#but i dont think he could ever truly forgive him for siding with their mother and trying to destroy their family. anyway fjdsla | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

house-of-slayterr · 2 years

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Get Groovy With It:

Based on @howl-fantasies earlier post: @keffirinne @flaysthings

I looked over at Oswald with a slight glare in my eyes.

“Are you really still punishing me for running away?”

Oswald stared past me, ignore me as he spoke to the staff around him. I crossed my arms over my chest and huffed loudly.

“And now you’re ignoring me. Fantastic!” I mumbled.

This caught his attention. Oswald hated when people weren’t clear.

“What was that?“ he asked, testing me.

“I said… you know what, it doesn’t matter what I said. You weren’t listening in the first place.”

It was Oswald turn to sigh. He finally fully turned away from the hostess and wobbled over to where I stood in the centre of the room. Despite the jacket I wore, the room suddenly felt cold.

“You accuse me of not listening but that’s not true. I simply had nothing to say. It was a stupid question.”

“And this is a stupid punishment. Ozzy all I wanted was to go home, I wasn’t aware that was a crime.”

When he finally reached me he attempted to look big. Despite his stature, I’d witnessed this man first hand make other grown men shrink before him, yet here I stand. I straightened, looking down at him with the most authoritative look I could offer.

“I am a grown woman. I can handle myself.”

He shook his head.

“A grown woman who’s been kidnapped, what twice… three times now? Maggie, you haven’t even been in Gotham 3 full months yet. That’s a record, even for Gotham standards.”

“The threat was neutralised.” I pleaded.

“A threat was neutralised.” He put emphasis on the A. “But people know you matter to me now. And people who want to hurt me, will gladly harm you without a second thought. Therefore it’s my responsibility to keep you safe. Besides, my mother raised me to be a gentleman, she’d never forgive me if I let you go.”

I frowned. This was an obvious manipulation tactic. But I couldn’t help but hear the sincerity behind his words. Oz could be sweet when he wanted. But he could also be deadly, and I had to remember that when testing my place at his side. It seems I’d been caught up in my train of thought, when I suddenly felt a hand on my cheek. The next réalisation being that my face was wet, why was it wet?

In the most gentle voice I think I’d ever heard him muster, Oswald spoke up.

“Why are you crying? Did I- did I upset you?” He asked, hesitantly.

I let out a wry chuckle, shrugging off his hand, but quickly missing the warmth it brought.

“I’m not crying.”

“Maggie…” he warned.

“I- I don’t know how to answer that. It’s all just, a lot. I came here to start over, clear my head, but it seems like this stupid funk just follows where ever I go. And unfortunately swallows everything in its path.”

It was his turn to frown. He reached for me once again, but this time stopping to ask for my permission. He lead me over to a chair and sat me down, evening out our eye level.

“I dont think I understand.”

He rubbed his hand up and down my arm to try to calm me. I could feel my tears drying and I was glad this embarrassing moment to be over. I hated crying in front of people.

“Honestly don’t worry about it Ozzy. I don’t even think I understand what I mean.” My laugh was more genuine this time. I wiped the last year from my eye and placed my hand on his shoulder.

“Can we just agree to clearly communicate boundaries from here on out?”

He nodded.

“Of course. Would you like to start?”

I took a deep breath. Desperately hoping not to dampen the mood more than I already had.

“I want my own space…” I started.

“But you have a room-“

“That isn’t you Mothers. I’m always afraid I’ll touch something and it will break. And that would break my heart, truly. And I don’t just mean inside of the house Oswald. I want somewhere I can go to just be by myself, but I have the feeling you’re not going to let me keep my apartment.”

“It’s not safe there. Too many people know where you live and how to break in. Even Jim said you haven’t fixed the locks since last time.”

“You spoke with Jim?”

He nodded again.

“Besides, that old place is gross. You deserve far better.”

“I bought that “gross” place with my own hard earned money, fuck you very much.”

I lightened my tone at the end to make sure he knew I was being playful. He rolled his eyes.

“And I’m assuming you’re going to ask to keep your job.”

“We’ll that would be preferred. I do need money, and I kinda actually like it there. Besides, Y/N stops by enough that I don’t think any criminal would be dumb enough to try and rob us again.”

“Alright, your own place and your job. Anything else?”

“Wait really? You’re not going to fight me on this?”

“As much as I dislike it, I want you to be happy. But your safety is still paramount to me. I’ll get you a place close to the mansion. At least one guard on the street at all times, who you’ll have the number for if you encounter any problems. As for the job, like you said, Y/N stops by enough, she’ll check in on you. Anywhere else, you’ll just have to let either me or Victor or that incessant woman know where you’re going.”

“Gee I feel like a toddler. But fine, I’ll agree. But this means you have to trust me Oswald. No snooping, or having people follow me that I don’t know about ok. I’ll tell you everything you need to know because we’re friends, all you have to do is ask.”

“Deal.”

I smiled, pulling him into an almost suffocating hug. But it was much needed to clear the tension.

“Now why don’t you go get ready, the parties only in a few hours.”

“Whatever you say boss!” I joked.

I watched as Oswald rolled his eyes, shaking his head in distaste. I ran off to my room, taking a brisk shower. I put on an old Jackson 5 record and let the music sooth me. I knew the party would be overwhelming and I wasn’t looking forward to it. I wrapped a towel around my body and walked out into my room, drying my hair. I nearly jumped out of my skin when I looked up.

“Hello Love.” Y/N said, with a big smirk on her face.

“Christ on a bicycle, the hell are you doing!?!” I shouted.

She simply chuckled and stood up from where she sat on my bed.

“Your outfit for the party was delivered.”

“And you couldn’t have just left it on the bed? I am self sufficient you know, I can read between the lines.”

“I know baby bird, but Mama bird (Oswald) is a tad antsy today. He told me about your little chat, bold move I must say. He wants to make sure you’re on you best behaviour for the party tonight. Important people will be there.”

I frowned. Snatching the clothing bag from her hands. She held her hands up in mock surrender, still amused by my foul mood. I glared at her.

“Don’t you have to get ready as well? I’m sure Oswald doesn’t approve of assassin chic, kinda goes against his theme.”

She rolled her eyes.

“Fine, meet me in my room in 10 minutes, if you’re late I’m sending Victor. And you know how he loves it when his prey puts up a fight.” She purred.

I shoved her out the door and slammed it shut, stomping over to my bathroom and unzipping the garment bag. I had to admit, Oswald did have good taste. I ran my hands over the expensive looking fabric. It reminded me of the dresses Moira used to make Thea and I wear during charity balls. But it had so much more character. Not you’re typical, Princess, ballgown bullshit. I couldn’t help but let all my anger melt away when I pulled it on.

It fit perfectly. It always surprised me how Oswald just new what to get me. In the spirit of the theme, I grabbed a pair of white gogo pumps form my closet and made my way over to Y/N room. I knocked once before the door flung open. And I nearly had to pick my jaw up off the floor. Y/N looked stunning. Well more so than usual. Her outfit was simple, but it flattered her every curve.

“Like what you see?” She mused.

“I don’t think Victor is gonna be able to keep his eyes- scratch that, hands off of you.” I mumbled.

She pulled me into the room and sat me down in the chair. She began to toy with my hair and dose my face in makeup. I enjoyed these simple moments. Not words spoken, no threats, nobody trying to kill us. It was peaceful. Moments like this really made me miss Thea. As time got closer she linked arms with mine and we made our way to wear the party was.

Oswald has his back turned, but a whistle from Y/N caught his attention. It was almost funny seeing how wide his eyes got. I had to bite back a giggle. He rushed over to me and looked me over, spinning me round by my hand.

“I knew it would be perfect on you.” He complimented.

“Thank you Ozzy. I honestly adore this dress. Where did you get it?”

“I may have had it stolen from the wardrobe of a certain 70’s icon.”

“No!” I exclaimed. “Oswald you’re the worst” I said, lighthearted.

“What can I say, I know how to keep my girl happy.”

Most people would have blushed at that phrase. But I knew what he meant. I was his in the most literal sense, no romance, barley even love. Just raw and total obsession, and a blossoming friendship. A relationship that would be uncomfortable to most, but it was far better than being his enemy.

“And you, my dear exterminator, actually look nice. Well done.”

I have Oswald a shocked look, and reached out my hand to touch his forehead.

“What?” He asked.

“No fever. Are you feeling alright?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“You’re being nice… to Y/N… you didn’t call her a Harlot, concubine… who are you and what have you done with Oswald Copplepot?” I jeered.

He rolled his eyes and pushed my hand away. Y/N but back a laugh from where she stood. As Oswald wobbled away, she gave me a small high five.

“You know sometimes I’m glad we kept you around.”

“Thanks.” I deadpanned.

The party quickly swelled. I stayed at the edges, watching from the wall. A glass of champagne held firmly in my hands. I knew very well Oswald had invited Jim to this party, and I wasn’t very keen on running into him again. Especially not after our last meeting. I can’t believe he questioned me about the Narrows, having the audacity to slander my company when he hangs out with the likes of crooked cops and lawyers. It was distasteful and utterly rude. But I bet he looked handsome tonight. I quickly shook the thought from my head, downing the alcohol quickly.

I made my way through the crowd of writhing bodies and towards the front where Oswald stood chatting. He seemed to be quite into his conversation which lead me to believe he was talking to one of the more important guests. B it I got sidetracked when a flash of green cross my vision.

“Edward?” I asked.

The man turned to me, looking like a deer in the headlights. He stumbled over his footing slightly, but caught himself.

“M-Maggie? I almost didn’t recognise you. You look so… beautiful-“

“Thank you, truly” I sassed.

“Oh, god that’s not what I meant. Ummm- what’s owed, but never given freely?” He slurred out.

“An apology. You’re forgiven.”

He placed a mocking hand over his heart in relief.

“I must admit, you look quite nice yourself. Who knew green could look so boogie-riffic”

“That was awful.”

“You deserved to have to hear that. Want a drink?”

“Please.”

I lead him over to the minibar, locking elbows with him. He was quite nervous, from the sheen on his brow and the slight tremor in his hand. Maybe alcohol would loosen him up a little.

“Trouble in paradise?” I guessed.

“What? No. Who would I- you’d not mean- we aren’t speaking at the moment.”

“What did he like kill your girlfriend or something?” I joked.

I instantly regretted my choice of words when I saw Edward choke on his drink. I quickly patted his back, to try and help him out. I gave him a moment to adjust to breathing again.

“Don’t tell me he actually did!”

“It’s not confirmed, but somebody cut the breaks on Isabella’s car. He’s jealous enough I wouldn’t put it past him. I mean you know how he is, almost better than any of us.”

“Edward, I’m so sorry”

“Why are you apologising? You did nothing wrong. You can’t control him anymore than I can.”

“Yeah, but if I’d known- I’ll talk to him, see if I can get you some confirmation or closure of any kind. I truly am sorry for your loss though. I guess none of us are particularly lucky in the romance department.”

I quickly downed another flute of campagne, already starting to feel the effects of the alcohol buzzing through me.

“Maybe you should slow down.” Edward offered.

“On the contrary, I don’t think I particularly want to remember this evening. You gonna finish that?”

Before he could answer, I grabbed the glass from his hand and chugged it. Making my way once more toward Oswald. This time on much more of a mission. But I was yet again interrupted.

“Maggie!” A voice called.

I had to physically prevent myself from rolling my eyes. I turned to great the intruder.

“Lee, don’t you look lovely” I made fake nice.

“Thanks. I never expected Oswald to throw a party like this. Let alone that I’d get an invitation.”

“Oswald likes to make friends with those in the GCPD he doesn’t have immediate control over. It helps calm his paranoia.” I explained.

I bit back a smile as she scrunched her face in disgust. Her discomfort brought me a sick s’en est of glee. I understood now why Y/N always loved to make others squirm.

“We’ll I hope you enjoy the rest of the party, if you’ll excuse me.”

I didn’t want to converse with her any longer, knowing where she went Jim wasn’t far to fallow. He’s like a stupid lovesick puppy, pining over someone who doesn’t even deserve him. But as I moved through the crowd, I lost sight of Oswald. I let out a heavy sigh. Until I felt an arm slink around my waist. I looked up to see Y/N.

“Somebodies had a little fun at the bar.” She mused.

“Guilty.” I deadpanned.

“The boss wants you to go dance with our esteemed guest, butter him up a little.”

I frowned.

“Don’t do that, you’ll get wrinkles and ruin all my hard work.” The older woman scolded.

“I don’t dance. But thanks.”

I tried to walk away, but I should have known better. If there was something Y/N hated more than a half assed hit, it was being on the receiving end of Oswald’s whining. She tightened her grip on my wrist, and I shot a violent glare her way.

“I’ll just tell Oswald no.”

“Yeah, not tonight sweetheart. I admire your defiance, it’s honestly adorable. But Oswald really needs to seal this deal, and unfortunately you’re the hot wax.”

I stoped trying to pull against her, knowing it was useless.

“Gotta say, never been compared to wax before. Kinda demeaning. But I suppose it’s no worse than being forced to dance with a stranger.”

“Oh come on Kitten, it won’t be that bad.”

Her eyes moved behind me, and before I had a chance to follow them, I heard a familiar click.

“The boss asked you to dance, don’t make my girl ask you again.” Victors voice came.

It was cold, more so than usual. Clearly he was in a mood, and I have just enough self preservation left to not push his buttons, or more aptly, pull his trigger. I slowly turned my head, the barrel now pointed right between my eyes. I wasn’t surprised when nobody stopped to look at the scene, this was Gotham after all. Some people had the smarts to mind their own damn business. Y/N dropped her grip, turning her attention to her husband now.

“I had it handled.”

“My ways more fun, Sweetness.”

He brought his stare down on me, and I dared to stare right back. Nobody spoke for what felt like forever. I took a single step forward, forcing him to press the barrel into my skin.

“Promise to shoot me after this is done?”

I batted my eyes up at him, in a silent plea. Victor finally broke his icy gaze and let out a single hearty laugh.

“You’re cute when you’re angry.” He decided.

He holstered his gun and ruffled my hair. But Y/N quickly swatted his hand away.

“Stop ruining my masterpiece.” She fixed my hair. “Now go, mingle, make the man feel important. Fuck him if you have to, I don’t care. If you do my proud, I’ll send Jim on a wolf goose chase for you and let you watch.”

“Deal.”

“That’s my girl.” She shooed me away.

“Remember your body is your biggest asset!” She shouted after me.

I made my way over to the man I saw Oswald speaking to earlier. He wasn’t exactly bad looking, but certainly not my type. I could tell just form his body language he’s was arrogant. This was going to be a long night. God if I had to dance with this idiot and actually hold a conversation, I was going to get something out of it. I chose just the right moment to pretend to trip, crashing into his surprisingly strong arms. I wrapped my hands around his middle to steady myself, and while he was distracted I reached into his back pocket, stealing his wallet.

“Woah.” He said.

He steadied me, and as I backed up, I quickly slid the wallet into Butch’s pocket as he walked by. I could get it off him later.

“Omg, I’m so sorry.” I faked the most bimboesque voice I could come up with.

“It’s ok pretty lady.”

I had to stop myself from visibly shuttering at his complement.

“Roman, Sionis. And what might you’re name be? Wait let me guess!”

I fought the urge to roll my eyes. I wasn’t even sure if I wanted to trust him with my real name. Just hearing it come out of his mouth might make me loose my alcohol.

“You can call me whatever you want handsome.” I flirted.

“How about Angel, that’s what you’re dressed like. You’ve got to be the prettiest thing in this whole joint”.

I let out a little giggle. God I might have actually preferred it if Vic shot me. At least my headache wouldn’t be nearly as bad.

“Oh, I love this song!” He announced. “Turn it up!” He shouted.

He turned out his hand, reaching it out for me to grab. I let him lead me to the floor. It was awkward as most of the eyes were on us now. Even Oswald was looking at us.

“Hang on.” I muttered.

I quickly ripped off the bottom of my skirt, knowing it would just get in the way if I was actually going to dance. Plus it wouldn’t hurt for me to show a little bit of leg. As the music because you swell I took one deep breath before getting in the zone. If I was gonna do this, I sure as hell wasn’t making a fool out of myself.

youtube

He pulled me close as the song came to an end, and I let out a laugh. That was way more fun than I was expecting, I had to give him credit. I hide my face in his chest as the crowed began to clap. I was almost positive Jim had watched the whole thing, along with everyone else at the party. Maybe the drinks weren’t such a bad idea after all.

“Come on, why don’t we take this somewhere more private” he whispered to me.

I woefully agreed. Not wanting to fuck up whatever deal it was Oswald was trying to land with Roman. I had a feeling despite how nice he was currently being, he had a very bad side to him as well. And I wasn’t itching to get on it. I heard Vic wolf whistle after me and I wanted to punch him in the throat. He pulled me to a room at the end of the hallway.

“So, My Angel, where’d you learn to dance like that?”

“A lady never reveals her secrets.”

He playfully rolled his eyes at me. He placed his hand on my thigh, and I couldn’t bring myself to care. I didn’t understand how one man could be so charismatic, he had to be hiding something.

“So Oswald was telling me-“

“Oh so that’s what this is about huh? He sent you to get my response.”

I bit my lip, cursing myself under my breath.

“So what if he did? I could always go out there and find a new dance partner. If that’s what you want.”

I went to get up, but he pulled me back down.

“I don’t think so Angel, you aren’t getting away that easily. Tell Oswald the deal is on.”

I smirked. God I was good. But I got caught up in the moment.

“I’d rather be doing something else.” I flirted.

The alcohol was definitely taking effect now.

“So no more…” he purred.

Pulling me into a passionate kiss. Oh course I’ve had better, but drunk brain didn’t really care right now. And as things progressed my mind kept thinking back to Jim. I for sure didn’t want to remember tonight now.

An: sorry this took so long. I’ve been in and out of hospital. And as such I’ve been very tired. But this was so much fun to write. We’re just gonna pretend Roman is cannon in the Gotham timeline. And Birds of Prey Zsasz doesn’t exist, I hated him so much 🤮

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knight3system · 1 year

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I just...want to feel safe. I want a safe home. I want a safe life. I'm working towards it but honestly I'm bitter that I had to create that for myself- I'll never get to feel safe around my parents ever again. I may not ever get to see my mother again. Hug her again. Be happy around her again. I deserve that. It's not selfish to say i deserved and deserve to feel entitled to safety with my family. But I'll never get that. I'll never get to experience a healthy family dynamic which i don't create. I'll never be truly taken care of like a child should be. Yes, i am an adult. But i still feel like a child sometimes. She deserves safety. She deserves to be taken care of. She deserves to be loved.

Y'know...the odds of anyone, but specifically me, to be born are astronomically low. And yet I'm here. I'm thankful I am. I am truly grateful to be on earth and be living a life. But sometimes...i can't help but think it would be better off without me here. I wouldn't have gone through so much pain as a child. I'm not saying I wish I wasn't here. But sometimes i can't help to think, y'know? I don't know. I don't want to hurt myself now. I'm healing from that mindset.

...I never talk to my "family" anymore. I don't trust them. I can't trust them. Even If i love them. Theyre just going to hurt me again. They talk to me as if everything is just okay...and i don't hate them and i miss them...but they hurt me. They betrayed my trust. I can't be around them without my gut yelling at me. But i miss them so much. Even with how much they hurt me, i want to hug them and have fun with them and be a family. I crave that feeling so much. I want a family that makes me feel safe. The entire thought of acting like a family doesn't feel right to me now. They ruined it for me. They ruined the one thing I've wanted since I was a kid. Being in a family feels fake now. It doesn't feel right. it's all lies.

I don't even want revenge. I don't want them to hurt. I just want an apology from them. I just want things to be as happy as they could be. I want the feeling of a safe family. I dont think I could ever trust them, or i don't think they would ever make me feel safe. They would just hurt me again, i know they would. Force me to be around my father. Yell at me. Expect too much of me. Do they even know how much they've hurt me? Do they even think I deserve an apology? Do they even care about me? Do they even want to see me again? Do they just want me to fade away into my own life because it's easier to take my father's side than acknowledge what he did to me? I don't know. Maybe they do care for me. Maybe they miss me. Maybe they want to apologize. But can I trust them not to hurt me Again? If so, will I ever feel safe around them?

