotos hand to drag them over to your side of the table.

fuck wait- what?

"n-now hold on- we cant just accuse dabi!"

"me and shoto were together in medbay the entire time! if it isnt you then its dabi! twice said there was one more!"

"w-well how do we know we can trust twice? he WAS the imposter!" you desperately cried, dabi nodding quickly.

"exactly! hes a murder how do w-"

"i believe deku." shoto said, so quietly you could barely hear him. he didnt look up at anyone, avoiding the eyes of his brother.

"sho-" dabi took a step forward but shoto quickly stepped back, keeping the same long distance between them, pushing both you and deku back with you.

you frantically look at dabi, who had a look of genuine hurt, "n-no! dabi isnt the imposter!"

"hey," you snap your head towards shoto, who had finally looked up so you could clearly see the tears in his eyes, "this isnt easy, but your emotions are clouding your judgement."

you thought back to hawk's words, he told you the exact same thing.

you look back and forth between dabi and the boys, both looking desperately at you.

"cmon y/n, your my doll! i would never betray you like this!" your eyes soften as dabi almost pulls you forward with his voice.

"hes lying!" deku cried, pulling you back, "he was mad at hawks right? no one sees him and now hawks is gone!"

he had a point and you hated you, your eyes welled up as you thought about it.

"doll trust me! i swear!"

"dont trust him!"

you thought to hawks words, he didnt like anyone.

he only liked you and shoto, who just so happen to be alive. the one he could stand is dead, but he was more useful dead then alive to him.

you didnt sleep much but you DID sleep, and you could almost remember waking up to dabi walking back into the room, claiming he needed to use the washroom.

he was mad at hawks.

you look behind dabi and see the room used to push the imposters out, the door open. all you had to do was shove him in quickly and pull the lever.

"doll," you look dabi in the eyes, seeing him plead with you. "cmon y/n, please."

you step forward towards dabi, "did you do it? be honest with me, did you do it?"

something flashed in dabi's eyes, "no."

and grief filled you, because you realised that at this moment, you didnt believe him.

you looked away as you raised your arms, pushing him into the room and locking it.

dabi's eyes widen in shock but soon squint to hide the tears.

"I love you y/n." he choked out

you look him in the eyes, "I love you too." you yank down the lever, sending him flying into space and you into a fit of hysteria.

you sobbed so hard you fell down, shoto and deku attempting to comfort you but you push them off,

"sho, how about you and deku go watch a movie in your room." shoto slowly nods, taken deku away.

when the door closes you let out a sob.

how was shoto doing this? he acted so, so strong.

i mean i guess he was related to touya, hes gotta be strong.

you lightly laugh.

you couldnt believe it

touya, the love of your life, was dead.

and you killed him.

you were wracked with grief, questions rang through your head like what if you were wrong, what if twice was lying?

even worse though, what if twice wasnt? what if you werent wrong?

you didnt think it would be either deku or shoto, but the voice in the back of your head always pointed out how deku always was a bit too peppy, and shoto always seemed apathetic to everything. you always shook those thoughts out though.

the worse of the ideas though, was what if you were right? then what, was all of your moments with touya just...nothing? was he just using you as a good alibi? because he knew you were less likely to suspect him?

it wasnt until weeks later, when headquarters had called you in that you found out.

they had all of the survivors (which was just you, deku and shoto) and asked if they wanted to see the footage, which would prove if you were right or not.

you all agreed, though you more hesitant.

what if you were wrong?

you changed your mind, being wrong is a LOT worse then being right.

you couldnt confirm that though, because when they pressed play, there dabi was, all sweaty and standing above thirteens body.

they also showed tomura infront of ingeniumu, twice infront of kaachan, and dabi infront of hawks.

you all were crying, there were your friends, murdering your other friends. you could barely hold in your sobs.

as you all walked out, none of you said anything and just kept walking down and out the building.

it wasnt until you felt the soft breeze that you spoke up, "are you guys still up for that froyo?"

they slightly smile and nod.

tag list - @axerrri @underratedmage

#dabi #dabi x reader #dabi x y/n #dabi x you #mha dabi #mha headcanons #mha imagines #mha x y/n #dabi is touya #among us #touya todoroki #touya x reader #toya todoroki #bnha dabi #bnha #bnha x y/n

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pokefanbri · 4 years

Text

For you.

Nomatter our storms, I glowed bright while with you, so much that I'd do anything for you, even take a bullet. I know you glowed around me too. My heart felt vibrations it never knew it had. But now I dont just glow, I burn brighter than a thousand suns & for myself. But dont forget the light I shined into your life. When you needed me most, I was always there. To not be that for me, well..the way things were left should've shown me you were never willing to have my back in return like I always suspected. Something broke in you, early on it was though you were lost, not the same, different than the spontaneous romantic man that I used to know & boredom of me set in quick. My light dwindled thereon but I still shined it on you anyway. Depression can affect so much i know, dont let it, but if it does take a stand & do something differently to help the situation at hand

Sweetheart you broke my spirt, I trusted you not to hurt & let me down. I was unacceptable to you, but i accepted you. No girl deserves that treatment to their heart. You may guard yours til you find what your looking for, but 1st find what you're missing, know how you affect, actually care about a girls feelings & yes even more than your own if u wanna make her happy. Love is when you go out of your way to make someone happy..its feeling happy with someone by your side..but u lost that.. your light.

Thats all i did & making sure you were was a full time job...u lost interest anyway, but you didnt care about mine as much...my happiness was everything to do with you babe...you're all i had up there. What would happen if i did go to work then, would u go behind my back with some1 else or wait for me to come home with backrubs at the ready? actually fucked my life up because i trusted you when I shouldn't have, & didnt have to result to that all either 😔 Dont hurt a girls heart for the sake of protecting yours, from ever being shown. You expect someone to do anything for u out of love, expect them to listen of your promises of love but then cannot deliver the same.

Why do you hate me my love, what did i ever do to deserve an unjust chance with you at all. Why did you try to be with me if you weren't expecting love to happen. Ive never met someone so heartless toward someone else's. Love knows no bounds, apparently you do.

This is extremely important. Sweetheart the more you hold back, the more it makes it so much harder to find...Believe that. Your heart needs vulnerability so you can feel it. God if u felt the way do..in any relationship really, your heart might beat for the 1st time. Its a bizarre & great feeling cuz u just know, its the heartbreak that follows which hurts so much.

You treated me like i was a bad influence after things were said & done, made me out to be the bad guy, but I wasn't at all. I was damn good to you babe 😔 I deserve to be treated fairly. But the more i was ignored, the more my health was low. You affect me in a good way, but also in a way that was destroying me. 90% of my sobbing was over you not being there for me.

My point is, dont ever let someone down again, do not betray them, do not treat them like you do a random on xbox, sympathize & relate, be more accepting of others. Be better for their sake & your own. Open your heart..even if you guard it to not be hurt..thats just part of the experience.

It killed you to be alone before, you're right back where you started...and now I'm in the same boat. As much as i should hate you I can't, cause nomatter how much you hurt me or hurt eachother...the limitless forgiveness I get from God, our experiences & kindness together and just the shitty timing of 2020 prevents my heart from pushing you out completely.

If I could have the "if we were still alone with no kids & tired of the bs at age 35-40ish" pact with any best friend, id reserve it for you babe hands down. You are best guy friend afterall, whether you consider me one idk. And if u ever want dating advice & whatever help u need regarding a relationship, im here to give any encouraging advice ❤

Few last words. I found the broadcast of her memorial & sat with undivided attention, was like I was at church again 😊 loved the welcoming warmth. Saw you speak, heard what you said, you spoke well but were so sad i wanted to hold you & take your pain away 😥 I broke down as I sit there thinking of your grandma & how I would've loved to meet her. I was praying..speaking to her as if she were listening & ofcourse about u, praying for u & asking for her God & all my passed loved ones to lay their hands on me & pray with me. A breezy chill ran up my spine & I calmly paused...but then i continued to cry even harder & fell to my knees, i know I was heard. Hope u dont dismiss my heart to heart writing if u find them. I give great advice..somewhere in all the nonsense 🤔 jk. That scar on my left leg from your basement steps 😂 you left your mark on me in that way as well, you'll always be a part of me. Ive continued my progress from up there, I began to change the things u didnt like but kept going after things ended. I've quit smoking & feel/look better than I have in ages..whilst still keepin u in mind, I have you to thank 100%. U know how much of a dick you are lol knock it off. U best not turn into a bitter old man rather than sweet as sugar. Accept her, eachother at your worst, & she'll be the best...& you'll be the best for her too. Hope you grow & get to experience true mutual love 1 day. Nobody will take care of your needs if u simply don't for them.

You were an awesome & beautiful waste of my time. Let 2021 be hopefully different & less shitty for us both. Protect yourself & stay safe out there. Pray to God everyday & ask for healing. You're definitely a Trip to remember, see u around someday friend

I have nothing else to say.

❤👋

https://open.spotify.com/track/1uviKYHZuM4uINK33F7sCt?si=XMEoUDe3RKOYk4z4HuYO9Q

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soldierallen · 5 years

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Married. 12

Tagged @hiddlestonstansworld @lovely-geek @imcalledflorence @misz-adrii @escapistdreamer-wishfulthinker @someplxce @cuddlesforlashton @coffeebooksandfandomsohmy @weasley16 @ilovethewayyourheartbeats @vogueworthy-barnes @xeniarocks @thisismysecrethappyplace @racheo91 @gravedollie666 @inlovewith3 @supernaturaldean67 // if anyone wants to be untagged or tagged please leave a message ty♡ also I do not own any gifs or images of any kind.

Warnings: some casual crying, arguing, and a little - romance

Reminder: also a few things from previous chapters will come up!

Part 11:

Appearances: Sebastian Stan, Anthony Mackie, Henry Cavill, Chase Crawford, Morena Baccarin, Alexandria Daddario,

Her interview was going well chase was well respected and she respected him the way he held himself in the midst though she was extremely nervous.

"Thank you for your time mr crawford, and I can't believe you're with elena shes been a good friend to me for so long" she smiled shaking his hand he stood up "thank you for coming i appreciate the work you do having someone like you on this team would be a delight, elena is a good women any friend of hers is a friend of mine" he smiled, he was gorgeous she thanked him once more and she opened that big door that was extremely heavy might I add, she looked out into the office waiting room stood sat sebastian he immediately stood up to see her walking up to her quickly "so?" He rubbed his hands together waiting for the news

"I'm pretty sure I got it" She said squealing he laughed hugging her tightly "oh bug I knew you could do it I just knew it!" His hands on her biceps she was excited her life was getting back on track all because of seb, "it's like faith brought me here first elena than chase has a deal with a guy at BlackRock YOU I mean the pieces are falling together" She said with a huge smile on her face, her smile fell thinking of the shitty news shes going to tell sebastian "hey can we talk for a minute?" He nodded

"Henry doesn't like us being friendly" she air quoted the friendly bit, sebastian nodded "I don't wanna stay away from you - you mean too much to me I just need there to be boundaries about us as in-" she took a deep breath "I'm living with Henry now" sebastian was shocked "you're living with him after he told you?" Sebastian said she was more confused than ever

"Told me what"

"About the kid?" He said slowly, he knew Henry never told her or the rest of them for that matter. they kept a big secret from her he's not gonna let that slide anymore sebastian was tired of keeping secrets even if it wasn't his secret to keep..

