#but if i'm striving for excellence... if i'm going for an Experience?

[wewontbesleeping]

that mitch hedberg joke about baked potatoes taking so long that sometimes he throws one in when he doesn't even want one, because who knows how he'll feel by the time it's done? yeah. felt.

[ikolaiigh]

I need Bok-su meeting reader at Da-jeong’s wedding who is also there for revenge because of something Da-jeong did to them in the past 🙏

The U & I in Revenge

𝑻𝑾/𝑾𝑨𝑹𝑵𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺..Mentioned violence, Reader is a bit unhinged in this one, violent thoughts, Bok-su being her own warning lmao.

𝑷𝑨𝑰𝑹𝑰𝑵𝑮𝑺: Bok-su x Fem!Reader

𝘈/𝘕: Hey guys, guess who's back from the dead! Life's been rough with me, but nonetheless, I am back. I've been caught up on the Married in Red, and the request just fueled up my hyperfix. I am also going to make a pt 2 for this !! So I hope you all enjoy :)

-Listen to The U & I in Suicide by the handsome devil for better experience.

The pre-wedding meandering is as boring and dreadful as you thought it would be.

Swirling your glass of champagne, you lean against the far wall of the room, a smile carefully plastered on your face. The lively chatter and laughter of the crowd around you fade into the background. You take a slow sip, savoring the bubbles that tickle your tongue, pretending to enjoy the celebration.

In truth, you couldn't care less about mingling with the crowd or being seen by it. You’re here because it's your sister’s pre-wedding party, and you need to keep up the facade of being happy for her. After all, everyone expects you to be thrilled about the upcoming nuptials.

Oh the things you did for your sister.

Speaking of the devil... Truly, the only exciting thing about all of this so far has been seeing her dear friend who dropped out of university. The sheer horror on Da-jeong’s face as she greeted her.

You see your sister, radiant as ever, chatting animatedly with the guests. Her laughter rings out, clear and bright, drawing everyone's attention. She looks genuinely happy, the center of everyone's admiration and affection.

You grip your glass of champagne a bit tighter, feeling the cool stem press into your palm. A frown tugs at the corners of your mouth as you watch her bask in the spotlight. The warmth of the room feels stifling, contrasting sharply with the envy settling in your chest. You take another sip of champagne, your smile faltering just slightly as you struggle to maintain your composure.

You start to wonder when everything went wrong in your life. You dedicated yourself to your studies, always striving for excellence, while Da-jeong was carefree, attending parties and messing around. Despite her seemingly reckless behavior, she always managed to captivate everyone’s attention.

From childhood, your sister had been the center of attention, effortlessly drawing admiration from family and friends. You worked hard, hoping to gain the same recognition from your parents, but it always felt like you were in her shadow. The spotlight was hers, no matter how much you accomplished.

A bitter thought creeps in: you wish it were you gaining the spotlight, not your sister. Your grip on the glass tightens to the point of discomfort, and you can't help but glare at Da-jeong as she basks in her moment of glory.

You imagine her wedding dress stained red by your hands. How selfish she is. After all the opportunities you gave her. No gratitude, no acknowledgment. Just her, always in the spotlight. You wish they could see her for who she truly is. The envy burns hotter. The champagne glass feels like it might shatter.

You, always in the background. Her, always the favorite. Your hard work overlooked. Her careless charm adored. It's not fair. It’s never been fair.

It's her fault. Not yours. Not yo-

"You don't seem very happy."

The grip on the champagne glass in your hand lessens as you're suddenly startled by a voice. You quickly turn to face the person, forcing a smile onto your lips.

"Whatever do you mean, darling? I'm perfectly fine," you say, giggling lightly. You hope the sound of your laughter is convincing enough to make them forget the tension they just witnessed, wishing they would move on and leave you to your thoughts.

"In my eyes, you were glaring at the bride, angrily might I add," the person says with a slight grin, sipping their own champagne while looking at you. You grit your teeth in slight annoyance, biting the tip of your tongue to refrain from snapping.

"Really? That's quite the imagination you have," you reply with a forced chuckle, trying to keep your tone light, taking another sip of your champagne, hoping to divert their attention. "I must have been lost in thought. You know how these family events can be."

The person presses further, their grin widening. "Lost in thought, you say? Looked more like jealousy to me."

"Mind your own business!" You retort sharply. A few people nearby glance your way, their conversations pausing. Realizing your outburst has drawn attention, you quickly put on a sweet facade and apologize to the onlookers.

"Sorry about that, everyone. Just a bit of a misunderstanding," you say with a charming smile.

As the crowd’s attention shifts back to their own conversations, you turn back to the person, scowling. You take in her appearance: black shoulder-length hair tied into a messy ponytail, a black vinyl trench coat with a white undershirt, a red belt cinched around her waist, and red gloves on her hands. Recognition dawns on you—she's your sister's ex-friend from university.

“What do you want?” You ask, your voice low, as you place the empty glass of champagne on the waitress’s tray, offering a polite thank you. You turn back to the woman, your gaze steady.

“I was just curious about why you were looking at the bride like that,” she says, her tone almost playful. She takes a leisurely sip of her own champagne, still smiling, then sets her glass down, and extends her hand toward you. “I’m Bok-su, by the way. We haven’t fully met yet."

"Not in person, no. I'm Choi [Name]. My sister spoke a lot about you when she was at uni," you say with a polite smile, extending your gloved hand to her.

Bok-su takes your hand, her touch unexpectedly warm, and she brings it to her lips, pressing a light kiss on the back of it. Her eyes hold a knowing glint as she releases your hand.

"Interesting," she murmurs, a hint of amusement in her voice. "I didn’t realize I’d left such an impression. I've heard quite a bit about you too. Always the diligent one, weren't you?"

“Yes, well, someone had to be,” you reply lightly, feeling a bit flushed from the unexpected kiss. You quickly withdraw your hand and reach for the glass of champagne. “So, what brings you here tonight, Bok-su? And judging by your attire, you seem to be dressed for a funeral.”

"Your sister said the same thing. I sure was dressed for the right occasion," Bok-su chuckles softly, placing a hand over her mouth to muffle the sound, her eyes never leaving yours. She glances momentarily at the groom, ensuring he remains in her peripheral vision.

You choke on the champagne you were drinking and caught off guard by her comment. You let out a small cough as the liquid goes down the wrong pipe, your cheeks flushing with embarrassment and something else you can't quite place.

