#but i just started it now lol (procrastinating on my actual work rn)

[pandoa]

LET THE ANGST RISE

RISEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[thatshappinessforme]

When We Are Together - Pt. 1 (?)

omg...hi. i'm really here rn. posting this. at nearly 4 am on a monday morning. im nervous. i could vomit. so...this has been in my head for forever. literally. the idea is massive. it extends so far. it's seriously a whole universe in my little brain. it took so long to get the basis of this all out on paper, but, i'm hoping this is a series...a long one. the title isn't going to make much sense right now, but i pinky swear we'll get there eventually. so...without further ado...here she is...(EEK!) (also i have no idea how to set this post up so bear with me lol)

so i guess i just lost my fanfic writing vcard💌

_____________________________________________

word count: 2.4k

cw: just a little swearing, maybe a bit of bad writing, also maybe typos?? might be a little boring because it’s mostly to just like set the scene idk? (eventually the plan is to have a lil smut or smth but this really is just an intro lol)

_____________________________________________

The day starts as usual. You wake up to the sound of your alarm and your roommate’s hair dryer blaring through the thin walls of your Brooklyn walk-up. With a groan, you peel yourself out of the warmth of your bed, go to your desk, and open your laptop, holding onto a shred of delusional hope that one of your classes might be canceled for today; they rarely are…but you can’t blame a girl for being an optimist. 

You scroll through your inbox, refreshing, and refreshing – you really don’t want to go to class today. Blame the essay you’d procrastinated that you’d spent all of last night speed-writing. Blame senioritis. Blame the unpaid music publicity internship that you’d been letting eat up your time in hopes of scoring a good job. Blame the frigid snow and ice that seem to be taunting you from outside your window. But, luckily it’s a Friday.

You refresh your inbox one last time, just for good measure. And, something actually comes in. But, it’s not from one of your professors. It’s from some company named “Dirty Hit.”

You raise an eyebrow and open the email, thinking it must be something related to one of the countless jobs you’ve applied for in the last few weeks, preparing for graduation at the end of the semester.

Y/N,

I’m a representative with one of our bands here at Dirty Hit. We’re really impressed with your work and have an opportunity we’d love to discuss with you, if you have a free moment this week at some point. Are you based out of New York? Get back to us when you can. We’re looking forward to hearing from you.

Best,

The Dirty Hit Team

“That’s weird,” you whisper to yourself, reading the short, ominous email over and over again. It’s not everyday that a label reaches out to a random college student to work with them. You’re not really sure what they could possibly be impressed with. You’ve just done minor PR internship work with underground bands from the east coast – that’s not exactly impressive. It sure as hell doesn’t warrant an email.

“Y/N?,” you hear one of your roommates and best friend, Vivian, call from outside your door before walking in, not bothering to knock. The two of you are close, almost like sisters at this point. In some ways, you’re exactly the same person, but in others your polar opposites. She’s a little bit more outgoing than you are, but she always helps to get you out of your shell. “Do you think I can get this guy I’m talking to into the venue tomorrow night? It’s just at The Soundwave, right?,” she asks, plopping down on the corner of your bed. 

Shit. You completely forgot you signed up for an open mic tonight. You’d been playing your songs at small bars in Brooklyn and Manhattan for the past year or so. Songwriting had always been a bit of a hobby for you. So when you’re a broke college student in one of the most expensive cities in the world, you just find tricks to get you and your friends to do fun things for free. You’d learned a while back that performing at open mics usually meant you and your friends could get into bars and clubs without having to pay a cover, so you’d been spending your weekends doing that for a while. It’s all for fun. Sure, you like performing and put a lot into your songwriting, but pursuing it isn’t even quite a dream for you. You have an impending college degree you’ve worked your ass off for. In every sense of the word, music was a hobby for you. 

“Yeah, it shouldn’t be a problem. He might have to pay the cover, but it’s not like it’s the sort of thing where people buy tickets. You know the drill. But, obviously you’re my plus one, so no cover for you,” you nod, still staring at your laptop screen.

“What are you staring at, over there? Everything okay?,” she asks, getting up and moving to stand over your shoulder at your desk. You move your head a little so she can get a good look at the words on your screen. You watch her face as she reads the email, her lips dancing on each of the syllables as you watch her process it. “Dirty Hit? What the hell is that? Sounds like a porn company. Impressed with your work? Do you have a booming, secret OnlyFans I’m unaware of?,” she jokes. 

I laugh and playfully nudge her arm. “No, no,” you giggle, “It’s a record label, I think. I’ve heard the name thrown around a few times at my internship. I think they’re kinda big.” You tab over and do a quick Google search. Immediately, a sea of popular artists and bands pop up under the label.

“Holy shit. Beabadoobee? Bleachers? The 19 fucking 75? I have their fuckin’ poster on my wall. They’re cool as shit,” she reads over your shoulder. “I mean, I have no idea what they could possibly want from me. My resumè isn’t all that impressive. Sure, I’m planning on going into music PR, but there’s no reason why I would stand out against someone who has like…an actual career under their belt,” you ramble, trying to make sense of the 67 words in haunting your inbox. 

There’s a long pause, both of you trying aimlessly to make sense of the email. “Well, you’re gonna email them back, right?,” she eventually asks. You take breath, starting a reply to the email, leaving your cell phone number.

You try to focus on anything other than waiting for a reply. You do your best not to let your mind wander into the what-ifs, but as soon as you get done with your lectures for the day, you check your phone for any response.

Y/N,

Thanks for getting back to us so quickly. The band and management is also in New York for the next few months for a project. We would give you more information over email, but much of the matter is highly confidential. We have a studio space at Electric Lady in Greenwich Village that we could meet at, if that works for you. I know it is rather short notice, but could you meet this evening at some point? Let us know.

Best,

The Dirty Hit Team

You quickly reply to the email on your walk back from campus, confirming the meeting for later this evening. You get back to your apartment and practically tear apart your closet trying to figure out what the hell to wear. You know it’s a business meeting, but it’s also for some mystery band. You don’t want to dress unprofessionally, but you also don’t want to seem uptight. You decide on a black mini skirt with tights and a chunky black turtleneck sweater. You finish primping and step into Vivian’s room, practically out of breath from all the outfits you’ve tried on and scrapped.

“Okay, if you were a band looking for…a PR representative…? Would you hire me?,” you ask her, standing in front of her bed as she looks up from her phone. She looks you up and down and grins, “Of course I would, Y/N. You look great,” she reassures you, sensing you’re anxious, “So, you really think this is just a PR gig?”

“I mean, yeah. What else could it possibly be? It couldn’t be my music. I’m not even on any streaming platforms; I don’t promote it at all,” you say with certainty. She shrugs and smiles, before wishing you the best of luck as you head out the door.

