#but i'm good i'm ok i'm surrounded by ppl who love me and that helps a tonne

[phoenix-clan]

Still taking a bit of a breather away from working on this blog, but i'm briefly breaking my silence on here to announce that it's my birthday today :) yippee!!!

[hibiscusseaart]

So about Time Travel Tobirama

He gets back in his childhood, the period when Kawarama was already dead, but Itama still alive, just cuz I like Itama alive and well, ok. (also i love the idea of Itama the weed shinobi by @oh-no-its-bird so)

And he starts to think and strategise smth like "Ok, I need to kill Black Zetsu, but idk where he is. But he should be around Uchihas, so I must come closer. But I cant just go there, we're not in peace, they'd kill me. And I don't exactly know when Black Zetsu is gonna try to manipulate Madara. So I also have to monitor Madara and make sure Izuna doesn't ever dies, to ensure that Madara won't lose his shit".

So, he's really logical and his conclusion was "So the easiest way to monitor the Uchiha clan is to marry an Uchiha." But he can't just marry a random Uchiha, it'd be shitty for politics he is the clan heir after Hashirama after all + it'd be nice way to strengthen peace via marriage. Plus he needs to keep close eye to Madara. So. Marrying Madara it is. Or Izuna. But first of all, Izuna is annoying and second he still needs very carefully look for potential signs of Black Zetsu corruption and it's better to do that when they're in close quarters. So the best case scenario is Madara's hand in marriage.

Killing Madara might be easier, but Hashirama would be sad. Plus I think the ppl who helped him to be sent in the past (coughnaruto who said that) told him smth about that Madara and Hashirama are Indra and Ashura reincarnations and be like "What if daddy Sage gets angry..."

So yeah no killing Madara. Even though he kinda wants to.

And to be clear, he had this plan in the few days he's back in his baby body. He's like 10-12 or whatever, when Hashi starts running to the river to meet Madara. Oh and Itama is safe and sound cuz Tobi said fuck Butsuma and went to safe his baby brother.

So one day Tobirama follows his brother to the river to actually meet Madara before his father decides to fuck everything.

So, Tobirama's the most fucked up honeypot mission officially begun. Tobirama is gonna be like "Ok i need to impress a 12 yo... But I cant just show him a cool jutsu, he might think about me as a rival or whatever... Kids like praise and cool things... Maybe I can tell him that he's cute and find him a cool stick? Should I ask Anija to make a cool stick?"

He meets Madara (without a stick, Hashirama might've suspect smth) and be like "Wow, Anija who would've known you've made such a cute friend" (Tobirama is hard cringing in his head, he's not the best in honeypot missions) and Madara, being about 12 year old, is standing there covered in mud, cuz Hashirama threw him into river or whatever + the little hc that he's kinda ugly when he's in his teens. Like Madara thinks of himself as strong and cool, but not particularly handsome with his wild hair and eye bags.

So Madara is smitten cuz wow pretty boy with red eyes said that He's cute!!!

Tobirama looks at Madara's dopey smile and thinks of the first phase as a success. Now Tobirama starts to spend some time with Hashirama and Madara to monitor their surroundings from their clans, while Itama distracts their father, and also try to win over Madara when he is still an impressionable kid. Plus he starts hinting that they may be Senju and Uchiha and that they should be prepared. But well they're kids who wants to escape all that war and just play with a peer so.

Long story short, Madara be like "So we're gonna make a village and then I'm gonna marry Tobirama!"

Tobi "fuck yes, a bit ahead of the schedule, but sounds good, i'm in"

Hashirama is outraged bc THATS HIS LIL BROTHER!!!

So Tobirama plays hard and makes Madara promise to marry him when they're old enough.

But then well, they're still found out and they still have a fallout cuz of their clans. But Tobirama made them promise to try hard for peace (and marriage), so now they just have to wait til Butsuma dies and Hashirama can become a clan head.

Tobirama tries not to be so efficient at killing Uchihas cuz he will be their family later so he tries to avoid it and just knock out or use some non lethal methods. Hashirama mostly fights Madara and it's almost sparrings at this point. Itama works on his weed empire and learns healing.

Well one day Butsuma dies and Hashirama and Tobirama bully their Elders and rush to try for peace. Tajima (who I think is still alive) is suspicious of all of it and stalls af.

So one day on the battlefield Tobirama says "So, marriage when? You promised asshole", making all the Uchiha and Senju stumble and "HUH?!"

So now many of the Senju and Uchiha now know that Uchiha clan heir apparently proposed to the Senju heir ??? Everyone is confused.

Madara, still crushing hard on Tobirama, catches this opportunity and bullies everyone to allow peace and let him marry Tobirama. Uchiha allow it only cuz everyone knows how crazy Uchihas about loved ones and Madara is the strongest one. They kinda afraid that if they won't allow it, he'd go crazy (he would).

So Madara gets his trophy wife Tobirama, Tobirama gets his safari zone with Uchihas in their natural habitat.

Tobirama is a surprisingly good husband to Madara, cuz with all that Zetsu thing, he's attentive as hell. "Something bothering you, dear husband? Do tell me everything."

At first they think he'd learn things and will tell that all back to Senju, but Tobirama tries to assure them "I don't really care about details. Tell me about how it makes you feel." (he looks for the signs of Zetsu corruption)

So basically Tobirama marries Madara to become his therapist. Madara is very much in love and constantly brags how much his spouse loves him and that he always listens his worries.

Izuna is mad as fuck about all of it btw. He thinks that Tobirama has ulterior motives and hides something. (He's right. ) But Tobirama dutifully plays his part as an attentive spouse and makes plans for bettering Uchiha clan just so that the village won't suffer. He'd probably would prescribe them regular therapy for everyone who awoken Sharingan.

also @fashionredalert write a snippet for this au with madara in the mud! pls check it out!

[frenchfrywrites]

Georg, Sunny D, hiiii, yeehaw partner!! 🤠 And Musty Wail (but not really)

Ok so, I'm not really waiting for you to post something similar, because that seems rude and stress introducing. I would still follow you no matter what you post, so this is more just me rambling about some of your posts I REALLY like. Ahem.

"Pounding the characters so hard the bed breaks" this one I find SO funny, and it's so well written!! Often when I write my hcs I think back thus post and try to make it as well written and funny lol.

"Beel's favorite beverage" I'm not rhat into piss drinking but man. (Picture of horse looking at ocean). You really convinced me. It is soooo hard to find Beel smut in this Fandom, never mind sub!Beel smut, never mind AMAZINGLY WRITTEN SMUT!! I don't even have a piss kink but I would let Beel drink my piss after this.

"Holding their dick when they pee" LISTEN LISTEN TO ME. LOOK ME IN THE EYES. I. DO. NOT. HAVE. A. PISS KINK. (Or if I do I only have like, 10% of a pisskink. A pisskink with a few hard lines)

But....

Listen, this is one of my Weird Kinks that most people wouldn't even *consider* is a kink but. Taking care of a character?? Helping them out with things they don't Need help with, but doing it anyway? Either because they're your little baby or because they're too dumb to it themselves??? Amazing. 10/10. No notes. And this checks off a lot of this boxes. I just want a subby demon who can't get their own dick out of their pants to pee so they need me to do it for them.

"April showers day 6: pissing in public": I'm pretty sure I've come into your inbox and talked about this fic before, but I am doing it again. This is like, the Book of Mormon of piss kink to me, personally. You knocked on my door and showed me this fic and I was like "maybe I CAN indulge in a little piss kink". And now here I am. 3/4 posts on here containing piss kink. You're converted me. Ok but this is absolutely my favorite fic of your and I frequently go back to it. This definitely ticks off my "taking care of kink" and was probably part of the reason I realized that I hard that kink.

Anyway, you have so much cool stuff but I've felt like I've rambled on enough lol.

OHO SO MANY!

And wahhhhhhhhhh!!!! This ask is so sweet !!!!! You've got me rolling around on my bed and giggling and shit!!!

I'm so so so so so happy to hear about the posts you like so much!! Idk if u relate but i find it really easy to forget how my work has affected ppl lmao. Needless to say there's many of your posts that linger in my mind and that i go back to over an over again!! (You have so many good Lucifer fics! And ur hcs.... Devine)

Some of these posts especially surprised me! I'd no idea u liked the bed breaking post of mine! I went back and reread it bc it's sooo old and i was like damn u know what this is kinda silly. What an oldie tho like wow that sent me back hfhsjskajs!

And omg yes on the kink of taking care of people!!!!! Idk that's just so much fun and I'm sure it's glaringly obvious that i love it, but yes yes taking care of ppl to the extreme is so good!!!! (Looks hard at your bathing HCS and sighs dreamily)

Oh! And u should embrace ur piss kink!! 😇💖 Even if u have hard limits surrounding it, liking piss even a little bit is awesome and sexy and so much fun!! And I'm so happy u like so many of my piss fics 🫂💖 sometimes my fics are just so self indulgent that again i forget that other ppl would like them lol

Ahh this ask is just so nice i could cry really really thank u so much 💖 ‼️

[kpophubb]

Hii it's me!

Your Hee anonie~ ☆

I'm back and ready to spam you with love. However, this message won't be any soft hour or imagine :O !

Firstly, seeing your response makes me giggle and my friends actually suspected for like 2 weeks that I actually had a crush on someone. As if law school gives time for that. ANYWAY after much confrontation I told them that it's me reading your response to my asks hehehe

Secondly, soooooooo I am huge reader and I mainly love to read classics, mysteries and legal thrillers (whodunit!!!) And there was book fair in my campus!! 60% off 😲 SO OFC I WENT and I was picking up classics, some textbooks etc. And I passed by romance section. Now I am not a romance reader (I have read a few which I LOVE) anyway but I love looking at what's new or what's currently hot in each genre. And suddenly I get surrounded by like 8 girls who are simultaneously going "NO PLS YOU GOTTA READ THIS ILL GIVE MY FIRST BORN IF YOU DO" "it's so good" "you'll cry" "you jaw will be hanging open" blah blah etc etc and help I didn't even know like 3 of them 😭

Guess which book of them were talking about ??

Coolen Hoover's It Ends With Us. And ngl I am kinda hesitant about romance genre itself but also a little to try books from Katie Roberts, Colleen Hoover, Jenny Han etc. Because I just feel like I will be disappointed and there will be a lot of "oh they're teenagers, they're growing they make stupid mistakes" kinda things idk if I am able to explain it nicely. Just hesitant that I might invest time into a book only to get irritated at tbe actions of the characters. And while I do understand that there won't be any drama if the characters were completely rational and fine, it just gets under my nerves when they make stupid decisions like getting back with someone who cheated on them, parents being useless, doing drugs at parties etc. IK I SOUND LIKE A STUCK UP RN BUT PLS I JUST WANT A BOOK WITH RATIONAL AND NORMAL PEOPLE. anyway point is I was like ??? Is this a cult ??? Anyway I ended up getting the book because well they were like "we'll pay for it !!" And how can I say no to my bestie spending money 🤨🤨 true friendship right there.

And then I OPEN TUMBLR AND SEE COLLEEN HOOVER IN YOUR ACC ?? IS THIS A CULT ?

Also here are the romance books I have read AND really loved :

1. House in the Cerulean Sea (ok not really romance but ?? It's still fluff and has romance and found family)

2. Red, white and Royal Blue

3. The Kiss Quotient

4. The Lovely War

Pls I will FRAME THIS BOOK. MAKE A SHRINE. SO GOOD. help.

Anyway do tell me your thoughts on your fav books if you read !! And hehehe pls 🙏 saw your masterlist 😟 I am stunned 🤐 speechless 🤯 masterpieces 💫 I gotta binge read everything now ig I have no other choice.

ALSO YES THIS IS WHAT I ACTUALLY STARTED WRITING THIS ASk FOR.