"I wasn't expecting that." You say, trying to regain your composure, your voice steadier now. you manage, dabbing at your mouth with a napkin. "So, you're here to stir things up?"

"Maybe." She says, her tone light but her eyes serious, Bok-su tilts her head slightly, studying you with an intensity that would send a shiver down anyone's spine.

You hum thoughtfully in response, swirling your second glass of champagne as you scan the crowd, searching for your sister. The conversation settles into a comfortable silence, the soft hum of the party filling the background.

"You didn't do it," you say, breaking the silence as you continue to gaze at the crowd, your glass still in hand. You can feel Bok-su bristle beside you.

"What?" Bok-su asks, shooting you a disgruntled look. You glance at her from the corner of your eye, her expression unreadable.

"You didn't kill the patient that day," you continue, a sneer creeping onto your face as you finally turn to face her fully. You can see the bafflement in her eyes, though she tries to mask it. "And you're here to take revenge on my sister."

"You've done your homework," she murmurs, her tone both admiring and wary. Bok-su's baffled expression only lasts a moment before she regains her composure, a slow smile spreading across her face.

"It didn't make sense for you to leave university like that," you reply, your tone dripping with a mix of charm and cunning. taking a leisurely sip of your champagne, letting the moment stretch out. "And besides it seems that i will let your plan happen."

"Touché," she replies, her eyes flickering with a mixture of mania and excitement. "It appears that i might have a role for you to play in."

"And who says that i want to join in?" You reply sharply, a frown tugs at the corners of your mouth as you look at her.

"I saw the hatred in your eyes as you looked at your sister," she says calmly, leaning in slightly, her breath grazing in your ear. "Don't you crave a taste of that spotlight, even just a glimmer of fame in your life?"

Her words hit a nerve, and you stiffen, your jaw tightening. “You think you know me so well, don’t you?”

“i know i didn't lie." she says softly, her voice almost a purr. Bok-su’s smile remains, though it’s tinged with a hint of satisfaction. "I just have a feeling you’re tired of cleaning up her messes.”

Her words linger in the air, and despite your attempt to remain composed, you can feel a flicker of doubt within you. The idea of craving recognition, of wanting just a taste of the spotlight, unsettles you more than you care to admit.

“I…” You start, but your voice trails off as you struggle to find the right words.

“Think about it.” she continues, her voice low and persuasive. “You have the intelligence and the charm. Why waste it playing being the second choice?”

You let out a low growl, processing her words, the struggle evident on your face as you wrestle with your emotions. Finally, you let out a reluctant sigh, your resolve hardening. “Alright, you’ve made your point.”

Bok-su’s eyes gleam with satisfaction, but she remains silent, waiting for you to continue.

“You’re right,” you admit, the words tasting bitter but liberating. “I am tired of cleaning up her messes. I want more than just standing in the background while she takes all the credit.”

Bok-su nods, her expression serious. “Then we have a common goal. We can help each other achieve what we want.”

“And what exactly do you propose?” You tilt your head slightly, studying her.

Bok-su steps closer, invading your personal space. Her proximity makes your pulse quicken, and you realize you’ve been holding your breath. You let it out slowly, feeling the warmth of her breath against your throat. Bok-su leans in, her lips almost brushing your ear as she whispers.

“We’re going to make Da-jeong atone.”

𝗔𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱 © 2024 𝗩𝘀𝗸𝗸𝗼𝗹𝘆𝗮𝗮. 𝗣𝗹𝗲𝗮𝘀𝗲 𝗱𝗼 𝗻𝗼𝘁 𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆, 𝗿𝗲𝗽𝗼𝘀𝘁, 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗻𝘀𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗲, 𝗼𝗿 𝗺𝗼𝗱𝗶𝗳𝘆 𝗺𝘆 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝗮𝗻𝘆 𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗺.

[retphienix]

MAJOR shade towards a game I actually really enjoyed and am currently as of typing waiting with minor optimism for the next update which claims to be a "community focused" update based on the critiques laid at them, and I'm only like, 20% sorry- but:

Sometimes I slow down and realize that the most mundane moments in EDF are the EXACT ""Fantasy"" other games claim to be striving for and claim to be perfectly adequately accomplishing in their games.... while they nerf anything that comes close to the power fantasy and fun they claim to already provide and instead make any tool that players want to shred with near worthless because ????

Anyways to be less vague and more direct: Things in EDF are ridiculous and powerful and you are put in situations where you can use that preposterous power to shred hundreds / thousands in some cases / of enemies.

Here we see me just going "You know what, I'm gonna slap on 2 miniguns and shred explosive robots with them" and what happens?

I throw on 2 miniguns and in seconds I feel like the 300 ton steel wall that these pathetic android waves crash upon and fall to the calm waters of the pavement below.

I strafe my aim from left to right and watch an orchestra of destruction play out before me.

I look to the devs and I see a big thumbs up in my direction 👍

They wanted to provide a game that lets you feel the power fantasy of big gun do big thing and when you play said game you get that experience. We shout "E! D! F!" at each other and then no more words are needed.

Meanwhile, another game I really enjoyed and still think is a fantastic game, just one that lost itself fast as hell for seemingly no reason, Helldivers 2, has the devs regularly saying their weapons and outfits and strategems are all in service of a ""Fantasy"".

They repeat it again and again, they say "X stat was adjusted Y direction in order to improve the ""Fantasy"" of the weapon".

And what do they do?

Nerf everything that does anything, give you a heavy machine gun that bounces off enemies, provide explosives that tickle bugs, buff literal mushrooms to be bulletproof because players weren't complaining enough, give you new weapons that are just downgrades of literal day 1 equipment, nerf a popular weapon because of a crossover bug (seriously, and don't ever revert the change), nerf another popular weapon because it worked (literally just worked- not excelled- just worked- it was an adequate anti armor so it had to be nerfed), nerf popular gear instead of taking a closer look at WHY those things are popular and if perhaps enemy behavior needed nerfed instead, buff the enemies repeatedly, provide the enemies with new AI and spawning behaviors that force the bulk of the community to assimilate into the few builds/tools that still work- nerf those tools.

And then gleefully say "We're buffing stuff!" and change insignificant stats that in no way actually impact the game or allow a single new experience to be felt from having used those tools.

And why?

