#but i pivoted!

[apothekosm]

thumbs up for kyle, mmmaybe?

Send 👍 for a random headcanon I have about our muses

Love is... an awful, nasty thing. A 'chemical imbalance' forced upon the hearts & minds of sentient beings in order to force them to procreate, continue their species, cast the flame of existence into the farthest ends of the cosmic naught, on, and on, and on.

Love, one of the fundamental lights by which life as a whole was spawned, was once, is now, and shall forever be, threaded into Kyle Rayner, just as it was, is, and forever will be threaded through Her... and yet, when She gazes unto him, She knows that he does not Love Her. And knowing that wounds her every waking moment.

Kyle is a dutiful man, one with a job that transcends the boundaries of a single connection. Without him, the universe falls into disarray faster than it constantly seems to. Without him, her playground falls apart. She should thank him for doing his job; for allowing her to suffer under the weight of her own bad decisions as she currently does, but she can't.

She can not find peace whenever he is around. Her heart aches for him, her mind races at the thought of him, she is overwhelmed with an urge to bite into his core and crawl her way to his heart from the wound whenever she sees him, BUT SHE CAN'T!

Because those feelings are not her own. That LOVE is not her own, and she believes that Kyle knows it. He can see the disparity between The Predator & The Parasite, he knows where the lines are drawn, and where the barriers are crumbling, and rather than assuage the decay, and return the universe to its proper balance, he abstains.

He exacerbates the crossover between host & entity, he holds himself just so outside of her reach, he drives her fucking MAD with his presence! All while refusing to succumb to her wishes. The belief is that if he can force her to fall apart - Force Predator to escalate until theres no choice but to leave her, then she'll be able to return to her life. This 'cosmic game' will spit her out, only a touch worse for wear, without Love tearing her apart, again.

He 'tortures' her out of kindness. Her 'pain' is motivated by a goodness within him, one that is clearly for the betterment of existence!

The problem, of course, is that love is not clear in any of its facets or forms... and has driven once rational, well-intentioned and genial people into the pathways of some of the worst this universe has to offer.

[mylittleredgirl]

playing a new game where i talk about fandom using words that belong on corporate powerpoint slides like:

✨ we have to align our headcanons to authentically reflect our strategic mission and meet quarterly margin objectives ✨

sorry to everyone who understood that

[catharsistine]

The scene in the Barbie trailer when Barbie is skating around with Ken and asks "Why is everyone staring at me?"

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE AN ADOLESCENT GIRL.

Living in Barbieland (childhood girlhood) but then suddenly you're all grown up in the real world subject to scrutiny and sexualisation (the guy slapping Barbie's ass) and feeling like existing is a crime?

Being forced by adult men into a box (which leads to the not like other girls syndrome) and exploring the 'real world' (being forced to grow up too quickly) while fighting the realisation that maybe the world sucks and being a woman is so difficult while hoping with all your heart that it's not always going to be this way.

Losing touch with the very things that made you happy because they're considered immature and girly? (The group of teens that said they hadn't played with Barbies since they were five.)

Older women telling you that you have to learn the truth about the world and that you can never have your old life back (Kate Mckinnon's Barbie) despite it being the only thing you yearn for, but also older women being a bright spot and support (the old woman on the bench) in the endless slough of life.

And this is just the trailer!!! I'm so excited for this movie I can't breathe, Greta Gerwig the woman that you are 😭

[crystallizsch]

do you shake the tweels to make them glow or do you crack them like a glowstick

thank you @comedydoctor18 😭

[hinamie]

all i have left

[gallus-rising]

i totally understand why ppl ship Laios and Kabru, i get the appeal, but to me that doesn't probably capture depths that their Freak Behaviors would create if combined in such a way