Are you up for some angst too? Like I have some angsty thoughts if you want. Ofc with enha AlSo may include some SKZ members idk I am not telling 😚

Anyway stay hydrated !! Byeeeee ♡☆♡☆♡

Also yes I manifest Jake hoon live everytime I send you an ask hehe

Hello and welcome my hee anonie 🥺🫶🏻 (I just saw your ask a while ago and I DASHED to get all my work done so I could sit down and reply nicely to you that’s how much attention you deserve from me and everyone) FIRST AND FOREMOST, HAPPY HEESEUNG DAY!🖤

Aaaaaah I love this kinda gossip!! You don’t even have to come up with imagines all the time trust me I love it sm when ppl fill me up with their random thoughts and what they did throughout the day cause it’s so adorable to me!! You can always go upto someone and send them fanfics, but only ppl who care for u and love u truly will sit down and listen to you rant and find you cute for it! For me you’re like that ♡ and ugh omg!😭 if they suspected that, then that means my asks must have made you SMILE REALLY BIG!🥺 that makes me so flattered and smiley you have no idea xhdndjdndj yaay achievement unlocked!😘 (ikr how do people even date when they’re law or med students but FIRST, how do people even date when they Stan enha istg I can’t find anyone else attractive irl my brain has smh registered jake as my real love lmao anyway)

Now I’ll be real honest with you. I’d give it ends with us a 7.5/10 and not really recommend it for someone like you who’s really busy and looking for a 11/10 experience, without any disappointments. I read the book when I was 16 y/o and I remember finding it so touching and good but when I reread the book again once I turned 18, I realized there are so many things wrong with that book? So many mistakes and messed up situations and most importantly, so many triggering themes with no warnings like- childhood trauma, death of a loved one, abusive parents, rape etc. etc. it’s a real bad buzz if you have any one of these traumas as it might inflict unwanted pain inside your heart for no reason. On the other hand, I’d really suggest you “twisted love.” It’s an adult romance book, it’s for mature adult readers, has twists and smut too, friendships, family and it’s really an ♾️/10 for me. :’) <3 and about your Recs??! I’d definitely check them out baby I’m a big bookaholic!

Aww thank you so so much?🥹 I really like editing pics and videos as a free time hobby and since I didn’t have access to internet for 2 hours I edited all the layouts and pics for my masterlist! Thank u so much for showering my works with love. :’) and pls I love angst? Angst is so so underrated in my opinion. Everywhere is fluff and smut but my fav genre is angst tbh. I have a request to you, in your free time, PLS READ MY FIC “but were you mine?” Part 1 is attached to it read it first it’s a small drabble and I also attached and made a video with the title to double the heartbreak effect lol. It was really personal, the dialogues really reflected the insides of my heart a lot, unrequited love and I go hand in hand and that fic I wrote is the most special and closest to my heart. So I’d be so honoured if you read the 2 series drabble and lmk your thoughts. And, I’ll also be up for your angsty imagines ugh I’ll be waiting!!

You take care too bubs!! Ikr I hope so too jakehoon always come live when we talk? That would be so cool!😭 it’s already so cool that you found my book ask after you bought it, see everything you do brings you back to me tehee <3 🙈 now time for my unnecessary tmis that you didn’t ask for. OKAY SO remember how I told you I wanted to make a collector enha ig account? I FINALLY MADE IT! aah so so happy I’ve always found them so aesthetic I can’t believe I made one for me. 🥹 I’ll be posting reels someday too over there hehe! I also feel very relaxed recently cause I wrote poetry in my journal and decorated it with my feelings so AAAH! Since this got quite long anyway, I’ll end this but let you know first that- YOU ARE LOVED, YOU ARE AMAZING, YOU ARE APPRECIATED, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, BE KIND TO YOURSELF AND I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH! 🤍🤍

[arolesbianism]

Ok y'know what I'm going to be cringe and talk abt my nuggets more even tho I assume no one who follows me knows anything abt lob corp lol

Anyways first up look at my second ever nugget, Loki. He and Juliet are extremely close friends and were close since long before lob corp. The two went to college together and both took great interest in lob corp when it popped up, and he and Juliet are both deeply invested in their work there and fully believe in the cause. Loki primarily works with the information team, with him doing a lot of research work early on, and managing a lot of paperwork and general company information as he continued to work there. He and Juliet still interact fairly often as she is a head of the control team, and while they are very friendly with eachother they still very much use their time together seriously. Loki generally comes across as very grumpy and impatient, and he absolutely hates interacting with most of his coworkers. He values his time greatly, and sees most interactions outside of ones required for his work as a waste of time. He still values his time with Juliet greatly though, and while he will get very pissy when Juliet calls him her baby brother, he does indeed see her as a sister, and she might be the only thing he cares abt more than his work.

Next up is my 3rd nugget, London. He's a depressed middle aged woman man who forced himself to stop caring abt those around him after he was forced to give up his baby daughter in his youth. Nowadays he's mostly just trying to get by, and lob corp happened to pay well. He is generally not well liked by basically everyone, with lower ranking employees seeing him as cold and rude, and higher ranking ones seeing him as lazy and annoying. He is however really good at his job, which tends to catch most ppl off guard at first considering how little he seems to care abt everything. Underneath it all he's mostly just extremely depressed and going through the motions, he's just been balancing on thin margins for years now and has gotten the hang of surviving in a world that has been trying to tear him apart for years.

To continue going in chronological order despite my best instincts next we have my girl Yui. She's one of my less developed ones despite her being an oldie, but I still have some ideas for her. She's spent most of her time in the information team, and for most of time at lob corp she's actually had a much less hands on job and got very used to seeing the suffering around her as statistics and numbers. She eventually began to do more abnormality work and was moved to safety, but even as she came face to face with real death more she would still continue to fall back on seeing these events as numbers, and while she does do her best to try to help ppl where she can, she is generally rly distant and hard to connect to a lot of the time, especially as she tends to play devil's advocate for the higher ups, as trying to see the best in everyone won't come across well when those ppl are putting other ppl through hell every day.

Alright everyone we're back to the guy's I actually care abt cheer and clap for my girl Maxy right now. I've already talked abt her a lil bit, but she's another favorite child even though she's an absolute bastard in game who loves to suck at her job. Maxy is a generally very miserable person, with her feeling trapped in her circumstances and hating the feeling of being apathetic to the constant death surrounding her. When she first started working here however, she did have someone she somewhat cared abt. She had a mentor figure of sorts, a fairly anxious woman around her age, but still one that managed to bring some sense of comfort and guidance as she found her footing. Alas tho, this mentor of hers would end up dying on the job (I didn't feel like resetting the day so rip) and that was the beginning of Maxy's endless spiral. Pretty early on she was moved to safety, and she absolutely fucking hates it there, she hates how useless the department feels, and she hates that she feels more hatred at her stupid boss than she feels anything when her coworkers die. London actually used to work in security, and the two actually worked quite closely together for a long time. They had a very strained relationship however, as Maxy slowly began to start giving a shit abt London over time, a fact that she absolutely hated as she could tell London didn't give a shit abt her. Eventually London was transferred to records, and Maxy was left behind in safety to keep being sad all the time. She does have her terrible terrible girlfriend of course, and while Maxy doesn't feel she deserves Yuri's love, Yuri is also the main reason Maxy pushes forward despite everything, as just seeing Yuri smile makes it all feel worth it to her.

Ok ok last one for now because I need to sleep so say hi Daniel. He's another one that doesn't have a lot going on, he was simply a single dad who wanted a good job to support his adopted teenage daughter. He didn't exactly find that, but he does generally like his job. Now he is a leader in the training department, so it's not exactly like he has to deal with the worst of what this place has to offer, so his general complacency makes some amount of sense. He is also generally pretty good at helping out with morale in newer recruits, and he is generally seen as kind if a bit goofy at times. Most of those who've been around longer aren't as moved by his attempts to keep morale up however, as once you've been around long enough it becomes clear as day he's only made it this far out of pure luck. He can't truly help others get to where he is like he tries to because of that, and while part of him is aware of that, he also knows he can't afford to fully admit that to himself.

[mercityart]

HOW THEY MET YOU.

All art and writing is mine, do not steal. View my art on other socials too. To understand the characters backstories pls view my character design/info charts. https://linktr.ee/Mercitycreeps

Tw: these characters are mentally unwell individuals who don't typically have the means for therapy or medication, they aren't meant to be perfect, and just like so many other ppl they can be toxic and exhibit bad behavior such as self harm, possessiveness and so much more.

TW!!!!! CONTAINS VIOLENCE, SH, SEWERSLIDE, AND POSSIBLY MORE OTHER GRAPHIC CONTENT.

Please read some of the bios in regards to my version of the slenderverse characters to understand a bit more.

-------------------HOW YOU MET---------------------

Toby- Toby had been out for a midnight stroll when he found you. There you were, just this fragile little thing curled up against a tree absolutely drained with tear stains on your cheeks. Typically he'd walk away, ignoring other people; but for some weird reason he just couldn't walk away from you, couldn't resist taking a glance back at you.

You were breathtaking. With a sigh, he decided he'd wait for you to wake, to be certain you were alrighg. He had nothing better to do anyways. Sitting nearby, he placed his hoodie delicately over you to stay warm, it was nearing winter after all, and he didn't really mind the cold, he always seemed to be overheated anyways. While waiting he simply watched you, kinda creepy yes but, he didn't mean to stare. He was just too lost in thought, desperately racking his brain as to why he felt so drawn to you. You are a stranger, as far as he could tell you were relatively normal, untouched by the metaphysical world that surrounded the forest. Speaking of which, why were you here? Why were you crying in the middle of nowhere within a dense, dangerous forest? Who are you? Only once you had begun to stir did he realize how much time had passed; and how many missed calls he had from Tim and Brian... Whoops. That could wait later, you were waking up. He very carefully approaches a oblivious, groggy you, only noticing Toby when his tics had acted out due to being anxious of your concious presence. "Hey hey hey, it's ok. I'm not a threat." He took a few steps back and sits down to your level, hands up in the air; treating you like a scared hurt animal. "Who... Are you...?" Toby chuckled at such a question, giving a lopsided smile. "Toby. I live in these here woods, now my question is, who are you?" He watched as you nervously contemplated giving him, a stranger, information on you, but eventually you seem to relax upon realizing he had been nice enough to provide you protection from the cold. "(Y/N)... (Y/N)(Y/L/N)..." Toby stands up and looks at his phone then the setting sun. "Well, (Y/N)," gently he grasps your hand, helping you up. "It's getting dark so here's your options. You can call someone to pick you up so I know you get home safe, oooor," turning away he walked over to a nearby path, "you can accompany me back to my place and gets some hot cocoa or coffee or even tea in you and we can figure out what to do from there." He smiled warmly at you, his tall, lanky yet muscular figure standing patiently for you to make a decision. Noticing how dark it was getting you quickly move closer to the man, silently deciding to follow him to his place, a place of warmth and sustinance. "Good choice. Hey, we also got pumpkin spiiice~" he chuckled and talks almost in a singing tone.

Tim- Tim loves to go to the café in town. It was a little chilly out but not too hot so he simply wore a jacket and a red flannel with his signature blue jeans and boots. When he entered the café he noticed it was pretty busy that afternoon and, oh, well that's new? There you were, bustling around getting people's orders with a sweet smile on your face, although you seemed exhausted you kept the same hearnest kind-hearted personality for every person. Tim simply couldn't help but smile as he watched you, taking his seat in the corner of the café. Watching the birds on the telephone poles Timothy had lost focus for a moment, but came back to his senses upon you oh so gently brushing his shoulder with your fingertips, so softly done he could have mistaken it for a light draft. "Good afternoon, my name is (y/n), it's lovely to meet you. May I have the pleasure of taking your order?" Oh dear lords, your voice was so- oh how he could simply melt from the sugary sweetness of your words right there and then. Shaking his head lightly he smiles at you, wow, your eyes are gorgeou- no, bad Tim, focus. "Ehem, erm, yeah, sorry. May I please have a coffee?" You giggled at his awkward behavior, him rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment. "Of course, would you like anything in or on that? We have cinnamon, cream, milk, caramel and more." Calming down, Tim decided to take a bit of a risky move on his end but you were just to darling to not at least try. "Could I have something that's as sweet as you darlin?" Tim purposely dragged out his words, allowing his southern drawl to smother his words with that delicious growl of his. Watching you he noticed the apples of your cheeks change his as his words seemed to get stuck right in your heart, causing your words to fail on you before you carefully and slowly, trying to recollect yourself spoke, trying your darndest to not fall for the brown eyed beauty before you. "Ah so you take your coffee black? I commend your taste." Woah. Tim did not see that coming, but he wasn't about to back down now, not after seeing that you have some attitude in you. "Would you like anything with your drink?" Bingo. "Yes actually, could I get a pink frosted donut with sprinkles on top, a banana muffins, oh, and extra number" He instantly gave a sly grin upon seeing the confusion on your face and waits for you to say the line, and you do, you fall for it. "What's your number???" "Well aren't you bold" instantly your face turned as bright as the sun and you covered your face with your little notepad, so extremely embarrassed upon realizing what you just said. You soon hurry away. Sighing, Tim waits for his order patiently, watching as your co-workers lightly harassed you and took glances at him. Yet again he found himself staring out that window, coming back to reality when he notices you carefully place the donut down along with a drink that was definitely not black coffee but a sugary sweet heart attack inducing beverage with just about every sweet thing that could be placed upon it. He smiles up at you, clearly pleased with himself as you walked away. Only after you left did he notice the writing on the drinks receipt. There it was, your number along with the words "pretty slick for a guy with his tag sticking out" he couldn't help but laugh at that, boy does he hope you answer his texts later.

