#but i'm at least determined until monday next week

[notsocheezy]

V-Day - Diminishing Returns

(Or: Two In of Three Ain't Good)

Eight weeks. I'm a stone's throw from eight weeks.

Eight weeks ago, to the day, it was my final night at home before departing. I didn't sleep much - or at least, I don't remember sleeping. I had just prepared a flash drive to leave behind for the (nearly zero) chance that I didn't make it. I wanted at least one thing important to me to escape the prison that was my head, even if it wasn't finished. It was a love song. A bittersweet one which had been kicking around in my brain for the better part of a decade. I felt - accepted, perhaps - that even if it was a remote possibility, this could be the final recording of my voice.

There have been plenty more since then, but in a way, I did die that Monday morning. I wasn't the same after that day, or that week, or that month. I am regrowing the parts that form my capital-S Self.

I had my first gynecologist appointment, kind of, last Thursday. It didn't occur to me until my friend pointed it out, but it was specifically a women's clinic. I'm "included" now. For all the good that'll do me. My UTI was declared cured and I was instructed to start using dilator #3 - undeniably an intimidating proposal.

I went home and tried it the next day. I got it in - kind of. But no more than a third of the way - I hit a wall. Could go no further no matter how hard I tried. By Monday, I was still making no progress, despite being told to get it halfway in by then. I felt like I was just wasting expensive lubricant and hurting myself. When I told my surgical team, they said to stop and come back to it in a week or two.

I also asked, while my legs were up on the table, if I was cleared to masturbate. Mostly only because it was on my list of questions to ask - I had no interest. Everything down there was pain and suffering.

Something changed, though. The lingering UTI symptoms faded. Dilating got easier (with dilator #2, anyway). My pain was under control.

And it had been seven fuckless weeks.

I did as I was told - a finger or two above the labia, rubbing to stimulate the clitoris. It was... Something. But it wasn't what I was looking for. The need was becoming too much to bear. I could think of little else. Everything - everything - became dull and boring, I needed release, I NEEDED RELEASE.

No good. An hour of trying - including an extra dilation session as a cheat - didn't work. But today I was determined, today I pulled out all the stops, I got all my favorite toys and did what used to work in the ol' "basement." With the old equipment, I could have pulled a good shot. Two hours and a cup of lube later, I had a sort of good time, but still. No release. There's no steam in my fucking milk.

I can't help but think of December 2019 - my orchiectomy. By the new year, I already knew I'd made the right choice. I laid in bed, on my side, with my legs together, and I saw my whole world light up. The following months were rough for that world, but I'd never felt so comfortable in my skin.

I haven't had a moment like that yet. I worry I never will. The closest I've gotten was a dilation session or two that felt kind of nice when mixed with the right fantasy. But everything is only ever "kind of" so far. And "kind of" feels like a sick joke after the most painful month of my life.

I got so much out of my orchiectomy. Why doesn't this feel like it was worth it?

[the-oc-lass]

Nimona OC - Charlotte Swiftheart/Corova: The Official Fic!

Hellooooooo Tumblr!

It's me, Lassie. A week ago I made this post and set up a poll to determine what I should do about my Nimona OC fic, and here are the results:

Thanks to all who voted! Love y'all!

Anyway, my friends, I'm happy to announce that the first chapter of my Nimona OC fic, Hearts of Gold, is now up on Ao3! The next few chapters will explore a lot of the early stuff that I didn't talk about as much in my tumblr posts, and it's a lot of fluff with baby Ambrosius, Ballister, and Charlotte. I'll be updating every week on Sunday/very early Monday morning, at least until I run out of chapters to post weekly.

I appreciate you all so much, and please enjoy!

Lovely tagged people from the good old days:

@ammonitetheseaserpent @perfectkittystranger @madlad06 @xxlunadrawsstuffxx @floxu

Side note: Thank you floxu for the many reblogs on the poll post. I appreciate it very much and hope you enjoy the chapter.

[lindira]

I'm going through A Thing right now, and while I feel I'm mentally better off for it, my financial anxiety is through the roof right now.

My sister-in-law was my boss. It worked great for a while (over 2 years) because even though she's an incredibly difficult person and paid me less than I'm worth ($16 an hour, part time), I could work from home and determine my own schedule, which was great for someone like me, who 1) has tons of medical appointments I have to go to on a regular basis, and 2) has kids and can't rely on anyone else to pick them up from school. I could also work around school events, which was also amazing because I want to be present for the things my kids feel are important. Also, she's in California and I'm in Texas, so I didn't have to deal with her very often.

Anyway, SIL found a service where she could hire people from the Philippines for $9.50 an hour. At the same time, she took on patients from another practice that was closing, so she had 2-3 times as many appointments each day. Meaning I started working more hours. At around that time, she asked me to transition from entering her charts to taking phone calls. But it was summer break, my kids were home, and my youngest is loud and demanding. I told her I couldn't because it wouldn't be professional to have my kid yelling for me through the door while talking to her patients. Moreover, at least half of her patients are Spanish-speaking, and I haven't used Spanish at all in the 24 years since I graduated high school. Instead of finding those points reasonable, she kept badgering and badgering me, even trying to go around my "no" by having my brother (her husband) ask my mom to ask me. I still said no.

Summer was ending and she asked when I could start on phones again. I gave her a date that was a week after the kids returned to school, and she agreed. But then she said weird things like, "only work the hours you would be working on the phone" and started training one of the people she found in the Philippines in some of the tasks that I did.

Last Monday, she demanded I start on phones that Wednesday, a whole week and a half earlier than we agreed upon. It was also the last week of summer vacation and there were a ton of things I had to do for the kids. I planned on working around the events I had to attend, but I couldn't start something new and with a specific schedule. I told her I could start on Monday (today) at the earliest, but she came back saying that I should enjoy my days off for the rest of the week until I could start on phones on Monday. She accused me of making her staff and patients "suffer" with my unreasonable availability.

I was livid. She was retaliating by taking away my hours for most of the week. She sure as fuck wasn't paying me for my time off. And my husband and I had suspected that she was giving my duties to the person in the Philippines, but I realized she wanted to limit my hours too by demanding I only work during the few hours I told her I could commit to working the phones. Basically, I started working 25-30 hours a week instead of 12-15 hours, so my SIL gave my job to someone she could pay less than California's minimum wage.

After a full day of being intensely angry, I confronted her about all of it: the badgering, the disrespect of going through my mom to get to me, springing new duties on me a day and a half before she wanted me to start and well before the agreed upon date I was to start, giving away my job so she could pay someone $6.50 less an hour, limiting my hours, and most of all for hurting me and my family by taking away almost a whole week's worth of wages because I wouldn't do what she wanted. If she wanted to hire someone else and didn't want to keep me on, she should have just told me so. At least then I could make an informed decision about what to do next.

She replied by trying to excuse her behavior as just "running her business" and that I was a burden and ruining her business. She said I was costing her $6760 over the course of the year. She didn't say, but I figured out where that very precise number. It was my wages if I worked 20 hours minus the wages of the person in the Philippines if they also worked 20 hours. I wasn't costing her anything. She wanted to save herself that much money, so she sabotaged my job. She only kept me on to stroke her own damn ego and feel like she was "saving" my family from destitution.

So I quit. Who needs enemies when I have "family" whose "help" is toxic and self-serving? I did really good work for her for over 2 years, and this is how she's going to treat me? Fuck that money-hungry bitch and her cheapskate, unethical bullshit. Fuck her for trying to control me by hurting my family in retaliation. She has alienated literally every one of our extended family, and now she's moved on to immediate family. I tried to tolerate her for my brother's sake. Fuck that now. I don't want to see her ever again.

I expected this from her. I'm angry, but it doesn't hurt so bad to cut her out of my life. I feel relieved, actually. But what really hurts is that my brother must have known what was happening and he didn't fight for me. I don't expect him to choose me over his wife, but he could have told me what she was doing. He could have told her it was shitty for her to give my job away to save what is - to them - pocket change. He didn't. We were "almost twins". He credited me for raising him. But he always chooses her over everything and everyone else. I'm not sure I blame him exactly, but I might never trust him again. And I certainly won't be seeing very much of him if she'll be around.

So now I'm scrambling to find a new job. I lost some dead weight, and I'm truly better off without her in my life. But I've been dealing with this for the past week and I'm still so angry. I'm a little angry at myself too. When I took this job, I knew it probably wouldn't end well working for her because of how much of a bitch she is. But it worked for 2 and a half years. It could've worked for longer. But she didn't value me, as an employee or even as a person.

If you've reached this far, thank you for "listening" to my rant. I find writing out my anger helps as much as yelling it. I'm hopeful that I'll find a new job soon, but if you spot a decent remote office work job an over-educated struggling writer could do, please keep me in mind.

[tex-da-phox]

Helluva Boss: Unchained

Chapter 2 - Pony

Author's note: Sorry for the delays! It will happen again. I am going through multiple life crises rn, but I will try to put out a chapter every week or two at least. Also, I have posted this story to Wattpad and AO3, and they contain a preface explaining the canon divergence and a prologue that simply writes out the events portrayed in Rhues' comic. I have linked the AO3 post below. Enjoy!

The intrusive blare of an alarm clock beeping forced its way into Loona's ears. Grumbling, she squinted in the harsh morning light, finding and promptly pounding the snooze button for the third time. It was 8:20 AM on a Monday, and there was no work, so she tossed her blanket over her head and began to doze off. However, she was again stirred; this time by semi-coherent yammering from her father in the next room, followed by a loud smash of glass. Groaning, she threw herself up and, still wearing yesterday's clothing, opened her door to confront him.

Sprawled out on the couch, a very drunken Blitzø held a freshly opened, brown-tinted bottle loosely in his hand. Another lay shattered on the carpet, fluid seeping outward into the fabric beneath. Several more (mostly) dry bottles littered the floor, some broken, some intact. Television speakers played a whimsical soundtrack with wholesome, uplifting dialog to boot. The screen displayed a blue cartoon pegasus with a rainbow emblazoned on its haunch soaring through the clouds. "Fly, bitch, fly!" He yelled, raising his arm to take a swig.

Interrupting his movement, Loona chastised him. "Blitz, what the actual fuck! I'm trying to sleep, and you're out here getting white-girl wasted at ass o' clock in the morning to watch My Little fucking Pony??! What is your problem?" Loona had been living with Blitzø long enough to know that this show was a guilty pleasure of his reserved only for periods of deep depression. For the past five months, he would spend a day or two after every full moon chugging beer alone while binging it until he vomited and passed out (though not exclusively in that order).

"Uhrrhrfng- the fuckig- *hic* horsefly... wanna be... I- I wan' be pony. Get a ffffucking, cutie mark on, myass, an' get- get hellabitches." He giggled, tilting the bottle over his mouth in the air, spilling most of its contents down his throat. His face and the area around his head were drenched in wasted booze. Three 12-pack cases of beer lay next to the couch within his arms' reach. One was completely empty, another over halfway out.

Loona had seen her dad in similar states before, but never at this time in the morning. Worry was fast to join her anger. While her father was a mess, he was a mess she cared for a lot more than she preferred to admit. "You need to drink some water, for fuck's sake. And change out of those clothes! You seriously reek so bad, it's not cool." She stomped into the kitchen, snatching a cup from the counter and filling it with tap water. Walking it over to him, she noticed his phone facedown on the ground by the TV stand.

Blitzø protested, having no interest in sobering himself whatsoever. "Hey... eeyou can't- mmake me! Loonie, don'eed a-gghllhlhg-" She shoved the rim of the glass against his lower lip and poured into his mouth. Swallowing some reflexively, Blitzø gurgled and coughed up a large amount, splashing Loona in the process.

"Ugh! You're such a pain in the ass!" He hardly registered, eyes remaining fixated on the screen behind her. She set down the glass, then went to his phone, squatting to pick it up. Its light beamed in response, showing the lockscreen image of an I.M.P. group photo. A superimposed notification read: [6:51 AM ¶ New message from stole ass ¶ This is Octavia. I'm bringing the book to...] "You have a message, y'know," she said, chucking the device beside him on the sofa.

A low, sustained belch rang out. Blitzø kept chugging, determined to be as fucked up as possible. Suddenly, the bottle was taken from him. Seeing Loona grab it and the cases of beer provoked a belligerent outburst. "Wh- huh hhhhat do you thikk you're doing, liddle missee, I wa-"

"You've had more than enough, dickhead. I'm cutting you off and going back to bed. Have fun watching this bullshit."

He stretched himself, trying to reclaim the alcohol. Rolling, he fell onto the floor, his shoulder landing in a pool of shards. A jolt of pain made him yelp, Loona turning her neck to face him briefly as she moved further.

"Jesus H. Fuck, could you just knock out already?" She brought the confiscated goods into her room, then closed and locked the door. A few minutes later, she heard him mewling and scratching at the bottom of the door like a clingy housepet.

Ignored, he wobbled up to his feet and stumbled back to the couch, slumping with a childish harumph. The show's upbeat music and pastel colors blurred into a narcotic canvas of nostalgia that numbed his distress. Flopping onto his side, he let it overtake him, nodding into a mercifully dreamless sleep.

.............................................................................

"What now??" Within just thirty minutes of falling back asleep, Loona's phone rang. Its punk-rock ringtone blasted, the screen showing a profile picture of a grey hellhound with loop earrings and a poodle afro. Bold letters read: [Incoming call from Esme]. She tapped the green answer icon and brought it up to her head.

"Hey girl, how ya doin'? You're not gonna believe what I just scored," a bubbly tone gushed. "*F-ck You Dad* is touring, and I have tickets for us to go!! I already told Pink and Harold. It's gonna be a blast!"

"Oh, awesome..." Though Loona enjoyed the band, she was not in a mood to show enthusiasm. "When is it gonna be?"

"It's on Friday, at 8 PM in Gluttony."

Loona grunted and checked her calendar, which was empty for that day besides work. "I think I can hack that. Speaking of dads, though, I'm gonna have to take a rain check on tomorrow. I'll be babysitting this dumbass all week by the looks of it."

Esme tisked, drawing a deep breath that was audible through the speakers. "Remind me what his problem is again?" This was not the first time Blitzø's antics had caused Loona to miss goings-out her friends had planned.

"He's always been a mess. I swear, sometimes it's like *I'm* the one who adopted *him*." The emphasis was as much in jest as it was in frustration.

"Was it always this bad, though? Like, you said you'll be out for like a week, that can't be good."

"Well..." Loona took a moment to think of how best to phrase her explanation. "He's clearly been running from something, but he'd never tell me what it is. He just comes home to drown himself in alcohol and kids' TV until he's distanced enough to pretend everything's fine again. It's really fucking annoying."

"Yeah, I bet. Don't take this personal, but if it were me, I wouldn't waste another moment taking care of a guy like that if he won't even communicate."

"I've definitely considered that, but he does pay for the apartment, at least. And he's my boss. A couple months ago, he said he might fire me if I don't work on my 'attitude' with customers. Can you believe the hypocrisy? Seriously, I should find a way to get out soon." A strange sensation accompanied her words as they formed, subtly pressing down on her ribcage and cooling her blood by a fractional degree.

Esme laughed a bit, somewhat humorously and somewhat nervously. "I think you're right, girlfriend. I've gotta get to work in a minute, so you can vent more some other time, 'kay?"

"Ugh, don't call me that. But yeah, thanks for calling."

"Okay, byyyyeee!" Esme hung up, returning the phone to its home screen. Loona removed it from her head, looking to tap the Sinstagram icon. A red bubble in the top right corner of the tiny block read in white: [2]. She clicked it, navigating to her notifications and clicking the new posts added to her feed.

Esme was posed in a selfie with four tickets in her paws, followed by a post from Harold - a short, dark-brown, scruffy-haired hound - from the previous night showing his family howling under the full moon, a caption reading: [this tradition is so overrated 🙄 would rather be out with you guys rn].

A new notification appeared at the top of the screen, indicating a message from "Pinky Winky." Pushing it, she read: [Hey, you alright? I can come by and give you a hand if that helps]

Loona typed back angrily: [No thank you, I'm alright] *She is SO dead,* she thought. Confidentiality was never to be assumed with Esme. Three gray dots blinked in succession at the bottom of the screen until a new reply appeared.

[Are you sure? You know I'm always available for you]

For the first time that morning, a feeling of warmth spread from her chest, a slight grin manifesting. Maybe Esme's big mouth wasn't so bad after all. [I appreciate it, Pink. But really, I've got it under control. Don't miss out on your job bc of me]

He began typing again. [Ok, just lmk if anything changes 🩷] Loona double-tapped the message, a smaller red heart emoji attaching to the bubble of text. Pinklie had always been good to her, even when she was a nightmare. He knew how to make her feel like less of a burden when times were rough. She wondered if either of them would get the courage to take things to the next level anytime soon; much had been left unspoken in the interest of maintaining friendship.

With a renewed vigor, she hopped out of bed once again, turning her doorknob and pulling it with a loud and swift *creak.* Blitzø still lay motionless on the couch, unconscious on his back. She moved past him, opening the fridge to fix some breakfast. A milk carton was left open, its revolting sour stench immediately assaulting her nose. Gagging, she dumped the chunky liquid into the sink, trashing the empty container.

Appetite now equally spoiled, she turned her attention to the mess around her. Memories began to flood her psyche, attempting to make sense of the chaotic sensory inputs it was experiencing. She thought about her dad's drunken rants, his distant look, his persona gradually slipping day-to-day, his full moon absences, his recent struggles with running I.M.P.

Loona knew little about Stolas' relationship with her father; but from what she did know, she understood that their dynamic was somewhat problematic. After Stolas divorced Stella, he'd really ramped up his incessant flirtations. Blitzø was always annoyed by this, yet it continued to escalate. Seemingly, he had no reason to believe that a prince would have reason to say such things other than to toy with him.

She never commented, but she noticed how he would beat himself up frequently when he thought no one could see or hear. His organizational skills were in decline, a repressed depression eating away at his capabilities. At first, it was a minute slip of his mask, occasionally interrupting his train of thought. He would usually excuse himself in these moments to express his humiliation privately.

Then came the outbursts; aggressive even for him, these reactions sparked some concern in Loona and her co-workers. Moxxie, in particular, seemed quite disturbed and tried to speak with him alone to no avail. It became increasingly clear that Blitzø would not open up and that everyone should walk on eggshells lest they burst the bubble to reveal the elephant in the room.

The worst memories in Loona's mind were waking up to him screeching at some imagined terror. He had been getting more and more nightmares, and something about these recent dreams was absolutely terrible. Of course, he denied that this occurred, both to her and himself, trying desperately to recover the facade of normalcy. His personality was fragile, his sanity illusory. Loona knew this but failed to make him admit that he was changing.

Beholding nearly two dozen empty bottles spread about the place, the odd feeling from earlier grew. Irritated by its ambiguity, she assumed it must be disgust and opted to clean up. Sweeping up piles and mopping up puddles, she realized the source of her angst was, of course, her father. He lay drooling into his expanding pillow of sogginess, odorous breath contaminating the air. Groaning, she reluctantly shook him.

Instead of words or wails, what escaped his mouth as he started awake was a sickly fluid. He sat up, spewing his stomach all over the couch and himself. After jumping back, Loona just sighed. This was a common enough occurrence that she had paid for an upholstery cleaner and heavy duty vacuum. He would otherwise have been content to lay in his own filth until he was forced to pay someone else to clean for him.

