#but i needed to write additional backstory to make them fucked up enough to do that AND a situation to gET them to do that.

[doctorwhoisadhd]

im at almost 7.1k words in my 12jack sequel

[lurkingshan]

Dead Friend Forever is a Marvel of Mystery Writing

I haven’t been watching Dead Friend Forever live, because I am not always that into the slasher genre and I figured I would wait to hear whether it holds up before jumping in. I admit, I was a bit dubious about a drama sustaining a slasher narrative for 12 entire weeks and didn’t want to spend time on something that might be too shallow to sustain and would end up falling apart. I basically told bestie @wen-kexing-apologist to vet it for me and holler if I needed to start paying attention. And a few weeks ago, they started poking me with increasing intensity, along with a few other friends, because the writing was holding up better than they could believe. I started asking questions, and once @ginnymoonbeam mentioned that Sammon was the writer, it all started to click and I dove into a binge to catch up.

And they were right! This show is excellent, and its strength is sourced in an incredibly strong script from a writer who knows how to construct a longform mystery. Because it turns out, that’s what this show actually is. How do you sustain a slasher for 12 weeks? By embedding a deeper mystery within the slasher framework and pacing your story so that the entire middle delivers a backstory narrative that is even more compelling than the current events. This show is expertly structured to grab your attention and then get you deeply emotionally invested in the coming bloodbath, which is crucial for a slasher to feel like it has any stakes. Let me also note that the excellent writing here is supported by extremely smart direction and editing and some standout performances from young actors. I am going to focus on the writing here because that’s what I do, but it should be said that this whole production is all around excellent. 

So let’s talk about why the writing in Dead Friend Forever works so well! Great drama mysteries should support two kinds of engagement from the viewer: 

no thoughts head empty engagement from the people who just want to be pulled along for the ride and be constantly surprised

red string board theory engagement for the people who enjoy finding clues and trying to solve the mystery in advance. 

It’s actually really fucking hard to thread this needle as a writer, because it requires seeding strong enough clues that attentive viewers could reasonably guess some of the big reveals, but not giving away so much that you are unable to surprise them. A reveal in a good mystery should have you saying “oh my god WHAT” and “of course, that makes perfect sense” at the same time. And the best mysteries support the viewer being able to go back and rewatch, find new meaning they missed the first time, and realize every single thing that happened adds up. A tight mystery has no loose ends and no false steps; it never lies to the viewer, it only works to draw your attention where it wants it at any given point in the story.

Dead Friend Forever does this masterfully with several of its reveals, but I will highlight the biggest example: the reveal of Phee and Non’s relationship in episode 7. In the first four episodes of the show, the story lets us in on a few crucial facts: Phee is newer to this friend group (along with Tan and White), he was not present for whatever went down with Non three years ago, he has some kind of fucked up not!friends with benefits relationship with Jin that involves lots of sexual tension and dick biting, and he seems interested in figuring out what the hell happened once all these dudes start acting crazy about the videos. The string board theorists had enough to go on there to reasonably guess that he was intentionally trying to uncover the truth—but not why—and the no thoughts head empty crowd could just vibe, enjoying his scenes with Jin and wondering how exactly he ended up hooking up with him and getting involved with this group of people he doesn’t even seem to like.

Once we get to the backstory and see Non’s narrative, additional clues emerge, like the existence of both an older brother and a mysterious sweetheart that is only saved as [heart emoji] in Non’s phone. No thoughts head empty is over here going huh I wonder who they’re gonna be and hey when are the rest of the characters going to show up; string board theorists now have two clear options for how Phee could tie in to Non’s story and why he might care enough to investigate, but no one knows for sure. So when the show ended episode 6 with Phee running into Non’s room and began episode 7 with The Most Effective Five Minute BL Of All Time, everything clicked into place. No thoughts head empty got to experience a very pleasant shock moment, the string board theorists got to feel satisfied that they figured out at least part of the reveal, everyone got to enjoy an unexpected shot of romance in the middle of this stressful narrative, and there were still parts of Phee’s motives and involvement with this group that we didn’t understand and would require additional reveals. That is great mystery writing in a nutshell.

And it’s not only the mystery construction that makes the writing here so smart. It’s also the way Sammon is weaving in tons of social commentary, embedding Thai cultural and religious values, incorporating complicated crimes with lots of players in the mix that somehow don’t get confusing, and drawing complex and nuanced characters whose choices and behavior you understand even if you find them abhorrent. It’s not easy to make a viewer both despise a character and still care what happens to them; when you write a story about despicable people you run the risk of inspiring apathy in the audience, which is a death knell for a mystery. We have to be invested for this story to work. We have to feel deep empathy for Non to the point that we fully support axe murdering his bullies, but we also have to be interested enough in the bullies and why they behave the way they do to watch 12 weeks of them running around being awful to each other and harming everyone in their paths. And Non, too, gets to have real complexity. He is not a perfect little Mary Sue who never does anything wrong. He makes big impulsive mistakes, and seeks attention and affection from the wrong people, and lies to the ones he loves, and doesn’t always ask for help when he needs it. He is a flawed human being and that’s so important, because he is the center of this story and we need him to feel real.

In conclusion: holy shit. I tip my hat to you, Dr. Sammon, and I am very excited to be on this ride for the final four episodes. 

[utilitycaster]

How about Fearne? For how the cr fandom treats her own trauma, because I’ve noticed a lot of people slowly getting rid of her agency for the sake of infantilizing her or only paying attention to her for shipping purposes……

So this one is interesting because Fearne's backstory does not specifically strike me as capital T Traumatic, but obviously that's subjective. Obviously I think she is deeply affected by her parents and the realizations she was lied to by everyone, but she didn't come in with that damage, and I think any trauma she has accumulated has been in-game (especially since that's when those familial realizations happened, with another one being set up). The deaths of Orym and Laudna and what just happened with Ashton feel more traumatizing to me. Or in other words, when I had a mental list of "characters with trauma" in mind, Fearne wasn't really part of that consideration, which could perhaps be a commentary on how I am myself minimizing her experience.

Reduction of agency for shipping purposes is a whole different thing. I don't think people tend to infantilize as an end goal - usually that's for shipping purposes too, ie, reduction of agency and infantilization go hand in hand - and I also don't feel Fearne is per se infantilized so much as made into an agency-less shipping doll by some. I think earlier it was people who shipped her with Ashton (the Fandom wiki article for their relationship is...bad, and that's with the knowledge that she does have a crush) but also it feels like Fearne is often used by people as a cudgel against other characters they don't like. Like, again, part of why despite their fantastic chemistry Ashton/Fearne didn't grab me until episode 77 is because in addition to them only having one real conversation prior to that (which was intriguing but not quite enough as a hook), so much of the fanon surrounding it felt either cribbed from some manic pixie dream girl narrative or else truly mean-spirited towards Chetney (to the point that a hate of Chetney felt more the point of these people's shipping than a desire to see Fearne and Ashton together). Meanwhile, right now, I think a lot of people leaping to the "Fearne did nothing wrong and was manipulated" assumption are just people who fucking hate Ashton (and in some cases, Taliesin) and see Fearne as a convenient figure to hide what is ultimately just straight-up bad faith.

Writing it out, I actually am coming around to the idea that Fearne fits a model more like Caduceus, in which there is a relatively quiet trauma that translates mostly to not stating one's own needs, and that tends to fit the second model in my previous ask, of the specific subtype "why isn't anyone asking them what they want? Why isn't anyone talking to Fearne?" and ignoring the fact that Fearne is a grown-ass adult and voicing her needs is something that she needs to do for herself, ie, this could have been prevented if she told Bells Hells "I don't want the shard, at all, do not make me take it." So: secret new option of type 2 for her defenders, type 1 for her detractors.

[eyedelater]

demon slayer notes

i started watching demon slayer, without having read the manga, at the urging of a family friend who is new to anime and insists it's extremely good. here are my thoughts on the anime and then the entire manga through to its end.

in this post, i appended followup notes to some points upon revisiting them because i had to make sure to go back and tell my past self what happened.

i watched episodes 1 through 20 without writing anything because i wasn't planning to. i watched many of those episodes on my phone, which is unusual for me, but i was traveling at the time. so i probably missed some finer visual details.

my impression of the show before i started, from having skimmed the start of its wikipedia page some months ago, was that it seemed to be relatively high quality but very formulaic Standard Shounen Fare, and it did not catch my interest. after watching 20 episodes, that opinion hasn't really changed. so many of the elements of the show are typical and just barely riff on extremely basic tropes. i'm sure there are many people who argue that demon slayer in fact drastically and ingeniously transforms those generic shounen tropes, but i'm not so sure about that. [followup note: the story does improve in terms of nuance later on, but i'm not retracting this paragraph.]

they did kind of an amazing job on the anime in terms of animation and effects. i should really rewatch those first 20 episodes on my computer screen so i can better appreciate it.

tanjirou is a very, very good boy. almost too good. where are his flaws? his internal monologues are always so apt. almost too apt. his backstory is of course compelling, but he hasn't won me over quite yet… i do like his headbutts, though… [followup note: i guess his flaw is his penchant for excessive self-sacrifice? which is one of those job interview "flaws" that is more likely to be a virtue.]

i'm looking forward to nezuko having more and more agency as the story progresses.

i'm looking forward to zenitsu learning to shut the fuck up more and more as the story progresses. i do have to give his voice actor a lot of credit for going completely all-out every time and never holding back.

i immediately love inosuke because he's a dumb bastard.

will tomioka giyuu fill the hayakawa aki-shaped hole in my heart by not being doomed? [followup note: not really. good for him not being doomed though!]

the art style is so samefacey… golden kamuy spoiled me…

the demon slayer corps seems to think it's hot shit and have many, many levels of hierarchy, but they're disorganized enough to regularly and greatly underestimate the threat of demons such that they keep sending their own fighters to their deaths. they need to work on their intelligence gathering, if nothing else.

all the hashira seem to care an awful lot about the life of the hypothetical person hypothetically killed by nezuko, but their organization is sloppy and heartless in its deploying of weak demon slayers. is this clumsy writing with plot holes, or is it a hint for the astute as to the organization's dirtiness and disorder? [followup note: i want to say it was the former or i guess neither. the master turns out to be really humble and kind to his hashiras. did he not grasp how bad a job they were doing wrt casualties?]

i like how sanemi's eyes continue to look insane even when he's calmly using polite speech

"My arms and legs are really short right now." ~zenitsu while his arms and legs are really short

i do hope boys watch this and come away with the idea that tanjirou's habit of intense and unconditional kindness is cool.

i did like when the girls told zenitsu to his face to be respectful to girls and he was humbled. [followup note: i discovered this was added into the anime and not present in the manga. good addition]

the last few seconds of the OP for the mugen train arc make it seem like rengoku is gonna die. (explicitly prepares my heart for that)

by the way, after the first season ended and we're on to the next arc, inosuke is still the best. i don't do it myself, but i enjoy watching others live life with true wild abandon. i really enjoy his kind of annoyingness more than zenitsu's.

rengoku is committed to never breaking eye contact with the camera

in ep2 of the train arc, tanjirou said "and where are you looking?!" (in japanese) to rengoku, but they translated it as "and when did you get so big?!" because i guess they felt like it would be a better visual joke because they animated rengoku really big? but they should've kept the "where are you looking?" because it's funny that tanjirou addressed what i was already thinking and had in fact written in the previous point. they did it twice in one episode too. is this going to be something we learn about rengoku? that he doesn't look at people? i thought we saw him look at people… [followup note: it's not. also the same joke was in the manga so they especially should have translated it right.]

rengoku said that black sword bearers never know which thing to master. obvious flag for "tanjiro's going to master them all of them and be the biggest baddest hashira in shounen history." too obvious (if i'm right) [i was wrong]

who's gonna tell gotouge-sensei that headbutts don't make your head bleed

prediction: kibutsuji targeted tanjirou's family because of their ancestry and some great prophecy about how that bloodline is fated to someday defeat him. he killed everyone who was home but thought that had to be all the kids because there were so many. he turned nezuko into a demon just to see what would happen and/or because he did actually remember the right number of kids and he wanted her to kill tanjirou. it may also turn out that kibutsuji was responsible for tanjirou's dad's death and/or the scars on both their heads. [followup note: i was wrong about a lot of this, but he did target them for their bloodline]

tanjirou gathered the courage to slit his own throat waaay too easily and quickly.

the netflix translator for the subs for the first few episodes (at least) of the train arc is taking far too many liberties for my liking. i wonder if the subs are different on crunchyroll, which i don't have. i should note that the first 20ish episodes i watched, i watched on a non-netflix non-crunchyroll site and i guess they were fan subs. but i didn't notice anything wrong with those subs.

"I fused my being with this entire train!" ok i've been giving this anime some shit for being predictable, but credit where credit is due, i did not expect that. that's really funny. i hate Lower One's voice btw.

i can tell that some, if not all, of the move names characters shout out are puns like the move names in one piece, but because there are no translation notes, i can't understand them :( [followup note: there aren't any in the official translation either :( and i looked up an unofficial translation and it didn't have any either :( i guess when i'm done with the manga i'll look at a wiki for the move name meanings… of course i dare not look at a wiki when spoilers are still a concern…] [followup followup: didn't care enough before posting this to look at the move name meanings]

anyone who has read my blog, you know what i'm gonna say about nipples, right? it's obvious, right? about inosuke's and others' empty chests. it's obvious. people will be like "you want explicit nipples depicted on the chests of TEEN BOYS?" no i want minimal abstract representations of nipples because everyone has them and it's normal and it's weirder to see a blank aladdin chest. this is about NIPPLE POSITIVITY. i will die on this hill time after time

if two guys are fighting a train together and they synchronize their breathing, is it gay

i liked when inosuke gently set injured tanjirou back down. character development

ok i REALLY dislike the netflix subs for these episodes. don't ADD shit. it's simple. just don't. you have to respect the author. you have to respect the author.

i prepared myself for rengoku's death. thanks for the hint, train arc OP. i see now that he was introduced to serve the purpose of character development for tanjirou.

the appeal of a stone-faced character like tomioka giyuu is twofold: a) they look cool all the time, and b) you develop a desire to see them emote.

tanjirou's gonna get yelled at for losing his sword again…

i like how akaza made it a point to beat up tanjirou's sword. to give us viewers closure as to whether tanjirou was gonna get that sword back.

i feel like i've seen an oversized amount of fanart involving rengoku, given the length of his lifespan in the show. (nothing i looked up, but just by osmosis.) is this like a portgas d. ace situation? i hate shipping ace with anyone because he's dead. or could it be that the character i've seen around was actually senjurou? doubtful

zenitsu's VA is doing a good job, like i said, but i bet zenitsu is a lot more lovable in the manga where you don't actually have to listen to him losing his shit…

i'll officially be mad if anything happens to inosuke.

uzui's three weed-smoking girlfriends…

so the boys are not even just infiltrating the houses of pleasure but they're aiming for the rank of oiran

tanjirou's bad lying face can't compete with luffy's bad lying face… sorry… [followup note: it was better in the manga]

inosuke who can get ahold of himself well enough to actually stfu and act like a girl… excellent

yeah fuck the translator for these netflix subs in the entertainment district arc too. you can't just write whatever you think would sound cool for their lines.