Kabru has just enough sense to not stick his dick in (that particular brand of) crazy, but he is still studying Laios like a bug. imagining him in situations. rotating him in the fantasy microwave. etc. he's thoroughly observed Laios in his natural habitat (dungeon), currently observing him in his unnatural habitat (civilization). he's seen Laios' family dynamics, has been sucked into his friendship circle, subtly interrogated fellow victims. there's only one thing left

he's never seen Laios Fuck

is this, perhaps, the singular aspect in life in which Laios is normal? is he his normal abrasive self or a conscience and tender lover? what does Laios think foreplay is? would he even register someone making moves on him in the first place? are dog collars involved at some point?? oh god what if the dog collars aren't even a sex thing for him--

imagine, you are an elven government spy here to seduce state secrets out of the mysterious king of the golden kingdom. months of pretending to care about his special interest are starting to pay off. after a banquet (you specifically were chosen for the job because of your immunity to poisons) he shyly invites you back to his chambers. this is it! the two of you are being shadowed, as would be expected for the king's first illicit encounter with a foreign dignitary, but you've finally done it!

Some Guy just walks in and starts taking notes while giving you the world's most intense Weezer Blue stare. you nervously, yet seductively, try to ask the king if he likes being watched or something~ ;) "haha yeah Kapru likes 'studying my habits' sometimes :)" oh god this isn't even a sex thing. with every second the Guy becomes increasingly distressed. Laios is just happy to be here

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

An unbothered queen has entered, and subsequently left.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[sunderwight]

Thinking about Black Widow Luo Binghe.

Hear me out -- so just like in canon, Shen Qingqiu self-destructs to save Luo Binghe, dies, and Luo Binghe steals his body to put on ice while he looks for methods to resurrect him. But unlike in canon, staving off decomposition is simply not that doable for a matter of years, even with cultivation and Luo Binghe pouring qi into the process. The qi costs are still high, so is Xin Mo, and now Binghe also needs a special artifact that can actually preserve Shen Qingqiu, but that runs on blood sacrifices.

To get the thing working, Luo Binghe feeds it a bunch of prisoners from the Water Prison. Then he starts kidnapping cultivators to drain for his own qi reserves, but that's difficult, controversial, and he can't use the same victims for the blood sacrifice afterwards. Frankly, between one thing and another it would be easier to satisfy Xin Mo with dual cultivation, and focus on finding victims for Shizun's Snow White style glass preservation coffin without having to choose between using targets for one or the other. Especially given that, if he finesses it, Luo Binghe can extend the use of his sacrifices and get more out of them with fewer deaths that way.

He's pretty sure that Shizun would want fewer deaths.

Of course, he is not a fan of the logistics of the plan itself, but he'd do worse things to one day be reunited. He consoles himself that he's building up bedroom experience for one day being with Shen Qingqiu, and that it doesn't really count because his heart's not really in it, and also if Shizun got to spend all that time in brothels then it's only fitting that Luo Binghe be his equal in this as well. It still doesn't make it pleasant for him, but it makes him able to tolerate the necessity of it.

So Luo Binghe ends up marrying a string of rich and powerful figures -- mostly the villainous single fathers and mothers and evil uncles of harem members from PIDW, rather than their daughters -- and coming up with creative ways of making all their deaths a few months into the process look like accidents. After the third one people are undeniably wary of marrying him, but there's always someone with a big enough ego to think they'll be an exception, or stupid enough to believe that it really has just been so much bad luck up to that point. It helps that the universe is predisposed to let him hit it.

When SY wakes up in the shroom body and hears about Luo Binghe's succession of marriages, he's not surprised. What he is surprised by is the bisexual graveyard of toxic dilfs and milfs that has replaced the harem.

What did he do to cause that?!

And what does Luo Binghe mean that he wants to marry his own shizun now? Is this his new method of revenge??? Binghe, you don't have to marry someone to kill them!

[turtleblogatlast]

AU where Leo is trapped in the Prison Dimension for months instead of minutes and the only way he gets by with his sanity intact is through recording himself talking to his wrist comm.

When they finally manage to get Leo back and make him rest up to heal, Donnie can’t help but listen to the recordings left behind.