Blitzø coughed, a foul taste coating his tongue and throat. He collapsed back onto the couch, ignoring it all and returning to oblivion. There was no point in stirring him, as he was too trashed to be of any use. The television behind Loona continued to emit saccharine cheers and melodies, its varicolored light illuminating the imp in his sick. She gathered the necessary tools to wash up and began the grueling process of babysitting her father.

[memento-morri-writes]

Hi, Morri! How are you doing? Have you been working on any specific project lately? Have you read/watched/played anything interesting lately? Had any cool DnD sessions? Has something inspired your writing?

ROSE, HI!!!!!!! HOW ARE YOU? I HOPE YOU'RE DOING WELL!!!! Have you watched or read anything interesting lately? Had anything inspire your writing? I hope school is going decently well!

Okay, sorry. Enough with the caps. I just have too much energy, lmao.

I'm doing good!! I survived another week of classes, so that's great. Now I don't have to worry about school until Monday. I do have a physics test next week, unfortunately. But at least after that we have Fall Break, and I get a 5-day weekend. (Friday-Tuesday.)

the rest of this is going under the cut, because I wrote an essay.

I haven't been working on much writing lately, so I've mostly been working on developing dnd characters. My one group is switching campaigns, so I needed to come up with a new character. She's a Fire Genasi Barbarian (path of the storm herald), and they're super badass. They fight with a quarterstaff instead of a regular barbarian weapon for uh... Secret Lore Reasons, and I love her dearly.

Last weekend I finally got my shit together and watched all three of the Lord of the Rings movies. My only regret is that I didn't watch the extended editions. :'( But that's a project for another time!!! Other than that, I've been slowly working my way through Baldur's Gate 3 and having a great time. I haven't done any reading recently, as I don't have any books with me and uni, but I have 3 or 4 books waiting for me when I go home for Fall Break, and two of them are written by people on writeblr!!!

DnD... where to begin... First off, all of my sessions are amazing and awesome, so it's hard to know where to start. But Rook has been starting to deal with his trauma regarding Captain Wolf, and the party has been pretty supportive! (There's a lot of trust issues going on right now, though, hahaha.) He got told about someone who beat Wolf in a duel, and he's determined to find him now. But that won't be for a WHILE yet. Our other campaign is getting ended and replaced, but Asola was having an interesting time. The party started interrogating her about her past. They meant well, and they wanted to help her get to the bottom of the whole "randomly started burning with holy light and then passed out" thing, but they ended up giving her a bit of an identity crisis by implying that she's not human and/or that her parents aren't actually her parents. (She isn't human, but her parents are actually her parents.) The 16 year-old ended up reading her mind, and seeing some of her most personal memories. Which led to the party having a very, very extended conversation with him about boundaries. (Sola told him that "No one deserves anything [just because they exist or say so]." talking about the fact that love and respect is something that people have to earn and deserve, not just be given by virtue of existing. I'd say for a girl with -1 wisdom, she's pretty wise.) We also found a magic flower that can reincarnate someone, and we put it in a rusty bucket, which we put inside our magic cat. (No, that's not a typo. I do mean cat.)

As for inspiring my writing, well, yeah. I'm always getting inspiration all the time. Karlach from bg3 was an unintentional inspiration for my new dnd character, Cyra. After watching LOTR, I'm eager to write some high-fantasy shenanigans. Playing DnD makes me more and more eager to someday write High Fantasy WIP, assuming that I can get it right.

[miseriathome]

A drunk driver hit my car (and a few other cars) last night, which is sooooo cool 🙄 /s

He hit a pregnant lady and her angry stepdad, a guy who lives two hours away and had come up for Thanksgiving, and me, on my way to pick up friend-with-cancer for dinner. The police stuff took about two and a half hours and we finally managed to eat around 9:30 pm.

Called off work and forfeited my holiday pay so I can spend all morning making phone calls to skeleton staffs who won't be able to do anything until Monday at the earliest.

It looks like I won't have my car back for some number of weeks but at least the rental car is affordable. A friend who understands insurance bullshit says I may be able to have it subrogated to the other party, although the cost to me would be about the same anyways.

Although when I called the other guy's insurance, they said they couldn't "determine liability at this time." And while I understand that the rep was required to say that, it's still so 🙄🙄🙄. She also called it "a little fender bender" which. Bruh, there is extensive damage to my car and it's non-drivable. I got hit by a goddamn pickup truck.

Physically and financially I'm fine, emotionally I'm annoyed as shit.

My next two shifts are night shifts that my friend and I signed up for together, and we're going to be betting breakfast after, so I'm looking forward to that.

[keefwho]

March 04 - 2024 Monday

11:15pm

1.5/10

Today started okay. I vacuumed and picked up some. I took my shower and made oatmeal, spam, and cheese with crackers for breakfast. I had been planning on doing my workout today but there is still a little ankle pain. Ill try on Wednesday no matter what.

I did work okay. Warmed up with a couple color studies. While eating breakfast I had watched a video covering games that take place in dying worlds, its a unique and intriguing vibe. So I tried painting a scene like that out of nothing. I made good progress on today's commission which I thought would be very hard but just took time, as usual.

After lunch I read the chapter on self in my ACT book again and made a plan for exercises to try this week. For lunch I made some decent rice a roni given I had a weird selection of vegetables. I took a little time but did today's request while hanging out with Bramble and her friends. I liked the request because the person's girlfriend is a big fan and the OC looked good. I worked on a drawing of Adora next since its the 1 day a week I spend on friend art and I have no one else to draw for other than someone that won't get back to me.

I did my therapy appointment where the guy helped go over what self as context means and confirmed I had a decent plan ahead to follow. Unfortunately the next appoint will have to wait until the 25th which sucks. I feel like I'm gonna need an appointment before then so I might request one anyways.

I finished my afternoon worked and joined Samuel for a game of Helldivers before Daisy became available. When she did, we did our puzzles before getting in VR to talk. The talk was very important, we basically determined that we need to step our feelings back a bit and just focus on being friends. Its a big mental shift for me, and something I needed to talk about with someone else a little bit.

