#and i was even like DUDE its okay i dont like him anymore JUST so she would chill out. but she DIDNT bc HE liked ME

[widevibratobitch]

moments like this when im really glad im a sad little cynic who always considers the worst possible outcome and never lets herself truly get comfortable and trust the good things in her life to stay there and builds her life around trying to soften the blows of the eventual disappointments just waiting around the corner lol never leaving my edgy teenager era peace and love

[fiendishartist2]

guys what if i want to make my own apollo justice game.

[voli-tile]

god it's SO HARD trying not to spoil myself about the patch 5 epilogue stuff i literally have to scream and scroll away once I realize what i'm seeing. I am so jealous of everyone who's gotten to it

technically i COULD go back to a save on my last playthrough that i finished and get the epilogue BUT that playthrough felt Wrong and thats why i started it Again with the Same Guy to make it Right

this game makes me so mentally ill and i love it so much (eye twitching affectionately)

[hoonietual]

let me tell u a story about how in the 5th grade, us 10/11 year olds were involved in so much drama and i was somehow at the center of it......... the entire school knew about it. it was weird as fuck.

[digitaldiseas3]

can't tell if i'm like... starting to dislike these girls because im pmsing and that's pretty typical for me to suddenly not like certain people, or if it's genuinely because they've been giving me weird fucking vibes and did smth i think was shitty :/

[dansformations]

"Man of the future"

Alan was 20 years old gay guy that turned his passion for video games into a career as a streamer. Every night, he sat in front of his computer, illuminated by the lights of his setup, and connected to play with his thousands of followers enchanted by the fact of having a popular gay and handsome streamer. That night, however, something different happened.

While chatting with his audience and viewing the comments in the chat, he noticed a message that stood out among the others.

@ yourbroski: "Try this game, 'Man of the Future'," said a donation message with a link.

@ yourbroski: "Its my game, i create It"

- You Did!? No way - Alan replied

He clicked the link, opening the Game just for being nice, the title didnt sounded like something that the girly Alan would enjoy.

Within seconds after the click, Alan found himself downloading a game he had never heard of. The title, "Man of the Future," glowed on the screen.

The game was a complicated obstacle course and shooter that quickly engrossed Alan into the digital word.

- Hey, this is indeed fun

But the fun ended quickly. When he died in the game for the first time - Which was pretty fast -, a screen appeared with the saying, "C'mon Bro, you can do better" along with an strange music, almost hipnotazing music.

- Whoa, did you guys see that? - Alan said, leaning back in his chair. - This game is savage! 'C'mon Bro, you can do better'? Challenge accepted! - he answered.

However, the second attempt didn’t go any better. When Alan died again, the message changed to, "Don’t be a noob, Bro."

Alan face reddened with frustration. "Okay, Bro," he muttered under his breath.

- No way am I letting this game call me a noob. Let's do this! - He turned to the chat, determination blazing in his eyes. -You guys with me? This game’s going down, Bros!

Took a sip of His... beer? He didnt remenber being drinking beer, he didnt even remenber enjoying beer but he was so centred on beating that game that kinda ignored It.

- OOOOOUUURRRP - he belched - dang, sorry bros - he said a bit ashamed... Just a bit. He was too centred to being ashamed.

Meanwhile the coments were going crazy.

"Whats happening With all those 'Bro'? Thats off character"

"@ yourbroski: Nothing to be ashamed! Better out than inside my Bro!"

"Are we sure this Is Alan? Lol"

He keep playing moving his fingers as fast as he could, he was doing Better and when he almost reached the wining flag - a flag decorated only With White and black lines - he got killed by another player.

- Son of a bitch! - he yelled - that motherfucker killed me at the very last BRARRRRP - belched - moment!

"Dont be a pussy" The screen said this time, as knowing he was whining.

- No way this game just called me a "pussy"! - he said ofended - Im not, and in gonna show them all - he said while opening his legs in the chair in a more relaxed position, tooking a moment to scracht his balls in front everybody before starting the new round.

In that position everybody could apreciate some strong arms and legs that people didnt knew Alan had abd Alan didnt remenber to have worked on.

"Sexy" a guy comented.

He was gay, but for some reason reading that from a guy, maked him feel angry.

- Dont be a weirdo, dude - he said

He was gay, right..?

Then started playing again, not releasing every time his character died, a part of His persona did too.

Yelling, coursing, chugging beer and burping, acting with a cocky attitude more and more, every round, less nice, less gay, less him, until...

- BROS, I-OARRRRRP -He couldnt contain a burp - I DID IT!

His character was holding that black and White flag.

"Now youre a real alpha" the tv screen said With that strange music still.

"Now youre the Man of the future"

And with that, the remains of Alan were erased, he didnt remenber being a girly gay guy anymore, he always had been an alpha, a straight, gassy, jock that loved playing videogames and humillating the noobs and "queerdos" on the games.

Alan started doing a "celebration dance" that basically was doing hip moviments to show his bulge. Like he were fucking someone.

- This Is for you, @broski - Alan put His microphone close to his ass and ripped a big, loud, smelly fart on It - i beated you - he said proud. Between laughs he added - Nah, GG bro, youre talented, definetly gonna share It with the bros.

"Whats happening with Him?!' someone comented

"@ yourbroski: That flag send the fag away"

Alan didnt even read those coments, he was busy trying to fan away the fart with his hands.

That Night the strange transformartion of the gay gamer Alan was trending everywhere, but before His friend Group had read something, they receive link to a Game from Alan.

"Alan: Best game of the month broskis"

The group of friends made up of gay guys and nice straight guys thought Alan's writing was odd, but without knowing the situation they gave more atention to the link, opening it, ready to play a life-changing game, "The man of the future."

(This is just fetish writing)

[angelicdanvers]

BREATHE DEEPER | four.

a charlie bushnell x fem!reader social media fic.

y/n

liked by iamcharliebushnell, levizmiller, dior.n.goodjohn, and others

y/n — australia’s my new fav country

tagged | levizmiller

levizmiller i’m challenging you to another round of pool tonight ↳ y/n bet

iamcharliebushnell when’d you go to australia? 😭 ↳ y/n when u didn’t show up for acai bowls >:( ↳ iamcharliebushnell im sowwy ↳ y/n DONT YOU DARE ↳ iamcharliebushnell okok sorry but thought you'd be in london ↳ y/n soon, yeah :')

levizmiller y/n im gonna poke you ↳ y/n okayy hi ↳ levizmiller let’s get boba ↳ y/n YES

dior.n.goodjohn I MISS U COME BACK TO ME ↳ y/n once my australian chronicles are over i promise i will <3 ↳ dior.n.goodjohn WOOOO

walker.scobell youre pretty! ↳ y/n thanks lil dude!

i.am.andrewalvarez AUSSIEEE ↳ y/n THE SWEET ESCAPE FR

aryansimhadri DID YOU SEE KANGAROOS ↳ y/n NO NOT YET THOUGH I HOPE I DO

dailymail Y/n and Levi? ;)

user omg bf reveal happening??

user2 ive never held my breath this much

“GALILEO’S GALS” — 5 notifications!

chanel’s enemy Y/N

lee lee Y/N

dr dre why am i in this gc

chanel’s enemy because u are

lee lee we’re getting off topic Y/NNN CMERE

↳ hiiiii?

chanel’s enemy HIIII HRU ILY

↳ ILY TOO BAE IM GOOD WBU

chanel’s enemy WE GOOD WE HAVE SOME ?’s THO

↳ oh?

lee lee ARE YOU AND LEVI DATING

dr dre OHH THIS MAKES SENSE YEAH ARE YOU??

↳ nooooo

chanel’s enemy that’s a very interesting no

↳ we’re not but idk

chanel’s enemy what

lee lee girl wdym

↳ we’re not dating but i think he likes me? idk

dr dre do you like him back though???

↳ eh he’s very sweet but i’ve always seen him as a best friend, i don’t think we could be more

lee lee do you want to be more??