Why did the game start as a fun horde shooter and then a few nerfs later it's a "GRIZZLED DIE WITH A PEASHOOTER IN YOUR HANDS" thing?

Why are we constantly sold the idea that these changes are to support the ""Fantasy"" of the experience when all that's been accomplished is anything that was fun and effective now sucks eggs and enemies are more aggressive than at launch?

Why?

And how do you justify nerfing us and buffing enemies while stripping the identity from all our equipment to be in service of a ""fantasy""?

Your heavy machine guns don't even feel good.

I hope the update is good and don't regret a second I spent playing that game :)

[buckleydiazmp4]

hey, you were saying that you don't think izzy should've died and that you didn't agree with his character arc for reflected upon reasons. is it okay to ask what those reasons are? you just always have interesting opinions about tv and i'd love to know about this one

oh hi! well i'm happy to share my thoughts since you asked so politely lol i just didn't share them earlier bc when there's discourse ppl act so vile sometimes

anyways. izzy hands huh. multi-faceted, complicated, very intense character. let me begin by saying the fact that david jenkins and con o'neill managed to do a total 180 on izzy in terms of how the audience reacted to him between s1 and s2 without fundamentally ruining his character is astounding!! i think the whole point of izzy has always been the fact that he's a man who tends to hold on too tight to the stuff that gives him a semblance of safety (even though that stuff is usually pretty traumatic lol) and across s2 we see him slowly loosening his grip on blackbeard. the fact that it was precisely blackbeard's brutal return that made izzy realize both him and ed were in too deep really just adds to how awesome the writing was this season.

and now, just to clarify: i didn't say i disagreed with his character arc, but with the way it was executed. as in, i think izzy's journey was perfectly well written and acted out by con (please give that man an award), and up until the finale it was actually very well executed!! it's the last plot device that i disagree with.

killing off izzy was a bold choice, and a very common way in which writers both show redemption and pull poignant reactions from the audience, which is ultimately what any show strives for!! for the audience to feel deeply about certain characters or stories. i think ppl have forgotten that and focused so much on wanting everything to be emotionally "clean" and lacking of controversy. guys!! the whole of fiction isn't supposed to cater to everyone!! that's why it's fiction!! it can be manipulated by creators and audience alike and each individual piece is supposed to be different. if you don't like emotional ups and downs in the media you consume that's understandable, but don't condemn the pieces of media that do have it. simply don't watch if you don't like it. i personally like these feelings, the ugly, and the dirty, and the unfair, and the painful, the human!!! it's part of the experience and they did it well this season.

even with that in mind though, i think death was only one of the many options through which they could've symbolized izzy finally letting go of blackbeard and the toxicity that name represented for all of them. i get how 'i wanna go' as a show of the deliberate decision izzy is making to escape from the emotional turmoil of ruthless piracy is trying to make his death seem like a way for him to rest, but. it's a pretty definitive rest and i think it wouldn't have been necessary, considering that one of the main things izzy learns this season is that you can spend years in a terrible environment but it's still never too late to pursue something softer for yourself and for the people you love. he says it, too: 'it's about belonging'.

as much as it is understandable to have wanted to take the way of the tragic and unexpected, for the sake of impact and to heighten the significance of what izzy has become this season, it would've been nice to see him stare at a long, happy future with the new family he's acquired aboard the revenge. ed let go of blackbeard without it meaning he had to renounce to the rest of his life for it, why couldn't izzy? it would've been wonderful to see all those years of life experience as a pirate reconcile with the reality that they're not dependent on isolating yourself from others. for izzy to have become captain, or even frenchie's first mate, would've been an excellent seal to his story, even leaving a future full of possibility to further explore how his character gets acquainted with his new way of looking at the world.

izzy put it that way: it is about letting go of ego for something larger. and his death can mean many things simultaneously, but it can also mean that without his ego he couldn't live. which. i do disagree with, so.

i don't know!!! i just think about it many different ways!! like in this post specifically i chose to see it under a different light than what i'm currently writing, and neither of those opinions cancel each other out; they can coexist!! that's the fun thing about fictional media interpretation!! it's also why we have devices like fanfiction and fanart and meta!! the fact that something played out in a specific way on screen doesn't mean it's set in stone as something good or bad, there are always shades of grey.

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

BAND OF BROTHERS TERROR AU. TELL ME. NOWWWW

OK!!!! I'm not going to put everything in here because I don't want this post to end up HUGE (EDIT: this post ended up massive anyway), so I'll talk about the main components and some stuff I like, and if people want me to go more in-depth and discuss other side characters I will.

Tagging people who commented on the original post in case y'all want to read @latibvles @fearlessjones

Herbert Sobel is the original captain of HMS Erebus - he is the Sir John Franklin figure, he's incompetent, and whilst many of his higher-ups know he is ultimately not suited to such an expedition, they let him lead anyway because they like him, and they hope he will finally get some glory amongst all his failure. However, perhaps his key flaw is his keen dislike for the captain of the HMS Terror, Richard Winters.

Ok, I KNOWWWW people are gonna think that Nixon would be a better fit for this role, because he arguably resembles Crozier much more, but WAIT. For those of you who haven't read the book, it is said that the HMS Erebus has absolutely NO alcohol in its stores because Franklin does not drink. If this is the case here too, and Lewis Nixon is stuck as Sobel's commander, this will send him insane over time. Nixon and Winters are very competent leaders, so for this AU to work I need to break them, and what better way than to weaken Nix from months of withdrawal at sea with Captain Fucking Sobel? Combine this with Winters refusal to indulge him with his own alcohol stores, and now there's a wedge driven between the two before they're even stranded.

But even so, Winters needs something that will impede his own leadership, and for him, I think that's his sense of responsibility for his men. Winters is always striving to find a solution that will cause the least amount of damage to his men - he wants them safe, and he doesn't care if they have to turn this ship around and head home to do it. But he can't. By the time they get stuck in the ice, there is no possible solution he can come up with that won't result in his men's suffering or even loss of life, and this leaves him jaded, wearing him down as the situation becomes even more dire and he has to watch more and more of his men killed by the cold, sickness, and the Tuunbaq. This will get to him, and it will impede his ability to think rationally.