i have to find out the japanese for inosuke's catchphrase "comin' through" (according to this translation). wait i should just turn japanese captions on. ……there are no japanese captions… gimme a break…

they're literally in japan, literally wearing traditional japanese clothing, and they translate "obi" into "belt" instead of leaving it as is. am i overestimating how many people would know what an obi is........?

i do think it's a smart and interesting decision to explicitly section the anime into arcs instead of seasons, or rather, you could say, putting season breaks only at arc breaks. very smart.

uzui's own wife calls him tengen-sama? red flag

you know, i did have one major misconception about this story. i thought that the fact that yaiba is in the name would mean that tanjirou would inherit some particular sacred demon-obliterating blade and it would play a major part in the story (a predictable trope). but tanjirou in fact keeps destroying his swords. maybe that will actually happen later. [followup note: it didn't really. i mean tanjirou gets his one good sword later, but it's not like the sword is what wins the fight for him or anything.]

looked at tanjirou and thought "deku" tally: ||||||||||||||||||||||||

this story sure does have a lot of the protagonist's internal monologue. that's somewhat unusual for shounen, i feel like. is tanjirou just conjuring up text boxes all the time in the manga? i guess i'll have to read it after this… for completionism. [followup note: it seems the manga has an unnamed narrator who sometimes chimes in and they excluded that from the anime completely, instead relying on a combination of show-don't-tell and tanjirou narrating instead. not a bad choice.]

nezuko bit through her gag, which was really good, but she didn't immediately start talking, which is what should have happened. to remind us that she can. other demons can talk. [followup note: i see now that she is apparently left in a childlike state and has to relearn talking. ok]

(watches nezuko shrink back from grownup mode) self-infantilizing imouto…

ok, i figured out that the subs are just the lines from the dubs. that means my ire lies with whoever translated the lines for the netflix dubs. that's right, i'm not just gonna excuse it because i was mistaken about the source.

tanjirou looking at ezui and seeing rengoku's head appear next to him is 100% a death flag. his three weed-smoking wives are gonna mourn him at the end of this arc. it's gonna be the start of a pattern of tanjirou getting scarred by the loss of hashira after hashira right in front of him. [followup: glad for tanjirou that this didn't happen.]

by the way, i bet someone out there has something smart to say about uzui's three wives and what they mean for feminism. i don't care to think about it very hard though. but i know someone does.

zenitsu is conveniently asleep for a very long time in this very long battle

the budget for this anime must have been SO high. or the animators were seriously overworked. because there is so much love and so much hard work put into what seems like EVERY single shot. it's incredible. like some of these shots there's no logical need to go so hard but it's just sooo consistent that every shot has to have a life-changing amount of work put into it. i can't get over it.

(after entertainment arc ep9) i said i would be pissed if anything happened to inosuke, and i meant it. we'll see what happens from here. if inosuke dies, i'm not reading the manga. because i'm stubborn.

gyuutaro called tanjirou a bonkler…

this battle was already frustratingly long and now the defeated gyuutaro's dead defeated corpse had to release one last extremely destructive attack? according to what logic?

i like when nezuko has tanjirou on her back for once. reverse sibling onbu

this smells a lot more like hunter x hunter than hero academia or one piece. in terms of the character designs, to some degree, and everyone's penchant for talking a lot, and vibes. and i'm saying "smells" in my own way and not in a tanjirou way, okay?

they have IVs in the taisho era? with saline? i don't know anything about history.

does everyone in the sword village need the hyottoko mask? at all times?

i can tell by the OP of the sword village arc that demons will attack the sword village.

i really like the artistic choice of letting characters emote through their masks if necessary.

this son of a bitch has poison too? isn't this getting old?

i liked the little episode preview where kanroji is asked how she sheaths her sword and the answer is she simply just does. very good

of course even haganezuka turns out to be a hottie (rolls eyes emoji)

i don't want to call out gyokko here, but he could just put muichirou in the water vase again.

kibutsuji looks a lot less laughable without his stupid fucking hat.

so demons started existing because kibutsuji took weird medicine from his doctor?? [followup note: I Guess So.]

i guess i have to give gotouge-sensei credit for really sticking with the gimmick of the whole sword village wearing those masks.

i like genya.

tokitou's soft spot for tanjirou is really cute

i caught up with the anime without writing very much. i'm still blown away by the production value. speaking of blown away, i'm curious as to what happened to 2 of kagaya's 5 apparent daughters. [followup note: they really died.]

[{{{{{{{{caught up with the anime}}}}}}}}]

[{{{{{{{{comments below concern the manga}}}}}}}}]

inosuke lived, so i started reading the manga. i'm struck by the different feeling that tanjirou gives off. manga tanjirou seems a little more serious and less perky. maybe it has to do with the line delivery in the anime shaping my view of him (though the voice actor has done a great job). i did, at the beginning of the anime, get the strong early impression that tanjirou's voice was very "grown man trying hard to do a teen boy voice," and i cringed just a bit. but that feeling faded as the anime went on. i also assume the art style changes a lot as the manga progresses, such that the style resembles the anime's style more in later chapters. the anime seems to have done an amazing job of faithfully and precisely adapting the manga, at least for early chapters. i'm really jealous of the demon slayer anime on behalf of all the great mangas that got weird or lousy anime adaptations.

the babyface style of the early manga is also very strong. even giyuu looks like a little kid.

and genya's face in his first appearance is really funny. he got a glowup for the anime. whereas zenitsu looks 100% the same. i'm looking forward to inosuke's manga face.

i read a lot more of the manga without saying anything. i've gone on and on about the high quality of the anime, but i kind of feel like the manga is better. that is to say, the art feels very authentic and pure and full of love and care. manga tanjirou is just as much of a Very Good Boy as anime tanjirou, but without a certain feeling of Trying Very Hard. is it the voice?

the manga has a kind of Classic feel to it. not like it resembles any particular manga from the past, but more like, gotouge-sensei was aiming high and trying to make something evergreen. trying to forge a new classic.

and reading the manga was shocking because it's like, the anime is truly the most faithful adaptation i've ever seen. every scene feels like it's shot-for-shot-for-shot precisely what was in the manga, with every line carried over. practically nothing was left out. the spacing and timing of content was perfect; nothing was excessively crammed or stretched out. only a few things were added, like the scene with the bento sellers before the train arc (unless that came from some bonus chapter i never saw). but the additions feel normal and necessary. truly a staggeringly faithful and loving adaptation. why did they give demon slayer this exceptional treatment…? because reading the manga, it's like, this is good… but is it life-changingly good enough for them to have gone THIS all-out with the anime? i haven't decided yet. [followup note: i still haven't decided?? i might make future posts about this.]

right, demon slayer is solidly good, i would say, but on the whole, it's not quite For Me. that's because if i evaluate it by my old standby metric, the COCK test, it is decidedly NOT Completely unhinged, and there is a decided lack of Creatures. to be perfectly fair, i'm sure it Offends the church, and it does Kick ass. and really, if someone is just a bit less weirdly picky than me, this manga could change their life. but it's just not batshit insane enough to push all my buttons. i feel some hunter x hunter influence, but obviously hunter x hunter knew how to be insane enough. not that hunter x hunter does it all for me either.

it does get credit for having somewhat deeper and rounder characters than jujutsu kaisen. like at least they have an extremely strong reason to be doing what they're doing.

the manga is self-serious in a genuine way, and the anime feels self-serious in a very slightly phony way. though i don't mean they're overly self-serious. there is welcome comic relief in both. it's better in the manga but still well-translated into the anime (literal translations of the subtitles aside). and the comic relief is actually funny a lot of the time, which is more than i can say about jujutsu kaisen. this has been my obligatory shitting on jujutsu kaisen for the first time in a while. if you missed it, the story is that i gave jujutsu kaisen all the chances in the world for me to love it, but it disappointed me (and killed my favorite character for no reason).

i've been worried this whole time, not having a good sense of exactly how much chapters have been squashed or stretched, about how many chapters would remain after i caught up with the story as far as the anime went. but now i'm just about at the end of the hashira training arc (mansion just blew up) and there are still about 60 chapters left. that's sooo many. i was worried there wouldn't be much story left, but there is! that's good, because there's a lot left to explain.

i have noticed exactly what has been added to the anime adaptation. pretty much everything added was smart and suitable. although the extremely long approach of kibutsuji to kagaya's bedside was i think not so necessary. but yeah, fleshing out the training in the hashira arc a bit, going into slightly more detail on people's backstories, adding a few more character building moments, none of it feels irritating in any way. but if it turns out they added any zenitsu whining moments, that's unforgivable. there are already enough of those.

i bet huge inosuke fans were a little irritated at the casting of his voice. a true ruffian's voice that clashes to the extreme with his pretty face. i think it's pretty apt though. maybe a little too large-adult-sounding. but teenage boys are like that.

i've been reading an unofficial manga translation, not sure who it's by, and it's interesting to note which phrases were left untranslated in this compared to in the official translation. in this unofficial TL, why is oyakata-sama left as such instead of translating it to "master" when it's just a title that plainly means "master?" and in the netflix subs/dubs, why are hashira and hinokami kagura left untranslated? and yet both translated "obi" as either "belt" or "sash" when i think it could have safely been left as is. and why was "nichirin sword" left untranslated in both when you could just call it a sun blade or sun sword? is it because nichirin sounds too cool and japanese?

oh yeah, i kept thinking but kept forgetting to write: it's well known that demons are always eating humans, but we don't see them in the actual act of eating people very often at all. it seems they often like to just kill people, like weasels kill hens. for fun. but we have seem douma in the act of eating people note once but twice.

the unifying backstory of Everyone's family being killed by demons is getting a little old…

ok i remembered one bad thing the anime did. giving us that whole ridiculous nezuko montage when she was exposed to the sun and we thought she was gonna get obliterated. that was reeeally pushing it. trying that hard to fool us is just embarrassing for you.

so ubuyashiki kagaya became a father at the age of 15. no, younger, because kiriya has two (twin?) elder sisters. at least 14.

the two ubuyashiki girls did die… that's not cool… don't use them just to confuse kibutsuji…

zenitsu leveled up? zenitsu can work while awake now? maybe he'll also shut the fuck up?

…

i ended up staying up very, very late and read many dozens of chapters in one night and finished demon slayer. not the best circumstances for properly absorbing the story, but i did it anyway.

i was not prepared for genya to die and i think that should not have happened. we needed to see more of him and his future. i'll say it: it should have been sanemi instead. justice for genya.

i don't think that many hashiras needed to die… especially tokitou-kun didn't need to die so horribly... and i certainly didn't expect sanemi to be one of only 2 hashira survivors.

i guess we're just lucky that inosuke and zenitsu got away with all their limbs intact. limbs were dropping like flies for a while there.

i was satisfied with the reveal of the backstory about the tsugikuni brothers and how yoriichi entrusted his earrings and stuff to tanjirou's ancestral family.

i thought the final reveal that yoriichi's 13th move was all the other moves strung together didn't have an amazing payout in the end… did it? did i miss something big?

there was the Explicit mention, in dialogue, that kanroji and iguro and others may reincarnate happily. i wish gotouge-sensei would have allowed that to happen in the audience's imagination instead of having a timeskip chapter that shows everyone's descendants and reincarnations. it wasn't unbearable, but i didn't like it. also inosuke's descendant didn't go hog wild at all.

after reading the whole manga and no longer fearing spoilers, i finally looked up inosuke's catchphrase. i was very pleased to find out that it is chototsumoushin 猪突猛進, which is an existing four-character compound that includes the kanji for boar and means rushing recklessly (as a boar does). i knew there would be some degree of untranslatable nuance in there! the nuance is that that phrase definitely describes an undesirable act, but inosuke yells it with glee while rushing in recklessly, and that is perfect. it's like yelling "BULL IN A CHINA SHOP!" in the anime, one subtitle translation was "COMIN' THROUGH!" which is a little lifeless and completely missing any boar energy. my favorite translation is "BOAR RUSH!" because it carries the boar energy and makes it seem like he's shouting a move name when he's really just barreling around the hallway. i don't remember if i saw that one in the netflix translation or if it was a fansub. one more version i saw, in an unofficial manga translation, was "pig assault." that one's not a winner. it isn't even the kanji for pig; it's the kanji for boar. also if i had been watching the anime with earbuds it's entirely possible i would have been able to discern what inosuke was saying from the beginning, because i went back and he says it quite clearly, but that doesn't matter now.

i feel a little weird about making a whole long post about something i don't have crazy strong feelings about, but i wrote all this out, so... read my important opinions... sorry for saying "i guess" so much and using so many ellipses...

overall, i wish the ending was less bittersweet (i hate character death, as always) and dislike the timeskip chapter, but i still rate demon slayer (the story itself) as GOOD. that means it is worth watching and reading. there are several slots above GOOD on my personal rating scale, but GOOD isn't bad. it's GOOD. and that's what demon slayer is. someday i will probably rewatch and/or reread, and i'll keep up with the next anime season.

[hopetorun]

For your fic writers ask list, 7, 18, & 32 pls - a/carouselstars ♥️

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

it's a very straightforward one, i think, but i just love getting to shape a whole story and craft something coherent and complete and compelling and satisfying! it's very rewarding to have an idea of something in my head and make it into a whole thing! especially a thing that other people enjoy or connect with or moved by!

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

January 22, 2022 Rogers Place, Edmonton Flames 3 – Oilers 5

Matthew gets there first, collapses down onto the bed. He thinks about taking his pants off first, because he feels like putting on a show, but he doesn’t actually move before the door opens. Matthew still doesn’t move. Leon’s hand lands on his ass, firm, and he squeezes.

“You played well tonight,” he says. Matthew hums.

“We still can’t beat you,” Matthew mutters. It’s muffled by the pillow. Leon smacks his ass a couple times, not hard enough to hurt.

“I’m just glad we finally won a fucking game.”

A few more footsteps, and then the bed shifts and creaks as Leon drops down next to him. His arm falls across Matthew’s back, and they’re sharing a pillow. There’s a heartbeat of silence, and another, and Leon sighs, gusty.

Matthew wants—he doesn’t know what he wants. He wiggles closer to Leon, until their hips are touching. Leon sighs again, and he presses even closer to Matthew. “Tippett’s gonna get fired,” he says. “Feels shitty to be excited about someone losing their job.”

The silence after that feels heavier. Matthew doesn’t know what to say. “We dropped seven games in a row,” Leon continues.

“I know,” Matthew says.

Leon snorts. “Of course you do.”

“I pay attention.”

This time, when Leon squirms, he ends up with his head tucked against Matthew’s arm. It’s not like he’s never seen Leon tired before; long games, long season, late nights on the bed in here. But this is different. It feels like Leon wants something from him, comfort or reassurance or maybe just someone he can say this shit to.

Matthew gets his arm out from between them and manages to tangle his fingers in the ends of Leon’s hair. It’s still wet at his nape.

“They made Bouch first star tonight,” Leon mumbles.

Matthew can’t choke back his snort. “He’s a good kid,” he manages. Leon bites at the muscle of his arm. “Maybe if you were less pissy.”

