#it literally made me so fucking depressed like that was what pushed me over the edge in the 6th grade

[hoonietual]

let me tell u a story about how in the 5th grade, us 10/11 year olds were involved in so much drama and i was somehow at the center of it......... the entire school knew about it. it was weird as fuck.

[unbotheredalwyn]

So obviously after the Joe breakup shit changed we had that ratty twatty and then suddenly travis. Like ratty twatty first of all made it seem like you know this person is like horrible yet you choose to be with him? Everyone called her (rightfully) out I feel like cause he is really a twat of a person and the whole ice spice collab to basically "save" Matty twattys image. I also felt like it was unfair of her fans to force her to break up with him I mean it's her life. And Joe during this time went through so much shit after the break up I remember he was papped and everyone made fun of how skinny he is and how horrible he looks (he had bags under his eyes on the photo) which is actually sad cause he lost his grandmother I think during that time and people were genuinely saying disgusting things and saying mother is looking so much better etc etc while Joe was having a downwards spiral. Again I understand no one knew his depression was that bad but fuck swifties can be more kind.

Exit ratty twatty enter travesty lord this man gives me the ick.

Swifties are blinded by their relationship but he is really not a good dude. I mean that video live of him pushing his coach and yelling? Videos online of him being openly racist, being a trump supporter (and also swifties are dumb they think bc he got vaccinated and bent the knee for black lives matter he is somehow Democrat?) honey trump is vaccinated as well. And just because he supported blm does not make him a good person. He was PAID to do all that performative shit.

I mean she has millions of fans, thousands of young girls thinking the blatant red flags of travesty is hot and shit. Tells me he can push her around too. (not to mention he supported his abusive friend that literally hit his wife.)

And it feels like she's forcing travesty tbh? Like girlie you wanted the art to be about you yet you let some man overshadow it. Because truly that's what's happening like swifties are more into him at this point and the relationship they made up in their head as Taylor.

This is where I got annoyed and took a step back. Each time they were seen Joe got thousands and thousands of hate just for what being introverted?

Then they attacked Emma (Joe's Co worker) for a cheating rumor THEY MADE UP and the shit they said were so genuinely disgusting she had to switch off her comments.

Then Ai audio dropped about Joe abusing Taylor and Ai videos circled making it seem like Joe is a cheater when he is NOT. fuck they even trended a sex scene with that Alison chick he worked with saying he said Alison (her real name) and not her character's name when he DID NOT. It was in the fucking series! This woman got slut shamed so bad she turned off comments too for literally WORKING with Joe. Swifties literally spread shit around that he cheated on Taylor with Emma and Alison when he didn't! And the fucking best of all Taylor was on the set while filming conversations with friends. She most likely saw it IN PERSON and they chose to say all this genuinely disgusting shit about Alison who I've learned is actually a pretty good person.

Here I got genuinely disgusted.

So okay again I understand that Taylor can't control all her fans but her silence while her cult mass harrases people?

Whats insane to me is Joe. Like the guy got so much hate because SHE CHOSE to lead fans on. When she announced ttpd everyone thought the title relates to Joe and Paul mescal

Joe got mass hate

Then the secret songs at eras being about cheating

Joe got death threats

ALL TO BE AN ALBUM ABOUT THE FUCKING SEWER RAT SHE CAN'T GET OVER?!

she literally took ALL the hate against Joe *knowing* she's releasing an album dissing her 6 weeks situationship is genuinely disgusting. I cannot fathom it.

And AND the only thing she could say about Joe is dude did not want to marry her bc he was severely depressed WHICH IS NOT HER PLACE TO TALK ABOUT HIS STRUGGLES?

like I am SORRY this man wants to d word next to her and she just didn't care and wanted to fuck Matty?

Her partner, that got her through her darkest times BTW, did not deserve this.

She let all this mass harrasment just happen to market ttpd. Like genuinely what the actual fuck. 2 innocent women Emma and Alison were attacked and called sluts for genuinely existing and breathing the same air as Joe. And the proof he did not cheat is in her OWN lyrics. (which swifties cannot seem to fucking read bc they'd rather attack Joe than admit this album is about a sewer nazi rat)

The hate Joe got made me cry. The disgusting things they said about him. Swifties literally threatening to bash his head in with a hammer or that he needs to hang himself and they'd enjoy seeing his body swinging from the roof.

Genuinely why would any person say this to anyone at any time?

And they made fun of depression like. What. The. Fuck. Just because Joe might not see it does not mean other people with crippling depression won't.

Oh and a side note she's still bringing up Kim on albums? Not just Kim Kim's CHILD?! leave the kid alone.

Genuinely feel like the most honest Taylor we got was during lover (a time which Joe helped her voice her political opinions and shit) and idk I just feel cheated on?

My whole life I've defended Taylor against everyone and I genuinely feel like she's showing her true colors now being with travesty and ratty and I cannot fathom how this is the same Taylor I'm seeing now as she was like a few years ago.

And it's not just Joe that got death threats BTW. When midnights came out and everyone gave honest reviews cause that evil Jack antonof little gay man ruined the production there were journalists literally getting so much death threats its insane.

Taylor gets (rightfully) called out and fans can't handle it.

She needs to address them ASAP. All these parasocial freaks. The people harrasing Joe. The people literally only seeing Taylor as a breeder for travestys children.

I can't genuinely I can't this is not how I want to feel about Taylor I mean I gave her my youth I looked up to her so much I feel so disappointed in the way she's acting yk?

Yes maybe she can't do jack shit about swifties but she can try.

And her staying quiet over Palestine? Her voice her one post about a ceasefire could change EVERYTHING.

idk at this point I can't stand to be around Taylor.

[n3ptoonz]

Hello! I saw your most recent headcanon list thing with the Earthrealm guys being caught Slonking it Silly Style™ and uh. I was just wondering if you'd be willing to do something similar with the Outworld guys as well? Obviously you don't have to if you don't want to, but I think it would be neat! Thank you so much in advance! I love your work :)

deep, dramatic sigh. (kidding anon tysm i gush over comments like this ily smoochhhh) also the terminology made me laugh out loud ty for that

Shang Tsung

kinda sorta didn't gaf. who's to say he didn't want you to hear him. the world may never know

you were to report to him about some findings for his experiments and there he was, leaning over the table and straight up cranking it over a bucket (he's odd like that) honestly when you acknowledge your own presence he's like... can i help you?? you see i'm busy???

but at the same time he's like hold up i have a fine specimen here to help me out here...he's leaving here with SOMETHING (studio laughter)

Rain

i don't think he'd care either if you walked in on him. in fact, he might welcome it. he's used to having his own space, but he doesn't mind sharing it with people he's ok with being around. yes that includes you (is it only you? not even he knows yet)

day 8163 of using Rain's arrogance to push my narrative that he's not only in love with himself but how he looks in the mirror. you definitely walked in on him wanking it in the mirror and he'd freeze but recover so quick

ain't no way you're leaving here after you just caught him though. how else will his problems get solved? you went and made him hard all over again!

Reptile

syzoth has two, let's get that out the way. AND he uses both hands for them LMAOO

president of syzoth is a lil subby bitch society. so when you catch him tugging on both and reduced to a pathetic mess from his own hands??? he's frozen and quite literally has no clue what to do. he's sweaty, there's tears in his eyes, and his fangs are much more pronounced than usual

once you give him the green light that you're into whatever tf he was just doing watch him crawl over to you on all fours and hug your legs, practically begging you to touch him

Havik

expect this smug fuck to claim he wanted this to happen. dude was hunched over and going at it behind his own desk, grunting like a cave man who discovered self pleasure for the first time

1000% expect him to demand you help him, but instead it's after he froze for like 5 seconds and then tried to play it off

he would also be internally shocked when agree to finish the job, but on the outside it's like "that's what i thought...now get over here" whole time he's jumping up and down and twirling in his brain

Reiko

it's already rare that he has time to himself and definitely RARELY has time to be with you for an extended period of time, so you catching him when you wanted to surprise him with your presence it triggered his fight or fight LMAO

legit laughed at the thought of him jumping up from his chair hands ready to be thrown...but his dick is swinging PLSSSSSS

he's like well shit now he deserves your help after you almost got two pieced by your own boyfriend...but who's complaining?!

General Shao

this man weirdly reminds me of bowser sometimes. with that being said i think he'd do a BUAHA as a shocked sound when you catch him thwoping the schlong

as much as i can't fucking stand him he does look a lil better in this game i will admit. i'm not gonna sit up here and lie, he def has a HUGE wanker innit. so you didn't miss shit when you walked into his chambers

he would also demand your help. but if you have a lil push back just for fun, he'd eventually say please and be all soft and shit. why? cause it's you god damn it!

Baraka

let's be fr. truly i do not think mk1 baraka would masterbate simply bc he's like depressed all the time😭but for the sake of shits and gigs, ill humor y'all

let's say he hasn't seen you in a while and misses you dearly. he knew you were on a quest for a while, and he was very pent up... so what better way to release stress other than sparring! oh. not enough? time for another type spar 😈

if this were old baraka i'd say he has two 👁️ but since this version of tarkat is a disease let's say it made the skin around his wee like ribbed or something ya SO when you caught him he was in a straight up panic and apologizing profusely but once you calm him down and tell him you're glad he missed you so much, he's like oh shit...well help me out then...only if you want to!

a/n: i did it y'all FUCK. my bad for taking so long to release this i'm a perfectionist to a fault💀

[asoiafsworld]

BELONG TO YOU - one

pairing; ellie williams x fem!reader

summary; you're new on campus and ellie notices you. despite your shyness and struggles of being anti social, you can't help but fall in love with her.

warnings and tags; modern!au, college!au, dealer!ellie, reader is shy, anxiety, depression, fluff, angst, eventual smut, touch starvation, ellie has a dick in this, reader is also pretty innocent, might make a kink out of it, drug abuse, obsessiveness, love at first sight kinda thing

author's note; i folded. im finally writing for my lovely ellie and feel like this is the worst thing i have ever written lmao. i was going to write all of this in like a very long one chapter thing but i literally can't so here's what u get. not even sure if i wanna continue this but if u guys like it i might. thanks for reading, pls tell me what u think of it <3

two

You feel lost.

You’re new to this place, new to this city, new to these people. You never expected to get away from your past, awful life and you’re still not sure if you have. Because you look around and observe the people at campus, see everyone with their friend groups or romantic partners and feel so utterly alone. You always have been, always too shy to talk to someone and too awkward to hold a conversation… or a friendship. Not that anyone ever thought you were worth being friends with.

It’s always been suffocating, this loneliness, this darkness that overtakes your mind when it’s quiet and you’re alone. You get that feeling when you sit under a tree in the park on campus and watch and observe the people around you. It’s not like you’re being ignored, you would have to be acknowledged first to be ignored. But people walking past you and not giving a single fuck about your existence is somewhat hurtful. One guy even stepped on your book earlier and didn’t even apologize to you. It was closed, thankfully, but it made you keep your things closer to you, making your little bubble smaller than it already is. You take a deep breath and look away from the crowded park and back down on your notes, distracting yourself from your self deprecating thoughts.

The moment that you look down, she looks up. Ellie’s gaze only wanders over you for a split second and she was going to let her gaze go over the park and the many people that she knows and sells to. But her brain works a second later than her eyes do so she looks back to the lone figure sitting under the tree, hair spilling down as your eyes sharply go over the notebook in your hands. Ellie is mesmerized for some reason, unable to look away from you and your pretty face and your legs enveloped in bright blue jeans and your fingers tracing the words on your book and your breasts pushing up as you breath-

“Earth to Ellie? Hello? You having a stroke or something?” Her eyes break away forcefully from you to look at her friend, Dina, who is looking at her with a questioning but amused glint in her eyes. Her mouth is working faster than her brain so the question doesn’t fully register until she says it.