He’s not sure what exactly he’s expecting, only that his subconscious is screaming at him that it has to be heartbreaking, that it has to be torturous.

Instead, what Donnie is subject to is a full thousand hours’ worth of Jupiter Jim and Lou Jitsu crossover fanfiction. More than one part in the series. Spanning well over a million words.

(The worst part is that it’s actually good.)

[brighteuphony]

Sakura gets her first lesson in Genjutsu with Saeko. Based on the idea that humans have more than 5 basic senses (though there's no real science behind how many, with some saying 21, while others say up to 33).

Saeko is not actually a Hoshigaki- though they are very very distantly related. She is actually a Ningyo (mermaid) exiled from her coven, and living as a pariah, cursed to wander the earth, barred from the seas and rivers until she can get her pearl back.

As a mermaid-siren, she is intimately aware of the power of genjutsu (especially audial) and is a vicious teacher, forcing Sakura through rigorous training to teach her young charge how to understand and control her own senses/emotions before she attempts to do so on others.

Once again, thank you so much to everyone whose shown interest in this AU, you guys are giving me LIFE <3 <3. I'm so happy other people really feel that Sakura deserved a fighting chance. Together, we'll fix her!!!

[pocket-sized-potato]

Being a crafter and having non-crafty friends/family insist that you should sell your finished objects is so frustrating. It would be like if when a mutual friend showed us pictures of painting the walls in an old house, the non-crafty friend immediately said, "You should start a home renovation company!"

[arsonforcharlie]

great news, pigeon has discovered that sometimes when i hold a bag and it makes noise it's treats

bad news, she got a brain the size of a walnut and does not understand the difference between a tasty little salmon filled morsel and a spoonful of fucken turmeric, but she doesn't care, she fucken WANTS it

[frownyalfred]

What everyone expects being Robin to be like: foiling mob meetups, high speed chases, helping Batman chase down suspects

What being Robin is actually like: “What do you mean you don’t know how to work the pivot table in the patrol routes spreadsheet? That’s basic Excel.”

[vidapon]

doncraft

[hinamie]

i have so much band!au content in the pipeline my brain is Rotting but enjoy these two for now

jjk band!au

[perpetuallypottytraining]

Consider the following: potty UNtraining. training your little to let go in their diapee because it's healthier than holding it in and having an accident later. giving your little stickers and rewards for every time they use their diaper instead of the potty. encouraged wettings. peeing your diaper because it's more efficient than the potty. just imagine

YESSSSSSS 🎉🎊🎉

littles who have been thoroughly potty trained, so much so that they simply can't use their diaper without a lot of concentrated effort... but they really want to wear them and use them

they're just so anxious about it! how whether or not their padding will absorb everything right, if there'll be any leaks, if they should get into a certain position, if they, as an adult, could/should even be wearing a diaper....

but it's okay because their caregiver is there to help ease these worries and make using their diaper something to be celebrated!!! there's praise, there's rewards, there's encouragement!

and, whenever the little tries to come up with an excuse about why they should probably be using the potty instead, it's hard to argue when their caregiver is able to give them a good reason that a diaper is actually the best choice, from explanations like:

"I just cleaned the toilet and it'll be a shame to dirty it so soon"

"we're low on toilet paper, and I don't want to have to go to the store yet"

"it'll be a long drive home, you'll hurt your bladder and risk a UTI if you don't use your diaper"

"you're too little to use the potty all by yourself, and I just started making dinner, so you'd have to wait until after dinner, because we don't want the food to get cold, do we?"

"I can't pause the movie, it'll ruin the pacing; using your diaper will preserve artistic integrity"

"babies use their diaper, and you're my baby :) "

soon enough, the little will be able to relax and will slowly start using their diaper with more and more ease, until one day, likely while they're watching tv, they're about to get up when they realize: their diaper is wet and they didn't even notice when it happened!!!! their caregiver will be so proud of them and all the hard work they put in to get there!!!!!!!