#but i imagine this is he's more comfortable with kil'

[skelekins]

//////w\\\\\\\ Fang and Kil' belong to @smokbeast Kelek is mine

[holylulusworld]

Rescue you - Flufftober 23

Summary: When your ex comes to town, Jax sees red.

Pairing: Jax Teller x fem!Reader

Characters: Clay Morrow, Wayne Unser, Harry "Opie" Winston, Juice Ortiz, Tig Trager

Warnings: angst, mentions of a past abusive relationship, protective Jax, angry Jax, light violence against the reader, implied character’s death, fluff, hurt & comfort, blood

A/N: I didn't name her ex. You can imagine any guy. I imagined Brock Rumlow because he's hot and a bad guy. 😳 I'm a visual writer and need to imagine a face.

Trope: Rescue romance

Idea by: @dawn-petrichor-world

Kinktober vs Flufftober 2023

The day you met Jax Teller changed your opinion about men.

Until then, you believed every man is like your ex. Angry, loud, and thoughtless.

Jax is different. He’s rough around the edges, strong, wild, and yes, dangerous. But with you, he’s gentle and kind. You never felt safer than in his arms.

In those fleeting moments, you can spend alone, he dreams of another life. A life without violence, and maybe, children running around the house.

Your boyfriend is not a man of many words. He shows you his feelings with soft touches and small gestures.

The tea he brews for you every morning before you must go to work. A soft kiss goodnight. Or the way he hugs you. All these small gestures tell you Jax Teller loves you.

You believe in him, and his love. Jax will never hurt you or leave you for some other girl. He promised to love and protect you for the rest of his life.

Today, you must believe in his love, and hang on. If only you can hang on and wait for Jax to find out what happened to you…

Four hours earlier, …

“Bye, have a great weekend,” you wave at your colleagues from the library. They return the gesture and wish you a great weekend too.

You yawn as you make your way toward your car. Only a few more minutes apart you from meeting up with your boyfriend.

“Look what I finally found.”

You freeze. That voice.

How you wished to never hear his voice again. You lived in a bubble for the better of two years. Your relationship with Jax is going steady, and your past is only a few burned pictures, and torn memories you refuse to talk about.

“No. You can’t be here,” you shake your head as you look at your ex. He smirks darkly at your reaction. Your hands tremble and your eyes sting with tears. “What a pity he didn’t pick you up today, huh? Every Friday night your fine boyfriend has something better today than bringing his girl home.”

“What do you want here? You can’t be here.” You take a step back, and another as your heart hammers in your chest. “Please just leave me alone.”

“I’m here to get my girl back,” he looks over your shoulder, checking if anyone is watching you. “I can’t just let you go, can I?”

“You had fling after fling,” you sneer when he tries to touch your cheek. Slapping his hand away you glare at him. “What do you really want?”

“I can’t have my girl run around with that bastard. Jax Teller, Y/N? Really?” He scoffs when you look around the area for help. “No one is coming for your aid, babe. We can do this the easy way, or the hard way.”

“Fuck you!” Your head snaps to the left when his hand slaps your cheek hard. You gasp, and press your hand to your cheek, fighting the tears wanting to break free. If you cry now, he’ll know how scared you are.

He grabs your arm, tugging harshly. “You will come with me and shut your mouth. After I’m done with the chapter of the sons in this shitshow of a town, you can thank me by being very nice to me…”

Now, the clubhouse, …

“Where is she? What can you tell me?” Jax nervously runs his fingers through his hair. “Juice, you need to do your thing…trace her phone or shit.”

“Jax, you need to calm the fuck down,” Clay tries to calm Jax. One of them got kidnapped, an old lady. He’s furious and ready to rip anyone apart. “We will find your old lady.”

“She left the library four hours ago, Clay! Four fucking hours!” Jax kicks a chair out of his way. “If anyone touched one hair on her head, I’ll kill them…I’ll kill them all.”

“We talked to her colleagues and the owner of the shop across the street. Her colleagues didn’t see shit. Y/N left the library wished them a nice weekend and walked toward her car,” Tig grunts.

“Yeah, they didn’t even want to talk to us because you scared the shit out of them,” Opie bites back. “Anyways,” he clears his throat as he looks at Jax. Opie can see the fear in his friend’s eyes, and it breaks his heart a little. “The old geezer across the street said, that there was a guy and a girl. The guy hit the girl, and that was when he called the cops.”

“We checked the cameras from the stores nearby,” Unser tries to get Jax’s attention. “One of them captured the car of the bastard. We got a license plate and a name.”

“We’ve got a name?” Jax grabs Unser by his collar. “What are we waiting for then? You had a name for how long?”

“Twenty minutes, Jax,” the sheriff grunts. “I’m not an idiot, and I like the girl.”

“Who is he? Who dared to raise his hand against my girl?” Jax is out of it. He’s ready to rip the sheriff apart, limp by limp if he doesn’t get answers soon. “Tell me his name, UNSER!”

Unser yells your ex’s name, making Jax gasp. You told him about what happened with the man you dated before him. “We need to find them!”

“Jax, calm down! We are on it! Juice is on it,” Clay tries to calm your boyfriend down again.

“I try to hack her service provider to find out about her last location. Give me more time,” Juice tries his best to remain calm. He’s used to working under pressure. But these are exceptional circumstances. “Just one more minute…“

You try not to think about what will happen if Jax doesn’t find you. Your ex was taunting you over the last hours, telling you how much he will enjoy watching Jax despair when he finds your broken body.

Taking deep breaths, you try to remember all the times Jax told you how much he loves you, or how he asked you to go for a ride with him for the first time.

The silence is deafening, and worse than your ex yelling at you. It takes a toll on you, as it feels like seconds turn into hours.

You hide your face in the palms of your hands, silently crying as you fear that you’ll never see Jax again.

“Where is she?” someone yells loud enough for you to hear. “I’ll kill you!” Gunshots hit the wall, and you scream as one of the bullets breaks through the door and hits the wall next to you.

“Y/N! BABY! Where are you!” It’s Jax. Jax found you!

“HERE!” You scream his name. “I’M HERE!”

“BABY!”

The door flings open, revealing a beyond-worried Jax. His face is covered in bruises, and blood covers to his knuckles, but all you can think about is that he's here.

He tugs his gun away as you run toward him to throw yourself into his arms. “I knew you’ll find me…I just knew…” He breathes you in. "I knew it..."

“Did he hurt you? Did he touch you, baby?”

“No…I mean he hit me but…no…I…you’re here,” you cry into his chest. “You’re…here…”

"I told you," he kisses the crown of your hair, "I'll burn the world for you and kill anyone hurting my girl..."

Tags in reblog.

[saschax]

phantasm

(n.) a figment of the imagination; an illusion or apparition:

TRIGGER WARNINGS: panic attack (protagonist's panic attack is described in details), nightmares, child abuse (recalls past), medication (for mental health purposes) and thats all, i think.

she felt comfortable. everything was.

comfort.

the blinds blocked the light, whether it'd be the sun or the moon. its was fine, except.. it wasn't.

she couldn't make out the shape of her hands as they lands on her chest, feeling her pulse quickening by the seconds.

everything is fine.

its fine.

why is she panicking?

why am i panicking?

nothing happened.

why-

images flashes in her mind. it isn't the good kind, not ones filled with butterflies. opposite infact.

then, she realises the cause behind her panicked state.

nightmares, she echos mentally, in her head. a child's nightmare, as embarassing as it sounds.

not being able to scream, to cry for help- no one's there to help. no helping hands, no.. nothing... no daddy or mommy coming for her-

he was just- just looking at you, with- with a wide smile plastered on his-

suddenly, its too overwhelming for her. a shaking wreck she is right now.

she's no strangers to nightmares, she's well acquainted by now. this nightmare, however, was different. it was bolder, it wasn't something related to her past.

no. it wasn't her mother.. her very own mother who beated on her for simple little things.

no. it was a new person entirely. the being - person - on the other end of the knife was the one with the tired, dark brown eyes she comes to love.

but ghost would never harm you. never-

she suddenly sees movement (even though it is hard to see, years of training did made her eyes see a bit better) in the dark, snapping her attention to the thing.

answer: he's watching her.

there she sat, trembling like a leaf. and there he stood, still as a rock, watching her.

seconds, minutes, hell, maybe centuries passed as the two remains where they were. it was too quiet suddenly, apart from her panicked rapid breaths. she's currently trying to convince herself it was all a nightmare.

she'll wake up after this, just a bad dream inside another bad dream-

it wasn't.

it took a moment hesitantace from ghost to move towards her. slow steps towards the bed, to her, and he stops at the end of it.

even though she isn't looking at him, she could feel his gaze on her and she hated it. it made her feel incredibly small, utterly hopeless. and her nightmare comes back to her in flashbacks.

the way ghost stood over her- with his mask (not the skull mask) on his face, a knife clutched in his hands- the way it was going down on her chest- the way she could feel the smile behind his mask- about to kil-

the bed sinks a bit and made her jolts. ghost had took a pause to sit down next to her, albet, at a safe considerable distance.

he stares at her first, what was wrong, what he couldn't fix.

she sees a hand approaching her shoulder and she flinches, immediately turning to him, jerking herself away at the same time.

what the hell?

ghost retracts his hand away like he'd been burnt. without a second glance, ghost abrupty stood to his feet, storms out the door and went to somewhere.

she couldn't hear his footsteps.

He's as fast as he is quiet, she didn't see or hear him before he's there, standing in front of her with the bottle of pills in his hand.

she sees the white title of the pills, clonidine. unfortuantely, she doesn't take pills. she tried before, and nearly choked on one. it was extremely terrifying experience for her, plus, she tried as a child. pills never worked. she needs more than a simple bottle of pills.

"ghost." the name slips from her lips with a sob, the lump in her throat threatening to explode any moments. "please."

she wanted comfort, like how her father did it for her.

she saw the way his hand clenched around the pill bottle, and she feared her words had triggered something in him. something bad. something like what happened in her dream.

a knife going down on her chest.

a hand came to her head and seeing she didn't flinch this time, did he sits closer. almost shoulder touching. she takes a deep breath - inhaling, exhaling - and her shoulders shakes. she is too frustrated with her mind to feel embarrassment, but she knew it would hit her sooner or later. she had never broken down like this, not in front of him.. or anyone else..

she always been a strong woman, physically and emotionally..

against her better judgement, she finds herself leaning against him. hiding her face in the crook of his clothed neck. she feels him tenses, and for a moment she thinks he'll push her way. but he didn't.

one hand comes to rest on her back, awkwardly running circles. He said nothing, hell, she couldn't even feel if he was breathing. his chin came to rest on top of her head and remained there. it was the most ghost had ever done for her.

morning came.

and he's gone. a smile on her face, lasting only for a fleeting second.

she slept dreamlessly, and for once, it felt like her head was above the waters, not drowning. it feels like he was holding her, like some sort of a pillar. in a way, he was.

( she would've think it was a dream, if it wasn't for the fact a bottle of pill was lying on her bed. he forgot about it.

she never mentioned it, infact, she faked confusion why it was there- despite knowing it very well why, to save ghost's the embarassment.

she appreciated him for doing this. and why he was there, she'll never know.

but it makes her feel a little less alone. a little more understood. and that is something she has not felt in a very long time..

this makes her wonder..

did he have nightmares too? she finds it odd he had nightmare pills out of nowhere. )

A.N i had a nightmare and my girlfriend sort of did this towards me, so inspired by her. decided to make it reality, ha ha. short, but im tired.

perfect excuse.

[lovextriangle]

Imagine Kili after the Battle of the Five Armies

The battle was over. Yet, that didn’t mean much to Kili now, not when the price for such victory was too costly. He knew this was what everyone had hoped for, to beat the dragon, to reclaim their home no matter who stood in there way. Be it man, elf, or orc. At some point in time all had tried to stop them, events led to sides switching and the good prevailed against evil once more in Middle Earth. But losing them was never part of the plan.

The tears swelled up in his eyes as he thought back to his uncle, lying back on the frozen lake. He didn’t want to think about how the color of the ice had looked like Thorin’s eyes, so glazed over, no longer there. But the tears started to fall when he thought of his brother. Fili, his dearest brother, who had been ambushed by Azog. It was antagonizing to remember how the blade had been shoved through his twin’s chest. Kili clenched his fingers into his palms, Fili’s lifeless body being thrown to the bottom of the icy ridge.

Thorin had been the one to get revenge from Azog, which left Kili to the rest of the bottom-feeders. Pure rage was what had pushed him through, after it was all said and done he collapsed and was almost thought dead himself. Covered in blood of his and others. Death was too sweet of an escape from the reality Kili had to face now. A world where his family was ripped apart and thrown away and he had to fill in the place that was meant for others.

You knew of all these troubles that Kili was facing, that Kili was thinking of daily. Even three years after the Battle of the Five Armies, the funerals, and his enunciation as King Under the Mountain. That mountain being Erebor of course, the mountain that the company, and especially his Uncle had worked so hard to gain back. You had a feeling Kili still didn’t feel like it was his place or his right, he was a very young king for dwarf standards. His beard still peach fuzz and lack of growing.

It had been your duty ever since Kili was declared king to be his auditor. Almost like an advisor but for more personal, non-kingdom related issues. You were a great listener from an early age. All else that was needed was a soft tone, and kind eyes. Both of which you seemed blessed with. Today’s talk had been sudden as it was right after a council meeting with some of Kili’s old company members. Most had joined in high ranks, rightfully earned by their contribution to their journey and loyalty.

You sat across from the king, legs crossed underneath your dress. You sat upright and waiting for him to begin, but you had a feeling this session would be an intense one. So instead of keeping silent, you said, “Usually we stick to the planned schedule your Highness,” the upcoming meeting had been just two days later. “but you called for me sooner, may I ask why?” You had an idea as to why, but the process would only be helpful to Kili if he himself understood why he choose to seek you sooner.

“I couldn’t wait til then.” His words were clipped and on the other side of short table sat Kili. His hands holding the armrest on either side. He looked strained, nearly holding himself together. “What happened today?” Your tone was soft and soothing, trying to calm his nerves. What usually worked only had Kili flinching back, cringing at the thought of what put his mind into such unrest. “I thought I could get through the meeting..” his dark brown eyes were glued to the wall behind you. “but knowing them, things wouldn’t be over unless they were mentioned.”

Balin had called the meeting to a close, the diplomatic talk subsided into more friendly converse. Kili was happy to just sit and listen in on his old friends conversations, thinking more about what meal he would have. That is until he heard, “ah I still remember as if it were yesterday. Thorin herding us together, wee lads Kili and Fili…”

It only took their names for Kili to go into a shock of memories. What would have been happiness was replaced by loneliness and misery, a pain so heart-wrenching took over his lungs, as if he had been punched several times in the gut. He staggered to his feet, wanting to hear no more. “Kil- your Majesty?” Oin was just as startled from the abrupt motion from his left. “Are you alri-“

“Leave me be.” Kili bellowed and he shut his eyes tight, not wanting to see any of their pained faces. Knowing all of them would see him as weak, what they could get over was something he couldn’t bare to think about. Kili turned for the door, exiting the room and immediately his guards were by his side. “Tell y/n to meet me immediately.” No mention of the place was needed, his close guards knew where the both of you met regularly.

None of this needed to be stated for you to understand what Kili had meant by them or they. This hadn’t been the first time nor would it be the last, some things never healed. But you had hope for the healing, because no matter the severity time could mend the broken.

“I see their faces, cold and undead more often when their names are spoken aloud.” Thorin and Fili would have such a disdainful gaze, both staring from the ground which they were sprawled upon. Staring Kili down, eyes that said, “You didn’t save us” or “You should’ve joined us” it made chills run through the brown haired dwarf. He rubbed his thumbs against his temple, trying to ease the headache and make the images go away.

At times like these, words were hard to say. What could you say to someone who couldn’t stand to here the name of their own beloved uncle or twin because of such a tragedy. They were brutally killed by evil creatures who tortured for fun. They were killed for wanting their homeland back. They had been killed and it wasn’t Kili’s fault. But he felt the blame, and part of him didn’t want to exist in a world without his close kin.

The silence was thick and though it was your job to listen, you knew in this moment something needed to be said. “My king, no one but yourself blames you for the tragedy,” you continued on trying your best to maintain eye contact, “They risked their lives just like you did yours, and dare I say, they would be upmost proud to see how far you have come and how far you have carried your people.” Kili’s eyes met yours finally moving away from the wall. He felt heavy, in his chest, and his vision started to blur. He grieved his loss, the tears streaming down his face. He missed his brother so much, missed the guidance that Thorin gave. He longed so much to turn back time, to stick by his brothers side, to do so much differently.

You couldn’t stop yourself from getting up from your chair, crossing the couple of feet between the two of you, and kneeling down in front of your king. With a few more thoughts running through your head, if it was proper or the right thing to do, you pushed all things to the side you decided to stand and embrace him. Your arms easily wrapping around him in a comforting hug, to which he immediately leaned in, wanting the comfort you offered. This only made you want to do more, to ease his pain somehow, as your hands went up from his back to his neck, going into his hair. Combing through it with your fingers, one hand going back down to rub his back.

You both stayed like that for awhile. Kili’s tears had stopped after some time but still no one moved. In fact Kili moved closer, his face burying into your chest not wanting to leave. This was unprofessional but at the same time, you didn’t mind one bit. If this helped Kili in any way, especially with overcoming his strifes, then you would give him all the comfort and hugs he needed. Because even though he was going through such grief, he was a true King, and the best dwarf for the job in your opinion.

He deserved all the happiness in the world.

[amazing-spiderling]

for the fic reader game: 👶🏻❤️‍🔥🥰🍭💔

👶🏻 First fic you remember reading?

It's hard for me to pinpoint exactly the first, mostly because it's been //checks watch// well over twenty years. Also there's a little fuzziness on the order of events, but I can get in the ballpark. The summer before my freshman year of high school I went to a sci-fi convention with a friend. I didn't have a ton of spending money, but I bought a spiral bound zine, which turned out to be a bound copy of someone's Quantum Leap fanfiction. Thing is, I know I didn't read it immediately, so I may not have read it until much later at which point I know I had read a lot of Sailor Moon fic. The first one of those I remember reading was basically the events of the "Doom Tree Saga" (the part of Sailor Moon R made specifically for the anime) except told from Darien/Mamoru's perspective. It was pretty laden with "misunderstandings" and mutual pining (with a dose of amnesia and all those other tropes that are so common to Sailor Moon) and I think maybe they got to kiss like once in the whole story. I printed it out (with some others) and kept it in a binder for future reading.

❤️‍🔥 Your favorite fic with a ship you have?

Can anyone truly have ONE favorite fic? is it not enough to have a library of favorites that you browse and settle into depending on your mood and whims?

Maybe, but I think if I HAVE to pick a favorite it's a Spideypool story called, "you grow old and you lose touch" in which Peter Parker adopts a young Miles after the boy gets stranded in his dimension. What follows is a great found family fic that has Peter growing up just as much as Miles is, while also strengthening his friendship (and eventually romantic relationship) with Wade. It is SO sweet and feels in character while simultaneously being better than anything Marvel could dare to put out, and I can't recommend it enough.

🥰 Your comfort fics that you can re-read several times and still love them?

For MGS (Snake/Otacon) the fic I came back to over and over again was "Sleep Cycle" which is a story about Hal having long bouts of insomnia and Snake helping him sleep by sharing a bed and letting him listen to his heartbeat. It's a 6 chapter medium burn (they're mostly just saving-the-world associates when it begins more than friends, even) but it was a story I could lose myself in when I was having trouble sleeping and it always helped me nod off. I think this can only be found by digging through the Wayback Machine archives, which has taught me the importance of saving backups of favorites.

Matt/Foggy has become a fantastic comfort ship for me so it's hard for me to pick just one, but "Weatherproofing" is another cozy one for similar reasons, with the added benefit of a cold and rainy setting. It's just easy to imagine that feeling of coming into a warm place after being chilled to the bone and slowly feeling the pain and cold seep out of your body.

For Spideypool, it's maybe not quite the same kind of comfort, but "We Give and We Give" is the story I read when I feel utterly wrung out by life and want to feel like someone cares that I'm trying my best and is willing to cut me a little slack so I can recover. If there's a character trait I superimpose on my faves it's "trying too hard and burning out" and this one gives me that "it's okay to chill out" vibe I need sometimes.

🍭 Favorite fic trope?

Same as when writing, mutual pining with that hurt/comfort vibe. The hurt can be part of the pining. >:)

💔 The angstiest fic you ever read?

HANDS DOWN it's "Repeat to Fade" which is another Snake/Otacon story. This one has so much going for it. Aside from being beautifully written in a dreamy way that carries you along the surreal chain of events, it is an utterly tragic story that combines a doomed romance with the trappings of an AI story. The short version is that Snake wakes up in a world he knows is simulated (and takes a lot of notes from the dueling scenery of Utena) and is forced to kill Otacon (again, in the real world mostly just a partner in world-saving-crime) over and over again. It becomes more and more difficult to do so, both as the AI learns how to fight and as he grows this wary appreciation for the virtual personality. I made the mistake of reading this one in a coffee shop and ended up crying over pastries. But at least I had pastries there, so it wasn't all bad.

[szchaql]

Total Opposite (part 8)

Paul Lahote x Swan reader

Masterlist

Hi!! I'm back with Chapter 8! Sorry took so long hehehe hope you enjoy❤

(Y/n) could never imagine that her boyfriend and friends try to kill Bella. They, out of people, the one who know about her close relationship with Bella, try to kill her sister.

She's been thinking to call Bella. But she's scared of what will happened next. So she decided to just call Seth and ask him about Bella.

"Well... she's not good.. but she'll be fine.. the Cullen always be there for her." He said over the phone. (Y/n) sigh. "What happened, (y/n)? I heard from Leah that something happened with you and Paul."

"Uhh.. it's actually the same problem like Jake.. you know.. regarding my sister..."

"Ohhhh.. i'm sorry.."

"Why say sorry? You didn't do anything wrong.. me and Paul just didn't agree on a same thing... it's okay.." (y/n) say softly to her best friend on the phone.

Seth sigh heavily. "He didn't hurt you right? He didn't phase in front of you right?" He frantically ask as (y/n) chuckle.

"No. He just shaking. There're the others to prevent it. It's okay, you don't have to worry. By the way, I hope i can see Bella. But i don't feel safe and comfortable around them.. the cullen." (Y/n) confess how much she miss her older sister. It's been a month, she think, that she hasn't meet Bella.

"Don't force yourself.. and there are me, Jake ans Leah to protect you. And besides, they won't hurt you. They are vegetarian, remember.." Seth always knows a way to comfort the young Swan and (y/n) glad that they are best friend.

"Well.. maybe after all of this is over. Me and Paul have to reconcile too. Seeing Bella with my condition, doesn't sound great at all."

Then she heard the voice of Jake calling Seth name from a far.

"Yeah, that's right. Well, i have patrol. Will talk to you again. Okay?"

"Yeah, text me okay? And tell Jake and Leah that i say hi." Seth hum and hang up.

(Y/n) feels a lot better after a talk with Seth. But the knot on her heart still there. She still feel hurt after the fight with Paul and the pack. She want to talk to him and reconcile. But she's scared. And she don't want to give up just like that. She want to teach Paul a lesson. He hurt her, he has to try to accept her decision. He know very well about her and Bella and how close them two.

She lay down on her bed, staring at the ceiling, deep in thought when her dad open the door.

"I'll go to the town. Want to come? You haven't go out since your fight with Paul." He said with a tone full of worry.

"No, thanks Dad.. maybe later." (Y/n) give him a small smile. Charlie nod his head, knowing that his daughter still need some time to collect her mind and heart.

"Call me if you need someting, okay? I will be home before 6." Then he close the door and go out.

As much as she love to be home alone, with the situation of supernatural things make her feel uneasy. She can's ask Seth or Leah. Heck, she can't even ask Emily. In this situation, she hate how her house is close to the forest. She decided to sit up and look out to the window, hoping that one of the boys have patrol around her house.

When she look out, she caught a glimpse of the wolf. But she can't tell which one since it's so dark. Part of her hope that it's Paul, but part of her hope it's someone else. But when the wolf walk closer to her house, she knows that it's Paul. His silver fur shine from the moonlight, making it more beautiful. His deep brown eyes meet her one, making her shiver.