“Do you know who that is? The girl under the tree? Never seen her before.” Dina’s eyebrows raise at the question and she turns around to look at where Ellie’s eyes have strayed to once more. She watches you take out your pen from your bag and scribble something down on your notebook, your lips puckering as you’re writing. It’s as if you don’t realize how pretty your lips look like this, how Ellie has to restrain her mind from thinking of something totally inappropriate. She doesn’t even know you, not even your name but the way you sit there all alone and almost helplessly lonely makes something in her stir. You shouldn’t be alone when she knows how many disgusting boys are at this college, even if it’s at a park with so many people out on a sunny day.

“Yeah, she’s new, moved into the empty room at the end of our hall. Pretty sure she’s next to your room.” Dina has turned her head back around and can’t hide the little smirk that forms on her face when she sees Ellie staring. She takes another second to let her eyes linger on you, on how gorgeous you look when the sun shines down on you before she stands up. She walks towards you with confidence and determination, not even entirely sure why. You just look so pretty to her, the way you sit there and study whilst everyone else is doing anything but studying. Something in her gut and in her chest stirs when she sees you sitting alone and looking seemingly sad. She doesn't think that anyone else notices but she sees that you look a little helpless, like a lost puppy not knowing where to go.

For some reason, she wants you to go to her.

You don’t realize that someone stands in front of you until a shadow is cast over you and your book, making it difficult to see your notes. When you look up, you see a tall girl in a crew neck shirt and an unbuttoned denim work shirt over it. She’s wearing faded blue jeans and blue converse, her brown, shoulder length hair partially tied to keep it out of her face. Her eyes are pale green and piercing as she looks down on you, the gaze in her eyes so intense but looking at you with all the ease in the world. Your heart races at this, so unused to someone looking at you or approaching you. You grip your book tightly to keep yourself from getting up and running away and hope she says something before you have to.

“Hi. Mind if I sit next to you?” Her voice sounds clear as she speaks, no hesitation or doubt in the way she speaks and even stands in front of you. You’re taken aback by her question and desperately suppress the urge to ask why she wants to be next to you. You don’t know her, only remember that she lives in the room next to yours and that there’s always people coming and going out of her room. You’ve seen her recieve money at her door sometimes in exchange for… god knows what she is giving other people, you wouldn’t know. You nod slowly and try not to look overly confused at her as she sits down right next to you, the body heat she radiates so close to you that it almost throws you off. You don’t know the last time someone sat this close to you and don’t want to think further about the feeling you often feel when you watch other people hug or kiss each other or hold hands. Touch starving, that’s what the internet called it when you googled it. You know that it’s true because you do not remember the last time you hugged someone or felt physical touch in any form. You feel so embarrassed when you accidentally brush against someone in the hallways because most of the time, your body craves more of that touch.

You are unsure of what to do now with someone sitting next to you, your breath held in carefully as if the world would shatter if you breathed out. Why is she sitting next to you? Did you do something wrong? You stare down at the book in your lap but can’t really think when there’s someone, a very pretty girl actually, sitting right next to you. There’s a slight breeze that hits you from the side and it carries the girl's scent with it, earthy and lemony from something that you can’t place. You like the smell, it suits her. You turn your head slightly and see that she’s been looking at you this entire time, the gaze in her eyes studying you and a small smile formed on her lips. God, she’s so gorgeous, it truly takes your breath away. She proceeds to hold a hand out to you and you look down to it before looking back up.

“I’m Ellie.” She says and and you smile slightly at how sweet she seems, introducing herself to a complete stranger. You briefly wonder how lonely you must have looked for Ellie to approach you and try not to think about it for too long. You tell her your name, your voice a little too shaky and too unsure, as if you just came up with your own name. You put your hand into hers and dig your finger into your palm on your other hand because this much body contact is not something you are used to. Your hand is smaller than hers and it looks tiny in her bigger, warmer hand. You almost don’t want to let go because her warmth and touch make something stir in your gut, something comforting and wholesome that you don’t know if you’ve ever felt before. It takes a lot of willpower for you to break your hand away from hers, willing to let it stay in hers for as long as she would let you but you shouldn’t scare her off right away.

“So, you’re pretty new here. What’s your major?” Ellie is captivated by the girl in front of her. You are even prettier up close and Ellie has a hard time not looking at your lips constantly or your tiny hand that fits into hers twice over. You look confused and helpless, even if you try to hide it and it makes Ellie’s heart hurt a little. Why do you seem so scared of even talking to anyone? And why is Ellie so interested in you? She doesn’t know why she even came over here but the moment she saw you, every nerve in her brain only had one goal: to talk to you. You look at her with an unreadable look in our eyes and nervously brush your hair behind your ear.

“Uhm, M-marine Biology.” You feel heat rise to your cheeks at your stutter and hope she doesn’t notice it. She seems perceptive enough that she probably does but also tactful enough to not comment on it. Her eyebrows raise a little at your answer and you hope she doesn’t think it’s lame. You don’t know why you don’t want her to think you’re lame.

“Marine biology… That’s pretty cool.” Your heart does a little flip at the way she draws her words out and you can hear a slight accent in her voice. It sounds southern but it’s not that noticeable. “So, you like fish?”

The question is so silly that it takes you aback and you do something that you never do in front of other people; you giggle. You hope it doesn’t sound stupid to her because it certainly does to you and you quickly bite your lip to stop yourself. You look at her again and now have a small smile on your lips that seems to make her smile in return. She’s so incredibly attractive, the way she sits with her knees drawn up and her hair tied back and her eyes looking at you in a certain way that you can’t describe.

“Yeah, I guess I do. What’s your major?” You mentally give yourself a pat on the back for your progress on socializing but talking to someone like this is still unknown territory for you. You’re still incredibly nervous next to her and hope you don’t say something stupid.

“Fine arts. Was always interested in it, I draw a lot and I guess I’m pretty good at it… or something.” The way Ellie bashfully scratches the back of her head and blushes at the last part makes your chest feel warm, for whatever reason. She seems like an artistic kind of person, the tattoos on her arms catching your attention and wondering if she drew them herself. She must be talented, you think to yourself. How couldn’t she be with hands like hers.

You are distracted by the sound of her name being called and look towards a girl with dark hair and sharp, memorable features. She’s pretty, very pretty and looks at Ellie impatiently. You wonder if that’s her girlfriend, certain of Ellie being gay with the way she carries herself and… sits. And wears converse. Your heart hurts at that thought and you feel incredibly stupid for it. Ellie sighs next to you and gets up, looking back down at you with an apologetic smile.

“I’m sorry, I promised my friend Dina to drive her downtown. But… Maybe you would like to see my drawings? Or just, hang out. We’re neighbors after all.” You can’t pretend that hearing her call the girl her friend doesn’t make you relieved and the small smile is on your face again as you feel better at the revelation. You don’t know if you should let news like this affect you the way they do but how could you not cling onto every detail when someone talks to you like a friend… for maybe the first time since you were a child. You nod as you stare and memorize her face, her pretty freckles captivating you.

“Yeah, I would like that.” Your voice is soft as you speak and you play with your fingers to distract yourself, swallowing as you see the way she stares down at you. Her hand reaches towards you and gently, so softly, she brushes a strand of hair behind your ear. Her finger brushes over your cheek so delicately that your stomach twists at the touch and you genuinely don’t know how to keep yourself sane. Your lashes flutter softly at her touch but your eyes remain locked on hers, desperate to hear her say something else or let her touch your however she wants to.

“I’ll see you then.” Ellie pulls her finger away gently and turns around, walking towards her friend. You watch as Ellie moves further and further away from your point of view until she is not even visible but you have barely come back to your senses by then. You exhale the breath you held in and softly close your eyes, touching the cheek that she had touched so softly. The moment keeps replaying in your mind, her intense gaze not faltering for once as she looks down at you like she can do whatever she wants, like… like she owns you.

You’re embarrassed by how much you like that thought. All your life, you have been alone, your family estranged and abusive, no friends to keep you sane, your mentality and shyness not allowing you to make friends. And here comes this girl, this gorgeous, pretty, intimidating girl that just sits next to you and touches you like she’s never done anything different. She seems like the kind of person that makes you feel safe, that protects you and takes care of you. The kind of person that you belong to.

She’s a stranger. You barely know her and yet, you can’t help your thoughts. You want to belong to her.

[v3nusstardust]

🤍”Somethin’ stupid”🤍

Pairing : BF!Niki Nishimura x DEPRESSEDreader! (Real) 🎀

Genre : fluff <3 sad af tho idfk what the genre is

WARNINGS : mentions of self harm, depression, anxiety

A/N : SRRY I usually post like once a week and I forgot to this week I think… Idrk I literally have a fucking concussion rn💀 happened bcs lowkey thought I was in a music video and did cartwheels in my room at 3 am and smacked the shit out of my head and then hit my head on the floor and woke up seeing Gojo Satoru shakin ass 💀😜 anyway enjoy yawl😳

•

•

In the car with your boyfriend Niki, heading to the movie theater, the atmosphere was perfect –soft music, and a feeling that made life worthwhile. It had been a month since you’d seen him. These small moments you had with Niki made your life worth living. Most of the time he was busy or away for his idol duties and you’d miss him so badly. You would wonder if him being away for so long would end up with you both breaking up or you both falling out of love. The thought always made you feel nauseous and overwhelmed. Your overthinking would get the best of you sometimes, and you would result to self harm. Niki had no idea though and you never planned on telling him.

"Y/n, you might want to ditch the hoodie; it's getting pretty warm in here. You're sweating," your boyfriend chuckled, casting a glance your way. "No kidding, it's hot as hell." You sighed wiping your forehead with your sleeve. As you started to pull down the zipper your hoodie, the memories of your scars made you hesitate. “Actually I’m fine. I can handle it.” You reassured Niki. “Huh? Don’t risk a heat stroke, take it off,” he insisted, concern etching his face. “No I’m literally gonna be fine trust me.” You countered, zipping your hoodie back up quickly. “Y/n. It’s the middle of summer and you’re wearing a hoodie darling. You might wanna take it off.” Niki suggested, a puzzled look was painted on his face. “I’m gonna be alright trust me.” You gave Niki a sweet smile, trying to look unsuspicious. “Whatever you say Y/n.” Your boyfriend sighed.

You and Niki finally arrived at the movie theater. You checked in, got tickets, got snacks and headed to your movie. The air-conditioned theater promised relief from the summer heat, but your hoodie remained a steadfast companion.

Inside the cool, dimly lit theater, you found your seats, the contrast between the chilly air and your hoodie creating a cozy bubble. The movie previews flickered on the screen, and the scent of buttered popcorn filled the air.

Niki leaned over and whispered, "Are you sure you won't overheat in there?..”

“It’s cool in here Niki! I’m fine.” You softly giggled. The movie began, and you got so into it that the hoodie wasn't on your mind anymore. The plot grabbed your attention, and the cozy warmth just blended into the background.

Midway through the movie, Niki gently reached for your hand, intertwining his fingers with yours. Your initial reaction was surprise; you were aware of Niki's habit for tracing his fingers along your palms and wrists. Softly pushing his hand away, you met his gaze. He looked absolutely ethereal in the dim theater lighting.

"Do you not want to hold hands?" Niki whispered, pouting with a hint of sadness.

"I do, just... not right now," you replied. Niki's worried expression prompted him to ask, "Is there something wrong?"

You hesitated before responding, "No, no, I just... don't worry about it."

Your words, though intended to reassure, unintentionally stabbed at Niki's heart. His love for you was profound, and while he knew he could be clingy, he never imagined it could "annoy you." The worry in his eyes lingered as the movie played on.

You both went back to the apartment after the movie. The car ride was quiet because you pretended to be asleep, avoiding a talk about why you didn't hold hands. Niki spent the entire ride overthinking what he might have done wrong.

“Niki. I’m gonna go take a shower.” You said, walking off to your room to get your clothes. “Oh okay. I’ll make you some tea for when you get out.” He replied.

When you stepped in the shower, the warm water stung your fresh cuts. You held your wrists and winced in pain, small tears ran down your cheeks. Staring at your wrists, you wondered how you could be so stupid. You regret doing it , because now Niki might see them. The thought made you softly cry. Thank God the shower water was loud enough to cover up your soft muttering and sighs.

