#but it is a typically aroace feeling/issue

[space-ninja-fashion-show]

Having a Wonderful time deciding that actually in my verse, platonic life partners/platonic marriage is a widespread and widely accepted thing just bc i want it to be

[alastors-antlers]

Being someone who sees a lot of talk about shipping Alastor (sexually, romantically) in fanworks, I just want to take some time to talk about both sides of the issue. It's long, I know - please, please bear with me until the end, and I hope you'll understand what I mean in a bit.

I hope this helps someone, but as an aroace person who understands the frustration and hurt, this is often how it feels to me:

Alastor, being one of the limited cases of aspec rep that I've seen and one of even fewer which I actually enjoyed, means a lot to me.

That being said, his canon rep establishes that he's aroace but not much about how this factors into his life or relationships at all -- and when there's a gap in canon, I turn to fanfiction, which tends to spotlight characters' queerness even when the source material doesn't or can't. Don't we all want to see ourselves in the media we engage with?

When I pull up AO3, there are already a good number of fics about him. Great! Some of them are definitely incredible; but as I read on, it starts to seem like a lot of fics I see acknowledge that he's asexual or aromantic in some way but don't really factor that into the story. It reads like you could have written the story without keeping his queer identity in mind, and it would've come out the same.

Even when representation that does resonate with me exists, it starts to be exhausting to pick through the slash tags to see which ones are written in an aspec-coded way, so I wonder if it would be easier to not read anything with slash at all. On the other hand, when you filter ships out completely, only a tiny fraction of the fanworks are left.

People often respond that aspec people can have relationships, and I think we tend to know that. They can have sex, some can experience sexual attraction in select situations, they can romance others beyond romantic attraction -- any combination of things. But some aroace people don't want either, and sometimes we're struggling to see ourselves in how Alastor is typically portrayed.

Out of all of the fics, sex-repulsed, totally aromantic Alastor isn't seen much. And when Alastor's limited canon seems to be pretty supportive of a reading where he is those things...

Sometimes, you start to feel lost. If fics were evenly distributed along the aroace spectrum of experiences, wouldn't you expect more fics of him being the "totally uninterested" brand of aroace? But there aren't. People seem to have a preference toward seeing him in relationships. Even if they mean well, it can make you think: what does that say about how we view asexuality/aromanticism as a whole?

Is there something less interesting about Alastor, when romance is taken out of the picture? Do others find him less appealing as a character if they can't see him dating, or in love, or having sex or wanting it? Why do we need romance, when romance is already everywhere else, when it doesn't even feel like he was originally really interested? It brings to mind a struggle to be societally accepted, even today.

Even when it's not technically wrong to write Alastor as you see him, being told that we should all be able to ship him however we want can feel like this:

It brings to mind people who try to swing in with misinformed good intentions, telling us "oh, you're aromantic? but you can still have romantic relationships, right? so you can still be normal." when all we want is to be okay outside of the normal.

Or trying to find a partner who can be with us, out of everyone who tells us "I know you don't enjoy sex, and that's okay, but I can't have a romantic relationship with you without it." and being so tired of hoping for someone who gets it.

Or talking with peers, and hearing them all commiserate and fawn over their experiences with love, then telling them about someone you like non-romantically and getting "aww, it sounds like somebody's got a crush!" but not being believed when you tell them it's not like that at all.

Alastor is not a big deal, not really, not in the grand scheme of things. But in an allonormative world, it can feel like a sudden splash of cold water when we were expecting a warm fire to sit around. Even within this ecosystem, we squint to see ourselves reflected.