Paul lay down closer to the house, watching her in full alert. Seeing how her boyfriend is watching her, make (y/n) feel safer. But the memories of how he and the pack want to kill her sister make her hurriedly close the curtain. She still can't look at him.

She decided to just doing her homework before she go to sleep.

~~

Paul keeps watching the house for days non stop. Sometimes Embry watch the house at afternoon. But Paul always keeps watch at night until dawn.

Today is the day where (y/n) finally can enjoy her day. She is sitting on the sofa, eating snacks while watching a movie. Charlie is at work, as always.

In the middle of her movie, the sound of someone in the front door make (y/n) turn her head in alert. She stand up and walk toward the window to look outside. There are Embry and Quil, standing in front of the door. She sigh, knowing very well what they want. So she walk back to sit on the sofa and enjoy the movie, doesn't care about the 2 wolves outside the house.

They knock, but (y/n) doesn't even give them a mind. She keeps continue watch the movie, until Embry speak up.

"Hey. We know you are in there. Please let us in! There's something we want to talk about!"

(Y/n) keeps silent.

"Come on, (y/n)! Please!" This time it's Quil who yell.

(Y/n) groan before she yell back. "What! I don't care anymore! Now leave!" Her mood crush down. She didn't want to watch the great movie she watched anymore. She just want to be alone.

"Please! This is about Paul! He need you!" Embry yelled while banging the door mercisely. But (y/n) being a stubborn woman doesn't even give them a mind. She walk up to her own room, locking the window and closing the curtain.

But even then, the boys has another idea. They barged into the house, breaking the door. Hearing the sound of door being broken make (y/n) readi to smack them with a bat on her hand.

"OW!!" Embry yelled in pain as (y/n) smack his head with a bat, strongly. Quil couldn't believe his eyes as he retreat slowly.

"Get out! Now! Before i call my Dad for breaking the house!" She yelled angrily, ready to smack him again.

Embry hold his hands up, trying to calm the girl. "Please, (y/n). Just this one. He really need you." He said in desperate.

(Y/n) snort. "Need me? Need me?! After what he had done?! Unbelievable! Do you think i will easily get back to him?! Or to all of you?! You try to kill Bella!" She didn't know why she cried. Tears just pours out from her eyes.

"He regret it deeply, (y/n).. he's been sick since you left. And he won't eat anything. We are worried about him..." Quil speak slowly, trying not to get into her nerves.

"Still no. Now get out. I won't be back to him until you all, the pack decided not to kill Bella. That's it. If you still manage to try to kill her, it's over. It'll be done with all of you, including Paul." (Y/n) shoved the boys out of her room, even her house, with a bat still in her hand. Of course Embry and Quil still not give up to persuade her to meet Paul and reconcile. But it's no use as (y/n) bang the door in front of their face and lock it.

Regret? So now he regret it? He didn't even think about the consequence when he try to kil Bella.

Feeling tired of the situation, she decided to call her mom and spend some times with her, until everything is over.

"What happened?" Rene ask with worried tone over the phone.

"Will tell you later... I.. I just want to be back with you and spend time with you, mom... i really need this.. please?" (Y/n) voice is shaking, ready to cry in no time. She's so tired. She just want to live a normal life for a while.

Rene sigh, knowing very well about her youngest daughter. "Okay. Tell Charlie okay? I'll be waiting for you at home. Be carefull, dear one."

After speaking to her mom, (y/n) call her Dad about it. He agreed immediately. "Go. Rene will help you. Okay?"

(Y/n) hurriedly purchase the earliest plane and get her things. She just pack her clothes and bring some book. She also call Seth about it. "Do you need me to take you to the airport?" He ask as he help me pack my things.

"No.. it's okay, Seth. Dad will take me. Sorry for bothering over this. I just... i just want to live a normal life for a while.. this is too much for me.. i don't feel safe.." (y/n) said as she take out some of her clothes and put it in her suitcase. Seth helping her with the books.

"I'll inform Bella about this. Do you want to tell Paul and the pack?"

"No. Don't. Just tell Jake and Leah. And of course Bella. And i don't know if i'll be back after all this over...." Seth frown.

"You will be leaving for good? What about Paul?? Didn't it hurt you two?" (Y/n) sit down on her bed, Seth following to sit beside his best friend.

"It hurt of course. But what he did really hurt me. I know it's excessive. But.. Bella... she means so much for me. I can't let her die... it's okay even if she get turn into vampire. But at least she's alive and i can see her. And the most painful thing is that they didn't even hesitate to kill her..." (y/n) sigh heavily.

Seth nod, looking at her. "If you miss me so much, call me. I'll go to see you. Okay?" (Y/n) smile listening to it. Seth is always a cheerfull guy. He always try to make me feel better despite the circumtance.

"Thankyou.. for always being there for me..."

~~

"Do you need anything?" Charlie ask (y/n) as they arrive at the airport.

"No. I'm fine.. thankyou, Dad..."

Charlie smile softly and hug her. "It's okay, dear.. as long as you are happy. Tell your mom i said hi. Get a full rest and enjoy it as long as you need. It's okay if you con't come back, I still can come see you."

After the hug, (y/n) get ready to go boarding. They hug for the last time and she receiving a goodbye kiss from Charlie before she leave. Sitting on the plane, she sigh. She knows sooner or later the boys will know. And of course Paul will do everything in his power to reach her and get her. She decided not to think further of it and just enjoy her quality normal life with her mom.

On the other side, Sam's pack has been restless. Bella's due date is almost there. Sam can't even rest his mind for a single bit. He think about Paul and (y/n) condition, and the Bella thing. He knows that when they decided to keep trying to kill her, (y/n) will never back and even forgive them. This will be bad for Paul. But he just can't let that baby do something horrible affer they are born. They almost kill Bella on the way.

The night comes.

Bella is in labor. Paul is watching the Cullen, despite his protest. As soon as Jake is running out of the house, crying, he know that Bella is dead. So he retreat and head back to inform Sam.

Billy try to stop Sam from doing what he want to do. Aa soon as they know that Bella didn'f make it, Sam immediately decided to fight the Cullen to kill the baby. It's getting out of hands.

Sam's packs are fighting the Cullen and Seth and Leah, when Jacob running in between them to stop. He even shift to talk with Sam.

Suprisingly, Jacob imprinted on Bella's daughter, Renesmee. Sam can't do anything about it. He can't kill her. That's against the law. So he and his pack retreat. But before they get to fully leave, Jacob inform that they didn't regret what they did. Because (y/n) surely won't come back.

"What do you mean?" Paul asked as he heard Sam's thought.

"She's back to Phoenix, living with her mom. Once she heard that you still tried to kill Bella, she won't forgive all of you and she won't come back. That's what she told us before she left. You knew about the consequence, Sam. But you still did it. You knew that the baby wasn't a harm to anyone, but you still tried to killed it. And now, see what have you done. To Paul, to (y/n), to us. I don't mind about us, but think about how hurt (y/n) will be when she knows. Just prepared yourselves then." Jacob said to Sam in warning tone, before he with Leah and Seth leave them.

Sam couldn't believe his ears. (Y/n) leave?

"What?!" Paul yelled in shock after he heard that his imprint leave. "Sam! Tell me!"

"Let's get back first and change." He and rest of his pack retreat. Paul forcefully follow him.

Once they back to Emily's and shift, Paul immediately ask Sam. "What do you mean that (y/n) leave?!"

"Jacob told me that (y/n) leave to meet is mom in Phoenix. She leave a week ago. Seth said that she want to have short normal life with her mom, that she's tired of all of this. She didn't feel safe at all. And there's a chance that she won't be back here anymore. And knowing that we tried to killed Bella... make things worse between us and (y/n)..." Paul couldn't believe at what Sam had said.

She leave just like that? She didn't feel safe? Why? Why did she just give up like that?

"I.. i have to see her! I have to ask her! I.. she can't leave!" Paul yelled angryly and feel hurt, then he leave. He have to see her no matter what. He feel so guilty for hurting her to this extent. He didn't imagine that (y/n) dare to leave him.

Jared and Embry go with Paul, for mental support. "Make sure he or she didn't do anything stupid. Make sure you two help them.." Sam said as they all in the airport, waiting.

"Of course. Don't worry Sam. We will do our best." Jared said.

When they heard that they need to get ready to board the plane, Paul without second thought leave first. Jared and Embry follow him after. Sam just hope that Paul and (y/n) can reconcile faster and make the best decision. He hope that (y/n) will back to Paul.

Taglist : @calling-dips-on-j-hope @tbhprobablydontcare @ivettt

[tastyykpop]

𝐶𝑟𝑎𝑧𝑦 𝑖𝑛 𝐿𝑜𝑣𝑒-Part 1

Pairings: yandere mafia leader!baekhyun x reader

Genre: suggestive, smut in later chapters, angst probs, fluff here and there but its very lowkey

《teaser next》

Warnings: kidnapping, drug use, alcohol consumption, baeks kinda crazy, pet names, master kink, spanking (he literally spanks her once), choking (not in a kinky way), mentions of blood and murder

Word count: 4.9k

Tag list: @wooya1224 @geniusloey tell me if you want to be tagged!!

⚠️ this is purely fictional and not how I imagine baekhyun to actually act. If you feel like you're in a situation like this please run and report it. I do not support this behavior.

How long has it been? 3 or 5 days? Maybe even a week. You didnt know nor did you care. But why would you? You've gave up caring ever since your boyfriend, Sungho was murdered right in front of you, but you couldn't even see who the murderer was which drove you insane.

Tears and blood stained your pretty skin that night, so much agony and rage ran through your veins. All you wanted to do was curl up into a ball and scream until you passed out. But its been days since you've gotten a proper good night's sleep and it was eating you away ever so slowly. Everytime you closed your eyes, you remembered that dreadful day, Sungho's screams, the terror on his beautiful face, his lifeless bloody body. What did he do to deserve death? Why did it have to be him?

"Y/n! Y/n, its been four days please come out of your room!" It was the familiar voice of your mother and her knocking that brought you back to reality. She was almost begging, she hasn't seen you since you locked yourself away that night so you couldnt blame her for being worried, but you were fine. "I'm coming in."

She pushed your door open to see you cuddling your blanket with no emotion on your face. You looked at her with barely any care and rolled over, facing away from her.

She sighed and sat on the edge of the bed, "You know y/n, we'll get to the bottom of this and have them put behind bars. It's gonna be ok-"

"No its not," you rasped from not using your voice in so long, "I dont even know what the murderer looked like, how can we put them behind bars!?" There was a small pause, she knew finding them wasnt likely which hurt you like hell, but she was still trying her best to comfort you.

"...At least come out of your room, everyone's worried." Your mother pleaded and though you really didnt want to move, you didnt want to upset or worry anyone any further so you got up.

With a smile, she did the same and led you downstairs to where you dad and sister were. They tensed when they saw you, but nonetheless smiled sadly, thanking the heavens you were okay.

"You look horrible..." your sister, Haeun, commented making you cringe. It wasnt like she was wrong, you spent four days not taking a shower and sitting in the same clothes so of course you looked bad, who wouldn't.

You excused yourself and went into the kitchen grabbing the first thing you saw, a bottle of vodka. Now it wasnt the best drink you could've had, but you decided to drink away your pain and suffering since you couldnt take the heart ache any longer.

"Shes doing it again." Your mother whispered but you heard her clear as day. "Shouldnt we stop her?"

"What for? She won't listen and she's traumatized. There's nothing much we could do right now." Your dad spoke with sadness watching as you took a quick swig from the substance.

Normally, you're not one to drink vodka but now it felt good, maybe too good. The more you drank it, the less pain you were in. It could last forever, you thought, but nothing lasts forever.

As you poured yourself another drink, you started wondering about Sungho again. If there were an afterlife, was he happy there? Would he be watching over you, making sure you were happy and healthy?If only it were that simple.

Though you and him were starting to drift off a bit, you still cared and loved him and now you're starting to take everything you guys went through for granted. Its what you get.

Standing up, you left the kitchen a bit dizzy from only drinking alcohol and having nothing else in your system and went back upstairs to take a shower. You decided after drinking, you wanted to go to the club you always go to. Normally, you didnt go on a Thursday, but you thought since you haven't been out in a while that it would be good to leave and breathe in the fresh air.

You took a fairly quick shower and your hair and makeup didnt take long either. Finally stopping to look at yourself in the mirror, your saw how pale and tired you were. Almost lifeless. You figured that once you finally have a good time, it would all go away and you'd be happy again.

"Where are you going?" You jumped at the voice of Haeun who appeared out of nowhere.

"To the club." You stated nonchalantly,

Haeun frowned, "Thats not a good idea, all you'll do is drink until you pass out. And there's always weirdos waiting for their turn with someone vulnerable like that."

A smile formed on your face trying to lighten up the mood a bit, "Ill be fine. I promise nothing bad will happen."

Haeun sighed, almost sounding like a bratty child who didn't get their way because she knew she wouldn't change your mind no matter how hard she tried. It sucked to have a stubborn sibling like yourself.

Sehun rolled his eyes at the sight of Baekhyuns scheduled flirting session. The girl was dressed in barely anything and he could tell she was probably Baekhyuns new toy for the night as he started getting handsy with her. But Sehun could see how Baekhyuns eyes weren't always looking at her. Instead, they sometimes searched passed the girl in hopes to find something else. He knew what, actually who he was searching for so he never asked or mentioned it.

He remembered you perfectly. Your calm and sleeping figure laying peacefully on your boyfriends chest. It was a shame he had to wake you up while he killed the man. And it was a shame to see such a pretty girl cry and scream with such fright in her eyes.

But Sehun didn't feel that bad, he did what he was supposed to do with only a little remorse.

"Sehun," Baekhyun called, the younger lifted his head waiting for him to continue, "Are you sure you didn't hurt my little toy the other day?"

Sehun scoffed, "If I did, I'd be dead by now, hyung."

The man chuckled sadistically , "She hasn't been here in a while," Baekhyun looked up from the girl and turned to Sehun, "Its only safe to ask."

"Hyung, I told you before that shes probably scared." Sehun face palmed when Baekhyun glared at him.

"A little red shouldnt effect someone that bad."

"I kil-" Sehun stopped what he was about to say, forgetting about the girl straddling Baekhyuns lap and cleared his throat, "Shes not used to stuff like that, Baek."

He didn't care about what Sehun said and ignored the youngests pointless blabbering, returning his attention back the girl only for a short amount of time until something caught his attention.

You walked in his club with confidence and beauty not giving any staring man the time of day and took your usual seat at the bar. After ordering your drink, you put your head in your arms and Baekhyun grinned.

Now was his chance, there's no way anyone will get in his way and there was no way he'd let this chance go.

"Stay here." Baekhyun said to Sehun, pushing the girl off him as he stood up. She almost pulled him back but he gave her such a terrifying death glare that made her stop.

"Theres no way youre actually gonna go talk to her...right?" Sehun questioned a bit shocked that Baekhyun was actually going to you after so long.

"Of course I am, I'll be back." With that, Baekhyun walked away from the two with only one thing on his mind: you.

He waltzed with a smirk of pure evil. What would he do? Only God knew, but he couldnt help himself when he saw your pretty face.

All eyes watched Baekhyun stop next to you, astonished that he went to talk to a girl and not the other way around, "Excuse me sweetheart," You popped your head up in the direction Baekhyun spoke, he took a seat next to you with an almost comforting smile when he saw your red cheeks, "But are you okay."

You wanted to spill everything that happened so bad because you needed to get it out, but you didnt know the man and neither did he know you so all you could do was nod, "Im fine."

Baekhyun knew behind your lying eyes was someone in pain and searching for a person to hold, but he couldnt do anything just yet and tried loosening you up to him so he could do what he wanted to do in the first place.

"C'mon sweetheart, you can tell me anything." He smiled that charismatic smile of his, "I'm easy to talk to."

It was believable for the most part and you laughed a bit, the first laugh you actually had since that tragic night, "You seem like a sweet talker," you smirked causing Baekhyun to chuckle, "Whats the catch?"

"There is no catch, I just wanted to know if youre okay. And besides, I could tell you've been crying." He pointed to your tear stained cheeks and you mentally cursed yourself for unintentionally crying just a few moments ago.

"Oh.."

"Dont worry," He chuckled, "Whatever it is im sure you'll get over it." Baekhyun almost failed to hide his sinful smug as you frowned and covered it quickly with a swig of your drink.

But something inside was eating you away about what happened, you needed to let out your emotions and you started caring less and less that he was a stranger. Then again, what if you scared him away? What will happen next?

"At least tell me your name first," You blushed and shyly looked over at him who had an expecting glint in his eyes, "Then maybe ill tell you why I'm so upset."

Baekhyun stretched his hand out in front of him and you gently shook it. Damn he had a strong grip, "My names Byun Baekhyun and you?" He asked as if he didnt know who you were.

"Y/n L/n." You beamed, wondering why his name was so familiar. "So uh- my story..." Fumbling with the drink in your hands, you sighed heavily, "Long story short, my boyfriend was...murdered in front of me." You mumbled the last bit, but you didnt need to repeat yourself as Baekhyun already knew every single detail of that night thanks to Sehun.

Placing a soft hand on your shoulder he whispered with fake sympathy, "I understand now why you're so upset," Liar, "I feel terrible," No he doesn't.

He wiped a stray tear that had slipped down your cheeks and sent you a solemn look.

"I-its in the past i guess." You muttered, "I can't change a thing about it."

Damn right you couldnt. Even if there were some form of time travel, Baekhyun wouldn't dare let you try and change the past because that would mean you weren't entirely his. But since there isn't anything like that, Baekhyun has nothing to worry about except figuring out how to bring you back with him.

"Would you like a glass of water, y/n?" Baekhyun asked quickly as a thought popped into his head. You nodded your head slowly and Baekhyun called over the bartender. You werent really paying attention to him ordering the water and just let your mind slip to the sound of the music and looked around the room, tapping your fingers to the beat, but you stopped when you felt a pair of sharp eyes watching you from somewhere. You looked here and there before stopping on a man that was a about a few inches taller than Baekhyun. He had a eerie grin on his face when you noticed him, then he winked.

Chills went down your spine and you spun yourself around in your chair facing forwards causing Baekhyun to raise an eyebrow but he didnt question it.

"Heres the water." He handed the drink over and you thanked him before taking a sip. It tasted a bit weird but not all water tasted the same, though it was slightly dry for water.

"So tell me about yourself, y/n." Baekhyun checked his watch, all he needed was fifteen minutes then you were all his. "You seem like an interesting person." He looked up and smiled.

"Well," You thought about what was possibly interesting enough to tell him, "Im in my second year of college!" A smile crossed your lips.

"Oh really? Where do you go?" Baekhyun did seem interested to know some parts of your life. Somehow, you caught his attention like that. Thats why Sehun was a surprised when he finally made his move with you.

"Seoul of Performing Arts." You beamed. It was the happiest moment in your life when you got accepted and all of your family members, extended and close, celebrated your acceptance, "My boyfriend, Sungho, went there too."

He just about rolled his eyes but replaced it with a nod and a fake warm smile. If you knew him better, you'd know that smile was only him clenching his jaw in anger.

"How cute." The glint in his eyes proved he was lying and maybe you were too stupid or innocent to notice when you took another sip of water.

He watched and wished his plan could go faster, he was excited to have fun with his pretty little toy and he couldnt wait any longer.

"What about you?" You raised a brow. There was still something in your gut that made you feel like you knew him. And you still wondered why. Was he someone famous in the city? Maybe you've heard your friends mention him here and there? What was it about him that was so familiar?

"You'll know soon enough kitten." You frowned at the pet name as he pat your head like you were a small child yet you chose to ignore it.

It was a bit outlandish and made you more skeptical to know who he was.

"Thats not very reassuring, Baekhyun." Your quirked.

"Why tell you when I can just show you?" He leaned in, mocking your now pouty lips and chuckled, "The drugs should be setting in by now."

You lifted your head up with wide eyes, "Wait what?" Did you hear him right? Did he say what you thought he said? "What do you mean drugs!?" You said with awestruck as your heart raced in fear. You hoped to god he was just joking

The man before you smirked that unpleasant smirk of his, almost like the guy you saw before and you started panicking more, knowing he wasn't kidding. You tried to get up and run but you felt so woozy in a matter of seconds. Not to mention the sudden pain in your stomach that made you want to throw up. What was Baekhyuns plan? Why did he do this!? You thought at least one thing could go right tonight and maybe you could have fun, but you were wrong. So so wrong.

Trying to leave the club building, you knew you wouldn't make it but you still wanted to attempt an escape. It didn't have to be like this. Each step made it harder to move and your eyes started drooping. It was too late for you.

Already collapsed on the ground, people gasped and stared at your almost lifeless body as Baekhyun tilted his head to the side, "She tried, ill give her that." He walked over and crouched down next to you, moving the hair out of your pale face, "But not hard enough."

In an instant, your body was thrown over the man's shoulder. No one commented on anything that happened in fear that they could be next. It was impossible to say that they felt bad either, they were just glad it didn't happen to themselves.

"Sehun," He called out to the younger male but Sehun was already ahead of him, "You drive." He tossed him the keys.

With a nod they both walked out, you on Baekyuns shoulder as he took you to the expensive car. Gently, he placed you down in backseat, putting your seatbelt on for you, and climbed in on the other side to sit next to you.

"All this just for a girl." Sehun shook his head but needless to say he still smirked, "Youre loosing yourself, hyung." The car sparked and drove off into the night, no cops came searching. They knew better. And neither was there news of your kidnapping, the city stayed quiet.

Sure once your parents realized you were gone they'd start freaking out, but would they dare mess with Baekhyun? Would anyone actually try to mess with him? The mafia could easily answer that with an optimistic no. Remember, Baekhyun had power. No one is going to stop him.

"How long will she be out for?" Sehun asked.

Baekhyun shrugged, "Like an hour or two." He was excited for your life with him now, he knew you were finally his after a year of watching you come and go in his club, plus the small stalking he did when he wanted to see you, and he could only smile. No one can get in between him and your love anymore. "Shes gonna love it when she gets home!"

Sehun chuckled at Baekhyuns almost child like enthusiam and started, "She seems a bit innocent," he paused, looking back at your passed out body in the mirror before returning back to the road, "Normally women don't look off into space when someone's buying them a drink."

"Maybe she's a bit slow, but she wouldn't be here with me if that didn't happen."

The candle flickered in the dark as you awoke on a strange bed. You're head was pounding a bit as you tried looking around at your unfamiliar surroundings. What happened? Was your first thought and you started questioning where you were too. You knew something wasn't right but you couldn't understand why.

You tried getting up only to be locked in place by restraints on your wrists. They were only silk but they were tied tight enough to keep you still. Tilting your head in confusion, you heard foot steps coming towards the door and stopping for a mere few seconds before the door handle twisted.

You anticipated what was going to happen, you didnt even know what was going on in the first place, but you remembered the man standing in front of you.

"B-Baekhyun..?"

"Hey, kitten." That sinister smile was plastered on his face. You were sure it held more meanings then just one.

"Where a-am i?"

He almost cooed at your curiosity but composed himself, "At my mansion, where you'll be staying from now on."

There was a moment where you had to think, interestingly enough what Baekhyun said didnt even frighten you in the slightest, but then again you were high off the drug.

"C-Can you u-untie my hands please?" Your voice was soft and quiet, Baekhyun noticed you werent fully aware of your surroundings and complied, untying the silk from your wrists.

Your eyes were a little dilated when you looked at him. He was gorgeous, you had to give him that, though you wanted to remember why something wasn't sitting right with him. "Baekhyun?"

He looked up with a hum.

"Who...are y-you to me?" You squinted your eyes at the man who sat on the bed next to you, drawing small shapes on your thigh in a sort of loving manner.

"Your boyfriend, y/n."

Boyfriend? You have a boyfriend?

"I have a boyfriend..?" You muttered and asked more to yourself than to him, but he snickered, knowing way more than you did.

"Kitten you drank too much, go back to sleep." He lied and pushed your shoulders down so you were flat against the mattress.