Before bed I took some me time to distract me a little bit and now Im up late nibbling on dinner before bed.

~~~

Im dealing with a lot right now. What happened earlier is really just starting to hit me and I'm overwhelmed. I might have my dad take me to the store tomorrow for groceries like he offered instead of streaming. Or I'll stream afterwards. I don't know. I'm only just now starting to cry about everything. I know it's for the best, I stick with the decision. But some part of me is hurting for how I wanted things to go even if it isn't smart.

Its going to be very hard not to slip into my thoughts, I know I will falter and will have to pick myself up. I feel like I have to let go and just take it tonight. Get it all out.

Life in general gets so fucking hard. In the least suicidal way possible, I wish I could end it all sometimes. Just for a break.

[tigermike]

*** Medal of Honor Monday! 🇺🇸🇺🇸 ***

During this week in 1944, American soldiers should have been at home celebrating Christmas and New Year’s. Instead, they were fighting off one last German push during the Battle of the Bulge.

One of these soldiers, Pfc. Melvin Biddle, was a normally soft-spoken man. He later even admitted to being scared during combat. “But I lost a lot of fear because I was out there and couldn’t let the troops down,” he told a journalist in 2008.

He needed that attitude on December 23, as he fought with the 517th Parachute Infantry Regiment near Hotton, Belgium. Our soldiers were trying to rescue another company that had been surrounded by German forces.

Biddle was designated lead scout when two other men were injured. “I didn’t know I would be lead scout,” Biddle joked. Naturally, he went anyway.

Indeed, you’d never know that Biddle was soft-spoken—or scared—in the hours that followed. He “aggressively penetrated a densely wooded area,” according to his Medal citation. He advanced within yards of not just one, but at least five enemy positions. He threw hand grenades into machine gun nests, and he took out German snipers with “unerring marksmanship.”

Biddle described one of these encounters.

“There’s underbrush and cold, snowy,” Biddle said. “I came up—this small German outpost with the three guys. . . . I shot the first one and then the second one tried to shoot me and I had to shoot him. The third one ran from me and I shot him in the shoulder and he kept going. And I shot him again in the shoulder and he still kept going. And then all hell broke loose.”

Biddle wasn’t done yet. He scouted enemy positions—alone—for hours that night. He was freezing and his hands were so cold, he later said, “I wasn't sure I would be able to fire my rifle. I determined I was going to put a finger through and pull on the thing if I had to.”

Biddle’s efforts bore fruit. The young private returned with intelligence that allowed Americans to knock out two enemy tanks the next morning. That same day, Christmas Eve, he was dispatched as lead scout on another advance.

“I thought after all that the day before, they wouldn't put me out front again,” Biddle joked. “But they did. And he said you were so lucky yesterday, we're gonna use you again today.”

Biddle took out more of the enemy that day, but another notable incident occurred when he came upon a young German boy tied to a tree. The boy was in uniform, and it appeared that he’d been tied up so he wouldn’t retreat. “And everybody said shoot him, shoot him,” Biddle recounted. “And I says I don't think we need to. And we took him prisoner.”

Would you believe that Biddle was still uninjured after two days of fighting? He wasn’t hit until about a week later, when a piece of shrapnel hit his neck. He discovered that he’d been nominated for the Medal of Honor while he was recovering from that injury.

“I'm not a hero, not at all,” he said in 1999. “When the Army put me out front, they put the responsibility on me, and you think about that responsibility instead of the fear.”

His country begged to differ with him.

“We call them the Greatest Generation for a reason,” the Indiana Governor said when Biddle passed away in 2010, “and in Melvin Biddle we have just lost one of the greatest of the great. Every Hoosier is proud that our state produced such a man.”

---------------------------

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[infitsovermisfits]

What's Shakin' Baby? - Eddie Munson x GN!Reader

((i'm crying sm look how pretty he fucking looks AAAAAA))

info: took me days to write which I'm honestly pretty proud of- I had this idea for a while and just thought it was cute lads :) hope u enjoy while I work on the other fics. OMG VOL 2 COMES OUT IN A WEEK WHAT THE FUCK??? That's wild I'm so nervous and excited. this is edited but if I missed any warnings or anything woopsie. I also hope people are ok that I change readers home life around? like in 'Tiny Swords' they've got a family but here they're alone- I'm just trying to be fun with it and change things up for u all please appreciate me please please validate this please please (/lh) HAHAHAHA HAPPY READING!!!

also, i have s o many pictures of eddie on my pinterest its so fucking funny. also, if anyone's going to comic con on the 8/10th of July and seeing Joe i hope u have a lovely time <3 

WARNINGS: gender neutral reader, reader is 20, angst, self-conscious issues, underage (America) drinking, drug use, mentions of violence, allusions to season 3, fighting, working through issues ig, angst with a happy ending, reconciliation, confession of feelings, way too long oh my god, idk what else my mind is blank 

PART 1 | PART 2 | PART3 | MASTERLIST

11,979 words

"Sorry, we're closed!" You called, focusing on drying the blenders from any leftover water droplets that remained from the night before. It was bright and early at 7 am, and the ringing of the door behind you signified without fail that a customer had entered 'Sam's Smoothie Shack' without bothering to spare a glance at the "Sorry! We're closed!" sign hung on the door. The chart next to it clearly stated that on Mondays, you opened at 7:30 am, not 7 on the dot. You'd gotten the job last year during spring break, and worked part-time when you had school. After your exams, you worked full-time over the summer to make some more money before leaving Hawkins for good, to go to Franklin College...

You were back now, finally finished with your first semester there, and it was... Vastly underwhelming. Sure, you were happy- and perhaps too eager- to finally leave Hawkins behind and experience life as the adult you were.  Yeah...  Only no one told you how fucking difficult making new friends in a city you had never been in before was going to be. You'd basically lived alone since you were sixteen, so you knew the basics of taking care of yourself. That was nothing you were new to, you just had an issue talking to people. How were you supposed to start conversations? Introducing yourself was weird, and most of the 'normal' people there were judgemental assholes...

Your roommates were nice to you but rarely invited you out to parties. There were a few other goths and punks who studied there but to your luck, you didn't share any classes together, so you rarely saw them. That meant you were often drinking alone by yourself in your dorm, reminiscing on the not-as-shitty-as-you remembered times in Hawkins...

Your whole life, you felt alone, never really fitting in with the other kids. The friends you did have grew into assholes by High School- being alone was better than being talked about behind your back or never included in plans. It made you resent them until it made you a loner. But if you stayed out of everybody's way then you'd be safe, right?

You couldn't be more fucking wrong. It was as if you had 'make this person's life hell' floating above you at all times. Kids, you didn't even know would call you a freak or shove you in the halls. Some days, surviving those 4 years seemed agonising and pointless to you...

At least one person was determined to prove you wrong.

Eddie "The Freak" Munson was the only person you had some sort of a relationship with in Hawkins. When one day, you'd found your lunch being ripped to shreds in the field by some assholes, you ran all the way to the trees, sobbing into your hands. Out of the forest, he emerged, leaves stuck in his shorter hair and round eyes full of worry. He had been the first person to be kind in High School, and that made you admire him so much. 

He hadn't called you a freak- he called the dog collar you turned into a bracelet cool and not weird, and he even shared one of his sandwiches with you. That day, in the first week of freshman year, you decided he was going to be your only friend. 

Over the years, you watched him grow into himself Eddie: becoming the intense, animated and overconfident 'freak' at your high school that taught you how to grow thicker skin. By junior year, you'd developed your own catalogue of insults you'd hurl at anyone trying to give you a hard time, and laughed maniacally at the 'devil worshipping' rumours they'd spread about the two of you. 

If only they knew what you were actually like alone. Eddie was much more laid back, no thanks to the weed he began dealing to anyone who'd be interested greatly helped in relaxing you both. It also jumbled your words and made Hawkins just that more bearable. Through the long summers, you found yourself spending more and more time with him, until you were hanging out every day. If you weren't at work, you were most likely with Eddie- in his van, in his trailer, in your trailer, in the park at Forest Hills, in the woods, wherever. Legal, or illegal it didn't matter because you were there together. 

You largely credited him as being the only reason you managed to survive high school and Hawkins in their own ways- existing with him wasn't as shitty as existing alone. He somehow made things more enjoyable. And you'd be lying if you didn't think about kissing him once, maybe twice. You really would give anything just to feel those soft lips against your own... Once...

You lost your chance when you'd received your Franklin acceptance letter and he broke the news to you that they'd called his Uncle Wayne to inform him Eddie had failed his exams and would need to stay behind another year. And you had to bury that anger deep within you and comfort him through chainsmoking and drinking through the rest of your summer together, considering you'd be gone for most of the year.

For the first time in your life, you were separated. And going to college without Eddie by your side was weird in itself. Sure you'd likely be taking separate classes- maybe he wouldn't even be studying at all? Maybe he'd work, or play with a new band he'd find up there... He'd find some way to fit into your life together... But he didn't. Because he wasn't there. He stayed behind while you moved on.

And yet you came back. You knew you could have stayed in Franklin for the summer but where was the fun in that? The one friend you had made that had a very believable fake ID was gone for the summer so you couldn't drink your way through the sweltering heat. You were sort of forced to hop on the next bus to Hawkins, heaving your luggage after you and staring out the window as Metalica drowned out any worries you may have of stepping back home... Home... Didn't fucking feel like it,

"That's a shame," You recognised that voice. You'd had it making small comments that made you smile to yourself in class, and lulling you to sleep with his songs, " 'I was made for loving you, baby...' " He was behind you now. He tapped the bell three times to the beat of the song as you turned up your Kiss song on the radio by your side. You turned sharply with a large grin,

" 'You were made for loving me...' " You finished excited in unison with him, barely on key from how wide you were grinning at the sight of him: long, raven-black mane of hair cascading down his shoulders and covering some of the pins higher up on his jean vest, sitting just on top of the warm leather jacket who's scent and touch you had long committed to memory.  You could faintly see the red devil beneath the layers, and you could only make out the 'i' with the flaming dot from the 'Hellfire Club' printed over his chest. He was live and in the flesh before you. Finally, together again, "Hey!" You greeted happily, unable to control the laughter that bubbled up from your chest as you moved forwards to the counter. Quickly, you hopped up on it and slid over the smooth top, ignoring the 'Hey, I just cleaned that!' from your younger co-worker as you fell into his arms, hugging him tightly. His familiar scent of cigarette smoke and weed quickly filled your lungs, warmly welcoming you back. Strangely, you could also faintly smell cologne on him; you'd tease him about that later. For now, you were just happy you were reunited, "God, did I miss you, Munson," You grinned, pulling away in his arms to look up at him,  "Did your hair get longer when I was gone?" You teased  playfully, twirling a strand around your finger,

"You missed me!?" He asked in a mocking shocked tone, causing you to laugh, "And yeah, it did. Hair grows like that," You grinned, 

"I had no clue, Eddie," You said playfully, smirking, "But you didn't even cut it or anything-"

"Who's that?" Your co-worker asked from behind you. He'd turned the music down, which caused you to turn and frown at his confused face, "Is he here for the interview?"

"No man, he's just my very... Good friend," You let go of Eddie from where you were holding him and pat his shoulder with a tight smile, glancing up at him and walking back around behind the counter, tightening the bow at the back of your apron, "It's Eddie? Munson?" You told your coworker, motioning to the man inside the store, "I told you about him, Micheal," You sighed,

"Yeah, well, Sam said if it's not part of the official training, I don't have to listen to you," You rolled your eyes as his voice droned on and he turned back to cutting up a few more fruits for the healthier smoothies,

"See what I gotta deal with on a daily basis, Eds?" You smiled as you leaned against the counter, glancing down at it briefly and grabbing a spray and a wipe, cleaning it, 

"Mh- just as awful as last time," He gave you a wink once you were done, and leaned an elbow on the counter so he could talk to you as usual. Things felt normal again- as normal as Eddie could provide you,

"Hey, I like this job," You defended, 

"You tolerate this job, barely," He smirked. He knew you too damn well, and you gave him a knowing smile, 

"Yeah. I do," You sighed, "But it pays me money to work here. And Sam's nice enough to let me wear my apron again a-"

"Hey, where is the old man, by the way?" Eddie asked, and you glanced around cautiously, before looking up at the newly installed security camera that had gotten busted when some middle schoolers thought it would be funny to construct the most repulsive smoothie known to man at you. Without pay. You didn't have the heart to let Sam know so you just prayed Micheal would fuck it up somehow, "Did he uh...?" Eddie made a cutthroat gesture when you turned back to look at him, and you smirked, shoving his hand away,

"Sam is right as rain, thank you very much for your concern," You smiled at the disappointed groan he gave, and reached over grabbing a toothpick and sticking it between his teeth, chewing on it to relieve a nicotine craving he likely had, "He's in the back doing inventory and helping the boys unload- we get fresh fruit here every day, after all," You tapped the sign that you had drawn, that now rested before the register. Eddie hummed, looking over your work with a small nod, "He still very much doesn't appreciate you loitering around," You teased, smiling at him, "But you're A-Okay in my books, Munson," You grinned at him, resting your elbows on the counter and setting your chin on your hands, "So how've you-"

"Why is he still inside then?" Your co-worker asked, unamused, and unsharing your excitement. You cast him a glare for even piping up, "Wait, is this the guy we're not supposed to let-"

"Because I can be," Eddie piped up from beside you, "And if you tell that old ass I was here, I'll punch you," Eddie threatened. Eddie had only ever been punched. You'd never personally seen him fight back; usually he'd just pick himself off the floor and go scowling to you with a bloody nose you'd clean for him, or a black eye you'd lend your ice to. You smirked, raising your brows at him,

"You actually can't be in here though," The younger kid said, moving to stand closer to you, "The sign says we're still closed. We open in fifteen minutes," When you came back two days ago, you couldn't sleep. You arrived at Forest Hills Trailer Park at the asscrack of dawn and spent the better part of that morning digging through your stuff to find your fake ID you'd wrongfully misplaced before leaving for college. Soon though, you wouldn't need it. Your twenty-first was only a few months away. God, you were old...

 The first thing you did was buy yourself beer because Jesus Christ was the summer looking warm as shit. You then went to Sam's to reclaim your apron, only to find your spot taken by Micheal. You didn't know or recognise him- he was either a junior or senior but you weren't paying attention to what he was saying because his voice pissed you off. All mumbly and gross it made you want to rip off your ears. Sam had been convinced he was the best for the job so you didn't question him, and felt relieved to be hired again. 

Micheal, like you, couldn't give a shit about this job, or you. Something you were thankful for. You mostly treated him like an annoying little brother, and rarely spoke to him because you really had nothing in common. He seemed so boring to you, so it greatly surprised you that he was the reason you were getting so many, customers. It was amusing, even now, seeing the line of newly 'Smoothie Cleanse' obsessed moms of Hawkins flocking outside and sending Eddie dirty looks for cutting inside. Micheal would get flirted with constantly, only to obliviously blink and just make the smoothie, while you only received death glare looks. It didn't really matter, considering you two shared the generous tips he'd receive at the end of your shifts,

"Shut up, Micheal," You said, waving him off, "Hey- I just remembered I never taught you how to clean the blenders because it's 'unsafe' so you've gotta go in the back to ask Sam," You said, pointing out the blender. He picked it up, frowning,

"But-" You didn't want to argue, 

"You want our customers complaining about our dirty blenders, Micheal?" You asked, and watched his eyes widen fearfully, "You want this place to shut down and ruin poor Sam's life? No. You don't. Get your ass in the back, find Sam, asking how to take the blender apart," You said threateningly, watching as he disappeared through the 'employee's only' door. You sighed, turning back to Eddie and grabbing a smoothie you'd made earlier for yourself in place of coffee, "How've you been, Eds?" You asked, smiling at him as you took a sip from your straw,

"Oh, you know, here and there," He said, "Everywhere really. You drink this crap?" He gestured to the drink you were holding, "Thought you'd be sick of it," He hummed,

"I was," You shrugged, taking a sip, "But this raspberry blast is so good," You hummed, handing it over to him so he could take a sip of the pink liquid, "I made it myself. Created the recipe and everything- it's part of the hiring process I told you about? Apparently, it's super popular now. I think Sam's even gonna call it the Smoothie of the Summer which means-" You tapped the counter eagerly, "-I get a promotion!" You grinned,

"Nice!" He smiled, holding his hand out for you to high five, before taking another sip, "I finished this by the way- sorry," He said, shaking the empty cup, "It's really good,"

"I told you!" You grinned, watching him toss the cup and miss the trash bin entirely, "You pick that up right now, we're not even open and you're making a mess," You pointed to the cup with a grin, 

"Mmmh- can't I'm still tasting the smoothie," He said, closing his eyes as you grinned, 

"Christ, Eds," You hummed, shaking your head as you glanced through the fresh ingredients in the cooling trays next to you, 

"What's in there? I can taste the raspberries but it's sweet and not weird like raspberries usually are," He said with a frown,

"You mean tart. They're tart," You explained, and watched as he blinked at you,

"Like a pie tart?" You laughed loudly, shaking your head, "You put a pie in there?"

"No!" You laughed, "No, you dumbass- tart is like a flavour it's not entirely sour but it's not sweet it's like... Between those uh-" You glanced behind you at the overhead menus, "It's got raspberries, obviously, but they're the frozen ones cause we have to get rid of them before Sam orders anymore," You said, glancing at the ingredients set out and pointing to them, "It's also got banana and yoghurt to give it the thick texture, apple juice to help it blend and make it sweet and then also honey. For the sweetness," You smiled, "You do have to tweak and really experiment with the ratios because one thing goes off and it's just gross and too sour or gross and too sweet," You stuck your tongue out, 

"I see, I see," He said, resuming his spot where he was leaning against the counter. He had pulled the toothpick from his mouth and was dulling the sharp ends by repeatedly drumming the stick into the counter, "It's nice. Refreshing, babe," He teased, and you rolled your eyes, "Oh and by the way- fuck you for not telling me you were back sooner," He said in mock hurt, putting a hand on his chest. Your eyes widened at his comment,

"Fuck- Shit- Sorry," You hissed, "I know I should have, I'm really sorry," You quickly apologised, "I didn't expect coming back home after so long was gonna be so chaotic but..." You sighed deeply, then shrugged your shoulders "It is," You frowned, "I had to go pay off some bills to Dave 'cause apparently I only paid for six months and not ten," You rambled,

"Oh shit," He said with a frown, looking concerned,

"Yeah, shit," You grumbled, "I was so excited to go buy new clothes for myself tomorrow at Starcourt and bam!- half my savings are gone," You frowned, "Gotta compromise if I want to eat and survive or look nice," You sighed,

"He knows you live alone, right?" He checked; you nodded, "And that you're a student going to college in another city, how many miles from home?"

"Yeah, of course he knows," You said, glancing over at the fruits you had paused in cutting up to dry the blenders. You glanced over to where you kept the single-use plastic gloves and put on a pair, before resuming your task, "He doesn't give a shit about students, though. He's never heard of a student discount," You grumbled,

"He knows you're only twenty, right?" You nodded, "You've been living there for eight years with your parents- three of those alone. He must have... Realised?" He said quietly, and you paused with the knife half sunk in the strawberry. 

To be honest, you didn't want to bother Dave with the news your father, your only caretaker, had passed when he did, so all the bills you'd paid for those three years were marked out in his name. You'd secretly hoped someone else would tell him to avoid having that conversation. You never really got used to admitting to what happened with your father; his sickness... His death. Eddie and his uncle Wayne were the only ones you had that day, and you spent the week over there, not ready to enter your home and realise you were alone,

"...Yeah," You said quietly, resuming your task,

"Then why don't you ask him to lower the rent?" He asked, leaning against the glass display and watching the movements of your hands intently, "Considering you're not even using it as a home while you're away in college,"

"Ugh, that was his point too," You frowned, 

"But you're not using his stuff? Why is he charging you if you're not there?" He frowned,

"He said something like..." You paused to think, remembering back to the conversation you had "Something like 'doesn't matter to me that you can't pay- you're hogging up the space, kiddo'," You mimicked the older man's voice and sighed, "He's annoying and stubborn and he hates kids," You settled,

"Damn..." Eddie sighed, "You should have told me. I could have covered for you," He said, and you smiled softly at his offer,

"Thanks, Eds that's very kind of you," You said sincerely, and noticed the small smile he flashed you made your heart flutter, "But four months' worth of rent is a lot. And I don't think you could magically pull that much out of thin air" You said, eyes widening slightly. You shook your head "Just gotta spend my summer vacationing away from school work with... Normal work," You grimaced,

"Damn," He frowned, 

"Anyhow-" You tried steering the conversation away from your boring life to him. He was bound to have something exciting to tell you, "Anything new with you?" You asked, 

"A few freshmen joined Hellfire," He said, as you 'ooo'-ed for him, "Yes, yes. My illustrious charm and endless charisma convinced them to join," You smiled, at his comments as he waved his arm for dramatic purposes, 

"You kick their asses yet, babe?" You smiled, glancing up at him from your task,

"Of course, babe, who do you think I am?" You could still remember the first night you started using the pet names for each other. One night, you were getting high in his room, giggling away at something, when he had mentioned his 'sweetheart'. He perhaps sensed your mood shift to serious all too quickly, because your giggles had faded and you were staring at him with a curious look. He lifted his hand above his head to affectionately strum the chords on his then, brand new guitar, which got you to laugh again. You'd started calling each other babe that night and it stuck. It was a friend thing, you were convinced. As playfully as asshole, shithead and dickhead were. But sometimes, you liked pretending there was affection behind the word, and not your usual playfulness,