(from preference)

when i first started putting this fic together, i did a lot of timeline research -- what games the flames and oilers played, the outcomes of those games, penalties, highlights, etc, but also some broader stuff like win or loss streaks going into the games, the timing of coach firings, so on. a lot of the time those details didn't really inform what i chose to do in the story, but they really clearly did here and i enjoyed being able to pull so much stuff in, even if people reading it wouldn't necessarily need to pick up on it! the repercussions of a 7-game losing streak and the emotion tied into that, plus the knowledge that tippett was in fact fired shortly after this game, gave me a nice setup for leon to be more vulnerable with matthew, and specifically to be vulnerable about something that isn't sex. and then for them to have sex that doesn't feel like it's a little bit about hockey, which is important for them!

i actually thought a weird amount about the three stars/winner's room connection for this story. a lot of fic i think pretty just uses those to determine who's doing the picking for the winner's room, but they're chosen by local media and it gets weird sometimes! i wanted there to be some discretion there, like they're suggestions but deviating from them is normal. anyway it also cracked me up that leon was not first star of this game (2g, 2a, including the gwg) and evan bouchard was (2g). also a fact that informs one meaningless line of dialogue in this scene: bouchard played 43 games for the 2015-16 london knights.

sorry to leon for making fun of him for being pissy. i do it with love.

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

i really wish i did a better job keeping track of lines i love! i ought to just record them all in a journal or something but i always get distracted. anyway i had to go on a quest to find the name of this poem bc i think about it a lot but am, as mentioned, bad at keeping up with things: rehearsal notes by len verwey, which ends with

where the script says scream a step to the side and possibly a finger touched to the mouth will do.

but also, and on a very different note, i think all the time about the dedications in the series of unfortunate events books.

[rollforimagination]

Campaign Idea

Knock Knock it’s COMMUNISM. BITCHES.

Description: You (players) sad (capitalism) so you (players) spread happiness (communism)

Tip: Make one character the DnD version of fucking Karl Marx, it doesn’t matter the class or the race but make them a philosopher/writer that’s working on writing a book about their ideals, and during the campaign they could cite some passages (the player has to read the book)

Functionality: If the player reading the book (so Karl Marx) bought the actual Das Kapital they have disadvantage on all rolls involving the book, if they have it by some “other” ways they add a d8 to the rolls.

If the player doesn’t have Das Kapital, but another player does and they give it to the player, they will have advantage on the rolls involving the book.

Tip2: You could make that, one time for long/short rest, if the DnD Marx’s player uses the book the player who gave it to them will receive either 1 inspiration point or 2d12 Temporary HitPoints, or other shiny looking stuff

Characters:

Karl Marx (Mage, y’know, using the book for two uses? Paladin, finally the communist one?)

an ex underpaid server of an inn that quit to join them (very nice if the race of the character is one of the hated ones, or even better if they’re a half tiefling half elf, doubling the racism, to add a little bit of flavour to their backstory and to the setting) (class? Either Monk or Rogue. I mean, someone who gets attacked everyday for their race? 99% of the time that shit results into being able to punch back)

An ex knight who saw how corrupted the monarchy is and it’s tired of it (additional points if it’s the big bear of the group, tall, muscled and hairy and always ready to take a hit for Karl Marx) they are the first two of the group and known each other for a long time (maybe Karl was the mage of the king?)

A Druid who was stuck in their dog-cat-animal form/someone who was cursed to be polymorphed into a dog for the last 15 years, now that the witch who cursed them has been killed they are free but unable to afford anything because for all this time they obviously didn’t had a job, and their family thinks that they died long ago so they would never believe them to be the same person (maybe also because mow they have some dog-cat-animal facial traits? Not too weird but enough to not recognise your own child) and so they have no money, and were forced to live on the streets begging for some food and money.

Tip3: Maybe now they are Shifters (the race), or Tabaxi or they still randomly transform into that animal (roll a d100 every turn of combat and after doing something that the DM or them thinks is important, on a 10 (up to 30) or lower they transform into the animal they were polymorphed for 3d8 minutes (the d100 still needs to be rolled while they’re an animal, and if they roll a “turning into the animal” number, they roll the 3d8 again and add that to the total). Also they should be able to know the language of the animal that they were since they spent 15 years as one.

An artificer who is a genius but since their inventions are not enough “profitable” or “gives too much to the poor” and “damage the economy” as some rich ass bastards always say before scrapping the idea of founding their creations. They are sick of this and just want to create things to make life better for everyone, who cares about economy and money? They sure don’t!

A warlock who once was a healer in a temple, Ka’rl revealed them (since they couldn’t leave the temple for religious purposes) that those who couldn’t afford to be healed were left to die and that they healed only those who paid an invent price before even simply entering the temple. Due to the shock, they not only lost any faith in their cause (their religion didn’t involve a God or at least not an existing one) but their anger caught the attention of a Celestial Being with whom they made a pact with to make this nonsense stop. (Maybe make that the Celestial Being proved to have the power to do so by healing everyone in the entire city, since the warlock from now on should be filled with trust issues)

An earth genasi/elf ranger, that witnessed the exploitation of natural resources by the ruling class, that hurt not only the lower class but also animals and other creatures. They now seeks to reclaim the land for the people and help Ka’rl establish a society where nature and its resources are shared equally.

A Robin Hood parody, but who steals stuff instead of money (like food and other goods) because they were the accountant of a Duke and now how to fuck up economy (double points if they become best friend with the artificer and use their inventions to steal more stuff)

Inspiration: this (sad) meme ⬇️

Thanks to @guerrillatech (and to @wizard-kisser that always reblog good materials that I feed my brain with and doesn’t even know)

[i-can-even-burn-salad]

Happy STS!

So I'm reading the second half of the Undeserved ebook, and I noticed it jumps forward in time to when Damien and Merridy are already together, which confused me a bit until I realized that the part skipped over is Glass Shards, which is a whole separate book (and which I understand you actually wrote first!)

So my question is with stories that jump around in time, how do you decide what to include where, especially when making ebooks?

Hello :D

Glass Shards I wrote in 2016, way before I knew about, or would have been brave enough to call it whump. I was just a frustrated lil baby ace, whose best plan to get two chars to talk to each other was obviously to cut someone's arm off.

When I started writing Undeserved for a monthly prompt challenge, I had no idea it would become this... big. I just looked at the prompts, found they matched what I had of Damien's backstory so far, and wanted to give it a try. And then I couldn't stop! Almost all chapters of Undeserved/Fancy Boots have been written for some kind of prompt challenge, from monthly ones to bthb.

It's not usually how I'd write a book. There's too many povs, with some being super rare (Valadan). There's chapters written twice, in different povs. There's all this unnecessary torture 😆 But eh, I decided to wrap it all up without removing anything. Like, now it existed, and someone might like it, right?

As ebook only, I would probably have kept it separate; Undeserved and "Fancy Boots" have both around 45k words, which is a nice novella length, and I do consider them the prequel and sequel to GS. But I also wanted to print them, and that means cover, back and front, fonts, blurb, chapter headers. And - no. Didn't wanna do that twice, so I put them together, and I couldn't be bothered to do the ebook differently, especially since I also offer a PDF.

Quite honestly, putting them up like that for free (it's not free for me! :) surprisingly internet things cost money!) is thankless already. In making it convenient to read, I do not have a platform to get likes, comments or even a fucking view counter, so all I can do is make it for myself.

For me it made the most sense, due to recurring characters, style and the red line of the rebels flashbacks, so I did what I wanted. Same reason I put the sunrise interlude in - because I wanted to :p Were this a published book, I'd mark it more clearly inside the book as prequel and sequel to another, but pretty much the only place to even find them is my blog.

Because it was already written (though in German), the Glass Shards outline was decided from the moment I started putting it up in English. Over the year of writing it, I did a bunch of prompt fills and stuff for additional short pieces, most of which sadly won't make it in. Again, there isn't much to decide there, they were never part of the outline, and while i might be stubborn enough to replace one of the unspecified nightmares with Heartless, I'm quite happy with the pacing of GS.

In that scope, it's unlikely it will ever happen again. Thorns and Jasmine and Twisted Thorns have some overlap, but I mostly consider the Tumblr stuff self-written fanfic 🤣 I would need a hell of a downtime to even think about putting it in epub format.

Everything else currently written or planned is self-sufficient. There's always a chance I'll write a bonus chapter or two that will remain Tumblr-only, but I am quite done with challenges for now.

[tiredassmage]

so there's a lot going on in act iii of baldur's gate. that's not news, lol. but if i don't start writing down my blorbo thoughts about it somewhere, they're gonna become as murky as my quest log trying to complete it all.

and ambrose has really, really become my blorbo for the game i think. which is fantastic, i missed him, she unlocked new gender since her first iteration i had a while ago, he is not having a great time!!! but there's some really interesting things coming together as companion questlines come to their close with her and. i need to gnaw on it like a bone. [so, spoilers naturally ahead.]

part of it requires me to do a lil bit of a setup since i haven't put a lot about her backstory in posts. i don't think i've really done any of such things, so! ambrose is my wild magic sorcerer, my sweet darling angel, my sweet bean finally attempting to leave the abusive teachings that raised her right as the whole mindflayer abduction business was seeing a massive growth spurt, and so thus added tadpole problems to trying to unlearn apologizing for existing wrong related to her magical talents in addition to changing his name and having an identity exploration era shorn of the master that raised her and trained her and her talents for a very specific purpose.

in short, ambrose is more familiar seeing himself as an ice- and lightning-magic inclined runepowder bomb who is somehow both... dangerously competent at her own magics as well as inherently incapable of truly controlling them. in short, a lot of internalized feelings of never being good enough, regardless of which path or action he decided to take. his one bastion of trust in it all was a paladin that grew up with her named ysabel - and ysabel is the one that got them both out of their home (if you can loosely call it such) and to baldur's gate in the first place. [you're going to ask me what happened to her and i'll admit right now, i have... not decided. which i also thought i would've done by this far in, but... here we are. <.>]

naturally, becoming the leader of a merry band of tadfooled misfits didn't exactly factor into that plan and it was... frankly overwhelming. and terrifying. as if everything they were encountering wasn't terrifying. ambrose can be timid. she's used to saying "yes" to things on reflex, because "no" wasn't particularly allowed. or feasible.

and in an attempt to keep nearly the whole game's worth of experience semi-short as just an introduction, ambrose has been particularly gifted at haphazardly discovering ways to do things i had not found in the previous like 200 hours of playing, lol. so, he's been challenged plenty. and a lot of it has been "do it downright fucking scared."

he fell first for shadowheart, which is not what i would've expected, but i think her 'take no shit' attitude, for... a failure on my part to think of a better way to describe it in this exact moment, does a lot for ambrose and i think... might've been part of the appeal. ysabel's guidance was... similar, though a bit softer. but they share a quality of not being willing for ambrose to simply lay down and take whatever is pushed on her. [it did, admittedly, intimidate ambrose at first. i almost didn't think they'd quite get along.] but then ambrose is also... well, kind of a sad puppy, tbh. and just. genuine in asking questions, when he does. i think... it's a slow process of trying to give to others the space she didn't quite have, growing up. this whole process of... being able to share freely that she cares, what he likes and doesn't like is... still pretty new. so it's... as helpful for her as it is trying to be helpful for his companions.

and then... gale and her are so painfully alike in circumstance, if not motivation. ambrose sees mystra's request and his battle with the orb in his chest a lot like her own training. ambrose's content of study still makes her feel more an acolyte than a soldier, but there's no denying that he was a weapon, meant to be handled as thing of war [with the resulting backfired fireball-related injuries concealed under long sleeves to accompany it]. it breaks her heart when gale sounds so resigned and defeated. ambrose doesn't want gale to resign himself to being what she was made to be by choice. but he also doesn't want gale's own ambition and rose-tinted askance of forgiveness to turn around and bite him. the fate of the crown of karsus is their most recent point of contention.

and astarion and her have been butting heads for a while now, but they've also made progress. i'm not sure they ever had a great understanding of one another, but ambrose figured enough to at least think astarion was hurting, too. just... being a vampire's snack pushed on her own fears and traumas around autonomy and control of her fate. again, astarion i think... did scare her with that whole... little incident one night at camp, but. it was important for them to have a conversation for ambrose. astarion at the time i think was still a bit allergic to being so open and vulnerable with feelings, but ambrose didn't ask to speak with him after really expecting that to change. she just needed to get across why she'd said no, and why that was important to her. he wanted astarion to stay - they are all in this together - but. he... might've gotten a fireball in the face if he'd tried again. he got a little lucky she didn't smack him with one in fright the first time. she didn't want to have to, but. she would. if it kept her feeling safe.

and i think those are the three stories i've touched on lately in act iii that are really getting me in my feelings. after a very unceremonious and startling entrance into the city that saw ambrose sign a deal with raphael - which just. agonizes me, honestly. because it's a decision she made absolutely fucking terrified. a decision he knows has no good consequences for anybody in the end. but i think it's one that came down to ambrose being more afraid of the emperor than of raphael. to be clear, he's terrified of both. but they've dealth with hellish types before on this little journey, right???

[she does not, actually, have a plan for how that's going to work out. it does, in fact, hurt and scare him that such a decision disappoints practically the entire camp.]

karlach especially oh my god i don't think i'm done crying about that reaction. ouuuuggggh. anyway. before i get entirely derailed wailing off a cliff about it. karlach thankfully has an idea and ambrose somehow pulled off the actual performance of her life lying to the emperor about making a deal at all, so stay tuned for our future visit to the house of hope to see how that all goes down.

but! we have concluded... the house of grief and cazador's palace now, so! i can now say with certainty ambrose has killed someone for her girlfriend, which is kadnfl;dsfnl; not a sentence i ever thought i'd be writing. sure, they've been in plenty of battles, but shadowheart left viconia's fate up to ambrose and... i admit i'm a little surprised he went in for a definitive kill, but also... thinking about it, i think... it is because she's seen how shadowheart has hurt so much and for so long under shar's gripping hold, and here is the person that helped facilitate that. here is someone that treated shadowheart... not exactly like how ambrose was raised, but far too similar to ignore.

and that sort of... taken with continuing to push back on gale, to question more and more plainly if that path to the crown really ends in anything good for gale, let alone the rest of them, and... still pressing astarion about right and wrong and who are we, really? is all just... a culmination of the journey. asking wyll to break his contract so soon after she caved to one with raphael felt hypocritical, but it's advice given out of a place knowing ambrose didn't make hers for the right reasons - if there is such a thing in dealing with the hells.

that deal might have been rock bottom, and i wonder if seeing these places where maybe he can still help his friends is... sort of the switch back to hope she desperately needed, especially right now. part of what i think i'd already had to start slip in regards to ambrose's deal with raphael is... it was also made in a place of there was no one 'better' in the party but her for such a role. he was already raised in a role far beyond himself, something sacrificial in one way or another. she doesn't like it, he'd been trying to finally free himself from those shackles when this all started, but she hadn't really felt like she'd made it. so it was... resignation, in a lot of ways. before the horror of what it was got a grip back on her.

and then orin got her claws around gale, and ambrose i don't think has before reacted so strongly with anger and desperation. it didn't matter in that moment what orin was capable of, only that she had gale, and ambrose needed to see him safe again. and she wasn't keen on taking on gortash - not yet. the foundry is... a lot to go up against, and... somehow strolling into a den of murderers felt really possible in that moment of anger - more so than strolling into gortash's office for more than a chat or taking on the entire city, it felt like, in going after the steel watch. and this... came up before i'd turned sights on actually going after viconia and cazador, so that. might have played into those decisions, too, i reckon.

maybe ambrose has finally given up enough. maybe she's done with being scared, being bound to that expectation that she is, that he should be. sure, plenty of enough of what they have yet to do is scary, it is no walk in a park with cake, but... these are his friends. none of them have turned away from him even with a less than stellar choice this far in. she still has shadowheart, and halsin and them have grown closer.

and i just hAVE SO MANY FEELINGS ABOUT IT. MY SWEET ANGEL... GROWTH! I THINK!

the idea of defying raphael is still. ouu that's. that's terrifying. but. but they've taken down orin now, too, right? something would have to give eventually between this deal and seeing gale's mission through anyway, right? right??? i'm rooting for her to nuke raphael. she's got this. might not know it yet, but she's got it.