You get on the subway and head to Electric Lady. The train has always been one of your favorite parts about living in New York for college. Putting your pink headphones on, looking out the window into the catacombs that stretch throughout the city, people watching. It’s where you did your best thinking. 

You get off the train and walk through the streets, your headphones on and your music blasting, only interrupted occasionally by Google Maps telling you where to turn and such. Eventually the robotic voice in your ear says “Arrived” and you look over your right shoulder…here it is. You're right on time. You go to open the doors, pushing on them gently; must still be locked. You sigh, assuming that its to be expected. That this is simply upholding a prophecy of some sort that the band and music-industry-folk run behind…until you hear a laugh.

“It’s a pull,” you hear a man’s voice call out with a slight chuckle. From just those three words, you’ve determined that he has one of the thickest English accents you’d ever heard. You look over your left shoulder and see a man leaning up against the wall of the studio smoking a cigarette. “What?,” you ask, confused as you look over to him. He has a hood on and you can’t make out his face, or what he was trying to tell you. “The doors. It says right on them. ‘PULL,’” he chuckles, tossing his cigarette to the ground and putting it out with his Adidas sneaker, walking over to you. “Oh, um, thanks, I’m an idiot. I almost gave up,” you chuckle, pulling the door open this time. The man follows you into the studio, holding the door open once you tug on it. You look back over your shoulder to thank him for holding the door, the first time he’s been close enough for you to make out his face; Christ, it’s Matty Healy.

“I know who you are,” he says to you with a cheeky grin as he starts walking into the back of the studio. You just stand there near the doorway, the gust of cigarette-scented, cold January air lingering around you. You’re perplexed, to say the least. He keeps walking down the hall before finally turning over his shoulder, “You’re just gonna stand there? You have a meeting. Wouldn’t be very professional of you to stand us up,” he teases dryly. You blink a few times before nodding, following him, still in a bit of disbelief that this was the band that had some sort of ‘interest’ in you.

He shows you into a studio in the back. Once he opens the door, there are four other men sitting there, three that you also recognize from your roommate’s wall. The other, a bit older, more professional looking. 

“Y/N! I’m Jamie, I manage these blokes. Thank you so much for agreeing to come meet with us today. I know everything was rather vague on the emails, but…we had to keep it that way. But, now that you’re here, let's talk, yeah? Are you familiar with The 1975?,” the older man asks you, in a super friendly manner as you sit down on a plush chair in the corner of the room. Every eye in the room is glued to you. The air is almost sticky with anticipation. You take a deep breath and try to slap on the most composed, thoughtful, professional smile you can manage.

“Um, yes! Of course,” you nod, tucking a stray strand of your hair behind your ear, “I’m actually a fan of you all. Really, I listen to your stuff with my friends – you’re fantastic.”

“Good, good. We’re glad to hear it,” he grins, looking around at the boys who also all look to be pleased. Even though everyone’s eyes are on you, you feel Matty's specifically, practically burning a hole in the side of your head as he stands, still leaning in the doorway.

“We’re impressed with you, Y/N. So, I’m just going to get on with it. George went to a little bar in Bushwick last month and sent us a video he took of you singing one of your originals…you’re bloody fantastic. We’re going on tour this summer. We want to do something a little different this time with our opener. We want to build someone from the ground up. You’re it. We want you. What do you say? You interested?,” he explains with a wide grin, his tone casual like he didn’t just tell you the craziest shit you’ve ever heard. 

Jamie’s words hit you in slow motion. You look around the room, the air moving from feeling sticky to feeling ice cold, jolting you awake. “I’m sorry…what the actual fuck did you just say?,” you blurt out blankly, any ounce of composure you may have had completely gone. 

You immediately catch yourself, your language, your lack of professionalism, though, “Oh my god, I’m sorry. I…that just came out of my mouth…I-,” your face goes bright red as you desperately try to correct yourself.

The room erupts in laughter, the men you recognize from Viv’s poster nearly barreling over off the sofa. Jamie’s jaw on the floor as he howls, slapping the table in front of him. You look over your shoulder to see that Matty’s still in the doorway, and he’s just standing there with his arms crossed, shaking his head at you with a shit-eating grin.

“Oh, I think we’re gonna get along quite well with this one,” he remarks, licking his lips, weirdly impressed with your mispeakings.

You can’t help but sigh softly and shake your own head when he looks at you like that; something in you shifting as if he’s the only person in the room; as if he was the only person who'd ever laid eyes on you; as if he was the only person ever. As if, the offer you got just moments before wasn’t the most absurd thing that had ever happened to you. As if you didn’t need to thoroughly think this all over. As if you could make the decision right now.

You look back over to Jamie, who’s still chuckling. Before you can give yourself the time to overthink, you swing one of your legs over the other, lean back into the chair and smirk, “Jamie, where the hell do I sign?” 

…and this is how it starts.

[layalu]

WIP Whenever

tagged by @herearedragons! :]

using this to announce Picrew Feedback Phase lol, since i've been working on it more again recently and now basically have everything in place, just need to add and fix items!

Yes i am still procrastinating on adding hair and having fun adding animal features instead u.u But ye! Basically if anyone wants to have a go with it and you have suggestions as to what you'd like me to add (like hairstyles or w/e) or you notice something that confuses you or anything really, feel free to hmu! Sorry in advance for my awful value choices on all the head parts (that's gonna get fixed once i Actually start doing colours) |'D edit: added some screenshots of the picrew maker website, in case anyone is curious what that looks like! :]

tagging @creativegoblin, @superboyconner, @absyntthe, @exotic-inquiry, @curiouslavellan, @cao-the-dreamer, @a-drama-addict, @brainwormterrarium, @snowberry-pie, @goofsoup, @scorbutic-properties, @daggerbeanart, @greypetrel, @ndostairlyrium, @shivunin, and anyone else who has something to share! c:

[softhairedhotch]

no, thank YOUUUU <3333 and it's okay HEHE remember to take it easy!!! 🫶 i can tell u for sure i will be here ready to absorb and consume n love anything that u create <3333 ive already read ur new fic Too Many Times . it struck sooo many chords like . I WOULD REALLY DO ALL THAT 😭😭 n ya fr there's too many good ideas out there to explore n there's only so much you can do at One moment. i personally have this long standing problem of starting sooo many things that i cannot finish bc i'm a master procastinator... so the only way i function is with looming deadlines ☠️ wish i was getting paid to just sit down n think about aaron bc man... i'd be a millionaire by now 🗿

TEHEEHHEE OMGGG PLEASEEE PHONE SEX . another big weakness of mine . idk how many times ive said smth is my weakness BUT like there's just some tropes that NEVER GETS OLD ... also sometimes i focus so much on aaron n how he makes you feel that i don't think about how HE would be so affected by everything about you GOSSHHHHHH please . like you're captivated by him but he's literally also soooo smitten and down bad for you to that he has to fight his urges to just give into anything that u want 😭😭 but unfortunately he can't always magically teleport to wherever you are so he just talks you through it and gives you such clear instructions BRRRR IMAGINE IF HE USES HIS WORK VOICE BC HE WANTS YOU TO LISTEN TO HIM EXACTLY STEP BY STEP . like my god i can't believe how i can giggle n kick my feet whenever cm has a scene of aaron giving instructions n delegating work to the team... like it's just so hot . n when he shows off his intelligence WOWOWWEEWW major turn on . n wooooof.