After your shower, you returned to the kitchen. Niki was busy cooking dinner and brewing tea for both of you, a delightful surprise that warmed your heart. Soft music played from his speaker next to the stove.

Curious, you asked, "What are you making?" Sitting at the table, he chuckled and replied, "Pasta, I’m trying out new things." The song changed to your favorite, "Somethin’ Stupid” by Frank Sinatra. Excitedly, you exclaimed, "Niki, you added my favorite song to your playlist!"

With a smile, he admitted, "I really like this song. Isn't it your favorite?" You giggled, "Duh! I play it all the time in your car." Niki turned off the stove and approached you. "Is the food ready?" you inquired. "Not yet, but how about we dance?" he suggested, extending his hand with a gentle smile, eyes filled with admiration.

In the soft glow of the dim kitchen light, you and Niki began to slow dance. The soothing melody of the song filled the air as he held you close. The ambiance was warm, and the subtle scent of dinner in the making lingered.

Niki led with gentle grace, swaying to the music with you in a tranquil dance. The rhythmic steps mirrored the easy connection between you two, the worries of the day fading away in the embrace of the moment. His hand rested on the small of your back, fingers delicately entwined with yours. As you swayed together, his other hand found its place on your waist, the closeness allowing you to feel the comforting warmth of his touch. The subtle aroma of the cooking dinner heightened the sensory experience.

Niki's gaze, brimming with stars and admiration, locked onto yours as he gently took your hand in his. However, reality snapped you back, and a sudden fear of him discovering your self infliction made you pull away. You pulled your hand away from his gently. Niki stopped dancing with you, his eyes locked onto yours with concern. "I'm sorry for asking, but why don't you want me to hold your hand?" he inquired.

A tremor ran through you, fear intensifying. Taking a deep breath, you hesitated before admitting, "I... I just," struggling to find the right words. The fear of Niki discovering your scars weighed heavy on your mind.

After a moment, you decided to face it. "Actually, you know what? Hold hands with me," you said, mustering a smile and intertwining your fingers with his. It was a fleeting decision, hoping that the dance would end before he’d notice. He brought a gentle kiss to your forehead. “Your hair smells good.” He nestled his nose into your hair. The song made the moment vulnerable. You found yourself forgetting about all your worries once again. He brought his lips to your wrist, you didn’t even catch it either. You were too busy humming the melody of the song into his chest. Niki pressed his lips to your wrist. He quickly pulled back and examined if, squinting his eyes. You suddenly realized what he was doing. You pulled away from his arms and held your wrist. His face looked indescribable. Worried, sad, confused all at the same time. The song had stopped already, and the room fell silent. "Y/n," Niki uttered softly, his voice carrying a mixture of concern and care. Before he could say more, your lips began to quiver, and tears welled up in your lashes. A gentle cascade of tears spilled from your eyes.

Niki, swift in his response, hurried over and enveloped you in a warm embrace. His chin rested on your head, and his hand traced soothing circles on your back. Anxiety gripped you like a constricting fog, the weight on your chest almost suffocating. Tears stained Niki's once-white shirt, but he paid it no mind.

"It's okay. I'm not upset," he reassured, planting a tender kiss on the top of your head. "My poor, beautiful girl. When did you do that?" he asked, lifting your chin to meet his gaze. Your hyperventilating made it challenging to speak, rendering you silent in the vulnerability of the moment.

Your hyperventilation began to subside, allowing you to regain some composure. "I..was just.. overthinking," you finally managed to admit, your voice still shaky.

Niki's expression softened, a mixture of empathy and a determination to be there for you. “Was it because of me?” he whispered, his thumb brushing away a tear that lingered on your cheek.

You hesitated, the weight of your emotions pressing against your chest. "Yes?... no," you stumbled over your words, struggling to articulate the whirlwind within. "I just miss you so much when you're gone for so long. I feel so lonely again. You're... you're my only light, and the only one in my life who actually makes me happy. I can't stand it when you're away."

Niki's gaze held a depth of understanding as he gently cradled your face. "Y/n, I didn't realize. I'm here for you, always. I’ll bring you with me next time, and the next one after that. I promise my love,” he reassured. His words soothed the ache within your heart. “I’ll be back,” Niki gently pulled his body away from yours. “I’m gonna go get bandages from the bathroom. Sit down,” he kissed your cheek before leaving the room.

When Niki returned, you couldn't help but chuckle at the state of his shirt, soaked with tear and snot stains – undeniably gross. Standing in front of you, he gently took hold of both your injured wrists, his eyes carrying a mix of hurt and pain. Soft elastic bandages in hand, he began to wrap your wrists with a delicate touch.

As he worked, you noticed a subtle glisten in his eyes. His fingers traced along the palms of your wrists, a silent acknowledgment of shared pain. You looked up at him with teary eyes and saw the vulnerability in his gaze.

"Promise me you'll never do this again," he pleaded, his voice cracking with emotion. Small tears escaped his eyes, tracing down his cheeks. Overwhelmed, you apologized, "I... I'm sorry. I promise. I'm so sorry."You rose from your chair, embracing Niki tightly, the shared pain and promise binding you together in that moment. “I love you so much darling you have no idea. To know that you’ve been hurting yourself like this.. it kills me.” He whispered softly. “I love you too, Niki.” You placed a soft kiss to his chin.

"Do you wanna finish making dinner, and then we can cuddle after?" you proposed.

As Niki's sniffles gradually subsided, a tender smile graced his face, the corners of his eyes still dampened. Niki's smile widened as he looked down at you. "Of course," he agreed, his head tilting slightly. In that gentle tilt, he closed the distance, leaning in for a long, reassuring kiss.

Together, you continued with the meal, the kitchen filled with the comforting aroma of food and music. You showed Niki more songs you liked and he added them to y’all’s new slow dancing playlist.

As you placed the finishing touches on the meal, Niki slid his arms around you, pulling you into a warm embrace. "Smells amazing in here, thank you for helping me darling.”

The conversation during dinner went smoothly. You both talked about stories of the past and dreams for the future. Niki's eyes, still holding a glimmer of tenderness, locked onto yours, reinforcing the unspoken understanding that this moment, amidst shared laughter and a table filled with love, was truly special.

Cuddling on the couch, the outside world faded away, leaving room for the intimacy of shared comfort. “You’re so pretty y/n” Niki admired your facial features. The smell of his fresh Basil and mandarin cologne brought you comfort. You threw your leg over his and snuggled closer onto him. He could feel your soft breaths on his neck. Niki peppered kisses on your temples. He was humming a gentle tune to one of your favorite songs. The moment made you realize how lucky you were to be with someone like him.

A/n : erm I literally fell asleep writing this w my hard ass fit on and makeup bruh my skin is breaking out hella someone come kill me. Srry for the amount of mistakes btw I did not read over it 🤓🤓 I raw dogged this it might be shitty Also I hope y’all liek:3 i put my whole venussy into this. Xoxo💋💋

[lovelywritinglady]

Tengen +wives x reader

When the reader comes for a abusive household as a kid and suffers from depression and PTSD and has flashbacks often (like for example if it gets too loud or when she sees any type of violence) she has a breakdown she has a natural tendency to run as far away as possible to find her safe place (her room Tengen gives reader her own bedroom for when this happens) she sometimes forgets that she has a husband and wives she sometimes mistakes them for her parents and thinks they are going to do something to her (what Tengen and his wives are trying to do is to calm her down but nothing is working they give her some space they decide to get her favorite food and just forgets what happens) when they get back to their house reader is no longer in their room but in the backyard and has the most beautiful set up for dinner and wants to apologize for making a scene in public and want to make up because sometimes she feels like a burden because of the problems that she has but reassures reader they she is not a burden in anyway.

You’re Not A Burden

Tengen x wives x fem!reader

Angst, mentions of mental health issues, triggering subjects, fluff, and reassuring themes. Tengen and the wives are the literal best! Rough language and slight physical violence.

Your Pov

The morning was crisp and clear with a slight feel of dew that has kissed the evergreen grass. I normally wake up earlier than the rest of my loves and make their food and start fixing the house from the night before. I do this to feel useful and to help out as much as I can considering the fact that I'm not a shinobi nor am I a demon slayer. Hell, I'm not really sure who I am except the fact that I'm in love with four people that are so strong and skilled. However, most of the time I'm terrified that they will push me away and throw me out. My father and mother did that a few years ago. They claimed that I was nothing a no one would ever want me and that I would die on the streets. I believed them until my husband Tengen came along and took me into his home. I then met his wives and all of us somehow fell in love. I'm forever grateful for their love and care.

Taking a deep brethe of the morning air I smiled with delight before making my way into the house to make breakfast for everyone. As I walked in I was already met with Makio and Suma making a fuss just like they do every morning. As Tengen and Hina were sitting at the table drinking their tea that I had prepared this morning. I smiled at my family starting on breakfast.

"Y/n, good morning my dear!" My sweet husband beamed at me.

"Yes, good morning love." Hina chimed in.

"Good morning everyone, food will be served shortly." I responded with a loving smile.

The other two that paused their bickering, looked at me and immediateky went to my side. "Can we help?" they both said in unison quite loudly which startled me a bit.

"No, its okay, I can manage. But thank you so much!" I beamed at them tying not to seem nervous.

"Are you sure?" Suma asked blinking her eyes adorably.

"Yes, I'm sure." I reassured her and she just smiled and went to the table along with Makio and sat themselves next to Tengen.

After a few short moments breakfast was served and my loves began digging in, but not before blessing the food and giving me thanks. I smiled at their gratitude and began eating my meal with them. And as if on cue, Suma and Makio began bickering which always made me nervous, but at this point I was use to it. That was until all hell broke lose when Suma accidentially moved in the wrong way which caused Maikio to bump into Tengen. He then moved himself out of the way which made him knock his tea on his lap that made him jump up and knock his plate along with the spilled tea cup onto the floor making a very loud crashing sound.

"You idiots, stop messin around. You made me spill the tea and food all over the fucking placsutbbornee. Be more careful!" Tengen roared loudly as he sat back down sighing as he did.

Suma and Makio were frantically apologizing and Tengen was scoulding for their clumisness, Hina was looking at me and asking me things. However, for some reason, I couldn't hear her nor the bickering that was happening at the end of the table. My breathing was heavy and it felt as though my entire being was shrouded in a storm cloud. My eyes felt heavy with tears and I'm sure I was making a face. All of it was too much and I abruptly left the room as my anxieties got too much. I ran as fast as I could to my room, locking the door as I did. I tried slowing my breathing and different methods of calming myself that I have learned over the years. However, none of that was effective as I soon found myself rembering that horrible day. The day that I was so sure would be my last day. The day my father and mother told me that I was nothing and that it would have been better if I was just dead. My mother always went on about how her body was ruined because of me and how I would never amount to anything. All of these words were echoing in my mind now. My body shook and my breathing was worse now. It felt like the air was filled with thick smog. I put my hands over my ears trying to block out the noises.

Suddenly, I felt large hand touch my shoulders and my head shot up and I saw a blurry figure trying to talk to me. I immediately retreated back screaming at the figure. "Go away! Leave me alone!" The figure walked closer and images of my father flashed through my mind and at that moment I concluded that it was him. He found me even after I had run away from him and my mother. 'Oh God was she here?' I though to myslelf. I began frantically searching the room in search of her too. As if on cue, a female figure walked into the room as well. I screamed again thinking that the figure must be her. "PLease I didn't do anything! Mom please I'm sorry don't hate me dad!" I whailed pushing myself against the wall trying to get away from them. It was all too much the fiugres getting closer and their bpoices getting clearer. As soon as I realized that the blurred figures were the loves of my life. I felt relieved as I then passed out from pure exhaustion.