↳ i mean, i’d give him a chance if he asked? but it’s not anything i’m particularly into or wanting

chanel’s enemy okay that helps

↳ uhhh why

dr dre well if my sleepy ass remembers correctly, everyone and their mother are wondering if you’re dating

↳ nah that aint possible

lee lee it is, stupid dailymail picked up on it first 💀

↳ my manager’s asleep, no wonder she hasn’t updated me lol oh well idgaf they can think what they want

chanel’s enemy but even walker and charlie are 😭

↳ they’re gonna forget it in t-minus four secs it’s fine

dr dre whatever you say, ma’am but are you sure that ‘cryptic’ caption won’t cause any issues??

↳ uhh andrew you’re scaring me

dr dre what if someone likes you? like like-likes you and knows you and gets hella jealous or doubtful? and not saying charlie does but he was raving about how he might finally get to hang out with you, ONE ON ONE. what if he thinks he can't because he thinks you two are dating?

↳ bro first off ik you don’t like me, neither does aryan and i know its DEFINITELY not walker

lee lee girl he had a celeb crush on you a few years ago dont tell him i told u that

chanel’s enemy LMFAOOOO but no andrew has a point how come you didn’t mention charlie? 🤨

dr dre yeah i was just aboutta say 🤨 especially after my little analysis?

↳ SECONDLY, guys, charlie doesn’t. not one bit and that’s obvious, like he isn’t even in considerations. i understand what he may feel but he has nothing to worry about. he knows i won't ditch him or anything lol (right?) but if anything the only person that’d be a little confused or whatnot is william

chanel’s enemy WHAT?? AS IN WILLIAM FRANKLYN MILLER??

lee lee huh 😃

↳ we dated for a month back when we were 15 or so and realized we were way better off as friends

lee lee why ?

↳ idk i think i was just jealous of lily 😭 but anyways we’ve been just friends since and i’m completely happy with that. i don't see him romantically anymore, yeah he’s hot but like nah. but yeah if he was confused, it's probably because i was best friends with levi when we dated too and might question if he was the cause of our split?? AGAIN THATS IF HE OVERTHINKS IT

dr dre i feel like i’m reading an autobiographical analysis you definitely are fond towards “millers”

↳ ur welcome <333 and NO i am not

chanel’s enemy okok so we got several people who’d be jealous

↳ WHAT WDYM SEVERAL I ONLY LISTED ONE

lee lee ain’t no way you’re ignoring charlie

↳ DUDES I REALLY DONT THINK HE LIKES ME

dr dre but there could be a possibility? just don’t rule him out

↳ bro he doesn't like me 😭 but yeah trust me everything’s gonna be okay again i dont like anyone and no one likes me, and we'll make sure it's obvious i'm single in case anyone does though that may take a while... ANYWAYS

lee lee suuuuure you should hang out with charlie btw

↳ idk why but im scared to 😭

lee lee but you need to he misses you a lot yk

↳ doesn’t change the fact that im SCARED

lee lee WHY WOULD YOU BE SCARED ITS JUST CHARLIE

↳ IDK I JUST DONT WANNA SEEM STUPID OR UNATTRACTIVE AND SHIT

lee lee HE FLIRTS WITH YOU ALL THE TIME AND MESSES UP JUST AS MUCH, YOURE NOT THE EMBARRASSING ONE HERE

↳ DUDE I KNOW I CAN BE AND I DONT WANNA DRIVE HIM AWAY

dr dre sure you and levi hang out and are sweet and shit but BRO the teeth rotting sugar is you and charlie in your damn COMMENTS

↳ ITS NOT THAT BAD, IS IT?? 😭 GOD I HOPE CHARLIE DOESNT THINK OF ME ANY DIFFERENTLY

chanel’s enemy i think u like charlie, miss girl

↳ NO

dr dre nah, they’d be cute together, even charlie said so himself

chanel’s enemy you dumbass

dr dre uhhh ANYWAYS said too much im gonna sleep again love youse

lee lee BRO yeah night babes <3

chanel’s enemy LOVE U BAE GN

↳ what the duck STUPID AUTOCORRECT WHAT THE FUCK AINT NO WAY YALL JUST DIPPED fine ily guys too </3 BUT DONT THINK IM LETTING THAT GO EASILY ugh what do you guys mean 😭 aint no way thats true OKOK YK WHAT BYE!! FOR REAL THIS TIME

— taglist.

@shokocoded @istillremberthefirstfallofsnow @surftrips @svtsimp22 @gcidrvsh @idontevencare1223 @thames-fig @captainshischier @reggieslifeboat @multifandom-loser @wheelerslover @mermaid-mqtel @randomnpc456 @kaithoughs @isab3lita @mariposa555 @sunshinessky @myr-cheri @thedeadlynights @ella33 @c1nn4mng1rl @poppysrin @breadbrobin @lucy-the-ant @jules-loves-lukecastellan @taloulalila @tom-pls-fuck-me @mia-luvs @iknowyoureabigfan @rinisfruity14 @chasebeth @auttumnsayshi @prettygirlformula @alwayswndr @balletfilmss @kestisvrse @1forthemoney2forthekish @eissaaaa @emelia07 @toffytaste @soulaires @bearwon @happy-mushrooms @simrah1012 @blimp-blimp @obxstiles @yuminako @hopexcroc @mackycat11 @knowugetdejavu @0puddleofgender0

thank you so much for all your love and support, it really means the world to me. y/n's beginning to find out certain things, wonder where things will go from here 🤔

as always, i will continue updating the taglist :)

i love you and am so proud of you, stay safe and drink water <3

[scftpcws]

Naaaah because my boy Ollie is a complete freak! That dude would be clingy and rough AF and I'm here for it. Please please! 🥺

Warning! MDNI18+ some filthy ass shit. and terrible writing please read at your own risk.

smut under the cut 💋

i have been deathly absent for a while but i am here to say… yes. yes the fuck he would be a freak because have you SEEN him. he is a dangerous individual.

i feel like he would have a lot if repressed desires that he would keep from you. he wouldn’t even tell Felix about them, because when has he ever told anyone the truth??

he debated a few times whether or not he should tell you the depraved things he wanted from the two of you’s sex life, but every time he got close he backed out because he didn’t want to weird you out or worse, scare you away.

I feel like he would totally be into some predator x prey dynamic type stuff. he isn’t sure why he’s into it, maybe its the thrill if chasing you through the Maze or giving you 30 seconds to find a hiding space in Saltburn Estate, and spending a dreadful amount of time “trying” to find you, despite knowing exactly where you are every time. he knows you, knows your mind. of course he does, he spent months, possibly years (depending on how long you managed to evade his addictive personality) dissecting that pretty little brain of yours so that he knew every thought process, every detail. he is obsessed with you and that definitely transfers into the way he fucks you.

he’s slow at first. its a mind game, he wants you to beg for him and he knows that by the end of the night you will, regardless of how defiant you may be. I feel like because of this, he may also be into CNC. obviously you two would consent to it and make a list of rules and things that were okay and not okay. he would abide by all of these rules, because again, he respects your boundaries and doesn’t want you to leave him. he would fuck you nice and slow until your fussy and whining for him to go faster, to fuck you harder.

“What was that little lamb? speak up for me.” he would whisper sweetly into your ear, thrusting hard just once into you, watching the way your eyes toll back into your head. “I need it Ollie.” you whine, tears falling from your eyes in frustration.

“Need what love? Do i look like a mind reader? tell me what you want and you can have it.” he slowly begins to rub your clit in gentle and agonising circles. “I want you to fuck me.” you were breathless and almost delerious with pleasure.

“Want?” “ Oh honey, I thought you needed it? What, you dont need me anymore, hmm? don’t need to feel my love for you? don’t need to feel me break you?” he ask, his once languid thrust coming to a halt. You whine without restraint, cursing him with your teeth clenched dur to the sudden lack if pleasure.