"I-i did?" You whined when Baekhyun kissed your cheek. He always wanted to kiss more than your cheek, he couldnt bring himself to do that unless you were fully conscious for him.

"Yes baby girl, so get some sleep."

You grumbled, "I-Im not t-tired."

Baekhyun sighed, "Then what would the pretty girl like to do?"

You perked up on the mattress and grinned, "Im hungry!"

"Youre hungry?" Baekhyun repeated with a smile at your small childlike energy and you nodded back, "I can ask someone to make you something if you'd like."

"Please!"

He stood up, waiting for you to do the same but since you weren't very awake, you stumbled a bit.

Baekhyun settled with carrying you to the mansions kitchen, awing at your cuteness the whole time. It was a bit of a walk but luckily you were light.

Sitting you down, Baekhyun walked off, finding someone to cook for you. In your state, you felt a bit lonely, only knowing Baekhyun and not your surroundings, it made you feel a bit lost. It shocked you too how you didnt remember Baekhyun being your boyfriend, you started question the relationship between the two of you more.

"Princess i got you your favorite dish!" He walked in with a plate of jjajangmyeon and set it down in front of you.

Your mouth was watering and you were ready to dig in before wondering, "H-How do you know m-my favorite dish?"

Baekhyun hesitated at the question before clearing his throat and spoke with a raised brow, "We're dating y/n, why wouldn't I know what you like?"

"Uh yeah..right...." you dug in, your mind was starting to clear up a bit, not enough for you to fully remember anything though. But the more you thought, the more consciousness you regained.

Baekhyun watched as you gobbled down the meal with full satisfaction. This wouldn't be the first time he's watched you and neither would it be the last. He liked knowing you were eating well and were healthy so he was proud.

"I-im done!"

"Good girl. Now wait for me to come back so we can go to bed, okay?" You nodded and sat patiently as he took your plate and waited for your boyfriend to come back.

A few moments later, Baekhyun still was no where to be seen and your mind was slowly coming back, "N-no...wait." mumbling to yourself, you figured it out in just mere seconds and remembered that your boyfriend was brutally murdered four days ago in front of you. After four days you went to the bar to drink away the anguish and met someone, that someone was Byun Baekhyun. After thirty or so minutes of talking to him, you were drugged when you werent paying attention and passed out minutes later. Now you were here at Baekhyuns mansion, lied to and kidnapped. "Oh fuck."

The chair scraped against the floor and you wasted no time running to your hopeful freedom.

But you weren't a lucky person. Oh no you weren't. You were tossed and pushed against the door you were about to open by someone much bigger. He was the same guy you saw at the bar and his smirk was nothing different. Cynical and frightening.

The man stepped closer to you before putting one hand next to your head and whispered, "Are you playing a cat and mouse game with hyung now? How cute." Standing tall, he grabbed you by the hair and dragged you back to where you came. You groaned and tried fighting back, but there was no use, he wasn't going to let go until after he practically threw you into Baekhyuns arms.

You were about to scream at Baekhyun and the no name man until Baekhyun covered your mouth with his hand, "Say something and you'll regret it." He growled into your ear as you shook and fought.

You hummed against him and tried biting his hand and punching his side, but he was like a man of steel and let it happen, only raising his brow like he wanted to hurt you, but didnt.

"Sehun, tell Chanyeol to lock all the doors for the next week or so 'til she learns how to behave."

The man nodded and ran off leaving you two alone. Fear was one way to describe it and the look Baekhyun gave you didnt help.

"Now kitten why would you go and do some shit like that? Are you asking to be punished?" He took his hand off your mouth to let you speak. Baekhyuns aura was much different than earlier. The nice guy was gone and you were left with a man who could kill you with just one look.

You stopped hitting him and screamed viciously, "Fuck you! You're fucking insane!"

"Now now princess," he pressed a hand to your throat, wrapping it tighter and tighter until you felt the oxygen leave your lungs, "It seems as if you're asking for a punishment."

"I-if you...s-so dare to-touch..any other p-part of my body, i-ill....kill you..." You whimpered, grabbing his wrist in attempts to pull him off but Baekhyun was relentless, keeping his grasp tight and painful.

"Stop struggling, you're only making this harder for yourself."

There were two options now, either listen to Baekhyun or fight until you passed out again.

"Princess." His voice held a warning tone and you hesitantly stopped and moments later he loosened his grip, you knew there would be marks by tomorrow, "We are going to bed now. Don't try to run, I have this place guarded up and if you do somehow make it out, be prepared because I will find you and beat your ass until you can't sit for a month. Understand?"

Your stomach did flips and not in a good way, you were scared, "Y-yes."

"Can you say 'yes master'?" His voice went higher as he said the last part to mimic yours.

You sighed, positive if you didnt comply then you'd be here all night, "Yes m-master..."

"Good girl." He kissed your cheek and you almost smacked him in disgust but tried not to act aggressive towards him. You wanted to leave, not be punished by whatever he had in mind. "Call me that from now on."

Baekhyun grabbed your hand and led you to the room you were just in, now that you took a good look, it was a pretty room. There was a red sofa against the wall and some other matching chairs plus a huge flat screen TV hanging on the wall facing the bed. You had to admit, he had good taste but he was still insane.

As you sat down on the bed, Baekhyun reached into his draw to pull out a t-shirt and handed it to you with a wide smile, but you raised a brow at the fabric.

"No pants?" You asked.

Baekhyun chuckled, "What for?"

"Because of creeps like you." You grumbled and snatched the shirt that dangled in front of your face before storming off into the connected bathroom. Inside, you could hear Baekhyuns annoying laugh and ignored it, changing into the surprisingly very oversized shirt that went down to your mid thigh.

Taking the clothes you wore earlier, you went back into the room where Baekhyun laid peacefully on the bed, waiting for you.

He only had his boxers on which made you groan in anger and decided to not lay on the bed and instead on the couch near it.

"Princess, what are you doing?" He perched himself on his elbows, watching you throw your clothes on the ground then take the folded blanket on the couch and wrap yourself with it as you laid down.

"Going to sleep, master." You stated coldly with a glare.

Baekhyun rolled his eyes, "Get over here." He said, voice low and laced with dominance but you remained still, closing your eyes and pretending as if you were asleep. "Y/n." He warned but there was no reply.

"Thats it." You heard him get up and march to where you laid. Baekhyun picked you up and you yelped at the sudden intrusion and were thrown over his shoulder.

Smacking his back got you nowhere as he threw you down on the bed, pinning both your hands down and hovered over you with a killing look, "Next time you don't listen, ill bend you over my knee."

"Youre all talk, no action." In an instant you were flipped over and a hand landed straight on your bare ass, leaving you shocked and mouth agape.

"Are you sure, kitten? Would you like me to spank you again?"

"N-no."

"No what?"

"N-no master.."

Baekhyun slowly let you go and laid beside you, still a bit irrated. "Now go to sleep."

You couldnt. Not with the lingering fear of what could happen next. Plus, not with his arm wrapped around your waist with a somewhat tight hold. You were just too scared to let your gaurd down. Why shouldn't you be scared though? What if he took advantage of your sleeping body and did something terrible.

There was no way you could get rest now. You could now count this as your fifth day without proper sleep.

[mtherhino]

One side, two lives

Chapter twelve

You should be thanking me

First Previous Next

Warnings: talk of anorexia, self hatred, lot of swearing, swords, a bit of blood and general angst

Virgil yawned as he walked out of his room. He had finished beating Remus in super Mario carts a while ago and had decided to take a nap. As soon as he left his room his anxiety shot up. The former dark sidegriped his chest and leaned against the hallway wall to keep from falling down. He didn’t know why but he suddenly felt like he was on the verge of having a panic attack. He took a few deep breaths to try to calm himself down and not hyperventilate. ��

Once he calmed himself down enough to actually stand he started walking to the living room. He saw Patton sitting on the couch looking upset and Logan sitting at the dining table with annoyance written all over his face. Virgil didn’t know what to do. He had never been that great at comforting people and he didn’t even know what happened in the first place.

The former dark side looked back over at Patton again who was mumbling to himself and had a fairway look as he stared at the floor.  Virgil couldn’t make out what he was saying but he heard the words “right “ and “wrong” a few times. In the end Virgil decided it would be better to try to talk to Logan rather than Patton, at least that way he couldn’t  figure out what happened to make everyone upset and Thomas’s anxiety spike so suddenly.

The  anxious side walked over the table and sat down. Logan looked up and Virgil gave him a confused look, the meaning was pretty clear, ‘what the hell happened?’ The logical side sighed and put down his book. He explained everything that happened during and after the wedding, making sure to keep his voice down the whole time. Although he tried to tell the story without any biases a bit of annoyance and anger slipped into his voice when he told Virgil about the others skipping over what he had to say.

When he finished his explanation Virgil didn’t know how to feel. He knew it was wrong what Roman had said to Deceit, even if he does hate the despicable snake, and he defiantly needs to apologies, but that doesn’t excuse the others behavior. Roman was trying to do what he thought was right, though his decisions may have been pretty bad he wasn’t trying to make all this shit happen, plus’s all of them had decided that Thomas would go to the wedding. Not only that but they all should have listened to Logan sooner, maybe they couldn’t have avoided some of this.

Not being able to think of anything to really say the purple clad side sighed tiredly. Logan nodded in agreement.

“That’s, that’s defiantly not good, any of it. I’m sorry you were talked over, I should have been there –“. Before he could finish his sentence Virgil was cut off.

“I mean no offense by this but I think it was a good thing you weren’t there. There was enough chaos as it was having anyone more there would have just added to it.”

           Virgil went to argue but stoped himself. He knew deep down that Logan was right but that didn’t make the feeling of guilt and fear that was rooted in his mind go away.

“Thanks Logan. Now that I have all the fact I think I’ll go talk to Patton about all this. This was really helpful.” Logan smiled a little at the praise as Virgil went to talk to the father figure of the mind scape.

           Virgil sat down on the other side of the couch from Patton who still had a faraway look in his eyes. The anxious side’s eyes softened, the description of Pattons panic attack didn’t sound good, and he wasn’t even there for it to see how bad it really was.

“Hey Pat.” The moral side looked up when he heard his name and seemed to be surprised to see Virgil next to him. Once he realizes it though he quickly put on a clearly strained d smile and sat up a bit more, putting on his “cheery” attitude.

“Oh hey kiddo! I didn’t hear you come in! What’s up?” Patton said with a smile. Virgil continued to look at the fatherly side with a sad expression.

“I heard about what happened today.”  Patton’s smile faded into a look that wasn’t quite readable until it was replaced with a much sadder smile.

“I see. I’m sorry if we caused you any stress kiddo. Me and the others just had a…. disagreement on what was the right thing to do.” Patton tried to explain.

           Virgil hummed and offered Patton a side hug. The moral side leaned into the hug and Virgil tried to comfort him. Just as the anxious side was about to say something all three light sides heard running coming from the hallway. The yellow clad dark side stoped in the entrance of the hallway, distress written on his face. Patton stood up and quickly walked over to deceit Janus.

“Janus whats wrong?”

“I most certainly wouldn’t like to know if any of you have seen Remus. I definitely “can” find him in the dark side of the mindscape.” The lying side said, worry dripping form his words.

           Logan’s head shot up when he heard that, finally putting down his book and walking over to Janus, a concerned look on his face. It slightly surprised Virgil how worried the logical side looked, usually he showed as little emotion as he could.

“No I haven’t even seen him today, which is odd.” The logical side mumbled out the last part, confusing the others in the room. “Are you sure he isn’t in the imagination?” Logan said with a concerned frown.

           The deceitful side shook his head.

“He “wouldn’t” have told me if he was going.” Janus said with sad and slightly guilty eyes. Virgil wasn’t sure why they held guilt in them but he decided it was about time he joined the conversation.

“I was playing Mario cart with him earlier today but that was at least two hours ago.” The anxious side said as he stuck his hands in his hoodie pockets, not liking the fact that the others where now looking at him. “He was acting like his normal Remus self at the time so I don’t know what could be wrong.”

The sides took a minute to ponder what could have happened. Out of know where a dark and ominous aura took over the room. Janus summoned his cane as soon as he felt it and the other prepared themselves for whatever was too come. Virgil watched in awe and horror as the room changed around them.

The warm tan colors on the wall shifted into a dark grey that had bits of gold speckling the color. The curtains became long and changed into a blood red velvet fabric. Almost everything in the room took on sharp twisting edges that looked like they could belong in a castle. Lastly a throne materialize from the ground at the back wall of the  room, the perfect place to survey everything. The throne was a dark black that seems to soak up any light that touched it. The back and seat had some maroon red cushioning, gold tipped the edges of every spike, as well as right above where the head would be if someone where to sit down in the mighty chair. The room finally settled and it looked a lot more like a throne room then a living room. The sides took a minute to take in the now slightly unsettling features to the mindscape before a voice spoke up from behind them.

“Much better. The whole room was so bland, not at all befitting of a king.” An oddly familiar voice said. All the sides turned quickly to where the voice was coming form and saw a figure emerge from a cloud of mist. The figure, the side, had his head bowed so that they couldn’t see his face. Janus stepped in front with his cane in a defensive position ready to protect the others. Virgil tried to focus more on the new side and saw that had he had a golden cape trailing behind him as well as a glowing sword that he held in front of him like a cane, ready to be used if the need arises.

Virgil gasped a little and took a step back, making the others even more nervous then they already where. The reasons for the anxious sides actions where because he recognized this person in front of him. It’s him. The one I saw in my dreams, the one that kil-, Virgil shook his head trying not to think about that part of his dream. But how is this guy here? How is he even real?!

Janus was the first to say something as he raised his cane at the stranger.

“Who are you, and what do you want?” The snake like side hissed out, sounding a lot braver than he actually felt. The royal side laughed, a cruel and cold sound that made the other sides, light and dark,  stiffened. The figure raised his head and the group group gasp lightly. Because there staring right at them with the most evil look any of them had ever seen, was their friend and prince, Roman.

           Virgil was the first to speak this time.

“Roman? It that you?” The anxious side said with tears in his eyes as he took a small step forward, only for Janus to hold out an arm stopping him. Although the sides where all just aspects of Thomas, they each had little differences about there faces that made it easier to distinguish who was who, no one side could look exactly like another, not even Janus. However there stood someone that looked exactly like the creative side they all knew and cared for, all except for the side’s red and golden eyes. The side also had a black streak in his otherwise brown hair. The Roman- look-alike side barked a harsh laugh at the smaller side’s words.

           “You think I’m that pathetic excuse for a side? Your idiotic prince? Well thankfully for all of you, I’m not.” The side said with a smile. Virgil growled and was about to speak up in Roman’s defense before Logan covered his mouth. The now angry purple side turned to the logical one of the group and glared. The taller side shook his head and mouthed the words ‘just wait’, his eyes giving away that he was more than a little weary about the situation. It took a minute but Virgil eventually nodded and Logan let him go hesitantly, both turning back to the new side.

           “If I may, if your not Roman as you say, who are you?” Logan spoke up boldly. A smirk formed on the red eyed side’s farce.

“Well, Logan, I’m something a thousand times better than that stupid prince.” The side took a step forward, his word dragging behind him, while the others stepped back. “Im the most powerful side you’ll ever meet,” another step, “the true king of the imagination,” another step, the others backs hit the wall.

“And most importantly of all,” the side swung the sword forward so that it was now at Janus’s throat.

           “The new king of the mindscape.” His smile was wide and his eyes glowed a dangerous gold.

                                   “I am Pride.”

           Janus glared at the person in front of him.

“That’s impossible, Roman holds the roll of pride. He’s literally Thomas’s Ego.” The dark side said. Pride growled in anger and Janus had to admit, he was tempted to take a step back. Still the yellow clad side had to hold his ground, besides, there was nowhere to go.

“Maybe he was at one point, but for quite a while now, even while imprisoned, the roll of pride has belonged to me.” The side smiled. “Roman hasn’t done a great job of filling in for my job so I decided to come back. That fool could never do anything right, don’t you agree?” When pride said does words he looked directly at both Patton and Janus. Janus only glared at the side more, but Patton wrapped his arms around himself, lowering his head in shame and guilt. The king’s smile only grew as he saw the effect his words had on the sides.

“What do you mean it was his roll?” Virgil said while he tried to stop himself from punching the man, though he wasn’t able to stop his glare.

“Why its quite simple really.” Pride said with what would be called a charming smile if it wasn’t so sinister. “You see when creativity was split into Roman and Remus, it wasn’t quite the clean cut everyone hoped for.” Patton only cowered more as the king spoke. “Remus wasn’t pure evil and Roman wasn’t pure good. Remus not only represents intrusive thoughts but also embodies self confrontation, which can help Thomas, where as Roman is not only Thomas’s hopes and dreams, but his pride and ego which where always considered as bad things.” Pride was frowning as he spoke about what he represented being something evil.  

“That’s what Thomas and Roman where always told. That being prideful lead to selfishness and only thinking about yourself. It wasn’t long before Roman, who was still a child, started to hate this side of himself and kept thinking that if one part about him was wrong then he must be a bad person. I honestly don’t know where he could have gotten such black and white thinking from.” As Pride said this he glared at Patton, making the moral side tremble. Janus stepped between his gaze and glared right back at him. Pried rolled his eyes and continued, his sword now lowered.

“As Roman grew up his self hatred never stopped, and slowly but surely, he started to break.” The others eyes widened as they started to catch on to what pride was getting at. Pride smiled at the fear that was present in all there faces.

“Remus had tried to help his brother but to no avail, and one day, Roman couldn’t have been more than 13 years old, the young prince ran as far as he could into the imagination as voices screamed at him in his head, Remus chafed after him. The  brothers ran all the way to the tallest mountain in the imagination, the land had shifted around them to make it easier for them. When Remus had finally caught up to his brother he found Roman crying in pain and with cracks of gold littering his skin. And before he knew it, Remus wasn’t looking at just his brother, but another entirely knew side.”Pride grinned as horror made its way onto all the sides faces. This is what he wanted, for them to see what their actions cost him.

“Roman had willingly tried to split himself again to make all of you happy, except this split didn’t turn out as well as the first. There just wasn’t enough to make two whole sides from an already split creativity. Since I was only a fraction of what he represented Roman stayed himself while I became something, new. So me and Roman where still connected afterwards, the only thing was that only one of us could exist in the mindscape.” Pride frowned at the floor as his memories darkened.

“I was the first to realize it, so of course I tried to kill him. If only one of us could exist, then it was going to be me.” The king’s frowned turned into a glare and his voice became harsher. “Roman caught on quick and started to fight me, Remus was still on the sidelines not knowing what to do and who to help. I’ll admit I wasn’t the brightest back then. While we fought I yelled at Roman about how everyone was going to pay for what they did to me.” The king shrugged, but the movement held much more anger then he thought it would.

“I would say I was right to be angry. I mean I was only created to be thrown away. Unlike Remus there wasn’t anything good that I represented. I was just the thing that everyone hated and wanted to get rid of, the thing everyone despised.” Pride turned his glare to the sides, all of them looking regretful as they found out about what their actions had caused. Good, Pride thought, they deserve to feel like shit after what they’ve done.

“ I would have won the fight if Roman and Remus hadn’t cheated. After hearing what I had said Remus had decided to help out Roman. After a while they finally beat me and my form started to disappear. They both that I was just too unstable, that I died and Roman just got his flaws back. And that’s how it stayed until recently.” The sides took a minute to take in the information.

“Wh-what happened that, that made you come back?” Patton asked, still not being able to look at Pride. Pride grinned, a mixture of joy, anger and satisfaction in his eyes.

“Well when Roman sacrificed what could have been Thomas’s big break his confidence was shattered, and since he became weaker, I finally grew strong enough to speak to him.” Patton’s eyes grew wide. Im the one that said we should go to the wedding. I’m the reason pride came back? I’m the reason where in this mess? Patton thought to himself.

“After that I helped to lower his ego and pride bit by bit, though it wasn’t very hard. I only told him things he already thought about himself. Plus Thomas was feeling so disheartened that Roman literally got sick! Ha! Honestly even if I never said a word to him I’m certain that his depression and self loathing would have done my job for me.” Pride said, chuckling a little at how simple it had all been.

Virgil felt nothing but white hot anger and sadness for his prince. This scumbag had been making Roman feel worse about himself than he already did and he took joy in it?! What kind of selfish bastard does that?! This time it took both Logan and Janus acting quickly to stop Virgil from charging and punching the royal side in the face.Pride turned to the enraged side and smiled.

“And that’s not even the worst of it. Before I even came back Roman was already suffering. He had horrible insomnia because he was worried about disappointing others by not getting his work done. And not to mention his eating disorder.” The other sides turned to Pride in confusing, except or Virgil, he simply looked broken as Pride confirmed his suspicions.

“Oh, don’t tell me you didn’t know? Roman had terrible anorexia, he could barely stomach eating half the time, if he could get away with it he would skip put on eating for days. He hated how he looked and even shape shifted in front of others to make himself look skinnier.” The king smiled at the horror and sadness that was painted on the sides faces. “Once he even said to me that he only ate because he didn’t want to pass out and not finish his work. He didn’t want to dissappoint everyone.”

Pride laughed distracting the others from their thoughts.

“Today just turned out to be the last straw for him. After trying his whole life to be good and be what other people wanted him to be, being called the evil twin broke him. His only purpose in life was to be Thomas’s hero and now he wasn’t even that.” Janus dropped his cane when he heard that. He knew after the video ended that he went too far and that he needed to apologize to Roman but… he hadn’t meant to hurt him like that. A thud was heard form behind him and when the dark side turned he saw that Patton had fallen to his knees, tears pouring down his face.

           Pride ignored the fallen side and kept talking, wanting the other sides to hurt as much as possible.

“Once again Roman ran away into the imagination, except this time no one followed him. On accident he found himself right where it all began. He felt horrible for what he said to Janus and didn’t think anyone would ever forgive him. In the end Roman wished that he could disappear, spare everyone from his mistakes, so I helped make that wish come true. Your prince gave up, so I came back.”

The others let the words sink in. They had broken the prince so much he had wanted to just go away so that they would be ok. All of them had tears in there eyes at this point. Virgil did his best to keep his voice steady as he spoke.

“Where is he then. Where’s Roman, and Remus too for that matter.” Pride smiled and the room seemed to grow colder. “Honestly you should be thanking me that I got rid of those idiotic twins for you.” For a moment it seemed like time stoped. There was only silence. Then Virgil let out a cry of rage and charged at Pride. Logan didn’t hold him back this time, instead he charged with him, both of their eyes overflowing with tears.  

           Pride seemed unconcerned with the two enraged sides charging at him. He simply swept his hand to left and the whole room rotated, sending the two light sides crashing into the wall. Virgil groaned as he turned around and leaned against the wall. His noes was bleeding and he was fairly sure that he broke it. He looked over at Logan to see the logical side rubbing his head and with his glasses on the floor next to him, now broken in two. Before they could stand up a glowing sword was pointed at their faces.

“Just give up. Your friends are gone, and there never coming back.”

Wow it’s been a while. Sorry iv been gone for so long guys, school just started up again and it been hard trying to find time to just sit down and write. Anyways I hope you enjoyed this slightly longer than average chapter, I tried to put all the angst in it I could. I hope that your all on the edge of your seat waiting to find out what happens next. Well I’m going to go die now, have a good week humans, bye!

Tag list:

@lovelivingmydreams

[xyliane]

wild blue yonder

summary: killua had plenty of better ideas for how to spend his eighteenth birthday. a cake a mile high, a day on the town with alluka, maybe even some peace and quiet for once. instead, he’s doing what all zoldycks do: assassination, murder, the works, all at the ass end of the ocean, all because it will tilt the scales of trade just enough in their favor to make a move. he doesn’t have to worry about a blood curse, no matter what his sister says.

notes: think of this less like a fic and more a...preview? I’ve written about 10,000 words of this off and on over the last year or so, and I would love to write more, but [gestures at the world] [pokes at the smoldering remnants of my dissertation]. yeah. so, as special thanks to @trashsketch and @thehuntyhunties, here’s a first draft of the first bit of cursed prince (which, knowing me, will get a wholesale rewrite of the first section at least cuz lol worldbuilding). T (blood and killua’s mouth), pre-killugon; ft: mito, the zoldycks, ikalgo, and did I mention the blood. 4900 words. (title is not the final title, but swiped hastily from the third track of “the horror and the wild”)

notes pt 2: @trashsketch DREW THIS FOR THIS AU aaaaaaa

---

Alluka’s eyes turn black over dinner three weeks before Killua’s eighteenth birthday, and he has to shove half a bread roll into his mouth to avoid making any noise. If he’s lucky, no one else will notice. If Alluka’s lucky, Nanika won’t say anything, will stare at Killua for a few minutes before slipping back into the recesses of his sister’s mind. If they’re both lucky, they can return to their meals and continue ignoring whatever Mom and Illumi are discussing about the southern trade routes, in tones just barely not argumentative. If Killua’s lucky, he won’t have to kill anyone in the next month.