AND??!?$$;&; him sending pictures of himself 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️🧎‍♂️ also i love the idea of aaron being away from u but being soo pent up that he takes the initiative to surprise you with a special video of him jerking off or using a toy <333 and u BET he knows to send it with sound so you can hear all the sounds he's making <333 bc what is nut videos without SOUND 😤😤😤

omg.. i luv daddy kinks BRRRR n sometimes it just especially HITS SO HARD . like omfg got me actively looking for those daddy asmr porn audios 😭😭😭😵‍💫😵‍💫 sometimes it takes awhile to find a good one but when i strike gold... Wow . GODDD i know aaron would say such filthy things that are downright insulting n degrading... BUT HE DOES IT IN THE SOFT AFFECTIONATE VOICE sparkled with some praises... AGRGRHRHHH .

omg REALLLL he's SOOO the type to make you say what you want directly in words. he isn't going to budge if you're just whining n hoping he'd take the hint bc he himself also loves to hear such filthy things come out of your mouth <3333 "you know daddy really loves to give you whatever you want... but not if you don't use your words. come on, does your pretty little mouth only function as daddy's cocksleeve?" HARGRHRHEHEJE i am Dead . n STOPPPP ENCOURAGING MEEEE ure gna make the can of worms EXPLODE ABOUT ALL THE FILTHY THOUGHTS ABT AARON'S CUM PLSSSS (not actually complaining ! i am Egged)

also omg... TEEHEE... i will tell u more abt my lovely male oc soon!!!! omfg im SO EXCITED . bc i literally have never talked about it to anyone even though i've thought abt it in such detail LMFAOOOO its just hard out there to find someone who shares the same brain ... damn 😭 i'm really glad i happened to stumble across ur page n decided to send an ask <333 bc i rly enjoy talking to u too!!!!! <3

-🤲

you're so sweet bless <3 hehe i'm glad you liked my new fic!! and YEAH I GETCHA omg that used to be me, like i couldn't do stuff without deadlines, AND NOW I CAN'T EVEN DO THINGS WITH DEADLINES LMAO. sometimes i can, but if i set it myself then you best believe it ain't getting done. i procrastinate sooooo much it's painful. like i could sit here and write for most of the day because rn i currently do NOTHING ELSE in my life (rip, i'm working on it lol) but do i??? no!! i mean that's just a lot of effort innit lol, writing constantly sounds exhausting even tho it's all i wanna do

phone sex my beloved <3 and awwww yeahhh he'd be sooo so so in love with you and he'd wanna do anything and everything you ask :') but GOD YEAH him using his work voice?? all stern and professional and demanding?? goddd i need that so bad. and YESSS when he shows of his intelligence it's soooo hot, like that one scene where he does the maths and penelope goes "is this reid?" and he goes "what, you impressed?" YES I AM BABE I LOVE YOU SM

i loooooove the idea of his sending pics <333 that's why i love looking at nsfw stuff sm bc sometimes i strike GOLDDDDD and its like the most aaron pic ever and it makes me lose my mind. once i found one that was so him i fully forgot to breathe and was blushing like mad (this one i think!). it was... a lot LMFAO. but god god GOD him sending a video of him jerking off when on a case??? i need that soooo so so much. and yes FR there needs to be sound in nut videos. once was sent one from a guy WITHOUT SOUND like babe? dude? what are you doing? where's the fun in that? i mean it was hot don't get me wrong but i was like "buddy wheres the sound at 🤨" LMAOOO

YESS I KNEW YOU WOULD BE INTO DADDY KINKS LMFAOOOO. and omg real, they're sometimes so good and for what. or any video of someone with daddy vibes,, godddddd sometimes it just HITS FR. YESS HIS VOICE WOULD BE SO SWEET AND GENLTE AND LOVING BUT ALSO DOMINATING AND THE STUFF THAT COMES OUT OF HIS MOUTH IS SOOOO FILTHY N HOT

yessssssss he'd looove to hear you say what you need. "come on, little one, let daddy know what you want, hm? i need to hear you say how much you want my cock" and "you want me to ride you, sweetheart? want daddy to ride you until you can't cum anymore? hm? let me hear you say those words, baby, i need to hear you say it."

and yayyy i'm so excited to hear about your oc!! i can't WAIT it's gonna be soooo good i just kNOW IT. i'm also really glad you stumbled across my page too <33 thanks for sending me all these asks!!!!

[simtrovart]

hiii i know it’s been a long time since u last posted and u prob haven’t even been logged in on here in forever either but i just caught up on ur story (it’s been yearsssss since i’ve been on tumblr lol and this was a good way for me to procrastinate today) and WOW when i tell u i have tears streaming down my face rn. ur story is so beautiful and dreamlike almost. the pictures u post are actually stunning? how do u do it? also ur poses work hand in hand with your writing and story and AH everything!! i love it so much oh my god thank you for creating this, even if u won’t end up finishing it i’m happy because i got to enjoy the experience. ps. u could totally be a famous author goddamn ur writing is incredible

Hello,

I will use this message from my inbox to relate what happened in the past few years, lol. It's been more than 4 years and I am not sure if my known simblrs are still around, but sending you lots of love for those who stayed and for those who are new and simsing. ♡

Well, first of all, I would like to thank you for taking your time and scroll through the Ilkay's story (through my hiatus when I had time and missed sims I was reading it from the beginning and I was overwhelmed myself with what I was capable to do with sims) and also thank you for your beautiful message. ♡

Secondly and unfortunately, I lost the entire sims save with the Ilkay's :(.. and also my Tumblr access, but now thanks to the Tumblr team I regained access to it.

I had a few questions in my inbox in regards of some old poses I made. I am not sure if I will start doing poses and re-doing what I had posted or stories on this account at the moment as I have some personal things to do that require time.

I will be around though spreading the love. Maybe even I will have the patience and time to start from the beginning, who knows?!

[clobertina]

Random unimportant updates:

Idk about any art projects I plan on doing fully atm, so I’m just doing whatever rn lol.