Brian- (takes place during MH) Brian was out really late at night strolling around, trying to watch out for Alex however, in his paranoid state of mind due to going too long without medication he had bumped into someone. Said individual and him had fallen and rolled down a small slope. Groaning he quickly sits up, backing away from the other individual as quick as possible. "Ow... Uh, are you ok?" Brian froze in his spot and stared at this stranger, this wasn't supposed to happen, he's literally in the middle of fucking nowhere, why the fuck is some weirdo walking around at this time of night here??? "Oi. Yo. Earth to stranger in a mask. You good?" His attention snaps back to reality and he simply stares at this person. Huh. That's strange. Why aren't you off put by him? Did you literally just wave your hand in front of his face?? "Fine. Don't speak, that's cool I guess. Geez dude, or dudette, whatever and whoever the fuck you are, you should be more careful. Look, your arms all scratched up now. Here, lemme help." What are you talking about? He's fine. You shouldn't be so nice to him. Why are you helping? You had pushed Brian backwards so his ass hit the ground and turned to grab a first aid kit from your bag. "You know, it'd be great to know the name of the jerk who basically tackled me." You sigh and scooch towards him, taking his wrist in your hand and inspecting the damage the fall created. Brian simply sat there in silence as stiff as a board, unused to human contact like this anymore. He'd been so detached from society these past couple years it's a wonder how he hasn't completely lost it, nevermind survive. "(y/n)" now this got his attention, he tilts his head slightly in question. "That's my name, I'm (y/n)." You both sit in awkward silence whilst you bandaged his wounds, and strangely, Brian wasn't as tense anymore, in fact, he was pretty comfortable. Why is that? "Brian...." You immediately look up at him in surprise, your eyes making contact with where his would be behind the mask. Oh. No. Stop that. Don't look at him like that. That isn't fair. He couldn't look away, your gaze was just so hypnotizing. Brian watched in embarrassed adoration as you smiled at him, a genuine, real, smile. "Well, Brian, care to walk with me?"

Jeff- Welp, this is awkward. You had actually met Jeff outside of a therapist office. Jeff was standing there, anxiously tapping his fingers against his crossed arms. It hates this. He just wanted the damn place to close so xe could get what he needed and get out. He's still under the radar considering people still remember that night. He had no choice but to get therapy. Luckily it had gotten in contact with one willing to try and help him, try and get him back to society, a life of normalcy and justify what happened that night, though unlikely to succeed considering the government stood against xem and play a role in what happened. That stories for a different time however, right then he was waiting. He was extremely jittery but was trying his best to stay as inconspicuous as possible, and then xe saw them. There you were, walking towards the therapist offices doors, you seemed tired. Not just the tired from a lack of sleep however, but tired of life. Jeff felt a pang of sympathy for you, which was not normal for xem. Normally it wouldn't feel a thing in regards to other individuals as he struggles with borderline personality disorder in which causes xem to commonly have little regard for anyone's well being. You apparently had caught him staring, snapping him from thought you two had a sort of stare down, Jeff grew more antsy as the eye contact continued, wishing he'd be called to come in for his appointment. As though reading his thoughts, it's therapist had stepped out the door and towards him. "ah! (Y/n), your appointment isn't until tomorrow, is everything alright?" (Y/n)..? This person's name?? You simply shrugged your shoulders weakly and stared down at the floor, something was clearly not right. You were acting strange and the therapist could tell. "(Y/n)...? What's wr-" suddenly you had collapsed, passed out cold, your skin paler than what it should be. That's when the therapist called for an ambulance, Jeff being Jeff, xe got closer to you. What happened? Jeffery carefully checked your vitals, searching for the cause of such a reaction. Then he realized what was wrong. He knew exactly what to do now that he recognized the issue. Jeffery quickly went to work, trying his hardest to force the medication out of your system. It was taking too long, he thought for certain that you wouldn't make it when finally you had rid of the pills that coated your stomach, shakily gasping for breath in between heaves. It simply rubbed your back in gentle circles, being sure you were ok. 

Liu- Liu has had a pretty uneventful day, he did a few peircings, and a small tattoo fix. He mainly organized his supplies, that is until he heard the door ring, alerting him to a potential client. He peaks around the corner, only seeing one of his co-workers talking to someone but unable to see the other person in front of them. "Alright, I'll tell her you're here for your appointment! Be riiight back". His co-worker turns around and so he himself simply ducks back into his room going back to what he was doing. That is of course until he here's screaming. He, being irritated by the racket goes to investigate of course, only to find another co-worker of his screaming at what seems to be the only client that had came. "Are you fucking kidding me?!!! Seriously?!!! YOU were the one who wanted the Medusa tattoo with the semicolon incorporated??!! I thought I'd get some client who actually struggled with that shit, look at you!! You look like a slut!! You were either asking for it or it didn't fucking happen! I mean, look in the mirror, who'd want to touch your fugly looking ass?!!!" Liu immediately froze and became pissed beyond belief, he could here Sully absolutely begging to take control and choke the bitch but no, Liu wanted to handle this. He silently came up behind his co-worker who was still screaming at the poor client who was about ready to either kill her or have a mental breakdown. Looming over her he grasped her shoulders roughly, "WHAT, did you just say...?" His voice was a deep and gutteral but so silent it could be a whisper, it holding a threat for her to start shit. Equal rights equal fights mother fucker. She froze up and looked up at him nervously, shaking in fear at the absolutely massive man behind her sho was covered in peircings and scars from head to toe. "I uh... I just was..." "Need I remind you that the victim is never to blame....?" She immediately shakes her head. Liu leans down close to her ear and growls, "Good. Now get the fuck out of my shop." Shoving her slightly towards the door she stumbles before immediately taking off as fast as possible. Liu turns to his now ex co-workers station, picking up the intricate stencil of the tattoo she was supposed to do. "This is gorgeous... You still want to get it done toda-" Liu had been turning back around when he finally got a good look at the client, you. You stood there seeming so... Soft-spoken, small, anxious, etc. You seemed so sweet and shy. This was quite a large thigh peice, he was surprised that you were getting it as you really didn't seem to have any other tattoos as far as he could see, and if you did they probably weren't this big and intricate. It would look gorgeous on you though, you already were gorgeous, it was almost silly to put art on someone so beautiful/handsome; in his mind, it's like putting a fake gem on a crystal chandelier. You look up at him and his breath catches in his throat. Your eyes are perfect. "Yes... I... I had planned this tattoo out for over a year. It took me forever to design..." This makes his jaw drop. "You DREW this..?!" "Yeah... I know it's not good or anything but it's special to me." "Nonsense! This is some of the best work I've seen! Tell you what, I'm the shop owner, would you please give me the honor of inking you?" This seems to make you laugh, gods your laugh is so nice. "It would be an honor, I'm (Y/N.)" He shakes your hand, practically engulfing yours with his massive fingers. "Liu.

"Sully- Sully had been doing pretty well these past few years at behaving well, so he, of course decided to hit the club scene for once. He's been good, he deserves it! Upon entering the club he's instantly hit with heavy metal music and bright colorful lights everywhere. People were hitting the dance floor, most of them drunk or high as hell. He wasn't looking to get hammered though, oh no, he was looking to simply have a few drinks, maybe smoke a little and relax. He takes a seat in a side booth that's somewhat secluded, not wanting to get bombarded by drunken dumbasses. It isn't long before someone comes over to ask what he'd like to drink, but it's who comes over that surprises him. It's the person Liu had tattooed the other day. Huh. Never took them for the club scene. "Fancy seeing you here, (y/n) right?" They look up at him and smile. "Oh! Well what a little coincidence! Good to see you." "Kinda." This confuses the darling (y/n). "Eeeh, think of it kinda like DID mixed with conjoined twins in a way, a one of a kind type o thing. A two in one package deal perhaps." He waits for you to question him and/or get freaked out but your reaction surprised him. "I see, well, does this mysterious individual have their own name and pronouns?" Holy shit. Ok. He's interested now. "Sully. And my pronouns are he/him but if you want to use others that doesn't bother me, just no it/it's. You?" "Oh! Thank you for asking I use (y/pronouns)!" Ok, he could work with this. "Well darlin, could I get a screwdriver?" "Ah! Right. Work. Drinks. Sorry about that. Yep, one screwdriver coming right up!" Sully chuckles to himself as he fondly watches you dash to behind the bar to make him his drink. 

Otis- Otis had been out on a nature trail sketching and taking photos in the middle of the afternoon, trying to study the leaves and the bark of the trees, trying to perfect the way the sun bounces off of her surroundings. They love to observe how perspective and light can change a peice completely. Currently he was crouched down sketching by a small stream. Everything was so peaceful and quiet, he felt relaxed. Unbeknownst to him you were on the other side of the stream observing her, so hyperfocused on his art they couldn't notice the change around him, mindlessly drawing, not even realizing they had just drawn the person before her. That is of course until he took a second to look at the almost finished work to do the finishing details. They froze up and glanced up at you. "Ah! I'm sorry to bother you. I just.. I saw you drawing and you were so relaxed I didn't want to interrupt..!" Wait a minute- oh gosh, ok, um, this is different, what's this weird fuzzy feeling in her chest? Why isn't she wanting to be cold towards you? Taking a closer look at you he noticed you were carrying a sketchbook of your own, and it was open on your lap, a mechanical pencil delicately tucked behind your ear and your clothes and hands were stained with different types of art mediums. We're you sketching just now? Otis decides to take a bit of a brave step, especially for them and stands up, walking over to your side of the stream and sat beside you. "It's alright... Thank you for allowing me to work.." He glances towards you, only to come extremely close, face to face. Your eyes... He wanted to draw them. "My name's (y/n). Erm... Sorry if this is a bit of an odd question but... Could I draw you?" You held up your sketchbook to him slightly to emphasize your desire, to which she was actually flattered. No one has ever offered to draw them, regardless of the individuals artistic talents. "Only if I get to see the results..?" "Deal!" And just like that, you had spent the next hour or two, maybe three actually, drawing Otis in all her beauty, he was just too pretty to resist capturing in art. You two exchanged words, telling one another bits of yourselves, you found their name was Otis and he was a professional artist and photographer, he found you were an aspiring artist however were much too shy in regards to your abilities to share your breathtaking work with the world.