Carrying all of this and just trying to live my life hurts so much. Imagine how good i would be if i was actually taught life skills i needed, if o was taught how to drive, etc. I would be in college right now! I would be driving! I would be living my life. They robbed all of that from me. The way my parents "raised" me hurt me more than helped. I could've done so much by now. I would be close to graduating college. I just...think it's stupid I have to live my life like this because of there stupid decisions. Does my father even care how much he hurt me? Those other girls? He should. I hate him. I actually hate him. There is nothing that he could do or say that would make me forgive him. He hurt my mom. He used me. He's just out there...living his life. It pisses me off. Why does he not have to fight for his life when he never taught me how to even live mine? I don't know...i dont actually want to hurt him. I want to yell at him. I want to express my anger and I want him to listen. I want him to understand exactly how much he ruined my life.

#tw vent

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silentmoths · 1 year

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I hope you’re doing okay, Lex.

Sometimes, parents or relatives or just any other person can be projecting how they feel about themselves onto other people. Not that I’m justifying their actions in anyway. I also recently didn’t know that a very close cousin of ours didn’t invite anybody from their entire father’s side of the family to his wedding of which he told none of us.

It feels like a stab in the gut and simultaneously like they just destroyed their last chance of showing they actually care for you. Especially since we have been supporting them for years after their father, my uncle, passed away a few years ago.

However, I can say that it will get better. Sometimes we go through such scenarios in life in order to see the true person we’ve been actually thinking or dealing with all this time.

I truly hope you forget about such people in your life and that you’d eventually fell better. Sometimes ranting to your irl friends or your S/O can help as well to get rid of your frustrations. Love you and stay safe 💛🫂

Hey anon, I'm...doing about as well as I can I guess but honestly, Im a bitch who lives a pretty secluded life and I dont really get chances to dump my feelings out often so forgive me for using this as a moment to get..well, everything off my chest.

definitely a case of 'moth is getting probably too loose w their personal life on the internet' but at this point? I really just...dont care anymore.

Some context: parents have been divorced since I was three, thats fine, no big.

But my dad, whom I havent spoken with properly since 2016, has a habit of descending from on high to drop earth shattering revelations on me and then vanish again

last week he suddenly asked if I could be the executor of his will, me, a 25 year old who has no idea what any of that shit entails, but I say yes anyway because there was only one other person he had ever had as his executor and I had assumed something may have happened between them.

I ask my sister in law, who's mother is in a relationship with this person.

Today, I get a message from my lovely father again telling me he's dissapointed that I've gone and said something to said sister in law, who knows my dad well, she used to live three houses down from him and I knew her throughout my childhood, and now I have apparently caused a 'rift' in a 40 year friendship because I was worried for his friends health and assumed that's why I'm suddenly being given this shit monument of a task.

On top of that, this is when the wedding for said family friend gets brought up, this is the first i've ever heard of it, like I knew they were engaged but like, the date is set, dad had already declined his invite because my mum will be there and neither of my shitass folks can put their differences aside for one goddamn night, oh and I'm apparently not important enough/ thought of enough to be invited.

Im...honestly reaching the point where I wish he'd just hurry up and die so I can get this over with and actually fucking live my life without him descending every other month to tell me about his bowel cancer and how he's not doing anything about it like im glad to hear that the one parent who actually gave a shit about me when i was small is just letting himself die and honestly knowing him, he's going to speed it up in some way and here I am doing nothing about it because what the fuck can I do.

So for now I just sit, and wait, and try not to think about it.

my partner has been a godsend, his parents know more about executing wills than I do, but it's still something that I have to do mostly on my own and I'm scared im going to fuck it up.

#silentmothasks #moth is not silent #if you dont want ur mood dragged down dont read this post #im just vomiting words to stave off a breakdown

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atlabeth · 3 years

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everything happens for a reason part one - zuko x fem!reader

I am not your concern

masterlist | part 2

summary: as a servant in the fire nation, you’ve learned that life is often unfair. but as you venture through a tumultuous relationship with a certain prince, you come to learn a very tricky lesson: everything happens for a reason.

a/n: im so excited about this guys you dont even know. i have so much planned and i hope you all love it as much as i do - just for reference, in this first chapter y/n is 9 and zuko is 10

wc: 2.3k

warning(s): mentions of a raid, reader and zuko both being little shits lmao

chapter title comes from not your concern by the hush sound!

Y/N sprawled out on the grass and sighed contentedly as the sun shined down on her and her mother. Today was easier than most as they had been given the day off, an occasion that was rare in the royal palace. She closed her eyes and breathed in the fresh scent aerating their surroundings. Her senses were blessed with a mix of sea salt and fire lilies, an ever present reminder of the two worlds she walked in.

“Y/N,” her mother chided as she glanced down at her daughter from her sewing. “You shouldn’t lay in the grass like that. You know how hard those stains are to get out; I don’t need even more work on my plate.”

“Yes, mother,” she sighed as she sat up with mock exasperation. “I just feel like I should take advantage of this! We spend all day inside, and now that we’re out here you’re worried about things like stained clothes.” Y/N pushed herself to her feet and spread her arms out as she spun in a small circle. “Life is short, and I already spend all of it sewing and healing. Don’t you think I deserve some grass stains?”

“Did you find your way into the poetry books again?” she joked. “Of course I think you should have fun, but you know how things are here. I’m just trying to keep you safe.”

She continued to twirl, the soft breeze a welcome sensation on her skin. “I know, I know, but you don’t need to worry! I can—”

“Dear, watch where you’re going!”

Her mother’s warning didn’t reach her in time, a fact that became known to Y/N as she collided into the boy in front of her. A small gasp escaped her as recognition filled her now wide eyes.

“Prince Zuko!” she exclaimed, nervous hands finding their positions as she bowed. “Please forgive me for the accident, I didn’t realize you were there.”

Y/N had never spoken to the young prince directly — she mainly shadowed her mother while she did her work around the palace or honed her healing abilities under the watchful eye of Rika, their most skilled healer — but she knew enough to understand that she was to never disrespect the royal family in any way.

“Don’t worry,” he said with a small smile, alleviating the tension that had built up in her shoulders. “I’m sorry too, I wasn’t paying attention either. I actually came here for some help.” As she straightened her back, she noticed the bundle of fabric he was holding. “Are you Kura?”

“Oh, no. That’s my mother.” She pointed behind her where her mother greeted the prince with a respectful nod and smile of her own. “Did you come to get something fixed? She’s the best seamstress in all of the Four Nations.”

“My daughter flatters me,” Kura chucked. “What is it that you require, Prince Zuko?”

“She’s right, actually.” He held up the bundle of cloth which Y/N now recognized as one of the many outfits he owned. She didn’t consider herself a jealous person, but the prince’s extensive wardrobe was an exception to that rule. She had one set uniform for her work supplied by the Fire Nation, and a threadbare set for everything else that her mother had bought for her after saving up what little copper they had to spare. Y/N didn’t mind it too much as she was able to practice her sewing whenever the seams broke, but she was sure that her handiwork made up more of the outfit than the original by now.

“I tore one of the sleeves while I was training with Azula,” Zuko expressed with a frown. “I showed it to my mother, and she said that Kura would be able to fix it. I had to go through every single servant to find you, so I really hope you can. ”

Kura set her current project down and took the cloth from the prince, examining it with the skillful eye of a seamstress before meeting his eyes with another smile. “Of course, dear. I should have it ready for you by tomorrow; my daughter will deliver it to your quarters around midday.”

“Do it well,” he demanded. “I can’t focus on my training if my clothes are falling apart.”

“Hey!” she spoke up, scowling as she crossed her arms. It was like every shred of sense Y/N had disappeared the moment he talked down to her mother. “This is our day off, so you should be thankful that my mother is taking time out of her day to do this for you. Be nicer to her.”

“Y/N!” her mother scolded, her tone frantically apologetic as she turned back to the prince. “Please, forgive my daughter. She speaks her mind far too often, she doesn’t mean any disrespect.”

“No, you’re right.” A thoughtful expression found its way onto the young boy’s features, his eyes trained on her own displeasure. “My father always talks that way to the servants and I guess it came off on me. I’m sorry. It’s not nice.”

“Apology accepted,” Y/N said reluctantly.

“Thank you for your help. I’ll make sure to tell all my friends about your work.” The young prince smiled and walked off, though not without a curious second glance at the girl who righted his wrong.

As soon as the prince was out of range, Kura began to berate her daughter. “Y/N, by now you have to understand that under no circumstances may you ever speak to a member of the royal family like that! Do you know what kind of punishment you could’ve gotten if anyone else was around to hear that?”

She sighed and settled back on the ground, plucking a blade of grass from the ground. “I know, mother, but he needs to learn manners, prince or not!”

“That’s not how it works here. Our job is to serve the royal family without question. Sometimes they say mean things, but we can’t do anything about it. Apologies are not yours to demand or accept.”

“That’s not fair,” she mumbled as she wrapped the strand of grass around her finger. “Back home I could say whatever I wanted.”

“I know, honey, I know. But we’re not at home anymore, so the rules there don’t apply. We have to follow the rules that are put in place here. Can you promise that you’ll do that for me?”

“Yes, mother.” It was a phrase that seemed to always be at the tip of her tongue now that constant apologies were littered throughout her days, usually accompanied by a sigh.

“I miss home,” The murmured sentiment was almost too soft for Kura to hear and her heart sank. Her daughter’s gaze was trained on the ground, idle fingers tapping against her legs, and she put a momentary pause to her sewing with a sigh.

“Dear, don’t you have a healing session today with Rika?”

“You know I don’t,” she grumbled. “It’s my day off, which no one seems to remember.”

“Y/N.” Kura’s voice was more firm and she now understood that it wasn’t so much a suggestion as a demand. “I think you should pay Rika a visit.”

She heaved an exasperated sigh and stood up in a far more exaggerated gesture than necessary. “Alright. I’ll see you later tonight, mother.” And as Y/N began her walk back to the palace, a sour feeling brewed in her chest.

Kura watched on, unable to prevent the fear that permeated her thoughts. They were fortunate that the young prince was generous, but along with his mother they might’ve been the only two who shared those views in the royal family. She hated having to constantly admonish her daughter — the girl was too young to constantly live in fear, especially having already been through so much — but in the Fire Nation they couldn’t afford to do anything less. A spitfire girl like her daughter was constantly treading on thin ice, and it was all she could do to keep her safe.

Kura feared the day when she wasn’t there to protect her.

After a short walk that consisted of muttering things to herself and taking her anger out on the pebbles unfortunate enough to be in her path, Y/N found herself back at the palace. She let herself into a side entrance meant only for servants and set on her way to the infirmary when she collided with someone else — an apology was already on the tip of her tongue when she recognized it was Prince Zuko once more. She truly had rotten luck.

Y/N shot quick glances around to ensure that they were alone, then lowered her voice just for extra security. “My mom says I’m not supposed to talk to you like this, but I don’t care. Just because you’re the prince doesn’t mean you can just go around bumping into people!” she whispered angrily.

“But— you were the one who bumped into me the first time!”

She could feel her face heat up from embarrassment and she crossed her arms. “Just— whatever! Do you want something or do you just like popping up in places you're not supposed to be?”

“I guess I just wanted to talk to you,” Zuko shrugged. “I’ve never really seen you around before, and you’re interesting.”

Y/N scrutinized him trying to find out if he was tricking her somehow, but after staring at him for a solid ten seconds she finally caved. “Fine,” she said, already beginning to walk. “But you’d better make it fast. I have to get to a healing session.”

He took a few quick steps to catch up to her and frowned. “I’m the prince. Technically I could order you to stop and you would have to listen.”

“Yeah, well when it’s just the two of us, you’re just another boy. I don’t have time to talk to boys for hours.”

His brows creased for a moment as he thought about it, then ultimately shrugged once more. “Okay. You said you were going to a healing session- does that mean you’re a waterbender?”

She nodded, and Zuko waited for her to explain further. He heaved a sigh, realizing that he was going to have to carry this conversation. “Well.. what’s a waterbender doing in the Fire Nation?”

She fixed him with a puzzled look. “I’m a servant. That’s why I’m here.”

“I know that,” he frowned. “But most of the servants here are from the Fire Nation, and there are hardly any around your age. I’m just trying to get to know you better.”

Y/N sighed heavily — she now knew that the child prince of the Fire Nation had zero sense of boundaries, and if she wanted to get him off her back she had to answer to his satisfaction. “My mother is a waterbender from the Northern Tribe. She left home when she was young to travel the world and help who she could with her healing, and eventually she fell in love with an earthbender. That was my father — they ended up marrying and settling down in his village where they had me a few years later. Last month, my village was raided by the Fire Nation, and my mother and I were captured after they discovered we were waterbenders. And now I’m here, being annoyed by a prince.”

Zuko frowned once more — it seemed if he continued hanging out with this girl the expression would be stuck permanently on his face — and he suddenly felt ashamed for pushing. “I’m really sorry,” he muttered. “I had no idea.”

She heaved another sigh and shook her head. “Yeah, well they probably keep a lot of the bad things they do from you. It’s easier to send raids to destroy families when your children don’t know.”

“What happened to your father?” he questioned.

Y/N’s body stiffened, and she had never been more thankful to see the infirmary door. “Save your questions for next time,” she grumbled.

Zuko’s eyes lit up, her earlier stumble going unnoticed, and a small smile found its way across his lips. “There’s gonna be a next time?”

She managed to cover up her own growing smile with an ambivalent shrug. “As long as you don’t bump into me again.” Y/N opened the door and gave him a polite parting nod before disappearing inside.

“Good afternoon, Master Rika,” she said with a small bow. “I know this is unexpected, but my mother insisted that I come here to—”

“Let me guess,” the older woman interrupted with a raised brow. “Kura got tired of you and sent you here to annoy me instead?”

Y/N chuckled and rolled her eyes good-naturedly as she pushed the sleeves of her tunic up to her elbows. “When have I ever annoyed you?”

“That’s a question you don’t want me to answer,” she joked as she rummaged through the closet to get supplies. “Besides, what was that smile for? Meet a boy on your day off? A girl?”

Her eyes widened momentarily and she felt the heat rush to her cheeks intensely. “I don’t ask you about your life while we heal, you shouldn’t ask about mine!”

Zuko, who had been eavesdropping by the door in an extremely un-covert fashion, felt an even bigger smile. The girl was prickly as a cactus, but he found himself strangely drawn to her — not in spite of it, but because of it. He was so used to anyone he talked to outside of his immediate family and friends bending at the knee to fulfill his every will, and it was exhausting at times. But this girl — Y/N, as he had learned — was the complete opposite.

He started to walk away, sure that he was late for some kind of session of his own. Zuko found himself thinking of the glimpse of a smile he got, already finding himself scheming up ways to make it return.

And despite her request, he was almost certain he would try to bump into her again.

#zuko x reader #zuko x you #zuko fic #zuko #avatar the last airbender #avatar #atla #a:tla #avatar fic #atla fic #self insert #reader insert #avatar x reader #sadie writes

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extravaguk · 3 years

Text

sex education 2.0

pairing: college!au, jungkook x reader

summary: "Are you calling me boring?" Jungkook gasps dramatically, looking at you dumbfounded and visibly offended. You roll your eyes, taking a napkin and leaning forward to wipe the crumbs of garlic bread on his lips.

"First of all, don't talk with your mouth full, you pig. Second of all," you stop to take a sip of your coke, aware of Jungkook's expectant eyes on you. "A little, yeah."

wordcount: 9k

genre: smut - angst(? not rlly - fluff, like tons bc im a slut for fluff

rated: m (duh!2.0)

warnings: alcohol and weed consumption, just jk and tae being bros having bro convos, switch!reader, switch!jk, but mostly dom!jk, dirty talk, glimpses of poorly written bdsm, reader being a jealous and ‘insecure little bitch’ (her words, not mine),slapping (dont worry i tried to make it funny), how i met your mother spoilers (sorry im a gemini i spoil shit), spanking, degradation kink, back at it again with the spit kink, slight anal play, beware!of jungkook being a sweetheart, a lil mean at the end but a sweetheart nontheless.

read sex education here!

Three months of being in an actual commitment with Jeon Jungkook, your brother's partner in crime since the young age of five and, therefore, a common denominator throughout your childhood and teenage years, has proven to you a few things you never knew you would discover about the boy himself: Jeon Jungkook is definitely not what you thought him to be.

You thought growing up with him would've been enough telltale about everything that made Jungkook be, well, Jungkook. He wasn't as immature as you had believed prior to the beginning of your relationship, he was funnier than you remembered -although maybe you found him funnier now that Taehyung wasn't in the picture to interfere with infantile inside jokes that you never were able to grasp-, and smarter than he had ever let you known before. Although you're sure the main reason his grades had started to improve was solely you and the way you rewarded him by opening your legs everytime he passed an exam.

But above all, if there was something that had truly surprised you about Jeon Jungkook was the fact that he was truly an absolutely and undeniably softie.

You loved it. Loved the random scribbled love notes he sometimes left in your backpack before kissing you goodbye to leave for his own class, loved the Spotify playlists he made exclusively just for you -with genres that varied between sappy and romantic and wanting to tear your 'wet ass pussy' in two-, loved the late night texts filled with emojis telling you how much he missed you when both of you were too busy doing assignments and studying to see each other -even if it hadn't even been 48 hours since you last saw each other-. You loved how careful and sweet and thoughtful he was. You really did.

But.

"Are you calling me boring?" Jungkook gasps dramatically, looking at you dumbfounded and visibly offended. You roll your eyes, taking a napkin and leaning forward to wipe the crumbs of garlic bread on his lips.

"First of all, don't talk with your mouth full, you pig. Second of all," you stop to take a sip of your coke, aware of Jungkook's expectant eyes on you. "A little, yeah." His mouth falls open and you supress a laugh. You really shouldn't be enjoying this so much, but there's something about Jungkook's reaction to his ego being bruised and that terribly adorable pout on his face that just makes your insides tingle with joy.

"What do you mean? I've had plenty of girls in bed before you, like a whole lot, and none of them have ever called me boring! They loved this adventurous and fun dick, alright? Why do you think-" you raise a brow, scrutinizingly. It still amazes you how with just a simple expression and no words needed, you can make all color from Jungkook's face banish and how quick he is to reach for your hand across his bed. "But I only love youuuu, and you're the best thing that has ever happened to me and my dick like, baby, have I mentioned how head over heels I'm for you?"

"Only like five times today." rolling your eyes again, you pull your hand from his to toy with the peperoni piece on your slice of pizza. Jungkook swallows the lump in his throat, he was starting to get truly concerned now. You couldn't possibly...?

"Are you not satisfied? I mean, do I not make you feel good or...?" there's clear worry in his voice and that makes you meet his eyes, shaking your head hurriedly. Now it's you who take his hand in yours.

"No! No, babe. I love sex with you! I love everything you do to me, I love how you treat me, I love how you make me feel. I'm a hundred percent satisfied, I swear, It's just..." you sigh, dropping your gaze to rub slow and reassuring circles to the ink adorning his skin. "All I'm saying is... I may also want to experience what all those girls have experienced with you, y'know... the not so vanilla stuff. But you always seem to be scared to try new things with me, and I don't know if it's because of m-"

"Baby," Jungkooks soft voice calls out to you, removing the pizza box in between the two of you to slide closer to you on the mattress. He craddles your face with his fingers, tilting your chin up to make eye contact with you. "_____, don't say that. I just don't ever want to cross any boundaries. I don't want to hurt you or do anything you might not like or regret later, you know that, right?" placing a small kiss on your lips, you hum in content nodding your head yes.

"I know that." you pull him for another brief kiss, oddly not caring about the faint taste of garlic and spice on them because that's what love will do to you. "But what if I do want you to hurt me? What if I want you to fuck my mouth with no mercy until I cry and slap my face after you've cum all over it while you call me a slut?" you pause, eyes meeting his through your eyelashes. "Or viceversa."

It's not that Jungkook is afraid. Because Jungkook is afraid of nothing in this world. He will murder any spider in his way, he will throw a punch to anyone who denies mint chocolate ice cream as the superior ice cream flavour -and he knows that means he will have to literally fight like the entire population on planet earth-, and he will Rey Mysterio you if you ever discredit or deny his incredible skills playing Overwatch.