Of course, the Zoldyck family has never owed its success to luck. They have skill, and intelligence, and a massive fortune. They have a town full of merchants and spies at the base of Kukuroo Mountain, centuries of debts of money and life tying the people to the family. They have, Silva Zoldyck is fond of noting, family. And family is paramount.

Even more than that, though, they have Nanika. They have information, dropped right into their minds. All it costs is a bit of death, the risk of death or curse or worse if they don’t do what she suggests. Just that, and Killua’s little sister.

The family thinks it’s worth the price, so they have to deal with it for now. Killua’s his father’s successor to their mountains of gold and death. He’ll change it. He’s promised Alluka.

“Mom, look,” Milluki says. Killua swallows a curse.

A smile stretches across Kikyo Zoldyck’s face, as full of empty pleasure as the black visor stretched over her eyes. “Well. This is convenient.” She turns to Illumi. “Shall we see what to do about our mercantile issues in the South Sea?”

Illumi frowns. “If you must,” he says, and looks expectantly at Killua. “Kil? Take care of it.”

“Alluka’s not an it. And it’s not my turn.”

Mom sighs melodramatically. “Kil,” she says. 

“Mom,” he says in the exact same tone.

Father, who’s spent most of dinner silent, snorts a chuckle. When Killua turns to him, he gets a firm nod, bright glimmer in his pale blue eyes. “Go on, Kil,” he says, voice rumbling. “Ask after the block in trade. Best do it now, before the thing in your sibling chooses otherwise.”

Killua nods once, and turns to his sister. She is still staring at him—Nanika is still staring, black eyes blank and a strange little smile on her face. 

“Nanika,” he says, voice steady. 

Her smile widens. Killua, she says, her voice an echo between his ears. No one else hears. I love Killua.

I love you too, he thinks back, and hopes that she can hear. “Nanika, how do we open up trade in the South Seas to benefit the Kingdom of Padokea?”

“And the Zoldycks,” Milluki says, a sneer in his voice.

“We are Padokea,” Mom says, and sneers right back. 

Nevertheless, Killua grits his teeth and adds, “And the Zoldyck family.”

Maybe this time will be different. Maybe she’ll give them a corporation, or an abandoned island full of pirates. Pirates would be fun. Or maybe nothing will happen, and Killua will be able to turn eighteen without being halfway across the world burying a sword into someone’s back. He can take Alluka to town, sneak her out the back while the butlers aren’t looking. It’ll only be for a day, and he’ll be with her. 

Nanika opens Alluka’s mouth.

Dammit, is all Killua manages to think, before the vision slams into him.

        red 

    is all he gets at first, and he thinks that maybe this time, he won’t be the center of this vision. Maybe Milluki will get one and have to get off the mountain for the first time all year. Maybe even Illumi will stop hovering, conspicuously leaving profiles of eligible bachelorettes for Mom to coo over and Killua to ignore. But the table turns red and Killua sees

                red ocean

    red hair green (brown) eyes

                red lips

            red stains on pale  skin

red flower in black (white) hair

red scars on dark stars  

                red waters overflowing

                           red death under red sails

        red blood

    red

red red

    red red red red red reD RED

The vision releases him, and Killua barely manages to catch himself before he pitches face-first into the soup. Even after the fact, his senses are swimming in blood, enough that he can practically taste it. One of these days, he’s going to learn how to live with it. The rest of his family does.

“Kil, where are you going?” Illumi asks.

So much for his birthday plans. “Where do you think,” he says. 

“Kil,” Mom says again, and he rolls his eyes.

“The ass end of the ocean, I think,” Killua says, and ignores his mother’s affronted gasp as he starts in on the rest of his dinner. It tastes chalky under the blood. “I’ve got a month to kill the queen of Whale Island.”

“Isn’t that the place with the magic storms and the cursed pirates?” Milluki says.

“You can’t use magic to control storms, idiot,” Kalluto mutters, just loud enough for Killua to hear.

“The cost?” Illumi asks.

Killua shrugs. “Blood curse. Nothing new.”

Nanika always exchanges her information for curses. Illumi and Kalluto have messed up before and come back with numb limbs or empty eyes, consequences for having failed within the time limit. But those curses are simpler things. Killua gets the blood curse, every single time.

He loves his sister, and he’s grown to love Nanika, in her own way. But he doesn’t need the extra pressure.

Father claps a hand on Killua’s shoulder. “Don’t worry, Kil. We will celebrate your birthday when you get home from the ass end of the ocean.”

Mom makes a scandalized noise and Killua smiles, pride radiating out from where Father’s hand rests against his shoulder. It makes him stand taller, almost as tall as Illumi. Never as tall as Silva Zoldyck. No one is that tall.

Behind him, Alluka stirs listlessly, blue eyes foggy. Once Father’s grip lifts from him, Killua reaches over to grab her hand, squeezing in whatever comfort he can. She tries to smile back. No one else notices. “Be careful, Brother,” she mutters. “Blood stains.”

————————————

It takes the better part of three weeks to get to Whale Island. Killua could have taken a cabin in one of the spice merchant’s galleon and been there in half a month. But that would be easy. Zoldycks do their job well, and well doesn’t mean easy. The first ship out of Dentora was only a week, but from there it was a schooner to a sailboat to three days on a blasted fishing dinghy for the last few islands. The sailors had laughed at him when he’d said where he was going. At least the food’s been good, because he’s going to turn eighteen out here in the gods-forgotten nowhere. He’d hate to come home and tell Alluka there had been nothing good out here.

For all that they’re in the middle of nowhere, the Whale Island port is almost impressive. If a place could be valued solely on the number of colors, Whale Island would be the richest port on earth. The ships alone are every shade imaginable, the height of summer trade filling each dock to overflowing. Purple sails from Kakin, greens and yellows from Lukso, the ostentatiously huge gilded galleons out of Yorknew. Even austere blacks and whites from Padokea, sticking out of the rainbow forest like snow-blistered icebergs. It makes him feel like home, almost. He’ll catch one of them off the island as soon as he’s done. Father will make sure they’re fairly compensated for leaving ahead of schedule. And sprinkled throughout are the collection of Whale Island’s mercantile armada, with no set color or design other than a bright circle of orange-gold, open at one end.

The port itself bustles with life, as diverse as the ships in harbor. It lacks the size or height of trade centers on the mainland, or even other islands like Balsa’s landmass-spanning city. But it makes up for it in smells, and shapes, and the honest smiles on merchants’ faces even as they fleece their customers for every extra cent. Out here, there’s no option but the port. They smile at Killua all the same.

Killua’s assassinations usually take a little more finesse—a Zoldyck is a threat, and he’s dyed his hair more than once to vanish into a crowd. But here, Killua’s pale skin and travel-stained dark clothing doesn’t even stick out, so long as he keeps his white hair tucked under a thin hood. No one even looks twice at the sword on his hip or the knives weighing down his boots, not with how everyone else seems to be armed. It’s almost relaxing. He can drift into the forest, kill the queen, and drift back out again, catching a ship out of port before anyone is the wiser. 

Maybe this is a pirate nest, and no one thought to tell Killua…?

“Hey, traveler! You come in recently?”

Killua turns and is blasted in the face with the smell of fried fish. Behind a grill covered in pans and fish, a short round man with reddish skin and beady eyes waggles his thick eyebrows, a shock of black beneath a bald head. As he does, his arms dart back and forth between tasks, juggling fire and vegetables and pots as though he has extra arms. It’s kind of hilarious, and Killua doesn’t restrain a laugh.

The man grins back, obviously pleased. “Yeah, not exactly the easiest, getting all the way out here,” he says. “Sit down, look over the grill, tell me what you want.”

“That’s okay, I don’t—” Killua starts to protest, when another man reaches around the cook and drops an assortment of things off the grill and onto a plate. Well, a young man, not much older than Killua, with thick black hair woven back into a single braid trailing halfway down his back. Freckled brown skin is clearly visible beneath an open green vest woven through with gold thread. It would look almost princely, if it weren’t covered in oil and fish guts, and worn almost to the point of being transparent. 

The young man hands the plate to Killua with a conspiratorial light in his bright brown eyes. “You should eat,” he says, and his voice is tinged with Whale Island’s rich accent—thick vowels, rolling syllables. It’s musical, in a way Killua wouldn’t have expected.

He doesn’t realize he’s staring until the man pushes the plate more insistently at him. Killua shakes his head. He doesn’t want to stay any longer than he has to. He can’t get too close. “I’m not—”

“It’s on the house.”

“It is not!” the chef says, and thwaps the young man across the back of his head with a stack of napkins. “I have a business to run, and the shipping season don’t last all year.”

“Sorry, Ikalgo,” the young man says, an apologetic grin on his face. It doesn’t stop the chef’s rant, loud enough that it attracts the attention of the bread maker next door, who begins to cackle in amusement. The young man does his best to weather the shouting, only occasionally interjecting that he’s been working here for only a few days, that he’ll pay the difference, he promises. But when he catches Killua’s eye, he winks, as though this is all some great game and no one else has caught on yet.

Killua feels his cheeks heat up. Rather than worry about that, he shoves a skewer of fish into his mouth, and then he forgets about the rest because blessed gods that’s good. There’s spice in here he’s never even smelled before, mixed with something sweet that makes it even hotter than it should be.

The chef’s winding down by the time Killua’s finished, his assistant as apologetic as ever. They both notice Killua’s empty plate at the same time. The chef even seems impressed. “This ain’t your first time on the Islands, eh?”

Killua shrugs rather than answer. No wonder Mom is so invested in taking control of this route, if the spices pack this much of a punch. The investors in Padokea are probably salivating at the possibility of owning even a fraction of the trade. “The food’s really good,” he says instead, and the chef lights up.

“Ikalgo’s got the best seafood on Whale Island,” the young man says. “How long are you here for? Palm’s got great pastries, and she’s right next door.”

If the pastries are even close to as good as the fish, Killua might be convinced to stay here forever. But he can’t. This is why Illumi always tells him to never talk to anyone, not more than he needs to. It’s too easy to fall into conversation, to get attached. When his only job is to destroy the lodestone of a city, or a kingdom, or an island, he can’t afford any distractions. Not even cute boys offering him pastries with big brown eyes. 

The assistant seems to sense Killua’s hesitation, and his grin dims a little. But before either of them can say anything else, the chef yanks on his thick black braid and snaps, “You still have another three hours here!”

“But Ikalgo—”

“After last time, you owe me!”

“Even Palm didn’t ask,” the young man whines.

“Palm didn’t lose her entire storefront to a flashflood.”

Killua can’t stick around. He grabs his bag, heavy with travel supplies, and turns to face the edges of the market. The trail leads up and away into the jungle. Theoretically, the queen’s mansion should be somewhere up there. But where…

Well, maybe it can’t hurt to ask one more question.

“Do you know who might know where the queen of Whale Island lives?” he asks, not expecting commoners to know the answer. 

But the chef and his assistant shrug. “Ask anyone,” the young man says. “Anyone knows.”

“Anyone from the Island knows,” Ikalgo clarifies. “Her house is up at the end of the path, bout forty-five minutes into the jungle. Can’t miss it.”

Killua blinks. “Can anyone…go?”

The young man shrugs again. “Sure. If you wait a bit, I can—”

“What part of three hours do you not understand?”

“But he—”

“I’ll be fine,” Killua says, and nods politely. The chef and his assistant wave goodbye, and go back to bickering. Out of the corner of his eye, Killua can see the chef getting back to food prep, even as the young man grabs plates and napkins for other customers. He should feel bad that this is all going to ruin. Not immediately, sure. But without a ruler, most places fall apart. And if it falls apart, even for a little while, it’s long enough for Padokeans to set up shop, to reclaim the trade routes and caches of power that they want.

Maybe Whale Island will do okay in the end. Or maybe not. It’s not Killua’s problem.

Too bad, though. The food was good.

The queen’s house is indeed right up the road. Killua makes it within sight of the low walls outside the complex before ducking into the trees, not willing to risk a frontal assault on his own. As friendly as the Islanders seem to be, especially the assistant, the amount of armed fighters and sailors could be a problem. Once Killua finds a good rock, too heavy for a normal person to lift, he swaps his traveling clothes for proper Zoldyck gear: black trousers, an armored black jacket, silver-grey gloves. His sword is sheathed against his hip, and his boot knives are supplemented by another blade at the small of his back. He stashes all of his earrings but one, a sapphire stud Alluka had given him for his sixteenth birthday. She’d said it was for luck. But Zoldycks don’t have luck.

Killua keeps it anyways. Maybe he’ll be lucky this time.

Killua wants to finish this quick and quiet, on the small chance that the young man from the fish grill gets off work and comes up the path. By the time the chaos sets, he should be on the ship and halfway out to sea. Even the fastest ships won’t be able to catch him.

He climbs up the back wall, peering into what looks like a vegetable garden behind a modest two-story building. Killua recognizes about half of the herbs—most of them are useful as poisons, and a few are normally grown in the middle of a forest. None of them have any business being behind a queen’s home. Then again, the building would barely qualify as a merchant’s house in many kingdoms, well-constructed as it is. It’s the color of the sky and thatched neatly, signs of old storms and hard winter winds in the occasional cracked paint. The back door is a solid dark wood, and the window on the second floor is open to the sky. There’s no sign of any caretakers or guards, not even footsteps. The only sound is a quiet hum of a woman’s voice, wafting gently down from the open window.

It can’t be this easy. But part of Killua doesn’t mind. At least this time, the only person he’ll have to kill is the one he has to. No lying, no backstabbing. 

And he can go home without risking a blood curse, and celebrate his birthday in peace.

He still takes his time sneaking across the garden, boots falling silently as he steps through the shadows of the house. Taking a chance that nothing in this building is locked, he carefully presses open a window on the ground floor and drops into what looks like a large kitchen. A massive slab of wood serves as a table down the center of the room, with a collection of beautifully carved chairs arranged around it. The smell of herbs permeates the whole room, sinking into the wood and floors. 

There’s still no one in sight. 

There’s still only the woman’s humming filling the air with gentle wordless noise.

It’s too easy. It has to be.

Killua draws his sword as he creeps up the stairs, following the sound of the woman’s voice. He’ll know the queen when he sees her—Nanika’s visions have a habit of sticking, permanently, or at least until the job is done. Like how he knows the humming is the queen, even though he’s never heard her voice before today. How when he peers around the corner, he knows that the queen is the woman humming over a pile of papers. Her bright orange hair is swept back from her forehead, a simple braid circling her head where a ring made of silver and onyx rests on Silva Zoldyck’s. 

The humming stops. “You can stop creeping around my house and tell me why you’re here,” the queen says without looking up from her work. “If you want to petition for the Padokean spice merchants to stay another week, you’ll need to take it up with the portmaster.”

Killua doesn’t say anything. His grip on his hilt tightens for a moment, before relaxing. 

The queen flips over the page and starts on the next. “Also, no, I am not interested in selling port space, either. Tell your king he can rent like everyone else.”

Killua takes a final step into the doorway, and lunges, his sword lightning fast.

But the queen whirls, nearly as fast as Killua, and catches his strike on a short wavy blade of her own. Her snarl sparks with furious challenge. “And if you’re here to kill me,” she says, “you’d better try harder than that.”

Killua bounces back, narrowly avoiding the sweep of her knife. The queen is unarmored, but  holds the blade at her side, other arm lifted in well-practiced defense. Rather than wait for Killua to strike again, she darts forward, bare fist blurring in a fury as she tries to strike Killua’s solar plexus. But Killua is faster, and he catches her strike on his forearm, brushing it aside. She snarls even as she stumbles back, leaving herself open for Killua to strike again. This time, when she catches his blade on her knife, she almost doesn’t make it, only barely managing to slide out from beneath Killua’s strike. But her bare foot lashes out, catching him on the knee, and he feels the joint crumple.

She scoffs. “You’re not the first person to try to assassinate me,” she says. “Tell me who sent you, and I’ll send you home.”

Killua responds by punching her in the stomach with his hilted fist. 

To the queen’s credit, she keeps her knife up, enough that she manages to slash him across his forearm. The wavy blade cuts deep and sharp right through his jacket, leaving behind a wide erratic slice. Killua ignores the pain and raises his blade.

She glares up at him furiously, bright brown eyes wide and not scared at all. They look familiar. In fact, they look like—

They look like the young man from the market.

The chef, his assistant, everyone else, is going to lose their queen. 

Don’t get attached, Illumi commands in the back of his head, and Killua shakes the hesitation out of his limbs just in time to block the queen’s jab right at his heart. He catches her wrist with his bare hand, wrenching it out of place until she can’t hold on anymore. The wavy knife goes clattering away across the floorboards, out of sight and out of reach. 

She kicks him in the side again, shit, and Killua throws her to the ground. The back of her head thuds against the wood floor, and she crumples with a pained noise, trying and failing to get back up again.

If Killua moves now, he’ll kill her. 

This time, he won’t miss. 

The queen starts to move, and Killua brings the blade down in a single brutal strike.

Blood always smells the same—metallic and warm, life draining out in flows of red. Killua hadn’t realized he’d closed his eyes when he struck, but he feels the splash of blood across his face, sinking through the open slice on his sleeve and through the skin of his gloves. Messy. Father would be disappointed. It’s better if it’s quick, and clean, and no one fights back, and no one is gasping shakily on the floor—

He opens his eyes.

The queen lies at his feet, still alive. She has a hazy, almost drunken grin on her face, and her arm is still raised from where it connected with Killua’s sword, blood flowing freely from its stump. Her dismembered hand lies just out of reach. And she’s laughing.

“You should have killed me,” she says. A gust of wind blows up from the ocean, curling around her, almost as wild as her eyes. Outside, a massive storm darkens the sky, clouds near-black and crackling with energy. The air tastes of lightning, and thunder, and danger, and sudden fear jolts down Killua’s spine. 

What had Milluki said? Cursed storms and magic pirates?

Killua’s eyes widen. “What—”

“I said,” the queen says, and her voice reverberates in the stormwall. “You should have killed me when you had the chance.”

She lifts her hand and spits a word, and a wind like a hand bellows up the stairs and throws Killua out the window.

He lands heavily in the garden, nostrils filling with herbs, bouncing once and hitting the building’s wall. At least the ground’s soft. But he dropped his sword somewhere between the second story and the dirt, and he does not have time to look for it before the storm hits. It whirls around the sky, a cyclone of pitch-black clouds centered right over the house. If Killua didn’t know any better, he’d say that it was only on the house, dropping almost to the ground as though trapping him in the eye of a storm.

He clamors over the wall, bad knee jolting with pain and a little voice screaming at him to run, just in time for a wall of rain to come crashing down between him and the jungle.

Stepping out of the rain, as though made from stormclouds and landslides, is the young man from the seafood shop. But instead of a stack of plates, he holds a brutally sharp sabre, blade short and thick and slightly curved up from its guard.

He takes in Killua, waterlogged and covered in blood, and his bright brown eyes go wide. “You’re—” he starts, and then his expression narrows with fury. “It would have been easier if you’d tried to kill me in town.”

“Why would I do that?” Killua says. “I’m only here for the queen, not an assistant fish fry.”

The young man grins with all of his teeth, any amusement from earlier washed away by unrestrained anger. “I’m Gon Freecss,” he says. “You tried to kill my mom.”

He’s the prince. In about the stupidest response Killua could have, he tries to rub some of the queen’s blood out of his eyes. But it doesn’t budge. If anything, the rain is making it worse, seeping into his face and clothes in a bright red tattoo, making his skin crawl. 

Blood curse, Nanika had promised. It was always a blood curse.

Shit shit shit gods fucking shit. For all Killua knew, the blood was going to kill him from the inside out. 

“I don’t care about who’s next in line,” he says, and takes half a step towards the storm wall. He had to get out, had to get home, or else— 

“You should care,” the prince of Whale Island says. “Because if you’d killed me first, the storm wouldn’t have come for you.”

Killua barely has time to draw his knives before Freecss is on him.

Maybe it’s the panic worming its way out of Killua’s stomach, or the sharp pain in his knee, or the blood curse scratching at his face. Maybe it’s the resolute fury in Freecss’s eyes. Either way, the prince moves nearly as fast as Killua, hacking at the assassin with brutal short slashes. Killua manages to block all of them, barely, boots slipping in the torrential mud. The prince is good enough to make Killua work if he was in good condition, and between the rain and the blood and the knee, they’re all but equally matched. 

Killua finally blocks a blow and shoves Freecss back, the prince leaving himself open. Killua presses his advantage in height and speed by kneeing the other man in the chest. Freecss coughs out a pained curse, and he tumbles back, mud covering his skin and his long braid. Killua follows, slashing out half-blind with his knives, and he feels his blades connect as the prince bounces away. Another splash of blood, this time on a bare hand. This time, Killua feels it sink in, painting his pale skin the color of rust.

Freecss has a slash on his cheek and shoulder, Killua’s wild strike having gotten him on bare skin. The weight of the blade also caught the prince’s braid, which droops tangled and waterlogged across his brown face, half-covering his eyes. Freecss curses again, something foul, and simply slices his sword through his hair. The rest of his braid lands in the mud with a heavy thump.

The prince wipes a streak of blood off his face, not seeming to care that the wound continues to flow freely. “I’m going to kill you,” he says, voice low as thunder.

Killua has fought soldiers and mercenaries and assassins, from the weakest to the most skilled. He’s been tired, fought for hours in the snow and sleet, wherever Father has asked. He’s fought with half the bones in his hand broken, with his legs immobilized by ice. But then, he’d been ready. He’d known what to expect. He hadn’t been fighting a storm at the same time he was fighting a prince. Freecss presses ceaselessly, forcing Killua back until his foot hits the wall around the queen’s home. The prince’s home. He can’t go any further back.

The prince’s eyes glint in the storm, and he slashes the sabre across Killua’s front. 

And Killua’s leg slips out from under him.

The mud carries him stumbling out of range of the prince’s slash, but also costs him one of his knives. Killua staggers to his feet, trying in vain to rub the blood off his face. All he gets is mud, and rain, and more blood. A callous on his hand must have ripped in the fight.

Oh. And his jacket is cut open across his front. Distantly, he can feel blood dribbling down his chest, starting at the shoulder and cutting towards his side. That should hurt more than it does. Even his leg doesn’t hurt so much anymore, a dull throb beneath the rain.

He’s tired.

Freecss snarls—just like his aunt, a small part of Killua notices—and slices the sabre straight down through the air. 

Static gathers in the air, bright and sharp, and Killua realizes he’s going to die.

“Sorry, Alluka,” he says. The words are lost under the wind and rain.

Then Killua is struck by lightning.

And everything is white.

[adz]

i’m thinking about Lone Star by Sun Kil Moon and how there’s something oddly comforting about an older cis straight dude not plugged into pop culture sorta ineptly expressing solidarity, love, and respect for trans people. i assume he hasn’t read any blog posts or essays or whatever explaining gender identity, he just gets that you should treat people with kindness, and it’s encouraging to imagine there are many more people like that

[in-tua-deep]

Ok so imagine that instead of running away as a kid, Five stays. However when Ben is supposed to die, it's Five instead and so Ben lives but Five's now a ghost and only Klaus can see him. What do you think would be the reason Five ends up dying, and how do you think the others would react?

OOF you just come into my house?? and hit me with that?? absolutely illegal

So Five stays. Five stays and they’re what, fifteen? They go on a mission, and one of them doesn’t come home.

It was supposed to be Ben. It wasn’t.