“Tell me you crave me. Tell me you need me, how you can’t breathe without me, how im everything you need. Tell me.” he says, his lips against your ear, his hand round your throat grip tightened, causing your breathing to strain.

“I need you! Please i need to feel you. only you can fuck me this good, please Ollie. make me feel better, i need you to make me feel better…please.” the last please was a desperate whine, so pathetic Ollie had to throw his head back to avoid your soft and innocent gaze. you trailed you hand up to his neck to pull him closer to you, your gaze so piercing and unavoidable that he almost came, his thick cock unmoving in your tight cunt.

“Please Sir.”

oh that one did it. His pace was instantly bruising, so violent that if you didn’t know the extent of his love, you might have thought he wanted you dead. you almost didn’t recognise him. he was like a wild animal, his only aim to fuck you into oblivion.

he mumbled a mix of incoherent praise and degrading comments as your throat became hoarse from your scream like moans. the crying for him to slow down only spurred him on, causing him to shove his fingers in you mouth to dampen your onslaught of noises.

he fuck you dangerously for what could have been hours. you lost count of how many times you came around him. your body felling fuzzy and limp. seeing you so braindead for him had him unleashing what quite easily could have been his 7th load of the night. he watched as a dumb, lopsided grin etched its way into your lips as you felt the warmth of his cum flood your cunt once more.

“look at you so pretty for me, my pretty little lamb.”

well… im back.. i think..

[leclerking]

max x reader (you)

enemies to lovers slow burn or fast burn idk idc

write a self indulgent fic when you're drunk

slayyyyyy im drink rn girlie lets write some fan fictionnnn

do i make this aesthetic? ok maybe i make it aesthrtic

MV01 | ★ BRO WHATS YOUR NAEM?

so its a clubbing scene. im drinking as usual. i want to dance but my friends arent dancers. they're also tired. a man comes up to me and i instantly want to rail him.

he says " you wannt to dance?? ' i said " Yeah dude all night' . so we're on teh dance floor and we're dancing and my friends are at a distance somehwer in the club

then i fall tired so i left to ge t a drink and join my friends, just as i sit down with them, this man. built like a tree. same one from earlier comes back and says lets dance again come on. i was tired but he was handsome so i wen back to dance. then again i was tired so i came bk. and so did he. "come onnn the night is young lets go back" he pleads with a huggee smile. as if he slept with a hanger in his mouth

"dude WHO EEVN ARE YOU AND HOW DO YOU STILL HAVE THE ENERGY??' i asked as i was close to passing out. (just like rite now while i amm typing this)

but he just smiles and takes my hand and i follow him and we're again having fun on the dance floor. soon enough i couldnt do tjis anymore so i tell my friends that we can leave. and we'er sitting on a bemch outside waiting for our uber AND GUESS WHO SHOWS UP!

"you want to catch a drink later someday again?"

i only stare at him. what does he even mean?? " i dont live in this city, i'm here for like 5 days. also WHO ARE YOU i still domtknow your name yet!! how will i even find you??'

'so u do want to find me? " he smirks " if we have one last dance left togther, maybe we will find eachother " and with that he left.

------------------------- im so tired im going to continue this when im drunk mext time i hop e i dont forget the storu--------------------------

HI I DDI NOT FORGET WE ARE BACK HELLO!

OKAY so now this is probably the next day or the day before we leave the city (i dont know which citty)

im in the lobby with my friends, just back from a whole tiresome day of site watching ? seeing?? the city. im waiting to get something frm the recption and i hear his voice.

" you're here??" "omg dude are you stalking me ?????" i ask with a smile! LIKE WHY AM I SMILING ??!!

" nope. my friend actually lives hre. i came to drop her off "

" you have a girlfriend?" "would not you like to know??"

" nvm i dont, bye"

"okay wait, shes just a friend, and besides i came to drop her AND her boyfriend." and idk what to say, i wanna ask him out but whats the point ill leave tomorrow...

" would you like to go out today? i know this really really great place that has a great salsa night..." not like the dip like the dance!

"sure i'd love that" why am i brushing like an idiot. i told him i'd meet him down in just a few minutes. and sooner than later we were at this beautiful place, you could see the coast. so many people were dacing through tje entire street.

and then so were we. one mimosa after another. one song after another and we were both super drunk and laughing anf giggling and dancing and just having the greatest time ever.

and we continued to have a great time even after we got back to my room. im sure we had great sex. and we wer arguing about something i dont remmbr and having a roast contest. thats all i remembr.

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

because when i woke up, he was gone. not a single trace. no note, nothing... AND I STILL DIDNT KNOW HIS NAME. was he just a ghost? perhaps my drunk imagination or halusination...

went down for breakfast and met my friends. and they asked me about last night. AND I ASKED THEM FOR CONFIRMATION " SO I WASNT THE ONLY ONE WHO COULD SEE HIM??"

maybe he was real.. but i had to leave in a few hours. maybe he would just have to remain a core memmory to me in this city. and it sucks because he has the cutest smile, and the best energy when it came to dancing.

the whole time, in the taxi, the airport , the flight.. okay maybe no tthe flight because i usually fall asleeep. i thought about him and waht a wonderful time we had.

would i ever see him again??

------------------------

I want to take this time annd appretiate some of my friends or moods as they say on thos web site. It is 3 am her

@crimsonicarus @lesharl-eclair @sebsore @sebscore @jelloecat @hellocat? @jelliecatz @scuderia-leclerc starcentral @strkctrl @stqrsctrl @deadaydreams @fhumingrace you guys salllaayyyyyyy 💗🤍💕❤️💔💌❤️‍🩹💟❤️‍🔥🫦💋

OH WAIT AND @KRIKRISYERR I for the lyf of me caaannot spell this useeename but they give me the best f1 fic recs

This account has lit rally Turner into my safe space 😭😭😭😭😭💗💗💗💗

[stevie-petey]

I have blurb idea for the kids in season one when you have time for it. In season one after bug left with Nancy and Jonathan the kids debriefing on what they just saw. Which is basically just the kids gossiping about what they think is going on between the three. Like Mike asked Nancy if she liked Jonathan now so clearly he saw something going on ya know?

anon i LOVE this one its always so fun writing the kids gossiping about the teens <333

enjoy !

"whats going on with your sister and jonathan, man?" lucas asks your brother as they watch you run out of the schools gym after jonathan and nancy.

dustin sighs and rests his head against the bleachers. "i dont know. theyve been weird all week."

"i think it has something to do with my sister?" mike joins in on the conversation now. "i asked nancy if she liked jonathan and then she got all weird."

"why would she like him if shes with harrington and y/n is with jonathan?" lucas frowns now, feeling suddenly defensive over you. "do we need to do something?"

mike hits his friend with the back of his head. "no, doofus. y/n doesnt need you to fight for her weird honor."

"well, i mean, maybe she does-"

dustin slaps a hand over lucas' mouth with a disgusted look on his face. "dude. your crush on my sister is showing and its gross."

lucas yanks dustins hand away and shrieks. "i do not have a crush on y/n!"

mike and dustin share a look with one another as el, who has been quiet this entire conversation as she rests, lets out a weak giggle. during her few days observing you with the party, its obvious even to her that lucas has a slight crush on you.

seeing everyones disbelief, lucas throws his hands up in the air and groans. "look, this isnt about me! clearly theres something wrong between jonathan and y/n, and if theyre fighting then that means we wont be able to get free rides out of them anymore."

"why wouldnt we get free rides if theyre fighting?" dustin asks, furrowing his brows in confusion.

"because jonathan has his own car and we'd be taking y/n's side," mike says as if it's the most obvious thing in the world with an eye roll. "duh."

your brother feels a certain happiness at the knowledge that his friends would take your side against jonathans. and, even though will isnt here right now, they all know that he would also ditch his brother in a heartbeat for you.

all the kids would.

youre a part of the party.

the boys eat the cookies that you made for them in silence for a while as they think about the strangeness between you and jonathan tonight. while theyre more than willing to defend you and take your side, they cant help but be worried about it.

theyve never seen you and jonathan so off kilter before, and it frightens them to even consider the idea that the connection between you two could be severed.