Society isn't built for us. It can be exhausting to be reminded of that.

~~~

I hope to support people writing Alastor as any variation of aspec, or not even aspec at all. At the end of the day, I think that fanon is really whatever you want it to be, and everyone has their own reasons for writing what they find enjoyable. They should be allowed to do so, and I want to believe that people do what they do with good intentions.

They want to imagine scenarios with the templates of characters they love, and that's okay; even beyond sexuality/queer identities/etc., fan interpretations of characters can be incredibly, wildly different from who they really are in the story anyway, and that's what I try to remind myself. But still, I also can't help feeling disappointed about the aroace representation we could have seen.

(Is Alastor canonically sex-repulsed? Uhh, maybe. If I had to guess, that'd be my top guess, but this might be a hot take: I wouldn't really say there's enough to go off of considering that this view is supported by Angel propositioning him both times, and it's not like Alastor is a particularly big fan of Angel at those points anyway lol)

To my fellow aroaces struggling with Alastor's fandom rep: if you need a break from it all; if you need to block the tags that you hate; if you need to talk to someone about how you're feeling; that's okay. It makes sense that you'd want more representation in a way that helps you feel seen and validated and less alone. I can't speak for everyone, but I think I get it.

I don't have any solutions for how you're feeling, because sometimes I'm feeling the same way. I understand that you want others to get your position and you have the right to express your feelings, but even if you're correct, often being angry or frustrated won't help change others' minds, so let's try to save our energy and take care of ourselves.

Something that helps me to think about is that even now, asexuality is gaining more visibility. We're gaining support. Real change is happening in the world that's helping incredible amounts of aspec people feel freer to be themselves. And maybe one day, we won't be reaching to protect our scraps of representation.

Let's fight until that day together <3

[riverthebooknerd]

me: so there's this character

brain: mhm

me: he's aroace, but i keep searching for ships with him in them

brain: yessir

me: but i've been thinking about it, and i don't actually ship him with any of them

me: so... why?

brain: well, how do you feel about this character?

me: i'm obsessed with him, might be hyperfixating. i related to him a lot, and i think his design is really really cool. whenever i rewatch the show he's from, i always pay extra close attention to the parts that he's in, because he's one of the most interesting characters i've seen in a while

brain: uh huh. sounds to me like you just want to consume more content featuring him-

me: well, duh-

brain: -and one of the only sources of new content is the fandom. and in fandoms, typically the only times you'll find good content featuring your favorite characters is when they're being shipped with someone else

brain: not to mention how you want to see your character interacting in a dynamic with others

brain: AND your favorite genre is hurt/comfort, because you love seeing characters receiving comfort to soothe your own trauma

brain: maybe the reason why you keep shipping him, as well as your other comfort characters, is because it's the only way you know how to consume a dynamic without it being pushed aside into the background to make room for romance

me: ...

me: ...holy fuck

moral of the story? um. romance is a lie. i just want my favorite characters to be cherished and cuddled. i'm also considering whether i myself am aro, but that's a whole other holy fuck moment that i. don't have the emotional energy for right now. i'm already busy enough with school and shit

(btw this post was about alastor from hazbin hotel <333 yes my comfort character is a cannibalistic serial killer, leave me alone, i have fucking issues)

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic finder

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1. Looking for a Cloud Recesses era fic. LWJ eventually ask WWX why he doesn't complete his punishment to get it out of the way (he just doodles in the library so the punishment stretches on). WWX points out that it takes more than 1 to cheat in an exam and yet where are the other culprits? This leads to LWJ's awakening to the unfairness/hypocrisy of LQR and interpreting rules. I think this might be just before the betrothal is cancelled, and LWJ confronts LQR or he steps up for WWX during this scene. Maybe? It could be 2 separate scenes. Argh! Please help! Until A03 lets me download and filter my reading history, you're my only hope! @mreisse

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2. Hi.

So i read an uncompleted ao3 fic that wangxian had an arranged marriage and were NOT in a good terms and lwj was always cold to wwx also wwx had to wear a mask all the time or a bad fate would come to him if anyone aside jiangs see his face. At some point he goes to live in a mansion in yilling with mian mian and mo xuanyu and xu yang to go away from rumors because lwj had to also marry wen qing to appease wen rouhan

Anyway i couldn't find the fic anywhere and i don't remember its name. I was hoping if you guys have any idea what happened to it?

FOUND? #2 is A Price to Pay by Wangxianist. They have deleted account and all fics.

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3. Hi! ／(^ x ^)＼

I have a request for the fic finder!

I only remember this one bit? scene?

it's at a battle, SSC maybe? and WWX and 3 or 4 others hold hands and talk as one and they light up, and weird magic happen?

I'm sorry that it is so little and confused ／(＞×＜)＼

Hi! ／(^ x ^)＼ I'm #3 on the fic finder and it is not Quartet

but thank you anyway! I know that I really didn't give a lot to go of

if it helps I think one of the people with WWX might have been WN or NHS, but I'm really not sure

Not FOUND! Quartet series by WithBroomBefore (T, 69k wangxian, JZX & JC & WWX & LWJ, Canon Divergence, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss, WWX's canonical comfort with the prospect of his own death, Hurt/Comfort, JZX makes friends, Eventual Happy Ending, some unhappiness along the way, Canon-Typical Violence, JC keeps his golden core, JYL Lives, WQ Lives, Minor Character Death, Kissing, WWX Lives, no golden core transfer, JZX Lives, Fix-It, WN Lives, Weeping, temporary major character death, Murder Road Trip, Implied Sexual Content, Sunshot Campaign, Nonbinary NHS, Telepathy, platonic group soulbonding, Family, Found Family, POV WWX, Podfic Available, Siblings Sworn Brothers, aroace JZX, Happy Ending, all the Wen remnants live, POV JZX, JGY is less murdery, Asexual Character, Aromantic Character, JZX's social awkwardness, Poison)

FOUND! We Can See a New Start by preciousbunnynoiz (M, 127k, WangXian, XiCheng, XuanLi, Soulmates, Time Travel Fix-It, Biting, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, but mentally they are adults, Making Out, Fluff and Angst, Humor, Happy Ending, PTSD, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Supportive LWJ, Communication, Soul Bond, Blood, Found Family, Parent-Child Relationship, aromantic JC, Lesbian WQ, Queerplatonic Relationships, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Verbal Abuse, Disassociate episodes, disassociating, Suicidal Thoughts, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Depression, Delusions, Mental Health Issues, Mental Breakdown, Attempted Sexual Assault, Therapy, Supportive JC, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Family Feels, Implied/Referenced Torture, Revenge, Self-Sacrifice, Accidental Bonding, Brotherly Bonding)

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4. Hi! I'm trying to find a fic similar do the 8 ask from the previous fic finder. In this one, it's also an arranged marriage, and Lz also pushes Wy into a pond when they're teenagers, but there is a scene, after they're adults and already married, where Lz prevents Wy from falling into a pond, and it's revealed that Lz didn't actually push Wy into the pond, he just bumped into Wy when he turned around too fast and Wy fell into the pond, he was going to help Wy get out, but Wy got out by himself before Lz coulp help him and went away before Lz could say he was sorry and explain what happened.

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5. looking for a fic were lan xichen has the big sad, probably was a modern au. lan wangji and wei wuxian come by to help him clean his apartment and lan wangji is like “sorry I haven’t been here for you”. there’s mention of them putting the laundry away and stuff. fairly short.

FOUND! found in translation by sysrae (E, 12k, LXC/NMJ, wangxian, modern cultivation, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Panic Attacks, not LQR friendly, Meddling brothers, Coming Out, Loss of Virginity, Under-negotiated Kink, slight breathplay, Light Dom/sub, Aftercare, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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6. Hi! I’m looking for a fic. It’s wangxian modern au, they’re friends with benefits (top!LZ / Bottom!WY) and it’s told from Lan Wangji’s pov. Wei Ying gets in a car accident and is in a coma for 13 days (might be 16) and he ends up staying at Lan Wangji’s place while he gets better. I really can’t remember the title and it making me coo coo. Thank you xx @liv-andletdie