Jeon Jungkook prides himself in being fearless in every aspect of his life. Except when it comes to you.

So yeah, maybe he was a little afraid. Because hearing you use the words 'choke', 'slap' and 'slut' in the same sentence did things to him that he didn't deem possible considering none of you were newbies anymore to intimicy. You have been together for three months, for God's sake, but you still made his cock twitch like the first day and he's sure in twenty years you'll have the exact same effect on him.

He didn't want his most primal instincts to overpower the respect and love he'd harboured for you since you were kids because at the end of the day, one, you were still his best friend's little sister, two, he appreciated you too much to ever cross any lines, and three, as cliché as it sounded, you were nothing compared to the girls he had been with previously. What he feels towards you cannot be compared to anything he had experienced before.

And fuck, was he in a predicament. Because you made him weak in his knees for you and you were not even aware of it. You were not aware of how badly he has wanted to explore and take things way further, way out of both his and your comfort zones. But he's terrified. He's terrified because all he wants is to to take care of you and what if he fails at the one thing he's swore to himself? What if he lets the darkest side of him consume him and at the same time consume you? What if he does actually hurt you, not just psichologically but also physically?

He would never be able to forgive himself. And neither could Taehyung.

And that, was also tormenting him.

Taehyung seemed fine with the two of you dating -or at least that blow to Jungkook's face seemed to ease things between them-, but Jungkook is not dumb and has felt his best friend slowly distancing himself.

Sure, they were still best friends and will ever will. Taehyung is loyal to Jungkook and Jungkook is loyal to Taehyung. Has been that way since they were five and that will not change just because Jungkook's caught feelings for his little sister.

But the phonecalls were not as often and not as long as they used to be; in rare occasions Jungkook could sense a certain type of awkwardness between them that really had never happened in their friendship, and sometimes Taehyung's jokes seemed to hold more truth than lightheartedness.

And to top it all off, Jungkook's dilemma regarding you was eating him alive and, usually he would turn to Taehyung for girl advice, only to later realize he was also frightened of doing that.

But a Friday night at 2 a.m, Jungkook decides he can't take it anymore.

"Sup, man." Taehyung's voice answers Jungkook's phone call on the second ring, like he always does.

"Hey, bro." Jungkook clears his voice, suddenly feeling self conscious. "Are you busy?"

"I don't know," his friend seems to be chewing on what Jungkook bets is red Skittles -yes, only the red ones- because he just knows him too well. "Are you busy still fucking my little sister?"

Taehyung chuckles at his own joke, but Jungkook doesn't. He knows there's no malice, but he can't help to think there might be. He settles for a sigh. "Yeah." he can hear some shuffling on the other side and the clicking of a computer mouse. Jungkook would also bet he was playing Among Us and he would lie if he said he wasn’t disappointed he hadn't called him to play with him. "Y'know what, it's not even important, I'll just call y-"

"Come on, man. You haven't even laughed at that and you usually laugh at everything I say even when no one else does." Taehyung swirls in his chair, his attention fully focused on his best friend. "Seriously, what's bothering you." Jungkook takes a deep breath, rubbing the side of his face.

"It's about _____."

"_____? As in, my little sister? Who you're fucking?"

"Tae, dude-"

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Go on." Taehyung stiffles a laugh and waits patiently for Jungkook to continue.

"She um... Fuck, I hope this isn't weird, dude. I really do. She wants to like... rough it up in the bedroom, I guess? And I just... I don’t know... I'm terrified dude." There's silence filling the gap between Taehyung and Jungkook and Jungkook almost feels like throwing up.

"You're coming to me for sex advice... about my little sister?"

"I know, dude but... Who else I'm supossed to talk to? Jimin? Hoseok?" Jungkook sits up on his bed, an ugly knot beginning to form in his stomach. "I mean, you're my best friend," Jungkook swallows again, voice cracking. "...right?"

It's Taehyung's turn to sigh after a few seconds before he replies. "Forever and always, bro." His tone settles Jungkook's uneasiness. There's nothing but honesty in it. "Listen, Guk. I really don't know what kind of advice to give you because, literally, ew. But I do know my sister, and if that's what she wants and she's communicated with you about it, it’s because she trusts you. And I trust you more than anyone in my life. So there you go, man."

Relief washes all over Jungkook's body and he lays back on the bed again, heart not beating as hard as it was a few seconds ago.

"Thanks, dude." Jungkook smiles. "Sorry for calling you so late."

"No problem, bro." Taehyung smiles as well, swirling his chair back to his computer screen. A weight of his own being lifted. "Among Us next time?"

"Yeah, I'll let you know. Good night, bro."

Taehyung calls Jungkook's name before he can hang up. "Hey, man?"

"Yeah, man?"

There's a pause between them and then Taehyung speaks. "I love you, man."

Jungkook supresses the threat of tears about to spill because he knows Taehyung would try to bruise his other other eyebrow if he ever found out. Or hug him to death. Or both.

"I love you too, bro."

"This reminds me of the first time you gave me a blowjob." Jungkook chuckles, watching you get down on your knees between his spread thighs, make up free and sporting a similar low messy bun as that time he's mentioning, except this time you're wearing one of his hoodies engulfing your smaller frame. Proof that this time around, you're exclusively his and no one else’s.

"You mean the blowjob of your life." you giggle as you reach out to pull down his sweatpants, deligthed to see he decided on not wearing any underwear. Your spit on the back of your hand and immediately wrap it around the base of his rock hard cock while his own darts out to push the strands falling down your face behind your ear, heart eyes emoji looking down at you looking up at him.

Your tongue swirls around the tip timidly, swallowing the drop of precum oozing as he sighs heavily and lovingly. "Every blowjob you give me is the blowjob of my life." he unties your hair from the band holding it together because he prefers his fingers to be the hair tie, prefers to be the one to guide the bobbing of your head up and down his dick.

You hum in appreciation against him, cherry balmed lips wrapping fully around the head of his cock and he hums back. "Love seeing you on your knees for me with your pretty mouth stuffed, fuck." You take him deeper, closing your eyes.

Your hand moving accordingly to your mouth and your panties already wet, clinging to your folds. It's really not your fault Jungkook is the most delicious eye candy on earth and how fast can the mere sight of him make your pussy lips quiver. You slurp around the head obscenely , a moan of yours mixing with a moan of his. "Hands on your back."

You obligue, removing your hands and growing excited at the dominating low tone his voice exerts. The grip he has on your hair tightens and controls your motions, pushing you further down his dripping shaft until your nose hits his pubic bone. He holds you there, his own eyes closing shut and his dick twitching insde your mouth. A thrust of his hips make you gag and has one of your hands flying to tap his leg two times, letting him know you were in need for air.

He releases you, pulling you back until his cock is pulsating in front of you. He looks down at you, both breathless but the difference is you look so messy. Eyes watery, chest moving heavily and saliva leaking from your lips.

Yeah, there was a reason Jungkook hasn't been like this with you before. The sight of you submitting completely and looking so nasty was too much for him to handle. He might never want to see you any other way than this.

"Isn't this what you wanted, huh?" the free hand that had been supporting his weight on the matress grasps your face harshly, making you lock eyes with him.

"I thought you wanted me to choke you with my cock like a little whore?" you nod your head eagerly, unable to form words. Your pussy throbs, prompting you to rub your thighs to get some sort of relief as his thumb smears the spit adorning your lips. You're quick to envelop it in the warmth of your mouth, an involuntary moan leaving your throat. "Such a pretty slut," he lets his cock slap against your cheek, removing his thumb to move his hand back to his previous position. "Open again."

You do, his length entering your mouth again -that you gladly accept- and then he's shoving you down by your hair. "Shit, gonna fuck your mouth so good..."

And he does, not holding back anymore, his hand thrusting your head along his shaft until your throat tightens around him repeteadly, struggling for breath. But you take it, you take the aggresiveness and the degradation because fuck, you've been waiting for so long to know what this feels like. To have Jungkook be mean and have this type of control and power over you and you're enjoying it a bit too much.

"F-fuck, I'm gonna cum, leave your mouth open." he releases on your tongue, not able to look away from the image of you with tears falling down your eyes and mouth drenched with him and your spit, some of his cum staining down your chin and the corners of your lips that he gathers with his thumb and pushes back into your mouth. He groans, watching you swallow all of it like a good girl, your tongue grazing around his digit for the remainings, gaze not leaving his. "Let me grab my phone real quick, I need to take a picture of this."

You were definitely not the jealous type.

You prided yourself on being able to recognize when your behaviours were due to your own insecurities and removing all sorts of feelings of uncertainty from your mind. You never liked toxic patterns or the glamorization of them and your relationship with Jungkook was proof. You knew relationships were supossed to be based on blind trust and faith in your partner and yours definitely reciprocated in the same way.

"So can anybody tell me why Eunha is basically all over my boyfriend right now?" you wish you could blame your state on Hoseok's weed, who's sitting on the left side of the couch right next to you at the frat party. You really wish you could have an explanation for the way your heart tugged in such a weird way and your stomach swirled dangerously until almost making you nauseous. You really tried to blame your overthinking on the joint you had just passed to your friend.

You knew it was bound to happen someday, especially considering Jungkook had always been a ladies' man and the kind of attraction from both men and women he was able to manifest, willing or unwillingly. You just never thought it would happen so soon and in such way that made you clench your fists so tight and your nails dig into the palm of your hands so painfully.

"I mean, they did have like a long fling a few years ago, didn't they?" Seulgi, sitting on your right, chimes in.

That was true. Longer than most flings Jungkook ever had before you.

"Yeah, before she dumped him." Hoseok adds.

Your eye twitches and your jaw contracts. Because that, was also true, and it was mostly what was bothering you so much.

Had it been Jungkook the one to move away from his situationship with Eunha like with most girls, you wouldn't have such a problem with the way she's shamelessly leaning towards him from across the room. Or the way she's twirling a strand of her hair between one of her fingers while battling her lashes. Or the way she's hysterically laughing at whatever he was saying, because your boyfriend was funny, but he was not that funny.

You were not the jealous type, and Jungkook definitely wasn't giving you any reason to be, because as coquettish as the blonde was being or as provocatively as she was pushing her tits into his arm, he politely keeps his distance and tries to also engage with Jimin in conversation, leaving her pouting. But that wasn't enough to not make you start seriously questioning your feminist ethics right now.

"Wait, you're not jealous, are you?" Seulgi turns to you, offering you the joint -how long had you been focusing your attention on Jungkook and Eunha to not realize it was your turn again to smoke?-. You take it, hesitating between answering right away or taking a hit before doing that. You were never a good liar. You look between your two friends who are looking back at you with their eyebrows raised.

"I-" you close your mouth and run your fingers through your hair. "Maybe? I don't know what I'm feeling and I don't like it one bit."

"Aw, babe." Seulgi squeezes your knee, eyes showing you sympathy. "Jealousy is a natural response to any relationship."

"I know..." you take the joint in your hand, taking a long drag before letting the smoke out. "I just don't want to sound like an insecure little bitch!" you whine. "I don't want to be like 'Oh, why would Jeon Jungkook, a God of the Olympus, dare give his attention to a peasant as unworthy as me!?' Like no, he's just a man. A little less mediocre than most but a man nontheless. I'm not going to doubt myself or other women just because he's more beautiful than most, and hotter, and funnier and has a massive co-" you notice you're getting carried away by the look of disgust in Hoseok's face and Seulgi trying to hold back a laugh.

"Anyways, he's lucky to have me. We're both lucky to have each other but sometimes I feel like I might be the luckiest out of the two. And seeing Eunha looking so pretty and throwing herself at him is triggering me because..." you pause to take a deep breath and lounch back on the couch. "What if he realizes one day that I'm luckier than he is and he could be luckier with someone else?"

There's, ironically, a long silence. Ironically because the sound of Travis Scott making the walls tremble is anything but, until Hoseok speaks.

"I think you feel that way because you still haven't seen how that boy looks at you, _____." and then he motions to the spot from across the room you had been observing for too long, the spot where Jungkook is now glancing at you after noticing your detectable distress, with a frown on his features.

'You okay?' he mouthes, his fist raising in the air in a thumbs up, questioningly.

Your heart jerks, and not out of bitterness or envy caused by a girl trying to get your boyfriend's attention. Because his attention is always entirely on you, no matter how many feet are separating the two of you.

'Yes' you mouth back, with a nod of your head and an encouraging smile that has formed itself on your face. He beams as well at you. Mouthes an 'I love you' and puckers his lips in a flying kiss that makes you giggle. You mimic him, your heart tight against your chest.

Hoseok is right. You have nothing to worry about.

Jungkook is in love with you. Sometimes, he thinks, he's too in love with you.

"Can't believe I'm letting you do this."

"Can't believe you're such a pussy."

Jungkook huffs in annoyance. He would smack your ass right now if his hands weren't restricted by a scarf of yours he had never seen before to your bedpost. He would also send you a mean look if his eyes weren't covered by the only tie he owned and had so generously lent to you.

When you mentioned you wanted to try this, he expected you to be in this position. Not the other way around.

He's sprawled on your bed, only his boxers covering him as your legs straddle his waist and you tighten the hold of the scarf around his wrists sternly. He winces and manages an 'Hey!' He knows you're only wearing your panties because he can't feel anything else and he's felt one of your naked tits brushing his face as you tied him up. He also tried to catch one of your nipples in his mouth as a form of punishment, to no use because you swiftly backed away from his attempt.

"I've never been a bottom before, this is new for me." he says. He really doesn't mind any of this. He's just not used to it. He knows he'd be lying if he said it didn't turn him on a little bit, even if he'd rather be the one to have you completely unmoving and naked beneath him. Especially now that you're skimming your nails up and down his torso.

"Mm, good to know." your lips follow the path your fingers created, from the center of his chest up, moving steadily and tracing soft kisses over his flesh.

"Don't worry. I'll be gentle." you croon, dragging your tongue from the pulse of his neck to his earlobe, nails scraping lightly over his left nipple. Jungkook shudders, air sucked in through his teeth as his mouth opens on its own. Taking advantage of this, you place a kiss on the corner of his lips before slipping your tongue inside.

He answers simultaniously, his own tangling with yours, swallowing each other's moans. Your hips set a slow peace, clothed cad core griding over the length poking between your thighs. His hips move unvoluntarily, trying to find some sort of friction to make up for the fact that his hands are unavailable to knead your ass and pull you closer, if that was even possible.

You separate from him, raising on your knees. Jungkook whines in protest, hips buckling up from the mattress to try to meet yours again.

"Jungkook, I'm serious, stay still!"

"I take it back." his voice shaky and hands straining against the tight hold the scarf you tied around has on them. "I don't like this. Untie me so I can fuck you, babe." he complains. You sit on his tiny waist, your thighs trying to stop his movements.

You take a moment to assess him. He looks too beautiful for his own good: hair courtaning his forehead, biceps bulging and abs flexing. You can't see his eyes but you know they might be glassy. You bite your lip to supress a whine of delight. You almost consider doing as he says. Almost.

But you mantain your ground. Your jealousy from the other night had been crawling slowly from within these past few days and since you couldn't take it out on Jungkook any other way because he really wasn't to blame, you figured you'd try something new to punish him and let some of your supressed anger vanish.

Twisting your body back to pull down his boxers, not all the way, just enough to have his cock springing free from the confines of the fabric and slapping against your asscheeks.

"Has toxic masculinity seriously polluted your brain so much you can't take this seriously?" you fall forward, one of your hands balancing you beside his head as the other wraps around his neck, a tentative hold not yet to constrict his breathing.

He gulps, his body's tense and his Adam's apple is prominent under your touch. All he can see is black but he'd do anything to watch your pretty tits bouncing in front of his face. "I don't like this conversation either." he pouts.

"Then why are you so hard?" you grin, holding yourself back from laughing as he hesitates for an answer. You lean closer, mouth against his ear as you whisper. "I'm so wet right now, I could take you just like this. No lubrication at all and my pussy would just swallow your dick." Feeling his girth still between your ass flutter, clearly affected by the sultry tone of your voice. You remove your hand from his neck seeing as he has stopped moving obediently. Reaching back, you slide your panties to the side and align your entrance to the head of his leaking cock.

"Fuck, baby, please~" Jungkook's pleads fills the air, hips desperately back in motion and sliding just a few inches inside your drenched heat. The warmth envoles him instantly, your pussy pulsates around him and neither of you can't help the in synch groans tearing from your throats.

"Just the tip" you lick your lips, your voice betraying you as you resist the urge to glide the rest of his lenght inside your quivering core.

"Just the tip, my ass."

Out of sudden, Jungkook is swiftly lifting his hips from the matress, sinking all the way in. You cry as your body jumps forward, face hidden in the juncture of Jungkook's sweaty neck. His thick cock stretches you out as nice and deep and perfectly as he always does. You mewl. This was not supossed to happen at all.

"See? This is what you really wanted." you can hear the chuckle threatening to spill from his lips, anger starting to boil inside of you again.

Regaining a little bit of your lost control, you lift yourself on your trembling knees and sit back again, the tip of his dick hitting your cervix. You groan in unision, placing your hands on the hard planes of his chest and steadying yourself to try to reclaim your dominance. Finding it troublesome, because Jungook is set on having it his own way, his thrusts meeting yours in perfect synch.

You really shouldn't feel your climax approaching so soon but somehow battling for control while bickering with Jungkook is about to send you over the edge and that's making you even more annoyed.

"I swear to God, Jungkook. If you don't stop moving and shut the fuck up..." your murmur through gritted teeth, jaw slackened and eyes fluttering shut.

"What?" he spats, breathing rugged and voice coarse. "If I don't shut up, you'll wha-"

The sound of a sharp smack echoes inside your room and Jungkook's movements freeze on the spot. His head is turned to the side from the impact, and a faint print of your fingers is adorning his already stinging cheek. None of you mutter anything for a few seconds, until concerned words start to rush out of you.

"Ohmygod, Jungkook, I-"

"Did you just slap me?" Jungkook is unmoving, his mouth agape and you can picture the incredulous expression his eyes might be oozing. "Baby, what the fuck?!" You're mortified. Your hands cover your mouth and your eyes, wide open, stare down at him although he can't stare at you back.

"Babe, I don't know why I did that, you wouldn't stop talking and I know that's not an excuse but it-"

"It was fucking hot." a breathy laugh in disbelief leaves his chest. Your forehead creases, hands falling down to your chest to try to steady your incessant heartbeat. His tongue darts between his pearly teeth, a smug smirk on his features. An eyebrow of yours raises as you size him up, the realization that his body is completely motionless now hitting you.

Lurging forward, you pinch his jaw between your fingers, your hips carry on their grinding on their own accord. He releases a raspy moan, your walls clenching around him as another hit strikes his cheek, softer this time.

"You gonna be good to me?" you mutter against his lips. He nods slowly, his mouth salivating as your hips swirl on top of him. He blindly tries to reattach his mouth to yours, but you dodge him, going for the skin of his clavicle instead. "Can I fuck you slow like this until you're filling me with your cum?" He squirms when he feels you sucking a pretty purple bruise on his flesh, your cunt dropping all the way down his cock, leisurly grinding against his pelvic bone, looking yourself to find some relief to your clit.

"Ah!" his head tilts back, back slighlt arching as you soothe the mark on his neck with your tongue. "That m-might be s-sooner than you think, babe" he admits timorously, swallowing the lump in his throat, the veins on his neck on full display.

You sigh in content because, thankfully your orgasm is also closer than he thinks it is. "M-me too-" you gasp, your face buried on his shoulder, letting your fingers brush his ebony hair, nails gently scrapping his scalp as you keep the tortuous movements of your hips against his, his girth hitting that spot just right everytime until you feel the knot in your tummy finally snapping. "C-cum, J-Jungkook, I-m-"

Jungkook doesn't need to be told twice because he has been holding back from it for a while now, not really willing to admit he was enjoying this as much as he was. With a thrust of his own fused with the way your pussy is tightening around him it's enough to send him over the edge, an unpredicted cry emanating from his vocal chords harmonizing with your own, his whole body tensing as your walls milk every single drop of his cum.