1,

I’ve been procrastinating on my Talltale lore ngl… But I think it mostly just has to do with the fact I’m REWORDING my lore and not actually adding anything new as of now. That and I’m pretty sure it also have to do with the fact I’ve accepted that, because Talltale is still a WIP, many areas and parts of the story have plot holes, big conveniences, and rushed stuff.

Thing is, I feel like the most important characters of the AU, (Frisk, CC, Gaster, Crimson, and Asriel) are fine… but the OTHER characters (the side characters) such as MK, GK, Undyne, Sans, Papyrus, Alphys, Mettaton, Toriel, Asgore, etc. are very rushed rn and I'm struggling REALLY hard to make them, their struggles, personality, relationships, and their roles well written and believable

2,

Taking a break from the Oddworld Chibis for now. (page 1 is done and I’m just starting the lineart for page 2!)

3,

Currently right now, I’m going over my HTTYD Rescue Rider’s Relentless Rainbowhorn Redesign!

I don’t wanna spoil it, but for now, I’m giving it a sorta light navy and light yellow color instead of the original’s color scheme! Mostly because, while it COULD work, the shades of pink and yellow mixed with the white just made it look ugly lol

4,

plan on redesigning a Custom design someone ordered tomorrow

[trouffle]

blah blah life update cus i’m sick and it’s a void moon today & im procrastinating breakfast

in 2023 i started and lost 2 jobs (both location closures) & the second one was the closest i ever got to financial “stability” ut it was also a server job in lower manhattan so. need i say more. now i’m a bartender at a movie theater working 15-20 hours a week (which i did at my last job making 500-800 base cus rich ppl are insane and autograt is a blessing) when i was guaranteed upwards of 30-35 during the hiring process and i truly have no clue what miserable hell i’m about to launch myself into finding a job that pays me more than $50 a shift post-tax. it is so stressful and makes me feel so ashamed even tho i have familial support bc it feels like i should just be… doing “better” aka making more money. side note, one of the customers at my old job accidentally dropped a $100 bill, i brought it to her instead of pocketing it to let her know, she most definitely didn’t realize nor cared she literally looked at it like it was a single and they still left $0 in tip…. lol america

but then i step back and realize what i’ve been doing in the name of passion all last year. after planning since summer 2022, my first ever drag performance was in feb 2023. my first ever produced show was april 2023 and it was longform, experimental narrative drag derived from my own astrology practice. i’ve co produced 2 shows (would’ve been 3 but we cancelled and it was a bad move..)

and now going into 2024 i’m producing my first ever rave and debuting as a dj this monday. i’m booked for an experimental drag-noise show at one of my fav venues, just bought a camcorder and got my point n shoot fixed (i didn’t know how to take out.. the film 😔), have my first live model figure drawing, & am on the track to keep producing shows and beginning to take over dj mom’s collective. after i lost my second job i turned towards drag / my freelancing work i marketed via drag to pay my bills and all it did was excessively burn me out, brought me to the edge of despising drag & wanting to quit it all. the instance i chose money over passion the entire ENTIRE process was ruined. i took a step back, started djing, and if i thought drag saved my life BEFORE it def was all leading up to this as i’m ushering in a new dimension of creativity and musicianship into my desperately burnt out soul from graduate school & a decade of classical music training

i am fucking terrified of what 2024 will bring bc in 2023 i lost 2 jobs AND 2 of my best friends via conflict and have just felt so unbearably ashamed and confused bc idk i have credit card debt and rent to pay?????? it’s so fucking confusing being alive but i truly don’t think i would be here if it wasn’t for pursuing drag in the last year or so give or take. i am so so so immensely grateful for it and find myself in constant shock & awe that this is where i am

its scaryyyyy to be as publicly and openly vulnerable as you have to be a public artist holy shit esp when ppl are so gleefully cruel nowadays bht i wouldn’t trade it for the world, esp cus irs brought me to actual community & a sense of home i’ve never felt in any institutions or with my family. i’m scared bht i’m grateful. i’m tired but there’s so much to look forward to. rn i’m just sick as fuck with a respiratory infection but my show is in 2 days :3

[enrapture]

Since I’ve failed to keep in touch on certain social medias like this one that I used to be on all the time, I wanted to do a lil update.

I will try to make this as short as I can. (I failed)

I’ve been taking time to reevaluate, work through, come to an understanding and acceptance of certain things. Trying to change within myself & ask myself questions and take my time figuring things out as I tend to be my own worst critic. Trying to move more with love, openness, respect, understanding and honesty are the core elements I desire in life. I will not settle for less but at the same time I will remember that imperfections make us human. No one, thing, is perfect. Everyone fucks up. It’s okay. everyone goes at their own pace in life unless chosen otherwise. Obv depends on the situation but yeah. Moving on… I feel like if I don’t say what comes to mind I’ll forget and it will eat at me if I don’t talk about it or I’ll remember it later and then I’ll talk about it but now it’s too late and it’s considered out of context and then I’m looked at like HUH. So yeah I’m a bit of a mess. LOL.

God I say so much detailed shit that makes 0 sense lmao. This is all a jumbled mess but go on keep reading if you give a shit. ily, for those that take the time to get me, understand my scattered thought brain. You’re dope. Thank you. Anyway, It’s all about within yourself. Feeling your feelings. Experiencing things and surrounding yourself with similar <good> natured people. With Happiness blooms in the bones so to speak. Just doing. Just being. Just flowing. So it goes. Figuring out what I want out of life currently, the people I want to be surrounded by, and work on my mental health. Work on things because I want to and try to become a better person overall. (Speaking of mental, mine hasn’t at all been the best or the easiest this year. taking it one day at a time. Is the nicest way I can put it.Adhd/Depression/anxiety are difficult to juggle.) I know as time goes by life won’t be easy. Trying to accept that. realizations can be impactful. Making actual decisions instead of procrastinations as well as learn and practice accepting things for how they are. For what they were. And not make excuses. I’m working on a lot haha. I’m <trying> to get back into various hobbies such as (art, writing, poetry, photography) as of late all I’ve been doing is working, planning for New York, going out and about, watching films/shows, listening to music, once in a blue moon playing video games (im waiting on my monitor to come in since mine just stopped working for no reason. It’s a Samsung thing HAHA just trust, I’m not the only one it happened to unfortunately) and reading with my time.

For those who don’t know I’m visiting New York for the first time in two weeks and I’m (most likely) moving there in the beginning of the year. Maybeeeee around my birthday (Jan 28th) I dunno yet as of current. But Im thinkin about going to school sometime after everything is settled. I’m taking some time to figure out what I want to do rn. I know I want to take a few classes in art, do something in regards with cinema, maybe do somethin with coding/graphic design??? Idk I have a few things in mind. I just need to take time after running around like a madman getting the house ready/myself ready, work currently and work on balance 🤍🖤 try to not be up in the clouds too long ya feel? I’ve got goals and I’m working at em one day at a time. :,) it’s hard but I think it will all work out in the way it will and it will all make sense eventually. For the first time in a long time, I’m hopeful.