When I woke up I was alone in my room surrounded by darkness. My throat felt dry and I tried calling out at something yet nothing came out. After gathing some of my strength I walked out into the kitchen to find it empty. However, a pitcher with water and a small plate of cookies were placed next to it along with a note. I sat down and poured myself a large glass of water and chugged it. I smiled at the care my loved ones show. I took small bites of the cookies savoring every delicious bite nearly crying at how good they were. I then remembered the note and carefully unfolded it. It read, "Y/n, we love you and were are so sorry that you had a hard day today. You've gotten so much better at managing your tramua and we are so very proud of you. Tomorrow all of us are going to the festival of flowers in the afternoon. You are more than welcome to join us! And please kmow that you do not need to talk about what happened if you don't want to. If you decide you want to, we are all here for you. We love you so much! With love, Tengen, Hina, Makio, and Suma." To say I was balling my eyes out was a complete understatement. I hated when my meltdowns happened but, their love and compassion for me was truly unmatched. Most of the time I question why I deserve them as much as I do. I decided right then and there that a little date outing would be nice and might be just what I need after today. So, I finished my delicious food, cleaned up, and went back to my room for some much needed rest before tomorrow.

The next day, I woke up around the same time I always do to fix my loves their tea and breakfast. However, I was met with the tea already made and all four of my lovers making breakfast. I chuckled at the sight of them attempting to make breakfast. They all turned to me and smiled telling me that brekfast was nearly done and to enjoy the tea that was set out. To my surprise, the tea was delicous and was the perfect mixtiure of sweet and bitter, just the way it should be. I complimented the tea and as soon as I did Tengen boasted that he had made it all by himself and to that I, of course, thanked him graciously. Its not everyday that the sound hashira himself makes people tea. Soon enough the food was ready and again it was good and I wondered to myself I they really needed me to cook for them everyday considering they can make such food by themselves. And as if Makio could read my mind, she suddenly patted my back and spoke.

"You dummy, I know that face and your cooking is the best I've ever had. No one can cook like you can and even if you couldn't cook very well, I know damn well that I'd still eat it because I love you." she reassured as she then kissed my cheek and began munching on her food. The others agreed which caused me to feel my cheeks heat with slight embarsessment.

Soon we finished, got dressed, and made our way to town that was beautifully decorated to match the theme. The streets were packed with people all excited for the festival. As the trees were in full bloom as the petals that were blown off were covering the streets like a beautiful multicolored blanket of snow. It was a breathtaking sight and I looked at Hina who was already looking at me with a sickly sweet smile that it felt as though the view of the blossoms no longer mattered as much as her smile. God I felt so lucky.

"Hey, Hey, Hey! Girls lets go over there!" Suma squeled with pure excitement as she grabbed mine and Makio's arm dragging us to a nearby stand. Her eyes sparkled with excitement at all of the things that were for sale. I was even interested in some of them and so was Hina and Makio. Tegnen saw our excitement as he patted us on the head.

"Pick something out you four and I'll get it for ya!" Tengen said smiling at us.

"Are you sure, Lord Tengen?" I asked my generous husband

"Of course my love." he responded pinching my cheek softly.

The four of us all picked out our items as there were a number of ones to choose from I choose a simple yet beautiful hair pin that I thought would compliment my h/t h/c hair. Hina got a scarf, Makio got a ring, and Suma decided to get a cute plush to add to her ever growing collection. Tengen looked at our items and seemed happy with what we decided to get and promptly paid for them thanking the booth owner as he paid. He then walked to me gently grabbing the hair pin.

"My I put this in your hair, Y/n?" He asked in that to-die-for voice he has that made me melt. I nodded my head already flustered by him as he put it in the side of my head. It sat comfortably and I turned to look in the mirror that was provided my the booth owner admirimg my new accessory. I thanked Tengen for the gift as he went to the other three. He than wrapped Hina's scarf around her, placed Makio's ring on her middle finger, and patted the head of Suma's plush. We all blushed and gawked at our husband as he began walking the streets looking at all there was around to see. We followed him as we too admired the sights around us. I decided to walk slightly ahead of him not realizing that I would venture much farther than anticipated. As I wasn't looking out for my surroundings properly and accidentiely bumped into a rather large man who knocked me down into the streets.

"Hey watch where you're going you clumsy bitch!" The man yelled as the woman he was with began laughing at the state I was in.

"I'm sorry sir I didn't mean to." I pleaded with him as tears fell down my now dirty and slightly scratched up face.

"Aww, look what you did!" He yelled looking down at his feet that were now ever so slightly dusted with dirt. It was so slightly there that I had to nearly squint just to see it. Even still, I felt bad.

"I'm so sorry, here I'll find something to clean it with." I said standing up quickly as to find something to clean his shoe with. That same familiar feeling arouse and everything felt foggy once again. I felt my breathing get harder and the same feeling of tightness in my throat began to appear. I knew in my heart that bumping into someone is not the biggest deal, but the way this man was acting make it seem like I was the most vile creature he has ever laid eyes on. The people surrounding us began to whisper and I swear I heard even more people start to laugh. It became too much and too overwhelming. My cries escalated into full blown panic crying. He smirked at this, and I could tell his man was a vile man, just like my father...

"Hey get the fuck away from my wife!" Yelled my husband as he made his way through the tight crowd of people along with my wives. He had a look on his face that I don't think I've ever seem before. Tengen then walked up to the man grabbed him by his clothes, picked him up, and slammed him down on the dirt. And I could swear that Tengen might have broken something. Despite the shock of what just happened, I was still in tears from being overwhelmed and bullied. Hina, Makio, and Suma tried to calm me down by it was like their words were muffled. I heard a few "It's not your fault," "That man is ugly Y/n, don't listen to ugly people like him," and "You're gonna be okay." All of it fell on deaf ears and I felt like this hell was never going to end. Tengen then joined and instead of talking to me, he picked me up and using his speed, began running with me in his arms. Not even a few minutes later we were at our home. I quickly jumped out of his arms and ran to my safe space: my room.

I made a beeline not even stopping when I heard him calling out my name. I needed to be somewhere familair and I needed to be alone. I took off my shoes and jumped in my bed covering myself with my blanked as I curled into a tight ball. I then covered my ears and cried into my pillow trying to make all the world go away. After a few minutes, I heard the soft knocking on my door and a few voices asking if I was okay. I couldn't speak, I couldn't do anything excpet cry and wish that the world would stop for one second just so I could breathe. The voices died down after a few minutes and I assumed that my lovers gave up trying to persuade me to talk to them. I appreciated that and I think they picked up the fact that the only thing I needed now was to just be alone.

A few hours later...

Opening my eyes and opening the covers, I was met with a sun kissed room and a plate of my favorite food and drink next to my bed. God I felt so awful, not just because I felt physically bad, but because it just dawned on me that I caused a pretty big scene in a public place. And that's something that I've never done before. I felt so heavy with guilt that I wanted to cry all over again, but what good would that do? All I feel like I do is cry. Shit, I just realized that I need to start on dinner. Do they hate me now? Are they angry with me? Did I embaress them? I really don't know right now and there was no use in overthinking as my brain simply couldn't handle all of that right now. So, I did the only thing that I felt was right in that moment. I looked at the plate and began eating the food that was placed out for me. I then got up and refreshed myself and decided that it was best that I try to make it up to them. I don't make a really big meal often, but I decided that it was only right considering all they have had to go through these past few days and honestky since they've met me.

I walked into the kitchen fully prepeared to be met with the stares or constant questions of my lovers. However, It was empty and another note was placed stating that they were called for a mini mission and would be back a little past dinner time. Honestly, I was relievd that they weren't here so that I could surprise them all with their favorite foods. I mean it's only fair considering they took the time to prepare mine. So, I grabbed all of the necessary ingrediengts to make each main dish, side dish, and dessert that they each love. Meaning that I was going to make a shit ton of food, but it would be worth it just for them.

Finally, after a few hours of cooking I was finally done with the meal. I was lucky that my loves hadn't come home yet so that I could set the table too. I quickly ran to the storage room grabbing the spare table so that they could eat in the backyard and enjoy the fresh air. Soon enough, the table was set and the food was placed as neatly as possible. I stood back for a moment and admired my work. I then felt arms wrap around my waist. I yelped in surprise, quickly turning around only to be met with the sweet faces of Makio who quickly hugged me more and I returned it without question. Suma, Hina, and Tengen were also there smiling.

"Damn Y/n, you made whole feast!" Tengen spoke walking towords the table.

"Yeah, please all of you feel free to sit down. I made your favorites." You told all of them as the rest made their way to the table.

"Wow, this is amazing Y/n dear! What's the occasion?" Hina asked as she sat in her seat.

"Well, I just wanted to apologize, but i really wanted to do something your you guys too. Honestly, these last few days have been really hard on me and especially you guys." I spoke

"Y/n, we love you and are you for you." Suma proclaimed with slight ears forming in her beutiful eyes.

"I love you guys too. I just really feel like i have been burdening you guys. I mean look what happened today and yesterday as well as throughout our relationship together. I'm still a lot even though I have gotten better over the years. The harsh words of my parents still haunt me and I'm so sorry for that." I spoke as very thick tears streamed down my face and I menatlly cureed myself for crying again. I huggged myself crying harder now and feeling so gilty for the behavoirs that I've shown recently. Strong arms wrapped sorund my body and I knew exactly who was there.

"Oh my dear, y/n you've never been a burden my love." Tengen spoke softly as I wrapped my arms around him tightly sobbing into his chest. "You are so lovely and so sweet. No one as wonderful as you could ever be a burden. Y/n you came from a shit situation and it was you that left that. You're so incredibly strong and flashy at that. I love you, we all do because you're honestly one of the strongest people I've ever had the pleasure of meeting." Tengen said hugging me tighter. I was still crying, but this time my tears were replaced with happy tears. "Now come on and let's eat." He said in normal tone looking at me with that flashy smile he always has.

"Yeah, lets do that. Only problem is I only made food for you guys, so I'll just sit and drink some tea." I told him a little embressed that I didn't think to make food for myself too. I looked at my wives and they just smiled at me.

"Well, I guess you'll just have to share with me then, love." Tengen suggested as he grabbed my handas we made our way to the table.

"You can have some of mine too!" Suma interjected

"Me too. Y/n there is plenty to share! Thank you for making all of our favorites!" Hina spoke as she began fixing a plate.

"Yeah! I don't mind sharing too!" Makio agreed as she started making a plate too.

"You guys are so sweet!" I exclaimed sitting down in between tengen and Hina. As soon as I sat down she placed a plate of food in front of me and I thanked her for her kindness as she put her hand on my shoulder as I looked up at her.

"Y/n I just wanted to say that Tengen is right, you could never be a burden to us. We all love you and respect you so much. If you ever need any of us, we will be here for you always. I really hope you know that you can rely on us." Hina reassured as she moved he hand to my face stroking my cheek softly before turning away to start making her own plate.

"I agree with Hina Y/n. If you ever need me please don't hesitate to come to me. I'll do my best to be there for you." Makio told me as she too placed food on my plate.

"Yeah, me too Y/n. I love you!" Suma spoke too with a mouth full of food.

"Hey, don't eat yet you dummy." Makio snapped pinching Suma's ear

"Makio, that's mean!" Suma whined softly. I began laughing slightly at their antics. They are so predictable, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Makio be nice, please." Hina asked sweetly

"Fine." Makio cutely pouted

"Alright girls, lets eat before this good food gets cold." Tengen said as we all nodded in agreement.

We all began eating but not before giving thanks. It was a wonderful evening and I felt so lucky that I was blessed enough to be around such good people. They would never hurt me and I knew that part of me will always feel bad for mistaking them for bad people, but another part of knew knew that they would never resent me for that. That thought gave me so much comfort and more than anything I knew that I would be safe as long as I had them by my side.

Thank you so much for reading and thank you to whoever requested this fic! Sorry it took me so long to complete this. 💜

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•I do NOT own any characters expect y/n and any original characters•

L.W.L

[ynscrazylife]

Us against the World

Summary: It’s one of those days where everything feels utterly hopeless. Joel reminds you that you’re not alone.

Disclaimer: Set post-outbreak, before the show starts.