For several minutes you stay just like that. Jungkook's hands still tied, blindfold still on, his mouth still agape as his chest rises and falls until his breathing becomes steady again. And you, on top, your fingers tangled in his dark locks, your breath fanning against his neck and his release dripping down your thighs. You stay like that until your body starts shaking with uncontrollable laughter.

Jungkook tilts his head towards yours, eyebrows furrowing and eyes still covered.

"What was that noise?" you manage through your giggle fit. "'Aaah!'" You've never made a noise like that before, I can't- it was so funn-"

Even while still being strained and blindfolded and with you making fun of him, a loopsided goofy smirk starts making an appearence on Jungkook's features.

Fancy dinner parties were never your thing.

Wearing heels that were too high -specifically to try to match Jungkook's height-, a new expensive dress that you were surely going to return as soon as the event was over because you definitely could not afford it and socializing with Jungkook's clique was definitely not the way you envisioned your Saturday night going.

At least Jungkook had barely been able to keep his hands for himself at the sight of you wrapped in emerald green silk and lace. But even that couldn't make you feel less uncomfortable and out of place.

Yugyeom, one of Jungkook's friends, had definitely more money than your boyfriend had previously let you know. Apparently, being a 'lil rich' as Jungkook had mentioned meant booking a luxurious restaurant to hold a dinner party with at least fifty people who looked just as 'lil rich' as Yugyeom's Gucci tuxedo.

'It'll be alright babe. Yugyeom always insists on celebrating his birthday like it's an Oscar after party. We'll just eat some of that disgusting caviar and then head home to watch Netflix, I swear'.

And yes, caviar was gross, but so was the fact that Jungkook had failed to mention a certain someone would also be making an appearence.

After introducing you to a few of his friends and realizing that Mingyu's frendliness and amiability helped you feel more relaxed, he had excused himself to the bathroom, leaving you and his friend to entangle in a heated conversation about How I Met Your Mother's finale season.

You were thankful for Mingyu's humble nature and easygoing talk for a few minutes until you finally spotted your boyfriend making his way back into the room, stopping in his tracks to acknowledge a group of friends from his class.

Again, you wouldn't have such a problem with a certain blonde if she would just stop looking at Jungkook with stars in her eyes and pressing her cleavage against him while playing with her hair. It was hard to keep track of your conversation with Mingyu while Eunha was standing right next to your boyfriend and seemingly ogling up at him. It was also hard to not let your mind waver to dangerous territory when you took notice of how disgustingly good they looked together.

Just two attractive people who would look disgustingly good together.

Mingyu's voice makes you turn back to him.

"...I don't know, like, Barney was a womanizer until Robin, you know? He changed for her! They were just perfect for each other, but they had to throw it all away by killing the mother and then making Robin marry Ted? And Barney going back to his old ways?" Mingyu sounds exhasperated and you would laugh and find it cute if your stomach wasn't tugging again in a way that made you regret drinking so much wine so fast. Specially after his last statement.

"That's what I'm saying." you mumble, turning your attention back to your boyfriend in the crowd.

Jungkook wouldn't go back to his old ways. He loves you. There's nothing to worry about.

But as you watch him start to make his way towards you, you also watch the way Eunha grabs the sleeve of his blazer to pull him back. She leans in, whispers something in his ear to which he just shakes his head, says something that it's impossible to decipher from here you're standing and simply walks in your direction.

Still, as much as you tried to be neutral and objective and not a 'jealous little bitch', it's almost impossible to hide the sour expression on your face. It's impossible to unclench your jaw throughout the entire evening or lose the too tight grip on your glass of wine. Even when Jungkook whispers in your ear if you're okay, you merely nod yes. You avoid eye contact with him and everytime he tries to slip your hand into his, you dodge him it by wrapping your arms around yourself, claiming how cold it is.

Jungkook is not dumb.

He know something's up but he's also not stupid enough to cause a scene in public or preassure you into talking. So he settles on wating and being patient. Even as he slips his jacket on your stiff shoulders with pouty lips and his eyebrows drawn together, all he does is press a small kiss to the back of your neck. It takes all power within you to not throw yourself in his arms.

But as midnight approaches and it's time to leave, you notice a change in Jungkook's behaviour as you say your goodbyes. His hand on your back is not just a soft caress, instead, his fingers pull you closer, dig into your skin as he drags the both of you to where his car is parked. Now it's him who avoids your gaze. His tensed jaw and his tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek is a visible indicator that Jungkook is pissed.

You know his body language as well as he knows yours. And now, as he opens the door of the passanger seat so you can slide in, the guilt and the remorse of acting cold towards him for hours is finally dawning on you.

"Are you going to tell me now what was that about?" when he closes his own door shut, he doesn't bother to put his seatbelt on. Just grips the steering wheel as he turns to you.

"I-I don't know what you're t-"

"You don't know what I'm talking about?" he laughs, not a bit of humour in it. "I know scenes like this make you feel uncomfortable but I actually thought everything was going fine. I leave you for five minutes with Mingyu and when I come back, you won't look at me, won't touch me, won't act like I'm your boyfriend. Like I did something wrong. So please, _____, tell me, what's going on?"

You know there's no excuse for the way you acted. You know it's not Jungkook's fault he attracts attention and it most definitely not his fault if an ex of his is still hung up on him. You know it's your own fault and you know you should not try to excuse yourself and fight back. You'd swore to yourself you'd push down any feelings of jealousy deep inside until they disappeared. But something about tonight makes you explode.

"Why was she being all over you?"

Jungkook's face twists in confusion. "What? Who?"

"Eunha! Who the fuck else? She was all over you a few weeks ago at Minghao's party, and she was all over you tonight!" your voice is louder than you would've liked but at this point all you care about is letting it all out.

"This is what all of that was about? Eunha?"

"Yes! I've seen her on campus as well! Always trying to get your attention! I don't care that you have friends in common, but specially tonight, she whispered something to you and she was looking at you like she-"

"Who cares how she looks at me? All you need to care about is how I look at you because the only thing I care about is how you look at me!" Jungkook exclaims, clearly exhausted of this conversation.

You sink in your seat and look away as the knuckles on his hands turn white from gripping the steering wheel.

"_____," he calls you gently, but his voice mantains a stern tone to it. "We don't do jealousy. I thought we were supossed to trust each other blindly. Have I not proved to you how sickenly in love with you I am? Do you not trust me and what I feel?"

"I-... Of course I do. I-just... I don't know. You're right. That was uncalled for." you wrap yourself in the warmth of Junkook's blazer, trying to make his scent wash away any ugly resentment and guilt in your body.

"Wanna know what she said to me?" a rethorical question, because he was going to tell you anyway. "She asked me if I was going to stay for Yugyeom's after party, way past midnight. Wanna know what I said?" he turns to you. "I said no, I'm spending the night with my girlfriend."

None of you say nothing after that. He just puts his seatbelt on and starts driving. It's not too much of a far drive to his dorm, but the silence and the awkwardness makes it feel so much longer than it should be. You don't remember the last time Jungkook was mad at you. Actually, you don't think Jungkook has ever been mad at you. He loved the banter, loved to tease you, loved being competitive with you. But you had never seen him being avoidant of you. And that feeling tears your heart on the seat of his car.

"Are you mad at me?" you ask, voice barely audible, when the car stops at a red light. His dark eyes meet yours, his face immediately softening as he studies your expression. Then he picks one of your small hands in one of his big ones, brings it to his lips and lightly kisses your knuckles. He communicates with his eyes what he doesn't with words and it's enough to make you feel secure, at least for now.

When you finally arrive at Jungkook's room, he holds the door ope for you and lets you walk in, but he's still unusually quiet. So much so, you start to worry you might have fucked up big time.

You stand there, not knowing what to do as you watch him sit down on his bed, slipping his shoes and socks off and loosening the tie around his neck. His hair, that was perfectly styled a few hours ago, is now messy by the amount of times his hand has pushed it back. He looks too yummy, and you hate the fact that tension and a little bit of fighting has managed to make him look as delectable.

You ignore the heat starting to form in your belly because now it's not the time to be horny. Not when you still need to apologize and make things right. He's rolling the sleeves of his black shirt down his forearms when you decide to speak.

"Jungkook, I'm very sorry." you start, as you remove his blazer off you and place it on the chair right in front of his desk. "I don't know why I acted the way I did. I dont get easily jealous and I really don't think I am but..." your throat constricts your words for a moment. "The more I love you, the more frightened I get when I think that one day you'll realize I'm better off as your best friend's little sister. I-I dont know what I'd do with myself if that ever happene-"

"Take off your dress." Jungkook's impassive voice and emotionless face startles you and you freeze on your feet.

"What?"

"Did I stutter?"

His elbows rest on his knees and he's holding your stare with his. His doe eyes lack that free spirited and amusing glint they usually have. He looks bored, scrutinizing you. He's not challenging you. He's commanding you because he knows you will obligue.

That's why you gulp and slowly slide the straps of your dress down your arms until the fabric pools at your feet. His eyes waver along your naked breasts, nipples perking up like the mere intensity of his gaze is ordering them to. He doesn't make a move and doesn't say anything for a few seconds. He doesn't compliment you like he normally would at the sight of you almost naked in front of him.

His lack of words make you feel insecure, regardless of how turned on you are. You're used to Jungkook being reassuring, you're used to his lighthearted jokes and his playful kisses in the bedroom. But you're not used to Jungkook telling you what to do and keeping his distance while doing so. Your arms move on their own to hide yourself.

"Don't. If you hide from me, I swear to God, _____." he watches you as you let your arms fall back to your sides, your chest moving up and down while you struggle to breathe. You can't deny Jungkook's gruff voice and his eyes studying every bit of skin available to him like he hasn't seen you naked before is not making your underwear stick to your lower lips.

"JK, I just don't think this is the right moment to-"

"On my lap." your heart skips a bit, a thrill of excitement coursing through your veins.

"Jungkook-"

"I said, get on my lap, face down." he says again, this time slower. One of his eyebrows quirk up. "Or would you rather me drag you myself? Or make you crawl?"

Your eyes widen, and your feet are quick to approach him. Your nipples tingle, your core is throbbing and your cheeks are adorned by a beautiful blush that Jungkook doesn't miss.

He doesn't move until you're in front of him, just to help you lower yourself on his lap, your cheek and your nipples touching the mattress and your ass up. You close your eyes when Jungkook skims his fingertips over your skin, his carressing relaxing your body until he eases your nerves a bit. He sighs when he notices the way that poor excuse of a thong sticks between your folds as his strong hands massage your buttcheeks.

He's taking his time, his fingers gliding over your soft skin, his breathing too calm for your liking. Until one palm of his hand collides sharply against your right cheek, sending your body forward. You gasp, the stinging making your body want to pull away. But he's quick to catch both your wrists behind your back, keeping you in place.

"Jungk-!"

Another smack, this time harder, on the same cheek.

"Did I give you permission to talk?"

Smack. This time on the left cheek. Your back arches on its own will, presenting more of your ass to him unwittingly. Your eyes squeezed shut and bite the inside of your cheek as you rub your thighs together. You keep quiet as his hand lands another blow on your ass.

"That's a good girl. Now," his voice is gentler this time as his hand soothe your reddened cheeks. "do you think what you did tonight was okay?" you say nothing, only a mewl slips past your lips. Another smack. "Answer me."

"No." you lick your lips, anticipating more.

"Do you think it was funny to pull a stunt like that?"

Smack.

"N-no!"

"No, it wasn't. Spread your legs for me." you do as you're told and he finally pulls down the drenched piece of lace down your thighs. He leans forward, spreads your cheeks with one hand as he lets a glob of spit fall directly into your lips. He makes you gasp when his fingers start sliding up and down your folds slowly.

"I've had to put up with this kind of behavour since the day you begged me to fuck this tight, virgin pussy like the little slut you are." you whine, face red as humiliation starts to creep in. Jungkook slips one finger in, pumping it slow and easy. Your hips move to take him deeper.

"I tried to be a gentleman, you know?" he says, adding a second finger. "I've tried to treat you nice and sweet and be the best boyfriend I could be to make you happy and keep you satisfied in every sense of the word." his thumb finds your clit, rubbing tortuous circles.

"Been compeletely whipped since I kissed you for the first time. Haven't looked at other girls because I just can't when I have everything I want to look at right in front of me." murmuring, he starts to get lost your pussy and how it swallows his fingers and how obscene you look and sound, dripping right on his trousers. He watches his fingers moving in and out, almost hypnotized. "Yet, somehow..." he pulls away. You whimper in protest.

"Somehow, you still seem to doubt me." His hand smacks your cheek again, wet fingers spreading your essence all over your skin.

"P-please, please." you cry. You miss Jungkook's sadistic smile before he releases the grip on your wrists, still keeping you on his lap. Both his hands spread your cheeks now, and another glob of spit falls right into your asshole. His fingers find your cunt again, easily taking you almost over the edge.

"If you could only look at yourself right now... All spread out for me like a needy whore in heat" his thumb teases your unexplored rim, hesitantly, coating it with his spit and your own arousal. He presses in slowly. You gasp, your body tenses and Jungkook stills his movements immediately. There's silence for a few seconds.

"Too far? Should I stop?" and there's your Jungkook, concern lacing his voice. His free hand caresses your back, your body relaxing, laying back down obediently. His fingers are still inside you and his thumb is still asking for entrance. He leans forward, placing a small but comforting kiss on the bruised skin of your right asscheek.

"Go on." you whisper, but he doesn't move right away. This time, it's his own body that tenses momentarely before going back to his tranquil demeanor. He breathes through his noise as his fingers pick up where they left off.

"Yeah?" you swear you hear him swallow a lump in his throat. "Gonna let me finger this tight little ass like a good slut? Mm?" his thumb slides deeper, slightly stretching you out while his fingers work your pussy in a solid rhythm. "Gonna let me stretch you out little by little until I can open you up with my cock one day?" his movements speed up, fingers sliding out of your cunt to play with your clit and his thumb slowly moving in and out. "You don't wanna talk now? You just want to stay silent while I fuck your ass and-"

And then you're cumming, so unexpected it takes both of you by surprise. Your hands grip onto Jungkook's sheets, your thighs clasp around his hand as you scream his name. He doesn't stop though. He rides you through it, encouraging words mixing with filthy insults that prolong your orgasm until you're squirming beneath him.

"Shit, baby... My hand is soaked." he mumbles, as he slowly removes his fingers and thumb from you. "You okay?"

You faintly nod your head yes, not able to find words through your dry mouth and your pussy still convulsing.

"Good. Get on the bed. On your hands and knees."

You somehow manage to slip from his lap and position yourself as he says. Except your arms and legs are shaking. Although the sound of Jungkook undoing his belt and his hands gripping your hips and bringing you towards him until the head of his dick is at your entrance is enough to make you forget about how tired your body is. You surrender to him, not even bothering to hold yourself up on your arms, your fingers crumbling the sheets and your face buried into the pillow.

When his cock enters you, a pitiful moan leaves your mouth. His thick lenght slides into your heat, filling you perfectly as he always does. It's a wonder how well he fits inside you.

"Such a perfect slut for me. Always ready for me to do whatever I want with her, since day one. So tight, so ready. So, so perfect. All mine." he talks as measured as he moves, dragging each word out as his hips find a nice tempo.

Then he doesn't move for a while with his dick buried between your walls, and you know he's holding himself back. You turn your head slightly to look at him. He catches your eyes instantly. Sees your mascara running down your watery eyes, and your smudged lipstick and your messy hair and then he's giving you that look. That look that lets you know that Jungkook is, indeed, whipped for you. Leaning in, he presses his shirt-covered chest to your sweaty, naked back. His cock dives deeper, not an ounce of space between you as he lovingly kisses your cheek until his mouth finds yours.

He kisses you hard but soft, tongue meeting yours for the first time since you entered the room. Jungkook is not a man of words. He's silly, and a jokester, and finds it difficult to express how he's feeling. But when he kisses you, or looks at you, when he touches you, or when he makes love to you, even if it's as dirty and filthy as right now, he's always able to transmit exactly what he can't vocally.

He's telling you there's no other place he'd rather be than here, with you.

When he pulls back, a string of saliva still connecting your lips, his hand moves to the back of your head, fisting your hair in a tight hold that makes you arch your back and desperately moan for him.

"A-and you're mine." you sob.

It's like something snaps inside of him. He growls and suddenly his hips lose control. He nails you against the mattress, his grip on your hair pulling your head back, his lips against your ear as your cunt clenches around his cock.

"Just yours. All yours." his grunts send shivers down your spine and you're close again, even in the painful and uncomfortable position your body is in. Being at Jungkook's mercy and him being at yours is enough to have you seeing starts.

"This is the only pussy I want wrapped around my cock. Your lips are the only ones I want to kiss. You're the only one I want between my arms." It only takes two flickers of Jungkook's free hand against your nub and his next words to tip you over. "You belong to me, and I belong to you."

You squeal as you come, and Jungkook bites your shoulder to keep himself from doing so as well as he follows shortly. He fills you up with his release, but he doesn't release you from him. He wraps his arms around your frame, both your bodies becoming soft as he rolls over to one side with your back still pressed to his chest, cock still inside you. His lips find their way to the skin of your shoulder and the back of your neck. His breath fanning your flesh makes you smile.

"That is so not like my sister. I'm telling you, she never gets jealous." Taehyung says over the phone. He's munching on something again and Jungkook would bet all the money in his wallet again he's eating Skittles. Red Skittles. "So, everything cool now?"

"Yeah, man. We just talked it out, you know?" Jungkook's gaze falls on you, laying on your stomach on his bed, laptop iluminating your face, earbuds on and your head moving to whatever music you're listening to. Jungkook would bet all the money in his bank account it's Shape Of My Heart by The Backstreet Boys. Or at least that's what he's been able to guess so far. He was never good at reading lips, specially when trying to guess boybands' lyrics.

Friday's nights meant late 1990's/early 2000's pop nostalgia for you. It meant shaking his head and spending the following week trying to get Britney and Xtina songs out of his brain for him. Although lately, he hadn't been trying that hard. Jungkook sighs in content, not really trying to cover the fact that he might be looking at you like a starstruck teenager. Which, it was totally fair because that's exactly how he feels about you. "Communication is key, bro."

He keeps watching you until your head perks up and catch him gawking. You smile at him and he smiles back.

"By 'communication is key' you mean you actually fucked my little sister silly right? Bro, I swear, I'll block your numb-"

"Sorry man, gotta go."

"And now you're gonna fuck her silly again, right? You son of a b-"

Jungkook hangs up just as you take your earbuds off, making his way to you to kiss you silly.

#jeon jungkook #jungkook #bts #jungkook smut #jungkook fluff #jungkook imagine #jungkook fic #FINALLY #took me a month to gain motivation and inspiration back!!!

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fresh-prince-of-denmark · 3 years

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New Dawn Fades — Literary References Analysis Part 4: The Id, the Ego, the Superego

Cyberpunk Spoiler Warning

Here’s part four of me going through all the endings and looking for the literary references in each of the endings, which I believe allude to what happens to V/Johnny, possibly in future DLC. If you haven’t read my other posts, you should read them here (Johnny’s Mikoshi poem, V’s Mikoshi Poem, The Star ending) first since we’re gonna loop back to them later.

New Dawn Fades was such a pain in the ass; because Johnny is such an art hoe, I found three different poems/stories scattered around. Not only that, but two of them are translated from Polish, and one of them us from Ovid’s The Metamorphoses. I studied English literature so…forgive me if this is super surface-level. Also, stuff gets lost in translation, so the original meaning sometimes gets lost. If Polish literature is anyones niche, please teach me a thing two, but all I can do now is my best! But from what I could tell, damn…paints a pretty depressing picture. Let’s start with the two Polish writers first:

Bolesław Leśmian, "Why so many candles...”

Why so many candles, these faces above me?

No more harm shall ever meet my body.

Everyone is standing - while here alone I lie -

Grieving, feigning. One must be true when one must die.

And so, buried under these wreathes of leaves, I lie -

Solemnly - Agelessly - Solitarily.

Death, gone silent, once again rushes to my head,

Though by now I know all my comprehension is dead.

How I loathe to become accustomed to this grave,

To be what I once was - that is all I crave.