"Seb what are you saying right now?" She felt her heart getting quicker "it's none of my business-" sebastian said whilst being cut off by a hand tugging on his shirt "you're the only person I trust right now don't make me over think it"

"Morena's pregnant, and everyone's sure it's Henry's he just wont admit to it" he felt like a snake, betraying his best friend- but y/n was his best friend too

"I'm gonna KILL HIM" her adrenaline coursing through her veins she felt angry

"No it wasn't my place to say anything we've known about it for months it was between the four of us" what he said made her angrier she stormed out of the lobby hitting the streets- she looked around for a cab near by sebastian ran after her "doll what are you doing"

"What does it look like I'm doing" she pushed the hair out of her mouth quickly "he's getting a piece of me" she hailed the cab and sebastian jumped in her hands shook, he wanted to ruin it for Henry because well Henry didn't deserve her and I don't deserve her neither - however at least I didn't keep something like this from her.

he was in love with her he wanted to marry her. All along hes lied to her countless of times that he wasn't interested he didn't want her when he was lying the whole time.

"doll slow down" his hand crept up on her thigh "how could you all LIE TO ME" she shouted being angry warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach alerted her what was making her feel like that? His hand on her skin the small light touches of his finger tips sweeping across her thigh.

"it wasn't our place to say anything." He kept his word, a phone call from sebastian's phone he looked at it, it was Henry. "Is that him?" She asked and he swallowed "answer it on speaker" "Hey" he answered holding the phone in the palm of his hand so she could hear the speaker turn on

"seb I called your office they said you skipped work today? For a special occasion?" her heart shuttered knowing he skipped coming in to be with her, he always did stuff like that she just thought he's being my friend I'm always just going to be his friend she looked at him with a bit of dreamy eyes and slowly she stopped herself coming back to reality that Henry was going to be a father.

"Yeah everything went great" he smiled to himself and she saw his smile "listen Henry where are you?" He asked

"Well I was calling you for a drink me and the guys are at that bar" he said with a laugh

"Oh okay I'll meet you there" he hung up "y/n let's not do this in public it's bad press" he said trying to lighten the mood and she didnt take note to it, "sebastian this isn't funny I'm being lied to for 8 fucking months without a soul telling me otherwise that Henry's going to be a father"

"Hey can you make a right here" sebastian said while she was talking

"I can't fucking believe it" she crossed her arms over her chest spreading her legs like a little kid would when they would have a tantrum, then finally arrived to "Jameson's room" a stuffy bar with a pool table

"Seb glad you cou-" Anthony said as he saw who walked in behind him, y/n.

"Hey baby what are you doing here" Henry smiled ready to grab her hand and kiss her cheek lovingly when he saw her face

"Can I speak to you outside?" She tried to make it sound like she wasn't so angry but it came out worse

"Darling what's wrong?" He got up from the stool slowly about to grab her hand she pulled away "woah alright what the hell?" He was offended "outside now" "no whatever you want to say you can say it here" "I don't think that's a good idea" sebastian interjected "SEB" she said he held his hands up in defense taking a step back

"Okay let's talk right here! you got Morena pregnant and didn't even THINK to tell me you're going to be a father?" she felt like the whole room went quiet Chris turned pale as did Anthony their blood ran cold.

"How did you find out" Henry said he was shaking he was scared, God she's never seen him like that. He knew in his heart this is going to set her off it's over.

"It doesn't matter, but what does matter is I've poured my heart out my soul my bank account to all of you, and you kept this secret from me letting me start to date you when you had you're own SHIT to deal with, I was going through a hard enough time getting over sebastian and his fucking marriage you swept me off my feet making me feel whole again" she felt a tear form she quickly stopped herself

"I called Morena she told me herself she was the women you were having sex with at the hotel am I right or wrong?" She lied she never called Morena she just wants to know if the pieces match up. Henry cleared his throat "yeah" "you know Henry you said to me not so long ago We need you happy we need you healthy you are only hurting yourself, but in the long run you've been hurting me this entire time" she shallowed back her tears

"I trusted you, I trusted Chris, I trusted Anthony- you know I thought for once things were different this time and you would stop lying to me stop keeping secrets from me but no, it's still happening."

with that she opened the bar door leaving out of their lives "doll" sebastian ran after her, Henry now suspicious he runs right after him.

"Sebastian I can't look at you" she was already crying he was steps away from her she was looking at the sky her back was turned, he knew she was happy today however he couldn't let Henry have her because of what he did.

"I said I was happy for you when you chose Henry- for 10 minutes, I took a girl up to my room I pulled her clothes off and I kissed her I thought maybe she would fill the void like I always do." Seb yelled out from afar

"And I knew she wasn't you, nobody was you, that night we sat on the hood of my car, we talked about how lifes been treating us since the move, and I couldn't get you out of my head when i went home I should've seen it all before but it was my fault" she turned to look at him

"I almost got married to a women I hate because i thought i was in love with her because she filled the void for the first time i was amazed by infatuation" Henry's heart was beating so loud in his ears he felt a sudden pressure in his head hearing these words come out of his friends mouth.

"I lied, we all did, because we thought he was gonna tell you we begged him for months to say anything. He never said a word that isn't on me or Chris or Anthony it's on Henry"

"do not turn your back on us" she felt tears form in her eyes once again, she quickly tried to stop herself

"I trusted you God I trusted all of you! I thought we were done with secrets when we caught her cheating on you, where were you when I needed you when I was in my darkest moment" she argued she pushed his chest over and over he took it he deserved it "he's here now please don't turn your back on me" he whispered so softly and in his gentlesy voice she finally broke down in his arms they got closer to the ground every couple seconds until they were both hugging sitting on the side of the pavement cars passing along not knowing what was unfolding on the streets, mindless.

"As soon as he walked in with her I knew, just something in my gut said sebastian told her everything" Henry sipped out of his beer, playing with the small coaster underneath "his finally got her, by default." He sipped his beer and with a disgusted look on his face he grabbed his jacket and left

her head in his chest, his hand cradling the back of her head his lips pressed against the top, "I'm still mad at you" she said tears streaming down her face "I know it's okay, I'm not looking for forgiveness I'm looking to be apart of your life again maybe it wi take you years to forgive me and I'm just gonna have to wait for you like you've waited for me." he kissed her hair and they untangled themselves from each other "I'm gonna get us a cab sleep over tomorrow we'll search for an apartment" he lend her a hand to stand up and she took it "you know I'm tired of crying over you" she tried to lighten her mood, he gave a sad smile and hugged her side "I'm sorry for all the tears doll" he wiped them for her they grabbed a cab and headed off to his apartment,

She was in his room, he opened his draws and looked for clothes for her just until tomorrow he side eyed her every move she looked around his room, her fingers caressing his picture frames "when was this" she asked he looked at her, it was a photo of all of them in front the fireplace at Anthony's house, her head laid on sebastian's shoulder and the other three boys laughing at something, she' never saw this photo until today.

"remember we all went to that football game and it started to pour Anthony's house was the closest to the school we got soaked and spent the night at his place" he said packing a shirt for her and sweatpants which were incredibly loose

"Oh yeah I forgot about that night, Anthony's mom took that picture, i miss her" she remembered and smiled to herself she got closer to sebastian as he handed her the clothes

"thanks for letting me crash here, I'll be out of your hair" she said about to walk out the room her back turned to open the door "what if you don't crash here" he shut one eye with his face scrunched up

"Sebastian I cant-" his face relaxed he shushed her "let me finish, pay rent to me same rent you paid in your shit apartment you have your own room you can share an office with me kitchen bathroom oh the backyard you lost your virginity in" he smiled at the last part and she came closer to him so she could hit him in the shoulder which made her laugh slightly his eyes were glued to her smile

"Hows it sound?" He desperately awaited her reply

"I don't know.." she didn't want to live with anyone she wanted to be alone but maybe it's better to live with sebastian? Living with Henry I was living with a boyfriend if I live with seb... it's my best friend hes like my roommate..

"You don't have to make the decision now of course" he reassured her, "give me some time I'll think about it".

It's been a few days her crashing with sebastian she hasn't spoken to chris anthony or henry but at least she saw Henry when she picked up all of her stuff he looked drained, however he was happy and she knew he was happy- "y/n can I talk to you" morena said as she sat in the frame of the door sebastian looked at her and she looked at sebastian

"okay?" She said and a sudden arm pulled her back a little "be careful don't anger the pregnant women" he whispered, she walked away with Morena

"Listen I know things are bad between you and Henry but he loves you he always has don't cut him out of your life for a lie just because he didnt want you to look at him differently, come to Christmas dinner everyone is coming bring sebastian make amends" she was being nice and sweet how could she even argue "Morena I don't know it's strange now i can't come to terms with being friends with Henry after all that..." she said Morena nodded "okay there's a seat open for you, come if you'd like" she said going to Henry in the kitchen she walked back into the bed room with seb "what was that?" Sebastian whispered "she invited me to Christmas dinner" she whispered back

"Are you going?" He whispered taping a box shut

"No" he nodded taking the last box out to the car, she came in the kitchen morena was talking to Henry, Henry stopped looking in her direction looking right at y/n and she turned as well

"Uh well that's all of it...I'll see you sometime h." she said

"y/n" she heard his voice for the first time in days, her eyes looked directly at him "are you...are you happy?" His voice seemed so groggy, "I am, I've always been" she walked out of the door she saw a big van sebastian leaning on the car a beanie covering his head his hands in gloves the snow flurries falling on his jacket "come on doll your chariot awaits" he laughed loudly she closed the door behind her, a new chapter it was starting..slowly

"Do you really want to do this right now?" She looked at sebastian dead in the eyes and he looked right back at her "is this a challenge y/n are you challenging me????" Sebastian said getting up off the paint splattered floor his hair had bits of dried paint his hands covered in it her shirt was covered in paint as well as her hands, whilst music played loudly they fought with white and grey paint he wiped it on her face which started the whole fiasco, and here we are two idiots who are desperately in love with each other covered in paint not thinking about what the future might hold or what about tomorrow, it's today and right now.

She tripped slightly over a paint brush on the floor he tried to grab her before she fell and they both fell side by side, they looked at the ceiling she got on top of him her legs are either side of him "I'm tired can we take a break?" Sebastian said laying on his back looking up at her

"Where do you expect me to sleep?" She said putting a little wet paint on his nose, she stood up and she gave him a hand up

"In my room duh?" He said she pushed his shoulder and he pushed hers, they finished up with the room and put all the furniture back and new furniture as well, that was hell to build she thought.

There was a knock at door, "hey doll can you get the door for me" sebastian said whilst washing his hands, she nodding going to the door.

Alex.

Will she ever go away?.

"Alexandria" she said

"Y/n" she said with a small laugh she was clearly annoyed that I had answered the door, "where's sebastian"

"None of your God damn business go home." as y/n was about to shut the door on her face she stuck her foot to block it from opening hitting y/n in the face with the door a freak accident

"What's going" sebastian said as he panicked from the loud noise of y/n's face hitting into the door as Alex was now in their home.

#sebastian stan #imagine #sebastian stan x reader #anthony mackie #chris evans #henry cavill x reader #sebastian stan fic #sebastian stan imagine #alexandra daddario

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tigerheart101 · 5 years

Text

Back from a break

Sorry to my friends and fellows for my silence. i took a major mental health break.

because i learned that the majority of this world is made up of liars. Even people who claim the best intentions, when they find a weaker soul they will manipulate their ways into a win.