FOUND? Almost Lover by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 37k, Wangxian, modern, Angst with a happy ending, Hurt/Comfort, a bad thing happens to WWX, LWJ gets very sad, Hospital Scenes, Dubious Medical Science, pining for the person you're fucking, Friends With Benefits, friends who come together stay together, learning to use our words, there are also rabbits, Traumatic Injury, mention of past WWX/WQ)

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7. Hi, Thank you so much for your amazing work!! I am specifically looking for a fic where Jiang Yanli tells the Jins about where the Wens were living which leads to their death? And Wei Wuxian doesn't forgive her for that and even Jiang Cheng was upset about it. @yilinglaobunny

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8. It's both a fic finder and an ITMF, in the fic wwx had a tiger/lion and it was canon era, I'm not able to find it. // added the last part to ITMF post ~Mod L

FOUND? Time Unwinds in a Kaleidoscope of Red by vamprav (E, 30k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, WWX Has No Golden Core, Golden Core Reveal, BAMF WWX, Undead Tiger, Sentient Burial Mounds, JGY Redemption, As in wei ying recruits him to yunmeng, deadly hairpins) WWX raises a tiger from the dead in that one

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9. I’m looking for the fic where WWX “develops” a silver core - him, NMJ (I think), and LWJ follow JGY down a tunnel and catch him being shady, and JGY tries to activate the tiger amulet. It spirals out of control and WWX absorbs the power and it becomes a cool reservoir of power similar to a core, and WQ tells him “congratulations, you successfully invented a new kind of cultivation .”

Thank you for all you do!! @seussian

Hi! #9 on the recent fic finder post isn’t Never Again, although there are similar elements! The scene I’m remembering definitely involved fall~out from JGY using the tiger seal and WWX absorbing its power to save everyone. Thank you for all of your efforts!!

NOT FOUND! Never Again by Hauntcats (T, 67k, WWX & WN & WQ, JC & WWX, wangxian, graphic depictions of violence, major character death, Canon Divergence, Angst, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, Time Travel Fix-It, Not JC Friendly, Dark, BAMF WWX, mentions of abuse, Not Everyone Dies au, XY doesn't have a happy ending)

NOT FOUND! ❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

FOUND! The Breaking of Your Soul (Upon My Lips) by sunsandships (M, 40k, WangXian, XuanLi, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Mutual Pining, Canon-Typical Violence, Golden Core Reveal, Happy Ending)

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10. I'm looking for a fic where lqr regrets sending wwx away. I think it was something along the lines of yzy kicking wwx out, and wwx went to the lan household first (in the middle of the night?) but lqr thought he was being a disturbance and didn't let him in to see lwj and then wwx disappeared. Then several years later, lwj and wwx reconnect and there's a part where lqr is really repetent and shows that he always regretted turning wwx away bc he felt like it was partially his fault for how difficult wwx's life was after that. Tyvm in advance for everyone's help!

🔒Welcome to the Family Series by jiejieaini (E, 231k, WangXian, NieLan, XuanLi, Modern AU, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, London, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Adopted WWX, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Reunions, Hand Jobs, Gay Sex, Consensual Non-Consent, Dom/sub Undertones, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Christmas, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Praise Kink, Rough Sex, Rough Kissing, LWJ and WWX Have a Breeding Kink, First Time, Public Blow Jobs, High School, Implied/Referenced Domestic Violence, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Falling In Love, Love Confessions, Blowjobs, Soft WangXian, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Family Fluff, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Drowning, Canonical Character Death, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Dubious Consent, Rimming, Panic Attacks, Anxiety, Marriage Proposal, Weddings, Nightmares, Adoption, Pregnancy)

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11. Hello I am trying to find a fic, it was a little long ago

So what happens is that lwj and wwx were in full on love making session, cloths discarded and all and some people barge in on them 😭 I don't remember the rest but the people included lqr maybe idk

FOUND? divulgences by ataraxistence (Not rated, 3k, wangxian, Canon Divergence, Fluff, Humor, Love Confessions)

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12. Hi! I read a fic a couple of years ago that I'd love to find again... it was a modern au, where LWJ worked in his family run martial arts complex or something along those lines (I think a-yuan was a student, which is how WWX met him? But I might be getting my fics crossed) I remember LWJ was autistic, and there was a community festival or something and he was getting super overwhelmed so wwx put some juice or ketchup on his hand and pretended to be hurt so LWJ would have an excuse to go inside and "heal" him.

Thanks for all that you do! @scenicpixie

FOUND! leave all your love and your longing behind by ScarlettStorm (E, 143k, wangxian, modern, Meet-Ugly, Panic Attacks, autistic LWJ, neurodivergent WWX, the neighborhood asshole dog, if you've met one then you know, Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Minor Angst, major shenanigans, Happy Ending, for everyone including the asshole dog, setting out to make the neighborhood safer for your crush and accidentally building community, Eventual Smut, switch rights, Sex Toys, horny yearning, Masturbation, the chef's assortment of partnered sex acts)

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13. hi, im looking for a fic with a scene where lwj is in seclusion mourning wwx and is told he'll be forced to marry. he runs out immediately and gets drunk/brands himself, wakes up to lxc telling him their uncle has changed his mind and he won't have to marry (so please stop trying to die please). i remember literally nothing else so any assistance appreciated! @onlyegret

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14. For fic finder I am looking for a fic where Wei Wuxian is banished from Lotus Pier while Madam Yu is still alive and everyone in the sect has to turn away from him. Literally turn away: he walks down the streets to leave Lotus Pier and everyone he has ever known turns their faces from him. I think was technically outcast from the world of polite cultivation in whole (like no one from a sect was supposed to interact with him) but I don’t remember how his banishment played out after leaving. TY~!

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15. Hi i was wondering if you could help me find a fic. It is set during the yilling patriarch arc, the wens are in burial mounds. In koi tower madam jin was searching for jgs asking jgy about him. JGS was in a brothel and JGY got hit in the head with a vase because he didn't answer? JZX and JYL helped him but he suffered from a concussion and started acting weird and blurting out all his father's evil plan about planning on killing NMJ and trying to get the tiger seal i guess? In the end i think burial mounds and the wen creat a sect with jgy's help ? Amd i think it was a 3zun fic but i really cant remember sorry. Can you please help me find it i am searching for it for weeks now thanks!!! @booksandkdrama01

FOUND? Just a drop by R95irth (Not Rated, 184k, XiYao, WangXian, XuanLi, ChengSangQing, Humor, Crack Treated Seriously, Canon Divergence, Fix-It of Sorts, 3zun | Venerated Triad Dynamics, 3Zun at the very end)

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16. Hello, seeking a bit of help because my own searches are turning up nothing. Looking for a fic where Mdm Yu had first (secretly?) married Jin Guangshan, before marrying Jiang Fengmian a bit later. It turns out that Yanli and Cheng are both actually Jin (because Mdm Yu *kept* cheating) and are disowned by Jiang and taken into Jin as servants. Mdm Yu loses her arms(?). Jin Guangyao tried to frame Yanli for poisoning Mdm Jin. @zoolooney

FOUND! Could this one be “OOC!” by A_flower_in_the_snow that was reuploaded on Wattpad

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17. Hi, i'm searching for a fic where lan wangji needs a favor from yiling laozu. Wei ying jokingly says He wants his first born and lan wangji proceeds to marry him so the can make that child.

FOUND? ❤️ spider lilies to sunflowers by cicer (E, 33k, wangxian, ABO, YLLZ WWX, fairy tale elements, mpreg, omega LWJ, alpha WWX, LWJ topping from the bottom, Mojo’s post)

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18. Hello for the fic finder, can you help find this fic, lwj is a uni professor who's stoic and cold and he's taking online classes and then one day wwx walks into the frame wearing booty shorts (?) and everyone of lwjs students are shocked and trying to figure out who he is. Eventually they find wwxs oh or smth. That's all I remember, if you can find it thank you so much 💞

FOUND? looking through a window by glitteringmoonlight (T, 5k, wangxian, modern, POV Outsider, College/University, Fluff and Humor)