This one is…yikes. Depressing. As I talked about in previous posts, V’s poem is more pessimistic: nothing we do matters, we’re all just dust in the wind, you know, the good stuff. Johnny’s poem has a very different stance; art makes us immortal, and we can change the world, etc. With this…Johnny seems to have given his larger-than-life attitude up in favor of V’s resignation that life sucks. Much like Prufrock in V’s poem, Johnny is lying “Solemnly - Agelessly - Solitarily.” Almost as if he didn’t want V’s body, not as a selfless gesture…but because he has grown accustom to his previous form. In Johnny’s version of Alt’s poem, it almost seems as if he embraces being a construct — the form of immortality it, and his legacy, grants him (remember all that hokey about being a golden bird to sing his message to the youth?). Blackwall was a kind of death Johnny knew — yet now:

“How I loathe to become accustomed to this grave,

To be what I once was - that is all I crave.”

Interesting. We never find out where Johnny is going when he leaves Night City, but it makes me wonder. Is he truly starting anew? Or hoping to fix what went wrong?

In the next room, we find another poem, this one an excerpt from Labyrinth by Wisława Szymborska:

So this way or that,

Or no, the other,

By ear or by your gut,

By your wits or by shortcut,

By any means necessary,

Cutting crooked corners.

Past whatever row in a row

Of corridors and gates,

Quickly, in the meantime

Your time grows short,

From one place to another

To one of many still open,

Of darkness and plight

But also delight, held just ajar,

Where there's joy, though sorrow

Lies well-nigh nearby,

And elsewhere, somewhere,

Wheresoever and whereabout,

Fortune in misfortune

Like a parenthetical parenthesis

Acceptance of it all

And suddenly - a fall

I’m a little shaky on the meaning behind this one. My immediate response is to compare it to the poem found in The Star — which contains a piece from The Marriage Between Heaven and Hell by William Blake. The overarching use of this poem, by my interpretation, is an explanation for what the Blackwall is: hell. But not hell how most would perceive it. In fact, according to Blake, hell isn’t so bad. Our views of heaven and hell, good and evil, are wrong. Everyone contains both good and bad within them, and neither is wrong, simply two opposites; between conformity and rebellion, art and obedience. If we were to look at it this way, V would most likely belong in “Heaven,” the world of the obedient, those who play by the worlds rules (at least, in the beginning of the story, before Johnny influences them toward the rebel path), while Johnny represents “Evil,” and would belong to Hell. In some dialogue choices, Johnny will even state that he no longer believes he is a human, and is in fact code, no longer belonging in the world of the living. In this scenario, both have found themselves where they don’t belong. Not only that — but one is supposed to be a healthy mix of so-called “Good” and “Evil.” The “Soul,” and “Body,” are one, not meant to be separated. Uh oh. The tone of this poem in Johnny’s context just seems so…lost, to me. Someone who found their other half, their perfect foil, a soul and body as one…and now it’s gone. What does one do after such a loss?

And finally, the most grim of the three stories: Ovid’s The Metamorphoses. Specifically, Book III, Narcissus and Echo. This one most likely has the greatest significance; not only is it a shard you can pick up, but an open copy of the book can be found in Johnny’s hotel room, drawing further attention to it.

If you haven’t read it, let me give you a quick and dirty summary:

At the beginning of the story, Narcissus’ mother, Liriope, asks the prophet Tiresias if her son will live to see old age, which he replies “only if he does not know himself.” One day when Narcissus is 16, he is out hunting when he finds a mountain Nymph named Echo. Echo, as one might guess, was cursed by Hera and can only repeat what is said back to her. You know. Like an echo. Echo falls in love with Narcissus at first sight and follows him throughout the forest, waiting for him to speak so she can communicate with him. Narcissus eventually gets separated from his hunting group, and calls out for them, which Echo…well, echos. Eventually Echo reveals herself and Narcissus freaks out, telling her basically he’d rather die than be with her. She hides in a cave and pines until she whithers away from hunger, and only her voice remains.

Many other nymphs fall for Narcissus because apparently he’s a straight up snack, but he rejects all of them. Apparently someone gets so salty about it, they summon the Goddess of Vengeance to do something about it. She leads him to a crystal clear pool, in which he is able to see his reflection. Remember the thing about knowing oneself? Yeah…At first, Narcissus thinks the reflection is a different person and falls in love. He smiles, the reflection smiles, so it must like him back, right? Eventually he reaches to touch it, and realizes that it’s him. He freaks out, and much like Echo, stays by his reflections side until he withers away. Having a total meltdown, he cries out “Alas!” which is echoed, by well, Echo. Her voice lived on, and she watches him die as he calls “Farewell, dear boy. Beloved in vain.” Once again, Echo repeats this. Narcissus dies and all the thirsty hoes make a pyre to burn him, but when they go looking for him they find the Narcissus (flower) instead (nooo...dont transform into a flower, you’re so sexy ahaha).

So what does this mean for Johnny/V? Well, two main things pop out to me: transformation, and reflections. Much like Echo and Narcissus are reflections of each other, V and Johnny reflect each other. As @ellitira pointed out in my analysis of the Star, V and Johnny constantly reflect each other. One of the most obvious ways is their literal reflection; if you look in a mirror during a relic malfunction, you’ll see Johnny, not V. But scenes are reflected as well; the first and last time V meets Johnny, they grab him by the shoulder from behind to get his attention as he turn to face them. The first time Johnny and V have a civil conversation, they’re sitting at a table in Tom’s Diner, Johnny’s foot on the table. This mimics their conversation in Mikoshi with Alt. Their conversation about taking a bullet for one another in the Pista Sofia where Johnny is sitting backwards on a chair while V is on the ground is also repeated moments later, as Johnny and V have their final conversation about who will stay and who will go with Alt. Johnny also mentions that he spent his first few weeks in NC laying in bed, staring at the ceiling fan. When he awakens in New Dawn Fades, what is he doing? Staring at the ceiling fan…in Pacifica, not far from the Pista Sofia. The boy who he gives the guitar to is even wearing V’s “favorite shirt”…the one we see them wearing in the first scene they’re introduced. There’s probably loads more, so feel free to share if you find any more. If you want to know more about why this is significant, make sure to read about V’s version of Alt’s poem.

So why do these reflections/echos matter? Well, what does one do with a reflection? Reflect. Johnny begins to examine himself through V, and he begins to realize he doesn’t like what he sees. If V calls him the man who saved her life, he’ll respond with “you have no idea how badly I want that to be true.” He tries his best to right his wrong only after this conversation with V, not only in Burning Love and Chippin’ In, but in other ways too. For example, it’s Johnny’s idea to call V’s loved ones to say goodbye on the roof scene, because “he wished that he had had a chance to.” Because of V, he grows, changes, and becomes a better person, just as much if not more as he seems to change V. As he leaves V’s grave, he even states that he has changed; that he’s wiser now, and won’t make the same mistakes. He states he won’t dwell on what happened, but somehow I doubt that, considering everything above.

The other theme of Narcissus and Echo is of transformation; after all, metamorphosis actually means "to change or transform.” Echo becomes, well, and echo, and Narcissus becomes a flower. V and Johnny also transform; not only physically between engram and human, but they transform one another. Both of them fall in love, and neither will move on. Echo falls in love with Narcissus, and Narcissus falls in love with his reflection. Because they refuse to transform the way they feel, they must die and transform physically. So who represents who in this scenario? In a way, Johnny is both. Johnny is a bit, well, narcissistic. He’s self-absorbed in his flashbacks, and adored by countless fans, yet ignores them in favor of his own company. He thinks everything is about him (Alt’s death, Samurai, etc.) and is willing to die for his beliefs. He is also constantly reflecting on himself through V. However, what really kills him is losing Alt; she tells him not to follow her (much like Narcissus tells Echo to leave him alone). He does anyway, and avenging her leads to his demise.

What’s especially sad about this is the way Johnny views transformation; he is very concerned with the idea of one’s individual identity, and hates the idea of turning into something you’re not. He despises that he’s going to turn V into himself by force. He hates dolls because he sees their behavior chip as something that changes them into something they’re not. He’s scared of V going to Blackwall not because it’s death, but because they “won’t be the same.” I don’t think Johnny ever wanted V’s body; again, not as a courtesy, but because it’s not him. After all, he could have just let nature take its course and let himself re-write their psyche, but instead he actively tries to save them as best he can. If V chooses to let him have their body, he hardly seems happy about it; especially compared to how happy he seems to see that part of him will live on in the way V refuses to give up should they choose to live on. By taking V’s body, he is no longer himself; rebel, rocker-boy, legend, and the guy who promised to save V’s life. Johnny in A New Dawn has lost his entire sense of self, his entire new and improved identity; one that learned from his mistakes and became a better person because of V. Johnny has The Tower tattooed on his arm, the card of (often painful) transformation and change. Yet this is what Johnny is most afraid of; not death, or even the not-so-bad sort-of hell that is Blackwall. He’s afraid of losing himself, and by losing V, he has lost a part of himself. The part of himself that was supposed to be a better person; who was supposed to save V’s life.

#cyberpunk 2077 #cyberpunk2077 #cyberpunk 2077 v #cyberpunk spoilers #v cyberpunk #johnny silverhand #new dawn fades #my posts

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papers4me · 3 years

Text

Fruits Basket,Se03, Ep7 (part 2)

Toxic kindness (Kureno):

I’ve touched upon this in se02 finale, but kureno’s toxic kindness mirrors the foolish traveler story. The foolish traveler says “ thank you” as he dies. Kureno ignores the knife in the hands of a person whom he saw with his own eyes abuse a number of children repeatedly. Kisa, Isuzu, hatori & yuki bodies testify of being beaten, cut, & bruised. Kyo’s psychological abuse was announced in front of kureno himself before akito summoned him in the beach arc. Akito has strangled her mom & screamed, cried & went manic in front of him. Yet, kureno walks toward her ignoring the knife, hugs her & tells her to press the button of change. Easy, right?

I highly respect the author that Akito didn’t respond positively. I don’t want kureno to be stabbed or want akito to run away & hurt the others. Also, I hate cheap drama. So, I’ll never support dramatic confrontations just for the sake of it. I want a realistic depiction of trauma & mental illness. The person who lived her entire life entitled to be obeyed, feared & having extreme authority, won’t just change cuz a foolish guy told her to.

-The responsibility of Nurturing children:

Akito’s outburst represent the author’s view on the role of nurturing children properly to teach them to be decent human beings. Akito was raised with extreme views neglect & narcissism. You’re special & must be loved (said her dad), Others MUST obey you (said the old maid), No one truly loves you (said her mom). So, her entire life she craved showcasing her power over these unfortunate zodiacs as it stems from the notion that they live for her sake.

Tohru on the other hand was raised with compassion, love & appreciation of other ppl. Tohru being timid, shy or unable to stand for her self are personal struggles that tohru deals with & not related to nurturing , While her trauma might be caused by a parent, it didn’t prevent tohru from being a kind & compassionate person because she was raised & taught abt these things.

The faults of abusing a child might lead to create faulty mentality & social issues. these kids might even grow to implement similar abuse onto others, while all that is understandable, it will never excuse their behavior. A lot cases of real life abusers were once kids who were abused. It is tragic. It explains why they become the horrible person they are today, but it never excuses the harm of others. The victim is not responsible of your screwed upbringing. Kisa, kyo, yuki, & Isuzu have nothing to do with Akira, Ren or akito’s troubles. They are victims themselves but they didn’t go & inflect harm upon others. Yes, they each developed a faulty coping mechanism & showed tendencies of rage, withdrawal, misplaced pain, but they were never a harm towards the society, & their peers.

Akito’s outburst paves the path for her redemption. How it will happen? I duno. Will someone once again holds her cheeks, talks her into bettering herself? I duno. She will atone. I can guess that based on the ED. but Will she be rightfully punished for her crimes? I duno. I hope so. Forgiveness is different from punishment. Thus, a type of punishment should be implemented. Abusers, whether victims or not, or atoned or not, must receive it. It is only fair.

- What will happen with tohru/ kyo’s confession/ confrontation? What is the exit from kyoko’s harsh last words! How can Furuba’s best mom hates kyo! My mind goes crazy!

Perhaps the following will happen:

(a) Kyo will confess the past, tohru forgive, kyo relieved, they kiss or whatever (happy ending). This could happen but while I would be happy for them, I’d hate that kyo’s entire trauma goes away with a simple “ I forgive you/ I love you”. Trauma doesn’t have a button you magically shut down. Kyo must unload his burden first! open his lid, then deal with it. Also, How will kyoko’s last words fit here? Are they just kyo’s imagination? really? it seems so anti-climatic. Imagine living with kyoko’s words for two seasons only for it to be in kyo’s mind! I really need kyoko to have bigger role than simple imagination. She’s either a haunting ghost or a holy perfect mother, rarely a real human character. Also, I need to include Akito. In this happy version, Akito gets stopped by shigure or even yuki! .. possible but too light for all the buildup drama & endless cliffhangers! lol

(b) Kyo will confess the past, tohru won’t forgive, kyo hurts himself as he sees her pain (dark ending). This ending is too dark for both. kyo hearing tohru’s words of un-forgivness will echo what he himself believe in he should be. Then where is hope for him? T_T Tohru not being able to forgive is logical since her mom is her world, but it also further ties tohru to her mom. She’ll be stuck again remembering her mom’s tragic words & last moment. Also, tohru will loose another person she loves even more than her mom. Here Akito will interfere somehow. Perhaps tries to kill tohru, then kyo sacrifices himself saving her. I duno.. too dark for furuba! lol

Ok. I give up. Anything I think gets stopped by kyoko’s words. I need kyo to push tohru away cuz this is the only logical progression for his trauma! I refuse to believe that kyo’s trauma was pushed into the climax & was written to embody furuba’s most mature themes of guilt, self-forgiveness, repeated mistakes, depression & others only to be quickly solved. But, tohru’s own issues were quickly presented & addressed in one short ep so..... augh! I want to hope for more from tohru, but I duno.. her growth has been so inconsistent, & I’m tired of being disappointed.

Next ep could either become furuba’s best ep or the worst ever!!! & this scares me so much.

Side Notes:

Kyo was repeatedly punished for his mistakes & faulty coping mechanism throughout the series, He is yet to be forgiven by someone or forgive himself. But he has been living the punishment of his own trauma.

Why is momiji still speaking German in the dub? I know his curse break is a secret, but He’s still holding on the facade of identifying with a rabbit in his burger, imitating his mom’s accent as he’s still so attached to her. I thought he let go of the past while bravery acknowledging it & moved on. Starting brighter, happier & with more hope. He isn’t still holding on to pain. He is looking forward now. =/

At first, i didnt recognize the room tohru & kyo are eating in! XD. It’s their living room, right? first time seeing it with all doors closed. weird.XD

Seeing Hiro’s curse break further reinforces that there is no logic on its breaking order. It just breaks. that’s all. If there is any reason behind it, then, momoji should be the first. He had always developed outside relationships with others way before tohru & not exclusive to her. Seeing as he has lots of friends playing with him. Also, he has always dealt with his own issues with level headed perspective, never too absorbed in sadness, never too self-focused, he never withdrew or lashed out. He never looked down on kyo, heck! I’ll argue that he even looked up to him!. hiro could've happened earlier too, as he was always protected from trauma & in a loving home, then yuki as he not only opened his lid but told akito in her face that he will forgive her & decided to never be by her side. His curse should have broken right on se02, ep25. You can place anyone afterwards. So, yeah, the curse just breaks, perhaps akito herself has a role as her insecurities increases. duno.

I dont care for the curse itself at all. As far as I’m concerned it is (a) fun gimmick, (b) analogy for abuse & trauma. The later is the core of furuba.

plz let next ep be well-done, well-written & well-direct. plz! T_T

#Fruits Basket #scared paper #Anime Only

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deripmaver · 3 years

Note

4 5 6 for ALL OF THE CaPri FANFICS

LKSJMDHGVLKSJ ALL OF THEM???

4: What’s your favorite line of dialogue? 5: What part was hardest to write? 6: What makes this fic special or different from all your other fics?

Ink On Paper (tongue fic) 4. lmfaoooooooo there isn't a whole lot of dialogue in this one oop-

Laurent nodded. The wax softened as he pressed his hand into it, erasing his previous message. Soft, warm, melting under his touch. He wrote again, I need someone who is not afraid to read out the insults I make towards the idiots at court. You have been fired, Damianos.

i guess it technically counts lmfao. i just wanted to show laurent post-trauma still able to make jokes and snipe at his husband so it wasnt all doom and gloom 5. i'm not sure exactly what "hardest to write" here means because like... a lot of these fic have serious gore or otherwise upsetting content, but both emotionally and actually writing wise i find that kind of thing actually pretty easy to write hahahaha. i think i got stuck with the chronology and the decision to make it non-linear made it flow a lot better. for the record writing laurent getting raped and then having his tongue cut out was actually very easy to write, i think i got it out in basically one go. #cancelme the more fucked up and intense the easier i find to nyoom through it 6. my first ever fic in the capri fandom!!!! hehehehhehehe <333333 Level Of Concern (plan B fic) 4.

Before Nicaise could say anything, Laurent spat, “Does he know you had your first heat?”

SURPRISE nic was the one who was pregnant the whole time!!!!!!! 5. this one i banged out REALLY quickly so i cant think of anything here 6. capri omegaverse!!!!!!! i wish there was more of this 🥺🥺🥺 Like Me (what if Auguste was also abused fic) 4. ******CW INCEST MENTION CW ABUSE MENTION******

“Your brother’s stuck his dick in every single member of your family,” Auguste spat out, laughing, crying, and so miserable he thought his heart would stop. His voice rose again, and he felt something burst from him as he screamed for the whole world to hear, “Did you know that? Did you, huh papa? Did he fuck you too?”

dude this line is so fucked up lmfao but i enjoyed writing it so much. actually this entire scene where auguste is having his breakdown was really intense to write and im really pleased with how it came out OR

Auguste grabbed him suddenly, looking up into his grief-stricken face desperately. “Please, Laurent,” he pleaded, voice breaking. “Please. Don’t let him end up like me.”

i felt entirely too clever with this line lmfao. i was like ~ooooohhhhh title drop~ im so dumb 5. i just remember this one like. dragged on for some time. i couldnt figure out what to do with it, how to get everything to coalesce around the final reveal about auguste 6. plot twist!!!!!!! plus auguste angst. i really enjoyed this one, i wrote it after watching the movie Spotlight which is one of my all time faves Softly, Gently 4.

“My King has been overexerting himself again, I presume?” Paschal sighed, shaking his head with a fond smile. “When have I ever done that?” Laurent cocked his head to the side, a wry smile on his face.

hehehehe sassy laurent my beloved <33333 5. honestly im just going to skip this one from now on lskjghmvlksjhglkvsjhdl i just get "stuck" sometimes without rhyme or reason and its usually on boring stuff, but then i cant remember later. the hardest part for me is when my dumb fucking adhd brain wont let me focus on writing but once i overcome that its usually pretty smooth sailing 6. horny omegaverse.................... my beloved............... giving men vaginas for horny reasons my beloved......................... Water of Life (birth fic)

“Do you want to hold him?” Erasmus breathed, eyes glassy. The baby cried, Erasmus bouncing him tenderly in those sunkissed arms. He looked apologetic. “Only for a moment, it’s not quite over yet.” A playful smile danced on Erasmus’ lips, and he brushed away a slick, damp curl from the wailing baby’s head. “A head this big, he certainly takes after Exalted.”

a cute, fun lil line in the sea of horrible angst lmfao ORRRRRR

Erasmus knelt before Damen, before Laurent. He said, “Exalted… Can you command his Highness to push?” Damen froze. “Do you mean…?” Erasmus nodded. “Alpha command.” Damen’s expression crumpled. He said, in a voice that shattered Erasmus’ heart, “I can’t. I can’t do that to him.” Erasmus licked his lips. “Exalted, in this state, he can’t push. His contractions are weaker. He’ll-” “I can’t,” Damen cried, clinging to Laurent’s limp body like a lifeline. “He’d… He’d never forgive me.”

damen is so sweet........ he loves laurent so much...... ORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

He stopped at the doorframe, turning to face Laurent with tears in his eyes, and whispered, “How long does it take, your Highness?” Laurent, shocked enough to respond, hissed, “What?” “I still wake up in the middle of the night thinking of it,” Erasmus said, voice thick in his throat, tears burning at his eyes. “How long until it’s over?”

real sad hours if u up click like. i love erasmus and laurent bonding over their shared trauma <33333333333333333333 laurent and erasmus friendship propaganda 24-fucking-7 bay bee!!!!! 6. unironically this is one of my fav fic ive ever written skdljmfhgvlksjdhflmgkvjshldkjfghvmls call the midwife is one of my favorite shows and writing this made me look at birth as something visceral and possibly horrible and traumatic. i wanna write more fucked up birth scenes, SO MANY MORE. ridley scott knew what he was doing Sandalwood (erasmus/kallias my sweet boys i love u so much) 4.