Jack(EJ)- well now, this isn't nearly as wholesome as anyone would have hoped for, far from it unfortunately. Jack was going for his nightly rounds, trying his darndest to get some type of organs to eat. He was starving, so much in fact his more demonic, cryptic form was beginning to show through without him willing it. His more animalistic urges coming through, beginning to take control of him as he was just far too hungry. He hadn't been able to eat in over a month. He NEEDED food. And so he went to the closest, and fullest place he could find. The local college dorms. Growling lowly he proceeded to wreak havoc on the students in silence. Normally he'd only take one organ and take his time stitching them up properly however in his state if starvation he took as much as he could and half hazardly stitched them shut, not truly caring if they lived or not, simply feasting upon their organs to his demonic hearts content. As he ate he started to gain control back thankfully and began to take more care in his victims well-being, stitching them carefully shut and storing what he didn't eat for later just in case. Upon the twelfth dorm he was finally feeling more so his normal self thankfully, well, thankfully for him anyways. It was after storing his last victims kidney did he hear the sounds of sirens, and lots of them. Before his victim awoke he dashed into the room a few doors down which held a singular student it seamed. Said student immediately jolting awake upon their door being forced open so hard their locks broke and the hinges bent. Jack lunged forward, his bloody hand engulfing their face before they could scream and held up a finger to his mask, signaling for them to keep shut. He proceeded to smash the window with a rock and back up toward the closet, again signaling for them to be quiet, but this time he added the movement of his scalpel running acrossed his neck, telling them that if they tell anyone he was there he'd kill them before closing the closet door. It was quite snug in the closet, hell, it was a wonder he even fit to begin with, even with contorting his body uncomfortably. Listening carefully Jack could hear the screams of horrified students and staff, paramedics trying to keep his early victims stable and simply taking his later victims to the hospital to be certain they were patched properly and provided pain medication. After

a while he heard loud knocks on the dorms broken door followed by the pigs, oh, excuse me, police barging in, unsympathetic of the trembling student that resides in the room. They instantly began questioning them, though it seemed that the student couldn't talk. There was now another pair of footsteps, a teacher? "(Y/n)... tell the officers. Where did you see him go..?" Jack peered between the crack in the door, observing the student named (y/n) hesitate a bit before pointing towards the shattered window. Everyone was immediately evacuated from the school, a report of a serial killer being put out and the students were placed in the old abandoned dorms that were left behind after the school expanded and renovated. Jack somehow snuck by the officers later on and found his way to said dorms, slowly but surely finding the room he was looking for. There they were. The student who had lied for him. Silently he approached them, inspecting them closely, taking in every little detail. Jack extended a hand towards them, caressing their cheek with his index finger, being extremely careful of his razor sharp talons. Jack left the dorms, back to his home in the forest, though not before leaving a small not with a peice of obsidian atop it for the poor little human to wake up to. He could already tell they'd meet again.For more scenarios and characters pls simply comment or send me it privetly as an ask or message.

To support my content and view the characters design and info chart pls click the link to see my other socials. You can find art and writing most easily ln either insta, Tumblr or Twitter. https://linktr.ee/Mercitycreeps

[dog-teeth]

Hiii please don't answer if this question is too much but I was wondering what your experience as a trans person existing is like? Rn I'm cis passing and low-key making me miserable but the anxiety of how I would b treated in the world is so so so scary so I guess is it hard? Are you treated any different? Especially the non-binary thing bc that's me too <3

haiii as always i write fucken essays so its below the cut lol

well first of all i can only speak to my own experience, which is obvs influenced by the other parts of my life like my location/class/race/sexuality/personality/etc, it difficult/impossible to distill what "being trans" is like without factoring in everything else.

but anyways, i'm extremely lucky to have had the security to come out and be open about my transness since i'm surrounded by really excellent people. when i came out i was 14 and didn't know any other trans people, and it sucked, but i feel like even in just the past 6ish years there's a LOT more visibility for trans people than there was back then, and obvs i was young and had a lot less personal autonomy at the time. but my friends were all really cool about it and my parents were chill as well, and i went to a good high school where my teachers were respectful (i got misgendered by other students but once they were aware of me being trans they usually stopped) so i honestly didn't face that much external difficulty because of my gender.

the period between coming out and medically transitioning was rough a lot of the time tho, just because of the frustration of trying to be seen a certain way and the world never seeing you that way, at times it felt futile to even try and for a long time i really wished i wasn't trans, because being trans had never brought me any joy, so i didn't have pride in it the way i could with my sexuality, as it had only ever caused me pain (whereas my queer sexuality had lead me to love, sex, community, etc). but those were internally-driven feelings, not anything specific in how i was treated except for generally living in a world that didn't see me as myself, but that's also true when ur not out. it took a lot of fighting to be seen, and learning how to make myself happy.

since coming out, though, its been really really amazing. meeting & connecting with other trans people, dating other trans people, helping other people figure out their gender identities by being myself around them, making art about being trans, etc, is very rewarding, and obvs u can do that without being "out" too.

emotionally its very fulfilling, like jesus christ medically transitioning once i was an adult was so fucking awesome. i hadnt realized how much not being visible as my gender to other people was holding me back and distressing me until it stopped. even though i had socially transitioned earlier and been respected by people around me, it wasnt until i went on hrt and had top surgery that i felt really really good about existing as a trans person, when i could exist at any time in any space in any clothes and be seen how i wanted to be seen, and felt like my body was as it should be.

i don't really get treated differently tbh, most people don't readily assume ppl are trans so upon meeting me people just think im a queer guy, and i only bring up being trans when i want to & feel ok doing so. being nonbinary some people are bad about using my pronouns but i honestly dont care much. every once in a while i have to explain gender stuff to people but again i dont mind. its def more annoying than if i was a binary trans person but meh.

there's some annoying/anxiety-inducing stuff like dealing with extended family, doctors appointments, legal documents, and situations where i feel like i have to try to be Stealth, but those are rare compared to my everyday life where i'm genuinely just vibing.

i completely respect trans people who don't want to be out for whatever reason, but personally i've found it to be very rewarding and i can only imagine how miserable i'd be if i couldn't be open about my gender.

tldr; it's hard while you're figuring yourself out, but if the people around you are generally good, it's extremely awesome to be able to be yourself and transition!

[chasseuses]

reasons why i love jade leech pt.2

so i guess I'm doing this again.

this is more of a repeat of everything I said in part one but with more sobbing and coherent words.

Jade Leech, Octavinelle's vice dorm leader and the twin brother of Floyd. Many might say that Jade is better than Floyd, although that may seem true to people who don't know him well enough, some people were smart enough to know that Jade was just as bad.

Despite being so fucking shady and nasty, I couldn't help but slowly learn how to love his character. His shadiness is only a part of his charm ❤️ I mean— don't you want that? Don't you just want to look at him and wonder what the fuck is going through his mind right now?

He could be either plotting murder or thinking about tonight's dinner and I would still find his shady expression 🥺 oddly attractive to say the least. I'm being weirdly serious here and typing in lowercase so in a few bullets, expect me to go feral once again.

His eyes are gorgeous. I don't know about you but I get mesmerized everytime I look at them, I swear I could drown in them and never want air ever again. His mismatched eyes,, absolutely beautiful sir please shock my heart eheheh 👉👈 haha jk !!! he doesn't have to use his unique magic to shock my heart bfjfkfjfkfjkffk

His smile is breathtaking, my sun— my light in this dark world of mine. Even if his smile is practiced and insincere, I can't help but go crazy over it. Imagine if he smiled genuinely, no restraints at all as he let out a hearty laugh and a genuine smile took over his expression. I would cry on the spot, I am cryimyfjrkfjkffk.

GOF HELP ME I CAN'T TYPE IN LOWERCASE ANYMORE IM GOING IN CAPSLOCK!!!

I HATE HOW JADE CAN GO FROM HIS USUAL GENTLEMANLY FACE EXPRESSION BUT SUDDENLY SHOOTS YOU A FUCKING SMUG GRIN WHICH SHOWS OFF HIS SHARP TEETH AND SAYS HIS USUAL "Fufu~" LINE LIKE PLEASE 🗿 SHUT THE FUCK UP DON'T SMILE LIKE THAT!!

SPEAKING OF TEETH, MAN I REALLY AM CURIOUS AS TO HOW SHARP THEY ARE. A PART OF ME WANTS TO SHOVE MY HAND INTO HIS MOUTH AND JUST TOUCH THOSE TEETH AND SEE HOW SHARP THEY ARE 🤡 haha imagine if he suddenly bit down tho hahshhhshsdrijfrknfkrgntknffknflfnflffnkfnfkjfkdjfofjddlifjf ok I'll shut up.

I don't think I mentioned it here (i already did) but I am telling you that the idea of someone as composed and reserved as Jade starts pining, IT'S GUARANTEED TO BE SO FUCKING GOOD LIKE 🗿 OH GOD THE THOUGHT OF JADE PINING?? ABSOLUTELY *CHEFS KISS* MAN THAT IS SOME GOOD SHIT RIGHT THERE IF YOU SEE ANY PINING JADE PLEASE TAG ME I WILL START CRYIMG

Oh my god. Have I told you how beautiful Jade's lips are? Please please please please look at them they look so nice ahahahha so irresistible and kissable UEEEEEEEEEE

The way his lips are like that 🗿his fucking smile/smirk. GOD GIEV EME THE ABILITY TO KITH THIS MAN JUST ONCE PLEASE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH I'M FUCKING CRYING.

Oh my gOD THE WAY HE LOOKS AT MUSHROOMS... THE SOFTEST GAZE... SOMEONE LIKE HE... IS CAPABLE OF HAVING SUCH A SOFT EXPRESSION ON HIS FACE.... PLEASE I WANT TO BE A MUSHROOM IF IT MEANT BEING LOOKED AT BY JADE LIKE THAT.

HE COULD FUCKING SPIT ON ME AND I'D THANK HIM.

I'm ashamed to admit that the earliest reason why I liked Jade Leech was because of his hands. Please forgive me, Lilia-sama. I cannot help but get attracted to such beautiful hands- it was if it was sculpted by the god of sculpting himself! It's such a shame that his gloves cover up its blinding beauty- though my eyes can see through the deceit, I know that his fingers are glorious beneath that piece of cloth. My one and only wish in life is to be able to hold his hand- without the gloves, and that's all for my confession.

^^^^^ I FOUND THAT IN MY DRAFTS

I'M SORRY BUT I JUST REALLY LIKE HIS HANDS OK. LIKE 😳 haha...!! what if we held hands,, without the gloves 😳 haha jk...! unless ...?9£4(_8 UE UE UE UE UE MR. LEECH LET ME HOLD YOUR HAND PLEASE I'M GONNA BEG

UEEEEEEEE I'M NOT FUCKING KIDDING YOU WHEN I SAY I WROTE SO MUCH LETTERS FOR THIS EEL I WISH I WAS KIDDING I HAVE LIKE 12 RIGHT NOW GOD I'M SUCH A FUCKING SIMP

st a rts sobbing

pouting jade.

pouting jade.

pouting jade.

WHAT THE FUCKBSJDJDJJ??£?£(_(3(_((_(£(£+£; WHY IS HE SO CUTE INT HSI SCREENSHOT WHAT THE FUCK I LOVE YOU SO MUCH PLEASE THE WAY YOU'RE POUTING RIGHT NOW IS SO CUTE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE LET ME SQUEEZE YOU.

I'm fucking crying why the fuck is he so cute gof forbid this man from being so fuvking cute i cannot.

People be telling me: cute?? jade is terrifying.

and I go like: that's cute.

UE UE UE EU UEHFHRJFJJDJF HAVE U GUYS HEARD OF WHAT HE DOES TO PEOPLE HE BETRAY HIM???? I LITERALLY WENT 😳 "ahahahh mr leech i will personally betray you just to make you do that to me" you know. like a simp.

U know what I'm going back to lowercase

His extreme love for mushrooms is probably his comic relief so it doesn't completely make him seem like a shady bitch in the game- it's a surprise as to how cute and vulnerable he can get when he talks about or does something related to his precious fungi. It even goes as far as to make him completely lose his sense of surroundings, which is really rare for someone as observant as him- and usually dangerous sjfbjdbf. It's also EXTREMELY CUTE as to how they made Jade someone who really likes mountains- he even goes as far as to found his own club to appreciate them!!

He has pretty deft hands, being able to create a terrarium and care for it as a hobby is applaudable- not everyone has the ability to do just that, you'd have to be able to be extremely precise and careful, and add a little bit of extreme determination to the mix. He would probably smell like mud from all the time he spends in the greenhouse, and stays up late because of creating terrariums. It shows us that he isn't completely a shitty eel who collects dirt on people as his job and I think that's pretty fucking cute not gonna lie!

There was one voice line of him mentioning that he likes gazing at stars, which was completely unexpected for me! He didn't seem like the type to gaze up at the stars and just- watch! Though I expect him to be always alone whenever he does that- he isn't exactly the most approachable person in NRC, people tend to avoid the Leech twins because of Floyd- mostly. People are just scared of them and I don't think Jade has any friends aside from Azul and Floyd. And I don't think either of them would be willing to stay with him to do just that, Floyd's excuse would be because "it's boring~!" and Azul's would be "I have much more important things to do." And I think that's pretty fucking sad.

God please send me to their world I will watch the stars with him please i love him so much I'm—

BACK TO CAPSLOCK FJDJJEKFJKDJFKRNDKDJFKDFLDJRLFNFLDNFLDFNDLNDLDNFLFOFKDLDKDLDKDK

Look. No amount of words can actually describe my feelings for Jade Leech no words can do my love justice UE UE UE UE which is why I do the second best thing— keysmash.