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19. Hi, can you help me find this fic in which WWX is a General in the army (and is also a Prince I suppose but not like next in line) and is rumored to be hideous looking because of the scar on his face or something and is feared by the world. WangXian are married (arranged) and WWX only sleeps with LWJ enough to conceive a child and once he is informed of LWJ being pregnant, WWX stops seeing LWJ at all. WWX is under the impression that LWJ would find him ugly and so he even dims the lights and has LWJ wear a blindfold whenever they share their marital bed. LWJ doesn’t know his husband, hasn’t even seen his face properly and has never spoken to him in all the months they have been married and he is feeling extremely lonely but one day he finds an injured man in his courtyard and takes care of him without anyone’s knowledge. He doesn’t know the injured man is actually his husband WWX.

I read this on ao3 and forgot to bookmark it and now I can’t find it. Please, I will be extremely grateful if you could find it.

Thanks!

FOUND? 🔒 Love Swept in with the Rain by Sirendipity (M, 35k, WIP, WangXian, Bottom LWJ/Top WWX, Historical, Arranged Marriage, Secret Identity, Mistaken Identity, Emotional Infidelity, lwj cheats on his husband with his husband, Depression, Mpreg, Discussion of Abortion, Period-Typical Sexism, Hurt/Comfort, Fantasy, Older WWX, Younger LWJ, General WWX, Unreliable Narrator, Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Beauty and the Beast Elements)

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20. Looking for a fic that I remember only one scene from 😅 WWX tells LWJ that he could not have saved him no matter what he would have done, LWJ breaking down hard after. Pretty sure they were in the Jingshi.

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[aro-bird]

I do have to say, as someone on the camp of "you could probably ship someone else who isn't non-partnering but honestly I don't care as long as you don't harass people over this", I think it's lost on some people that the reason why so many non-partnering aroaces may become defensive over these characters even if "it's just fandom" is the fact that a lot of aroaces who do fit these stereotypes and who may fall into this camp genuinely had horrible experiences about their social circles and yes, especially this fandom site, harassing them and saying they don't exist or that they're mentally ill and should "get fixed" among other things.

As common it is to see aspecs here on Tumblr, the queer social media site, you need to understand that there's still a lot of contempt for aroaces outside and inside this place. Hell, I received an ask calling aros and aces delusional just last Christmas Day 2023 that came with a wave of increased arophobia around that time. As much as that time period was definitely discourse against aroallo men, aphobes did not cherry pick on who they're sending hate to.

Besides this, a lot of non-partnering aroaces often receive this kind of dismissal in real life too and as much as some people may think it's not a big deal, it definitely fucks up your brain when people say you and your experiences not only don't matter but you are doomed to live a lonely and miserable life if you don't find someone. Even my otherwise very supportive relatives expressed this concern and it's absolutely out of care but it's fucking damaging to constantly hear that I will die alone if I don't find a partner (romantic, platonic, or otherwise).

This is besides dismissals like this or even non-acceptance had literally barred me from mental health care when I was a teenager because my specialist said I had a "distressed sexuality" and had specialists focused on that aspect rather than all my other issues.

The shipping of a non-partnering (typically romance repulsed or uninterested) character feels like another form of dismissal for someone like me, like my sexuality is not good enough or serious enough to be respected. The shipping of these characters sometimes reinforce the narrative that non-partnering aroace people can't find happiness on their own and do need someone (romantic, platonic, or otherwise) to be happy or they will become happier if they do find this someone. People are having fun with their ships but there are still many people who don't want to spend the time actually extending grace and understanding towards me and my experiences. I'm just another discourse topic and someone who's inconvenient to some of them.

This doesn't even account for how these fan communities aren't just filled with aspec people and do extend to allos who may take some of the discourse and actively apply it in real life to other real life aspec people. People who go and interact with real human beings and may hurt them or harass them. It isn't even accounting for the fact that even online things affect real people too.

Of course, I do understand that a lot more complex aspec identities often don't get the spotlight so they may express themselves through shipping fandom characters but non-partnering people should deserve more than these people isn't really the point of this post.

The point here is that there's a reason why a lot of non-partnering (typically repulsed or uninterested) aroace people get defensive about these things even in fan communities and it's very likely that it's because aphobia and especially against the stereotypical aroace™ still very much exist outside of our little community and they can be informed by media and the fans that consume it and this shit could genuinely have negative consequences. This of course extends to those who do have complex aspec identities as society does not treat those who don't live up to what is expected as "normal" in terms of romantic relationships and sexual attraction kindly.

Distancing yourself from these aroaces who do have frustrations with how media and fandom treat their sexuality because they're being "prudes" or are just affected by "purity culture" is unhelpful to say the least and honestly veers eerily close to shit I hear aphobes say about us.

Absolutely do stop people and block them if they're instigating and participating in harassment over shipping of all things, even these aroaces, but trying to say that every person who do have issues with shipping aroace characters are the same way with this is extremely lacking nuance and absolutely dismissive of other members of the community and why they may have the opinion they hold.

[plantwriting]

List of bitb headcanons I’ve just accidentally convinced myself are canon or something to the point where I’m shocked when they aren’t (under the cut so I dont needlessly fill up people’s feeds and also for spoilers)

-Rolan is a gay man

-Rolan did not realize he was a gay man until like his mid to late 20s

-Kian’s parents were drug addicts and very neglectful (I mean there’s subtext pointing to it but like technically all we know about them is that they’re hippies, they’re part of a “commune” (probably a cult) and they didn’t give him a last name)

-Rand has a stockier build than the other two. I don’t. He’s very skinny in official art. But in my brain? No he is not. Bro is chubby.

-Rolan was raised very religious and now he has issues

-Kian’s death and rebirth left him with a very large scar on his stomach (listen all I’m saying is the stingers like melt your skin and shit so if he swallowed it it would have done that to him from the inside starting at his stomach and also-)

-Rand is aroace but because he’s pretty sex positive and romance like neutral / positive he ends up thinking he’s bi

-Rolan had a cat with en ex-girlfriend but she took it when they broke up because Rolan’s a workaholic (mutual decision)

-Kian was definitely homeless at some point or at least very very much struggling for money while still trying to make the rockstar thing work

-Rand is dyslexic. Don’t really know where that came from and it’s not based on anything I just feel it in my soul

-Rolan can’t actually like… get sick. At least not with any kind of human illnesses. He just thought he had a very good immune system for the longest time.

-Kian is so so so very trans!!! Which direction? Depends entirely on what I feel like writing that day

-Rand was left a lot of shit in both of the other twos’ wills so post canon he’d be financially speaking pretty okay. Once he was doing a bit better he’d spend some of that money to just fucking start a record label, publish Kian’s music, and then leave conspiracy theorists going wild when the record label never publishes anything else ever again

-Rolan is the only one of the three who has like… actual other friends. They’re mostly from college and stuff and they’re not super close anymore but still call from time to time

-Kian calls Rolan hot nonchalantly

-Rand attempted before (please tell me you’ve seen the original please it’s meant to be a joke but also. Uh. Yeah.)

-All three of them are autistic. You know I’m right.

-The bugs can buzz in a way that has a similar effect to a cat’s purring :)

-Also on the bugs: they have a hierarchy that consists of

The queen (starts the hive, typically stays in the nest, not really of this mortal plane so needs a host to like tether them to it (Rachel), very intelligent and obviously rules the hive),

What I am choosing to call impostors for funny (more intelligent than average workers, are fully aware of what they are and what’s going on but can still pretend to be just normal people, act as a sort of middle man between the queen and the workers, mostly in charge of reproduction and gathering intel, keep and have all the knowledge from the person they are pretending to be),