“I do,” Erasmus breathes, ducking his head, flushed as though embarrassed. “In the gardens, the perfume from the orange trees all around us on those summer nights.” Kallias smiles behind him – Erasmus knows his body so intimately he can feel it in how Kallias’ posture changes, though he can’t see the soft turn of his lips. “The scent was so cloying I thought it would drive me mad. It made me want to kiss you senseless.” Erasmus laughs, breathlessly, imagining the warm heat of Kallias’ mouth against his. “Don’t blame that on the orange trees, dear one.”

beloved..................... im weeping.......... 6. these two make me fuckign CRY ON THE REG I LOVE THEM SO MUCH MY SWEET BOYS YOU DESERVE THE WORLD- Wisps of Smoke******************* (lauguste fic) 4. ***CW EXPLICIT INCEST*** (i mean....... obviously lmfao)

“Call me what I like,” Auguste growled against his ear. “You know what I like.” He did. Laurent did. He knew everything Auguste liked – the slow flick of Laurent’s tongue on the underside of his cock, that tender spot behind his earlobe, the way Laurent’s thighs looked straddled atop him like his horse – and this. “Brother,” Laurent gasped, desperate, “Brother, please, harder. Harder.”

i wanted the incest to be explicitly part of the kink here lmfaoooooo 6. hehehehehehehhehehehhehe lauguste................... i need to write more of u But I Love It (laurent is allergic to latex fic) 4.

“Laurent,” Auguste said, voice high in warning. Laurent braced himself, stiffening visibly. With what seemed to be monumental effort, Auguste continued, “You know, Laurent. I’m proud of you.”

IM A SOFT BITCH OK???????????????? auguste is PROUD of his baby bro for overcoming his sexual trauma and getting that fat dick 6. SLJHVDLMKJDHGVLK PEOPLE FUCKING LOVED THIS FIC i tried to be funny and i think it worked. plus some softe bits thrown in. i also kind of see lots of humor fic where its a no abuse au, but i wanted to write something comedic where the regent still. existed u kno????? anyways hahahahha i dont think i can write anything like this again but im glad y'all liked it Is It Cold In The Water (slice of life fic) 4.

Laurent opens his mouth to say something cheeky, but instead, what comes out is: “Do you think Aimeric had the right idea?” Damen is quiet for so long, gaze serious and framed with his long, dark lashes, that Laurent wonders if he’d spoken aloud at all – and when he’s sure he had, he realizes Damen had remembered Aimeric after all. When he speaks again, the sleep is gone from his voice. “Laurent,” Damen says carefully, as though approaching a spooked horse, “Is something wrong?”

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 soft,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, 6. ruby likes this fic lskjdvhmflgksfjdhmvglkjsdhflkvgmjhlekjfhdvlgskjfhv im a SIMP- The Devil's Got Nothing On Me (AIMERIC FIC LEGGOOOO) 4. there are lots of lil nuggets in here!!!!

Aimeric blinks, and all he can think is, you knew? He says, "I – I just." "I am a patient man," Guion breathes, "I support everyone in my household. Everyone. But Aimeric, you are truly testing my patience. Your mother came to me in tears, begging me to find you. Look at what you did to her! There was nothing I could say until we found you!" "I'm sorry," Aimeric whispers, looking at Loyse, "I'm-" "Look at me," Guion roars.

this conversation was inspired by a very miserable encounter with my boss lmfao. fuck that guy and fuck guion

The regent, blue eyes sparkling - and Aimeric has never thought eyes could look just like a summer sky until now - says to Guion but really to Aimeric, "I was thinking I could take little Aimeric riding tomorrow. Just the two of us." Loyse says, before Guion can speak, voice trembling with relief, "I think that's a wonderful idea, your Highness."

~dramatic irony~ lmfaoooooooooo. WE know of course that this is a bad thing, but it's always fun to have characters make bad choices that they have no idea are bad. i also did this briefly in "Like Me" with auguste's ex wife taking nicaise to church because she was so overwhelmed at home and he offered to help. of course, the regent is always happy to help out. evil evil evil

"-was worried it might be difficult for him." A soft, lilting laugh. The guards had said the regent was in the library, and then there is Guion, right there with him. Aimeric is suddenly angry, not sure why his father is with the regent, who is his and no one else's. The regent responds, "I daresay it's been perfectly easy. It seems you've done most of the work already."

i wanted to highlight the fact that it was aimeric's neglect that lead him to the regent in the first place. hence "youve done most of the work already" - guion by ignoring and neglecting aimeric created the perfect environment for the regent to sweep in and take advantage. like leaving food out btwn 40-140 F is a perfect breeding ground for bacteria LOL. the books touch on that but i wanted to make it explicit

He is so, so ashamed. It's unbearable, the thought of her kind eyes, the way she cried for him, the way he pushed her away. Before he'd left to join the prince's guard, she had taken his hand, kissed it, and said in a voice fragile as glass, "It's been such a long time since I've seen you smile like that," but in that moment he could think only of the regent's letter warm in his pocket.

6. honestly i know ive sounded super conceited this whole time but i kind of tear up whenever i read through the end of the fic lmfao. aimeric is just so fucking depressing as a character and i love that i really got to explore that in this fic. he really didnt have anyone, did he????? he's like a tragic greek character where you just watch him stumbling towards his inevitable end and it hurts the whole time. its even worse on the reread ANYWAYYYYYYY thats it. thanks so much for the ask anon!!!!!!! feel free to send me more!!!

#captive prince fanfic #captive prince #captive prince fanfiction #ask meme #capri fanfic

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marshmallowprotection · 3 years

Note

Do you still like V after the events of Saeran's after end? Do you think he's horribly OOC in there or do think he's in character?

I hear so many V stans say he's out of character but I dont think so. It you consider what he's done in the Christmas DLC, in Another Story, and in the main routes of Deep/Casual story he's always been obsessed with Rika and always keeps making bad decisions (or keeps procrastinating making a decision) because he's unwiling to priortitize the RFA over Rika. Ray's after end is just a timeline where he decides to stop hesitating and fully commit to his obsession with Rika. Its him making the worst decisions possible.

If anything, its V's own route that feels OOC because I feel like there's too little chance he would stop obsessing over Rika and fall in love with someone else. But those are just my own thoughts and opinions. I'm curious to hear yours.

Personally, I said this when I was going through my initial reaction to Saeran’s AE so you could read that series if you haven’t already because I put it down in a lot more blatant detail. I’ll leave this free from this tag, though, don’t want to add dislike over there when I know a lot of people are hurt and upset. So, let me just say, SPOILERS AHEAD.

I have to say that I don’t think he was out of character. I sincerely don’t. I think was the game showing us truly how far V is willing to go for Rika and how far he had already gone for Rika. Listen, V’s not my favorite person in the world but I’d say that he went through a lot in his life and he has such a specific personality type that we can’t disregard. Both he and Rika were wrong in their relationship with each other. They both did wrong things.

V is a victim of Rika’s abuse, that is for sure, but V did say and push Rika to lean more into her more violent thoughts. It had a lot to do with his warped sensibility and what he was dealing with on his own, from his mother, to how his personal understanding of love was twisted and fractured. He said it himself in his route that he was obsessed with Rika and that he would do anything for Rika because that love was an infatuation stronger than any drug.

The Secret Ending, for example. He was willing to come and get everyone from the cabin. I don’t know what he thought was going to happen when he did that or if anyone would trust him. He’s got such a martyr complex that it pains me and I wish he valued himself more and admitted that he needed to stop this and just talk about what help he needed. I understand that it’s fucked up, and all of this is complicated because the boys cannot be found by the government.

But, he could have told Jumin.

He could have done a lot of things but he hesitated and got scared and tried to blame himself and do it on his own. He doesn’t want Rika to die. He doesn’t want Rika to go to prison. He doesn’t want Rika to suffer. Yet, he’s seeing how she’s hurting others and hurting herself and spiraling, and... sometimes it’s hard for me to understand why he lied. He doesn’t know about Mika, the AE said that as a fact, and I don’t know when he found out about Mint Eye.

But, he lies to cover Rika’s tracks? Is it for Saeran, V? Or, is it for Rika? I’m really concerned that I don’t know the answer here. I know that he tries to help save Saeran and get him out, he really does, but he always hesitates and he always reaches and fails, and I don’t know if that’s because he’s doing it to himself by self-sabotaging or because he legitimately doesn’t know how to get him out.

V’s greatest struggle in life is how indecisive and unsure he is. He frustrates me a lot. I see where he could find himself and where he could open up and be a good person and be happy. I see it. But, he won’t let himself let go and Rika and he keeps burning as Icarus does as he reaches out for the sun.

In this timeline, we see how deeply V can go if he lets himself commit to that state with Rika. In Ray’s Route, Jihyun saw us commit ourselves to Saeran and believe in him, and forgive him, and forgive Ray for what happened. However, it was our choice to forgive them... and you know the difference between what went down with Saeran and what goes down with Rika? Saeran was willing to say that he fucked up and that he needed to stop, that he needed to grow, and that he needed to change.

He apologized and he said that if you gave him a chance, he would love you and protect you. You accept that, but he’s still going to be working on that for a long time in his heart because he knows what he did. His willingness and capacity to grow and admit fault make him mature and respectable. Rika is never willing to admit her wrongdoings.

You saw that play out in Saeran’s AE from minute one and you can’t ignore that fact. When Jihyun went back to Rika. And, you know what I personally thought was going to happen? I thought he was going to take Rika, leave the country, and fucking run and never look back. I thought that he was going to take all of her sufferings and place it upon himself so nobody would ever be hurt again sans himself because he “thinks he deserves to be punished by her hand for what he did.”

However, no.

V did not do that.

V decided that he would fully immerse himself in Rika. He decided that the best thing to do was to take the wrong lesson from what he saw with Saeran and the MC. He stood by Rika thinking that if he pushed or tried hard enough to let her be himself instead of forcing her to be something else, maybe she would have a breakthrough like Saeran did. However, he couldn’t do that and let her go to jail, could he? Nope. So he had to make a deal with the devil. For Rika’s freedom and happiness, he had to hurt everyone.

He himself says in one of the floating space thoughts that he needed to research how to commit himself to that. V admits that he knows that he’s wrong to go this far with Rika, both of them admit that they know they’re wrong and that they knew it was wrong from the start.

We can see him on Day 3 with moments where he is... showing this guilt again and showing us that side of him that we saw before he cracked and committed to his fate with Rika. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like they’re dating or anything here, he’s merely giving Rika what she wants because he thinks it will help her and right what went wrong. It doesn’t. They’re both living in her fantasy for her sake. Rika’s selfish wish is a family where they pretend nobody was hurt and if she gets that... well, that’s one of the BEs.

V has been enabling a lot of her darker thoughts from the start, and for a while, he realized that he had to do something and he tried to do something by trying to go and remove Saeran from that place, but in the end, he felt like there was nothing left for him to do but commit to Rika and suffer in that selfish wish. V is willing to do anything for Rika, even hurt others when it comes down to it. He hurt the RFA and he betrayed them for RIka.

This is the worst-case scenario for the kind of person that V can become, and I don’t think it was out of character, I think it was just an aggressive reminder of how far you can fall if you let yourself give up and decide to burn all of the bridges that you have for someone that isn’t good for you. I think what I never expected was the fact that V was there when Mother Choi was killed. I never thought he was there.

I thought he either suspected it or learned well beyond the fact. But, no, he was there, he helped her move the body. He lied and covered her tracks and that was the moment that Rika herself said that she gave up on everything and fully committed to what she and Mika were planning on doing.

So, from when V started to enable her in the wrong ways by telling her revel in a devil, to the murder (even though it was a self-defense case, it was still traumatic to blackout and cut someone to save your own life), to Mika and the plans for the cult. It was a recipe for disaster. I never thought that V was there when it happened. That just...

That revelation to me, his willingness to drug Saeyoung, his willingness to let the brothers suffer for Rika’s happiness... this is revealing how far V could go for the person that we all know as Rika. The situation doesn’t always call for V to go and do something to this degree, but there’s no denying that V is a complicated character with a lot of weight on his shoulders.

He was never my favorite but... I can’t disregard what has been written and that I don’t feel like it was OOC. I just think it was showing us a reality where he could go too far. I realize that not many people are going to agree with me on this front and that’s okay. I don’t hate V. V fucked up a lot and there’s no denying that, I just wish that he never went back to Rika and he came to us for help in the first place.

I guess this is a bit more lengthy than I intended, haha. This isn’t to be mean to anyone that thinks differently than me. I really don’t want to get into arguments or anything over this. So, please, no discourse over this.

TLDR; This is just a reality where V went over the edge, and it’s just a possible timeline where he could lose himself to what he long tried to push back against but he ultimately gave up on himself and let himself be fully committed to Rika’s selfish wish. You can see the guilt and exhaustion in his eyes but he just lets himself become the villain because it’s the only way to protect Rika from suffering and the only way to “kind of” protect the boys.

#long post #discourse #ask #anon #mod kait #leaving this out of the fandom tag too

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marlmckitten · 4 years

Text

Mr & Mrs Kitty (An Introduction)

A new Blackinnon series by MarlMcKitten and PadsMcfoot

As so many of you know I have trouble letting go of past plots. And I spent three years working on a beautiful Blackinnon one with a friend. Unfortunately that story has come to a close but to keep it alive I want to share it with all of you. But since I also have commitment issues with writing an entire story at once. This is going to be written differently. It is going to be a number of short or long snippets of their lives in no particular order. This first ‘chapter’ is going to be a short, point form introduction to the version of Blackinnon that I will be sharing with you and all the important side characters that come with it. (Mainly bc my new Blackinnon is sooo different and all my plots are gonna shift a little now.) Thank you!

Marlene McKinnon:

your 70′s bombshell

loud, outspoken, unpredictable, wild

she fell in love with Sirius the day he arrived at Hogwarts on a motorcycle, grown out hair, new tattoos and a brand new family (The Potters)

she didn’t admit it for a while though

eventually they fell in love

she didn’t die with her family

but she was devastated

and pregnant

Bellatrix used occlemency to make her believe that it was Sirius who was killing her family

that was what made Sirius go to Azkaban

Marlene ran away, she made her way because she had to, she was pregnant and that was now the last living member of her family and the McKinnon line

she worked in shops, she kept a low profile and she did not tell anyone who she was

she gave birth to a beautiful young boy and named him Lynx McKinnon

the boy looked so much like his father

she would cry watching over him, her mind so conflicted on how Sirius would do that for her when her heart knew he wouldn’t

it was years before she saw Sirius again, but one day she just had to talk to him so she went to Azkaban to visit him

he believed she was dead and she asked him how the hell he could do that to her and her family in her emotional rant she let it slip that she had his son

this prompted Sirius to break out of Azkaban, finding out that he had a child and that Marlene was raising him all alone

Eventually they met up again, and Marlene ended up believing him. She always knew in her heart it couldn’t be true.

This Marlene was so much more grown up, (being a single mother wil ldo that)

They went into hiding again, now at Grimmauld Place. Lynx was terrified of his dad. It broke Marlene’s heart and she did not know what to do.

Years later, the war ended, her family was back together. Sirius never died and she wanted to add to her family.

They had two more children. Halo and Aurora Black.

All Marlene ever wants is for her whole family to get along.

Sirius Black:

such a rebel

but he has a weakness

blondes named Marlene McKinnon

he’s infatuated

you think James is bad? You should see Sirius around Marlene.

he never thought he deserved a happy ending but he got it with her.

Well- for a while. Before she died and he was framed for the murder of her and her entire family.

What was the point of living after that?

He didn’t see one.

Years passed. Nothing mattered and then one day ... “Hey split ends.”

He has a son.

He would not be the same shit parent that his were to him. He has to get out.

And he does and he finds them. It doesn’t take much convincing. His Marlene always trusted him.

But Grimmauld Place and all those childhood nightmares are back. He cannot be a father or anything to Marlene.

So instead he drinks.

A lot.

Too much.

He feels Marlene getting distance. He can tell Lynx hates him but he can’t stop himself. And he hates himself for it.

He dies. Through the veil .

But miraculously he finds his way out. Just in time to save his Marlene and his son during the war.

Him and Marlene lead all the Slytherin children out of the castle, away safely. (Even Pansy Parkinson.)

Marlene never forgives McGonagall for locking her son in the dungeouns during a war, but Sirius knows she was doing her best.

Him and Lynx never get a great relationship.

They’re always rocky. But he gets another chance with Halo.

This pushes Lynx away even more but Sirius can’t help it.

He tries to make peace with it and then Aurora comes.

And oh Merlin how he loves Aurora.

They have a very special bond.

Sirius is a great father to Halo and to Aurora and he tries to be for Lynx too.

It takes so much time.

But he has his wife, his kids and Sirius gets the life he never knew he deserved.

Lynx McKinnon

Sirius lookalike

he hates it

he hates his father

but his mom is everything to him

She works a lot when he is a kid, so he tries to help her out.

One day he pleads her to go to the fair with him. It’s the last day, all the other kids have gone and she promised. He is only 7 at the time.

He meets a lonely little girl named Juliet.

They become instant best friends and for the rest of his life no one will ever matter to him quite like his Ma and Juliet do.

Then he is sent to Grimmauld Place, away from Juliet. And he is so scared.

His father terrifies him. The house terrifies him. He sleeps with his mom most night.

Hogwarts comes and he goes there, an escape. And there he finds Juliet also. She’s a muggle born witch and the world is restored!

He protects her when he is sorted into Slytherin and she is a Hufflepuff.

But he misses his mom dearly.

He befriends an ambitious and beautiful young girl named Valencia Mae.

They also become close. The three of them are happy with just each other.

One day he realizes that he is in love with Valencia and he asks her out.

She says yes.

She comes from a very rich family so he tries his hardest to impress her.

Lucky for him, she has some daddy issues.

He learns that he is a very talented artist.

When he decides to persue his dreams as an artist Valencia dumps him.

He is left devastated.

Lynx drops out of school, he leaves everything behind. He leaves his home.

He’s a little dramatic. (Don’t tell him that he gets that from his father.

But years, and years later, he is reunited with Valencia.

They’ll get a chance at their own happy ending.

Halo Black

such a mama’s boy

but so protective over his baby sister

loves his dad too

really a family guy

from a young age he wants to have his own family one day

he’s a little spoiled but doesn’t know it

doesn’t like Lynx much, doesn’t get why his brother doesn’t love his dad like he does

Lynx tries to tell him that growing up with a single mom then going through a war is much harder than growing up in a mansion with two happy parents and the Black family fortune

Halo doesn’t see it.

He has a lot of back problems.

He’s awkward and so clumsy it could put Tonks to shame

he looooves his (very much alive) Uncle Remus

He wears cardigans and he is a hopeless romantic, after a girl in his year who he idolizes in his head

they are doomed to always be in love but not have anything ever go their way

truly tragic but the love story Halo always wanted

Aurora Black

if Halo is too much of a mama’s boy he’s got nothing on how much of a daddys girl Aurora is

she can’t function without her father

and her brother

oh boy is she spoiled

and optimistic

naive

honestly just not that smart

but has the purest heart and the best intentions

she is always trying to get along with Lynx even though she doesn’t even meet him until she’s about 6 years old

she loves Lynx’s art

she messages him all the time, and never gets a response

she is bullied a lot for being air headed.

And it gets bad.

Some girls play a nasty trick on her.

She is turned into a werewolf.

It breaks Sirius’ heart the most.

She would have been killed if Halo hadn’t have saved her life.

She then keeps to herself more, believing that she is ugly and a monster.

Remus helps and Tonks helps but she thinks she will forever be alone.

After all Remus was until his late 30′s.