It’s a new start. A new beginning. I’m nervous/excited. More growing, learning shitsy shits to do~

Authenticity is sexy. Consideration. Reciprocation. Communication & understanding is sexy. Taking the time to figure yourself out as well as others is sexy. The realization of truly Highs and lows - flaws and growth not being stuck in one or the other for too long despite them are sexier.

Romanticize •positivity• into your life.

And if you’re going through shit, know that it will work itself out soon. Easier said than done, but it will. Everything will make sense in time. Give yourself that time. 💛

As someone who’s been through a lot of unspeakable but some speakable hell, who gets it, trust me you’re meant to be here.

If there’s a sign, this is it.^ stay. Continue on. But yeah update Im probably most likely moving LMAO.

Okay, Phew.

[escapadeist]

palm tree 🌴

nutmeg

ivy

and chia 🩵🩷🩵🩷🩷

get to answering lol

Ayee there's my fren...

palm tree ⇢ do you have a fictional villain you shouldn’t like but love regardless?

Damn, ik they're morally gray characters n very popular or infamous choices for such questions, but Snape n Draco, i don't usually like characters that act out the way they do because of whatever negative experiences they've been through, because you always have a choice to not bleed on those who haven't hurt you, but anyhow, i think that their backstories and everything that they do based on them, doesn't make me love em exactly but appreciate them a lil more than others ig. Also, just a blanket answer will be all those side characters in movies or TV shows, that are not exactly villains but are villainized by others on the show or they and their struggles are hidden from the spotlight because they aren't as quirky or likeable as the main character's problems, just makes me love them even more! Also, might be a bias cause i identify as a side character..

nutmeg ⇢ how’s your room/home decorated? do you have a specific theme or style going on?

My room, oh the tragedy, i wanted it to be a subtle dull-ish green, or teal kinda maybe, but it turned out this bonkers paint that i hate now, but anyway, i try to work with it. There's no theme, because i didn't have a room of my own until i was way older and then the prospect of me leaving my parents' home made me think, why even bother decorating.. but yes, as of now, it's just a place i occassionally occupy n has my pride n joy, my bookshelf n my canvases on it and i am a neat freak so i like to organize stuff but ever since my seemingly never ending exams have started n my life decided to go to shit simultaneously, i haven't gotten the chance to clean n organize, but soon i will n it will feel better. (It being me, n also, a bit, the room ig? haha)

ivy ⇢ what are your ‘tells’ for your emotions and moods? how can someone tell you’re happy, annoyed, upset or tired?

Ukw, funnily enough, i don't have a lot of 'tells' especially when I'm sad because i self-isolate, (ik toxic trait, but i feel like i don't wanna burden people with my sadness) so yeah that... But i am quiet mostly when sad n when i feel joyous, i think i hum n sing quite a lot, n take interest in my hobbies again n dance somewhat, but hey that could also be because I'm depressed but I wanna distract myself or procrastinate dealing with it so I just do the happy stuff, fake it till u make it or die amirite? For anger tho, i recently found out, i can't express it healthily, *pause for gasp* n end up screaming, crying (which i hate!!!! Crying when you're angry is horrible!!!!) n actually have very bad symptoms like a racing heartbeat n shortness of breath n have thrown up too, God, I'm oversharing! But yeah, might as well drag the cat that's outta the bag now... (Sorry, no, i still love cats, LIKE A LOT!, Please apologise to your cats, i didn't mean any harm to them)

chia ⇢ what’s an inside joke you have with someone else?

Ok so this is actually a very geographical joke (The Office reference, the kind of jokes u have to "be there for" hehe) so as i said i have my exams going on rn, n in this one subject we had to study about what makes an entrepreneur... And idk if it was a typo in the notes that we were provided with or what, although i wouldn't put my uni past that, but apparently one of the reasons one can be held back from being an entrepreneur is "not being able to have dreams", now ik they must've meant dreams as in a vision or high ambitions or something... But when me n my friend read it, we just imagined this one person going to sleep every night n waking up disappointed like "Dammit! I was so tired, i straight up went to sleep n i didn't even have a dream! This is why mom was right, i will never amount to anything because i don't see any dreams.." now they didn't even bother to specify what kinda dreams, so it can range from nightmares to fantasies or wet dreams for all we care, but ever since then, whenever there's a problem n we can't find a solution, me n my friend say to each other, "Oh well, this is because we never have dreams man! We can never think outside the box for creative solutions to anything, because we sleep too soundly n dreamlessly"

Ik it's a very, very stupidly silly joke but it gets us cracking each time so ig it works out for us atleast lol..

Wow, these were fun to answer!

Would love more asks people!

N if u reblog the OG post I'd love to fill up your ask box too...

Also, love ya n thank u sooo much for sending this love ❤️✨

[northerngoshawk]

2, 11, 15 for the WIP ask game??

thanks for the ask hotwife!!

obviously i will be talking about my forbidden lovers au for kataang because that is the only thing i have in the works rn 🥲

2. Do you set mini-deadlines or goals for yourself along the way?

i cannot do deadlines, mostly because irl is apparently very keen on throwing all the assignments it can at me 🥲 so instead i rely on tiny goals to get from point a to point b.

the way i'm writing this fic right now is actually very unorthodox of me: i'm skipping around and writing down the sections i have the most idea for so i don't end up forgetting how it goes, and then moving from there. so when i usually take a weekend or so to sit down, my goal is usually to finish up the section im working on and, if possible, start a new section. as i'm writing this now, i'm planning on taking tonight to finish my current section--one of the rare moments of free time i have on a weekday 🥲

11. What is your favorite way to procrastinate?

scroll through tumblr and/or meander on around discord in the hopes i can see someone having a convo and jump in lol 🥲 but tbh, i really don't like procrastinating that much--it's like every fiber of my being is telling me to write write write, but when i do open the document, my mind goes blank, and suddenly i don't want to write anymore.

ugh, why can't i just have someone else transpose the exact scenes and phrasing onto the document 🥲

15. What has been the easiest thing about working on this WIP so far?

writing the scenes i already have in mind. i actually already have a pretty clear idea on how and why kataang gets separated, what brings them back together, and the ending. and even if i have something vague like this actual, realtime note in my document:

[something about their childhood or something]

if i sit down and really think about it, i can usually come up with a scenario to fill that space. but even when i can't write it down right away, i can write a heck of a more detailed note to guide me, like i did here:

this was the result of a one-liner note that i sat down and really thought about before coming up with the scene i want to write for this section. really, the easiest part of the fic is thinking of the scenes; the hard part is actually writing it out.

so with that out of the way, even tho you didn't ask for it, i shall give you a snippet because i love talking about this more than writing it 🥲 and also kataang is very soft in this fic 🥺

“So then what do the stars remind you of?”