And then the workers (not very smart on their own and need the hivemind to have like any idea what to do, have basically two minds aka the human mind and the bug mind, only one of which can typically be in control at a time, not capable of reproduction (mostly so i dont have to think about the implications of the bugs canonically laying eggs and Rolan), main purpose is to expand the hive, get food and protect the queen)

[olderthannetfic]

The aroace anon makes me sad and shows how fucked up the whole discourse around ace and aro spectrum identities has become. The whole concept of asexuality was originally created for people like anon: a lack of sexual desire/attraction and affirming that this is a thing that can exist without being a trauma symptom and does not mean you can’t live a full, happy life. I’m not saying it was wrong to point out that some ace people have and enjoy sex; that’s obviously true. But people have apparently hammered it in so hard that some circles think that it’s strange for ace people NOT to want sex, and now the kind of people *the term was made for* are made to feel ashamed. And what’s especially telling and disturbing to me is the people in the replies saying they must be sex-repulsed. Anon is not saying anything to indicate repulsion; they’re just not interested in sex. People seem to have forgotten what “repulsion” actually means, but saying that someone who just doesn’t experience sexual attraction is “sex repulsed” is like saying that someone who is only sexually attracted to one gender is “repulsed” by other ones. Are straight women “women-repulsed?” And what’s most fucked up about this is genuine sexual *repulsion* is usually a sign of trauma and is the thing that is supposed to be dealt with in therapy THAT THE ORIGINAL ASEXUAL ACTIVISTS WERE SAYING THEY DID NOT HAVE. We have come full circle, where the concept is now used to advocate the opposite thing it was created for. What used to be about how someone like anon is normal and what they feel is fine and not because of trauma is now used to say “no there’s still something wrong with you if you don’t want sex, and that’s definitely due to trauma.” What the fuck people… but while I think a lot of it is just broader misconceptions about ace people including ace people themselves who internalize this, I do think part of the issue is there are clearly a lot of people online who identify as ace who are likely not actually, who clearly have pretty typical allosexual levels of attraction/desire but aren’t aware of that, because they’re overthinking stuff or they *think* about that attraction a little differently from others (as an autistic person myself I feel like this is especially common for those of us on the spectrum) or just are inexperienced. And nothing wrong with taking time to figure shit out, but it’s a problem when that perspective shuts out people like anon from the movement built for them. Like even just talking about “gatekeeping” is weird, because people like anon have been usually the ones deep inside the gates! And now people on the outside are pulling them out as they elbow their way in

--

Anon sounds like such a classic version of aroace. Not that other people can't also have that identity, but of all the people to try to gatekeep out of it... Sheesh!

[ambriel-angstwitch]

So some more thoughts on The Sun and The Star

I love how this book has one of the healthiest understanding of love I’ve seen in recent media.

To quote Persephone

“But no matter what form love takes, no matter how much or how little you have, you must still choose to cultivate it. In friendships, in romantic relationships, in life,”

I love that quote because I feel like there’s no longer an understanding of the choice you make to love. Love is a complex idea, and I feel like to many people believe it’s just a feeling. From what I’ve observed and understood in my life it isn’t though. Of course feelings are important and are typically what start it love isn’t just that. Love is also a choice and a commitment. You choose each day to love somebody to commit yourself to actively work towards furthering your relationship and your understanding of each other.

This book understood that. It understood that in a relationship there’s going to be times it’s hard, you don’t understand each other and you might fight. Those giddy romantic feelings might die out for a bit. But none of those mean you give up. No you work through your issues and along the way you might reignite the spark that started everything.

And that’s what Solangelos relationship was, they had their highs and their lows, they fought, they didn’t always feel those sappy feelings but through all of that they never gave up on their relationship. They worked through it.

I don’t know I just thought this was a really refreshing take on a love story. It was a type of love that even I as someone Aroace spec could understand. I don’t get those giddy brain chemical feelings but I do understand commitment and choosing to love those people important in your life.

[enihk-writes]

[thunder bolts in a clear sky]

cross-posted on AO3 (hiatus there until further notice)

pairing: mhdd!chung myung x afab!she/her!reader (undecided)

OC x afab!she/her!reader (doomed yuri) mhdd!chung myung + afab!she/her!reader (queer-platonic attraction that's not inherently sexual or romantic and not fully platonic either, reader is going to end up being very aroace if that's not how you roll then... sorry i guess...)

plot overview: reader is a person from an unspecified distant future, reincarnated into the current mount hua timeline after facing execution for multiple low-level crimes among other false accusations. the chapters will switch between her current timeline and ones which will delve into her past — introducing the world she came from and the people she knew in more depth.

will be attempting to explore the difference in philosophies between reader and chung myung — nihilism in that nothing you do will ever matter vs chung myung who strives to create a better future that he might not even have a chance to see. reader who can connect with people around her vs chung myung who has trouble opening up and trusting others with his burdens... among other topics i.e. reader's feeling of alienation in both lives as someone who physically does not look like she belongs in this community

content warning: canon-typical violence // blood and violence // gore // body horror // execution // torture // emotional manipulation // implied and referenced child abuse // grooming // child soldiers // post-traumatic stress disorder - ptsd // unhealthy coping mechanisms // war crimes // government experimentation // government conspiracy // government agencies // disability // flawed justice system // other additional tags to be added + tags may change

[WILL WRITE A DISCLAIMER AND CONTENT WARNING ON EACH CHAPTER THAT DISCUSSES ANY OF THE ABOVE TOPICS]

❀ chapters ❀

any discussions or mentions of the topics disclosed in the content warnings will be marked at the end of the chapter titles with a [*]

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[rolaplayor101]

After searching about, I've found others who've had and thought about the same issue that I did, which is that the Kingdom Hearts fandom has a HUGE amatonormativity problem. Which, yeah, most fandoms do, but the difference here is that the KH fandom is pretty small, which makes it way more prevalent.

There's a good amount of people who think Sora is aroace, grayromantic, or alloromantic asexual, but they keep it to themselves for risk of being harassed by shippers. They have to protect themselves with "aphobes DNI" on the few posts they do post about it. They have to continuously reblog their own art or go to a confession blog to lament about it.

And it's sad! This is saddening! And the thing is, I do ship SoRiKai. At least the minimum amount, enough to be fully invested in what's going on in canon. Because, canonically? They do care about each other intensely enough to usually go beyond the bounds of typical friendship. Especially Sora. The way he thinks, the things he does, it's all so grandeur in comparison to the things people do in real life for their friends. He flat out says he wants to be with Riku and Kairi forever in one of the first games.

The problem is that people still think being aroace means being apothi and aplatonic, but that's not the case. Sora feels platonic attraction so quickly, frequently, and intensely that it even puts off new characters he meets in the game. He's affectionate, uplifting, and confident(most of the time). But people can't see aroace people as a whole as anything but negative and loveless. Which is just plain not the case for all of us. Aspec people post about the different ways aspec people think all the time! It's mostly the only thing in the aromantic and asexual tags, and I frequent those a lot! So I'd know!

This is an issue thats brought up over and over and over again, and it's that being aroace-- feeling exactly zero romantic or sexual attraction-- does not mean you also feel zero platonic or queerplatonic (or sensual or alterous or any tertiary) attraction. It does not mean you can't feel attraction that is just as intense as allos feel romantic or sexual attraction. Sora has always attributed his strength and confidence to his friends, to his heart that belongs to all of his friends. He feels platonic attraction so intensely that it literally powers him up. It's the main theme of the entire Kingdom Hearts franchise.