[s0lar-ch3ri]

character writing time (i made my son today its so traumatized already <3)

okay so i did come up with it through a self-made prompt: we always hear about how the villain has better reasons then the hero, or the villain's goal is more just then the hero's. well, the hero realized this after a confrontation with the villain. as such, they quit working for those in charge, the ones wanting to fight for these ideals, wanting to go join the villain. however, being enemies doesn't stop when you switch sides, and the villain pushes the hero away. the hero now is a traitor to both sides, evil in the eyes of all parties involved, and a hero to none no longer.

another thing before we begin, my son aka the character i made uses it/itself pronouns and is boyflux! its unnamed, but ill come up with one later, rn its writing time (yes i built my prompt now differently, this is like the backstory to the scenario, and tw of attempts at suicide and general shitty quality of life) (adding while writing, talking badly about using it/itself pronouns (which i do use, nothing wrong with them)

you can also not look if you wanna just have your own written ideas and dont think mine would follow ours or whatever lol

Was it 7 months, 8? It didn't know. It didn't feel a need to care. Not after all it had worked for came crashing down. For 7 years, it had worked to be great. It was great. It saved people, it fought away bad guys, it was helpful to their cause. Then it opened its eyes, with help from their enemy.

"Do they want a safe city, or are they fighting for the control over it?" Marion had boomed. It normally wasn't enough, but it didn't leave it's head and it had to ask. And oh boy did that go just GREAT. It quit then and there, and in the process became a target for them to destroy. It had planned to maybe work with Marion, maybe even stay with her. But she didn't believe a word. She didn't want to listen long, and those eyes declared the message before she spoke it.

"Leave before I make you."

For 7 years, it was a respected individual. In these 7 or so months, it was unable to be seen as an individual by any. Out of costume and out of any shelter or anything, it had sunk lower then the care for a shot rabid dog. Maybe if it had fucking planned, it wouldn't be freaked out over any look, worrying if any food they'd get was poisoned, if the world could care for a second.

The running tired it's legs. It was tired of running. So here it was, sitting on a crummy wooden bridge, in the bumfuck area of town, where if improvements happened it came from the people's efforts. The railing creaked and it was littered with nails and glue desperately trying to hold together the pieces. The bridge's best area was how built in it was to the road, it supported it well. That didn't stop the paint peeling and uneven planks from filling one with fear. Still, the small snail painting which seemed to have new additions to it each day (new flowers, a sun, friends, anything these kids could paint) was cute. It felt fragile and strong at heart.

The rails were warm. Its hands held the plank and closed its eyes, taking it in. The noises of conversation just too far away, maybe some cars, the wind, its breaths. In, comfort and warmth and love filled itself. Out, the knowledge it couldn't be for someone like it, one who itself knows it couldn't be referred to as human. In, the musky waters about one block away from the bridge filled its brain. Out its arms went. Out its legs went. Out of this world it wished for. Holding in this final breath, even when its lungs wanted nothing more. Just like in the uppers' trainings, it thought. No pain, no gain, it thought.

In, fallen off and finally finding an answer to where the world's kindness went, it had fallen into Marion's. Her dark blue eyes reminded it of the night sky. It wondered if this was death yet.

"Now what the fuck were you doing." She was holding it so nicely. As though she'd feel pity for the rabid dog, still holding on through its pain, no matter how much it didn't want to. "God, breathe, you're not dead yet!" Without warning, it felt a quick flat blow to the stomach, forcing it to let go of whatever air it tried to hold just a little longer.

"Maybe I should have used rope, heh." It's voice was shakey and louder then it wanted.

"Well, I'm grateful you didn't." There was a moment of silence between the two. It's head just looked up at the stars, barely visible.

"...You weren't lying. You weren't trying to deceive me or whatever shit."

"...I guess."

"Why did you go talk to me first?"

"...Don't know, felt right." It lied there.

"Hey," grabbing its cheek and tilting its head down. "I may not fully fucking trust you, but your staying with me for now. If this whole thing was a trick, then fuck you, but I sadly can't let somebody try that again. Not when it's y...someone with good information on those fuckasses." Morian chose her words carefully, as though one mess up and itd try again.

Grabbing her hand, it knew this was probably how itd be going. No way people change heart so easily. Yet, it couldn't lie on this, it was one of the most pleasant kidnappings it had been apart of.

[yandere-monoma]

on the subject of this, re: the inherent strilonde incest fetish gene

i think dave (and rose, honestly) have both suffered with an intense blurring of emotional and sexual lines between themselves and their guardians that's created at least one era/phase of having some sort of huge underlying attraction/crush on them that they quickly diverted into something else the second they acknowledged those feelings for what they were (dave into idolation and rose into resentment, respectively)

sidenote: when will my brain let me write lalondecest

and i think that's one of those things that dave both HEAVILY projects onto harry (aided by the fact that he is absolutely right in his guess that harry shares a similar inclination towards john) and something that really baffles him about harry as a person because i dont think that dave really can accept that harry's trauma... 'counts'... or rather, dave looks at his past incesteous affection for bro as a chicken or an egg scenario (what came first, the grooming or the fetish for all things incest??? did my crush on bro aid in me getting groomed or did i get groomed into a crush on him???) where he's more or less accepted that the latter is the correct and right answer and that he's valid in having experienced that, because it wasnt his fault if bro acted towards him first. but he doesn't see john initiating with harry and he doesnt see harry undergoing any additional sexual abuse or explicit grooming (besides what he's done himself) or even the isolation with only one other human during a very important neurodevelopmental period so he's just... BAFFLED by how they could have reached the same conclusion about what they need in their relationships. like he just does not GET how harry's wires got so identically crossed when their experiences couldnt be more different. and he hates it cuz it makes him doubt the nice and neat answer he had finally landed on and it just... makes him feel so hopeless when it comes to family and how good one can be

interesting too because i think harry's approach to his frustration towards john is actually very similar to how i see rose's relationship with her mother. resentment building precisely because of all the (admittedly, fucked up!!!) things they just wouldnt commit to doing even though they can (allegedly) SEE that they WANT to.

another sidenote: my lalondecest hcs range from them only having a one-time encounter that rose resents for the lack of follow-through and repeat instances to their relationship mostly being defined by sporadic kisses and fondling and the resentment coming from never going all the way and thus never feeling like her trauma 'counted' cuz it was only molestation (insert the complicated struggle of understanding your trauma is severe but it never feeling severe or extreme enough, especially in comparison to a friend's backstory HOO)

[shurisneakers]

harmless (ix)

Summary: Bucky volunteers to go stop a small time villain, but nothing can prepare him for what exactly he has to deal with. (Bucky x villain!reader, drabble series)

Warnings: cursing, sex jokes, frustrated bucky, dramatic reader, anxiety

Word count: 3.9k

A/N: a lot of requests came in last week, so cool and thank you for sending them in!! i’ll try my best to write them if they weren’t originally what i had planned for this series bc they’re so cute kfjdghdf. also hey shoutout to @i-reblog-fics-i-like​ for suggesting the backstory thing! 

here’s my ko-fi if you’d like to support my writing <333

Additional Scene   || Previous Part  || Series Masterlist

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Somehow it bypasses Bucky’s spam folder and is in his primary email. SHIELD tech is too advanced to let fake mails like this reach him and this doesn’t make sense. Unless it was one of the stupid dating websites he signed up for.

Leaving aside the obvious typo in the subject, he clicks on it, hoping it doesn’t unleash a virus onto his computer. 

He’s instead greeted with a poorly Photoshopped picture of you at a bar with a martini in your hand. He doesn’t have to look too hard to see that the martini is, in fact, an emoji. Off to a terrible start already. 

Right beside it is an even worse image, an imitation of an early Internet chat box.

Harbinger of Doom just sent you a message! 

Come to the empty lot near lair. Bring goggles. 😩💦

Decline/Accept

He wants to strangle you. 

______

“Why did you curse my eyes so early in the morning?” He spots you at the top of the lair, speaking loudly so that it hopefully reached you. 

“What?” you yell back down instead. “If you’re saying something, I can’t hear you.”

He rolls his eyes. He pulls his phone from his pocket and presses on your contact. 

He watches the look of confusion morph into one of slight surprise when you reach into your pocket and pull out your call.

“Don’t ever send an image like that to me again,” he says directly.

“If that one image is too much for you, how will we ever make our sex tape?”

His mouth opens and shuts like goddamn fish.

He can hear your laughter even without the phone.

“First of all- stop laughing- first of all, a sex tape is never going to happen. Second of all, I have a debriefing to go to, we need to make this quick.”

He holds up a finger when he sees you begin to say something. By the look of trouble painted all over your face, he knows it’s going to be a dumb innuendo. 

“Thirdly, why are you standing there?”

“I watched The Last Airbender,” you say once your cackling dies down.

“I like that show.” He did. Peter sometimes watched it when he came over and Bucky more often than not joined in.

“I know, you told me.”

Oh. 

“Okay, what now?” 

“Put your goggles on.” You take one step towards the ledge. 

“What are you doing?” The goggles don’t do anything to shield him from the sun, considering that they’re not tinted. Maybe he could invest in those.

You send him a smile, taking a step further. His walk towards the building turns into a jog, then a sprint when you’re basically standing on the edge.

You spread your arms out like Jesus Christ himself before flinging yourself off the building. His stomach drops.

His phone falls to the ground, discarded to the side as he sprints to break your landing. 

It never comes. 

Instead, a gust of wind smacks him in the face, forcing him a few steps backwards. 

“I am now an air bender.” your eyes shone. “Kind of.”

Just like that, the show was ruined.

He wipes the dust on from his glasses that he now understands why you made him wear. Considerate, for a person who nearly just gave him a heart attack. 

“Why.” It’s not even a question, just a statement. 

“You know how the Tower has a giant ‘A’ on the side?” 

He stares at you. 

“I‘m gonna spray paint ‘asshole’ on the side of it.”

Pepper would not like that. 

“That’s not even evil.”

“Yeah, but it’d annoy your super friends,” You do a flip midair, testing out the repulsors that were tied around your palms, “and I’m the voice of the people.”

You’re too high for him to reach. He doesn’t have his tools, or anything useful on him considering that he never had to use them before. He couldn’t even launch himself at you from the side of the building because you’d just move out of the way. He could jump really high but it would just have the same consequence.

He could talk and keep you distracted but that worked once, it wouldn’t again. At least not for long. 

Fuck, he really had only one option. 

He leaves you to do your somersaults and turns, walking over to where he dropped his phone. It’s an upgrade from the brick he was using a while ago, but not a high end Stark model. A smartphone, but barely.

He sighs, punching in the number and holding it up to his ear.

“Who are you calling?” you yell from above him. 

“Go back to your shitty aerobics,” he yells back.

You pause for a second. “Was that a fucking pun, James Bar-”

The dial tone ends when someone picks up. He diverts his attention back to the call.

“Hey man, I-

“No.”

“You didn’t even let me finish.”

“It’s probably something stupid,” Sam doesn’t even sound annoyed, just uninterested.

“I need your wings.”

“I was right. Bye.”

It was a long shot anyway.

“Fuckin’ hold on a second.” He sees you disintegrate a concrete block by having it drop from the air. “You come here and fix this, then. She’s air bending now.”

“...like Avatar?” Sam unsurprisingly got the reference. 

Peter’s interests were usually shared by everyone in the Tower, just because they had to compensate for the teasing he had to endure. It led to a lot of geeky documentaries and occasional musicals. Bucky wouldn’t be caught dead humming songs from Thoroughly Modern Millie under his breath. 

“Yeah.”

“You want me to come and fight your girlfriend,” he says slowly. 

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Bucky urges, “and yes, I need help. Can’t exactly reach her when she’s twenty feet above me.”

“We have a briefing in 30 minutes. Why did you even go there today?”

He doesn’t know how to answer that. Just looks up at you smacking one of the repulsors against your thigh when it sputters for a second. It’s tradition. 

“Well?” Bucky ignores his question.

“Fine,” Sam’s voice is distant for a second as he agrees. “Clint’s asking if he can come too.”

“Fuck no.” One of them was more than enough and Sam was way better at negotiation. 

He hears a faint profanity from who he assumed was Clint before the call cuts.

He takes a seat on the ground and waits.

“You’re not going to make any effort to stop me?” You have your arms pressed to your side, palms pointed downwards to keep you afloat.

 “I could just throw things at you again.” He makes a mention towards the small pebbles.

“I will fuck you up if you even try,” you warn. He lifts his arms in surrender. “So that’s it. You’re just going to sit there.”

“To be honest, I couldn’t care less if you painted the building,” he says with the least amount of interest he could muster, not that that was very hard.

“Do you not like your team?” 

“I do.” He isn’t lying. “But they’re little shits.”

“I can draw a couple of dicks on their window, no problem,” you say offhandedly.

He looks up at you through his fingers. “That won’t be required.”

Although it was appreciated. 

“Cool, so then I’m gonna go.” You make a mention of the utility belt on your waist. He looks at the many spray cans that decorate it. 

“What colour are you going with?” he interrupts quickly. Fuckin’ Sam. What was the point of wings if he couldn’t get here in 2 minutes?

“Red, probably.” You look down. “I got purple and white just in case.”

“Building’s dark, red is good.”

“You really don’t care, do you?” You lower yourself down to the ground, a few feet ahead of him. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” For fucks’ sake, Sam. “You really don’t like superheroes, do you?”

“I don’t have anything against them.”

“Then why do you do this every week?”

This was wading into personal territory and he did not like it. 

“Well.” Your eyebrows knit together. “Because I want to. It’s fun.”

“No other reason?”

“Do I need to have another reason?” You push your palm downwards, sending you back up into the air. “Can’t I just be evil because I want to?”

“Sure,” he says. He’s heard worse reasons. “Why not?”

“Besides, if you think I don’t like superheroes then you should meet Jake.”

“Who’s Jake?” He hadn’t ever heard you mention him before because he’d remember if you had.

“My roommate.” 

“I didn’t see him when I came over.”

“That’s because we’re not conjoined at the hip.” It takes you a second to stabilise. “Besides, he grabbed the water while I got the bracelet but he refused to come say hi.”

Bucky looked down at his wrist. It was still there. He found himself fidgeting with it more often than not.

“He hates superheroes?”

“He has a valid reason.” Your eyes widen in worry when your head suddenly dips. 

“What is it?” He knows the height at which you’re at isn’t very dangerous but if need be, he’s close by. 

“Come find out.” Your eyes shone mischievously. “But yeah, no reason for me to be evil.”

“Not even a tragic backstory?” 

“None. But if you want it, I can give you one, Barnes.” You test the waters, seeing how long you can lie horizontally. “Can’t promise you’ll like it though.”

“Try me.” He has time to kill. He’s a good listener.

“Well, it all started with my family- a troop of gorillas.” You flip over to lie on your back. “They practically raised me, they did. Until my gorilla mother died and I was all but consumed by grief and-”

“Your mother was a gorilla?” He entertains the notion. 