Please please please I could give him the whole world and it wouldn't do my love for him justice 🗿 UE UE UE UEJFBRKFBTKNFRKFBFKFHJFHFDKHFKDBFKDHFKRBFRKBFRKBRKFBFKFNFKFJFKFJDKFK

I also uh, want him to step on me! Y',)!92+_)£_+ Y'know... He would stomp on my back and dig his heel into my back and probably hurl insults towards me 😳 man. I'd be hIS FUCKING DOORMAT IN A HEARTBEAT.

Omg this is getting long

The first part was much more 🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿 but I still do this anyways.

Anyways. Please stan Jade Leech I love him so much 💕

i would've included my brainrot but ppl would just go 🗿 "taku you really are a jade simp huh" and NO I DON'T WANT THATTTTTTTTT

[menalez]

Former brief RC follower.

Ok I'm bi and follow some bi women blogs and I made an anon post about being febfem and using the term to seek out SSA leaning bi women spaces.

Comments on it were supportive, until RC made a huge rant about how I'm biphobic and their usual grandiose labels placed on me.

I use to like some of their takes until their insane antifebfem crusade. RC placed all her talking points and proof about how badly I'm thinking cause I prefer to use febfem to find bi women spaces that are SSA leaning.

None applied to me cause I was never a radblr regular, never a TRA and I found febfems from another website. Literally all I could do is shake my head. RC sounded kinda....crazy? I dunno if that's the right word, it's like RC feels like they are the voice of bisexuality and everyone is wrong and thinks RC is right. It was alot of accusations over a random quick and poorly worded confession that I needed to express and to see RC long assumptions and accusations over my anon post that was incorrect cause lol. I'm not neck deep in wlw discourses. I know the jist of it. I just can't be bothered putting energy in it.

It's funny, I saw the post a few months later in passing cause Im usually having fun conversations and hangouts with online and irl SSA leaning bi women and even some sweet and kind lesbians and using febfem to continue to find and to be apart of SSA-leaning bi women communities we are creating.

It has been freeing for me to not seep in these toxic Tumblr spaces for long and just surround myself with women who agree and support me. The bisexual "community" is too diverse to make a unified "community" and I'm satisfied using febfem as the gateway to find the communities suited for me and bi women like me.

I know it's over said ..but touch grass. Seriously. I love the internet since dialup days but I use it just like back then, to find ppl and connect IRL. In person. Not to get sucked in to echo chambers and radfem/gender critical spaces can be just a echo chamber as any other. I just don't have the mental capacity to waste time fighting online who is the "best bi", when I rather Google a new place irl to visit like a park or museum, meet friends, go dancing, see the ocean, travel!

Life is too short. Nonstop discourse is exhausting and not worth the energy tbqh. Find your tribe using the internet, but get out there and see the world and enjoy life.💗💜💙

The bisexual "community" is too diverse to make a unified "community" and I'm satisfied using febfem as the gateway to find the communities suited for me and bi women like me.

this is so true tho like SO many of my bi friends have expressed this to me too and like 2 weeks ago i met up with one of my radfem friends in germany and she said this EXACT same thing & it’s such a good reason as to why labels like “febfem” which usually will either include 50/50 or SSA leaning bi women is helpful for many bi women. there’s nothing wrong with there being subgroups for specific types of bi people and ALSO a larger bi community. there’s no reason why both can’t exist? and such subgroups existing is helpful to the many bi women who almost exclusively like women but have a few men here and there that they’ve been into (sometimes even only one or two men in their entire lives) because up until now many have demanded the use of terms like lesbian despite knowing they have been / can be into the opposite sex.

as for rantingcrocodile… that’s what she’s like unfortunately. she seems super frustrated with her life or something, and instead of dealing with it she likes to take it out on random bisexual women and most of all, she likes to lash out at lesbians. i will never forget how i literally wrote ONE sentence mocking her for lashing out at someone and she wrote literally an essay’s worth (it was sth like 8 paragraphs? which sorry lol im not gonna read that esp cause she’s perpetually condescending). and then she blocked me, claimed im a coward who blocked her & saying she doesn’t wanna interact with me anyways bc im an antisemite e-scammer or sth, and when i told her that’s not true she tried to manipulate mansplain gaslight girlboss ??? so i was like lol ok im not dealing w this woman. and it’s at least nice to see it wasn’t me at all and she’s just a freak like that with EVERYONE including the bi women she loves to pretend she’s a champion of.

this is what happens when you give yourself such an ego by letting a couple hundred of tumblr followers and homophobic bi ppl praising u get to ur head i guess. good on u for living ur real life and enjoying life making a community of similar bi women instead of dealing w that nonsense, anon! ❤️

[kyunsies]

madch madch <3 hello love!

how are you my love :D YAY I'M SO HAPPY YOUR COLD IS GONE OMG!! Do you feel properly better now? the sleep nose cloggs is the worst, i'm super glad it's gone for you.

YES for a whole month - like it makes me miss summer holidays when i was a kid and you could take the time off like that. do you ever feel like you didn't appreciate that stuff like when you were a kid? like being able to have long sleeps and stuff or just running about the mall with no consequence? we really do have the same situation going on! i just want to be able to buy my mum a better house and a better car and nicer holidays and stuff? like that small stuff which sounds a bit boring but like, idk that means more to me than the overly flashy stuff? like i'd love to be a mum one day but seeing how much my mum does sometimes i'm like... IDK if I could hack it you know?

ah wow ok! my school i really get what you say about catholic guilt as it's super similar from my cultural influences as well? YES like, it's bad to think too well of yourself, or just that you shouldn't do it? or you're gonna end up inviting bad things if you do think too much of yourself? i get really confused about it sometimes. like - almost like there's a difference between self love and thinking too well of yourself? and i can appreciate myself without ever thinking i'm too good at something etc? does that make sense? idk i'm worried about self love it if means it makes my ego bad and over arrogant and all that stuff? I GET YOU tho - it is that line between contentment and like feeling yourself to the point it's ... ick? it's hard isn't it?

THAT FACT STEALING TOILET PAPER WAS YOU USING BAD LANGUAGE omg do you see what i mean you are just so so so so pure of heart and sweet and thank you for being so kind <3 are you looking forward to going back to uni in some ways? or is it all general *internal screaming*? remember you're mega and amazing <3

omg we literally had a HUGE HEARTWAVE to the point where I have so many bites everywhere - i'm glad you've had a bunch of sun but YAY TINY TINY SQUAD!!!!!!! I AM 5'1" so yay to us being tiny together <3 I am always the tiny one too! i used to hate it but i like my height more now - and like the fact i can fit into kids stuff on sale? or like shoe sizes not being a problem? but then sometimes the sizing is a bit weird like you said before! YOU GET IT WITH THE BF JEANS. It is a neverending quest RN. I've figured out the size I can really get for them but so few stores make it :/ we will see how this saga unfolds. do you lampshade a lot with clothes? i find i always end up doing that even if i don't mean to haha XD

OKAY SO JO MALONE I like the smell of pomegrante noir but IDK if I'd wear it but the lime and basil is another fave of mine. I just really really don't like musky smells I'm with you with the citrus! like, stuff that reminds me of summer and fresh stuff? musk makes me feel like i'm walking into like a noughties teen clothing store i just can't hasjdakshd. like i hate lynx smells? WHY DO BOYS WEAR IT?

AHHHH OMG ok mutual blue moon love YES HELLO <3 <3 <3 I ADORE lofi jazz garage I honestly die/simp for that sound. like they dabbled a bit more with those vibes in OOAK and that's why I loved the new album so much I guess? just so so so beautiful. i just wanna drown in like the sounds of moonlight and suggestions of other things by candlelight or long city drives? does that make sense? ugh LOVE IT. getting up in my feels here hahahajsdkhasda

YAY HI TO YOUR MOM <3 I hope she's having a beautiful beautiful day too and that's getting rest as well! never worry about getting back to me late, I know you're so busy and that's always okay, love you lots and lots <3 <3 <3

-💥xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

MY BEST PAL <33 hello my sweet, how have u been doing these days? i know i must sound like a record on repeat, but i miss you all the days that i don't hear from you, i'm always thinking about how you are doing ;____;

but YES after like ,,,,,,2 and a half weeks of being sick with the cold i am FINALLY over it :') it's not so much the stuffy nose during the daytime that annoys me it was the freaking clogged nose at night for the love of GOD i hate breathing with my mouth open it's so gross ;___; and sore throats ......... honestly i wouldn't wish a sore throat on my worst enemy lol like i'd rather have the flu for 2 days than a sore throat for a whole week ldkfjsdkf i'm such a baby <3

about being on holiday as a kid LOL IT WAS !!!!! the absolute best time !!! i know at some point we need to be functioning human beings in society lol but honestly at the age of like 13 where ur too young to work but u can't drive yourself anywhere ?? it's the best time (besides the driving part lol) bc you literally do not have one ounce of responsibility it's so great ;____; it's good to work and help ppl but i miss that too ....... and about our experiences with our single moms !!! pls this is all i want for her lol ; like u said nothing overly flashy but once i'm established i would like for her to live comfortably without being at the hands of someone else so i wouldn't mind like buying her a nice apartment ;____; when she was younger she traveled all the time and once i was born she coudn't do that with me bc she simply didn't have the money so she's always telling me after i graduate we should take a little trip to europe or go out west :( i think that would be so great :(((

OH GOOD OLD CATHOLIC GUILT LOL listen ..... there are a lot of things that the catholic church has done in the past that i don't agree with at all and stuff but ;____; i'm still grateful in some aspects bc my moral compass is like . a super big part of my life and it guides me to lead me away from decisions that aren't the best for me lol and i'm really grateful again for my mom for sending me to catholic school all these years :') and i think it's good to have this sense of humbleness (i hate ppl that are so boastful about themselves like truly no one cares sdjfslkf) but i do agree that catholic guilt can sometimes be a hinderance like i keep on saying i wish i had at least one ounce of self dignity SDLKFJ idk like u said it's a fine line between being humble and having no self worth :') i guess at the end of the day u need ppl surrounding u who make u feel like u are worth something and that it's okay to think positively about urself <3

honestly babe no ,,,,,, i'm not looking forward to going back to my final year of uni at all ;____; i don't know when i got like this but nursing school has literally scarred me to the point where i'm so anxious to even finish this year :( the ICU, my preceptorship, exams, finding and landing a job successfully before i graduate ???? i want it to all be over with so quickly but i'm so nervous for the future ahead of me ;____; will i get to where i am meant to be ???? i'm going to sOB IM NOT READY FSKDJFDS .............................

YAY TINY SQUAD LOL SOMEONE UNDERSTANDS !!!!!!! everyone on here is like boo hoo i'm 5'3 and im like ?????? ur inching near normal height shut up ?? SDKFJ :') truly shopping is so hard literally u can kill pants every fitting u perfectly unless u hem them and omg ??? pls explain to me what lampshading is LOL I HAVE NEVER HEARD THAT TERM BEFORE ?? :o !!!!!!!!! but also yes almost all of my sneakers are kids shoes LOL JOKES ON TALL PPL WE CAN GET THEM FOR CHEAPER <3

and about jo malone !!!!!!!!!!! the lime and basil one i've had my eye on it omg !!!!!!! bc i love love the smell of basil :) i'm actually visiting my grandparents this weekend and we are going to the mall so i'm going to finally pick up a new scent !!! i've literally had the one i told u about for 2 years LOL but i also agree everyone loves musky scents for some reason but i don't lsdkfjs i feel like those heavy scents "weigh me down" ????? do u feel that way too? it's hard to explain :')

ALSO OMG OKAY you are my blue moon ride or die now <3 have never met a mbb yet who loves blue moon as much as i do LOL it's just *mwah* perfection ........... absolute perfection like it fits all moods its fresh its lowkey it's perfect and YES YES i felt heaven kinda had the same vibe ??? not so much the dark garage jazz sound but more of the light and airy garage jazz sound LKDFJS i know that sounds dumb but it's lighter and happier but has that same lofi sound i'm obsessed with <3

okay bubbie but YEAH mom and i are healthy now we are in good spirits and we are hanging in there !! again i'm sorry for getting back so late hun really i always want to respond right away but like i always say quality over any short answer hhhh <3 i hope u have a lovely rest of the week if i don't hear from u soon okay? always sending love and hugs xxxxxxxxx !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <3

[chrliekclly]

do you think charlei and dee had sex because they mistook their genuine platonic bonding as attraction? (serious question, steming from thatlesbian dee post). I never thought of it that way, and I'm interested to hear that side !