"Good," You hummed softly. You still had a full bowl of freshly cleaned strawberries to get through, before opening time. When he didn't speak again, seemingly focused on your hands working away at slicing up the fruit, you spoke up, "You know how much I fucking love making shakes for the health moms out there?" You said sarcastically, nodding your head to the line of mostly older women queuing impatiently outside,

"Mhm," He hummed, scanning the line, "Yeah, I'm so jealous of em," He joked, making you breathe out a small laugh, "What did you want to get from Starcourt anyway?" He asked curiously,

"Huh?" You asked, not entirely hearing him,

"I asked what you wanted from Starcourt. The mall?" He elaborated,

"I don't know- anything that caught my eye?" You said with a smile, before sighing, "You know I couldn't afford much last year, considering I was putting the money off for rent and school... It was mostly window shopping then, so I'm excited to go now to actually buy stuff! I have my route planned out already- Sam's even letting taking the day off tomorrow so I can maximise on the buying and he hates the mall! I'm so excited, Eds- Wanna hear?" You said quickly, letting your excitement take over before he could utter a word, "Okay so bottom floor, West wing entrance, straight into JCPennies because there was such a cute necklace there that I think if I layered with-"

"I... Hate to disappoint you but uh..." Eddie said quickly, holding a hand up for you, "The mall burned down," You blinked, setting the knife down as you stared at him, 

"It did what?"

"Faulty wiring, I think? If I remember it from the news right... I don't know, my uncle read the paper but he might have burned it..." He said, humming to himself and tilting his head, eyes flicking over the ceiling to try to gather his thoughts, "The ceiling was unsafe and collapsed onto gas pipes and then boom! A fire," He said. Your shoulders dropped in disappointment as you frowned, looking at the pink-stained cutting board and knife. God, it sure had been a while since you were back home... Seems like the most exciting things happened while you were away, "But hey- the stores on the main street were forced to open back up, so that's... Good! You could always go there to shop," He said quickly, seeing your mood shift,

"Nah, that's not the same as walking through a mall," You sighed, "That's... Wow that's so shitty," You huffed, frowning, "So now I just have a day to... Do nothing?" You frowned, shaking your head as you went back to your task,

"You've always got me," Eddie said. You looked up at him, scanning him up and down, "Wherever you wanna go, I'll take you," He smiled, and you narrowed your eyes,

"How are you not burning up in that?" You pointed to his two jackets and long sleeve Hellfire shirt,

"You guys have good air con," He winked, and you raised your brows with a nod,

"We do have good air con," You smiled, "But outside?"

"Well, it's only warm. Not unbearably hot yet," He said, and you nodded, before sighing and dumping the pile of strawberries into their correct, chilled bin,

"If Sam sees you in here-"

"He'll be overjoyed!" Eddie grinned as he finished, "Now come on- hang out with me all day tomorrow. School's out for the summer, you have nothing to do; I have nothing to do. I'll make it worthwhile! Promice. I'll take you around Hawkins and show you everything that's different," He begged, and you sighed as you moved to set the dirty dishes in the nearby sink, 

"That's not gonna take us all day though," You said, and watched him pout, "It might take all evening though," You smiled," I get off at one today," You told him, and watched his face as he smiled in recognition, 

"Of course you get off at one today," He grinned, "Nice- I'll pick you up for lunch and we'll go driving around like old times," He said eagerly,

"Hell, why not?" You grinned as he hissed a little 'yes' to himself, "I-"

"You could always just come in tomorrow," Your co-worker piped in, seemingly appearing out of nowhere and scaring you. You twisted around to see him holding the now spotless blender, and cast him a glare, "And tell Sam your plans got cancelled,"

"Or you could keep your mouth shut and wash those blenders a little better," You snapped back, holding a hand up to Eddie and sliding off the sticky gloves you were wearing, discarding them in a nearby bin "What the fuck is that?" You said, grabbing one of the blenders and holding it out to him to see the blades.

"...I don't know," He said quietly,

"That-" You pointed inside, "-is peanut butter stuck to the blades," You said, "You better clean this right now-"

"But it's been through the dishwasher," He whined, "Can't we say it's... Clean?" You glared at him,

"Fine, Micheal. Don't clean it," You said, setting the blender and throwing up your hands, "But when you use this blender to make a smoothie for a customer who's got a severe peanut allergy and they fall to the ground unable to breathe and die-" You said angrily, "-You are gonna be singlehandedly paying out lawsuits," You threatened, shoving the blender into his chest and sighing as he moved into the back, "Unbelievable," You shook your head as you approached Eddie, leaning your arms on the counter. He seemed stunned, staring at you with an unreadable look on his face, "What? What is it?" You asked, standing up straighter,

"Y-" He cleared his throat, "You're very uhm... Serious about your job," He said, giving you a small smile. You tilted your head as you looked at him, furrowing your brows, 

"Yeah...? I am. I gotta make money and I can't do that if this establishment is paying off hospital bills..." You rambled, noticing the slight pink tinge to his cheeks and smiling softly, "Eds, are you blushing...?" You asked surprised, and stifled a small laugh as his eyes widened,

"No- You know what, babe? I'm actually- I'm late for a Hellfire club meeting!" He said, glancing from the watch on his wrist up to the clock above you reading 7:30 am. It was a warm July day- school was out for the summer- he did not have a Hellfire meeting.

It was always funny seeing him like this, enamoured by something you did. One night, after you were walking home together and drunkenly singing Rocky Horror's 'There's A Light', some asshole thought it'd be funny to follow the two of you yelling insults. The alcohol had added to your enraged state, causing you to stalk up to the creep to punch him in the face. Eddie had quickly grabbed your arm and ran into the forests, but the way he had looked at you in the night made you feel warm,

 "I uh- gotta go. See you later!" Did he call you babe there? You blinked to yourself, before smirking as you watched his hair bounce as he approached the door,

"Flip the sign!" You yelled quickly, "Thanks Eds!" You grinned to yourself as he left. God, it was good seeing him again- you wanted to tell him how much you missed him but alas, your coworker had to get in the way, along with the timer on the front counter blaring loud, and the bell at the door jingling with his sudden exit. With a small sigh, you glanced at the disappointed woman as she entered, "Good morning!" You said in your best, cheery, customer service voice,  "Welcome to Sam's, how may I help you today?" And so your shift began, then seemed to drag on for excruciating hours...

Eddie had remembered to pick you up at one, even arriving a whole twenty minutes early. You could see him leaning against his van outside, nodding along to 'For Whom The Bell Tolls'  blaring obnoxiously loud from inside. His head was downcast, but he'd occasionally look around, or glance inside the shop, a cigarette perched between his two fingers that he periodically brought up to his plump lips, smoke tumbling into the air. Someone had come in a little while ago to complain about the loud music and the man outside, but you simply had to smile and say that technically, because it was a public path he was parked on, you couldn't do anything about him. You kept glancing up, and if you made eye contact, he'd smile or stick his tongue out, making faces to try and distract you as you finished up cleaning for the day. You know he'd come in, but he'd 'overstayed' his welcome, according to Sam.

Sam was an old, old-fashioned type of guy. You didn't mind him- part of you looked up to him.  He did have his own business that was as successful as anything could be in fucking Hawkins... At least he loved his home- he told you the countless stories of the establishment being an ice cream shop he ran with his wife up until Starcourt opened up. 'Scoops Ahoy' took all his profits so he had to pivot to the next best thing: smoothies. You had no clue why he didn't just make milkshakes, considering they were only a temperature difference from ice cream, but he'd simply smiled and told you 'Sam's Milkshake Bar' didn't have the same ring to it as 'Sam's Smoothie Shack'. 

Sam had always been wary of Eddie, not trusting him as he did you. You tried explaining that if he just got to know him, he'd see he was harmless. Though Sam was still cautious, never failing to mutter about 'kids these days' and their 'loud rock music' poisoning their minds. You smiled as you passed by the older man, letting him know you were off for the day and wishing him a good afternoon as you ducked into the back to hang up your apron and grab your jacket and bag,

"Got it stuck in your head, hmm?" You hummed as you exited the store, faintly hearing the jingling of the bell behind you as you left the small shop and approached him. The song had changed to your Kiss song as you approached, almost on queue. You grinned as he glanced up and saw you, appearing to light up instantly. He pushed himself up, the second cigarette he had sparked up falling to the ground and disappeared beneath his shoe,

"Your chariot awaits, my dear!!" He said loudly, moving his arms to gesture to the van you had long missed since you left Hawkins a year ago, "Go on, get in. I've got you for the rest of the day, right?" He said, pushing his hands in his pockets and coming to stand in front of you so you could hear what he was saying over the music. You opened your mouth slightly, glancing from the van back to him and tilting your head,

"For the rest of the day?" You asked amused, and raised your brows as he nodded,

"Come on- didn't you say you missed me?" You knew him. You'd been friends for so long that you could feel the twinge of hurt behind those amused words. Before you could see his face, he moved to the van and opened the passenger side door for you, letting the music grow louder and drown out your worried thoughts, "Get in!!" He yelled over the music, and being left without much choice, you just grinned, walking over to him, 

"You give me no choice, Munson," You told him, before clambering inside and throwing your bag at your feet.

He shut the door once you were inside, you let yourself glance around the van you'd spent most of the summer in. It faintly smelled like weed- you hoped he wasn't high at the moment. Eddie was a reckless driver as it was and being high surprisingly didn't make him more careful. It was still messy, but you could tell he made an effort in cleaning it for you. You turned the music down slightly so you could hear yourself think and pulled the overhead mirror down, glancing over your face to make sure your make-up was still intact after the long day. Glancing to the side, you noticed a polaroid of the two of you that was tucked into the side. It was a little older- from the darker background, you could see it was taken in Eddie's room. Both your faces were grinning back at you. You could barely remember taking it because of how greened out you were, but you couldn't deny the picture was a nice one. You could see the date the picture was taken was scrawled on the bottom, along with a small heart drawn in the corner there. You smiled softly, reaching a hand up to skim your finger over the sharpie. You jumped slightly at the sound of the door opening, 

"Snooping?" He asked, shutting the door and putting his seatbelt on, gaze flicking to the polaroid,

"Just reacquainting myself," You said, shutting the mirror and leaning back to put your own seatbelt on, "I'm so glad I'm not walking home, my feet are killing me," You sighed, getting comfortable in your seat, 

"Mmmh," He hummed, smiling as he started the car, "You should have asked me to take you," He said, glancing over at you, 

"And wake you up at four in the morning?" You raised your brows, "I'd just piss off Wayne. We both know you're a heavy sleeper, Eds," You smiled, grabbing the overhead handle as he pulled out of the spot and began driving off. He laughed softly, 

"Should have gone and thrown rocks at my window," He said, sparing you a glance. You noticed him eyeing your hand, 

"Wouldn't have worked-"

"Then you should have thrown rocks through my window," He said,

"Have you forgotten the possum incident?" You laughed as he shuddered, "Yeah,"

"Those things have to be my least favourite forest creatures," He huffed,

"You have a favourite?" You asked amused, 

"I'm not telling you," He huffed, "You can't even trust me to drive you around, "He said, glancing at your arm again,

"I would trust you if you weren't so reckless. You know, I wasn't gonna mention it but how many curbs have we hit already?" You smirked, 

"Like... Two?" You gave him a look, "...Four," You laughed softly, at his response, shaking your head and humming softly to the 'Creeping Death' playing through the speakers, 

"So is it a wolf?" You asked after a moment, and laughed at the glare he sent you, 

"I'm not answering that," He grumbled, but you laughed it off, "Hey, open the glove box for me," He hummed, and you did as he asked. There was a cassette inside which you pulled out and glanced over. In sharpie, he had written-

"'Darkest Nightmare'?" You asked amused, grinning, "You made another mixtape?"

"Uhuh- put it in, I'm kinda sick of Metallica," He sighed, and you did as he asked, grinning as he turned up the radio. As usual, his driving got worse, focusing more on the music you were yelling and screaming along to at the moment, praying the seatbelt would at least protect you from a crash. 

Somehow, you'd survived his tour of Hawkins: unsurprisingly, not too much had changed. You drove by the remnants of Starcourt and were saddened to hear of the passing of Cheif Jim Hopper. As much as the old cop loved to give you and Eddie shit for trespassing, he'd only yell at you as you sped off in the van or ran into the forest, laughing together. You were glad, because you really couldn't deal with a criminal record.

The stores along the main street were opening up again, and you eagerly started making plans for which ones you'd want to go to tomorrow. There were a few new ones that had opened up that you were eager to go into. In the meantime, Eddie filled you in on Hellfire and his campaigns, stopping at a diner and eating dinner in the van. It all felt right, and normal again, and you kept smiling fondly as he excited rambled on. Occasionally, you'd remind him of his now cold burger and fries, but he didn't seem to be listening much to you. You didn't mind- you preferred listening anyways.

Once you were done, he drove you back home in comfortable silence, enjoying the mixtape that now played a song by Megadeath you didn't recognise. The sun was setting, causing the sky to bloom in pretty colours that captured your attention. When the trees started getting thicker as you approached Forest Hills, you sighed, grabbing your stuff from the floor. You'd called the trailer park 'home' for the longer part of your life. It hadn't changed either, but you enjoyed his quiet comments on who lived where and what had changed with them. Nothing too interesting but it was nice to be informed,

"...And finally my humble abode," He said, parking the van and undoing his seatbelt,

"Damn... I really did not miss the Hills," You smiled fondly as you looked over his home, before glancing across to your own home. You hadn't realised he had gotten out until your door opened. He smiled at you, 

"Gimmie those," He said, and you gently placed the bag in his hand. He quickly extended his other hand to you, and you rolled your eyes as you took it to get out of the van,

"Thank you, oh fair, kind Sir," You said playfully, shutting the door as you got out. He grinned as he slung your bag over his shoulder, 

"Anything for you, fair one," He said as he moved behind you to lock the car. You rolled your eyes, folding the jacket over your arm as you glanced around the area, taking it in again. The playground that separated your homes looked the same, nothing having changed in the almost year you were away. Perhaps there were more cigarette butts and trash around the area but that was common here. You felt his presence near you; the familiar and pleasant scent of smoke and a forest earthiness growing stronger, "It uh... Hasn't felt the same without you here," He said surprisingly softly, and you glanced up at him, 

"Yeah," You hummed, but realised that didn't make sense, "Uh- I mean it's... Been strange. I've never been away from Hawkins for this long it's... Weird to be back," You said, sighing,

"Yeah, I get it," Eddie said, sighing, "Oh, by the way, someone finally moved into the haunted trailer next to yours," He pointed out, "You've finally got a new neighbour," You looked at the house, smiling fondly as you saw a person hanging up their laundry,

"Huh. I'm surprised Dave finally managed to rent that place out to someone," You said, digging through your pockets to produce your keys, "Oh- right," You mumbled, fiddling with the keychains, "Here!" You smiled at him as you turned to place the charm into his hands, "I had to put it on my keys so I wouldn't forget- you have no idea how stressed I was thinking I lost it back in my dorm," You breathed, smiling, 

"Holy shit," He murmured, fingers skimming over the small metal wolf head you'd gotten him, "This is cool," He grinned, "I'll put it with the others," He teased, 

"Thought you liked my keyrings," You said, twirling your keys as you began heading home, eyes flicking to your neighbour curiously, 

"I do!" He said quickly, "Thanks, a lot. I think it's really cool-" 

"Who is that?" You mumbled to him, eyeing the girl hanging up her laundry on your shared line, "Should we go say hi?" You glanced up at him with a small smile,

"Why'd anyone want to say hi to us?" Eddie asked with a chuckle, but you just rolled your eyes and approached her. Her gaze flicked to you both as you approached, and she removed her headphones from her head,

"Hello!" You said as pleasantly as you could. It was the same tone you'd use with customers to appear more friendly. You pleasantly introduced yourself, and stuck your hand out for her to shake, "I live right next door- I haven't uh... Been here though, because I've been in Franklin for college," You said as she placed her hand in yours and shook it, eyes flicking from Eddie to you with an uncertain look, "We share a line," You also added, 

"Uhuh. Yeah I know," The red-head said shortly. You grimaced, glancing at Eddie, before looking down at her. She had headphones around her neck, and you could faintly hear a song playing, "Are you guys just gonna stand there now?" She asked, and you blinked for a moment

"Are you a big fan of Kate Bush?" You asked, recognising the song,

"I guess," She said in a dejected way, shrugging as she went back to doing her chore. You glanced at her trailer before looking back at her,

"She's good, right?" You smiled, still trying to make pleasant conversation and not freak her out, "I love 'Running Up That Hill,'" She nodded once, and turned her back on you, and continued working. With a small sigh, you glanced over at Eddie, who shrugged his shoulders, "What's your name?" You asked,

"I'm Max," She said shortly, casting you a glare. With a sigh, you nodded, trying to uphold your cheery disposition,

"Cool- nice to meet you, Max," You smiled, "If you need anything, I'm nex-"

"I heard," She said coldly, casting you another look that was defiantly a glare, "Do you like bothering people when they're doing something?" She asked, 

"No, not really," You said quickly, "I'm just trying to be nice and introduce myself to my new neighbour," You frowned, "I just haven't had one in-"

"Great- be nice somewhere else, freak," She muttered, throwing a sheet over the clothing line and grabbing the now empty basket, storming back into her home,

"Damn," You frowned, "It was nice meeting you, Max!" You yelled after her, before turning back to walk to Eddie. He had walked away a little while ago and was waiting for you by your door. You stood by him with a sigh, looking down at your keys, "Wonder what's up with her?" You mumbled, "Think she got grounded or something?" You asked, glancing back at him, "Do people still ground their kids...?" You said playfully with a slight smile, though it fell quickly,

"No, don't think so," He said, walking after you into your home and removing the keys from your door, "More like her uh... Brother? No- her step-brother died in that fire at Starcourt," You nodded solemnly, glancing around your small home with a frown,

"So she's taking it out on everyone else?" You hummed, 

"Guess so," He said softly, and you heard the slight thud of your bag as he set it down on your couch,

"Guess she's tired of hearing condolences," You mumbled, eyes flicking to a photograph of your late father on the wall with a small frown. You heard the door close and the clicking of the locks as Eddie closed it for you. You muttered a small 'thank you' as you stretched your arms above your head tiredly, "Did you know him?" You asked, "This step-brother?"

"Did I know Billy Hargreeves?" He said, turning to look at you. You winced at the mention of the name, "Yeah. We did," He said solemnly. Hargreeves was new but quickly established himself as one of the worst assholes you'd ever met. You did what you could to stay out of his way because of how... Violent he usually got...

"God..." You sighed, "Well..." You mumbled, throwing your jacket over the couch and falling back on it. You still hadn't unpacked since you came back- your suitcase stood where you'd left it by the door, along with a duffle bag that was flung to the ground. You just didn't have the motivation to wash all your clothes or get unpacked... And besides, the clothing line was full, thanks to Max.  You could hear Eddie moving around behind you, rummaging through your kitchen to find something to eat, "You know I haven't been called a freak since I left Hawkins?" You said, moving a hand up to your forehead to rub at it, trying to soothe the tension and pain growing there,

"Seriously?" He asked, amusement clear in his tone, "Thought... You know, college? People there would be more..." He trailed off,

"Surprisingly, there are a lot more 'freaks' and 'goths' in the big city," You smiled, leaning your head back all the way to watch him. Eddie had shed himself of his usual jackets, hanging them up on the back of one of the two chairs so he was left in just his Hellfire shirt. He'd rolled his sleeves up so you could see the peaks of the bat swarm frozen in ink on his arm. You watched as he rummaged in your drawer, pulling out a bottle opener and hearing the clicks of two bottles opening. You sighed softly, smiling as he walked over to you, "Have I mentioned you're the best?" You grinned as you sat back up, shifting to give him some space so he could sit with you,

"Mh- you deserve something after a hard day's work," He winked playfully, clinking the bottle with you as you eagerly took a swig of the beer, humming happily as you drank the cold liquid, 

"Yeah, uhuh," You hummed between sips,

"I'd also make you something to eat but-"

"But you're banned from my kitchen," You grinned, "After you set fucking popcorn on fire-"

"It's not my fault your microwave is stupid!!" He grinned, 

"It's a normal microwave Eds! You set it to thirty minutes and not three," You both laughed, "How the fuck do you burn popcorn?" You ask between giggles,

"I guess it's a special talent of mine," He hummed, taking a sip as you continued laughing, "Anyways, you really should eat something. Knowing you and how long you take getting ready, then with the walk... I doubt you've eaten much today," He said softly, 

"When'd you become the food police, Eds?" You smiled, 

"Considering you're drinking and only ate dinner today, I don't want you to get too drunk too fast," You almost spit out your beer, 

"Eds- I'm not gonna get drunk off one beer," You smiled at him,

"Still. Better to eat and drink," He winked at you, clicking his fingers. You sighed, drinking more of your beer, "You've got nothing but drinks, babe," He added, and you glanced over at him as he took a sip, "And when did you get back?"

"Yesterday? I haven't had the time to go shopping-"

"Nope- you got here two days ago," He said, and you turned your head from where you'd been staring at the decorations you had put up to stare at him,

"How did you...?" You asked softly, and watched as he frowned softly, taking a swig before setting the bottle on the ground near your feet, "How did you know?" You asked with a frown, 

"I saw you uh... Coming home," He admitted, "Two days ago..." He said, not looking at you and instead focusing on how much beer was left in his bottle,

"I got here at, like, 3 am Eddie?" You said, blinking,

"Yeah. You did," He nodded, watching you. You were silent for a moment,

"Why were you awake at 3 am?" You asked. He briefly met your eyes, before looking away and taking a nervous, shaky breath,

"I..." His eyes darted around,

"Why didn't you-"

"Dude, who goes to someone's house at 3 am?" He said, quickly standing and walking away from you. You jumped slightly at how fast he moved, before turning your whole body so you could watch him, confused at his sudden mood change, "I didn't want to bother you since you clearly didn't..." He trailed off, back turned to you. Your eyes widened slightly,