“Or was it my father?” you ask thoughtfully. “I don’t know, I don’t remember. Anyway, I met a-”

“Just to clarify, none of this is real, right?” he interjects. 

You stare at him. He stares at you.

“Bucky, that’s the plot of Tarzan,” you say slowly, “or at least whatever I remember of it... which I’m beginning to realise isn’t much.”

“Just clarifying.” He leans back again.

“Anyway so then when my mother, the deer-”

“Gorilla.”

“Whatever. Was killed, I escaped to some place-”

“Where?”

“Somewhere. And I stayed with these seven men-”

“Why seven?” He actually remembers watching this movie with his sister when it came out. An early memory, a bit faded. He remembers how long he saved up for the ticket.

“Because character development. And then I realised the reason my life was so weird was because there was a rat controlling me by pulling on my hair-”

“What the fuc-”

“If you ask any more questions, I’m going to stop.”

Bucky blinks at you. “So that’s your backstory.” 

“Raw and uncut, baby.”

“Just to get this straight, your mother, the gorilla deer-”

“Witch.”

“Huh?”

“She was a witch who stole my hair.”

“Wha-”

He’s interrupted by the giant shadow cast by something that flies overhead. 

Fucking finally. 

He doesn’t even have to look up. Sam does a small glide to the ground, landing gracefully beside him.

Bucky finds you speechless but straightened up from your earlier posture.

“Buck,” Sam greets him.

“Sam,” he says in return, getting up from his place. 

A grin spreads across your face. “Mr. Sam Wilson. No way.”

“You’re Y/N, I’m assuming?” Sam offers, posture relaxed. He clearly wasn’t here to fight. 

“The one and only.” You tear your eyes away from Sam to glare at Bucky. “Barnes, if you had told me we were expecting guests, I would have dressed better.”

Bucky furrows his eyebrows in suspicion at you. You’d dress up for Sam. 

You dressed up like a suburban tourist dad for him. He was feeling the offence incoming. 

“Can’t count on him to be useful in any situation.” Alright, he did not call Sam just to have the both of you team up against him. 

“Normally I’d agree with you but he did just invite you here, so...” you trail off, looking at Sam expectantly. 

What the shit.

Sam smirks. Bucky switches rapidly back and forth between the both of you.

“I see why Buck keeps coming back every week.” It doesn’t take long for him to catch on, enlisting a feeling of triumph from you. 

“I can’t see why he doesn’t just stay at home everyday if this is the view.” You gesture to him.

This is not what Bucky wanted.

“Okay,” Bucky interrupts, “what is going on here?”

“Pure chemistry, I’d say.” You’re half tempted to bite your lip to seal the deal.

“I agree.” Sam just nods, completely and utterly serious. 

You think that you’ll give him a gift basket just for playing along despite meeting you for the first time at that moment. 

“Get a room.” Bucky rolls his eyes.

“Maybe we will.” You tap your finger against your lip in thought. “How do you feel about Indian food, Sam?”

“Very positively.” 

Bucky grits his teeth. “If you’re not planning to spray paint the Tower, can you just hand over the repulsers so we can go home for the day?”

You let out a small tsk in disapproval. “See what I have to deal with?”

“Can’t imagine how you do it every weekend,” Sam says dryly, not wasting a second in replying. 

“Hello?” Bucky waves his arm around. “She’s the villain here.”

“Your face is the villain here.” You tear your eyes away from Sam only to glare at him. “He won’t even wear a cape. Why am I the only one who brings their A-Game every week?”

“Sam just get the damn-”

“You should wear a cape, man.” Bucky’s absolutely sure that even Sam knows it’s a ridiculous idea.

“I’m not wearing a fuckin’ cape,” he grumbles. 

“What are your thoughts on swords, then?” Your finger finds a place under your chin in deep contemplation. “You’d look great with a sword.”

Bucky buries his face in his palms. “Sam, for the love of God.” 

“Okay, alright.” Sam finally gives in with a small chuckle. He runs a few steps to get a small head start before launching himself into the air, whizzing past your levitating figure. He does a neat little flip midair before matching your height.

Showoff.

“How difficult are you gonna make this, Wilson?” you ask, a smirk on your face.

“Jesus Christ.” Bucky exhales, looking at the both of you through his goggles. 

“What’s your play here?” Sam calls out loudly.

“Was gonna spray paint ‘asshole’ on the side of the Tower.”

“After the ‘A’?”

“After the ‘A’,” you confirm. 

“Now that’s too small,” Sam tutted. “You gotta think bigger. Paint the whole Tower.” 

“Sam!” Bucky looks horrified. 

“Hmm.” You look like you’re considering it. “Don’t have enough paint for that though.”

“You’re an evil genius, right?” Sam casts a small glance at Bucky. “At least that’s what he tells me.”

“You talk about me?” You grin at the disgruntled man on the ground. 

“I don’t,” he mutters, shaking his head. A lie.

“Yeah, so build something,” Sam points out. “Get some more paint. I’ll even tell you the best vantage points to spill it.”

“No, he won’t,” Bucky shouts from below. 

“He’s just cranky because he didn’t get his prune juice this morning, ignore him,” Sam dismisses him.

Prune juice? He was a young 100, not ancient. 

“What’s your favourite colour, Falcon?”

“I like red.”

As annoyed as Bucky is right now, he stores that away in his memory for later. He also knows Sam loves seafood and a good pair of shoes. 

“A couple of gallons of red paint it is, then.” You lower yourself to the ground, Sam slowly follows suit until he lands beside Bucky.

“You know we can’t let you go without taking those, right?” Bucky tilts his head towards your invention.

You narrow your eyes at him. He doesn’t budge.

“I’ll tell ya what,” Sam pipes in instead. “I’ll keep them until you finish getting the paint and once you’re done, we’ll make an evening out of vandalising the Tower.” 

Bucky may not enjoy his company all that much but he admires Sam’s diplomacy. Of course, you would never make it this easy while reasoning with him.

“That a promise, Mr. Wilson?” You raise your eyebrow at him questioningly but are already in the process of removing the things from your hand. 

“Wouldn’t ever lie to you, doll.” He holds up his hand in a mock swear.

You walk towards Bucky and him, rotating your wrists to get rid of the soreness. “Bold claim for a man who met me ten minutes ago.”

“Feels like it’s been longer.” He sends you a wink and you can’t stop the laugh the escapes from you finally. 

Bucky holds his hand out for the gadgets. You shrink away from him with a click of your tongue.

“Technically, he takes this round.” You send a nod towards Sam, dropping off the repulsors into his hand. “So he gets it.”

Bucky rolls his eyes.

“You gonna keep ‘em safe?” you ask Sam, this time a little more earnestly. 

“Guard it with my life,” he says seriously, pressing his lips together in a line to avoid smiling. 

“You’re both ridiculous,” Bucky cuts in.

“You’re going to be late.” Sam tucks the devices into his pocket safely. “You know how Steve gets when people walk in on his speeches. Do you even have a ride?”

“Got the motorcycle.” 

“See you there.” Sam nods. 

“Save me a place,” Bucky says to him.

“No.” He doesn’t even hesitate. “Y/N. It was a pleasure.”

“Still holding you to that evening, Sam.” You send him a smile.

“I’m countin’ on it.” He gives you a small three finger salute before taking off, leaving you staring after his retracting figure. 

When the dust settles, Bucky awkwardly clears his throat. “Right. So that was that.”

“Dude,” you let out an exhale. “he’s so hot.”

He murmurs something unintelligible. It vaguely sounds like a series of threats but mostly a list of complaints.

“Don’t you have a meeting to get to?” You turn your attention back to him.

“Yeah.”

“Aren’t you going to be late?” You glance at the clock on your phone.

“I’ll just tell them I was on a mission.” Well, sort of. “Besides, what are they gonna do? Kick me out?”

“Fair enough.” You shrug. “Have a safe ride back.”

From what he knows of you and Sam, the both of you were kidding around. But he could never be too sure. He can’t even ask if you were serious about the entire thing because it’s none of his business. 

Were the implications of having his mortal nemesis and other mortal nemesis date important enough to overrule that? 

“Are you planning to skip your meeting, or?” you ask when he remains freezes in his spot, eyes glazed over like he’s thinking about something. “Because if you are, I know this great Thai place-”

“Don’t do that again,” he says instead, shaking his head to jolt him out of his thoughts. 

“What?”

“Flinging yourself off roofs like that.”

“Why?” Because it scared the hell out of him, for one.

“Just don’t.”

“Oh please, like you’ve never done dangerous shit like that before.” You narrow your eyes at him, reading his face. “Are you telling me you care about me?”

“No.” His nose twitches. “Just don’t throw yourself off buildings when I’m around.”

“What about when you’re not?”

“As long as I’m not there to witness it.” He shrugs, spinning on his heel to leave. Technically he preferred if you didn’t do things like that at all. 

“Fine. I’ll just have my clone try out all the dangerous stuff for me.”

 He stops in his tracks. “You have a clone?”

“Well,” You squint, “no. But I’m working on it.”

He scoffs, shaking his head. “Bye Y/N.”

“You know, it sounds an awful lot like you’re saying we’re friends.” Your whole demeanour changes and he already knows what’s coming.

“I never said that,” he argues vehemently. “All I said was that I can’t have your murder on my hands.”

“Thus implying that we’re friends. In a fucked up, enemies kind of way.” You positively beam at him. “Aw, Barnes, that’s adorable.”

Adorable? Adorable?

“I hate you.”

“I love you, too, bestie,” you gush, dumb grin on your face. “I’ll make us friendship rings next time. What are your thoughts on matching tattoos?”

He wants to cry. 

______

By the time Sam walks into the meeting room, the session’s already begun. He shoots an apologetic look to a monologuing Steve before taking his place at the nearest chair available. 

Something sharp pokes his thigh. His wings are off and in the backpack beside him, but then he remembers your little inventions that were still in his pocket.

He tries not to make much of a noise while he pulls them out, giving them a look over to make sure they’re not broken.

“Watcha got there, Big Bird?” Tony asks lowly from beside him.

“Something that Barnes’ enemy made.” Sam holds it up slightly. 

“The one he’s been rendezvousing around town with every weekend?” 

“That’s her.” He’s about to put it in his backpack when Tony stops him.

“Pass that here for a second.” He recognises it immediately for what it is, interest piqued. 

Sam hands one of them over while he puts the other back in the bag. It’s a metallic circle, not bigger than Tony’s palm, with a thick leather strap to tie it around your palm.

“She made this?” 

“Why don’t you ask him?” Sam mentions towards Bucky who silently slips into the conference room, standing in the corner near the potted plant since there were no more chairs left.

“The balance has gotta be off on this thing,” he mutters to himself, wholly ignoring the brooding man standing in the corner like a Christmas tree.

“She seemed to be manoeuvring it fine,” Sam catches the eye of a lower ranking agent who makes the mistake of glaring at him for talking while the meeting was going on. A few seconds later the agent hastily looks away and doesn’t turn around for the rest of the hour. 

“Could be better.” He uses a much more intricate model for his suits, although this isn’t even half-bad for a homemade version. “Do you know how long she took to make this?”

“Buck says she comes up with a new one every week, so I’m guessing that long.” 

It had a few glitches but it was incredibly refined for a week’s worth of work.

“Interesting.” He gives it a quick overlook before handing it back to Sam who drops it into the bag.

He casts a swift glance at Bucky, noting how he wasn’t even paying attention to the meeting but rather to whatever he had tied around his metal wrist, fidgeting with it with his thumb. 

Tony has an idea. 

And that was generally bad news.

Next part

[belfrygargoyles]

*whispers* I would like to hear what you have to say on reader inserts in the SW fandom because I too have a problem with them and I feel like not enough people are calling it out 👉👈

I’ve made a few posts about it in the past but I think it’s high time I actually Do This and really get into it.

Before I start: 1) This will be in specific reference to fanfiction written for the Star Wars fandom, particularly tcw and the mandalorian eras, 2) A lot of the issues come down to racist fetishization of men of color by white women; I am white, so there is much that is simply not my place to make statements on. What I can speak most on is my take from the gender side of things.

I’d honestly recommend reading this post by @nibeul with addition by @clonehub first, as they discuss the core issue with reader inserts in the Star Wars fandom.

And 3) some of this will involve discussion of sexual acts (as they relate to fanfiction) and sexual fantasies. These discussions will be non-explicit, and no pornographic text or content will be displayed.

Also. I’m GNC and nonbinary. I’m also a very feminine looking person that falls under the generalization of “small and petite.” I don’t have dysphoria, I like my body and the traits I have, and treating them like inherently female sends me into a blind fury. This is, unfortunately, important.

For the sake of making sure I come across as clearly as possible, I will be writing as though the reader of this post has never read or is broadly unfamiliar with reader-insert fanfiction.

Without further ado.

Hey, Star Wars reader insert fic writers? Please get your shit together.

INTRODUCTION

I’ve been reading reader-insert fanfiction since I was a grade schooler waking up early to check Quizilla. I love it! It got me into fandom, kept me engaged, helped me make and develop some of my oldest OCs, and it’s just fun to read and write- it’s like a self-indulgent little gift you can give to a bunch of people all at once. Because who doesn’t like the idea of starring in their own little adventure, usually alongside some of their favorite characters? It can be fun, immersive, get you attached in ways other ways of fandom interaction may not, make you feel just a little bit special, or be a way to express some feelings you might have about canon and the way the story went.

Like any form of fiction, it ends up saying more about the author’s feelings than anything else, whether the author realizes it or not. For many, many authors of reader-insert fanfiction, the primary enjoyment comes from writing “themselves” into the story- before the readers, the author most often makes the “reader character” someone they, themselves, can relate to and substitute for themselves. They write to live out a self-indulgent fantasy they have, and their readers can come along for the ride.

Some writers do actually try to write as diverse or as vague of a reader character as possible- as few details about the body, identity, etc. as possible so anyone could superimpose their image without the narrative directly contradicting it. This is not the kind of reader insert author I will be discussing.

The kind of author I will be discussing is the one most common in the Star Wars tag on Ao3: White, AFAB, cisgender, gender-conforming, able-bodied women who assume all of their readers are also White, AFAB, cisgender, gender-conforming, able-bodied women. Yes, you can tell.

ISSUE: fetishization of men of color

Again, this post puts it in the best words, but there is a rampant problem with Star Wars reader-inserts, particularly those involving the clones, Boba Fett, and Din Djarin, fetishizing characters played by men of color as either “physically aggressive and threatening, hypersexual and dominant, big strong men who are scary because they do violence and fuck constantly when they’re not” or “completely inexperienced baby who doesn’t know anything about things and needs a gentle nurturing guiding touch to introduce him to the mere idea of a vagina.” The former is common across all of them, the latter most common among clone trooper fics or Din/Reader.

I went into the Boba Fett/Reader tag on Ao3, because I like him and hoped to find something alright. Here are some stats I tallied up (give or take some) based solely on tags, summaries, and warnings:

There are 284 works in the Boba Fett/Reader category as of the time of this post.

198/284 are rated E for explicit sexual content. 69.7% of all Boba Fett/Reader works are sexually explicit.

259/284 are in the F/M category. 91.2% of all Boba Fett/Reader works involve an explicitly female or AFAB reader.