Katara had to hide a smile as gray eyes filled with stars turned to her. “There’s this old friend of mine,” she began carefully, looking down at the hard ground carpeted with grass, “that I hadn’t seen for a long, long time. He used to take me star-gazing and point out all these constellations he had in his own culture. We would spend those nights comparing them with the constellations from the Southern Water Tribe.” She idly plucked at some of the green stalks peeking out between her fingers. “I missed him dearly.”

Even in the dim light of the moon, Katara could see a glimmer in Aang’s eyes. “What a shame,” he murmured. His impressively straight face was ruined only by the twitches at the corners of his mouth, very clearly trying to suppress a smile. “He seems like a really nice guy.”

“He is,” she agreed, her own smile threatening to overtake her face. She looked back up to the sky. “Unfortunately, he had to go off and fight in the war.” She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. “It’s been… rough, only having his letters to know he’s still alive.”

Aang shifted next to her. “I’m sure it was just as hard on him,” he offered. She looked over to see him looking up to the constellations. “It was probably difficult to keep waking up without your smile there to greet him.” He glanced over at her, his expression soft. “He probably missed you just as much as you missed him.”

thanks again for the ask, and i can't wait to share this fic with the rest of the world!!

WIP ask game

[missxfaithc]

im lowkey embarrassed rn cuz like several months ago I sent an email to this YouTube channel I really like and I never thought I’d get a response so I was like “well fuck it, imma pour my heart out in this email cuz it’ll never get read anyways” and then I never actually checked to see if I got a response cuz I sent it through my like junk email that I never check, but then randomly tonight (after literally almost six full months since I sent the email has gone by) I decided to check and see if I ever did get a response, just cuz I was curious, and as it turns out - I did. Now, the reply was only from like a couple weeks ago, so ig I shouldn’t feel too bad about not checking earlier, lol. But anyways, I am having Feelings rn because as much as I like to simp over YouTubers online, irl I’m painfully socially awkward and introverted and generally bad at expressing any meaningful emotions around ppl. And like I said, I said some (at least semi-personal) stuff in this email cuz I never really expected that it’d get a response. So now I’m just like 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️fml.

Also in this email I mentioned how (at the time) I was working on this original story with a couple of the characters loosely based on these YouTubers, and I’m not working on the story anymore and I didn’t really plan on continuing it, but in the response I got the YouTuber was like “we’d love to see it when you’re willing to share” and now I’m like 😭😭😭

Why do I do this to myself??? I hate being Perceived by others and yet I simultaneously crave attention as a writer.

The worst part is that even though I stopped working on that story, I started a different one a couple months ago and was like “well since I’m not gonna ever finish this one, maybe I’ll just base the 2 main characters of this new story off of these particular YouTubers instead” and now I have 3 and like a third chapters of that story done and I have a whole first book outlined.

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

idk what to do now, lol. Usually I’m just content with procrastinating indefinitely about my various writing projects, but now I kinda feel obligated to finish this one 😂😂

[roxygenstudiesagain]

100 days of productivity (12/100) 12/30/22

2023 is so close and oddly foreboding. I worked more yesterday doing comms but today still had its productivity spurts

Content warning: prescription medication n me being generally unhinged but that’s normal

Bad news- I blew up at a professor (not in her face just sent a strongly worded complaint to the head of her subject) over just generally feeling antagonized all semester and it reaching a boiling point over not being given the ability to redo a quiz I got 0 when it counted a lot and was not my fault. I think studyblr would empathize with my anger

But equally i was immature and a bad moment and full disclosure I have spent the last 3 days since looking into anger management to avoid it again. Totally a trauma response but no excuse to be mean to someone who’s going through a lot. But it’s brought out this entitled mean version of me to compensate for feeling defensive and it makes me miss my therapist because he’s so good at dealing with that version of me

Been reading a lot, some educational nsfw titles (otherwise I’d post a screen cap of what I’m reading) bc i want to kind connect with my body in an academic understanding but also learning about untaught insight into the human condition. Idk I’ve always desired an academic relationship with erotica as much as i admit to my own consumption.

Maybe I’ll write an essay lol

I actually larped as him giving me advice all this which was what pushed me to take it easy and self medicate on klonopin just to breeze past it. It helped. I hope my new therapist comes fast to fill the void

It may seem cowardly to many of you but my strategy to cope for now was to block all email conversations n threads with her since the class is over, avoid her classes like the plague and keep taking anxiety meds (I’ve been having to take a klonopin to take the edge off every day since it happened, hoping to take a break from it tomorrow to save it for pmdd). Might look at it eventually but rn I’m just not emotionally there and don’t have the support system in case scrapping with faculty hurts me even further

Yesterday i played ukulele and i made 2 songs and a game plan for getting my stuff out there for next year. Might look into something to study to help me figure it all out

Today:

Big reorganization n list update for all art projects for next year

Got closer in starting a volunteer gig I’m getting into

I usually hate going in and fixing stuff when I’ve called it done but I actually snuck on sbpro and did some last minute edits to boards

Put a new story seq in folio

Cleaned house, vented, hoovered, laundry n dishes and even the air con. Dusted yesterday

Went out to get new years food

Did my eyebrows and a lil face mask

Cleared some cupboards and made spade

To do

Drive drive drive God I’m so tired of procrastinating on it

Keep looking for gigs on LinkedIn

Prep for new part time gig

Await reply from new client

Message storyboard prof to beg for school copy of sbpro

Cut hair out at least tidy it

[dustofthedailylife]

THAT FLUFFY THOMA FIC GAAAAH

I forgive you now dust 😌 I am like a marshmallows rn so fluffy and about to melt because of the cuteness

WHY CANT THAT BE REAL 😭 I WANT THOMA

And I am kinda surprised 3 post -2 of them are pretty long- in a row :3 It's not like you 🤨🤨

Jokes aside i am happy lol you know me, always hungry for your posts eheheheh

LOTS OF HUGS LUV YA GOOD LUCK ON YOUR EXAMS <3

-⛄️

[Thoma fic]

Hihihi ~

I'm glad you liked it, nonnie! :3 And fr, can we start a petition to make 2D men real? Everyone who agrees, lift your hands!

And yeah I kinda wrote a lot lately, huh? Haha! It's actually 4 new posts if I'm not mistaken

The Diluc x Harbinger Reader fic (working on chapter 2 already btw), Breakup scenarios, Thoma x Kamisato Reader one shot and the random brainrot drabble with Kaeya and Diluc. I suprised myself ngl, normally I'm super slow. Guess that what procrastination and sleepless nights did to me lol (dw I'm fine, just nervous and a night owl 😂).