Right, now for the Lieutenants. On HMS Terror, you have First Lieutenant Harry Welsh, Second Lieutenant Buck Compton, and Third Lieutenant Henry Jones. Whilst Welsh and Compton are very competent, much like their captain, Jones has risen through the ranks due to little more than wealth and connections. Whilst he could not purchase his commission, his family manage to pull the right strings, and now he's here with very little experience and absolutely NO respect from the men, already making way for the system of leadership to be undermined before things ever get serious.

On the HMS Erebus, Captain Sobel (And eventually Captain Nixon, once Sobel is killed) have First and Second Lieutenants Ronald Speirs and Carwood Lipton. These two are excellent in a crisis, and when the crew becomes despaired as Sobel's incompetency and Nixon's declining health as a result of his withdrawal, they are given the heavy burden of trying to raise morale and keep the men's trust as the situation grows ever more dire.

Chief Surgeon of the HMS Terror Eugene Roe has gotten a lotttt more than he bargained for with this expedition. Yes, he takes his job seriously, and yes, he came here to help people, but more than anything he just wanted to be a part of something real, to see the Passage with his own eyes and know he had helped to make a difference. But now his surgery is crammed with victims of the Tuunbaq and men displaying very unusual symptoms that he doesn't quite understand. He's losing sleep and he's losing hope, and he doesn't know quite how to cope with the knowledge that he isn't as good as he thought, and he truly cannot save these men.

Captain's Steward David Webster believes he's made for more than this. He's educated, no small feat when half the men on the Terror can scarcely even read, and he feels his skills are wasted running around after Captain Winters. But he comes from a high-ranking Naval family, and if he ever wants to make something of himself there's little option but to work his way through it unless he wants to be stuck doing this forever. As time passes, he begins to grow bitter at his position, which is why when Caulker Roy Cobb begins disparaging Winters' leadership, his words begin to make sense to Webster.

I've planned roles for all of the notable characters in BoB but I do not want to write a fucking novel on this post, so please let me know if you want to see more!

[scarlet--wiccan]

If you were to write a What If? story with Wanda and/or any of the Maximoffs what would the premise be? And what kind of cool stuff would you do for her?

I've got a few ideas. Some of these are kind of basic...

What if Wanda and Pietro had joined the X-Men? It's been done before, but I'm mostly interested in bringing Wanda closer to Illyana and Madelyne. They have a lot of common experiences and similar trauma, and they all tend to be polarizing figures. What would it look like if the three of them were striving together for liberation and freedom-- what lengths would they go to, and who would oppose them?

What if Natalya had saved Wanda and Pietro from the High Evolutionary? Growing up as the Scarlet Witch's successors, they would have been prepared to confront Chthon much earlier. What if they took back Mount Wundagore and turned it into a magical sanctuary, with Pietro leading the Knights? Would that bring them into conflict with Agatha, or would she be their ally?

What if Wanda had joined forces with Victoria Montessi and the Darkhold Redeemers? Kind of the opposite of the last one, I imagine Wanda sacrificing her chaos magic abilities to banish Chthon. Where does she go from there?

What if Billy and Tommy had never died and were raised by Wanda and the Vision? House of M wouldn't have happened, for one thing, and the Young Avengers probably wouldn't exist. I imagine the twins striking out as young superheroes with their cousin Luna, who would be sort of older sister figure since she was born first, and there's no retro-reincarnation...

What if Billy and Tommy were synthezoids? How would you translate their canon powers and personalities in that setting? I think Tommy would be better at flight and density manipulation while Billy would excel at holograms and solar energy projection.

... but I've got a couple that are more fleshed out.

What if Wanda had gone through with marrying Doctor Doom? The basis of their canon relationship is not really healthy or consensual, but I do think these characters have a lot in common, and we've seen that Wanda, with her memories and agency, is more than capable of keeping Victor in line. Introducing Wanda to Latveria's political sphere would be super interesting, and I think that Victor would be very earnest in protecting her and her family. Billy and Tommy would be made princes, and I like to imagine Pietro becoming Doom's Herald and receiving the Power Cosmic instead of Zora. Maybe he and Zora could have a little fling? I feel like they actually have really compatible personalities.

On a more serious note, what would it look like if Victor and Wanda had worked together to uncover the true Darkhold and bind Chthon? Imagine how powerful Latveria would become with an emancipated Wanda as its queen-- and all of the personal and moral challenges that would present to her. But with Latveria becoming such a major power, Billy's marriage to Teddy would unite Latveria with the Kree and Skrull peoples, which could get all kinds of complicated. A lot of people have done the political space-marriage thing with HoM AUs, so it's not a new concept, but it is a fresh angle.

What if Wanda had channelled the Phoenix to resurrect her sons? Walk with me here-- let's assume for this AU that the Maximoffs are mutants. This idea originated as a way to streamline the events of the late 2000s and early 2010s, and end the Decimation saga with Wanda's name cleared and the mutants in a more stable position.

Wanda is immediately overwhelmed and goes Dark Phoenix-- and in the ensuing battle, Pietro is killed trying to protect her. Wanda resurrects him, and, in a state of rage, unleashes the Decimation before disappearing. The events of Young Avengers and Son of M follow as they did in canon, but this time, Billy, Tommy, and Pietro are all harboring a shard of the Phoenix Force. When they eventually find Wanda in Latveria, she regains her memories, and they become the Phoenix Four. The events of Children's Crusade lead directly an AvX scenario, with the Avengers and X-Men vying to either eliminate or control the Maximoff family, who only want to use their power the fix the damage Wanda caused in the first place. Eventually, Hope steps up and helps Wanda dispel the Phoenix for good, and in doing so, reverses the Decimation completely. Then everything gets to be, like, relatively normal until Krakoa.

[tewwor]

——— BASICS ! ♡

NICKNAME : ro, kc, etc.

PRONOUNS : she/they

ZODIAC SIGN : taurus

TAKEN OR SINGLE : taken

——— THREE FACTS ! ♡

i developed a good amount of scar tissue in my ankles back in high school because i kept twisting them so often :) yes, i was a part of cross country / track the entire 4 years :) yes, i did twist both my ankles during running camp :) :)

i have stupid good hearing, and it drives me up a wall to hear things that most of my friends cannot hear. who, coincidentally, are mostly hard of hearing to some degree so it's just over stimulated hell & ear plug city over here ( i am suffering )

i... do have a bachelors in fine arts....... the thought of paint thinner, any paint types, specific smells of cleaning solutions and orange scented oils give me immediate flashbacks to art classes in the most feral way possible. have i put my degree to use professionally? absolutely not. im in accounting, go figure.