YES that’s actully smthn i lose my sht abt !! iv blown up ppls mssgs with this kinda talk like, im a mess. ok lemme type right nd lemme type A Lot Again Anyways cz thos 2 giv me Way too many feelings (im spposd to b working on a final rn christ…)

okay…i scrolled back up after finishing nd turns out i went…literally insane…aka Much too far…so i need to under-the-cut it. mobile…viewers…i’m rly so sorry. swipe hard to leap ahead…hell im sorry fr computer viewers too. my theme is rough.

to start, my HCs surrounding chardee are rooted in charlie being on the ace spectrum and dee being gay (or like @ least bi, but imo all the men stuff is straight up compulsory heterosexuality).

i will always cling tight to the deleted scene wherein charlie says he thinks sex is gross and will genuinely get sick when he thinks about it unless he thinks about it with one specific woman. i know he shows sexual interest a decent amount of times throughout the show and has canonically had sex (on camera too, yeesh) but i see each time as very out of the blue moments (coming onto dee @ multiple points while worked up, agreeing to bang tatiana cuz she says to, that kinda thing) or relating to his long standing and delusional obsession with the waitress. in that vein, he’s also canonically enjoyed sex, and I don’t try and blind-eye any of it, because ace doesn’t always mean sex can’t be enjoyed in the moment. charlie definitely has a libido, and bodies be bodies. hell, sex-repulsed can sometimes even flip 180 in the right conditions. shit is one fun spectrum i’ll tell you that…but either way, to start with him, i think him going forward with banging dee was very much a misjudgment of what feelings are and being extremely caught up in a moment where he felt real, genuine, closeness with someone else who he was having a damn good time making terrible poetry with.

as for dee, i, first of all, just agree with everything in that post. in the context of chardee, as much as i will lose my mind in tags about how hard i ride or die the ship, it’s mostly my obsession with their dynamic. i don’t think chardee is meant to be endgame. i absolutely 100% believe that dee, too, is misinterpreting her feelings. i think part of it is her consistent comp het, and the other is she’s never been close with someone the way she has been with charlie, and she doesn’t know what she’s meant to do with it. i think she was similarly caught up in a moment in which she showed her own vulnerability, opening herself up to someone who could easily just ridicule her as she’s used to (”right now? i’m scared”), and she receives support from him instead (”you’re not gunna bomb, you’re gunna do great”). we’ve seen how much dee craves validation, thats her entire thing. i’m not shocked she dropped her pants in this moment lmao. she probably felt her damn heart flutter cuz she got told by someone who she at least somewhat trusts that she really is good, even if she doesn’t think so. the only rational explanation for the feeling associated with that person is that he’s The One right? pretty big leap

just…basically i dont think either of them know what a relationship is.

charlie’s lived nearly his entire life deluding himself into thinking that, 1. he and the waitress have a relationship that is anything other than creepy, and 2. that the warped-ass mess of an image he’s created in his brain for what he and the waitress are to each other is what love is. he thinks he’s making progress in getting close to her when the only thing she’s Ever done pre-s12 is ask him to leave her the fuck alone. he’s never even attempted to look past the waitress before, and the only time he shows interest in other people it’s purely his libido talking. he doesn’t pursue romance, and the one time we’ve seen him do so he was using her to get to, who else?, the damn waitress. 

dee’s lived her entire life having to prove herself to every single person she interacts with, and its familiar to her to getting ahead by using men, usually as sexual objects. i’m hesitant to bring this up on a post wherein i speak on dee’s sexuality because i don’t want to link this trait to it in any way as if its related, but to be fair, dee is as much a serial rapist as dennis is in that regard. the gang are shitty people, we know that. she will get men drunk to have sex with them, or pressure them into it, or trick them into it. she’s not having sex with these men for pleasure, she’s literally doing it for power. it’s absolutely fucked up, but so is she.

when she Is romantically involved, she’s shown to leap headfirst into those relationships and blow them out of proportion on 0 grounds for it. she buys a promise ring for a guy who didn’t think they were dating, it’s implied she’s going to actually go ahead with the brad fisher marriage thing after the episode ends, she gloats about how important she is to a stripper who was literally shame-crying during sex (also? she says “we BOTH wept,” and she can say that’s because it was that good, but i really doubt it). i mean the woman GAGS when talking to men she’s “nervous” around, something she takes as meaning she’s attracted to them? lmao uh???

at this point i’ve probably repeated myself over and over, my brain is on backwards and my train of thought went off the rails years ago. but i’m still gunna retype an old set of tags i found:

i hc that neither of them end up together but they do go through a relationship-ish phase, but dee’s gay and charlie’s okay with that (and always ace in my mind) because they finally move on from their own irrational drives to adhere to what they think is expected of them. i dont think either of them have any idea what a relationship is meant to be and they pathetically grasp at each other because they’re kind-ish to one another and that feels safe for once. chardee may be my main ship but i purposefully backtrack on myself because i know they’re two people who barely know love and have found each other, both as underdogs in their environments, and feel an electrifying Something that they Cant Name wen theyre together, and that something just so happens to be friendship and they don’t realize it cuz they’re doofuses who’ve led really unfortunate lives where friendship and hatred are always intermingling.

i’ve never brought it up here, but i often imagine a timeline of their relationship, because i enjoy the idea of them figuring themselves out through each other, just because they are genuinely amazing (platonically) together, and they get into some of my favorite shit. the thought of late night talks and confessions about their worries and confusion about their feelings while lying in bed, just close because they feel comfortable that way, realizing they can keep loving each other and not force it to mean something it doesn’t, the relief that comes with that, a final kiss that really doesn’t mean anything but thank you, not losing what they had but rather gaining a whole new kind of intimacy, and still getting into absolutely ridiculous situations. maybe dee realizes shes, ironically, found herself with a crush on the waitress and it cracks charlie up. he doesnt mind. he’s finally learned that if he Is going to be with someone it should definitely be with someone who makes him feel at Least half as comfortable as the way being around dee does, and knowing he doesn’t have to make himself look for that, but when he knows he will know. plus, he cant imagine dee pulling that one off. but maybe one day she does. dees gentler around the edges, and she gets butterflies when talking to women, but she never gags. charlie’s a terrible wingman but he keeps convincing dee to let him try. she brings a girl home for the first time and charlie all but backflips in an empty pool that day. they’re still shithats but they’re learning to let that go. people can get better. AA would probably help.

iv gone too far goodbye

[nemirutami]

Excuse me for being a weirdo who backreads people's blogs, but I had a small additional question regarding your answer to this ask here: /171315404167/ Do you also hate Alcor? If so, I'm incredibly curious to know why, since never harbored any ill will towards humanity and genuinely cared for the protagonist. (I realize I'm a little biased as I ship them together, but that's beside the point) I do agree most of the characters' motives and views were pretty selfish though.

I LOVE DESU ASKS.... AS EVIDENT BY THE VERY LONG REPLY... (SORRY!)

I’m glad ppl are reading them bc sometimes I feel like I’m yelling directly at a wall and my opinions are just bouncing right off, but I have an answer for that. 

I think the game did Alcor disservice in how he was represented. He would have benefited more from being impartial (but he isn’t impartial- and I’ll go more into detail about how he meddles to tip the scales) but I will admit anime!alcor was worse and just a sloppy attempt at making a NGE reference- but I won’t go into that because I could write an essay about how shitty the DESU2 anime is (I think everyone can- no one that played the game liked it and I can’t blame them).

The characters I actually can’t stand are: Yamato and Ronaldo. Because they’re actually the ones that actively go out and wipe out even ALLIES for their own benefit, not gonna lie- I might hate Ronaldo just a tiny bit more because of Makoto’s fate events, even if Yamato is just as bad if not worse. On top of that, they’re both awful hypocrites and unlike Yamato where I can kinda see the appeal, Ronaldo is completely unlikable. Even so, I can enjoy ships with Yamato in them. Tho I ship absolutely no one with Ronaldo because why would you evoke that kind of suffering in anyone. 

Everyone else is either bordering on annoying, bland, or just a mean spirited asshole. I feel more sympathy for Keita than I do for Hinako because at least Keita calls everyone a piece of shit, whereas Hinako seems to single out Daichi to shit on... on Daichi’s own route. Fumi also talks down to everyone, but in this case, Daichi’s just caught in the crossfire. Similar with Airi, she hates EVERYONE apparently, and will even punch Jungo. Hinako tho seems to specifically target Daichi on his route like... what the fuck is your problem? You called him an idiot twice in 1 battle Hinako holy shit, go chill??? I will never let this go because BOY was just BREATHING and she went “UGHHH YOU’RE SO STUPID” LIKE LET HIM BREATHE HOLY SHIT IS HE NOT EVEN ALLOWED THAT ANYMORE? 

Anyways, onto Alcor.

There’s a lot of plot holes and inconsistencies surrounding how the summoning app actually works (Alcor invented it after all, and gave it to us to use) and all these inconsistencies just make Alcor look bad from a writing standpoint (more of that below). He could have been a good character had he not been written poorly (Much like Yamato and... like 99% of the cast really. Even Daichi suffers from shit writing and I’ll never forgive them for this.) and had the plot not fucked him in the end and basically had him destined to die even on Daichi’s route (which sucks but is understandable since he is a septentrione) perhaps I’d have actually liked him. 

I tend to love characters that obsess with the protagonist, and they’re usually my absolute FAVORITE characters. I’m really surprised I didn’t jump on Alcor’s ship with the protag because it HAD the setting I absolutely adored for relationships to form? Especially the alien/human dynamic since I came into DESU2 right after exiting NGE so I was IN THE MOOD. Alcor in and of himself was just. Not satisfying to interact with (bored me to tears too) because of his cryptic messages that (more than anything) just waste time and bring the player nowhere unless they rank up to like 4 right before Yamato basically THROWS EXPOSITION AT YOU AND EXPLAINS THE ENTIRE PLOT ON THE 2ND LAST DAY (it’s even worse and comes even more out of nowhere if you haven’t interacted with Alcor at all in his fate events. More disservice. They should have made Alcor’s fate events more intimate and given Alcor more plot relevant lines within the plot itself instead of his events. Much like... Daichi really. They fucked up with Daichi by making his fate events more relevant to his character growth than the actual plot. I guess they did the same for Alcor but truth be told, I remember so little about Alcor because more than anything Alcor just bored me. Never quite pissed me off. Just bored me.) 

Ok, but onto the cake. The things that made me iffy on Alcor’s character in general.

Alcor supposedly gave humans fire and culture and blah blah. Already this is telling me to practice immense amounts of disbelief since it’s well documented how these things came about, but I suppose if no one actually knows the history then they can accept this at face value? I wasn’t tho. He acted responsible for it and it put me in disbelief and just made me think he sounded like an idiot. It also made him seem very arrogant, because it implied people NEEDED to be given culture, and that we just didn’t develop culture and diversity on our own. It implies we were all lifeless husks until he came along and granted it to us. Which is insulting.

The fact he’s a septentrione isn’t foreshadowed well and is very obvious from the second we see him floating and talking to other demons/septentriones since he clearly knows what they’re saying. Not really a character-specific issue. Just more problems of bad writing. “Who is he...” Daichi have you seen a HUMAN float in space like that god fucking damn it i love you but why u so duMB WHY YOU ALL SO DUMB IT’S CLEARLY EITHER A DEMON OR A SEPTENTRIONE, THE REAL QUESTION IS- WHY IS HE HELPING US?

Btw that’s another point. Why is he helping us? Oh, right, because he messed up.