Warnings: Talk of depression, hopelessness, reference to suicidal talk but not explicit

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PSA: Do NOT copy, steal, translate, plagiarize, republish, etc any of my works on Tumblr or any other platform. Also, do NOT claim any of my works as your own. All of these works are either requests I’ve gotten that people have wanted me to write or original ideas I’ve had for works. If you happen to take inspiration from anything I’ve written and want to write something inspired by that, please a) ask me first and b) IF I say yes, credit me as inspo in your post by tagging me and link whatever work of mine that inspired you. Thanks.

Safe-house. Safe-house. Safe-house.

You repeat those words like a chant, a mantra, in your head as you keep on forcing your feet along the dirt and pebble-filled path. A couple days ago, you and Joe had found a miraculously abandoned building that seemed like it used to be a Firefly safe-house. There wasn’t any electricity, but there was some water and heat. You had gone on a simple supply run only to be ambushed by FEDRA officers. Now — you were going home.

You weren’t foolish enough to think of the safe-house as home. No — you and Joel would be moving on in a few days, probably. So when you said home, you meant him. The love of your life. Your reason for living: Joel Miller himself.

You manage to smile at the thought of him and that allows you to go a little faster. When you finally look up to see the rusted door, you nearly collapse in relief right then and there.

Stumbling against the door, you have just enough strength to do the rhythmic knock that you had decided upon with Joel as your signal. Then, you simply rest, limp until he opens the door and you quite literally fall into his arms.

“Oh, shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck,” Joel mutters as he quickly reacts and tries to catch you. You can hardly support your own weight at this point and can only flail in his arms. Your legs fail you as Joel’s arms wrap around your torso — him having to essentially drag you inside until he can set you down on the wood floor as gently as possible. His heart is pounding with alarm and concern, but he tries not to let that overwhelm him. First and foremost, you have to be stable.

“Stay here,” he grunts, wasting no time in stepping over you to close the door and lock it. Once he is sure it’s secure, he turns back around, only to see you curled up on your side.

“Y/N!” He yells, dropping to his knees and pulling you close. His eyes scan you over for injuries and he doesn’t like what he finds: multiple bruises and open wounds. Your knee is bent in a way it definitely shouldn’t be and the most concerning wound is a gash reaching from your stomach all the way to your hip.

He scoops you up in his arms, trying not to worry even more at your limp-ness and the way your head just rolls against him like a rag doll. He carries you to the tattered couch and sets you down, leaving for a second to grab the med-kit which thankfully wasn’t far. It was by no means enough, but he’ll make it work. He always does.

“What the hell happened?” Joel grumbles, anger seeping through his tone — but not at you, never at you, just at this goddamned world. It would never stop finding ways to hurt the two of you, would it? He makes quick work of assessing the med kit but when you don’t answer, a glance your way made him feel like he’ll explode.

You’re barely conscious. The only indication of it is that your eyes aren’t fully closed, but not fully open either. He can still see how dazed you were, staring off into space and showing no sign that you had heard, much less understood, him.

Don’t push it, he tells himself. It takes all his will to follow his own words. He gets to work, first cleaning up the big gash. But you quickly begin to flinch and whine at how it stung and hearing that, seeing it, brings out a softer side to him that he only shows to the people that he cherishes.

“Shh, honey, shh,” he soothes. trying to continue to work but he soon realizes that it isn’t working when you begin kicking, and then cry out when it aggravates the pain in your knee. Joel sighs, the guilt raining inside him. “Baby, please.”

He knows he’ll have to hold you down somehow if you don’t stop soon. In his head, he’s willing for you to break through the pain and exhaustion that’s clouding your judgement and realize that he needs to do this. But you don’t, and honestly, he can’t blame you. He can’t imagine what happened — he doesn’t really want to. And if he can’t stomach it, how are you doing it?

You twist and turn — nearly hitting Joel. He has to almost manhandle you, pulling your legs into his lap and being mindful of your knee as he pins down your legs with one of his own over yours. You squirm. but don’t seem to have the energy to fight him. He gently keeps you against the couch with his right arm and with his left, is able to clean the wound. Then, he stitches it and finally bandages it up. When that’s finished, he turns his attention to your knee and mutters curses.

It’s definitely dislocated, which means he’ll need to set it. Taking a second to look at your face, already scrunched up as if some part of you knows what’s about to happen, he whispers, “I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” He gently pressed his hands to your knee and quickly sets it.

You quickly shoot up with a strangled yelp, tears springing to your eyes. Joel moves to sit down on the couch and pulls you into his lap, holding you and allowing you to cry and let it all out. You don’t cry often, so he knows that something’s really wrong, and it almost makes him cry but he closes his eyes and peppers you with kisses.

It takes a while, but eventually you calm down enough to be able to talk. “Joel, I can’t—I can’t—” you pause, struggling to breathe for a second. You sniffle and Joel waits patiently for you to swallow and continue. “I’m so tired of this.”

Unfortunately, Joel knows exactly what you’re talking about. The two of you have had moments like this before, you’ve had conversations about it — the moments of depression, where it all feels hopeless and pointless and you start wondering what you’re even doing. But it’s never gotten as bad or as overwhelming like this, not when one of you is injured. Joel doesn’t know what happened, but he can tell that it was all too much.

You press your head against Joel’s chest, tired. It takes a few more minutes for you to begin telling your tale. “It was those stupid FEDRA officers,” you say, venom lacing your words. Joel bites his lip — that’s what he suspected when he saw your injuries. They weren’t made by any of the infected and you didn’t usually get into fights. “They started to question me, thought I was stealing. I didn’t get the supplies, I’m so sorry.”

A fresh round of tears spill. You hide your face in Joel’s shirt. “I’m sorry,” you whimper, shaking. Joel holds you closer, pressing a kiss to your head and resting his chin on your head after.

“It’s not your fault,” he assures you. He doesn’t say he’s not mad, because that would be a lie. Once again — not mad at you. He’s mad at FEDRA, at the entire goddamned world.

You quiet down and continue. “They roughed me up real good. Even tased me. The only reason I got away is cause a couple of the infected came out of nowhere. One tackled me to the ground, FEDRA shot ‘em and I ran away while they handled the other ones. I made it all the way here but when I woke up . . . It’s all getting to be too much. It’s so much. I’m so tired of this. All the running, the hiding, the crappy food and the crappy water and the constant fear.” You begin sniffling and Joel wipes your tears, nodding.

He doesn’t say anything for a bit. At first, he doesn’t have anything to say because you’re right. It’s not fair. You shouldn’t have to live like this. No one should. And you both know it won’t stop anytime soon — it might not ever stop.

He wants to have the right words to say, but he’s just not that kind of guy. For you, though, he’ll try. He hates subjecting you to silence, but as his mind conjures up words, he tries to believe that they’re not sappy or poetry. “It’s us against the world, sweetheart,” is what he finally lands on. “And I know sometimes it doesn’t feel worth it, but I refuse to give up if I still have you. I’ll do this every day until I die just to see you smile, just to hold you and kiss you, just to hug you. You’re what keeps me going. You’re worth it.”

You take some shaky breaths, leaning into him. “You know the same goes for you, babe. It’s just—it’s so hard sometimes . . .” You trail off.

He nods. He knows. “I can’t believe I’m the one saying this — but you gotta have some hope. That we’ll survive and we’ll be happy and the Fireflies will kick FEDRA’s ass and someday, we’ll start to rebuild things. We’ll be apart of history. There will be a future,” he says.

You sigh. It’s a long sigh. “You know as well as I do that there’s a pretty good chance that stuff will never happen,” you point out, tone dull. Any other day, you’d be the one telling Joel all the things he’s telling you but it’s too much right now.

That breaks Joel’s heart. It’s like the two of you have completely switched roles. He’s not good at expressing it, but he needs you. He loves you.

“I love you.”

“I know,” you say softly.

“No, I don’t think you do. I love you. So much. More than anything in the world. I know you know but you gotta really know, let your brain fully get it. I love you.”

You blink, truly thinking about it. Remembering your times with him. How he makes you smile and laugh and forget about all the chaos around. It’s enough to give you a little hope. His love is enough. To convince you that you guys can do this. And you can be happy, too. Together.

“And we’ve known that things are shit for years now and you haven’t stopped. Even before you had me and I had you, you did it. You survived. So you’re not gonna stop now. I know you’re not saying fuck it all or anything, I know you need to get it out — so do it, cry. I’ll hold you. But I want you to know that I’m not giving up on you. I’m not giving up on anything while I have you,” Joel continues, letting his heart pour out for once.

You sit up and twist around in his arms, heart thumping wildly in your chest. “You’re not just saying this to make me feel better?” You asked, hoping and praying that that wasn’t the case.

He stares into your eyes, cupping your face in his hands. “No, darling. I really fucking love you and you know what, now’s as good as time as any to remind you of that,” he said. He has trouble saying it as often as he wants to, but he’s saying it now. He’ll say it everyday.

A grin breaks out on your face. He’s right — it doesn’t make everything better. But it’s a start. And it definitely made you listen. His words seep into your skin, start to heal your invisible wounds. He’s right. He’s got you and you’ve got him. It’s the two of you against the world, and that’s enough. “I really fucking love you, too,” you say, and with that you’re leaning in to kiss him.

The kiss is sweet and calm, but the passion is there. When you pull apart, you’re leaning into his chest, your eyes starting to droop. Joel looks down at you and laughs. “You’re really cute, honey, you know that?” He teases.

“Stop,” you whine, lightly hitting his chest which only makes him laugh more. You and he are well aware of how much he loves to tease you and see you blush, which he is convinced is adorable.

“Aww, that’s too much for you?” He teases even more. He can’t help it.

You groan and shut your eyes, which makes him shift you a little bit. “C’mon, let’s go take a shower,” Joel says, swinging his legs down.

You groan again. “I can’t even stand, J,” you remind him with a small huff annoyance that yes, Joel finds so cute (sometimes he starts small arguments just to see you get a little frustrated).

“I’ll help you,” he says. Before you can answer, he’s lifting you up with the gentlest touch he’s used in decades. You let him, because you know you need it. He tucks your legs around his waist and your arms loop around his neck.

Joel carries you to the bathroom and sets you down on the counter. He turns on the shower, getting it to the best temperature he can before helping you out of your clothes and changing into just a pair of shorts himself. Joel picks you up again, helping you into the shower. You let out a breath as the warm water hits you, Joel allowing you to lean against him and get the weight off your leg that has the dislocated knee.

After simply standing in the water for a few minutes and holding each other, Joel props you up against the wall. He grabs some soap but you let out a whine. “I can do it myself,” you mumble, reaching out your arm limply for the soap.

Joel can’t help but let out a small chuckle. You’re half asleep as it is and he honestly thinks that it’s adorable that you’re still trying to be independent. “Let me help you. I want to,” he says.

You pout at him, but ultimately give in with a nod. You have to admit, you like when he takes care of you, and you have a feeling he knows that, too. Joel helps you wash yourself and then washes your hair for you. At the feeling of his fingers in your hair, that nearly sent you to sleep. By the time he was done, you were leaning heavily against him, Joel supporting your weight.

He sets you down on the floor of the shower while he steps away to turn off the water. Then, he ties a towel around himself before grabbing one and wrapping it around you. As he helps you stand up, you can’t help but wonder what life would be like with Joel before the outbreak. What life would be like while things are normal. Perhaps this was a little glimpse into that alternate world. A peek.

Joel’s arm is wrapped around you as he leads you into the bedroom, helping you into bed. You roll over, intent on just falling asleep, but Joel returns a moment later. You must’ve dozed off for a bit, because now he’s dressed and holding out some clothes for you. You go to whine at not being allowed to sleep yet, but stop when you spot that Joel brought you his clothes. He wears a knowing smirk when you shut your mouth.

Joel helps you put the clothes on and then climbs into bed beside you. He pulls you close to him and you smile, liking that he’s initiating it. The bed isn’t too comfortable but it’s okay, because you’d rather be in his arms. You’re not quite sure when you fall asleep but when Joel sees that you have, his smile just grows bigger. He kisses your forehead and runs his fingers through your hair, watching over you until he falls asleep, too.