Five can jump through space, can warp into position, he’s frightening adept at it since he abandoned time travel and focused entirely on improving everything else he could about himself. He’s very very good at his job, and he’s the only one that notices something is about to happen

Maybe Ben has lost control of his powers, and Five is the only one to notice. Five sees Ben tearing himself apart and realizes that he’s the only one who can get close enough to knock Ben out, so he jumps and he manages but he’s not quite fast enough and Ben is out and the tentacles are retreating but not before one can grab him and hurl him into the wall with a sharp crack and then - darkness.

Maybe it’s not Ben’s powers at all. Maybe it’s a bank robber they didn’t account for, one who is frightened and has a gun and who has seen these terrible frightening children murder their fellows and they have a spouse and children and they don’t want to die here over money so they pull up their gun and they take the shot (at Ben, at the biggest danger) and Five sees them from the corner of his eye and without even thinking about it he - jumps. In front of Ben. He takes the bullet because Ben is the best of them, is the kindest of them, and he doesn’t have a single consideration for his own life only for Ben’s.

Maybe it’s something different, but no matter what it is the facts remain the same: Five sees a danger, Five is the only one who can reach his brother in time, Five acts without even thinking, Five dies

Five pops up again, gasping and realizing very quickly that he’s dead. He’s incorporeal, he’s standing at the scene of his own murder, people pass through him when he tries to get attention. But it’s established in the show that they can use their powers as ghosts so Five does what he does best: he jumps. He goes home. He realizes that one of his siblings can see ghosts, and he finds Klaus.

And Five isn’t Ben. He isn’t soft, he’s always been hard angles and sharp words - so when Klaus hesitates to tell the others about Five, Five offers proof. Various pieces of blackmail he’s gathered on the others over the years just in case, things that Klaus would never know. He bugs Klaus into calling a family meeting without Reginald and makes Klaus translate his comments because he’ll be fucking damned if Ben blames himself for Five’s choices. That’s not allowed to happen.

“But Klaus, I thought you couldn’t see ghosts when high?” One of them ask, because they aren’t blind and they know Klaus does drugs to deal with his powers.

“I mean, it’s Five.” Klaus says despondently, looking at where Five is waving his hand through Luther’s head with a fascinated stare, “If anyone could decide to defy all the rules it’s fucking him.” and they accept that because of course they would

and because this is me and i make the rules in my aus I say that this brings them closer together as a whole because Five isn’t Ben, he isn’t content just interacting with Klaus. He doesn’t stick to Klaus’s side by glue, he’s floating through the halls of the manor and then pops up in Klaus’s room like “Hey bitch go to Vanya’s room she’s sad and I want to give her the book on music theory that’s under my bed so up an’ at ‘em you get to me my legs”

“what if i don’t want to?” Klaus asks, only once

“then you get to hear the dulcet tones of me singing the song that’ll get on your nerves until you do” Five threatens, with a look that says it is NOT an empty threat so Klaus hops to

Five pushes at the boundaries of what he can do as a ghost. Ben can pick up books in the show, right? Five pick up books and throws them. He shakes cabinets when he’s angry. He’s basically a weak poltergeist with a very limited ability to interact with his surrounding - maybe he can only interact with objects he had a connection with in life? But in the mansion there are plenty objects he has enough of a connection with to manipulate SO the whole family gets to deal with shit being thrown at them by an irritable Five

Five debates haunting the shit out of Reggie but Klaus begs him not to, because then their dad would just make Klaus try control Five or blame him for it, so Five deals with just making sarcastic comments whenever Reginald is talking and also petty shit like,, giving him bunny ears or sticking his limbs through Reginald’s chest or hell even just gently breakdancing while Reggie is lecturing and Klaus has to really fucking try to not bust out laughing which is its own issues

Klaus gets special training in the mausoleum, and Five gets to go with. Five doesn’t know how to help with this, and maybe in another world Ben curls up next to Klaus and tries to softly comfort him but that’s never been Five’s style. He yells. He’s gonna be the SCARIEST FUCKING GHOST FIRST OF ALL HOW DARE THESE GHOSTLY LOSERS TRY AND FREAK OUT HIS BROTHER. Five is gonna find out whether a ghost can kill another ghost by being a a rabid chihuahua at these ghosts. He’s going to sing backstreet boys songs at the top of his fucking lungs to drown out these weirdos and make Klaus laugh. Maybe he jumps out of the room and jumps back with a flashlight or a book or something else in the manor that he can interact with, to keep Klaus entertained

Five has always had the attitude of being proactive about these things

Five goes on missions with them, Luther makes a dumb fucking plan and gets shivers down his spine and is immediately like “Klaus tell Five to stop sticking his limbs in my body” “Five says he will when you stop having little bitch ass plans” “I’m pretty sure he didn’t say that” “Actually that was a direct quote and also he’s flipping you off right now”

They get older. Klaus gets taller. Diego’s voice drops. Luther packs on more muscle. Five stays the same.

He’s dead, of course he wouldn’t grow. 

That doesn’t stop him from yeeting books off the shelves in a tantrum when he realizes that he’s doomed to be the shortest of the siblings except for Vanya for all eternity. 

(”Klaus what the fuck is wrong with Five now?” Diego asks. It’s the middle of the night. Books are flying off the shelves. Klaus is so tired, so very tired. “Five has realized that he is dead.” “…Yes?” “Dead people do not grow.” “Just say it Klaus.” “Five has realized he’s not going to get taller and is permanently fifteen and is angry about this.” “…alright well good luck with that, I guess.”)

They’re on a mission. They’re on a mission and Five is the ultimate lookout because he isn’t stopped by little things like walls or people seeing him or whatever. Five sees something about to happen, and he yells and something happens and Klaus’s hands are blue and Five zips through space and reaches his sibling (let’s say Diego why not) and he pulls even though he knows he’ll go right through but the guy is right there and he can’t watch his brother die and - 

Five does not go through Diego. Five pulls Diego to the side and the blow that should have killed him misses, and Diego lives, and Five touched him.

(Five is the scariest ghost around, and the other ghosts haven’t been bothering Klaus - so he’d been weaning himself off of the drugs for a while now, Five often needed him to do things that were difficult to do when drugged out of his mind and Klaus figured it was an even trade for Five scaring off the other ghosts so - he’s sober)

Diego has a knife, and he killed the guy, but his eyes are locked with Five’s the entire time because he can see Five. 

the whole family is shocked, even when Klaus gasps and the blue from his hands vanishes and so does Five to everyone but him. they look at each other and just stare. 

“tell luther if he tells dad i’m going to flood his bathroom again” five says, just a little hysterically. “what the FUCK klaus” says the rest of the family

they get home, and somehow Reginald finds out and he has a whole speech about Number Four’s potential and shit and the fact that he can summon Number Five and how perhaps it wasn’t as much of a loss as he thought if Five was still around as a ghost and later they all gather in one of the rooms which has become a commonplace occurrence when Five wants a family meeting and he’s always been willing to pull the ‘dead’ card

(before they gather, Klaus and Five sit in Klaus’s room practicing making Five corporeal and the first thing he does is hurl himself into Klaus’s arms and hug him. Because he’s still 15, he hasn’t touched anyone else since he died and his inability to touch his siblings hurt no matter how many times he poked fun of it by walking through them)

so they have a meeting, and blue glows across Klaus’s hands and Five is visible and the first thing Five says to his family in years is - “Me and Klaus are leaving, who’s coming with?”

Because they’re almost eighteen now, close enough to leave and not have it look too suspicious. And maybe Five didn’t run this plan by Klaus first because Klaus is shocked but Five doesn’t even blink because - Dad knows. Dad is going to want to train Klaus further and experiment with his powers and if that fucking mausoleum is any indication then Reggie has no idea how Klaus’s powers work or how to train them without hurting Klaus. And also Five has spent years now being technically out from under his dad’s thumb, there’s no way he’s sliding back under it

maybe luther protests, but Five is just like “Look, if Dad makes Klaus make me corporeal in his vicinity i’m going to snap his neck simple as that. I’m a vengeful ass ghost, okay? What’re you gonna do about it? Kill me twice?”

and they’re closer than in the original timeline. Five has floated through the halls and seen every instance of them being sad and made Klaus intervene - everyone in this room has had Klaus pull them close and hug them or listen to their problems or give them company or provide them with random books that Five probably picked out - and and and they all care for each other and know each other more than before. And Five includes Vanya, so she’s always there and Five WILL pull the dead card to keep her there because he wants her there and - 

they all agree. Diego is instantly in, he was planning on ditching as soon as he turned 18 anyway. Ben is in, because he’s close with Klaus and with Five. Vanya hesitantly pledges her support, because she’s so tired of Reginald calling her ordinary. Allison shrugs and says she’s in because it’s not like she wasn’t also planning on leaving when she was old enough, okay? Luther is shocked they’re all willing to ditch so easily but… at the same time… Five and Klaus have, over the years, opened his eyes to more than one glaring issue with their father so… tentatively he’s like “okay, i guess someone has to be the leader”

and they gather what they can, and they leave, they leave reginald a note which basically lets him know they’re leaving willingly and not to look for them or anything since they’re almost 18 anyway etc etc. and they go out into the world

they get jobs! they support each other! and maybe the shitty apartments that are all they can afford are too small for 8 people to share, but at least rent goes 7 ways (and it’s not like Five eats or anything) and they can shove blankets and pillows on the floor in front of their shitty TV and eat their shitty pizza and laugh as they watch all the movies they were never allowed back home

Luther gets a job as a mechanic, because he’s always been good at things like that. He remembers wanting to be an astronaut as a kid. He remembers studying rocket ships with wide eyes and putting together model planes and he’s good with his hands and strong and he’s surprisingly good at it. His boss definitely knows Luther is a runaway but has a soft spot for him and is full of gruff advice and gentle praise that Luther flourishes under.

Diego decides to try for the academy with the support of his siblings behind him, and he doesn’t drop out. He meets Eudora and the others all tease him about it. There has been at least one occasion that Five followed him to the academy without Diego’s know how and then told Klaus all about Diego’s awkward flirting

Allison gets into the theater scene and tries out for parts that she gets without even rumoring anyone. Because at the end of the day, she’s good - she’s a good actor. She ends up getting some small parts in movies as well, and the others proudly go see her in theaters and have any movie with her as even a background character in a place of pride on their shelves.

Klaus isn’t ambitious like the rest of the siblings, but he ends up working in a yarn shop run by several old ladies who he’s pretty sure adopted him the moment he said about not having parents in the interview. They teach him know to knit and let him do it between customers at the register. Five likes to run around the yarn shop and try bat balls of yarn off the counters like an asshole cat in between suggesting patterns and critiquing Klaus’s yarn choices. Eventually, Klaus sets up Five with his own set of knitting needles and the old ladies look at the needles clacking and apparently knitting by themselves and Klaus ends up telling them about his dead 15 yr old brother because I mean. He’s from the Umbrella Academy it’s not exactly like he’s an unknown with his powers, and that means that the old ladies absolutely fuss over this child ghost and help him with his technique

(that year, all of his siblings receive knitted socks and hats and scarves from Five on their shared birthday and Five is so pleased to be able to contribute something to the family again, even if they’re all still at a loss of what to give their ghostly brother)

Ben ends up going to college and going on to medical school because he deserves it and he gets scholarships to help out but all of the siblings chip in to put the siblings who want to through school, and Ben gets a part time job as a barista or something between his demanding classes but at the end of the day he wants to help people (he doesn’t want to be useless, like he was the day that Five died, wants to be able to save lives instead of just taking them - because the Horror doesn’t define who he is, and it never has)

Vanya goes to school as well!! She’s a violin prodigy! and they leave without telling their dad beforehand so she goes to get her pills refilled only to find out that they don’t have these pills actually what the fuck are they I’m assuming they’re special and Reginald supplied them somehow idk, and it’s not like the family can afford medication in THIS economy anyway so maybe she just stops taking them and hopes she can handle her anxiety without

and that’s how they find out Vanya has powers oops

OH you know what Vanya absolutely trains her powers with Five and Klaus making him corporeal because, as Five so eloquently puts it when they drive into the countryside, “What’s she gonna do? Kill me twice? as if” and that’s how Vanya learns how to control her powers and she still gets to go to school and she gets to join the orchestra and be first chair because fuck it she’s a goddamn prodigy and passionate about her craft and i love her, she deserved the world

they all grow and they change and they stick together as well as they can with all their varying schedules. they grow, except for Five who is still fifteen years old and who managed to save his family at the cost of his own life. 

But it’s okay. He hands Luther wrenches at his work and freaks out the other mechanics. He talks to ghosts for Diego so that Klaus doesn’t have to (because Klaus has always has a weaker stomach for blood and things than Five, and Five is dead he can see ghosts too that’s a thing). He haunts Allison’s sets until she puts her hands on her hips and scolds him about messing with her co-workers. He knits in Klaus’s shops and shows off socks and scarves to little old ladies with a pride he isn’t sure what to do with. He helps Ben study by holding up flashcards even if he isn’t visible. He goes to all of Vanya’s rehearsals and prods at the harps and pianos with curious ghostly fingers. 

He’s a constant presence in their lives, and they love him. And he loves them.

Five doesn’t leave. Ben lives. Five dies. Everything changes, but the one thing that will never change is that they are a family. No matter what, they have each other - in life and in death.

[ieatmorecrispsthanyou]

1919, nineteen again

This story was written by me for a short story prize. Disclaimer: I am basing all depictions of mental illness on research. Feel free to correct me and no offence in any way is meant.

I want to kill her.

Right now.

Down on paper, it doesn’t sound so bad.  

Oh, if you could hear the meaning behind those words. Contrast the carnage, the horrific devil-thoughts, the war inside tearing my mind apart - sirens and screams, bare perfect skin ripped, raw ugliness… visions of me, maiming my revenge, the velvet blood dribbling down my chin and into my mouth as I smile - on paper the words seem innocent and wipe-clean. Psychosis is nothing!

It isn’t. It won’t be. It never was.

I must steel myself, or they will come again. They are not justice - nobody on earth can escape them, even with a good alias and rich parents and the miasma of apparent safety. Believe me, I know.

The dresses are so pretty. Vikman and Co, department store and dressmakers for the elite of the elite. She would wear the store if she could.

Suddenly she is everywhere. Long black hair twisted into conservative ringlets you ache to ping; her face a picture of careful nonchalance and endearing disdain; her lithe body clothed in this dress, reaching down to her feet - no, this skirt (see her twirl?) - this necklace, the beads draped where her heart should be….

I close my eyes. Snapshots of a past long buried are resurfacing, and I am drowning in pain once more.  

Words whispered and tears shed

Control yourself, no one should see you, I wish you were gone

Don’t go yet, I love you

No one would love you, you’re insane

I will never leave you

Don't touch me there stop it you’re hurting me

The hopelessly hopeful feeling that… this is all right and perfectly normal after all

It isn’t.

…she will be gone someday

She won’t be.

….this is all my imagination, why did I leave? Was it love after all?  

It never was.

I can see them creeping in… I must run now before they catch me. Big men and wolves and guns who want to lock me up, you won’t get me again and what are you doing leave me alone go away oh no not again why is everyone staring  

I’m at her house, six years since I was first there, two months since I left. It’s the dead of night and wounds don’t heal.

Mr and Mrs Kilner needed someone to teach the children, someone schooled and “strictly no debauchery”. They could rely on me, the fresh-faced young tutor: short brown hair, impeccable credentials and no experience. No family to turn to, no church or synagogue teachings to know right from wrong. I was only nineteen.

Little Jim and Eva, aged five and seven. How I loved to teach them the world - so attentive, never rude or loud, perfect small citizens. They grew horns sometimes, but were kind enough to never point them out.

She was…. she was their elder sister. Out of a marriage lasting just one month. He had been killed in the Great War. Yes, she liked to talk about him and his fate until my hands came over my ears, exactly where she wanted them. I was lucky not to have lost more, only my sanity, and didn’t she know it!

Just three years older than me but so much more experienced. I can see her weaving spells now, binding me with her charms. A smile. A wink. A word or two of comfort when they were following me again, scaring them off. Her parents saw nothing because they were never there. Did I make them up?  

I practically fell into her arms and she built a cage around me with my delusions and her coercions until I was trapped in my mind and her heart.  

Thinking about what happened next tips me over the edge.

So I don’t.

I knock and  

she

opens

I have a knife. Does she see? She may do. I don’t care.

We’re inside and she says my name, each syllable distinct and melting on her tongue. I can barely see her.

“Hon-or John-son how-nice-to-see-you”

I copy her because they are here again and they will take me away, why can’t they just leave me alone?

“Ma-ry Kil-ner rem-em-ber me”

I take out my knife and the visions cloud me again but it’s fine because she’s there and she carries me gently over to the chaise-lounge.  

She leans over and for a moment I think she wants to kiss me. Quite apart from how wrong this is in so many impossible ways, I still have my knife and I -

She has my knife now.

Why is she crying?

“Honor....”

Now I want to cry. But the hatred is too strong, pushing all other emotions away until there’s just fear and confusion and a burning.

“Y-you...”

She is still crying, opposite me in a beautiful chair.

“Honor, it’s me, Mary.  Can you hear me? When this happened last time I had to call the police but they said they were going to take you away and I couldn’t bear that...”

There was... a last time? The throbbing in my head is too great, I can’t hear her properly. This is hurting me -

“Honor, I would never hurt you and seeing you like this is killing me, all I want is for you to remember, to come back to me again...”

The throbbing is getting louder and there’s panic laced underneath it, because they are back and they are coming to take me away...

But her voice is clear and dragging me back into reality.

“Honor, the children miss you so much... little Jim and Eva cry for Miss Johnson, but you never visit...”

“You.... you put spells on me and told me you loved me but it wasn’t real and you hurt me so much and -”

She is sobbing with her head in her hands. I am crying too because the pain is back and the memories are swimming and bobbing before my eyes like a river but there’s new memories too and everything is so confusing and I just want to sleep...

“Honor listen to me, please Honor, I know you’re in there, please – come - back – to - me”

It’s all hazy but I can hear her and I nod even though I want to vomit.

“Honor, you’re very sick, and you’ve always been sick. The only person who hurt you is yourself. You say I say those things but I’ve only ever loved you and you must know that. I know you hear voices and see things and I’ve tried my best but I had to let you go because -”

I want to tell her to stop, there’s a voice telling her to stop – is it coming from me?

“You say you’re insane, you say I said no-one would love you, but it breaks my heart because you’re not insane, just ill, and all I want to do is take care of you and love you forever, but I couldn’t.. I can’t... after...after you tried to hurt Father...”

My mind is white noise but there’s something struggling to the surface.  

That man she called Father... he tried to touch me. Eva watched which is how I know it’s real. I tried to tell Mary but she wouldn’t hear it and after that everything is out of reach and far away and I’m up in space again -

When I come to, there are voices but not the ones I fear. A soft, lilting tongue saying words like “She’s with me, Mother, it’s ok, she’s better now” and another harsher tone, words grating, “She tried to kill your father. She’s criminally insane. She wants to kill you, or maybe you don’t remember last month?”  

A pause.

“She can stay, but you must make sure she’s...safe”

The sound of a door.

Mary back again, eyes glinting.

I don’t like this.

But when she smiles, there’s no hint of knives. Maybe... maybe I need help. Maybe I’m really, really sick and broken and I need to be locked up for everyone’s safety -

“I love you. I will always love you, and you will always be safe here.”

We embrace. I remember how it felt to love her and I really try.

The scene dissolves. Did it really happen? I can never tell.

I’m in a room. I think it’s a hospital but I’m not sure. Sparse and bare and bars on the window, a teddy bear on my narrow bed. Everything is white and I’m not alone.

A girl, thin and pale, no more than a ghost. Her name is Evelyn and she won’t eat.  

A man washing over and over again for a cleanness that never comes. The War made Kieran like this, and I want to comfort him but I am still somehow too dirty.

A woman with a misshapen face, the most normal of them all. Nothing is wrong with Hannah, the authorities just don’t like her looks. She and I are the closest to friends this place allows.

And over there on another bed, is my Mary.

Why is she in hospital clothes?

And why is she screaming and crying and insisting her name is Alice and-

Oh my God.

I remember now oh my God oh my God

She’s Mary but sometimes she’s Alice and I can never tell and I was mad before but this sent me to hell -

The last words I hear before I black out are “Electroconvulsive therapy trials”.

[icecubelotr44]

Trouble with a Capital ‘T’ (3/who knows)

It liiiiiiives! Whumpetition Entry 3: Bedridden

Still basically just another excuse to whump the Jones brothers, after all.

Chapter One | Chapter Two

ao3 | ffn

"I suppose the real question is, 'who the bloody hell are you?" The girl made a startlingly accurate mockery of his accent and Liam blanched for a moment.  She had this look on her face that reminded him so much of...  His thoughts trailed away from his little brother when the girl's face fell.  "You two are really hurt, aren't ya?"

Something clicked in his head, and he didn't really understand why.  "Tilly?"

She nodded automatically, not really looking at him, but at his little brother.  The look on her face as it crumpled, the devastation there, it all started to make a strange kind of sense as to how they'd gotten into this mess in the first place.

"How did you find us, lass?"  He didn't understand how she'd gotten here, how she'd found them.

If she would help them.

"I just looked for what wasn't there," she replied cryptically, not taking her eyes off his brother.  She looked so familiar.

"What?"

She smiled, but it was a sad thing.  "I knew he'd come looking for me.  He'd never leave me out in the cold, not on a night like this.  I've spent colder nights, you know, out in the forest.  But not here."

Liam still didn't understand.

"When he didn't show up, I came looking.  But he's not waking up..." she trailed off, turning her tortured glance towards him.  "I don't even know if he's really awake."

Liam blinked, not understanding.

"Are you awake? You're not supposed to be if you are," she riddled again.

He didn't know what made him understand.  If it was her mannerisms or just a remnant of the curse.  If he'd ever known who she was or if he'd never met her before.  He didn't understand how he knew - just that he knew.

"Aye, luv, I'm awake.  And so are you."

She nodded.  "He named me Alice.  After your-"

"After our mother,” Liam finished.  “Of course he did. Alice, we-"

"You need help.  I'll be back in a tiff!"

And she was off, her footsteps muffled in the snow and gone so suddenly that Liam wasn't entirely sure that she wasn't a figment of his imagination.

Did he have a niece to worry about now, as well?

Liam twisted around, trying to peer out the back window of the SUV to watch Alice scamper off, seemingly unperturbed by the blizzard swirling around her.  All too quickly, she was lost to the whiteout conditions and Liam couldn’t do anything more for her.

Besides, he had his little brother to worry about, still.

Killian was shivering more violently now, tiny little whimpers escaping from him though his face was still slack with unconsciousness.

Liam shifted again, moving closer to his brother and trying to share what body heat he could.  Killian was terrifyingly pale, his eyelashes sooty against his cheeks.  There wasn't much else he could do, what with the way the world was tilting around him and the way his own shivering was lighting a fire in his arm.  Neither one of them was in any state of health, both of them needed help - at least an hour ago, if not sooner.  There was nothing he could do other than try and keep them both alive until Alice could get back with help.

Gods, his niece had better hurry.

His niece.  He had a niece.  Killian had sired a child.  One who, by all accounts (from what he could see in her eyes anyway) had been raised well and loved thoroughly.  Liam smiled a little - Killian hadn't had the best role model in their father in how to parent, but Liam wasn't so blind as to think that Brennan had any influence over them anyway.  No, Liam knew that any ability to parent that Killian had grown into, it was solely due to his little brother's strength of character.

Liam had never been more proud of Killian.

Never.

Of course, he couldn't tell him that.  Rogers wouldn't understand, may be drawn to Ali- Tilly like Jewell had been to Kil- Rogers, but didn't have a daughter.

He'd have to wake him up, and soon.

Alice needed her father, and Liam needed his little brother.

Killian needed him, too, even if he didn't know it yet.

Liam sighed, resisting the urge to pull Killian forward and check on the wound in his back.  He knew the pressure was better for it, but not being able to see if the bleeding had stopped was terrifying.  He wanted to control it, wanted to control everything about this situation. Especially now that he'd inexplicably gotten his little brother back and both sets of memories in his head were shouting from the rooftops in a combination of relief and fear.

Gods, what if he lost him again?