He doesn’t want Yamato’s world, but he gave Yamato the power to reform society. Then, when Yamato tries to do what Alcor granted him the means to do, he’s like. Hm. Well. Shit? This guy’s a fucking psycho. Time to place my bets on the protagonist instead (which he does favor a lot- which doesn’t make him impartial really since he clearly favors explaining things more to Hibiki/Protag than anyone else in the game, and it puts everyone else at a disadvantage when a GOD LIKE ENTITY is behind the protag boosting him to make the “right” choice for humanity). I know Alcor was fascinated by humans and wanted them to live (which is fine), yet he didn’t bother to warn the MILLIONS that died (and remained dead in one of the endings- thanks Alcor) due to his negligence. Knowing about it and at least not issuing a warning is cruel. Sure, he gave people the demon summoning app, but the app was considered a “prank site” (nice advertisement, Alcor) as Daichi said at the start of the game (which i hate more than Yamato himself. Daichi. This. This idiot. This idiot signed his best friend up to a DEATH SITE just cus LOLS- the writing is bullshit, and I really disliked early Daichi, too. I disliked some of later canon-Daichi too because he was just rendered to a joke outside his Fate Events). The writing is really unfair on everyone, and it doesn’t help that the app doesn’t work the way it’s advertised to work anyways, seeing as Alcor can twist it to do what HE needs it to do at any time.

For example, the app is said to send death videos regarding people you’ve made a bond with, but clearly that’s all bullshit considering Alcor manually sends Hibiki a warning (and only Hibiki alone) of Otome’s death video so that NO ONE BUT HIBIKI CAN SAVE HER. This implies he can manipulate the death videos personally and exclude others from receiving videos. This. This is not kind. Not at all. I know he was testing Hibiki, but at THIS RISK? Losing Otome can FUCK YOUR PERFECT RUN and outside game mechanics, ELIMINATE ANOTHER HUMAN LIFE. If he wanted to, he could kill characters he actually doesn’t like this way by basically not sending the videos out to people, which, if you don’t go to save Otome right away- will be the end of her. He’s putting all his bets on you alone and testing you by cutting off everyone else from the app- potentially hindering backup to save Otome. Sure, you save her but you can just as easily kill her. I can’t say this wasn’t a sleazy test because he was basically playing with Otome’s LIFE and showed no signs of remorse. Some love for humans you have Alcor. Shit dude. This isn’t kind at all.

But I guess these are my main qualms about him- at least the ones I remember- but take everything I say with a grain of salt bc I tried to avoid confrontation with him completely in my 2nd and 3rd run so I have vague memories lingering. I don’t hate him? I can actually like him if he’s written well by other people, but given how he is in the game, I can’t say I ever enjoyed interacting with him. He didn’t annoy me other than the 2 times I’ve stated above, where he basically talks down to us about how we got to our culture and how he kinda lets Otome PERISH if we don’t respond quickly enough. I know it was a test to the protagonist’s will, but aren’t the septentriones a test enough of my conviction, Alcor, honestly. Unlike Airi, Hinako, Keita, and everyone else, Alcor doesn’t annoy me at all. Io annoys me more, if not only because the game wanted Daichi to be plot relevant only for Io to get all the spotlight. Io is genuinely maybe the better written character- it’s just such a shame they flipflop on her as a lead when in any other game, she could easily have been a lead. Her love triangle kills any enjoyment I get from her at all tho and just makes me bitter. More bad writing- who would have guessed.

Tho from a shipping standpoint? You can ship Alcor with Hibiki for good reasons, obviously. There’s a clear connection and fascination there that doesn’t surprise me people flock to (because I would have been there too had they just written him better). I don’t really mind the ship itself. When I say “i don’t mind it” I just mean I don’t feel anything for it and I’d probably not draw it for myself. There are really no ships I hate or really... dislike? There’s just stuff I don’t ship, but I can definitely ship Hibiki/Alcor if it was for a plotpoint of some kind in a fic or art or whatever. It depends on the idea really. 

I guess it’s too late to say something like this so far into the post, but I like to believe that ANY ship works if the construction/buildup to it is good enough. I believe you can make any character do/say anything under the right circumstances with the right motives without it being OOC or feel out of place. I’d like to think talent is wicked like that- a double edged sword of risky ideas that can either make or break your interpretation/perception depending on how you build it up. Though, that takes effort. Something DESU2 sadly lacks in a lot of ares, but it’s still a game worth playing for the experience and I wouldn’t not recommend it for the good parts that are (while few) really, really good.

[unloneliest]

hi i don’t think pan ppl are transphobic, just because bi ppl can be attracted to 2+ genders and pan are attracted to all doesn’t mean pan ppl or bi ppl are transphobic. i deal w panphobic things anytime anyone mentions pansexuality and i really thought your blog would be safe from that. i'm pan and don’t use bi bc i recognize i'd be attracted to someone regardless of gender identity as long as i find them attractive (and this has nothing to do w seeing trans ppl as a dif gender), if they're 1/

this is a long post & i want ppl to have the option 2 skip it so i’m putting it under a readmore; above all else i’m so thankful that you sent me these asks and deeply sorry that i rb’d something that made you feel unsafe on my blog. i agree with you; i don’t think bi or pan people are inherently transphobic and i’m really sorry i implied that with that post!

2/ if they ID as demiboy or demigirl, or genderfluid or anything else that isn't binary, then i really don’t care. i'm not saying bi ppl can’t feel the same since i said bi people are attracted to 2+ genders or all, but pan is rooted in the emphasis of all gender identities. yes theres a lot of overlap but just... i'm hurt that you'd rb smth like that, i understand the last line of its root in transphobia but being gay/straight and so many other things have issues that clash w other LGBT+ IDs

3/ if anything, i've dealt with internalized panphobia and homophobia, i just never felt comfortable with saying i was bi, not because it was "boring" or "binary" but bc everyone would just assume i was attracted to guys and women which was never the case and saying i was pan allowed for me to show that i knew that there are more than 2 gender identities and that i was attracted to all of them

hi its the 3 pt ask anon and its like i completely get why bi ppl would be upset w pan ppl but its just so hard when both are oppressed and one of the most common arguments is like: we aren't seen so we have to be seen first before you try to get into this too. i get why biphobia exists but the same biphobia exists for pan ppl. so many ppl say you're just straight bc of a het relationship or you're just bi then. or the whole theres only two genders argument. and its like i'm as open to dating

5?/ anyone. i genuinely do not care about whichever gender they ID as since i just find ppl attractive for being attractive. and bi ppl can be the same. there is a LOT of overlap and i'm not going to dismiss any worries or concerns. all i know is that the pan community i've surrounded myself with to find love in my sexuality and community have constantly explained that theres overlap but it depends to the person and neither sexuality is transphobic so i try to never overstep or invalidate either

but thank you for listening, so many ppl just invalidate pan voices who try to put both bi and pan ppl into view while acknowledging how theres overlap but theres a difference. its hard feeling invalidating when all i (and others) do is be as inclusive as possible and try to never overstep. i listen to others worries like you do and i've learned so much from your blog and your rbs which i appreciate. it was just hard seeing panphobia & biphobia when i've tagged both to filter the words out

8?? sorry i lost count/ ty again for listening

hi and again just. thank you, for sending me these. i’ve privated the post for now, because i don’t want to hurt anybody but i also don’t want to avoid accountability 4 hurtful actions; i’d most like to delete the post but probably only will if you’re ok with that. and if i ever rb something that includes biphobia or panphobia i’ll do my best to always tag them.

and again i’m so sorry to have rb’d a hurtful post especially bc that runs so opposite to what i want to be doing with this blog & i know that when i’ve found something hurtful shared in spaces i viewed as safe it’s somehow hurt a lot worse than when i’ve encountered hurtful attitudes in places i was expecting it. 

in retrospect the phrasing on that post was Not kind, & didn’t convey the nuance i read into it. my baseline assumption of both bi and pan people is that neither group is inherently transphobic; both identities have extremely similar experiences and my perspective on different lgbtq+ identities in general is that our strength is in solidarity and isolating/separating can be really dangerous to the lgbtq+ community’s ability to thrive and work on making the world better and safer for us all. 

i’m really glad that you’ve found love and support within the pan community and i have all the respect and admiration in the world for my bi and pan siblings in the lgbtq+ community! being able to find folks who share your identity and to find pride in yourself together is so healing and important and i’m so glad for the times i’ve experienced that in my life as well. 

you’re right that all communities do have issues with transphobia, and i normally wouldn’t join in on other identity’s in-community conversations; i thought about that when reblogging the post earlier but i do my best to rb posts asking people to examine if their beliefs and identity might be formed on transphobic assumptions when it comes to all labels and that’s why i did originally rb. i do my best to rb a lot of posts asking wlw to examine potentially transphobic ideas they might hold, because i’m an afab nonbinary wlw and so regardless of the fact that i’m not cis, i have a lot more privilege than trans women do in wlw spaces and i know i need to be doing what i can to make wlw spaces safe for trans women & girls.

and the post i rb’d did just have pretty shitty & confrontational wording, which i didn’t think about when rb’ing it. i’m sorry again for that! 

my reasoning in rb’ing that post was the same as when i rb posts asking wlw to examine their views; not that everyone of the groups in question are inherently shitty in some way, but that we all could use reminders to reflect sometimes and that occasionally people will be misinformed or have a shitty view/shitty views - but that that’s not the norm. i also felt more ok rb’ing this post bc i for a very long time id’d as bi, and my attraction as a lesbian still is to women and nonbinary people who don’t feel misgendered by the attraction of a lesbian; some people would call me bi for that, but it’s a common lesbian experience. i really relate to what you said about choosing pan because it really clearly sends the message that you’re attracted to people regardless of gender, bc i chose lesbian as a label bc it sends the message that i’m Not attracted to men! it’s about how i want people to see me.

my reading of the post was connected to experiences i had with some pretty shitty transphobic ex coworkers; they didn’t know i wasn’t cis, but a number of my coworkers at the time were bi. transphobia/biphobia tw for the rest of this paragraph/ the ex coworkers were pan and they adamantly told me/other coworkers that bisexuality was attraction to men and women whereas pansexuality was attraction to men, women, and trans people. my assumption based off of them wasn’t that pan people are transphobic/that pan as an identity is inherently transphobic, but that they as individuals sucked and were transphobic & biphobic?

that experience does touch on what the post was about though, i think. since the bi manifesto written in 1990 “official” definitions of bisexuality have been stating that bi doesn’t just mean attraction to men and women, and that there are more than 2 genders; it’s society’s biphobia that causes people to think that bisexuality isn’t inherently inclusive of more than 2 genders/inherently inclusive of trans people. its clear to me that you know there’s overlap in the communities and that you’re not transphobic and again that’s my baseline assumption of pan or bi people! ik that stinkers are always the exception in communities.

i rb’d the post because i think self reflection on internalized bs is good, and i didn’t realize how confrontational & potentially shitty the post was; i’m really sorry that i rb’d it and made my blog feel unsafe & i’m going to do my best to be more thoughtful in the future. i hope that me sharing why i rb’d it doesn’t come across as an excuse, either; i’m just hoping knowing my intentions might help w/ the experience. 