The day when a slightly troubled but generally obsesssively careful and good person is prosecuted when they helped someone who was legit a bad person with bad habits and they helped this person be good and happy and just generally well behaved but still be themselves. then just one day the good person is so emotionally and mentally drained because they have overloaded themselves with work because everyone keeps saying they can handle it that their smart enough their strong enough except that bad person who all though they never out right said anything they constantly reminded them they were nothing but what others wanted them to be then eventually this good person snaps.. stops talking, stops function and ultimately STOPPED HELPING. my best friend who i have learned is 1 of the only people i have ever been able to trust more then my own family finally said to me. “it does no good to be a good person if everyone sees you threw a bad filter. and it does no good to give more of yourself to help others when you have nothing left to help yourself. cant fill someone elses glass to the top with water when you only had a half cup of water left in your own. “

Id love it if i was such a hard core edgy person that i can say these experiences have taught me to say fuck you to the world and help myself. but it hasnt, i just today gave a stranger 5 dollars to buy herself a bus ticket home to her kids. i still watch 5 kids for a friend for free because their going threw alot and really just needed a bit more help. i still take care of everyone while cried in my uber ride today cause we passed a pilot station. this is just who i am ok. these experiences, ruined my education. but i wont let it stop me, i got my ged last month and i will be going to school for my associates and later my degree soon as i can securely. i just got hired for a great job, and i start work in a week and im excited to do it. i have a girlfriend who is going threw her own struggles and yea we fight sometimes but i love her and i refuse to give up on us because i dont give up on people. i have my own family, not one i was born to, not one out of obligation or just so they can say they tried to help the troubled girl. but one that loves me up and down. who has watched me grow up in hell threw when i was generally bad (which my bad was having additude, crippling stress and a short temper) and my good which is not now and not then.. my good is a day when i wake up after a good night sleep. which is rare. i have stopped taking all my antidepressants and anti anxiety even my migraine meds...and you know what..i am so much happier...yea i am traumatized and scarred after this last year of hell.. but being honest without the meds that supposedly are suppose to help me. i have more happy days.. my meds had caused me to gain weight rapidly on top of the far from healthy way i ate. my meds made it so yea i didn't cry as much but when i should have been crying i was sad as hell but i didn't cry, i didn't scream i did nothing but sleep, go to school, and sleep some more, eat whenever i was forced out of the house or someone else put it in front of me.... i dont need it. i hate drugs, before it was just illegal ones. right now its all of them.. because i was a good girl, i did everything my doctor told me to. and all it did was ruin my life. it killed my motivation to function, it made me into a zombie who could barely function and my doses where never even that high. i was so careful i started on tiny doses to try and prevent this very issue and i still had it.. it made me process my heart ache and stress as anger. it made me scared of leaving my room and it made me just want to sleep all day.it made what was never a very healthy body to begin with a much more unhealthy body and nearly made me diabetic because my metabolism was so slow i could no longer handle all the sugar and food and carbs i ingested.

right now, i should be angry, before i would have been, i would have felt it all as anger and frustration thats all i felt when on my meds.. but right now i dont have it in me to be angry anymore. those who hurt me when i did nothing then be the best i could. i dont care anymore. to those who hurt me out of anger because i stopped making myself sick to keep them happy. To those who gave up on me because of others lies, or things that are just honest to god normal. or things i had no control of. i hope you feel better. im sorry i pushed you all to the point of giving up, or hating me. im not angry with any of you. i forgive you for your part in it all. and im sorry for mine. im sorry i didnt have it in me to beg for help, or say something when i was stressed, or ask for help when my whole body begged for me to cry or scream but all i did was go to bed. im sorry to my therapist for the fact i couldnt tell you what was wrong with me and every time you gave me homework i never ever did it because i didnt want to acknowledge my feelings and validate them long enough to deal with them and i wanted to just ignore them. im sorry to my family that i wasnt loud enough, funny you always said im loud as hell tis annoying, but for once the problem was i wasnt talking enough and you forgot who i was, you forgot everything about me, dont to the fundamentals of who i am. im not angry, im not resentful, im honest to god heart broken. i have dated alot i know it. im young thats normal its part of finding yourself for some girl. what i learned, is no heart break is the same as having your own family reject you. no pain is as bad as legit being told that your not wanted, that your a wasted time or that they wish they had never meant you when they are your own blood.

but im not angry. i was bitter at first with everyone. i didnt understand who people who claimed to protect and love me. could have forgotten who i am at the very core of me. so quickly. but i get it now. thank you, you taught me alot. you taught me my voice is valid. im loud as hell, but at least someone hears me. you taught me that its okay to not be okay because fuck being okay. you taught me who really loves me. you taught me i have fucking amazing friends, and which ones they where. you taught me that my biggest fear, was gonna be my greatest strength.

my girlfriends who family disowned her cause shes trans. She says everyday that only people she trusts is me and her grandmother who is only family she has left. we get in fights built on the foundations of these exact trust issues.

i understand and respect her pain. but i dont get it. she knows that and loves me for it. because i went threw hell this last year. and lost alot of people to lies. but i still trust everyone. i still offer my neighburs baked goods and a smile every time i see them. i still give homeless people a dollar cause they asked. i still love my family even those who never wanna talk to me. and thats ok.. i dont get the distrust. because to me.. being happy is about being yourself. and you know what. im naive, im volnerable, im ditzy, and oblivious, i trust to much, i give to much of myself, and i love people who dont always deserve it. and im ok with that. my kindness might be undeserved but ill give it. i have been nearly killed, betrayed, abused, and assaulted. but each of those people could come to me right now for help. and ill still give it to them. because i was taught if i have it to offer it to someone who needs it. im okay with that. my girlfriend can be distrusting and angry thats okay to. because i need someone to protect my volnerable ass cause i wont risk hurting someone else to protect myself.

#growth #growing up #learn from the past #pride #strength #future #mentalhealth #abuse survivor #abandonment issues #daddy issues #hope #goals #forgiveness #serious #deep #emotional

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arkus-rhapsode · 6 years

Text

Eden’s Zero Chapter 1 Review

Hey guys, now before I dive into this already longer than usual review, I did wanna take this time to mention something. Its been no secret that I turned on Mashima and FT pretty hardly after the end of FT and some of you may be aware that I was moderately active in the fanbase with putting out my reviews and such. That said some may liken that shift in mentality to me not liking how the story went and a common critique of fans is that when what they’re fans of doesn’t gel with what they want they wanna destroy it. As if the fan has ownership of the source of the fanaticism.

I admit there are times that I’ve question decisions on Hiro Mashima’s end and has posted rewrites, but that’s not me doing it out of a sense of ownership. I’m doing it because I have a standard. Being a fan of something and letting your disappointment get to you and fester into salty, bitchy purest is one thing, but being a person who’s judging what a series puts out and actually caring about the quality of what’s in the popular media is important. FT got negative reviews in its latter half because it was that bad. By the end of the series it was legit that bad. Now I don’t say that is someone who was in the fanbase and hated Hiro’s decisions cause they weren’t mine, I hated them because it was bad writing. I’m a reader with standards, as are all of you, and in the digestion of media we make distinctions between good and bad. I make this claim with more concrete surety now that I’ve been around longer and have reviewed more series than just FT, I think it be harder to believe if I made this case when I was just starting and all I was talking about at the time was FT.

Some of you might remember when I first started out on MHA, my second chapter I ever reviewed I had found it boring and mundane and to date its my least popular MHA review and I still stand by that assertion. I hold everything to the same standard, and that includes FT. The reason I write this is that while throughout this review I will mention comparison’s to FT’s first chapter (and yes, even ways Eden’s Zero improved on it), but I will be holding it to the same standard. So this entire review won’t be me holding a grudge against Hiro, but it will be me holding it to the same standard as I do everything I read. That out of the way lets dive in.

We open on a hill side and met our MC named Shiki. Beside him is the mecha demon from the cover page and what they see is a... dragon. Yeah, Hiro I thought you wanted this to be wholely original?

On the hand I actually like this scene in the sense robo demon here is actually encourging actual adventure (something FT lacked) and its kinda amazing listening to this demon looking guy talking about friendship, yet on the other hand, damnit Hiro. Is this the only thing how to write about? Like damn man.

We cut to the future where we see our main female Lucy-I mean Rebecca! Y’know I could make a Rebecca from One Piece joke, but she’s kinda already a bit of a decisivee figure so I’m not gonna bother.

I mean its okay. Its just castle theme park. Also Rebecca we find out is apparently a youtuber. Look if DBS can have GodTube then I can put up with Blue Cate (Aoneko) website. Also yeah Happy here, no sugar coating its just Happy. Also Rebecca here purposely made her skirt short. Just because you point out the sexualization in canon doesn’t make it better, ya still drew it, Hiro.

We see that the theme park is full of robots and each one acts as an assist in sending the guest through some kind of medieval simulator. And if anyone has seen Westworld you know where this is heading. To be fair I love worldbuilding so please, explore!

So we find out Rebecca’s dream is to have one million suscribers and now here’s where I gotta give props to Hiro because he actual made a dream for a character that doesn’t seem like it can be achieved a chapter from now. Granted this seems a bit hard to actually quantify, but this dream could potenially evolve into something of why she wants the suscribers and could be like Nami making the map of the world that getting video of unknown locations may actually be worth something to the general population.

We see that Rebecca chooses to go on a monster hunting quest and they encounter...

...This thing. Also it seems Rebecca’s character quirk is she really likes cats I guess? But this doesn’t last long as someone crashes down on mecha cat.

Okay that was kinda funny. I mean if this was FT would’ve actually gotten the panty shot so maybe Hiro has learned his lesson! Also note that wrench!

Oh god damnit Hiro. So this tarzan guy after acting like an animal is knocked out by Rebecca. Y’know it took about 60 chapters before Natsu got all up in Lucy’s chest, guess we’re cutting straight to the chase here.

Okay is joke with here just going be about here short skirt? Damning it with faint praise here, but at least he still hven’t flashed us them yet. Also Tarzan here is the only human on the island.

We get some scenes of Shiki here wanting to be friends with Rebecca cause she’s a human and Rebecca isn’t interested and she returns to the Granbell town where Shiki is there and the robots know who he is.

Shiki’s expressions and creepy advances really gives off this tinge of sci-fi horror, unfortunate Hiro doesn’t really go that route and we’ll get to it. Also that wizard looking robot from the color page is also here.

They then have a party where the robots all celebrate them having a costumer for the first time in so long they have a party being nice to Rebecca and lavishing her with stuff outside is robot that looks like Robin Hood and he reports to his boss this machine king.

Oh look, Hades if he was a robot.

We see Shiki trying to bond with Rebecca and it leads to him expressing he wants to leave the kingdom and see another country, but we also learn he’s in charge of fixing this and the robots are acting up lately. We find out that the one who was talking to Shiki and is his “Grandfather” was called the Demon King a robot designed for playing that role in the park.

Umm Rebecca... That’s being a dick. So you don’t like it, so you decide to cut it, cause it bothers you. You could’ve framed it like, “If he fixes you up then maybe he needs better vision” or “He’s been so nice to me, let me do something for him.” And what makes this worse s that Shiki is asleep, so she doesn’t even consult his feelings. Like seriously, that’s not being a good friend . But for contrivances sake I’m sure Shiki will wake up and love it, won’t he?