"Eddie, what?" You stood, careful of the beer you'd nudged with your foot and following after him, "I didn't do what?" You asked, standing near the couch to give him space. He moved into your kitchen and stood by your table, leaning against it at first,

"You just-" He sighed,  sitting on top of the table, eyes focusing on the floor and watching his shoes shuffling around on the floor for a moment, before speaking "You were gone for- what? Almost a year," He said your name quietly, and you frowned from where you watched him on the couch, "I mean, what was I supposed to think?"

"I wrote letters to you," You said, "I sent you packages and letters as much as I could- we never stopped talking," You said,

"But you didn't visit," He said with a frown, glancing up at you. He couldn't hold the eye contact, and found himself looking away quickly, again. He folded his arms across his chest, "What was I supposed to think? My best friend just... Didn't want to hang out with me anymore?" He shrugged. From the dim, setting sunlight shining inside, you could see his eyes twinkling with tears, and you could feel your heart constrict for him in your chest,

"I wrote to you explaining why I couldn't go," You said defensively, walking closer to him, "Fuck, Eds, I don't have the damn money to be driving back and forth between Franklin and Hawkins!" You said louder than intended, "It wasn't about not wanting to hang out with you, it was about saving money-"

"Okay- I get that," He said sharply, "But my point is... What else do you have here?" He glanced at you, "You and I both hate this place, we made plans all the time to get out of Hawkins- you got out and I stayed behind, I-"

"Eddie, I couldn't stay here another fucking year waiting for you to graduate," You tried, coming to stand in front of him, "You... We both know how awful living here is. This small town will only see us as... Freaks and... Damned devil worshipers when we're not-"

"Right- of course!" He said sarcastically, throwing his hands up and laughing coldly, "I'm sorry, I just thought that if you got the privilege to leave Hawkins, it'd at least... Be with me," He said, looking into your eyes. His wide, brown eyes bore into yours and were tinted slightly pink. A few tears slipped down his reddened cheeks and you could faintly see the tremble in his lips. He'd folded his arms again and was digging his fingernails into his forearms, knuckles going white and small crescents appearing in his skin. You blinked, opening your mouth to say something, but closed it,

"Eddie..." You said softly, watching him move his head to look away from you. Seeing another tear rolling down his cheek, you reached a hand up to try and wipe it off of his face without thinking. He quickly flinched, slapping your hand away with his and shaking his head, leaving you shocked,

"Fuck," He hissed, and stood abruptly, making you back away. He reached to the side, grabbing his jean jacket from the chair, "Forget about it," You heard him mutter his name,

"Eddie!" You yelled after him as he moved quickly to your door, fumbling with your keys to unlock it, "Eddie what is going on- talk to me please," You begged, 

"I said forget about it, okay?" He turned sharply. You stared at him, never seeing him so hurt with you before. You really didn't know what to do, and instead stared at him as you both stared at one another, 

"But- Eddie!" You yelled out of your door as he quickly turned away and began walking away, "Stop running from me- Eddie!" You called again, wincing at how your voice echoed through the park. But he didn't turn. He just walked home faster.

You felt frozen in place, staring after him as his hair fluttered behind him dramatically. You opened your mouth to call after him again, but quickly closed it, feeling tears brimming in your eyes as you disappeared inside. You could hear the door slamming behind him, and you quickly shut your own door, falling back against it as you let your tears fall,

"What the fuck?" You breathed, blinking rapidly. In all the years you knew Eddie, you never... Fought like this: where you were both too distraught to even want to look at one another, or solve the problem. He had never run from you. You had never... Been the problem. 

Hours passed but your mind was still occupied with Eddie and the fight. Your mind was always occupied with Eddie, but you were never worried for him like this... You tried distracting yourself by going grocery shopping before the sun would completely set. The burn in your legs as you walked into town helped- at least that was a physical pain and not... Ugh.

The pain in your arms accompanied you on your way home, and you found yourself regretting your decision to walk. Maybe you should have waited until things cooled off with Eddie so you could at least catch a ride here and there. The ice cream you had bought would surely be melted by now- what made you want ice cream anyways? You also couldn't buy any beer or vodka to take the pain away, so unless you wanted to see the one person you really didn't want to right now, you'd have to... Reconcile your emotions...

Okay.

Eddie was obviously upset you had left, but why on Earth was he pissed off at you? It wasn't your choice to leave- you'd sent your applications together... Though you never saw his, he had drunkenly admitted to you that he'd failed his final year days later and would have to stay in Hawkins to repeat it. He'd said it casually and whenever you mentioned it, he'd just wave it off like it wasn't a big deal to him. It had made you sad to know he wouldn't be leaving with you, but he never... Saw it as a big deal. Or made it look like that.

Did he think you left because of him? Eddie always ran from his problems- that's just what he did. If he knew he wasn't able to pass a quiz, he wouldn't show up for it; if he knew he couldn't finish a project in time, he wouldn't submit anything. You were there for all his failures, and tried supporting him through them, but he'd always make the same comment about 'education not defining him' or the 'project being stupid' and 'pointless'. You never realised how... Bad it was for him...

And perhaps it didn't help that you came home and didn't speak a word to him for the two days. It was purely overwhelming being back in a town where every person you passed cast you disgusted looks simply for how you'd dress or do your make-up. What was strange to them was scary, but it made you feel unwelcome and unwanted in a place that was supposed to be home. It's why you hated it in Hawkins. All you had here was Eddie. You sought comfort in your shared strangeness and unwillingness to conform to society- their 'shunning' hurt less when you were together. You had his comfort.

But you should be angry at him too- he was mad at you for something out of your control, and that hurt. If you could have left with him, you would. Why did he not realise that? You spoke about leaving Hawkins all the time... With a sigh, you flexed your fingers, looking over the empty grocery bags now on the floor of your kitchen. You were done unpacking those, and now had nothing to do. You glanced over at the waiting suitcase and duffle. If you were unpacking groceries you might as well make yourself at... home. Briefly, you glanced up at the window, and froze, noticing the very man your brain was occupied by.

A long plume of smoke left his lips, swirling into the dark sky. The end of the blunt he had rolled faintly glowed orange as he took a drag. He was faintly illuminated by the lights around the area, and you could see his shoulders sag as he looked down. You could faintly hear the sound of his shoes kicking against the metal dome structure of the park you both frequently found yourselves in on your peaks or come downs. You'd lay back on the grass together, staring at the multitude of stars, or giggling and shushing one another as you tried to fit into the tiny seats of the swingset...

 He was sitting in just his vest, the pins glittering in the night- you could see from where you were that he'd pulled the sleeves of the Hellfire shirt down over his arms to fight the chill of the night. You glanced over your shoulder to your kitchen table and sighed- he forgot to take his jacket with him...

You grabbed it, pulling it over your shoulders and allowing yourself to breathe in his scent. You weren't sure of calling Hawkins your physical home, but you were sure that Eddie's smell was the closest you'd ever feel to describing home... At least now you had an incentive to go make up with him again. Ha... Ha...

Silently, you shuffled to your door, picking the keys up you had dropped. You allowed yourself a moment to gather your thoughts, before stuffing the keys into the pocket of the leather, enjoying the feeling of it brushing against your skin again. As you opened the door, you found Eddie right outside, muttering to himself and seemingly doing the same thing you were a moment ago. You both jumped back slightly in surprise at finding the other person in the same place, and for a moment, you both stared, unmoving and unspeaking. Until finally, you opened your mouth,

"Uh," You tried, clearing your throat and looking down for a moment, "You uh... Got any more blunts we could... Share?" You asked him uncertainly, glancing back up at him. You could still see his face was red in the faint light from inside your home. He had been crying too. He only gave you a small nod, still silent as you turned the lights inside your home off and locked the door behind you. 

Together, you walked to the park again, still lost in your own heads and silent. Your eyes flicked to him and you watched him as he sat beside you in your usual spot on top of the dome. His movements were slow and careful as he handed over a roughly rolled blunt and lighter,

 "Thanks," You said, picking the blunt up in your fingers and reaching for the lighter, only to have him pull it into his grasp and lighting it. Carefully, you lit the blunt and took a drag, "Thanks," You breathed again as you handed it over for him to take a hit of, 

"No problem-" His voice was shaky, "Shit," He whispered. You glanced over at him, noticing one of his hands still shaking. He had this far-away look in his eye that made you fill with a deep sadness for him, 

"I'll uhm... Start," You said softly, glancing behind you and carefully setting your hands on the poles of the dome and grabbing on to them to steady yourself. With a sigh, you began, "Okay," You closed your eyes, nodding your head to collect your thoughts, before speaking, "I'm sorry. For not seeing you as soon as I got back, Eddie. It's just... It's been a lot being back here in Hawkins. You know how bad being here makes me feel, and finding out I might be getting evicted and getting back into a job, I just..." You sighed deeply, "I know you're mad at me for leaving and not talking to you and stuff but... I have responsibilities now," You explained, looking up at him. He was listening but not looking at you, focused on rolling the blunt between his fingers as it smouldered idly, "I'm an adult. I have to... Live. Pay bills, make money... That shit," You said, reaching forwards and taking the blunt from him, taking a drag, "It's just been a lot. I did want to spend time with you just... I wanted to wait until I got everything figured out," You concluded, nodding solemnly, "I didn't mean to make you feel like I... Didn't want to see you or anything," You frowned. 

From beside you, Eddie sighed, and you could see his hair shaking as he nodded to your final statement. It took a moment for him to say anything- he shifted first, moving so he could rest his hands on his knees and clasp his hands together, pressing them to his mouth, 

"Shit," He sighed, pressing his hands to his forehead, "That's... Yeah," He nodded. You stared at him, waiting for him to speak, but frowning as he didn't,

"What's up?" You asked, 

"Well, whatever I'm gonna say is gonna sound fucking pointless compared to you," He sighed, sparing you a glance. You frowned at him, shifting so you could look at him better, only for Eddie to turn his head away from you again. You delicately placed a hand on his shoulder,

"Eds, no I'm not gonna..." You sighed, "If you don't run away from me again, I'm not... Gonna find it pointless," You said, patting him gently. You tilted your head to try and appear in his field of vision and gave him an encouraging smile. He grimaced at you, fully turning his head to look back to his trailer, before sighing. You felt him relax under your touch slightly, and turn his head slightly to look at you, 

"We just..." He sighed, "I missed you so much," He breathed, and you saw the tears quickly rolling down his face, "And after we'd talked so much about... Leaving Hawkins behind- together," He looked at you, eyes finding yours quickly, "It was always together. Leaving, and living together somewhere. Working... Together," He rambled, "And then... Watching you leave without me... It made me realise that... Fuck," He sighed,

"You can say it, Eds," You said softly. He shook his head slightly, and as you opened your mouth to encourage him again, you felt his shoulder move. He took your hand in his, bringing it down to rest on the cool metal below you. You watched, curiously, as he moved his hand so he was holding yours,

"It made me realise that we've... Spent the better parts of our lives together. It made me realise how much losing you hurt me- and that terrified me," He spoke your name worriedly, and lifted an arm to wipe his wet face, "And made me realise that I never wanted to lose you again," He rambled suddenly, his words making your heart thunder in your chest, "And when you wrote saying that you weren't gonna be back for the summer, the winter, and the spring..." He breathed shakily, "I knew it was because you had nothing left here and I guess a part of me thought you meant me too..." He sniffled, "It made me realise I uhm... Actually want to finish school now-" He laughed to himself, "-So I can finally leave and... Find you again- be with you again, like we always were... I mean, sure I can pretend to be confident, and fine without you- God knows I've had practice with that with Hellfire, but-" He took a deep breath to steady himself, "Pretending to be fine without you just made me miss you way more," He said, breathing shakily, "It... Made me realise I..." The words died on his tongue momentarily, and he just sighed, "I think I'm in love with you," He confessed.

For a moment it felt like time stood still, your eyes captured by his, your breath stuck in your throat as those words left his mouth. You blinked a few times and let the blunt fall from your hand, tumbling to the ground. Your now empty hand balled, your nails dug into your palm to wake you up from this most pleasant of dreams. Your own eyes rapidly filled with tears: here was your best friend, who you have loved and pined over for so long, admitting he finally felt the same for you as you felt for him the moment you first met him,

"And I know you might not feel the same for me, and that's fine," He rambled on, seemingly not realising you were completely dumbfounded by his words, "But I just need you to know that I love you and-"

You quickly pressed your lips to his to silence him, and it took him a moment to register what was happening, causing him to let out a startled 'mmph!' as your lips touched. It was a moment before you felt Eddie's lips moving against yours. Your hands moved up to touch his cheeks, skin gentle yet wet with tears against your hands you pulled him closer. His own hands soon moved to your arms, holding you in place so gently, that when you parted, tears spilled down your face too. You let out a gentle laugh,

"Eddie, you big stupid idiot," You smiled at him, moving a thumb over his cheek to swipe a tear rolling down his face, "I think I love you too," You said, "Don't you think if I could, I wouldn't spend all my time with you?" You said softly, 

"Yeah," He breathed, appearing starstruck, round eyes darting over your face for any sign of a lie, 

"Yeah," You grinned back, gripping his hand and shaking it a little, "Dumbass," You said affectionately, 

"But I thought-"

"Thought what?" You quickly said, "I didn't feel the same?" He nodded slowly, "Eddie..."

"I didn't think you wanted to be around me anymore," He admitted softly, "I thought... You know. You'd find new people out in Franklin and you wouldn't need me anymore," He said softly, looking at you now, 

"Oh, Eddie," You said softly, squeezing his hand gently, "I guarantee no one could ever replace you," You assured him, "Besides? It's what? Only a matter of time before you find out if you passed your exams and then you'll move up to Franklin with me," You said softly, 

"You want me up there with you?" He asked uncertainly,

"Of course, Eddie," You said, "Those dorms suck. If we got a place together and split the rent somewhere close, I think it'd work out," You said softly, squeezing his hand again. He stared at you for a moment, before smiling slightly and leaning forward to kiss you again. You smiled against his lips, tilting your head to kiss him better and moving your hand back to touch his face gently, 

"I've uh..." He said softly as he pulled away just enough to speak, his forehead touching yours, "I've wanted to do that for a long time," He said, breathily. He then whispered your name, and you smiled,

"Well, I'm glad you finally did... Babe," You said with a smile, happy to hear him laugh. He glanced down at your joint hands, and brought them up to his face to kiss your knuckles. The act made your eyes widen and you quickly moved your hand from his to put both hands on his face and pull him close, kissing him again. It was almost like now you'd started, you never wanted to stop...

"Ew," You heard from the blue. You jumped, turning to stare at Max, who was leaning against the flimsy metal of the fence surrounding the park and frowning at you two, "Do you always cry when you kiss?" She asked as you whipped away the tears on your face,

"No," You quickly said, "We're just... Having an emotional moment, okay?" You said with a small laugh,

"Yeah, you spying on us, kid?" You heard Eddie say from beside you, and when you removed your hands from your eyes, you could see he had slid off the structure and was waiting for you with a hand outstretched. Ever the gentleman... Gently, you slid your hand into his, moving off the structure and glancing down at the grass, making sure the blunt had been put out, before tightening your hold on Eddie's hand, 

"What're you doing out here anyway?" You asked, turning to look at her. She shrugged, putting her headphones back on and turning on her heel,

"I'm going on a walk," She mumbled, taking a few steps away from you,

"But it's dark?" You said, moving forward with Eddie still holding you close,

"Yeah, kid, it's not safe," He chimed in, and you glanced up at him with a slight smile, 

"Why do you two care? Don't you have more crying and kissing to do?" She said coldly, and involuntarily, you let out a snort. You covered your mouth quickly, but Eddie had heard, and began to laugh, 

"Shut up, Eds," You grinned, before glancing back at Max, "You're funny, kid-"

"I don't need babysitters," She said, "I'm not a kid, either," She huffed, but you were already hopping over the fence and following after her, 

"Sure you do!" You grinned, stuffing your hands into the pockets of Eddie's leather jacket and glancing over as you felt him looping arms with you, 

"Yeah, we'll chase the monsters away k- Max," He said, and though she sent you two a glare, it made you feel better knowing you were going after her and ensuring she was safe. Besides- she had her headphones on and walkman playing a tape. She couldn't hear you and Eddie talking and laughing as you caught up on all you had missed when you were apart. Finally, you were together again, and now that you'd confessed you loved him and begun eagerly planning your future together, you hoped he wouldn't feel as alone as he did without you.

[pogueit]

First Aid Kit

Paring: Pope Heyward x Reader

Summary: You have an accident while attempting to do a new trick and Pope is the man for the job.

Warnings: blood ofc and general first aid stuff nothing too graphic tho!!

WC: 1,994

A/N: There's not enough Pope content!! SO I made some!! Pls enjoy some Pope and Y/N action!

THE GIF IS NOT MINE IT BELONGS TO @rue-bennett !!!!

Saturdays are not meant to be boring, but this scorching afternoon there was nothing to do. John B. went on his weekly date with Sarah, JJ scored a date with a kook he's been eyeing, and Kie was forced to go to a gala on the mainland, so it was just you and Pope alone in the chateau. He had been studying all day for an upcoming chemistry exam he has first thing Monday morning. You tried all day to get his head out of the books, but he was not having any of it. It wasn't until the late afternoon that you got him to go outside with you. Even though his nose was still deep in the piles of notes at least he was outside. You were skating on a horrifically uneven stretch of concrete that was oddly slathered in front of the chateau. Every time he could hear the wheels pop upwards he would snap his eyes to you, cheering you on when you stuck the landing. You were glad that he was far enough away to not be able to see how red your cheeks were. You've had a massive crush on the boy ever since Kie introduced you to the group. Your mom had just moved your ass down to the banks to get a fresh start far away from your poor excuse for a father. She managed to quickly score a job at The Wreck (where you were also forced to work part-time) as head chef. Your mom got on well with the Carrera's who only deemed it appropriate to force their daughter to hang out with you, being new in town and all. Kie wasn’t bothered at all and was glad to have another girl around. After hanging out with her for a single day, you wouldn’t hesitate to take a bullet for her. Kiara didn't introduce you to the knuckleheads right away, since she had taken a liking to you and didn't want to scare you away. The day that she did you remembered Pope had been the last one to say "hey" yet his was the warmest. After that day your stomach would erupt with butterflies whenever you'd even look at him and you would nearly die when your hands would brush against each other in passing. There was just something about him. Maybe it was how he didn't believe in stupid questions, except for JJ's of course, or how he would learn a new subject just to be able to help one of you ace an exam. It could be how the sun sparkled against his wet skin after a long day of swimming or surfing. How relaxed he looks sitting in the driver's seat of the HMS Pogue taking in all that the sun had to offer. You were glad the rest of the crew hadn't caught on yet, especially JB since he's already taken the role as your big brother, even though you're sure that you’re definitely older than him. He would never let you hear the end of it if he knew. The constant pestering, nudging, and side-eyeing would have driven you insane. Your mind slowly drifted back to the boy studying a few feet away from you. The thoughts of those hot summer nights in the cool water with him clouded your brain, so much so you nearly wiped out.

"You good!?" Pope's concerned voice made your head snap in his direction. You knew that the embarrassment on your face was very telling but you just shot him two thumbs up and got back on your board. You shake off any remaining thoughts from your head before attempting your new trick. You were sick and tired of random strangers, but mostly JJ and JB, yelling at you to do a kickflip whenever you were skating. After watching countless videos on kickflips you were basically an expert on them at this point and all you had to do now was actually stick the landing. You slid your right foot to the middle of the board so that your heel was just off the edge while your toes rested in the middle. You shifted your left foot to the tail of the deck and with all the strength you could muster you push down on the tail while your right foot flicked down on the edge of the board. It would have been a spectacular landing if it weren't for the random-ass pebble that your wheel landed on.

"Oh fuck, are you alright!?" Pope was by your side before you even realized you were on the ground. Falling came with the game and you were not fazed at all, since you've had grislier wipeouts than this, but that's before you saw the fountain of blood that poured out of your knee.

"Yeah, I'm fine dude-- I've had-- I need to--The bathroom--" you hobbled quickly into the bathroom at the chateau trying your darndest to not get any blood in the house. By the time you were able to sit down on the toilet, you were seeing stars. Your vision was slowly fading to black and you felt like you were going to vomit. You closed your eyes tightly as you pressed a clump of toilet paper to your knee, which pulled a hiss right from your lungs at the sensation. Promptly, you bit down on your bottom lip to keep yourself from letting out a scream. A light knock came from the door and it couldn't be anyone else but Pope.

"Are you alright in there y/n?" From all the pain you were in you could only hum out a yes as a response, but you knew that would not be a good enough answer for the boy.

"Yeah, just don't--" before you could even finish your sentence he barged in "--open the door, why don't ya". His eyes grew wide at the bloody mess you made in the bathroom, but then quickly softened at the sight of you. Your skin was flushed with developing perspiration clinging to your skin and your lips had gone pale as your lungs suddenly only knew how to hyperventilate.

"Uh, I don’t think it would be in your best interest to say that it looks like a slasher flick was filmed in here" his words made you squeeze your eyes tighter as bloody images flashed before you and it only got harder for you to breathe. Pope stepped inside the rather small bathroom and closed the door behind him. He picked up all the toilet paper you had used for your leg and tossed them into the trash bin before he crouched down next to you.