(if ppl must know, link to the post here )

[askluxnovalibra]

Part 1 Hey can you please help me, I'm a libra sun sag moon scorpio venus and mercury (and dominant) and nobody has really seen me cry or sensitive and I feel like nobody rly knows me except for my brother, cousin, and two closest friends... but they kinda suck at opening up too, and my brother has enough psychological problems. I always get perfectly along with scorpios and capricorns and yin moons bc i understand how underrated and misinterpreted their suffer and pain are

Part 2 And there are these two friends: sag suns with scorpio/pisces moon… and they are so omg im sorry but its so freaking painful. They both have their problems but they both are so fckin shallow seriously. The pisces moon just doesnt understand what life is and is brutally ingenuous. And scorpio moon is such a b**** rly. She has a tough backstory her brother has always been a jerk (he’s mentally ill) And i though she would be great bc she always says she understands pain and etc.Part 3 And here comes the deal: I have been exposed to mentally ill ppl, ocd hysterical and completely evil people who happened to be my beloved family. At 14 I stopped having them and found out they were everything I didn’t expect them to be. I lost my whole childhood (wich happened to be my basic reason to live). At 15 I went to a sports school. They were our friends, we trusted them. One year goes by and once again I am betrayed by my friends and fall on the ground.Part 4 Then, comes the BEST part. As ive said im a scorpio venus. I fell in love at first sight with a boy that totally corresponded. Small detail: he had a gf. He now broke up with her so thats kinda nice (not to sound mean, rly) for me but whatever; I was 15 and I had been betrayed by everyone. At 16 I was dead inside. I didn’t get attached i didnt live i didnt like to be even awake i cries everyday before school and after school and before going to bed.Part 5 I even got to a point of cutting my arms bc i enjoyed knowing the pain i was going through was actually real and not “sumthin you have to go through, its life.” I met the scorpio moon. At first she seemed awesome. Until getting upset at the smallest thing. Im a scorpio dominant and i know i dont need to be like that. I know she just does this because shes immature and has no clue of life. Im sorry im doing this long ask but rly i need help. No one literally no one knows this.Part 6 No one knows i cry no one knows i ever even cut my arms. And no one even notices. Thank god tbh. No one knows and imagines what it is to cry and scream and DIE for a dude you don’t even know. I know it sounds exaggerated but its the truths. I cant fall in love with anybody else since im 15 and im 17 (turning 18 this year) I live in a house ik im moving out of but i dont know when. I live with my mom in my grandmothers and she is also mentally ill. My mom too is always mentally unstablePart 7 She’s been through everything no one should go through. My dad is f****d up with this house and always hides very well we actually don’t have lots of money. My brother is an amazing soul an exceptional person who fell in love almost 5 years ago and still has anxiety bc of what happened (he didn’t know her too) and has too many psychological problems. I’m stuck with myself and no one seems to understand. I’m so sorry for this post. I’m so, so sorry. It’s just I’m done. I’m tired of pplPart 8 Im tired of ppl making me cry Of ppl being shallow Ppl hurting me and seeing me as A B*TCH I just need someone that actually knows. That actually can tell me they understand me and they too hate it all like me. Im so sorry and thank you for having the patience to read this. ❤️💖———————————————————–

It sounds like you’re going through a really challenging time in your life. I know it can seem endless, and it can seem like everyone is out to get you. Once you feel betrayed, it can be hard to trust people again. It is all too easy to be stuck in our own extreme emotions. After losing faith in someone, it’s tempting to write off everyone in your life as fake, shallow, and naive. Constantly replaying the betrayal in your mind will only do you harm. It’ll only make you more angry and more likely to adopt the “me against the world” type of attitude. You’re 17. You’re still young. You still have a long life ahead of you, and it would be remiss of you to go through life with that sort of attitude. You’ve been wronged, and it is alright to acknowledge that, but you must now think about the situation with your heart, perhaps not so much with your heart. The heart can be easily mislead, easily angered, easily fooled, easily spiteful, easily misguided. Consider moving into a stage of forgiveness. Forgiveness in this sense is not saying that those people’s actions were ok, forgiveness is more for your own sake. Start to detach yourself from the pain those actions caused you. Continuing to obsess over the transgressions of others will hinders your own progress. If the wound is to ever heal, you must stop picking at the scab. Let yourself move on. One way you can do that is to write everything down (as you have bravely shared with me, a stranger) on a piece of paper. Write out every hurt, every frustration, everything that keeps you up at night. Then tear it up, burn it, or throw it away. It clears the energy. It’s no longer a problem, it’s out of your head, and you are free to move on. Detach yourself from people you can’t trust. If they’re actively causing drama or unpleasantness, leave the situation. If you can, slowly stop reaching out to them, or say you don’t feel like hanging out. If you want closure, you could meet up with the, to talk. It’s harder when they’re your family members because you can’t really escape them, but you can still with them and talk out your problems. You can say “I’m having a hard time understanding why you did this …” or “I’m confused about this situation…” or “I felt hurt when this happened…”. You must also realize that most people aren’t complete bad. In a lot of what you described, I couldn’t help but think that perhaps some of those people aren’t actively out to get you. I think you may be too close to the situation. I would advise you to get an outside perspective. You reached out to me, and that is a great start, but I only have a limited understanding of the situation, and only from your perspective. I think the best course of action is to seek real, professional help. As someone who harms themself and who is surrounded by the effects of mental illness, I would seriously consider seeking out a therapist or counselor. I am not a professional. I do not know you personally, and so the advice I can offer is very limited. Seeking someone who has gone to school for psychology will be able to help you much more than I can. It is brave of you to share this, and it’s a good sign that you’re willing to reach out to others. Consider asking for professional’s help in your area. Likely your school has access to counselors and can refer you to a full-time therapist.

I really do wish you the best 🌸

[hunkkeiths-blog]

So I just scrolled 20000 years back on your blog like the creep I am and I saw you mention schizophrenic Keith headcanons but never actually saw schizo Keith headcanons and I'm 👀👀👀

once again thank you so much for sending this! i really really love this au but i never talk about it bc i feel like no one cares and this makes me sooo happy!

also sorry again for answering late i just wanted to be able to type everything relatively quickly and use a readmore

(i added links that lead to wiki pages to explain what certain stuff is, you don’t need to click them or anything)

ok so here goes

[Food mentions and slight emeto for this part]

Keith has a lot of trouble with food, both bc of sensory issues and paranoia

when its sensory, its mostly if the texture is too different to whats hes used to, or if theres too much taste and theres anything else (a sound, some lights flashing, whatever) hell get overwhelmed really easily. so he tries to stick to relatively tasteless stuff

Keith also gets a lot of persecutory delusions and some of the most recurring ones is that his food has been poisoned, having relatively tasteless food helps with not being as convinced of that

On good days (well as good a day as you can have when you think your food has been poisoned anyway), he can sort of just power through it and eat enough to not be starving.

On bad days, he either doesn’t eat at all, or if he only realises it after having eaten he becomes sick/makes himself sick.

Back on Earth, especially during his year alone, he had 3-4 “trusted foods/brands” and he almost exclusively only ate those

Once on the ship, things get very complicated, because from the start, he doesn’t trust the altean food goo (he still doesn’t if he’s entirely honest, but they’ve all been eating it and none of them are dead yet so if it is poisoned its slow acting enough) so he mostly only eats when hes absolutely starving for the first month or so before he slowly starts to eat more of the altean meals

He does however trust what Hunk cooks partly because he trusts Hunk, partly because Hunk eats it too, and (taste+texture of the food goo aside) hes always more comfortable when Hunk cooks.

[Warning ended]

While developing and after when he had it (which was 2 or 3 years before he entered the Garrison), Keith ended up almost entirely isolated from people, in part because he would willingly withdraw from others, in part because the people who took care of him after his father left/died (foster families i guess? i dont really know how the system works and i cant imagine how much worse it must be for a schizophrenic kid so) didn’t really know what to do with him because he had really bad emotional blunting

Because he was mostly left alone, he started focusing alot on the delusions he had at the time, the main one of which was that he just wasnt human (which yes turned out to be somewhat true, but it’s still a delusion). that led him to thinking of going to space because of a feeling that something would happen there. which led him to the garrison which is how he ended up there.

At the Garrison, he was amazing at flying and mediocre at best in all his other classes.

This is partly because outside of doing stuff that could actually directly get him to space, he wasnt able to get any motivation to do anything else. (even if he gets kicked out, he can just steal a rocket or something right?)

he also didnt really have any friends because he didnt approach anyone and more or less actively avoided anyone trying to get close to him.

the way he just was; never showing any emotion, barely speaking, the weird things he sometimes did, etc; sort of drove ppl away on its own

(this is also sort of the reason he didnt remember him and lances “rivalry” in s1ep1. he never actually noticed lance thought of him as a rival, he just thought lance was sort of loud)

Shiro ended up like being a mentor or something to Keith, and Keith wasnt able to really avoid him

They start off sort of rocky, because Keith hates interacting with other people, due to paranoid thoughts (”he can read my mind”, “he wants to hurt me”, and so on) that, while they werent nearly as bad as off meds, were still present even with medication.

Slowly though, Keith warms up to Shiro and starts trusting him (though shiro is never really sure because Keith doesnt show it at all)

Keith starts doing better in all his classes, because he’s interpreted that shiro will be extremely disappointed in him if he ends up getting kicked out because of poor grades, and hes terrified of disappointing literally the only person in the world he trusts

It also leads to Keith putting a minimum of effort into becoming at least somewhat expressive 

When the kerberos mission fails, keith is destroyed. all his grades almost instantly drop and he barely shows up to class because losing the only person he trusts essentially makes him totally apathetic, and go back to having alot of paranoid thoughts/delusions (mostly surrounding the garrison staging the entire thing, sort of fake moon landing style but with actual murder to make people back off on exploring space because of Something), and feeling like he’s being stalked by people (not entirely untrue tbh), and deal with anhedonia. and thats how he gets kicked out/how he drops out 

Living entirely alone (as in without any supervision) was hell for Keith.

Moving to the shack after dropping out messed with his entire routine, and without a relatively strict routine, he ends up forgetting his meds

Off medication, he had really really really horrible episodes that almost always ended with him getting hurt in some way

Off-meds, he starts his garrison/shiro conspiracy wall

He also found the blue lions cave during an episode

After a while (keith never tries to find out how much time he spent without his meds because he forgot about them), he ends up taking his antipsychotics again, and almost destroys the wall, except theres a feeling he still has that he rememebers he had during an episode.

He ends up going to the cave again, and “Holy shit that was real??” so he restarts his wall while being a bit more down to Earth.

The day shiro crashes on earth is one of the best days of his life bc, well, shiro, but also because he was actually right for once.

Overall, Keith’s pretty good at organising his thoughts and not speaking incoherently, but if hes at all stressed, hell go through a lot of thought blocking

It’s really annoying because Keith hates not being understood and not finishing his points, but often, even if the person hes talking to reminds him what he was talking about, he cant remember what he was going to say after

He also used to think that the thought blocking was aliens and/or the government stealing away all his thoughts to study humans (or, before the garrison: not entirely human entities)

His thoughts are alot more disorganised than his speech shows (under normal circumstances, there are occasions where he does get mostly incoherent). He’s learned to think of what hes going to say step by step before saying it

What he says often still comes off as not entirely thought out, rude, etc because thinking about what order words are going to come out of his mouth doesnt fix not understanding how to interact with others

And here’s a bunch of stuff i couldn’t really make long enough to warrant a separate section:

Keith stims mostly when hes nervous or bored, and he stims by scratching his nails against things, because he likes the sounds it makes.

[self harm (sort of)] at some point, the team notices that when theres nothing for him to scratch (like a wall or something), hell scratch at his own skin, because scratching fabric feels/sounds horrible, often until he scratches part of it off. so they make him these little squares of material to scratch at

Keith does a lot of magical thinking (i cant find an easy link for this but in this case its like seeing signs in things that are seemingly unrelated if that makes sense) where he’ll see a ‘sign’ and feel like he has to do something (what something is varies from something very specific to just “something”)

since he obviously cant always do what hes supposed to do after seeing the signs, hes started writing down everything so he can do it later (lance’s idea). it helps a lot.

Keith hates places with background noises that arent constant (like they stop and start, stop and start), even if they arent particularly loud, because he loses his entire train of thought whenever it stops or starts

Ok! that’s all I can think of right now, I hope this answered what you were looking for! 

I lost my entire train of thought at least 5 times while typing this so I’ll probably add more things in my tag later on when I think of them again!

I’m also writing an actual story with this, it should come out around the end of June if you’re interested!

[qwedfas]

yeah ok ppl who follow me on insta will know who it is bc i ranted abt it :/ well deal with it bc its really affecting me so fam I've just realised I'm not that good at anything and no amount of practise ever lead to me improving

Hey honey,

Sorry but we’re not sure what you’re specifically referring to about the person/ rant, but if you let us know we’d be happy to give more advice on this. Either way though we are definitely sure you are good at least something in your life, and even if you weren’t we shouldn’t always expect ourselves to be perfect to deserve the good things in life.  

While it’s something we’ve all thought before, there is always something we are good at - even if it’s not something measurable like assessment scores or awards. We’re sure that the friends you will tell you that you’re one of the best people they know, that you’re parents are so grateful to have you, that siblings draw support from you and look up to you, and that your teacher enjoy having you in their classes. There is value in everyone, even if we can’t see it ourselves, and often the people we surround ourselves are better able to judge these things than we are. People have this tendency to second guess themselves and put themselves down, but we should be instead focusing on what makes us who we are and celebrate those things. It can be hard to have a positive look on ourselves when we think the complete opposite, but that’s something we’ve got to change - and instead it’d do so much more us if we could al be a little kinder to ourselves.

And for the things we think we’re not so good at, we can always improve, even it’s a slow process or we can’t see any progress. We’e always in a state of growing, learning and bettering ourselves, and there’s always potential within that to improve ourselves.

Hopefully this helps,

Love, FAM xx