And just like that, things feel like they’re getting a little better.

[hufflepuffsthunderdome]

Chipped Nails

Pairing: Dude Ranch Era!Tom Delonge x Fem!Reader

A/N: I’ve never written for a real person before and now just characters so it was definitely new! Please lmk if you think I wrote Tom badly - other fics I’ve seen write their whole personality as ‘haha 2000s skater boy make sex joke’ which I get but I don’t love. Like they’re real people even with their childishness. I have a part two coming to this and more blink stuff!

Summary: Y/N won’t let Tom go out with his nail polish chipped while Tom struggles to keep his feelings under wraps!

Tom could hear the sound of the hairdryer going in Y/N’s room, catching a glimpse of her shadow moving around through the crack in the door. He laid on her bed, throwing a ball up and down in the air as he waited for his friend to get ready.

“The guys will be here soon you know?” he whined, kicking his feet off the end of the bed as he threw the ball higher, almost dropping it on his face when he looked up at the sound of the door opening.

“Would you stop complaining,” Y/N laughed at her friend, as she made her way to her vanity to do her makeup, dumping her products on the table and sitting down, “I’ve literally taken 5 seconds.”

“Ugh that’s too long,” Tom cries out exasperated, waving one hand around as the other keeps throwing the ball higher and higher each time.

“Damn remind me never to sleep with you then,” she laughs, turning around to look at Tom who’s face has gone bright red at his friend mentioning sleeping with him. Regardless of the thick layer of sarcasm Tom can’t help the flustered feeling that seeps into his chest at the mere mention of sex coming from Y/N. The butterflies that start to spasm in his stomach are by no means a new development in their friendship, they’ve been happening for years now, seeming to get both more intense as more impossible to act on as the years go on.

It’s been like this for as long as they’ve known each other, Tom’s been infatuated with Y/N since he first saw her, but as he found himself getting to know her more and becoming closer friends, he found himself completely lost as to how to get those feelings out of him.

Mark talked him out of his depressive rambles of how deep in the friend zone a while ago, but even as his 18-year-old angst passes for his slightly less cliché 21-year-old angst, he just can’t bring himself to say anything.

As he finds his mind wandering he brings his hand up subconsciously and starts twisting his lip piercing around, too in his own head to notice Y/N’s dreamy gaze locked on his face until he puts his hand up and she gags.

“Ew Tom,” she sits down on the bed in front of him and grabs his hand, “your nail polish is gross!”

Tom pulls his hand away in a vain attempt to dampen the heat he feels rushing to his cheeks again, “dude what the fuck? They look fine.”

“They’re chipped as fuck,” Y/N laughs, taking his hand again gently, “how do you plan on getting the girls with chipped nails Tommy?” She scolds playfully, eyebrow raised.

“The girls don’t care what they look like,” Tom smirks as he holds his hand up and wiggles his fingers, “just how they feel.”

She lets out a noise of shock, pushing his shoulder as he flops back onto the bed, “that’s gross! You kiss your mother with that mouth do you?”

He leans up on his arm to look at her, shaking his head, “nah, just yours.”

“Wow Tom. Such a charmer you are, remind me again why you don’t have a girlfriend” she rolls her eyes smiling at him, grabbing his arm to pull him back up again and closer to her, “come on then gimme your hand.”

She leans over to her vanity and grabs a bottle of black nail polish, opening it and placing the bottle in one of Tom’s hand as she holds the other. As she begins to paint his nails Tom stares in awe at his friend. His heart races at the feeling of her hand in his, soft and small compared to his large, calloused hand, his skin tingles where her fingers are each time she pulls away to move his hand slightly.

She looks so beautiful like this, hair falling in front of her face as she leans over slightly to look down at his hands; he imagines pushing it back behind her ear, letting his hand linger on her cheek as he leans in to kiss her. She’s got the prettiest lips, painted in lipstick that he so badly wants to let her leave all over his everywhere.

He’s got it bad, he knows that, but for the first time since they’ve met he wants to do something about it. Feeling bold, he moves his hand to hold hers, making her stop and look up at him through her hair.

He goes to say something but can’t, nothing charming or smooth or even stupid is coming to mind as he stares blankly at her lips. He feels her hand squeeze down on his gently as her eyes flutter closed almost in slow-motion, and together they’re leaning in.

“HEY HO! LETS GO!” violently shakes the pair from their moment as Y/N gets up startled and fumbles around on the bed to find her phone where the ringtone is blasting from, hands shaking as she tries to act casually.

“Hey hoe,” Mark’s voice sounds at the other end of the phone, Y/N barely hearing it over the sound of her heartbeat in her ears, “what the fuck are you guys doing? We’ve been calling you both for ages.”

“Ya’ll really have a warped perception of ages,” she mumbles bending down to put on her shoes as she puts the phone on speaker, “we were just getting ready.”

“Y/N was just doing my nails,” Tom yells as he grabs his jacket and quickly walks towards the door, “can’t be jacking you off without a fresh mani can I?”

[mqsi]

hii first of all i love ur writing it’s literally so good . second i wanted to request an angst/mentions of smut where pedri is with y/n but in a friends with benefits type of way and she finally confesses she loves him but she soon finds out he doesn’t feel the same. tysm <3333

thank you so much, it means a lot!🫶🏻I honestly surprised myself with this one, made it pretty depressing and definietly not how I imagine Pedri to be but of well it’s all fiction anyways. Hope you enjoy it.

warning: pedri being an asshole

_______________________________________________

Wednesday,5pm

When are you free this week?

You looked at your phone while finishing some work stuff. It was Pedri, which made you smile.

Friday,my house or yours?

I’ll come over at 9

You didn’t reply but smiled at the thought of Pedri’s lips on your body.

Friday 9:15pm

You heard the doorbell ring and practically jumped to open it. It was raining outside so you let Pedri in quickly, closing the door behind you. He stepped closer to you, pulling a strand of hair behind your ear. You looked him in the eyes,eyes you fell in love with. You were hoping tonight he tells you he fell in love with yours.

“I missed you” he said

I missed your body

“I missed you too” you replied

I missed talking to you

You put your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss. He grabbed your waist, leading you back to your bedroom. Pedri pushed you down, hovering over you. His hands were quick to remove your shirt, leaving you exposed to him.

“Pedri” you said softly, tugging on his shirt as well. He took it off, positioning his body lower and taking your shorts off in the process. Pushing your panties aside he was met with your wetness and his mouth curved into a smile, knowing he bearly touched you.

He began circling your clit with his fingers, leaning in to kiss you. Your breathing accelarated, you were soon on the verge of an orgasm, the cursed words leaving your mouth.

“Fuck I love you”

His hand pulled away in seconds making you open your eyes to look at him.

“Why did you-“

“What did you just say?” he asked, his gaze piercing trough you.

“I didn’t mean to sat that Pedri but-“

“Is it true tho?” He cut you off again “Have you fallen in love with me?”

Your silence was enough of an answer for him. He got up, pulling his shirt on,looking at you, almost like he was sorry.

“I have to leave,forget about everything. It can’t work like this” he said before disappearing out of the room. The front door slammed shut.

Friday 10:23pm

You were left there in silence, almost fully naked, hugging the white sheets on your bed. Rain was thumping against the window but the only thing you could hear were Pedri’s words echoing in your head.

——————————————————————————

a/n: I was listening to kissland by the weeknd (slowed) while writing this

[xxxregulusblackxxx]

Okay, here's my full rant on The Sun and The Star. It's contains spoilers so keep scrolling if you don't want those

I absolutely love it, it's cute, it's Sad, it's angsty, the fluffy and your scared for what's going to happen to the character. Dionysus is like a Therapist and older brother figure to Nico which I'm just loving, he admits Nico and Will are his favorite demigods, we get more Chiron which I love, we get mentions of the Trials of Apollo, we get to see Nico's grief over Jason, Piper and Nico have a talk about it and their sexualities! We get Will's POV and he's scared and self-conscious. He thinks he's not enough for Nico which is so sad but also reflected with Nico thinking he's not enough for Will and still trying to push him away suddely but they both are so deeply in love that they CONSTANTLY remind each other that they're there for each other and I mean constantly! Like 5 times per chapter once in Tartarus. We get a to see Solangelo going to PercyBeth for advice we get MORE SALLY CONTENT! We get to see how Nico got captured and put in the Jar. We get to see Will and Nico's first kiss, and how they got together and all these snippets of their relationship as they tell this other character about it. We get SMALL BOB BACK! WE GET BOB BACK! He calls Solangelo his Sun and star! It's so cute. Nyx is the villain which I kinda love. We get to see all these dreams and flashbacks of Nico's trauma, we get more banter between Will and Nico and it's so cute. NICO GAVE WILL HIS SKELETON RING! ON MY GODS WILL WEARS IT ON A NECKLACE! WILL GAVE NICO THIS COIN THAT'S SPECIAL TO HIM! THEY TRADED KEEPSAKES!! Nico quite literally gets his personal demons made into these tiny black fluffy ball demons that he and Will named coco puffs and they follow him everywhere but no longer remind him of like all his trauma, because he accepted it all and is starting to cope. The story's about self acceptance and that you can change and chose your own path and make your own choices and not have to be who everyone thinks or wants you to be and I think it's a beautiful message.

NOW! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN THEY'RE ACTING OUT OF CHARACTER?! This is a canon novel, anything Rick writes in this universe IS CANON AND THEIR CHARACTER! Just because Will's not all confident and self assured doesn't mean he's not Will. You just made a different versions of him in your head and are mad about it, same with Nico. Y'all make him this sad emo twink who can't do anything for himself and needs saving. He's a fucking powerhouse, he's strong and confident and can protect himself and not some week baby. Stop fetishising him and look at his canon character. "He's more happy and talkative" YEAH BECAUSE FROM TBTL THROUGH HOO AND A BIT OF TOA HE WAS ACTING PURELY IN FIGHT OR FLIGHT MODE AND TRAUMA RESPONSES! He was this super happy kid extraverted and he's coming into a more mature version of that as he copes and processes his trauma. I'm so sick of people making him depressed and suicidal, he's snarky and sarcastic and self confident, he's coming into himself and is actually happy with that, he's recovering from an eating disorder too which we see that the end and he's happy about it. He likes himself and is happy which is such a wonderful thing for a character like him. It shows me and other fans, and even younger fans that you can overcome your trauma and it's not something to be fixed but to deal with and after all of the trauma and everything you've been through, you can be happy and love yourself, you can be gay, pan, bi, queer literally whatever and be happy and love yourself and I think that's such a good message and I'm so happy Rick made him that way because it shows everyone especially his younger audience and new fans that you're lovable.

Either way that's my rant, if you don't agree with me I'll gladly argue with you and will pull up quotes and WIN. Or you can scroll. If you do agree with me, hi welcome to my page, I'm pleased to meet you I'd be happy to talk

[terrence-silver]

What if John disapproved of beloved? Would Terry go as far as leaving them, Is he more loyal to him than to beloved?

---

Okay, I mean, to answer this, we got to research the supposed thirty something years of weird stalemate and absence John Kreese had in Terry's life and how Terry said, to quote, 'It's the best thing that's ever happened to him', which sounds like something someone embittered who had his heart broken by a close friend would more or less say anyway in the vein of 'You left!? Well, guess what!? It did me a world of good!' even though they're still hurting and reeling and probably will for the rest of their lives. Even their world actually collapsed when it happened.

I actually believe Terry Silver has a limit in patience. Perhaps not in devotion.

But, in patience? Yes.

Terry literally had the Cobra tattoo removed from his rib at some point or other and left a scarred maw behind because, well, yeah, if there's a brotherhood of two and one of the brothers leaves, there's no more brotherhood.

He's not a dog that can exactly be kicked without consequences.

You do it once and you wind up in jail under false charges, as witnessed with Kreese's case.