Liam was sure this wasn't another curse, that there wouldn't be a magical do-over if his brother died here in this car.  He didn't understand how Killian was here, how he wasn't long ago returned to the sea to rest, how he was here.

He didn't bloody care.

Killian was here and Liam was going to make damned sure that he was going to stay that way.

"Liam?" Killian's whisper rang through the SUV and nearly made Liam shout in startled concern.

Put a lid on the cursed memories, Jones, he thought hastily.  "Rogers?"

Killian sighed sadly and Liam began to hope.  It all came flooding back to him, the last few hours in the car, the stilted conversations, calling him Liam, calling him brother.

He turned hopeful, tortured eyes up to where Killian was looking at him blearily.  He had to try.  He could always blame it on stress if he were wrong.

"Ki..." he cleared his throat, his heart nearly choking him.  "Killian?"

Startled, frightened eyes met his own gaze, Killian looking at him with such hope that Liam knew it already.

"Little brother?"

Killian very clearly wasn't breathing, shaking with tears checked in the corners of his eyes.  "Liam?" he whispered, sounding nearly terrified.

Liam nodded, reaching out to clasp a hand over Killian's knee, tears stinging his own eyes.

"I..." Killian started, "I need..."

"What do you need, Killian?  Help is coming." There would be time for explanations later.

But the guarded look didn't leave.  "I need you to tell me your last name."

Oh.  Right.  Killian was just as worried as he was.

Liam smiled gently, hand coming up to cup the back of Killian's neck.  "Glory for the Jones brothers, aye Killian?"

Liam Jones had spent centuries in Neverland, dreaming of the day he'd find out what had happened to his little brother.  He had spent the first few years imagining that he could escape and reunite with Killian. Had pictured the reunion so many times, locked in that godsdamned cage in that bloody tree.

Had expected tears, hugs, disbelief, anger.  Anything and everything.  Or so he thought.

Liam Jones had never expected this.

Killian pulled sharply away from him, plastering himself against the door and stifling a cry as he jostled some injury that Liam wanted to catalogue and fix.  He started shaking his head 'no', scrabbling for the door handle.

He was shaking.

Violently.

"Killian?" Liam didn't know what to do.  What was wrong.    How to fix this.

Was it because Killian had thought him long dead? Liam had thought the same about him and was just relieved to find he got another chance with his little brother.  Was it because he'd abandoned Killian when he was still so young, so vulnerable? Was it superstition? Was it...  he just didn't know.

"No.  No no no.  Nonononono.  You can't be awake.  You're not supposed to be awake.  Jewell was safe.  You're not Jewell anymore.  You're Liam and she's going to come for you.  I can't protect you from her.  Not now, not here.  Not like this." Killian's arm rose, his prosthetic running jerkily through his hair as he muttered maniacally.

"Killian, it's all right," he soothed.  "Whatever it is, we'll figure it out.  It's the two of us again.  The two of us together, Kil- it's all right, just calm down."

Killian kept muttering, eyes wild, tears in his eyes.  "I can't lose you again."

"You're not going to, little brother.  Come on now, it's all right.  Just slow down.  I don't understand." Liam reached out hesitantly, telegraphing his intentions before he laid his hand, palm up, next to Killian's right hand.  He wouldn't have to move it much, wouldn't risk pulling on his shoulder, he just had to-

Killian clutched his hand desperately, holding on for dear life.

Killian's fingers were freezing around his own, making Liam stare at their hands in something approaching wonder.  They were both in the same car, had been in the elements for the same amount of time. And yet.  Killian was bloody freezing.  God, how long had Liam been out cold in the back, secure under the blankets they should have been sharing. How much blood had his little brother lost from that gash in his back? What other injuries was he hiding, did Liam need to be worried about shock, should he be-

"Li-" Killian tried to speak, shaking violently and staring at Liam imploringly.  Gods, he looked so bloody young, like those first days on Silver's ship, begging Liam to make it right, to keep him safe, to lead him.

"It's all right, little brother," Liam assuaged, gentling his voice as if speaking to a frightened stray.  "I've got you now. Just relax, Killian, it's going to be all right."

Killian's tremors eased fractionally, leaning almost imperceptibly towards Liam, his hand still contracted almost painfully around Liam's own fingers.  He looked even younger than he had a moment ago, seemingly caught between his terror and his natural tendency to follow where Liam led.

"Let's get you situated more comfortably, aye?" Liam reached out to ease Killian back around, wrapping his arm around his little brother's shoulders and tugging him close.  A quick check that the abdominal pad was still firmly in place and a sharp tug of the blankets to keep his brother warm, and Liam was more comfortable than he'd been in centuries - with Killian secure under his arm where he could keep him safe.

"Li'm," Killian slurred, the adrenaline waning and leaving him near boneless against Liam's side.  "You've gotta stay safe. I need you."

Liam shut his eyes against the pain, against the loss in his brother's voice and murmured softly into his hair.  "I've got you, little brother.  You're safe now."

Killian shook his head, but it was sloppy, not something Liam had ever associated with the young Lieutenant who had turned his life around so completely once Liam had bartered with a god for their freedom.  Liam's unease ratcheted up past worry and concern and into a nearly crippling fear. Alice needed to hurry up.  The ambulance needed to get here.  He needed to save his brother.

"'m safe.  Sh' doe'n't wan' me.  Already used me.  But sh' needs y'r heart, Li'm.  Please, brother. Stay safe.  Can' lose you 'gain." Killian tucked his head more firmly under Liam's chin, tightening his fingers as much as he was able as if this woman he was so afraid of would materialize in the SUV and steal Liam from under his nose.

His little brother was scared.  It wasn't an emotion Liam was used to seeing in his brother.  Even when they were small, Killian was brash and fearless.  Not even the cane nor the whip, not even the bloody cat could break his brother's hold on his temper.  Sure, he may have been afraid, and who wouldn't have been under the circumstances?  But he'd never looked it.

"I'll keep a weather eye out, Killian,” Liam vowed.  “I promise I won't leave you again.  Not again, little brother, I swear it.  I'm here."

Killian nodded, but his movements were slowed, his eyes when he looked up at his brother were glassy and unfocused.  "m cold, Li..." his words trailed off as he dropped his head back to Liam's chest, seizing up a moment as he shivered before going completely limp.

"Killian?" Liam questioned.  "Killian?!"

There was no answer.  He shook his brother hard, hoping beyond hope for some kind of response.

Killian flopped limply against his chest, his hand lax in Liam's.

"Killian!"

Liam tore the blanket from around his shoulders, shivering when the cold in the SUV assaulted him, but ignoring it as he wrapped the wool tightly around Killian.  The combine pad was still in place, pinned between Killian's shoulder and the backseat.  He could still smell the blood, though, far too cloying and pervasive in the air to be under control.  Was he bleeding from somewhere else? Was there something Liam couldn't fix? Was he going to lose Killian before he had a chance to find out how he was here? Pressing down harder on the wound, Liam did something he hadn't done since his mother had been dying in their seaside cottage.

He prayed.

In English, in Gaelic, to any god he could think of, any god he'd ever heard of.  Anyone and anything that would keep his brother with him.  Gods, he needed to go after Alice, make sure she-

"They're coming."

She came out of nowhere, he was half-convinced she was a ghost or a hallucination.  The thought came unbidden and nearly made Liam weep in fear - what if she was a hallucination? What if no one had gone for help? What if no one knew-

"Uncle Liam?"

Alice had managed to climb into the SUV through the driver's side door when he wasn't looking, her thin hand reaching around the tree branches resting on the console to reach for him and squeeze his knee in reassurance.

She was real.  Bloody hell, she was real and that meant help was coming.

"I'm all right, sweet.  You called the ambulance?"

She nodded.  "I found some service a little ways up the road.  Told them who you were.  They're all coming."

Liam did start crying then, tears slipping - unbidden - down his cheeks.

"Uncle Liam?"

"'m all right, little lass.  We're going to get your fath... gods, your father is awake, luv... we're going to save him."

She grinned, and he could see all of the attributes that Killian had passed down to her - and a little of their mother's looks, too - in her beaming face.

"Papa?" she whispered, tearing her gaze away from Liam to stare hopefully at her father.

Killian didn't so much as breathe too heavily, his chest rising and falling only slightly.  She called for him again and again, each time making Liam's heart clench just a little bit harder, making the tears fall faster down his cheeks.

"He'll...  he'll be all...  your father's strong, sweet.  He's stronger than I am.  He'll be all right." Liam wished it sounded more than an empty promise, cursed under his breath for even thinking that, and hugged Killian tighter.

Alice nodded sadly, her lower lip trembling as she turned glassy, wide eyes on him.  "I need him to come back."

"I do too, little one.  We'll be strong for him together, aye?"

Liam may not have known much about the relationship between his brother and his niece, but he knew this - Killian would rather die than leave his little girl alone and abandoned.  The least Liam could do for him was be strong for her.

Alice started to say something else, but stopped abruptly, her eyes wide.

It took a second longer, so focused as he was on the sound of Killian's breathing, but then he heard it, too.

Ambulance sirens.

He grinned at Alice, or rather at the back of her head as she scampered off again, out of the car and presumably up to the road to flag down the EMTs.

There was a flurry of activity then, men asking questions and taking vital signs and focusing on both of them until Liam waved them off.  He was fine, his arm could wait - Killian had done a fine job to stop the bleeding - and his brother needed them far more than he did.

Alice stood behind them, hopping from foot to foot and trying to stay out of the way.

There was a collar and gauze pads and...  gods what were they looking at on his leg? What had he missed? Then something orange and blue wrapped around whatever injury that was - Liam belatedly recognized the SAM splint that must be stabilizing a fracture.

And then they were moving Killian, out of the car and onto the longboard that they'd use to transport him up the hill and to a gurney.  To help.

One of the men came around the vehicle, pulling open the other door and fiddling with Liam's arm despite his protests.  He couldn't see Killian, couldn't hear Alice, needed to keep them safe.  He growled at the man until the EMT raised his hands in acquiescence and helped him out of the back seat.

The world went dark before Liam could take five steps away from his car.

***

He couldn’t have been out for long, just barely long enough for the EMTs to clearly panic and strap him to a backboard of his own - trussed up tighter than a mutineer to the mast awaiting sentence.  Liam struggled despite knowing it was useless, needing to get to his brother, needing to get-

“Please stop, Uncle Liam,” Alice begged from his side, kneeling in the snow and soaking her jeans.  He was caught by the unreasonable need to sit up and get her out of the snow.  Before he could demand that she stand up and get someplace warm, Alice reached out and tangled her fingers in his.  “Let them help you.”

There was something in her eyes - something his stomach rebelled against seeing seated there.  Fear.  She looked so frightened, so much like her father had as a little boy left alone in the dark.  Gods, she looked just like Killian when she-

Killian.

“Where’s your father?” Liam all but shouted, immediately groaning and trying to curl in on himself when the sound of his own voice set off every nerve ending in his head.  Tears leaked out of his eyes, unbidden, as the pain crescendoed and nearly took him under with it.  He had to stay with it, he had to find out about Killian, he had to…

When the backboard underneath him was lifted, the sickening feeling of weightlessness washed over him and sucked him back into unconsciousness.

Sniffling.  Quiet tears.  Steady beeping.  Constant whirring.  Muted footsteps.  Garbled Announcements.

Hospital.

But who was crying?

And how had he gotten from those icy woods to the hospital?

And where was his brother?

Killian shot up in the bed, regretting it immediately, but forcing himself to maintain his balance as he hunched over his lap and breathed through his nose.  Memories came crashing back - Liam Jones, his brother was awake and that meant he was in danger.  Gothel was out there and Killian had no idea what she wanted nor why she needed Liam for it, only that he would take her to the Underworld with him before he let that witch use his brother.

Even if it meant leaving his brother behind.

A nasty voice in the back of his head that had often let loose his temper whispered that turnabout was only fair pay.

Killian felt sick to his stomach just thinking about where that thought had come from.  He’d always known he wasn’t a good man, not like Liam. And he knew that Liam hadn’t meant to leave him.  He knew that.  But the fact remained that he’d been a lost boy for centuries, left to face the world alone because his brother was as stubborn and loyal as the day was long.

And Killian had suffered immeasurably and lost so much in that time.

No.  No, that wasn’t Liam’s fault.  His brother had died nobly, in pursuit of honor and everything that made him good.  Killian just didn’t measure up to that.

And probably never would.

But the fact remained that, no matter how much he couldn’t compare to his brother and would never be enough for that, he was a an utterly selfish bastard who would do anything and everything a chance to allow his brother to truly live.  Like he hadn’t had a chance to the first time around.

More sniffles, and shifting in the chair next to him.  “Are you really awake?”

Alice.

No.  Tilly.

Killian wasn’t sure if Gothel wanted Alice awake or not, but he was absolutely sure that he would protect her more vehemently than even his own brother.  And it was safer if she were still cursed.

Gods, at least the bloody curse that kept them apart didn’t seem to work here.  It was all he could do to stay sitting in that bed, barely conscious, and not vault himself into her arms and hold her close.  His daughter.

“Tilly?” he asked, tilting his head and ignoring the way the room spun in favor of making sure his baby girl was all right.

She was curled up in a chair, looking far too uncomfortable and far too bloody young - and old, they’d lost so much time together - huddled under a blanket and watching him.  She tried to smile, but her lower lip wobbled and only the barest reminder that she wasn’t his daughter in this realm kept him from sweeping her up like he’d done when she was young to soothe her.

“What’s the matter, Tilly?  Where’d you come from?”

Tilly shifted in the chair, turning the saddest eyes he’d seen on her in awhile - and that was saying something.  “I hate it when you call me that,” she whispered brokenly.

No.

Yes.  Could it be?

Killian was terrified to get his hopes up, but he wanted.  Oh gods, how much he wanted for her to know who he was.  

“Would you…” he began, ignoring how tremulous his own voice sounded.  “Would you prefer it if I called you Starfish?”

It was worth it.  Whatever pain he’d gone through up until this point was worth it to see that look on his daughter’s face before she launched herself out of the chair and into his arms.

“Papa!”

It hurt.  Everything hurt and he was partly sure that he was dying, the bruises on his chest and the jagged tear in his back and his bloody leg were all screaming for her to get off.  He didn’t care.  Even as the world started to spin around them and stars danced in his vision, even as monitors behind him screamed and his hands began to shake, Killian just held on tighter, hoping that Alice - Alice, by gods, it was Alice - didn’t notice how damp her hair was getting.

“You were asleep for a long time, Papa,” she mumbled into his chest, her own tears soaking his hospital gown.

“I know, my heart.  I’m so sorry.”  Killian tugged her impossibly closer, ignoring the way she sat on his leg in favor of muffling her quiet whimpers.

“Detective Rogers are you all- Hey!  I chased you out of here twice already.  I’m calling Security, Detective, don’t-”

“Don’t you dare!” Killian hissed, putting his hand up to shield Alice as if he could protect her in the state he was in.  The monitors continued to scream and the nurse continued to glare as everything grew hazy.

“Papa!” Alice cried again, hands grasping at his back and igniting more pain as she clutched his shoulders to keep him with her.  “Don’t leave me again!”

As his back hit the mattress and his shoulder erupted into an all-encompassing agony, Killian realized that he hadn’t even asked about Liam yet.

He didn’t have a chance before the pull of darkness claimed him.

***

It was quiet the next time he woke, the beeping of the monitors settling in the back of his mind even before he was aware that he was waking up.  There were quiet footsteps moving around his room, not stealthy but sure.

Alice, he thought.  She must be getting so bored; his girl was always on the move, always looking for her next adventure.  Ever since she’d been stuck in that tower, ever since they’d come to Washington, she was always moving.

“Starfish?” he mumbled, turning his head towards her as she stepped up to his bedside.  He’d open his eyes in just a moment, he was sure.

“Excuse me?” a voice said, startling Killian enough to open his eyes.

Not Alice.

The woman in scrubs stared at him like she wanted to hit a panic button somewhere, and she was certainly not his daughter.  Wasn’t Alice here?  Hadn’t she been just there a moment ago?  Didn’t he remember her knowing him?

“Was there a young woman here?” he asked, trying to push himself up and realizing, belatedly, that his right arm was strapped to his chest.  That hadn’t been like that before, he was sure of it.

Killian nearly toppled over trying for any other position than flat on his back.  There was a pillow keeping the injury to his back away from the mattress, but it wasn’t helping much.  The nurse huffed at him before steadying him and raising the head of the bed.

“Please, the young woman.  Where is she?”  Killian tried again once he was - more or less - sitting up.  He felt strangely naked beneath the blankets, the thin hospital gown doing little to protect him.  There was something about the leather he’d worn for centuries, as much practical protection as it was symbolic armor.

Some days he missed it.

“I don’t know who you’re talking about, Detective,” she told him, writing down the numbers on the monitor.  “I’ll let your doctor know you’re awake.  He should be in shortly.”

Killian watched, dumbstruck, as she strutted out the door.

Where was Alice?

Had she even been there in the first place?

Was any of it real?

Liam.

Killian kept being surprised at just how long it was taking him to remember his brother.  It was, he supposed, only fair - since Liam was supposed to have been dead for centuries and Alice was… gods, was she Alice or was she still Tilly?  It just all seemed so convenient to be given back his brother and his daughter in the span of a few… hours?  Days?  Weeks? How long had it been since the accident?

And where was his family?

Killian swung his legs around, letting them hang off the bed and getting his equilibrium before attempting to stand.

“Just how far do you think you’re going to get, Detective?”  Weaver’s voice had Killian spinning around and nearly toppling to the floor as the world spun around him.

Probably not weeks then.

Nausea assaulted him, making Killian clamp his eyes shut and clench his fist tightly in the sling that held it.  Gods, with neither of his hands available to… he was nearly helpless right now.

Killian slitted his eyes open when a rhythmic squeaking moved into the room.

Weaver had a wheelchair.

“I thought you might want to check on y- our captain,” was all he said as he gestured for Killian to sit.

Killian stared defiantly for a moment, loathe to show weakness in front of the crocodile.  They may not be the sworn enemies they once were, Alice going a long way towards reconciling both of them, but old habits died hard.

Practicality won out quickly however - that and fear of what Weaver was going to wheel him towards - and Killian slumped into the ancient wheelchair.  Weaver made quick work of silencing the monitors, detangling the wires, and hanging the IV on the chair back.  Clearly, he’d done this before.  Then they slipped out of the room with surprising stealth.

Killian wasn’t going to question how no one had come to stop them; he needed to see Liam.

“It’s not… pretty, Dearie,” Weaver warned when they snuck out of the elevator two floors above where Killian had been staying.  His partner flashed an id badge over the keylock to the ICU and wheeled Killian in as if they belonged there.

Killian nodded by reaction more than understanding.  He didn’t care what Liam looked like, Killian just needed to see that his brother was still with them.  He didn’t know what he’d do if he lost Liam again. He’d even take Jewell if that was all he got.

Killian Jones hadn’t gotten too many second chances in his long, long life.  He didn’t want to squander this one.

He should have taken better heed of what Weaver was trying to tell him.

Liam was in the room, all right.  He was hooked up to so many monitors with so many wires snaking underneath the blankets that Killian wondered if there was anything left of Liam at all.  But that wasn’t the worst of it.

As Killian nodded to Weaver to bring him closer to Liam’s side, his eyes were transfixed by the rise and fall of the ventilator - the even cadence of whooshing and sucking that breathed for his brother was hypnotic and terrifying.  He followed the path of the tube from the machine to his brother’s mouth and was caught up in the insane notion that he needed to pull it away from Liam in order for his brother to breathe.  It was secured completely, looking like someone had gagged Liam to keep him from crying out at the pain he must be in.

And then Killian looked further, cataloguing the paleness to Liam’s skin, the absolute lack of expression in his brother’s face, the… the tape that kept Liam’s eyes shut to the world.  It seemed like his big brother wasn’t even there, just a badly crafted caricature.

Killian reached out hesitantly, the fingers of his prosthetic slipping tentatively under his brother’s limp hand.  He managed enough control to tighten his grip imperceptibly, and for once was glad that there was no feeling in those fingers.  He could imagine that Liam’s hand was gripping his back, that his skin wasn’t cold to the touch, that he wasn’t going to lose his brother.

“Come back to me brother, please?”

tagging: @killian-whump @gilliangrissom @gusenitsaa @pirate-owl @nothingimpossibleonlyimprobable @ladyciaramiggles @cocohook38 @nonnyj @queen-mabs-revenge @eala-captian @crystalyte @kmomof4 @killianmesmalls @whumptober2018

[mianavs]

coming to conclusions

part 9 of Cathexis

a/n: hiiii i’ve been working on this update and haven’t done much else lol. it’s a long update but i didn’t want to split it. after this ill work on the stuff in my inbox :)

wc: 4.1k+

Cathexis

Expecting the unexpected was a concept that had been engrained into your psyche at a young age. It saved you countless of times during missions and only improved over time—at least until that fateful meeting with Illumi. Since then, your actions grew erratic and the precautions you once took when dealing with the unknown were forgotten. When it came to Illumi, you were a reckless mess and it was that recklessness that led to your current situation—Illumi’s lips pressed against yours.

Maybe it was the adrenaline that coursed through your veins whenever Illumi was nearby. Or perhaps it was your inexperience in all things carnal. Whatever the reason, you didn’t reject his kiss and instead tilted your head to give him ease of access to your mouth.

Illumi’s kiss was paradoxical.

Unlike his cold cut-throat self, Illumi’s lips were gentle and almost hesitant against yours. He took his time caressing, nipping, and sucking on your lips until they tingled with numbness. It wasn’t until you let out a whimper that Illumi’s warm tongue delved into your mouth and languidly tasted every crevice, clouding your mind with desire.

The low groan that erupted from his throat and reverberated in your conjoined mouths was what snapped you out of your hazy state of mind to reality. Your hands traveled up Illumi’s chest and gently pushed him away until the clear strand of saliva connecting the two of you broke.

“We can’t,” you panted and you couldn’t help but notice his parted swollen lips, labored breathing, and the dust of pink on his cheeks. Illumi looked beautiful and that realization alone frightened you enough to tear your gaze away from him.

“Is it because of Hisoka?” The accusatory tone threw you off.

“Wha- no!” You blurted out in disbelief. “Why are you even bringing him up?”

Illumi’s hand took you by the chin and forced you to face him. The intensity of his gaze was unsettling as he scrutinized your face and you tore away from his grasp as soon as you could.

“Forget it. I’ll let you rest.” He stated, any remnant of emotion stripped from his voice.

As Illumi stood up and sauntered to the door, your mouth opened with a protest on the tip of your tongue but your sense of judgement returned, effectively killing the words on the spot.

If Illumi resented you for rejecting him, he didn’t show it when he visited the next morning with Canary in tow. As the young butler fed you your medicine and helped you with your physical therapy, the weight of Illumi’s eyes made you wish he’d been upset enough to avoid you.

But that wasn’t Illumi and the assassin escorted you to a greenhouse in a corner of the Zoldyck mansion where a breakfast for two was set up. Breathing in the fresh air and admiring the beautiful flora around you was enough to take your mind off the previous night’s events. So when Illumi helped you take a seat on the wrought iron chair before taking his seat opposite you, any lingering awkwardness dissipated and all of your attention was on the plate of food in front of you.

After taking a couple bites, you turned your attention to the assassin in front of you and broke the comfortable silence to get any information you could about the world outside the mansion’s walls.

“How was your mission?”

“It went well. The target was eliminated.”

“Where was the job?” You asked, pushing the subject to see if it would take you where you wanted.

“York New,” Illumi then paused, narrowing his coal eyes slightly. “Why do you ask?”

“Oh, just curious,” you took a sip of juice. “I’m just not used to being holed up in one place for too long.”

“Then just tell me.” He leaned forward and uncrossed his arms. “What do you want to know.”

You sighed knowing there would be no beating around the bush with Illumi. “The aftermath…of Saul’s death.”

Illumi quirked his head and furrowed his brow slightly as he thought over your words for a moment before the metaphorical light bulb went off in his head. “Ah- you want to know if your reputation is still in ruins.”

You winced at his harsh words but nodded, nonetheless. “I just want to know what awaits me when I go back.”