——— EXPERIENCE ! ♡

y'all... i have no clue and i'd like to keep it that way. i started rping probably way too early online. was my starting point when spn was at it's peak? yes, please don't bring it up ( cries ). have i met at least 1 lifelong friend that i have, and continue to be, friends with for 10+ years? yes. his parents love me and they're so sweet and he bullies me in game because we both suck at them. anyways, tunglr's a shitshow but writing silly things on here makes it worth it

——— MUSE PREFERENCE ! ♡

for muses i prefer to write? THE silent and wrath filled type ( each one lacks more and more restraint ), Pathetic Man™, that one cartoonish annoying but posh / socialite-esque personality & impeccably dressed figure, himbo and heavy on the dumb aspect, 'i'm so totally normal and not a weird fucked up obscure creature', wet creaturesTM, the 'oh no, i can help! but i will then immediately need help right after!', the 'i just wanna have fun and get random people into the weirdest shit possible' thrill seekers, That One Man That Shall Not Be Named Lest He Appear Like A Dream Paralysis Demon, that one idiotic dog that keeps biting people, sweetest... most uncertain and self-conscious man ever..., and of course - eldritch horror creature dating simTM

for muses i write again? Morally Grey, feral characters with so much backstory it really does wind me, silly......, creatures, just a human in a very supernatural situation, rays of sunshine, mean mfers.., well intentioned but comically comes in at the worst time possible, complex like it's the ny times crossword ( i am very bad at these ), came back Wrong, MisunderstoodTM but for good reason, etc.

——— FLUFF / ANGST / SMUT ! ♡

FLUFF : goes so well with silliness, excellent balm for the soul, love it!

ANGST : bread and butter........ brick and mortar... required for me and my characters to strive... hurts so good, 100/10, always need more

SMUT : just dipping my pinky toe in it! still rather low on the types of threads i get the most consistent muse for, but it's there.... lingering.. waiting.......

PLOT / MEMES : always down for both, but i do tend to hop from one side to another. sometimes my brain favors plots. other times it's all about memes.

tagged by: i stolt it from someone

tagging: EVERYONE. idc if we just became mutuals, or we've been mutuals, i wanna know so tag me.

[wejustvibing]

Hello again!

Sorry for being in here so much! I wanted to ask your opinion on something about Lewis and his interactions with people he is interviewed by or who he meets for the first time. What i mean is, when Lewis met Takashi Murkami and he described him as a nugget of love or something of those words or when the Mercedes E Sports boys met Lewis and Marcel said meeting Lewis is like an experience you can’t put into words (again im not sure of his exact words) what do you think it is about Lewis that makes people feel that way? Because no offence, i don’t often see anyone else being spoken about in this manner, so I wonder what it is about Lewis that has people feeling this way. And in your opinion, why do you think, despite this, people still want to call his character into question and imply or blatantly say he is the opposite of what so many other people have said he is?

I also would like to ask, what are a couple of things about Lewis that you appreciate?

Have a good day!

hey you! sorry for getting to this so late. i needed a breather. yes!!! people's reaction to meeting him is my absolute favorite thing. the way murakami has described him is a masterpiece in itself. it's so overwhelmingly priceless. he must be magic, this guy <3

well i've never met him so it wouldn't be right for me to try and guess the feeling or vouch for any of these experiences. at least not without bringing out my inner parasocial crazies. but in my opinion, aside from the obvious personality and aura, he's highly intuitive and excellent at reading energies around him and more often than not he reflects them back, probably drawing people in. he's super respectful and attentive when they're engaging him which must be refreshing. also he never ever does what's expected of him—including expectations based on perceptions, media reports or hearsay that always paint him a certain way. it probably surprises them the most i guess?

i appreciate and love a whole lotta things about him but let me try and stick to the topic and context here. i love that he is compassionate and often tries to show it through actions. he will ask interviewers about their day or lives, in a curious yet respectful way. will try to make them feel comfortable by being calm and soft-spoken. will try to make time for fans and not just through sheer obligation. i like that he's intentional with every single thing he does in public eye. it comes from hard learned lessons i'm sure and must take a whole team of people to make it work so well. but i love it, especially when you know the level of unnecessary scrutiny he faces.

i love the fact that he's not perfect. don't think i'd be a fan if he was. as someone learning to live with maladaptive perfectionism i take solace sometimes knowing it's okay to be less than perfect and it's okay to learn and improve, it's okay to keep striving in ways that might never reach perfection. you're allowed to be wrong and you can always be/do better the next time. i love it when he's spontaneous, lets out normal human emotions and passionate reactions. i love that he's one petty mf if and when he decides to be. love that he's always curious and ready to learn. he's not afraid of expressing himself, being himself (anymore), i really admire that. he could have easily gotten jaded by now with the amount of success as well as negativity but instead he's elevated himself beyond both and has nurtured his heart to be the best version of himself and enjoy the journey he's on.

but, one thing that i love the most about him is how easy he makes everything look. if there's one thing about him it's that he is going to make everything look effortless—hard work, driving, winning, success, fashion, attitude, reaction to criticism & hate, and most of all living (and living rent free in so many heads). it's probably what pisses some people off too. must need heaps of discipline, focus and strength to achieve it. but he does it anyway and you have to appreciate that.

[gryffindorpsychologyandcoffee]

Hii!

I'm an undergrad psych student that dreams to be where you are in the future (studying clinical psych)!

I'm striving to be a psychologist but I've heard how competitive it is. As someone who is in postgrad, I was wondering if you'd be okay giving some advice, what scores you had to get in ungrads and honours, what volunteering you maybe did and how postgrad life is!!

♡

Hey! It’s so awesome that you want to go into clinical psych!

I went to a pretty competitive university for undergrad and majored in Psychology with a minor in Disability studies. I ended up with a 3.8 major and overall GPA and graduated Magna Cum Laude. I worked as a FWS student on a clinical trial that focused on helping people with intellectual disabilities access mental health care as well as some odd jobs here and there. I also volunteered at my state department of mental health during the summers while I was home from school and with the National Counsel for Mental Wellbeing as a state captain for Hill Day.