Huh? I was wrong instead we got shitty 80s comedy. I don’t know if that’s better or worse.

Y’know I said I’d give Hiro atleast two free fanservice moments for his first 3 chapters. He’s now used all of them up in a single chapter. Also Rebecca is tied to a stake while robots with torches surround her along with the machine king.

Shiki is also there and here’s something that did remind me of rave, the tightness of the first chapter. Everything seems to flow like one continuous story and doesn’t seem to do some dumb interlude like FTs first chapter did with that awkward moment where Lucy leaves Natsu and she’s just randomly in the park reading.

The King wants to use her ship to leave this world and we get som kind of motivation out of him.

Oh wow, for a first chapter villain that’s actually a really deep thing to unload. That as amusment park hosts they must’ve just been seen as pleasure tools and with no one around these robots who seem to be senstinent must’ve felt betrayed and...

Oooooor you cut out all moral ambiguity by just saying they have a virus. Sure. Trust me, this is where it gets stupid really stupid. And that’s the inconsistency.

So these robots I guess are like the ones from the Animatrix where they just kinda develop sentience out of nowhere. But unlike Animatrix it doesn’t seem to imply when they developed this sentience and that they began to think they were being abused.

Tired of Friendship already, it ain’t leaving.

So why do you hate humans? They abandoned you I guess, but there’s not other robot saying “hey our times were fun together” no everyone is like they left us to rot so we hate them. Not like Humans did anything legitimate bad. We actually see that at the end of the chapter that there is some sort of central battery on the park that all robots are hooked up to. You could make their reason for hating humans that. That even though they left these sentiment robots still had a little kingdom to themselves, but realized that its all just going to end one day and humans didn’t even bother to unplug them. They’re existence is literally knowing when they’ll die, imagine that as why they harbor negative emotions and maybe Shiki actually fixing things might’ve actually been prolonging their lives so maybe that be why they kept him around. This whole sentience things just feels like Hiro wanted to do a trope of crazy robots and ended using multiple to fit the whatever story purpose at the moment.

You do run the planet, dumbasses. This entire plane, apparently for hundreds of years, has been solely controlled by you. Maye this should be rephrased as, going to the place that built you to get revenge or as I spoiled with the battery we’ll take the ship to get more power for our kingdom?

Shiki doesn’t do anything and kinda lets the robots just wail on him as he found out all things in his life were a lie. Then Rebecca gives a friendship speech. A stupid stupid friendship speech.

You’re right, Rebecca! Too bad we didn’t see that. I’m serious we barely see memories of Shiki with any robot outside of the demon king and Michael so there’s no weight to this conflict. We only get the vague sense they raised hm, but there’s no moments of Shiki really laughingg and enjoying their company outside of the party with Rebecca which rather is made more for getting Shiki to like Rebecca for this moment.

Shiki remembers what his Grandpa the Demon King said and just blows them all away.

We see Shiki’s hand and apparently he has these marks indicating he has Ether gear. The power system of this series.

You’re sentiment! You have out grown your programming! You can choose to have a concept of friendship.

So they fight with shitty action scenes (If I can give Horikoshi a hard time for how he draws his fight choreography, then I sure as hell will give Hiro the once over.) Happy manages to save Rebecca and like Happy from early FT, he basically spots off exposition on powers.

So is it like a literal gear? Because Happy afterward destincties as the Gear of Gravity, so is it like a devil fruit? Is ether in all humans, but this specific gear brings it out in a certain way? If its internal then I guess its like the magic circuits from Fate? And then every of has their own unique variation like Nen? Like cause Happy gives it the distinction of Gravity it doesn’t seem like Shiki gives a reason why he has this power. I’m hoping \its like devil fruits, literal gears you implant and then it brings out your ether in a certain way.

Shiki punches out the machine king and cause a massive collapse.

Credit where credit is due, Hiro actually did build up the reveal of this power throughout the chapter and its actually really well done. Kinda reminds of something Oda would do with subtly building up a devil fruit power without revealing it. Like Crocodile drying out a flower but it isn’t stated his power is specifically sand.

They then flee when the other robots rally and Shiki takes Rebecca back to her ship.

This scene would actually be really nice if we actually saw more young shiki actually having fun with the machines and not a being a creeper with them.

Shiki and Rebecca take off and we see the universe.

Not gonna lie, that’s a really pretty shot. Like damn, I could get behind this.

It seems like worlds in this universe are basically like kingdom hearts worlds. They’re not real “worlds” so much as they are islands in space.

Sure, keep the mystery alive why don’t you, no that be too much.

Well great place to end the chapter. Little dry of a first story, but I definetly see that has room for improvment and there is something-Wait this isn’t the last page? But what else is there to talk about. There’s nothing left-

Oh for fuck sake. That’s right they were trying to send SHiki away. Because apparently these robots thought there was no way to restore battery life even if stayed.

Here’s a tip, ifyou really care, and had such a close bond, maybe tell him to leave? Tell SHiki the truth that you guys are tied to a battery and instead of Shiki vowing to leave for the stars so he can make 100 friends (I’m not kiding that’s his actual goal here). Then this would be an interesting goal.

But no, you have to act like human hating jackasses and shatter the boy’s entire reality, just so you he would go out and “change the universe”

This would be a really nice scene with a very nice amount of character development starting point, if we actually saw their past. All we know is they raised Shiki, but its never really seemed like they’re loving or caring or Shiki openly gets upset if one of them had a problem. Again the biggest flaw with this chapter is that it sacrifices seeing one potentially interesting relationship (Shiki and the robots) for another one (Rebecca).

So we end on this page which reveals that Shiki’s goal is to have a hundred friends. Not going to say something snarky I just realized this is the same motivation as Yuki from future diary. Like before the crazy yandere shit.

Post Chapter follow up:

Lets be positive and look at the good stuff in this chapter. The first thing great about this chapter is it improved upon two of the biggest failings in the first chapter FT. Goals established and world building. Not only does this set up force Hiro Mashima to actually world build (literally) but each person in the first chapter has a goal that doesn’t seem like it can be accomplished quickly. It means we can have investment in the story.

Another thing I’ll give is Shiki is an okay MC. He has more personality than Natsu, but not as much as Haru and this first chapter is about him. Its easy to understand that Lucy is often considered the MC of FT because it literally focuses on her for the story than Natsu. But this chapter had a healthy balance.

Also the power system at least seems to have some definition. Unlike how anyone could have magic yet normal people just don’t choose to use it like in FT. Ether Gear seems to be a powersource that only a select few can use. Now we need to see first if there are ways of combating it like technology or such so a non ether gear person can still fight.

It also has its own unique aesthetic. Ft is a pretty generic fantasy world. It doesn’t have the bleakness of bereserk or the Japanese aesthetic of naruto. You could say Black CLover, Fairy Tail, and Seven Deadly sins all had their first chapter happen in the same world and I’d have trouble arguing it.

Now on to the crappy stuff. This series suffers from the usual Mashima foibles such as the sexual harassment, the stupidly way it tries to justify and give all conflict happy ending, not actually bothering to have a situation drawn out ad built up too, etc. I mean for the first conflict of the chapter its a heavy one, these guys raised SHiki yet their own mentality is against humans so Shiki has to choose, but instead of actually answering that question, it turns out there was no real conflict and the machines were just faking.

As for my like for Shiki, I flat hate Rebecca. She is so pointless and useless. Look I will defend Lucy and she actually can d things. First chapter she saved Natsu by using aquarius. But Rebecca? She’s just all of the bad traits of post timeskip Lucy. She is used for pointless fanservice, does nothing contribute, and becomes a mouth piece for friendship.

Speaking of friendship as a concept and goal here, Hiro just rewrite what you mean. Have deeper meaning than friends for once. There is ways you could take the motivation “I want to make 100 friends” in a compelling way. Prehaps Shiki is going out to make his own world where he can make a happy place for people where they can laugh and cry in harmony. Like story telling wise its pretty weak.

Like me personally, I would’ve taken the first chapter like this, the robots are sentinet and they are nice to Shiki and Rebecca and they have genuine fun together. They gradually reveal that they are shutting down maybe one starts acting wonky and tries to hide it and maybe the machine king is the real bad guy. He has sentinece and hates humans and he wants to eliminate SHiki and Rebecca and that’s because they’re shutting down. The other robots say they don’t care they were abandoned, they were mad at first but Shiki showed them that why they loved catering to humans. King and Shiki fight and they all reveal they’re shutting down and Shiki cries he doesn’t want them to go. The robots say its inevitable and they don’t hpw to recharge the battery and Shiki vows to leave the planet and search for a power source to bring them all back. Then that’s shiki’s goal and it even can cause questions like “Is it worth all this for machines?” or “who designed them maybe we can figure out the right substance to power them up?”

or if Hiro wanted to go a more darker route. Have the machines have no sentience and literally be dolls for the King who turns out to be a human who stayed here on Granbell and made his own little kingdom. Make it a bit meta on how Shiki’s only friends were just hollow imitations of people who were only friends because that’s what their programming dictated and they can all be switched off. It be meta as critiquing Ft and how all the guild characters basically had no conflicts, all got along, and were just friends with no depth or reason.

This all highlights the issue with Hiro Mashima and that’s he is not a good a writer. Hiro is an incredibly talented person and can come up with incredibly unique ideas and looks, which is why his cover pages are the best things he puts out because its him free forming. But writing. He has a limited scope on that and stuff like sci-fi and fantasy can be very morally grey things. But Hiro doesn’t seem to understand tragedy in the sense that its tragic because a person fails or dies unsatisfied. But he only seems to know how to write painfully obvious concepts like “save the world” or “friendship” instead doing a concept like “what it is to be a hero” like MHA does which can have a variety of answers to it.

So what’s the final verdict? Well I actually am going to do something different than usual. I’m going to say what I though the quality was compared to FT and then to what I’d consider this work compared to anything else.

In comparison to FT, Eden’s Zero gets a Final verdict of 8/10

Improves on a lot of FT’s first chapter flaws

Created a more unique environment for a story

And actually has a lot tighter narrative

But in comparison to everything else...

Final Verdict: 5/10

Even if it wasn’t Hiro, its a pretty generic start (some names aren’t even all that inspired like Machine King, Demon King)

Potential to grow into something better is there

Nothing is outright offensive

Cool concept

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aspia-leif · 6 years

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Because I'm completely unoriginal, I'm gonna ask you the same questions you asked me XD Lunar mist, bird of paradise, marmalade skies, lavender dream, heliotrope, creams and sky, tulip, angel's face, caramel kisses, queen anne's lace, sunflower, lilly and finally blazing star.

Really?! Damn. Alright… soooooooo

Lunar mist: Do you like wearing other people’s shirts/jacket?Well… I would like to… But I am fatter than my friends and my last gf so… However, I share some clothes with my mom 🤔

Bird of paradise: What was the best thing that happened to you this month?Hard to say… I’ve had a bad month… I think the best thing was that even if was really depressed, I didnt need to go to the hospital again. I survive by myself.

Marmalade skies: Do you plan your outfits?Absolutely not. Not even for parties like christmas and everything… doesnt mean I dont dress well enough in those occasions… just, I dont plan them until I have to get dressed.