"theyll be okay, right?" lucas finally voices the worries that they all have quietly sat with.

dustin sighs, also unsure himself. hes grown up watching the two of you become intertwined with one another. now, he watches as you slowly unravel, and hes not sure how it will end. "its y/n and jonathan we're talking about. of course theyll be okay... they-they have to be okay."

"well thats depressing." mike says with yet another eye roll. "why cant we just keep y/n and replace jonathan with someone else?"

"careful, mike." lucas leans in close to the boy now and puckers his lips and makes kissing noises. "nancy could replace harrington with jonathan."

"yuck!" mike shoves his friend away and looks towards dustin for help. "that wont happen, right?"

dustin frowns. for once, he really isnt sure. he saw nancy and jonathan earlier, how they almost left you behind tonight, and he saw the hurt in your eyes when you watched them together. theres feelings there between the three of you, and dustin is afraid for you. its obvious to everyone how much you adore jonathan; your entire world revolves around the guy.

with a sigh, dustin shakes his head. "no idea, man. i dont understand teenagers."

"no one does." lucas rests his head in his hand and chews sadly on his cookie. then, with poorly hidden curiosity, he asks, "my crush on y/n isnt that obvious, right? like, she has no idea?"

mike and dustin again share a look and shake their heads at their friend while el lifts her head up. with all the energy she has left in her, she responds to lucas. "friends dont lie."

lucas covers his face in embarrassment and groans as mike, el, and dustin all break into laughter.

[suffarustuffaru]

why the emilia camp thinks otto is their most threatening member 👍

i see some people being confused on why the emilia camp collectively seems to agree that otto is the biggest threat there for some reason and like. yeah. i get it.

but let me explain real quick why i think it makes sense for the emilia camp to think that :O !!

otto though is disarming because. well okay look at him he doesnt look threatening at all. he has the looks and personality of a wet cat. hes whiny. hes cringe fail. he gets stressed out with paperwork. he looks like you could just smack him around like a bug. he HAS been smacked around like a bug. but that makes him unpredictable because apart from roswaal, he is the Most Amoral one there. you can expect roswaal to be trying some shit, but youd never know when to expect otto is planning something. his moral compass is just “does this benefit me or my loved ones in some way? if not, then its gonna be gone 🥺”.

sure, he does nice things sometimes out of the goodness of his heart. he genuinely means well a lot of the time.

but also then you read the shit hes thinking in his internal dialogue and its like.

“should i go save some girl i dont even know from bandits??? hmm lemme think for a couple minutes. im the only one that can help rn… some guy claiming to be her dad is begging me to help his daughter, but also hes kind of annoying… but i dont even live in this city so why should i help… or Care. actually. but i feel kinda bad about this girl… but also this is gonna put me and my profits in danger… but if i reject helping then im forever gonna be known as the guy who abandoned them and then i wont be able to make any sales in this city anymore :<<<< ……anyway im gonna help them then lol im so smart.” and then he gets captured by the exact same bandits anyway so hes like “well okay now me and this girl might be sold into slavery so i might as well save both of us or ill feel bad ☝️☝️”

(yes. yes this is genuinely ottos thought process if you read through the Otto's Bittersweet Peddling Log side story.)

except all the back and forth Calculation he does in his head Stays In His Head and doesnt match up with his outward appearance most of the time. which means that sometimes his words dont match up with his actions. “dont be surprised if i leave at the first sign of danger,” he says, right after risking his life and writing a suicide note over a dude hes known for like four days. “ahah thanks for giving me a vacation to see my family…” he says, damn well knowing he cant go back home yet otherwise he’ll get sniped by assassins. “im gonna give you some of my own money bounty money to help you BUT BUT BUT DONT THINK THAT IM NICE OR ANYTHING I NEED MOST OF THE MONEY FOR REPAIRS OK YOU CAN ONLY HAVE A BIT :<<<“

this also means that whenever otto says or does something Particularly Questionable, all his friends are still kinda blindsided by it because otherwise otto seems Mostly Fine in comparison to whatever the hell everyone else has going on. hes just a wet pathetic cat of a guy ahah. theres nothing more going on with h—

“if everyone in vollachia dies but rem and natsuki-san live, then we’ve won. if everyone in vollachia lives but rem and natsuki-san die, then we’ve lost.”

um otto can you repeat that. what the fuck did you just say.

otto looks Mostly Normal, Just Stressed Out or Somewhat Chilling the vast majority of the time, and then he whacks you over the head with a steel chair. like can you imagine being garfiel and learning that this pathetic rag of a man is actually pretty brave when it counts. youre like “oh cool lol we kinda beat each others asses and i was Annoyed but now that thats all over i got some newfound respect for you!!” and then you read through his diary and hes got a suicide note in there, which is like. okay fine whatever hes kind of a clown just like my New Captain lol but hes dedicated to his friends, ill give him that. and then a year later you find your now brother figure (whos also lowkey highkey an alcoholic) with a broken hand after punching a wall because he couldnt do his Lets Abandon 50 Million People Plan and youre just sitting there going

and okay dont get me wrong—subaru is Batshit Crazy. in Multiple Incomprehensible Ways. if the emilia camp (or Anyone. At All.) knew about all the shit hes done and been through with rbd, subaru would INSTANTLY be skyrocketing up the Most Threatening People list. but at the same time subarus less threatening than otto in the sense that subarus Always going to want to do good. hes Always going to want to save everyone. hes Extremely forgiving, on top of that. he goes along picking up friends everywhere he goes in his own Incomprehensible Unhinged Way and hes fond of All of them.

otto? yeah his opinion of you could shift on a dime and you could end up in his personal shit list unless youre one of the *checks list* *clears throat* maybe like ten people he cares about. and even if youre on the I Care About You! :) list, he could still get pissed enough at you to, i dont know, punch a wall over you? and spiral into obsession? and even if hes not upset at you hes still gonna mansplain manipulate malewife his way to his goals <33

and yeah of course subaru is also Mansplain Manipulate and Gaslight Gatekeep but at least he has way more good intentions AND his attitude about it is gonna be like "sorry :<<< i just gotta do this for your sake :<<<<<< :((( haha dont worry about it". subaru would never ever want to do anything big to hurt his loved ones (except for rbd). while otto doesnt even bat an eye. everyone can be manipulated if he has to. he goes down his list of Things I Need To Do and goes "yeah that had to be done. oh well. anyway i got more shit to do (like maybe kill a toddler lol)"

also lets talk about roswaal's perspective really quick. post-arc 4 hes like "well subaru-kun is always gonna want to save everyone and hes doing a pretty good job of things in general so whatever lol. i can still keep him in check by killing everyone if even one of his friends dies :)". so its like. YEAH subarus an Unhinged Wildcard. roswaal knows that. but right now subaru is more predictable and also again, roswaal knows he can keep subaru in check by making subaru have to reset if roswaal really needs to.

but otto? yeah ottos second in line for being an Unhinged Wildcard. but whats even worse is that otto is Basically Subaru but More Calculating and with a moral backbone thats Near Nonexistent. roswaal was genuinely concerned for otto in arc 8 for once and there was still Literally No Stopping Otto from being a stubborn little shit whos hell bent on all the maladjusted insane mentalities hes got floating around in his head, half of which he doesnt even say out loud, and all of which he thinks is Completely Right and that theres Nothing Wrong with what hes doing.

and also otto being underestimated and Not In The Tome was a big help as to how subaru got the win over roswaal in arc 4 👍and then otto Continues to try keeping an eye on roswaal after arc 4, to the point of getting roswaal's tome and actively trying to investigate roswaal's actions, so roswaal is Very Aware that otto is. a bit of a threat. roswaal of course is smarter and more powerful than otto though, but that still doesnt change the fact that otto is still capable of being a threat if roswaal doesnt Also kind of keep an eye on otto back. because roswaal kind of lost to otto already in arc 4!!