😬

I think his limit comes about when he tries everything --- and I do mean everything --- and nothing he throws at the wall for a person sticks or makes them happy. Truly content. Like in the case of John, Terry tortured a teenager for him, bribed referees, procured a champion, trained said champion, meanwhile, sent his depressed friend on a vacation, bought revenue locations for him all over town, offered him jobs time and time again, tried to bankroll his entire existence and ultimately, John still disappeared on him ---- or rather, made it clear he didn't want to be found. I think the fact Terry attempted so much and went truly and above and beyond for a friend only to still have that friend turn his back on him led to such a huge psychical shift and even breakdown for him that it shook Terry's existence and for a while, it is safe to say he indeed left John be for ages even though I'm convinced a man of his means undoubtedly knew exactly where the guy was; which means...Terry has the capacity to be loyal to himself and let the situation germinate untouched under extreme measures, and do so for thirty years. Ironically...it is still a form of devotion. If Johnny said, leave me be for the rest of my life, Terry could very well do it because it's anything Johnny says, always, for the rest of his life --- but I digress.

Point is; Terry Silver has limits.

Which means...if John didn't approve of beloved...and if it went to some really excessive measures where beloved's very existence could endanger their friendship, Terry Silver might just break away...but only ever if he himself considered beloved worthy enough for it. Very important to note.

He won't do this for just anyone. If for anyone.

Because I think Terry's self aware; like, don't figure he's gonna mess up half a lifetime of knowing John Kreese over someone he's randomly fucking or someone who's company he's effectively sponsoring, for example --- if John said he didn't like someone who has temporary written all over them, Terry could be very easily influenced by his Captain to leave such a person --- I mean, he very clearly leaves Cheyenne without a word and nobody can tell me it's, among others, not because it was blatantly obvious John didn't like her. So happened Terry internally agreed, cut his losses and moved on because he just about knew this would be the result of the relationship sooner than later anyway. You don't invest your stocks into a sinking ship; it's just basic business and Terry Silver's a businessman, first and foremost.

What if his relationship wasn't a sinking ship?

What if it was sturdy? Durable? Meant to last?

I think Terry would be heartbroken he has to do this, that he has to choose, that his hand is pushed like this, but he and John would have a huge fallout and it wouldn't be easy. It would be messy. Unhinged. Volatile. It would just about be the hardest decision Terry probably had to make where his connection to someone is concerned; he'd feel controlled. Ripped out of his own roots. Forced to choose. Lacking choices and authority, which he'd undoubtedly despise. He'd feel cornered --- and when a beast is cornered, it bites. It would leave behind this huge, gaping wound behind and Terry would try time and time again to make it work, but ultimately, if it didn't, he'd let John go and that would possibly just shatter his mind for a long while because here he was, attached at the hip with John since they were effectively boys in uniform and they were meant to die for each other, if need be, and here John was, leaving over something as offensive as Terry finding true love. John had his shot fair and square, Terry would be convinced --- with Betsy and Terry was happy for him when it happened ages ago, and now, when the opposite is true, John can't be happy for him!?

Terry Silver would be crestfallen and the distancing that takes place between him and John after this is probably the most sordid, complicated, layered and harrowing instance of two old friends falling apart imaginable to the degree if he ever had children with beloved he'd STILL downright name at least one of them John in spite of everything that happened because if the original had to be cut loose, Terry will create a new one literally out of his own flesh and blood mingled with beloved's and raise one that'll be so much a part of him he'll never leave or be able to because that's his child. His legacy. He'll have the upper hand this time. He'll ensure everything's under control. Everything will be as Terry Silver imagined it.

He'll have his own John. He'll fix the course of history this time around.

He'll have a second shot.

Terry's patience has a limit...but his devotion does not.

How's that for meta?

[burnt-scone]

Oh no, seeing the traumatized and injured people of Gaza makes you uncomfy?

We can't have almost 60, if not more, family trees being wiped from existence, making you uncomfortable. No, we can't have that. Those bloodlines, generations burned off the face of the planet, how rude of of people lifting their voices, because you feel bad.

Here, let me fluff your pillows in your nice, warm, and safe bed. Do you need a snack, a glass of clean water. Poor you. You must be so uncomfortable hearing about all those people who are now the last person in their family, the last person who lived on their block. The children, all alone, hurt and scared. They understand horrors you couldn't even handle the sight of through a screen. Must be so upsetting to look that 6 year old in the eye as all he wants is his mommy and daddy back.

Poor fucking you. I hope you're uncomfortable. That's a good thing. That's that crumb of empathy deep down in your empty soul. It hurts for the people in Gaza even though you don't want to because you ride the dicks of propaganda. You fear picking up a fucking history book.

And no, it's not antisemitic to be against a corrupt government funded by other historically corrupt governments. It's not antisemitic to be against Genocides. Stop trying to weaponize morality.

"Oh, (Palestinians) are everything anti-(Jews/Israel), we should get rid of them. They're not even human. In the name of G/d, we should eradicate them. They brought it on themselves."

Now, isn't that argument familiar? Replace "Palestinians" with "Jew" and "Jews/Israel" with Germany or literally Europe. That was the argument Hitler made. He convinced Germany and the church to start the Holocaust. He claimed Jewish people were corrupting Germany and the Christian way of life. They were causing the stock market to crash, and they caused the Great Depression.

Obviously, that was wrong. It was obviously excuses to commit ethnic cleansing and Genocide. And that's what's happening now in Palestine.

Hamas is not in the West Bank, which is fact, but that isn't stopping Israel from murdering thousands. Every heinous air strike on a school or hospital that try and say "Oh their were like 5 members of Hamas on the roof."

Bullshit. You don't need an airstrike on a few guys on the roof of a hospital. Especially if you aimed for the lower levels of the building.

I am Jewish, and I am not antisemitic. I do not see this as a Judaism vs. Islam situation. This is a corrupt power-hungry colonies government vs. innocent people.

We were not supposed to even be settled there yet. No messiah = no return to Jerusalem. This is just a fight over power and land, and I'm tired of the excuses being "Jews," "Judaism," "Jerusalem," "Judea," "Antisemitic," etc... because that's a stupid and horrible excuse.

How often throughout history has religion and culture been the excuse to try and kill us, to keep us in ghettos, to make us carry identification to show we are Jewish. Do you not realize Israel turned around and did the same thing to Palestinians? Before and after WW1, Jewish people lived peacefully in Palestine alongside Islamic peoples and Christian peoples. During WW2, Palestine protected Jewish people. But then, after everything England and the Israeli Colony pushed 20,000 Palestinian peoples into a tiny space (basically a fucking Ghetto) and to enter Israel they have to carry papers and Identification to show they are Palestinians.

I don't understand how people don't see the sad irony in all of this. It's heartbreaking. And I'm so tired of excuses.

Those children didn't provoke anything, it is Palestinian's home, it was colonization, and it's not religious or civilians' fault. It is those in power, it's those with too much power, too many funds, and too many weapons.

Free Palestine, free the children before there are none.

[angelsanarchy]

Glass Houses: Jack Thurlow x Y/N Series CH 11 -> CH 12

"Are you knocking over a pharmacy?”

“Medication alternatives.”

Tagging: @roryculkinluvr @thatsthewrongwallcraig @icarus-star @cc-luvr @madamemaximoff06 @shady-the-simp @quicksilversg1rl @s-0lar @kristennero-wallacewellsver @ophelialaufey @mayathepsychic1999

Jack made sure to get up at a decent hour so he could shower and give Ace an impromptu bath. Nothing special, just a quick rinse and fluff. Jack wouldn't exactly say he was trying to earn some brownie points but he hoped that if he returned Ace in top condition, maybe Y/n would bring him by more often to stay.

Jack was sitting on a lawn chair in the backyard tossing the ball to Ace when Y/n came around the corner, sunglasses pushed up to hold her hair back.

"Well look at you two, looking especially fluffy." Y/n handed Jack his coffee and took the seat across from him.

"I gave him a quick rinse this morning." Jack nodded as Ace jumped up on the seat giving Y/n kisses.

"Ah yes, thank you for washing the stench of your lust from my dog. I'm sure my mom would appreciate that." Y/n tossed him the burrito and he kissed the aluminum it was wrapped in.

"You are my new favorite neighbor. Have I told you that?" Jack complimented.

"Considering you don't talk to literally any other neighbors, I will accept that begrudgingly." Y/n reached in the bag and pulled out her own breakfast burrito so they both could eat.

"Oh I also brought you this." Y/n reached into her bag and pulled out a slip of paper, handing it over. Jack eyeballed it unsure of what he was reading.

"Are you knocking over a pharmacy?" Jack joked and she shook her head with a mouth full of food.

"Medication alternatives. I don't know what your exact ailments are but if they're psychological, these can absolutely help with negative side effects." Jack examined the list and noticed she had put little notes next to certain medications.

"Wow this is...extensive. You must think I'm really fucked up." Jack tried to play it off as a joke but she shrugged.

"The whole world is mentally ill, Jack. The only truly sane people are the ones smart enough to realize they need the help. There's nothing wrong with that." She took another bite of her burrito.

"I've been fucked up since I was a kid so medication has always been a part of my life. As you get older, shit changes and you've got to adjust some things." She roots around in her bag and pulls out a pill bottle.

"I've had manic depression since I was about 15 but by the time I was 18, I had asked my doctor about the longevity of the pills and he acted like a fucking prick about it. Who was I to question his methods as an actual doctor. The bastard took me off the meds cold turkey and I spiraled. It was fucking hell." Y/n had no hesitation explaining her medical history.

"After I changed doctors, I had to start taking medication for an extreme anxiety disorder that was caused by the bullshit he put my body through, which in turn completely shut off all sexual desires until I was at least 21." Jack's attention piqued.

"You had zero sexual desires going into your 20's? I feel like I fucked more at 20 than I have in my whole life." Jack commented.

"It just wasn't there. I would watch porn, read it, try different kink scenes and nothing even got me remotely turned on. Plus the anxiety meds dried my pussy out to an insanely uncomfortable level. It was like sandpaper just trying to masturbate." Jack winced.

"Jesus...what did you do?" He was enthralled now. She was so open with him and it felt good to be able to talk to someone who experienced some shitty medication side effects. He felt less alone in the struggle.

"After being sexless for almost 6 years, I finally said enough. Told my doctor it had to change because I was too young to not get off and I was tired of feeling like my cunt was a wasteland for tumbleweeds." Jack almost spit his coffee from a chuckle.

"Slight medication adjustment and you'll be happy to know I broke the sexless streak and have never been wetter." She held up her coffee cup and Jack clinked his cup to hers.

"Well I'm happy that you've regained a wet pussy and all the sex a nurse has the time for." Jack smirked and she tossed a hash brown at him.

"No pressure obviously. I just think it's stupid to put yourself through bullshit for no reason. We have mental illness but they don't have us. Fuck those stupid chemical imbalanced bullshit. Take back your life, man." Y/n continued to encourage and Jack nodded.

"I really appreciate this. Thank you. You didn't have to do all this but I really do feel like I might be able to use it." Jack tucked the paper into his pocket and Y/n nodded feeling accomplished.

"I will not only commend you on the strides of being able to finally jerk off but to be able to multitask while doing so is pretty impressive." Y/n continued to pick at her food and Jack pinned his eyebrows together confused.

"Multitask? It's pretty simple: point and shoot." Jack chuckled.

"No I meant jerking off while smoking. I would probably set my bed a blaze." She teased making crimson creep up Jack's neck.

"You...how did-"

"Smoke rises sweetheart. The window was open and you weren't exactly being a church mouse." Y/n crumpled her trash and threw it into the brown bag. Jack covered his face with his hands and wanted to silently melt into the chair.

"You're welcome by the way for the free show. I was going to buy you a new ashtray but since you said you were able to cum, I feel like I've completed my job on that one." Y/n reached out and tugged on Jack's elbow.

"Don't be embarrassed. Next time don't be such a tease and get naked yourself." Y/n waited until Jack looked at her before smiling.