Spoiling you all at the moment! I want to get Chapter 3 of my Diluc fic out before my exams still. That way I can stop brainrotting and you guys get some new food.

Lots of hugs back to you and thank youuu &lt;3

[jinglyhigh-heels]

Y’all I am genuinely so emotional over my mom rn, and it’s actually positive. I don’t know if that’s rare or not, but anyway.

So I had these lights, right? And I had em hung up in my room. But one day I plugged em in to turn em on, and there was a flash of electricity from the outlet, and the lights no longer worked. :( Boo. Sad boy hours. /gen I was really upset

So anyway, now I want new lights, but I hate spending money. The only reason I’d even had those lights was because they were at a thrift shop. So I keep procrastinating, till one day I finally actually start looking at lights. But I just recently had to spend quite a bit of money, so I’m even more stingy than usual. But I find some that I really like, color changing and homey and coming with a remote with an on/off button so I don’t have to un/plug to turn them off/on. But they’re like 30 bucks.

So I say fuck it, and text my mom asking if she’ll buy them for me.

And she does! She just asks if there’s anything else I want, then says they’ll be there Wednesday.

She didn’t ask me to justify it (although I already had when I asked her lol), she didn’t ask if I was sure, she didn’t add any stipulations or anything, didn’t say it was a one-time thing, she just did it.

And my god, I have a couple ideas for why this is so impactful for me, but I just really wanna go to sleep rn so if my brain could kindly feel overwhelmed by this tomorrow that’d be great thanks

[i-have-bees-in-my-brain]

Personal rant or some shit bc i just wanna get this out rn. yeeeee this will be long

So today i had a vit of a stressful day with uni n all bc ive been sick and admittedly lazy over the last week up til like tuesday and i had to turn in an Interpretation/essay tonight and prepare a group presentation for tmr (saturday seminars should b illegal but ok i literally chose this). N e way so ive been procrastinating like hell up until this morning so i didnt rly eat before showing up to seminar at 12am and afterwards i had to check with my one remaining presentation groupmember and finish the interpretation and tgen i had swordfighting class at 5. I didnt Really gave time for it but its fun and im very behind bc i misses several lessons already and am generally. Not good at it lol. n e way i turn up to swords and we peactice some routines ig and heres where the peoblem rly starts. Basically i am a huge crybaby, always have been (im older than firestar btw for context), esp when i feel criticized or yknow. Make mistakes or anything and since i was a sports h8er with 2 left feet n hands all my life n cried often during school pe bc i kept messing up n git embarrassed, it was an important step for me to sign up for this uni extracurricular swords class bc. Doing sth sporty in front of others tgat. Isnt very easy and i gotta learn from scratch is a bit out of my comfort zone. But normally its all v fun, im not good/easily the worst in class but thats ok i learn and move my body and talk to ppl! Proud of myself! Well today not so kuch, i noticed i was getting tense bc of not understanding how to do a movement and everyone (3 experienced fighters bc the main teacher was sick plus 2 other beginners that r learning faster than me) lookimg at me and trying to give helpful pointers and me still doing it wrong... H8 dis feeling bc i kinda freeze up instead of being able to take the tips n try again. Its hard for me to translate input like verbal instructions and demonstsations into my own movements as is. In this state i cant do anything properly and i feel the cryings abt to start while wanting nothing more than to MOVE ON NORMALLY. Well my eye started to get itxhy n teary so i excused myself to "take care of my contacts" (lie) (why am i even so ashamed that i feel i have to lie/make up excuses?? Bro???? That just made the situation Actually cringe?????? Im normally not an ashamed person and cryings just a state/expression but idk) so it was better for a bit until it wasnt. Then i full on cried in class while 2 ppl were actively showing me things/helping me do em right n everyone else kimda watched, kimda practiced. They did ask if i was ok and i said yes like a liar. So at the end of class i normally take the bus home with one of the other new guys but i today just didnt feel able to keep talking to him. So he also asked if i was ok/why i cried and i said i just do that under stress and why i am stressed (uni) so that was also a bit of a lie but only kinda. I said i was gonna go to the livrary instead (another lie, was gonna call my bf to calm me down abit n then take the next bus) so i did tgat n it kinda worked and this genius asked if i had eaten. Bruhhh of fuckin course im sensitive ive only had 3 baked goods all day and hadnt even noticed!!!!!! So then it all made sense, mans gotta get some freakin noursishment to keep their composure in swords class! So i went to another bus stop than normally bc i needed sth from the store and bruh the guy i normally take a DIFFERENT bus with is there (awkwardly votta tell hik i changed my mimd abt the library) and we talk a bit (i feel like i talk to him wayy too much in comparison to him, like we dont know each other that well at all, idek his real name and yknow. If he actually enjoys talking to me) and yea

So now everyone in the 14th century peasant larp class knows my terrible terrible secret:))):)

[cherryonigiri]

nanami kento [evenings with you]

nanami kento x reader || cw: descriptions of blood/injuries, light angst

a/n: this is just self-indulgent writing for me but i'm v stressed about school rn and this is the result. just imagine that y/n is a bio/medical phd candidate lol.

Nanami can tell that you're stressed. Usually you savor the nights he's not on overtime, asking him about work and refusing to leave his side for most of the evening. He's used to you being attentive, so the fact that you've asked him the same question twice within the last ten minutes is already setting alarm bells ringing in his head. You're constantly fiddling with something, or flashing furtive glances towards the bedroom when you think he's not paying attention.

It only gets worse after dinner. You insist on washing up, something about how you want him to 'enjoy his night off.' Nanami compromises, silently grabbing a towel and drying the dishes. It's clear that your mind is elsewhere. Your hands scrub the porcelain on autopilot, and he can hear you muttering under your breath.

Every now and then you'll mutter a list of tasks under your breath. Nanami remembers you mentioning that things were hectic in lab. You're almost always still working when gets home from work, even when it's well past when you eat your dinner. It's clear that you've had a busy day-- the apartment is far more cluttered than it usually is. There are post-it and pieces of scrap paper stuck to every single surface, and a forgotten pile of folded laundry rests on the couch.

An intense burning sensation across your palm causes you cry out. "Shit!" You drop the knife you were washing in favor of cradling your already bleeding hand. Nanami is instantly by your side, firmly pressing the dishcloth against your cut. There is a worrying amount of red seeping into the fabric, so he silently ushers you to the bathroom.

It's a strange reversal of roles. He's used to being the one leaning leaning against the counter while you bandage his wounds. Instead, it's you who is perched on the marble surface, wincing as he dabs an antiseptic soaked cotton ball against your injury. "Sorry, I'm almost done," he says when you let out a loud hiss.