But she still manages to keep a smile on her face.

She really loves animas.

Her life ambition is to open a bakery with her father.

She never wants to leave her family

She can even melt Lynx’s heart when she really wants to

but man is she s t u b b o r n

and as sweet as she is she can piss anyone off with her stubbornness to always get her way and not see anyone else’s

Juliet Buchannan:

Lynx’s best friend

not the brightest, but very honest

she keeps Lynx from going too hard, he keeps her grounded

but they both really like getting high together

and talking about aliens

Lynx around Juliet is very different than regular Lynx

she happens to love Sirius, calls him Mr McKinnon and he loves it

Calls Lynx Kitty.

Calls Marlene Mrs Kitty.

She goes wherever the wind takes her

Carefree.

Despite her very lonely childhood.

Her father was abusive and neglectful.

She spent more of her time with Lynx and Marlene

They are her family.

Works in Disneyland when she is older as a face character.

She literally just wants to see everyone happy all the time.

But she makes a lot of bad decisions and always has the wildest travel stories

Valencia Mae:

the love of Lynx’s life

BDE

she gets what she wants

her family exploits muggles to make their fortune

hardcore business woman

loves fashion

never goes anywhere without her Louboutins

she really isn’t that into the wizarding world and hates Hogwarts

but still gets good grades

ambitious AF

dont mess with her

seriously don’t

she will also stand up for Juliet once she is forced to take her in

dating Lynx means dating Juliet as well

really not the jealous type though so she doesn’t care

just a bad bitch in fancy heels

wine

Lyra

the girl Halo is way too in love with

she is not easy to love

she is so troubles Halo just wants to fix her

they are on again, off again faster than anyone can keep track

she has a small thing for Lynx and also one for Sirius

she has serious abandonment issues

the bottom line is she just wants to be loved and accepted but doesn’t know how to be

she does not have a strong sense of self-identity

Sirius really takes a liking to her, and is kind to her, she misjudges that and develops her tiny crush

but it is always Halo she loves

she just doesn’t know how to

she’s there to create the drama without meaning to

Lynx hates her, but she’s good at art so he helps her with that

Valencia and her would kill each other if given the chance

Aurora adores Lyra

Marlene hates seeing a girl break her baby’s heart

Just so lonely.

#blackinnon #sirius black #marlene mckinnon #au #everybody lives #let's see how this goes #fanfiction #in progress

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luobingmeis · 4 years

Note

Pls give us the AtLA rant, I have a mighty need!

askjskjsdkjdskj i copy and pasted my rant from last night bc imo the raw energy of “i am genuinely shocked and angry (in a good way)” is something i cannot recreate right now

so here is the rant i went on in my groupchat + the secret side conversation i had in DMs bc, in my 3 person gc, 2 of us are watching it for the first time and i already knew some stuff going in so i didn’t want to spoil

it’s all under the cut bc it’s long as fuck (like almost 2k words if not more)

but basically i go into my own type of avatar-state while talking abt zuko!!!!

(I HAVEN’T STARTED BOOK 3 YET, PLEASE NO SPOILERS)

groupchat:

but i just finished book 2 and it took a completely different turn from what i thought it was going to like i am actually in shock and have officially reached my point of "zuko what the actual fuck" because the choice to do good was right there after everything he and iroh went through and after all that he saw and letting aang go multiple times and he was starting to be happy in this new life and saw that he and iroh could be free and he still went back to azula for his pride and honor, turning against aang and katara after he and katara could have finally reached a moment of understanding

but like what the fuck i am more mad at s2 zuko than i was at s1 zuko bc, in season 1, the avatar and his honor was the only thing he thought about, but in s2, he met people who had their lives ruined by the fire nation!! and he worked with them!!!! iroh was showing him what it was like to live completely free, doing what he wants!!!! and he was starting to understand!!!!! but im so pissed and so fucking shocked bc, this entire fucking time, i was like "oh yeah the end of s2 is going to be when zuko joins, right? bc i mean book 3 is fire, so zuko has to teach him fire bending" but no, he willingly chose to keep pursuing the avatar after fucking everything he has seen, after knowing how people were affected by the fire nation, after everything iroh did for him

and he knows what he did!! he knows!!!!! he told azula that he betrayed iroh!!!!!!! he fucking knows

when iroh showed up to fight both him and azula, i was fucking losing it bc iroh's love has been so unconditional for zuko, he supported zuko through everything and even helped him try to capture the avatar at times, but that was the final straw

zuko willingly walked into world domination. he doesn't even fucking trust azula! he never has! but she brought up his pride and honor, and she's powerful as all hell, and he sided with her! after everything!

i really thought he was learning that his quest for the avatar was fruitless! it's not going to bring him happiness! his life in the fire nation will never return to normal

aang has saved his life so many god damn times, him and katara were reaching a point of understanding! they fucking talked about how the fire nation took both of their mothers

and i'm so floored bc this was all willing

when zuko was exiled, he had no choice! it was either find the avatar or have no home. but he was finding a home! he finally seemed so happy with iroh! it really seemed like iroh's teachings were getting through to him! that he was learning what he really wanted (freedom)! but he still went back to the fire nation except this time he chose to. he looked at the people he was starting to understand, at the man who has been a better father than ozai ever could, and willingly chose to turn away for the sake of pillaging and conquering and "honor" in a family that doesn't care about him

at first, i was like "this has to be a trick, right? he's fighting them now so that he can backstab azula later, right?"

but when katara said to him "i thought you changed!" and he said "i have" i was fucking besides myself

im so angry but im also fucking exhilirated bc this i did not expect

i would've put so much money on there being a meaningful moment of zuko stepping up alongside aang

like, i was so sure this would happen

i was convinced

but holy shit

and fucking!!! zuko knows what iroh went through at ba sing se with the loss of his son (and probably the realization that what the fire nation was doing was fucked up) and zuko still turned against iroh

after everything iroh did for him! iroh was the only person who stood by zuko's side during everything. he pleaded zuko's case over and over, he seeked out the gaang bc he needed their help and he was so sure that zuko would make the right decision!!! he saw zuko let the avatar go before, but when zuko was faced w/ azula's assistance and the avatar right there, he just went back to his old ways except worse bc this is willing

and like

am i discounting the manipulations of azula and ozai? no!!!

that definitely had a hand in it, bc azula has been dangling honor and ozai's love in front of zuko the entire time

but i really thought that the end of s2 would be when zuko sees past all of that

except he turned back to the family that doesn't even love him, betraying the only person who truly cared for him and loved him unconditionally and wanted the best for him, and now he has a direct hand in the collapse of ba sing se and world domination

like okay let it be known that this is some of the best writing ive seen and im fucking obsessed and im living for this and it's so fucking good so my anger is fueled by excitement and shock

and also i fucking love negative character development

like. i love zuko. and literally i think that's part of this too bc i was so sure that he was going to make the right decision

and instead i had to face the dawning realization that he wasn't

and now he and azula are teaming up to end the earth kingdom

like i thought i knew where this was gonna go and now i'm genuinely lost (in a good way)

and like i haven't even touched upon aang's chakra being locked bc he went back to katara

(also don't even get me started on the painful irony of iroh telling aang that sometimes it's better to choose love and friendship over power)

(like really don't get me started because i'm about to combust)

after everything iroh did for zuko!!!

after the gaang has saved his life!!!!!!!

and the best thing is, it was shocking but still not out of character

that's the beautiful thing

this was always an option for zuko

it's the point of the crossroads!!! you can go either way!!!!!!!

i just thought he was gonna go...................... the other way

and like literally the fact that he sided with azula after obviously not liking her basically his entire life (or at least his adolescence) is so fucking telling for how he made this decision bc. unless there's some behind the scenes stuff, he saw the avatar and his pride and his honor so clearly, and he saw how powerful azula was becoming, and decided that he would still take it even in the face of azula's manipulations and violence

if that makes sense

if you can't tell, i'm kinda reeling right now

like, apparently zuko wants his honor/power so badly that he'll side with azula!!!

after they spent an entire season fighting her

but also....... azula finally gave him that option of working together. before, it was always azula vs. zuko

now, though, azula was offering a world dominating olive branch

so now like im thinking....... what if that happened earlier? would zuko always have turned? or is it just because everything he ever wanted was so close to him?

and it's wonderful bc it's still so in-character. like, even siding with azula, it's not bc he suddenly cares for his sister or whatever, but it's because he chose honor/pride/the fire nation over freedom/giving up what he always wanted. i don't think he was choosing azula, he was choosing his pre-written destiny over making his own

god is any of this making sense i am literally so fucking shocked

i literally need like 3 episodes solely on iroh at this point bc you know what probably fucking sucks??? losing his first son to the war in ba sing se, and then losing his nephew (who he saw as another son) to starting war in ba sing se

like? that has to feel like a fucking slap in the face ten times over

especially bc iroh left the fire nation with zuko (and probably for zuko), most likely giving up his full title there

and like? the fighting sequences are so cool but it was so fucking heartbreaking to hear iroh tell aang "you go on ahead! i will hold off both of them!" because like. iroh can't wait any longer! he thinks (and knows) that zuko is making the wrong choice, but he can't wait any longer! he can't stand by while zuko dominates an entire city and say "oh, he's really complicated, he's going through something"! because zuko did go through it and he came out of it and he still made that choice! iroh probably feels like all his patience, all his efforts, all his teachings and love, went to fucking waste! because it didn't get him anywhere!

like, iroh probably still loves zuko but he probably feels so fucking betrayed and hurt and disappointed because, after seeing zuko let the avatar go before and seeming so happy, he probably thought that zuko was changing for the better! and now, he has to fight his niece AND his nephew! this no longer is zuko insulting some other general or his crew that iroh can fix by explaining what happened w/ ozai and how zuko is very conflicted! this is a situation that zuko willingly walked in, even after hearing and knowing all of iroh's teachings!

anyways! poetic cinema

like also pls dont think im ignoring everything else in the episode, like aang's chakra being locked was fucking wild and that entire episode was so good, with the fight sequences and everything abt azula, and toph’s metal bending, just forgive me bc im a little uhhhhh distracted by a twist that i genuinely did not expect

i feel bad for how focused i am right now on zuko but also how can i not be bc that feels so connected to literally everything else

also tho on a brighter note, true serotonin was when appa finally returned :')

it's so wonderful that appa broke out by himself. he did it all on his own! no one else was there. at all :)

(im kidding that was actually a very important moment in zuko's character)

(or at least i thought it was going to be)

(well actually it still is, but it's come to the question of "you can always say what you're going to do in a situation, but what happens when you're actually faced with it?”)

DMs:

i know that zuko gets redeemed, right? like i know, in the end, they will all team up

but the fact that it didn't happen now

holy shit

like.......... a whiiiiiiile ago on tumblr, i saw a post that was like "zuko has a great redemption but he needed to work for it bc he did awful things" and like? tbh yeah i got that s1 zuko was the antag and he did shitty things but like...................... this feels so much more poignant

like zuko literally has a direct hand now in the collapse of the earth kingdom

literally not to be dramatic but this is like. taz-reveal levels of shocked right now.

i thought i knew the zuko arc

bc i know he gets redeemed!!

so, after watching this season, i was thinking "oh okay it's gonna be this season! makes sense!"

but.... deep down

deep down..............

a part of me was kinda like "so is season 1 zuko....... it? is that the end of his antagonisms? is season 2 meant to be his redemption? i dig it, but i thought it would be more...................... dramatic"

well!

got what i wished for!

and i am in the best kinds of hell

like i almost feel bad bc so much other stuff happened in the finale (like, for example, aang's chakra being locked, which i screamed at, it was so good) but like. i genuinely did not expect this.

like. holy fuck.

like, now i really understand why people say that zuko needed to really work for his redemption bc he and azula are tag teaming the end of the earth kingdom

#answered #jordie watches atla #Anonymous

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sailorshadzter · 4 years

Text

across the sea and back again. chapter 4.

this chapter took me a lot longer to finish than i anticipated, but here it is, finally done! we’re getting close to the end and i’m excited to say i will fully finish this fic before next week!! whether it ends up being 5 chapters as planned, or maybe 6, it’s coming to an end and i hope you guys are enjoying it as we go!

just a few notes: there’s no conflict with the night king- that in itself would take at least two additional chapters to include- and i really wanted to make this au different, so i said fuck it and scrapped the idea. initially, i was going to do it because i need to figure out what to do with the dragons, but i have an idea for them finally!

i did mean to bring arya home in this chapter, but it felt like too much once i got through half of the chapter, but i promise the last of house stark will join her family very soon!!

thank you to everyone for your continued support on this fic. reading your comments here & on ao3 fuel me to keep going. i appreciate every comment, reblog, and like you guys give me. even if i dont respond to them all, know i see them & truly, truly appreciate the nice words!

that being said...here’s chapter four. :)

Watching Jon retake the North was enough for those who had yet to offer their support; the sons and daughters of remaining Northern houses- Umber, Manderly, and the like- they flocked back to Winterfell to beg on their knees for forgiveness of their father's sins. Given of course, for beyond the sheer fact that they would need all the support they could get in the coming battles, Jon could not bring himself to punish a son for his father's crime. He supposes it's only a matter of time before the declaration for his claim to the Iron Throne will be made.

"Dorne promises support." It's Sansa's voice cutting in, bringing him back from the depth of his own thoughts. They sit together in her solar, or perhaps it belongs to them both, considering the amount of time they spend together inside. She sits behind the large oak desk, dozens of scrolls and letters scattered across the top, some not even yet open. "You know how they hate the Lannister's." She smirks, blue eyes lifting from the letter as she tosses it down among all the others. "But they will ask for something in return." In the few weeks since they had reclaimed Winterfell as theirs, she's stepped into her role as Queen in the North as if she had truly been born for it. It's a role that suits her far better than any other one ever could. "With winter coming, we have little to offer them right now." She sighs, shaking her head as she reaches for another of the scrolls, this one still yet to have been opened.

continue reading on ao3 read chapter 1 on tumblr read chapter 2 on tumbr. read chapter 3 on tumblr

He crosses the room and settles onto the edge of the desk as she leans back in her chair, red hair a stark contrast to the black wool gown she wears. Before he can speak, her features are twisting in dislike, blue eyes narrowing as she scans the letter she reads. "What is it?" He asks, a cold sense of dread washing over him. After all they've gone through, he can't think about more problems already arising.

"It's from Tyrion." She answers, but she does not pull her gaze from the letter.

"Lannister?" He asks as if she could even mean another man of the name, his voice full of the surprise he feels. She looks up then and nods, handing him the letter that she holds. Blinking, he turns his gaze down and reads the few lines of script written along the parchment.

Lady Stark, I'm certain you're surprised to see a letter from me, but I hope this finds you in good health. The rumors of your disappearance and death circulated, even here across the Narrow Sea, and I was not certain I'd hear your name spoken again. It has been told that you and Jon have reclaimed Winterfell in the name of House Stark and they call you their queen. Though my alliance is with another queen, I commend you for your strength and ability to take back what always belonged to you.

Surely you must wonder why I am writing you, it is on behalf of Daenerys Targaryen, the true heir to the Seven Kingdoms, and thus the one who should sit upon the Iron Throne, not my sister. I'm sure you wish to see her off the throne as much as anyone.

We have heard the rumors of your half brother's birth, that he is Targaryen born. Daenerys does not wish to fight for the throne with her own blood, but she will, and I am giving you this warning now: do not fight her. My queen is a ruthless one and she will stop at nothing to claim what is hers. Stand with her and take the Iron Throne in the name of House Targaryen. Jon, if truly of her bloodline, will be rewarded for his alliance, as well as the North.

I write to you in hopes there need be no war between our two sides, we have a common enemy in Cersei and thus a common goal. We have arrived in Dragonstone, the old seat for House Targaryen. Write to me here with your answer.

Best regards, Tyrion Lannister, Hand of the Queen.

Jon looks up from the letter to meet her gaze, though she looks lost in thought. "Hand of the Queen? For Daenerys Targaryen?" He speaks in disbelief, recalling the Lannister imp from those days so many years ago, from before they had ever left Winterfell. "Of all the people..." He goes on with a shake of his head, tossing the letter to join the others she's set aside. "What do you think of it? You know him better than I do."

Sansa sighs, shrugging her shoulders as she leans forward, elbows propping her up on the desk as she lowers her cheek into her palm. "Tyrion is no different than the rest of them, kind to me as he was. He looks to serve himself, as most men do." She sighs again, raising her face from her hand, stretching her arms across the desk. "I think we must talk with the lords about it, before we do anything." Jon nods, knowing this was not a choice they could make on their own. "But..." She trails off as she turns her gaze back to him. "He is right- if we don't play this out right, we will have two wars to fight for the Iron Throne." Jon nods, knowing she's right.

Though she opens her mouth to speak on, she's cut off by the door swinging open and in comes Rickon, carrying Robb who is giggling and babbling, one little fist extended up into the air. In the few weeks since their taking of Winterfell, Rickon has fallen quite hard for his little nephew. Although the initial realization that Jon was not his brother by blood was hard for him to understand and accept, he has come to learn that brotherhood isn't all about the blood they share. Sansa smiles as her little brother approaches where they sit, the worries of the realm forgotten as she leans in to brush a curl from her son's forehead. "Look Sansa," Rickon says excitedly as he passes the baby into her arms, but so he faces forward to still look at him rather than his mother. "Where's Robb?" He coos as he slides his hands over his face and then pulls them back with a quick movement. "There he is!" He cries and at once Robb is full of giggles, his gummy smile bringing a chuckle from both adults as they watch the scene unfold.

Her family, though once broken and pulled apart, was slowly coming back together. It was only a matter of time before they found Bran and Arya, until they were all together again. And she would look forward to that day until it came.

[ x x x ]

In the days that follow the letter arriving from Dragonstone, Sansa wrestles with the choice she knows that they must ultimately make. She can't quite explain it, but she doesn't trust Daenerys Targaryen- something tells her that this dragon queen will bring with her destruction, not salvation, and in the end they will face a war far bigger than the one with Cersei Lannister. It's another gamble, the idea that runs through her mind every time she's faced with the thought, a gamble far bigger than any of the others they've made up until now... But she knows, there's no fighting the power of a dragon, especially when there was three of them.

Three days after the letter arrived, the Northern lords are assembled in Winterfell's great hall. Sansa and Jon sit side by side at the head table, looking out into the sea of faces staring back at them. "Thank you for coming on such short notice," Jon is the first to speak, as he so usually is. Though she is queen, Jon is her voice, his ability to rally men to his side uncanny. She admires his ability to boost the confidence of even the lowest man, his ability to fill hearts with hope, with faith in doing the right thing. "The queen has received a letter from Tyrion Lannister." A murmur rises up among the lords- there is little trust in the imp, as there is little trust in any Lannister. "He writes on behalf of Daenerys Targaryen." The voices fall silent and he watches as shock registers on nearly every face in the room. "They sit in Dragonstone as we speak, making plans to sail for Westeros so Daenerys may lay claim to the Iron Throne."

"To claim a throne that does not belong to her?" Lord Royce speaks first from where he sits beside Brienne of Tarth, a few lords nodding in assent around him. "She is not the rightful heir, as she must have heard by now."

"Aye, she's heard," Jon goes on, rising up to his feet, sweeping around to the front of the table they sit behind. "She offers peace if we support her claim to the throne."

"Or so says the imp," Howland Reed says, lifting his shoulders in a shrug. "Can such a promise be trusted?" There is little love for the Targaryen name, Jon knows this as well as any man, especially there among the Northmen. They have not yet forgotten what happened to the Stark men in King's Landing so many years ago. And though they support Jon, it is only because of the love they had for him to begin with, because of the Stark blood that still yet runs through his veins. They consider him far more Stark than Targaryen and he supposes he is quite thankful for that.

"Probably not," it's Sansa who speaks now and all eyes turn to their queen, including Jon's, who shifts where he stands to focus on her. They have discussed at length what they plan to do and they can only hope the Northern lords trust in them enough to go along with it. "But we think we should offer our support to her, at least for the time being." A heavy silence falls, the gazes staring back at her now narrowed, their shock outweighing the anger they surely must feel at her words.

"You wish for us to align ourselves with a Targaryen?" Lord Manderly spits, though he shoots Jon an apologetic sort of look, who shrugs as if it means little to him. "And then what? We're to help her reclaim the throne that belongs to Lord Snow?"