but okay, on top of all of this, no one knows the full extent of whats going on with otto, not even roswaal (though he has his Suspicions), and most definitely not subaru yet (whos Still a bit of an otto apologist anyway), and otto is already a bit menacing even without knowing All of that. and the rest of the emilia camp are already a bit more lenient with roswaal (as hes seemingly chilled out after arc 4 + they all need him still). that, and you can easily Expect roswaal post-arc 4 to be suspicious and Probably up to something. you wont know what it is, but you wont Exactly be surprised when it happens.

and also roswaal isnt publicly batshit crazy like otto is. otto of course isnt as Openly Weird as subaru, but otto is still Openly Unhinged and Pathetic. just look at him declaring julius and anastasia, HIS CAMP'S ALLIES, as enemies right to their faces alsdfjlsdjfl.

and with subaru, there is Zero doubt in the emilia camp's minds that subaru wants the best for them and everyone around them.

otto though? yeah he also wants whats best for the camp. he Cares about them, he really does. but hes so obviously Questionable by the time you get to arc 8 to the point where the entire rest of the camp starts eyeing him like this:

theres also the fact that ottos dp allows him to have eyes and ears Everywhere so long as he doesnt overuse it. that paired with his Intelligence, Stubbornness, and Lack of Morals or self-awareness/sometimes guilt/regret over his actions is dangerous. theres a reason why gluttony if subaru decided to flood The Entire Surrounding Area Around Otto. the flood took away the potential army otto couldve made out of the animals and allies otto had in the city, and once you do that, whats otto going to do against someone like shaula? all of ottos power regarding his People Skills and Animal DP was stripped away.

but if that Isnt stripped away... well honestly otto can do whatever the hell he wants the moment he figures out a solid plan to try and get what he wants. his biggest ability at the core of what makes him dangerous is his ability to quite Literally be in the background. so long as hes underestimated, so long as he still has secrets, no ones gonna know the full extent of his bullshit!! you cant stop him if you dont even realize what hes going to do, and hes Good at doing that!!

and if gluttonybaru hadnt taken out otto, subaru would be skyrocketing right to the top of ottos shit list after subaru literally just killed All of ottos (and previously subarus.) loved ones. otto wouldnt stop until he figured out how to destroy subaru. its to the point where im pretty sure if otto had to choose between destroying half the world vs kill gluttonybaru once and for all, otto would certainly choose one of those options in a Heartbeat.

anyway. if youre an emilia camp member, and you see the dude whos in charge of the Vast Majority of the factions political affairs, the guy who you Know is very intelligent and competent and determined when it counts, say shit like "if everyone dies in this entire country i wouldnt even give a single flying fuck as long as our friends get back safe and sound :) it would be such a loss if the entire country lived but our friends didnt :<<<" OF COURSE I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH THAT GUY IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ONE HERE. HE HAS THE SKILLS AND THE MOTIVATION TO BACK UP THAT STATEMENT AND I WONT EVEN KNOW WHEN ITD HAPPEN. he also has the Mental Instability to back that up too, given the amount of times he spends drinking and Raging and Being Terribly Anxious over Every Little Thing.

youll be sweating buckets being wary of otto while ottos casually standing there with his wet cat looks and a knife in your back.

and otto has, for the most part, some of the most normal trauma compared to a bunch of people in this cast (not to discount ottos trauma and pain or anything but its true lajdsfls sorry otto. but also im not sorry because arc 5 was partially on you T^T). he doesnt have rbd, he doesnt have some weird family drama bullshit going on like the astreas or emilias family or the segmunts, he hasnt been erased by gluttony, etc etc. but hes still like this. if you put him in subarus position and gave him rbd, he would get even worse than he already is.

yeah so anyway thats my quick rambley psa about why i think it makes sense that the emilia camp's voted otto as the most threatening one there 👍

but the fact that we (the audience) (or at least some of us!!) keep questioning why the hell the emilia camp thinks otto is the biggest threat there is means that otto's funny silly guy image is. Kind of Working??? just a little bit.

because. granted. of course i think subaru is easily the most threatening person there with both His Flavor of Insanity and rbd. subaru is an eldritch horror in every single way. but at the same time - hes an eldritch horror who thinks friendship is the best magic of all T^TT !!! he FORGIVES PEOPLE WHO'VE KILLED AND TORTURED HIM. hes not threatening in this sense - the fact that hes kind of just way too nice in this sense!!! granted yes, he IS abusing rbd and Terrifying and Threatening in a multitude of ways, but i'd rather take my chances with mainbaru over main otto right now HAH T^TT at least subaru will apologize and start bawling his eyes out if he stabs some random innocent civilian and stranger in the gut for Some Necessary Reason!! otto would feel a bit bad and then completely Eradicate that feeling of guilt with "i had to do it. it was them or me so no regrets <3".

because otto..................... yeah otto is the Worlds Most Pathetic Yandere to his whole camp.

[crabonfire]

One bed trope part 3!!

warnings: none

characters: sniper and spy

note: finally lmao I'm sick of this damn trope at this point

also, they are the little spoons 👍👍👍 idk imagining spy as the little spoon is cute to me

♡Sniper♡

• he'll just sleep on the floor 🤷‍♀️

"Oh-dude there's just one bed."

"I guess I'll sleep on the floor then."

"What? No! I'll sleep on the floor."

"It's fine, I don't mind."

"No sniper I don't mind."

"...so how will we do this?"

"...we could share?"

"Oh. Alright."

• woah woah woah woahhhhh??? sharing with...you? naurrrrr

Don't get me wrong, he adores you and loves the company. But...sleeping? In the same bed? With? The person he's head over heels for? The person who distracts him mid battle because they are constantly running through his mind? I don't even think he'll be able to sleep at all.

the entire night is quiet. it's an awkward silence from the both of you. any small talk made is,,,well, short. He wants to talk to you, just have fun but he's so tense. So are you, he can see how eager you are to strike up convo, but nothing seems to come out of your mouth.

• "I'm gonna get some shut eye, 's been a long day."

"Oh okay! Goodnight snipes."

"Night."

• You quickly doze off after a couple minutes and he finds that the TV is not entertaining in any way, so he also decides its time for bed.

Turning it off, he takes off his hat and places it by the headstand on his side, awkwardly slipping into the covers trying his best not to wake your sleeping form.

He faces you for a bit, then feels the blush creeping on his face due to how peaceful you look like this. A soft smile appears on his face. He sighs and turns to the other side, arm under the pillows and eyes closed shut.

• He has a lot of trouble sleeping. So usually he spends his nights just pondering about life and how it could be for him. I mean it doesn't help, but it's the only thing he can do to make himself sleepy enough to actually rest.

But he's snapped back into reality when he feels soft arms wrap around his chest from behind, eyes now open and the blush on his face is back as he realises that your holding him in your sleep.

His body stiffens, he's completely frozen. What does he do in this situation? He really doesn't know.

But...this is nice. He hadn't been held like this in a while. He smiles when he heard your muffled murmurs in your sleep, feeling your face lie gently on his back as you snore. The butterflies he's feeling is immense, his heart is pounding...it feels like he's going to explode.

•Hes glad your asleep, because if you were, he'd look like a cherry red tomato to you.

aww rhat was so cute anywaysss wakey wakey

You find yourself awake before he is, and in a very very intimate position.

• Your holding him tightly without even realising it, his face in the crook of your neck as he wraps himself around your torso. You can feel his warm breath on your neck, sending small shivers down your spine.

You dont know what to do, you try to move but the response you get is a tighter grasp. It seems he doesn't want you to let go, and he's not planning on letting go himself.

"Mmm...Y/N..."

He mumbles, making you feel a warm wave of heat spread through your cheeks. You smile weakly and silently scream inside. Oh my god, this is the shit they pull in romantic dramas. Holy shit.