I applied to a small college in my hometown for Postgrad because I wanted the small college feel and it is a really reputable program whose grads see a lot of success. I got in and I absolutely love it. The program has wonderful professors and they are really focused on graduating strong therapists. I will be a masters level Licensed Professional Counselor when I graduate in May 2025.

My advice for you is to find a place to volunteer at that will get you some good hours and face time with the right people. You don’t have to always be doing psychology related things with them. When I volunteered for DMH, I helped with their mental health conference and with Santa’s helpers which purchased presents for kids of patients at the center. I wasn’t always doing psychology stuff but I made some really strong connections and they wrote me excellent letters of recommendation. I wish I had gotten more acquainted with my professors in undergrad but it was hard because I went to such a large school. Find the people who value you and your work and they will give back by writing you glowing recommendations which go a long way in the application process. The more you volunteer and get experience, the more you’ll have to write about in your admissions essay, which I think carried me through the process.

Post grad is hard but it’s focused on what you love and is training you for your dream career. It’s worth every minute. Get as much experience as you can, clinical or not, so you make those connections and get to know people who have influence in different areas. Keep doing what you’re doing! We need people like you in our field! Hope this helps!

[illogarithmil]

I've not really played Minecraft in half a decade+, when all the worlds on my old account stopped loading. That said, I think the reason I still periodically go back to it (either as idle interest in changes or to actually play when I'm too tired to do anything else) where I don't with pretty much any other video game isn't just the checks notes third of my life when it was competing with Warhammer as my main fandom - it's something about it as a game that does things nothing else does.

By way of comparison, the only other computer game I play is CK3. But if I want to experience that kind of genre and focus, I can read any of a slew of historical chronicles or especially great-man-y works of actual history;* or I can turn to mediaeval historical fiction; play a dynasty-building board game like Blood Royale or a medieval strategic wargame map campaign; there's even some TTRPGs that capture the human-scale part of it, though I do think mediaeval high politics is a genre that could be explored more there outside Pendragon.

What's doing the same things Minecraft does? That vast procedural world, all but empty except for you, a few other humans bizarrely different from you, and an enormous number of monsters, many of them humanoid undead; the ruins and lost realms and other dimensions, the general sense that amidst all the endless randomness things have been built before and the encouragement to do so again? The very specific magic (magic as something anybody can make with the right, very expensive ingredients, but which you certainly can't wield willy-nilly). The constant striving for resources, especially through the early game. The ridiculous, deliberate gaminess of it all, the willingness to completely waive any attempt at simulation in favour of links which still intuitively make sense (diamonds are hard, obviously they make the best armour!) The monster design, which is full of unique and bizarre things that I really wish I could steal for D&D campaigns without anybody noticing. Probably the closest thing is actually early D&D, with the players venturing into a vast, hostile wilderness to survive random encounters, make their fortunes, and ultimately rise to lordship of the land; possibly in one of its OSR variants that replaces classes with item choices, like the excellent Iron Halberd. But even there, it's very clearly a different genre which happens to rhyme. And if you try to do something similar outside the medium of a game, in a novel, say, somewhere where the deliberate abstraction from the normal rules of reality isn't taken for granted... as far as I can see, it'd read either as constructed mythology or minecraft fanfic depending on the author's skill.

I think this probably account's for the game's continued popularity to some extent, and certainly it accounts for my own continued interest. *Once I'd have said 'any work of mediaeval history published before 1920' but Burt & Partington's Arise, England! is like this and was published a couple of months ago...

[bloodandpotionsrp]

Meet Me! Da Masterpost

Ask Box: Open

Art by yours truly under @haruhiheart

Haru

Essential Information

Age: 26 (estimated)

Blood Type A+

Astrological signs: Virgo Sun, Cancer Moon, Scorpio Rising

September Birthday

MBTI: INFP

Enneagram: 4w5

Gender: None. They/Them.

Quick Summary

Highly ambitious from a very young age and raised by noble parents, they strive to excel in everything they do. When mortal distractions didn't satisfy them anymore, they turned to the occult and witchcraft. A ritual gone wrong has drawn the attention of the church and got them arrested on charges of Heresy and Witchcraft.

This event has left a mark on Haru's psyche. Despite being spared from being burned at the stake and sent to the Sakamaki family as a sacrificial spouse instead, the weight of their failed ritual still lingers, leaving them with a feeling of inadequacy and vengeful anger they compensate with a tough and confident façade.

Relationships

Laito Sakamaki

Interactions loosely based on the events of Haunted Dark Bridal. It doesn't take much time for Haru to see through Laito's bullshit. They've seen it too many times in high society and now is only bothered by his lack of manners when it comes to courting. That being said, they are far from unaffected by his charms in spite of playing hard to get. Only after much fighting and understanding to they go crazy for one another.

Other Relationships

@bluerosethornrp A best friend in all universes. Guest appearances? Often, most likely.

TRIVIA TIME

Haru is pretty comfortable with physical intimacy until feelings are involved. Then they're like a deer in headlights.

Their favorite food is Red Velvet Cake

Haru enjoys discoveries. It doesn't matter if the learning is practical or not. New experiences gives them intense joy.

Bones. All the bones. Scarily efficient at cleaning them.

Smells like incense.

Has memorized the first 62 decimals of Euler's number.

Playlist

Rules

I have a tough skin, I'll engage with most things thrown at me. BUT I still can delete if it makes me feel uncomfortable.

Relating to number 1, don't be a dick. If you are, you'll be blocked. If you're in anon, I'll find you AND block you.

No shame. Willing to do NSFW here on my blog. If you don't want that, give me a heads up before starting and we'll talk in the DMs.

Speaking of DMs, talk to me. If you want to talk art, hit me up at @haruhiheart

Any are welcome here. OC, Canon, Anon, Randos... I'm game.

Be patient with me. I don't know Diabolik Lovers all that well yet and may struggle at times. Thank you.

[thestylishlifeguide]

Fueling My Fitness Journey: A Review of Whey Protein

Rating: ★★★★☆

Whey protein has become an indispensable part of my daily routine as I strive to maintain a healthy and active lifestyle. Over the past few months, I've been using whey protein supplements from various brands, and I'm eager to share my thoughts and experiences in this review.

Taste and Mixability: ★★★★☆ One of the most important factors for me when it comes to whey protein is taste. The whey protein powders I've tried generally taste quite pleasant, with a wide variety of flavors available, from classic chocolate and vanilla to more adventurous options like cookies and cream or salted caramel. While the taste is generally good, there can be slight variations in sweetness and flavor intensity between brands and flavors.