Lavender dream: turn ons/offs? -> Ons: respect, humor, sweetness, when someone cares about me, when someone plays with my hair, respect (yes twice), not a lot of makeup (for both man and woman) and some originality. -> Offs: Bad smell, being mean, being shallow, being bigot/intolerant, poor hygiene.

Heliotrope: Have you ever been in a castle?Yes, but I was too young to really remember… maybe being exposed at ghosts so soon in my life explain why I can feel/see/comunicate with them 🤔

Creams and sky: Whats the craziest/bravest thing you’ve done?I’ve done 2. When I was 9, I’ve dance with a snake around my neck, a female boaconstrictor… really big! And when I was 14, I’ve hold a baby lion in my arms for several minutes. Best memories ever.

Tulip: name 5 facts about yourself.1) I have 3 piercings around my mouth2) I am 5 foots 7 tall (170cm)3) I have a huge library in my bedroom and 2 others in my living room4) I am an asperger asexual lesbian5) I am obssessed by cats

Angel’s face: What was your favorite bedtime story as a child?My mom never read for me… I learn to read at 3 years old so… I used to read Mr Men (Monsieur Madame in french) before falling asleep… and I was in love with Ariel (not the character, but the idea of becoming a mermaid) so I used to read it a lot too.

Caramel kisses: Would you want to live forever? Why/Why not?Hard question… a part of me would to live forever! To see everything, to travel the world, to see the evolution… But a part of me wouldnt… being alive forever? Alone? In marge of the society by default? Idk… seems… sad. Tempting but sad

Queen anne’s lace: Who do you trust the most?No one. Not even myself.

Sunflower: Share a favorite quote.Oh boi. I have so many!! 🤔🤔🤔 here is my top ten (and only from one fandom):1) I dont care! I dont care! Giles! I’m only sixteen years old… I dont wanna die… -Buffy Summers, who just learn that a prophecy predict her death in 2 days. 2) Passion…it lies in all of us. Sleeping. Waiting. And though unwanted, unbidden…It will stir…Open its jaws and howl. It speaks to us, guides us. Passion rules us all and we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. The joy of love…the clarity of hatred…and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we’d know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms: shuttered and dank. Without passion…we’d be truly dead. -Angelus, after killing the soulmate of Giles, Buffy’s protector.3) I don’t understand. I don’t understand how this all happens. How we go through this. I mean, I knew her, and then she’s… there’s just a body! And I don’t understand why she can’t just get back in it and not be dead any more. It’s stupid. It’s mortal and stupid, and, and Xander’s crying and not talking, and I was having fruit punch and I thought, well, Joyce will never have any more fruit punch, ever. And she’ll never have eggs, or yawn, or brush her hair, not ever and no one will explain to me why! -Anya after Joyce’s death, Buffy’s mom.4) Dawn, listen to me, listen. I love you. I will always love you. But this is the work that I have to do. Tell Giles…tell Giles I figured it out. And, and I’m okay. And give my love to my friends. You have to take care of them now. You have to take care of each other. You have to be strong. Dawn, the hardest thing in this world… is to live in it. Be brave. Live…for me. -Buffy Summers, sacrifing her life for her sister.5) Tara: Things fall apart. They fall apart so hard.Willow: Tara?Tara: You can’t ever put ‘em back the way they were.Willow: Are you okay?Tara: I’m sorry, it’s just…You know, it takes time. You can’t just have coffee and expect…Willow: I know.Tara: There’s just so much to work through. Trust has to be built again on both sides. You have to learn if… if we’re even the same people we were. If you can fit in each others lives. It’s a long and important process, and can we just skip it? C-Can you just be kissing me now? -Tara Maclay, after a coffee with her ex Willow, 2 days before her death.6) The first day of kindergarten, you cried because you broke the yellow crayon and you were too afraid to tell anyone. You’ve come pretty far. Ending the world — not a terrific notion…But the thing is…yeah, I love you. I love crayon-breaky Willow and I love scary, veiny Willow. So if I’m goin’ out, it’s here. If you wanna kill the world, well, then start with me. I’ve earned that. -Xander Harris, to Willow, after the death of Tara.7) Why does a man do what he mustn’t? For her. To be hers. To be the kind of man who would nev— To be a kind of man. And she shall look on him with forgiveness and everybody will forgive and love…and he will be loved. So everything’s okay, right? Can we rest now? Buffy, can we rest? -Spike, after getting his soul back by love. 8) They’ll never know how tough it is, Dawnie. To be the one who isn’t chosen. To live so near to the spotlight and never step in it. But I know. I see more than anybody realizes because nobody’s watching me. I saw you last night. I see you working here today. You’re not special. You’re extraordinary. -Xander Harris, after Dawn realise that she wasnt a slayer like her sister.9) So here’s the part where you make a choice: What if you could have that power…now? In every generation, one slayer is born…because a bunch of men who died thousands of years ago made up that rule. They were powerful men. This woman is more powerful than all of them combined. So I say we change the rule. I say my power…should be our power. Tomorrow, Willow will use the essence of the scythe to change our destiny. From now on, every girl in the world who might be a slayer…will be a slayer. Every girl who could have the power…will have the power…can stand up, will stand up. …every one of us. Make your choice. Are you ready to be strong? -Buffy Summers, who chooses to give to women the power than the men stole from them centuries ago.10) I’ve been alive a bit longer than you, and dead a lot longer than that. I’ve seen things you couldn’t imagine, and done things I’d prefer you didn’t. I don’t exactly have a reputation for being a thinker. I follow my blood, which doesn’t exactly rush in the direction of my brain. So I make a lot of mistakes. A lot of wrong bloody calls. A hundred plus years, and there’s only one thing I’ve ever been sure of. You. Look at me. I’m not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it’s not because I want you, or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try…I’ve seen your kindness, and your strength, I’ve seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You’re a hell of a woman. You’re the one, Buffy. -Spike, after Buffy was betrayed by her friends.

Lilly: What’s something you love watching/reading but you are too embarrassed to admit you do?Oh boi. Do I have to?? 😖😖 I love vampire diaries (tv shows and books). Its so bad its good!

Blazing star: share a secret.🤔🤔🤔🤔 a secret…. hmmm… do I have one?! 🤔🤔🤔 My IQ is 135/100 (100 is the average) but I am clearly stupid 😆😅

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robotsandromance-blog · 7 years

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This is a sort of sequal to that anon Bee/Spike drabble I sent you. This one has some Rumble/Spike/Frenzy as well, even if Spike dosent know who’s who. The content i of slight dubious content, but nothing beyond sexual. I might have included an unnamed unimportant OC, but its just an unnamed younger sibling of Spike. I hope you enjoy it, despite the grammar mistakes. ______________

His dad had noted the almost dopey smile on Spike face, as the boy entered the front door after saying goodbye to the yellow minibot. He almost didn’t react to his youngest sibling waving their hand infront of his face durning dinnertime. With a nervous chuckle he had excused himself, and helped to clean off the table with a slight spring to his step. His father only smiled knowingly, amused about his sons obivious lovesick display. The boys head hit the pillow with a soft tud, a deep content sigh leaving him once he was in his bedroom. Closing his eyes Spike grinned cheekly as he remembered the exciting kiss both he and Bee had shared. Rolling over to the side his hand clasped over the space where his heart would be. The ripples of intense love and devotion had waved through him and back as Bee had pulled him closer, the closeness something more intimitate than anything he had heard of. The contents in those magazines Butch had kept under his bed were medicore, cheap almost compared to what both he and Bee had shared. “I miss you already Bee…” he mumbled to himself sleeply, remembering the minibots knowing but shy smile as he had said goodnight. The hand on his chest grasped into his chest, his cheeks dusted pink as his eyelids fluttered before he almost dozed off… …almost, because he suddently noticed a pair of unfamiliar purple and black cassettes innocently laying on his nightdesk. For a moment he just laid there staring at them. ‘Those arent mine… Busters perhaps?’ A part of him denied that thought. His younger brother was far less absentminded to leave his own stuff laying around. Sitting up slowly he stared at them with a drowsy gaze; his head tilting to the side in a sleepy manner he wasnt aware of doing. He was about to just leave it be before the mental image of a certain pair of decepticon twins made him sober up more from his drowsiness. Reaching out to them suspiciously, he jumped back as the two cassettes changed into those very twins he dreaded it would be. But before he could scramble off the bed, the red and black one straddled him. Both he and his purple painted brother shared a michevious look, before the one currently between his legs pinched Spikes cheek. “Youre right bro, he does kind of look cute.” His hand cupped his cheek, the casetticons thumb brushing against his quivering lips. “Damn! They are soft to touch as well…” He They started to snicker mockingly and licked their lips, only to protest annoyed when Spike slapped his tormenters hand away. “Get out of my house decepticreeps!” His strained demands only gained a laugh from the both of them, before the purple one(he never knew which was which, it always changed for some reason) cupped his mouth. “Shut it fleshie! We have decided we wanted to do what you and that wimpy Autobot did outside.” The twin straddling him leaned down to hold him in his arms before rolling to the side, ignoring Spikes muffled protests as the other twin pushed himself up against his back. At the humans thrashing the one behind him hissed in his ear. “Ravage is already downstairs, just waiting to tear your guardian to shreds.” At the way the boys eyes widened the one infront of him leaned forward to whisper along. “But if you play along, he might just take a nap instead.” “So what do you say fleshie? Wanna play?” Their chorus of voices carried a mocking but eager tone, the hand of the one behind him slipping forward to rest on his stomach. Lower and he might have paniced even more. But the thought of his family potentionally being harmed or worse by the mech downstairs wagered the guilt in him. What he and Bee shared was special, laced in a trust he didn’t want to break. With an quiver in his voice, he stuttered. “W-what if we did something else? I’m kind of tired from-” But at the annoyed groans of the twins, he acted quickly with widened eyes. Leaping forward he liplocked the red and black minicon infront of him, the exciting yell of the one behind of (“man hes eager!”) falling on deaf ears as he tried to leave as little space between him and the mech infront of him. He whimpered as he felt teeth on the back of his neck, the hand on his stomach traveling up to where his heart was. “Mhh-w-wait! I’m too tired for that right no-” The twin infront of him silenced him by shoving his tounge deep into his mouth, giving the twin behind him the oppertunity to lift Spikes t-shirt. He jumped slightly by the cold sensation of the mechs hand running up and down his bare chest with a flat hand, the sound of its owner making a curious hiss by his ear. “Its beating so hard… Primus you’re cute for a fleshie.” The hand trailed downwards, and chassis of the twin currently kissing him glowed a bright orange from the seams. Spike only shook, not knowing if he wanted it to stop or not. He didnt want to betray the trust of Bumblebee, but he wanted his family to be safe. Something in him started to convey feelings he himself wasnt projecting. Concerned, alarmed, protective. A nip on his neck brought him back from his thoughts. Leaning to hesitantly press his chest against the groaning con, he let out a slight moa- The door opened with a soft creak, causing all three to pause. “Spike, I cant find philly.” His eyes widened by the tired voice of his eight year old babysister. Turning around to look over the decepticon, he saw her tiny tired form still in her overalls. Rubbing her eyes she still hadn’t noticed the scene in front of him. Hearing the annoyed growl from his intruders he wriggled himself into a seating position. “Just leave her be okay?? She’s-” “WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?” The startled yell of his little brother along with a mechanical hiss made him throw himself off the bed and straight to his baby sister. Picking up the confused girl he held her close as he backed out of his room, a defiant glare directed towards the terrible two. “Call him off, decepticreep! Im not doing anything if he hurts my family!” The two of them snorted before leaping off the bed. Advancing towards the boy and the now whimpering girl in his arms, they smiled mockingly. “You seemed eager just a moment ago? Whats the big idea??” “Yeah! You had no problem doing this to that doofus! And we are ten times more cooler than that wet blanket!” They paused to give the tiny form in his arms a disgruntled look before one of them reached over to give her a harsh poke. The girl squealed in pain causing Spike to turn his back on the two decepticons. “Don’t touch her!” One of them gave off an annoyed groan. “This is so stupid! It would have been so much easier if-” “If what???” All three of them froze. Turning around slowly the two minicons saw none other than Bumblebee at the window. His usual merry expression was contorted into a feral glare, optics glowing a bright white to indicate just how furious he was. A part of Spike almost felt like he could feel what Bee was thinking. Concerned, furious, MINE. The intensity of it blinded him for a moment, only to break out of it when one of the twins grabbed him by the collar. Giving him a wide smirk the minicon leaned forward to give him a swift kiss. The human’s eyes widened before shoving the con off him, arms still securely holding the girl. He only gained a laugh from the terrible two and a chorus off. “See you around cutie!” They began to rush to the window, transforming in mid-air to be caught by lazerbeak who mysteriously flew past his window. Downstairs he could hear Ravage toppling over his father before probably leaping out through an open window, the distant transformation noises and squack indicating that the bird had picked him up as well. Spike leaned against the doorframe, the shock of it all finally dawning on him. His sister wiggled from his arms to rush downstairs to their dad, leaving him to stare with slight guilt at the yellow minibot. Walking towards the window, he opened it up more to be lifted into his best friends arms. He burrowed into the warm embrace, before speaking with a mumble. “I-I’m sorry. They took me by surprise and Ravage was downstairs. I didn’t know-” “It’s allright Spike. I already knew.” He stiffened. Lifting his head he stared both shocked and confused at the minibot. “Wait…How??” Bumblebee only nuzzled him in response, his hold becoming more firmer. “We share a bond now Spike. I felt your distress because of the spark merge earlier.” Spike didn’t know how to wrap his head around that reasoning. But something of it… “I felt it too… I-I just didnt know what it was though” A part of him wanted to giggle at the slight mechanical purr he got from Bee as a response. Reaching up he cupped the faceplate of the yellow bot. “I love you Bee.” From that he got an eager but soft kiss, which he responded back with gladly.