24/284 are tagged with or mention “Age difference,” “Older man/Younger woman,” “Innocence kink” or “Virginity kink.” 8.4% of all Boba Fett/Reader works are written explicitly with an age gap, with Boba Fett as the older party

26/198 E rated fics are tagged with or make reference to “Daddy kink” or involve the reader being called some variation of “little girl” by Boba. 13% of all E-rated works under Boba Fett/Reader are daddy kink fics, or allude to Boba Fett being a daddy dom/sugar daddy.

102/198 E rated fics are tagged as, make reference to, or suggest in the summary that Boba Fett takes a dominant sexual role with a submissive reader involving rough or painful play, or make reference to Boba Fett being frightening, physically intimidating, having a power dynamic over the reader, or being possessive or violent. 51.51% of all E-rated works under Boba Fett/Reader portray Boba Fett as sexually dominant and/or enacting use of physical force or pain play.

Just using this as an example, because it’s the easiest stats I can gather and also what made me realize there was a pattern.

The problem isn’t even necessarily that people write explicit fic about Boba- it’s that 1) over half of all fics in the category are explicitly pornographic, and 2) the way those pornographic fics are written. The two things compound on each other. They’re dominance fantasies projected onto a character of color in which he becomes extremely sexual, physically rough with the reader, possessive, and demeaning towards a reader character who is always written as White, AFAB, and petite.

This brings me to the next issue.

ISSUE: The way sexual relationships are portrayed.

Let me clarify so there is no chance of me being misunderstood: sex is good. Liking and wanting and enjoying sex isn’t bad. It is not bad if you are AFAB and have submissive fantasies. It is not bad to be sexually attracted to a man of color. You can write about sex even if you haven’t had it. Writing about sex can be a good way to express some more complicated feelings you could have about certain things. It doesn’t even have to be realistic. It has its time and it has its place.

This being said.

Sexual relationships as they are portrayed in the vast majority of E-rated Star Wars reader inserts are… not great.

The reader is always AFAB. I can think of maybe one fic off the top of my head where an AFAB reader was written with they/them pronouns and not just she/her.

The reader is almost always submissive, the dominant character is almost always portrayed as cis male. Even when the characters are supposed to just be having spontaneous casual sex, D/S or BDSM aspects will be introduced with no prior discussion or talks about it afterwards. Sometimes characters will start using dirty talk and it just does not fit at all, but it’s what the author thought was hot.

Sometimes, it just reads like a quick smutty oneshot. More often than that, it reads like the author doesn’t realize that sex… isn’t always a dom/sub thing. Or that someone can take the lead in sex and that doesn’t automatically make them a dom.

It’s not bad to be inexperienced. It’s not bad to have preferences or kinks or specific turn-ons.

But it gets… tiring to read, over and over and over and over, because that’s all there is.

That and… I dunno, it just has me a little worried? It doesn’t make me feel good knowing so many people can only portray a sexual relationship if it’s dom/sub. I don’t know why it makes me so uneasy.

Vanilla sex isn’t a bad thing I promise. It's this feeling of insistence that something "spicy" absolutely has to happen for it to be worth writing that gives... some weird vibes.

I’m going to move on to the next Big-

ISSUE: Every “reader” character is exactly the same

By which I mean the following:

Always cis AFAB female

If a character is written with gender neutral pronouns they will always be AFAB and written like Girl Lite

I have never seen an explicitly stated nonbinary/gnc reader character unless it was a request specifically for a nonbinary reader

I have never seen a gender neutral reader insert fic where the reader was AMAB

I have seen a grand total of 1 cis male reader fic and 1 trans male reader fic. The trans male reader fic was about dysphoria.

The reader is allowed to have one of the following backstories: slave/runaway, mechanic, medic, ex-Rebel, secret Jedi, bounty hunter.

The reader is allowed to have one of the following personality traits: throws knives, babysitter, completely civilian, WOMAN, says curse words.

The reader is never written with any narrative agency- things only ever happen to the reader character or around the reader character, they are never written to take charge and actually affect things on their own. Essentially the sexy lamp trope.

Remember when I said the majority of people writing Star Wars reader-insert fanfic on Ao3 were White, cisgender AFAB women who are gender-conforming and able-bodied? This is how you can tell.

It’s at this point where you can tell they’re really not meant to be reader-inserts, but author-inserts with the names removed- they were only meant for a very narrow selection of readers.

I’m nonbinary, I’m gnc, and I’m a very feminine looking person, generally speaking. I’m used to people looking at me and assuming oh, girl. I’m at peace with that.

I can barely stand reading some of these fics just because of how much the author emphasizes that the reader is FEMALE shes a WOMAN with BOOBS and a VAGINA and FEMININE WILES. There’s barely ever even a chance to give myself room to mentally vault over all the “she”s and “her”s because then I’m getting hit with Din or someone calling the reader “girl” or “the woman.” It’s unbearable, and I even fall into the general description every fucking fic author uses for their generic protagonist!

Even with the “gender-neutral reader” fics, it is just. Painfully clear that they just wrote a female character and changed the pronouns- no, there is no such thing as “male behavior” or “female behavior,” and I quite heartily rebel against the concept of gender essentialism. And honestly, I can barely even begin piecing together how I know it and what it feels like, because it’s just one of those vague conglomerates of cues and writing patterns I can’t consciously pick up on but I know it’s there- it’s frustrating, it’s demeaning, and it feels like you’d have to threaten these authors at gunpoint to get them to write a reader character who was any major deviation from the same three cutouts they use every time.

It seems like they can’t possibly force themselves to write a reader character who isn’t meek and submissive or has the sole personality traits of “mean and can hit things”- you can actually strike a balance between “absolutely no personality” and “fleshed out oc” you know? And you don’t actually have to tell the reader what their hair looks like or how full their figure is

It’s like 2:20 AM and I started this at like 8something PM but.

I’m someone who loves reader-inserts. I enjoy them. I still check for new ones regularly. I’ve been reading them for well over half my life now.

So many of these authors are just locked in on exactly one way to write things and it fucking shows. It’s like a self-feeding loop, they just keep writing the same things and the same dynamics because they see each other doing it and they never think about taking a step back.

It’s… exhausting. I’m exhausted. If you’re a reader-insert fic writer and you want to improve your reader character inclusivity and have also read this far, you can DM me or shoot me an ask.

[definitely-not-a-wasp]

I'm okay with a bunch of disorganized rambling honestly 😂. But if I had to narrow it down then I guess I want to know about main and side characters and how they compare to the original?

I know that tumblr is the Prime Site for disorganized rambling, but I have perfectionism issues. But that is a great question, nonnie, and I will be happy to ramble is a slightly less disorganized fashion.

When reading Maximum Ride as a somewhat-formed adult who discovered they enjoy English classes about 3.5 years ago, I noticed that JP, when writing, doesn't understand consistency. At all. Which means, in many ways, I have a free sandbox to work with.

Spoilers for my rewrite WIP, because I strongly believe that if a story would no longer be good if one had spoilers, then it wasn’t a good story in the first place.

I'm trying to keep the backstories the same, plus or minus the scientific method and a few characters (RIP my OCs. I want to bring you back so bad but it wouldn't fit with the thematic narrative). I've mostly kept their (starting) abilities the same, too. Without further ado, I'm going to introduce some WorldBuilding. (If I'm good at nothing else, I'm good at world building)

First off. Logically.

How are they getting Cable?

How are they getting internet?

How are they getting money to eat and stuff?

JP's answer: handwave it off. Sometimes you need to ignore logistics for the sake of plot. This is an answer I'd accept from an author that I like, such as Julie Kagawa, that makes amazing worlds, characters, and narratives that I will happily handwave a few things that wouldn't work in the real world. James Patterson, on the other hand, did not make any of that; he made a cool concept, some good rough-draft characters, and nothing else, and therefore this is an unforgivable sin.

Wasp's answer: They are not getting any of that.

Introducing Cottagecore.

The house is off the grid. Solar Panels and a wind turbine create electricity. They have their own well. They grow their own food, raise livestock for eggs, milk, and wool, and trap fish for meat. They get money through dumpster diving and pawning. They still have to steal half of the necessities they can’t make themselves. They do have a TV, but it can access about three channels on a clear day. Internet is only a thing when they go to the public library.

Giving the flock a background that’s heavy in farming and livestock rearing shores up the plot holes mentioned above, but in my opinion, ties the flock more tightly to the environment, thus giving them something tangible to lose when they have to leave the E-shaped house. Because they’re not just leaving a house and a safety net— they’re leaving their entire way of life with no promise of getting it back. It also gives them a tangible connection to the earth in case I want to actually pursue the global warming themes.

Main Characters

Maximum “Max” Ride (Birthname: nonexistent)

First off, I'm letting her be Latina, James Patterson.

In the original, Max was very much the headstrong, independent, action girl. Leaning into Strong Female Character (TM), but overall she had a strong, solid foundation and enough character consistency through the first three books for me to not have to just make an entire new character. However, I felt that she was, in some ways, a bit too Action-Girl and Strong and Capable. Yes, Max is incredible and competent, but she’s also fourteen. She’s a child.

In the rewrite, Max’s character is still headstrong, independent, capable, and sometimes not the best at listening to others. All of that’s the same. But she’s that way not because of girlboss energy, but because there’s no one else to do it. She doesn’t want to lead, necessarily. She wants to get some rest and let someone else handle the problems life keeps throwing at her. But she knows if she did that, the responsibility of leader would fall to Fang and Iggy, and she can’t ask that of them. She doesn’t want to place that burden on anyone else (Look, there’s a reason I chose Ayano’s Theory of Happiness as one of her signifier songs, okay?). Her narrative is very much centered around burden, and also around loss. She lost her cultural heritage when she was taken away from her birth family, she lost her childhood to being a leader, she lost a good deal of her friends to the school (RIP my OCs), she lost Jeb, and then she lost her stability. And she’s going to lose a lot more before the end of the story. So a lot of her character arc deals with learning that there are some things she can’t fix, some things that can’t be recovered. She can’t get the E-shaped house back. She can’t get her Little Baby Angel back, even after they rescue her. She can’t get her friends back from the school. And instead of working so hard to recover those or find something to replace them, she has to learn to live with that sense of loss and move on with her life without feeling guilty for leaving things behind. And she has to learn that asking for help and sharing her burden is selfish or weak.

Other changes I made that don’t necessarily fit into her narrative arc, but you asked for rambling so rambling you shall get:

Max hallucinates, because mental illness is also a prominent theme in the rewrite. She doesn’t have a psychotic disorder, but her C-PTSD causes visual/audio hallucinations, especially when she’s stressed or sleep deprived. 

Max ends up having a Gender Discovery throughout the story and goes by He/She pronouns eventually. I don’t know when, but it will happen.

As far as genetic modifications/special quirks go, she can fly faster than the rest of the flock, but not 300 miles per hour. She averages about sixty mph with diving speeds of 240. She cannot breathe underwater or shut down her organs on command. She also has the Super Special Power to predict the weather, but that’s not because of genetics, it’s because she has chronic pain in her right arm that gets worse when weather fronts change.

Her favored weapon is her trusty rebar that she picked up from a condemned building. I think she’s going to name it eventually but I don’t know what yet.

Fang (Birth name: Gabriel Xue)

In canon, Fang is characterized in early books by being the “dark, strong, silent type”. He’s probably the most reserved member of the flock, to the point of falling into the Brooding Mystery Man trope in parts of the book. They care a lot, but they’re not the best at conveying that, especially with the younger members of the flock, and at times their high empathy leads them to making mistakes. Despite the high empathy, he’s often compared to a robot due to his lack of expression and external emotions.

Well, first change is that they’re not a man, so jot that down—

If Max’s narrative is centered around burden and loss, I would probably say that Fang’s is centered around humanity and moving on. None of the flock was treated as human while in the school, but Fang was more often than not treated like a wild animal due to “behavioral issues”, and therefore had and continues to have a difficult time considering themselves real and alive, let alone human. This manifests through a several different ways— where in canon Fang definitely had a ‘fight’ reaction, in the re-write they have a ‘freeze’ or ‘shut down’ instinct. They’re selectively mute for multiple reasons (including derealization, jaw pain, the fact that they didn’t learn how to speak until they were 10, and genuinely forgetting it’s something they’re capable of), a period of Cotard’s syndrome, and a tendancy towards self-loathing and self-sacrifice. In short, Fang is still halfway stuck in the mindset that most of the flock grew out of when they escaped in the school, and doesn’t know how to move past it.

Much of their character arc revolves around not necessarily seeing themselves as human, but learning to treat themselves as human even when they don’t feel like one (or even feel real), and knowing that just because they don’t feel human all the time doesn’t mean anyone else can treat them the same. They never start easily expressing their emotions, and they’re always going to be selectively mute, but they learn to accept that those aspects of themself aren’t character flaws or signs that they’re sub-human. 

Other additions to Fang’s character include:

They don’t get their hair cut in New York. It stays long through the entire series. They have the longest hair in the flock by the end of the series, and they can wear it in so many styles.

Fang uses they/it pronouns because themes of reclaiming the weapons used against it and, more importantly, Gender.

They’re actually really good at spelling compared to the rest of the flock, because they and Iggy communicate with Print-On-Palm when they’re nonverbal, and they’re nonverbal for some pretty long stretches of time. 

They and Max have... zero romantic tension. At all. There is none. The number of times Max calls them her sibling/little sibling in the first arc alone is staggering, and that will not change.

Igneous “Iggy” (Birthname: Jamsetta “Jamie” Griffiths)

I’ve talked about Iggy before. Canon doesn’t give us much to go off of, but from what’s shown, he’s smart, sarcastic, has sharper edges than Fang and Max, and also has a sizable ruthless streak. So that’s what I have to go off of.

The big difference between Iggy and Fang&Max is that Iggy has a much better memory of the School. Most of the flock have areas (months or years) that they don’t remember, or people that they’ve blocked from their mind, but Iggy... doesn’t. So he’s the one that remembers all of the other AVIAN test subjects that were old enough to have names and identities but died due to complications. Max might have the burden of leadership, but he has the burden of memory. And that has lead to both a massive fucking guilt complex, because why did he survive when they didn’t, and, as mentioned above, a ruthless streak that he doesn’t shy away from.

Which is to say, by the end of the story, Iggy has the highest kill count.

I love, love writing Iggy next to Max and Fang. I love writing Iggy next to Gazzy and Nudge. Because, I say this with all of the love of the world, but Iggy is not a good person. He is loyalty and love incarnate, and the world can burn down if he and his siblings are safe. Max and Fang will always try to save as many people as they can. They will wonder what’s wrong with them the first time they kill and don’t have a mental breakdown about it. They are good in a way that Iggy is not. He’s okay with killing Erasers. He’s okay with killing humans. He’s okay with killing people who might not necessarily deserve it, if they show themselves as a threat or are simply in the blast radius. He knows perfectly well that most of those Erasers he’s murdering are four and five and he is okay with that, because a lot of the AVIANs were that age when they died. (Yeah, in the rewrite it’s not Fang who has an issue with Ari; it’s Iggy who wants the 7-year-old wolf-boy dead.) 

And this is, of course, juxtaposed with Iggy being really, really good with Nudge and Gazzy (especially in the beginning). Because, again, he actually remembers being a child. He remembers a lot of kids that died and is therefore fiercely protective of the kids that didn’t, as well as fiercely protective of the innocence that he never got. So he’s the one that cooks their favorite foods when they’re having a bad day, always makes time when they want to talk about something, and convinces Max to let them go to that toy store in New York because, yeah, he Max and Fang aren’t kids. They never were. But Nudge, Gazzy, and Angel can be. (And if he has to be a murderer to preserve that, then he’s perfectly okay with that.)