Mixability is also a key consideration, and most whey protein powders mix effortlessly with both water and milk. There are rarely any issues with clumps or residue, making it convenient for on-the-go consumption.

Protein Content and Quality: ★★★★★ Whey protein is renowned for its high-quality protein content, and it lives up to its reputation. It's an excellent source of essential amino acids, particularly branched-chain amino acids (BCAAs), which are crucial for muscle recovery and growth. The protein content is typically around 20-25 grams per serving, which is perfect for supplementing my daily protein intake, especially after intense workouts.

Digestibility: ★★★★★ I've experienced no digestive issues or discomfort when consuming whey protein, which is crucial for anyone with a sensitive stomach. This protein source is usually well-tolerated, and it doesn't leave me feeling bloated or gassy.

Effectiveness: ★★★★☆ Incorporating whey protein into my fitness regimen has noticeably enhanced my recovery and muscle development. My energy levels during workouts have improved, and I experience less post-workout soreness. However, it's important to note that the effectiveness of whey protein can vary from person to person, and results may depend on factors like diet, exercise routine, and overall health.

Price: ★★★☆☆ The cost of whey protein supplements can vary significantly, depending on the brand, flavor, and packaging size. While some options are more affordable, others can be quite expensive. It's essential to find a product that fits your budget while still meeting your nutritional needs.

Conclusion: Whey protein is a versatile and effective supplement for individuals looking to support their fitness goals, whether it's muscle building, weight management, or overall health. Its high protein content, excellent amino acid profile, and easy digestibility make it a top choice for many. While the taste and price can vary, there's no denying the positive impact it can have on your fitness journey. I recommend trying different brands and flavors to find the one that suits your taste buds and budget best. Whey protein has certainly earned its place in my daily routine, and I look forward to continued gains and progress with its help.

if you want to embark on your fitness journey click here

[lvnarsapphic]

You reblog a lot of pretty art! Any tips for finding good art blogs? I’m not the best at curating my dash yet

I'm doing blogging well, I'm getting a good grade in Tumblr

But if you want a real answer, I'll give you one... Under the cut because I love to ramble about meta stuff and my particular methods of doing things. I hope you never have to read my lab reports.

Best way to find stuff you like is to dive into the tags of things you like and follow anyone who makes something you like on a semi-regular basis. Find out who they reblog from and who the original posters are and follow those people as well, given you like their vibe (more on this later). I generally avoid following the big repost accounts because they find their way onto my dash no matter what cause other people follow them and therefore anything I see has already gone through one filter of aesthetic appreciation.

The reblog function of Tumblr is core to your experience on the site and its best and most notable feature. That is why the entire site is built around this feature and updates that aren't uplifting or capitalizing on its use do extremely poorly (live, mart, and TV). I say this because the filter of the endless amount of stuff on Tumblr that reblogs from the people you follow, gives you the ability to shape your experience of this site. If you don't follow the right people to cultivate the kind of experience you want, or to see and talk to the people you enjoy, the site's appeal and functionally falls apart.

My initial method (as explained above) was to follow everyone and everything that remotely seemed within my areas of interest. I have since refined it to something I could (theoretically) plug into Excel if I was bored enough. This is possible for no reason other than I'm autistic, love to use Excel, make things into a definite process, and then excessively math something out (with some number fudging), more than I ever really needed to. I won't detail it here because it's a floating set of ideas in my head and not a hard and fast list of things I'm genuinely looking for. I will say that my prior following escapades from when I started out on Tumblr have made me reach a follow count of more than 3,000. However, within the last month and half, I've followed maybe two new blogs out of genuine interest, rather than a mutual recreating or having a side blog I had meant to follow for a while but forgot/didn't know about but should have. I mentioned the number fudging didn't I?

I kept this vague, of looking at the "vibe" of someone's blog, because it really is just based on your tastes and who you follow and who you want to follow. I will look through someone's blog for a long while before just clicking off, because I know I don't want to see more of their blog than the infrequent amount I see. I look through these blogs I half follow when someone I follow reblogs their stuff or if they're in my activity. I'll like some posts, reblog others, and then I'm off. If the vibes don't fit, I don't follow. You and I have different vibes despite you enjoying the art I post, as evident by the very act of sending this ask. This isn't a dig at you, nor is it saying I can guess your whole personality cause that would be idiotic. But, I don't imagine you were expecting this long of an answer, especially this late.

I'm glad you enjoy what I post though. I know I do. Half the time I spend on the app is spent going through my own posts and activity because I enjoy seeing what people liked which of my posts. I hope this was helpful in some manner to you. Maybe you will post the right stuff or reblog the right stuff from me that would make me follow you back. Actually, that isn't something worth striving for. Honestly, that sounds a little sad to hope some blogger you do not know follows you back. Though I kind of just thrust that want onto you, so I don't think that is representative of something you actually care about. Sorry that's a weird thing to leave on but I have nothing else to say.

Good luck blogging... I guess?

[little-forget-me-not]

Martivirhlar the clanless heretic

Name: Martivir (peace) hlar (roar) aka "Marti"

Class: Bardbarian

White ESFP dragonborn who's in his mid-30s, spent his life kinda suppressed by his family (lmao once again a character who is very different from their family to the point where they have to leave to find a place). He's more peace-and-music-loving, jolly and spontaneous/adventurous. Meanwhile his clan is more ambitious/solemn/vicious (power!) etc. He couldn't leave on his own because he would be branded a traitor and they would hunt him down to kill him. So he basically waited it out until they banished him and he could go free.

So he's kinda happy to wander the world and experience life to its fullest, making merry and making up for his lost childhood years. His clan heritage lives on in him still though, because he's really strong and good at brawling (and killing I guess). Until he got sucked up by a mindflayer ship.

He's reckless and spontaneous, jumping headfirst into everything before considering if it's a good idea or not (Barbarian fits him lol). He likes making merry, gambling, drinking, music. He's extremely curious and loves knowing secrets and seeking entertainment. He can't help but pry open a cursed book that is clearly dripping with evil. He can be impatient and aggressive, though he tries to curb his learned nature. He does love to brawl, and he does enjoy fighting. His clan left him with a warped understanding of peace though. Beating someone unconscious is considered peaceful when the alternative would be brutal dismemberment.