"Does it still hurt?" His voice was quiet, barely above a whisper, as if you would shatter if he spoke any louder. All you could muster was a tiny nod as the pain took up most of your energy. His hands then gently pried your hands off of your injured knee and inspected it. Since the cut had almost stopped bleeding completely, Pope, was able to see that the wound was deep but not enough for it to garner any stitches and it was free of any debris. Lucky for you because JB had fallen there a couple of weeks ago and Pope had to whip out the tweezers to get all the gravel out of the bloody gash.

"Hey, it's not that bad-- I mean it is bad but it could be worse-- I'm gonna clean it now" the boy got to his feet and helped you sit on the edge of the bathtub with your feet sitting inside the tub. He then washed his hands furiously to avoid infection and gathered all the supplies he needed which consisted of antibacterial soap, antibiotic cream, gauze pads, gauze rolls, and unconditional love and support. Pope helped you undo both your shoes and removed them along with your embarrassing Winnie the Pooh socks. He sat with his legs outside the tub to have easy access to the supplies. After he checked to make sure the water wasn't too hot or too cold Pope moved your leg so your knee was underneath the faucet. The wound's contact with the water wasn't as bad as you thought, but it could’ve been you were distracted by his soothing touches as he held you close to him. Pope was careful not to get any of the soap in the cut just on the surrounding area and when he was finished he made sure to clean the rest of your blood-caked leg up as well. Once you were all cleaned up, he padded your leg dry before he attempted to put ointment on the tender flesh.

"Is it going to hurt?" You squeaked as he retrieved the ointment from the countertop.

"It might sting, but it shouldn't, '' he reassured you, as he brought the ointment-covered q-tip to your knee, but you couldn't help that your knee-jerked away from his touch.

"Ow, fuck!"

"Y/n, I haven't even touched you yet"

"I know, I know, sorry"

"I promise it won't hurt, y/n, and if it does you can punch me or something" even if it did hurt that bad you couldn’t imagine hurting Pope in any way. He once again leaned back in with the q-tip and sure enough, it wasn't painful at all. The ointment soothed the burning sensation of the area which finally allowed you to relax. He then carefully put a gauze pad on the injury, before wrapping your knee securely with gauze. You slid off the edge of the grimy porcelain tub and onto the ground while Pope stood next to the sink and neatly tucked everything back into the first aid kit.

"Uh, thanks--" your words got lost in your throat when your eyes met his warm eyes "--um, dude?" You felt stupid when it came out as a dumbfounded question and the heat quickly rose to your cheeks. If it was any time for you to die you wish it would have happened right then.

"Yeah, any time, y/n" he shot an endearing smile in your direction and you've never wanted to kiss a man so much before in your life.

You both let the awkwardness settle over you. The two of you riddled with hesitancy, but quietly yearned to confess your feelings to one another. He needed to get out of there. Pope gave you a curt nod and a tight smile, but as he headed towards the door there was vacillation in his movements. Before you lost sight of him from the doorway, he turned back around determined.

"Y/N, I gotta--" you were soon on your feet as the last bit of courage you had for your lifetime allowed you to meet him halfway. He didn't bother finishing his sentence as he decided his actions would speak for him. Pope cupped your face in his soft hands and crashed your lips together. The kiss was sweet, sweeter than anything you've ever experienced before. His plump lips gilded confidently over your timid ones. As the fire inside of you diminished your shyness you shifted yourself forward onto your tippy toes to deepen the kiss. Your movements caused you to pin Pope against the bathroom wall and you could feel him smile against your lips. His velvet tongue dragged against your bottom lip for permission to explore you further and you were more than eager to let him.

"Fucking finally!" The familiar voice of the rowdy klepto caught you guys by surprise causing both of you to jump away from each other.

"I guess I'm forty bucks richer, I knew you had it in ya, Pope!" JJ beamed as he walked towards the two of you and you playfully rolled your eyes at the blonde-haired boy.

"Fuck off!" Pope giggled and slammed the door in JJ's face before he turned to face you.

"Now, where were we?"

[obsidiangst]

Update - 10/29/21

All my future updates are going to be under a cut because there's been a few gnarlier things going on so, medical jibber jabber, reproductive health, and descriptions of surgical wounds below.

Update - 10/29/21

It's been a while so I figured I'd give another update, it's been 3 weeks since my surgery and I am fairly mobile and walking around the house and preparing my own simple meals. I can't bend over still, but my incision is mostly closed about 55% except for the bottom where it was opened up and a few inches on the top where it's scabbed instead of skin to skin. The scabs seem to be holding everything together though so I'm not worried about them opening up or anything.

I have my post op follow up on Monday afternoon, I'm glad that this is almost over and I'm thinking about letting my teachers know that I can start to work on my class materials again. I'm somewhat worried about being able to catch up, but I'm also trying to not stress about it because of it being an extraordinary circumstance and my teachers generally seem to be understanding.

I will update again in a few days after my post-op appointment.

Update - 10/20/21

I got my staples removed on the 18th, which was good, but there's a little complication with the bottom part of my incision. The top half closed beautifully, the lower half did not. It's healthy and clean, just- open. So instead of being able to be up and about a bit more I'm still stuck resting for two more weeks minimum before I can start being up more. On the bright side I can use my laptop so I should be able to start getting some things done again!

My cyst was 100% benign, but they were able to determine that I have the very early stages of endometriosis. At least I'll know for the future so no doctors can try to bullshit me if I say I'm in pain. Ugh, I'm feeling really all over the place emotionally about all of this because with that cyst being so large it was probably throwing my hormones all out of whack so my body is going to have to find a new normal which means I get to have hella mood swings until that happens lmfao. I cried like five times yesterday over the stupidest bullshit and I'm lowkey dreading these next few weeks.

Update - 10/10/21

I've been in the hospital for the past few days for monitoring and I've been doing really well, I'm actually going to be going home today, so I'm excited about that! I'm not allowed to drive or lift over 10 pounds for 6 weeks, so I should be fully recovered by the end of November. I'm really glad everything is going so well and thank everyone whose sent me well wishes, I appreciate them a lot!

Update - 10/8/21

I've had my surgery and my cust has been removed. It weighed 22 pounds and my incision is about a foot long, but there's no cancer so that is a win! I'll be in the hospital for a few days before going home to finish the recovery. Thank you gusy for the well wishes, I'm doing pretty okay!

Hiatus - 10/7/21

I'm not sure how many people are going to be wondering where/if I have new content coming out, so I'm making this to pin to my page: On 10/3/21 I went to the ER with severe abdominal pain and they discovered I have a massive ovarian cyst and I'm having to have major surgery (on 10/8/21) to have it removed. For the time being I'm unsure how long I will be out of commission, so Whumptober and my fics are going on hiatus.

I will try to keep this post updated as events occur, but I will be in recovery for at minimum a month. My queue is still running so posts should still come as they normally would, but I will not be checking tumblr as much as I usually do. If you want to contact me directly, my DMs are open and it's probably the fastest way to get my attention.

[ggreactionsandscenarios]

Hi! I'm new to your blog but I really love your writings! This might be long but, can I ask for popular school girl SuA with shy and timid reader that always sketches SuA on her sketchbook but then she loses it and finds out that SuA found her sketchbook?

Sua x Reader

Sketchbook

As usual she was slowly appearing on the paper, your pencil drawing her features in a systematic way. Your lines were fast but clear, you knew you didn't have that much time before she'll change her posture.

Few steps in front of you was your eternal muse Kim Bora, or rather Queen Sua as you liked to call her.

She was the popular girl of your highschool, known for her strong temper and legendary beauty. She wasn't the typical mean cheerleader but wasn't a sweet and innocent girl either. Her and her friends seemed to be nice people from what you knew, not that you would knew if they weren't anyway. You were too much of an introvert and an excessively shy person to even dare meet their eyes.

At the time her head turned in the opposite direction, you were already ready to start a new sketch, your pencil pretty much never leaving the paper of your sketchbook.

A sketchbook that was filled with Sua's face, smile and body in general. There weren't really anything else drawn in there, your only source of inspiration being her. Her face would be plastered at every corner of every page of this book by the time the school year would end.

It didn't matter though, you were the only person seeing it and it would forever be that way. So you kept doing it, you kept drawing her over and over again like a maniac. Every class you had together was an opportunity to captured her beauty once again.

Friday was the best for that, Sua at a perfect distance, a two hours boring class that didn't make her move the slightest and a perfect natural light coming from the window.

Sadly this class always seems to end prematurely, never letting you the time to just contemplate the features that you spent so much time and energy copying. The instant your pencil touched your pencil case fabric, the bell rang.

You sighed, disappointed with your performance, still unable to purely enjoy the view. Next time you thought as you grabbed your bag and exited the classroom, Bora had already leave so you didn't have any good reason to stay any longer.

As usual once home you grabbed a snack and went right into your room, you had enough interactions with people for a week. Your shyness making you uncomfortable even by just staying in the same room as other people, even though you knew nobody was forcing you to talk to any of them.

As you got your homework out of your bag determined to finish them as fast as possible, you noticed that for once your sketchbook wasn't on top of the other books as it usually was. Something wasn't right, it was always on top because it was the last thing you packed everytime.

Maybe it fell inside your backpack you tried to convince yourself as you emptied your bag carefully. Putting out your books one by one, you started to understand that you wouldn't find it there.

You didn't remember putting it in after the end of the class or rather you knew you didn't. You've left your sketchbook filled with drawings of your crush on a desk in a classroom. You were now sure that at least one person other than you would see it too, you were just praying for them to be a teacher.

It was the best thing that could happen, well rather the least embarrassing, a teacher wouldn't go around and spread rumours about a nobody liking the Queen Bee, when it would be the first thing a teenager would do.

Plus if it's the teacher of your class who found it, it was even better because even though his subject was super boring he on the other hand was super kind and wouldn't even try to make a joke about it.

You probably should have decided to wait until monday to get it back but seeing that it was only 5pm and knowing your school was closing at six, you decided to try your luck.

Running all the way back to school was really making you want to die but it was for your own good at the end. Arrived in front of the gate you lost all hope, it was already closed.

You cursed, you were out of breath and sweaty for nothing. God, you hated yourself for this mistake now. You closed your eyes, hands on your thighs trying to breath correctly again when a voice echoed.

"You'll never be a great athlete but at least you tried I guess. I mean, I would have tried too if I were you. Forgetting your precious sketchbook full of me, seriously shame on you."

You didn't have a lot of occasions to hear Sua's voice, yet you knew it was her immediately as she opened her mouth. You eyes were ready to pop out of their orbits seeing her this close and directly talking to you for the first time.

She was still looking inside the book, observing page after page carefully. Saying you were embarrassed would be an understatement. If you could become a rock right now you would.

"You sure are talented, no need to try to be an athlete you're way better at drawing there's no doubt."

You didn't even know it was a good thing or not, your heart telling you that your ultimate crush just complimented your drawing skills and your brain reminding you the number of drawing of her that were in this sketchbook. She would surely think you're creepy once realizing that there was nothing but her in there.

Feeling your intense gaze Bora looked back at you making you panick.

"You seem really embarrassed about what you drew, should I be offended ?"

You tried to talk but your throat was as dry as a desert, you were only able to shake your head, your voice suddenly inaudible.

A smirk made its way on Sua's face, seeing you in this state was pleasing her, that's why she decided to force your voice out by getting closer.

"If you're not even able to deny it I'm surely going to be offended and you might never see your sketchbook again. So is it embarrassing to draw me ?"

"No no it's not like that, I just don't want you to think I'm a psycho."

"If it can reassure you while you were training for the Olympics I had the time to get a look at every single pages in that book and never have I thought that you were anything but cute."

"Oh thanks God I was worried you might be scared of me..wait what did you just say ??"

Seeing the way your now red cheeks Sua let out a chuckle before answering.

"I think your cute, especially when you're shy actually, those blush suit you well."

"I..I..."

You didn't even know what to answer, you never expected something like to happen. Only your dreams allowed you to live that kind of fantasy but now that the fantasy became real you couldn't do much except blush even more.

Of course Sua didn't stop yet, she needed to add something that would forever change your life.

"So .. would you go on a date with me ? I...I hope I didn't misread the signs but I kind of understand that you were into me at least as much as I'm into you, you just are way more talented than I am."

As she said those words Bora hand you a notebook, you didn't understand what it meamt at first. But once you red what was inside you understand that while you were busy drawing her, Sua was occupied writing songs about you.

Maybe forgetting that sketchbook was for the best.

Hi, welcome to this blog then and thank you 🤗 Here is your request hope you'll like it. Give feedback. 💕 -Ael

[lewyn-martell]

do we know the date of logan’s birthday and if yes where has it been mentioned? also i hope we will get a date for kendall’s birthday but if not, when do you think it is (roughly)?

The only way (I think) I know Logan's birthday is because I googled it and got 14th of October 1938. I just assumed it was mentioned at some point and I forgot or it was sneakily written somewhere and someone paused it to see. I tried to quick watch some episodes like 1.01, 1.02, 1.03 and 2.08 to find it, but I couldn't... So I decided to check if other people had more to say about it because the source is that Succession wiki – and you know how that can be a complete mess – so it's not very reliable even though I don't know why someone would just make up a date like that, which I still don't disregard completely. Anyway, what I found out complicates the timeline even more.

There is speculation done here that in S01E03 there is a screen (when the stocks or whatever are going down) that show the date as not even 2018, but Oct 23rd 2017 😶

Along with the fact that Logan's birthday was a work day, the 14th date sounds, even if only maaaybe plausible (it would be a Saturday), a little too early (if I can read this correctly, it's a 3 day range, I don't know if the reaction would actually come in this late. Someone mentions the urgency to announce that night before the market opens the next day: that in 2017 would be a Sunday, and in 2018 would be a Monday, but with the 14th on a Sunday in which Kendall is conducting business as usual. In any case, the 23rd is more than a whole week after).

All my craziness aside, my main concern with this is the year, though. Because Shiv is at the near end of a poticial campaign and that stuff happens on even years doesn't it?? What's even weirder is another comment that points out that a tabloid in 2.07 says Logan is 81, when, if we consider the most likely timeline, not even a year is passed and we're currently around July or early August of 2019, if it indeed began on late 2018.

I'm willing to bet that, from a in-universe perspective it's just typical tabloids getting ages wrong and the doylist explanation being that the timeline is not being completely watched over, as it's common on tv shows. Especially considering how no one involved, including Jesse Armstrong, tried to begin the answer of the Covid question with "we're not even in 2020 yet" (or, I don't know, they wanted to keep it simple).

About your other question, though, I don't know how much time will pass from now until Kendall's birthday some episodes ahead... Are we actually in 2020 and will we see the aftermath of the elections so soon? (That would actually make me go crazy to try and gauge where exactly we lost so many months) Italy looks pretty hot on the screen, is it even like that year round? (no idea). So far, it doesn't seem and it doesn't feel like Succession does many – and large – time jumps, so how much time can we cover in 2 episodes? Unless it was glossed over in earlier seasons (at least we have the certainty that it all starts in October), his birthday might be more securely placed before Logan's so it seems to be somewhere between August and very early October.

I'm still determined to do a rewatch where I take screenshots of every possible date alusion to correct, if needed, but most likely just find more inconsistencies. I'm still set on things happening Oct 2018 - July 2019 so far.

[artificialqueens]

Do you know what I'm seeing? (Trixya) - Pichitinha

A/N: ok hello guys! i am back after a few months of silence and i’ve a… humorous fit for you, maybe? it’s told through violet’s poverties to changes things a bit, i do hope you’ll like it! if you’re interested my tumblr is @pichitinha and this fit can be found in AO3.

Summary: So Violet’s always aware of anything that’s happening in school, always knows when a rule is about to be created or when a student will have their parents called in or when a teacher is in trouble. Nothing escapes Violet’s radar. Needless to say, then, she’s extremely affronted when Mrs. Zamo is introduced to them on a Wednesday afternoon as the new gymnastics instructor and takes everyone by surprise. - Or the one where Violet does not like not knowing things.

Violet Chachki is not one for gossip - or so she’d say to everyone, as she gossips. She thinks it’s important that as a select group of teachers at a high prestige school they all keep informed about what’s been going on with the faculty. Any slips could cause issues for their reputation - it has before - and Violet likes earning more money than she should because the school is fancy and has lots of friendly parents, as she likes to call them.

So Violet’s always aware of anything that’s happening in school, always knows when a rule is about to be created or when a student will have their parents called in or when a teacher is in trouble. Nothing escapes Violet’s radar.

Needless to say, then, she’s extremely affronted when Mrs. Zamo is introduced to them on a Wednesday afternoon as the new gymnastics instructor and takes everyone by surprise.

She’s a short caucasian woman with light blonde hair that falls in straight locks but curves a little bit at the end, framing her face in a really flattering way that highlights her sharp cheekbones and the bright red lipstick she’s wearing. She’s lean and has an amazing posture, but that’s the least that Violet would expect from a gymnastics teacher.

Violet’s wary.

She doesn’t like the mysterious vibe the woman gives off, doesn’t understand why no one knew she was coming to work there until the exact moment she walked into the door. Something’s up and Violet can smell it.

The last person to join the team before Mrs. Zamo had been Mrs. Mattel, the music teacher. That had been a proper hiring at the beginning of the school year and she had started work on a Monday morning like one should and Violet had been aware of her coming two weeks prior, enough time for her to manage gathering a few facts about her from the school director: that she’d been a music teacher before, had a theatre degree from a fancy school and that she was married but had no children.

Albeit not a lot to know about a person, but more than she currently does about Zamo which is really pissing her off.

She tunes back to reality when she realizes that the Dean Mrs. Charles is walking towards her with Mrs. Zamo close behind. “Oh, and Miss Chachki- Violet! This is Katya, Katya this is Violet.” She introduces them briefly, but leaves no time for them to shake hands or properly meet. “Violet, please give Katya a tour? Show her how the three main rooms she’ll be using for her classes work, please. Alyssa is late again and I can’t afford to wait.” And with that she leaves, doesn’t say goodbye or even acknowledge them, but raises her head in a dignified way that’s supposed to leave them impressed - and usually they make fun of.

“Katya, is it? Weird name.”

People tend to tell Violet she can be rude sometimes, what they don’t know is that it’s on purpose.

Katya smiles though, doesn’t seem to mind. “Yeah, it’s Russian.”

“Are you Russian?!” That’s the type of thing Violet should have already known!She’s entirely too uncomfortable at the moment, knowing as much about the woman as she does about her.

“Born and raised. Until the age of five, that is.” She laughs a little at that but Violet just blinks. “Then I moved to Boston, as you can probably tell.”

She does have a Bostonian accent and she seems pretty keen on sharing details of her life, so maybe Violet won’t have such a hard time - Trixie, for example, is a problem, Violet’s barely learned anything about her in the two months she’s been working there.

“Well, Katya from Russia, follow me.”

Violet really hopes she manages to learn more about the new teacher as she gives her a tour. She is, after all, the informal information resource of the faculty.

*

“Have you met her yet? She’s super weird,” Violet tells Fame as they’re walking into the teacher’s lounge after the morning classes. “Morning, Trixie.” She greets nonchalantly and sits down at the nearest table, far from where Trixie’s eating at the other side of the room - right under the air-conditioning which is why Violet avoids it at all times.

“Morning,” Trixie greets back, eyebrows a little raised but Violet brings her attention back to Fame. Reading Trixie is too hard and Violet’s given up not long after she first started trying.

“No, I just saw her in the morning when Mrs. Charles was introducing her. She looks nice though,” Fame replies as she sits down next to Violet, nods quickly at Trixie as well.

“I mean, I guess.” She does look nice, but Violet is more interested in whether or not she’ll act nice at school. “And she’s really pretty,” she adds because it’s true and because as bad as it is the board prouds themselves on the appearance of the faculty.

Trixie sits up straighter and Violet sees it from the corner of her eyes but ignores it. Truth be told she finds Trixie a bit weird.

“She’s married though,” Fame reminds Violet as if that’s what Violet was going for.

“Aren’t they all?” she jokes back, knows Fame knows her better than that.

Trixie’s fork clatters on the table. “Sorry!” she exclaims when both of them look at her.

Fame looks back to Violet and then raises her eyebrows, “Wait, you are engaged, actually.”

Violet scoffs, now annoyed. “I’m not because-” she looks around and when she does so Trixie averts her gaze, previously clearly paying attention to them. She lowers her voice just in case, “I’m not because Pearl’s a fucking chicken, I’ve seen her take the damn ring box to our dates three times and she never asks!”

Violet is not in any hurry to get married, but if Pearl is going to ask then she could just ask already, pretending not to know is killing her.

“Did you know chickens are actually really brave?” Fame asks instead of offering any advice on Violet’s relationship. She has that look on her face she gets when she’s talking about something she finds exciting and Violet sighs even if she smiles a bit.

Fame is also a bit weird.

“I do - in fact I know way more about chickens than I ever thought I would or find necessary. Thank you for that.”

“Well-” Fame is interrupted midway when the door opens and in come Katya and Alyssa, now finally together, as it is common in the school that the dance and the gymnastics teachers follow each other’s class plan. Katya looks comfortable already, maybe a bit tired, but that’s just what spending time with Alyssa does.