You peer at the clock, your early. That means you can still sleep in, holding your crush in a warm embrace <333

♡Spy♡

• naur

• yea he planned this lmfaoooo

• no like idk how to make this sound romantic or silly he planned this 👍👍👍

• "Oh-spy uh...there's only..one bed."

"So it seems, well, I guess we'll just have to share, hm?"

"Oh...okay."

The entire night is filled with playful, and downright romantic flirting. It's not subtle anymore, and the fond look he gives you doesn't make this any easier to deal with. You knew this man had his charm, but wow, okay.

When it was time for bed, he waited for you to fall asleep because ain't no way he's letting you see him without the mask.

• "Goodnight spy."

"Goodnight, Y/N."

He simply spends the time to do some light reading, and when he hears your faint snores, he takes that as the time he can sleep. He takes his mask off before he sleeps, he's professional of course but ain't no way he bouta do that.

He sets it aside, revealing his thick black hair, his grey hairs prominent, an endearingly adorable trait of his (hehe he's cute)

• he sleeps facing you, admiring your features one by one, memorising each miniscule detail he can find. It's not this often he can get so close to the person he finds dear to him, so he's going to cherish it.

He's not one to act lovey dovey, but right now, he's in the most vulnerable position he could be in. Maskless, with the person he loves, no weapon in hand and just comfortably lying down, ready for sleep.

The feelings he has for you are strong, and that's saying something, considering he usually settles for casual flings.

But, if its you, being like this is...New. usually, he'd always be on guard and being the perfect, charmer he is around others. But others aren't like you, your special. You make him comfortable with his vulnerability.

• rambling aside, he sighs before turning his back and deciding its time to rest. He has no worries about if you'll wake up to his maskless face because he always wakes up earlier than you ever will.

Good morning, sleepyhead. I have a gun to your head!! Wake up lmao

• he wakes up quick, blinking the last bit of sleep away. something about what he's feeling right now is unusual...he feels warm. like a big cozy blanket has enveloped him in its protective hold.

he blinks a couple more times and realises the position he's in. For once, it seems that he is the flustered one in this situation.

You're holding him in your arms, his head lays on your chest, being able to hear every breath you make and the slow, hypnotising beating of your heart. His hands wrapped tightly around your waist, as if in his unconsciousness, he had been aching to be closer to you.

Oh Y/N, what is he going to do with you?

• being in such a romantic position...its driving him mad. Never had he thought you'd be the one holding him, cradling his body till the day came. But here you are, comfortably asleep with him in your arms.

This sudden intimacy is not new to him, but it has been so long since he's been held by someone he truly loves...and it might be delusion or hopeful thinking, but maybe you feel the same to him too.

• though, as much as he'd like to stay with you like this, hell if he could he'd do it for all eternity, he has to get up. slowly, he unwraps himself from you, replacing him with his pillow, and goes to get ready for the day.

He's glad you're asleep because if the day ever comes for you to see him with red blush staining his cheeks, he'd rather die. <3

author note pls read :•(

hey sorry ive been gone for like...months. finals came up, second semester started, I've been getting unmotivated not only by writing but my other hobbies and even school too. I'm so sorry,,,I'm especially sorry to all the requests I've ignored for my hiatus,,,writing is NOT easy, and sometimes becomes a chore for me when I get pressured or unmotivated.

I hope you guys enjoy,,,sorry for any errors English is not my first language. I will try my best to post more, but I cannot guarantee I will be consistent. Thank you for reading :•)

[omgwhatchloe]

dude i just had the fuckin camp interaction where dutch tells sean to cheer up i need your thoughts because i am LIVID

oh my god that sends me CRAZY

ok so first things first dutch expects sean to be the camp clown, to present everything as fine and dandy by showing he is not worried about the situation he is trying to hide. we already know sean is pretty worried, by having two interactions, this one and one with hosea, where he questions if the gang is going to be okay, along with having his own doubts in chapter 3 of the whole greys plan. making sean hide his worries and problems because they would be an inconvenience to dutch and, in his eyes, cause a stir in camp, is extremely inhumane. its the firm way that dutch tells him to cheer up, more like a command than actual comfort. “i need you cheerful” now if that isnt proving that sean had been taking the role of camp clown for so long that its being forced upon him, i dont know what will.

second of all, dutch is completely disregarding everything that sean was put through by the bounty hunters. for someone who tries to be progressive for those times, he doesnt even allow sean to have days where he’s miserable or in pain. again, all that matters to dutch? hiding his own doubts. pretending it’s all okay to the gang until he simply can’t hide it anymore. to say he doesn’t care about what sean went through is too far, but im yet to see any evidence to say otherwise. i wouldn’t say he doesn’t care, more doesn’t acknowledge.

third of all, sean has been so miserable that dutch noticed. would dutch be watching for his misery? is it another thing on his internal check-list to keep the camp going? or was sean so unhappy from what he’d been through, or even something that had happened that day, it was obvious and inevitable someone would say something? dutch tries to make sean cheerful again by saying it’s going to be okay, automatically assuming thats whats got him miserable. that speaks volumes to me, that dutch is worried himself about the situation of the gang and is actively projecting that onto others. sean saying “i know sir” might even imply he’s not miserable about that.

finally, sean might not have been upset at all. “im real cheerful, sir.” obviously this quote isnt true, but he might not have even been particularly upset that day. its like when you’re not thinking about much, and you’re not smiling, but you’re also not upset. to sean, he could be doing this without even thinking about it. but dutch, almost like he’d been watching, picked up that something was wrong with sean. just because he wasn’t laughing, smiling, or teasing others. i feel quite bad for sean if every time he tries to sean he isnt buzzing, he’s at risk of being hounded by dutch.

OKOK THATS JUST MY THOUGHTS BYE

[yokakaiju]

i got bored and made a tierlist based off who smokes the most weed

justifications under cut

so like i made this cause its funny first and foremost, but i did put like somewhat actual thought into this. not much, but synapses were firing in my brain putting this together

also im not tagging everyone, ill just like pick 2 or whatevs

okay so first up is chidaruma. dude prolly invented weed ngl. you know he's smoked everyway imaginable: blunt, pipe, bong, can, apple, vape, synthesized, edible, hotbox, blower; you name it, he's done it. he's kinda over it, but he's still up there just cause like... idk he is and won't take criticism

haru is a beautiful weed smoking gf thats literally it

13's entire schedule is probably wake up, smoke, jerk off, sleep, eat, smoke, jerk off, eat, smoke, repeat. he also would probably kin jesse pinkman

ton is a bitch and smokes all the cross-eye commanders weed. like they'll save up for MONTHS to get like 5oz (one for each of them :3) and he'll be like, "woah! a bag of weed!" and smoke it ALLLLLL in like an hour. he's like a truffle pig for weed, they can try to hide it but his ass always finds it and smokes it all. he would prolly also call it za or skunk or some shit like that

ebisu isn't quite in the high 24/7 catagory, but she could be. dawg loves weed, like she is also 100% a fucking master at rolling blunts she rivals chidaruma at it. rolling blunts is like a sport for her tbh

aikawa's gotta cope dawg. like if he aint at school or currently being possed by demons his ass is smokin that shit bruh he needs a minute to chill. also he's got crazy money (kai's money but shhh) so he might as well spend it on his pookie <3 (risu)

noi may be controversial being up so high, but hear me out. weed smoking gf? i think yes B) mogs at you

asuka also has to cope, but its cause shes a blackpilled femcel (her own words i stg)

chota would smoke, but he hates the smell and doesn't want it to ruin his clothes and shit. he prolly wears like silk gowns and dances around to madonna while trippin off like 10g. he's livin the life tbh