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! IM SO FUCKING HAPPY RIGHT NOW!!! I DONT KNOW HOW TO THANK YOU THIS IS SO WONDERFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AKLDJFKLSJF

#submission #transformers #maccadam #transformers g1 #dubious content //#spike(g1)#bumblebee #frenzy #rumble

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survivor-kuwait · 5 years

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Episode 2 - “The pair thing doesn’t leave much room for dRaMa and I want DrAmA” - Madison

Ok, so I'm going to recap everything I experienced during this scramble as there is a lot to cover. Willow and I lost the tik tok challenge by 2 points which sucks so we have to go to the warzone now. The warzone is kinda cool. I get to talk to more than just willow which is cool. Everyone seems to like each other and for the longest time no one had a name. Sadly, Brandon shot himself in the foot and was voted out by everyone because he never spoke a word to anyone. I kinda feel bad for the guy but you know, atleast Brandon has 100% voting accuracy. That's kinda hard especially in survivor. I also forgot to mention that I have hit 2 spaces on the Battleship grid so hopefully I get an idol or advantage soon!

youtube

Tribal went accordingg to plan;BDC went in a 12-0 vote 😧 I hate first tribal nerves. But its over and Im good. I think i made good connections with people. Made stronger connection with Madison. We both love Dumbo 🐘. I got to talk more with Stephen and Matt so i think those are bonds i could use later on in the game or if I find myself in the warzone with them again. Cullan and Ian were pretty good and nice people. I got along with Ian a lot. Willow was a nice person, we just didnt get to talk a lot today cuz she had 2 finals today. I didnt get to talk with jacob or doodle. (But i already had Jacob as a friend so he is someone who i played with before but dont remember. Oop 🤭) overall iI think warzone this round was a positive thing.

i'm shook that we were safe from the tik tok immunity. i'm even more shook that we got second????????? in it. like what??? i literally was editing the video with like 4 (four) minutes to spare because my idiot ass partner decided last second to tell me that he wasn't able to edit it and tik tok wasn't loading on his phone. like? when were you planning on telling me this information..... anyways we won, so i guess i can't be too upset with him. warzone thing is dumb, unfortunately i was a part of another season monty hosted that has this twist and got screwed over by it hardcore, so shrug. i'm assuming the same thing will happen this time around because of how new all of these people are. i know barely any of them and i'm just gonna assume for the most part they know each other or are at least aware of each other whereas i'm like i know owen and stevie??? it's just one massive eyeroll. gonna just try to focus on not going to tribal though. if we did i would have zero issues voting tommy out. he's zzzzzzzzzzzz. first night of the game i like offered to call while we figure out who to vote, tried to get to know him, etc. he gave minimum effort, didn't want to call, didn't ask me anything about me or make any attempt to get to know me. so i have zero attachment to him which sucks because i feel like for the most part people are going to stick with their assigned sign partner. idk if it's just because he hasn't played a game outside of fb before and they all suck or what but girrrrrl he needs to step it up. i've been working on this puzzle for a minute. for a while i couldn't beat like 2:20~ but randomly got 1:43 and am gonna hope that that's a competitive score, at least good enough to keep us out of the bottom. tommy sucks and can hardly break 2 minutes after being very up front that WE ARE WINNING THIS. i told him i think my score is easily attainable so that he'd try more LMAO because i really don't wanna lose this early. i think my outlook on the game would be so much different had i not gotten stuck with a stale ass plank of wood for a partner.

I really hope Renne and I could atleast be in the top 6 and be immune. But being in in the top three would be cool only because we would see guardians of the galaxy. I got 2:27 and Renee around 2:46 i believe so we should be okay unless these people are monsters at puzzles.

Look I was going to try to do video confessions every time for this game but sometimes you look so bad the Face ID on your laptop doesn't even recognize you as yourself...and that's literally me right now. So text it is! Hey! I'm having a gr8 time. Such a fun game! To recap last round, I had SUCH a good TikTok plan and then Jacob and I are illiterate and didn't realize when the videos were due, so we lost. BUT I think that was a blessing, because we got to talk to people outside of our sign pair, which was really beneficial. At least for me it was. Talking to Renee, Ian, and Maynor was great, and I think I'd be down to work with any of them later on. Stephen potentially too, but he still scares me. Too much history lmao. Tribal was the easiest ever but I can already tell this is gonna be like Mongolia and Hogsmeade where NO ONE talks about the vote until the hour before, which is exciting, but also very stressful. I'm ready to be in a chat with more people in it though. The pair thing doesn't leave much room for dRaMa and I want DrAmA.

We F*CKEN tied!! I just saw the scores and we only got 6th because I got a faster individual time than the 2 Tauros. I’m so happy that me and Renee could take a breather even if it is for one day. I really like Renee and I’d be down to work with her all the way to the end. Hopefully she feels the same way cuz we could be dangerous together.

Ya boy just found the fucking Topaz Idol, suck it bitches! This is the first idol I have legitimately found, I get nervous about having advantages though, I don't want to waste them which has lead me to be voted of with an advantage in my pocket before. I can use this idol to turn votes against me into votes for whoever I want which is beautiful, I hope to genuinely fuck somebody's day up with this! However, if I've found one already, you can bet your ass somebody else has found something as well. Let's see whose dick is bigger, whoever you are.

So far this game has been interesting. When it started I was SHOOK by the 12 tribes of 2. Definitely thought it was going to be interesting and potentially scary navigating how people get voted out. Then the first round was voting off a team right in the beginning just based on who is on it pretty much. When that team ended up being Nehe and Chips I was PUMPED because from a previous game Nehe and I did not leave things on the best of terms. Then one of them gets to come back. And it's Nehe. Great. I did not want to let that bother me much so I figured I would worry more about it when the time came to worry about it. Then the next immunity challenge happened and i truly did not think Owen and i would do so well because I am not normally good at these things and i am shook that we won. Owen's editing ideas were what saved us I think. So not only were we safe for that round, we also get to go to the oasis! And who else but Nehe is there too. I was initially dreading it because I wasn't sure how the conversation was going to go. When we did end up talking he said that he has calmed down, matured a bit, and wants to put things behind us and move forward. I still am not sure if I believe it or not, or at least to what extent I believe it. There is always going to be the thought that he could be playing me due to our history. It's hard not to bring things from the past and carry them in the present and let it effect relationships with people. Seeing Kait in this game I was initially a little worried because I don't know what that working relationship is like. I haven't played a game with Kait in a long time but I do not know where we stand as far as working together. It will be hard to navigate but the reunion was nice to have. Another thing that is worrying me is Owen. Right now we are working well together in the challenges, I haven't had any problems with Owen in the past that I can remember, and we generally respect each other's existence I think? Idk I am just not sure what the relationship is between us two. We also don't really talk much being on this tribe together and I don't know if that's because we are kinda solid and we don't need to do the initial meeting each other and talking to build a relationship, or if because we are both content with how things are running and waiting for circumstances to change to actually start playing the game. It is hard with these teams of 2 as tribes trying to navigate how to play. With that being said, i also am unsure about what I should be doing in the oasis. I have been chatting lightly with people but I think it is too early to be strategizing with them. I don't want to play too hard and there is the possibility of not going to tribal council with these people for a while so the connections might not be worth my while to make. I am just unsure if I am being left in the dark about strategy this early on, or if I am getting paranoid over nothing because it is still a bit too early in the game for people to strategize with this game structure. Time will tell and I hope Owen and I keep winning while the game is still like this

I am voting for Matt today. All of my decisions are arbitrary until this twist ends because nothing really has weight yet at all. Also, I feel like I can definitely trust the people who voted last time because there is little incentive to betray because the voting pool is so volatile. I expect relatively straightforward votes until we actually start playing Survivor. Ready for the casting portion to end.

I’m feeling pretty good currently! Being like just safe in the middle is exactly where I wanted to be in this game, although it js a little awkward not really being able to strategize right now. I feel like I’m really good with Adrian though and in a place that we can move forward as a pair. I really just wanna make sure I make the merge or til a swap or something because I’m really ready to do well in this game. But I wouldn’t trade safety in this game for anything at this point.

Hey! So, we lost the challenge again which sucks. Willow isn’t the greatest at jigsaw puzzles, but that is ok. Is losing a bunch is making us less of a threat and giving us more social connections with the rest of the game. I got the legacy advantage last night which is awesome. No one knows I have it and I’m not going to tell a damn soul about it. I heard Matt’s name thrown out so I’m going to see if that’s what everyone’s down to do. Everyone seems to like me which is great so hopefully my charm keeps me around for a while. Me not showing excellent challenge performance is also a bonus. I’m getting weird vibes from Nehe. He talks a lot which is why I tried voting him out the first time. He’s too fucking like able so I know he’ll be tough to get rid of. People need to learn to take their hearts out of the game eventually and learn to vote someone out even if they love having the person around. The longer he lives, the harder he will be to kill.