Saying that Sora feels queerplatonic attraction towards Riku and Kairi does not mean he'd feel any less than if he were romantically and/or sexually attracted to them.

Thinking that queerplatonic and/or platonic attraction is less than romantic and/or sexual attraction is incorrect, aphobic, amatonormative, and exactly contrary to what Kingdom Hearts the franchise is partially trying to do.

Kingdom Hearts normalizes healthy, platonic, life-long relationships, which wasn't well represented in the early 2000s. Most media represented friendships as on the back burner, especially when pit against romantic relationships. Affectionate arospecs watched shows and movies when they were younger seeing the main character dismiss their friends, grow out of them, or outright hate them, and then have their problems be solved by a romantic partner. Toxic or unhealthy friendships (and also sibling relationships) were the norm, so having Kingdom Hearts, and a few other media I can't think of right now, be made where there's no romance outside of background characters and established ones fron Disney Movies, and where friendship is treated as equal and as the most important, was revolutionary.

Tons of Shounen anime do this, too. Bleach, Full Metal Alchemist, Hero Academia, most sports anime. Then there's other stuff like most magical girl anime, Soul Eater, Little Witch Academia, Promised Neverland, Lucky Star, Baccano, most Miyazaki movies. A lot of popular anime are popular because people love the friendships between characters. And I bet most people in Kingdom Hearts love it specifically because of the friendships too. They like that they're friends. Because their friendships are wholesome, and healthy, and good. They make us feel good. KH isn't "Queerbaiting"(which is only ever brought up for mlm ships and never for aspecs or wlw) for having Riku and Sora care about each other and get along. Just because pop culture has forced f/m relationships start specifically because a girl and a boy get along(if even that happens), doesn't mean that all characters in all media that get along are romantically into each other. Both of those are bad and thinking that its not is a double standard. Platonic chemistry and romantic chemistry are not the same (even if pop culture media continue to try and make it seem like they are). But so many posts trying to prove Sora is actually canonically secretly in romantic love with Riku and Kairi only have evidence of him just being his regular old self, doing things he canonically sees as platonic-- things that are platonic.

It's not an issue of people headcanoning Sora with romantic/sexual attraction (or otherwise) for the other characters, it's about the harassing of other people that it's canon and the blatant aphobia and amatonormativity. All that's canon right now is that Sora cares about his friends, which includes Riku and Kairi, and the fact that I got so much negativity back for saying he's aroace and feels queerplatonic attraction for them only proves that some people in this fandom think aroace people can't care about anyone strictly because they don't feel romantic or sexual attraction. The aphobia in the fandom needs to be addressed, and the aspec content should be allowed to be post freely without push back.

TLDR; Once the main Kingdom Hearts fandom stops seeing every little interaction between certain characters as canonically romantic, it'll finally be a more open and healthy community that people won't be afraid to engage in.

I want this to be helpful to read and for someone to learn something. And if aphobia shows up again, maybe take that person to the side and say that's not cool? Defend us aspecs, please? Cause all that..really makes me feel bad about and put off Kingdom Hearts completely. (And again! I ship SoRiKai! But people that don't ship it shouldn't have to go through this either!)

[saffigon]

Can I ask why you don't like ace people?

I really can't tell if this is good faith or not, but going to take this as an opportunity to explain anyway.

It is not that I don't like ace people. I think asexuality is an important identity and support those that identify with it.

However, I don't particularly care for the asexual community. There is a tendency to talk over aromantic experiences, especially non-asexual aromantic experiences, and a strong focus on sex repulsion that sometimes veers into sex negativity. Talking over experiences is usually a larger picture thing. Aromantic characters or experiences are typically ignored in favor of asexuality, either in the case of aroace discussions focusing almost solely on asexuality or in the case of non-ace aro discussions having asexuality present when it shouldn't be. The aromantic community often gets confused with the asexual community, but they are two separate spaces, and it can be frustrating when the ace community talks over the aro community. Sex repulsion itself is completely valid. I have experienced both romance and sex repulsion myself, and it would be hypocritical of me to be against sex repulsion. My issue comes when that repulsion becomes an overall view that sex is bad or gross inherently. I have this issue in the aro community as well with romance negativity, but it doesn't seem like as large of an issue as sex negativity is in the ace community.

I don't want ace tags on aro-centered posts because, as I've described, there's a lot of issue with talking over aro voices and conflating the two identities. I don't personally label myself as a part of the ace community because I don't feel comfortable doing so; I engage in sex and do experience sexual attraction, just not to a 100% allo extent, so I label myself as greyspec. I have spent time in the ace community and I don't particularly feel welcome in that space because of my experiences, but that's not to say ace spaces are all sex negative or all speak over aro voices or that those that experience sexual attraction don't have a place in ace spaces; just that I don't align myself because I don't feel personally comfortable in those spaces.

[alastors-antlers]

Why Alastor is good aroace rep after all, written by an aroace

Hello all! I just want to start off this post by saying that I'm one person who definitely doesn't speak for all aroaces, but I wanted to make a post on this anyway, and maybe some folk would be interested in hearing out another perspective?

I'm not really caught up on everything that's been said over the course of HH's creation - only more recent interviews, since I'm pretty new to the fandom. Apologies if I've missed anything, but also I do not have the time to keep up with all the out-of-canon-material backstory unfortunately. I'm working with what we've got here.

So here's the thing:

Alastor is cruel, he's narcissistic, he doesn't care about anyone except himself, he's a serial killer and a monster.

(That's the argument I've heard - please tell me if that's not really what people are going for lol, in which case I've totally misunderstood?)

The issue with aroace rep when it paints asexual people with those traits is that it aims to dehumanizes them. Sex and love are essential to the human experience, right? So why wouldn't someone be interested? Because they're self-absorbed, and cold, and detached. They don't have the capacity to love others enough to feel romance.

And sure, Alastor is a killer, and a schemer, and prideful, and a monster by hell's standards. But no matter how above it all and stylish and in control and provocative he wants to be, he's a very human character, and his aroace-ness never serves to add to his alienation. You could even say that it makes him seem even more personable.

That's what I think is the key difference.

why he's human

Alastor's whole persona is about control, and he basically straight-up says this. He's controlling what his enemies know, what his public image is like. His goal is to be the Radio Demon -- overlord of Hell, charismatic, Machiavellian, and undefeatable. He's not. Despite that smile plastered over his face (a powerful tool, huh) he's so expressive for someone who's constantly pretending.

You see his exasperation with the Egg Bois and with Charlie's ranting; his nervousness in front of Zestial; his frustration with Lucifer and the petty lengths he goes to to piss off the ruler of Hell.

You see his desperation, making that deal with Charlie. He's surprised by the idea of being vulnerable in front of an enemy like Adam, and so close to danger. He drops the radio filter and the affect out of fear, and runs on broadcast TV to let out panic and anger and bitterness in his hideout, where no one else can see him.

He has a smile that tells us he's genuinely happy to see someone; it's a little wider than his default. You see it with Mimzy's greeting, you see it with Rosie. Rosie, especially, serves to make Alastor more human to the audience. More on this later, but for now, I'm just saying that you can see that he at least seems to respect her greatly. Whatever bond they have, we know that he trusts her to touch him, to share history with him, and with support that he trusts no one else for.

He pretends, but he can't pretend it all away. Loads of these emotions aren't even advantageous for him to show. It isn't necessarily how the typical asexual psychopath acts; he's not emotionless or only capable of anger or brutality.