“It’s not what it used to be but his death definitely helped.” He paused for a second. “That mafia boss also did some damage control in your stead.”

“Who? Ruo Wen?” Illumi nodded before finishing the last bit of his breakfast.

The last time you’d been in contact with your last client, he’d merely confirmed your payment and wished you a speedy recovery but didn’t say anything beyond that. Ruo Wen wasn’t the type of person to go around doing favors for others without something in return, so you anticipated that the next time he contacted you for a job there would be no denying him.

“I suppose it’s better than nothing,” you admitted, stabbing a piece of fruit with your fork. “I’ll be able to get some work.”

“You wouldn’t have to worry about that if you married me,” he suggested and memories of the night before flooded your mind.

“I-I can’t-” There was an edge to your voice as you scrambled to come up with an excuse.

“But you eventually will so why not get it over with.” Illumi pushed and you knew he wouldn’t be satisfied until you gave him an answer

“Because! I-” You took a deep breath to steady yourself. “I’m in no rush to get married. I need to help my parents as much as I can and I’d like to enjoy whatever time I have left being single.”

The assassin remained silent and you decided to get some answers for yourself. “Why did you kiss-”

An unfamiliar presence in the greenhouse caused you and Illumi to turn in the direction where it came from. It was Illumi who recognized the intruder first and called out to them.

“What are you doing here, Kil?”

Silver hair emerged from the greenery and you smiled at the sight of Killua, your preferred Zoldyck. The young boy looked surprised to see Illumi and visibly tensed when Illumi stood up, simultaneously emitting the faintest hint of bloodlust.

“Canary said Y/N was in here…” Killua stopped when Illumi took a couple of steps towards him. Seeing him in action, you were reminded of the type of person Illumi Zoldyck was and your convoluted feelings towards him sorted themselves out.

“That’s enough, Illumi.” You reached out and held his wrist in a vice-like grip.

“He interrupted us,” Illumi deadpanned

“No, we’re done here.” Was your pointed reply before releasing his wrist. “I want to spend time with Killua.”

The slight tensing of his jaw was all you needed to confirm he wasn’t pleased with your declaration but you stood your ground until Illumi finally relented.

“I have a meeting with father so I’ll leave first.” Illumi turned to leave but not before addressing his brother. “Take care of her, Kil.”

Looking down at the forest from the top of Kukuroo mountain reminded you of home. The thin air and cool winds that tickled your face were so familiar you couldn’t believe it. All you had to do was close your eyes to picture the cliff your home sat upon and hear the waves of the sea crashing against it. Most of the memories you held near and dear to your heart involved diving off the cliff into the cool sea water with—

“Y/N!”

Immersed in your memories, you opened your eyes expecting to see your brother but found a worried Killua instead.

“It looked like you wanted to jump off.” He motioned to your hands gripping the balcony’s railing and your body leaning over.

“Ah-sorry! This just reminded me of the cliff back home. My little brother and I like to dive off of it into the sea.”

Stepping away from the balcony, you resumed walking the perimeter of the mansion. After being cooped up inside for so long, your readily accepted Killua’s tour of the Zoldyck family’s grounds and the two of you were just about finished.

“Illumi never mentioned you had a brother.

“Well he’s only eleven plus he hasn’t gotten his license yet.” Was your explanation although you doubted Illumi and the Zoldyck adults didn’t know about your baby brother given their profession and the relationship of your families.

“Is he also getting his when he turns thirteen?” There was a liveliness in his step and big blue eyes that reminded you of your brother. So as Killua matched your slower pace and waited for your reply, you found yourself caring about the middle Zoldyck sibling more than you’d ever anticipated.

“Yes, it’s our family’s tradition. In fact, I haven’t been able to see him lately because he’s been busy training.”

“Is the Hunter Exam that hard?”

You paused, thinking back on your experience, before you formulated your response. “It’s difficult for most adults with years of martial arts training so you can imagine how hard it must be for a kid. That being said, your family, like mine, doesn’t raise children normally so I’m sure if you ever decided to take the exam you would pass.”

The smile that spread across Killua’s face was infectious and you matched it with as much vigor and went so far as to ruffle his soft silver hair affectionately.

For the remainder of your stay at the Zoldyck mansion, you failed to cross paths with Illumi again. Upon returning to your room after spending the entire day with Killua, Canary informed you of Illumi’s departure for a long mission and the news came as a relief to your troubled mind.

You hoped that the time apart would serve to smother the flames of attraction Illumi’s kiss ignited.

Any further interaction with the Zoldycks—excluding Killua—was also avoided as most of them also embarked on missions of their own. The one’s left behind had been Kikyo, Milluki, and Killua which meant you weren’t summoned to any more awkward meals with the former two. For the last few days of your stay, you watched over Killua train for the upcoming Hunter Exam.

On your last day, you bid Killua and Canary farewell and trekked down the mountain debating where to go. York New was always a possibility but with your reputation the jobs would surely be difficult in your weakened state. Heaven’s Arena was also a possibility but the thought of crossing paths with a certain magician changed your mind. In the end, your weakened state and the time spent with Killua contributed to your destination—home.

A quick call to your mother confirmed your brother’s return home from his training trip and you looked forward to the time you’d spend together with him while regaining your strength. On the way to Padokea’s capital airport, you stopped by a souvenir shop to look for a gift for your brother. It was a fun little tradition in your family to bring souvenirs to him after returning home from missions, and as far as you knew, your parents hadn’t stepped foot onto Padokea ever since that event almost nineteen years ago.

A miniature version of Kukuroo Mountain on a shelf caught your eye and, after checking the price, you picked it up and took to the front. As the cashier rang you up, your phone rang with an unknown number lighting up your screen. You answered it immediately thinking it was a potential client but Illumi spoke instead.

“What did you tell him?” It was faint but you could hear the vexation in his voice.

“Tell who?”

“Killua ran away from home after injuring Mother and Milluki and I think you have something to do with it.”

You scoffed in disbelief before shutting down his accusation. “I didn’t tell Killua to attack your mother and brother. He was curious about the Hunter Exam so he probably left to take it.”

A harsh, derisive laugh filled your ear as you took your gift and stormed out of the shop. “Only a few days and you already filled his mind with foolish notions.”

“And what’s so bad about Killua becoming a hunter?”

“He’s not cut out to be a hunter. He was raised to be an assassin and cannot stray from that path.” Illumi answered, as if the reason had been obvious all along.

“He’s just a kid and deserves to have a say in what he wants to do.” You replied firmly, remembering the excited expression on Killua’s face during training. “He can work as a hunter just as well-”

“Of course an outsider like you wouldn’t understand. The Zoldyck name is synonymous with assassins. The heir can’t possibly be hunter instead.”

Illumi spoke to you like a child and if there was one thing you hated most it was being belittled. You’d been plagued by it during your rookie years and refused to go through the same thing again—even if it came from a dangerous man like Illumi.

“You’re right, Illumi, an outsider like me will never understand the inner workings of the Zoldyck family so maybe this engagement shouldn’t take place.”

Ending the call before Illumi could reply, you took a couple deep breaths before making your way to the airport now more eager than ever to return home and escape the madness that was Illumi Zoldyck.

Unlike your previous visit home, you took your time passing through the small town near your home. It was a small town that mostly profited off fishing. Many of the grounds people that worked at your home belonged to families that had lived in town for generations. Such was the case, the people that waved as you passed by were familiar to you and they knew you as well.

“Y/N!”

The distinct raspy voice from behind you sure enough turned out to be Jakob, a fisherman and the son of your family’s cook. He was a couple years older than you but the two of you grew up together and he’d been the one to teach you how to swim.

“Long time no see, Jakob! How’ve you been? How’s Petra?”

“I’m hanging in there,” Jakob grinned and held out a wooden box to you. “Petra’s six months pregnant, you see.”

You took the box and found it to be heavy and smelled like fish. “Oh congratulations! I can’t believe it’s already been a year since your marriage. You better be treating her well, Jakob.”

“I know, I know.” He replied with a roll of his eyes. “By the way, take that to my dad so he can cook it up for you and your brother. It’s from today’s catch.”

A peak into the box confirmed your suspicion and you recognized it as your brother’s favorite.

“Thanks,” you replied and closed the box. “Do you know what it’ll be?”

“The baby? It’s a girl. We found out last week.” He admitted with the biggest-shit eating grin you’d ever seen.

“She will be spoiled rotten by the two of you and your dad!” You laughed imagining old man Olvar playing with his granddaughter. “I don’t know much about kids but I’ll be sure to prepare a gift for her.”

“Thanks, Y/N,” and Jakob paused. “What about you? When are you settling down and having a family of your own?”

Jakob’s words triggered the memory of your first conversation with Illumi and you shuddered remembering his expectations of a wife.

“Not anytime soon,” you replied, shaking your head to rid yourself of the memory. “Well, I should really head up now. Say hi to Petra for me!” And with that, you said goodbye to your childhood friend and continued the trek up to your family’s home.

Passing the last home in the outskirts of town, the paved road ended and the dirt road that led all the way to your home began. The incline was quite steep but after years of climbing, you hardly noticed it. Besides, the scenery that surrounded it served as a distraction. To your left was a thick coniferous forest that stretched for miles inland and supplied the town with plenty of lumber and game. On the right was the cliff’s edge and the crashing waves of the sea below. You could practically taste the salty sea water just from the wind itself as it blew past you, whipping your hair and causing goosebumps to form across the surface of your skin.

You wanted nothing more than to drop everything and jump into the chilling waters below. It was very tempting but you figured it would be more enjoyable with your brother so you picked up the pace.

No matter how many times you visited, the warm tickling sensation in your chest never failed to manifest when you stood on the front lawn and peered up at the imposing centuries-old structure. If there was one thing your grandfather did right, it was refurbishing the old family home. Electricity flowed through every corner of the house giving it the heat and lighting it needed while the new plumbing system gave adequate water supply to all of the bathrooms and kitchens. Therefore, while the outside walls gave off the appearance of an old fortress, the interior was as modernized as any home built in the last fifty years.

Upon entering, you instantly felt a presence following your every move and it only took a moment to realize who it was. Deciding to humor him, you took the wooden box and headed towards the kitchen waiting for your little brother to emerge.

After reaching the annex, a shadow to your right caught your eye but you were faster and avoided the small fist that whizzed past your right arm.

“Ugh, you noticed me didn’t you?” Your little brother pouted, relaxing his shoulders and stance.

“Nice to see you too, ” you grinned and reached out to ruffle his hair. “And of course I did you were way too obvious.”

He slapped your hand away and patted down his hair before his eyes lit up at the sight of the wooden box and the gift bag you brought. “Are those for me?”

“Well I suppose they both technically are but the fish in the box is dinner. The bag is your souvenir from Padokea.”

You handed him the bag before picking up the box. “Now let’s take this to Olvar.”

By the time you settled in, it was dinner time and you joined your brother in the dining room. It was then that the two of you caught up since the last time you seen each other almost a year ago. You told your brother about your missions and the training you did but made sure to leave out any information about Illumi and the Zoldycks. It had been one of the conclusions you and your parents came to when discussing the debt’s repayment; your little brother would have nothing to do with it.

“So how was Padokea? I don’t think our parent’s have ever been there.”

“Lots of forests and mountains and the towns are nice.” Was your short reply and you steered the conversation towards your brother. “So how was training? Where did you go again?”

“Rokario,” He replied, stabbing a piece of fish with his fork but said nothing else to your surprise.

“Hmmm isn’t that near the NGL?” you commented. “I don’t think I’ve been to the Mitene Union.”

That last comment captured your brother’s attention and he stared at you wide-eyed. “Really?! You’ve never been there?”

For the remainder of the evening, your brother went told you everything he knew about Rokario, NGL, and the other neighboring countries. He spent a large amount of time discussing the people, flora, and fauna native only to that area of the known world. He also told you about the medicinal properties of different plants from treating a common cold to serving as a poison antidote. In the end, he didn’t tell you about his training but you figured you’d find out first-hand over the next few days.

Training was to a hunter as sunlight was to plants; it was vital to their growth. That was a fundamental that’d been passed down in your family and was engraved in you. So over the next few days when you observed your little brother’s movements and Nen strength, it became clearer that he’d slacked off in training. He was more than happy to help you out with your training but when it was his turn he’d get tired quickly and would leave to rest.

You debated when to address the issue and in the end decided to do it the day before you were set to leave. The two of you went swimming for hours before heading to shore and eating the food  Olvar had packed you.

“So…what happened,” you began taking a swig of water to wash down your food. “You’ve been slacking off during training.”

Panic flashed on your brother’s face before he looked away. “The thing is…I don’t think I want to be a hunter.”

“Wait, what? Not be a hunter?” You couldn’t believe what you’d just heard. “We’re hunters, B/N. That’s just who we are. It’s family tradition!”

“I want to help people. I want to be a doctor. I want to go to school and be a normal kid!” Tears welled up in your brother’s eyes as he looked at you.

“O-okay, we can always just postpone taking the exam so you can go to school but-”

He stood up suddenly and shook his head, tears falling on the floor. “No! You don’t get it, Y/N! I don’t want to take the exam ever! I just want to do what I want to do, not what you, mom, and dad want me to do!”

With that, your brother darted towards the house leaving you dumbfounded and confused. Ever since he first started to talk, he’d always wanted to be a hunter like the rest of you. Your parents even had him start his training early since he’d follow you around anyway. Not to mention, he also had a natural talent when it came to martial arts and was strong—even before finding out he was an Enhancer.

That night, after dining alone, you tried to figure out what had changed your brother’s mind and concluded that something must have happened during his trip. The conversation you had with him regarding the trip came to mind and you remembered the animated way he told you about the people, animals, and plants. Your brother’s face when he told you about the different medicinal properties of plants came to mind. He looked so excited and proud of himself…almost like Killua when he was training with you for the Hunter Exam.

“Hah…”

The bitter realization that you’d acted just like Illumi was like a slap in the face. What right did you have to judge Illumi when here you were telling your brother he had to become a hunter? Once you came to that realization, you thought about Illumi’s reasoning behind not wanting Killua to stray from his path and wondered if it was similar to yours. You fell asleep late that night mulling over what you would tell your brother and whether you should apologize to Illumi.

The next morning, after packing a bag for your trip, you headed to your brother’s room and knocked on his door. You heard shuffling in his room after the first few knocks but he never opened the door, so you decided to talk anyway hoping he wasn’t too upset to ignore you.

“I’m sorry about yesterday. It’s just you caught me off guard and I didn’t know how to react. You deserve to do what makes you happy and if that’s being a doctor then I’ll support you and we can talk to mom and dad about it when you’re ready. I would like for you to at least take the Hunter Exam, though. You don’t have to be hunter but it would be nice if you were licensed at least plus there’s a lot of benefits that come with it.”

You paused to see if he would open the door but you didn’t hear him move. “Well, I’m heading out now. Stay safe, okay?”

In the end, you weren’t able to see you brother again so you asked the grounds people and Olvar to look after him while your parents were away. Leaving home was always a melancholic event but this departure in particular was gloomier than usual. You wanted your brother to be happy but the family’s legacy remained steadfast in your mind.

With a sigh, you pulled out your phone. The number Illumi had called you from had been a payphone and you had no other means of contacting him, so you scrolled through your contacts until a particular name appeared on your glowing screen.

[Hisoka]

[secretshinigami]

Nowhere To Run

Author: @complicatedmerary For: @yeggami Pairings/Characters: LightxB (alluding to it) Light Yagami, Beyond Birthday, and a Wammy cameo Rating/Warnings: T, language, severe psychological torture, and physical violence Prompt: Something angsty with Light x B Author’s notes: On the one hand, I don’t like seeing Light suffer. But, on the other hand, I wanted to explore a follow up to another fic I already made, Running Out of Time. Whatever happened to Light? That question will be answered soon.

Quiet.

There was nothing but silence. It was eerie, not even the sound of breathing could be heard. Light Yagami didn’t dare move, the anticipation on why he was tied on a chair was perplexing to him and destroying the tension might cost him his sanity.

How exactly did he get here? All Light could remember was a hit on the head so severe that it blacked out his recollection of the past hour.

What Light Yagami did not know was that the injury in question occurred the previous week from today. It was all coming in a flash; Beyond Birthday told him that the only way one could get out this prison was to dig a hole under an unsupervised location. What all the prisoners knew, except for Light Yagami, were the consequences of such an assertive act: If you attempt to breathe in the rich soil as you dig your way out, the powerful fumes will kill you instantly and no one will mourn you as you are forever forgotten in the system. Beyond Birthday was counting on getting rid of L’s shiny new enemy for his own amusement.

Fortunately for Light Yagami, a guardian angel in the shape of a broad-shouldered criminal overheard Beyond Birthday’s instructions to Light Yagami, already prepared to save him from such terrible fate. He followed Light until he was feet away from the location and knocked him so hard on the head that he immediately passed out. The following morning, the criminal alerted the guards about Beyond Birthday’s intentions.

The guards dealt with him accordingly: Bring him to L.

After what seemed like minutes, Light Yagami remembered what happened and a hot fury traveled through him like lightening. L, it was all about L. No matter where he went, his presence disturbed him tremendously. He might not be face-to-face with him, but Beyond Birthday was the closest annoyance he could imagine. That smug smile, his inability to accept his mistakes, and his physical violence were so reminiscent of L that he wanted to hunt both of them and kill them with a Death Note. Too bad he was stripped off that power not too soon after he was captured and brought sadness within Light. However, something was still not right: Where did Beyond Birthday get his Shinigami Eyes if he lacked a Death Note? Unless Ryuk tricked him, shouldn’t The Eyes be removed once you give up the Death Note? Not like he wanted to know anyway; if he saw Beyond Birthday’s face one more time, he wouldn’t if know if he could stop himself from ripping off the hair that was left from Beyond’s head and break his ribs.

~

Meanwhile, in Beyond Birthday’s highly secured cell.

“You are fucking with me, right, Wammy?” Beyond Birthday hissed. “I did nothing wrong, why is L so upset if he hates Light Yagami anyway? He should be happy that we have more in common than originally thought.”

Beyond was in a terrible shape; his injuries from his fight with Light Yagami were still glaringly present and L being the sadist that he was, continued to refuse giving him medical care. First the untreated burns and now a broken face. Fantastic, truly fantastic, Beyond thought sardonically. I’ll never get away from him, he continues to torture me until I can no longer take it. Well, boo-hoo, how about you take me like a real man and stop hiding for once?

After his taunt, Quillsh Wammy administered an electric shock connected to Beyond’s arm, causing him to whimper like a child.

“Still not speaking to me, huh?” Beyond said after he recovered. “You can physically abuse me all you want, I couldn’t care less about you. You and L still ruined mine and A’s life without any remorse. None of you deserve any respect. I ought to kil—AAAAAH, AAAAH, AAAAAAAAAH!”

Wammy administered electric shock before he could finish. “I want to say sorry, but I’m not. At the end of the day, you wanted to be noticed by your death and destruction. You got what you wanted and it is disgusting that you are not willing to accept the consequences. Light Yagami was scheduled for execution; it was not your calling to be the one to do it.”

“He was going to die anyway!” Beyond insisted on proving himself on the right. “You mean to tell me this was an ego thing? How typical, I shouldn’t be surprised. Where is “Mr. Perfect” by the way? I didn’t get the chance to thank him properly for finally giving me chance to escape that hell-hole.”

“Oh, you’ll see him soon,” Wammy said nonchalantly. “I doubt he would be happy about it, but you’ll learn to coexist with each other.”

Beyond raised an eyebrow. “So he is here. Great, can’t wait for the exhilarating reunion.”

~

Light Yagami wanted this torture to end. As two guards dragged him to another room in handcuffs, he already feared the worst. The word “execution” shone brightly in his brain and, if he were honest with himself, that did not sound terrible anymore. Anything to be away from L’s torture.

They opened the door and he received the reminder of that night. Beyond Birthday looked more putrid than ever and if he were to stand closer, he would probably smell the lack of hygiene from rotting away in prison. Beyond had the audacity to blow a kiss at him and he couldn’t take it anymore; he launched himself on top of Beyond and hit his face with the handcuff’s metal surface. Beyond did not fight back; he was too amused to care.

“Enough,” Wammy did not raise his voice, but the sharpness was enough to make them stop. “Whether you like it or not, you are stuck with each other until one of you dies.” It didn’t take a genius to figure out who he meant. “Obviously putting Light Yagami in the same cell as Beyond Birthday was a terrible idea, so the rules have change. You do not longer have any liberties; no more prisoners to interact with and certainly no way out. You are not going to starve or be neglected of your basic human needs. Consider that a blessing, but don’t get too comfortable. From now on, you are highly supervised.”

Light was shocked by Wammy’s harsh nature. He remembered him as someone who was professional yet reserved. He almost reminded him of—No.

Was L speaking for him? By any chance, was he watching him right now? That could explain the surveillance camera, but he did not have a proper explanation on why Wammy was like this.

“I hope you gentlemen have no questions,” Wammy returned to his calm nature. “You’ll be inspected first thing in the morning for security purposes. Have a good night.”

~

Light couldn’t sleep, his paranoia was amplified by that patronizing surveillance camera; he felt mocked and distraught, there truly was no escape.

“You are boring me tonight, Yagami,” Without any warning at all, Beyond slid himself in Light’s bed. “Where is your flaming nature? You were so spicy when we met, now you are soft.”

Light felt sick; would it kill the guy to at least take one shower? “Go back to your bed, it is a single for a reason.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Beyond rolled his eyes. “I can’t sleep either. Isn’t it sad that even though your execution is coming, your numbers have not budged one bit?”   

He had to ignore him, it was certainly one of his other tricks. “Not that I’m following for it, but why do you think that is?”

“Maybe you don’t get to die just yet.” Beyond raised one finger near his mouth. “I can’t one reason why, he clearly hates your guts.”

“Really? I never noticed.” Light said sardonically.

“Aw, the spiciness is back,” Beyond purred against him. “Now the real fun can begin.”

“What are you talking about?” Light said, alarmed.

“Relax, pretty boy, it’s not what you think. I have a plan.”

“Oh, an escape plan? I certainly never heard one of those!”

“Okay, now you are being annoying,” Beyond forced Light to look at him, never mind the fact that he looked like wanted to throw up. “Listen, this one is special because we both lived happily ever after.” He whispered. “I can’t tell you all of it because I know L is watching. I noticed the camera, I’m not a fool. All I know for sure is that you have to pretend to like me.”

“Trust me, Beyond, I would rather kill you.”

“That’s the spirit,” Beyond grinned. “Once you get to truly know me, that feeling gets more intense. Hatred can turn into passion, please work on it.”

“I’m going have to ask you to go back to your bed, goodnight, Beyond.” Light attempted to push him off.

Beyond resisted. “You are not being reasonable. If L sees us getting along, it would throw him off his balance. It would be too suspicious and he would have no choice but to talk to us personally. That would be our chance to escape. We get out, you’ll be the Bonnie to my Clyde, and we live happily ever after.”

Light frowned. “Bonnie?”

Beyond took his hand in between his. “Think about it, sleep on it. You don’t have to agree, but you have to at least have the same lust as I do to defeat L once and for all. I want out, I can’t take his abuse anymore. Anyway,” Beyond kissed Light’s hand. “Goodnight, I wish you good luck on inspection day.” And with that, Beyond left Light alone.

It sounded tempting, but there was no way in hell he would let Beyond get too far with this. He still wanted his dignity back.

[inactive-revenge-may-vary]

Eff You, Mr. Eff - Part 2

The house, with all its demons, haunted him again. Johnny C., or perhaps someone who looked a lot like him, stood surrounded by the smell of decay from the bodies never given a burial. Blood so dry that it sank into the wall, becoming one with the concrete of the house, floorboards old and abandoned.

A gloved hand touched the surface of a wall, suddenly greeted by faraway voices of the dead; causing him to wake up for just one second before snapping back into red eyes and a mouth that dripped ink.

I ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ sᴏ, Jᴏʜɴɴʏ.

Unsheathing a rusty machete, the body pointed it towards itself as if in warning.

I'ᴅ ʙᴇʜᴀᴠᴇ ɪғ I ᴡᴇʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ.

Tak entered the former home of her brother.  The door was kicked in, bloodied footprints and some unknown black substance leading to the formerly well-hidden latchdoor to the lower levels.