He has a restless sort of soul, always seeking and searching...but for what, he does not know. Like most dragonborns who tend to have one specific thing they care very much about and they will strive for excellence and mastery over it, Marti has it too...his charge, his purpose. I'm not sure what that is for him yet. Maybe music? He started learning it once he left.

For the most part, he's bold and brash, charming and a little superficial on the surface, but he's also compassionate, certainly much more than his clan and can be gentle when he needs to be. Not necessarily morally "good", but he certainly has a big heart.

---

He's travelling with a human monk (first named Punch > Torchman > Torvik > Torvin) who has a single-minded, overzealous obsession with becoming the next successor of his monastery. He's quite a bland man with a rigid sense of what is right and wrong/good or bad (Mero says he has yet to "unbland" himself hahahaha). He revels in harsh and intense training to steel his core and purify his chi (so yes having sex with lae'zel is also "training", sure). His favourite weapon of choice is the torch. Two torches actually. He lights up the dark running around with 2 flaming torches like an olympic runner. To fulfill his role as successor, he has to venture the outside world, assist those in need with what is taught to him, and learn what it means to be a true successor. Before he is also caught by a mindflayer ship lol.

Together, they are travelling to find a cure so that they don't die.

(we both had 1hp left and we were like let's punch each other and see who goes down first and in sync both our punches landed simultaneously and we both collapsed at the same time into such beautiful positions poetic..)

[frillyshonenjump]

Manga Review: My Hero Academia

man...

coming back to this manga in particular over the past couple weeks was something truly special.

so like, short story but my hero started publication back right when i started high school, so i felt like i grew up with this one; those early days of the story really hyped me up and got me through the first few years of school then. but...life happened and i dropped it somewhere around kamino arc!

i wanted to do it justice by revisiting it again and fully catching up, doing what past me struggled to do. and honestly? even with the backlash of some critics regarding what is now considered WSJ's golden child, i still say it has continued to hold up and carry the magazine.

not as excellently as it did back then...but in these final bursts of the story, it's still pretty great.

(spoiler-free review! will make references to later arcs by name alone.)

firstly, i think it's important to note how STRONGLY this series starts off. few comics and manga have the strength to start so well and with such a bang that it hooks in millions into what is essentially a coming-of-age story in a world of superheroes. until MHA, using a very westernized ideal of superheroes and supervillains did not seem to run as rampant as it does now but it is done in such a vibrant and colorful world with equally vibrant and colorful characters that it just feels SO FUN. i was on the edge of my seat for every arc the entire way.

now, from what i've seen and listened to from several retrospectives is that the one thing that has most people losing their love for this series is the late-game story.

i unfortunately can see where people are coming from when they say so: the super, SUPER high quality artwork and detailing has slightly and noticeably changed (it is most noticeable before the Final War, but when said arc starts it's harder to notice), story pacing has sped up, often waaaaay too fast in some beats, and even major plot points and characters aren't as satisfying or as consistent as they should be (there is a specific character in the Final War who fell off pretty hard but will not be named for spoiler reasons—those who read likely know who i'm talking about.) i wish these problems weren't so glaring near the end, but they haven't dampened my enjoyment of the series as much as it has for others. that said, they're the reason for a considerable steer in direction for the manga that cannot be ignored.

chapters read: 379 (ongoing)

first impression rating: 5/5

continuation rating: 3.5/5

things i liked:

the overall art style. Kohei Horikoshi's work is one of my biggest inspirations since i was a teen, and with this being his third manga, he's put a lot of his experience to the test and pushed the limits of what a manga can portray in terms of story and work. there's hardly a page or spread where i can look at it and say it's low quality; he and his assistants go above and beyond in terms of detailing, paneling, and brush work.

the character designs!! it's so fun and exciting to meet new characters in this series and often seeing how their quirks reflect in their appearance and costumes.

things i disliked:

late-game pacing, especially in between the liberation arc and the final war arc. meta-wise there must have been some issues going on behind the scenes, or horikoshi just chose not to write some segments, because some events happened way too fast to warrant it, or some events get skipped over completely between chapters. in some cases it was quite jarring and hard to just skip over with the characters.

the characterization of some notable figures. some seemed inconsistent especially late-game and had me confused as to why some choices were made by them, even if it was still a game-shaking moment.

overall, there is and still is a reason why MHA is what people consider "overrated" now and why it's so hyped up; it's all the pizzazz a shonen jump manga strives to be in normal formula, while at the same time having elements that feel fresh and unique. it is STILL worth picking up to this day and while it's starting to near the end with some sputters, i still have high hopes for what is to come.

[thisisnotjh]

I quit my corporate job.

I've been working for the past five years as a public accountant and it's just this year that I decided to take a break. I quit my job and went back to my hometown to reconnect with the person I was before my life became this hectic.

All my life I've always strived to be successful in a lot of things. At a young age, I was taught to believe that my achievements defined me. I didn't know that years later that would fuck me up.

The fear of failure grew much larger and stronger than my ability to keep up with the hunger to prove myself through what I can and can't do, especially at work. I didn't think that it would slowly shift my belief to an entirely different level of self-sabotage.

I became persistent to excel at my job and give more than what my mind could take until I started getting sick, skipping meals, and developing numerous body discomfort due to bad posture, staying seated for hours on end hunched over my laptop trying to meet impossible deadlines for my clients. I was hospitalized thrice last year, excluding all the times I tried to just take the day off at home even when my body felt like giving up.

It was the worst time for my physical health ever.

I started my job at a new company while still trying to recover from contracting the COVID-19 virus, and still I pushed through the employment, packed up my things and moved to a different city, because I thought this was my only chance, my only opportunity given the experience I'm trying to build and career path that I was slowly creating for myself. I couldn't let it slip away, but I've come to know, at what cost?

Nobody would ever prepare you for the life away from everything you've felt comfortable and easy. The loneliness of showing up to my soul-sucking job everyday for the fear of not being able to sustain myself and my family took a toll on my mental health. What my body was experiencing during times of stress at work was magnified by the constant back and forth of trying to weigh in on quitting and giving myself that peace of mind it's been longing for or die penniless, literally and figuratively.

I don't know what I'm going to do now.

I've got job offers from other companies but I'm not sure if I'm ready to put myself out there again, after such an exhausting struggle to get out of the system and let myself breathe for the first time in a while.

I don't know.