He's so full of emotion that it leaks through, despite all that he does to avoid it. He's not inhuman and aloof, not really - he's so, so human, even when he tries not to be because he thinks that'll be what keeps him above all the rest. In control, and free from his chains.

(If anyone wants to see images about all this, I'll make a separate post - just let me know.)

(I also have another post, talking about why Alastor is at least a little attached to the hotel's residents too, shown via conversation with Niffty. In what way? different question.)

how the aroace part contributes to that

Now, to be fair, we don't hear much about his aroaceness in canon. It's just not relevant a lot of the time.

In the pilot, Angel's proposition ruffles his feathers so much that Alastor blanks for a moment. It's a joke, sure, but that ace panic face is a pretty popular Alastor moment in the fandom - Alastor, thrown off-balance by a sex joke of all things, after so many years in Hell that he should probably be used to this.

It's a moment that makes him more approachable; his aroaceness shows him unprepared for something someone else does for one of the only real moments in the whole episode.

And the other part: the ace in the hole statement.

Rosie apparently knows Alastor so well that she read that he's aroace. That tells us about their relationship; namely, that it is long-standing and genuine enough that she gleaned a piece of real information from him. It's a casual fact that she knows about him before he even figured it out himself. It lends legitimacy to their bond - this bond that shows us a more comfortable and warm side of Alastor that we don't often see.

If their relationship is purely business, isn't this something pretty frivolous and personal? It's not like he has anything to gain by telling her about his life, but she learned about it somehow. How close are they? That's where it adds a layer of complexity and personality to his character..

thoughts on representation

Overall, Alastor's an interesting character who has a level of depth and care and personality (outside of cruelty) that asexual psychopath tropes lack. Again, the moments where he's being represented as disinterested in sex or romance don't make him seem detached. Again, they don't say "look how hostile toward relationships his behaviour is - how separate he is from our humanity". That's what bad villain ace rep is. That's not what the show's doing.

Also: I'm not saying that we need to lower our standards or anything, but even if you think it's not the best rep, I feel like we should be supporting HH's efforts here. I know that on Tumblr we have a pretty queer-friendly space going, which is honestly an understatement lol but

Aces are incredibly underrepresented in fiction. There's a whole Wikipedia page about asexual characters in media, and it's short as all hell, and even if you consider what's on there you see quite a number of one-off characters who are never mentioned again.

In terms of real life business - before the DSM updated their definition of hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) in 2013, identifying as asexual wasn't even a recognized thing. If you talked to a clinician about your lack of sexual desire, you could be diagnosed with a disorder. Only in the 5th edition do we now have a little exclusion footnote about it.

The concept of asexuality hasn't been explored nearly as much as other queer identities in our scientific research. We get crumbs in terms of mainstream representation and understanding. House M.D. has an episode where House "disproves" us because he's just so smart.

Alastor isn't going to be perfect representation. There's no such thing as perfect representation, and from the moment he was conceptualized, you could see how people would take him poorly. Still, I think he's a net positive.

He isn't a side character or a token ace - he's a core part of the show, whose personality and character motivations we can reasonably presume are going to be explored much more deeply in upcoming season(s). He's loved by the fandom. Right now, given what we know, I trust Vivziepop to write the aroace representation he deserves, because with the way I've heard the cast/directing/etc. talk about him, they're trying to do the aroace community justice, so I wish people would let up just a little on the whole "Alastor is bad rep".

Let's give him a chance, all right?

[aether-friskets]

Why I Headcanon Waylon Park as a Trans Guy?

it came to me in a dream.

ok but jokes aside (well not entirely it DID actually originate because of a dream i had getting interrupted by a nonexistent video essay on the topic... dreams are weird man), i do want to try talking about my reasoning for this (although it's totally legit to hc a character as trans purely because you want to!! thats totally based also lol), because maybe it'd be interesting to hear the lens through which i saw this game? idk lol but i'm doing it anyway... below the cut in case it gets long

Ok immediate prefaces, A: i doubt this was actually the intended at all and i'm not trying to say it's canon, just saying why i read it that way :3 and B: this will probably be a rambling mess and I apologize, I'll try to make it somewhat make sense.

I guess I'll start with: a whole major thing of Outlast, is fighting to tear down this large corporation, that is like. the embodiment of shitty systems that exploit people (this post by bry mentions that general topic, although more focused on miles' angle). It's worth noting because, to me at least, fighting these sorts of systems really aligns with a lot of queer folks (and basically any group that gets fucked over by the system, which is most of them loll). There's like, this whole thing of Waylon seemingly fitting that image of the ideal typical man, with the wife and kids and a job, but he has to risk all of that to do what he feels is the right thing.

(Oh yeah, I guess quick tangent on that note. Yes I know in canon we literally see his dick lmao and also we know he has kids, which you might think would deter my hc here. but A: i already said ik it's probably not canon, i can still read into it regardless. B: intersex ppl exist. C: phalloplasty and other similar procedures exist. D: ppl can have kids in non-traditional way. so im prob not gonna cover that element of it more)

My brain hasn't been able to help but interpret his whole journey in a queer way, because i played it as a teenager still in the throes of understanding my identity and place in the world, so in the end this might not even make sense to anyone else. But, I'm trying to explain, so I'll continue to regardless.

I kind of saw it as Waylon hiding in the protection of an "ideal" life. On the surface he looks like he's in that American ideal family, but it's a subversion. He's only one of them because they think he is. Because he doesn't step out of line. Unlike Miles, who's more outspoken about issues, who seemingly has no one around him. He's treated as part of this "ideal" world, while working in the background to try and stop the exploitation and immoral acts going on.

When he's caught, when he's seen as something more complicated than first imagined, he's cast out. Lumped in with the same people being exploited by Murkoff already. He isn't "human" to them anymore. He's something else. Something they don't like.

Although the violence brought upon him is by the variants, it is still in part Murkoff's doing, since they fucked these people up via these experiments to a point of heightened violence and just generally ruining their lives more than they already had been by whatever they had done prior. That being said, they are still responsible for their own actions.

the stuff with Eddie is definitely the part that most resonated with me through this lens. I remember first playing it, and he scared me the most, for a lot of reasons. One of which being what he represented. He's The Groom. He wants someone to be his Bride, and you're it, even if you don't want that. As someone who's aroace AND already knew at that point that i wasn't a girl, this guy felt like a human embodiment of the pressures to fit what was expected of you. That one day, you'll be married and have kids. If you don't, then you're worthless.

But it's interesting especially, because Waylon IS married. He has kids already. He has that family. The difference is, in this hypothetical trans lens, he's not "really" in a traditional family. He's "pretending", as some might see it, because he's not "really one of them". Being Eddie's Bride is the situation that would've been expected of him, but he said "fuck that", and did his own thing.

Plus, like, with Eddie in particular, you will NEVER be what he wants. He will try to make his perfect bride, but you'll never be it. Even before Mount Massive, no one was what he wanted, judging by all the people he killed. He's a broken man desiring something but never liking his options.

Also just fucking. these lines from eddie make me lose my mind.

That part of you the world sees, they think it's perfect. As God intended. Even these idiots and lunatics see it. There's something special about you. On the surface. But when they look deeper, when anybody with eyes to see looks at what you truly are. That's why they don't trust you. You're not what you're meant to be. Not yet. This place can see into your mind. And the things you've done. Oh, they're a sin, darling.

like HELLO??

I know it's probably just Eddie rambling but it felt like he reached through the screen and grabbed me by the throat like.