"It's fine," you reply, sheepishly looking away. "I should have been paying more attention."

Nanami chooses to only respond with a nonchalant hum, focusing on cleaning your palm. The two of you sit there in comfortable silence while he applies ointment to the cut, adding gauze once he's finished. It's only when he reaches for the bandages that he decides to ask. "What's stressing you out?"

Your eyes widen as you realize you've been caught. Nanami is rarely home early these days, especially since he's been mentoring Itadori on behalf of Gojo. (Not that you mind - in the few times you've met Itadori through video call with Nanami, the pink-haired student's sunny disposition has never failed to cheer you up.) When he'd texted you saying he'd be home by dinner, you'd jumped at the opportunity to spend some much needed time with him. You'd pulled out the stops, cooking something a little fancier, and intent on spending the earlier part of the evening cuddling with him. Secretly, you had planned to sneak out of bed after he'd fallen asleep (he always goes to bed early on days like these) and finish preparing for the gauntlet of meetings and presentations you had tomorrow. It was your fault for putting off the tasks, and you didn't want to let your own bad habits get in the way of some quality time with your boyfriend.

"It's nothing, I just have a lot on my plate tomorrow." You do your best to laugh it off, but quickly trail off once when you catch Nanami's deadpan expression. He's always been too good at seeing through your white lies. "I put off some work..." A raised eyebrow from him prompts you to continue, "And I was planning on doing it after you went to bed..." You can't help it when your face scrunches into a pout. After all, now your carefully-laid deception has been revealed.

When Nanami bursts into amused chuckles, you're momentarily surprised, but quickly go back to sulking. "Stop laughing at me Ken!" you whine, "I'm a--"

"Self-aware procrastinator," he finishes your sentence with an amused grin. "I know love, I know. I've seen you write far too many papers within 24-hours of a deadline to be surprised." He presses an affectionate kiss against your wrist.

You scowl at your boyfriend, snatching your bandaged hand away from his grasp. "I'm glad that my suffering is entertaining for at least one person." You stomp back to the bedroom in faux-anger, smiling when you hear Nanami's footsteps not far behind you.

When he steps into the bedroom Nanami drapes his frame over your shoulders, his warm torso nestled against your back. "It is one of your more...endearing traits," he murmurs into your ear before pressing a kiss into the crook of your neck. You can feel your cheeks and ears tingle at his words of affection.

"Sometimes you can be such a sweet talker," you mumble to yourself while you change into your pajamas. This week it's been an old Jujutsu tech hoodie and a pair of well-worn athletic shorts.

"Only for you," Nanami replies while he undoes the buttons of his outfit, chucking his tan pants and blue button up into the laundry basket in the corner. He dons a pair of sweatpants before returning your side to recapture you in another affectionate hug. It's a well kept secret of the Kento-Y/N household that Nanami Kento likes to lounge around shirtless in the privacy of his apartment. (You've been sworn to secrecy, but only because your boyfriend claims that Gojo and the students would have a field day teasing him if this information were to be made public amongst the jujutsu sorcerer community.)

Turning around, you wrap your arms around his waist, burying your nose against his torso and taking in his comforting scent. It's been so long since the two of you have had a moment to yourselves, and for once your hectic thoughts are silenced in favor of sharing a moment of calm bliss with Nanami. He hums in appreciation, thumbs rubbing soothing circles against your hips.

"Do you want to watch anything tonight?" you ask after a few seconds of silence.

"No," he replies. "I was actually planning on reading the briefing Ichiji just sent me. Gojo apparently has another scheme up his sleeve." You giggle when your boyfriend lets out a pained sigh. On more than one occasion, your boyfriend has ranted to you about Gojo's unorthodox approach to exorcism. "I swear that idiot shaves a year off my lifespan every time I go on a mission with him," Nanami complains. "He's taking away the years I could spend in Malaysia."

You hum thoughtfully before responding, "Then do you mind--"

Once again, Nanami already knows what you're going to say. "Just remember to bring your laptop charger, I know you have a thousand tabs open on your computer right now," he says while exiting to the living room. After a few moments you join him, overburdened laptop and charger in hand. You both take your usual spots in the living room, him resting comfortably in the center of the loveseat and you sitting on a floor cushion, nestled between his legs. Soon you've fallen into a groove, fingers steadily typing on the keyboard. The warmth of Nanami's presence next to you brings a sense of calm, giving you the grounding focus you need to finish off the last of your tasks.

As he thumbs through the printouts Ichiji gave him, Nanami can't help but let his eyes drift towards you every now and then. You look so adorable when you work. From the way your brow furrows whenever you reread a line, to the way you unconsciously chew on your lip when you scrutinize your draft for any errors. Every now and then he'll gently run his fingers through your hair, relishing the content sighs you let out in response.

It only takes about another hour before you're (finally) closing all your tabs (he still doesn't know why your laptop hasn't crashed yet). As you scroll through social media, your head begins to droop. Soon enough you've fallen asleep, breaths coming in soft and even puffs as you rest against his thigh. Smiling to himself, he puts down his papers and gently lifts your body from the floor. He's careful not to wake you as he slowly makes his way back to the bedroom.

Setting you on the bed, he tucks you under the blankets before lying beside you. The moonlight coming through your window softly illuminates your relaxed features, and he softly traces the outline of your face with his thumb. As he continues to caress your cheek, his eyes are drawn to the dark circles under your eyes. He rarely falls asleep after you these days - between his physically demanding occupation and the ever growing number of things you are responsible for at work- he's often the first to fall asleep from sheer exhaustion while you work well into the night. Not to mention that he's had to spend an increasing number of nights away from you, either on challenging missions or accompanying Gojo's students. And while he knows most of your stress comes from being a student, he can't help but feel guilty about all the additional distress his status as a jujutsu sorcerer has caused you.

When you started dating him, you insisted that Shoko teach you how to suture. He hates how much your stitches have improved since then. The neatness of your stitches is a constant reminder of how much you've endured because of him. When he hears you trying to muffle your sobs into a pillow, he swears he can feel his heart crack in his chest, hurting more than any kind of physical wound from battle. Those nights end with him holding you tightly to his bandaged chest, murmuring reassurances and affection into the crown of your head until you've calmed down enough to fall into a fitful sleep. Even when you're unconscious he'll still continue, words morphing into apologies for the sadness he's inflicted upon your shoulders.

Feeling his eyelids being to droop, Nanami presses one last kiss against your forehead before laying down. He wraps his arms around your waist, surrounding you with warmth, hoping that his presence will be enough to keep your nightmares away, at least for tonight. I love you, y/n is the last thought he has before he drifts away, ready to dream of a tropical sunset and a peaceful future with you by his side.