“Hey, girls! Any seat for me?” Alyssa asks loudly already pulling up the last chair on their small table and sitting down by Violet’s side. Katya just stands there, food in hand, her gaze moving from their table with no extra seats to Trixie, who is sitting by herself and has two spots available.

“Do you want to sit here?” Trixie eventually asks, offers her a warm smile, and Katya smiles right back before nodding to them and moving over there.

Something is… off. Katya seems like a very extroverted and friendly person, it doesn’t really fit with that image to want to sit alone with the quiet girl on the other side of the room instead of sitting with the majority of the girls. And yet she goes with a smile and seems happy about it. She sits down in the chair nearest to Trixie as opposed to the one in front of her and they soon start talking.

Violet doesn’t think she’s ever seen Trixie chat so freely with anyone who isn’t Kim - and Kim had been her friend before she joined the team, she recommended her to the position. Between everyone else she’s probably closest to Bob, but she didn’t warm up to her this fast.

What is going on?

“Maybe we should all sit together,” she says out loud and Trixie and Katya look at her. “We all want to get to know Katya and it wouldn’t hurt to know a bit more about Trixie, right?”

Katya and Trixie exchange a brief look that Violet can’t decipher from where she is, but she’s determined to learn more and she won’t back down.

“Yeah, come on, let’s move to the bigger table,” Alyssa decides for them, loud and decisive as usual. They all join her at the communal table in the middle of the room, Katya and Trixie still side by side, opposite Violet and Fame.

Perfect. Now Violet just needs to figure what and how to ask things that will give her the most information.

“So, Katya-” she directs her gaze at her and Katya just raises her eyebrows. People usually shy away from Violet’s scrutinizing gaze, but not her. It feels like a challenge, almost. “Are you married?”

Katya just raises her left hand and wriggles her fingers, showcasing the wedding band. “Yep.”

Usually when she asks that people say a little bit more than yes or no. She asked Trixie when she started working there and she’d said yes, about two years now. She waits for Katya to elaborate or say anything else but she just starts eating again.

“Has it been long?” Violet tries to never seem like she’s prying, the questions have to be perfectly crafted so that she can receive more than what she’s asking and so it doesn’t look like she was too curious.

Especially because it isn’t curiosity. It’s caution.

“We’ve been together for several years, yes.” That’s not what Violet asked, but it is a piece of information nonetheless. “How about you? Married?”

It takes Violet by surprise, people don’t usually ask her stuff back. Trixie coughs by Katya’s side.

“I- no. Not married.”

“Weren’t you engaged?” Alyssa asks then and they all look at her with raised eyebrows, even Fame who’d just asked this.

How is she the center of this, now? “Uh, nope. Just dating.”

“And you, Fame? Married?” Katya asks shifting her attention before Violet has a chance to think of what else to ask and Violet is not sure how but she completely lost control of the conversation. Suddenly Fame is talking about her wife and her dogs and then Alyssa is talking about the last date she went on and Katya hasn’t said anything else about herself - and neither has Trixie, for that matter.

They do chime in in whatever everyone else is saying and the good side of it all is that they don’t bat an eye at Fame having a wife instead of a husband - not homophobic, or at least not blatantly so, - but Violet doesn’t find a breach to ask anything about them that wouldn’t make her look nosy so she just accepts it. It’s not a wasted lunch because she finds them funny and pleasant and Katya fits right in with the rest of them, but still she hasn’t learned enough.

She’s gonna have to keep trying.

*

Thing is, Violet does what she does because she cares. They’d had not one but two incidents in the past regarding personal scandals on the faculty and they’d lost several of the important parents’ donations in both. One had been an affair between a teacher and a (married) parent, the other had been an affair between two (married) teachers which would have been less bad except they later learned that the two were also stealing money from the school.

Violet has been working there for years - she studied at one of the siblings schools, prides herself on the place more than she cares to admit. Yes, it is a bit posh and considerably overpriced, but they do the best they can with the children, teach them the most, give them attention, affection, discipline. There are five schools in the group in a range of three cities and maybe Violet didn’t study at that particular one because it’s new, but she was there when it opened, had been one of their first hirings and she’s so proud of herself for it. She wants this school to be the best. She wants to give to those children what she felt as a kid - her teachers were much more than that, and that’s what she wants to be.

So when she pries on the new staff, it’s for their own protection. People who are too secretive usually have something to hide and it churns Violet’s stomach to imagine that. What could they be hiding? A murder? Maybe that’s a stretch but Violet can’t absolutely say they aren’t.

Plus all the nagging usually leads to them all being friends and that’s a good thing. Making friends as an adult is hard, so when you get along with your colleagues enough that it migrates to that - that’s lucky, right? Fame is easily one of her closest friends and that had happened by Violet asking so much about her life that one day they just were good friends.

Violet spends the entirety of Katya’s first week there observing and trying to steal quick conversations here and there so that it doesn’t look like much. She doesn’t learn a lot, but she gathers a few facts - most of them a lot less useful than expected.

Katya wears a silver wedding band because it turns out she’s allergic to gold - which, by the way, is a very rare allergy.

Katya does speak Russian fluently but she’s actually much better in French - which she used to teach before deciding that she liked teaching gymnastics more and switched completely.

Katya does not have any kids and doesn’t know if she ever will, she has a niece and a nephew and she’s content with them.

That’s pretty much all she’s actually said about herself, other than comments on books she’s read or movies she’s watched.

Violet learns a few things by observation, though.

Katya most likely used to smoke and quit recently because sometimes her fingers itch just like Pearl’s did when she quit.

Katya really likes coffee.

Katya gets to school on foot.

Obviously the last one is the one that nags at Violet’s mind. Katya arrives at school ten minutes before the first class every day and she always does so walking. She’s always well dressed and wearing heels and Violet could even be willing to accept that she might take the bus because “it’s better for the environment” or whatever some people would say, except she always walks in from the left side of the school and the only bus stop near them is on the right side.

When Violet asks Katya if she lives nearby, Katya denies.

Violet doesn’t like this. She likes Katya, she’s a fun new addition and all the teachers seem to find her funny and pleasant, but once Violet realizes the walking thing… there’s just no logical explanation to it and it’s not like walking in heels to school from not nearby means she’s a serial killer, but it means something.

“Good morning,” Violet greets everyone when she enters the teacher’s lounge the following Monday and they all say it back in their own time. To her surprise Katya is already there, even though it’s still twenty minutes until the first bell. That’s a change of events and Violet is even more curious now.

Katya is sitting with Bob and Trixie and the three seem very engrossed in the conversation. She grabs a cup of coffee and joins them without a second thought.

“Good morning, ladies. What are we discussing?” She finds that bluntness usually works well with her personality and people tend to find it charming.

“How the three of us hate the California weather.” Trixie replies and Violet is delighted by that. Trixie is still someone Violet needs to learn a lot about and she seems to be more present recently so Violet is eager to do that too.

“Where are you guys from, again?”

“Wisconsin-”

“Boston!”

“Good old New York City.”

They reply all at once.

“Oh, right. You guys probably like snow.” She wrinkles her nose, she hates the cold weather. But if they do hate California then that’s just another thing to add to her list - why do they live there?

“Where are you from, Violet?” Trixie asks genuinely interested.

“Atlanta.”

“Oof,” they all exclaim.

She laughs. “Hey, it’s a great place okay!” Or at least twelve-year-old Violet thought so before they moved to LA where she’s been living ever since.

Bob laughs, “If you say so, girl.”

For the remaining of their time before class they just discuss their childhood and Violet doesn’t ask anymore important questions about the girls - not Bob, she’s known her for two years and she’s solid.

She forgets to ask why Katya got there so early.

*

Katya is there early every day after that and Violet almost forgets her suspicions, except now she’s already there when Violet arrives so she doesn’t know if she’s still walking. When she recounts this to Pearl one night after work, Pearl tells her that she’s crazy and should stop worrying so much about other people’s lives - sometimes they’re just private and that’s okay.

When Violet tries to argue, Pearl asks how many people at work know that the person she’s dating is a woman. She claims that it’s different, she has no obligation to come out, and Pearl just points out that she’s right and maybe the teachers that won’t share much just feel the same way about whatever it is they’re not telling.

Violet hates that she’s right.

That Friday instead of leaving early as she often does since she doesn’t have the last class, Violet decides to stay and finish some grading in the teacher’s lounge where it’ll be empty and quiet and she can probably finish it faster. She doesn’t really notice when the last bell rings, so absorbed into the paper she’s reading, and she’s surprised when the door opens and in come Trixie and Katya, laughing loudly at each other. They stop in their tracks when they notice Violet inside, laughter dying down awkwardly as they move to their lockers. Violet can see that Trixie has a faint blush on her cheeks and it’s definitely not her makeup.

Huh.

“Hey, Vi,” Trixie calls out as she picks up her stuff. “Working late today?”

“Yeah…” she replies, eyebrows raised. “Had to catch up on a few assignments and since I don’t have this class I just figured it was the best time to do so.”

“Right,” Trixie agrees, clearly uncomfortable. Just then Kim and Bob walk in and greet them and Trixie takes the cue to wish them a good weekend before leaving, Katya not far behind with similar words.

Violet isn’t saying there’s something there.

But there’s something there.

“Don’t you think Trixie is a little weird?” she asks out loud once Trixie has left.

Kim just stares at her for a second before going back to her locker. “I think Trixie is very weird, but also you know she’s my best friend, so I’m allowed to think that, you aren’t.”

This could have turned into a very unpleasant situation, but thankfully Bob laughs and the vibe in the room follows hers.

“She’s just private, you need to get through the shell,” Bob provides as she once again searches her entire closet for something which is most likely not in it. She does this every time.

“I’ve been trying!” And she has, Violet only stopped snooping on Bob six months after she joined, there’s still a long way for Trixie before Violet can fully trust her.

“Not like you’re a PI!” Bob laughs. “Just talk to her like you talk to us.”

Violet scrunches her eyebrows. A PI? Really? “What?”

“Most of the time you’re fine, but sometimes it seems like you’re interrogating people,” Kim tries to explain.

“Sometimes it’s not even that bad, but it definitely feels like an interview at least,” Bob says.

“Yeah,” Kim agrees. “And people like Trixie don’t really like that. I know you worry about the school, but I promise you, Trixie is cool and a good person. Don’t worry so much and try to get to know her. If you got past Max then you can get past anyone.”

Violet chuckles. “God, you’re right, Max was a work of her own.” Max was a shell within a box within a locked chest and Violet managed to get to know her before she moved to the east coast. So yeah, no one can be harder.

“Anyway, I’m not interested in overtime today. Have a good weekend!” Kim says as she leaves and Violet just stays in there as every teacher comes back and exits with a goodbye.

Maybe she should try to worry less - problem is it’s easier said than done.

*

Violet would love not to worry because she trusts Kim and if Kim vouches for Trixie, fine. But no one is vouching for Katya and she and Trixie seem to get along way too well, which is extremely surprising to Violet - how did Katya manage to get close to her so fast and also how did Trixie out of all of them manage to be the first to befriend Katya?

Violet starts to notice how they seem to always exchange words when they bump into each other in the hall, and almost always sit together during lunch, even though usually not by themselves. It’s been a few weeks since Katya arrived and they already act closer than Trixie and Kim and that’s something that puts Violet on alert again.

Sure, she’s managed to learn more about them in the time that’s passed, even if she can’t possibly ask everything she wants - she knows where the caution ends and her own curiosity starts and she never crosses the line. Getting to know your colleagues happens slowly but surely either way, and so far she’s listened to Trixie play guitar and learned that Katya lived in Europe for a while, for example.

They’re all adjusting as a group, even having gone out together for drinks one day. There Violet couldn’t help but notice how Trixie was opening up more and more recently, which is somewhat suspicious, and mainly she noticed that Katya knew what drinks Trixie likes and vice-versa.

She would love to let it go but there’s just something that doesn’t add up.

On the following Wednesday she spends most of her lunch time paying attention to them to see if anything can be learned by observation. At some point someone asks her something and she gets distracted and when she looks up again she can’t find them. Probably back to class early to set things up.

She finishes her food and excuses herself with a few minutes to spare before the bell rings and she has to go to her next class, goes quickly to the bathroom to use the loo and check herself in the mirror one more time before the rest of the day.

When she opens the door the scare on the two people inside is almost palpable. Katya is leaning her back on the sink and Trixie is close to her, her right hand on Katya’s face, her thumb brushing over her upper lip where Violet can see her lipstick is a bit smeared. Their faces are turned towards her, eyes wide like deer caught in headlights, and Violet’s brain can’t come up with an explanation for that on the spot, but it feels like she should.

For seconds none of them move, but then as soon as she takes another step inside the two of them break further apart with Trixie taking a step back.

“Yeah, you were right, this lipstick will definitely need makeup remover to be fixed.” Trixie says with a concentrated face. “Maybe I have makeup wipes in my purse, I’ll go check.” And with that she’s gone, Katya still leaning on the sink and looking at Violet. She blinks twice.

“Uh…” Violet murmurs because she’s not sure what to say. What just happened?

“Forgot I had this stupid lipstick on and cleaned my mouth with my hand. It smeared a bit but now it won’t come off.”

“Oh. Well, I definitely have makeup wipes if Trixie doesn’t have them,” she offers because it’s true and because that’s happened to her many times before, which is precisely why she carries wipes. It could make sense, if not for the way they’d been positioned and how surprised they looked when they saw her, but Violet just feels too stunned to properly deduce things.

“Oh, thanks! She probably has them, but if not I’ll let you know.”

“Okay.” How would she know Trixie has them?

“Okay.”

Violet uses the loo and leaves before Trixie is back, Katya still inside waiting, acting nonchalantly.

This is starting to become too suspicious.

*

Violet tells Pearl about the encounter but Pearl just brushes her off saying that Violet is probably just reading too much into it because she convinced herself that something’s up. That could be true so Violet promises that she will let it go once she figures out if Katya still walks to work from the left side of the street and if so why. That’s the one piece of mystery she wants to solve before giving up, and Pearl thinks she’s crazy but still suggests she get there early the following day anyway just so she can get this out of the way.

Violet arrives way earlier than usual and takes a seat in the teacher’s lounge right by the window above the parking lot. She’s getting ahead on some tests she has to prepare, but she keeps glancing outside as her eyes catch movement and she spots Bob’s car as the first one to arrive.

It doesn’t take long for Trixie’s car to find its way into the space and Violet is almost turning back to her computer when she sees both the driver and the passenger door opening when she parks. Out of the passenger seat comes Katya, and together they both walk towards the building, it looks like they’re laughing.

Oh my god.

Is Violet an idiot? How did she not connect the dots?

Are they having an affair?

No, no, no, no, no, this is the worst possible scenario, the school cannot handle another affair scandal, especially a lesbian one - if Violet has any chance of ever coming out at work this will ruin it, straight people tend to associate the behavior of one bad gay with all of them and this can’t happen. Fame is all of the outed quota they have and that’s because she’d been clear about being married to a woman before she was hired - but with this Violet isn’t sure even Fame wouldn’t see some consequences.

But it’s so obvious now that Violet thinks about it that she feels stupid for not noticing before. The lipstick thing in the bathroom? They were probably kissing right in there where anyone could catch them. Not only are they cheating on their husbands and breaking the school policies, but they’re being dumb about it.

And that explains how they know each other’s coffee style, their drink preference, why they seem to always be together, why Trixie started opening up after Katya joined.

They had hugged very intimately before leaving the bar the other night. Thinking now Violet can’t remember if she ever saw them leaving - did they leave together?

They are jeopardizing Violet’s future here and she will not stand for it.

The two of them enter the room with a cheerful good morning and Violet is the only one that doesn’t reply, but they don’t notice, each heading to their locker to store their purses.

Violet is so mad she can’t even fake a happy face. She forces her eyes away from them and stares at Kim’s back from where she’s sat - she said she could trust Trixie, that she was a good person. Well, Violet is gonna enjoy breaking the news to her.

Alyssa asks her if she’s fine once she notices how Violet is burning holes into the walls, but Violet plays it off as a striking headache. It works because the news spread fast and no one bothers her that day, not even her students who can see she’s in a bad mood and don’t want to be in the line of fire.

Violet has to be smart about this. She needs to have evidence, she can’t just barge into the Dean’s office and tell her that it’s happening without proof.

She needs to catch them in the act. If she’s lucky they’ll continue to be irresponsible and that will happen sooner rather than later.

*

“So, Fame.” Violet does her best so that most girls are sat together for lunch the following day. “Have you ever been cheated on?” Out of the corner of her eyes she observes Trixie and Katya, but they give no reaction at all at the mention of cheating. Violet thought they’d be worse at this.

Fame however reacts properly and just stares at her, eyebrows high on her forehead. “Excuse me?”

“Cheated on? Has someone ever cheated on you?”

Everyone is paying attention now, Violet knows she sounds very blunt, but she doesn’t care.

“Uh, no? At least not that I know of?”

“Cool,” she replies. “And have you ever cheated?”

“What? Of course not.”

“Hm. Anyone has ever been cheated on?” she addresses the table.

Katya seems worried. “Violet, is everything okay in your relationship?”

Violet is outraged at this. She has the audacity to ask Violet about herrelationship. She even looks genuinely worried and for a moment Violet is reminded that she really liked Katya and instead of anger, for a split second, she’s just disappointed. She expected more from her.

She’s back to anger in no time though when Trixie, right by her side, raises her eyebrows in worry as well.

Violet trusted them. Unbelievable. They are putting the jobs of everyone at the table at risk and they act as if everything is fine.

Not on Violet’s watch.

“Everything is wonderful in my relationship, Katya, thank you for asking.”

She just shares a glance with Trixie which just makes Violet fume more. “Okay-”

“How about you, though? Everything fine in yours? Have you ever been cheated on? Or have you ever cheated?”

“Uh…” she seems stunned but to be fair so does everyone else. Now they all look worried about Violet - she’s always composed and assertive, this frenzy is very unlike her. “Yes. I mean, yes, everything is fine, we’re doing great. And no, I don’t think anyone’s ever cheated on me, and I’ve never cheated on anyone.”

Violet actually chuckles because she can’t believe her straight face. “Right,” she comments as she goes back to her food.

“What does that mean?” Katya asks back and Violet doesn’t miss the way her voice is changed. By her side Trixie looks utterly confused.

“Nothing,” Violet replies, almost biting her own tongue. She can’t make a scene without proof, she needs to wait. She’s too stressed about this and isn’t acting properly.

“No, that didn’t sound like nothing.”

“Maybe we shouldn’t do this now-” Bob starts suggesting, but now Katya isn’t having it. She looks offended and Violet wants to know where she learned to act so well.

“No, I’m sorry, Violet was clearly implying something and I want to know what, because I’m not comfortable with this.”

Violet shrugs. “I didn’t mean anything, I just thought it was curious.”

“What was curious exactly?”

Violet really doesn’t want to do this now, but she realizes she’s made the situation and the blood in her veins is too hot to leave it be now.

She can’t outright accuse them, though, that would get her fired.

“I don’t know. Would have figured otherwise.” She keeps it vague - not completely, she does imply that Katya was lying somewhere in there and they all would look back, but she doesn’t outright say I know you’re screwing Trixie. She does give Trixie a quick side glance which she knows they both noticed.

Katya gets the closest to mad that Violet thinks she can. “You don’t know me, Violet.”

“Clearly not.”

Katya moves suddenly, Violet sees the motion as if she’s gonna push away from the table and leave, but Trixie holds her arm.

“I think you’re crossing some boundaries here, Violet.” Trixie says, her hand still resting on Katya’s arm who looks like she’d like to yell a bit. Trixie still looks more confused than anything else.

“Yeah, I’m the one crossing boundaries.”

“Okay, that’s enough,” Bob gets up and her height over them casts a sense of authority hard to argue with. “Katya, maybe you should get some fresh air. Violet-”

“I’ll stay here and finish my lunch, thank you.” Violet cuts her off.

There’s tension for a moment, but then Katya gets up and Trixie does so too, right after her, both heading for the exit.

“Off they go,” Violet murmurs and no one says anything, but Kim makes a face and just stares at her for more seconds than it should feel comfortable.

Maybe Violet will have to take the issue to the Dean without proof afterall.

*

Violet muses about it for the rest of her classes. She’s certain of one thing only: the parents of this school will definitely not have it if word of a lesbian affair between two married teachers came out and she knows it could have consequences for the school in general and for the staff - she thinks that maybe Fame would be the first one to feel it, knows some nasty parents who’d request for her to be immediately cut together with Trixie and Katya regardless of the fact that she’s got nothing to do with them.

Therefore she knows she must act and she must do it soon, but she also knows the obstacles. For one she really shouldn’t accuse anyone of anything without proof, as the chances are it would backfire and she would be the one taking the blow for it, so she really should think very carefully about how to do it, if at all, with the knowledge she has now. Secondly, Katya had a point earlier at lunch: Violet doesn’t know her - or Trixie. Not a lot, anyway. Who is she to point fingers when she doesn’t know their private lives, what they’ve got with their husbands? Violet doesn’t believe in cheating in any situation, but she can’t judge and she certainly understands some women are in complicated situations - especially if, as it looks like, they have to pretend to be straight for whatever reason.