"Yeah...I'll be sure to do that...if I don't just throw myself out the window first." Jack scoffed as she got to her feet and whistled to Ace.

"Where's the fun in that?" She smirked giving him a wink.

"Enjoy your day, Thurlow." She called over her shoulder as Ace followed closely behind her. Jack watched her hips sway as she walked away, ass bouncing in light washed jeans. It was the little shake she gave that made him shake his head.

She knew he had seen her. She had seen him. She still got naked. He owes his doctor a fruit basket.

[jangofettjamz]

Where I've been... (depression sucks)

Hello, to my followers and readers I just wanna say I'm so so so terribly sorry for not informing you of my whereabouts.

I'm gonna be blunt, I've been fucking miserable over the last year. My depression has kicked in full force and I'm so annoyed that all the progress I've made to get better seems to have gone down the drain. This has been due to multitude of reasons; college has been an absolute nightmare to deal with, my I feel like I'm failing at everything I do despite the work I produce. Working on multiple I.T projects at once is literal pain.

A close friend of mine also passed away which devastated naturally. We had the same first name and has been piller in my life, encouraging me to follow my passion and navigate through a world I had no understanding of due to being so closed off. He pushed my autistic ass to do things I would've never dreamed of, and some heart condition he wasn't even aware of killed him on his sleep. Life is so fucking unfair.

Which brings me to my third reason, I miss my mom. She passed away from COVID-19 nearly three years ago, caught it while working in a COVID-19 ward as a nurse for the NHS. She always rooted for me to do what I loved and was my biggest supporter in life and it irritates me that some virus cut her life so short. I partly blame the UK gorvernment for that. As much as I love my step mom, she can never replace her. I've tried so hard to get over her death, but I just can't...

So long story short, life has gotten really really harsh and I couldn't find the motivation to post anymore, but that doesn't mean I won't post ever again. You readers are so lovely to interact with and I hope to post more content for you to enjoy in the future to come.

I wanna thank the writers who have created some amazing stories for me to read during this REALLY shitty time in my life, you guys have talent that I could only aspire to reach someday. Here's just a few examples: @void-wolfie @lesbianpepsi @ajortga @cobaltperun @kaisacobra and many other writers.

And to the people who are only just finding out about me, welcome. I hope you stick around and read some of my content.

Feel free to message me or ask me stuff, I still wanna interact with you guys even if I'm not posting.

I dunno when I'll be back, but I will be. But right now, I've gotta go to therapy. Take care you lot. ❤️

[mikuni14]

Last Twilight - Ep 12

I really gave this series a chance, I honestly sat down for this episode thinking, ok, maybe they will save this dumpster fire that was the finale of the previous ep. I really WANTED to like it.

The series went for my throat literally in the first minute 😀 After that everything was more or less torture. Almost every scene, every word felt like it was written specifically against me 😆

Let's start with a nice scene of a smiling Day saying coachy, positive bullshit suggesting that he pulled himself up by his bootstraps, and wasn't literally dragged out of the stagnation and depression by Mhok. A montage of scenes of Day thriving. All of this thanks to himself!

And then Mhok arrives, cue the romantic Halmark escalator scene and………… ……………………. ……………….. Mhok and Day slip into their old shoes, acting exactly like they did after their first kiss scene LMAOOOO they literally went back in time to this episode, Mhok flirts, Day is skittish. Everything that happened is pointless. They act like the 3 YEARS (!!!!) apart, or that horrible scene, or even the fact that Day fucking blocked Mhok didn't exist.

This whole episode killed me because it made it seem like Day was the victim of something really bad and Mhok was the bad guy, like it was all because of him, like he had done something terrible to Day. When Day asks his mother if he can give Mhok a chance because he might do "the same thing again", it sounds like Mhok was beating him or cheating on him????? Mhok thanking for the breakup????????? Mhok doing emotional labor again and winning over Day, while Day pushes him away (but not really) and is blushing and skittish and just takes the attention given to him was a literal repeat of the past and actively made me feel upset, for me it was humiliating to see Mhok like that.

And what's interesting - Mhok after his return is exactly the same, he behaves exactly the same, he is "overprotective" again. But now, Day and the plot are ok with it? 🤔

And this wedding, which somehow was about Day anyway. Like everything. (Night and Porjai in the future: remember our wedding? oh yes, that event when we took DAY to the airport and when DAY had his eye surgery? 😆)

Also, please leave the weddings, the profound speeches, the dramatic scenes, the tearjerkers, the airport runs, and the sudden phone calls about available transplants to the professionals. Soap operas do it so much better, so just… leave it. I can cry my eyes out at these scenes during Bollywood movies because they know how to do it. In Last Twilight I don't know where to hide because of embarrassment.

Day getting his sight back? I'm for it! It wasn't a miracle, just a medical procedure. Why would they deny him that? Especially since medicine could help in his case. But again, it's not about what happened, it's about HOW it happened, it's about the execution (which is also my main complaint about the scene from the previous episode). It was just melodramatic and crammed into the moment to force an emotional response from the audience. And did you notice how flat the scene when Day sees fell? "I can see!" haha, Porjai is pretty, end of the scene. Like???? The series told a certain story and from a narrative point of view, Day's regaining his sight at that moment and in such a way was artificial, so it does not give any satisfaction or joy in the fact that a blind person can see again - I was embarrassed by how cringe and saccharine this scene is. Not to mention the beginning of the episode contradicted the ending of the episode! The story must hold together, it must be coherent, the series should have a central, main idea. Last Twilight doesn't have that, it lost it 2 episodes ago, and the saccharine ending of this show was just a soap opera nail in the coffin.

tl;dr Mhok and Day are back in the past. Despite the loud speeches about development, growing and having a beautiful life despite adversities, the series made sure that the characters end it pretty much the same, in perfect circumstances, without the slightest cloud in their perfect sky 😀

The best things about this series are:

Mhok, my golden boy

Night without hesitation or making a big deal out of it, calling Porjai's baby his. I am a sucker for men who don't care whether their child is his blood. Night and Ha Do Young from The Glory, unconditionally loving their children regardless of whether they are their biological parents -> 💯💯💯

Right now, I'm not even angry, I don't even have any particular negative feelings. I just… I watched the whole episode like that:

[weebsinstash]

All the posts on the multiverse and ‘canon events’ has gotten me thinking. I love everything about the Yandere where having a relationship or family is meant to be canon. The inevitable destiny that feels like a chokehold. The peer pressure and complete lack of consideration to accompany an increasing loss of agency. But imagine if it were the opposite. The yandere looking through hundreds of different worlds and finding that they never even cross paths with you in the street. Hundreds more that where you do have a relationship, it always falls apart. The opposite of an MJ and Peter Parker. Just imagine them growing more and more unhinged as they desperately search for any justification, any way that proves their love could and should be reciprocated and have the universe consistently show that it’s not meant to be. Or worse, that you getting into a relationship at all could even constitute as an anomaly.

Honestly like, I'm almost absolutely positive Beyond The Spiderverse will "reveal the truth" because canon events as a concept is way too fucking depressing? I also feel like it's inherently making double meta commentary on, not just the whole "oh people don't want to accept miles/new mantles of a hero" but also, specifically for Spiderman, there's been a trend of trying to find new ways to make him suffer? Despite Peter Parker being literally one of the most friendly and pure hearted comic book heroes --his whole deal is literally being your friendly neighborhood Spiderman who friendly banners with his villains-- Peter has been given some absolutely AWFUL comic book fates

There have been comics where Peter has accidentally killed Mary Jane just by being in love and having sex and his radioactive seminal fluid gave her cancer. There have been comics where the world was overtaken by a zombie virus and Spiderman is running around trying to save a collapsing world from ruin, having to literally weave Mr Fantastic into his webs, literally put the stretching guy's skin in his webs, to try and stretch literal actual rotting people back together. Ironically one of the happiest comic book endings for Peter Parker is when he has to fake his suicide after society shuns him for not being a mutant and he actually stops being Spiderman and gets to live a private peaceful life of seclusion with MJ and their baby. So. His happy ending was literally only achieved by quitting being Spiderman because uh people were literally wanting to rip him apart over, essentially mutant based racism

There's this narrative that "oh with great power comes great reaponsibility" and for Spiderman it's pushing this idea that, in the scope of this movie, these heroes don't actually have a choice and truly ARE "destined" to suffer. It's like. No one wants that kind of story actually. At least not on the scale we are seeing it in this I dusty and franchise. Stories where the protagonist is being constantly spit on despite being nothing but good and doing nothing to deserve it isn't exactly uh, what the super campy hero comic books were made for? It's kinda like some grotesque mixture of writers trying to be edgy and capitalism trying to profit off of "shocking" new ideas. Superheroes are supposed to be campy and goofy and at the end of the day it's about saving the day and getting your happy ending and no one should "have to" suffer to achieve that

Like do yall see how awkward it is to see Peter B with Mayday while knowing that Mayday is absolutely already on her way to being a Spider herself with her own canon events. Like it's actually depressing. She's going to take over the mantle of Spiderman when her father gets his leg broken. Does Peter know? Does he ever think about his baby's future? Does Jessica? Are Spider people essentially being forced to have kids that they know are going to be miserable? Can you even imagine, being told "yeah you're supposed to have a child and also that kid is going to suffer just like you and no actually you don't get a choice not to have them"

Like by all means, upholding the canon is actually kind of frightening. Miguel is genuinely trying to save people's lives but some of these canon events are extremely personal things. I know it's kind of only damaging if you know beforehand but like.... wouldn't it fuck you up if you were in a happy marriage with someone who loved and accepted you and be doing your thing for years and then you join the Spider Society and you find out every version of you is with every version of your partner. I dont... know if I would actually find that romantic at all actually. I think my automatic reaction would be "wait are we made for each other? I literally never had a chance with anyone else? There's literally only one person who would ever love me? Did either of us really even have a choice?"

You go home and look at your spouse you've known for years and it's almost like your opinion of them has been permanantly changed. You're no longer looking at the other half of your heart who loves you. You're looking at the poor victim who got stuck with you. You're looking at your Canon Assigned Lover who is never going to get to experience true, actual love, because you're here. It's almost like, you still love them, but it hurts to love them now, and you're positive in your heart that, they don't ACTUALLY love you, their love isn't "true". And you leave them, straight up leaving signed divorce papers sitting on a table of a home you're never going back to. Somewhere at Spider Society HQ, there's a little light dinging or pinging or something in Miguel's face, "Canon Diverted/Canon Changed" and he's going to start physically tracking you down

I mentioned it before but I still like the idea of Reader somehow being in Miguel's Canon despite being in separate dimensions and he doesn't find this out until both of you are on really bad terms with each other, like the equivalent of not finding the search you need because you're off by a single letter or keyword, his systems miss that You are His future spouse because there's so much data it's combing through. Like, Miguel's obsessively researching all the different versions of you and he has who he thinks is supposed to be your future partner on his radar, he KNOWS basically everything about your future and is trying to nudge you towards it, pressuring you, basically breaking your heart when he and the Society kind of straight up tells you to go home and not come back until you're in a relationship, and after you basically hate his guts you have some idk a Miguel with an eyepatch emerging from the shadows with the rest of the Miguelvengers about "you're one of us, hurry, come, there's no time to explain" and there's some bullshit where this emotionally constipated ass man is told he has to apologize and woo you until one of his alternates is like "or you could just take em, that's what I did and my Canon was Just Fine"

I also like the idea of, lmao, "Miguel and Reader WERE canon but he fucked up so badly another Miguel was actually able to just come in and totally steal you and that's HIS canon and Miguel 1 is forced to watch you ride off into the sunset with basically his replacement when he was there first and loved you first"

Idk i just. I really want to break this barrier and write something 😩 its down to me not being able to decide which idea I have. I've been getting new drafts down but not finishing anything, just today I started something new for Batman/the Batfam/the JL even though we've been crooning over Miguel 😅 I just had like 5 days off in a row and I started more drafts so... I guess it's a start? Getting these drafts done is apparently NOT my canon event 😩