It has been good not having to stress over tribal today. I just hope that Matt B isnt going or anyone else that I talked to in the last warzone cuz they were cool and would like to have the possibility of working with them later on in the game. Update on idol search. I guess M4 and it was a hit and ive been trying to going around it but so far it has been 2 misses so far. I have M3 and N4 left so i hope that tonights guess at 10:05pm is a hit because this is the closest Ive been to finding something in these searches. I hope its something good for my game. I just hope no one has found this ship yet.

Well, another day another dollar I guess. I was really nervous that Timmy and I weren't going to do well in the puzzle challenge because puzzles aren't my strongest challenges, but we were able to pull it out once again and save ourselves. I am starting to get a little nervous about consistently getting 4th or 5th because we are still some of the only players in the game who have not talked to anyone but ourselves. Hopefully we are still early enough in the game that we can make connections with people down the line, but the more time I waste just sitting around the more nervous it makes me. I would never throw a challenge because lord knows that I love having immunity, but if we don't place in the top 3 for the next challenge we're gonna have to figure something out. Timmy is great but you can't win this game just by having one friend and one friend only.

So I had thought that the people from last round would stick together, but apparently some people are voting for Matt? I dont mind much, I’m taking a Sandra-esque “I’m happy to vote whoever as long as it aint me approach.” Might stop me over strategising

- - - - -

All that stuff about being Sandra this season? forget it. I’m back on my bullshit. Nehe wants an alliance with me, doodle, corey, and devon. But apart from Nehe I have barely talked to any of those guys. So im gonna try and make a counter alliance of Me Matt Ian Chloe Willow and maybe Cullan? If I tell them whats going on they might join me and vote out Nehe, or maybe doodles the better play?

- - - - -

Nevermind the nevermind all these people are like “Oh? A counter alliance to protect myself from an alliance without me? Nah i’m good, getting voted out is fun!” So screw them Im voting matt, see ya suckers.

Hello Did I mention last time that I’m ready for this weird twist to be over and for us to be normal tribes? Either way it felt nice to win and I’m glad I don’t have to go back to that warzone, but at the same time, I worry if we stay out of it too long we won’t have made any allies or friends through a tribal and that could be dangerous moving forward to a swap, maybe if we stay as signs for much longer I’ll mention that to maynor and see how he feels about throwing one hm

Top six is great top three is better but like....I have a feeling it’s the wrong six to be in rn. Those bottom six get to talk and strategize. None of that happens here in the oasis zzzzz I was thankful to get to talk to Kait twice that part was rlly good. Nehe and I had a little bit of a talk. Thomas is SO BORING ATO TALK TO tho hsjshdjd I was excited to meet someone new but omfg. He was like ‘I study math’ and I was like ‘omg I could never’ and he was like ‘well I can !’ PLS LOL So I’m kind of dying here but maybe it’s better to be safe. I’m just scared the game is moving without me. Idk I guess it’s early for that.

I think I forgot to write a confessional this round so far so...WHY DO WE ALWAYS GET 4th!! I know it’s only been 2 challenges but still. I usually hate social games but I’m dying to talk to at least someone who isn’t trace. Don’t get me wrong, he’s great, but this game is so boring so far just because I can’t talk to anyone. That’s really going to screw me over in the long run. At least if you fuck up in challenges you get to talk to people. It’ll make it easier for me to get voted off since I’ll have no connections so I’ll need to work my ass off if that time comes. Fuck.

fuck these bitches. to start off, i lost immunity by less than 2 seconds which SUCKS. thought i had a decent time but i guess not Back in the warzone, theres a few people i was here with last time, including Ian, Stephen and Cullan which is nice. Willow and Chloe are back too, but we didnt speak last time so i made sure we spoke more frequently this time. Basically a group of Devon, Taylor, Corey and Nehe. Stephen W let me know this was going on and he didnt want it to happen. So i started putting forth effort into targeting taylor, but then it made more sense to go for nehe because he is also the other solo in this game. Now on PAPER it would make sense for me and Nehe to work together and have each other's back but clearly he doesnt care lol. So i focused my attention to the people that seem like they really do wanna keep me (Stephen, Ian, Cullan, Willow, and Chloe). I made my rounds, multiple rounds tbh and tried to make my best sales pitch to them. Stephen, Cullan, Ian seem all 100 with me and im like 60% sure willow wants to keep me, but her responses are so delayed that i cant really get a good read. Chloe is the biggest question mark for me just because its late for her and shes starting another org and has assignments to work on. I want to believe that she would keep me because i expressed a lot of interest in working with her in this game. As of now its 9:40pm which means 20 mins till my fate is determined. I would like to think the 6 person group i got together can stick with me and keep me in the game, but i really dont know anymore. I wouldnt be shocked if i left 9-1 tbh. these people dont wanna play the game this early or work with me when i can easily be an extra number for any pair in this game. I hope to god i stay because its been such a different experience and a new world for orgs, and i wanna stay and fight. so fingers crossed i guess

It is 10 minutes to tribal and im nervous to see what happens. This 2 person tribe twist is really weird. I want to more people. I just hope is someone i havent really talked to. Hopefully the next challenge is something that me and Renee can be good at.

Okay so we formed an alliance named The Pact which is basically a temporary alliance for warzone where the trick is to throw immunity, go there together, and get someone who isn't us, outta the game. It was created by Nehe and involves him, taylor, stephen, devon and I. Am I honestly going to THROW IMMUNITY? idk. I don't trust taylor whole heartedly But I would like to work w him for some time. I have had info coming back to me making it seem as though he genuinely likes me so! kfnskdlgdslk anyways. Tonight, the vote is matt. I am terrified if it isn't. xoxo, gossip girl.

Behind the scenes of the vote last round that sent Matt packing, I was informed by Stephen that Doodle(Taylor) has been making alliances all over town. That lets me know he is not a long term pro Ian player, conversely Stephen has won a lot of my favor. I took that knowledge to Willow, as someone else that is supposed to be "working with" Doodle ka boodle I felt that she needed to be "generally aware". I wish I would have also shared with Devon that knowledge but I didn't. Doodle can think he is running the Warzone, I'll be quietly letting people know exactly what he is. A fake. A fraud. A man building himself up to be burnt and burnt bad. I knew what he was from the moment he pm'd me with "omg lets be long term allies I hate tiktok too", buddy you can do the heavy lifting for now, I'll vote you out the second you stop playing in MY interest. The trap I think so many TS players fall into is that they begin to think they're playing a single player game, you're not the only one with friends.

#survivorstarzone #episodes

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tumblunni · 7 years

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OH MAN GEEZ IM FUCKIN EMOTIONAL ALREADY black butler: book of circus spoilers below:

oh god, the ways they expanded the story for the anime are SO FUCKIN SAD I kinda like that they made it so you actually do see the circus crew kidnapping children this time. I mean, I dont think its made to make them any less sympathetic, but it definately reminds you that the playing field is even here and they’re morally complicated rather than just poor innocent victims of mr evil protagonist. Also its REALLY GORY and REALLY PSYCHOLOGICAL HORROR

Its so messed up, seriously These poor kids are being sent to kidnap other kids, by a creepy asshole murder pedophile fuck. And they dont know WHY theyre kidnapping kids, they don’t know what happens to the ones they hand over. And they’re all JUST FUCKING KIDS, they’re fucking children who’re all heavily disabled in different ways and LITERALLY owe their life to this horrible villain man. And they dont know why they were saved and why these other kids are.. going.. somewhere else. And they really dont know whether to trust their ‘father’, but its pretty clear they all have their suspicions that the kidnapped kids might be dying. But they dont have anywhere else to go if they disobey their father, and he’s fucking with their heads so they all feel like they’re the only onw with doubts and they cant even question it or everyone will turn on them and they’ll get kicked out on the street again and never see any of their siblings. And they all VERY MUCH know what its like to be dying on the streets. And this time they’d had a chance to know what its like to have prosthetic limbs and medical help and be able to eat three solid meals a day and wear pretty clothes and have a family. Having all that taken away will hurt even more than if they’d never known what it’s like..

So I sympathise with them, I really do. And I really believe they could have been rescued, and could have been redeemed, and ultimately we shouldnt be blaming them for what they did, only blaming the man who forced them into it and gave enough illusion of choice that they were able to feel guilt about it... BUT STILL that was REALLY FUCKED UP AND DISTURBING AND SAD AND DISTURBING AND SAD

seriously they PUT ON A FINAL CIRCUS SHOW for every single kid they kidnap part of it is about luring them in so they trust them, but also it seems they take it way too far for it to just be that. They almost got caught because they spent so much time doing their performance for this poor lil matchstick seller girl! and its equal parts heartwarming and DISGUSTING because this poor kid is like.. I dont even know if they drug their victims or if she was just going insane from having to see them killing the policeman that tried to save her they’re just horribly gorily fighting the policemen, stabbing a fucking knife through some guy’s eye, and the kid is sitting there having a complete mental collapse, laughing as if this is all part of the show. And we get this twisted vision of her point of view, seeing the nice clown man doing a funny show smacking mr teddy bear with a mallet, as the dead body of the policeman falls at her feet. And then they bundle her into the carriage and thats just the end. We dont find out what happens to the kidnapped kids, any more than the kidnappers know... We just got to learn so much about this poor kid, and that poor policeman, and have a bunch of heartwarming moments of them becoming friends, and then she just turns the corner for like five minutes and the policeman is like ‘wtf is that flute music’ then sees a fuckin ENTIRE CIRCUS IN AN ALLEYWAY and gets stabbed through the goddamn eye trying to reach the kid in time. And she’s so out of it that she couldnt even see him. His last thoughts were probably seeing her glassy eyes staring right through him... And we know that he had a daughter that this street urchin reminded him of, and we know she had a sick little brother who really needed the money the policeman gave her, and an abusive mother that’ll probably be forcing that poor brother to go out panhandling now her daughter is gone.. And just... GAHH my fucking emotions my sadness and also A LOT OF FEAR so much blood

and I KNOW HOW IT ENDS i know that the kids don’t fuckin go to a happy place with a nice new dad and ‘father’ only spared those few kids so they could be pawns he could manipulate into capturing more kids, and test subjects for his evil science team’s freaky bullshit and they dont even KNOW that they’re test subjects! they dont know that their prosthetic limbs are MADE FROM THE OTHER KIDNAPPED KIDS WHO NEVER CAME BACK god, im already imagining how they’d fuckin animate the poor ringleader guy throwing up as he realizes his arm is made from someone else’s bones and then he just DIES they all just die horribly in service of this disgusting fucking child murderer pedophile that they thought was their father half of them never learn that they were the villains all along, the other half get to know it just in time to despair utterly as they’re killed off too

and evil bastard’s trump card that kept them all obeying him it DIDNT EXIST he fucking held it over their heads that their other siblings were still out there somewhere, at his ‘orphanage’, and they had to work with him so he could send money back to them so they could all be happy too when really he’d killed them long ago, and for all we know they could be the ones that joker’s prosthetic arm was made from T_T and ciel’s fuckin only chance to do something to help the people he completely failed who all died hating him and thinking he’d betrayed them, that they were the good guys and he was the villain... that last chance was a fucking lie he tried to save the ‘other kids’ and the fucking ‘orphanage’ was an empty abandoned building full of nothing but maybe a stray doll they left behind before they were all horribly murdered so we just end on our protagonist being the absolute villain of this arc, and the actual villains being sympathetic kids, and him laughing like a madman as his last chance of redemption blows away on the wind