OKAY HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT HEAR ME OUT johnston. fucking johnston is only i repeat ONLY UP HERE‼️ because kasukabe gives him those little non thc thc pills people give to dogs with anxiety and agression issues to keep him calm

poor dokuga cant share with his besties so he's been condemed to eating edibles alone... also smoking/inhaling smoke makes him drool a bit so like a bit deadly for everyone around him to even try. i like, debated on putting him in never, but tetsujo prolly cooks smth up for him so he doesn't feel left out <3

natsuki is only at the top of sometimes because she probably would more if she had money. also she sucks in a blunt rotation cause her ass ALWAYS WITHOUT FAIL tries to hold it in and always coughs like a mfer and taps out after like one hit

vaux just makes sense. he looks like an average 30-40smth nu metal oldhead, theres no way he DOESNT smoke at least a little. id put him in 100% but he's also a fairly responsible doctor so liek idk

kasukabe doesnt as much anymore, mostly only when he's with haru, but he still does sometimes for funsies cause he's just chiil like that :3

tetsujo doesn't thattt much cause it fucks with his already dog shit depth perception super bad, but sometimes if ton or the others dont find it he shares it with dokuga and they like yuri pose and eat edibles together or smth idk

ik kaiman is gonna be controversial being so low, but listen. 1) his ass is too focused on socerers and shit to care 2) he's dirt poor. he simply cannot afford it 3) how tf is he gonna smoke with no lips? that blunt would just get chewed to shit. like genuinely he would maybe get one singular edible if nikaido or vaux were feeling nice, but other than that its like, idk almost never for him

i would but shin in never, but ik noi is like "boss!!!! come take hits off this bong with me!! its gonna be so sick omg you HAVE to come smoke with me RN!!!!" and he'd be like "sighhhhhh... anything for my weed smoking gf ig..."

ushishimada is only so low cause i feel like he's too mothery to smoke a lot? like, he's too responsible, but not responsible enough to outright say no. also they're poor asf and ton always smokes it all

fukuyama would get his ass kicked by tanba if he found out, but ik dawgs gotta take a load off sometimes tbh

now again, controversial take but i have reasons. risu is so fucking poor. like, genuinely he is too worried about his tuition, bills, and groceries to give af about it (also cause aikawa is a bitch and makes him pay for everything cause "i forgot my wallet oopsie :3c"). now aikawa does supply him tho and he hooks him up with the primo shit ong. so at least when he does smoke he smokes that good shit (also they yuri pose as well while they smoke)

again, saji is too mommy to smoke that much weed (also another case of being too poor). bro doesn't want his clothes and needlework to smell like shit, which i respect

ai 100% would if his ass wasnt so busy with his damn self expiramentation bs. like, he wants to smoke so bad tbh, but he's like "sigh i gotta work on my plans to rebuild my body from the ground up.. maybe tomorrow" stares longingly out the window imagining how cool smoking weed is

again, kai's over here fuckin "i have to go to work" like he genuinely just doesn't care or have time. he's never even thought about it tbh, like you're tellin me this mfer has had a single thought outside of total domination in his entire existance??? HELL NAH HIS ASS DOES NOT THINK HE HAS ZERO THOUGHTS IN HIS HEAD I STG

now this may also be controversial. why isn't by beautiful coquette cottagecore angelcore babe out there rolling and smoking the fattest blunts known to man? turkey just like doesnt feel it. its not for her tbh. she tried smoking, she tried edibles. she just wasnt a fan tbh. like, she'll cook up some of the tastiest edibles you've ever had if you ask, but she just aint a fan

kirion also just doesn't feel it tbh. again, its not for her and thats alright

wow surprise surprise another controversial take. like, before you get mad just think abt it for a sec. like, she's so fucking business first and always has been that i think she would just see it as a major hinderance on her job performance, as well as the performance of her employees later down the line. now im not saying she's a narc or hardass about it, im saying she just doesn't feel it. the high she gets from people enjoying her food and making money is enough for her tbh. also she does do edibles sometimes, but mostly like when it rains in hole to make it a little less miserable and painful

en is about the same. like, he def has. he's just like, idk. he doesnt wanna. its not for him anymore. he doesn't care if anyone in the family does it, but they better not sacrifice the quality of their work for it. like if he catches you high on the job its prolly like some sort of repremanding, but off the clock he dont gaf

genuinely copy paste nikaidos shit for tanba. he's too worried about his business to even consider smoking weed

now... kawajiri is a fucking narc and a half. his ass would be like "erm ☝️🤓 well actually" and then give a big long speech about how weed is bad blah blah blah whatever no one cares dawg stop fuckin yappin. but like, he's just pissed cause no one will smoke with him or share their weed with him cause he's such a hardass

fujita is kinda weed smoking gf coded, but like ik his ass would be like "EN! EN! I SAW EBISU SMOKING A BLUNT THE SIZE OF HER OWN FOREARM AND TRYING TO SHARE IT WITH KIKURAGE!!! YOU NEED TO STOP HER RN!!!!" but hes only like this cause when he was in a blunt roation with shin, noi, and ebisu they all told him holding it in made you higher, but he ended up puking and they all laughed at him and made fun of him for it because hes a fucking idiot. so now he's an evil little narc who squeals to en when he even catches a whiff of a skunk like scent

curse is a bitch and ik his ass is like "RAAAHHHH‼️ I GOTTA GO KILL THE CROSS-EYES BOSS RAHHH‼️ I NEED TO SEEK REVENEGE FOR MY MURDER RAHHHHHH‼️" like dawg chill tf out be so real rn. he's too focused on revenge and shit to smoke and like, i think if he did smoke and kai also smoked they'd have beautiful hot sexy yaoi, thats just me tho

oh my god shou is such a bitch about it. like sure kawajiri gives lectures about the "scary true reality of weed" and fujita is a narc, but this guy. oh my god this mfer. THIS IS THE REAL REASON EVERYONE FORGOT ABOUT HIM ITS CAUSE THEY KNOW HIS ASS IS GONNA WHINE AND BITCH AND MAKE YOU GO TO LIKE AA OR NA OR WHATEVER FOR IT!!!! HE'LL START CALLIN YOI AND ADDICT AND SAYIN ITS A GATEWAY AND SHIT AND HOW THE DEVILS WILL IMMEDIATLY DRAG YOI TO HELL AND TORTURE YOU FOREVER IF YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT IT OH MY BALLS

kikurage is literally just a dog dawg. her ass dont even know what weed is

store crow mauler is like... idk man. idk how it would smoke weed or if it even knows or cares what weed is. whatever, its kinds like a pet so whatevs

[watercolorofthemoon]

i forced my roommate to watch both LOTR and The Hobbit with me. Here are some highlights

LOTR:

Roomie: I like this gandalf dude Me: Oh yeah me too. he's a bit questionable sometimes but we love him

30 seconds later, gandalf fighting saruman: Roomie: NO MY SKRUNKLY

Roomie: awe sam is a precious boy Me, internally: oh you dont even know the half of it

merry and pippin stealing crops: Roomie: ARE THEY THE BASTARD LITTLE BROTHERS?? me: I mean i gues- Roomie: FOUND FAMILY LETS FUCKING GO

Elrond being disappointed and having strong eyebrows: Roomie: i feel like i've let down my dad and i dont even have a dad

Roomie: i don't really like boromir that much- me, pausing the movie to explain why boromir is extremely valid: I WILL HAVE NO BOROMIR SLANDER Roomie: is this bc he's a himbo

Roomie: this thorin guy sounds pretty gay if he's given bilbo this thing thats worth more than the shire me, internally: YOU HAVE NO IDEA MOTHERFUCKER

gandalf dying: roomie: NO MY BOY

roomie: please tell me gimli and legolas are gay, because everyone else seems extremely straight me: they arguably one of the gayest duos, yes. roomie: oh good. i thought they straight-washed sam for no reason me: i mean. there are a lot of frodo and sam moments that have no heterosexual explanation viggo breaking his toes: me, practically bursting at the seams: roomie: oh god what is it me: DID YOU KNOW-

gandalf is alive: roomie: FUCK YEAH MY BOY

me, explaining the uruk-hai: roomie: fucked up of a yas character to do that tbh (referring to saruman's manicure)

theoden being stubborn at helm's deep: roomie: okay i like him BUT COME ONNN MAN

eowyn picking up merry before they ride to gondor: roomie: I KNOW I WANTED TO KISS HER FOr A REASON MWAH MWAH EOWYN me:...she gets a bf roomie: NOT ANYMORE

aragorn: for frodo roomie, bursting into tears: me: whoa whoa u good roomie: ITS HIS DAD. ITS FRODO'S DAD.