He and Angel don’t get along very well, though. The telepath doesn’t like hanging out with the person with the most clear memories of the school.

Other additions:

Iggy is trans and says trans rights

He also has paranoid episodes, because C-PTSD. Sometimes they’re very helpful. Sometimes they are not.

I actually decided that he’s one of the flock that doesn’t meet their parents. I know in canon he did, but I always found that very clunky because it didn’t add to his character. He was one of the characters who, until it was convenient for the plot, seemed to care the least about his family. I’d much rather give that to a character whose arc would benefit from it.

Iggy! Gets! Older Sibling Rights! Seriously, he’s two months younger than Fang, he is just as capable.

Iggy does not know braille because Jeb decided it wasn’t necessary for him to know. Iggy is also the best speller in the flock, because Print-on-Palm was the only way to talk to Fang for a solid year. Yes he mocks everyone over this.

Iggy is the only member of the flock that enjoys swimming and can take into the air from water. Everyone else in the flock is incredibly jealous.

Nudge (Birthname: Monique Robinson)

If Iggy is defined by his memories, Nudge is his polar opposite. She was seven when she left the School, but she has next to no memories of it. She is missing a lot of time in the first year she escaped. And that causes... a lot of things. It makes her feel disconnected from her older siblings, it gives her the ability to function in society in a way the other’s can’t, it lets her feel less grief over the ones that didn’t make it and she doesn’t remember, it makes her feel guilty that she doesn’t remember what she’s old enough to know. 

Basically, in order for me to keep the character of Nudge as I saw her (more extroverted, not afraid of the world, fascinated with humans like her siblings aren’t, desiring to fit in instead of isolate), I had to put a little bit of distance between her and the flock. Of course, she loves them— that will in no way change— but she’s old enough that she should remember the school (and her dead friends) unlike Gazzy and Angel, but she can’t, and she very much fears forgetting the flock if anything happens to them. So she’s trying desperately to keep the flock close and wants desperately to experience the world at the same time, and doesn’t know what to do when she can’t have both. That’s her biggest character conflict throughout the series, along with that in-between area where she’s not quite where her older siblings are but understands so much more than Gazzy and Angel, and where she stands in that.

So yeah. Nudge’s journey is that in looking for belonging in the world, in her family, and in herself.

This is why she’s one of the ones that gets to find her parent, James Patterson. 

Other additions include:

She never straightens her hair. Never. Her resources at the E-shaped house aren’t perfect, but she still has learned how to take care of her hair and has a few styles she cycles through.

She becomes the default person Max sics on people when the flock is trying to befriend them. Also their de-facto diplomat around strangers.

As in canon, she does take some time away from the flock to expirience ‘normal life’. This does not last long due to the stress of being separated from her siblings/not being able to help them and [REDACTED]

Nudge is... not the only person in her head. I’m not focusing on it much because she doesn’t actually know and neither does the flock (I don’t know if they ever figure it out during the series, either), but she has dissociative identity disorder. She’s not aware of her alter(s?). Her alter isn’t super aware of her, either. 

The alter that I’ve developed is named Oxy and is not super aware of the outside world. In her eyes, she’s still seven and they’re still at the School. She would not recognize the body as her own if she looked in a mirror.

Nudge actually leaves the flock for a while to pursue her dream of living a normal life. She deserves it. She learns how to make muffins and the basics of software development. These things are unrelated.

Gasman (Birthname: No first name, surname “Falk”)

Honestly, writing Gazzy is kind of hard for me. Partially because I’m not great at writing kids, and partially because I feel like he’s a pretty surface-level character in-series that... isn’t super compelling in canon. But even if that’s the case, I try to treat all of my characters with respect, so here we go. In my rewrite, he escaped when he was four, which was half a lifetime ago for him, so his memories are ill-defined. Therefore, he managed to circumvent a lot of the trauma that the rest of the kids have, and not in the way Nudge did, which is by creating an elaborate blockage in her memories. 

Which means Gazzy... really doesn’t know how to deal with all of this traumatic stuff happening. So much of his development turns out to be a coming-of-age narrative. Learning how to deal with the horrors of what his siblings grew up with. Learning the fears that they had the entire time. Losing his innocence when everyone around him never had it in the first place, and being so terribly alone because of it. Because, really, how can you explain such a deep loss to people who never had what he had? How can they help in a way that matters?

Also, relationship-wise, I’m slowly deteriorating the relationship between him and Iggy. Slowly. Or, changing it, at least. Gazzy hero-worships Iggy in-series, and for good reason, because Iggy is super cool, especially in the eyes of an eight-year-old, and especially when Iggy has taken care to cultivate parts of his behaviors to be child-friendly. Part of growing up is seeing the flaws in your heroes, and Gazzy has to learn how to deal with it. End of the series Gazzy is much less closer to Iggy than beginning of the series Gazzy, and neither of them are really okay with that, but they learn to live with it, because that’s really all they can do.

Notes:

I’m keeping the mimickry! It plays a bit of a bigger role because that’s how Gazzy learned to talk. I’m debating whether or not he has his own voice or if he just borrows the flock’s as he sees fit. He also uses it to scream really loudly and occaisonally burst the eardrums of Erasers.

At one point he cosplays as Jessica Jones. No you don’t get any more context than this.

He has a horrible sense of fashion.

I’m changing his name eventually because it sucks. He’s either going to change it to Gannet, Garrison, or Ivy Mike temporarily, and permanently to Zephyr. (I never said I was going to make his name GOOD, because he’s eight, but it’s changing. You’re welcome.)

Angel (Birthname: No first name, surname “Falk”)

It’s just... a completely different character, at this point. I’ve changed so many things about her in an attempt to make her consistent and act like a six-year-old and work in the whole “telepath before she has a solid sense of identity”, so it’s a different character. Also, I’m tired of writing coherently or in paragraphs, so have some interesting facts.

She has epilepsy! Super severe epilepsy! I think she might also develop juvenile MS in the future because her brain has so many scars from being a fucking six-year-old telepath. There’s no way she could get out of that unscathed.

She has more memories of the school than Gazzy, but only because she keeps accidentally reading the minds of Max, Fang, and Iggy. On a related note, she interacts with Iggy as little as possible.

The mind reading means that she has a hard time developing as a normal child with a normal sense of identity or reality. She can’t tell how much people are individual people and how much they’re just extensions of her. Conversely, she can’t tell how much of herself is actually her instead of the thoughts/opinions/identities of someone else. It’s... kinda fucked? But also super not-her-fault. 

She’s albino because white wings. Also, because I thought it was cool. This also means that her vision sucks, though. Also she has the biggest straw sunhat and the most stylish sunglasses a six-year-old can have.

She’s responsible for Max shaving her hair off.

She has the highest swear count because I think it’s funny. She’s the only person allowed to say the fuck word in writing. Everyone else can only say ‘hell’ and the occasionally ‘damn’ but she can say whatever she wants for dramatic and comedic value.

She is NOT THE FUCKING VOICE, J*MES P*TTERSON.

Honorable Mentions

Jeb

I’m skipping Jeb because of how little I care about him. He’s a little bitch, next character.

Ari

STILL HASN’T BEEN REVEALED AS AN ERASER. I’ve been writing for 50,000 words and he’s over here saying ‘nope nope not yet, not dramatic enough’. He’s had speaking lines but has refused to make himself known to Max. I am so frustrated with this seven-year-old wolf-child that I’ve already considered how I would kill him, if I decide I want to kill yet another child in my writing.

So, my main thoughts for Ari is that he... really just drew the short end of the stick in every possible way. While Jeb didn’t sign him up for Eraser expirimentation, he didn’t do anything to stop it, and pretty much cut his losses when he realized this expiriment made a wreck of his ‘perfect, unflawed’ son, because Jeb doesn’t consider children of any species to actually be humans. So, Ari really hates his dad, which makes things complicated, because he also really loves his dad and really wants his approval. 

Which means that he also really hates Max, because she’s the child that always got Jeb’s time and attention, even when Ari was human. I think, on some level, he knows that trying to tear Max down to a less-favored level isn’t actually going to help his situation— infighting for the love of an abusive parent won’t make them any less abusive— but he’s also seven, and his development is already severely stunted due to becoming an Eraser, and he doesn’t see ‘leaving ITEX’ as an option like the Flock does. ITEX is his everything. It’s all he’s ever known, and they tell him he’s doing the right thing, and he wants them to love him. He wants his father to love him. He knows that if he ever questions ITEX, his father will never love him. So it must be his older sister that’s ruining his life and being a horrible child, and once Ari drags her back down to his level, Jeb will realize who the best child is and love him properly again.

Ari, on an even deeper level, does care for Max quite a bit, because she’s his older sister and he wants that to mean something in a way that ‘Jeb being his father’ obviously doesn’t. He wants what she made for herself, and he hates the Flock because she loves them and obviously doesn’t love him. 

Ari, if anything, is the product of neglect, and both loves and hates everyone who shows a chance of caring about him. And he’s seven, so he can’t notice these patterns, let alone break them.

So. Notes!

He doesn’t look like an adult. I thought that was gross and unnecessary. He’s seven, but he looks closer to thirteen or fourteen. Still young enough that he looks like every Eraser’s little brother, and the Erasers high-key treat him like it.

On a related note, he’s the only Eraser who can talk. The others don’t have the mental capacity or vocal structure to replicate human speech, but they can understand language (at about the level of a two or three year old) and are very good at nonverbal communication. This is why Ari managed to climb the ranks despite only having three years of “service” and also looking like a tween.

He doesn’t have an expiration date because that is SUCH a stupid plot point.

I’m giving him a chainsaw! I don’t know how, I don’t know when, but he deserves to have a chainsaw and GODDAMN I will give it to him.

Emergency and Gene

The OCs that I love and also killed pre-series. They don’t have any scenes, because they’re dead, but their deaths greatly effected Max, Fang, and Iggy, and they are very commonly referenced. Their voices are probably Max’s most common hallucination, to the point where she sometimes pretends they’re ghosts that she can talk to. They’re not ghosts. They’re dead.

Dr. Valencia Martinez

I’m actually keeping her pretty close to canon— loving, supportive, the type of person to take in a gsw victim with minimal questions. The difference is that rather than kindness fueling her actions, it’s incredible guilt. She has three goals surrounding Max: Give her as much support in any way she can, teach her as much about chicane culture as possible, and never let Max know that she’s her birth parent.

(She’s probably going to fail at AT LEAST two of those, but it’s the thought that counts.)

Notes:

She has a pet fox named Robin Hood that she rescued from an exotic animal salesman that got arrested.

I think I’m going to kill her. I don’t know yet, but it’s on the table.

Anne Walker

Y’know, the fake FBI Agent. Who’s not actually a fake in my story because I hated that plot point. She’s genuinely an FBI agent who put the Flock into pseudo-witness-protection in order to build a case against the Institute of Higher Living, accidentally got attached to her prime witnesses, raised them for a few months, realized a [SPOILER] and promptly had to let them get the hell out dodge.

I really like the Anne Walker that lives in my head. She is a VITAL part of the Flock’s development, their mental/emotional recovery, and adding to their safety net to fall back on. She serves them as their first adult role model, and is the first adult to show them what parent/child are supposed to look like from a healthy perspective. Though she has several fuck ups, she becomes someone that the Flock genuinely trusts and loves, which makes it all the more difficult for them to leave when [REDACTED].

Notes:

She and Max do butt heads initially, because Max is paranoid and also afraid of becoming uneeded. This ends up being incredibly important because Max needs to learn how to live and find meaning in life without being the designated Leader/Parent/Big Sister

Anne, at one point, sits the entire flock down to teach them about consent, which was something no one ever talked about with them before. She goes in talking specifically about consent in a romantic/sexual sense (because they’re fourteen and that’s something they need to know), but quickly turns into a full-fledged no, people are NOT allowed to do that to you, what the FUCK.

She’s responsible for giving the flock a laptop. It’s because Angel is online schooled (bc telepathy makes actually learning difficult) and was therefore provided with a computer.

Anne is also allowed to swear, but only when it’s funny.

Michael “Grey” Rivers

Aka Grey from the Sewers Aka GR3Y H47 Aka Mike from the Bronx Aka Gifted Child Syndrome Incarnate Aka Would-be-in-MIT-if-his-parents-weren’t-horrible. He’s my son, your honour.

Basically, his backstory boils down to him being a genius, getting into MIT at 14, his (horrible) parents wanting a perfect child who could “make it out” of the Bronx and represent his family/neighborhood/borough to the world. When he inevitably failed their expectations due to stress, a schizophrenic-spectrum disorder that completely alienated him from the rest of his support network, and refusing to take his psych meds because the side effects were horrible and they made it harder to think (and therefore pass his classes), they kicked him out. He fully intends to go back to MIT when he turns 18 and has control of his finances/scholarships/medication/therapy.

So that’s how the flock meets him. 

Mike ends up in a very prominent support role for the flock both in technological persuits (helping them track their parents, helping them get information from ITEX, trying to disable Max’s chip and failing multiple times until it becomes a matter of personal honour—), in helping the older members of the flock figure out how to deal with hallucinations/delusions (because he’s actually been to therapy, unlike them), and in being one of the only people who talks to them and helps them without any ulterior motive. He’s not trying to build a case against ITEX/The Institute of Higher Learning, he’s not double crossing them, he’s not plagued with guilt. He just genuinely wants to help them, and they genuinely want to help him, and that’s their first introduction to a healthy, non-codependent relationship.

My many disorganized notes on Michael Rivers:

He’s from specifically Morris Heights, Bronx, NYC.

He would say that his last name is actually Rivera, but his grandparents changed it to Rivers so it would sound more English, and his family has been in America for so long that he doesn’t know much about any Latino heritage he may or may not have. He identifies as African American, not Afro-Latino. He’s just bitter that his family felt the need to change their surname to have better opportunities in New York.

Nudge aggressively befriends him pretty much the moment she meets him, bullies him into teaching her how to code, and he very quickly adopts her as his pseudo-little-sister.

His delusions in the book seemed to involve government conspiracies, but as that’s the one delusion that is proved correct in the book, I’ve decided it would be best if his delusions and reality intersected a bit less if I don’t want to write him having a manic/paranoid episode in the second scene he has screen time. So his delusions are more based on “none of this is real”, “someone is recording everything I do and setting me up to fail” and “my ill-wishes on people can and will come true if I dwell on them too long.”. Government conspiracies are one of things he is skeptical about because he thinks most conspiracies are either “CIA admitted to this twenty years ago” or “antisemitism”.

He’s taking online free college classes that don’t actually give him any college credit, but they have good information and help him feel like he’s working towards something. He plans to double major in computer sciences and electrical engineering, minor in marine biology. He’s wanted to join NOAA since he was twelve and he is nothing if not stubborn.

There you go. These are my characters, now. I have custody.

[tmascfatal]

Resident Evil: Welcome To Raccoon City movie rant/analysis (if you can call it that?) -because I just finished watching it and I have A LOT to say

SPOILERS!! obv

Let’s start off with the good!