So Violet doesn’t want to ruin their careers - or their lives, but she doesn’t think she’d have the power anyway - she just wants them far away from her school. She doesn’t want problems, that’s all.

Maybe she should talk to the Dean, then. With them there. Be friendly. It would be a lesser risk for her as well.

She’ll visit the Dean once the last bell rings, depending on her mood she’ll either tell her right then or else ask for a meeting the next day and invite Trixie and Katya. She has no intentions of maintaining the friendship - maybe she shouldn’t judge but she sure as hell doesn’t want friends that will behave like that - but keeping professional appearances is important and she figures it’ll be better if they’re there to speak for themselves. It’s fair, right?

She doesn’t see them in the teacher’s lounge when the last class is dismissed and she also doesn’t miss the looks that the other teachers give her.

“You ok?” Fame asks quietly, away from everyone else.

“Yeah, I was hot headed. I’m gonna handle it now, calmly.”

“Handle what, exactly?” It’s clear Fame doesn’t want to judge but she’s concerned for Violet.

“Don’t worry about it. Gotta go, I want to catch Dean Charles.”

“Violet!” Kim yells when she’s at the door.

“What?”

“Can I talk to you-”

“I need to talk with the Dean before she leaves, can it wait?”

Kim stops then, her eyebrows raise and Violet may be mistaken but it looks like her lips turn up into a small smile.

“Oh. Go ahead then, not urgent.”

Violet is probably crazy but it sounds like Kim is laughing as she closes the door.

She power walks to the Dean’s office, really wants to catch her today and address this as soon as possible - the more she waits the riskier it’ll be for them. She knocks twice and as per convention after a few seconds she opens it and glances inside.

Trixie and Katya are there, in front of the Dean.

“Oh,” is all she manages to say, confused. Are they turning themselves in? Were they caught?

They can’t be trying to say anything bad about her, can they?

“Oh, Miss Chachki. Please come in, I’m glad you’re here.” Dean Charles points to a third chair by Trixie’s side and she walks in silence to sit down. She has no idea what is happening, but they all seem to be way too calm for any scandal to have been brought up.

“Everything okay, Mrs. Charles?” she feels like she has to ask because things can’t be okay, can they? If they’ve come clean that she should not be as composed as she is - they should have been fired.

“Yes, of course.“ She stops for a few seconds, contemplates what to say next. Then she nods her head ever so lightly in a way they usually find snobbish and funny, but Violet doesn’t react. "I’m afraid I told you a small lie at a point and it’s lead to… some issues.”

“I haven’t done anyth-”

“Don’t worry, Violet, you’ve done nothing and you’re not in trouble. I know you like to know about the school affairs and the staff, and that you take care of everyone and that’s very admirable.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“But, you see, there’s one detail you didn’t pick up on and we failed to tell the staff because it’s a situation we haven’t had so far and we weren’t sure how everyone would react.”

“Okay,” she agrees with a questioning tone, not sure what exactly to ask. Why are Trixie and Katya there? What is everyone hiding? Why is Violet not aware of what’s going on- when did she lose her unofficial post of information holder? She looks at Trixie and Katya and they both look way too calm for Violet to be comfortable. “Can I be put in the loop, please?”

“We’re married, Violet,” Trixie says holding her gaze.

“I know.” What are they on about? That is the whole problem.

Katya chuckles. “No, you don’t get it. We are married,” she points between her and Trixie. “To each other.”

If there was a bucket of icy water dropping on top of Violet’s head now she would feel exactly as she feels right now.

What?

“What?!”

“As you know it’s against the rules for two employees to engage in a romantic relationship, but we’ve never had precedents of hiring two people already engaged in it. Katya is extremely qualified and we didn’t want to waste this opportunity, but we thought best to not disclose it. Maybe we should have considered that it would be a hard secret to keep.” Mrs. Charles doesn’t seem to notice that Violet is only half listening, still too stunned by what she heard.

“How can you be married? Don’t you have a husband?” Katya’s talked about him a few times - vaguely, but surely.

“I definitely don’t.” Katya says amusedly, eyebrows raised as if the thought is wild and funny. Violet would find it relatable if she weren’t where she is now, confused. “I’m quite sure I never used anything other than “my partner” or “they” when speaking about Trixie as my spouse.”

It’s true, she has. Violet thought it weird at first but reminded herself that not everyone is gay and she shouldn’t just assume everyone she meets was.

“But, Tom…”

“What about him?” Trixie asks now, equally confused.

“I thought Tom was your husband?”

They both laugh but try to stop it quickly.

“Tom is our cat,” Trixie explains trying to maintain a straight face. Then she turns to Katya, “Oh my god, what did you say about Tom that could possibly apply to a cat and a human?”

“I have no idea!”

“She said Tom was waiting for her to have dinner,” Violet explains and against everything she thinks she is, she starts to blush.

They are married. To each other. For one, they aren’t cheaters. And most importantly, they’re gay.

And she assumed the worst and was ready to try and get them fired.

“Very well. Now that things are settled, I must be off. I’ll hold a meeting tomorrow and we’ll tell the rest of the staff so we avoid further issues.”

As they leave Mrs. Charles’ room and stand in the hallway watching her leave, Violet searches for the right word. She’s not usually wrong and she doesn’t care for it.

“I- I don’t know what to say, I’m so sorry. I thought you were having an affair - I thought you were straight, oh my god.”

“I do find the latter much more offensive,” Katya jokes and Violet laughs. “Not that there’s anything wrong with that, of course.” Katya adds as a second thought, her expression changes.

“Oh! I suppose not, though I wouldn’t know. I have a girlfriend.”

“This is the gayest school in the district, then?”

She smiles. “Apparently.”

They stand there for several seconds, almost a perfect triangle, feelings rather awkward - or at least Violet is, for sure.

“Well-” Katya starts as she shifts her weight from one foot to the other, possible eager to leave. This is too quick for Violet to properly understand how she feels, but she knows she’s far from where she was that morning.

“I gotta say I’m really relieved. I like you guys, I was worried.”

“We’re glad.” Trixie smiles and then she offers her hand to Katya who takes it without a thought.

Now with clear eyes and knowing the situation, Violet takes a second to look at the image. They’re cute. They look happy.

“See you tomorrow?” Katya says as they start walking.

“See you.” She waves them off.

They walk away laughing, hand in hand, and it dawns on Violet that now she has more reinforcement and allies in the school.

She can’t wait to tell Pearl - although she’s not excited to let her know she was right all along.

*

When Kim greets her the next day, she realizes that she likely already knew. Kim is Trixie’s best friend, has known her for years. She was probably at their wedding.

"You were gonna let me play the fool, huh?” she whispers in lieu of hello, sitting by her side at the table so they’ll be private.

Kim just smirks. “I was gonna tell you, but I knew they were in the Dean’s office. Thought it would be more fun to let you go in there and sort it out.”

“I hate you,” she jokes and Kim just shrugs. “You knew all along.”

“I did. It wasn’t my secret to tell, though.”

Violet admires her loyalty and she thinks she would have done the same in Kim’s place.

“You even knew Katya was gonna start teaching here beforehand, didn’t you? You probably know her patronymic name!”

Kim smiles into her cup of coffee. “I do and it’s hideous. Not telling you, though.”

She huffs as she grabs a cup of coffee, wondering how things are gonna go today, when the door opens and in walk Katya and Trixie.

Their hands are intertwined.

At first she thinks no one is going to notice as they really aren’t paying attention, but then Alyssa stops talking in the middle of her sentence and everyone turns to where she’s looking.

“Oh,” some of them murmur, gasp even.

Violet smirks into her cup. She’s back to knowing more than everyone. She loves this feeling.

“Everyone,” Mrs. Charles calls from the door and everyone sort of gets up quickly as if they should, even though she could not look more uninterested if she tried. “They are married, the school board knows, you should not worry about it being against the rules as it is not.” She announces without caution, doesn’t even step inside. “I hope no one has any issues?” She’s asking but as usual doesn’t leave time for actual responses. “Great. If anyone’s missing, please let them know.”

And with that she’s off, Katya and Trixie standing between the door and the tables they’re all sitting around, all eyes on them.

Violet has to admit that was super awkward and seemingly unnecessary, if not for the fact that people would assume it to be against the rules.

“That makes a whole lot of sense actually-”

“Should’ve seen it coming-”

“Wait, who are they?”

Violet can hear all the comments as the two of them approach their table, visibly looking much more relaxed than usual. Violet figures they must have had a weight on their shoulders every day with that secret and she can’t imagine how good they must be feeling now.

“Good morning,”

“Morning,” Kim says. “Did Violet make an idiot of herself yesterday?”

Violet puffs. “I did not, thank you very much.”

And just as Kim opens her mouth to proceed, the rest of the girls approach them.

Fame has her arms open and she pulls Trixie under one and Katya under the other. “Oh my god, I am so happy about this, you guys.”

Everyone who was out of the loop starts talking and asking questions and Violet just sits back and watches it unfold. She’s happy too, as it turns out. They are good people and they look like they make a good pair.

“Don’t think I don’t see that new ring on your finger,” Kim murmurs to her while people are still focused on Trixie and Katya.

Violet smiles widely and looks down to her left hand. Pearl had been so ecstatic by the turn of events that she’d finally proposed last night.

“I’ll announce it later, I don’t wanna steal the spotlight.”

“That’s a first,” Kim chuckles.

The rest of the day unfolds much like any other, everyone getting used to the idea of them being together really quick, and maybe Violet could consider admitting that there’s more to people than we sometimes assume. She’d been so scared of a scandal just twenty-four hours ago and now everything is just normal as it is every day.

As Trixie and Katya are leaving, now apparently always holding hands, they bid her goodbye.

“Congrats on the engagement!” Katya yells from the other side of the corridor. “Being gay married is amazing, you’re gonna love it!”

Trixie just waves and Violet smiles looking down to her hand again.

If the examples she has are anything to go by, she has no doubt she will.

[angstmatsuscenarios]

(I'm not one to comment anywhere since I'm a lil shy but here goes ╥﹏╥) : Choro is the new kid in a new school and gets bullied for being a nerd and for liking anime (typical tbh) until one day a s/o confronts the bullies and helps poor Choro ;w;

Ahh thank you for sending such a great request! Poor Choro baby…hopefully you enjoy this! Warning for bullying under the cut:

Choromatsu hadn’t wanted to go to a different school as his brothers. He hadn’t expected to, either, until the results of his high school placement test came in. Choromatsu had done significantly better than his brothers, and as a result had gotten into a different school as they had.

At first, he’d been thrilled, thinking all his hard work had been worthwhile. He was finally being recognized for his intelligence! If he got into a good high school now, he could get into a great college later! But the more he thought about it, the more it sunk in: he was going to be all alone at this new school, without his brothers or even any of his friends at his side. And his new school was farther from home, too—his brothers could walk to their school, but he’d have to take the bus downtown. A long, lonely bus ride every morning, which also meant having to get up earlier than his brothers too.

He tried to convince himself everything was going to be fine, that this was a great opportunity and he should be more enthusiastic about it. He was still telling himself this as he boarded the bus on his first day of school, and rode into town all on his own.

I put in a lot of hard work to achieve this, after all, he told himself. I should be happy I can reach my goals like this. And maybe this is a chance to meet new people. That’ll be good for me, won’t it?

He was partially right, at least. He did meet new people—but not the way he was hoping to.

When he stopped at his locker to put away his things, the lock got stuck, and he had to struggle for several minutes to get it open. He could hear a student next to him snicker.

“Having some trouble there, nerd?” he remarked, smirking in a way that made Choromatsu feel bad inside.

“Um, a little…I can deal with it,” Choromatsu mumbled, blushing hard. He didn’t know how to respond to such a direct attack.

“You know, that’s the locker they give to all the weak geeks around here…so I guess that’s you from now on!” The student cackled meanly, slamming his own locker shut before waltzing away.

Choromatsu swallowed hard and bit the inside of his cheek, finally managing to open his locker door. What was that about…? I’ve only been here a few minutes and I’m already being picked on…I hope the rest of the day goes better.

It didn’t.

In homeroom, a student snickered and mockingly pointed out Choromatsu’s favorite anime keychain, which was clipped to his bag. They called him a nerdy otaku over that, and pretty soon everyone in the classroom was laughing at him. He sank down as far as he could in his seat, his cheeks burning.

At lunch, he’d tripped and fallen, spilling his food on the floor and prompting more laughter from everyone. Choromatsu had no choice but to slink shamefully back to his desk. He didn’t have anything to eat that day, but it didn’t matter. His stomach was too twisted up in knots for him to be hungry.

By the time school was finally out for the day, Choromatsu breathed a huge sigh of relief as he rushed to leave as fast as he could. At least he could go home for the day and forget about this nightmare.

Maybe I just had a bad first day, he thought, with optimism he didn’t feel. Maybe tomorrow will be better…

But it wasn’t. And neither was the day after that. For the whole week, Choromatsu was teased and tormented by his classmates. They picked on him over his anime merchandise, for his glasses, for stuttering when he was called on unexpectedly in class. One student grabbed his keychain and played catch with it with their friends, and Choromatsu tried desperately to get it back but failed. At lunchtime, he couldn’t stand eating in the classroom with everyone else, so he hid out in the library and pretended to study. A few times, he couldn’t take the bullying anymore, and holed up in a bathroom stall while he cried quietly to himself.

This was the worst. It seemed like everyone hated him for no reason, and he had no one there to back him up. Not his brothers, or his friends. He couldn’t even bring himself to tell his family what was going on, because he didn’t want them to feel bad for him or suggest he transfer schools. Not that he didn’t want to do that, it was that he would feel guilty and a little ashamed after all his hard work for him to get here. But it all left him feeling miserable, and he dreaded each day back at that horrible place.

The weekend was a nice reprieve, but when Monday rolled around it was his worst day yet. Someone had planted a chewed-up piece of gum on his desk chair without him realizing, so he sat right on it and wound up with sticky gum all over his school uniform. Another student spilled water on his math homework (“accidentally,” they claimed—as if), and Choromatsu had to explain to the teacher that he’d need to redo his homework, which didn’t go over well. He didn’t even want to eat lunch that day—instead he stayed in the bathroom the whole time, crying and trying to tell himself to calm down.

I don’t want to be at this terrible school anymore…I thought I could handle it, but this is too much for me. I want to leave…I need to. I hope no one will be disappointed in me…

He wished he could stay in there for the rest of the day, but unfortunately he knew he’d have to exit eventually. It was probably better he do that now, rather than try to waste away the entire school day here. Reluctantly, he opened the door to his stall and stepped out, relieved no one else was there at the moment. He washed his hands slowly, dawdling as long as he could, before finally working up the nerve to walk back out into the hallway.

“Look, it’s the otaku nerd!”

The second he was out Choromatsu heard someone behind him shout out that nickname in the nastiest, most taunting voice ever. The remark was met with uproarious laughter from other students nearby. He felt like he’d been punched in the stomach.

Just ignore him. Keep walking.

He resolved to do that, and took a determined step forward. But before he could advance too far someone off to the side of the hall stuck out his leg, causing Choromatsu to trip. He stumbled, flailing desperately to regain his balance, but ended up landing on the floor with his books scattered around him.

“Whoops! Sorry, little nerd, did I do that?” The student cackled menacingly.

Choromatsu slowly pushed himself up to his knees, keeping his eyes on the floor on all his scattered papers and books, trying to tune out the mean laughter that surrounded him. His eyes stung with tears, his chest heaving with repressed sobs.

I hate it here. I hate it here so much. Please, I just want out…

“Hey! What do you all think you’re doing?”

A sudden voice, one Choromatsu didn’t recognize, reverberated so loudly through the hallway it made everyone go immediately silent. Choromatsu brushed his tears away and lifted his head in the direction of the voice, almost fearful of what was coming next.

To his surprise, a student he hadn’t seen before was marching down the hallway toward him, shooting daggerlike glares at everyone they passed on their way over.

“Seriously, what is wrong with you people?” the student demanded, shooting them another sharp, accusatory look. “Just because some new student comes in wearing glasses who likes anime, you all descend on him like he’s your prey! No one is your prey!”

“We were just having some fun!” a female student retorted with an annoyed huff.

“Well, there are plenty of things you can do for fun that don’t involve harassing students for stupid reasons,” the student asserted, now standing right next to Choromatsu with their arms crossed over their chest. “So why don’t you all just go away and get a life already?”

The students were grumbling in irritation, sending them glares as they stalked off. No one seemed all that willing to quit, but at least they begrudgingly did so.

The student let out a sigh, then turned to Choromatsu with concern in their eyes. “I’m sorry, are you okay?” they asked, kneeling down next to him and starting to gather his books. “Here, let me help you.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind,” Choromatsu responded, a little caught off guard by what had happened. “Um…did you really just…defend me to the whole school?”

“Well, someone has to do it.” The student smiled, and Choromatsu noticed with a flush to his cheeks how cute they looked. “Stick up for the underdogs, you know? They picked on me when I first started here, too. Eventually they move on.”

“Why would they pick on you?” Choromatsu asked, as they stood up and the student handed over his books. “Oh, I mean, if you don’t mind telling me…it’s just you seem so take-charge that I can’t imagine anything getting to you…and they all obeyed you, so…I think I’ll just shut up now.” Why was this person leaving him so flustered and tongue-tied? He could feel his blushing intensify.

The student laughed good-naturedly. “It’s okay. Like I said, they move on over time, but they made fun of me a lot for some of the same reasons they did you. Especially the anime part.”

“You like anime?” Choromatsu asked. “Wow…”

“Oh yeah! I have a lot of favorite series…oh, sorry, I’m getting off track.” The student shook their head slightly. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“I’m fine…just a bruised ego, I guess.” Choromatsu tried to laugh it off, too, though it was harder for him.

“Well, if you ever need anything, just let me know, okay? I’m happy to help.” The student beamed, sending an arrow stabbing through Choromatsu’s heart. There was just something about this person…he couldn’t pinpoint what exactly, but it made Choromatsu feel warm and fuzzy inside.

This isn’t…a crush, is it…?

“Th-thank you,” he sputtered awkwardly, and then hated himself for it. Ugh, try to sound a little cool at least.

“You’re welcome! I need to head to class now, but hopefully I’ll bump into you again soon. Maybe we can hang out later!” The student waved as they darted down the hall toward their class.

Choromatsu waved limply back, just a little lovestruck. It didn’t occur to him until he was heading back to his classroom, bracing himself for another torrent of insults, that he realized he’d never gotten the student’s name.

Crap! I hope we really do bump into each other again soon, then I’ll find out what it is. It’d make a huge difference, actually having a friend at this school…

He smiled just a little, for the first time since school started. He still wasn’t sure he wanted to stay here for good, or if everyone else would gang up on him and start teasing him again…but maybe there was at least one reason to keep giving it a try.

[weekly-goal-achiever]

Scary, it seems that most times I have no WINS to report.

7th January 2022

So it's Friday. Let me check my wins or misses for this week. Though it hasn't actually been a full 7 days yet, I'd like to use the days Monday to Friday as my core period to get things done. And by Friday I can see if I have achieved or will achieve my week's goals, or I can determine if I may have to carry forward some things over to the following week.

With the facial video, I'll do over a full shooting. I wanted to make up my mind yesterday, but I suppose it was only this morning that I was done deciding. This wasn't a matter that I had to sleep over, I just though that doing over the film was the better decision. I really do hope it works out this time, and I can move on.

I did my uploading to Redbubble and posting to Pinterest in the night again! I didn't schedule it the calendar until I was going to start it. This was almost 9.30pm. But I managed to complete both task in around 1 hour's time. I am glad for this. What made me move faster was the fact that the designs were already done on a previous day, so I just had to upload and do some adjusting on the products' mockups. And with Pinterest I did a little editing on a previous pin, and uploaded it.

Yesterday I said that I would go get my water botte after I finished writing my journal, and you know what - I didn't do what I said I would do. Unfortunately this is a common trend with me. I did manage to finally go fill the water botte and drink some water (but this was over 6 or 7 hours later and it was already late in the night). I didn't even drink at least 1 liter, not sure if I could have done so before the end of the day (I use midnight to mark the end of the day).

I'll summarize my weeks' main tasks/intentions and achievements below:

1) Facial Video Editing - On Hold (to redo filming due to video flaw)

2) Creating and Uploading at least 1 design to Redbubble daily - Goal Achieved

3) Posing at least 1 pin on Pinterest daily - Goal Achieved

4) Drinking 1-2 liters of water daily - Target not yet reached

I've seen posts online where people would ask - 'What are your wins for the week?' - Meaning what have you achieved that week? When I see this question, most times I can't think of any main accomplishments, or at least noting immediately comes to mind. I realize with this journal, I can see what are my hits and misses for my target goals for each week. And if I am wondering what have I achieved, I can look back at these notes.

These are some issues below I need to work on:

1 - What I have noticed about myself is that when I am doing or working on something, like if I'm creating my designs on the computer for example, I would stray off. I might find myself pausing to click and open other websites, or going to check messages and other things. Sometimes I even forget what I had started to do in the first place. I might even walk away and go to work on something else. Then, at a later time I would come back to continue where I left off, or may return to the task when I remember. So, I need to work on staying focused. If you are the kind of person who can remain focused on your tasks and not get caught up with distractions, I am so happy for you!

2- Next, my scheduling is all over the place. There is no specific time to do my tasks. Even with writing this journal. I want to get a common time daily that I can dedicate to working on my goals. Rather than it being sometimes in the mornings, sometimes afternoons or evenings, and sometimes night time. I need to take a good look at my calendar, probably do some 'time mapping' as I call it and see what realistic period during the day I can 'set aside' to work on my plans. And that includes writing this journal.

I'll end here today.

Keep well, Take care,

Peace and Love