Her spooch sank.  It was hard enough to logically know that her brother wasn’t in possession of his own body - but this physical evidence hurt all the more.

Tak cut the drapes from a window, setting them beside her large duffel.  Out of the duffel she pulled a doll-sized cryo-tank.  With one button she enlarged it, covering it afterwards alongside a spare set of knives and a bodysuit.

“I hope this doesn’t turn out to be necessary.  Edgar.  Lil Shit.  If something happens to me - wrap my PAK up in SOMETHING - press this button, and unwrap my PAK.  I’ll be fine… just with a new body.”  

She looked up.  “I was expecting to have to use this with the fuckboy Addie had been insistent on meeting - it was sheer happenstance that one clusterfuck happened IMMEDIATELY after the other.”

Edgar followed alongside Tak. He remembered the last time he and Nny had been there. It was only an echo in the back of his head most days, seeing as it happened such a long time ago. He could Nny sprawled on the floor, losing air, being choked by a ghost who wasn’t ready or willing to move on. He could even hear himself crying out to a God who had clearly… who had clearly not been available at the time. He would do anything to just be back at the apartment where he had promised Nny he would keep him safe. Where he’d hold him and assure him.

He touched a holster on his hip, he wasn’t going to use it.. be couldn’t. Not on Nny, not near him. He would not hurt Prince, he refused to even consider it being an option.

Descending into the lower levels of the house made the hair on his arms raise… he was feeling an odd sense of Deja Vu. He died down here one day.

Ink was barely distinguishable from blood as they descended further into the bowels of the shack.

He barely heard what Tak said, but nodded. He heard the instructions, but everything felt surreal. Like he wasn’t really here, like he was barely alive.

Lil’ Shit’s hackles raised.  Nope.  Did not like this.

They looked to their side to check on Edgar.  NOPE.  MORE HELLS OF NOPE.

“Eᴅɢᴀʀ,” they began, “Mᴀʏʙᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sʜᴏᴜʟᴅ sᴛᴀʏ ᴜᴘsᴛᴀɪʀs - Tᴀᴋ ᴍɪɢʜᴛ ɴᴇᴇᴅ ʜᴇʟᴘ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄʟᴏɴᴇ sʜᴇ ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ɪғ ᴛʜɪɴɢs ɢᴇᴛ ʀᴏᴜɢʜ.”

“Bᴇsɪᴅᴇs… Eғғ - Eғғ ᴡᴀs ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ᴡʜᴏ ʀᴜɪɴᴇᴅ ᴛʜɪɴɢs.  Bᴇғᴏʀᴇ,“ the former Wall Monster said, stiltedly.  “I ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ʜᴜʀᴛ ᴍᴏʀᴇ ʙʏ ʜɪᴍ.”

“Aɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴄʟᴇᴀʀʟʏ ᴅɪsᴀssᴏᴄɪᴀᴛɪɴɢ ᴅᴜᴇ ᴛᴏ ᴅᴇᴀᴛʜ-ɪɴᴅᴜᴄᴇᴅ PTSD,” they DIDN’T say.

Red pupils started to glow brighter in anger as the body’s new host realized that there is no monster to feed. Not anymore.

WHERE IS IT!? WHERE IS THE WALL!?

Johnny was brought back, only to answer the question. He couldn’t, it only took a second for him to realize his surroundings and start to breath heavily. Oh no- we don’t want that. Like a switch Johnny was sent back to be trapped in his own head, unable to get out.

Eff scowled and banged the machete against the unoccupied wall. He then paused as he sensed something, and grinned once he realized.

Hᴀʜᴀʜᴀʜᴀ! Hᴇʏ Jᴏʜɴɴʏ! Lᴏᴏᴋs ʟɪᴋᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ғʀɪᴇɴᴅs ᴀʀᴇ ʜᴇʀᴇ!

Tak heard the bangs, figuring via sound that they were maybe a floor away.

It was then that she realized the cause.  So he’s found out there’s no Wall, has he?

She turned her head to the duo behind her.  “Edgar, Lil Shit- this- this isn’t going to be easy.  I don’t expect it to be pretty - I guarantee blood WILL be shed, if just to subdue.  I’m not going to kill him or permanently injure him - the worst injuries will be if he fights the restraints on my PAK legs.  But- with a doughboy puppeteering…”

She grimaces.  “I don’t expect that either of us will escape without a nick or two.”  She looked to Edgar.  “Edgar - I’d be more comfortable if you stayed behind - you’re not trained in CQC, and unless you’ve got a tranq gun… well.” “Lil Shit?  Could you try and talk sense into Edgar?  If you can’t - please protect him?  Prince would NEVER forgive me if anything happened to him.”

“I don’t expect it to be, Tak. But I’m not just going to stand idly-by during all this. I’ve held my ground before and I’ll do it again. I understand your need to protect me and keep me safe, but what you last said is false because you couldn’t keep me on the sidelines if you tried. If anything did happen… trust me, it’s not you he’ll be blaming.” It’s himself.

“I’ve had some practice wrangling in bulls, taming wild horses, and herding cows. You underestimate the strength I do happen to have.”

“Please, Tak, I have to be there for him now, not after.” Edgar phrased it as a question, but there was no negotiating in his eyes. He was determined.

Lil Shit huffed.  “Yᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ʀɪɢʜᴛ.  Hᴇ ᴡᴏɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ ʙʟᴀᴍɪɴɢ Tᴀᴋ OR ʏᴏᴜ.  Hᴇ'ʟʟ ʙᴇ ʙʟᴀᴍɪɴɢ HIMSELF.  Eᴅɢᴀʀ - Eғғ ɪs ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴇᴀsᴏɴ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛʜɪs ᴄɪᴛʏ ʜᴀs sᴜᴄʜ ᴀ ʟᴏᴡ ᴘᴏᴘᴜʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴ ᴀɴᴅ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ-ɪɴ ʀᴀᴛᴇ.”

Right to the chase, cutting the bullshit with a knife sharper than ANY of Prince’s.

“Aɴᴅ Pʀɪɴᴄᴇ ᴡɪʟʟ ᴏɴʟʏ ʙʟᴀᴍᴇ ʜɪᴍsᴇʟғ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ʜᴇ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ sᴛᴏᴘ sᴏᴍᴇᴛʜɪɴɢ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ sᴛᴏᴘᴘᴇᴅ ɪғ ʏᴏᴜ ɢᴏᴛ ʜᴜʀᴛ.”

A last, desperate cry.  “Tᴀᴋ ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴡᴏʀʀʏ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜᴇ ᴇɴᴛɪʀᴇ ғɪɢʜᴛ, ᴛᴏᴏ! Tʜɪs ɪsɴ'ᴛ ᴀ ғɪɢʜᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ ᴇɴᴛᴇʀ ᴡɪᴛʜ ᴀ sᴘʟɪᴛ ᴍɪɴᴅ.”

Johnny entered the room undetected, grinning maniacally as he watched the scene before him. He didn’t make his presence known until everyone stopped their noise

Oʜ ʜᴏᴡ ɴɪᴄᴇ, ᴀ ʀᴇsᴄᴜᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏ!

He had twin blades holstered at his sides, as he sauntered towards the group, smile unsettling.

Aʟʟ ʏᴏᴜ ғᴜᴄᴋᴇʀs ᴡɪʟʟ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɢʀᴇᴀᴛ ᴀᴅᴅɪᴛɪᴏɴs ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ ʀᴏᴛᴛɪɴɢ ʙᴏᴅɪᴇs ɪɴ ᴛʜᴇ ᴜɴᴅᴇʀɢʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛᴜɴɴᴇʟs!

Tak quietly commanded the purple panels of her PAK to shift, allowing for efficient deployment of her PAK legs.  She shifted slightly, adjusting her grip on her knives.

“Eff.  Couldn’t we have a CIVILIZED conversation?  Your counterpart was MUCH more civilized.”  Psycho wasn’t, but Nny’s Eff?  Eff was practically CORDIAL compared to this.

Tak stood her ground, slightly adjusting her stance.

“So, Eff - you’ve seen that the Wall no longer exists.  There’s nothing to feed.  Why stay?  There’s nothing to slave away for.”

Tak has her PAK legs ready to shoot out at any moment.

Edgar finds it hard to make himself glare at Eff, being that he was currently masquerading as his fiance. Yet, when he talks, it’s not Johnny’s voice he hears, the doughboy’s voice is as grating as static on the radio and metal in your mouth.

His glare hardens the more he thinks of how much he despises this parasite. He stands his ground, following Eff’s movements carefully.

All six of Lil Shit’s main eyes narrow, muzzle contorting into a snarl.  “I ᴍᴀᴅᴇ ʏᴏᴜ.  As ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴄʀᴇᴀᴛᴏʀ, ᴛʜᴇ ᴏɴᴇ ʏᴏᴜ sᴇʀᴠᴇ?  Wʜʏ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏᴍᴇ ᴏᴜᴛ ᴏғ Pʀɪɴᴄᴇ sᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀɴ SERVE ME BETTER?”

Their tendrils tauten, ready to fight.

I ɴᴇᴇᴅ ɴᴏ ᴍᴀsᴛᴇʀ!

He yelled at the canine monster.

Nᴏᴛ ᴏɴᴇ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴛᴀᴋᴇs sᴜᴄʜ ᴀ ᴘᴀᴛʜᴇᴛɪᴄ ғᴏʀᴍ!

He looked at everyone else, stance firm.

Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴡᴀɴᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɴᴏᴡ ʜᴏᴡ Jᴏʜɴɴʏ’s ғᴀᴄᴇ sᴜᴅᴅᴇɴʟʏ ɢᴏᴛ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴛʜɪs?

Eff questioned to the group, pointing out the various still healing wounds upon the body’s face and nose.

Bᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ ɪᴛ ᴡᴀsɴ'ᴛ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴀ ғᴜᴄᴋɪɴɢ ғɪɢʜᴛ!

He grinned.

Oʜ, ʙᴜᴛ ᴛʜᴀᴛ’s ɴᴏᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴀᴍᴀɢᴇ I ᴄᴏᴜʟᴅ ᴅᴏ! I ᴄᴀɴ ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴡᴏʀsᴇ ғᴏʀ ʜɪᴍ.

Tak’s spooch sank.  She’d hoped it was from him fighting back - but maybe it WAS, Eff could be a liar.  As she heard “so much worse-” her mouth moved, words flowed without thinking.

“NO- please.  Please - is- is there ANYTHING?  I’m a geneticist, I could give you your OWN body!”  That I could easily kill, but you don’t have to know that.

Just- just don’t hurt him.  Please.

Edgar hadn’t realized that those marks were blood. The ink from his mouth caught him off guard and he had no idea it was actually blood. There were so many cuts upon Johnny’s face. And his heart sank. Imagine looking in the mirror every day and being reminded of this incident, he hated thinking of all the backtracking this had caused. He hated imagining nights he’d spend comforting and assuring, and telling Johnny he was still handsome and that he still loved him and he’d keep him safe. He trusted him. He’d tell Johnny every single day he loved him and so much more. He loved that man so much, and just to let the doughboys try and take all of that away from both of them? He was nearly shaking with anger. It had no right doing this. His hands clenched and unclenched, heart racing, but he didn’t attack, knowing that it wouldn’t do any good right now to make the first move. But he doubted Eff would just take that offer.

What could Lil Shit do?  They’d failed to keep Prince safe - They had to keep Edgar safe.  They moved in front of Edgar subtly, using their body as shield.

Eff could sense their worry, and at Tak’s little outburst, immediately put his machete to the body’s throat.

Aɴᴏᴛʜᴇʀ ʙᴏᴅʏ sᴏᴜɴᴅs ᴘʀᴇᴛᴛʏ ɢᴏᴏᴅ ᴏɴᴄᴇ I ғɪɴɪsʜ ᴏғғ ᴛʜɪs ᴏɴᴇ.

He looked everyone in the eyes, as he continued.

Is ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴡʜᴀᴛ ʏᴏᴜ'ʀᴇ ᴏғғᴇʀɪɴɢ ᴍᴇ?  Bᴇᴄᴀᴜsᴇ I ᴡᴏᴜʟᴅ ʙᴇ ɢʟᴀᴅ ᴛᴏ ᴅɪsᴘᴏsᴇ ᴏғ ᴛʜɪs WEAK ғᴏʀᴍ! Uɴʟᴇss ʏᴏᴜ STOP YOUR HYSTERICS!

He screamed, putting the blade closer.

Oɴᴇ ᴍᴏᴠᴇ ᴏʀ ᴀ ʏᴇʟʟ ғʀᴏᴍ ᴀɴʏ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜɪs ʙᴏᴅʏ ᴅɪᴇs!

He threatened, tone almost half serious half mocking in a challenging way.

Tak stopped all movement.  If she revealed how much Prince MEANT to her, Eff would kill him, which would emotionally destroy EVERYONE.  If she said anything about how there was a spare body upstairs, he MIGHT kill him, then take the other body-

Fuck.

It looks like this was the only option she even HAD.  She dropped her knives.

“I brought a spare body with me in hopes of negotiation.  It’s upstairs.  Lock these two up in another room. March me forward up the stairs.  All I want in exchange is Nny’s safety.  You get a free vessel.  Nny gets his body back.”

Edgar had to keep a sharp ‘what’ from coming out of his mouth upon hearing Tak’s proposition. He looked in disbelief between Tak and Eff. He tensed physically.

Lil Shit was taken aback - more than they expected.  They understood that this was certainly the road with the least death - shapeshifting guaranteed that they could free Edgar and find a way out via the tunnels - but Tak and Nny were still in danger.

…But it was a risk that Tak was willing to take - and Eff would be foolish NOT to.

Still threatening to cut “his” own neck, Eff still had the knife pointed to “himself” and he almost dropped it as he roared with Maniacal laughter.

Aɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I'ᴍ ɢᴏɴɴᴀ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴀᴄᴄᴇᴘᴛ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴘʀᴏᴘᴏsᴀʟ ʟɪᴋᴇ THAT?

He sneered.

Wʜɪʟᴇ ᴀ ɴᴇᴡ ᴠᴇssᴇʟ ɪs ᴀ ɴɪᴄᴇ ᴏғғᴇʀ, I'ᴍ ᴀғʀᴀɪᴅ I ᴀʟʀᴇᴀᴅʏ ᴏᴄᴄᴜᴘʏ ᴏɴᴇ! he informed.

I'ᴠᴇ ᴋɴᴏᴡɴ Jᴏʜɴɴʏ ʟᴏɴɢᴇʀ ᴛʜᴀɴ ᴀɴʏ ᴏғ ʏᴏᴜ! Tʜɪs ʙᴏᴅʏ ɪs ᴠɪᴛᴀʟ ᴛᴏ ᴍᴇ - sᴜʀᴇ ɪᴛ ɪs ɪɴ ᴀ ᴡᴇᴀᴋᴇɴᴇᴅ sᴛᴀᴛᴇ ɴᴏᴡ, ʙᴜᴛ I WILL ᴍᴀᴋᴇ ɪᴛ sᴛʀᴏɴɢᴇʀ!

He grins, now playfully twirling the machete in his hand, but keeping it slightly pointed to the group in warning.

Tʜɪs ғᴏʀᴍ ᴋɴᴏᴡs sᴏ ᴍᴜᴄʜ ᴀʙᴏᴜᴛ ᴠɪᴏʟᴇɴᴄᴇ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ᴄᴏʀʀᴇᴄᴛ sᴘᴏᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴋɪʟʟ ᴀ ʜᴜᴍᴀɴ ᴡɪᴛʜɪɴ sᴇᴄᴏɴᴅs!  THIS ɪs ᴍʏ ᴠᴇssᴇʟ! Mʏ ғᴏʀᴍ!  I ʜᴀᴠᴇ ʙᴇᴇɴ ᴛʀᴀɪɴɪɴɢ sɪɴᴄᴇ ᴅᴀʏ ᴏɴᴇ!  Dᴏ ʏᴏᴜ ᴛʜɪɴᴋ I'ᴅ ɢᴇᴛ ʀɪᴅ ᴏғ ɪᴛ NOW?

“Since day one?” Tak scoffed. “You might have controlled Prince, but you are missing oh so much, Fuck. Look me in the eyes and tell me you know who I am.”

Fall for it, please - allI need is eye contact and the REAL plan can start.

Edgar hated how depersonalizing Eff was being, of course he didn’t expect any different. It still made his blood boil hearing the way Eff only saw Johnny’s body as a source of control, just a meatbag with the knowledge needed to do the most damage. He could never understand why anybody just liked senseless violence, and yet here it was in physical form, using his fiance’s body to go through with its twisted acts.

Then he realized something, “Wait, Tak, that body upstairs has the same knowledge too. It’s basically you right? And you’re a qualified killer yourself.” He winced, not knowing how exactly Tak felt about being called that, but he’d say anything to sell the body to Eff.

Tak nodded, knowing EXACTLY what Edgar was doing.  “Absolutely - it’s identical to me.  I’m skilled at hand to hand, I’m skilled with ranged combat, I’m skilled at flat out WARFARE.  I’m a trained soldier and mercenary.”

She lets her hologram fall. “And the best bit - I’m nigh immortal due to what I am.  I can run on nearly nothing, live forever without any external influence- I’m practically a cockroach!”

“And I brought an empty body for bargaining - you’d have to be a FOOL to pass this up, Eff.”

He didn’t care about anything she had to say about the matter, until she called him a “FOOL”

Eff growled and aimed the knife at himself again.

WATCH YOUR TONGUE, YOU BITCH!

“My error - it certainly won’t happen again.”  Eye contact.  JACKPOT.  A glint of her eyes.

“Mister Eff - would you kindly put the weapons down, please?”

He slowly lowered the weapon

I -

Wait a minute.

Nᴏ! Wʜᴀᴛ ᴀʀᴇ ʏᴏᴜ ᴅᴏɪɴɢ?! Dᴏɴ’ᴛ ʟᴏᴡᴇʀ ᴛʜᴇ ᴡᴇᴀᴘᴏɴ!

He looked back at Tak with a sharp glare, screaming at her

WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?!

A bead of sweat trickled down Tak’s face.

“Mister Eff - put.  The weapon.  DOWN.  ON THE GROUND.  KICK IT AWAY.”

The hand that gripped the knife started to shake.

NO!

He was in control of this body!!! Not HER!

The knife fell to the floor anyway, and Eff grit his teeth. He then seemed to hesitant before kicking the knife away.

NO!  NO! JOHNNY!  I AM IN CONTROL!  I AM!

He immediately scrambled for it and then aimed it at himself again

I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU!

Tak is sweating heavily.  “MISTER EFF - PUT THE WEAPON DOWN.  AND DO NOT PICK ANY WEAPON UP.”

I’LL KILL YOU!

I’LL KILL YOU!

Eff gripped the knife tighter as he kept warning Johnny who barely had control now but was still conscious.

The knife fell to the floor regardless, and Eff’s hands started to shake as he found he couldn’t pick any other weapon up.

“MISTER EFF - hands at your sides and walk up to the main floor.  Sit on the couch.”  Tak’s sweating and tense, but she’s still in control.

Despite protest, despite yelling and screaming until the body’s throat is raspy, Eff walks over. He obeys. He sits in the couch.

Tak smirks, unfreezing the body, wrapping it in the drapes, hiding a knife up her sleeve.

“Now, since you wouldn’t of your own volition BEFORE - Mister Eff, transfer to the prone body on the coffee table.”

The body starts to shake as Eff tries to restrain himself, but the red in the body’s eyes are flickering. He won’t! THIS IS HIS BODY! NO! NO! NO!!

The red flickers until it goes out like a candle, ink that dripped from the mouth stops, and the body goes limp, eyes open, but unmoving.

The unconscious body on the coffee table opens its glowing red eyes.

Edgar has never been more happy to see the light from Nny’s eyes fade, but that immediately is overtaken by grief as he rushes to the fallen man’s side. He dives to his knees and carefully pulls Nny’s head into his lap, tears already accumulating in his eyes, “Johnny? Prince? Darling, can you hear me? Please, be okay.”

He places two fingers under a blood-stained chin, near the artery in his neck and checks for a pulse, waiting to see if there is one.

“Well, I’m sure you’ve realized that you can’t move Fuck.  Thing is - this body?  Yes, it’s absolutely operable - if you were me.  You see - this backpack?  That’s me at the absolute CORE of things.  This is the host for all of that.  And YOU - you can’t maneuver ANY of it because guess what - you’re not hooked up.  You’re a game console without the power.  But guess what?  This game console was so very old.  It was sparking, about to catch fire.  So - naturally,”  Tak moved fluidly, showing the knife. “I’VE GOT TO CUT THE CORD!” 

She raised the knife above her head, burrowing the knife in her clone’s abdomen, ripping up, following with a slit throat.

She let the psychic implant deactivate and the knife drop from her hand.

“Well.  Not everyone can say they’ve seen their own dead body, let alone stabbed themselves and come out without a scratch.”

It took a while for Nny to fully regain control again, once he realized that he could in fact be the only thing inside his own body again, his hand started to twitch, and though it would take him a minute to regain his sight he called out to a blurry world. 

“Hello?” His voice was extremely hoarse, as if he had previously lost it.

Much to his relief he noticed the slight twitch of his hand and he reached for it, softly pressing his palm to his, not taking his fingers into his until he was sure that Nny knew who he was.

“Johnny, hey, can you hear me,” Edgar said, “It’s me, your fiance, Edgar.”

He began to smooth Nny’s hair back, finding a bit of blood coming off and staining his hand.

“Edgar?” Nny could barely talk, but damn he tried to! “…oh- yea..my fiancé-“ he tried to give him a small smile.

Tak sighed in relief as she finished wrapping up her corpse.  “Oh thank Gaud, you’re alright.”

Somehow the alternate spelling and meaning is evident.

“Hey, darling. You’re safe now, okay,” he smiles down to him, slowly intertwining his fingers with Nny’s. “You’re okay.”  

He gives Johnny’s forehead a small peck, he casts his eyes over to the spare dead Tak body being wrapped into the torn drapes. Only somewhat acknowledging how she had said the name, entirely sure it wasn’t towards who he thought it would normally be. But that was the last thing on his mind. He was just happy to have his fiance in his arms, alive and breathing. That was the first step in the right direction.

Nny acknowledged Edgar’s words with a smile, noticing that he couldn’t move his head or talk.

He noticed that his face seemed to hurt a little and he winced.

Edgar started to frown, seeing that Nny was in considerable pain, once the fog lifted of just being glad he was conscious, he turned to Tak.

“Uh Tak, a little help? I think we need to get him some medical attention, I really do not want to let these cuts get infected.”

Tak nods.  “I was thinking the same thing.  So we have the option of a Midge that has just got her daughter back from kidnapping, me - who can do first aid on humans - not much else, or a hospital and lies and more lies.”

“How about you do a bit of first aid and I’ll get the car running and clear out the back so you can lay him down later,” before he turns to leave he looks to Tak, “Do you need anything? Are you gonna be okay here for a minute while I get things ready?” 

“Um- there should be a first aid kit in the bathroom- I’ll need that-”

He goes into the bathroom and the grabs the kit, handing it over to Tak, “Anything else?”

“Er- no, this should be fine,” she said, noticing the latex gloves inside. “Go clean out the car, okay?”

She put on the gloves and daubed a cotton ball with antiseptic.  “Sorry, Prince - but this is going to sting worse than hellfire.”

He nods, mindlessly twirling they key-ring on his finger before opening the front door and heading out to the car before Tak starts the care. He knows he won’t be able to stand it, seeing Nny in any type of pain, even if it’s because he’s getting help.

Ah yes, the lovely soundtrack of “Prince, Injured, but NOT DEAD” - featuring such great hits as:

“Oy- quit SQUIRMING! I’m TRYING to make sure your nose doesn’t SET LIKE THIS!”

“Hey if you want a fucked up eyebrow and blood in your eye that’s fine, I’ll - OH NOW YOU WANT HELP?”

“What the- DID YOU BITE THROUGH YOUR LIP?  No- no, that’s just a cut.”

And finally:

“Well this isn’t optimal.”

Well, at least they were going to the hospital.

End Thread