Anyway in actual relation to my point. uh. Remember the thing I said about Waylon being a "fake" typical family? This kind of relates to that. Like, on the surface, he seems like he's got this perfect typical American family, he's "as God intended" (which. bro. i swear that exact phrase has been used against trans people so many times). But if you look closer, you'll realize there's more to it than that. Also like, going from the "as God intended" line to the thing about the things he's done being a sin, like hmmm. Maybe I'm reading into that too much, considering we know Eddie wants to make you into his Bride, so of course he's gonna think stuff like that. But still. It's a bit interesting to me.

Plus, it's interesting how, despite having a wife and kids, he's still more... feminized, I guess, than any other characters in this game. Both in the game itself, and within the fandom. Like, not just Eddie literally calling him a woman and trying to make him his bride, but also stuff like a variant near the beginning calling him a "pretty flower" before threatening him, Andrew (one of the staff) licking his face at the beginning of the game... A lot of violence and sexual-ish acts that are often directed at women in media. Even Frank, who I don't have as much to say about here, has some weirdly sexual undertones to his whole cannibalism thing.

This isn't entirely related but one part of the game that still sticks with me but I don't see mentioned as much, is near the beginning. Those guys stabbing the dead staff member. One of them remarks that "there are no observers here" and "do you think you're different? Something special?", which I think helps cement the whole idea that he's treated the same as the rest of people being exploited by Murkoff now. There's no turning back to that "ideal" life you were hiding in before. Hell, that's definitely reinforced more at the end of the game, when you choose to publish your footage, knowing Murkoff will come after you for it, and probably ruin your life. Maybe there's more interesting things to glean from that, but i thought they were interesting lines nonetheless.

anyway, overall I know this is probably just the ramblings of a trans/generally queer person reading WAY too much into a character that I happened to resonate with when i played the game, but i thought maybe it would be interesting for others to understand what would lead me to this conclusion? Anyway, that's all i've got on the subject right now, so I hope it was at least a little interesting.

[just-your-average-cryptid]

Since APPARENTLY it needs to be said, a reminder on what amatonormativity actually means:

The assumption that romantic relationships are the highest level of partnership

The assumption that all people seek a romantic relationship

For example:

When people assume that a guy hanging out with a girl MUST be trying to date and/or screw her, that’s point #1 in action (along with heteronormativity, but that’s a separate topic.)

When single people are constantly asked why they aren’t dating, be they aro or allo, that’s point #2 in action. Yes, people can be happy without being partnered. Shocking, I know.

When we aromantics talk about amatonormativity, this is what we mean. We don’t hate allos or the concept of dating - some aros will enter romance-like relationships themselves, just without the attraction experienced by alloromantics. Dating is fine. It’s fun for some people, and that’s not an issue. What is an issue is assuming that everyone wants to partner off and harassing people who would really like to not do that.

And while we’re at it…

Queer-platonic relationship (QPR): A relationship between people, typically with at least one being aro-spec, wherein those involved have a platonic bond but partake in activities typical to non-platonic relationships. They queer the platonic - challenging the idea of what “platonic” can and cannot include. It is not the same as friendship. It is not romance by another name.

Thank you for coming to my Aroace TED Talk. If you have more interest in this subject, may I suggest Elizabeth Brake’s page on amatonormativity as a starting point; she coined the term and provided the definition used above. I may add more resources here later when I feel less like biting someone’s ankles off.

[paranormalplanet]

i made more wednesday fanart

the wednesday/wenclair brainrot is strong so uuuuh enjoy these doodles

also im gonna put some headcanons and talk about some stuff i thought was interesting under the cut (huge s1 spoilers!!)

ALRIGHT SO. first, with tyler, i'm wondering up until what point was genuine because he could have just... not saved wednesday from rowan and snatched her blood as the key for crackstone. THEN, in the abandoned house he could have totally kidnapped her because she was alone (besides thing, who he could have easily destroyed if he wanted to) AND, at the rave'n it seemed like marilyn/laurel was suprised to see him sooooo.. idk share your thoughts if you want??? maybe he's just stupid lmao

also i saw someone headcanon ajax as nonbinary and i love that sm.

i might be projecting on wednesday, but oriented aroace wednesday that feels all types attraction as the same thing (quoiromantic) and is still able to enjoy typically romantic gestures, is my favorite oddly specific headcanon.

and mspec lesbian enid because bi flag colors in her hair and lesbian sweater

i want enid and wednesday to be in a qpr so bad but i know they won't do it :(

also undiagnosed autistic wednesday with visual sensory issues thinking it's a "color allergy" (it's canon in my heart)

enid totally played animal jam and/or neopets as a kid (was probably a furry, brony, or misc. fandom-goer at some point tbh)

[aro-bird]

I've been thinking about how to phrase this post for months but honestly it's been a bit of a struggle but I'll try anyway.

Considering I made a post before about shipping aroace characters and how allos tend to use the lived experiences of aros and aces in order to justify shipping a (typically repulsed or uninterested) non-partnering aspec character I do think this discourse genuinely has way more nuance especially considering other aspecs and shipping and a wider discussion about the community.

As much as I do want to agree here that some aroaces do use media to explore their sexualities and romantic orientation and they often project it on to established or widely regarded aspec characters, as well as non-partnering aspecs have a right to feel upset when a non-partnering character gets partnered in media, it feels like there's a defensiveness from both sides about the issue and it definitely reflects a larger discussion on romance and sexuality in the community.

It's true, for example, that we don't get much aroace representation in media and the ones we get are often limited or very stereotypically non-partnering romance-repulsed ace characters, but even with these stereotypes there are very much real aroaces who fit them who shouldn't have to beg people to have a character's identity be respected especially from other members of the aspec.

It's also true that non-partnering romance-repulsed characters in media do need to be seen and respected as these characters often have an impact and helping the aspec community be recognized without being treated as some strange other, but being treated as some strange other is also something that other aspecs have to deal with especially if people have a very narrow view of what aromanticism and asexuality could be.

People seem extremely defensive on both sides and honestly it's not surprising. A lot of the people in the community deal with erasure, not just in media but even in their own social circles and it could be exhausting trying to prove your existence to other people, especially in spaces where you would expect to be more respected than others like a fandom that has a prominent aspec character for example. It doesn't seem to be just silly fandom drama at times but an extension of the other issues in the community too.

How we treat romance and sexuality for example as a topic reflects that with aroaces discoursing on whether or not we should discuss more of these topics with the amount of posts either saying that "aspecs can do [insert romantic/sexual activity] too and should not be infantilized or treated as all repulsed about this thing besides being a narrow view of aromanticism/asexuality which can invalidate and hurt other members of the community" or "we should be more careful with discussing sexual/romantic discussions because it feels like a lot of them are veering into shaming repulsed people territory which is what this community was trying to set out not to do like other communities had done to hurt us in the past". There's definitely a nuance there that should be recognized when diving deep into this and especially with regards to the effect of allonormativity and amatonormativity that often gets ignored in some of these discussions.

I don't know where I'm going with this but I guess I understand why some aroaces may want to ship the (typically repulsed or uninterested) non-partnering aroace character and I also get why others are defensive about shipping them.

I do feel like the solution isn't gonna be that simple except maybe stop harassing each other over this but otherwise the discourse will continue even if we get more aspec characters in the future from what I'm seeing. We genuinely have a lot more aspec characters than we ever did before and a lot more queer characters in general, and the discourse is still there as it was ten years ago.