sam literally carrying frodo up a mountain: roomie:...thats a bit gay mount doom blowing up: roomie: thats unecessary and homophobic

frodo sailing to the undying lands: roomie: TAKE YOUR BOYFRIEND WITH YOU YOU COWARD

The Hobbit:

the scene with baby bilbo: roomie: NAUR I LOVE HIM

bilbo and gandalf interacting as adults: roomie: this feels like it could go very wrong thorin finally showing up: roomie: listen im gay but i'd consider it me: he's probably also gay roomie: mlm and wlw solidarity okay we're bffs now

bilbo running out of the door: roomie: again. this feels like this could go very wrong. me, internally: oh fuck how do they KNOW already

thorin throwing down his weapon bc bilbo got caught by trolls: roomie:....thats....sus. me:...if this is sus...oh boy...

thorin's obvious dislike of elves @ rivendell: roomie: okay so. explain to me why thorin doesn't like elves again- me: did you not watch the entire introduction to thorin? roomie: NO WAIT I REMEMBER THE BLOND BITCH

saruman showing up: roomie: ew.

galadriel showing up: roomie: HELLO SAILOR AWOOGA AWOOGA

bilbo and thorin nearly falling off at the mountain pass: thorin: he's been lost ever since he stepped out his front door roomie: WDYM YOU'RE ALL FUCKED UP- thorin stop being mean to your husband

the entirety of the goblin tunnels and gollum: roomie: this does not bode well. at all. the ring showing up: roomie: I WAS RIGHT

azog versus thorin scene: roomie: dumb bitch...OH NO DOES HE DIE- bilbo to the rescue: oh no its chill, just gay

the iconic carrock scene: roomie:....this is incredibly gay bestie me: i'm aware.

the entirety of the beorn's house arc: roomie: ...i like beorn. he's feral and skrunkly. so is radaghast.

legolas showing up: roomie: *surprised pikachu face*

tauriel and kili's interactions: roomie: damn i was hoping she would be gay me: i mean with the right headcanons she can totally be a lesbian roomie: UR SO RIGHT OMG

kili getting shot with arrow: roomie: NO THE GAYS-

the laketown master existing: roomie: EAT THE RICH.

bilbo and thorin on the boat together: roomie: oh they definitely fucked in laketown-

tauriel healing kili and them holding hands: roomie: oh no don't make me feel sad for straight ppl me: again. they don't have to be straight. roomie: I KNOW BUT ITS THE PRINCIPLE OF IT

bilbo waking up smaug: roomie: oh bilbo...oh you sweet summer child...you stupid bitch.

thorin threatening bilbo initially: roomie: oh fuck. it got worse. me, internally: oh honey. oh no.

thorin's gold sickness and then nearly killing bilbo at the ramparts: roomie: NO THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE GAY AND HAPPY HOW COULD YOU

*doesn't say anything almost the entire battle until the kili and fili die* roomie: noooo the skrunklies NOOOOOOO

thorin, fucking dies in bilbo's arms: roomie: *turns to look at me with the most murderous look on her face* me: *nervous laughter* so about it getting worse- roomie: IM GOING TO KILL YOU.

end for now, if we end up watching trop together ill let yall know <3

[rzyraffek]

Alr yall Eddie Gluskin brainrot part 2 or something. ITS MADE FOR MY PERSONAL NEEDS TO VENT ABT HOW MUCH I LOVE HIM ALR DONT JUDGE scroll down for hyper important notes

Tw: eggie gluskin is his own warning, dub-con???(not really tho), erm eddie gluskin??? Ermmm idk yandere? A bit of nsfw (but there's warning beforehand) ALSO REQUEST OPEN FOR EDDIE SIMPS

Silly Eddie Gluskin headcanons

This idea is my personal one (so prepare). Imagine s/o in that spooky psych ward and she just hangs out around Eddie CUZ LETS BE HONEST HE IS THE SAFEST OPION OUT THERE😭 LIKE rest of people there bearly speak and would bite my toes off. Also I would totally get lost, so fallowing this dude is my best option

Tbh he at least pretends that hes nice😭

Also bro is mesmerised by her cuz 'shes not like other whores' cuz she doesnt scream or run away.

After he got attached (so in like 3minutes) he starts to fallow her like lost puppy and has dumb smile on his face for the whole time

He he w- he when he wh- when he- he when-

He is also very physical🥰 if he cant hug he holds hands, AND he talks a lot too... o my god

the only red flag is that he immediately wants to erm have babies 😔 BRO WANTS TO FUCK ON FIRST DATE😰🤯

Home boy 100% commits cannibalism THERES NOTHING TO EAT HERE ALR

Trying to escape WITH Eddie? Like acually from the ward? Say less

Beats up everyone, litteraly everyone. Somone stands near her in 50meter radius? They are totally dangerous mind if i stab?

Fatherless with attachment issues 👍🧍‍♂️

Loves when s/o sits on his lap, and loves being a big spoon. Litteraly melts when she grabs his hand

He 'invites' her on dates and makes some weird ass food (probably cooked rats) and if she refuses to eat he gonna grab that fork and force it inside her cuz darling you need to stay fed and healthy

He is very into domestic type shit, so if shes okay with becoming housewife he is flying away, blushing, kicking, screaming, begging for more. I mean he still would make her a housewife but its cute that she consents and he doest have to do all this threatening and manipulation stuff to make her do so

If she bakes cookies for him he will litteraly has one of those 'its so cute i want to squash it' moments and cup her cheeks and kiss all over (aggressively)

Believes in zodiac signs and tried to learn tarot once

She has to force him to stop using hair gel he looks like he has boat on his head

Looks like he smells nice but I doubt that

Kinda likes when she tries to run away? let's be honest I doubt that s/o was in love with him from the start, he is some random weird looking dude in hospital after all. So yeah he kinda liked (and still does) enjoy the whole prey/hunter thingy

ALR NOW NSFW TIME YALL CHILDREN LOOK AWAY

Lets start with obvious stuff, breeding kink, whole pregnancy stuff, likes his wife cute and obedient, but its kinda fun to chase her around once per few days, see her fear and panic o m g he loves that

He also fucks whenever he wants really, she has to have really good relationship with him to make him lisen and do what she asks him for (to some degree anyways)

Table, chair, wall, bed that he tortures people on, his bed, floor, any place is a good place to make some love

When he's not horny he is acually romantic (rare) he gives neck kisses, holds hands, talks about his plans for future, makes sure that stuff shes wearing and her hair is in good condition, bare minimum yknow

Also I use she/her and 'wife' stuff cuz even if s/o is the most masculine guy ever he is still cute lady in his eyes or something idc

My guy can do fast and rough or slow and deep. Depents of his mood really, if s/o annoyed him or he's just simply frustrated he will be rough, and do it no matter what she was doing, oh you were doing laundry? Not anymore, hop on this washingmachine, we are going on a ride. If he's in more romantic mood and s/o too, he will pick them up, kiss them, do it nice and deep to make sure that s/o feels everything

Tbh he loves 'hunting his prey (shes the prey lol)' prompt so much! Looking for her, feeling her fear... o my god this gets him going so hardddd

Bite marks on her, Hickeys on him

ALSO O MY GOD HER SITTING ON HIS LAP? omg imagine, s/o riding him, Eddie guiding her hips with hands HE DIES OMG YOIR SO CUTEEE

NOT ME WRITING WHOLE ARTICLE ABOUT EGGIE FUCKING GLUSKIN OMG IM SORRY😭 ALSO I was attacked by horse 2days ago and zapped by electric fence twice, just to buy a kebab, Im a survivor you all