"Not entirely," again it's Sansa speaking, hands folding together atop the table she still sits behind. "We cannot fight a war against three dragons." She goes on, blue eyes sweeping across the room, taking in the sight of every face that stares back at her. "But we can offer her support and gain her trust. From there we can determine what kind of threat she really is to us."

Silence descends once again and after several moments, Jon speaks again. "We will make no decision that you all don't agree with." He speaks honestly, recounting the words he and Sansa had discussed only the night before. "If you don't think it wise, then we will not invite her here, we will not go along with our plan. But..." He trails off, turning so he might look at Sansa across his shoulder. "The queen is right, we cannot fight a war against Daenerys Targaryen and her dragons."

"As I've told you before, you have House Mormont's support in all that you do, Jon Snow." Lyanna Mormont cuts in with a sharp nod of her head. It takes but a moment more for other heads to nod, for voices of assent to fill the room.

"We trust your judgment." Lord Umber speaks, another child that's been put into the place as head of his house. Beside him, Lady Karstark sits, nodding her head in agreement. In the end, all of the lords come to agree with the terms they've spoken of. And so when they've been fed and most have set out to return to their own houses, Sansa pens her letter to Tyrion, knowing that there would be a long journey ahead. For all of them.

[ x x x ]

"A letter, my lord."

It's Varys that hands him the letter, having come into his chamber just a moment before, not bothering to offer the courtsey of a knock. They have known one another so long now, he doesn't mind all that much. Not that Varys would care if he did. Tyrion glances at the scroll now in hand, the Stark seal the one he's been waiting to see. He breaks it open and unrolls the scroll to reveal the neat, slanted script thats written across the parchment. "She invites us to Winterfell to discuss terms of a potential alliance." He's shocked by the words written, he had not thought Sansa Stark to be so easily swayed. But then again... He supposes she's never faced a foe with a trio of dragons at her beck and call. Though, something tells Tyrion if there was anyone to ever oppose his queen, it would be her.

"And you think she means it?" Varys asks, coming around to stand at his back, hands tucked into the sleeves of his robe. "You know what the whispers say..." Even here in Dragonstone, the whispers of Westeros reach him. "That the North and Dorne both support Jon Snow as the rightful heir to the Iron Throne. That the Iron Islands will come behind him, too, thanks to Theon Greyjoy." They know the people of King's Landing would not so readily accept a Targaryen ruler- after decades of violence, they would look to the man who had taken back the North with little bloodshed. They would look to the Northern girl they knew once as their future queen, bethrothed at one time to their golden prince Joffrey. The peasantry would flock to Jon Snow and Sansa Stark long before they would ever stand with a Targaryen.

"You sound as if you think we should stand behind a different queen." Tyrion sighs, tossing the letter down onto the desktop as he reaches for his goblet of wine, draining it in a single gulp. "I have no choice but to believe her," he says then, pouring himself another goblet full. "It looks as if we're to head North."

[ x x x ]

Sansa spends her days ensuring that Winterfell is prepared to welcome the dragon queen and her army of Dothraki, not to mention her three dragons. It's been nearly a month since Tyrion's response had come to assure her that Daenerys sought peace and that they would make haste to arrive at Winterfell before winter came. The winter winds have begun to blow and most certainly, winter was upon them, and so she knows it is only a matter of time before Daenerys Targryen arrived on their shore.

It's a rare moment where she's not working and instead, she's settled into Robb's chambers, the baby tucked into her arms as he sleeps. Outside in the courtyard, despite the flurries of snow that fall from the cloudy skies, Jon spars with Rickon, teaching the boy to use a sword as Ned Stark had once taught him and Robb when they were Rickon's age. She can hear every clash of the wooden swords they use in place of steel and the occassional gasp from a crowd that must be gathered around. For a moment, it's as if they were back to their happy, carefree days of childhood.

She wishes things never have to change, but she knows yet another war looms ahead and they must be ready for it's arrival.

Knock, knock.

"Come in," she softly calls and it's Lord Royce there, stepping inside the the room to come and stand before her. "Have you heard word from White Harbor?" She asks, thinking that it must be Daenerys he comes to speak to her of. But, to her surprise, he shakes his head.

"There's a rider... At the gate." He says instead and she cannot say why, but a lump rises to her throat. Something tells her she must greet this rider herself. And so she rises up to place her son carefully into his cradle and she follows Lord Royce from the room and down the halls until she takes to the stairs, heading down into the main corridor and then out the double doors into the courtyard.

"Sansa!" It's Rickon's voice calling out to her from the far side of the courtyard, where he and Jon are still sparring. "Come watch!" He shouts, waving his wooden sword high into the air. A laugh escapes her and she raises her hand to wave back to him, though she turns and heads instead for the gates, which as she approaches she raises her hand to the guard in the tower, giving him the go ahead to allow the gates to be opened. There, waiting to come through, was a single horse drawn sled, though a somewhat wild looking brunette walks alongside it. By now, Jon and Rickon, along with several others, have begun to approach where she stands, watching as the sled comes through the now open gates.

Her heart has begun to race, faster and faster, her breath catching in her throat as the person settled into the sled comes into her view. "Hello, Sansa." Bran says in a strange, stoic sort of voice, but his eyes... Those are the eyes of the little brother she knew from childhood. She chokes on a sob and she rushes towards the sled, climbing into the back of it so she can throw her arms around him. "Though I suppose I am to call you your grace now," his voice is at her ear and she lets out a laugh, only hugging him tighter. When she wills herself to let him go, it's so she might stare at him, taking in the sight of him, grown nearly into a man. If he were to stand, she knows he would stand taller than even she. "There's much for us to discuss." Bran says in that same strange voice, a voice she doesn't know. But he's home, so she doesn't care about what he sounds like or even how he looks. She only cares that he's home.

He's home and so is another piece of her heart.

[ x x x ]

It's late into the night, but they sit up in the rooms they've had prepared for Bran to stay in, the rooms that once belonged to him as a child. Bran and Jon sit before the hearth, quiet as Sansa tucks the blankets over Rickon and Robb who both sleep peacefully in the bed that was meant to be Bran's. She can't help but to smile as she brushes a curl from Rickon's forehead, leaning over to kiss both boys on the tops of their heads before she crosses the room to settle into the chair she'd only just vacated moments before. "He looks just like you," Bran says to Jon, gesturing towards the sleeping pair, meaning of course the baby that sleeps beside his youngest uncle. "Though he will be taller than you." Sansa can't help but to spare a laugh at Jon's expense, but even he must chuckle at the comment.

"Have you... Seen him?" Sansa asks after a moment, turning her gaze towards her younger brother. In the last several hours, he's spoken to them of many things, including his visions and his role as the Three Eyed Raven. Perhaps it's wrong of her to ask, but to know a glimpse of her son's future... Even just the smallest inkling that he will be happy. That everything they're doing is going to be worth it in the end. Bran's eyes swerve from the bed and instead fall onto her, holding steady for a long moment before he gives a single nod. Something like relief rushes through her and she lets out the breath she's been holding, sinking back into her chair.

"I've seen them all," Bran admits after a moment, glancing from one face to the other. He's seen the fates of all their children, though the rest have yet to come. Someday, Winterfell would be full of the laughter of children, much as it had once been when they had all been children within the walls. "But it's a long road ahead."

Jon casts a quick glance towards Sansa, reaching out a hand to tenderly touch hers. At the touch, she startles, but her lips curve with a smile as she turns to face him for just a moment. "Daenerys will be here any day." Jon says when his gaze has settled back onto Bran's, who nods, indicating he already knew this. Jon wonders what else his little brother knows, what else he's keeping to himself. But he knows he must trust him, just as Sansa once trusted him; it was faith in each other, faith in knowing that there was always one person who would keep you safe no matter what. "We must be ready."

"You will be." Bran says, though he turns his gaze to Sansa as he speaks. Though he cannot say it aloud, he knows it will be her that in the end, saves them from the destruction that Daenerys Targaryen brings. He didn't have to tell her what would come because she would never waver, she would never back down from doing what she thought was right. Bran knows that his sister would stop at nothing to protect her home and her family, though she might not know it yet, there was nothing Sansa would not do in the future to protect both her son and Jon.

And that alone makes her the most dangerous player of them all.

[ x x x ]

It's the next morning when a rider comes through the gates with the alert that Daenerys Targaryen had arrived in White Harbor. But by the time the rider came, the line of soldiers had already been spotted as they made their way from the docks to Winterfell. Sansa stands on the battlements, watching as in the distance, the soldiers make their way down the road that will lead them through her gates.

She's still yet standing there when the dragons come, screeching and belching flames as they fly overhead. "Sansa." It's Jon. She turns to face him where he stands just an arm's length away, his Stark features a little more solemn than usual. "It's time." Sansa nods, silent as she steps closer to him, slipping into his arms a moment later. He holds onto her for several long moments until neither of them can ignore it no longer.

Daenerys Targaryen has arrived in Winterfell.

[ x x x ]

The mother of dragons is not all that Sansa expected her to be.

She is soft and small, with wide violet eyes and silvery hair that she wears in the most elaborate of braids. But she strides into the hall with a confidence that reeks of arrogance and though she smiles prettily enough, Sansa can see right through her. Suddenly, it's Lord Baelish's voice that floats through her thoughts; everyone is your enemy, everyone is your friend. For an instance, she's in another place entirely, a place full of ash and dust, something small and sharp in her hand... Sansa blinks and the vision is gone, but Daenerys still yet stands there, for she and her small entourage have approached the head table where Sansa sits with Jon and Bran to her either side, proof that House Stark was far from dead. "Welcome to Winterfell," Sansa speaks carefully, slowly, not a single soul in the room rising for this self proclaimed queen.

And at once, Sansa see's that she was right to think her arrogant, for those violet eyes dart around the room that she finds to be empty aside from the three that sit in front of her. Beside her a woman with eyes of such a striking shade of gold that Sansa is momentairly taken aback, but the surprise fades when she opens her mouth to speak. "You stand in the presence of Daenerys Stormborn of House Targaryen, the rightful heir to the Iron Throne, Queen of the Andals and the First Men... Protector of the Seven Kingdoms." There comes a long pause and for a moment, Sansa thinks her to be finished speaking.

She isn't.

"The Mother of Dragons, the Khaleesi of the Great Grass Sea, the Unburnt," the woman says this last title as if it's a warning. Sansa exchanges a quick glance with Jon, but her attention returns to the woman with golden eyes as she still yet continues to speak. "The breaker of chains." Another silence falls and it's only then that Sansa realizes the woman has finally finished rattling off the titles and names this so called queen has given to herself.

"Ah, so you are finished," Sansa says with a tilt of her head, though her rosy lips are smiling. Jon has never seen this look upon her face before but it is one she's worn countless times in countless places for countless people. "I am Sansa Stark, Queen in the North. I thank you for traveling so far. I hope the seas were not so rough."

"They were calm, my lady, thank you." Daenerys speaks for the first time, her tone and smile matching with the woman that sits before her. She dares, in the privacy of this room, speak as if she's not heard Sansa's introduction.

"Pardon, your grace, but I am not just a lady." Sansa interrupts before the Targaryen woman can continue. "I am a queen, much like yourself." Her smile is dangerous as she folds her hands over the top of the table. "Chosen by my people."

"Forgive me, I didn't receive a formal education like you must have but if I remember correctly there's not been a King in the North since Torrhen Stark bent the knee to my ancestor Aegon Targaryen..." Daenerys speaks again, blinking those violet eyes, her gaze never once wavering as she stares down at Sansa where she sits. "In exchange for the lives of the Northmen he swore an oath to my house in perpetuity." She goes on, her smile smug as she turns to a man standing just behind her, a man Sansa had not noticed until that very moment. "Tell me, what does perpetuity mean again, Lord Tyrion?"

"It means forever, your grace." Tyrion Lannister speaks, stepping up to stand beside the queen he's promised his loyalty to. Looking out at the table of Stark's, he's reminded quite of the old days when Ned and Catelyn Stark had once sat there.

"It means forever," Daenerys grins as she turns back to face Sansa. "So I assume, my lady, you've invited me here to bend the knee. You wrote of peace, of an alliance, yet calling yourself Queen in the North puts you into open rebellion against me. Against your rightful queen." Her gaze narrows, sharpening like steel, but unlike many before her, Sansa Stark does not bend, does not break. Rather, those icy blue eyes of hers darken, not an ounce of fear in their gaze as she squares her shoulders.

"I have no intention of bending the knee." Sansa replies, watching as Daenery's nostrils flare, her mouth opening and closing as if she's not quite certain what she's to say next. Sansa imagines this is a woman who rarely hears the word no, who rarely does not get as she wants. "It is true, I spoke of an alliance, but I never once spoke of bending to your rule."

"That is unfortunate," Daenerys quips, shooting the imp beside her a glare, as if this meeting not going her way is entirely his fault. "Unfortunate that you should invite me all this way only to break faith with House Targaryen."

At these words, Sansa can't stop the chuckle that escapes her. "My apologies, I only laugh for what faith in House Targaryen do I have?" She sobers, those blue eyes once again falling upon the woman before her. "Your father burned my grandfather alive, he burned my uncle alive. He'd have burned the entire Seven Kingdoms alive, had he not been stopped."

"My father was an evil man," Daenerys breaks in and for the first time since she walked into the hall, Sansa feels a bit of humanity from her. "On behalf of House Targaryen, I ask your forgiveness for my father's crimes against your family. And I ask that you not hold a daughter accountable for her father's sins." The violet gaze is softer now, somewhat sad, and Sansa swallows, recalling how Jon had once said those same words to her in regards to the families of the rebellious lords that now served her and House Stark once again. "The centuries of peace with a Targaryen on the Iron Throne and a Stark as Warden in the North were the best Westeros has ever seen... I am the last Targaryen-"

"You are not."

All eyes swivel then, turning to Bran who has spoken for the first time since the meeting began. "Jon is your nephew and therefore, the last remaining male heir of your House. He is the rightful heir to the Iron Throne." He speaks calmly, matter-of-factly, his expression never changing even as his eyes meet the mother of dragon's.

Daenerys regards him for several long moments before a sigh escapes her. "I have heard such a thing.... But how I am to know for certain that you are my brother's son?" She turns her gaze to Jon then, noting his lack of Targaryen looks, wondering just how any son of her family could escape the Targaryen genes. "It is as I bid Tyrion to write, if you are my kin, I do not wish to fight with you." Something tells Sansa that this is a lie, that this woman would topple any person, any kingdom, if it meant she got her way. Once again Daenerys is looking at her and she holds her head up high, knowing that in the end, no matter what it cost her, she would never bend. Not ever.

"Promise Northern independence and I will abandon my claim to the throne." Jon speaks and Daenerys turns her gaze from Sansa to him. "Swear that oath and I will not fight you for the remaining Six Kingdoms." His dark eyes hold fast to violet and the silence in the room is thick, heavy. "You needn't decide it now," he goes on, turning to Sansa who smiles fondly upon him when their gazes meet. "The queen has prepared rooms for your stay, after all." His purposeful use of queen strikes Daenerys and she shifts her gaze back to Sansa, who nods, her smile for her instead. It is a charming smile, even Dany must admit.

"I will think about your proposition most carefully," Daenerys finally speaks, though those around her look truly surprised by her response, as if even they expected her to turn on her heel and storm from the room. "I cannot promise what my answer will be."

"You are welcome to stay, until then," Sansa speaks, knowing that despite it all, she must earn this woman's trust. She must make her think that in the end, the North will be on her side in her fight for the throne. "I will have someone show you to your rooms," she gestures towards Brienne who stands in the corner of the room, who then ducks out to find Agatha who has been tireleslly working to ensure the rooms are well prepared for this queen and her group.

As Daenerys is led from the room, Sansa sinks back into her chair, suddenly drained of her energy. Beside her, Jon turns to face her, a hand falling into place against her thigh, his skin warm against hers despite the layers of clothes between them. "That went well," he says and she lifts her face to him, grinning in spite of herself. "You know what we must do next." He goes on and she nods; of course does. Jon smiles and he leans in, capturing her mouth with his for a quick kiss.

That alone gives her the strength to rise up, ready to meet whatever comes next.

[ x x x ]

"Do you believe him? Do you believe that he is my brother's son?"

Daenerys rounds on him the moment the door has closed, leaving them alone in her antechamber. Sansa Stark turns out to be a generous host, offering the warmest, best wing of Winterfell to Daenerys and her group. Tyrion finds himself housed in rooms far nicer than the ones he stayed in on his last visit to Winterfell. "Well, your grace..." Tyrion begins, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, uncertain as she is in the truth of Jon's birth. "If I may speak freely..."

His queen regards him for a moment before she nods, sinking into a chair nearest the hearth. "You may," she says, eager to hear what her Hand has to say in this situation. Tyrion Lannister was a smart man, though a heavy drinker, he's willing to make choices that others cannot. She trusts his judgment above all others, save for perhaps Missandei or Jorah.

"If you remember, I told you once that I was married to Sansa when she was but a girl." Daenerys nods, recalling the conversation from just a few months before, when the rumors of the wolves of Winterfell came to them in Dragonstone. "She is fiercely loyal to her family, to her House. To the North. She does not forget the wrongs done against her nor her family." Again, Daenerys nods, for does she not know the same feeling? "When she escaped King's Landing, she was forced to marry again, but I have heard the rumors of what she endured here in her own home at the hands of her husband, Ramsay Bolton." That too had been a subject of their conversation and back then, Daenerys had felt a spark of pity for the woman- yet another thing they shared was the abuse at hands of men who thought themselves above them. But now that she's met the young woman- she feels little else but contempt. It seemed as if Sansa Stark was going out of her way to defy her.

"And what does any of this have to do with Jon Snow being my nephew or not?"

Tyrion stands at the table beside where she sits and he pours two goblets of wine, passing the first one to Daenerys, who accepts and sips at the drink, surprised by the sweetness of it. "I only mean to give you some insight to who she is, your grace," Tyrion says when he's gulped down a mouthful of the wine himself. "A noble born girl, married twice against her will, one of those leading to truly terrible repercussions." He takes to the chair across from his queen, legs aching from the long hours they had spent both at sea and on land. "Do you think a woman raised in a world such as this one would so willingly marry a man- a man she thinks to be her brother, albeit bastard born?" Westeros did not view incest as the Targaryen's did and certainly a girl from House Stark would not lay nor marry a man she calls her brother. "It is true, those who could speak the truth of Jon's birth are no longer here to speak for themselves, we have but a High Septon's journal... But, your grace, if I know Sansa Stark like I think I do, she would never marry a man she calls brother. That itself is enough proof for me."

A silence descends and for a moment, Daenerys can only take another sip of her wine, thinking about all of the things Tyrion has just said to her. "I think you're right," she finally says a few minutes later, raising her gaze from the fire to him, violet eyes finding green. "So what of Jon Snow's promise to deny his place as the rightful heir, if only for Northern independence?"

"That is your choice to make, your grace," Tyrion begins, pausing only to take another sip of his wine. "But I have known Jon Snow to be a man of his word, unbelievably honorable, like the man who raised him."

Again there comes silence, but it is quicker to flee as Daenerys shifts in her chair to fully face him, the firelight casting her into a golden glow. "And would the North stand behind him, otherwise?" She asks, slowly, carefully, the only question that truly matters. Tyrion holds to her gaze a moment longer before he gives a single, solemn nod. The North would stand behind Jon and only Jon, especially now that they call Sansa their queen. The Seven Kingdoms would find peace in a world with an alliance such as theirs- a half Targaryen, half Stark prince and his already beloved Stark bride. Tyrion doesn't have the heart to tell his queen that even those in King's Landing would stand behind Jon Snow before they ever stood behind her. "Then I suppose I already know what I must do." She says softly, barely audible, a statement more to herself than to Tyrion.

A promise of peace... Of Northern independence... It would all be worth it, if only to get her to where she needed to be. And then when the Irone Throne was the chair she sat upon, she would give Sansa Stark and the North exactly what they deserved. If they were not for her, then they were against her.

And just like that, her mind is made up.

#jonsa #jon x sansa #actuallyjonsa #jonsa au #essos au #my writing #i wrote this

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