oh, and he fuckin personally murdered a bunch of kids too, even though he didnt kill all his villain friends with his own hand. he found some of the kids in the lab that were test experiments, the few who hadnt been killed yet. the few who’d had to watch potentially HUNDREDS of friends be dragged kicking and screaming to that operating table, and see every second of them being eviscerated into pieces. And ciel just sees himself in them, they’re all so catatonic that they cant even see him and all he can see is himself and he knows from personal experience that a kid can come back from that, but he knows how much of a monster he’s become and he thinks the kids would be happier if they could die as they are instead of losing themself so he just sets the whole building on fire and i end up crying for him even as he’s committing a horrible act! fucking moral ambiguity: the show

and god, even this episode’s goofy friendship fun parts were horrifying too! it starts off with the whole ‘ha ha ciel doesnt know this kid is Doll, cos she ~looks like a boy~ when she’s not in costume’ random stupidness but its still cute cos she’s being so kind to the newbie, and you can learn a lot about her character from it how she’s trying to be all smiley and goofy and giving him candy and saying how she’d never even tasted it before, and now he can stay here and be her lil brother and never get hit by anyone and never go hungry and she knows the goddamn price she has to pay for all this, and she wants to keep ciel innocent of it she doesnt know he’s already just as corrupted, and he’s really a spy sent to take them down and then just DEAR GOD THAT SCENE THAT IS NOT OKAY but it was absolutely fucking necessary I think, to keep the moral ambiguity and not make us just hate ciel forever she fuckin.. accidentally triggers a ptsd flashback in the poor kid he’s never been homeless before so he doesnt realise its a group bathroom, and then freaks out and tries to run. but she’s just teasing him as part of her cool big sis persona, and doesnt realise he has an actual reason to be scared. So they end up fighting and she accidentally reveals the scar on his back to everyone the fucking brand that was burned into him when he was kidnapped and enslaved and the episode just ends with our usually unflappable protagonist curled up in a ball under a towel, shaking and crying and his only comfort is the demonic butler he’s using to enact his revenge, and all he says is just ‘you’re better than this, you’re a badass’ ciel never really has any form of actual sympathy, does he? the only person who knows about what happened to him is this morally ambiguous monster minion guy. and the whole hook of the series is that we never really know if Sebastian actually gives a shit about ciel or any of the other humans, or if he’s just waiting for the poor kid to fuck up and leave an opportunity to devour his soul. I wanna believe that Sebastian does have some sort of fatherly affection for ciel, or at least they both care about each other in a sort of.. mutually evil way. But even if thats true, its not like sebastian is gonna really be any good to talk to in a time like this. he;s just gonna sass ciel for showing weakness. he just has this fuckin motivational speech of ‘yo ciel youre a fuckin evil bastard, remember? get up and continue your evil bastard ways’. and somehow it actually kinda works and actually kinda feels affectionate in context :P BUT STILL SERIOUSLY POOR CIEL he could have turned out a lot better than this if he had someone in his life who could actually give him a goddamn hug but I guess thats not really what he wanted, even though its what he needed instead he wished for the power to enact revenge on the one who killed his family and enslaved him and he set off on this long horrible path of becoming an evil bastard to track down this other evil bastard when he’s only fuckin ELEVEN and he’s happy to throw away his soul, and doesnt care if sebastian betrays him in the end and he burns in hell forever, as long as he can stop that evil bastard from doing the same thing to more children and this arc is so fucked up cos he failed so horribly to stop some OTHER evil bastard from doing the same thing to more children and he’s become so twisted and antiheroey and cynical that he missed his chances to redeem those poor other twisted kids, and maybe he could have done better in stopping the real villain if he had.. and the only fuckin thing we got out of this arc was that the bastard kidnapping these children was a copycat criminal of the one who did it to ciel, so we at least finally have one clue that might lead to a resolution someday but EVERYONE DIED and ciel’s even more fucking traumatized! and he’s jumped off the deep end and become full antihero evil bastard and all the character development he had during the arc has been negated and fuckin completely reversed cos of how it ended and he lost a bazillion friends and he was betraying them the entire time, and they died resenting him, or resenting him AND learning that he was right and they’d been working for the villain all along, and then he couldnt even save their other siblings cos they were long dead and just THIS FUCKING ARC IS SO FUCKED UP GAHHHHH

I guess sometimes you just wanna watch depressing cinema, yknow? I do hope that someday this series actually ends with at least a bittersweet ending, not an equally fatalistic one that means everything was all for nothing. i want the poor circus kids’s deaths to actually mean something...

Also, randomly and incidentally, I want the giant creepy pedo incesty shipping fandom to die in a fire. Before I even started watching it, Black Butler was famous as ‘that pedo anime’, everyone acted as if Sebastian x Ciel was canon and they kept teasing it in every episode or something. BUT NOPE. NONE. NICHT. NON. NAG YDW. Where the FUCK did they even get it from, seriously?? We don’t know if Sebastian is gonna betray ciel or not in the end, but im PRETTY FUCKING SURE that he doesn’t have a boner for a fucking ten year old! I know the idea of a demon servant is a common romance novel thing, but seriously wtf is wrong with you... I know I’m mad that this arc ended so horribly, but still I feel like the various moral ambiguity discussions are super interesting and I would have regretted if I’d never read any of this manga just because of some awful fanbase members.

ANYWAY IN SUMMARY bunni cry over episode

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ichigo-skaii · 6 years

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i woke up angry at him

why didn’t he just use a condom

why didn’t he act like he respected me

why did he have to sleep with a skank

he questioned whether or not he should do it but he did it and now she’s pregnant

he keeps calling me “love” and “dear” as if he still loves me like he used to

she wants to keep the fucking baby

she literally tricked him and didnt tell him she wasnt on birth control

she wanted a kid for awhile

she didn’t give a shit that that was someone else’s boyfriend and that he wasnt hers

and he didnt care whether or not she got pregnant or else he wouldve used a condom

and now he’s acting like he never loved me

as if our hearts didn’t touch

as if he didnt disassociate for a long time because of me

he told me he appreciated me

he told me to move on today as if he didnt tell me just a few weeks ago that he didnt actually respect me enough to wear a condom and not get a girl pregnant because he couldnt keep his dick in his pants for a few weeks when i was away at college

i told him it was okay, but i didnt expect him to move on so fast like that

i’m so hurt and i feel so so betrayed

i mean, i slept with a girl but it’s not like i could get her pregnant

maybe i should write poetry or put this into my art

my art would just be angry tbh

i would probably literally just stab a canvas

it sucks being back home where we used to sleep together and be together almost 24/7

we talked about moving to kansas city together

but my last boyfriend talked about moving to oregon in a big tree house with our two other friends

and i thought it was silly

but k talked about me going to the art school

and him taking care of me instead of the other way around for once

i took care of his family and they dont care about how much he hurt me i guess

they honestly loved the fuck out of me, his dad said he’d never seen k connect with someone so well before

a lot of people said that

which also makes it harder

it sucks having loved someone who can disassociate and disconnect so easily from emotions, because all they’ll do is tell you to get over it and that it was so easy for them to stop loving you

the first time you make a genuine connection and dont feel disconnected for once and it’s ruined by distance or a lack of condom

i wonder if this would have happened had i not of gone to new england

i never have expectations for other people, especially not k, because he didn’t do shit

he doesn’t work hard for anything and nothing motivates him

not even me

or at least.. barely

i got him out of his depressive state, i got him out of the house, i made him get out and spend time with friends and people and i stopped fucking around with this 23 year old guy because i felt a connection with him and saw that i could do so much better

and then i figured out

oh wait no i cant

at least the 23 year old guy...

idk he didn’t do anything for me

k did a lot of things for me

i want to remember the good times, but i’ll stay connected if i keep doing that

how he treated me the best of all my boyfriends and guys i’d ever been with

how he was the first guy of too many to actually make me cum

and eat me out too tbh

at least long enough for me to fucking cum and feel loved

i know i need to cut all contact with him but he was my best friend too

i cant say that about another boyfriend i’ve had

k was my boyfriend and my best friend and he betrayed me and he doesn’t love me and he didn’t respect me enough to use a condom because i thought we were special that we didnt need to because we loved each other and i was on birth control and a fucking responsible adult who didnt want children let alone make someone else suffer by getting pregnant and making someone be in my debt forever and ever

he said “why is everyone trying to ruin my life” and i saw his dad coming out and maybe even his mom

i dont know if i want to see him because i’m afraid of risking seeing that pregnant skank

but i also want free weed

if he even gets that for me

i honestly cant trust him anymore

he’s lied to me so much until i called him out when i was drunk one time and yelled at him to take me home and answer questions and then we fucked and it was good and we laughed in the kitchen and i thought maybe later in life we could get back together but that’s too much to think about

that’s too far ahead in the future to even fathom

it’s like trying to imagine having a million dollars, you can’t do that because it’s so... impossible i guess to obtain

i only have high expectations for myself, i set my standards lower and lower every time i get a boyfriend and i get fucked over time and time again

he was a college drop out, but he was so smart and had high aspirations and then i learned he had no motivations to get better for himself let alone anyone else

he said something to me like “you learned how a guy should treat you” and “go find a guy who will treat you good too”

and he did treat me well, he never got upset with me, he was always patient and he understood that my mental illness fluctuated and that i wasn’t changing, but that my mental illness fluctuated

i’m only 18, i’ll find someone like that again but i’m afraid i wont too, because k is one of a kind as we all are

i wish i knew how to stop being angry at him

i don’t hold grudges, i’m going to move on, but i’m so tired of being angry

i know i need to feel everything out, cry it all out, yell about it for awhile

i think after he gives me this weed i’ll finish blocking him on stuff

i blocked him on snapchat

where we started talking, where it’s easier to see his face and adore it

even back when i was a sophomore in high school his smile always got to me and i barely even knew him then

his smile is honestly one of the things i fell in love with

when we were both high in my car and i look over at him and he smiled at me and then grabbed the wheel because i didnt want to look away from his face

we drove around for hours and listened to music and every time we did it got later and later and he stopped caring about when he had to go home even though he used to say he didnt wanna stay out too late because his grandmother wouldnt like it even though he’s 20

i miss who he used to be and how much he loved me

he had the potential to do big things, and he fucked himself up

he fucked up really bad

he says people who have kids become famous all the time, but i dont believe that with him

ugh why do i still want to buy him gifts though

i want to get him a dad robe and dad slippers

he’s gonna be an awful father but at least he’ll look cool

i’ll wait until his birthday and see how i feel before dropping $30 on a guy who doesn’t love me anymore but says he cares about me and bullshit

he said no matter what there will always be a place in his heart for me

i can’t tell whether or not hes lying

he cried

he doesn’t feel things and he’s only cried two other times in the past i dont even know 8 or 10 years

i wonder if he’ll feel bad when he sees that i gave him baby socks

he said he feels awful for hurting me

he owes me $200

if he ever actually lands a job maybe he’ll pay me back

maybe i should buy him a box of condoms for christmas instead

i wish he felt anything at all

#blabber #sad boi hours #long post too

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