Overall, I think it was a decent movie. The pacing was surprisingly decent and it introduced all the characters and gave them a foundation that the watcher could build off very efficiently. The story telling was great, the transitions from one chapter to another wasn’t smooth but decent enough for the watcher to not be confused or annoyed. And the character designs for the monsters!! I could not tell you how honestly scared I was (though I have an irregular fear of zombies). Not only that but they didn’t entirely rely on jumpscares! They use tension instead, which is what most horror enthusiasts look for! Especially with that scene where Chris is trying to light up his lighter and the zombie moves closer with every flick. If someone watched this without ever playing or knowing about the resident evil games, I think they would somewhat enjoy it. And I love this 90s/80s vibe they have going on, it really fit into the cheesiness of the Resident Evil games though I wished they leaned onto more because I felt like that would’ve make-up for the ridiculousness of the games. I loved Avan Jogia as Leon, I know many people didn’t like that change but I think he really fits the role of Leon plus diversity is always good! And Hannah John-Kamen is an amazing actress, that betrayal scene with Wesker really made me really felt her anger. Along with Kaya Scodelario, who I think is the best movie adaptation Claire we’ll see. Having this very fiery attitude that doesn’t mock her in a way.

But it has its flaws, more so than it’s positives. The story was a bit weird, it disregarded a lot of the original storyline from the games and canon lore. I think trying to shove 2 (3 so I’ve heard?) games into a hour and a half movie isn’t the best idea. A lot of perspectives are completely disregarded, such as Jill’s and Leon’s. Most of the movie is told from Claire’s perspective but they still do a good job in intertwining them. Jill is barely even given some screen time for herself, she feels more like a background character if anything. They also added this weird orphanage storyline that I understand was supposed to show us how fucked up Umbrella Corp is but doesn’t play much into the rest of the movie or the characters at all. I feel like they didn’t need to go into Chris’ and Claire’s childhood. Also the additional of Sherry Berkin felt forced, like they had to do it cause it was in the games. We weren’t introduced to her until the near end and we honestly never had a reason to even see her in the first place (which they also do in the game but a personal pet peeve). I understand that adaptation movies aren’t always 100% but they really changed up a lot. Chris’ and Claire’s relationship was bitter, they seemed to resent each other. Which in the game is completely different, the reason she even came to Raccoon City was because of Chris. And let’s talk about Wesker, they gave him a totally new personality. A cheery hunk that was a complete opposite from his stoic in-game character. His betrayal didn’t have a motive, his character seemed like he saw his friends as family not as expendables nor as someone who turns into a full fledge villain. Tom Hopper is an amazing actor but not the right one for this character. He isn’t the only one that’s wrong with the cast. As much as the actors were amazing, I think they didn’t fit the part. I don’t think Hannah John-Kamen made a great Jill, maybe the writing is to blame or the lack of screen time but I couldn’t recognize her as Jill at all. Along with Robbie Amell though he doesn’t capture Chris at all, I felt like Tom Hopper would’ve fit Chris way more than Robbie Amell did. Not only that but we’re barely introduced to the characters other than Claire and Chris. We get a whole backstory about Claire’s experience with Umbrella Corp and why she ran away but nothing on for the rest of the cast. They could’ve explained why Leon chose to join RPD or go into more depth with Chris’ personal experience with Umbrella Corp but there was nothing. For someone going in blind, it’d be very boring to watch these characters you know nothing about for an hour and a half. Last but not least, the cgi was giving off 2000s vibes but not in a good way. The Licker was very CLEARLY cgi, and it really took away the immersion from the movie especially with it being mostly practical. They did in amazing job of doing the make-up on zombies. And William Berkin’s final form at the end was just so out of place. Though I really loved the effects when he first started transforming. I understand it wasn’t a big production but they could’ve gone with more practical effects like look at Scary Stories To Tell in the Dark!

To summarize, the way it was directed and choreographed was honestly better than expected but the story along with the characters were disappointing. I don’t think it deserve it’s harsh rating of 1 stars but it’s no where near a 7 star. I’d say it’s a 3.5 star out of 10 because I can see how someone who doesn’t know Resident Evil at all getting confused and a fan of RE being very disappointed of the character + story adaptations.

[lochrannn]

For the weird questions for writers meme: 4, 13, 18, 25, and 36!

Okay, that's a bunch of questions, I'll do my best.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

This is a bit cliché, I guess, but it's gotta be "gentle". So versitile and so easy to capture a vibe, especially in romance. And, well, there's a reason I tag everything Diego/Lila with otp: just be gentle.

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

I think I'd find it hard to write actual serious stuff. Stuff that I find strenuous enough to think about irl. That could be anything from a serious fight to dealing with stuff that is too political. In the sense that not handling it with care would either feel wrong or could actually upset someone.

Irony of ironies, because thirteen months ago I'd have said I could never do it, writing smut, at this point, comes pretty easily (also, that's what she said).

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

This is from Kiss with a fist, one of my earliest fics:

--

She feels Diego come up to her and stand close by but he doesn't say anything yet and neither does she.

She gets back into her fighting stance, hands raised in front of her in loose fists, and swings her leg around to kick the bag from the side.

Lila brings her leg back down behind herself and is just getting ready for her next kick when she feels a boot nudge into her hamstring.

“What the fuck?” she grits out irritably and lets her hands drop to her sides while turning to look at Diego.

He has a perfectly neutral expression on his face, arms crossed over his chest far too casually, “Don't lean back when you're kicking.”

I know that, you fucker! she wants to scream at him.

“You're a prick.” she says instead, and gets back into position.

“Yeah.” he concedes but then says nothing more.

Lila gives the bag another kick and when she sets her foot down he doesn't nudge her in the back of the leg, just drawls, “You did it again.”

She doesn't know why, but Diego's winding her up. And it's working.

She rounds on him and aims her next kick at his side. “This fucking better?” she shouts, while he tries to get his arm up to protect his ribs. Apparently he didn't expect her to explode quite as quickly.

--

I wrote this passage because I like when they argue. I think it's never really directed at the other person, but they are both good at reading when what they need is to let off some steam. This is what's happening here, Diego provokes Lila into an actual fight for her to have the chance to let some shit go (it ends in making out, cause, course it does XD)

This bit was inspired by the fact that I do Kung Fu and my trainer is always very careful to point out that we should lean back when kicking and it's further inspired by a bit from the podcast Robert Sheehan and Tom Hopper did when they interviewed David Castañeda and he was telling them that when he was at the Muay Thai training camp in Thailand in preparation for S2, he had a trainer stand behind him with a stick, whaking him in the hamstrings when he wasn't kicking right or hard enough.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

I mean, he's not technically my character, but I write about him a lot. In my head, Diego loves croissants (it's not relevant, but I have brought it up XD).

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice…what do you Know?

I work in education and have thought about an AU with Lila and Diego as teachers, but I just couldn't go there. Schools, just actually not particularly sexy places. Sure, in movies that works, irl, it does not XD

I am very seriously mulling over a telephone customer service rep AU. I have done that job, it was absolutely soul destroying, nothing nice or sexy ever happened there either, but I think it has more potential for conflict that could be fun to resolve XD.

[feralcherry]

Naruto takes that might enrage you (girl addition)

Warning, some of these takes might enrage you- that’s fine.

Fillers don’t count as canon, don’t even bring them up if you talk about this post lol. Also it’s been a while since I’ve seen the whole series, so some of these might be disproven as I continue with my rewatch. The excuse that Shounen is for boys is also very weak and holds no weight, as tons of girls (and nonbinary folk) relate to the characters in this show, so that doesn’t excuse Kishimoto for his weak writing of women.

To preface, I love this show. Love it to pieces. It was part of my childhood and holds a very special place in my heart. But there are some things I personally don’t like or wish could have been done better. I love every character and will go blue in the face talking about how much I still love this show. That doesn’t free it from my criticism. I’m also only listing what I don’t like and what I would change, though I’d be more than happy making a post about what I loved.

Let’s start off with my girl Sakura Haruno. She is easily the most hated girl in the series, and all because of how ‘weak’ or ‘annoying’ she is. As if that’s not the fault of Kishimoto himself lol. She was shoved off to the side continuously and never given cool storylines, unlike the other members of her team.

What I took issue with about Sakura:

-What were this girls dreams?? The whole reason she became a ninja was never really talked about nor were they really developed as time went on. She was all about Sasuke, which would be fine if she grew out of it. But no. 

-Her crush on Sasuke was super stale. He was handsome and powerful, but what else was there to him? He was a jerk to her most of the time (there are some instances he’s somewhat kind to her, but if we go off canon, it’s not enough to make her deep love make sense). I think it would have been so much more interesting to see her grow out of her infatuation for him. If they had to have ended up together, watching them relearn each other and fall in love would have made them more compelling. She stayed loving a boy who thought very little of her. 

-She’s pitted against her best friend and doesn’t develop much of a relationship with other girls her age. It’s kind of sad, and I think they should have fought over something other than a boy. 

-We are told repeatedly that she’s super powerful by other characters, but she’s never given time to truly shine. She got like a single battle with Sasori and she deserved more cool moments like that!

-She was a healer, which makes perfect sense. But why is it mostly girls who are the healers? It’s a bit weird, when there’s also Neji with his perfect chakra control. She only has her healing abilities and her super strength; but even then someone like Kabuto has more offensive healing based techniques than her. Like his chakra scalpel. 

What I would fix:

-New dreams. Show her find a dream outside of her team and grow into it. Also give her more of a backstory. Sai has more of a backstory than she does and he’s way newer than she is.

-I would let her fuck up one of the Peins instead of Konohomaru- she’s a main character and passed over for that little brat?? She should have gotten to do more than scream out for Naruto and heal people :/ 

-She her intellect a bit more. She’s so smart, and yet we don’t really see it.

-She’s perfect for genjutsu, Kakashi himself said so. So why not give that to her? Or play more with ninjutsu. She has earth and water on her chart, so why not give her those abilities? Maybe even wood jutsu to even her out with her super OP teammates. Idk how, it could have happened, this is a show full of demons and god like abilities, it could have happened someway.

-She should have grown out of Sasuke and not married a man who doesn’t really appreciate her and isn’t there for her at all.

-I would totally have expanded on Inner Sakura more. Imagine if it made her mind impenetrable? Could have woven that in with her skills for genjutsu and made her unaffected by other’s illusions.

Next, let’s go with a more beloved character of the fandom. Hinata. Now personally I don’t care much for her- she could have been so cool but just like Sakura, they kind of messed her up.

What I didn’t like about Hinata:

-Her entire existence is revolves around Naruto. Naruto this, Naruto that- and yet she simply sat back and watched as his life was shit and did nothing despite her ‘love’ for him. And then fillers/movies are added to show that oh wait! she’s been there this entire time!! no lol. Build her up from the start as his love interest at the very least.

-She stayed super meek the entire time. Shy girls are okay, but I wanted to see her grow into herself more and not need as much reassurance. She’s a ninja and should stand on her own two feet more.

-She’s less skilled then Neji and I would have loved to see her outmatch him at some point, even once. Or gain abilities outside of her clan, or do something that made a name for herself outside of being the heiress of the Hyuga.

-She never fixed her clan which was one of her few spoken goals. That was a huge bummer.

-I think it would have been cool to see her mess up Pein a little more. She only stepped in because it was Naruto, which reinforces that she’s only about him. But at least let her land a hit if she’s as powerful as people say she is. 

-She makes the most sense to be a housewife or a healer with the way her attitude is but in Boruto, she’s kind of rewritten to be a ‘scary’ mother which just doesn’t fit her. Plus, she tells Boruto to go and take care of his dad?? Bro, that’s your child and your husband is the hokage. 

What I’d fix:

-Prove her dad wrong and show him that her compassion isn’t a weakness but a strength. 

-Fix the Hyuga clan bs.

-More character growth and showing more of her life away from Naruto. Her romance with him could also have been better. I hated her always watching him but never standing up for him, it kills me.

-Neij dying for her proved their clans hierarchy bs to be right and it just doesn’t make sense for him to die for her. It showed that he was right to feel caged and that he simply existed for the benefit of the Main family.

Now with the others, there’s much less I have to say about them because they aren’t main characters or the love interests.

Ino-

-Jealous of Sakura, no dreams of her own, stupidly loves Sasuke and for what? WHAT’S SO COOL ABOUT HIM?

-I like her growth for the most part, it was cool watching her fight in the War Arc with her team. 

-Why is she the medical ninja? I never got that.

-She got with Sai but they didn’t really show their development and how they fell in love with each other. It’s like she only likes him because he looks like Sasuke and called her pretty once.

Tenten-

-Should have gotten to train with Tsunade at some point, since she was the one who originally idolized her. 

-We know nothing about this girl at all. She doesn’t even have a last name.

-Her weapon usage was meant to be so cool and yet she missed so often- there’s a disconnect there. Her abilities could have been built up more. Imagine if no matter what she never ever missed. That would have been cool.

-Her weapon shop isn’t doing well. Just because it’s an era of peace doesn’t mean the need for weapons is totally over, not if there are still active ninja??

Karin-

-I actually like her, she’s kind of funny and I like that she’s mean even if she can get annoying.

-Again, another healer, though she’s also sensory which is more interesting. I’d like to see her with some jutsus though. That would have been neat.

-Her love for Sasuke makes sense since he saved her and smiled at her, making her think of him as her hero. And she’s the only one he apologizes to without Naruto strong arming him into it.

Temari-

-She’s pretty solid in my opinion. Though I would have loved to see her more without her brothers.

Konan-

-Her goals in life were to support Yahiko and Nagito’s dreams. It would irritate me so much if other girls in the series were more well rounded and din’t also have some sort of dream involving a boy.

-She was underused. I would have loved to see her fight more.

Tsunade-

-Only becomes hokage to support others dreams...All of them men. And then later passes the title onto Kakashi who doesn’t even want to be Hokage either. 

-No other justus used, she’s on par with Jiraya and Orochimaru and yet she’s only super strong and the best medic. She should theoretically be more well rounded than that, right? She also should be shown fighting more even if she’s a medic, she’s also s legendary sannin 

-Had to be saved by 12 year old Naruto. I know it’s a show about him, but she’s meant to be a literal badass but needs a kid to save her.

Kushina-

-Wanted to become the first woman hokage and then didn’t. Her husband did. and then she became a housewife?? What?? She should have become the first woman hokage with a badass husband or had another prominent role in the village like as a council member or something.

Kurenai-

-Always lost a fight? She’s some genjutsu using badass but always lost fights.

-No real personality, she’s just chilling there. Sexy as hell though. Has a kid and that’s about it.

-What I will give her is that I’m so glad she was allowed to age. So many anime mothers always look the same as their teenage self and she looks like she can be anybody's mama.

Over all, the girls could have been handled much better. I wouldn’t find issues with any of them being housewives or all about boys if that weren’t what seems to be the standard in the anime. I just wanted more of a variety and better character development, especially for Sakura and Hinata who are the mains 😩

Now to what might REALLY piss people off- ships! I’m not trying to start some war here, this is just my opinion and you can take it or leave it.

Sakura- Naruto, since they had the most development and showed more than two seconds of caring for each other. Even Sai in Shippuden has more of a connection to Sakura than Sasuke did.

Ino-Shikamaru, if she had to end up with a guy it makes sense it’d be him since they spend more time together than her and Sai did. (inosaku for the win tho)

Hinata-Shino or Kiba, again, because they spent more time with her. Naruto and her felt very rushed and I don’t quite understand the appeal.

The one that made the most sense and became canon was Shikatem, though their son’s design was lazy :D 

If I do a second part, it’ll be about the boys and the ships with them that made sense to me. For now, this is all I have. If you’ve made it this far, thank you lol

byeee